Reflections for Every Day - May

[yukonm]

May 1

James Says:

It has been 24 years since my last drink. A wise old timer told me his story as I lay in my bed in the intensive care unit of a large metropolitan hospital. An auto accident caused by my drinking was the reason for my being there. He said, "Jim, listen to what I say and you will never have to feel this way again." I hung on to those words and still do today. Keeping it green helps me to remember the bad times and what I was doing to make them go from bad to worse.

[yukonm]

May 2

Kathleen Says:

For me, alcohol gave me something I needed but it quit working. The depression and feelings of loneliness and craziness became too much and I knew I would/will die if I continue to drink. First, I had to get honest and sober. This was not easy to admit to. I lied about my drinking and others did not want to believe I had a problem. When I went to my first meeting it was a relief. Hiding and lying is hard work.

[yukonm]

May 3

Lyssa Says:

One of the best parts about the AA program for me has been the realization that I don't have to have "all" of the answers. I always felt that I had to be the one to figure things out or make them right - trying to make everyone happy I guess. Today I can be free from all of that because I know that it's okay to say "I don't know."

[bluidkiti]

May 4

Marta G. Says:

It was much easier to take his inventory instead of my own. When I finally let go, I not only discovered all the pain but what a wonderful person I really am. My time is no longer occupied with thoughts of pity, regret and revenge. I finally gave my gifts to someone who appreciates me . . . me!

[yukonm]

May 5

Amy Says:

When I tried to control my drinking and convince myself I was able to moderate, I would pat myself on the back for having one beer at a restaurant. But it would always lead to thoughts of alcohol and before long I would buy a bottle of wine and consume it. I could never predict if I would be okay with the one bottle or "have to" drive to get another one. I didn't drink every day but it was obvious that wasn't the point. I could not predict how much I would "need" to drink and I hated that.

[yukonm]

May 6

J.M. Says:

I've never liked when people say about any situation 'you can't understand unless you've been there,' because I think empathy and intuition are gifts most human beings possess. And one of the most understanding people in my life is someone who has never been an alcoholic. He's actually my MD, and he is helping me climb my way out of this with patience, understanding, and encouragement.

[yukonm]

May 7

Brenda Y. Says:

All I ever knew was the bar clan, they were my friends, my confidence, my life! But when events led to a life of sobriety I found that those people where not my friends, where not my confidence, and that I could no longer relate to them! I no longer had to drink, because it was Friday, or a event, which I surely could always make one for any day, I found my friends were truly my AA group, they had bits and pieces of my same story in life, we share, we cry, we know!

[yukonm]

May 8

Beth J. Says:

Since becoming sober, I have a new home, my daughter, and am enrolled in a medical program which requires a lot of work! It is easy to become overwhelmed and lay the basics aside. I must remember that it is my sobriety that is allowing me to enjoy these achievements and that without daily maintenance (meetings, prayer, reading, contact with sponsor) I fall susceptible to returning to the hellish life that I was leading prior to my becoming sober in AA.

[yukonm]

May 9

Lolly Says:

After a long struggle to get back I did, at the age of 19 I came back to NA and started working the steps, sharing what was REALLY going on for me, doing service and connecting with a sponsor. This stuff really works, I have just started to make amends and what a gift it is to be able to sit with my father and acknowledge my wrongs, and see the light come back into his eyes as well as my own.

[yukonm]

May 10

Beth J. Says:

After being sober in Alcoholics Anonymous for a little over a year I understand what is meant when people say that they don't have to go back out and drink again because other people do it for them. I haven't yet heard an alcoholic come in after a slip and say "Man, that was great!" They always, without fail return miserable and beaten and they let me know that it's not gotten any better out there.

[yukonm]

May 11

Steve R. Says:

A mistake often made is the misperception that just abstaining from our substance of choice is enough to get into and stay in recovery. This is a mistake that could end up being fatal. There are problems that underlie substance abuse, and unless we learn to recognize and address those underlying problems, we are not truly progressing in our recovery. I've found 12-step recovery fellowships and working the steps to be invaluable in this process.

[yukonm]

May 12

Nenna Says:

For me self-pity is dangerous. If I let my self sink into it too long I will end up drinking again. My sponsor used to say, "Okay, so you are sorry for yourself and that is allowed - for about 15 minutes. Then sit down and write a gratitude list."

[yukonm]

May 13

Betty Ann Says:

I sometimes go about a debate of what God's will for me is, and during one of these mental triathlons I prayed in all sincerity for him to enlighten me. I paused and what came in meditation was: When you can process where you've been, acknowledge and own your part, and then move on, you're in God's will. It helps me alot to remember that, when I am living my program that I am in God's will.

[yukonm]

May 14

Legal Eagle Says:

Today, I am truly grateful to the program and the support groups, including my dear family who provided me with all the help that I desperately needed. I have learned that we can overcome almost any obstacle just by living a sober life and helping others. I didn't always feel this way, but have come a long way. My family and friends have truly gained the real me back again and can count on me to be there for them.

[yukonm]

May 15

Ariel Z. Says:

Being in a sober marriage is not always easy. I think the hardest lessons have been learning to share responsibility instead of making all the decisions myself and learning to accept criticism, getting down off my pedestal.

[yukonm]

May 16

Mazie Says:

When I was drinking I did not care about anyone or anything. Now I help everyone that I can. It sure beats laying on the railroad tracks telling the conductor he was on the wrong track. Now I know I am on the right track. God Bless AA and your support.

[yukonm]

May 17

Beth J. Says:

In my hectic day to day life, I must constantly stop and remind myself where my priorities lie. Remember that this program may not be your whole life, but it allows you to enjoy a life that is whole. I'm so grateful for this program and to know that my first priority today is to stay sober.

[yukonm]

May 18

Seabreeze Says:

'The Suffering Alcoholic' can look strong, and have many good days in the fellowship, but we can only get our daily reprieve from our madness if we believe the people who have been before us with all our hearts. I am sure any meeting good or difficult will make you better after the meeting than before. Thanks for helping me to have more good days than bad since I came into the fellowship.

[yukonm]

May 19

James Says:

People ask me, "What is so great about sobriety?" I tell them, "Getting up in the morning." Why? Because when I get up in the morning, I'm not hung over or worried about what I might have done the night before. We hear the expression, "Beyond my wildest dreams." Well, I don't have things beyond my wildest dreams. However, I get what I get, and I'm happy with what I got.

[yukonm]

May 20

Penny Says:

For various reasons I have not been able to attend Al-Anon meetings for the last two months or so. It shows. Even my 16 year old is trying to force me out the door and telling me to get to a meeting. It seems that my changed attitude does affect those around me. I will attend the very next meeting in my area and start the healing process again.

[yukonm]

May 21

Patricia T. Says:

Alcoholism is powerful. I had a car accident and physically died twice. Somehow they brought me back, but I lost 10 years of memory, forgot I was divorced after 21 years of marriage, forgot both of my parents had died and I attended their funerals, forgot I smoked cigarettes, but I sure didn't forget I wanted ANOTHER drink. The insanity is overwhelming. I am approaching my four-year sobriety date, one day at a time.

[yukonm]

May 22

Darin G. Says:

I have the unique opportunity to answer the question "what would I do different if I had it to do all over again?" In sobriety I AM doing it all over again. Re-defining my career, my education, my goals, likes, dislikes, interests, motivations, personality, friends and friendships. Fourteen years late, thousands of dollars short, I finally get it. Life is a festival, nothing of value comes at a lesser price.

[yukonm]

May 23

Michael B. Says:

I've been three years sober now to think about all the meaningful missed opportunities I blew for the opportunity to get loaded. But, I somehow managed to keep my employ of 30 years and a super-wife who, lived through that war and refused to give up on me. No "thank you" could be big enough for all that. Growing old is mandatory, thank heavens the growing up element waited for silly me.

[yukonm]

May 24

Debra G. Says:

After spending the last eight months away from the alcoholic in my life, I still struggle in moments of loneliness to remain strong and confident that I am making better choices, no matter how difficult they feel. I love my Just For Today goals, they remind me what small steps can do to achieve larger goals in daily life. I can now live most days not beating myself up if I don't achieve everything that has to be done.

[yukonm]

May 25

Jessie Z. Says:

I often get caught up thinking about the past or the future - things I have no control over. When I allow myself to do this, I waste this moment that my Higher Power has allowed me to have right now. When I let myself live in the current moment I can enjoy life in a way that I never imagined possible.

[yukonm]

May 26

Gail U. Says:

It seems that the longer I hang around here and don't use, the more I am aware of my character defects. Today, I am at the point where I can no longer manipulate the people in my life for my own selfishness. I am feeling and behaving like a grown-up. I am a grateful recovering addict. This program has provided me the tools to have a life worth living.

[yukonm]

May 27

Denise S. Says:

Recovery to me is a process. I honestly try to the best of my ability to live in the moment. I always remember this when I'm driving in my car. The rear view mirror is my past. I mean I see it and I know it's there, but it order to grow and move forward I need to look straight in front at the windshield and continue to move forward, one day at a time.

[yukonm]

May 28

Betty Ann Says:

As I have continually heard in meetings, feelings are not facts they change. How I feel on a particular day about an issue is subject to change, so I must always remember that it's okay to feel my feelings and yet I don't have to act on each and every one. When I journal these feelings I own them, and then they no longer affect my thinking and own me.

[yukonm]

May 29

Edie Says:

Yes indeed, I was brain washed in AA! Thank goodness! My "self talk" was not helpful. It gives new meaning to the phrase "Change your mind, change your life." Life goes on but I've learned new ways to look at it. I've found a comfort range so I can live with myself sober.

[MajestyJo]

Ron C. Says:

What a gift to have a clear mind. I am so grateful to the 12 Steps that keep me thinking clearly. They keep me not only free from the foggy chemical thinking of alcoholism, but they also keep me free from foggy emotional turmoil and bring me a moment-by-moment conscious clarity. What a gift to have a clear mind.

Note:

The "Thoughts of the Day" are from members of various 12 step programs. Some are A.A., some Al-Anon, and some Adult Children of Alcoholics. Take what you need and leave the rest!

A NA member shared with me:

Take what you what you need, and take what you don't need and put it on a shelf. You just might find someone who needs it and you can pass it on.

I use to say, "I have a lot of stuff on my shelf, because I don't like dusting." I found that out, because as I grew in recovery, some of those things on the shelf, I had to go back and pick them up for myself.

[MajestyJo]

Beth J. Says:

When I was drinking, I forgot how to live. Life consisted of getting booze, drinking it, trying to hide that I was drinking it, and suffering the aftereffects (which I learned to medicate with more alcohol). Today I feel like I am really living. I wake up feeling good (no morning jitters) I can look at and appreciate my surroundings, and I enjoy doing things again. I thank my higher power on a daily basis for freeing me from the bondage of alcohol and allowing me to live again.
Note:

The "Thoughts of the Day" are from members of various 12 step programs. Some are A.A., some Al-Anon, and some Adult Children of Alcoholics. Take what you need and leave the rest!