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bluidkiti
11-06-2013, 12:35 PM
Sponsorship Contract - Example


Some sponsors prefer a written agreement between the Sponsor and the Sponsee.

This contract is a blueprint for establishing the preliminary framework for the Sponsor/ Sponsee relationship.
This contract should clearly set the tone and boundaries by outlining an accountability plan.
It teaches the newcomer how to begin the process of recovery by incorporating some of the tools of recovery, and it aids the sponsor in establishing goals. As part of this commitment, both the Sponsor and Sponsee date and sign it.

Here are some reasons for a written contract:

some people come to the program and, without structure, never start to work the steps or get a sponsor.

some people use the sponsor as a sounding board (they feel some temporary relief and continue to do the same things over and over)

Sometimes you will have to tell someone that they had not yet had enough pain to begin to work the program.

Let him know that you care about him, but that they are wasting your time and his.



Tell him that when he is serious about making the needed changes, you as a sponsor would be there for him.



Tell him that his repeated behavior is like watching someone take a cigarette and continue to burn their bodies, except that the scars were on the inside. It is too painful to watch it happening.



Sponsorship Contract - between the Sponsor and the Sponsee

Sponsor
You can expect from me as your sponsor:
Availability to work on your boundaries, and steps and traditions. We can do this by phone, and/or by meeting in a safe, non-threatening place.

Guidance—not a best buddy

Safety—I will stress your well being and safety. If I think you are placing yourself at risk, I will tell you. If I see pitfalls, I will address them.

I will talk with you in times of goodness and also in times of distress.

Honesty—I will share my own process of recovery as part of the 12th step. (Having had a spiritual awakening as a result

of these steps, we try to carry this message to other addicts, and to practice these principles in all our activities.)
I will not judge or shame you.

I will continue to work on my own program.

Boundaries—I will be clear my communications about limits AND limitations.
Sponsee:
I have several expectations and desired commitments from you as a Sponsee:
Respect my boundaries

Contact me at least ______ times a week for the first six weeks. We will renegotiate then
Call at least ________ other people from the program at least once a day. (This helps expand your network and gets you comfortable with talking with others. This is especially important if you are having a crisis and need to talk during a time I may be unavailable. If you already have some familiarity, you will be more likely to call)
Be truthful ( addiction is thriving on secrecy and lies)
Before becoming involved in a new or old sexual relationship, discuss it with me..
Attend at least a meetings a day, more if you are having difficulty.If you go out of town, get a list of meeting options in advance
Start working the steps. Make the commitment to yourself. Start within the first three weeks
My role is to help you work this program ,half steps =half results
Write about honesty,openmindedness and willingness.I know what they mean,but how can you impress me with your program.
A sponsor helps us work the 12 Steps by providing explanation, guidance and encouragement.
A sponsor helps us get established quickly in our Fellowship by explaining basic concepts and terminology and by introducing us to other members.
A sponsor is a safe person whom we can learn to trust.
A sponsor can answer the many questions that we can have as newcomers or develop as "mid-timers."
A sponsor can help us in the process of self-examination that the Steps require.
A sponsor encourages us to read the basic text of our Fellowship and other program literature and to engage in Fellowship activities and service work.
A sponsor can monitor our progress, confront us when it is appropriate and generally help us stay on the recovery path.
A sponsor confronts our behavior, not our being, and he or she does it with compassion.
A sponsor reminds us to apply 12 Step principles in our lives.
A sponsor models the 12 Step program of recovery.
Our sponsor is available in times of crisis.
A sponsor provides practice in building relationships.
WHAT A SPONSOR DOES NOT DO:

A sponsor cannot keep us in recovery.
A sponsor is not our therapist
A sponsor should not attempt to control our lives or encourage an unhealthy dependence.
A sponsor should not take advantage of us our exploit us in any way.
Sponsor: _____________________ Sponsee: _________________________

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The most important is Step work.
I tell prospective sponsees that if they want me to sponsor them then they will have to work the Steps. If not, then I tell them I cannot sponsor them. And if along the way they discontinue working the Steps, then I can no longer sponsor them.My sponsees work the steps,either old shool style with a dictionary and worksheets,or new age NA style.Often we combine the styles
If sponsees want to do a workbook, which there are plenty of in the recovery scene, they’re welcomed to do that, but I tell them to do the assignments that I hand out. Again, this is a matter of giving away what was given to me.
We also work the traditions,and get involved with a homegroup as well

Cosby
12-04-2013, 02:20 PM
This post is really helpful in helping me establish and maintain an ongoing, fruitful relationship with my sponsor. Thank you. Pease and Blessings, Cosby

MajestyJo
04-27-2014, 03:22 PM
Sounds like setting boundaries, for both parties. My sponsor had to show me how to set them. With my son, I have to keep resetting them and over the years, they needed to give me more space.

Most sponsors I have had in the past have said, they never called their sponsees. Ended up three of them did. I called my sponsees, if I have thought of them 3 times, or I have not heard from them for 3 days, I call. It does not matter if they have relapsed, I just need to show that I care.