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bluidkiti
10-31-2015, 09:15 AM
November 1

Wisdom for Today

Surrender is more than simply understanding that I can’t run the show my way anymore. Understanding that I am an addict and an alcoholic and that my way doesn’t work does not produce change. Insight, knowledge and understanding do nothing if I don’t change my behavior. Surrender is something I must do behaviorally. Simply saying I give up is not enough. I must become willing, open and honest in my surrender to a Higher Power.

What this means is that I constantly must seek out advice and suggestions from others in the program and then evaluate each of the ideas I receive. I must ask myself, “What would God want me to do?” I must become willing to let go and follow the suggestions I get. When my behavior and thinking are in line with God’s will for me, then I know that I have truly surrendered. Sometimes this means doing things and making choices that go against what I want. Yet what I want cannot be important if it goes against what my Higher Power would want for me. Does my behavior show that I have really surrendered?

Meditations for the Heart

Spirit power comes from spending quiet time in prayer and meditation. I always need to ask God, “What do you want me to do?” I need to listen to my head and heart to find this answer. When my head and heart both agree with what I know God would want me to do, then I know that I have the answer I need. Particularly early on in my recovery, I found that many of the answers I got were not the answers I wanted to hear. But if I was going to really surrender my will, I needed to put these answers into action. I have always been amazed when I do this. The outcome of surrender has always been positive for me. This does not mean the process was easy; in fact, often times it was very hard. But each time I let go and turn my will and my life over to the care of God, I find that I am made stronger. I find that I am able to handle the things that used to baffle me. Do I spend time each day seeking to be Spirit-powered?

Petitions to my Higher Power

God,
It is so easy for me to get off track when I don’t listen for Your direction in my life? Today give me ears to hear Your “still, small voice” and the willingness to follow Your instruction. Help me to understand that the only way that I can find freedom is to surrender to Your will. Amen.

bluidkiti
11-02-2015, 06:36 AM
November 2

Wisdom for Today

Surrendering our addictive living over to God does not mean we will never be tempted to drink or use again. Most of us, including I myself, have had times when we experience cravings or urges to use. Most of us have entertained thoughts of using again. In order to be ready for these times, it is important for us to be prepared. An important part of this preparation for me has been to get myself into the right frame of mind each day. Through prayer, meditation and reading, I find that I can keep my mind off of using and on recovery.

When I give my problems over to God, I no longer need to be fearful. I can build up my strength and be confident that God will help me in my struggle. As time passes, staying clean and sober gets easier and easier. It is important for me to stay centered in gratitude. I no longer have to live my life as I did before. Gratitude keeps me focused on what God is doing for me every day of my life. Do I see each day clean and sober as a gift?

Meditations for the Heart

Simply being rid of my desire for alcohol and drugs did not bring me happiness. There was much more to do. Eliminating selfish thinking and behavior was also needed. It was only when I stopped focusing on me and began to focus on “we” that a spark ignited in me. As I began to see that my Twelve Step groups were about helping each other, I began to understand that I had a responsibility to reach out and help others, just as I had been helped. This was difficult at first, because I was unsure of what to say. But as I began to see that all I needed to do was share my experiences and leave the rest up to God, I found that elusive happiness. Am I working to eliminate selfish thinking and behavior?

Petitions to my Higher Power

God,
Today is a gift from You, for I know that I cannot stay clean and sober on my own. Give me a willingness to accept the responsibility to carry the message to others. Help me to be free of selfish thinking and behavior. Let me seek out an attitude of gratitude today.
Amen.

bluidkiti
11-03-2015, 12:10 AM
November 3

Wisdom for Today

Early in the recovery process I ran into a serious problem. There was this gift called recovery that God wanted to give me, but I wanted to earn it. I felt like after all the crazy and hurtful things I had done that I somehow had to earn this gift. I was working very hard at trying to work a “perfect” program so that I could say, “I deserve it.” I was working hard at recovery and getting nowhere fast. This didn’t last long because I got discouraged quickly. Why wasn’t I getting the serenity and happiness that everyone else had?

Then I would go in the opposite direction. I began to feel like maybe I really didn’t deserve this gift called recovery. Perhaps I was too bad. I snuck into meetings with my head hung low. I was bent over with this load of shame that I carried on my back. Accepting that I had a disease was relatively easy. There was lots of evidence. Learning to accept recovery was much harder. The reality was that I could not earn it. The reality was that I didn’t deserve it. Yet God was offering it to me freely. All I had to do was accept it. God knew I was ready; it was me that was unsure. Do I accept this free gift called recovery?

Meditations for the Heart

Fear can be healthy, and it can be very destructive. Fear tells me not to spend time with people who are actively drinking and using drugs. Fear tells me not to walk in front of a bus cruising down the street. Fear tells me not to ingest poison. Healthy fear is based in commonsense. But there is also destructive fear. This fear tells me that I can’t make the changes I need to make. Destructive fear tells me that I have to hide my faults. But most destructive is the fear that destroys hope. We cannot allow this kind of fear into our heart. The only way to do this is to replace this fear with love. When we carry the love of God in our heart and have faith that God, as our Higher Power, will indeed care for us, we have no room for destructive fear in our heart. Do I carry God and His love in my heart?

Petitions to my Higher Power

God,

Each time I think about what You have done for me, I am speechless. I did nothing to deserve recovery, and I did nothing to earn it. You provided it freely. Thank You for opening me up to accept this wonderful gift. Walk with me and let me carry Your love in my heart this day.

Amen.

bluidkiti
11-04-2015, 08:11 AM
November 4

Wisdom for Today

Once I turned my addiction over to God, I could begin to breathe easier, or at least I thought I could. But in turning things over and not running the show my way anymore, I soon discovered there was a catch. In turning over my will and my life to God's care, I needed to now cooperate with God. This meant asking for direction and then listening for the answer. So I would go to meetings and talk about the problems I was having in my life. I would get all kinds of stories from others and how they handled similar problems. I would visit with my sponsor and discuss the various options and suggestions I had heard at the meetings. Then I would pray. Soon I knew in my heart what it was that I was to do.

This was a problem. I didn't always like the answers and direction I was getting. Sometimes I even became angry at what my heart was telling me. Still, if I really was going to fully surrender, I could not argue but only follow the suggestions. To my surprise, I soon found myself getting better. My health improved. My thinking became clearer. My emotions settled down; and, best of all, the problems started to disappear. Something was happening to me. I was being transformed from an active alcoholic and addict into a recovering one. I even began to get brief glimpses of serenity. Do I cooperate with God's plans for me?

Meditations for the Heart

The spiritual aspects of the program must be learned. For me it was very much like learning to crawl and then learning to stand up. Next came taking my first steps and learning to walk the walk. There are even times now that I feel like I can even jog a little bit. Someday I hope to learn to run. My first prayers were very simple, things like, "God, help me, 'cuz I can't help myself." As I grew in my relationship with God, I found that each time I talk to Him it is a prayer. Sometimes I pray for strength. Sometimes I pray in gratitude. Sometimes I pray for wisdom, and still other times I pray for courage. As I continued to grow up spiritually and became less self-centered, I even began to pray for others. I know I still have much to learn spiritually, but I know I have many good teachers in the program. I also trust that God will continue to teach me along the way.

Petitions to my Higher Power

God,
Today I know that You will require much of me. I also know that it is my place to listen and follow. Help me to be a good listener. Give me willingness to cooperate with You and follow where Your will takes me. Help me always to seek You out along the way.

Amen.

bluidkiti
11-05-2015, 07:34 AM
November 5

Wisdom for Today

Quitting drinking and drugging was only the beginning of my recovery. I found out that I had to go to meetings for more than just abstinence from my addiction. I had to go to meetings in order to change my thinking and my behavior. My thinking was all messed up. I continued to behave like an addict. Just because I stopped drinking and using didn't mean that I was okay. I still found myself wanting to manipulate, lie and play all the games I played when I was using. If I was ever going to stay in recovery, I knew I had to change. I needed to be re-educated. This is what meetings were for. It was the only place I could get the education I needed to change my thinking and behavior.

Going to school was not easy for me. In recovery I found myself wanting to skip classes just like I did in high school and in college. I found myself not wanting to study or do my homework. Yet if I was going to cooperate with God, I had to go to meetings. I had to study the program literature, and I had to work the steps. Opening up and exposing my thinking was not easy. I was afraid that everyone would think I was crazy or judge me. This is not what happened. In the fellowship I found people who, like me, needed to change their thinking and behavior. I was not judged but accepted. Am I willing to expose my thinking to others in the program?

Meditations for the Heart

Early in recovery I was told, "It's not about quantity, but about quality." I was surprised by this remark. I had thought the goal was simply to put a lot of 24 hours together. I figured the person with the most time was the winner. I had heard the slogan, "Stick with the winners," and assumed that the winners were those with the most time. Then when I was talking with an old-timer, he told me that quality is what was important. I was beginning to string together several 24 hours, but I had no idea how to find quality in recovery. So I asked the old-timer, "How do I find quality?" He said, "Share the fellowship, stay Spirit-minded and learn the lessons." I was dumb-founded. I thought about what he said and had no idea where or how to begin. The next time I saw him at a meeting I asked him to be my sponsor. Do I have a good instructor for the classroom of recovery?

Petitions to my Higher Power

God,
There are so many lessons to be learned if I am to find this thing called quality. Help me to stay motivated and always curious. Let me keep asking questions, and thank You for the wonderful teachers in the program You have introduced me to. Today help me to be a good student.
Amen.

bluidkiti
11-06-2015, 07:49 AM
November 6

Wisdom for Today

Turning our addiction over to God is not something we can do absolutely. If I were capable of an unwavering faith and could let go of my addiction completely, then I could "breathe easy." But the fact is that my faith is not complete, and I am not capable of turning it over to God absolutely. So I must always work at strengthening my faith and building my trust in God. I need to attack any reservations that I have in this regard because if I am not building myself up in my faith, then I am going to wind up relying on myself again. I cannot afford to rely on myself. I know where that road leads already.

To build up my faith I need to keep going to meetings and listen to other people share their struggles and triumphs. I need to share my own spiritual struggles. I need to reflect back on my journey in recovery. As I look back, I spend time looking for evidence that the hand of God has been there to point the way for me. It is much easier to trust in my Higher Power when I see so clearly that He indeed walks the path with me. I also see how often He has carried me; for many times along the journey, I have not been able to walk the walk. Fortunately God has been there to do for me what I could not do on my own. Do I work to build up my faith in my Higher Power?

Meditations for the Heart

Learning to "Keep It Simple" has not been easy. You see, I seem to enjoy complicating things. I do this in lots of different ways. Sometimes I just like to worry about tomorrow, and at other times I just get hung up regretting the past. In both cases I am not living in today. Sometimes I like to “awful-ize” and make life much worse than it actually is. At other times I seem to look at life through rose-colored glasses. Sometimes I complicate life by trying to think with my heart rather than my mind. This leaves me reacting to all my emotions rather than using commonsense. It is not easy to keep it simple; but if I can stay in today and live life the way my Higher Power would want me to, it gets easier. I have found out that if I live the way my Higher Power would want me to live, life is simple. Do I complicate my life rather than keeping it simple?

Petitions to my Higher Power

God,
Today let me live my life as You would want me to live. Help me to keep things simple. Give me the courage to continue to grow spiritually, and let me grow in faith.
Amen.

bluidkiti
11-07-2015, 07:53 AM
November 7

Wisdom for Today

I can't take any credit for my sobriety at all. I didn't stop drinking or using drugs by virtue of my own willpower or by something I did. I had nothing to do with it. Every time I tried to quit on my own or control my use I eventually failed. Abstinence was not something I could achieve. Control was out of the question. My recovery is simply the result of the grace of God.

Surrender was my only option. I had to admit defeat and accept that I was helpless and powerless when it came to my addiction. It was only when I finally owned up to this reality and honestly prayed for help that a door was opened for me. My Higher Power then knew I was ready. I became willing to let go absolutely and give my life and my will over to God, as I understand Him. I can take no pride in achieving abstinence or recovery. It was not something I did, but it was something that was done for me. It was a free gift. Do I have a grateful heart for what has been done for me?

Meditations for the Heart

Learning to turn my life over was perhaps the most difficult part of the process of recovery for me. Learning that I needed to check things out with my Higher Power before I acted was not easy. Asking God for direction and then following the direction given me is not always easy. There are still times that I want to take back control. There are still times when I get willful or stubborn. Whenever I do this, I find that my life gets off track. I am repeatedly forced to go back to this basic step. It is through this process that I have been changed. Relying on His strength makes this change possible. The only way I can accomplish progress is through, with and in God's power. Am I willing to walk with, work through and live in God's grace just for today?

Petitions to my Higher Power

God,
Each day I know I need to turn my will and my life over to Your care. Sometimes this is hard. Forgive me when I get stubborn, and help me to get back on track. Let me walk with You, work through You and live in Your grace today?
Amen.

bluidkiti
11-07-2015, 07:55 AM
November 8

Wisdom for Today

Strength training requires regular workouts, lifting weights and exercise. Strength training in recovery isn't very different. If I want to strengthen my faith, I need to exercise it. I do this in a variety of different ways. I need to have regular workouts. This happens when I continually talk to my Higher Power. In prayer I talk to God and tell Him about my needs. I talk to Him about what I am grateful for, and I talk about the help that I seek. I also need to lift up the heavy weights in my life - those problems, emotions and thinking I find especially heavy or troubling. I exercise my faith when I share openly at meetings. I trust that God will use my words to help others, but I also trust that He will use my words to help me as well.

When another addict or alcoholic approaches me, I recognize quickly that there is little I can offer except my experience, good and bad. When they come back and tell me that something I said helped them, I have to remind myself that it is not my words but how God is using them. I always thank these individuals not because of what they said, but because of the example that they give me that God does want to help addicts and alcoholics. Finally, after a good workout, I need to rest quietly and simply absorb what has happened. When I do this, I find that my faith has been strengthened. Do I exercise my faith?

Meditations for the Heart

Sometimes I am asked how to listen to God. There is no easy answer to this question. In part that’s true because each addict or alcoholic understands God in his own way. For some individuals, G-O-D means Group of Drunks or Druggies. When this is the case, listening to G-O-D becomes listening to the group conscious of the program. In this case it is trust that God works in and through the fellowship. For others, G-O-D stands for Good Orderly Direction. In this case listening to what the mind knows is healthy leads us to God's voice. For some of us God is the One we came to know through our religious upbringing. In this case, I have found that listening as a little child listens to a caring parent helps me. I find answers in my heart and in my mind. As I have grown in my understanding of God, I have come to believe that all of these methods work. I guess He is what we need and talks to us in a way we can understand regardless of who we are. Do I hear God's voice in some way?

Petitions to my Higher Power

God,
In this day I know that I will be facing many different situations. Help me to exercise my faith regularly throughout the day. Let me carry the weights in my life to You and trust that You will lead me to the answers I need. Help me to listen for Your voice as I walk the path of recovery.
Amen.

bluidkiti
11-09-2015, 07:32 AM
November 9

Wisdom for Today

With all the noise and confusion I have in my life, it is important for me to take time for quiet time each day. It is in these quiet times that I find my relationship with God, as I understand Him, is improved and maintained. It is in these quiet times that I learn to depend on my Higher Power. Then when I am caught up in the noise and confusion of my day, I find it is easier to turn back to God for help along the way. In these quiet times I can both talk to and listen to God. I can meditate on the things that are important and learn to stay focused.

It is so easy to get distracted when I don’t take this time each day. For me it is something I do early in my day before the volume gets turned up. I also find that if I take time at the end of my day and reflect on how I was helped throughout the day, it is easier to have a grateful heart. When I find that I am being distracted away from what is important, I can stop for a few minutes of quiet reflection and get refocused. Do I seek out direction for what is most important in my life?

Meditations for the Heart

When seeking understanding of God, it is important to ask the right questions. It is easy to get caught up in asking ourselves, “What do I want God to be?” Perhaps a better question to ask is, “Am I open to let God reveal Himself to me?” God is who He is. To try and make God fit into a mold and be what we want is a silly attempt to try and control God. This is not to say that we cannot imagine the attributes that God has. Personally I find that it is easy for me now to see God as a friend. He cares and is also willing to be brutally honest with me. This has not always been my understanding, but one I had to grow into. This growth only occurred when I was willing to be open to God's showing me who and what He is. Have I stopped trying to make God into what I want Him to be?

Petitions to my Higher Power

God,
Today as I start my day, let me think about You as a friend. Help me to be open to Your showing me how to grow in my faith. Let me remain focused on that which is important in my life. Help me to look to You in all that I do this day and to thank You for all that You do for me each day.
Amen.

bluidkiti
11-10-2015, 07:22 AM
November 10

Wisdom for Today

In Step Three of the Twelve Step program we are asked to practice a simple principle – letting go. A story I heard once at a meeting illustrates this point beautifully. There were two men hired by a company to do manual labor. On the first day of the job, the foreman took the men outside and pointed to a large box of tools and told them to move the box to the storage shed. The two men looked at the box and walked over to it. Each one tried to pick up the box by himself, but neither man could do this. They thought about carrying the tools one at a time, but the foreman had wanted the job done quickly; so they finally agreed to help each other. They were able to accomplish the task quickly. Some people think the story should end here, but it does not.

After work the two men began their long walk home. One of the men commented that his back hurt from lifting the box of tools. He said, “That foreman should have never asked us to carry such a heavy load.” The other man just smiled. After walking for almost two miles, the one man said that his back was really starting to hurt a lot. The other man just smiled. After walking for almost four miles, the man whose back was hurting said, “I don’t think I can make it back to town; my back is killing me. You will have to go on without me.” His friend looked at him and smiled and said, “Your back aches because you are still carrying the box. I let go hours ago when we put the box down.” Do I really let go, or do I continue to carry the load?

Meditations for the Heart

At some point in time in our recovery we all must face this struggle. Old habits are hard to break. We surrender these old habits and behaviors to God and ask that He help us with the load. We must learn to let go and not keep carrying the heavy load in our lives. We cannot carry the load of addiction ourselves. We must surrender this to our Higher Power. I believe that this process of letting go is harder than admitting that we have a problem. Yet it is in this step that we find freedom. Addiction is the only game in town that we win by giving up. Am I still trying to run the show my way?

Petitions to my Higher Power

God,
I am quick to go back and pick up the heavy load of addiction in my life. Help me to let go absolutely and entrust this heavy weight to You. Help me to stay focused on the freedom that comes with working the steps. Guide me along the path as I journey throughout this day.
Amen.

bluidkiti
11-11-2015, 07:30 AM
November 11

Wisdom for Today

The Bible tells the story of the "Prodigal Son." In real life I lived this same story. I took my life and wasted it on insane living. Everything of any value to me was being destroyed by my addiction. Drinking and drugging led me down a path to destruction. After I had lost my family and my self-respect and anything that resembled hope, I had nowhere to turn. Everything was gone. "When he came to his senses, he said, I will go to my father." This is what an addict or an alcoholic does in the Twelve Step program. I had lost all hope; there was nowhere else to turn. I had to turn to a Power outside of myself.

Sometimes I wonder what caused me to turn to my senses. Somehow in the middle of my insanity, I turned back and looked for an answer. It was not inside of me. Everything I had tried didn't work. It had to be outside of me. I came to believe that I was not the answer. Sanity and wisdom returned. In defeat I found victory. In surrender I found hope and a way out. Have I stopped looking to myself for a way out?

Meditations for the Heart

"Keep it simple, stupid," is a slogan that teaches us that when we complicate life and lose sight of simplicity, I can take my troubles and blow them way out of proportion. I have found that simplicity is a way to unburden myself of heavy loads. When I face my problems honestly and carry them to my Higher Power, I find that I am rewarded with answers or directions for making my problems better. Believe me, it is not always easy to do this; but this simple concept does work. When I try to be my own Higher Power and run the show my way, my problems invariably get worse. When I retreat into denial or pretend that my problems don't exist, eventually they get worse. But when I surrender them to God and ask for His help, things change for the better. They don't always change the way I would expect, but change happens, and the problems do get better. Do I see the simplicity of surrender?

Petitions to my Higher Power

God,
Sometimes I still wander off the path of recovery. I don't drink or use, but I loose sight of the steps and keeping it simple. Each time I do this, things get crazy for me again. I am so grateful that I can turn back to You, God, over and over again to be led back to the path of recovery. Help me keep things simple today.
Amen.

bluidkiti
11-12-2015, 07:11 AM
November 12

Wisdom for Today

The alcoholic and addict face many deaths throughout their using career. There is death of relationships, death of careers, death of dreams and in some cases physical death. There is death of our spiritual self and death of who we are. When I was drinking and using, I lost sight of the "real" me and walked around wearing this mask. In recovery I had to rid myself of this mask and once again find the real me. I can remember the day when the tears flowed, and I realized that all that was important to me was dead. I turned to a Higher Power for help, because I knew I could not help myself. I had to find a way to take the mask off and once again face reality.

In the old spiritual song, "Amazing Grace," there is a line that goes, "I once was lost, but now I found, was blind, but now I see." I did not see so well with the mask on. I had become lost. I had experienced many types of death in my life. In the Twelve Step program I found a way out. My life was restored. Once again I could breathe, and there was a new hope for me. In turning my life over to God, I found myself again. The real me was still there. It had been lost, but in surrender I found the real me again. Am I alive again because of the program?

Meditations for the Heart

Every breath I take is a gift. In working the program, I cannot ignore the spiritual aspects of my growth. I need to breathe in the Spirit, who will guide me in all that I do. God's will enables me to accomplish much, for there is little I can do on my own. If I do that which is the will of God, I know and can be confident that my day will be good. Even when problems do exist, when I breathe in this Spirit, I am assured of not being given more than I can handle. Life does not always go the way I would expect or even the way I want; but when I am working my program and have a strong spiritual foundation, I know that God will care for me. When I let my spirit be in harmony with God's Spirit, I trust that we will make wonderful music together. Do I work to keep my spirit in harmony with God's Spirit?

Petitions to my Higher Power

God,
Let me walk through this day with good sight. Help me to have no desire to put my mask back on. Let me not forget the deaths I have already experienced. Give me courage to live this new life in You and in every breath I take.
Amen.

bluidkiti
11-13-2015, 06:12 AM
November 13

Wisdom for Today

In recovery the task is not to "get well," but getting well. There is no cure for our disease; it can only be arrested. Our ability to stop drinking and using is not determined by what we do, but by God's grace. However, our ability to stay clean and sober is in large part determined by our willingness to go to meetings, work the steps (all of them) and following where our Higher Power leads us. We have to walk the walk; God reads the road map. If I begin to think that some day I will be well and able to drink or use normally again, I am already in trouble. However, if I think about how to follow God's will for me and pray for power to carry out His wishes, then I will be on the path moving toward getting well. Recovery is about progress and not perfection.

The good news is that I only need to worry about this for twenty-four hours at a time. I know that the experience of thousands of addicts and alcoholics does not lie. Each of us that works a program can indeed make progress toward getting well. Sometimes this progress is slow and painful. At other times it happens so quickly that it seems as if our lives get completely turned upside down. Regardless of how the progress is made, it is still progress. The promises of the Twelve Step program await us all, but we must work for them with the help of our Higher Power. Am I working the program one day at a time?

Meditations for the Heart

It was a good thing that I was so stubborn when I was using. I would not let anything or anyone get in the way of my goal to get drunk or high. You may ask how this was a good thing. Certainly my drinking and drugging simply destroyed everything in my life. It is not the using that I am talking about. It is the stubborn part. I knew deep in my heart that I had an ability to persevere. This has helped me a lot throughout all of my recovery process so far. I knew if I persevered in all that God guided me to do, I would end up on the right side of progress. There have been times when I grew tired or even felt like I wasn't getting anywhere. But if I remained persistent, then things started to change or improve. Sometimes the thing that I needed to be most persistent in was trusting my Higher Power. As long as I kept my hope in God, as I understand Him, I could not fail. Am I as stubborn about my recovery as I was about getting high?

Petitions to my Higher Power

God,
Today I want to be persistent in my journey. Help me to persevere in my endeavors to follow where You lead me. Give me strength to carry out the tasks set before me and help me remember I only need to do this one day at a time. Help me to keep my sights on the promises that the program offers and the promises that You offer me as well.
Amen.

bluidkiti
11-13-2015, 12:43 PM
November 14

Wisdom for Today

It sure was a crazy ride I was on. The roller coaster of addiction took me up and threw me down. It spun me in circles and flipped me upside down. What made the ride crazy rather than exciting was the fact that I just couldn’t get off the ride. It just kept going around and around. It became a hell on earth for me. I am not talking about all the bad things that happened or problems that occurred, but I am talking about the separation from God. While I was on this roller coaster, I never thought about my relationship with a Higher Power. Sure, like all addicts and alcoholics, I prayed, “God, if you get me out of this one, I will never do it again.” But I really was not interested in what God’s will for me was.

The reality was I couldn’t get off the roller coaster, and only God could get me off the insane ride. I truly consider myself one of the fortunate ones. The AA Big Book says, “There are such unfortunates. They seem to be born that way. But they, too, can get clean and sober, if they have the capacity to be honest.” Everything changed for me when I admitted I couldn’t get off the roller coaster. Nothing I did would make it stop. Only when I surrendered to a Power Greater than myself did the insanity stop. Do I realize honestly that I am fortunate to be off the roller coaster of addiction?

Meditations for the Heart

There is an old prayer that begins, “Lord, make me an instrument of thy peace.” In the program it is important for us to realize that we are simply instruments. In spiritual matters it is important for us to be the best instrument we can be. In my addiction, I kept trying to be the conductor leading the orchestra. The music I was making was awful. In recovery I need to be open to God’s plan for me. I need to let Him choose the musical score, and I need to let Him choose how and when I will be played. As I go to meetings, I have seen hundreds and hundreds of alcoholics and addicts making wonderful music together. It is not my job to play every note, just to play my part. Do I work to be an instrument of my Higher Power’s will for me?

Petitions to my Higher Power

God,
It all begins with honesty and willingness and openness. You have taught me over and over again that the only way I can make beautiful music is to become willing to let You direct and lead the orchestra. Help me to be a good instrument today.
Amen.

bluidkiti
11-13-2015, 12:44 PM
November 15

Wisdom for Today

Before deciding to quit completely, I felt like I had been caught in a steel trap. I was in a lot of pain because of the crisis that occurred. That convinced me to look for help. I was angry that I had even stepped into this trap. I wanted to find someone or something to blame for setting the trap in the first place. But most of all I was scared, because I knew I couldn’t open the jaws of this trap. Death seemed like a legitimate option. I didn’t know where to turn for help.

I knew this was something that I could not do on my own. All I knew was that I wanted out of the trap. The program showed me a way out. First, I had to admit I couldn’t get out of the trap. Then I had to believe that God could and would open the jaws of this steel trap. Then the steps led me through a time of healing and repair. And finally I had to learn how not to step into the trap again. I did not free myself, but was set free though the steps. Yet with this new freedom came much responsibility. I needed to follow the suggestions of the program. Do I remain thankful for the new freedom I have in recovery?

Meditations for the Heart

I must have a singleness of purpose in spiritual matters. This is to seek out and follow the will of my Higher Power. In all that I do I must become willing to follow His lead. It is easy to get distracted from this singleness of purpose with things of the material world. But I cannot afford to be distracted because when I am, I put myself at risk. I start walking in places that I should not be. I start thinking in ways that will get me in trouble. I cannot allow “my addict” back out to play. I have been in the trap of active addiction and dare not risk stepping back into the jaws of that steel trap. The only way I know to do this is to have this singleness of purpose in my life. Am I learning just how important spirituality is in my recovery?

Petitions to my Higher Power

God,
Let me start this day in gratitude for the new freedom I have. Help me to take responsibility for working the steps in all that I do. Grant me this day spiritual wisdom to follow where I am led. Let me not be afraid to ask You for direction along the way.
Amen.

bluidkiti
11-16-2015, 07:09 AM
November 16

Wisdom for Today

So the next question was an easy one. Now that I'm out of the trap, how do I make sure that I don't step back into it again? None of us can ever say that we will never fall back into that steel trap, but the program teaches us how to stay out of the trap of addiction one day at a time. By actively participating in regular meetings, I was able to develop relationships with other addicts and alcoholics, just like me. In this fellowship I learned that each of us had fallen victim to the steel jaws of addiction. I was encouraged to share my story and talk about my struggles. I listened intently to others talk about how they used the steps to find and hang on to freedom. I learned over time that if I wanted to hang onto the gift of recovery, I would need to give it away.

So, even though I didn't know much, I began to talk about how the program was helping me. I began to share those stories of success and the stories of setbacks. The more I shared, the more I realized that I was changing. As I became aware of these changes, I wanted to thank everyone at meetings over and over again. Each time I did, I was redirected to my Higher Power and was told that was Whom I needed to thank. I was taken back by these comments, but what really surprised me was when members of the fellowship told me that they weren't trying to help me, but were trying to help themselves. That is when I finally understood the healthy, selfish part of the program. Do I believe that God wants me to take care of myself?

Meditations for the Heart

Sometimes I jokingly say, "I have had at least 16 seconds of serenity in my recovery, and not all at once." There haven't been long periods of time that I would call mountain top experiences - times when I am at peace with God, others and myself all at the same time. But I can say that as I grasped the spiritual aspects of the program, I began to have regular and even daily times when I was calm and knew that I was in a good place. This did not mean I was problem free; it just meant that for periods of time in my day I knew that God was watching out for me and making sure I had what I needed. It is almost like my soul finds a place to rest in the day even though I am surrounded by my problems. In this place of rest and security, I know that I can find calmness of spirit. Do I look for a place to rest in my Higher Power's arms?

Petitions to my Higher Power

God,
Sometimes, it is easy for me to get caught up in the race of life. Help me to know that I can always find a place of rest in You. Keep me open to the opportunities to carry the message to others, and help me to change my attitude from pride and selfishness to one of humility and gratitude. Help me today to carry the message, so that I might care for myself in a healthy way.
Amen.

bluidkiti
11-17-2015, 07:44 AM
November 17

Wisdom for Today

When I first came into the program, I was overwhelmed by the thought of never drinking or using drugs again. The thoughts of “forever” seemed like too much to handle. Fortunately, I learned quickly that all I needed to do was stay focused on today. There was nothing I could do about all the yesterdays, when I repeatedly failed to clean up my act. I also didn’t need to worry about all the tomorrows, as they never happen. When tomorrow arrives, it will be today. All I needed to do was take it one day at a time.

In the early going, even one day was tough at times. Some days I struggled with cravings and urges to use. Other days it was the confusing emotions that seemed to come out of nowhere. Sometimes my thinking was simply messed up. I struggled with giving up behaviors, people, things and places. The one thing I didn’t struggle with was knowing that I was powerless; I had ample evidence that my life was unmanageable. My way didn’t work. I really needed to rely on the fellowship to help me though those early struggles. I slowly began to put one 24-hour period after another together. Days became weeks, and weeks became months. Over time it has become easier to live life one day at a time. Do I work at staying in today, rather than trying to undo the past or live in the fantasy of tomorrow?

Meditations for the Heart

Persistent preparation is what the spiritual life in recovery is all about. I need constantly to work at preparing myself for the day by practicing the principles of the program. Persistent prayer is one way I try to prepare myself for the day ahead. My prayers change over time. Sometimes they are filled with requests for guidance. Other times I look for strength to handle my life in the moment. Sometimes it is about seeking willingness and other times about gratitude. But it is not just prayer that prepares me spiritually. I also need to put my program into action. I need to work the steps. I need to carry the message. You may ask what I am preparing for. Well, I am preparing for the promises – joy, peace, health, security, serenity and happiness. Anything is possible in the spiritual realm of recovery. Am I preparing my life for the promises of recovery?

Petitions to my Higher Power

God,

“Today” – this is a word I need to better understand. Help me to realize that all that is important for me in this life happens in today. Let me walk forward into this day with knowledge of Your will for me. Give me the strength I need to accomplish the tasks You set before me. Let me always work at preparing myself for the promises of recovery.
Amen.

bluidkiti
11-18-2015, 06:47 AM
November 18

Wisdom for Today

When I first stopped drinking and using drugs, my whole being needed to focus on staying clean and sober. But it wasn’t long before I began to hear some familiar voices from the past. Guilt, shame and remorse quickly came back into the picture. Fear also crept back into my life. These familiar voices used to whisper in my ear and give me reason for using. Now that I had stopped drinking and drugging, these same voices were back, only they were shouting at me. I was so ashamed of all the things I had done when I was wasted. I was afraid to look my family and friends in the eye. I felt guilty because of how I wronged them. My life had so much to regret.

Without the program I know I would have had no chance to stand up to these voices from the past. The program helped me to see that who I was as a person was not the same thing as what I had done. I began to see that God, as I understood Him, could and would forgive me. I began to see that I could forgive myself. I slowly learned that as long as I worked honestly to stay clean and sober, I could change how I felt about myself. More importantly, if I surrendered my will and followed the will of my Higher Power not only did my self-perception change, but the way other people looked at me would also change. Do I recognize that no matter how dark my life was, God can turn a new light on for me?

Meditations for the Heart

As I walk through this day and along the path of recovery, it is important that I realize that God walks with me. There is nothing that I think, do or say that my Higher Power does not know about. When I feel fear, shame, guilt or remorse, I know that I am not alone. I can have no secrets from God. I cannot hide from His presence. It is easy to get wrapped up in trying to please others or to look good to the people I interact with every day. It is easy to try and conform my ways to the ways of the world around me. When I do this, I am not turning my will and my life over to the care of my Higher Power. Instead I am turning it over to the world around me. This is not something I can afford to do. I need to stay focused on His will for me and pray for the power to carry out His will. Do I realize I will only find lasting peace when I follow the will of my Higher Power?

Petitions to my Higher Power

God,
Today let me stay cognizant of Your presence. Help me to accept not only the gift of recovery that You provide, but also the gift of forgiveness. Help me to remember that no secrets can be hidden from You. Let me see that You see in secret but reward openly.
Amen.

bluidkiti
11-19-2015, 07:25 AM
November 19

Wisdom for Today

When things got their worst, I really felt hopeless. I spent time in worry about my future. Was I going to end up locked up somewhere? Would I end up in some mental hospital? Would I end up dead? Worry was such terrible mental torment. What was going to happen to me if I couldn't find a way out of the madness of addiction? I knew there was nothing I could do to find a way out on my own. It was a scary but simple choice. I could end it all in suicide, or I could ask for help.

In desperation I reached out for help and found what I was looking for. In the program a new hope was born, and I actually began to believe that my life could turn out okay. The thing that still baffles me is the fact that I still find it difficult at times to ask for help. After years of evidence that asking for help works, I still find myself at times backing myself into a corner. Why is asking for help so hard? I think the answer to that question is different for each of us. Sometimes it is pride or arrogance. Sometimes it is simply foolishness or lack of commonsense. Sometimes it is fear of letting someone else know. Regardless of the reason, it is only when we come back to a place of surrender and honestly and humbly reach out that we find help. One day at a time my goal is to remember this. Do I still find it hard to ask for help?

Meditations for the Heart

One act of surrender is the act of obedience. When I walk though my day and ignore the directions that my Higher Power provides, I end up in trouble. When I follow the guidance I am given, I find that life goes much easier. In my addiction I always wanted to break the rules or at least bend them. I pretended that they did not apply to me. This is something I can't afford to do in recovery. It is too easy to get off the path of recovery if I do not obey the rules. Yes, I know that in the program you are told that there are no rules, only suggestions. But these suggestions are a matter of life and death. So whether you see them as rules or only suggestions, surrender involves the act of obedience. Sometimes I do not always like the suggestions I am given; yet in surrender I still need to be willing to follow the guidance I am given. Do I practice obedience, or do I want to still bend the rules?

Petitions to my Higher Power

God,
Help me stay open to all the suggestions I am given and recognize that Your direction comes to me though many different channels. Let me hear the words of Your guidance and be willing to obey and follow where You lead. Let me not forget that You care about me and will lead me to a good place.
Amen.

bluidkiti
11-20-2015, 08:18 AM
November 20

Wisdom for Today

In the program I have learned many valuable lessons. Perhaps one of the most important is to let the future take care of itself. Everything works out well as long as I stay clean and sober and work my program. All I really need to focus on is today. I no longer need to worry about tomorrow. Now if this sounds like staying clean and sober means that I will never have problems in the future, this is not true. The problems I do have in recovery are certainly better than the problems I had when I was drinking and getting wasted. And any new problems I may experience in the future, I know that I have the tools to deal with them.

Each morning I wake up and start a new day, I can be grateful for the day I was just given. Any problem that I have, I can be grateful knowing that the steps and the fellowship can help me get through. This does not mean that every problem I have will be solved the way I would want them to; it just means that I know God will give me the strength and guidance to deal with any problem I experience. I know this to be true because I have had many difficult problems cross my desk in recovery. Time and time again, I find that I am given what I need to deal with these problems. Have I stopped worrying about tomorrow?

Meditations for the Heart

It's all good! This does not mean that everything is fundamentally good on the surface of things. What is does mean is that my Higher Power cares about me and that He has found a purpose for me in this life. I continue to be surprised by the ways that God leads me, and I am amazed at how He puts me to work. I have come to believe that God indeed has a plan for me. I do not always understand what this plan is when it is happening, but I am amazed when the plan not only works but also makes sense. Even when I have struggled in some difficult situations, I am given the strength to handle them. I learn from these struggles, and I share my stories, and I trust that God will use these stories to help others. I trust this because I know I have benefited from the stories of others. The world does not always make sense, and often times is filled with pain, but one thing I am sure of is that His plan for me makes sense and ultimately will bring me peace and serenity. Am I willing to trust God's plan for me?

Petitions to my Higher Power

God,
I trust that You have a plan for me. Let me be willing to follow the directions I am given. Let me follow Your lead one day at a time. Today, I will walk down a pathway in my recovery. Help me to trust that this journey is planned by You.
Amen.

bluidkiti
11-20-2015, 08:20 AM
November 21

Wisdom for Today

When I first walked through the doors of a meeting to get sober, I had only one question on my mind, "Alright, so what do I need to do to stop drinking and drugging?" I had no idea how to do this and even less of an idea of where I would find the strength to do it. I was too afraid to ask this question out loud, but somehow knew the answer was in that room. As I looked around, I saw the faces of older members who had found the answer to my question. Where did they get the answer? I listened to members speak one after another and heard strength in their voices. Where did the strength come from?

What did I have to do to get what they had? At the end of the meeting, everyone chimed in, "It works if you work it; keep coming back." And so I did -- kept coming back, that is. Slowly I began to realize that the source of strength that each of these older members had come in different ways. Some talked of the words of wisdom that their sponsor shared. Others talked of the steps, and still others talked of the gift that had been given them by their Higher Power. As days went by, I soon discovered that this strength I was seeking comes in many ways. I needed to find what worked for me. Now that I have a few 24 hours under my belt, I can see that the strength comes from the same source. It just takes on lots of different faces. To quote the Big Book, "That one is God; may you find Him now." Do I see all the faces of God at meetings?

Meditations of the Heart

What needs do I have that God cannot fill? God can and does supply all our needs. The fundamental needs of an addict or alcoholic are spiritual. We can do nothing without the help of a Higher Power. Yes, over time in recovery we regain our health, perhaps our families and jobs, our freedom and even a sense of self-esteem. But none of these things are as important as our spiritual well being. When I can take what I have learned and give it away, then I am in a good place to receive what God has in His plans for me. Through this simple act - caring for others, we learn how to care for ourselves. Through sharing our struggles, defeats and triumphs, we gain strength. It is selfish. I do this to help myself. Yet in this selfishness, I help others. In gaining strength, I can do more for my family. I can be a better worker, and I can be a better person. And so it goes, the supply of my spiritual needs is met. God plans it that way. Am I willing to help others in order to help myself?

Petitions to my Higher Power

God,
Every day I have needs, and every day You show me how to fill them. I do not always get what I want, but I trust that You know what I need. Help me to use the strength I receive to share with and care about others. Let me follow You on the road to spiritual health.
Amen.

bluidkiti
11-20-2015, 08:21 AM
November 22

Wisdom for Today

Strength comes to us through the fellowship. Simply being with so many other addicts and alcoholics who are making it brings me a sense of security. I remember suddenly feeling like I was not trying to do this thing called recovery – alone. As I would listen to speakers at open meetings, I would hear things I could relate to. It gave me a sense that I was not unique. Others just like me found the way. At closed meetings I would hear about everyday struggles and triumphs; but more importantly I witnessed recovery in action. Simply seeing others making it one day at a time gave me a sense of hope.

I began to get a sense of strength and hope as I had others come to me after meetings to share their genuine concerns about what was going on in my life. I also had others that would share with me that something I had said helped them. I was given permission to seek and find the answers that were right for me. I could choose a Higher Power that worked for me. I really began to get a sense that by talking with and listening to others I was becoming stronger. The hours became days, and the days became weeks. The 24-hours started to add up. Do I recognize that there is strength in being an active part of the fellowship?

Meditations for the Heart

As ancient armies marched into battle, the drummers would bang on their drums. The trumpeters would blast from their horns, and the soldiers would scream their battle cry. This provided a sense of unity and purpose - to gain victory over the oppressor. In recovery we need to have a battle cry as well. Mine has become, “God is with me, and He has all power.” I have repeated these words often to myself in my battle with addiction. Even after I won a battle by establishing abstinence, I still scream out my battle cry as I struggle with character defects, or making amends or simply to strengthen my faith. I bang the drum when I talk openly about the steps and, “How It Works.” I blast the trumpet each time I can say to others, “It works.” The war is not over, and I am sure there will be other battles to fight, but I know all I need to do is be the best soldier I can be.” Am I being a good soldier in the army of those fighting for recovery?

Petitions to my Higher Power

God,
Today, I know that my strength will be renewed over and over again. As I interact with You as my Higher Power, and as I interact with the other soldiers who battle for recovery, keep me strong in the unity and purpose of the fellowship. Let me rely on the battle cry as my energy for ultimate victory.
Amen.

bluidkiti
11-22-2015, 08:23 PM
November 23

Wisdom for Today

It was like a light switch was suddenly turned on, and I could see just how messy my house had become. Early in the recovery process, I learned that honesty brought my addiction into this light. By sharing my story and all the troubles my addiction had led me into, I gained strength. By talking about the hospitals, jails and the demise of my family, I started the process of cleaning house. By sharing the money problems and all the foolish things I had done and talking about my suicidal behavior when I was wasted, I uncovered more and more of what had been hidden.

As I brought more and more of my life and addiction into the open, I gained both a sense of relief and a sense of strength. At first, I was worried that I would be judged and looked down on; but as I shared, I found more and more people that had experiences in common with me. I found out I was not alone. The strength I found in knowing this was very empowering. By witnessing my personal struggles and defeat at the hands of addiction, I became stronger. Do I recognize the strength I receive simply by sharing my story?

Meditations for the Heart

By sharing the events of my life as an addict and alcoholic, I managed to start the house cleaning. But I knew there was more dirt and clutter hiding in the closets and under the rugs in my home. Simply stopping drinking and drugging and sharing my story were not all that I needed to do. This surface cleaning was only the beginning. There still were all the secrets. If I was to move forward in my recovery, I needed more strength; and I needed more faith. I had my own understanding of the world. Everything fit into a nice, neat package. But when the light switch of honesty was turned on, I suddenly realized that my beliefs were limited. The truth was that there was much that I didn’t understand or comprehend. There was much that I simply had to take on faith. Have I surrendered my old ways of thinking and accepted that I do not have all the answers?

Petitions to my Higher Power

God,
It has been amazing to me how this program works. By sharing all the ugly aspects of my addiction, You have made me stronger. By admitting my weakness, I have found strength and hope. By accepting that I am not god, I have been opened to accepting that You are God.
Amen.

bluidkiti
11-23-2015, 07:00 AM
November 24

Wisdom for Today

Perhaps the best strength I have found in the program has come from trusting in a Power greater than I. Early in my life I had the concept of God introduced to me, and I had heard all the stories of God through all my involvement in organized religion. Yet, during all those addiction filled years, I somehow lost any relationship that I had with God. I saw people at meetings who repeatedly told me they could not define God for me or tell me how to rebuild this relationship. But what they didn't realize was that simply seeing their example and listening to their words taught me an awful lot about God, as I now understand Him. I could see how the Higher Power was helping these individuals. It helped me to believe that God wanted to help me.

Prayer was also something that I had little idea of how to do other than those I had memorized as a child. I began to recognize that if I wanted a personal relationship with God, I would need to talk with Him. And so I began, quite awkwardly at first, to stumble through very simple prayers. I began to talk about what was going on in my life and asking for direction. Unfortunately listening for the answer was often times even tougher. I spoke with others in the fellowship and asked what they did to listen to their Higher Power. I heard many different answers, but in hindsight this was good. It forced me to look for my own answers as to how to listen to God. Does my belief in a Power Greater than myself give me strength?

Meditations for the Heart

Developing skills takes practice. This is true also with spiritual skills. When I continually seek after God's will for me and I seek to follow His lead, I begin this process of spiritual development. At first it seemed that there was this huge wall between God and myself. But just as water causes erosion, practice of spiritual principles slowly eroded that wall. I now realize that this wall was erected by my actions, beliefs and thinking when I was drinking and using. Today I can see that I did not take down this wall, but God in His love for me crumbled every stone in that wall. Today I need to be persistent in my spiritual development and never falter. I need to seek to go boldly forward and continue to be unafraid of where God will lead me. One thing I have learned is that if I seek to do His will and ask for power to carry this out, God will indeed care for me and lead me in a good direction. Am I developing my spiritual skills?

Petitions to my Higher Power

God,
I have come to recognize that my relationship with You is a personal one. Help me be open to improving my spiritual skills by continually bringing my concerns to You. Let me daily remember to give You thanks for all that You do in my life. Give me ears to listen to Your Divine wisdom.
Amen.

bluidkiti
11-24-2015, 03:41 AM
November 25

Wisdom for Today

Strength comes from giving it away. I remember very early in my recovery process, I told my sponsor I wanted to help others. It was as if I was on fire to give away what I was receiving. Fortunately my sponsor very quietly told me to hang onto that feeling and save it for later. He knew that this fire inside of me could easily be extinguished. I did what my sponsor told me to do. I saved it for later and continued to concentrate on myself. Some time later I was at a meeting, and a newcomer walked in. My sponsor winked at me and told me to go and welcome him. I offered the newcomer a cup of coffee and proceeded to tell him about the time when I first came to a meeting. I could see he was scared, but what surprised me was that I could see myself in his eyes.

That night I learned a very important lesson. I learned that as I was trying to help this newcomer, my resolve to stay clean and sober grew stronger. I realized for the first time that I had something that I did not want to lose. The newcomer kept coming back for several weeks, and then I never saw him again. At first I worried about him. I talked with my sponsor, feeling as though I had failed. Again there were words of wisdom that came from my sponsor's mouth. He said, "You are only responsible for carrying the message; you can't carry the other guy." He was right again and again. I learned that in helping others I am really helping myself. For the first time I think I really understood what the fellowship is really all about. We help others to help ourselves. Am I finding renewed strength by reaching out to help others?

Meditations for the Heart

Faith is a narrow path between God and you. This path only exists because God wants it there. Sometimes I have wondered why this path is so narrow. It is so easy to wander away from the path. I cannot explain why God wants the path this way. If I had all these answers, I would not need faith. And so I trust that God knows what He is doing. So my faith requires me to stay focused on this narrow path, so that I can maintain this walk with my Higher Power. In some ways it is not so different from when I was getting drunk or was using drugs. I had a singleness of vision. All I wanted then was to get high. It was a very narrow path. It is much the same now. All I want is a relationship with my Higher Power. So I walk a narrow path. Do I keep my vision on my relationship with God, as I understand Him?

Petitions to my Higher Power

God,
Each day You present me with new opportunities to build up my faith and renew my strength. When the time is right, lead me on a path to helping newcomers. Help me to keep my focus on the narrow path and walk hand in hand with You today.
Amen.

bluidkiti
11-25-2015, 03:13 AM
November 26

Wisdom for Today

We also find strength in our failures. I know this sounds strange, but it is true. Throughout my recovery process, I have had a variety of setbacks and challenges in which I experienced failure. I am not talking about relapse, although this was a part of my experience, too. What I am talking about are the everyday failures we all experience. As I worked my way though the steps, I have fallen flat on my face on more than one occasion. As I struggled with my Fourth Step, I found it hard to be rigorously honest. In facing my character defects, I learned that some of them I liked and did not want to give them up, or I didn't know how. In making amends, I found some old resentments. All along the way I have found periods of failure. Yet in these failures I also found the strength to try again and again until I found success. In each of these failures, I was forced to go back to my Higher Power and ask for help again, and each time I was given new strength.

Personally I have come to believe that life was not meant to be one success after another. It is filled with both success and failure. One thing I have learned is that I need to turn to God in both the times of success and the times of defeat. In my success I must be grateful to my Higher Power for showing me the way. In failure I am taken back to the essence of Step Three. I turn it over, and I am given the courage to try again. This spiritual principle is one of the wonders of life in recovery. If I entrust both my success and failures to my Higher Power, I am sure to come out okay in the long run. The strength that is gained is both from gratitude for what Our Higher Power does for us and for what we cannot do on our own. Wondrously our Higher Power even celebrates with us when we find success. Do I learn from my failures and ask God for strength to try again?

Meditations for the Heart

Where does this wonderful power and strength come from? Men conquer nations, and men become great leaders. Some people become very wealthy, and others become famous. But these things all pass. The power I am talking about is the power to conquer self. Within my being is an addict and alcoholic that is always trying to come out and take control again. Yet I can say that just for today, I do not need to let the addict out to play. I do not have to let the alcoholic take control again. God's power is the greatest power in the universe, and He is willing to share this wonderful power with me. It is free for the asking. Each time I ask, I am rewarded with one more victory in this life of recovery. Sometimes the victories are small, and other times it seems as though mountains have been moved for me. Do I see God's power working for me in my everyday life?

Petitions to my Higher Power

God,
I pray that I may open myself to the power that You provide. Give me courage to learn from my failures, and help me to find the power to conquer self. Let me turn to You for direction each step that I take on this pathway of recovery.
Amen.

bluidkiti
11-25-2015, 03:14 AM
November 27

Wisdom for Today

When I first walked through the doors of a meeting, I thought that is all it was - a meeting. What I didn't realize was that what I was really walking into was a new way of life. At first I simply thought I would learn how to stop my active addiction and that would be it. But it didn't take long to figure out that this was just the beginning. Today I am amazed at the changes I see happen in the lives of the people who adopt this way of living. Every so often I stop long enough to look at myself and see the changes that have happened in my life because of this program.

As I look back, I can see just how selfish I had become. Everything revolved around me and my desires. If things weren't going my way I would con and manipulate to get what I wanted. When my way didn't work, I would get mad; or I would throw a temper tantrum. I acted just like a child. I would even isolate and sulk when nothing else would work. Just like a spoiled child, I had to have things my way. Sometimes my actions were very visible to those around me. I hurt a lot of people along the way. At other times I was sneakier, but always the goal was the same - to get things my way. Have I stopped trying to run the show my way?

Meditations for the Heart

As I began to let go of my old way of thinking and began to adopt a new way of life, I felt like I was missing something. I wasn't sure what it was at first, but soon realized that what I was missing was confidence. Then my sponsor told me that confidence is simply faith in that which is not seen. He asked me if I believed in a million dollars. I told him that I knew it existed. Then he asked me if I had ever seen a million dollars or held it in my hand. I, of course, said, “No.” My sponsor responded, "But you believe in it even though you have never seen it." He went on to tell me that I could have all the confidence I ever wanted if I only believed in a Higher Power, who would provide me that confidence. He was right, because as I started to believe that I could have this gift, I indeed received it. My sponsor then cautioned me, you could only keep this confidence if you are willing to obey the directions of your Higher Power. A confidant faith and a willingness to follow my Higher Power has indeed created change in my life. Do I see that all successful living only happens in and with my Higher Power?

Petitions to my Higher Power

God,
I pray that I may follow Your lead along this path of recovery. Let me walk with You hand in hand each step of the way. Continue to provide me with confidence, as I still need it. Help me to remember always where this confidence comes from, and grant me willingness to obey Your will for me.
Amen.

bluidkiti
11-27-2015, 06:38 AM
November 28

Wisdom for Today

When I was active in my addiction, I was also very active in my being dishonest. I would lie to my family about where I was and what I was doing. I would lie to get money to buy drugs and alcohol. I would lie to my employer and call in sick. I would lie about my lies and would lie so that I could hide. I would lie to my friends, and I would lie to my children. Most of all, I lied to myself. It seemed that facing the reality of what I had become and myself was so distasteful that I would do anything to deceive myself and hide from the truth. There was a small part of me that somehow knew that I was damaged. I could not admit this to anyone, most of all I could not admit it to myself.

I got clean and sober, but to my surprise the lying did not automatically stop. "What do you mean be honest with my sponsor; how can I trust him? He's just another drunk." Developing a manner of living that demands rigorous honesty has been perhaps the hardest part of the recovery process for me. It was hard admitting to others and myself that I was an alcoholic and an addict. It was even harder to get honest about all my dark secrets. Dishonesty clearly was and still can be one of my biggest character defects. Learning to admit when I am wrong and learning that hiding only hurts me has not been easy. Fortunately recovery is about progress and not perfection. I have come a long way with my ability to be honest. But I also honestly know I am not done with this. Recovery is not so much about immediately being honest, but it is about becoming honest. Am I becoming more honest today than I was yesterday?

Meditations for the Heart

Each of us must face up to moments of truth -- times when we are confronted with the urge to lie, cover things up, misrepresent or just plain hide. The compulsion that an addict experiences when we want to lie is incredibly strong. Yet in these moments of truth, we can choose to do what is right. We can choose to do what our Higher Power would want us to do. Yes, sometimes this means that there will be consequences for our actions or behavior, but the consequence of dishonesty is by far greater. All those things we have regained as a result of God's gift of recovery can be lost again. The trust we re-establish in recovery can be blown away by the winds of deceit. The self-respect we regain can be destroyed in the flood of dishonesty. The very essence of freedom can be lost in the chains of manipulation. This character defect, above all others, can make recovery disappear in a brief moment. It can fester like an infected sore for a long time until finally it brings death to all that is important to us. Am I working on becoming more and more honest with others and myself?

Petitions to my Higher Power

God,
Today I can see clearly how destructive dishonesty has been and still can be in my life. Help me to find the courage to do Your will when I face those moments of truth. Teach me the benefits and the wisdom that comes with honesty. Let me become willing to let go of this defect of character.
Amen.

bluidkiti
11-27-2015, 06:39 AM
November 29

Wisdom for Today

When I was active in my addiction, I had an ego a mile wide. Everything was about me and what I wanted. I had an arrogance about life that somehow life owed me something. I acted as if I was more important than others. Certainly when it came to my family, I did not act in a loving or caring manner. I did what I wanted to do regardless of how my choices affected them. It was not that I didn’t care or couldn’t love my family, but I put my relationship with drugs and alcohol before my family. Even with my children, I acted as if their needs were not important. Most of all, I was not being loving toward myself. I cared only about satisfying one need – to get wasted night after night.

This arrogant ego of mine became a character defect. I cleaned up my act and stopped drinking and stopped using, yet I still had this ego problem. My ego would not allow me to make a mistake; I had to be perfect. I continued to blame others for my own shortcomings. I continued to put my needs and desires before others. As I continued to go to meetings, I began to listen and hear other addicts and alcoholics talk about similar problems. I heard others with more time under their belt talk about the freedom they gained in surrendering these defects. They talked of letting go of their desires and following after their Higher Power’s will. I began to realize that this character defect stood in the way of my relationship with myself, with others and with God. Do I let ego problems get in the way of my recovery?

Meditations for the Heart

Each of us has both an outer life and an inner life. There is the part of us that we show to the world, that part of us that is known to others. There is also the inner life; this is where we hide our crazy thinking, our mixed up emotions and our secrets. In recovery I need to open myself up and tell on my disease. I need to share how my thinking and emotions and secrets mess up my life. I need to develop a new inner life. This new inner life is one in which I am in communion with God. I need to seek after His will for me and seek after the courage and power to carry out His will for me. I need to go to this new inner world often to be renewed in my commitment to ongoing recovery. I need to do regular housecleaning of this new inner world. When I do this, it makes it possible to live in peace with the outer world. I am prepared to go to work, to interact with my family and to stay true to the tasks before me. Do I seek to expose my old crazy thinking, mixed up emotions and secrets so that I can develop a new inner world?

Petitions to my Higher Power

God,
Sometimes I do not want to clean house, but I know this must be done in order to have an effective relationship with You and others. I know that I can let my ego get in the way and act as if I am more important than others. Help me to accept myself, both my strengths and weaknesses, and learn to let go of my defects of character.
Amen

bluidkiti
11-27-2015, 06:40 AM
November 30

Wisdom for Today

There are two kinds of fear in this world, healthy fear and unhealthy fear. Healthy fear tells you not to do something that will harm yourself, like grabbing onto live electrical wires. Unhealthy fear, on the other hand, distorts reason and distorts beliefs. Unhealthy fear can control every action you take. During my active addiction to alcohol and drugs, this unhealthy fear was a constant companion. Frequently this fear escalated into paranoia. This fear controlled me. I was not able to think clearly or make rational choices because of this fear. I began to believe that all people were bad and were out to get me. I felt trapped in this fear and could not do anything without first consulting my fears.

I stopped drinking and using, but fear had become a part of me. I did not feel I could trust others. People were willing to help me, but I actually believed they wanted to harm me. Even at meetings I carried this mistrust. Even with family and friends who really cared for me, I found that fear of condemnation was still apart of me. This unhealthy fear had grown into a character defect. It was pervasive in my personality. I let fear run my life even in recovery. Have I let fear run my life?

Meditations for the Heart

Sometimes it becomes important to just keep things simple. My sponsor used to ask me a question, “Does it interfere with your breathing?” What he was asking about was the situation a matter of life or death. He told me that relapse could affect my breathing, and I needed to go to more meetings. It has only been in recent years that I have recognized that I need to keep things this simple in my spiritual life. Does it affect my spiritual breathing? Each day I need to take time to breathe in the Spirit. It is important that I slow down purposefully to breathe in the positive energy and the direction my Higher Power have to offer me. When I rush into the day without this time of quiet prayer and meditation, I find myself becoming short of spiritual breath. Rhythmically and evenly I need to breathe in what is offered to me freely. Do I take the time I need to breathe spiritually each day?

Petitions to my Higher Power

God,
Today I need to work on letting go of the grip I have on control. Let me rest comfortably in the assurance that You will lead me to health. Help me not to get wrapped up in fear and to simply trust You.
Amen.

willbe275
11-17-2021, 09:21 AM
"Put your mind into gear before you put your mouth into drive Prayer "

What you DO, speaks so loudly that I cannot hear what you say.

When I am worried, it’s usually because I’m trying to do everything myself. When I’m at Peace, it’s usually because I remember that God’s in Charge.

Before you assume, learn the facts. Before you judge, understand why. Before you hurt someone, feel. Before you speak, Think.