More Recovery Readings - December

[bluidkiti]

December 1

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
Go rich in poverty. Go rich in poetry. --May Sarton
Poetry lets us put the beauty of nature--the clouds, the flowers, and the waterfall--into words. Poetry lets us see that things, which appear to be opposites, may just be different ways of looking at the same thing. How can we be rich in poverty? Wealth in poverty means finding pleasure in simplicity, finding the core of what's important, and saying it in the fewest possible words.
We are so often caught up in the pursuit of more--more money, more toys, more prestige that we forget how satisfying the simple things can be. Think of the beauty of a sunset or a walk by the river, the fun of playing in a sandbox or swinging on the swings in the park, or in simply taking time to get something done the right way, without hurry.
What riches lie around me right this moment?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
In the depths of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer. --Albert Camus
Sometimes we suddenly see or sense opposite emotions within ourselves. The cold of winter presses in on us, and we may feel tested by its bite. Yet, when we think we cannot bear it a moment longer, we find a counterforce within, an inner reassurance that comes like a summer breeze and says we can do what we must. Perhaps it comes in a time of dark despair, and we realize that at least we've made it this far. We are pretty tough. In our deepest sadness about the loss of a love, we may find a more meaningful contact with our Higher Power.
The opposites in our lives may tempt us to fight them. One side may be very clear and obvious while the other side is hidden. When we are open, these extremes are spiritual teachers for us. As we think about life and our feelings today, what opposites do we find?
Today, I will remember that I have an invincible summer at the deepest part of winter in my life.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
And it isn't the thing you do, dear,
It's the thing you leave undone
Which gives you a bit of a heartache
At the setting of the sun.
--Margaret Sangster
A quality we all share, a very human quality, is to expect perfection from ourselves, to expect the impossible in all tasks done. We must rejoice for the good we do. Each time we pat ourselves on the back for a job well done, our confidence grows a little bit more. Recovery is best measured by our emotional and spiritual health, expressed in our apparent confidence and trust in "the process."
We need to recognize and celebrate our strong points, and they'll gain even more strength. Likewise, we need to practice prayer and listening to guidance first to develop our ties to God, but more importantly to be able to acknowledge when help is at hand. We can do all we need to do with God's help.
Having goals but keeping them realistic, for the day or the year, is a sign of emotional health. Not dwelling on those that can't be accomplished, at the moment, is another sign. A change of attitude is all most of us need to move from where we are to a better place emotionally.
There's never a better time than right now for rejoicing over what I've done.


You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
Letting People Be There for Us
Sometimes, we need nurturing. Sometimes, we need people to support us.
Many of us have been deprived of support and nurturing for so long we may not realize it's something we want and need. Many of us have learned to block our stop ourselves from getting what we want and need.
We may not reach out to have our needs met. We may be in relationships with people who cannot or will not be available to meet our needs. Or we may be in relationships with people who would be happy to respond to a direct request from us.
We may have to give up something to do this. We may have to let go of our martyr or victim role. If we ask for what we want and need, and get those needs met, we will not be able to punish people, or push them away later on, for disappointing us.
We may have to let go of our fears enough to experience the intimacy that will occur when we allow someone to love and support us. We may even have to learn, one day at a time, how to be happy and content.
Learn to let others be there for us.
Today, I will be open to identifying what I need from people, and I will ask for what I want directly. I will let others be there for me.


I am okay about me today and that is terrific. --Ruth Fishel

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Journey To The Heart

Let Yourself Be Who You Are

It’s difficult to be around people who are trying to be perfect– perfectly healthy , perfectly polite, perfectly poised, perfectly controlled.

Remember that being human means being imperfect, being flawed. Let yourself be. Let others be. Slouch in your chair. Eat with the wrong fork. Laugh out loud. Stand up and reveal who you are and know that you’re good enough.

Stop worrying that people will find out who you really are. Instead, hope that they do. Help them by openly sharing yourself and being not who you think you should be, but who you really are.

Freedom is just a small step away– a step into self-love and acceptance. When you take it, others will follow. And they’ll be grateful you led the way.

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More Language Of Letting Go

Say how sweet it is

Many of us have been seeking diligently for the meaning of life, at least for the meaning of our lives. I thought I had found it when I began recovering from chemical dependency. Aha, I thought. The meaning of life is to stay sober. Then along came codependecy and my need to recover from those issues. Surely, the seach for enlightenment would culminate there.

No, not yet.

It was as if there was a big locked metal door. On one side of it was supreme knowledge of why we’re here, that elusive “thing” called enlightenment. I was on the other side of the door, locked out, searching for the key.

Over the years, I’ve been to therapists, doctors, and healers. I’ve used homeopathy, kinesiology, acupuncture, and acupressure. In my youth, I tried alcohol and drugs, thinking they were the answer. I looked for the answer to the meaning of life in relationships. Then I searched for enlightenent by avoiding commitment and romantic love at any cost. I’ve tried Gestalt therapy, transactional analysis, hypnotherapy, prayer, and meditation,too. Over the past twenty-seven years, I’ve actively participated in more than one Twelve Step program in this quest for truth.

I’ve dutifully plodded through the grinding work so many people have come to know as family of origin work. Hooray, I finally found and healed my inner child. I even have a fuzzy teddy bear on the floor next to my bed. After my son died, I stayed with every moment of my grief until I worked through it by finally accepting the lifetime handicap that I would live in spite of the loss of Shane.

I’ve perused A Course in Miracles, learning with Marianne Williamson’s help about the magic of love in all its myriad shapes and forms. At last, I opened my heart. But the search for enlightenment eluded me. I wasn’t depressed, but my spirit ached.

I started traveling, first around the United States and then around the world. I visited the vortexes of Sedona, the ancient Anasazi village in Chaco Canyon, and the Santuarior de Chimayo, the blessed Mexican church. I should have been glowing in the dark. Occasionally, I glimpsed the Light. But I still didn’t understand what life was all about. Maybe tomorrow I’ll find that key, I’d think. It seemed as if enlightenment was always one day, one step, one therapist, one book, one healer away. Over twenty years ago, when I was already well immersed in this quest, a trusted friend told me that the secret to life was simple: there wasn’t one. Maybe my friend was right. Maybe I was looking for something that didn’t exist.

One day, I stopped looking. It wasn’t that I gave up. I gave in. I stopped waiting to win the spiritual lottery. Stopped trying to become enlightened. Stopped looking for that perfect soul mate. And started surrendering to enjoying each moment of my life– just as it is.

That’s when I found joy. Or maybe joy found me.

The key to enlightenment might be simpler than we think. We’re here to experience joy. Look at each moment in your life and learn to say, How sweet it is.

God, help me learn joy.

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Learning To Meditate
From the Learning To Meditate On-Line Course

by Madisyn Taylor

The following is an excerpt from the "Learning to Meditate" on-line course. If you would like to take the entire course, click here.

My wish for you is that meditation can be an opportunity to begin a simple practice of self-acceptance and self-love. If the mere idea of meditating feels uncomfortable—or scary even, that's okay. Exploring unknown territory usually does. But don't worry, you won't turn into a hippie, have to change your friends, or pack up and move to a commune in order to reap the benefits of your meditation practice. This is a gift you're giving yourself and nobody even needs to know you are meditating, but you just might love it so much that you will want to teach your friends and family.

Let's take a moment to get clear on what meditation really is. The term "meditation" can refer to any process that leads you to an inner state of relaxed awareness. There needn't be any big mystery or drama about the process itself, and there's really no right or wrong way of doing it. There are simply different techniques that can be used as tools to help you focus and quiet your mind, and we'll work with some of these as the weeks unfold. This will allow you to choose which method works best for you as a person. We have all seen the vision of the yogi sitting crossed legged wearing robes and perhaps meditating in a cave. This is not what meditation is about for most of us and starting with an unrealistic idea of what meditation is about won't make it an enjoyable experience for you. I still have a hard time quieting my mind and I find that my meditation practice is more fulfilling for me while I'm in nature. Our main purpose here is to help you develop a meditation pra! ctice that's right for you. It'll be something you feel comfortable doing and that you're willing and able to do regularly.

For those of us who already have a meditation routine, we've come to depend on the way our practice enhances our lives. We've discovered an ever-present source of inner peace and wisdom from which we can now draw strength, courage, clarity and compassion. It has become easier to respond to situations from a calm and grounded place, rather than acting out old dysfunctional patterns. We're also better able to navigate our lives in alignment with our own needs and goals. By giving ourselves the space to simply be ourselves, many of the distractions from other people's agendas melt away. For many of us, meditation has become an important way to take really good care of ourselves. You wouldn't dream about leaving your house in the morning without bathing or brushing your teeth and this is eventually how you will feel about your practice. A morning meditation will give you the quiet confidence and the strength you will need for your day.

Research has linked a regular practice of meditation to reduced levels of anxiety and stress, in addition to improved immune function and a host of other health benefits. Studies have shown that the nervous system actually begins responding differently to stressful situations—creativity flows more freely and new solutions begin to emerge. What's wonderful is that many of these advantages occur after just one session and continue evolving with regular practice. As you develop your own meditation program, you'll be able to track the benefits for yourself, from changes in your mood to improvements in your energy. Soon you will find yourself reacting from a place of centered calm rather than from your head.

GETTING STARTED

The best results of meditation are seen in those who make it a regular practice. And as with anything, practicing consistently carves out a behavioral pattern that becomes more established and easier to follow over time. Try not to be hard on yourself as you begin this process. You're the only one who can take this journey and the best place to start is right where you are. At first you may not be able to sit for more than a few minutes and that's ok, but soon you'll be meditating for 10, 20 or 30 minutes with ease. The idea is to get a habit started, so aim for consistency (i.e., meditating 10 minutes a day, every day) over longer sessions (i.e., meditating for a whole half hour, every once in a while).

You generally don't need to purchase anything to start a meditation routine and no special equipment or clothing is required as long as you're comfortable. Some people buy what's known as a meditation cushion, but it's certainly not necessary. Some also find that lighting a candle or incense signals an official start to their meditation and this can help the mind to focus. (Chimes, singing bowls and bells may also be used for this purpose.) Next week, we'll be exploring some particular meditation practices that use candles and incense, so if you don't already have these around your home, you may want to get some that you'll enjoy working with.

It is not uncommon for inspiring ideas and solutions to emerge during meditation. I always have a journal with me so I can jot down what comes up and return to my session without fear of losing the idea. You may want to experiment with this as well. It can help your mind return to silence.

Positioning

Let's explore a few different ways of sitting. You may be familiar with the classic lotus position or half-lotus position (see photos below) in which many long-term meditators are pictured. This position is ideal because it allows for a balanced and unobstructed flow of energy throughout the energy centers of your body. Some people cannot sit this way because they are physically inflexible or having back or knee issues. You may find that over time you gain the flexibility to meditate in the lotus position; or, you may simply decide that an alternate posture works better for you. Please don't feel that you have to sit in these positions right away, it can take time to build up to it.

The key to remember when selecting your meditation position is that you'll want to keep your back straight and your palms open or facing upward. There are a few different positions for your hands to take during meditation, but for the purpose of this course we will place our hands open toward the sky and having them rest on your thighs, knees or ankles depending on what is comfortable once you are in position with the rest of your body.

Here are some positions you might try:

Using a Chair: Sit with your feet on the floor, spine straight against the back of the chair, and your shoulders back. If needed, you can add a pillow behind you for lower back support.

On the Floor: Sit crossed legged or in half or full lotus position. You may want to place a pillow under your tailbone for comfort.

On the Floor, against the Wall: If you have trouble getting your back straight, start out sitting against a wall. If necessary, fold up a small towel to tuck under your tailbone. This is usually the easiest position for beginners, with a wall supporting the back. Over time your muscles will get stronger and the support of a wall will likely become unnecessary.

In Your Bed: If sitting up straight is difficult or painful for you, start out lying down. Most of us associate our bed with sleeping and this can be a problem, as it may create the tendency to fall asleep. But turn yourself 90 degrees on the bed if it's big enough, or turn yourself 180 degrees and do not use pillows—this may trick your mind to stay awake, as your head will be at a different place than it usually is during the night. Once you have more meditation experience under your belt, try to move from the bed. The bed may also be used in a sitting position with your back against your headboard and pillows placed under your hipbones to get a nice straight spine. Published with permission from Daily OM

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A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

It has truly been said that “We become what we do.” It’s emphasized to us over and over in The Program that our thoughts and actions toward others color and shape our spiritual lives. Words and acts of kindness, generosity, thoughtfulness and forgiveness serve to strengthen those qualities within us that heighten our consciousness of God’s love. In asking God to direct and guide my life, am I also asking love to take over and lead me where it will?

Today I Pray

May I make a resolute attempt at acting out the way I want to be — loving, forgiving, kind, thoughtful. May I be aware that each small, attentive act carries with it an echo of God’s all-caring. For God so loved the world; may we make His love our example.

Today I Will Remember

We become what we do.

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One More Day

The wise man looks at death with honesty, dignityu and calm, recognizing that the tragedy it brings is inherent in the great gift of life.
– Corliss Lamont

Chronic illness trends to heighten our awareness of the fragility of life. Some of us may even become concerned that due to poor health we may not live as long as we’d once expected.

To ease our fears, we may feel better if we initiated a conversation with family members about dying. Since each one of us have personal ideas about how we would like our funeral handled — which hymns, who will say the eulogy, and where it should be held — it only makes sense to share that information with loved ones. Few people feel comfortable talking about the possibility of dying, but with a straightforward discussion we can, at least for a while, set aside our own anxieties.

I am comforted knowing my family understands my fears and needs.

[bluidkiti]

December 2

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
When one is a stranger to oneself, then one is estranged from others, too. --Anne Morrow Lindbergh
There's a person inside each of us just itching to be known and loved. But if we don't get to know and love that person, how can we expect anyone else to know us?
That's why it's so important to spend time alone getting acquainted with ourselves. And how do we do that? We can sit quietly with ourselves, thinking and listening. Then we can write our thoughts in a journal, or we can draw or paint them. If we play a musical instrument, we can put our thoughts and feelings into music.
When we make the time and effort to know ourselves, it encourages others to want to know us, too. Since everything we do and feel begins inside us, we must feel good about ourselves in order to feel good about anything else. What wonders we are, that we have all the power we need to make our world a happy one!
How do I feel about myself today?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
The management assumes no responsibility for what is found. --Abraham Maslow
There are so many occasions when we would like to blame somebody--wife, child, parent, or "the management," for our feelings. When we get frustrated, overworked, or angry, we want somebody else to take responsibility. In truth, each of us has his own path and is responsible for his feelings. One man said that living alone made it clear to him that his wife wasn't creating his feelings. Until then he thought she was responsible.
This blaming and not taking responsibility keep a man in the role of victim. When we accept the difficult message that our feelings are ours to deal with and no one else's, self-improvement begins. We begin to walk the difficult but self respecting path of spiritual awakening. We can do something about whatever hurts. Even in that awakening there are no guarantees that who we are will be totally what we want to find. Our only guarantee is that our Higher Power is with us to deal with the realities of our lives.
Today, help me be responsible for what I feel and do.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
The old woman I shall become will be quite different from the woman I am now. Another I is beginning . . . --George Sand
Change is constant. And we are always becoming. Each chance, each feeling, each responsibility we commit ourselves to adds to the richness of our womanhood. We are not yesterday's woman, today. Our new awarenesses have brought us beyond her. And we can't go back without knowing, somehow, that she no longer meets the needs of today.
We can look forward to our changes, to the older woman we are becoming. She will have the wisdom that we still lack. She will have learned to live and let live. She will have acquired, through years of experiences, a perspective that lends sanity to all situations.
The lessons we are learning today, the pain that overwhelms us now and again, are nurturing the developing woman within each of us. If only we could accept the lessons and master them. If only we could trust the gift of change that accompanies the pain.
I am becoming. And with the becoming, comes peace. I can sense it today. I know where I was yesterday.


You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
Putting Our Life on Hold
We cannot afford to put our needs on hold, waiting for another person to fulfill us, make our life better, or come around and be who and what we want that person to be. That will create resentment, hostility, an unhealthy dependency, and a mess to deal with later on.
If we have decided we want a particular relationship or want to wait about making a decision in a particular relationship, then we must go on with our own life in the interim.
That can be hard. It can feel natural to put our life on hold. That is when we get caught up in the codependent beliefs: That person can make me happy... I need that particular person to do a particular thing in order to be happy....
That's a circumstance that can hook our low self-esteem, our self-doubt, and our tendency to neglect ourselves.
We can get into this situation in a number of ways. We can do this waiting for a letter, waiting for a job, waiting for a person, waiting for an event.
We do not have to put our life on hold. There will be repercussions from doing this. Go on with your life. Take life a day at a time.
What is something I could be doing now to take care of myself, make myself feel better, get my needs met in an appropriate, healthy way?
How can I own my power to take care of myself, despite what the other person is or isn't doing?
What will happen if I break the system and begin taking care of myself?
Sometimes, we get the answer we want immediately. Sometimes, we wait for a while. Sometimes, things don't work out exactly the way we hoped. But they always work out for good, and often better than we expected.
And in the meantime, we have manifested love for ourselves by living our own life and taking the control away from others. That always comes back to us tenfold, because when we actually manifest love for ourselves, we give our Higher Power, other people, and the Universe permission to send us the love we want and need. Stopping living our life to make a thing happen doesn't work. All it does is make us miserable, because we have stopped living our life.
Today, I will force myself, if necessary, to live my own life. I will act in my own best interest, in a way that reflects self-love. If I have given power or control of my life to someone other than myself, and someone besides a Power greater than myself, I will take it back. I will begin acting in my own best interests, even if it feels awkward to do that.


No matter what is going on in my life today, I can always find something for which to be grateful. When I stop and think about this and make a gratitude list, there is no room for depression or self pity. There is so much to be grateful for today. --Ruth Fishel

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Journey To The Heart

Learn to Visualize Your Path

Learn to visualize what you would like to see happen in your life. Use your mind and your imagination, in connection with your heart, to create a picture of the future.

Visions can help create our future and guide us down the path. If we have a picture of where we’re going, it will help us know when we get there. It will help us know we’re on track.

At times, we find ourselves easily using our imaginations to create a clear picture. We can see ourselves doing something a particular way, comfortably functioning in a particular situation. We can see how what we’re working on is going to look. We can see ourselves living in a particular place, working at a particular job, or vacationing at that special spot. We know clearly what we want.

Other times, our vision may not be as clear. We may have only a few vague ideas about how a thing or place will look. We need to focus our attention and create as clear a picture as we can. Making a list of all we know about what we’d like it to be helps here.

Other times, we may be completely in the dark without a clue about where we’re going. That doesn’t mean we can’t get there or that there is no place for us to go. It means that we need to ask God, the universe, to help us become clear on what would be good, clear enough so we can recognize the answer when it comes.

Learn to use your imagination to create the life you want. Take time at the beginning to develop a vision, an idea about what you want. Visualize how you would like things to be. Then let your vision guide you where you need to go.

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More Language Of Letting Go

The lesson is joy

I was visiting a counselor in Minnesota one cold January day in 1991. We were talking about the present and speculating about the lessons to come. She grabbed my hand and looked at me, looked right into my eyes. “This I know for sure,” she said. “You’ve been through enough pain. Now you’re going to learn about joy.”

One week later, my son Shane died.

Mixed in with my grief was rage. I was so angry with her for saying that. It was another instance of getting my hopes up that I could finally be happy. Now, I felt tricked and let down.

The years passed slowly. I lost almost everything, including my desire to write. Nichole graduated from high school. Then she moved out of the house, and to New York. Life kept changing and moving along, in spite of how I felt.

One year I noticed that the anniversary of Shane’s death had passed, and I hadn’t become depressed. Then I began to notice something else. I was beginning to feel alive, vibrant, awestruck with life. It wasn’t a naive assumption that whatever I wanted, I’d get. It was a newfound ability to surrender to each moment and enjoy what life brought my way. I made new friends. My relationships with old friends changed. What inspired me was my new relationship with life. I stopped looking for outward circumstances to provide me with happiness. I began to see that I held that key myself.

If you’re going through something in your life that isn’t what you planned, a transformation is at hand. While we might prefer to be transformed in the twinkling of an eye, it usually doesn’t happen that fast. It takes all the moments added together, and sometimes those moments go on and on. But one day when you least expect it– a phoenix rises from the ashes. That phoenix is you.

Some of us encounter a lot of pain. Some of us have less. If I could sit across from you right now, I’d look into your eyes and say these words to you: “I know you’ve been through a lot. But there’s a new cycle coming. You’re going to learn about joy.”

Life is going to take you on your own journey of personal transformation. You may have let go of some things. But don’t worry, you’ll get some of those things back. And sometimes when we think something is lost, it’s not. It’s just moved to a different place. No pain, no gain, is what many people say. And usually they say that because when the lesson is learned, the pain stops. But then something happens. It just clicks in. The moments start getting better and better. And it’s not because of what we get. It happens because we’ve surrendered. And although it looks like what we’ve surrendered to is pain and heartache, we’ve really surrendered to God’s will.

There’s a world out there– right outside your door. And the key that opens the door is in your hand. The ultimate lesson is learning joy. Put your fears aside. Live your life, whatever that means to you today. It may happen today, tomorrow, next week, or in ten years. but you won’t be able to help yourself. You’ll throw your hat up in the air, look around, and shout, “Oh my God, how sweet life is.”

God, help me get through my lessons, one by one. Then bring me to that place where I learn about joy.

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Choosing Not To Be a Target
Emotional Attacks

Hurtful confrontations often leave us feeling drained and confused. When someone attacks us emotionally, we may wonder what we did to rouse their anger, and we take their actions personally. We may ask ourselves what we could have done to compel them to behave or speak that way toward us. It’s important to remember that there are no real targets in an emotional attack and that it is usually a way for the attacker to redirect their uncomfortable feelings away from themselves. When people are overcome by strong emotions, like hurt or anguish, they may see themselves as victims and lash out at others as a means of protection or to make themselves feel better. You may be able to shield yourself from an emotional attack by not taking the behavior personally. First, however, it is good to cultivate a state of detachment that can provide you with some protection from the person who is attacking you. This will allow you to feel compassion for this person and remember that their beha! vior isn’t as much about you as it is about their need to vent their emotions.

If you have difficulty remaining unaffected by someone’s behavior, take a moment to breathe deeply and remind yourself that you didn’t do anything wrong, and you aren’t responsible for people’s feelings. If you can see that this person is indirectly expressing a need to you—whether they are reaching out for help or wanting to be heard—you may be able to diffuse the attack by getting them to talk about what is really bothering them.

You cannot control other people’s emotions, but you can control your own. If you sense yourself responding to their negativity, try not to let yourself. Keep your heart open to them, and they may let go of their defensiveness and yield to your compassion and openness. Published with permission from Daily OM

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A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

Once at a meeting held in a church, I saw a stained glass window on which was written, “God Is Love.” For some reason, my mind transposed the words into “Love Is God.” Either way is correct and true, I realized, looking about me and becoming even more conscious of the spirit of love and Power in the small meeting room. I’ll continue to seek out that love and Power, following The Program as if my life depended upon it — as indeed it does. Does life to me today mean living — in the active sense — joyously and comfortably?

Today I Pray

May I feel the spirit of love that gives our prayers their energy. May I feel the oneness in this room, the concentration of love that gives the group its power. May I feel the exemplary love of a Higher Power, which our love echoes.

Today I Will Remember

Love Is God.

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One More Day

Habituation is a falling asleep or fatiguing of the sense of time; which explains why young years pass slowly, while later life finds itself faster and faster upon its course.
–Thomas Mann

Our routines can become so rote that we’re unaware of making choices. Suddenly, we realize we haven’t done many of the things which matter most to us. With this realization comes another: sometimes making no choice is, in fact a choice in the same things, saying the same words, living a copy of the day before – we have chosen to live safely. But we may think, I wish I had…

We don’t have to completely change our lives in order to make better choices for ourselves. All we have to do is see all the choices open to us.

What and how I choose makes every day different from the last.

[bluidkiti]

December 3

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
I wonder if the snow loves the trees and fields that it kisses them so gently. --Lewis Carroll
In different times and places, clouds can produce snowflakes, raindrops, or even hailstones. Each one seems to have its own purpose and mood as it falls from the sky. The snowflake is the lightest of these, and so it falls slowly and softly. Rainfall can be soft or hard. It sometimes feels angry, almost cleansing.
No matter how thick the snowfall is, it is still soft. We can rarely hear it land. It covers the world in a peaceful white. If we look closely, we can see that each small snowflake is unique.
Like the snowflakes, each of us has a unique design. Perhaps what we can learn from the snowflakes is how to gently touch the lives and growing things around us. Times of anger and rain are necessary, but a soft snowfall brings peace to all humanity.
How can I show my gentle side today?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
Sometimes I go about pitying myself, and all the time I am being carried, on great winds across the sky. --Ojibway
"Ah, poor me," we sometimes say, "I have to work so hard!" "I have so much stress!" "If only my problem with money would get better, then I could be content!" "I just don't understand women!" "Why can't my family have fewer troubles?" This attitude of self-pity is as ancient as humanity. The Ojibway recognized blindness to the spiritual path. Every man has problems and challenges, and life often is not fair. Self-pity becomes a stumbling block when we get so narrowly focused upon our problems. We forget we are a part of a whole throng of fellow pilgrims on this path. It helps to notice others beside ourselves who are seeking courage to live their lives.
Sometimes we reawaken our awareness of our Higher Power by seeing that we are "carried on great winds across the sky." We have many blessings; we are not alone. Often within problems we discover our greatest blessings.
God, help me find the spiritual path in the choices I make today. Help me turn away from self-pity.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
Sometimes, sisters have the same journey in their hearts. One may help the other or betray her. Will they cross over? Will the ship sail without them? --Louise Bernikow
Other women share our struggle. When we treat our women friends as sisters and fellow pilgrims, we find great joy in our mutual help. We pray for the wisdom to let go our feelings of insecurity and rivalry with other women.
Rivalry is not good for us. It leads us to forget our own unique qualities. We each are the best person in the world at one thing: being ourselves. When we compete, we need to retain a balanced perspective and to think well of ourselves whether we win or lose. We run the best race we can; therefore, let us not regard other women as rivals. They are our sisters, and they, too, are doing the best they can.
Today, I will pray for the serenity that will let me see when my sisters have the same journey in their hearts as I.


You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
Developing Healthy Tolerance
Many of us are skilled at denying and discounting what hurts us. We may endure a particular situation, telling ourselves repeatedly it's not that bad; we shouldn't be so demanding; it'll change any day; we should be able to live with it; it doesn't annoy us; the other person didn't really mean it; it doesn't hurt; maybe it's just us.
We may fight and argue with ourselves about the reality and validity of our pain - our right to feel it and do something about it.
Often we will tolerate too much or so much that we become furious and refuse to tolerate any more.
We can learn to develop healthy tolerance.
We do that by setting healthy boundaries and trusting ourselves to own our power with people. We can lessen our pain and suffering by validating and paying attention to ourselves. We can work at shortening the time between identifying a need to set a boundary, and taking clear, direct action.
We aren't crazy. Some behaviors really do bug us. Some behaviors really are inappropriate, annoying, hurtful, or abusive.
We don't have to feel guilty about taking care of ourselves once we identify a boundary that needs to be set. Look at the experience as an experiment in owning our power, in establishing new, healthy boundaries and limits for ourselves.
We don't have to feel guilty or apologize or explain ourselves after we've set a boundary. We can learn to accept the awkwardness and discomfort of setting boundaries with people. We can establish our rights to have these limits. We can give the other person room to have and explore his or her feelings; we can give ourselves room to have our feelings - as we struggle to own our power and create good, working relationships.
Once we can trust our ability to take care of ourselves, we will develop healthy reasonable tolerance of others.
God, help me begin striving for healthy boundaries and healthy tolerance for others and myself.


I am beginning to trust myself today. There is a place deep within me that tells me that I am okay and guides me along my path in recovery. --Ruth Fishel

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Journey To The Heart
December 3, 2012
Let Go of Leftover Guilt

Why do you feel guilty when you’re doing what you’ve been led to do?

That nagging, gnawing feeling of guilt is leftovers– leftovers from another period when we didn’t love ourselves. It’s left over from another time when we didn’t trust ourselves. Left over from another place when we didn’t know life could be fun, easy, natural, and joy could be ours.

Feeling guilty and anxious about that new thing you’re doing, that new place you’re going, that new adventure you’re on is part of your resistance to the lesson. Part of your shying back from the idea that you can truly, absolutely, and fundamentally love yourself and enjoy all parts of your life.

Soon you will see that you’ve been led to the very place you’re at right now. The very thing you are feeling guilty and anxious about is the very thing you’ve been led to do to take you on your next adventure.

Life is abundant. We can bask in self-love and the healing resources around us. Our movements, our activities, our days and hours and nights can flow easily. Naturally. And we can do the things we’re led to do without feeling guilty.

Recognize the guilt and anxiety of resistance as just that: resistance. Then let yourself go on your journey of love without spoiling it with guilt.

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More Language Of Letting Go

Enjoy the void

We begin to walk down a path– recovery, a new job, a new relationship. We’re busy, even overwhelmed, with everything that lies before us. We work and work and walk our path and grow. Then one day the relationship changes. The job changes. Or we’re far anough along to look past the next minute of sobriety and when we look, we can’t see anything.

We get scared. Nothingness can be frightening. There’s no way to plan for the future. We can’t make the right move. We’re surrounded with decisions, and none of them feel like the right ones.

Relax. Savor this moment,too. Stop trying to fill it up. You’re in the void, that magical place from which all creation arises. Breathe the air, look at the flowers, feel the sun. Or build a fire to keep you warm. There’s no need to be frightened of this place; there’s nothing you need to do. Keep walking your path, and the creative way will become clear to you soon.

God, help me to let go of worry when I’m in the in-between places in my life. Help me to walk in peace and let the universe show me the path that I am to follow. Help me relax in this space and garner energy for the journey ahead.

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Relating to the Negative
The Danger of Repression

by Madisyn Taylor

When negative thoughts arise it is best to address them rather than pushing them down where they will surface again.


For the last several years, there has been a lot of focus on the power of positive thinking. Many people have come to misinterpret this wisdom to mean that it is not okay to have a bad mood or a negative thought or feeling. This can lend a kind of superficiality to their relationship with life and relationships with other people. It can also lead them to feel that if a negative thought or feeling comes up, in themselves or someone else, they must immediately block it out. When they do this, they are engaging in the act of repressing a part of themselves that needs to seen, heard, and processed.

When we repress parts of ourselves, they don’t go away so much as they get buried deep within us, and they often come out when we least expect it. On the other hand, if we allow ourselves to be fully human, honoring all the thoughts, feelings, and moods that pass through us on a given day, we create a more conscious relationship with ourselves. Instead of blocking out thoughts and feelings that we label as negative, we can simply observe them and then let them go. They only get stuck when we react to them negatively, pushing them down and out of sight where they get lodged in our unconscious minds. A healthier solution might be to develop a practice of following any negative thought we may have with a positive thought. This works well because positive thoughts are many times more powerful than negative thoughts.

Rather than setting our minds up in such a way that we become fearful of the contents of our own consciousness, blocking out anything that is less than 100 percent positive, we might resolve to develop a friendlier attitude toward ourselves, trusting in our inherent goodness. When we recognize our true inner worth, a few dark clouds passing through our minds will not intimidate us. We will see them for what they are—small, dark figures passing through an expansive sky of well-being and truth. Published with permission from Daily OM

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A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

Our ancient enemy, self-will, wears a mask, confronting me with this sort of rationalization: “Why do I have to lean on God? Hasn’t He already given me the intelligence to think for myself?” I have to pause when such thoughts creep into my mind, remembering that I’ve never really been able to bring about the results I wanted simply by relying on my own devices. I’m not self-sufficient, nor do I know all the answers; bitter experience alone teaches me that. Do I know that I need God’s guidance? Am I willing to accept it?

Today I Pray

I pray that, as I become stronger in my conviction and in my sobriety, I will not begin to shrug off my dependence on a Higher Power. May I continue to pray for guidance, even when things seem to be going along smoothly. May I know that I need my Higher Power as much in times of triumph as in times of trauma.

Today I Will Remember

Self-sufficiency is a godless myth.

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One More Day

Happiness is not being pained in body nor troubled in mind. -Thomas Jefferson

Teenagers say it all the time: “Hey! Mellow Out! Hype down!” These words may be alien to us, but we can listen to these somewhat flippant admonitions.

Perhaps we do get too tense at times during certain phases of our lives. Pain, anxiety, or stress can cause us to tighten our muscles, to brace our bodies against the impact of our medical problems. The tighter our bodies become, the less patient and kind we are to those we love.

To help ourselves “mellow out” we first have to identify the feelings associated with tenseness. We can calm down by taking deep, slow, cleansing breaths. Let’s do ourselves a favor and learn to relax, to mellow out.

By learning to let my body rest and relax, I can concentrate on keeping my mind free and untroubled.

[bluidkiti]

December 4

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
They were the first . . . self-created people in the history of the world. And their manners were their own business. And so were their politics. And so, but ten times so, were their souls. --Archibald MacLeish
There once was a child named Yemaya. Even before she could walk or talk, her mother introduced her to the trees. Yemaya touched them and they accepted her. They told her she was wonderful and she knew it was true.
As she grew up, Yemaya occasionally met people who said unkind things to her. When this happened, she went back to her trees, who continued to tell her she was just fine. She couldn't understand what was wrong with those who were mean to her. Whenever they appeared and insisted on being mean, she pretended what they said was an arrow that sailed right by as she stepped out of the way.
We can do the same. What others say or think is part of them and their lives, not ours. When we are wise enough to let go of things that don't belong to us, we will find our own treasures.
What can I step out of the way of today?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
"He doesn't talk to me," says a woman. "I don't know what she wants me to talk about," says a man. --Lillian B. Rubin
We have often heard that it's better to be men of deeds, not words. In our relationships with other males, we have learned to do things together, work together, or play a sport together. But in our relationships with women, we often see the other side of this coin. If we haven't learned to express our thoughts and feelings, the women in our lives may request or demand that we learn now. There is nothing wrong with our not yet having this skill, and there is nothing wrong with women longing to talk with us.
A close relationship promotes talking, and revealing thoughts and feelings. Words, when we are honest, are ways of becoming clearer and being more personal. We have the right to stumble around with our words. We also have the right to feel unsure of ourselves or frightened of saying what we feel. That kind of fear is the excitement of being close to someone we love.
Today, I will express my feelings and ideas so others can know me better.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
I want to feel myself part of things, of the great drift and swirl; not cut off, missing things, like being sent to bed early as a child. --Joanna Field
Feeling apart from the action and always looking on; wanting attention, and yet afraid of being noticed; no doubt these are familiar memories to most of us. We may still struggle with our self-perception, but we can celebrate that we no longer drown our moods. Connecting with the people next to us, though difficult, is no longer impossible when we rely on the program.
There is a way to be a part of the action, a way that never fails. It takes only a small effort, really. We can simply look, with love, at someone nearby today and extend our hearts in honest attention. When we make someone else feel special, we'll become special too.
Recovery can help each of us move beyond the boundaries of our own ego. Trusting that our lives are in the loving care of God, however we understand God, relieves us of the need for self-centeredness. We can let go of ourselves now that God is in charge, and we'll discover that we have joined the action.
I will open my heart, and I'll be joined to all that's around me.


You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
Letting Go
"How much do we need to let go of?" a friend asked one day.
"I'm not certain," I replied, "but maybe everything."
Letting go is a spiritual, emotional, mental, and physical process, a sometimes mysterious metaphysical process of releasing to God and the Universe that which we are clinging to so tightly.
We let go of our grasp on people, outcomes, ideas, feelings, wants, needs, desires - everything. We let go of trying to control our progress in recovery. Yes, it's important to acknowledge and accept what we want and what we want to happen. But it's equally important to follow through by letting go.
Letting go is the action part of faith. It is a behavior that gives God and the Universe permission to send us what we're meant to have.
Letting go means we acknowledge that hanging on so tightly isn't helping to solve the problem, change the person, or get the outcome we desire. It isn't helping us. In fact, we learn that hanging on often blocks us from getting what we want and need.
Who are we to say that things aren't happening exactly as they need to happen?
There is magic in letting go. Sometimes we get what we want soon after we let go. Sometimes it takes longer. Sometimes the specific outcome we desire doesn't happen. Something better does.
Letting go sets us free and connects us to our Source.
Letting go creates the optimum environment for the best possible outcomes and solutions.
Today, I will relax. I will let go of that which is upsetting me the most. I will trust that by letting go, I have started the wheels in motion for things to work out in the best possible way.


I am getting to know myself today. I accept who I am today. I like myself today. --Ruth Fishel

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Journey To The Heart

You Decide

This is an old lesson, but it bears repeating and remembering. We don’t have to let anyone control our lives, our choices, our joy.

No matter how well we thought we learned that lesson, it often reappears. Another person starts to pull our strings. We get involved, entangled, hooked in. We hear ourselves singing an old tune– If only she would, if only he wouldn’t, then I would be… We realize that once again we have given up too much control. We have deferred our lives to the wishes, whims, and choices of another.

Yes, if we are living fully, we will have reactions to those around us. Our relationships will help shape us, teach us things. And yes, there are times we are so connected to others, love them so much, that their path does affect ours. But we don’t have to let another person control our choices, our behaviors, or our lives.

Maybe she will. Maybe he won’t. But what about you? What do you want? What course of action feels right for you, for your life? Do you want to assign responsibility for whether you take that course to another? Do you really?

Sometimes, no matter how much you love others, it’s time to let go, time to let them walk their path. Time to realize that it is your responsibility to walk your own. Go in love. Go in peace. Go in gentle power. You are responsible for your life. You are responsible for your choices. It doesn’t matter what the other person does. You are still responsible for you.

Take care of yourself, then take it one step further. Love, nurture, honor, and respect yourself.

Only you can decide what you’re going to do.

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More Language Of Letting Go

The miracle of rebirth

Birth is an exhilarating experience. Walking into a hospital room seconds after a child has been born, you can almost touch the emotion and power of the moment.

Rebirth is like that,too. Sitting in a powerful religious ceremony, standing alone atop a high hill, or walking in the footsteps of an ancient civilization, we can feel our hearts being changed as our spirit is given new birth. “What have I done to deserve this?” we whisper. And the universe whispers, “It’s to move you along your path. It’s to teach you to live.” And we emerge from our experience reborn.

Sometimes, it goes the other way,too. In a single moment, all that we know can be stripped away– the death of a loved one, a divorce, the loss of a job– and suddenly we’re left standing at the mercy of the universe. “Why did this happen? What did I do to deserve this?” we cry. And the universe answers, “It’s to move you along your path. It’s to teach you to live.” And once again, we rise from the ashes, reborn.

Surrender to the exhilarating moments of creation in your life, both the uplifting and the heartrending ones. Touch the emotion and power.

Trust that you’re being moved along your path. You’re learning how to live.

Let yourself be reborn.

God, please help me to accept all the life changing experiences that I may have. Help me to see the wonder in rebirth and to learn your lessons.

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Now Is the Time
Bloom Where You Are Planted

by Madisyn Taylor

The time to blossom is now, not sometime in the future when you believe the stars will be aligned for you.


Having a vision for our future that differs from our current circumstances can be inspiring and exciting, but it can also keep us from fully committing to our present placement. We may become aware that this is happening when we notice our thoughts about the future distracting us from our participation in the moment. We may find upon searching our hearts that we are waiting for some future time or situation in order to self-actualize. This would be like a flower planted in North Dakota putting off blooming because it would prefer to do so in Illinois.

There are no guarantees in this life, so when we hold back we do so at the risk of never fully blossoming. This present moment always offers us the ground in which we can take root and open our hearts now. What this means is that we live fully, wherever we are, not hesitating because conditions are not perfect, or we might end up moving, or we haven’t found our life partner. This can be scary, because we might feel that we are giving up our cherished dreams if we do not agree to wait for them. But this notion that we have to hold back our life force now in order to find happiness later doesn’t really make sense. What might really be happening is that we are afraid to embrace this moment, and ourselves, just exactly as we are right now. This constitutes a tendency to hold back from fully loving ourselves, as we are, where we are.

We have a habit of presenting life with a set of conditions—ifs and whens that must be fulfilled before we will say yes to the gift of our lives. Now is the time for each of us to bloom where we are planted, overriding our tendency to hold back. Now is the time to say yes, to be brave and commit fully to ourselves, because until we do no one else will. Now is the time to be vulnerable, unfolding delicately yet fully into the space in which we find ourselves. Published with permission from Daily OM

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A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

Most of us in The Program are far more comfortable with the determination that we won’t take the first drink today, than we are with the “vow” that we’ll never drink again. Saying “I intend never to drink again” is quite different from the saying, “I’ll never drink again.” The last statement is far too reflective of self-will; it doesn’t leave much room for the idea that God will remove our obsession to drink if we practice The Program’s Twelve Steps one day at a time. Will I continue to fight against complacency, realizing that I’ll always be just one drink away from disaster?

Today I Pray

“Never again” demands too binding a commitment, even for the strongest among us. Our past lives were full of “never agains” and won’t evers,” promises that were broken before the next dawn. May I, for now, set my sites on just one straight, sober day at a time.

Today I Will Remember

Never say “Never again.”

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One More Day

A tragedy means always a man’s struggles with that which is stronger than man.
– G. K. Chesteron

Once the diagnosis of a long-term illness is learned, some of us may use it as an excuse to be sad, morbid, sullen, unfeeling, and uncaring. These behaviors are all counterproductive to the fulfilling life we want to lead.

Those of us who undergo a major health change may consider it a tragedy. It is; loss of good health is a frightening change. But to keep our personal problems hidden, to never reach out for help and for support — that is the truest tragedy.

We can reach out to those who love us and extend our arms to our Higher Power. Rather than being bitter, we can involve ourselves in the lives of others and allow our personal tragedies to generate triumphs.

My faith in a Higher Power and my faith in myself grow stronger each day.

[bluidkiti]

December 5

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
My true god is always with me.
I am learning to trust myself. . . .
--Joan Parsons
Sometimes a book we read at a very young age stays with us our whole lives.
One girl loved Heidi more than any other book. She always thought about the grandfather's hut. It was a special place in the world--with the fresh mountain air, the spring flowers, the winter fire on the hearth. But the part she carried with her to adulthood was the part about the grandfather pouring goat's milk into a bowl and telling Heidi to drink it all up so she could grow to be healthy and happy.
Now that girl is a woman. Sometimes, when she wants to feel taken care of, she pours herself a bowl of milk. Then she sits down, picks up the bowl with two hands, and drinks out of it like Heidi. She feels comforted and connected to the universe.
The private rituals we discover in childhood can befriend us all our lives, if we let them.
What do I want when I want comfort?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
[A relationship] takes time and deeds, and this involves trust, it involves making ourselves naked, to become sitting ducks for each other. --Eldridge Cleaver
When we were lost in our excesses, we were limited in our relationships. The history of our friendships and loves may be evidence of that. Many of us had a primary relationship with a substance or an addictive behavior, and people had only second place. Many of us were so lost in our codependency that our relationships were two-dimensional. We didn't know how to be there with our whole selves. In recovery our ability to relate to others charges slowly. We learn how to love like everyone else learned - only we are learning a little later.
We have to be willing to be vulnerable. We also must be willing to be accountable - willing to say to our loved ones, "You can count on me to never leave without saying good bye." "You can count on me to be respectful of you." "You can count on me to tell you how I feel, even when it hurts." As we mature, with the help of the Steps, we also grow in our relationships with others.
Today, I will be true to my relationships.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
It is a long baptism into the seas of humankind, my daughter. Better immersion than to live untouched. --Tillie Olsen
We have each had days when we preferred hiding under the covers, avoiding life at all costs. And in times gone by, we did just that, sometimes too frequently. What we didn't always know, and what we still forget on occasion, is that we have a ready and willing partner who will join us in every pursuit.
The more fully we commit ourselves to one another and to all our experience, the closer we will come to the very serenity we long for. Serenity accompanies our increasing understanding of life's many mysteries. It's easy to cheat ourselves out of the prizes any day offers us. Fear fosters inertia, leaving us separate, alone, even more afraid. But we have an appointment with life. And our appointment will bring us to the place of full understanding, the place where we'll be certain, forever after, that all is well. And that life is good.
Today's appointments are part of the bigger plan for my life. I will face them, enjoy them, and reap their rewards.


You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
Difficult People
Few things can make us feel crazier than expecting something from someone who has nothing to give. Few things can frustrate us more than trying to make a person someone he or she isn't; we feel crazy when we try to pretend that person is someone he or she is not. We may have spent years negotiating with reality concerning particular people from our past and our present. We may have spent years trying to get someone to love us in a certain way, when that person cannot or will not.
It is time to let it go. It is time to let him or her go. That doesn't mean we can't love that person anymore. It means that we will feel the immense relief that comes when we stop denying reality and begin accepting. We release that person to be who he or she actually is. We stop trying to make that person be someone he or she is not. We deal with our feelings and walk away from the destructive system.
We learn to love and care differently in a way that takes reality into account.
We enter into a relationship with that person on new terms - taking our needs and ourselves into account. If a person is addicted to alcohol, other drugs, misery, or other people, we let go of his or her addiction; we take our hands off it. We give his or her life back. And we, in the process, are given our life and freedom in return.
We stop letting what we are not getting from that person control us. We take responsibility for our life. We go ahead with the process of loving and taking care of ourselves.
We decide how we want to interact with that person, taking reality and our own best interests into account. We get angry, we feel hurt, but we land in a place of forgiveness. We set him or her free, and we become set free from bondage.
This is the heart of detaching in love.
Today, I will work at detaching in love from troublesome people in my life. I will strive to accept reality in my relationships. I will give myself permission to take care of myself in my relationships, with emotional, physical, mental, and spiritual freedom for both people as my goal.


Today is full of miracles! --Ruth Fishel

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Journey To The Heart

Life Can Be Fun

How careful and guarded we’ve been with fun, with playing, with sheer enjoyment– whether we’re working, traveling, or wandering around town on a Saturday afternoon. Sometimes, we act as though there’s a limited amount, a scarce supply of fun available. We can’t take too much, or it’ll all be gone.

That’s how I was for a long time.

One Saturday afternoon my son, Shane, asked if he could spend the night at a friend’s house to play and have a sleepover.

“Why?” I asked.

“You just did something fun last night,” I reminded him.

He thought for a moment. “Who said you can’t have fun two days in a row.?”

Have some fun– with life, with love, with work. Then go out and have some more.

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More Language Of Letting Go

Be happy now

“Time is what keeps everything from happening at once,” the bumper sticker ahead of me read.

Maybe, I thought. I was racing back home from the computer store, busily doing my errands, trying to get things done. I noticed a restaurant and shopping center to my right, on the freeway. I’d been curious about this place for almost a year. Today, instead of driving by, I turned off the highway and pulled into the parking lot. I spent the next three hours browsing through the stores filled with antiques, trinkets, and gourmet foods. Then I enjoyed a leisurely dinner– a juicy hamburger and a chocolate malt– at the restaurant before returning home. The stores had always been there, I’d always driven past. Today I stopped, satisfied my curiosity, and enjoyed myself.

It’s easy to spend our lives working toward a goal, convinced that if we could only get there, we’d be truly happy then. Today is the only moment we have. If we wait until tomorrow to be happy, we’ll miss out on the beauty of today.

Have your plans. Set goals.

Let yourself be happy now.

God, help me be aware of the joy that’s in front of me now instead of waiting for tomorrow to bring me happiness.

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Blue Skies
The Sky Is Blue Even on a Cloudy Day

by Madisyn Taylor

Darker days are just as much a part of life as are the days graced with sunshine.


When we refer to a “beautiful day,” we are often describing a day that is sunny, clear, and without a cloud in sight to mar a sky that is a brilliantly perfect blue. We find ourselves bouncing along, light in spirit, free from worries, and enjoying the moment. That is, until the clouds begin to form. The sky may turn grey, and a fog may roll in. Puffs of white take on whimsical, darker shades, and our beautiful day disappears along with the sunshine… or so it seems.

A clear blue sky often inspires in us good cheer, bringing on a lighter, more carefree day. We may find ourselves spending time outdoors, breathing in the fresh air, and basking in the warmth of the sun. Yet should clouds appear to wash the sky with shadows, we may let this change of weather decrease our energy and enthusiasm, pulling us into our own cloudy funk. Darker days are just as much a part of life as are the days graced with sunshine. They show us a different perspective of our world, while helping us appreciate the moments of illumination that inevitably follow. A rainy day with clouds helps to clear the air, washing away stagnation. Still, it’s hard not to feel gloomy or think that the day has been ruined when there are clouds hanging over us. Yet if you can remember that these shades of grey won’t last forever, and that hidden behind the clouds is the blue sky, you will find that the beauty of your day is merely playing a game of peek-a-boo with you. Like the mis! haps and interruptions that occasionally block the brilliance that is our own lives from shining through, clouds eventually clear away so we can open up to a brighter horizon.

The next time you wake up to a cloudy day, remember that these shades of grey in life are there just for the moment. And that no matter how hard the rain falls or how chilly the fog is, the clouds will go away, the sun will break through, and you will be able to see the sky that has always and forever been a beautiful and brilliant blue. Published with permission from Daily OM

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A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

“It is of low benefit to give me something. It is of high benefit to enable me to do something for myself.” Emerson

I’ve been taught in The Program that I begin to use my will properly when I try to make it conform with God’s will. In the past, most of my problems resulted from the improper use of will power. I’d always tried to use it, in sledgehammer fashion, as a way of solving my problems or changing the conditions of my life. Do I see that a primary purpose of the Twelve Steps is to help me channel my will into agreement with God’s intentions for me?

Today I Pray

May I direct my will-power into a channel where it can pick up the will of God. May I no longer use my will-power — which has not proved mighty in the past — as willfulness. May I think of my will only as an extension of God’s will, listening always for direction.

Today I Will Remember

To use my will-power as willingness, not willfulness.

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One More Day

Forgiveness is the answer to the child’s dream of a miracle by which what is broken is made whole again, what is soiled is again made clean.
– Dag Hammarskjold

We all may feel a measure of guilt when relationships deteriorate or friends become angry with each other. Sometimes, it’s not the people around us who are to blame; sometimes it really is our fault. We’ve misspoken or said harsh and unfeeling words to a friend.

We can’t undo our mistakes or take back our words, but we can ask for forgiveness and try to make amends. WE can forgive others when they have hurt us, knowing that forgiveness keeps our relationships whole.

I don’t have to wait for forgiveness from others; I can make my amends first.

[bluidkiti]

December 6

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
Believe that life is worth living, and your belief will help create the fact. --William James
Before Orville and Wilbur Wright ever flew the first airplane at Kitty Hawk, they believed flight was possible. They had a picture of it in their minds. The first step in creating anything is to be able to picture it in our minds. If we can picture it as a possibility, we can work to make it happen.
When we were small, we dreamed a thousand dreams about what could happen in our lives. Anything, even magical things, seemed like they could happen, and our world was full of visions. That part of us that believes wonderful, magical things can happen is still in us. It may have been beaten down for a while, but it is still there waiting to help us seek the wonderful, lovely, and good things in life.
Which of my dreams can I work toward today?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
All real living is meeting. --Martin Buber
Sharing coffee with a friend or playing a game of golf with him provides a little relaxation, a little fun, and a chance to catch up on each other's lives. Such things are the meetings of life. Holding a small child on one's lap, even walking the dog are meetings too. They are relationships with other lives based on sharing time with one another.
Meetings - this sharing of time - can be with the full range of our existence. A tree, a lake, a mountain, the stars meet with us in solitude and enlarge our lives. Meeting is more than driving by. We meet a neighbor, a woman walking down the sidewalk, a driver in the next car. Each meeting inspires different responses in us. With some, we may be open and receiving; with others, fearful; and yet with others, we want to exploit and use. If all life is meeting, perhaps I do not wish to meet in the way I have been. The way I meet others changes me. Maybe I am missing something. I can have more life by making more contact.
God, please guide my awareness in this day to each meeting as it occurs so that 1 can make contact more fully.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
Each day provides its own gifts. --Ruth P. Freedman
We are guaranteed experiences that are absolutely right for us today. We are progressing on schedule. Even when our personal hopes are unmet, we are given the necessary opportunities for achieving those goals that complement our unique destinies.
Today is full of special surprises, and we will be the recipient of the ones which are sent to help us grow--in all the ways necessary for our continued recovery. We might not consider every experience a gift at this time. But hindsight will offer the clarity lacking at the moment, just as it has done in many instances that have gone before.
We are only offered part of our personal drama each day. But we can trust our lives to have many scenes, many acts, points of climax, and a conclusion. Each of us tells a story with our lives, one different from all other stories and yet necessary to the telling of many other stories too. The days ahead will help us tell our story. Our interactions with others will influence our outcomes and theirs. We can trust the drama and give fully to our roles.
Every day is a gift exchange. I give, and I will receive.


You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
Letting Go of Shame
Many of us were victimized, sometimes more than once. We may have been physically abused, sexually abused, or exploited by the addictions of another.
Understand that if another person has abused us, it is not cause for us to feel shame. The guilt for the act of abuse belongs to the perpetrator, not the victim.
Even if in recovery we fall prey to being victimized, that is not cause for shame.
The goal of recovery is learning self-care, learning to free ourselves from victimization, and not to blame ourselves for past experiences. The goal is to arm ourselves so we do not continue to be victimized due to the shame and unresolved feelings from the original victimization.
We each have our own work, our issues, and our recovery tasks. One of those tasks is to stop pointing our finger at the perpetrator, because it distracts us. Although we hold each person responsible and accountable for his or her behavior, we learn compassion for the perpetrator. We understand that many forces have come into play in that person's life. At the same time, we do not hold on to shame.
We learn to understand the role we played in our victimization, how we fell into that role and did not rescue ourselves. But that is information to arm us so that it need not happen again.
Let go of victim shame. We have issues and tasks, but our issue is not to feel guilty and wrong because we have been victimized.
Today, I will set myself free from any victim shame I may be harboring or hanging on to.


I feel lighter and better about myself when I don't procrastinate. Today I am discovering the freedom of completing at last one thing that I don't put off. --Ruth Fishel

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Journey To The Heart

Discover True Power

Much of our journey involves learning about power. We learn about the powers we don’t have– the power to control others, sometimes ourselves, and fate. We discover our true power– the power to take an endless journey into freedom and love.

We talk about, experience, and experiment with many kinds of power along the way. The power of authority. The power of money. The power of prestige. The power of control. The power of rage, anger, intimidation. We see many kinds of negative powers– manipulation, deceit, fraud. We see people trying to steal power from others. We see people letting others take their power away, crawling into shells, hiding, and being dragged along by others.

We see that many forms of power are illusions. Money goes just so far. Prestige is fleeting. Popularity holds no immunity from life’s experiences. Control is only momentary, we turn our backs and the situation reverts.

We trudge the road searching for power, learning about our own. Somewhere on the journey, we begin to see the truth. It awakens quietly within us, shaking our soul, transforming our vision, teaching us what we knew all along. The power that lasts, the power that stays is the power of the heart.

Stillness. Faith. Gentleness. Kindness. Compassion. Joy. Forgiveness. Comfort. Vulnerability. Honesty. Courage. And love. Now we’re talking about power.

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More Language Of Letting Go

Celebrate

Look at your life. Look back at the path that you’ve walked this far and celebrate.

One of the joys of walking to the top of a mountain is looking back at how far you’ve come. It’s wonderful to stand on a high ridge and see the tiny footpath stretching off into the distance.

Celebrate with awe how far you’ve come in those first few steps of sobriety and in your faith and willingness to let go of your fears. Celebrate those first faltering moments of learning what it meant to take care of yourself. Even now, with each step you take, you are being transformed. Celebrate!

Turn around. Look. See how far you’ve come. Celebrate the journey that you’ve taken so far.

And look forward to the adventure that lies ahead.

God, help me celebrate all our triumphs. Thank you for walking with me, even when I felt I was walking alone.

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A Clear Current
Maintaining the Flow

by Madisyn Taylor

Life energy flows through us like a swift stream when there is nothing to obstruct it.


The essence of all being is energy. Our physical and ethereal selves depend on the unrestricted flow of life energy that is the source of wholeness and wellness. Though the channels through which this energy flows are open systems and influenced by factors outside of our control, we ultimately choose what impact these will have in our lives. It is up to us to identify and clear blockages in the energy field to ensure that flow is maintained. A healthy, grounded individual absorbs some portion of the energy emitted by other people and the environment, but this does not interrupt the continuous stream of balanced energy sustaining them. The same individual copes constructively with stress and upset, and they are not subject to the stagnation that frequently goes hand in hand with negativity. When we keep the energy in and around our bodies flowing harmoniously, we are naturally healthy, vibrant, and peaceful.

Life energy flows through us like a swift stream when there is nothing to obstruct it, but various forces such as trauma, downbeat vibrations, and disappointments act like stones that impede the current. If we allow these to pile up, our life energy is thrown off its course or blocked entirely, causing illness, restlessness, and a lack of vigor. If, however, we take the time to clear these forces away, we rob them of the power to impact our lives. When we cultivate simple yet affirmative habits such as taking regular cleansing baths, practicing meditation and breathing exercises, smudging, and self-shielding, we protect ourselves from outside influences that might otherwise impede our energy flow. Likewise, we lessen the impact of inner influences when we clear our auras of unwanted attachments and divest ourselves of blocked emotions.

A strong and fluid energy field is the key that unlocks the doors of self-healing and peace of mind. Your awareness of the flow of energy sustaining you empowers you to take charge of your own well-being by taking steps to unblock, correct, and enhance that flow. Fear will likely be the culprit when you cannot identify the source of stagnation—you may simply be afraid to let go of what is obstructing the flow. Letting go can be challenging, but the exuberance you will feel when the flow is restored will be a welcome and blessed reward. Published with permission from Daily OM

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A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

When I finally convince myself to let go of a problem that’s been tearing me apart — when I take the action to set aside my will and let God handle the problem — my torment subsides immediately. If I continue to stay out of my own way, then solutions begin to unfold and reveal themselves. More and more, I’m coming to accept the limitations of my human understanding and power. More and more, I’m learning to let go and trust my Higher Power for the answers and the help. Do I keep in the forefront of my mind the fact that only God is all-wise and all-powerful?

Today I Pray

If I come across a stumbling-block, may I learn to step out of the way and let God remove it. May I realize my human limitations at problem-solving, since I can never begin to predict God’s solutions until I see them happening. May I know that whatever answer I come to, God may have a better one.

Today I Will Remember

God has a better answer.

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One More Day

A leader is a dealer in hope.
–Napoleon Bonaparte

A good leader doesn’t always have the firmest hand or the most knowledge about a subject, but instead has the ability to develop hope and enthusiasm for success in others. Leading others often means being a role model; it means confidently marching forward, not pushing others from behind.

We all are leaders at one time or another. Raising children or working with others or nurturing relationships — all require leadership at times. Our health care also requires our leadership, and we find the most success when we lead with a hopeful spirit. That hope is reflected in our cooperation with the medical community, and it is also shown in our eagerness to live life fully and joyfully.

My hope, enthusiasm, and growth help me and others deal with chronic illness.

[bluidkiti]

December 7

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
Only people who have joyfully accepted themselves can take all the risks and responsibilities of being themselves. --John Powell
If we have ever gone to school with a black eye, we know how embarrassing it can be. We feel self-conscious and ill at ease. Friends come up to us one after another to ask how we got it. We may want to stay away from people until the eye is better. All of us have things about ourselves we have a hard time accepting. It doesn't have to be as unusual as a black eye. We may think we're too big, too little, too slow, not good readers, not good looking enough, or not popular enough.
We may need to talk about these things with someone else, so these bits of ourselves we don't accept won't limit our freedom to grow. By talking to another, we may find those traits aren't noticed by anyone but ourselves. We may also find that what we once thought of as weak points can be turned to strengths.
What weakness can I turn to a strength today?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
Seldom, or perhaps never, does a marriage develop into an individual relationship smoothly and without crises; there is no coming to consciousness without pain. --Carl Jung
We don't seek perfect relationships in marriage or in other places in our lives. What we seek instead are real and honest connections. Perfection has a picture-book form, but it has no depth and no personality. This means that sometimes we will get upset with others, or they will get upset with us. We need a basic commitment to stay in the relationship dialogue, to continue returning to it as long as both people are willing to work on it. Working through crises is how a relationship grows from simply being an idea to having its unique reality.
We will be frightened by the rough spots. We will wonder if there is something wrong with us or with the other person, or the relationship. We cannot escape such questions. To run from the difficulties cuts off the possibilities for growth. It is a frightening thing to become real, to come into consciousness.
Today, I pray for courage to remain honest and faithful to real relationships through the crises.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
Promises that you make to yourself are often like the Japanese plum tree--they bear no fruit. --Frances Marion
The resolve to fulfill commitments we make to ourselves and others may be lacking until we learn to rely on the wisdom and strength offered by our higher power--strength that will make us confident in any situation; wisdom that will insure our right actions. What is difficult alone is always eased in partnership.
We promise ourselves changed behavior, new habits, perhaps, or a positive attitude. But then we proceed to focus on our liabilities, giving them even more power, a greater hold over us. We can practice our assets, and they'll foster the promises we want to keep.
No longer need we shame ourselves about unfulfilled promises. Whatever our desires, whatever our commitments, if for the good of others and ourselves, they will come to fruition. We can ask for direction. We can ask for resolve, and each worthy hope and unrealized promise will become reality.
My assets, when strengthened through use, pave the way for God's help. Any promise can bear fruit when I make it in partnership with God.


You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
When the Time is Right
There are times when we simply do not know what to do, or where to go, next. Sometimes these periods are brief, sometimes lingering.
We can get through these times. We can rely on our program and the disciplines of recovery. We can cope by using our faith, other people, and our resources.
Accept uncertainty. We do not always have to know what to do or where to go next. We do not always have clear direction. Refusing to accept the inaction and limbo makes things worse.
It is okay to temporarily be without direction. Say, "I don't know," and be comfortable with that. We do not have to try to force wisdom, knowledge, or clarity when there is none.
While waiting for direction, we do not have to put our life on hold. Let go of anxiety and enjoy life. Relax. Do something fun. Enjoy the love and beauty in your life. Accomplish small tasks. They may have nothing to do with solving the problem, or finding direction, but this is what we can do in the interim.
Clarity will come. The next step will present itself. Indecision, inactivity, and lack of direction will not last forever.
Today, I will accept my circumstances even if I lack direction and insight. I will remember to do things that make myself and others feel good during those times. I will trust that clarity will come of its own accord.


Today I know that I can get through anything that happens in this day with the help of my Higher Power. --Ruth Fishel

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Journey To The Heart

Let Go of Feeling Overwhelmed

So often the simple tasks of life can seem overwhelming. But feeling overwhelmed is only a reaction to them.

Many things need to be done–laundry, housekeeping, car maintenance, bills, taxes, appointments, work– the everyday responsibilities of our lives. The task of quietly beginning, doing the first step of the first task can help us find our way through. Once we begin, we see that things aren’t overwhelming. The simple act of setting to the task simplifies it. Our sense of peace reappears in the magic of the present moment.

Magic and power don’t come from contemplating all that lies ahead, how much needs to be done, all that might go wrong, whether we’ll get through. That’s fear. We don’t find the magic and power by denying, escaping, or ignoring our feelings, even feelings of being overwhelmed. Feel what you need to feel. Release it. Go forward in love, one moment at a time.

We will be given the power to do all we need to do. Take the simple steps that lie before you. Take one step at a time. You’ll find the way again.

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More Language Of Letting Go

Enjoy your successes

Eventually, if you put enough effort into something, it gets finished. The house is built, the picture is painted, the report is completed. Let yourself rest and relax in those moments. Take a moment to enjoy the feeling of completeness. That moment will be a fleeting one. There are many more ideas and tasks waiting around the bend.

Gaining experience and learning lessons from failed efforts is an important part of our path. But success feels good,too, and it’s meant to be enjoyed.

If you’ve had a recent accomplishment in your life, take some time off. Celebrate it. Celebrate those smaller moments of victory,too. Sit back, look at what you’ve done and say, “It is good.” Take yourself out to dinner, take a vacation, or even a short trip to the beach.

Reflect on your past successes. Forget about your failures and the things that went wrong. Think about all that you’ve done right in your life, the things that have worked out, the answered prayers. Don’t just stare at your problems and everything that’s gone wrong. Look at what’s right about your life,too.

Sit back and rest for a moment. Then say, How sweet it is.

God, thank you for all my victories, for all the challenges you’ve helped me meet. Thanks for all those times you answered my prayers and met my needs. Help me rest and celebrate the good in my life.

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Listening and Responding
Body Language

by Madisyn Taylor

Tuning in to the language of our bodies can be very enlightening and increases our intuition.


So much can be revealed to us when we listen to the language of our bodies. Our bodies are always speaking, sending us messages through the way we move, the sensations that arise from within, and the gestures and expressions that we make when we are communicating with others. Tuning in to the language of our bodies can be very enlightening, especially as most communication is believed to take place nonverbally. It is also believed that the body never lies, and that if we want to know the truth about ourselves and others, then we should listen to what our bodies have to say. Anyone who has ever flirted with someone they are attracted to has probably, at one point in time or another, brushed their hands through their hair or found themselves leaning forward to get closer to that person. Someone feeling defensive will tend to cross their arms over their chest, while a person who wants to withhold something may look away when speaking.

If you want to know how you truly feel about a person or a situation, then it is a good idea to tune in to what you are feeling inside. Excitement, nervousness, anxiety, and fear are just some of the messages that your body wants you to hear. Your body can also be a very reliable compass. Anyone who has ever been somewhere they don’t want to be has probably experienced their bodies trying to move them away from that particular circumstance. And while it can be very easy to talk ourselves into and out of choices we may make with our minds, it isn’t so easy to change the truth of our hearts that reside within our bodies.


To begin tuning in to this subtle form of communication, start taking the time to notice what your body is telling you. Greet each feeling or sensation as a message carrying wisdom from your body. Tune in to what your body is telling you about the situations and people you encounter and listen to what others are communicating to you through their bodies. We already are subconsciously receptive to the language of our bodies, but when we choose to consciously pay attention, we hear and understand so much more about ourselves and the people around us. Published with permission from Daily OM

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A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

As long as I stubbornly hang on to the conviction that I can live solely by my individual strength and intelligence, for just that long a working faith in my Higher Power is impossible. This is true no matter how strongly I believe that God exists. My religious beliefs — no matter how sincere — will remain forever lifeless if I continue trying to play God myself. What it comes down to, we find, is that as long as we place self-reliance first, true reliance upon a Higher Power is out of the question. How strong is my desire to seek and do God’s will?

Today I Pray

I pray that I may not place my self-reliance above reliance of God. May I know that there is no conflict between taking responsibility for my own actions, which I have been taught is the essence of maturit7y, and looking to God for guidance. May I remember that if I stick to the “do-it-myself” rule, it is like refusing to ask for a road map from a tourist information bureau — and wandering around forever lost.

Today I Will Remember

Maturity is knowing where to go for help.

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One More Day

Man adjusts to what he should not; he is unable to adjust to what he should
–Jean Toomer

Most teenagers love French fries, pop, and candy bars. We know that most fast-food and sugar is bad for us — and so do teenagers — but many of us continue to munch on junk food.

Now that we have an adult’s perspective, one would think that adjusting to new things or getting rid of bad habits would become easier. No so! Adjusting to change is not easy, particularly when it involves our health.

One of the most difficult problems is maintaining a balance between dealing with the chronic problem and wanting to live without it. We learn, despite our resistance to change, that we can have an illness and can adjust — we can remain strong and happy.

I am confident of my ability to deal with my illness, and live a good life.

[bluidkiti]

December 8

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
If you must love your neighbor as yourself, it is at least as fair to love yourself as your neighbor. --Nicholas De Chamfort
We sometimes find it difficult to accept a compliment. We may feel we don't deserve such attention, and point out reasons why the compliment is untrue. When we act this way, we show a lack of love for ourselves.
God teaches us to love our neighbors as ourselves. Yet, before we can love anyone, we must believe we are worthy of the same love. No creature is undeserving of love, God reminds us of that. We can stop hiding behind feelings of unworthiness. There's nothing stopping us but ourselves. Sometimes it takes courage to say thank you when we get a compliment. Let's exercise that courage, and each time we do, we'll find our self-love growing.
When I thank people today, will I have the courage to smile, too?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
There are two equally dangerous extremes - to shut reason out, and to let nothing else in. --Pascal
Some of the greatest scientific thinkers deeply respect the nonrational, and they aren't afraid to say so. Perhaps it is part of their genius. The nonrational inspires fun, creativity, a connection with others, and a feeling of reverence. Trying to contain our thoughts within reasonableness squeezes the life out of them. The simple beauty of color and form in a stone; the graceful, synchronized movement of a flock of birds; the miracle of understanding and loyalty in a friendship - these are truths beyond our ownership. We can feel these truths. We can be moved and inspired by them. We can never fully know their mysteries.
Our addictive natures have led us men to overemphasize reason and the control it promises. We've become reasonable while discarding the less controlled, creative, humorous, mysterious, and personal aspects of our lives. At this very moment we may be so focused on figuring out the reasonable answer to a problem that we are blocking the gut message, which is also here for us.
I can appreciate rather than understand the mystery of life.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
I have found that sitting in a place where you have never sat before can be inspiring. --Dodie Smith
Repeatedly, today and every day, we will be in new situations, new settings with old friends, and old settings and situations with new friends. Each instance is fresh, unlike all the times before. And inspiration can accompany each moment, if we but recognize how special it is.
"We will not pass this way again," so the song says, which heightens the meaning of each encounter, every experience. Acknowledging that something can be gained each step along the way invites inspiration.
Inspiration moves us to new heights. We will be called to step beyond our present boundaries. Maybe today. Whenever the inspiration catches our attention, we can trust its invitation; we are ready for the challenge it offers. We need not let our narrow, personal expectations of an experience, a new situation perhaps, prevent us from being open to all the dynamic possibilities it offers.
I must be willing to let my whole self be moved, inspired. I must be willing to let each moment I experience be the only moment getting my attention.


You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
Valuing Our Needs
When we don't ask for what we want and need, we discount ourselves. We deserve better.
Maybe others taught us it wasn't polite or appropriate to speak up for ourselves. The truth is, if we don't, our unmet wants and needs may ultimately come back to haunt our relationships. We may end up feeling angry or resentful, or we may begin to punish someone else for not guessing what we need. We may end the relationship because it doesn't meet our needs.
Intimacy and closeness are only possible in a relationship when both people can say what they want and need. Sustained intimacy demands this.
Sometimes, we may even have to demand what we want. That's called setting a boundary. We do this not to control another person, but to gain control of our life.
Our attitude toward our needs is important too. We must value them and take them seriously if we expect others to take us seriously. When we begin to place value and importance on our needs we'll see a remarkable change. Our wants and needs will begin to get met.
Today, I will respect the wants and needs of others and myself. I will tell others, my Higher Power, and myself what I want and need. I will listen to what they want and need too.


It feels so good to accept myself just as I am today. All my thoughts and actions and emotions are right where they belong.
--Ruth Fishel

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Journey To The Heart

Don’t Pick Up Energy That’s Not Yours

I walked into the small-town diner and sat down at the counter. I was the only customer, but the waitress ignored me. I waited while she sat in a booth, reading the paper. Finally, she lowered the paper. “Is there something you want?” she barked from across the room.

By the time I left the restaurant, I felt as crabby as the waitress appeared. It took a while to figure out what happened, what had changed my mood. Then I realized I had picked up her negative energy– feelings that had nothing to do with me. It was like someone had splashed my windshield with mud.

Most of us have crabby days and an adundance of our own feelings to deal with. We don’t need to let others splash their negative energy on us. We don’t need to pick it up and carry it around. If someone splashes your windshield with mud while you’re driving down the road, what do you do? You wash it off and go on your way.

Learn to tell when what you’re feeling is your emotions, and your business. Learn to tell when someone has splashed on you. You don’t have to take responsibility for what’s not yours. Be done with it as quickly as possible.

Thoughts are energy. Crabby thoughts and crabby emotions can be like mud. If someone splashes on you, wash off your windshield, send them a blessing, and go on down the road.

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More Language Of Letting Go

Enjoy the ordinary

Days before, there had been a tremendous storm out in the Pacific Ocean. Now the swells from the storm were smashing against the shore in California. The tide rose and rose. The house shook with each wave as the breaking water slammed into the pilings under the house.

I went to bed but couldn’t sleep. I got up and walked outside to check on the kayak. It was still there, but the water was far up under the house, threatneing to grab the boat. I went back to bed and eventually drifted off to sleep in spite of the noisy, angry sea.

The next day, the sea returned to normal. That night when I went to bed, the gentle rolling of the sea lulled me to sleep. Soon, I forgot about the storm, how loud and angry the waves had been. I once again began to take the gentle soothing sound of the surf for granted.

It’s easy to take many things in our life for granted: health, the presence of a loved one in our life, friends, food, even sobriety and recovery. When life proceeds smoothly, it’s easy to take the ordinary for granted.

Look at the ordinary in your life. How would you feel if it was taken away? Don’t just be grateful for successes. Be grateful for and celebrate the ordinary in your world.

God, help me to not take anything for granted. Teach me to recognize, appreciate, and celebrate the ordinary in this world. Help me see how beautiful and meaningful the ordinary really is.

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The Joy Of Being
Celebrating The In-Between Times

While celebrations are intended to honor life’s more momentous occasions, much of real life tends to happen during the in-between times. While moving from one moment in time to the next is seldom considered a significant occurrence, it is during those in-between times that we are most in tune with life’s most profound, albeit simple joys. Between birth and death, triumph and sorrow, beginnings and endings, we enjoy innumerable experiences that often happen unnoticed. These times are just as worthy of celebration.

The in-between times are seldom about landmark moments. How you choose to celebrate them or which moments you choose to celebrate is up to you. You may want to celebrate the simple facts that you are alive and that every day is a chance to spend time with the people you care about or do the work that you love. Then again, when you look at the good that exists in your life, many reasons for celebrating the in-between times may become clear: a cup of your favorite tea, a beautiful sunrise, a good book, and the smell of fresh air can be reasons for celebration.

Celebrating the in-between times can be as easy as paying special attention to them when they do happen, rather than taking them for granted. It’s your focus of attention that can turn an in-between time into a celebration. You can also pay homage to the in-between times by slowing down and allowing yourself time to look around and allow your heart and mind to take in all of your life’s wonders. Far too often, we can let those simple moments of awe pass us by. The in-between times are when life happens to us between the pauses that we take to honor our milestones occasions. Without the in-between times, there would be no big moments to celebrate. Published with permission from Daily OM

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A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

We often see people in The Program — devoutly and with seeming sincerity — ask for God’s guidance on matters ranging from major crises to such insignificant things as what to serve at a dinner party. Though they may be well-intentioned, such people tend to force their wills into all sorts of situations — with the comfortable assurance that they’re following God’s specific directions. In reality, this sort of prayer is nothing more than a self0serving demand of God for “replies;” it has little to do with The Program’s suggested Eleventh Step. Do I strive regularly to study each of the Steps, and to practice them in all my affairs?

Today I Pray

May I not make the common mistake of listing my own solutions for God and then asking for a stamp of Divine approval. May I catch myself if I am not really opening my mind to Gods guidance, but merely laying out my own answers with a “what do You think of these?” attitude.

Today I Will Remember

Am I looking for Gods rubber stamp?

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One More Day

There are some remedies worse than the disease.
– Publilius Syrus

Sometimes the very medicines prescribed to help us return to a more stable health situation can cause side effects which can be nearly intolerable. How ludicrous that a drug intended to help us shake off the exhaustion caused by a chronic health condition can cause fatigue. What a joke on us that a pill taken for arthritics, for example, can cause other potential medical problems.

Despite these side effects, we should not stop following dosage instructions until we talk with our doctors, who can help minimize the side effects. In this way we will gain one more foothold in the process of learning to live with our problems.

I ‘ll try to keep communication lines open with my doctor to make it as easy as possible upon myself.

[bluidkiti]

December 9

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
Faith is the seamstress
who mends our torn belief
who sews the hem of childhood trust
and clips the threads of grief.
--Joan Walsh Anglund
A seamstress takes large pieces of material and cuts them to size. Then, with the help of needle and thread and buttons, she goes to work to create a finished piece. Sometimes, in the beginning, it is hard to imagine a finished product. But the seamstress believes it is possible and goes to work on it.
Faith is like a seamstress. Faith is what can pull all the unfinished pieces of life into some sort of order. Faith is what lets us know we are all right even when life doesn't seem to make sense. We all need the faith to believe our skills and dreams, and even our heartaches can be sewn into a shape that is beautiful and useful.
Our faith is the seamstress who guides the needle, mends the tears, and helps create a shape and meaning to our lives.
How can I show my faith today?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
That it will never come again is what makes life so sweet. --Emily Dickinson
Life seems to be a continuous pattern of getting committed to things and having to let go - falling in love and losing the one we love, developing a job skill and having to change careers, caring for our children and letting them go off into the world. This is the rhythm of life, and our spiritual growth teaches us to make peace with it. Participating fully in the rhythm is how we become whole men. As addicts and codependents, we used our gambling, overspending, drugs, sex, work, or caretaking of others to avoid the pain of making deeper relationships and to avoid the grief over losing them.
Avoiding commitments and staying uninvolved may keep us safe from risks. They also keep us near our dangerous old patterns. Our program works when we can freely let ourselves go. First, we commit to our recovery program with no reservations. Then, in our increasing sanity we gradually let ourselves go in other attachments. We know we face losses as part of life. We will have the strength to grieve them and move on.
God, give me the inner-liberty today to let go of myself and care.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
To do nothing is failure. To try, and in the trying you make some mistakes and then you make some positive changes as a result of those mistakes, is to learn and to grow and to blossom. --Darlene Larson Jenks
Life is a process, one that is continuously changing. And with each change, we are offered unexpected opportunities for growth. Change is what fosters our development as women. It encourages us to risk new behavior and may even result in some mistakes. Fortunately, no mistakes can seriously hinder us. In fact, most mistakes give us an additional opportunity to learn.
Where we stand today is far removed from our position last year, or even last week. Each and every moment offers us new input that influences any decision from this moment forward. The process that we're participating in guarantees our growth as long as we remain conscious of our opportunities and willingly respond to them. We can be glad that the life process is, in fact, never static. always moving, always inviting us to participate fully.
I will have the courage to make a mistake today. It's a promise of growth.


You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
Asking for Help
It's okay to ask for help.
One of the most absurd things we do to ourselves is not asking for the help we need from a friend, a family member, our Higher Power, or the appropriate resource.
We don't have to struggle through feelings and problems alone. We can ask for help from our Higher Power and for support and encouragement from our friends.
Whether what we need is information, encouragement, a hand, a word, a hug, someone who will listen, or a ride, we can ask. We can ask people for what we need from them. We can ask God for what we need from God.
It is self-defeating to not ask for the help we need. It keeps us stuck. If we ask long and hard enough, if we direct our request to the right source, we'll get the help we need.
There is a difference between asking someone to rescue us and asking someone in a direct manner for the help we need from him or her. We can be straightforward and let others choose whether to help us or not. If the answer is no, we can deal with that.
It is self-defeating to hint, whine, manipulate, or coerce help out of people. It is annoying to go to people as a victim and expect them to rescue us. It is healthy to ask for help when help is what we need.
"My problem is shame," said one woman. "I wanted to ask for help in dealing with it, but I was to ashamed. Isn't that crazy?"
We who are eager to help others can learn to allow ourselves to receive help. We can learn to make clean contracts about asking for and receiving the help we want and need.
Today, I will ask for help if I need it - from people and my Higher Power. I will not be a victim, helplessly waiting to be rescued. I will make my request for help specific, to the point, and I will leave room for the person to choose whether or not to help me. I will not be a martyr any longer by refusing to get the help I deserve in life - the help that makes life simpler. God, help me let go of my need to do everything alone. Help me use the vast Universe of resources available to me.


I have the right to have my needs met. In order to have them met, I am expressing them to the people who can help me today. --Ruth Fishel

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Journey To The Heart

Claim Your Own Life

Claiming our own lives creates fulfillment and joy. We don’t need to be controlled. We don’t deserve to be repressed or stifled. We don’t have to let anyone convince us that we do. We can trust ourselves. We know what we need, we know what we yearn for– we long to be set free.

What once seemed so overwhelming– creating and taking responsibility for our lives– wasn’t really so. It was our belief that we couldn’t do it, couldn’t handle it, couldn’t be trusted that made it so. We created our own prison by believing we were trapped, stuck. We became controlled by believing others knew better than we did what was best for us. We were afraid to take responsibility for our choices, so we gave up our power.

Now it’s time to step out, leave our prison of fear. We can take responsibility for our lives. We can take responsibility for what we create. We don’t have to be afraid of making a mistake or doing something wrong. If we create a situation we don’t like, we can create something different. We’re free to create the life we want.

We’re free now to claim our own lives and create fulfillment and joy. We always have been.

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More Language Of Letting Go

Discover a sense of wonder and awe

After lunch at Paradise Cove, one of our favorite places to eat, my friend and I went for a walk along the beach. Suddenly he bent down and picked up a little purple ball with spines all over it. “Look,” he said, “a sea urchin!” It was just an empty shell, but the purple was glowing, almost the color of amethyst. Neither of us had ever seen an urchin lying on the beach before. We touched it and debated whether we should take it home and put it on a shelf.

“Why don’t we leave it here,” he said. “Some kids will find it, and they can take it home. We’ve got enough stuff lying around.”

As soon as he put the treasure back on the sand, two children and their mother rounded the point in front of us. The oldest child, a girl about twelve, was curious and delighted when we called her over and handed her the little purple ball. Soon her brother and her mom crowded around. The boy couldn’t wait to touch the urchin’s tiny spines. My friend and I were both smiling as we walked back to the car.

Two of the sweetest experiences in life are discovering new things and sharing those things with someone else. Be aware of the new and exciting things that come into your life. They don’t have to be that big to give you a sense of delight. Enjoy them, learn from them, play with them. And then, for an even greater experience, share them with a friend.

God, help me discover a sense of wonder and awe about life. Then help me pass that feeling on to someone else.

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Let It Flow
Tears

How wonderful it feels to give in and let tears flow when we are overwhelmed with emotions, whether we are happy or sad. Tears come from the soul, from our well of feelings rising from deep down. When we give in to the prickling behind our eyes and the lump in our throat to let teardrops fall from our eyes, we allow our feelings to surface so they can be set free.

Proud parents shed tears of pride in a child’s accomplishments, a baby’s first step, birthdays, and graduations. Long lost friends fall into each other’s arms, tears rolling down their cheeks when they reunite after years of separation. Tears may flow from us when we are witness to a commitment being made at a wedding or even while we are watching a love story. Tears of relief may spring forth from our eyes when we hear that a loved one has survived an ordeal, and tears may fall when we bow our head in sorrow over a loss or death. Tears born from heartache can flow like they’ll never cease, whether our tears are for a love that is over, a friendship lost, or an opportunity missed. We shed tears because of disappointment in ourselves, tragedy in the world, pain, and illness. Tears of anger can burn with emotion as they fall down our faces. Tears offer us a physical release of our feelings.

Shedding tears can sometimes make us feel better, although it can feel like the tears will never end once the floodgates are open. There is no shame in letting tears flow freely and frequently. Tears are as natural to us as is breathing. There is beauty in allowing yourself to be vulnerable enough to shed tears. Open up, release your tears, and let your feelings flow. Published with permission from Daily OM

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A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

“Difficulties are God’s errands, and when we are sent upon them, we should esteem it a proof of God’s confidence.”
–Beecher
I’ve come to realize that my past troubles were really of my own making. Although I hardly thought so at the time, I was a primary example of what The Program calls “self-will run riot.” Today, I’ll accept my difficulties as sign posts to growth, and as evidence of God’s confidence in me. Do I believe that God will never give me more than I can handle?

Today I Pray

May I believe strongly that God has confidence in me to handle my troubles, that the difficulties I must face are in direct proportion to my strength and ability to bear up and keep a cool head in a crisis. May I also understand that it is my faith in God which keeps me from crumbling.

Today I Will Remember

God has faith in me, because I have faith in God.

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One More Day

To see the goal of life as “winning” forces us to see other people as competitores, threats to our happiness. For us to “win,” they have to “lose.”
– Harold Kushner

Our thinking is healthier when we see our goals as individual accomplishments, not as outdoing someone else. Others don’t have to get less or be less in order for us to feel good about ourselves.

Rather than, “I beat someone out of a job,” we need to understand that it’s not a contest, but a matter of placing the most qualifeied person in a new position. We all have different skills, and it is usually the skill, not the person, that is recognized or rewarded. The person who possesses the needed skill is not necessarily better, nicer, or more worthwhile — even when that person is us. In accepting that, we are better able to work toward our persoanal goals without fear of competion.

The only winning I pursue is meeting my goals.

[bluidkiti]

December 10

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
She must learn to speak
starting with I
starting with We
starting as the infant does
with her own true hunger
and pleasure
and rage.
--Marge Piercy
Once there was a writer who was writing a book for children. He decided to ask his son for ideas. "What would you like to tell other children?" he asked. He thought the boy would say something like, "Everybody love everybody." But instead the boy said, "Number one, ignore what your parents say about nutritious food. Number two, don't go to school."
The father laughed and thanked the boy for his ideas, even though they weren't what he expected. He loved his son for being able to feel and express his desires so strongly.
We all have a child within us, no matter how old we are. When we honor that child, we also honor who we have become, and we free ourselves to express our truest feelings.
What does the child within me want to do today?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
If you can just observe what you are and move with it, then you will find that it is possible to go infinitely far. --J. Krishnamurti
"Boys don't cry" is bad training for males. Worse than that were ideas like, "Don't pass up a dare," "Nice guys finish last," "Be a good provider," "Be aggressive." Some of these ideas have some value, but problems came from adopting them as the only way to be. We thought we had to work at being the strongest, the best, the least vulnerable. Now we are learning how weak and fragile such thinking actually makes men. It sets us up to go to the extremes we found in our addictions and codependency.
Weakness isn't the alternative to this thinking. Developing our spiritual side, we see that we don't have to work at being what we already are. A man can be strong enough to show his vulnerability. He can choose the opportunity to advance a relationship with his child over the opportunity to advance his career. He can choose to pass by a challenge without shame because he doesn't wish to spend his energy there.
I will be stronger today by simply allowing myself to be true to my feelings.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
The forgiving state of mind is a magnetic power for attracting good. No good thing can be withheld from the forgiving state of mind. --Catherine Ponder
Forgiveness fosters humility, which invites gratitude. And gratitude blesses us; it makes manifest greater happiness. The more grateful we feel for all aspects of our lives, the greater will be our rewards. We don't recognize the goodness of our lives until we practice gratitude. And gratitude comes easiest when we're in a forgiving state of mind.
Forgiveness should be an ongoing process. Attention to it daily will ease our relationships with others and encourage greater self-love. First on our list for forgiveness should be ourselves. Daily, we heap recriminations upon ourselves. And our lack of self-love hinders our ability to love others, which in turn affects our treatment of them. We've come full circle--and forgiveness is in order. It can free us. It will change our perceptions of life's events, and it promises greater happiness.
The forgiving heart is magical. My whole life will undergo a dynamic change when I develop a forgiving heart.


You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
Empowerment
You can think. You can make good decisions. You can make choices that are right for you.
Yes, we all make mistakes from time to time. But we are not mistakes.
We can make a new decision that takes new information into account.
We can change our mind from time to time. That's our right too.
We don't have to be intellectuals to make good choices. In recovery, we have a gift and a goal available to each of us. The gift is called wisdom.
Other people can think too. And that means we no longer have to feel responsible for other people's decisions.
That also means we are responsible for our choices.
We can reach out to others for feedback. We can ask for information. We can take opinions into account. But it is our task to make our own decisions. It is our pleasure and right to have our own opinions.
We are each free to embrace and enjoy the treasure of our own mind, intellect, and wisdom.
Today, I will treasure the gift of my mind. I will do my own thinking, make my own choices, and value my opinions. I will be open to what others think, but I will take responsibility for myself. I will ask for and trust that the Divine Wisdom is guiding me.


Today I trust the positive and loving people to whom I am attracted. Today I am free to share from my heart, knowing that what I say will be treated with love and respect. --Ruth Fishel

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Journey To The Heart

Heal from Past Betrayals

Healing from betrayal is connected to healing and opening the heart.

Many of us have become quite skillful at denying feelings of betrayal, ignoring those situations when we not only feel betrayed, we truly have been betrayed.

Life happens. Sometimes people do things that hurt us. People may have let us down, not protected us. People may have deceived us. We live in a world with people who have a lot of issues. We live in a world that moves fast and isn’t always kind, just, or fair.

We may be moving so fast that we gloss over situations where we have been betrayed. Things just weren’t right. The numbers don’t add up.

If we haven’t dealt with past betrayals, if we haven’t cleansed and healed those break lines on the heart, we won’t be able to deal with the betrayals going on right now. The part of our hearts that’s sensitive to betrayal has been numbed, sometimes damaged, because it hasn’t been allowed to heal. We may stay in situations much longer than is good for us to do. We may not speak up when we need to. We may quietly stand there saying, That’s just how people are. And so our hearts break a little more and we go a little more numb. And that beautiful, precious part of ourselves, our heart, closes– not just to the person betraying us, but to all the beauty in life.

Yes, sometimes, that’s just the way life is. But we don’t need to stand there and keep letting life do that. We can open our hearts by healing those break lines. We can keep it open by being vulnerable and safe enough to feel, express, and take whatever actions our heart leads us to when betrayal occurs.

The head is connected to the heart. This connection is important. Healing betrayal will help keep that connection clear.

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More Language Of Letting Go

Become amazed at what you see

We were on a trip through the Southwest when we turned around a bend in New Mexico. Lake Albiquiu, the sign said. The campground was seated on a bluff overlooking a large man-made lake. We decided it was so beautiful we’d camp there for the night. We selected just the right spot to give us the best view of the sun rising in the morning. We wanted to see the light hit the red rock cliffs in the distance.

Hiking around the edge of the bluff, we found a tiny cactus bursting with bright red flowers sitting in the shade of a windblown tree. We sat for a while then scrambled down to the water and sat on a big rock that jutted out into the lake. We swam. The water was cold, but refreshing, and the early summer sun felt good on our skin.

Later we cooked supper on the little gas stove. “Should we set up the tent?” I asked, eager to see the new tent set up in the wilderness.

“The weather is nice,” my friend said. “Let’s just throw our bags on the ground and sleep out.”

That was an idea! I had never slept under the stars before. We lay there in the gathering darkness and watched as one by one the stars softly glowed into view. I closed my eyes and dozed.

Moments later, a bird sang a goodnight song from a nearby tree, and I opened my eyes to see a blanket of stars overhead. The Milky Way cut a path through the night sky, and there were so many unfamiliar stars that I could hardly distinguish the constellations I knew. I didn’t want to close my eyes, I didn’t want to miss a moment of this incredible sight.

Camping in a state park may not count to some of the hard-core wilderness folks. But we each have different levels of freedom in our lives. Freedom means tasting new things, having new experiences, and pursuing our dreams no matter how small they might be. Recapture the magic of a time in your life when everything was new and amazing. Discover what’s possible for you. Then be amazed at what you see.

God, give me a sense of the possible in my life. Then help me be amazed at just how beautiful life can be.

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Reflections of Self
We Are All Mirrors for Each Other

When we look at other people, we see many of their qualities in innumerable and seemingly random combinations. However, the qualities that we see in the people around us are directly related to the traits that exist in us. "Like attracts like" is one of the spiritual laws of the universe. We attract individuals into our lives that mirror who we are. Those you feel drawn to reflect your inner self back at you, and you act as a mirror for them. Simply put, when you look at others, you will likely see what exists in you. When you see beauty, divinity, sweetness, or light in the soul of another, you are seeing the goodness that resides in your soul. When you see traits in others that evoke feelings of anger, annoyance, or hatred, you may be seeing reflected back at you those parts of yourself that you have disowned or do not like.

Because we are all mirrors for each other, looking at the people in your life can tell you a lot about yourself. Who you are can be laid bare to you through what you see in others. It is easy to see the traits you do not like in others. It is much more difficult to realize that you possess those same traits. Often, the habits, attitudes, and behaviors of others are closely linked to our unconscious and unresolved issues.

When you come into contact with someone you admire, search your soul for similarly admirable traits. Likewise, when you meet someone exhibiting traits that you dislike, accept that you are looking at your reflection. Looking at yourself through your perception of others can be a humbling and eye-opening experience. You can also cultivate in you the traits and behaviors that you do like. Be loving and respectful to all people, and you will attract individuals that will love and respect you back. Nurture compassion and empathy and let the goodness you see in others be your mirror. Daily OM

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A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

Have i ever stopped to think that the impulse to “blow off steam” and say something unkind or even vicious will, if followed through, hurt me far more seriously than the person to whom the insult is directed? I must try constantly to quiet my mind before I act with impatience or hostility, for my mind can be — in that very real way — an enemy as great as any I’ve ever known. Will I look before I leap, think before I speak — and try to avoid self-will to the greatest extent possible?

Today I Pray

May I remember that my blow-ups and explosions, when they are torrents of accusations or insults, hurt me just as much as the other person. May I try not to let my anger get to the blow-up stage, simply be recognizing it as I go along and stating it as a fact.

Today I Will Remember

Keep a loose lid on the teapot.

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One More Day

In these times one must write with one’s life. This is the challenge to all of us.
– Antoine de St. Exupery

When we were younger, many of us had a prescribed course of life — first school, a job, marriage, and then children. we never realized, and luckily so, that we would be dealt cards in a game we wouldn’t want to play.

With the illness, sorrows, and pain have come jooy, delight, and happiness. We would not have wanted to see into the furture, but now that we are here, we all want to live life as well as we are able. The need to deal as best we can with our burdens advances us toward positive actions and thoughts. What good or bad things happen to us do not determine a life’s story as much as the choices we make. We can shoose to be challenged. We can choose our directions.

Changes or improvements can begin today with the decision I make.

[bluidkiti]

December 11

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
Feelings are everywhere--gentle. --J. Masai
Throughout the day we experience many feelings. Losing something makes us angry. Fighting with a friend makes us sad. Perhaps we're lonely because no one is home. Getting an unexpected treat makes us happy. Our feelings come and go just like the hours of our lives.
Letting our feelings be whatever they are is good. They'll go away in time. We may not like all feelings; sadness or anger may be uncomfortable, but being human means we'll have many different feelings each day. If we're quiet with them, they'll help us grow and understand others better, and then they will suddenly be gone, replaced perhaps by a feeling we like more.
Will I be able to accept my feelings today whether I like them or not?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
The art of living lies not in eliminating but in growing with troubles. -- Bernard M. Baruch
Naturally, we wish to avoid pain and difficulty, but life experience and a measure of reflection show us that most of what comes our way is beyond our control. We'll never outwit all the possibilities for trouble, even if we live to be 100 years old. We have often failed to learn from trouble because we cast ourselves in the roles of passive men and victims. We pointed outside ourselves and said, "Look at what is happening to poor me!"
When we use trouble as our teacher, we develop the art of living. We are taking a spiritual approach, using our Higher Power as our guide. We can choose today to use our difficulties for our learning and growth. We might ask, "What can I learn from this experience about myself as a man? How can I use this to strengthen myself for the future?" Serenity develops, not by eliminating life's difficulties, but by having a reliable relationship with our Higher Power in the midst of it all.
With God as my guide, I will use whatever comes my way as an opportunity for growth.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
Occupation is essential. --Virginia Woolf
Having desires, setting goals, and achieving them are necessary to our fulfillment. There is purpose to our lives, even when we can't clearly see our direction; even when we doubt our abilities to contribute. Let us continue to respond to our opportunities.
Many of us experienced the clouds of inaction in earlier periods waiting, waiting, waiting, hoping our circumstances would change, even praying they would, but taking no responsibility for changing what was in our power. Inaction caged us. Stripped of power, life held little or no meaning. However, we've been given another chance. The program has changed our lives. We have a reason for living, each day, even the days we feel hopeless and worthless.
Maybe we are without a goal at this time. Perhaps the guidance is not catching our attention. We can become quiet with ourselves and let our daydreams act as indicators. We have something essential to do, and we are being given all the chances we'll need to fulfill our purpose. We can trust in our worth, our necessity to others.
I will remember, the program came to me. I must have a part to play. I will look and listen for my opportunities today.


You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
Affirmations
One of our choices in recovery is choosing what we want to think - using our mental energy positively.
Positive mental energy, positive thinking, does not mean we think unrealistically or revert to denial. If we don't like something, we respect our own opinion. If we spot a problem, we're honest about it. if something isn't working out, we accept reality. But we don't dwell on the negative parts of our experience.
Whatever we give energy to, we empower.
There is magic in empowering the good, because whatever we empower grows bigger. One way to empower the good is through affirmations: simple positive statements we make to ourselves: I love myself... I'm good enough... My life is good...I'm glad I'm alive today... What I want and need is coming to me... I can...
Our choice in recovery is not whether to use affirmations. We've been affirming thoughts and beliefs since we were old enough to speak. The choice in recovery is what we want to affirm.
Today, I will empower the good in myself, others, and life. I'm willing to release, or let go of, negative thought patterns and replace them with positive ones. I will choose what I want to affirm, and I will make it good.


The world can not change overnight, nor can I. Just one step at a time, one day at a time, I'm exactly where I need to be to get to exactly where I am going. I trust this process today. --Ruth Fishel

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Journey To The Heart

Make Time to Play

Go play. Yes, take a break and go play. When your head starts to pound and your back starts to ache, stop. Do something you want to do. Something that feels good, feels fun. Leave your worries behind. Put them in a box, then close it, and go play.

We make sure that our children take time for recess every day. But we forget that we need recess,too. The lingering threads of work and worry can tie us to tasks done and undone. They can block our connection to joy, creativity, and the vital life-giving force that courses through us all.

We no longer need to slump with tension and fatigue. It isn’t necessary and it doesn’t help a thing. Most often, it hurts. Your fatigue may be from lack of play as much as lack of sleep. You might begin to see that you don’t need a rest, a nap, or more vitamin C. You need to play.

Play as much as you can. Find time– take time– to play. It may give you the energy you need.

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More Language Of Letting Go

Touch and taste your life

Tonight, the sun set like a red ball over the hill to the west of the house. There’s an eclipse coming in just a few days, and the ocean knows it. She can feel the moon. She rises high on her haunches, ready to pounce, then slowly rolls forward. The waves build and stretch until finally the lip crumbles and the back of the wave chases the front of the wave culminating in a massive waterfall. She smashes against the pilings, shaking the entire house. The sky is rose, lavender, and black. The house smells richly of the pasta and meat sauce in the pots on the stove. A cedar log burning in the fireplace warms the room.

This is my experience now. It’s an enchanted moment when the world rests but is still alive.

Experience is the privilege of being human. I can taste the spagetti. I can smell the salt of the ocean. I can feel the burning cedar taking the chill out of the air. I can love. I can hurt. What a sweet experience this is. And I thank God for every moment and feeling of each experience I’ve been given.

Do you taste your life? Or do you float through it unaware of the beauty that surrounds you each day? We weren’t meant to sleep all the time. Sometimes when we first become sober or begin recovering from codependency, we wonder what we’ll ever do with all this time and all the feelings that we’re left with now that the alcohol and drama have been taken away.

Revel in the experience you’re going through. Feel, touch, and taste each moment of your life. Then be aware of how exquisitely beautiful it is.

What’s you’re experience right now?

God, help me be aware of the beauty and power that flows through this universe. Help me remember how connected I am to that beauty and power through each experience I’ve been given.

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Blessing Our Bodies
Self-Body Scan

by Madisyn Taylor

We can detect subtle changes in our own bodies by performing our own energy scan on a regular basis.


As the living vehicles for our spirits, our bodies deserve loving attention and care. We can positively affect our health, prevent illness, and heal injuries by regularly focusing our mental and spiritual energy on the workings of our bodies. This can be done by performing a body scan on yourself.

Begin by lying in a comfortable position and taking three deep cleansing breaths. Imagine, if you will, a sunbeam entering the top of your head. Feel this light slowly scanning each part of your internal body. Allow it to scan every cell in your body and keep breathing. Every time you exhale, blow out negative energy you may feel. Notice any changes in your body. Sensations may vary from person to person. You may feel a shift in body temperature, see a color or flash of light, or hear a voice offering you guidance. If you feel a block in a certain area of your body, sit with that block and feel into it. Ask your body why that block is there and what you need to do to release it. Try not to judge or analyze the wisdom that comes to you. Often, we experience energy blocks in our body because our body is trying to tell us something. You may want to breathe into that area until you feel the block dissolving. When you have finished your scan, take one last deep breath and exhal! e any energetic residue that you are ready to release.

The body doesn’t lie, and it has much wisdom to share with us. Any injuries or blocks that exist in our bodies are there so that we can learn from having them in our bodies. An existing injury can teach us to slow down or help us recognize that something is out of balance in our bodies. The more you scan your body, the better you will become at it. If you sense that something is not right in your body, you may want to visit a doctor and tell them about your experience. When you have finished your scan, don’t forget to thank your wonderful, amazing body. Published with permission from Daily OM

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A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

Before I came to The Program — in fact, before I knew of The Program’s existence — I drifted from crisis to crisis. Occasionally, I tried to use my will to chart a new course; however, like a rudderless ship, I inevitably foundered once again on the rocks of my own despair. Today, in contrast, I receive guidance from my Higher Power. Sometimes, the only answer is a sense of peace or an assurance that all is well. Even though there may be a time of waiting before I see results, or before any direct guidance comes, will I try to remain confident that things are working out in ways that will be for the greatest good of everyone concerned?

Today I Pray

May I not expect instant, verbal communication with my Higher Power, like directions on a stamped, self-addressed post-card. May I have patience, and listen, and sense that God is present. May I accept my new feelings of radiant warmth and serenity as God’s way of assuring me that I am, finally, making some good choices.

Today I Will Remember

Patience: God’s message will come.

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One More Day

I’ve heard He works with broken people, I am sick, hurting, broken. I am waiting and willing now….
– Flora E. Meredith

Sometimes life can feel so hopeless. Pain, anxiety about health, and fear can plague our thoughts. Admitting things are out of our control can be so hard. It takes a tremendous amount of courage to admit that we need help. Giving ourselves over to the care of our Higher Power is frightening when we have become used to taking care of our own needs.

The hardest job is ours, though, for we must be willing to let go of that part of ourselves that is troubled, in order to become whole once again. We must be willing to let go in order to be helped.

I have made the hardest move and placed myself into the care of my Higher Power. Now I must wait.

[bluidkiti]

December 12

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
Patience is needed with everyone, but first of all with ourselves. --Saint Francis De Sales
One night Sandra was having trouble putting a puzzle together. Angrily, she pushed all the pieces into a huge pile.
"I can't do this," she said. She got up and walked over to the couch and plopped down.
"Let me tell you a story," said her dad, as he sat down next to her. "There was a daughter who helped her dad take care of her baby sister. Again and again, she helped her baby sister stand and try to walk. One day the daughter tried to put a puzzle together but gave up after only a few tries. She had forgotten how many times she had helped her baby sister."
We are all like Sandra, sometimes. We forget to allow ourselves to fail, even though our growth up to now has been a series of failures that we learned from. With patience, we allow ourselves to take chances we might not otherwise explore, and we widen our world of possibilities. Life has been patient with us so far, now it's our turn.
What have I failed at that I can try again today?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
I like a man with faults, especially when he knows it. To err is human - I'm uncomfortable around gods. --Hugh Prather
We are more comfortable around a man who has faults and knows it. We respect such a man. So why do we have such a hard time admitting our own faults? This matter of honesty comes very gradually and only with hard work. We may have to force ourselves to admit a fault because we expect to feel unworthy. In fact, what we do feel after admitting a fault is peacefulness and self-respect. We may expect to be rejected and judged by friends, but usually friendships grow more solid when we admit our faults. A true friend does not need to trust that we will always be right, only that we will be honest.
At this moment are we being nagged by some fault? Is there something about the way we have talked to someone that doesn't seem right? Have we been unfair or dishonest? This is a program of progress, not perfection. So, to make progress we admit our imperfections, and as we do, we become more fully human.
God, in this moment when I feel my human mistakes, help me to be open to your love.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
If I am to be remembered, I hope it is for the honesty I try to demonstrate, the patience I try to live by, and the compassion I feel for others. --JoAnn Reed
Each of us hopes we are leaving a lasting, positive impression on those we befriend and maybe even those we encounter by chance. Having others speak well of us provides the strokes that are often necessary to our "keeping on" when difficulties surface. What we sometimes forget is that we are responsible for whatever lasting impression we leave.
Our behavior does influence what another person carries away from our mutual experience.
We may have left unfavorable impressions during our using days. On occasion, we do yet. However, it's progress, not perfection, we're after. And each day we begin anew, with a clear slate and fresh opportunities to spread good cheer, to treat others with love and respect, to face head-on and with full honesty all situations drawing our attention and participation.
As I look forward to the hours ahead, I will remember that I control my actions toward others. If I want to be remembered fondly, I must treat each person so.


You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
God's Will
Each day, ask God what God wants us to do today; then ask God to help. A simple request, but so profound and far reaching it can take us anywhere we need to go.
Listen: all that we want, all that we need, all the answers, all the help, all the good, all the love, all the healing, all the wisdom, all the fulfillment of desire is embodied in this simple request. We need say no more than Thank You.
This Plan that has been made for us is not one of deprivation. It is one of fullness, joy, and abundance. Walk into it.
See for yourself.
Today, I will ask God to show me what God wants me to do for this day, and then ask for help to do that. I will trust that is sufficient to take me into light and joy.


There is something special waiting for me to do with this day. I know that when it is time I will be inspired from a place deep within myself. I trust that I will know what to do when the time is right. --Ruth Fishel

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Journey To The Heart

Protect Your Energy

Just as we strive to protect and conserve earth’s energy resources, we can strive to protect and conserve our own. Become more aware of the impact of things, people, and activities on you and your energy. What feeds you, charges you? What drains and depletes you?

As you grow and become more sensitive to how things feel to you, you’ll naturally grow to dislike and be uncomfortable with whatever drains or negatively impacts your energy. Yes, some difficult, draining situations are inevitable. But we can learn to protect ourselves in those situations. Sometimes we need to let go of people, places, and behaviors that don’t work for us anymore, that drain, exhaust, and deplete us.

Pay attention to the impact of certain people, places, behaviors, and events on your energy. Pay attention to how you feel when you eat certain foods, drink certain beverages, go certain places. Learn to listen to your body, your emotions, and your heart. Be prepared to let go of some things and people along the way. Be gentle with yourself while you do.

Learn to conserve your energy. It is a precious, valuable resource.

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More Language Of Letting Go

Create an extraordinary life

I ran into my friend one day on the street. I asked him how he was. He said not very good. But if he won the lottery– and he showed me a few tickets– he’d be happy then. I asked him if business was slow. He said, yes, income was down and bills were up. He needed a big hit to balance the ledger sheet.

We talked for a while. I asked him what he made an hour. He said $100, but he was mostly getting appointments for half-hour sessions. He was a therapist, and business wasn’t very promising right now.

“Gee,” I said, counting up the hours in a week, “if you worked four half hours a day, that’s $1,000 dollars a week and $4,000 a month. Sounds like pretty good income, at least to me.”

“I never thought of it that way,” he said.

“Instead of trying to win the lottery or get that big break, why don’t you try to happily do just four half hours of work a day? Then you don’t have to win the lottery to break the bank. You’ll be pretty well off right now.”

It’s easy to want to win the big one or think of a windfall as the only solution to the problems we face. And the lottery we want to win might not be just in money. We can easily take that kind of thinking into our relationships or our work. Buy a chance to win the lottery, if that’s what you want to do. But maybe you could look at things a different way. What if you stopped going for the big one and tried to do a lot of little things well? You could work on being the best friend that you could be. Or maybe you could get closer to that person you are dating. Instead of waiting for the perfect soul mate to come along, just be the best boyfriend or girlfriend in the relationship you already have. Instead of waiting to win the lottery, make the most out of all the ordinary moments in your life today.

You’re richer than you think.

God, help me remember that many ordinary moments, when well-lived, add up to an extraordinary life.

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Finding Your Pinnacle
Mountain Meditation

by Madisyn Taylor

Meditating near a mountain can be both powerful and grounding in a most profound way.


Throughout history, humankind has stood in awe of mountains. The strength and sturdiness evident in the rocky crags and smooth slopes of peaks around the globe have from time immemorial inspired creativity and kindled courage. Mountains have been venerated by many cultures, which worshipped great summits as gods and sacred beings. In their looming presence, humanity has seen power, steadfastness, and resolve. Yet you needn’t live near a mountain to tap into this vast energy of commanding grandeur. Conversely, since mountains are as unique in form as human beings, your locale may exist under the unwavering gaze of a small mountain without your knowing it. As you practice mountain meditation, the power that lurks in the heart of all mountains will flow into you while their essential beauty reminds you that you, too, are a creature of the earth.

If there are mountains in your area, plan to spend some time enjoying the peaceful embrace of Mother Nature, which can be a potent meditation aid. Likewise, grasping a rock or stone in your hand will enable you to easily tap into earth energy. If you are prevented by circumstance from visiting a mountain, however, begin by visualizing yourself at the base of a towering summit. Holding a rock can be helpful to tune into mountain energy. You may find yourself picturing a steep and majestic snowcapped peak or a lush, tree-covered mass that rises gently from the earth. Sit or imagine yourself sitting at the mountain’s base and spend a few minutes simply coexisting with it. When you feel tranquil, express your intention to commune with your mountain and ask to receive its energy. Project your consciousness onto the mountain’s peak, and look down upon the flatlands over which it stands guard. Send light to the flora and fauna that call the mountain home. You may discover that you ! feel wonderfully immense and unshakable as you delve deeper into the meditation.

Finally, ask the mountain to serve as a guide and give it your sincerest gratitude. If you have literally visited a plateau or summit, pass time with the mountain by camping, hiking, or picnicking upon it. Or, if your journey has been a spiritual one, use your imagination to survey the sights, sounds, and scents of your mountain. As your explorations progress, you will become ever more grounded, growing gradually into your personal power. When you are finished meditating with mountain energy, give thanks to this strong and powerful energy for sharing time with you. Daily OM

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A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

These days, if I go though an experience that is new and demanding, I can do so in a spirit of confidence and trust. Thanks to The Program and Twelve Steps, I’ve come to know that God is with me in all places and in all endeavors. His Spirit is in me as well as in the people around me. As a result, I feel comfortable even in new situations and at home even among strangers. Will I continue to flow along and grow along with The Program, trusting in the power and love of God at work in me and in my life?

Today I Pray

May God’s comfort be with me in all situations, familiar or new. May He rebuild the sagging bridge of my confidence. May I acknowledge God in me and in others around me. May that mutual identity in God help me communicate with people on a plane of honesty. If I can learn to trust God, I can learn to trust the ones who share this earth with me.

Today I Will Remember

God teaches me how to trust.

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One More Day

Unreal is action without discipline, charity without sympathy, ritual without devotion.
Bhaqavadqita

It’s so easy to routinely go about our lives without examining our motives, without deciding why we do the things we do. We may have become so accustomed to reacting to what we think is expected of us that we rarely ponder what we expect of ourselves. At what point do we become willing to know ourselves?

Now may be the right moment to decide whether we act upon our own values, beliefs, and feelings, or whether we react to some vague sense of what others expect. By doing this, we might be surprised in discover that our charitable and spiritual actions do not change but they will become real because they are created by our inward sense of direction, discipline, love of others, and acceptance of self.

The things I say and do today will be directed by what I expect of myself, not by what I think others expect of me.

[bluidkiti]

December 13

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
To heal ourselves is a reclamation of the power we all have as living beings to live in harmony with the life energy and to fulfill our potential as creatures among many on this planet. --Chellis Glendinning
We live in a world that tells us healing only comes from outside ourselves. To some, it may seem odd to think each of us has the ability to heal ourselves.
How is this possible? Easy--we can do it if we believe we can. Whatever we believe we cannot do will remain beyond our ability. But believing we can heal ourselves gives us access to many healing ways. Self-acceptance is healing. Singing, playing, walking by a river are healing. Even helping others with their problems can be healing to us. There are as many ways of self-healing as there are people in the world. Once we experience what is healing for us, we can go on to discover many more healing acts to share with others.
What healing things do I like to do?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
Let nothing disturb you. Let nothing frighten you. Everything passes away except God. --Saint Theresa
Learning to detach may be the most demanding and difficult part of this program. Detachment means being filled with closeness and love toward someone, yet knowing we cannot fix or protect that person. It means we can be in emotional contact but don't have to react to someone else's issues. We respond from our own center with what is fitting for us. Being detached means we allow others to be in the hands of God because we cannot live their lives for them. Detachment gives us an inner calm, an acceptance of our limits, and the freedom to live our own lives with integrity.
Detachment is a skill in living, and like other skills, we can practice it. Gradually, it becomes a natural response. True detachment takes root and grows within us over a period of time as we deepen our relationship with the Steps and with our Higher Power.
Today, I turn to God as my eternal rock for strength in learning to become detached.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
Across the fields I can see the radiance of your smile and I know in my heart you are there. But the anguish I am feeling makes the distance so very far to cross. --Deidra Sarault
Looking down the hallway of our lives, we sense many uncomfortable corners. And they are there. But through the discomfort comes the ease of understanding. The security that we long for, we discover has been ours all along. All we needed to do was move into the corner--with trust.
As we stand before any problems, any new task, any unfamiliar environment, dread may overwhelm us. We stand there alone. But the choice available to us now and always is to invite the spirit of God to share the space we're in. In concert with God's Spirit, no problem or task can be greater than our combined abilities to handle it.
Our lives will be eased in direct proportion to our faith that God is there, caring for our every concern, putting before us the experiences we need to grow on. We can let go of our anguish, our doubts and fears. Eternal triumph is ours for the asking.
The smiling faces I encounter today--I will let them assure me that all is well.


You are reading from the book The Language Of Letting Go.
Giving
Don't be afraid of giving.
For a while, we may need to back off from giving as we learn to discern the difference between healthy giving and caretaking, which leave us feeling victimized and others feeling resentful.
This is a temporary spot.
To be healthy, to do our part in this spiritual way of life, to be part of the endless cycle of the Universe, guided by our Creator, we need to give and receive.
Both parts are important.
What is healthy giving?
This is a fine lined behavior each of us must seek to understand for ourselves. It is giving that feels good and does not leave us feeling victimized.
It is giving that holds the giver and the receiver in high esteem.
It is giving based on a desire to do it rather than from a sense of guilt, pity, shame, or obligation.
It is giving with no strings attached. Or it is giving based on a clean, direct contract.
Whether it is giving our time, efforts, energy, comfort, nurturing, money, or ourselves, it is giving that we can afford.
Giving is part of the chain of giving and receiving. We can learn to give in healthy ways; we can learn to give in love. We need to keep an eye on our giving, to make sure it has not crossed the line into caretaking. But we need to learn to give in ways that work for us and others.
Today, God, guide me in my giving. Help me give to others in healthy ways. Help me give what feels right, what feels good, what feels clean, and what I can afford.


Today I am willing to share all of me with another human being. I am willing to trust that this process will free me from the burdens of my past. I am ready to let go. --Ruth Fishel

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Journey To The Heart

Learn to Live with Ambiguity

Sometimes, the picture isn’t finished yet. Ideas, possibilities, hopes, dreams float around, circling us like asteroids around a planet. We may think events in our lives are happening aimlessly, without purpose. All we see are disconnected, floating blobs. We reach for them, try to grab them in our hands so we can connect them, force them into a whole, force them into a picture we can see, something that makes sense.

Let the pieces be. Let yourself be. Let life be. Sometimes, chaos needs to precede order. The pieces will come together in a picture that makes sense, in a beautiful work of art that pleases.

You don’t have to force the pieces to fit together if it’s not time. You don’t have to know. There is power sometimes in not knowing. There is power in letting go. Power is waiting. Power in stillness. Power in trust. There is power in letting the disconnected pieces be until they settle into a whole. The action you are to take will appear. Timely. Clearly. What you’re to do will become clear.

Let the pieces be, and they’ll take shape. Soon you’ll see the picture.

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More Language Of Letting Go

Let go of afflicted emotional streams

Step out of afflicted streams.

I was walking through a national park one day when I came upon a stream. I wasn’t looking closely; I decided to step into the water and walk through it to get to the other side. When I looked more closely, I gasped and stood back. The stream was all murky and gross. I didn’t want to wade in it.

Most teachers of our times and from times long past– from the Dalai Lama to Emmet Fox– agree on one things: stay away from murky, afflicted emotional streams. Avoid them at all costs.

There’s a lot of afflicted streams out there: greed, envy, negativity, regret, revenge, resentment. arrogance, victimization, hard-heartedness, bitterness, control, hatred, resentment, and paralyzing fear are just a few. When we step into an afflicted emotional stream, that emotion colors everything we do.

An afflicted stream is more than an isolated emotion. It’s a position, a posture, an attitude, a pattern that will poison us and our lives. Look around. Be aware. Don’t be careless and step into an afflicted stream. If you’ve inadvertently slipped into one, then quickly step out.

Feeling restless, irritable, and discontented is definitely an afflicted stream. If you find yourself in that one, step right out into gratitude

God, help me let go of my emotions before that feeling becomes a way of life. Guide my thinking and outlook on life. Keep me out of afflicted streams.

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Greeting the Divine Spirit
Bowing

by Madisyn Taylor

Bowing has the quality of consciously evoking spirit and conveys a sense of reverence for the people involved.


Bowing is a universal gesture of respect and reverence. In many cultures, it is the predominant form of social greeting, and most religions incorporate it into their rituals of worship. In many cases, bowing signifies not only respect but also an acknowledgment of the shared divinity between the bower and the recipient. Bowing can also be a turning in toward our own divinity when we bow our heads in prayer, contemplation, or meditation. Bows range in form from a slight forward nod of the head to a full body prostration on the ground, and range in meaning from a simple greeting to a complete giving over of the self to the divine.

If you have ever bowed or been on the receiving end of a bow, you know that it is different from a handshake or a hug. Bowing has the quality of consciously evoking spirit and conveys a sense of reverence for the people involved. The word “Namaste,” which accompanies bowing in yoga, actually translates as “The divine spirit in me acknowledges the divine spirit in you.” When we greet one another with this kind of awareness, we can’t help but be more conscious that we are deeply connected to one another and to everyone, because this divine spirit resides in all of us.

There are simple bows and complicated bows, and subtle variations carry different meanings depending upon where you are, who you are, and a number of other factors. But we can all practice bowing by simply bringing our two hands together in prayer and pressing the thumb side of our hands lightly into our chests. Keeping a long spine, simply bend your head gently down so that you are looking at the tops of your fingers. Close your eyes and breathe consciously, paying homage to your spirit, the same spirit that resides within all of humanity. Published with permission from Daily OM

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A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

A friend in The Program told me of a favorite humn from her childhood: “Open my eyes that I may see glimpses of truth Thou hast for me.” In actuality, that is what The Program has done for me — it has opened my eyes so that I have come to see the true nature of my addiction, as well as the true nature of the joyous life that can be mine if I practice the principles embodied in The Program’s Twelve Steps to recovery. Through prayer and meditation, am I also improving my inner vision, so that I can better see God’s love and power working in me and through me?

Today I Pray

May each glint of truth that I catch sight of as I work the Steps begin to take on the steadier shine of a fixed star. May I know that these stars are all that I need to chart my course and navigate safely. May I no longer feel the frantic need to put in to every unknown port along the way in search of direction. These stars are always rube ti steer by.

Today I Will Remember

Find the fixed stars and fix on them.

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One More Day

‘Tis a lesson you should heed, Try, try again. If at first you don’t succeed, Try, try again.
– William E. Hickson

Our teachers told us to try again. Our parents reminded us to try again. And sometimes we even did try again! Usually it was something simple, like recopying poorly written homework. We hardly realized then that we would be carrying that message with us into adulthood. It’s often difficult to listen to good advice; it’s even harder to accept it.

When we learn to reassess our goals, to reset priorities, and to be more realistic about where we are really headed, trying again begins to make more sense. Trying again doesn’t always mean doing it over again. It can mean trying something entirely new. It can mean daring to change.

Trying again means I give myself room to grow.

[bluidkiti]

December 14

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
Each day comes bearing its gifts. Untie the ribbons. --Ann Ruth Schabacker
Today will be filled with surprises, big ones and small ones, like the gifts at a birthday party. Maybe we'll see a friend we haven't seen for a while. Or we'll find something we thought was lost. Whatever happens today will be special, and is meant to help us grow in just the right way.
Growing up doesn't always feel easy. We're expected to be more responsible and thoughtful of others. We're expected to be honest about our feelings and needs. If we're angry or scared, we need to tell someone. Sharing our secret about being afraid relieves us of the fear, and we feel lighter, happier, like after opening a special gift.
When I receive today's gifts, will I stop to appreciate them?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
No matter how old you get, if you can keep the desire to be creative, you're keeping the man-child alive. --John Cassavetes
Creation is the work of God. It is not given to most of us to be famous artists. But the spiritual experience of being creative is open to us when we take on a creative attitude toward what we are doing. We might do this on the job when we determine to do more than just get the job done. We may decide to have fun while we do what needs to be done, or we may decide to put our best spirit into the work before us. Some men find creativity in working with wood, others in coaching sports with children, someone else in cooking, and another in community service.
Being creative moves us toward wholeness as people. As we create on the outside, we are being created on the inside. The way in which we live every aspect of our lives is a creative, growing process and a partnership with God.
As I approach this day, I will have an attitude of creativity that will nurture the wondering child within me.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
A theme may seem to have been put aside, but it keeps returning--the same thing modulated, somewhat changed in form. --Muriel Rukeyser
No struggle we have is really new. It's another shade of the struggle that plagued us last week or perhaps last year. And we'll stumble again and again until we learn to quit struggling. The trying situations at work, or the personality type that irritates us, will always exist. But when we've come to accept as good and growth-enhancing all situations and all persons, we'll sense the subtle absence of struggle. We'll realize that the person we couldn't tolerate has become a friend. The situation we couldn't handle is resolved, forever.
The lessons we need to learn keep presenting themselves, until we've finished the homework. If we sense a struggle today, we can look at it as an assignment, one that is meant for our growth. We can remember that our struggles represent our opportunities to grow. Fortunately, the program has given us a tutor. We have a willing teacher to help us. We need to move on, to be open to other assignments. No problem will be too much for us to handle.
I will enjoy my role as student today. I will be grateful for all opportunities to grow. They make possible my very special contribution in this life.


You are reading from the book The Language Of Letting Go.
Clear Thinking
Strive for clear thinking. Many of us have had our thinking clouded by denial. Some of us have even lost faith in ourselves because we've spent a degree of time in denial. But losing faith in our thinking isn't going to help us. What we need to lose faith in is denial.
We didn't resort to denial - either of someone else's problem or our own - because we were deficient. Denial, the shock absorber for the soul, protects us until we are equipped to cope with reality.
Clear thinking and recovery don't mean we will never resort to denial. Denial is the first step toward acceptance, and for most of our life, we will be striving to accept something.
Clear thinking means we don't allow ourselves to become immersed in negativity or unrealistic expectations. We stay connected to other recovering people. We go to our meetings, where peace of mind and realistic support are available. We work the Steps, pray, and meditate.
We keep our thinking on track by asking our Higher Power to help us think clearly - not by expecting Him, or someone else, to do our thinking for us.
Today, I will strive for balanced, clear thought in all areas of my life.


Today I can look back with love in my heart, knowing that every moment, every experience of my life has been necessary, valuable and significant. --Ruth Fishel

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Journey To The Heart

Open Your Heart to Universal Love

We live in a magical, living, vital, and personal universe, a world where universal love is real.

We don’t just live in it, we’re part of it, visibly and tangibly connected to it. The phone call that comes at the right time. A book that teaches us what we need to know. A movie that has the message we need to guide us and open our hearts. An opportunity that arises, at just the right moment. An idea triggered by something someone says or an object we didn’t notice before.

The more we open to universal love, the more it will be there for us, embracing, loving, holding, guiding us. The more we learn to see it, the more it will be there– until we wonder why we never saw it before.

Open your heart to universal love. It’s more than merely there. It’s there for you. Jump into the arms of a living, magical world and you leap into the arms of universal love. See how real it can be.

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More Language Of Letting Go

You’re not a survivor anymore

Many years ago, I asked a fellow therapist what the one thing was that hallmarked the unhappy state of being many of us have come to label as codependency.

“It’s the Karpman Drama Triangle,” he said. “People rescue someone by doing something they don’t want to do, or it’s not their business to do. Then they get angry and persecute the person. Then they walk away, feeling like a victim. Again.”

A light when on in that moment. Like a gerbil on a wheel, I could see myself spinning around this triangle. I was regularly rescuing somebody, then getting angry, and ultimately feeling victimized by it all.

I was creating the pain and the drama in my life.

Over the years, I stopped rescuing alcoholics. Many of us have gotten off that painful wheel. We know we can’t control another person’s chemical dependency, depression, problems, or life. But we may have stepped off that wheel and gotten ourselves into another more subtle drama spin.

A friend recently cleaned our his entire house– closets, garage, drawers. He had to hire a truck to come and take everything away.

“I can’t believe everything I collected and hung onto,” he said. “Most of it was junk that I didn’t want in the first place. I guess that came from being poor and going without for so long. I convinced myself that if it was free or cheap, I’d better grab it and take it home.”

Many of us were survivors at one time. We either genuinely didn’t have a choice or convinced ourselves we didn’t. So we clung to whoever and whatever came along our path.

You may have survived what you went through, but you’re not a survivor anymore. There is no need to desperately cling to whatever comes along. You’re living now. You’re living fully and freely.

Choose what you want.

God, help me give myself permission to walk a path with heart.

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People in Need
Taking Our Turn to Give

by Madisyn Taylor

The greatest gift we can give to somebody in need is giving awareness and without judgment.


When we see a person in need, we may want to give them something as a way of helping them, but if we give without taking the time to see who they really are, honoring that most of all, our gift is nowhere near as powerful as it could be. We may want to give a homeless person a sandwich, for example, but if we give it without also taking a moment to look the person in the eye, making authentic contact, we rob them of the experience of being human.

Being in a position of need leaves a lot of people feeling vulnerable and full of self-doubt. The greatest gift we can give is to meet people in need without judgment and with the awareness that we are not superior to them simply because we are not currently in their position. If we take the long view, we can see that we all began life in need of a lot of care and attention, and many of us end life in the same way. Giving and receiving are companion energies that take turns throughout our lives, and we all get a chance to be on both sides of the exchange from time to time.

It’s important to be aware of our own tendency to give from a desire to feel good about ourselves, rather than from an acknowledgement of our connection to all people. Letting go of our self-importance allows us to see that, regardless of appearances, we are all givers and receivers. When we are in the position of the giver, we honor those we are helping when we remember the many people who have helped us. Then we can look the person we are helping in the eye, aware that we are making contact with a human being who is our equal. Published with permission from Daily OM

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A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

Some of us in The Program are inclined to make the mistake of thinking that the few moments we spend in prayer and meditation — in “talking to God” — are all that count. The truth is that the attitude we maintain throughou7t the entire day is just as important. If we place ourselves in God’s hands in the morning, and throughout the day hold ourselves ready to accept His will as it is made known through the events of our daily life, our attitude of acceptance becomes a constant prayer. Can I try to cultivate an attitude of total acceptance each day?

Today I Pray

May I maintain contact with my Higher Power all through my day, not just check in for a prayer now and then. May my communion with God never become merely a casual aside. May I come to know that every time I do something that is in accord with God’s will I am living a prayer.

Today I Will Remember

Prayer is an attitude.

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One More Day

I am just a heartbeat away from loneliness.
– Laura Palmer

The holiday season can be difficult for anyone who has had a major life change. A person who has been widowed, has moved, or has had to deal with new physical limitations may become lonesome when each holiday, birthday, or anniversary rolls around.

We sometimes cause ourselves pain by isolating ourselves. We may feel that no one wants to share the holiday with us or that we don’t wish to impose the inconvenience of illness upodn friends.

By reminding ourselves of the meaning of these special days, we often find that we can move out of our isolation. Holidays and other occasions reaffirm the value of tradition, love, and family. These days compel us to remember our place within a welcoming circle of friends and family.

I can choose to reach out during the holidays — or any day.

[bluidkiti]

December 15

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
Great symphonies begin with just one note. --Priscilla Young Pratt
Sometimes it's really hard to get going. We put off things we don't want to do, or are afraid to try. We occasionally feel overwhelmed by the size of a job to be done like cleaning out the cellar or reading a long book for a class.
But think a minute. If Beethoven had thought about how complicated it was to write his Ninth Symphony, with all those instruments and voices and notes to blend together, do we really think he would ever have started? But he didn't get overwhelmed. He sat down and wrote just one small note, and then another, and a third. It took him months, but writing one note led to a second, and, one note at a time, he completed it.
We begin the same way with whatever tasks we have ahead of us. Each tiny bit of progress helps us go on to the next part. We begin by reading one page of that book, or taking one box of junk from the cellar. That's all we have to do. The rest will follow almost on its own. The trick is to begin.
What needs to be done today, and how do I start?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
My mother was dead for five years before I knew that I loved her very much.
--Lillian Hellman
Each day it helps us to remember that we are always changing. Whatever is most clear to us today or is most prominent in our feelings - the difficulties we may be having with parents, wives or lovers, the worries we have about our children - is a part of an unfolding of events we cannot foresee. Just when we think we know exactly the direction things are going, they surprise us with change. Relationships continue to evolve and mature as we do. Even when separated from loved ones, our relationships may improve because we continue to grow.
Our task for this day is to be honest with ourselves, to be respectful to others, and to stay open to our Higher Power. Continuing to go forward, we put one foot in front of the other. We are changing internally, and circumstances around us are changing too. We remain hopeful for the future because outcomes are in the hands of God.
I cannot predict the direction of my growth. I will simply remain true to myself today and stay open for surprises.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
Happiness is a form of freedom, and of all people I should be the freest. I've earned this happiness and this freedom.
--Angela L. Wozniak
Life is a process, and we are progressing beautifully. We are no longer abusing our bodies and minds with drugs. We are taking special time, daily, to look for guidance. We are working the Steps of the program, better and better as the abstinent days add up. We are free from past behaviors. And we can be free from our negative attitudes too.
Making a decision to look for the good in our experiences and in our friends and acquaintances frees us from so much frustration. It ushers in happiness, no only for us but for the others we are treating agreeably. Happiness is a byproduct of living the right kind of life.
We can take a moment today, each time an action is called for, to consider our response. The one that squares with our inner selves and feels good, is the right one. Happiness will accompany it.
Happiness is always within my power. My attitude is at the helm.


You are reading from the book The Language Of Letting Go.
Feelings
It's okay to have and feel our feelings - all of them.
Years into recovery, we may still be battling with ourselves about this issue. Of all the prohibitions we've lived with, this one is potentially the most damaging and the most long-lived.
Many of us needed to shut down the emotional part of ourselves to survive certain situations. We shut down the part of us that feels anger, sadness, fear, joy, and love. We may have turned off our sexual or sensual feelings too. Many of us lived in systems with people who refused to tolerate our emotions. We were shamed or reprimanded for expressing feelings, usually by people who were taught to repress their own.
But times have changed. It is okay now for us to acknowledge and accept our emotions. We don't need to allow our emotions to control us; neither do we need to allow our emotions to control us; neither do we need to rigidly repress our feelings. Our emotional center is a valuable part of us. It's connected to our physical well being, our thinking, and our spirituality.
Our feelings are also connected to that great gift, instinct. They enable us to give and receive love.
We are neither weak nor deficient for indulging in our feelings. It means we're becoming healthy and whole.
Today, I will allow myself to recognize and accept whatever feelings pass through me. Without shame, I will tune in to the emotional part of myself.


Today I am experiencing all of my life. It is exciting to be alive in each moment. written by ~ Ruth Fishel

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Journey To The Heart

Awaken Your Life Force

The Chinese call it chi. The Japanese,ki. It refers to energy, the life force, the Divine spirit of life that permeates all that is. That permeates you.

Awaken your life force. Do things that stimulate it, bring it alive. Walk on the ground with your bare feet and let the earth’s energy surge through you. Reach your hands toward the heavens and let Divine energy come down to you. Move around. Release the blocks.Feel. Love. Sing. Shout.

Come alive. Discover what it means to become vital and fully alive. Feel the life force surge through you, up through your legs, your spine, your head. Feel it wash down upon you through your arms, your torso, down through your toes and into the ground, rooting you to this planet like a tree. Know you have roots. Know you have branches.

Fill yourself with chi. Fill yourself until you feel vital, alive. Feel it until you become happy and joyful, grateful to be alive on this planet. Feel it until you know you are one with God, one with life, one with love. Feel it until you see how connected you are with all that lives.

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More Language Of Letting Go

Fall in love with life

I was sitting in the chair at the beauty shop getting my hair cut one day and listening to my beautician chatter away. She showed me a picture of one of her friends, a woman who had gotten married and recently had a baby girl.

“She’s been so in love since that child was born,” she said, showing me a picture of the new mother’s smiling face.

“In love with her husband?” I asked.

“No,” she said. “Well, that,too. I mean in love with life.”

Have you ever been in love, had your heart best fast when you anticipated the call of your lover, felt the way the sun felt warmer on your face, the sky appeared bluer, the clouds more fluffy, and the sunset more grand?

What if you could fall in love with your life and feel that way each day? I’m not saying romantic relationships are bad. They’re not. They’re part of being human and getting our needs met. But what if we could take all that passion and focus it into falling in love with life?

Maybe that is what is meant by universal love. Maybe that’s the part we give back.

Fall in love with your life today.

God, help me feel passionate about my life and all the possibilities that stretch out before me.

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Focused Value
Quality Vs. Quantity

We live in an age of quantity. The media shapes us with the notion that larger, faster, and more are often synonymous with better. We are told that we need to find more time, more possessions, and more love to be truly happy. A smaller quantity of anything that is high in quality will almost always be more satisfying. A single piece of our favorite chocolate or a thin spread of freshly made preserves can satisfy us more than a full bucket of a product that we aren’t very fond of. Similarly, one fulfilling experience can eclipse many empty moments strung together. It is not the quantity of time that matters, but the quality that you experience during each moment. Every minute is an opportunity to love yourself and others, develop confidence and self-respect, and exhibit courage.

Ultimately, quality can make life sweeter. When you focus on quality, all your life experiences can be meaningful. A modest portion of good, healthy food can nourish and satisfy you on multiple levels and, when organically grown, nourish the earth as well. Likewise, a few hours of deep, restful slumber will leave you feeling more refreshed than a night’s worth of frequently interrupted sleep. A few minutes spent with a loved one catching up on the important details about family, work, or community can carry more meaning than two hours spent watching television together.

Often, in the pursuit of quantity we cheat ourselves of quality. Then again, quantity also plays a significant role in our lives. Certain elements, such as hugs, kisses, abundance, and love, are best had in copious amounts that are high in quality. But faced with the choice between a single, heartfelt grin and a lifetime of empty smiles, most would, no doubt, choose the former. Ultimately, it is not how much you live or have or do but what you make of each moment that counts. Published with permission from Daily OM

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A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

Some people are such worriers that they worry about the fact that they have nothing to worry about. Newcomers in The Program sometimes feel, for example, “This is much too good to last.” Most of us, however, have plenty of real things to worry about — old standbys like money, health, death and taxes, to name just a few. But The Program tells us that the proven antidote to worry and fear is confidence — confidence not in ourselves, but in our Higher Power. Will I continue to believe that God can and will avert the calamity that I spend my days and nights dreading? Will I believe that if calamity does strike, God will enable me to see it through?

Today I Pray

May I realize that the worry habit — worry that grows out of broader, often unlabeled fears — will take more than time to conquer. Like many dependent people, I have lived with worry so long that it has become my constant, floor-pacing companion. May my Higher Power teach me that making a chum out of worry is a waste of my energy and fritters away my constructive hours.

Today I Will Remember

Kick the worry habit.

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One More Day

The greatest of faults, I should say, is to be conscious of none.
– Thomas Carlyle

We really know that we are not perfect. We are, like everyone else, beings capable of millions of behaviors. We can develop a humble self-awareness that takes all of our pluses and minuses into account. When we examine ourselves gently, but honestly, we find ourselves in a position where we can correct our own faults and become more tolerant and accepting of the faults of others.

The unconditional love we give ourselves — and everyone we care for — isn’t blind to imperfection; instead, it openly accepts strengths and weaknesses.

Today, my love of myself and others will be shown in my tolerance of imperfections.

[bluidkiti]

December 16

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
Because you're not what I would have you be, I blind myself to who, in truth, you are. --Madeleine L'Engle
Sometimes we expect far too much of the people around us, and because no one can ever live up to those expectations, we are almost always disappointed. But wouldn't it be better if we just let go, and let people be who they are? Then we'd be able to see them as they are--with all their beauty and goodness in which we take joy, and with all their faults which we can also see in ourselves.
When we have put someone up on a pedestal, sculpturing them to fit our needs and desires by smoothing out the rough edges and creating new curves here and there, we cannot see the real person underneath our work. All we see is the illusion we have created. That is denying the person's real identity and is disrespectful. It's much better for our friends and for ourselves if we drop our expectations and illusions, and accept them all just the way they are.
What unfair expectations do I have of others?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart And try to love the questions themselves. --Rainer Maria Rilke
Patience with ourselves may be the first step toward patience with others. In getting to know ourselves, we don't find what we have expected. If we did, we would only be proving what we already knew. Sometimes growth comes in surprising ways. It may be in acceptance and learning to love what is unsettled or unclear within. Some of us men want to rush through our learning and push our growth too fast. Others of us want to have a strong sense of confidence in our relationships with others but always feel vulnerable. Some wonder why their fears suddenly rise without warning. Another longs to know why certain things happened to him in his youth. Our growth is not our invention. When answers come, they are gifts, and we do not control them.
In part, self-acceptance is to say, "Yes, I am a person with this question, this unsettled feeling. Being alive is to be actively engaged in knowing and loving my questions even when I find no answer."
God, grant me the peace that comes with loving the unfinished part of me.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
To have someone who brings out the colors of life and whose very presence offers tranquility and contentment enriches my being and makes me grateful for the opportunity to share. --Kathleen Tierney Crilly
Loneliness and isolation are familiar states to most of us. We often protected our insecurities by hiding out, believing that we'd survive if others didn't know who we really were. But we discovered that our insecurities multiplied. The remedy is people--talking to people, exposing our insecurities to them, risking, risking, risking.
Sharing our mutual vulnerabilities helps us see how fully alike we are. Our most hated shortcoming is not unique, and that brings relief. It's so easy to feel utterly shamed in isolation. Hearing another woman say "I understand. I struggle with jealousy too," lifts the shame, the dread, the burden of silence. The program has taught us that secrets make us sick, and the longer we protect them, the greater are our struggles.
The program promises fulfillment, serenity, achievement when we willingly share our lives. Each day we can lighten our burdens and help another lighten hers, too.
I will be alert today to the needs of others. I will risk sharing. I will be a purveyor of tranquility.


You are reading from the book The Language Of Letting Go.
Taking Care of Ourselves Emotionally
What does it mean to take care of myself emotionally? I recognize when I'm feeling angry, and I accept that feeling without shame or blame.
I recognize when I'm feeling hurt, and I accept those feelings without attempting to punish the source of my pain. I recognize and feel fear when that emotion presents itself.
I allow myself to feel happiness, joy, and love when those emotions are available. Taking care of myself means I've made a decision that it's okay to feel.
Taking care of my emotions means I allow myself to stay with the feeling until it's time to release it and go on to the next one.
I recognize that sometimes my feelings can help point me toward reality, but sometimes my feelings are deceptive. They are important, but I do not have to let them control me. I can feel, and think too.
I talk to people about my feelings when that's appropriate and safe.
I reach out for help or guidance if I get stuck in a particular emotion.
I'm open to the lessons my emotions may be trying to teach me. After I feel, accept, and release the feeling, I ask myself what it is I want or need to do to take care of myself.
Taking care of myself emotionally means I value, treasure, explore, and cherish the emotional part of myself.
Today, I will take care of myself emotionally. I will be open to, and accepting of, the emotional part of myself and other people. I will strive for balance by combining emotions with reason, but I will not allow intellect to push the emotional part of myself away.


Whatever I am thinking right now is creating how I am feeling. I turn to positive and loving thoughts because I choose to feel good. --Ruth Fishel

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Journey To The Heart

Be an Angel

I often imagine that we keep the angels very busy. They tell us to turn here or there, warn us of dangers, say Listen! and Look! They tell us things will be okay, and they’re sorry we hurt. Angels in our lives encourage us to hope, dream, dare, and trust. They point out beautiful sights. They shine a light on our path, so we know where to step next.

Most of us are not as sure of ourselves as we’d like others to think. We need guidance, faith, and hope. We need to know we’re on track and that someone cares. We need the angels to help us.

The angels in our lives give us a kind word, share a kind thought, offer a helping hand and a warm smile. Their words empower and comfort us. Their touch heals, their loving looks warm our hearts. They radiate love and faith.

“I’ve learned it’s easy to be loving,” one man said. “What takes work is to be kind.”

Make it easier for the angels, and easier for others. Practice being loving and kind. Be an angel,too.

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More Language Of Letting Go

Now is a powerful time

“The entire skydive is great,” a friend said to me. “But one of my favorite moments is when we open the door, and I can see the whole sky spread out in front of me.”

I remember that feeling the day I was given the choice to recover from chemical dependency or go to jail, the day I got my frist writing job, the day my daughter gave birth to her first child. It’s that split second when now freezes and stretches out into infinity. For just a moment all that has been and all that might be crown into a single arc in time and the power of the universe rushes through us.

Get a little of that feeling every day just to remind yourself of the power and potential of now.

Sure, we can envision our rosy future after the big project pays off, or when we’ve got fifteen years of sobriety, or after we reach retirement. But what about that moment when the minister pronounces you husband and wife, or the moment after you tell your parents you’re gay, or the day you walk out on someone, or the day someone walks out on you?

The power isn’t out there somewhere in the distant horizon. Feel the rush of the moment. It really is your life. You have all the power you need, right now.

God, help me tap into the rush of power available to me right here and right now.

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Discovering True Selves
Soul Seeing

When we want to see deeply into the heart and mind of another person, soul seeing, also called soul gazing, allows us to see their soul. The soul is the purest expression of an individual and is not bound by physical forms or fleeting emotions. Through a simple art that involves looking deeply into a partner’s eyes, soul seeing can show you a person’s inner beauty that you might otherwise miss. It is possible for someone who appears cold to have a warm, giving, nurturing soul or someone of average appearance to have a beautiful soul. Soul seeing is a way of looking past shapes, sizes, attitudes, and behavior to see the real individual that lies beneath the surface. It allows you to see the true essence of another person, the radiance of their being, and their spirit within.

Soul seeing is accomplished by sitting face to face with another person. It is helpful to first state your intention before you begin. As you stare softly into each other’s eyes without stopping to look away, each of your souls is revealed to the other. Try not to look for anything in particular or seek traits you’re hoping to find. Simply let the other person’s soul reveal itself to you. After twenty minutes have passed, stay where you are and share a period of silent reflection with your partner for two minutes. You may have suddenly seen your partner’s inner nature as clearly as a bright day, or you may need to meditate on your experience before you feel comfortable with your impressions. Either way, soul seeing can be a wonderfully intimate and shared experience.

So little of who each of us is can be captured by our appearance or personality. The thoughts, fears, desires, and longings that are part of what makes us whole are not always written across our faces. Often, the most surprising thing you may learn while soul seeing is that while you and the other person may appear on the surface to be quite different, you actually share many of the same inner qualities. And then there is the unique beauty that resides within that is longing to be revealed to another who is willing to see. Soul seeing can help you experience the people in your life as they truly are, beyond any mental barriers or physical limitations. Published with permission from Daily OM

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A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

Sometimes, on those bad days we all have from time to time, it almost seems that God doesn’t want us to be happy here on earth and, for those of us who believe in an afterlife, that He demands pain and suffering in this life as the price of happiness in the next. The Program teaches me that just the opposite is the case. God wants me to be happy right here on earth — right now. When I allow Him to, He will even point out the way. Do I sometimes stubbornly refuse to look where God is pointing?

Today I Pray

I pray that I am not playing the perennial sufferer, dragging around in the boots of tragedy and acting as if suffering is the only ticket to heaven. May I look around, at the goodness and greenery of earth, which is testimony enough that our life here is meant to be more than just one pitfall after another. Man no misconception of God as a master trapper, waiting in every thicket to snare us, distort my relationship with a loving, forgiving Higher Power.

Today I Will Remember

There is more to life than suffering.

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One More Day

It is well that there is no one without a fault, for he would not have a friend in the world.
– William Hazlitt

As youngsters we may have had doubts, just as we do now, about making new friends. We imposed unwritten rules upon ourselves as we sought out new friends. Will they like me? How do I approach them? Will we have enough to talk about?

These questions are again in our minds as we approach old and new relationships. We might worry that since we aren’t always feeling happy and well, our friends is not usually true, but it may take us a little while to pull away from fear and self-doubt and to make real efforts at making and maintaining our friendships.

Today, I will let my friends know just how important they are to me.

[bluidkiti]

December 17

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
Volunteers are the only human beings on the face of the earth who reflect this nation's compassion, unselfish caring, patience, and just plain loving one another. --Erma Bombeck
The most precious time we will ever have we give away by doing volunteer chores to help others get more out of life. There is no material wage for this kind of work, but a host of emotional rewards. The height of volunteer giving is doing an act of kindness or love so quietly that none but ourselves will ever know we had a part in it.
What great humility this can bring to us, who live in a world where selfish people often insist on credit for all their deeds--often things they had nothing to do with.
All we need do is think of all we have received without deserving it or asking for it. By taking part in the giving end of life, we find the true wealth of our own generosity.
What secret gift can I give today?



You are reading from the book Touchstones.
The purpose of man's life is not happiness but worthiness. --Felix Adler
When we pursue happiness as a goal for its own sake, we usually reach the opposite point of emptiness. Feeling happy is a by-product of other life experiences. Happiness comes and goes. We welcome it but cannot capture and hold it, nor can we create a recipe for achieving happiness.
We will lead far more successful lives pursuing other values which we do have control over, such as honesty, respect for others and ourselves, seeking loving relationships, and making a contribution to the well being of others. We can accept unhappiness and difficulties without struggle when we know we are doing something that has greater meaning. Our Eleventh Step tells us we pray only for knowledge of God's will for us and the power to carry that out. This helps us focus on God's purpose for us. We can have an inner sense of joy knowing we are leading meaningful lives, even when we aren't having a particularly happy day.
I will seek the goals that make my life worthwhile and welcome happiness when
it comes.



You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
Give to the world the best you have, and the best will come back to you.
--Madeline Bridge
We do reap, in some measure, at some time, what we sow. Our respect for others will result in kind. Our love expressed will return tenfold. The kindness we greet others with will ease their relations with us. We get from others what we give, if not at this time and place, at another. We can be certain that our best efforts toward others do not go unnoticed. And we can measure our due by what we give.
A major element of our recovery is the focus we place on our behavior, the seriousness with which we tackle our inventories. We can look at ourselves and how we reach out and act toward others; it is a far cry from where we were before entering this program. Most of us obsessed on "What he did to me," or "What she said." And then returned their actions in kind.
How thrilling is the knowledge that we can invite loving behavior by giving it! We have a great deal of control over the ebb and flow of our lives. In every instance we can control, our behavior. Thus never should we be surprised about the conditions of our lives.
What goes around comes around. I will look for the opportunities to be kind and feel the results.



You are reading from the book The Language Of Letting Go.
Nurturing Ourselves
Many of us have been so deprived of nurturing that we think it's silly or self-indulgent. Nurturing is neither silly nor self-indulgent; it's how we show love for ourselves. That's what we're striving for in recovery - a loving relationship with ourselves that works, so we can have loving relationships with others that work.
When we hurt, we ask ourselves what we need to help us feel better. When we feel alone, we reach out to someone safe. Without feeling that we are a burden, we allow that person to be there for us.
We rest when we're tired; eat when we're hungry; have fun or relax when our spirits need a lift. Nurturing means giving ourselves gifts - a trip to the beauty salon or barbershop, a massage, a book, a new jacket, or a new suit or dress. It means a long, hot bath to forget about our problems and the world for a few moments when that would feel good.
We learn to be gentle with ourselves and to open up to the nurturing that others have to offer us.
As part of nurturing ourselves, we allow ourselves to give and receive positive touch - touch that feels appropriate to us, touch that is safe. We reject touch that doesn't feel good or safe and is not positive.
We learn to give ourselves what we need in a gentle, loving, compassionate way. We do this with the understanding it will not make us lazy, spoiled, self centered, or narcissistic. Nurtured people are effective in their work and in their relationships.
We will learn to feel loved by ourselves so much that we can truly love others and let them love us.
Today, I will nurture myself. I will also be open to the nurturing that I can give to others and receive from them.


When I have done all the footwork I know to do and things are still not working out, I know today that it is time to meditate. I have faith that my answer is still to come. --Ruth Fishel

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Journey To The Heart

Don’t Complicate Things

The simple, clear answer to life’s situations can be easily found in the heart. Don’t limit its wisdom to just one or two areas; let it guide you through all of your life.

Are you struggling with finances? Feeling overwhelmed by taxes? Not certain what to do to help someone you love? Do you have a problem with a friend? Has a business relationship gotten sticky, maybe hopelessly adversarial? Are you at war with the person you love? Problems with children? Problems with parents? A landlord who just won’t get the job done? All of these areas, and more, can be brought to your heart.

Do you need to find a new hobby? Are you stuck on a project? Do you need an idea, some creative inspiration? Do you need a new place to live, or a way to fix your current home? Take it all back to your heart.

Calm your mind. Let go. Get quiet. You don’t have to know the plan. Just put out the question, then listen to your inner voice. It will guide you through any maze you’ve been lost in.

Don’t complicate things or try to figure it all out. The answer is simple: look in your heart.

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More Language Of Letting Go

Take another look at your world

Oh, the glory of the ordinary!

I wake up, roll over, and look out the sliding glass door at the sun rising over the distant layers of hills.

Today will be a day of errands. We’re out of milk, so we’ll make a run to the grocery store, probably returning home with too much chocolate and no milk. The pictures from the last trip needed to be dropped off. We have a flying lesson at 2:00. Then it will be supper at the Lodge with our friend Andy. It’ll probably be something simple, like burgers on the grill.

An ordinary day.

I remember a time when the ordinary meant searching for another high, searching for money to get drugs. I’m grateful for the ordinary life that I lead.

“When we have a toothache, we know that not having a toothache is happiness. But later, when we don’t have a toothache, we don’t treasure our non-toothache,,” Thich Nhat Hanh gently reminds us in his book The Heart of the Buddha’s Teaching.

Take another look at your ordinary world.

See how glorious it is.

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Sharing Your Gifts
Gift Giveaway

by Madisyn Taylor

We all know how to give the gift of a present, but it is more important to share your gifts that you were born with.


When the holidays come around, most of us join the masses in shopping for gifts, wrapping them, and giving them away. Once we are in the mind-set that this is what we are going to do, we don’t hold back or struggle with the process. We simply give the presents we have acquired, letting them go in the awareness that they were never ours anyway. If we could apply some of this unquestioning generosity with our own inner resources and gifts, we might be able to give of ourselves more freely.

In truth, our gifts only make sense when we give them away. Imagine carefully procured and wrapped presents that remain in the house of the giver, never getting to the people who were meant to have them. If we hold back, not knowing quite when to share our gifts, we all lose. Ironically, the more we give of ourselves, the more we have to offer. For example, if we have a talent for singing but we hold it back, we sing less and have less experience. On the other hand, if we offer the gift of our voice to the world at every opportunity, our talent develops and becomes still greater, and we have that much more to give.

How we present our gifts can be likened to wrapping paper and ribbons. When we truly value what we have to offer, our presentation honors what lies inside it. We speak well of our talents and introduce them with confidence and panache. Like a performer who chooses carefully what to wear and how to set the stage, we provide an environment that complements and enhances what we have to offer. Far from being superficial, a beautiful presentation is as much a part of the energy of gift giving as the gift itself. All these things together—the gift, the presentation, and the giving away—make up the joyful experience of bestowing our offerings upon the world. Published with permission from Daily OM

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A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

More and more these days, as I progress in my recovery, I seem to do a lot of listening — quietly waiting to hear God’s unmistakable voice within me. Prayer is becoming a two-way street — of seeking and listening, of searching and finding. A favorite bit of Scripture for me is, “Be still and know that I am God.” Do I pay quiet and loving attention to Him, ever more confident of an enlightened knowledge of His will for me?

Today I Pray

As I seek to know my Higher Power, may I learn the best ways — for me — to reach and hear Him. May I begin to feel prayer, not just listening to the sound of my own verbalizing. May I feel the sharp outlines of my humanness fading as His Godliness becomes a part of me. May I feel that I am one with Him.

Today I will Remember

Feel the stillness of God.

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One More Day

Sadness flies on the wings of the morning and out of the heart of darkness comes the light.
– Jean Giraudoux

Many people — not just the chronically ill — experience a sense of sadness or longing at this time of year. Perhaps the season stirs memories of carefree, happier times or, instead, of holidays long ago that were unhappy and without fantasy.

Knowing that this sadness is not uncommon can be comforting and so is knowing we can resist sadness. If we’re unhappy with old traditions, we can introduce new ones. If we’ve isolated ourselves, we can join in some group activities. And if we’re tired, we can give ourselves permission to say no and to have time alone. We might also examine our expectations and remember that special days are not copies of earlier ones. Each is new.

In the holidays ahead, I will continue to do the things that have been special. I will abandon any pattern that gives me no joy.

[bluidkiti]

December 18

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
Endurance is nobler than strength, and patience than beauty. --John Ruskin
It's hard to keep from trying to control the lives of others, especially in a family. We can learn from the man whose friend drove twenty miles to and from work on the freeway every day. "How can you do it?" he asked. "I've tried, and I can't go a mile in such traffic without screaming at the crazy drivers who cut in, go too slow, change lanes. Nobody listens. I'd lose my mind if I had to do it your way." His friend replied, "Your trouble is trying to drive every car around you. I relax and drive only one car--my own."
We have only our own lives to live, and this is usually enough to keep us busy. If we pay too much attention to how others live, we will neglect ourselves.
What acts of others can I ignore today?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
Ultimately, both parents and children are seen as individuals. For all their claims on one another, each is entitled to a life separate and distinct from the other. --Francine Klagsbrun
The process of untangling the relationships between ourselves and our parents - as well as with our children - is a long term process. Each of us came into the world helpless. As sons, we had no choice about relying on our parents. We reached manhood with a mixture of gratitude, guilt, and resentment. The same is true of our children. Those of us who are fathers began with an obligation to our children. We may now feel a mixture of commitment, fulfillment, and guilt.
No parent can teach a child everything he or she will need. We all do what we can to continue to learn and grow. We have lifelong commitments to each other--within reason. We are all trying to make our way as best we can. We each need to advance our own well-being and not destroy our lives for the sake of a parent or a child.
Today, I will be responsible for myself. Then I can be more responsible to others.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
Destruction. Crashing realities exploding in imperfect landings. Ouch. It's my heart that's breaking, for these have been my fantasies and my world.
--Mary Casey
We frequently aren't given what we want--whether it's a particular job, a certain relationship, a special talent. But we are always given exactly what we need at the moment. None of us can see what tomorrow is designed to bring, and our fantasies are always tied to a future moment. Our fantasies seldom correlate with the real conditions that are necessary to our continued spiritual growth.
Fantasies are purposeful. They give us goals to strive for, directions to move in. They are never as far-sighted as the goals our higher power has in store for us, though. We have far greater gifts than we are aware of, and we are being pushed to develop them at the very times when it seems our world is crashing down.
We can cherish our fantasies--but let them go. Our real purpose in life far exceeds our fondest dreams. The Steps have given us the tools to make God's plan for us a reality.
How limited is my vision, my dreams. If one of mine is dashed today, I will rest assured that an even better one will present itself, if I but let it.


You are reading from the book The Language Of Letting Go.
Staying Open to Our Feelings
Many of us have gotten so good at following the "don't feel" rule that we can try to talk ourselves out of having feelings, even in recovery.
"If I was really working a good program, I wouldn't feel angry."
"I don't get angry. I'm a Christian. I forgive and forget."
"I'm not angry. I'm affirming that I'm happy."
These are all statements, some of them quite clever, that indicate we're operating under the "don't feel" rule again.
Part of working a good program means acknowledging and dealing with our feelings. We strive to accept and deal with our anger so it doesn't harden into resentments. We don't use recovery as an excuse to shut down our emotions.
Yes, we are striving for forgiveness, but we still want to feel, listen to, and stay with our feelings until it is time to release them appropriately. Our Higher Power created the emotional part of ourselves. God is not telling us to not feel; it's our dysfunctional systems.
We also need to be careful how we use affirmations; discounting our emotions won't make feelings go away. If we're angry, it's okay to have that feeling. That's part of how we get and stay healthy.
Today, I will refuse to accept shame from others or myself for feeling my feelings.


Today I welcome all my feelings. Today I deserve to feel joy and love and gratitude and warmth and affection, just to name a few. --Ruth Fishel

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Journey To The Heart

Celebrate Holidays but Honor Your Holy Days

Holidays help us remember important national and religious events. Holidays are marked by the calendar.

Holy days are something else. Holy days are the days we remember not because they are marked on any calendar, but because they are important spiritual events to us. These are the days our souls remember. A birthday. The day a loved one left this earth. The anniversary of a significant change in our lives– the day we started something, the day we stopped doing something, the day we accomplished something important to us, a new beginning.

Celebrate the holidays marked by the calendar in whatever way you choose. Some of these may be holy days for you as well. But remember to honor your own holy days, the ones that are special to you.

Celebrate holidays, but honor your holy days,too. Choose your own rituals. Honor what is sacred to you.

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More Language Of Letting Go

Savor each moment

Enjoy each moment as it comes.

It’s so easy to relish that final moment, when the project is finished and the work is turned in. It’s easy to trick ourselves into thinking that peak moments in life are the only ones that count.

In Benjamin Hoff’s The Tao of Pooh, Pooh talks about the anticipation of eating his honey. The moment when the honey touches your lips is good, Pooh says. But there’s the moment right before, that moment of anticipation, that might be just as good if not better.

Go for your dreams. Go for those peak moments of performance and pleasure,too. The day you get your ten-year medallion for sobriety is a good day. Achieving that success in your career– that special award– is a wonderful moment, indeed. And those peak moments in love are indescribably delicious to experience and reminisce about.

While many people talk about being in that peak zone of pleasure all the time, most of us know that peak moments are only a very small fraction of our lives. If we only enjoy those peak moments, or those moments just before, we’ll forget to notice the importance of a lot of our lives.

Go for peak moments. But open up your heart and let the sheer raw beauty of all the moments in. When you stop looking and waiting for those peak experiences, you might find out how sweet and delicious each single moment really is.

Savor each moment of your life.

God, help me let go of anything that’s sabotaging my joy. Help me release the belief that I can only find happiness, pleasure, and joy when I’m on top of a peak.

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Stronger for It
Mending a Broken Heart

by Madisyn Taylor

A heart that has been broken and seen pain, reveals within it, a crack that allows more light in.


Heartbreak happens to all of us and can wash over us like a heavy rain. When experiencing a broken heart, our ethereal selves are saturated with grief, and the overflow is channeled into the physical body. Loss becomes a physical emptiness, and longing is transmuted into a feeling that often cannot be put into words. Mending a broken heart can seem a task so monumental that we dare not attempt it for fear of damaging ourselves further. But heartbreak, like all emotions, falls under the spell of our conscious influence.

Often the pain that wounds us most deeply also leaves the most enduring mark upon us. The shock that becomes the tender, throbbing ache of the heart eventually leads us down the path of enlightenment, blessing our lives with a new depth and richness.

Acknowledging heartbreak's impermanence by no means dulls its sting for it is the sting itself that stimulates healing. The pain is letting us know that we need to pay attention to our emotional selves, to sit with our feelings and be in them fully before we can begin to heal. It is said that time heals all wounds. Time may dull the pain of a broken heart, but it is fully feeling your pain and acknowledging it that will truly help you heal. Dealing with your heartache in a healthy way rather than putting it off for tomorrow is the key to repair. Gentleness more than anything else is called for. Most important, open yourself to the possibility of loving, trusting, and believing again. When, someday soon, you emerge from the cushion of your grief, you will see that the universe did not cease to be as you nursed your broken heart. You emerge on the other side of the mending, stronger for all you have experienced. Published with permission from Daily OM

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A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

I’m learning — all too slowly, at times — that when I give up the losing battle of trying to run my life in my own way, I gain abiding peace and deep serenity. For many of us, that learning process is a painfully slow one. Eventually, however, we understand that there are only two wills in the world, my will and God’s. Whatever is within my direct control is my will; whatever is beyond my direct control is His Will. So I try to accept that which is beyond my control as God’s will for me. Am I beginning to realize that by surrendering my will to the Divine Will, I am for the first time living without turmoil and without anxiety?

Today I Pray

May I hope that my will can be congruent with the all-encompassing will of God. I pray that I will know immediately if my will is in a useless tug-of-war with His Divine Will. May I trust God now to guide my will according to his Master Plan — and to make His purpose mine.

Today I Will Remember

Achievement comes when my will is in harmony with God’s.

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One More Day

The only limit to our realization of tomorrow will be our doubts of today. Let us move forward with strong and active faith.
– Franklin Delano Roosevelt

Major changes in our lives may stun us — with delight or perhaps disbelief. After all, not all changes are negative. But when the change is negative, when illness is diagnosed or when pain pervades each day, we may begin to doubt our own inner resources. Once physically strong, we will have to dig deeper than ever to tap into our spiritual resources as well.

If we have doubts today, it may be because we are still locked into our physical selves. We are more than body, and it is our spirits that can be nourished by our caring Higher Power, Our value and importance are revealed by that care. knowing this, we can move forward with our lives.

I will look beyond my physical body for a source of strength and care.

[bluidkiti]

December 19

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
Open your mind and your heart to be still. --Shawn Phillips
In this time of international conflict and mistrust it is easy to despair. At times we may even feel hopeless as we hear about wars and weapons. But there is hope! Change can grow from within each of us.
The world is like a tree--if the tree is diseased and the leaves brown and brittle, the gardener does not treat the branches, but tends to the roots. Our world is made up of nations, in which there are states containing communities of neighborhoods where individual people live. We are the roots of our world tree. As attitudes change; as we accept and love ourselves honestly and learn, in turn, to accept and love others regardless of our differences, slowly, the branches that extend from us and cover the world will grow strong. The peace we can make within ourselves can be reflected everywhere.
Will I find the peace within myself today?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
If I were given a change of life, I'd like to see how it would be to live as a mere six-footer. --Wilt Chamberlain
It's human nature for us to wonder what life would be like in another man's shoes. No matter how good or bad we've had it, we like to consider those possibilities sometimes. While we were still in the trap of living with an addict or being one, some of us used a fantasy world as an escape from our circumstances. Perhaps it was the only option we knew.
Now we are in a program, which liberates us and gives us hope. It's not an easy program, but it is simple. We're learning that when we have a relationship with our Higher Power and become accountable, we gain more options and can have hope. We can do interesting and rewarding things in our lives now that were closed to us before. Sobriety makes it possible for us to go forward into reality and leave fantasy for play.
Today, I am grateful for life in the real world that recovery has given me


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
My singing is very therapeutic. For three hours I have no troubles--I know how it's all going to come out. --Beverly Sills
Have we each found an activity that takes us outside of ourselves? An activity that gives us a place to focus our attention? Being self-centered and focused on ourselves accompanies the illness we're struggling to recover from. The decision to quit preoccupying on ourselves, our own struggles with life, is not easy to maintain. But when we have an activity that excites us, on which we periodically concentrate our attention, we are strengthened. And the more we get outside of ourselves, the more aware we become that "all is well."
It seems our struggles are intensified as women. So often we face difficult situations at work and with children, alone. The preoccupation with our problems exaggerates them. And the vicious cycle entraps us. However, we don't have to stay trapped. We can pursue a hobby. We can take a class, join a health club. We can dare to follow whatever our desire--to try something new. We need to experience freedom from the inner turmoil in order to know that we deserve even more freedom.
Emotional health is just around the corner. I will turn my attention to the world outside myself.


You are reading from the book The Language Of Letting Go.
Work Roles
How easy it is to dive into roles at work. How easy it is to place other people in roles. Sometimes, this is necessary, appropriate, and expedient.
But we can also let our self-shine through our role.
There is joy in giving our gift of skill at work, at giving ourselves to the task at hand so thoroughly that we experience an intimate relationship with our work. There is joy when we create or accomplish a task and can say, "Well done!"
There is also joy when we are our self at work, and when we discover and appreciate those around us.
The most unpleasant, mundane task can be breezed through when we stop thinking of ourselves as a robot and allow ourselves to be a person.
Those around us will respond warmly when we treat them as individuals and not job defined roles.
This does not mean we need to become inappropriately entangled with others. It means that, whether we are an employer or an employee, when people are allowed to be people who perform tasks instead of task performers, we are happier and more content people.
Today, I will let myself shine through my task at work. I will try to see others and let them shine through too - instead of looking only at their tasks. God, help me be open to the beauty of others and myself at work. Help me maintain healthy relationships with people at work.


In quiet meditation I find emotional balance. I feel myself growing closer and closer to my Higher Power and I find love.
--Ruth Fishel

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Journey To The Heart

Look for the Deeper Picture

The two men were sitting in a restaurant booth, staring intently at the Magic Eye pictures on the wall. “I’ve tried for years to see the picture hidden inside, but I can’t,” said one. “Everyone says it’s there though, so I’ll just have to trust that it is.”

Magic Eye pictures have been popular for some time. At first, the picture looks like a print; it’s often a repetitive pattern of the sort you see on wallpaper or a tablecloth. It’s pretty to look at, but it’s not really a picture. But another picture, a 3-D picture is hidden within the print or pattern– one you can see only if you relax your vision and look in a special way. Then the real picture, the deeper picture, appears.

I have always thought these pictures contain a lesson. They remind us to look past the daily superficial events of our lives and trust that there is meaning, that there is a deeper picture, one that can be seen only with the eyes of your soul.

As we go through our days, weeks, and months, what we’re experiencing doesn’t always make a lot of sense. Sometimes it causes downright distress. We’re uncomfortable. We feel out of place. We wonder if what we see is all there. Those are the times to stop staring so hard, relax our vision, and let the deeper picture, the real picture, come to us.

Life goes on, with all its troubles, stresses, changes, and disappointments. But it isn’t a disconnected series of random events. It’s our punishment. And it’s not without meaning. Something important is being worked out in your life and in your soul.

Learn to relax. Look for the reflection of something else in the picture of your life. Learn to look more deeply. Learn to look and see with the eyes of the soul.

And sometimes, like the man in the restaurant, if we can’t see the picture or the real meaning, we just have to relax and trust that it’s here.

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More Language Of Letting Go

Have the time of your life

Make every moment count.

The first time I heard the words, I was sitting in the movie theater with Shane. He was eleven at the time. There were only a few other people in the theater, we had snuck out to see a show together. It was one of our favorite mother-son things to do, especially on Sunday nights.

Until about a year before, I had been very goal oriented. I was always looking toward the future, moving toward the next level in my life. First there was getting through the poverty, then struggling to get beyond being an impoverished single parent. Then I began working toward the next level of success in my career. I was always trying to make my world and my children’s lives better.

As I sat in the theater staring at the screen, I had a flash of my own mortality– at least I thought it was mine. I won’t be here forever, I thought. Someday, this time in my life will have passed. It’ll just be a memory.

Shane put his feet up on the back of the seat in front of us. I started to nag him him about this, then I changed my mind. There was nobody sitting there. It wasn’t that big of a deal. I didn’t need to fuss about something that unimportant.

Make every moment count, were the words I heard in my heart.

It’s so easy to get hooked into the busyness of life. It’s easy to focus on the destination and tell ourselves we’ll be happy when we get there and forget to be happy and cherish the beauty of each moment of the trip. So often, we don’t even know that we’re living the best, most beautiful part of our lives right now.

I worried a lot as a struggling single parent, trying to write articles for the Gazette for $25 an article. How will I make ends meet? Am I writing well enough? Geez, I don’t have time to date. Am I being a good enough mother? God, there’s a lot to do raising these kids. In retrospect, it was one of the best times in my life.

No matter what emotions you’re feeling, no matter the nature of your problems, this moment is the best time in your life.

Stop waiting to win the lottery. Or maybe, don’t stop waiting. Buy your ticket. Then put it away and forget about it. Be happy now. Don’t wait until later when you look back at this time in your life.

Say how sweet it is right now. Make every moment count.

God, teach me to be happy now.

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Empathy in Action
An Experiment in Gratitude

by Madisyn Taylor

If you find it hard to be grateful for what you have, it is time to dig deeper and be brave when looking for the gratitude.


Sometimes we forget to take the time to recognize the richness that defines our lives. This may be because many of the messages we encounter as we go about our affairs prompt us to think about what we don’t have rather than all the abundance we do enjoy. Consequently, our gratitude exists in perpetual conflict with our desire for more, whether we crave time, convenience, wealth, or enlightenment. Yet understanding and truly appreciating our blessings can be as simple as walking a mile in another’s shoes for a short period of time. Because many of us lead comparatively insular lives, we may not comprehend the full scope of our prosperity that is relative to our sisters and brothers in humanity.

If you find taking an inventory of your life’s blessings difficult, consider the ease with which you nourish your body and mind, feed your family, move from place to place, and attend to tasks at hand. For a great number of people, activities you may take for granted, such as attaining an education, buying healthy food, commuting to work, or keeping a clean house, represent great challenges. To experience firsthand the complex tests others face as a matter of course in their daily lives, try living without the amenities you most often take for granted. This can be a great experiment to undertake with your entire family or a classroom. Understanding working poverty can be as easy as endeavoring to buy nutritious foods with a budget of $100 for the week. If you own a car, relying on public transportation for even just a day can help you see the true value of the comfort and conveniences others do without. As you explore a life without things you may normally take for granted,! ask yourself for how long you could endure.

The compassionate gratitude that floods your heart when you come to fully realize your abundance may awaken pangs of guilt in your heart. Be aware, however, that the purpose of such an experiment is to open your heart further in gratitude and compassion. This awareness can help you attain a deeper level of gratitude that will allow you to savor and, above all, appreciate your life with renewed grace. Published with permission from Daily OM

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A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

The Program teaches me to work for progress, not perfection. That simple admonition gives me great comfort, for it represents a primary way in which my life today is so different than it used to be. In my former life, perfection — for all its impossibility — was so often my number one goal. Today I can believe that if I sometimes fail, I’m not a failure — and if I sometimes make a mistake, I’m not a mistake. And I can apply those same beliefs to The Program’s Twelve Steps as well as to my entire life. Do I believe that only Step One can be practiced with perfection, and that the remaining Steps represent perfect ideals?

Today I Pray

God, teach me to abandon my erstwhile goal of superhuman perfection in everything I did or said. I know that I was actually bent on failure, because I could never attain those impossible heights I had established for myself. Now that I understand this pattern, may I no longer program my own failures.

Today I Will Remember

I may strive to be a super person, but not a super person.

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One More Day

Life is not merely living but living in health. – Martial

Living in health may seem impossible for the chronically ill. After all, we reason, it’s difficult to live in health if we are sick.

In fact, living in health is an old fashioned tier, almost like a benediction. These days we want to experience the wellness that goes beyond physical health by emphasizing emotional and spiritual health. For the first time we can allow ourselves the right to wellness despite physical illness.

Even with an on-going illness, most of us don’t have constant pain or discomfort. there are many times we enjoy ourselves. Playing cards, gardening, going for a walk, praying, meditation — these activities exercise all of our being — physically, emotionally, and spiritually.

I will consider my wellness, not illness, my life goal.

[bluidkiti]

December 20

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
Give to the world all that you have, And the best will come back to you. --Mary Ainge De Vere
When we share something of our own with a friend, it gives both of us a special feeling. Generosity blesses the giver as much as the receiver. Sometimes we feel selfish, wanting to hoard all our treats or treasures. But when we secretly hide them away, we cheat even ourselves from enjoying them.
Giving love and friendship to others works in just the same way. When we express love and kindness to others, we feel more love toward ourselves. Though we may not understand just how it works, we can be certain it does. The more of anything we give away to others, the greater our own rewards will be.
How can I practice generosity today?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
Faith is the bird that sings when the dawn is still dark. ---Rabindranath Tagore
There may be many things in our lives that seem unsure or doubtful. Whatever our hope or personal need today, we are not given the knowledge that tells us how things will turn out. In the predawn darkness we don't know how the day will unfold. Sometimes faith is simply a matter of continuing with our program in the midst of our doubt. Then we can be certain that whatever direction events take, whatever pain or trial we must deal with, we will still have ourselves because we have been faithful today.
Ultimately, it is when we have ourselves and our integrity that we are on the recovery path. It is our faith that keeps us there regardless of the setbacks and personal moments of darkness we each must meet.
I will be faithful to my program, even in the darkest moment of doubt or fear, and it will carry me through.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
Somewhere along the line of development we discover what we really are, and then we make our real decision for which we are responsible. Make that decision primarily for yourself because you can never really live anyone else's life, not even your own child's. The influence you exert is through your own life and what you become yourself. --Eleanor Roosevelt
Taking full responsibility for who we are, choosing friends, making plans for personal achievement, consciously deciding day by day where we want to go with our lives, ushers in adventure such as we've never known. For many of us, months and years were wasted while we passively hid from life in alcohol, drugs, food, and other people. But we are breathing new life today.
Recovery offers us, daily, the opportunity to participate in the adventure of life. It offers us the opportunity to share our talents, our special gifts with those with whom we share moments of time.
We are becoming, every moment of time. As are our friends. Discovering who and what we really are, alone and with one another within our experiences is worthy of celebration.
I will congratulate others and myself today.


You are reading from the book The Language Of Letting Go.
Expectations of Others
It is our job to identify our needs, and then determine a balanced way of getting those needs met. We ultimately expect our Higher Power and the Universe - not one particular person - to be our source.
It is unreasonable to expect anyone to be able or willing to meet our every request. We are responsible for asking for what we want and need. It's the other person's responsibility to freely choose whether or not to respond to our request. If we try to coerce or force another to be there for us, that's controlling.
There's a difference between asking and demanding. We want love that is freely given.
It is unreasonable and unhealthy to expect one person to be the source for meeting all our needs. Ultimately, we will become angry and resentful, maybe even punishing, toward that person for not supporting us as we expected.
It is reasonable to have certain and well defined expectations of our spouse, children, and friends.
If a person cannot or will not be there for us, then we need to take responsibility for ourselves in that relationship. We may need to set a boundary, alter our expectations, or change the limits of the relationship to accommodate that person's unavailability. We do this for ourselves.
It is reasonable to sprinkle our wants and needs around and to be realistic about how much we ask or expect of any particular person. We can trust ourselves to know what's reasonable.
The issue of expectations goes back to knowing that we are responsible for identifying our needs, believing they deserve to get met, and discover an appropriate, satisfactory way to do that in our life.
Today, I will strive for reasonable expectations about getting my needs met in relationships.


Today I know that I am powerless over all the addictions, obsessions, compulsions and dependencies in my life. Today I am willing to let them go to a power greater than myself. --Ruth Fishel

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Journey to the Heart for December
Discover Common Bonds

"So many people have lost their families," the man said to me. "I have. But I'm beginning to discover that I'm part of a larger family,too. I'm beginning to see my connections to people all over the world."

We all have people we love deeply and dearly, those people we call our family. We have blood ties, genetic ties, long-term relationships with the people in our life. But as we open our hearts, we'll discover a larger family,too.

We have a kinship with those we've never met, even if they live in other cultures. We share many of the same emotional responses to the experiences in our lives, even though our journey may be taking place on different parts of the planet. If we study history we will see our connection to those who have lived before. The hardships they experienced, the lessons they had to face, were similar in many ways to those we face today. Lessons repeat themselves. The ones that are true seem to last. That's why they're called universal truths.

What are you going through in your life right now? Don't feel you're the only one. Open your eyes. Open your heart to your connections with your larger family. Let them share their stories with you. Let them share their strengths, hopes, fears, and joys. Stop looking for what's different and what makes you separate and apart. Go on an adventure of discovering your common bonds.

You're not alone. We're in this together. That's why it's called universal love.

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More Language Of Letting Go

It’s sweet right now

It was an odd friendship right from the start. I was in a local store, trying to buy some new rocks– a crystal, maybe some lapis– someting beautiful to change the energy in my house. “Kyle can help you out,” the salesclerk said. “He knows all about our stones.”

Kyle talked to me for a while about what stones I might like. Then I left the store. A few days later, I wandered back in, and we talked a little more.

By the time the first year passed, we had become pretty good friends. At that time, neither of us had a romantic relationship in our lives. We just hung out, went to restaurants, saw movies together, and talked on the phone.

One year passed, then two, then three, then five. We started a bookstore together, and together we closed it down.

Now Kyle’s seeing someone romantically. I am, too. We’re still best friends, but the wheel of life has turned again. We were talking on the phone just the other day.

“For all our complaining and grumbling and carrying on, we sure had some good times,” I said. “Yes,” he agreed. “This is one of the best times in my life.”

The ordinary moments that we each live through, in retrospect, look so rich and full. Why don’t we take all that wisdom and all that poignant reminiscing and realize that we’re having the best time in our life right now?

God, this is the day you have made. I will rejoice and be glad in it.

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Pushing Buttons
Untended Pain

by Madisyn Taylor

When somebody continues to open our old wounds on purpose, they must be told that their behavior is no longer welcome.


We’ve all had our buttons pushed to the point where we feel we can’t take it any more, and chances are, we’ve all pushed somebody else’s buttons, with or without knowing it. The button pusher may not be conscious of what they’re doing, but in the end the buttons belong to us, and we are the ones who must deal with what comes up. The more we take responsibility for our own feelings and reactions, the less tender these buttons will be.

We’ve all had the experience of having someone snap at us, seemingly out of nowhere. This happens when we unconsciously push a button in someone else we didn’t even know was there. This can happen with a complete stranger and sometimes with a person we’ve known and been close to for years. We ourselves may have a relationship with someone whose buttons we secretly like to push. Buttons are just soft spots that have been touched one too many times, and they symbolize some pain that needs to be acknowledged and healed. This may be a wound from childhood, or some recent trauma, that we haven’t adequately tended. Whatever the case, when our buttons get pushed, the person who most needs our attention and caring is us, and blaming the button pusher only distracts us from finding a true resolution to our suffering.

At the same time, if someone continually opens our wounds so that they never have time to heal, we are well within our rights to set a boundary with that person. Compulsive button pushers, who seem to find pleasure or satisfaction in hurting us, are not welcome in our personal space. In the end, knowing where our buttons are enables us to do the work necessary to heal. Freedom comes when we deal with the pain behind the button, thus disconnecting our automatic reaction to being pushed. Published with permission from Daily OM

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A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

When we compulsively strive for perfection, we invariably injure ourselves. For one thing, we end up creating big problems from little ones. For another, we become frustrated and filled with despair when we’re unable to meet the impossible goals we’ve set for ourselves. And finally, we decrease our capability to deal with life and reality as it is. Can I learn to yield a little, here and there? Can I apply myself with a quiet mind only to what is possible and attainable?

Today I Pray

May I see that striving for an impossible accomplishment provides me with an ever-ready excuse for not making it. It is also an indication of my loss of reality-sense which ought to involve knowing what I can do and then doing it. With the help of the group and my Higher Power, may I learn to set “reasonable goals.” These may seem ridiculously small to me, after years of “thinking big.” But, by breaking down my projects into several smaller ones, may I find that I actually can accomplish some high goals.

Today I Will Remember

Break down large goals into smaller ones.

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One More Day

Change does not change tradition. If strengthens it. Change is a challenge and an opportunity, not a threat. – Prince Philip

At holiday times and anniversaries and birthdays, we may lament, “I can’t entertain anymore. I just don’t have the room. I don’t have the strength either.” Is what we are telling ourselves really true? Are our friends and families so shallow that they come to our homes only for roast beef or turkey? Do we really have to give up the joy of having company?

Quickly we recognize the nonsense of such thoughts and cope with this situation in the same way we have with so many others — we change and we adapt. We can still welcome our loved ones into our homes. In the simpler meals and the casual atmosphere, our friends and family will find what they have come for — assurance that we still value their company.

I will serve my guest as always — with love and fellowship.

[bluidkiti]

December 21

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
I came to see the damage that was done and the treasures that prevail. --Adrienne Rich
It takes great courage to face ourselves--to look honestly and fearlessly at our behavior, especially if we have done and said things we are not proud of. We may have caused a lot of sadness in our own and others' lives. It's not easy to look at.
But let's remember, too, that what we do and say is not all of who we are. And let's also look at the treasures in ourselves--those things we have said and done that have brought great comfort, joy, and love into the lives of others.
Beneath the negative parts of ourselves, deep within us, is a kernel of good. Let's look for that as well, and water it so it can grow--so we can grow into the persons we are meant to be.
What is the best part of me, and how can I share it today?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
He not busy being born is busy dying. --Bob Dylan
An old story has been told of men in the program asking an alcoholic who had a slip, "What Step were you working on at the time?" The man who slipped was not working on any Step, and that is part of how he lost his sobriety. The message of the story is that when we are not busy being born spiritually, we are losing ground. It is essential to always be focusing our attention on one of the Steps. Each time we work a Step again, we are at a new place in life, and the Step will inspire something new in us just as it did the first time.
Although we may know the program well, keeping it as our center protects us from being reactive to the events and pressures in our lives. We are less likely to feel overwhelmed by situations or react with shame or anger. As long as we live, we are in need of being renewed.
Today, I will choose one of the Steps and think about its meaning for me.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
Every person is responsible for all the good within the scope of her abilities, and no more . . . --Gail Hamilton
We have been given the gift of life. Our recovery validates that fact. Our pleasure with that gift is best expressed by the fullness with which we greet and live life. We need not back off from the invitations our experiences offer. Each one of them gives us a chance, a bit different from all other chances, to fulfill part of our purpose in the lives of others.
It has been said that the most prayerful life is the one most actively lived. Full encounter with each moment is evidence of our trust in the now and thus our trust in our higher power. When we fear what may come or worry over what has gone before, we're not trusting in God. Growth in the program will help us remember that fact, thus releasing us to participate more actively in the special circumstances of our lives.
When we look around us today, we know that the persons in our midst need our best, and they're not there by accident but by Divine appointment. We can offer them the best we have--acceptance, love, support, our prayers, and we can know that is God's plan for our lives and theirs,
I will celebrate my opportunities for goodness today. They'll bless me in turn.


You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
Balance
Strive for balanced expectations of others. Strive for healthy tolerance.
In the past, we may have tolerated too much or too little. We may have expected too much or too little.
We may swing from tolerating abuse, mistreatment, and deception to refusing to tolerate normal, human, imperfect behaviors from people. Although it's preferable not to remain in either extreme too long, that is how people change - real people who struggle imperfectly toward better lives, improved relationships, and more effective relationship behaviors.
But if we are open to ourselves and to the recovery process, we will, at some time, begin another transition: it becomes time to move away from extremes, toward balance.
We can trust ourselves and the recovery process to bring us to a balanced place of tolerance, giving, understanding, and expectations - of others and ourselves.
We can each find our own path to balance as we begin and continue recovery.
Today, I will practice acceptance with others and myself for the way we change. If I have had to swing to the other extreme of a behavior, I will accept that as appropriate, for a time. But I will make my goal one of balanced tolerance and expectations of others and myself.


Today I seek spiritual understanding beyond everything else. I choose peace and love and joy as my goals. --Ruth Fishel

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Journey To The Heart

Reduce Your Stress

“Stress can be caused by many things,” a man, a healing professional, said. “It can be caused by toxins in the air, by food, work, money, or love. And sometimes tension and stress are caused by reacting to old beliefs– the messages in your mind.”

We can’t always eliminate the situations that produce stress. Some stress in life is inevitable; it is part of being alive. Stress is often the impetus that moves us forward into growth, into emotional release and healing, into awareness and change.

While we can’t and don’t want to eliminate all the stress in our lives, we can reduce its impact. We can eat foods we respond well to. We can monitor the quality of the air we breathe in many situations. We can leave a work or love situation that has become too stressful, or we can take better care of ourselves in those situations we choose to stay in.

And we can work on changing stress-producing beliefs within ourselves. I can’t measure up. I can’t get the job done. I won’t be liked. I can’t trust myself. Many of these beliefs are outdated reactions to other times in our lives, and now we know we have the power to change them.

What’s causing stress in your life? Do the things you can to reduce stress in your life. Reduce as much toxicity in your environment and in yourself as you can.

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More Language Of Letting Go

Lose those expectations

So you meet someone, become infatuated, date, and allow your mind to create an exaggerated image of that person. Soon you find that he’s your soul mate. You don’t want to live without him; he means everything to you. And then he stumbles, somewhere around three months, maybe six months. He fails to meet your expectations.

He loses soul mate status.

“You just aren’t the person I thought you were,” you say, walking out the door.

Of course he isn’t. He’s a person, not a figment of your imagination. Lighten up. Let each person be themselves.

When we’re with someone, either as a friend or as a lover, a good deal of the success or failure of the relationship can be traced to our expectations. We get angry when we expect someone to behave in a certain way and he or she doesn’t. We feel cheated, lied to, and disappointed. Here we stacked all of our chips on a certain number coming up, and when it doesn’t, we get mad.

Lose those expectations. If you enjoy another person’s company, then enjoy it cleanly and without expectations. People are people. They will stumble, they will get back up again– or not. You cannot control them. All you can do is learn from them, love them, and enjoy their company when they’re around.

Drop the expectations. Allow people to just be themselves. Appreciate them for why they are. Let the love that you have for them grow out of that appreciation, instead of out of what you expect in what writer Natalie Goldberg calls “your monkey mind.”

God, help me remember that when I lose my expectations I just might find real love.

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Listening with Your Heart
Less Thinking and More Feeling

by Madisyn Taylor

When we begin to listen with our hearts rather than our heads, our whole world changes and becomes softer.


Most of us were born and raised in cultures that value the head over the heart and, as a result, we place our own hearts below our heads in a sort of inner hierarchy of which we may not be conscious. What this means is that we tend to listen and respond from the neck up, often leaving the rest of our bodies with little or no say in most matters. This is a physical habit, which sometimes feels as ingrained as the way we breathe or walk. However, with effort and awareness, we can shift the energy into our hearts, listening and responding from this much deeper, more resonant place.

The brain has a masterful way of imposing structure and order on the world, creating divisions and categories, devising plans and strategies. In many ways, we have our brains to thank for our survival on this planet. However, as is so clear at this time, we also need the wisdom of our hearts if we wish to continue surviving in a viable way. When we listen from our heart, the logical grid of the brain tends to soften and melt, which enables us to perceive the interconnectedness beneath the divisions and categories we use to organize the world. We begin to understand that just as the heart underlies the brain, this interconnectedness underlies everything.

Many agree that this is the most important work we can do at this time in history, and there are many practices at our disposal. For a simple start, try sitting with a friend and asking him to tell you about his life at this moment. For 10 minutes or more, try to listen without responding verbally, offering suggestions, or brainstorming solutions. Instead, breathe into your heart and your belly, listening and feeling instead of thinking. When you do this, you may find that it’s much more difficult to offer advice and much easier to identify with the feelings your friend is sharing. You may also find that your friend opens up more, goes deeper, and feels he has really been heard. If you also feel great warmth and compassion, almost as if you are seeing your friend for the first time, then you will know that you have begun to tap the power of listening with your heart. Published with permission from Daily OM

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A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

Each of us in The Program can, in our own time and own way, reach the triumphant spiritual awakening that is described in the Twelfth Step. The spiritual awakening is a deep-down knowledge that we are no longer alone and helpless. It’s also a deep-down awareness that we’ve learned certain truths which we can now transmit to others so that perhaps they, too, can be helped. Am I keeping myself in constant readiness for the spiritual awakening which is certain to come to me as I practice The Steps and surrender my will to God’s will?

Today I Pray

May I be steady, not expecting that my spiritual awakening will startle me like an alarm clock into sudden awareness of a Higher Power. It may settle on me so quietly that I may not recognize precisely when my money of awareness comes. The clue may come in my desire to Twelfth_Step others. May I realize, then, that I have accepted the principles of The Program and am at home with the spiritual transformation I feel in myself.

Today I Will Remember

My spiritual awakening is my first private moment with God.

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One More Day

To know after absences the familiar street and road and village and house is to know again the satisfaction of home.
– Hal Borland

Home is a word that carries all kinds of meanings for us. For the majority, home has always been our anchor — the place where we can go even when we have had the worst possible of all days. Home usually means love, but it certainly means security and comfort.

As the years go by we understand that home has little to do with a physical structure. It can be a tiny apartment or an elaborate mansion. Or — better still — it can be the special comfort and security we feel within ourselves. It is , after all, what we bring to it and to the people around us. Home is, and always has been, where our heart is.

My home acts as one of the roots of my life, and it has all the qualities that I bring to it.

[bluidkiti]

December 22

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
And the seasons, they go round and round
And the painted ponies go up and down
We can't return, we can only look
Behind from where we came
And go round and round and round in the circle game.
--Joni Mitchell
High in the mountains near Sun Valley, Idaho, is a small cabin. The cabin is always left open for hikers to rest and refresh themselves. There is food in the cabin and wood for a fire. Often, weary backpackers have arrived there, tired and thirsty, to find just the beverage or snack they needed to help them on their way. The cabin operates on a system of trust--if you use something in the cabin, you replace it with something else. Perhaps it is just the thing the next traveler needs to go on. It is a circle game.
We are all part of a big circle. If we give of ourselves or do a favor for someone, eventually--sometimes years later--someone will do something for us that will help us on our way. We do these little deeds without expecting to be rewarded, and we can accept others' little gifts without feeling forever in someone's debt. These unselfish acts, stored in our mountain cabin, stand ready for the next traveler.
What gift can I pass on to another today?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
There isn't enough darkness in all the world to snuff out the light of one little candle. --Anonymous
Our lives can be like a battle between darkness and light. The darkness might be in our moods when we wake in the morning with feelings of despair. Then we can turn to the light of a prayer for openness: "God help me feel your love and acceptance." The darkness is there when we are tempted to take advantage of a clerk who gives us too much change. Perhaps we tell ourselves, "Everyone does it, it won't matter if I do."
Then the light comes as we remember that this program demands rigorous honesty, and each choice for honesty promotes our growth. The darkness may be when someone we care about is hurt or in danger, and we think, "I have to step in to prevent bad things from happening." Then we turn to our Higher Power for strength to stay in the relationship, but not control it.
Today, I can take a leap of faith by choosing an action and accepting that one small choice for the light makes a difference - even in all the darkness.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
When action grows unprofitable, gather information; when information grows unprofitable, sleep. --Ursula K. LeGuin
Sometimes we need to turn away from what's troubling us. Turn it over, says the Third Step. hanging onto a situation for which no solution is immediately apparent, only exaggerates the situation. It is often said the solution to any problem lies within it. However, turning the problem over and over in our minds keeps our attention on the outer appearance, not the inner solution.
Rest, meditation, quiet attention to other matters, other persons, opens the way for God to reveal the solution. Every problem can be resolved. And no answer is ever withheld for long. We need to be open to it, though. We need to step away from our ego, outside of the problem and then listen fully to the words of friends, to the words that rise from our own hearts. Too much thinking, incessant analyzing, will keep any problem a problem.
I will rest from my thoughts. I will give my attention wholly to the present. Therein will come the solution, and when least expected.


You are reading from the book The Language Of Letting Go.
Good Things Coming
Do not worry about how the good that has been planned for you will come.
It will come.
Do not worry, obsess, and think you have to control it, go out hunting for it, or tangle your mind trying to figure out how and when it will find you.
It will find you.
Surrender to your Higher Power each day. Trust your Higher Power. Then, stay peaceful. Trust and listen to yourself. That is how the good you want will come to you.
Your healing. Your joy. Your relationships. Your solutions. That job. That desired change. That opportunity. It will come to you - naturally, with ease, and in a host of ways.
That answer will come. The direction will come. The money. The idea. The energy. The creativity. The path will open itself to you. Trust that, for it has already been planned.
It is futile, a waste and drain of energy, to worry about how it will come. It is already there. You have it already. It is in place. You just cannot see it!
You will be brought to it, or it will be brought to you.
Today, I will relax and trust that the good I need, will find me. Either through my leadings, or the leadings of others, all I want and need will come to me when the time is right.


I can handle anything that comes up today... even if it is only a moment at a time. --Ruth Fishel

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Journey To The Heart

Practice the Power of Respect

It is a quiet power, one that caught me by surprise on my journey. I had heard about it before, but somehow, in the shuffle of life, I had forgotten it: respect.

Respect is a spiritual power, a power of the heart, one that’s closely connected to gratitude, yet somehow different. It is an attitude toward people, toward life, toward ourselves that only takes a moment to convey, yet somehow has far-reaching effects. It does more than free people to be themselves, it encourages them to be their best. It honors people, life, and the mysterious connection we each have to the Divine.

Have a series of life experiences caused you to forget respect? In your anger, did you decide that certain persons or groups of people were undeserving of respect? Has familiarity with yourself or another caused you to forget to practice respect? Let go of the past; it’s over. But your power to transform the future has just begun.

Respect and honor yourself. Respect the needs of your body, the needs of your heart, and the dictates of your soul. Respect the lives of others. Respect the gift of life. Bow in spirit to all you meet. Bow to the gifts of the universe– the sun, moon, earth, sea, and stars. Honor all that lives, the trees, the wildflowers, the eagle soaring high. The deer in the woods, the squirrel scurrying up the tree, the june bug that lights on your shoulder. Each has its place in this world. So do you.

Discover the power of respect. Then practice it often. let it change your world.

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More Language Of Letting Go

Say how sweet it is

There’s so much talk about finding that extraordinary love of our life. Maybe everything we need to know about romantic love can be learned from our friends.

We don’t expect our friends to change our life and make everything that’s wrong,right. We just expect them to be who they are, and then we let them be that. It’s part of being a friend.

We don’t expect to like everything about our friends. We know they have defects of character. They do things occasionally that irritate us.

We don’t expect our friends to entertain and amuse us, keeping us laughing and smiling all the time. We let them go through their ups and downs. Sometimes we just sit in silence with our friends, and we each keep our thoughts to ourselves.

We don’t pick fights and create drama with our friends, just to keep passion alive. Usually we do everything we can to avoid fighting with our friends. We want our friendship to be a quiet, safe, peaceful place, a haven in our lives.

We don’t expect our friends to turn our lives upside down, distracting us from our path. Usually if a friend attempts to wreak havoc in our lives, we run the other way.

We wouldn’t let a friend hit us. And friends don’t talk mean. If an issue comes up, we usually carefully weigh the best way to talk about this issue with her or him.

We don’t expect friends to be in perfect health all the time. We know that they will have issues to deal with as they walk along their own paths. We encourage them. We pray for them. But we don’t take their issues as our own, and we don’t take it personally when they need some time to focus on their own personal growth.

In friendships, one person does not hold all the power. So despite the differences in our lives, we try to relate as equals.

We’re tolerant of cycles in our friendships, knowing that at different times, each person has different needs, different experiences to go through. Sometimes there’s more time and energy to devote to the friendships. Other times, there’s less.

We don’t expect our friends to be at our side twenty-four hours a day. We have our time together and value that, but then we each go our own way. We don’t try to force bonding with friends, or even force the relationship to be a friendship too fast. We let ourselves go through experiences together naturally, knowing that that’s how bonding takes place.

I’m not a expert on marital love, but we might have a better chance at finding love if we treated our lover like a friend.

God, help me find the middle ground between unrealistic expectations and no expectations at all. Help me cherish my relationships and not confuse heavy drama with romantic love.

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Conditioned Response
Reactions To Life Events

Our experiences color everything. The events of the past can have a profound effect on how we see our lives now and what we choose to believe about our world. Our past experiences can also influence our emotional reactions and responses to present events. Each of us reacts to stimulus based on what we have learned in life. There is no right or wrong to it; it is simply the result of past experience. Later, when our strong feelings have passed, we may be surprised at our reactions. Yet when we face a similar situation, again our reactions may be the same. When we understand those experiences, we can come that much closer to understanding our reactions and consciously change them.

Between stimulus and reaction exists a fleeting moment of thought. Often, that thought is based on something that has happened to you in the past. When presented with a similar situation later on, your natural impulse is to unconsciously regard it in a similar light. For example, if you survived a traumatic automobile accident as a youngster, the first thing you might feel upon witnessing even a minor collision between vehicles may be intense panic. If you harbor unpleasant associations with death from a past experience, you may find yourself unable to think about death as a gentle release or the next step toward a new kind of existence. You can, however, minimize the intensity of your reactions by identifying the momentary thought that inspires your reaction. Then, next time, replace that thought with a more positive one.

Modifying your reaction by modifying your thoughts is difficult, but it can help you to see and experience formerly unpleasant situations in a whole new light. It allows you to stop reacting unconsciously. Learning the reason of your reactions may also help you put aside a negative reaction long enough to respond in more positive and empowered ways. Your reactions and responses then become about what’s happening in the present moment rather than about the past. As time passes, your negative thoughts may lose strength, leaving only your positive thoughts to inform your healthy reactions. Published with permission from Daily OM

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A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

Through our own experiences and the experiences of others in The Program, we see that a spiritual awakening is in reality a gift — a gift which in essence is a new state of consciousness and being. It means that I’m now on a road which really leads somewhere; it means that life is really worth living, rather than something to be endured. It means that I have been transformed in a sense that I have undergone a basic personality change — and that I possess a source of strength which I had so long denied myself. Do I believe that none come too soon to The Program — and that none return too late?

Today I Pray

I pray that I may attain that state of consciousness which transcends my everyday reality — but is also a part of it. May I no longer question the existence of God because I have touched His Being. For us who are recovering from addictions, the words reborn in the Spirit have a special, precious meaning. May I be wholly grateful to a Higher Power for leading me to a spiritual rebirth.

Today I Will Remember

Renaissance through my Higher Power.

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One More Day

What’s a joy to the one is a nightware to the other. That’s how it is today, that’s how it will be forever.
– Bertolt Brecht

Different stroke for different folks is a popular cliche, but it’s also an absolute truth which it comes to knowing people. Each of us has our own level of comfort for the activities we do and the performances we give in our lives.

we also find different levels of joy in our spiritual, social, and emotional experiences. Often, we find what we’re looking for — what we wish to find — in each situation. What’s most important is that we are able to find our own level of joy — wherever we are at that time — and claim it as belonging to us.

My joy may not be the same as someone Else’s joy, but I shall struggle on to keep the meaning of my joy alive.

[bluidkiti]

December 23

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
There are no riches above a sound body, and no joy above the joy of the heart.
--Anonymous
Holidays are a wonderful and exciting time of year--a time to enjoy snowflakes falling, company coming, and presents. Sometimes we find ourselves concentrating solely on the wrapped presents and forgetting about the presents of the heart. With God's help, we can begin to notice such things as the hug from a brother or sister, the laugh of a grandparent or the hand-drawn card given to us by a friend. All of these wonderful presents and more are ours for the taking; we need only to see beyond the wrapped packages. It is then we will fully experience the joys of the heart.
How many gifts do I see around me right now?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
Loneliness is the way by which destiny endeavors to lead man to himself.
--Hermann Hissed
We have an epidemic of loneliness among men in our world. Everywhere, men are walking around as though in plastic bubbles that prevent contact with others. We are cut off from closeness with our brothers and sisters, our own children, our mates, coworkers, and neighbors. We have learned to play the role, be efficient, and look good. Do we dare let others know how we feel? Will they look down on us? Will they think we're strange?
All this has made us ripe for the diseases of addiction and codependency. Some of us have romanticized the pain of loneliness and glorified it. We sought some comfort for our pain, but we only perpetuated it. Breaking through the barrier to let someone know us can be incredibly difficult. Yet, just to say "I feel lonely" to another person makes us slightly less alone. Going to meetings and working this program provide a way out. The greatest benefits of the program for many of us have been recovery from loneliness and the genuine relationships we have developed.
Today, I will reveal some of my feelings to another person.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
. . . The present enshrines the past. --Simone de Beauvoir
Each of our lives is a multitude of interconnecting pieces, not unlike a mosaic. What has gone before, what will come today, are at once and always entwined. The past has done its part, never to be erased. The present is always a composite.
In months and years gone by, perhaps we anticipated the days with dread. Fearing the worst, often we found it; we generally find that which we fear. But we can influence the mosaic our experiences create. The contribution today makes to our mosaic can lighten its shade, can heighten its contrast, and can make bold its design.
What faces us today? A job we enjoy or one we fear? Growing pains of our children? Loneliness? How we move through the minutes, the hours, influences our perception of future minutes and hours.
No moment is inviolate. Every moment is part of the whole that we are creating. We are artists. We create our present from influences of our past.
I will go forth today; I will anticipate goodness. I will create the kind of moments that will add beauty to my mosaic.


You are reading from the book The Language Of Letting Go.
Holiday Triggers
One year, when I was a child, my father got drunk and violent at Christmas. I had just unwrapped a present, a bottle of hand lotion, when he exploded in an alcoholic rage. Our Christmas was disrupted. It was terrible. It was frightening for the whole family. Now, thirty-five years later, whenever I smell hand lotion, I immediately feel all the feelings I did that Christmas: the fear, the disappointment, the heartache, the helplessness, and an instinctive desire to control. --Anonymous
There are many positive triggers that remind us of Christmas: snow, decorations, "Silent Night," "Jingle Bells," wrapped packages, a nativity scene, stockings hung on a fireplace. These "triggers" can evoke in us the warm, nostalgic feelings of the Christmas celebration.
There are other kinds of triggers, though, that may be less apparent and evoke different feelings and memories.
Our mind is like a powerful computer. It links sight, sound, smell, touch, and taste with feelings, thoughts, and memories. It links our senses - and we remember.
Sometimes the smallest, most innocuous incident can trigger memories. Not all our memories are pleasant, especially if we grew up in an alcoholic, dysfunctional setting.
We may not understand why we suddenly feel afraid, depressed, and anxious. We may not understand what has triggered our codependent coping behaviors - the low self worth, the need to control, the need to neglect ourselves. When that happens, we need to understand that some innocuous event may be triggering memories recorded deep within us.
If something, even something we don't understand, triggers painful memories, we can pull ourselves back into the present by self care: acknowledging our feelings, detaching, working the Steps, and affirming ourselves. We can take action to feel good. We can help ourselves feel better each Christmas. No matter what the past held, we can put it in perspective, and create a more pleasant holiday today.
Today, I will gently work through my memories of this holiday season. I will accept my feelings, even if I consider them different than what others are feeling this holiday. God, help me let go, heal from, and release the painful memories surrounding the holidays. Help me finish my business from the past, so I can create the holiday of my choice.


As I start this day with quiet meditation, I feel myself becoming still and at peace. At anytime during the day I can bring my mind back to this moment. I can bring my attention and awareness back to the peace that I have when I am with my breath and I know that my breath is with me at all times, whether I remember it or not. --Ruth Fishel

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Journey To The Heart

Bring Your Healing Gifts to Others

Let your healing gifts to the world spring naturally from who you really are.

You want to be a healer. You want to be a force for good in this world. Many of us believe deeply in healing, service, and love. But until you know what heals and helps you, what the truth is for you, you won’t know what heals and helps others.

True service, healing that touches the hearts and souls of men and women, doesn’t happen when we ignore who we are. It doesn’t happen when we try to be who we think we should be or when we pretend, out of fear, that we’re someone we’re not. The ability to bring healing to others can only come when we genuinely accept and love ourselves, past and present, and are vulnerable enough to be honest about what heals and helps us.

When we love and accept ourselves, we will love and accept others. And only from that place of acceptance can true healing spring.

Love yourself. Accept yourself. Be honest about what heals and helps you. Then you’ll bring your healing gifts to others. Your life will be a gift to the world.

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More Language Of Letting Go

How sweet and precious the moments

It had seemed like such an ordinary time. He was staying at the house, helping me out. I had funeral arrangements to make and to attend. My mother was coming into town. I had a lot to do.

Then the busy days and nights settled into the quiet rhythm of California winters– short days, fires in the fireplace at night, a pot of spagetti sauce on the stove. January at the beach was a time to stay in the house and be quiet and cozy.

Sometimes he cooked a wonderful dinner– Philly steak sandwhiches with real melted cream cheese. Other times, we ordered pizza and just ate in. Sometimes I read. Other times I talked on the phone or puttered around the house.

At night, right before sleep came, bringing a gentle end to another day, he put a Sarah McLaughlin CD on the stereo. She sang about being in the arms of angels as she gently sang me to sleep.

Then the day came. He was ready to leave. Our time together was done. So be it, I thought. What comes around doesn’t come to stay. It always comes to pass.

As he walked out the door, I waved good-bye. Then a wave of emotions rushed through me, flooding my heart. It had seemed like such an ordinary time. And it was. But until it was over, until he walked out that door, I didn’t know how rich and beautiful the ordinary was.

“Hmm,” I thought, watching him leave. Maybe the time hasn’t passed yet.

How sweet and precious are the moments of our lives, especially the ordinary ones. Don’t let them pass unnoticed or unexperienced. Those ordinary moments can easily become the richest part of our lives.

God, help me remember that the way to live a life filled with wonder and awe is to surrender to and live each moment fully, expecting and allowing each one to simply be what it is.

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Five Actions
Panchakarma

"Panchakarma," a sanskrit word meaning "five actions," describes a series of gentle, natural therapies that boost the body’s ability to detoxify and rejuvenate. As an essential part of Ayurveda, India’s ancient holistic system of medicine, it is used to maintain the body’s balance to prevent illness or as the first step in holistic treatment. Panchakarma’s incredible purification improves healing throughout the body, mind, and spirit, clearing the way for the body’s healing intelligence to flow freely.

Today, an oil massage, steam baths, and a special diet prepare your body for several days of relaxing, healing therapies at a spa-like medical clinic. A precise sequence of soothing treatments is then applied in such a way that brainwaves are stimulated and synchronized, creating deep relaxation and an expanded state of consciousness. At the same time, herbal therapies help flush toxins from the body’s systems and tissues while massage soothes the body and balances its energy. Profoundly rejuvenating, Panchakarma can increase energy and mental clarity. It has even been known to slow the aging process and heal diseases previously thought to be incurable according to Western medicine.

Depending on the needs of the particular individual, a series of five basic therapies are used: Vaman purges toxins from the sinuses, lungs, and stomach; Virechan flushes toxins from the small intestine; Vasti removes toxins from the colon; Nasyam is herbal therapy applied through the nose for head and sinus conditions. The fifth therapy can be one of three methods: Rakta Moksham removes the excess toxins in the bloodstream, while Shiro Dhara uses a hot-oil head massage. A second form of Vasti can also be applied. Along with a relief of symptoms and improvements in physical disorders, many people, after experiencing Panchakarma, feel lighter, more energized, and look younger. The body’s ability to heal itself is deeply enhanced with the techniques of Panchakarma. By embracing its methods, we eliminate obstacles to complete balance in our bodies and allow the powerful flow of our healing energy to restore our health, our natural glow, and our zest for life. Published with permission from Daily OM

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A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

How can I tell if I have had a spiritual awakening? For many of us in The Program, a spiritual awakening manifest itself in simple rather than complicated evidences: emotional maturity; an end to constant and soul churning resentments; the ability to love and be loved in return; the belief, even without understanding, that something lets the sun rise and set, brings forth and ends life, and gives joy to human hearts. Am I now able to do, feel and believe that which I could not previously do through my own unaided strength and resources alone?

Today I Pray

May my spiritual confidence begin to spread over my attitudes towards others — especially during holiday times, when anticipations and anxieties are high. As an addictive person, I have not handled holidays well — greeting those who gather at home, missing those who are not here. I pray for serenity to cope with the holiday brew of emotions.

Today I Will Remember

Spirit without “spirits.” Cheer without “cheer.”

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One More Day

It is a great piece of skill to know how to guide your luck even while waiting for it.
– Balstar Gracian

Manipulation sounds like such a harsh word, but consider the hands of a surgeon, the moves of an artist, the skill of an electrician. They manipulate their physical environment. In doing so, they are creating. In some subtle way — perhaps we are not even aware that we are doing it — we learn to manipulate our lives. We, too, are very creative.

Some people are able to reach for positive goals, even during seemingly negative times. These people are capable of scooping out the very best of life. Those are the ones who have learned to delicate art of helping themselves. They can create their own luck.

Sometimes luck isn’t always caused by a draw of the cards. I work hard in all areas to improve my lot, to improve my relationships, to improve my life.

[bluidkiti]

December 24

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
He is Father. Even more, God is Mother, who does not want to harm us.
--Pope John Paul I
God is many things to different people. Some call God "Father," others "Mother," still others "Higher Power," "Inner Light," "Deeper Self," and "Supreme Being."
It doesn't matter what name we use. No one name is ever fully adequate, and each of us has our own private way of trying to understand that which we can't ever understand fully. We give God names which attempt to express what God means to us personally, what God does for us as individuals, and how we see ourselves in relation to God.
Could it also be true that other people can't be labelled and put into one box? Doing so limits them to one particular way of being understood, and it limits the ways we can get to know them. If we are all made in God's image, then we all deserve the freedom to be seen differently by different people.
How does God look to me today?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
Celebration is a forgetting in order to remember. A forgetting of ego, of problems, of difficulties. A letting go. --Matthew Fox
A holiday presents us men with an opportunity to practice the letting go of this program. This is a special day to set aside our work and our routines, to put our problems and burdens on the shelf. Let us join with others who are also letting go on this day and celebrate. Maybe we can learn from them how they do it.
We may have been too compulsive on past holidays to celebrate. Or perhaps our holidays are clouded with painful memories. We might miss loved ones or we may recall disappointments or the chaos of earlier holidays. There is no need for perfection in our celebration. We can have some tension, or pain, and yet set it aside as we join with others for a special day.
Today, I will set my ego aside and let go of the usual things in my life in order to reach out to others and participate in celebration.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
Follow your dream . .
if you stumble, don't stop
and lose sight of your goal,
press on to the top.
For only on top
Can we see the whole view . . .
--Amanda Bradley
Today, we can, each of us, look back on our lives and get a glimmering of why something happened and how it fit into the larger mosaic of our lives. And this will continue to be true for us. We have stumbled. We will stumble. And we learn about ourselves, about what makes us stumble and about the methods of picking ourselves up.
Life is a process, a learning process that needs those stumbles to increase our awareness of the steps we need to take to find our dream at the top. None of us could realize the part our stumbling played in the past. But now we see. When we fall, we need to trust that, as before, our falls are "up," not down.
I will see the whole view in time. I see part of it daily. My mosaic is right and good and needs my stumbles.


You are reading from the book The Language Of Letting Go.
Getting Through the Holidays
For some, the sights, signs, and smells of the holidays bring joy and a warm feeling. But, while others are joyously diving into the season, some of us are dipping into conflict, guilt, and a sense of loss.
We read articles on how to enjoy the holidays, we read about the Christmas blues, but many of us still can't figure out how to get through the holiday season. We may not know what a joyous holiday would look and feel like.
Many of us are torn between what we want to do on the holiday, and what we feel we have to do. We may feel guilty because we don't want to be with our families. We may feel a sense of loss because we don't have the kind of family to be with that we want. Many of us, year after year, walk into the same dining room on the same holiday, expecting this year to be different. Then we leave, year after year, feeling let down, disappointed, and confused by it all.
Many of us have old, painful memories triggered by the holidays.
Many of us feel a great deal of relief when the holiday is ended.
One of the greatest gifts of recovery is learning that we are not alone. There are probably as many of us in conflict during the holidays than there are those who feel at peace. We're learning, through trial and error, how to take care of ourselves a little better each holiday season.
Our first recovery task during the holidays is to accept ourselves, our situation, and our feelings about our situation. We accept our guilt, anger, and sense of loss. It's all okay.
There is no right or perfect way to handle the holidays. Our strength can be found in doing the best we can, one year at a time.
This holiday season, I will give myself permission to take care of myself.


Today I am willing to be increasingly aware of my spiritual life. --Ruth Fishel

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Journey To The Heart

Heal Yourself

Infuse healing energy into yourself, into your being. For too long, we’ve been attracted to things that drain us, exhausting our body, depleting our soul. That time has passed.

The world is a spa, a nature retreat, a wealth of healing resources. Pour epsom salts and essential oils into your bath. Sit quietly by a tree or in a garden. Walk around the block in your neighborhood. Spend an afternoon in a nearby park or a day at the lake or beach. Throw stones into the river while you sit on the bank contemplating the eternal stream of life. Allow beautiful music to quietly imbue the stillness with healing instead of the pounding of your mind. Light a fire and awaken that darkened hearth to glowing flames and soothing warmth.

Rise from your bed early in the morning. Open the curtains. Watch the sunrise. Feel the sunrise. Let it infuse you with its message. Let it energize you, invigorate you, fill you with life. At day’s end return to the window. Or step outside. Watch the sun set. Absorb its changing colors spreading beyond the horizon. Feel how it changes the earth and all it touches.

Pet a puppy, stroke a piece of velvet, listen to a symphony. If you can’t slow down long enough to absorb the energy the first time, do it a second and a third. Absorb revitalizing energy until you can hear your voice, hear your heart tell you what would feel good, what would bring peace, what would bring stillness and joy. Before long, doing what brings healing and joy will become as natural as it used to be to do what drains, tires, depletes, and exhausts.

It isn’t enough to draw near to the light. Absorb it into you. Let it charge you and change you with its energy and its power. Healing is all around you. Wherever you are, whatever your resources, healing energy, and joy are there.

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More Language Of Letting Go

Let your family be

Timothy attended one of those seminars, the kind that talks about personal growth and encourages people to open their hearts. After the seminar, he was so moved by what he’d heard that he called his father on the phone. He hadn’t talked to his father for many years. They had a squabble years earlier when Timothy left home. Neither one wanted tp make the first move or to forgive the other person for the harsh words that had transpired. Timothy made the first move. He and his father have been close ever since.

Jessica had her share of troubled times with her mother,too. Over the years there had been times when they’d been close, times when they didn’t talk, and times when Jessica just did the minimum in the relationship, mostly out of a sense of obligation and guilt. As Jessica got older, she began feeling bad about her troubled relationship with her mother. She’d done her family of origin work. She knew her mother had been troubled; but after all, her mother was just a person. Why not forgive and forget? Jessica planned a big trip for the two of them to take, a mother-daughter vacation that would melt away the irritation and conflict from all the years. Jessica had so many hopes the day she met her mother at the airport. But when they got together in the same room for their two weeks of joy, Jessica realized she felt the same way she always had when she was around her mother: irritable, ashamed, and not good enough.

Clarence liked his dad when he was a boy. But the older he got, the more he wanted to leave home. His father had issues; Clarence did, too. After Clarence left home, he only spent a few minutes each year talking to his father. One day, when Clarence reached his thirties, he decided it was time for him and his father to be friends. He planned a trip to his father’s house. He couldn’t wait for the heart-to-heart talk they’d have. Clarence would talk about the struggles of being a man and growing up, and surely his father would identify with him. But when they got together, alone in the house, after Clarence poured out his heart, all his father had to say was, “Can you come outside and help me change the tire on the car?”

Families and parents come in all different kinds. Do your family of origin work. Be grateful for the good passed on to you from your ancestors and your heritage. Reach out, if that’s what your heart leads you to do. Be the best son or daughter you can, whatever that means to you. But don’t torture yourself if your relationship with your parents is not what you dreamed. Let each member of your family be who he or she is. Love them as much as you can. But if you never got along all that well before, you might not get along now, even after you open your heart.

Laugh. Smile. You don’t have to react. You know how to take care of yourself.

God, heal my heart toward all my family members. Help me accept each person for who he or she is. Then help me genuinely accept myself,too.

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Beyond Counting Blessings
Being Truly Thankful

by Madisyn Taylor

Our gratitude deepens when we begin to be thankful for being alive during this time and living the life we are living.


Often when we practice being thankful, we go through the process of counting our blessings, acknowledging the wonderful people, things and places that make up our reality. While it is fine to be grateful for the good fortune we have accumulated, true thankfulness stems from a powerful comprehension of the gift of simply being alive, and when we feel it, we feel it regardless of our circumstances. In this deep state of gratitude, we recognize the purity of the experience of being, in and of itself, and our thankfulness is part and parcel of our awareness that we are one with this great mystery that is life.

It is difficult for most of us to access this level of consciousness as we are very caught up in the ups and downs of our individual experiences in the world. The thing to remember about the world, though, is that it ebbs and flows, expands and contracts, gives and takes, and is by its very nature somewhat unreliable. If we only feel gratitude when it serves our desires, this is not true thankfulness. No one is exempt from the twists and turns of fate, which may, at any time, take the possessions, situations, and people we love away from us. Ironically, it is sometimes this kind of loss that awakens us to a thankfulness that goes deeper than just being grateful when things go our way. Illness and near-miss accidents can also serve as wake-up calls to the deeper realization that we are truly lucky to be alive.

We do not have to wait to be shaken to experience this state of being truly thankful for our lives. Tuning in to our breath and making an effort to be fully present for a set period of time each day can do wonders for our ability to connect with true gratitude. We can also awaken ourselves with the intention to be more aware of the unconditional generosity of the life force that flows through us regardless of our circumstances. Published with permission from Daily OM

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A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

We came to The Program as supplicants, literally at the ends of our ropes. Sooner or later, by practicing the principles of the Twelve Steps, we discover within ourselves a very precious thing. We uncover something with which we can be comfortable in all places and situations. We gain strength and grow with the help of God as we understand Him, with the fellowship of The Program, and by applying the Twelve Steps to our lives. Can anyone take my new life from me?

Today I Pray

May my prayers of desperate supplication, which I brought to my Higher Power as a newcomer to The Program, change to a peaceful surrender to the will of God. Now that I have seen what can be done through the endless might of a Higher Power, may my gift to others be that strong conviction. I pray that those I love will have the faith to find their own spiritual experiences and the blessings of peace.

Today I Will Remember

Peace — inner and outer — is God’s greatest blessing.

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One More Day

I have been sick and I have found out, only then, how lonely I am. Is it too late? – Eudora Welty

At one time, we may have thought in absolute terms. Either a person was our best friend or not. Things were right or wrong. We may have driven people from us — people we could have loved and who would have enriched our lives.

We have learned that if we are not happy, we need not accept things as they stand. The first step is always to admit there is a problem. Whether it’s loneliness, or we have been too brusque with others, or we need a spiritual change, we can admit it and do whatever is necessary to improve. We can turn to friends or even professionals for help if we need it. We can do this because it’s never too late.

Although the very thought of change is frightening, I will assess my life and begin anew today.

[bluidkiti]

December 25

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
We have no right to ask, when sorrow comes, Why did this happen to me? unless we ask the same question for every joy that comes our way. --Philip S. Bernstein
All of us have reasons to be grateful. Usually, the word implies we have received something. We often think of gratitude as that warm feeling we get from someone else's generosity. We are particularly grateful when we get unexpected gifts from those who owe us nothing. Within a family, we expect such acts of love because we are close to one another.
But gratitude doesn't always come from being a receiver. Gratitude is warmest when it accompanies the joy of being able to give without expecting anything in return. We find it isn't enough to feel grateful. We have to express our gratitude by showing kindness and service to everyone around us.
Gratitude is the greatest of all heart-openers. When it enters the heart, love pours out. For every kindness we receive, gratitude inspires a hundred acts of giving.
How can I show my gratitude today?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
In the sphere of material things, giving means being rich. Not he who has much is rich, but he who gives much. --Erich Fromm
Material possessions have great significance in our world. Not only do we strive to own a special car, electronic gear, and far more clothes than we need, but we also think in terms of possessing a girlfriend, or our health, or happiness, or things that cannot be owned. Some of us have become addicted to buying and owning things. This gimme-gimme mentality affects us all and, rather than enriching us, it impoverishes us. Tangible things enrich us only when we use them and share them to improve our lives and the lives of others. We don't need to be wealthy to share what we have with others. It is the sharing that nourishes us and builds bridges between us.
Wise people have known for thousands of years that a man's spirituality is deeply affected by his relationship to his possessions. When we respect what we own as a gift from God and share it with others, we grow richer spiritually.
I will hold my possessions loosely and with respect so they can be used well and shared.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
What we suffer, what we endure . . is done by us, as individuals, in private.
--Louise Bogan
Empathy we can give. Empathy we can find, and it comforts. But our pain, the depth of it, can never be wholly shared, fully understood, actually realized by anyone other than ourselves. Alone, each of us comes to terms with our grief, our despair, even our guilt.
Knowing that we are not alone in what we suffer, makes the difficulties each of us must face easier. We haven't been singled out, of that we're certain. Remembering that our challenges offer us the lessons we need in the school of life makes them more acceptable. In time, as our recovery progresses, we'll even look eagerly to our challenges as the real exciting opportunities for which we've been created.
Suffering prompts the changes necessary for spiritual growth. It pushes us like no other experience to God--for understanding, for relief, for unwavering security. It's not easy to look upon suffering as a gift. And we need not fully understand it; however, in time, its value in our lives will become clear.
I will not be wary of the challenges today. I will celebrate their part of my growth.


You are reading from the book The Language Of Letting Go.
The Holidays
Sometimes, the holidays are filled with the joy we associate with that time of year. The season flows. Magic is in the air.
Sometimes, the holidays can be difficult and lonely.
Here are some ideas I've learned through personal experience, and practice, to help us get through difficult holidays:
Deal with feelings, but try not to dwell unduly on them. Put the holidays in perspective: A holiday is one day out of 365. We can get through any 24-hour period.
Get through the day, but we aware that there may be a post holiday backlash. Sometimes, if we use our survival behaviors to get through the day, the feelings will catch up to us the next day. Deal with them too. Get back on track as quickly as possible.
Find and cherish the love that's available, even if it's not exactly what we want. Is there someone we can give love to and receive love from? Recovering friends? Is there a family who would enjoy sharing their holiday with us? Don't be a martyr; go. There may be those who would appreciate our offer to share our day with them.
We are not in the minority if we find ourselves experiencing a less than ideal holiday. How easy, but untrue, to tell ourselves the rest of the world is experiencing the perfect holiday, and we're alone in conflict.
We can create our own holiday agenda. Buy yourself a present. Find someone to whom you can give. Unleash your loving, nurturing self and give in to the holiday spirit.
Maybe past holidays haven't been terrific. Maybe this year wasn't terrific. But next year can be better, and the next a little better. Work toward a better life - one that meets your needs. Before long, you'll have it.
God, help me enjoy and cherish this holiday. If my situation is less than ideal, help me take what's good and let go of the rest.


Love fills me and heals me as I open to connect with the people that God has placed in my life. --Ruth Fishel

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Journey To The Heart

Experience the Thrill of the Climb

Don’t stop now. You’re almost there.

You’ve worked so hard to climb this mountain. In the beginning, you were excited. Exhilarated at the prospect of the mountain you were about to climb. Now, you are almost to the top. You’ve struggled, gotten weary, and kept going. Now, your goal is in sight.

Keep going. Guidance is still there to help you. The life force, the one that keeps you going, keeps you moving forward, is still there too, burning brightly within you, charging all that you do with its energy. It is more difficult for you to feel it, but that is only because you’re tired.

See the mountain climber as he climbs the mountain. There are dangers and precipices and challenges along the way. But the higher he climbs, the steeper it gets. The more tired he is, the more energy he has to put into the climb. Don’t tell yourself that the way you feel is an indication you should stop. The way you feel now is the way anyone would feel who was so deeply committed to life. It’s the way anyone would feel who had committed to climbing that mountain.

Don’t stop now. Relax as much as you can. Know that the rhythm of life is still there, moving you forward. Don’t look back. Focus intently on each step. Soon you will reach the top. Soon you will reach your goal. Soon you will experience the victory. Keep your eyes focused on the path, look straight ahead. Embrace the thrill of the climb.

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More Language Of Letting Go

Point to the good

Identify three things you like.

I was talking to my daughter on the phone one day after I had visited her at her house. I took a moment during the conversation, and I listed the three things I most enjoyed and liked best about our visit that day.

She caught her breath. She knew I was being honest. “Really?” she asked.

“I mean it,” I said. “I meant every word I just said.

Do you want to spark that relationship with your friend, your child, your lover, employee, co-worker, or boss? Instead of criticizing everything you don’t like, say what you like best. Most people have their share of insecurities about themselves, their relationships, and how they do at performing a task. Instead of thinking you’re the only one who feels insecure, tell people something that will help them feel good about themselves and their relationship with you.

Three is a good number, don’t you think.

Look in your heart and find three things you genuinely like about someone. Then tell them clearly what those things are.

God, help me start looking at the good in the people I love.

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The Joy of Being
Celebrating the In-Between Times

by Madisyn Taylor

Real life most often happens during the in-between times when we are not celebrating a special occasion.


While celebrations are intended to honor life’s more momentous occasions, much of real life tends to happen during the in-between times. While moving from one moment in time to the next is seldom considered a significant occurrence, it is during those in-between times that we are most in tune with life’s most profound, albeit simple joys. Between birth and death, triumph and sorrow, beginnings and endings, we enjoy innumerable experiences that often happen unnoticed. These times are just as worthy of celebration.

The in-between times are seldom about landmark moments. How you choose to celebrate them or which moments you choose to celebrate is up to you. You may want to celebrate the simple facts that you are alive and that every day is a chance to spend time with the people you care about or do the work that you love. Then again, when you look at the good that exists in your life, many reasons for celebrating the in-between times may become clear: a cup of your favorite tea, a beautiful sunrise, a good book, and the smell of fresh air can be reasons for celebration.

Celebrating the in-between times can be as easy as paying special attention to them when they do happen, rather than taking them for granted. It’s your focus of attention that can turn an in-between time into a celebration. You can also pay homage to the in-between times by slowing down and allowing yourself time to look around and allow your heart and mind to take in all of your life’s wonders. Far too often, we can let those simple moments of awe pass us by. The in-between times are when life happens to us between the pauses that we take to honor our milestones occasions. Without the in-between times, there would be no big moments to celebrate. Published with permission from Daily OM

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A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

Today is a special day in more ways than one. It’s a day that God has made, and I’m alive in God’s world. I know that all things in my life this day are an expression of God’s love — the fact that I’m alive, that I’m recovering, and that I’m able to feel the way I feel at this very instant. For me, this will be a day of gratitude. Am I deeply thankful for being a part of this special day, and for all my blessings?

Today I Pray

On this day of remembering God’s gift, may I understand that giving and receiving are the same. Each is part of each. If I give, I receive the happiness of giving. If I receive, I give someone else that same happiness of giving. I pray that I may give my self — my love and my strengths — generously. May I also receive graciously the love and strength of others’ selves. May God be our example.

Today I Will Remember

The magnitude of God’s giving.

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One More Day

All living souls welcome whatsoever they are ready to cope with…..
– George Santayana

So often, a problem would be overwhelming if we had to solve it all at once. We can allow ourselves to dwell only on small pieces of the problem at one time. Then, when we’ve come to terms with one part, another portion can be dealt with. Whether we are facing the death of a loved one or having to cope with other personal problems, our minds help us sort out the order in which we can best handle our pain.

Sometimes, we insist on tackling all of the problem, and we think ourselves into a kind of numbness. We’re unable to act. At those times, perhaps we can remind ourselves of how our minds work best. If we do, we can let go of the whole situation and, instead, take on only the small part we’re strong enough to handle.

Today, I will let go of all I’m trying to cope with. I will pick one or two small, positive things I can do. Then, I will do them.

[bluidkiti]

December 26

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
I take it that what all men are really after is some form of, perhaps only some formula of, peace. --James Conrad
When snow drifts quietly down on a winter evening, the hush of nature brings a great sense of peace. Each of us has known times like this. Many of these times did not depend on conditions like snow, or soft music. When we are able to keep a quiet center within ourselves, we are truly in tune with the spirit. Peace of the heart comes from a Power greater than ourselves, and from the faith that all of us, and all that happens to us, are part of a great plan.
Just as the snow falls softly, without fear, without regard for whether it will land on a tree bough or in the street, we, too, can live our lives with peaceful acceptance of whatever comes along, knowing it comes to us naturally and from God.
Am I prepared to accept wherever I will land today?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
He who knows how to be poor knows everything. --Jules Michelet
Letting go is one of the simple yet profound spiritual tasks taught by many of the world's religions. Knowing how to be poor means knowing how to have a full and rich life without a dependent relationship with material wealth, food, chemicals, or sex. It means not relying on the props in life like expensive clothes, a prestigious job, or a sporty car, but relying only on the basics. Knowing how to be poor is knowing we are not in control and not wasting our serenity in trying. It means being completely honest in all things. It means knowing life is neither easy nor free of pain.
Learning how to be poor is learning how to let go of all the essentials and appreciating the simplicity that endures. We don't automatically know how to do that, but we can learn.
I don't expect to know everything, but my Higher Power can guide me and show me how to let go.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
It is only framed in space that beauty blooms; only in space are events, and objects and people unique and significant and therefore beautiful.
--Anne Morrow Lindbergh
We must look closely; focus intently on the subjects of our attention. Within these subjects is the explanation of life's mysteries. To observe anything closely means we must pull it aside with our minds and fondle it, perhaps. We must let the richness of the object, the person, the event, wash over us and savor its memory.
Many of us only now are able to look around ourselves slowly, with care, noting the detail, the brilliant color of life. Each day is an opportunity to observe and absorb the beauty while it blooms.
I will look for beauty today, in myself, and in a friend, and I will find it.


You are reading from the book The Language Of Letting Go.
Growth
Just as when we were children and grew out of favorite toys and clothes, we sometimes grow out of things as adults - people, jobs, and homes. This can be confusing. We may wonder why someone or something that was so special and important to us last year doesn't fit the same way in our life today. We may wonder why our feelings have changed.
When we were children, we may have tried to fit an outgrown article of clothing on to our body. Now, as adults, we may go through a time of trying to force fit attitudes that we have outgrown. We may need to do this to give ourselves time to realize the truth. What worked last year, what was so important and special to us in times past, doesn't work anymore because we've changed. We've grown.
We can accept this as a valid and important part of recovery. We can let ourselves go through experimentation and grief as we struggle to make something fit, trying to figure out if indeed it no longer fits, and why. We can explore our feelings and thoughts around what has happened.
Then, we can put last year's toys away and make room for the new.
Today, I will let last year's toys be what they were: last year's toys. I will remember them with fondness for the part they played in my life. Then, I will put them away and make room for the new.

I live today as I want to remember my life. --Ruth Fishel

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Journey To The Heart

Take Time to Be with People You Love

I left Colorado driving toward the canyons of southern Utah. I had a lot of places left to visit on my journey, a lot of work left to do. But something, rather someone, was pulling on me. My daughter, Nichole.

She was in college in Arizona. When she finished exams, she planned to head to Minnesota to spend the summer there. We had talked about meeting somewhere midway. Now it didn’t look like that would work out. It might be months before we saw each other again. From where I was in Colorado, she was a hard day’s drive away. Besides, I had already been through Arizona, and it would take another day to get back to where I was now. I continued on my way.

The pull from Nichole continued,too. Finally, I turned the car around and headed toward my daughter. When I arrived at her dorm about ten that night, I called her room. She asked where I was now on my journey. I told her I was downstairs in the lobby of her dorm. She flew down the steps. We hugged and kissed. And we spent the next three days at a nearby hotel. She studied and wrote her term paper. We visited. Watched movies. Ate food. Laughed. Cried. And shared memories. It was one of the nicest times we’d had together in years.

When it came time to leave, Nichole packed her car and headed for Minnesota. I headed back toward Utah, stopping to enjoy the scenery of the Grand Canyon, scenery I had missed along my way. I felt renewed and refreshed. I hadn’t lost any time. I had gained the gifts of the heart.

We search for sacred spaces, spiritual experiences, and truths. But the holiest places are often found when we spend time with people we love.

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More Language Of Letting Go

The magic is in you

Sometimes, we play a little trick on ourselves.

We may get so close to someone, we think, I don’t have to let go. Or we may become so successful at manifesting events in our lives, we think, I don’t have to let go. When I want something, it just appears.

Anytime we forget to let go, life will jog us back into remembering. There is nothing that we can cling to in this world. Ultimately, all that we hold dear will require us to let go, in some shape or form. That child will grow up and leave home. That love relationship that’s going so wonderfully? A new cycle will come, in its time. That friendship will change. That job you thought you’d always have? Oops, the company merged. Your position is changed.

Although long-term relationships and secure employment and living in that house feels good, remember, that’s not where your security lies.

Let yourself bond. Get close to that woman, or man. Let yourself enjoy being friends with the best friend you’ve ever had. Be a loving parent, 100 percent. Throw yourself into that job with all your heart and soul.

But your security and joy are not in that other person or job. The magic is in you.

Don’t get angry when the time comes in your life to let go. Open your heart to that person, place, or thing, and say, “Thanks for teaching me to love and helping me to grow.”

Then let him or her go, without resentment in your heart. Because even though that time has come to an end, love can’t be lost. Even if it means an end to the best time you’ve had yet in your life. Look around at where you are now. Don’t forget to enjoy it,too.

This will be the next best time you’ll have.

Remember, love is a gift from God.

God, help me keep my head up, my heart open, and know I’ll always be guided along the path.

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Centering Ourselves
Gathering Our Straying Thoughts

by Madisyn Taylor

All too often our lives can be spread too thin and it becomes important to gather our thoughts and center ourselves to become whole again.


When our thoughts are scattered in several directions at once and we are no longer conscious of what we are doing or why, it is time to center ourselves. When we center ourselves, we begin by acknowledging that we have become spread too thin and we are no longer unified inside. Our thoughts might be out of sync with our feelings, and our actions may be out of sync with both. The main signs that we need to center ourselves are scattered thoughts and a feeling of disconnection or numbness, as if we are no longer able to take anything in. In addition, we may feel unfocused and not present in our bodies. Centering ourselves is a way of coming to terms with all the different energies within us and drawing them back into ourselves.

Centering yourself means that you are working from or being aware of the core of your being in the solar plexus area of your body. At first it may not make sense, but as you progress you will understand what this feels like. We naturally know how to center ourselves when we take a deep breath, for example, before making a big announcement or doing something big. Another way to center ourselves is to sit down and engage in breath meditation. We can start by simply getting into a comfortable upright position and noticing as our breath enters and leaves our bodies. Our breath flows into our center and out from our center, and this process can serve as a template for all of our interactions in the world. In conversations, we can take what our friends are saying into the center of our beings and respond from the center. Our whole lives mirror this ebb and flow of energy that begins and ends at the center of ourselves. If we follow this ebb and flow, we are in harmony with the uni! verse, and when we find we are out of harmony, we can always come back into balance by sitting down and observing our breath.

When we sit down to center ourselves we can imagine that we are gathering our straying thoughts and energies back into ourselves, the way a mother duck gathers her babies around her. We can also visualize ourselves casting a net and pulling all the disparate parts of ourselves back to the center of our being, creating a sense of fluid integration. From this place of centeredness, we can begin again, directing ourselves outward in a more intentional way. Published with permission from Daily OM

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A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

None of us can claim to know God in all His fullness. None of us can really claim to understand our Higher Power to any extent. But this I do know: there is a Power beyond my human will which can do wonderful, loving things for me that I can’t do for myself. I see this glorious power at work in my own being, and I see the miraculous results of this same power in the lives of thousands upon thousands of other recovering people who are my friends in The Program. Do I need the grace of God and the loving understanding of my friends in The Program any less now than when I began my recovery?

Today I Pray

May I never forget that my spiritual needs are as great today as they were when I came into The Program. It is so easy to look at others, newer to the recovery process, and regard them as the needy ones. As I think of myself as increasingly independent, may I never overlook my dependence on my Higher Power.

Today I will Remember

I will never outgrow my need for God.

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One More Day

Never let life’s hardships disturb you. After all, no one can avoid problems, not even saints or sages.
– Nichiren Daishonen

A worry-free life. Wouldn’t that be the ticket? It’s hard to even imagine what life would be like with no problems. Once in a while a person will say, “If only I’d known…I never would have.” Or, “If I had understood, I should have…”

We can’t life life always regretting past mistakes, and we shouldn’t fear furture ones either. The key to survival is not maintaining a stiff upper lip, as we hae been told, but to express our vulnerability. Stoicism gets nothing but more stress, so we’re learning to acknowledge our hardships as they come along. We’re not complaining or whining. We’re just bonding ourselves to the rest of the human race.

I can face new problems, not because I’m so strong, but because I can honestly admit my weaknesses.

[bluidkiti]

December 27

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
In this sad world of ours, sorrow comes to all, and it often comes with bitter agony. Perfect relief is not possible except with time. --Abraham Lincoln
Time may or may not heal all wounds. It depends on how we use the time. If we deny our sorrow, or runaway from it, or hope it will just go away by itself, we will be miserable. But if we turn and face it, and express our sadness in healthy ways, somehow we are transformed by the sorrow itself. While the loss is still there, it begins not to hurt so much.
We can express our sadness in many ways. Crying is probably the healthiest means of expressing grief. It's good to cry, even for men, because it releases tension and stress, and we find a little peace afterwards. It is true that tears are healing.
Getting angry and expressing our anger in appropriate, healthy ways also helps to heal wounds of loss, strange as it may seem. Yes, in time and with the courage to express our feelings, our wounds are indeed healed.
What is a healthy way to express my anger at a loss?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
Try not to become a man of success. Rather become a man of value.
--Albert Einstein
The marketplace and fashion entice us in countless ways to indulge our individual pleasures. Some say that success will be with the man who follows those seductive beckonings. Even sacrificing long hours by working two jobs to become a financial success or to achieve high career goals can be self-centered activity. It may be time and energy spent seeking power and glory at the cost of time with our family and friends - time for enjoying each other and growing. Sadly, external success leads to superficial pleasure but never to peace within ourselves.
However, when we pursue the values of honesty, humility, and service, we will find enduring self-respect and close friendships. This path provides a genuine experience of life's greatest rewards rather than the glitter of passing excitement.
Today, I will strive toward the greater values rather than superficial successes.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
One needs something to believe in, something for which one can have wholehearted enthusiasm. --Hannah Senesh
Life offers little, if we sit passively in the midst of activity. Involvement is a prerequisite if we are to grow. For our lives' purposes we need enthusiasm; we need enthusiasm in order to greet the day expectantly. When we look toward the day with anticipation, we are open to all the possibilities for action.
We must respond to our possibilities if we are to mature emotionally and recover spiritually. Idly observing life from the sidelines guarantees no development beyond our present level. We begin to change once we start living up to our commitment to the program, its possibilities and our purpose, and it's that change, many days over, that moves us beyond the negative, passive outlook of days gone by.
The program has offered us something to believe in. We are no longer the women we were. So much more have we become! Each day's worth of recovery carries us closer to fulfilling our purpose in life.
I believe in recovery, my own; when I believe in success, I'll find it. There is magic in believing.


You are reading from the book The Language Of Letting Go.
Near the Top
I know you're tired. I know you feel overwhelmed. You may feel as though this crisis, this problem, this hard time will last forever.
It won't. You are almost through.
You don't just think it has been hard; it has been hard. You have been tested, tried, and retested on what you have learned.
Your beliefs and your faith have been tried in fire. You have believed, then doubted, then worked at believing some more. You have had to have faith even when you could not see or imagine what you were asked to believe. Others around you may have tried to convince you not to believe in what you were hoping you could believe.
You have had opposition. You have not gotten to this place with total support and joy. You have had to work hard, in spite of what was happening around you. Sometimes, what motivated you was anger; sometimes fear.
Things went wrong - more problems occurred than you anticipated. There were obstacles, frustrations, and annoyances en route. You did not plan on this being the way it would evolve. Much of this has been a surprise; some of it has not been at all what you desired.
Yet, it has been good. Part of you, the deepest part that knows truth, has sensed this all along, even when your head told you that things were out of whack and crazy; that there was no plan or purpose, that God had forgotten you.
So much has happened, and each incident - the most painful, the most troubling, and the most surprising - has a connection. You are beginning to see and sense that.
You never dreamt things would happen this way, did you? But they did. Now you are learning the secret - they were meant to happen this way, and this way is good, better than what you expected.
You didn't believe it would take this long, either - did you? But it did. You have learned patience.
You never thought you could have it, but now you know you do.
You have been led. Many were the moments when you thought you were forgotten, when you were convinced you had been abandoned. Now you know you have been guided.
Now things are coming into place. You are almost at the end of this phase, this difficult portion of the journey. The lesson is almost complete. You know - the lesson you fought, resisted, and insisted you could not learn. Yes, that one. You have almost mastered it.
You have been changed from the inside out. You have been moved to a different level, a higher level, a better level.
You have been climbing a mountain. It has not been easy, but mountain climbing is never easy. Now, you are near the top. A moment longer, and the victory shall be yours.
Steady your shoulders. Breathe deeply. Move forward in confidence and peace. The time is coming to relish and enjoy all, which you have fought for. That time is drawing near, finally.
I know you have thought before that the time was drawing near, only to learn that it wasn't. But now, the reward is coming. You know that too. You can feel it.
Your struggle has not been in vain. For every struggle on this journey, there is a climax, a resolution.
Peace, joy, abundant blessings, and reward are yours here on earth. Enjoy.
There will be more mountains, but now you know how to climb them. And you have learned the secret of what is at the top.
Today, I will accept where I am and continue pushing forward. If I am in the midst of a learning experience, I will allow myself to continue on with the faith that the day of mastery and reward will come. Help me, God; understand that despite my best efforts to live in peaceful serenity, there are times of mountain climbing. Help me stop creating chaos and crisis, and help me meet the challenges that will move me upward and forward.


Today I am unveiling my layers and layers of self-doubt and letting them go. Today I am taking back all the power I have given to others by discovering the courage that comes from my own wisdom. --Ruth Fishel

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Journey To The Heart

Embrace Your Destiny

Her words were simple but profound. “Fall in love with your destiny.”

How often we search outside of ourselves for some elusive moment, for an experience like someone else is having, for an emotion we’d like to feel but aren’t, at least not right now. How often we long to be somewhere other than where we are, or someone other than who we are. How easy it can be to complain about and regret our past, thinking it’s somehow wrong.

The answer is to fall in love– fall in love with our own life. Our destiny isn’t some far-off moment or something that happens to someone else. Our destiny is taking place right now. It’s been happening all along.

Destiny is that mysterious force or energy that magically intertwines with choice, free will, and fate. Let all those elements weave together and create your life. But know you can help to create it too, by falling in love with your own life. Love all the places you have gone and all the places you will go. Love the lessons you have learned and the way you have learned them.

Most of all, love where you are right now. Because that’s where your destiny lies.

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More Language Of Letting Go

Cherish the glimmers of light

I know people who have been enmeshed in extremely hard times. One woman lost her husband and both children in a fire. Another found her teenage child hung to death– suicide– on her back porch one Sunday in the spring. I’ve known people struggling with chronic depression. I’ve known people who lost their fortunes in one swoop. I’ve known people who were active, healthy people one day, and the next day an accident paralyzed them for life.

I had my years of grief,too, after the death of my son. Year after year the pain pounded incessantly, threatening never to abate.

Listen carefully. I pray you will never have such a time. But even if you’re going through something like that, make every moment count. And pay special attention to the moments when the pain and the suffering subside, even if it’s only for a few seconds or hours. Count those moments as a gift, a glimmer of light. Hold them in your heart.

Write in your journal about how much it hurts. Feel all your pain. But take the time to document those brief moments each week when just a glimmer of pleasure sets in.

Remember, two plus two equals four. Four plus four equals eight.

Those moments will add up.

You might not be going through a time in your life that you relish, but try to find a few moments where you can catch your breath, look around, and say how sweet it is.

God, help me find at least one thing in my life that makes me feel good and gives me pleasure, even if it’s for only one moment of my day.

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Clarity of Soul
Chakra Clearing Exercise

by Madisyn Taylor

Just as the spaces we inhabit need to be cleared of clutter, our energetic fields must also be cleared of the old.


Just as the physical spaces we inhabit require that we clear them periodically of clutter, the energetic fields that are a vital part of our being must also be cleared of old thoughts, energy, and emotions. Clearing your chakras and your aura restores and strengthens your connection to yourself and your divine inner wisdom. Unfettered by energetic baggage masquerading as fear, pain, and self-hatred, your consciousness is once again free to grow. If you find the thought of clearing your energy fields disconcerting, simply think of it as cleansing the energy that surrounds you and releasing any stagnancy. You may not be able to see the results of your efforts, but you will experience a lightness of being and clarity of mind.

You can begin by sitting or lying down on a comfortable surface. Take a series of deep breaths and allow your soul to connect with Mother Earth and the vast expanse of the Universe. Visualize your first chakra, situated near the tailbone, and imagine if you will, a valve opening there, much like a faucet. Imagine a cord dropping from your tailbone deep into Mother Earth and let everything that is stagnant within you flow through it. Let go of old energy, inactive thoughts, and anything else that no longer serves you. Ask the earth to accept what you are offering by turning this old energy into light. Continue to let old energy drain out of you until you feel like you’ve released all your energetic baggage. When you are done, imagine the valve closing. Before moving on to clear your next chakra, let vibrant terra cotta light travel upward from the earth and through the cord into your first chakra. Repeat this process with all seven of the body’s chakras. The second chakra i! s orange, the third is yellow, the fourth is green, the fifth is blue, the sixth is indigo and the 7th is violet. Afterward, visualize your crown chakra and draw beautiful, golden-white light from the universe flowing down through the top of your head. Release any worries or fears that you have been holding on to. Draw this light into your aura and enjoy the resultant feeling of peace.

To finish clearing your energy and ensure that you have rid yourself of the last vestiges of clutter, take a bath infused with one cup apple cider vinegar, one cup Epsom salt, and one cup sea salt. After completing this exercise, be sure to thank Mother Earth and the universe for their help. Published with permission from Daily OM

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A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

“The central characteristics of the spiritual experience,” wrote AA co-founder Bill W., ‘is that it gives the recipient a new and better motivation out of all proportion to any process of discipline, belief, or faith. These experiences cannot make us whole at once; they are a rebirth to a fresh and certain opportunity.” Do I see my assets as God’s gifts, which have been in part matched by an increasing willingness on my part to find and do His will for me?

Today I Pray

I pray for the wholeness of purpose that can only come through spiritual experience. No amount of intellectual theory, pep-talking to myself, disciplined deprivation, “doing it for” somebody else can accomplish the same results. May I pray for spiritual enlightenment, not only in order to recover, but for itself.

Today I Will Remember

Total motivation through spiritual wholeness.

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One More Day

For age is opportunity no less
Than youth itself, though in another dress,
And as evening twilight fades away the sky is filled with starts, invisible day.
– Henry Waddsworth Longfellow

As young children we probably had favorite elderly people who made us feel special. We never gave much thought to their age. During young adulthood, however, we may have begun to dread getting elder. For some reason we saw the outward signs of aging as the beginning of the end.

As we become wiser and more mature, we come to realize that we once again venerate elderly people — for their wisdom, for their love, for their skills, and especially, for their joy of living. Many of us seem to choose one or two special people whom we wish to be like. And then we try our hardest to measure up.

I look forward to the wisdom and joy of living that often come with age. I am no longer afraid.

[bluidkiti]

December 28

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
I'll walk where my own nature would be leading--It vexes me to choose another guide. . . . --Emily Bronte
We journey across many intersections in our lives. Some may point in two directions, while others lead off in several. Our choice of direction can be difficult, especially when our friends choose a road we know to be dangerous. When this happens, we can choose to go our own way without them. If they begin to tease and taunt us about our decisions, may we remember that they are as scared as we were about their friends' reaction. We are not, after all, living for someone else. If we would be leaders, we can be assured that true leadership comes from following our own directions with confidence that it's right for us, not from fear of losing others' company.
We can let others live their own lives without us, if their direction is not for us. We can walk away with pride, satisfied in the knowledge that we refused to allow other people's fears change our decisions.
How have I gone my own way recently?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
He is a man whom it is impossible to please, because he is never pleased with himself. --Goethe
Many of us grew up trying to please our fathers and feeling we never got the approval we needed. Perhaps our fathers couldn't feel pleased with themselves. Now it is time to take stock of ourselves and ask whether we are perpetuating the pattern in our own lives. If we still feel unhappy with ourselves, we may never be satisfied with anyone else either. Spouses, children, bosses, even the parking lot attendant may receive the brunt of our self-disapproval. We don't totally change these patterns in an instant. We change them one day at a time.
Today, we have before us a small piece of the future. We can begin by treating ourselves decently. Maybe we can't feel a strong sense of personal approval yet, but we can give ourselves some basic respect. We can start by remembering we have the love of God. We can affirm at least one positive thing about ourselves. After some positive reflection, we will have more to give to others.
Today, I will give myself approval for at least one thing.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
The human heart dares not stay away too long from that which hurt it most. There is a return journey to anguish that few of us are released from making. --Lillian Smith
As the sore tooth draws our tongue, so do rejections, affronts, painful criticisms, both past and present draw our minds. We court self-pity, both loving and hating it. But we can change this pattern. First we must decide we are ready to do so. The program tells us we must become "entirely ready." And then we must ask to have this shortcoming removed.
The desire to dwell on the injustices of our lives becomes habitual. It takes hours of our time. It influences our perceptions of all other experiences. We have to be willing to replace that time-consuming activity with one that's good and healthy.
We must be prepared for all of life to change. Our overriding self-pity has so tarnished our perceptions that we may never have sensed all the good that life daily offers. How often we see the glass as half-empty rather than half-full!
A new set of experiences awaits me today. And I can perceive them unfettered by the memories of the painful past. Self-pity need not cage me, today.


You are reading from the book The Language Of Letting Go.
Panic
Don't panic!
If panic strikes, we do not have to allow it to control our behaviors. Behaviors controlled by panic tend to be self-defeating. No matter what the situation or circumstance, panic is usually not a good foundation. No matter what the situation or circumstance, we usually have at least a moment to breathe deeply and restore our serenity and peace.
We don't have to do more than we can reasonably do - ever! We don't have to do something we absolutely cannot do or cannot learn to do!
This program, this healthy way of life we are seeking, is built on a foundation of peace and quiet confidence - in ourselves, in our Higher Power, in the recovery process.
Do not panic. That takes us away from the path. Relax. Breathe deeply. Let peace flow through our body and mind. From this base, our Source shall supply the necessary resources.
Today, I will treat panic as a separate issue that needs immediate attention. I will refuse to allow panicky thoughts and feelings to motivate me. Instead, I will let peace and trust motivate my feelings, thoughts, and behaviors.


Today I am slowing down my pace. I do not have to accomplish the entire world in this day. It is one day. Today I have time to stop and smell the flowers. --Ruth Fishel

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Journey To The Heart

Heal Yourself

Infuse healing energy into yourself, into your being. For too long, we’ve been attracted to things that drain us, exhausting our body, depleting our soul. That time has passed.

The world is a spa, a nature retreat, a wealth of healing resources. Pour Epsom salts and essential oils into your bath. Sit quietly by a tree or in a garden. Walk around the block in your neighborhood. Spend an afternoon in a nearby park or a day at the lake or beach. Throw stones into the river while you sit on the bank contemplating the eternal stream of life. Allow beautiful music to quietly imbue the stillness with healing instead of the pounding of your mind. Light a fire and awaken the darkened hearth to glowing flames and soothing warmth.

Rise from your bed early in the morning. Open the curtains. Watch the sunrise. Feel the sunrise. Let it infuse you with its message. Let it energize you, invigorate you, fill you with life. At day’s end return to the window. Or step outside. Watch the sunset. Absorb its changing colors spreading out beyond the horizon. Feel how it changes the earth and all it touches.

Pet a puppy, stroke a piece of velvet, listen to a symphony. If you can’t slow down long enough to absorb the energy the first time, do it a second and a third. Absorb revitalizing energy until you can hear your voice, hear your heart tell you what would feel good, what would bring peace, what would bring stillness and joy. Before long, doing what brings healing and joy will become as natural as it used to be to do what drains, tires, depletes, and exhausts.

It isn’t enough to draw near to the light. Absorb it into you. Let it charge you and change you with its energy and its power. Healing is all around you. Wherever you are, whatever your resources, healing, energy, and joy are there.

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More Language Of Letting Go

Risk being alive

“I know nothing is going to lasr forever,” Charlie said. “But the key to life and being happy is acting as though it is.”

Many of us have had our illusions about security and permanency shattered. The longer we’re alive, the more it gets beat into us: nothing is forever. We can plan on many things, but the only thing we can plan on with any certainty is change.

At some time in our lives, we may have convinced ourselves otherwise. We surrendered ourselves to that job, that project, or that relationship with all our hearts, only to have it crash to an end.

Some of us may have decided, after enough cycles of beginnings, middles, and endings, that the way to deal with this was never to fully give our hearts to any person or circumstance, never to let ourselves fully be present and enjoy the moment.

If I don’t get in completely, I won’t get hurt when it ends, we think. Maybe. But you won’t experience the pleasure and joy, the rich, sweet full taste of those moments, either.

Okay, so you’re wiser now. You know nothing lasts forever. You know the moment something happens, the ending has already been written,too. People are born. They die. A job or project begins. Then it ends. But there’s an entire luscious middle waiting, inviting you to jump in fully and see how sweet life can be. Besides, when the ending does come, you’ll also have been given enough wisdom, courage, and grace to deal with that,too.

What are you waiting for?

Go ahead. Stop holding back. Jump in.

Live your life.

God, give me enough faith and a well of letting go so I can live each moment fully.

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Useful Transformation
Make Change Work for You

by Madisyn Taylor

When we experience change in our life we can control our response and reaction to the changes that are happening.


Transformation is a universal constant that affects our lives from the moment we are born until we leave earthly existence behind. At the root of all growth, we find change. Occasionally, change and the circumstances leading up to it are a source of extraordinary joy, but more often than not they provoke feelings of discomfort, fear, or pain. Though many changes are unavoidable, we should not believe that we are subject to the whims of an unpredictable universe. It is our response to those circumstances that will dictate the nature of our experiences. At the heart of every transformation, no matter how chaotic, there is substance. When we no longer resist change and instead regard it as an opportunity to grow, we find that we are far from helpless in the face of it.

Our role as masters of our own destinies is cemented when we choose to make change work in our favor. Yet before we can truly internalize this power, we must accept that we cannot hide from the changes taking place all around us. Existence as we know it will come to an end at one or more points in our lives, making way for some new and perhaps unexpected mode of being. This transformation will take place whether or not we want it to, and so it is up to us to decide whether we will open our eyes to the blessings hidden amidst disorder or close ourselves off from opportunities hiding behind obstacles.

To make change work for you, look constructively at your situation and ask yourself how you can benefit from the transformation that has taken place. As threatening as change can seem, it is often a sign that a new era of your life has begun. If you reevaluate your plans and goals in the days or weeks following a major change, you will discover that you can adapt your ambition to the circumstances before you and even capitalize on these changes. Optimism, enthusiasm, and flexibility will aid you greatly here, as there is nothing to be gained by dwelling on what might have been. Change can hurt in the short term but, if you are willing to embrace it proactively, its lasting impact will nearly always be physically, spiritually, and intellectually transformative. Published with permission from Daily OM

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A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

The Program, for me, is not a place nor a philosophy, but a highway to freedom. The highway leads me toward the goal of a “spiritual awakening as the result of these Steps.” The highway doesn’t get me to the goal as quickly as I some wish, but I try to remember that God and I work from different timetables. But the goal is there, and I know that the Twelve Steps will help me reach it. Have I come to the realization that I — and anyone — can now do what I had always thought impossible?

Today I Pray

As I live The Program, may I realize more and more that it is a means to an end rather than an end in itself. May I keep in mind that the mind of spirituality it calls for is never complete, but is the essence of change and growth, a drawing nearer to an ideal state. May I be wary of setting time-oriented goals for myself to measure my spiritual progress.

Today I Will Remember

Timetables are human inventions.

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One More Day

Sadness flies away on the wings of time.
– Jean De La Fontaine

When we’re sad, it’s hard to believe that time will heal all our wounds. An old family-practice doctor used to call it the TOT Treatment — Tincture of Time.

Our sadness may be due to a change in living patterns or even in the weather. It might be due to loss of a loved one, of good health, or even of a cherished object. And our grief takes time.

Whatever the reason for our sadness, after a self-imposed period of time alone, we begin to venture out once again into our world. We work our way, ever so slowly, back into some pattern of normalcy. TOT has done it’s work once again. Laughter surfaces, and we know we have put enough time and space between us and our sadness. We are whole again.

A time of sadness is natural, just as natural as the rediscovered joy that follows it.

[bluidkiti]

December 29

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
The price of dishonesty is self-destruction. --Rita Mae Brown
There once was a woman who told her husband what she thought he wanted to hear. She told him she was happy when she wasn't. She told him she liked his friends when she didn't. She tried to figure out what he wanted so she could do it for him. She felt hurt when he didn't do the same for her. She felt he should also try to read her mind and do what she wanted without her having to express it. She was scared to tell him how she really felt.
However, her pain and resentment grew so much she couldn't stand it any longer, so she told him her true feelings. He was so used to hearing her lies that he called her a liar when she told the truth. Now she knew how much she had hurt herself by trying to please him at the cost of her own honesty and needs.
Honesty is necessary for a good relationship with anyone. When we lie to ourselves, we cannot tell the truth to others. By being honest, we open our doors to others, we trust them with our true feelings, and they love us for who we really are.
Who can I tell how I really feel today?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
Our greatest glory consists not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall. --Ralph Waldo Emerson
After we get a new understanding about ourselves we think, "Now I will never have to make the same mistake again!" But our lessons are usually not that easily learned. We have to get them into our muscles and bones as well as our heads. Some of us have to learn how to be kind; others, how to be good listeners or how to stand up for ourselves in many different ways. Every new situation calls on a little different way of knowing, and perhaps we have to fall a few times in the learning.
The most important asset in our lives is the faith to get up again and continue. We must accept our imperfections. Each time we fall and with each mistake we make, we're vulnerable to doubting and losing faith. By rising again, we make progress in our learning and continue to become better men.
Today, I will have faith, even in the midst of my mistakes.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
Kindness and intelligence don't always deliver us from the pitfalls and traps. There is no way to take the danger out of human relationships. --Barbara Grizzuti Harrison
Relationships with other people are necessary to escape loneliness; however, relationships do not guarantee freedom from pain. Nurturing a meaningful relationship with another human being takes patience, even when we don't have any. It takes tolerance, even if we don't feel it. It takes selflessness, at those very moments our own ego is crying for attention.
Yet, we need relationships with others; they inspire us. We learn who we are and who we can become through relationships. They precipitate our accomplishments. Our creativity is encouraged by them, and so is our emotional and spiritual development.
We can look around us, attentively. We can feel blessed, even when it's a negative situation. Every situation is capable of inspiring a positive step forward. Every situation is meant for our good.
There's risk in human relationships, and it's often accompanied by pain. But I am guaranteed growth, and I will find the happiness I seek. I will reach out to someone today.


You are reading from the book The Language Of Letting Go.
Moving On
Learn the art of acceptance. It's a lot of grief. --Codependent No More
Sometimes, as part of taking care of ourselves, it becomes time to end certain relationships. Sometimes, it comes time to change the parameters of a particular relationship.
This is true in love, in friendships, with family, and on the job.
Endings and changes in relationships are not easy. But often, they are necessary.
Sometimes, we linger in relationships that are dead, out of fear of being alone or to postpone the inevitable grieving process that accompanies endings. Sometimes, we need to linger for a while, to prepare ourselves, to get strong and ready enough to handle the change.
If that is what we are doing, we can be gentle with ourselves. It is better to wait until that moment when it feels solid, clear, and consistent to act.
We will know. We will know. We can trust ourselves.
Knowing that a relationship is changing or is about to end is a difficult place to be in, especially when it is not yet time to act but we know the time is drawing near. It can be awkward and uncomfortable, as the lesson draws to a close. We may become impatient to put closure on it, but not yet feel empowered to do that. That's okay. The time is not yet right. Something important is still happening. When the time is right, we can trust that it will happen. We will receive the power and the ability to do what we need to do.
Ending relationships or changing the boundaries of a particular relationship is not easy. It requires courage and faith. It requires a willingness on our part to take care of ourselves and, sometimes, to stand-alone for a while.
Let go of fear. Understand that change is an important part of recovery. Love yourself enough to do what you need to do to take care of yourself, and find enough confidence to believe that you will love again.
We are never starting over. In recovery, we are moving forward in a perfectly planned progression of lessons. We will find ourselves with certain people - in love, family, friendships, and work - when we need to be with them. When the lesson has been mastered, we will move on. We will find ourselves in a new place, learning new lessons, with new people.
No, the lessons are not all painful. We will arrive at that place where we can learn, not from pain, but from joy and love.
Our needs will get met.
Today, I will accept where I am in my relationships, even if that place is awkward and uncomfortable. If I am in the midst of endings, I will face and accept my grief. God, help me trust that the path I am on has been perfectly and lovingly planned for me. Help me believe that my relationships are teaching me important lessons. Help me accept and be grateful for middles, endings, and new beginnings.


Through prayer and meditation God guides me to the appropriate people for guidance in the important decisions I must make in my life. I trust my answers to be there when the time is right. --Ruth Fishel

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Journey To The Heart

Experience the Thrill of the Climb

Don’t stop now. You’re almost there.

You’ve worked so hard to climb this mountain. In the beginning, you were excited. Exhilarated at the prospect of the mountain you were about to climb.

Now you are almost to the top. You’ve struggled, gotten weary, and kept going. Now, your goal is in sight.

Keep going. Guidance is still there to help you. The life force, the one that keeps you going, keeps you moving forward, is still there too, burning brightly within you, charging all that you do with its energy. It is more difficult for you to feel it, but that is only because you’re tired.

See the mountain climber as he climbs the mountain. There are dangers and precipices and challenges along the way. But the higher he climbs, the steeper it gets. The more tired he is, the more energy he has to put into the climb. Don’t tell yourself that the way you feel is an indication you should stop. The way you feel now is the way anyone would feel who was so deeply committed to life. It’s the way anyone would feel who had committed to climbing that mountain.

Don’t stop now. Relax as much as you can. Knowing that the rhythm of life is still there, moving you forward. Don’t look back. Focus intently on each step. Soon you will reach the top. Soon you will reach your goal. Soon you will experience the victory. Keep your eyes focused on the path, look straight ahead. Embrace the thrill of the climb.

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More Language Of Letting Go

Let the adventure consume you

The spirit of adventure settles over us slowly sometimes. In the beginning, when those old winds of change blow, we turn our backs, fight, and resist. We just want things to stay the same. Gradually we let go of the need to control. We allow things to change and us to change with them.

We accept the change.

Then we round the corner and find a wonderful lesson there, and then another, and another. Soon we find ourselves looking forward to taking the next step, anxious to see what lies in front of us today. Where will my path lead? Who will I meet? What will I learn? What wonderful lesson is taking place right now?

And the adventure begins to consume us.

The steps that you have been taking have been slowly leading you down a path with more wonder and goodness at every turn of the road. You learned to tolerate change. Now learn to embrace it.

Adventure isn’t something you do. The adventure is your life. Recognize how sweet it is. Let those winds of change blow.

God, help me cultivate a spirit of adventure in my life.

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A Self-Created State
Worry

We have all had the experience of worrying about something at some point in our lives. Some of us have a habitual tendency to worry, and all of us have known someone who is a chronic worrier. Worry is an extension of fear and can be a very draining experience. In order for worry to exist, we have to imagine that something bad might happen. What we are worrying about has not happened yet, however, so this bad thing is by definition a fantasy. Understood this way, worry is a self-created state of needless fear. Still, most of us worry.

One reason we worry is because we feel like we’re not in control. For example, you might worry about your loved ones driving home in bad weather. There is nothing you can do to guarantee their safe passage, but you worry until you find out they have reached their destination unharmed. In this instance, worry is an attempt to feel useful and in control. However, worrying does nothing to ensure a positive outcome and it has an unpleasant effect on your body, mind, and spirit. The good news is that there are ways to transform this kind of worry so that it has a healing effect. Just as worry uses the imagination, so does the antidote to worry. Next time you find that you are worrying, imagine the best result instead of anticipating the worst outcome. Visualize your loved ones’ path bathed in white light and clearly see in your mind’s eye their safe arrival. Imagine angels or guides watching over them as they make their way home. Generate peace and well-being instead of nervousn! ess and unease within yourself.

Another reason we worry is that something that we know is pending but are avoiding is nagging us—an unpaid parking ticket, an upcoming test, an issue with a friend. In these cases, acknowledging that we are worried and taking action is the best solution. If you can confront the situation and own your power to change it, you’ll have no reason to worry. Published with permission from Daily OM

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A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

The success of The Program, i’ve been taught, lies in large measure in the readiness and willingness of its members to go to any lengths to help others tyrannized by their addictions. If my readiness and willingness cools, then I stand in danger of losing all that I’ve gained. I must never become unwilling to give away what I have, for only by so doing will I be privileged to keep it. Do I take to heart the saying, “Out of self into God into others…”?

Today I Pray

May I never be too busy to answer a fellow addict’s call for help. May I never become so wound up in my pursuits that I forget that my own continuing recovery depends on that helping — a half-hour or so on the telephone, a call in person, a lunch date, whatever the situation calls for. May I know what my priorities must be.

Today I Will Remember

Helping helps me.

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One More Day

The proper function of man is to live, not to exist. I shall not waste my days in trying to prolong them.
– Jack London

We are on a remarkable journey that holds wonderful possibilities. Sometimes people who have undergone a crisis think they have arrived at the end of the journey. The excitement of living decreases each day.

Surrounding ourselves with loving, caring people gives us the greatest chance of coming out of the depression caused by our problems. Also, treating ourselves gently can improve our outlook. When we show loving care for others and ourselves, we will once again be moving back into the mainstream of life. We will be filled once again with the excitement and joy of the journey that lies ahead.

I owe myself the excitement of each day to come. Today, I will savor my life.

[bluidkiti]

December 30

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
Telling the truth is a pretty hard thing. --Thomas Wolfe
Lying can be like sailing choppy waters. The more we lie, the higher the waves get, and the harder the sailing. When we lie, we feel we've failed ourselves and others. We have to work hard to cover up our lies, and the fear of someone finding out is always with us.
If we ask God for courage to tell the truth, we can be like the sailboat on a clear and calm day. We can enjoy the small waves and the light warm breeze we've given ourselves. Honesty is a good habit, and is easy. With a little faith in our own worth, we can choose the calm waters' honesty and apply our creativity to new, growth-oriented activities instead of covering up old mistakes.
How can I smooth my waters right now?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
When we are reduced to our last extreme, there is no further evasion. The choice is a terrible one. It is made in the heart of darkness ... when we who have been destroyed and seem to be in hell miraculously choose God! --Thomas Merton
There are many ways we benefit from a life crisis. Perhaps none of us could achieve true adult maturity - or a relationship with God - without having the foundations of our lives shaken. One of our pathways to crisis was the willful pursuit of control in our codependent and addictive lives. Our lifestyles were extreme, the consequences were extreme, and our surrender had to be absolute.
Most of us are surprised by how our weaknesses can turn to strengths. When our defiant wills led us to the utter bottom of our despair, we finally turned to a Power greater than ourselves and found a new way to live. This spiritual story is told in endless variations in our meetings, and it is renewed in small ways every day in each of our lives.
God, lift my defiant willfulness from me and renew my day.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
And what a delight it is to make friends with someone you have despised! --Colette
What does it mean to say we "despise" someone? Usually it means that we have invested a lot of energy in negative feelings; it means that we have let ourselves care deeply about someone. We would never say we "despised" someone who wasn't important to us. Why have we chosen to let negative feelings occupy so much of our hearts?
Sometimes, in the past, that negative energy has become almost an obsession, consuming our time, gnawing at our self-esteem. But in recovery there comes a moment of lightning change; a moment of release from the bonds of obsession. The other person is, after all, just another person--a seeker, like ourselves. And, since we cared enough to devote our time and energies to disliking her, she is probably someone who would be rewarding to know.
Recovery has given us the opportunity to turn over many negative feelings, to discover that "friend" and "enemy" can be two sides of the same person.
Today, I will look into my heart and see whether I am clinging to obsessive concerns with other people. I will resolve to let them go.


You are reading from the book The Language Of Letting Go.
Laying the Foundation
The groundwork has been laid.
Do you not see that?
Don't you understand that all you have gone through was for a purpose?
There was a reason, a good reason, for the waiting, the struggle, the pain, and finally the release.
You have been prepared. The same way a builder must first tear down and dig out the old to make way for the new, your Higher Power has been cleaning out the foundation in your life.
Have you ever watched a builder at construction? When he begins his work, it looks worse than before he began. What is old and decayed must be removed. What is insufficient or too weak to support the new structure must be removed, replaced, or reinforced. No builder who cares about his or her work would put a new surface over an insufficient support system. The foundation would give way. It would not last.
If the finished product is to be what is desired, the work must be done thoroughly from the bottom up. As the work progresses, it often appears to be an upheaval. Often, it does not seem to make sense. It may appear to be wasted time and effort, because we cannot see the final product yet.
But it is so important that the foundation be laid properly if the fun work, the finishing touches, is to be all that we want it to be.
This long, hard time in your life has been for laying of groundwork. It was not without purpose, although at times the purpose may not have been evident or apparent.
Now, the foundation has been laid. The structure is solid.
Now, it is time for the finishing touches, the completion.
It is time to move the furniture in and enjoy the fruits of the labor.
Congratulations. You have had the patience to endure the hard parts. You have trusted, surrendered, and allowed your Higher Power and the Universe to heal and prepare you.
Now, you shall enjoy the good that has been planned.
Now, you shall see the purpose.
Now, it shall all come together and make sense.
Enjoy.
Today, I will surrender to the laying of the foundation - the groundwork - in my life. If it is time to enjoy the placement of the finishing touches, I will surrender to that, and enjoy that too. I will remember to be grateful for a Higher Power that is a Master Builder and only has my best interests in mind, creating and constructing my life. I will be grateful for my Higher Power's care and attention to details in laying the foundation - even though I become impatient at times. I will stand in awe at the beauty of God's finished product.


It feels so good to help other people and to know that I have something to give them. It feels so good to have turned my own life around so that it can benefit others. (Author's note: Please know that we all have so much to give. The world really needs us recovering folks now. We have been given an extraordinary gift of a way of life second to none, and as we continue to grow spiritually, we do make a difference in the world.) --Ruth Fishel

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Journey To The Heart

Joy Is Your Next Lesson

Learning compassion, understanding love, and experiencing joy. That’s our purpose, our reason for being here. That’s our true mission on this planet.

Learning compassion may have been difficult, because in order to feel compassion for others without judging, we had to go through difficult times ourselves. Times when despite our best efforts we couldn’t help ourselves, times when despite our searching we couldn’t find the answers. As many say, it is usually our own pain and problems that makes us compassionate.

Understanding love may have taken many years, many heartbreaks, and much searching and grasping until we discovered that the key to love was our own heart. Until we discovered that love wasn’t exactly what we thought or hoped it would be. Now it’s different. And better.

Don’t give up. Don’t stop now. Don’t let the residue, the pain from the early parts of your journey, stop you from going forward. We first had to learn about compassion and love in order to learn joy.

The hard work is done. Now you have reached your reward. Now it is time to learn joy.

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More Language Of Letting Go

Slow down and let go

On a road trip up the California coast a while back, I tried to call home only to find that the batteries in my cell phone had died. I worried. What if someone needed to get in touch with me? What if there was a problem with the house? What if my family couldn’t find me and got worried?

I passed the exit to the beach that I had always wanted to see.

I obessed some more.

I stopped for breakfast at a restaurant overlooking the Pacific Ocean. I asked if they had a pay phone. They didn’t. I barely noticed the stunning view, the smell or the sound of the surf, and I can’t remember eating my eggs and toast.

I put off seeing things until another trip; I took the freeway and got home early.

When I got home, there were no messages. No one had needed me; no one had even been aware that I was gone. But I had missed out on the treasures of the trip. I had spent so much time obsessing, I could barely remember where I’d been.

Are you missing out on the wonder of your trip because you’re in too big of a hurry? Let go. Breathe deeply. As long as you’re taking the journey, you might as well relax and enjoy the ride.

God, help me enjoy where I am right now.

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The Ways We Love
Choosing to Have a Mate or Being Single

The way we choose to love can be as unique as the way we choose to make a living, maintain our health, or entertain ourselves. Some choose to seek out a mate and enter into a partnership with a special individual, while others find immense satisfaction in staying single. There is no right or wrong way to be in your life when it comes to deciding whether or not to be in a relationship, even though society tends to put an emphasis on romantic partnerships. Whether you choose to go through life as part of a romantic relationship or live as a single unit, there are benefits to both. Feel free to be comfortable with whatever choice is right for you.

Choosing to be single is a wonderful way to spend time discovering yourself. You have more time and space to figure out what and how you want your life to be without having to keep someone else’s choices in mind. Being single gives you the freedom to do what you want at a moment’s notice and the pride that comes with facing life on your own terms. Companionship, support, and affection can be found while spending quality time with friends, colleagues, and relatives. There is also the fun that comes with being able to date many different people without having to make a commitment. Choosing to have a mate, on the other hand, brings with it an opportunity to share your life with another person. There is comfort in the knowledge that you are facing the world with someone as a united front. When life is challenging, you are in a position to strengthen, as well as give each other comfort. There is also the inevitable transformation of self that comes from allowing another person t! o so intimately be a part of your life.

Remember that what is right for one person may not be right for another, and people can transition between wanting to be with another person and wanting to be alone many times over the course of their lives. Whether you seek out a mate or live the single life, embracing it fully will ensure that either choice is as fulfilling as possible for you. Published with permission from Daily OM

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A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

My life before coming to The Program was not unlike the lives of so many of us who were cruelly buffeted and tormented by the power of our addictions. For years, I had been sick and tired. When I became sick and tired of being sick and tired, I finally surrendered and came to The Program. Now I realize that I had been helped all along by a Higher Power; it was He, indeed, who allowed me to live so that I could eventually find a new way of life. Since my awakening, have I found a measure of serenity previously unknown in my life.

Today I Pray

May I realize that my Higher Power has not suddenly come into my life like a stranger opening a door when I knocked. The Power has been there all along, if I will just remember how many brushes with disaster I have survived by a fraction of time or distance. Now that I have come to know my Higher Power better, I realize that I must have been saved from something — for helping others like me.

Today I Will Remember

I am grateful to be alive and recovering.

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One More Day

To forgive is the highest, most beautiful form of love. In return, you will receive untold peace and happiness. – Robert Muller

When we are trying to cope with a newly diagnosed illness, feelings may be hurt a little too easily, especially when we feel slighted by the very people we feel should understand. We probably are more vulnerable to hurt at first, and we may even at times feel sorry for ourselves.

There comes a time, however, when we can see the futility of carrying old grudges. There’s no longer a need to know or prove who was right and who was wrong. As we’ve learned to cope with our illness, we’ve become emotionally stronger — strong enough to let go of anger and to forgive. The more we forgive, the calmer and more serene we will become, until ultimately our reward will be inner peace and trust.

I can let go of past hurts. I can bridge the gap caused by misunderstandings.

[bluidkiti]

December 31

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
Finish each day and be done with it. Tomorrow is a new day; begin it well. --Ralph Waldo Emerson
Two of the most useless phrases in the English language are "what if" and "if only." We waste so much time and energy thinking about what we might have done and wishing we had acted or reacted differently. We imagine how things might have turned out "if only . . ."
All of us make mistakes. To go back and wonder and wish about our yesterdays prevents us from living fully today. Each day is a fresh chance; a new beginning. We can only squeeze what we can out of the moment and let the drops fall where they may. Some will evaporate and some will form rainbows.
Can I forget about yesterday and start a fresh new day?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
Dawns another year,
Open it aright;
Thou shalt have no fear
In its fading light.
--Joseph Krauskopf
New Year's Eve is a good time to reflect upon the closing year and set our direction for the year ahead. This day reminds us that every day of the year is lived just one at a time. Looking back, we can see a year's change in ourselves. We see the progress we have made as men on our journey. Perhaps we see how much stronger we are emotionally. Maybe we see relationships that have developed because of our growing ability to love. Certainly all of us have some things we regret and some changes we mourn. They too have their place today.
As we begin the coming year, let us review our relationship with each of the Steps. We may perceive aspects of our program that call for more attention. One or two particular Steps may speak to our needs at this time or may have been overlooked in this past year. On this last day of the year, we can again turn our lives and will over to the care of a loving God.
I look to the New Year with a renewed commitment to the Steps.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
In the process of growing to spiritual maturity, we all go through many adolescent stages. --Miki L. Bowen
Progress, not perfection, is our goal in this recovery program. And many days we'll be haunted by the feeling that we've regressed. We will display old behavior. We will feel unable to change, to go on, to make gains once again. But these periods will pass, and soon progress will be evident again.
We must be wary of our need for perfection. It's this need that makes normal progress seem not good enough. And yet, that's all we're capable of--and all we'll ever need to be capable of. The program, its Steps and the promises offered, provide the tools we have lacked, yet need to use in order to accept ourselves wholly and imperfectly.
Daily attention to our spiritual side will foster the spiritual and emotional health we long for. Prayer and meditation, combined with honest inventory-taking, can show us the personal progress needed, the personal progress made. However, we will falter on occasion. We will neglect our program some days. But it won't ever be beyond our reach. And each day is a new beginning.
Today is before me, and I can make progress. I will begin with a quiet prayer and a moment of meditation.


You are reading from the book The Language Of Letting Go.
Affirming the Good
Fun becomes fun, love becomes love, life becomes worth living. And we become grateful. --Beyond Codependency
Wait, and expect good things - for yourself and your loved ones.
When you wonder what is coming, tell yourself the best is coming, the very best life and love have to offer, the best God and His universe have to send. Then open your hands to receive it. Claim it, and it is yours.
See the best in your mind; envision what it will look like, what it will feel like. Focus, until you can see it clearly. Let your whole being, body and soul, enter into and hold onto the image for a moment.
Then, let it go. Come back into today, the present moment. Do not obsess. Do not become fearful. Become excited. Live today fully, expressing gratitude for all you have been, all you are, and all you will become.
Wait, and expect good things.
Today, when I think abut the year ahead, I will focus on the good that is coming.


Today I have all the willingness... all the energy and all the guidance to continue to choose the path of peace and love and joy. --Ruth Fishel

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Journey To The Heart

Honor the Ending

“How was your trip?” a friend asked, as my trip drew to a close.

I thought for a moment, then the answer came easily. “It had its ups and downs,” I said. “There were times I felt exhilarated and sure I was on track. Other days I felt lost. Confused. I’d fall into bed at night certain that this whole trip was a mistake and a waste. But I’d wake up in the morning, something would happen, and I’d see how I’d been guided all along.”

The journey of a year is drawing to a close. Cherish the moments, all of them, even the ups and downs. Cherish the places you’ve visited, the people you’ve seen. Say good-bye to those whose journey have called them someplace else. Know you can always call them back by thinking loving thoughts. Know all those you love will be there for you when you need them most. Honor the lessons you’ve learned, and the people who helped you learn them. Honor the journey your soul mapped out for you. Trust all the places you’ve been. Make a scrapbook in your heart to help you remember.

Look back for a moment. Reflect in peace. Then let this year draw to a close. All parts of the journey are sacred and holy. You’ve learned that by now. Take time to honor this ending– though it’s never really the end. Go to sleep tonight. When you wake up tomorrow, a new adventure will begin.

Remember the words you were told when this last adventure began, the words whispered quietly to your heart: Let the journey unfold. Let it be magical. The way has been prepared. People will be expecting you. Yes, you are being led.

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More Language Of Letting Go

The adventure is in the trip

We were on our way to the drop zone when Chip turned to me.

“Let’s go to San Francisco and see a widgeon.”

“Widgeon?” I said. “Okay. Let’s go.”

“These are the rules,” he said, pulling off the highway and getting back on the exit ramp heading north. “We’ll stop at the house for a minute. But we can’t pack. We can only take with us what we have on us now. We’ll have to trust ourselves to get whatever else we need on the way.”

“Okay,” I said. “You’re on.”

I didn’t know what a widgeon was.

Four hours later, we were walking barefoot on Morro Beach, just south of Big Sur. A big rock, one that looked like the fossil remains of a dinosaur hunched over in the water, beckoned. So did the impending sunset. I still didn’t know what a widgeon was, but I was glad we were searching for one.

“You’d better call Andy,” I said, watching the waves crash against the dinosaur rock. “You guys were supposed to go climbing tomorrow.”

Chip took the cell phone I was handing him.

“I’ve got an idea,” I said. “Tell Andy to get on a plane, fly to San Francisco, wait for us to pick him up, then come with us to find a widgeon.”

Chip called Andy. Thirty-five mintues later, Andy called back. “I’ll be at the United gate at the San Francisco airport at 9:34. See you!” he said.

Chip and I looked at each other. It was 6:34. We were two hundred miles south of San Francisco and had already started traveling the One through Big Sur– a winding two lane highway that climbed high banks, offered a breathtaking view, and needed to be traveled slowly and cautiously.

Half an hour later, we looked at the odometer. We had gone twelve miles.

Chip turned east on a road the suddenly appeared. It was slightly bigger than a one-lane road, winding its way through the mountains that separated us from the interstate and a sixty-five mile per hour limit. He drove like a Daytona master. Forty-five minutes later, we had traveled another twelve miles.

Focus, focus, focus. Focus on the destination, not the journey. Just get there.

At 10:35, one hour past Andy’s arrival time, we pulled up in front of the baggage claim. A six foot, two inch Texas blond guy sat on a bench, reading a book. We honked. He looked up, waved, then lumbered over to the car and slid into the backseat.

“What’s a widgeon?” he said.

The next morning, we set out for Ace Aviation, the home of the widgeon. We didn’t know where it was, but we headed in what we thought was the right direction. Suddenly, Chip pointed to a sign. “Seaplanes!” We pulled off the road, and went in.

“Have you heard of Ace Aviation?” we wasked.

“Yup,” she said.

“Is there a widgeon there?” we asked.

“Yup,” she said.

“Will you tell us where it is?” we asked.

She did.

One hour later, we pulled into the parking lot for Ace Aviation. For the next hour, we fawned over widgeons– amphibious planes with a peculiar yet immediate and undeniable charm. The name painted on one widgeon read, “Da Plane.” It was the seaplane from Fantasy Island.

We found a hot springs motel on the lasr evening of the trip. Sitting in the outdoor hot tub, I found many things remarkable: the almost full moon in the sky, the calming effect of the water, and the toothpaste provided by the hotel. All along the trip, our wishes seemed to magically appear– from a restaurant on a desolate strip of beach, to a restroom in the middle of a forest, to a widgeon in a widgeon hospital.

I’ve said before; I’ll say it again. It’s good to have a destination, but the adventure is in the trip.

Take a moment. Review where you’ve been this past year. Be grateful for all you’ve experienced and the people who have come into your life. Search your heart. Let go of any resentments. Take a moment and reflect on your successes. Be grateful for them; be grateful for all the ordinary moments,too. Take a look at your goal list. Some things have taken place. Other things may not have materialized yet. Don’t give up yet. Let go. Tomorrow, you can make a new list.

God, thank you for this year. Clear my heart so I can start yomorrow with a clean slate.

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New Year's Resolutions: The Two Lists
A Message from DailyOM Co-Founder Scott Blum

I was fortunate to spend time with an enigmatic man named Robert during a very special period of my life. Robert taught me many things during our days together, and this time of year reminds me of one particular interaction we had.

"Now that you are becoming more aware," Robert said, "you need to begin to set goals for yourself so you don't lose the momentum you have built."

"Like New Year's resolutions?" I asked.

"That's an interesting idea," he smirked. "Let's do that."

By then I was used to his cryptic responses, so I knew something was up because of the way his eyes sparkled as he let out an impish laugh.

"Tonight's assignment is to make two lists," Robert continued. "The first is a list of all the New Year's resolutions you WANT to keep, and the second is a list of all the New Year's resolutions you WILL keep. Write the WANT List first, and when you have exhausted all of your ideas, then write the second list on another sheet of paper."

That night I went home and spent several hours working on the two lists. The WANT List felt overwhelming at first, but after a while I got into writing all the things I had always wanted to do if the burdens of life hadn't gotten in the way. After nearly an hour, the list swelled to fill the entire page and contained nearly all of my ideas of an ideal life. The second list was much easier, and I was able to quickly commit ten practical resolutions that I felt would be both realistic and helpful.

The next day, I met Robert in front of the local food Co-op, where we seemed to have most of our enlightening conversations. "Tell me about your two lists," Robert said as the familiar smirk crept onto his face.

"The first list contains all the things I SHOULD do if I completely changed my life to be the person I always wanted to be. And the second list contains all the things I COULD do by accepting my current life, and taking realistic steps towards the life I want to lead."

"Let me see the second list," he said.

I handed him the second list, and without even looking at it, he ripped the paper into tiny pieces and threw it in the nearby garbage can. His disregard for the effort I had put into the list annoyed me at first, but after I calmed down I began to think about the first list in a different light. In my heart, I knew the second list was a cop out, and the first list was the only one that really mattered.

"And now, the first list." Robert bowed his head and held out both of his hands.

I purposefully handed him the first list and held his gaze for several seconds, waiting for him to begin reading the page. After an unusually long silence, he began to crumple the paper into a ball and once again tossed it into the can without looking at it.

"What did you do that for?!" I couldn't hide my anger any longer.

Robert began to speak in a quiet and assured voice. "What you SHOULD or COULD do with your life no longer matters. The only thing that matters, from this day forward, is what you MUST do."

He then drew a folded piece of paper from his back pocket and handed it to me.

I opened it carefully, and found a single word floating in the middle of the white page:

"Love." Published with permission from Daily OM

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A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

God grant me the SERENITY to accept the things I cannot change; COURAGE to change the things I can; and WISDOM to know the difference — living one day at a time; enjoying one moment at a time; accepting hardships as the pathway to peace; taking, as He did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it: Trusting that He will make all things right if I surrender to His will; that I may be reasonably happy in this life and supremely happy with him forever in the next. Amen.

Today I Pray

May I look back at this past year as a good one, in that nothing I did or said was wasted. No experience — however insignificant it may have seemed — was worthless. Hurt gave me the capacity to feel happiness; bad times made me appreciate the good ones; what I regarded was my weaknesses became my greatest strengths. I thank God for a year of growing.

Today I will Remember

Hope is my “balance brought forward” — into a new year’s ledger.

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One More Day

Afflictions are not really a good gift — neither they nor their consequences. However, if afflictions do come, it is well that we convert them into afflictions of love. Herein lies the power of man.
–Chaim Nachman Bialik

All around us we hear cries of “Happy New Year,” and we wonder if this next year is going to be happier than last year was. Carrying the burden of chronic pain or a chronic illness is far more demanding than most people can imagine;. It can overwhelm our days.

We alone have the power to convert that pain, loneliness, and any feelings of guilt into external expressions of ourselves, such as helping others. It’s almost impossible to be completely wound up in ourselves when we are doing for others.

I feel positive thoughts about this New Year. My goal is to reach out to at least one person each day.