Today's Thought - October

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October 1

Patience is needed with everyone, but first of all with ourselves.
--Saint Francis De Sales

One night Sandra was having trouble putting a puzzle together. Angrily, she pushed all the pieces into a huge pile.

"I can't do this," she said. She got up and walked over to the couch and plopped down.

"Let me tell you a story," said her dad, as he sat down next to her. "There was a daughter who helped her dad take care of her baby sister. Again and again, she helped her baby sister stand and try to walk. One day the daughter tried to put a puzzle together but gave up after only a few tries. She had forgotten how many times she had helped her baby sister."

We are all like Sandra, sometimes. We forget to allow ourselves to fail, even though our growth up to now has been a series of failures that we've learned from. With patience, we allow ourselves to take chances we might not otherwise explore, and we widen our world of possibilities. Life has been patient with us so far, now it's our turn.

What have I failed at that I can try again today?

You are reading from the book:

Today's Gift by Anonymous

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October 2


The universe operates through dynamic exchange . . .
--Deepak Chopra

The word currency comes from the Latin word currere, which means "to run," as in "to flow." Currency, or course, is another term for money. By definition, money is meant to be exchanged. We give and receive it. We've probably all heard the expressions "What goes around comes around," "Give and you shall receive," and "You get what you give." We've probably all experienced this phenomenon as well, sometimes with surprise or even amazement.

When we feel we're lacking, we open our hearts to giving. When we give what we seek, we find it returns to us at the right time and place - just when we need it, reminding us that we do not lack for anything. Gifts needn't be material or verbal. They can be good thoughts and prayers, affection, or time.

Today I will give joyfully, knowing that my needs will be met.

You are reading from the book:

Letting Go of Debt by Karen Casanova

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October 3

The salvation of man is through love and in love.
--Viktor Frankl

The panhandler on the busy street corner reels forsaken. The elderly woman whose phone doesn't ring stares through a gap in her drawn drapes and wonders if she's been forgotten. And awaiting the prayed for visit from a potential foster parent, the child is fearfully certain he won't be acceptable.

The tragedy is that so few of us have experienced whole and unconditional love from the significant people in our lives. So few of us are certain of our value in the lives of others. For parents and teachers we performed to earn their favor. From friends we expected acceptance, yet sometimes we bought it. And because we haven't known the pleasure of unconditional love but have been perpetually in search of it, we've not felt adequate to offer it to others. It's difficult to give away what we fear we don't have; yet, paradoxically, that's the key to our salvation.

As we give others our love, we'll likewise experience a greater measure of it. And it need not come from outside. It will, instead, well up from within. We each have the power of personal salvation. All we must do is love.

You are reading from the book:

Worthy of Love by Karen Casey

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October 4

The most wasted day of all is that on which we have not laughed.
--Sebastien R. N. Chamfort

When we first started going to Twelve Step meetings we were often stunned to hear so much laughter. But we soon learned that a good hearty laugh or a joyful smile is as important to our recovery as all the serious issues we explore.

Learning to laugh is part of our growth. It recognizes our shared experiences and helps us feel closer to one another. It also reminds us we are able to smile again, and that a better perspective on life is returning.

We only have today to live, and we are getting better today, so why not smile and enjoy it? Why not open ourselves up to a good laugh and let it push our pain or sorrow out? Now that we are once again choosing how we feel, we have the power to opt for joy.

Today I am grateful for my ability to laugh and share laughter and fun.

You are reading from the book:

Body, Mind, and Spirit by Anonymous

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October 5

Doing our best

Perhaps we are saving our best effort for the "big break." When such and such happens, then I'll give it my best shot. What we don't realize, however, is that success comes from doing a lot of little things well. Learning to live means learning to manage all our daily responsibilities.

If we can't keep our clothes clean, take out the garbage, or get up on time, how can we expect to handle promotions, marriages, and crises? Daily effort may seem inconsequential, but our big break is the result of all our todays well lived.

Higher Power, help me take care of each thing as it comes along.

You are reading from the book:

Day by Day - Second Edition by Anonymous

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October 6

It only takes one person to change your life - you.
--Ruth Casey

Change is not easy, but it's absolutely unavoidable. Doors will close. Barriers will surface. Frustrations will mount. Nothing stays the same forever, and it's such folly to wish otherwise. Growth accompanies positive change; determining to risk the outcome resulting from a changed behavior or attitude will enhance our self-perceptions. We will have moved forward; in every instance, our lives will be influenced by making a change that only each of us can make.

We have all dreaded the changes we knew we had to make. Perhaps even now we fear some impending changes. Where might they take us? It's difficult accepting that the outcome is not ours to control. Only the effort is ours. The solace is that positive changes, which we know are right for us and other people in our lives, are never going to take us astray. In fact, they are necessary for the smooth path just beyond this stumbling block.

When we are troubled by circumstances in our lives, a change is called for, a change that we must initiate. When we reflect on our recent as well as distant past, we will remember that the changes we most dreaded again and again have positively influenced our lives in untold ways.

Change ushers in glad, not bad, tidings.

You are reading from the book:

Each Day a New Beginning by Karen Casey

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October 7

Taking it easy

Easy does it. Pushing does not help our program; it only causes more pressure within us. "If it doesn't work," we have thought, "get a bigger hammer." But if we only wait for the opportunity, we will be given the opportunity to work out each of our difficulties.

It is better to work out a problem by taking two steps forward and one step back, rather than to push and try to solve it at once, fail, and then stop trying. It helps to remember that we are never given more than we can handle, one day at a time.

Have I learned to take it easy?

Higher Power, I depend on You for my very breath. Help me realize that the more I depend on You, the more I accept Your help, the more I can handle.

You are reading from the book:

Day by Day - Second Edition by Anonymous

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October 8

Your Destiny

Watch your thoughts,

they become your words.

Watch your words,

they become your actions.

Watch your actions,

they become your character.

Watch your character,

it becomes your destiny.

You are reading from the book:

The 12 Step Prayer Book Volume 2 by Bill P. and Lisa D.

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October 9

When am I manipulative?

Without understanding our motives, we can easily lapse into behavior aimed at manipulating others. Sulking is a means of letting others know we are displeased and forcing them to attempt to win our approval. Flattery is a false expression of approval that we don't really feel - giving others good strokes for our own purpose. Withholding deserved praise is a means of putting others down, something we're likely to do because of our jealousy.

Manipulative behavior is almost always selfish behavior. It is usually a false means of trying to get our own way. It is certainly an immature way of dealing with people and situations.

The best way to avoid being manipulative is to be ourselves at all times. We have neither the right nor the responsibility to control or regulate other people. Our best approach, in trying to influence another's actions, is simply to state our own case with sincerity and honesty. Others must be free to act, free to choose, and free to make their own decisions without manipulative interference on our part.

I will be myself at all times today. I will not assume false roles simply for the purpose of bending others to my own will. Manipulative behavior is controlling behavior, which I must avoid.

You are reading from the book:

Walk in Dry Places by Mel B.

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October 10

Persons who habitually drink water become just as good gourmets about water as wine drinkers on wine.
--Alexandre Dumas

How fortunate are those among us who have the ability to turn things around - to transform liabilities into assets. Life deals them lemons: they make lemonade, lemon pie, candied lemon peel. They seem to be able to assess the needs of the moment accurately and turn them to advantage.

We are all different. Success in life probably has more to do with expressing our uniqueness fully than with suppressing it and trying to resemble everybody else. Who is "everybody else," anyway?

We can't respond authentically to the moment if we're concealing the truth. The truth for us involves our own unique package of qualities, our own experience and energy, our own way of looking at things. Freedom, for us, depends on the choices only we can make. The proper appreciation of water is a pleasure that demands discipline. We're totally unable to experience this pleasure if we are wishing for wine.

Human beings share many characteristics. One of the most important is difference. Today I will cherish these differences as one of the bonds that joins me to others.

You are reading from the book:

The Promise of a New Day by Karen Casey and Martha Vanceburg

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October 11

As a child, I walked through the world with wonder and awe. Each day started with a question and ended with a question. I had the mind of a beginner.
--Anonymous

Did you ever notice that children ask the best questions? Why are things the way they are? How do they work? How did we get here? Who made us? Why?

These are the most important questions in life. Most of us never really get our questions answered. We just learn to stop asking people. We act like the things they tell us answer the questions, but they really don't.

Such questions are questions of the spirit. We can ask our Higher Power to help us learn the answers. We can talk with other people who are also interested in these questions and share our thoughts and ideas. Now that we are sober we can even read books that explore these questions. The truth is, we may never understand the answers because we are only human beings. But thinking about these things is good because it helps us be thankful for the mystery of life.

Prayer for the Day

Higher Power, I know I'll never understand everything, but will You please teach me something interesting today? Thank You.

Today's Action

What have I done lately to learn more about the mystery of life? What is one thing I can do today?

You are reading from the book:

God Grant Me... by Anonymous

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October 12

Misery is optional.

We may have learned to be miserable, but we can choose to unlearn it. Though we can't control what happens to us, we can determine how we will interpret and react to what happens. We can moan about the things we don't like, using them as excuses for self-pity ("poor me"), or we can implement the Serenity Prayer, accepting what we can't change and changing what we can.

In the past, we often made ourselves miserable by over-doing things. Now, how often do we continue to invite misery by thinking we ought to be able to control other people? What part do unrealistic expectations play in the creation and continuation of our misery?

When we're hurting, we need to do something about it. A physical hurt may require a doctor; an emotional pain may call for a therapist or friend, and spiritual distress may indicate the need for more prayer and meditation, closer contact with a Higher Power. We can accept responsibility for our feelings, become willing to go to any lengths to get well, and choose not to be miserable.

Responding with misery is not on my list of options for today.

You are reading from the book:

Inner Harvest by Elisabeth L.

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October 13

When you do all the talking you only learn what you already know.
--Anonymous

One of the secrets for finding answers to any emotional problem is to talk with fellow members we can confide in fully. We don't need to look any farther than our sponsor or the members who are part of our recovery. We quickly find those who always hear with a complete understanding about how we feel.

Such friends are perfect listeners because they have suffered and survived the same types of problems. They are compassionate and sympathetic. They listen to us patiently while we completely describe our emotions. Only then do they share details about how they survived. Just knowing that they understand is comforting to us.

My listeners can't solve my problems for me. But they do show how they used the tools that are available in the Program to work through the same kinds of problems.

You are reading from the book:

Easy Does It by Anonymous

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October 14

Argue not concerning God.
--Walt Whitman

Newcomer

It's obvious from what I hear people saying in meetings that God is a pretty important part of Twelve Step programs. What if I don't believe in God or a Higher Power?

Sponsor

We don't need religion in order to recover. The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop using our preferred addictive substance or behavior. To recover, we have to put down what we're addicted to, and we have to come to meetings. Not easy, perhaps, but simple and clear.

Whether or not we believe in God, most of us recognize that we don't live entirely independently. The phrase "a power greater than ourselves," from Step Two, is a reminder to me that I don't run the universe. Whatever I believe about God's existence, I have to accept that I myself am not God - if I'm going to recover. I can't control my addiction on my own. Willpower stopped working for me some time ago; I owe this newfound willingness to recover to someone or something that isn't my intellect or will.

Those who reject traditional concepts of God can still point to something inside - what some call their "better self," their "sense of right and wrong," their "higher self," or their "spirit" - that got them here. The desire for wholeness has somehow proved stronger than the impulse toward self-destruction.

Today, I accept that I'm not all-powerful.

You are reading from the book:

If You Want What We Have by Joan Larkin

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October 15

Walk. Don't walk.
--Traffic Light

Signs direct us on our way in life. Traffic lights tell us to walk (or not), Golden Arches point us to dinner, geese flying south herald the coming winter, flashing neon tells us what to buy. We know how to read these signs of worlds and weather; they help to guide us on our journey.

We can learn to read the signs of human beings, too, to be detectives of the human spirit. Laugh lines around eyes and mouth, the texture of hands, tension in jaws and shoulders can tell much about a person, if we stop to look. All around us are signs that tell us others feel the pain and joy we feel, others need us as we need them, we are understood, and we are not alone.

The marvelous bonus in learning to read these signs in others is that we can begin to let ourselves be read, also.

You are reading from the book:

Today's Gift by Anonymous

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October 16

Anger dwells only in the bosom of fools.
--Albert Einstein

Anger can be a healthy emotion, provided we don't wallow in it or attack other people. When we express anger honestly and without reservation, we can prevent walls of resentment from building up and blocking us off from the intimacy that we strive for in our relationships.

When we allow anger to fester in our heart, we surrender our peace of mind and lose our sense of purpose and self-worth. When we harbor anger rather than openly and respectfully expressing it, we no longer hear our inner spirit. Thus we are cut off from our innate wisdom to guide us in our actions.

We're often drawn to people who express their feelings honestly. This style of communicating serves as an invitation to build a relationship with them based on trust. From this trust we learn to open ourselves to God's love for us as we are.

Today I will feel my anger, express it when necessary, and then let it go so that I can deepen my trust of other people and of God.

You are reading from the book:

In God's Care by Karen Casey

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October 17

There's only one corner of the universe you can be certain of improving, and that's your own self. So you have to begin there, not outside, not on other people. That comes afterward, when you've worked on your own corner.
--Aldous Huxley

Taking responsibility for our own attitudes, actions, and neglects is far more difficult than managing and directing other people's lives.

Giving advice to another, for example, is much easier that practicing what we preach. If we would apply our advice to our own lives, we would have less time to criticize, correct, or interfere in someone else's difficulties. Moreover, we would be amazed at how many alternatives we have within our own grasp that could solve, or at least alleviate, the problems in our lives.

TODAY - Let me realize I am far more positive and productive when I concentrate my efforts and thoughts on changing myself and my own actions. Give me the courage to act on my own internal wisdom.

You are reading from the book:

The Reflecting Pond by Liane Cordes

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October 18

God is not a cosmic bellboy.
--Harry Emerson Fosdick

We have to laugh when we look back at the times we treated God like our servant. Who did we think we were, ordering God to do something for us? But we got away with it. God even did some of the things we asked.

Now we know that our Higher Power is not a servant. As we work the Steps, we know we don't give orders to our Higher Power. We don't expect God to work miracles every time we'd like one. We're asking our Higher Power to lead us. After all, who knows what is best for us - our Higher Power or us?

Our Higher Power has many wonderful gifts for us. Our Higher Power will show us goals, help us live in love and joy, and give us strength.

Prayer for the Day

Higher Power, show me ways to help others as You've helped me. I'm grateful that You love me and help me.

Action for the Day

Today, I'll make a list of times my Higher Power has helped me out of trouble.

You are reading from the book:

Keep It Simple by Anonymous

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October 19

The moment one definitely commits one's self, and then providence moves too.
--W.H. Murray

We believe God is always with us, but we can experience God's presence more visibly when we have the courage to act.

Decisions are difficult for us. Sometimes we won't make a decision until we feel it is absolutely right. We are finding out, though, that there is some right and some wrong in every decision. We may never feel completely sure of anything.

Today, we can risk moving forward and trust ourselves, with the guidance of our Higher Power, to move in a right and orderly direction. Once we start moving, we will feel better. We usually get what we need when we begin a course of action.

Today let me stop waiting and take action.

You are reading from the book:

Our Best Days by Nancy Hull-Mast

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October 20

I feel good about myself since I started taking care of my body. It's the home that goes with me each day of my life.
--Bill L. - Age 17

When we were using, we often neglected our bodies and personal hygiene. We may have also stopped getting regular medical and dental care. It seemed that the ups and downs of a user's life left us with little energy for personal care.

Today we are surprised at how much joy we get out of smelling good and dressing with care. Many of us are developing our own personal style.

At first, we might need to force ourselves to call for regular checkups, but the feeling of wellness we get from being responsible for our bodies outweighs our old fears.

Today let me love myself enough to care about my physical health and appearance.

You are reading from the book:

Our Best Days by Nancy Hull-Mast

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October 21

Choice of attention - to pay attention to this and ignore that - is to the inner life what choice of action is to the outer. In both cases, a man is responsible for his choice and must accept the consequences.
--W. H. Auden

Many of us have said, "I can't help myself!" when we tried to stop our constant thinking about other people or their behavior. "I know it's not good for me, but what can I do when they keep acting that way?"

Let us think of ourselves as living in a house with many windows. At each window is a different view, and within each view are many things to catch our attention -- perhaps there are some people, some traffic, some buildings, a horizon, and some trees. If we always go to the same window and focus on the same object, we are not using all our choices. We may have overlooked some things in our lives that need attention. There are many things we are totally powerless over. Our power exists in changing the focus of our attention.

Today, I will notice where I am choosing to pay attention. I pray for guidance in being aware of my options.

You are reading from the book:

Touchstones by Anonymous

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October 22

And this above all, to thine own self be true.
And it must follow as night the day,
thou canst not be false to any man.
--Shakespeare

"To thine own self be true." "Live the life you were meant to live." "Be the person you were meant to be." These statements convey a wonderful truth - that when we go inside and trust our intuition, life opens before us. When we ignore our inner leanings, however, trouble arises.

Joe had a love of the outdoors but, like his father, he became addicted to his work. Though he built up a successful law practice, Joe felt creatively stifled and inwardly desolate. One day Joe was diagnosed with an inoperable brain tumor. Realizing he had nothing to lose, he decided to pursue his passion and hike the Pacific Coast trail. Six months later, the tumor had disappeared.

Trying to live out somebody else's life script is like putting a size 10 foot into a size 7 shoe. The size simply does not fit. No matter how hard you force yourself to adjust to your situation, the discomfort continues.

Why not start off with the right fit? Acknowledge your unique gifts and talents, as well as your wants and needs. Then seek out situations and circumstances that will allow them their full expression. This route may take time, but the results are worth it - a life of peace and fulfillment that comes from being true to yourself.

You are reading from the book:

Listening to Your Inner Voice by Douglas Bloch

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October 23

Clarity

I know better than to not trust God. But sometimes, I forget that.

When we are in the midst of an experience, it is easy to forget that there is a Plan. Sometimes, all we can see is today.

If we were to watch a weaver sewing a tapestry for only a few moments, and focused on only a small piece of the work, it would not look beautiful. It would look like a few peculiar threads randomly placed. How often we use that same, limited perspective to look at our life - especially when we are going through a difficult time.

We can learn to have perspective when we are going through those confusing, difficult learning times. When we are being pelted by events that make us feel, think, and question, we are in the midst of learning something important.

We can trust that something valuable is being worked out in us - even when things are difficult, even when we cannot get our bearings. Insight and clarity do not come until we have mastered our lesson.

Faith is like a muscle. It must be exercised to grow strong. Repeated experiences of having to trust what we can't see and repeated experiences of learning to trust that things will work out, are what makes our faith muscles grow strong.

Today, I will trust that the events in my life are not random. My experiences are not a mistake. The Universe, my Higher Power, and life are not picking on me. I am going through what I need to go through to learn something valuable, something that will prepare me for the joy and love I am seeking.

You are reading from the book:

The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie

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October 24

Two persons love in one another the future good which they aid one another to unfold.
--Margaret Fuller

We can see the potential for growth in friends we love, a reality that often lies hidden to them. Through our encouragement and our commitment to them, we can help them tackle the barriers to success. Likewise, we'll be helped. It's within the plan, ours and theirs, that we're traveling this road together.

For moments in time, we're matched pairs, drawing from each other the talents the world awaits, while alone we sometimes withdraw, thus depriving the world of what we have to offer. The expression of love will push forward the development of the whole human race.

No one of us is without someone to love if we'd but choose to offer ourselves to another.

You are reading from the book:

Worthy of Love by Karen Casey

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October 25

I never realized how often I used the words "just" and "only."
--Mary Pat K.

Adult children [of alcoholics] often live within a framework of shame. One symptom of this is we minimize our achievements, feelings, needs, or opinions. Behind that is our feeling that we aren't and can't do anything special. So it figures we would find a way to discount whatever we do.

Two words we use frequently are "just" and "only." We say things like, "Our house has only two bedrooms" or "I only got a red ribbon at the state fair, and my tomatoes didn't place" or "I'll just eat these leftovers for dinner, and you can have the steak." These are ways of saying, "I don't count."

But, of course, we do count. How freeing it is to grow to the place where we say, "I've only entered the state fair once and I won a ribbon. I'm proud of myself." Or, "No, I don't want the leftovers either. Let's share the steak."

We give strength to minimizing attitudes when we use minimizing words. We deserve better.

Today, I will not minimize my achievements or needs. I will give someone an honest opinion about an issue that matters to me.

You are reading from the book:

Days of Healing, Days of Joy by Earnie Larsen and Carol Larsen Hegarty

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October 26

Anger helps straighten out a problem like a fan helps straighten out a pile of papers.
--Susan Marcotte

Some of us have temper tantrums. Like black clouds, we threaten an outburst at any moment. Other people learn to check us out for storm warnings. They want time to clear out or at least to put on a protective covering. We've caught them by surprise before, and they didn't like it. Now they've learned to watch out - to stay on their toes when we're around. Intimidating people, making them glad when we're not around so they can relax, is a poor way to relate to others.

And what do the outbursts do for us? Is there a cheap sense of power or control for a few minutes? Are we advertising to the world that we're short on coping skills? Or do we tell ourselves that letting off steam is necessary once in a while, conveniently forgetting the steam blasting in other people's faces?

No tirade ever solved a problem. Anger is not a strategy. We don't have the right to rain on other people's parades. Our program can teach us better ways to deal with our anger - with honesty and fairness to ourselves and others.

Today, I ask my Higher Power for a peaceful and honest heart.

You are reading from the book:

Days of Healing, Days of Joy by Earnie Larsen and Carol Larsen Hegarty

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October 27

Never let your head hang down. Never give up and sit down and grieve. Find another way. And don't pray when it rains if you don't pray when the sun shines.
--Satchel Paige

When children are tired they make their feelings very clear. They just sit down and start to cry. As adults, we may sometimes feel like a child, ready to sit down and give up. But we're not tired children anymore. We're grown-ups, living with responsibilities and duties.

Instead of giving up, we need to find another way of handling responsibilities. To begin with, we can ask for help. There are others who can help with meals, family care, and household duties. We can also rearrange our schedules so we're not doing too much at one time and not enough at other times. Whenever we feel like giving up under the pressure of responsibilities, we can remember there are always solutions. Nothing is cast in stone unless we want it to be.

I can begin thinking about making changes in my responsibilities. I can ask for help and do some rearranging, so no day is overwhelming.

You are reading from the book:

Night Light by Amy E. Dean

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October 28

Reflection for the Day
So many of us suffer from despair. Yet we don't realize that despair is purely the absence of faith. As long as we're willing to turn to God for help in our difficulties, we cannot despair. When we're troubled and can't see a way out, it's only because we imagine that all solutions depend on us. The Program teaches us to let go of overwhelming problems and let God handle them for us. When I consciously surrender my will to God's will, do I see faith at work in my life?

Today I Pray
May I be free of despair and depression, those two "down D's" that are the result of feelings of helplessness. May I know that I am never without the help of God, that I am never helpless when God is with me. If I have faith, I need never be "helpless and hopeless."

Today I Will Remember
Despair is the absence of faith.

You are reading from the book:

A Day at a Time (Softcover) by Anonymous

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October 29

The fragrance always stays in the hand that gives the rose.
--Hada Bejar

Nothing is more attractive than sharing with others. No trait will be admired as much as generosity. There is no surer way to gain the respect of friends and neighbors than to show by what we give that we care about others.

We can give many things besides money, shelter, clothing, or food to those in need. We can give the rich person love and understanding that money can't buy. We can sympathize with those who are troubled, even though they appear wealthier than ourselves. We can share experience, strength, and hope with those who are ill or unhappy. We can even share our suffering with others who suffer, and hold up a light for them on the road to recovery.

What do I have to give today?

You are reading from the book:

Today's Gift by Anonymous

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October 30

You really need to take care of yourself because you won't be good for anyone else unless you take care of yourself.
-- Harry Bartholomew

Do we merely assume we are taking good care of ourselves? It's perhaps a good idea to list all the ways we think this is true. Do we get enough exercise? What is enough, anyway? Are we eating the right foods and enough of them? How about rest? Do we take naps when needed, as well as get a good night's sleep? What about laughter? Some would say there's no better elixir than a good laugh. Of course, we have to be willing to laugh at ourselves, on occasion, to make the most of it.

Taking good care of ourselves is much more in our control than we might have imagined. We are able to laugh at will and to eat what's good for us. We are also very much in control of how we feel about the circumstances of our lives. Whether we think we have it good or bad has a great deal to do with the details of each day.

We're not much fun to be around if all we do is moan and whine. Neither response ever takes good care of us. And both of them hinder the day's experiences for our companions, too.

The best thing I can do for me today is smile at my life, my friends, my remaining dreams. I can show I care.

You are reading from the book:

Keepers of the Wisdom by Karen Casey

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October 31

It's good for your heart.

"I know I've got some emotions up, just brewing right beneath the surface," Jake said one day. "I'm edgy, irritable, and definitely not centered. But I don't want to look. I don't want to go into the emotions. I don't like feelings. Whenever I give into them, I end up feeling like a piece of cooked spaghetti for days."

Emotions can take a lot out of us. Feeling them, whether it's anger, fear, or sadness, can leave us exhausted and drained.

Not feeling our emotions, however, can keep us edgy, irritable, and off-balance. Not feeling our feelings for an extended time can drive us to acting out, whether that means overeating, obsessing, staying in bed and hiding from the world, or staring at the television every night until we pass out.

Be gentle with yourself. Don't force it. But don't run away from your feelings, either. You might feel like cooked spaghetti for a while, but what's really softening up is your heart.

God, help me face and feel any feelings.

You are reading from the book:

More Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie