Big Book Study

[bluidkiti]

Big Book Study - Post #1

Welcome everyone to the newest cycle of our Big Book Study! We'll be
examining the book very closely throughout the coming weeks. It is
important to note that we will examine this book from the standpoint
of a textbook.

I always like to note at this juncture that the title page has the
following subtitle:

"The Story of How Many Thousands of Men and Women Have Recovered from
Alcoholism"

Yes - Recovered! Now that usually opens a seething couldron of
debate ie: "Recovering" vs. "Recovered". The reason I bring this up
here is it is important to note that lasting recovery--i.e., having
recovered from a hopeless state of mind and body--is the result of
what our book presents. Whether one calls him/herself a recovered or
recovering alcoholic is of no consequence in this study. We will
limit our discussion to the text. That debate rages on at from time
to time at:

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/we_have_recovered

(That is, if you care to get involved in it.)

Turning the page to Roman Numeral v, the Table of Contents, let's
see how the book was laid out. Bill was an educated and intelligent
man. He was taught to avoid repeating himself. However, he knew that
he would have to make the same point repeatedly, but in several
different ways, in order to get the point across. The format of our
book is very much like that of a textbook in this way.

The Doctor's Opinion and Bill's Story identify what the problem is:
Powerlessness, and they cover Step 1. The Doctor's Opinion, written
by Dr. Willam D. Silkworth, the doctor who treated Bill at Towns
Hospital (293 Central Park West at 89th Street in Manhattan) was a
part of the main text in the first edition of the book. It was put
into the Roman Numerals in the second edition on the advice of
literary experts of the time. (And, unfortunately, who reads those
Roman Numerals anyway!?!) The letter he provided was unsigned at the
time of the first edition as well. Dr. Silkworth was concerned about
his medical standing back when the book was being written--the ideas
were so radical at the time that he was concerned about being
ridiculed and ostracized about his ideas on alcoholism.

Chapters 2, 3, and 4 identify The Solution, that we need Power and
cover Step 2.

Chapters 5, 6, and 7 identify the Necessary Actions to find that
Power and go into the detail of Steps 3 thru 12.

With our next post, we will begin on Roman Numeral xi - The Preface to the Third
edition.

Please e-mail any questions to me at jknyc@... or you can
reach Karen at honey_dot_com@.... Please pass it on so that
others may enjoy what you have found!

Jim

[bluidkiti]

Big Book Study - Post #2

Good morning everyone!

Let's turn to page xi, the Preface to the Third Edition, and look at
paragraph #2. This book is identified as "the basic text for our
Society." A basic text is a book which can convey knowledge ? in
other words, a text book.

Turn to page xiii, the Foreword to the First Edition. The first
paragraph is where we want to draw our attention. Bill realized that
there is strength in the collective voice. Hence, "... are more than
one hundred men and women who have recovered..." (There's that word
"recovered" again!) The fact of the matter is that we are more likely
to listen to one hundred than to just a single voice.

"To show other alcoholics PRECISELY HOW WE HAVE RECOVERED is the
main purpose of this book." A powerful statement! Note that the
capitalized words in the sentence above were capitalized in the
first edition of the book. Subsequent editions italicized these
words.

This is where I usually share my story about my Aunt Pat's strawberry
shortcake. It goes something like this:

"My Aunt Pat makes a wonderful strawberry shortcake. I look forward
to it every time I see her out in Newton, New Jersey. After years of
visits I finally asked her for the recipe which she gladly gives to
me. I went home, followed the directions as they were written and
viola! the strawberry shortcake I have always loved!

"Then my ego gets involved. I think a little more sugar in the
whipped cream would improve it. Maybe frozen strawberries. Or let's
use Cool Whip instead of real whipped cream. I make the cake using
my version and it isn't as good, in fact I am disappointed."

The Big Book shows us a specific recipe for sobriety and, if we
follow it carefully, we will get all the benefits of The AA Program.
If we change the recipe we will get something else and we will be
greatly disappointed.

With our next post we will go to page xv - the Foreword to the
Second Edition. Thanks again, and don't forget to pass it on!

And by the way, the Big Book online with page numbers can be found at
http://www.aainsa.org/bigbook/ .

Have a great day!

Jim

http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/bigbookmeeting/message/8372

[bluidkiti]

Big Book Study - Post #3

Good morning everyone, and welcome to those who have just joined us!

Turning to *page xv* and reading through to the end of the foreword to the
second edition, we have a brief history of AA presented. At the top of *page
xvi* the "alcoholic friend" was *Ebby Thacher*, sober two months in the *Oxford
Groups*. The *Oxford Groups* were a fundamentalist Christian movement that
sought to practice the principles of first century Christianity. Vestiges of
this movement survive to this day, although the movement has experienced
many transformations and is no longer called the Oxford Groups or Movement.
*Dr.* *William D. Silkworth* is the physician who introduced Bill to the
allergy theory and the mental obsession of alcoholism.

Bill and Dr. Bob Smith met at *Henrietta Sieberling's* house (of the
Sieberling Rubber and Tire family) through an introduction by *Rev. Walter
Tunks*. When Bill was pacing up and down the hotel lobby of the *Mayflower
Hotel* *in Akron* he was trying to choose between going to the bar and
scraping up an acquaintance or search for an alcoholic to help. Fortunately
for all of us, he looked at the church register. He picked Rev. Tunks' name
because it was an unusual name and he had a thing for unusual names. Turns
out that Rev. Tunks was a member of the Oxford Group in the Akron area and
steered Bill toward Dr. Bob Smith through Henrietta Sieberling.* Dr.
Bob*was also involved with the Oxford Group, though still unable to
stop
drinking. The first time the two of them met they spoke for five hours, and
this after Bob had elicited a promise from his wife *Anne* that the meeting
would last no more than 15 minutes.

*Paragraph 1, page xvii* - AA number three was named *Bill Dotson* - "the
man on the bed". When Bill and Bob approached Bill Dotson in the hospital
they had him moved from the open communal ward to a private room known as
"The Flower Room". The only people who had private rooms in hospitals in
those days were the rich or, in the case of "The Flower Room", the people
about to die. Bill D., being destitute, thought he was dying after being
brought to "The Flower Room", maybe it helped Bill and Bob carry the message
to him.

Keep in mind that the book hasn't been written yet and Bill and Bob would
work through the next couple of years carrying the message. They used the
Oxford Group's *Four Absolutes Absolute Love, Purity, Unselfishness and
Honesty*. Tall order for any alcoholic. It wasn't until the "Drunk Squad" of
the Oxford Groups separated from the Oxford Groups, starting in New York, in
*1937-38* that AA itself became a separate entity. The first meeting to be
called "a meeting of Alcoholics Anonymous" was held in *Cleveland* under the
auspices of *Clarence S.* in *1939*.

More on the foreword to the second edition and the beginning of the Doctor's
Opinion with our next post.

Karen H.

[bluidkiti]

Big Book Study - Post #4

A BIG Thanks! to karen for posting for me - problems with my DSL at home!

Good morning everyone!

We're still on page xvii of the foreword to the second edition. The
book describes two centers of activity around 1936. AA's group
number three was founded in Cleveland, Clarence S. was a major
factor in the success of AA in Cleveland (he started the first group
to use the name "Alcoholics Anonymous"), and by late 1937 there were
40 members sober in this nameless group of drunks. Bill returned to
Akron and, with 18 others, decided to: (1) open a chain of
hospitals, (2) use paid missionaries to spread the word, and (3)
write a book.

Up until this time the society was nameless. In the process of
writing the book and naming it (1938), our Fellowship received its
name. There were several titles being considered for the book: "The
Way Out," "100 Men," "Comes the Dawn," among others. (We could have
been known as "Way Outs" instead of AAs!) They settled
on "Alcoholics Anonymous" and our society took the title of the
book to be the name of our fellowship.

Turning to page xix, paragraph 1, the evolution of the 12 Traditions
is described and confirmed in 1950. At the top of page xx we see the
statistics of success: "Of those alcoholics who came to AA and
really tried 50% got sober at once and remained that way; 25%
sobered up after some relapses...". Can we boast of such numbers
today?

The Doctor's Opinion - page xxiii (page xxv in the 4th Edition) was
originally found on page 1 of the main text in 1939 when the first
edition of the book was published. It was moved to the section
preceding the main section of the text in the second edition because
of comment from literary figures. The patient described in paragraph
2 of the letter is Bill Wilson in November of 1934 at Towns
Hospital. The doctor is William D. Silkworth, "the little doctor who
loved drunks," who treated cocaine addicts and alcoholics.

`````````````````````````````````````````````````` ```````````
"We of Alcoholics Anonymous believe that the reader will be
interested in the medical estimate of the plan of recovery described
in this book. Convincing testimony must surely come from medical men
who have had experience with the sufferings of our members and have
witnessed our return to health. A well known doctor, chief physician
at a nationally prominent hospital specializing in alcoholic and
drug addiction, gave Alcoholics Anonymous this letter:

To Whom It May Concern:
I have specialized in the treatment of alcoholism for many years.

In late 1934 I attended a patient who, though he had been a
competent business man of good earning capacity, was an alcoholic of
a type I had come to regard as hopeless.

In the course of his third treatment he acquired certain ideas
concerning a possible means of recovery. As part of his
rehabilitation he commenced to present his conceptions to other
alcoholics, impressing upon them that they must do likewise with
still others. This has become the basis of a rapidly growing
fellowship of these men and their families. This man and over one
hundred others appear to have recovered.

I personally know scores of cases who were of the type with whom
other methods had failed completely.

These facts appear to be of extreme medical importance; because of
the extraordinary possibilities of rapid growth inherent in this
group they may mark a new epoch in the annals of alcoholism. These
men may well have a remedy for thousands of such situations.

You may rely absolutely on anything they say about themselves.

Very truly yours,

(Signed) - - - - -M.D."
`````````````````````````````````````````````````` ```````````

At the end of the letter on page xxiv, Dr. Silkworth DID NOT SIGN
the letter in the first edition of the book. With our next post
we'll discuss why he didn't sign that letter. Then we'll finish the
Doctor's Opinion.

Jim

[bluidkiti]

Big Book Study - Post #5

Good morning! Welcome back!

While we continue to study the forewords and the Doctor's Opinion,
remember that we are using the 4th Edition. (The page numbering
prior to Chapter 1 differs from edition to edition, since forwords
are added.)

We're at paragraph 1, page xxiv, right after the first letter
written by Dr. Silkworth.

"...the body of the alcoholic is quite as abnormal as his mind."
This was a radical idea for 1935. The primary reason for the lack of
signature by Dr. Silkworth was his reluctance to face his peers with
such radical ideas. It was the Depression era, and Dr. Silkworth was
lucky to have a position. No sense jeopardizing it. Further down, it
is restated: "...any picture of the alcoholic which leaves out this
physical factor is incomplete."

Throughout the book, notice that Bill expressess certain points in
several different ways to reinforce the importance or significance
of that point. He does this with the allergy theory. Having
an "allergy" means that we react abnormally to something. In our
case, we react abnormally to alcohol.

(Some drunks claim to break out in handcuffs when drinking. Other
claim to break out in strange spots ? a strange town, a strange
neighborhood, or jail.)

Dr. Silkworth continues to expand on his ideas on page xxvi.
Paragraph 2 is important here:

"...the action of alcohol on these chronic alcoholics is a
manifestation of an allergy; that the phenomenon of craving is
limited to this class and never occurs in the average temperate
drinker."

We are different than other people. Normal drinkers do not develop
the phenomenon of "craving." We metabolize alcohol in a different
way than the normal drinker. They don't experience the physical
craving which comes after the first drink is taken. They can have
the one or two that we, as a class, cannot. They don't suffer from
the mental obsession that precedes the first drink.

Paragraph 3, at the bottom, is where "...restless, irritable and
discontented" comes from.

Continuing at the top of page xxvii, "the sense of ease and
comfort...drinks they see others taking with impunity" (without
repercussions). Normal drinkers don't have this physical malady;
they can drink "with impunity" and we can't.

The last sentence of the top paragraph gives us an example of what
we will see throughout the book ? what the spiritual awakening is:
"...unless this person can experience an entire psychic change (also
known as a "spiritual awakening") there is very little hope of his
recovery."

Strong words. Over and over we will see that CHANGE is the hallmark
of recovery from alcoholism.

Turn to page xxviii. Silkworth describes five types of alcoholics:

"the psychopaths who are emotionally unstable..."
"There is the type of man who is unwilling to admit that he cannot
take a drink..."
"There is the type who believes that after being entirely free from
alcohol for a period of time he can take a drink without danger."
"There is the manic-depressive type..."
"Then there are types entirely normal in every respect except in the
effect alcohol has upon them."
Here's the important point: "All these, and many others, have one
symptom in common: they cannot start drinking without developing the
phenomenon of craving...the manifestation of an allergy..."

That first drink gets us drunk.

With our next post, we'll start with Chapter 1 - Bill's Story.

Until then think about this: there is only one place in the main
text of the Big Book where the word "pot" appears. No, it isn't the
kind you smoke. What is it's meaning? We'll reveal the meaning with
our next post.

Have a great day!

Jim

[bluidkiti]

Big Book Study - Post #6

Good morning!

First, let's answer the question posted yesterday concerning "Pot"
in the Big Book. Here it is, on the old doggerel--the way Bill
remembered it (an abbreviated version):

"Here lies a Hampshire Grenadier
Who caught his death
Drinking cold small beer.
A good soldier is ne'er forgot
Whether he dieth by musket
Or by pot."

Beer or ale was sold by the "pot" or small cask hundreds of years
ago.

Bill's Story, page 1 - Bill's Story was put into the book as a means
of identifying an example of the disease in action and to outline
the spiritual experience.

Bill was born in East Dorset, Vermont in 1895 and was brought up
primarily by his grandfather. You can visit the Wilson House in East
Dorset and actually stay there. Bill and Lois are buried nearby.

Bill served in World War I. Then, during the Roaring 20's he
discovered Wall Street. The profit he speaks of on page 3 was a
sizable sum in those days. At this point in his story, he still has
no clue of his alcoholism. He begins to have an inkling near the
bottom of page 3:

"My drinking assumed more serious proportions, continuing all day
and almost every night. The remonstrances of my friends terminated
in a row and I became a lone wolf." His friends questioned his
drinking: that's a sin in every alcoholic's book! Who needs them,
right? He began to drink alone.

Bill continued to ride the bull market of the 1920's, but in 1929
the market crashed. He was disgusted by those jumping out of the
windows of high finance. He was better than that -- he would just
get drunk.

In the last paragraph of page 4, Bill is handed an ego puncturing:

"We went to live with my wife's parents." [At 182 Clinton Street in
Brooklyn]. That would crush most egos and Bill had quite an ego when
he made all that money. By now Bill has no illusion. He is a drunk
existing to drink.

By the second half of page 5, Bill has lost all control. He knew he
couldn't "take so much as one drink." He marshaled his willpower and
what happened? He drank again! No effective mental defense against
the first drink. Willpower is no match for the mental obsession to
drink.

At the top of page 7, it is now the summer of 1933. Bill's brother-
in-law is Dr. Leonard Strong. The hospital was Towns Hospital at 293
Central Park West (at 89th Street) on the Upper West Side of
Manhattan. The Belladonna treatment refers to treatment with a drug
derived from the nightshade family of plants and similar in effect
to valium. Hydrotherapy is shower and bath therapy (you do get
a clean alcoholic that way).

Providentially, Bill meets Dr. William D. Silkworth for the first
time. Bill begins to gain an insight into his disease, and a little
self-knowledge.

Did it work? During the summer of 1934, it did not. He got drunk
again and it got even worse. Bill is without hope?powerless. The
miracle is just around the corner?

With our next post we'll start on page 8 with paragraph 1.

Have a great day!

Jim

[bluidkiti]

Big Book Study - Post #7

Good Morning everyone!

We're at the top of page 8, paragraph 1:

"No words can tell of the loneliness and despair I found in that
bitter morass of self-pity. Quicksand stretches around me in all
directions. I had met my match. I had been overwhelmed. Alcohol was
my master."

That sounds like someone who has been defeated (Step 1). Bill leaves
the hospital in September and stays dry until the beginning of
November of 1934.

Armistice Day rolls around -- November 11, 1934. Bill took a bus to
go golfing on Staten Island (see "AA Comes of Age," page 56). The bus
he was riding on was involved in a fender-bender. Being the kind of
guy Bill was, he and a new acquaintance left the bus to wait for the
next one. Bill had already told his drinking experiences to this
fellow: the allergy, his newly-found knowledge, etc.

They got on the next bus, and then disembarked at a country tavern
near the golf course. His friend suggested a sandwich, so in they
went.

Since it was Armistice Day, the bartender bought a round for the
house. Bill threw back a drink without hesitation -- no effective
mental defense whatsoever.

His new friend was mortified! "Are you crazy?!" he asked Bill in
astonishment.

Bill answered, "Yes, I am."

Bill stayed drunk for another month after that escapade.

A couple of weeks later, Ebby Thacher, a boyhood friend, came to
visit. Ebby's father was the mayor of Albany.

Ebby was a true drunk and was always in some scrape or another. He
had been in trouble in Vermont.

Turns out Ebby had been painting a barn. (Honestly?how much trouble
can someone get in painting a barn?) He was drunk and had just
finished one side when a group of pigeons flew in and perched on top
of the barn. The pigeons began to crap on the side of the barn, which
infuriated Ebby. He got a shotgun and started firing away at the
pigeons. The incident ended when Ebby got arrested.

Two men appeared at Ebby's hearing -- Roland Hazzard and Cebra
Graves, who were members of the Oxford Group, a Christian religious
group that sought to practice 1st Century Christianity. They appeared
in court to prevent Ebby's commitment to a mental hospital (which is
what they did to drunks in those days). They brought Ebby to the
Oxford Group's NY headquarters at the Calvary Mission in Manhattan,
where he got sober. (We're at the bottom of page 9.)

Ebby had been sober since September when he came to visit his friend
Bill. In the last full paragraph of page 9:

"They told him of a simple religious idea [Step 2] and a practical
program of action [in essence: Steps 3 thru 12]." Bill was
already "...hopeless" (top of page 10).

Page 11, paragraph 3: "But my friend sat before me, and he made the
point-blank declaration that God had done for him what he could not
do for himself. ...He had admitted complete defeat." [Ebby had Step
1.]

Bill also has Step 1, and was beginning on Step 2 but there was a
sticking point. Turn to page 12, paragraph 2:

"My friend suggested what seemed a novel idea. He said, "Why don't
you choose your own conception of God?" This is the spiritual (rather
than religious) message. This is the root of Step 3's "...as we
understood Him." This is the great turning point. It is important to
note that this was NOT the Oxford Group message. They had a very
definite idea of a Christian God that they preached about.

In the next 2 paragraphs, Bill is able to take what would become Step
2. In paragraph 5, he begins to describe a spiritual structure that
will be built throughout the remainder of the book:

"Upon a foundation of complete willingness I might build what I saw
in my friend." In several places in the book, he will refer to this
spiritual structure, painting a mental picture of recovery.

With our next post we will begin at the top of Page 13 - the last
drink for Bill.

Have a great day!

Jim

[bluidkiti]

Big Book Study - Post #8

Good morning everyone!

We're at the top of page 13 -

Bill went again to Towns Hospital to be separated from alcohol for the last
time. This is at the beginning of December 1934; he had stayed drunk for a month
after Armistice Day.

Bill's sobriety dates from December 11, 1934.

Paragraph 2 describes Steps 3, 4, 6 & 7:

"There I humbly offered myself to God, as I then I understood Him, to do with me
as He would. I placed myself unreservedly under His care and direction (3). I
admitted for the first time that of myself I was nothing; that without Him I was
lost. I ruthlessly faced my sins (4) and became willing to have my new-found
Friend take them away, root and branch (6, 7). I have not had a drink since."

The first sentance of paragraph 3 describes Step 5, and the remainder of
paragraph 3 describes Steps 8 and 9, (also known as "restitution" by the Oxford
Groups):

"My schoolmate [Ebby Thacher] visited me, and I fully acquainted him with my
problems and deficiencies (5). We made a list of people I had hurt or toward
whom I felt resentment (8). I expressed my entire willingness to approach these
individuals, admitting my wrong. Never was I to be critical of them. I was to
right all such matters to the utmost of my ability (9)." [Remember this sentence
when we talk about amends in Chapter 6.]

Paragraph 4 - The first sentance describes Step 10 and the remainder of the
paragraph goes into Step 11. The last paragraph on this page discusses the first
part of Step 12:

"My friend promised that when these things were done, [not by osmosis I would
guess], I would enter upon a new relationship with my Creator; that I would have
the elements of a way of living which has answered all my problems." That sounds
like a Spiritual Awakening, doesn't it?

But don't we want all our problems solved first? It is through that spiritual
awakening that they are solved.

Page 14 - Bill's "White Light Experience" in found in paragraph 2. One of the
reasons that Appendix II -"Spiritual Experience" was added to the book was that
many people were confused; they thought that they had to have the same type of
sudden transformation that Bill had.

The concept of "carrying the message" was born with Bill while lying in that bed
in Towns Hospital (see paragraph 5). The last part of Step 12 is described in
the following paragraph continuing to the top of page 15:

"My friend [Ebby Thacher] had emphasized the absolute necessity of demonstrating
these principles in all my affairs." A bit of step 12 here! For us, that means
not just in the rooms of AA, but everywhere.

Going on to paragraph 1 on page 15, Bill describes the dangers
of "...self-pity and resentment. This sometimes nearly drove me back to drink,
but I soon found that when all other measures failed, work with another
alcoholic would save the day." Perhaps there is something to this "carrying the
message" stuff after all!

Bill went on to work with drunks and barely earning a living. Not only was he
not making any money, he also had no success in sobering up drunks. Lois was
working at Macy's. Ebby moved from Rev. Sam Shoemaker's Calvary Church mission
and in with Bill and Lois at 182 Clinton St. in Brooklyn at this time.

It wasn't until May, 1935 (six months later) that Bill had any success at all --
he carried the message to Doctor Bob Smith -- aside from staying sober himself.
More details are available in "AA Comes of Age," pages 52-77, which tells Bill's
story in greater detail; how he met Bob, how they helped Bill Dotson (AA number
3) get sober, and the early days of what was to become AA.

With our next post we will begin Chapter 2 on Page 17: "There is a Solution."

Have a great day!

Jim

[bluidkiti]

Big Book Study - Post #9

Good Morning!

We're on page 17 - Chapter 2 - "There is a Solution."

One of the literary devices that Bill employs on this page relates to
events that are familiar to the reader. Remember that the book was
published in 1939 when the Titanic was still a relatively recent
memory for many.

"We are like the passengers of a great liner the moment after rescue
from shipwreck when camaraderie, joyousness and democracy pervade the
vessel from steerage to Captain's table. Unlike the feelings of the
ship's passengers, however, our joy in escape from disaster does not
subside as we go our individual ways."

"Steerage" was the bottom of the ship - the cheap seats -
accommodations for lower-class passengers. Of course, the elite
gathered by invitation only at the glamorous "Captain's table." The
two extremes would never mix with one another. But to those who were
miraculously rescued from the icy, terrifying ocean, these
differences became nothing more than unimportant details.

Now here's the message -- the WARNING -- that Bill and the first one
hundred wanted to pass on: "But that in itself would never have held
us together as we are now joined."

So, what is it that binds us together? Look at the following
paragraph:

"...we have discovered a common solution [a spiritual awakening
through the 12 Steps]. We have a way out on which we can absolutely
agree, upon which we can join in brotherly and harmonious action."

It is The AA Program of action that binds us together.

Page 20, paragraph 1:

"Doubtless you are curious to discover how and why, in the face of
expert opinion to the contrary, we have recovered from a seemingly
hopeless state of mind and body."

The top of the next paragraph is the answer:

"It is the purpose of this book to answer such questions
specifically."

In other words, we should be using this book as a text book or set of
directions for in these pages we will be shown how to get, and stay,
sober.

The following four paragraphs go on to describe the misconceptions of
alcoholism held by the public at large and to describe people who
have drinking problems but who are not real alcoholics: moderate
drinkers and certain types of hard drinkers.

Page 21: "The real alcoholic" - In paragraph 1, Bill discusses the
craving and lack of control that the real alcoholic develops. This
repeats ideas presented in "The Doctor's Opinion."

Turn to page 22, paragraph 2 - Here the powerlessness and insanity of
alcoholism
is defined.

"What has become of the common sense and will power that he still
sometimes displays with respect to other matters?"

In short, the human will is not operative. We drink, continuing to
expect different results. Alcoholics do not have the power of
choice ?
common sense and willpower are useless.

What is it that causes alcoholics to drink when they don't want to?
Broken shoelace? Not enough meetings? Page 23, paragraph 1 -

"These observations would be academic and pointless if our friend
never took the first drink, thereby setting the terrible cycle in
motion. Therefore, the main problem of the alcoholic centers in the
mind rather than in his body."

It is our struggle with the mental obsession that we will lose that
causes us to drink; the circumstances themselves matter little.

Turning to page 24, we have italicized writing, used sparsely in the
book, always used to emphasize a point ?

"The fact is that most alcoholics, for reasons yet obscure, have lost
the power of choice in drink. Our so-called will power becomes
practically nonexistent. We are unable, at certain times, to bring
into our consciousness with sufficient force the memory of the
suffering and humiliation of even a week or a month ago. We are
without defense against the first drink."

The following paragraph - "There is the complete failure of the kind
of defense that keeps one from putting his hand on a hot stove."

Let's pause here to consider this: How many times has this point, the
lack of common sense regarding alcohol or the lack of defense against
the first drink, been made?

We must also note that in the last paragraph on page 24 we are told
that the alcoholic "...has probably placed himself beyond human
aid... ." Is fellowship enough? Going to meetings morning, noon, and
night? Talking to a sponsor everyday? Daily telphone calls?

Here's our situation: The mental obsession to drink is relentless;
human power is ineffective against it. What will help us to overcome
this obsession and prevent us from picking up the first drink?

More with our next post!

Jim

[bluidkiti]

Big Book Study - Post #10

Good morning!

Turning our books to Page 25, lets look at paragraph 2:

"The great fact is just this, and nothing less: That we have had
deep and effective spiritual experiences* which have revolutionized
(changed) our whole attitude toward life, toward our fellows and
toward God's universe. The central fact of our lives today is the
absolute certainty that our Creator has entered into our hearts and
lives in a way which is indeed miraculous. He has commenced to
accomplish those things for us which we could never do by
ourselves."

This is the solution and this is what the solution has done - we
have changed our entire outlook. The asterisk (*) refers us to
Appendix II which was added to the book after the first printing of
the first edition to clarify the spiritual experience.

The text goes on - paragraph 2: "If you are as seriously alcoholic
as we were, we believe that there is no middle of the road solution."

Let's review for a minute: "no middle of the road solution" - we
aren't doing this thing "cafeteria style" or taking what we like and
leaving the rest.

"We were in a position where life was becoming impossible, and if we
had passed into the region from which there is no return through
human aid, we had but two alternatives: One was to go on to the
bitter end, blotting out the consciousness of our intolerable
situation as best we could; and the other, to accept spiritual help.
This we did because we honestly wanted to, and were willing to make
the effort."

We're given two choices: Keep drinking or accept spiritual help. So,
will meetings everyday suffice? Therapy? Calling a sponsor everyday?
Daily exercise? Yoga? Probably not.

Page 26 paragraph 1: The certain American business man was Roland
Hazard. He worked with Dr. Carl Jung for an entire year.

It's interesting to note that Carl Jung was Roland's third choice -
Sigmund Freud (a one time cocaine proponent) was too busy and Alfred
Adler was too sick to work with him.

Jung tells him he is hopeless, (paragraph 3), but the doctor also
knows what he needs (paragraph 3 on page 27):

"...here and there, once in a while, alcoholics have had what are
called vital spiritual experiences... They appear to be in the
nature of huge emotional displacements and rearrangements (change).
Ideas, emotions, and attitudes which were once the guiding forces of
the lives of these men were suddenly cast to one side, and a
completely new set of conceptions and motives begin to dominate
them."

Another description of the spiritual awakening from Dr. Carl Jung
with "change" being the overall theme.

So, this chapter was aptly named "There is a Solution" and it has
been hammered home to us that the solution is CHANGE. That change is
the spiritual awakening. Go to the top of page 60 for a minute:

"12. Having had a spiritual awakening as THE result of these steps,
we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these
principles in all our affairs." (Emphasis is mine.)

The solution is a spiritual awakening (see Chapter 2), the result of
these steps is a spiritual awakening (Step 12), so the steps are the
solution! It's simple, it really is.

With our next post, we will begin with Chapter 3 "More About
Alcoholism" on page 30 -- the chapter I rely on heavily to define
powerlessness and unmanageability.

Have a great day!

Jim

[bluidkiti]

Big Book Study - Post #11

Good morning all!

We're at Page 30 - Chapter 3, "More (Truth) About Alcoholism". This
is where we will discuss--in depth--the state of mind that preceeds
the first drink.

Let's take the time to examine what "insanity" means in this
context: less than whole; not necessarily crazy, but rather an
inability to see the truth in life. "Sanity" on the other hand means
with a complete or whole mind -- an ability to see the truth in life.

"No person likes to think that he is bodily or mentally different
from his fellows." This is a truth most of us had been unwilling to
accept. Now here is the real insanity: "The idea that somehow,
someday he will control and enjoy his drinking is the great
obsession of every abnormal drinker." This is the great lie that we
pursue; this is the mental obsession. To accomplish this we try a
myriad of different formulas with the same result. An inability to
see the truth in life? - you bet! "The persistence of this illusion
(untruth) is astonishing. Many pursue it into the gates of insanity
or death."

Next paragraph - "The delusion (untruth) that we are like other
people, or presently may be, has to be smashed." Non-alcoholics
don't break out in handcuffs when they drink. They are able to
metabolize alcohol where the alcoholic can't.

On pages 32 to 43, four examples of the state of mind that preceeds
the first drink will be illustrated. Bill's writing style is one
where the same point will be made repeatedly to reinforce that
idea. It is important to note that he is spending an entire chapter
on Step 2's insanity. It is very important that we understand the
state of mind that precedes the first drink - the insanity of
alcoholism.

Paragraph 2, page 32 - Example #1 is "A Man of Thirty." The points
Bill brings up are these: "Once he started he had no control
whatever." Using will power he quit but here was the insane
idea: "Then he fell victim to the belief which practically every
alcoholic has - that his long period of sobriety and self-discipline
had qualified him to drink as other men." This man was dead by
the next paragraph.

At paragraph 1 on page 33 Bill utilizes his other literary device -
he summarizes: (this is the "Pickle theory") ...once an alcoholic,
always an alcoholic. "Commencing to drink after a period of
sobriety, we are in a short time as bad as ever. If we are planning
to stop drinking, there must be no reservation of any kind, nor any
lurking notion that someday we will be immune to alcohol." You can
make a pickle out of a cucumber but the process cannot be reversed.

Page 34, paragraph 2 - Here is the paragraph which discusses the
efficacy of using willpower to stop drinking. The cunning, baffling
and powerful nature of our disease usually torpedoes any effort
based on willpower.

In our next post, we will start out with the second of the four
examples "Jim the Car Salesman" and we'll begin on page 35 -
paragraph 2.

Have a great day!

Jim

[bluidkiti]

Big Book Study - Post #12

Good Morning all!

I'll be posting the book studies while Jim is away on vacation.

Paragraph 2 - Page 35: *"Jim the car salesman"* is example number 2 of
alcoholic insanity. Reading through paragraph 3 on this page: "We told him
what we knew of alcoholism and the answer we had found. He made a
beginning."

"Making a beginning" means he had completed the first three steps. "His
family was re-assembled, and he began to work as a salesman for the business
he had lost through drinking."

There is a situation ripe for a resentment. "All went well for a time, but
he failed to enlarge on his spiritual life." He didn't continue on with the
rest of the program - Steps 4-12. He got drunk again, and here's how, as
recorded on Page 36 paragraph 1:

"I remember I felt irritated (resentful) that I had to be a salesman for a
concern I once owned. I had a few words with the boss..." (expressing his
resentment no doubt!) He continues in this paragraph to be sane, but watch
out!

Next paragraph - all italics. The insane thought: "SUDDENLY THE THOUGHT
CROSSED MY MIND THAT IF I WERE TO PUT AN OUNCE OF WHISKEY IN MY MILK IT
COULDN'T HURT ME ON A FULL STOMACH."

The insane idea was followed by action. Paragraph 4: "Thus started one more
journey to the asylum (treatment center) for Jim... HE HAD MUCH KNOWLEDGE
ABOUT HIMSELF AS AN ALCOHOLIC (which did him no good whatsoever). YET ALL
REASONS FOR NOT DRINKING WERE EASILY PUSHED ASIDE IN FAVOR OF THE
FOOLISH(insane) IDEA
THAT HE COULD TAKE WHISKEY IF ONLY HE MIXED IT WITH MILK!"

Page 37: "Whatever the precise definition of the word may be, we call this
plain insanity. How can such a lack of proportion, of the ability to think
straight, be called anything else?"

This is where the Big Book defines the "insanity" of Step 2 as the *state of
mind that precedes the first drink.
*
Our next example starts at the bottom of page 37, paragraph 4: *"The
Jaywalker."* Read it through to the end of the second paragraph on the
following page. Although it seems ridiculous it is a fine example of our
state of mind.

Our last example is *"Fred the Accountant".* Go to page 39, paragraph 2. At
the bottom of the page: "Fred would not believe himself an alcoholic, (Step
1) much less accept a spiritual remedy (Step 2) for his problem."

Reading through to the end of this paragraph at the top of page 40 it is
clear that he also believes in self-knowledge. He tells what happened
beginning at paragraph 3 on page 40. Almost immediately he is wrestling with
the mental obsession.

Page 41, paragraph 1 - Here is the insane idea: "I went to my hotel room and
leisurely dressed for dinner. AS I CROSSED THE THRESHOLD OF THE DINING ROOM,
THE THOUGHT CAME TO MIND THAT IT WOULD BE NICE TO HAVE A COUPLE OF COCKTAILS
WITH DINNER (and return to the mental hospital). THAT WAS ALL. NOTHING
MORE."

Next paragraph "...I HAD MADE NO FIGHT WHATEVER AGAINST THE FIRST DRINK." Self
knowledge fails again. He clearly demonstrates that we have no effective
mental defense against the first drink.

Bill's summary, last paragraph on page 43: "Once more: The alcoholic at
certain times has no effective mental defense against the first drink.
Except in rare cases, neither he nor any other human being can provide such
a defense. His defense must come from a Higher Power."

This is a very important point. This means that we can have all the self
knowledge we can get but still drink. It also means that human power, our
own or others (i.e., the fellowship), will not help us. Finding God will.

With our next post we start my favorite chapter in the Big Book: Chapter
4, "We Agnostics" on page 44.

Have a great day!

Karen H.

[bluidkiti]

Big Book Study - Post #13

Good Morning and welcome back!

Today we are at *Chapter 4 - We Agnostics, Page 44*.

We should start by defining some terms. *"Agnostic"* is comprised of two
parts: "A" which is the Greek prefix for "Without" and "gnostic" which is
"Knowledge." With this in mind our definition of "Agnostic" is: *Without
Knowledge of God.*

Although used interchangeably, "agnostic" and "atheist" mean two very
different things. To be *"Atheist"* is to *claim that there is no God*, as
opposed to being without knowledge of God (agnostic).

How many times have we seen lists of questions that will allow you to
diagnose your own alcoholism? Ten, twenty, fifty question each? Starting at
paragraph 1 on page 44, we find that there are two questions:

Question 1: "If, when you honestly want to, you find you cannot quit
entirely, or

Question 2: "if when drinking, you have little control over the amount you
take, you are probably alcoholic."

Reading through to the top of page 45 several powerful statements are made:

"Our human resources, as marshaled by the will, were not sufficient; they
failed utterly."

What does that mean? What does that tell us about willpower? About human
resources (fellowship) alone? About our ability to win in hand to hand
combat with the alcoholic obsession?

At the top of paragraph 1: "Lack of power, that was our
dilemma(powerlessness). We
had to find a power by which we could live, and it had to be a POWER GREATER
THAN OURSELVES. Obviously. But where and how were we to find this Power?"

Now we come to the purpose of the Big Book and the desired result of the AA
program:

"Well, that's exactly what this book is about. Its main object [and the
object of the AA Program] is to enable you to find a Power greater than
yourself WHICH WILL SOLVE YOUR PROBLEM."

Let's turn back for a second to the foreword to the first edition. The
second sentence says the following:

"TO SHOW OTHER ALCOHOLICS PRECISELY HOW WE HAVE RECOVERED IS THE MAIN
PURPOSE OF THIS BOOK." (This sentence was written in ALL CAPS in the first
edition of the book).

To recover from alcoholism, we need to find a Power greater than ourselves
which will solve our problem. This book has all of the directions necessary
to bring about permanent recovery from alcoholism, which is our common
problem. The answers are within the text and throughout the coming weeks we
will continue to delve into the solution.

One of the things I was thinking about regarding this chapter is the name
"We Agnostics", not "The Agnostics." I mean, it's almost if they assumed
that everyone was an agnostic. Anyone care to explore why they named this
chapter the way they did?

With our next post we will continue on Page 46. Have a great day!

With love,
Karen H.

[bluidkiti]

Big Book Study - Post #14

Good morning everyone!

***Here's a good exercise for Chapter 4. Read through and count how many
times the word "prejudice" in it's various forms appears. Also count
synonyms such as "preconceived ideas" etc. You'll be surprised to see how
often we are asked to lay aside prejudice against spiritual concepts in this
chapter.***

We are at *page 46.* The first full paragraph here speaks of
open-mindedness: "Yes, we of agnostic temperament have had these thoughts
and experiences. Let us make haste to reassure you. We found that as soon as
we were able to lay aside prejudice and express even a *willingness* to
believe in a Power greater than ourselves, we commenced to get results, even
though it was impossible for any of us to fully define or comprehend that
Power, which is God."

Reading through to the top of *page 47,* we see the important idea expressed
again:

"When, therefore, we speak to you of God, we mean *your own* conception of
God. This applies, too, to other spiritual expressions which you find in
this book. Do not let any prejudice you may have against spiritual terms
deter you from honestly asking yourself what they mean to you. At the start,
*this was all we needed* to commence spiritual growth, to effect our first
conscious relation with God as we understood Him. Afterward, we found
ourselves accepting many things which then seemed entirely out of reach.
That was growth, but if we wished to grow *we had to begin somewhere*. So we
used our own conception, however limited it was."

In paragraph 2, we find another reference to the spiritual structure we are
building:

"It has been repeatedly proven among us that upon *this simple
cornerstone*a wonderfully effective spiritual structure can be built."

The "*cornerstone" is* *belief*, and on page 12 we found that *"complete
willingness"* *is our foundation*. All that is important will rest on the
foundation and the entire structure is squared up from this cornerstone.
More elements of this spiritual structure will be revealed throughout the
text.

In the following paragraph we see that belief comes before faith: "That was
great news to us, for we had assumed we could not make use of spiritual
principles unless we accepted many things on faith (indicating knowledge) which
seemed difficult to believe."

So we begin with a belief, and it is through the knowledge that supports
this belief that we begin to have faith.

With love,
Karen H.

[bluidkiti]

Big Book Study - Post #15

Good Morning Everyone!

Appendix II - "The Spiritual Experience" is found on page 567.

"The terms "spiritual experience" and "spiritual awakening" are used many
times in this book which, upon careful reading, shows that the personality
change sufficient to bring about recovery from alcoholism has manifested
itself among us in many different forms.

"Yet it is true that our first printing gave many readers the impression
that these personality changes, or religious experiences, must be in the
nature of sudden and spectacular upheavals. Happily for everyone, this
conclusion is erroneous."

This appendix was added after the first printing of the first edition of the
book. There was significant confusion regarding the transformation that Bill
experienced and the rest of the main text of the book. This appendix was
added to clear some of the confusion. Alot of people were expecting the
"white light experience" of the nature of what Bill had on December 11, 1934
at Towns Hospital. Here it goes on to explain that the "educational variety"
was no less important or vital.

The real gems here are the reinforcement of "change" as the central theme of
the experience. The following four terms mean essentially the same thing:

-Spiritual Experience
-Spiritual Awakening
-Personality Change
-Psychic Change

What we'll do here is identify how many times "change" or a synonym of
"change" appears in the text, it may surprise you!

-Paragraph 1 - "personality change..."

-Paragraph 2 - "personality changes..., spectacular upheavals."

-Paragraph 3 - "revolutionary changes..., immediate and overwhelming
'God-consciousness'..., a vast change in feeling and outlook."

-Paragraph 4 - "transformations,... the difference...a profound alteration
in his reaction to life."

So, let's see, that's eight "changes" on a single page. I guess they have
made a point - the people we bring to AA must change. Not drinking and going
to meetings is not enough. Through the 12 Steps we have the transformation,
in the guise of a spiritual awakening or experience or psychic change, etc.,
that is "...THE result of these steps..." (from Step 12, emphasis added).

With our next post we'll go further - Chapter 5 - How It Works (Not "how it
happens" or "how we get it through osmosis").

With love,
Karen H.

[bluidkiti]

# 16

Good Morning!

We can gain some insight into the writing of the book through an examination
of the original text *(pre-publication "Multilith")* in conjunction with the
text as printed in the first edition.

Keep in mind, there were more or less two camps within AA at the time Bill
wrote the book. The *Akron/Cleveland* camp was Bible based and religious in
nature; the* New York*bunch was more psychological using a mental approach
to gain the confidence of the newcomer and then hitting him with the
spiritual angle. Sounds like a difficult task to write a book that would
satisfy both trains of thought.

Most of the changes involved *inserting "we" for "you"* and making the text
more inclusive and less like a sermon. Other changes involved *key words* that
were inserted to change the basic meaning of the phrases.

Today and in our next post, we will go through the first three pages
of *Chapter
5* to illustrate how the book was transformed by these changes. The words
that were replaced will appear in *[brackets]* following the words or
phrases by which they were replaced.

*Page 58:
*
*Paragraph 1* - "Rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly
followed our path*[directions]*."

"They are naturally incapable of grasping and developing a manner of living
*[way of life]*which demands rigorous honesty."

*Paragraph 2* - "If you have decided you want what we have and are willing
to go to any length to get it - then you are ready to take certain
steps *[follow
directions]*."

*Paragraph 3* - "At some of these we balked *[you may balk]*. We thought *[You
may think]* we could find an easier, softer way. But we could not *[We doubt
you can]*."

*Paragraph 4* - "Remember we deal *[you are dealing]* with alcohol -
cunning, baffling, powerful! Without help it is too much for us *[you]*. But
there is One who has all power - that One is God. May you *[You must]* find
Him now!"

We'll continue with paragraph 1 on page 59 and into the original written
text of the 12 Steps with our next post.

Have a great day!

With Love,
Karen H.

[bluidkiti]

Big Book Study - Post #17

Good Morning everyone!

Beginning on *Page 59, paragraph 1*, we'll continue to examine the text as
originally written to see the changes made before the first edition of the
book was published. The original, pre-publication version is known as the
"Multilith."

"Half measures availed us (will avail you) nothing. We stood at the turning
point. We asked for (Throw yourself to) His protection and care with
complete abandon. (Now we think you can take it)."

"Here are the steps we took, which are suggested as a (your) program of
recovery:"

1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol - that our lives had become
unmanageable. [Unchanged - this step came from Dr. Silkworth.]

2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to
sanity. [From Dr. Carl Jung.]

3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as
we understood Him. [Essentially our "will" is our thoughts, our thinking.
For example, when making out a will we are putting our thoughts down to be
expressed after we pass on. Our "lives" are comprised of our actions. We are
making a decision to turn our thoughts and our actions over to the care of
God. This step came from the Oxford Group's "Surrender".]

4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.

5. Admitted to God, to ourselves and another human being the exact nature of
our wrongs. [Steps 4 and 5 are unchanged and came from the Oxford Group's
"Confess your sins."]

6. Were entirely ready to have (willing that) God remove these defects of
character.

7. Humbly (, on our knees,) asked Him to remove our shortcomings (holding
nothing back). [Steps 6 and 7 were inserted as a means of closing any
loopholes.]

8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make
(complete)
amends to them all.

9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so
would injure them or others. [Unchanged - Steps 8 and 9 came from the Oxford
Group's "Restitution."]

10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly
admitted it. [Unchanged.]

11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact
with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us
and the power to carry that out. [The words "conscious" and "as we
understood Him" were omitted in the original draft.]

12. Having had a spiritual awakening (experience) as the result of these
steps (this course of action), we tried to carry this message to (others,
especially) alcoholics and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

In our next post we'll continue with the first paragraph on *page 60* and
begin to delve into Step 3.

Something to think about: the word "suggested" has been twisted around to
make it sound like the steps are optional. Why do you think that word was
inserted into the text?

Have a good day!
Karen H.

[bluidkiti]

Big Book Study - Post #18

Good Morning, everyone!

*Paragraph 2 on* *page 60* - original text in (parenthesis) and my editorial
notes in [brackets]:* *

"Our description of the alcoholic, [found in the Doctor's Opinion and
Chapter 3 - More About Alcoholism] the chapter to the agnostic, [Chapter 4 -
We Agnostics] and our personal adventures before and after" [Chapter 1 -
Bill's Story] make clear (are designed to sell you) three pertinent ideas:

(a) That we were alcoholic and could not manage our own lives. [This is Step
1.]

(b) That probably no human power could have relieved our alcoholism. [This
is the first half of Step 2.]

(c) That God could and would (can and will) if He were sought. [Step 2,
second half.]"

At this point we have completed Steps 1 and 2. Notice how we go directly
into Step 3 here in *paragraph 3*: "Being convinced, we were at Step Three,
which is that we decided [remember that our decisions must be followed up
with action in order to make them meaningful - Step 4 is the action] to turn
our will [our thoughts] and our lives [our actions] over to God as we
understood Him."

*Paragraph 4 -* "The first requirement is that we be convinced that any life
run on self-will can hardly be a success." In the preceding chapters we see
that self-will has little effect regarding our drinking. Now we examine how
that is true regarding our lives as a whole.

Read through to *page 62 paragraph 1*:

"Selfishness - Self-centeredness! That, we think, is the root of our
troubles." This is an important point. Our troubles weren't the product of a
poor upbringing, horrible parents, being the member of ____ (fill in the
blank with any subset of society). We had a difficult time of it due
to "Selfishness
- Self-centeredness." "...we have made decisions based on self which later
placed us in a position to be hurt." We have discovered that WE are usually
the reason for the suffering we have had to experience. We were not the
unwitting "victims" of life that we frequently portrayed ourselves to be. I
was astonished when this was pointed out to me.

*Next paragraph -* "So our troubles, we think, are basically of our own
making. "...we alcoholics must be rid of this selfishness. We must, or it
kills us!" So, it isn't always booze that kills us - selfishness will kill
us indirectly. Throughout the book we will discover that bottles are only a
symbol, that our problem runs deeper than the drinking itself.

Tomorrow, we will pick up with the end of page 62 and touch upon that
spiritual structure that we have been building.

With love,
Karen H.

[bluidkiti]

Big Book Study - Post #19

'Morning everyone :)

We are on page 62, Paragraph 3. Here we find out the position that
God will occupy in our lives: "This is the how and the why of it.
First of all, we had to quit playing God. It didn't work. Next, we
decided that hereafter in this drama of life, God was going to be
our Director. He is the Principal; we are His agents." As His agents
we are to express His will for us - not our own. Not the "bush
league pinch hitter" we usually used Him as.

Here's the reference to the spiritual structure: "Most good ideas
are simple, and this concept was the keystone of the new and
triumphant arch through which we passed to freedom." Earlier we
talked about "Willingness" as the Foundation, "Belief" as the
Cornerstone and now the Keystone is allowing God to be our Director.
A stone mason will tell you that the entire structure of a stone
arch rests upon that Keystone. This is an element that allows the
structure to exist without which we would have a pile of stones. An
arch is the strongest architectural and structural element known to
man. This underscores the importance of where God fits into our
lives.

Most of us our familiar with "The Promises" on page 84 and 85. What
many of us don't realize is that there are promises throughout the
book. Let's go to paragraph 1 on page 63. Read it through... sounds
like promises to me – all these things will come to pass for us if
we proceed to Step 3. "When we sincerely took such a position, all
sorts of remarkable things followed. We had a new Employer. Being
all powerful, He provided what we needed, if we kept close to Him
and performed His work well. Established on such a footing we became
less and less interested in ourselves, our own little plans and
designs. More and more we became interested in seeing what we could
contribute to life. As we felt new power flow in, as we enjoyed
peace of mind, as we discovered we could face life successfully, as
we became conscious of His presence, we began to lose our fear of
today, tomorrow or the hereafter. We were reborn." It's all great
stuff!

Paragraph 3 is the Third Step Prayer:

"God, I offer myself to Thee – to build with me and to do with me as
Thou wilt. Relieve me of the bondage of self, that I may better do
Thy will. Take away my difficulties, that victory over them may bear
witness to those I would help of Thy Power, Thy Love, and Thy Way of
life. May I do Thy will always!"

Reading through this prayer we can see things about Step 3 that may
not have been apparent before. We begin to see that we have made a
decision and have become open to having a Power greater than
ourselves in our lives. We are asking to be relieved of the bondage
of self, not the bondage of alcohol. This relates to what we believe
to be the root of our problem: "Selfishness – Self Centeredness...,"
remember? At this stage, however, we have only made a decision. For
that decision to become vital, we must take action.

I "made a decision" to take a new job offered to me, but until I
negotiate my new salary, my benefits, sign the offer letter and
report for work it is just a decision. The actions that follow this
decision are what make the decision vital.

With our next post we will begin at the very bottom of page 63 and
the beginning of a detailed discussion of Step 4 as it is detailed in
the Big Book.

Have a great day!

Jim

[bluidkiti]

Big Book Study - Post #20

Good morning!

We are at the bottom of page 63, last paragraph:

"Next we launched out on a course of vigorous action, the first step
of which is a personal housecleaning which many of us had never
attempted. Though our decision [Step 3] was a vital and crucial
step, it could have no permanent effect unless at once followed by a
strenuous effort to face, and to be rid of, the things which had
been blocking us. Our liquor was but a symptom. So we had to get
down to causes and conditions."

So, we don't wait a year to move from Step 3 to Step 4. That is the
meaning of "next," right? Remember, our decision is of little value
unless it is accompanied by action -- vigorous action.

What is the purpose of Step 4? In this step we will identify and get
rid of those things that had been blocking us. From what? Blocking
us from God's grace and our ability to live happy, joyous, and free.

Here again is where many people get tripped up. Step 4 - Made a
searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves. First, let's
examine the word "fearless". Bill was, at heart, a businessman. He
wrote from a businessman's perspective in this case. When conducting
an inventory for a grocery store, for example, we look to be rid of
damaged, rotten, and unsalable goods that prevent us from being
profitable. From a businessman's perspective "fearless" means without
regret, without emotion. When we discard a rotten head of cabbage we
have no emotional attachment to it, we just get rid of it so that we
can put a nice fresh head of cabbage in it's place. We need to treat
the things that block us from God's grace in the same way as the
rotten head of cabbage.

Next, let's look at the word "moral". Immediately the alcoholic
thinks of the Sunday Preacher pointing out the moral decay and
failings in his flock. In this context, however, we should really
equate "moral" with truth - the truth about the stock in trade.

Let's look at paragraph 1 on page 64:

"Taking a commercial inventory is a fact-finding [searching] and a
fact-facing [fearless] process. It is an effort to discover the
truth [moral] about the stock-in-trade."

So we are identifying all that prevents us from being a successful
enterprise, from having a shot at a happy and useful existence. "If
the owner of the business is to be successful, he cannot fool himself about
values."

In other words we have to become honest with ourselves about
ourselves.

We begin by searching out the flaws in our makeup that caused our
failure. "Being convinced that self, manifested in various ways, was
what had defeated us, we considered its common manifestations." What
did we learn earlier? "Selfishness - Self-centeredness. That we think, is the
root of our troubles." There it is again--self, not
alcohol, was the problem. Alcohol was a symptom.

With our next post we'll discuss the roots of resentment and
thoroughly define that which AA believes to be the number one
offender.

Have a great day!

Jim

[bluidkiti]

Big Book Study - Post #21

Good morning everyone!

We're at Paragraph 3 on page 64 - "Resentment is the number one
offender. It destroys more alcoholics than anything else." Again we
see it isn't necessarily booze that destroys us, but resentment.

Resentment was a word that I was unfamiliar with when I came to AA.
It means to re-feel old feelings. An example of resentment is when
we run into someone who said something nasty to us six months ago;
if we seethe with the anger as if the statement was made to us this
morning, we have resentment.

Alcoholics seem to store all this stuff within and it makes for a
disconcerting individual. Step 4 is where we begin to deal with these
resentments by putting them down on paper. This is the first of four
lists we will make in connection with Step 4.

"In dealing with resentments, we set them down on paper. We listed
people, institutions (perhaps the police or the DMV) or principles
(10 Commandments, etc.) with whom we were angry."

We begin our 4th Step by writing out a list of resentments. Our list
will be comprised of 5 columns. On the left hand column we list all
of those resentments first. We'll continue with the other four
columns later once we have written out our first-column list. We
think back over our lives and think about how we would feel if we
ran into Mr. or Ms. ______. If our second grade teacher, Miss
Crabtree, called us lazy or stupid in front of the class and we were
ashamed of it and we begin to experience old anger when thinking of
her we write her name down. If my lazy ass brother dropped by would
I resent his presence? My boss, do I resent her? My ex-wife? My
mother? The police? College professors? Drill Sargeant? The auto
mechanic who ripped me off? My neighbor? The guy who made a pass at
my wife? And what about God -- do I resent Him?

Once we are done listing everyone we will begin filling out the next
column: "The Cause." Next to each name we list what they did to
cause me to become angry. We move from the top of the list to the
bottom, and write out the cause for each resentment. (Page 65 is a
great place for tips.)

We'll go through the last three columns in our next post.

Have a great day!

Jim

[bluidkiti]

Big Book Study - Post #22

Good morning! [We'll take a break on Monday to celebrate Memorial Day - our next
post will be on Tuesday]

We are filling out the third column of the first of four parts of our
4th Step inventory. The four parts are:

1. Resentments
2. Fears
3. Sexual Conduct
4. Harms other than Sexual.

After filling out column 2, "The Cause" we move to column 3, "Affects
My". Opposite each of the names we list our injuries: "Was it our
self-esteem, our security, our ambitions, our personal or sex
relations which had been interfered with?" Referring to page 65 in
the text we see "(fear)" throughout our "Affects My" column. The root
of our anger (and all of our defects) was fear associated with each
of these instincts.

In the next column, number 4, we list what we had done:

"Putting out of mind the wrongs others have done I look for my own
mistakes... What did I do, if anything, to set into motion trains of
circumstances which in turn caused people or institutions to hurt me
and eventually led to my resentment for them?"

Did I fail to pay the car loan and then resented the bank for
repossessing the car? Was I lazy at work and failed to perform a
day's work for a day's pay, was terminated and became resentful as a
result?

Our last column, number 5, we look at ourselves:

"...we resolutely looked for our own mistakes. Where had we been
selfish? Dishonest? Self-seeking? Frightened?"

Which of the above character defects caused me to do what I did, or
cause me to want to hold on to an old resentment even though I may
have done nothing to cause it? Was it Pride? Anger? Greed? Gluttony?
Lust? Envy? Sloth?

Page 66 - "It is plain that a life which includes deep resentment
leads only to futility and unhappiness...this business of resentment
is infinitely grave. We found that it is fatal. For when harboring
such feelings we shut ourselves off from the sunlight of the Spirit.
The insanity of alcohol returns and we drink again."

Strong words! Here is the first indication that we are restored to
sanity, but if we are harboring resentment we can drink again.
Resentment seems to sabotage more long term sobriety than anything
else.

This is the basic 4th Step process. We will repeat the same five
columns, three more times:

1. A list of Fears
2. A list of our Sex Conduct
3. A list of Harms other than Sexual

The names appearing in our 4th Step lists will comprise the basis for
our Step 8 list.

A prayer for Step 4 and resentment is found at the top of page 67:

"We asked God to help us show them the same tolerance, pity, and
patience that we would cheerfully grant a sick friend. When a person
offended we said to ourselves, 'This is a sick man. How can I be
helpful to him? God save me from being angry. Thy will be done.'"

We pray for those we resent in order to be rid of the resentment.

Our sexual conduct is reviewed in the book on pages 68-70. There are
three suggested prayers on the topic of sex:

Page 69, paragraph 2: "We asked God to mold our ideals and help us to
live up to them". In the next paragraph: "...we ask God what we
should do about each specific matter."

The last prayer is on page 70, paragraph 2: "...We earnestly pray for
the right ideal, for guidance in each questionable situation, for
sanity, and for strength to do the right thing."

Sex is very troublesome for alcoholics because sex is frequently used
for purposes other than expressing love or for procreation. It can be
used as a weapon or as a source of power or to feed ego. With it we
harm others, can be quite selfish, and bring unhappiness to those
about us. We have used it to purchase security, to exact retribution
and to control others. Here we look at it and try to formulate, and
live up to, an ideal with God's help. We also remember that if our
sex conduct continues to harm others we are in danger of drinking
again.

Bill summarizes our process in the last two paragraphs of the
chapter. Page 71:

"We hope you are convinced now that God can remove whatever self-
will has blocked you off from Him. If you have already made a
decision (Step 3), and an inventory (Step 4) of your grosser
handicaps, you have made a good beginning. That being so you have
swallowed and digested some big chunks of truth about yourself."

In our next post we will go on to Chapter 6 "Into Action" and discuss
Step 5.

Have a great day!

Jim

[bluidkiti]

Big Book Study - Post #23

Good Morning, everyone!

We are at page 72 - Chapter 6 "Into Action" - and we're about to
embark on our discussion of the 5th Step!

"Having made our personal inventory, what shall we do about it? We
have been trying to get a new attitude, a new relationship with our
Creator, and to discover the obstacles in our path." Let's pause
here to ask ourselves what these obstacles are.

Looking at our 4th Step, last column, we discover that our defects
are what stand between us and *The Man Upstairs*. "This requires
action on our part, which, when completed, will mean that we have
admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being, the exact
nature of our DEFECTS." Didn't they mean "wrongs"? Reading through
the book we see that Bill tries not to repeat himself - something he
learned in school about writing. When he speaks of "defects of
character," "shortcomings," and "wrongs," he means the same thing -
they are synonymous.

We are about to begin Step 5 and it is important to note the mindset
of it. A former sponsor of mine would say to me how important it was
to "live my life as an open book." I had no idea what the man was
talking about. Step 5 is the first time for most of us to allow
anyone look into that "book." When we sit down with someone, usually
a sponsor, and go over Step 5 we are exposing our private selves to
someone else for the first time. The idea of Step 5 is to begin the
process of living in an open manner. This is the beginning of the
end of shame and guilt for these will shut us off from the sunlight
of the Spirit.

In paragraph 2 on page 72 we acknowledge that "In actual practice,
we usually find a solitary self-appraisal insufficient." The book is
emphatic about including someone else, in addition to God, in the
process. If we skip this vital step we may drink again. One of the
things that trips people up is the last sentence in that same
paragraph: "...until they told someone else ALL their life story."
Some of us have interpreted that as meaning that we have to write an
autobiography. Let's look at what is in the book and what was meant.

First, on the preceding page, we have been told we are on Step 5
already - our 4th Step inventory is complete. Second, the idea is to
reinforce the notion that it is a complete disclosure - that
withholding anything will jeopardize our sobriety. What we expose by
taking inventory in the manner as described in the previous chapter
is what makes a difference. Those things that have shut us off from
the "sunlight of the Spirit" is what is important. Again, the basic
point of "...ALL their life story" is that we should hold nothing
back once we begin the 5th Step process.

Reading through to the top of page 75 we discover one of the few
places that the basic text is actually dated. Remember, at the time
this book was originally written, that there were fewer than 100
alcoholics sober. It was quite possible not to find someone suitable
for a Fifth Step. Happily, with over 2 million members, we are most
likely to find someone within our fellowship to take this vital step
with.

In our next post we will start at the first paragraph on page 75 and
a thorough discussion of Step 5.

Have a great day!

Jim

[bluidkiti]

Big Book Study - Post #24

Good morning everyone!

We are on Page 75. Paragraph 2 includes the 5th Step promises:

"Once we have taken this step, withholding nothing, we are
delighted. We can look the world in the eye. We can be alone at
perfect peace and ease. Our fears fall from us. We begin to feel the
nearness of our Creator. We may have had certain spiritual beliefs,
but now we begin to have a spiritual experience. The feeling that
the drink problem has disappeared will often come strongly. We feel
we are on the Broad Highway, walking hand in hand with the Spirit of
the Universe."

There is some wonderful stuff there. This is where we really start
to clear that channel between God and ourselves and begin to feel
the power of His presence in our lives.

>>>Karen: I will admit to you right here that I did not have good
sponsorship in my early sobriety, so I struggled terribly with the
5th Step. It was the most difficult step for me. (I tried to take my
first 5th step with my cat! Needless to say, it didn't work.)

When I finally did sit with another human being, I still hung on to
some secrets I planned to take to my grave. By my 5th sobriety
anniversary, I was in bad shape. I was finally urged by a dear
friend to deal with it. I'm forever grateful that I did. I now walk
this earth a free woman.

When I sponsor other women through the 5th step, we go through her
4th step inventory thoroughly. We discuss every character defect. We
uncover every secret, hidden thing. We do our very best to be
fearless and thorough. I share much of my 5th step with her along
the way, so she'll know she is not alone and most certainly not the
worst woman in the world. We cry, we laugh, we talk, and we dig.<<<

Today, my life is an open book. Shame and guilt are no longer
associated with the way that I live. It is no longer necessary to
hide the things that I do or say because I try to live along
spiritual lines. Step 5 was the integral step in beginning this
road, "the Broad Highway, to freedom."

In order to prevent having to repeat the 4th and 5th Steps, my
sponsor directed me to begin self examination each day using Step
10. Later in this study, we will see how Step 10 incorporates the
same ideas and principles that have been expressed in Steps 4 and 5.
By practicing Step 10 daily, I avoid building up a load of trash, so
I never have the need to take a second 4th Step. I take the trash
out every day. That is also why it says "Continued to take personal
inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it" in Step 10,
for we have commenced to do this as we straightened out the past.

So, how long do we wait to proceed on to Step 6? Paragraph 3 on page
75 answers that question:

"Returning home we find a place where we can be quiet for an hour,
carefully reviewing what we have done."

For an hour, not a year!

Now we again examine that spiritual structure we have previously
discussed on pages 12, 47, and 62:

"Carefully reading the first five proposals we ask if we have omitted
anything, for we are building an arch through which we shall a free
man at last."

The spiritual structure is an arch and each of the preceding steps
have built upon each other to build this arch. If we have not been
thorough, our structure will crumble. Reviewing our previous work is
essential.

It will take us a while to get through this chapter. There is a lot
of ground to cover—Steps 5 through 11 in one chapter! In our next
post we will proceed to page 76 and the discussion of Steps 6 and 7.

Jim

[bluidkiti]

Big Book Study - Post #25

Good Morning Everyone!

Page 76 - Let's look at the first paragraph - Believe it or not
there is a prayer for the 6th Step too: "Can He now take them all -
every one? If we still cling to something we will not let go, we ask
God to help us be willing." We pray for willingness in Step 6. Much
like the process in Step 3 we are really making a decision to become
willing to have God remove these defects/shortcomings. And, much
like Step 3 there is a definite action associated with the decision.
We employ right action to fulfill our decision, we do the opposite
of our defects, we act our way into good thinking.

Step 7 - "My Creator, I am now willing that you should have all of
me, good and bad. I pray that you now remove from me every single
defect of character which stands in the way of my usefulness to you
and my fellows. Grant me strength, as I go out from here, to do your
bidding. Amen." Our 7th Step Prayer. We have noticed that "defects"
appear instead of "shortcomings" in the prayer. Bill, who prefered
not to repeated himself, used a synynom: defects of character =
shortcomings = wrongs.

There is more work to do to clear the channel between us and our
Higher Power. "Faith without works is dead." How are we to do this
work, also known as God's will, if we are still a prisoner to the
past? How do we walk out from here and attempt to do His will if we
aren't able to look everyone in the eye? Two tremendously vital
steps that enable us to live happy, joyous and free are all about
amends.

Still on page 76, let's look at paragraph 3: "We have a list of
persons we have harmed and to whom we are willing to make amends. We
made it when we took inventory" [during the step 4 and 5 process].
Here is where the term "amends" is defined: "Now we go out to our
fellows and repair the damage done in the past." "...repair the
damage," not apologize - we are attempting to right a serious
wrong. Remember, also, this step has it's roots in the Oxford Group
concept of "Restitution". Restitution is a synonym of amends.
Through it we accept responsibility for our part and we make it
right. "I'm really sorry" isn't what we are looking for here.

The prayer for Step 8 - "If we haven't the will to do this, we ask
until it comes." I needed to ask God for the will to face all these
people and without His help it was too much for me. I brought my
list to my sponsor to review and determine my best course of action
to achieve these amends. Today I am grateful for having done so for
I received many helpful suggestions. He emphasized that I was there
to clear my side of the street, that the wrongs of the other party
were not the focus of the discussion.

With our next post we'll discuss Step 9 in depth. We'll begin at the
bottom of page 76.

Have a great day, everyone!

Jim

[bluidkiti]

Big Book Study - Post #26

Welcome back everyone!

Let's read through starting from the bottom of page 76 and on to the
top of page 77. Here is where we find out what our purpose is: "Our
real purpose is to fit ourselves to be of maximum service to God and
the people about us." [Let's all remember this the next time we
hear someone say, "I have no idea what God's will for me is!"] In
order to be of service we must free ourselves of the past. The
process of steps 4 through 9 accomplishes this task if we are
thorough.

In paragraph 1 on page 77 we find out the painfully obvious: "It is
harder to go to an enemy than to a friend, but we find it more
beneficial to us." In the following paragraph we get definite
instruction on what we are to do in the process of making
amends: "Under no condition do we criticize such a person or
argue. Simply tell him that we will never get over drinking until
we have done our utmost to straighten out the past." "Our utmost"
means we do everything we possibly can. "We are there to sweep off
our side of the street, realizing nothing worthwhile can be
accomplished until we do so..." We are there to talk about our
transgressions, regardless of how this person may have wronged us.

Paragraph 2 on page 78 gives us some direction regarding our
creditors. "Most alcoholics owe money. We do not dodge our
creditors." That means we answer the phone when they call. We
respond to demands for payment and work out a payment plan. Of
course drunks want to save up the cash and pay it all at once, but
that never seems to work with us. Even if we commit to $20 per week
or some other means of payment, over time we meet our obligations.
If we are avoiding phone calls or not opening the mail, we cannot do
God's will, can we? Having paid my way out of the financial "black
hole" myself I can tell you it is worth the effort.

From paragraph 3 on page 78 through page 82, there are several
mentions of caution when making amends. Criminal offenses are
covered on page 78 to 79. A prayer for the 9th Step appears on page
79 in the first paragraph: "...we ask (God) that we be given
strength and direction to do the right thing, no matter
what the personal consequences may be." The paragraph finishes
with, "We must not shrink at anything." It's a funny thing, once we
have faced all these people and institutions, we fear life less. We
find out the what we feared most was what resided within us, and
through this process we vanquish this fear.

Another caution -- the involvement of others. In paragraph 2 on
page 79, we read that we must be sure to account for the effect of
our amends on others. A sponsor helps tremendously here, helping us
to see things we fail to see at first glance.

Turning to page 80 a definition of "amends" is buried in the text.
Let's look at paragraph 3: "He felt he had done a wrong he could not
possibly make right." Looking at that line, we realize that we are
attempting to "right a serious wrong." Sounds quite a bit more than
our "I'm sorry I _____________ (fill in the blank)," doesn't it?

With our next post we'll pick up at the bottom of page 80 where the
discussion of our domestic situation begins in relation to Step 9.

Have a great day!

Jim

[bluidkiti]

Big Book Study - Post #27

Sorry about yesterday - wasn't able to access Yahoo! Groups for some reason...

Good Morning!

We are at the bottom of page 80. The next several paragraphs,
through the end of paragraph 1 on page 82, deal with the problems
associated with sex outside of marriage. This is an especially
difficult area for alcoholics. If we have been unfaithful we have to
face up to it, if we continue to be dishonest with ourselves and
those about us, we are setting ourselves up for failure.

The last paragraph on this page, and the first on the following
page, underscore the fact that we have to do more than stay sober in
order to make effective amends:

"We feel a man is unthinking when he says that sobriety is enough.
He is like the farmer who came up out of his cyclone cellar to find
his home ruined. To his wife, he remarked, "Don't see anything the
matter here, Ma. Ain't it grand the wind stopped blowin'?

"Yes, there is a long period of reconstruction ahead. We must take
the lead. A remorseful mumbling that we are sorry won't fill the
bill at all."

Reading through to the last paragraph on page 83, we see that we are
going to have to take definitive action when taking Step 9,
particularly with our families.

Now the promises that everyone likes to talk about:

"If we are painstaking about this phase of our development, we will
be amazed before we are half way through. We are going to know a new
freedom and a new happiness. We will not regret the past nor wish to
shut the door on it. We will comprehend the word serenity and we
will know peace. No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we
will see how our experience can benefit others. That feeling of
uselessness and self-pity will disappear. We will lose interest in
selfish things and gain interest in our fellows. Self-seeking will
slip away. Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change.
Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us. We will
intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us.
We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not
do for ourselves.

"Are these extravagant promises? We think not. They are being
fulfilled among us, sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly. They will
always materialize if we work for them."

It is important to note where these particular promises are in the
book - at the end of Step 9.

At this time we have completed our initial "house cleaning." Once
complete, we shall receive God's grace. The promises begin to come
true for us. "If we are painstaking about this phase of our
development, we will be amazed before we are half way
through." "This phase" is the Steps 4-9 phase. "The Promises" are
wonderful and they give us alot of hope, with one caveat: page 84
paragraph 1 - "They will always materialize if we work for them."
We don't get them by osmosis. They just don't fall into our lap, we
have to work for them.

The whole process of Steps 8 and 9 is geared to prepare us to be of
service to God and our fellows. When we complete this phase of our
development we can look the whole world in the eye. This is when we
can truly live one day at a time.

With our next post we'll start at paragraph 2 on page 84 and our
discussion of Step 10 in the book. Stay tuned, we have more promises
to come.

Have a wonderful day,

Jim

[bluidkiti]

Big Book Study - Post #28

Good Morning everyone!

Although it seems like we're running through the Steps, keep in mind
that in this chapter alone we cover steps 5 through 10 -- a mere 16
pages for 6 steps. No wonder this chapter is called Into Action!

We are at page 84, paragraph 2, and the beginning of Step 10.

"This thought brings us to Step Ten, which suggests we continue to
take personal inventory and continue to set right any new mistakes
as we go along." So, in Step 10, we continue the process of
housecleaning/amends that we have embarked on in the Step 4 through
9 process. "We have entered the world of the Spirit." We have had a
spiritual awakening or experience. "Our next function is to grow
in understanding and effectiveness." (Makes you wonder about all
those people who say "This thing works but I don't know how")

This is the first of the continuing growth steps. In the past, Steps
10, 11, and 12 were called Maintenance Steps. Although maintenance
is part of the idea we really need continued growth through Steps
10 - 12. "It should continue for our lifetime." A daily 10th Step,
an integral part of our lives - that's the idea. "Continue to watch
for selfishness, dishonesty, resentment, and fear." Sounds like a
4th Step doesn't it? "When these crop up we ask God at once to remove
them." Sounds like what we have done in Steps 6 and 7. "We discuss
them with someone immediately (Step 5, right?) and make amends
quickly if we have harmed anyone." That sounds like our actions in
Steps 8 and 9 to me. What is our code? "Love and tolerance is our
code."

In this short paragraph outlining the 10th Step we have touched upon
Steps 4 through 9. We are continuing the process on a daily basis
that we began when we did Steps 4 through 9. If we are thorough in
our 10th Step there is likely to be no need to repeat any of Steps 4
through 9.

Another group of promises, the Step Ten Promises, appears at the
bottom of Page 84 - last paragraph: "And we have ceased fighting
anything or anyone- even alcohol. For by this time sanity will have
returned." Can we hide behind "insanity" any longer? Still "sick?"
Are we "crazy?" No, not in respect to alcohol. We have been restored
to sanity and are no longer the victim of the mental obsession that
dooms us to drink. That is a miracle to me! "If tempted, we recoil
from it as from a hot flame. We react sanely and normally, and we
will find that this has happened automatically. ... We are not
fighting it, neither are we avoiding temptation. ... Instead, the
problem has been removed. It does not exist for us. ... This is how
we react so long as we keep in fit spiritual condition." It sounds
to me that we shouldn't be fighting booze if we have gone through
this process. Are we white knuckling it? Then, perhaps, we haven't
practiced the program as presented. Are we thinking about a drink
frequently? Are we tempted to drink? We must go back and review what
we have done; there is a flaw somewhere. Have we been entirely
honest? "Have we tried to make mortar without sand? ... Have we held
on to some of the worst items in stock?"

Some of the greatest miracles of sobriety are made possible through
the practice and application of the 12 Step process in our lives. It
is these miracles that separates Alcoholics Anonymous from
everything else out there. These miracles are possible for each and
every one of us. But these same miracles are only possible by
following the program as presented in the Big Book. Once we decide
to "work our own program" we cannot expect the benefits of this
message.

With our next post we'll continue our discussion on Step 10 on page
85, paragraph 1.

Have a great day everyone!

Jim

[bluidkiti]

Big Book Study - Post #29

Good Morning and Happy 75th birthday to our fellowship!

Page 85, Paragraph 1 - While we have recovered from alcoholism:

"We are not cured of alcoholism. What we really have is a daily
reprieve contingent on the maintenance of our spiritual condition.
Every day is a day when we must carry the vision of God's will into
all our activities. 'How can I best serve Thee--Thy will (not mine)
be done.' These are thoughts which must go with us constantly. We
can exercise our will power along this line all we wish. It is the
proper use of the will."

Although we have made a decision to turn our will over to the care
of God as we understand Him (in Step 3) we are told here how to use
our will to fulfill that same decision. Our will isn't taken from
us; instead, we are taught the proper use of our will. The proper
use of our will is to try to align our self-will with God's will.

Step 10 is our principal means of growth after we have completed the
process of the first 9 steps. It is not a step that can be
incorporated into our lives by itself, however. To be vital it must
be paired up with Step 11. In the "12 Steps and 12 Traditions", in
the discussion of Step 11, Bill refers to the "unshakeable
foundation for life." That foundation is the logical interweaving
of the process of self-examination (Step 10) and conscious contact
with a Power greater than ourselves (Step 11). If the channel
between us and God is filled with unattended 10th Step stuff --
fear, resentment, anger, guilt and the like -- we will not have the
open channel we need to God and His Grace. The sunlight of the
Spirit can't come into our lives. Conversely, when our conscious
contact with God isn't there our ability to "identify the worst
items in stock" can disappear as well.

Step 11 begins at the bottom of Page 85. Let's read through to page
86 - paragraph 1:

"When we retire at night, we constructively review our day. Were we
resentful, selfish, dishonest, or afraid? (Step 4? Sounds like it.)
Do we owe an apology? (similar to Step 9 perhaps?) Have we kept
something to ourselves which should be discussed with another person
at once? (Step 5) Were we kind and loving toward all? What could we
have done better? Were we thinking of ourselves most of the time?
(More inventory) ... After making our review we ask God's
forgiveness and inquire what corrective measures should be taken."

So, at the end of the day we review and, through meditation and
prayer, we "inquire what corrective measures should be taken."
Sounds like Steps 10 and 11 go hand-in-hand. We are asking God for
direction in prayer. Some of the folks I got sober with used to say
that prayer was talking to God and meditation was listening.

As we go through Step 11 here in the book we will see that Bill's
knowledge of meditation and prayer was somewhat limited and he was
forced to keep it simple. (This is what he is referring to when he
says "we only know a little" on Page 164, by the way). Because
prayer and meditation takes innumerable forms it was probably for
the best.

With our next post we will continue with our discussion of Step 11
on page 86 at paragraph 2.

Have a wonderful day!

Jim

[bluidkiti]

Big Book Study - Post #30

Good morning everyone!

We're at *Page 86, paragraph 2*: "On awakening let us think about the
twenty-four hours ahead. ... we ask God to direct our thinking, especially
asking that it be divorced from self-pity, dishonest or self-seeking
motives." (This is one of the Step 11 prayers.) If we are indecisive: "Here
we ask God for inspiration, an intuitive thought or a decision. (Another
prayer.) We relax and take it easy." We aren't obsessing on this, we think
of something else knowing that the answers will come. Although we come to
rely upon intuition we always check with others on those thoughts before
putting them into action.

Yet another prayer: the Big Book 11th Step Prayer, *page 87*, *paragraph 1*:
"We usually conclude the period of meditation with a prayer that we be shown
all through the day what our next step is to be, that we be given whatever
we need to take care of such problems. We ask especially for freedom from
self-will, and are careful to make no requests for ourselves only." Here we
are praying for the knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry it
out.

What is the outcome? At the top of *page 88*: "We are in much less
danger of (suffering
from) excitement, fear, anger, worry, self-pity, or foolish
decisions."Those foolish decisions caused me plenty of trouble!

Now, you'll notice that Bill was getting at what meditation meant for him:
From the point of "On awakening..." to immediately before "We usually
conclude the period of meditation..." we are engaging in meditation. We are
thinking about what our actions will be, what we will face, how we will
conduct ourselves.

I began my meditation life by quieting the endless conversation that I used
to have with myself inside of my head, quite simply I was driving myself
nuts! Then I started to direct my thinking to what I would face over the
course of the day. Of course that meant that I had to change the way that I
lived. I couldn't continue to live my life as if I was shot out of a cannon
each morning. I received valuable suggestions: instead of waking up at the
last possible second, perhaps if I got up a little earlier that may allow
time for meditation, instead of waiting until the fuel gauge read "E" maybe
I should fill up at 1/4 of a tank. Leaving a little earlier for work would
help my state of mind in the morning, arriving less frazzled and on time.
These and many other suggestions helped immensely. The result was it was
easier to meditate in the morning and prepare for the day.

Today, I get up early -- around 4:30 am. I take my dogs for a brisk walk in
the peaceful darkness around my neighborhood, and take advantage of that
time by communicating with God as I walk. When I get back home, I spend a
little more time in study -- the Big Book, the Bible, or some other material
of a spiritual nature. I spend time digesting the reading, seeing how it
applies to my life, and quietly listening to what God wants to say to me
through what I studied. Then, I spend time in prayer. I try to send a quick
e-mail or two to encourage some of the newcomers online. After that, I drive
to work and during that time I listen to spiritually-edifying CDs, tapes, or
radio.

After beginning my day with prayer and meditation, by the time I begin my
day at the office, I have no fear because I always have a Partner who has
all power. I put in the footwork and the results are up to Him. My life is
no longer the "Chinese Fire Drill" that it once was. The 12 Steps have been
the key.

*Exercise:* Go back and re-read the text and count how many times "think,"
"thought," "brains," "intuition," or their synonyms appear in the text. You
may be surprised to learn how much "thought" goes into meditation!

In our next post we'll begin Chapter 7. Since "faith without works is
dead," there is more action to come.

Have a good day!
Karen H.

[bluidkiti]

Big Book Study - Post #31

Good morning everyone! [Thanks again to karen for filling in on Friday!]

Chapter 7 starts on page 89. It is dedicated in its entirety to Step
12. "Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps,
we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these
principles in all our affairs." The bulk of this chapter is
dedicated to carrying the message. Specifically from the beginning
on page 89 to page 100. Why is this?

Let's put the text into historical perspective - During the period
of time when the book was written there were about 60 to 100 members
sober - this after 4 years of work. There were two basic centers of
activity: New York which was intellectual/psychological, and
Akron/Cleveland which were more evangelical in nature. When
originally written the 12th Step said this: "Having had a spiritual
experience as the result of this course of action, we tried to carry
this message to others - especially alcoholics, and to practice
these principles in all our affairs." Clearly the mindset is one of
conversion, spreading the word. Chapter 7 was written with the idea
that it was (a) good to increase our numbers and that (b) carrying
the message is the way to do it. They also believed that the message
wasn't one that required a "personality" to convey it. Certainly
Bill and Bob weren't about to go on tour. This book was the perfect
vehicle to carry the message. By 1940, even Bill was surprised at
the success of the book in carrying the message.

When we read through these pages we see things that astonish us: We
aren't convincing anyone that they need this program - we are
demonstrating what it has done for us. We are attracting, not
promoting. The assumption is that the alcoholic is ready to listen
to the message. Page 94 - paragraph 1: "Make it plain he is not
under pressure, that he needn't see you again if he doesn't want
to." There is an old saying that isn't repeated often today - "AA is
a program for those who want it, not necessarily for those who need
it."

We will also be astonished at the length to which we are expected to
go in helping others. Paragraph 1 on page 97 really details what is
expected of us.

"Never avoid these responsibilities, but be sure you are doing the
right thing if you assume them. Helping others is the foundation
stone of your recovery. A kindly act once in a while isn't enough.
You have to act the Good Samaritan every day, if need be. It may
mean the loss of many nights' sleep, great interference with your
pleasures, interruptions to your business. It may mean sharing your
money and your home, counseling frantic wives and relatives,
innumerable trips to police courts, sanitariums, hospitals, jails
and asylums. Your telephone may jangle at any time of the day or
night. Your wife may sometimes say she is neglected. A drunk may
smash the furniture in your home, or burn a mattress. You may have
to fight with him if he is violent. Sometimes you will have to call
a doctor and administer sedatives under his direction. Another
time you may have to send for the police or an ambulance.
Occasionally you will have to meet such conditions." That's pretty
involved!

The rehab community has taken much of this responsibility from us.
Whether that is to the detriment of AA is for a separate discussion.

With our next post we will continue with Page 100 - last paragraph.
We'll discuss what our spiritual awakening has done for us and what
being a "recovered alcoholic" means in Alcoholics Anonymous.

Have a great day!

Jim

[bluidkiti]

Big Book Study - Post #32

Good morning everyone!

Let's go to page 100, last paragraph-

"Assuming we are spiritually fit, we can do all sorts of things
alcoholics are not supposed to do. People have said that we must not
go where liquor is served; we must not have it in our homes; we must
shun friends who drink; we must avoid moving pictures which show
drinking scenes; we must not go into bars; our friends must hide
their bottles if we go to their house; we mustn't think or be
reminded about alcohol at all. Our experience shows this isn't
necessarily so."

"We meet these conditions every day. An alcoholic who cannot meet
them, still has an alcoholic mind; there is something the matter
with his spiritual status."

These are some very important lines in the Big Book. Having an
alcoholic mind means we haven't had a spiritual awakening, we
haven't changed sufficiently to have recovered from alcoholism. If,
when confronted with circumstances where we obsess on the alcohol in
a given setting, we should be taking our own inventories to reveal
why this is so. Let's go back for a moment to page 84, at the
bottom. The third sentance in the paragraph at the bottom says: "We
will seldom be interested in liquor." Reviewing these 10th step
promises we see that we have an entirely new state of mind when it
comes to alcohol.

Returning to page 101 it is easy to see why we are on dangerous
ground when we continue to obsess about alcohol when in such
situations. Remember, we cannot defeat this obsession on our own, it
can only be vanquished through a spiritual awakening that is THE
RESULT of the 12 Steps.

So, to summarize: if we have had a spiritual awakening and are in
fit spiritual condition we are able to go anywhere if our motives
are thoroughly good. Does that mean someone can go to a strip club
and drink cokes all night while indulging in a favorite defect of
character? Probably not, because his motives are spiritually flawed.
But can he go to a family gathering where there will be people who
can drink with impunity? Most definitely, assuming he is in fit
spiritual condition.

Let's turn to page 102 paragraph 2 - "Your job now is to be at the
place where you may be of maximum helpfulness to others, so never
hesitate to go anywhere if you can be helpful. You should not
hesitate to visit the most sordid spot on earth on such an errand.
Keep on the firing line of life with these motives and God will keep
you unharmed."

What does this mean? Sometimes we may find ourselves in situations
where there is alcohol involved. If we are not in fit spiritual
condition our ability to be of maximum helpfulness to others is
compromised. In fact our ability to seek and do God's will is
hampered. You will also notice that this is the second place in
the Big Book where "the firing line" is mentioned. Go back to The
Doctor's Opinion, you'll see it there also (third paragraph on page
xxviii). "The firing line" is another way of saying we must remain
familiar with our alcoholism - "keep the memory green" so to speak.
If we aren't carrying this message we may forget where we came from.
We may even begin to think that we were just connoissuers of fine
wines and beers. If we stay on the firing line of life we will never
forget the type of drinkers we were.

"After all, our problems were of our own making. Bottles were only a
symbol. Besides, we have stopped fighting anybody or anything. We
have to!"

Alcoholism comes in people, not bottles and we have created most, if
not all, of our own problems. This is the second place where we have
stopped fighting - again, review pages 84 and 85.

With our next post we will go on to Chapter 8 - To Wives.

Have a great day!

Jim

[bluidkiti]

Big Book Study - Post #33

Good morning everyone!

Most of the comments on this chapter were written by my friend and
co-moderator Karen-

"Chapter 8 - To Wives" begins on page 104. There are some historical
facts that are very interesting. First, a trivia question: Who wrote
this chapter? Most of us would immediately think Lois Wilson or Dr.
Bob's wife, Anne Smith, but that wouldn't be correct.

Originally, Bill wanted Anne to write it. She had no interest in
doing so. (Yeah, RIGHT! I can see, in my mind's eye, Lois jumping up
and down saying "I'll do it! I'll do it!" and Bill saying "I don't
think so!") Bill decided that he would write it himself. (No control
issues there!)

Of course Al-Anon was formed in the early 1950's and became a
society standing separate from AA. As an historical aside, it is
interesting to note that spouses were very much involved with the
alcoholic in the context of meetings at the very early beginnings of
AA. This makes this chapter congruous when it is viewed from this
historical perspective.

Since we play the role of the alcoholic, we must look at this
chapter from that viewpoint. Here, we can examine the truth about
how our active alcoholism affected our friends, our loved ones, our
employers, our neighbors – or, to quote page 104, "nearly everyone
bound by ties of blood or affection." This chapter helps us see
ourselves while we were drinking through the eyes of others. It's
not very comfortable.

While studying this chapter, we may experience profound realizations
about how destructive our alcoholic behavior truly was. It is not
unusual to spot more amends that are owed. The chapter drives home
the realities and consequences of living selfishly. If we didn't get
the message in Chapter 5 (pages 60 to 63), then we get a second
chance to take a look at what it all means in Chapter 8. No
other illness destroys relationships as does alcoholism. Pages 104
through the top of 108 describe those realities and consequences in
detail.

From the bottom of page 108 through the middle of page 110 Bill
describes the "four husbands" illustrating the progression of the
disease. Then, on pages 110 through 114, practical suggestions are
offered to help these husbands.

Starting at the bottom of Page 114, the focus switches. Suggestions
are offered to spouses regarding their own character defects. One
paragraph on page 116 really stands out for me:

"We have elsewhere remarked how much better life is when lived on a
spiritual plane. If God can solve the age-old riddle of alcoholism,
He can solve your problems, too. We wives found that, like everybody
else, we were afflicted with pride, self-pity, vanity and all the
things which go to make up the self-centered person; and we were not
above selfishness or dishonesty. As our husbands began to apply
spiritual principles in their lives, we began to see the
desirability of doing so, too."

The following paragraph is perhaps the most important in the chapter:

"We never, never try to arrange a man's life so as to shield him from
temptation. The slightest disposition on your part to guide his
appointments or his affairs so he will not be tempted will be
noticed. Make him feel absolutely free to come and go as he likes.
This is important. If he gets drunk, don't blame yourself. God has
either removed your husband's liquor problem or He has not. If not,
it had better be found out right away. Then you and your husband
can get right down to fundamentals. If a repetition is to be
prevented, place the problem, along with everything else, in God's
hands."

For all of those who claim that there is no timeframe for doing the
steps - here is an intersting snippet: "We do not like the thought
that the contents of a book or the work of another alcoholic has
accomplished in a few weeks that for which we struggled for years."
From Paragraph 4 on Page 118. So the program is designed to work in
a few weeks? Not a step a year or "a long slow recovery" - it does
underscore that this process is meant to happen in a matter of *weeks
and months* - not years!

This is from page 120, last paragraph. It mirrors paragraphs 1 and 2
on page 101. Remember what we have discussed throughout this study --
Bill will repeat important ideas in order to reinforce them to the
reader. This is yet another example of this style of writing.

The chapters We Agnostics, To Wives, and To Employers all have
something in common: you don't have to BE ONE to benefit from what
is written!

With our next post we will continue with Chapter 9 - The Family
Afterward.

Have a great day!

Jim

[bluidkiti]

Big Book Study - Post #34

Good Morning all!

Today we will begin on page 122 - "The Family Afterward." The
dynamics of a family that has endured alcoholism are skewed to the
point where living together has become difficult, sometimes almost
impossible. Written many years before Alanon and Alateen were
formed, this and the preceding chapter attempt to steer us all--
alcoholic or not--down the spiritual path.

Paragraph 3 on page 122 is a theme that is oft repeated throughout
the book: "Cessation of drinking is but the first step away from a
highly strained, abnormal condition." AA isn't a "not drinking
club". Reading to page 127 the advice is offered to all--alcoholic
or not--that patient striving is required to become free of the past
and to grow into something better. Although we want results now, we
must realize that it will take time to recover on all different
levels.

On page 127, the first paragraph reminds us to be cautious about
focusing on a single aspect of our recovery. "The head of the house
ought to remember that he is mainly to blame for what befell his
home. He can scarcely square the account in his lifetime. But he
must see the danger of over-concentration on financial success.
Although financial recovery is on the way for many of us, we found we
could not place money first. For us, material well-being always
followed spiritual progress; it never preceded." If we concentrate
on our spiritual condition we will mend financially.

The following paragraph directs us to make our efforts under our own
roofs. "Since the home has suffered more than anything else, it is
well that a man exert himself there. He is not likely to get far in
any direction if he fails to show unselfishness and love under his
own roof. We know there are difficult wives and families, but the
man who is getting over alcoholism must remember he did much to make
them so."

The underlying message here is about balance. An overemphasis on any
single area creates imbalance. Those areas that are neglected
suffer. Balance is something to be sought after. Over-concentration
on finances, spirituality, meeting attendance, relationships, etc.,
at the expense of those other things that comprise this life will
lead us to more difficulty. Remembering that life is lived outside
of the rooms of AA is important.

With our next post we will start on page 128. The discussion will
start with how the family reacts to a "stirring spiritual
experience."

Thanks for participating!

Jim - The Into Action Group of Manhattan

[bluidkiti]

Big Book Study - Post #35

Good Morning everyone!

We're at page 128 of Chapter 9 - "The Family Afterward." The reading
from here through the bottom of page 130 centers on, for lack of a
better term, spiritual infancy. It's that period of time that many
of us experience where we believe that we have found an oasis in the
desert of an alcoholic life. It's roots may be in the spiritual
experience, or simple and overwhelming gratitude. What this reading
reveals is that, no matter what the circumstance, imbalance in life
is not sustainable. Although the pendulum has swung from active
alcoholism to over-zealousness in the spiritual realm what will
happen, given time, is that we will become centered. Here our
families are asked to allow us that period of time to become
centered, to put our AA service work and spiritual lives into proper
perspective with all of the other segments of our lives: work,
family, home, service, etc. Step 10 is the primary tool to
accomplish this desired result.

Beginning at the bottom of page 130 and reading through to the top
of page 133 the text discusses family life, taking inventory within
our families and developing a new attitude toward the alcoholic
member. This is rooted in our new attitude as recovered alcoholics.
Paragraph 2 on page 132: "Outsiders are sometimes shocked when we
burst into merriment over seemingly tragic experience out of the
past. But why shouldn't we laugh? We have recovered, and have been
given the power to help others." Continuing on to the following
paragraph - "So let each family play together or separately, as much
as their circumstances warrant. We are sure God wants us to be
Happy, Joyous, and Free." Sounds like we get a glimpse of what God's
will is for us. If we are careful when reading the Big Book we will
find that much of God's will is revealed to us. It may be general in
nature but it is there. If we're not "Happy, Joyous, and Free" we
may be missing something in our spiritual lives.

The remainder of this chapter deals with the relationship of the
alcoholic to his family, his health and sex relations. It tells us
not to be shy about consulting physicians for they are here to help.
On page 135 there is a telling sentence - paragraph 1: "Seeing is
believing to most families who have lived with a drinker." Our
actions are far more revealing than our words, especially at home.

And, of course, the first three slogans:

First Things First
Live and Let Live
Easy Does It

Have a great day everyone!

Jim

[bluidkiti]

Big Book Study - Post #36

Good Mornin' all!

Chapter 10 - To Employers begins on page 136. This chapter was
written by Hank Parkhurst. Hank was one of the early New York
members and a business partner of Bill's - they were in the business
of forming a service station buying cooperative and selling auto
parts through the Honest Dealers Association. Hank was also an
officer in "Works Publishing," the entity formed to publish the Big
Book. In April of 1940 Hank got drunk which was to be a source of
great difficulty since he controlled a significant amount of stock
in Works Publishing.

The reading from pages 136 to 140 centers on the loss of capable
employees. The point is also made that it can be difficult to make
employers understand the nature of the malady. Page 138 at the end
of paragraph 2: "The only answer I could make was that if the man
followed the usual pattern, he would go on a bigger bust than ever.
I felt this was inevitable and wondered if the bank was doing the
man an injustice. Why not bring him into contact with some of our
alcoholic crowd? He might have a chance. I pointed out that I had
had nothing to drink whatever for three years, and this in the face
of difficulties that would have made nine out of ten men drink their
heads off. Why not at least afford him an opportunity to hear my
story? 'Oh no,' said my friend, 'this chap is either through with
liquor, or he is minus a job. If he has your willpower and guts, he
will make the grade'." At the top of page 139 that individual got
drunk again.

At the end of page 139 the employers are instructed to look within
their own organizations and to try to identify those employees who
are alcoholic. The point is made that there are many talented and
worthwhile employees who can be helped and can return to usefulness
if they are given a chance to recover. A generalized approach with
an employee is discussed through page 145.

We'll return to this chapter with our next post, and begin at the
last paragraph on page 145.

Jim

[bluidkiti]

Big Book Study - Post #37

Good Morning!

We are beginning at the bottom of page 145. Reading through to page
148, there are many ideas that have been adopted by industry in
general that are beneficial to helping alcoholics in the workplace.

Paragraph 2 on page 148:

"It boils down to this: No man should be fired just because he is an
alcoholic. If he wants to stop he should be afforded a real chance."

In evidence today are the multitude of EAP programs that direct
alcoholics to recovery.

Read to the bottom of page 149 - last paragraph:

"Today I own a little company (The Honest Dealers Association).
There are two employees (Jimmy B and Bill) who produce as much as
five normal salesmen. But why not? They have a new attitude, and they
have been saved from a living death. I have enjoyed every moment
spent in getting them straightened out."

That was the little automobile parts business that Hank ran and that
Bill and Jimmy B. worked at. I don't suppose there was any
exaggeration there? <wink>

The last chapter before going on to Dr. Bob's story and returning to
the beginning of the book is Chapter 11 - "A Vision For You" on page
151. We'll begin there with our next post.

Have a great day!

Jim

[bluidkiti]

Big Book Study - Post #38

Good Morning!

Chapter 11 - "A Vision for You" begins on page 151.

If you have been following along with the study from the beginning,
you have learned much about Bill Wilson's writing style. I'll
recount what we've learned for those who have recently joined us.

There are several aspects of Bill's writing style which are pretty
consistent throughout the book. First, Bill will make the same point
in several different ways. Second, he tries not to repeat the same
words over and over. Third, he sums up at the end of each chapter.

It is the third point that is pertinent for our discussion of
Chapter 11. This is the final chapter in the main text of the book.
We will see how he will "sum up" or recap what has been covered
earlier.

The first three pages cover the introduction and the earlier parts
of the book, disclosing to the reader what he may find. At the
bottom of page 153 and through page 164, Bill recounts the
beginnings of AA and gives a very general outline of AA's brief
history. Bill doesn't identify the places or people who were
instrumental in the beginning, although all of the essentials are
there: Towns Hospital, Dr. Silkworth, The Mayflower Hotel, Akron
Ohio, Dr. Bob, Bill Dotson (AA #3), Cleveland, New York, etc.

With our next post we will look at some of the high points of the
history and look closely at page 164. Then we'll finish up with Dr.
Bob's Nightmare.

Have a great day!

Jim

[bluidkiti]

Big Book Study - Post #39

Good morning all!

There are a great many places that have marked AA's early history.
The Mayflower Hotel in Ohio is one. Towns Hospital - 293 Central
Park West at 89th Street in Manhattan is another. (Coincidentally I
used to live half a block down 89th Street from there). Stepping
Stones was the home in Bedford Hills, NY in Westchester County, just
north of New York City, where Bill and Lois lived. They moved there
in 1941. I was fortunate enough to meet Lois there in 1980. She
passed on in 1988. Stepping Stones has a website at
www.Steppingstones.org or make an appointment to see it with the
director of the place. Another place is Bill's birthplace in East
Dorset, VT. The Wilson House ~ www.wilsonhouse.org ~ has been fully
restored and a former pigeon of mine, Dean M., can give you a
detailed history of the place. Dean has been doing service as the
assistant manager of the place since 1995. Rooms are available to
stay in for a reasonable cost. Dinners are served family style and
the food is great!

Bill and Lois are buried nearby. One of the most moving experiences
is to go to Bill and Lois' grave and read the touching notes and see
the pictures of children left there by those expressing undying
gratitude to Bill's work.

Page 164 - Paragraph 2 is a place where people will lift something
out of context in an attempt to prove a spurious point. "Our book is
meant to be suggestive only. We realize we know only a little." Some
people seize upon this to mean that the instructions outlined in the
book are optional. (I wrote an article on this topic which was
published in the April 2002 edition of The Grapevine
entitled "Spiritual Kindergarten" by Jim K. of Manhattan - a copy of
it is located in the "Files" section at the study home page). What
the first 100 knew only a little about was the spiritual experience.
They had the answer to recovering from alcoholism. Keep in mind that
Bill was sober only four years at the time the book was written. The
word "suggestive," in this context, means "a starting point," or "a
beginning." It means "an introduction to spiritual principles." AA
is but a means to the end of living a spiritual life. Our lives
aren't meant to be lived in AA but outside of it.

"The answers will come if your own house is in order. But obviously
you cannot transmit what you haven't got." The "2 step" trap -- to
carry the message effectively you need to have a message to transmit.

"Abandon yourself to God as you understand God (Steps 1, 2 and 3).
Admit your faults to Him and your fellows (Steps 4, 5, 6, and 7).
Clear away the wreckage of the past (Steps 8 and 9). Give freely of
what you find and join us (Steps 10, 11, and 12). We shall be with
you in the Fellowship of the Spirit, (The Fellowship of God) and you
will surely meet some of us as you trudge the Road of Happy Destiny.
May God bless you and keep you until then." In his classic style,
Bill sums up at the end.

With our next post, we will wrap up our study cycle with Dr. Bob's
Story.

Then we will post the Study outline/instructions.

On Thursday we will begin a new study cycle.

Jim

[bluidkiti]

Big Book Study - Post #40

Good Morning, everyone!

Dr. Bob's Nightmare is the first of the personal stories on page 171.

Page 165 is interesting however. This is the Section heading "Personal Stories -
How Forty-Three Alcoholics Recovered
From Their Malady" (Emphasis is mine). Not a typo.

Page 172 - Paragraph 1 - Bob attributes "selfishness" as playing an
important part in "bringing on my alcoholism". In the next paragraph
we can see his antipathy towards the church. Reading through page
173, we see that he is in trouble early on with drinking. Change of
scenery didn't help. At the bottom of page 174, he began to go to
sanitariums voluntarily to dry out. This was before Prohibition
(1920), and he still had many more years of drinking ahead of him.

On pages 176 and 177, his drinking was out of control and all of the
classic symptoms were there: hiding bottles, others recognizing his
drinking as a problem, hoarding alcohol, social life deteriorating,
switching drinks (the Beer Experiment), etc. On page 178, he falls
in with "...a crowd of people who attracted me because of their
seeming poise, health and happiness." (About 1933) That crowd was
The Oxford Group, although Dr. Bob had not connected this group of
people with any solution of his drinking problem. He drank and spent
time with the Oxford Groups for the next two and a half years.

In paragraph 1, the lady who called Bob was Henrietta Sieberling (of
the rubber tire manufacturing empire) and the friend was Bill
Wilson. The first meeting between Bill and Bob was about 6 hours
longer than the fifteen minutes Bob was initially willing to give to
Bill.

Bob did get drunk again 3 weeks later at the AMA convention. Bill
worked with him again and the founding of our society dates from
June 10, 1935* the date of Dr. Bob's last drink.

The end of paragraph two says alot of the power of one alcoholic
talking with another - "Of far more importance was the fact that he
was the first living human with whom I had ever talked, who knew
what he was talking about in regard to alcoholism from actual
experience. In other words, be talked my language. He knew all the
answers, and certainly not because he had picked them up in his
reading." The barrier had been breached!

"Passing it on" was important to Bob - the last paragraph on page
180 and continuing on to the top of the following page. "I spend a
great deal of time passing on what I learned to others who want and
need it badly. I do it for four reasons:

1. Sense of duty.
2. It is a pleasure.
3. Because in so doing I am paying my debt to the man who took time
to pass it on to me.
4. Because every time I do it I take out a little more insurance for
myself against a possible slip."

The ending of his story boils down to the essence of how important
an open mind is in order to accept what we have to offer. The
assumption is that the motivation to seek sobriety is in place, that
we are ready to listen to conviction as only the dying can be:

"If you think you are an atheist, an agnostic, a skeptic, or have
any other form of intellectual pride which keeps you from accepting
what is in this book, I feel sorry for you. If you still think you
are strong enough to beat the game alone, that is your affair. But
if you really and truly want to quit drinking liquor for good and
all, and sincerely feel that you must have some help, we know that
we have an answer for you. It never fails if you go about it with one
half the zeal you have been in the habit of showing when getting
another drink.

"Your Heavenly Father will never let you down!"

* - An interesting historical note: Because the AMA Convention in
Atlantic City began on June 10, 1935 there is the real possibility,
according to some researchers, that Dr. Bob got sober on June 17,
1935. Not that it really matters all that much...

We'll begin again with the guidelines and follow with the first post
of the new cycle with our next post.

Thanks to everyone who has participated in this cycle. Pass on the
link to this group:

http://groups.yahoo.com/neo/groups/bigbookmeeting/info

so that your other friends may share in what you have found.

Jim