More Recovery Readings - March

[bluidkiti]

March 1

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
The only thing that makes life possible is permanent, intolerable uncertainty: not knowing what comes next. --Ursula LeGuin
The world around us changes constantly. Trees turn from green to beautiful shades of yellow, orange, and brown in the fall. Yet, even if we watched the trees carefully, every minute of the day, we could not actually see the colors change. Change requires time, preparation, and patience.
To make the changes we want, we need to let go of unhealthy but comfortable patterns that we're stuck in, the way the trees let their colors change and finally let go of their leaves altogether. We can't have total change right now, no matter how much we want it. It's important to accept both who we are now and who we are becoming. Just as the tree trusts without question that its leaves will grow and lets go of them when the time comes, we can believe in our own power to grow and let go of our accomplishments when the time is right.
When we do, we can be assured that our lives will blossom again, like trees in the spring coming to life after a cold winter.
Do I have any new blossoms today?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
As my fathers planted/or me, so do I plant for my children. --The Talmud
The first seeds of this spiritual program were planted years ago by men who also were desperately in need. Rather than restrict their attention to their own painful circumstances, they broke through to a new creative idea - it is in helping others that we help ourselves. They reached out eagerly to help fellow men and women in need. In the process they carried the message to others and found new healing relationships for themselves. This program, which is saving our lives, is here because men before us were willing to reach out and pass it along.
We inherit countless resources and teachings from both our biological and our "foster" fathers in this program. The gift of a spiritually full life inspires and requires us to do as they did - pass it on. We keep the benefits of our recovery, not by holding on to them, but by planting new seeds from our harvest for those who come after us.
I will give freely of my time and resources because the giving enriches me.


You are reading from the book The Language Of Letting Go.
Letting Go of Anger
In recovery, we often discuss anger objectively. Yes, we reason, its an emotion were all prone to experience. Yes, the goal in recovery is to be free of resentment and anger. Yes, its okay to feel angry, we agree. Well, maybe. . ..
Anger is a powerful and sometimes frightening emotion. Its also a beneficial one if its not allowed to harden into resentment or used as a battering ram to punish or abuse people.
Anger is a warning signal. It points to problems. Sometimes, it signals problems we need to solve. Sometimes, it points to boundaries we need to set. Sometimes, its the final burst of energy before letting go, or acceptance, settles in.
And, sometimes, anger just is. It doesnt have to be justified. It usually cant be confined to a tidy package. And it need not cause us to stifle our energy or ourselves.
We don't have to feel guilty whenever we expense anger. We dont have to feel guilty.
Breathe deeply. We can shamelessly feel all our feelings, including anger, and still take responsibility for our behaviors.
I will feel and release any angry feelings I have today. I can do that appropriately and safely.


Today I will feel good about myself and accept myself just the way I am. I am open and ready to discover all the miracles of this day. --Ruth Fishel

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Journey to the heart for March

Find Healing and Magic Within Yourself

She was an Osage shaman. Her land, next to Cathedral Rock in Sedona, Arizona, was landscaped with a totem pole, a fire pit, a bridge leading to her house, and a garden of flowers and rocks. A river ran across her property, singing to all who quieted themselves enough to listen. A teepee stood close by, one used to house the sweat lodge ceremonies.

It was during one such ceremony I had met her. I returned later to talk with her for a while. She welcomed me back, welcomed all who visited her to return to her land. She didn’t call it her land, she called it the land. She said it belonged to us all.

“You don’t have to take this journey,” she said. “You don’t have to travel around searching for spiritual spots. All the wisdom, the experiences, the spiritual places you seek on this quest are within you.”

While it’s fun to go on a trip, and trips often coincide with going to new places in our personal lives, we don’t have to load up the car and hit the road to find what we’re looking for. The places of power we seek are within us. Places of comfort, joy, wisdom, silence, healing, peace. The places we visit often reflect those qualities, reinforce them, remind us that they’re there. But the places, the locations we visit, are only mirrors, extensions of ourselves.

The healing and magic we seek are not someplace else. They are within each of us.

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More Language Of Letting Go

Learn to say whatever

“Do you have issues with drama addiction?” I asked my daughter one day, in a serious interviewer kind of voice.

“Of course I do,” she said. “I’m the original drama queen.”

“Can I interview you about it?” I asked.

There was a long pause on the phone. “I’ve got a better suggestion,” she said. “Why don’t you interview yourself?”

I’ve been addicted to many things this lifetime– alcohol, heroin, morphine, Dilaudid, cocaine, barbituates, Valium, and any other substance that physically or psychologically promised to change the way I feel. I’ve been addicted to caffeine, tobacco and nicotine– cigarettes and Cuban cigars– and opium and hashish,too. I’ve been caught up in other people’s addictions to these substances as well. Some people might say I have an addictive personality. I don’t know if I agree with the concept that we can become addicted to people, but if the folks say you can are right. I’ve probably been addicted to certain of those,too.

But of all the addictions possible on this planet, I’ve found my addiction to drama absolutely the hardest to recognize, accept, deal with, and overcome. The rush of emotional energy I feel from drama at the theater, on television (small or big screen), in a book, and most preferably acted out in real life (mine) is the last legal, legitimate jones that society allows.

It’s not politically correct to smoke, act out sexually, be a nonrecovering alcoholic, or shoot drugs. But despite all the evolution in consciousness that’s unfolded and gotten us to this point, drama addiction is more than politically correct.

Drama addiction is in. Right now, for many people, it’s one of the only things giving meaning to life.

Potential guests line up, volunteering to have their relationship and court battles– things which once were guarded secrets– broadcast on international cable and satellite TV. Our society can’t wait to peek and snoop into their lives. Broadcasting real-life soap operas guarantees the ratings will soar.

In 1999, I wrote the above words in a chapter on drama addiction in my book called Playing It By Heart. But the concept of drama addiction, and transcending it, has been around for a long, long time.

In 1937, author Emmet Fox wrote an essay in Find and Use Your Inner Power. The essay’s title was “Don’t Be a Tragedy Queen.”

“Self pity, by making us feel sorry for ourselves, seems to provide an escape from responsibility, but it is a fatal drug nevertheless,” he wrote. “It confuses the feelings, blinds the reason, and puts us at the mercy of outer conditions. … Don’t be a tragedy queen– whether you are a man or a woman, for it is not a question of gender but of mental outlook. Absolutely repudiate a crown of martyrdom. If you cannot laugh at yourself (which is the best medicine of all), at least try to handle the difficulty in an objective way, as though it concerned somebody else.”

Maybe the antithesis to being a drama king or queen has been around even longer than that.

Three tiny Buddha statues sit before me on my writing desk. One is Serene. One is Smiling. One is Sorrowful, doubled over in compassion for the world. All you can see is the top of his head.

“The Kingdom of Heaven is within you,” Jesus said.

“Nirvana is a state of consciousness,” wrote Anne Bancroft, in an introduction to the Dhammapada, a book containing the teachings of Buddha.

Enlightenment and paradise aren’t places we visit. They’re within our hearts and heads.

Say, “It’s a nightmare,” if you must. Even say, “Oh my God, I can’t believe this is happening, much less happening to me.” But whether you say the words with calmness and serenity, bursting with laughter or a mere giggle, or doubled over with compassion for the pain of the world, learning to speak the language of letting go in the days, months, and years of the millennium ahead means learning to say whatever,too.

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Decorating Life
The World as Home

by Madisyn Taylor

Each day we choose to decorate our life just as we do our homes.


There are few things more thrilling than having a new house or an empty room to decorate. Our imaginations soar as we consider the many possibilities. In the same way, our lives offer us the opportunity to express ourselves within various contexts, to ask ourselves questions about what we want to see as we move through our days and how we want things to flow. Some people do this instinctively, moving through the various environments they inhabit and shifting the energy with their presence. These people have a knack for decorating life. This can be as simple as the way they dress, the way they speak, or the fact that they always bring a bouquet of wildflowers when they come for a visit.

As we move through the world, we make a statement, whether we intend to or not. We shift the energy one way when we enter a room dressed elegantly and simply, and another when we show up in bright, cheerful colors and a floppy hat. One is not better than the other. It is simply a question of the mood we wish to create. What we wear is just one choice we can focus on. The way we speak to people, or touch them, shifts the energy more profoundly than almost anything else. The words we speak and the tone in which we say them are the music we choose to play in the world that is our home. Some of us fill the space with passionate arias, others with healing hymns. Again, one is not better than the other. We are all called to contribute.

Just as we consciously create an environment within our homes, we can consciously choose to decorate life itself with our particular energy. Ideally, in doing so, we express our deeper selves, so that the adornments we add to the world make it more meaningful, more beautiful, and as welcoming as a beloved home. Published with permission from Daily OM

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A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

Now that we’re free and no longer chemically-dependent, we have so much more control over our thinking. More than anything, we’re able to alter our attitudes. Some members of Alcoholics Anonymous, in fact, choose to think of the letters AA as an abbreviation for “Altered Attitudes.” In the bad old days, I almost always responded to any optimistic or positive statement with “Yes, but…” Today, in contrast, I’m learning to eliminate that negative phrase from my vocabulary. Am I working to change my attitude? Am I determined to “accentuate the positive…”?

Today I Pray

May I find that healing and strength which God provides to those who stay near Him. May I keep to the spiritual guidelines of The Program. Considering the Steps, taking the Steps — one by one — then practicing them again and again. In this is my salvation.

Today I Will Remember

To practice at least one Step.

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One More Day

There is no way to peace. Peace is the way.
– A. J. Muste

So often we look for the easy answers and quick remedies. We want to reach our goals — now. Whatever we’re looking for (peace, love, acceptance) we may be making the mistake of seeing these qualities as concrete, hold-in-my-hand goals.

Gradually, we’re coming to the understanding that those qualities we seek are not destinations; they are paths and directions; we can consiously take. We can’t go out and find love, but we can choose to be loving. There is no path to peace or to acceptance or to understanding, but we can base our lives on these qualities, and by doing so we claim them.

What I seek may already be within my soul.

[bluidkiti]

March 2

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
I was angry with my friend: I told my wrath, my wrath did end. I was angry with my foe: I told it not, my wrath did grow.
--William Blake
We have a right to claim our own feelings. Sometimes we get angry, but hold it inside because we think it's wrong to feel it. If anger builds inside us, it expands like a balloon ready to burst. If not released, it can make us depressed, or even physically ill. When we give ourselves permission to feel anger, we are better able to get rid of it in a healthy way. Our inner voice can tell us how to let go of our anger. And once we've released it, we can easily get in touch with the feelings that caused it.
When we recognize our anger for what it is--one feeling among many others that makes us unique--it loses its significance, and we can prevent it from consuming us. Indira Ghandi said, "You cannot shake hands with a clenched fist." When we let go of our anger we can honestly embrace each other with open arms.
Am I carrying around anger which could be released today?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
The fir tree has no choice about starting its life in the crack of a rock.... What [nourishment] it finds is often meager, and above the ground appears a twisted trunk, grown in irregular spurts, marred by dead and broken branches, and bent far to one side by the battering winds. Yet at the top ... some twigs hold their green needles year after year, giving proof that - misshapen, imperfect, scarred - the tree lives. --Harriet Arrow
We often wish we had been born into better circumstances or blame our parents for our problems. Like the fir tree we could say, "If only I had taken sprout in a fertile meadow, life would be easier." "If only I had had a better life as a boy . . ." "If only I didn't have my particular hardships . . ."
By accepting the facts of our own lives, we mature into feelings of joy and pleasure alongside our griefs. Every man has to struggle with his own unique set of circumstances, even if they are not fair. Fairness is not an issue. Reality is what we have to deal with.
I will accept life on its own terms and rejoice in it.


You are reading from the book The Language Of Letting Go.
Feelings on the Job
Im furious about my job. Another man got a promotion that I believe I deserve. Im so mad I feel like quitting. Now my wife says I should deal with my feelings. What good will that does? He still got the promotion. --Anonymous
Our feelings at work are as important as our feelings in any other area of our life. Feelings are feelings - and wherever we incur them, dealing with them is what helps us move forward and grow.
Not acknowledging our feelings is what keeps us stuck and gives us stomachaches, headaches, and heartburn.
Yes, it can be a challenge to deal with feelings on the job. Sometimes, things can appear useless. One of our favorite tricks to avoid dealing with feelings is telling ourselves its useless.
We want to give careful consideration to how we deal with our feelings on our job. It may be appropriate to take our intense feelings to someone not connected to our workplace and sort through them in a safe way.
Once we've experienced the intensity of the feelings, we can figure out what we need to do to take care of ourselves on the job.
Sometimes, as in any area of our life, feelings are to be felt and accepted. Sometimes, they are pointing to a problem in us, or a problem we need to resolve with someone else.
Sometimes, our feelings are helping to point us in a direction. Sometimes, they're connected to a message, or a fear: Ill never be successful. . .. Ill never get what I want. . .. Im not good enough. . . .
Sometimes, the solution is a spiritual approach or remedy. Remember, whenever we bring a spiritual approach to any area of our life, we get the benefit.
We wont know what the lesson is until we summon the courage to stand still and deal with our feelings.
Today, I will consider my feelings at work as important as my feelings at home or anywhere else. I will find an appropriate way to deal with them.


Today I am letting go of all energy that is resisting the truth about me. That energy is being replaced with positive and loving energy, and I am accepting that I am okay just the way that I am. I am now open to see the miracle of love in my life. --Ruth Fishel

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Journey to the Heart

Value Your Past

Value your past and all the lessons you have learned.

How easy it is to diminish the importance of our past and look on our history with a critical eye. We see the mistakes, we see what we think we should have known, we see what we could have done better. What we forget is that the reason we are able to see so clearly is because of the past and because of what we have learned. Often, it is the very experiences we regret that have created this clear vision.

Value what you’ve learned in your past. Each lesson has led to the next. Every person and event in each part of your life has been invaluable in shaping and forming you– in creating the person you are today. Each part of your past, each person who has come into your life and shared experiences with you has helped you to open your heart more to life, love, God, others, and yourself. Even those experiences you think of as wrong, or mistakes, have been an important and necessary part in creating you. Sometimes, those experiences formed the most important parts of you because they created in you compassion and understanding for others. Often the most painful events of your life are the ones that opened you to your ability to bring healing, help, and hope to others. Your past taught you to love– others and yourself. It has helped you become a channel for Divine love and a force for good in this world.

When you look back at your past, look tenderly and gently at all you have been through. Look with the eyes of the soul. See that each experience was necessary to bring you home to your heart.

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More Language Of Letting Go

Don’t stir the emotional pot

“My bill collector called today,” a friend said to me one day. “I love it when she calls. Every time she does, we have a good fight. She tells me that I owe her company money. Then I say I know. She tells me that my balance is due. I tell her I know that,too. Then she asks why I haven’t sent a payment. I tell her that the reason I didn’t send a payment is because I told her last month I could send only twenty dollars a month and she said not to send it, because that wasn’t enough. That’s when the screaming starts. Then she yells at me to get a job. I scream back that I’m trying and she ought to get a better job herself. Then we both slam down the phone and don’t talk to each other until she calls again next month.”

Some of us intentionally stir up drama to release emotions, get the pot brewing, and add a little energy to our lives. Sometimes we can cause trouble in areas where we’d be better off without it. Turning our home into a battleground doesn’t leave us a good place to live.

Sometimes when we’re stressed, we just like to get those emotions out. And what better way to get them out than by engaging in a good, old-fashioned fight. Just make sure you’re not making an enemy out of someone whom you’d rather have as a friend. And check to see that you’re not taking your stress out on an innocent bystander, a lover, family, or friend.

God, help me let go of my need for dysfunctional drama in my life. Help me make sure I’m not taking my stress out on the people I love. If I am, show me another way to release my emotions.

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That Which Sustains You
Home and Land Meditation

Just as we take care of our friends and families, our homes and Mother Earth take care of us. Our homes give us a place of refuge—a sanctuary that stands between us and the elements of nature and the rest of the world. The earth is an unselfish giver of life and the steward of our physical and spiritual needs. The earth’s bountiful plant life nourishes us, gives us air, and offers us cooling shade. Her waters quench our thirst, and her beauty stirs our souls. Yet it is easy to take both of these wonderful sources of our blessings for granted. Expressing the gratitude you feel toward your home and the earth for the blessings each provides you can help you stay conscious of where many of the gifts in your life come from. Each time you give thanks, you’ll be reminded of the importance of caring for your home and for Mother Earth. There is a simple and beautiful meditation you can perform to show your gratitude. Begin by finding a quiet place where you can be alone. Sit comforta! bly and breathe deeply until you feel relaxed and then read the following out loud:

"Thank you, home, for allowing me to live within your walls. Thank you for giving me shelter, warmth, and security. Thank you for allowing me to live my life in your womb, for staying strong and sturdy, for supporting me, and for your beauty.

Thank you, earth, for the land that I live on and for allowing me to steward life with you. Thank you for allowing me to walk upon your soil, cultivate you, and live in partnership with you. Thank you for supporting my home and my family.

Thank you, plants, minerals, and animals that dwell on the land that I steward. Thank you for allowing me to experience your beauty, share in your wonderment of life, and for the honor of living with all of you on this earth. Thank you for the wisdom and joy you bring to humanity.

I honor you."

You can perform this meditation as often as you like and anytime you feel particularly thankful for the many blessings that you have received. Each time you do, you’ll reaffirm and strengthen your connection with all that protects, supports, and sustains you. Published with permission from Daily OM

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A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

Why don’t I spend part of today thinking about my assets, rather than my liabilities? Why not think about victories, instead of defeats — about the ways in which I am gentle and kind? It’s always been my tendency to fall into a sort of cynical self-hypnosis, putting derogatory labels on practically everything I’ve done, said or felt. Just for today, I’ll spend a quiet half hour trying to gain a more positive perspective on my life. Do I have the courage to change the things I can?

Today I Pray

Through quietness and a reassessment of myself, may I develop a more positive attitude. If I am a child of God, created in His image, there must be goodness in me. I will think about that goodness, and the ways it manifest itself. I will stop putting myself down, even in my secret thoughts. I will respect what is God’s. I will respect myself.

Today I Will Remember

Self-Respect is Respect For God.

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One More Day

Bitterness and anger seem to be very closely related and are interchangeable words for the same emotion.
– Robert Lovering

Why me? We may rage with anger or disbelief when we finally realize we may never fully regain good health. In the beginning, while we are still getting used to our new situation, this happens to most of us. And then we ask, “Why me?”

Having a chronic medical condition is not as likely to create bitterness as much as making poor choices about how to respond to it. If we choose loneliness or a lifestyle which allows no room for laughter, we choose bitterness.

By making healthier choices, we affirm our belief in ourselves, in the possibilities life has to offer. We feel more loving toward the people around us and in doing so, are more loving toward ourselves.

I can learn to balance my negative feelings with contentment and happiness. I can gain strength from my illness.

[bluidkiti]

March 3

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
Nothing is troublesome that we do willingly. --Thomas Jefferson
Some of the necessary things we do are tiring and annoying. Many of these things we must do regardless of how we feel about them. Doing dishes day after day can be a tiresome job but, no matter how much we hate it, it must be done sooner or later. We might discover, if we look hard enough, how chores like this can actually be enjoyable, if we do them right. Perhaps dish washing is a time for listening to music and singing along, or an opportunity for conversation between family members as we help one another.
Our willingness to look for the hidden treasure and opportunities in tasks we might otherwise consider dreary will never fail to reward us.
What opportunity can I see in my next chore?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
"Why are you rushing so much?" asked the rabbi. "I'm rushing after my livelihood," the man answered.
"And how do you know," said the rabbi, "that your livelihood is running on before you, so that you have to rush after it? Perhaps it's behind you, and all you need to do is stand still." --Tale about Rabbi Ben Meir of Berdichev
Most of us accept the standard ideas we were taught. "Men should be good providers." "We will get self-esteem from hard work." "It is a virtue to be productive." "It's better now to have too much time to think."
A major crisis can quickly change our perspective. Perhaps someone close to us dies, and we are faced with how temporary life is. Or we have a health crisis, or a relationship crisis, or an addiction crisis. The standard ideas come crashing down. We look closely at the rush of our lives and ask deeper questions: Are we hurrying to a worthwhile goal? Or are we losing out in our great rush? These doubts can teach us personal things that society can never teach us. Wisdom comes out of pain and the willingness to learn from it.
Today, I will allow some time to stand still and reflect.


You are reading from the book The Language Of Letting Go.
Accepting Ourselves
While driving one day, a woman's attention focused on the license plate of the car ahead. The license read: "B-WHO-UR." How can I? she thought. I don't know who I am!
Some of us may have felt confused when people encouraged us to be ourselves. How could we know ourselves, or be who we are, when, for years, many of us submerged ourselves in the need of others?
We do have a self. We're discovering more about ourselves daily. We're learning we're deserving of love.
We're learning to accept ourselves, as we are for the present moment--to accept our feelings, thoughts, flaws, wants, needs, and desires. If our thoughts or feelings are confused, we accept that too.
To be who we are means we accept our past--our history--exactly as is.
To be ourselves means we are entitled to our opinions and beliefs--for the present moment and subject to change. We accept our limitations and our strengths.
To be who we are means we accept our physical selves, as well as our mental, emotional, and spiritual selves, for now. Being who we are in recovery means we take that acceptance one step further. We can appreciate ourselves and our history.
Being who we are, loving and accepting ourselves, is not a limiting attitude. Accepting and loving ourselves is how we enable growth and change.
Today, I will be who I am. If I'm not yet certain who I am, I will affirm that I have a right to that exciting discovery,


Today I am open to all the powers of the universe. I am letting them work for me and carry me to my next step...JOY! --Ruth Fishel

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Journey to the Heart

Treasure Your Experiences

Gather experiences. Treat them as precious jewels.

The purpose of the journey is not to guard and restrain yourself. The purpose is to learn. You do not teach and lead your soul. Your soul leads and teaches you. It takes you wading across streams, strolling through meadows, deep into valleys, and high onto mountaintops. It takes you down winding, narrow roads and long fast-moving four-lane highways. It takes you into tiny cafes, bustling cities, and out-of-the-way hostels where people break bread and tell what they have learned.

Let yourself have all your experiences. Don’t limit or judge yourself or the adventure you have had. All were necessary, all were important, all have helped shape and form you. Your heart will lead you, guide you where you are to go. Don’t worry about getting lost or off track. Don’t worry about being wrong, or in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Gather experiences. Go through them. Select the gems from each. Listen while others tell their stories, their adventures, and show you their jewels, the triths that they have learned. Then, when your friends break and sip soup with others, open your heart and joyfully share what has happened to you along the way.

Having experiences is called living. Sharing experiences is called loving. Let yourself enjoy both.

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More Language Of Letting Go

Don’t take storms personally

Somewhere out in the Pacific, a storm brewed and swirled and thrashed and died without ever touching the land. Three days later, under a clear blue sky, the storm surge reached the California coast near Los Angeles. The sea threw rocks at my house, and the waves stacked up and crashed down against the pilings of the foundation. Farther up the street, the ocean ate the back porch of two houses. All night the shoreline trembled and shook from the power of the sea.

The next morning the tide pulled back, the swells calmed, and the sky stayed blue. I walked down the beach, impressed at the way the ocean had littered it with huge chunks of driftwood and rocks. Then I walked back upstairs and drank my morning coffee.

Sometimes, storms aren’t about us.

Sometimes, friends or loved ones will attack us for no apparent reason. They’ll fuss, fume, and snap at us. When we ask them why, they’ll say, “Oh, I’m sorry. I had a bad day at work.”

But we still feel hurt and upset.

Hold people accountable for their behavior. Don’t let people treat you badly. But don’t take the storms in their lives personally. These storms may have nothing to do with you.

Seek shelter if necessary. Get away from curt friends until they have time to calm down; then approach when it’s safe. If the storm isn’t about you, there’s nothing you need to do. Would you stop the ocean waves by standing in the surf with your arms outstetched?

Say whatever. Let the storms blow through.

God, help me not to take the storms in the lives of my friends and loved ones too personally.

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Quiet Please!
Taming Monkey Mind In Meditation

It’s been called the monkey mind – the endless chattering in your head as you jump in your mind from thought to thought while you daydream, analyze your relationships, or worry over the future. Eventually, you start to feel like your thoughts are spinning in circles and you’re left totally confused.

One way to tame this wild creature in your head is through meditation – although the paradox is that when you clear your mind for meditation you actually invite the monkey in your mind to play. This is when you are given the opportunity to tame this mental beast by moving beyond thought – to become aware of a thought rather than thinking a thought. The difference is subtle, but significant. When you are aware of your thoughts, you can let your thoughts rise and float away without letting them pull you in different directions. Being able to concentrate is one of the tools that allows you to slow down your thought process and focus on observing your thoughts.

To develop your concentration, you may want to start by focusing on the breath while you meditate. Whenever your monkey mind starts acting up, observe your thoughts and then return your focus to your breath. Some breathing meditations call on you to focus on the rise and fall of the breath through the abdomen, while others have you concentrate on the sound of the breath. Fire can also be mesmerizing, and focusing on a candle flame is another useful tool for harnessing the mind. Keep the gaze soft and unfocused while observing the color, shape, and movement of the flame, and try not to blink. Close your eyes when you feel the need and continue watching the flame in your head. Chanting, devotional singing, and mantras also still the mind. However you choose to tame the monkey mind, do so with firm kindness. The next time the chattering arises, notice it and then allow it to go away. With practice, your monkey mind will become quiet and so will you. Published with permission from Daily OM

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A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

I’ve begun to better understand myself since I’ve come to The Program. One of the most important things I’ve learned is that opinions aren’t facts. Just because I feel that a thing is so doesn’t necessarily make it so. “Men are not worried by things,” wrote the Greek philosopher Epictetus, “but by their ideas about things. When we meet with difficulties, become anxious or troubled, let us not blame others, but rather ourselves. That is: our ideas about things.” Do I believe that I can never entirely lose what I have learned during my recovery?

Today I Pray

May I learn to sort out realities from my ideas about those realities. May I understand that situations, things, — even people — take on the colors and dimensions of my attitudes about them.

Today I Will Remember

To sort the real from the unreal.

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One More Day

People, by and large, will relate to the image you project …. If you project the image of a sick, dependent person, that’s how you’ll be treated.
– Chyatte

Accepting chronic illness is not easy. Our whole lives are different. We can’t do all the things we used to do. We may feel changed and be afraid of the changes our illnesses will bring. But as we learn to project a strong, positive image, we feel better about ourselves.

For the benefit of ourselves, we must act as if we are doing all right. When we act as if we are strong, our new behavior can become a new habit, and that habit can actually develop greater emotional strength within us. We can put illness into perspective as being just one of the changes that occur during a lifetime.

Today, I will allow myself the right to change. I can survive my health change and live a worthwhile life.

[bluidkiti]

March 4

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
I celebrate myself, and sing myself, and what I assume, you shall assume. --Walt Whitman
Some of us may think Walt Whitman must have been terribly conceited to have written words like that. But he wasn't. He knew himself well, and accepted himself, even his darker side. He could laugh at himself and celebrate his humanness.
And because he loved and accepted himself just as he was, others could do the same. That's difficult to understand sometimes, but it's true: no one else is going to love and accept us until we come to love and accept ourselves.
We teach others how to treat us by the way we treat ourselves, so perhaps it makes sense to apply a variation of the Golden Rule: "Do unto ourselves as we would have others do unto us."
Can I allow my kindness to myself overflow to another person today?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
Heaven ne'er helps the men who will not act. --Sophocles
Growing into masculine wholeness is a journey into greater responsibility for our lives. We have choices to make every day. Taking responsibility means choosing between the options we have and then accepting the consequences. Sometimes both choices are undesirable, but we have to choose anyway. Do I expect to be perfect in my choices? Do I demand that someone else take responsibility for me? Do I defiantly refuse to accept the options I have?
This program seems like a paradox- the First Step asks us to accept our powerlessness, then we are expected to go on and stop being passive in our lives. The Serenity Prayer speaks to us about this dilemma. We ask for the serenity to accept what we cannot change and the courage to change what we can. Fully admitting our powerlessness sheds a burden and frees us to go on from there, actively doing what we can.
If something is awaiting my action today, may I have the courage to move forward with it. Even small movement is progress.


You are reading from the book The Language Of Letting Go.
Higher Power as a Source
I've learned I can take care of myself, and what I cant do, God will do for me. --Al Anon member
God, a Higher Power as we understand Him, is our source of guidance and positive change. This doesn't mean were not responsible for ourselves. We are. But we aren't in this alone.
Recovery is not a do it yourself project. We don't have to become overly concerned about changing ourselves. We can do our part, relax, and trust that the changes well experience will be right for us.
Recovery means we don't have to look to other people as our source to meet our needs. They can help us, but they are not the source.
As we learn to trust the recovery process, we start to understand that a relationship with our Higher Power is no substitute for relationships with people. We don't need to hide behind religious beliefs or use our relationship with a Higher Power as an excuse to stop taking responsibility for ourselves and taking care of ourselves in relationships. But we can tap into and trust a Power greater than ourselves for the energy, wisdom, and guidance to do that.
Today, I will look to my Higher Power as a source for all my needs, including the changes I want to make in my recovery.
I will not forget that every moment of every day I can be God-centered and joyous. The goal I'm striving toward will carry with it a special gift; it will offer the growing person within me an extra thrill, if I've attended to the journey as much as its end.


Today I will stop and ask, "How important is it?" When I find myself defending or trying to prove my point, I am in the process of learning to trust my own truth. When it feels right inside, I am seeing that is all that I need. --Ruth Fishel

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Journey to the Heart

One Step at a Time

One step at a time. That’s all you can take, That’s all you have to take,

Yes, you have visions you’ve created of where you want to go. But you don’t get there in one leap. You get there one step at a time. That’s how you receive your guidance. That’s how you respond to the guidance you’ve received.

Let your faith be strong. Your faith will keep you going through those moments in between steps. When your faith is strong, you don’t look in fear at the journey ahead, wondering if you will get all the guidance you need, or if you will get to where you’re going. You know you will, so take the simple steps, one at a time, that lie ahead. You take them in joy, because you know you’re being guided. You have faith that the simple steps you are led to do will take you to your destination.

One step at a time. That’s how you will get where you are going. You are being led, each step of the way.

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More Language Of Letting Go

Allow for differences

He’s rational. He wants examples of the problem and wants to focus on and find a solution.

She wants to talk about how she feels.

He wants to sit in front of the television and click the remote control.

She wants to cuddle on the couch and look into his eyes.

He deals with his stress by playing basketball with his friends, tinkering with the car or going for a hike.

She wants to go to a movie, preferably one that makes her cry.

I spent much of my life thinking that men and women– and generally all people– should just be the same. It took me a long time to realize that while we have much in common with other people, we’re each unique.

It took me even longer to realize that the practical application of this meant I had to learn to allow for differences between the people I loved and myself.

Just because we have something in common with someone, and might even think we’re in love, doesn’t mean that each person is going to respond and be the same.

So often in our relationships, we try to get the other person to behave the way we want. This forcing of our will on them will ultimately become a great strain. It can also block love. When we’re trying to change someone else, we overlook his or her gifts. We don’t value the parts of the person that are different from us, because we’re too busy trying to change the person into someone else.

Allow for differences, but don’t just allow. Appreciate the differences. Value what each person has to offer and the gifts each person can bring.

Learn to say whatever, with a spark of amusement and curiosity, when someone isn’t the same as you. Try getting a kick out of the unique way each person approaches life.

God, help me understand the rich gifts that letting go of control will bring to my life.

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The Energy of an Embrace
Hugs

The need to touch and be touched is established early in our lives, as we develop and grow in the omnipresent embrace of our mother’s womb. Once we are born, separated from that sanctuary of connectivity, we begin to crave the physical embrace of our parents. As we age, we become more independent. Yet during times of triumph or trouble and during those moments when we are in need of reassurance, we can’t help but long for a hug.

Because a hug requires two active participants, each individual taking part in the embrace experiences the pleasure of being embraced and the joy that comes from hugging someone. As both individuals wrap their arms around one another, their energy blends together, and they experience a tangible feeling of togetherness that lingers long after physical contact has been broken. A heart hug is when you put your left arm over someone’s shoulder and your right arm around their waist. As they do the same to you, your hearts become aligned with one another other and loving, comforting energy flows between the two of you to flood your souls with feelings of love, caring, and compassion.

A hug is a pleasurable way to share your feelings with someone who is important to you. Depending on your relationship with the other person and the kind of message you wish to send to them, a hug can communicate love, friendship, romance, congratulations, support, greeting, and any other sentiment you wish to convey. A hug communicates to others that you are there for them in a positive way. In an instant, a hug can reestablish a bond between long lost friends and comfort those in pain. The next time you hug someone, focus all of your energy into the embrace. You will create a profound connection that infuses your feelings and sentiments into a single beautiful gesture. Published with permission from Daily OM

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A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

We may not know any specifics about the activities of today; we may not know whether we’ll be alone or with others. We may feel the day contains too much time — or not enough. We may be facing tasks we’re eager to complete, or tasks we’ve been resisting. Though the details of each person’s day differ, each person’s day does hold one similarity: We each have the opportunity to choose to thing positive thoughts. The choice depends less on our outside activities than on our inner commitment. Can I accept that I alone have the power to control my attitude?

Today I Pray

May I keep the fire of inner commitment alive through this whole, glorious day, whether my activities are a succession of workaday tasks or free-form and creative. May I choose to make this a good day for me, and for those around me.

Today I Will Remember

Keep the commitment.

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One More Day

Whatever limits us, we call fate.
– Ralph Waldo Emerson

We like to plan ahead, but w cannot plan for the ravages of chronic illness. No one expects to travel down the winding road of an unhidden, unwanted trip. Unused to the whims of a chronic illness, we may at first try to chart, plan, and control its course. We may dwell too much on the medical conditions.

We cannot change the course of illness, but we can influence its twists and turns by keeping a positive frame of mind. Rather than being obsessed with how our medical conditions are affecting us, we can focus on the many things we can still do. Can we enjoy a sunset? Watch a child smile? Can we listen to music or pursue a handcraft? Our angry, dour thoughts can be replaced so easily with pleasant dreams, fond memories, and hope for the future.

I am feeling comfortable once again as I finally realize that I can still make choices in how I want to live my life.

[bluidkiti]

March 5

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
The farmer may only be planting a seed, but if he opens his eyes he is feeding the whole world. --Omaha Bee
A traveler journeying through a small village came upon some workers building an impressive structure. "What are you doing?" he asked. The first worker, a young, impatient man, replied in disgust, "I am making three dollars an hour and I'm getting very tired!" The visitor asked another man the same question. "I'm mixing concrete, as you can plainly see," came the sarcastic reply. Finally, a woman working nearby left her wheelbarrow full of bricks and approached the stranger. "We are building a hospital," she said with pride. "Now we will be able to care for all the region's people. Babies will be born here. Lives will be saved."
The stranger looked at the woman with admiration and spoke directly to her. "I know, for this is my hospital. Only you hold the vision of what it is you are creating." The wealthy benefactor then put the woman in charge of construction so his hospital would be built by one who truly understood.
Will I see the importance of even the small things I do today?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
If not for the beast within us we would be castrated angels. --Hermann Hesse
Let's not confuse the surrender, humility, and serenity of this program with the perfection of angels. Today we are more alive because we are no longer destroying ourselves, or numbing ourselves, or shaming ourselves. We are men with the strength we need to meet the problems and excitements of the day. We may also get ourselves into trouble by our shortsightedness or mistaken ideas. That is why we need to continue to take inventory of ourselves and continue to be accountable.
We are on a spiritual path that leads toward fuller manhood. We accept the beast within. More than that, we like him and take pleasure in him. He has the same source as our spiritual strength. As we get better acquainted with him, he brings a sense of awe and mystery about the untamed parts of ourselves. He instills us with zest and vitality that we release as explosions of energy and power. He is in the music we love and in our dancing. He comes out in our daydreams and night dreams - in our labor and sweat. And he is in our trickery and humor.
I am filled with gratitude for the beast within.


You are reading from the book The Language Of Letting Go.
Be Who You Are
When I meet people or get in a new relationship, I start putting all these repressive restrictions on myself. I cant have my feelings. Cant have my wants and needs. Cant have my history. Cant do the things I want, feel the feelings Im feeling, or say what I need to say. I turn into this repressed, perfectionistic robot, instead of being who I am: Me. --Anonymous
Sometimes, our instinctive reaction to being in a new situation is: Don't be yourself.
Who else can we be? Who else would you want to be? We don't need to be anyone else.
The greatest gift we can bring to any relationship wherever we go is being who we are.
We may think others wont like us. We may be afraid that if we just relax and be ourselves, the other person will go away or shame us. We may worry about what the other person will think.
But, when we relax and accept ourselves, people often feel much better being around us than when we are rigid and repressed. Were fun to be around.
If others don't appreciate us, do we really want to be around them? Do we need to let the opinions of others control our behavior and us?
Giving ourselves permission to be who we are can have a healing influence on our relationships. The tone relaxes. We relax. The other person relaxes. Then everybody feels a little less shame, because they have learned the truth. Who we are is all we can be, all were meant to be, and its enough. Its fine.
Our opinion of ourselves is truly all that matters. And we can give ourselves all the approval we want and need.
Today, I will relax and be who I am in my relationships. I will do this not in a demeaning or inappropriate way, but in a way that shows I accept myself and value who I am. Help me, God, let go of my fears about being myself.


Today I will accept what I have and what I am and what I see in this moment. I will be fully alive in this moment and feel the joy of knowing that it is all that there is right now. --Ruth Fishel

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Journey to the Heart

Operate from Desire, Not Will

There are times when we need to force ourselves to put one foot in front of the other and do what needs to be done. But when we operate that way for too long, we can be separated from our heart, separated from our desres, instincts, and healthy inclinations. Separated from that part of us that lives and loves naturally. Separated from joy.

After years of grieving the loss of my son, I needed to come back to life. To do that, I had to force myself through the motions of living, those acts that I knew would create a good life for myself and my daughter. I was operating from sheer will, and that will was struggling hard to overcome the desire to give up. After a time of doing that though, I noticed that forcing myself forward had come habitual. Somewhere along the journey, I had forgotten about relaxing, trusting my heart, trusting my desires to carry me through. I became tired. Tired of forcing myself. Tired of pushing through.

I realized something else. It was safe to let go of willing my way through life. I had climbed the mountain. I was over the top. I was coming alive again. I had survived the toughest time. It was okay to relax and trust the guidance and desires of my heart. It was safe to relax and enjoy life again, to celebrate being alive.

If you’ve been operating from will, that was probably what you needed to do at that point in your life. It helped you survive, learn the lessons, get to the place you are now. But it no longer fits, not on a journey of joy. Not on the journey to the heart.

Let desire and inclination replace will. Let your heart and soul lead you forward. Then trust that they will, and trust where they lead. Let living from your heart’s desires reconnect you to joy.

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More Language Of Letting Go

Don’t let anger run your life

Cheryl’s husband was a tyrant. His anger controlled most of her moves. He didn’t get angry often, but when he did, he exploded in a rage. He broke things; he carried on. His rage terrified her.

“I’ve never done well with anger,” Cheryl said, “either my own, or someone else’s. I spent my childhood walking on eggshells, trying not to annoy my dad. Then I married a man whom I allowed to completely control me by the mere threat of his rage.”

Whether we call them rageholics, tyrants, or bullies, a lot of people in our world get their way by being mean. We may find ourselves instinctively walking on eggshells around these people, praying to God we don’t set them off.

Anger is a powerful emotion. But we don’t have to let anybody else’s rage take control of our lives. If somebody you know or love is a bully or a tyrant, don’t take it on yourself. Stop walking on eggshells and letting their rage control your every step. Instead of taking on their problem, try something different. Give their problem with being a bully back to them.

How do you deal with anger? Does somebody in your life use anger as a way of controlling you? It may be time to let go of your fear of setting off people.

If you are in a dangerous situation, then by all means, get out. If you are just allowing yourself to be controlled by the fear of an emotional outburst, then learn to say whatever when someone spouts off.

God, please don’t let anyone’s anger, including my own, be the master of my life.

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Positivity Revisited
Keeping a Diary with Purpose

by Madisyn Taylor

A diary that is kept for a specific purpose can be a great way to focus on a specific issue that you want to work through.


A diary can play many roles. It can be a confidant, a vehicle of self expression, a tool that facilitates clarity of thought, or a repository of dreams. A diary can also be a powerful source of comfort during challenging or traumatic periods. When you record those insights and incidents that clearly demonstrate you are on the right track, you can return to your words days, weeks, or months later and find uniquely soothing reassurance. A diary with a specific purpose can be a good tool for keeping track of experiences before the passage of time can skew your perception of events. It reflects the immediacy of your life and thus provides you with a landmark to return to when you begin to doubt yourself. If doubt does arise, simply open your diary to reaffirm your experiences. The confidence, surety, passion, and bravery you felt in a single moment is preserved, giving you a means to recapture those feelings in any place, at any time.

Your diary serves as a repository of personalized encouragement. Since a diary is, by its very nature, as individual as you are, you should give some thought to the type of diary that will serve you best. A synchronicity-and-connections diary might describe those instances where seemingly random occurrences came together in a meaningful way, propelling you forward. Or you may find strength in the pages of a pride diary that makes note not only of those times you felt proud of yourself but also precisely why you were pleased with your efforts. And a cause-and-effect diary can help you become more decisive by reminding you of all the wise, life-affirming choices you have made. Your diary should be small enough to be readily portable and on hand whenever possible because the faster you put your thoughts down on paper, the more authentic your declarations are apt to be.

Regardless of the type of focused diary you choose to keep, your recollections will create a positive feedback loop that helps you cope with doubt in a constructive way. Reading through your diary when life seems uncertain can show you that your misgivings are unfounded. As you draw consolation from your uplifting words, you will know without a doubt that you are indeed living your purpose and following the path that you committed to before birth. Published with permission from Daily OM

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A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

Before I became sober in The Program, I blamed all my problems on other people, or on places and things. Now I’m learning to look squarely at each difficulty, not seeking whom to “blame,” but to discover how my attitude helped create my problem or aggravate it. I must also learn to face the consequences of my own actions and words, and to correct myself when I’m wrong. Do I practice the Tenth Step by continuing to take personal inventory? When I am wrong, do I promptly admit it?

Today I Pray

May I know the blessed relief and unburdening that comes when I admit I have done something wrong. May I learn — perhaps for the first time in my entire life — to take responsibility for my own actions and to face the consequences. May I learn again how to match actions with consequences.

Today I Will Remember

To take responsibility for my own actions.

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One More Day

Our sweetest songs are those that tell of saddest thoughts.
– Percy Bysshe Shelley

Our inner messages are much like tuning a radio; we choose what we want to hear. With a turn of the radio dial, the music changes from mellow and happy to sad and lonely and back again.

The inner messages we choose to hear may fill our days with memories that are difficult to hear. But we can tune our minds to more positive thoughts, by noticing the beauty of our surroundings, by focusing on more pluses and on fewer minuses. We can, willingly, switch our minds to thoughts that are better for us and for our health.

Why should we listen to the sad, lonely sounds when we have other choices? We can choose a daily program to suit our goals and needs, one that enhances desires and improves general well-being.

Today, I will turn my personal dial to more positive messages.

[bluidkiti]

March 6

This Mouse must give up one of the Mouse ways of seeing things in order that he may grow. --Hyemeyohsts Storm
There is an American Indian tale of a mouse who heard a roaring in his ears and set out to discover what it was. He encountered many animals who helped him on his way. Finally, the mouse had a chance to offer help to another. He gave away his eyes to help two other animals.
Without his sight, defenseless, he waited for the end. Soon he heard the sound eagles make when they dive for their prey. The next thing the mouse knew, he was flying. He could see all the splendor around him. Then he heard a voice say, "You have a new name. You are Eagle."
Like the mouse, we also feel something inside us we'd like to explore. That secret, like all others, has its answer hidden deep within us, yet right under our very nose. Often, we merely have to give up our eyes and see in a different way. When we do this, we are rewarded with a new kind of vision, one that lets us discover our true potential.
How can I look at things differently today?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
A boy must be initiated into the world of men. It doesn't happen by itself; it doesn't happen just because he eats Wheaties. And only men can do this work. --Robert Ely
Many of us grew into manhood with a surface picture of what it means to be masculine. We had images of tough guys playing rough, but we weren't emotionally close enough to another man to really know him. Many of us never knew our fathers' strengths, passions, and weak points. It left us with a distorted picture of masculinity and not with an inner knowing. Getting close to other men is a new experience, and it may feel frightening or threatening.
We can develop close friendships with other males and let them know us as we are, rather than as this picture we try to imitate. This kind of relationship in play and work and troubled times is a central part of our spiritual recovery. Close relationships with other men teach us confidence in ourselves and give us inner security.
I will be aware today of men with whom 1 can develop a friendship and will take one small step toward them.


You are reading from the book The Language Of Letting Go.
Peace
Anxiety is often our first reaction to conflict, problems, or even our own fears. In those moments, detaching and getting peaceful may seem disloyal or apathetic. We think: If I really care, Ill worry; if this is really important to me, I must stay upset. We convince ourselves that outcomes will be positively affected by the amount of time we spend worrying.
Our best problem solving resource is peace. Solutions arise easily and naturally out of a peaceful state. Often, fear and anxiety block solutions. Anxiety gives power to the problem, not the solution. It does not help to harbor turmoil. It does not help.
Peace is available if we choose it. In spite of chaos and unsolved problems around us, all is well. Things will work out. We can surround ourselves with the resources of the Universe: water, earth, a sunset, a walk, a prayer, a friend. We can relax and let ourselves feel peace.
Today, I will let go of my need to stay in turmoil. I will cultivate peace and trust that timely solutions and goodness will arise naturally and harmoniously out of the wellspring of peace. I will consciously let go and let God.


I am learning to trust my instincts and move away from unpleasant and stressful people, places and things. I no longer have to stay in situations that bring me unhappiness and pain. I am turning around today to see the joy. --Ruth Fishel

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Journey to the Heart

Let Your Sexuality Be Connected to Your Heart

He was a handsome man. An acotr. “Something happened to me lately,” he shared. “It’s about my sexuality. I used to be sexual when and where I felt like it. No more. And it’s not connected to fear of disease, although that’s certainly a concern. What happened to me is that my sexuality has become connected to my heart.”

Let go of sexual shame. Embrace your sexuality. Value your senses, all of them– touch, smell, taste, seeing, and hearing. Value your other senses,too– your intuition, your spirituality, your spirit’s reaction to the world that dances around you. Open up to colors, textures, scents, and sounds.

Open up to your energy, all of it, including your sexuality. Let yourself see that all expressions of your love and your being are beautiful. Let yourself learn to express and receive love in sensual ways, ways that work for you.

Be done with sexual shame. Trust your body and what it likes. We aren’t disconnected parts. Open up. Discover your sexuality. Let it be connected to your heart.

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More Language Of Letting Go

Neutralize conflicts

Unless you want a fight or an argument, don’t give people anything to push against.

Here is a key to harmonizing with people who are upset or have a point of view different from your own. Stay so relaxed when you talk to them that you allow yourself to empathize with how they think and feel. That doesn’t mean that you give in to people’s every whim. It means, instead, that you are so clear and focused that you can genuinely let other people be who they are, too.

It’s both naive and egotistical to think that everyone thinks and feels the same as us. It’s ridiculous to beliieve that everyone will agree with our point of view. One of the true signs of a person who is growing in consciousness is that he or she recognizes that each person has individual motives, desires, and feelings.

“Instead of meeting a verbal attack with a verbal conterattack you respond first by coming around to your attacker’s point of view, seeing the situation from his or her viewpoint,” wrote George Leonard in the Way of Akido.

He was talking about using a concept called “blending” to deal with verbal confromtations in our daily lives. “The response, whether physical or verbal, is quite disarming, leaving the attacker with no target to focus on. It’s a means by which you can multiply your options in responding to any kind of attack.”

If the person espousing his or her point of view is just trying to get us to react or has no desire for reconciliation, we can still neutralize the conflict by staying relaxed, letting the other person be, and responding by saying “hmmmm.” It’s a polite way of saying whatever, when expressing your disagreement would only lead to a senseless fight. At the least, you’ll become a great conversationalist, a respectable art to be acquired. At best, you’ll bring about world peace, at least in your corner of the world.

God, help me be so clear on who I am that I can generously afford to let other people be who they are,too. Help me to set aside my defensive behavior, and teach me to blend with other people and see their point of view while not relinquishing my own.

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Exploring an Alternate Universe
What Makes People Tick?

by Madisyn Taylor

Interacting peacefully with people from all walks of life is a matter of first understanding where they are coming from.


All people have their own way of being in the world. It is easiest to comprehend this basic yet profound fact when we consider that every human being on the planet occupies a distinct role in the universe. We grow up in different environments, affected by a unique range of influences. The preferences, values, and beliefs we embrace are frequently related intimately to our origins. And the need to individualize our experiences is instinctive, as doing so enables us to cope when we must face challenges on our own. Consequently, each of us has developed a perspective that is uniquely ours. Interacting peacefully and constructively with people from all walks of life is a matter of first understanding where they are coming from. Then we can adjust our expectations so that we avoid making undue assumptions about what they are about.

In the face of emerging interpersonal conflict, it is easy to assume that others are being difficult, unreasonable, or stubborn. We are apt to grow frustrated when someone in our environment does not share our opinions or feel compelled to support us in our endeavors. It is likely that the individual or individuals before us may simply possess differing notions with regard to what is and what is not important in this life. We can ease the tension that exists between us by reaffirming our belief in the fundamental right of all beings to determine their own destinies. To foster a harmonious relationship, we need to do our best to relate to the unique universes they inhabit. And as we discover what makes them tick, our ability to find a mode of interaction that is pleasing to both of us is enhanced.

When there are barriers keeping you from connecting with someone else, think of questions you can ask them to gain a more thorough understanding of their point of view. You may discover that in addition to the differences in perspective dividing you, they are subject to insecurities and other personal issues that influence their way of seeing the world. It is likely that you will never fully grasp the myriad complexities embodied by humanity, but you can go a long way toward encouraging mutually satisfying relations by reaching out to others in the spirit of sympathetic comprehension. Published with permission from Daily OM

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A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

There is no advantage, no profit and certainly no growth when I deceive myself merely to escape the consequences of my own mistakes. When I realize this, I know I’ll be making progress. “We must be true inside, true to ourselves, before we can know a truth that is outside us,” wrote Thomas Merton in No Man Is An Island. “But we make ourselves true inside by manifesting the truth as we set it.” Am I true to myself?

Today I Pray

May I count on my Higher Power to help me carry out the truth as I see it. May I never duck a consequence again. Consequence-ducking became a parlor game for chemically addictive persons like me, until we lost all sense of relationship between action and outcome. Now that I am healing, please God, restore my balance.

Today I Will Remember

Match the Act with the consequence.

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One More Day

The unfortunate thing about this world is that good habits are so much easier to give up than bad ones.
–Somerset Maugham

Old habits often die hard, especially bad ones. We may need to be tactfully silent when we become irritated with the behavior or habits of our loved ones. It may seem at times as though everyone around us is either nail biting, smoking, cussing, or overeating. When illness enters the scene, or any other stressor for that matter, bad habits tend to resurface. We may be less tolerant of others’ faults and even of their good health.

It’s hard to put away old habits, especially the old pattern of being critical, but we can learn to let go. Even with extra stress in our lives we can begin to work on developing new habits. We can learn to recognize the growth we’ve achieved and to feel proud.

I can begin today to develop strong, new habits and to hold on to my old, strong habits.

[bluidkiti]

March 7

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
He who distributes the milk of human kindness cannot help but spill a little on himself. --James Barrie
We like ourselves best when we like those around us. When we smile at them, they smile back; when we ask them, they tell us about themselves. When we scowl at people, they'll frown back; when we ignore them, they'll walk away.
It's true that we get back what we put into things, whether it's work, play, love, or gardening. We decide by the extent of our commitment how valuable or enjoyable or depressing an experience can be for us.
Our actions toward others come right back to us. When we smile at people, they smile back, and we feel good. Sometimes feeling good about ourselves depends on feeling good about others. When we send out that smile of ours, those who get it pass it on, and we have added power to the happiness of the world.
What can I do to show my fondness for others today?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
A controller doesn't trust his/her ability to live through the pain and chaos of life. There is no life without pain just as there is no art without submitting to chaos. --Rita Mae Brown
It is very hard for most of us to see how controlling we are. We may feel uptight or careful, but we haven't seen it as controlling ourselves or controlling how people respond to us. We may be worried about a loved one's behavior or safety, but not realize our hovering over that person is a controlling activity. We may be keenly aware of other people's controlling behavior with us, but unaware we have equaled their control by monitoring them and trying to change their behavior.
What a moment of spiritual adventure it is to risk living through the pain! When we do not seek an escape or a quick fix but have patience with the process, new possibilities often do develop. We can only let go of our control - or turn it over to our Higher Power. And we will do it and forget, taking control back within minutes or within an hour. Then we let go again.
Today, I will submit to the insecurity of a changing universe and have faith that 1 can live through the process and grow.


You are reading from the book The Language Of Letting Go.
Fulfillment
Everything I need shall be provided today. Everything. Say it, until you believe it. Say it at the beginning of the day. Say it throughout the day.
Sometimes, it helps to know what we want and need. But if we don't, we can trust that God does.
When we ask, trust, and believe that our needs will be met, our needs will be met. Sometimes God cares about the silliest little things, if we do.
Today, I will affirm that my needs will be met. I will affirm that God cares and is the Source of my supply. Then I will let go and see that what I have risked to believe is the truth.


It is exciting to know that my thoughts and my actions in the present moment condition the next moment. I am responsible for my future. Today I am bringing awareness to my self-talk and replacing all negative thoughts with positive thoughts as soon as they appear on my mindscape. --Ruth Fishel

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Journey to the Heart

Redefine Service

Service is a key, an important one. It’s a key to joy, to love. And a gold key to the journey.

How long we thought service meant doing everything for everyone. How long we thought service had to be hard, taxing, boring– that it meant doing something we didn’t want to do to help someone who didn’t want to be helped.

Now, we’re defining service differently. Service is joyful. It’s an attitude, a belief, a way of looking at ourselves and our lives. Our very life is service. Our being is service. Service arises and springs naturally out of self-love. It arises from being who we are and from doing the things we want to do and are led to do. The things that bring us the most joy will bring the most service to the world. Doing things we don’t want to do will leave us and the world around us cold, untouched, unmoved.

Service is love and joy. Service is being who you are. Bask in self-love. Service will flow naturally from that. It will be freely given and freely received. And now what you do will really help.

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More Language Of Letting Go

Recognize manipulations

Herein lies an irony: the person who is trying to manipulate you views you as having greater strength or power than he or she does.
–George H. Green and Carolyn Cotter

Stop Being Manipulated

George Green and Carolyn Cotter describe manipulation as an encounter in which someone else attempts to control how you feel, behave, or think– without your permission– and it causes you discomfort as a result.

Most of us use manipulation, from time to time, to get what we want. Sometimes our manipulations are harmless’ even cute. Both people know a low-grade manipulation is at hand. Both people basically want what the manipulator is working so hard to get– dinner out, a movie, a walk through the park. It’s not a big deal.

Other times, the stakes are higher and the people involved don’t agree. That’s when manipulations can be harmful. When we don’t know what we want, when we’re not clear with others and ourselves about how we feel, a manipulation is in the air.

Sometimes manipulationx are conscious and deliberate. Other times they’re unconscious, foggy attempts to get what we want.

“Let’s simplify our definition of manipulation,” suggest Green and Cotter. “If an encounter leaves you feeling crummy, it probably involves manipulation of some sort.”

Isn’t it ironic that sometimes the very feeling we’re trying to deny is exactly what we need to be feeling to take care of ourselves?

Next time you’re faced with a situation that leaves you feeling crummy, take a moment to see if a manipulation was involved. Remember that whenever others try to manipulate you, they perceive you as having something they want and as being more powerful than they are. If you’re powerful enough to be a target for a manipulation, you’re powerful enough to take care of yourself.

God, help me let go of my belief that I need to manipulate other people to get what I want. Help me stop letting others manipulate me.

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Letting Go of Understanding
Deeper Meanings

by Madisyn Taylor

We don't always need to know the deeper meaning of everything that happens in our lives.


All of us who seek to be conscious and aware regard our experiences as teachers, and we try to discern what lessons we are learning from the things that happen in our lives. Sometimes the lesson is very clear from the get-go, and other times we have to really search to understand the deeper meaning behind some event. While this search often yields results, there also comes a point in the search where what we really need to do is move forward. It is possible that we are not meant to know the deeper meaning of certain occurrences. Answers may come later in our lives, or they may come as a result of letting go, or they may never come.

We are all part of a complex system of being, and things work themselves out in the system as a whole. Sometimes we are just playing a necessary part in that process with a result larger than we can understand. It may have very little to do with us personally, and while that can be hard to understand, it can also free us from overthinking the matter. Sometimes it is best to see it in terms of karma, a past debt we have been able to repay in this way, or as the clearing of energy. We can simply thank the event for being part of our experience and let it go. This completes the process that the occurrence has made possible.

To make this letting go official, we can perform a ritual, make a final journal entry on the subject, or sit in meditation with the intention of releasing the event from our consciousness. As we do so, we summon it one last time, honoring it with our attention, thanking it, and saying good-bye. We then let it go out the door, out the window, out the top of our heads, or into the earth through the bottoms of our feet, liberating ourselves from any burden we have carried in association with it. Published with permission from Daily OM

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A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

It’s time for me to realize that my attitude — toward the life I’m living and the people in it — can have a tangible, measurable and profound effect on what happens to me day by day. If I expect good, then good will surely come to me. And If I try each day to base my attitude and point of view on a sound spiritual foundation, I know it will change all the circumstances of my life for the better, too. Do I accept the fact that I have been given only a daily reprieve that is contingent on my spiritual condition?

Today I Pray

since my illness was spiritual — as well as physical and emotional — may I mend spiritually through daily communion with God. May I find a corner of quiet within me where I can spend a few moments with Him. May He make His will known to me. May I worship Him from that inner temple that is in myself.

Today I will Remember

To spend a quiet moment with God.

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One More Day

Life if you will, is a work of art, and if we have paid loving attention to its details, we will be able to take pride in the finished product.
– Harold Kushner

Without even realizing it, we often do things that are good for us and make us happy. We do something that creates well-being, and we have a successful day. When we pay attention to actions that create well-being we can have a successful week. Taking good care of our homes makes us feel proud and so does helping a fellow human being in need. Making volunteer work a part of how we live, showing kindness to others and ourselves, reaching out — all these choices enhance our well-being.

When we pay attention to those around us, a transformation occurs within our spiritual selves. Then we shall have given ourselves the gift of a meaningful life.

I will pay loving attention to the details of my day.

[bluidkiti]

March 8

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
Laughter by definition is healthy. --Doris Lessing
A hearty laugh can warm a cold room and make our spirits soar. But many of us are afraid to laugh, especially when we make mistakes. We think we're supposed to be perfect, and we don't allow ourselves to make mistakes. However, we're not a mold punched out by a machine. We're human beings, with all our wonderful flaws. It is those flaws that make our lives interesting and surprising. Who knows when we might accidentally bump into a chair or catch our sweater on a doorknob? We needn't feel self-conscious, it happens to many of us.
The ability to laugh at ourselves is a gift from God. All we need to do is grab it and use it. Then we will see how healthy and powerful laughter can be.
Can I find the humor in my mistakes today?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
Before the rain stops we hear a bird. Even under the heavy snow we see snowdrops and some new growth. --Shunryu Suzuki
The signals that new growth is underway are often very small at first. It's sometimes discouraging when we are trying to remake our lives and all we can see for our efforts is minor growth. That is how the natural world works, and we are part of this world. When the little sprouts of growth first develop under the snow in spring we don't even see them unless we search. Yet, they signal the beginnings of a total transformation. Time will bring vast changes, but only little signs are showing first.
Today, we may search for signs of progress in our lives. The little things we see may signal bigger transformations yet to come. To be true to them in the long run we must accept them - even welcome them - as they are today.
I will notice the subtle movements toward health and renewal in my life. Welcoming them will encourage them.


You are reading from the book The Language Of Letting Go.
Surrender
Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God, as we understood Him. --Step Three of Al Anon
Surrendering to a Power greater than ourselves is how we become empowered.
We become empowered in a new, better, more effective way than we believed possible.
Doors open. Windows open. Possibilities occur. Our energy becomes channeled, at last, in areas and ways that work for us. We become in tune with the Plan for our life and our place in the Universe.
And there is a Plan and Place for us. We shall see that. We shall know that. The Universe will open up and make a special place for us, with all that we need provided.
It will be good. Understand that it is good, now.
Learning to own our power will come, if we are open to it. We do not need to stop at powerlessness and helplessness. That is a temporary place where we re evaluate where we have been trying to have power when we have none.
Once we surrender, it is time to become empowered.
Let the power come, naturally. It is there. It is ours.
Today, I will be open to understanding what it means to own my power. I will accept powerlessness where I have no power; I will also accept the power that is mine to receive.


With every breath that I take, healing is taking place. I relax safely in the knowledge that positive, healing energy is working in my life today. I am being renewed and refreshed and energized. --Ruth Fishel

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Journey to the Heart

Your Dreams Are Important

A woman told me about a dream she had, one that was bothering her deeply. “What do you think it means?” she asked.

“I don’t know,” I replied. “Besides, it doesn’t matter what I think. The important thing is what you think. What’s it telling you?”

We dream two kinds of dreams– waking dreams and sleeping dreams. Both are powerful forms of consciousness. Our sleeping dreams, the images that dance in our minds while we sleep, hold many clues to life, growth, the future, the past, healing, and our connections with others. They may reveal suppressed emotions. They may be bits and pieces of prophecy. They may be symbols of truths we’re about to learn.

Our waking dreams are important,too. We go about daily with our expectations, wants, desires, hopes– our heart’s plan for the future. We may not express these dreams. We may not even realize we are superimposing them on our lives, much the same way we can forget what we dream when we sleep.

There’s power in allowing ourselves to become conscious of our dreams. What are our dreams telling us about what we want, fear, hope for, desire? Expressing our dreams will connect us to our consciousness and a higher consciousness. Expressing them will connect us to the creative force. Tapping into our dreams helps us tap into creativity– creativity for our lives, creativity for projects, the powerful creative force of the universe.

There’s power in dreaming, whether we’re asleep or awake. Take time to honor and express your dreams.

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More Language Of Letting Go

Learn to deal with manipulations

Even if you understand and follow all of the rules for more effectively engaging manipulators, life with them is not likely to be easy.
–George K. Simon Jr.

Sometimes they want something. Sometimes they want someone. Sometimes they want someone to give them something or to feel a particular way. They want power, in some way, shape, or form. Manipulators prey on our weak spots.

Obsession and guilt are weapons.

Manipulators get us to use these weapons on ourselves.

Sometimes we can disengage from manipulators– walk away, set a clear limit, be done with them. Other times, it’s not that easy. We may be at least temporarily stuck with a boss or authority figure who indulges in heavy manipulation. One of our children may be going through a relentlessly manipulative period. We may have a parent whom we care about deeply who has adapted manipulation as a way of life.

Learn how to effectively deal with manipulators. Not everyone means what they say. People fling words about to hit our guilty, vain, or frightened spots. Recognize that tinge of guilt or coercion you feel when other people are trying to force you to do it their way. Learn to recognize when others are telling you what they believe you want to hear. Learn to not react, stay clear, practice nonresistence, and stay true to yourself.

Be gentle with yourself, if you have a manipulator in your life. You’re not responsible for the other person’s attempts at manipulation. You’re responsible for staying clear.

God, help me let go of the weak spots in myself that allow me to fall prey to manipulations. Help me stay clear of guilt and obsession so I can decide what’s best for me.

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Defense Mechanisms
Beyond Behavior

by Madisyn Taylor

We can let go of our defense mechanisms when we are ready to be truly honest with ourselves.


We all have defense mechanisms that we’ve developed over time, often without being aware of it. In times of trouble, the behaviors that have worked to get us past challenges with the least amount of pain are the ones that we repeat; even when part of us knows they no longer work. Such behavior is a natural response from our mental and physical aspects. But because we are spiritual beings as well, we have the ability to rise above habits and patterns to see the truth that lay beyond. And from that moment on, we can make choices that allow us to work directly from that place of truth within us.

Most of our defense mechanisms were developed in childhood; from the moment that we realized crying would get us the attention we craved. Passive aggressive ways of communicating may have allowed us to get what we needed without being scolded, punished or laughed at, so we learned to avoid being direct and honest. Some of us may have taken refuge in the lives of others, discovering ways to direct attention away from ourselves entirely. Throwing ourselves into projects or rescuing others from themselves can be effective ways to avoid dealing with our own issues. And when people are truly helped by our actions, we get the added bonus of feeling heroic. But while defenses can keep away the things we fear, they can also work to keep our good from us.

When we can be honest with ourselves about what we truly desire, then we can connect our desires to the creative power of the spirit within us. Knowing that we are one with the energy of the universe allows us release any need for defense. Trusting that power, we know that we are exactly where we are meant to be, and that challenges bring gifts of growth and experience. When we can put down arms raised in defense, then we are free to use our hands, minds, hearts and spirits to mold and shape our abundant energy to create and live our lives. Published with permission from Daily OM

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A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

Merely to change my behavior, and what I say and do, doesn’t prove there’s been a change in my actual inner attitude. I’m deceiving myself if I believe I can somehow completely disguise my true feelings. They’ll somehow come through, prolonging the difficulties in my relationships with others. I have to avoid half-measures in getting rid of the trouble-some emotions I’ve been trying to hide. Have I taken an honest inventory of myself?

Today I Pray

May I know that feelings will come out somehow — sometimes barely disguised as behavior that I cannot always understand. But that perhaps in more acceptable to me than the root emotion that caused it. May I be completely and vigilantly honest with myself. May I be given the insight that comes through depending upon a Higher Power.

Today I Will Remember

Feelings can come out “sideways.”

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One More Day

We cannot learn without pain.
– Aristotle

It is said that pain and experience are life’s two greatest teachers. What good would it be if we felt pain each day but never learned from it? And what good would it be if we coasted through life without experiencing joy along with sorrow?

There can be no depth of personality or depth of character if our lives have been perfect. Experience etches our hearts and souls, gives us depth, and deepens the horizon of our days. No individual has lived a life completely without pain, without sorrow. We can move beyond our pain and sorrow to grow in new directions.

I can accept the lessons I am learning of tolerance to living a less-than-perfect life. These lessons help me grow.

[bluidkiti]

March 9

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
There is no such thing as a long piece of work, except one that you dare not start. --Charles Baudelaire
A big assignment can be scary to face. We may start to think that how we do on the assignment will determine if we're good or bad people. The more we think about it, the harder that task seems. The key to overcoming our negative feelings is to say to ourselves that we are capable of finishing our projects. We must say it over and over until we start believing it's true. Then we can attack the assignment with vitality and positive energy we didn't know we had.
We can make up our minds to do our best and accept that from ourselves. We say Edison was a genius, but our light bulbs still burn out regularly. Even Einstein was wrong once in a while, and he knew it, but that didn't stop him from trying.
When we feel afraid to start something because it seems too big a job, let's stop and think what the first step would be, and do each small step in its own time.
What can I start that I've been putting off?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
We all wear masks, and the time comes when we cannot remove them without removing some of our own shin.
--Andre Berthiaume
The masks men wear are as varied as those who wear them, but their purpose is quite simple. We wear masks to hide our real faces from those around us and even from ourselves. There are seductive masks, innocent masks, white knight masks, tough guy masks, black sheep masks, lone wolf masks, and many more. Sometimes we want to take on another identity so others won't see our insecurities. Or we think taking the form of someone else will give us power over others, or they will like us better, or we can escape ourselves.
The cost of wearing a mask is not getting a chance to develop our real personalities. What masks are we attached to? Are we willing to give them up in the interest of our spiritual growth?
May I have the courage to drop my phony masks in order to grow stronger in self knowledge.


You are reading from the book The Language Of Letting Go.
Taking Care of Ourselves
We cannot simultaneously set a boundary and take care of another persons feelings. Its impossible; the two acts contradict.
What a tremendous asset to have compassion for others! How difficult that same quality can make it to set boundaries!
Its good to care about other people and their feelings; its essential to care about ourselves too. Sometimes, to take good care of ourselves, we need to make a choice.
Some of us live with a deeply ingrained message from our family, or from church, about never hurting other peoples feelings. We can replace that message with a new one; one that says its not okay to hurt ourselves. Sometimes, when we take care of ourselves, others will react with hurt feelings.
That's okay. We will learn, grow, and benefit by the experience; they will too. The most powerful and positive impact we can have on other people is accomplished by taking responsibility for ourselves, and allows others to be responsible for themselves.
Caring works. Caretaking doesn't. We can learn to walk the line between the two.
Today, I will set the limits I need to set. I will let go of my need to take care of other peoples feelings and instead take care of my own. I will give myself permission to take care of myself, knowing its the best thing I can do for others and myself.


Today I know that I am in charge of the quality of my life. I am growing in the ability to become aware of the thoughts that have been controlling me. --Ruth Fishel

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Journey to the Heart

Let Your Visions Guide You

Visions are different from dreams. A vision is a picture that comes from the soul and comes out through the heart.

A vision is a small glimpse of light that shines and shows us our path. It is a quick flash of something that hasn’t happened yet. It may tell us something about today or ten years from now. Visions occur when our souls look at the map for our lives, get a sense of where we’re going, and tell our hearts how to find that place. The more conscious and clear and direct we are, the more we can tune into and help create the highest vision for our lives.

What do you want? What would feel right? What do you see yourself doing? Be clear and concise, then let it go. Sometimes when we run out of dreams, we have to rely on our visions, these small glimpses of light, to lead the way. Learn to see the visions in your heart. Learn to trust them. Learn to help create them. Allow them to manifest themselves. When the path is dark, learn to be comfortable with these small bursts of light.

Let your visions guide you home.

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More Language Of Letting Go

Know your limits

While it’s good to be compassionate, we can become overly compassionate,too. Don’t work so hard at not judging other people that you forget to pay attention to what you don’t like.

“I know what it feels like to be abandoned and left. I don’t like the feeling, so I’m not going to leave my boyfriend,” Clara says. She’s living with a man who abuses her, emotionally and physically.

“I’m not going to judge her,” Ralph says about his new wife. She’s using cocaine and stealing money from him to get high. “She’s had a hard life, and I haven’t walked in her shoes.”

“I need to be compassionate and nonjudgemental with my son,” Robert says about a child who’s driving him to distraction with his manipulations and lies. “He’s had a hard life. His mother died when he was three. And I’m the only person he’s got left.”

You can set boundaries with someone, without judging that person. You can decide that behaviors are inappropriate and hurt you, without condemning that person.

Don’t forget, you have a right to say “ouch.”

We can say whatever with compassion and still take care of ourselves.

God, help me set appropriate limits with the people in my life.

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Capturing Life’s Flavor
Taking a Field Trip

When we were children, few words were more exciting to hear than the phrase "field trip." Field trips were a break from schoolwork and an opportunity to go on an adventure with friends. Now that we are grown ups, taking a field trip can be just as fun and memorable – if only we were willing to sign our own permission slips so we could go on one.

Allowing yourself to get stuck in your routine can make life seem boring. Adding a touch of variety to your life in the form of a field trip can break up the monotony of your days and lead you to adventure. Unlike the jaunts that were regulated by teachers or monitored by parents, taking a field trip as an adult can lead you anywhere you want. You can go on a daylong retreat or spend just a few hours at your destination. A field trip can be an opportunity to explore a new landscape or discover something about yourself. Taking a day trip to another town or visiting an unfamiliar spot in your neighborhood can be educational and fun. There is also much to be said for finding a beautiful spot under a tree where you can read a book. You can even go to one of your favorite spots and allow yourself to experience it as if you were visiting there for the first time. Going on a field trip is as much a state of mind as it is a change in the scenery.

During a “grown up” field trip, schedules, clocks, and duties are put aside so you can focus wholeheartedly on mindfully enjoying yourself. Planning a field trip can be almost as fun as going on one. A field trip is an excursion to look forward to and an experience to be savored after the fact. Wherever you decide to go and whatever you decide to do, going on a field trip can add much pleasure and excitement to your life. Published with permission from Daily OM

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A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

We learn in The Program and its Twelve Steps that as we grow spiritually, we find that our old attitudes toward our instinctual drives need to undergo drastic revisions. Our demands for emotional security and wealth,for personal prestige and power, all have to be tempered and redirected. We learn that the full satisfaction of these demands cannot be the sole end and aim of our lives. But when we’re willing to place spiritual growth first — then and only then do we have a real chance to grow in healthy awareness and mature love. Am I willing to place spiritual growth first?

Today I Pray

May my development as a spiritual person temper my habitual hankerings for materil security. May I understand that the only real security in life is spiritual. If I have faith in my Higher Power, these revisions in my attitudes will follow. May I grow first in spiritual awareness.

Today I Will Remember

Value the life of the spirit.

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One More Day

Don’t waste today regretting yesterday instead of making a memory for tomorrow.
– Laura Palmer

Our youthful dreams were filled with grand expectations of our impact on the world. Some of those goals were reached; many were not.

Now, it’s easier to accept that not all our plans will come to pass. In accepting that, we are able to set new goals that better reflect our dreams and ideals today. For a while it may seem as though we are “just surviving,” but we can have more.

At our stage of life we are capable of making mature decisions, of setting more realistic goals. Each day we can reflect upon our accomplishments and upon the joy of family, friends, and job. Finally, we can feel comfortable with ourselves, and we can look forward to our tomorrows.

Yesterday is gone and unchangeable, but today is real and is mine to use.

[bluidkiti]

March 10

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
The older you get the more you realize that kindness is synonymous with happiness. --Lionel Barrymore
Once in a while, we forget about the kind things people have done for us. Do we remember the next-door neighbor who helped us get our kite out of a tree, or the brother who helped us finish a project for school? If we think about these kindnesses, we will remember how happy we were to receive them.
These people and others may need a kindness we can give. Our next-door neighbor may get sick and need us to go to the store, a brother or sister may need to borrow a radio, or the elderly person down the street may need the lawn mowed. Whenever we take the time to give a kindness, we will find that like the boomerang, it returns to us in the form of happiness.
Will I be alert to my chances to give kindness today?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
There is no king who has not had a slave among his ancestors, and no slave who has not had a king among his. --Helen Keller
The human race is a huge mixture of dignity and degradation and every man inherits the blend. We can respect the slave in us for his endurance and suffering. And the king in us earns our respect for his leadership and justice. Are we ashamed of who we are or where we have come from? Then we may have to look deeper and ask if we are really different from any other man.
Do we believe we must conform to some mold of acceptability, some proper appearance? Are we so focused on the surface that we miss the deeper values of our humanness? Sometimes we take on a reverse smugness and become judgmental of the person who looks successful or speaks well. We think, "I can't like him, he's in a different class." We all need acceptance and respect, and in this program we are equals from the first day.
God, grant me the self esteem to accept the whole mixture that comes together in me and in the people around me.


You are reading from the book The Language Of Letting Go.
Living with Families
I was forty-six years old before I finally admitted to myself and someone else that my grandfather always managed to make me feel guilty, angry, and controlled. --Anonymous
We may love and care about our family very much. Family members may love and care about us. But interacting with some members may be a real trigger to our codependency - sometimes to a deep abyss of shame, rage, anger, guilt, and helplessness.
It can be difficult to achieve detachment, or an emotional level, with certain family members. It can be difficult to separate their issues from ours. It can be difficult to own our power.
Difficult, but not impossible.
The first step is awareness and acceptance - simple acknowledgment, without guilt, of our feelings and thoughts. We do not have to blame our family members. We do not have to blame or shame ourselves. Acceptance is the goal - acceptance and freedom to choose what we want and need to do to take care of ourselves with that person. We can become free of the patterns of the past. We are recovering. Progress is the goal.
Today, Higher Power, help me be patient with myself as I learn how to apply recovery behaviors with family members. Help me strive today for awareness and acceptance.


I am open and willing to take a step forward in a new direction. I am no longer allowing myself to stay stuck by old thoughts and feelings. This new place is exciting and energizing. --Ruth Fishel

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Journey to the Heart

Beware of Gossip

Gossip is a seductive pastime that can be harmful to others, harmful to ourselves. Some gossip is innocent.We chatter about the experiences of others lightly, joyfully, in a way that doesn’t hurt. Other gossip isn’t so innocent. It’s rooted in anger, jealousy, betrayal, and sometimes hatred. We feel deprived and cheated– hurt-so we want to hurt another.

Would you stand and throw darts at someone? Would you pick up a knife and stab that person in the back? I think not. Yet, when we gossip, we do the same thing. Words, especially those coated with emotion, carry energy, sometimes potentially damaging energy. When we hurt another, we hurt ourselves. Both are injured. We need to deal with our feelings of anger, hurt, betrayal, or jealousy before they wound through gossip.

While walking this journey, you must learn of the dangers. Gossip is one of them. Heal the feelings underneath so you can speak lightly with words of love.

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More Language Of Letting Go

Let it be

Life is a series of letting go’s– an “infinite” series of letting go’s. All things in life are given us on loan. Stand face-to-face with life, learn to let go, and whatever comes our way– success or failure, joy or sorrow, support or betrayal, light or darkness– it all blesses us. Once we have learned to let go, we are prepared for whatever life gives us. And death itself is nothing to be feared.
–Matthew Fox

For many years, I resisted the concept of letting go. I resisted mostly because I didn’t understand what people were talking about. I’d be loudly obsessing about something. “Just let go,” they’d say. “Okay,” I’d say. Then I’d walk away and wonder what they meant, and mostly how to do it. Soon, I caught on. If I didn’t want people harping on me about letting go, I needed to obsess silently. Privately. Or at least in the presence of someone who wouldn’t lecture me about letting go.

As the years wore on, I was forced into letting go. Eventually I even wrote a book called The Language of Letting go. I thought it was the end of my need to practice letting go.

When my son died, I learned that writing the book was only a prelude, an introductory course in letting go. Over the years that followed, I gradually began to learn a new respect for this behavior called letting go.

Letting go is a behavior we can practice each day, whatever the circumstances in our lives. It’s a behavior that benefits relationships we want to work. It’s a helpful behavior in insane relationships, too. It’s a useful tool to use when we really want to bring something or someone into our lives, and in accomplishing our goals. It’s a helpful tool to use on outdated behaviors such as low self-esteem and manipulation.

Letting go takes the emotional charge, the drama, out of things and restores us to a sense of balance, peace, and spiritual power.

Letting go works well on the past and the future. It brings us into today.

Paraphrasing the mystic writer Matthew Fox, everything that comes, comes to pass. Denystify letting go. It’s not as complicated as it sounds. Learning the art of letting go really means learning to calmly let things be.

God, help me learn to let go.

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You Deserve To Have Your Dreams Come True
Personal Power

Many of us have do not understand what personal power means. We have been given the false notion that power is bad—that it is something we use to exert our will upon others. In fact, when our personal power is intact, we are neither overbearing nor meek. We have a clear sense of our strength and the impact we can have on others. This actually enables us to be more sensitive. Personal power is what permits us to work on behalf of our dreams and desires. It allows us to realize that we are worthy and deserve to be heard. In addition, our personal power lets us extend the respect we know that we deserve to the people around us. There is no reason to be afraid or ashamed of fully owning your power.

In the chakra system, the solar plexus is the seat of personal power. One way to evaluate your sense of power is to breathe into this part of the body. If it feels tight or nervous, it is an indication that you may not be fully expressing your power. You can heal this imbalance by expanding the area of the solar plexus with your breath. You can also visualize a bright yellow sun in this part of your body. Allow its heat to melt any tension, and let its light dissolve any darkness or heaviness. Repeating this exercise on a regular basis can restore and rejuvenate your sense of power.

Another way to nurture your personal power is to honor your dreams and desires by making concrete plans to manifest them in the world. Start by making a list of things you want, and let yourself think big. Choose one goal from the list and commit to bringing it to fruition. In addition, break the goal into tasks that you can work on each day. Know that you deserve to have your dreams come true and that you have the power to bring them into being. Published with permission from Daily OM

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A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

In a letter to a friend, AA’s co-founder Bill W. once wrote, “Nothing can be more demoralizing than a clinging an d abject dependence upon another human being. This often amounts to the demand for a degree of protection and love that no one could possibly satisfy. So our hoped-for protectors finally flee, and once more we are left alone — either to grow up or to disintegrate.” We discover, in The Program, that the best possible source of emotional stability is our Higher Power. We find that dependence upon His Perfect justice, forgiveness and love is healthy, and that it works where nothing else will. Do I depend on my Higher Power?

Today I Pray

May I realize that I am a dependent person. I have depended upon chemicals to alter my moods and attitudes. I have also developed parasitic attachments for others. May I stop making unrealistic emotional demands on others, which only serve to choke off mature human relationships and to leave me bewildered and let down. Only God can provide the kind of whole-heated love which I, as a dependent person, seem to need. May I depend first upon God.

Today I Will Remember

God offers perfect love.

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One More Day

You cannot teach a man anything. You can only help him find it within Himself.
– Galileo

We can’t avoid the crises, large or small, that are a normal part of living. Automobile accidents, spending more money that we can afford, stubbed toes, rain on vacations — these things happen to everyone. No one is exempt. But we can learn from our negative experiences. We learn to be more careful, to hold our tongues, to be more responsible.

No one can teach us how to live. We have to learn by ourselves. And eventually we’re better able to handle our own problems, sometimes even with grace and finesse. We can share what we have learned with others, we can help pave the way for them, but invariably they too will have to do it for themselves.

Life hands me situations. I have the ability to make them into positive experiences.

[bluidkiti]

March 11

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
Being a healthy parent means being firm but nurturing, giving children a decent sense of the boundaries along with lots of unconditional love. --Karen Shaud
In a healthy family, life goes along and everybody pitches in to do the housework. Some people wonder why housework is such a big deal. It is because people need to contribute to a group in order to feel they belong to it. Housework makes us part of the same group--our house, our family. We make our house comfortable so we can feel comfortable and safe in it. We show love for ourselves by making our surroundings likeable. And when we do physical work, we can do our inner housekeeping, letting go of negative feelings that pile up during the day.
On days when life feels out of control, we feel good when we do one simple job: clean the messy desk, wash dirty dishes, shovel the snowy walk. In this way we regain control of our feelings as well as a perspective on those things within our control.
What simple work do I need to do to feel better today?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
One must not hold one's self so divine as to be unwilling occasionally to make improvements in one's creations.
--Ludwig van Beethoven
We addicted and codependent men too often feel ashamed of our mistakes. It pains us to admit there is room for improvement in what we have done. When we do see that our work can be improved, shame overwhelms us. Our oversensitivity to flaws puts us in a kind of competition with God. We are not yet resigned to letting ourselves be fully human - and letting God be God. Life is much calmer when we remember that who we are and what we do are not the same.
We are deeper and richer than any object we create or any job we hold. A genius like Beethoven could see he needed to make occasional improvements in his composition, and we can follow his model. Allowing for imperfection, we are better prepared to deal with it, and we are liberated to do our jobs and live our lives more fully.
I will be content to let God be God and accept my life with all its need/or improvements.


You are reading from the book The Language Of Letting Go.
Letting Go of Confusion
Sometimes, the way is not clear.
Our minds get clouded, confused. We aren't certain what our next step should be, what it will look like, what direction we are headed.
This is the time to stop, ask for guidance, and rest. That is the time to let go of fear. Wait. Feel the confusion and chaos, and then let it go. The path will show itself. The next step shall be revealed. We don't have to know now. We will know in time. Trust that. Let go and trust.
Today, I will wait if the way is not clear. I will trust that out of the chaos will come clarity.


Today I continue to let go of all thoughts that continue to pull me out of the present and bringing me to the past and the future. I am becoming more and more open to letting the power of good and love into my life. --Ruth Fishel

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Journey to the Heart

Enjoy the Changing Scenery

How easy it is to think, I will be feeling like this forever. But look at how quickly the scenery changes!

In the space of a few hours while driving down the highway, we can see mountains, deserts, a petrified forest, and iron-rich mesas. In the space of a day we can see courage, faith, despair, desolation, anger, healing, and joy. If there’s one thing that’s true, it’s this: the universe is always changing. It is constant, continual evolution.

The same holds true for the minutes, hours, and days of our lives. We are continually changing and shifting. Each emotion, attitude, and experience– each piece of scenery– leads into the next. Put them all together and what do you have? A grand journey– an exciting trip that leads to someplace worth going and someplace worth being, each moment you are here.

Look at how quickly the scenery changes. Learn to enjoy the view.

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More Language Of Letting God

Things happen

A healthy friend dies participating in a sport she loves. A husband works hard on his marriage only to come home one day and find his wife in bed with another man.

A knock at the door, and a starving family opens it to find bags of groceries piled anonymously on the porch. A large order comes in just as a company is getting ready to close its doors, and the owner’s dream is given new life.

Sometimes life twists. Sometimes it goes the other way,too. Things happen. Sometimes we label these events good, sometimes bad. We cannot always see the reason or purpose in them, but most of us choose to believe there’s a Divine plan.

I don’t know why I’ve received some of the blessings I’ve been given. I don’t know why some of the sorrow has come my way. All I can do is trust that whatever comes my way, there’s a lesson at hand.

Are you focusing on the circumstances of your life instead of the lessons? The circumstances are the tools. Be involved in them. Feel the pain of loss and the elation of victory. Let compassion work its way into your soul. Learn caring and kindness for others and yourself,too.

Instead of asking why, learn to ask what the lesson is. The moment you become ready to accept it, the lesson will become clear.

God, help me accept all the twists and turns along my way. Help me learn to say whatever to the good and the unfortunate incidents that come my way.

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Set Yourself Free
Letting Go of Perfection

It is good to remember that one of our goals in life is to not be perfect. We often lose track of this aspiration. When we make mistakes, we think that we are failing or not measuring up. But if life is about experimenting, experiencing, and learning, then to be imperfect is a prerequisite. Life becomes much more interesting once we let go of our quest for perfection and aspire for imperfection instead.

This doesn’t mean that we don’t strive to be our best. We simply accept that there is no such thing as perfection—especially in life. All living things are in a ceaseless state of movement. Even as you read this, your hair is growing, your cells are dying and being reborn, and your blood is moving through your veins. Your life changes more than it stays the same. Perfection may happen in a moment, but it will not last because it is an impermanent state. Trying to hold on to perfection or forcing it to happen causes frustration and unhappiness.

In spite of this, many of us are in the habit of trying to be perfect. One way to nudge ourselves out of this tendency is to look at our lives and notice that no one is judging us to see whether or not we are perfect. Sometimes, perfectionism is a holdover from our childhood—an ideal we inherited from a demanding parent. We are adults now, and we can choose to let go of the need to perform for someone else’s approval. Similarly, we can choose to experience the universe as a loving place where we are free to be imperfect. Once we realize this, we can begin to take ourselves less seriously and have more fun. Imperfection is inherent to being human. By embracing your imperfections, you embrace yourself. Published with permission from Daily OM

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A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

Since I came to The Program, I’ve begun to recognize my previous inability to form a true partnership with another person. It seems that my egomania created two disastrous pitfalls. Either I insisted upon dominating the people I knew, or I depended on them far too much. My friends in The Program have taught me that my dependence meant demand — a demand for the possession and control of the people and the conditions surrounding me. Do I still try to find emotional security either by dominating or being dependent on others?

Today I Pray

May I turn first to God to satisfy my love-hunger, knowing that all He asks from me is my faith in Him. May I no longer cast emotional nets over those I excessively dependent upon them — which is just another form of domination. May I give others the room they need to be themselves. May God show me the way to mature human relationships.

Today I Will Remember

To havve faith is His Love.

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One More Day

The hopeful man sees success where others see failure, sunshine where others see shadows and storm.
– O.S. Marden

Once in a while we lose sight of the world around us and get caught up in how miserably we are feeling. We may be in physical or emotional pain and become self-absorded. Or we may be unhappy because things are not going exactly the way we want.

But we can imagine, just for a moment, a beautiful watercolor picture of a sunrise — the promise of a brand-new day. The hues are gentle pastels. The colors blend together subtly, gently, with no perceptible break from one section to another. We can relax in the beauty and serenity of the scene. We can enjoy it with no other motive than pleasure. Positive imagery can help us enhance the beauty of the moment.

I am overwhelmed by nature’s beauty and by the great joy I feel. I can call back these same feelings by visualizing them in my mind.

[bluidkiti]

March 12

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
Gentleness is not a quality exclusive to women. --Helen Reddy
Each of us has our soft side: maybe it's when we're petting a kitten, caring for a baby robin with an injured wing, or soothing a crying child who is afraid. Behaving in a gentle way toward others gives us warm feelings inside. It also encourages others to treat us gently, too.
We don't always feel like being gentle. If we're sad or worried about school or a friend, we might not even notice the people around us who need our gentleness. But when we remember gentleness, it lifts our spirits. Two people will always be happier when we're gentle--the person we've been gentle to and ourselves.
Who can I share my gentleness with today?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
No sooner do we think we have assembled a comfortable life than we find a piece of ourselves that has no place to fit in.
--Gail Sheehy
We usually think of children going through stages. If we talk about a man going through a stage, there is usually a tone of a put down in it. But adults go through stages in their lives too. We have different drives and needs at 22 than we had at 16. Age 40 brings a different experience than 30. It would be sad to reach age 60 or 70 and have no more wisdom than we had twenty years earlier. An adult life crisis can come anytime. We may have grown out of a formerly comfortable job. Perhaps we feel new urgings for a more satisfactory relationship than we have settled for. From our recovery experience we know that crisis can bring growth.
Courage is required of us from the cradle to the grave. Change continues throughout life With courage, we can face our crises and the changes that come, and eventually we find the gift of new growth.
Help me find courage enough to live this day and meet the challenges it brings.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
Love is not getting, but giving. It is sacrifice. And sacrifice is glorious! --Joanna Field
How easily we mistake attention for love. Even more easily, we trick ourselves into thinking our ability to control someone signifies love - especially theirs for us. But love is something far different from either attention or control. Far different.
Love frees others from our grasp--and lets them return on their own. Love is placing another's personal needs above our own, without regret. Love is selfless, yet it exhilarates the self. Giving love softens our edges, completes us, and connects us to the people with whom we are fulfilling our destinies.
Wanting love is a normal human desire, not one we should deny. And we shall receive love, the less our emphasis is on getting it, the more on giving it. We invite love when we freely and honestly give it. Another invitation for love comes from loving ourselves; self-hatred, which trapped many of us for years, hampers us no longer.
Love inspires--ourselves and those we give it to. It brightens our way, lessens our burdens, makes possible our rightful unfolding.
I won't look for love today. I will just give it. It will bless me tenfold.


You are reading from the book The Language Of Letting Go.
Timing
If we could untangle the mysteries of life and unravel the energies, which run through the world; if we could evaluate correctly the significance of passing events; if we could measure the struggles, dilemmas, and aspirations of mankind, we could find that nothing is born out of time. Everything comes at its appointed moment. --Joseph R. Sizoo
Timing can be frustrating. We can wait and wait for something to happen, and it seems to be forever until it comes to pass. Or, suddenly, an event or circumstance is thrust upon us, catching us by surprise. Believing that things happen too slowly or too quickly is an illusion. Timing is perfect.
Today, I will trust and work with Divine Order. I will accept the timing in my life today and in my past as being perfect.


I can be centered and at peace inside when the world is going my way, as well as when things are happening that are not my choice. I am learning to focus on this newly found inner peace, especially at times of confusion and stress. --Ruth Fishel

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In God’s Care

God made the world round so we would never be able to see too far down the road.
~~Isaak Dinesen

When our addictive behaviors had control of us, we probably would have laughed if someone told us we would be in a Twelve Step program someday. We spent a lot of our time trying to control and predict the future, and we fought anything that threatened the delusion that we could.

When we were ready, our program was there. We discovered that this is a daily program, that by letting God unfold our life twenty-four hours at a time we are released from our obsession to control everything. One of the best gifts of our program is discovering that our Higher Power is in charge of every situation. And as a result, our obsessive need to control no longer controls us.

So now we are free to fully experience this moment. We can trust we will benefit somehow because each moment is a gift from God.

Whatever God wants me to know today is sufficient.

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Journey to the Heart

You Have the Power to Redefine Your World

One power we gain on our journey to the heart is the ability to redefine what we believe. We learn to see things in a new way.

We usually have a definition for most areas of our lives, particularly important areas such as work, love, money, and ourselves, but we’re not always conscious of it. The experiences we go through can help our definitions surface, help us see more clearly how we define these areas. That’s called growth. This growth, this process of redefining, will happen naturally on our path. But we can also consciously, actively work on our definitions.

Ask yourself if you’re defining something or someone right now in a way that you’d like to change. Perhaps a work relationship, a love relationship, a project, or an issue is causing you distress. You may find you have the power to redefine this area in a way that minimizes or reduces your pain.

A healing professional and friend once taught me a technique that can be used on any subject you’re trying to define. On a sheet of paper write down everything you currently believe, including and especially everything negative, about the subject or issue. Include all the “I Can’t's” and the “Wny Nots.” That’s your current definition.

On a clean sheet of paper write down how you want to redefine this area, and your involvment in it. Write down everything you want it to be, what you wish for it, what you think the highest truth possible about this subject could be.

Burn the paper with the old definitions. Let the smoke clear away from your eyes. Save your new definition. Then watch how the new definition comes to life and take shape.

You don’t have to let past definitions of life, love, God, and yourself limit you anymore. You are free to redefine and help create the life you choose; you’re free to see life in a new way.

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More Language Of Letting Go

Don’t cut yourself on your gifts

Mishaps are like knives, that either serve us or cut us, as we grasp them by the blade or by the handle.
–James Russel Lowell

Success rains down for no apparent reason. Tragedy strikes like a freight train. We’re left to deal with the results. We can allow our egos to swell over our sudden good fortune, or we can humbly accept the fruit of our labor and continue to better ourselves. We can lie down and give up after a tragedy, or we can grieve, get up, and begin taking steps to move on with our lives.

Look at the situations in your life. Have you been given success? Are you learning the lessons of loss? Perhaps yours is the gift of the ordinary. Don’t walk too boastfully through your successes, nor remain too long in your grief. And don’t sleep through an ordinary life. You’ll lose your sense of wonder and awe, and when it ends, you won’t know where you’ve been.

We cannot always control what will happen to us. We need to let go of any false thoughts that we can. We can choose how we’ll handle the situation just like we choose how we’ll pick up a knife– by grabbing the handle or the blade.

Watch out for the cutting edge.

What you do with what you have been given is important.

God, thank you for what I’ve been given.

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Cause, Effect, and Transformation
Feeling Depleted

by Madisyn Taylor

If you are feeling depleted, your body is asking you to take time to make some real changes in your life.


There are times in our lives when it seems our bodies are running on empty. We are not sick, nor are we necessarily pushing ourselves to the limit—rather, the energy we typical enjoy has mysteriously dissipated, leaving only fatigue. Many people grow accustomed to feeling this way because they do not know that it is possible to exist in any other state. The body’s natural state, however, is one of energy, clarity, and balance. Cultivating these virtues in our own bodies so that we can combat feelings of depletion is a matter of developing a refined awareness of the self and then making changes based on our observations.

A few scant moments of focused self-examination in which you assess your recent schedule, diet, and general health may help you zero in on the factors causing your depletion. If you are struggling to cope with an overfull agenda, prioritization can provide you with more time to sleep and otherwise refresh yourself. Switching to a diet containing plenty of nutritious foods may serve to restore your vigor, especially when augmented by supplements like B vitamins or ginseng. Consider, too, that a visit to a healer or homeopath will likely provide you with wonderful insights into your tiredness. But identifying the source of your exhaustion will occasionally be more complicated than spotting a void in your lifestyle and filling it with some form of literal nourishment. Since your earthly and ethereal forms are so intimately entwined, matters of the mind and heart can take their toll on your physical self. Intense emotions such as anger, sadness, jealousy, and regret need fuel to! manifest in your consciousness, and this fuel is more often than not corporeal energy. Conversely, a lack of mental and emotional stimulation may leave you feeling listless and lethargic.

Coping with and healing physical depletion will be easier when you accept that the underlying cause might be more complex than you at first imagined. A harried lifestyle or a diet low in vital nutrients can represent only one part of a larger issue affecting your mood, stamina, and energy levels. When you believe that you are ultimately in control of how you feel, you will be empowered to transform yourself and your day-to-day life so that lasting fatigue can no longer gain a foothold in your existence. Published with permission from Daily OM

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A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

If we examine every disturbance we haved, great or small, we’ll find at the root of it some unhealthy dependency and its cnsequent unhealthy demand. So let us, with God’s help, continually surrender these crippling liabilities. Then we cna be set free to live and love. W may then be able to Stwlfth-Step ourselves, as well as others, into emotional sobriety. Do I try to carry the message of The Program?

Today I Pray

Ma I first get my emotional and spiritual house in order before I seek to carry out serious commitments in human relationships. May I look long and thoroughly at “dependency” — upon alcohol or other drugs or upon other human beings — and recognize it as the source of my unrest. May I transfer my dependency to God, as I understand Him.

Today I Will Remember

I am God-dependent.

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One More Day

Never bend your head. . . Look at the world straight in the face.
– Helen Keller

Pride is elusive when we’re hurting emotionally. We may act and feel overwhelmed. It is very difficult to be mindful of all we can accomplish and we may focus on what is out of our reach. Or we may tend to hide from our problems by withdrawing from social gatherings or by isolating ourselves emotionally. feeling ashamed that we are hurting makes asking for help very hard.

Now, as we hide less often from our feelings we find it easier to face the world straight on. We may not have made this transition easily or even by ourselves, but we are making it with the help of loving friends. Increasingly we accept our limitations, make the effort to do what we can, and ask for help when we must. And with this, we raise our heads with pride.

I need not be ashamed when I must ask others for help.

[bluidkiti]

March 13

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
I never dreamed of so much happiness when I was the ugly duckling. --Hans Christian Andersen
The ugly duckling was not really ugly at all, he was just different. The other ducks teased and pecked and even bit him until the ugly duckling flew away. He wandered around for a year, and was treated as an outcast everywhere. In the spring, he saw a group of swans on a lake, and wanted very much to join them. As he swam out toward them, he was astounded to notice his reflection in the water--he was a swan! The other swans welcomed him warmly, and found him to be beautiful.
Most of us go through times when we feel different from those around us. These are painful and lonely times, but it doesn't mean there is anything wrong with us. Like the ugly duckling, we will come into a time when we will be loved. All the pain and loneliness we have felt will help us fully appreciate the acceptance when we find it.
How can I treasure the ways I am different from others today?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
Victory is won not in miles but in inches. Win a little now, hold your ground, and later win a little more. --Louis L'Amour
How much fuller each day feels when we can be patient and accept the inches we have progressed. Yet, we are aware of large problems which require miles of progress. We may want others in our lives to change quickly, we may be impatient with a work situation, or we may feel angry about an addiction.
Perhaps the spiritual message to us is we need to surrender to time. We are on the road moving in the direction of recovery. The forces of progress are at work. Our growth now may come in learning patience and trusting this process. Looking back we might see a mile of progress. It was made an inch at a time.
Today, I will accept my progress. There are many rewards already.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
People need joy. Quite as much as clothing. Some of them need it far more. --Margaret Collier Graham
Life is not without pain and travail. They are necessary to new awareness which prompts growth. And the gift of growth is joy. Pain and joy are thus intertwined. It is possible to feel only the burden of pain and not the exhilaration of joy, however.
Before seeking help to change our lives, many of us were heavily burdened by pain. But we were unable to open ourselves to the knowledge made possible by that pain. We were on a treadmill, accumulating painful experiences at every step, unable to capture the joy that was ever present.
We can have hope. Joy does await each of us today. We must open our eyes to it, just as we must open our hearts to one another. We must be willing to peel away the layers of pain to expose the core, the seedling of joy. And we need joy in our lives, just as surely as we need rest and a good diet. We need the light heart that joy fosters for a better perspective on the many experiences we'll face today, and every day.
Recovery has given me this new option. It guarantees me that every hurdle will be lightened. The knowledge that joy is inherent, within every experience, is mine, now and forever.


You are reading from the book The Language Of Letting Go.
Clarity and direction
In spite of our best efforts to work our programs and lean on Gods guidance, we sometimes don't understand what's going on in our life. We trust, wait, pray, listen to people, listen to ourselves, and the answer still does not come.
During those times, we need to understand that we are right where we need to be, even though that place may feel awkward and uncomfortable. Our life does have purpose and direction.
We are being changed, healed, and transformed at levels deeper than we can imagine. Good things, beyond our capacity to imagine, are being prepared and brought to us. We are being led and guided.
We can become peaceful. We do not have to act in haste or urgency just to relieve our discomfort, just to get an answer. We can wait until our mind is peaceful. We can wait for clear direction. Clarity will come.
The answer will come, and it will be good for us and those around us.
Today, God, help me know I am being guided into what's good about life, especially when I feel confused and without direction. Help me trust enough to wait until my mind and vision are clear and consistent. Help me know that clarity will come.


I have a purpose today. As I let go and let God, This purpose is becoming more and more clear. My heart is full of joy and love as I move towards God's Will for me. --Ruth Fishel

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Journey to the Heart

Connect to Creativity

The more open and connected you are to the world around you, the more creative you will become.

You will become more creative in your own growth and in how you live your life. You will be more creative in problem solving in work and play. You’ll be more willing to try new things– whether it’s learning to play a flute, build a stone fence, ride a horse, or create a Japanese garden in your front yard. You’ll find yourself more open in solving problems with loved ones, trying less traditional approaches than you might have considered in the past. You’ll find yourself gaining insights, information, and healing from sources you may have previously overlooked. Your participation in all your activities will be less controlled and more spontaneous.

You will hear the universe prompting you more. You will imagine more. You will recognize the quiet voice of intuition, the voice of your heart. You will see possibilities. And because you are open to your heart, the guidance of your inner voice, you will know what to do, and when to do it.

The more connected you are to the universe, to life, to yourself, the more creative you will be.

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More Language Of Letting Go

Say whatever when it’s out of your hands

We cannot control everything that happens to us. But we can control our response to those things. We cannot control the feelings of others– their fear, their power trips, their issues. All that we can choose is how we want to respond.

Maybe you have been wronged. Maybe you have had a dream taken from you due to the actions of another. What are you going to do about it? You can give up and give in, or you can make the best of the situation, move on if you can, or make a life where you are.

Say whatever.

Learn to live and let live.

You can start over, again and again, if necessary.

God, give me the strength to stand up when the actions or thoughts of others drag me down. Help me practice right thought and right action. Help me walk the path that is set before me, no matter what it may bring.

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The Question of Worthiness
Shifting into Gratitude

by Madisyn Taylor

When we question whether or not we are worthy of something it is important at that time to shift into gratitude.


We all know what it’s like to finally get something we want, only to find ourselves feeling as if we don’t deserve it. Whether it’s a car, a new job, or a date with someone wonderful, we suddenly feel as if we are not up to it. Something in us wants to reject this gift from the universe, perhaps because it requires that we think of ourselves in a new way or makes us question why we should have something that others don’t have. If these feelings of unworthiness are not consciously acknowledged, they can lead us to sabotage ourselves out of the gift being offered. Perhaps the best way to avoid rejection and sabotage is to simply shift into a state of gratitude, bypassing the question of worthiness altogether.

The question of whether we or anyone else deserves something is not really in our jurisdiction. These themes play themselves out in ways we can’t fully comprehend—on the level of the soul, over the course of many lifetimes. What we do know is that the universe has its own way of shifting the balance over the course of time so that all things are ultimately fair. We can trust in this process and understand that when a gift comes our way, it is because we are meant to have it. Otherwise, it would not be available to us. Accepting the gift with gratitude and using it to the best of our ability is true humility.

When we receive a gift and find that feelings of unworthiness crop up, we can simply acknowledge the feelings and then remind ourselves that they are beside the point. We might say to ourselves, “I am meant to have this.” As we allow ourselves to accept the gift, we might feel tenderness in our hearts that naturally shifts into a deep feeling of gratitude. As we sit for a moment, consciously holding the gift in our hands or in our hearts, we say “yes” to the universe’s many blessings, and we also say “thank you.” Published with permission from Daily OM

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A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

All my life, I looked to others for comfort, security and all the other things that add up to what I now call serenity. But I’ve come to realize that I was always looking in the wrong place. The source of serenity is not outside, but within myself. The kingdom is within me, and I already have the key. All I have to do is to be wiling to use it. Am I using the tools of The Program on a daily basis? Am I Willing?

Today I Pray

God gave me the courage to seek out the kingdom inside myself, to find that well-spring within me which has its source in the never-ending, life-giving river of God. May my soul be restored there. May I find the serenity I seek.

Today I Will Remember

To seek the inner Kingdom.

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One More Day

The longer I live the more beautiful life becomes.
–Frank Lloyd Wright

When we were younger, day and night were two separate entities. Day was when we played and night was when we slept. The distinction is not that sharp as we get older, especially if we have any problems with disturb our sleep. Worry and pain have a tendency to make nights much longer — and lonelier.

What looked hopeless the night before can take on a whole new light in the morning. It would be wonderful if we could learn to treat each new day with the same freshness we had as children. We can learn, once again, to experience and to savor each each moment. Once we separate the more likely we are to allow ourselves wonderful days again.

My expectations are that I will achieve the best of reach day has to offer.

*****

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In God’s Care

Inspirations never go in for long engagements; they demand immediate marriage to action.
~~Brendan Francis

God speaks to us in many ways at many times. If we are spiritually alert, we will know it when it happens. A stray thought occurs; we overhear a bit of conversation; a passage in something we are reading suddenly stands out–and we know we have connected. A feeling of assurance and peace comes over us.

The trouble is that we might acknowledge this contact only briefly, and then it slips away. The time to act passes. The favor we could have done; the advice of support we could have offered; the help we could have given or received–all are missed opportunities.

When God speaks, we must do more than listen.

Today I will act when inspired.

[bluidkiti]

March 14

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
Each man with a new idea is a crank until the idea succeeds. --Mark Twain
What does it mean to be different? How does it feel? Is it okay to act or look or be different from everyone else at times? Sometimes, maybe even most of the time, it feels safer to blend into the crowd. We don't want to stick out like a sore thumb. But sometimes it's when we are different that we discover new things no one has ever thought of or done before.
We don't want to spend our whole lives doing only what others do. And there are times when we must take a stand if what others are doing is wrong. Perhaps it's good practice to try to do some little things differently once in a while, to stand out from the crowd, just to get use to it. After all, if no one ever dares to be different, how would our world ever change for the better?
What little thing can I do to stand out from the crowd today?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
This above all, to refuse to be a victim. Unless I can do that I can do nothing. --Margaret Atwood
Men have often become victims by seeing themselves as saviors. We forgot that we have needs too. We thought if we gave enough, our needs would eventually be met. In the process we became great controllers, not for the sake of power, but to make everything okay. We turn ourselves inside out to make our mates happy or to please our children or friends. But being a savior is a disrespectful role to play. When people became angry with us for it, we absorbed their anger and felt misunderstood.
No relationship is healthy for either person if one is victim. We must do our loved ones the favor of letting them see our strength--let them bump up against it--even when that means we say a loud and strong no! After we have said no, our yes is much more believable.
Today. I will take responsibility for my own life and try not to be a savior for others. I won't undermine my relationships by being a victim.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
The child is an almost universal symbol for the soul's transformation. The child is whole, not yet divided. . .when we would heal the mind. . .we ask this child to speak to us. --Susan Griffin
Was there ever a time when we did not feel divided from ourselves? Occasionally we get a glimpse of what such spiritual wholeness would be like, but most of the time we struggle with feelings of conflict, unevenness, a divided heart. Perhaps, "the child" is a metaphor for a spiritual guide, like our own higher power, that can help us in our journey toward self-acceptance.
"I may not be perfect, but parts of me are excellent," writes author Ashleigh Brilliant. If we can be happy with this proud, funny boast then perhaps we can stop berating ourselves for our imperfections. If we dwell on our own contradictory impulses, we give them too much important, too much power.
Let me trust to my glimpses of harmony and wholeness and be grateful for the richness of my spirit.


You are reading from the book The Language Of Letting Go.
Trusting Ourselves
Trust can be one of the most confusing concepts in recovery. Who do we trust? For what?
The most important trust issue we face is learning to trust ourselves. The most detrimental thing that's happened to us is that we came to believe we couldn't trust ourselves.
There will be some who tell us we cannot trust ourselves, we are off base and out of whack. There are those who would benefit by our mistrusting ourselves.
Fear and doubt are our enemies. Panic is our enemy. Confusion is our opposition. Self-trust is a healing gift we can give ourselves. How do we acquire it? We learn it. What do we do about our mistakes, about those times we thought we could trust ourselves but were wrong? We accept them, and trust ourselves anyway.
We know what is best for us. We know what is right for us. If we are wrong, if we need to change our mind, we will be guided into that--but only by trusting where we are today.
We can look for others for support and reinforcement, but trust in ourselves is essential.
Do not trust fear. Do not trust panic. We can trust ourselves, stand in our own truth, stand in our own light. We have it now. Already. We have all the light we need for today. And tomorrow's light shall be given to us then.
Trust ourselves, and we will know whom to trust. Trust ourselves, and we will know what to do. When we feel we absolutely cannot trust ourselves, trust that God will guide us into truth.
God, help me to let go of fear, doubt, and confusion--the enemies of self-trust. Help me go forward in peace and confidence. Help me grown in trust for myself and You, one day at a time, one experience at a time.


I will value myself today both for my perfections and especially for my imperfections. --Ruth Fishel

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Journey to the Heart

Observe Yourself

Watch yourself. That’s not a grim admonition. It’s a call to observe yourself and is a helpful tool on the journey.

When you get stuck in a behavior, stuck in a pattern, stuck in a place, a thought, a feeling, a job, or a relationship and you don’t know how to get unstuck, watch yourself. When you’ve tried everything you know and your feelings and old ways of reacting still come to the fore– even when you don’t want them to and especially when you’ve made an effort to do things differently– watch yourself. When it feels hopeless, when it seems things will never change or shift, when you can’t help yourself and it doesn’t look like those around you can either, look at yourself.

The act of watching ourselves, neutrally observing ourselves without judgement or reproach, can be a powerful tool for change. If you’ve tried and tried to change but it hasn’t worked, then watch yourself. Watch what you say, what you think, how you feel, how you act, how you react. Don’t try to stop yourself. Don’t judge. Just observe. Do it as long as you need to, although it may not take long.

Watch yourself. Then watch how you grow and change.

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More Language Of Letting Go

Learn something new about yourself

Wildfires scorch large chunks of the Western United States every summer. It’s part of the natural cycle of things. After a while, nature decides that it’s time to start over and a patch of the woods goes up in smoke.

This year, one fire burned near Mesa Verde National Park in southwesten Colorado. I read the news wires with interest, hoping that the archeological sites there wouldn’t be destroyed. The crews worked on the fires, and though there was damage in the area, the main ruins were left unharmed. While the fires had burned thousands of acres around the park, they had also done something else– they had burned away the undergrowth that had sprung up around twelve perviously undiscovered sites.

Sometimes life sends fires raging through our lives,too. Those fires are also part of the natural cycle of things. Life, nature, our Higher Power says it’s time to start over again.

Use misfortune as an opportunity. Who knows? That fire rampaging through your life just might clear away the brush of the past. Keep your heart open and stay aware. You might learn something new and previously undiscovered about yourself.

God, help me stay alert to the lessons of today.

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In God’s Care

We are all special cases.
~~Albert Camus

We spend so much time and energy comparing ourselves to others and far too frequently end up feeling inferior. Perhaps someone at work is more articulate than we are or an acquaintance always seems more striking and self-assured. And most of you know couples who seem to have the perfect relationship while we continue to struggle in ours or have no significant other.

On occasion we might even feel superior to some people–like the gruff man in line ahead of us at the bank or the rude cashier at the grocery store. But in all cases, the moment we compare and thus create a separation between ourselves and others, we deny the blessing of God’s all-encompassing plan for each of us.

We are all one in God. When we realize our connection to one another, we learn our task is to care for each other rather than artificially set ourselves apart.

I will look around me carefully today and notice how I’m connected to others rather than how I’m separate.

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Giving Your Gifts to the World
Being Happy with Your Job

In our search to define ourselves, we often look to our job to show us our worth. Society does not judge all professions equally, however, and it is not uncommon for the individuals who hold what others may consider to be ordinary or menial jobs to feel that they themselves are ordinary or menial. Yet, in truth, many wonderful and wise people throughout history have held what have typically been perceived as ordinary jobs, and this in no way has had any bearing on whether or not they have managed to contribute their skills and talents to the world. Whether you work in business, education, medicine, retail, or another profession, you worth is inherent to who you are and not what you do for a living.

A job that you enjoy, lets you meet your needs, and allows you to live in accordance with your values will always be more gratifying than a high-status job that you dislike. But while experiencing professional satisfaction can be a vital part of being fulfilled by your work, it is important to remember that it is possible to find happiness in any job. This is because what you do is often less important than how you do it. Your attitude and intention can turn a mediocre job into work that fulfills you because of the way that you approach it. If you do your job well and what you do benefits others, then you are doing work that is making this world a better place.

If you are happy in your current line of work and feel that it allows you to be yourself and live authentically while meeting your emotional and physical needs and allowing time for you to enjoy the fruits of your labor, then you have found a job that adds value to your life. If you are a waitress, then be the best waitress you can, take pride in your work and others will notice your passion. You can contribute your talents and skills to this world while doing any job. It is not the kind of work you do that allows you to be of service. It is you who must choose to be of service through the work that you do. Published with permission from Daily OM

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A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

One thing that keeps me on the right track today is a feeling of loyalty to other members of The Program, no matter where they may be. We depend on each other. I know, for example, that I’d be letting them down if I ever took a drink. When I came into The Program, I found a group of people who were not only helping each other to stay sober, but who were loyal to each other by staying sober themselves. Am I loyal to my group and to my friends in The Program?

Today I Pray

I thank God for the loyalty and fellowship of the group and for the mutuality of commitment that binds us together. May I give to the group in the same proportion that I take from it. Having been a taker during so many of my years, my giving used to be no more than a commodity, for which I expected to be paid in approval or love or favors. May I learn the joy of pure giving, with no strings attached, no expectations of reward.

Today I Will Remember

A perfect gift asks nothing in return.

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One More Day

A cheerful face is nearly as good for an invalid as healthy eather.
–Benjamin Franklin

Health changes, like other changes in life circumstances, cna undermine friendships. When we are dealing with chronic pain or discomfort or when we have become impaired with illness, some friends just aren’t sure how t act under the new circumstances.

People who love us want to help us; they want to be with us. The hard part for u is how to let them. Visits won’t be easy for us or them at first because our lives and relationships are changed by illness. But soon we realize that we still care for and need these special people and that we want to show our affection, during the trying times as well as during the better times.

I can find comfort and stability by maintaining my friendships.

[bluidkiti]

March 15


You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
The difficulty in life is the choice. --George Moore
How we choose to spend our time says much about what is important to us. If we have no goals, we may try to kill time. If we have too many goals, there may not be enough time in the day to do all we set out to do. We must make some choices based on our values. We may need to take more time for some things, and let go of others. For example, this year will we try to learn to play the guitar? Perhaps we have finally decided to drop out of that club which seems to have little purpose. Will we give more time to work, or less time? With each of these choices, we shape our lives. We can do it with the touch of an artist if we pay attention to the choices we are making.
What is truly important to me today?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye. --Antoine de Saint Exupery
It has been said that intuition is a talent of women, but in this program we, as men, are learning to listen to our own inner feelings. This is a strength which has nothing to do with gender. Many times we have a quiet inner knowing of something, but in the past we developed insensitivity to these messages. Our growing self respect includes the ability to stand up for what simply feels right. We don't have to prove anything to ourselves. If we dismiss our own private feelings, all we have left to go on is someone else's idea of reality.
This realm of inner feeling is the realm of wisdom. It is the creative part, the mysterious part, the spiritual part. It is the foundation of honesty with ourselves. In these quiet moments, we are more able to perceive what we know in our hearts. As we grow, we respect and trust it more.
Help me respect my private messages from within.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
Flattery is so necessary to all of us that we flatter one another just to be flattered in return. --Marjorie Bowen
We are all deserving of unconditional love and acceptance. And all the people in our lives, past and present, deserve our unconditional love and acceptance, too. However, it's doubtful that we either feel it all of the time from others or give it away.
It's human of us to find fault--to have expectations that are too high. But for this we pay a price. Instead of experiencing our lives serenely, contentedly, flowing with what is, we often criticize, judge, and feel generally disgruntled throughout the day. What a waste! We do have another choice, fortunately. We can let go and let God, and live and let live. Also we can recall, today and every day, that we are all special individuals in this world who are loved, fully, by our Creator.
The greatest contribution we can make to the lives of others is to be affirming. We can let our spouse, children, and friends know we care about them. That we love and accept them. The love that we also long for will come back to us. We thrill at being affirmed. And we will thrill at affirming.
It feels good to help another feel appreciated. Love and acceptance is my lifeline, from God around us all.


You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
Removing the Victim
Dont others see how much Im hurting? Cant they see I need help? Dont they care?
The issue is not whether others see or care. The issue is whether we see and care about ourselves. Often, when we are pointing a finger at others, waiting for them to have compassion for us, its because we have not fully accepted our pain. We have not yet reached that point of caring about ourselves. We are hoping for awareness in another that we have not yet had.
It is our job to have compassion for ourselves. When we do, we have taken the first step toward removing ourselves as victims. We are on the way to self-responsibility, self-care, and change.
Today, I will not wait for others to see and care; I will take responsibility for being aware of my pain and problems, and caring about myself.


My Higher Power guides me in directions that fills positive needs in my life today. I have grown to see that my true needs are love and peace and joy. --Ruth Fishel

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Journey to the Heart

Learn to Say Good-Bye

Sometimes we need to say good-bye. Some good-byes come suddenly, without warning. Others are anticipated. Sometimes they’re a relief. And sometimes they hurt deeply. We say good-bye to things, people, and places. We say good-bye to beliefs and behaviors that become outdated.

Occasionally along the journey we need to say good-bye to something else,too– our dreams.

Dreams are precious. They become embedded in our minds and our hearts. When they die, it can be painful to let go of them. But if we’re not careful, dead dreams we haven’t released can sabotage our lives and hearts. We will continue to try to place people and things in the vacant roles in our dreams. Our dead dreams will, in fact, be controlling our lives and blocking our hearts. Living with dreams that are dead closes the door to finding new visions and creating new dreams.

If you can’t see today or tomorrow clearly because of yesterday’s dreams, it may be time for a funeral. Tenderly take your dearest dreams, your highest hopes and aims– the ones from yesterday that are now never to be– and place them gently in the ground. Tell them how dear they were, and are. But tell them also, it’s time to say good-bye. Cover them up. Dry your eyes.

And open yourself to the new hopes and dreams of today.

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More Language Of Letting Go

Let go of the controls

“You have the controls,” my fllight instructor says. “No, you have the controls,” I say back. “No I don’t,” he says. “You do.”

My banter with my flight instructor can be amusing at times. It’s not so funny when we fight about issues of power and control in our lives. And usually it goes the other way. We don’t want to give the controls to someone else; we want those reins ourselves.

We want to get our way. And we get upset when things don’t work out. Sometimes, after we’ve been working on ourselves and our control issues for a while, we begin to get complacent. Because we’ve been so effectively using and directing our power, we rarely get in battles we can’t win. Things work out smoothly. We mostly get our way, because we’re not trying to control what we can’t. That’s when it’s easy to think we’re more powerful than we are.

Are you engaged in a power struggle with someone or something you can’t change? Spend a moment thinking about it. Is that really the way you want to use your energy and power, trying to do the impossible, creating rifts, and fighting battles you can’t win? When we try to control someone else or events beyond the scope of our power, we lose.

When we learn to discern the difference between what we can change and what we can’t, we usually have an easier time expressing our power in our lives. Because we’re not wasting all our energy using our power to change things we can’t, we have a lot of energy left over to live our lives.

Learn to say whatever when you don’t get what you want. Learn to let things be the way they are.

God, help me let go of my need to control and to be open to the flow of the universe.

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In God’s Care

You should practice humility first toward man, and only then toward God. He who despises men has no respect for God.
~~Paracelsus

It is easier for us to be humble before God than before people. When we have to admit we need help, we are swallowing a a dose of humility, but if it’s just between us and God, it’s not as hard to take.

Being humble with our fellow human beings is different. An act of humility before a visible, breathing, thinking witness may be frightening. The witness, after all, could be judgmental.

Are we afraid to be vulnerable? More importantly, can we afford not to be? When we can face fellow suffers and admit the need for help, recovery begins. Humbling ourselves in this way is our introduction to Divine power: through the compassion our brothers and sisters show for us, we come to know the love of God.

I receive help for all my spiritual needs by being open, first to my brothers and sisters. and then to God.

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The Valley of Despair
Seeds of Light

by Madisyn Taylor

Even in our darkest times, there are seeds of light within ourselves, we need only call them forward.


Anyone who has walked through the valley of despair and come out the other side knows that even in that darkness, seeds of light can be found. Often their tendrils reach out of the gloom and into the daylight alongside the journeyer who emerges from that deep sorrow. When we find ourselves in a place of despair, it can help us to know this, so that we don’t give up. We can stop, take a deep breath, and remind ourselves that we will find ourselves on the other side of this troubled time, and that we may even emerge with something new to offer.

It seems that despair has been around for as long as humans have been able to express themselves, and many of the great artists, teachers, and visionaries have labored through times of depression and hopelessness. Their words, images, and lives can serve as beacons in the darkness, even if they can’t always immediately lead us out. In the end, we must find our own way, and this is why despair often overwhelms us when it comes; we doubt that we have the resources to contend with such a formidable presence all by ourselves. This is when we must come to our own aid and know in our hearts that we have what it takes to keep moving forward in the general direction of the light.

Even though we must ultimately rely on ourselves, this doesn’t mean we can’t ask for help. Our friends and families can help us, as can our inner guides and helping spirits. They can serve the purpose of a fire that burns throughout the night, keeping us warm, and providing a light by which we might see the changes we may need to make in order to move forward. In addition, there truly are seeds of light inside us, however small, waiting to unfurl their green shoots, if only we will give them the time. Published with permission from Daily OM

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A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

There have been days during my recovery when just about everything seemed bleak and even hopeless. I allowed myself to become depressed and angry. I see now that it doesn’t matter what I think, and it doesn’t matter how I feel. It’s what I do that counts. So when I become anxious or upset, I try to get into action by going to meetings, participating, and working with others in The Program. If God seems far away, who moved?

Today I Pray

May I not be immobilized by sadness or anger to the point of despair. May I look for the roots of despair in my tangle of emotions, sort out the tangle, pulll out there culprit feelings, acknowledge that they belong to me. Only then can I get into gear,m take action,m begin to accomplish. May I learn to make use of the energy generated by anger to strengthen my will and achieve my goals.

Today I Will Remember

To sort out my feelings.

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One More Day

A man without a plan for the day is lost before he starts.
– Levis K. Bendele

Some mornings we are tempted, especially when we are having more than our usual share of pain, to resist the demands and responsibilities of the day before us. We are enticed by the thought5 of making a cup of coffee, climbing back into bed with the newspaper, and hiding from the world.

Although emptying, this is usually not a good plan for us, and what we need is a plan that encourages us to live the day fully. We may actually have to contrive a plan to push us into action. Personal care, chores needing to be done, letters or phone calls to friends, a trip to the store for groceries — these emphasize our importance and the importance of the day. Without a plan, we risk wasting twenty-four hours in loneliness and self-pity.

I and this day are important, and my plan reflects this.

[bluidkiti]

March 16

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
'Tis God gives skill, but not without men's hands. He could not make Antonio Stradivarius violins without Antonio. --George Eliot
When she was four years old, she climbed onto the piano stool. To her parents' astonishment, a simple prelude she'd heard on the radio flew across the keys from her fingers. That very week they found her a teacher, and the house was filled with the music of her developing talent.
While other girls played, made the honor roll, starred on the basketball team, and dated boyfriends, she sat inside at her beloved piano and practiced. At seventeen, when she made her debut, the critics said, "She's a natural. A genius!"
We know she was no natural, but through hard work, she made her piano playing part of her nature. When we put love into our labor, our own dreams grow into being.
Am I willing to make some sacrifices today to do the things I really want to do?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
When a man's self is hidden from everybody else ... it seems also to become hidden even from himself, and it permits disease and death to gnaw into his substance without his clear knowledge. --Sidney Jourard
A man's recovery is in knowing himself honestly and learning to have loving relationships with others. Many of us have had close calls with death as the consequence of our addictions or codependency. We ignored the dangers in our lives and many of us neglected our health. We wore ourselves out and wasted our energies.
Spiritual recovery and physical health go hand in hand. In recovery, moving toward fullness in life, our selves are returned to us. We leave behind our old learning and habits because they were lethal. We are becoming men who tune in to ourselves and to others around us. We are looking at ourselves and saying, "I'll work with it!"
I will not hide myself; I will continue to be open with myself and others.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
True intimacy with another human being can only be experienced when you have found true peace within yourself.
--Angela L. Wozniak
Intimacy means disclosure--full expression of ourselves to another person. Nothing held back. All bared. There are risks, of course: rejection, criticism, perhaps ridicule. But the comfort we feel within is directly proportional to the peace we've come to know.
Each day we commit ourselves to recovery, we find a little more peace. Each conversation we have with our higher power brings us a little more security. Each time we turn our full attention to another person's needs, we feel our own burdens lightened.
Peace comes in stages. As we continue to accept our powerlessness, the depth of our peace increases. Turning more often to a power greater than ourselves eases our resistance to whatever condition prevails. Forgiving ourselves and others, daily, heightens our appreciation of all life and enhances our humility. Therein lies peace.
We each are a necessary part of the creative spirit prevailing in this world. The details of our lives are well in hand. We can be at peace. Who we are is who we need to be.
Intimacy lets me help someone else also live a full and peace-filled life. I will reach out to someone today.


You are reading from the book The Language Of Letting Go.
Positive Energy
Its so easy to look around and notice what's wrong.
It takes practice to see what's right.
Many of us have lived around negativity for years. We've become skilled at labeling what's wrong with other people, our life, our work, our day, our relationships, our conduct, our recovery, and ourselves.
We want to be realistic, and our goal is to identify and accept reality. However, this is often not our intent when we practice negativity. The purpose of negativity is usually annihilation.
Negative thinking empowers the problem. It takes us out of harmony. Negative energy sabotages and destroys. It has a powerful life of its own.
So does positive energy. Each day, we can ask what's right, what's good - about other people, our life, our work, our day, our relationships, ourselves, our conduct, our recovery.
Positive energy heals, conducts love, and transforms. Choose positive energy.
Today, God help me let go of negativity. Transform my beliefs and thinking, at the core, from negative to positive. Put me in harmony with the good.


Choosing positive thoughts and making positive choices fill me with new strength, confidence and excitement. I can feel positive energy flow through me with every positive thought I choose. --Ruth Fishel

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Journey to the Heart

Become Willing to Heal Your Heart

We don’t open our hearts by being a tower of strength. We don’t open our hearts by glossing over things in our head. We open our hearts by feeling what we feel. We open our hearts by being vulnerable, honest, and gentle.

We’ve become so strong, so self-sufficient. I can deal with that we say. No big deal. I’ll keep moving on.

Yet many circumstances we’ve been through, and some we’re going through now, cause break lines in our heart. Some of the fractures are small. Some are big. They really hurt. Maybe certain people in our lives weren’t there for us, aren’t there for us now in a way we’d like them to be. Maybe some deceived us unconsciously or betrayed us deliberately. I can deal with that we say. I understand. They have their own issues. I forgive.

Yes, people do have their own issues. And we do forgive. But now it may be time to learn gentleness, compassion, understanding, and forgiveness for ourselves as well.

We don’t open our hearts by ignoring the break lines. We take our hand, knowing it’s held by God, and gently run our fingers across each crack. Yes, it’s there. Yes, I feel it.

Yes, I’m ready to heal my heart.

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More Language Of Letting Go

Don’t be a back seat driver

I was walking through a toy store one day when I saw a little toy steering wheel attached to the tray of a stroller. The child could play with the wheel and pretend that he or she was controlling the direction of the cart. The steering wheel wasn’t attached to anything; someone else was behind the stroller, pushing it here or there. The child could steer all he or she wanted to, but if Mom was going to the hardware department, then the child was going there,too.

What a good lesson to teach children at such an early age: no matter where you steer, something bigger than you is going to push you wherever it wants.

We soon outgrow the stroller and then burst into adulthood. First we learn to drive– finally a wheel that does something! Now we’ve got real freedom! But the car needs gas, we have a curfew, and there are speed limits and driving laws. Or we graduate from school and move into the real world. Finally no more parents controlling our every move. But then there is rent, and the boss, and the roommates, or a spouse and children to consider.

No matter how much we grow, where we go, or how old we get, there is someone else above, someone bigger, pushing us in this direction or that. Sorry, no new car this year, you’ve got a different lesson to learn.

We can want things, pray for things, and hope that things will come to pass. But ultimately, we’re not in control. Instead of spending our time and energy trying to get someplace else, we can learn the lesson and enjoy the beauty of the life we’ve been given.

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In God’s Care

As the ripples caused by a flung stone stir the surface of a whole pond, so your joy-making shall spread in ever-widening circles.
~~God Calling, March 10th

We might all have friends who stir up bubbles of joy within us. We love being in their presence. A gloomy day doesn’t darken their mood, as it might ours, and we wonder where their joy comes from. The answer is simple. Somehow, they have discovered that they have some choice as to their mood, and in most situations they decide to experience joy. We can choose the same for ourselves.

Our feelings, actions, and attitudes are within our personal realm of control. To pretend that only people and circumstances are what make us happy or angry is denying what God has given each of us: the power to make choices about who we are every moment.

To feel joy is often a decision no more difficult than to feel sorrow. Choosing to see our blessings, even in the wake of turmoil, will bring us joy. And then we, too, can encourage joy in others.

My joy can be my decision. I’ll make joy my mood of choice whenever possible today.

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Answering the Call
Taking Responsibility for Your Destiny

by Madisyn Taylor

Each and every day you have the opportunity to answer your own call and take action toward creating the life you want.


There are those of us who believe that our lives are predestined and that we should resign ourselves to our lots in life. Yet the truth is that it is up to each one of us to decide what that destiny will be. While each of us is born with a life purpose, it is up to us whether or not we will say yes to fulfilling it. And just like when we choose what to eat, who to keep company with, and whether to turn right or left when we leave our home everyday, choosing to say yes to your destiny is a decision that can only be realized when you take action to make that choice a reality.

Whether you believe it is your destiny to be a parent, an adventurer, an artist, a pioneer, or a spiritual guru, saying yes to your destiny is only the first step. While manifesting your destiny starts with knowing what you want and believing you can attain your goals, there are then the actions that must be taken and the decisions to be made before your destiny can truly happen. When you take responsibility for fulfilling your destiny and begin acting with the intention of doing so, you not only take fate into your own hands, but also you become the hands of your own fate. Doorways inevitably open for you to step through, and every choice you make can be a creative act toward realizing your goals and dreams. You begin to follow your instincts and intuition, recognize opportunities when they are presented to you, and seize those golden moments. You also begin to recognize the decisions that may not serve this greater picture and can more easily push them aside.

Remembering that the decision to fulfill your destiny is always a choice can be empowering. Knowing you are fulfilling your destiny because you want to, rather than because you have to, can make a huge difference. When you are freed from obligation, obstacles in your way become challenges to be overcome, and the journey becomes an adventure rather than the obligatory steps you are being forced to take. Your destiny may be waiting for you, but whether or not you meet your destiny is up to you. Your fate is in your hands. Published with permission from Daily OM

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A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

The Program teaches us that we are bodily and mentally different than our fellows. We are reminded that the great obsession of every abnormal drinker — and every one of us who is otherwise addictive — is to prove that somehow, some day, we will be able to control our drinking,, eating or gambling. The persistence of this illusion is astonishing, we are told, and many pursue it to the gates of insanity or death. Have I conceded to my innermost self that, for me, “One is too many and a thousand not enough..”?

Today I Pray

May I have no illusions about someday becoming a moderate drinker or drug-user after being an obsessive one. May I muffle any small voice of destructive pride which lies to me, telling me that I can now go back to my former addiction and control it. This is a Program of no-return, and I thank God for it.

Today I Will Remember

My goal must be lifelong abstinence — a day at a time.

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One More Day

Time ripens all things. No man’s born wise.
– Cervantes

One moment in time, a phrase from an old song that still rings true. In a single moment we could decide the balance of how we will live our lives. Split-second decisions, not all good ones, permeate the fabric of our lives, of everyone’s lives — regardless of medical problems.

Sometimes we are very sorry about a decision we made too quickly, a decision which may alter the course of our lives for a short while or even permanently. Perhaps the car we insisted on having is a lemon, or we may not like the new community into which we impulsively moved. We have to learn to live with our decisions, at least until we make a decision to change. Ponder a decision just a moment longer. Each experience can deepen our wisdom.

I will attempt to take my time when making decisions.

[bluidkiti]

March 17

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
Love is always open arms. --Leo Buscaglia
There is a story about a boy who left home and dishonored his father by spending a large amount of money on fast and reckless living. When the boy's money ran out, he was faced with the prospect of returning home to face his father, knowing the father had every reason to be disappointed in him. Filled with fear and shame he approached his home, his mind racing with words of apology. Before the boy could say a word, his father rushed to him with open arms and hugged his lost son in joy and love.
Have we done this? Have we found it in our hearts to approve whatever a loved one does, even if we would have wanted something different?
Love like this is the highest kind of love. It finds joy in others no matter what, because it recognizes the freedom of those we love, and doesn't chain them to our own wants. It is the same kind of love God has for us.
Are my arms open today?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
The reward of friendship is itself. The man who hopes for anything else does not understand what true friendship is.
--Saint Ailred of Rievaulx
The comfort of a true friend in a time of trouble, the strength we sense in being with someone who truly knows us, the affirmation of life that comes with enduring friendships - no other experience is like these. Recovery, once our addictive behaviors end, is mostly through relationships. In this program we are developing a friendship with ourselves, with other men and women, and with our Higher Power.
True friendship happens when we lower our guard and let our feelings show. It happens when we listen without judgment. It accumulates over time in many little experiences with someone. There is friendship in returning to someone when we feel offended or hurt so the relationship can be repaired - and in returning to him when we have been the offender. Sometimes friendship means humility, or accepting our worthiness to be forgiven. The development and deepening of our friendships, with other men, with women, and with ourselves sustains us in recovery.
Today, I will be true in my friendships.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
A woman who is loved always has success. --Vicki Baum
Being loved, and knowing that we are loved, assures us of our connection to the world outside of ourselves. It affirms us as participants in the bigger picture. And all of us need to know that we count--that what we say and do matters to others--that we are contributing in an important way.
Often we feel unloved, however. And we search for love. We may have begged for love and still didn't feel it. We have probably become very self-centered in our search. Fortunately, the program helps us to give love to others; the paradox is that love is returned, tenfold.
The wonders of love are many. Love is a healing balm for wounds. And it nurtures, both the one loving and the one loved. Love is an energizer. It spurs us on to successes in work and in play. Love multiplies. If we aren't feeling loved, we can love someone else--and love will visit us, too.
We can help the women in our lives find the successes they deserve. The confidence to tackle new situations is packaged in the gift of love. We need to help one another count.
My love of another is a contributing factor in her success. Her loving gratitude will enhance my own endeavors. I will take a moment, today, with a friend who needs my love.


You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
Empowering
You can think. You can feel. You can solve your problems. You can take care of yourself.
Those words have often benefited me more than the most profound and elaborate advice.
How easy it is to fall into the trap of doubting others and ourselves.
When someone tells us about a problem, what is our reaction? Do we believe we need to solve it for the person? Do we believe that that persons future rests on our ability to advise him or her? Thats standing on shaky ground - not the stuff of which recovery is made.
When someone is struggling through a feeling, or a morass of feelings, what is our reaction? That the person will never survive that experience? That its not okay for someone to feel? That he or she will never get through this intact?
When a person is faced with the task of assuming responsibility for their life and behaviors, what is our response? That the person cant do that? I must do it myself to save him or her from dissipating into ashes? From crumbling? From failing?
What is our reaction to ourselves when we encounter a problem, a feeling, or when we face the prospect of assuming responsibility for ourselves?
Do we believe in others and ourselves? Do we give power to people - including ourselves - and their abilities? Or do we give the power to the problem, the feeling, or the irresponsibility?
We can learn to check ourselves out. We can learn to think, and consider our response, before we respond. Im sorry youre having that problem. I know you can figure out a solution. Sounds like youve got some feelings going on. I know youll work through them and come out on the other side.
Each of us is responsible for ourselves. That does not mean we dont care. It does not mean a cold, calculated withdrawal of our support from others. It means we learn to love and support people in ways that work. It means we learn to love and support ourselves in ways that work. It means that we connect with friends who love and support us in ways that work.
To believe in people, to believe in each persons inherent ability to think, feel, solve problems, and take care of themselves is a great gift we can give and receive from others.
Today, I will strive to give and receive support that is pure and empowering. I will work at believing in myself and others - and our mutual abilities to be competent at dealing with feelings, solving problems, and taking responsibility for ourselves.


Today I know I have a right to be alive and happy and full of joy. Today I trust that I am where I am supposed to be, and am moving in the right direction. --Ruth Fishel

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Journey to the Heart

Cherish Hope

It was a beautiful city in Idaho. The lake that ran alongside the highway was so clear and blue, I pulled the jeep to the roadside just to stop and stare. The air was clear. The city felt light, airy, buoyant. It’s name was hope.

I didn’t stay long. I didn’t need to. But I needed to drive by, drive through, pause for a moment to remember another important power to discover and cherish on our journey. Hope is airy, almost intangible, yet if we don’t have it, we know it. Hope is simple. Clear. Light. Our hearts, our souls, need a good glimpse of it every so often, just to keep us going.

Even those times we can’t have what we want, we can be open to seeing its light shining unexpectedly in another direction, like this small town that caught my eye.

Cherish hope. It adds buoyancy to the spirit, lightness to the day.

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More Language Of Letting Go

Don’t avoid the void

I was sitting at dinner with a group of friends in a restaurant one evening. Everyone but one person was done eating. Feet were shuffling under the table. We were ready to go. One member of the group, an older woman, was picking at her meal. She had ordered dessert, but hadn’t eaten it yet. Instead, she slowly sipped her coffee.

“I don’t eat my dessert until I’ve finished coffee,” she said. when the waiter asked if he could take her plate.

All eyes at the table watched as she took a tiny sip, placed the cup down, and chattered, telling stories and jokes, making meaningless conversation. We watched eagerly as she started to pick her fork up to take a bite of dessert, then sighed quietly as she changed her mind, set the fork down, and began to tell another story.

She was alone, widowed, and her children lived in another state. It was obvious that she was trying to stretch dinner out with her friends as long as she could. She was trying to fill up that empty, silent place we call the void.

There’s a lot of talk in life and in this book about doing, achieving, and going for what we want. There’s much spurring on to activity that shouts, “Yes, I’m alive. And I’m fully and richly living my life the best I can.”

In all the busyness and living, there needs to be mindfulness and careful attention paid to another part of life, too. That part is the repetitive and natural cycle that some people call “the void.”

It’s an empty space in our lives.

The void can be a small space in our lives– lasting a few days or weeks. Or it can go on longer. That relationship has ended. We’re alone. We don’t know what to do next. Or that cycle in our lives has ended– maybe we’ve graduated from school or college, and we don’t know where to go next. Maybe our time as a parent has ended. Maybe someone we loved, a roommate or best friend, who was an important part of our lives has moved away.

Don’t be afraid of the void. Postpone it for a while, if you must. Linger at dinner with friends, refusing to finish your dessert. As dark, cold, and empty as it feels, the void is a friendly place. Its rhythms are slower and often more confusing than other cycles in our lives, but the rhythms of this cycle are still there.

Remember those quiet times in your life, the ones you’ve gone through before, when one cycle has ended and another has not yet begun. Remind yourself when that void comes along that you don’t have to be frightened of it. It’s not the end. It’s only a creative and necessary pause, a cycle of its own, in the cycles and rhythms of life.

God, give me the courage to step into the void in my life with dignity, faith, and a sense of humor. Help me cherish the unknown as much as I enjoy activity and clarity.

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In God’s Care

You have to have a talent for having talent.
~~Ruth Gordon

Each of us brings different gifts along on our journey. We all have a variety of talents We don’t however, always know how to use them. Some people seem to know how to put their talents to good use. Many of us botch them until we get help from God, who gave them to us.

Each of our talents has a purpose. We weren’t given them by accident. We all have talents. And, of course, combinations of talents. But we don’t live up to our potential without God’s direction.

I put my talents in God’s hands so that I can live at full capacity.

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Permission To Feel
Pushing Away Emotions

Throughout our lives, we may experience emotions that disturb or distress us. Often, our first reaction is to push our feelings away. We may say, “I don’t want to think about that right now, I’ll think about it later” and we bury our emotions, deny the validity of our feelings, or distract ourselves with other concerns. But the diverse emotions you experience are neither good nor bad—they are simply a part being human. Choosing not to experience pain, anger, or other intense feelings could cause those feelings to become buried deep into your physical body. There, they may linger unresolved and unable to emerge, even as they affect the way you experience the world. Allowing yourself to experience all of your emotions rather than push the more painful ones away can help you come to terms with your feelings so you can experience them and then move on.

It is possible to bring forth the old feelings you have pushed aside and experience them in a safe and enriching way. It may sound silly to set aside time to feel your old wounds that you haven’t dealt with, but this can be a very beneficial healing experience. Find a safel place and pick a time when you can be alone. Make sure that you feel secure and comfortable in your surroundings. Bring to mind the circumstances that originally triggered the emotions you’ve been pushing away. You may need to revisit these circumstances by reading relevant entries in your journal or using visualization to relive your past. Once you have triggered your long-denied emotions, let yourself feel your feelings, and try not to judge your reactions. Cry or sound your emotions if you need to, and don’t block the flow of your feelings. Allow any thoughts that are connected to your emotions to surface. As you release the feelings you have pushed inside of you, you will find yourself healing from ! the experience associated with these emotions.

When you deal with your feelings directly, they can move through you rather than staying stopped up in your body as emotional blocks that can sometimes turn into disease. Acknowledging your emotions, instead of pushing them away, allows you to stay emotionally healthy and in touch with your feelings. Published with permission from Daily OM

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A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

“Lead us not into temptation,” we pray, for we know with certainty that temptation lurks around the corner. Temptation is cunning, baffling, powerful — and patient: we never know when it will catch us with our guard down. Temptation could come in the siren song of a four-color advertisement, the fragment of a half-remembered song or, more obviously, in the direct urgings of another person. We must remain forever vigilant, remembering that the first drink gets us drunk, that the first obsessive bite will likely trigger an overeating orgy, that the first roll of the dice could well destroy our lives. Am I aware of my number one priority?

Today I Pray

God, lead me out of temptation — whether it is the jolly-but-alcoholic abandon of my peers at a special-occasion celebration, the pressure from my friends to “get in the spirit” of a party, the familiar aura of an apartment where joints are passed around, the sound of rattling dice, the smell of a bakery. May I know the limits of my resistance and stay well within them. May my surrender to the will of God give a whole new meaning to that old phrase, “Get in the spirit.”

Today I Will Remember

Get in the spirit.

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One More Day

Time is lost when we have not lived a full of human life, time enriched by experience, creative endeavor, enjoyment, and suffering.
– Dietrich Bonhoeffer

“I’ll never make it through today!” While we all may have had that thought from time to time, we did live through that day to rise the next morning and greet the new day. Time can go by very slowly when we are thinking of one but ourselves. Sometimes we can feel overwhelmed by fear of an uncertain future. We may even feel that we have been deserted by our friends and family in a time of need.

When overwhelmed with these helpless feelings, we can turn to our Higher Power for comfort and understanding. Knowing we don’t have to work through the details of our lives alone not only comforts us, it fills our minutes and days with positive thoughts and actions.

My Higher Power lends me strength to carry me through.

[bluidkiti]

March 18

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
Tyger, Tyger, burning bright, In the forests of the night; What immortal hand or eye, Could frame thy fearful symmetry? Did He who made the Lamb make thee? --William Blake
Is there a lamb and a tiger inside us? Is there any commandment, written on the sky or a stone tablet, denying us our perfect right to be both tiger and lamb? The tiger, beast made of fire and night, shows its teeth when it blazes with love; the lamb, orphan wrapped in soft blanket of cloud, weeps to receive that same love. So we give and take, are strong and weak, guilty and innocent, wrong and right. So we are balanced, even when we seem to be in conflict.
When we learn to accept all the things we can be, we will be able to love all the ways the world outside us can be.
What conflict is helping me grow today?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
Oh, that one could learn to learn in time! --Enrique Solari
A mark of genuine change, after the pleasure of newfound growth, may be the regret a man feels that he didn't learn sooner. When we learn something new, we see how it could have made our life better at an earlier time. We regret being stubborn, immature, or impulsive. Now we see our mistakes in a new light and it hurts. This is one of the pains of change. Some people turn away from growth because they refuse to tolerate the pain of honest hindsight.
We need to face these regrets, but not indulge in them. We take a bow to the past and move on to live in the only place we can - the present. We can acknowledge our guilt and remorse and then turn them over to the care of God. We can't change the past, but we can learn from it. Healthy recovery means an ever lighter load of regrets. Getting stuck in guilt over past deeds only repeats our mistakes by failing to use our learning today.
May I acknowledge and let go of my griefs and regrets so I can attend to life here and now.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
Noble deeds and hot baths are the best cures for depression. --Dodie Smith
Depression feeds on itself. With attention it worsens, but there are places for our attention. We can move our focus to a woman who is close by, a woman who is struggling to determine her direction in life. We can offer our ears. Or we can observe attentively, today, all the women, children, and men we see on the streets. When we notice their expressions, we realize they, too, may be suffering.
Doing something for someone else will lessen our own problems, no matter what the cause. In fact, just doing something will lift our spirits. Depression becomes habitual, and habits, even those that are detrimental, are easy to hang onto. When we take an action, even a small one, we can note the change: Action that benefits another is guaranteed to benefit us as well.
Depression does get worse with self-pitying attention; however, attention to ourselves that is nurturing has its place. We can pamper ourselves, but not pity ourselves. Pampering reflects approval, caring, self-respect; three attitudes inconsistent with depression. Even more than inconsistent, pampering and depression are incongruent.
Depression must be coddled to maintain it. It's my choice to move beyond it at any moment. I can put something besides my problem at my center today and enjoy the results.


You are reading from the book The Language Of Letting Go.
Safety
One of the long-term effects of living in a dysfunctional family - as children or adults - is that we don't feel safe.
Much of what we call codependency happens because we don't feel safe in relationships. This can cause us to control, obsess, or focus on the other person, while neglecting ourselves or shutting down our feelings.
We can learn to make ourselves feel safe and comfortable, as part of a nurturing, loving attitude toward ourselves.
Often, we get a feeling of safety and comfort when we attend Twelve Step meetings or support groups. Being with a friend or doing something nice for ourselves helps us feel protected and loved. Sometimes, reaching out to another person helps us feel safe. Prayer and meditation help us affirm that our Higher Power cares for us.
We are safe now. We can relax. Perhaps others haven't been there for us in a consistent, trustworthy way, but we are learning to be there for ourselves.
Today, I will concentrate on making myself feel safe and comfortable.


Today I will be part of the mainstream of life. I will share what I have when it can be useful, looking for opportunities to give to others the best of who I am. --Ruth Fishel

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Journey to the Heart

Heart Connections

I went into the office at the lodge where I stayed in Sedona. I turned in my room key, then pulled out my camera and took a picture of Marianne. We had only known each other for eight days, but I felt deeply connected to her. We had been through a series of experiences that would probably stay with me for life. They had changed my life.

When we hugged and said good-bye, I told her not to cry– but she did anyway. So did I. “Call me whenever you want,” she said. “I’ll be there for you.” I knew what she meant. She didn’t mean for me to call her on the phone, although that was okay,too. She meant call her in my heart, call her to me in spirit.

For a long time, our connections to people and places may have come from someplace other than our hearts. We may have been connected out of need, fear, unfinished business, or simply the unwillingness to leave– to know there was any other way to be connected. Or we may not have even felt particularly connected to the people around us.

Now is a different time. It is time now to let your connections come from your heart. Open up. Listen. Does someone have something to say, maybe only a sentence or two, that’s just what you need to hear? As you’re going through your day, does someone come to mind, someone you think about getting in touch with?

Don’t shrug off the things you know and sense. Be open to your inner voice. Do what it leads you to do. Love isn’t bound by time or space when our connections come from our heart.

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More Language Of Letting Go

Prayer helps

“Sometimes I talk myself out of praying,” Sheila said. “I convince myself that it’s just more work, because even if I pray about something, I have to do all the work,too.”

I sit down to write. The energy’s not there, but the deadline is. God, please help. I remember a joke I heard from someone, somewhere: “I love deadlines. Especially the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by.” I write anyway, putting one word in front of another. Then, from out of nowhere, comes a string of words I didn’t plan on, a new idea, a fresh perspective, a story, complete with ending. Wow! Where’d that come from?

An issue comes up in a relationship with a friend. He’s hurt and angry. His hurt and anger evoke more hurt and anger in me. I try to reason things out, listen to him, get him to see things my way. He feels justified. So do I. day after day, we work on the relationship. The strain continues. I don’t know what to do next. “God, please help me with this situation. Show me what to do next.” I keep talking to my friend. He keeps talking to me. Then one day, I feel less defensive and guilty. A new feeling surrounds the relationship. “I’m sorry,” I say one day. “So am I,” he says,too. Wow, I think. Where did that come from?

I stand on the scale, glaring at the numbers. I want to lose ten pounds. I start eating less, exercising more. A few days later, I get on the scale again. Dang. Gained a pound. I continue to eat less; the numbers don’t move. God, please help me drop this weight. Why am I holding on to it? I continue to watch my caloric intake and pay attention to exercise. One morning I get on the scale. Wow! I’ve lost five pounds. How did that happen?

Pray. let go. Then act as if you need to do all the work. Don’t plan on magic and miracles. But leave room for them,too.

God, help me remember that when I run out of myself, I run right into you.

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In God’s Care

The most exhausting thing in life…is being insincere.
~~Anne Morrow Lindbergh

The time-worn statement “Honesty is the best policy” holds special meaning to those of us in the program. Being honest with ourselves and with others is paramount to our recovery. But it’s also important for us to define our honesty.

Should we tell people that we don’t like them? Should we confess trangressions from past years if it hurts a loved one today? We each have to decide what honest means in different situations. Not acting or responding in accordance with our anxiety, particularly if we let that wisdome guide us in one instance and not the next.

We’ll know a deeper level of serenity when we decide to be consistently honest and sincere with our companions. A moment’s pause to let our Higher Power guide us will help us decide the best response for each situation.

I will seek God’s guidance as I learn to be more honest today.

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Detoxing Your Body
Inner Spring Cleaning

by Madisyn Taylor

All of our bodies need to detox once in a while and is a wonderful gift to your body, mind and spirit.


When you want to start with a clean slate in life, one way is to cleanse your body. Detoxifying can be done in many ways and for many reasons, depending on your specific goals. You may feel a physical need for cleansing, or a spiritual one where you would cleanse the areas of the body that correspond to your current life challenges. If you feel, for instance, that your inner self is not shining through as you would like, you may want to do a bathing detox to clean the skin of impurities so that you can radiate your inner health like a newly washed stained-glass window that lets the light shine through more brilliantly.

No matter how healthy and conscious our habits are, our bodies move with the cycles of life, which means that our cells sometimes need to fall like leaves from the trees before they can regenerate and be renewed. Just as we need to wash our bodies to remove the buildup of natural processes and contact with the world around us, we need to clean our bodies from the inside as well. So you may want to detoxify your blood or digestive system, or target specific buildup such as plaque or metals. Our bodies are the vessels that allow us to move through life, but we can treat them like wild gardens that need our attention to reach their full potential of beauty and balance in their ecosystem.

The first days of a detoxification process may bring to mind an image of the dust that gets stirred up during spring cleaning. You may feel a little worse before you feel better, but that may indeed be the universe’s way of showing us the benefits by contrast. We live in a world of dualities, so we may need to experience both sides of a situation in order to find our perfect balance. Once the impurities have been cleansed, you could experience a sense of lightness or clarity of vision and purpose. You will know it worked when you feel enhanced ease as you move through the world toward your goals. Published with permission from Daily OM

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A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

In the old days, we often had such devastating experiences that we fervently swore, “never again.” We were absolutely sincere in those moments of desperation. Yet, despite our intentions, the outcome was inevitably the same. Eventually, the memory of our suffering faded, as did the memory of our “pledge.” so we did it again, ending up in even worse shape than when we had last “sworn off,m” Forever turned out to be only a week, or a day or less. In The Program, we learn that we need only be concerned about today, this particular 24-hour period. Do I live my life just 24 hours at a time?

Today I Pray

May the long-term requirements of such phrases as “never again, ” “not on your life,” “forever,” “I’ll never take another..” not weaken my resolve. “Forever,” when it is broken down into single days — or even just parts of days — does not seem to impossible long. May I awake each day with my goal set realistically at just 24 hours.

Today I Will Remember

Twenty -four hours at a time.

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One More Day

An ordinary man can surround himself with two thousand books … and thenceforward have at least one place in the world in which it is possible to be happy. – Augustine Birrell

A flashlight. A winter storm. Secretly reading under the covers. As children, most of us escaped into books from time to time. Books were a private experience shared with no one. They could also be a warm family time of sharing.

Books will provide a window to the world, to adventures and faraway places that few people ever experience firsthand. Regardless of physical ability — or disability — we can generally find a way to read or listen to a book. We can shed, for a short while, some of the frustrations we experience. We can forget the ravages of illness. We can travel. We can dream.

Reading is a true gift which I can give myself.

[bluidkiti]

March 19

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
Where is the yesterday that worried us so? --Joan Walsh Anglund
In the fairy tale The Last Dream of the Old Oak Tree, the oak tree felt sorry for the day-fly. The day-fly only lives for one day, and the tree was already 365 years old. But the day-fly was so enjoying his one day that the tree's sympathy puzzled him. The day-fly said to the tree, "You may have thousands of my days, but I have thousands of moments to be pleased and happy in."
And so the day-fly continued to dance in the sun and smell the clover and honeysuckle. His day ended as happily as he spent it, and he settled down on a blade of grass.
If all of us could approach our day the way the day-fly does, as though this were our only day, we would spend less time worrying about yesterday and tomorrow.
How can I show my gratitude for the gift of this day?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
There seemed not to be another living thing in all the world. There was something of bliss in this stillness, and something ominous too. It was the kind of stillness that beckons us to turn inward, toward the beginnings of our existence. --Paul Gruchow
We cannot create profound stillness. We can allow it. We can move into it. We can receive it. Many of us have been frightened by such a stillness because we are not familiar with the spiritual moment. We felt moved, awestruck, and we may have run to escape that inward moment. Some men are endlessly busy just keeping the stillness at a comfortable distance. Many recovering men have unwittingly thrown themselves into a workaholic life because they were frightened by their emerging spirits.
We can change this pattern by allowing ourselves a little quiet at a time. At first, it may be just a few minutes alone. We may be more able to meet the stillness outdoors, or we can learn to be still in the presence of someone else. The stillness is a moment of meditation. It is contact with God.
God, give me the courage to allow spiritual experiences to be part of my life.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
I realized a long time ago that a belief which does not spring from a conviction in the emotions is no belief at all. --Evelyn Scott
>From pillar to post we bounced, most of us not knowing what we actually believed about nearly any situation before getting to this program. Perhaps we believed what was most convenient at the time because of the people we were with. And maybe we jumped the fence quickly when in a new setting. Values were sometimes talked about but not defined, and certainly not adhered to.
It's difficult to develop a strong sense of self, to have a very secure self-image when the parameters offered by a value system are lacking. Our values define who we are. They offer us direction when making choices. They quietly demand that we behave responsibly. Living in concert with our values brings peace to our souls.
Gone are the days when we rode first one fence and then another, never knowing what side of any issue we honestly believed in. The program has offered us a plan for living, a plan that erases the many uncertainties, the inner turmoil of past years.


You are reading from the book The Language Of Letting Go.
Staying Out of the Middle
I don't want to get in the middle, but . . . is a sign that we may have just stepped into the middle.
We do not have to get caught in the middle of other peoples issues, problems, or communication. We can let others take responsibility for themselves in their relationships. We can let them work out their issues with each other.
Being a peacemaker does not mean we get in the middle. We are bearers of peace by staying peaceful ourselves and not harboring turmoil. We are peacemakers by not causing the extra chaos created when we get in the middle of other peoples affairs and relationships.
Don't get in the middle unless you want to be there.
Today, I will refuse to accept any invitations to jump in the middle of others affairs, issues, and relationships. I will trust others to work out their own affairs, including the ideas and feelings they want to communicate to each other.
Today will have a clarity about it that I can appreciate. I know who I am. I know what I believe. All I need do is act accordingly.


Today I dare to openly express my needs and find healthy ways to get them met. I like feeling good today. I like myself today.
--Ruth Fishel

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Journey to the Heart

Learn to Heal Yourself

Sometimes we trick ourselves. If we feel unhappy, troubled, or scared, we race toward what we think will make us feel better. In desperation, in fear, we grasp for something, anything to stop our pain. Finding that job. Making more money. Getting married. Having a relationship. If I get that one thing I need, then I’ll be happy. Then my pain will stop.

Sometimes it’s true that finding the solution to a problem improves the quality of our lives. Having enough money enables us to fix the furnace when it breaks. Having people in our lives we love and who love us can be an important part of our happiness. Having work to do that we enjoy and that we feel is worthwhile helps us feel good about ourselves.

But when we’re in pain– no matter what’s causing it– the way to heal that pain doesn’t come from outside of ourselves. External circumstances don’t make internal emotions disappear. Even if we get what we think we want, the painful emotion we haven’t had the strength or courage to face will still be there.

The way to heal pain, the only way, is to feel and release it. Your pain is your pain. Your fear, desperation, and resentments are yours, too. All these emotions belong to you. Feel them, learn from them, and let them go.

Walk courageously each step of the path on the journey to the heart. Emjoy when the universe sends you its gifts– a lover, some money, a good job. But know the ultimate key to happiness lies not in external things, but within you. Feel all your feelings. Learn to heal yourself.

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More Language Of Letting Go

Lighten up

The matter at hand is serious. It’s grave. We need to get serious about the relationship. We need to get serious about the task.

Maybe what we really need to do is learn to lighten up.

Nations rise and fall, heroes are born and die, the sun rises and sets, and you want me to take seriously the notion that arriving to church wearing the right clothes is going to make any difference at all.

What matters is what’s in our hearts.

“The reason angels can fly is that they take themselves so lightly,” G.K. Chesterton once wrote. Once you stop taking yourself so seriously and let go of the gravity of all that you do, you can learn to fly,too.

God, help me lighten up.

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Working with Space
Intuit Your Home’s Decor

by Madisyn Taylor

When decorating spaces in your home, allow the space to speak to you by being still and observing each room.


When we decide the time has come to change the look or feel of our personal spaces, it is the spaces themselves that can provide us with the most useful guidance. Working with a single room, an apartment, or an entire house allows us to unearth the innate potential of these spaces and also better understand how we want to relate to them. To be conscious of the possibilities of a space, we need to listen to, look at, and bond with that space in a deep and personal way. Just as no two people are alike, no two rooms, however similar, are identical. The more we know about the spaces we wish to change, the better equipped we are to make them both beautiful and functional.

Before you contemplate colors and layouts, spend some time in the rooms you plan to modify. Observe the way light moves through each space at different times of day. In the course of a week or so, note those times when you feel drawn to a particular space. You may naturally gravitate toward one room when you want to relax and toward another when you want to socialize. Also, remember that not all rooms have to be used as originally planed, for example a dining room may make a wonderful sitting area. As you make these observations, think about whether the spaces under consideration remind you of anything or bring certain thoughts to mind. Writing your thoughts down can make the process of examination simpler. The discoveries you make regarding the rooms in your home can help guide you as you choose color schemes, furniture layouts, and decorative styles, so that you bring out the natural qualities of each using your creativity and eye for detail. Using the cues you pick up, yo! u can design a beautiful room that is bright and exciting, or one that calms the soul and invites meditation.

By treating the layout and décor of your personal spaces in this mindful way, you can honor their natural rhythms while creating a cohesive and comfortable home through which energy can flow unencumbered. The design elements you subsequently choose will work together like the diverse instruments that come together to form a symphony orchestra. Each will resonate harmoniously with the next, ensuring that your home resounds with a lasting message of beauty, serenity, reassurance, and comfort. Published with permission from Daily OM

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A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

I know today that “stopping in fo9r a drink” will never again be — for me — simply killing a few minutes and leaving a luck on the air. In exchange for the first drink, what I’d plunk down now would be my bank account, my family, our home, or car, my job, my sanity, and probably my life. It’s too big a price, and too great a risk. Do you remember your last drunk?

Today I Pray

May I be strong in the knowledge that God’s spirit is with me at all times. May I learn to feel His presence. May I know that nothing is hidden from Him. Unlike the world which approves or disapproves of my outward behavior, God sees all that I do, think or feel. If I seek to do His will, I can always count on His reward for me — peace of mind.

Today I Will Remember

God Knows all.

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One More Day

Faith is a holy cause is to a considerable extent a substitute for the lost faith in ourselves.
– Eric Hoffer

Busy! Busy! Busy! We might feel as though we’re living our lives on a treadmill — always on the go, helping, and giving our time to people and causes.

Service and volunteerism can be wonderful ways to help, but only if they augment an already full life. We truly are living on a treadmill if our involvement is an escape from facing our inner-most thought and fears. We are getting nowhere if our outside activities are all we have to wake up for each morning.

We begin to change when we honestly face our greatest fears. We can search our personalities to find our vulnerable points and then strive to correct what defects we can. It is then that we regain faith in ourselves and in our abilities.

Once I regain faith in myself I can open my heart to help others.

[bluidkiti]

March 20

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
I want, by understanding myself, to understand others. --Katherine Mansfield
Growing up to be the best people we can be is a lifelong process. As teenagers, we may have thought that twenty-one would be a magic year for us because then we would become adults. We'd be grown up and able to handle any problems that came along, if any did.
But the older we get, the more we realize that growing up is a process that never ends. We are always becoming the people we are capable of being. We're always learning new things about ourselves, and in that process, we're always coming to new understandings about other people and how we can get along with them.
How wonderful that life always offers us room to grow! It makes new discoveries possible all through our lives, and ensures us that we will always have something to offer.
What discovery have I made just today?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
New life comes from shedding old skins and pressing through the darkness toward the light. Spring is the season of new beginnings and of growth. --Karen Kaiser Clark
All of us in this program have had great turning points in our lives. In these new beginnings we have pressed onward or groped through the darkness, hoping to find the light, much like a new sprout arising from the cold soil in spring. Our recovery has pointed us toward the light. As spiritually alive men, we also have smaller beginnings all the time. Spring exists for us on the inside regardless of the time of year.
On this particular day, we can think about the changes we see growing in our lives. It may be unclear to some of us just what is changing or how. We may not be able to name the change or describe it until it's in the past. Springtime brings a feeling of liberation, and our growth in this program frees us from muddled thinking, denial, addictions, and codependency.
I am thankful for new beginnings in the world and the eternal spring within my being.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
There's a period of life where we swallow a knowledge of ourselves and it becomes either good or sour inside. --Pearl Bailey
For too many of us, feelings of shame, even self-hatred, are paramount. No one of us has a fully untarnished past. Every man, every woman, even every child experiences regret over some action. We are not perfect. Perfection is not expected in the Divine plan. But we are expected to take our experiences and grow from them, to move beyond the shame of them, to celebrate what they have taught us.
Each day offers us a fresh start at assimilating all that we have been. What has gone before enriches who we are now, and through the many experiences we've survived, we have been prepared to help others, to smooth the way for another woman, perhaps, who is searching for a new direction.
We can let go of our shame and know instead that it sweetens the nuggets of the wisdom we can offer to others. We are alike. We are not without faults. Our trials help another to smoother sailing.
I will relish the joy at hand. I can share my wisdom. All painful pasts brighten someone's future, when openly shared.


You are reading from the book The Language Of Letting Go.
Releasing
Let fears slip away.
Release any negative, limiting, or self-defeating beliefs buried in your subconscious too. These beliefs may be about life, love, or yourself. Beliefs create reality.
Let go. From as deep within as your fears, resentments, and negative beliefs are stored, let them all go. Let the belief or feeling surface. Accept it; surrender to it. Feel the discomfort or unrest. Then let it go. Let new beliefs replace the old. Let peace and joy and love replace fear.
Give yourself and your body permission to let go of fears, resentments, and negative beliefs. Release that which is no longer useful. Trust that you are being healed and prepared for receiving what is good.
Today, God, help me become willing to let go of old beliefs and feelings that may be hurting me. Gently take them from me and replace them with new beliefs and feelings. I do deserve the best life and love has to offer. Help me believe that.


I am becoming more open to look within me today for my solutions. I trust that I will find the right answers if I go quietly within and follow my inner guide. --Ruth Fishel

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Journey to the Heart

Learn to Heal Yourself

Sometimes we trick ourselves. If we feel unhappy, troubled, or scared, we race toward what we think will make us feel better. In desperation, in fear, we grasp for something, anything to stop our pain. Finding that job. Making more money. Getting married. Having a relationship. If I get that one thing I need, then I’ll be happy. Then my pain will stop.

Sometimes it’s true that finding the solution to a problem improves the quality of our lives. Having enough money enables us to fix the furnace when it breaks. Having people in our lives we love and who love us can be an important part of our happiness. Having work to do that we enjoy and that we feel is worthwhile helps us feel good about ourselves.

But when we’re in pain– no matter what’s causing it– the way to heal that pain doesn’t come from outside of ourselves. External circumstances don’t make internal emotions disappear. Even if we get what we think we want, the painful emotion we haven’t had the strength or courage to face will still be there.

The way to heal pain, the only way, is to feel and release it. Your pain is your pain. Your fear, desperation, and resentments are yours, too. All these emotions belong to you. Feel them, learn from them, and let them go.

Walk courageously each step of the path on the journey to the heart. Emjoy when the universe sends you its gifts– a lover, some money, a good job. But know the ultimate key to happiness lies not in external things, but within you. Feel all your feelings. Learn to heal yourself.

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More Language of Letting Go

Let go of what others think

We had gone for a walk in the snow down into the bowl of Bryce Canyon in Utah earlier that day. After a quick shower in the hotel room, we headed down to the restaurant for dinner. Our boots were soaked from the snow, so we wore our flip-flops to the restaurant.

The hostess was the first to notice. "Hey, you've got the wrong shoes on!" she admonished. "There's snow outside!"

"Yeah, I know. We're from California," Chip replied.

"Humph," the hostess sniffed, as she showed us our table.

When our server approached our table, the hostess was right there again, quick to point out our inappropriate footwear to him. We tried to explain that we had been hiking and our boots were wet, but it only set her off more.

"I certainly hope you didn't wear those," she said. "There's snow on the trails." Then she trotted back to her station.

Our server didn't care. He listened to the story about our hike, told us one of his own, and kept our glasses full.

Later during the meal, the hostess guided another couple past our table and pointed at our feet. "Look at these people," she said. "They're from California and they're wearing the wrong shoes!"

We giggled all through dinner that night, all because our hiking boots got soaked.

Sometimes what's appropriate for a situation just doesn't work for you and you're forced to improvise. Wear the wrong shoes if you must, but don't miss the party because of what someone else might think.


God, help me remember that the important thing is how I live, not how I look.

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A Separate Reality
Disconnecting from the Source

by Madisyn Taylor

We can all experience times when we feel disconnected from the universe, but you have never been abandoned.


We all experience periods where we feel separated from the loving ebb and flow of the universe. These times of feeling disconnected from the source may occur for many reasons, but self-sabotage is the most common cause for us choosing to cut ourselves off from the flow of the universe. We purposefully, though often unconsciously, cut ourselves off from this flow and from the embrace of humanity so we can avoid dealing with painful issues, shun the necessary steps for growth, or prevent the success that we are afraid of achieving from ever happening. When you choose to disconnect from the source, you block the flow of the universe’s energy from passing through you. You become like a sleepwalker who is not fully awake to life, and your hopes, plans, and dreams begin to appear as distant blurs on a faraway horizon. Universal support has never left you, but if you can remember that you became disconnected from source by choice, you can choose to reconnect.

Reconnecting with the universe grounds you and is as easy as you making a concerted effort to become interested in the activities you love or responding to what nurtures or stimulates you. You may also want to make a list of the activities and kinds of experiences that touch your soul. Try to pinpoint the times when you have felt fully engaged and aware and ask yourself what you were doing. But one of the easiest ways to reconnect is simply by stating the intention of doing so.

When you disconnect from the universe, your sense of purpose, creativity, and ability to be innovative are not as easy to access. You may also experience a deep and empty sense of longing or feel devoid of ideas or unworthy of love. It’s important, however, to recognize that being disconnected from the universe is never a permanent state, and it can be reversed any time you decide that you are ready to reconnect. When you are connected to the universe, all aspects of your being will feel alive as the flow of the universe pours through your being and into your life. Published with permission from Daily OM

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A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

The longer I’m in The Program, the more important becomes the slogan “First Things First” I used to believe that my family came first, that my home life came first, that my job came first. But I know today, in the depths of my heart, that If I can’t stay sober I’ll have nothing. “First Things First.” to me, means that everything in my life depends on my sobriety. Am I grateful fo be sober today?

Today I Pray

May my first priority, the topmost item on my list of concerns, be my sobriety — maintaining it, learning to live comfortably with it, sharing the tools by which I maintain it. When other things crowd into my life and I am caught up in the busyness of living, may I still preserve that first -of-all goal — remaining free of chemicals.

Today I Will Remember

First Things First.

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One More Day

Understanding human needs is half the job of meeting them.
– Adiai Stevenson

We may have needed constant reminding to do our chores when we were children. We expected to be told what to do. Today we are adults and are chronically ill, and we find ourselves giving reminders to the people around us. Now, however, the suggestions have to be extremely delicate and carefully given.

We can gently guide the behavior of spouse, friends, parents, and children regarding our medical problems. Our comments can be honest and direct: “It would help me if your would let me try to do things for myself before offering me your help.” Or “Please sweep the floor.” Or “Would you put the towels into the dryer?” Those around us are not able to read our minds. We can lear to say “I need” or “I want.” Our needs will be met if we ask directly.

Learn to ask for help is hard, but I can learn.

[bluidkiti]

March 21

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall, Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. --Mother Goose
Poor Humpty ended up such a scrambled egg. Maybe that's what comes from sitting too long in one place, choosing neither this way nor that, playing both sides against the middle. Maybe he played too much politics, got too much advice, had too much to think about. When the centipede was asked which leg he first moved when setting out on a stroll, he got those legs all tangled in his mind and couldn't walk at all. It is better to be simply moved by those around us, or by our Higher Power, with faith and love. When our thoughts fail, their hearts, hands, and eyes will show the way.
Do I sometimes decide my fate by refusing to decide?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
If I Had My Life to Live Over ... I'd relax.... I would take fewer things seriously. I would take more chances. I would climb more mountains and swim more rivers.... I'd start barefoot earlier in the spring and stay that way later in the fall. I would go to more dances. I would ride more merry go rounds. I would pick more daisies. --Nadine Stair
"Letting go" is a theme with many variations. When we live with gusto and are released to experience the full excitement of life, we are letting go. When we turn our lives and wills over to the care of our Higher Power, we are freed of many cares. If we orient our lives with a compass that always points to fear and insecurity, or to power and success, we are giving ourselves over to those forces. But we can orient our lives to our Higher Power's care and support. That makes it possible to drop our guard, allow for some mistakes, and delight in the pleasures of creation.
Today, let me forget my worries and enjoy the fullness of life.


You are reading from the book Each Day A New Beginning
Children are surely one of God's greatest gifts and truest challenges. To share your life with a child is to humble yourself so that you may learn from them and discover with them the beautiful secrets that are only uncovered in searching.
--Kathleen Tierney Crilly
Humility accompanies every experience wherein we let ourselves fully listen to others, to learn from them, to be changed by their words, their presence. Each opportunity we take to be fully present to another person, totally with them in mind and spirit, will bless us while it blesses them. Offering and receiving the gift of genuine attention is basic to the emotional growth of every human being.
Before recovering, many of us so suffered from obsessive self-centered pity that we seldom noted the real needs or pain of the people close to us. We closed ourselves off, wallowing in our own selfish worries, and our growth was stunted.
Some days we still wallow. But a new day has dawned. The Steps offer us new understanding. They are helping us look beyond ourselves to all the "children of God" in our daily lives. From each of them we have many secrets to learn.
I will be joyous today. Many secrets about life are mine to learn if I will stay close to all the people who cross my path. I will be mindful they are there because they have something to give me. I will be ready to receive it.


You are reading from the book The Language Of Letting Go.
Considering Commitment
Pay attention to your commitments.
While many of us fear committing, its good to weigh the cost of any commitment we are considering. We need to feel consistently positive that its an appropriate commitment for us.
Many of us have a history of jumping- -leaping headfirst- -into commitments without weighing the cost and the possible consequences of that particular commitment. When we get in, we find that we do not really want to commit, and feel trapped.
Some of us may become afraid of losing out on a particular opportunity if we don't commit. It is true that we will lose out on certain opportunities if we are unwilling to commit. We still need to weigh the commitment. We still need to become clear about whether that commitment seems right for us. If it isn't, we need to be direct and honest with others and ourselves.
Be patient. Do some soul searching. Wait for a clear answer. We need to make our commitments not in urgency or panic but in quiet confidence that what we are committing to is right for us.
If something within says no, find the courage to trust that voice.
This is not our last chance. It is not the only opportunity well ever have. Don't panic. We don't have to commit to what isn't right for us, even if we try to tell ourselves it should be right for us and we should commit.
Often, we can trust our intuitive sense more than we can trust our intellect about commitments.
In the excitement of making a commitment and beginning, we may overlook the realities of the middle. That is what we need to consider.
We don't have to commit out of urgency, impulsivity, or fear. We are entitled to ask, Will this be good for me? We are entitled to ask if this commitment feels right.
Today, God, guide me in making my commitments. Help me say yes to what is in my highest good, and no to what isn't. I will give serious consideration before I commit myself to any activity or person. Ii will take the time to consider if the commitment is really what I want.


God is guiding me in peace and calm today. I know that everything that upsets this feeling is not permanent and will pass. I no longer allow upsets to keep me from seeing the good in others. --Ruth Fishel

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Journey to the Heart

Nurture the Seasons of Your Soul

Study nature’s ways. Learn her rhythms, her seasons, her cycles. See how she hibernates and rests during the cold winter, using that time to replenish and heal. See how she bursts forth in a slow crescendo of green and bright colors over the spring, rejoicing in the inevitable new growth. See how she gives her all, her grandest performance, over the summer months before gradually descending into a final burst of changing colors in autumn. Watch her cool down, return to her depths, and again take time to replenish.

These same seasons are within us. There are times to take action, to be busily involved with creating and doing and participating and giving. There are quieter times when we are being prepared for those times of activity. We cannot give and give without taking time to replenish ourselves. There are times of gentle growth when the first blades of grass, the first signs of spring begin to emerge in our lives– whether those signal a new stage of personal growth, a new stage in a love relationship, or the first buds of life on a project we’re creating.

And each season, each time, leads into the next.

There is purpose and value in each day of your life, in each season of your life. Nurture your times of action, of creating, of doing, and value your quieter times of going within. The more you study nature, the more you will learn about yourself. Nurture and trust the seasons of your soul.

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More Language Of Letting Go

Letting go of finances

Letting go doesn’t mean we don’t care. It’s about having faith that things will work out. Let’s take a look at how letting go applies to the issue of money.

John had been an alcoholic for years. Over time, the disease destoyed his life, including his financial health. He hit bottom and finally began recovery. After a while, he was able to start making progress in life. But his finances were in terrible shape. For a while, he hid all the bills in a drawer. Then one day, he took out the bills and started to make a plan. Instead of feeling hopeless and overwhelmed, he applied the Twelve Steps to this area of his life. He called his creditors. He gave himself a budget. He did the best that he could and he let go of the rest.

Slowly, over the years, he began to rebuild his credit. He paid off his debts, a little at a time. He applied for a credit card, the kind you have to pay in advance. Then after a year, his limit was raised. He doesn’t use the card for credit; he uses it for a credit rating. He’s now got a checking and savings account. He pays his taxes and manages to save a little every week.

Sometimes things happen. Cars break down. People get sick. The rent gets raised. That unexpected expense comes up, out of the blue, just when you thought you were ahead.

Worry never helped.

An attitude of taking responsibility for myself did.

What we cannot do for ourselves, God will do for us. And God knows we need money to live here on earth. What was that the Bible said? Seek money first, and then you’ll have peace? Nope, I got that backwards. “Seek ye first the Kingdom of God and all else shall be added unto you.”

Manifest what you need from a place of responsibility, trust, and peace.

God, teach me to let go of worrying about money.

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Remembering Who We Are
Brave Spirits

Most of us are familiar with the idea that we are not human beings having spiritual experiences; instead, we are spiritual beings having human experiences. We hear this and even though we may experience a resounding yes in our bodies, we may not take the time to really acknowledge the truth of these statements. Integrating this idea into how we view ourselves can broaden our sense of who we are and help us appreciate ourselves as brave spirits on an important mission to learn and grow here on earth.

As spiritual beings, we are visitors in this physical realm. The fact that we came here and lost all memory of what happened to us before we were born is one of the many reasons that it takes so much courage for a soul to incarnate on earth. This is why spiritual inquiry so often feels like a remembering—because it is. Remembering that we are spiritual beings is part of the work that we are here on earth to do. When we operate from a place of remembering, we tap into the wisdom that our spirit accumulated even before we stepped into this lifetime. Remembering who we are can give us the patience to persevere when we become overwhelmed or frustrated. It can give us the courage to work through the most daunting challenges and help us trust the ancient wisdom we carry that is offered to us by our intuition.

We have chosen to be on earth because there is something we want to learn that can only happen by inhabiting a body. Some of us are here to repay a debt, learn about love, or teach forgiveness. Most of us are here for a combination of reasons, we carry this information in our souls, all we have to do is remember. As you go through your journey, try not to forget how brave you are, being here now. Honor yourself. Published with permission from Daily OM

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A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

The Program teaches us that we have an incurable illness. We alwys get worse, never better. But we’re fortunate in that our incurable illness can be arrested, so long as we don’t tkae the first drink one day at a time. Hightoned academic rsearch and ivory tower studies to th contrary, we know rom experiece that we can no more control our drinking than we can control the ocean tides. Do I have any doubt that I am owerless over alcohol?

Today I Pray

May I never fall prey to any short-term research sresults which tell me that alcoholism can be cured, that I would be safe to bbegin drinking again, suppoosedly, in a responsible manner. My experience — and the experience of those in The Program — will outshout such threories. May I know thaat my disease is arrestablke, but not curable. May I know that if I took up my active addiction again, I would begin whre I left off — closer than ever to possible death or insanity.

Today I Will Remember

Be wary of new theories.

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One More Day

It is a happy talent to know how to play. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

As the carefree days of childhood give way to adulthood, we sometimes forfeit too much of the child. We become what we think is mature — serious and busy. Quite unintentionally we might become caught up in the importance of being married, working hard at our jobs, raising children, or paying off the mortgage. Even at home we might be rushing here and there – mowing the lawn, getting a haircut, buying clothes or groceries, and performing all the small household chores which need doing regularly.

Where is the time we need for ourselves, to spend with friends, or just to play? We can find time, right now, if we want to. We can momentarily shrug off the demands of home or career and lend ourselves to carefree play.

It’s sometimes easy to be too serious. Today, I will let myself participate in play.

[bluidkiti]

March 22

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
Real men don't vacuum. --Anna Genich
Once, not so long ago, there was a family who tried to divide up housework equally. The father signed up for vacuuming, but he never got around to doing it.
One morning he told everyone about his dream the night before. He was lined up in the dining room with an entire football team, and they all ran in a line through the house, pushing the clutter and dirt up against the walls and out of the way. They came to a finish at the picture window, where the father turned and raised his arms in victory. Then he saw his wife watching him, so he explained, "Heroes don't vacuum."
Perhaps each of us is a hero at one time or another. In that case, we might take turns at different chores, rewarding the day's hero with a day off from vacuuming or dishwashing. When we work together to get the chores done, we become a family of heroes, and can feel a healthy pride in our warm, loving, and clean home.
How can we share housework more equally?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
Let no one be deluded that a knowledge of the path can substitute for putting one foot in front of the other. --M. C. Richards
Recovering men know this path is not always easy. We usually talk about the benefits of recovery and the many promises of the program. Today, in our fellowship, we talk of the challenges we must face in order to recover. Honesty may be the greatest challenge. It is frightening to be honest with ourselves about things we have never really admitted or faced before.
Sometimes we have new and confusing feelings and think something must be wrong with us. But we may be just experiencing the logical outcome of our earlier commitment to be honest. No one recovers by thinking about it. We must actively take each Step and meet the challenges presented. We are not alone with our difficulties. We are part of a large movement of men committed to recovery, and this quiet moment is one way in which we are simply putting one foot in front of the other.
Today, I pray for the courage to remain faithful when the fears and pains of my transformation are overwhelming.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
Reared as we were in a youth and beauty oriented society, we measured ourselves by our ornamental value. --Janet Harris
Rare is the woman who doesn't long for a svelte body, firm breasts, pretty teeth, a smooth complexion. Rare is the woman who feels content, truly satisfied with her total person. We are often torn between wanting to be noticed and yet not wanting eyes to gaze upon us.
We are all that we need to be today, at this moment. And we have an inner beauty, each of us, that is our real blessing in the lives of others. Our inner beauty will shine forth if we invite it to do so. Whatever our outer appearance, it doesn't gently touch or bring relief where suffering is--like our words which come from the heart, the home of our inner beauty.
Perhaps a better mirror for reflecting our true beauty is the presence or absence of friends in our lives. We each have known stunning women who seemed to cast only cold glances our way and handsome men who arrogantly belittled others. It's our inner beauty that is valued by others. The surprise in store for each of us is discovering that the glow of our inner beauty transforms our outer appearance too.
My beauty today will be enhanced by my gentle attention to the other people sharing my experiences.


You are reading from the book The Language Of Letting Go.
Letting Go of Being a Victim
Its okay to have a good day. Really.
Its okay to be doing okay and to feel like our life is manageable and on track.
Many of us have learned, as part of our survival behaviors, that the way to get the attention and approval we want is to be victims. If life is awful, too difficult, unmanageable, too hard, unfair, then others will accept, like, and approve of us, we think.
We may have learned this from living and associating with people who also learned to survive by being a victim.
We are not victims. We do not need to be victimized. We do not need to be helpless and out of control to get the attention and love we desire. In fact, the kind of love we are seeking cannot be obtained that way.
We can get the love we really want and need by only owning our power. We learn that we can stand on our own two feet, even though it sometimes feels good to lean a little. We learn that the people we are leaning on are not holding us up. They are standing next to us.
We all have bad days- -days when things are not going the way wed like, days when we have feelings of sadness and fear. But we can deal with our bad days and darker feelings in ways that reflect self-responsibility rather than victimization.
Its okay to have a good day too. We might not have as much to talk about, but well have more to enjoy.
God, help me let go of my need to be a victim. Help me let go of my belief that to be loved and get attention I need to be a victim. Surround me with people who love me when I own my power. Help me start having good days and enjoying them.


As I start this day with quiet meditation, I feel myself becoming still and at peace. At any time during the day I can bring my mind back to this moment. I will bring my attention and awareness back to the peace that I have when I am with my breath and I know that my breath is with me at all times, whether I remember it or not. --Ruth Fishel

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Journey to the Heart

Don’t Be Controlled by Love

Using love to control and manipulate is heartbreaking. It can break the heart of the person doing it, it can break the heart of the person it’s being done to.

So often, controlling through love is done almost unconsciously. It’s a dance people do out of habit to get their needs met. Their reasons don’t matter, although it’s easier to have compassion for those who control unknowingly than those who use the power of love maliciously and viciously.

What matters is how you respond if it’s being done to you. What matters is that you don’t do it to other people.

Open your heart and see the truth. Set yourself free. If someone is controlling you by using your love for them or your need to be loved, acknowledge it. If you are doing it to someone else, acknowledge that,too. Once you see the truth, you can set yourself free.

So much of what we need to do to free our hearts and souls is simply to acknowledge the truth. The rest will happen naturally.

Love has no price. It’s only love if it’s free.

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More Language Of Letting Go

Let go of the future

Many years ago, in ancient times, Moses led a group of slaves out of Egypt and back to their homeland. Along the way, they had to wander for many years through the Sinai Peninsula, a barren, rocky, lifeless stretch of land.

During their extended stay in the wilderness, God provided them with manna, a food that appeared out of nowhere and sustained the people with the nourishment they needed each day. The trick to this rhythm of trusting God, and receiving what they needed, was that any manna they received had to be used that day.

Manna couldn’t be hoarded. It could not be stored or saved up for a rainy day. If the people hoarded their manna, it would spoil and rot away. Or it would mysteriously disappear as magically and certainly as it had appeared.

Most of us know what it means to receive our daily bread. It’s the love, the guidance, the grace, and the material things we need each day on our journey.

Sometimes, we can sit down and anticipate the times to come. We can look at our money, our strength, our abilities, our stamina, and say wearily, “There just won’t be enough.” That’s because we’re looking too far ahead.

Look around at what you have available, this moment or this hour. Use the resources and gifts you’ve been given. Tomorrow’s manna will come at its appointed hour.

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Yellow Miracles
Daffodils

by Madisyn Taylor

Almost nothing else represents the emergence of spring as the beloved yellow daffodil happy and bright after a long winter's nap.


Some things on this earth look as if they were designed to bring happiness to the hearts of humans. The daffodil, with its bright yellow coloring and green stem, is one such creation. The daffodil makes its appearance in the spring, abundant and inexpensive, bringing gladness as sure as sunshine itself to whoever is lucky enough to receive a single stem, or a bunch, of these delicate yellow miracles. It is as if the sun has shed a layer of skin and fashioned a flower out of it.

Color psychologists suggest that too much yellow can be too stimulating, but in small doses it inspires hope and good cheer. The daffodil is a perfect-sized package of yellow for anyone feeling glum or energetically low. It can spur us to action or simply imbue us with a feeling of optimism as it vibrantly glows in our homes or on our desks at work. The daffodil’s presence is ideal in any region where sunshine is scarce as it seems to carry the sun in the soft flesh of its petals. The bulbs are not expensive, and the flowers give so much that you may decide to plant a few in your yard or in a window box. Then again, you may simply wait until they arrive in neat little bundles in the grocery store or flower shop. They are usually very reasonably priced, so you can afford to spoil yourself, and those you love, with a large bouquet.

A daffodil placed under the windshield wiper of a loved one’s car says, “Be happy! Spring has sprung! I love you!” A collection of stems gathered and placed in a Mason jar can be left on someone’s doorstep to remind them of the simple beauties that abound in this life. Don’t forget to bless yourself with a vase of these bright blossoms on your kitchen table or nightstand. Every time you see them, you will be filled with the happiness and warmth of the sun. Published with permission from Daily OM

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A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

Once in a great while, I find myself thinking that perhaps things weren’t quite so bad as they seemed to be. At such moments, I force myself to realize that my illness is talking to me, trying to tempt me in to denying that I am. In fact, afflicted with an illness. One of the key action steps of The Program is that we give our illness to God as we understand Him, accepting our powerlessness in the face of His greater Power. Do I believe that the grace of God can do fo rme what I could never do for myself?

Today I Pray

May I know that much of our lives depends on faith. For we cannot know the limits of space and time — or explain the mysteries of life and death. But when we see God working through us – and through others who have found new life in The Program — it is all the evidence we need to know that He exists.

Today I Will Remember

The Big Wheel runs by faith.

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One More Day

Courage is the resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear.
– Mark Twain

So many of us suffer from flagging self-esteem. This may occur for many reasons, all complex. When we finally decide we are going to create change in our lives, we may be uncertain as to how to make the change. How do we start? One of the best starting places is to adopt on premise of the Twelve Step Programs and begin to act “as if” we have all the confidence in the world, “as if” we have great faith in ourselves. We start to spend time thinking about the possibilities, rather than the impossibilities.

We all fear the unknown, but to act “as if” helps us deal with the things we can’t see. Eventually, contrived as it feels, our new behavior will become new habits, and we won’t need to act “as if” – because we truly “are.”

I am willing to try to act “as if” I can create change.

[bluidkiti]

March 23

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
It feels so good to cry. . . . --Susan Cygnet
Some of us were taught that it's bad to express our feelings directly--crying, wailing, jumping up and down for joy--that it's good manners to talk softly, slowly, and politely and to sit still.
But what happens to our feelings when we sit still? If they don't get expressed, they must be caught inside our bodies. Trapped feelings are like birds in a cage, or a rabbit in a trap--they try to get out any way they can. They peck on our heads and give us headaches. They scratch at our stomachs and make us hurt.
We must let them out. We must laugh and cry. Then our bodies will be happy, and our feelings will curl up in our laps like happy puppies.
Am I ignoring the physical symptoms of trapped feelings?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
If anything is sacred, the human body is sacred. --Walt Whitman
A renewed relationship with our bodies is part of our spiritual renewal. Perhaps we have not known our bodies as part of our spiritual selves. We may have treated ourselves and others as objects. Too often genitals were "tools" to be used, objects of our egos, or a way of taking care of someone else. Maybe we have used sex compulsively as an escape from other emotions. Men in recovery commonly encounter problems with sexuality. Those problems often come from knowing deep within that we must change, but not knowing how.
It helps to create new images in our minds. We can imagine a totally relaxed playfulness with our partners, with no goal in mind and no judgment. We can imagine our Higher Power being with us. We can imagine talking in detail with someone - our partner or a friend - about our feelings, anxieties, or frustrations with sex. We can imagine ourselves as a whole body, alone, not with a partner, and okay Bringing sexuality into the whole of our lives is a spiritual thing to do.
May I find ways to include sexuality in my spiritual awakening.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
On occasion I realize it's easier to say the serenity prayer and take that leap of faith than it is to continue doing what I'm doing. --S.H.
The pain of change is a reality. But so is the pain of no change--when change is called for. In spite of our desires, changing others will never be an option, whereas changing ourselves takes only a decision and is a choice always available.
We can take an inventory for a moment. What are we presently doing that makes us ashamed or angry or fearful? We can let go of that behavior and responsibly choose a new tack. If strength is needed, or confidence to try a new behavior, we can simply ask that it be ours. The Third Step promises that our lives are in God's care and our needs are always being attended to--not always our wants, but in every instance our needs.
Most of our struggles, today as in the past, are attached to persons and situations we are trying to forcibly control. How righteous our attitudes generally are! And so imposing is our behavior that we are met with resistance, painful resistance. Our recourse is now and always to "accept those things we cannot change, and willingly change that which we can." Our personal struggles will end when we are fully committed to the Serenity Prayer.
The wisdom "to know the difference" is mine today.


You are reading from the book The Language Of Letting Go.
Flack from Setting Boundaries
We need to know how far well go, and how far well allow others to go with us. Once we understand this, we can go anywhere. --Beyond Codependency
When we own our power to take care of ourselves- -set a boundary, say no, and change an old pattern - we may get flack from some people. That's okay. We don't have to let their reactions control us, stop us, or influence our decision to take care of ourselves.
We don't have to control their reactions to our process of self-care. That is not our responsibility. We don't have to expect them not to react either.
People will react when we do things differently or take assertive action to nurture ourselves, particularly if our decision in some way affects them. Let them have their feelings. Let them have their reactions. But continue on your course anyway.
If people are used to us behaving in a certain way, they'll attempt to convince us to stay that way to avoid changing the system. If people are used to us saying yes all the time, they may start mumbling and murmuring when we say no. If people are used to us taking care of their responsibilities, feelings, and problems, they may give us some flack when we stop. That's normal. We can learn to live with a little flack in the name of healthy self-care. Not abuse, mind you, Flack.
If people are used to controlling us through guilt, bullying, and badgering, they may intensify their efforts when we change and refuse to be controlled. That's okay. That's flack too.
We don't have to let flack pull us back into old ways if we've decided we want and need to change. We don't have to react to flack or give it much attention. It doesn't deserve it. It will die down.
Today, I will disregard any flack I receive for changing my behaviors or making other efforts to be myself.


Today, I no longer struggle to find my answers alone. I welcome and am open to positive and healthy support wherever I find it. --Ruth Fishel

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Journey to the Heart

Comfort Yourself

I was driving through Montana, on my way to a town on the Flathead Indian Reservation. I was going there because an old hotel, opened in 1928, noted for its medicinal mineral waters had caught my attention. As I pulled off the highway and began the drive down the side roads, I felt an environmental ambiance I hadn’t experienced before.

The hills were huge mounds, covered with a soft-green, grassy moss. Not steep sharp mountains; comforting, rounded hills– one after another. A gentle energy emanated from them. It was more than love. More than kindness. I felt comforted, embraced, almost held by Mother Earth in her bosom. My body relaxed. My spirit soared. I felt warm. Cared for. Nurtured. Comforted.

Comfort is a place we can visit often, as often as we need to. Although certain places and objects help comfort us, it is really a place within each of us. Some of us may have thought that comfort was a waste of time, but now we know that there is tremendous power in comfort, the power to heal. We no longer have to deprive ourselves of comfort, of that warm feeling of being nurtured. We can visit it for ourselves; we can take others there with us.

What brings you comfort? What makes you feel safe, cozy, warm, loved? What places? What people? What events? Learn to comfort yourself. Learn to accept comfort, and learn to give it. Go to that special place of comfort whenever you need to. Stay as long as you wish. The healing power of comfort will make life better.

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More Language Of Letting Go

Let go of the trappings

We call it keeping up with the Joneses. They buy a boat and we buy a bigger one. They get a new TV and we get a big screen. They start a business and we start planning our articles of incorporation and the first stock release. And while we’re so busy keeping up, we ignore our soul, the inner voice, that’s telling us that it really wants to teach children to read.

While it helps to identify with each other, we’re not the same. So why compare ourselves on the basis of material things?

Follow your own talent and heart. It may be that you are a talented public speaker, able to sway hundreds of people with your words. Or maybe you have the talent of friendship, and you’ve been sent to quietly, one-on-one, help those close to you walk their own path.

If you must compare yourself to something, compare your daily life to your ideals and dreams. Do they match? If those ideals and dreams bring great material wealth, that’s great. If they mean a life of quiet, anonymous service, that’s great,too. Yes, material goods can be fun. But they can also be a trap.

Are you walking a path with heart in your own life, regardless of what others have?

God, help me let go of the trappings. Teach me to walk my own path.

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Divergent Directions
Coping with People You Dislike

by Madisyn Taylor

When we are forced to deal with people we dislike, a great learning opportunity is being put forth to us.


As much as most of us wish we could exist in harmony with the people we encounter throughout our lives, there will always be individuals we dislike. Some simply rub us the wrong way while others strike us as deliberately unaware. We may judge others as too mean or abrasive for us to interact with them comfortably. Yet no person should be deemed a villain because their beliefs, opinions, mannerisms, and mode of being are not compatible with your own. You need not embrace the rough traits they have chosen to embody. There may be times in which the best course of action involves distancing yourself from someone you dislike. But circumstances may require that you spend time in the company of individuals who awaken your aversion. In such cases, you can ease your discomfort by showing your foe loving compassion while examining your feelings carefully.

The reasons we dislike some individuals are often complex and, at first, indecipherable. Often, we are automatically averse to people who are different because they compel us to question our values, spirituality, culture, and ideologies, threatening to undermine our self-assurance. Realistically, however, those you dislike have no power to weaken your life’s foundations. In fact, your aversion to specific individuals may actually be your response to your fear that specific qualities you see in them also exist within you. Their presence may force you to face internal issues you would rather not confront. If you meet someone who inspired an intense, largely negative response in you, ask yourself why your reaction is so laden with powerful emotions. Remember that you control your feelings and, if necessary, you can minimize this individual’s impact on your well-being by choosing how you will respond to them.

Though you may not have an immediate breakthrough, your willingness to consider your dislike rationally can help you better understand the root of your feelings. Your aversion to certain individuals may not wane over time, yet the comprehension you gain through reflection can help you interact with them sympathetically, benevolently, and with a greater degree of kindness. There is nothing wrong with recognizing that you are incompatible with some people. You may never achieve a shared harmony with those you dislike, but you can nonetheless learn to modulate your reactions to these individuals and, ultimately, to coexist peacefully with them. Published with permission from Daily OM

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A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

The Program teaches us, through the experience, strength and hope of its fellowship, that the worst situation imaginable does not warrant a return to our addiction. No matter how bad a particular situation or set of circumstances, the return to our old ways for even a minute will assuredly make it worse. Am I Grateful for the sharing and caring of “The Program”

Today I Pray

May I insist that no stone can be heavy enough to rag me back down into the pool of my addiction. No burden, so disappointment, no blow to pride or loss of human love is worth the price of returning to my old way of life. When I harbor thoughts that life is “too much” for me, that no one should be expected to “take so much and still remains sane” or that I am “the fall guy,”{ let me listen for the tone of my complaints and remember that I have heard that whine before — before I concluded that I was powerless over the chemical and gave my will over to the will of God. Such wailing sets me up for getting high again. May God keep my ears alert to the tone of my own complaining.

Today I Will Remember

Hear my own complaints.

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One More Day

There the weary cease from troubling, and there the weary be at rest.
– Job 3:17

We never thought we would have to learn to live with constant weariness. Our notions of illness may have prepared us for pain, inconvenience, maybe even some negative emotions like anger, but we had no way of anticipating the unrelenting drain of illness. There is tremendous comfort just in knowing we are not alone, that ultimately there is a Power greater than ourselves to whom we can turn for comfort and strength.

We can’t always escape the physical weariness of illness, but we can regenerate our spirituality, which may have dissipated along with our good health.

I cannot control my illness, but I can have a hopeful attitude.

[bluidkiti]

March 24

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
The things we hate about ourselves aren't more real than things we like about ourselves. --Ellen Goodman
It is so easy, and tempting, to get down on ourselves, to focus on an imperfect face, a dismal batting average, our fear of math, or our big feet. The trouble is, the more we feel sorry for ourselves, and the more we have to feel sorry about. And though it probably doesn't hurt to indulge in a little self-pity once in a while, how unfortunate--and limiting--it can be to let those attitudes define us.
The things we hate about ourselves are no more real than the things we like about ourselves. The trick is to dwell on the things we like instead of those we don't. Even on days when we are sure we are the least lovable creatures in the world, we can "act as if" we like ourselves. What a surprise at the end of the day, to find out that we actually do!
What can I like about myself today?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
I don't like a man to be too efficient. He's likely to be not human enough. --Felix Frankfurter
On our path we seek balance. Pursuing any single value and ignoring another, whether it is efficiency, hard work, or leisure, will make one sided men of us. Psychology tells us our right brain is the creative, intuitive side and our left brain is the concrete, fact gathering side. Spending our energies developing only one part of ourselves will leave us incomplete. We males have been taught we should be decisive, practical, and have our feet on the ground.
As men we are also creative and sensitive. We think in stories, pictures, and metaphors and we love music. At our best, we are willing to place people and relationships ahead of things and goals. When we are wisest and most human, we draw on the many sides of ourselves.
Today, I will use both the creative, intuitive part of me and the practical, decisive part that can get a job done.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
Love has a hundred gentle ends. --Leonora Speyer
Letting go is a process that is seldom easy. For many, its meaning is elusive. How do we "let go"? Letting go means removing our attention from a particular experience or person and putting our focus on the here and now. We hang on to the past, to past hurts, but also to past joys. We have to let the past pass. The struggle to hang on to it, any part of it, clouds the present. You can't see the possibilities today is offering if your mind is still drawn to what was.
Letting go can be a gentle process. Our trust in our higher power and our faith that good will prevail, in spite of appearances, eases the process. And we must let each experience end, as its moment passes, whether it is good or bad, love or sorrow. It helps to remember that all experiences contribute to our growth and wholeness. No experience will be ignored by the inner self who is charting our course. All are parts of the journey. And every moment has a gentle end, but no moment is forgotten.
My journey today is akin to yesterday's journey and tomorrow's too. I will savor each moment and be ready for the next.


You are reading from the book The Language Of Letting Go.
Appreciating Ourselves
We are the greatest things that will ever happen to us. Believe it. It makes life much easier. --Codependent No More
It is time to stop this nonsense of running around picking on ourselves.
We may have walked through much of our life apologizing for ourselves either directly or indirectly - feeling less valuable than others, believing that they know better than we do, and believing that somehow others are meant to be here and we are not.
We have a right to be here.
We have a right to be ourselves.
We are here. There is a purpose, a reason, and an intention for our life. We do not have to apologize for being here or being who we are.
We are good enough, and deserving.
Others do not have our magic. We have our magic. It is in us.
It doesn't matter what we've done in our past. We all have a past, woven with mistakes, successes, and learning experiences. We have a right to our past. It is ours. It has worked to shape and form us. As we progress on this journey, we shall see how each of our experiences will be turned around and used for good.
We have already spent too much time being ashamed, being apologetic, and doubting the beauty of ourselves. Be done with it. Let it go. It is an unnecessary burden. Others have rights, but so do we. We are neither less than nor more than. We are equal. We are who we are. That is whom we were created and intended to be.
That, my friend, is a wonderful gift.
God, help me own my power to love and appreciate myself. Help me give myself validity instead of looking to others to do that.


I forgive myself and all others today. --Ruth Fishel

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Journey to the Heart

Tap into Life’s Energy

Life is not something separate or apart from you, as you once believed. There is a power, a life force, that moves, guides, directs, and inspires you. You are one with life, with life’s energy.

Do things that energize you, charge your soul. Soak up the sun. Soak up color. Soak up beautiful sounds. Immerse yourself in nature, in a world the refreshes, restores, and renews. Don’t worry about the task or the day that looms ahead, the work, and love and play, the problems and choices that are on the way. If you energize yourself, restore yourself, the power to take action will come naturally like water from a spring.

Look around. What do you see that feels right to do? Which direction do you see as the right way to go? Trust the smallest glimmer. Give in to the urge, to the guidance that’s there. Do it once. Do it again. Soon you will find yourself in harmony.

You will have all the guidance, energy, ideas, creativity, power, and ability you need to do all you’re meant to do. And you will be given the power to enjoy it.

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More Language Of Letting Go

Cultivate inner peace

According to my experience, the principle characteristic of genuine happiness is peace, inner peace.
–His Holiness the Dalai Lama

Cultivate a sense of peace, an abiding inner peace that doesn’t depend on outward circumstance.

So much chaos, so much drama, so many emotions surge through us. It is so easy, so tempting to believe that once we get through this circumstance, once we achieve this goal, once we solve this problem, then we will be peaceful.

That’s an illusion.

“I’m happy when I get what I want,” said Kent. “For a few minutes.”

Getting what we want may cause us to feel happy for a moment, but it will bring a limited, transient happiness. The next problem or emotion will present itself. Or we will begin resenting that person or job, because he, she, or it did not bring the happiness we believed it would. Like a carrot on a stick, happiness will always be the next problem, acquisition, or emotion away.

Be peaceful now.

Be happy now.

Take the limits off your joy.

God, help me remember to be peaceful first, no matter what situation I face.

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A Great Teacher
Living Like Water

The journey of water as it flows upon the earth can be a mirror of our own paths through life. Water begins its residence on earth as it falls from the sky or melts from ice and streams down a mountain into a tributary or stream. In the same way, we come into the world and begin our lives on earth. Like a river that flows within the confines of its banks, we are born with certain defining characteristics that govern our identity. We are born in a specific time and place, within a specific family, and with certain gifts and challenges. Within these parameters, we move through life, encountering many twists, turns, and obstacles along the way just as a river flows.

Water is a great teacher that shows us how to move through the world with grace, ease, determination, and humility. When a river breaks at a waterfall, it gains energy and moves on, as we encounter our own waterfalls, we may fall hard but we always keep moving on. Water can inspire us to not become rigid with fear or cling to what’s familiar. Water is brave and does not waste time clinging to its past, but flows onward without looking back. At the same time, when there is a hole to be filled, water does not run away from it in fear of the dark; instead, water humbly and bravely fills the empty space. In the same way, we can face the dark moments of our life rather than run away from them.

Eventually, a river will empty into the sea. Water does not hold back from joining with a larger body, nor does it fear a loss of identity or control. It gracefully and humbly tumbles into the vastness by contributing its energy and merging without resistance. Each time we move beyond our individual egos to become part of something bigger, we can try our best to follow the lead of the river. Published with permission from Daily OM

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A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

All of us are faced with the troubles and problems of daily living, whether we’ve been in The Program two days or 20 years. We’d sometimes like to beieve we could ake care of all our problems right now, but it rarely works that way If we remember the slogan “Easy Does It” when we are ready to panic, we mayb come to know that the very best way to handle all things is “Easy.” We put one foot in front of the other, doing the best we are capapble of doing. We say “Easy Does It.” and we do it. Are The Pogram’s slognas gtwoing with me as I grow with The Program?

Today I Pray

May even the words “Easy Des It’ serve to slow me down in my hadlong rush to accomplis too much too fast. May just that world “Easy” be enough to make me ease up on he ships that drive my ambitions, ease up on the accelerator which plunges me into new situations without enough forethought, ese off on the number of hours spent in material pursuits. May I hark to the adage that Rome wasn’t built in a single day. Niether can I builde solutions to my problems all at once.

Today I Will Remember

Easy Does It.

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One More Day

Our safety is not in blindness, but in facing our danger.
– Johann Cristoph Schiller

Sometimes our difficulties are compounded when we take more drugs than needed to treat our illnesses. This can be due to our getting prescriptions from than one doctor or from using over-the-counter drugs in addition to our prescribed medications.

Certainly, we need to use the drugs that will keep us as healthy and functional as possible, but over medication can be an accidental side-effect of chronic medical problems. Also, psychological or physical dependence can also occur.

Besides necessary medications, the joy of living and the love of ourselves and others can help us deal with our illnesses. By learning to live with our limitations we can gain back some of the personal power that chronic illness has taken from us.

I am strengthened by facing my problems.

[bluidkiti]

March 25

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
My most irrational fear is that I've forgotten how to cook. --Pam Sherman
Once there was a teacher who was having nightmares about doing a good job. In one dream, he couldn't find his classroom and he had to run from building to building. In another dream, he started teaching the lesson in the middle of the woods and didn't notice he was in the wrong place!
Then one Sunday morning, he read an article about a wonderful baker. She baked every day, started bakeries, and fixed food for her friends, yet when the reporter asked her about her fears, she said, "My most irrational fear is that I've forgotten how to cook."
Suddenly the man felt better. He realized someone else had the same kinds of fears. In a miraculous way, our fears become less powerful when we discover that we share them with other people.
What fear can I share with someone right now?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
I don't want everyone to like me; I should think less of myself if some people did. --Henry James
Many of us have learned to control the responses of others by always being pleasing and charming. Maybe we feel it's better to have others like us than to take a stand. Maybe we only feel okay about ourselves if others approve. Some of us have certainly learned we have a sense of power and control over people when they like us. Many of us have carried our people pleasing behavior so far that we have really sold our souls for the applause of others.
Are there problems or tensions in our lives from trying to please someone? Is fear of criticism preventing us from taking an action that would be good for us? Have we neglected our inner voice by listening so hard to others? As we get stronger, healthier, more fully into our manhood, not everyone will like us. Some people will be angry; others, not interested. Once we have faced our own life crises, we are not so dependent on having everyone's approval.
I pray for God's blessing upon the man I'm becoming. I will let go of this need to please everyone.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
When I slow down long enough to smell the roses, I usually see the beauty and all else that is ours to share. --Morgan Jennings
We overlook so many joys, so many hidden treasures, when we hurry from place to place, person to person, experience to experience, with little attention anywhere. All that matters passes before us now, at this moment. And assuredly, we will not pass this way again.
It has been said the greatest gift we can give one another is rapt attention; additionally, living life fully attentive to the breezes, the colors, the sorrows and the thrills as well, is the most prayerful response any of us can make in this life. Nothing more is asked of us. Nothing less is expected.
We have just this one life to live, and each day is a blessing. Even the trials we shall understand as blessings in the months, the years ahead, as we can see now how the painful moments of the past played their part. Our attitude toward the lessons life has offered makes all the difference in the world.
I will look closely at everything in my path today. The women and children, the trees and squirrels, the silent neighbors. I will never see them again as I see them today. I will be at attention.


You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
Letting Go of Worry
What if we knew for certain that everything were worried about today will work out fine?
What if . . . we had a guarantee that the problem bothering us would be worked out in the most perfect way, and at the best possible time? Furthermore, what if we knew that three years from now wed be grateful for that problem, and it solution?
What if . . . we knew that even our worst fear would work out for the best?
What if . . . we had a guarantee that everything that's happening, and has happened, in our life was meant to be, planned just for us, and in our best interest?
What if . . . we had a guarantee that the people we love are experiencing exactly what they need in order to become who they're intended to become? Further, what if we had a guarantee that others can be responsible for themselves, and we don't have to control or take responsibility for them?
What if . . . we knew the future was going to be good, and we would have an abundance of resources and guidance to handle whatever comes our way?
What if . . . we knew everything was okay, and we didn't have to worry about a thing? What would we do then?
We'd be free to let go and enjoy life.
Today, I will know that I don't have to worry about anything. If I do worry, I will do it with the understanding that I am choosing to worry, and it is not necessary.


My Higher Power is with me in the sun as well as the rain, in pain as well as joy. As long as I know I am protected by the power of faith and love, I will remain centered and balanced throughout all of this day. --Ruth Fishel

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Journey to the Heart

Break Through Your Blocks

I was walking at a good clip down sandy Colony Beach when it happened. Without warning, I began running. I ran the longest distance I had ever before run. Instead of collapsing in a panting heap, I kept running. Another stretch. Then another. By the time I tired, I had run a mile. The furthest I had ever before run in my life was about a quarter block.

I didn’t intend to make this breakthrough. I was so blocked in this area I didn’t think I could. Running wasn’t even a goal. I had simply incorporated regular walks into my lifestyle as a way of exercising my body. This event surprised me because I’m not a physical fitness buff. I hadn’t been allowed to participate in any physical education or sports activities as a child or teenager because of chronic health ailments. I spent many years neglecting my body. Lately, I had put some effort into connecting with my body and working out in an amateurish fashion. But running? Not me. Or so I used to think.

The next time I went walking, I felt timid, almost afraid to even try running. I wondered if what I had experienced was a fluke. It wasn’t. I ran again and again. Now, running is a regular part of my physical activity, one I truly enjoy.

Sometimes, we’re so blocked in a particular area we don’t even consider a breakthrough a possibility. We’re so blocked we don’t even see our blocks. Stay open. Don’t limit yourself. Something that yesterday seemed entirely unfeasable and forever beyond your grasp may tomorrow, next month, next year– or today– become something you can do naturally, something that’s available to you. It can come as a total surprise, in an area you hadn’t considered. Your breakthrough may happen in an area you’ve been struggling with and working on.

Life is more than setbacks, and it’s not static. Appreciate and respect where you are now. But let yourself move to the next level when it’s time. Celebrate your breakthroughs when they come. Listen to that quiet voice, that fleeting thought that says, Why don’t you…? even if it’s something you’ve never done before.

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More Language Of Letting Go

Let go of resentments

Resentments are sneaky, tricky little things. They can convince us they’re justified. They can dry up our hearts. They can sabotage our happiness. They can sabotage love.

Most of us have been at the receiving end of an injustice at some time in our lives. Most of us know someone who’s complained of an injustice we’ve done to him or her. Life can be a breeding ground for resentments, if we let it.

“Yes, but this time I really was wronged,” we complain.

Maybe you were. But harboring a resentment isn’t the solution. If it was, our resentment list would resemble the Los Angeles telephone directory. Deal with your feelings. Learn whatever lesson is at hand. Then let the feelings go.

Resentments are a coping behavior, a tool of someone settling for survival in life. They’re a form of revenge. The problem is, no matter who we’re resenting, the anger is ultimately directed against ourselves.

Take a moment. Search your heart. Have you tricked yourself into harboring a resentment? If you have, take another moment and let that resentment go.

God, grant me the serenity that acceptance brings.

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The Road to New Beginnings
Completion

by Madisyn Taylor

Just as new beginnings are important, so is honoring the experience of closure.


Life is a collage of beginnings and endings that run together like still-wet paint. Yet before we can begin any new phase in life, we must sometimes first achieve closure to the current stage we are in. That’s because many of life’s experiences call for closure. Often, we cannot see the significance of an event or importance of a lesson until we have reached closure. Or, we may have completed a certain phase in life or path of learning and want to honor that ending. It is this sense of completion that frees us to open the door to new beginnings. Closure serves to tie up or sever loose ends, quiets the mind even when questions have been left unanswered, signifies the end of an experience, and acknowledges that a change has taken place.

The period of completion, rather than being just an act of finality, is also one of transition. When we seek closure, what we really want is an understanding of what has happened and an opportunity to derive what lessons we can from an experience. Without closure, there is no resolution and we are left to grieve, relive old memories to the point of frustration, or remain forever connected to people from our past. A sense of completion regarding a situation may also result when we accept that we have done our best. If you can’t officially achieve closure with someone, you can create completion by participating in a closure ritual. Write a farewell letter to that person and then burn your note during a ceremony. This ritual allows you to consciously honor and appreciate what has taken place between you and release the experience so you can move forward.

Closure can help you let go of feelings of anger or uncertainty regarding your past even as you honor your experience – whether good or bad - as a necessary step on your life’s path. Closure allows you to emotionally lay to rest issues and feelings that may be weighing down your spirit. When you create closure, you affirm that you have done what was needed, are wiser because of your experience, and are ready for whatever life wants to bring you next. Published with permission from Daily OM

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A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

If a chemically-dependent person wants to live successfully in society, he or she must replace the power of chemicals over his/her life with the power of something else — preferably positive, at least neutral, but not negative. That is why we say to the agnostic newcomer: If you can’t believe in God, find a positive power that is as great as the power of your addiction, and give it the power and dependence you gave to your addiction. In The Program, the agnostic is left free to find his or her Higher Power, and can use the principles of The Program and the therapy of the meetings to aid in rebuilding his/her life. Do I go out of my way to work with newcomers?

Today I Pray

May the Power of The Program work its miracles equally for those who believe in a personal God or in a Universal Spirit or in the strength of the group itself, or for those who define their Higher Power in their own terms, religious or not. If newcomers are disturbed by the religiosity of The Program, may I welcome them on their own spiritual terms May I recognize that we are all spiritual beings.

Today I Will Remember

To each his own spirituality.

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One More Day

Every man takes the limits of his own field of vision for the limits of the world.
– Arthur Schopenhauer

It’s not easy to get used to the idea of a “forever” kind of illness. When we first learned about it, we may have allowed it to overtake our lies. Perhaps we lost the pleasure of taking a walk, playing a card game with friends, or spending time helping others. We were obsessed with the memory of how life used to be.

We can learn to put illness into its correct position. We have the chronic condition; it doesn’t own us. We will know we have reached true acceptance when the medical issue doesn’t dominate our days.

Of course a chronic illness affects us, but now we an see it properly as only one facet of our lives. We can choose to once again have full and meaningful days.

I — not my illness — can choose how well and how fully I will live my life.

[bluidkiti]

March 26

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
There is a proper balance between not asking enough of oneself and asking or expecting too much. --May Sarton
The boy's mother baked pies that morning before he was up. She left them on the back porch to cool, their warm aroma curling up through his bedroom window. His mouth was full of the smell when he woke.
Before she left for work, she said, "You may do anything you want today, anything at all. Except for one thing--don't step in those pies."
All day the boy could not get the pies out of his mind; his feet itched just thinking about them.
Don't step in those pies. He heard her voice inside his head. By late afternoon he could control it no longer. One, two, three, four, five, six--his foot fell squarely into the middle of each pie.
When we expect the worst from others, we often get just that. The same goes for our expectations of ourselves. And when we trust others, it too is returned.
Do I expect the best of others--and myself--today?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
As long as I am constantly concerned about what I "ought" to say, think, do, or feel, I am still the victim of my surroundings and am not liberated. ... But when I can accept my identity from God and allow him to be the center of my life, I am liberated from compulsion and can move without restraints. --Henri J. M. Nouwen
As we get more settled in our recovery, we are more vulnerable to becoming rigidly ruled by ideas of behavior, which should serve as guidelines, not moral edicts. If we find ourselves saying we should pass the message of recovery to others, perhaps the spirit of the program is missing. If we are telling ourselves we should go to meetings but don't feel the benefit, perhaps we have lost the spiritual path.
Our powerlessness is the source of vitality in our relationship with God. In the painful awareness that our will and our own devices get us nowhere, we can put aside the shoulds and again accept our identity from God.
Today, I will set aside my shoulds and return to trust in my Higher Power.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
To believe in something not yet proved and to underwrite it with our lives; it is the only way we can leave the future open.
--Lillian Smith
Today stands before us, ready for our involvement. And it will offer us opportunities for personal growth and occasions to help another make progress on her path to the future. Challenges are to be expected. They further our purpose. They foster our maturity.
How different it is, for many of us, to look forward today with secure anticipation, to trust in what the future holds! We can still remember, all too vividly perhaps, the darker periods in our lives, periods that seemed to hold no promise; a time when we dreaded the future, fearing it would only compound those awful times.
The fear and the dread are not gone completely. They hover about us, on occasion. They no longer need to darken all of a day, however. We can recognize their presence as parts of our whole, not all of it. How free we are, today! Our choices are many.
I can step toward today with assurance, reaching out to others along the way, trusting that my accumulated steps add stability to my future.


You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
Gifts, Not Burdens
Children are gifts, if we accept them. --Kathleen Turner Crilly
Children are gifts. Our children, if we have children, are a gift to us. We, as children, were gifts to our parents.
Sadly, many of us did not receive the message from our parents that we were gifts to them and to the Universe. Maybe our parents were in pain themselves; maybe our parents were looking to us to be their caretakers; maybe we came at a difficult time in their lives; maybe they had their own issues and simply were not able to enjoy, accept, and appreciate us for the gifts we are.
Many of us have a deep, sometimes subconscious, belief that we were, and are, a burden to the world and the people around us. This belief can block our ability to enjoy life and our relationships with others. This belief can even impair our relationship with a Higher Power: we may feel we are a burden to God.
If were have that belief, it is time to let it go.


God gives me all the willingness I need today to sit quietly and listen. --Ruth Fishel

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Journey to the Heart

Make Each Moment Count

“A picture isn’t taken in a moment,” stated the brochure for the Cottonwood Colorado hotel. “It’s taken of a moment.”

It took me a long time to learn that important truth. I spent years trying to get my life together and keep it together, as though it were a solid chunk that could be arranged in a certain place, then made to stay there. It took me a long time to learn about moments.

In many ways, our lives are like a movie reel, made up of individual frames and single moments each one leading into the next. It is a waste of energy to try and hold on to the moments of the past. By the time we begin reaching for them, they’re gone. It is just as poor timing to try to jump into moments that have not arrived yet– the future.

Stay in the present moment, the frame you’re in now. That’s the only moment where happiness, joy, and love can be found. And remember to make each moment count.

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More Language Of Letting Go

Say whatever with as much love as you can

There’s an old story about compassion, detachment, and Mohammed, the prophet of Islam.

Mohammed had a neighbor who had a garbage problem. This neighbor was a cranky old man who let his garbage pile up and spill out all around his yard. The mess was unsightly, but Mohammed practiced tolerance and compassion. He didn’t say anything to the annoying neighbor, for years.

One day, the unsightly mess from the garbage disappeared.

Mohammed went over to his neighbor’s house and knocked on the door. The neighbor answered the knock.

“I got worried when I didn’t see your garbage,” Mohammed said. “I was just checking to make sure you were all right.”

We need to set boundaries, be clear, and stand up for ourselves. We need to check regularly to make sure we’re taking care of ourselves. But once in a while, we also need to check to see if we’re allowing ourselves to become irritated and upset by nonessentials and forgetting the essential of love.

Learn to say whatever, but learn to say it with as much compassion and love as you can.

God, help me learn to take care of myself and live with passion, compassion, and an open heart.

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Unlimited Vision
Everything Is in Divine Order

by Madisyn Taylor

Often when things are not as they seem to be, it is because we do not see the whole vision as we are asked to take baby steps.


We can only see so much from where we sit in our particular bodies, in the midst of our particular lives, rooted as we are in the continuum of space and time. The divine, on the other hand, is not limited to the constructs of either space or time, and its wisdom and workings often elude us as we try to make sense of what is happening in our lives. This is why things are not always what they seem to be and even the best-laid plans are sometimes overturned. Even when we feel we have been guided by our intuition every step of the way, we may find ourselves facing unexpected loss and disappointment. At times like these, we can find some solace in trusting that no matter how bad or just plain inexplicable things look from our perspective, they are, in fact, in divine order.

Even as we take our places in this earthly realm, a part of us remains completely free of the confines we face here. Regardless of what is happening in our lives, this part of us remains infused with joy and gratitude, connected to the unbroken source from which we come. Our small self, on the other hand, who is caught up in our false identity as a being limited in space and time, regards happiness as the result of things going the way it wants them to go. It is this part of us that suffers the greatest confusion and upset when the logic of events does not compute. And it is to this self that we must extend unconditional love, forgiveness, and compassion. In order to do this, we tap into our inner divinity, holding the space of a tender authority, extending love and light to our ego as a mother extends her love to a troubled child.

There are many ways to access our inner divinity—meditation, prayer, chanting, channeling, and conscious breathing, to name a few. It is helpful to develop a regular practice that provides us access to this all-powerful, healing presence, as it can be difficult to reach once we are in a stressful position, if we have not already established a connection. The more connected we are with this part of ourselves, the more we share its unlimited vision and the secure, knowing that all the things of our life, no matter how they appear, are in a state of divine and perfect order. Published with permission from Daily OM

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A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

I know today that getting active means trying to live the suggested Steps of The Program to the best of my ability. It means striving for some degree of honesty, first with myself, then with others. It means activity directed inward,m to enable me to see myself and my relationship with my Higher Power more clearly. As I get active, outside and inside myself, so shall I grow in The Program. Do I let others do all the work at meetings? Do I carry my share?

Today I Pray

May I realize that “letting go and letting God” does not mean that I do not have to put any effort into The Program. It is up to me to work the Twelve Steps, to learn what may be an entirely new thing with me — honesty. May I differentiate between activity for activity’s sake — busy-work to keep me from thinking – - and the thoughtful activity which helps me to grow.

Today I Will Remember

“Letting God” means letting Him show us how.

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One More Day

This confrontation, with death . . . makes everything look so precious, so sacred, so beautiful, that I feel more strongly than ever the impulse to live it, to embrace it, and let myself be overwhelmed by it.
– Abraham Maslow

When we are ill, we are forced to face our own mortality. A close brush with death is enough to put the fear of dying into us, but with this fear a sense of spiritually may flow through our lives. Problems, which once seemed overwhelming diminish in size. The trees are greener, the sky is bluer. People are kinder and more sharing than ever before.

We often don’t miss what we’ve taken for granted until it’s nearly yanked away from us. All of a sudden, every day is a gift. Every day is precious chance to live.

I am continuing the struggle to make each day the best one because I rejoice in the gift of life.

[bluidkiti]

March 27

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
We like someone because, we love someone although. --Henri de Montherlant
Families are like scissors. They are joined in the middle but often spread wide apart, moving away from each other. When we're not feeling close to other family members--when it's hard even to like them--it seems as though we'll never come together again.
But pity the scrap of paper that comes between our scissor blades! The scissors works together again and slices the trouble clean. When trouble threatens our family, we can slice it through if we move together in love and acceptance.
No matter our small differences, we are part of the same living organism, in a way. The family we live in has been together for many generations, and we are just the most recent members. When we look at one another, we see the products of centuries of love.
When I feel distant from my family, can I locate where we are still joined together?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
Man is in love
And loves what vanishes;
What more is there to say?
--W. B. Yeats
Throughout our lives we repeatedly make attachments and lose them. We are taken with the rich color of leaves in the fall, but we know that this beauty will soon be replaced with stark, empty branches. We give ourselves to caring for a baby, knowing someday this person will say good bye to make his or her own life. We lie close to our lover in a special moment, yet we know that this, too, will be limited by the years of our lives.
We want to defiantly say, "No! If I can't have permanence I'll take nothing at all!" Most of us have wished we could outmaneuver life with such a power play. The loss feels so painful we might think holding back our love will save us pain. But holding back brings a greater unhappiness. When we submit to it, life is generous in its kaleidoscope of forms. Each attachment, each loss, is followed by more rewards and attachments. Loss and death itself are part of life. There is peace in accepting and living fully in the cycle of seasons.
God, help me to engage with life fully and to accept change.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
It takes time, love, and support to find peace with the restless one. --Deidra Sarault
Restlessness is born of frustration. Perhaps we want to move ahead with our lives more quickly. Does a job have us trapped? Do past troubles haunt us still? Maybe perfectionism tarnishes every attempt to achieve. We can learn from our restlessness, if we let it guide us to our inner reservoir of peace and spiritual support.
The search for serenity often takes us farther from it. We mistakenly think a different job or home or relationship will answer all our needs. But we find that our restlessness has accompanied us to our new surroundings. Peace has its home within. And prayer opens the door to it. In the stillness of our patience, we are privy to its blessing.
Restlessness indicates our distance from our higher power. It may be time for a change in our lives. Change is good; however, our relationship with God will vouchsafe any needed changes. Restlessness is self-centered and will only hamper the steps we may need to take.
Restlessness is a barometer that reveals my spiritual health. Perhaps prayer is called for today.


You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
After Burn
How could I do it? How could I say it? Even though I meant it, I still feel ashamed, guilty, and afraid.
This is common reaction to new, exciting recovery behaviors. Anything to do with owning our power and taking care of ourselves can trigger feelings of shame, guilt, and fear.
We do not have to allow these feelings to control us. They're a backlash. They're after burn. Let them burn out.
When we start confronting and attacking feelings and messages, we will experience some after burn. The after burn is what we allowed to control us all our life - shame and guilt.
Many of us grew up with shame-based messages that it wasn't okay to take care of ourselves, be honest, be direct, and own our power with people. Many of us grew up with messages that it wasn't okay to be who we were and resolve problems in relationships. Many of us grew up with the message that what we want and need isn't okay.
Let it all burn off. We don't have to take after burn so seriously. We don't let the after burn convince us that we are wrong and don't have a right to take care of ourselves and set boundaries.
Do we really have the right to take care of ourselves? Do we really have the right to set boundaries? Do we really have the right to be direct and say what we need to say?
You bet we do.
Today, I will let any after burn which sets in after I practice a new recovery behavior, burn off. I will not take it so seriously. God, help me let go of my shame and needless fears about what will happen to me if I really start caring for and loving myself.


I am good enough...just the way I am. --Ruth Fishel

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Journey to the Heart

Resentments Hurt Everybody

Resentments only hurt ourselves. Not true. Resentments can hurt others,too.

When we brood and allow resentments to brew and fester, we send negative, mean, hurtful, spiteful energy to others. The more consciously and vividly we do this, the more pain we can cause everyone. The more bonded we are with others, whether they’re business associates, friends, lovers, or family members, the more powerfully our resentments can impact them as well as us.

So if you’re busy thinking resentful thoughts about someone close to you on the job or at home, consider the harm you are doing to him or her. The more powerful the emotions connected to these thoughts and the closer you are to the person, the more damage you can do. You can sabotage the other person, help keep him or her down. Even if you don’t speak your resentments aloud, even if you try to hide the way you feel, the energy is there in the air hurting both of you, just as we focus on clearing the air we breathe of toxins, we need to cleanse the air around us at work and at home from the toxic fumes of resentment.

Remember, when we harbor hate, jealousy, or rage, we connect to others in ways that hurt us all. Let’s set others free. Let’s release our resentments. Along the way, we’ll set ourselves and our hearts free,too.

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More Language Of Letting Go

Set yourself free

I’ll let go tomorrow; I’m having too much fun torturing myself today. No, that’s not really it. I’ll let go tomorrow; the things I’m holding on to need me to hold them today. Yes, that’s closer to what it is. I’m not enjoying myself at all today, but I have to keep holding on to my desires, my guilt, my limitations, and my worries. I am defined by them. And you want me to let go of them today? Sorry, maybe tomorrow. And so we hold on. And the ulcer grows. And the pain in our hearts from unfulfilled expectations keeps gnawing away at us. What we’re really putting off is the freedom we get from letting go.

Yes, I know that what you’re holding on to is important. Everything that I have ever had to let go of was important to me, too. If it wasn’t important, letting go wouldn’t be a struggle. We’d just put it down and walk away.

You’ve been given today. Will you use it or will you miss out on today’s wonder because you’re to preoccupied with holding on to things that are beyond your control?

God, help me let go,today.

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In God’s Care

I do not believe one can settle how much we ought to give. I am afraid the only safe rule is to give more than we can spare.
~~C.C. Lewis

In this hectic life, demands are constantly made on us–demands on our time, our attention, our skills. There are demands on all our resources, both spiritual and material. How can we meet all the demands? When we try, aren’t we in danger of spreading ourselves too thin and not being able to satisfy anybody, including ourselves?

We learn, though, both from God and from experience, that the secret of happiness is in giving. It is the heart and soul of our spiritual life. We are always happiest when we are giving–of ourselves, our possessions, our money, our time, our attention, our tolerance, our patience, our appreciation, and our love.

It is hard to give too much. The more we give of ourselves, the more we give to ourselves.

I will give as much as I can, and a little bit more.

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Doing for Others
Solace in Service

by Madisyn Taylor

So many times, when we are being of service to others, we find the answer or solution to our own problems.


When we feel bad, often our first instinct is to isolate ourselves and focus on what’s upsetting us. Sometimes we really do need some downtime, but many times the best way to get out of the blues quickly is to turn our attention to other people. In being of service to others, paradoxically, we often find answers to our own questions and solutions to our own problems. We also end up feeling more connected to the people around us, as well as empowered by the experience of helping someone.

When we reach out to people we can help, we confirm that we are not alone in our own need for support and inspiration, and we also remind ourselves that we are powerful and capable in certain ways. Even as our own problems or moods get the better of us sometimes, there is always someone else who can use our particular gifts and energy to help them out. They, in turn, remind us that we are not the only people in the world with difficulties or issues. We all struggle with the problems of life, and we all feel overwhelmed from time to time, but we can almost always find solace in service.

In the most ideal situation, the person we are helping sheds light on our own dilemma, sometimes with a direct piece of advice, and sometimes without saying anything at all. Sometimes just the act of getting our minds out of the obsessive mode of trying to figure out what to do about our own life does the trick. Many great inventors and artists have found that the inspiration they need to get to the next level in their work comes not when they’re working but when they’re walking around the block or doing dishes. We do ourselves and everyone else a great service when we take a break from our sorrows and extend ourselves to someone in need. Published with permission from Daily OM

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A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

Storing up grievances is not only a waste of time, but a waste of life that could be lived to greater satisfaction. If I keep a ledger of “oppressions and indignities,” I’m only restoring them to painful reality.

“The horror of that moment” the King said, “*I shall never, never forget.”
“You will though,” said the Queen, “if you don’t make a memorandum of it.”
(Lewis Carroll. Through The Looking Glass)

Am I keeping a secret storehouse for the wreckage of my past?

Today I Pray

God keep me from harboring the sludge from the past — grievances, annoyances, grudges, oppressions, wrongs, injustices, putdown,s slights, hurts. They will nag at me and consume my time in rehashing what I “might have said” or done until I face each one, name the emotion it produced in me, settle it a best I can — and forget it. May I empty my storehouse of old grievances.

Today I Will Remember

Don’t rattle old bones.

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One More Day

Patience is the best remedy for every trouble.
– Plautus

We are used to the quick fix. Candy bars hold back our hunger. Credit cards allow us to spend freely when we are financially strapped. We drive through the fast-food lanes and eat on the way to our next stop.

And when we were told about our illness, our reaction may have been, “Okay, Now how can it be fixed?” We were told that part of the treatment was time, a remedy requiring patience and one difficult to accept. We are learning to accept that the nature of our illness requires us to be patient. We can use this patience to slow the value of each passing minute. Our time becomes more and more precious as we understand that patience is a very good remedy.

Today I can begin to practice patience.

[bluidkiti]

March 28

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
I have a feeling I should paint what I am supposed to paint. So I sit. And there my hand moves and I made a picture.
--Norval Morrijeau
The writer sits, head in hands, amid a mound of crumpled paper wads. The deadline is tomorrow and not even the first paragraph is written. The writer has been working nonstop since the early morning hours. Frustration pushes the writer up from the chair and out on a long walk in the woods to the stream. After an hour of plunging through lush woods, a rest by the stream listening to the sounds of the rippling water is refreshing. Back at the typewriter, the fingers move, the words flow, the job is done.
Sometimes we need to quiet ourselves to let our inner resources flow through our outer noise. We are always doing what we are supposed to do. Even when things don't seem to come together just right, there is a purpose; even if only to let us know we need to do something else for a while.
How much simpler our lives can be if we only have the faith to accept what happens as a guidepost along a path that is naturally correct.
Am I frustrated with something I should step away from?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
There is nothing stronger in the world than gentleness. --Han Suyin
It may take a while to learn to be gentle with ourselves. We have long standing patterns of abusing and shaming ourselves. Maybe we became this way because we were victims. Now it's easier to attack ourselves for mistakes we've made than to be accountable and make amends. We think we deserve to be rejected if we let our friends know our deepest secrets. In the midst of stress we fly to self doubt and self abusing thoughts. We withdraw emotionally, we pout, we expect rejection rather than gentleness.
For today, let us pledge to be gentle with ourselves. Gentleness isn't dishonest; it isn't arrogant or self-centered. It is taking reality - with whatever pain that includes - and treating ourselves as worthwhile men. We will be stronger and less self centered when we accept this gentleness. We will be as loyal to ourselves as we are to our best friends. Each day with this new attitude will build strength of character and wisdom.
Today, may I treat myself with gentleness and learn the strength it has to teach me.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
Is there ever any particular spot where one can put one's finger and say, "It all began that day, at such a time and such a place, with such an incident"?
--Agatha Christie
No experience of our lives is pure, unadulterated, set apart from all other experiences. There is an eternal flow in our lives. It carries us from one moment, one experience, into the next. Where we are today, the growth we have attained as recovering women and the plans we have for further changes are prompted by the same driving desires that contributed to our many actions in years gone by.
We can reflect on a particular experience and tag it a turning point. However, neither a lone prescription nor a single martini opened the door we passed through when we chose recovery. But they each may have played a part, and it's the many parts of our lives, past and present, that guarantee us the turning points that nudge us further up the mountain. We will see the summit. And we will understand how, each time we stumbled, new strength was gained.
Every day is a training ground. And every experience trains me to recognize the value of succeeding experiences. With richness, I am developing, one moment at a time.


You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
Balance
Seek balance.
Balance emotions with reason.
Combine detachment with doing our part.
Balance giving with receiving.
Alternate work with play, business with personal activities.
Balance tending to our spiritual needs with tending to our other needs.
Juggle responsibilities to others with responsibilities to ourselves.
Balance caring about others with caring about ourselves.
Whenever possible, lets be good to others, but be good to ourselves too.
Some of us have to make up for lost time.
Today, I will strive for balance.


I am at choice today. I can watch my negative thoughts go by and replace them with positive thoughts and compassion.
--Ruth Fishel

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Journey to the Heart

Discover New Beliefs

The drive from Zion National Park to Bryce Canyon in utah was a short one. I had traveled the same route several times. At a certain pass, no matter how sunny the day and cloudless the sky, it was raining there every time. Although it was hard to see, a small dark cloud seemed to hang over this one particular place, this one area of the road, all the time.

It may be like that in a particular area of our lives. A certain belief seems almost stuck to us, stuck to one area of our lives, and no matter how sunny the rest of the drive, it’s raining there all the time. What cloud is hanging over you? Could it be one you’re helping to create?

Some beliefs– My choices are wrong. I make bad decisions, I’m wrong– can create a dark heaviness that hangs over us like a cloud. These beliefs may be so subtle we don’t notice them. What we do notice is a lingering pain or anxiety, a cloud that seems to follow us around. What we don’t see is that we’re helping create and maintain our own cloud with these beliefs.

The lesson may not be to make better decisions or be a better person. The lesson may be much simpler: change your beliefs. Make some new decisions. Let yourself discover some new, better, sunnier beliefs about yourself and your life. Allow yourself to believe that the decisions you make are fine.

Who you are is okay. You always have been.

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The Language of Letting Go

Balance

Seek balance.

Balance emotions with reason.

Combine detachment with doing our part.

Balance giving with receiving.

Alternate work with play, business with personal activities.

Balance tending to our spiritual needs with tending to our other needs.

Juggle responsibilities to others with responsibilities to ourselves.

Balance caring about others with caring about ourselves.

Whenever possible, let’s be good to others, but be good to ourselves too.

Some of us have to make up for lost time.

Today, I will strive for balance.

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In God’s Care

The essence of prayer, even of a mystical experience is the way we are altered to see everything from its life-filled dimension.
~~Matthew Fox

Prayer can change us dramatically. It can open our eyes to the intricate beauty in the things and people in our life.

Prayer can help us see the people we pray for–whether friend or adversary–with greater clarity and love. Our gratitude for friends is heightened; our resentment toward adversaries lessens. Barriers mysteriously disappear when we look upon our enemies prayerfully.

The Eleventh Step suggests that prayer may be as simple as asking for knowledge of God’s will for us and the power to carry that out. We therefore seek God’s presence anywhere we are and in anyone we’re with. This is prayer as action, as a commitment to fully invest ourselves in life. When prayer is how we live our life, we are able to honor whatever life gives us by responding with acceptance and hope.

Today I will look upon the people and events in my life prayerfully, and be open to the riches I am afforded.

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Things We Don’t Want to Do
Outside the Comfort Zone

by Madisyn Taylor

Most often, after you have completed something you didn't want to do, you wonder why you were so worried in the first place.


Most of us have had the experience of tackling some dreaded task only to come out the other side feeling invigorated, filled with a new sense of confidence and strength. The funny thing is, most of the time when we do them, we come out on the other side changed and often wondering what we were so worried about or why it took us so long. We may even begin to look for other tasks we’ve been avoiding so that we can feel that same heady mix of excitement and completion.

Whether we avoid something because it scares us or bores us, or because we think it will force a change we’re not ready for, putting it off only creates obstacles for us. On the other hand, facing the task at hand, no matter how onerous, creates flow in our lives and allows us to grow. The relief is palpable when we stand on the other side knowing that we did something even though it was hard or we didn't want to do it. On the other hand, when we cling to our comfort zone, never addressing the things we don’t want to face, we cut ourselves off from flow and growth.

We all have at least one thing in our life that never seems to get done. Bringing that task to the top of the list and promising ourselves that we will do it as soon as possible is an act that could liberate a tremendous amount of energy in our lives. Whatever it is, we can allow ourselves to be fueled by the promise of the feelings of exhilaration and confidence that will be the natural result of doing it. Published with permission from Daily OM

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A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

We must think deeply of all those sick persons still to come to The Program. As they try to make their return to faith and to life, we want them to find everything in The Program that we have found yet more, if that be possible. No care, no vigilance, no effort to preserve The Program’s constant effectiveness and spiritual strength will ever be too great to hold us in full readiness for the day of their homecoming. How well do I respect the Traditions of The Program?

Today I Pray

God help me to carry out my part in making the group a lifeline for those who are still suffering from addictions, in maintaining the Steps and the Traditions which have made it work for me for those who are still to come. May The Program be a “homecoming” for those of us who share the disease of addiction. May we find common solutions to the common problems which that disease breeds.

Today I Will Remember

To do my Part.

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One More Day

It is not death or pain that is to be dreaded, but the fear of pain or death.
– Epictetus

The pain we anticipate — whether it be a flu shot, a lengthy dental procedure, or surgery — is usually worse than the actual pain. Perhaps this is because the anticipation of pain includes fear or dread.

As we deal with pain, we may find healthier ways to cope with it. Once, even the sense of headache coming might have caused us to tense our muscles and prepare for the onslaught. Now, we’re more likely to settle down to begin thinking of positive imagery or relaxation therapy. We are giving ourselves the moments we need to be alone, to breathe deeply, to think of a beautiful and calming sight. We’re learning to relax and be less fearful.

I need to remind myself of my personal power. I can exercise control over my body and strive to minimize the effect of fear.

[bluidkiti]

March 29

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
Drag your thoughts away from your troubles . . . by the ears, by the heels or any other way you can manage it. It's the healthiest thing a body can do. --Mark Twain
It requires very little effort--and no imagination--to start feeling sorry for ourselves. Often, it is easy to feel sorry for ourselves in our families. Instead of being inspired by the sports talents of an older brother, the popularity of a lovely sister, or the fame of a parent or relative, we often take the easier attitude: "I'm denied all that he or she has."
If we work hard at developing our own abilities so that we can excel, we will find ourselves proud of, and applauding, what others do. If a personal problem brings us self-pity, we must remind ourselves that all people have problems. We can cope as well as the best of people if we learn from them and think positively.
Who among those close to me can I be proud of today?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
Restless man's mind is,
So strongly shaken
In the grip of the senses...
Truly I think
The wind is no wilder.
--Bhagavad Gita
What passions have swept away our reasoning powers? What lust have we pursued at the cost of our values and better judgment? As men in this program, we know the ferocious winds of addiction and codependency. Now we are in a program of recovery, learning to combine our sensual side with our mind and our morals.
Every day we feel the winds of our senses, and they are part of what gives us life. We can let them blow and not be carried away by them. In this way we take pleasure in being human beings and men. We have our minds, our thoughts, and our knowledge to turn to for guidance. And we have our inner voice - our Higher Power - on which we can rely through even the wildest hurricane.
I am learning to make room in life for my senses, my mind, and my Higher Power.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
Love is an expression and assertion of self-esteem, a response to one's own values in the person of another. --Ayn Rand
The struggle to love one another may be a daily one for us, and it is made more difficult because we are still stumbling in our attempts at self-love. Many of us have lived our whole adult lives feeling inadequate, dull, unattractive, fearing the worst regarding our relationships with others.
But this phase, this struggle, is passing. We see a woman we like in the mirror each morning. We did a task or a favor yesterday that we felt good about. And when we feel good about our accomplishments, we look with a loving eye on the persons around us. Self-love does encourage other love.
Self-love takes practice. It's new behavior. We can begin to measure what we are doing, rather than what we haven't yet managed to do, and praise ourselves. Nurturing our inner selves invites further expression of the values that are developing, values that will carry us to new situations and new opportunities for accomplishments, and finally to loving the woman who looks back at us every morning.
Self-love makes me vulnerable and compassionate towards others. It's the balm for all wounds; it multiplies as it's expressed. It can begin with my smile.


You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
Getting Needs Met
Picture yourself walking through a meadow. There is a path opening before you. As you walk, you feel hungry. Look to your left. There's a fruit tree in full bloom. Pick what you need.
Steps later, you notice you're thirsty. On your right, there's a fresh water spring.
When you are tired, a resting place emerges. When you are lonely, a friend appears to walk with you. When you get lost, a teacher with a map appears.
Before long, you notice the flow: need and supply; desire and fulfillment. Maybe, you wonder, someone gave me the need because someone planned to fulfill it. Maybe I had to feel the need, so I would notice and accept the gift. Maybe closing my eyes to the desire closes my arms to its fulfillment.
Demand and supply, desire and fulfillment - a continuous cycle, unless we break it. All the necessary supplies have already been planned and provided for this journey.
Today, everything I need shall be supplied to me.


God gives me all the strength and courage to accept whatever happens in my life today. It is so freeing to know that I am no longer a victim of people, places and things. --Ruth Fishel

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Journey to the Heart

Move Gently into Forgiveness

“I never knew how much I blamed and hated myself. I never knew how much shame and self-contempt I picked up from situations I’d been through until I really forgave myself and felt how that feels,” one woman said to me.

Loving yourself, forgiving yourself, accepting yourself– all of these feel different from judging yourself. Many of us have lived with so much judgement of ourselves that we take these feelings for granted. We just think that’s how we’re doomed to feel. Until we do forgive ourselves, we don’t realize how much we need to, and how good, how great, how absolutely terrific that feels.

I was leery of forgiveness for many years. I thought forgiving implied judging. And because judging was wrong and I shouldn’t do it, I didn’t need to forgive. The problem was, whether right or wrong, I had judged myself. And now I needed forgiveness.

Self-judgements set us apart, separate us from the rest of the world in an undesirable way. Forgiving ourselves reconnects us to the world, to God, to ourselves.

We can forgive ourselves for what we’ve done wrong, what we’ve done badly, and what we think we could have done better. We can transcend our judgements of ourselves.

Move gently into forgiveness. Love, forgive, and accept yourself. See how connected you feel. See how free you really are and always have been. See how much better you feel!

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More Language Of Letting Go

Thy will be done

You can clear the land, plow the field, spread the fertilizer, and plant the corn. but you cannot make it rain. You cannot prevent an early frost. You cannot determine exactly what will happen in your life. The rain may or may not fall, but one thing is certain: you will get a harvest only if you planted something in the field.

It’s important to do everything in our power to ensure our success, but we also need to let the universe take its course. Getting mad won’t help. Dwelling on a situation only takes energy away from us, while yielding few positive results.

The Serenity Prayer comes to mind. It begins:”Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change.”

Clear the land, plow the field, plant the crop, and then let go. Things will work out, sometimes the way we want them to, sometimes not. But they will work out.

Sometimes all you can do is shrug your shoulders, smile, and say whatever.

Thy will, not mine, be done.

God, help me take guided action, then surrender to your will. Help me remember that true power comes from aligning my will, intentions, and desires with you.

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In God’s Care

We are born helpless. As soon as we are fully conscious we discover loneliness. We need others physically, emotionally, intellectually; we need them if we are to know anything, even ourselves.

People today are taught at an early age to be self-sufficient. Independence is considered a strength, and dependence a weakness. As a result, we come to believe that we can make it on our own. And we can, but at what cost? Many of us fill our loneliness with chemical substances, Humans are social creatures; we need each other for physical and emotional support, and for a healthy exchange of ideas.

Even more, we need each other for spiritual development. God loves us equally and often speaks to us through one another. We truly learn about our spiritual nature in the loving acts we exchange

I am never lonely when showing someone that I care.

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Alive in Joy
Dispelling Drama

by Madisyn Taylor

Some people are so used to creating drama that a peaceful existence seems uncomfortable for them.


There are scores of people in the world who seem to be magnets for calamity. They live their lives jumping from one difficult to the next, surrounded by unstable individuals. Some believe themselves victims of fate and decry a universe they regard as malevolent. Others view their chaotic circumstances as just punishments for some failing within. Yet, in truth, neither group has been fated or consigned to suffer. They are likely unconsciously drawing drama into their lives, attracting catastrophe through their choices, attitudes, and patterns of thought. Drama, however disastrous, can be exciting and stimulating. But the thrill of pandemonium eventually begins to frustrate the soul and drain the energy of all who embrace it. To halt this process, we must understand the root of our drama addiction, be aware of our reactions, and be willing to accept that a serene, joyful life need not be a boring one.

Many people, so used to living in the dramatic world they create, feel uncomfortable when confronted with the prospect of a lifetime of peace and contentment. The drama in their lives serves multiple purposes. Upset causes excitement, prompting the body to manufacture adrenaline, which produces a pleasurable surge of energy. For those seeking affection in the form of sympathy, drama forms the basis of their identity as a victim. And when drama is familial, many people believe they can avoid abandonment by continuing to play a key role in the established family dynamic. The addiction to drama is fed by the intensity of the feelings evoked during bouts of conflict, periods of uncertainty, and upheaval.

Understanding where the subconscious need for drama stems from is the key to addressing it effectively. Journaling can help you transfer this need from your mind onto a benign piece of paper. After repeated writing sessions, your feelings regarding the mayhem, hurt feelings, and confusion often associated with drama become clear. When you confront your emotional response to drama and the purpose it serves in your life, you can reject it. Each time you consciously choose not to take part in dramatic situations or associate with dramatic people, you create space in your inner being that is filled with a calm and tranquil stillness and becomes an asset in your quest to lead a more centered life. Published with permission from Daily OM

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A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

What is the definition of humility? “Absolute humility,” said AA co-founder Bill W., “would consist of a state of complete freedom from myself, freedom from all the claims that my defects of character no lay so heavily upon me. Perfect humility would be a full willingness, in all times and places, to find and to do the will of God” Am I striving for humility?

Today I Pray

May God expand my interpretation of humility beyond abject subservience or awe at the greatness of others May humility also mean freedom from myself, a freedom which can come only through turning my being over to God’s will. May I sense the omnipotence of God, which is simultaneously humbling and exhilarating. May I be willing to carry out His will.

Today I Will Remember

Humility is freedom.

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One More Day

Happiness should not depend on physical wellness.
– K. o’Brien

Without even recognizing that we have done so, we sometimes structure our entire lives on the foundation of good health. We assume good health for our future. And we refuse to even acknowledge that nature’s somewhat random selection process can change the way we live. We may never even give a moment’s thought to changing our habits because of illness. We feel exempt, confident it will never happen to us.

And when it does and our lifestyle changes — sometimes gradually, sometimes abruptly — we feel we’ve lost the right to happiness. Then we begin to adjust. Family and friends stick with us, and an awareness comes forth that they, not physical activity, are the reasons for true happiness.

I accept and will adjust to chronic illness. Poor health has changed my life not ended it.

[bluidkiti]

March 30

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
Come stand by my side where I'm going, Take my hand if I stumble and fall It's the strength that you share when you're growing That gives me what I need most of all. --Hoyt Axton
The bear cub was miserable. Her father, the leader of the pack, had left a month ago to find them winter shelter and had not yet returned. Everyone went on as if nothing had changed.
One evening the cub had a dream in which her father appeared and said, "Daughter, I know you grieve for me, but your burden is too heavy to carry alone. Share it with the others and let them comfort you. Sharing will only lighten your load, and if you can accept help now you will find it easier to give when others are in need."
The next morning the little cub woke with a much lighter heart. As it turns out, everyone in the pack shared the same dream. There was much hugging and crying and reaching out and healing.
We can easily lighten our loads by asking support from those who love us, knowing our turn to help will come.
What help can I ask for today?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
We all carry it within us; supreme strength, the fullness of wisdom, unquenchable joy. It is never thwarted and cannot be destroyed. But it is hidden deep, which is what makes life a problem. --Huston Smith
How does a man lose touch with his strength, his wisdom, his joy? Perhaps it is in the nature of humanity. Our most profound qualities are hidden deep. They never go away, but we cannot always find them. There may be nothing wrong with ourselves as men when we lose touch. It doesn't have to mean that we are "bad guys" for getting depressed or for feeling inadequate. Who doesn't have that problem? It is the nature of life that we sometimes feel this way. This program helps us unearth the resources hidden within us.
When we cannot find those reassuring feelings of strength and wisdom and joy, we may think they are gone forever. We even doubt we ever had them or could have them again. But they are still there. They cannot be destroyed. And when we regain contact we know they have been with us all along.
I will have faith that the innermost places in me can never be destroyed.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
The pure relationship, how beautiful it is! How easily it is damaged, or weighted down with irrelevancies--not even irrelevancies, just life itself, the accumulations of life and of time. --Anne Morrow Lindbergh
Many of us are presently rebuilding old relationships and searching for new ones, ones that we hope we can protect. We can't survive without relationships, some intimate, some close, some casual. And we discover ourselves through our relationships with others.
The purity of a relationship is directly proportional to the undivided attention we both give to those shared moments, hours, experiences, to being there with one another. This communion with another is the celebration of life and God that quickens hearts and ushers in serenity.
Each day I can look for those chances to give myself wholly. And gifts will abound.


You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
Experiment
Experiment. Try something new. Try stepping out.
We have been held back too long. We have held ourselves back too long.
As children, many of us were deprived of the right to experiment. Many of us are depriving ourselves of the right to experiment and learn as adults.
Now is the time to experiment. It is an important part of recovery. Let yourself try things. Let yourself try something new. Yes, you will make mistakes. But from those mistakes, you can learn what your values are.
Some things we just wont like. That's good. Then well know a little more about who we are and what we don't like.
Some things we will like, they will work with our values. They will work with who we are, and we will discover something important and life enriching.
There is a quiet time in recovery, a time to stand still and heal, a time to give ourselves a cooling off time. This is a time of introspection and healing. It is an important time. We deal with our issues.
There also comes a time when it is equally important to experiment, to begin to test the water.
Recovery does not equal abstention from life. Recovery means learning to live and learning to live fully. Recovery means exploration, investigation, and experimentation.
Recovery means being done with the rigid, shame based rules from the past, and formulating healthy values based on self-love, love for others, and living in harmony with this world.
Experiment. Try something new. Maybe you wont like it. Maybe you'll make a mistake. But maybe you will like it, and maybe you'll discover something you love.
Today, I will give myself permission to experiment in life. I will stop rigidly holding myself back, and I will jump in when jumping in feels right. God, help me let go of my need to deprive myself of being alive.


When I look within, I find that I have all that I need. It feels wonderful to discover that I already am the beautiful person that I would like to be. --Ruth Fishel

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Journey to the Heart

Who or What Is Pulling on You?

Learn to become sensitive to the quiet as well as the clamorous pulls on your energy, your time, your emotions. You are becoming connected– to yourself, the universe, God, others– in a way you have never been before. To deny these pulls is to deny the connections.

A quiet tug on our consciousness may be telling us what we need to do. We think about an old friend and contemplate calling her, but we don’t. Don’t be silly, we tell ourselves. Why would I do that now? But maybe that friend is calling out to us. Or we have a problem we haven’t known how to solve. That situation begins to work on us, bothering us, interrupting our day. Maybe our instincts are telling us it’s time to do something about it.

We are living differently now, more magically, more at ease, more at one with our actions. One way we know it is time to do something not on the calendar or the clock is to pay attention to the quiet pulls on our energy. Being conscious of these impulses, then trusting ourselves to naturally know what to do and when to do it puts us in harmony with the universe and our soul.

Who or what is pulling on you? What do you think you should do? Now, take it to the next step, the next level. What does your heart lead you to do?

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More Language Of Letting Go

Go with the flow

I was standing in my kitchen, many years ago, cooking Thanksgiving dinner. The children were racing around the house. I was expecting company. Dinner wasn’t coming out the way I’d planned. And then I noticed, to my dismay, that one of my acrylic nails was mssing. I looked around frantically, then realized it was most likely where I feared: inside the turkey, in the stuffing.

I called my best friend and explained things to her.

“Just relax,” she said, in a cheery voice I liked so much– sometimes. “Go with the flow.”

“How?” I said, quietly.

I don’t remember the details of how that day worked out, but it did– I think Nichole found the nail. And so did the next. And so did the next. In time the lesson became clear– learn to relax, and go with the flow. From that relaxed place, you will learn to naturally manifest your power.

Some people call it ki, some chi, some the Holy Spirit, some the Way, the Tao, God’s will, or the force. Whatever we choose to call it, there’s an energy flow, a path, that will lead us through any situation we encounter in life.

I spent many years resisting this flow, this universal life force. I expended a great deal of energy creating dramas around each incident that took place. I spent as much time resisting a feeling or an event as I spent dealing with it. I lived in a state of fear.

The answer will appear. A solution will come to you. You’ll be led to the next place, person, or event. You’ll get the opening you need, along with the inspiration, courage, and wisdom. Feelings will come and go.

The lesson isn’t that things will be okay. It’s that things are okay, right now.

God, teach me how to give up resistance and go with the flow.

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In God’s Care

Love the moment and the energy of the moment will spread beyond all boundaries
~~Corita Kent

When we quiet our mind, bypassing our thoughts about the hour or day before, or our fear over what may come tomorrow, we can more easily relish each moment–this moment. We too often succumb to the seduction of worrying about the past and future, which are beyond our control. Our unwillingness to give up this obsessive thinking keeps the joy and serenity we long for out of reach. We forget that the power lies within us to clear our mind and to fully experience the peace of the moment.

Quieting our mind requires commitment and practice. We can circumvent any thought and experience moments of peace–a peace that will become as seductive as our old obsession to worry.

I will choose to give up worry today and enjoy many peace-fillled moments instead.

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Giving The Gift Of You
Serving Your Community

To live harmoniously, we need to be supportive and helpful to all people, creatures, and plant life that share this earth with us. While “being of service” is part of being a good citizen of the world, it also feels good to help others. When we do something for others in service, without the expectation of anything in return, we are turning our actions into offerings.

There are many ways to be of service to our community. There are the obvious and much needed volunteer opportunities, such as serving Thanksgiving dinner at a shelter, mentoring our youth, or cleaning up a beach. Then, there is the kind of service that we may not even think of as being acts of service. Learning a new language (perhaps sign language) so that you can talk to more people is a way to reach out to others. Inviting someone who isn’t motivated enough to exercise on their own to join you on your daily walk is a way to give of yourself. Sharing flowers or vegetables from your garden, organizing a poetry reading, offering to babysit for a busy parent, or donating pet food to an animal shelter all are simple ways to offer your services to your community.

There are many ways that you can serve the world. Imagine the impact we would have on the environment if we picked up one piece of trash off the street everyday and chose not to drive our car once a week. Even gardening tactics such as throwing wildflower seeds onto a vacant lot can brighten the lives of others – including the lives of birds and insects. Everyday, you can do something to make this world a better place. During meditation, ask for guidance on what you can do to be of service. This can be a wonderful way to start your day. Smiling at a stranger who looks down in the dumps or teaching your neighborhood kids how to whistle will impact someone’s day or even their life. Giving of yourself is the best gift that you can give. Published with permission from Daily OM

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A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

“When I meditate upon such a vision,” Bill W. continued, “I need not be dismayed because I shall never attain it, nor need I swell with presumption that one of these days its virtues shall all be mine. I only need to dwell on the vision itself, letting it grow and even more fill my heart… Then I get a sane and healthy idea of where I stand on the highway to humility. I see that my journey towards God has scarcely begun. As I thus get down to my right size and stature, my self-concern and importance become amusing.” Do I take myself too seriously?

Today I Pray

May the grandiosity which is a symptom of my chemical addiction be brought back into proportion by the simple comparison of my powerlessness with the power of God. May I think of the meaning of Higher Power as it relates to my human frailty. May it bring my ego back down to scale and help me shed my defenses of pomp or bluster or secret ideas of self-importance.

Today I Will Remember

He is great. I am small.

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One More Day

If you don’t learn to laugh at trouble, you won’t have anything to laugh at when you grow old.
– Ed Howe

Laughing with others is important. Learning to laugh at our own problems, however, is even more important. Since we will continue to live with situations that cause us all types of problems, we may as well learn to laugh at ourselves.

Often with chronic illness, coordination changes. Reaction time may be slower. Sensitivity to cold, heat, or pain may be altered. It’s only logical that we will find ourselves in potentially embarrassing situations because of our bodies.

Often, a hearty laugh at all the strange situations flung our way is just the thing to help us work through what is painful and difficult. Laughter is a gift we give to ourselves. We can carry it with us whenever we go, it will always be ours.

I am headed in the right direction when I can laugh.

[bluidkiti]

March 31

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
Withdrawal is a preparation for emergence. --Nor Hall
A man lost his family in a car accident and wanted to be alone for a while, but he worried whether he was doing the right thing. Then one day a friend told him that when pine cones fall off the lodge pole pine trees, they are sealed shut so the seeds inside can't get out. The pine cones lie on the forest floor--sometimes for decades--until a forest fire sweeps through. Heat from the fire melts the seal and the seeds fall out and finally grow, and that's why the lodge pole pine is called a "fire-origin species."
The man felt good about himself when he heard the story. "Fire-origin species" is a good name for people who've been burned by life and find new growth as a result.
How have I grown because of pain and difficulty?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
Shared joy is double joy, and shared sorrow is half sorrow. --Swedish proverb
As recovering men, we know relief and peace when we express our pain and share the burden of a sorrow with each other. Life is too difficult, a day is too long, to carry grief alone and keep our joys to ourselves. We have spent long periods of time in loneliness. Like anyone who has been alone and finally gets a chance to speak, we have much to say to one another.
In this program we tell our stories, and the telling heals us. We tell about our pain and unmanageable past lives. We tell each other about our spiritual experiences. We share our honest doubts and worries about ourselves and events in our daily lives. Full communication at a truly spiritual meeting includes our questions and the incomplete thoughts in our stories as well as the thoughts that are fully concluded. As we talk, we unburden ourselves and learn from each other about closeness and manhood.
Today, I will let the people around me know about my joys and my sorrows. It will enrich my whole experience.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
Anger repressed can poison a relationship as surely as the cruelest words. --Joyce Brothers
Anger is familiar to us all. We feel it toward others and from others. The expression and acceptance of anger is where we often falter. Most of us were told when we were small girls that we shouldn't be angry, but we were. And we are, even yet. However, we often still feel like a little girl when it comes to angry feelings.
We need to accept our anger and learn to express it, honestly, openly and assertively, not aggressively. We can't afford to hang onto anger. It grows and then festers and then boils. Soon it is interfering in all our relationships, and it provides a ready excuse for an old, self-destructive pattern we don't want to entertain for even a moment.
Nothing we set out to do today will have the right outcome, if we carry anger within us. How we interpret life, how we treat our friends, what we do with our opportunities and our challenges--all these are determined by our attitudes. Repressed anger always blocks the way to a positive attitude.
Every experience can uplift me if anger doesn't weigh me down.


You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
Finances
Taking financial responsibility for ourselves is part of recovery. Some of us may find ourselves in hard financial times for a variety of reasons.
Our recovery concepts, including the Steps, work on money issues and restoring manageability to that area of our life. Make appropriate amends - even if that means tackling a $5,000 debt by sending in $5 a month.
Start where you are, with what you've got. As with other issues, acceptance and gratitude turn what we have into more.
Money issues are not a good place to act as if. Don't write checks until the money is in the bank. Don't spend money until you've got it in your hand.
If there is too little money to survive, use the appropriate resources available without shame.
Set goals.
Believe you deserve the best, financially.
Believe God cares about your finances.
Let go of your fear, and trust.
Today, I will focus on taking responsibility for my present financial circumstances, no matter how overwhelming that area of my life may feel and be.


With softness and gentleness I am turning around all negative thinking so that my mind is positive. It feels so good to be in charge of the world that I am creating for myself. --Ruth Fishel

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Journey to the Heart

Take the Pressure Off

Sometimes we need a little pressure to get moving, but sometimes we put too much pressure on ourselves. I must do this, we think, and I must do it better and faster. We begin to believe that only by worry and fear and pressuring ourselves can we got the job done– whether the job is spiritual growth, making a particular decision, or accomplishing a task.

That kind of pressure doesn’t get the job done any better or faster. It simply makes you tense and fearful, and stops the creative juices. Too much pressure can take you out of the present moment. It can inhibit the life force, the flow of life within you. That kind of pressure can make so much noise in your mind that you can’t hear your heart.

We have responsibilites. We have time frames and commitments to others. And there are times when we need to get the job done. But the most pressing job can be done best when we’re relaxed. The most urgent decision can be made most clearly when we’re at peace. It doesn’t help to force ourselves to go faster, be somewhere else, or be someone we’re not. There are few things we need to do that can be enhanced by becoming tense, fearful, and worried. The more pressing the situation, the more pressing the need to be present for ourselves, and be present for each moment.

Let off some steam. Release your emotions. Clear the pathway to the heart. The answer will come. The job will get done.

Give yourself some relief. Take the pressure off.

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More Language Of Letting Go

Change what you can

There are times when it’s best to say whatever and times when it’s best to say enough. Be aware of the difference in these times, and be ready to say both.

Are you being abused or merely annoyed? Is your anger based on a legitimate hurt, or has someone just not lived up to your expectations? Be aware that there’s a difference. Then learn to apply the strategies, as needed, for that particular situation.

Are there any rules for knowing? No, there aren’t. You need to decide and choose what’s best for you at any given time. Trust yourself and your Higher Power. You’re wiser than you think.

Seek balance in your life. Learn when it’s time to let go, and learn when it’s time to act.

God, help me let go of situations that are out of my control and help me take action, when it’s time.

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In God’s Care

I came to this program to save my ass and found out it was attached to my soul.
~~Anonymous

God gets our attention in a lot of different ways. To a great many of us, it was through accdident or illness, coming close to death. All of us come to this program frightened for our life or our sanity or both. God has our attention.

And now we are learning about the spiritual aspect of our life, the one we had so long neglected. Now we are partaking of God’s love–Soul food–and discovering that the spiritual life is fuller and more rewarding than anything we thought possible. Nothing we do to please our body can compare to the joy of unconditional love. When we lend a loving hand to anyone, we realize once again that the pain we suffered was worth it to bring us to this awareness.

Today I will look for ways to help others–and bless my soul!

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Protecting Your Flow
How Fear Blocks Creativity

To understand how fear blocks creativity, take a moment to imagine yourself telling a story. First, imagine telling the story to someone you love and who loves you. You probably feel warmth and energy as you fill in the details of your tale to your friend’s delight. Now, imagine telling the same story to someone who, for whatever reason, makes you uncomfortable. The wonderful twists and turns, the fine points and colorful images that unfolded in your mind for your friend probably won’t present themselves. Instead of warmth, energy, and creativity, you will probably feel opposite sensations and a desire to close down. When we feel unsafe, whether we fear being judged, disliked, or misunderstood, our creative flow stops. Alternately, when we feel safe, our creativity unfolds like a beautiful flower, without conscious effort.

Knowing this, we can maximize our creative potential by creating the conditions that inspire our creativity. In order to really be in the flow, we need to feel safe and unrestricted. However, achieving this is not as simple as avoiding people who make us feel uncomfortable. Sometimes we can be alone in a room and still feel totally blocked. When this happens, we know we have come up against elements in our own psyches that are making us feel fearful. Perhaps we are afraid that in expressing ourselves we will discover something we don’t want to know, or unleash emotions or ideas that we don’t want to be responsible for. Or maybe we’re afraid we’ll fail to produce something worthy.

When you’re up against fear, internal or external, ritual can be a powerful—and creative—antidote. Before you sit down to be creative, try casting a circle of protection around yourself. Visualize yourself inside a ring of light, protective fire, or angels. Imagine that this protective energy emanates unconditional love for you and wants to hear, see, and feel everything you have to express. Take a moment to bathe in the warmth of this feeling and then fearlessly surrender yourself to the power that flows through you. Published with permission from Daily OM

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A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

My illness is unlike most other illnesses in that denial that I am sick is a primary symptom that I am sick. Like such other incurable illnesses as diabetes and arhritis, howeever, my illness is characteriezed by relapses. In The Program, we call such relapses “slips.” The one thing I know for certain is that I alone can cause myself to slip. Will I remember at all times that the thought precedes the action? Will I try to avoid “stiinking thinking?”

Today I Pray

May God give me the power to resist temptations. May the responsibility for giving in, for having a “slip,” be on my shoulders and mine only. May I see beforehand if I am setting myself up for a slip by blame-shifing, shirking my responsibility to myself, becoming the world’s poor puppet once again. My return to those old attitudes ccan be as much of a slip as the act of losing my sobriety.

Today I Will Remember

Nobody’s slip-proof.

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One More Day

Why, why, why?
– James Joyce

“it doesn’t seem fair,” we privately lament. “How could I have this rotten medical condition just when I’ve hit my stride — the prime time of my life?”

That’s a question we all wonder about. Many of us may get down on our knees and pray to our Higher Power for understanding. We might as, “Why Me?” We might implore, “Why now, when I’m nearly on my feet again?”

We might ask these questions, yet often there are no answers. Our ways are not His ways. Sometimes life just isn’t fair; there are no easy answers.

I have adjusted to other changes in my life, and I can adjust to this one too. It may take some time, and I may go through the gamut of emotions first, but I am willing.