One Day At A Time - March

[yukonm]

March 1

ANONYMITY

Don't walk behind me, I may not lead.
Don't walk in front of me, I may not follow.
Just walk beside me and be my friend.

Albert Camus



When I first joined OA, the tool and tradition of Anonymity seemed a little strange to me. What’s wrong with people knowing what members do for work? I’m not ashamed of my career, why should I not talk about it? What’s with this cult-like behaviour around initials for names? And what do they mean by Anonymity being the spiritual foundation of recovery?

And then, bit by bit, it dawned on me. When we don’t talk about our jobs, when we don’t care about our last names, three very important things happen. First, we don’t get distracted. Second, it makes us all equal. Third, it starts us on the road of leaving judgment behind. An Elizabeth is just an Elizabeth, whether she’s a queen, a unemployed single mother or an actress. The equality that comes with that means that I am not more or less, not better or worse than you. This equality strengthens our unity. We are all in the same boat. And with this equality we can row in unity towards recovery.


One day at a time ...
I will remember that my fellow OA members are my equals, that I can let go of judgment, and that the freedom that comes with this helps me concentrate on recovery.

~ Isabella

[yukonm]

March 2

EXPERIENCE

"I'm not afraid of storms . . .
for I'm learning how to sail my ship."

Louisa May Alcott





We spend our youth living and experiencing life. At some point our experiences become lessons. We who are compulsive eaters weren't aware of that when we began to eat out of control. Deep down, however, we were living and experiencing food issues. These issues later would become our lessons.

I am so grateful that the Twelve Steps made it possible for me to look at my past experiences and see the reality they presented. If not, I may have continued life in denial.


One Day at a Time . . .
I will use the lessons I have learned to make the quality of my life better.


~ Mari ~

[yukonm]

March 3

A Disease?

"Doc! What do you mean - nothing! What? An incurable disease?
Doc, you're kidding me! You're trying to scare me into stopping!
What's that you say? You wish you were?
Why are there tears in your eyes, Doc?"
The Big Book, The Unbeliever, Page 196

For a very long time I scoffed at those who said my overweight was because I had a disease. Yes, my body had doubled in size ... but it was because I ate more calories than my body burned. My doctor said so ... he didn't say I had a disease. His "treatment" was to tell me to go on a diet and join a gym. The diet lasted for a few months and I believe I used the gym about six or seven times. I know now without a single doubt that I have a disease ... a serious one. I know that it is incurable and that I will have to live with this disease for the rest of my life. Dieting made me fat. Somewhere along the way I didn't "get it."

One day at a time...
I will resist thinking that being a compulsive eater is not a disease. I will aggressively and tenaciously do the footwork necessarily to combat it.

A TRG Member

[yukonm]

March 4

March

"March is the month of expectation, the things we do not know,
The 'Persons of Prognostication' are coming now."
~ Emily Dickinson
I'm not sure whether it's because I'm embroiled at the moment in working the Steps I love so much ... or whether the beginnings of Springtime are beginning to happen ... but there is a feeling that I have that "something" is beginning. The long winters of life have taken their toll on me and when I experience this awesome feeling of hope I am grateful.

If there were doubts of the promises coming true, March overshadows them. If the Spring and Summer times of program loomed large in the distance, they are no longer. Just the smell of a new Spring morning is enough to know that hope for spiritual, emotional and physical wellness abounds.

One day at a time ... I must forget the winters of my life and hold on to the promises of March ... and of my Twelve Step program.

~ A TRG Member

[yukonm]

March 5


~ IMPULSIVENESS ~

"It is especially important not to make major life changes
when you are guided by emotions. If you are emotionally excited
(either in the positive or negative), wait until you calm down before taking action."

Rabbi Zelig Pliskin





When I first entered into recovery this was one of my main character defects. Since my life was out of control and spiraling downward, I acted impulsively and rarely did any thinking before acting. I wouldn't even admit that my actions were impulsive. I would get so mad at people if they said I was impulsive.

Thanks to the steps I now have the tools that allow me to look at my actions in a new light - one of sanity and direction. Step One allowed me to admit that I was addicted to food and my life was unmanageable. Step Two allowed me to let others in to help with my problem. I was not in this alone. Step Three gave me a loving G-d to take care of growing me up and helping me with all my problems. Step Four brought things into perspective, Step Five brought healing from the shame of making those irreparable mistakes. Steps Six and Seven helped me look at what in me could be prayed about and improved. They taught me that this character defect was just a character asset being used improperly. Steps Eight and Nine brought me back into a right relationship with others. Step Ten keeps me focused in the now not the "what if's" or "you need to's" of the past. Sanity seemed to be coming from that awareness of living in today. Step Eleven gave me the gift of a G-d that is ever caring and always present to help me if I just do my side of the work. As a result I have a spirit of love today rather than a spirit of resentment and self-pity. Step Twelve might be the most important one because it is what keeps me in recovery and living a productive life.

Today I do not have to react immediately to every thing that happens, I can even go to my sponsor and ask for guidance. If my sponsor doesn't have experience in that area I have a world full of people like me to go to who understand what I am experiencing. The tools give me a way to handle life on life's terms.

One Day at a Time . . .
I will chose to live and recover in the 12 steps.

~ Judith ~

[yukonm]

March 6

Scars

"Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls;
the most massive characters are seared with scars."
~ Kahlil Gibran
I’ve lived most of my life filled with bitterness towards people, God and myself. My mind, soul, and body were consumed by hatred, self-pity, pain, hopelessness, and a complete sense of powerlessness. I focused my energy on reviewing my scars. I counted them, checked them, nurtured them, and flaunted them. They were proof of all the wrongs I’d endured. They were my source of energy. They were my identity. They were my badge of sorrow.

As I work my recovery, I am beginning to see everything from a new perspective. Gradually my head is lifted and my eyes are turned away from my once-beloved scars. The more I allow myself to accept that my powerlessness is not a prison of doom, the more I discover that it is my doorway to faith, surrender, and serenity.

My scars are still here. There is no magic potion to remove them. What is magical, however, is that I see them so differently. I find that I have a choice to make every day: I can cherish my scars as proof of the pain I have suffered, or I can be thankful for them as evidence of things I have survived. Scar tissue forms and creates a stronger, thicker skin in its place. I can either pick at it and make it bleed, or I can welcome the lessons and endurance it has built into my life.

One day at a time...
I will choose to see my scars as proof of the difficulties I have survived. I will choose to appreciate them as evidence that God has brought me through suffering and has used all things to strengthen my faith in Him, my hope for tomorrow, and my serenity for today.

Lisa
A TRG Member

[yukonm]

March 7


Perseverance

To keep a lamp burning we have to keep putting oil on it.

Mother Teresa





As a child I can still remember being terribly stubborn, and would even have a temper tantrum if I didn't want to do something. As I grew up, the trait of stubbornness remained, and it would be hard to get me to budge if I had decided I didn't want to do something. After coming into the program, I realized that stubbornness is actually a character defect of mine, and whilst I am praying to be relieved of it in its negative form, I also know that that same character defect in its positive form has helped me tremendously in the program, especially seeing my journey has been one which has been characterized with many slips along the way. But one of the things that I've never stopped doing is coming back, and I know that it is this very character defect of stubbornness, turned into perseverance, that has made me keep working at the program, even when it would be easier to just give up. So I have kept coming to meetings, and working the steps and the tools even when I was struggling, because I know that it is only when I do that, I have a chance of recovery.

It has been said that this is a program of action, and so I repeat on a daily basis the actions that have brought recovery to thousands. Some days it is harder than others, especially when the willingness is not there, and on those days my old pattern of wanting to block out the feelings with food resurfaces. But I also know that when I use the tools and work the steps, I can deal with the feelings without resorting to food, because my Higher Power will help me to get through the daily struggles when I turn them over to Him. So what I need to do on a daily basis is to ask for help from my Higher Power with my unmanageable life, instead of turning to food, and even on days where I'm struggling, I just need to keep putting one foot in front of the other and persevering with working the program.

One Day at a Time . . .
I will persevere with working the program, so that I can recover from this disease of compulsive overeating and be restored to sanity on a daily basis.

~ Sharon ~

[yukonm]

March 8


~ FEELINGS ~

We honor ourselves and our friends
when we can tell them how we feel.

Theodore Isaac Rubin





I always felt that if I didn't rob a bank or tell a lie that I was being honest. But when I began working the Twelve Steps, I learned what honesty really meant. Expressing my negative thoughts and feelings in the fast-moving world I found myself caused problems ... or I imagined it would. Therefore, I tried to pretend everything was wonderful and right and perfect.

One of the great blessings of my life is to know that I can now "feel" my emotions, express them to others who understand and somehow always feel better for having done so. Of course, I am still selective in choosing to whom I express my deepest feelings, but I do not pretend anymore that things are right when they're wrong. I do not gloss over bad things and make them good.

One day at a time...
I feel my feelings and express them honestly, knowing that they're neither right nor wrong ... and I rejoice at the feeling of freedom I experience when I allow my emotions to flow from me.

~ Mari ~

[yukonm]

March 9

~ THE ITSY BITSY SPIDER ~

"I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain."

Frank Herbert, Bene Gesserit Litany Against Fear, Dune




Recently in our meeting room we had a new ‘member’. He was HUGE – well, we thought so, but who are we to judge? He was hairy, well maybe we’re not perfect...He strode into the room like he owned the place. Well certainly he had as much right to be there as we all did.

We shrieked. Maybe it was those 8 hairy legs, maybe it’s because he ran towards us like a streak of lightening, who knows.

Whatever he must have thought watching us giants leaping around the room we can only guess. He certainly seemed far more scared of us than we of him. It got me thinking of the insanity of some fears. After all what could this fragile little hairy thing do to me? He didn’t have 8 giant slippers to hit ME on the head. I was the one with the power, yet, through my fear I was giving HIM the power he really didn’t have. Instead of using the Power to give myself more confidence and behave rationally, I was wasting it away, GIVING it away. So many times I seem to repeat this same pattern. Of course some fears are rational, but most aren’t.
This program gives ME the freedom to ask my Higher Power to take away my shortcomings. To relax and step back and make a fresh start. I need never be afraid again of irrational things, not if I truly work the program.

Itsy Bitsy Spider scuttled out of the meeting in rather a hurry that night. Was he trying to avoid participating in the 7th Tradition? Or did he have a genuine rational fear?

Maybe he was quite simply restored to sanity.

One Day at a Time . . .
I will not be afraid ... I will not empower anything to cause me to be fearful.


~ Marlene

[yukonm]

March 10

THE WHOLE PICTURE

“It should be pointed out that physical treatment
is but a small part of the picture.”

Big Book Alcoholics of Anonymous; Page 143




Looking around a gallery recently my friend and I were looking at a mosaic picture. We pondered on what we thought of it, and each of us had our own ideas. Then as we chatted a thought popped into my head. Now this doesn’t happen often, so make the most of it.

The mosaic, of course, is made up of lots of tiny tiles, each one seemingly insignificant on it’s own. In fact if you found one in the street, you probably wouldn’t look at it twice, never mind pick it up. Yet together with all the other tiny tiles, pieced together it forms an unusual and beautiful work of art. I don’t expect that all of the tiles are perfect, but together they are whole. Together they appear to be as one in unison with each other.

Then came the second thought (yes, two in one day). Some days for me are pretty awful. I feel sick, or saddened. I turn on the TV and the news is all depressing stuff, and I think, where is HP while all this is happening? A few years ago, I lost my baby and nearly my own life. Where was my HP then? Losing my nephew at age 8 a few years later, I really doubted that any God of anyone’s understanding could help me with a weight problem.

But today I see the wonderful days, the glowing wonderful comforting days that make life worthwhile. Who am I to say that this life I’m living is good or bad? Only HP has the ‘whole mosaic’ picture of Life. Not just my life, but my life touching another life. The events happening in the world – again, only HP sees the whole picture. He has the lid of the jigsaw puzzle with the main picture on it; we only have one piece, just like the tile.

After I lost the baby, HP helped the surgeons to heal me. I certainly didn’t feel worthy; in fact I felt at the time that I wasn’t even good enough to die. Yet HP has stuck by me and has given me so much. I doubt I’ll ever know whose life or lives I may have touched as a result of me being saved, but it doesn’t matter. HP knows. HP cares.

One Day at a Time . . .
I must remember that you and I are one in the eyes of our Creator. Not one of us is less than, or more than each other. Together we are one. Together we watch HP work miracles in our lives. Together, we are perfect as long as we are under HP’s direction. Mind boggling isn’t it?


~ Marlene

[yukonm]

March 11


INSANITY

"Insanity: Doing the same thing over and
over again and expecting different results."
..... Albert Einstein (1879-1955)







Everyday I get up and fight the fight of 'I am not good enough.' Nevertheless, I know I am who I am and that's what counts. I may never be what others expect me to be and many times those expectations were so great that I used to beat myself up over my failures.

That is the insanity of the compulsion that I am being healed from. I now have a mirror in my bedroom! I now can go without cleaning my house compulsively for those who visit me and now I can stand up for myself. Why? Because I love ME!

Program has given me back who I am. The person I love. My welfare comes first! Above all I am grateful for my sponsor, my Higher Power and this program. I am also grateful to the many men and women who have inspired my life because if it were not for all of these, I would still be in that insanity.



One day at a time ... I will not require everyone's approval; I will not continually beat myself up when I expect more of myself than I can give; I will continue to love ME and all the good things about me.

~ Rosehips

[yukonm]

March 12


SEASONS OF OUR SOUL

"You will be like a tree firmly planted by streams of water,
which yields its fruit in its season, and its leaf does
not wither and whatever you do prospers."
..... Psalms 1:3







For much of my life I have felt rootless, insecure, lost, ineffectual, and scattered by the seemingly-unforgiving winds of chaos, confusion, change, and pain in my life. I certainly do not feel the sense of strength, stability, and solidity that I imagine I’d feel as a “firmly planted tree.” Many of my choices and behaviors add to the storms and fruitlessness of my life…yet I consider again the Tree. The Tree bears its fruit “in its season”. The Tree participates in the work of its Creator by patiently standing strong through the winds, snow, and barrenness of winter…and the Tree knows that winter is only for a Season. The Tree does not rail against God, nor demand that it produce fruit in its season of barrenness; rather, the Tree patiently rests and knows that Spring will return, as it always does and always will.

Working our program calls us to trust God – to believe that which we might not yet see, feel, or experience. We can choose to accept with Serenity the seasons of our lives.




One day at a time ... I will choose to believe that my Higher Power is at work in me through every season of my life. I will remember that He brings the Life of Spring after the “death” of winter. In trusting Him, I will be stable and fruitful, even when I feel overwhelmed by the winds of life.

~ Lisa

[yukonm]

March 13

Love

"Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength,
While loving someone deeply gives you courage."
~ Lao Tzu


As we explore our twelve step program and peel away the onion that is us, we find many parts of ourselves that we had never known before. Those parts have always been there ... we just weren't aware of the importance of them. Suddenly, as though it were a light bulb flashing, it hits us full in the face and we find ourselves seeing what our deepest need in life is.

It took practically a lifetime to realize that my deepest need was to love and to be loved. How could I have lived so long and not realized that before? I am grateful that the twelve step program gave me the ability to feel love, perhaps for the very first time. I am also grateful that this beautiful way of living also gave me the ability to give love.

One day at a time ... I will keep my heart open for opportunities to love ... and quietly but expectantly to be loved.

~ A TRG Member

[yukonm]

March 14


Cease Striving

"Cease Striving – Let Go, Relax – And Know that I Am God”
. . . . Psalms 46:10






I can count on one hand the times in my life in which I’ve been able to feel truly relaxed. Our disease is often driven by our efforts to control our lives: we labor to control our emotions, our relationships, our image, and our “masks” which we wear in a valiant effort to control how other people see and respond to us.

This effort to control ourselves and our lives is a ruthless taskmaster and a double-edged sword. It cuts like a knife through our very souls and requires that we forsake who we are in a misguided – and fruitless – attempt to be who we believe we “should be.” I have worked so hard at trying to mold myself into an Acceptable Person that I have lost who I truly Am. All of my ceaseless efforts to mold myself into who I thought I Should Be have cost me my very sense of Self, and has been a painful eroding of my own Identity – it is a tragic self-imposed suicide of my Soul.

Like many of us, in order to enter recovery I had to come to the End of Myself and lose any sense of Control I had over my life. This was terrifying for me – I believed that even without a false sense of control, my life would implode and leave only ruined remnants in its place.

But I have not imploded. I have not been destroyed. With the crumbling of my masks and my frantic efforts to control everything, I have found a surprising sense of peace and safety – even in the midst of the chaos in my life. I am convinced that had God not brought me to the end of my own efforts, I would not be in a place in which I can hear His Voice. My ears would have remained deaf to His promise to never forsake me. Had He not firmly – yet gently – gotten my attention, my unsettled Mind would have continued to shout warnings and commands into my withered soul. Hitting Bottom is the best thing that could have happened to me, for I landed not in destruction, but in His eternal loving arms.



One Day at a Time . . .
I will choose to cease my own striving and efforts to control my life. I will practice being still and knowing that my Higher Power is with me at all times, in every circumstance of my life

~ Lisa

[yukonm]

March 15

LOYALTY

“We are all in the same boat, in a stormy sea,
and we owe each other our loyalty."
~ G. K. Chesterton
As is often typical of a compulsive overeater, the more I struggled to be loyal in my relationships with others, God, and myself, the more I found myself to be capable of loyalty only to food, shame, hiding my secrets, and despairing of any hope for recovery.

It was my shame that drove me to ineffectual attempts at loyalty – and shame breeds loyalty only to shame.

My relationships were in chaos, my mind was my enemy, and my emotions were tumultuous. When my pain overcame my attempts to be loyal, and my addiction to shame led to broken relationships, I had to finally admit that my efforts to control my life were fruitless – and would remain fruitless – unless I sought help.

When I entered recovery I feared the honesty and transparency that loyalty to self, others, God, and the truth would require of me. Among others who struggled with the same disease, however, I found that there can be no loyalty without taking a fearless inventory of my life and making a faithful accounting of my legacy. I found that I must surrender my loyalty to my disease, and place my loyalty in the hands of my Higher Power and in the open sharing of my reality. Only then could I cultivate loyalty in my relationships.

One day at a time ...
I will choose loyalty to healthy relationships with others, God, and myself – and I will resist the temptation to be loyal to my disease.

Lisa

[yukonm]

March 16


Serenity

"Serenity is not freedom from the storm,
but peace amid the storm."

Anonymous Quote

Why is serenity so important to our recovery? Because darkness cannot exist where there is light! If we can maintain a serene state of mind as established through our faith in HP and the BB Promises, negative emotions and behavior will have no power over us. Stress, fear, compulsiveness, obsessiveness, resentment, guilt, shame, willfulness, doubt, distrust, greed and envy, have no power over a mind that is kept in serene repose. Serenity allows us to see situations clearly and make wise decisions. Most importantly, by maintaining a serene mind, we keep the door to our High Power open.


One Day at a Time . . .
I will face each challenge with grace and serenity.

~ Rob R.

[yukonm]

March 17

PAIN AND PRETENDING

"To live is to suffer,
to survive is to find some meaning in the suffering."
Friedrich Nietzsche

I love to walk in the woods. The silent serenity of shadowed sunlight; the soft bounce of scattered needles under my feet; and the cool, clear air breathe peace into my soul.

I’ve long been fascinated by “nurse logs” – those aged, fallen pines who serve as fertile sustenance for younger, healthy trees.

When I look back at my life I see so much death. I see wasted years of hiding, lying, pretending -- years of wrapping myself in my sickness. I have held my disease close to me. At first it seemed to bring safety, but I came to find that it was actually a death shroud. I wondered how any good could ever come from my years of pain.

After entering Recovery and working the Program, I have come to see that Nothing Is Wasted. Every sorrow, every injury, and every failure have brought me to this fruitful forest of New Life. Had I never suffered, I would never have found the Serenity that comes from choosing Gratitude. Had my life been easy, I would not have the appreciation I have gained for each new day. No one values safety, peace, and growth quite so profoundly as do those who have lived without them for so very long.

As I keep my mind, heart, and perspective focused on God, growth, and life, I find that my pain has become a nurse log; rich with all that is needed to bring life where once was only death.

One day at a time . . .
I will remember that nothing is wasted. I will choose to appreciate the pain and wisdom of the God-given nurse log which feeds me with hope and peace.

Lisa V

[yukonm]

March 18

EXAMPLE

"Setting an example is not the main
means of influencing another.
It is the only means."
Albert Einstein


Program's philosophy dictates that we gain new members by attraction rather than promotion. We should be striving to become living embodiments of Program principles in order that we might attract and inspire those in need whom we may encounter in our daily lives - just as we were fortunate enough to find our way here because of the amazing effort, inspiration and example of the Program founders. Because of their blood, sweat and tears, Program has grown in leaps and bounds over the years . Now - its future growth rests with us. Are you prepared for this responsibility?

One Day at a Time . . .
I will diligently work the tools of my program and be a shining example of recovery to others.

Rob R.

[yukonm]

March 19

Commitment

Shallow men believe in luck ~
Strong men believe in cause and effect.
Ralph Waldo Emerson

Abstinence did not happen for me until I made a commitment to it. I realized that I would have abstinence until something was a bit too uncomfortable for me to face or feel. Then I would have a slip. So it became a game for me. Was this event or circumstance enough to justify another slip? Sure, why not? That's the nature of the disease. Everything and anything was an excuse to eat.
It wasn't until I made a commitment to abstinence that I was forced to find my solutions in the Twelve Steps and really let go of my addiction. I'm grateful to my Higher Power that I hit the bottom I did. By accepting the truth about myself and my food addiction, I am now free to live in the solution.

One Day at a Time . . .
I will renew my commitment by receiving the gift of abstinence and practicing my program to the best of my ability.

Christine S.

[yukonm]

March 20

Maintenance

"Another flaw in the human character is
that everybody wants to build and nobody
wants to do maintenance."
Kurt Vonnegut Jr.

With the help of our Higher Power, sponsors, and fellow Program members we have completed the 12 Steps, studied the Big Book, hit regular meetings, worked the loops, given service, etc .... and finally were able to achieve abstinence and reach our recovery goals! Reaching our goals is one thing, but now we must maintain what we've struggled so hard to achieve. As COE's, we never truly lose our addiction for food. Relape is only a heartbeat away. Therefore, we must diligently strive to continue working the Program tools to guard this precious gift that we have earned.

One Day at a Time . . .
I will diligently maintain the recovery goals I have worked so long and hard to achieve.

Rob R.

[HTELLONE]

March 2

EXPERIENCE

"I'm not afraid of storms . . .
for I'm learning how to sail my ship."

Louisa May Alcott





We spend our youth living and experiencing life. At some point our experiences become lessons. We who are compulsive eaters weren't aware of that when we began to eat out of control. Deep down, however, we were living and experiencing food issues. These issues later would become our lessons.

I am so grateful that the Twelve Steps made it possible for me to look at my past experiences and see the reality they presented. If not, I may have continued life in denial.


One Day at a Time . . .
I will use the lessons I have learned to make the quality of my life better.


~ Mari ~
Thank you for giving me the awareness of my issues with food. I am so a recovering alcoholic. Glad to be able to put the steps of AA to work .

[yukonm]

March 21

PATIENCE

"Patience is the companion of wisdom."
Saint Augustine

Patience is an area that I have had some REAL problems with in the past. I had a tendency to want - what I want - NOW! That included recovery. Gaining recovery, as I would eventually realize, is not the same as earning a university credit. It is a process not an end result. You have to be willing to learn to do things in HP's time and manner rather than your own. What began to happen was - the more impatient I became - the more life tended to resist my efforts. It took a long time for me to realize this. Instead of calming down, I would get even more impatient and struggle even harder. Eventually, I would have a big meltdown and feel like a fool afterwards.

The end result was absolutely no different for having done this. It took time for me to muster the willingness to do things in HP's time and manner. But when I did - life became much more peaceful and things had a tendency to work themselves out - without all the dramatics.

One Day at a Time . . .
I will learn to patiently and willingly do things in HP's time and manner.

Rob R.

[yukonm]

March 22

PUSHING BUTTONS & PATIENCE

"Adopt the pace of nature; her secret is Patience."
Ralph Waldo Emerson

When I first came to Program, I didn't really know what abstinence was. I thought it was a diet. It turned out to be far more than I ever imagined. Since beginning, I've gained abstinence, I've lost weight and my physical, mental, emotional and spiritual well-being has changed more than I ever thought possible. I've come so far ... beyond my wildest dreams ... yet, sometimes it feels like it's still not enough. I'll get in a row with my 12 year old daughter over some minor issue. She has a way of pushing my buttons which sends me into "fingerpointing" and "lecture" mode - good intentions gone totally awry! She'll ultimately tune me out - and I'll walk away feeling like a bad parent. The guilt will set in and I'll deride myself for lacking patience and having bad judgement! But once I've calmed down - I'll remind myself that my intentions were good and - as in my food plan - progress not perfection has to apply to my parenting just as it does to my any other aspect of my recovery. This requires me to be patient with MYSELF as well as with others.

One Day at a Time . . .
I will learn to be patient with myself as well as with others.

Rob R.

[yukonm]

March 23

Progress, Not Perfection

"The maxim 'Nothing but perfection'
may be spelled "Paralysis."
Winston Churchill

I can't count the number of times I've heard the expression, "progress not perfection" from my sponsor and used it with my sponsees. We take little steps - one day at a time - which gradually lead to greater steps. Small successes eventually will lead to bigger successes. Often though, we want it all and we want it NOW!

Recovery is a process - not an end result. It requires a kind of a balancing act - if we try to juggle more balls than what we're capable of comfortably balancing - we will crash and this can lead to relapse. So rather than juggling five balls and crashing - it's better to juggle three really well and gradually work in a 4th or a fifth.

One Day at a Time . . .
I will focus on making progress rather than trying to be perfect.

Rob

[yukonm]

March 24


Positive Thinking

"It takes but one positive when given
a chance to survive and thrive to overpower
and entire army of negative thoughts."

Robert H. Schuller






A positive attitude is crucial for a successful recovery. This summer, I wasn laid up with two torn tendons in my left ankle. This happened right at the start of my summer vacation. When it first happened, I was VERY dejected. This had to happen NOW!!! Just when my holidays are starting? (not that ANY time is a good time to receive an injury!). However, upon reflection it WAS good timing. I didn't have get myself to and from work. My daughter was finished school for the summer and was able to be home to assist me with day to day stuff. Plus I had just taken on some new OA service responsibilities and being home allowed me the time to really focus and internalize my new roles. Instead of looking at this as a negative - I think HP gave me an opportunity here to rest up and do some service at the same time. My daughter and I did some wonderful bonding as well. It would have been very easy just to turn negative and feel sorry for myself . But I simply would have made myself (and everyone around me) miserable during the my six weeks of recovery. Instead, it's turned out to be a wonderful learning experience (not to mention it provided a good idea for this meditation topic!). Life's too short for cheap wHine, n'est past?





One Day at a Time . . .
I will look at life from a positive point of view.

~ Rob R.

[yukonm]

March 25


Present Moment

"Do not dwell in the past, do not
dream of the future, concentrate on
the present moment."

Buddha






Staying focused, serene and receptive requires that we keep our attention placed in the present moment. If we allow our minds to be overly focused in the future (ie on outcomes such as "what if's" or "if only's") or in the past (ie past resentments, past embarrassments, or "would've beens, "could've beens") we allow ourselves to be subject to the psychological and emotional roller coaster ride that can go with these states. These meanderings into the past or present, colour our judgement and play a major role in contributing to our eating disorder. Therefore, it is imperative that we practise staying in the moment in order to maintain a healthy recovery.





One Day at a Time . . .
I will choose to live in the serenity of the present moment.

~ Rob R.

[yukonm]

March 26

Victimization

"Within each of us lies the power of our consent to health and to sickness,
to riches and to poverty, to freedom and to slavery.
It is we who control these, and not another.”
Richard Bach

I have lived most of my life believing that I was a victim of circumstance. As a “victim” I believed I had no power, no options, no choices, no hope and no control in my life. It’s so tempting to be a victim. If I’m a victim, I am not responsible for anything. Every pain, every dysfunction, every addiction, every problem was not my “fault” and there was nothing I could do to improve my life. Or so I thought.

One day a friend asked me if I actually wanted to be well and I was shocked to find that the immediate answer flooding from my heart was, “NO.” Wow! You would think that a victim would give anything in order to be well, yet I found that I was terrified of the responsibility of being well. If I were well, I would be in charge of my own choices – particularly the most primal choices of all: Life or Death, holding onto powerlessness, or reaching out to grasp hope and health.

I am still tempted to return to the false security of victim-hood. Yet I come to recovery, and keep coming back. I work the program, I learn, I fail, I fall. I rise again and begin again.

One day at a time...
I will remember that I have the power, the freedom, and the responsibility to make choices which move me towards health. I will resist the siren call of victimization.

Lisa V.

[yukonm]

March 27

Forgiveness

"To err is human, to forgive is divine."
Alexander Pope

When most of us first came into Program, we carried around a great deal of shame, guilt, and resentment. This made it very difficult for us to forgive ourselves, or others, for various past transgressions. We usually must rely on the forgiveness and support of other Program members before we come to a point of being able to truly forgive ourselves.

Coming to the point of self-forgiveness is a crucial step because once we have achieved it for ourselves, we can finally come to the stage of maturity to begin to forgive others. By offering true forgiveness we can begin to release the plethora of harbored resentments that have poisoned our souls and hindered our recovery for so many years.

One Day at a Time . . .
I will work towards learning to forgive myself so that I might eventually learn to forgive others.
Rob R.

[yukonm]

March 28

GRATITUDE

"Gratitude is a fruit of a great civilization ~ you do not find it among gross people."
Samuel Johnson

Samuel Johnson's quote from the TOUR OF THE HEBRIDES could easily have been written about The Recovery Group. The attitude of gratitude is an absolutely crucial tool to a successful recovery. Gratitude is the measure of our appreciation for what we've been given. We in Program have SO much for which we should be thankful. We stand on the shoulders of giants - we are indebted to those members who've proceeded us in Program and handed down the tools, wisdom and resources - the bedrock upon which our recovery is based. We are indebted to our HP, our sponsors, to those who do service in innumerable ways at the Recovery Group and - to each other - for mutual love and support - and for our precious gift of recovery. Be grateful for each day - each moment.

One Day at a Time . . . I will continue to practice the attitude of gratitude and learn to forgive others.
Rob R.

[yukonm]

March 29

ISOLATION

“Isolation is the sum total of wretchedness to a man.”
Thomas Carlyle

This past summer I was forced to play "catch-up" at work in order to compensate for time lost while recovering from a serious ankle injury. As a result of my increased responsibilities, I stopped touching base with my friends and family -- Program family included -- except via the occasional email or phone call.

Fortunately, my friends and my sponsor are not the "shrinking violet" types. They took me to task about my whereabouts and well being. Because COE is a disease of isolation, it's extremely important to make sure we're making contact with others. We do this by using the tools of the Program: sharing with our support group, meetings, and sponsor.

When we don’t allow ourselves to have regular, daily social outflow and personal accountability – even with a good excuse – we are more likely to relapse.

One day at a time...
I will make a determined effort to connect and share with others.
Rob R.

[yukonm]

March 30


DISLOYALTY

"“Health is the greatest gift,
contentment the greatest wealth,
faithfulness the best relationship.”
..... Buddah


I have a history of chaotic relationships filled with destructive drama and a lack of loyalty. For many years, however, I believed that I was in fact a very loyal friend – and that it was my friends who were disloyal to me.

I was an avid -- even rabid -- people-pleaser. I drove myself crazy trying to figure out what people wanted and how I could best provide that for them. Because I thought I knew what was best for everybody, I failed to truly listen to the people in my life. Instead, I tried to impose my will upon them…then I wondered why they didn’t appreciate all of my efforts on “their” behalf. When they inevitably became frustrated with me, I was wounded by what I perceived to be their lack of loyalty to me.

Only recently in my recovery program have I come to learn that my efforts at people-pleasing were actually symptoms of my own disloyalty. I was failing to relate with people as they are – rather I was relating to them as I thought they “should be”. That is perhaps the most egregious form of disloyalty…insisting that others be loyal to my concept of them and myself.

Now I am taking steps to honestly listen to people and to relate with them as they are – and as I truly am. I am no longer hiding behind food. In order to be loyal in my relationships, I must be loyal to the ‘Truth of Reality.’ Only then can we share the joy of faithful relationships.

One day at a time ... I will practice listening to the people in my life and I will honor them as they are. Each day I can choose to be loyal, rather than critical or people-pleasing.

~ Lisa

[yukonm]

March 31

LOYALTY

"Health is the greatest gift,
contentment the greatest wealth,
faithfulness the best relationship."
Buddah


I have a history of chaotic relationships filled with destructive drama and a lack of loyalty. For many years, however, I believed that I was in fact a very loyal friend – and that it was my friends who were disloyal to me.

I was an avid -- even rabid -- people-pleaser. I drove myself crazy trying to figure out what people wanted and how I could best provide that for them. Because I thought I knew what was best for everybody, I failed to truly listen to the people in my life. Instead, I tried to impose my will upon them … then I wondered why they didn’t appreciate all of my efforts on “their” behalf. When they inevitably became frustrated with me, I was wounded by what I perceived to be their lack of loyalty to me.

Only recently in my recovery program have I come to learn that my efforts at people-pleasing were actually symptoms of my own disloyalty. I was failing to relate with people as they are – rather, I was relating to them as I thought they “should be.” That is perhaps the most egregious form of disloyalty… insisting that others be loyal to my concept of them and myself.

Now I am taking steps to honestly listen to people and to relate with them as they are – and as I truly am. I am no longer hiding behind food. In order to be loyal in my relationships, I must be loyal to the ‘Truth of Reality.’ Only then can we share the joy of faithful relationships.

One day at a time ... I will practice listening to the people in my life and I will honor them as they are. Each day I can choose to be loyal, rather than critical or people-pleasing.

Lisa