NA JUST FOR TODAY-SEPTEMBER 2014

[MajestyJo]

September 01, 2014

Real values

Page 255

"We become able to make wise and loving decisions based on principles and ideals that have real value in our lives."

Basic Text p.101

Addiction gave us a certain set of values, principles we applied in our lives. "You pushed me" one of those values told us, "so I pushed back, hard." "It's mine" was another value generated by our disease. "Well, okay, maybe it wasn't mine to start with, but I liked it, so I made it mine' Those values were hardly values at all-more like rationalizations-and they certainly didn't help us make wise and loving decisions. In fact, they served primarily to dig us deeper and deeper into the grave we'd already dug for ourselves.

The Twelve Steps give us a strong dose of real values, the kind that help us live in harmony with ourselves and those around us. We place our faith not in ourselves, our families, or our communities, but in a Higher Power-and in doing so, we grow secure enough to be able to trust our communities, our families, and even ourselves. We learn to be honest, no matter what-and we learn to refrain from doing things we might want to hide. We learn to accept responsibility for our actions. "It's mine" is replaced with a spirit of selflessness. These are the kind of values that help us become a responsible, productive part of the life around us. Rather than digging us deeper into a grave, these values restore us to the world of the living.

Just for Today: I am grateful for the values I've developed. I am thankful for the ability they give me to make wise, loving decisions as a responsible, productive member of my community.


We seldom hear about the principles behind the Steps and the Traditions. They are the real value of the program.

http://magshare.net/narchive/NArchive/Old_Documents/When-It-Works-12-Basics.pdf

[MajestyJo]

September 02, 2014

Higher Powered

Page 256

"Daily practice of our Twelve Step program enables us to change from what we were to people guided by a Higher Power."

Basic Text p.83

Who have we been, and who have we become? There are a couple of ways to answer this question. One is very simple:

We came to Narcotics Anonymous as addicts, our addiction killing us. In NA, we've been freed from our obsession with drugs and our compulsion to use. And our lives have changed.

But that's only the tip of the iceberg. Who have we really been? In the past, we were people without power or direction. We felt like we had no purpose, no reason for living. Our lives didn't make any more sense to us than they did to our families, our friends, or our neighbors.

Who are we really becoming? Today, we are not merely clean addicts, but people with a sense of direction, a purpose, and a Power greater than ourselves. Through daily practice of the Twelve Steps, we've begun to understand how our addiction warped our feelings, motivations, and behavior. Gradually, the destructive force of our disease has been replaced by the life-giving force of our Higher Power.

Recovery means more than cleaning up-it means powering up. We have done more than shed some bad habits; we are becoming new people, guided by a Higher Power.

Just for Today: The guidance I need to become a new person is ready at hand. Today, I will draw further away from my old and closer to my Higher Power.

When I surrender to my Higher Power, I am empowered to do what I need to do just for today, to stay clean and sober.

[MajestyJo]

September 03, 2014

Humility expressed by anonymity

Page 257

"Humility is a by-product that allows us to grow and develop in an atmosphere of freedom and removes the fear of becoming known by our employers, families, or friends as addicts. "

Basic Text p.72-23

Many of us may not have understood the idea that "anonymity is the spiritual foundation of all our traditions." We wondered how this could be. What does anonymity have to do with our spiritual life?

The answer is, plenty! By guarding and cherishing our anonymity, we earn spiritual rewards beyond comprehension. There is great virtue in doing something nice for someone and not telling anyone about it. By the same token, resisting the impulse to proudly announce our membership in NA to the world-in effect, asking everyone to acknowledge how wonderful we are-makes us value our recovery all the more.

Recovery is a gift that we've received from a Power greater than ourselves. Boasting about our recovery, as if it were our own doing, leads to prideful feelings and grandiosity. But keeping our anonymity leads to humility and feelings of gratitude. Recovery is its own reward; public acclaim can't make it any more valuable than it already is.

Just for Today: Recovery is its own reward; I don't need to have mine approved of publicly. I will maintain and cherish my anonymity.

Can understand the importance of anonymity. and practice it to the best of my ability. I have had mine broken so many times inside and outside the rooms of recovery,it is a good thing it doesn't matter to me. I was known for a 50 mile radius when I was using, so why should I care who knows I am clean and sober?

When you stand on the main street of your village with a friend who is not in recovery and you are not either, and the person says, "So, you are JoAnne Kitchen," it is hard to beat. I still remember the feeling of horror today. It ended up she had advertising in the Autumn Leaf Magazine that I was assistant editor for and wrote a couple columns for, plus proof read everybody's editorials, including the presidents and wrote the column for a couple of the chair people with the information they gave me. You just never know when you are the preacher's son's daughter who married the village drunk's son. ;)

In today, I don`t take the credit or the blame.

[MajestyJo]

September 04, 2014

Cluttered spirits

Page 258

"We try to remember that when we make amends we are doing it for ourselves. "

Basic Text p.40

As long as we still owe amends, our spirits are cluttered with things we don't need. We're carrying the extra load of an apology owed, a resentment held, or unexpressed remorse. It's like having a messy house. We could leave so we don't have to see the mess, or maybe just step over the piles of debris and pretend they aren't there. But ignoring the disorder won't make it disappear. In the end, the dirty dishes, the crumb-filled carpet, and the overflowing wastebaskets are still there, waiting to be cleaned up.

A cluttered spirit is just as hard to live with as a messy home. We always seem to be tripping over yesterday's leavings. Every time we turn around and try to go somewhere, there is something blocking our path. The more we neglect our responsibility to make amends, the more cluttered our spirits become. And we can't even hire someone to clean up. We have to do the work ourselves.

We gain a deep sense of satisfaction from making our own amends. Just as we would feel after we've cleaned our homes and have time to enjoy a bit of sunshine through sparkling windows, so will our spirits rejoice at our freedom to truly enjoy our recovery. And once the big mess is cleaned up, all we have to do is pick up after ourselves as we go along.

Just for Today: I will clear away what's cluttering my spirit by making the amends I owe.


This is food for thoughts. Will have to check it out later, on my way to the doctor's.

[MajestyJo]

September 05, 2014

Not hopelessly bad

Page 259

"We find that we suffer from a disease, not a moral dilemma. We were critically ill, not hopelessly bad."

Basic Text p.16

For many of us, Narcotics Anonymous was the answer to a personal puzzle of long standing. Why did we always feel alone, even in a crowd, we wondered? Why did we do so many crazy, self-destructive things? Why did we feel so badly about ourselves so much of the time? And how had our lives gotten so messed up? We thought we were hopelessly bad, or perhaps hopelessly insane.

Given that, it was a great relief to learn we suffered from a disease. Addiction-that was the source of our problems. A disease, we realized, could be treated. And when we treat our disease, we can begin to recover.

Today, when we see symptoms of our disease resurfacing in our lives, we need not despair. After all, it's a treatable disease we have, not a moral dilemma. We can be grateful we can recover from the disease of addiction through the application of the Twelve Steps of NA.

Just for Today: I am grateful that I have a treatable disease, not a moral dilemma. I will continue applying the treatment for the disease of addiction by practicing the NA program.


I was told that I was a sick person trying to get well, not a bad person trying to get good.

[MajestyJo]

September 06, 2014

Regular meeting attendance

Page 260

"We have learned from our group experience that those who keep coming to our meetings regularly stay clean."

Basic Text p.9

The NA program gives us a new pattern of living. One of the basic elements of that new pattern is regular meeting attendance. For the newcomer, living clean is a brand new experience. All that once was familiar is changed. The old people, places, and things that served as props on the stage of our lives are gone. New stresses appear, no longer masked or deadened by drugs. That's why we often suggest that newcomers attend a meeting every day. No matter what comes up, no matter how crazy the day gets, we know that our daily meeting awaits us. There, we can renew contact with other recovering addicts, people who know what we're going through because they've been through it themselves. No day needs to go by without the relief we get only from such fellowship.

As we mature in recovery, we get the same kinds of benefits from regular meeting attendance. Regardless of how long we've been clean, we never stop being addicts. True, we probably won't immediately start using mass quantities of drugs if we miss our meetings for a few days. But the more regularly we attend NA meetings, the more we reinforce our identity as recovering addicts. And each meeting helps put us that much further from becoming using addicts again.

Just for Today: I will make a commitment to include regular meeting attendance as a part of my new pattern of living.


Meetings are so important. Even in today, I can't get out to meetings very often and the ones around me are not wheel chair accessible.

Coming to the site each day is my meeting.

[MajestyJo]

September 07, 2014

Resentment and forgiveness

Page 261

"Where there has been wrong, the program teaches us the spirit of forgiveness. "

Basic Text p.12

In NA, we begin to interact with the world around us. We no longer live in isolation. But freedom from isolation has its price:

The more we interact with people, the more often we'll find someone stepping on our toes. And such are the circumstances in which resentments are often born.

Resentments, justified or not, are dangerous to our ongoing recovery. The longer we harbor resentments, the more bitter they become, eventually poisoning us. To stay clean, we must find the capacity to let go of our resentments, the capacity to forgive. We first develop this capacity in working Steps Eight and Nine, and we keep it alive by regularly taking the Tenth Step. Sometimes when we are unwilling to forgive, it helps to remember that we, too, may someday require another person's forgiveness. Haven't we all, at one time or another, done something that we deeply regretted? And aren't we healed in some measure when others accept our sincere amends?

An attitude of forgiveness is a little easier to develop when we remember that we are all doing the very best we can. And someday we, too, will need forgiveness.

Just for Today: I will let go of my resentments. Today, if I am wronged, I will practice forgiveness, knowing that I need forgiveness myself.

People say, "I will forgive, but I won't forget." That is not forgiving. I needed a change of attitude. I found for the most part, I didn't forget, but I didn't retain that "grrrrr" in my soul and I didn't have that "eat him raw" or "God save His soul" attitude about him every time I thought about it. It was about forgiving him and saving my soul.

[MajestyJo]

September 08, 2014

Rebellion

Page 262

"We need not lose faith when we become rebellious."

Basic Text p.34

Many of us have lived our entire lives in revolt. Our initial response to any type of direction is often negative. Automatic rejection of authority seems to be a troubling character defect for many addicts.

A thorough self-examination can show us how we react to the world around us. We can ask ourselves if our rebellion against people, places, and institutions is justified. If we keep writing long enough, we can usually get past what others did and uncover our own part in our affairs. We find that what others did to us was not as important as how we responded to the situations we found ourselves in.

Regular inventory allows us to examine the patterns in our reactions to life and see if we are prone to chronic rebelliousness. Sometimes we will find that, while we may usually go along with what is suggested to us rather than risk rejection, we secretly harbor resentments against authority. If left to themselves, these resentments can lead us away from our program of recovery.

The inventory process allows us to uncover, evaluate, and alter our rebellious patterns. We can't change the world by taking an inventory, but we can change the way we react to it.

Just for Today: I want freedom from the turmoil of rebelliousness. Before I act, I will inventory myself and think about my true values.

I rebelled against the rules that I saw people make and break.

[MajestyJo]

September 09, 2014

Feet of clay

Page 263

"One of the biggest stumbling blocks to recovery seems to be placing unrealistic expectations on... others."

Basic Text p.78

Many of us come into Narcotics Anonymous feeling pretty poorly about ourselves. By comparison, the recovering addicts we meet at meetings may seem almost superhumanly serene. These wise, loving people have many months, even years of living in accordance with spiritual principles, giving of themselves to others without expecting anything back. We trust them, allowing them to love us until we can love ourselves. We expect them to make everything alright again.

Then the glow of early recovery begins to fade, and we start to see the human side of our NA friends and sponsor. Perhaps a fellow member of our home group stands us up for a coffee date, or we see two oldtimers bickering at a committee meeting, or we realize our sponsor has a defect of character or two. We're crushed, disillusioned-these recovering addicts aren't perfect after all! How can we possibly trust them anymore?

Somewhere between "the heroes of recovery" and "the lousy NA bums" lies the truth: Our fellow addicts are neither completely bad nor completely good. After all, if they were perfect, they wouldn't need this program. Our friends and sponsor are ordinary recovering addicts, just like we are. We can relate to their ordinary recovery experience and use it in our own program.

Just for Today: My friends and my sponsor are human, just like me-and I trust their experience all the more for that.

This is a good lesson. It is one reason why it is not good to put your sponsor on a pedestal. She just might fall off. She has a life. She is human and as much as I liked to think she was, I was not the center of her universe. They work miracles, they believe in them, because they themselves are one, be patient, and allow them to share their experience, strength, and hope with you. What worked for them, may not always work for you, but their guidance, just may guide you in the way that is good for you. She can tell you what not to do. It is up to you whether you believe and listen.

[MajestyJo]

September 10, 2014

More powerful than words

Page 264

"We learn that a simple, loving hug can make all the difference in the world."

Basic Text p.88

Perhaps there have been times in our recovery when we were close to someone who was in great pain. We struggled with the question, "What can I do to make them feel better?" We felt anxious and inadequate to relieve their suffering. We wished we had more experience to share. We didn't know what to say.

But sometimes life deals wounds that can't be eased by even the most heartfelt words. Words can never express all we mean when our deepest feelings of compassion are involved. Language is inadequate to reach a wounded soul, as only the touch of a loving Higher Power can heal an injury to the spirit.

When those we love are grieving, simply being present is perhaps the most compassionate contribution we can offer. We can rest assured that a loving Higher Power is working hard at healing the spirit; our only responsibility is to be there. Our presence, a loving hug, and a sympathetic ear will surely express the depth of our feelings, and do more to reach the heart of a human being in pain than mere words ever could.

Just for Today: I will offer my presence, a hug, and a sympathetic ear to someone I love.


Pretty awesome, nobody can help, but a prayer and a hug sure goes a long way to making someone feel a whole lot better.

My pain is always there, it takes many forms and I never know when and where it is going to make itself known. Some days, all I can do is pray and give myself a hug.

[MajestyJo]

September 11, 2014

Bend with the wind

Page 265

"We learn to become flexible.. As new things are revealed, we feel renewed."

Basic Text p.98

"Flexibility" was not a part of the vocabulary we used in our using days. We'd become obsessed with the raw pleasure of our drugs and hardened to all the softer, subtler, more infinitely varied pleasures of the world around us. Our disease had turned life itself into a constant threat of jails, institutions, and death, a threat against which we hardened ourselves all the more. In the end we became brittle. With the merest breath of life's wind we crumbled at last, broken, defeated, with no choice but to surrender.

But the beautiful irony of recovery is that, in our surrender, we found the flexibility we had lost in our addiction, the very lack of which had defeated us. We regained the ability to bend in life's breeze without breaking. When the wind blew, we felt its loving caress against our skin, where once we would have hardened ourselves as if against the onrush of a storm.

The winds of life blow new airs our way each moment, and with them new fragrances, new pleasures, varied, subtly different. As we bend with life's wind, we feel and hear and touch and smell and taste all it has to offer us. And as new winds blow, we feel renewed.

Just for Today: Higher Power, help me bend with life's wind and glory in its passing. Free me from rigidity.

As my sister use to say, "You were never known for your will power." I said, "I had a lot of will power, more like will-fullness, what I had was won't power." I said to a guy in recovery, "It is nice to find in recovery that everything isn't black and white and that there are shades of gray. He said, "I am glad that there is black and white, I can see clearly because all I saw was shades of gray. So a lot is our attitude and how we look at and perceive things.

[MajestyJo]

September 12, 2014

New horizons

Page 266

"My life is well-rounded and I am becoming a more comfortable version of myself, not the neurotic, boring person that I thought I'd be without drugs."

Basic Text p.262

Is there really life without drugs? Newcomers are sure that they are destined to lead a humdrum existence once they quit using. That fear is far from reality.

Narcotics Anonymous opens the door to a new way of life for our members. The only thing we lose in NA is our slavery to drugs. We gain a host of new friends, time to pursue hobbies, the ability to be stably employed, even the capacity to pursue an education if we so desire. We are able to start projects and see them through to completion. We can go to a dance and feel comfortable, even if we have two left feet. We start to budget money to travel, even if it's only with a tent to a nearby campsite. In recovery, we find out what interests us and pursue new pastimes. We dare to dream.

Life is certainly different when we have the rooms of Narcotics Anonymous to return to. Through the love we find in NA, we begin to believe in ourselves. Equipped with this belief, we venture forth into the world to discover new horizons. Many times, the world is a better place because an NA member has been there.

Just for Today: I can live a well-rounded, comfortable life-a life I never dreamt existed. Recovery has opened new horizons to me and equipped me to explore them.


Love this. I questioned this myself. I took up line dancing, only to find I could do it, but didn't truly didn't have my zig to go with my zag, that came later. I found that I wanted to zag when I was suppose to zig. I use to smoke the boyfriend's wine tipped cigarillos, and wanted to see if I could do it sober. Couldn't have it with the wine, and it just wasn't the same without the wine, so gave them up. :)

On a serious note, went back to school at the age of 59 and got a certificate of Business Administration om Communications and even got a call back after a resume and job interview. I didn't get the job, I was so glad. I had to go through the formality, but knew the mind was strong but the body was weak and I could not work an 8 hour day. Up until 5 years ago, I have always done volunteer work outside of the rooms of recovery.

[MajestyJo]

September 13, 2014

Something different

Page 267

"We had to have something different, and we thought we had found it in drugs. "

Basic Text p.13

Many of us have always felt different from other people. We know we're not unique in feeling that way; we hear many addicts share the same thing. We searched all our lives for something to make us all right, to fix that "different" place inside us, to make us whole and acceptable. Drugs seemed to fill that need.

When we were high, at least we no longer felt the emptiness or the need. There was one drawback: The drugs, which were our solution, quickly became our problem.

Once we gave up the drugs, the sense of emptiness returned. At first we felt despair because we didn't have any solution of our own to that miserable longing. But we were willing to take direction and began to work the steps. As we did, we found what we'd been looking for, that "something different" Today, we believe that our lifelong yearning was primarily for knowledge of a Higher Power; the "something different" we needed was a relationship with a loving God. The steps tell us how to begin that relationship.

Just for Today: My Higher Power is the "something different' that's always been missing in my life I will use the steps to restore that missing ingredient to my spirit.


Like the thought of the missing ingredient. Like how I would make a cake and forget to put the baking powder or salt in. When I would make something and it just didn't look or taste right, there always seemed to be something missing. I didn't know it was missing the touch of the Master's Hand.

[MajestyJo]

September 14, 2014

Secrets are reservations

Page 268

"Eventually we are shown that we must get honest, or we will use again."

Basic Text p.82

Everyone has secrets, right? Some of us have little secrets, items that would cause only minor embarrassment if found out. Some of us have big secrets, whole areas of our lives cloaked in thick, murky darkness. Big secrets may represent a more obvious, immediate danger to our recovery. But the little secrets do their own kind of damage, the more insidious perhaps because we think they're "harmless!'

Big or little, our secrets represent spiritual territory we are unwilling to surrender to the principles of recovery. The longer we reserve pieces of our lives to be ruled by self-will and the more vigorously we defend our "right" to hold onto them, the more damage we do. Gradually, the unsurrendered territories of our lives tend to expand, taking more and more ground.

Whether the secrets in our lives are big or little, sooner or later they bring us to the same place. We must choose-either we surrender everything to our program, or we will lose our recovery.

Just for Today: I want the kind of recovery that comes from total surrender to the program. Today I will talk with my sponsor and disclose my secrets, big or small.


So very true. It is very scary, when you hear of people who have never done a 4th and 5th Step. You hear that people relapse after several years in recovery, and if you are fortunate enough to get to ask them, they will say I stopped going to meetings, I stopped working the Steps, and I didn't do a complete Step 4 and 5, or they never did them at all.

As we work through the Steps we heal, and as we heal we get new perception, honesty and insight, and it is an awakening, a new awareness, a process, and not a graduation. It is one day at a time. You have today, and anything that you have in today that is rooted in the past. My boyfriends got the sins of my two ex-husbands until I could work the steps, heal my feelings and deal with the trauma, pain, emotions, and hurts. I didn't know what love was, I just knew what it wasn't.

[MajestyJo]

September 15, 2014

Filling the emptiness

Page 269

". . .we think that if we can just get enough food, enough sex, or enough money, we'll be satisfied and everything will be alright."

Basic Text p.77

In our addiction, we could never get enough drugs, or money, or sex, or anything else. Even too much was never enough! There was a spiritual emptiness inside us. Though we tried as hard as we could to fill that emptiness ourselves, we never succeeded. In the end, we realized that we lacked the power to fill it; it would take a Power greater than ourselves to do that.

So we stopped using, and we stopped trying to fill the emptiness in our gut with things. We turned to our Higher Power, asking for its care, strength, and direction. We surrendered and made way for that Power to begin the process of filling our inner void. We stopped grabbing things and started receiving the free gift of love our Higher Power had for us. Slowly, our inner emptiness was being filled.

Now that we've been given our Higher Power's gift of love, what do we do with it? If we clasp that gift tightly to ourselves, we will smother it. We must remember that love grows only when it is shared. We can only keep this gift by freely giving it away. The world of addiction is a world of taking and being taken; the world of recovery is a world of giving and being given. In which world do we choose to live?

Just for Today: I choose to live in the fullness of recovery. I will celebrate my conscious contact with the God of my understanding by freely sharing with others that which has been freely shared with me.

How well I remember that void. That is why I said that my drug of choice was 'more' anything that will fill that space, didn't mind the size, shape, colour, consistency, where it come from, as long as I could use it to fill me up and take away that feeling of more and take away that feeling of empty, hollow, and being alone. How can you be alone in a room full of people. How can you be empty after stuffing yourself with food, sex, and lots of booze, and any other drugs that came your way, and you were still left with that feeling of wanting more.

The only way I could end that feeling was when I embraced the spiritual aspect of the fellowship.

[MajestyJo]

September 16, 2014

Emotional balance

Page 270

"Emotional balance is one of the first results of meditation, and our experience bears this out."

Basic Text p.45

Though each of us defines "emotional balance" a little differently, all of us must find it. Emotional balance can mean finding and maintaining a positive outlook on life, regardless of what may be happening around us. To some, it might mean an understanding of our emotions that allows us to respond, not react, to our feelings. It can mean that we experience our feelings as intensely as we can while also moderating their excessive expression.

Emotional balance comes with practice in prayer and meditation. We get quiet and share our thoughts and hopes and concerns with the God of our understanding. Then we listen for guidance, awaiting the power to act on that direction.

Eventually, our skills in maintaining near-balance get better, and the wild up-and-down emotional swings we used to experience begin to settle. We develop an ability to let others feel their feelings; we have no need to judge them. And we fully embrace our own personal range of emotions.

Just for Today: Through regular prayer and meditation, I will discover what emotional balance means to me.


Amen!

[MajestyJo]

September 17, 2014

Going beyond Step Five

Page 271

"We may think that we have done enough by writing about our past. We cannot afford this mistake."

Basic Text p.32

Some of us aren't too keen on writing out our Fourth Step; others take it to an obsessive extreme. To our sponsor's growing dismay, we inventory ourselves again and again. We discover everything there is to know about why we were the way we were. We have the idea that thinking, writing, and talking about our past is enough. We hear none of our sponsor's suggestions to become entirely ready to have our defects removed or make amends for the harm we've caused. We simply write more about those defects and delightedly share our fresh insights. Finally, our worn-out sponsor withdraws from us in self-defense.

Extreme as this scenario may seem, many of us have found ourselves in just such a situation. Thinking, writing, and talking about what was wrong with us made us feel like we had it all under control. Sooner or later, however, we realized we were stuck in our problems, the solutions nowhere in sight. We knew that, if we wanted to live differently, we would have to move on beyond Step Five in our program. We began to seek the willingness to have a Higher Power remove the character defects of which we'd become so intensely aware. We made amends for the destruction we had caused others in acting out on those defects. Only then did we begin to experience the freedom of an awakening spirit. Today, we're no longer victims; we are free to move on in our recovery.

Just for Today: Although necessary, Steps Four and Five alone will not bring about emotional and spiritual recovery. I will take them, and then I will act on them.

The Steps don't have a side road, unless you choose to get off the recovery road and go back out and use. To obtain sobriety, it doesn't mean it belongs to the other fellowship, it means soundness of mind, and I think I deserve it as a recovering addict. To do that, I had to work Steps 6 and 7, and then move on to 8 and 9, and maintain them all by working Steps 10, 11, and 12, by working them daily.

[MajestyJo]

September 18, 2014

Honest relationships

Page 272

"One of the most profound changes in our lives is in the realm of personal relationships."

Basic Text p.55

Recovery gives many of us relationships that are closer and more intimate than any we've had before. As time passes, we find ourselves gravitating toward those who eventually become our friends, our sponsor, and our partners in life. Shared laughter, tears, and struggles bring shared respect and lasting empathy.

What, then, do we do when we find that we don't agree with our friends on everything? We may discover that we don't share the same taste in music as our dearest friend, or that we don't agree with our spouse about how the furniture should be arranged, or even find ourselves voting differently than our sponsor at a service committee meeting. Does conflict mean that the friendship, the marriage, or the sponsorship is over? No!

These types of conflict are not only to be expected in any long-lasting relationship but are actually an indication that both people are emotionally healthy and honest individuals. In any relationship where both people agree on absolutely everything, chances are that only one person is doing the thinking. If we sacrifice our honesty and integrity to avoid conflicts or disagreements, we give away the best of what we bring to our relationships. We experience the full measure of partnership with another human being when we are fully honest.

Just for Today: I will welcome the differences that make each one of us special. Today, I will work on being myself.

Relationships, something I am not an authority on by any means. At 41, I decided men were my problem and gave them up, and had a man relapse at the age of 56 at 7 years sober. I had 5 more relapses until I found men sobriety at 5 years ago. No joke, all my life, my life wasn't complete without a man. My attitude toward my last husband was, "Preform, make me happy. I am not happy, you are not doing your job." Did I get a humdinger of a resentment in recovery to find out it wasn't his job. Recovery was all about me not him.

We are all our own person. Recovery is about finding that person and who she is, without living her life through someone else or something else, my drug of choice of the day.

[MajestyJo]

September 19, 2014

Fellowship

Page 273

"In NA, our joys are multiplied by sharing good days; our sorrows are lessened by sharing the bad. For the first time in our lives, we don't have to experience anything alone."

IP No.16, "For the Newcomer"

When we practice using the steps and the other tools of our program to work through our hardships, we become able to take pleasure in the joys of living clean. But our joys pass all too quickly if we don't share them with others, while hardships borne alone may be long in passing. In the Fellowship of Narcotics Anonymous, we often multiply our joys and divide our burdens by sharing them with one another.

We addicts experience pleasures in recovery that, sometimes, only another addict can appreciate. Fellow members understand when we tell them of the pride we take today in fulfilling commitments, the warmth we feel in mending damaged relationships, the relief we experience in not having to use drugs to make it through the day. When we share these experiences with recovering addicts and they respond with similar stories, our joy is multiplied. The same principle applies to the challenges we encounter as recovering addicts. By sharing our challenges and allowing other NA members to share their strength with us, our load is lightened.

The fellowship we have in Narcotics Anonymous is precious. Sharing together, we enhance the joys and diminish the burdens of life in recovery.

Just for Today: I will share my joys and my burdens with other recovering addicts. I will also share in theirs. I am grateful for the strong bonds of fellowship in Narcotics Anonymous.


So true, a burden shared is a burden lessened. If you share it with another, you only have to take half of it home. If you share it with a room full of people, that doesn't leave very many left overs.

[MajestyJo]

September 20, 2014

Courage to change

Page 274

"God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference."

Serenity Prayer

Recovery involves change, and change means doing things differently. The problem is, many of us resist doing things differently; what we're doing may not be working, but at least we're familiar with it. It takes courage to step out into the unknown. How do we find that courage?

We can look around ourselves at NA meetings. There, we see others who've found they needed to change what they were doing and who've done so successfully. Not only does that help quiet our fear that change-any change-spells disaster, it also gives us the benefit of their experience with what does work, experience we can use in changing what doesn't.

We can also look at our own recovery experience. Even if that experience, so far, has been limited to stopping the use of drugs, still we have made many changes in our lives-changes for the good. Whatever aspects of our lives we have applied the steps to, we have always found surrender better than denial, recovery superior to addiction. Our own experience and the experience of others in NA tells us that "changing the things I can" is a big part of what recovery is all about. The steps and the power to practice them give us the direction and courage we need to change. We have nothing to fear.

Just for Today: I welcome change. With the help of my Higher Power, I will find the courage to change the things I can.

Have always embraced changed. Sometimes, I have been slow on the uptake about needing to change, but when I am aware, then I take the necessary steps to accomplish it. That is why I called my Yahoo group, The Five As (Awareness, Admittance, Acceptance, Attitude and Action) for healing using the 12 Steps.

[MajestyJo]

September 21, 2014

Prayer

Page 275

"Prayer takes practice, and we should remind ourselves that skilled people were not born with their skills."

Basic Text, p.45

Many of us came into recovery with no experience in prayer and worried about not knowing the "right words!' Some of us remembered the words we'd learned in childhood but weren't sure we believed in those words anymore. Whatever our background, in recovery we struggled to find words that spoke truly from our hearts.

Often the first prayer we attempt Is a simple request to our Higher Power asking for help in staying clean each day. We may ask for guidance and courage or simply pray for knowledge of God's will for us and the power to carry that out. If we find ourselves stumbling in our prayers, we may ask other members to share with us about how they learned to pray. No matter whether we pray in need or pray in joy, the important thing is to keep making the effort.

Our prayers will be shaped by our experience with the Twelve Steps and our personal understanding of a Higher Power. As our relationship with that Higher Power develops, we become more comfortable with prayer. In time, prayer becomes a source of strength and comfort. We seek that source often and willingly.

Just for Today: I know that prayer can be simple. I will start where I am and practice.


For me prayer comes from the heart. The words don't matter a lot when they come from the heart. It takes prayer but I don't think we can go far wrong if we use the Serenity Prayers. Not much on formal prayers. They are beautiful words, but they were not written with me in mind. I prefer a direct line with my God.

[MajestyJo]

September 22, 2014

Keeping the gift

Page 276

"Life takes on a new meaning when we open ourselves to this gift."

Basic Text, p.102

Neglecting our recovery is like neglecting any other gift we've been given. Suppose someone gave you a new car. Would you let it sit in the driveway until the tires rotted? Would you just drive it, ignoring routine maintenance, until it expired on the road? Of course not! You would go to great lengths to maintain the condition of such a valuable gift.

Recovery is also a gift, and we have to care for it if we want to keep it. While our recovery doesn't come with an extended warranty, there is a routine maintenance schedule. This maintenance includes regular meeting attendance and various forms of service. We'll have to do some daily cleaning-our Tenth Step-and, once in a while, a major Fourth Step overhaul will be required. But if we maintain the gift of recovery, thanking the Giver each day, it will continue.

The gift of recovery is one that grows with the giving. Unless we give it away, we can't keep it. But in sharing our recovery with others, we come to value it all the more.

Just for Today: My recovery is a gift, and I want to keep it. I'll do the required maintenance, and I'll share my recovery with others.


So true, if you want to keep it, you have to give it away and share it with others.

[MajestyJo]

September 23, 2014

Dealing with gossip

Page 277

"In accordance with the principles of recovery, we try not to judge, stereotype, or moralize with each other."

Basic Text, p.11

Let's face it: In Narcotics Anonymous, we live in a glass house of sorts. Our fellow members know more about our personal lives than anyone has ever known before. They know who we spend our time with, where we work, what step we're on, how many children we have, and so forth. And what our fellow members don't know, they will probably imagine.

We may be unhappy when others gossip about us. But if we withdraw from the fellowship and isolate ourselves to avoid gossip, we also rob ourselves of the love, friendship, and unparalleled experience with recovery that our fellow members have to offer. A better way to deal with gossip is to simply accept the way things are and the way we are, and live our lives according to principles. The more secure we become with our personal program, the decisions we make, and the guidance we receive from a loving God, the less the opinions of others will concern us.

Just for Today: I am committed to being involved in the NA Fellowship. The opinions of others will not affect my commitment to recovery.

Gossip is a soul sickness and almost drove me out of the fellowship. I left AA and went to NA, so that was good and something I needed at the time. I always knew I was an addict, my denial was about being an alcoholic.

[MajestyJo]

September 24, 2014

A growing concept of God

Page 278

"The only suggested guidelines are that this Power be loving, caring, and greater than ourselves. We don't have to be religious to accept this idea. The point is that we open our minds to believe."

Basic Text, p.24

In a lifelong process of coming to believe, our understanding of God will change. The understanding we have when new in recovery will not be the same when we have a few months clean, nor will that understanding be the same when we have a few years clean.

Our initial understanding of a Power greater than ourselves will most likely be limited. That Power will keep us clean but, we may think, nothing more. We may hesitate to pray because we have placed conditions on what we will ask our Higher Power to do for us. "Oh, this stuff is so awful, even God couldn't do anything," we might say, or "God's got a lot of people to take care of. There's no time for me!'

But, as we grow in recovery, so will our understanding. We'll begin to see that the only limits to God's love and grace are those we impose by refusing to step out of the way. The loving God we come to believe in is infinite, and the power and love we find in our belief is shared by nearly every recovering addict around the world.

Just for Today: The God I am coming to understand has a limitless capacity for love and care. I will trust that my God is bigger than any problem I may have.

Amen!

[MajestyJo]

September 25, 2014

The Fourth Step - fearing our feelings

Page 279

"We may fear that being in touch with our feelings will trigger an overwhelming chain reaction of pain and panic."

Basic Text, p.29

A common complaint about the Fourth Step is that it makes us painfully conscious of our defects of character. We may be tempted to falter in our program of recovery. Through surrender and acceptance, we can find the resources we need to keep working the steps.

It's not the awareness of our defects that causes the most agony-it's the defects themselves. When we were using, all we felt was the drugs; we could ignore the suffering our defects were causing us. Now that the drugs are gone, we feel that pain. Refusing to acknowledge the source of our anguish doesn't make it go away; denial protects the pain and makes it stronger. The Twelve Steps help us deal with the misery caused by our defects by dealing directly with the defects themselves.

If we hurt from the pain of our defects, we can remind ourselves of the nightmare of addiction, a nightmare from which we've now awakened. We can recall the hope for release the Second Step gave us. We can again turn our will and our lives over, through the Third Step, to the care of the God of our understanding. Our Higher Power cares for us by giving us the help we need to work the rest of the Twelve Steps. We don't have to fear our feelings. Just for today, we can continue in our recovery.

Just for Today: I won't be afraid of my feelings. With the help of my Higher Power, I'll continue in my recovery.

Not feeling well enough to share on this. It is a good read though. Not well enough to post any more tonight.

[MajestyJo]

September 26, 2014

Seeing ourselves in others

Page 280

"It will not make us better people to judge the faults of another."

Basic Text, p.37

How easy it is to point out the faults of others! There's a reason for this: The defects we identify most easily in others are often the defects we are most familiar with in our own characters. We may notice our best friend's tendency to spend too much money, but if we examine our own spending habits we'll probably find the same compulsiveness. We may decide our sponsor is much too involved in service, but find that we haven't spent a single weekend with our families in the past three months because of one service commitment or another.

What we dislike in our fellows are often those things we dislike most in ourselves. We can turn this observation to our spiritual advantage. When we are stricken with the impulse to judge someone else, we can redirect the impulse in such a way as to recognize our own defects more clearly. What we see will guide our actions toward recovery and help us become emotionally healthy and happy individuals.

Just for Today: I will look beyond the character defects of others and recognize my own.


In order to recognize it, they say you have to own it. It may be a different colour or a different size, but the basics are the same, and the program is applicable.

[MajestyJo]

September 27, 2014

Right back up

Page 281

"There is something in our self-destructive personalities that cries for failure."

Basic Text, p.77

"Poor me; woe is me; look at me, my life is such a mess! I've fallen, and no matter how hard I try, I continue to fail!' Many of us came to NA singing this sad refrain.

Life isn't like that anymore. True, sometimes we still stumble; at times we even fall. Sometimes we feel like we can't move forward in our lives, no matter how hard we try. But the truth of the matter is that, with the help of other recovering addicts in NA, we find a hand to pull us up, dust us off, and help us start all over again. That's the new refrain in our lives today.

No longer do we say, "I'm a failure and I'm going nowhere!' Usually, it's more like, "Rats! I hit that same bump in the road of life again. Pretty soon I'll learn to slow down or avoid it entirely!' Until then, we may continue to fall down occasionally, but we've learned that there's always a helping hand to set us on our feet again.

Just for Today: If I begin to cry failure, I'll remember there is a way to move forward. I will accept the encouragement and support of NA.

Remember the last letter on Just For Today, spells T R Y. The failure isn't in trying and falling down. The failure is in not trying.

[MajestyJo]

September 28, 2014

Hope

Page 282

"Gradually as we become more God-centered than self centered, our despair turns to hope."

Basic Text, p.92

As using addicts, despair was our relentless companion. It colored our every waking moment. Despair was born of our experience in active addiction: No matter what measures we tried to make our lives better, we slid ever deeper into misery. Attempts we made to control our lives frequently met with failure. In a sense, our First Step admission of powerlessness was an acknowledgment of despair.

Steps Two and Three lead us gradually out of that despair and into new hope, the companion of the recovering addict. Having accepted that so many of our efforts to change have failed, we come to believe that there is a Power greater than ourselves. We believe this Power can-and will-help us. We practice the Second and Third Steps as an affirmation of our hope for a better life, turning to this Power for guidance. As we come to rely more and more on a Higher Power for the management of our day-to-day life, the despair arising from our long experiment with self-sufficiency disappears.

Just for Today: I will reaffirm my Third Step decision. I know that, with a Higher Power in my life, there is hope.

Without a Higher Power, I have no life. I have to make that decision every day and when I come up against a traumatic situation, I reaffirm that He is there.

[MajestyJo]

September 29, 2014

Just for today

Page 283

"When we stop living in the here and now, our problems become magnified unreasonably."

Basic Text, p.96

"Just for today" - it's a comforting thought. If we try to live in the past, we may find ourselves torn by painful, disquieting memories. The lessons of our using are not the teachers we seek for recovery. Living in tomorrow means moving in with fear.

We cannot see the shape of the secret future, and uncertainty brings worry. Our lives look overwhelming when we lose the focus of today.

Living in the moment offers freedom. In this moment, we know that we are safe. We are not using, and we have everything we need. What's more, life is happening in the here and now. The past is gone and the future has yet to arrive; our worrying won't change any of it. Today, we can enjoy our recovery, this very minute.

Just for Today: I will stay in the here and now. Today - this moment - I am free.


The pamphlet Just for Today is my favourite. A reminder for me as to how to work my program:

Just for today I will try to live through this day only & not tackle my whole life problem at once. I can do something for twelve hours that would appall me if I felt that I had to keep it up for a lifetime.

Just for today I will be happy. This assumes to be true what Abraham Lincoln said, that “Most folks are as happy as they make up their minds to be.”

Just for today I will adjust myself to what is & not try to adjust everything else to my desires. I will take my “luck” as it comes & fit myself into it.

Just for today I will try to strengthen my mind. I will study; I will learn something useful; I will not be a mental loafer; I will read something that requires effort, thought & concentration.

Just for today I will exercise my soul in three ways: I will do somebody a good turn & not get found out; if anybody knows of it, it will not count; I will do at least two things I don’t want to do–just for exercise. I will not show anyone that my feelings are hurt; they may be hurt, but today I will not show it.

Just for today I will be agreeable. I will look as good as I can, dress becomingly, talk low, act courteously, criticize not one bit, not find fault with anything & not try to improve or regulate anybody except myself.

Just for today I will have a program. I may not follow it exactly, but I will have it. I will save myself from two pests: hurry & indecision.

Just for today I will have a quiet half hour all by myself & relax. During this half hour, sometime, I will try to get a better perspective on my life.

Just for today I will be unafraid. I will enjoy that which is beautiful & will believe that as I give to the world, so the world will give to me.

NARCOTICS ANONYMOUS VERSION

=======================================

Just for today my thoughts will be on my recovery, living & enjoying life without the use of drugs.

Just for today I will have faith in someone in NA who believes in me & wants to help me in my recovery.

Just for today I will have a program. I will try to follow it to the best of my ability.

Just for today, through NA, I will try to get a better perspective on my life.

Just for today I will be unafraid, my thoughts will be on my new associations, people who are not using & who have found a new way of life. So long as I follow that way, I have nothing to fear.

http://www.naranon.ca/justfortoday.htm

Just for today, ...
I will live through the next 12 hours
and not try to tackle all of life's problems at once.
I will improve my mind. I will learn something useful.
I will learn something that requires effort, thought, and concentration.
I will be agreeable. I will look my best,
speak in well-modulated voice, be courteous and considerate.
I will not find fault with friend, relative or colleague.
I will not try to change or improve anyone other than myself.
I will have a program. I might not follow it exactly, but I will have it.
I will save myself from two enemies, hurry and indecision.
I will do a good deed and keep it secret.
If anyone finds out, it won't count.
I will do two things I don't want to do, just for exercise.
I will believe in myself. I will give my best to the world
and feel confident that the world will give its best to me.

Original source unknown to me

Just for today, I choose not to use. There is no such thing as a healthy addiction, it all leads to the same soul sickness.

My drug of choice is more....

More of what you are having, more of what I am having, and more of anything else that comes my way.

Anything that takes me out of self.

Anything that takes me out of the reality of the moment.

Anything that takes away the responsibility of coping with today.

Anything that takes away the feeling of being alone with me.

Anything that takes away my feelings,

Anything that is in front of me.

I am glad that the anything that is in front of me is the program of recovery and the Twelve Steps which allow me to walk this road clean and sober today.

[MajestyJo]

September 30, 2014

Being ourselves

Page 284

"Our real value is in being ourselves."

Basic Text, p.101

Over and over, we have tried to live up to the expectations of those around us. We may have been raised believing that we were okay if we earned good grades in school, cleaned our rooms, or dressed a certain way. Always wanting to belong and be loved, many of us spent a lot of time trying to fit in-yet we never quite seemed to measure up.

Now, in recovery, we are accepted as we are. Our real value to others is in being ourselves. As we work the steps, we learn to accept ourselves just as we are. Once this happens, we gain the freedom to become who we want to be.

We each have many good qualities we can share with others. Our experiences, honestly shared, help others find the level of identification they need to begin their recovery. We discover that we all have special gifts to offer those around us.

Just for Today: My experience in recovery is the greatest gift I can give another addict. I will share myself honestly with others.

You never know when you are going to here your story told in a meeting. I have heard my story by a woman I had a resentment against in AA and a young woman who had a year back from a relapse have having 13 years clean in CA. I always knew I was an addict, and yet I had this denial about being and alcoholic. The girl in CA had never drank in her life because her father was an alcoholic.

It isn't the substance that is the problem, the issue is me.