More Recovery Readings - July

[bluidkiti]

July 1

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
Those who contemplate the beauty of the earth find reserves of strength that will endure as long as life lasts. --Rachel Carson
Beauty is everywhere. It is in the daisies, in the lavender wildflowers, in the new green grass of spring. As we walk through life, noticing such beauty strengthens us. It reminds us of the spiritual creative force alive in this world On better days, we can feel our own creativity gaining power from such beauty. On harder days, nature's sunset can help us step out of our suffering for a moment to be comforted and inspired by its splendor.
Even storms, in their wild and angry way, show us a power greater than ourselves. Such awesome beauty is beyond our understanding, and yet it is part of the earth we live on.
What lessons will nature teach me today?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
If you are seeking creative ideas, go out walking. Angels whisper to a man when he goes for a walk. --Raymond Inmon
We all seek creative ideas from time to time - perhaps when we have a problem resting heavily on our minds, or when we are simply in a bad mood. We need to refresh ourselves at those times. Refreshment doesn't solve a problem, but it can revitalize our thinking. Sometimes when we are feeling hopeless, we neglect to care for ourselves, forgetting a better environment will give us a stronger attitude, even toward the most difficult problems.
We must learn our own best methods for being refreshed - ways that allow angels to whisper to us. They should be simple, inexpensive, and accessible daily. Going for a walk is a very good example. Daily reading and study is another possibility. Observing nature, doing handicrafts or hobbies are refreshing for some men. These activities allow us to temporarily set aside our tasks and concerns and open us to creative ideas.
Today, I will give myself a creative break from the concerns I am facing.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
It's quite uncomfortable to be an adolescent at age thirty-two. --Peggy Cahn
Our lives are in process every moment, which means change is ever-present. As new information is sorted and acquired, old habits are discarded. We don't let go of some old behaviors easily, however. They are like comfortable shoes. They may be worn thin, and they probably embarrass us in certain company, but we slip them on unconsciously and then it's too late.
Maturity is an "as if" behavior, initially. Emotional development was stunted, for most of us, with the onset of our addictive behavior, thus, we often respond to situations like adolescents. Application of the "as if" principle will result both in new personal attitudes and unfamiliar, yet welcome, responses from others. Acting as if we are capable, strong, confident, or serene will pave the way for making those behaviors real, after a time. If we believe in ourselves and our ability to become the women we strive to be, we can then move forward confidently.
When my behavior embarrasses or shames me, I will accept the responsibility for changing it. Changing it offers immediate rewards. The people around me will react in refreshing ways, and I'll feel more fully alive.


You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
Receiving
Here is an exercise.
Today let someone give to you. Let someone do something nice for you. Let someone give you a compliment or tell you something good about yourself. Let someone help you.
Then, stand there and take it. Take it in. Feel it. Know that you are worthy and deserving. Do not apologize. Do not say, "You shouldn't have." Do you feel guilty, afraid, ashamed, and panicky? Do not immediately try to give something back.
Just say, "Thank you."
Today, I will let myself receive one thing from someone else, and I will let myself be comfortable with that.


Today I will listen to the messages that go on in my head and decide for myself if they are healthy. Today I will choose to follow positive messages that I tell myself or create new messages that are positive and healthy. --Ruth Fishel

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Journey To The Heart

Embrace Each Cycle of Your Life

It took me a long time to accept wearing glasses. I am still surprised when I need my spectacles to read a menu or scan the telephone directory. Sometimes I look in the mirror expecting to see the body, the face of my youth because I remember her. She’s still in me.

Now I’m learning to welcome aging, as each decade of life brings its own challenges, joys, sorrows, and teachings. I’m learning to trust the lessons of each cycle of my life. I don’t fear aging, for I know that it’s as much, and as important, a part of life as my youth.

“My mother just had her seventieth birthday,” the woman at the lodge told me. “My sister and I asked her what she wanted. She wanted a wet suit for diving because waterskiing had strained her back.”

What does getting older mean to you?

Young and old. All part of the same. Each moment is a moment of life, your life. Each cycle has its lessons. Dig out your glasses, if you must, but laugh whe you do it. And remember to make each moment count.

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More Language Of Letting Go

Learn to say how it feels

He no longer dreamed of storms, nor of women, nor of great occurrences, nor of great fish, nor fights, nor contests of strength, nor of his wife. He only dreamed of places now and of the lions on the beach.
–Ernest Hemingway

Many teachers of our time attribute consciousness– energy not just matter– to all creations that exist in God’s marvelous world. Many teachers from ancient times espoused this philosophy,too.

How does it feel when you sit next to a sprawling oak tree? How does it feel when you lie in the hot sand at the beach, listening to the waves splashing on the shore? How does it feel in your kitchen in the morning? How does it feel when you’re with your best friend? Or your spouse?

How does it feel to go into a store filled with beautiful objects, stuffy salesclerks, and signs that scream: DO NOT TOUCH?

Many of us are survivors. We learned the art of leaving our bodies early on, perhaps in our childhood or maybe later, as a way of coping with situations that didn’t feel good and that didn’t feel right to us. We learned to deny how a situation felt– and often how it felt to be with certain people– in order to cope with situations we found ourselves in that we didn’t have the tools or power to escape. We trained ourselves to ignore how things felt because either we told ourselves we had no choice, or we truly didn’t have a say in the matter.

We don’t have to survive anymore. That time is past. Now, it’s time to live.

Come back into your body. Stretch your senses, so that they fill up all of you– your sense of taste, smell, touch, sight, and sound, and your intuitive senses,too. How do you feel emotionally? If you can’t put words to it, just describe it as best as you can. Then go to the next level. Tune into the feelings and moods of the world around you, but not so much that you take these feelings on as yours. Tune in just enough to recognize how the energy of each situation feels to you.

Don’t judge your responses and feelings as either good or bad. And you don’t have to do anything to control how it feels– to you or anyone else. Just allow yourself to experience and recognize how it feels to be you.

Part of speaking the language of letting go means learning to delight and revel in all our senses, including our inner knowing.

Learn to say with trust and confidence, This is how I feel.

God, help me come fully to life.

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Food for Thought

Saying No

There are times when all of us find it difficult to say no. Even though we realize intellectually that we cannot have and do everything, we have trouble saying no to the foods, activities, and people that are not good for us.

Abstaining means saying “No, thank you” when offered something not on our food plan. We may think that we are afraid of hurting someone else’s feelings by our refusal, but usually it is our own compulsive desire that prevents us from giving a firm no. Our sanity and health are more important than pleasing whoever is offering what we should not have.

As we work the program, we become more aware of the people and activities that use up our energies unnecessarily. Avoiding them gives us more time and strength for what means most to us. Learning when and how to say no is a very important part of our recovery. Most often, the person we need to say no to is ourself.

I pray for the strength to say no to what is not good for me.

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A Refuge of Your Own
Creating a Garden Sanctuary

by Madisyn Taylor

A personal outdoor sanctuary is an important part of feeling connected to all of life.


Each of us has been blessed with an innate need to celebrate and glorify life. At a most basic level, we honor the forces that came together to bring us into being by caring for our bodies and our souls. To truly rejoice in existence, we must also learn to cultivate loveliness in those special places that replenish the soul. When we create a garden sanctuary, we are reminded that we are a part of both nature's essence and something more. An outdoor retreat is a place we can surround ourselves in nature, beauty, and the life force. It is not difficult to create a sanctuary—we should endeavor, however, to create sanctuaries that speak to us as individuals.

Whether we have a yard, a grassy corner, a patio, or a porch at our disposal, our creative potential is infinite. Any of these spaces can become a magnificent garden. When we feel drawn to specific themes such as Zen, angels, paradise, or the ethereal, we should explore them. Décor and furniture crafted from natural materials like wood and stone blend seamlessly into nature. Yet we can also augment the natural world by filling our garden sanctuaries with statues, bells or gongs, or colorful flags. Running water, like that in a created stream or fountain, helps energy flow smoothly. If space is a concern, crystals and mirrors can fulfill the same function. Hidden features like concealed swings and reflecting pools veiled in shadow can surprise and delight. As your garden sanctuary evolves, remember to invite the elemental spirits of nature to assist you in your efforts to create a small pocket of harmony, beauty, and peace in your own backyard. If you have not already felt th! eir presence, sit quietly in your garden and reach out to them. You will feel these earthly guides at your side as you continue to develop your sanctuary.

In the refuge of brilliant color, sweet scents, and stillness you create in your garden, the burdens imposed upon you by a sometimes hectic world will melt away. The splendor and tranquility of what you have brought into being will entrance you, allowing you to forget the constraints of time and space. No matter how large or small your garden sanctuary, the time you spend reveling in its pleasures will refresh your spirit and provide you with innumerable opportunities to celebrate life. Published with permission from Daily OM

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A Day at a Time

Reflection for the Day
Fear may have originally brought some of us to The Program. In the beginning, fear alone may help some of us stay away from the first drink, pill, joint or whatever. But a fearful state is hardly conducive to comfort and happiness - not for long. We have to find alternatives to fear to get us through those first empty hours, days or even weeks. For most of us, the answer has been to become active in and around The Program. In no time, we feel that we truly belong; for the first time in a long time, we begin to feel a "part of" rather than "apart from."
Am I willing to take the initiative?
Today I Pray
May God please help me find alternatives to fear - that watchdog of my earliest abstinence. I thank Him for directing me to a place where I can meet others who have experienced the same compulsions and fears. I am grateful for my feeling of belonging.
Today I Will Remember
I am "a part of," not "apart from."

[bluidkiti]

July 2

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
Now my soul hath elbowroom. --William Shakespeare
If we spend too much time together we are bound to grow weary of one another. This would happen regardless of who the other person was. In a family, we need some time apart to pursue other interests and friendships. We may be able to meet many needs for each other, but there will be some we cannot meet. If we press too hard upon one another we will cramp our life together.
Our needs for space aren't just physical. Freedom to think and feel what seems appropriate for us, to be alone if we want, is a large part of our lives together. Only with this kind of freedom is love possible. Love requires freedom. We need to value each other, and at the same time realize that no one person or family can fill us with all life has to offer.
What are my own freedoms at home?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
Fair play is primarily not blaming others for anything that is wrong with us. --Eric Hoffer
As adults, we accept responsibility for our feelings and our circumstances. We haven't chosen our own troubles, but we have the job of dealing with them. If a man falls and breaks a leg, he might say to someone, "It's your fault, and I'll make you pay for this!" But that won't fix his leg. The healing still has to come from within.
Our impulse to blame others is an attempt to escape our responsibilities. We become overcritical. We want someone else to take the rap for our pain and our misdeeds, but this only delays our wholeness as men. There is no point in blaming ourselves either. When we first confront our discomfort directly and accept responsibility for dealing with it, we feel an inner urge to escape again. If we stay with the discomfort a while, a new stage begins - the healing and acceptance stage. A feeling of wholeness comes, a feeling of being a real person, of having reached our full size.
May I not indulge in blame today - toward myself or anyone else. Instead, may I be a strong, responsible man.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
Humor is such a strong weapon, such a strong answer. Women have to make jokes about themselves, laugh about themselves, because they have nothing to lose. --Agnes Varda
Laughter can cure a physical condition; it can and will positively affect an emotional illness as well. Laughter ushers in a new perspective which gives vent to a changed attitude. And our attitude toward any situation, any individual, is all-powerful.
A negative, critical attitude toward our financial situation, toward our disease, toward our boss, or spouse, or children, determines how we feel moment by moment. In like manner, when we raise our sights, look at the world with lightness in our hearts, expecting to enjoy the day, the people, the activity, we'll succeed.
Finding humor in a situation, any situation prevents us from succumbing to feelings of powerlessness. Feeling powerless, behaving as victims, came easily for many of us before we chose this program and the Twelve Steps to live by. Choosing a humorous response, opting to laugh at our situation, at any point in time, keeps our personal power where it belongs--with ourselves.
My emotional health depends on my active involvement in deciding who I am, right now. Deciding to chuckle rather than snarl will give me an unexpected emotional boost.


You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
Who Knows Best?
Others do not know what's best for us.
We do not know what's best for others.
It is our job to determine what's best for ourselves.
"I know what you need." . . . "I know what you should do." . . . "Now listen, this is what I think you should be working on right now."
These are audacious statements, beliefs that take us away from how we operate on a spiritual plane of life. Each of us is given the ability to be able to discern and detect our own path, on a daily basis. This is not always easy. We may have to struggle to reach that quiet, still place.
Giving advice, making decisions for others, mapping out their strategy, is not our job. Nor is it their job to direct us. Even if we have a clean contract with someone to help us - such as in a sponsorship relationship - we cannot trust that others always know what is best for us. We are responsible for listening to the information that comes to us. We are responsible for asking for guidance and direction., But it is our responsibility to sift and sort through information, and then listen to ourselves about what is best for us. Nobody can know that but ourselves.
A great gift we can give to others is to be able to trust in them - that they have their own source of guidance and wisdom, that they have the ability to discern what is best for them and the right to find that path by making mistakes and learning.
To trust ourselves to be able to discover - through that same imperfect process of struggle, trial, and error - is a great gift we can give ourselves.
Today, I will remember that we are each given the gift of being able to discover what is best for ourselves. God, help me trust that gift.

I am accepting myself just as I am, imperfections and all. I am not striving to be perfect today. I only want to grow, to change, to become more and more open and let God and love be in charge of my life." --Ruth Fishel

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Journey To The Heart

What Would Make You Happy?

Why don’t you make yourself happy? Did someone tell you you couldn’t be happy, couldn’t let life help you out? It doesn’t matter who told you you couldn’t have what you wanted. What matters is if you’re still telling yourself that now.

Yes, there are many situations in life in which we need to go without, do what needs to be done, get the job done. There are times when a particular purpose is served by depriving ourselves. But there are also situations– many more than we think– in which we can have what we want. There are moments when what we want matters.

Look into your heart. Ask yourself what you want. What would feel good? What would bring joy? Is anything to be gained by depriving yourself a while longer? Get creative. Look around. What are some ways you could give yourself what you want? What could you do to create your life more to your liking?

Giving yourself what you want isn’t selfish. It teaches others they can have more of what they want from life,too.

Use your imagination. Set yourself free. Let yourself see the pictures and feel the emotions of what would make you happy. Then take a moment, pause, and smile. You’re beginning to get a glimpse of all you can have from God.

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More Language Of Letting Go

It’s good for your heart

“I know I’ve got some emotions up, just brewing right beneath the surface,” Jake said one day. “I’m edgy, irritable, and definitely not centered. But I don’t want to look. I don’t want to go into the emotions. I don’t like feelings. Whenever I give into them. I end up feeling like a piece of cooked spagetti– for days.”

Emotions can take a lot out of us. Feeling them, whether it’s anger, fear, or sadness, can leave us exhausted and drained.

Not feeling our emotions, however, can keep us edgy, irritable, and off-balance. Not feeling our feelings for an extended time can drive us to acting out, whether that means overeating, obsessing, staying in bed and hiding from the world, or staring at the television every night until we pass out.

Be gentle with yourself. Don’t force it. But don’t run away from your feelings, either. You might feel like cooked spagetti for a while, but what’s really softening up is your heart.

God, help me face and feel any feelings.

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Offerings of the Day
Finding Gifts in All

by Madisyn Taylor

Before bed each night, take the time to review your day and review the gifts you received.


When we have good days, we often find ourselves going over the details later, enjoying them a second and third time as we feel the joy of our good fortune. When we have bad days, we may find ourselves poring over the details of our misfortunes. However, we can reframe those bad days by making it a daily practice to spend some time before going to bed each night to review the gifts we received that day. Regardless of our evaluation of the day—good, bad, mediocre—we can call forth the many blessings that were present. This practice transforms our consciousness as it reveals the fullness at the heart of our lives.

Some days it’s easy to recount the gifts we’ve received; on other days, we have to look harder for the offerings of the day, but once we do, we will find there are always quite a few. We can keep it simple and be grateful for the fact that we have a roof over our head, nature, food, and our health. Once we have fully experienced these gifts, we can move outward to the gifts that may require a little more thought such as the gifts of forgiveness, tolerance and acceptance that we may have learned that day. We can also always be grateful for the people in our lives who support us, no matter how bad our day may have been.

Just reviewing the many positive offerings in our lives provides a context for our difficulties that puts them in proper perspective, but we can also make an effort to see the gifts even in adverse circumstances. This can be challenging and may require some practice before it feels authentic, but we have all had the experience of a disappointment or loss leading to a surprising gain. Just remembering this and trusting the give and take of life can help us to remember that sometimes the best gifts of all are the ones we don’t recognize right away. In addition, the lessons we learn in the face of adversity are offerings in their own right, allowing us to count patience, wisdom, and fortitude alongside the other gifts of the day. Published with permission from Daily OM

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A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

During our days of active addiction, many of us displayed almost dazzlingly fertile powers of imagination. In no time at all, we could dream up more reasons — or, rather excuses — for pursuing our addictions than most people use for all other purposes in their entire lives. When we first come to The Program, our once-imaginative minds seem to become lethargic and even numb. “Now what do I do?” many of us wonder. Gradually, however, the lethargy disappears. We begin learning to live and become turned on to life in ways that we never dreamed possible. Am I finding that I can now enjoy activities that I wouldn’t even consider in the old days?

Today I Pray

May God give me a new surge of energy directed toward “turning on to life” rather than making excuses for not handling my responsibilities. May He allow my out-of-order imagination to be restored — not to the buzzing over activity of my compulsive days, but to a healthy openness to life’s boundless possibilities.

Today I Will Remember

Turn on to life.

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One More Day

If I’d known I was going to live so long, I’d have taken better care of myself.
– Leon Eldred

We had few concerns when we were young other than eating, sleeping, and playing with friends. As we grew into young adulthood, we worked hard and played hard, often ignoring any signals our bodies gave us. We expected to be stiff after exercise, for example, and accepted it as part of our lifestyle.

By the time our chronic medical conditions became evident, our health habits were fairly well-established. We certainly can’t undo the early care — or neglect — of our bodies. But we can learn new habits that will serve us well all the days of our lives.

Ultimately, my physical and emotional health depends upon my willingness to take care of myself.

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You are reading from the book Food for Thought.

Spiritual Strength

What we compulsive overeaters need in order to control our disease is spiritual strength. If we are strong spiritually, we will not turn to food to fill our inner emptiness. We overate because we were spiritually impoverished, and overeating further depleted our spirits.

Paradoxically, we are strongest spiritually when we are most aware of our weakness. In order for our Higher Power to take over, we must recognize and admit our powerlessness. Spiritual strength comes to those who have the necessary humility to receive it.

We do not acquire this strength overnight. The more time we spend each day in communion with God, the stronger we become. Cultivating the awareness of His presence as we go about our activities enables us to rely more and more on His strength and less and less on our own.

Strengthen us with spiritual food so that we do not need to overeat.

[bluidkiti]

July 3

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
You are here for a purpose. There is not a duplicate of you in the whole wide world; there never has been, there never will be. You were brought here now to fill a certain need. Take time to think that over. --Lou Austin
No other person is exactly like you or me. No one can do exactly what we can, or touch another person in exactly the way we can. Out of all the people who could have been created, we were chosen to be a part of this time and place.
We are needed to fulfill a plan, in our families as well as in our relationships. Knowing we have unique abilities, we will spend less time feeling jealous of what others can do.
Through our dreams and yearnings, God shows us who we can be. It is up to us to have the courage to follow that dream with action.
What unique gift can I offer the world today?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
Vitality shows not only in the ability to persist but also in the ability to start over. --F. Scott Fitzgerald
Sitting in a stalled car on the railroad tracks with a train approaching, one needs to let go and start over. A man who persists in that situation will die. Many situations require fierce persistence, but in others we need to start over. Early in recovery, most of us haven't had a good way of knowing the difference. Perhaps with every challenge we tried harder and held on tighter. Our codependent relationships and our addictions had been our escapes.
Often we long for some clear directions from God to tell us, "Now is the time to let go," or "Now is the time to persist." That is not how we hear from our Higher Power. We can practice being less automatic in rising to every challenge. We can learn to see the wisdom and vitality in starting over. Certainly our recovery is a good example. Gradually we develop our contact with our Higher Power to help discern the difference. As we do, we develop more options for leading healthier lives.
Today, I will not automatically persist with a challenge. I will notice when I have an opportunity to let go.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
No one can build (her) security upon the nobleness of another person. --Willa Cather
Where do we look for our security? Do we look to our husbands or our lovers? Do we look to a parent or our children? Perhaps we seek our security in our jobs. But none of these avenues brings lasting contentment, as we've each probably discovered, just as pills, alcohol, or maybe food failed to give us lasting security.
Security of the spirit is with us from our birth. It's just that we haven't tapped into the source. Perhaps we don't even know the source, but it's been with us always, awaiting our realization of it.
No step do we ever take alone. Each breath we take is in partnership with the eternal source of strength and security within us. We have the choice to accept this partnership any time. And this guarantee of security in all things at all times is the gift of freedom.
Our desire for security is God-given. The security we desire is also given by God to us. We are secure today and every day.
Each step I take is in concert with my higher power. I need experience nothing alone. I can breathe in and tap the plentiful source of strength awaiting me, now.


You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
Directness
So much of our communication can reflect our need to control. We say what we think others want to hear. We try to keep others from getting angry, feeling afraid, going away, or disliking us. But our need to control traps us into feeling like victims and martyrs.
Freedom is just a few words away. Those words are our truths. We can say what we need to say. We can gently, but assertively, speak our mind.
Let go of your need to control. We do not need to be judgmental, tactless, blaming, or cruel when we speak our truths. Neither do we need to hide our light. Let go, and freely be who you are.
Today, I will be honest with others, and myself knowing that if I don't, my truth will come out some other way.


It is exciting to know that the more I listen to the chattering that goes on in my mind, the quicker I can identify the blocks to my positive and creative energy. Today I release all negativity so that I can be fully alive in the moment. --Ruth Fishel

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Journey To The Heart

Cherish Your Heart

A woman I met in Washington gave me a gift. It was a beautiful heart, sculpted by her son, an artist. It was a mosaic of broken pieces, a heart covered with break lines that had healed over and mended together.

“My son made this,” she said. “I want you to have it.” I thanked her for the gift. Now I keep it close. It’s a reminder to keep my heart open.

Keep your heart open. Take care lest life’s problems shut you down. When you close down, your passion, enthusiasm, faith, and zest will disappear.

Open your heart to all you meet. If it’s not safe, you’ll know. But don’t close your heart. Just move in another direction. Don’t worry about getting your heart broken. Sometimes that happens. Sometimes it’s the price you pay for opening your heart, for taking the risk. But if it does happen, you can allow your heart to heal, then open it once again.

Remember the sculpture. Let it remind you that, once healed, a broken heart is a beautiful work of art.

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More Language Of Letting Go

Say what’s up today

What’s up?

I don’t mean the events. You most likely are extremely aware fo the events taking place– or not occurring– in your life. What’s up emotionally?

Do you feel anxious, scared, ambivalent, wishy-washy, or fiercely determined? Do you feel clever, powerful, blissful, curious, or relieved?

There are many shades and colors, nuances of emotions. Some emotions get our attention quickly. They clearly present themselves and we immediately name them and claim them as ours. Sometimes the feelings are not that easy to identify. Those are usually the ones we need to pay the most attention to; those are often the ones that can be controlling our lives.

An important idea to remember about feelings is that they are just emotional energy and we’re allowed to feel however we feel. There’s no right and wrong about emotions; the names are just words we use to identify that particular emotional energy burst.

There’s another way we can feel, another space we’re each entitled to. That space is called “centered,balanced, and clear.” When we identify, feel, and release whatever feeling is up each day, we’ll easily and naturally return to that quiet, peaceful, centered place.

Sometimes, if the emotional burst is big– of the volcanic size– it might take a few days or a week to return to that clear, centered place. Other times, just an acknowledging nod in the direction of the emotion that’s up is all we need to do.

Don’t resist. Give in. Give in all the way to what and how you feel. Then just let that feeling float away. The more you give in to whatever you’re feeling, the less it will hurt and the more quickly it’ll disappear. The more specific you can be about the event or person that’s triggering the emotion, the more you’ll help yourself slide gracefully through the emotional burst.

Mastering your emotions means taking responsibility for how you feel. Feelings are important, but remember, they’re just feelings,too. Don’t let them define reality, control your life, or color your world. Mastering your emotions means clearing out your emotions so you can live, move, love, work, and play from that peaceful, centered place.

Take a moment today and each day of your life.

As yourself, “What’s up?”

God, help me become fluent with my emotions. Help me learn to feel whatever I feel, then regularly restore myself to that centered, balanced, place.

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Food for Thought

Rest in God

Fatigue is one of our worst enemies. Sometimes it is our own unnecessary busyness and over-ambition which wears us out, and sometimes the cause of our fatigue seems unavoidable. Depression and weariness go hand in hand.

It was our habit to reach for something to eat when we were tired. We may still crave refined sugar and carbohydrates as a quick boost when our energy lags. Instead of these substances, which we know will let us down, we need to turn to our Higher Power for rest and refreshment.

Even better than waiting until we are fatigued to ask for help is the habit of resting continuously in God. We may then carry on our activities knowing that we are upheld by His power, and we will avoid the exhaustion of trying to accomplish everything by our own efforts.

May I remember to rest in You.

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The Greater Cause
Some Good Reasons for Doing Good

by Madisyn Taylor

Imagine what a different world we would live in if we all worked toward the greater good.


With all that takes place in our lives, it can sometimes be easy to overlook the fact that we’re part of something greater than ourselves—a collective consciousness, the Universe, a greater cause. Because of our tendency to forget this, we might make decisions in our lives that don’t reflect that responsibility that comes with this belonging. All too often, we focus just on the short-term, tangible gain to ourselves without worrying about its consequences. Other times, we may discard the greater cause because it seems like “hard work.” The challenge is to expand our minds so that we transcend the distinction between self and others, so we are aware of how our choices and actions can impact a greater cause.

Contributing to the greater cause doesn’t have to be all about self-sacrifice. For example, if you plant a tree in a community space, its shelter will cool and protect you as well as your neighbors. Or, your reward might be in the form of the beauty that you now see in that space or the sincere smiles of appreciation from neighbors. When you serve the greater cause you also serve your greater good. There is nothing that you cannot do for your highest good that will not benefit the good of all. For example, saying no to a relationship that isn’t right for you not only benefits you but serves the greater good of the other person that you are honoring with your honesty. Saying yes to your dream job not only fulfills you but also serves the people that will benefit from your enthusiasm and productivity.

When you know you are serving a greater cause, there is little room for fear and doubt. You know that what you do will benefit others, so there is no way the universe is not going to support your efforts - even if sometimes it may not look that way. Serving the greater cause allows you to live from the space of your greatness. When you know that what you do can serve a greater cause, you are aware of your power and ability to influence and create change in this world. Published with permission from Daily OM

**************************************************

A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

Chance is a part of the flow of life. Sometimes we’re frustrated because change seems slow in coming. Sometimes, too, we’re resistant to a change that seems to have been thrust upon us. We must remember that change, in and of itself, neither blinds us not frees us. Only our attitude toward change blinds or frees. As we learn to flow with the stream of life, praying for guidance as to any change that presents itself — praying, also, for guidance if we want to make a change and none seems in view — we become willing. Am I willing to let God take charge, directing me in changes I should make and the actions I should take?

Today I Pray

When change comes too fast — or not fast enough — for me, I pray I can adjust accordingly to make use of the freedom The Program offers to me. I pray for the guidance of my Higher Power when change presents itself — or when it doesn’t and I wish it would. May I listen for direction from that Power.

Today I Will Remember

God is in charge.

**************************************************

One More Day

A chronic illness is a constant and sometimes overwhelming companion … only the power of a warm heart can alleviate the deep chill.
– Robert K. Massie

When our lifestyles change and an illness pervades our lives, we often feel lonely. It’s not like a bad mood we can just shake off.

We need our friends and family around us, but it’s up to us to give them the cue. People may stay at arm’s length until we all — even encourage — them to come closer. We need the support they can give us, and they need the satisfaction of contributing to our lives no matter how we’ve changed in our illness. We comfort and encourage each other, and we all feel blessed.

My illness has not changed the basic person I am. I needed the love and support of others before. I still do.

[bluidkiti]

July 4

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
In Micronesian, there's a word, kukaro, which has no corresponding word in English. When people say they are going to kukaro, they mean they are going to relax, sit around, and hang out. They are being, not doing. --Eli and Beth Halpern
As children, our best times are often trips to an amusement park, fishing at the lake, camping, or just sitting idly under a tree. These make the best memories, and times sitting around a campfire roasting marshmallows or having a root beer after a family outing seem to bring out the love we share.
We don't seem to be accomplishing anything at these times. No chores are getting done around the house, no schoolwork, no repairs, no moneymaking.
But these times of peace, relaxation, and a sense of endless time of being, not doing, may be essential to our ability to get other things done later. Certainly we are most receptive to our feelings, new ideas, and unplanned adventures at these moments. Maybe we should add kukaro to our vocabulary.
What timeless thing can I do today?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
Freedom means the right to be different, the right to be oneself. --Ira Eisenstein
Each of us is a unique creature and has special gifts to contribute to the world. We were not free in the past because we were slaves to addictions and codependency. We know that freedom is precious. Compulsions and pressures for conformity stifle our creativity and erode our dignity. As we grow in our relationship to our Higher Power, we get stronger and more balanced in our unique qualities. Some of us have a talent for empathizing with others, some for writing and art, others for sports and physical activities.
There is no recipe that prescribes exactly what kind of men we should be. Because we're free, it is our creative task to discover what it means to be honest, masculine, contributing men within our particular circumstances. We don't get a list of directions for each day, only guidelines for progress. Through groups and friendships, we develop in our own ways and learn to respect each other's freedom.
I am grateful for the freedom to be uniquely and fully myself.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
One doesn't recognize in one's life the really important moments--not until it's too late. --Agatha Christie
Every moment is special and offers us an opportunity--to let an experience change us in an important way, to invite another person into our life, to nurture the growing, changing woman within. Life's events move so rapidly we seldom relish the moments individually, but each day teems with tiny gifts divinely designed for our well-being. The woman smiled at in the grocery store yesterday or the man acknowledged on the bus last week felt special. And we were softened, too, by our expression.
We change, and we change our world when we acknowledge one another's presence in it. The wonderful reality is that we are in another's world because of the special qualities we each have and are able to share with one another.
For many of us, in times past, no moment felt important. The days were simply long and painful. But now, we can relish even the past pain for what it taught us. We know now that we can look to this day before us with expectation. We can be conscious of every moment, thankful for every experience and every person we encounter.
In this inner game of life, I share the court, and I will have my turn to serve. To really live, I must participate fully.


You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
Celebrate
Take time to celebrate.
Celebrate your successes, your growth, and your accomplishments. Celebrate you and who you are.
For too long you have been too hard on yourself. Others have spilled their negative energy - their attitudes, beliefs, and pain - on you. It had nothing to do with you! All along, you have been a gift to yourself and to the Universe.
You are a child of God. Beautiful, a delight, a joy. You do not have to try harder, be better, be perfect, or be anything you are not. Your beauty is in you, just as you are each moment.
Celebrate that.
When you have a success, when you accomplish something, enjoy it. Pause, reflect, and rejoice. Too long you have listened to admonitions not to feel good about what you have done, lest you travel the downward road to arrogance.
Celebration is a high form of praise, of gratitude to the Creator for the beauty of God's creation. To enjoy and celebrate the good does not mean that it will be taken from you. To celebrate is to delight in the gift, to show gratitude.
Celebrate your relationships! Celebrate the lessons from the past and the love and warmth that are there today. Enjoy the beauty of others and their connection to you.
Celebrate all that is in your life. Celebrate all that is good. Celebrate you!
Today, I will indulge in the joy of celebrating.


Today I will find someone less fortunate than I and give them what I can. Today I will let go of my own troubles and self pity by finding someone I can help. --Ruth Fishel

**************************************************

Journey To The Heart

Learn to Relax

We need to learn how to relax, how to unwind.

Find something that’s relaxing, healing, soothing, and available to you. Sit in the sun. Take a trip to a nearby hot spring or mineral bath in your state. Perch atop a mountain or hill, taking in the view from above.

Let yourself sit and soak it in for a long as you can. Let yourself be still for as long as you can. Move around a bit if you need to. Then go back and try again.

Don’t just do it once. Try it often. Allow yourself to relax. Give yourself opportunities to unwind. Soon you’ll learn how.

Pay attention to what you think and feel when you try to relax. Watch, as a neutral observer, without judgement or reproach. What thoughts come to mind? How do you feel? What do you feel?

Go as deeply into your thoughts and feelings as you are able. Sit quietly for as long as you can. When your body is done, it will tell you.

**************************************************

More Language Of Letting Go

Celebrate your freedom

Today in the United States, we celebrate our nation’s independence. Why not take a moment to celebrate your independence as well? Whether you’ve found freedom from an addiction or from codependency, or you’ve discovered the freedom to live your life as fully as possible, take a moment to honor and acknowledge how much that freeom means to you.

It’s good to identify our problems. Through the awareness of what’s wrong and what’s broken, we learn what to repair and fix. It’s good to focus on the health and the goodness in our lives,too. Becoming aware of what’s right and what’s working is how we discover joy.

Look back along the winding road of the path of your life. See how far you’ve come? It looks good to me. How does it look to you?

Hurray! We’re finally free.

God, thank you for setting me free.

**************************************************

Food for Thought

Holidays

Holidays come and holidays go. Our choice remains the same: to abstain or to overeat.

Most holidays are associated with an overabundance of special food. Those who are not compulsive overeaters may be able to indulge for a day. We cannot. For us, one day’s indulgence is usually the start of a downward skid into loss of control and the despair, which follows. What kind of a celebration is it if we end up back in the trap of compulsive overeating?

Every day we may celebrate our freedom by abstaining. When holidays come, we enjoy them more by abstaining than we ever did by indulging. We are free from guilt and remorse and the terrible panic that seizes us when we lose control. We are free to think about the deeper significance of the holiday-whatever the celebration, it is more than a reason to eat and drink.

When abstinence remains the most important part of our life, no matter what day it is, then every day is a celebration and holidays are blessings instead of disasters.

Lord, may I celebrate this day and every day by abstaining.

**************************************************

A Concrete Dream
Goals

by Madisyn Taylor

It is vital to take action on your goals in life rather than just daydreaming about them.


Our desires act as fuel, propelling us toward new horizons. Without something to strive for, we stagnate and become stuck in ruts of our own making because we are unsure of what to do next. Goals are the dreams that we are willing to work for. When we set goals, we take responsibility for our lives and choose to wholeheartedly devote ourselves to our aspirations. Even if we only take the smallest steps toward achieving our ambitions, it is vital that we actively pursue our goals rather than just daydreaming about them. Having goals makes us feel good because it adds a sense of purpose and direction to our lives.

When you endeavor to achieve clear and quantifiable goals, your choices and actions take on new significance. Consciously creating your goals can help ensure that the success you seek is attainable and serves you. Your plan must be conceivable, tangible, and measurable. If you cannot visualize your goal in great detail or believe that you can realize them, you may find it difficult to commit to your goals and take the necessary steps to achieve them. Make sure that your goals have the potential to be emotionally satisfying. You may even want to write them down. Putting your goals into words can keep your intention fresh in your mind and remind you of your purpose. As you make progress toward realizing your goals, give yourself a reward each time you take a step forward so that you have the incentive to keep going. If you find yourself stuck in a rut, examine ways in which you can revise your strategy so that your plan can work.

In creating goals, you create your future by outlining your destiny. When you choose your goals using your head and heart, you take the first step in manifesting what you want. You grant your own wishes every time you achieve another goal. Published with permission from Daily OM

**************************************************

A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

It’s time for me to start being responsible for my own actions. It’s time for me to be willing to take some chances. If my new life in The Program is valid and right, as I truly believe, then surely it can stand the test of exposure to real-life situations and problems. So I won’t be afraid to be human and, if necessary, to sometimes fall on my face in the process of living. Living is what The Program is all about. And living entails sharing, accepting, giving — interacting with other people. Now is the time for me to put my faith into action. Have I begun to practice what I preach by putting my new thoughts and ideas into action?

Today I Pray

May The Program, with God’s help, give me a chance to live a steady, creative, outreaching life, so that I may share with others what has been given to me. May I realize on this Declaration of Independence Day that I, too, have a celebration of freedom — freedom from my addiction.

Today I Will Remember

To celebrate my personal freedom.

**************************************************

One More Day

Judge a tree from its fruit; not from the leaves.
– Duripides

Sometimes we have a tendency to judge too quickly. Unfortunately, this is particularly true when we see people who are obviously physically impaired. We may form opinions of them based only on the fact that they walk differently or perhaps because they use a wheelchair.

We can judge people as individuals — not because of a medical condition. We can understand that people make their own individual marks on the world, not so much because of their physical abilities, but because of their mental and spiritual presence.

I will look beyond the external features of people and find the unique qualities within.

[bluidkiti]

July 5

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
In uplifting, get underneath. --George Ade
A sandpile in the summer is deceiving. The topmost sand burns hot on our
feet. But as we push down toward the center, we come to a damp, cool
place that soothes and oozes between our toes.
The nature of most things is not revealed at the surface. Like the
sandpile, many people and situations we encounter are, on the surface,
downright uncomfortable. The reward is in digging deeper--to the
essential goodness, the core or meaning, the true friend. It takes time,
a little knowledge, and abundant trust that we will not be burned.
What have I discovered by digging a little lately?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
We shall describe conditions of the soul that words can only hint at. We shall have to use logic to try to corner perspectives that laugh at our attempt. --Huston Smith
As we live the spiritual life, we find words and logic are only capable of pointing in the direction of some truths. Words do not contain the entire truth our experience may be teaching us. This is like the difference between hearing about fishing versus actually being on the water, smelling the misty air, and feeling the fish tug on our line.
Spiritual development is a form of education. We are developing the part of us that learns by experience, that has a feeling without exactly knowing why, that understands stories better than statistics. Gradually, we accept more experiences in our lives as mysteries, as not fitting into any specific categories. Many experiences will have more meaning than cold facts could ever express. As this side of us develops, we don't discard reason and judgment; we become deeper human beings.
Today, I will give my intuition more freedom. That will help my spiritual self grow.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
There are really only two ways to approach life--as victim or as gallant fighter--and you must decide if you want to act or react, deal your own cards or play with a stacked deck. And if you don't decide which way to play with life, it always plays with you.
--Merle Shain
Being the victim is, or was, uncomfortably familiar to many of us. Perhaps some of us are only now realizing we have choices, that we need not let life happen to us. Becoming responsible to ourselves, choosing behavior, beliefs, friends, activities, that please us, though unfamiliar at first, soon exhilarates us. The more choices we make, the more alive we feel. The more alive we feel, the healthier our choices.
Our aim is recovery. Recovering means participating fully in our lives. It means self-assessment and self-direction. It means trusting to move forward, step-by-step, choice-by-choice, knowing all the while that no thoughtful action can trouble us.
Many opportunities to make choices will present themselves today. The choices I make will satisfy me; they will move me toward my goal of recovery.


You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
Survivor Guilt
We begin recovering. We begin taking care of ourselves. Our recovery program starts to work in our life, and we begin to feel good about ourselves.
Then it hits. Guilt.
Whenever we begin to experience the fullness and joy of life, we may feel guilty about those we've left behind - those not recovering, those still in pain. This survivor guilt is a symptom of codependency.
We may think about the husband we've divorced who is still drinking. We may dwell on a child, grown or adult, still in pain. We may get a phone call from a nonrecovering parent who relates his or her misery to us. And we feel pulled into their pain.
How can we feel so happy, so good, when those we love are still in misery? Can we really break away and lead satisfying lives, despite their circumstances? Yes, we can.
And yes, it hurts to leave behind those we love. But keep moving forward anyway. Be patient. Other people's recovery is not our job. We cannot make them recover. We cannot make them happy.
We may ask why we were chosen for a fuller life. We may never know the answer. Some may catch up in their own time, but their recovery is not our business. The only recovery we can truly claim is our own.
We can let go of others with love, and love ourselves without guilt.
Today, I am willing to work through my sadness and guilt. I will let myself be healthy and happy, even though someone I love has not chosen the same path.


I am very grateful to be exactly where I am today. I do not need to be a victim of my past or controlled by circumstances. I am in recovery today and it feels wonderful! --Ruth Fishel

**************************************************

Journey To The Heart

Become Excited About Life

I woke up one morning and found myself in a strange place. Instead of waking up to pain, I felt a new feeling coursing through my veins. I felt happy, at peace, and excited about being alive. This feeling had come around before, but never to stay or last. Now I knew that it was mine for good. It was where this journey had led.

Let excitement course through you. It is vitality; it is healing, life-giving energy. It is the life force. Feel it course through your veins. This excitement you are feeling is different from the pain of years past. It is a different feeling, but your birthright, my birthright, the birthright of us all. It is your reward for staying committed to your process of learning and growing.

Continue to clear out old, negative feelings and outdated beliefs. Stay committed to healing and discovering your soul, even when you wonder if it’s worth it. Even when you wonder where your path is going, or if it’s going anywhere. Love yourself. Love others. Then love yourself some more. Love yourself until you feel the life force, this exciting new energy, course through you.

Stay committed to your growth process until you wake up one morning and ask yourself, What is that strange thing I’m feeling? Then know what the answer is. The answer is joy.

**************************************************

More Language Of Letting Go

Balance

In Western medicine, the practice has long been the correction of problems. We have a pain; the doctor identifies its source and treats it. The Eastern approach is different. Many of the Eastern medicines operate from the idea that a healthy body is one that is in balance. When we are sick, it is due to an imbalance in our bodies. The practitioner then seeks to identify the imbalance and restore the body to balance.

Instead of just treating the symptoms of pathos, Eastern medicines seek to maintain balance as a way of life.

That’s a good way to approach taking care of our souls.

Perhaps your heart has been injured through the carelessness of another, or maybe your mind is troubled by distressing, uncomfortable, and sometimes wrong thoughts. When we seek to restore balance, our hearts and our souls will heal.

Be aware of the imbalance in the thoughts in your mind and the emotions disturbing your peace. Then listen to your spirit. Let it tell you in its still quiet way what it needs to regain balance. Maybe you need some time alone, time in meditation or prayer, a quiet walk, a day at the zoo, or some sleep.

Give your body and soul what you need to regain balance, and then healing can begin. Learn to lovingly listen to and take care of yourself.

Maintain balance as a way of life.

God, help me listen to my spirit so I can restore myself to balance each day.

**************************************************

Food for Thought

Ignore the Craving

Old habits die hard, and for a long time we may experience our old craving for that “small,” compulsive bite. The craving will not hurt us, and eventually it will pass if we ignore it. If we give in to the craving, it does not go away but becomes stronger. To feed the craving is to pour gasoline on a fire.

When we experience the craving for unnecessary food, we need to find something else to occupy our attention. If possible, we should physically remove ourselves from the tempting situation. If that is impossible, we need to ask our Higher Power for the strength to remain abstinent and to ignore the demands of our over blown appetite. God never allows us to be tempted beyond our ability to endure. He is always here to support us when we turn and ask for help.

May I listen to You and ignore harmful cravings.

**************************************************

Grumps
Shining through the Clouds

by Madisyn Taylor

We can shine like a beacon from a lighthouse when met with the force of a grumpy person.


When we’re in a good mood, we shine like the sun. But if we find ourselves in the presence of a person, or people, in a grumpy mood, it can feel like a dark cloud approaching to dim our radiance and block our positive way of seeing the world. We can remind ourselves that clouds pass, while the sun and stars continue to shine above. Then it’s easier to think of these “grumps” affectionately, knowing that they only have the power to affect our mood if we allow it. With the power of change firmly in our hands, we can choose how to respond to a grumpy person, or a grumbling group of people, with confidence and understanding.

Like a lighthouse, we can continue to shine through the darkness, offering our light to help others find their way back to their own. We can send them a silent prayer of peace or a sympathetic smile. We may sense that reaching out to offer a comforting touch or hug can ease their frustrations and cause the clouds to dissipate. If they need understanding, we can sympathize without reinforcing the negativity they may be experiencing by directing their attention someplace more positive. Helping them find the humor in their situation might be appropriate and is a great way to lift spirits, or a logical approach may help them see all the good in the situation, in their lives and in the world.

We might find that someone we encounter often seems to be in a perpetual state of gloom. Our tendency in such cases may be to try to avoid them, but instead we can make the choice to offer support that comes from the heart. We may be inspired to ask if they would like some help or to offer suggestions that have helped us in the past. We can include thoughts of their health and happiness in our times of prayer and meditation. When we lend our energy to uplift another in any way, we improve our own lives while making the world a better place for all of us. Published with permission from Daily OM

**************************************************

A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

I am free to be, to do, to accept, to reject. I am free to be the wise, loving, kind, and patient person I want to be. I’m free to do that which I consider wise — that which will in no way harm or hinder another person. I’m free to do that which will lead me into paths of peace and satisfaction. I’m free to decide for or against, to say no and to say yes. I’m free to live life in a productive way and to contribute what I have to give to life. Am I coming to believe that I’m free to be the best self I’m able to be?

Today I Pray

Let the freedom I am now experiencing continue to flow through my life into productiveness, into the conviction of life’s goodness I have always wanted to share. May I accept this freedom with God’s blessing — and use it wisely.

Today I Will Remember

Let freedom ring true.

**************************************************

One More Day

When we do the best that we can, we never know what miracle is wrought in our life, or in the life of another! – Helen Keller

When we toss a pebble into a pond, the widening concentric circles continue to spread — the ripple effect — long after the pebble is out of sight. Often the actions we take have similar results.

We don’t always know what effect our lives and choices will have on other people. The immediate effects of our daily lives are probably easier to gauge, but often we don’t see the long-term effect we have on others. And that really doesn’t matter because all we are urged to do is to let kindness and responsibility rule our decisions. The immediate effect we see is the sense of growth within ourselves; the long-term effect we can trust to be miracle that we may never see.

I’ll remember that my actions affect many people beyond me.

[bluidkiti]

July 6

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
In uplifting, get underneath. --George Ade
A sandpile in the summer is deceiving. The topmost sand burns hot on our
feet. But as we push down toward the center, we come to a damp, cool
place that soothes and oozes between our toes.
The nature of most things is not revealed at the surface. Like the
sandpile, many people and situations we encounter are, on the surface,
downright uncomfortable. The reward is in digging deeper--to the
essential goodness, the core or meaning, the true friend. It takes time,
a little knowledge, and abundant trust that we will not be burned.
What have I discovered by digging a little lately?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
We shall describe conditions of the soul that words can only hint at. We shall have to use logic to try to corner perspectives that laugh at our attempt. --Huston Smith
As we live the spiritual life, we find words and logic are only capable of pointing in the direction of some truths. Words do not contain the entire truth our experience may be teaching us. This is like the difference between hearing about fishing versus actually being on the water, smelling the misty air, and feeling the fish tug on our line.
Spiritual development is a form of education. We are developing the part of us that learns by experience, that has a feeling without exactly knowing why, that understands stories better than statistics. Gradually, we accept more experiences in our lives as mysteries, as not fitting into any specific categories. Many experiences will have more meaning than cold facts could ever express. As this side of us develops, we don't discard reason and judgment; we become deeper human beings.
Today, I will give my intuition more freedom. That will help my spiritual self grow.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
There are really only two ways to approach life--as victim or as gallant fighter--and you must decide if you want to act or react, deal your own cards or play with a stacked deck. And if you don't decide which way to play with life, it always plays with you.
--Merle Shain
Being the victim is, or was, uncomfortably familiar to many of us. Perhaps some of us are only now realizing we have choices, that we need not let life happen to us. Becoming responsible to ourselves, choosing behavior, beliefs, friends, activities, that please us, though unfamiliar at first, soon exhilarates us. The more choices we make, the more alive we feel. The more alive we feel, the healthier our choices.
Our aim is recovery. Recovering means participating fully in our lives. It means self-assessment and self-direction. It means trusting to move forward, step-by-step, choice-by-choice, knowing all the while that no thoughtful action can trouble us.
Many opportunities to make choices will present themselves today. The choices I make will satisfy me; they will move me toward my goal of recovery.


You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
Survivor Guilt
We begin recovering. We begin taking care of ourselves. Our recovery program starts to work in our life, and we begin to feel good about ourselves.
Then it hits. Guilt.
Whenever we begin to experience the fullness and joy of life, we may feel guilty about those we've left behind - those not recovering, those still in pain. This survivor guilt is a symptom of codependency.
We may think about the husband we've divorced who is still drinking. We may dwell on a child, grown or adult, still in pain. We may get a phone call from a nonrecovering parent who relates his or her misery to us. And we feel pulled into their pain.
How can we feel so happy, so good, when those we love are still in misery? Can we really break away and lead satisfying lives, despite their circumstances? Yes, we can.
And yes, it hurts to leave behind those we love. But keep moving forward anyway. Be patient. Other people's recovery is not our job. We cannot make them recover. We cannot make them happy.
We may ask why we were chosen for a fuller life. We may never know the answer. Some may catch up in their own time, but their recovery is not our business. The only recovery we can truly claim is our own.
We can let go of others with love, and love ourselves without guilt.
Today, I am willing to work through my sadness and guilt. I will let myself be healthy and happy, even though someone I love has not chosen the same path.


I am very grateful to be exactly where I am today. I do not need to be a victim of my past or controlled by circumstances. I am in recovery today and it feels wonderful! --Ruth Fishel

**************************************************

Journey To The Heart

See How Each Soul Has Touched You

Often in our lives, we don’t realize the significance of a relationship until later, when the experience has passed. Then we understand how the person helped us along the way, took us to the next part of our journey, opened us up to begin learning the next lesson. And we see how we, in turn, helped shape that person.

One evening, as I was readying for sleep, I had a vision. I saw clearly before me a scenario of the dance we do with each other. I saw in my heart, understood deeply, the tangible, shaping impact each soul had on my life. Each moment, each interaction with another person, had been important– the quiet interactions, the ones I barely noticed, and the more significant relationships. Each moment– the moments that hurt, the moments that brought joy– had helped. We had touched each other. We were joined in an intricate dance, a dance in which our souls learned and grew.

And we had taken our places with each other on time, for the dance was perfectly choreographed.

I could almost see us waving gleefully to each other, happy for how we had connected, joyful that we had helped each other learn the lessons of the soul: courage, love, forgiveness, gentleness, self-love.

See how each soul touches you? See how you touch them? Ask your heart to guide you with honesty, love, and responsibility in all your encounters. Honor the sacredness of love. Honor the lessons of planet earth and the people who help you learn them.

**************************************************

More Language Of Letting Go

Let the feelings go

Sometimes we get stuck on a feeling. We don’t want to acknowledge it and give it its due. So we tell ourselves we’re too intelligent or busy to feel that way. Maybe we’re scared of that feeling, afraid of what it might mean. We think if we feel that way, we’ll have to do something we don’t want to do. We’re afraid that feeling might mean we have to change. Or we think the feeling will mean we have to face a loss of something we value in our lives and don’t want to lose.

Sometimes we feel guilty about our emotions. We think it’s wrong to have that feeling; it makes us a bad person. So we tell ourselves we shouldn’t feel the way that we do.

We can become so used to a particular kind of feeling– such as anger, resentment, or fear– that it becomes a comfortable and familiar way to view our world.

We can use our feelings to control people: I feel this way when you do that, so don’t do that anymore. Some people call this using emotions to manipulate other people. It’s not a good thing to do. But some of us convince ourselves it’s the only way to get what we want.

Learn to say how it feels. Then learn to let that feeling go.

God, help me flow in the stream of my feelings.

**************************************************

Food for Thought

Dual Personalities

It is as if we are each two people. When we are abstaining, we are calm, confident, and capable of handling the demands of every day. When we are in contact with our Higher Power, we have the right mental perspective and God’s peace and love in our hearts.

Slipping back into the old attitudes and habits of our compulsive overeating days brings back our frightened, confused, and despairing selves. We lose our ability to function efficiently. We are antagonistic to those around us. Worst of all, we are cut off from the source of strength and light.

Remembering that the negative personality will destroy us makes us more determined not to give in to it. Abstinence, day by day, is our safety. Reliance on the OA group, our Twelve Step program, and our Higher Power keeps us living the good, new life of freedom.

Deliver me from my negative personality.

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Interesting People Everywhere
Everyone Has a Story

by Madisyn Taylor

Every person on this planet has a story to tell, something that makes them unique adding to the whole.


It’s easy to forget sometimes that everyone has a story to tell if we take the time to listen. We are so accustomed to hearing the stories of people in the news that we sometimes lose track of the fact that the random stranger on the bus also has a fascinating story about where they came from and how they got to be where they are. The sheer variety of paths taken in this world, from farmers to CEOs to homeless people to world travelers, is indicative of how much we can learn from each individual. Sometimes the shy, quiet person at work has the most amazing life story and the biggest dreams, it is up to us to take the time to find out.

Some people travel a path of wealth and privilege, while others struggle with only themselves to rely on, and both have great stories to tell. Each person learns lessons, makes choices, and develops a unique perspective, which only they can claim and share. Even two people who have had very similar lives will have slightly different experiences, leading them to a different point of view, so each person remains a treasure trove waiting to be explored. When we take the time to ask questions and listen, we find that every person has a fascinating story to tell and an utterly unique perspective from which to tell it.

Bearing this in mind, we have the opportunity to approach the world around us in a new way. There is never any reason to be bored at a party, or on the bus, or in a conversation with a stranger. When we retain the spark of curiosity and the warmth required to open someone up, we always have in front of us the makings of a great story. All we have to do is ask. Published with permission from Daily OM

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A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

Some people in The Program don’t feel that they can do the things they want to do. They doubt their own ability. But actually, every person has untapped ability. We’re children of God, which should give us a strong clue as to the infinite nature of our ability. As spiritual beings, we’re unlimited. True, we may find it easier to accept this as true of some person who shines in a particular field. We may compare our own accomplishments with another’s and feel discouraged. But the only comparison we need make or should make is with ourselves. Am I a better, more productive person today?

Today I Pray

May I realize that I am a child of God. And His loving-parent promise to give me what I need, not what I might want, is His way of teaching me to be what I am, not what I dreamed I should be. As a spiritual being, I can truly become a productive person – perhaps even do some of the things I once felt unable to do without the aid of props — drinks, pills, excesses of food which hulled me into false confidence.

Today I Will Remember

To compare me with the old me.

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One More Day

Yesterday is a canceled check; tomorrow is a promissory note; today is the only cash you have — so spend it wisely.
– Kay Lyons

Each day is a small fragment of a lifetime. This fact frees us to focus on the things we truly can influence. We can never return to the past, except within our memories. And we don’t know what the future holds in store. The only time we can “spend” is today; the only time we touch is right now.

The simplicity of the present allows us to let go of the past and to ignore the unknowns of the future. Thus freed, we can set about the business of enriching our lives physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Unpleasant debts to the past are paid, and we’ve mortgaged nothing to the future. We are free to invest in growth by using the “cash” we have on hand.

This day is a valuable piece of my life. I will spend it well.

[bluidkiti]

July 7

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
I found words to every thought I ever had, but one. . . . --Emily Dickinson
What kinds of thoughts can't be put into words? We feel lost in space, mind-boggled by how small and big the stars are. We are sure and unsure about death, its blank and steady stare. Or we have done something that makes us feel both good and bad. Sometimes we hate someone we love, but we aren't sure what hate is, or love. We are scared of crowds and afraid of being abandoned, always alone. Sometimes we just want to laugh and cry, and when words fail we expect someone to know what our silences mean.
What are some ways I try to express my feelings without using words?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
Those who are mentally and emotionally healthy are those who have learned when to say yes, when to say no, and when to say whoopee! --Willard S. Krabill
We men have fallen into many difficulties because of poorly defined personal boundaries. Some of us never learned to say no to our mothers and felt invaded or ruled by them. Or we never truly said no to our fathers - never went through a teenage rebellion to establish ourselves as adults. Others have gotten stuck saying no and have never learned to yield and say yes.
Boundary problems have been part of the difficulty in many areas of our lives. We've told ourselves we have no right to our yes or no, or we've said we're strong enough to sacrifice for someone else, or we've welcomed the escape from ourselves in discarding our choice. Not saying no when we needed to or not saying yes when we wanted to has led many of us into doctors' offices, courts, jails, lost jobs, divorces, and bad marriages. Now the inner voice of our Higher Power is showing us our limits and encouraging us to stand up for them.
I am learning to know myself by defining my boundaries and choosing when and when not to cross them.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
. . . that is what learning is. You suddenly understand something you've understood all your life, but in a new way. --Doris Lessing
As we are changed by our experiences, that which we know also changes. Our experiences foster growth and enlightenment, and all awarenesses give way to new understandings. We are forever students of life blessed with particular lessons designed only for us. There is joy in knowing that learning has no end and that each day offers us a chance to move closer to becoming the persons we are meant to be.
To understand something more deeply requires that we be open to the ideas of others, willing to part with our present opinions. The program offers us many opportunities to trade in the understandings we've outgrown. Throughout our recovery we have discovered new interpretations of old ideas. And we will continue to expand our understanding.
Every situation, every person, every feeling, every idea has a slightly different hue each time we encounter it. The wonder of this is that life is forever enriched, forever fresh.
Each moment offers me a chance to know better who I am and to understand more fully the real contribution that is mine to make in this life. I will let the anticipation of my changing ideas excite me.


You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
Getting It All Out
Let yourself have a good gripe session. From: " Woman, Sex, and Addiction" -- Charlotte Davis Kasl, Ph.D.
Get it out. Go ahead. Get it all out. Once we begin recovery, we may feel like it's not okay to gripe and complain. We may tell ourselves that if we were really working a good program, we wouldn't need to complain.
What does that mean? We won't have feelings? We won't feel overwhelmed? We won't need to blow off steam or work through some not so pleasant, not so perfect, and not so pretty parts of life?
We can let ourselves get our feelings out, take risks, and be vulnerable with others. We don't have to be all put together, all the time. That sounds more like codependency than recovery.
Getting it all out doesn't mean we need to be victims. It doesn't mean we need to revel in our misery, finding status in our martyrdom. It doesn't mean we won't go on to set boundaries. It doesn't mean we won't take care of ourselves.
Sometimes, getting it all out is an essential part of taking care of ourselves. We reach a point of surrender so we can move forward.
Self-disclosure does not mean only quietly reporting our feelings. It means we occasionally take the risk to share our human side-the side with fears, sadness, hurt, rage, unreasonable anger, weariness, or lack of faith.
We can let our humanity show. In the process, we give others permission to be human too. "Together" people have their not so together moments. Sometimes, falling apart - getting it all out - is how we get put back together.
Today, I will let it all out if I need a release.


Today I let go totally and give God the space to do His work. --Ruth Fishel

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Journey To The Heart

Recognize the Signs

Sometimes, the universe gives us warnings.

I was driving down a local highway in New Mexico, a safe distance behind the car in front of me. Suddenly, the driver slammed on his brakes to avoid a huge puddle, a flood of water in front of him. I stopped short, but the car behind me was following too closely and rammed into the rear of my Jeep.

I got out and inspected the damage. My car was fine. The woman who rammed me had dented her bumper. No one was harmed. I got back in my Jeep, thinking it was over. But as I drove off, I began to wonder. Something about the incident still nagged at me.

Several weeks later, I was driving down a fast-moving two-lane highway. Behind me was a large truck loaded with cars. In front of me were several cars. In front of the cars was a school bus. The traffic was moving at at least fifty-five miles an hour.

Suddenly, I saw the brake lights from the cars ahead. The school bus had stopped to let a child disembark. I pulled to a stop behind the car in front of me. Then I remembered the lesson from the accident a couple of weeks ago: sometimes I can stop safely, but the driver behind me can’t.

I looked out my rearview mirror. The truck loaded with cars was frantically trying to stop. I pulled my car off the road onto the shoulder, giving him an extra car length. He screeched to a stop, right behind the car ahead of me. Had I not noticed, not pulled out, we’d all have been piled up. And the children in the bus…

Sometimes accidents happen without warning, but sometimes the universe gives us a nudge, a little sign. We don’t have to become paranoid, we don’t have to think every event means something, but we can trust ourselves to recognize a sign when we see one.

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More Language Of Letting Go

It will get better

Sometimes things need to feel worse before they get better. Feelings are one of those things.

When a feeling comes to the surface, it presents itself boldly. Usually the feelings being stirred up are ones we label unpleasant– fear, hurt, rage, guilt, shame or deep sorrow and grief. They will feel intense, for a while. Some feelings take a moment to come to the surface and clear. Other feelings take more time.

Feeling the emotion that intensely means it’s finally clearing out of your system. Even though it may feel like it, it’s not really getting worse. It’s healing, it’s getting better. You’re cleaning out that old wound. To do that, you have to reopen it, but just for a little while. But finally, after you do that, it will truly heal.

What do you need to do with feelings? Acknowledge them. Feel them. Give each one its due. They like to be honored that way. Once you identify and feel them, then they’ll go away. And each time you do this, the pond becomes clearer and cleaner, until finally the water is pure.

Notice how you react to yourself when a feeling comes up that needs attention and care. Do you spend as much time resisting the feeling as you actually do feeling the emotion? Do you expend more energy than necessary worrying that the feeling won’t leave, that you won’t be able to handle it, or that the feeling will take over your life? Consciously and deliberately relinquish your resistance to your emotional world. In March we learned to say whatever as part of speaking the language of letting go. Now practice saying whatever in love to your feelings.

God, give me the courage to face what I feel now, and what I felt before and didn’t have the resources to feel. Help me trust that this process will help me feel better than I did before.

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Food for Thought

Life Is Opportunity

Each morning when we wake up, we thank our Higher Power for another day of abstaining. Each hour that is given to us is a chance to grow and learn and serve. We can believe that God has a plan for every day that he gives us and that He will reveal the plan step by step as we listen for His guidance.

If we are too intent on carrying out our personal ideas and projects, we may miss the directions that come from God. We need to remain open and flexible so that He may use us as He chooses.

Considering the time and tasks that we have as opportunities to serve saves us from self-centered worry and anxiety. We do not have to be compulsive about our work and activities. God knows our capabilities and will not give us more than we can handle. He is always ready to direct our efforts when we turn to Him.

Thank You for the opportunity to live and serve today.

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A Self-Created State
Worry

Worry is an extension of fear and can also set you up for attracting that which you don’t want in your life.


We have all had the experience of worrying about something at some point in our lives. Some of us have a habitual tendency to worry, and all of us have known someone who is a chronic worrier. Worry is an extension of fear and can be a very draining experience. In order for worry to exist, we have to imagine that something bad might happen. What we are worrying about has not happened yet, however, so this bad thing is by definition a fantasy. Understood this way, worry is a self-created state of needless fear. Still, most of us worry.

One reason we worry is because we feel like we’re not in control. For example, you might worry about your loved ones driving home in bad weather. There is nothing you can do to guarantee their safe passage, but you worry until you find out they have reached their destination unharmed. In this instance, worry is an attempt to feel useful and in control. However, worrying does nothing to ensure a positive outcome and it has an unpleasant effect on your body, mind, and spirit. The good news is that there are ways to transform this kind of worry so that it has a healing effect. Just as worry uses the imagination, so does the antidote to worry. Next time you find that you are worrying, imagine the best result instead of anticipating the worst outcome. Visualize your loved ones’ path bathed in white light and clearly see in your mind’s eye their safe arrival. Imagine angels or guides watching over them as they make their way home. Generate peace and well-being instead of nervousness and unease within yourself.

Another reason we worry is that something that we know is pending but are avoiding is nagging us—an unpaid parking ticket, an upcoming test, an issue with a friend. In these cases, acknowledging that we are worried and taking action is the best solution. If you can confront the situation and own your power to change it, you’ll have no reason to worry. Published with permission from Daily OM

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A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

What wonderful things could happen in my life if I could get rid of my natural impulse to justify my actions. Is honesty so deeply repr4essed under layers of guilt that I can’t release it to understand my motives? Being honest with ourselves isn’t easy. It’s difficult to search out why I had this or that impulse and, more importantly, why I acted upon it. Nothing makes us feel so vulnerable as to give up the crutch of The Alibi, yet my willingness to be vulnerable will go a long way toward helping me grow in The Program. Am I becoming more aware that self-deception multiplies my problems?

Today I Pray

May God remove my urge to make excuses. Help me to face up to the realities that surface when I am honest with myself. Help me to know, as certainly as day follows sunrise, that my difficulties will be lessened if I can only trust His Will.

Today I Will Remember

I will be willing to do His Will.

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One More Day

Smiles form the channels of a future tear.
– Lord Byron

We have often watched smiles turn to laughter and laughter back to tears. At a family reunion, we hear the joyous sounds of people chattering away, trying to catch up in five minutes for twenty lost years.

People who have Parkinson’s disease sometimes complain that their faces don’t match the emotions they want to express. The mask of the illness slows down normal movement of facial muscles. Even more tragic is the person who doesn’t feel emotion. No laughter and no tears.

We are fortunate to be able to express our emotions, to show contentment and unhappiness. So what if today’s laughter becomes tomorrow’s tears? We know we’ll laugh again — and cry again. Our past experiences give meaning to the present.

I will accept all my emotions as an affirmation of my life. Changing emotions are a part of normal living.

[bluidkiti]

July 8

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
I found words to every thought I ever had, but one. . . . --Emily Dickinson
What kinds of thoughts can't be put into words? We feel lost in space, mind-boggled by how small and big the stars are. We are sure and unsure about death, its blank and steady stare. Or we have done something that makes us feel both good and bad. Sometimes we hate someone we love, but we aren't sure what hate is, or love. We are scared of crowds and afraid of being abandoned, always alone. Sometimes we just want to laugh and cry, and when words fail we expect someone to know what our silences mean.
What are some ways I try to express my feelings without using words?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
Those who are mentally and emotionally healthy are those who have learned when to say yes, when to say no, and when to say whoopee! --Willard S. Krabill
We men have fallen into many difficulties because of poorly defined personal boundaries. Some of us never learned to say no to our mothers and felt invaded or ruled by them. Or we never truly said no to our fathers - never went through a teenage rebellion to establish ourselves as adults. Others have gotten stuck saying no and have never learned to yield and say yes.
Boundary problems have been part of the difficulty in many areas of our lives. We've told ourselves we have no right to our yes or no, or we've said we're strong enough to sacrifice for someone else, or we've welcomed the escape from ourselves in discarding our choice. Not saying no when we needed to or not saying yes when we wanted to has led many of us into doctors' offices, courts, jails, lost jobs, divorces, and bad marriages. Now the inner voice of our Higher Power is showing us our limits and encouraging us to stand up for them.
I am learning to know myself by defining my boundaries and choosing when and when not to cross them.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
. . . that is what learning is. You suddenly understand something you've understood all your life, but in a new way. --Doris Lessing
As we are changed by our experiences, that which we know also changes. Our experiences foster growth and enlightenment, and all awarenesses give way to new understandings. We are forever students of life blessed with particular lessons designed only for us. There is joy in knowing that learning has no end and that each day offers us a chance to move closer to becoming the persons we are meant to be.
To understand something more deeply requires that we be open to the ideas of others, willing to part with our present opinions. The program offers us many opportunities to trade in the understandings we've outgrown. Throughout our recovery we have discovered new interpretations of old ideas. And we will continue to expand our understanding.
Every situation, every person, every feeling, every idea has a slightly different hue each time we encounter it. The wonder of this is that life is forever enriched, forever fresh.
Each moment offers me a chance to know better who I am and to understand more fully the real contribution that is mine to make in this life. I will let the anticipation of my changing ideas excite me.


You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
Getting It All Out
Let yourself have a good gripe session. From: " Woman, Sex, and Addiction" -- Charlotte Davis Kasl, Ph.D.
Get it out. Go ahead. Get it all out. Once we begin recovery, we may feel like it's not okay to gripe and complain. We may tell ourselves that if we were really working a good program, we wouldn't need to complain.
What does that mean? We won't have feelings? We won't feel overwhelmed? We won't need to blow off steam or work through some not so pleasant, not so perfect, and not so pretty parts of life?
We can let ourselves get our feelings out, take risks, and be vulnerable with others. We don't have to be all put together, all the time. That sounds more like codependency than recovery.
Getting it all out doesn't mean we need to be victims. It doesn't mean we need to revel in our misery, finding status in our martyrdom. It doesn't mean we won't go on to set boundaries. It doesn't mean we won't take care of ourselves.
Sometimes, getting it all out is an essential part of taking care of ourselves. We reach a point of surrender so we can move forward.
Self-disclosure does not mean only quietly reporting our feelings. It means we occasionally take the risk to share our human side-the side with fears, sadness, hurt, rage, unreasonable anger, weariness, or lack of faith.
We can let our humanity show. In the process, we give others permission to be human too. "Together" people have their not so together moments. Sometimes, falling apart - getting it all out - is how we get put back together.
Today, I will let it all out if I need a release.


Today I let go totally and give God the space to do His work. --Ruth Fishel

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Journey To The Heart

Sometimes the Road Gets Rough

Don’t be dismayed when you come to a pothole, a detour, a stretch of rough and rocky road. Don’t be surprised. Slow down a little. Be patient. It’s not the whole journey. It’s not the way it’ll always be. But it is part of your journey,too, part of your journey to your heart and soul. Even when we’re living with joy and freedom, we continue to learn, grow, feel, experience. And the road can still get rough.

Happiness doesn’t mean feeling gleeful all the time. Happiness doesn’t mean the road we’re traveling is always smooth. Happiness means feeling all we need to feel. And accepting each part of the journey, even the changes of course and direction.

Feel all your feelings. Feel your fear and frustration about slowing down, then settle in for the ride. You may not be going as fast as you’d like, but the journey hasn’t stopped. You’re not doing anything wrong. You are going slower, but you’re still moving forward.

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More Language Of Letting Go

Dump it

Sometimes, we don’t have one clear feeling to express. We have a bunch of garbage we’ve collected, and we just need to dump.

We may be frustrated, angry, afraid, and sick to death of something– all in one ugly bunch. We could be enraged, hurt, overwhelmed, and feeling somewhat controlling and vengeful,too. Our emotional stuff has piled up to an unmanageable degree.

We can go to our journal and write this whole mess of feelings out, as ugly as it looks and as awkward and ungrateful as it feels to put it into words. We can call up a friend, someone we trust, and just spill all this out over the phone. Or we can stomp around our living room in the privacy of our own home and just dump all this stuff out into the air. We can go for a drive in our car, roll the window down, and dump everything out as we drive through the wilderness.

The important idea here is to dump our stuff when it piles up.

You don’t always have to be that healthy and in control of what you feel. Sometimes, dumping all your stuff is the way to clean things out.

God, help me understand that sometimes the only thing preventing me from moving forward in my life is hanging on to all the stuff that I really need to dump.

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Food for Thought

Stronger or Weaker?

Every time I say no to the craving for just one small, extra bite, I become stronger. Every time I give in, I weaken myself and make it harder to say no the next time.

Abstinence from compulsive overeating is made up of many small decisions. We gradually acquire the knowledge of what we can handle and what we should avoid. This knowledge applies to situations and attitudes as well as food. As we work our program and make the right decisions, we gain strength.

Since none of us is perfect, we do not need to become discouraged when we make mistakes. We are learning how to live, and our failures teach us more than our successes. Growth is slow, but if we keep coming back to OA and the program, we will see results beyond our wildest expectations. OA gives us the strength to become new people.

For growing stronger, we thank You.

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Do unto Others
The Golden Rule

by Madisyn Taylor

When we honor others by following the golden rule, we honor ourselves too.


All over the world, there exists a simple precept that, when followed, has the power to end conflict and banish strife. It is the Golden Rule, a key concept in many philosophies and spiritualities that admonishes us to “do unto others as we would have them do unto us.” Its meaning is clear: treat others only in ways that you would want to be treated. However, the golden rule is not always easy to follow. It can be a challenge to honor others as we wish to be honored. Yet, when we do so, we bestow a gift of loving kindness on our fellow human beings. And, in honoring others, we honor ourselves.

It is as uncomplicated a tenet as one could wish for. When we live by it, harming another person becomes nearly impossible. The Golden Rule is rooted in pure empathy and does not compel us to perform any specific act. Rather, it gently guides us to never let our actions toward others be out of harmony with our own desires. The Golden Rule asks us to be aware of the effect our words and actions may have on another person and to imagine ourselves in their place. It calls on us to ask ourselves how we would feel if what we were about to do were directed toward us. And yet this rule invites us to do more than not harm others. It suggests that we look for opportunities to behave toward others in the same ways that we would want others to act toward us. Showing compassion, being considerate of others, caring for the less fortunate, and giving generously are what can result when you follow the Golden Rule.

Adhering to the Golden Rule whenever possible can have a positive effect on the world around you because kindness begets kindness. In doing so, you generate a flow of positive energy that enfolds everyone you encounter in peace, goodwill, and harmony. Published with permission from Daily OM

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A Day At A Time

When we speak with a friend in The Program, we shouldn’t hesitate to remind him or her of our need for privacy. Intimate communication is normally so free and easy among us that even a friend or sponsor may sometimes forget when we expect him to remain silent. Such “privileged communications” have important advantages. For one thing, we find in them the perfect opportunity to be as honest as we know how to be. For another, we don’t have to worry about the possibility of injury to other people, nor the fear of ridicule or condemnation. At the same time, we have the best possible chance to spot self-deception. Am I trustworthy to those who trust me.

Today I Pray

I pray for God’s assistance in making me a trusted confidant. I need to be a person others will be willing to share with. I need to be an open receiver, not just a transmitter. Today I pray for a large portion of tried-and-sureness, so that I may be a better and more receptive friend to those who choose to confide in me.

Today I Will Remember

Be a receiver.

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One More Day

They do me wrong who say I come no more, / Fear every day I stand outside your door.
– Walter Malone

Opportunity doesn’t just knock once, it’s there all the time. Perhaps we just don’t see it because we’re frightened to try new things. Or we may be complacent. One of the ways we know we are really making capable, mature decisions is when we become willing to open the door to opportunity again.

Occasionally, when a person retires, he or she may expect life to become automatically wonderful — all the time in the world and nothing in particular to do. It may take a little time for us to adjust. Opportunity is always there, waiting. We can learn to open our own doors.

I can renew my energies by becoming eager to burst forward, to pursue leisure-time efforts, to work with others.

[bluidkiti]

July 9

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
A mother is not a person to lean on, but a person to make leaning unnecessary. --Dorothy Canfield Fisher
A strong, healthy tree is one which is free to grow straight and tall. A weak tree often must lean against another for support. It is not that different with people. We are not healthy and strong when we must always lean on another to support us.
This doesn't mean it isn't healthy to accept help. But the best help we can get or give is that which enables us to do things without it. Sometimes we think we lose a relationship when others don't need our help, or when we don't need theirs all the time. The reverse is true. Only when we are each strong enough to stand on our own can we really share the kind of help, which allows both, helped and helper to be independent.
Have I been giving the right kind of help?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
The ultimate result of shielding men from the effects of folly is to fill the world with fools. --Herbert Spencer
We sometimes wish we could protect friends or loved ones from the consequences of their actions. We'd like to pick up the pieces after they've made a mess of their lives. Or we fail to look at the dark side of someone's motives because we want only the best. Perhaps it is our controlling willfulness that tries to make things into what we want, rather than accepts things as they really are.
In our masculine recovery, a deeper love allows us to have a respectful distance from others. When we truly care about someone, we don't snatch him or her out of his or her learning experience. When we allow our loved ones and friends to confront the natural consequences of their own actions, they learn and grow just as we do. We can be with a friend, but we are no one's Higher Power.
Today, I will be respectful of others by letting them walk their path while I walk mine.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
Of course, fortune has its part in human affairs, but conduct is really much more important. --Jeanne Detourbey
It's not infrequent that we are faced with a dilemma; what is the best action to take in a certain situation? We can be guided, rightly, in every situation if we but turn inward and let our conscience direct our behavior. We have often heard it said at meetings that when we long for a message from God we will hear it, either through our conscience or in the words of our friends. Thus we can never really be in doubt; our conduct can always be above reproach if we but listen.
Right behavior leads to fortunate opportunities for those who look for them. Behavior that we're proud of seems to attract blessings in our lives. One's good fortune is really God-given and in proportion to one's willingness to act well toward others in all situations.
Simply, what goes around comes around. Our behavior comes back to us, manyfold. In our encounters with others today, we'll have numerous occasions to decide about the best behavior for the particular circumstance. We must not forget that our behavior elicits the responses we receive.
I will invite blessings today. I will also shower blessings on my friends.


You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
Overspending and Underspending
I used to beat my husband to death with my credit card. It makes me feel like I had some control, some way to get even with him. --Anonymous
I spent ten years buying everything for myself at garage sales. I didn't even buy myself a new pair of shoes. The entire time I was depriving myself, my husband was gambling, speculating on risky business deals, and doing whatever he wanted with money. I learned that when I made a decision that I deserved to have the things I wanted, and made a decision to buy something I wanted, there was enough money to do it. It wasn't about being frugal; it was about depriving myself, and being a martyr. --Anonymous
Compulsive buying or overspending may give us a temporary feeling of power or satisfaction, but like other out of control behaviors, it has predictable negative consequences.
Under spending can leave us feeling victimized too.
There is a difference between responsible spending and martyred deprivation. There is a difference between treating ourselves well financially and overspending. We can learn to discern that difference. We can develop responsible spending habits that reflect high self esteem and love for ourselves.
Today, I will strive for balance in my spending habits. If I am overspending, I will stop and deal with what's going on inside me. If I am under spending or depriving myself, I will ask myself if that's necessary and what I want.


Today I am learning to stop judging and comparing so that I can be with what is. I am learning to accept what is without the struggle of trying to decide whether it is right or wrong. --Ruth Fishel

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Journey To The Heart

Learn to Focus Your Energy

“I’ve come to this lodge for one reason,” the woman at Breitenbush Retreat in Willamette Forest said. “I brought my fiddle, and I’m not leaving until I can play a bluegrass tune. If I want to get out of here, I’d better learn to play.

There is a time to be open, almost unfocused, as we take in what the world, the universe, is showing us. There is a time to get out of our heads and quietly take the journey our hearts lead us into– following with the openness and wonder of a child.

But there also comes a time to aim our attention and focus our energy on what we want to accomplish. Instead of floundering with scattered thoughts and possibilities, we choose one, then act on it. We stay in step with the natural rhythm, but we’re pulling our scattered attention together and focusing it as part of that rhythm.

To do that, we may have to work through or push away inner distractions. Moving through our inner obstacles enables us to accomplish our goal– whether that’s a task, a particular piece of work, or learning to play the fiddle.

Is there something you want to do? Is your heart urging you to learn something, accomplish something, go somewhere, do something? Make it a goal. Focus your energy. Learn to stay focused until you reach that goal.

Put yourself in the cabin and don’t let yourself out until it’s done.

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More Language Of Letting Go

Stop being a sponge

You don’t have to be an emotional sponge, picking up every feeling around you. Learn to distinguish whether what you’re feeling belongs to you or to somebody else.

Linda has a grown son. Whenever her son is going through a difficult time, Linda takes her son’s emotions on, as if those feelings belonged to her. She’ll talk to her son on the phone for a while. He’ll express himself intensely and powerfully about how he really feels about everything in his life. After all, Linda’s his mom. It’s safe to tell her how he really feels, even if he can’t tell anyone else. Linda may feel fine when she begins talking to her son. But by the end of the conversation, Linda doesn’t feel that good anymore. She may feel angry, upset, or worried– or whatever her son was feeling before he talked to her.

Sometimes we soak up other people’s feelings because we forget to protect ourselves. Often, we do this because of the depth of feeling we have for this person. The remedy for this is the same as it is when we’re dealing with our own emotional stuff. We recognize what we’re feeling. We give that feeling its due. Then we let it go. We squeeze out the sponge.

Sometimes, it just takes the act of recognizing that we’ve taken on another person’s emotions to clear those emotions out. If we strive for awareness, we’ll begin to recognize when the feelings we’re feeling aren’t our own.

Children are often open and unprotected. If we’re going through a lot of feelings around them, they may absorb our emotions,too. It’s important to share our feelings with others and let people talk about their feelings to us. But we need to pay attention. If we’ve picked up someone else’s emotions, we need to let those feelings go.

God, help me know that part of being close to people and loving them means I sometimes take on their feelings. Show me how to protect myself so I can keep my heart open to the people I love without taking on their feelings.

Activity: As children, we may have absorbed emotions from our parents. These emotions can linger with us long into adulthood, shaping our beliefs and our general attitude toward life. These emotions can be tricky. We think they’re our own, but they’re not. They belong to someone else. Ask your Higher Power to show you whether you’ve absorbed any emotions from your parents or other people in your life. Then stay open to the responses you get to this prayer. If any emotions or memories begin popping into your consciousness, go to your journal and write about them. Just document the scene or memory that comes to mind. Then release the emotions. Set them free and let them go. Carrying around someone else’s feelings doesn’t help the other person and it doesn’t help us. You deserve to be free and clear.

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Food for Thought

Tension or Hunger?

How often have we eaten because of tension, rather than hunger? Accepting our need for three measured meals a day with nothing in between establishes a sensible pattern, which satisfies our need for nourishment. When we are tense, we can find ways of relaxing which do not harm our body by making it fat.

Learning to relax the stomach muscles helps get rid of tension hunger. Often when we have eaten too fast because of tension, our stomach continues to send hunger signals after the meal. There has not been enough time for the digestive process to register satisfaction. We can consciously relax the muscles so that the feeling of emptiness will go away.

The best cure for tension is a growing faith in our Higher Power. If we are willing to trust Him in the little things of each day, as well as the big events of our life, we will be able to relax and cultivate serenity.

Dissolve my tension and feed my hunger, I pray.

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Cause for Celebration
Honoring Everyday Life

by Madisyn Taylor

Use the good china everyday as today is all that matters.


We all know someone who keeps plastic covers on his or her couch in order to protect it. The irony is that many of these people may live their lives without ever having actually made contact with their own furniture! This is a poignant and somewhat humorous example of the human tendency to try to save things for special occasions, as if everyday life weren’t special enough to warrant the use of nice things. Many of us have had the experience of never wearing a particular piece of clothing in order to keep it nice, only to have it go out of style in the meanwhile.

It’s interesting to think of what it would mean to us if we let ourselves wear our nicest clothes and eat off the good china on a daily basis. We might be sending ourselves the message that every day we are alive is a special day and a cause for celebration, and that we are worth it. There is something uplifting about treating ourselves to the finest of what we have. It is as if we rise to the occasion when we wear our best clothes and set the table beautifully, as if for a very special guest. We are more mindful of where we place things, what we are eating, and who is with us. Using the good china, eating in the dining room, and taking the plastic off the sofa might be an invitation to be more conscious of the beauty and grace inherent in our everyday lives.

If there are things you’ve stashed away for a special occasion—a bottle of special wine, a gorgeous pair of shoes, an antique lace tablecloth—consider taking them out of their hiding places and putting them to use tonight, just because you are alive now to enjoy them, and that’s a great cause for a celebration. Published with permission from Daily OM

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A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

When we make only superficial changes in ourselves, and give only lip service to The Program, our progress is slow and the likelihood of relapse great. Our regeneration must take the form of a true spiritual rebirth. It must go very deep, within each character flaw replaced by a new and positive quality. Am I being completely honest with myself in uncovering the faults which hamper my spiritual growth? Am I beginning to replace them with positive qualities?

Today I Pray

May God’s protective hand lead me out of the darkness of my deepest fear — that I could return to being what I do now want to be. Please, God, give me courage to make an honest appraisal of myself. Please help me cultivate my positive qualities and begin to be free of my fears.

Today I Will Remember

I must be reborn in the Spirit.

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One More Day

Should I, after tea and cakes and ices, Have the strength to force the moment to its crisis?
– Thomas Stearns Eliot

Some people call it “dancing around the issue.” After all, if there is a problem to face, we may become embarrassed when it’s time to talk about it. We try so hard to balance the emotional framework of our lives that we hardly want to be the one to bring up what seems to be a taboo topic. What we think, we don’t always state; what we intend, we don’t state clearly; and what we need, we rarely ask for. Our half-truths and mixed messages don’t result in honest communication.

Drug use? Manipulative behavior? Eating disorder? Financial problems? The only way to begin to face a problem is to admit that there is one, to talk about it, and to decide together what steps can be taken to help.

Today, I will face a problem honestly.

[bluidkiti]

July 10

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
What a man thinks of himself, that is which determines, or rather indicates, his fate. --Henry David Thoreau
Let us think of ourselves as made of dust, and allow us to be as proud of it as if it were true. For dust is everywhere. We see it in solemn rooms streaked by sun, dancing like fine angels in a cathedral light. It is the stuff of life. And it drifts down on fancy tables where the richest people eat. It cannot be denied a place. And it returns time and a time again like the seasons. It is one of the wonders of the world. And when no one sees or cares, it finds a secret corner in which to keep a solitary peace. It intends no harm. We find it at home on old leather books, the ones that preserve our noblest thoughts.
And from where we stand, it seems that even the stars are made of it. When we feel low, unworthy, or useless, let's remember that these feelings are only a small but important part of us, that even great things are made of small parts, and that we, as whole beings, are always greater than the sum of these parts.
What feelings am I made of today?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
Fears are educated into us, and can, if we wish, be educated out. --Karl A. Menninger
Two of the problems common to men in this program are fear and lack of trust. Many of us have unconsciously enlarged our fears and returned to them again and again. Do we dwell excessively on fears? Are we too fearful about our health? Money? Jobs? Love? Jealousy? The future? What other people think?
Many of us are victims of our fears and anxieties. Fears in moderation are healthy signals to us. But we need to learn to be more trusting. We can simply open ourselves to the possibility that things will turn out well. We don't need to be blind to the negatives - only have our eyes less fixed on them. No one can ever prove to us that it is finally safe to trust.
Fearfulness is the problem, not any one fear. Trusting our Higher Power, we set our tearfulness aside, even if a few particular fears remain.
Today, I will be open to learn about trust.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. --Eleanor Roosevelt
We are competent women. We made a wise choice for ourselves when we decided to recover. Each day that we continue working this program our Spirits are strengthened. And our gifts will multiply.
Feeling inferior can become a habit. Being passive and feeling inferior go hand-in-hand, and they prepare us for becoming dependent on alcohol, pills, food, and people. We didn't understand, instinctively, that we are just who we're meant to be. We grew up believing we were not smart enough, not pretty enough, not capable enough. We grew up too distant from the source of our real strength.
How wonderful for us that we found the program! How lucky we are to have, for the taking, all the strength we'll ever need to face any situation, to handle any problem, to resolve any personal relationship conflict. Feeling inferior can be only a bad memory. The choice is ours. The program promises a better life. The Steps promise the strength to move forward. Our friends promise us outstretched hands.
I will look forward to the challenges of today with hope and strength and know that I am able to meet them.


You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
Ending Relationships
It takes courage and honesty to end a relationship - with friends, loved ones, or a work relationship.
Sometimes, it may appear easier to let the relationship die from lack of attention rather than risk ending it. Sometimes, it may appear easier to let the other person take responsibility for ending the relationship.
We may be tempted to take a passive approach. Instead of saying how we feel, what we want or don't want, or what we intend to do, we may begin sabotaging the relationship, hoping to force the other person to do the difficult work.
Those are ways to end relationships, but they are not the cleanest or the easiest ways.
As we walk this path of self-care, we learn that when it is time to end a relationship, the easiest way is one of honesty and directness. We are not being loving, gentle, or kind by avoiding the truth, if we know the truth.
We are not sparing the other person's feelings by sabotaging the relationship instead of accepting the end or the change, and doing something about it. We are prolonging and increasing the pain and discomfort - for the other person and ourselves.
If we don't know, if we are on the fence, it is more loving and honest to say that.
If we know it is time to terminate a relationship, say that.
Endings are never easy, but endings are not made easy by sabotage, indirectness, and lying about what we want and need to do. Say what you need to say, in honesty and love, when it is time. If we are trusting and listening to ourselves, we will know what to say and when to say it.
Today, I will remember that honesty and directness will increase my self-esteem. God, help me let go of my fear about owning my power to take care of myself in all my relationships.


Today I will share my strength, hope and experience with someone still in pain. I will serve as I power of example to someone who is willing to let go of her suffering. --Ruth Fishel

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Journey To The Heart

Trust the Timing of Your Lessons

Too often our first inclination when we learn a lesson, gain a new insight, have an awareness, or glimpse a new truth is to judge and criticize ourselves– for not seeing it sooner, not knowing it before, or being in denial too long. That’s not necessary. It’s not appropriate. We’re not at fault because we didn’t have this awareness or understand this lesson until now.

We don’t need to see the truth one moment before we see it. Judging ourselves for not knowing sooner can close us off to what life has to teach us now. We’re here to learn our lessons, discover our truths, have our adventures.

Let yourself have your experiences. Allow yourself to learn what you learn when you learn it. Don’t judge yourself for not learning sooner. Be happy, grateful, and excited when your lesson arrives.

Trust your voice, that quiet inner voice, when it speaks to you of truth. Be grateful you can hear it, do what it tells you to do. Trust the timing of your heart.

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More Language Of Letting Go

Let the drama go

Actors in movies or on television often must exaggerate their feelings in order to create drama on the screen. If they are hurt, they cry with a special intensity. If afraid, they scream and cower in a corner or curl up on a sofa. They may grab a person trying to leave and beg for that person to stay. In rage, they may stomp around hollering in a dramatic storm.

We can learn to separate what we’re feeling from what we do. If we’re feeling fear, hurt, anger, or any other emotion, we need to experience the emotion until we become clear. Sometimes beating a pillow helps release our anger. But we don’t have to stomp around and slam doors. That’s letting our emotions control us.

You don’t have to revel in your emtions. And you can separate your behaviors– what you do– from what you feel.

Stop being a twentieth-century drama queen. It isn’t necessary anymore. We are more conscious than that now.

God, help me let go of the unnecessary drama in my life.

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Food for Thought

A Progressive Illness

It is the experience of recovering compulsive overeaters that the illness is progressive. The disease does not get better; it gets worse. Even while we abstain, the illness progresses. If we were to break our abstinence, we would find that we had even less control over our eating than before.

Continued abstinence is our only means of health and sanity. We well remember the misery and despair that we felt when we were overeating, and we do not want to feel that way again. Abstaining from one compulsive bite is a small price to pay for health and sanity.

When we find ourselves thinking thoughts, which in the past have preceded loss of control, we need to realize the great danger that lies in a relapse. The OA program has saved us from the destruction of compulsive overeating, but our disease is still alive. Our program needs to be foremost in our minds every day if we are to continue recovering.

Do not let me forget my illness.

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In God’s Care

God is in charge. ~~Daily Word

A basic truth in our life, about which we need never be concerned, is that we are in the care of a loving God – always. And we can feel and unquestioningly know this presence if we choose to acknowledge it. When we take a moment to reflect on our past good fortunes – that we found this program, that our relationships with others are on the mend, that we harbor deep-seated fear far less often – we can use them to bolster our faith that our Higher Power is here, now and will remain our constant, caring companion.

For some of us, faith in a greater Power comes easily. But many of us begin to have faith only through Acting As If. By quieting our mind, visualizing a loving presence, and breathing in the warmth and comfort, we can find the peace that is God. Through “practicing the presence,” we’ll strengthen our faith and ensure our peacefulness.

I can feel the peace I desire today through my own efforts to remember God.

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Day By Day

Avoiding criticism

Criticism is hard to take. If we don’t want to be criticized, we shouldn’t criticize others. At the same time, expressing concern in a loving way is not being critical.

We are entitled to our opinions, but we are not entitled to put other people down. Sharing our experience, strength, and hope is a way to help others, not to make them feel small.

Can I express loving concern? Can I share without making comparisons?

Higher Power, help me recognize when I am becoming critical; help me to be loving and humble.

Today I will praise…

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Finding Encouragement
Your True Inner Voice

by Madisyn Taylor

The longer you listen to and believe your true inner voice, the stronger it will become.


Within each of us, there are numerous voices often that compete for our attention. It can be difficult to decide which one to listen to, particularly when their messages are all quite different, sometimes conflicting, and even alluring. One voice, however, is the speaker of truth. Among all your inner voices, your true inner voice is the one which encourages you, gives you hope, and pushes you to trust and believe in yourself. Conflict within oneself is often caused by dueling voices inside of each one of us. As we move through life, we get mixed messages from the various aspects of ourselves. Some of our voices, such as the naysayer or saboteur, can speak so loudly that they drown out the voice of truth. Listening to your true inner voice – often the voice of understanding, support, and self-assurance - can help lessen and even resolve internal conflict.

If you’re looking toward the future but your faith in your ability to succeed in life is wavering, you will benefit from finding and listening to your true inner voice. You can connect with it by remaining relaxed and alert, while listening carefully. If you have trouble distinguishing your true voice from the others, meditation may be helpful. You may hear many voices as you meditate, but the one you should pay attention to is the one that speaks to you with love, understanding, and compassion. It will bolster your spirits and urge you to go after your dreams. And it will never cause confusion, remind you of past mistakes, or cause you to doubt yourself.

The more you listen to and believe in what your true inner voice is telling you about your value and your potential, the stronger that voice will become. And the more you disregard the voices that can interfere with your resolve to succeed, the quieter those voices will become. Saying no to the voices that are judgmental and make you feel ashamed will help you stop being critical of your failures and afraid of success. By finding and strengthening your true inner voice, you will be able to ignore internal conflict and pick out the one that speaks the truth. Published with permission from Daily OM

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A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

The Program is a road, not a resting place. Before we came to The Program — and, for some of us, many times afterward, — most of us looked for answers to our living problems in religion, philosophy, psychology, self-help groups, and so on. Invariable, these fields held forth the goals that were precisely what we wanted; they offered freedom, calm, confidence and joy. But there was one major loophole: They never gave us a workable method of getting there. They never told us how to get from where we were to where we were suppose to be. Do I truly believe that I can find everything that I need and really want through the Twelve Steps?

Today I Pray

May I know that, once through the Twelve Steps, I am not a plane surface. For life is not a flat field, but a slope upward. And those flights of steps must be taken over and over and remembered. May I be sure that once I have made them totally familiar to me, they will take me anywhere I want to go.

Today I Will Remember

The Steps are a road, not a resting place.

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One More Day

It is costly wisdom that is bought by experience.
– Roger Ascham

Wisdom is gained in many ways. We can learn from others, if we’re willing. We can listen to the voice within — that inner sense of what can and should be done. Or we can — and quite often do — pay the price for that wisdom gained from experience.

Sometimes, we ignore the cautioning voices of well-meaning friends and of our instincts, and leap instead onto foolhardy or dangerous ground. It might have to do with family problems or finances or even our personal care. Often if we fail, we pay a great price — in terms of relationships, money, or health. But even our failures are not wasted if from them we gain the wisdom of caution and care.

I will try to listen and learn from others and thereby save myself some pain.

[bluidkiti]

July 11

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
Always think of what you have to do as easy and it will become so. --Emile Corie
How we think about the activities before us is very important. If we think cleaning the garage is hard, dirty, and no chance for fun, that's just how it will feel. We'll be tired before we even begin. However, if we approach it like a treasure hunt, expecting to rediscover some long-forgotten treasures, we'll enjoy the task. In fact, it will feel like a game.
The thoughts we carry in our minds determine whether our tasks are fun or not. What good fortune it is that we can control those thoughts. If we approach an assignment for school or a job believing that we're able to do it, that it's not too hard for us, we'll finish with ease. Our thoughts determine our successes. In this way, our lives are in our own hands.
How much better can I make my life today?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
In playing, and perhaps only in playing, the child or adult is free to be creative. --D. W. Winnicott
There are so many activities called play, which have not really been playful. Organized sports for youth, which consumed some of us, are called play. The partying, which was connected with some of our addictions, is called play. Reckless and dangerous driving is called play. In recovery, some of us become intensely focused on doing what's right, and we need a deeper understanding to take the spiritual leap into creative play
This leap takes a willingness to let go. Maybe we remember hurtful things happening when our guard was down. Creative play involves trusting that every activity doesn't need a worthy goal, doesn't need to be planned out. Pleasure, humor, lightness, and aimless passing of time are forms of openness to the spirit of God. It is experimenting, exploring, setting aside our ordered and planned approach to most of life, and accepting that what comes out will be all right.
God, help me see the possibilities for play in the moments of this day.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
I have listened to the realm of the Spirit. I have heard my own soul's voice, and I have remembered that love is the complete and unifying thread of existence. --Mary Casey
The act of loving someone else brings us together, closes whatever the gap between us. It draws us into the world of another, making richer the world we call our own. Love is the great equalizer.
We no longer wish to conquer or dominate those whom we love. And our love for one increases our capacity for loving others. Love heals another, and love heals ourselves, both giving it and receiving it.
Love from another acknowledges our existence, assuring us that we do count, that someone else values our presence. It is human to need these reminders, these assurances. But our need for them is lessened each time we acknowledge another person in our midst.
Where love is absent, people, even in a crowd, feel alone, forgotten, and unimportant. No doubt we can each recall times of quiet desperation moments of alienation. We must reach out to someone and send thoughts of love to someone who may need to be remembered. Our loving thoughts for persons close and far away always reach their destination. They do unify us.
Love is powerful. It can change the complexion of the universe. It will change the direction of my life.


You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
Bring Any Request to God
Bring any request you have to God.
No request is too large; none too small or insignificant.
How often we limit God by not bringing to God everything we want and need.
Do we need help getting our balance? Getting through the day?
Do we need help in a particular relationship? With a particular character defect? Attaining a character asset?
Do we need help making progress on a particular task that is challenging us? Do we need help with a feeling? Do we want to change a self-defeating belief that has been challenging us? Do we need information, an insight? Support? A friend?
Is there something in God's Universe that would really bring us joy?
We can ask for it. We can ask God for whatever we want. Put the request in God's hands, trusting it has been heard then let it go. Leave the decision to God.
Asking for what we want and need is taking care of ourselves. Trust that the Higher Power to whom we have turned over our life and will really does care about us and about what we want and need.
Today, I will ask my Higher Power for what I want and need. I will not demand - I will ask. Then I will let go.


Today I look within to find my truth. I ask a power greater than myself to guide me and show me the way and all I have to do is follow. It is that simple. --Ruth Fishel

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Journey To The Heart

Clear the Path to Your Heart

I watched Old Faithful from my window. The geyser gurgled and spewed a low layer of steam. Then true to its name, Old Faithful erupted and sprayed thousands of gallons of steaming water into the air. Right on time.

A full range of gurgling emotions, reactions, and responses to life line the pathway to the heart. We need to feel them all– anger, hurt, sadness, irritations– in order to feel joy. To experience life and all its wonders, we must embrace all these feelings.

We need to experience the little anger as well as the big hurts, the painful wounds that life sometimes brings. To insist that we will only feel pleasant emotions means we’re blocking the pathway to the heart. We’re ignoring all the other gurgling emotions that need to be felt.

All our emotions are important; all need to be recognized. The energy of each needs to be acknowledged and released. This clears the way for love. All the emotions that precede love clear the heart, so it’s pure and free to feel joy.

Trust your emotions. All of them. You’re not off the path. They lead to the path you’re seeking. They are the journey to the heart. Let them flow freely. And sure as Old Faithful, your heart will come gleaming, shining through.

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More Language Of Letting Go

Stop building cases

You don’t have to build a big drama around your life. We may need to end a relationship or explore a new career. Instead of simply saying, This is what I’m going to do, we build a case.

Like a lawyer getting ready to go to court, we prepare our arguments. We take one feeling and build a hundred-page document around it, prepared to battle our case.

You can build cases if you want to. But usually, there’s a hidden feeling underneath all that case-building that’s asking to be cleared. It could be a tinge of guilt or fear. Or it could just be the belief that it’s not okay to clearly express ourselves, say how it feels to us, and do what we need to do to take care of ourselves.

Let go of the drama. Just say what you need and how it feels to you.

Be as simple and clear as you can in expressing yourself. If you find yourself building a case or creating a big dramatic scene, take a moment. Why are you making such a fuss.

God, help me keep it simple, especially when it comes to expressing myself.

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In God’s Care

We are only as sick as the secrets we keep.
~~Anonymous

We all have our secrets. Some of them we’re not about to tell anybody. God, of course, already knows them. There may be some things we consider so shameful that we can’t share them with anyone. But shame seperates us from God. It’s a way of saying we are too horrible, too different – it’s a form of false pride.

To hide something means we’re holding on to the shame. Not until we’re ready to admit to God, ourselves, and another human being the nature of our secrets can we be rid of our shame. But when we come to believe that we have nothing to fear from sharing our secrets, God will transform them into something useful and constructive. There is nothing we have ever done that can’t be used to help someone, ourselves included.

Today I will share my secrets with someone.

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Day By Day

Showing empathy

When we first got into recovery, most of us were quite unhappy. We were in pain; we were vulnerable. We were angry and impatient. We probably didn’t like ourselves very much and may not have liked other people much.

But what if others had treated us according to these feelings? Weren’t we forgiven? Accepted? (And if we weren’t, wouldn’t it have been better if we had been?) Today, we see that we are the same as everyone else who is struggling to achieve or maintain a drug-free life. If we treat everyone well, it will help us recover.

Am I practicing generosity and compassion?

Higher Power, help me to treat others as I would want to be treated.

Today I will be especially campassionate toward…

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Food for Thought

Goals and Ends

Most of us came into this program with a specific weight goal in mind. We thought that if only we could weigh an ideal number of pounds, all of our other troubles would miraculously vanish.

When we reach goal weight, we discover that we still have to live with ourselves and deal with our problems. If we have been developing a strong program as we have been losing weight, we have a basis on which to work for further emotional and spiritual growth.

Our emotional and spiritual goals are not static. Since we never achieve perfection, there is always opportunity for further progress. The beauty of the OA program is that it is a program for life; its possibilities are limitless. To know and do the will of our Higher Power is our ultimate goal as well as our immediate one.

May I remember that You are my goal today and always.

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The World in a Bright Light
Grateful

by Madisyn Taylor

There is always something to be grateful for even when life is hard and times are tough.


Everyday is a blessing, and in each moment there are many things that we can be grateful for. The world opens up to us when we live in a space of gratitude. In essence, gratitude has a snowball effect. When we are appreciative and express that gratitude, the universe glows a bit brighter and showers us with even more blessings.

There is always something to be grateful for, even when life seems hard. When times are tough, whether we are having a bad day or stuck in what may feel like an endless rut, it can be difficult to take the time to feel grateful. Yet, that is when gratitude can be most important. If we can look at our lives, during periods of challenge, and find something to be grateful for, then we can transform our realities in an instant. There are blessings to be found everywhere. When we are focusing on what is negative, our abundance can be easy to miss. Instead, choosing to find what already exists in our lives that we can appreciate can change what we see in our world. We start to notice one blessing, and then another.

When we constantly choose to be grateful, we notice that every breath is a miracle and each smile becomes a gift. We begin to understand that difficulties are also invaluable lessons. The sun is always shining for us when we are grateful, even if it is hidden behind clouds on a rainy day. A simple sandwich becomes a feast, and a trinket is transformed into a treasure. Living in a state of gratitude allows us to spread our abundance because that is the energy that we emanate from our beings. Because the world reflects back to us what we embody, the additional blessings that inevitably flow our way give us even more to be grateful for. The universe wants to shower us with blessings. The more we appreciate life, the more life appreciates and bestows us with more goodness. Published with permission from Daily OM

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A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

Someone once defined the ego as “the sum total of false ideas about myself.” Persistent reworking of the Twelve Steps enables me to gradually strip away my false ideas about myself. This permits nearly imperceptible but steady growth in my understanding of the truth about myself. And this, in turn, leads to a growing understanding of God and other human beings. Do I strive fro self-honesty, promptly admitting when I’m wrong?

Today I Pray

God, teach me understanding; teach me to know truth when I meet it; teach me the importance of self-honesty, so that I may be able to say, sincerely, “I was wrong.” along with, “I am sorry.” Teach me that there is such a thing as a “healthy ego” which does not require that feelings be medicated by mood-alters. May I — slowly, on my tightrope– move toward the ideal of balance, so I can do away with the nets of falsehood and compulsion.

Today I Will Remember

To keep my balance.

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One More Day

The biggest thing in our today’s sorrow is the memory of yesterday’s pain.
– Kahlil Gibran

Even though we intellectually know that a chronic illness will never go away, we emotionally offer ourselves a small glimmer of hope of recovery, of our lives going on as before.

We may spend some time reviewing life’s memories, closing out whole chapters, and dealing with how life used to be. Then we can open a whole new section of life that allows us to include pain and sickness as part of our days. We work in the frame of reference of today. This is today’s problem, and we can work it into our lives. Acknowledging that we are living a part of our lives differently from before will be our first step toward adjustment. We accept, we change, and we begin to create new joys in the present to ease our sorrow.

By altering my goals, I once again can move into the mainstream of life.

[bluidkiti]

July 12

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
We love the things we love for what they are. --Robert Frost
Once there was a little girl who had a stuffed frog named Jeremy. Jeremy went everywhere with the girl--to imaginary picnics with her other dolls, to school, on trips, and, once, even into the bathtub! Every night, Jeremy slept cradled in her arms.
Over time, Jeremy grew old and tattered. He had lost an eye, and he limped because the girl used to use one of his legs as a handle, and it had gotten crushed. His nose was a little mangled too, from being dragged on the ground.
But the girl loved that frog, no matter how bedraggled he looked. And he never did anything. He was just always there. He was just Jeremy, and she loved him for that.
Today, that girl is a young woman and has outgrown childish things. But in her bedroom, you'll still find Jeremy, tattered and repaired, asleep on her bed. She still loves him dearly, for what he is.
Who do I love, and why?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
If you keep on saying things are going to be bad, you have a good chance of being a prophet. --Isaac Bashevis Singer
Many of us have the habit of taking a negative outlook on whatever comes along. We don't believe things will work out for us; we don't think we will have a good day; we can't accept our friends' warm feelings. To follow this gloomy path is a strange distortion of faith - it is faith in the negative. Any forecast, whether hopeful or pessimistic, is a step into the unknown. So why do we choose the dark one?
We get a payoff for our pessimism, which keeps us hooked. It creates misery, but serves our demand for control. There is more risk in being open to something positive because we cannot force positive things to occur. We can only be open to them and believe in the possibility. But when we predict the negative and expect only bad things, we squelch many good things or overlook them. Then we say, "I knew it would be this way," and in our misery we satisfy our self-centered craving to be in charge. When we surrender our need to be in control, we are more open and welcoming of the good things that come our way.
Today. I will be open to the good that is around me.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
... those interested in perpetuating present conditions are always in tears about the marvelous past that is about to disappear, without having so much as a smile for the young future. --Simone de Beauvoir
Hanging on to any moment, once it's gone, deadens us to the joys and lessons of the present. We must learn to let go, to let go of persons, painful situations, and even meaningful experiences. Life goes on, and the most fruitful lesson before us is to move with the vibrations, be in tune with them.
Being open to the present is our only chance for growth. These experiences today in our lives beckon us forward along the path meant for us. We are not guaranteed only joy today. But we are promised security. We may not be free of twinges of fear or confusion, but we can learn to trust even in the midst of adversity. We can remember that power greater than ourselves whenever and wherever our steps are uncertain.
Dwelling, as we are wont to do, on our rebuffs, our rejections, invites further criticism. But neither should we dwell on past joys. Attention to now and to the persons here, now, is the only rightful response to life. Not being here, now, invites others to turn away, just as we have turned away.
I will celebrate the thrill of the present, squeeze the moments of today, and trust the outcome to God.


You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
Letting Go of Fear of Abandonment
"Where are you, God? Where did you go?"
So many people have gone away. We may have felt so alone so much. In the midst of our struggles and lessons, we may wonder if God has gone away too.
There are wondrous days when we feel God's protection and presence, leading and guiding each step and event. There are gray, dry days of spiritual barrenness when we wonder if anything in our life is guided or planned. Wondering if God knows or cares.
Seek quiet times on the gray days. Force discipline and obedience until the answer comes, because it will.
"I have not gone away child. I am here, always. Rest in me, in confidence. All in your life is being guided and planned, each detail. I know, and I care. Things are being worked out as quickly as possible for your highest good. Trust and be grateful. I am right here. Soon you will see, and know."
Today, I will remember that God has not abandoned me. I can trust that God is leading, guiding, directing, and planning in love each detail of my life.


I am at choice today. I accept responsibility of my life with a new sense of maturity, confidence and even excitement. --Ruth Fishel

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Journey To The Heart

Let the Universe Lead the Way

Feel and see how the life force, the heartbeat of the universe, leads you on, guides you, takes you on the way. Yes, there are times when we need to march forward, muster up our willpower, and grind through the motions. But those times are transitory. And that’s not the magical way we’re living now. Even when we stop, doubt, wonder, get tired and confused, the universe is there to revitalize us, move us along our path and lead the way.

If you’re tired, rest. If you’re sad,cry. If you’re thirsty, take a long cold drink of water. If you feel hopeless, feel that. But know it’s just for the moment. If you feel confused, feel that. Feel it until clarity, desire, hope, and meaning break through. You don’t have to trudge through on willpower, not any longer. You do not have to push your way through.

Rest until you feel healed, then gently go forward. Let the universe assist you. Open your eyes, the eyes of your soul, and see where to go. Feel where to go. Sense what to do next. See how the magical power of the universe carries you along, even when you get tired, even when you get confused. You are connected– to yourself, to the universal force, to God.

Quiet the chatter of your mind. Renew your body. Replenish your soul. Take in all the healing energy of the world around you.

Then let the universe lead the way.

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More Language Of Letting Go

Honor your emotions

Inside me is a wheel, constantly turning from sadness to joy, from exultation to depression, from happiness to melancholy. Like the flowers, today’s full bloom of joy will fade and wither into despondency, yet I will remember that as today’s dead flower carries the seal of tomorrow’s bloom, so, too, does today’s sadness carry the seed of tomorrow’s joy.
–Og Mandino, The Greatest Salesman in the World

Honor your emotions, they are an important part of you. They hold your connection to love, passion, joy, healing, and intuition.

Not having emotions would make us cold robots. Emotions are part of the glory of being human, and they’re our connection to our hearts.

Respect and treasure your emotional self. Learn to cherish your variety of emotions.

God, help me become the passionate, vibrant human being you created me to be. Help me feel all my emotions, and embrace the glory of being alive.

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In God’s Care

The man who views the world at fifty the same as he did at twenty has wasted thirty years of his life.
~~Muhammad Ali

We can be changed, sometimes profoundly, by seemingly insignificant events – provided we are willing to be touched by them and the people involved. How we thought and what we dreamed for in our youth was fitting for that time and place. But those thoughts and dreams may be too small for us today. Now, each moment calls for new dreams, shaped daily by the events and people we open ourselves to.

We’re most fully alive when we’re learning, changing, and growing. Not a moment passes that isn’t rich with possibilities for insights and growth. Each encounter with people who cross our path offers us the chance for a deeper connection with our Higher Power. When we become entrapped by rigid attitudes, our spirit withers. God has given us life as a gift that wee must open. It’s never too late to begin the clebration.

I will think of my life as celebration today, with me and the people around me as God’s guests of honor.

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Day By Day

Knowing our Higher Power

A good understanding of our Higher Power may be necessary for some of us, but we don’t need to get stuck on any image. All we have to do is become willing to believe that a power greater than ourselves will help us get clean and sober.

Electricity works the same after a course in electronics as it did before the course. Like-wise, our Higher Power works the same for us before we understand how it operates. It gets down to this simple idea: It’s less important that we understand God than believe God understands us.

Do I have faith in my Higher Power?

Higher Power, help me accept the fact that understanding your ways is less important than believing you are present in my life today.

I will apply my faith in my Higher Power today by…

**************************************************

Food for Thought

Growing Up

There is no magic. Nothing – be it person, place, or thing – is going to give us instant and permanent gratification. We keep thinking in the back of our mind that there is some way we can manipulate life into granting us all of our desires, even when they contradict each other.

When we seriously and with honest effort work our way through the Twelve Steps, we begin to grow up emotionally and spiritually. Abstinence from compulsive overeating makes this growth possible. It is not easy, but it is definitely worth the effort.

Acceptance and renunciation are necessary if we are to live with satisfaction in the real world. Grandiose illusions are of no help. We come to understand that certain foods, emotions, and attitudes are not for us if we are to maintain our sanity.

There is no magic, but there is a Power greater than ourselves. Who is directing our growth.

Grant me the willingness to grow up.

************************************************** ************

The Reciprocal Flow of Abundance
Giving without Expectations

by Madisyn Taylor

It is in the act of giving that we find joy, without the expectation of anything in return.


Since giving and receiving are so intimately intertwined in our lives, we often expect that we can attract abundance by simply conducting ourselves in an openhanded fashion. Yet we find ourselves wallowing in disappointment when our ample generosity is not met with the expected results. The answer to this quandary lies in the expectations that, in part, initially prompted us to give. Though our intention is likely pure, we can unintentionally mar the beautiful experience of giving by focusing on what we will eventually receive in return. When we let go of the notion that we deserve to receive gifts based on giving gifts, bounty can once again flow freely in and out of our lives.

When the gifts you give are laden down with expectations, they cease to be gifts and become units of exchange that you are, in effect, trading for some reward. Thus, the reciprocal laws of the universe err on the side of the giver who shares for the sake of sharing. You may have seen this simple truth at work in your own experience, perhaps when life’s busyness prevented you from spending too much time contemplating the results your charitable actions would ultimately have on the lives of others. It was likely then that you received the greatest gifts in return for your kindness. If you have trouble divesting yourself of your expectations, you may need to reflect upon the root of your inability to act in the true spirit of giving. Each time you make a gift, whether spiritual or tangible, ask yourself if there is something you hope to receive in return. You may be surprised to discover that you expect to be repaid with an easy life, financial windfalls, or opportunities.

To integrate this most selfless form of generosity into your life, you will have to let go of your need to be in control. Accepting that while like inevitably attracts like, it typically does so on an unobservable timetable. This can help you stop weighing the gifts you give against those you have received. Giving eventually becomes a profound joy that stands alone, separate from any and all conditions, and you will learn to appreciate the flow of reciprocal abundance as a gift in and of itself. Published with permission from Daily OM

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A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

In many aspects the Fellowship of The Program is like a reasonably happy cruise ship or, in time of trouble, like a convoy. But in the long run each of us must chart his or her own course through life. When the seas are smooth, we may become careless. By neglecting Step Ten, we may get out of the habit of checking our position. If we’re mindful of Step Ten, however, then we rarely go so far wrong that we can’t make a few corrections and get back on course again. Do I realize that regular practice of Step Ten can help me determine what other step is indicated to bring me into a happier frame of mind and into serenity?

Today I Pray

May step Ten be a sextant by which I read my whereabouts at sea, so that I can correct my course, re chart it if I am heading for shallow places. May I keep in mind that, if it weren’t for an all-knowing Captain, and the vigilance of my fellow crew members, this ship could be adrift and I could easily panic.

Today I Will Remember

To steer by a steady star.

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One More Day

There is a certain state of health that does not allow us to understand everything; and perhaps illness shuts us off from certain truths; but health shuts us off just as effectively from others.
– Andre Gide

When we were healthy, it was hard imagining what someone in poor health was going through. We could sympathize — even empathize — but we were insulated from the reality because we had no personal experience with illness.

Now, our diminished health allows us to put ourselves in someone else’s shoes. Many of our friends and family don’t always know how to act toward us or what to say. They’re the ones who may be uneasy about facing our world. We can help them because we know what they are experiencing.

I will be compassionate to my loved ones as they strive to help and understand.

[bluidkiti]

July 13

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
When you have to make a choice and don't make it, that is in itself a choice. --William James
There are times when it's hard to make a decision. When we go to the fair, for instance, we may want to do more things than we have time for, so we don't know what plans to make. Waiting to decide until we see what the fair has to offer is one choice. Not deciding because we're afraid of what may happen is also a choice. We may find ourselves thinking so much about what could happen that we miss all the exciting things going on around us.
It's necessary to keep in mind that any course of action is a decision, but no decision is irreversible. We are free to do what we decide, and are freed by the awareness that whatever we do is based on our own decision and no one else's.
What important decisions shall I make without fear today?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
If I were to begin life again, I should want it as it was. I would only open my eyes a little more. --Jules Renard
Spiritual and emotional growth is a process of raising our awareness. Reflecting on our growth as men, before this program and after, we see different levels of consciousness. Some of us might say we weren't at all conscious of what it meant to be a man by the time we entered the adult world.
Now we are forming an awareness of manhood. We see ourselves more as recovering, caring, strong, vulnerable men in relationships with others. We have an increased sense that our actions make a difference as sons, as fathers, as husbands, lovers, and friends. Our increased understanding of ourselves makes it possible to fulfill our potentials for growth. It is not idle fantasy to imagine beginning life again because, in a sense, we have. In recovery, it seems we have begun life again, only with our eyes a little more open.
Help me live this day with all of my awareness.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
The trouble is not that we are never happy--it is that happiness is so episodical. --Ruth Benedict
Happiness is our birthright. The decision to be happy is ours to make, every day, when confronted with any experience. Too many of us grew up believing that life needed to be a certain way for us to be happy. We looked for the right lover, the right job, and the right dress. We looked outside of ourselves for the key to happiness. In time, we even looked to alcohol, drugs, and food perhaps--to no avail.
Happiness lies within. We must encourage it to spring forth. But first we need to believe that happiness is fully within our power. We must trust that the most difficult circumstances won't keep it from us when we have learned to tap the source within.
Life is a gift we are granted moment-by-moment. Let us be in awe of the wonder of it, and then revel in it. We can marvel at creation for a moment and realize how special we are to be participants. Happiness will overcome us if we let it. We can best show our gratitude for the wonder of this gift by smiling within and without.
That I am here is a wonderful mystery to which joy is the natural response. It is no accident that I am here.


You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
God as We Understand God
God is subtle, but he is not malicious. --Albert Einstein
Recovery is an intensely spiritual process that asks us to grow in our understanding of God. Our understanding may have been shaped by early religious experiences or the beliefs of those around us. We may wonder if God is as shaming and frightening as people can be. We may feel as victimized or abandoned by God as we have by people from our past.
Trying to understand God may boggle our mind because of what we have learned and experienced so far in our life.
We can learn to trust God, anyway.
I have grown and changed in my understanding of this Power greater than myself. My understanding has not grown on an intellectual level, but because of what I have experienced since I turned my life and my will over to the care of God, as I understood, or rather didn't understand, God.
God is real. Loving. Good. Caring. God wants to give us all the good we can handle. The more we turn our mind and heart toward a positive understanding of God, the more God validates us.
The more we thank God for who God is, who we are, and the exact nature of our present circumstances, the more God acts in our behalf.
In fact, all along, God planned to act in our behalf.
God is Creator, Benefactor, and Source. God has shown me, beyond all else, that how I come to understand God is not nearly as important as knowing that God understand me.
Today, I will be open to growing in my understanding of my Higher Power. I will be open to letting go of old, limiting, and negative beliefs about God. No matter how I understand God, I will be grateful that God understands me.


I can go through anything a day at a time, a moment at a time with the faith and the knowledge that my Higher Power is guiding me to peace and security. --Ruth Fishel

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Journey To The Heart

See the Snow on the Desert

I drove through Arizona’s petrified forest, a land where dinosaurs once roamed, then headed across the painted desert. A light dusting of snow covered the sand and shrubs. I felt both awe and surprise at the scene nature had created.

Nature does many things. Tornados blow across the land. Hurricanes pound the shores. Bolts of lightning streak through the sky. Dust storms fill the air. Nature petrifies wood, turning trees into beautiful crystal rocks, glowing with brilliant red and orange fossilized patterns. Nature takes centuries to carve bridges out of stone, using only winds and rain and the flow of water from other rocks. And sometimes, she puts snow on the desert.

Many things happen in our lives. Some of them are probable, consequential. Some of them are flukes and seem to come out of the blue, from nowhere. All the events work into a pattern, helping to create us, create our path through life, create our destiny. Sometimes we’re influenced greatly by a traumatic storm. Other times seemingly chance occurrences can change the entire pattern and course of our lives.

We don’t have to understand everything. Maybe we aren’t supposed to. We don’t have to be prepared for all the storms. Sometimes the greatest learning occurs when we’re caught off guard, by surprise.

Weather the storms. Let them pass. Keep your balance, as best you’re able. Remember to be flexible and sway with the winds like the tall trees in the forest. Trust the flukes,too, those moments when it snows on the desert. Let destiny have its way with you.

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More Language Of Letting Go

Say it like it is

Acknowledge your pain. Then you can begin to identify the source of it, and in identifying, you can begin to heal. When we open ourselves to emotions, we don’t just get the good ones, like happiness or relief. Feelings are a package deal. We get the entire emotional range.

Pain and suffering are part of the experience of being alive. Things go wrong. Lovers leave us, parents and sometimes children die. We fall, we fail. Don’t hide from your pain. Don’t bury it under a shell of drugs, alcohol, or shallow achievement. If you hurt, then hurt.

Recognize what you’re going through. Then learn to tell it like it is.

God, help me acknowledge the pain in my life instead of trying to mask it with mood-altering substances or mindless busywork. Teach me to say what hurts. Show me what it is that I need to do to heal; then give me the strength to do that.

**************************************************

Food for Thought

Living from Within

We are often deluded into thinking that we will find our pattern for living from someone else. We look for models to imitate. Although we do learn from others, it is from within that our most sure guidance comes. Since each one of us is unique, there is no other human being who can give us an example to copy exactly.

OA recognizes individual differences and the need we each have to discover our true self. By sharing our experience, strength, and hope, we are able to develop our unique potential as individuals. We are each free to take from and give to the group, according to our own unique needs and abilities.

If we are to receive the strength, which our Higher Power wants us to have, we need to listen to the inner voice that tells us what is right for us at any given moment. The most sure guidance comes from within.

May I listen to Your voice.

************************************************** **************

In God’s Care

The real gift of love is self-disclosure.
~~John Powell

It’s natural to want to put our best face forward. We like people to see us as we want to be, not as we are. We prefer to be judged as witty, clever, kind, and perceptive, never as small-minded, selfish, weak, and critical.

Yet, it is not until we reveal our liabilities that people are truly able to see our assets. When we pretend to be without fault, we come off as phony. As we discover in doing the Fifth Step, the more we disclose our shortcomings, the more people are able to trust us.

So it is with God. God wants us without our pretenses, wants to hear our secret desires, our deep-seated grievances, our shameful thoughts. As we come clean, revealing our trueself, the barriers to love come down.

Today will not be afraid to reveal my weaknesses; self-disclosure opens the door to God’s love.

************************************************** ****************

Day By Day

Lacking power over others

When we look closely at our lives, we may realize that we have little power over others (as shocking as that may seem). Yet often our arrogance gets so blown out of proportion that we think our actions can get people high or keep them straight! Think of that!

We are so important to ourselves, we begin to think that we are that important to others. We seldom see that our affairs have about as much weight with others as theirs do with us – and that is often little.

Do I realize that I can manage no one?

Higher Power, help me realize that my power over others is actually slight and protect me from my own arrogance.

If I find myself trying to manage others today, I will…

************************************************** ****************

Connection
The Truth of Interdependence

by Madisyn Taylor

Earth is home to a web of living things that are connected to each other through a kaleidoscope of relationships.


Picking a leaf off the ground and contemplating it as an object in and of itself is very inspiring. Its shape and color, the way it feels in your hand, its delicate veins and the stem that once held it fast to the branch of a tree—all of these qualities reveal a leaf to be a miniature work of natural art. As we contemplate this small object more deeply and consider where it came from and what purpose it has served, we find that the leaf is one small but essential part of a system that harnesses the energy of the sun, plumbs the depths of the earth, and in the process brings into being the oxygen many living things rely on to live.

A leaf transforms the elements of its environment—sunlight, carbon dioxide, rain—into nourishment for its tree. This beautiful, nearly weightless, ephemeral piece of nature is a vital conduit to the branch that is a conduit to the trunk that is a conduit to the roots of the tree. The roots, in turn, draw nourishment from the earth to feed the trunk, the branches, and the leaves. The living beings that inhale the oxygen that comes from this process exhale the carbon dioxide that feeds the leaves through which the tree is fed. It is difficult to know where one cycle ends and another one begins.

One of the many gifts that nature offers us is a clear demonstration of the interdependence between all living things. The person who exhales the carbon dioxide, the clouds that produce the rain, the sun that gives light, the leaf that transforms all these things into sustenance for a tree—not one of these could survive without being part of this cycle.

Each living being is dependent upon other living things for its survival. When we look at the world, we see that this is not a place where different beings survive independently of one another. Earth is home to a web of living things that are connected to each other through a spinning kaleidoscope of relationships. We need each other to survive and thrive. Published with permission from Daily OM

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A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

These days, I go to meetings to listen for the similarities between myself and others in The Program — not the differences. And when I look for the similarities, it’s amazing how many I find, particularly in the area of feelings. Today I go to meetings thinking that I’m here not because of anyone Else’s addictions, but because of mine and , most importantly, what my addiction did to my spirit anybody. I’m here because there’s no way I can stay free of my addiction by myself. I need The Program and my Higher Power. Am I becoming less harsh in my judgments of others?

Today I Pray

May I stay alert as I listen, just one more time, to Jack or Jill or Fred or Sam or Martha go through his or her tale of woe or weal. May I find, when I listen with the whole-hearted attention I want to be able to give, that each has something to offer me to add to my own life-tale. May I be struck once again by our sameness. May each sameness draw us nearer to each others needs.

Today I Will Remember

In sameness, there is strength.

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One More Day

We often make self-defeating choices because we are unenlightened about our needs. We pick the opposite of what we really need because we don’t know what we need.
– Lila Swell

Sometimes we may repeatedly engage in self-defeating behaviors. Poor work habits can lead to being fired and being defeated again. Overeating causes obesity, health issues, and poor image, which may lead to fad dieting and more failure. Until lightening strikes, until we finally realize that we are defeating our deepest needs — spiritual and emotional — we plod along on the same path.

The direction of our behavior changes when we see what our needs are and that they are the same for everyone. we all need love, compassion, and the opportunity to love others, and we can satisfy those needs in healthy ways.

I’ll make positive choices for myself today.

[bluidkiti]

July 14

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
Happiness is not a matter of events; it depends upon the tides of the mind. --Alice Meyvell
It's thought that Abe Lincoln once said, "We're as happy as we make up our minds to be." In other words, we decide to be happy. Bad weather, lost toys, broken plans, even angry friends don't have to ruin our own happiness unless we let them. We're always in control of our own thoughts and feelings, and happiness is a feeling we can choose even when others around us have chosen to be angry or sad. Even when the day is gloomy and none of our plans are working out, we can still be cheerful if we decide to be. How lucky we are that someone else can't decide for us how to feel. We'd be nothing more than robots if that were true.
Am I ready to make this day a happy one?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
Life is not a "brief candle." It is a splendid torch that I want to make burn as brightly as possible before handing on to future generations. --George Bernard Shaw
We are men who have sought intensity. Some have said the extremes of our past were a kind of search for a Higher Power, although we went to self-defeating ends. There is no need now for us to give up our intense love of life. Serenity need not be bland. In facing ourselves, confronting our pain, surrendering our arrogant individualism, we are released to live the life we deeply desire.
What do men really want? We want to have true, lasting friendships with other men and women - to be at peace with our Higher Power and ourselves. We want to be fully aware in the present moments of our lives. We want to have some joy and to make a contribution to the world.
I am grateful that my torch burns brightly. I am finding what I really want.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
Through spontaneity we are reformed into ourselves. Freed from handed-down frames of reference, spontaneity becomes the moment of personal freedom when we are faced with a reality, explore it, and act accordingly. --Viola Spolin
Living in the here and the now opens up untold possibilities for new growth. Our inner self is enticed in new directions when our attention is fully in the present. When our minds are still on last night's argument or tomorrow's board meeting, we wear blinders to the activity at hand. And God, as our teacher and protector, resides in this experience, in the hearts of these people present.
Every single moment has something for us. Maybe a new piece of information. A piece that solves a problem that's been puzzling us. Perhaps a chance to make a new friend, one who will be there in a time of need.
Letting go of yesterday frees us. We need not be burdened. It is gone. Our lives could be eased, so much, if we kept our focus on the experience at hand, where the problems we ponder have their solutions. Always.
I will greet today, skipping, smiling, ready for the answers, the truths, the directions meant only for me. The wonders of today will bless me.


You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
We Are Lovable
Even if the most important person in your world rejects you, you are still real, and you are still okay. --Codependent No More
Do you ever find yourself thinking: How could anyone possibly love me? For many of us, this is a deeply ingrained belief that can become a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Thinking we are unlovable can sabotage our relationships with co-workers, friends, family members, and other loved ones. This belief can cause us to choose, or stay in, relationships that are less than we deserve because we don't believe we deserve better. We may become desperate and cling as if a particular person was our last chance at love. We may become defensive and push people away. We may withdraw or constantly overreact.
While growing up, many of us did not receive the unconditional love we deserved. Many of us were abandoned or neglected by important people in our life. We may have concluded that the reason we weren't loved was because we were unlovable. Blaming ourselves is an understandable reaction, but an inappropriate one. If others couldn't love us, or love us in ways that worked, that's not our fault. In recovery, we're learning to separate ourselves from the behavior of others. And we're learning to take responsibility for our healing, regardless of the people around us.
Just as we may have believed that we're unlovable, we can become skilled at practicing the belief that we are lovable. This new belief will improve the quality of our relationships. It will improve our most important relationship: our relationship with our self. We will be able to let others love us and become open to the love and friendship we deserve.
Today, God, help me be aware of and release any self-defeating beliefs I have about being unlovable. Help me begin, today, to tell myself that I am lovable. Help me practice this belief until it gets into my core and manifests itself in my relationships.


You are reading from the book Food for Thought.
Energize, Don't Tranquilize
Food is nourishment for our bodies, not a drug. When we overeat, we sap our energy and dull our responses. Too much food makes us lazy and lethargic. We should eat for energy, not oblivion.
If we have been using food as a narcotic to temporarily deaden the pain of living, then we need to learn other ways to cope. Much of our pain is needless, brought on by egocentric fears and demands. If we accept the fact that we cannot change another person's behavior, then we will not hurt ourselves by anger at what that person does.
At the same time, we will learn to remove ourselves from people and situations, which cause us unnecessary pain. We do not have to be martyrs! Abstinence gives us the energy to make positive changes.
A certain amount of pain, both physical and emotional, is unavoidable. Often, it accompanies growth. To tranquilize ourselves with food is to impede growth.
May I remember to eat for energy instead of oblivion.


Today I know that if I'm coming from good and love, then only good and love with happen. Today I know that what I give, I receive back. Ruth Fishel

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Journey To The Heart

Touch the Eternal

My friend, a clerk in a local bookstore, and I were sitting on a bench one evening about twenty feet from the edge of the Pacific Ocean. A few stars and a tiny sliver of moon softly lit the sky. We were drinking coffee and staring at the sea. “I like the ocean,” my friend said. “I need to see it. It’s nature’s way of reminding us of eternity.

Sometimes, we zoom in on the details of our lives and all we can see is the small picture– the problems, issues, and specifics of what we need to do today. These moments are real. They’re the heart of our lives. It’s good to stay focused and attend to them, but sometimes we need to step back and see the big picture,too.

Visit places that remind you of eternity when you can. See the mountians. See the stars. Walk among the ancient redwoods. Stand at the ocean’s door. Let nature and life remind you of eternity in ways that speak to your soul.

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More Language Of Letting Go

Take care of yourself, no matter what

Some days, we wake up in the morning, and by the time we go to bed that evening, our life has twisted, changed in a way that we couldn’t predict and don’t want. Our worst fears have come true.

Life as we have known it will never be the same again. The problem isn’t just that this tragedy has come along and knocked our lives for a loop, although that alone would be enough. To complicate matters, we now know how vulnerable we are. And we wonder, in that vulnerability, if we can ever trust God, life, or ourselves again.

Many years ago, the founders of Alcoholics Anonymous, a spiritually based program designed to help alcoholics recover, cautioned people not to base sobriety and faith in God on the false notion that any person is immune from tragedy. They knew that life would continue to be life.

You are not alone, in your joy or in your sorrow. You may feel that way for a while. But soon you’ll begin to see that many others have experienced, surrendered to, and transcended a similar misfortune or loss. Your pain is important. But you’re not being singled out. Don’t use your misfortune to prove that you were right all along– you’re a victim of circumstance, fate, and God.

“God must really love me,” a young man said one day after walking away from a motorcycle accident that should have been tragic.

God loves all of us, whether we walk away pain-free or not.

Keep taking care of yourself, no matter what.

God, transform my pain into compassion for others and myself.

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In God’s Care

Each time we sense the possibility of a new direction in our lives, we are being given a chance to grow.
~~The Promise of a New Day, May 11

Change is the one constant in our life and yet it causes us the most unrest. We forget that change is growth and is good; it insures our emotional and spiritual evolution. It promises us the blessings that are ours to collect on this special journey through life.

We can better develop our acceptance of change by systematically recalling instances in the past when change, whether minor or profound, ushered in new understanding, greater strength and confidence; where we were thus able to handle the role we’d been given to play.

God inteds that we enlarge our capacity to love, to serve, and to understand. The changes we experience are the stair steps to this greater capacity.

Today I’ll smile if a changing current for the good beckons, knowing that it’s God’s invitation to a richer life

************************************************** **********

Day By Day

Paying for freedom

Henry David Thoreau said, “The cost of a thing is the amount of what I will call life which is required to be exchanged for it, immediately or in the long run.” The price we paid for using alcohol and other drugs was our freedom. We finally realized that it costs too much to feel oblivious. The price became so high that we could no longer barter with mood-altering chemicals for our time and freeedom. The chemicals had absolute control.

Unless we wake up and pay the price for freedom-which is spiritual growth- we will be a slave to chemicals until death. But if we turn our lives over to God, all the liberty we need is made available to us.

Am I paying the right price for my freedom?

Higher Power, help me always to remember that the cost of using chemicals in my life is much too high.

Today I will pay for greater freedom by…

************************************************** ***********

Food for Thought

Energize, Don’t Tranquilize

Food is nourishment for our bodies, not a drug. When we overeat, we sap our energy and dull our responses. Too much food makes us lazy and lethargic. We should eat for energy, not oblivion.

If we have been using food as a narcotic to temporarily deaden the pain of living, then we need to learn other ways to cope. Much of our pain is needless, brought on by egocentric fears and demands. If we accept the fact that we cannot change another person’s behavior, then we will not hurt ourselves by anger at what that person does.

At the same time, we will learn to remove ourselves from people and situations, which cause us unnecessary pain. We do not have to be martyrs! Abstinence gives us the energy to make positive changes.

A certain amount of pain, both physical and emotional, is unavoidable. Often, it accompanies growth. To tranquilize ourselves with food is to impede growth.

May I remember to eat for energy instead of oblivion.

************************************************** **************

The Weight of Objects
Clearing a Space for Change

We hold onto material objects because we think they make us feel secure, when in reality they are cluttering our lives.


In life, we tend to have an easier time acquiring possessions than we do getting rid of them. Just as we harbor emotional baggage that is difficult to let go of, our lives can tend to be filled with material objects that we may feel compelled to hold on to. Most people are not conscious of how much they own and how many of their possessions are no longer adding value to their life. They fiercely hold on to material objects because this makes them feel secure or comfortable. While it’s true that the ownership of “stuff” can make you feel good for awhile, it seldom satisfies the deep inner longings that nearly everyone has for fulfillment and satisfaction. It is only when we are ready to let go of our baggage and be vulnerable that it becomes possible to recognize the emotional hold that our possessions can have on us.

It’s not uncommon to hold on to material objects because we are attached to them or fear the empty spaces that will remain if we get rid of them. Giving away the souvenirs from a beloved voyage may feel like we are erasing the memory of that time in our life. We may also worry that our loved ones will feel hurt if we don’t keep the gifts they’ve given us. It’s easy to convince ourselves that unused possessions might come in handy someday or that parting with them will cause you emotional pain. However, when your personal space is filled with objects, there is no room for anything new to enter and stay in your life. Your collection of belongings may “protect” you from the uncertainties of an unknown future while keeping you stuck in the past. Holding on to unnecessary possessions often goes hand in hand with holding on to pain, anger, and resentment, and letting go of your material possessions may help you release emotional baggage.

When you make a conscious decision to fill your personal space with only the objects that you need or bring you joy, your energy level will soar. Clearing your personal space can lead to mental clarity and an improved memory. As you learn to have a more practical and temporary relationship to objects, positive changes will happen, and you’ll have space to create the life that you desire. Published with permission from Daily OM

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A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

Conditioned as we are by our old ideas and old ways of living, it’s understandable that we tend to resist certain suggestions made to us when we first come to The Program. If that’s the cases, there’s no need to permanently reject such suggestions; it’s better, we’ve found, just temporarily to set them aside. The point is, there’s no hard-and-fast “right” way or “wrong” way. Each of us uses what’s best for himself or herself at a particular time, keeping an open mind regarding other kinds of help we may find valuable at another time. Am I trying to remain open-minded?

Today I Pray

May I be enlightened about the real meaning of an open mind, aware that my one-time definition of “open-minded” as “broad-minded” doesn’t seem to fit here. May I constantly keep my mind open to the suggestions of the solid many who came into The Program before me. What has worked for them may work for me, no matter how far-fetched or how obvious it may be.

Today I Will Remember

Only an open mind can be healed.

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One More Day

Nothing is unthinkable, nothing impossible to the balanced person, provided it arises out of the needs of life and is dedicated to life’s further developments.
– Lewis Mumford

Occasionally, we may be discouraged over the loss of an ability we’d always counted on. Accepting this loss often requires a major emotional adjustment.

Our lives need not be defined by our inabilities, but instead by our possibilities. If bogged down in negativity, we may truly become the disabled people that others see at first glance.

Marvelous opportunities for growth and joy often await us — through doors we can choose the open and pass through. Almost nothing is impossible if we want to get there badly enough.

I won’t use medical problems as excuses to bow out of life. Today, I will look for opportunities for challenge and growth.

[bluidkiti]

July 15

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
I was forced to live far beyond my years when just a child. Now I have reversed the order and I intend to remain young indefinitely. --Mary Pickford
We can all learn to change our lives so the child within each of us can live in balance with the people we have become. We can learn to give the child a voice, let the child play, let the child express needs and fears and pleasures.
We might look at our old baby pictures for a valuable lesson. We will see pictures of ourselves on rocking horses, grinning and waving; pictures of ourselves with our most precious toy--a crude metal car, perhaps; pictures of ourselves rolling in the grass. The lesson we learn is that it doesn't take much to make this child happy--even today.
We keep our own happiness safe inside us to call on whenever we need it, as long as we keep a healthy relationship with the child within. When we nourish the child, we can be assured the child will also nourish us.
What simple thing will make me happy today?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
There is nothing you can say in answer to a compliment. I have been complimented myself a great many times, and they always embarrass me - I always feel that they have not said enough. --Mark Twain
Hearing the good words and praise of another person is harder for some of us to accept than criticism and abuse. Perhaps it is easier to receive what we are accustomed to, or maybe we feel a loss of control when someone compliments us. This is a time for us to begin accepting others' actions. We do not need to be in control of our relationships at all times. When friends offer sincere compliments, we don't need to push them away or brush them off.
All we need to do is allow others' positive messages to come into us. In a good relationship we listen to the feelings of our friends, and sometimes that means truly listening as they tell us their good feelings about us.
Today, I will be open to the compliments that come my *way without controlling them.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
If I can stop one heart from breaking, I shall not live in vain; If I can ease one life the aching, Or cool one pain, Or help one fainting robin into his nest again, I shall not live in vain. --Emily Dickinson
The gift of attention to each other is "passing on" the love of God. In order to feel love, we have to give it away. We will know love when we give love.
Our attachment to the world, the sense of belonging most of us longed for the many years prior to recovery, awaits us, is showered upon us even as we reach out to someone else. We are no longer alone, scared, alienated when we let others know they are not alone. We can heal one another. The program opens the way for our healing.
Each day, each one of us can ease the pain of a friend, a co-worker, a child. The beauty of the program, the beauty of God's plan for us all, is that our own pain is relieved in the process of easing the pain of another. Love is the balm. Loving others makes our lives purposeful.
No day is lived in vain, if I but cherish someone else's presence.


You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
Family Buttons
I was thirty five years old the first time I spoke up to my mother and refused to buy into her games and manipulation. I was terribly frightened and almost couldn't believe I was doing this. I found I didn't have to be meant. I didn't have to start an argument. But I could say what I wanted and needed to say to take care of myself. I learned I could love and honor myself, and still care about my mother - the way I wanted to - not the way she wanted me to. --Anonymous
Who knows better how to push our buttons than family members? Who, besides family members, do we give such power?
No matter how long we or our family members have been recovering, relationships with family members can be provocative.
One telephone conversation can put us in an emotional and psychological tailspin that lasts for hours or days.
Sometimes, it gets worse when we begin recovery because we become even more aware of our reactions and our discomfort. That's uncomfortable, but good. It is by beginning this process of awareness and acceptance that we change, grow, and heal.
The process of detaching in love from family members can take years. So can the process of learning how to react in a more effective way. We cannot control what they do or try to do, but we can gain some sense of control over how we choose to react.
Stop trying to make them act or treat us any differently. Unhook from their system by refusing to try to change or influence them.
Their patterns, particularly their patterns with us, are their issues. How we react, or allow these patterns to influence us, is our issue. How we take care of ourselves is our issue.
We can love our family and still refuse to buy into their issues. We can love our family but refuse their efforts to manipulate, control, or produce guilt in us.
We can take care of ourselves with family members without feeling guilty. We can learn to be assertive with family members without being aggressive. We can set the boundaries we need and want to set with family members without being disloyal to the family.
We can learn to love our family without forfeiting love and respect for ourselves.
Today, help me start practicing self care with family members. Help me know that I do not have to allow their issues to control my life, my day, or my feelings. Help me know it's okay to have all my feelings about family members, without guilt or shame.


Today I choose to think positive. Today I let my thoughts lead the way to success and happiness. --Ruth Fishel

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Journey To The Heart

Delight in Yourself

Stop picking on yourself, worrying if you’re good enough, wondering what people will see if you let them see your heart. This is what they’ll see: that you are a lovable and delightful soul, beautiful child of God.

Be yourself and accept yourself–warts, waistline,and all. You don’t have to sit up that straight, be that proper, or fear what others may see. Let your imperfections show! Share them! Love yourself anyway! Relax, and be who you are! When you do that, your life will be fun and a joyful gift to others.

People who comfortably accept who they are– both their flaws and their good points– are healing, delightful, and fun to be around. Look at any work of nature: a canyon, a flower, a bird. A mountain or a forest trail. Where does the perfection begin and imperfecting end? It’s the combination that makes a perfect scene. So it is with you.

Relax. Lighten up. Let go of shame and fear. The whole picture is perfect, and perfectly okay.

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More Language Of Letting Go

Expect grief to be a lot of grief

Your grief will take more energy than you would have ever imagined.
–Theresa A. Rondo
How to Go on Living When Someone You Love Dies

Grief is more than one feeling. Depending on the nature of the loss, it may become a temporary way of life. It may last eight weeks or eight years.

Let go of any judgements you have about grief and about how long you think it should take to get over that loss. Instead, practice compassion for other people and for yourself.

Keep your expectations realistic. Give anyone who’s grieving, whether it’s yourself or someone else, more latitude than you think could possibly be needed.

God, there’s a lot of broken hearts on this planet. Please heal them all, including mine.

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In God’s Care

Prayer enlarges the heart until it is capable of containing God’s gift to himself.
~~Mother Teresa

In praying, some of us depend on the traditions of our religion, others on the instructions of spriitual leaders. Some of us just strike out on our own, not knowing what to say or what to do, yet believing that form is not as important as intent. We only know that when we do pray, something happens.

And each time we lift our thoughts to God, it is easier the next time. Then, as we keep praying, we discover that we have begun to establish a familiarity. Our heart is opening to God without our realizing it. When we are willing, God fills our heart. And even though we can leave God, and often do, God never leaves us.

I am grateful that God is in my heart. My prayer is one of thanks.

************************************************** **************

Day By Day
July 15, 2013
Recognizing opportunities

Today is a day of opportunity. Any experiences that we have today – good or bad – can be seen as opportunities, opportunities to grow closer to God.

As bread is food for the body, opportunities are food for the soul.

Do I see all the opportunities in my daily life? Do I take advantage of them?

I pray that I may use my experiences as opportunities to grow closer to God.

Today I will look for opportunities by…

************************************************** ***************

Food for Thought

Clean Abstinence

It is easy to become sloppy in our abstinence and in our program. This is where a daily inventory is an invaluable aid. When we catch ourselves cheating just a little on measurements, making excuses to skip meetings, neglecting to follow the promptings of our Higher Power, it is time for housecleaning.

If we have stopped calling in our food plan and are having trouble with abstinence, we may need to get in touch with a food sponsor. Many of us find it hard to admit that we cannot do everything alone! False pride can be our downfall. If we pretend that all is well when it is not, we cut ourselves off from the help of the group.

The time to correct small mistakes is immediately, before they get bigger and make us discouraged. Admitting the mistake to another person clears the way for correction and change.

Thank You for those who help me maintain clean abstinence.

************************************************** ****************

Elegant Blessings
Living a Life of Grace

by Madisyn Taylor

When we accept that we always exist in a state of grace, we are able to live our lives more graciously.


Grace exists inside of all of us and around us. It is our inner beauty that radiates outward, touching everyone we meet. It is that unseen hand that comes from the divine, raising us up when we most need it. To be able to live in a state of grace is not based on worthiness, nor is it earned through good deeds, ritual, or sacrifice. Rather it is an unearned favor, freely bestowed and available to all, that is inherent to our birthright. All we must do is open our eyes to its presence and we will find and experience grace everywhere.

Grace is in the rain bringing relief to drought-ridden farms, and the unexpected lead for the perfect job opportunity that comes from a stranger. Grace is what happens to someone when they miraculously escape injury; it is even the simple events that happen to us that we call “good luck,” like when we don’t get a parking ticket after are meter has expired. Grace resides in the love between two people, the gift or check that comes unexpectedly in the mail, the cozy comforts that make up a home, and in the acts of forgiveness we bestow upon others. It is grace that moves us to go out of our way to help a stranger. In music, a grace note is the pause between notes that is so important to the pacing of a song. Grace is the state we are in when we are doing nothing but just being who we are.

When we accept that we always exist in a state of grace, we are able to live our lives more graciously. Knowing we are graced gives us hope, makes us more generous, and allows us to trust that we are taken care of even when we are going through difficult times. Grace is our benevolence of heart, and our generosity of spirit. Grace is unconditional love and the beauty that is our humanity. When we know that we are blessed with grace, we can’t help but want to live our lives in harmony. Published with permission from Daily OM

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A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

Faced with almost certain destruction by our addictions, we eventually had no choice but to become open-minded on spiritual matters. In that sense, the chemicals of drugs we used were potent persuaders; they finally whipped us into a state of reasonableness. We came to learn that when we stubbornly close the doors on our minds, we’re locking out far more than we’re locking in. Do I immediately reject new ideas? Or do I patiently strive to change my old way of living?

Today I Pray

May I keep an open mind especially on spiritual matters, remembering that “spiritual” is a bigger word than “religious.” (I was born of the Spirit, but I was taught religion.) May I remember that a locked mind is a symptom of my addiction and an open mind is essential to my recovery.

Today I Will Remember

If I lock more out than I lock in, what am I protecting?

**************************************************

One More Day

Let us then be up and doing, with a heart for any fate.
– Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

There may have been times in our lives when we have been forced, for one reason or another, to eat a bland diet. The reasons don’t matter; what does matter is how totally bored we became with the unvarying beige-and-white soft menu! Before long we had lost our anticipation of eating.

We may sometimes place ourselves on a bland diet of life. Daily routine says much the same, day after day, year after year. From home to work to the sofa to bed, and start all over again. Some routine is like a healthy diet that gives us stability and safety, but a sprinkling of risk is the seasoning that adds zest to our lives. We can reach out for what is not habit. We can continue to try when previous efforts have failed. We can take a generous helping of life.

I can dare to change or to try new things without sacrificing all of my routine and safety.

[bluidkiti]

July 16

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
Let a joy keep you. Reach out your hands and take it when it runs by. --Carl Sandburg
There is a song that says joy is like the rain. It comes across our window pane and then goes away again. When joy comes knocking at our window we can reach out and let it in. Joy comes to us in many ways--through deep laughter, through games played together in a spirit of fun and sharing. Singing together, skating, and being around a campfire are all ways we share joy. Yet joy can also be felt alone.
Each moment of joy we reach for strengthens our spirits. Joyful memories can sustain us through days of long hard work. Like rain, joy comes and goes, yet its nourishment keeps our spirits alive.
How can I share my joy today?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
Do not seek death. Death will find you. --Dag Hammarskjold
When we accept deep within ourselves the fact that we will die, that our days are numbered as certainly as those of each thriving, bustling generation before us, then we become more fully alive and vital men. Facing this raises grief over our loss, and we wish to avoid it. Yet, death keeps us honest. It highlights the folly of our questions about whether we should live or die and confronts us with the self-destructive behaviors we have used. Some of us have nearly killed ourselves by our extreme behaviors.
Since death is certain, the real question is. How shall we live? By pursuing recovery and spiritual growth we have chosen to live more fully and to use our energies well. We live with commitment to our highest values. We stay in tune with our inner voice to help us make choices. We play, we love, and we celebrate the miracle of life every day, not because there is no grief, but because life is precious and time is limited.
Today, I will accept my grief over the limits of life. I will celebrate its wonder.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
I have come to believe in the "Sacrament of the Moment," which presupposes trust in the ultimate goodness of my creator.
--Ruth Casey
The moment, realized, is like a bud blossoming. The day unfolds and with each minute we are moved along to the experiences right for us at this place and this time. Our resistance to certain experiences and particular people creates the barrier that blocks the good in store for us.
We can rest assured; our higher power is caring for us. Each breath we take is Spirit-filled, and the plan for our lives is an accumulation of necessary experiences that is helping us to grow and develop our special talents. What we often forget is that the difficult periods of our lives stretch us, enlighten us, ready us to be the women we desire within to be.
This moment is sacred. All moments are sacred. They will not come again. What is offered this moment for us to grow on will not be offered in exactly this way again. Our higher power knows our needs and is caring for them. We can trust the goodness of today.


You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
Insisting on the Best
We deserve the best life and love has to offer, but we are each faced with the challenge of learning to identify what that means in our life. We must each come to grips with our own understanding of what we believe we deserve, what we want, and whether we are receiving it.
There is only one place to start, and that is right where we are, in our current circumstances. The place we begin is with us.
What hurts? What makes us angry? What are we whining and complaining about? Are we discounting how much a particular behavior is hurting us? Are we making excuses for the other person, telling ourselves we're "too demanding"?
Are we reluctant, for a variety of reasons, especially fear, to tackle the issues in our relationships that may be hurting us? Do we know what's hurting us and do we know that we have a right to stop our pain, if we want to do that?
We can begin the journey from deprived to deserving. We can start it today. We can also be patient and gentle with ourselves, as we travel in important increments from believing we deserve second best, to knowing in our hearts that we deserve the best, and taking responsibility for that.
Today, I will pay attention to how I allow people to treat me, and how I feel about that. I will also watch how I treat others. I will not overreact by taking their issues too personally and too seriously; I will not under react by denying that certain behaviors are inappropriate and not acceptable to me.
Whatever situation I encounter today, I will believe in its goodness. It is right for me. It may stretch my patience rather than elicit laughter, but it is right for me at this time.


Today I am willing to give away what I need for myself. I am willing to listen to someone else's problems. That way we will both see that we are traveling together on the same journey and are not alone. --Ruth Fishel

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Journey To The Heart

Go a Little Further

I arrived at Oregon’s Willamette National Forest after dark. Suddenly I found myself at a fork in the road. To the right was a chained gate marked “Foot Travelers Welcome. To the left was an open road marked “Nature Sanctuary, Authorized Visitors Only.”

I stared at both signs, then headed to the left. I didn’t see anything that looked like lodging and I began to feel uncomfortable, like one of the unauthorized visitors the sign warned about. I backed the car out to the fork, turned around and left.

Two hours later, I still hadn’t found the retreat. I was tired and worried about running out of gas. I tried to remember what I’d been learning– that desperation attracts more desperation. I relaxed and visualized myself finding the retreat, being given a key to a room, and going to sleep in a bed. I visualized it until I could see the scene clearly in my mind.

Before long I found myself back at the fork. I mean no harm, I thought. So I’ll just drive down that nature sanctuary road again, the one for authorized visitors only. I drove as far as I had before, then decided to push ahead a bit more. I rounded the bend and there it was– the parking lot, the night office, and a man who could give me a key to my room. Within twenty minutes, I was in bed for the evening.

Sometimes we need to go further than we thought we could. We need to go past our fear, past our uncertainty, past the bend we can’t see beyond. If we stay on the course, give it that extra push, and go round the bend, we may find what we’re looking for.

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More Language Of Letting Go

There’s a bottom to the well

“I’m not disconnected from my emotions,” said Jan. “But what I am is frightened. I go so deeply into some feelings that I think that how I’m feeling now is the way I’ll always feel. I get frightened, especially with sadness, that there’s no end, no bottom, to what I’m going through.”

Some feelings are just plain big. It feels like we’ve fallen into an emotional well with no bottom.

We haven’t. There is a bottom. It may take a while to ge there, but there is a bottom. And there are ways we can take care of ourselves when we’re feeling this way. Some people get professional help. Others make a decision to go through it, giving special care to themselves. If you’re going through an emotionally exhausting time, you may want to design your own care routine. Here are some suggestions that have helped some people get through these times.

. If you’re involved with a support group, go to your meetings, even and especially if you don’t feel like going out.

. Let a trusted friend know what you’re going through. Ask that person for support, be clear in asking for what you need.

. Get plenty of rest. It takes a lot of energy to go through feelings this big.

. Make yourself get up and get out sometimes,too. Just the sheer act of being around people, in a park or at the mall, reminds us that life goes on when it feels like our life has stopped. Ask yourself what might feel good, and listen to any positive ideas you get.

. Exercise, even if you don’t want to. Move your body around. It’ll help move those feelings around,too.

. Make daily goals, a list of things you want and need to do each day. Give yourself room to feel your feelings, but exercise your will and volition,too.

. Don’t let your environment reflect what you’re feeling; let it reflect how you want to feel. Tidy up your living space.

. Give yourself time deadlines for emotions. For instance, give yourself half an hour to thoroughly and completely give in to the feeling, then go do something else for a while. Go for a walk, watch TV, go to a movie, read a book. Tell yourself you’re not running away from the feeling. You’re just going to take a break for a while.

. Journal. Write about how you feel. Few things in life can substitute or work better than actually making a connection with ourselves.

. Then pray. Connecting with God always help.

God, help me accept and get through all my feelings, even the big ones.

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Food for Thought

Hard Right or Easy Wrong?

We are constantly faced with choices, and often we are tempted to follow the way of least resistance. In our dealings with others and ourselves it is usually easier to say yes than no, but yes is not always the best answer. If we are too permissive, we become lax and ineffective.

The problem with taking the easy way is that it usually ends up being harder in the long run. If we do not control our eating, we will have all of the problems of obesity. If we do not limit our spending, we will eventually lack funds for what we need. If we do not follow moral and ethical principles, our lives become chaotic and we live in constant fear and tension.

Although choosing the hard right is difficult, it is by exercising our ethical muscles that we become strong and gain self-respect.

By Your grace, may I make the right choices.

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Recognizing Our Own Greatness
The Greatness in Others

by Madisyn Taylor

We are all moved by greatness when we see it we know the feeling of it and have it within ourselves.


A person who is said to possess greatness stands apart from others in some way, usually by the size or originality of their vision and their ability to manifest that vision. And yet those who recognize that greatness, whether they display it themselves or not, also have greatness within them; otherwise, they could not see it in another. In many ways, the achievements of one person always belong to many people for we accomplish nothing alone in this world. People who display greatness rely upon others who are able to see as they do, to listen, encourage, and support. Without those people who recognize greatness and move in to support it, even the greatest ideas, works of art, and political movements would remain unborn.

We are all moved by greatness when we see it, and although the experience is to some degree subjective, we know the feeling of it. When we encounter it, it is as if something in us stirs, awakens, and comes forth to meet what was inside us all along. When we respond to someone else’s greatness, we feed our own. We may feel called to dedicate ourselves to their vision, or we may be inspired to follow a path we forge ourselves. Either way, we cannot lose when we recognize that the greatness we see in others belongs also to us. Our recognition of this is a call to action that, if heeded, will inspire others to see in us the greatness they also possess. This creates a chain reaction of greatness unfolding itself endlessly into the future.


Ultimately, greatness is simply the best of what humanity has to offer. Greatness does what has not been done before and inspires the same courage that it requires. When we see it in others, we know it, and when we trust its presence in ourselves, we embody it. Published with permission from Daily OM

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A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

Long experience has proven that The Program and Twelve Steps will work for any person who approaches it with an open mind. We have to remember that we can’t expect miracles overnight; after all, it took years to create the situation in which we find ourselves today. I’ll try to be receptive and to listen. I’ll try to e less hasty in drawing judgmental conclusions. I’ll hand on to the expectation that The Program can change my entire life as long as I give it a chance. Have I begun to realize that my ultimate contentment doesn’t depend on having things work out my way?

Today I Pray

I pray for a more receptive attitude; for a little more patience; a little less haste and more humility in my judgments. May I always understand that change will come — it will all happen — if I will listen for God’s will, God grant me perseverance, for sometimes I must wait a while for The Program’s Steps to take effect.

Today I Will Remember

Patience.

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One More Day

What is experience? A poor little hut constructed from the ruins of the palace of gold and marble called our illusion.
– Joseph Roux

Our youthful dreams of glory, adventure, and wealth have, for most of us, been unfulfilled, yet we are not disappointed. Childlike illusions that a meaningful life had to be based on excitement and power have give way to a maturity that values simpler, yet more important, goals.

Our long-ago need to importance was based on the judgment of others. We want other people to see our wealth, feel our power, possibly even envy our influence. Today, we seek our own approval. We value serenity, not adventure. Love, not envy. Acceptance, now power. We live with goals, not illusions.

I am thankful that my values are strong.

[bluidkiti]

July 17

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
When you feel rejected, start accepting yourself, and then go out and accept someone. --Sondra Ray
There was once a mother who felt rejected when her children grew up and needed to separate from her. She felt hurt when they pushed her away and no longer wanted all the love and caring that she wanted to give them. She thought, What's wrong with me?
Encouraged by her friends, she began to ask herself another question: What's right with me? The more answers she found to that question, the better she liked herself. The better she liked herself, the more she was able to see her children's need to separate from her as their own natural and healthy urge for independence, and not the result of her shortcomings.
Our good points may seem undesirable to others, but that's not our fault. Sometimes, too much of a good thing can be inappropriate, but that doesn't make it bad.
What's right with me today?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
I loafe and invite my soul, I lean and loafe at my ease observing a spear of summer grass. --Walt Whitman
How foreign the thought is to many men that we might make progress by loafing. Yet we probably have experienced it. We have felt more in tune with ourselves after taking a break. After an especially relaxing weekend we feel more alive or clearer about ourselves. At those times we have invited our soul and have been rejuvenated.
Centuries of spiritual practice from different ideologies have taught the need for quiet relaxation in some form to invite the soul. Some have practiced a Sabbath day each week, others a time of prayer every day - even several times a day - others have practiced a daily period of deep meditation. Simply a period of loafing, with no particular goal in mind, may invite conscious contact with our Higher Power.
I pray for the ability to set aside my busy pace of life, my worrying and fretting, my "take charge" attitude for a period of time today.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
The problem is not merely one of woman and career, woman and the home, woman and independence. It is more basically: how to remain whole in the midst of the distractions of life; how to remain balanced, no matter what centrifugal forces tend to pull one off center; how to remain strong, no matter what shocks come in at the periphery and tend to crack the hub of the wheel. --Anne Morrow Lindbergh
Before getting into this recovery program, many of us didn't cope with life's distractions except with the help of our addiction. We had no sense of wholeness and were constantly bouncing from one crisis to another. We may still feel pulled. The crises may still trip us up. But we have a center now that we are beginning to understand and rely upon. That center is our spiritual selves.
Slowing down, going within to our center, listening to the message therein, unravels our problem, smooths the waves of the storm. The strength to go forward awaits us.
We can absorb the shocks that "crack the hub of the wheel" and be enriched by them. Each moment we are weaving our tapestry of life. Each experience colors our design. Our pain and sorrow and joy give the depth that one-day will move us to say, "I see, I understand."
I will be grateful for the experiences today that give my tapestry its beauty.


You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
Love, in Words and Actions
Many of us have confused notions about what it means to be loved and cared about.
Many of us were loved and cared for by people who had discrepancies between what they said and did.
We may have had a mother or father who said, "I love you" to us, and then abandoned or neglected us, giving us confused ideas about love. Thus that pattern feels like love - the only love we knew.
Some of us may have been cared for by people who provided for our needs and said they loved us, but simultaneously abused or mistreated us. That, then, becomes our idea of love.
Some of us many have lived in emotionally sterile environments, where people said they loved us, but no feelings or nurturing were available. That may have become our idea of love.
We may learn to love others or ourselves the way we have been loved, or we may let others love us the way we have been loved, whether or not that feels good. It's time to let our needs be met in ways that actually work. Unhealthy love may meet some surface needs, but not our need to be loved.
We can come to expect congruency in behavior from others. We can diminish the impact of words alone and insist that behavior and words match.
We can find the courage, when appropriate, to confront discrepancies in words and actions - not to shame, blame, or find fault, but to help us stay in touch with reality and with our needs.
We can give and receive love where behavior matches one's words. We deserve to receive and give the best that love has to offer.
Today, I will be open to giving and receiving the healthiest love possible. I will watch for discrepancies between words and behaviors that confuse me and make me feel crazy. When that happens, I will understand that I am not crazy; I am in the midst of a discrepancy.


God gives me all the answers I need at the right time. Today I trust that it is okay not to know everything and that I will know when the time is right. --Ruth Fishel

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Journey To The Heart

Put Yourself on Equal Ground

I sat in the booth across from my friend. I was fiddling with an empty soda can in front of me while we discussed the subject of power. Suddenly he snatched the can away from me and began tossing it in the air, catching it, then tossing it up again. “See how easy it is to take your power?” he said. “See how you just gave it to me?”

I watched, amazed at how quickly I had relinquished my power, how vulnerable I was to the world around me.

Then my friend smiled and stopped juggling the can. “Relax,” he said. “It’s an illusion. That’s not really your power– it’s an empty can. And it’s an illusion that anyone can take your power away from you.”

Each of us has an unlimited supply of power available– the power to think, to feel, to take care of ourselves. The power to open our hearts, love, be gentle, honest, and kind. We each have the power to be clear and to trust and follow the guidance of our own hearts.

Part of our journey to freedom, an important part, is equalizing our relationships. For many years, we may have believed the scales were tipped one way or the other in our work and love relationships. We may have believed that others knew a great deal more than we did, or we may have begun to believe that we had all the answers. But no one has our power. That’s an illusion. So much so that sometimes the person we believe is more powerful than us may be looking at us thinking we’re the ones pulling the strings.

Remember, if you give up your power or decide that someone has power over you, you’ll begin grousing, sabotaging, and doing sneaky little things to equalize that relationship, to feel like you have your power. There’s another way, a better way, one that will help you heal.

Put yourself on equal ground.

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More Language Of Letting Go

Relief is around the bend

I needed to go into the city for errands. It was a chilly morning at the beach, not even 70 degrees. I put on my jacket, got in the car, and headed out. I made the turn onto the canyon road and was struck by the beauty of the fog burning off, playing peekaboo with the canyon walls. It was 94 and sunny when I arrived in town.

I ran my errands and stopped at In and Out Burger for lunch. When I got back in the car, the thermometer read 102. It was hot. Traffic was bad, the temperature reached 106 on the freeway, and even the air conditioning didn’t help much.

Finally, I turned back onto the canyon road. The grass was brown and I worried about wildfires– they get so bad here. Soon, I noticed the temperature was down to 94 again, then 90, then 88. The hills turned green. I rounded a corner and could see the Pacific Ocean. The temp was 82. By the time I made it home it was back to 74.

I was surprised at the big difference a few miles made.

Sometimes, a small change can impact the way we’re feeling– a lot. Feeling overwhelmed or pressured? Do something else for a while. Give yourself a treat. Sometimes, the smallest change in our routine can do wonders to change the temperature in our lives.

God, help me see any changes I can make that will have a positive effect on my energy and on the way I feel.

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Food for Thought

The Narrow Path

Abstinence is the narrow path that leads out of the swamp of compulsive overeating. If we allow ourselves to deviate from the path, we immediately put ourselves on slippery ground and run the risk of falling into a bog of quicksand.

The longer we maintain firm abstinence, the more sure our steps become as we walk away from the crippling effects of our disease. It is so much easier to stay on the narrow path than to slip off and have to find it again. Without abstinence, we compulsive overeaters are lost.

If abstinence is not the most important thing in our lives, then food becomes our number one priority, and we gradually destroy ourselves.

Guide my steps, I pray, on the narrow path of abstinence.

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Becoming Whole Again
The Process of Grieving

by Madisyn Taylor

Grief can arise from many life situations, but know it is not a permanent state of being.


When we experience any kind of devastating loss, whether it is the loss of a loved one, a dream, or a relationship, feelings may arise within us that are overwhelming or difficult to cope with. This sense of grief can also come up when we are separated from anyone or anything we have welcomed into our lives. And while it may feel like we are caught up in a never-ending spiral of sadness and emptiness, it is important to remember that the grief we are feeling is not a permanent state of being. Rather, grief is part of the process of letting go that in many ways can be a gift, allowing us to go deeper within ourselves to rediscover the light amidst the seeming darkness.

The emotions that accompany any kind of loss can be intense and varied. A sense of shock or denial is often the first reaction, to be replaced by anger. Sometimes this anger can be directed at your loved one for “abandoning” you; at other times you may feel outrage toward the universe for what you are enduring. And while there are stages of grief that people go through – moving from denial to anger to bargaining to depression to acceptance – the cycles of grief often move in spirals, sometimes circling forward and then back again. You may even experience moments of strength, faith, and laughter in between. While these emotions seem to come and go sporadically, it is important to feel them, accept them, and allow them to flow. With time, patience, and compassion, you will eventually find your center again.

As we move through our grief, we may find ourselves reluctant to release our pain, fearing we are letting go of who or what we have lost. We may even regard our movement toward healing as an act of disloyalty or giving up. Know that while the hurt may fade, the essence of what you had and who you loved will have already transformed you and forever stay with you. If anything, once you are ready for the pain of your loss to subside, their memories can then live more fully within you. Remember, that healing is a part of the spiraling cycles of grief, and that in letting yourself feel restored again, you are surrendering to a natural movement that is part of the dance of life. Published with permission from Daily OM

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A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

For my own good, I’ll go to meetings and participate in discussions with an open mind that’s ready to receive and accept new ideas. For my own peace and comfort, I’ll determinedly try to apply those new ideas to my own life. I’ll remember that The Program offers me the instruction and support I can’t find elsewhere. I’ll seek out others who understand my problems, and I’ll accept their guidance in matters which cause me discomfort and confusion. Will I try to be willing to listen — and to share?

Today I Pray

Thank you, God, for bringing The Program into my life, and with it a better understanding of Divine Power. Help me to remember that attendance and attentiveness at meetings are all-important to continuing in this happily-discovered way of life. May I listen and share with honesty, open-mindedness and willingness.

Today I Will Remember

Her’s HOW; honesty, open-mindedness, willingness.

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One More Day

A thing of beauty is a joy forever: Its loveliness increases; it will never Pass into nothingness.
– John Keats

We know a work of fine art can only increase in value. As the years pass by, art develops character lines which further define and highlight its beauty.

We wonder about people. There is grace which comes with age, we know, but how can people last forever? The answer, of course, is what do not. But all that we comprise and create — the love, the caring, the storytelling, the things we make with our hands — will endure forever. Just as enduring, and perhaps even more value, is the respect we give to our family and traditions. These and other family heirlooms are our assurance that no one or no thing passes into nothingness.

I am comforted by the traditions of family and faith and by the meaningfulness they add to my life.

[bluidkiti]

July 18

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
The great end of life is not knowledge but action. --Thomas Huxley
Sometimes we have good ideas about how to make things better. We might know we need to spend more quality time with others. We might know it would be better if mealtime was not so hectic and really became a time for sharing the day's events. Knowing what needs to happen is part of the process of change. But we have to put that knowledge into action.
All our good intentions, no matter what they may be, do not really mean anything until we move into action. A hug is better than a thought of love; a story read together is better than a wonderful vacation that did not get past the planning stage, just as a finished house is something we can live in, while the blueprint is soon forgotten. When we act on our ideas, we put ourselves into the world as a force for change.
What change can I set loose in the world today?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
How should one live? Live welcoming to all. --Mechtild of Magdeburg
Welcoming is a spiritual practice we met when we came to this program. We may recall our first meetings and how welcome we felt in this group of fellow sufferers. It gave us hope when we felt desperate and continues to provide us with a nourishing place to grow.
To be welcoming means to accept others as they are, without passing judgment on their worth. It means to encourage them when they are despairing and to accept that they have a rightful place in our world. Welcoming is being generous with our resources. We do not have to feel close to someone to be welcoming. We can welcome a stranger. As we practice this attitude toward others, regardless of their status in life, regardless of their good or bad actions, we are changed inside. We learn from the people we welcome, and we are reminded that in the sight of God we are all loved as equals.
Today, 1 will practice a welcoming attitude toward everyone I meet.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
Have the courage to act instead of react. --Darlene Larson Jenks
Taking the time to be thoughtful about our responses to the situations we encounter offers us the freedom to make choices that are right for us. Impulsive behavior can be a thing of our past, if we so choose. It seldom was the best response for our well being.
Decision-making is morale boosting. It offers us a chance to exercise our personal powers, an exercise that is mandatory for the healthy development of our egos. We need to make careful, thoughtful choices because they will further define our characters. Each action we take clearly indicates the persons we are becoming. When we have consciously and deliberately chosen that action because of its rightness for us, we are fully in command of becoming the persons we choose to be.
Our actions reveal who we are, to others and ourselves. We need never convey an inaccurate picture of ourselves. We need only take the time and risk the courage necessary to behave exactly as we choose. We will know a new freedom when we are in control.
I will exercise my power to act and feel the fullness of my being.


You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
Time to Get Angry
It's about time you got angry - yes, that angry.
Anger can be such a potent, frightening emotion. It can also be a feeling that guides us to important decisions, sometimes decisions difficult to make. It can signal other people's problems, our problems, or simply problems we need to address.
We deny our anger for a variety of reasons. We don't give ourselves permission to allow it to come into our awareness - at first. Understand that it does not go away; it sits in layers under the surface, waiting for us to become ready, safe, and strong enough to deal with it.
What we may do instead of facing our anger and what it is telling us about self-care, is feel hurt, victimized, trapped, guilty, and uncertain about how to take care of ourselves. We may withdraw, deny, make excuses, and hide our heads in the sand - for a while.
We may punish, get even, whine, and wonder.
We may repeatedly forgive the other person for behaviors that hurt us. We may be afraid that someone will go away if we deal with our anger toward him or her. We may be afraid we will need to go away, if we deal with our anger.
We may simply be afraid of our anger and the potency of it. We may not know we have a right, even a responsibility - to ourselves - to allow ourselves to feel and learn from our anger.
God, help my hidden or repressed angry feelings to surface. Help me have the courage to face them. Help me understand how I need to take care of myself with the people I feel anger toward. Help me stop telling myself something is wrong with me when people victimize me and I feel angry about the victimization. I can trust my feelings to signal problems that need my attention.


Fears sometimes still lingers in my mind. I can be okay when that happens. I can feel them through and talk about them and go on in spite of them, not letting myself picture the worst, but seeing the results in a positive light. --Ruth Fishel

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Journey To The Heart

Find the Humor in It

I called home from me trip to talk to my friend. He was taking care of Max, my African Grey parrot, while I went on this journey. How’s Max?” I asked. “Is she doing okay?”

“Well,” he said, “she’s a little confused. I’ve got her outside on the patio. She says hi to all the sea gulls that come by and she can’t figure out why they won’t talk back to her.”

My parrot makes me smile. My friend makes me laugh. I have many friends that make me smile. Together, we laugh a lot. Learning to laugh, learning to find humor either in what we’re going through, or despite it, it is a powerful tool on this journey.

Cherish the gift of humor. Life doesn’t need to be so gloomy. Spirituality doesn’t need to be so serious and somber. Work doesn’t need to be that way either. Learn to see the humor in life. Look for it. Find it. Enjoy it. Surround yourself with people who like to laugh. Being around people who laugh can open us to the power of humor in our own lives. Laughter can become contagious. There is something magnetic, something healing about being around people who let themselves laugh often.

There is no situation in life that can’t be improved by laughter. Sometimes humor can help us get through situations we couldn’t possibly endure without it. Sometimes laughter isn’t superfluous, it’s essential.

Sometimes laughter is the next lesson we need to be learning.

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More Language Of Letting Go

It’s our lesson

When you learn your lessons, the pain goes away.
–Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, The Wheel of Life

Sometimes, we wait and wait for a painful situation to end. When will he stop drinking? When will she call? When will this financial stuff get better? When will I know what to do next?

Life has its own timeline. As soon as we get the lesson, the pain neutralizes, then disappears.

And the lesson is always ours.

Examine your life. Are you waiting for someone or something outside of you to happen to make you feel better? Are you waiting for someone to learn his or her lesson for your pain to stop? If you are, try turning inward. See what the lesson really is.

God, please show me what I’m supposed to be learning right now.

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In God’s Care

Imagination has always had powers of resurrection that no science can match.
~~Ingrid Bengis

Our ability to create an image of ourselves – successfully handling a conflict with a friend or stranger; growing in confidence regarding our role as parent, worker, or friend; communicating frequently with our Higher Power – is a tool that can enhance our sense of well-being throughout every moment of the twenty-four hours that lie ahead.

How lucky we are to have the ability to think what we want to think and to visualize situations that will bring us pleasure. God is in control of the outcomes of our life, but we’re in control of our contributions towad those outcomes. And one way we contribute most productively is by thinking positively and imagining ourselves fulfilled and content through our acts of love toward others.

My Higher Power and I are in partnership in the outcomes of my life.

I know how to fulfill my part, and I can trust God to fulfill God’s part.

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Day By Day

Practicing sanity

When we were getting high all the time, we were practicing insanity. It was a lot of fun. We got so good at it, however, that we couldn’t see how serious it had become. Whether we’re straight or high, insanity seemed to take over.

Now we can practice sanity daily. Practicing anything will eventually make us pretty good at it. With the grace of God, we can get pretty good at sanity too.

Am I letting go of my insane behavior?

Higher Power, help me face the fears of sane living, fears I tried to hide from with addiction.

Today I will reflect on my unresolved problem behaviors by…

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Food for Thought

Don’t Jump

When we have achieved a significant period of abstinence from compulsive overeating, it is as though we have slowly climbed many flights of stairs all the way up to the top floor of a skyscraper. Telling ourselves that we will make a small exception and break abstinence just one time is like saying we will jump out a window on the top floor of the skyscraper and fall down only as far as the next floor.

The nature of our disease is such that one small compulsive bite inevitably leads to eventual disaster. We may be able to postpone the binge for a day or a week or even longer, but once we give up our control, we put ourselves in a pattern of downward descent.

All we need do in order to stay on the top floor of the skyscraper is to maintain our abstinence. A small price to pay for such a magnificent view!

Protect me from a fatal jump.

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Grounding Ourselves
Being a Strong Container

by Madisyn Taylor

As a human being living on earth it is important to learn to ground yourself in relation to your earth mother.


We often hear people telling us to ground ourselves, but we may not be sure what that means and how we might do it. Grounding ourselves is a way of bringing ourselves literally back to earth. Some of us are more prone than others to essentially leaving our bodies and not being firmly rooted in our bodies. There’s nothing terribly wrong with this, but while we are living on the earth plane it is best to stay grounded in the body.

One of the easiest ways to ground ourselves is to bring our attention to our breath as it enters and leaves our bodies. After about 10 breaths, we will probably find that we feel much more connected to our physical selves. We might then bring our awareness to the sensations in our bodies, moving from our head down to our feet, exploring and inquiring. Just a few minutes of this can bring us home to bodies and to the earth, and this is what it means to ground ourselves.

We can go further by imagining that we have roots growing out of the bottoms of our feet, connecting us to the earth. The roots flow with us so we can we always move, but at the same time they keep us grounded. We receive powerful energy from the earth just as we do from the forms of energy we associate with the sky, and our body is a tool that brings these two energies together in a sacred union. When we are grounded, we essentially become a strong container in which our spirits can safely and productively dwell. This is why grounding ourselves every day, especially at the beginning of the day, is such a beneficial practice. Fortunately, it’s as simple as bringing our conscious awareness to our bodies and the earth on which we walk. Published with permission from Daily OM

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A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

Very few of us know what we really want, and none of us knows what is best for us. That knowledge is in the hands of God. This is a fact I must ultimately accept, in spite of my rebelliousness and stubborn resistance. From this day forward, I’ll limit my prayers to request for guidance, and open mind to receive it, and the strength to act upon it. To the best of my capability, I’ll defer all decisions until my contact with my Higher Power has made is seemingly apparent that the decisions are right for me. Do I “bargain” with my Higher Power, assuming that I know what’s best for me?

Today I Pray

May I not try to make pacts with God. Instead, may I be a vessel, open to whatever inspiration He wishes to put into me. I pray that I will remember that God’s decisions are better for me than my own fumbling plans, and that they w8ill come to me at the times I need them.

Today I Will Remember

I will not bargain with God.

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One More Day

Who controls the past controls the future; who controls the present controls the past.
– George Orwell

We planned on being healthy, on always being healthy, so our adjustment to less than optimal health can be quite difficult. Until we get our priorities back in gear, it can seem as though the scales are just not tipping in our favor.

Life can feel overwhelming when we foresee no apparent reprieve form our pain and inconvenience. It takes a while sometimes to learn to lviee with a health problem, but we can do it. With time we gain insight. Our lives are in our control once again.

We are responsible for ourselves, although sometimes we may forget that fact. Once we get a firm hold on our emotions, on our new set of problems, we understand that we still make the decisions for ourselves.

I can make positive decisions that alter the path of my life.

[bluidkiti]

July 19

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
Trust takes time. If you don't invest it, then you don't get it. --Anonymous
Trusting other human beings is like planting a garden. First we must choose where to plant--is the soil healthy, is it open to sunlight? We would not plant seeds on rocks that are hard and un-giving. In the same way, we need to choose friends who are trustworthy, who are like rich soil open to planting and sunlight.
Then we need to plant the seeds of time and care. If we share some of our feelings and are welcomed, we will know it is safe to share more. We can share ourselves in our own time--even a garden grows slowly, and can take only so much sun and rain in one day.
Having trust in someone feeds the spirit. Trust also gives us the courage to be beautiful, like the flowers of our gardens.
Am I brave enough to trust others, and to be worthy of their trust?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
They have rights who dare defend them. --Roger Baldwin
There is a hard side to emotional health and manhood. As we grow, we gain many more sides, more ways of responding to the situations we meet. We learn that yielding to God sometimes means letting our full strength flow to defend our rights and ward off intrusion or disrespect. As we have become more loving and tolerant, we have become more assertive for our rights and those of others.
We must speak up for ourselves and for our points of view. We must not let others demean us or put us down, nor can we take on blame for others' life problems. When we ought to stand up for ourselves and don't, we may be invaded by a false feeling that we are crazy or bad. As recovering men, we sometimes must call on our hard side and say, "No! I will not be a doormat for the harmful actions of others. I will defend my rights."
I will cultivate my relationship with my Higher Power and let that lead me to stand up for myself.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
At fifteen life had taught me undeniably that surrender, in its place, was as honorable as resistance, especially if one had no choice. --Maya Angelou
We had to surrender to a power greater than ourselves to get to where we are today. And each day, we have to turn to that power for strength and guidance. For us, resistance means struggle--struggle with others as well as an internal struggle.
Serenity isn't compatible with struggle. We cannot control forces outside of ourselves. We cannot control the actions of our family or our co-workers. We can control our responses to them. And when we choose to surrender our attempts to control, we will find peace and serenity.
That which we abhor, that which we fear, that which we wish to conquer seems suddenly to be gone when we decide to resist no more - to tackle it no more.
The realities of life come to us in mysterious ways. We fight so hard, only to learn that what we need will never be ours until the struggle is forsaken. Surrender brings enlightenment.
Life's lessons are simple once I give up the struggle.


You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
Proving It to Ourselves
I spent a year trying to prove to my husband how much his drinking was hurting me. When I began to recover, I realized I was the one who needed to realize how much his drinking was hurting me. --Anonymous
I spent months trying to prove to a man I was dating how responsible and healthy I was. Then I realized what I was doing. He didn't need to realize how responsible and healthy I was. I did. --Anonymous
Trying to prove how good we are, trying to prove we're good enough, trying to show someone how much he or she has hurt us, trying to show someone we're understanding, are warning signs that we may be into our self defeating behaviors.
They can be an indication that we are trying to control someone. They can be an indication that we do not believe how good we are, that we're good enough, that someone is hurting us.
They can be a warning that we've allowed ourselves to get hooked into a dysfunctional system. They may indicate that we're stuck in the cloudy fog of denial or doing something that is not good for us.
Trying excessively to make a point with another may mean that we have not yet made that point with ourselves. Once we make that point with ourselves, once we understand, we will know what to do.
The issue is not about others understanding and taking us seriously. The issue is not about others believing we're good and good enough. The issue is not about others seeing and believing how responsible or loving or competent we are. The issue is not about whether others realize how deeply we are feeling a particular feeling. We are the ones that need to see the light.
Today, God, help me let go of my need to control outcomes by influencing the beliefs of others. I will concentrate on accepting myself, rather than trying to prove something about myself. If I catch myself in the codependent trap of trying to emphasize something about myself to another, I will ask myself if I need to convince myself at that point.


Today I have faith that I am being led to the answers I need to learn. If I keep putting one foot in front of the other, I will always be in a safe place. --Ruth Fishel

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Journey To The Heart

The Lessons Are Love

Lessons of love, that’s what they are.

We usually don’t know what the lesson is while we’re learning it. Maybe we’re not supposed to. Besides, if we knew it, really knew it, we wouldn’t need to learn it. We’d already be practicing it in our daily lives. But even when we don’t know what the lesson is, we can know one thing, it’s a lesson of love.

Courage. Faith. Patience. Loving ourselves when it looks and feels like nobody else cares. Starting over again one more time, when we think we’ve already started over again more times than we should have had to. Forgiveness. Compassion. Gentleness. Joy. Each one is a lesson of love.

For many of us, the problem isn’t that we haven’t had love in our lives before. The issue is that we haven’t understood love. Know this: not only are the lessons about love, the lessons themselves are love.

Feel your feelings. Struggle through your situations and experiences and emotions. The struggle to learn isn’t incidental to your purpose. It’s an integral part of your purpose, your destiny, your reason for being. Go through your moments of darkness and confusion,and trust that light will come. Through it all, rest in one thought: you’re on track. You’re on your path.

You’re connected to love. You’re connected to God. And the lessons you’re learning are lessons of love.

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More Language Of Letting Go

Watch your “never’s”

Be careful what you say you’ll never do again. You might be building a wall between you and the good in your life.

He hurt me, so I’m never going to speak to him again. She hurt me, so I’m never going to get involved with women again.

Sometimes, our hurt feelings can be accurate and reliable warnings that we need to back off and stay away. But usually when we say never, it’s because we don’t want to be vulnerable and feel the hurt that came our way.

Saying never may be an indication that we’ve closed our hearts.

Have you built a wall with your “never’s”? Look. Peek underneath. Is there a feeling of hurt you need to feel, instead?

You got burned when you touched the hot stove, so you’re never going to go near a stove again? You’ll miss out on some tasty meals.

God, help me be vulnerable enough to feel my pein and learn my lesson, instead of saying never and building a big wall.

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In God’s Care

We are what we are.
~~Motto of Lake Wobegon, Garrison Keillor

Sometimes we devote so much effort to being what we are not, that we lose the chance to be what we are. We have one identity for this person and another for that one. Our co-workers, neighbors, friends, family – all expect different things of us, leaving us wondering who we actually are. How can we be so many different things to so many people?

God wants us to be only who we are, We were created with unique characteristics for a purpose, even if that purpose isn’t always clear to us. We need to be who we really are, and to be the best we can be, knowing that God approves because God created us as we are.

I will be the best me that I know how to be.

************************************************** **************

Day By Day

Taking just one

It’s that first fix, pill, or drink that gets us high. It’s not the second or third or fourth one, or the second day or the second week of using that gets us into trouble. It is the first one. And until we understand this concept, we will keep trying-without success-to gain control over our drug use.

For us, control no longer exists. And it never will. When we start thinking, Well, just one won’t hurt me, we are on our way back to that same pain and discouragement of a drug-filled life.

Do I believe that even one is too many?

Higher Power, please help me remember that I can never regain control over my drug use.

I will avoid taking that first drink or drug today by…

************************************************** **************

Food for Thought

Right Makes Might

When we are working our program properly, we have an inner sense of rightness that makes us strong and self-confident. We are controlling food, rather than being controlled by it. We are willing to let our Higher Power straighten out our confused lives.

Action is necessary. We need to “walk the walk” as well as “talk the talk.” No amount of insight will give us progress unless we are willing to take the concrete steps outlined in the OA program. We need to work closely with qualified sponsors who can guide us in our abstinence and in our program.

Compulsive overeating made us weak physically, emotionally, and spiritually. As we abstain, we gain strength on all three levels.

Thank You for the strength that comes from doing the right thing.

************************************************** **************

Go for It
Making It Happen

by Madisyn Taylor

The universe is fully supportive of what you want, but it is up to you to go for it.


There are times in our lives when all the signs seem to be pointing us in a particular direction. Our thoughts and dreams are echoed in the songs and stories we hear and the media we see. Maybe the message we are getting from the universe doesn’t even make sense in the “real” world, but somewhere inside, these urges feel right. Maybe you feel you are being told to move to a new city although your life where you are is just fine. Or maybe you feel the desire to pursue a new direction in your career when it never really interested you before. When we spend time getting in touch with our higher selves, our intuition sends us directives to lead us to become our best and most fulfilled selves. And when we are open and listening, the next step is to take action and go for it.

Once we make the decision to pursue our inner urgings, the universe sets into motion the means for all sorts of details to fall into place. A sense of peace will come over us, because we know that any questions will no longer make us wonder if our dreams are possible, but how to make them happen. Instead of deterring us from our goal, these questions only serve to clarify our focus to move us forward. We need not throw caution to the wind to follow our dream. The positive shift in our energy affects everything around us. Like a rush of water, it goes ahead to clear debris from our path so that we can go forward. Our new attitude also attracts likeminded people. Sometimes even the most unlikely angels arrive to help us along our way with the information and support we need.

Wherever your dreams are pointing you today, take a step. Take action and manifest your inner urges and soul whisperings. Published with permission from Daily OM

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A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

Many of us come to The Program professing that we’re agnostic or atheistic. As someone once put it, our will to disbelieve is so strong that we prefer a date with the undertaker to an experimental and open-minded search for a Higher Power. Fortunately for those of us with closed minds, the constructive forces in The Program almost always overcome our obstinacy. Before long, we discover the bountiful world of faith and trust. It was there all along, but we lacked the willingness and open-mindedness to accept it. Does obstinacy still sometimes blind me to the power for good that resides in faith?

Today I Pray

I want to thank God for this opportunity to open my mind; to learn again about faith and trust; to realize that my wanderings did not change His place within me or His loving concern for me. May I know that it was my own doing that I lost faith. Thank God for another chance to believe.

Today I Will Remember

Discard the will to disbelieve.

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One More Day

Our faith comes in moments; our vice is habitual.
– Ralph Waldo Emerson

Some habits are not good for us, yet we can fall into them so easily. “Just one more drink,” we rationalize, “It won’t hurt me. I don’t have to go to work tomorrow,” “Just a small piece of cake, I’ll start my diet tomorrow,” We may not realize that we are acting in a pattern. Being human, we continue in this way until something happens which forces us to change our patterns and ourselves.

Whatever that something is, it may prompt many actions, one of which may be to turn to our faith for solace. many things in our lives are uncertain. There is uncertainty as to how our day will be. It is our faith that keeps us going regardless of any setbacks. The moments of darkness we all fall into can be overcome by faith.

I can believe and trust in my Higher Power no matter what is happening in my life now.

[bluidkiti]

July 20


You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
It is terribly amusing how many different climates of feeling one can go through in a day. --Anne Morrow Lindbergh
When we travel by canoe down a river we can notice the changes that take place. In one spot the river is wide and the water moves slowly. Around the next bend the river narrows and the current speeds up. Ahead of us we see rapids waiting to test our skill.
Our feelings can also change as quickly as the river. We may have times in our day when we feel good about ourselves. Then, all of a sudden, someone may tease us about something. We begin to feel like the scared canoeist shooting the rapids for the first time. How wonderful it is to know that we are never given a test we can't handle, that everything that happens in our lives is for the sake of our growth, and that we are watched over at all times by God.
How can I use today's obstacles for my own growth?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
Without solitude there can be no real people.... The measure of your solitude is the measure of your capacity/or communion.
--John Eudes
If we listen in those moments when we hear a message from ourselves, we become true men - real human beings. The message comes in our solitude, when our defenses against truth are set aside. It comes popping out without our planning it. Our solitude is a relationship with ourselves, and it might occur in silent meditation, or driving down the street, or during a dinner conversation. The message might be a painful truth like, "You just acted like a small child," or a frightening fact like, "You are deeply loved by another person."
Letting another person know what messages we are getting in solitude helps us deal with the messages. As we accept our imperfections and make peace with ourselves, we increase our sense of solitude. We become real men, full partners in relationships and in our communities.
Today, I will welcome solitude. When the messages from myself are painful or frightening, I will be gentle with myself.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
It is ironic that the one thing that all religions recognize as separating us from our Creator--our very self-consciousness--is also the one thing that divides us from our fellow creatures. --Annie Dillard
Getting outside of ourselves, moving beyond our own egos, opens the door to real communication with the people we'll meet today. We have to learn to look with loving appreciation into the soul of that person or child who stands before us. We have to practice being concerned with their needs before our own, and in time our concern will be genuine. The separation between us will exist no more.
This division from others, the barrier that keeps us apart, comes from our individual insecurities. We have grown accustomed to the quick comparisons of ourselves with those we meet. Either inferior or superior we determine them to be, and thus ourselves. Whatever gifts we have to offer each other are left unwrapped, at least for now.
Let's come together, truly together, with someone we've been holding off until now. We can trust that the people who have come into our lives are there by design. We are equal to them, and they to us. We need what they have to offer us, and their growth needs our gifts, too.
I will appreciate the design of my life today. I will draw myself close to the day.


You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
Letting Go of Resistance
Do not be in such a hurry to move on.
Relax. Breathe deeply. Be. Be in harmony today.
Be open. There is beauty around and in us today. There is purpose and meaning in today.
There is importance in today - not so much in what happens to us, but in how we respond.
Let today happen. We learn our lessons, we work things out, we change in a simple fashion: by living our life fully today.
Do not worry about tomorrow's feelings, problems, or gifts. Do not worry about whether we can trust life, our Higher Power, or ourselves tomorrow.
Everything we need today shall be given to us. That is a promise - from God, from the Universe.
Feel today's feelings. Solve today's problems. Enjoy today's gifts. Trust yourself, life, and your Higher Power today.
Acquire the art of living fully today. Absorb the lessons, the healing, the beauty, the love available to us today.
Do not be in such a rush to move on. There is no hurry. We cannot escape; ;we only postpone. Let the feelings go; breathe in peace and healing.
Do not be in such a hurry to move on.
Today, I will not run from my circumstances, my feelings, or myself. I will be open to others, Higher Power, my life, and myself. I will trust that by facing today to the best of my ability, I will acquire the skills I need to face tomorrow.


Today I am reaching out to those who love and support me. I am letting go of my ego and self-centeredness so that I can make space to take in love and support and ideas from others. --Ruth Fishel

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Journey To The Heart

Value Your Connection to Creativity

For years, I had been storing my son’s clothing, some of his favorite articles, in boxes in the garage. I didn’t want to let go of the clothes, yet I had no use for them. One day an idea came. I was talking to a woman enthralled with quilting, with fabrics, textures, and the art of creating quilts. She was talking about how she was making a quilt out of her family’s old blue jeans, because it created a use for the fabric and gave them a blanket that held the energy and memory of their experiences. It wasn’t just a quilt. It became a special comfort quilt because of the energy the fabrics held.

That’s when the idea came. My son had died years ago. His physical presence was no longer here. But the clothes held the memories of his physical presence and the energy of his spiritual presence. I could make them into a quilt, one that would cherish his memory and give me comfort.

How do we get our ideas? From other people. From certain triggers in the world, the universe. From our imagination. We are connected to creativity. It’s a force in the universe, an energy that runs through us. If we’re connected to ourselves, our intuition will guide us to what to do and when to do it. If we love ourselves enough to act confidently and joyfully on that guidance.

Value your connection with creativity. Embrace your imagination. The universe will show you how, teach you how, help you along the way.

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More Language Of Letting Go

Take down those walls

Frank was a happily married man, or so he thought. Then one day, his wife of ten years came home and told him that she didn’t feel like being married anymore. “I love you. I’m just not in love with you,” she said, walking out the door.

Frank was devastated. He got mad at his wife, mad at his church, and mad at God. He got mad, and he stayed that way. He fumed and generalized. He decided that all women must be this way and sooner or later anyone who got too close would hurt him.

Many of us experience hurt in life. It comes with the game.

It’s okay to hurt, to be angry, even to be bitter for a while. But no one is interested in hearing our lost love story ten years after it happened.

We even get sick of hearing it, ourselves.

Sometimes it’s time to nurture our pain. Sometimes it’s time to get over it and get back in the game.

We all fall. Most people change their minds. We all make mistakes.

We don’t have to let a bad experience in life prevent us from having positive experiences in the future. Walls are indiscriminate. While they may protect us from being hurt again, they’ll also prevent us from experiencing joy.

God, help me let go of self-sabotaging attitudes formed in a moment of hurt. Open me to the beauty that awaits when I approach life with an open heart.

**************************************************

In God’s Care

The answer to personality problems is found in a quiet return to Godlike thinking.
~~Science of Mind, magazine

When we’re edgy and critical or perhaps feeling inadequate or depressed, we’ve lost our atonement with God. And when acting the way God would have us act is no longer our priority, our character defects once again emerge and, in time, grow ever more numerous.

We can make the simple decision to always check out our proposed behavior against the behavior we know is from God. When we remember to think of God first before proceeding, we avoid unnecessary conflicts; we refrain from consciously hurting anyone; we manage to take our experiences restfully, moment by moment.

There’s really no mystery to having a rewarding and peaceful life. Those we notice who do, have likely made a more frequent companion of God than we. The decision to work more on our own friendship with God is an easy one to make.

I will act according to God’s wishes today and in the process, strengthen our friendship.

************************************************** ***********

Day By Day

Making a decision

We made a decision, a decision to try this program because all else had failed. (We still doubted it would work, but we were desperate.) This decision was made mostly on hope and a belief. At first, it did not reflect belief in a Higher Power but belief in other people.

When we make a decision to do whatever is necessary, our belief can grow. It can grow to a point where no power on earth can shake our foundation. And from this foundation we can, in turn, offer hope to others in need. We can plant in them the same seeds of belief that made it possible for us to be clean and sober.

Is my belief growing?

Higher Power, help me stay strong in the program and help others who need to establish roots.

Today I will renew my commitment to the program and its members by

************************************************** **************

Food for Thought

Turning Toward the Light

Plants, as they grow, automatically turn toward the light. People can choose between light or darkness. The OA program is available to us, but we may choose whether or not we will follow it. Our Higher Power is also available to us, if we choose to seek His will.

Before we found OA, we wandered around in the darkness of compulsive overeating. Now that we see glimmers of light, we need to turn ourselves in the direction from which the light is coming. Working the program requires taking the time and effort to change our routine. The light is here, but we need to turn away from darkness and open ourselves to it.

As we examine ourselves in the light that comes from our Higher Power through OA, we begin to see more clearly where we should make changes and how we may find health and peace.

Grant us grace to turn toward Your light.

************************************************** **************

Changing Roles
As We Ebb and Flow through Life

by Madisyn Taylor

We all change throughout life trying new and different things, but the core of who we really are remains the same.


As we bob and weave with the ebb and flow of life our roles change, but our true self remains constant. As spiritual beings having a human experience, we go through many aspects of humanity in one lifetime. Living in the material world of opposites, labels, and classifications, we often identify ourselves by the roles we play, forgetting that these aspects shift and change throughout our lives. But when we anchor ourselves in the truth of our being, that core of spirit within us, we can choose to embrace the new roles as they come, knowing that they give us fresh perspective on life and a greater understanding of the lives of others.

As children, we anticipated role changes eagerly in our rush to grow up. Though fairy tales led us to believe that “happily ever after” was a final destination, the truth is that life is a series of destinations, mere stops on a long journey filled with differing terrain. We may need to move through a feeling of resistance as we shift from spouse to parent, leader to subordinate, caregiver to receiver, or even local to newcomer. It can be helpful to bid a fond farewell to the role that we are leaving before we welcome the new. This is the purpose of ceremonies in cultures throughout the world and across time. We can choose from any in existence or create our own to help us celebrate our life shifts and embrace our new adventures.

Like actors on the stage of the world, our different roles are just costumes that we inhabit and then shed. Each role we play gives us another perspective through which to understand ourselves and the nature of the universe. When we take a moment to see that each change can be an adventure, a celebration, and a chance to play a new part, we may even be able to recapture the joyful anticipation of our youth as we transition from one role to the next. Published with permission from Daily OM

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A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

“It is the privilege of wisdom to listen,” Oliver Wendell Holmes once wrote. If I try as hard as I can to cultivate the art of listening — uncritically and without making premature judgments — chances are great that I’ll progress more rapidly in my recovery. If I try as hard as I can to listen to the feelings and thoughts expressed — rather than to the “speaker” — I may be blessed with an unexpectedly helpful idea. The essential quality of good listening is humility, which reflects the fact that God’s voice speaks to us even through the least of most inarticulate of His children. Does a holier-than-thou attitude sometimes close my mind to the shared suggestions of others?

Today I Pray

May my Higher Power keep me from being “holier-than-thou” with anyone whose manner or language or opposite point of view or apparent lack of knowledge turns me off to what they are saying. May I be listening always for the voice of God, which can be heard through the speech of any one of us.

Today I Will Remember

Hear the speech, not the speaker.

**************************************************

One More Day

We should not let our fears hold us back from pursuing our hopes.
– John F. Kennedy

Regardless of our situation, we all need to hope. When we were young we were in a hurry all the time. Every problem needed a quick solution. And our anticipated futures were completely untarnished by adult viewpoints.

Sometimes, what we mislabel as a fear of dying might really be regret that we haven’t led a full enough life. We know now what is reasonable and what i snot. We understand where we are in our lives and accept that ideal situations may not come to pass. We have learned that we must come to terms with who we are and what we can do. We have learned that we are okay just as we are today.

I have come to terms with where I am in my life. My fears will not hold me back anymore.

[bluidkiti]

July 21

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
Dependency (on another human being) is the inability to experience wholeness or to function adequately without the certainty that one is being actively cared for by another. --M. Scott Peck
No matter what we may think, overdependence on another can be very unloving because it drains others of any chance for personal growth. Those of us who have been dependent on other people are so busy acquiring love that we ourselves have no energy left to truly give love. It's as if we're starving, and scrambling for every little bit of love we can find, with no thought to offering it to others. No wonder they often quickly get tired of us.
We can't force or expect others to do things with us, talk to us, or love us. The way to be surely loved is to be worthy of it. We can work at being worthy by exercising our freedom to feel and do things without others' permission, and to allow them the same opportunity.
What can I do on my own today?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
Some people regard themselves as perfect, but only because they demand little of themselves. --Hermann Hesse
Many of us men in this program have a struggle with perfectionism. This is a central spiritual issue. Sometimes we feel ashamed or frightened by our imperfections, or we strive so hard to overcome them that we successfully close our lives down to a very narrow, controllable scale. Spiritual awakening means we have zest for life and accept our imperfections.
We know today will be shaky and insecure in some ways. We probably will make some mistakes or offenses. Our solution is not our old behavior of attempting to control whatever happens; it is to join life with a spiritual feeling. We let go of ourselves, and what happens? We are part of a larger whole. We are not in control of the process of life, and whatever we do is part of an ongoing dialogue, so we will have another chance to respond, even to our own mistakes.
Today, I pray for liberation from my perfectionism so I can more fully engage in life's adventure.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
I wake each morning with the thrill of expectation and the joy of being truly alive. And I'm thankful for this day. --Angela L. Wozniak
Being open to the day's offering, all of it, and looking for the positive experiences therein, becomes habit only after a firm commitment and dedicated practice. Today is special for each of us.
These next twenty-four hours will be unlike all others. And we are not the persons we were, even as recently as yesterday. Looking forward to all of the day's events, with the knowledge that we are in the care of our higher power, in every detail, frees us to make the most of everything that happens.
We have been given the gift of life. We are survivors. The odds against survival in our past make clear we have yet a job to do and are being given the help to do it. Confidence wavers in all of us, but the strength we need will be given to each of us.
In this day that stands before me, I can be certain that I'll have many chances for growth, for kindness to others, for developing confidence in myself. I will be thoughtful in my actions today. They are special and will be repeated no more.


You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
Being Is Enough
We are not always clear about what we are experiencing, or why.
In the midst of grief, transition, transformation, learning, healing, or discipline - it's difficult to have perspective.
That's because we have not learned the lesson yet. We are in the midst of it. The gift of clarity has not yet arrived.
Our need to control can manifest itself as a need to know exactly what's going on. We cannot always know. Sometimes, we need to let ourselves be and trust that clarity will come later, in retrospect.
If we are confused, that is what we are supposed to be. The confusion is temporary. We shall see. The lesson, the purpose, shall reveal itself - in time, in its own time.
It will all make perfect sense - later.
Today, I will stop straining to know what I don't know, to see what I can't see, to understand what I don't yet understand. I will trust that being is sufficient, and let go of my need to figure things out.


Today I am open to everyone who is on my path, whether I know them or not. Somewhere there will be someone who needs my help and I want to be there for them. My Higher Power will tell me what needs to be done. --Ruth Fishel

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Journey To The Heart

Value Work

We need to value the simple tasks of life and the workwe do professionally to earn income, fulfill purpose, and bring our gifts to the world.

There are many tasks to be done in life– our personal responsibilities to others, our professional commitments, our responsibilities to ourselves. There is value and honor in work, in performing the tasks that make up our daily lives.

When we joyfully perform the tasks of life– whether we’re taking care of ourselves or fulfilling a commitment to another– we connect with the very rhythms and workings of life and the universe. Many important spiritual lessons are connected with work. It’s better not to use work as an escape, a way to avoid life. But work done with an attitude of honor, love, and joy can be a tool on our spiritual path.

Work can take us into the rhythm of life. Work can bring us back to service, back to our hearts, back to our souls. We don’t have to leave ourselves behind when we do the tasks of life. We can take all we’ve learned into our work, then learn more lessons from the tasks we do.

Remember to honor and value the work and the tasks that are yours to do– from the smallest to the grandest. Wash the dishes, fold the laundry, hold a buisness meeting, rake the yard. Each task is important.

Value work. Let it connect you to the rhythms of life.

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More Language Of Letting Go

Maybe it’s not supposed to feel good

Every night for months, Laurie went home from work, turned on her computer, and wrote and rewrote the same thing: I hate my job. I hate it, I hate it, I hate it.

For six weeks in a row, Jonathan complained daily to his friends about his roommate: I can’t stand him. He’s driving me nuts. I don’t like him.

For years, right before falling asleep at night, Mindy calculated the number of years she thought it would be until her husband died and she was free from her wedding vows: Just fifteen more years, then he’ll be gone and I can have a life.

None of these three people were going through what we call a “love-hate” relationship with their spouse, roommate, or job. All three were involved in hate-hate relationships. They all had one thing in common: they felt guilty for how they felt. Laurie kept trying to make herself like her job; Jonathan turned himself inside out trying to get along with his roommate; Mindy continued trying to be a better wife.

Be patient with yourself if you have moments and times of not liking someone or something, whether it’s your job, your roommate, your home, or your spouse. But if you’re consistently and blatantly not liking someone or someplace, maybe it’s time to move on.

Watch for patterns in your emotional responses to your life. If you’re consistently responding to something or someone in a particular way, entertain the possibility that that person, place, or thing might have outworn its usefulness in your life.

God, grant me the wisdom to discern when my feelings are urging me to move on. Help me let go of my guilt about how I’m feeling and find a path with heart.

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In God’s Care

The goal isn’t to do a successful inventory. The goal is to dig to the deepest levels of self-honesty.
~~Anonymous

The Fourth Sep is the hardest one for many newcomers in the program. It is so difficult, in fact, that some of us still waiting to do it are no longer newcomers.

It’s so hard to be honest with ourselves, that some of us never accomplish it. The consequences of this are a low sef-esteem, which draws us toward failure.

Help is available, though. God, who knows all about us, is willing to help us get honest with ourselves. We only need to ask. Until we become honest with ourselves, we can’t grow spiritually.

Today I pledge to be honest.

************************************************** ***************

Day By Day

Judging other addicts

As addicts we tend to judge each other in a cruel way; it can help us feel better about ourselves. For example, alcoholics look down on junkies, junkies look down on speed freaks, and everyone looks down on glue-sniffers. But what’s the difference?

We’re all in this together. We’re dealing with life-and-death matters. Making value judgments about the kind or severity of another’s addiction is a childish and dangerous game.

Have I stopped judging other addicts?

Higher Power, help me accept myself – and accept others – in all aspects of life.

I will acknowledge someone addicted to another chemical today by…

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Food for Thought

Following the Rules

When we were eating compulsively, we thought we could make up our own rules as we went along. We thought we were entitled to eat what we wanted when we wanted it. The result was chaos. We found that living according to self-will did not work.

Commitment to the OA program involves the willingness to accept a set of rules, which we did not make. Following the abstinence guidelines is what enables us to control our disease. When we ignore the discipline, which has worked for others and insist on doing it our way, our chances for recovery diminish.

The rules of abstinence – three measured meals a day with nothing in between, no binge foods, a definite plan, etc. – are the means to freedom. To rebel against them is to delay or prevent our liberation from compulsive overeating.

I pray for the honesty to follow the rules.

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Things We Can’t Control
Allow, Trust

We develop grace as we learn with the guiding hand of the universe, life will unfold exactly the way it should.


The idea of trusting the universe is a popular one these days, but many of us don’t know what this really means and we often have a hard time doing it. This is partly because the story of humankind is most often presented as a story about struggle, control, and survival, instead of one of trust and collaboration with the universe. Yet, in truth, we need to adhere to both ideas in this life.

On the one hand, there is much to be said about exerting control over our environment. We created shelter to protect ourselves from the elements. We hunted for animals and invented agriculture to feed ourselves. We built social infrastructures to protect ourselves and create community. This is how we survive and grow as a civilization. However, it is also clear that there are plenty of things that we cannot control, no matter how hard we try, and we often receive support from an unseen force – a universe that provides us with what we cannot provide for ourselves.

It is a good idea to take responsibility for the things in life that we can control or create. We work so we can feed, clothe, and shelter our loved ones and ourselves. We manifest our dreams and visions in physical form with hard work and forethought. But at a certain point, when we have done all that we can, we must let go and allow the universe to take over. This requires trust. It requires a trust that runs deeper than just expecting things to turn out the way we want them to. Sometimes they will, and sometimes they won’t. We develop equanimity and grace as we learn to trust that, with the guiding hand of the universe, life will unfold exactly the way it should. We are engaged in an ongoing relationship with a universe that responds to our thoughts and actions. Published with permission from Daily OM

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A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

When we’re faced with some condition or situation not to our liking, how can we have faith that all things are working together for good? Perhaps we have to ask ourselves just what is faith. Faith has its foundation in truth and love. We can have faith, if we so choose, no matter what the situation. And, if we so choose, we can expect ultimate good to come forth. Have I made my choice?

Today I Pray

May I be grateful for my God-given ability to make a choice. Out of this gratitud3e and my sense of the nearness of God, I have chosen faith. May the faith, as my chosen way, become strong enough to move mountains, strong enough to keep me free of my compulsion, mighty enough to hold back the tide of temptations which threaten me, optimistic enough to look past my present pain to ultimate good.

Today I Will Remember

With faith, nothing is impossible.

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One More Day

An hour of pain is a long as a day of pleasure.
– Proverb

When we look back at our lives, do the painful experiences come through first? We may remember the difficult times that led to the end of a relationship or losing a job. Life seemed at a standstill during those times, as we wondered whether we’d ever get close to another person, find another job, or feel confident again.

We probably learned much later that failures could be opportunities for growth. As we sift through our hardest memories, we can settle back into the happy once again, knowing we have learned and grown from our pain. And as our “hour” of pain comes to an end, we can see the large and small pleasures of today and remember those of yesterday.

I will not let pain obscure my joys and pleasures.

[bluidkiti]

July 22

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
A good laugh heals a lot of hurts. --Madeleine L'Engle
The ability to laugh at ourselves has always been important. In old days, fools and jesters held an important place in the royal courts. Today we have clowns who make us laugh.
If we look closely at a clown's face, we will often notice a bit of sadness around the eyes. Clowns are able to move easily from sad expressions to ones full of delight very easily. For all of us, laughter and tears come from the same deep well inside. And often, after a good cry, we find ourselves ready to laugh, easily and joyfully.
Laughter is a gift waiting for us on the other side of our sadness.
Can I begin to laugh by smiling now?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
Suffering is a journey, which has an end. --Matthew Fox
Pain is part of life. To live a masculine spiritual life, we need a way to understand the suffering we sometimes endure. Looking back at other difficult times can give us a better perspective of the pain we feel today. All of us can recall a loss or a sudden difficult change that we never would have chosen for ourselves. Perhaps it brought us face to face with insecurities or doubts about our survival. Now, after the suffering has ended, we see how much we grew. We changed; we were strengthened and, perhaps, were liberated by what happened to us.
Thoughts about today's suffering may not be clear as to what good it holds for us. But we are on a journey, and it can only happen one step at a time. We know that journeys teach us great lessons and they do have endings. Our pain today affirms that we are vital and alive people. We know others suffer as we do, and we can turn to each other to give and receive comfort while we are on the journey.
My pain will teach me something I need to know, and it will have an end. I will pay attention to its lessons.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
How I relate to my inner self-influences my relationships with all others. My satisfaction with myself and my satisfaction with other people are directly proportional. --Sue Atchley Ebaugh
Hateful attitudes toward others, resistance to someone's suggestions, jealousy over another woman's attractiveness or particular abilities are equally strong indications of the health of our spiritual programs. Our security rests with God. When that relationship is nurtured, the rewards will be many and satisfactions great.
Our inner selves may need pampering and praise. They have suffered the abuse of neglect for many years, no doubt. In many instances we have chided ourselves, perhaps shamed ourselves. Learning to love our inner selves, recognizing the value inherent in our very existence, takes effort, commitment, and patience--assets we may only just now be developing in this recovery program.
Our inner selves are the home of our Spirit wherein our attachment to all strength, all courage, all self-esteem, and all serenity resides. Our Spirit is one with our higher power. We must acknowledge the presence and utilize the comforts offered.
My relationships with others are as healthy and fulfilling as my communication with God.


You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
Learning to Trust Again
Many of us have trust issues.
Some of us tried long and hard to trust untrustworthy people. Over and again, we believed lies and promises never to be kept. Some of us tried to trust people for the impossible; for instance, trusting a practicing alcoholic not to drink again.
Some of us trusted our Higher Power inappropriately. We trusted God to make other people do what we wanted, then felt betrayed when that didn't work out.
Some of us were taught that life couldn't be trusted, that we had to control and manipulate our way through.
Most of us were taught, inappropriately, that we couldn't trust ourselves.
In recovery, we're healing from our trust issues. We're learning to trust again. The first lesson in trust is this: We can learn to trust ourselves. We can be trusted. If others have taught us we cannot trust ourselves, they were lying. Addictions and dysfunctional systems make people lie.
We can learn to appropriately trust our Higher Power - not to make people do what we wanted them to, but to help us take care of ourselves, and to bring about the best possible circumstances, at the best possible times, in our life.
We can trust the process - of life and recovery. We do not have to control, obsess, or become hypervigilant. . We may not always understand where we are going, or what's being worked out in us, but we can trust that something good is happening.
When we learn to do this, we are ready to learn to trust other people. When we trust our Higher Power and when we trust ourselves, we will know who to trust and what to trust that person for.
Perhaps we always did. We just didn't listen closely enough to ourselves or trust what we heard.
Today, I will affirm that I can learn to trust appropriately. I can trust Higher Power, my recovery, and myself. I can learn to appropriately trust others too.


Today I am growing in my faith that I dare to look at what is really disturbing my serenity. Today I trust that by searching deep within for my own truth, I will discover the door to freedom and peace. --Ruth Fishel

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Journey To The Heart

Take a Trip

I met the three women at the Ojo Caliente hot springs in New Mexico. Two were in their fifties, one was in her sixties. They splashed around in the mineral water in the steam pool. They looked happy, alive. “We only live two hours away, but twice a year we come here together.It heals us, renews us, and sends us back to our lives changed.”

Is there someplace you’d like to travel to? Do you have time off from work, time that you could use creatively? Do you have a long weekend coming up? How would you like to spend that?

Vacations and trips are important. They give us a chance to get away, see someplace new, rest, and refresh our spirits. Trips often synchronize with growth and change in our lives. They celebrate what we’ve been through or what we’re going through. A trip can correlate with a new leg on our journey in spiritual growth. Often, when we feel the urge to travel, it’s connected to a deeper urge, the urge to go somewhere new on our path.

Recognize the desire in your heart to travel and see new horizons. Then honor it, for it reveals your desire to touch new horizons in your life.

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More Language Of Letting Go

Stop depriving yourself

Stop depriving yourself of what feels comfortable, right, and good to you.

Some of us grew up in environments that were emotionally deprived. Being happy and enjoying life wasn’t allowed. Emotional deprivation was the theme.

Many of us learned to continue this pattern in our adult lives. We chose relationships with people who didn’t feel good to us. We chose jobs that felt uncomfortable.

Many of us have heard stories of people who are addicted to feeling miserable. It’s easy to see when other people are fostering deprivation and misery in their lives, it’s more difficult to discern when the person is us.

We may be so used to feeling bad that we genuinely don’t know what feels right to us.

You won’t know what feels right to you until you relax and learn to identify how you feel. Let go of your attraction to misery. Walk toward what feels comfortable to your heart, mind, body, and soul.

Lighten up. Let yourself get comfortable with what feels good to you.

Do you know what feels good? Do you know what you like? One day, a friend was getting his back rubbed, “That feels good,” he said. “It’s supposed to,” the person rubbing his back said to him.

Become conscious as you go through your daily life. Go on a treasure hunt. Find out what feels good to you. You just might discover that there are more treasures and pleasures in this world than you thought.

God, help me stop depriving myself of the good things in life.

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In God’s Care

People are always blaming their circumstances for what they are.
~~George Bernard Shaw

It’s easy to let circumstances determine how we think and behave. While it’s true that some events seem devastating, our relationship with a Higher Power can help us accept and even grow from experiences that seem impossible to cope with.

We all have known men and women who’ve handled grave upsets far more easily than we have. How did they do it? They have no magic. Rather, they may be more comfortable letting their Higher Power help them accept and understand unfortunate circumstances. Once we accept our anger or disappointment, we’re free to move on to better feelings. We begin to realize we have choices in how we look at problems.

We are never given more than we can handle. We can develop acceptance of any circumstances, but our success in doing so comes mainly through our reliance on God to show us the way.

God will help me handle the uncontrollable events of today. Through acceptance. I can change my feelings at any moment – even right now.

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Day By Day

Being rational

As practicing addicts, we were impulsive. We just did what we felt like doing. We didn’t think things through. Actually, we didn’t think much at all. We often acted irrationally.

As recovering addicts, we may still have some distored ideas and may still behave irrationally at times. That’s okay. But if what we’re doing seems serious to our sponsor or a couple of recovering friends, we need to talk more about our actions.

Am I learning to use reason to test my actions?

Higher Power, help me plant both feet on the ground and to practice sharing my thoughts.

I will talk with my sponsor today about..

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Food for Thought

The Power of Abstaining

Abstaining from compulsive overeating fills us with new strength. When we become honest and determined in this area of our life, our resolution and clarity flow into other areas, too. The new order and discipline are reflected in all that we do.

We establish abstinence as the most important thing in our life. As mind and body are released from the dullness and apathy caused by too much food, we are more efficient and we function more effectively. Other priorities and values sort themselves out. Instead of being torn by conflicting desires, we are able to decide which projects and activities are of most value. Instead of being paralyzed by fear and depression, we have the motivation and energy to do what needs to be done.

Accepting life-long abstinence as the will of our Higher Power enables us to push food out of the center of our life.

Thank You for the power of abstaining.

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Just Being There
Acting as a Guardian

by Madisyn Taylor

To act as a guardian to somebody during a difficult time is a most beautiful gift of support.


One of the greatest gifts we can give another human being is to act as their guardian. Whether this gift is related to a specific situation or is representative of an ongoing commitment, we each benefit from the association. To protect someone is to walk with them in challenging times and see them through safely to the other side. In doing this, we grow with them. And those under our guardianship derive confidence from our support and assistance, enabling them to persevere through almost any conditions.

There are many reasons we feel inspired to serve as guardians to those we care for. Sometimes just holding the space for somebody allows them to do what is necessary to grow or heal. We may simply want to see that our friend or loved one is taken care of and equipped to prevail over difficult circumstances. We may also sense that we are in possession of knowledge our loved ones are lacking yet need in their current stage of development. Our offer to serve as a guardian may also be both unsolicited and unrelated to any one situation. Instead of helping someone we care about cope with a specific challenge, we may find ourselves providing them with a more general form of emotional sustenance that prepares and strengthens them for challenges yet to come.

Our ability to empathize with those under our guardianship is our greatest asset because our comprehension of their needs allows us to determine how we can best serve them. Even when this comprehension is limited, however, the loving intentions with which we enter into our role as guardian ensure that our care and protection help others grow as individuals while living their lives with grace. Published with permission from Daily OM

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A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

The Program has taught me that the essence of all growth for me is a willingness to change for the getter. Following that, I must have further willingness to shoulder whatever responsibility this entails, and to courageously take every action that is required.
“I am and know and will;
I am knowing and willing;
I know myself to be and to will;
I will to be and to know.”
– Saint Augustine3

Is willingness a key ingredient of my life and the way I work The Program?

Today I Pray

I pray for willingness to do what I can, willingness to be what I can be — and what is sometimes hardest — willingness to be what I am. I pray, too, for energies to carry out my willingness in all that I do, so that I may grow in the ways of God and practice the principles of The Program in all my affairs.

Today I Will Remember

“I am and know and will.”

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One More Day

We must believe in the conquest of the spirit of the world by the spirit of God. But, the miracle must happen in us, before it can happen in the world.
– Albert Schweitzer

There is a time in the progression of life or pain or illness when we realize that no matter how extensive our resources are, no matter how deep our emotional well, we cannot depend only upon ourselves. We all recognize that time when it’s at hand; no one has to inform us.

Even if our faith has been shaken before, we are able, once again, to reach out to a Power greater than ourselves. Our Higher Power offers reassurance that even as we continue to adjust, even when we have coped as well as we cna, a greater comfort and care is open to us.

I can’t control everything. I find freedom and relief in knowing I don’t have to.

[bluidkiti]

July 23

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
There is no reality except the one contained within us. --Herman Hesse
Claude Gellee painted lovely pictures of the English countryside. Europeans loved his landscapes, with their blue hues and mild distortions. But when the people went for the carriage rides in the country, they were disappointed because it didn't look the way Gellee had painted it. Then someone discovered that if you held blue glass up to your eyes and looked through it, the trees and hills and sky looked just like a Gellee painting! Soon everyone was looking through "Claude glasses" when they traveled.
We often let others do our seeing for us. We get lazy and rely on the images of television and movies, instead of really seeing with our own eyes. Our world becomes distorted and we lose sight of the natural beauty that surrounds us.
Each of us carries reality inside ourselves, and as we grow stronger within, we discover that we can see clearest when we trust our own eyes. There is a glorious world, full and rich, just waiting for us to glimpse it.
Will I see the world through my own eyes today?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
He that to what he sees, adds observation, and to what he reads, reflection, is in the right road to knowledge. --Caleb Colton
We are not just feathers blown on the winds of a powerless life. We bring ourselves to our experiences. The dynamics of learning include, first, what happens - what we see or read or hear - and, second, what we make of it. So in our observations and reflections we consider what an event means to us.
As men in a spiritual program, we need some time to think and reflect. That is, we need time away from the phone, away from interruptions and work, where we can let ourselves learn and grow from our experiences. Some men get that by leaving the radio off while driving alone, others get it on the bus, others light a candle in a quiet room at home and meditate. In this way we are conscious and aware of what is happening in our lives and we bring our wisdom to it. Through time we deepen and grow stronger as we grow older rather than only accumulating more experiences.
Today, I will reflect on the meaning of my experiences and bring my wisdom to them.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
For this is wisdom; to live, To take what fate, or the Gods, may give. --Laurence Hope
We can't control the events of our lives, but we do have mastery over our attitudes. The chances will be many, today, to react negatively or positively to circumstances we find ourselves in. We can consider that each circumstance has something special in it for us.
Positive expectations regarding the planned as well as spontaneous activities of the day will influence the activity's flow, our involvement with it, and our interactions with the other people involved. A positive attitude seems to breed positive experiences. In other words, we attract into our lives that which we expect. How often do we get up angry, feeling behind when the day has only begun, short-tempered with our children, "ready" for a tough one at work? And we generally find it.
The Serenity Prayer offers us all the knowledge, all the wisdom we'll ever need. We can accept what has to be, change what we can, and not get confused between the two. We can inventory our attitude. Are we taking charge of it? Our attitude is something we can change.
I won't get trapped today by a negative attitude. I will accept the challenge of turning my day around.


You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
Making It Happen
Stop trying so hard to make it happen.
Stop doing so much, if doing so much is wearing you out or not achieving the desired results. Stop thinking so much and so hard about it. Stop worrying so about it. Stop trying to force, to manipulate, to coerce, or to make it happen.
Making things happen is controlling. We can take positive action to help things happen. We can do our part. But many of us do much more than our part. We overstep the boundaries from caring and doing our part into controlling, caretaking, and coercing.
Controlling is self-defeating. It doesn't work. By overextending ourselves to make something happen, we may actually be stopping it from happening.
Do your part in relaxed, peaceful harmony. Then let it go. Just let it go. Force yourself to let it go, if necessary. "Act as if." Put as much energy into letting go as you have into trying to control. You'll get much better results.
It may not happen. It may not happen the way we wanted it to and hoped it would. But our controlling wouldn't have made it happen either.
Learn to let things happen because that's what they'll do anyway. And while we're waiting to see what happens, we'll be happier and so will those around us.
Today, I will stop forcing things to happen. Instead, I will allow things to happen naturally. If I catch myself trying to force events or control people, I will stop and figure out a way to detach.


Today I will put aside all negative and destructive thoughts so that I can come from the place of love. Today I will let go of all blame and anger and resentments so that my heart and my mind will be open and free to feel love and give love. --Ruth Fishel

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Journey To The Heart

Make a Fresh Start

Sometimes we need to start over– in work, in love, in our place of residence, in creating our lives. Sometimes we have to start over again when we don’t want to, didn’t plan on it, and don’t think it’s fair.

We may end a relationship, move, start a new job, start a new career, or begin an entirely different part of our lives, a part so different we don’t recognize it as being connected to the earlier ones. It’s new. We’re new. Life is new. We’re starting over again.

Sometimes it feels like we’re starting from scratch. While we may feel a sense of excitement about this new beginning, we may also harbor a sense of dread. Not again. Not one more time. I can’t. I don’t want to. That reaction is understandable. We become tired, frightened. We feel uncertain.

Honor all your feelings, all your emotions. Remember all your lessons.Clear the way to the heart. Then make a decision.

It’s time for a fresh start.

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More Language Of Letting Go

Fill up your life

I merely took the energy it takes to pout and wrote some blues.
–Duke Ellington

One of the good things about the blues is their power to make me feel better. No matter how bad it gets in my little world, I can be pretty sure that B.B. King, John Lee Hooker, or Stevie Ray Vaughn has seen worse. Sometimes, it just feels good to vocalize all those bad feelings.

Bad things happen in life. Sometimes they are small annoyances; sometimes they are the major grief mongers. What matters is not what happens to us, but how we react to it. He left you. That is a fact. Now, after you get done with the quart of Breyers’ rocky road that you are drowning your sorrows in, what are you going to do about it? You can sit around and complain to your friends about how unfair life is, or you can get up, put the empty bowl in the dishwasher, and go fill up your life.

Feelings are one of the blessings of being human. All of them. Sometimes we feel good; sometimes we feel bad. Take some time. Take some energy and be upset. Be aware of the feeling of being upset. But then get up, go out, and make positive use of your life.

God, help me put to positive use all of the feelings in my life.

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In God’s Care

The worst moment for the atheist is when he is really thankful and has nobody to thank.
~~Dante Gabriel Rossetti

We can look back on our old life and be thankful for what we are like now. Although it is useless to dwell on the past, it is sometimes helpful to cast a backward glance. It sharpens our gratitude. The blessings we experience today are in such stark contrast to the misery we use to endure.

We examine the serendipity – all the good things that are happening to us – and we know not to take credit ourselves. We express gratitude to God because we know the good things are not accidental.

I pray that I remain grateful for God’s help.

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Day By Day

Baby-sitting

If someone truly wants our help to stop using mood-altering chemicals, we have a responsibility to do all we can. But demanding that someone accept our help or baby-sitting someone who continues to use probably does more harm than good.

Deep down, we know when someone is sincerely seeking help. While it is our job to carry the message, we must avoid trying to fix someone who is not yet ready to quit. It works better if we tell them we’re happy to talk anytime they want to call.

Am I learning the boundary between helping and fixing?

Higher Power, help me help others according to their needs,
in the best way I can.

I will concentrate on helping myself today by…

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Food for Thought

Food: Servant or Master?

Food used to be our master. The mental obsession with food and the craving for more controlled our life. As we recover, we begin to see just how much we were in slavery to food and our appetite. We know that no matter how long we abstain and recover from our disease, we will always be powerless over food. The idea that we will one day be able to eat spontaneously is the most dangerous delusion we can entertain.

By abstaining from compulsive overeating every day of our life, we make food our servant rather than our master. We eat what we need to nourish our body, but we do not permit eating for comfort, excitement, or any other emotional reason. Whatever it takes to remain abstinent is what we are willing to do each day.

Never forgetting that we are always one mouthful away from a binge ensures that food will remain our servant.

Today and every day, may I serve You instead of food.

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Guided Meditation
Accessing the World Within

by Madisyn Taylor

Guided meditation is a wonderful way to start a meditation practice and can be deeply relaxing.


A guided meditation uses the sound of a person’s voice to direct you through an inner process of relaxing your body and shifting your mind’s focus. The voice may be a person in the room with you or a recording—even something downloaded from the internet—and it is generally spoken in soothing, soft tones. You may be guided to focus on aspects of your physical body, such as on your breathing, relaxing your muscles one-by-one, or on an area in need of healing. Sometimes it might involve visualizing a journey through the beauty of the natural world. Other times, you may be led to envision yourself working with light or energy, accomplishing your goals, or repeating positive thoughts in your head. Your guide may walk you through relaxation or motivation to help you change a habit, access untapped potential, or perhaps merely to find the silence within you.

Whether you are familiar with meditation or you are a beginner, being guided gives you the opportunity to benefit from the insight of others. There are numerous meditation and visualization techniques based in various spiritual philosophies and psychological applications. You may want to try several techniques to see what appeals to you the most, or just to gain a fresh perspective.

Guided meditation allows you to learn from others in a way that is similar to ones used by ancients the world over. Once learned, meditation is a tool that will always be available to you. Like having a tour guide while traveling in a foreign country, a guided meditation takes you on an inner journey. But this tour allows you to see and experience your own inner world, a place that truly only exists within you. The scenes created in your mind’s eye can be revisited at anytime, without a guide, because once you have seen the fascinating landscape of your own inner terrain, there will always be more to explore. Published with permission from Daily OM

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A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

Today I’ll try to settle for less than I wish were possible, and be willing to not only accept it but to appreciate it. Today, I’ll not expect too much of anyone — especially myself. I’ll try to remember that contentment comes from gratefully accepting the good that comes to us, and not from being furious at life because it’s not “better.” Do I realize the difference between resignation and realistic acceptance?

Today I Pray

May I not set my sights unrealistically high, expect too much. May I look backwards long enough to see that my self-set, impossible goals were the trappings of my addiction; too often I ended up halfway there, confronted by my own failure. Those “foiled-again,” “I’ve-failed-again” feelings became monumental excuses to give in to my compulsion, which blanketed my miseries. May I avoid that sick old pattern. May I be realistic.

Today I Will Remember

Good is good enough.

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One More Day

A friend is clearer than the light of heaven, for it would be better for us that the sun were extinguished than that we should be without friends.
– St. John Chrysostom

Friendship is our greatest achievement and reward. Our friends are people to care about, celebrate with, and count on. Even condition, friends are there fo reach other. Within the closest friendships we find the best of each other at all times.

Friendships enrich our lives. It is no accident that we become close and maintain our contact. Our paths crossed for reasons, and we are forever a part of each other’s life. We really listen. We open up. We offer help and hope. We share each other’s pain and enhance each other’s growth. We appreciate our friend’s unique qualities. We let each other know who we really are.

I bring myself honestly to my friendships.

[bluidkiti]

July 24

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
I had crossed the line. I was free: but there was no one to welcome me to the land of freedom. I was a stranger in a strange land. --Harriet Tubman
Harriet Tubman was a Black woman who devoted her life to helping slaves escapes their bondage. In her youth, she had been hit on the head so she suffered dizzy spells for the rest of her life. In spite of this, and at great risk to her own life, she guided many slaves on the Underground Railroad to freedom.
Freedom from slavery is different today but just as necessary. It may mean freedom from being a slave to what others think of us, freedom from eating more than is healthy for us, freedom from jealousy, and freedom from trying to force others to do what we want them to do.
We are free to be the very best persons we can be. Our own freedom can be even more fulfilling when we welcome others enthusiastically into that land of freedom by allowing them the room to be themselves without fear of judgment. In this way, by freeing ourselves, we free one another.
How can I free myself today?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
Many things are lost for want of asking. --English proverb
It's a principle of this program that we grow, in part, by learning to ask for what we need. Perhaps today we are struggling with a problem that could be eased if we talked to another man in the program. We could call him on the phone and just ask him if he has a few minutes to talk. Maybe we're wondering about a physical pain. Maybe we feel strange about something we said and would like to ask someone's opinion.
Mistaken notions about masculinity get in the way of recovery when we refuse to ask for help. We think we should know the answers and be self-sufficient. Maybe we feel stupid if we have to ask. Those notions drop by the wayside as we get healthier and learn the rewards of connecting with others to satisfy our mutual needs. No longer does false pride have to keep us isolated and struggling alone.
Today, I will notice what I need and practice asking for help.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
... The idea has gained currency that women have often been handicapped not only by a fear of failure--not unknown to men either, but by a fear of success as well. --Sonya Rudikoff
It was our practice, before coming to this program, to eat, drink, and smoke our fears away. What we came to realize, profoundly, was that the fears couldn't be escaped even while high. This program is helping us to understand that fears are human, normal and survivable when we let God and our friends in the program lend a helping hand.
Drugs and alcohol distorted our perceptions. Our fears, whether large or small, were distorted. And we still distort those fears, on occasion, because we move away from the spiritual reality of our lives. Remember, we are confronted with no situation too big to handle, no experience for which we are unprepared, if we but turn to that greater power that the program offers us.
We cannot fail in whatever we try today. The outcome of any task attempted is just as it should be. And however we succeed today, we will be shown the steps, at the right time, to make use of that success.
I shall not fear failure or success. I am not alone in experiencing either; both are stepping-stones on my life's journey.


You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
Denial
Denial is a powerful tool. Never underestimate its ability to cloud your vision.
Be aware that, for many reasons, we have become experts at using this tool to make reality more tolerable. We have learned well how to stop the pain caused by reality - not by changing our circumstances, but by pretending our circumstances are something other than what they are.
Do not be too hard on yourself. While one part of you was busy creating a fantasy reality, the other part went to work on accepting the truth.
Now, it is time to find courage. Face the truth. Let it sink gently in.
When we can do that, we will be moved forward.
God, give me the courage and strength to see clearly.


Today I am going to spend more time looking for all the positive things about myself. Today I recognize myself and acknowledge myself as a terrific human being. --Ruth Fishel

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Journey To The Heart

Joy Is the Way

The woman was in her fifties, maybe sixties. She had retired from the big city and was now working as a waitress in Mary’s Restaurant, a small cafe in a small Montana town. She looked as if she lived alone. She looked as if she had been through her share of disappointments, joys, and awakenings. She brought me a plate of bacon and eggs, set them down, and gave me a radiant smile. “It’s a beautiful day,” she said.

“Yes it is,” I said. I looked at her. “Are you happy to be here?”

She thought for a moment, then replied. “Yes,” she said with joy in her voice. “Yes, I am.”

Joy is the way. Joy in the morning. Joy throughout the day. Joy at twilight. Joy in our dreams, waking and sleeping. For so long we believed that our joy depended on specific outward circumstances, on a particular situation being a certain way, or on the presence or behavior of a particular person. While getting what we want and being with those we love can add to our joy, we have learned another kind of joy, a deeper kind of joy. A joy that abides and carries us through.

Joy doesn’t come from outside, although the energies of the universe and universal love can add to our joy and fill our wellspring. Joy comes from doing the Divine will each moment. Joy comes from living in harmony with ourselves each moment of each day. Joy is a choice that comes from accepting and living fully each moment of our lives, knowing that each day and each event is important.

Joy comes from trusting each moment. That’s the secret of joy. Receive it now, then pass it on with a smile and a kind word to all who come along your path.

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More Language Of Letting Go

Let go of fear

Sometimes, we say we want to go to the next level in our lives– in work, in play, or in love. But it feels like the door is shut. Fear can disguise itself behind many different faces: we want to do it our way; we’re not interested; or it’s just not time. What we’re coming up against isn’t a closed door, it’s the fear we’re repressing and holding inside.

If you’re confused about why you’re not moving forward naturally in some area of your life, take a closer look. See if you’ve got some hidden fears that might be holding you back. If you’re blocked and trying to move forward, remember to feel and release your fear first. Then see if that wasn’t just the key you needed to unlock and open that door.

God, help me see, feel, and release my fears about moving forward in my life.

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In God’s Care

Toleration is the greatest gift of the mind.
~~Helen Keller

How difficult it is still to simply enjoy the gifts of the moment and not obsessively try to control the people and circumstances in our life. Sometimes we can persuade others to go along with our wishes. Perhaps we can positively influence a tense situation by our involvement in the solution. But we can’t ultimately control anyone or anything, only the choices we make about ourselves. We can decide the attitude we will cultivate; we can decide the behavior we will exhibit; we can decide to let God participate in our life.

Our willingness to follow God’s will assures us greater peace. Work, relationships, day-to-day struggles become less stressful when we’ve let God in. By trusting guidance from a friend, reading a meditation, or perhaps just by being still, we’ll discover the peace of letting go and be enriched by the serenity that follows.

I will let others live the way they choose. Today I will live the way that pleases me – and God.

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Day By Day

Sharing a common goal

Since we’re going the same way, let’s go together. We may have some differences, but let’s work them out and respect each other’s opinions. Since our goal is the same, you help me and I’ll help you.

But let’s never withhold love as a weapon against one another. Since we are held together by a critical common solution, let’s not cause one another any suffering.

Am I learning to emphasize our common purpose?

Higher Power, help me see that what we share in the fellowship is more important than what separates us.

Today I will strengthen our common cause by…

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Food for Thought

Living Is a Privilege

When we were overeating, how often did we drag ourselves out of bed wondering how we were going to make it through the day? Many of us felt that life was treating us unfairly, and we blamed those around us for our misery. We may have thought we believed in a Power greater than ourselves, but we were unable to apply the belief so that it made a difference in the way we were living. Trying to manage our own life pushed us further and further into despair.

The OA program shows us how to commit our will and our life to the management of God. We stop trying to “go it alone,” and we listen for His direction. By the grace of our Higher Power, we abstain from compulsive overeating one day at a time, and we walk a new way of humility and obedience.

Little by little, we recover in mind and body, and we no longer feel crushed by an uncaring fate. We accept each day as a gift from the hand of God, and we live it to the best of our ability.

Thank You for the privilege of living and abstaining today.

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Cleansing Your Power Center
Trusting Your Gut

by Madisyn Taylor

Gut feelings earn their name from the place in the body where they make themselves known. A pang in your gut when you may be doing the wrong thing, or a vibrant zing when your body approves, can guide you reliably at times when logic fails. Sometimes, when logic prevails, we ignore our gut and live to regret it, understanding later that a rational approach is only one way of determining what is going on in a situation and how we should react.

Our gut resides in the neighborhood of our solar plexus and the third chakra just above your belly button. When it is functioning well, we can trust its guidance and adjust our actions accordingly. Many of us have a tendency to hold in this area of our bodies. We may take shallow breaths that never reach this vital nexus that is the source of our empowerment. It is in this place that we find the courage to act, to reach out into the world and create change. When our power center is out of balance, we are timid and out of sync, wishing we had said something we were only able to phrase later when we were alone; wishing we had acted on an opportunity we didn’t see until it was past.

In order to utilize your power center, you may want to focus your attention on it more regularly and make time to care for it. You can begin right now by taking a deep breath into your belly. On the exhale, pull your navel in toward your spine so as to empty out completely before taking another deep breath into your belly. When you empty completely, you release stagnant energy and create more space to be filled with fresh, nourishing breath. The more you practice this simple, cleansing exercise, the more clear and communicative your gut feelings will be and the more comfortable you will feel acting on them. Published with permission from Daily OM

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A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

How, exactly, can a p4erson turn his own will and his own life over to the care of a Power greater than himself? All that’s needed is a beginning, no matter how small. The minute we put the key of willingness in the lock, the latch springs open. Then the door itself starts to open, perhaps even so slightly; in time we find that we can always open it wider. Self-will may slam the door shut again, and it often does. But the door can always be reopened, time and time again if necessary, so long as we use our key of willingness. Have I reaffirmed my decision to turn my will and my life over to the care of God as I understand Him?

Today I Pray

May I reaffirm my decision to turn my will and my life over to a Higher Power. May my faith be staunch enough to keep me knowing that there is, indeed, a power greater than I am. May I avail myself of that Power simply by being willing to “walk humbly with my Lord.”

Today I Will Remember

Self-will minus self equals will.

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One More Day

Keep your fears to yourself but share your courage with others.
– Robert Louis Stevenson

Each of us harbors secret fears. “how will I manage?” “Can I make it through today?” “Will my family still love me if my behavior has been inappropriate?”

We learn, rather early in the game, that a defeatist attitude drives our friends away after a period of time. Therefore, it’s often up to us to deal with our own fears. We do our best to ease ourselves through each crisis — and at times we will need additional help — but by and large we can do it. It isn’t so much that we’re overly independent or angry. It’s that we need to help our loved ones learn how to cope with our illness, so we keep our fears from becoming irrational as best we can. And that often passes for courage.

I will put my fears into proper perspective because this helps me — and my loved ones.

[bluidkiti]

July 25

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
He wanted to hold onto his fury, to guard it like a treasure. He would not let it be stolen from him . . .. But already, he felt it slipping, softened by Ben's compassionate touch. --Joe Johnson and Nilo Rodis-Jamero
The glassblower is an artist who takes broken glass and melts it in a very hot furnace. Then the glassblower blows through a long tube and creates objects such as cups and plates and pieces of art.
The sharp edges of our anger are like pieces of broken glass. We all have things in our lives that anger us--it is only human to bump into our sharp edges. One edge might be crabby, another silent and withdrawn, and still another yelling and screaming.
The heat of love and compassion can melt our anger. This may take the form of sympathy for ourselves, or for the people we love. More often, it is the compassion of those around us that helps melt our anger. Sometimes saying I'm sorry is a good way to melt anger and find the love underneath it.
What beauty can I create with my anger today?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
Everyone once, once only. Just once and no more. And we also once. Never again. But this having been once, although only once, to have been of the earth, seems irrevocable. --Rainer Maria Rilke
In the hopelessness of addiction and codependency, and as children of addicts, some of us have considered suicide, and some of us have actually tried to kill ourselves. We have maintained the option as an escape in case life got too difficult. Now, in recovery, we have chosen life. We've stopped killing ourselves in the slow ways of our old behaviors, yet some of us hold on to our ace in the hole. Either consciously or unconsciously, we haven't made that unconditional commitment to life.
It may be one firmer step into recovery - a vote for the life we have been given - to say, "I will never choose suicide. Whatever comes my way, it is not an option for me." When we give up that one final controlling maneuver, we may find ourselves freer to live in this one irretrievable life we've been given.
In choosing to be totally on the side of life, I step further into the care of God. Whatever 1 must meet, God is with me.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
I have a clear choice between life and death, between reality and fantasy, between health and sickness. I have to become responsible--responsible for mistakes as well as accomplishments. --Eileen Mayhew
Choosing to participate actively in our own lives ushers in joy and sometimes fear. We are energized by our conscious involvement; making thoughtful choices regarding our development heightens our sense of well-being. But occasionally we may fear potential failure. About as frequently, we may fear probable success.
Not every day do we want the responsibility for our lives; but we have it. On occasion we only want the loving arms of a caretaker. The beauty of our lives at this time is that we do have a caretaker at our beck and call, a caretaker who has demonstrated repeatedly a concern for our safety, a caretaker who will help us shoulder every responsibility we face.
Clearly, our coming to this program shows that we have chosen to act responsibly. And just as clearly, every day that we ask for the guidance to live to the best of our abilities, we will be helped to accomplish the tasks right for us in this stage of our lives.
All I have to do is make the right choices. I will always know which they are, when I ask for guidance.


You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
Keep at It
Keep practicing your recovery behaviors, even when they feel awkward, even when they haven't quite taken yet, even if you don't get it yet.
Sometimes it takes years for a recovery concept to move from our mind into our heart and soul. We need to work at recovery behaviors with the diligence, effort, and repeated practice we applied to codependent behaviors. We need to force ourselves to do things even when they don't feel natural. We need to tell ourselves we care about ourselves and can take care of ourselves even when we don't believe what we're saying.
We need to do it, and do it, and do it - day after day, year after year.
It is unreasonable to expect this new way of life to sink in overnight. We may have to "act as if" for months, years, before recovery behaviors become ingrained and natural.
Even after years, we may find ourselves, in times of stress or duress, reverting to old ways of thinking, feeling, and behaving.
We may have layers of feelings we aren't ready to acknowledge until years into our recovery. That's okay! When it's time, we will.
Do not give up! It takes time to get self-love into the core of us. It takes repeated practice. Time and experience. Lessons, lessons, and more lessons.
Then, just when we think we've arrived, we find we have more to learn.
That's the joy of recovery. We get to keep learning and growing all of our life!
Keep on taking care of yourself, no matter what. Keep on plugging away at recovery behaviors, one day at a time. Keep on loving yourself, even when it doesn't feel natural. Act as if for as long as necessary, even if that time period feels longer than necessary.
One day, it will happen. You will wake up, and find that what you've been struggling with and working so hard at and forcing yourself to do, finally feels comfortable. It has hit our soul.
Then, you go on to learn something new and better.
Today, I will plug away at my recovery behaviors, even if they don't feel natural. I will force myself to go through the motions even if that feels awkward. I will work at loving myself until I really do.


When I turn a problem over to my Higher Power today, I will let go with the confidence that all is being handled for me. After I have done all my footwork, I know the results will work out just as they are supposed to. --Ruth Fishel

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Journey To The Heart

Don’t Get Ahead of Yourself

I pulled out the map. I’ll go here, I thought, and there. I’ll visit this place, then that one. My mind raced with excitement at all the places left to see. I felt overwhelmed, wondering if I could get to all the places I wanted to visit. For a moment I forgot to look around and appreciate where I was– in the forest at the foot of Mount Olympus in Olympic State Park.

Don’t get ahead of yourself. There are many wonderful places left to visit, many experiences to have, many people to meet and enjoy. But you aren’t there yet. There will be some trials,too. More lessons along the path. But you aren’t there yet,either.

Stay in this moment. It contains the experience you need to have. This moment contains your happiness. Living this moment, being fully present for it, is the way to get to the next experience, the next person, the next emotion, the next adventure. Cherish the moment. Feel all there is to feel. See all there is to see.

Learn the lessons of today, and you will be prepared for the adventures and joys of tomorrow.

Be here now. This is the only place you need to be. And from this place, all things are possible.

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More Language Of Letting Go

See how much courage you have

Everyone is in awe of the lion-tamer in a cage with half a dozen lions– everyone but a school bus driver.
–Unknown

You may not be a great warrior. You might not lead explorations to the North Pole or climb Mount Everest. But you still need courage.

Courage lies in the simple things as well as the grandiose. It’s fun and easy to speculate about how we would respond in our fantasy lives– climbing that mountain or leading knights into battle– but what about now?

Do you have the courage to live your life, to walk your path every day, right where you are?

Sometimes, it takes more courage to do the ordinary things in life than it does to walk to the door of the airplane and jump.

It takes courage to get sober, to stay sober, to get up every day and go to your job, support your family, pay the bills, and walk the path that you have been given to walk. We all need courage to do the thing that scares us and sometimes to do the thing that doesn’t scare us, over and over again.

God, please grant me the courage to do the right thing in my relationships, in my job, and in my spiritual growth. Please give me the courage to live my life.

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In God’s Care

To feel extraordinarily small and unimportant is always a wholesome feeling.
~~Robert H. Benson

There’s something spiritual about laying under the stars on a clear night. The immensity of the universe is enough to put our life into perspective. It can lift the weight of the world from our shoulders. While we may feel our burdens are heavy and our responsibilities endless, just a glimpse of that twinkling night sky helps us realize we are not quite as important as we sometimes think.

But just as each of those billions of stars has a place in the heavens, so do we have a place in God’s plan. Our influence may be small, our light may not shine far, but just as each star has a place, we too have a role in the Divine plan. Through God’s love, we can enjoy our connection to the universe.

Today I will enjoy being too small to carry the whole world on my shoulders.

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Day By Day

Practicing the principles

Our program and its principles apply to every area of our lives. Sometimes people say that they would lose their livelihood if they applied the principles to their work. But this is probably not true and speaks of fear. If we must lie or be hypocritical in any area of our lives, then we are not applying the principles.

Once we realize that it is reassuring and rewarding – not threatening – to let God work through us all the time, we will feel genuine, we will feel integrity, we will feel at peace.

Do I practice these principles in all my affairs?

Higher Power, help me see whether any area of my life is missing the benefit of the principles.

The principle I will apply today in all my affairs is…

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Food for Thought

Gifts

The OA program is a gift to us from our Higher Power. Without it, we would still be bogged down in compulsive overeating with no solution in sight. Our fellowship gives us the hope and love we need to sort ourselves out and begin to live a new life.

Recovery through abstinence is the gift, which we are offered every day. In order to receive it, we need to be sincere and earnest in our efforts to work the program. We can count on God’s support if we are willing to go to any lengths to stop eating compulsively.

With gratitude for these gifts from our Higher Power, we are able to give back what has come to us. We share our program and give our time and abilities where we see a need that we can fill. The more we give, the more we receive. God’s abundance is inexhaustible.

We thank You for Your gifts.

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Wave Motion
Hado

by Madisyn Taylor

The study of hado tells us that the energetic vibrations from our thoughts affect our physical realities.


Walking through a Japanese garden, one truly feels the life force energy that is known as Hado. Hado isn’t just present in Japan, but it is a concept that has existed in Japan for centuries. The two Japanese characters that make up the word Hado mean “wave” and “move” - perfect words to describe the energy vibrations that permeate all life. Hado is present in all things, animate and inanimate. It resides everywhere, even in the air and in people.

The study of hado tells us that the energetic vibrations from our thoughts affect on our physical realities. Each of us has the ability to manifest a specific intention through the hado that we send out – from making our jewelry shine to changing the atmosphere of a room full of people to transforming the hado of an empty space. However, we are often unaware that our thoughts are creating vibrations in the world outside our minds. Once we know that this is the case, we can become more aware of our negative thinking and train ourselves to stay positive and think with intention.

Giving thanks for a meal before we eat can change the energy of our food. Expressing gratitude by thoughts or words makes a huge difference to both the giver and recipient because you are sending them hado. A kind smile really makes a difference when you work consciously with hado. Once we become aware of the power of hado, we can create positive changes in every area of our lives: our physical space, mental and emotional health, relationships, and businesses. One of the most important principles of hado is to monitor your thoughts and intentions every day. Enjoy the improvements that you will create in your life and the world around you by consciously working with hado. Published with permission from Daily OM

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A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

The slogans of The Program are seemngly clear adn simple. Yet they may still have different meanings for different people, according to their own experience and reaction to the words and ideas. Take, for example, the slogan Let Go and Let God. For some people, it may suggest that all we have to do is sidestep teh challenges that confront us and , somehow, God will do all the work. We must remember that God gives us free will, intelligence and good senses — it is clearly His intention that we use these gifts. If I’m receptive, God will make His will known to me step by step, but I must carry it out. Do I sometimes act as if surrender to God’s will is a passport to inertia?

Today I Pray

May my “passport” be stamped with “action.” May my travels be motivated by challenges I can readily recognize as things to do, not things to watch. I pray that I may make the most of my gifts from God, of talents that I am aware of and some I have yet to discover. May I not “let go” and give up but keep on learning, growing, doing, serving, praying, carrying out the will of God as I understand It.

Today I Will Remember

God meant me to make the most of myself.

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One More Day

He who knows others is learned, he who knows himself is wise.
– Lao Tsze

We sometimes let how we think we should act keep us from showing our deepest feelings. We may behave the way others expect us to act, while burying within ourselves the pain and fears associated with our changing health.

Acting upon our own thoughts and feelings can be difficult; acting according to what others think is frustrating — and impossible. Gradually we find more stability and confidence within ourselves. This self-trust allows us to show our emotions and to express our ideas and feelings. We might be short-tempered sometimes, or impatient, or angry. None of us is perfect. We accept that truth, and are freed of the burden of pleasing others; we discover the joy of acting on our inner messages of growth and honesty.

I am most free to grow when I am acting honestly on my own values and feelings.

[bluidkiti]

July 26

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
Isn't it great life is open-ended! --Brigitte Frase
Elizabeth Lawton, known as "Grandma Layton," is an American artist who never drew a picture until she was sixty-eight years old. She spent all the years before that time trying to cope with depression. She had gone through therapy, medications, and shock treatment and continued to be severely depressed. But then she signed up for an art class and the act of drawing cured her depression. She continues to make fabulous pictures.
What does she think about the critical acclaim her artwork has received? She says she wants others to know about her art so it may give hope to those who have also "suffered from feelings."
Many of us have suffered from feelings. We must remember that we can each turn to our creativity--at any age--as a source for our well-being. All we need to do is have faith in the potential goodness within ourselves and those we love.
What creative activity can I look to for comfort today?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
The lust for power is not rooted in strength but in weakness. --Erich Fromm
Many of us have felt so insecure, so poor, or so much the underdog that we made a fervent promise to ourselves that we'd come out on top later. We know how weak we felt, and that image continues to be our guiding force long after the weakness was overcome. We may have spiritual problems because we are blind to the reality of our present life. While grasping for more security, more love, more money, or trying to lose more weight or attract more friends, we fail to stop and realize the real rewards we already have today. We are driven by the memory of pain and insecurity, rather than rising above it and relating to the higher principles and people around us. Getting more control or more achievements does not solve our spiritual problems, but by making peace with the fact that life is insecure.
Today, I will let go of my grasping for more. I will let go of it again and again throughout the day so I am not ruled by this weakness.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
We want the facts to fit the preconceptions. When they don't, it is easier to ignore the facts than to change the preconceptions. --Jessamyn West
To live fully and creatively, to contribute what is only ours to give, requires that we be receptive, wholly, to the reverberations of each present moment. Even anticipation of what may transpire next can prejudice our minds, our level of awareness. Preconceptions cloud our senses. They prevent the actual situation from being fully realized. And it is only in the now, as sensed moment by moment, that we find our cues to proceed along the path chosen for us.
As we grow more comfortable with Step Three, daily turning our lives and wills over to the care of God, we'll see how much more rewarding our experiences are. We'll see, too, how much greater are our own contributions. Preconceptions of any situation, persons, anticipated experience, dulls the magic, the depth of the moment. And only when we attune ourselves to the invitation of the moment do we give of ourselves, wholly. Our partnership with God lives now, as we go forth in this moment.
I will look to each moment with childish eyes. I'll find joy and contentment.


You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
Owning Our Power
Don't you see? We do not have to be so victimized by life, by people, by situations, by work, by our friends, by our love relationships, by our family, by our feelings, our thoughts, our circumstances, and ourselves.
We are not victims. We do not have to be victims. That is the whole point!
Yes, admitting and accepting powerlessness is important. But that is the first step, an introduction to this business of recovery. Later, comes owning our power. Changing what we can. This is as important as admitting and accepting powerlessness. And there is so much we can change.
We can own our power, wherever we are, wherever we go, whomever we are with. We do not have to stand there with our hands tied, groveling helplessly, submitting to whatever comes along. There are things we can do. We can speak up. Solve the problem. Use the problem to motivate ourselves to do something good for ourselves.
We can make ourselves feel good. We can walk away. We can come back on our terms. We can stand up for ourselves. We can refuse to let others control and manipulate us.
We can do what we need to do to take care of our selves. That is the beauty, the reward, the crown of victory we are given in this process called recovery. It is what it is all about!
If we can't do anything about the circumstance, we can change our attitude. We can do the work within: courageously face our issues so we are not victimized. We have been given a miraculous key to life.
We are victims no more unless we want to be.
Freedom and joy are ours for the taking, for the feeling, for the hard work we have done.
Today, I will remind myself as often as necessary that I am not a victim, and I do not need to be victimized by whatever comes my way. I will work hard to remove myself as a victim, whether that means setting and enforcing a boundary, walking away, dealing with my feelings, or giving myself what I need. God, help me let go of my need to feel victimized.


Today I will allow to just be without judgment, without criticism. I will accept all that happens with love and gentleness.
--Ruth Fishel

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Journey To The Heart

Find Places of Repose

I was driving down a Nevada highway feeling tense and agitated when the sign appeared. “To the Nature Sanctuary.” Ignored the first entrance; then turned at the second one. In a few short feet, the road and scenery changed from barren, flat highway into a terrain of serene repose. A family of ducks bathed and swam in a small lake, surrounded by trees. Tiny wrens pecked at the gravel. A boy about thirteen sat fishing, a picnic lunch by his side. In only a few minutes, my agitation disappeared. I had found a place of peace.

Rest when you become tense, afraid, upset. Rest until peace returns. Stop what you’re doing. Take a moment, take an hour. Take the time you need to restore peace. Breathe deeply. Breathe in the quiet beauty of the world around you. Let it be a sanctuary that soothes and calms your soul.

Places of healing and repose are moments away. Find them in the world around you. Then discover those places in yourself. The universe holds the antidote for your fears and agitation. It offers all the healing you need. That healing is right around the corner.

Take a moment, take an hour. When you feel your peace interrupted, look for a place of repose.

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More Language Of Letting Go

See what feels right to you

“French Valley traffic, Cessna 80809 taking active runway one-eight for left crosswind departure. French Valley.”

I turned onto eighteen, pushed the throttle in, then held my breath as the little gold-and-white plane sped down the runway, then lifted off the ground. I pulled back on the yoke, lifting her gently, but not too gently. She needed to clear the trees, houses, and towers in front of me. But if I lifted her nose too fast, too high, we’d lose speed and go into a stall.

There was a lot to think about, trying to do this right.

We began to ascend, just past five hundred feet, when the plane began hopping about in the air. It was just the wind, but it was those same hurdles of air, the lifting and the dropping and the being bounced around, that made me feel like we were going to suddenly fall out of the sky.

“You’ve got the controls,” I screamed at Rob.

“No, you’ve got the controls,” he said, placing his hands resolutely in his lap.

“Rob, I’m scared,” I said. “I feel really uncomfortable.”

“Then breathe.”

I couldn’t breathe, at least not the way he meant– consciously, breath in, breath out, calming myself down. Holding my breath was a habit, one I’d acquired early in my life. Holding my breath was how I responded to my fear.

I got the plane up to one thousand feet, then two thousand. I wasn’t comfortable, but I climbed to five thousand feet so we could do the maneuvers we had planned.

I tried to relax and breathe, but I still felt overwhelmed. I couldn’t relax.

Rob was fidgeting with something; I wasn’t sure what. I kept watching outside the plane for other traffic, then watching inside the plane at the gauges. I was about to give up trying when suddenly, Rob began sticking pieces of paper over each of the dials.

“What are you doing?” I asked.

“Teaching you to trust yourself,” he said. “Tell me when it feels like we’re going at sixty-five knots,” he sad.

Now, I had to relax. “About now,” I said.

He uncovered the dial. We were at sixty-five knots.

“Now, do a coordinated turn of thirty degrees– without checking the instrument panel,” he said. “Tell me when it feels right to you.”

I relaxed even more deeply, gently guiding the plane into a slow coordinated turn.

“Perfect,” he said, showing me the gauges.

“See,” he said, confidently. “You’re just scaring yourself by confusing yourself in your head, with all these dials and all you think you have to do to get it right. All you really need to do is relax and trust what feels right to you.”

Let go of fear and confusion. Stop overwhelming yourself with all you have to do, and trying to get it right. Get information. Read books. Get help. Then relax. You know more than you think.

You’ll know when you’re getting ti right.

Trust what feels right to you.

God, help me learn to let go of my fears and trust when it feels right to me.

**************************************************

In God’s Care

It is not the image we create of God which proves God. It is the effort we make to create this image.
~~Pierre Lecomte du Nouy

Not very many of us have the truly dramatic spiritual experience that dispells, for all time, our insecurity and our doubts about God’s existence. We may know someone who has been this fortunate, but most of us have to give frequent or daily attention to prayer, meditation, and perhaps affirmations in order to develop the faith that can come to everyone.

Our path for developing conscious contact with God makes God a familiar companion in our daily life. Our thoughts of God can remind us that God cares and is in charge. Exercising our mind in this way is not unlike exercising our body. Just as our repeated physical efforts strengthen our muscles, our belief is strengthened into faith when we make the remembrance of God’s presence a daily practice.

I will remember God today.

************************************************** *************

Day By Day

Avoiding pity

Coming into the fellowship, newcomers may see older members as unsympathetic, unsupportive, or even rude. Old-timers don’t mince words with newcomers who aren’t ready to stop using: “Go back out and try some more if you haven’t had enough.” Old-timers don’t pity newcomers. While they understand the fear and pain, they also know that pity will kill because pity leads to self-pity and evgentually back to using.

So if old-timers seem harsh it’s out of loving, knowing hearts – it’s out of tough love.

Have I stopped pitying myself (and others)?

Higher Power, help me avoid self-pity so I can do what I need to do to recover.

Today I will avoid self-pity by…

************************************************** **************

Food for Thought

Doing God’s Will

For a long time, most of us tried to achieve happiness by serving our self-will. We figured out what we wanted from life and then went about trying to attain it. When our efforts were frustrated, we turned to food and overeating.

The idea of giving our self-will to God and following His direction makes us fearful. We fear that we will lose out and be unhappy. We are reluctant to give up our illusions of autonomy and power. We wonder if there really is a Higher Power who can direct our way. We pray for guidance and then forget to listen for the response.

When we are willing to trust a Higher Power in even one small area of our lives, we begin to see results. As our faith grows, we become confident enough to relinquish more and more of the concerns, which by ourselves we are unable to manage. The more we work this program, the more sure we are that our peace and happiness lie in serving God, rather than ourselves.

I pray for courage to follow Your will.

************************************************** **************

Half-Full Consciousness
Starting from Empty

by Madisyn Taylor

Live your life as if your glass is half-full rather than half-empty, all you need is a change of thought.


We are all familiar with the metaphorical story of two people looking at the same glass and one perceiving it as half-full while the other sees it as half-empty. As much as we’ve heard this, it’s still a valuable exercise to really observe our minds and notice whether we are engaged in half-full or half-empty thinking. People will refer to themselves as being of one type or the other as if it was a permanent characteristic, but we are all capable of shifting into a half-full consciousness if we simply make the effort.

When we look at our lives with half-empty consciousness, we perceive a lack and think that the other half of what we want is missing. We are coming from a position of expectation and entitlement. On the other hand, when we look at our lives as half-full we perceive fullness. It is as if we recognize that our cup could be fully empty and so we are grateful for what we see as bounty—not something we expect or believe we are owed, but a gift. In half-full consciousness, we count our blessings. When we look at our lives we see all the elements that are in place and all the things we do have. This doesn’t necessarily mean we don’t seek more, but we seek from a place of fullness instead of from a place of lack. This fullness draws positive energy into our lives and often attracts more abundance.

If you would like to begin to make the shift into half-full consciousness, try imagining your life as an empty glass. This is your life without all the people you know, the work you do, your home, or your current state of physical wellbeing. This is just an empty, open space waiting to be filled. Once you have that feeling of openness in your mind, begin filling it with all the people, things, and places that make up your life. You may be surprised to find your glass overflowing. Published with permission from Daily OM

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A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

Now that I avail myself of the letters H-O-W suggested by friends in The Program – Honesty, Open-Mindedness, Willingness – I see things differently. In ways that I couldn’t have predicted and surely never expected, I’ve come to see things quite differently from the person I was before coming to The Program. I feel good most days. I seldom feel bad, and never for long. Certainly never as bad as I used to feel all of the time. Is my worst day now infinitely better than my best day previously?

Today I Pray

May I remember today to say “thank you” to my Higher Power, to my friends in the group and to the whole, vast fellowship of recovering chemically dependent persons for making me know that things do get better. I give thanks, too, for those verbal boosters, the tags and slogans which have so often burst into my brain at exactly the moments when they were needed, redefining my purp0ose, restoring my patience, reminding me of my God.

Today I Will Remember

How it was.

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One More Day

The future is called “perhaps,” which is the only possible thing to call the future. and the important thing is not to allow that to scare you.
– Tennessee Williams

“I’m going to work in the mills, like my Dad.” “I’m going to be a teacher.” “I want to be a soldier.” As children, we believed in these absolute, fixed goals. In adulthood, we learn that we can’t always get what we expect. Sometimes we don’t even come close. Those who manage to live happy and fulfilling lives are flexible, mature adults.

Flexibility means we can incorporate changes into our lives, ween when those changes cause indifference in the way we live. What’s most important is to remember that we can change goals and attain them, that happiness is there if we work and plan for it.

I am not afraid to make changes that are good for me.

[bluidkiti]

July 27

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
In summer I am very glad
We children are so small,
For we can see a thousand things
That men can't see at all.
--Laurence Alma-Tadema
Out behind the house a little boy is turning over stepping-stones, which form the sidewalk. Underneath these stones he has discovered many different kinds of worms and bugs. They wiggle this way and that when their cover is removed. He is only four, but he is the only one in the family who has made this discovery.
In a child's eyes there are many wonderful things, which escape the attention of the adult world. In order to see them, we must often take the time to let those younger than us show the way. Even though we may have lost our own childlike view of the world, others can guide us and thereby enrich our lives. We have much to teach and share with each other, regardless of our ages.
What can I learn from one younger than me today?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
You cannot get it by taking thought; You cannot seek it by not taking thought. --Zenrin poem
We are transported into unfamiliar worlds in this program by ideas that sometimes confound our mind. In the spiritual realms we learn things we didn't learn anywhere else, and gradually they bring us peace. We can decide with our will to follow a spiritual direction, to turn our life and will over to the care of our God. We cannot control what God will do with them. When we learn that part of our problem was trying too hard, being too self sufficient, or being too controlling, our old ways tell us to try hard to control that. But then we are only doing more of the same old thing. We learn that after making our decision, our Higher Power takes over. Now it is possible to be released from our own trying, to move beyond our own efforts by falling into the caring hand of God.
I must give this program first priority in my life, remembering my spiritual progress comes as a gift, not as an achievement.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
To keep a lamp burning we have to keep putting oil in it. --Mother Teresa
Our spiritual nature must be nurtured. Prayer and meditation lovingly kindle the flame that guides us from within. Because we're human, we often let the flame flicker and perhaps go out. And then we sense the dreaded aloneness. Fortunately, some time away, perhaps even a few moments in quiet communion with God, rekindles the flame.
For most of us, the flame burned low, or not at all, for many years. The flickering we may feel today, or tomorrow, or felt yesterday, will not last, so we may put away our fears. We can listen to the voice of our higher power in others. We can listen, too, as we carry the message. Prayer surrounds us every moment. We can fuel our inner flame with the messages received from others. We can let our spirit spring forth, let it warm our hearts and the hearts of others.
We each have a friend whose flame may be flickering today. I will help her and thus myself. A steady flame can rekindle one that's flickering.


You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
Letting Go
Stop trying so hard to control things. It is not our job to control people, outcomes, circumstances, and life. Maybe in the past we couldn't trust and let things happen. But we can now. The way life is unfolding is good. Let it unfold.
Stop trying so hard to do better, be better, and be more. Who we are and the way we do things is good enough for today.
Who we were and the way we did things yesterday was good enough for that day.
Ease up on ourselves. Let go. Stop trying so hard.
Today, I will let go. I will stop trying to control everything. I will stop trying to make myself be and do better, and I will let myself be.


Today I release all thoughts and feelings that cause me harm. I am learning to put all fears aside and come from the place of truth and love. The rewards of this freedom are far greater than the negative results of my fear. --Ruth Fishel

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Journey To The Heart

Be Vulnerable with Yourself

As we go through our days, we meet many people. We learn it’s safe to be vulnerable with some, not so safe or wise to be vulnerable with others. But there is one person it’s always safe to be vulnerable with. Yourself.

Share your deepest secrets with yourself. Whether you rise early in the morning and write your thoughts in a journal or take a few moments throughout the day to bring your deepest secrets to consciousness, you need to be clear, straight, and honest with yourself. Harboring secrets, ducking, dodging, and hiding from the truth will slow you down. It will block the pathway to your heart. It can even stop you cold if you get enough secrets tucked away.

Take time each day to recognize what you think, what you feel. You don’t have to act. The sheer acts of recognition, honesty, and acceptance are all that are necessary to keep you moving, growing, going forward.

Be as vulnerable as you saflely can with those you meet along the way. But always be vulnerable with yourself.

**************************************************

More Language Of Letting Go

Say how it feels intuitively

The first time intuition clonked me over the head is a story I’ve told many times in my writing. I was in treatment for chemical dependency at the time; I needed a job to get out. I had searched the ads and applied for every opportunity I thought I deserved. No job was too small, meager, or humble to overlook in the application process. No one wanted to hire me. I looked for weeks, months, without success.

One day, I was at the end of my resources. I was waiting for a bus to take me back to the hospital, where the treatment center was located, when a small voice in my heart urged, Look behind you. I did. I was standing in front of a bank. Next to it was a stairway leading to an attorney’s office, on the second floor.

Go upstairs and ask to talk to the head of the law firm. Tell him you want a job, were the words I heard next.

That’s crazy, I though. It doesn’t make any sense. But I did it anyway. That still, small voice kept urging me on. When I talked to the attorney, I told him where I lived and what was going on in my life. He said he understood; someone in his family had experienced problems with chemical dependency,too. Then he looked at me and said, “It’s funny you came in. I was thinking about creating a new position for a legal secretary in my office, but I haven’t gotten around to advertising yet.”

Two weeks later, he called me. I got the job. It was better than any I had applied for, it paid more, and it made the best possible use of the skills I possessed at that time.

We all have a special source of wisdom and guidance available to us, in times of trouble and in the day-to-day workings of our lives.

When faced with a dilemma, take a moment. Feel out the situation. Get out of your head. Make at least one decision intuitivley today.

God, help me trust my intuitive powers.

**************************************************

In God’s Care

True happiness, we are told, consists in getting out of one’s self, but the point is not only to get out – you must stay out; and to stay out you must have some absorbing errand.
~~Henry James

When we are down, when everything seems to be going wrong for us, that’s when we probably notice that for some time our attention has been on ourselves. We may be concentrating on what we want and how we’re not getting it. We might be thinking of all the ways we have been slighted or ignored or rejected, and be keeping score.

It’s trite to say that we can get out of this painful self-absorption only by helping someone else, but it’s true. Helping others is a way to help ourselves. It is a spiritual principle, and our program is based on this principle of love for one another.

I will remember that happiness may be found in getting out of myself.

************************************************** ***************

Day By Day

Making progress

As addicts, we have a disease, as recovering addicts it is important for us to recognize that we are getting better. It is exciting and encouraging to see how we are changing.

We are sick, but we are getting better. For example, it used to be that every time something went wrong, we had to run; now we just want to run. The running feeling is still there, but we now have a choice. Later, by the grace of God, we may not even want to run.

Can I see the progress I am making?

Higher Power, while I know there is always room for improvement, help me see the progress I have already made.

I will seek to improve myself today by…

************************************************** ***************

Food for Thought

OA Unity

When we come into OA, we are amazed to find so many other people with the same problems and difficulties. We are even more amazed at the stories we hear of the successful solution of these problems, which have defeated us for so long.

We are united in our common illness – compulsive overeating – and we are united in our common program of recovery – abstinence and the Twelve Steps. What we could not accomplish alone, by our own efforts, becomes possible through the strength of the group and the Higher Power.

Each of us is responsible for the life of OA. We each have a role to play and an area in which to serve. If we do not do our part, the organization as a whole is weakened. By our service to the common goals, our own program is strengthened. “Letting someone else do it” will not work. Saying yes when there is a job that I can do is what maintains OA unity and my own recovery.

May I contribute to OA unity.

************************************************** ***************

Compulsive Apologies
The Feeling Underneath

by Madisyn Taylor

Apologizing chronically can be a sign that you are not feeling that you have much self worth.


Many people suffer with the tendency to apologize all the time, chronically, for everything. On the one hand, apologizing is a social convention that keeps interactions between people polite, and in that way it can be very helpful. On the other hand, if we find ourselves apologizing for everything, it might be time to look at why we feel compelled to say “I’m sorry” so often. Ultimately, saying you’re sorry is saying that you are responsible for something that has gone wrong in the situation. Whether it’s negotiating a parking spot, moving through the aisles of the supermarket, or reaching for what you want, there are times when sorry is the right thing to say. But there are other times when “excuse me” is more accurate.

Sometimes saying you’re sorry is like saying that the other person in the equation has more of a right to be here than you do. Of course, it’s true that using the word sorry can simply be an innocuous way of defusing tension. However, if you find that you say sorry all the time, you might want to look a little deeper and see where in your psyche that might be coming from. If it’s a pattern, breaking it may simply take some awareness and practice.

The first step is observing yourself each time you say it, without being hard on yourself about it. Throughout your day simply notice when you apologize. At first, you might be surprised to see that you do it even more than you first realized. After a day or two of simply observing, try to tune in to what it is you are feeling right before you say it. You might be feeling threatened, embarrassed, intensely anxious, or a variety of other feelings. Over time, try to stop yourself before the words come out and just be with the feeling that’s there. You may recognize it as one from your childhood, one that’s been with you for a long time. The more you are able to see it, the freer you will be not to be sorry all the time. Published with permission from Daily OM

**************************************************

A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

Over and over, I see that those who make the best and steadiest progress in The Program are those who readily accept the help of a Higher Power. Once they can do that, it’s easier for them to get out of their own way. Their problems then seem to resolve themselves in a way that is beyond human understanding. Do I realize that the effectiveness with which I use the consciousness of God in my daily life depends not on Him, but on me?

Today I Pray

May I know that my recovery and growth depends on my being in touch with my Higher Power, not just once in a while, but always. It means turning to that Power several times a day to ask for strength and knowledge of his will. When I understand that my own life is part of a Higher Plan, I will be less apt to trip and fall, head off in the wrong direction, or just to sit tight and let life pass me by.

Today I Will Remember

to be God-conscious.

**************************************************

One More Day

One of the signs of maturity is a healthy respect for reality — a respect that manifests its4elf in the level of one’s aspirations and in the accuracy of one’s assessment of the difficulties which separate the facts of today from the bright hopes of tomorrow.
– Robert H. Davies

If we don’t want to live our lives caught in the “what might have been” doldrums, we can assess where we are and how we happen to be here. We can stop feeling regretful about lost t9ime and concentrate on the possibilities now.

If we haven’t achieved any of the goals we previously set for ourselves, we can make new goals and achieve each of them one step at a time. We have the rest of our lives to live, and we can realistically shape new goals that are both challenging and reachable.

I will set realistic goals, realizing there is never a better time than now.

[bluidkiti]

July 28

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
One law for lion and ox is oppression. --William Blake
What would the forest be like if deer, squirrel, and owl alike were required to sleep only at noon? Or the sky, if all birds were forced by law to fly in lines? Or the sea, if all fish had to stay forever in schools? We all know a lion and an ox, and we've all acted like a chicken, jackass, goat, or fox. Now and then we're slow or fast, bright or dull, willing or not.
So when others go the way we know we must go, we will follow the same law. But we don't have to be as others are, just to avoid being thought "strange." How truly strange life would be if everyone were the same. We have our own way, our own good time, and own free laws to discover and obey.
Will I need to obey someone else's rules if I govern myself well?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
I am ill because my mind is in a rut and refuses to leave. --Karen Giordino
We are vulnerable human beings. We are susceptible to accidents and disease, and we can get bogged down in unhealthy thinking. We aren't at fault when we catch a cold or get a more serious illness, and accidents can happen to anyone. In the same way our addictions and the addictions of people we are close to are not our fault. We never asked for these afflictions, yet we must deal with them.
Physical and spiritual health can't be separated. A thriving spiritual life creates an environment for physical healing and strength. In the same way, physical well-being infuses our spirit with hope and joy. Human beings cannot go through life without sometimes being ill in either mind or body. Living by this program helps make us healthier in all ways. When we are bogged down, we can turn to one of the Steps as a means of healing and release.
Today, I will remember that lama whole man, with body and spirit as one. As I turn to the Steps, my whole being is healed.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
The beauty of loving someone is the feeling of "wholeness" that I experience. The need for that individual in my life, the "I'm part of you and you're part of me" feeling that connects two people and makes them necessary to each other. --Kathleen Andrus
All that is asked of us by our Creator is that we love one another. Where love doesn't flow easily, perhaps we can just decide to not hurt someone. If we each avoided hurting all people, for just one day, lives would be transformed. We'd each see the world with a fresh perspective.
The more we love others, any others, the deeper our love will grow for all others. Loving lifts our hearts and lightens our burdens. Every day's tribulations can become triumphs when we carry love in our hearts. Love fills us up, and the more we share it, the fuller we become.
We are connected--each of us to one another, all of us together. Our contributions to the whole are necessary. Its completion is made perfect by our presence.
As I pass a friend today, I will be grateful for her contribution to my wholeness, too.


You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
Fear
One day, I decided to try something new. I took my ten year old son out on the St. Croix River on a Waverunner. A Waverunner is a small boating vehicle resembling a motorcycle.
We donned life jackets and embarked on an experience that turned out to be both exhilarating and frightening; exhilarating when I let myself enjoy it; frightening when I thought too much about what I was doing and all the terrible things that could happen.
Midway though our ride, my worst fear came true. We took a spill. We were floundering in thirty feet of water. The Waverunner was bobbing on the waves in front of me, like a motorized turtle on it back.
"Don't panic," my son said calmly.
"What if we drown?" I objected.
"We can't," he said. "We have life jackets on. See! We're floating."
"The machine is upside down," I said. "How are we going to turn it over?"
"Just like the man said," my son answered. "The arrow points this way."
With an easy gesture, we turned the machine right side up. "What if we can't climb back on?" I asked.
"We can," my son replied. "That's what Waverunners were made for: climbing on in the water."
I relaxed and as we drove off, I wondered why I had become so frightened. I thought maybe it's because I don't trust my ability to solve problems. Maybe it's because once I almost drowned when I wasn't wearing a life jacket.
But you didn't drown then either; a small voice inside reassured me. You survived.
Don't panic.
Problems were made to be solved. Life was made to be lived. Although sometimes we may be in over our heads - yes, we may even go under for a few moments and gulp a few mouthfuls of water, we won't drown. We're wearing - and always have been wearing - a life jacket. That support jacket is called "God."
Today, I will remember to take care of myself. When I get in over my head, God is there supporting me - even when my fears try to make me forget.


It is exciting to know that I am at choice today and that my choices are limitless. I can choose exactly what I want to do to change how I am feeling. --Ruth Fishel

**************************************************

Journey To The Heart

Acknowledge Your Fears

I never knew how afraid I was. Maybe I was even too afraid to look at my fears.

People speak of facing fear of not being afraid of fear, of working through fear. How do we do that? Try this technique, recommended to me by a healing professional. Take out a sheet of paper and pencil, and write down everything you fear. Take as much time as you need. Let it roll out. Don’t be afraid of what you see. Some of your fears may be of the unknown. Write as much as you can about those,too.

We don’t need to list everything we need to do about each fear. All we need to do is acknowledge, honestly, what we fear. Once we do, the way will become clear. Acknowledging our fears will give us power. Acknowledging our fears will help set us free. Often, it moves us to the next place. It is the barrier we need to pass through.

Although some of our fears may be real, may be grounded in reality, facing them won’t make us more afraid. Facing our fears will bring us peace and power. The truth isn’t the enemy. Fear of the truth is the enemy.

Be gentle with yourself. Let yourself have your fears, and let yourself face them.

Having the wisdom to face the truth will bring us closer to peace.

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More Language Of Letting Go

Turn the switch on

Many of us have turned off our intuition switch, our sense of knowing the truth. We may have turned it off when were children, because our parents lied to us. Or we may have turned the switch off later on in life to be in relationship to people who were lying to themselves and us. Our inner voice, our sense of knowing the truth, had to be turned off in order for us to remain in the situation.

It is time to turn the intuition switch back on. Go into your circuit-breaker room and turn it on. You know and can feel it when somebody is lying to you. You may not know it right away, but you can tell before long. You know if you trust or mistrust somebody. And you probably know the truth right now about how you feel.

Can you trust yourself? Stop doubting. Begin trusting and listening to what you know is the truth.

You know when a thing feels right to you, and you know when it doesn’t. The problem isn’t that your intuition doesn’t work. The problem is that sometimes you choose to ignore it.

God, help me listen when you speak. Help me trust the radar you’ve built into me.

Activity: This is a meditation to help you activate your intuitive powers. Get yourself in a relaxed position, either sitting in a comfortable chair or lying on a couch. Spend a few minutes consciously relaxing your entire body, starting with your head, your face, then moving downward to your toes. Then picture yourself at the bottom of a staircase, standing in front of a door with your name on it. Open the door and go into the room. In this room are a lot of switches, similar to a circuit-breaker room. Look for the switch marked “Intuition.” See yourself going over to the switch, then turning it on. If it needs any repairs, see yourself making those repairs. If you’re having difficulty turning it on, ask what the problem is, what you need to clear up before you can turn it on. Once the switch is turned on, leave the room. Lock the door behind you; then walk back up the stairs and slowly move back into awareness. Whenever your intuition falters, check the switch in your switch room to make certain your switch is on.

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In God’s Care

When you betray sombody else, you also betray yourself.
~~Isaac Bashevis Singer

Any action or expression we make toward another comes back to us. Maybe not today, but it assuredly returns: we do sow what we reap. If we treat others hatefully, or with disdain and suspicion, we eventually get the same in return. And we can also have a love-filled, affirming life if we willingly, gladly, and honestly offer our love to others with no conditions.

We can bring ourselves misery or happiness through our actions. With the help of our Higher Power, we can sow only what we want to reap. It’s a small decision to turn within for guidance. Although it takes practice to remember to let our Higher Power direct our actions, it will become a habit in time – the healthiest habit we’ll ever develop.

I will experience what I give to others through my actions today.

************************************************** ****************

Day By Day

Testing the fellowship

Early in recovery, we may find ourselves testing the fellowship to see how much others will respond to us. Out of fear, anxiety, loneliness, or frustration, we may act out. But as wonderful as our fellowship is, it’s not a permanent bond; it will not hold up against repeated assaults and excessive demands.

When fellowship members have had enough, they may frankly object. We may feel hurt and rejected. If we then overreact and reject the fellowship, we lose. And so does the fellowship. We need to learn what issues we have along with chemical dependency and how to deal with them. We need to learn that the fellowship needs the care and respect we’d give any relationship.

Am I treating the fellowship and myself well?

Higher Power, help me understand my individual issue and to get help with them.

Today I will show respect for myself and the fellowship by…

************************************************** ***************

Food for Thought

God Cares

It may be hard to believe that the Power of the universe is concerned with everything we do, including how and what we eat. The awareness that God does indeed care about the minute details of our daily existence comes to us as we see evidence of that care. When we turn to Him and trust His support, we see that our lives go more smoothly.

When we are relying on our Higher Power for the little things as well as the big ones, our timing improves. We are at the right place at the right time. We do not waste energy trying to do what we are not meant to do. The way opens up in front of us and we pass through difficulties unscathed.

We can believe that God is concerned with our recovery from compulsive overeating. He is health and wholeness, and we are made in His image. All that prevents us from receiving His healing care is our ignorance and self-will. Through this program we learn how to accept God’s care.

We are grateful for the knowledge that You care.

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As Blessed as You Want to Be
The Power of Staying Positive

Positive thinking dramatically increases your chances of success in any endeavor.


Our thoughts are not simply ethereal pieces of information that enter our minds and then disappear. The words and ideas that we think can shape our lives and drive us toward success and happiness or failure and distress. How you think and feel can have a profound effect on your ability to recognize opportunity, how well you perform, and the outcome of the goals that you’ve set for yourself. When you maintain an optimistic outlook and make an effort to harbor only positive thoughts, you begin to create the circumstances conducive to you achieving what you desire. You feel in control and few of life’s challenges seem truly overwhelming because it is in your nature to expect a positive conclusion. An optimistic mind is also an honest one. Staying positive does not mean that you ignore difficulties or disregard limitations. Instead, it means spending time focusing only on the thoughts that are conducive to your well-being and progress.

Positive thinking dramatically increases your chances of success in any endeavor. When you’re sure that you are worthy and that achievement is within your grasp, you start to relax and look for solutions rather than dwelling on problems. You are more likely to imagine positive situations or outcomes and disregard the thoughts related to giving up, failure, or roadblocks. What the mind expects, it finds. If you anticipate joy, good health, happiness, and accomplishment, then you will experience each one. Thinking positively may sound like a simple shift in attention – and it is – but it is a mind-set that must be developed. Whenever a negative thought enters your mind, try immediately replacing it with a constructive or optimistic one. With persistence, you can condition your mind to judge fleeting, self-defeating thoughts as inconsequential and dismiss them.

It is within your power to become as happy, content, or successful as you make up your mind to be. Staying positive may not have an immediate effect on your situation, but it will likely have a profound and instantaneous effect on your mood and the quality of your experiences. In order for positive thinking to change your life, it must become your predominant mind-set. Once you are committed to embracing positive thinking, you’ll start believing that everything that you want is within your grasp. Published with permission from Daily OM

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A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

We learn the value of mediation in The Program. As the beginning of the Eleventh Step suggest, we see through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as We understand Him. One of the great values of meditation is that it clears the mind. And as the mind becomes clearer, it becomes more capable and willing to acknowledge the truth. less pain is required to force honesty recognition of defects and their results. The real need of the whole person are revealed. Are prayer and meditation a regular part of my daily living?

Today I Pray

May God’s truth be revealed to me through meditation and these small prayers, through contact with my group which keeps me mindful of my need to clear my mind with daily meditation. For only an uncluttered mind can receive God; only a mind cleansed of self-interest can acknowledge the truth.

Today I Will Remember

.Meditation is a mind-cleanser

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One More Day

Life is not a “brief candle.” It is a splendid torch that I want to make burn as brightly as possible before handing it on to future generations.
– George Bernard Shaw

How lucky we are to have the splendid torch of our lives shining on our days. Some may think that a health problem is going to become a permanent barrier to our ability to enjoy life.

If we assume that each one of our “small candles” represents another of our strengths, we can blend them together to form a torch of hope. How we live the rest of our lives — forty months or forty years — is entirely our own making. Let the torch shine!

The possibilities of my life are endless when I am willing to see them and act on them.

[bluidkiti]

July 29

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
A good marriage is that in which each appoints the other guardian of his solitude. --Rainer Maria Rilke
Solitude is vital to our well being, but in a family it's hard sometimes to find the space and time to be alone. The house is often crowded with laughter, voices, the radio, and the TV. There are often many things going on at the same time.
It's true that our family is a team, and that we work together, whether we intend to or not, to create the environment we live in. If it's noisy, that's the way we live. Noise is life to some. The fact that others need our help or company is wonderful proof of our value. But if we can be guardians of each other's solitude, out of love for one another, we will each come back renewed, strengthened, and recreated. We can bring new life into our days when we are alone with God and ourselves.
How can I help someone find rest and renewal today?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
Change and growth take place when a person has risked himself and dares to become involved with experimenting with his own life. --Herbert Otto
The rewards of our new life are apparent to us because of how we feel, and apparent to others by what they can see. Many of us had reached our bottom point, and we felt there was no risk in trying a program of recovery. Yet, we still had some distorted security in our harmful ways of relating to others or in our addictions. Letting go was an experiment. This program gives us guidelines for experimenting with our life for growth, and we continue growing everyday.
Some of our benefits are increased confidence and self respect, more intimacy with our partner, better friendships, and better physical health. We feel these changes in ourselves, and we see them in the other men and women in this program.
Today, I am grateful for the rewards in my life from this experiment in recovery.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
Harmony exists in difference no less than in likeness, if only the same keynote governs both parts. --Margaret Fuller
Harmony exists everywhere, as an entity of itself. Our personal attitudes bring the disharmony to a situation. An attitude of love can bless all situations and all people.
The converse is likewise true. We all desire harmony in our relationships. And we will find it, every time we bring an attitude of honest gratitude into a situation.
How we feel, today, about this person or that situation, reflects the strength of our relationship with God. When we experience life in the company of our higher power, we will let life flow. We will observe harmony, then, even in the midst of difference.
All of life's elements are moving toward a state of total and perfect harmony. We need not fear. We can trust the company of our higher power and know that every situation, no matter how adverse its appearance, is contributing to a harmonious outcome if we'd but lend a trusting attitude.
Harmony is everywhere. I will celebrate it. I will trust the present. I will trust the future.


You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
Have Some Fun
Have some fun. Loosen up a bit. Enjoy life!
We do not have to be so somber and serious. We do not have to be so reflective, so critical, so bound up within the rigid parameters and ourselves others, and often ourselves, have placed around us.
This is life, not a funeral service. Have some fun with it. Enter into it. Participate. Experiment. Take a risk. Be spontaneous. Do not always be so concerned about doing it right, doing the appropriate thing.
Do not always be so concerned about what others will think or say. What they think and say are their issues not ours. Do not be so afraid of making a mistake. Do not be so fearful and proper. Do not inhibit yourself so much.
God did not intend us to be so inhibited, so restricted, so controlled. These repressive parameters are what other people have imposed on us, what we have allowed to be done to us.
We were created fully human. We were given emotions, desires, hopes, dreams, feelings. There is an alive, excited, fun loving child in us somewhere! Let it come out! Let it come alive! Let it have some fun - not just for two hours on Saturday evening. Bring it with us. Let it help us enjoy this gift of being alive, being fully human, and being who we are!
So many rules. So much shame we've lived with. It simply isn't necessary. We have been brainwashed. It is time now to free ourselves, let ourselves go, and enter fully human into a full life.
Don't worry. We will learn our lessons when necessary. We have learned discipline. We will not go awry. What will happen is that we will begin enjoying life. We will begin enjoying and experiencing our whole self. We can trust ourselves. We have boundaries now. We have our program for a foundation. We can afford to experiment and experience. We are in touch with our Higher Power and ourselves. We are being guided, but a frozen, inanimate object cannot be guided. it cannot even be moved.
Have some fun. Loosen up a bit. Break a few rules. God won't punish us. We do not have to allow people to punish us. And we can stop punishing ourselves. As long as we're here and alive, let's begin to live.
Today, I will let myself have some fun with life. I will loosen up a bit, knowing I won't crack and break. God, help me let go of my need to be so inhibited, proper, and repressed. Help me inject a big dose of life into myself by letting myself be fully alive and human.


Today I know I'm being guided and protected on my path for growth and freedom. All the positive energy in the universe is working for my greatest good. All I have to do is put one foot in front of the other. --Ruth Fishel

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Journey To The Heart

What’s Your Handicap?

“What’s your handicap?” the golfer asked his partner. “My childhood,” said his companion.

Some handicaps are physical, certain limitations placed on our bodies. Other handicaps are emotional, burdens of heartache from sad or abusive childhoods. Others may be dealing with current issues– perhaps facing a terminal illness or grieving an irreparable loss.

After losing my son, I found myself at a point where I simply could no longer stand the agony of waiting for my pain to disappear. I knew that all my life I would miss him, and I became absolutely despondent. There is no way out of this, I thought. I’m spending my life waiting for this pain to disappear so I can begin living my life again. But the pain never will disappear. And I’ll never begin living my life again. That’s when a gentle idea began to change my life.

I began to understand that I was living and working with a handicap. The loss would always be there. The pain and heartache would always be present. I could accept that, treat it as a handicap, and within that framework go ahead and live my life once more. The moment I made that decision, my attitude and perspective changed. I was able to go on, able to move forward.

Many of us are living with handicaps. Some will change over time, but others won’t. If that’s the case, stop waiting for your handicap to disappear. Instead, decide to live with it. Work around it. Treat yourself with care, with gentleness. Allow yourself to feel and experience all the limitations and emotions of your present situation. Accept them. Let them be part of you, part of your experience.

Despite living with a handicap, go ahead and treat yourself to life.

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More Language Of Letting Go

Let your intuition help guide you

Paying very close attention to your intuition is perhaps the most important rule of all.
–Lynn Hill

For many years, I used intuition or spiritual guidance only in times of deep need, crisis, or despair. It was a last resort. I didn’t know the word intuition. What I knew then was to plow forward, figure things out in my head as best as I could, then proceed. Occasionally, I would find myself backed into a corner or at a dead end. Then, and only then would I go to intuition.

And I didn’t go to it. It came to me.

Over the years, intuition has become critically important. I recently made a friend who is a highly intuitive woman. She would encourage me to learn to go with the flow and relax.

“Practice at the grocery store,” she said. “Practice using your intuition in the small details of your life, those times you don’t think it matters. If you practice using your intuition in the smaller details, you’ll begin to be able to trust your intuition in important matters,too.”

“I can’t,” I said.

“Yes, you can,” she said. “Just practice.”

Over the years, I slowly moved toward intuition, and away from solely rational thought. It was an awkward journey. I was propelled along the road after Shane died. For a long period, I was deeply into my emotions. I came to rely on my intuition, more and more.

Now, intuitive guidance is a regular part of my daily life.

But for those who feel as awkward and stymied about accessing intuition as I once did let me give you a few ideas that have helped me.

. Consciously relax. When an issue or a decision needs to be made, small or large, relax first. Do not panic or become tense. Responding with panic will block our connection to intuition.

. Ask yourself, What feels right? This answer will arise from a peaceful, nonemotional place, not a place of urgency or fear. If more than one choice or solution comes to mind, feel out each solution. Does one feel bland and lifeless? Does one feel heavy and dark? Does one solution feel lighter and right?

. If you don’t know what to do, let it go. Go do something else, occupy your busy, rational mind. Often, an intuitive thought will pop into our minds later, when we stop trying to force the answer.

As with most other areas of our lives, practicing to relax and learning to trust ourselves is the key. Often, the intuitive answer is something that feels like the natural thing to do. Sometimes our intuition tells us to do something that looks absurd at first glance.

Honor this connection we all have to information beyond the scope of rational thought. You’ll make silly mistakes from time to time. Most of us do. And don’t discount the power of rational thought and plain common sense. But in times of indecision, let intuition be a regular, not a last resort, resource you rely upon.

God, help me relax and listen to that still, small voice. Help me remember that when I listen to my intuition, I’m listening to one of the ways that you speak to me.

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In God’s Care

Know all and you will pardon all.
~~Thomas a’ Kempis

We are quick to forgive our own transgressions because we know ourselves. We know our weaknesses, motivations, and the combination of influences that go into the decisions we make.

But we don’t know everything that prompts others’ attitudes and behaviors. We have no way of knowing if they are in physical pain, or if they have just suffered some emotional blow. We criticize many people without knowing anything about their experiences. If we were to know more about them, we might be more tolerant. God does know – and forgives everything. We can ber forgiving also.

I will remember today that everyone is deserving of my forgiveness.

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Day By Day

Looking for the answers

We are learning that the geographical cure does not guarantee staying clean and sober. As the saying has it, no mater where you go, there you are. We are learning that it’s better to look for the answers in ourselves and our program than in a different city or country.

No person, place, or thing will keep us clean and sober. Recovery is in our program, in our hearts, and in the “still small voice within.”

Do I know where to look for answers?

Higher Power, help me see that I will find answers only in my soul and not in distant places.

Today I will look within by…

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Food for Thought

Always Abstinence

As recovering compulsive overeaters, we have a fixed focal point of reference. Abstinence is the most important thing in our lives without exception.

What began, as weakness has become strength. Whatever happens to us, we know that by maintaining abstinence we will be able to cope. As long as abstinence controls our self-destructive inner enemy, we are able to function effectively.

This does not mean that we will be free from problems. Abstaining does not get rid of all of our difficulties. There will be times when we are depressed, anxious, afraid, angry, bored, and in pain. To be alive is to be subject to these negative emotions, as well as the positive ones, which we enjoy.

By abstaining, we are able to face reality instead of escaping into a worse predicament. No matter how difficult the day, it has been a good one for the compulsive overeater who has abstained.

I pray for abstinence always.

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Personal Tales
Writing Your Story

by Madisyn Taylor

We all have a story to tell whether we publish it or keep it for just ourselves or family; allow yourself to be heard.



Everyone, at one time or another, has wanted to express his or her story. Writing a memoir to read privately, share with family or friends, or publish is an emotionally satisfying way to gain perspective on your experiences while sharing your unique voice. We’ve all experienced feelings and events in our lives that we are longing to write down. Giving in to that urge can give you an outlet for purging any frustration, anxiety, or long-dormant feelings. No one else has to read it. You may even want to write your story without reading it right away. Satisfying the need to tell your story is not predicated upon your writing ability. It does, however take effort to write down the truth in detail. Your memories, captured on paper as descriptive scenes, sights, sounds, and scents, may at first seem disconnected or incomplete. But rest assured that you possess the ability to shape your recollections into stories.

Everyone wants to be heard. Reading your story to others can meet that need. Writing your story can also help you understand your life experiences. And when you finish writing, you may be surprised at what you have accomplished. Your story can encompass as much or as little of your life as you prefer. You may surprise yourself with new insights, or you may find yourself exploring your roots, your identity, and your future through your words. Allow your writing to guide you and write as truthfully as possible. Don’t worry about what others will think of your personal journey, your style of writing, or your words.

Research has shown that writing a personal narrative filled with feelings and perceptions can create long-term health benefits. As you write, remember to have compassion for yourself, particularly when writing about traumatic events. If you are a young person, you can add to your life story as you grow older. Your writing may help family members know you better, or they may understand themselves more through reading about your experiences. More importantly, you are expressing yourself in a permanent way, giving a gift to yourself, and letting your voice be heard. Published with permission from Daily OM

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A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

The feeling of self-pity, which we’ve all suffered at one time or another, is one of the ugliest emotions we can experience. We don’t even relish the thought of admitting to others that we’re awash in self-pity. We hate being told that it shows; we quickly argue that we’re feeling another emotion instead; we go so far as to “cleverly” hide from ourselves the fact that we’re going through a siege of “poor-meism.” By the same token, in a split-second we can easily find feeling sorry for ourselves. Do I sometimes enjoy rubbing salt into my own wounds?

Today I Pray

May I recognize the emotions I am feeling for what they are. If I am unable to point them out to myself, may I count on others who know what it’s like to be a feelings-stuffer. May I stay in touch with my feelings by staying in touch with my Higher Power and with the others in my group.

Today I Will Remember

Stay in touch.

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One More Day

Positive Attitudes — optimism, high self-esteem, and outgoing nature, joyousness, and the ability to cope with stress — when established early in life, may be the most important basis for continued good health.
– Helen Hayes

Positive attitudes and high self-esteem are wonderful attributes, but not all of us are lucky enough to develop them early in our lives. Because we haven’t developed strong coping strategies doesn’t mean we don’t have the opportunity now. It’s hard to change, and we can only do it if it becomes important for us to make th effort.

When we are going through stressful times, especially to those times related to a health problem, we can develop our courage by acting “as if” we have high self-esteem, “as if” we can cope well. Remarkable, we may find that we do.

A time of high stress has forced me to face my own character deficits. I am working on developing positive attitudes.

[bluidkiti]

July 30

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
The hopeful man sees success where others see failure, sunshine where others see shadows and storm. --O. S. Marden
When wise men say, "Hope springs eternal," they are reminding us that no matter how great are the obstacles, the hope of winning out in the long run still exists. Hope is our friend when all else has failed. When we have strength of character and an energetic mind, hope always flourishes.
We discover that, at the very brink of despair, we will find courage to keep trying as long as there is hope for success. After all, what have we got to lose? Without hope, we have no chance, anyway. Our chance for glory comes when we keep trying even though all seems lost. Our hearts remain strong and brave when hope reminds us that challenges last until a game is over.
What light of hope can I keep burning within me today?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
Many could forego heavy meals, a full wardrobe, a fine house, et cetera; it is the ego they cannot forego. --Mohandas Gandhi
We inevitably confront our ego in this program. We face our macho self, our powerful self, or our always-right self. We have developed many trappings, which give us an identity: our car, our stereo system, our job, our popularity, or our place to sit in church. The more attached we are to these trappings, the tougher it is for us to make progress on this spiritual path.
In stepping across a stream we must leave the side we are on in order to get to the other side. The repeated challenge in our spiritual life is to leave the secure trappings we know and take comfort in the still unknown new self. That is the leap of faith. We take the risk and trust something will be there for us. We have faith that letting go of our immediate attachments will bring us to a better place, that God will be there for us.
I will let go of external images and use my faith to take the leap forward.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
It is the creative potential itself in human beings that is the image of God. --Mary Daly
God's presence is within us, now and always, even though we feel alone, alienated, scared, and forgotten much of the time. We often overlook God's presence because we don't recognize it. Our talents, our desires, and our pursuits are the evidence--all the evidence we'll ever need once we understand it--that God is present within and about us all the time.
The creative potential goes unrealized among so many of us, perhaps because we have a rigid definition of what creativity is. We are creative. We are all, each of us, creative. We must be because God's presence is here now. When we choose to let it guide us, we'll be able to offer our own unique gifts to the world of friends around us. Encouraging creativity, our own and someone else's, may mean breaking old habits. It surely does mean stepping out of our own way. It also means giving ourselves fully to the experience of the moment and trusting that God's presence will prompt the deliverance of our special gift.
In the moment lives God within us. In the moment I am creative, blessed with gifts like no other. I will stay in the moment and offer them, guided by the God within.


You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
Accepting Powerlessness
Since I've been a child, I've been in an antagonistic relationship with an important emotional part of myself: my feelings. I have consistently tried to ignore, repress, or force my feelings away. I have tried to create unnatural feelings or force away feelings that were present.
I've denied I was angry, when in fact I was furious. I have told myself there must be something wrong with me for feeling angry, when anger was a reasonable and logical response to the situation.
I have told myself things didn't hurt, when they hurt very much. I have told myself stories such as "That person didn't mean to hurt me." . . . "He or she doesn't know any better." . . . "I need to be more understanding." The problem was that I had already been too understanding of the other person and not understanding and compassionate enough with myself.
It has not just been the large feelings I have been at war with; I have been battling the whole emotional aspect of myself. I have tried to use spiritual energy, mental energy, and even physical exertion to not feel what I need to feel to be healthy and alive.
I didn't succeed at my attempts to control emotions. Emotional control has been a survival behavior for me. I can thank that behavior for helping me get through many years and situations where I didn't have any better options. But I have learned a healthier behavior - accepting my feelings.
We are meant to feel. Part of our dysfunction is trying to deny or change that. Part of our recovery means learning to go with the flow of what we're feeling and what our feelings are trying to tell us.
We are responsible for our behaviors, but we do not have to control our feelings. We can let them happen. We can learn to embrace, enjoy, and experience - feel - the emotional part of ourselves.
Today, I will stop trying to force and control my emotions. Instead, I will give power and freedom to the emotional part of myself.


I am developing new and positive habits today. I am putting all my energy into moving forward and building a healthy life. --Ruth Fishel

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Journey To The Heart

Find Your Own Healing Places

When I arrived in Sedona, I met Marianne. She and her husband ran the lodge where I stayed.

“You’ll like it here,” she said. “You’ll find the healing you need.”

“Where should I look?” I asked. “Where should I go? What things should I be sure to do?”

“There is no map for that,” she quietly replied. “You’ll find your own places. They’ll call to you or you’ll call them to you. You’ll be drawn to what you need.”

Sometimes, along the way, people specifically point things out to us. We get a clear plan about where to go next. But we can also reach a place for which there is no map, no itinerary, no set agenda for how to find our way. That’s because we’re supposed to be trusting our heart.

This is an important place on the journey. It tells us our heart can be trusted. It’s a time of joy, a time of trusting what we’ve learned and what we know, a time of trusting the universe and discovering that that trust is well placed.

You don’t need to be shown what to do next. Your heart and soul will lead the way. You’ll learn to tell when something is right, when something works.

Learn to find places of healing. Learn to find people, places, events, and rituals that work for you. Don’t worry about how to find them or wait for someone to point them out. They’ll call to you, or you’ll call them into your life.

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More Language Of Letting Go

Trust that feeling

“Let’s turn here,” he said, turning down a short road. We had been looking for a new restaurant to try, and lately they had all been disappointments. The sign at the start of the road was weathered, and I remembered eating at the place it adveritsed years ago. I didn’t like it very much.

The restaurant had changed some inside. We sat at a walk-in table next to a window looking out on the Pacific Ocean. Our server was gracious and genuine. We ordered crab cakes for breakfast. They were the best crab cakes that I ever had, and we ended up going back for dinner that same night.

The restaurant has become a regular place for us because we ignored what we thought we knew and went with a feeling instead.

After all the omelets, waffles, and crab cakes that we’ve eaten at that restaurant since then, I’m glad that my boyfriend trusted his intuition and his intuitive whim. Both men and women have been given the gift of intuition. It’s not a gender-specific thing, though sometimes we encourage men to focus more on the logical than the intuitive.

Open up. Trust your heart when it whispers quietly to you. Start small. Go for a drive and on a whim take a road you’ve never traveled before. Gradually, as you become more tuned in to your intuitive feelings, they will guide you along your path. Sometimes your intuition will help you find a nice place to eat; sometimes they’ll guide you to a winning career path and sometimes to a best friend.

Listen to your heart. Sometimes you need to ignore what you think you know, and go with your intuition.

God, teach me to listen to my heart.

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In God’s Care

Conscience is, in most men, an anticipation of the opinions of others. ~~Sir Henry Taylor

We are no longer in doubt about the right actions to take toward others. The program’s Steps clarify what is appropriate behavior. Thus we know that doing any injury — physical or emotional — to other people harms us as well as them.

One of the many rewards of recovery is being free to live without guilt. Name-calling, harmful gossip, intentional put-downs, hateful rejections no longer provide the perverse pleasure of years gone by. We now recognize the subtle joy of sincere and loving efforts. We find this joy in calling a frend who is faced with a painful decision, picking up groceris for an elderly neighbor, extending our friendship to the new person at work. We no longer need the fear of what others will think to curb our spiteful actions.

Our conscience may still guide our actions at times, but as we grow in our recovery, we begin to intuitively now what keeps us on track and in sync with God.

I will follow my God-given intuition today

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Day By Day

Realizing the consequences

No matter who we are as individuals, we all bear the consequences of our lifestyle and behavior. High, we experience pain, suffering, grief, and eventually insanity or premature death. Clean and sober, we experience rewarding lives.

Getting clean and sober doesn’t mean that we suddenly become conformists. But whoever or whatever we become, we must practice kindness and tolerance. If we do, our lives will be meaningful in ways we cannot imagine.

Am I fully aware of the consequences of my choices?

Higher Power, help me become more thoughtful and patient.

Today I will take stock of my lifestyle by…

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Food for Thought

Focus on Living

Before we found this program, we were obsessed with food and preoccupied with eating. Instead of concentrating our energies on love and work and play, we were side tracked into the unsatisfactory substitute of overeating.

Abstinence gives us a new lease on life. We can develop more satisfying relationships with our family and friends. Since it has been our habit to withdraw and please ourselves with food, it takes time and effort to learn to relate more closely to those we love. It also takes courage and the willingness to be open and vulnerable.

In our work, we have renewed energy and greater ability to concentrate. Where before we may have avoided difficult tasks, we now have the strength and confidence to attempt them.

When we give up eating as a favorite form of recreation, we can find other activities to enjoy. Being released from bondage to food and fat opens the door to all sorts of new possibilities. Less eating means much more living.

We are grateful for new life.

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Parental Fears
Breaking Family Ties that Bind

by Madisyn Taylor

So often we come into this world carrying the fear of our parents as it is passed down to us and lived through us.


When we really examine our fears about something, we sometimes notice that the fear we have is not based on our own experience. Often, if we trace our fear back to its source, we find that one of our parents may have handed it down to us. For example, your mother or father may have had an intense fear of lack of money, stemming from their own life experiences. If that fear was not resolved by the time you came into the picture, chances are you inherited it. Meanwhile, you may have no actual experience of lacking money, so being fearful doesn’t make sense, and it may even block you from doing certain things you want to do.

Keeping in mind that your parents were only trying to protect you, and that most of the errors in judgment they made were made with the best intentions, it might be time to release this fear symbolically. You cannot resolve someone else’s fear for them, but you can decide to let go of it on your own behalf. Whether your parents are still alive or not, it is best to do this in a symbolic way, using visualization and, if you like, ritual. One simple visualization involves inviting your parent to sit across from you in your heart space and sharing your desire to move on from this fear, letting them know that you will not carry it anymore. You may be surprised at the response you get, because it’s possible they will be proud of you, grateful, and proud of your courage.

The more we do this deep inner work with our fears, the better we will be able to parent our own children without burdening them with fears that don’t belong to them. Some of us will do as much of this work as we can before we become parents, while others will be working on this even as our children become adults. Either way, the effects will be felt, because once we break our ties to the fears of the past, our children’s ties to those fears are greatly weakened, so it’s important to remember that it’s never too late. Published with permission from Daily OM

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A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

When we first come to The Program, the most common variety of self-pity begins: “Poor me! Why can’t I (fill in your own addiction) like everybody else? why me?” Such bemoaning, if allowed to persist, is a surefire invitation for a long walk off a pier — right back to the mess we were in before we came to The Program. When we stick around The Program for a while, we discover that it’s not just “me” at all; we become involved with people, from all walks of life, who are in exactly the same boat. Am I losing interest in my comfortably familiar “pity Pot?”

Today I Pray

When self-pity has me droopy and inert, may I look up, look around and perk up. Self-pity, God wills, vanishes in the light of other people’s shared troubles. may I always wish for friends honest enough to confront me if they see me digging my way back down into my old pity pit.

Today I Will Remember

Turn self-involvement into involvement.

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One More Day

There is nothing which we receive with so much reluctance as advice.
– Joseph Addison

As children, most of us were unreceptive to advice. Our parents offered words of warning and frequently we refused to hear because we needed independence.

Today, when friends or family members make suggestions, we might have some of the same reactions as we did as children. We still need independence, and some advice — no matter how well meant — carries with it the implication that we are less than capable of clearly seeing dangers or knowing our options. We;re better able now to weigh the messages we receive. We have two choices. When our loved ones offer suggestions that we know to be bad or inappropriate for us, we can remind ourselves that they are meant well and merely say thank you. When the advice is good, we can do the same thing.

I will listen carefully to all the loving advice given me.

[bluidkiti]

July 31

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
Sometimes it's worse to win a fight than to lose. --Billie Holiday
We all see things differently. It is part of the wonderful variety of the world that we all have different points of view. We've all seen baseball players arguing with an umpire over a close call, but, in order to play the game, they must accept the umpire's judgment.
When we stubbornly refuse to let friends or family members speak their ideas simply because we disagree with them, we risk the loss of a friend or the understanding of a family member. It is when we allow others to disagree that we take a step forward--a step that opens our ears and our hearts to all sorts of people and ideas.
How well can I accept other's opinions today?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
Look at the post as a bullet. Once it's fired it's finished. --Catherine Bauby
Today is before us as an unformed experience. Yesterday took its own shape, and whatever it was has now gone. Our only opportunities exist in what we will do this day. Perhaps we can enhance the day by starting with a review of yesterday and then letting go. What were the major events in our experiences yesterday? How do we feel about them? Is something left unfinished in our feelings or actions that we need to complete or repair today? Can we take yesterday's experience to build a better today?
We have centered ourselves in this day by reviewing where we just came from. We have taken a spot check inventory. Now we can let go of yesterday and move forward in the present. That does not mean we never think about the past again. It means we build on the past by learning from our experiences and letting them shape our activities now. In that way we draw ever closer into accord with the will of our Higher Power.
I will let go of the past by learning from it. I give myself to shaping today.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
Love doesn't just sit there like a stone, it has to be made, like brick; re-made all the time, made new. --Ursula K. LeGuin
We love to be loved; we love to be held; we love to be caressed. A show of appreciation we love too. And we love to know we've been heard. The friends, the spouses, the children in our lives want the same from us. Like a garden that needs water, sun, weeding to nurture the growth, so does love need attending to. To become whole and healthy women, we need tender nurturing. And we also need to give away what we get. Those we nurture will bless our growth.
Love is dynamic, not static. It is always changing, and it always changes those it enfolds. Since coming into this program where the sharing of oneself, the open expression of love, is profoundly evident, we each have changed. And our presence has changed others. We have learned to accept love and give it. But better yet, we have learned that we deserve love.
I will look around me today at others, and I will remember, my growth and theirs depends on loving and being loved. I will reach out. I can make love new.


You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
Letting Go of What We want
For those of us who have survived by controlling and surrendering, letting go may not come easily. --Beyond Codependency
In recovery, we learn that it is important to identify what we want and need. Where does this concept leave us? With a large but clearly identified package of currently unmet wants and needs. We've taken the risk to stop denying and to start accepting what we want and need. The problem is, the want or need hangs there, unmet.
This can be a frustrating, painful, annoying, and sometimes obsession-producing place to be.
After identifying our needs, there is a next step in getting our wants and needs met. This step is one of the spiritual ironies of recovery. The next step is letting go of our wants and needs after we have taken painstaking steps to identify them.
We let them go, we give them up - on a mental, emotional, spiritual, and physical level. Sometimes, this means we need to give up. It is not always easy to get to this place, but this is usually where we need to go.
How often I have denied a want or need, then gone through the steps to identify my needs, only to become annoyed, frustrated, and challenged because I don't have what I want and don't know how to get it. If I then embark on a plan to control or influence getting that want or need met, I usually make things worse. Searching, trying to control the process, does not work. I must, I have learned to my dismay, let go.
Sometimes, I even have to go to the point of saying, "I don't want it. I realize it's important to me, but I cannot control obtaining that in my life. Now, I don't care anymore if I have it or not. In fact, I'm going to be absolutely happy without it and without any hope of getting it, because hoping to get it is making me nuts - the more I hope and try to get it, the more frustrated I feel because I'm not getting it."
I don't know why the process works this way.
I know only that this is how the process works for me. I have found no way around the concept of letting go.
We often can have what we really want and need, or something better. Letting go is part of what we do to get it.
Today, I will strive to let go of those wants and needs that are causing me frustration. I will enter them on my goal list, then struggle to let go. I will trust God to bring me the desires of my heart, in God's time and in God's way.


My heart is full of gratitude today. I am free today to experience this day fully and to follow my spiritual path. I have been given a new day to live, to grow, to give love and to feel love. --Ruth Fishel

God help me to stay sober and clean today!

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Journey To The Heart

You Are Complete

Look around at all that lives, at all that is. See how connected each creation is to the workings of the universe. But see also that the essence of all that is, the core, lies within each. From the tiniest purple wildflower to the tallest redwood in the forest, each creation contains its own energy system, its own energy core for living. And so it is with us.

We’re intricately connected to the world. We receive energy, life-sustaining nourishment and support, from the world around us. But inside each of us is our own source for love, joy, and wisdom. Our ability to love, live, feel, and be happy comes from our own hearts.

Look inside yourself. Feel your vitality, your energy. Feel your essence. It is pure love. Everything you need in order to live and love is within you.

Nurture yourself. Let yourself grow. Learn to grow and walk in the ways of love. Learn from all who cross your path. Value your connections to others and the world around you. Receive and give freely as you walk down the road.

Take your place in the world. Know you are part of a complete universe. But remember, you are a complete universe,too.

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More Language Of Letting Go

Stay in the game

And it came to pass….
–The Bible

We can’t always be sure that things will always work out, but we will always have the strength to make it through. We can trust that eventually both the bad and the good will come to pass.

I’ve had the good ripped away from me and felt sorrow until I could drown. But it passed.

All I’m saying is that sometimes the bad guys win and the good guys lose. Sometimes it’s the other way around. Sometimes nothing that we do seems to swing the decision one way or the other, but we can always come back tomorrow. There’s a;ways another chance to play the game, dance, sweat, and cry. And maybe it’s the experience, not the outcome that is the true prize.

If you’re feeling a loss of strength or confidence, let go of the desperate need for a positive outcome in your life. Realize that this, too, will pass. Gain your strength from knowing that whether an event is good or bad, we’re enriched by our experiences. Only we can choose to learn from them or allow resentment and foolish expectations to destroy their value.

Dust yourself off. Pick yourself up. Step up to the plate and get back in the game.

God, give me hope, faith, and courage to live my life today.

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Food for Thought

Inner Guides

In a crisis situation, we cannot rely on another person, or a book, or any external source to tell us what to do. We may have to act immediately, and there may be no outside help available.

By getting in touch with our Higher Power, we cultivate a never failing source of inner strength and direction. In order to have it available when we need it, this inner voice must be consulted habitually. It is not something, which we may call on in times of emergency and forget about when things are going well.

Each of us has this inner source of strength and nourishment. By taking time each day to withdraw from the distractions of the external world, we grow in spiritual knowledge. When the chips are down, this spiritual strength, which we develop by daily prayer and meditation, is what will see us through.

May I know You more dearly each day.

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Making Over Our Partners
Changing the Way We Relate

by Madisyn Taylor

It is dishonest to enter into a relationship with the idea that you are going to change or fix them.


A relationship, in the truest sense of the word, means relating to another. Usually when we say that we relate to someone, it is because we’ve found common ground. But part of relating is finding ways to make ideas that seem different come together. So often when we choose relationships, we try to fit another person into our predetermined ideal. When they don’t fit perfectly, we may try to make them over, creating our own vision from the raw material they’ve brought. But unless someone asks for guidance and direction, entering into a relationship with someone we want to change is dishonest. Then our relationship becomes with someone we’ve imagined, and anytime our partner steps outside of that imaginary projection, we will be disappointed. An honest relationship is one in which we accept each other as whole individuals, and find a way to share our life experiences together. Then, whenever we want, we can choose as a couple to give the relationship a makeover by renewing the ! way we interact.

By wanting to give another person a makeover, we are basically saying we don’t accept them for who they are. If we take a moment to imagine the roles reversed, we can get a sense of how it would feel if our beloved only committed to us because they thought we were, or would become, someone else entirely. In such an environment, we are not relating to each other from a real place, and we are keeping ourselves from being able to learn and grow from the different viewpoints that our partners offer.

If we feel that a change is needed in our relationship, the only makeover that we truly have the power to make is on ourselves. By accepting our partners for exactly who they are—the ideal and the not-so-ideal—we will create an energetic shift in our relationships, and we may find ourselves really appreciating our partners for the first time. Working from within, we determine how we relate to the people and the world around us, and when we can accept it and embrace it all, without conditions, we make every act of relating a positive one. Published with permission from Daily OM

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A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

One of the most serious consequences of the me-me-me syndrome is that we lose touch with practically everyone around us — not to mention reality itself. The essence of self-0pity is total self-absorption, and it feeds on itself. Rather than ignore such an emotional state — or deny that we’re in it — we need to pull out of our self-absorption, stand back, and take a good honest look at ourselves. Once we recognize self-pity for what it is, we can begin to do something about it. Am I living in the problem rather than the answer?

Today I Pray

I pray that my preoccupation with self, which is wound up tight as a Maypole, may unwind itself and let its streamers fly again for others to catch and hold. May the think, familiar wail of me-me-me become a chorus of us-us-us, as we in the fellowship pick apart our self-fullness and look at it together.

Today I Will Remember

Change me-me-me to us-us-us.

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One More Day

From happiness to suffering is a step; from suffering to happiness is an eternity.
– Jewish Proverb

The loss of normal good health can rock even the strongest person. In one fragile moment our life seems in shambles. All that we anticipated, all that we had planned, seems over forever. We wonder if we’ll ever get through this suffering.

For a while it may seem as though we are living underwater — nothing is clear or straightforward. The things that once gave us pleasure seem to disappear as grief takes their place. Friends offer to help — and they do help for a time — but ultimately we face our loss alone.

Finally we begin to understand that grief is a process, just as life is a process. We will be able to move toward acceptance and serenity, and eventually we can be happy again. We can continue to live.

I am consoled in knowing grief takes time, but it will end. I can continue to grow.