One Day At A Time - November

[yukonm]

November 1

ACCEPTANCE

“Acceptance is not submission; it is acknowledgement
of the facts of the situation. Then deciding what to do with it.”

Kathleen Casey Theisen



Before program I kept wishing that I had a perfect body, spouse, mother, child, or whatever. My dissatisfaction with the things in my life kept me from really accepting that things were exactly the way they were meant to be for that time. I always used the excuse, "If you had a spouse, ex-husband, mother, or whatever like I did, you’d also have to eat.” I never took responsibility for my compulsive eating and I lived in blame and guilt.

When I came into program and heard the Serenity Prayer at my first meeting, I didn’t fully understand its meaning. What I have finally come to understand is that I cannot begin to change the things within my control until I accept my powerlessness over food and over the people and circumstances in my life. I have now come to accept the fact that there are some things I cannot change, but I can change my attitude towards others. As I do so, I am learning to take responsibility for my part in the things that happen to me. What a difference that is from the past.

One day at a time ...
Only when I acknowledge and accept the reality of what is in my life, can I begin to change the things that are within my control.


~ Sharon S.

[yukonm]

November 2

~ TODAY ~

Finish each day and be done with it.
You have done what you could;
some blunders and absurdities have crept in;
forget them as soon as you can.
Tomorrow is a new day; you shall begin it serenely
and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense.


Ralph Waldo Emerson



For a long time I went through therapy, dealing with the past. But working the Steps has helped me to focus on today. What happened is over. It is my choice how I allow it to affect my life now. When I cannot seem to let the past go, I have to remind myself that I need only to let God have the past. Yesterday is beyond my ability to change. Today is my charge.

Today I write before I eat compulsively. Today I give service to others in recovery. Today I choose to not eat compulsively and to seek all the support I can find to hold to that choice. I put aside yesterday, reflecting on the lessons learned. Like a hiker looking ahead to mark the next point on the trail, I look to the future that is stretching out before me. But it is today that I act. Today I do not worry about what I have not done, but rest in the knowledge that I have done what is before me to be done. Day after day will add up to recovery, to serenity, to living.

One Day at a Time . . .
is all the time I have within my control so I choose to live in the now.

~ Tassy~

[yukonm]

November 3

~ INNER STRENGTH ~

Troubles are often the tools
by which God fashions us for better things.



H. W. Beecher



I often wondered why so much seemed to happen to me. Why was it that no sooner had I picked myself up from some trauma or tragedy than another one came along. Most people had never had car accidents, but I'd had two, one almost life-threatening. I'd been through an unpleasant divorce; I lost a brother and a stepson, both dying unnatural deaths at an early age, and could not understand why these kinds of things were always happening to me. I used to be so angry with God. "Why me?" I'd ask. It just seemed so unfair. Everybody else appeared to have lives that were so much better and free of all this trauma. For a long time I retreated into depression and food to cope with what seemed to be a miserable life.

But God must have had other plans for me. I truly believe I must have been guided to my first meeting so that I would not only find a way to live free of my compulsive eating, but would also be able to learn some lessons from my seemingly tough life. I have been very blessed in that, because of all my experiences, and the fact that I was literally brought to my knees and had to seek God out, I have learned the meaning of true spirituality. I have also learned some valuable lessons from all these experiences that have made me a much stronger person. I have so much more to offer than I would have had my life been the nice easy one I always wanted. Because of what I have learned as a result of my many struggles and difficult times, I am now able to pass on that wisdom to others on this journey of recovery.

One Day at a Time . . .
I will try to remember that when God sends me difficulties, I must view them as lessons He wants me to learn so I can become a better and more useful person.


~ Sharon S. ~

[bluidkiti]

November 4

~ SERVICE ~

When people are serving, life is no longer meaningless.



John Gardner



I used to always think that I was kind and helpful, and that I was always there for other people. Well, of course I was. I was a people-pleaser, and the payoff was to be liked. That never happened, or at least I didn't think so, and I became more resentful and full of self-pity. The truth was that I was so self-absorbed and self-seeking that I didn't know how to really be there for other people, not even my own children. I'm sure that for a long period, even though I was always doing things for them, I was emotionally absent and unavailable when they really needed me. The focus was on me and how fat I looked, or how nobody fulfilled my needs, instead of looking outside of myself to what I could REALLY do for others.

This recovery program has taught me, first and foremost, how to love myself so that I am able to love others, especially my children. I was spiritually and emotionally empty before, but now I am being constantly filled and nurtured spiritually. Now I am able to give back what has freely been given to me. I am learning for the first time the pleasure of giving of myself, of my time and my experience, strength and hope, that others may walk this beautiful road to recovery as I have. In giving what I have, I am strengthening my program and my own recovery. What a joy that has been!

One Day at a Time . . .
I remember that when I do service and give away what I have, I will experience the promises of the program on a daily basis.


~ Sharon S. ~

[bluidkiti]

November 5

~ FOCUS ON OTHERS ~

I had the blues because I had no shoes
until upon the street I met a man who had no feet.

Denis Waitely



I find that when I am stuck or feeling sorry for myself I just need to reach out and help someone who is worse off than me. When I pray for someone to help, someone always shows up. This past weekend I was feeling sorry for myself. I went to church and prayed for God to bring someone for me to help. Alas, as I walked in to school this morning I was greeted by a tearful friend whose husband was just diagnosed with lung cancer. I hugged her and told her I was there for her. It took the focus off of ME and I was able to help someone else feel better.

One day at a time . . .
Allow me to be of service to others. I need them as much as they need me.


Sue

[bluidkiti]

November 6

~ FREEDOM ~

And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.



The Bible, Book of John



In the past, when I was threatened by another person's thoughts, beliefs, actions, or desires, I simply deemed them completely unacceptable and worked hard to convince the other person just how wrong they were. I cited all kinds of religious doctrine and politically correct ideas to try to convince the other person why their ideas were unacceptable.

This "convincing" was nothing more than an attempt to control another so I wouldn't have to face myself or any of the things that caused me anxiety and fear. All I succeeded in doing was forcing others to help me lie to myself. Of course, this also created its own anxiety and fear, so I had to do something to cover it up. What did I do? I compulsively overate, I binged, I purged, I exercised, I starved myself, I abused laxatives, and on and on.

Today, because of my Higher Power and the gifts of this program, I can look at why some thoughts, feelings, beliefs and desires threaten me. I can be gentle with myself as I look at which of my "boo-boo buttons" have been pushed. I can ask myself how I've been hurt by these ideas in the past and learn how those "boo-boo buttons" were produced in the first place.

Just like a wound, exposing my hurts to the sunlight helps them heal. Bringing them out into the light helps me see all the truth about them--not just the distorted parts I felt in the darkness. I can see what my part was and I can see what the part of others may have been. Through working the Twelve Steps, I can find peace with these hurts and experience the promise of not regretting or wanting to close the door on the past.

One Day at a Time . . .
I can set myself free from the darkness by looking at past hurts in the light of truth.


~ Sandee S. ~

[bluidkiti]

November 7

FAITH

Hold faithfulness and sincerity as first principles.

Confucius (551 BC - 479 BC)





As a child, I believed in God, but the God of my childhood was a punishing God. I often felt that the reason for all the tragedies and misfortunes that I went through was because I didn't adhere to all the traditions and rules of my given religion. Perhaps the fact that I wasn't a good enough daughter to my parents, a good enough mother to my children, or a good enough friend was another reason why I was being punished. I would pray to the God of my childhood for what I wanted, but God never answered me or gave it to me, so what was the use of praying? I eventually stopped praying because my prayers were never answered.

I now know, having been led into this beautiful fellowship of the spirit, that God is a loving and forgiving God who always gave me what I needed, even if it didn't at the time seem to be what I wanted. The trouble had always been that I was filled with fear and found it hard to believe or trust in something or someone that I couldn't see or hear. I am a logical and rational person so it was really hard for me to have faith and trust that God would take care of me. It's said that the opposite of fear is faith, and so I am now learning to let go of the fear and put my faith and trust in a Higher Power of my understanding. I realize that He knows what's best for me, and will always be there for me if I only let Him.

One Day at a Time . . .
I will trust that my Higher Power knows what's best for me, and I put my myself in His care. My faith is growing stronger each day and I am able to release fear.


Faith

[bluidkiti]

November 8

~ DROWNING TROUBLES ~

You can't drown your troubles,
because trouble can swim.



Margaret Millar



My feelings have always been too large for me to handle alone. Whenever I felt troubled or had a problem too big to handle, I always turned to my friend and comforter...FOOD. This friend and I went everywhere together and with it, I figured that I could handle anything thrown at me. This friend made me feel good. I was drowning my troubles one by one.

Then someone said to me, "Don't you know that eating too much, drinking too much or even working too much won't solve your problems! Troubles usually reproduce themselves rapidly when you try to drown them."

I really didn't understand what she was trying to tell me but kept the thought tucked inside my hat. My friend food and I just kept batting these troubles deeper and deeper in my sea of tears, but sure enough, they would bounce right back up at me again later only twice as bad. What was happening? I was using my friend more each time and I began to hate it. Why was food trying to hurt me? I really thought it was my friend.

Finally, after many bruises, I realized what that person was trying to tell me. She was right. My troubles were swimming and I was drowning. I was using one of my addictions to try and fight the others, and was only going in circles. I was caught in a tidal wave and unable to get out alone. Each of my other addictions were throwing me back to my primary addiction of compulsive eating...my former friend, FOOD.

But where could I go? What could I do? The wonderful person who warned me led me to my recovery meeting and stayed with me. She helped me to find a Higher Power who was always there to help. I learned to share my experiences with my recovery family of choice. I got a wonderful sponsor who also knew me as well as I know myself. Together we looked at all the problems and troubles of the past and they weren't so heavy any more. I moved out of the deep sea that I couldn't swim in, and on dryer, more sturdy ground. What a relief!

One Day at a Time . . .
I remember that my troubles are strong and can drown me in the sea of food if I try to handle them alone. Troubles may be able to swim strongly, but they are NO MATCH for me, my Higher Power, my sponsor and Program. Together, we are strong, but alone we are weak. Together we can do what we can never do alone.


~ Jeanette ~

[bluidkiti]

November 9

~ HOPE ~

Hope is the feeling you have
that the feeling you have isn't permanent.



Jean Kerr



I pray for hope today, and I am receiving hope today. Hope is something that comes more and more readily to me as I stay abstinent and continue working my program of recovery.

In the past, many of my feelings of hope were centered around the next diet or the next fix for my bingeing. However, now that I am abstaining and practicing the Twelve Steps, I have been freed to hope for bigger things. There is now space in my head where the food and diet obsession used to be!

One Day at a Time . . .
I will abstain. One day at a time I will direct my attention to the Steps when I am in need of a solution.


~ Christine ~

[bluidkiti]

November 10

~ SELF-WILL ~

Our whole trouble has been the misuse of willpower.
We had tried to bombard our problems with it
instead of attempting to bring it into agreement with God's intention for us.



The AA Twelve and Twelve



I want the answers to all my questions and the solutions to all of my problems RIGHT NOW. Furthermore, I want to tell my Higher Power what I want those answers and solutions to be. I think I know what's best for me and what will bring long-lasting peace and serenity to my life.

My self-will has gotten me hurt and possibly caused me to hurt others. It has convinced me I could do things my way and everything would be just fine. My self-will has helped me lie to myself about my disease of compulsive overeating, anorexia, or bulimia; it has convinced me that darkness was light and that I should have what I want exactly when I want it.

How grateful I am that my Higher Power loves me enough to not take my advice! How grateful I am that, after I've plunged head-first into the same wall at least one hundred times as I tried to force my own answers and solutions, my Higher Power is waiting patiently to bless me by leading me where He would have me go. How grateful I am that I don't have to run into the wall of my self-will as often or as hard as I once did. One day, maybe I won't run into it at all.

One Day at a Time . . .
I can let go of self-will and remember that the Third Step says we "made a decision to turn our will and our lives over the the care of God as we understood Him." The care of God ... God can take better care of me than I can of myself.


~ Sandee ~

[bluidkiti]

November 11

Humor

Don't take yourself too damned seriously.

Rule #62, AA's Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions



In the years of my existence, before I got into recovery, I would run from one self-important crisis to another. Everything was so important, so heavy! What laughter there was ended up directed derisively at others. I treated my life with self-importance and pomposity.

It took sitting in the rooms, day after day and night after night, listening to how recovering people were able to laugh at themselves. Oh, they were deadly serious when it came to working the Steps and the traditions. After all, if not for them, they'd be dead or crazy. But as they would share things where they had shown the heavy-does-it attitude, they would see the folly of their ways and start a good belly laugh that would cascade through the room and have us all wiping our eyes.

As I work my program, I realize that there are some things that need more prayer and meditation than others. Then there are those things in my life that, under the light of my recovery, are just plain flat-out silly. My Higher Power gives me the ability to cry and grieve where appropriate. My Higher Power also has taught me that laughter, indeed, is often the best medicine.

One day at a time ....
I learn that healthy laughter is just as important to my recovery as are the healthy tears.


~ Mark Y.

[bluidkiti]

November 12

~ Hitting Bottom ~

My life closed twice before its close.

Emily Dickinson



Doesn't every addict, sooner or later, face some kind of incomprehensible end to something they hold dear, all because of their addiction?

I certainly did. In my late thirties, in the plum Ivy League job that was the envy of all those I'd gone to graduate school with, I was fired. The fact was, though I'd tried to put a good face on it, I was up to my eyebrows in my disease of compulsive overeating and was consequently seriously depressed. Or was I seriously depressed and consequently...?

No matter. I had been in a hole the width and depth of which I could not overcome. Day after day I would sit in my office with the door closed, work piled on my desk, unable to make headway. I had done this for over a year. Then the ax fell, and there I was, a depressed, overweight workaholic without work.

Fortunately for me, by this time I had already found program, and although I was a newcomer of only six months, I knew enough that I was lucky to have lost my job. Although I would never have quit it, it would have eventually led to the loss of my health and sanity, what was left of them. I was in that important and prestigious job for all the wrong reasons, but mainly as a balm to my tiny and broken self-esteem.

The fact was, the healing for my self-loathing wasn't in a fancy title or professional honors. It was in the spiritual life and the recovery of mind, body, heart, and spirit that I found in program.

I learned for myself that hitting bottom is not the end. I let my Higher Power into my life, and it was the beginning of a more honest and worthy way of living.

One day at a time... . . .
I turn my life over to my Higher Power to make of it what She will. It makes every day a good day.


~ Roberta ~

[bluidkiti]

November 13

~ GRATITUDE ~

It is good to say thank you to the Lord, to sing
praises to the God who is above all gods ... He is my
shelter. There is nothing but goodness in Him!


The Bible, Book of Psalms



Since I first walked into these rooms, I was welcomed with open arms. Everyone said, "Welcome home." In my gut I felt welcomed into the fellowship, but only now, after years of accepting it, do I finally get it.

Who is this God everyone is saying cares about us? I felt God was too busy creating and managing the universe to concentrate on any one individual, let alone each and every one of us. Now, I don't know how anyone else acted while in the clutches of their disease, but I do know how I reacted. I was not a very nice person to be around. If you said the sky was blue, I would say it was black. Nothing was right in my world and I refused to trust anyone or anything; I was rebellious. That is how I treated God! I dared God to fix me, to take away my desire for food, to come into my life so I would know it.

Well, people told me God meets you where you are. I learned the hard way that God does reveal Himself to you in whatever way works for you. For me that has been by learning to listen to people share in meetings and verbally state what God has been trying to get through my thick skull. When I read program literature, I hear little voices of recovering people speak of how God is doing for them what they couldn't do for themselves. I watch people in recovery living a new kind of life, in which they are participants. I learn from them how to live rather then bouncing off the walls because I only reacted to life. I am beginning to see all the little things that I have been given from God through my interactions with fellow compulsive overeaters. My soul feels welcomed in this fellowship. I feel I have a new family in which to heal my wounds from my family of origin. I am filled with immense gratitude to a God that cares enough about each and everyone of us.

One day at a time... . . .
I will stop and take inventory of all the blessings I receive, each and every day, from a loving, supportive fellowship and a God of my understanding who loves me enough to put up with all my baggage.

A fellow traveler


Judith

[bluidkiti]

November 14

~ Contentment ~

Everything has its wonders, even darkness and silence, and I learn, whatever state I may be in, therein to be content.



Helen Keller



I spent most of my life dreaming and wishing for the stars, always hoping that something wonderful would happen to change my life. If only my mother were more loving; if only I had more friends; if only I had a better husband or smarter children; and, more especially, if only I were thin. I was never satisfied with what I had because someone else always seemed to be better off than me. It was like I was always being short-changed in life, and what expectations I had had as a child just didn't materialize. I never realized that what I had was exactly what I needed at the time, even though it may not have seemed to be what I wanted.

I know now that, even though I may have less than a perfect life, I have many wonderful things. I have so much more than many others, and instead seeing my cup as half-empty, I can now see it as half-full. I can see the miracle of the changing seasons, the beauty of a sunset and the changing moods of the sea. I can hear the beautiful music that feeds my soul, a baby's cry and the crash of thunder. I am surrounded by loving friends and family who care for me as I care for them. I can look at those less fortunate than me and know that I am truly blessed. More and more I am becoming aware that I have exactly what I need for today, and in that I am content.

One Day at a Time . . .
I am content knowing that I have many blessings in my life ... may I always be willing to see that.


~ Sharon S. ~

[bluidkiti]

November 15

STEP TWO

"The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again
and expecting a different result."

Henry Wadsworth Longfellow



While in the grip of my disease I tried many things to deal with my compulsive overeating. I tried many, many diets, fasting, exercise programs, treatment, therapy, church and even resorted to weight loss surgery. I did the same thing over and over again – I tried outward solutions to fix an inward problem. And the sad thing was I somehow thought that I would get different results: a permanent change of my compulsive overeating. But it did not work that way. It was acting with insanity. I was frustrated and very, very sad. All along, I knew there was something wrong with me, that I was not “normal”, but I didn’t know what to do about it.

Then the blessing of the program came to me. I learned about Step Two: “Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.” I came to believe that was true. I finally was doing something different. Never before had I approached my compulsive overeating on three levels all at the same time. I had never seen my disease as a physical, emotional and spiritual disease that needed addressing at the same time, one day at a time. I began to slowly learn how to do this through the steps and the tools, with the help of sponsors and friends in the program. I found myself doing something different and getting different results. I found my sanity returning, piece by piece.


One Day at a Time . . .
I will do something different, knowing I will get different results.

~ Carolyn

[yukonm]

November 16
HONESTY
"Whatever games are played with us,
we must play no games with ourselves,
but deal in our privacy with the last honesty and truth."
Ralph Waldo Emerson


When I began to study step one in OA I learned that the principle behind the step was honesty. That was difficult for me because I had spent so much time lying to myself and others about my eating. I was so ashamed of my eating habits and behaviors that when asked about them, it never occurred to me to tell the truth. I couldn't conceive of being accepted, or even cared for, if anyone knew the truth.

Then I came into the program and began to hear people share. The denial and shell of lies began to melt. For the first time I found myself in a fellowship where I felt like I could tell the truth because I was surrounded by people whose stories were similar to mine. Most importantly, the people in the fellowship loved me and cared for me when I told my truth, no matter how ugly it seemed to me. I call this the magic of the fellowship. It makes me want to be that kind of loving, caring person for the newcomer taking his or her first step.

One day at a time...
I will honestly confront the reality of my compulsive eating, knowing that I am in a fellowship where I am unconditionally loved and cared for.


~ Carolyn H.

[bluidkiti]

November 17

~ Aging ~

Those who love deeply never grow old;
they may die of old age, but they die young.

Benjamin Franklin



I used to be afraid of getting older. I was also afraid to become friends with older people, because I would come to love them and then they would die. I could not handle unpleasant feelings (other than if I overate to stop feeling them) because the feeling of unpleasantness would totally devastate me.


In working the Twelve Step program, my Higher Power has brought me great recovery in this area ... I am now able to handle the grief and sorrow that come up when I allow myself to get to know and love older people and then they die. I am now free in this area! I get to enjoy the wisdom and beauty that they have to share, from all their life experiences, and from the beautiful people they are!


Another beautiful gift from my Higher Power came when I started relating to older people again. When the first one died, it really threw me, and I was very sad. But I got up the next day and had a great spiritual awakening: this person was missing and that was sad, but I looked around and saw all the other wonderful people still there in my life, with whom I got to share another day! Life suddenly became much more precious to me ... to have one more day to be with and share with someone who touches my soul!


One Day at a Time . . .
I enjoy myself as I become older. I allow myself to enjoy friendships with those who are older than me. I thank my Higher Power for every day and every moment of precious life!

~ Lynne ~

[bluidkiti]

November 18

~ HONESTY ~

You never find yourself until you face the truth.



Pearl Bailey



I was brought up to be scrupulously honest, or so I thought. I still remember how my father would go back into a shop if he'd been given too much change, a practice that I adopted too. I found it hard to tell a lie, even a white lie, and I would never contemplate cheating on a test. But when it came to food, I only realized later, I was totally dishonest. I was even dishonest when it came to telling people how I felt, or for that matter who I really was. The person who did these things was a totally different person to the upright person I liked people to see.

I know now that all the things I'd hidden around food were obviously what I felt ashamed about. I wanted people to see only the "good" side of me and not the person who did all these devious things in secret. I kept thinking that I was a bad person and the shame stopped me from being totally honest about what I had been doing.

It has taken time, and the love and acceptance I have found in the fellowship, to be able to get totally honest with myself. It has taken time to look at all the things about me that I felt ashamed of. In the housecleaning necessary in the Steps, I have been able to face my shame. I learned that I am human, and that I have a disease. Some of the soul searching has been very painful, but at the same time it has been totally enlightening. I am amazed how I am beginning to know a new me, with faults and all, but a loveable me nevertheless. As I peel off more layers of the onion that represents the sum total of what makes me unique and truly one of God's creatures, I am actually beginning to like the new me. I know now that I am not a bad person trying to get good, merely a sick person trying to get well.

One Day at a Time . . .
I will keep being honest about who I am, what I eat and how I am behaving in my relationships, so I can learn more about me. Even when I don't like what I see, I know I am still a lovable person and a child of God, created in His image.


~ Sharon S. ~

[bluidkiti]

November 19

THE PROMISES

“We will intuitively know how to handle situations
which used to baffle us. We will suddenly realize that
God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves.”
The Big Book


When I first came into program and heard these words I couldn't grasp their meaning. Life baffled me. I had no idea who I was or what I was doing. I was completely in the grip of this disease. I felt like I was the disease. Why would God do anything for me?

Initially I thought these people were crazy and even worse off than I was. My opinion soon changed when I noticed wonderful differences between them and myself. They seemed calmer, verbalized their feelings more clearly, appeared to have their act together, and seemed to enjoy life. I was hooked! I wanted what they had. I finally wanted to want to live. I was drawn to those who demonstrated traits I wanted to have. I talked to them and listened when they shared. I asked them how to work the program and how to find my Higher Power. I started working the Steps. I began my search for a God I could relate to. I found online recovery loops and people who shared how they worked their program.

Then I had a crisis develop which almost overwhelmed me. Yet as I read the Big Book, I realized that the promises God had given to the other program people were given to me too. I had been so busy working this program that I needed to pause and examine all I had received. Yes, it does work when you work it. I proved it to myself by allowing God to prove it to me.

One Day at a Time . . .
I will remember that the promises really are for everyone and that they come into my life as I work my program to the best of my ability.


~ Judith A.

[bluidkiti]

November 20

~ PATIENCE ~

Patience is the key to paradise.



Turkish proverb



I used to be the queen of the "quick fix." Anything I wanted done had to be done today, if not yesterday. I'd even do a job myself because I couldn't wait for someone else to do it in their time. I ended up chasing my tail most days, and trying to run the show myself, simply because I couldn't wait. Even all the many diets that I went on had to get results fast or they weren't worth their salt. Small wonder, being the compulsive person that I was, that when I wanted to eat, there was no such thing in my vocabulary as delayed gratification. When I wanted it, I had to have it right then.

Imagine my horror at coming into the program and seeing that people who had been in the fellowship for years were still there. Surely they should have gotten it right by now and graduated from this program. But I soon learned that this is not something we graduate from. Recovery and abstinence happen in God's time, not mine. I've had to learn that this a journey. Progress can sometimes be painfully slow, but the rewards for those who wait for the miracle is a gift I wouldn't want to be without. Not only am I offered freedom from compulsive eating, but also sanity and serenity to live my life the way I was intended to do.

One Day at a Time . . .
Even when progress seems slow, I will keep coming back and working the program to the best of my ability, knowing that recovery will come to me if I wait.


~ Sharon S. ~

[bluidkiti]

November 21

~ WILLINGNESS ~

If you have decided you want what we have
and are willing to go to any length to get it
then you are ready to take certain steps.



Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous



Willingness was one of the hardest concepts to get through my disease thinking. I was only willing to have my disease cured so I could continue indulging in my allergic substances of choice. According to the dictionary, the definition of will is "the power of choosing what one will do" and "willing, favorably inclined; ready." My disease was in control and chose for me.

I didn't want to stay stuck in the food. Then I found this program. Still, I had trouble with the concept of willingness. Then I relapsed, but the food didn't cure anything. This program, like the Big Book says, had ruined it for me. So, when I found some online recovery loops I found renewed hope. Hope led me to learning about willingness from others' sharing. Then I figured, ok God, I don't want to give up the allergic substances, they are too strongly embedded in my fibers, but I am willing to ask You to grant me the willingness to let go of those substances that aren't healthy for me.

I kept up this prayer for weeks. One day I discovered that it had been a week since I had thought about or eaten one of those allergic substances. I figured this must be what was meant by God doing for me what I can't do for myself. So I changed my prayer and asked God to keep making me willing, just for today, to go without those foods. It is working, not because of me, but because I was finally ready to ask for willingness. As the saying goes, "Try it, you'll like it!" I tried it and I liked the results... A God-given abstinence. Now, as I go about my day, it's becoming easier to be willing to turn more and more of my will over to the God of my understanding.

One Day at a Time . . .
I will go to the God of my understanding and ask for the willingness to live according to His will for me; so that I may have a life, and not self-will run riot.


Judy

[bluidkiti]

November 22

~ FAMILY ~

Call it a clan, call it a network, call it a tribe, call it a family:
Whatever you call it, whoever you are, you need one.



Jane Howard
(from the book "The Simple Abundance Journal of
Gratitude" by Sarah Ban Breathnach)



As an only child of parents who immigrated and left their own families behind, I have always felt that I was missing out on the great wealth of sharing and caring that I saw other people have in their families. That was before recovery.

Today, I have an extended family -- not only by marriage -- but by the simple fact that my Higher Power led me to the great wealth of caring and sharing that I have found in perhaps the strangest place of all -- cyberspace -- in the form of online recovery loops.

Being prone to isolation, my disease first led me to seek out others who have struggled with compulsive overeating, and that, in turn, led me to my new 'family.' As someone so wonderfully expressed it to me recently, it's a "family of choice." What a concept! My family of choice not only has sisters and brothers, it also is filled with mothers and fathers, aunts and uncles -- more than I could ever have dreamed of before, and each brings into my life more experience, strength and hope than I could ever have imagined.

One Day at a Time . . .
I thank God that I have found this huge, loving family that constantly offers me hope, inspiration, understanding ... and most of all love.


Lorraine

[bluidkiti]

November 23

~ Successful Recovery ~

I always remember an epitaph which is in the cemetery
at Tombstone, Arizona. It says: 'Here lies Jack
Williams. He done his damnedest.' I think that is
the greatest epitaph a man can have.


Harry S. Truman




No matter what their drug of choice, compulsives all have one thing in common. If we don't practice our program, we run the risk of relapsing back into the disease.

What separates those who find recovery and those who don't is this: those who don't find recovery slip and fall, and don't get up again. They figure, "I've already relapsed, so why not just continue using my drug of choice? Why not wallow in my disease?"

Those who recover are like Jack Williams...they do their damnedest. They continue to read program literature, they continue to do service, they continue to reach out to others and to their Higher Power. The winners in this program don't wallow...they pick themselves up, dust themselves off, and keep on keeping on.

One day at a time... . . .
I will do my damnedest. I will work my program to the best of my ability, and if I fall, I won't stay down.


Jeff

[bluidkiti]

November 24

~ Gratitude ~

If the only prayer you said in your whole life
was, "Thank you," that would suffice.



Meister Eckhart



I spent most of my life blaming my circumstances and those around me for the way I felt, for my eating problem and for my terrible life in general. There was nothing good in my life at all and I viewed everything through a dark cloud of negativity. I couldn't see anything good in my life, and life became totally unbearable. Poor me, I thought. It really wasn't fair that I had been made to suffer the way I had, and I felt awash with self pity. The more sorry I felt for myself, the more I ate, and the more I ate, the worse I felt; it became a vicious circle.

When I was brought to my knees by this disease and came into the fellowship, I was forced to take stock and look honestly at my life. For the first time ever I considered the losses and difficult situations in my life that I had perceived as unfair and negative. In each case there had been amazing gains. For example, the car accident I'd been in hadn't been my fault at all. In fact, it became the catalyst that enabled me to change careers. One of the bereavements that I had brought a wonderful and special friend into my life. And so it went. Before, I had bemoaned my fate as a compulsive overeater. Now, I am actually grateful to be a compulsive overeater, because without my disease I never would have a wonderful program that helps me to live my life sanely and serenely, nor would I have all the very special people who love and support me through thick and thin.

One Day at a Time . . .
I am grateful for all the wonderful miracles that have happened in my life as a result of this program ... may I never forget to thank my Higher Power for all these wonderful blessings.


~ Sharon S. ~

[bluidkiti]

November 25

~ CHOICE ~

The strongest principle of growth lies in human choice.


George Eliot



I spent most of my life blaming others for my woes and the fact that I was a compulsive overeater. I thought, "If you had had a mother like I did, an ex-husband or a tough life like mine, you would also have turned to food for comfort or to block all the painful feelings." I was sure that had I had an easier life like I perceived others to have, I wouldn't have had to do the things around food that I did. I never took responsibility for my part in all this because, in truth, I was the one who chose to react to my life in that way. Nobody forced me to behave the way I did and nobody held me down and forced food into my mouth.

I never used to realize that I do have choices in life. I can choose not to eat foods that are harmful to me; I can choose not to surround myself with unhealthy relationships; I can choose not to let other people's problems become my own; in fact, I have choices in most things that I do. I can choose to have a more positive attitude today, instead of focusing on all the negatives. I do not have to react to life's adversities with destructive behaviors. I can choose to be active in my life rather than being reactive, like a sailing ship in a stormy sea that is totally at the mercy of the weather. I can choose to seize life with both hands and live it the best I know how.

One day at a time... . . .
Today I choose to work this program of recovery knowing that, even with life's difficulties, the promises of the program will come true in my life, and I will know serenity and peace.



Sharon S.

[yukonm]

Tammy.

I have my laptop back so will post after the 25th. Thank you so much for all you do!! :42:

[yukonm]

November 26

VISION

“The greatest tragedy in life
is people who have sight but no vision.”
Helen Keller




The miracle of recovery has given me new vision! I lived for many years with eyes that viewed the world through fear, pain and resentment. These were the factors that shaded the lenses of my eyes. Because they clouded my entire perspective, they prevented me from seeing reality as it was. Instead, I lived in fear of the distorted realities of my world.

When I took my Fourth Step I began to see with new vision and clarity. It was amazing for me to realize how skewed my perception of life had been all those years. I discovered that my vision hadn’t been focused on the truth! The shades of this illness had cast many shadows upon reality and I had spent my life reacting to those shadows instead of responding to life.

I had years of experience looking at the world through illness, and I was not sure if I could really keep this new vision which was promised through recovery. I was a little worried that it would soon fade away into those old shadows … as had happened in other awakenings I had experienced.

As I continued to take the Steps, I found that my new vision not only remained, but grew broader and deeper every day. As I continue to work a daily Tenth, Eleventh and Twelfth Step and to practice these principles in all aspects of my life, I continue to celebrate life with the vision that recovery brings. This vision is one of deep joy, gratitude, serenity, and love!

One day at a time... .. . .
I will practice the Steps of recovery in all aspects of my life and I will continue to receive and share the gift of vision that recovery brings.


Cate

[yukonm]

November 27

~ NEW BEGINNINGS ~

There will come a time when you believe everything is finished.
That will be the beginning.



Louis L'Amour



During my life I've always found it hard to start anything. I don't know whether it comes from being a compulsive overeater, but I do know that I took my time in starting a recovery program. Maybe it was a fear that, if I didn't succeed, I could never start over.

Luckily, this is a very forgiving program. If I slip, I can get up and start over. I don't have to stay down. In fact, I can be down, but I can never be counted out, because all I need to do is begin again. My Higher Power helps me stay on track, and it comforts me to know that, if I fall, I can be picked up and allowed to continue my journey to recovery.

One day at a time . . .
I will remain "higher powered" and start over if I need to.


Jeff

[yukonm]

November 28

~ GOODNESS ~

Above all, let us never forget that an act of goodness
is in itself an act of happiness.

Count Maurice Maeterlinck



While in the disease, most of the goodness I tried to do was for ulterior motives. It was only in recovery that I learned to give unselfishly and without strings to help another. In doing so, I have found happiness beyond measure. I can create my own happiness in the service of my Higher Power and other compulsive overeaters. I can make the promise of a "new happiness and a new freedom" come true.

One Day at a Time . . .
I will do acts of goodness.

~ Judy N. ~

[yukonm]

November 29

To Thine Own Self Be True

“Hide not your talents, they for use were made.
What’s a sun-dial in the shade?”
Benjamin Franklin


In the cups of my illness I was a chameleon and people-pleaser. I was afraid to stand on my own opinions and be myself. My fear of rejection kept me always looking for ways to fit in. I was running from life because I was afraid that I would be found to be a fraud and a compulsive eater. I played dumb in school and with my friends. I was afraid to be smart. I was afraid to have differing opinions. Shame kept me hiding inside of myself and inside of my suit of fat. I was afraid to be me.

Since coming to the program I am learning more each day that it is okay for me to be me. It is more than okay; it is essential. I can spread my wings and let myself out of my self-imposed cage ~ and I can go for a flight gliding on the breeze with ease. My first steps were wobbly, but this program promises me that the sunlight is there and it is okay to come out of the shade and be whom I really am. I have something to offer the world. We all do. It is up to us to find it in our deepest heart’s desire.

One day at a time...
I can take one small step to match my insides to my outsides.

~ Lanaya

[yukonm]

November 30

BOUNDARIES

People are lonely because they build walls instead of bridges.



Joseph Fort Newton



When I was growing up I remember always being lonely and I never had many friends. In order to protect myself from the pain of rejection, or perhaps because I didn't have self-esteem or believe in myself, I gave the impression that I didn't need people. I was probably thought of as a snob. I thought that people didn't like me because I was shy and introverted, but I had built up around myself an impenetrable protective wall which didn't invite anyone in. It was small wonder that I spent many lonely nights buried in a book or food or any other solitary pursuit for that matter.

In my adult years I became a people-pleaser in the hopes that people would like me more. That even spilled over to include my children as well, which meant that I wasn't able to say no to them or anyone else unless they stopped loving me. I would say yes when I really meant no, and consequently I was always filled with resentment and felt even lonelier than ever. I didn't know how to set boundaries and was terrified that if I said no, people wouldn't love me anymore.

I now know that when I set boundaries, it is an affirmation of my worth, and in most cases I am respected and liked by those people who are really my true friends. My children, too, have benefitted from my having set boundaries with them, and they have more respect for me than before. I am beginning to realize that it is just fine to do what is right for me, and that it doesn't have to jeopardize any of my relationships.

One day at a time . . .
I am learning that it is right for me
to define my boundaries with those that I love,
knowing that I set these boundaries in love and friendship,
rather than hostility, and that I am still a lovable person.


Sharon S.