bluidkiti
10-16-2013, 09:43 AM
Stages of Sponsorship
Sponsorship is a fluid matter. As the sponsee progresses through different stages of recovery, the sponsor takes on different roles. At no time should the sponsor "play God." From the beginning, it should be stressed that s/he cannot recover the other person, and has no magical answers. Nonetheless, there are many ways a sponsor can be of service. Early on, this may involve much direction and confrontation, as the recoveree struggles to get free of the illness. Later on, the sponsor may take a different role; sounding board, reality check, and mentor as the recoveree themselves begins to sponsor.
Each sponsor-sponsee relationship has its unique features. Nonetheless, there are commonalities we've come to recognize. Below, we lay out in schematic form what we take to be the central tasks of sponsorship appropriate to different stages of recovery.
Note: At all stages, prayer for the sponsee, and for illumination as to how to best be of help to him/her, is one of the most important things a sponsor can do.
Stage "Zero" - Qualifying someone to see if they're ready
a) Have the person read the Big Book, gain understanding of the illness and recovery process.
b) Clarify: Does the person want what I have? Are they willing to go to any length to get it? (Watch for and test demonstrations of seriousness, honesty, willingness).
Amount of Contact: Can vary according to need.
Stage One - Getting started
a) Help break through denial, expose the illness (Step One)
b) Set up, reinforce structured disciplines -- for example, phone call times, food-plan (if needed for compulsive eating), meeting attendance. (Such may also happen during qualification.)
c) Establish rapport and atmosphere of honesty.
Amount of Contact: Extensive
Stage Two - Progressing through the steps
a) Guide sponsee through each of Steps Two through Nine.
b) Confront any blocks or stalling (keep them moving).
c) Provide helpful feedback and assignments when needed.
d) Check whether each step is fully taken.
e) Begin and oversee initial Tenth Steps (usually after Step Four).
f) Watch for other forms of obsessive-compulsivity (does the person need to recover from more than one problem?).
g) Encourage God-reliance, not sponsor-reliance.
Amount of Contact: Moderate
Stage Three - Maintaining and extending recovery
a) Help sponsee to sharpen inventory skills (Tenth Step).
b) Continue to encourage spiritual development and God-reliance (Eleventh Step).
c) Encourage carrying the message; oversee the sponsee's initial sponsoring (Twelfth Step).
d) Watch for signs of relapse (resurgence of ego, complacency), or for other forms of obsessive-compulsivity needing step-work.
e) Push the person beyond their "recovery-illness comfort zone.
Amount of Contact: Moderate
Stage Four - Life in recovery
a) Continue to watch for signs of relapse.
b) Be available for feedback during any of the three C's (change, crisis, or confusion).
c) Spiritual mentoring (creatively helping someone deepen their relationship with God).
d) Walk "shoulder to shoulder" to help newcomers and build a recovery fellowship.
Amount of Contact: Less (and finally sponsorship may end entirely to be replaced by the shoulder-to-shoulder relationship).
Sponsorship is a fluid matter. As the sponsee progresses through different stages of recovery, the sponsor takes on different roles. At no time should the sponsor "play God." From the beginning, it should be stressed that s/he cannot recover the other person, and has no magical answers. Nonetheless, there are many ways a sponsor can be of service. Early on, this may involve much direction and confrontation, as the recoveree struggles to get free of the illness. Later on, the sponsor may take a different role; sounding board, reality check, and mentor as the recoveree themselves begins to sponsor.
Each sponsor-sponsee relationship has its unique features. Nonetheless, there are commonalities we've come to recognize. Below, we lay out in schematic form what we take to be the central tasks of sponsorship appropriate to different stages of recovery.
Note: At all stages, prayer for the sponsee, and for illumination as to how to best be of help to him/her, is one of the most important things a sponsor can do.
Stage "Zero" - Qualifying someone to see if they're ready
a) Have the person read the Big Book, gain understanding of the illness and recovery process.
b) Clarify: Does the person want what I have? Are they willing to go to any length to get it? (Watch for and test demonstrations of seriousness, honesty, willingness).
Amount of Contact: Can vary according to need.
Stage One - Getting started
a) Help break through denial, expose the illness (Step One)
b) Set up, reinforce structured disciplines -- for example, phone call times, food-plan (if needed for compulsive eating), meeting attendance. (Such may also happen during qualification.)
c) Establish rapport and atmosphere of honesty.
Amount of Contact: Extensive
Stage Two - Progressing through the steps
a) Guide sponsee through each of Steps Two through Nine.
b) Confront any blocks or stalling (keep them moving).
c) Provide helpful feedback and assignments when needed.
d) Check whether each step is fully taken.
e) Begin and oversee initial Tenth Steps (usually after Step Four).
f) Watch for other forms of obsessive-compulsivity (does the person need to recover from more than one problem?).
g) Encourage God-reliance, not sponsor-reliance.
Amount of Contact: Moderate
Stage Three - Maintaining and extending recovery
a) Help sponsee to sharpen inventory skills (Tenth Step).
b) Continue to encourage spiritual development and God-reliance (Eleventh Step).
c) Encourage carrying the message; oversee the sponsee's initial sponsoring (Twelfth Step).
d) Watch for signs of relapse (resurgence of ego, complacency), or for other forms of obsessive-compulsivity needing step-work.
e) Push the person beyond their "recovery-illness comfort zone.
Amount of Contact: Moderate
Stage Four - Life in recovery
a) Continue to watch for signs of relapse.
b) Be available for feedback during any of the three C's (change, crisis, or confusion).
c) Spiritual mentoring (creatively helping someone deepen their relationship with God).
d) Walk "shoulder to shoulder" to help newcomers and build a recovery fellowship.
Amount of Contact: Less (and finally sponsorship may end entirely to be replaced by the shoulder-to-shoulder relationship).