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MajestyJo
02-06-2014, 12:51 AM
"This person who offended me, is a sick person. God save me from being angry. I need to avoid retaliation or argument. I wouldn't treat a sick people this way. If I do, I will destroy my chances of being helpful to them. God help me show them the same tolerance, pity, and patience that I would cheerfully grant a sick friend. I cannot be helpful to all people, but at least, God show me how to take a kindly and tolerant view of this person and all else that I feel angry with or hurt. How can I be helpful to this person? Your will be done. Show me my part in this problem and show me if I need to make amends. I know fear and pride are an underlying problem in this situation. Fear somehow touches about every aspect of my relationships. It is an evil and corroding thread. It has set in motion trains of circumstances which brought me misfortune I felt I didn't deserve. But, somehow this fear started with me and my reactions. I know I always want to run the show but now You are my director. I am in the world to play the role You assigned me. Just to the extent that I do as I think You would have me, and humbly rely on You, You will enable me to match calamity with serenity.

Demonstrate, through me what You can do. I ask You to remove my resentment fear and direct my attention to what You would have me be."

Written in November 2012:

It is amazing what a resentment can do, it eats up your soul. I realized earlier that I had a resentment towards a person who has been in my life for a long time, even before I came into recovery. I got a phone message and her voice warned me it might not be good to call her back, but waited 4 hours until I had eaten and rested from going downtown and back.

A friend gave me a book called "Energy Vampire." I forgot how much of a taker she was, and I seldom see her these days. The energy in her home is not good for me. After I talked to her, I did a meditation and my card said, "You have to drop relationships who no longer serve you."

I introduced her to Al-Anon and her hubby to AA, she doesn't go to meetings but reads the literature. Her husband started DRA (Dual Recovery Anonymous) and she has gone to a few meeting there. Then I was upset because I was being judgmental and when I pulled an angel card that said, "You are a Lightworker and you carry the message of Love." Hadn't been very loving in my attitude, so had to do some praying.

They moved from an apartment to their first house. I haven't been to see it, yet there is something within me that just doesn't want to go there. The bus service is not good, but that is no excuse, yet the weather has to be good for me to be mobile. The rain and storm really affected me and I have been through the worst week that I can remember when it comes to pain. I found I was resenting that instead of being accepting. If I don't come from a place of acceptance, it can't change. I know that, and yet there has been a part of me that was resisting.


To heal a resentment we are asked to pray for them. My sponsor suggested that I pray and ask for them, everything that I would like to have for myself. i.e. health, happiness, and prosperity. She also said, "It won't hurt to ask for them to have a spiritual awakening, so they can change and heal for themselves."

A resentment is the #1 reason for relapse, followed closely by guilt.

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