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July 16
Step by Step "It would be hard to estimate how much AA has done for me. I really wanted the program, and I wanted to go along with it. I noticed that the others seemed to have such a release, a happiness, a something that I thought a person ought to have. I was trying to find the answer." - Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, Part I ("Personal Stories"), (1), p 191. Today, grant me the common sense to realize the answer I seek to questions about recovery and life in general is no farther away than the text and program of AA. This here, in its proper context, is that the answer is the spiritual foundation on which recovery must be cemented. Paraphrasing the quote, "I was raised in religion but born of the spirit," let me understand that I must surrender on blind faith if I still struggle with the program's concept of higher power and spirituality. But if I still require some logical argument that a stronger power for good exists, can I not say that something stronger and better exists if alcohol and its destructive power also exist? Today, any answer I seek is here, and I am here in the now. I need look no farther. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M. ************************************************** ~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~ ACCEPTANCE The 12 Step way of life is accepting, not necessarily passive. ~ Anonymous ~ When we accept life on life's terms, we are acknowledging reality. We have all, on occasion, run from the truth. When we were in a situation that frightened us, we would turn tail and run. We would do our imitation of an ostrich and stick our heads in the sand, pretending the situation didn't exist and was not happening. When we accept something, we are not passively taking it in. We are ready to work through and toward our new awareness. But we can't do anything at all unless we accept it as a reality. We know what it's like to run from our disease. We tried to prove it was anything and everything but addiction. We tried to prove it was caused by something wrong in our lives, our jobs, our family, our childhood, our relationships, even the weather. After we ran out of excuses, we finally accepted our disease. My acceptance of my addiction is not passive, but based in reality and truth. ************************************************** ~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~ The trouble with not having a goal is that you can spend your life running up and down the field and never scoring. ~ Bill Copeland ~ We all have goals. Some of them are implicit or even beneath our conscious awareness. Some of us have very clear goals that we have spelled out for ourselves. Perhaps we are seeking to hold a certain job some day. Maybe we have the goal of saving money for our children’s college fund. Another goal might be to complete a particular next Step in our recovery program. It helps to spell out a few goals that we truly want to accomplish. Sitting down and writing just a few goals helps us find direction. That kind of list is best when it is kept short, limited to a few things we sincerely care about. Then we have a focus to inform our small and large daily decisions. Today I will think about my goals so that I can be clearer about how to achieve them. ************************************************** ~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~ If I want to feel better, I need to tell someone how I feel. If a friend in recovery asks me how I am, I answer honestly. Something special occurs. We are kindred spirits. ~ Marianne Lunde ~ We have a choice. We can isolate ourselves with our problems and remain stuck in their pain, or we can share with a friend or a sponsor what’s troubling us and as a result experience serenity. When we were using, we withdrew from the world, hiding the thoughts and feelings that haunted us. Dwelling in the scary places all alone, we felt even more distant and alienated from the very people who might have helped us discover some peace. At last those days are over. We are on this journey together, and we will help one another find the joy we deserve. We have only two assignments today or any day: one is to share honestly, openly, and lovingly with someone else who we really are; the other is to listen with a caring heart as another woman shares her story. Both of us will discover a peacefulness that neither of us has felt before. It is my choice today whether to stay isolated and sick or to reach out and help two people: me and a sister in need. Help me, God, to want to help my sister. ************************************************** ~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~ I am working to keep my faith I've been taking my medication and going to support meetings long enough to feel better. I do feel better, but I still have strong symptoms from time to time. Now my doctor wants me to try another medication—with, of course, a new regimen and new side effects. These days I feel very weary. At times I feel lost. And yet I know I am not alone' I have a home. I have my dual recovery program and for that I am grateful. It reminds me that I didn’t cause these illnesses and I can't cure them. It encourages me to keep doing the good things I've been doing. My higher power and my program have brought me this far; I trust that they will carry me further. I will list two improvements I've made in recovery and ask my sponsor for support with my meds. ************************************************* ~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~ We are betrayed by what is false within. ~ George Meredith ~ From the beginning of our lives we were taught to control ourselves. We were taught to be strong, not to cry, and not to show others how we feel. We became false, to others and to ourselves. But today, in recovery, we can unlearn all those teachings. Recovery demands that we let our feelings out, be honest, and share our fears. We have to let go of our old ways. Just as we learned our old lessons well, we are capable of unlearning and replacing them with our program. We have the tools and support to learn a new, honest way of living. We can learn to recognize dishonesty. Our minds are clear again. We can finally be honest, inside and out. With nothing to hide, we can safely share our deepest secrets, our darkest fears. We can get in touch with who we really are, secure in the knowledge that our Higher Power will help us find the strength we need to change. Now, we can become real. Today help me learn a new way of life, one day at a time. ************************************************** ~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~ I don’t believe in ageing. I believe in forever altering one’s aspect to the sun. Hence my optimism. ~ Virginia Woolf ~ You may have joined the program at a more mature age than most of the people you see at meetings. You may even question why, at your age, you are in a program of recovery. Yet no matter what your chronological age, it is important to be willing to change and to never lose your dedication to that commitment. At those times when you doubt whether you belong in the program, think of all of those years in which you were miserable. Reflect on all of the things and people you lost from your life because of your addiction. Consider your current state of health and how drugs and alcohol ate away at your body and mind. And think about how hopeless and disconnected you once were from a spiritual life. Recovery offers hope for a better life for anyone of any age. It does not matter if this better life for you consists of one day, one year, or several years. The peace and serenity that comes from being clean and sober can make a huge difference in your life. I am older than most of those I meet in recovery. But I am growing younger in mind, body, and spirit each day. ************************************************** ~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~ When something does not insist on being noticed, when we aren't grabbed by the collar or struck on the skull by a presence or an event, we take for granted the very things that most deserve our gratitude. ~ Cynthia Ozick ~ Was today an ordinary day, one filled with the usual events, the same people, the same routine? If nothing unusual or out-of-the-ordinary happened, are we now feeling a little ho-hum about the day's predictable pattern? It’s easy to recognize the extraordinary events in a day—the ones that break the norm, perhaps add a challenge, or a chuckle, or a bit of chaos. We give those events recognition and tend to belittle the events in an ordinary day. Tonight we can look back over our day and feel gratitude for every minute of it. We can remember our uneventful commute to work, for instance, and feel grateful that we drove in safety. We can recall the people, places, and things now and be grateful they were a part of our day. Tonight, I will feel grateful for the good in the ordinary. ************************************************** ~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~ Putting our own recovery first After we have put together a few months of recovery, we may really want to help others in our meeting. The goal is worthy, but we must be careful that we don’t find it easier to worry about others’ recovery than our own. In recovery we all have plenty to do on our own. We need to concentrate on ourselves, especially at first. This is not being selfish; it’s putting “first things first.” Chances are, we can be more helpful to our brothers and sisters if we simply (although not easily) set a good example, that is, if we go to meetings, work with a sponsor, pray, and do regular inventories. Am I setting a good example? Higher Power, help me simply to do my own work and not worry about others’ work. Today I will set a good example by God help me to stay clean and sober today! ************************************************** ~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~ Too much of a good thing can he wonderful. ~ MAE WEST ~ Newcomer I’ve been asked to speak at a meeting I’ve never attended before. I know that speaking in this fellowship is a service, and that we’re supposed to say yes when we’re asked to do things in recovery. The problem is that the speaking engagement conflicts with my favorite regular meeting, the one where we all go out afterward; I hate missing it. Sponsor Decisions have often been a challenge for us. In active addiction, we may have been too ill to make a choice, or we made it by default: we forgot to show up, or we waited until the last minute and canceled because of some “unforeseen emergency” we invented to justify our excuse. We missed out on a lot of what life had to offer. In recovery, though we know how to show up for commitments, we often feel uncertain about what’s the right thing to commit ourselves to. What if we make the wrong decision? If we choose plan A, what will we miss? If we choose plan B, we’ll immediately regret not having chosen plan A. Having choices is part of the abundance of our lives in recovery. Where two good options are concerned, there’s no “wrong” decision. If we choose the unfamiliar, we can be open to meeting new people whose sharing will inspire us with a fresh point of view. Or we can nurture ourselves with the comfort of what’s known. All the choices I make today have the potential to nourish me and my recovery. ************************************************** ~ THE EYE OPENER ~ We in AA are taught to live for today and to shut out all regrettable yesterdays. This philosophy is good, but it does not mean that we can cut off yesterdays as though they never existed. If we had not been alcoholics in the yesterdays, we would not be in AA today. If our lives had not been wrecked, we would not now be rebuilding upon a better and surer foundation. We do not need to lament over misspent yesterdays, but we should salvage what was good in them to help construct our new way of life. ************************************************** ~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~ Protected and Safe Dear God, help me feel protected and safe today. Free my mind from resentment, doubt, and fear, and fill me with love, peace, and hope. When my faith in You and the Twelve Steps and the Fellowship is strong, I feel protected against the storms of life and safe in my mind and home. ************************************************* ~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~ LARGESS UNLIMITED The most mischievous thing in life is man's reluctance to perceive his own dominion. God has given us dominion over all things, but we shrink like frightened children from assuming it, although that assuming is the one and only escape for us. Jesus, who knew the human heart, and understood our weakness in this respect, commands us, Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you: For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened (Matthew 7:7-8). Is not this the Magna Carta of personal freedom for every man, woman, and child on earth? Is not this the decree of the emancipation of the slaves of every kind of bondage, physical, mental, or spiritual? We have no business to accept ill-health, or poverty, or sinfulness, or strife, or unhappiness, or remorse, with resignation. We have no right to accept anything less than freedom and harmony and joy, for only with these things do we glorify God, and express His holy will, which is our raison d'etre. We are to reorganize our lives in accordance with his teaching, continuously and untiringly until our goal is attained. That this attainment, that our victory over every negative condition is not merely possible but is definitely promised to us, finds its proof in these glorious words. ************************************************** ~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~ Feed Each Other One thing I know: The only ones among you who will be really happy are those who will have sought and found how to serve. ~ Albert Schweitzer ~ A man was being given a tour of the kingdoms beyond this world. His guide opened a door where he saw a group of unhappy people standing around a sumptuous banquet. Although the tables were spread with inviting, delicious food, the people were starving. When the man looked closer, he saw that the spoons the people were holding were longer than their arms, and they could not get food into their mouths. "This," the guide explained, "is hell." "Then show me heaven," the man requested. The guide opened another door where the man saw another group of people standing before a similar banquet with spoons longer than their arms. In this room, however, the people were happy and their tummies were full. The people in heaven had learned to feed one another. When Jesus was saying goodbye to the apostle Peter, he asked him three times, "Peter, do you love me?" Three times Peter answered, "Yes, Lord, I do love you." And three times Jesus told Peter, "Then feed my sheep." All philosophy and rhetoric pale in the face of true kindness and caring. When we take care of one another, we fulfill our highest function as divine beings. We can feed each other on many levels: physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually. There is no greater joy and service than to fill one another with whatever we have to share. Let me know the joy of giving love. I pray to be a channel for love and blessing at every level. I am an instrument of God’s healing love. I delight in feeding my brothers and sisters. |
July 17
Step by Step Today, I absolutely must be grateful instead of crediting myself for all things good that happen today, however small. My spiritual fitness depends on humility, and humility crumbles into self-importance and egoism if I think that I and I alone worked hard and "deserve" the good and accomplishments of today. Although it is appropriate to hope that my decisions and actions contributed to some good, gratitude has to be given to my higher power for my correct decisions and actions. With AA, my spiritual and emotional foundations would not be as solid as they have become since I surrendered and set out on its charted course to recovery. Today, I am grateful to AA for empowering me with the ability to do whatever is right that returns to me in the form of something good. While I can say I grabbed the lifeline, it is that lifeline - not me - that is owed the gratitude for the good I have today. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M. ************************************************** ~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~ QUIET TIME Each morning sees some task begun. Each evening sees it done. Something attempted, something done. ~ Longfellow ~ Every day for us is a period of spiritual growth. Restful sleep prepares us for fruitful days. As each day begins, a new adventure in growth lies ahead. We seek strength and an attitude of making our lives more meaningful and positive through prayer and meditation at the start of each new day during our quiet time. We prepare ourselves emotionally for the busy hours ahead. With positive action planned ahead, we arise to a day dedicated to accomplishment. We know we have little time for standing and idly staring. We accept new challenges as we carry out each day’s plans. We encourage those around us to join us in seeking to see the best in everything that makes up our daily lives. Restful sleep, meditation, planning and turning it over starts my day with a quiet time and keeps it manageable. ************************************************** ~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~ Man is harder than iron, stronger than stone and more fragile than a rose. ~ Turkish proverb ~ It is a boy’s idea of a real man that leaves no room for softness or weakness. In his view, a real man is either strong or weak, either tough or soft. But a boy is not yet a man, and he can only imitate grown men. As we develop into adults with real life experience, and as we get to know ourselves with honesty, we no longer have to view our masculinity as a caricature. We know that our true nature contains both toughness and gentleness. When we are at peace with ourselves, we don’t have to hide our gentleness to prove that we are strong. We no longer have to prove anything. We have self-acceptance, including the whole complex mixture of elements that make up our character. And with self-acceptance, we don’t need to focus on the image we portray to others. We just let ourselves be and express the truth of how we feel and who we are. That is the sign of a real man who has grown up. Today I am growing in self-knowledge and I accept myself as a complex mixture. ************************************************** ~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~ Filling the hole in our soul with contemplation, meditation, and prayer will teach us that the God of our understanding is there. ~ Jan Lloyd ~ We are coming to understand that our Higher Power has always been present. That’s why we survived our addiction. However, cultivating a friend-ship with this unseen presence takes willingness and discipline. It helps if we converse with this God of our understanding every day. This friendship is much like all our other friendships in that it can be strengthened by attention. The more time we give to God, the smoother our lives will unfold. When we learn to make no decision without first consulting God, we will dramatically change the outcome of many of our experiences. Even while in the midst of a trying situation, we can seek God’s guidance and be freed from unnecessary harm. In the past we desperately tried to fill the void with alcohol or other drugs; now we’re filling it with love for our Higher Power. How lucky we are that we have lots of living yet to do. My experiences today will reflect my closeness to the God I trust. Remembering this assures me of a peaceful day. ************************************************** ~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~ I will be abstinent today It used to be that my most important goal each day was to cope with the pain of my dual disorder. I did it mostly by using chemicals. Mostly it didn't work. Today, that "solution" seems ironic. Because in recovery, the way I stop the pain is to not use chemicals. Today, abstinence is my most important goal. And I know I can do it. I have done it before. I have several tools to work with, especially meetings, the telephone, and my sponsor. With the help of my higher power, today I will be gratefully, humbly abstinent. Today I will meditate on the value of abstinence in my recovery and check in with my sponsor. ************************************************* ~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~ ...All things... that men should do to you, do ye even so to them. ~ Matthew 7:12 ~ In the midst of active addiction, the drug dictates how we relate to others: on good days, overly cautious, boastful, effusive; on bad days, nasty, negative, rude, sometimes cruel. Recovery means being aware that others are affected by our behavior. And that only abstinence grants us the freedom to choose our actions. When we first go into recovery, we are terrified by the openness we feel emotionally. We often feel wide open to others. We don’t have the drugs to hide behind. We don’t have a way to manipulate our moods and to make sure we are acting in the “right” manner. It is a new feeling, and often frightening, to realize that our moods have been so manipulated by our using. But as our spiritual life grows, we find a new peace. We learn to trust ourselves and others in a new way. With the help of our Higher Power and others in recovery, we become confident that our love and good intentions are lasting. Our love, joy, and sharing are beginning to seem real, and straight from the heart. Soon, we will feel proud of the way we treat others. Today give me the courage to treat other people the way I would like to be treated. ************************************************** ~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~ My aim in life has always been to hold my own with whatever’s going. Not against: with. ~ Robert Frost ~ Once there was an old man who needed to transition from his beloved home into an assisted care facility. Before he moved, a home care worker visited with him. “This must be very difficult for you,” she remarked. “It’s not hard at all,” he said to her with a smile. When moving day arrived, the home care worker drove him. “This must be very difficult for you,” she said. The old man smiled at her. “It’s not hard at all.” The woman grew concerned. She had taken many people to the facility, and most were far less cheery. “Let me tell you about this facility,” the woman said as she escorted him through the lobby. “I love it here,” the old man replied as he looked around him. “I’m really worried about you,” she began. “I’ve never seen someone so cheery about leaving his home and coming to this facility.” The old man patted her arm. “I make it a point of asking God to give me the strength to accept each moment as it comes. So when I asked this time, He assured me that no matter where I live, He is always with me.” I greet this new day with acceptance of all that will happen. ************************************************** ~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~ The world is full of people looking for spectacular happiness while they snub contentment. ~ Doug Larson ~ Before we came into the program, our lives were like roller coaster rides. We'd either be on a downward plunge of despair or an upward lift of ecstasy. When we were on a high, it seemed as if nothing could take that feeling away from us. We kept going from high to high and began calling our highs happiness. Today our lives aren't so dramatic, nor filled with such radical swings. Because we can't equate our happiness with those highs, we are often uncomfortable with feelings that don't include ecstasy or depression. Today we feel contentment, cheerfulness, serenity, and peace. Just like we do with a pair of new shoes, we need to try on our new feelings. We need to wear them through our daily routines and our nightly schedules. It won't be long before they fit us well. Then, it won't feel so strange when we feel stability and gentleness. We'll soon learn these feelings have always been within our reach. We've just been too afraid to feel them. Tonight I am grateful to be off the roller coaster. I am unafraid of the content feelings that I have. ************************************************** ~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~ Becoming willing to act The miracles in our program don’t simply rub off at meetings. The key to getting clean and sober—and staying clean and sober—is a willingness to act. Once we feel scared enough or strong enough to do something—once the willing-ness appears—miracles can happen. Action is the magic word. We must not wait for some-thing to “rub off.” Rather, we must act as soon as possible. An important phrase in the program describes this: “acting as if.” Am I learning to “act as if”? Higher Power, help me become willing to act so that I don’t fall into a spiritual sleep. Today I will take action on God help me to stay clean and sober today! ************************************************** ~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~ She who tells the truth is not well liked. ~ BAMBARA PROVERB ~ Newcomer An old friend of mine showed up at a meeting last week. He needs this program, and I was glad to see him. He told me how overjoyed he was to begin recovery. The next day he showed up again. He was late, but he made more than half the meeting. He said he’d see me here again today, but he didn’t show up or call. I’m going to phone him and try to find out what happened. Sponsor “Easy does it” may apply here. I’d be cautious about saying more than “I missed seeing you at the meeting.” More might make your friend feel guilty. No one’s ever stayed in recovery out of a sense of guilt, as far as I know. Our friends know where to find meetings. We’re not their sponsors or their only source of information and help. We—and they—may have no doubt that they need recovery. Whether they want it is another matter. Our simply being here indicates to friends and family members that recovery is possible for people like them, but to serve as examples, we have to maintain our own recovery. I’m not suggesting that we never do anything for others. Far from it. But we can’t force anyone to recover. Where friends or relatives are concerned, our intense interest may paradoxically, make it more difficult for us to be helpful. A light touch is required. Today, as I share my love for recovery, I have a light touch. I trust that each of us is in the care of a Higher Power. ************************************************** ~ THE EYE OPENER ~ It is not possible for man to live without emotions, and all emotions are passions. Emotions are as good as our control over them. Even those which we look upon as bad are bad only because they are not under proper control. The Creator of man endowed him with emotions as part of the necessary equipment to live a full and useful life. We live our lives and enjoy them only to the extent we curb and regulate our feelings. God put nothing evil in man. Man has diverted his blessings to evil purposes. ************************************************** ~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~ For Loved Ones Far Away O Great Spirit, Whose care reaches to the farthest parts of the earth, We humbly ask You to see and bless those whom we love Who are now absent from us, And defend and protect them from all dangers of mind, body, and spirit. ************************************************* ~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~ THE GOLDEN RULE Therefore all things whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye even so to them: for this is the law of the prophets (Matthew 7:12). Here in the sublime precept that we call the Golden Rule, Jesus reiterates that great Law in a concise summing up. This repetition follows upon his wonderful statement of the fatherhood of God. The underlying explanation for the existence of the great law is the fact that we are fundamentally all parts of the Great Mind. Because we are all ultimately one, to hurt another is really to hurt oneself, and to help another is really to help oneself. The fatherhood of God compels us to accept the brotherhood of man, and spiritually, brotherhood is unity. ************************************************** ~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~ No Small Plans Make no little plans: They have no magic to stir men’s blood. ~ Daniel H. Burnham ~ “Quit your job; you are to work with Robert Redford,” a firm voice spoke from a place deep within Judy. The intuition was so compelling that she had to follow it. Soon Robert Redford’s production company came to Salt Lake City, and Judy signed up to be an extra in a movie. After a few days, she learned of a need for volunteers in the office, and the work she did there won her an invitation to join the paid accounting staff. At that time, Robert Redford was searching for a personal assistant, and Judy was offered the job. She went on to work closely with Mr. Redford for years. As divine beings, we are here to do magnificent things, and smallness does not befit us. Anyone who has ever improved her life or changed the world has had to think big, think radically, and be willing to venture into unknown worlds. The voice of transformation begins with a tiny hint whispered to our inner self. If we follow it, we will be on our way to the life we wish for. What visions or dreams have you denied because you believe they are too big for you? What would you love to do that you have shied away from pursuing because it feels like too much of a stretch? What possibilities send a current of enthusiasm through your body and spirit? These are precisely the avenues that you must pursue to live on the cutting edge of your own destiny. Help me to think big and act on my dreams. I trust that if You give me an idea, You will give me the means to manifest it. Help me to move beyond fear into magnificence. I can do great things because a great Source guides and supports me. |
July 18
Step by Step " ...I felt a fear coming into my life, and I couldn't cope with it. I got so that I hid quite a bit of the time, wouldn't answer the phone, and stayed by myself as much as I could. I noticed that I was avoiding all my social friends ...I couldn't keep up with any of my other friends, and I wouldn't go to anyone's house unless I knew they drank as heavily as I did. I never knew it was the first drink that did it. I thought I was losing my mind when I realized that I couldn't stop drinking. That frightened me terribly." - Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, Part II ("Personal Stories)", Ch 2 ("Fear of Fear"), p 324. Today, I do not have to fear the first drink that unleashes in its wake all its devastation because, today, AA has freed me from fear and all its siblings and cousins. I can claim with honesty that I have fully bowed to Step One - " ...(A)dmitted (I am) powerless ..." - and take as gospel the program's credos like "One Day at a Time," "First Things First," "Keep It Sweet and Simple" and "There for the grace of God go I." I am in recovery, I am sober and I don't need or want the first drink. Without it, I don't have to avoid friends, family or anyone else, and I don't have to be afraid to answer the phone because of some paranoid fear that it's news that I did something last night that I don't remember. Today, I am humble and loyal to the program. With it, fear is knocked out of the ballpark. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M. ************************************************** ~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~ NO REGRETS Of all sad words of tongue or pen, the saddest are these, 'It might have been.' ~ Whittier ~ Unless we live in the now, we are in danger of suffering the agony of regret. We can’t spend all our time thinking “life's not fair.” We cannot afford to excuse every-thing with "what ifs?" We used those words constantly during the years we wasted on obeying compulsions we knew could destroy us. We remember the years before recovery and accept them as object lessons of what it could be like again if we become careless or complacent. But we don't regret them. Regret only leads to depression and perhaps a return to active addiction. We must stop dwelling on the impossibility of undoing the wrongs of yesterday. Instead, we must begin enjoying the "right things" that are now possible in recovery. It is impossible to relive my past. I can only create a good past now by living this day the best way I can, so that tomorrow I can look back without having to say "It might have been." ************************************************** ~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~ Courage is the price that life exacts for granting peace. ~ Amelia Earhart ~ Courage is a traditional masculine virtue. We admire a man who bravely faces danger and does battle for a worthy cause. When courage fails a man, when he steps aside from the battle that needs to be fought, we feel that he missed his calling. Recovery requires this kind of courage. In fact, the struggles with ourselves and with our inner demons are far more frightening than duking it out with a real live foe. We might get a thrill from the danger of driving fast, or climbing a rock wall, or skiing a challenging slope, yet we freeze when we try to talk about our feelings or make amends for a bad mistake. The very act of beginning our recovery took courage. We put it off as long as we could. The battle seemed so frightening. When we could see no other escape, we raised the courage to go forward toward a worthwhile goal. And the peace that we have now is the reward for our courage. Today I pray for the courage to do what I am called to do. ************************************************** ~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~ I have to remember to tell the negative committee that meets in my head to sit down and shut up. ~ Kathy Kendall ~ Why does it seem easier to get trapped in negative thinking than it does to have positive expectations? Maybe it’s only a matter of habit. We may be proficient at expecting the worst outcomes, but with the support and the example of friends who share our journey today, we can break that habit. And we’ll discover that it’s not that difficult. Let’s begin by making small attempts. In the past our mind seemed to fill up with random thoughts, as if it were a newsreel produced by an outsider. Today, as quick as a blink, we can fast- forward the picture to one we prefer. We can be the full-time “producer” of our own newsreel. That’s the good news! Our thoughts and attitudes are there by our choice. We must acknowledge that. We can neither blame nor give credit to anyone but ourselves. We can make a habit of positive thinking. Let’s begin right now. I will focus on positive thoughts today. Remembering that my thoughts are of my own making, every time, makes it easier to switch channels. ************************************************** ~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~ I am looking forward to returning to work Because of my dual disorder, for now I can't return to work. My addiction fueled my psychiatric symptoms, which scared me into further use of chemicals. I spiraled deeper into illness and needed a medical leave from work to get stable, both physically and emotionally. To my surprise, not working has been hard. I miss having a place to go during the day and being with people I enjoy. In particular, I miss the feeling of making a contribution. But with the help of my higher power, I plan to return to work soon. I will pick up an extra recovery meeting and work on today's job: my dual recovery. ************************************************* ~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~ You alone can get well, but you can’t get well alone. ~ Donald A. Tubesing ~ Each of us is responsible for our own well-being. We cannot blame anyone else for the progress or lack of it that we may experience in our efforts to change or to work a program of recovery. We alone are responsible. But being the sole owner of responsibility for our lives does not mean we play solo! We take responsibility for our own program of recovery, but link our spirits with others who also know how to recover. It’s especially important in early recovery to be with those who know the ropes, who have gained the spiritual peace we hope to attain. They can guide us, support us, laugh with us and cry with us, and sometimes be firm with us when we seem to be heading the wrong way. All Twelve Step programs use the word “we” in each of the steps. Recovery is not lonely. It happens in community, with others. Today give me the courage to join those who are in recovery. Help me see others in recovery as friends who know what I’ve been through and want to help me. ************************************************** ~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~ Progress always involves risks. You can’t steal second base and keep your foot on first. ~ Frederick B. Wilcox ~ The great things in the world happened as a result of risk taking. Explorers and adventurers discovered new lands. Inventors tinkered and created amazing inventions. Businesses sprang from simple visions. Great diseases were conquered by those who risked experimentation. The accomplishments of these and so many other people all started from the same place: a willingness to take risks. They did not shy away from risking everything, even without the guarantee of a positive or beneficial outcome. Beginning your recovery is also taking a risk. But what differentiates your risk from those of the greatest risk takers is that your outcome is assured of being positive and beneficial. Think of the great number of people who use and abuse and do nothing to change their circumstances. Then think of all those—yourself included—who are waking up each day ready to take the risk of finding a better way of living. You may begin your day with the fear that you may fail, doubt that you might not succeed, or dread over the difficult things you must do. But remember that the risk you are taking in your life today guarantees a better future. What great thing will I accomplish today in recovery by taking a risk? ************************************************** ~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~ When the cards are dealt and you pick up your hand . . . there's nothing you can do except to play it out for whatever it may be worth. And the way you play your hand is free will. ~ Jawaharlal Nehru ~ Playing a card game with a winning hand can be joyful. We gain confidence from the cards and play well, knowing we can be successful. But when we pick up a hand that could be a losing one, we may want to walk away from almost certain defeat. How we play the hand we're dealt each day will determine the outcome. A hand that requires effort, determination, and skill to play well we may see as too difficult. Rather than play it, we may want to pass it to another and draw a new hand. But we won't be given another hand tonight. We can pick up the cards and use the tools of the program to work through the difficult ones and try to change the hand into a good one. Win or lose, the best way to stay in the game is to play with what we have. Tonight I can choose not to fold. I'll continue to face what life has given me today and work through things to the best of my ability. ************************************************** ~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~ Practicing sanity When we were getting high all the time, we were practicing insanity. It was a lot of fun. We got so good at it, however, that we couldn’t tell see how serious it had become. Whether we’re straight or high, insanity seemed to take over. Now we can practice sanity daily. Practicing anything will eventually make us pretty good at it. With the grace of God, we can get pretty good at sanity too. Am I letting go of my insane behavior? Higher Power, help me face the fears of sane living, fears I tried to hide from with addiction. Today I will reflect on my unresolved problem behaviors by God help me to stay clean and sober today! ************************************************** ~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~ Truth burns up error. ~ SOJOURNER TRUTH ~ Newcomer Lately, I’ve been preoccupied with thoughts about a member of the group who’s been pursuing me. So much mental energy goes into trying to figure out ways of warding off this person’s attentions that I miss a lot of what’s being said at meetings. Today, I finally spoke up. I’d planned to say something like “Feeling comfortable at meetings is really important to me, so I want to be clear that I’m not willing to date friends from the group. I have to put my recovery first.” What actually came out of my mouth didn’t sound much like that! I hemmed and hawed, but I must have gotten it across, because the person acknowledged what I’d said and was sorry to have made me uncomfortable. Sponsor Congratulations. That’s freedom. When we’re finally able to say something that we’ve been holding back, it’s an immense relief. Relationships—not just romantic ones, but those involving friends, family members, or people at work—sometimes require saying things we find difficult. The kind of appropriate, respectful sharing you did clears the air and makes closeness feel safer. We can state the truth of our own feelings clearly and gently, without attacking or blaming the other person and putting him or her on the defensive. Instead of “Why did you ...” or “You’re making me feel...,” we can say something like “I feel angry (hurt, happy, confused, etc.) when ...” Instead of hurting others’ feelings or inviting argument, we open the door to mutual honesty and understanding. Today, I have the courage and humility to be truthful. ************************************************** ~ THE EYE OPENER ~ It is frequently true that many of us might be better employed. A lot of good farmers and mechanics have been ruined by making doctors, lawyers or engineers out of them. When we finally sobered up, many of us were unemployable in the profession or trade for which we had some aptitude, and the necessity of getting a job made us take the first thing that presented itself. While we are on our Inventories, it might be well to check on our adaptability to our present jobs and where we are wrong endeavor to do something about it. ************************************************** ~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~ When Our Hearts Are Lonely God of life, There are days when the burdens we carry Hurt our shoulders and wear us down, When the road seems dreary and endless, The skies gray and threatening, When our lives have no music in them And our hearts are lonely And our souls have lost their courage. Flood the path with light, we ask You, And turn our eyes to where the skies are full of promise. ~ by St. Augustine ~ ************************************************* ~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~ THE STRAIT GATE Enter ye in at the strait gate: for wide is the gate, and broad is the way, that leadeth to destruction, and many there be which go in thereat: Because strait is the gate, and narrow is the way, which leadeth unto life, and few there be that find it (Matthew 7:13-14). There is only one way under the sun by which man can attain salvation, in the true sense of the word, and that is by bringing about a radical and permanent change for the better in his own consciousness. For countless generations humanity has been trying in every other conceivable way to compass its own good. This change in consciousness is the strait gate that Jesus speaks of here, and, as he says, the number of those who find it is comparatively small. Now why should man be so reluctant, apparently, to try to change his consciousness? The answer is that the changing of one's consciousness is really very hard work, calling for constant unceasing vigilance and a breaking of mental habits. Entering the strait gait is, however, worth much more than whatever trouble or effort it may call for. If you make a qualitative change in consciousness, which is what happens in prayer, then not only is the effect of that change felt in every department of your life, but it is with you through all eternity, for you never can lose it. Thieves cannot break in and steal. As soon as you obtain this spiritual consciousness you will findthat all things indeed work together for good to those who love God. ************************************************** ~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~ Velcro Relationships All minds are joined. ~ A Course in Miracles ~ While Carla was teaching a seminar, a woman told her, "l feel that my marriage is over. My husband and I have been together for a long time, and we have grown in different directions. I want to leave, but I cannot because I know it would crush him." A month later at another workshop, a man confessed, "My marriage is empty, but I'm staying with my wife because I know she would never survive a divorce." Then Carla discovered that he was the husband of the woman who spoke at the first seminar. Relationships are based on matching energy. Like strips of Velcro fasteners, partners contain hooking energies that conform by agreement. Often couples have similar or polarized underlying feelings that go unspoken. When you speak your truth, you invite your partner to do the same, and together you bring the relationship into more light and integrity. Invite your partner in a relationship, business, or friendship to greater intimacy by being honest about what you're experiencing. You may be surprised to find that you are more joined than you realized. Show me my oneness with my brothers and sisters. Let me meet them in the deepest and richest truth of the heart. I attract the perfect co-creators for my adventure into greater light. |
July 19
Step by Step "The mental state of the sick alcoholic is beyond description. I had no resentments against individuals - the whole world was all wrong. My thoughts went round and round with 'What's it all about anyhow? People have wars and kill each other; they struggle and cut each other's throats for success and what does anyone get out of it? Haven't I been successful, haven't I accomplished extraordinary things ...What do I get out of it? Everything's all wrong and hell with it.'" - Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, Part I ("Personal Stories"), Ch 6 ("The Vicious Cycle"), pp 244-45. Today, an inventory of my mental state even if I am not drinking, if for no other reason than to make sure I'm not on a dry drunk. If ever I thought in my drinking days that "the whole world was wrong," do I still harbor that belief? Instead of adapting myself to the world and finding my own place in it, do I still consciously or unconsciously expect the world to change to adapt to me? If I do, chances are my Fourth Step was the immoral inventory of the world around me, not an inventory of myself - or I have neglected tolerance. The "sick alcoholic" does not have to be a drinking one. Today, to make sure I am not just dry, my mental state requires a checkup that I'm not still the sick alcoholic of my drinking days. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M. ************************************************** ~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~ FIRST THINGS FIRST Do not climb the hill until you get to it. ~ English Proverb ~ As each day goes by, we gain a clearer perspective on our lives. We realize that our recovery program is our most important priority. Our sponsor and home group are ever present reminders to keep First Things First. We never stray too far from our First Step. We remember that when we came into the Program we were flat on our backs. Before we could crawl, we had to learn to sit up. Before we could walk, we had to learn to stand. There is no alternative to doing First Things First. Our meetings help us to shut off the voices that tell us to solve tomorrow's problems today. We pray and meditate on the things that are directly in front of us. When we own the present we have peace of mind. When we rent the future we buy trouble. If I make the proper preparations and wait until I get there to climb the hill, the climb is easier. ************************************************** ~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~ The mind creates the abyss and the heart crosses it ~ Nisargadatta Maharaj ~ Sometimes we are filled with fear. The challenges facing us seem so large and we feel so confused or so stymied. We wake in the middle of the night and the worst images rise up in our thoughts. Our problems, real or imagined, can overwhelm us. We feel bereft and alone. Yet, honestly, we don’t have to live the whole future in one day, and we don’t have to deal with everything alone. When running a long distance, we may feel tired and can’t imagine continuing to the end. Yet we know we can keep running now, and we can keep taking step after step. We don’t have to expend all of our energy in one burst. Our energy rebuilds along the path, even as we expend it. So it is with meeting the challenges of our lives. We take heart in knowing that we only have to deal with today. We are never alone because our creator is always with us. Today I will cross over any difficulty I must face. ************************************************** ~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~ Life is so much easier if you ride the horse in the direction it’s going. ~ Anonymous ~ There is a pattern to our lives. Our Higher Power has always wanted the best for us. Had we trusted the natural flow of our experiences instead of trying to control people and outcomes, we’d have experienced less pain and lots more joy. It’s not that life won’t have difficult lessons to teach us on occasion. It will and they may hurt. But we must remember that God will never give us what we can’t handle and, furthermore, that we’ll have the guidance we need to meet our challenges. Going against our inner urges never gives us peace. The wisdom that resides within is a gift from our Higher Power. Let’s never forget that. I will be peaceful today if I follow the voice of my heart. ************************************************** ~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~ I need help with my cravings I don't like this state I'm in. All I can think about right now is using. And I'm tired of feeling scared and anxious. I just want some relief. At times like this, I don’t care if it's only temporary: changing my mood is all that matters. Being hooked like this is painful, especially since the relief I get from drugs and alcohol doesn't last—I know that. My cravings just come back, sometimes stronger than before. So why does a part of me still believe in this lie? I read somewhere that this lie is part of the disease. I'm still confused. But I want to be clean and sober. I want to change my thinking and my behavior. I want to feel better. My sponsor said I could call her anytime. I will pick up the phone now and ask for her help. ************************************************* ~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~ Running away may relieve our anxieties momentarily, but lasting ease requires our turning toward what we dread most. In dealing with fear, the way out is in. ~ Sheldon Kopp ~ Fear is a monster that is always at our backs until we turn to face it. Looking our dread in the face renders it powerless. It is not possible to be panic-stricken and honestly confront our fear at the same time. Fear avoids sunlight and nurtures itself only in the dark comers of our lives. Taking our biggest fears out of the closet and exposing them earn us ten giant steps forward in the healing process. We watch our fears lose their power one by one and fall away when exposed to the light of day. Sharing our secrets and fears with another human being, our sponsor, and in some cases our group, is like walking across a dark room and turning the light on. Often we find that the shadow in the corner has disappeared. Today let me risk finding a safe person to tell some of my fears and secrets to. ************************************************** ~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~ If you mess up, fess up. ~ Author unknown ~ Self-respect is developed, in part, from your ability to accept and take full responsibility for your actions. Even when you make mistakes or behave badly, your willingness to own up to your part in such things makes you a better person. Your humility in being able to ask for forgiveness displays the depth of understanding you have for the hurt or harm you may have caused others. But until you can take responsibility for your actions and place this responsibility squarely on your shoulders, you may spend the majority of your time looking for someone or something else to blame. When you blame others you not only show them little regard, but you are, in essence, giving up on yourself. You may think that you are saving face by pointing a finger in another direction, but what you are really doing is pointing the finger at yourself. You are saying, “Look at me. I am someone who would rather find a scapegoat than take responsibility. I am not a person you can trust or respect.” And whenever you cannot trust or respect yourself, it will be hard for others to feel that way about you. The power to grow self-respect is within me. I will own up to the problems that are mine and fix them. ************************************************** ~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~ Three . . . are my friends: [One] that loves me, [one] that hates me, [one] that is indifferent to me. Who loves me, teaches me tenderness. Who hates me, teaches me caution. Who is indifferent to me, teaches me self-reliance. ~ Ivan Panin ~ Not everyone is going to be a best friend. Some people will choose not to know us. Others may dislike us for whatever reason. Yet we can see these people as our friends by realizing each has something to offer. We may be hurt when we realize not everyone likes us or wants to be our friend. But do we want to be friends with everyone? Certainly there are those we know who bore us, make us angry, or turn us off. It's okay that everyone isn't our friend. We can learn from the one who dislikes us that there are aspects about our behaviors that some people won’t like. We can learn from those who don't care to pursue a friendship that not everyone can be there for us. Such people will also help us appreciate more the special people in our lives who are unquestionably our friends. I know I have some very special friends in my life. Tonight I can be grateful for their support. ************************************************** ~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~ Taking just one It’s that first fix, pill, or drink that gets us high. It’s not the second or third or fourth one, or the second day or the second week of using that gets us into trouble. It is the first one. And until we understand this concept, we will keep trying—without success—to gain control over our drug use. For us, control no longer exists. And it never will. When we start thinking. Well, just one won’t hurt me, we are on our way back to that same pain and discouragement of a drug-filled life. Do I believe that even one is too many? Higher Power, please help me remember that I can never regain control over my drug use. I will avoid taking that first drink or drug today by God help me to stay clean and sober today! ************************************************** ~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~ As a body everyone is single, as a soul never. ~ HERMAN HESSE ~ Newcomer I’ve been to so many meetings. Sometimes I feel as if I’m hearing the same things over and over again. When someone starts to speak, I feel tired in advance. I think, “Oh, no— now I’ve got to hear that war story again.” Sponsor At times, I’ve had similar feelings. I like to think of myself as a caring person, but the truth is that sometimes I feel as if I can’t stand being reminded of the suffering of others. Where’s my compassion? I have a hunch that what’s going on for me at such times is that, as I hear about other people’s pain, I’m being reminded of my own. I don’t want to dwell on my history. I want to be unique, not like all those others. I want to reject my addictive past. I don’t want to hear reminders of what’s inside of me. And I can’t be patient and tender toward others if I’m not willing to be patient and tender toward myself. But it’s healing to listen to others. When I open my awareness and begin to accept the truth of my own and others’ past suffering, my heart grows. Today, I am aware of the presence of a Higher Power when I am in the presence of another person. ************************************************** ~ THE EYE OPENER ~ In our drinking days we had sufficient knowledge to know that there was a better way of living, but it was beyond our wildest imaginings that such a life was possible for us. An idea that sprang from the imagination of Bill and Dr. Bob took root in our minds, and we became possessed of the knowledge that enabled us to convert our lives into lives beyond the limits of our imagination. ************************************************** ~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~ Make Us Strong—Native American O our Father, the Sky, hear us and make us strong. O our Mother, the Earth, hear us and give us support. O Spirit of the East, send us Your wisdom. O Spirit of the South, may we tread Your path. O Spirit of the West, may we always be ready for the long journey O Spirit of the North, purify us with Your cleansing winds. ************************************************* ~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~ THE GRACIOUS WILL OF GOD A tragic mistake that is often made is to assume that the will of God is bound to be something very dull and uninviting, if not positively unpleasant. Consciously or not some persons look upon God as a hard taskmaster, or a severe parent. Too often their prayers amount to something like this: "Please God, give me such-and-such a boon, which I sorely need—but I don't suppose you will, because you won't think it is good for me." Needless to say, a prayer of this sort is answered as all prayers are answered, according to the faith of the subject; that is to say, the boon is not granted. The truth is that the will of God for us always means greater freedom, greater self-expression, newer and brighter experience, wider opportunity of service to others—life more abundant. God is love; and he that dwelleth in love dwelleth in God, and God, in him (1 John 4:16). ************************************************** ~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~ Let It Be Easy Life was never meant to be a struggle. ~ Stuart Wilde ~ A friend of mine invited author Arnold Patent to participate in a project she was sponsoring. After considering the invitation, Arnold told her, "I don't think I'll be a part of this venture. When I try the idea on for size, it feels like a struggle for me. My life is about ease." My life is about ease. Now there is a powerful affirmation! Imagine how much more joyful and creative you would be if you refused to participate in anything that was a struggle, and relaxed into what you're doing so that it became a dance instead of drudgery. You might end up living heaven on earth! Whenever you feel a sense of strain, ask yourself this question: How would I be doing this differently if I were willing to let it be easy? Letting it be easy does not mean sitting back, succumbing to laziness, and expecting everyone else to do everything for you. Letting it be easy means honoring your aliveness, acting from the place in you where life is meaningful, and releasing any notion that you must participate in activities that deaden you. When you proceed from joy rather than rote obligation, you will have so much more creative energy and health that you will be infinitely more powerful to manifest the life you choose, and serve others in the process. Lead me from struggle fo ease that t may reflect the Light of the world. I magnify peace as I do what I love. |
July 20
Step by Step "I had my first drink when I was 15 and my alcoholic potential had ripened me to the point of necessary escapism. I needed alcohol from that night on, and it in turn used me, ruling my life for three years. "I never drank socially; I drank as often and as much as I could. My eventual goal was to drink myself to death. All my life, it seemed, was spent on the outside looking in. I had been unhappy, lonely and scared for so long that the discovery of liquor seemed to be the answer to all my problems." - Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, Part II ("They Stopped in Time"), Ch 7 ("A Teenager's Story"), p 353. Today ... out of the mouths of babes. This sufferer who crossed the threshold of alcoholism at age 15 and began recovery at 18 speaks to all of us on multiple levels. First, youth and even a relatively short drinking career do not shield us from alcoholism; second, if like this child we are drinking or drank as an "escape" or a solution "to all (our) problems," we have by clinical definition established the link between alcohol and addiction even if it is emotional or psychological. If I have any deep-seeded worry about my drinking or if I am desperately clawing for excuses to quiet others who have their worries, grant me the strength and honesty to heed the voices of warning. Their experience may be the lifeline I might not yet know I need. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M. ************************************************** ~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~ HUMILITY The 12 Step way of life is humble, not necessarily meek ~ Anonymous ~ The picture many of us get of a humble person is someone afraid of their own shadow, whose self-image is so low they're afraid to stand up for themselves. We learn that this image of humility is not what is meant in the Program. We realize that the people who have stayed abstinent for some time are all humble. For those who have made progress in the Program, humility is simply a clear recognition of what and who they are. They have gotten down to their own right size. Humility is understanding that they're worthwhile. It's the middle ground between the extremes of grandiosity and intense shame. They have a sincere desire to be and become the best they can be. Today, I will remember that humility is not being meek. It's being me. Humility for me means staying my "right size." ************************************************** ~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~ Eternity is a terrible thought. I mean, where’s it going to end? ~ Tom Stoppard ~ Looking at the stars on a clear night or the vastness of the open sea gives us a sense of how small we are. It may feel frightening to contemplate—and at the same time comforting. What are we but a bit of earth sparked to life by a force we didn’t initiate? This rich mixture of fear, comfort, and awe is what we can call spirituality. In our program of recovery, we are guided to a spiritual path. The very search for a sense of meaning is a spiritual quest. We are told to have faith in the God of our understanding, and the paradox is that God is beyond our understanding. God exceeds the confines of a human definition. When we can relax into that realization, we find comfort in the vastness and we focus on being the best kind of man we know how to be. I can be at peace, knowing that what is eternal exceeds my understanding ************************************************** ~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~ I do not have to always be right! ~ Mary Zink ~ Where does the need to be right come from? No doubt from our youth and the shaming reprimands that were heaped on us by parents and teachers when we made mistakes. We mastered the idea that we weren’t worthy unless we knew everything and lived mistake-free lives. Of course this was Impossible; thus, we felt like failures most of the time. That is, until we discovered this program. We are free at last. Free from the torment of trying to be perfect. Free from the torment of trying to know everything. Free from the torment of trying to control others against their will. Free from the agitation that came all too easily even in minor disagreements. We feel as if we have been born anew, and we have, more or less. We are right part of the time, but the burden of having to be right in order to be at all is gone. And that has made all the difference. I will be right part of the time today. I’ll let others be right their fair share too. ************************************************** ~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~ I need to remember HALT Suddenly I feel very irritated. Why? I don't know. I know I'm upset, but I don't know what to do. I feel out of control. I feel like using. This has happened before and I don't know what's going on. When I have these sudden changes in mood, I need to recall the tried and true slogan, HALT (Hungry Angry, Lonely, Tired). Several times I've heard about this tool for staying in touch with four important feelings. When I sense a change in mood, which often happens to me these days, I need to ask myself whether I am feeling especially hungry, angry lonely, or tired. If I know what I'm feeling, I feel less out of control, and I can figure out what to do next—even if it's nothing. I will make a HALT flash card and carry it with me as a reminder. ************************************************* ~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~ Is recovery part of Glasnost, too? ~ Earle P. ~ Although the Twelve Steps were conceived in America, their benefits are being felt worldwide. There are now groups all over the world, even the Soviet Union. In fact, the Soviet government has helped encourage the growth of Twelve Step recovery there. Alcoholism has been a terrible health problem in the Soviet Union and destroyed many lives. It is gratifying to think how much help is now available worldwide. Treatment centers, Twelve Step programs, and support for recovery are springing up everywhere. It thrills us to think of our partners in recovery in cities and countries around the world, not just around the corner. We may never meet in person, but we find great joy in knowing that our spiritual counterparts are all over the world. Today I am grateful that support groups are now available in most countries of the world. I am thankful that recovery is now virtually worldwide. ************************************************** ~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~ I have had, and may still have, a thousand friends, as they are called, in life, who are like one’s partners in the waltz of this world—not much remembered when the ball is over. ~ Lord Byron ~ In the online world, you may have dozens of friends through connections facilitated by social networks and forums. Chances are you have never met these friends. You could be standing behind one in a grocery store line and never know that the two of you have been exchanging daily e-mails. While your online friends may give helpful advice and may “be there” for you whenever you are online, it is important to distinguish between those who are true friends and those who have “friended” you. True friends are there in times of misfortune as well as times of gladness. They can be helpful when you are sick or need a hug. They may understand you better than you understand yourself. They love you, even when you do not love yourself. They will tell you the truth, even when you do not want to hear it. While your online community can be of value to your life, just be aware of how much time you devote to those people so you do not take away time and attention from your true friends. I will limit my online friends so I have more time to devote to my true friends. ************************************************** ~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~ Sickness tells us what we are. ~ Proverb ~ Our lives are made up of many things that define who we are. Our salaries and savings tell how rich we are. Our clothes tell the colors and styles we like. The cars we drive show our tastes and transportation needs. Our homes reflect our family size and the type of furniture we like. But those are outer, material reflections. We also have inner, emotional reflections that show who we are. Our feelings reflect whether we are happy or sad. Our muscles show whether we are relaxed or stressed. Our health reflects whether we're taking good care of ourselves or not. Many of our stressful or emotional times are accurately reflected by a cold or flu, or negative thinking. The sick feeling we may have inside about things we are dealing with can erupt into outward signs of sickness. It's okay to be sick, but it's important to look at the sickness and come in touch with what may be going on inside. Our body defines us and expresses this definition in many ways. By noticing all expressions, we are that much more in touch with who we are. Tonight I can observe myself and the things that define me ************************************************** ~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~ Making a decision We made a decision, a decision to try this program because all else had failed. (We still doubted it would work, but we were desperate.) This decision was made mostly on hope and a belief. At first, it did not reflect belief in a Higher Power but belief in other people. When we make a decision to do whatever is necessary, our belief can grow. It can grow to a point where no power on earth can shake our foundation. And from this foundation we can, in turn, offer hope to others in need. We can plant in them the same seeds of belief that made it possible for us to be clean and sober. Is my belief growing? Higher Power, help me stay strong in the program and help others who need to establish roots. Today I will renew my commitment to the program and its members by God help me to stay clean and sober today! ************************************************** ~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~ God is not some kind of divine bellhop, to be summoned to the service of our desires or needs. ~ ABRAHAM JOSHUA HESCHEL ~ Newcomer At a meeting about the Seventh Step, I heard the word "humility” over and over. I’m uncomfortable at the thought of people humiliating themselves; haven’t we been through enough? I’m proud of my time in recovery, and I’m learning to be proud of myself. Sponsor I’m glad to hear that you’ve become skeptical about humiliation: degradation, disgrace, and shame have no place in our sober lives. Humility, though some of us have confused it with humiliation, is something else entirely. For me, humility is the simple recognition that we’re not our own Higher Power. We don’t always know what’s best for us or for others. We can’t order our Higher Power around, then despair when we don’t get what we want when we want it. Step Seven suggests that we continue cultivating the attitude of surrender that we assumed in Steps One, Two, and Three. It reminds us that we don’t do everything by ourselves. We are willing to accept help from others and from the Spirit within that wants us to heal. In Step Seven, we ask that characteristics and behaviors that stand in the way of our sobriety be removed. We don’t demand instantaneous healing, but we do invite the process of change to begin by acknowledging our desire for it and our need for help. Today, I’m strong enough in recovery to be willing to ask for help. ************************************************** ~ THE EYE OPENER ~ In all great emergencies, people instinctively turn to the man who has complete control of all his faculties. Few indeed are the difficulties that we can fight our way out of, yet few indeed are the difficulties that we cannot think our way out of. Confusion is unknown in the mind that is cool, calm and collected. ************************************************** ~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~ Let Nothing Disturb Me Let nothing disturb me, Nothing frighten me. All things are passing; Patient endurance Attains all things, Whoever has God lacks nothing If I only have God, I have more than enough. ~ Adapted from "St. Teresa's Bookmark" by St. Teresa of Avila ~ ************************************************* ~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~ BEARING FRUIT Read Matthew 7:15-20 If man really were left without a simple practical test of religious truth, he would assuredly be in a sad plight; but happily this is not the case. Jesus, the most profound, and at the same time the most simple and practical teacher the world has ever known, has provided for this need, and has given us a universally applicable test for truth. It is as simple and direct as the acid test for gold. It is the simple question—Does the truth work in our lives? This test is so staggeringly simple that most clever people have passed it over. Truth heals the body, purifies the soul, reforms the sinner, solves difficulties, pacifies strife. There is no such thing as undemonstrated understanding. If you wish to know how you really stand spiritually, look about you at your environment, beginning with the body. There can be nothing in the soul that is not demonstrated sooner or later in the outer, and there can be nothing in the outer that does not find some correspondence in the inner. By their fruits ye shall know them (Matthew 7:20). ************************************************** ~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~ Todays the Day The only time you fail is the last time you try. ~ Anonymous ~ My friend Judith worked as scuba diver for Mel Fisher, the indefatigable explorer who searched for a sunken Spanish galleon off the Florida keys. For 16 years, Fisher and his crew probed relentlessly for the fabled Atocha, going through many investors' capital to find a treasure that was speculative at best. The crew adopted the motto, "Today's the Day!" and wore T-shirts proclaiming this affirmation in huge letters. Day after day, year after year, the crew went out, motivated only by the hope that one day today would be the day. Then, at 1:O5 P.M. on July 20, 1985, Fisher's marine radio in Key West, Florida, carried the voice of Fisher's son Kane calling from the vessel Dauntless: "Put away the charts. We've got the Mother Lode!" Thus, history was made as Fisher's crew unearthed over $4OO million worth of gold, jewelry, and buried treasure. If you have labored long and hard for a project you believe in, don't give up. At any moment, you could have a breakthrough that will make all the difference in your life and your world. Richard Attenborough struggled for 18 years to get his film Gandhi produced, and he went on to win numerous Academy Awards. Thomas Edison went through 50,000 experiments before he perfected the first alkaline battery. All of these productions made the world a better place for many, and perhaps your project will do the same. I pray to hold firmly with my vision. I am open to a major breakthrough. I will do my part and trust God to take care of the details. |
July 21
Step by Step "Could I be an alcoholic without some of the hair-raising experiences I had heard of in meetings? The answer came to me very simply in the first step of the Twelve Steps of AA. 'We admitted we were powerless over alcohol - that our lives had become unmanageable.' This didn't say we had to be in jail, 10, 50 or 100 times. It didn't say I had to lose one, five or 10 jobs. It didn't say I had to lose my family. It didn't say I had to finally live on skid row and drink bay rum, canned heat or lemon extract. It did say, 'admitted I was powerless over alcohol; that my life had become unmanageable.'" - Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, Part II ("They Stopped in Time"), Ch. 10 ("It Might Have Been Worse"), p 379. Today, no excuses, no justifications, no rationalizations, no comparisons, no "I didn't get that bad," no fear, no shame, no anguish - only sheer guts and courage: "I am powerless." Enough is enough. No more rejecting the idea of a higher power. I have seen and lived in the darkest of places. If something so powerful like alcohol can take me there, maybe something stronger can lead me on blind faith to a better place. Today, I control that over which I am powerless by saying, "No more!" No more. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M. ************************************************** ~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~ LOVE The 12 Step way of life is loving, not necessarily possessing. ~ Anonymous ~ When a practicing addict or alcoholic loves someone, it is not usually love that is transmitted. It's more like taking hostages. Just as our contact with a Higher Power was blocked by the disease, so also was our contact with loved ones blocked. While we were preoccupied with addiction, we could only hold on for dear life. The expression of love turned into either a possessive hold or detached emotional unavailability. Either way the practicing addict did not make a good lover. The disease itself was a jealous suitor. It demanded a total, unconditional commitment. When we began to recover our ability to love returned, or was born within us for the first time. Love has become a key to an ever-growing spiritual life and a new-found ability to commit and bond. My Step work has helped me become less possessive and self-centered, and capable of loving relationships. ************************************************** ~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~ Prayer is less about changing the world than it is about changing ourselves. ~ David J. Wolpe ~ Regardless of how we understand a Power greater than ourselves, prayer is an important part of our lives. Relating to a Higher Power leads us out of our egotism into a conscious relationship with powers far beyond ourselves. How do we pray? We can use words to state what’s on our mind. We can say them silently or out loud. We can quiet our mind and simply enter into the peace of God, opening our mind to receive that deeper wisdom. Drawing pictures can be a form of prayer. Playing music or listening to music can be done prayerfully. This is not so much a time to ask for special favors as a time to enter the relationship and to receive the guidance that comes from beyond our own power and conscious will. Today I will quiet my mind for a few minutes and enter consciously into a prayerful relationship with my Higher Power. ************************************************** ~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~ A quiet mind is the best cure for a low mood. ~ Jane Nelson ~ It may seem too simple that we can change a bad mood or a bad attitude by “getting quiet.” But in fact, we can. Clearing our thoughts of anger, resentment, self-pity, and fear gives us the space to feel peaceful. And within these spaces we discover, again, our gratitude. Each of us has countless things for which to feel grateful, but acknowledging this is hard when we are low. Let’s do it together: We have this program to help us handle whatever comes, one day at a time. We have as many friends as we want; all we have to do is go to meetings. We have a sponsor who cares; her help is never more than a phone call away. A Higher Power intervened in our lives or we wouldn’t be here. We have come to believe a Higher Power will be with us always. Gratitude is a decision. It comes naturally when we quiet our minds of the negative noise. If I feel low today, I have some tools to use. Letting go of the thoughts that harm me is the first one to try. ************************************************** ~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~ I can recover from a relapse It scares me to think back over the last few weeks. My psychiatric symptoms returned—I felt lost and I lost control. I even had a lapse with my addiction. The message I take from this, however, is that I have two illnesses that can affect one another sharply. I need to work a recovery program for both of them at the same time. (And even then the biological part of my psychiatric illness could flare up.) Although I can't get back these recent weeks of illness, I can decide to take better care of myself. For starters, I will make today as good as it can be. I will look at my relapse triggers for both my addiction and my psychiatric illness, and adjust my relapse plan as necessary. ************************************************* ~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~ Holdfast to dreams, for if dreams die, life is a broken-winged bird that cannot fly. ~ Langston Hughes ~ The promises of Twelve Step recovery become our dreams come true. In the early stages of our sobriety we may fear economic insecurity or have a poor self-image. It is common during the first days, months, years of restoration to meet decision-making with self-doubt and second-guessing. By nurturing our faith in the promises of our program, we maintain the courage to continue moving forward, keeping our dreams alive and reachable. On our bad days, when our own faith may falter, we can pray for the willingness to accept the faith of others in our fellowship. We are no longer alone in our dreams. By sharing our dreams, doubts, and pain with others, and by conscious contact with our Higher Power, we are not only growing, we are already enjoying one of the fruits of recovery — the end of isolation. And in this environment of love and acceptance, our spirits soar, and our dreams are reborn. Today help me share my feelings and focus on my dreams. ************************************************** ~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~ The conversation whipped gaily around the table like rags in a high wind. ~ Margaret Halsey ~ The recovery program is based on communication and dialogue that enables members to become fully engaged in their recovery. It is not a place of silence or withholding, but of freely expressing one’s thoughts and of talking with others. The person who opens the meeting with a Story does so in order to encourage discussion. The more others share in response to the story, the greater will be the exchange of information and knowledge. Yet communication can be hard when you have spent your life avoiding discussion or suppressing your feelings rather than expressing them. While alcohol or drugs may have made it easier for you to be more open with others, the goal of drinking or drugging was to get drunk or high so meaningful discussion could be avoided and feelings could be numbed. Freedom from addiction provides you with freedom of expression. Your participation in discussion brings about greater self-awareness as well as a deeper understanding of others. Too, the more you converse with others, the more fully developed your social skills can be—skills that can be valuable in many other areas of your life. I will engage in conversations and share my feelings with others so I can learn more about myself and develop more confidence. ************************************************** ~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~ Sometimes I found that in my happy moments I could not believe that I had ever been miserable; I planned for the future as if happiness were all there was. . . ~ Joanna Field ~ Wouldn't it be great if we could forget all the miserable times or, better still, never have them again? In the past, our lives have been like a roller coaster ride. The thrill of going up was something we never wanted to end; when we went down, we never imagined we could leave such depths. We may still have moments of unhappiness, sadness, or despair, but now we have the tools to trust those moments won't be with us for long. And we don't need to desperately clutch at happiness, joy, and serenity like we used to. Whatever kind of day we have, we can trust that the bad day can get better and the good day will be back again. Did I have a good day or a bad one? Can I trust that today was okay, no matter what kind of day it was? ************************************************** ~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~ Judging other addicts As addicts, we tend to judge each other in a cruel way; it can help us feel better about ourselves. For example, alcoholics look down on junkies, junkies look down on speed freaks, and everyone looks down on glue- sniffers. But what’s the difference? We’re all in this together. We’re dealing with life-and-death matters. Making value judgments about the kind or severity of an-other’s addiction is a childish and dangerous game. Have I stopped judging other addicts? Higher Power, help me accept myself— and accept others—in all aspects of life. I will acknowledge someone addicted to another chemical today by God help me to stay clean and sober today! ************************************************** ~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~ Mistakes are a fact of life. It is the response to error that counts. ~ NIKKI GIOVANNI ~ Newcomer I was served something at a party that contained ingredients I wouldn’t intentionally consume; they aren’t a part of my life in recovery. I realized my mistake and stopped right away but I felt betrayed and miserable. I’ve been so careful in social situations in recovery; it just hadn’t occurred to me this time that I was in any danger. Do you consider this a slip? Sponsor I suspect that this is an experience you’ll never forget. Happily, you were able to stop once you realized that you were dealing with a substance that, for you, is addictive. This wasn’t a relapse, but it was a wake-up call. Instead of berating yourself for having made an honest mistake, I suggest that you share about the experience at meetings. Sharing helps us to see our experiences more clearly and to let them go. It’s also a reminder that we can’t just assume other people are looking out for our recovery. Avoiding unwanted substances or behaviors sometimes means asking questions or making special efforts. Staying away from our drug of choice is our own responsibility. Today, I take full responsibility for my own recovery. ************************************************** ~ THE EYE OPENER ~ To the new persons on our Program who might be confused about the Moral Inventory, it would seem that for a starter, it will suffice if they will sum up each night their actions on the past day. If their honest appraisal of that day meets their approval, if it is definitely better than the days preceding, then actually the Moral Inventory is in operation whether recognized as such or not. If daily you are making a moral study of your thoughts and actions your defects will be noticeable and you will instinctively take steps to correct them. ************************************************** ~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~ Lead Me from Addiction Lead me from addiction, in thought and action, to life, From falsehood to truth Lead me from despair to hope, From fear to trust. Lead me from resentment to acceptance, From hate to love. Let peace fill my heart, Let serenity be my goal, This I pray. ~ Adapted from the Upanishads ~ ************************************************* ~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~ UNREMITTING VIGILANCE Read Matthew 7:21-23. We are all willing to do God's will sometimes and in some things, but until there is a complete dedication of one's whole self, there cannot be a complete demonstration. "There is no home for the soul in which there dwells the shadow of an untruth," said George Meredith. Never is it more true than in the life of the soul that the price of liberty is eternal vigilance. We must not allow any consideration whatever, any institution, any organization, any book, or any man or woman, to come between us and our direct seeking for God. Centers, churches, schools, all fill a useful purpose in providing the physical framework for the distribution of right knowledge, but the actual work must be done by the individual. Not every one that saith unto me, Lord, Lord, shall enter into the kingdom of heaven; but he that doeth the will of my Father which is in heaven (Matthew 7:21). ************************************************** ~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~ Dare to Be Grand To belittle is to be little. ~ Anonymous ~ My friend Ernst was a regular fellow' We played in a band together, went out for pizza, and I felt his pain as he went through a divorce. When I saw him after an absence, he told me' "I've been spending a lot of time in south America. I went to visit a friend, and one evening a neighbor came for dinner. She told me that she had a headache, and I asked her if she wanted me to pray for her. After I did, she felt better. That night she came back with her daughter, who was suffering from menstrual pain. I offered the girl prayer, and she experienced relief. The next night all of this woman's relatives showed up at the door! She had told them I was a healer. Hoping I could be of service, I prayed for them. The next day half the town was lined up for healing. After l came home, l received a call from a town representative who told me that the people would pay my airfare back if I returned. So I did, and now I go back regularly; they fly me from town to town in a helicopter, and the prayers have had wonderful results.'' Upon hearing this amazing account, my first thought was, "Ernst? Last year a bass player, this year a saint?" I had a hard time reconciling the two pictures, but then I realized I had a choice: I could negate the good that he was doing, or I could rejoice in the blessings. It felt a lot better to be excited about his success than to try and keep him small. I realized that the cup in which I held Ernst’s good fortune would be the die I cast for my own. You will be as big as you allow him to be in your thoughts," an inner voice told me. "Keep him small, and you will be small. Let him be great, and so will you.” I decided it would be a lot more fun if we were both—and all—great. Help me accept and celebrate the divinity in every being I meet. I open to my full potential by blessing the good fortune of others. |
July 22
Step by Step "The words of Dr. Bob and Bill are with me all the time. Dr. Bob said, 'Love and service keep us dry,' and Bill said, 'Always we must remember that our first duty is face-to-face help for the alcoholic who still suffers.' Dr. Bob tells about keeping it simple and not to louse it up. ...(T)here are some of us who, at times, try to read extra messages and complexities into the Steps. ...AA is within the reach of every alcoholic, because it can be achieved in any walk of life and because the achievement is not ours but God's. ...(T)here is no situation too difficult, none too desperate, no unhappiness too great to be overcome in this great fellowship ..." - Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, Part II ("They Stopped in Time"), Ch 11 ("A Flower of the South"), p 395. Today, remembering when life without drinking was unthinkable much less a dream beyond dreaming, can any problem in life of sobriety be any worse or beyond resolution or reconciliation? While AA is a lifeline, we had to muster more strength and courage than we thought we had to grab and hold on by admitting we are powerless, coming to believe and going to any lengths. Nor does the program come without responsibility as required in Step 12 - to carry the message to the alcoholic who still suffers, and to keep the program simple without inserting "extra messages and complexities." Today, if I think something in my life is hopeless, I need only remember so it was as a drinking alcoholic, to realize that nothing now is beyond hope. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M. ************************************************** ~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~ HONESTY The 12 Step way of life is honest, not necessarily self-righteous. ~ Anonymous ~ When we allowed ourselves to drift from the real world, it was often a difficult experience to find a way back. It caused deep pain and guilt. When we confronted our life history in our Fourth Step, we found that we had to go back to the very beginning to find our way home. The trip wasn't easy, but it had to be made if we were to get on with our lives. After we began cleaning up the wreckage of our past, we made every effort to be honest daily. Now, inventory taking is gentle, with soft edges. We remember how hard it was for us to come clean and we have sympathy for those who still face this test. We guard against being righteous in our dealings with others. We do not want to wear our honesty on our sleeves. We should not be proud that we have become honest. Honesty should be as natural for us as breathing. When I am self-righteous in my approach to others, I am not being honest; I am just being mean. ************************************************** ~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~ I not only bow to the inevitable; I am fortified by it ~ Thornton Wilder ~ Some people understand great wisdom naturally without a struggle. Most of us have endured great pain and saw our lives careen out of control before we were willing to admit that we could be powerless. We wanted our pleasures and our escapes and we did not want to conform to the truth. Our stories illustrate what happened when we refused to accept reality. Now we also see how much stronger we become when we accept the wisdom of humility. When we put aside our hungry egos and bow to the inevitable truth, we begin to work with reality instead of against it. Our transformed lives are miracles because they grew from such out-of-control lives so filled with mistakes. Today I am grateful for the humility and wisdom that has fortified me. ************************************************** ~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~ We need to make a distinction between powerlessness and owning our power. ~ Melody Beattie ~ We are powerful women. But we may have misused our power at times. We may have tried for years to wield control over others. Unfortunately, it took too many conflicts for us to accept that we didn’t have almighty power over others. On the other hand, being powerless over others doesn’t mean being victims. Owning our personal power is healthy. There’s much that we can be responsible for. Today is a good day to focus on this. For example, we have the power to smile at everyone we meet. We can control the words we speak on every occasion. We can choose to harbor positive thoughts. We have the power to accept all experiences as lessons. Most important, we have the power to pursue whatever brings pleasure to our lives. I am not powerless over what I do, think, or say today. I have all the power I need to have whatever kind of day I want. ************************************************** ~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~ I am glad that I have accepted help Before I hit bottom, I didn't know I needed help with my drug-using behavior. After I hit bottom and got an assessment, I didn’t want any help. I didn't want to deal with my addiction, I denied my psychiatric problems, and wanted to be left alone. In dual recovery I now see how much I needed help, and how much help I can use. My sponsor supports my spiritual and emotional growth. My treatment team manages my psychiatric illness. Instead of feeling lost or friendless, I feel understood and cared for. And I am grateful. I will meditate on the two ways I have changed the most since I accepted help for my dual disorder. ************************************************* ~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~ The term Higher Power got (people) out of the moralistic perception and experience (of addiction). ~ John Keller ~ There are those who question whether there is a God, or a Higher Power. One example of a Higher Power’s work is that we are here today, no longer in the grip of active addiction. As hard as recovery often is, we can always be grateful for how far we’ve come. We now have a program, people who support us, a chance to build a new life. Isn’t that progress over where we were — our days of drinking, drugging, compulsive sex, eating, or gambling? In the end, we find the change in our lives was brought about not through our own willpower, but through surrender to a Higher Power. We also find that our spirituality has nothing to do with moralism or judgment, but rather acceptance. When we feel a need to measure how far we’ve come, we need only look at where we are today — in treatment, in a group, reading this book, thinking about recovery. Our bodies are strong and healthy, our minds focused and capable, and our faith has been renewed. Thanks to a Higher Power, active addiction is moving into our past and making way for a joyful recovery ahead. Today I pray that I might feel gratitude for Your help in my recovery. ************************************************** ~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~ Nine-tenths of wisdom consists of being wise in time. ~ Theodore Roosevelt ~ Choosing to enter the program is a wise decision. But how you choose to go through your process of recovery requires wisdom. You will need to make decisions along the way that are right for you. The basis of making these decisions depends upon whether you approach your recovery with folly, or with wisdom. It is folly to think that you must work on everything all at once. Trying to take on too much too soon can scatter your attention. Wisdom comes from the understanding that you need to take things one step at a time. It is folly to think you can handle your recovery on your own. Wisdom comes from refusing to go it alone and accepting the help and guidance of others. It is folly to think that you can work through your recovery with speed. Wisdom comes from the under-standing that recovery is not a timed event but one that requires a slow, dedicated pace to learn from the past and formulate strategies to overcome each day’s challenges, and then celebrating accomplishments. It is folly to think that everything you do in recovery will be perfect. Wisdom comes from accepting that failure may happen and applying that experience to find what could work. I will approach my recovery with wisdom. ************************************************** ~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~ When wealth is lost, nothing is lost; when health is lost, something is lost; when character is lost, all is lost. ~ German proverb ~ Imagine being in a foreign country when you suddenly discover you've lost your traveler's checks. At first you may panic and worry, but after a phone call to your bank, reimbursement will be sent. You have lost nothing. Then imagine you've eaten a new dish that doesn't agree with you. You become so sick and weak that you're bedridden. Your ill health becomes more difficult to cope with, for you must let rest, medicine, and time restore you. For a time, you cannot sight see and experience all the festivities of the foreign land. Now imagine you've lost your passport and all forms of identification. To the authorities you are a nameless person who may need to be detained. You have now experienced the biggest loss of all, that of your character and self. Money can be replaced, health can be restored, but losing who you are and what you stand for cannot easily be regained. Hold fast to yourself. It is richer than money and more valuable than good health. Tonight I can hold dear who I am. I need to learn my possessions and my body are mere supports for myself. ************************************************** ~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~ Being rational As practicing addicts, we were impulsive. We just did what we felt like doing. We didn’t think things through. Actually, we didn’t think much at all. We often acted irrationally. As recovering addicts, we may still have some distorted ideas and may still behave irrationally at times. That’s okay. But if what we’re doing seems serious to our sponsor or a couple of recovering friends, we need to talk more about our actions. Am I learning to use reason to test my actions? Higher Power, help me plant both feet on the ground and to practice sharing my thoughts. I will talk with my sponsor today about God help me to stay clean and sober today! ************************************************** ~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~ Home wasn’t built in a day. ~ JANE ACE ~ Newcomer I’m a lot better than when I was active in my addiction. But parts of my life still feel beyond my control. I don’t mean earthquakes or floods. I mean getting to the dentist, repairing the car, doing the laundry, eating well. There are a lot of things I’m not taking care of the way I think I should. Sponsor Part of applying Steps Six and Seven to our lives is to take a look at simple behaviors that are keeping us uncomfortable and unbalanced in our recovery. Though we’re not using addictive substances or behaviors, we may still be putting off the dentist, living on fast food, neglecting personal appearance, having no time for home or car maintenance, or letting bills pile up. The problems may seem minor—such things as always arriving ten minutes late to work, routinely losing keys or eyeglasses, never finding time for exercise— but they point to where we’re stuck in our process of recovery. Over time, they pose risks to, rather than support of, our health and serenity. We don’t expect overnight cures, and we don’t demand perfection of ourselves. We begin with awareness of what isn’t working well for us. Then, each day, we take a small step toward change. Today, I acknowledge a habit that stands between me and my serenity. I’m willing to take one small step toward changing it. ************************************************** ~ THE EYE OPENER ~ Those of us who have our drinking tamed do not necessarily have our thinking or our actions under control. We are not under control until all our actions are under the domination of our intelligence, and our intelligence cannot properly function until we have thoroughly schooled it into instinctive sober and sane thinking. This constitutes one whale of a big job, one that will last a lifetime—but we can start on it today. ************************************************** ~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~ I Ask Not for Easier Tasks O God, I ask not for easier tasks. I ask for stronger aptitudes and greater talents to meet any tasks which may come my way Help me to help others so their lives may be made easier and happier. Strengthen my confidence in others in spite of what they may do or say. Give me strength to live according to the Golden Rule, enthusiasm to inspire those around me, sympathy to help lighten the burdens of those who suffer, and a spirit of joy and gladness to share with others. ~ by Harry A. Bullis ~ ************************************************* ~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~ A ROCK FOUNDATION Read Matthew 7:24-27. Therefore whosoever heareth these sayings of mine, and doeth them, I will liken him unto a wise man, which built his house upon a rock (Matthew 7:24). One of the oldest symbols for the human soul is that of a building, sometimes a dwelling house, and sometimes a temple. The first thing that has to be done by the builder of a house is to select a sound foundation. On the shifting sands of the desert it is impossible to build anything at all, and so when the desert dweller intends to put up a permanent structure he looks about for a rock. Now the Rock is one of the Bible terms for the Christ, and the implication is very obvious. Christ is the one and only foundation upon which we can build the temple of the regenerated soul with safety. As long as we are depending upon something less than that Rock—upon will power, upon so-called material security, upon the good will of others, or upon our own personal resources—we are building upon sand, and great will be our fall. ************************************************** ~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~ On The Threshold Do not look to the god of sickness for healing but only to the god of love, for healing is the acknowledgment of Him. ~ A Course in Miracles ~ My friend Bobbi is a successful anesthesiologist. When she sustained a leg injury, she had to deal with her own pain, which was humbling for her since she spent her life helping others numb theirs. Ironically, no practitioner that Bobbi consulted could alleviate her distress until she discovered an acupuncturist. After just a few treatments, her pain dissipated. “As much as we know about medicine, "Bobbi confessed, "we know very little; the frontier of healing is much grander than any of us ever imagined." Modern medicine has relieved much pain and saved many lives and is to be richly applauded. lam very grateful that my mother's life was comforted and extended through surgery. Yet, reparative medicine is but one aspect of healing. Physical manipulation of organs is rudimentary in the face of what truly heals. In one of the Star Trek films, Dr. McCoy travels from the 23rd century to visit a 19BOs hospital. His eyes bulge as he observes what he considers Neanderthal medical practices. "Unbelievable" he exclaims. True healing is based on light, sound, prayer, right use of mind, and living in harmony with nature. Even now, laser and sound therapies are coming into vogue. When I last had my teeth cleaned at the dentist's office, the hygienist used an ultrasound pick that shook plaque off my teeth through inaudible vibrations. Let us usher in the next level of healing now. Begin to pray, chant, send light, hold positive mental images, and reconnect with nature. Healing can be easy, gentle, and illuminating. We appreciate medicine as we know it, and we take our next step toward healing from the inside out. Help me know the true essence of healing. Let me give and receive healing as You do. God is the healer. God can heal anything. I am whole now. |
July 23
Step by Step "I took everything that AA had to give me. Easy does it, first things first, one day at a time. It was at that point that I reached surrender. I heard one very ill woman say that she didn't believe in the surrender part of the AA program. ...Surrender to me has meant the ability to run my home, to face my responsibilities as they should be faced, to take life as it comes to me day by day, and work my problems out. That's what surrender has meant to me. I surrendered once to the bottle, and I couldn't do these things." - Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, Part II ("They Stopped in Time"), Ch. 4 ("The Housewife Who Drank at Home"), p 340. Today, surrender and its various interpretations that can be integrated into my own recovery. While surrender arguably may be interpreted most often as entrusting our very lives to a higher power, surrendering is regaining the ability to take back and carry out our responsibilities and meet problems head-on and work them out. This requires sobriety and being clean. Today, I long for those promises of recovery and, today, I become responsible enough to work for them. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M. ************************************************** ~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~ HONOR The 12 Step way of life is honorable, not necessarily prideful. ~ Anonymous ~ A proud air serves no purpose for a person in recovery, other than being a warning flag to all. Proud people fall hard. Honorable and humble people are so close to the ground they can't fall. When we are too proud, we act self-righteous. Self-righteousness says we know more than anyone else. and we are out to push that point. All we really know is what we experience in our recovery. We can contribute nothing more than truth. Everything else is opinion. When we become prideful about our experience, we look like fools, for all of us make mistakes. When we are full of pride about our opinions, we act crazy, because they all too often take us on fantasy rides into the land of nowhere. I am to be humble in all my affairs. Humility teaches me I can be honorable and honest. This will bring honor to my life, love to my heart, and peace to my soul. ************************************************** ~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~ Man needs difficulties; they are necessary for health. ~ Carl Jung ~ When we are in the midst of problems and stresses, we can gather great strength from looking back at how far we have already come. True maturity gives us the perspective to see the bigger picture and to know that our present problems and distress will heal and pass into the background. At the same time, we can see from looking back that the obstacles we faced have changed us, and we have become stronger and better men as a result. Today’s obstacles, whether large or small, call us to bring our best wisdom in meeting them. We cannot foresee exactly how successful we will be. But we can resolve to be the best kind of man we know how to be, with honesty and gentleness. And that is a success we can guarantee. Today I will meet the obstacles I face with all the maturity I’ve got and with the strength of my honesty. ************************************************** ~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~ When I lean on a door and it collapses, it can-not all be attributed to my strength; something must be said for the infirm condition of the door. This keeps my ego in check. ~ Ruth Humlecker ~ We love to take credit for God’s work. Because our will is consistent with God’s on occasion, we fool ourselves into thinking we control events and people. Unfortunately, when we try to force conditions to suit our plans, we frequently trample on the spirit of others. We are too invested in being right. When we are not right—which is often—we are certain others measure us as unworthy. Our self-absorption tells us that others see us through our eyes. In reality, others seldom take notice of our failings. We win some battles. We successfully orchestrate some experiences. God’s outcomes match our desires when appropriate. But we aren’t the power behind the successes; we are only the instrument. I am not the cause of someone’s success or failure today. I may help God’s plan, but I can’t make it happen. ************************************************** ~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~ My Twelve Step group is a home When I was a child growing up, there was both addiction and psychiatric illness in my family. In my house there was too much fear, chaos, and neglect. There was too little "home" in my house when I was growing up. As an adult, I'm working through my own addiction and emotional illness. But now I've found a home that always offers me safety, stability, and nurturing: my Twelve Step group. Where else am I always welcomed, whether happy or sad? Listened to, whether foolish or wise? Who else offers me help without getting in my way? Cares about my successes and my failures? Where else can I be fully myself and yet be respected? This is why I call it home. I will meditate on my experience of home—what I missed, what I am now getting, what else I want. ************************************************* ~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~ We should have much peace if we would not busy ourselves with the sayings and doings of others. ~ Thomas k Kempis ~ One of the things that seemed to take a good portion of our time during active addiction was minding everybody’s business but our own. We had an opinion on every subject, knew all the details of other people’s lives, and could solve all their problems, “if only they would let me!” Why was it, then, that we had so much trouble in our own lives? Our Twelve Step program teaches us we’d been trying to control everyone else’s life because we knew we couldn’t control our own. Accepting this fact and turning our thoughts inward started us thinking about our own backyards. The more we learned about ourselves, the less we felt a need to control others. In short, we learned how to responsibly mind our own business. Now, when we find ourselves trying to solve other peoples’ problems, we can ask ourselves, “Am I more interested in others because I don’t want to work on my own issues?” This gentle reminder will help us get our thoughts back on track. And when the time comes to offer genuine help to another, we can be sure we’ll do it humbly, and out of true concern. Today let me mind my own business first. ************************************************** ~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~ Each of us has something to give that no one else has. ~ Elizabeth O’Connor ~ Have you ever looked at others and wished you had their qualities and talents? Have you ever thought that your life would be better if you could be just like them? Admiration of others is not necessarily a bad thing. What you admire in them can help you to focus on similar things you would like to develop in yourself. But when admiration goes too far it can dominate your thinking, turn your focus away from yourself, and develop into jealousy. When you are jealous of what others have, you take precious time away from yourself. Rather than count your blessings, you count theirs. Instead of considering your worth, you consider theirs. Rather than feel secure in yourself, you see their security. Jealousy is, quite simply, an emotion based on fear. It is a feeling that you will never measure up, never be loved, never achieve success, never develop talents and skills, and never do anything as good as someone else. Rather than spend your life looking outwardly at others, turn your thoughts inward. Visualize jealousy as weeds that must be removed. Place your energy on what things you would like to change in yourself, and take action. I will remove the weeds of jealousy from my mind so I can make myself into a beautiful, flourishing garden. ************************************************** ~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~ The measure of success is not whether you have a tough problem to deal with, but whether it's the same problem you had last year. ~ John Foster Dulles ~ Have we been wanting to make changes in our relationships, our careers, our education, our behaviors? What efforts have we made? How much have we changed in the last year? Have we truly made the physical, emotional, and spiritual changes we needed? Or have we only paid lip service to those changes? There may be many things we want to alter in our lives. But unless we stop talking and start doing something, those changes won't happen. We can start by setting a small, easily attainable goal. For example, we may wish to change our behavior of raising our voice. We might set this goal: "For the next twenty-four hours, I will not raise my voice—no matter what buttons are pushed in me or reactions I have." When that goal is achieved, then set another small goal. Breaking down each change into small, easily attainable steps is like working the program: a step-by-step, gradual process toward greater health and happiness. I can set at least one easily attainable goal. I will share that goal with another and ask for help when I need it. ************************************************** ~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~ Baby-sitting If someone truly wants our help to stop using mood-altering chemicals, we have a responsibility to do all we can. But demanding that someone accept our help or baby-sitting someone who continues to use probably does more harm than good. Deep down, we know when someone is sincerely seeking help. While it is our job to carry the message, we must avoid trying to fix someone who is not yet ready to quit. It works better if we tell them we’re happy to talk anytime they want to call. Am I learning the boundary between help-ing and fixing? Higher Power, help me help others according to their needs, in the best way I can. I will concentrate on helping myself today by God help me to stay clean and sober today! ************************************************** ~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~ The creative thinker is flexible and adaptable and prepared to rearrange his thinking. ~ A. J. CROPLEY ~ Newcomer I’m in a crisis. I got myself into it; there’s no one else to blame. I’m not sure what I’m going to do about it yet; I’m going back and forth over the alternatives. I can’t think about anything else right now. Sponsor Your word “alternatives” is a helpful one. In most situations, we have more options to choose from than we can see at first. There usually is a “Plan B,” if we’re willing to open ourselves to it. When I was active in my addiction—and for a period of time in recovery as well—I frequently found myself in the middle of a crisis. The sense of always being in crisis comes from a refusal to see that we have choices. For example, we may leave on time for an appointment but find ourselves in a traffic jam caused by an accident. If lateness is the inevitable result, we can choose to punish ourselves with whatever lateness represents to us, or we can say to ourselves, “I guess the schedule I had in mind for today has been changed; I may as well accept it.” Without the additional burden of self-punishment, we can see things in perspective. Whatever happens, we don’t pick up our addictive substance or behavior. We can turn to our Higher Power in prayer and meditation to help us regain a sense of balance. Today, I’m open to choosing among alternatives, as I substitute the word “situation” for the word “problem.” ************************************************** ~ THE EYE OPENER ~ We alcoholics feared loneliness as much as anything else on earth. Even the companionship of the bull pen was preferable to being alone. The quality of our company made no difference, for it was preferable to our own thoughts; certainly, it was not as critical. We just couldn't stand our own company. In AA we were told to establish conscious contact with the Man Upstairs and we marveled at the ease with which this was accomplished after a little effort on our part. Now we are never less alone than when we are alone. ************************************************** ~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~ Deliver Me From Fear O Lord, I ask you to deliver me from The fear of the unknown future, The fear of failure, The fear of poverty, The fear of sadness, The fear of loneliness, The fear of sickness and pain, The fear of age, and The fear of death. Help me, Higher Power, by Your grace, to love Fill my heart with cheerful courage And loving trust in You. ************************************************* ~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~ FINAL AUTHORITY And it came to pass, when Jesus had ended these sayings, the people were astonished at his doctrine: For he taught them as one having authority, and not as the scribes (Matthew 7:28-29). It is always so. The message of Jesus Christ is utterly revolutionary for it turns our gaze from the outside to the inside, and from man and his works to God. He taught as one having authority. The greatest glory of the Spiritual Basis is that you begin to know. When you have obtained the smallest demonstration by means of prayer, you have experienced something that never leaves you. You have the witness of Truth within yourself, and this is the only authority worth having. ************************************************** ~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~ Is That So? That that is, is. That that is not, is not. Is that it? It is. ~ Anonymous ~ When a young Japanese woman became pregnant by a sailor, she did not want the responsibility of raising the child, and named a local monk as the father. The woman's father angrily took the child to the gate of the monastery where the monk lived and informed him, “My daughter has told me you are the father of this child; now You must raise him.” The monk thought for a moment and answered, “Is that so?” He took the child and cared for him as if he were his own son. Seven years later on her deathbed, the boy's mother confessed that the child was not the monk’s. Her father returned to the monastery and humbly apologized to the monk. "My daughter has admitted her dishonesty. I will take the child back now." Again the monk thought for a moment, and answered, “Is that so?" Then he let the child go. True mastery lies in flowing with the events of life. We are empowered when we assume that everything comes from God and goes back to God. Nothing in form lasts forever, and when we can accept change, we are free. All pain is born of resistance. An attitude of non-resistance liberates tremendous energy. Pain arises when we fight against what is happening, and peace comes when we accept what is. What in your life are you resisting? How much peace could you gain by letting what is, be? Practice the art of allowing, and you will come close to heaven as you discover the hand of God behind everything' Help me trust in the flow of life. Show me how to accept what is, with love and appreciation. Divine order is operating here and now. |
July 24
Step by Step Today, gratitude as attitude. Gratitude for even the smallest of gains as opposed to complaining that the gains aren't big enough, and my attitude is a reflection of the quality of my sobriety. Even in the most demanding of days when most things seem to go wrong and few of them right, I must pause before reacting in a way I will likely regret later and remember my attitude in my drinking days. Then, my attitude was based on feelings of hopelessness, helplessness, fear, anger, regret, revenge, apathy and self-centeredness. They are the character defects as confessed in my Fourth Step, and confession alone does not mean those defects are gone. They remain; my Program is to improve on them day by day until they exist no more. Today, my attitude is not to rekindle the sins of my character but to disempower them with humility, empathy, answering a call to service and remembering, always, that my attitude defines me as either sober or as a dry drunk. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M. ************************************************** ~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~ ENVIABLE The 12 Step way of life is enviable, not necessarily smug. ~ Anonymous ~ We have many moments in our recovery when we close our eyes and wonder how could we be so lucky and so blessed. There is no question that life in recovery is very different from the life before it. What we could not achieve on our own, we now can achieve through the Steps. We have a sense of having "made it." We have found what others are still striving for. At times we do feel special and maybe just a little smug. It is true we are in an enviable position. We have become happier through a most unlikely journey. The disease which cost us the most is now the means to our serenity. We hear people speak with gratitude about their disease, and we know exactly what they mean. I am reminded that I have what I have by no power of my own. It is the grace of my Higher Power that has brought me to the Fellowship. ************************************************** ~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~ When the mind is still ...it returns to itself, and by means of itself ascends to the thought of God. ~ Saint Basil the Great ~ Our path is not leading us toward a physical place but toward the kind of person we are becoming. The Twelve Steps guide us to use daily meditation as a tool that helps us shape this new person. We take time for quiet moments, we still our thoughts, and in the stillness, without effort, our minds naturally open to introduce ourselves to ourselves. We become increasingly honest with ourselves and some would say we hear the voice of God. Daily readings can set a calming tone. Then we take a period of time, perhaps twenty minutes, for solitude undisturbed by others or by distracting telephones or television. We find that when we set aside this quiet time, we actually seem to have more time, not less, for the other demands in our lives. Today I will take a period of quiet time to come back to myself. ************************************************** ~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~ Yes, I made up my mind... today I do have a choice, and I like the idea of being a smiling Goddess. ~ Betty MacDonald ~ Many of us grew up either afraid of making choices or unaware that multiple options were open to us. Until we get accustomed to the idea of deciding for ourselves what to do first, where to live, what to believe, we are overwhelmed with the possibilities. Yet in recovery, we are thrilled with the knowledge that we are re-creating ourselves. Recovery has given us this gift. Our continued sobriety means we can keep it. Giving to others the love we now know honors the Goddess within. Choosing to share love with others gives us greater awareness of our inner Goddess every day. I will make the choice to love others today. The more love I give away, the more love I’ll feel. ************************************************** ~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~ I am learning how to relax Some days I can't think with all the noises and voices around me. I want it all to stop. Some days I feel trapped. At times like these it helps me to keep in mind that, first of all, it's OK to be sensitive to noise (no matter what others might say). Second, I can cope. One skill I need to remember is to get comfortable and take a deep breath to the count of four—one, two, three, four—and then breathe out to the count of four—one, two, three, four. And then do this exercise for four minutes. I am finding out that when I breathe slowly, I tend to relax. I will be OK. I will practice my breathing exercises four times today: four counts in, four out, for four minutes. ************************************************* ~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~ We can try to avoid making choices by doing nothing, but even that is a decision. ~ Gary Collins ~ Now, with alcohol and other drugs gone, we have our choices back. While we can’t choose our feelings, we can choose our behavior, and isn’t that a relief? We may feel irritated at a driver who’s going too slow, can think the situation through and decide how to act. We could tailgate, honk our horns and carry on, or safely switch lanes and accept what we cannot change. In dealing with spouses, colleagues, and family, we now have the sober mind and time to stop, think, and act, rather than reacting whenever someone pushes our buttons. Having choices again can be a little unnerving because we’re rusty at it, but it also brings great freedom. No one wants to feel enslaved, and that’s exactly how it feels when we let others control our behavior. We open our lives up to a full range of responses when we stop trying to control or to punish others with our anger. In making responsible choices, we find real freedom. Today let me accept responsibility for how I behave. ************************************************** ~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~ I have a “carpe diem” mug and, truthfully, at six in the morning the words do not make me want to seize the day. They make me want to slap a dead poet. ~ Joanne Sherman ~ How you begin the day often sets the tone for how you approach the rest of the day. Get out of bed groggy, and you may find yourself slogging through the morning and afternoon. Hit the snooze button several times, and you may spend the rest of the day wishing you could put everything on hold. Start out late, and your day may be off-schedule and filled with stress. Snap at others right from the start, and you may come off like a snapping turtle throughout the day. Just as the recovery program teaches you a different way to live your life, you can apply new ways of doing things to transform your morning attitude. Take care of some chores in the evening so you’re not overwhelmed in the morning. Use meditation and positive thinking before you fall asleep to develop a good frame of mind for the morning. Go to bed earlier to get extra sleep. You can wake up in the morning feeling like an ogre, or in a positive frame of mind. The choice is yours. I will practice good evening rituals so I can more fully appreciate the start of the day. ************************************************** ~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~ This s a delicious evening when the whole body is one sense, and imbibes delight through every pore. ~ Henry David Thoreau ~ Natural beauty can be spectacular. There is the bright, full moon, glowing orange or ethereal white. Perhaps we see it reflected on shimmering waters of a lake, like silver streaks on a cool, black mirror. City lights transform even the smoggiest and grayest of cities into a magical kingdom of colors. The rhythmical sound of rain on a road, cleansing the night air, lulls us into soothing sleep. If we use our senses to their fullest, we can come closer to our Higher Power. We can open our eyes to the silhouettes of the trees and buildings around us, to the colorful lights. We can listen to bullfrogs croaking, crickets chirping, or the wind howling. Each night we can breathe deeply o[ the cool, clean air, almost feeling the evening on our face. Just as our Higher Power created fall foliage, lush forests, and blue skies, so did our Higher Power create beauty in the night. It is up to us to open our senses and take it in. I will experience the night's beauty. I can be grateful for the night as well as the day. ************************************************** ~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~ Sharing a common goal Since we’re going the same way, let’s go together. We may have some differences, but let’s work them out and respect each other’s opinions. Since our goal is the same, you help me and I’ll help you. But let’s never withhold love as a weapon against one another. Since we are held together by a critical common solution, let’s not cause one another any suffering. Am I learning to emphasize our common purpose? Higher Power, help me see that what we share in the fellowship is more important than what separates us. Today I will strengthen our common cause by God help me to stay clean and sober today! ************************************************** ~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~ I think of my illness as a school, and finally I’ve graduated. ~ GILDA RADNER ~ Newcomer Things were going okay for a while, but now; suddenly, I have to drop everything and deal with a crisis. It feels so unfair—this wasn’t supposed to happen in recovery. Sponsor We’re not promised a problem-free life as a reward for maintaining recovery. Like all human beings, we experience things beyond our control. Disasters may occur in spite of how “good” we’ve been, how hard we’ve tried, how faithfully we’ve showed up for life. It may seem unfair, but it’s reality. We can take care of ourselves in a crisis by not assigning blame, not fantasizing about rescue, not refusing help, not escalating the problem through unsober behavior. We use whatever program tools we can—meetings, phone calls, prayer. We give our bodies the best nourishment, exercise, rest, and care we can. By maintaining our mental, spiritual, and physical health in these ways, we are better equipped to cope with crisis situations. Today, I live in reality. I’m not a victim. I’m not alone. ************************************************** ~ THE EYE OPENER ~ Last year I attended the Southeastern Convention at Miami Beach and I had a grand time. Yet I do not recall, offhand, the name of a single speaker I heard, but I do remember the name of the man whom I called upon as a Twelfth Stepper. I fretted somewhat, at the time, that this man caused me to miss several meetings of the Convention, yet today it is MY highlight of the affair. This man is happy on the AA Program and I am happy that I was forced to forego some of the pleasure I travelled all the way to Miami to enjoy. ************************************************** ~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~ Gratitude and Joy Dear God, May I write the wrongs done to me in sand, but write the good things that happen to me in stone Help me let go of all emotions such as resentment and retaliation, which diminish me, and hold on to the emotions such as gratitude and joy, which increase me. ~ Arabic proverb ~ ************************************************* ~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~ WORSHIP MEANS VICTORY Give unto the Lord the glory due unto his name; worship the Lord in the beauty of holiness (Psalm 29:2). God is bigger than any problem. God in you is greater than any difficulty that you have to meet. God cares for you more than it is possible for any human being to realize. God can help you in proportion to the degree in which you worship Him. You worship God by really putting your trust in Him instead of in outer conditions, or in fear, or in depression, or in seeming dangers, and so forth. You worship God by recognizing His presence everywhere, in all people and conditions that you meet; and by praying regularly. You pray well when you pray with joy. Glory ye in his holy name: let the heart of them rejoice that seek the Lord (Psalm 105:3). ************************************************** ~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~ More or Better? We pray to be changed at depth. ~ Alcoholics Anonymous tenet ~ In the movie The Jerk, Steve Martin plays Navin, a poor Southern boy who grows up in a ramshackle old house that looks like it's made toothpicks and would blow over if a strong breeze came along. Navin grows up and heads for the big city, where, through a quirk, he makes a fortune and sends large monthly contributions to his parents for many years. Finally, Navin goes home, looking forward to seeing the big, beautiful house his parents have built with the money he sent. When he arrives, Navin discovers a sprawling version of the same shack he left. Although the "mansion" is 20 times the size of the original, the quality of construction is the same, and it too looks like it would blow over in a moment. It is not really better, just bigger. If we truly wish to change our life, we must change its quality, not just its quantity. More doesn't necessarily mean better. Cosmetic improvements are meaningless; it is internal advancement we seek. A country singer ruefully likens her lover's insincere attempts to change himself to "rearranging chairs on the deck of a sinking ship." ln 1960, FCC chairman Newton Minow described the world of television as a "vast wasteland." At that time there were but five or six television channels in each city. Now with the advent of cable and satellite, many areas have over 100 channels, and we hear talk of expansion to 500. For the most part, however, the wasteland has simply expanded. We have more but not necessarily better. By contrast, a few solid enterprises such as public television are making huge contributions to quality entertainment and education. Before you ask for more, be sure you are not inviting more of the same. Ask for better. I want to grow in peace and awareness. Help me deepen my love. My lift expands as my consciousness grows. |
July 25
Step by Step Today, self-pity comes off my dance card. Just as alcohol drove me to being sick and tired of being sick and tired, so it goes with self-pity. The reason for self-pity can never be justified. For me, self-pity ranks behind resentment as the quickest and surest way to a slip or relapse. I have to ask why I harbor pity for myself. Is it because I endured so many travails during and after my drinking days? Or maybe I lost a job or two, got a lifetime driver's license suspension, drank my way into a sea of debt, got a divorce or two, have family who still wants nothing to do with me. Or maybe there's a more "acceptable" reason like death taking too much from me. And what is the function of self-pity? Maybe my ego still requires me to be the center of attention, or maybe I have a victim complex, or maybe I'm looking for justification to start drinking again - or to keep drinking. Or maybe I simply don't know how to deal with whatever psychic pain exists. Whatever its reason or purpose, self-pity serves only to impose isolation and keeps me from feeling and living something better. Today, just as it did with drinking, the same goes for self-pity: enough's enough! And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M ************************************************** ~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~ SPIRITUAL The 12 Step way of life is spiritual, not necessarily religious. ~ Anonymous ~ The journey to spirituality does not pass through any particular religious tradition. The spiritual life we speak of in recovery is not about the adoption of ceremony or conversion to a certain kind of organized thinking. Spirituality has to do with the quality of our relationship to whatever or whomever is most important in our life. We come to the spiritual through our discovery of a Power other than ourselves. This Power is not something over which we have any personal control. We can only identify it as higher than we are. As we continue to work the Steps, our experience with our Higher Power grows. We trust the influence this Power has over our lives. Many of us feel comfortable calling this Power God. Some will continue their journey back into a particular religion. Spirituality found within the Program is not religious. Each individual in recovery comes to terms with their own spirit-life in their own way, as I have come to terms with mine. ************************************************** ~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~ The pursuit of perfection often impedes improvement ~ George F. Will ~ When we are haunted by feelings of shame or self- loathing, anything less than perfection can remind us of those feelings. We seek straight A’s and when we succeed, we feel that it was only barely good enough. Sometimes we may even avoid trying something new because we refuse to make the necessary mistakes involved. In contrast, it is said that Persian rug weavers, in the course of creating their stunningly beautiful carpets, deliberately weave at least one mistake into every rug so as to not compete with God. We could all take a lesson for our lives from those weavers. On a day when we are overcome by anxiety about making a mistake, we can be more relaxed and more effective if we start out deliberately intending to make at least one mistake before the day is over. That way, we can make a place for imperfection and go on from there to do our best and learn from the experience. Today I will make a place for imperfection and learn from my mistakes. ************************************************** ~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~ Dare to be empty. Dare to let go. Dare to believe. ~ Elisabeth L. ~ We seldom receive a direct, visual experience of God. Most of us only sense a Presence, or perhaps see the evidence of God’s help. It takes profound faith to live moment by moment in the knowledge that God is always here. The founders of AA understood how difficult it is to believe. The tools of this program can help us with our struggle. In using them, we let God guide us, protect us, comfort us, and take charge of everyone else too. Asking sponsors for examples of how they have let go will help us see our opportunities more clearly. Coupling their suggestions and experiences with practice at using the Steps and slogans will strengthen our willingness to turn to God for everything. I will be able to let God take charge if I rely on the example and experience of the friends I know I can trust. Today can be easy. ************************************************** ~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~ I am getting to know myself Before I got into dual recovery, I usually didn't know what I was feeling. Often I didn't know what I wanted—except to avoid the pain of my emotional illness. I couldn't think things through, I just reacted impulsively. I was running away and running on automatic. Now that I'm sober and stable, I am slowing down. My thinking is clearer and I'm recognizing more of my feelings (it's scary at rimes). In my support group, I have a safe place to find out what I want. In short, I am learning about myself through others who share my problems. Despite what I used to believe, I see that I am not alone and I am not a bad person. I will write out a description of two things I've learned about myself this week. ************************************************* ~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~ They will never do what I ask them to do! ~ Anonymous ~ Our urges to get others to do what we want them to do raises a very important question about our happiness and how we achieve it. They suggest that our satisfaction in life comes from outside ourselves, from having others always react the way we would like them to react. When others don’t react the way we want, we are outraged and disappointed. Life can be frustrating if our satisfaction always depends on how people react to us. On the other hand, if we let go of the need to control others, or the need to have others always react and behave as we would have them react and behave, life is a lot easier and certainly less frustrating! Then, satisfaction comes from doing the best we are able to do in life, and not from how others react to us. Learning to let go takes time and faith in our Higher Power. But it is central to our recovery and peace of mind. Being responsible for our own lives now brings joy and freedom. Today help me lead my life as best I can, and let others do the same with their lives. ************************************************** ~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~ I am filled with confidence, not that I shall succeed in worldly things, but that even when things go badly for me I shall still find life good and worth living. ~ Etty Hillesum ~ It can be impossible to achieve your goals and aspirations when you have little confidence in yourself. Whether your confidence is low because of the continual criticism you received as a child or a result of the accumulated failures, losses, and disappointments you experienced in your life, it can be reassuring to know that your confidence can always be built or rebuilt. To begin you need to accept responsibility as the builder. While others can provide you with support, they don’t have the tools and materials. To create this structure, you will need a large bucket of positivity. Negative thoughts are like bent nails; they go nowhere. So discard them and replace them with positive thoughts. You will also need assorted pieces of wood. A structure is composed of many smaller pieces of wood, not one enormous piece. So set small goals that can be easily achieved. The more you achieve, the greater your confidence will be. Finally, you will need a fresh coat of paint. When you take time on your outward appearance, you can feel better about yourself. Today I will focus on building myself into a structure of self-confidence. ************************************************** ~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~ Anyhow, I say, the God I been praying and writing to is a man. And act just like all the other mens I know. Trifling, forgetful and lowdown. ~ Alice Walker, The Color Purple ~ When many of us first came into the program and heard the words "God" or "Higher Power," we may have wanted to walk out. We may have thought God a kind of heavenly scorekeeper who lived by "an eye for an eye; a tooth for a tooth." But we learned in the program that Higher Power could be any image we chose. Some of us found it easier to picture a pleasurable image when we thought of God, like a mountain stream. Some of us began conversing with an "invisible" friend. We learned any image we chose was okay, as long as we believed a Power greater than ourselves could restore our sanity. Some of us may still have trouble with the concept of a Higher Power. lf we remember we don't have to hold the negative images we grew up with, it may be easier to create a spiritual image with which we can be comfortable. Our Higher Power can be whatever or whomever we choose because it is a personal belief' I can remember my Higher Power is my personal belief, not o religious dogma. ************************************************** ~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~ Practicing the principles Our program and its principles apply to every area of our lives. Sometimes people say that they would lose their livelihood if they applied the principles to their work. But this is probably not true and speaks of fear. If we must lie or be hypocritical in any area of our lives, then we are not applying the principles. Once we realize that it is reassuring and rewarding—not threatening—to let God work through us all the time, we will feel genuine, we will feel integrity, we will feel at peace. Do I practice these principles in all my affairs? Higher Power, help me see whether any area of my life is missing the benefit of the principles. The principle I will apply today in all my affairs is God help me to stay clean and sober today! ************************************************** ~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~ Our most memorable days are marked by an absence of control. ~ PATRICIA SMITH ~ Newcomer My financial situation has unexpectedly changed, and I might have to rethink certain plans. Even though I intend to follow the principles of the program—owning up to my responsibilities honestly and promptly—I can’t help feeling scared. I’m afraid to face certain people I have to change my arrangements with. Sponsor Though reliance on our Higher Power isn’t something we reserve just for emergencies, there’s nothing like a financial situation for the chance to exercise our faith. When I was active in my addiction, the thought of powerlessness filled me with fear. I often lived as if I’d been cast in a melodrama whose inevitable outcome was shame and disgrace. Today, situations don’t have to assume the proportions of a crisis. I can go to a meeting and share, talk things over with trustworthy persons, and remember that I am more than my problem. If debt is involved, whether of money or time, I can own it honestly and set realistic goals to resolve it. Self-esteem and a sense of perspective make it possible to handle situations more calmly. I don’t pick up the old attitudes of my active life, any more than I would pick up an addictive substance. We can face difficult situations with the sober confidence that comes from faith in our Higher Power and in the process of recovery. Today, I have the serenity that comes from living in faith, not fear. ************************************************** ~ THE EYE OPENER ~ Poverty will often force a man into sobriety because of the lack of funds with which to purchase more to drink. Prosperity on the other hand gives us the money, the leisure and inclination to celebrate that prosperity. Far too frequently the new man climbs out of the gutter, gets a job and becomes re-established with his family, and does well until a payday puts cash in his pocket again. That bank roll which you think you want may be the very thing you least want. ************************************************** ~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~ A Useful Life My Creator, You have examined my heart and know everything about me. You chart the path ahead of me, and tell me where to stop and rest. Every moment, You know where I am. You know what I am going to say before I say it. This is too glorious, too wonderful to believe! I can never be lost to Your Spirit! I can never get away from my God! If I ride the morning winds to the farthest oceans, even there Your hand will guide me, Your strength will support me. Search me, O God, and know my heart. Test my thoughts; Point out anything You find in me that makes You sad, and lead me along the path of a useful life. ~ Adapted from Psalm 139:1-10 and 23-24 ~ ************************************************* ~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~ TAKING MATERIAL STEPS When you set out to solve a problem by means of prayer you should take all the ordinary normal steps in addition. Do not simply pray and then sit down and wait for something dramatic to happen. For instance, if you are praying for a position, you should pray for it as well as you know how each day, and then go out and visit agencies or prospective employers, write applications, or insert advertisements in suitable periodicals. If you want a healing, treat about it in whatever way you usually find to be best and, in addition, take whatever material steps seem to be appropriate. If your business is not prospering, have a checkup to discover if you are managing it efficiently. If you find weak points, as you almost certainly will, you must correct them forthwith. We certainly cannot expect ro go on breaking the laws of the plane on which we live, and expect prayer to compensate for this foolishness. Whatsoever thy hand findeth to do, do it with thy might . . . (Ecclesiastes 9:10). ************************************************** ~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~ Right Mind' Right Time Miracles wait not on time. ~ A Course in Miracles ~ Harbin Hot Springs is a lovely spa in the northern California mountains where the pace of life is slowed to a gentle flow. In that place, anxious rushing seems other-worldly by contrast. One morning on my way to the mineral baths, I saw a clever sign: If you are in a hurry, you are in the wrong place. We can extrapolate that principle to all of life: If you are in a hurry, you are in the wrong consciousness. Hurry is usually motivated by fear and anxiety; we worry that we will be late or not have enough time to do what we need to do. Rushing is a symptom of lack thinking, indicating we believe in “not-enoughness.” The principle of abundance applies not only to money or things; it applies equally to time. If you know you live in an abundant universe, you trust that you have enough time to do what you need to do. When we are in the consciousness of peace, time becomes elastic; it will expand or contract to accommodate our purpose. One Saturday I arrived at the post office to mail a package ten minutes before the noon closing time. When I reached the window, the clerk informed me that I had not sealed the box properly and that I would have to buy some tape. I decided I would not rush, and if Spirit wanted the package mailed, it would have to create time for it. I drove to a shopping center two blocks away, found the tape in the back of a department store, grabbed a package of laundry detergent on sale, paid for the items, and drove back to the post office, all at a relaxed pace. I arrived at two minutes to noon. Physically, what I accomplished seemed impossible, yet it had all gotten done in that time. The choice for peace creates miracles. Help me to relax and move through my day with a sense of ease and joy. I always have enough time to do what Spirit asks. |
July 26
Step by Step " ...(T)his program is not for sissies for ...it takes a man to make the grade. It is not too difficult nor easy to grasp. I have had many more reasons to drink since I have been in AA than I had in all the years of my drinking. I've had more problems but, thank God, I have had the teachings of AA with which to face them. ...When I hear the more rugged stories of alcoholics who became sicker than I did with this affliction, I humbly thank God for showing me 'the handwriting on the wall.'" - Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, Part II ("They Stopped in Time"), Ch 8 ("Rum, Radio and Television"), p 367. Today, a program that is not without work, that working it takes more courage than to keep drinking and that being sober will not shield us from the problems that non-alcoholics face but will arm us with stronger combat ammunition. I will heed the word of the experienced and not set myself up for a slip or relapse if the promises of the program don't come quickly enough to me - because I haven't worked for those promises. Nor will I dismiss the program that it doesn't work when I face the problems that everyone else has. Problems will continue to arise; how I handle them will depend on how I work the program. For as courageous and bold my decision to stop drinking, I need even more to graduate from being dry to sober. Today, I'm ready to give it my all, to "go to any lengths." And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M. ************************************************** ~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~ ATTRACTIVE The 12 Step way of life is attractive, not necessarily irresistible. ~ Anonymous ~ Life looks different through rose-colored glasses. Everything has beautiful shades and hues. We see every person as prettier or handsomer than they actually are. When we look in the mirror, the mole on our nose is smaller. The padded hips and double chin disappear. By some strange force, we look three inches taller. We should all be permitted the use of these glasses once in a while. The newcomer, especially, needs the chance to pick up their spirits. Early recovery can feel irresistible, like those rose-colored glasses. The truth of the matter is we have learned the 12 Step way of life is attractive, but not irresistible. I have come to appreciate how attractive my new life is. I no longer need to use rose-colored glasses all the time to view my world. ************************************************** ~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~ Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding. ~ Kahlil Gibran ~ We seldom choose the pain that comes into our lives. Perhaps it comes as a consequence of other choices that we made. Perhaps it comes as a result of events that are no fault of our own. Either way, our suffering is something we have no choice about. But we do have choices about how we will respond to it. As men following a spiritual path, we have come to understand that whatever we have to deal with contains important lessons. If a man falls and breaks his arm, no healing will come from blaming the rock he stumbled over or blaming the guy who put the rock in his way. He still must care for his broken bone, and the healing comes from within his own body. We ask ourselves, what am I to learn from this event? How can I take this experience and grow into a better, stronger man? When we turn a painful thing into a way to grow, we turn a negative to our advantage and our lives take a turn for the better. Today the pain I feel will point me in a direction for my development. ************************************************** ~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~ We are social beings not from habit, and not for convenience or expediency, but of necessity. ~ Mary McDermott Shideler ~ What does it really mean that we need each other? Being strong and independent were qualities we strove for. Most of us were encouraged to learn how to stand on our own two feet. Doesn’t that advice fly in the face of needing others? The truth is, we have lessons to learn and contributions to make. Our relationships with others provide us with those opportunities. None of us are here without reason. Our lives are blended for a much greater purpose than what our narrow, individual focus sees. The group, the community that claims our membership, has been assembled by God. Let’s know that we need to be here, now. I need the women and men who surround me now. I may not understand the reason, but I don’t need to. Trust is all that’s necessary. ************************************************** ~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~ I am becoming a spiritual person "Spiritual" used to mean church or religion to me—both of which I rejected. In a way I was my own higher power and I tried to handle all my problems on my own. As a result, I often felt alone, insecure, and afraid. Now that I am in dual recovery I am learning little by little the larger meaning of the word spiritual. Most important, it means I am not alone, I have a higher power, one who cares about me. When I let my higher power help, I feel more confidence and courage. I worry less about what will happen tomorrow and try to be grateful for today. When I wake up in the morning, I will practice welcoming the day. ************************************************* ~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~ I have seen much to hate, here — much to forgive. ~ Alice Duer Miller ~ Some of us grew up in very sick families, and it’s hard to put the past behind us. Coming to terms with who we are and learning to forgive are complicated by old pain, a childhood filled with anger and resentment and sadness. But we’re not children any more. Our minds, spirits and bodies are adult. We have adult tools to use in resolving old pain. In recovery we can learn to recognize our anger and begin to work at forgiveness. We might be resentful not only of our families but of past friends, too. We seemed to spend a lot of time alone, isolating ourselves from pain. Oh, how sad we were, and probably still are, unless we have taken a courageous step forward and started to work on these issues. Our past can never change, but how we view the past can. All this takes a lot of work to accept and deal with in a healthy way. It takes thought, tears, honesty, admitting our own mistakes, and lots of spiritual support from our group. A strong belief in a Higher Power helps reassure us that life can be good to us if we are good to ourselves. When we are finally ready to release ourselves from the past, when we are ready to forgive our family and be happy for our friends’ happiness, we have truly broken free. It is a long and emotional journey, but one that will free us from old pain and let us rejoice in the here and now. Today help me learn from the past, not live in it. ************************************************** ~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~ I cannot meet with a single day when I am not hurried along, driven to my wits’-end by urgent work, business to attend to, or some service to render. ~ George Sand ~ If asked to describe each of your days as if they were pictures in a coloring book, what colors would you use? Perhaps gray would suit days filled with sadness or despair. Maybe fire-engine red would signify the urgency and stress you sometimes feel. And a brilliant blue would be used when your thinking is clear and your future seems bright. But while your days may be filled with a multitude of colors, there is one color that is often neglected: white. White is a perfect complement to any color you choose. White space provides breathing room and gives you the opportunity to see and appreciate all of the colors. When you add white to each of the days in your coloring book, you are creating a space in which you can free your mind and welcome peace and serenity. And you are allowing space with no clutter, no stress, and no confusion. Think of those days that are filled to the brim with appointments, activities, meetings, deadlines, and end-less rushing. Add some white space to those days to give yourself the opportunity to experience serenity. Today I will use white as part of the palette of my day. ************************************************** ~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~ The seed of God is in us. Pear seeds grow into pear trees, nut seeds into nut trees, and God seeds into God. ~ Meister Eckhart ~ Often we may feel critical and judgmental about our maturity or personality. When we read we have God seeds within us, we may find that difficult to believe. How can we have the God seeds within us that other people have? It may seem everyone else has more good within them than we have. Just as we admire certain qualities about other people, so can we admire qualities about ourselves. We need to remember a good critic looks at both the good and the bad. A good critic doesn't pass judgment, but merely assembles the facts to allow others to make judgments. The seeds that grow pear trees don’t yield perfect trees. Some of the fruit is ripe and juicy; some is hard and dry; some fruit never matures. Yet the pear tree will be a good tree if it's tended with care. So it is with us. Every part of us may not be perfect, but with care we can make the best person possible from the God seed that began us. I can be a healthy, bountiful person if I give myself plenty of care. Tonight I won't give up on me. ************************************************** ~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~ Avoiding pity Coming into the fellowship, newcomers may see older members as unsympathetic, unsupportive, or even rude. Old-timers don’t mince words with newcomers who aren’t ready to stop using: “Go back out and try some more if you haven’t had enough.” Old- timers don’t pity newcomers. While they understand the fear and pain, they also know that pity will kill because pity leads to self- pity and eventually back to using. So if old-timers seem harsh it’s out of loving, knowing hearts—it’s out of tough love. Have I stopped pitying myself (and others)? Higher Power, help me avoid self-pity so I can do what I need to do to recover. Today I will avoid self-pity by God help me to stay clean and sober today! ************************************************** ~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~ To love what you do and feel that it matters— how could anything be more fun? ~ KATHARINE GRAHAM ~ Newcomer I’ve been asked to fill in for someone who usually makes coffee at my regular meeting. I said, “Yes, sure,” without giving it a second thought. Now I’ve got to do it, and I’m feeling resentful. I’m ashamed to admit to such a petty resentment. Sponsor There have been many occasions when I’ve said yes to a request without paying attention to a hesitation I felt within myself. Sometimes my response comes out of the desire to be good; it’s one of the forms of people-pleasing. Later, though I may keep the commitment I’ve made, I don’t enjoy it; I feel somehow put upon. In recovery, yes and no are both options, but it may take you some time to know what your heart is telling you. You may be confused by “I should” or “I have to” or by someone else’s needs. If you feel conflicted and are not sure what you really want to do, whether it’s a question of making coffee or attending a family wedding, you can give yourself some time to figure it out. You’re not required to discuss your conflict with the person who’s made the request, or to give an elaborate explanation for your decision once you make it. Once we understand that we’re making a free choice, we may even get pleasure out of doing something we previously resisted. If we give ourselves permission to say no, then saying yes can be a joy instead of a duty. Today, I honor my need to make genuine choices; I allow myself time to decide. ************************************************** ~ THE EYE OPENER ~ Patience is a virtue that few alcoholics have. We want to do everything yesterday. Even after we sober up, we seldom acquire any substantial amount of this virtue. We feel a real need to make up for all our lost years; we fret and fume over delays; we feel the world should synchronize their watches with ours. Like Phillips Brooks, we are in a hurry, but God isn't. ************************************************** ~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~ All Actions Are Born Thought I now journey in the realm of the Spirit; Your wisdom has helped me be willing to change, Your love has helped me believe I can change, Your grace has helped me make the right decisions, Your power has helped me take the right actions Today, this I believe, All negative actions are born in negative thought. All positive actions are born in positive thought. Help me always to know this is true. ************************************************* ~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~ THE MENTAL EQUIVALENT There is one thing that means more to us than all the other things in the world, and that is our search for God and the understanding of His nature. Our aim is to learn the practice of the presence of God. We practice the presence of God by seeing Him everywhere, in all things and in all people. Some years ago I coined the phrase "mental equivalent." For anything that you want in your life—a healthy body, a satisfactory vocation, friends, opportunities, and above all the understanding of God—you must furnish a mental equivalent. Supply yourself with a mental equivalent, and the thing must come to you. This expression "mental equivalent" is borrowed from physics and chemistry. We speak of the mechanical equivalent of heat, and engineers constantly have to work out the equivalent of one kind of energy in another kind of energy. They have to find out how much coal will be needed to produce so much electricity, and so on. In like manner there is a mental equivalent of every object or occurrence on the physical plane. The secret of successful living is to build up the mental equivalent that you want; and to get rid of, to expunge, the mental equivalent that you do not want. I will mediate in thy precepts, and have respect unto thy ways (Psalm 119:15). ************************************************** ~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~ Pygmy Thoughts Be not content with littleness. ~ A Course in Miracles ~ While visiting a farm, I noticed some tiny horses not much larger than big dogs. "Are those Shetland ponies?" I asked Sara, the owner. "No," Sara answered, "they are pygmy horses, bred for their small size. The breeders try to make each generation smaller than the last." Breeding for smallness is symbolic of the way we paint ourselves into a corner by thinking diminutive thoughts. When we believe in lack and act as if it were so, we manufacture a world smaller than the one we were born into, and generate a new wave of little thoughts that leads to even more limitation in our experience. Eventually, we live in a tiny world, miniature in comparison to the world we were intended to enjoy. My teacher Hilda described the spectacular flowers she saw in her mystical visions. "I've seen some huge flowers," she reported. "They were gigantic in comparison to the ones in our physical world. I was told that the great flowers are actually the ones offered at creation, but stingy thinking has shrunken the world of beauty to a mere fraction of what is possible." Jesus taught, "To him that hath, more shall be given, and to him that hath not, it shall be taken away." When we think magnanimously, we expand our universe, and when we think small, we shrink it. Let us open our minds to the highest possibilities, that we may enjoy all that is available. I pray to think with You, that I may live in the largest universe possible. My magnificent thoughts create a magnificent world. |
July 27
Step by Step "What is this power that AA possesses? This curative power? I don't know what it is. I suppose the doctor might say, 'This is psychosomatic medicine.' I suppose the psychiatrist might say, 'This is benevolent interpersonal relations.' I suppose others would say, 'This is group psychotherapy.' To me, it is God." - Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, Part II ("They Stopped in Time"), Ch 6 ("Physician, Heal Thyself!"), p 352. Today, how many more voices of experience must I hear until I simply consider the possibility of a higher power if I am still struggling with the concept? If I continue to listen skeptically to the many voices of those who have recovered by giving their will to a higher power, maybe I can simply trust the AA command to "Keep It Simple" - simply take a leap of nothing but blind faith that something as good can exist if something as evil as alcohol can bring me to my knees. But if I still resist those voices of experience, hopefully I can muster the honesty to see that doing things my way hasn't worked and that maybe something outside myself can do a better job. Today, I seek if nothing else the blind faith to trust the voices of experience or, at least, my own history of not doing such a great job on my own. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M. ************************************************** ~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~ CONFUSION Lord Ronald . . . flung himself upon his horse and rode madly away in all directions. ~ Stephen Leacock ~ Before the Program, we were like Lord Ronald. We flung ourselves upon our addiction and rode madly away in all directions and into many strange mental states. This included frightening, impulsive behavior while in a "blackout." Those who had blackouts were in complete disbelief when told of the wild and incredible things they did. Sometimes the addict is conscious of how they are behaving and either does not care or is unable to resist acting that way. Loved ones, close friends, and coworkers frequently become concerned and frightened by the confused state of someone "under the influence." The worst reaction of others is an acceptance of "confused" states of the addict as “it's something they can’t help” or "there's no use trying to help the helpless." The confusion I created when I was using was harmful to everyone, especially me. That confusion has now been thankfully replaced with clarity. ************************************************** ~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~ In running, it doesn’t matter whether you come in firsts in the middle of the pack or last. You can say, “I have finished.” There is a lot of satisfaction in that. ~ Fred Lebow ~ In the ancient Greek competitions at Olympia, young men came from all over the Greek nation to participate, and great honor was bestowed upon the winners. But just to be a participant, in the Greek democratic mind, was a high honor in itself. We modern men sometimes lose that sense of true honor. We think winning is the only goal. Such misguided beliefs have crippled us and made us feel like losers. Have you ever watched wheelchair racers giving their all? These racers honor the true notion of participation. Today I will participate with all of those around me, to play, to run, and to work for a better world. ************************************************** ~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~ To not accept all of ourselves creates polarity. Try to live your life only inhaling for five minutes. ~ Niro Asistent ~ Not all of our qualities are admirable. In fact, some embarrass us. There is nothing preventing us from developing more positive characteristics, but the inspiration to do so often wanes. It might be more reasonable to strengthen the good ones with more frequent use and learn to love the rest as evidence of our very human nature. We are complex personalities. We have been years in development, and we aren’t finished yet. Each day gives us opportunities to demonstrate a whole range of qualities. We can accept each personal trait. That doesn’t mean we have to love every aspect of what we say or do. Nor does it mean we should never try to change. But taking our life, our behavior, more in stride will give us the heart to change what we can. I am both good and bad. If I want to accentuate my positive traits, it is up to me to practice them today. ************************************************** ~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~ I know what to do when I feel overwhelmed Sometimes it feels overwhelming to try to stay off alcohol and get a grip on my emotional illness. I feel so unsure of anything. So much is changing—my habits, thinking, friends, lifestyle. I feel off-balance and I get afraid. Dual recovery is work. But I have a feeling that if I can just keep putting one foot in front of the other, I will get better. (And I don't have to do the work all on my own or all at once.) I can't predict how my life will change in dual recovery. But I trust that it will be better. And I trust that in this process, I am becoming a happier and healthier person. When I feel overwhelmed, I will pray to my higher power for strength and call a supportive friend. ************************************************* ~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~ And we are put on earth a little space, that we may learn to bear the beams of love. ~ William Blake ~ Since addiction robs us of the ability to love ourselves and share that love with others, it’s no wonder we enter sobriety full of longing. We have come to live by unhealthy rules: “Don’t talk, don’t trust, don’t feel.” These survival skills helped us withstand active dependency, but now they are obstacles keeping us from full recovery, and we must change them. This isn’t easy. No matter how much pain and isolation our old ways have brought to our lives, they are familiar ways, and attraction to the familiar is hard to resist. As unhealthy as we were in every way, we may sometimes long for comfort and predictability in our lives. Healthy love seems risky. It can be a fearsome task to open ourselves to another, to risk shame and rejection. Healthy love requires honesty and faith, careful attention to our feelings, and sharing. But now we are physically, mentally, and spiritually ready for love. The payoff is life itself, lived and shared in the moment, and the glow of self-esteem we feel when we are accepted as we are by another. Today grant me the willingness to talk, trust, and feel. ************************************************** ~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~ “It’s a question of discipline,” the little prince told me . . . “When you’ve finished washing and dressing each morning, you must tend to your planet.” ~ Antoine de Saint-Exupery ~ Most consider procrastination to be the action taken to avoid an unpleasant task—for example, rather than mow the lawn you watch the baseball game. Recovery can fall into that category of an unpleasant task. You might think, then, that being in recovery means you are not a procrastinator. After all, you joined the program even though you knew it would not be easy. But even if you never procrastinated before you entered the program, you may find it is something you now do quite well. Perhaps the process of working the Steps seems so daunting that you have delayed getting started. Or, since you were so adept in the past at ignoring your short-comings and fears, the program’s requirement that you come to terms with them has you backing away. You may become more adept at procrastination when-ever you compare the pace of recovery to the pace of your life. It is far easier to do those things that will have an immediate reward than attend to those that will require diligence and attention over an extended period of time. By understanding the reasons why you are procrastinating, you can be more capable of overcoming it. Today my motto is: Action, not procrastination! ************************************************** ~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~ Never let your head hang down. Never give up and sit down and grieve. Find another way. And don't pray when it rains if you don't pray when the sun shines. ~ Sachel Paige ~ When children are tired they make their feelings very clear. They just sit down and start to cry. As adults, we may sometimes feel like a child, ready to sit down and give up. But we're not tired children anymore. We're grown-ups, living with responsibilities and duties. Instead of giving up, we need to find another way of handling responsibilities. To begin with, we can ask for help. There are others who can help with meals, family care, and household duties. We can also rearrange our schedules so we're not doing too much at one time and not enough at other times. Whenever we feel like giving up under the pressure of responsibilities, we can remember there are always solutions. Nothing is cast in stone, unless we want it to be. Tonight I can begin thinking about making changes in my responsibilities. I can ask for help and do some rearranging so no day is overwhelming. ************************************************** ~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~ Making progress As addicts, we have a disease; as recovering addicts it is important for us to recognize that we are getting better. It is exciting and encouraging to see how we are changing. We are sick, but we are getting better. For example, it used to be that every time some-thing went wrong, we had to run; now we just want to run. The running feeling is still there, but we now have a choice. Later, by the grace of God, we may not even want to run. Can I see the progress I am making? Higher Power, while I know there is always room for improvement, help me see the progress I have already made. I will seek to improve myself today by God help me to stay clean and sober today! ************************************************** ~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~ You cannot shake hands with a clenched fist. ~ INDIRA GANDHI ~ Newcomer I attended a meeting outside of my neighborhood and had a surprising experience. As I looked around the room, I didn’t see anyone who looked or dressed the way I do. I assumed I wouldn’t connect with anyone here, but thought I’d at least hear enough of the program to get me through another day. I began by saying, “You don’t know me; I’m a stranger to this meeting, but...” When I finished sharing, the chairperson looked at me, addressed me by name, and said, “We do know you; all of us have had the feelings you’re talking about. Welcome; we’re glad you’re here.” I was shaken by her sincerity and warmth. It was humbling, after I’d blithely assumed that no one in the room would be able to relate to me. I seem to have to keep learning this lesson: I belong here. Sponsor I keep learning this lesson, too. Whether we wear black leather jackets or beige cardigans; live in trailers, farmhouses, or high-rises; however we speak, vote, or pray, we share the common problem of addiction and the bond of our commitment to recovery. If we listen well to others, we hear ourselves. If we share honestly, others hear us. Your willingness to see yourself in those who appear different from you is an attitude that can also help you accept the diverse parts of yourself. Today, I don’t make myself an outsider. I see what connects me to others and to myself. ************************************************** ~ THE EYE OPENER ~ Everything you can buy with money will either die, rot, wither, evaporate or decay. There is nothing you can purchase that will surely last as long as you will, unless it be bad health. Friends can be bought, not with money, but by a liberal expenditure of yourself. A dollar is a poor weapon to fight off real troubles. God is Good and the truly Good things of this life were put here on earth for our use by Him and not one of them carries a price tag. ************************************************** ~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~ All the Good I Can Dear God, guide me to Do all the good I can By all means I can In all ways I can In all places I can To all people I can As long as I can. ************************************************* ~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~ CLARITY AND INTEREST The key to life is to build in the mental equivalents of what you want, and to expunge the equivalents of what you do not want. You build in the mental equivalents by thinking with clearness or definiteness, and interest. Remember clarity and interest; those are the two poles. If you want to be healthy, happy, prosperous, doing a constructive work, having a continuous understanding of God, you think, feel, and get interested in these ends. What we call "feeling" in connection with thought is really interest. Ninety-nine times in a hundred the reason why Christians do not demonstrate is that they lack feeling in their desires or prayers. How are you going to expunge the wrong mental equivalents? Suppose you have a mental equivalent of resentment, or of unemployment, or of criticism, or of not understanding God. The only way to expunge a wrong mental equivalent is to supply the opposite. The right thought automatically expunges the wrong thought. If you say: "I am not going to think resentment any more," what are you thinking about except resentment? The key to the management of your thinking, and therefore, the key to the management of your destiny, is to substitute an affirmative thought for a negative thought. The Lord will perfect that which concerneth me. . . (Psalm 138:8). ************************************************** ~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~ Right in Front of You Just open your eyes and realize the way it’s always been. ~ from the song, "The Balance," by The Moody Blues ~ While Frank Baum was writing his classic series of children's fantasy books, he had not yet chosen a name for the kingdom in which his characters would play out their adventures. As Baum was sitting with a friend in his office, the fellow asked, "What is the name of the land that will be the setting for your books?" The author shifted his eyes as he pondered, and his vision fell upon his file cabinet, in particular the drawer labeled "O-Z" "Oz," Baum answered. "I shall build the story on Dorothy's adventures in the land of Oz.'' Thus was born the setting for the perennial and beloved Wizard of Oz. While we may search high and low for an answer to our need, sometimes it is right in front of us. Hilda used to say, “Take whatcha got and make whatcha want.'' Life is not a mystery to be solved; it is a game to be played. Rather than spending a lot of energy hunting and pecking. We sometimes do better to just take what is before us and use it to our advantage. Many of us have been taught that the best solution is the most complicated one. We believe we must strive and strain and pay a high cost for what we want. But often the reverse is the case: The simplest answer is the one that will work best. God does not play hide-and-seek. The truth is simple; it is obvious, and it works. Bless the simple things in your world. Appreciate your friends for the simple gifts they offer you. Rather than seeking to replace what you have, look for ways that you may more fully tap into the gifts that you have been given. You are already rich. Show me the good I already possess. Everything I need comes to me at the perfect time in the perfect way. |
July 28
Step by Step Today, abstaining from drinking is not enough in recovery. Alcoholism is a three-level disease - physical, emotional, and spiritual. While not drinking is certainly a beginning, it is not the end. Not drinking will improve the physical ravages only but not the psychological and spiritual damage. It is for treatment of the emotional and spiritual that we have AA. Here, we are given the tools to undo the damage we have done and, when repair isn't possible, how to accept our mistakes, forgive ourselves even when no one else does and move toward sobriety. Without that treatment we are less sober and more like a dry drunk. Today, I accept that not drinking by itself is not enough to attain the sobriety and quality of the life I seek. Today, I pick up and begin to use the program's steps of recovery. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M. ************************************************** ~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~ SELF-CONQUEST If I were given the opportunity to present a gift to the next generation it would be the ability of each individual to learn to laugh at himself. ~ Charles Schultz ~ In recovery we learn to laugh at the kind of person we were when our addiction was out of control. We don't laugh at the fact of our addiction; we laugh at who we once were. This is a healthy kind of self-ridicule. Above all, we laugh at the person we never again have to be if we follow the principles of our Program. To blot out the “me” of yesterday, lie have only to follow some very simple guidelines. At times obeying the principles which have been set down for us may not be easy. But with our realization that we have chosen to stop playing God comes the awareness that difficulties need not be disastrous. If everything in life came easily, we would lack sparkle in our lives. I am thankful my sense of humor has found freedom. Now I am able to laugh at myself, which is the height of self-conquest. ************************************************** ~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~ Sometimes I go about pitying myself, /and all the time / I am being carried on great winds across the sky. ~ Ojibway song, translated by Frances Densmore, adapted by Robert Bly ~ Self-pity is a rather silly temptation. Our troubles may be very compelling and vivid. They may demand our attention. However, when we start to focus on ourselves rather than our challenges, we get distracted from coping with them. Self-pity is a form of self-centeredness. We think, Why me? or Poor me, or Look at all the suffering I have. Whenever we let ourselves settle in on such self-focused thinking, we become smaller men. One way to move out of such a dead end is to laugh at our narrowness. We can say, There I go again, pitying myself when there are so many blessings in life. Another way out is to look at our challenges as teachers and open ourselves to learning their lessons. Today I will notice all the blessings that have brought me this far in life and be open to the lessons that are here for me to learn. ************************************************** ~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~ Keeping hearts happy is a lot like keeping bodies healthy. We need to feed our hearts well through reading, prayer, and meditation, and to exercise them by loving. ~ Jane Nakken ~ Our well-being is the result of concentrated effort. While we may know people who seem to be secure, happy, and serene all the time, we are seldom privy to all the work they have put into this attitude. Spiritual exercise pays off. Those we admire are examples of it. Each of us can be an example of it too. Taking some time alone with our Higher Power every day is a good way to begin our exercise. Developing a trusting friendship with God guarantees us the guidance we long for throughout our lives. Coming to believe that God is always present, we can respond to all our experiences with peaceful and loving hearts. We won’t live in fear of people or events when we have exercised our trust in and reliance on God. I will exercise some effort today to connect with my Higher Power. My efforts will affect all my experiences. ************************************************** ~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~ I need courage to change After doing Steps Four and Five in my dual recovery program, I'm spiritually and emotionally tired. (They were especially hard to do given the shame and guilt I have felt in my depression.) I don't much feel like making any more changes in Steps Six and Seven. Haven't I made enough changes by getting stable and abstinent? And yet, how can I stop now? As I'm learning in the program, I work Steps Four and Five so I'm free to make these changes in myself. I know it will not be easy, but I need to begin to let go of the parts of my personality that cause me trouble, the parts that, in recovery no longer help. I need to become open to change in Step Six and then invite change in Step Seven. With strength from my higher power, I can do this much and trust the results. Today I will pray for the courage to allow myself to be changed through my higher power. ************************************************* ~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~ Play with your kids a little hit each day. You won’t believe the difference it makes in you. ~ Joan M. ~ When we play we usually think of children. They are the ones who play all day, often in carefree abandon. But in recovery we’re realizing we need to play, too. As adults, we often find we’ve lost track of the ability or desire to play. We often don’t know how to do it anymore. We feel stiff, self-conscious, out of place. Years of drugging or drinking have buried our sense of fun and real play. We have found it’s often best to learn again from our own children or, if we don’t have any, from a friend’s children. Spending an hour or a day or a weekend with children is a wonderful way to get back in touch with our own inner child and our own ability to play. Play sharpens our minds, relaxes our bodies, and lets our spirits soar. When we play, we can thank God for making play so important that it’s the first thing we humans learn to do. Today help me enjoy some time to play. Let me be grateful for the sharing and happiness that are so much a part of play. ************************************************** ~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~ In solitude, where we are least alone. ~ Lord Byron ~ In solitude, you are never alone. Solitude is a time in which you can engage in many connections. You can take a hike through a forest and hear the sounds of the birds and the air rustle the leaves on the trees. You can look around you at the greenery and growth of living things and feel the crunch of the earth beneath your feet. The experience of all of these things makes you feel a part of them—not apart from them—thereby shifting your feelings of disconnection to connection. Solitude is a time when you can choose to look inwardly rather than outwardly, when you engage in self- examination, contemplation, and discovery. It can be a time when you remove yourself from the voices of others and the sounds of everyday life so that, in the silence that remains, you can hear your own voice. Solitude is also a time for connecting to your Higher Power, when you seek greater knowledge to better understand your purpose. It can be a time of prayer asking for the strength to overcome obstacles so you can meet all of the challenges you must face. Today I will not consider myself alone and lonely, but at peace in a solitude that provides connections and comfort. ************************************************** ~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~ You have no idea what a poor opinion I have of myself, and how little I deserve it. ~ William Gilbert ~ Can we say "I like me" and really mean it? To say that statement and mean it we have to like everything about ourselves: our good qualities as well as our bad, our appearance, the way we interact with others, the way we express ourselves. We don't have to love everything about us, but we need to learn to like ourselves. Liking ourselves doesn't mean we approve of certain traits or behaviors. But we can accept them. We don't deserve the low opinion we may have of ourselves. We aren't so bad. We make mistakes as well as everyone else. We aren't the most perfect companion, lover, friend, or parent. Neither is anyone else. There are very likable people inside us that struggle to change and become better. We deserve to like ourselves for who we are and who we're becoming. Tonight I will think of at least five qualities about myself I like. I can say "I like me" and mean it. ************************************************** ~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~ Testing the fellowship Early in recovery, we may find ourselves testing the fellowship to see how much others will respond to us. Out of fear, anxiety, loneliness, or frustration, we may act out. But as wonderful as our fellowship is, it’s not a permanent bond; it will not hold up against repeated assaults and excessive demands. When fellowship members have had enough, they may frankly object. We may feel hurt and rejected. If we then overreact and reject the fellowship, we lose. And so does the fellowship. We need to learn what issues we have along with chemical dependency and how to deal with them. We need to learn that the fellowship needs the care and respect we’d give any relationship. Am I treating the fellowship and myself well? Higher Power, help me understand my individual issues and to get help with them. Today I will show respect for myself and the fellowship by God help me to stay clean and sober today! ************************************************** ~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~ Love is or it ain't. Thin love ain’t love at all. ~ TONI MORRISON ~ Newcomer There’s a friend in recovery who I’ve started to realize responds to me the way some members of my family did. It feels almost abusive. At first, we had frequent conversations, and she was willing to listen to whatever I was going through. She talked about herself, too, at great length. Now, when I tell her how I’m feeling, she puts me down. She doesn’t come out and say, “Quit pitying yourself,” but that’s essentially the message. Her sudden mood changes are confusing, because sometimes she seems sympathetic. Sponsor Whatever else is happening, it sounds as if you’re receiving some mixed signals. Your friend is somehow conveying, through tone or indirect remarks, some feelings she’s not able to be direct about. Real friendship in recovery is a blessing; we can give and accept support, share what works for us, laugh and celebrate together. Relationships that are based only on “dumping” our troubles or “getting dumped on” aren’t very full or satisfying. An atmosphere of mutual complaining may help preserve the status quo, rather than support growth. As we learn from discomfort and move on in our process of recovery, we become more discriminating about the people we spend time with. We deserve friends who are on our wavelength and who are sensitive to us—not people who subtly abuse us for having problems to work through or who can’t decide whether or not they want our friendship. Today, I have friends who nurture and delight me. ************************************************** ~ THE EYE OPENER ~ In AA we must of necessity make the best use of our time. The hours must be allocated to our various affairs in proportion to their importance. We now have so many responsibilities we did not have in our drinking days. If we wisely divide our time between our duties to our families, our jobs, our community, our God, and getting our own lives in order, we will find little time left for worry, fear, self-pity or envy. ************************************************** ~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~ My Misadventures O Lord, save me from taking the wrong road, save me from repeating my past misadventures. I have learned in recovery that a truly satisfied life is only possible when I live the life You want me to live. When I live with You in that secret place of the Spirit, I know I'm on the right road. Your will (not mine) be done. ************************************************* ~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~ EASY DOES IT What you concentrate upon you bring into your life. Many people fail to concentrate successfully because they think that concentration means will power. They suppose that the harder they press the faster they get through. But that is quite wrong. Think of the photographic process. The secret of a clear picture lies in focus. You focus your camera lens steadily for the necessary length of time. Suppose I want to photograph a vase of flowers. I place them in front of the camera and keep them there. But suppose that after a few moments I snatch away the vase and hold a book in front of the camera, and then snatch that away, and hold up a chair, and then put the flowers back for a few moments. You know what will happen to my photograph. It will be a crazy blur. Is not that what people do to their minds when they cannot keep their thoughts concentrated for any length of time? They think health for a few minutes and then they think sickness or fear. They think prosperity and then they think depression. Is it any wonder that man is so apt to demonstrate the "marred image"? It is always good to make a practical experiment, so I advise you to take a single problem in your life—and just change your mind concerning your problem and keep it changed for a month, and you will be astonished at the results. If you really do keep your thought changed you will not have to wait a month for results. . . . he that shall endure until the end, the same shall be saved (Matthew 24:13). ************************************************** ~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~ The Main Thing The main thing is to keep the main thing the main thing. ~ Anonymous ~ The rascal Nasrudin stood on the bow of a boat next to a pompous intellectual who began to quiz him on his education. "Have you ever studied astronomy?" asked the professor. "I can't say that I have," answered the mystic. "Then you have wasted much of your life. By knowing the constellations, a skilled captain can navigate a boat around the entire globe." Then he asked, "Have you studied meteorology?" "No," answered Nasrudin. "Then you have wasted most of your life," the academician chided. "Methodically capturing the wind can propel a sailing ship at astounding speeds." Then he inquired, "Have you studied oceanography?" "Not at all." “Ah! What a waste of your time! Awareness of the currents helps sailors find food and shelter." A few minutes later, Nasrudin began to make his way toward the stern of the ship. As he ambled forward, he nonchalantly asked the fellow, "Have you ever studied swimming?" "Haven't had the time," the professor haughtily responded. "Then you've wasted all of your life—the boat is sinking." Each of us reaches a point in life where we must decide what is really important and live from our highest values. We must put aside lesser pursuits in favor of what truly satisfies our soul. When all is said and done, we will remember our moments of love and kindness, and all else will fall away. Do not be distracted from your soul's true purpose. Do what is meaningful to you, and trust that all else will be taken care of. Help me to stay on purpose today. I pray to live from my heart. My priority is peace. I do what I am here to do. |
July 29
Step by Step "I never knew which came first, the thinking or the drinking. If I could only stop thinking, I wouldn't drink. If I could only stop drinking, maybe I wouldn't think. But they were all mixed up together, and I was all mixed up inside. And yet I had to have that drink. You know the deteriorating effects, the disintegrating effects of chronic wine-drinking. I cared nothing about my personal appearance. I didn't care what I looked like. I didn't care what I did. To me, taking a bath was just being in a place with a bottle where I could drink in privacy. I had to have it with me at night, in case I woke up and needed that drink." - Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, Part II ("They Stopped in Time"), Ch 4 ("The Housewife Who Drank at Home"), p 337. Today, I don't care which came first, the delusional and irrational thinking or the drinking, because it doesn't matter. Whether some deluded thinking led me to alcohol or if excess drinking fueled a thinking problem is moot because, now, the two are intertwined. My thinking now cannot be that I can start drinking responsibly if I get my thinking in a logical sync. Nor can I believe that I can drink responsibly. Neither is possible. Which came first, the chicken or the egg? Does it matter? The chicken's polluted. Today, I don't care where my drinking thinking or thinking drinking came from. I need both corrected, and I'm where I need to be to get both. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M. ************************************************** ~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~ OPPORTUNITIES A wise man will make more opportunities than he finds. ~ Francis Bacon ~ Opportunities are like miracles in our life of recovery. But they won't necessarily fall into our hands without any effort on our part. Spiritual progress is the self-chosen goal we seek in our recovery. Opportunities for spiritual progress are abundant in the Program. We have a positive attitude that comes from working all the Steps. Opportunities for growth are earned, not given. When we work to make opportunities happen, we can enjoy the success that follows, not only for ourselves, but for others. Admitting our powerlessness gave us the freedom of choice, the freedom for opportunities. In recovery, I delight in the chance I have to make my own successes through planned progress instead of simply wishing for the best things in life. ************************************************** ~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~ Love is presence. ~ Theresa Gerhardinger ~ When we sit with a loved one who is very ill, we often feel helpless. When a friend is confronted with great pain or tragedy, we wonder, what should I say? To be comfortable in any relationship, we need to understand powerlessness and accept it. Sometimes the only and the most loving thing to do is to be present. When we see our wife or our partner make the same mistake over and over again, we want to take charge. When we don’t get what we want from our beloved, we try to extract what we think we need. But we learn that true love exists within limits. We cannot fix others, and they cannot fix us. Once we accept the limits, once we accept powerlessness, we can relax into the love and enjoy its pleasures. Today I will be present in the moment with the people in my life. ************************************************** ~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~ Every once in a while I make a list of my obsessions. Some obsessions change and there are always more. Some are thankfully forgotten. ~ Natalie Goldberg ~ It’s not just the disease of alcoholism that causes obsessions; some say that being human is all it takes. Obsessions are generally triggered by wanting something or somebody to change. The problem is that although we don’t have the power to change other people, we dwell incessantly on the possibility. Through the help of the Twelve Steps, we are gradually becoming aware that we can change no one but ourselves. That doesn’t mean we’ll immediately quit obsessing about what others should do, but we now have the tools to recognize what is in our control and what isn’t. We can get rid of obsessions. My obsession with anything today means I have for-gotten what is in my control and which tools can help me. I’ll look to a friend for guidance. ************************************************** ~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~ I want to stop worrying I'm coming to terms with the fact that I think too much, or more accurately, worry too much. I'd rather stop. I can see now that it doesn't do me much good. In fact, the more I think (more like obsess), the more troubled and stuck I get, and the less I can do about it. And the less I can do, the less I can change. But to recover, I need to change. It may be gradual, but to recover from my mental and chemical health problems, I need to change both the way I think and my lifestyle. "Obsessing myself" into paralysis will not help. For five minutes today I will try to simply sit, breathe deeply, and not think (what you might call "meditate"). ************************************************* ~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~ We crucify ourselves between two thieves; regret for yesterday and fear of tomorrow. ~ Fulton Oursler ~ We’ve all said or done things we regretted. If only we could turn back the clock and have a second chance. Sadly, we don’t have that power. We have to live with our words and deeds, even when we spoke or acted out of haste or in a chemical fog. We can’t do anything about tomorrow, either, and worrying about tomorrow robs us of today. Certainly we can prepare by doing homework, packing for a trip, or writing the speech we are to give. But once we’ve done the preparation, it’s time to let go. But today is ours. We can make amends, see someone in person and say, “I’m sorry,” or send a card with a note of apology. We can think about what we could do differently in the future. And we can pray for guidance from our Higher Power. We can’t erase what we said or did, but we can speak or act differently today. Taking life a day at a time means living in today, in the here and now. Living in the past or future is futile. Instead, we can cherish this moment, relax and enjoy it. Today help me to let go of the troubles of the past and the fears of tomorrow. Help me make the most of today. ************************************************** ~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~ All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy ... we must die to one life before we can enter another. ~ Anatole France ~ In the movie Defending Your Life, those who die are put on trial. Where they go next—to a joyful afterlife or back to earth to do it all over again—is determined by a panel of judges. As the main character is on trial, he falls in love and realizes he will most likely not be with the woman in the after-life because they made different choices in their earthly lives. When the judges confirm this, he takes an enormous risk. He refuses to lose out on the opportunity to be with the one he loves and goes against the judges’ decision to be with her in the after-life. The program teaches that in order to gain a new way of life, you must release your former one. By developing El greater understanding of the harm your former life has caused, you are more capable of seeing the mistakes you made, the risks you did not take, and the opportunities you let slip away. And then you have a choice: return to your former life, or enter into a new way of living. Today I will let go of my former life and develop a new way of living. ************************************************** ~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~ The sculptor produces the beautiful statue by chipping away such parts of the marble block as are not needed—it is a process of elimination. ~ Elbert Hubbard ~ When people set aside items for a yard sale, they tag things no longer needed. When we look at things we might sell, we might be surprised to remember how badly we felt we needed or wanted a particular item. But over time, or because we grew up, we found we could eliminate the once-treasured item from our lives. We'll find we can do the same process of elimination with our character defects. Some may be impossible to eliminate now for whatever reason. Yet over time, we may find ourselves outgrowing this defect or gathering courage to eliminate it. Tonight we're on our way to sculpting beautiful people—ourselves. We may have a long way to go in forming our shapes, but we're in no hurry. Every so often we'll eliminate a piece of marble so more of our beautiful shapes are revealed. Before long, we'll have smooth, striking statues for all to behold. I'm on my way to sculpting a beautiful me. Every day I will sculpt some more and eliminate things I don't need. ************************************************** ~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~ Looking for answers We are learning that the geographical cure does not guarantee staying clean and sober. As the saying has it, no matter where you go, there you are. We are learning that it’s better to look for the answers in ourselves and our program than in a different city or country. No person, place, or thing will keep us clean and sober. Recovery is in our program, in our hearts, and in the “still small voice within.” Do I know where to look for answers? Higher Power, help me see that I will find answers only in my soul and not in distant places. Today I will look within by God help me to stay clean and sober today! ************************************************** ~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~ Remember if people talk behind your back, it only means you are two steps ahead! ~ FANNIE FLAGG ~ Newcomer In the beginning, I wanted to spread the amazing news and tell everyone that I was in recovery. Now I’m not sure it was such a good idea. Sponsor We don’t have to give in to regrets about the past—including our recent past in recovery. But we can learn from it and base current decisions on what our experience has been teaching us. Like you, I wanted to tell the world about my newfound recovery; it was too good to keep secret. I guess I thought that I had the answer for everyone; I imagined that I could save a few hundred souls by spreading the word. Good friends were genuinely delighted for me. One person at work said that I looked a lot more relaxed and happy, and asked me where these meetings were; eventually she did enter recovery. Another friend told me disapprovingly that he thought I should keep quiet about my addiction and recovery. These days, I have less of a need to share unasked-for information indiscriminately. I make decisions based on my sense of a particular person or situation, rather than acting on impulse. When it feels right, I don’t hesitate to share my recovery. Today, I have the right to privacy. ************************************************** ~ THE EYE OPENER ~ Humility has been the hardest of all the virtues to acquire for many of us. Few of us know what it actually is. Many have it and think they don't; many don't have it and think they do. Many admit they don't understand the word and forget it, leaving to the world to judge whether they have it or not. The best way to acquire Humility is to constantly remind yourself how much lower than a snake's belly you would be but for the Grace of God. You made a horrible mess of running your life and failed completely but that Grace could and did, make you what you are today. ************************************************** ~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~ Continue to Watch I have entered the world of the Spirit; I will grow in understanding and effectiveness; I will continue to watch for selfishness, dishonesty, resentment, and fear. When these crop up, I will ask You at once to remove them. I will discuss these defects with someone immediately and make amends quickly if I have harmed anyone Then I will resolutely turn my thoughts to someone I can help. Love and tolerance of others is my code. ~ Adapted from material in Alcoholics Anonymous, Fourth Edition, Page 84 ~ ************************************************* ~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~ MAINTAINING THE NEW EQUIVALENT There is an instructive legend of the Middle Ages. It seems that a certain citizen was arrested by one of the barons and shut up in a dungeon by a ferocious looking jailer who carried a great key. The door of his cell shut with a bang. He lay in the dark dungeon for twenty years. Each day the big door would be opened with a great creaking; water and bread would be thrust in and the door closed again. After twenty years the prisoner decided that he wanted to die but he did not want to commit suicide, so the next day when the jailer came he would attack him, and the jailer would then kill him. In preparation he thought he should examine the door so he turned the handle, and to his amazement the door opened. He found that there was no lock. He groped along the corridor and felt his way upstairs. At the top of the stairs two soldiers were chatting, and they made no attempt to stop him. He crossed the great yard. There was an armed guard on the drawbridge but paid no attention to him, and he walked out a free man. He went home unmolested. He had been a captive, not of stone and iron, but of false belief. He had only thought he was locked in. Bring my soul out of prison, that I may praise thy name: the righteous shall compass me about; for thou shalt deal bountifully with me (Psalm 142:7). ************************************************** ~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~ Why Wait for Heaven? Heaven is here. There is no other place. Heaven is now. There is no other time. ~ A Course in Miracles ~ When I landed after a long airplane flight, I was disappointed not to find my friend who was supposed to pick me up. When I called her house, she was still home, which meant that I would need to wait for nearly an hour in a hot and crowded airport. After grumbling to myself for a while, I decided to play a game I called "Heaven." I imagined that everyone and everything I saw was a part of a scene in heaven. People were stepping off airplanes, happy to finally arrive in paradise; families were greeting one another with open arms; and porters were assisting passengers with luggage to get them settled in heaven. Soon I enjoyed the game so much that I hardly noticed an hour go by. When my friend arrived, I invited her to sit and play the game with me. Just then a man asked us if we would watch his bags while he made a phone call. In heaven, we had nowhere to go, and we gladly said yes, which he very much appreciated. Because we were at peace, we were in a perfect position to serve, and we brought his world closer to heaven. Right where you are, there is just as much joy, peace, and happiness available as there is anywhere and anytime. The remedy for unhappiness is not geographical; it is attitudinal. If you choose to find peace where you are, you will bring it wherever you go and invite others to join you. Help me remember that love is everywhere. Wherever I go, there I will find You. I carry the peace of God with me wherever I am. |
July 30
Step by Step Today, I realize the character defects identified in my Fourth Step probably existed before my drinking days and that alcohol simply developed them to their destructive zenith. My Sixth and Seventh steps of first admitting to God and then asking that He remove my defects assume paramount honesty in my recovery because I am likely to be challenged to release defects that have had a lifetime to take root - more so than those that those that were born of my drinking days. And if my defects are lifelong, simply not drinking will not give me the recovery and quality of sobriety for which I strive. Today, I am an alcoholic, and abstaining from drinking is not enough. I consider myself a part of AA and, today, as I talk the talk, I will walk the walk. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M. ************************************************** ~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~ GIVING UP There must be a beginning of any great matter but the continuing unto the end until it is fully finished yields the true glory. ~ Sir Francis Drake ~ It isn't a matter of stubbornness to persist in any effort. It is common sense. When we persist in taking our time and carefully consider how to handle a situation or give an answer, we usually discover the right solution. We spent most of our lives before the Program always "giving up." It's easy to give up on a problem too quickly. A lengthy effort at finding a solution is sometimes painful and irritating. But the answers will come if we continue doing the research through study and prayer, one day at a time. When we decide to begin a kind act, we may need bulldog determination to follow that act to its completion. We should enter into any action with a strong desire. There can be no hesitation or any thought of hanging back in taking the correct action toward answers. The road may be long and hard before I find the answers. I will not give up too quickly. ************************************************** ~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~ Everything I did in my life that was worthwhile I caught hell for. ~ Earl Warren ~ We have avoided conflict and sometimes taken the easier way when we should have stood up for what we believed in. We have procrastinated on difficult matters to keep the peace. Sometimes our fear of offending someone led us into dishonesty. We knew that if we said what we thought, or if we let others know our true feelings, we would have to deal with their reactions. Great men do things that don’t please everyone all the time. When we have true definition as a man, our boundaries will give others a target if they are looking for one. Perhaps, at work or at home, we have something we feel needs to be said but we know it will displease others. Even our Twelve Step meetings take inventory on what is going well and what is not. So we learn to stand up for our beliefs and our principles. If no one ever gives us hell, we are probably not doing our best. Today I will act on my true beliefs and express my honest feelings. ************************************************** ~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~ We alone cannot heal the betrayals in our lives, but our inner spirit’s healing power can enter our souls and soothe our pain with understanding, acceptance, and love. ~ Rita Casey ~ Betrayal is a reality of our lives. Perhaps a parent or a spouse was the perpetrator. No one of us escaped it. And just as we were betrayed, we quite likely were betrayers too. We are not perfect human beings. We did the best we could with what we knew. Now we know so much more. Had our betrayers had the information we now cherish, they’d likely have been quite different. Fortunately, we can look to our Higher Power (our inner spirit) to ease the pain that still lingers. With the strength of this spirit and our willingness to forgive our betrayers, we can find peace and feel love once again. What we know now convinces us that a forgiving heart heals. I will reap wonderful rewards today if I let my inner spirit help me to forgive. ************************************************** ~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~ It’s OK for me to have fun again Recovering from a drug addiction and a mood disorder is a lot of work. Every week I see my therapist and attend two recovery meetings. Slowly I am changing my life. Recovery is a long-term process, but it is not the whole of my life. In fact recovery, too, calls for balance. The other day I got inspired to hop on my dusty bike and take a ride around my neighborhood. I felt the speed and the wind and the freedom. Suddenly I realized I was smiling. I was having fun! I want more! Today I will set aside at least ten minutes to do something fun. ************************************************* ~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~ My heart is a lonely hunter that hunts on a lonely hill. ~ Fiona Macleod ~ Recovery asks us to live each day responsibly, but defining responsibility can be difficult. Many of us knew little about mature, disciplined, fulfilling lifestyles. Our original families may have been damaged, our parents unavailable as sources of nurturing. How, then, do we choose a new path that seems so unfamiliar and unnatural? We begin by asking for help from our Higher Power when we are unsure or in pain. Next, we think through our choices, guided by the knowledge we’ve gained. And finally, we act. We know, for instance, that we’ve returned to an active level of our illness when we recognize the ache of isolation. At that point, it is our responsibility to call someone, share our feelings, and ask advice. Next, we call on our spiritual growth to help us be honest and act on the advice we get. When we do this, we are practicing self-love, we are growing, and we are taking control of what we can do to change our lives. In doing these things, day by day our Higher Power will help us remove sadness and replace it with fellowship. We are giving up our isolation and becoming part of our world again. Today let me take healthy action to eliminate one source of pain or sadness in my life. ************************************************** ~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~ Whatever there he of progress in life comes not through adaptation but through daring.... ~ Henry Miller ~ When you were a child your parents may have measured your growth by drawing a pencil line on a wall above your head. Each time a line was added, you had a way of measuring your progress. When you started school, your report card showed your grades from term to term and provided a greater understanding of how you were advancing in your education. You had another way of measuring your progress. There are many times in your life when you can mea-sure your progress quite clearly. But how do you measure your progress in recovery? You can certainly feel what it is like to be clean and sober. You can receive recognition for the amount of time you have accrued through key anniversary dates. And you can know where you are in your work on the Twelve Steps. Rather than strive to see where you are, focus instead on how far you have come from the life you once lived and from the person you once were. Reflect on the quality of the relationships you have today. Consider all of the risks you have taken that you might never have undertaken. Then ask yourself, “Who do I like better: the person I once was, or the person I am now?” Today I recognize and celebrate my progress. ************************************************** ~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~ The error of the past is the success of the future. A mistake is evidence that someone tried to do something. ~ Anonymous ~ Remember our high school science fairs? There was always one entry that seemed to be everything the judges wanted: it was perfect, innovative, instructive. Yet there were other entries that would also win awards, and we may have wondered why they won. They seemed to be simplistic and maybe messy. So why did they win recognition? Most often it was because of the effort someone put into the entry. Not every winner has to be the most perfect, most innovative, and most instructive. Some are winners because the person who did them made his or her best effort. The important thing to know tonight is that it’s the effort that counts. We don't have to have all the answers, or act in the most mature way, or be the best friend ever. There is room for error in everything because nothing is gained in perfection the first time around. We can make mistakes because mistakes are sometimes the only way to reach perfection, and to measure how hard we've tried. Have I made mistakes today? Tonight I can see my mistakes as valuable evidence of my efforts. ************************************************** ~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~ Realizing the consequences No matter who we are as individuals, we all bear the consequences of our lifestyle and behavior. High, we experience pain, suffering, grief, and eventually insanity or premature death. Clean and sober, we experience rewarding lives. Getting clean and sober doesn’t mean that we suddenly become conformists. But whoever or whatever we become, we must practice kindness and tolerance. If we do, our lives will be meaningful in ways we can-not imagine. Am I fully aware of the consequences of my choices? Higher Power, help me become more thoughtful and patient. Today I will take stock of my lifestyle by God help me to stay clean and sober today! ************************************************** ~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~ Why do birds sing in the morning? It’s the triumphant shout: "We got through another night.” ~ ENID BAGNOLD ~ Newcomer I’ve heard the expression “The person who got up first this morning is the most sober person in the room.” But doesn’t time in recovery count for anything? Sponsor I have great respect, as most of us do, for the experience of those who’ve been in recovery for long periods; I’m always interested in their perspective on things. I figure that they must have been doing something right, if they’ve lived for a significant length of time without returning to addictive substances or behavior But emphasis on seniority might foster the mistaken belief that we can expect to finish our process of recovery someday. The tools that helped me to stay sober at the beginning are helping me to stay sober today. I need to live in the present moment. A focus on today is a gift that recovery both offers and depends on. A slogan like the one you’ve quoted reminds me of that. So does the way some people refer to their length of time in recovery by saying that they’ve been here for “a few twenty-four hours” rather than a specific number of years. It’s an act of humility. I live and recover one day at a time. ************************************************** ~ THE EYE OPENER ~ No pleasures of our drinking days ever compensated for those horrible nights of wakeful tossing. The interminable pacing the floor; those night sweats; the endless hours when we couldn't sleep and at the same time dreaded falling asleep. The hours that seemed to stretch into eternity as we lay in bed with remorse as a bedfellow. Then the Hell of the goof-balls that made our nights better and our days worse. The physical pain we might have endured for many more years, but the anguish of the heart and soul was unendurable. ************************************************** ~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~ The Joy of Right Living With bended knees, with hands outstretched, I hope for the effective expression Of Your Spirit working within me: For this love and understanding, truth and justice, For wisdom to know the false from the real That I might lessen the sufferings of my fellows. You are love, understanding, wisdom, and virtue. Let us love one another, Let us practice mercy and forgiveness, Let us have peace, born of fellowship. Let my joy be of right living, of doing good to others Happiness is for us whose happiness flows to others. ~ Zoroastrian prayer ~ ************************************************* ~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~ WHAT MOSES MEANS TODAY Read Exodus 19:6-20:20. Moses was a man of extraordinary understanding of God and of man. He was also one of the great historical leaders of the human race. He was born in Egypt, which was in those days the most highly civilized country in the world. But at the time, the authorities gave orders to kill the male children of the Israelites, and Moses’ mother tried to save his life by placing him in a little basket and hiding it at the river's edge where Pharaoh's daughter could not help but see it when she came to the river to bathe. The sister of Moses was told to hide among the tall reeds to guard the baby. The king's daughter saw this little basket, opened it, and when the child cried, her heart was touched. She looked around, and out came the sister, and you know the rest of the story, how the sister was sent to fetch a woman to take care of the child, and brought Moses' own mother. Now there is a remarkable text here. Pharaoh's daughter says to the woman: Take this child away, and nurse it for me, and I will give thee thy wages (Exodus 2:9). In the Bible sense you are the King's Daughters as soon as you reach out for the Truth. The infant Moses is that higher teaching that draws out your heart. Now, how do we nourish our infant Moses? By prayer and meditation. Otherwise the child will starve. However, if we take the child and nurse it, we shall get our wages, and our wages shall be freedom, peace of mind, harmony, understanding, and the fellowship of God Himself. ************************************************** ~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~ Turtles All the Way Down There is only one question that all of science and philosophy seeks to answer: "Is the universe a friendly place?” ~ Albert Einstein ~ A king woke up his advisor late one evening, anxiously reporting, "I couldn't sleep because I began to fear that the world would fall into an abyss." "Not to worry," comforted the advisor. "The earth is held up by a giant bear." "Thank you," answered the king, breathing a sigh of relief. Half an hour later, the king knocked again. "What is holding up the bear?" he inquired. “A great turtle," the sage answered. "He will not let the bear fall." "That's good," responded the king. The seer was not surprised when half an hour later, the king knocked again. The advisor opened the door and, just as the king was about to speak, he raised his hand and told the monarch, "It's turtles all the way down!" If we begin to question our support, we can enter into an abysmal tailspin of worry. Eventually we come to the point where we either trust implicitly or doubt compulsively. lf we do not trust, we will find more and more reasons to fear, and if we trust, we shall confirm our vision of safety. We can short-circuit the experiment by practicing trust in the universe at every level, knowing that for every turtle we question, there is one below it. I pray to have faith in things unseen, knowing Your loving hand sustains me. I am always safe because God is always present. |
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