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MajestyJo
08-15-2013, 07:00 PM
"When we became alcoholics, crushed by a self-imposed crisis we could not postpone or evade, we had to fearlessly face the proposition that either God is everything or else He is nothing. God either is or He isn't."

Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, We Agnostics, pg. 53

This reminds me of the phrase, "Are you an alcoholic?" "I think I might be just a little bit." The both statements are the same as saying I think I am a little bit pregnant. Either you are or you are not. I had to find my own truth, and although I was in denial, there was something within me that kept me coming to the rooms of recovery for two years until I had reach total acceptance, and I know it wasn't me.

When I looked back over my life, some force was working in my life keeping me alive and to the doors of recovery, because I qualified twenty years before I got here. Some are sicker than others. When I took an honest look at my life I realized God didn't go away, I did!

God works in my life today. He utilizes people, places and things to show me a better way of living and to help me in my journey.


Posted on my site Soundness of Mind in 2005.

We do recover from that hopeless state of mind and body, and we grow and change, but it is a process. It is a one day at a time thing and some days, it can be a step back, or standing still.

I can put a cork in the jug, put down the drug (alcohol is a drug), and be a dry drunk, but if I want a better way of life, I can work the program and find sobriety (soundness of mind).

MajestyJo
08-15-2013, 07:13 PM
Survival

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from: "First Things First"

"Here's an old saying that has special, strong meaning for us. Simply stated, it is this: Above all other concerns, we must remember that we cannot drink. Not drinking is the first order of business for us, anywhere, any time, under any circumstances.

"This is strictly a matter of survival for us. We have learned that alcohol is a killer disease, leading to death in a large number of ways. We prefer not to activate that disease by risking a drink."

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© 1975, Living Sober, page 32

THOUGHT FOR TODAY (2005):

Triggers are something I had to be aware of. Going back to where I came from was not an option, so I had to be watchful of what brought the thought of using to mind and when it appeared, how to handle it.

Flavored drinks, the smell and taste of vanilla, money, crowds (especially noisy ones), fear, and anger were all triggers for me. I remember once not wanting to swollow the saliva in my mouth and spitting it out because it tasted like pure alcohol. I was walking down the street with a sponsee who was projecting her angr at me because she was looking for a quick fix and it wasn't happening and she wanted me to do the work for her. There was no alcohol around, I smelled it and tasted it and when I shared this with my counselor at the YWCA she said it was anger. How did you deal with anger in the past? By taking a drink of course or any other substance to stuff the feeling. I don't want to feel this and would pick up food, turn on the TV, call people on the phone, anything that would take me out of where I was at and not deal with the issue at hand.

The blanket of denial can hide a lot of things, the masks I put on to hide the true me, and the old tapes I listened to because it is always me that pushes the "play" button. All things that I needed to be aware of to learn how to live in today, clean and sober.

Originally posted at ***

When we were using, we were in survival mode, didn't look at what we saw as petty things and things we thought were not worth our time or attention, including ourselves health wise, but so selfish and self-centered, it was all about me and what I could get and what I needed. We need to get our needs met, but then we need to give and share with others what happened to us, what it was like, and what it is in today.

No matter how many times I crashed and burned, it was always about the other guy.

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MajestyJo
12-08-2013, 01:09 AM
From: "Acceptance Was the Answer"

I can do the same thing with an AA meeting. The more I focus my mind on its defects - late start, long drunk-a-logs, cigarette smoke - the worse the meeting becomes. But when I try to see what I can add to the meeting, rather than what I can get out of it, and when I focus my mind on what's good about it, rather than what's wrong with it, the meeting keeps getting better and better. When I focus on what's good today, I have a good day, and when I focus on what's bad, I have a bad day. If I focus on a problem, the problem increases; if I focus on the answer, the answer increases.

Alcoholics Anonymous, page 419

Just For Today - The Hoffields


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My sponsor/spiritual adviser always told me to call my problems "challenges". Challenges you can overcome. Problems you can stay stuck in.

He told me this when I was two years sober and it still works in today.

Acceptance is the key. The challenge is there, talk to your sponsor, someone in your support group, your home group, and have a wee talk with the God of your understanding.

MajestyJo
12-14-2013, 07:40 PM
Help Me to Stay Sober

~Dear God,

Thank you for this day.
~~Help me to stay clean and sober, just for this day.
~~Help me to recognize your hand in all things. ~~Thank you for the blessings I understand and the ones I don't.
~~Thank you for the miracles I see and the ones I don't.
~~Thank you for your spirit who always abides in me. I ask that I may be with your spirit today.
~~Cleanse my mind of all darkness and fill it with love and light.
~~Let me be o.k. with this day no matter what it brings.
~~Thank you for everything that's in my life and everything that's not."

Peace and Blessings

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MajestyJo
12-22-2013, 08:33 AM
There is no need to always be looking in the past and worrying about it. I have a mental note of what is there. There are times that I have to turn to the past and take a closer look at what I should do different or what not to do at the moment, so I don't repeat the past. Have I made some mistakes by not looking at the past closer?

Sure but might of anyway. - R

I was told to glance at the past, but not keep my gaze centered there too long or I will miss out on today. Unless something in today triggers something there I don't often look anymore except when it is necessary to look and recognize old behaviors and patterns that need to be change in today. When I am still acting out in what was, then I am still living back there instead of making the most of the gifts of sobriety.

Often when I share my story I say, I am not here to do a Step Four and Five, but I do need to qualify so you can identify with me. Mind you I have had people say that if they had drank like I did they would still be out there. That is okay. My bottom was more an emotional, spiritual and mental bottom than a physical one, and yet when I stayed sober, a lot of physical issues came up, because I had ignored them when I was using.. I need to remember that this disease is four-fold. Because I compared, and looked at my past and my journey to get here with others, I stayed sick yet it was fear of going back to where I came from that kept me here because I didn't want to go back to where I came from, even though I couldn't find acceptance of being an alcoholic.

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MajestyJo
12-24-2013, 07:04 PM
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If you are in the center of AA, you won't fall off the edge.

Directions to AA: Just go straight to hell and make a U-turn.

AA: Being a part of something is more important than being the center of attention.

AA is the only place whre you can walk into a room full of strangers and reminisce.
A.A. Romance......The odds are good......but the goods are odd.

AA: Look for a way in; not for a way out.

AA: We are not reformed drunks, but informed alcoholics.

AA has no fixed address--you can take it with you.

AA: We're here for a reason, not for the season.

AA Groups: An AA group will be judged by the worst behavior of its members.

AA Groups: When you clean up after your group, you leave the signature of AA behind you.

AA is a check-up from the neck up.

Before I came into AA I was dead, but I did not know enough to lie down.

AA is not a sentence, it is a reprieve.

A.A. is a self-help program but you can't do it by yourself.

AA won't keep you from going to hell nor is it a ticket to heaven but it will keep you sober long enough for you to make up your mind which way you want to go!

AA won't open the gates of heaven to let you in, but it will open the gates of hell to let you out.

In AA, there are no losers--just slow winners.

Alcoholic (as defined by self): A piece of crap the universe revolves around.

Alcoholic: Someone who refuses to give up a life of failure without a fight.

Alcoholic: A person who, when s/he goes to a wedding, wants to be the bride; when s/he goes to a funeral, wants to be the corpse.

Alcoholic: An alcoholic is someone who wants to be held while isolating.

Alcoholic: I may not be much, but I'm all I think about.

Alcoholic: If I could drink like a normal drinker, I'd drink all the time!

Alcoholic: If you drank enough to get to AA, you drank enough.

Alcohol: It provokes the desire but takes away the performance.

Only an alcoholic would believe that the solution to loneliness was isolation.

Alcoholics burn their bridges in front of them.

Alcohol: An alcoholic is someone who finds something that works and then stops doing it.

Alcohol: It's not what or how much you drank, it's what it did to you.

Alcohol: What you thought was the solution became the problem.

Alcoholic: Terminal uniqueness!

Alcoholic: They didn't make a glass big enough for me to have one drink.

Alcohol: You will be rich when you know you have enough.

Alcoholic drinking's three stages: impulsive ... compulsive ... repulsive.

Each and every alcoholic ---sober or not--- teaches us some valuable lessons about ourselves and recovery.

An alcoholic alone is slumming.

An alcoholic is not a guy who thinks he's had one too many.

He's usually the guy who thinks he's had one too few.

Every alcoholic's favorite brand: More!

If you think you are an alcoholic, chances are, you are.

Alcoholics heal from the outside in...but feel from the inside out.

The destiny of every alcoholic is to be locked up ... covered up ... or ... sobered up.

An alcoholic is a man with two feet firmly planted in mid-air.

You can carry the message, but not the alcoholic.

You're probably an alcoholic if: You think spilling beer is alcohol abuse.

Alcoholics are in a class by themselves. Everyone else has graduated.

Alcoholics are life-long loners who cannot stand to be alone.

Non-alcoholics change their behavior to meet their goals and alcoholics change their goals to meet their behavior.

Alcoholics aren't afraid to die. They're afraid to live.

Alcoholism: Alcohol went from being my best friend to my worst enemy.

Alcoholism: An alcoholic can be in the gutter, yet still look down on people.

Alcoholism: Guilt of yesterday, fear of tomorrow, shame of today.

Alcoholism: High bottoms have trap doors.

Alcoholism: If the cure works, chances are, you have the disease.

Alcoholism: If you drank long enough to get to an A.A. meeting, you drank long enough.

Alcoholism: Name it, Claim it, Tame it!!!

Alcoholism: Once you are a pickle, you can't be a cucumber. But once you are a pickle, you can be a newcomer.

Alcoholism is an equal opportunity destroyer.

Remember that alcoholism is .. incurable, progressive, and fatal.

Alcoholism: The three most dangerous words for an alcoholic -"I've been thinking"

Alcoholism: We are not bad people becoming good, but sick people becoming well.

Alcoholism: Your bottom just may be six feet under.

Alcoholism: Your disease progresses even when you are not drinking.

Alcoholism doesn't come in bottles; it comes in people.

Alcoholism is a self-diagnosed disease.

Some people think alcoholism is a two-fold disease -- more and right now.

Original source unknown

Have posted so many, don't know what's where! :13:

MajestyJo
01-27-2014, 01:45 AM
Have always loved the way the first 164 pages came to an end.


Still you may say: "But I will not have the benefit of contact with you who wrote this book."

We cannot be sure. God will determine that, so you must remember that your real reliance is always upon Him. He will show you how to create the fellowship you crave.

Our book is meant to be suggestive only. We realize we know only a little.

God will constantly disclose more to you and to us. Ask Him in your morning meditation what you can do each day for the man who is still sick. The answers will come, if your own house is in order. But obviously you cannot transmit something you haven't got.

See to it that your relationship with Him is right, and great events will come to pass for you and countless others. This is the Great Fact for us.

Abandon yourself to God as you understand God. Admit your faults to Him and to your fellows.

Clear away the wreckage of your past. Give freely of what you find and join us.

We shall be with you in the Fellowship of the Spirit, and you will surely meet some of us as you trudge the Road of Happy Destiny.

May God bless you and keep you-until then.

A friend of mine use to say to me, "...this is a program of suggestion! I use to say to him there are also some darn well betters, or you will go back out drinking; which he repeatedly did. The program works if I work the program. He was one of many I have heard say the program doesn't work for him. I always ask, "Did you work for the program?"

When I "clear the wreckage of my past that can still come up in today and work the Steps into my daily life and do service," I can find happiness in today.

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MajestyJo
02-08-2014, 10:19 PM
Working for It

from: "Action and Patience"

"In shame and despair, I went to my first A.A. meeting. By some minor miracle, I was able to suspend opinion, analysis, judgment, and criticism, and instead to listen and hear. I heard someone say that A.A. works for those who work for it, those who put ACTION into the program. For me, at the time, action consisted of simply showing up at an A.A. meeting and following the suggestions I heard.... The first step in the process of 'coming to believe' had been taken."

© 1973, Came to Believe..., page 42

Just For Today - The Hoffelds


Recovery is a process, I can remember being told to suit up and show up for the day and the rest will follow.

Everyone mentioned "God" and this is a spiritual program and I thought I knew, after all hadn't I been raised in religion for twenty-two years, who are they to tell me, I am a leading authority don't you know?

It didn't stop me from being an addict who became addicted to alcohol and prescription drugs, and to try out any other substance that came my way.

What I came to believe in was the program. I saw that it was doing for other than I had been trying to do for eight years before I got here. I tried quitting my way, and it didn't work. I couldn't STAY QUIT, they had laughter in their eyes, their eyes shone with a radiance I hadn't seen for a long time.

I thought they were laughing at me, when in fact they were laughing with me, because they had been were I was, and had been able to move on and find a new life for themselves.

Step One - I came to recovery and I kept coming so I didn't have to come back. Meetings, meetings and more meetings, and when I got tired of meetings, I went to more meetings. I ended up going because I wanted to not because I had to. I had a big fear that if I missed a meeting, I would relapse. That was changed into a faith that if I go to a meeting, I don't have to pick up today.

Step Two - I came to believe it would work for me and help me to remove the insanity in my life and bring my life into balance. It says I could not would return me to sanity, it is only through work and an honest desire to keep coming and a willingness to change.

Step Three - I came to believe the program would work for me. It is a spiritual program open to everyone who is willing to believe it will work for them. For me, I didn't find God, the God of my own understanding, until I worked the steps and found myself. When I got here, I wasn't capable of knowing, I only remembered what I was told to believe and had no understanding of what I believed in me, most of all myself.

When I made the decision, I made the decision to work the rest of the steps into my life, and they in turn would prevent me from going back to where I came from, and that I would grow in Love and in the Fellowship of the Spirit.

In today, I have maintained my religious beliefs. What I found was that God was so much bigger than I had ever been able to comprehend. Everywhere I went, He was there. I no longer had to keep Him in Church, He was as He revealed Himself to me on a daily basis.

When I surrendered in Step One and said, "My way doesn't work, I was empowered to do what I needed to do, one day at a time, to stay clean, to grow, and as I grew in consciousness, I became aware of the Good Orderly Direction in my life.

I am powerless over people, place and things, but I am empowered to change myself.


Wrote this in 2004. Ten years later it is still true. I not only have to work for my sobriety, I have to live it.

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MajestyJo
05-11-2015, 10:34 AM
Wisdom for Today

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The ship is sinking and we want to get out of this situation alive. Our only hope is to make it to the lifeboats. We hurry to get in and breathe a sigh of relief when we realize we are safe. But then reality sets in…

Twelve step groups are like our lifeboat. When we first get there we are still scared, but soon we breathe a sigh of relief. At least we are safe. At least we are alive. But then reality sets in. When it does we have some choices to make. We can grumble and complain that we don’t have enough room in the boat. We can insist on steering the boat. We can cry and feel like it is still hopeless. Or we can do our part to help out.

Helping others is a way to help ourselves and asking for help is a way of helping ourselves. Can I rejoice in the fact that I have made it into the boat? Do I do my part to help others or do service work in the group? Do I trust that as long as I stay with the boat that eventually I will make it to “dry” land?
Meditations for the Heart
Having a seat in the lifeboat of the Program is something we should try to be grateful for. Many addicts and alcoholics go down to the murky depths of despair or die in the raging sea of addiction as the ship sinks.

Often times we are tempted to ask, “Why Me?” Why did I even get on this ship? Why am I stuck out here? The “why me” question is a good question to ask. We need to ask, “Why me, why am I one of the few that got a seat in this lifeboat?” Am I truly grateful to be one of the “chosen ones” to get a seat?


Petitions to my Higher Power God

Today I pray that I may walk in God’s grace. It is given freely each day. God, help me to know that it is enough for today. Help me to trust that if I stay in the boat, you will see me safely to dry land.

Amen

JoAnne's Sacred Space

MajestyJo
05-11-2015, 10:37 AM
Some of these may be posted elsewhere on the site, I just lose track of what is where.

I stopped drinking almost 26 years ago (July 21, 1987). I drank so much I had no problem falling asleep.

Alcohol Side Effects: 4 Ways Drinking Messes With Your Sleep

Received with thanks from my friend Carey in Texas.


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MajestyJo
05-11-2015, 10:38 AM
Overcoming Fear and Healing Wounds

From Soul's Journey

We cannot escape childhood without being wounded. Every time we made demands of others and they refused us, we were diminished in our self-worth. Each time we asked for love and it was withheld, our self-value decreased. Whenever we attempted to prove ourselves and we failed, we lost some of our power.

As we repeated these experiences, patterns of inadequacy developed, and fears of various kinds took root in our subconscious. Then as we grew up and became more self-sufficient we worked hard at overcoming our diminished self-worth, our decreased self-value, and our loss of power. But we have not been totally successful. The reason is that underlying all our efforts are the fears buried in our subconscious. What is unknown within us usually controls us.

Typically, we do not want to face our fears. Why? Because we are afraid of them. We are afraid that they will pull us back into the experiences of failure we associate with them. So we try other strategies to succeed. We use a variety of defenses to suppress the unwanted feelings associated with previous failures and fear. And we try to consciously control our environment, people and relationships. We all have control issues!

None of this really works, but we live with it anyway. It gives us a false sense of security. But what a tremendous amount of energy we waste on avoiding, repressing, denying and ignoring what we need to face.

On the Soul Journey we learn about our fears, and how to face them. We connect with our old wounds and learn to heal them. We gain the courage we need to become more integrated and whole.

Throughout our entire life, from the moment we were born – and perhaps before – there is one fundamental desire we all have. We all want connection. We all want love – to be loved and to express love. To be loved makes us feel that we are okay as we are, that we have value and worth. And to share our love gives us the connection to our power, which is the ability to love and support others according to their needs.

Ignoring the healing of our wounds makes us unconsciously demand attention and caring from others. It makes us dependent on others in so many ways for our own sense of self.

Not facing our fears keeps us from making meaningful and loving connections with others. Fear says we are separate and we need to be defensive. It says that we cannot trust others and let them in. Fear blocks us from loving. Fear and love cannot occupy the same space. Fear is rooted in the personality, love within the soul.

The power to heal our wounds and face our fears is not found in the personality. It comes from our very essence, the soul within.


Exercises:

1. Make a list of your fears. Which ones are active in your life right now?

2. Review the last few weeks in your mind. What situations come to mind where you felt afraid or uneasy? What did you react to or resist? Behind each of these, what were you afraid of?

3. How will you deal with these fears when they surface in the future? Look for positive examples from other people on how they deal with their challenges.

(C) Reproductions Permitted: http://www.thesouljourney.com

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MajestyJo
06-25-2015, 06:23 PM
From "Into Action:"

"Continue to watch for selfishness, dishonesty,
resentment, and fear. When these crop up, we
ask God at once to remove them. We discuss
them with someone immediately and make amends
quickly if we have harmed anyone. Then we
resolutely turn our thoughts to someone we can
help. Love and tolerance of others is our code.
"And we have ceased fighting anything or
anyone -- even alcohol."

c. 2001, Alcoholics Anonymous, page 84

The program works when we work it. It is up to me to take the action. When I am given awareness and inner knowing, it is good but can only result in goodness if I take what I know and apply it to my life.

Know these things but when I get caught up in my pain, I often forget. Thank God for prayer and meditation.

MajestyJo
07-15-2015, 04:04 AM
Elder's Meditation of the Day

Wednesday 19 May 2010

"If the Great Spirit wanted men to stay in one place He would make the world stand still; but He made it to always change..." — Chief Flying Hawk, OGLALA SIOUX

The Elders tell us change occurs in two directions. They say, "That which is built is constantly being destroyed; that which is loose is being used to build the new." In other words, change is constantly going on. Many times we hear people say, "I hate change." Does it make sense that the Great Spirit would design people to hate it? The Great Spirit designed people with change abilities such as visioning, imagery and imagination. Maybe we need to learn to use these tools and then we'll look forward to change.

Great Spirit, today, let me see the harmony of Yours, truly changing world.

Loved this when I read it. Today I do embrace change but often slow these days to follow the thought with action.

It gave me pause for thought when I read about how the world is ever moving and when I am standing still, life is passing me by.

We can see the change in the Seasons and marvel at God's handy work and forget that He also made us and we are under His care and no matter what we go through, He is there.

Change, is inevitable. I have to remember that I am not young any more and not put so many expectations on myself.

I have to do the do things and can't just sit back and wait for things to happen. I have to do my part. I know that when I stop, it is hard to get going again.

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MajestyJo
08-01-2015, 10:33 PM
"The problem is not that there are problems. The problem is expecting otherwise and thinking that having problems is a problem."

-- Theodore Rubin

My sponsor always said, "Don't call them problems, call them challenges. Challlenges we can over come. Problems we can stay stuck in.

There have been many over the years. There have been others that I have just had to accept that they are there and deal with them in the moment.

Quite of the problem is me. As the Al-Anon slogan says, "Let it begin with me." AA says get over it, get out of self and help someone else.

No matter what is happening in my life, in order to recovery, I had to stop pointing the finger at people, places and things, and point it at myself and look at what I did to get me to where I am in today. I heard, "I am where I am at in today as a result of decisions made."

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MajestyJo
08-10-2015, 05:48 PM
Ya know...I've struggled with depression for nearly 6 years now. Psychaitrist is now giving me some meds for bipolar people who are in the depressive state of their disease along with two other anti-depressants.

I go to A.A. meetings and want to talk about what I'm dealing with and hear, "Outside issue!" "Go to more meetings!" "Work the Steps!" "Pray harder!" "Everyone goes through that!" "It's normal to be depressed!" "You're hearing what you need to hear not what you want to hear!"

Blah blah blah blah blah...

The Big Book says that it is okay for us to have issues that need outside help. It also implies by saying so that there are issues that the 12 Steps will not resolve.

I attend a support group for people with depression. I also see a psychaitrist and a therapist and it really seems to help tremendously.

A very caring Canuck friend in recovery from another website recommended two books for me that have been very helpful and very eye opening for me. "Healing The Shame That Binds Us," and "Healing the Child Within." Both books have been tremendously helpful.

Now, I think I'm ready to tackle some of those ACA issues and books that have been collecting dust on my shelf for a few years. I began reading them at two years sober and it just wasn't time yet. Now, I think it is time. At least I feel like my mind, my heart, my soul and God are telling me it's time.

Do you ever just get angry or fed up or bored with the cliches in the meeting rooms?

DH

Thank you for sharing this. I was just talking to a fellow AA member yesterday on the bus. He is bi-polar and on meds too. It is not good when people in the rooms play doctor. I do know that many alcoholics and addicts are not always honest and have got put on medication for depression which is a big part of the grief process of early recovery. They are two separate things. I have known girls to be put on anti-depressants, gained weight then went back out on a crack diet to lose the weight.

People will be people, gossips and all. I always try to know my own truth and know what is good for me. I am open and honest with my doctor, my God and me. People have their opinions and they have a right to them but that doesn't mean they are right for me.

I have found that the 12 Steps and Traditions are applicable to all areas of my life.

MajestyJo
11-21-2015, 01:48 AM
From "How It Works:"

"Our description of the alcoholic, the chapter to the agnostic, and our personal adventures before and after make clear three pertinent ideas:

(a) That we were alcoholic and could not manage our own lives.
(b) That probably no human power could have relieved our alcoholism.
(c) That God could and would if He were sought."


1976, Alcoholics Anonymous, page 60

This was posted on another site on: Feb 28, 2005, 1:11 pm

The whole thing gives me goose bumps. One of my favourite parts in the BB to begins with. What I call the 1, 2, 3 Waltz. I can't, God can, and just for today, I choose to let Him.

It was also special to me, because it was posted at 1:11 p.m. To me that is a very spiritual connected time.

Those who do not recover are people who cannot or will not completely give themselves to this simple program, usually men and women who are constitutionally incapable of being honest with themselves. There are such unfortunates. They are not at fault; they seem to have been born that way. They are naturally incapable of grasping and developing a manner of living which demands rigorous honesty. Their chances are less than average.


This is the part of How It Works I want to talk about today. So many people grasp onto this as an excuse for relapse. They don't even know the meaning of the word.

It means, knowing the truth, but doing it anyway, not caring. Sadly, it describes my son, more than anyone else I know. He was 25 when I came into treatment and he has been in treatment 5 times himself. He says to me, "Don't tell me Mom, I know." It is also a disease of perception. The only one to break through that is his God.

So many times we played games and tried to control our drinking. We changed brands, we mixed it with other things, like me who HATED beer, couldn't stand the smell or the taste, I added Coca-Cola too it and all it did was spoil the taste of my Cola, my first addiction.

I found this picture at Angelwinks today. When we something in a shape we recognize we don't like we say no, but if it had our drink of choice in there, how quickly we would change our tune.

When I broke with my husband, I knew I had to quit drinking because I couldn't afford to keep me in the style that I had become accustomed is what I said, but in reality, it was the fact that I just drank too much and didn't get enough to keep up my habit and didn't want to pay the price to keep it up. So I would go to darts or bridge, then go down to the bar, which gave just enough time to have two drinks before I went home for the night. I didn't recognize it as controlled drinking until I came into recovery. What you have to control, is already out of control.

The same thing was true with my pills, if I had taken my quota for the day of all my pills and maybe sneaked one or two more on the side, I would add Gravol to the mix, which I called my candy, to make everything work faster. There always had to be that something extra. Like the two extra 222s that I took with the last drink every night so I wouldn't wake up with a hang over. I don't ever remember if it worked. Didn't have too many hangovers. But then, I went to bed late when I was doing the heavy drinking, got up late, and went to the Legion. How can a girl tell. When I lived with my Dad, it was always there.

Continued

MajestyJo
11-21-2015, 01:50 AM
Alcoholics Anonymous - How it works

RARELY HAVE we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path. Those who do not recover are people who cannot or will not completely give themselves to this simple program, usually men and women who are constitutionally incapable of being honest with themselves. There are such unfortunates. They are not at fault; they seem to have been born that way. They are naturally incapable of grasping and developing a manner of living which demands rigorous honesty. Their chances are less than average. There are those, too, who suffer from grave emotional and mental disorders, but many of them do recover if they have the capacity to be honest.

Our stories disclose in a general way what we used to be like, what happened, and what we are like now. If you have decided that you want what we have and are willing to go to any length to get it - then you are ready to take certain steps.

At some of these we balked. We thought that we could find an easier, softer way. But we could not. With all earnestness at our command, we beg of you to be fearless and thorough from the very start. Some of us have tried to hold on to our old ideas and the result was nil until we let go absolutely.

Remember that we deal with alcohol - cunning, baffling, powerful! Without help it is too much for us. But there is One who has all power - that One is God. May you find him now.

Half measures availed us nothing. We stood at the turning point. We asked His protection and care with complete abandon.

Here are the steps we took, which are suggested as a program of recovery:

1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol - that our lives had become unmanageable.

2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.

3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.

4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.

5. Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.

6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.

7. Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.

8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.

9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.

10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.

11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.

12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

Many of us exclaimed, "What an order! I can't go through with it." Do not be discouraged. No one among us has been able to maintain anything like perfect adherence to these principles. We are not saints. The point is, that we were willing to grow along spiritual lines. The principles we have set down are guides to progress. We claim spiritual progress rather than spiritual perfection.

Our description of the alcoholic, the chapter to the agnostic, and our personal adventures before and after make clear three pertinent ideas:

(a) That we were alcoholic and could not manage our own lives.

(b) That probably no human power could have relieved our alcoholism.

(c) That God could and would if He were sought.


How it works - Chapter 5, page 58-60 of the Book,
Alcoholics Anonymous
© Alcoholics Anonymous

Many people say the program didn't work for the program, but they were unwilling to work for the program. They were unwilling to be honest, open-minded, and willing to do what ever it took, to make the program work in their lives. They were unable to accept their disease or that of others, they were unwilling to work on themselves, always looking at the other person. I am lucky I found the doors of recovery, because I kept comparing myself to my dad and my ex-husband, didn't want to wear a label that I put on them. I compared instead of identifying and stayed sick.

Work the Steps, clean house, let go of the past, heal in today, and live in today and have hope for a better tomorrow.

As they say, we can plan, but don't plan the outcome. We can look at our past, but don't carry the burdens into today, leave them there, learn from them, and move on.

The Steps are the key. Someone asks me what Step I am on in today, it varies, but there are some days, that I need ALL 12.

May you have a good day, and an even better tomorrow. Life doesn't change we do. We are given the tools to handle life on life's terms, one day at a time.

MajestyJo
11-21-2015, 01:51 AM
Many of us exclaimed, "What an order! I can't go through with it." Do not be discouraged. No one among us has been able to maintain anything like perfect adherence to these principles. We are not saints. The point is, that we were willing to grow along spiritual lines. The principles we have set down are guides to progress. We claim spiritual progress rather than spiritual perfection.


Remember when I came into recovery, when I heard the words, we are not saints, I use to say to myself, "Speak for yourself." Not very spiritual, all about me, with no thought of others, or I looked down on someone who didn't think like I did and do what I KNEW to be right.

Thank God it is progress not perfection. All my life I was raised to believe if it wasn't perfect, it wasn't good enough, and neither was I for doing something less than. Not only the expectation put on me by others, but the ones I put on myself, were just not feasible and most times the goals were unreachable. I was a mistake, I was a less than, I was an excuse for a human being, and how could God love me when I didn't like me, and was so far from perfect. Angel and saint I will never be, yet there came a time in my recovery when I was told, "Oh, you are that Spiritual lady."

It is good to know that I can make a mistake and it doesn't mean I am one. I can do less than perfect, I can just try to be the best me I can be in today. Some days I fall short of what I think my God wants me to be in today, and that is why there are Steps 6 and 7, to follow Steps 4 and 5.

Practice the principles in all our affairs. Take my recovery out of the rooms and apply them to my home life and in the community.

MajestyJo
11-21-2015, 01:54 AM
Principles of the Twelve Steps
1. Honesty 2. Hope 3. Faith 4. Courage 5 . Integrity 6. Willingness 7. Humility 8. Brotherly 9. Self Discipline 10. Perseverance 11. Ever Presence of God 12. Service to Fellowman,

Principles of the Twelve Traditions
1. Unity2. Direction3. Recovery4. Understanding5. Sharing6. Simplicity7. Independence8. Selflessness9. Service10. Survival11. Self Reliance12. Humility
Principles of the Twelve Concepts
1. Responsibility 2. Reliance 3. Trust 4. Participation 5. Democracy 6. Accountability 7. Balance 8. Consistency 9. Vision 10. Clarity 11. Respect 12. Spirituality

It always amazes me how people with long time recovery don't even know what principles of the program are. It came to me a few years into my recovery that I had never heard anyone share on what they were to them and about applying them to their lives.. When I did ask, I mostly heard the same fairly basic things, but a lot of people had their own concept.
i.e. Surrender, honesty, acceptance, open-mindedness, willingness, courage, strength, love, forgiveness, integrity, and compassion to name just a few. I had a list that my sponsor and I compiled but I have seemed to have lost it.

I like the Al-Anon way of saying principles above personalities instead of the AA way of saying principles before personalities.

Principles of recovery are above any person, situation or occasion. God doesn't ask us to lower ourselves, He wants us to walk tall in our truth and share with others what we have learned.

MajestyJo
11-21-2015, 01:55 AM
Remember that we deal with alcohol - cunning, baffling, powerful! Without help it is too much for us. But there is One who has all power - that One is God. May you find him now.

Half measures availed us nothing. We stood at the turning point. We asked His protection and care with complete abandon.


Sometimes we forget how dangerous this disease really is, and it isn't just about the drinking and drugging, it is about the thinking that goes with it. It is a family disease, and when I stole my first glass of communion wine I was 10. I was to ever remember the feeling when it hit bottom and searched for that feeling. It is a progressive disease, and it kept taking more to reach it, and then it got to a stage where I found it, and couldn't stop there, I had to have more.

I can't forget it is a family disease. I only saw my father drunk twice growing up, once at 8 and another time at 14, until my mother passed away, and she was no longer there to say no to alcohol being in our home. He went out to get it, but we didn't see alcohol in our home. My sister and I were playing in the basement and we found a case of 12, covered in dust and cob webs and my sister said, "Oh look, this must be daddy's pop." We did not know. We didn't have a TV until I was 10 years old, so my informative years were very uninformed.

What I didn't know was that when I didn't have my drug of choice, I reached for other things: pills, men, food, work, etc. I didn't think I was lovable, unless I had someone in my life to tell me or show me that I was loved. Didn't think I could ever be alone, couldn't even stand to have quiet in the room with no TV or music.

Threw the Steps and my God, who showed me how to fill up with spiritual things, when I go within and build a relationship with my God, instead of looking outside of myself for some thing or some one to make me feel better.

I am responsible for my own happiness. No more playing the blame game. The program is about change, what I did in early recovery is the past, it is what I do in today that matters.

This picture will change daily.

http://angelwinks.net/images/angelpod.jpg

MajestyJo
11-21-2015, 01:56 AM
The program works if I work the Steps and I work for the program. If you don't do the do things, you can't expect it to work for you. It is a suggested program, steps that are suggested, and suggested that you do them in order, but if you don't follow the suggestions, there is a good chance you won't grow in recovery or stay clean and sober. Even if we don't use our drug of choice, we may find ourselves reaching for other things to fill up the voice, especially if we are not feeding ourselves with food for the body, mind, and spirit.

The Twelve Steps are applicable to all parts of my life.

http://angelwinks.net/images/iq/qcchickspatience.jpg

MajestyJo
11-26-2015, 12:36 AM
March 1
Anxiety Attack?

"[The] Power that brought us to this program is still with us and will continue to guide us if we allow it."

Basic Text, p. 26

Ever had a panic attack? Everywhere we turn, life's demands overwhelm us. We're paralyzed, and we don't know what to do about it. How do we break an anxiety attack?

First, we stop. We can't deal with everything at once, so we stop for a moment to let things settle. Then we take a "spot inventory" of the things that are bothering us. We examine each item, asking ourselves this question: "How important is it, really?" In most cases, we'll find that most of our fears and concerns don't need our immediate attention. We can put those aside, and focus on the issues that really need to be resolved right away. Then we stop again and ask ourselves, "Who's in control here, anyway?" This helps remind us that our Higher Power is in control.

We seek our Higher Power's will for the situation, whatever it is. We can do this in any number of ways: through prayer, talks with our sponsor or NA friends, or by attending a meeting and asking others to share their experience. When our Higher Power's will becomes clear to us, we pray for the ability to carry it out. Finally, we take action.

Anxiety attacks need not paralyze us. We can utilize the resources of the NA program to deal with anything that comes our way.

Just for today: My Higher Power has not brought me all this way in recovery only to abandon me! When anxiety strikes, I will take specific steps to seek God's continuing care and guidance.

pg. 63

This was a good reminder of what it use to be like and what it is like now. I use to go into grocery stores, leave a buggy in the aisle with groceries in it or I would put everything back because I couldn't stand the crowds, or was filled with fear and couldn't handle the situation and would leave the store.

I would get off a bus and wait for the next one because the bus gut too crowded or someone was loud and making a lot of noise. Shouting was and still can be a real trigger for me.

I had a fear of bridges and walking over grates. The fears went away in recovery. I ended up walking over them and not even noticing or notice them and not get that frilly feeling in my tummy! Each time I went over them for the first time without fear was when I was helping others. I was taking a friend to a meeting and was on my way to talk to a sponsee who wanted to meet for coffee.

I have had thoughts of leaving a bus but haven't done it lately. I did use the noise on one a few weeks ago to help make the decision to get off the bus and go back to a store to check out something. I had the thought, discounted it, got on the bus, and went about 4 blocks, got off and walked back.

I can get chest pains, which I figure is either a panic attack or fibromyalgia, either way, when I sit, meditate, take deep breathes, they go away. My God is only a breathe away. It only takes minutes, sometimes second to connect with Him.

=================

This was written in 2011. I am grateful for the reminder and it is just what I need to read in today. I just started doing the deep breathing on Sunday to help with the pain in my kidneys, which is a result of taking my new medication. It is nice to not have pain, but sure don't like the side affects.

MajestyJo
11-26-2015, 10:46 PM
Making a difference

"The spiritual life is a call to action. But it is a call to ... action without any selfish attachment to the results."

-- Eknath Easwaran

Many of us feel deeply that we want to make a difference -- we want our lives to mean something in the bigger scheme of life. While this is a noble motive, we might want to explore what lies at its root.

Does the drive to make a difference arise from ego’s need to feel worthy? If my ego is not convinced that I matter, I may want visible proof that I do by making some kind of impact on life.

Soul doesn’t need proof that it’s worthy. Soul thrives in being awake and connected. Perhaps if we let go of the pressure we feel from our ego’s need to be recognized, we will be more open and able to simply live soulfully. And by doing that, we WILL make a difference!

"A person’s worth is contingent upon who he is, not upon what he does, or how much he has. The worth of a person, or a thing, or an idea, is in being, not in doing, not in having."

-- Alice Mary Hilton

As we are spiritual beings, the root of all of our life challenges lies in the spiritual realm.

Higher Awareness - used with permission


For many years, I was involved in service. At one time, I was so busy 'serving' others that I had no time for me. I was told that I was full of 'ego' and it was all about me. They were wrong, but that was there problem. I had no job, I was on disability, I needed a purpose and a reason for being, and service gave me that.

Even now and for the past six or so years, when I can't get out, I can do service on line. Someone asked me how could I be sober when I didn't go to meetings. They didn't believe me. They said that I could not do 12 Step work. There are many kinds of Step work and ways to carrying the message.

It is important for me to carry the message of recovery. The thing I need to be mindful of is that I have it to give. I need to be spiritually fit. I need to make sure that I feed my spirit as well as my body and mind.

Originally posted on another site in 2010

Coming on line is my way of service in today and I need this reminder to try to remember that no matter how bad I feel, I always feel better mentally and emotionally, if I come to the site, even if I am in pain or it causes pain sitting at the computer.

http://www.animated-gifs.eu/avatars-100x100-nature/0043.gif

MajestyJo
12-19-2015, 06:21 PM
JUST FOR TODAY!

Baffling

from: "More about Alcoholism"

"But there was always the curious mental phenomenon that parallel with our sound reasoning there inevitably ran some insanely trivial excuse for taking the first drink. Our sound reasoning failed to hold us in check. The insane idea won out. Next day we would ask ourselves, in all earnestness and sincerity, how it could have happened."


© 2001, Alcoholics Anonymous, page 37

- The Hoffelds


When I came into recovery, I knew there was a God and I knew I wasn't insane. After a year in recovery, I didn't know who God was, and realized I was insane. Thus started my spiritual journey, because I was so baffled because I was soooooooo sure!

Insanity, doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. Cunning, baffling and powerful! A disease the says I don't have it! I believed it! It was all everybody else's fault, problem, disease, there was nothing wrong with me. If only others would do what I told them, then everything would be just fine. We all know what fine means. F.I.N.E. Frustrated, insecure, neurotic, and enjoying it!

http://www.animated-gifs.eu/ps-santa-2/0008.gif

MajestyJo
12-19-2015, 06:32 PM
How often do we believe that things will work out if we rely on a Higher Power while remaining calm and taking what ever steps are needed when a problem crops up?

Like this, so much easier said than done, but it does get better and I do find that calm within the chaos today. Other days, I am the chaos. When I find myself though, thanks to the program, I have the tools to apply to the situation and I can find that Serenity again. The biggest tool for me are the prayers and the slogans.

When I let go and let God, I never had it so good. It is even better when I let go, and don't take it back or put a condition on the outcome.

I can't, my God can, Just for today, I choose to let Him.

http://www.animated-gifs.eu/ps-santa-2/0009.gif

MajestyJo
12-22-2015, 06:09 PM
"Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book

We're not against alcohol, we're for sobriety.

Many times, I find people seem to be afraid to mention to me that they had a drink. I often say, "I would have a drink too if I could drink safely. I have no problems with people having a drink. What I have a problem with, is people's actions when they drink. It isn't the person, it is their actions. Are they abusive? Are they disrespectful? Do they danger the lives of others by drinking and driving?

In today, in sobriety, I don't have to worry about what I did the night before. If I did something wrong, I remember it and can make amends. I can't blame it on the alcohol, or on anyone else, I have to take responsibility, generally it is my big mouth that thought someone should be told and had a mind of its own.

My sponsor said, "Sobriety is soundness of mind." That means I have to work on my emotional sobriety daily. I no longer want to drink, for me, that was never an option. I have also found that prescription drugs were like dried-up alcohol and they had the same affect on me. Anything that is mood altering is a danger to my sobriety, I may stay sober, but I become a dry drunk without working the 12 Steps of Recovery.

I was lamenting not being able to cook with wines. I know that there will never be a part bottle of wine around and me not drink it. I can still tell myself that I am not an alcoholic and a product of my environment, a self-justification to use and a strong case of denial because I am in pain and want it to all go away. It would go away alright, so would I! Today I choose to live. I know that I can use stock or juice to cook with, so I have to turn the stinking thinking over to my God and apply the program.

Just because I like it. Peace perfect peace!

http://www.animated-gifs.eu/christmas-crib/0053.gif

MajestyJo
12-27-2015, 04:26 PM
Companionship

Trouble is a part of life, and if you don't share it, you don't give the person who loves you a chance to love you enough.

— Dinah Shore

Just as gravity keeps us grounded and connected to the earth, our fellowship keeps us bound to sobriety. The fellowship available to us in our Twelve Step program keeps us in reality. A problem pondered in
isolation seems immense; the same problem shared by those who truly understand is manageable. We need other people from the moment we are born. We need to be included, to feel we're a part of something larger than ourselves. Our spirits hunger for contact from others, and thirst for a relationship with God.

Our fellowship is there, a warm, friendly, and accepting family. Our Higher Power loves us. We are not alone, no matter where we travel, no matter how large our problems seem at the moment. Our joys are doubled and our sadness diminished through the sharing of our hearts.

Today help me listen carefully and give as well as take so I may fully experience this gift of fellowship.


The book Body, Mind, and Spirit by Anonymous © 1990

Open-Mind.org/Daily/Reading/58.htm

From DailyReflections-subscribe@yahoogroups.com

Received from: antesianroadtoenlightenment-subscribe@yahoogroups.com

EXPANDING CONSCIOUSNESS

http://www.animated-gifs.eu/meteo-christmas/0005.gif

MajestyJo
01-02-2016, 09:36 PM
From "Bill's Story:"

"Trembling, I stepped from the hospital a broken man.
Fear sobered me for a bit. Then came the insidious
insanity of that first drink, and ...I was off again.
Everyone became resigned to the certainty that I
would have to be shut up somewhere, or would
stumble along to a miserable end. How dark it is
before the dawn! In reality that was the beginning of
my last debauch. I was soon to be catapulted into what
I like to call the fourth dimension of existence. I was to
know happiness, peace, and usefulness, in a way of life
that is incredibly more wonderful as time passes."

c. 2001, Alcoholics Anonymous, page 8

So grateful for the founder of AA. The program worked for him and those who followed. It works for me in today.

https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRJ4dNsQZQrMofxoCoTOHmrHA1KWZOMT y345_QKHbBwcDCooF9j

MajestyJo
01-04-2016, 12:03 AM
Daily Acceptance


"Too much of my life has been spent in dwelling upon the faults of others. This is a most subtle and perverse form of self-satisfaction, which permits us to remain comfortably unaware of our own defects. Too often we are heard to say, `If it weren't for him (or her), how happy I'd be!'"

<< << << >> >> >>

Our very first problem is to accept our present circumstances as they are, ourselves as we are, and the people about us as they are. This is to adopt a realistic humility without which no genuine advance can even begin. Again and again, we shall need to return to that unflattering point of departure. This is an exercise in acceptance that we can profitably practice every day of our lives.

Provided we strenuously avoid turning these realistic surveys of the facts of life into unrealistic alibis for apathy of defeatism, they can be sure foundation upon which increased emotional health and therefore spiritual progress can be built

1. LETTER, 1966

2. GRAPEVINE, MARCH 1962

Accepting what is the moment, knowing it is subject to change. Until I can find the acceptance, I can't move on.
It was a real issue when I first came in about accepting my alcoholism. I knew I was an addict, my drug of choice had been more all my life. When I acknowledge that alcohol was part of that "more" and that I had used alcohol along with other substances, I could admit to my disease. It made it easier to accept when I said, "Dis-ease" not comfortable within my own skin and always looking for something outside of myself to make me feel better.

Another acceptance was the amount of damage I did to my body over the years. Acceptance of all the wasted years and space as the song goes. Not sure if my fibromyalgia is a result of the physical or mental abuse, a car accident I had at 17, or a combination. I was told that I had PTSD, but not by a doctor, but by a therapist in later years when I went for sexual assault counselling. Again the acceptance came from the recovery phrase, "I had to go through what I went through to get to where I am in today."

Even in today, fibromyalgia affects so many aspects of my life, I still have to find acceptance on a daily basis.

With my son in active addiction, I have to accept his choices, I don't have to like them. I am as powerless over his disease as I was over my own, prior to coming into recovery and surrendering to the program.

Through the program I learned to accept a Higher Power into my life. I was very angry at my God. I had to make an amend to Him and I had to go on a spiritual journey to find out who God was to me. I had to make God personal. I couldn't accept other people's God, because I felt if I did, I would stop looking for God, then where would I be. I had to find my own God and build a relationship with Him/Her.

There is a lot in my own life, like growing older, swollen feet, sores on my feet that don't want to heal because of my diabetes, my five types of arthritis, and lately, I have this feeling that I have bands around my ankles like prisoners wear. Maybe it means I am a prisoner of my own making or of my own mind.

the program is applicable to all areas of my life, and for that I am so grateful.

I had to go through what I went through to get to where I am in today.

Originally posted at Recovery Inn

MajestyJo
03-26-2016, 09:19 PM
My son is my A in today. I am also the daughter of an alcoholic and a food addict and I was married to an alcoholic.

My son started out with alcohol and pot, and as his disease has progressed over the years, it has lead him to crack/cocaine.

He says I don't understand. I am a recovering alcoholic and pill addict whose drug of choice was more. I can understand where he is coming from and because I didn't use the things he used, he feels that he is different and can't understand what he is going through. A drug is a drug.

My biggest gift was being able to set boundaries, learning to detach, and not God, which he doesn't believe in. I am not his God and I can't fix him, all I can do is pray for him and try to walk the road of recovery to the best of my ability.

https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/8d/e9/94/8de994806fd93577cf5afdb975013db1.jpg

dwmoeller
03-28-2016, 09:29 AM
My son is my A in today. I am also the daughter of an alcoholic and a food addict and I was married to an alcoholic.

My son started out with alcohol and pot, and as his disease has progressed over the years, it has lead him to crack/cocaine.

He says I don't understand. I am a recovering alcoholic and pill addict whose drug of choice was more. I can understand where he is coming from and because I didn't use the things he used, he feels that he is different and can't understand what he is going through. A drug is a drug.

My biggest gift was being able to set boundaries, learning to detach, and not God, which he doesn't believe in. I am not his God and I can't fix him, all I can do is pray for him and try to walk the road of recovery to the best of my ability.

https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/8d/e9/94/8de994806fd93577cf5afdb975013db1.jpg

I will keep your son in my prayers.

MajestyJo
04-11-2016, 08:35 PM
Just For Today
April 11
A Closed Mind

“A new idea cannot be grafted onto a closed mind… Open-mindedness leads us to the very insights that have eluded us during our lives.”
Basic Text p. 93

We arrived in NA at the lowest point in our lives. We’d just about run out of ideas. What we needed most when we got here were new ideas, new ways of living, shared from the experience of people who’d seen those ideas work. Yet our closed minds prevented us from taking in the very ideas we needed to live.

Denial keeps us from appreciating just how badly we really need new ideas and new direction. By admitting our powerlessness and recognizing how truly unmanageable our lives have become, we allow ourselves to see how much we need what NA has to offer.

Self-dependence and self-will can keep us from admitting even the possibility of the existence of a Power greater than ourselves. However, when we admit the sorry state self-will has gotten us into, we open our eyes and our minds to new possibilities. When others tell us of a Power that has brought sanity to their lives, we begin to believe that such a Power may do the same for us.

A tree stripped of its branches will die unless new branches can be grafted onto its trunk. In the same way, addiction stripped us’ of whatever direction we had. To grow or even to survive, we must open our minds and allow new ideas to be grafted onto our lives.

Just for today: I will ask my Higher Power to open my mind to the new ideas of recovery.

This goes along with the post that I made about Open Mind, Unmade Mind.

dwmoeller
04-12-2016, 08:35 AM
November 1, 2010. This day my new life began. When I went into treatment, I opened my mind and my heart and allowed new ideas to be grafted into my life. My "tree" started to grow back then and even 5 and 1/2 years later it continues to grow every day.

MajestyJo
04-12-2016, 08:41 AM
Thanks for sharing. Depression can be a real problem. We go through a grieving process not recognizing that alcohol was a depressant. When I drank it, it seemed to bring me up to where I am on a natural high in today. When I find myself going back there, I know that I am the only one that can get me out of there and only with the help of my God.

I have to be careful being around my son, because he goes into depression in the winter time, especially when he is not working. I can't take on his stuff. He has such a closed mind about change and it makes me sad. So grateful for this program that has allowed me to live and gives me the tools to deal with life, one day at a time.

MajestyJo
04-21-2016, 12:34 AM
Are you RECOVERED or are you RECOVERING from your addictions.?"

Good thoughts. I know I will always be an alcoholic/addict. I know that I am recovered from that hopeless state of mind and body that was 'me' when I came into recovery, as long as I continue to work the program. I know that if I allow myself to slip and get away from daily maintenance of my program, I can find myself back there. When I do, I know it is back to basics for me.

How well I recover, is how diligently I work my program. If I allow myself to become complacent or think I am just "fine" now, I will find myself back in the old patterns and behaviors and find myself back in the old habits, which I know will lead me back to where I came from. For me, that isn't an option, for me to use is to die. It doesn't matter what substance I pick up, a drug is a drug and stands between me and my God and my spiritual defense against picking up that first one, whether it is a rye and coke or a chocolate brownie with ice cream. It is and has always been the thinking, and if I tell myself, one won't hurt, I know I am acting out in my dis-ease. When I am there, I allow my disease to inch into my life and we know, when you give someone or some thing an inch, they tend to want a mile.

MajestyJo
05-04-2016, 09:39 PM
JUST FOR TODAY!

Living

from: "It Might Have Been Worse"

"Doing our best, living each day to the fullest is the art of living. Yesterday is gone, and we don't know whether we will be here tomorrow. If we do a good job of living today, and tomorrow comes for us, then the chances are we will do a good job when it arrives -- so why worry about it? "The A.A. way of life is the way we always should have tried to live."

© 2001, Alcoholics Anonymous, page 357


THOUGHT FOR TODAY: written in 2004

Living in today is so important. When we keep looking at our past, we carry a burden which makes life in today very difficult and we carry extra baggage which makes for a tiresome journey.

When we do a fourth and fifth, we unleash a lot of that past, and as it appears in today, we can deal with it a piece at a time, instead of carrying all those attitudes and actions with us.

If I project into the future, all I have is the past to base my perception on, and this is a disease of 'perception' so what I am doing, is not living in reality and I find myself back in the worlld of illusion and doubts, along with the fears and the boogie men of my old life.

When we live in the moment, live in today, we have the opportunity to 'live' and the freedom of recovery.

Here I am, 14 years later, still living in the moment. Some days I have to check on my computer as to what day it is. How time does fly. I used for so long trying to make time disappear. I couldn't stand to be alone with myself. I didn't know how to fill up a day, and now there are not enough hours in a day.

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MajestyJo
05-09-2016, 07:55 PM
Although all men share a common destiny, each individual also has to work out his personal salvation for himself. We can help each other find the meaning of life, but in the last analysis, each is responsible for finding himself.

--Thomas Merton

Although all men share a common destiny, each individual also has to work out his personal salvation for himself. We can help each other find the meaning of life, but in the last analysis, each is responsible for finding himself.

--Thomas Merton

Fell short on this one today, one of the reasons I couldn't sleep.

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MajestyJo
05-10-2016, 11:45 PM
http://angelwinks.ca/images/versepod/versepod970.jpg

Give the gift of hope to someone. Share what worked for you.

MajestyJo
05-13-2016, 01:35 PM
A drug, broadly speaking, is any chemical substance that, when absorbed into the body of a living organism, alters normal bodily function.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Drug

Sometimes when my son comes by I can tell he has been using or I know he is coming down from what ever substance he has been on. When he was drinking, I could smell it. When he was drinking he staggered and had trouble walking (just like my ex-husband). When I drank I could walk that straight line and was a functioning alcoholic. I never saw myself as a 'drunk,' and many people told me they had never seen me drunk and questioned that I was an alcoholic.

I find it scarey not knowing although he has admitted to using cocaine, I am not sure if it has progressed to crack although he has admitted to trying it and not liking it. There is so much out there, so much to experiment with, that I fear although I would be surprised if he started using anything with a needle. That is something he has been terrified of all his life. We all know that fear never stopped an addict from doing anything, so it could end up there.

He had three months clean and sober. He knows there is a better way. It is his choice. I see him flipping from channel to channel when he comes here and if there is any mention of drugs, addiction and getting help, he changes the channel. He just isn't ready.

The link refers to coffee and cigarettes. I gave up coffee because they went with the cigarettes. Yesterday for the first time I went to the mall after the chiropractors while waiting for the bus home and bought a black coffee and added sweetener (Stevia). I don't like the taste but drank it any way. I stopped drinking coffee completely when I learned I was diabetic because I liked double sugar. The same old adage, some is good, more is better. It was a loving relationship that I had with coffee (2-3 pots a day) and coffee (1-2 packs a day). As my friend says, "I only have 3 cigarettes a day, but heaven help you if you take those away."

I did not want to quit smoking. I liked smoking. I couldn't really afford to smoke, but I found the money for it. I preferred smoking to healthy eating. When I was hungry, I had a cigarette. That is what showed me the insanity of the disease. Now I use the money to buy and treat myself to peameal bacon, butter, asparagas, pineapple, steak, mushrooms, etc. all things too pricey for my budget.

I was told to quit for health reasons. The fear never stopped me. I was 7 years sober before I made the decision to quit. It was a spiritual reason that allowed me to make the decision. I came to a decision that I wanted to be a clear and clean channel when sharing my story with others and I didn't think I was totally able to do that as long as I used cigarettes to shut down my feelings. When I quit smoking, a lot of anger I didn't realize that I was still hanging onto was there. Under the anger was fear, rejection, abandonment and sexual assault issues that hadn't healed. I was made aware of the fact that my disease had to be healed mentally, emotionally, and spiritually as well as the physical.

There are days I desperately want a cigarette. Today was one of those days. If I pick up a cigarette, it would kill faster than a drink. Being asthmatic doesn't help, neither does the circulation problems with the diabetes, not to mention the wear and tear on my longs from smoking from the age of 17 to 56, so I had to come to a place of acceptance and surrender. Believe me, I went kicking and screaming all the way.

I tried Zyban but I found using it difficult. I took a pill and found myself waiting for the result. An old habit and feeling or what? Where is my quick fix? I took the pill, why do I still want a cigarette? Like everything else, I wanted it now if not sooner. It was the thinking behind the drug that was the problem. I tried Nicorette too and all they did was make the cigarettes taste terrible. They were okay for short term abstinance but not long term. I used it when I travelled for 2 hours with my aunt, my sister and her husband to an uncle's funeral.

If I could smoke safely today, I would smoke. I liked what it did for me.

MajestyJo
05-13-2016, 01:37 PM
When your doctor prescribes and you don't abuse it by taking too many, none at all, or not the hours your are suppose to, are you using? My doctor was my supplier for years and in today, I am very hesitant about taking anything and yet if I don't I have trouble living with the chronic pain of my arthritis. I have to watch the thinking behind it. i.e. Oh a pill would go down good now! If I take a pill, I can go to bed and that is back using my bed and a drug as an escape. When I had the problems with migraines for the first 7 years of recovery, many people figured I shouldn't have claimed being sober. I didn't want the medication. I took it to maintain my sanity. I thought I was going to go completely insane with the pain.

Having just come off two medications that my doctor prescribed, this struck home with me. Today, I also told him that the medication was too strong and that my pharmacist suggested that I only take 1/2 pill at bedtime. It is really important for me to have a good relationship with them both. The pharmacist is the person who knows all the inter-action and the side affections of the medication and how they all interact, and that includes my vitamins, inhalers, and creams like Voltaren.

Why take a narcotic for the neuropathy in my feet when it doesn't help take away the pain. This was reinforced tonight. I couldn't sleep and because I had a head ache and my feet hurt so much that I couldn't sleep, I decided to take a Tyenol 3 (prescribed by my doctor for my chronic pain and can take every 8 hours, but I refuse to use them that often), and half an hour later, I am kicking myself, even though the head ache has eased, the pain in my feet is still there. I ended up doing a meditation with my Runes (got the breakthrough and Spiritual Warrior card), did accupressure on my feet, asked for what I needed, ended up I came on line, and the pain has gone away, and then I could go to sleep.

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MajestyJo
05-18-2016, 06:42 PM
Love is a force. It is not a result; it is a cause. It is not a product; it produces. It is a power, like money, or steam or electricity. It is valueless unless you can give something else by means of it.

—Anne Morrow Lindbergh

My thought since I got up today was "Connect with someone."
When I read Just For Today this morning, it talked about isolation and I realize that the only person who I talked with for three days was my sponsor last night.

The last line of this quote gave me pause for thought. Not sure I understand the whole concept of what they meant yet because I haven't been awake long.

Yet it talks about giving, exchange of energy between on person and another. Giving from a place of love is a thing of power. It is a force being exchanged with others that we all may grow in body, mind and spirit. When we isolate, we are cut off from the spirit of love and isolate our soul.

Posted on another site in 2010

So true, isolation is part of my disease. It is not a recovery tool.

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MajestyJo
05-22-2016, 10:47 AM
It is so important for me to find my own truth. For me that is what recovery is. I have had so many hand-me-down tapes over the years that I didn't know what was mine to take ownership of. I lived my life through others and I was what they wanted me to be. People pleasing and going outside of myself for love, affection, affirmation, validation, and self-worth just didn't cut it for me. I wore many masks, played many roles, had very thick and high walls hiding that Inner Self and I didn't let her come out very often. I had no concept of my Inner Child. One friend said I just never grew up. I think it was more like I didn't know how to play. I didn't know how to let myself go and have fun. I had to do a lot of work in this area. My humour is still sarkey and the words are their the actions aren't. I just not big on slap-stick. Maybe because I got slapped around too many times for expressing who I was. It is nice to know it is okay to be me.

It is one thing to be honest. Self-honesty is another ball of wax completely.

Originally posted on another site in 2009

Well I don't get slapped around any more and often, it is me not being honest with me that catches up with me and bites me on the a$$.

Our emotions can come out and show themselves physically.

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MajestyJo
05-26-2016, 11:47 PM
Recovery is an inside job.

Walk Carefully and Carry A Big Book

They say the longest journey is from the head to the heart. How many times we had to 'think' things out, yet how could we possibly think we could make rational decision and make good choice when our minds are fogged up with drugs, our brains confused over mixed messages and old tapes, and how can we really know what we want because most of our life we were told what we should do and believe.

Be proud of the body you're in. After all, the outside is not you.

Spiritual quote by Sylvia Browne

The beauty shows from the inside out. The Inner Self is there trying to portray to you and others the real you.

Osho says, ...Make more and more moments of your life luminous with awareness. Let the candle of awareness burn in each moment, in each act. The cumulaive effect is what enlightenment is. The cumulative affect, all the moments together, all small candles together, become a great source of light.

As we make changes, we slowly become aware, often others see it before we do. We find that our God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves.

Posted on another site in 2011

This came to mind when I was doing the Just for Today chip. It is nice to come and find affirmation and further thoughts on the topic.

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dwmoeller
05-27-2016, 08:55 AM
I like the quote: Recovery is an inside job.

For sobriety to work, a desire to quit is necessary and to realize that if you don't quit, your addiction is going to kill you. You have to be ready to make a change in your life. You have to do it for yourself. Use the tools of recovery that you have learned, work the program, connect with your Higher Power, and always be on guard. There is an inner strength within....tap into it.

MajestyJo
05-29-2016, 07:26 PM
Beings of Light
Human Angels

During each of our journeys, there are those inevitable moments when someone comes into our life at precisely the right time and says or does precisely the right thing. Their words or actions may help us perceive ourselves more clearly, remind us that everything will turn out for the best, help us cope, or see us through difficult situations. These people are human angels – individuals designated by the universe to be of service to those in need at specific points in time. Some human angels make a commitment before their births to make a positive contribution to the world at a particular moment. Others were chosen by the universe. All human angels, however, come into our lives when we least expect them and when we can most benefit from their presence.

A few of the human angels we may encounter are in professions where helping others is an everyday occurrence. But most of them are regular people, going about their daily lives until called upon to be in the right place at the right time to bring peace, joy, help, or heal someone when they most need it. You may have met a human angel in the form of a teacher who gave you a piece of advice that touched your soul and influenced your path. The person that momentarily stopped you to say hello on the street, delaying you long enough to avoid an oncoming car or a collision, is also a human angel. They may offer nothing more than a kind word or a smile, but they will offer it when you can draw the most strength and support from their simple action.

You may be a human angel yet not know it. Your fate or intuition may guide you toward other people’s challenging or distressing situations, leading you to infer that you simply have bad luck. But recognizing yourself as a human angel can help you deal with the pain you see and understand that you are there to help and comfort others during their times of need. Human angels give of their inner light to all who need it, coming into our lives and often changing us forever. Their task has its challenges, but it is they that have the power to teach, bring us joy, and comfort us in times of despair.

What do you think?

This may not be an AA quote, but it sure reminds me of all the guardian angels put in my path, especially those in early recovery. I was truly blessed with a lot of long-timers with 20 plus years of sobriety., along with many who walked their talk and guided me on my own road.

One who comes to the forefront was a gentleman who had 25 years of sobriety and was still going to meetings daily to give back what was given to him. Another one who celebrated 46 years this year, who was my spiritual advisor for many years who told me that just because they were in AA didn't mean what they said was right for me. He said, "They will show you how to work your program and how NOT to work your program." There will always be a message for you if you are open to listening.

I had a Native Elder tell me, "It isn't what you were or who you were when you were born, it is about who you are in today." She gave me a piece of Fools Gold and I gave her a gift of tobacco. I have no Native blood to my knowledge in my body yet I have felt a very strong link to Native culture. Another Elder came to the recovery house and explained the Medicine Wheel. It had a big impact on my Spiritual growth and perspective on my journey.

I have always liked the saying about Step Four. You have to get rid of the darkness so the light of reason can shine. I had to make room for the Light.

The original above was written on another site in 2008.

One of my favourite quotes. I had to do an inventory of what was there, bring it into the light and get honest about it. Bring it out of the darkness of my denial, and bring it into the open, so I could make changes. Some things had to be just adjusted, other things had to be rejected, others acceptance and built on. It wasn't all bad. I had to look at the positive and all that I had buried and suppressed and lighten my burden. This happened after the 4th Step, when I worked the 5th Step.

MajestyJo
06-08-2016, 06:40 PM
DAILT OM

Power, Beauty, And Warmth
Keeping The Sun Inside

Anyone who has endured a long, dark winter can attest to the power the sun has to both invigorate and relax body, mind, and soul. It can be daunting to begin the months of fall and winter, knowing that we may not see as much of the beautiful sun for quite some time. But it is important to remember that even during the darker days of fall and winter, the sun is still there shining, as beautiful as ever. Just because it is hidden behind clouds or setting early in our part of the world, does not mean that we cannot access its power, beauty, and warmth.

One way to do this is to find a warm spot in our house where we can sit or lie down in peace. Closing our eyes, we allow our breath to come and go easily, progressively lengthening each inhale and exhale until we feel very relaxed, peaceful, and warm. We imagine that it is a very warm summer day and that the sun is shining on us, allowing it to warm our body. In particular, we may feel as if a small sun has taken up residence in the area of our solar plexus or our heart. We do not need to think about which one too much and can simply trust our body to let us know where it is. Spend some time just experiencing this sensation, allowing the heat to radiate from inside your body.

If you live in a part of the world that loses a lot of light in the winter, you might want to do this exercise each night before retiring. You could also do it at the beginning of each day, giving yourself a chance to plug into that great source of energy. Keeping the sun inside of you when you are missing it on the outside is a way to say hello to the sun and let it warm your soul.

What do you think?

I call this centering. I do it before I go to bed at night. A form of meditaiton, letting go of all the stress, aches, pain, negativity, and balancing my chakras. Ask for what I need in healing and to be open to the good of what was sent to me in prayer. Asking for what is good for me, and to take away what is not. Asking for protection from anything that is harmful to my health and well being.

For me the Sun is healing. Light is all powerful. When I meditate and ask for the White Light to surround me and permeate my Soul and cleaning of all darkness.

May the White Light of Love and the Spirit of the Universe be with you and grant you the healing that has been given to me.

posted on another site in 2007

MajestyJo
06-08-2016, 06:40 PM
On gray days, I turn all the lights on in my apartment. My friend use to call me a sunshine girl. I had to smile, because a Toronto paper featured a Sunshine Girl in their Saturday addition. I wasn't sure if his idea and mine came from the same place.

For me, the sun is healing and I need to get out in it. If I don't I have to get out the Vitamins "C" and "D." I also take Vitamin B compound.

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MajestyJo
06-10-2016, 07:19 PM
Reflections for Beginners
from
'Hour To Hour - The First 30 Days'
- by Shelly Marshall
the author of 'Day By Day' & other Meditation Books


We can never get enough of what we really do not want. We don't really want drugs, we want what we hope they'll bring us, wholeness, satisfaction, escape from pain.

God, as I understand You, let me see what I really want

We used for many reasons. I know that when something stopped working for me, I went looking for something else and it always seemed to take more, to briing me to a plac where I was comfortable, only to not be able to stop there and having to have more. Always search, always needy, and as I often say, "When I get needy, I get greedy." I want more of what I am having, I want what you are having and what I can talk you out of, and more of anything else that comes my way.

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MajestyJo
06-16-2016, 11:16 PM
A.A. Thought for the Day

Having gotten over drinking, we have only just begun to enjoy the benefits of A.A. We find new friends, so that we are no longer lonely. We find new relationships with our families, so that we are happy at home. We find release from our troubles and worries through a new way of looking at things. We find an outlet for our energies in helping other people. Am I enjoying these benefits of A.A.?

Meditation for the Day

The kingdom of heaven is within you. God sees, as no one can see, what is within you. He sees you growing more and more like Himself. That is your reason for existence, to grow more and more like God, to develop more and more the spirit of God within you. You can often see in others those qualities and aspirations that you yourself possess. So also can God recognize His own spirit in you. Your motives and aspirations can only be understood by those who have attained the same spiritual level as you have.

Prayer for the Day

I pray that I may not expect complete understanding from others. I pray that I may only expect this from God, as I try to grow more like Him.

© 1975 by Hazelden Foundation.

I was told, if you aren't enjoying recovery, what are you doing wrong?

When I put some one or thing between me and my God, I make them the 'god' of the day. My sponsor told me to examine my motive and intent and it will keep me honest.

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MajestyJo
07-05-2016, 05:39 PM
Had a friend ask me about grieving this week. My friend is planning to move and I didn't realize how much grieving is attached to such a big change in your life. She is moving to a positive situation and yet to be able to accept and enjoy the new, you need to grieve the old.

This was posted to help another friend. I was never sexually abused until I was an adult.

Grief is anything that is a loss in your life. Every time I go through change in my routine, in my circumstances, in my day to day living, I need to go through the grieving process. Grief is not a straight forward process, you can jump from one feeling to another and back again and it takes time.

Realized that I have been going through a grieving process with regards to my son. It is so easy to see it in others but when you are in it, it isn't always easy to recognize. I think I have finally come to the acceptance part and there will be no more of the other up and down emotions.

Always thought grief had five stages, this site lists seven.

www.recover-from-grief.com/7-stages-of-grief.html

These could be repeats, found them on another site.

Always good to remember that grief isn't just about a loss of a friend and a death of a loved one. We have a lot to grieve in early recovery.

Be kind to yourself. Find things that soothe your soul.

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MajestyJo
07-10-2016, 12:17 AM
Your expectations

Your expectations can make things more difficult than they would otherwise be. Or they can make things go better than they would otherwise go.

Much depends on what you expect. Positive expectations often pave the way for positive experiences.

Other people pick up on your expectations and, more often than not, will act in accordance with them. So it pays to expect the best of others.

The person most influenced by your expectations is you. When you genuinely expect the best of yourself, something inside you will do everything possible to deliver.

The great thing is, your expectations are yours to decide.

No complex skills or scarce resources are needed in order for you to expect the best of yourself, of others, of this day and this moment.

Your expectations set the range within which your reality operates. Expect the best, and you greatly increase your chances of getting it.

Ralph Marston

Like this, it is generally my expectations that take me from sobriety to being just sober. My sponsor told me sobriety meant soundness of mind.

Living with my dysfunctional family growing up, didn't make for much soundness of mind. With all the fear, insecurities, and discontent, I didn't expect much good, in fact as my life progressed, and I was married, I expected the worse. There didn't seem to be any good. If it was there, I didn't see it or chose not to see it, incase it ruined my pity party.

I had no thought of lowering my expectations, didn't know there was such an animal. I wasn't taught a lot of living skills, didn't have much interaction with the world at large and found it to be a big scary place when I emerged out of my box, only to move into another one. A guy who heard me speak said, "Jo you are the only person I know that would refer to a 200 acre farm as a box." I later saw the box, in the institution of marriage (twice), but the truth of the matter was, I was a prisoner of my own mind. I didn't need bars or walls to keep me in, my mind told me that I dare not venture out, I would only get hurt or hurt more. I wasn't willing to take that risk.

Risk and stretching our boundaries are part of our recovery. The readings have been sharing on allowing ourselves to become vulnerable. The scariest thing I had to do in recovery.

Thanks for letting me share.

This was something I shared on another site in January of 2013.

When I have expectations, I don't have much acceptance. Some people are just not capable of meeting our expectations and we set ourselves up for hurt and disappointment.

I have always put a lot of expectations on myself. I have had to learn to lower them and not be so hard on myself.

MajestyJo
07-15-2016, 07:14 PM
Begetting Change

Same Choices, Same Results

Repeated bouts of adversity are an unavoidable aspect of human existence. We battle against our inner struggles or outer world forces, and in many cases, we emerge on the opposite side of struggle stronger and better equipped to cope with the challenges yet to come. However, we can occasionally encounter trials that seem utterly hopeless. We strike at them with all of our creativity and perseverance, hoping desperately to bring about change, only to meet with the same results as always. Our first instinct in such situations is often to push harder against the seemingly immovable obstruction before us, assuming that this time we will be met with a different outcome. But staying power and stamina net us little when the same choices consistently garner the same results. A change in perspective, behavior, or response can do so much more to help us move past points where no amount of effort seems sufficient to overcome the difficulties before us.

Whether our intention is to change ourselves or some element of the world around us, we cannot simply wish for transformation or hope that our lives will be altered through circumstance. If our patterns of thought and behavior remain unchanged, our lives will continue to unfold much as they have previously. Patterns in which fruitless efforts prevail can be overcome with self examination and courage. It is our bravery that allows us to question the choices we have made thus far and to channel our effort into innovation. Asking questions and making small adjustments to your thought processes and behaviors will help you discover what works, so you can leave that which does not work behind you. To break free from those unconscious patterns that have long held sway over your actions and reactions, you will likely have to challenge your assumptions on a most basic level. You must accept once and for all that your beliefs with regard to cause and effect may no longer be in accorda! nce with your needs.

Stagnation is often a sign that great changes are on the horizon. Courting the change you wish to see in yourself and in the world around you is a matter of acknowledging that only change begets change. The results you so ardently want to realize are well within the realm of possibility, and you need only step away from the well-worn circular path to explore the untried paths that lie beyond it.

What do you think?


Some people say, if nothing changes, nothing changes. Many do not like change in any way, shape, or form.

For me, I embraced change. Going back to where I came from was not an option. I didn't want to stay where I was at and continue in old patterns and behaviours. To do this, mean I left myself open for relapse.

Whether it is a lapse in judgment, a lapse back into an old way of handling and doing things, they are all detrimental to my sobriety (soundness of mind), I didn't want to be that old me, and even in today, I am still a work in progress. It is a one day at a time program.

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MajestyJo
07-28-2016, 10:46 AM
WE CAN HANDLE ALL THAT COMES TO US

We are never divorced from our past - we are in company with it forever, and it acquaints us with the present. Our responses today reflect our experiences yesterday. And these roots lie in the past. We look at the past, check that which appears to be negative and mentally correct it by handling it in our mind as we would now. Then release it and begin again fresh and new. Everyday is offering us preparation for the future, for lessons to come, without which we'd not offer our full measures to the design which contains the development of all of us. Our experiences, past and present are not coincidental. We will be introduced to those experiences that are consistent with our talents and the right lessons designated for the part we are requested to play in life. We can remember that no experiences will attract us that are beyond our capabilities to handle.

PEARL S. BUCK wrote, "One faces the future with one's past."

Are you able to recognize situations in your past and mentally correct them now?

- Antestian Newsletter


Recognizing old pattern and behaviors which no longer serve me in today were hared to identify. They were comfortable. I didn't like change. I liked the familiar. I didn't want to take risks. I didn't want to allow myself to become vulnerable.

I often wondered why I went through the experiences that I did. I came to believe and realize that I had to go through them to become the person I am today. I am able to share with others and hopefully find some compassion and understanding about where they are coming from. I had to learn this for myself. I can't give away what I don't have.

"If my God brings me to it, He will see me through it." Even if I go there in my own willfulness, He will bring me back to where I need to be if and when I ask for His help. Often He has made me revisit situations until I got the message and was willing to make them right.

PEARL S. BUCK wrote, "One faces the future with one's past."


Hopefully, we have learned from our past and are better equipped to handle things in our present, so we don't make the same mistakes that we made in our past. I found myself often in the same situations, but I was able to identify them, and thanks to the program, take the steps to get out, change direction, or not go there if I found myself heading on the wrong path.

It is whatever works for us. We hear many things in the rooms of recovery, some work for others but not for me and things that I do, doesn't work for someone else. It is about finding our program.

It is a 'we' program, and by listening and sharing (we can hear out own thoughts when we speak them and can see where we are at in today), we learn and hopefully grow, one day at a time.

If you keep coming back, this angel will change every day as long as the site is operating.

http://angelwinks.ca/images/angelpod.jpg

MajestyJo
08-21-2016, 05:43 AM
The Twelve Rewards Of Sobriety undefined
These are twelve attributes of personal character that continued practice of the Twelve Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous and our continued Spiritual Fitness will bring to us, the "Recovered" Alcoholic.

1. Faith instead of despair.
2. Courage instead of fear.
3. Hope instead of desperation.
4. Peace of mind instead of confusion.
5. Real friendships instead of loneliness.
6. Self-respect instead of self-contempt.
7. Self-confidence instead of helplessness.
8. A clean conscience instead of a sense of guilt.
9. The respect of others instead of their pity and contempt.
10. A clean pattern of living instead of a hopeless existence.
11. The love and understanding of our families instead of their doubts and fears.
12. The freedom of a happy life instead of the bondage of an alcoholic obsession.

Originally by Ann C. (sober April 1, 1948) of Niles, Ohio and presented at
the 1985 International Convention in Montreal, Canada

This is a post that BW made on another site. Not sure if she posted it here or not, but I found it today and it spoke to me, so I thought I would share it with you.

MajestyJo
08-21-2016, 05:45 AM
It says in the Big Book of AA, we do recover. I will always be an addict! It is up to me to work my program to the best of my ability each day, and I will not have to live in that hopeless state of mind and body.

It says that it could restore us to sanity, and as a friend of mine says, `It doesn`t say it would.`

That insanity can creep back into our lives given the first opportunity. It is up to me to recognize it and do what it takes to stop my dis-ease, and pick upp the tools of recovery, and take me out of that place.

I no longer want to act out in my disease. I have to change the old behaviours, habits, and old ways of thinking, to have a better tomorrow. Tomorrows never come, but I can hope for one and there is a good chance I will make it, if I live my program, one day at a time.

I can`t allow my fear and my past stand in my way of today.

http://media.giphy.com/media/6aI8ZFaoe89y0/giphy.gif

MajestyJo
08-28-2016, 08:49 PM
"Blaming others for the pain we feel each time someone fails to live up to our expectations is no different than burning our tongue on coffee that's too hot to swallow, and then calling our cup an idiot".

- - Guy Finley

The only way I can handle expectations is to lower them so that they are attainable or not set myself up and don't place them at all.

I expect myself to do well. Doing less than, has always been a problem with me. In today, I allow for the fact that I am human although in the past that seemed like an excuse.

I have heard people say, "Well I am only human;" or "I am an addict;" or "I am an alcoholic; or "I am married to an ..., what do you expect." and excuse themselves from change and trying to better themselves.

I think they can be a trust issue. I expect my Higher Power to be there for me and yet, if I am not where He wants me to be and I forgot to take Him with me, then there is a good chance that He is looking the other way.

A post I made in 2009

A good one, for me in today. As it says in the Big Book, I need to raise the level of my acceptance and lower my expectations.

Not only of myself but of others too. Some people are just not capable of meeting our expectations that WE project onto them. Most times, it isn't there job anyway.

MajestyJo
08-28-2016, 08:50 PM
"Blaming others for the pain we feel each time someone fails to live up to our expectations is no different than burning our tongue on coffee that's too hot to swallow, and then calling our cup an idiot".

- - Guy Finley

The only way I can handle expectations is to lower them so that they are attainable or not set myself up and don't place them at all.

I expect myself to do well. Doing less than, has always been a problem with me. In today, I allow for the fact that I am human although in the past that seemed like an excuse.

I have heard people say, "Well I am only human;" or "I am an addict;" or "I am an alcoholic; or "I am married to an ..., what do you expect." and excuse themselves from change and trying to better themselves.

I think they can be a trust issue. I expect my Higher Power to be there for me and yet, if I am not where He wants me to be and I forgot to take Him with me, then there is a good chance that He is looking the other way.

A post I made in 2009

A good one, for me in today. As it says in the Big Book, I need to raise the level of my acceptance and lower my expectations.

Not only of myself but of others too. Some people are just not capable of meeting our expectations that WE project onto them. Most times, it isn't there job anyway.

MajestyJo
08-28-2016, 08:50 PM
"Blaming others for the pain we feel each time someone fails to live up to our expectations is no different than burning our tongue on coffee that's too hot to swallow, and then calling our cup an idiot".

- - Guy Finley

The only way I can handle expectations is to lower them so that they are attainable or not set myself up and don't place them at all.

I expect myself to do well. Doing less than, has always been a problem with me. In today, I allow for the fact that I am human although in the past that seemed like an excuse.

I have heard people say, "Well I am only human;" or "I am an addict;" or "I am an alcoholic; or "I am married to an ..., what do you expect." and excuse themselves from change and trying to better themselves.

I think they can be a trust issue. I expect my Higher Power to be there for me and yet, if I am not where He wants me to be and I forgot to take Him with me, then there is a good chance that He is looking the other way.

A post I made in 2009

A good one, for me in today. As it says in the Big Book, I need to raise the level of my acceptance and lower my expectations.

Not only of myself but of others too. Some people are just not capable of meeting our expectations that WE project onto them. Most times, it isn't there job anyway.

http://www.lovethispic.com/uploaded_images/229916-Attention-Have-A-Good-Sunday-And-Good-Morning-.jpg

MajestyJo
08-30-2016, 10:13 PM
Quote of the Week

"My definition of balance is being able to obsess equally in all areas of my life!"

As an alcoholic I completely understand all or nothing thinking. When I was in my disease, I used to obsessively plan out my drinking and using, always making sure I had the right amount of drugs on me, and I would even drink before meeting friends at the bar just so I could pretend to drink like them. In the end, my obsession consumed me and drove me into the rooms.

Once I started working the steps, I began obsessing on other things. For a while I was consumed with dying, sure I had done irreparable damage to myself during my years of using. Next I became obsessed with the fear of financial insecurity, this time convinced I had ruined my professional future. And then I got into a relationship and that obsession nearly drove me to drink. During my sixth step I realized that I had to surrender my obsessive thinking if I wanted to stay sober.

For me surrendering my obsessive thinking came down to a question of faith - did I or didn't I trust that my Higher Power would take care of me? As I began to obsess on that, my sponsor told me that faith wasn't a thought but rather an action. He suggested I begin letting go and letting God, and each time I did my life got a little better.

Today I know that obsessing isn't the answer, turning it over is.

Wisdom of the Rooms

Surrender is not giving up, it is giving over to our Higher Power.

http://angelwinks.ca/images/kayomi/kayomi10.jpg

MajestyJo
09-12-2016, 02:06 PM
In living with the disease of alcoholism, I became a very fearful person who dreaded change. Although my life was full of chaos., it was familiar chaos, which gave me the feeling that I had some control over it. This was an illusion. I have learned in Al-Anon that I am powerless over alcoholism and many other things. I've also learned that chante is inevitable.

I no longer have to assume that change is bad because I can look back at changes that have had a very positive effect on me, such as coming to Al-Anon.

I still have many fears, but the Al-Anon program has shown me that my Higher Power willhelp me walk through them. I believe that there is a Power greater than myself, and I choose to trust this Power to know exactly what I need and when I need it.

Today's Reminder

Today I can accept the changes occurring in my life and live more comfortably with them. I will trust in the God of my understanding, and my fears will diminish. I relax in this knowledge, knowing that I am always taken care of when I listen to my inner voice.

"We may wonder how we are going to get through all the stages and phases, the levels of growth and recovery.... Knowing we are not alone often quiets our fears and helps us gain perspective."

- Living with Sobriety

We are not alone. I need to reach out and ask for help. My God will put the people in my life that I need to show me a better way of life.

That courage doesn't come from me. The knowing is given to me by my Higher Power. All things come through Him and it has been my goal for the last 25 years, to be a channel, so that I may help others.

MajestyJo
09-27-2016, 06:05 PM
WE CAN HANDLE ALL THAT COMES TO US

We are never divorced from our past - we are in company with it forever, and it acquaints us with the present. Our responses today reflect our experiences yesterday. And these roots lie in the past. We look at the past, check that which appears to be negative and mentally correct it by handling it in our mind as we would now. Then release it and begin again fresh and new.

Everyday is offering us preparation for the future, for lessons to come, without which we'd not offer our full measures to the design which contains the development of all of us. Our experiences, past and present are not coincidental. We will be introduced to those experiences that are consistent with our talents and the right lessons designated for the part we are requested to play in life. We can remember that no experiences will attract us that are beyond our capabilities to handle.

PEARL S. BUCK wrote, "One faces the future with one's past."

Are you able to recognize situations in your past and mentally correct them now?

- Antestian Newsletter

We can wallow in the past or live in today. We can live one day at a time or miss out on life by projecting into the future.

Never base today on past events. Remember to take your God with you. He understands you, even if you don't understand Him.

http://angelwinks.ca/images/lovepod/lovepod9.gif

MajestyJo
10-01-2016, 10:28 PM
Whatever effort necessary

When you're willing to make an initial effort, you'll succeed sometimes. Take the next step, make a second effort, and you'll succeed more often.

If you're prepared to make a third, fourth, or fifth effort, you'll reach a much higher success rate. And when you commit to putting forth whatever effort is necessary, you will achieve whatever you choose.

Real and lasting success usually requires more than one attempt. If you make just a single attempt and then give up, you haven't given yourself much of an opportunity to achieve.

There is no reason to become discouraged if you fail to reach your goal on the first attempt, or even the second or third. For each effort, though it may not get you there, gets you closer.

Even an unsuccessful attempt gives you valuable knowledge and experience, and vastly increases the likelihood of success on the next attempt. When you continue getting closer each time, you surely and eventually will get where you intend to go.

The roads leading to the most beautiful places always twist and turn and double back on themselves. Keep making the effort, no matter what, and you will reach the beautiful places where you wish to be.

-- Ralph Marston


It is so important to invest my time in making effort to enrich my sobriety. Sober was never enough for me. I wanted the gifts of recovery, the freedom from active addiction in all areas of my life. Recovery is a living program and I only get out of it what I put into it.

We have the tools, we have the good orderly direction when we need it, we are given the strength and courage to see our way through life's trials and tribulations as well as the blessings.

http://fc01.deviantart.net/fs7/f/2005/265/9/3/BUN.gif

MajestyJo
10-09-2016, 09:09 PM
Recovery Is a Learning Proces

http://www.angelwinks.ca/images/beanangel/beanangel1.gif

Recovery is about learning to love and value yourself enough
to stop destroying yourself. It's about learning to change your
mind and your heart. It's about forgiving yourself and others.
It's about letting go of shame and learning to accept your true
self.

Recovery is about letting go of the lofty expectation of
perfection that you have placed upon yourself and others.
It's learning to love and accept yourself and others
unconditionally.

Recovery is about learning to use your anger as the fuel to
create something good, rather than denying it or holding it
inside until you self-destruct or strike out at another.

Recovery is about learning that you have a choice: You can
choose to be hopeful rather than hopeless; you can choose
to act from faith rather than react from fear; and you can
choose to enjoy life rather than merely survive it.

- Donna Newman

MajestyJo
10-23-2016, 09:17 AM
~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Taking just a little

If we are trying to stay clean and sober while drinking a little beer or smoking a little pot, we are missing the mark. We can never know sobriety and cleanness under those conditions. Our programs cannot be effective or honest if we use any type of mind-altering chemical.

If you sincerely want the freedom, serenity, and joy of a drug-free existence, doing “a little” will never get it for you.

Have I learned that taking just a little invariably ends up in taking way too much?

Higher Power, show me the ways I try to trick myself into using mind-altering chemicals and keep me from them.

Today I will remember my powerlessness by

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

Substitution doesn't work. It kept me sick for another 8 years, and it was a miracle that I lived to find recovery. I also had to address my eating disorder, my smoking, my work/busy addictionn, computer addiction, and I got so involved in service helping others, I forgot that I had to take time to work on my own issues. I had to learn to top myself up and only give away the overflow. Every year I would suffer from burn out.

Who ever heard of taking just a little. Even one, was never in my thoughts or vocabulalry.

How can I be a clean channel if I continue to abuse my body, mind, and spirit.

http://angelwinks.ca/images/faithpod/faithpod4.jpg

MajestyJo
11-06-2016, 10:41 AM
People think that they're going to get sober by osmosis and going to 90 meetings in 90 days. But there's only one way to obtain and maintain sobriety and that's through the progam folded within these 164 pages. - Ted H.

- The Alkiespeaks

So many who come into the rooms and hear the little slogans and cliques and take them literally, or should say literal from their perspective. This is a disease of perception, so it only stand to reason when you are new, you don't always see and hear things they way they are meant, that is why it is good to keep coming back. Keep coming so you don't have to come back.

The blueprint to recovery is in the first 164 pages. The whole book is readable, so is the literature in the fellowship. To enrich me spiritually, I read a lot of things and studies a lot of things. I didn't have much faith in the God of my understanding, and AA was my Higher Power until I became dissolutioned by people who didn't walk their talk. Then I had to learn, look and listen to the message not the messenger.

Because I qualified for many fellowships, I went to AA for my denial. I did not think I was an alcoholic. An addict, no problem, an adult child of an alcoholic for sure, and the mother of a self-admitted alcohlic son qualified me to walk through the doors of Al-Anon. I feel I was fortunate, because I could look at things from both sides of the street.

Recovery is a process, it is not a quick fix. I had to find what I need for my own recovery. I wasn't unique as a person, but I was unique in the fact that no one walked in my shoes, and what was traumatic for me, might not be so to someone else. What was traumatic for someone else, might not have happened to me or held any fear for me.

I had to go to 90 meetings to see if I wanted to stay sober, then I could start building a program. I didn't even have a home group at 3 months. I was one of the really sick ones.

MajestyJo
11-06-2016, 10:42 AM
Some people think that 90 meetings in 90 days is the program. We need to be careful that we don't send out mixed messages or messages that are misleading.

I know a guy who thought "Keep coming back" mean he could relapse, go out do his thing, when he got sick, he could come back and start again. It does mean keep coming back to AA. It also means, keep coming back to meetings so you don't have to relapse. Keep coming so you don't have to come back.

How boring and stressful it would be if everything was on a timetable. Oh I have to do this in 90 days and if not I have failed. You don't want to tell anyone, so you run away and use because you don't think you can so you don't try.

The program is keep coming back to meetings, get a group, get a sponsor, get active in your group, get a relationship with your sponsor by talking to her(him), calling her(him) on the phone and working the steps with her(him). As I have heard several times in the recovery rooms, get a sponsor who is opposite your sexual preferance because we don't want a lot of sponsettes running around the rooms.

The program for me is, don't use no matter what. Do whatever you need to do to stay clean and sober for this 24 hours. A day can start any time, so if this one isn't going so well, say the Serenity Prayer, think of what it means, and start your day again.

MajestyJo
11-06-2016, 10:42 AM
Questioning the Program:

Alkiespeaks:

Knowing why I was an alcoholic doesn't help. The ship hits an iceberg, it's sinking, everyone is rowing away. But you're on the deck saying; 'I'm not leaving this baby until I understand what happened.' - Clancy I.

Always with the questions! I was told to quit intellectualizing, and if I was still questioning, I was told to 'Stop' and just accept what is. The program has worked for many years, it works when you work it.

People will say the program didn't work for me. They didn't ask why it didn't and what they were doing wrong. It had to be the program not them. This is a disease of perception.

So many times, I was in a mental fog, totally clueless as to what was going on around me. I never questioned things or I wanted to know the ins and outs. There was no balance, it seemed like it was either/or, no inbetween.

The program works if you work for it. This means going to meetings, doing Step work and doing service work.

When you think about it, how can you know what you have never been taught? How can you know, if you don't stick around long enough to find out? How can you find what works for you if you don't try to apply the words and principles to your life? How can you know what to change if you don't take an inventory of what is there.

One day at a time it does work.

MajestyJo
11-11-2016, 05:11 AM
You are reading from the book Twenty Four Hours a Day Hardcover (24 Hours)

A.A. Thought for the Day

The new life of sobriety we are learning to live in A.A. is slowly growing on us and we are beginning to get some of that deep peace of mind and serenity that we never thought were possible. At first we may have doubted that this could happen to us, but after any considerable length of time in A.A., looking at the happy faces around us, we know that somehow it is happening to us. In fact, it cannot help happening to anyone who takes the A.A. program seriously day by day. Can I see my own happiness reflected in the faces of others?

Meditation for the Day

God does not withhold His presence from you. He does not refuse to reveal more of His truth to you. He does not hold back His spirit from you. He does not withhold the strength that you need. His presence, His truth, His spirit, His strength are always immediately available to you, whenever you are fully willing to receive them. But they may be blocked off by selfishness, intellectual pride, fear, greed, and materialism. We must try to get rid of these blocks and let God's spirit come in.

Prayer for the Day

I pray that I may remove all blocks that are keeping me from God. I pray that I may let God come into my life with power.

How many times we can't see or feel that we can do because we put up blocks, mental, emotional, spiritual and phsyical barriers to excuse our behaviour and to stop us from moving forward and changing out of our comfort zone.

I can't do this because.... I don't feel.... I don't think.... All the beginnings of putting up barriers which stop us from moving forward and growing in recovery.

It is because I am back in the "I" mode and have blocked God from leading me to where He would have me go. I can talk a good story, and yet instead of walking my talk, I am standing still, if not retreating back into what I think is my safe zone.

Often it is about taking risks, trusting my Higher Power to be there whether I succeed or fail. The failure is in the not trying.

MajestyJo
11-12-2016, 12:56 PM
"On a practical level, changes occur because what's appropriate to one phase of recovery may not be for another."

Basic Text p. 101

It is nice to have something I believe strongly in, affirmed in a reading or by another recovering addict.

It has been my experience, many times over that something that was good in the moment, doesn't not always stay that way. Things change, and things no longer serve me the way they use to and I need to rethink things and continue to grow and change.

Sometimes it is just a new awareness, a new memory, a new defect that has developed that I hadn't been aware of or have developed as a result of something that happened in today or have one that I asked for help on reappear and raise it's ugly head.

I pray that I will continue to grow in honesty with myself and others.

MajestyJo
11-12-2016, 12:57 PM
Today in my readings and reading from other sites, the words that have come up have all asked me to be honest with myself.

It is so easy to skim over something and think, "Oh it isn't that bad!" or think "It isn't as bad as it use to be" and excuse myself from really looking at something.

For example, today I am really tired. I have been on the go all week and really need a down time and yet the word 'laundry' keeps popping into my head. I know I have been procrastinationg about it, but then on the whole, I haven't been home with a lot of time to do it or have no energy when I got home to even contemplate doing it.

Unfortunately, I do have enough clothes to last me until Tuesday because I have to conserve my energy to work four hours on Monday. I can change the sheets on my bed and get them ready to be laundered. I have already changed the towels and done the do things. What I need to do is look at what I have done and not focus on what hasn't been done. Stay in the moment and live in today and do the do things I need for myself. That takes honesty, if I don't know what my needs are, how can they be met if I don't turn them over to my HP and ask for help.

This is a quote I found on another site:


Time for Joy - Book - Quote

Today I need to do nothing more than pray and meditate. I trust that all the energies of the universe are working in my behalf. I can sleep comfortably in the knowledge that God is working when I am not.

Love this quote, "...God is working when I am not." I need to remember that.

This angel will change daily. Like the quote says, it will be changing without help from me.

http://angelwinks.ca/images/angelpod.jpg

MajestyJo
11-19-2016, 09:13 PM
Letting Go of Timing

"When the time is right, child." When the time is right. How often have we heard those words - from a friend, a sponsor, our Higher Power?

We want things so badly - that job, that check, a relationship, a possession. We want our life to change.

So we wait, sometimes patiently, sometimes anxiously, wondering all the while: When will the future bring me what I long for? Will I be happy then?

We try to predict, circling dates on the calendar, asking questions. We forget that we don't hold the answers. The answers come from God. If we listen closely, we'll hear
them. When the time is right, child. When the time is right.

Be happy now.......

Today, I will relax. I am being prepared. I can let go of timing. I can stop manipulating outcomes. Good things will happen when the time is right, and they will happen naturally.

From: The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie

I was told that if I turned things over to my Higher Power, I will know. If I have doubt, should I, could I, then the time is not right. When the time is right, I WILL know.

I have to practice patience and tolerance, because it is in my God's time, not mine.

MajestyJo
11-23-2016, 06:37 AM
Have a friend who looks at life the same way as the first half of the quote below does. For me, it is too negative. If I think negative, I attract it too me. It has been my experience, that when I live in the moment and not project into the future, I can walk in faith. Things just never turn out as badly as I thought they would when I take my Higher Power with me on my daily journey. I don't have that "Why me?" attitude and can accept things more readily. When I get that feeling, I have to ask myself "Why not me?"

That prepares me for what ever comes my way, positive or negative. I don't go looking for things to happen. I try to live in today, and when I encounter negative, I ask myself, "What can I do to change it?"

"It is better to be prepared for the worst, and have it not happen, then to have it happen and not be prepared.

Staying close to God will help you be prepared for anything.

Love the second half of the quote posted in 2009 on another site, it still rings true in 2016. Lest I forget, what brought me to the doors of recovery will take me back out if I don't deal with it. It will trip me up and I could end up going back out. It doesn't have to be a physical bottom, I have had emotional and spiritual bottoms in recovery.

http://www.netanimations.net/3259.gif

MajestyJo
01-03-2017, 10:23 PM
~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Learning new ways

Once we make a connection with our Higher Power, the ongoing problem is to hold on to it. Repeatedly we slip into our old ways of thinking and behaving. If not curtailed, eventually these will lead us back to that first fix, pill, or drink. We need only a word, thought, or familiar situation to get caught up again in an old habit.

We have to discover (and rediscover) that the old way of life has become impossible and the new one essential. We do this—and do it again—by praying, meditating, and working the Twelve Steps of recovery.

Am I living the program?

Higher Power, help me avoid being smug and complacent in my new life. Remind me that old ways of living have become impossible for me.

The new ways of living that I will cultivate today are

God help me to stay clean and sober today!
Just realized while posting, that I use to have this book in early recovery. I must be one of the books I passed on, along with three Just for Today books, and two Basic texts and It Works, How and Why: The Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions of Narcotics Anonymous. I also gave away two In God's Care books by Karen Casey. What helps me, will hopefully help another.

https://tse1.mm.bing.net/th?id=OIP.M0b46b37d4ecd3e32029009d76ecf2e1bo0&pid=15.1&P=0&w=300&h=300

MajestyJo
01-04-2017, 09:29 PM
Each Day a New Beginning.

Tears are like rain. They loosen up our soil so we can grow in different directions. --Virginia Casey


Full self-expression softens our being, while self-reservation makes us brittle. Our wholeness is enhanced each time we openly acknowledge our feelings and share our many secrets. The tears that often accompany self-disclosure, self-assessment, or the frustration of being "stuck" seem to shift whatever blocks we have put in our paths.

At each stage of our lives, we are preparing for yet another stage. Our growth patterns will vary, first in one direction, and then another. It's not easy to switch directions, but it's necessary. We can become vulnerable, accept the spiritual guidance offered by others and found within, and the transition from stage to stage will be smooth.

Tears shed on the rocky places of our lives can make tiny pebbles out of the boulders that block our paths. But we also need to let those tears wash away the blinders covering our eyes. Tears can help us see anew if we're willing to look straight ahead--clearly, openly, and with expectation of a better view.

Tears nurture the inner me. They soften my rootedness to old behavior. They lesson my resistance to new growth.

Love this. Tears are so healing. Many times I come to the site and read old posts, especially when I am not have a great day, and my God leads me to where I need to go, and the tears will slip out and run down my cheeks, and I don't even know what I am crying about.

I never did do tears well, so it was good when they started falling on their own, or so it seemed. My God doing for me what I could not do for myself.

https://tse3.mm.bing.net/th?id=OIP.99Sl0SY0ayx10Ky4mc4FWwBoCp&pid=15.1&P=0&w=300&h=300

dwmoeller
01-05-2017, 09:47 AM
Tears don't always come easy for guys. We've been told: Tears are a sign of weakness. Don't be a crybaby! Big boys don't cry!

I have cried in my recovery and have felt the healing power of tears. Don't hold back...if the rocky places in life brings you to tears, let it out. Let the tears flow like rain.

MajestyJo
01-26-2017, 10:00 PM
As we say in the meetings, the last three letters of these words spell TRY. That is all we are asked to do.

We live this program one day at a time, and we try our best to stay clean and sober for just one day. Many think of sober as not being drunk, for me it means soundness of mind. After all, alcohol is a drug.

When we come into recovery, all we are asked to bring with us is a desire to stop using, nothing more, nothing less. It is suggested that you do 90 meetings in 90 days, listen and see if you can identify, find the people who have what you want, and find yourself a sponsor and a home group. They will direct you on a path of recovery which helped them and share their experience, strength and hope. Hopefully, you will find something there that will help you.

We can't go back, so hopefully, in today, we can all try one day at a time to live and share in the moment.

Just for today, I choose not to use.

http://www.gifs.net/Animation11/Animals/Barn_Animals/Cow_chews.gif

MajestyJo
02-02-2017, 10:39 PM
Do you look back and remember
When your life was living Hell?
When denial and deception reined.
Hopelessness was the outer shell?
Does that time in your life remain clear in your mind?
Reminders of powerlessness and fear that you find
To ahunt you; to discourage you; to drive you insane?

Then search down inside yourself and see if you can find
that unique and special person who is hiding just behind
All the anger, guilt, and resentment seething below
Or behind the many masks you allow the world to know.

An option is to take a risk and to set that person free
To take a step to freedom and to let the whole world see
The genuine, honest person you are desperately trying to be
But the choices that must be made, are left to you indeed
If the goal that you have set is for recovery to succeed.

So get back to basics; take it one day at a time
Remember easy does it; and Thy will be done; not mine.
And if you have slipped and had a fall,
And you feel as if you have lost it all?
Remember that you are human,
Mistakes are often made
To continue on this rocky road willend up in the trade
Of a life filled with promises, serenity and care
For a life filled with devastation, depression and despair.

Now, get back down to basics; and get right back on track
Learn how to focus, and not just to react
And begin to forgive yourself, so you can bring you back
To the road to sobriety, with recovery intact.


I think this is from Lois Stargrett. I know her work and I have copied a lot of it. I got this from another site and felt like sharing it. Whenever I am hurting, I know, that is what I need to do, get back to basics.

MajestyJo
03-04-2017, 12:35 AM
DEAR DRINK,


There you are my dear old friend.

Stayed with me till the bitter end.

I still remember when we met,

The day I fell into your net.

You made me feel like I belonged

To dance with courage, sing a song.

We did it all just for kicks,

Always snagged the prettiest chicks.

What fun we had amongst each other.

My best friend, my soul brother.

With you, I fell in love with life.

And likewise with my lovely wife.

What joy, when each child was born.

Life was good; not a thing to morn.

What a feeling with our first car.

And the thrill of owning our very own bar.

We had it all, with nothing to dread.

A brand new home and a cushy bed.

Respected members of society

Marching so far from sobriety.

Living a life I could never believe.

But devious you, had tricks up your sleeve.

I had it all; too blind to see.

You easily took it all from me.

Such a sneaky son of a gun.

You made me think I was having fun.

Your firm grip, held me sure.

Life falling apart, my mind in a blur.

I finally awoke amid all the wreckage.

Doing your bidding, a good dog who fetches.

Tried running fast and as far as I could.

But always came back like you knew I would.

You dragged me down to the depths of hell.

Pulling me back when I thought I was well.

Yes my friend, if you had your thunder.

I'd be broken, lying six feet under.

Guess what you bastard? I'm still alive.

And I've found what I need so I can survive.

Yes you gave me one hell of a ride.

Now you must run; now you must hide.

I walk tall with my head held high.

With you gone, I don't live that lie.

I have new friends and places to meet

Where you're not welcome to take a seat.

I found peace, met serenity.

My cleansed soul is a new entity.

I have a Big Book to keep you at bay.

I have a new Guide to show me the way.

My Higher Power's more powerful than you,

Who loves me no matter what you do.

I've been freed from the bondage of self,

Earning something far greater than wealth.

So don't even think of returning, you fool.

For your every trick, I now have a tool.

I'm getting it back, all that you cost.

God has replaced you, Addiction get lost.

Not truly yours,

Mac

MajestyJo
03-31-2017, 12:25 AM
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MajestyJo
04-09-2017, 09:53 PM
The first step to forgiveness

"To get to forgiveness, we first have to work through the painful experiences that require it."

-- Christiane Northrup

To forgive, we do not have to say that whatever happened was okay. In fact, before we can forgive, we need to allow ourselves to really feel the pain of the experience. If we don’t fully acknowledge our hurts, we will continue to carry them subconsciously and they will drain our energy.

To forgive, we need to decide that we won’t allow the memories of the event to poison us any longer. We’re ready to heal this wound from the past and open to a fresh new beginning.

The blessing is that when we’re really ready to experience our pain and we open to it, it usually fades away. By honouring our pain, we release it.

"We must let ourselves feel all the painful destruction we want to forgive rather than swallow it in denial. If we do not face it, we cannot choose to forgive it."

-- Kenneth McNoll

Higher Awareness - used with permission

Before I could truly forgive others, I had to forgive myself. As the slogan says, "Let it begin with me."

http://angelwinks.ca/images/iq/qcfrog463.jpg

MajestyJo
04-30-2017, 08:28 PM
"Freedom to change seems to come after acceptance of ourselves." NA Basic Text. p. 56


Fear and denial are the opposites of acceptance. None of us are perfect, even in our own eyes; all of us have certain traits that, given the chance, we would like to change. We sometimes become overwhelmed when contemplating how far short we fall of our ideals, so overwhelmed that we fear there's no chance of becoming the people we'd like to be. That's when our defence mechanism of denial kicks in, taking us to the opposite exreme: nothing about ourselves needs changing, we tell ourselves, so why worry? Neither extreme gives us the freedom to change.

Whether we are long-time NA members or new to recovery, the freedom to change is acquired by working the Twelve Steps. When we admit our powerlesness and the unmanageability of our lives, we counteract the lie that says we don't have to change. In coming to believe that a Power greater than we are can help us, we lose our fear that we are damaged beyond repair; we come to believe we can change. We turn ourselves over to the care of the God of our understanding and tap the strength we need to make a thorough, honest examination of ourselves. We admit to God, to ourselves, and to another human being what we've found. We accept the good and the bad in ourselves; with this acceptance, we become free to change.

Just for today: I want to change. By working the steps, I will counter fear and denial and find the acceptance need to change.

THOUGHT FOR TODAY:

For many years I looked at life through rose-coloured glasses. If I didn't see it, it wasn't there. I certainly wasn't willing to look at myself, so it was much easier to put the blinders on, and exist in life with tunnel vision. When I got jolted into reality, I had to ask myself, "Am I really that bad?" The answer was, "Yes! You are!" It was only then that I was able to reach out and ask for help. Before I quit smoking and had an honest desire to do so, I would say to my sponsor, friend and my aunt, "If you are going to pray for me, do so quietly, so I don't hear you; because when I hear, it just adds to my attitude, don't tell me, don't show me, don't say I can,t - WATCH ME!"

Recovery for me has been a change in attitude. Getting rid of the denial of who I was, what I had become, and being open to change.

I can't make the change until I can find the acceptance....

MajestyJo
04-30-2017, 08:30 PM
"Our newly found faith serves as a firm foundation for courage in the future."

Basic Text, p. 93


This reminded my of how important it was to me to build a foundation of support on which to build on and see me through the rough times. I had sponsors, co-sponsors, spiritual advisors and counselors along with them members of the fellowship.

I had a belief in the Fellowship and well as the God who I came to believe in.

Someone recently said to me: "Don't forget the Power!"

What is your Source! What is your foundation! What works for you?

My journey has been one of personal enlightenment along the way. It comes from many sources and yet I believe it is one God who governs all.

http://i667.photobucket.com/albums/vv36/MajestyJo/Today/0131.gif

MajestyJo
06-03-2017, 12:40 AM
Let go of blame

"My days of whining and complaining about others have come to an end. Nothing is easier than fault finding."

-- Og Mandino

We often expect other people to meet our needs. When they don’t give us what we want, we may feel anger, resentment and even revengeful. Rather than blaming others, we could choose to get in touch with our needs and then fill them ourselves.

"Take your life in your own hands and what happens? A terrible thing: no one to blame."

-- Erica Jong

"Life appears to me too short to be spent in nursing animosity or registering wrong."

-- Charlotte Bronte

- Higher Awareness

Was just sharing with a member tonight of how we need to build a relationship with our God, our sponsor, and with ourselves, before we get into a relationship with another. How can we tell someone what we need, if we don't know ourselves.

I almost died from playing the blame game. I continued that game relationship after relationship, and the last guy got all the sins of those who had gone before him, because I didn't know how to grieve, forgive, and let go.

As the Al-Anon slogan says, "Let it begin with me." It isn't about the other person, it is about me and living clean and sober myself.

I can hide and not look at my own program, if I hide in others. It is good to do service, but I need to top myself up each day. I can't give away what I don't have.

http://angelwinks.ca/images/generalpod/generalpod1109.jpg

MajestyJo
06-06-2017, 07:46 PM
We need to accept we are incomplete and imperfect human beings. Recovery will come, not from shame, but from honestly accepting our powerlessness and the help we need.

This is a quote from an old post made four years ago on relapse.

It is amazing how a light can go on when you read or hear someone else's wisdom. They just seem to put into words what I am thinking or trying to say but in words that are clear and bring a new spiritual awareness.

Relapse happens with the thinking long before I pick up a substance that takes me out of the reality of today. Thankfully for me it hasn't been a drug or a drink, and yet I can pick up things that lead to that same old soul sickness and way of thinking.

I can't give away what I don't have. I can't share on recovery if I am still not recovering. What I did 25 years ago, 8 months ago or even 16 days ago, won't keep me sober (soundness of mind) in today.

Today I don't feel shame in who I am. There are days I feel shame for others but that is none of my business and is something I have to detach from.

How many times I have thought "I am embarrassed for them!"

"If they could only see themselves, would they continue...."

I am powerless and when I don't accept that my life becomes unmanageable. When I think I am the power, my life becomes unmanageable; and it isn't until I surrender and get honest, that I can restore that manageability. When I surrender, I am empowered to help myself which brings me back to being God-centered instead of Self-centered.

MajestyJo
06-13-2017, 11:59 PM
Today, I will let go of my fears about trusting myself. I am willing to make decisions, no matter what the outcome may be.

The past does not dictate the future. Be willing to make
mistakes, and open to learning from them.
---------------------------------------------------------
Today, I am able to grow and change.

There are times when someone you love may not be growing and changing alongside you. You can still continue to progress,
no matter what others are not doing. To progress, we must continue, no matter what.
----------------------------------------------------------
Today, I will choose to be alive and to enjoy the everyday adventure of living.

It takes more muscles to frown than it does to smile, and you can't smile and frown at the same time. Try it in front of a mirror.
You'll see.

received from Inspiration Plus


This was received from a friend a long time ago and posted to one of my sites.

It reminds me that life is often about how I perceive myself and how willing I am to change. If I am caught up in negative thinking and think I there is nothing wrong with me or I think I am unworthy and undeserving of recovery, then I can't make a true attempt at the Steps to make the changes.

Realized this could go in either recovery section. It is important to look in the mirror, get honest, and take responsibility and take charge of my life.

Through trusting my Higher Power, I can learn to trust myself and know that I am not alone and if He brings me to it, He will see me through it.

Old post of mine posted in 2010 from another site.

Always believed in God, didn't think He believed in me, so didn't have a lot of trust that He would be on my side. Life didn't seem to be too heavenly, for the most part, it was a living h*ll. I didn't trust God, so how could I trust myself.

MajestyJo
06-14-2017, 12:01 AM
Learned to trust my God by the little things in life. When I added them all up, they became big things. My God working in my life, doing for me what I couldn't do for myself.

Not all fears have gone, but over the years I have overcome a lot of them, like fear of storms, bridges, grates, saying the wrong thing and doing the wrong thing. I have had major healing within myself, so how can I not believe.

Catching my blessings one by one.

http://www.angelwinks.ca/images/snowglobes/kimmy9.gif

MajestyJo
06-26-2017, 09:47 PM
I like to look at the old posts. I can see the growth or the lapse in my thinking and allows me to take a good look at myself. It is nice to see that you still think the same today as when you originally posted. The talk coming from my fingers has not changed and has remained constant. I still have the pain, still working through it and not using.

Recover is progress, not perfection. The nice thing is, that even when I make a mistake, it is progress. It is a lesson learned.

If it wasn't progress, not perfection, I would have failed and left a long time ago. If the old me, Ms Perfection hadn't handed over her rains to God, I would not have gotten very far and would probably have given up and retreated.

Posted as Caressa in 2010

MajestyJo
06-26-2017, 09:48 PM
Progress not perfection, doesn't mean I should be still accepting old ways after being in the program for so many years. I was one of the really sick ones, so I did have a lot of work to do. It does take daily maintenance though and that is where Steps 10, 11, & 12 come in. Practice these principles in all our affairs, the principles we learned doing the first 9 Steps.

Say progress not perfection, doesn't mean I have to do things perfectly, but what I do in today should be much better than when I came into recovery. I can beat myself up in falling short in my expectations let alone all the mistakes I have made to get to where I am in today.

Maybe my perception is off. It is a disease of perception. I try to make apoint of asking for it to be healed if I find it a little bit out of kilter.

The Swan means grace. But for the grace of God, I would not be here in today.

http://angelwinks.ca/images/gnpod/gnpod12.jpg

MajestyJo
07-05-2017, 06:12 PM
Each Day a New Beginning

One doesn't recognize in one's life the really important moments--not until it's too late. --Agatha Christie

Every moment is special and offers us an opportunity--to let an experience change us in an important way, to invite another person into our life, to nurture the growing, changing woman within. Life's events move so rapidly we seldom relish the moments individually, but each day teems with tiny gifts divinely designed for our well-being. The woman smiled at in the grocery store yesterday or the man acknowledged on the bus last week felt special. And we were softened, too, by our expression.

We change, and we change our world when we acknowledge one another's presence in it. The wonderful reality is that we are in another's world because of the special qualities we each have and are able to share with one another.

For many of us, in times past, no moment felt important. The days were simply long and painful. But now, we can relish even the past pain for what it taught us. We know now that we can look to this day before us with expectation. We can be conscious of every moment, thankful for every experience and every person we encounter.

In this inner game of life, I share the court, and I will have my turn to serve. To really live, I must participate fully.


Like this, I think of the word we use to see a lot of a few years ago, "participaction." I have to taken an active part in my life. I can't just sit there and let the world pass me by.

http://www.angelwinks.ca/images/snowglobes/webwithart38.gif

MajestyJo
07-15-2017, 06:39 AM
Trust the Process of Growth

Be patient with yourself. It takes time to work out issues, to work through things. It takes time to learn lessons. The more important the lesson, the longer the cycle to work it out and work it through.

We may live in a technical age, but our souls aren't technical. They're still connected to nature. We grow and change as nature does. Learn her ways. Study her seasons and cycles, and know those same seasons and cycles are in each of us. The process of change is like planting a seed and watching it grow and bloom into a flower.

What are you trying to develop? A project? A change in yourself? Is there something new you're learning, trying to do? Are you trying to adjust to a major change in your life? Is there an old habit you're struggling to let go of? A love relationship or friendship you're hoping to begin or attempting to end?

Each stage of the process of growth and change is important. From those first moments when we see the idea, or the change begins, to those long moments of nurturing and nourishing the idea, each stage counts. Is there a change in your life that's begun, one you've started to notice? Are you thinking about it a lot, talking about it a lot, but not quite ready to take action? That stage is important too. You're nurturing and nourishing the seeds of change.

It takes time for nature to change things into what they're becoming. It takes time for things to develop. Be patient with yourself and life. Trust the process of growth.

- Journey to the Heart

This reminds me I didn't get this way overnight, even in recovery, never mind before recovery, so I can't expect to heal and get better overnight. This is not a quick fix program. It is a one day at a time program. Just because I worked on something before, doesn't mean it can't come back again, and I have to work on it again. It might not be the same, hopefully we will have grown enough to have new enlightenment.

MajestyJo
07-15-2017, 06:42 AM
It was really important for me to trust the process. To know that things happen when they should. When I am ready, the teacher will appear, if I am open and willing to change.

As it says in the reading, that it doesn't happen over night. We didn't get this way overnight. We have a lot of fears and phobia to overcome. A lot of mixed messages to identify and accept or reject according to the person we want to be in today.

Trust that through my Higher Power I will know what is good for me. If I turn my day over, then I will get the Good Orderly Direction that I need daily. Divine Orderly Good will be there if I am willing to acknowledge it and apply it to my life.

Through trusting a Higher Power, I can learn to trust myself. To hear those Messages and know what is my God's will for me.

When I think of an abrasion on my body, I know that it has to heal inside and out. It has many layers, and often when it scabs over, I think it is okay and yet, if I were to take off the scab, I would recognize raw skin underneath. The same with us, many things have underlying issues that we need to deal with. It is seldom one thing, often compunded interest from something that goes way back, which we only recognize in today.

One day at a time, life doesn't get better, I do.

Something I posted on another site in 2011.

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MajestyJo
08-07-2017, 11:34 PM
There is a hymn that says, "Without Him, I can do nothing." That is so true in my life. Some days I don't do nothing, and I know He is saying, "That is OK."


Elvis Presley Lyrics
"Without Him"

Without Him I could do nothing
Without Him I'd surely fail
Without Him I would be drifting
Like a ship without a sail

Without Him I would be dying
Without Him I'd be enslaved
Without Him life would be worthless
But with Jesus thank God I'm saved

Oh Jesus, oh Jesus
Do you know Him today
Please don't turn Him away
Oh Jesus, my Jesus
Without Him how lost I would be
Without Him how lost I would be.

https://c1.staticflickr.com/9/8173/8038481768_e1b71f2982_z.jpg

MajestyJo
08-10-2017, 04:02 PM
"We Are In This Together "

I did not know what I would find here, but surely it had to he better than the ugly mess that had become my life. What I have found here (and what has found me), is a spiritual connection, a new purpose in life, a safe haven where I may come and be spiritually recharged. From these rooms have come the sponsors who unselfishly gave of their time and shared their experience, strength, and hope, and guided me through the indispensable Twelve Steps of this spiritual path. They did not judge me as I bared my soul to them and stumbled through the highs and lows and self-pity-run riot of the early days of my sobriety. Then I learned to impart these miracle-making principles to others, and so I became a fellow of Alcoholics Anonymous. I learned to love all alcoholics and Alcoholics Anonymous and to desire that AA be forever available to all who need and want it.

---from Stan C. in AA Grapevine, January 2004, pages 12-13

AA Grapevine

When I got to the doors of AA, I felt like I had finally found a place that I could call home, even though I didn't think I qualified. I thought if I told them I was an alcoholic, they would let me stay and I could find out what it was they had, and I could get a little bit of what they had for myself.

I brought the body, and the mind followed. I knew I was an addict, but don't put that alcoholic label on me. In today, I know I didn't have a drinking problem, I had a thinking problem. I used alcohol like I used everything else. It doesn't what you call me, I can't use safely, no matter what substance I pick up.

https://encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTFrHRAoknRXXJ7ay1lAQMii4OKvxvKj fqTSV5YV5uRArtAbmRl

The skunk means respect. How little we respected ourselves. Respect has to be earned. It took a while.

MajestyJo
08-10-2017, 04:03 PM
I know that when I make it to a meeting, I will always feel better afterward, no matter how yucky I felt before I went there. Meetings helpp in more ways than one. You will be surprised what you hear. Sometimes words that are echoing around in your own head.

I know that I will be recharged spiritually.

http://angelwinks.ca/images/generalpod/generalpod1177.jpg

MajestyJo
08-12-2017, 10:14 PM
~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

No one has completed his education who has not learned to live with an insoluble problem.

~ Edmund J. Kiefer ~

Facing, for the first time, a stone wall that we cannot change can be quite a shock. It’s a huge emotional challenge that changes us from boys to men. Some people first meet their insoluble problem in the form of the death of a loved one, others through a child with an incurable handicap, and others by way of a chronic illness or an addiction. Whatever form a man’s stone wall takes, he naturally responds first with a refusal to accept it and a search for a way around it. But when he ultimately learns to accept reality, he changes in a profound way. He has stepped into the world of adults.

We used to feel that our addiction and codependency were burdens, tragedies that we had to carry. But there is a bright side to the dark stories of our past: when we got honest about our powerlessness, we became real men.

Today I accept my powerlessness once again and feel grateful for the wisdom it has taught me.

It is important for me to remember that I am as powerless over my son's addiction as I am over my own. It is only when I surrender that I am empowered to do what I need to do on a daily basis for my recovery.

MajestyJo
08-12-2017, 10:15 PM
~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

Laughter, like a drenching rain, settles the dust, cleans and brightens the world around us, and changes our whole perspective.

~ Jan Pishok ~

Laughter’s power is awesome. Some might say miraculous. We all know the effects of laughter, liven in the midst of frustrating circumstances, nothing seems as bleak or hopeless after being observed through the twinkling eyes of laughter.

How is it that our perspective changes after a moment or two of laughter? Does laughing shake loose the cobwebs that clutch the grim realities? All we know for certain is that nothing appears quite the same after we’ve loosened our hold on life’s dark explanations.

Laughter refreshes us. We can’t change the people we love, we can’t determine outcomes, we can’t control how God works in our lives. But we can laugh. And laughing about our experiences gives us the chance to accept them and make them work to our advantage.

Nothing is quite as serious as I make it today. Lightening up and laughing a little makes every minute easier.

It is hard to laugh when we are caught up in the chaos in our lives. Detaching from it and not taking it on or just decide to take a time out to enjoy life and put trouble on a back burner for a short time, to take time for yourself. I was told by a friend on FB to lighten up. ;)

MajestyJo
08-23-2017, 01:31 AM
Journey to the Heart

Heal Your Resentments

How fast resentments creep in during the course of an ordinary year. How much faster they can creep in during intense times, times of change, times of evolution-- the kind of times we've been experiencing on our journey.

Things shift. Things change. We let go of the old and stumble toward the new. And resentments crop up along the way. People become angry with us for changing, we become angry with them because we believe their experiences have unjustly impacted us.

Resentments are tricky little things, devious little devils of energy that block and damage our souls and hearts. They tell us they're justified. They tell us we need them to protect ourselves. They tell us we should have adopted them a long time ago. They tell us we're not safe if we release them, if we send them packing.

Those are lies, illusions that keep us blocked, stuck, and often quite uncomfortable.

Go deeper into yourself. What do you feel underneath the resentment? Betrayed? Hurt? Ashamed? Embarrassed? Left out? Forgotten? Misunderstood? You're safe now. Go ahead and feel whatever you need to feel. Honor and recognize your gentler, softer side-- those other feelings that make you feel vulnerable, those more tender feelings hiding behind, underneath, or to the side of the resentment.

Feel and release your resentment. Feel the feelings underneath it,too. You'll become clear. The resentment will dissolve. And you'll return to love.

A good recovery reminder, resentments kill, they lead to relapse. To use is to die. We don't pray for others to heal them, we pray to change our thinking, to let go of our anger, and find that peaceful place within, that a resentment can invade.

MajestyJo
08-27-2017, 01:02 PM
Each Day a New Beginning

Acceptance is not submission; it is acknowledgment of the facts of a situation. Then deciding what you're going to do about it. --Kathleen Casey Theisen

Recovery offers us courage to make choices about the events of our lives. Passive compliance with whatever is occurring need no longer dominate our pattern of behavior. Powerlessly watching our lives go by was common for many of us, and our feelings of powerlessness escalated the more idle we were.

Today, action is called for, thoughtful action in response to the situations begging for our attention. Recovery's greatest gift is the courage to take action, to make decisions that will benefit us as well as the people who are close to us. Courage is the byproduct of our spiritual progress, courage to accept what we cannot change, believing that all will be well, courage to change in ourselves what we do have control over.

An exhilaration about life accompanies the taking of action. The spell that idleness casts over us is broken, and subsequent actions are even easier to take. Clearly, making a choice and acting on it is healthful. The program has given us the tools to do both.

Decisions will be called for today. I will be patient with myself, and thoughtful. I will listen closely to the guidance that comes from those around me.

Acceptance is not submission means much the same as my favorite saying in today, "Surrender doesn't mean giving up, it means giving over." Accepting what is, knowing it is subject to change.

MajestyJo
09-07-2017, 08:53 PM
Journey to the Heart

Heal Your Resentments

How fast resentments creep in during the course of an ordinary year. How much faster they can creep in during intense times, times of change, times of evolution-- the kind of times we've been experiencing on our journey.

Things shift. Things change. We let go of the old and stumble toward the new. And resentments crop up along the way. People become angry with us for changing, we become angry with them because we believe their experiences have unjustly impacted us.

Resentments are tricky little things, devious little devils of energy that block and damage our souls and hearts. They tell us they're justified. They tell us we need them to protect ourselves. They tell us we should have adopted them a long time ago. They tell us we're not safe if we release them, if we send them packing.

Those are lies, illusions that keep us blocked, stuck, and often quite uncomfortable.

Go deeper into yourself. What do you feel underneath the resentment? Betrayed? Hurt? Ashamed? Embarrassed? Left out? Forgotten? Misunderstood? You're safe now. Go ahead and feel whatever you need to feel. Honor and recognize your gentler, softer side-- those other feelings that make you feel vulnerable, those more tender feelings hiding behind, underneath, or to the side of the resentment.

Feel and release your resentment. Feel the feelings underneath it,too. You'll become clear. The resentment will dissolve. And you'll return to love.

A good recovery reminder, resentments kill, they lead to relapse. To use is to die. We don't pray for others to heal them, we pray to change our thinking, to let go of our anger, and find that peaceful place within, that a resentment can invade.

http://angelwinks.ca/images/animatedpod/animatedpod1158.gif

MajestyJo
09-10-2017, 12:48 AM
A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

I’ll begin today with prayer — prayer in my heart, prayer in my mind, and words of prayer on my lips. Through prayer, I’ll stay tuned to God today, reaching forward to become that to which I aspire. Prayer will redirect my mind, helping me rise in consciousness to the point where I realize that there’s no separation between God and me. As I let the power of God flow through me, all limitations will fall away. Do I know that nothing can overcome the power of God?

Today I Pray

Today may I offer to my Higher Power a constant prayer, not just a “once-in-the-morning-does-it” kind. May I think of my Higher Power at coffee breaks, lunch, tea time, during a quiet evening — and at all times in between. May my consciousness expand and erase the lines of separation, so that the Power is a part of me and I am a part of the Power.

Today I Will Remember

To live an all-day Prayer.

Like this concept. A prayer to last all day long. Maybe a blanket order, saying to God, "This is what I need, just in case You have forgotten." TeeHee! Doesn't sound like a lot of faith.

It is good to live in concordance to what we pray for, and yet they say, "Be careful what you pray for, you just might get it.

So glad this is a one day at a time program. Progress not perfection. A program of practice, practice, practice.

MajestyJo
09-16-2017, 11:55 PM
September 16

One Day At A Time

REDISCOVERY

“When you come right down to it,

the secret of having it all is loving it all.”

Dr. Joyce Brothers

In dealing with compulsive eating issues, we tend to lose ourselves to the darkness of low self-esteem and self-criticism. We are our own worst enemies and we don't know how to nurture ourselves. We don't like who we have become. We feel like failures to ourselves and to all of those around us.

In working through the program, we learn to surrender and to accept the things we cannot change. We gain wisdom and strength. As we learn to take care of ourselves, we begin to feel good. We become self-aware. We recognize our needs and work aggressively to make sure they are being fulfilled.



We realize that we can choose how to react to the things around us. We accept our true selves, we voice our opinions, and we make changes. We realize that people do accept us the way we are and we don't have to hide anymore. For the first time, we are able to re-discover our true identity.

One day at a time...

I learn something new about myself. I accept myself for who I am as I surrender myself to my Higher Power. I prioritize my needs and all of the responsibilities in my life. I find the courage to change the things I can, and I accept the things I cannot. I look in the mirror and, with each passing day in recovery, I like who I see.

~ Lori

Many times when we are hurting, we reach for other things, for me it was food. My eating disorder was generally ruled by my emotions. How often I felt like I was hitting back. I got so I didn't care about me, and thanks to the program, I was able to turn that around.

MajestyJo
09-26-2017, 12:02 AM
September 19

Daily Reflections

ACCEPTANCE

We admitted we couldn't lick alcohol with our own remaining resources, and so we accepted the further fact that dependence upon a Higher Power (if only our A.A. group) could do this hitherto impossible job. The moment we were able to accept

these facts fully, our release from the alcohol compulsion had begun.

AS BILL SEES IT, p. 109



Freedom came to me only with my acceptance that I could turn my will and my life over to the care of my Higher Power, whom I call God. Serenity seeped into the chaos of my life when I accepted that what I was going through was life, and that God would help me through my difficulties--and much more, as well. Since then He has helped me through all of my difficulties! When I accept situations as they are, not as I wish them to be, then I can begin to grow and have serenity and peace of mind.

Sobriety for me is soundness of mind. Until I have some form of acceptance, I stay stuck in my recovery, the program doesn`t work for me without it. Someone argued with me many years ago about acceptance not in the first 164 pages so it isn`t required to stay sober and I was misleading people. Not sure if the person was right or wrong, I just know for me that I not only need to accept my alcoholism, but I had to accept that I needed a program of recovery.

MajestyJo
10-14-2017, 09:09 PM
Journey To The Heart
October 14
Clear Out the Clutter

Have you ever noticed how easy it is to accumulate possessions and clutter in your home, things you pick up along the way? Have you ever noticed how easy it is to begin accommodating this clutter, getting used to it, thinking of it as just part of your environment?

It can be that way with our emotions,too. No matter how hard we strive to stay clear, we pick up bits of clutter along the way.

It’s so easy to ignore deeply embedded emotions and their impact on our lives. Many of us have undercurrents of old emotional energy that have been with us for so long we don’t see them. We don’t see the anger, the fear, the sadness. We’ve lived with these feelings for so long they have become embedded in us, part of us. When one of these nudges us, we tuck it back in, pack it away, and go on about our lives. But the feelings stays with us until we consciously acknowledge and address it. It affects us and our lives until we heal it.

Find a way to heal those old feelings, perhaps journaling or writing your memoirs. Whatever technique you choose to begin this journey of deep healing, deep cleansing, take the time to become conscious of what you really feel. Observe yourself; listen closely to yourself. Is there an edge to your voice? Do you talk about a particular person or place with a high degree of emotional energy? Learn to become comfortable with the rhythm of allowing these emotions to surface. They aren’t that hard to find. When it’s time to heal them, they’ll present themselves.

Release your fear of facing what’s there. Tap into that deeper part of you. Acknowledge your emotional energy, and heal.

Start cleaning house. Each piece of emotional clutter you clear out will bring you closer to your soul.

This is why I have to work on my emotional sobriety (soundness of mind) daily.

MajestyJo
10-22-2017, 11:37 PM
October 22

One Day At A Time

Scars

“Dwelling on the negative

simply contributes to its power.”

Shirley MacLaine

I’ve lived most of my life filled with bitterness towards people, God and myself. My mind, soul, and body were consumed by hatred, self-pity, pain, hopelessness, and a complete sense of powerlessness. I focused my energy on reviewing my scars. I counted them, checked them, nurtured them, and flaunted them. They were proof of all the wrongs I’d endured. They were my source of energy. They were my identity. They were my badge of sorrow.

As I work my recovery, I am beginning to see everything from a new perspective. Gradually my head is lifted and my eyes are turned away from my once-beloved scars. The more I allow myself to accept that my powerlessness is not a prison of doom, the more I discover that it is my doorway to faith, surrender, and serenity.

My scars are still here. There is no magic potion to remove them. What is magical, however, is that I see them so differently. I find that I have a choice to make every day: I can cherish my scars as proof of the pain I have suffered, or I can be thankful for them as evidence of things I have survived. Scar tissue forms and creates a stronger, thicker skin in its place. I can either pick at it and make it bleed, or I can welcome the lessons and endurance it has built into my life.

One day at a time...

I will choose to see my scars as proof of the difficulties I have survived. I will choose to appreciate them as evidence that God has brought me through suffering and has used all things to strengthen my faith in Him, my hope for tomorrow, and my serenity for today.

~ Lisa


Have a friend who once said to me. I wish I could heal scars, but I can't. I said that is because they run deep, and are often rooted to emotions as well as the physical. The surface may seem small, but what lies underneath the scar can be a lot of pain and suffering, often compounded interest, especially if we tend to internalize things and not bring them out into the moment. We need to bring things out of the darkness into the light in order to heal.

MajestyJo
10-26-2017, 10:49 PM
October 26

One Day At A Time

Paths

“I shall be telling this with a sigh

Somewhere ages and ages hence:

Two roads diverged in a wood and I --

I took the one less traveled by,

And that has made all the difference.”

Robert Frost

As a compulsive overeater, I longed to find a solution to my problems. Like so many of us, I tried all the heavily traveled roads ~ the endless means to lose weight and to alleviate my indulgent eating behaviors. But at the end -- and there was always an end -- of every new "method of weight loss" I returned to walking my old path of destructive compulsive overeating. I always went back to the old eating behaviors as well as the consequences of those behaviors. I had heard of OA but did not know anyone who belonged to its groups. It seemed like the whole world was on the latest fad diet -- diets that I could never continue for more than a few days or weeks.

Since joining The Recovery Group, I now walk a new path and have abandoned the old roads and the diet of the week. I have been on this road nearly a year now, and it is a wonderfully pleasant trek. I indeed believe "I shall be telling this with a sigh, somewhere ages and ages hence." I have found an incredible amount of recovery spiritually, emotionally and physically. I am traveling on “the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference!”

One day at a time...

I will enjoy this road less taken...a path of acceptance and surrender. It is a path of spiritual, emotional and physical recovery!

~ Karen A.

My drug of choice is but a symptom of my disease. The problem is me. A drug is a drug.

MajestyJo
10-29-2017, 10:10 PM
One More Day

October 29

You may talk on all subjects save one, namely, your maladies.
– Ralph Waldo Emerson

Casual conversations have an unspoken rule: never, never tell about our pain, our misery, our difficulties. Ironically, the stars of social gatherings are often the ones who have just suffered an accident or injury. We show interest and concern for new and obvious problems; we often ignore ongoing ones. A leg cast has glamor; a wheelchair has none.

We can understand this. Human nature finds adventure in broken bones or neck braces. It also finds reassurance because these injuries are temporary and the victim will be as good as new in a matter of weeks. Many people can’t identify with the permanence of chronic illness, but we can educate them about our social concerns without provoking pity.

My life becomes more balanced when I enjoy social activities as social — not medical — events.

This reminds me of a saying my mom had. "I am sick in bed with my feet hanging out the window." It certainly doesn't make sense, but does bring a smile. In today, I am sure that she had Fibromyalgia the same as I have, although it was diagnosed back then, over 60 years ago. It doesn't always get recognition in today.

http://angelwinks.ca/images/iq/qcangrywetcat1.jpg

MajestyJo
11-24-2017, 09:58 PM
One More Day

Rest is not a matter of doing absolutely nothing. Rest is Repair. Daniel W. Josselyn

Every once in a while the burdens of our lives get us down. We just can’t be optimistic all the time. It’s so important to know that we can let go of those burdens for a day or two; in fact, we owe it to ourselves.

Too many of us feel guilty if we succumb to our feelings of sadness, disgust, anger, or exhaustion. Why? Having a medical problem doesn’t make us any more or less exempt from the problems which face everybody else. There will be days when there seems to be no reason to get out of bed. That’s okay. We can take a mental health day by relaxing. We can pamper ourselves every once in a while to rejuvenate the physical and emotional strength needed to face our world.

I can simplify my life by giving myself this day for relaxing.

My sponsor called it a holiday. Shut off the phone, don't answer the door, and eat what you like to eat, do a meditation, and do what you like to do, be it a craft, hobbie, or watching your favorite shows on TV.

MajestyJo
11-24-2017, 09:59 PM
Love the thought, "Rest is repair." We often need to take a time out to check on where we are at in our program. Often our program needs tweaking and adjusting in order to grow and change. I can't rest on my laurels. This is a one day at a time program. What I did yesterday, won't keep me sober in today. It gives me hope for a better tomorrow, if I continue to do the do things, in order to recover. Even if something is new and changed in recovery, it doesn't mean it is right for me in today. Life happens, and we change as we travel this recovery road.

http://angelwinks.ca/images/lovepod/lovepod14.gif

MajestyJo
11-27-2017, 11:09 PM
Each Day a New Beginning

November 27

Limited expectations yield only limited results. --Susan Laurson Willig

Schoolchildren perform according to the expectations their teachers have of them. Likewise, what we women achieve depends greatly on what we believe about ourselves, and too many of us have too little belief in ourselves. Perhaps we grew up in a negative household or had a non-supportive marriage. But we contributed, too, in our negative self-assessment. The good news is that it no longer needs to control us.

We can boost our own performance by lifting our own expectations, even in the absence of support from others. It may not be easy, but each of us is capable of changing a negative self-image to a positive one. It takes commitment to the program, a serious relationship with our higher power, and the development of positive, healthy relationships with others.

It's true, we can't control other people in our lives. And we can't absolutely control the outcome of any particular situation. But we can control our own attitudes. Interestingly, when we've begun tagging ourselves competent and capable, instead of inadequate, we find that other people and other situations become more to our liking, too.

I will be fair with myself. I can do what I need to do wherever I am today. Only I can hold myself down.

We limited our God by our narrow outlook on life and our tunnel vision.

MajestyJo
11-30-2017, 06:56 PM
Each Day a New Beginning

November 13


Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional. --Kathleen Casey Theisen

How awesome is our power, personally, to choose our attitudes and our responses to any situation, to every situation. We will feel only how we choose to feel, no matter the circumstance. Happiness is as free an option as sorrow.

Perceiving our challenges as opportunities for positive growth rather than stumbling blocks in our path to success is a choice readily available. What is inevitable--a matter over which we have no choice--is that difficult times, painful experiences will visit us. We can, however, greet them like welcome guests, celebrating their blessings on us and the personal growth they inspire.

No circumstance demands suffering. Every circumstance has a silver lining. In one instance you may choose to feel self-pity; in the next, gladness.

We do not always feel confident about our choices, even when we accept the responsibility for making them. How lucky for us that the program offers a solution! Prayer and meditation, guidance from our higher power, can help us make the right choice every time.

I will relish my freedom to choose, to feel, to act. I and only I can take it away.

Freedom of choice, what a wonderful gift. I can choose to be miserable, sit in my 'stuff' or I can choose to feel grateful for lessons learned and the experiences of recovery. When I turn things over to my HP, He will give me the strength and courage to walk through what ever comes my way. When I am mixed up about my feelings, I can call my sponsor, my spiritual advisor, my clergyman, my fellow fellowship members, and/or family.

http://www.angelwinks.ca/images/specchriscard16.jpg

MajestyJo
12-04-2017, 06:43 PM
Keep It Simple

And to practice these principles in all our affairs. Third part of Step Twelve.

This is a statement about us. We are now people of values. These values reflect our spiritual growth. We know how to help others. We know how to admit our wrongs.

We know how to look at ourselves and change our defects. We know how to live an honest life.

Step Twelve tells us. "Go use these tools for better living. Go be all you can be. Enjoy life and live a life you can be proud of." Step Twelve also tells us about how to have loving relationships. By the time we complete Step Twelve, we make or regain many relationships. The most important one is with our Higher Power. As we grow in the program, we realize all our relationships are spiritual gifts.

Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, I now have one face instead of many masks. Help me be a person who will stand before You with pride, not shame.

Action for the Day: Today, I'll talk with a friend and talk about my new values. I will talk about how much my life has changed.

The person that was 26 years ago is no more. So grateful for the gifts of recovery. When someone comes to mind, I try to make an effort to connect with them. Sometimes, all I can do is say a prayer for them.

http://angelwinks.ca/images/faithpod/faithpod1.jpg

MajestyJo
12-09-2017, 03:09 PM
Walk In Dry Places

Fixing things that aren't broken

Self-acceptance.

At the beginning of our AA sobriety, we were reminded that we were not reformers. Yet we sometimes have a tendency to want to "reform" ourselves or others after we've established sobriety.

This can become a practice of "fixing things that aren't broken". We may not realize it, but many things in our lives and personalities were always all right, all along. In believing that we should be changed, we may be taking on the opinions of someone else. There might be no need for change at all.

We also may be trying to please people who disapproved of us. Perhaps we're trying to obtain the affection of a parent who always rejected us. But if we're already on a spiritual path and are living rightly, there's no need for change. We'd be trying to fix something that isn't broken.

I'll accept myself and others as we are today. We are not out to reform anyone, including ourselves.

Accepting ourselves is a long process. I will never forget the woman who told me, "God doesn't make no junk." Whenever I found myself beating myself up, her words would come to mind.

http://angelwinks.ca/images/thoughtpod/thoughtpod956.jpg

MajestyJo
12-14-2017, 03:45 PM
More Language Of Letting Go

You’re not a survivor anymore

Many years ago, I asked a fellow therapist what the one thing was that hallmarked the unhappy state of being many of us have come to label as codependency.

It’s the Karpman Drama Triangle,” he said. “People rescue someone by doing something they don’t want to do, or it’s not their business to do. Then they get angry and persecute the person. Then they walk away, feeling like a victim. Again.”

A light when on in that moment. Like a gerbil on a wheel, I could see myself spinning around this triangle. I was regularly rescuing somebody, then getting angry, and ultimately feeling victimized by it all.

I was creating the pain and the drama in my life.

Over the years, I stopped rescuing alcoholics. Many of us have gotten off that painful wheel. We know we can’t control another person’s chemical dependency, depression, problems, or life. But we may have stepped off that wheel and gotten ourselves into another more subtle drama spin.

A friend recently cleaned our his entire house– closets, garage, drawers. He had to hire a truck to come and take everything away.

“I can’t believe everything I collected and hung onto,” he said. “Most of it was junk that I didn’t want in the first place. I guess that came from being poor and going without for so long. I convinced myself that if it was free or cheap, I’d better grab it and take it home.”

Many of us were survivors at one time. We either genuinely didn’t have a choice or convinced ourselves we didn’t. So we clung to whoever and whatever came along our path.

You may have survived what you went through, but you’re not a survivor anymore. There is no need to desperately cling to whatever comes along. You’re living now. You’re living fully and freely.

Choose what you want.

God, help me give myself permission to walk a path with heart.

This reminds me of the meditation I had a few years back that said, "Your female side is languishing. My masculine side is my survivor side. It was in the forefront and I was out of balance. I had to pray and ask for an attitude adjustment.

Many times I have had to give myself permission to do something, because it was a recovery need, not something that I was using to hide and detach from reality.

http://angelwinks.ca/iq/qckitten530.jpg

MajestyJo
12-28-2017, 02:32 PM
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This may appear as a joke, yet in fact, it is too close to the truth.

In today, I don't need to call my sponsor that often. When we do connect, we have a good natter.

In early recovery, my sponsor let me go because I was so sick that because of her own health, she felt like she couldn't be there for me. She later took me back under her wing.

Without a sponsor, I don't think I would have stayed sober in early recovery. She was a lifeline. The top of a long list of people who were there for me. I had a strong network of support. The sad thing is that I have detached from a lot of them, for the most part, it is due to my health, and me not getting out to meetings.

At different times in my recovery, I have had an AA sponsor, a co-sponsor, and a spiritual adviser. Because I needed outside help, I had a NA sponsor and an Al-Anon sponsor. As a result of doing service, I also had a service sponsor, who later became an AA sponsor.

*Remember, it's better to look good than to feel good!
*Why save your ass at the cost of losing your face?

I can remember trying to feel good on the outside because I felt so badly in the inside.

A long-timer once said, "No sense in asking you, you are always feeling good." I thought I had done something wrong. I did feel good. Each day was a gift and my sponsor(s) were a part of that goodness.

Grateful for the sponsor I had over the years.

http://www.angelwinks.ca/images/christmas/csnowman13.jpg

MajestyJo
01-04-2018, 10:21 AM
Journey To The Heart

January 4

Go with What You Know

The commercial on the radio sang to me as I drove across the Southern California desert. “Don’t just go with the flow. Go with what you know.”

Sometimes answers come from outside us. The universe is abundant in its supply of guidance for us. It can’t wait to share its signals, teachings, lessons, and words of wisdom. It is eager to give us guidance if we just watch, wait, and listen. Sometimes this guidance comes from people we know, other times from people we barely know. But even when this help comes from those we are closest to and love most, the answer must resonate with that place deep inside us. It must resonate with our core. It must ring true for us.

Listen to those around you. Listen to the guidance of the universe and all the voices it uses to speak to you. But always trust yourself. Trust your inner voice. Trust what you know, because ultimately your path will bring you back to that place. No matter what you do, if it’s not right for you, you will need to return to your center, your place of peace, and figure out the action that is right.

It’s good to go with the flow. But it’s better to go with what you know– what you know to be true for you. Trusting yourself is the ultimate lesson. It’s where all the guidance leads.

Really like this. Before recovery, I couldn't trust that inner voice, it was generally my disease talking and I was at dis-ease because I didn't know. In recovery, I learned to trust my Higher Self. As my sponsor said, "If you are doubting yourself, you are doubting your Higher Power if you have done Step Three, and made a decision to put your life into the Care of your God.

MajestyJo
01-16-2018, 11:13 PM
A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

When we first came to The Program, whether for ourselves or under pressure from others, some of us were all but sickened by the concept of “surrender.” To admit defeat flew in the face of our life-long beliefs. We thought of the immoral rallying cities of Churchill at Dunkirk, of FDR following the attack of Pearl Harbor. And so we secretly vowed at first, that the very idea of surrender was unthinkable. Here I truly come to believe that only through utter defeat am I able to take the first steps toward liberation and strength? Or do I still harbor reservations about the principle of “letting go and letting God…”?

Today I Pray

May I really believe that the complete surrender of my whole being to a Higher Power is the way to serenity. For I can be whole only in Him, who has the power to make me whole. May I do away with of any feelings of wanting to “hold out” and never admit defeat. May I unlearn the old adage which tells me that I must “never give up” and realize that such pridefullness could keep me from recovery.

Today I Will Remember

From Wholly His to Whole

How is that for a punch line. Pray for the willingness to be willing to do what ever it takes to be clean and sober and find sobriety (soundness of mind).

MajestyJo
02-24-2018, 07:03 PM
Today, I will go forward with love and gratitude, even if I don't
feel like it.

When you step into love, you step out of fear. It's impossible
to be in both at the same time. Try it. See for yourself.
-------------------------------------------------------

Today, I will let go of my fears about trusting myself. I am
willing to make decisions, no matter what the outcome may be.

The past does not dictate the future. Be willing to make
mistakes, and open to learning from them.
------------------------------------------------------

Prayer, having faith that my God can overcome my fears.

Meditation, listening for the Good Orderly Direction that I need to live clean and sober.

My God doing for me, what I can't do for myself.

https://cdn.powerofpositivity.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/01/prayer-for-healing1.jpg

MajestyJo
02-24-2018, 07:05 PM
Are you ready to explore how to BEFRIEND YOUR EMOTIONS?

Don Richard Riso and Russ Hudson have identified 9 BASIC FEARS that they believe shape our personalities. (Source: The Wisdom of the Enneagram)

1. Fear of being bad, corrupt, evil or defective
2. Fear of being unworthy of being loved
3. Fear or being worthless or without inherent value
4. Fear of being without identity or personal significance
5. Fear of being useless, incapable or incompetent
6. Fear of being without support or guidance
7. Fear of being deprived or trapped in pain
8. Fear of being harmed or controlled by others
9. Fear of loss of connection, of fragmentation.

EXERCISE: While we may feel each of these fears at one time or another, one or two of them will influence us more strongly than the others. Which of these 9 fears do you know or suspect to be your basic fear(s)? Write down examples or situations in which you experience these fears.

Once we've identified our basic fear (or a fear of anything), we can begin to move through it. It helps to know that fears always arise from A MISUNDERSTANDING OF WHO WE REALLY ARE. Our soul is fearless because it knows that nothing can threaten our true nature.

And so, when we're fearful, we can use our imagination to invite our soul to be present. When the courage, love and compassion of the soul can sit with our frightened personality, the experience of BRINGING THE HIGHER TO THE LOWER TRANSFORMS THE FEARS.

Both the fear and the love must come together for WHOLENESS. Affirming love while denying the fear will only give the unacknowledged fear more power in our subconscious. To resolve the fear, we must bring it consciously into the presence of a higher, more causal power.

"Every man has a coward and hero in his soul." -- Thomas Carlyle


John and Patrice Robson
www.higherawareness.com

My life was full of fear. It was really awesome to see them drop away and have them disappear, become manageable, and overcome by the trust I had in the program. I saw it working in others, and learn to trust that it could work for me too.

I was immobilized by my fears, isolated my soul until I could find a Power greater than myself to help me overcome them.

https://i.ytimg.com/vi/yFzx2F_D_Rs/mqdefault.jpg

MajestyJo
02-24-2018, 07:29 PM
Walk In Dry Places

Unexpected Disappointments____Acceptance.

As life unfolds, we sometimes get unexpected disappointments that seem undeserved -- the car breaks down, a business deal goes sour, or a close friend betrays us. As alcoholics, most of us don't handle such things too well. "Why me, Lord?" we often respond.

Our best approach is simply to view life as a mixture of bitter and sweet, knowing that we've been given real mastery over conditions. We cannot always be sure that a disappointment really is as bad as it seems to be, and sometimes it can become a step toward our good. As one alcoholic phrased it, "some of the worst things that have happened turned out to be the best."

It's good to face the day with optimism, with confidence, and even with some excitement about the opportunities ahead. If we're maintaining sober thinking, everything that happens today will be transformed into gains for tomorrow -- all our tomorrows. We're on a spiritual journey that goes far beyond anything we're doing here and now.

I won't expect to be disappointed today, but I'll know that nothing can really upset or disturb me without my permission.

Like this, it is about accepting what is in the moment, even if I don't like it. If I think of all the worst case scenarios, I attract them to me. What I put out is returned to me. If I think negative, I will get negative in return. If I think positive, then positive will be given to me.

Expectations can be real dampers on our parade. We tend to project them onto others as well as onto ourselves. When we or they don't measure up, we feel less than.

Like it says, we are on a Spiritual journey. We travel it one step at a time. Some days we need all 12.

I needed to learn to live the Traditions too.

http://bestanimations.com/Animals/Birds/Penguins/Penguin-cartoon-animation.gif

MajestyJo
03-02-2018, 11:14 AM
You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning

For all the sadness of closure, there is a new and joyful unfolding in the process of becoming.
—Mary Casey

We must let go of people, places, memories, and move on to new experiences. The doors of the past must be closed before we can enter those that are opening to us today. However, no experience is gone forever. All of our experiences are threaded together, each one contributing to the events that claim our attention now.

Recovery has offered us a chance to be aware of our process of becoming. With each day, each experience, each new understanding, we are advancing along the path of personal growth. Let us remember that each of us has a particular path, like no other. Thus, our experiences are ours alone. We need not envy what comes to someone else.

Life is unfolding for us. The pain of the present may be necessary for the pleasure of tomorrow. We can accept the unfolding. Our inner selves have a goal; experiences of the past must be left in the past; experiences at hand will lead us to our destination today.

I am moving and changing and growing, at the right pace. The process can be trusted. What is right for me will come to me. I will let the joy of becoming warm me.


A good reminder, of that space between something ending and something new beginning, is called the state of being. Either the door hasn't been revealed yet or I haven't complete closed the door on the past and haven't cut off all times to something I need to let go of.

So often the pain we feel is a result of our own making, because we have problems letting go and stepping forward into something new. As I read earlier, I have to take a risk and take the next step forward. My God generally has greater plans than I ever thought possible.

http://angelwinks.ca/images/animatedpod/animatedpod1153.gif

MajestyJo
03-16-2018, 08:35 AM
Keep It Simple

I am not afraid of tomorrow, for I have seen yesterday and I love today.---William Allen White

Big changes are happening to us, but we can trust that changes will bring good things. After all, what have we got to lose? We have lived through the days and years of our addiction. Now, with the help of our Higher Power, the pain of those days has ended. We have no reason to worry.

Yet, recovery won't make our lives perfect. Hard things still happened. But we never have to lose hope again. We never have to feel alone with our problems. What will come next? We don't know the details, but we can be sure the future will be good if we stay on our path of recovery.

Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, I know life holds many new things for me. Help me and protect me as I live in Your care today.

Action for the Day: Today, I'll trust that each day of my life will bring me good. I will share this idea with one friend.

What a blessed assurance.

I am not afraid of tomorrow, for I have seen yesterday and I love today! William Allen White

https://www.brainyquote.com/photos_tr/en/l/lyndonbjohnson/103549/lyndonbjohnson1.jpg

MajestyJo
04-11-2018, 09:52 PM
Thought for the Day

Wednesday, APRIL 11

From the book: Today's Gift

Listen to your feelings. They tell you when you need to take care of yourself, like finding a friend if you feel lonely, crying if you feel sad, singing and smiling if you feel happy, and acting frisky if you feel good.

—Pat Palmer

When we get too much of anything - too much fun or too much work - we may feel really crummy when it's over.

One way to listen to our crummy feelings is to say, "Here comes the letdown after all that fun." We can imagine a spaceship falling to earth, floating on the ocean. Coming down to earth is as much a part of the adventure as the countdown and blastoff.

A letdown for us means we need to let our bodies and minds rest, just like the spaceship, bobbing around without any special direction. We need to take it easy, do nothing, put off making plans.

Then we can ask God to help us let go of the crummy feelings that come along with a letdown. We can ask the spirit within us to guide us through this time of change. Then we will let down and let go.

What are some things I can do to take it easy the next time I feel down?

Some times we don't like our feelings and tend to stuff them with food or have another cigarette. Just because we have a feeling doesn't mean we have to act on it either. Often it is just acknowledging the feeling will help you to let go.

MajestyJo
04-19-2018, 02:03 AM
~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

If the only prayer you say in your life is “thank you,” that would suffice.

~ Meister Eckhart ~

Sincere gratitude is the only attitude that always lifts our spirits. Being grateful for the good things in life can pick us up on days when we seem to be speeding downhill.

Gratitude restores and heals because it lets us stand outside our own small circle of worry to view the bigger picture. It puts us in touch with our Higher Power and the wide-angle view of life. In the light of eternity, how important is our problem of the moment?

Finding something to be grateful for and saying “thank you” gives us hope and a better understanding of our blessings and resources. Some days we may find little to be grateful for, so we start with small things. We start with the ability to get up in the morning and go to bed at night, flowers, sunsets, and the scent of the earth. If we are willing, we will always find an abundance of things to be grateful for.

Today let me cultivate an attitude of gratitude and hope for my life.

Have been slack in sharing my gratitude. I have allowed everything to come first and have no energy left to think let alone post something. This is what 7 hours of sleep has done to me

MajestyJo
04-19-2018, 02:38 AM
Journey to the Heart

Take the Pressure Off

Sometimes we need a little pressure to get moving, but sometimes we put too much pressure on ourselves. I must do this, we think, and I must do it better and faster. We begin to believe that only by worry and fear and pressuring ourselves can we got the job done– whether the job is spiritual growth, making a particular decision, or accomplishing a task.

That kind of pressure doesn’t get the job done any better or faster. It simply makes you tense and fearful, and stops the creative juices. Too much pressure can take you out of the present moment. It can inhibit the life force, the flow of life within you. That kind of pressure can make so much noise in your mind that you can’t hear your heart.

We have responsibilities. We have time frames and commitments to others. And there are times when we need to get the job done. But the most pressing job can be done best when we’re relaxed. The most urgent decision can be made most clearly when we’re at peace. It doesn’t help to force ourselves to go faster, be somewhere else, or be someone we’re not. There are few things we need to do that can be enhanced by becoming tense, fearful, and worried. The more pressing the situation, the more pressing the need to be present for ourselves, and be present for each moment.

Let off some steam. Release your emotions. Clear the pathway to the heart. The answer will come. The job will get done.

Give yourself some relief. Take the pressure off.


We are not in a race. There is nothing that says once we start we have to finish this day, week, month, or even a year. I heard that some people wait that long to share Step 5 but I don't advice anyone to carry around all that 'stuff' for that long. A burden shared is a burden lightened.

I was also told that once to finish Step 3, you should immediately do a Step Four.

No one did a number on us more than we harmed ourselves. We didn't get this way over night so we can't expect to heal overnight.

Give yourself a break. As a long timer said, "I never heard that hockey took us anywhere. Not sure of his exact wording, he replaced our God with our hockey,Darth Vader, and/or football."

A good book, a walk in nature, and bubble bath, all while listening to music and then we might get in the mood to do a little step work or go to a meeting.

MajestyJo
04-19-2018, 02:50 AM
The Language of Letting Go

Balance

Seek balance.

Balance emotions with reason.

Combine detachment with doing our part.

Balance giving with receiving.

Alternate work with play, business with personal activities.

Balance tending to our spiritual needs with tending to our other needs.

Juggle responsibilities to others with responsibilities to ourselves.

Balance caring about others with caring about ourselves.

Whenever possible, let’s be good to others, but be good to ourselves too.

Some of us have to make up for lost time.

Today, I will strive for balance.

This is something a struggle with. I think a lot of it is in my nature, all or nothing at all. I am an Aires. And as I like to say, "The left foot moves forward and the right foot doesn't know it is suppose to follow." Act/react something I had trouble with and God and I are working on it one day at a time.

Right now, my balance is off and it is causing my falls. I can't catch myself, I am powerless, so I need to build up my muscle tone. There is always a solution if you know where to find it. If you don't know, you have to do what I did, reach out for help,

MajestyJo
04-19-2018, 03:01 AM
You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.

After Burn

How could I do it? How could I say it? Even though I meant it, I still feel ashamed, guilty, and afraid.

This is common reaction to new, exciting recovery behaviors. Anything to do with owning our power and taking care of ourselves can trigger feelings of shame, guilt, and fear.

We do not have to allow these feelings to control us. They're a backlash. They're after burn. Let them burn out.

When we start confronting and attacking feelings and messages, we will experience some after burn. The after burn is what we allowed to control us all our life - shame and guilt.

Many of us grew up with shame-based messages that it wasn't okay to take care of ourselves, be honest, be direct, and own our power with people. Many of us grew up with messages that it wasn't okay to be who we were and resolve problems in relationships. Many of us grew up with the message that what we want and need isn't okay.

Let it all burn off. We don't have to take after burn so seriously. We don't let the after burn convince us that we are wrong and don't have a right to take care of ourselves and set boundaries.

Do we really have the right to take care of ourselves? Do we really have the right to set boundaries? Do we really have the right to be direct and say what we need to say?

You bet we do.

Today, I will let any after burn which sets in after I practice a new recovery behavior, burn off. I will not take it so seriously. God, help me let go of my shame and needless fears about what will happen to me if I really start caring for and loving myself.

I am good enough...just the way I am. --Ruth Fishel

Never heard it called after burn before. That is what shame, guilt, fear can do it's number on us until we can let them go, recognize them for what they are, at that takes the power out of them. Let go and Let God is a good slogan to get rid of that burn and not leave a nasty after taste.

For many years I didn't think I was worthy of recovery. As I have shared before, my counselor when I was 6 years sober (I went for outside help), asked my why I hadn't asked for forgiveness of myself. I told her, "I never thought to ask," I was one of the sick ones. I stayed sick because of my denial.

I went to AA for my denial, I went to NA for identification, and I went to Al-Anon to find myself.

MajestyJo
04-19-2018, 03:10 AM
Never heard it called after burn before. That is what shame, guilt, fear can do it's number on us until we can let them go, recognize them for what they are, at that takes the power out of them. Let go and Let God is a good slogan to get rid of that burn and not leave a nasty after taste.

For many years I didn't think I was worthy of recovery. As I have shared before, my counselor when I was 6 years sober (I went for outside help), asked my why I hadn't asked for forgiveness of myself. I told her, "I never thought to ask," I was one of the sick ones. I stayed sick because of my denial.

I went to AA for my denial, I went to NA for identification, and I went to Al-Anon to find myself.

My dad said I was more contrary than stubborn. I would argue for argument sake. i think there was a little bit of stubbornness if I look for it. What I did find out was that I didn't always have to ask for each specific time I was stubborn, I just have to ask that my stubbornness be removed. By acknowledging it, it takes away it's power.

Again it is about acceptance, I don't have to like it to accept it; but I do have to accept it if I want to grow and change. Without the acceptance, I stay stuck.

MajestyJo
05-19-2018, 09:23 PM
~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

INTELLECTUALIZING

Don’t intellectualize, utilize.

~ Anonymous ~

Many times we waste our minds by using them too much. A mind out of control can waste a life. Our mind can tell us we are better or less than another. It can tell us we need things we don’t, and that we should fear situations we needn’t. The power of the mind to intellectualize a life into a mess is amazing.

Our Program should be utilized, not intellectualized. We do not need to waste time debating points about the Program. We will not resolve with other intellectuals whether or not alcoholism and drug addiction are physical diseases or bad habits. The point, for us addicts, is that we will waste our life, die or go insane if we do not stay in recovery. All we have to do is look around a meeting room to see whether or not it works.

The Steps tell me HOW the Program works. The Traditions tell me why it works. My sponsor and fellow members show me THAT it works.

My co-sponsor told me, 'Stop it. If you are still intellectualizing stop it, quit trying to figure things out. Just do, don't try to figure out why or how, just do it. The program has worked for others for many years. have faith and trust the program will work for you.

http://www.angelwinks.ca/images/justcuz10.jpg

MajestyJo
05-23-2018, 08:31 PM
You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.

Perfection

Many of us picked on ourselves unmercifully before recovery. We may also have a tendency too pick on ourselves after we begin recovery.

If I was really recovering, I wouldn't be doing that again . . .. I should be further along than I am. These are statements that we indulge in when were feeling shame. We don't need to treat ourselves that way. There is no benefit.

Remember, shame blocks us. But self-love and acceptance enable us to grow and change. If we truly have done something we feel guilty about, we can correct it with an amend and an attitude of self-acceptance and love.

Even if we slip back to our old, codependent ways of thinking, feeling, and behaving, we do not need to be ashamed. We all regress from time to time. That's how we learn and grow. Relapse, or recycling, is an important and necessary part of recovery. And the way out of recycling is not by shaming ourselves. That leads us deeper into codependency.

Much pain comes from trying to be perfect. Perfection is impossible unless we think of it in a new way: Perfection is being who and where we are today; its accepting and loving ourselves just as we are. We are each right where we need to be in our recovery.

Today, I will love and accept myself for who I am and where I am in my recovery process. I am right where I need to be to get to where Im going tomorrow.

Today my trust in the overall and the long run is deep and is growing. When events and people do not act as I would like them to act, I reach deeper inside for my faith and let it comfort me. --Ruth Fishel

This is me. My old friend from New Zealand told me many years ago, Ms Perfection is part of your disease. Having things perfect is not the spiritual aim in recovery. We aim toward it trying to pput aside old behaviors and ways of thinking.

Progress, not perfection.

MajestyJo
06-19-2018, 10:55 PM
Post Options Post by majestyjo on 17 minutes ago
Journey To The Heart

Your Heart Will Guide You Through

If you feel confused, alone, unsure of what to do next, go back to a place you can trust– your heart. In matters of work, money, love, play, go back to your heart.

The issues that arise in your life can be dealt with from the heart. You will be guided through gently, safely, with love and truth, along the path that’s best for you. Are you feeling upset? Do you wonder why things aren’t working out? Are you unsure of the map, uncertain of the next step, wondering how to untangle the mess of the past?

The answer isn’t in your head, it’s in your heart. It’s not outside of you, although sometimes we receive guidance from others. The answer you’re seeking, the guidance you’re looking for needs to feel right to you. It needs to resonate with your heart. Your heart is the center, the balance point for your emotions, your intellect, and your soul. Your heart is safe.

Go back to your heart. It will always lead you home.


They say that the longest journey we will make in recovery is from our head to our heart. For me, back to basics is going back to when I found a program for me and look at what I did then and what am I doing now. Have I left something behind that got me to where i am in today. Do I need to reinstate it.

Have I lost my heart. Am I back in my head trying to intellectualize and figure things out.

MajestyJo
06-29-2018, 11:00 PM
You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.

One receives only that which is given. The game of life is a game of boomerangs. Our thoughts, deeds and words, return to us sooner or later, with astounding accuracy. --Florence Scovel Shin

Each of us can attest to the truth of this passage. During the difficult times, however, it is not uppermost in our minds that "what goes around, comes around." It feels all too easy to be justifiably resentful or to gossip, or to ignore another's presence. And the repercussions are seldom immediate. They will come, though.

Goodness is likewise repaid. Giving love, attention, respect to the individuals who share our lives and to the people who cross our paths by chance, will smooth our own passage day by day. The effects of our goodness will often be felt quickly. A smile elicits a smile. Kind thoughts bless us as well as the receiver. Life events do come full circle.

With a bit of effort, I can smile at someone today, even though I'm frowning inside. Both will be better for it.

A smile is always brighter when it comes back at you. When I deposit in my smile bank, I receive dividends. That is what makes it spiritual.

http://www.angelwinks.ca/images/smilecards/smilecards13s.gif

MajestyJo
08-04-2018, 09:20 PM
Journey To The Heart

Make a Fresh Start

Sometimes we need to start over– in work, in love, in our place of residence, in creating our lives. Sometimes we have to start over again when we don’t want to, didn’t plan on it, and don’t think it’s fair.

We may end a relationship, move, start a new job, start a new career, or begin an entirely different part of our lives, a part so different we don’t recognize it as being connected to the earlier ones. It’s new. We’re new. Life is new. We’re starting over again.

Sometimes it feels like we’re starting from scratch. While we may feel a sense of excitement about this new beginning, we may also harbor a sense of dread. Not again. Not one more time. I can’t. I don’t want to. That reaction is understandable. We become tired, frightened. We feel uncertain.

Honor all your feelings, all your emotions. Remember all your lessons.Clear the way to the heart. Then make a decision.

It’s time for a fresh start.

Things that were important, become redundant. Things we could not live without, just lost their value. The was we looked at things had changed and things were no more.

This reminds me of geographical cures. Where ever I go, I take me with me. Let it begin with me.

MajestyJo
08-08-2018, 02:37 PM
Thought for the Day

Wednesday, AUGUST 8

From the book: Touchstones
I got the blues thinking of the future, so I left off and made some marmalade. It's amazing how it cheers one up to 'shred oranges and scrub the floor.

—D. H. Lawrence


Focusing on pain or having difficulties can put us in a rut, and we neglect the other things in our lives. A simple task like making marmalade can be a brief vacation. We change our thought patterns when we change activities. The simple action of doing something pleasant might inject a new feeling into our outlook. Sharing a problem with a friend may be all we need to see it more clearly or let it go. Moving from busy physical activity to a few moments of quiet contemplation creates an inner balance. A problem that seems overwhelming at night may be met with new insight and new energy after a night's rest.

We don't have to continue feeling like victims of circumstance or remain stuck with a nagging problem. Just like changing the subject of a conversation, we can change the subject of our attention for a time. When we do, we regain our sense of hope and change our responses.

Today, I will give myself a break when I become caught or obsessed with a problem.

Osho says that doing dishes is a form of meditation. He also says that housework is too. I am yet to agree with him, I let my son do them.

http://angelwinks.ca/images/generalpod/generalpod1181.jpg

MajestyJo
08-09-2018, 10:58 PM
more language of letting go

You're being protected

t's easy to be thankful for answered prayers, easy to be joyfully grateful when the universe gives us exactly what we want. What's not so easy is to remember to be grateful when we don't get what we want.

John wanted an executive position in the company he worked for. He worked hard for the promotion. He prayed daily for his promotion, while giving a hundred percent of his energy and dedication to the position that he was in. But when the time came, he was passed over for his dream job. He left the company shortly after that. Today, he runs his own company with more responsibility, success, and joy than he could have ever hoped for at his old firm.

Susan, a recovering addict, wanted to date Sam more than anything. They got along great those times they ran into each other at work. He was charming, handsome, and sober, she thought. For months she tried to arrange a date with him, prayed that God would bring him into her life. But things never seemed to work out. She didn't know why. He seemed so interested in her. She was positive that the relationship was divinely ordained. She was stunned when she arrived at work one morning to find that Sam had died the night before of a drug overdose. He had been using drugs and lying about it the whole time.

Sometimes we get what we ask for. Sometimes we don't. God says, "No." Be grateful-- force gratitude; fake it if you must-- when God answers your furtive prayers by saying no.

Take the rejections with a smile. Let God's "no's" move you happily down the road. Maybe you're not being punished, after all. Maybe God's protecting you from yourself.

God, thank you for not always giving me what I think is best.

I was told that God answers prayer 3 ways. "Yes, No, and You got to be kidding."

When we trust our God, we learn to trust ourselves. How many times I heard a gentle whisper and discounted it only to find it came from my God. The Good Orderly Direction is there if I am open to receive and through it, I learn to trust myself.

MajestyJo
12-23-2018, 12:18 PM
The Twelve Rewards of the Twelve Step Program

Ann C. wrote this "a number of years before"
the 1985 Internation Convention in Montreal, Canada
where she set it to tape at the Oldtimers Meeting.

She wrote it to show the contrast that can take place
in any of our lives if we will try to follow the AA principles.

We can all have Hope, instead of desperation;

Faith, instead of despair;

Courage, instead of fear;

Peace of Mind, instead of confusion;

Self-respect, instead of self-contempt;

Self-confidence, instead of helplessness;

The respect of others, instead of their pity and contempt;

A clean conscience, instead of a sense of guilt;

Real friendships, instead of loneliness;

A clean pattern of life, instead of a purposeless existence;

the love and understanding of our families, instead of their doubts and fears;

and the freedom of a happy life, instead of the bondage of an alcoholic obsession.

All this and more through AA, are we grateful enough?
Gratitude will continue the miracle of your sobriety, I found that out.

as written by Ann C. of Niles, Ohio - sober April 1, 1948
Found this on another site, not sure if it is posted here or not.

It is always good to remember to be grateful for the freedom of sobriety, especially at this time of the season.

MajestyJo
12-30-2018, 11:54 PM
As Bill Sees It

Move Ahead, p. 105

To spend too much time on any one alcoholic is to deny some other an opportunity to live and be happy. One of our Fellowship failed entirely with his first half-dozen prospects. He often says that if he had continued to work on them, he might have deprived many others, who have since recovered, of their chance.

<< << << >> >> >>

"Our chief responsibility to the newcomer is an adequate presentation of the program. If he does nothing or argues, we do nothing but maintain our own sobriety. If he starts to move ahead, even a little, with an open mind, we then break our necks to help in every way we can."

1. Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 96
2. Letter, 1942

How ironic, this was written the year I was born.

Don't pick up, go to meetings, get a home group, get a sponsor {get a temporary sponsor if you can't find someone you can trust or identify with or doesn't have anything in common with you), work the Steps and the Traditions (you need to live long enough to work the Steps, they are the program).

https://media.giphy.com/media/GEqnkKlKsrxxm/giphy.gif

MajestyJo
01-11-2019, 11:58 PM
Just had a thought. Love is not having to say you are sorry. An old advertising saying that I can apply my program to. I need to change my thoughts and actions, so I no longer have to apologize for them, because I no longer do them.

A good picture of what Step 9 is all about. We know right from wrong for our recovery, it is about putting it into practice that can be difficult. Practice these principles in all our affairs. I no longer have to say, "Sorry I wasn't honest with you, Sorry I took that, I should have asked first, Sorry I couldn't be here, I had to go someone where else that day (don't tell them it was to the picture show).

So grateful that this program is one day at a time and I get to practice my program daily. Some days, I need to practice all 12 Steps to the best of my ability. I might have worked them, but there is no reason why I can't try to apply them to my life when I become aware of them.

https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSeo_LJrJlSc75cKqSrMQl35Sna0-TkRRBO61t79S2PtBwKY8c_

MajestyJo
01-30-2019, 06:52 PM
You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning

We're only as sick as the secrets we keep.
—Sue Atchley Ebaugh

Harboring parts of our inner selves, fearing what others would think if they knew, creates the barriers that keep us separate, feeling different, certain of our inadequacies.

Secrets are burdens, and they weigh heavily on us, so heavily. Carrying secrets makes impossible the attainment of serenity - that which we strive for daily. Abstinence alone is not enough. It must come first, but it's not enough by itself. It can't guarantee that we'll find the serenity we seek.

This program of recovery offers self-assurance, happiness, spiritual well-being, but there's work to be done. Many steps to be taken. And one of these is total self-disclosure. It's risky, it's humbling, and it's necessary.

When we tell others who we really are, it opens the door for them to share likewise. And when they do, we become bonded. We accept their imperfections and love them for them. And they love us for ours. Our struggles to be perfect, our self-denigration because we aren't, only exaggerates even more the secrets that keep us sick.

Our tarnished selves are lovable; secrets are great equalizers when shared. We need to feel our oneness, our sameness with other women.

Opportunities to share my secrets will present themselves today. I will be courageous.

For the most part, the reading says it all. It sure mirrored what I thought in early recovery.

My sponsor use to say, a burden shared is a burden lessoned. If you share it with one person, you only have to take half of it home. If you share it with ten people, you only have to take 1/10th of it home.

Many times I have shared a portion of my story only to have someone say, I am so glad you shared that I thought I was the only one. I needed that identification. For so long I compared and felt like I didn't fit in.

I was very lost, fragmented and bankrupt on all levels when I came into recovery. I found myself reflected in the women in my home group and in the men and women in other groups.

As I heard a man share one time, I had trouble getting in touch with my feelings until I heard a woman share. It is much easier for us. For men, it isn't considered the macho thing. By sharing, they too learn to identify. We all have a masculine and feminine side. I once got a medication card that told me that me feminine side was languishing. I was acting out in my survivor mode. Recovery for me is about balance.

MajestyJo
02-05-2019, 12:07 AM
Walk In Dry Places

Garbage in, Garbage Out

Releasing the Past

One thing we don't need in our lives is garbage from the past. Yet many of us say that old thoughts and bitter memories often sneak devilishly back to spoil what should have been a pleasant day. Why do we let garbage from the past befoul our lives a second time?

Computer programmers use a certain expression when their systems turn up errors: "GARBAGE IN, GARBAGE OUT." If you feed erroneous, useless information into a computer, that's what you get back.

We seem to have built-in computers that work the same way. If we waste time and energy talking about past injustices or old mistakes, we are unwittingly calling them back into our lives. We are bringing back garbage that should have been discarded permanently to make room for better things.

There is no benefit in bringing back old garbage. We can't change the past. We can't change our mistakes by brooding about them, and we can't obtain justice by remembering how badly we were treated or by plotting revenge. When we bring back garbage, we allow it to occupy space that should be devoted to constructive and positive things.

If we don't want garbage in our lives, let's not put it there by bringing up matters that should have been released, forgiven, and forgotten.

I will keep my mind on the present, knowing that a positive attitude will help me make the best of the opportunities that come to me.


This may be written for an alcoholic and/or an addict, but as an ACoA qualifier, there was a lot of garbage that I had to let go of. Let go of the darkness, so there was room for the light. Those old tapes were killers and had to be overhauled and replaced.

We often collect garbage and not aware of doing so. We attract things when we are down that don't serve us in today. We take on things that are good for us in the moment, but soon becomes redundant.

We take on things that are not ours to take on. Sometimes it is projected onto us and it isn't ours to take on, but often it is the caretaker in us, taking on too much.

Remember garbage collectors come once a week and we need to remember to put out the garbage.

https://media1.tenor.com/images/c96d6218c538c9c887ca232f6c9f9c6e/tenor.gif?itemid=8748733

MajestyJo
02-22-2019, 11:48 PM
Just for today: I will view the world and my life through the clean spiritual lenses of my program.

pg. 297

- Just For Today
This reminds me of my rose coloured glasses I wore before recovery. Denial sure can give you tunnel and blurred vision.

Love the concept of a spiritual lens. It brings me to a quote I heard many years ago, "Though I see through a glass darkly..." It reminds me to bring things out of the darkness and into the light so I can have an honest appraisal of them.

When I take off the blinders, I can see God in all things.
Originally posted in 2014. So glad the message doesn't grow old.

https://i.pinimg.com/originals/87/ac/13/87ac13963bc1bd3beded3609de8b781d.gif

MajestyJo
03-08-2019, 10:33 PM
If we think of abstinence as something we have to acquire through great effort, we will be afraid that we will fail. We will think of weeks and months and years stretching ahead of us and say, "I'll never make it."

Food For Thought

When I saw this, I was reminded of the words of my sponsor. "We don't do this forever, we do it just for today."

I was told not to think of it being forever, all I had to do was get up each day, ask for help, take my Higher Power with me, Step Ten and check in with Him through the day, go to a meeting, call my sponsor when I was having difficulty, and give thanks at night.

It is just for this 24 hours. It is a 24 hour a day program, not a 2-4 hour a day program. A day can start any time. All I have to do is stop, say the Serenity Prayer, and ask "For this 24 hours, please give me what I need to stay clean and sober." Sobriety means 'Soundness of Mind." My mind is not sound when I binge or when I deprive myself of the food and nurturing that it needs.

I no longer abuse myself by putting into my body what is not healthy. I don't do too well on this, because there have been some comfort foods that I still allow myself to indulge in. God and I are still working on it.

March 7, 2011

The difference in today, is that I lost that desire to not put anything but healthy foods into my body. Have found myself back in the willfullness, knowing better, but not caring that I am diabetic. Tonight I passed on some advice that I need to take for myself. I have to pray for the willingness to be willing to think healthy and what is good for me.

Tonight I bough two butter tarts before my group and I gave them away. After the group, I bought two butter tarts to replace them. :(

MajestyJo
11-13-2019, 05:43 PM
Saw this title on a reading on another site. Thought it was a very powerful statement.

My God gives me what I need when I need it. Some days I need more than one step.

When I think of Light, I think of how each being on this earth - large and small gets the energy they need from the tiniest snail to the largest animal, the smalled seedling to the tallest tree.

My God gives me what I need, even some of my wants and desires.

I just have to read the title and I feel better.

Feel connected with your Higher Power.

https://bodyandsoulnourishmentblog.files.wordpress.com/2017/09/mana.jpg?w=640

MajestyJo
12-02-2019, 05:33 PM
If carrots would do what alcohol did for me, I'd be a carrotolic.

- Al A.

From Alkiespeaks

Love this, It is one of my saying revised a little, "I am a bridgeaholic." Love playing bridge. Maybe I should say I am a gameaholic, but then I only play about 3 on the computer, and although bridge is a priority, I do like cribbage, scrabble, and Yahtzee.

I was sharing with my friend last night and said, "If I could drink safely, I would drink." Everyone once in a while, the old tape, "If you can't beat them join them" comes to mind and I tell myself I really didn't have a problem. I would tell myself that I could have one drink, many times only one or two. What I put to the back of my mind was the fact that I had some heavy duty drugs in my body and didn't really need the booze.

I was told that anything that I put between my and my God, became my new God, because I lost connection to mine.

If carrots would do what alcohol did for me, I'd be a carrotolic.

- Al A.

From Alkiespeaks

Love this, It is one of my saying revised a little, "I am a bridgeaholic." Love playing bridge. Maybe I should say I am a gameaholic, but then I only play about 3 on the computer, and although bridge is a priority, I do like cribbage, scrabble, and Yahtzee.

I was sharing with my friend last night and said, "If I could drink safely, I would drink." Everyone once in a while, the old tape, "If you can't beat them join them" comes to mind and I tell myself I really didn't have a problem. I would tell myself that I could have one drink, many times only one or two. What I put to the back of my mind was the fact that I had some heavy duty drugs in my body and didn't really need the booze.

I was told that anything that I put between my and my God, became my new God, because I lost connection to mine.

Love the quote, I have been a busy/workkaholic and a bridgeaholic, and a computerholic, why not a carrotolic. They have been a long time favourite vegetable of mine.

Anything that I become obsessive/compulsive about, all leads to the same soul sickness.

MajestyJo
12-02-2019, 05:36 PM
My drug of choice in today is cottage roll. It is on sale for $2.99 regularly $8.99.k hi I am thinking two.

Just had 1/2 sandwich, couldn't get more down ???? My God does answer prayer.