Thy will, not mine

[tima]

It is with a heavy, confused, hopeful and scared heart that I am posting to express my grief at the loss of my son. For the past 1872 days on my journey of sobriety, I have, as a father, been hoping my son would be delivered from his mental illness, and the self-medicating addictions that went along with it. It's easy to talk about someone being "constitutionally incapable of grasping and developing a manner of living that demands rigorous honesty". When it's your baby, it hurts more than anything. I wanted to have him receive the gift of true happiness here on earth, but it wasn't meant to be. I know it was not God's will. He needed to be fixed by God, and God needed him "home" to do his work. I found my son in his bed, and I believe he was at peace and is in peace. I just never imagined the hurt and despair I was to feel. But, more importantly, I have found the love and compassion inside and outside "the rooms". I know Timmy was loved, and I know I am loved. I pray for my family and I give thanks to God for the time we had with Timmy.

[MajestyJo]

Welcome to the site Tim A. Thank you for sharing, my thoughts and prayers go out to you. I have a son in active addiction and he has talked suicide for years and it is difficult to watch as his disease progresses.

Thank you for making the decision to join our site. I hope you will continue to come and share your journey with us.

Peace to you and yours over the holiday.

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[tima]

Thank you for the encouragement, Jo. I am at peace with my loss, and I have been very blessed with the love and support from my meetings, my church and my loved ones. I have not had any desire to drink, and I believe that was a miracle given to me by the grace of God. I believe that my choice of "God or no God" is much easier when I say yes to God, and allow his healing to be manifested I those who love me.

[bluidkiti]

Hi Tim, I am so very sorry for your loss. I have children myself and one that I worry about some. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. Please feel free to continue to come and share with us here. We are here for you. :42: