Today's Thought - May

[bluidkiti]

May 1

A man is what he thinks about all day long.
--Ralph Waldo Emerson

This is true for women too. We sure learned that about our disease as well. It kept us thinking about alcohol or drugs all day every day until we could think of little else. Finally we became addicts, gobbled up by our all-consuming thoughts and cravings.

Now in recovery, we can be something else. We are becoming free of our addiction, and our minds can think about other things. What do we want to think about? What do we want to be?

It's easy to let the noise around us tell us what to think about. At the end of the day, we can end up feeling out of touch with who we are. We've been giving our minds to whatever is on the radio, television, or the gossip grapevine at work or school. That's why it's good to spend part of each day thinking about things we truly think are important and worthwhile.

Prayer for the Day

Higher Power, help me understand that what I do with my mind and my time is important. What I do with my mind is my inner life. What I do with my time is my outer life. Together they define who I am.

Today's Action

I will think about the way I use my mind and my time today. What feels good and fits for me? Is there anything I want to do differently tomorrow?

You are reading from the book:

God Grant Me... by Anonymous

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May 2

The gifts we receive are meant to be shared.

Thanks to the progress I am making in recovery, I like to think I am more loving, more open, more spontaneous, more confident. I believe these gifts have come to me through my Higher Power, the Twelve Steps, and the friends who have helped me grow.

If I am to keep the gifts, I must share them. They are mine as long as I give them away. To do that I need to realize we're all working toward a similar goal: that of developing our potential and becoming who we are meant to be. We help each other toward this goal by sharing our experience, strength, and hope.

Close, warm, loving contacts with my family and friends are what feed my heart and spirit and fill the inner emptiness. When I am willing to share the gifts I have received, I always have enough, because what I give comes back to me.

I will take advantage of today's opportunities for caring and sharing, remembering that my recovery depends not on what I have but on what I give.

You are reading from the book:

Inner Harvest by Elisabeth L.

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May 3

We can practice forgiveness each day.

Resentments have a way of creeping back into my psyche even after I have let go of them. I know that holding a grudge is harmful to my emotional health and can threaten my abstinence, but what can I do when I keep feeling anger toward someone?

In the interest of recovery, in my own best interest, I can continue to forgive each day. I may not be able to forgive the person once and for all, but I can do it right now, just for today. With practice, who knows? Perhaps the resentment will disappear.

When I remember that my own track record is far from perfect, I realize I could use some daily forgiveness too, both from others and from myself.

Just for now, I can let go of resentments and forgive. If resentments come back, I can forgive again.

You are reading from the book:

Inner Harvest by Elisabeth L.

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May 4

I hope I shall follow firmness of virtue enough to maintain that I consider the most enviable of all titles - the character of an honest man.
--George Washington

Happiness in recovery and in society depends on our honesty. We create pain for others, and ourselves, when we are dishonest. True honesty begins within each of us and flows out to touch those around us. If we are to be true to society, and to ourselves, we cannot feel one thing in our hearts and outwardly speak different views.

There is no such thing as too much honesty. When we practice honesty in all our affairs, we discover that the reason for being honest is not because it is expected of us, but because we find that honesty avoids problems and makes our life happier.

When I am honest with myself and others, I am making progress toward greatness of character.

You are reading from the book:

Easy Does It by Anonymous

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May 5

Whatever you can do or dream you can do, begin it.
--Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe

Newcomer

I signed up to take a course in something I'm kind of interested in. I'm pretty anxious about it. I don't have the skills and experience that the other students have. I don't know if I can keep up with the work and still go to enough meetings. And even if I get through it, I doubt that I can afford to go further.

Sponsor

First, let me congratulate you for the courage and self-esteem it took for you to begin something new in recovery. Recovery is not an end in itself; as we frequently hear in meetings, it's a bridge back to life. Education is a path that beckons many recovering people. Taking just one step, like signing up for a course, furthers you on your journey.

At the same time, you'll want to take care to protect your recovery as you engage in new pursuits. Staying close to the program by going to regular and frequent meetings is still the top priority for anyone who doesn't want to relapse. The work we do to maintain our recovery is what makes everything else possible.

As for your doubts and fears, it's natural for them to come up. Instead of giving them too much attention, you can use this opportunity to calm and center yourself with meditation and to ask in prayer for help and courage in carrying out your Higher Power's will for you.

Today, I take a small step forward on my journey, without judging myself or my rate of progress.

You are reading from the book:

If You Want What We Have by Joan Larkin

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May 6

Three grand essentials to happiness in this life are something to do, something to love, and something to hope for.
--Joseph Addison

Having someone to bestow our love on - a child, friend, or lover, perhaps a pet - will provide us with a time each day for intimacy, a time for sharing affection, a time, which assures us our presence is counted on.

But having someone to love is not all we need for happiness. We must have dreams for the future, reasons for getting out of bed in the present, and the well-earned glow that accompanies past achievements. Dreams lose their glamour if that's all we have. If the reasons for rising don't excite us any longer, or the achievements ring hollow, we'll not come to know the happiness for which we've been created.

Happiness is our birthright so long as we live fully and love truly.

You are reading from the book:

Worthy of Love by Karen Casey

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May 7

A man takes a drink, the drink takes another, and the drink takes the man.
-- Proverb

Newcomer

I've heard Alcoholics Anonymous members say, "It's the first drink that gets you drunk," and Overeaters Anonymous members say, "Don't take that first compulsive bite." It seems a little extreme. Don't Twelve Step programs allow for the possibility of doing things in moderation?

Sponsor

There are numerous stories of addicted people who started with the idea that they'd have "just one" of whatever it was. Hours, days, or weeks later, they were still in the middle of a binge. Most of us, when we were active in our addictions, promised ourselves repeatedly that we'd be moderate, though we'd already accumulated plenty of evidence that we lacked the desire and the capacity for moderation. Once we started using, no matter how seemingly insignificant the beginning, we were under the control of our addiction. We experienced a craving that no quantity of a drug or repetition of an addictive behavior could satisfy.

There are people who can do in moderation what people filling the seats at meetings couldn't stop doing, once they started. But we are not those people.

Today, I'm strengthened by accepting my need to take special measures to protect my health and recovery.

You are reading from the book:

If You Want What We Have by Joan Larkin

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May 8

"Depressions are transition times for me," an older fellow stated. "I look at my lows as a preparation period, an inner time to grow and change even though I'm not consciously aware of what's going on inside me. But I didn't always think this way.

"I used to get terrified when I got into one of those low periods. Every time I did, I questioned everything I ever believed in. I doubted myself and my abilities, my opinions and values, my friends and my boss. Nothing escaped my painful questioning. I thought for sure I was going insane. The pain was so unbearable I wanted to drink, work harder, anything, to distract me from my anguish.

"Now when I get low, I take it more in stride. I think of my depression as part of a natural cycle. Just as nature has its fall, winter, and spring, I, too, have a period of shedding old growth for new growth. I just endure my grey days knowing the sun will shine again just as the trees will bloom after winter. As part of the natural world around me, I, too, have my seasons of joy and sorrow."

Today I will remember that my lows are as natural as my highs. I will not become overwhelmed and exaggerate the significance of my depressions. I will endure patiently, knowing that whatever faces me will pass in time.

You are reading from the book:

The Reflecting Pond by Liane Cordes

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May 9

Treat your friends as you would a bank account - refrain from drawing too heavily on either.
--Samuel Johnson

"You know," somebody admitted, "I've never really allowed myself to have good friends.

"I always put myself in two extreme roles. Either I think it's my duty to 'save' everyone, or I think it's someone else's function to 'save' me. I set myself up for very dissatisfactory relationships that way. I don't grow very much nor do the people I'm involved with grow much. We get locked into Parent-Child, Teacher-Student, and Counselor-Client kinds of roles.

"I'm tired of empty and lopsided friendships. I want good friends, not parasites or Messiahs running my life. I want friends I can just be me with and not worry whether I'm one-up or one-down on them. I want friends who will accept me as I am and not expect me to have all the answers for all the questions all the time."

TODAY I will examine what I expect of myself and my friendships. As a friend, do I expect myself to give all the advice and have all the answers? Do I expect my friends to take care of me, and give me all the answers? If my friendships are not satisfactory, I will work on enlarging my concept of what a friend is. I will also work on improving the quality of my own friendship.

You are reading from the book:

The Reflecting Pond by Liane Cordes

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May 10

We.
-- First word of the Twelve Steps

We. This little word says a lot about the Twelve Steps. Our addiction made us lonely. The "we" of the program makes us whole again. It makes us a member of a loving, growing group of people.

Our addiction isolated us from others. We couldn't be honest. We felt a lot of shame. But all this is in the past. The "we" of the program helps us live outside ourselves. Now we tell each other about our pasts. We comfort each other. We try to help each other.

Prayer for the Day

Higher Power, help me to join the we of the program. Help me to admit and accept my illness, so the healing can begin.

Action for the Day

Today, I'll work to make the we of the program even stronger. I'll find someone to help.

You are reading from the book:

Keep It Simple by Anonymous

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May 11

There's too much confusion here, I can't get no relief.
--Bob Dylan

Addiction is like the maze in a carnival fun house - no matter, which way we turn; we seem to run into blank walls. We used to run from our problems. We didn't take the time to reason things through and look for solutions. We escaped and hoped our problems would take care of themselves. They didn't.

What can we do when we are lost in the maze of our own pain? Ask for help.

If the first person we ask doesn't hear us, we need to keep asking. We then need to take the next step, which is to accept the help we're given.

Holding the hand of another human being is the way out of our maze.

Today let me not be too proud to reach out when I'm hurting.

You are reading from the book:

Our Best Days by Nancy Hull-Mast

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May 12

Success is just a matter of luck. Ask any failure.
--Edmund Wilson

Jim worked very hard all day cleaning cars in a drive-through car wash. He used to have a better job, but he wanted to start a new life so he took what he could get until something better came along. When he got paid, he showed his unemployed brother the check and the brother said, "God, I wish I were you - I'm flat busted! You're so lucky you got some money!"

Often when we're feeling sorry for ourselves, it's because we aren't willing to change the things we can. Jim didn't get money because he was lucky - he got it because he changed himself. He changed his attitude from "working in a car wash is degrading" to "I'm proud to take responsibility for myself."

Today, let me change the things I can and turn self-pity into self-determination.

You are reading from the book:

Our Best Days by Nancy Hull-Mast

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May 13

A mother is not a person to lean on, but a person to make leaning unnecessary.
--Dorothy Canfield Fisher

A strong, healthy tree is one which is free to grow straight and tall. A weak tree often must lean against another for support. It is not that different with people. We are not healthy and strong when we must always lean on another to support us.

This doesn't mean it isn't healthy to accept help. But the best help we can get or give is that which enables us to do things without it. Sometimes we think we lose a relationship when others don't need our help, or when we don't need theirs all the time. The reverse is true. Only when we are each strong enough to stand on our own can we really share the kind of help, which allows both the helped and the helper to be independent.

Have I been giving the right kind of help?

You are reading from the book:

Today's Gift by Anonymous

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May 14

Nature is the Art of God.
--Sir Thomas Browne

The most relaxing activities may be the ones in which we do absolutely nothing. And if we can do nothing amid the sounds of nature - birds chirping, water bubbling in a brook, the wind rustling in the trees - so much the better. During these moments, away from the noise and chaos of our fast-paced, stress-filled lives, we commune most directly with nature and our Higher Power. Without distraction, our bodies can totally relax; there is no danger, no need to be ready to respond to anything. All we have to do is be.

If we live in the city, we can take refuge in its parks, a quiet room, or the library. We can listen to the sounds of nature on records or cassette tapes. The point is to slow down, to smell and taste the rain, to hear the chirping of crickets and the rustling of leaves and our own thoughts. When we remember nature, we remember - our bodies remember - that we are a part of nature, part of something greater than ourselves.

Today help me hear the sounds of nature and let them comfort and heal me.

You are reading from the book:

Body, Mind, and Spirit by Anonymous

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May 15

If one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours.
--Henry David Thoreau

Recently a filmmaker friend approached me with good news. He had just received a grant to do a documentary. "I can't believe it," he said. "I'm finally getting paid for my work. I can't believe how lucky I am to be doing this."

After our conversation, I thought: "This person believes that he is earning a living in spite of doing what he loves; but the reality is just the opposite. It is because he is following his passion that he prospers. As he aligns himself with his higher purpose, the Universe cannot help but make straight, smooth, and perfect his way."

People who say, "Be practical," don't realize that following your heart is the most practical thing one can do. There is no greater way to ensure success than being true to who you are. On the other hand, there is nothing more likely to block that success than turning away from your calling. Living at cross-purposes with your true nature creates struggle and lack of fulfillment at a deep level. It is hard to be someone other than yourself.

The lesson is clear: As impractical as it may sound, the safest and most secure way to lead your life is to follow your dream.

You are reading from the book:

Listening to Your Inner Voice by Douglas Bloch

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May 16

Spring is when you feel like whistling even with a shoe full of slush.
--Doug Larson

Life is never just one thing. It is quite possible to feel optimistic and happy even when some things are not right with us. An optimistic outlook gives us energy to handle the harder things that we have to deal with. Research shows that people who have a positive attitude have a stronger immune system, are healthier, live longer, and are even more likely to recover from serious illness.

To believe in hopeful outcomes is largely a matter of choice. Many of us have experienced big disappointments and defeats in life. But having come this far, we can look back and see that somehow we had the capacity to deal with it. The Second Step guides us to believe in hopeful possibilities. We can't say that things will always turn out just the way we hope, but that we can cope with whatever happens.

Today I choose to believe that a power greater than myself can help me deal with life, and I have reason to be optimistic.

You are reading from the book:

Wisdom to Know by Anonymous

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May 17

Letting Go of Old Beliefs

Try harder. Do better. Be perfect.

These messages are tricks that people have played on us. No matter how hard we try, we think we have to do better. Perfection always eludes us and keeps us unhappy with the good we've done.

Messages of perfectionism are tricks because we can never achieve their goal. We cannot feel good about ourselves or what we have done while these messages are driving us. We will never be good enough until we change the messages and tell ourselves we are good enough now.

We can start approving of and accepting ourselves. Who we are is good enough. Our best yesterday was good enough; our best today is plenty good too.

We can be who we are, and do it the way we do it - today. That is the essence of avoiding perfection.

God, help me let go of the messages that drive me into the crazies. I will give myself permission to be who I am and let that be good enough.

You are reading from the book:

The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie

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May 18

The process rather than the product is primary in caring, for it is only in the present that I can attend to the other.
--Milton Mayeroff

The moment that captures us now is all we have for certain. We can dream endlessly about next week and next year but there are no guarantees. Thus, it is important to care for ourselves and others in this moment. Have we expressed our love to any one of the many special people in our lives today? The effort is small and yet paramount in its impact on how the day unfolds for the givers and the receivers of caring words that inspire - words that speak of love.

Someone close needs our attention today - our encouragement, our inspiration, our recognition. And we need the commitment to focus outside ourselves if we are to discover the gifts promised us in each 24-hour segment of life. It is not coincidence that we feel pulled toward particular people - that we select certain groups to identify with.


Contemplative thoughtfulness about our presence in this time and place will assure us we are needed for the loving growth of many. The mystery unfolds by design.

You are reading from the book:

Worthy of Love by Karen Casey

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May 19

To err is human; to blame it on the other guy is even more human.
--Bob Goddard

We are on a path that leads us to become better people with greater insight and stronger character. A central theme on this path is learning to take responsibility for ourselves, our mistakes, and our choices as we deal with our situations. We can make progress on this path by noticing our defensive reactions when we make a mistake or when someone criticizes us. Our old ways were aimed at shifting the blame or counterattacking to get someone else off our case. Now we are learning how to take on the blame when it honestly belongs to us.

One of the first things we need to learn in taking responsibility is that there is no shame in making a mistake. Everyone makes mistakes. But some people don't accept responsibility for them, and others do. We have much greater respect for someone who does. Admitting when we were wrong doesn't mean speaking in vague generalities, saying that "mistakes were made." It doesn't mean saying, "Yes, I did this, but only because you did that." It means saying what we did or didn't do and laying the facts out there for us and others to deal with. When we can do that, forgiveness almost always follows shortly.

Today I will hold back my defensiveness and admit the facts as they are.

You are reading from the book:

Wisdom to Know by Anonymous

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May 20

God hasn't called me to be successful. He's called me to be faithful.
--Mother Teresa

A reporter asked Mother Teresa how she could bear to go on working at such a hopeless task day after day and year after year. The people she cared for were so wretchedly poor. Many of them, very sick. How could she continue with such dedication, knowing that all the poverty and sickness would still be there long after she had died? Didn't she realize she couldn't win?

Her explanation was simple: Of course she knew the task was immense, but "finishing" wasn't her purpose. Mother Teresa had turned her life and will over to God, and her work was what she believed to be God's will for her. Because of this, she was devoted to the task itself, not to the completion of it.

We too can learn to be receptive to a higher purpose. We can direct our energies into causes we believe in, even if we know the job will never be finished. We can visit with friends and family and not try to win a verbal exchange. We can accept the will of our Higher Power and thereby find serenity.

Today, I will let go of the driving need to succeed or to impress others. Instead, I will be receptive to my Higher Power's will.

You are reading from the book:

Days of Healing, Days of Joy by Earnie Larsen and Carol Larsen Hegarty

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May 21

We must continuously fine-tune our bearings.

No one can set sail and expect to forget the wind. First you stand in the open air, feel the wind touch your face, and take note of its direction and force. Then you set your sail to carry your boat toward your goal. And you continue to recheck the wind because it is ever changing.

We might wish we could nail down our achievements when we finally reach them, stop the march of time, or keep our loved ones safe where they are. Just when we think we have everything together, something changes. Children grow up, jobs change, new neighbors move in next door. Like a sailor, we must continuously fine-tune our life bearings. Whether a change is welcome or not, we must respond.

Our main choice is not what will change but how we respond. If we hold too tightly to willful thinking, we are not attuned. But if we make peace with change, we grow. We will be transformed into more than we could ever imagine.

You are reading from the book:

The More We Find In Each Other by Merle Fossum and Mavis Fossum

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May 22

It took me a long time to realize that when I hate somebody it doesn't hurt them. Only me.

*****

Call your sponsor before, not after, you take your first drink.

*****

Nothing is so bad that relapse won't make it worse.

*****

I can't handle it, God. You take over.

*****

You cannot think your way into right actions.
You have to act your way into right thinking.

You are reading from the book:

Keep Coming Back Gift Book by Meiji Stewart

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May 23

All animals except man know that the ultimate of life is to enjoy it.
--Samuel Butler

If we take time to watch animals, we see that they have a zest for life that seems to engage them totally in whatever they are doing. A cat chasing its tail, a dog going after a ball, a horse running along the shore, a dolphin leaping and diving - all are actions that reveal energy and delight in simply being alive.

Life, we say, is to be enjoyed, but how many of us manage to put this theory into practice? We often associate pleasure with guilt or with acting out or with hurting or being hurt, and so we stand back from the full enjoyment of our power to be really alive.

Letting go of our shame and feelings of unworthiness will help us to let go and live. If we can tap into the spontaneity that runs through the animal kingdom, we will rediscover the sheer joy of being alive.

I'll try to take time to watch animals at play and learn from their vitality and enjoyment.

You are reading from the book:

Answers in the Heart by Anonymous

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May 24

Love doesn't just sit there, like a stone; it has to be made, like bread, remade all the time, made new.
--Ursula K. Le Guin

In the first phases of a relationship, everything is new and exciting. It seems as though nothing could ever go wrong.

Yet as we move out of this "honeymoon" phase of the relationship, problems begin. Suddenly we notice things about the other person that bother us. We seem to have more disagreements and more difficulties that take longer to solve. We may even silently choose corners, put up walls, and back away from each other.

It's easy at this stage to want to end the relationship. But now is when the outcome of the relationship is most critical. If we run away from renewing our love and rebuilding the foundations of trust and faith in each other, we will deprive our love of its nourishment for growth. Love takes constant work and needs plenty of patience. Each day can reveal a new layer of love; each stage in a relationship moves us to a new plateau. But only if we are willing.

I can look at my relationships and see the potential for growth. Help me renew my feelings of love through faith.

You are reading from the book:

Night Light by Amy E. Dean

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May 25

Nobody can change my thoughts but me.

The first of the Twelve Steps asks us to admit we are powerless. Our first question might be, Why? Shouldn't we try to change the conditions in our lives? Shouldn't we try to influence others to change too? If we put ourselves in good hands in this fellowship, we will begin to appreciate Step One. We will begin to understand that we are indeed powerless over other people. We can plead, complain, shame, cajole, but we cannot force them to see as we see. We will also begin to understand that we are not powerless over ourselves. Not today.

It may seem simplistic to blame our problems on how we ourselves think. After all, others are participating in our lives too. But only we have the power to interpret the experiences we're having. And we can decide to accept every experience as an opportunity for growth and adventure, as God's will. The old-timers tell us that is what Step Three means.

I can't change anyone else; all I can change is my mind. I will carefully watch my thoughts today.

You are reading from the book:

A Life of My Own by Karen Casey

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May 26

The Enemy Within

Why do we self-destruct? The problem of evil has been with us ever since the serpent tempted Eve to eat the apple. We often feel at war internally, one self fighting another self.

There are forces that would have us abandon our program, and usually we find the temptation coming from within. We become careless, bored, lackadaisical in our efforts. Instead of disciplining ourselves to further spiritual growth, we rest on our oars and then wonder why we are drifting downstream!

Sane, healthy living requires that we acknowledge our spiritual needs. When our Higher Power is in control, we work for emotional and spiritual growth as well as physical satisfaction. Instead of being divided internally, we are integrated. The enemy within is subdued in the only way possible - by God's power.

Defeat the enemy within me, Lord.

You are reading from the book:

Food for Thought by Elisabeth L.

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May 27

Change in all things is sweet.
-- Aristotle

Newcomer

I don't know why I'm still going through such emotional ups and downs at this point. I'm not in withdrawal, my body chemistry is no longer in chaos, and I know how to take better care of myself. I'm open to many new things, and I'm growing and changing faster than I ever expected. Why should I feel bad?

Sponsor

Each time I reach a new awareness, I have to go through a grieving process for the old me. Suddenly it feels as if I'm someone else, somewhere else. I'm not the person I was yesterday. Even if that person was less conscious and closer to active addiction, still, that person was the me I knew. Sometimes I miss that old familiar self. We'd spent a lot of time together.

Recovery awakens us to new possibilities. We have to change, experiment, take risks - even though we may think we detest change! Being alive and having joy sustains us. We may not have all the answers, but we want to ask the questions. Taking time for daily meditations helps us to find the peace and calm at our center. As recovery continues, the sense that everything is moving too quickly will slow down.

Today, though things may not be different, I am different.

You are reading from the book:

If You Want What We Have by Joan Larkin

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May 28

I can hear music...sweet, sweet music.
--Brian Wilson

We often find it helpful to think about the role music has played in our lives. Sometimes, it has been a problem for us - time spent listening to loud, blaring music was a time of physical and emotional isolation, usually under the influence of drugs.

In recovery we may find ourselves drawn to a different kind of music that speaks to our changing way of life. Perhaps it is more soothing or relaxing. Perhaps it is a new artist.

Whatever type of music we choose, we find it is much more than a pastime for us. It is an appreciation. Our favorite artists, our favorite songs - some never change, some do.

Our relationship with music is growing and changing. In recovery we find music engages our minds and relaxes our bodies in a new way. Music lifts our spirits, too. We are grateful that music is part of our life and that we now have a chance to think about it and perhaps even develop some new interests. Music is an excellent way to get to know other people; it helps us unwind after a hard day and adds a new dimension to our enjoyment of life.

Today I thank You for music. Help me to love and appreciate it even more now that I am sober.

You are reading from the book:

Body, Mind, and Spirit by Anonymous

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May 29

The cost of a thing is the amount of what I will call life, which is required to be exchanged for it, immediately or in the long run.
--Henry David Thoreau

Consider the young man who was doing great in his high school studies, then suddenly started to fall behind. One day, a teacher pulled the young man aside and asked him what happened. The student told him that he had asked his father for a car, and the father told him that if he earned the money, he could have one. The student, being industrious and hard working, went out, got a job, saved the money, and bought the car. But then the car needed insurance, gas, and maintenance, so the student kept the job to keep up the car. The job took up more and more of his time, until finally he began to fall behind in his studies.

"Why don't you just get rid of the car?" asked the teacher.

"Get rid of the car?" came the reply. "How would I get to my job?"

How often we feel that if we just get that new car, that new boyfriend or girlfriend, that promotion, or the condo in the good neighborhood, we will find happiness and contentment - only to discover that the thing just brings with it more pain, more costs, and more bother than it's worth. The new sports car runs only half the time, the new partner needs more care than your dog, the promotion eats up your weekends, and the new condo won't allow pets.

Things don't bring true happiness. Instead, they often sap your strength and leave you emptier than you were before. Think about the true cost of a thing before you pursue it in time, lifestyle changes, energy, maintenance and money. Can you really afford the amount of life that the thing will take from you in return for the happiness it brings? Are you willing to pay the price?

God, help me be aware of the true cost of the things in my life.

You are reading from the book:

More Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie

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May 30

We learn as much from sorrow as from joy, as much from illness as from health, from handicap as from advantage - and indeed perhaps more.
--Pearl S. Buck

If we or a loved one is suffering with a chronic or terminal illness or laid up from an accident, we may be out of work either because we ourselves are sick or because we need to function as caretaker. In addition to losing income, we're confronted by a stream of medical bills not covered by insurance. We may already feel completely overwhelmed by the illness or tragedy. How do we face the debt, too?

If we're emotionally overwrought because of a tragedy, we remember that the medical bills will wait. We have a responsibility to deal with them somehow, but our first responsibility is toward ourselves and to whoever is ill. We can only handle so much at a time. We allow ourselves to deal with our relationships and our grief.

Today I will live one day at a time.

You are reading from the book:

Letting Go of Debt by Karen Casanova

[bluidkiti]

May 31

Detachment means "freedom from emotion."

Letting someone else's behavior determine how we feel at every turn is irresponsible. Our emotions should be determined by us, not by someone else. But no doubt we have spent years confusing the boundaries that separate us from other people. Whether at work or at home, we have too often let someone else's "insanity" affect how we behave and how we feel.

At first, it may seem insensitive not to react to others' problems or negative behavior. We may fear they'll think we simply don't care about them. Learning that it is far more caring to let other people handle their own lives takes time and patience. But with practice, it will begin to feel comfortable. In fact, in time it will feel freeing and wonderful.

I will work on detachment today, knowing that in time the rewards will come.

You are reading from the book:

A Life of My Own by Karen Casey