Today's Thought - September

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September 1

Do we manage ourselves to the best of our ability?

Some of us are in the program because the drinkers in our lives are out of control and we feel crazy. Others of us come to the program certain that we are managing our lives very well but hoping to learn how to better manage someone else. For some of us, the addict may have stopped using, but the feelings of hopelessness remain. Whatever our reason for being here, we are in the right place.

The program can teach us a lot if we are willing to learn. The first test of our willingness is being able to accept our powerlessness over others. Surrendering to God the management of all the other people in our lives will free us to better manage ourselves. But what does that mean? It means taking no action that we haven't talked over with a friend and with God. It means always loving and never harming the people we care about. It means never giving up the belief that our journey has purpose.

I will pay more attention to my own behavior than someone else's today. Managing me will keep me plenty busy. If I do it well, I'll be happy.

You are reading from the book:

A Life of My Own by Karen Casey

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September 2

He who has a thousand friends has not a friend to spare.
--Ai Ibn-Abu-Talib

When we entered recovery, we had buddies we drank or used with and people we hung out with, but often no one we could really call a friend. For a long time, we hadn't been "friend material." Too poor in body, mind, and spirit to be generous, we weren't even a friend to ourselves; how could we be a friend to someone else? Finally, we just gave up on having friends. Our attitude became, "Who needs them anyway?"

Then we began to recover and one day realized we had friends. Good friends. Friends worth loving. And the most amazing thing of all; they loved us too. We could have a friend. We could be a friend. No longer unreliable and ungenerous, we could give of ourselves. No longer needing to buy another's love, we can accept love from others. No longer suspicious about other people's motives, we can accept friendship.

In learning to love ourselves and others, we began to accept that other people could love us, too. Now we can trust ourselves to be good to our friends. With a growing circle of people to choose from, we can risk being ourselves. Knowing that whatever happens, we can handle it. What a wonderful feeling of security and confidence we have now that we've found friends.

Today help me appreciate my friends, and help me be a good friend to others.

You are reading from the book:

Body, Mind, and Spirit by Anonymous

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September 3

Practicing tolerance

Everyone has a different opinion. No two people look the same. We all are different. Differences can cause us fear and set us apart from others, and we have no idea why.

If addiction closes us down, recovery opens us up. In the program, we learn that we are all more alike than we are different. We learn to look for what we share. We learn that we know so little about ourselves (let alone others) and that judgments are not helpful.

Can I live and let live?

Higher Power, help me to see myself in others.

You are reading from the book:

Day by Day - Second Edition by Anonymous

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September 4

A tip-off to an abusive family system is a situation in which nobody ever apologizes.
-- Karen Shaud

When we get a tip-off, we can open the door to a whole new way of looking at the world. The tip-off about apologies can help us learn to have a healthier family. It is hard to apologize, but with practice, it will get easier. We are learning that we can make mistakes, and admit them, and that other people will accept our apologies.

In the same way, we are learning we can accept others' apologies. Apologies are sometimes hard to make. It helps to keep in mind that we make them as much for ourselves and our own growth as for the person we apologize to. We are not worthless just because we make mistakes, but we increase our value to ourselves and others by being able to recognize them and apologize.

Is there an apology I need to make today?

You are reading from the book:

Today's Gift by Anonymous

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September 5

Change of scene has no effect upon unconscious conflicts.
--Edmund Bergler, M.D.

There's no running away from the internal strife. Whatever haunts us must finally be confronted and resolved if we're ever to grow and thus contribute to our world its due. When we keep secrets locked away, the secrets begin to keep us locked away as well.

It is folly, and yet entirely human, to think a new location, a new job, a new lover will cure whatever troubles us. The truth is, however, that whatever trips us up is at the same time trying to edge us forward to new awareness, and thus the next level of growth. Our troubles are tools for a strengthened foundation. Without them, we'd soon crumble.

When we consider the conflicts we encounter as opportunities for further development, they excite us rather than provoke anxiety. Changing our perspective can make the same scene appear quite new.

You are reading from the book:

The Promise of a New Day by Karen Casey and Martha Vanceburg

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September 6

A single grateful thought toward heaven is the most complete prayer.
--Gotthold Ephraim Lessing

Thank you is one of the most important things we can say to anyone. Thank you packs a lot of meaning into two little words. Thank you says, "I see you. I see what you have done for me. You have been kind to me. I know it takes work to be kind. I feel special that you did the work of being kind to me. I am grateful."

Sometimes it is hard for us to say thank you because we are too busy feeling shame or sadness or anger. So what? No excuses. Those feelings are our own problems, and we know what to do about them now that we have a recovery program. No matter what is going on with us, we can always find help. And we can always be kind to others. Saying thank you is an easy way to start.

Prayer for the Day

Thank You, Higher Power. Thank You for the gift of life, for a world of natural beauty and power to live in, and for the people around me who love me and accept my love. Thank You for caring about me and helping me every day in my recovery, and please help me ask for the gift of Your help each day.

Today's Action

Today I will practice thinking "Thank You, Higher Power" every time I receive a little help or a lucky break.

You are reading from the book:

God Grant Me... by Anonymous

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September 7

When all else is lost, the future still remains.
--Christian Bovee

Ours is a program of hope. We sit in meetings and give each other hope. For no matter how long we have been sober - five days or thirty years - there will be times when we feel horrible. This is life. In everyone's life there are times of wonderful joy, but also times of incredible pain.

If we act from our values and the spiritual principles given to us by our Higher Power, pain will be transformed into growth and new understanding. Pain is transitory and softens with time.

These are the lessons of recovery. Bad times can be transformed into growth and joy.

Prayer for the Day

Higher Power, I give You my pain and I ask You to show me the lessons I'm to learn. I ask for Your help in holding on to hope. Help me to never forget that You and others are with me.

Today's Action

Today I will list the times during my active addiction that I felt most hopeless. Then I will think of what lessons I learned from these moments. How did others, my Higher Power, and I transform these moments?

You are reading from the book:

God Grant Me... by Anonymous

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September 8

Life moves forward

The past is past. Over. Finished. Our job is to move with the flow of the present. We are propelled by what went before, but we do not try to swim against the current of our present lives by regretting or yearning for old times.

Each day of recovery releases us from the past and gives us a fresh start. We can put behind us the misery of compulsive behavior - we certainly don't yearn to re-experience that! Though the good times of the past will stay in our memories, our minds need to be focused on the present.

Recovery also readies us for the future: We don't fear what lies ahead, since it is in the hands of our Higher Power. Our task is to earnestly seek to know and do our Higher Power's will for us today so that we will keep moving with the stream of goodness that wends through our lives. Trust and confidence support us as we face forward.

Working my program today keeps me steady in the present and ready for the future.

You are reading from the book:

Inner Harvest by Elisabeth L.

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September 9

Growth is the only evidence of life.
--John, Cardinal Newman

We should be thankful we can never reach complete serenity. If we could, we would never have the need to improve ourselves. We would stop growing, because there would be no reason to learn any more than we already know, and we would become bored. Even the things which seem so serene in nature usually contain a struggle within. A lake, with a swan gliding slowly across it, seems a perfect picture of serenity. But, unseen below the surface, fish, turtles, and frogs struggle each day for survival.

The important thing is to accept the struggles as a part of the beauty of life, not as blemishes on it.

You are reading from the book:

Today's Gift by Anonymous

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September 10

Forgiveness is the key to action and freedom.
--Hannah Arendt

Resentments keep us in the past, a past that can never be relived. Resentments keep a stranglehold on our mind. They keep us from appreciating the beauty of a moment. They stop us from hearing the loving voices of friends. We forget that we have a mission to fulfill God's divine plan for our life.

Fortunately, we can shake this hold on us, and our freedom comes when we decide to forgive whatever transgressions are made against us. This decision, with some practice, can become second nature.

Clearly the choice to resent no one is our opportunity to free our mind and heart for the real activities God hopes we'll attend to. Our purpose in this life goes unfulfilled when we're consumed by resentments. Now we have a program of recovery to help us develop a forgiving heart and find the peace and joy that are part of God's will for each of us.

Holding resentments against others hurts me. Forgiveness can make me glad I'm alive today.

You are reading from the book:

In God's Care by Karen Casey

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September 11

We don't always understand the ways of Almighty God - the crosses sent us, the sacrifices demanded . . . But we accept with faith and resignation the holy will with no looking back, and we are at peace.
--Anonymous

Acceptance of our past, acceptance of the conditions presently in our lives that we cannot change, brings relief. It brings the peacefulness we so often, so frantically, seek.

We can put the past behind us. Each day is a new beginning. And each day of abstinence offers us the chance to look ahead with hope. A power greater than ourselves helped us to find this program. That power is ever with us. When we fear facing new situations, or when familiar situations turn sour, we can look to that power for help in saying what needs to be said and for doing what needs to be done. Our higher power is as close as our breath. Conscious awareness of its presence strengthens us, moment by moment.

The past is gone. Today is full of possibilities. With each breath I will be aware of the strength at hand.

You are reading from the book:

Each Day a New Beginning by Karen Casey

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September 12

Control robs us of serenity.

The Serenity Prayer, when relied on, changes the very nature of our lives. The reality is that most of our troubles result from an unwillingness to give up controlling the many people we encounter. What they are doing is seldom relevant. We simply want them to answer to us!

There is so much we cannot change. Yet our stubbornness leaves us frustrated, depressed, and in near constant conflict. Nonetheless, there is an easy solution. It's the first prayer we heard in a Twelve Step meeting. We can ask God for wisdom so we can change only what is ours to change and accept all the rest. Wisdom will come. And so will the serenity we deserve.

God, grant me serenity today, along with wisdom and acceptance, so I can fulfill your will.

You are reading from the book:

A Life of My Own by Karen Casey

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September 12

-- Will Rogers

We laugh when others do something silly. We're amused when something funny happens to them. But if the same happens to us and people laugh, we might give them the evil eye.

Yet, when others laugh, it can free us. It frees us to see the world through new eyes. Likewise, when we laugh at ourselves, we're free to see ourselves with new eyes. Instead of trying to be perfect, we accept we're human. To laugh at ourselves is to accept ourselves. There's no room for shame when we laugh. We enjoy ourselves just as we are. Can I accept the fact I'm human and I have limits?

Prayer for the Day

Higher Power, when I refuse to accept that I'm only human, be gentle with me. I know that, when I least expect it, you will remind me that I'm only human.

Action for the Day

I will share with a friend one or two stories about funny mistakes I've made.

You are reading from the book:

Keep It Simple by Anonymous

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September 14

Almost everyone wants something for nothing.
--Marsha Sinetar

Bargains attract. Finding a good value excites us, and we share the news quickly. Wanting anything for free is human nature perhaps. However, we have had to learn again and again that you get what you pay for. This is true of human interactions too.

Why do we think that others will be there for us if we aren't available for them? Having friends means being a friend, even if it's time-consuming. Although friendship's rewards are indisputable, we still tend to wait, letting the other person make the first move. Getting the other person to commit first reduces our effort, perhaps, but we will still receive according to what we give.

Knowing and utilizing this principle simplifies our lives. Once we master it, we never forget it. And what we bring to our relationships will be given back to us.

I am willing to give to others what I want in return today. Their efforts will match my own.

You are reading from the book:

A Woman's Spirit by Karen Casey

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September 15

The most wasted day of all is that in which we have not laughed.
--Sebastian R.N. Chamfort

When we wallowed in the self-pity of obsession, we were sure we'd never laugh again. How easy it was to weep, alone and secretly, inspired by sad music like "Born to Lose" or "I'm So Lonesome I Could Cry."

What a shock it was to hear people laugh in our first few meetings! How could they laugh about something as serious as addiction? What an awakening when we were able to join the laughter.

We laughed with them as they laughed at the sad objects they once were. Today we can also laugh for pure joy at being free of restraints, and in gratitude for the resolve not to return to our old ways. We can laugh just for being alive.

Laughter is a source of growth for me. It keeps me thinking positively. It reduces the stress of problems. It tells me that any effort at progress is worthwhile. Laughter is progress.

You are reading from the book:

Easy Does It by Anonymous

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September 16

Self-interest is but the survival of the animal in us. Humanity only begins for man with self-surrender.
--Henri Amiel

When we were lost in our addictive ways, we were driven by self-interest. We didn't necessarily like ourselves or want to be so self-centered. But we had no inner resources to help us escape the trap of our egos. When we were there, we could not see outside ourselves well enough to ask for help. Surrender, we thought, brought only defeat and humiliation.

The inspiration of this program brings us possibilities that cannot originate from within. When we surrender, we are no longer captives within our skins. We are actually restored to a more natural state as people in community with others, who literally cannot survive as isolated individuals. We must be a part of the give and take within the group, just as it has been for human beings since the beginning of time.

Today, I surrender my self-interest again, knowing I must do it over and over.

You are reading from the book:

Touchstones by Anonymous

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September 17

I wish I could keep in mind that God can provide, God will provide, and God does provide.
-- Marie Gubbels

Relying on God for the guidance to deal with our problems seems much too simple. We probably spent decades looking to alcohol, other drugs, and relationships for the solution to the ache that never left. We didn't know then that God was waiting in the wings for our prayers. Even knowing it, as we do now, hasn't prevented us from looking for help elsewhere, time and again. It has never been our nature to keep our lives simple. However, we are getting more practiced at the simpler life since becoming a part of this recovery program.

We may need to choose, daily, to believe that God can, will, and does provide for our every need. Because most of us haven't had a life-changing spiritual experience, we must decide every day to look to God. Fortunately, a moment of quiet and a tiny prayer is all that we need to do. God is never more than a thought away.

I will practice my reliance on God at every turn of events today. I believe I will receive guidance and knowledge concerning how to proceed next.

You are reading from the book:

A Woman's Spirit by Karen Casey

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September 18

Through These Doors

Dear God,

Please get me through these doors.

A meeting is what I need.

Remind me to leave my ego and intolerance outside.

Help me to hear the strength and hope in everyone's words.

We are the same but appear so different.

I will remember that others' experiences will help my recovery just as my experience may help another.

You are reading from the book:

The 12 Step Prayer Book Volume 2 by Bill P. and Lisa D.

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September 19

Procrastination is the thief of time.
--Edward Young

When we have a problem with putting things off, we seem to add to our troubles by mentally flogging ourselves. We know we are losing time. We criticize ourselves for our irrational behavior. Whether we are putting off an important task in our lives or letting many little undone jobs accumulate, we could benefit from stopping the self criticism and asking ourselves for the spiritual message in our actions. Perhaps we need some quiet time to do absolutely nothing. Maybe our perfectionism is paralyzing us. Is an "all or nothing" attitude telling us if we can't do the whole job right away, there is no point in beginning? Unexpressed anger may be blocking us from doing what we need to do.

Whenever we find ourselves doing things that seem irrational we can ask, "What is the message from my Higher Power in this behavior?" This question will carry us much further toward spiritual growth than the mental criticism we are tempted to do.

Today, I will do what I can within the limits of one day, and I will stay in communication with my Higher Power.

You are reading from the book:

Touchstones by Anonymous

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September 20

In everyone's heart stirs a great homesickness.
--Rabbi Seymour Siegel

We ask ourselves what drove us to do some of the things we did? We went to extremes even when we knew our actions were not rational. Still today, we are drawn to extremes. At times we still long for things that we know will hurt us. Are we puzzled by these desires?

Wise men and prophets have searched their own deep truths to understand their desires and longings. Many say that our desires and hungers are, at the base of our being, a search for a spiritual home, a place where we know we are welcome, safe, and loved. Perhaps we are all born longing for that home. Maybe we first taste it when we first experience the warmth of loving and caring parents, even when it was only a taste, and only partially satisfied. Then we spend the rest of our lives in pursuit of that good feeling again.

The wisdom of the Twelve Steps points us toward that spiritual home, a lifetime of growth and development follows in which we feel the spirit in our fellowship with other men and women, and we learn from others how they have found their way home.

Today the stirring in my heart will be a sign of my spiritual longing.

You are reading from the book:

Wisdom to Know by Anonymous

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September 21

Accepting Change

The winds of change blow through our life, sometimes gently, sometimes like a tropical storm. Yes, we have resting places - time to adjust to another level of living, time to get our balance, time to enjoy the rewards. We have time to catch our breath.

But change is inevitable, and desirable.

Sometimes, when the winds of change begin to rustle, we're not certain the change is for the better. We may call it stress or a temporary condition, certain we'll be restored to normal. Sometimes, we resist. We tuck our head down and buck the wind, hoping that things will quickly calm down, get back to the way things were. Is it possible we're being prepared for a new "normal"?

Change will sweep through our life, as needed, to take us where we're going. We can trust that our Higher Power has a plan in mind, even when we don't know where the changes are leading.

We can trust that the change-taking place is good. The wind will take us where we need to go.

Today, help me, God, to let go of my resistance to change. Help me be open to the process. Help me believe that the place I'll be dropped off will be better than the place where I was picked up. Help me surrender, trust, and accept, even if I don't understand.

You are reading from the book:

The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie

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September 22

You can't cross a chasm in two steps.
--Rashi Fein

When a small child hides her eyes, she means, "You can't see me." We sophisticated grownups sometimes have trouble getting rid of magic thinking. We tear petals from daisies, one by one; we tell ourselves that anything we eat standing up has no calories. We know one must leap across a chasm, but still we think, "If only I could change feet in the middle!"

The important thing is getting to the other side – tackling the problem on its own terms. Playing magic games is one way to stay stuck. There's nothing romantic or admirable about futile efforts; they're an admission that we don't want to succeed.

Every problem teaches us how to resolve it. If we can't see the solution, than we're not ready for it, and instead of sputtering vainly we should set that question aside and address ourselves to our appropriate tasks.

I will remember that wishing almost never makes it so. Wishing and working almost always do.

You are reading from the book:

The Promise of a New Day by Karen Casey and Martha Vanceburg

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September 23

Prayer is neither black magic nor is it a form of demand note. Prayer is a relationship.
--John Heuss

A conversation requires two parts: talking and listening. When only we are talking, that is a monologue. When someone lectures, we listen. Prayer can be a form of conversation, yet if we examine the way we pray we may find it's a monologue.

We pray to ask for answers or guidance, to express our gratitude, and to bless those we care for. It's wonderful to open up a channel to our Higher Power by beginning the conversation, but unless we allow time to listen we will never really develop a dialogue.

We can begin to change our way of praying. We can limit our requests so we are not listing a series of wishes or demands. We can ask for patience to listen and then allow a few moments to listen. The answers will come to us and our guidance will be given when we are truly ready to receive them. An equal balance of talking and listening will help strengthen our relationship with our Higher Power.

I will pray and then listen, to allow my Higher Power some time to communicate with me.

You are reading from the book:

Night Light by Amy E. Dean

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September 24

Now that I'm not acting crazy I can accept feeling crazy once in a while.
--Sandy B.

Saying no to ourselves may be a greater act of courage than rushing into a burning building to save a child. The act of heroic rescue may be impulsive, almost involuntary, and completed before there is time for a reasoned judgment. Ah, but the other one! To consciously challenge our own will is never a spontaneous thing. We may feel crazy the first day we deny ourselves the familiar comfort of nicotine or other substances. The first, or fifth, or twenty-fifth time we practice detachment may make us feel like we're coming apart. First efforts at taking responsibility for our own behavior can make us feel as peculiar and disjointed as if we'd decided to go through the rest of our lives walking on our hands instead of our feet.

But to be crazy is to keep on asking for what we don't want. If, for a while, sane action has to be accompanied by crazy feelings - then so be it. To accept that paradox and forge ahead anyway is to join the ranks of heroes who don't get medals. No medal can adequately symbolize those fierce and private battles.

Today, I ask my Higher Power for a surer sense of mission.

You are reading from the book:

Days of Healing, Days of Joy by Earnie Larsen and Carol Larsen Hegarty

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September 25

We are Only Human

We can admit our limitations and defects.

When we admit the truth about our limitations and defects, we create fertile ground for new growth and change. But if we wallow in hopeless belief that our defects are just our true nature, we grow committed to them. That is the difference between powerlessness and helplessness. When we accept our powerlessness to control everything, we wake up to a deeper wisdom - that more willfulness only brings more defeat. Some of our needs can only be met and some growth can only happen when we receive a healing infusion of outside help.

But when we tenaciously refuse to accept our powerlessness, our dogged willfulness keeps us trying harder to do what we cannot do alone. Eventually that leads to resignation and helplessness. Our better choice is both painful and hopeful. We can admit our limitations and defects. Then we become receptive to help and acceptance from our mate, other people and from our Higher Power.

Tell your partner one of your defects that you are willing to give up.

You are reading from the book:

The More We Find In Each Other by Merle Fossum and Mavis Fossum

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September 26

The most wasted day is that in which we have not laughed.
--Chamfort

When we are adrift in our addiction, we take ourselves very seriously and often lose contact with reality. We become lost in fantasy and obsession. Life becomes joyless because we can't see beyond our addiction, and we find no real satisfaction there. We lose touch with the joy and humor of life, and we find that everything around us and inside us is grim and dark.

One of the many positive signs of our return to health and sanity is our recovery of the gift of laughter. Each day as we gain more energy and zest of life, we move in to the world and find many things that are humorous, in ourselves and in other people. We laugh and find we are no longer alone.

Laughter is the mark of a healthy, happy human being. Laughter shows that we are truly a part of the human community. It is a sign that we are alive and on the way to recovery.

I am glad that I can laugh again and feel in touch with myself and others.

You are reading from the book:

Answers in the Heart by Anonymous

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September 27

Everyday . . . life confronts us with new problems to be solved which force us to adjust our old programs accordingly.
--Dr. Ann Faraday

Facing the day straight on is occasionally difficult to do. There are those days we feel like crawling under the covers and staying there, certain that we can't handle whatever might be asked of us. Maybe today is one of those days. Perhaps we feel 12 years old, instead of 42. To consciously behave like a responsible 42-year-old is out of the question. Acting "as if" is the next best thing, the program tells us, and it is.

Acting "as if" also comes in handy when only a minor kink interferes with the day's progression. Most problems don't fit an easy solution or a familiar one. However, most problems are dispensed with by seeing them as opportunities for creative response, calmly seeking guidance and then moving ahead slowly, being aware of the effects of our actions.

Today, and every day, I will have an opportunity to think creatively and to rely on my inner guide. Instead of dreading the unfamiliar, I will be glad for it. It's moving me ever closer to understanding life's mysteries.

You are reading from the book:

Each Day a New Beginning by Karen Casey

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September 28

Every time I get worried about something I say my prayers more.
--Jim Burns

Whether we grew up in religious families or not, most of us seek help from some Greater Power when we're faced with terrifying situations. Often it's at an unconscious level that we ask for extra help. But the fact that we do elicit strength from some source comforts us, and this enables us to walk through the experience that appears so daunting.

We never outgrow the need for strength and comfort. That's good news. It's too awesome to think that we need to know all now, to understand how every detail of living should unfold. It's quite enough to limit our focus on the details of the next 24 hours.

Let's be vigilant about our search for guidance and comfort. And let's not forget that we have to listen for the response. If our minds are filled with worrying, there will be no space for the answers to enter.

Praying for solutions or comfort or just a moment of peace will change my perspective today. When my perspective changes, so do my experiences.

You are reading from the book:

Keepers of the Wisdom by Karen Casey

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September 29

To love is to place our happiness in the happiness of another.
--G. Wilhelm Leibniz

To desire personal happiness is normal and healthy. Most of our plans, choices, and dreams about the present and future regarding jobs, relationships, and hoped-for achievements are geared to make us happy. It's never wrong to want happiness; however, to receive it at someone else's expense or to selfishly steal it from another will result in sorrow. And our greatest happiness will visit us when we least expect it - when we are attentively seeing to another's happiness.

Doing for others - perhaps shopping for a friend who is ill or aged, maybe offering child care to an overworked parent, or cooking a surprise meal for a lonely neighbor - will never fail to heighten our own pleasure.

You are reading from the book:

Worthy of Love by Karen Casey

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September 30

...praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.
-- Second half of Step Eleven

Step Eleven teaches us how to pray. We pray for God's will to replace ours. Our will got us in trouble. God's will guides us to simple serenity. We pray for power to live a spiritual life. This is important, for it takes much strength and courage to live a spiritual life.

The sober path is not always easy. It takes self-discipline. We have to say no to our self-will. We follow God's will for us. The rewards are great. We get sobriety. We get serenity. We get friendship. We regain our family. We get a deep, loving relationship with a Higher Power who wants peace and joy for us and for the world.

Prayer for the Day

Dear Higher Power, I pray the words of Step Eleven. I pray to know Your will for me. And I pray that I have the power to carry out Your will.

Action for the Day

I will examine my life. I will look to see how my will gets in the way of God's will.

You are reading from the book:

Keep It Simple by Anonymous