Even More Recovery Readings and Meditations - July
 

July 1

Step by Step

"God will constantly disclose more to you ...Ask Him in your morning meditation what you can do each day for the man who is still sick. The answers will come, if your own house is in order. ...(O)bviously you cannot transmit something you haven't got. See to it that your relationship with Him is right, and great events will come to pass for you and countless others. This is the Great Fact for us." - Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, Ch 11 ("A Vision for You"), p 164.

Today: "This is the Great Fact for us." And it is "great events" for me and "countless others" that I may not have yet but will receive. This Great Fact is not free, however . We must have a relationship that is right with our higher power, and our own house has to be in order before we can carry out the command of the 12th Step to help someone else. But if our relationship with our God as we understand him is "right" and our own house is in order, this - the promise of the program - comes to us. Today, I focus my vision on the promise of what will be instead of returning to what drinking does to me. And my beginning echoes back to Step One: "(I am) powerless ..."). Second, I seek the willingness to come to believe in that power greater than myself. I want the promise of the program, and I am willing and ready to work for it. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

LIFE WITH MODERATION

O grant me, Heaven, a middle state
Neither too humble nor too great,
More than enough for nature's ends,
With something left to treat my friends.

~ David Mallet ~

One of the biggest defects of character, a shortcoming suffered by us all, is our inability to be moderate in living. During our active addiction we did everything to extremes. We thought anything worthwhile must always be done to excess. “Too much ain't enough" was the keynote of our living. We wanted to do everything as often and is much as possible. It was all or nothing for us.

Now we try to change our behavior and thinking so there can never be too much or too little. We work for a happy middle ground. In our Program we learn early that extremes in anything will accomplish nothing.

I must discard my old ideas about living to extremes. It is now the middle ground I seek.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

The past has flown away. The coming month and year do not exist; ours only is the present’s tiny point.

~ Shabestari ~

We are tempted to look back and to look ahead. But what we most need to do is be present in this moment, with ourselves, with our loved ones and friends, and with our experience right here and right now. When we were lost and asleep in our using days and codependency, we could not be emotionally present. Our thoughts were taken up with how we would get our next drink, our next big gambling win, or our next sexual exploit—or with how to handle the latest crisis. To be emotionally present and live in the moment: this takes time, and it’s a frame of mind that develops as we grow in recovery.

One way we become more present in the moment is to practice gratitude. We can always name a few things we feel grateful for: small and big things, funny and serious things. Looking through the lens of gratitude brings us into the immediate moment.

Today I will look at my day through the lens of gratitude.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

It is now clear to me that from the beginning some human beings saw that the best way of I taking life was lightly.

~ Florida Scott-Maxwell ~

Not overreacting to the events in our lives is a major achievement for some of us. Thinking before acting is a learned behavior; we have time and many daily opportunities to learn it.

The people who seem to laugh easily, who are always ready with encouragement, who seldom are in a personal crisis, are obvious targets of our envy. What makes them different? Why don’t they struggle like we do? It isn’t fair, we think.

There’s just one difference between them and us: it’s called faith. They have it, and we can too. Beginning each day reflecting on the Serenity Sprayer will help us develop the faith we lack. Giving to God the many problems we needlessly worry over lightens our load. Laughter can come more easily to us too.

Letting God handle my problems today will allow me more time to laugh.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

My problem has a name

Before I got into recovery I didn’t know what my problem really was, and I didn't know how to help myself. I was confused and I wound up running from my deep pain. The ways I tried to cope only made things worse.

I now know that I have a dual disorder. And to guide me I have embraced the Twelve Step program. To help recover, I will go to meetings; read the literature; stay in touch with my sponsor and other helpers. If I do these things I trust that I will grow stronger and my problems will weaken. I am grateful that my problem has a name because it lessens my fear and leads to a solution.

I will carry a flash card with "Keep it simple" on one side and the Serenity Prayer on the other.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

When you take your inventory, don’t forget your assets.

~ Carol K. ~

Part of taking a good inventory is identifying our strengths. When we concentrate only on our defects and weaknesses, we shortchange ourselves and everyone around us. All of us have assets, and taking an inventory is a good time to get in touch with them.
We need to identify the things we do well, the things we have done for others, the care we have given. We need to give ourselves credit for our healthier bodies, our clearer minds, and our new spiritual awareness. We can let ourselves feel good about these things. They are now part of us, part of who we are. And when our inventory is really complete, we can share these positive attributes with God, ourselves, and another human being.

There is so much we can learn and much we can give ourselves by acknowledging our strengths, our assets, and our goodness. These good things are the foundation for much growth in recovery, and we can enjoy their rewards today.

Today let me remember the good things in me.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.

~ Step Seven ~

A prayer is a humble and heartfelt communication with a power greater than yourself. A prayer can admit a weakness, communicate a need, or convey praise and gratitude. Prayers can unburden your heart, give you strength and courage, and deepen your faith and trust in a Higher Power. Use the following prayer as you work on your understanding and acceptance of Step Seven.

Step Seven Prayer Higher Power, I devote my life in recovery to you. I treasure your guidance, and humbly ask for your help. You are my creator. You have given me life so that I may live it with purity and respect. But I alone have created my many defects of character. I have allowed them to grow because I have paid more attention to my addiction than to you or to others.

Higher Power, I have made many mistakes. I have harmed others. And I have distanced myself from you. I pray to you now to help me remove these defects of character so that I may commune with you with a greater willingness to listen and follow your guidance, and so that I can be more useful to you and to others who share In my journey. This I ask in your name.

Higher Power, thank you for listening to my prayer.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

Why do some people always see beautiful skies and grass and lovely flowers and incredible human beings, while others are hard-pressed to find anything or any place that is beautiful?

~ Leo Buscaglia ~

We may have some pretty strong feelings about those people who come to meetings and say only positive things. We may feel uncomfortable with their smiling faces and warm welcomes. We may wonder how anyone could be so happy. We know they wouldn't be happy if they had a day like we had today!

It’s hard to break the pattern of seeing only the negative things. We've spent so long at the bottom of the barrel that it’s hard to be at the top. It takes work to think of things in a positive way; that may be a new way of thinking for us.

But we can start thinking positively. Instead of remembering all the negative things that happened today, we can sift through until we find just one positive thing. After a while we may come up with two, or three or many more. Soon, we may be one of those positive people with a cheery outlook!

Can I think of one positive thing that happened to me today? Can I express this positive thing to others?

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Seeking freedom

If we want freedom from addiction, we must start the process ourselves. Then we must accept any help offered and follow the direction of our Higher Power. Recovery does not come to us without effort. First we seek abstinence; we want to be clean and sober. Later, we look for the joys of living.

It often takes months and years to grasp the principles that will set us free. But free of what? At first, freedom from alcohol and other drugs; then, freedom from fear and from anything else that binds us. To become free, we can begin seeking our principles and our truth today.

Am I seeking freedom?

Higher Power, help me become free from the things that bind me.

Today I will work toward freedom from

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

It is not possible to step twice into the same river.

~ HERACLITUS ~

Newcomer

Suddenly, my life has become very full. Things I thought I had lost are coming back to me. Changes are taking place at work and in my personal life. Most of it is good, I guess, but I’m overwhelmed with feelings of fear. I don’t know where I’m going; I wish things would stay still.

Sponsor

No one dislikes change as much as I do. When I was active in my addiction, I did everything I could to maintain the status quo. Things changed anyway—usually for the worse. Today, when good things come, I can feel just as scared of them as of bad things. I’m afraid that I won’t know how to handle new challenges; I’m afraid people will find out how inadequate I feel. I remind myself that I’m not in charge of the way things turn out; I show up for life and do what I’m supposed to do. I’m responsible for the actions I take, not the results. I let myself take things slowly. I don’t have to rush. And I don’t have to face my fears alone: the more I talk about them, the easier things get.

As we go through periods of change or stress, it helps to imagine that we have a volume control knob; we can turn down the volume of our thoughts about the future and focus our attention on enjoying the present moment.

Today, I face change calmly. I enjoy the present moment and let the future take care of itself. The slower I go, the faster I’ll get there.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

A sinner is usually a sinner because he is thinking wrong, whereas a mean person has a warped and deformed personality.

A sinner’s faults usually lie in his thoughtlessness, but the mean person is nearly always a person of strong will and determination.

Sinning stems from weakness, meanness from strength.

A dog will love a sinner but seldom a mean person.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

BLESSED MOTHER TERESA’s PRAYER

Let nothing upset you;
Let nothing frighten you.
Everything is changing;
God alone is changeless.
Patience attains the goal.
Who has Cod lacks nothing:
God alone fills all of our needs.

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

KARMA

Just as like attracts like, so like produces like. This is a cosmic law, which means that it is universally true throughout the whole of existence right up through the higher planes. As Jesus put it, you do not gather grapes from thorns or figs from thistles; and he also said,

Even so every good tree bringeth forth good fruit; but a corrupt tree bringeth forth evil fruit . . . (Matthew 7:17).

So it is with our thoughts and words and deeds. As we sow so shall we reap, sometimes almost immediately, sometimes after a long interval. But always, sooner or later like produces like.

Reincarnation also explains the differences in talents that we find between one man and another. The born musician is a man who has studied music in a previous life, perhaps in several lives, and has therefore built that faculty into his soul. He is a talented musician today because he is reaping what he sowed yesterday. In the East this law of sowing and reaping is known as karma and the term is a convenient one.

Note carefully, however, that karma is not punishment. If you touch a red hot stove, you will bum your finger. This will hurt you, but it is not punishment, only a benign and reformative consequence, for after one or two such experiences in childhood, you learn to keep your fingers away from hot iron. So it is with all natural retribution—you suffer because you have a lesson to learn.

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Supersoul

To be all that we were meant to be and to do all that we were meant to do, is the only end in life.

~ Spinoza ~

The first Superman movie offered a striking metaphor for the way we learn our purpose on earth. In the film, baby Superman's parents place him in a space capsule and send him off to Earth to escape the destruction of their planet. As the infant is hurtling past the stars, he listens to a series of audio tapes teaching him about himself and his purpose. The tapes, preprogrammed by his parents, remind him of his origin, his strengths, and his mission on Earth. By the time he arrives at his destination, he is clear about his identity, and he goes about the business of being Superman.

Our story is remarkably like that of Superman: We arrived on Earth with great innate wisdom, seeded with the knowledge of our purpose. Before we were born, we consciously chose, in co-creatorship with Spirit, who we would be and what we would accomplish while we are here.

But here our story departs from Superman's in that when we arrived on Earth, we forgot. Quickly we were distracted by the limits that our body imposed on us and the negative messages laid upon us by a world that had forgotten to look within for truth. Before long, we wandered with the masses, puzzling, "How did I get here, and what am I supposed to be doing?"

The moment we ask these questions, we begin our spiritual adventure of returning to the wisdom we forgot. We set out to reclaim true vision, which rewards us infinitely more deeply than seeing through the body's eyes and playing out the world's beliefs. Gradually, the veils of illusion and ignorance are lifted, and we regain the sense of purpose we came to live.

Help me remember my purpose and live the highest life possible.

I honor my purpose of divine expression.
I am here to love, learn, and serve.

July 2

Step by Step

Today, if it should be the anniversary of the passing of someone dear to me or any other observance that rekindles a sense of loss and bittersweet, let me look to my program not to mourn what is gone but to be grateful that I experienced the good in the first place. And let me look to the lessons and examples of who or what I was once blessed enough to have to pay respect to their memories. As a drinking alcoholic, loss was a cornerstone of my existence; today, in recovery, gratitude and honoring the memories of people or things now gone are my hope. AA has given me the tools to come to terms with loss but, more importantly, how to handle the sometimes unkind changes of life without alcohol, self-pity, anger, anguish and a subtle longing for days and times long gone. Today, if the date resurrects the bittersweet, the gift of sobriety can overcome the bitter. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

LET GO AND LET GOD

We can't carry the person, we can only carry the message. The results are in God's hands.

~ Anonymous ~

"Let go, let God" doesn't mean we stop caring: it means we can't do it all for someone else. We in the Program care deeply. We can sometimes pick up another person's pain more quickly than our own. There is a very natural inclination to want to stop the hurting. There are even times we have neglected our own well-being to help another.

We need to remember our own experience. It was not until we did our First Step that we became available for recovery. The First Step was an admission and acceptance of our powerlessness. No one did our First Step for us. This fact is true for others as well. We can't carry anyone through the Steps, and expect them to understand recovery.

If my hand is holding onto someone else's too tightly, that person's hand can't hold onto God's.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

My life is in the hands of any fool who makes me lose my temper.

~ Joseph Hunter ~

Many of us have learned that we can get a real buzz from anger. It seems to give us direct access to our egos, where we feel an inflated sense of power and entitlement. We no longer feel vulnerable; we see things in black and white terms. We believe we are right. But in this primitive state of excitement, we are reacting from the animal level, and our grown-up brain has been bypassed. This kind of habitual reaction can leave a lot of damage in its aftermath. It undermines our dearest relationships and our own self-respect.

We need to examine our patterns with anger. We don’t seek to be rid of it but to manage it as grown men. Do we take responsibility for staying honest in the midst of anger? Can we hold onto our humility while being angry? When we express angry feelings, do we avoid abusive words and intimidating actions? We can feel our anger and express it without reverting to our primitive brain.

Today I will be aware of angry feelings and express them with a clear sense of my grown-up masculinity.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

Too many things in today’s rushed and hurried world seem to require immediate action. I need to differentiate between the things that require immediate action and the things that can wait.

~ Karen Davis ~

Not to get caught up in the mania of activity around us takes monumental effort. It seems that everyone else is on a fast track, and if we abstain from the race, we worry about getting left behind, thus missing an opportunity that may surface only once in our lives.

In spite of our fears, very few circumstances need immediate attention. By taking the time to think through our alternatives and then to ask our Higher Power for guidance, we are assured the right response to every circumstance. With practice we will learn that pausing a moment or two won’t mean missing an opportunity that has our name on it.

Some situations, such as a swerving car or a col-lapsed friend, require a quick response. However, even those circumstances call for reaction that is thoughtful rather than rushed. Every decision we make will be better when we let God give us a hand.

I can slow my pace today. My friends and I will benefit from my thoughtful responses.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I am taking care of my body

Only now can I see how my addiction and emotional illness made it hard to take care of my body. First, I put all my energy into getting street drugs and staying high. Second, I put substances into my body that damaged it.

Free of chemicals, I am coming to care more about my physical body. I eat at regular times and I watch what I eat. I let my dog take me for a walk. When my body gets tired, I give it the extra rest it seems to need in recovery. These lays I am paying attention to my body, and it feels right.

I will incorporate my new habits into my daily recovery plan.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

No man is wise enough by himself.

~ Plautus ~

The people in our fellowship come together with a single purpose: the desire to remain sober. We are of various backgrounds and different races. Some of us are rich, while others have no money at all. We’re all so different, yet we share a common bond: we seek sobriety. Separately, the task is insurmountable, but together we are powerful in our quest. What one of us lacks in hope and strength we find by coming together within this fellowship. Each member offers a link connecting the other. Broken, the chain is useless. Together, the strength and beauty of each link is made even more powerful. We join together in a spiritual bond that transcends our differences.

Before we joined the fellowship and chose a Higher Power, isolation made our task seem overwhelming. Now, as we look around the room at smiling and caring faces, we can thank God that in our pain we have found such strength and the wisdom we need to stay sober one day at a time.

Today let me be humbly grateful for my sobriety.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

A fool sees not the same tree that a wise man sees.

~ William Blake ~

When you were a child and were asked, “How deep is the ocean?” you may have spread your arms as wide as you could to signify the ocean’s massive size. When you were a bit older and asked how big something enormous was, you might have answered, “It’s as big as infinity.” You had learned a word that would signify what your arms had expressed. But when you were using and were asked, “How much did you have to drink?” or “How much money did you take out of the bank to gamble?” you may have answered, “Not much” or “Just a little.” The reality was, you had more than a few drinks. The truth was, you withdrew more money than you wanted to admit.

While lies and an altered vision of your universe may have helped you change your perspective so you could continue to use and abuse, this perspective was foolish and far from reality.

Today you know the value of honesty, and how it enables you to see and speak the truth. As hard as it may be to accept the truth, growth springs from such knowledge. You can become wiser and, in so doing, become more in touch with reality.

I will see the world as it really is, not as I want it to be.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

When we stop looking at whatever troubles us, and turn in faith to God, the source of good, the difficulty disappears and a new condition takes its place.

~ William A. Clough ~

If our garden is choked with weeds, we don't stare at it and think, "My garden is going to have a lousy growing season." We start pulling those weeds to give our plants room to grow and the nutrition they need. Because we believe clearing the weeds will make the garden grow we change a bad condition into a good one.

But what do we do when we see ourselves being choked by debts, bad relationships, or health problems? Do we take action to affect change or do we become paralyzed at our view of an unchangeable situation? We need to learn to take our focus off fears, doubts, worries, and insecurities and place it instead upon faith and a belief that all will work out.

We can begin to replace difficulties with faith. No matter what problems we have, none is too big for faith to change. Our belief that these conditions can change is the first step in letting faith work its own way.

Tonight I can change my outlook by replacing my difficulties with faith.

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Overcoming worry

Worrying only succeeds in ruining our days and driving us nuts. It’s better if we don’t burden ourselves with what we need to do until we need to do it—and then promptly do it. And if worry weakens, action strengthens. If we stay active, we don’t have time to worry.

Our Higher Power knows our needs and will give us the knowledge and power to get them if we wholly trust. Besides, why worry when we can pray?

Do I let God help me with my worries?

Higher Power, help me to stay active and to trust that you’ll take care of me.

I will practice not worrying today by

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

Great events make me quiet and calm; it is only trifles that irritate my nerves.

~ QUEEN VICTORIA ~

Newcomer

A health insurance claim got rejected, and I have to submit it all over again; a plumbing job was left unfinished, and I’m going to have to keep calling my landlord; some equipment needs a minor adjustment, but I’ll have to rebox the whole thing and get it to the repair place. . . . Life seems to be an endless succession of these little nightmares.

Sponsor

Two things seem wonderful to me about the complaints you have about your life today. The first is that you haven’t picked up an addictive substance or behavior. In the old days, what set me off most was the little things. I’ve heard one person in recovery say, "I rarely drank or drugged over real tragedies. I did fine with the big things; it was when I broke a shoelace that I was in danger of losing my balance.” Today, your “broken shoelaces” didn’t send you off the deep end.

The other blessing that strikes me, hearing these problems, is how full of life they are. We have places to live, running water, equipment to care for, and relationships with landlords and plumbers. We’ve been taking care of our health, and we have the ability to face filling out insurance forms. We can laugh more easily at glitches when we realize that they arise out of choices we’ve made to immerse ourselves in reality.

Today, my glass is no longer half empty, but half full.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

We not only are judged by our words and actions, but also we are frequently misjudged by them. If you do or say anything at all, you will be either judged or misjudged and the purity of your motives will not affect the verdict.

Therefore take but little thought of the judgement of men but in all things strive to earn the commendation of that still, small voice within you.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

I've found a Reason

Dear God, as long as my life was preoccupied with my own problems, my own unwillingness and dark moods, I was critical, insensitive, rigid, and defiant. But when I honestly faced my defects and failures and the worst was known and surrendered to You, the whole nature of living changed. I am no longer the emotional center of all things and no longer take everything as personal to myself. I've found a reason for all the suffering through which I have passed. It is to be used in understanding and helping others. Out of darkness comes light.

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

FIND MATURITY

Why do you not remember your previous lives? Consider how prone people are to worry and grieve foolishly over the past events of this one life, and imagine their state if they had the material of many lives to handle in this way.

And so the past is mercifully withheld from us until we reach the stage when we can regard our own histories impersonally and objectively, and when we do reach that stage it is possible to remember our previous lives.

Our birth is but a sleep and a forgetting,
The soul that rises with us, our life's Star,
Hath had elsewhere its setting,
And cometh from afar;
Not in entire forgetfulness,
And not in utter darkness,
But trailing clouds of glory do we come
From God, who is our home.

~ Wordsworth ~

Is it absolutely necessary to come back? The answer is that you need not come back if you will concentrate your whole heart upon God, and seek His Presence until you realize it completely. If you can do this, of all tasks the most difficult, then you will leave this earth planet to enter into full communion with God, and you need never come back. Hardly anyone, however, is able to do this at present, and so we have to go on by stages, learning from experience, study, prayer, and meditation; living life after life until at last we “grow up" spiritually.

. . . I trust in the mercy of the Lord forever and ever (Psalm 52:8).

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

No Psychic Required Here

Call on God, but row away from the rocks.

~ Indian proverb ~

As I was leaving a restaurant with my professional psychic friend, Denise, a fellow approached and asked if I wanted to buy a stereo. Since I was in the market for a car stereo at the time, I told him, "Maybe," and he invited Denise and me to his showroom in the trunk of his car. There he displayed an extensive collection of unusually shoddy stereos at remarkably high prices. When I asked him if he offered any warranty, he told me that his boss did not like people coming to the warehouse (for insurance purposes, you understand). When he asked me if I wanted one of the stereos, Denise leaned over and whispered in my ear, "l don't think you should buy anything from this man.”

I whispered back, "I don't need a psychic to tell me that.” I thanked the fellow, bid him good day, and off we went.

Many on the spiritual path have a difficult time differentiating between judgment and discernment. Some feel that to say no or acknowledge that someone is hurting himself or another would be an act of judgment. While we must not judge, we must discern. Judgment is distinguished by turbulent emotion and fear, while discernment is based on clarity and peace. you serve another if you refuse to participate in an activity that would hurt him or yourself.

It is loving to tell the truth and hurtful to put up with a lie. lf someone is not coming from a place of integrity or is endangered by an addictive behavior, it is your duty to call the situation as you see it. Perhaps God is giving you the insight that this situation needs correction. You don’t need to be a psychic to see the truth, which is always trying to make itself obvious, if you are open to seeing it.

Give me the wisdom and the courage to call the truth as I see it.

My divine mind guides me on my right path.

July 3

Step by Step

"We alcoholics are men and women who have lost the ability to control our drinking. ...All of us felt at times that we were regaining control, but such intervals - usually brief - were inevitably followed by still less control, which led in time to pitiful and incomprehensible demoralization. We are convinced ...that alcoholics of our type are in the grip of a progressive illness. Over any considerable period we get worse, never better." - Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, Ch 3 ("More About Alcoholism"), p 30.

Today, I do not have time to waste mulling the myth that I can become a responsible drinker by "controlling" my intake. My own history is etched in the words of the program and probably with the histories of countless others. I lost control at some point, conned myself into thinking I could regain it only to plunge deeper into "incomprehensible demoralization." Only when I understood and believed that my alcoholism is progressive, that it always gets worse and never better without total abstinence, did I come to take Step One: "Admitted (I am) powerless ..." I am still powerless over alcohol and always will be, but I have power in sobriety and, today, I have a choice: don't drink. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

DEATH

We surrender to win, we die to live, we suffer to get well, we give it away to keep it.

~ Anonymous ~

The Program teaches us not to fear death as we learn not to fear life. Death must happen for life to be born. Our addiction told us to hold on to all sorts of dead or dying realities. Our addiction prevented us from growing up. We tried to hold on to our youth rather than letting it pass away naturally.

When God called a loved one on, we fought and cursed God for not getting our permission first. When a relationship came and went we sometimes spent years mourning the loss. As death became more fearful to us, we closed ourselves off from the new life that was waiting. Our Program teaches us to let go of the dead and dying and embrace the new. We rejoice in the celebration of life.

I have come to a new reality regarding life and death because I have faced the reality of the death of my addiction and the new life of my recovery.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

To err is human; to blame it on the other guy is even more human.

~ Bob Goddard ~

We are on a path that leads us to become better men with greater insight and stronger character. A central theme on this path is learning to take responsibility for ourselves, our mistakes, and our choices as we deal with our situation. We can make progress on this path by noticing our defensive reactions when we make a mistake or when someone criticizes us. Our old ways were aimed at shifting the blame or counterattacking to get someone else off our case. Now we are learning how to take on the blame when it honestly belongs to us.

One of the first things we need to learn in taking responsibility is that there is no shame in making a mistake. Everyone makes mistakes. But some people don’t accept responsibility for them, and others do. We have much greater respect for someone who does. Admitting when we were wrong doesn’t mean speaking in vague generalities, saying that “mistakes were made.” It doesn’t mean saying, “Yes, I did this, but only because you did that.” It means saying what we did or didn’t do and laying the facts out there for us and others to deal with. When we can do that, forgiveness almost always follows shortly.

Today I will hold back my defensiveness and admit the facts as they are.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

In seeking a balanced life, I find so many exciting opportunities to explore and understand that none of them needs to become a compulsion.

~ Michele Fedderly ~

Many of us long to live more balanced lives. We have been “all-or-nothing" women, and living on the edge may have excited us. Overcommitment to causes, people, or a social life kept us from thinking about ourselves. Then we’d crash, only to gather our resources to begin the frantic pace again. Our compulsive activity was countered by total retreat, again and again. The thread that remained the same was our reliance on some chemical to take away the pain.

Are we free of pain now? Not always, but we have more positive ways to handle it. We have friends who will listen. We have sponsors who can suggest new ways to deal with our stumbling blocks. We know women and men who are living more balanced lives, and we can model ourselves after them. Now we have a reason for slowing down. We have come to believe that the present moment is all we really have.

Balancing my activities today will allow me to accomplish more of what really needs to be done.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I am grateful (for what I used to take for granted)

Before I got into recovery I couldn't get what I wanted, and whatever I got wasn't enough. Life seemed a struggle and without happiness. I was caught up in feeding my addiction and avoiding my emotional illness. It felt like I was dying.

Even though I've been abstinent and stable but a few months, already I feel more relaxed, lighter. I breathe easier. I smell the air again, see the colors of the sky, and hear nature all around me. But most of all I can see that my life is more than just illness and pain. I am alive and I am grateful for my life.

I will write down two simple things that I am grateful for today.

*************************************************

~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

Everybody should be free to go very slow.

~ Robert Frost ~

We’ve all been in a class we hated. We probably learned very little, and did the minimum amount of work necessary

The same holds true for forcing our loved ones into recovery. We all learn better when we are ready to be taught and more likely to go the extra mile for sobriety. In order to help a person into recovery, we must detach and leave our friend in God’s hands. We can turn to our Higher Power as we mourn for our friend. Our Higher Power will bring us comfort and help us let go.

Maybe our friend has reached bottom and is ready to surrender and accept help. If so, the future can look brighter almost immediately. But maybe he or she needs more time.

A friend is ready to accept help when he or she surrenders the need to control life. We can only pray and wait patiently, while that person begins his (or her) own recovery.

Today help me to let go and let God.

**************************************************

~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

All work and no play make Jack a dull boy.

~ Proverb ~

While the above proverb is familiar to most through one of the more chilling scenes in The Shining, when the discovery of reams of paper on which the proverb is written repeatedly captures the main character’s descent into insanity, it originated at a time when children were required to work as hard as adults. It served as a warning to parents that working their children too hard would deprive them of other experiences.

Working too hard at anything—even your recovery— may prevent you from experiencing other things in life. The holistic focus of recovery urges a balance in everything in your life, and that includes setting aside time to have fun and play.

Removing your addiction from your life has given you many gifts. One of these gifts is more time. Use the time in which you formerly used to become more adventurous, learn something new, or try out a recreational activity you have always wanted to do. You can even engage in activities that you never got to experience as a child— running through a sprinkler on a hot day or simply lying on your back in a field, looking up at the clouds.

Today I will have fun in my addiction. I will do something for no other purpose than sheer enjoyment.

**************************************************

~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

We can't all be captains, we've got to be crew.

~ Douglas Malloch ~

An old saying tells us, There is no I in team. That means there is no one hero, no one member who carries a team or becomes the personality of the team. The team wins or loses because of all its members, not the actions or omissions of one.

There are many of us who don't like to play on a team. We would prefer individual sports or hobbies. We may like to be in control or seek solitude rather than the company of others. We may even try to assume so many responsibilities that we become the only person who can accomplish a task or job.

Sometimes it's good to be a leader. But leaders also need to know how to be led. To work well with other people, we need to know what it feels like to be a member of a group where we are all equal. A ship comprised of only captains may flounder or be tossed against the shore. A ship with one captain and a crew may sail smoothly and safely by the efforts of all.

Let me become a member of my group, not a leader. Help me extend this affirmation into all areas of my life.

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Sharing our program

Sharing is truly valuable. It doesn’t simply help the other guy; it helps us too. By sharing how our program is working, we get the feedback we need (positive or negative) to see clearly. It helps us to see regularly how we are doing.

We can spare ourselves unnecessary pain if we take our experiences to meetings for feedback. As we develop our lives, it helps to know what others are doing to develop theirs.

Am I sharing my problems and progress with others?

Higher Power, help me truly share my recovery so that I can help myself and others.

Today I will share my program with

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

**************************************************

~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

One cannot collect all the beautiful shells on the beach.

~ ANNE MORROW LINDBERGH ~

Newcomer

I’m having trouble making decisions. There are big ones: Should I go back to school, or should I stay with my present job, where there’s potential for advancement? And there’s smaller stuff: Should I take advantage of special fares and use my vacation time now, or should I stay here and catch up with paperwork so I’ll feel mentally free? I wish I could be two people at once; when I’m confused, all the options sound equal to me.

Sponsor

For some of us, addiction narrowed the options. When we were acting under a compulsion, we couldn’t choose freely, let alone enjoy what we’d chosen. In recovery we may lack experience recognizing our priorities and focusing our attention. Opportunities for making choices, instead of delighting us, may overwhelm us. Abundance may be driving us to distraction.

There is power and vision to be gained by narrowing our options, concentrating our energies. One test that works for me when I have a difficult choice between two alternatives is to ask myself, “If I only had two months to live, which of these things would I want to do?” When I listen closely for inner guidance, my own answers sometimes surprise me.

What if we make a mistake? We remind ourselves that we can do things differently next time. We don’t have to punish ourselves for not knowing everything in advance. Human beings need to have experiences in order to find out what makes our lives better or worse.

Today, I don’t let my decisions overwhelm me. I’m open to what my inner wisdom tells me.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

In our drinking days there was no humor in the world except that doubtful brand we heard around the bars. It is certainly true that we took our insignificant affairs and our ridiculous selves most seriously.

In AA, when we became mentally sober, we not only acquired a sense of humor but we were even able to laugh at ourselves. We can now accept the criticism of others with a greater degree of patient good humor, we have learned that the best way to confound our critic is to laugh off his attack with good-humored tolerance.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

Happy, Joyous, and Free

I am sure You want me to be happy, joyous, and free.
With Your help I will no longer believe that life has no meaning and is filled with sorrow.
You, the Twelve Steps, and our Fellowship have shown me I made my own misery.
You didn't do it.
I pray I will avoid the deliberate manufacture of misery.
But if trouble comes, I will cheerfully make it an opportunity to demonstrate Your wisdom and power.

~ Adapted from material in Alcoholics Anonymous, Fourth Edition, page 133 ~

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

YOUR HEART'S DESIRE

An old adage says: "God has a plan for every man, and He has one for you." Your real problem—the only problem you have—is to find your true calling in life. Everything else will fall into place. You will be happy; and upon happiness, health will follow. You will have all the supply that you require to meet your needs, and this means that you will have perfect freedom; for poverty and freedom cannot go together.

God has not made you without a definite purpose in view. The Universe is a universe; that is, it is a unified harmony, a divine scheme. It could not happen, therefore, that God could create a spiritual entity such as you are, without having a special purpose in view, a special place for you. Whatever the place may be, there can be only one person who can fill it perfectly.

But how is one to find his true place in life? Is there any means whereby you may discover what it really is that God wishes you to do? The answer is divinely simple—already from time to time, God Himself has whispered into your heart just that very wonderful thing, nothing less than what is called your heart's desire. The most secret wish that lies at the bottom of your heart, that is just the very thing that God is wishing you to do or to be for Him. And the birth of that wish in your soul was the voice of God Himself telling you to arise and come up higher because He had need of you.

Delight thyself also in the Lord, and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart. (Psalm37:4).

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Heaven and Hell

Heaven is the decision I must make.

~ A Course in Miracles ~

A samurai warrior came to a Zen master and commanded him, "Teach me about heaven and hell."

The master looked at the warrior and laughed, ridiculing him, "Why would you think I would waste my time teaching an ignoramus like you? You are an uneducated buffoon!"

The samurai, severely insulted, began to breathe heavily and grew red in the face. Furious, he drew his sword and lifted it to chop off the master's head.

"That, sir," the master interrupted, "is hell."

Immediately, the warrior was overcome with humility. In deference to the profundity of this lesson, he fell at the master's feet and began to thank him profusely.

“And that, sir," continued the master, "is heaven."

Heaven and hell are not eternal dispensations that await us after we die; they are states of mind we experience even while on earth. Whether we live in ecstasy or torture depends not on an outside agent, but on the thoughts we think and the attitudes we hold. Love is the door to heaven, and fear is the path to hell. At any given moment, we hold the key that will unlock either door; the choice is ours.

I want to experience heaven even as I walk the earth. Assist me to love so deeply that I live in paradise continually.

I open the door to heaven with the key of appreciation.

July 4

Step by Step

" ...(T)here is a substitute ...It is a fellowship in Alcoholics Anonymous. There you will find release from care, boredom and worry. Your imagination will be fired. Life will mean something at last. The most satisfactory years of your existence lie ahead." - Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, Ch 11 ("A Vision for You"), p 152.

Today, if I have not already, let me take the first step toward a life that finally means something other than how bad the next hangover will be or how severe the consequences of my misconduct and, as promised by the program, a belief and faith that the "most satisfactory years of (my) existence" do, indeed, lay ahead. And if I have taken the first step toward the promise of the program, let me not squander it on some folly like self-pity or a thought that "just one, this one time" won't hurt. Whether I have or have not already embarked on my journey of recovery, let me believe that sobriety and recovery can provide a life that is better, one that is more satisfactory than the one I have in drinking. Today, let me believe that I am worthy to work toward something better. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

EASY DOES IT

The great mind knows the power of gentleness.

~ Robert Browning ~

We have learned to become gentle with ourselves and other people. The slogan "Easy Does It" works in all situations. We created confusion in our lives when we lost our light touch and our softspoken word. We were like a tornado, upsetting everything in our path. Nothing was ever changed by our power-driven tantrums.

When we are stopped dead on the freeway, will shaking our fist at every passing car get us where we're going any faster? Easy Does It is our way of reminding our-selves to go slow, let God work His will, everything is O.K. We have learned to walk more softly and with more consideration.

I am not lazy when I slow down and take life on life's terms. I am simply tuned into the secret of how life actually works.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

Some people are so afraid to die that they never begin to live.

~ Henry Van Dyke ~

Fear is a dirty word for most guys. We find it hard to admit the truth. But the truth is, in our denial of fear we have often been ruled by it. We certainly know the fear of going without the comfort we had in our addictive and codependent ways. Our anxiety was hidden under our controlling behaviors when we said, “I’m only doing it because I love you,” or “I’m only going to take a little hit.” Many of us have felt so alone and grew up in such a stressful world that we learned to be constantly on guard against danger, even as we denied our fears.

Life inherently involves risk. There is such a thing as too much control. In its ultimate form, control is static and dead. That is why spiritual awakening is so central to our healing and recovery. We can stay spiritually alive, aware of life’s risks but remaining calm. When we fear what this day will bring, or what the future holds, we place our fears in the hands of God as we understand God. What happens next is beyond rational explanation, but it lets us go forward without grasping for our old self-destructive comforts.

Today I will admit that I feel fear as any man does, and I stay calm in the care of God.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

My name is Elizabeth. I have a gift. It is called alcoholism.

~ Elizabeth Farrell ~

Many of us didn’t feel alcoholism or other drug addiction was a gift when we first got into recovery. We felt shame or perhaps anger that we couldn’t drink or use like other women. Alcohol or other drugs made us feel less self-conscious and more courageous. Accepting that we couldn’t handle chemicals meant feeling the fear of many situations, perhaps for the first time.

But most of us have come to appreciate the rewards of sobriety. When we were using, our lack of consistent values caused us to stumble many limes. Now we have the Steps as guiding principles for every action we take.

We also have warm friendships that are healing our loneliness. We no longer harbor anger and self- pity. We are more peaceful and secure. Having a Higher Power we can trust makes any new experience tolerable. Addiction and sobriety are gifts we have been graced with, and we are coming to appreciate this more each day.

I will show God my appreciation for the gift of addiction and sobriety by carrying the message through my behavior today.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I now have choices

Before I got into recovery I didn't really know what my problem was. I just knew I was anxious and fearful. I didn't know I had a dual disorder and that each disorder can affect the other. I only knew that with my moods, I kept thinking about suicide and felt I had to keep using.

Looking back I see how stuck I was. But I am no longer caught in that cycle of symptoms and intoxication. I'm psychiatrically stable and I no longer need street drugs to cope with my symptoms. I am learning about my problems and learning to work on solutions. I feel new freedom and strength.

I will take ten minutes today to think about my freedom and how I can use it in my life .

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

i thank You God... for everything which is natural which is infinite which is yes.

~ e. e. cummings ~

Within any twenty-four hours free from active dependency, our answer to small and major decisions is “yes.” We are experiencing life fully and courageously, regardless of outcomes. Our feelings surface and subside like light on water. The words we share loudly or in whispers are as vivid and colorful as the world surrounding us. Our new reality is a natural gift on our spiritual journey back to friendship and health. And as our active recovery fills each day with choices, duties, events, work, and play, we are often surprised by how swiftly time passes. Each minute in recovery, as long as we work our program, we are growing. Even the hard days, when we feel the old doubts and fear and pain, are days of healing. Our Higher Power has given us a new life, a new chance to say “yes” to the best in ourselves and the world.

Today let me gratefully accept what is offered to me.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

Memory itself is an internal rumour.

~ George Santayana ~

There is a difference between minor forgetfulness— walking into a room and forgetting why you went there or not being able to recall the name of someone you just met—and the more significant memory loss that results from an addiction. Alcohol abuse can often result in fragmentary memory loss. You may not remember something that happened while you were drunk until prompting provides you with clues. Or you may experience blackouts, when you are incapable of remembering what happened during a previous binge no matter how much you are prompted.

Prolonged alcohol abuse can lead to the development of alcohol dementia. Poor nutrition during the time when you were actively using can lead to memory loss as well as decrease your ability to learn new information or solve problems. In recovery, it is essential that you exercise regularly, improve your nutrition, and take vitamin supplements to develop a healthy body and improve your memory. Engage in memory-building activities and learn something new each day so that your brain gets healthy exercise as well.

Taking control now of any memory issues brought on by your addiction will strengthen your mind for the future.

Today I will exercise my brain by using memory-enhancing techniques.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

Patience is a virtue that carries a lot of WAIT!

~ Our Daily Bread ~

Before we came into the program, we may have had little patience. We may have been tired of waiting for our parents to sober up and live up to their promises. We may have impatiently crossed off the days until we were legally free to leave home.

When we entered the program, we again found we had to wait for so many things. We learned the Twelve Steps couldn't be done in twelve days. We listened to people talk about the years of recovery they had. We may have privately thought it wouldn't take us that long. We were going to be in and out of the program in a matter of weeks—and we would be cured!

Good things come to those who wait could be another program slogan because it is so true. To truly master any skill requires long hours of study and continual practice. Like playing the piano, we start out with short, easy chords that build to full-length concertos. Our goal in the program is to play concertos for the rest of our lives. That will not happen today, nor tomorrow but will come in time.

I can use what I've learned in the program to begin my lifelong study. Higher Power, help me have patience.

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Praying

Our prayers are always answered, but some-times the answer is no and sometimes the answer is one we cannot understand. (How can we understand the plans of our Higher Power? If we trust our Higher Power to keep us clean and sober, perhaps our faith can extend to other areas of our lives.

There is a saying in the program about prayer that makes a lot of sense: We should work every day as if everything depended on us and pray every day as if everything depended on God.

Am I praying with faith?

Higher Power, help me ask for what I need and to trust what I get.

Today I will pray for

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

If you're going to be able to look back on something and laugh about it, you might as well laugh about it now.

~ MARIE OSMOND ~

Newcomer

I spoke to someone I work with about how I’ve been perceiving a particular situation between us, and disaster resulted. I tried hard to speak respectfully, to take responsibility for my own part and not blame the other person, but I wasn’t heard at all. He attacked me and put me down; he really crossed the line. I was speechless at first, and then I yelled back; I had to defend myself. How do you fight fair when someone else is fighting dirty? The situation feels hopeless.

Sponsor

Perhaps you unwittingly touched a nerve, if the other person responded so explosively. His anger may have been waiting to erupt even before you spoke. He doesn’t have the skill you’ve been trying to develop, of owning our own feelings without attacking. Perhaps attack is all he knows right now.

We don’t have to assume that one unfortunate encounter is the end of a relationship. In a situation like the one you’ve described, we can remind ourselves that we’re adults, dealing with someone who’s behaving like a hurt or cornered child. We can be generous and compassionate to ourselves and the other person by detaching from the need to agree. Instead of trying to convince him or her to see things our way, we let go for now.

When we’re ready, we may say something simple: “Sorry things got out of hand between us. Your opinion does matter to me.” We can allow ourselves the freedom not to participate in arguments. Arguments require two participants.

Today, I step back from argument, with myself and with others.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

It is not possible to help a man as long as he stands in his own way, nor can anyone or anything else.

A vast host of drinkers could quit if they could get a job, but they can’t get a job because they are drinking.

They could quit if they could get their families back but they can’t get their families back because they persist in drinking.

We are all too prone to get a new man “fixed up” so he can stop drinking instead of making him realize that he must stop drinking so he can “fix himself up.” He must get out of his own way first.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

Life Is a Gift

Thank you, God. May I remember during periods of depression,
The many times in my life when things do seem right, when I have those moments of clarity,
When I feel there is hope, when the sun shines down on me and warms my face, when Your love warms my heart.
I am reminded that life is a gift . . . this I pray.

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

YOUR OWN PLACE

If you say that you are unhappy, dissatisfied, perhaps ill or impoverished, a failure, this is simply another way of putting the fact that you are not allowing the will of God to have free play in your life—you are not doing the thing that He meant you to do.

Discontent is not necessarily a bad thing. It is your duty to be discontented with anything less than complete harmony and happiness. A wholesome discontent with dullness, failure, and frustration is your incentive for overcoming such things. Whoever you are, your true place is calling, and, because you really are a spark of the Divine, you will never be content until you answer.

Remember that this call is the call of God, and when God calls you to His Service, He pays all the expenses. Whatever you may require to answer that call—all will He furnish, if you be about His business and not your own.

Ye have not chosen me, but I have chosen you, and ordained you, that ye should go and bring forth fruit , and that your fruit should remain (John 15:16).

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Declaration of Inner Independence

If I have freedom in my love,
and in my soul I am free,
Angels alone that soar above,
enjoy such liberty.

~ Richard Lovelace ~

Today we celebrate the birth of our free nation. Yet even more important than national freedom is internal freedom. We may live in a democratic society, but unless we are free of the inner bondage of fear and separation, we are not truly free.

Today, break free of the power you have given others to make or break your life. While others may invite, suggest, guide, or influence you, ultimately you alone must live with the choices you make, and so you must choose in accordance with your heart's guidance. lf you have given any person power over your life, take back your power now. No one can hurt you, and no one can save you unless you ordain it.

Today, declare a revolution of consciousness. Oust the old dictators of self-doubt, attack thoughts, jealousy, and the replaying of old negative patterns of thought and feeling, and replace them with a belief in yourself, trust in the wisdom of life, positive visualization and speech, and the willingness to be grand.

Today, move beyond human politics, and find unity at the core of your being. At the center of yourself, all states of consciousness within you merge into wholeness. Your economy is based on love: the more love you give, the more you have.

Today, let the world know that you are a sovereign and powerful nation, comprised of all the experiences and wisdom you have gleaned over a lifetime. Raise the lamp of liberty high, that all may know that you stand for truth.

I pray to walk in peace and freedom, shining as a model of integrity to all.

I am free, and I give freedom.

July 5

Step by Step

"It helped me a great deal to become convinced that alcoholism was a disease, not a moral issue; that I had been drinking as a result of a compulsion, even though I had not been aware of the compulsion at the time; and that sobriety was not a matter of willpower. The people of AA had something that looked much better than what I had, but I was afraid to let go of what I had in order to try something new; there was a certain sense of security in the familiar." - Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, Ch 17 ("Doctor, Alcoholic, Addict"), p 448.

Today, wisdom to understand that the "security" I thought I had in alcohol was actually the predictability of its outcome. I need look no further than yesterday to know that my drinking progressed and never regressed, that its consequences became gradually harsher and that the court's sentence was pretty much what it was with all the other DUI's before. Today, I give up that false sense of security that is really nothing more than predictability and take a chance on what is not familiar - sobriety. At least with sobriety, I don't have the boredom of knowing the outcome because the outcome of my drinking was always the same. Maybe the unpredictability of the benefits of sobriety is worth the effort. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

HUMOR

Pain is deeper than all thought; laughter is higher than all pain.

~ Elbert Hubbard ~

The world of recovery has given us back a sense of humor. We have learned to laugh at ourselves and laugh hard. The gloomy seriousness that hung over us like a dark cloud is removed and replaced. We begin to see our past history that caused us such misery in a different light. We come to appreciate the humor in our game-playing, our inflated egos, our power-driven ambitions, our grandiose plans, our perfectionism, and our silly poutings.

We've discovered laughter and humor as a medicine to heal wounds. We laugh uproariously at the stories of others as they remember their past. We don't laugh to belittle our friends, but to share in the release of our pain and the fact that times are oh, so different now.

I have gotten off my pedestal and off my pity pot and have joined the human race as just a fellow traveler. Life looks a lot funnier when both my feet are on the ground.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

A community is like a ship, everyone ought to be prepared to take the helm.

~ Henrik Ibsen ~

A good life is blessed with many communities. There are neighborhoods, schools, synagogues, churches, mosques, groups of friends, workplaces, and Twelve Step recovery groups. We became alienated from our communities when we were attached to our addictions and codependency. The all-consuming demands of our misguided lives left little room for genuine participation in the human network.

On our path, we now treasure these connections. We are participants in the bonds of warmth and the many good relationships that surround us. We don’t have to be the center of attention or the main focus in order to feel included. We contribute to the networks that we are part of by simply being good men, and by taking our share of the duties that make a better community for us all.

Today I will seek to make a positive contribution to the communities in my life.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

Putting your emotional well-being in the hands of someone else is like riding a roller coaster into infinity.

~ Anonymous ~

Giving someone else the power to make us sad or happy, angry or hopeful, confident or insecure, is never beneficial. Taking charge of how we feel guarantees us as much happiness as we desire. This surprises many of us. Why didn’t we know it before?

Codependency is common among women, particularly those of us who are dependent on mood- altering chemicals. Our search for security has endangered us more than once. We have followed others down dangerous paths when we thought love was the reward. We have denied our common sense when seeking the approval of others. We have put our values aside for a moment of acceptance. However, each moment is a chance for a new decision about who is in charge of how we feel. We can begin now to make a difference in our lives.

I may not be happy today, but no one else has the power to decide that for me unless I give someone that power.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

My meeting keeps me out of my shell

When I feel psychologically weak or sick and upset with myself, I don't want to see anyone and I don't want anyone to see me. I prefer to stay home and stay angry and ashamed.

I am learning, however, that it is not safe to go into this shell. If I retreat, if I stay stuck in my shame, I risk relapse. In the long run I feel better when I go to a meeting. There I feel safer with my emotions and experiences. I accept myself more when I come together with people who accept, understand, and care about me.

I will attend two meetings a week to stay out of my shell and remain stable.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear.

~ John 4:18 ~

Fear of people is usually a fear of rejection or disapproval, often brought about by our own sense of unworthiness. Feeling we are without value, we may settle for less than we are entitled to or less than we could have. It is difficult to strive for closeness with others, or to better ourselves, when we believe the answer will be “no.”

But as we learn to love ourselves better, we no longer fear rejection. We know that we are valuable and unique, with or without the validation of other people. We can risk being ourselves. Coming to accept the love of our Higher Power grants us a new, confident serenity that helps us overcome fear. As our spirituality grows, we feel more confident and worthy of love. We are able to face our fears with a serenity that increases every new day.

Today I pray I may always walk with full awareness of God’s presence and perfect love.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

Nature never said to me: Do not be poor; still less did she say: Be rich; her cry to me was always: Be independent.

~ Sebastien-Roch Nicolas de Chamfort ~

You may think that recovery has taken away your freedom because you can no longer do the thing you most want to do—engage in your habit. Because you are in recovery, you may feel that you have simply gone from wearing one set of shackles to donning another.

But you awaken each day in recovery with a choice that is yours to make: to use or not to use. What you choose is up to you, and so this reflects that you do, indeed, still have your freedom. All of the actions you take today will be based on this choice. All of your choices will not only guide your life in the direction you have chosen to travel, but also symbolize your independence from dependence.

Today you have immense freedom. You can choose to be clean and sober. You can choose which tools of the program you will use. You can choose which meetings to attend. You can choose a sponsor. You can choose to share your story with others. You can choose to reach out to a Higher Power. And you can choose the changes you would like to make.

I will celebrate the independence recovery gives me.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

Silence propagates itself, and the longer talk has been suspended, the more difficult it is to find anything to say.

~ Samuel Johnson ~

Remember growing up with a parent or other family member who showed anger by "the silent treatment”? How infuriating it was to experience this. One person would be attempting to make things right or provoke a response while the other would maintain a "lips sealed" policy.

Forced silence can be as devastating as the most angry most vicious comment. Forced silence is a wall erected in front of the vocal chords so human communication cannot scale it.

The silent treatment, like inappropriate anger, is not the way to patch rips in the fabric of our human support system. Unless we break the soundless barrier, the wall will become nearly impossible to tear down. Tonight we can look back to any relationship that's in jeopardy and seek to mend it by human communication.

Is there someone in my life with whom I haven't communicated for a while? It's up to me to scale the wall of silence before I lose that person forever.

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Staying clean and sober through the holidays

Holidays have been the time when getting high was easiest to justify. Either we joined in the festivities, or we used our sadness, anxiety, or anger as an excuse. Now that we are clean and sober, we realize that on holidays we don’t have to escape anymore. We have a choice.

We wake up in the morning, appreciate being clean and sober, and just live the day to the best of our abilities. No longer do we fear the festivities, the free time or pressures; no longer do we fear our sadness, anxiety, or anger.

Am I overcoming the need to escape?

Thank you, Higher Power, for this day (as well as all others); may I make the most of it.

I will make the most of today’s holiday by

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

Whatever you can do or dream you can do, begin it.

~ JOHANN WOLFGANG VON GOETHE ~

Newcomer

I signed up to take a course in something I’m kind of interested in. I’m pretty anxious about it. I don’t have the skills and experience that the other students have. I don’t know if I can keep up with the work and still go to enough meetings. And even if I get through it, I doubt that I can afford to go further.

Sponsor

First, let me congratulate you for the courage and self-esteem it took for you to begin something new in recovery. Recovery is not an end in itself; as we frequently hear in meetings, it’s a bridge back to life. Education is a path that beckons many recovering people. Taking just one step, like signing up for a course, furthers you on your journey.

At the same time, you’ll want to take care to protect your recovery as you engage in new pursuits. Staying close to the program by going to regular and frequent meetings is still the top priority for anyone who doesn’t want to relapse. The work we do to maintain our recovery is what makes everything else possible.

As for your doubts and fears, it’s natural for them to come up. Instead of giving them too much attention, you can use this opportunity to calm and center yourself with meditation and to ask in prayer for help and courage in carrying out your Higher Power’s will for you.

Today, I take a small step forward on my journey, without judging myself or my rate of progress.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

It is often the case that great scholars make the acquiring of knowledge a goal instead of a means to a goal.

If you thoroughly learned all the lessons in AA by heart and made no use of it you would find it but a waste of time and effort.

You must put your new-found knowledge to work, you must pass it on or it will be not only valueless to humanity but, in all probability, of no material help to you.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

Thanksgiving Prayer—Native American

Great and Eternal Mystery of Life,
Creator of All Things, I give thanks for
the beauty You put in every single one of
Your creations.

I am grateful that You did not fail in
making every stone, plant, creature, and
human being a perfect and whole part of
the Sacred Hoop.

I am grateful that You have allowed me
to see the strength and beauty of
All My Relations.

My humble request is that all of the
children of Earth will learn to see the
same perfection themselves.

May none of Your human children doubt
or question Your wisdom, grace, and
sense of wholeness in giving all of
Creation a right to be living extensions
of Your perfect love.

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

AN INEXHAUSTIBLE SUPPLY

As far as God is concerned, there is no check of any kind upon the amount of divine energy that we can appropriate, or, therefore, upon the things that we can do or be. Yet, for practical purposes, you can draw from the inexhaustible Source only in accordance with the measure of your understanding, just as you can draw water from the Atlantic only in accordance with the size of the vessel that you use. Almost everyone is foolishly content to fill his pitcher. small as it may be, to somewhere very short of the top.

The true manner of God's working is illustrated by a simple anecdote. A certain man was working in his garden, assisted by his little girl who had undertaken the task of watering the lawn by means of the usual rubber hose. Suddenly she cried out: "Daddy, the water has stopped." The father looked over, and, taking in the situation quietly, said, "'Well, take your foot off the hose."

The ultimate cause of all our troubles is just this. Behind all secondary and proximate causes lies the same primary mistake. We have been pressing our feet and the whole weight of our mentality upon the pipe line of life, and then complaining because the water does not flow.

And the Lord shall guide thee continually, and satisfy thy soul in drought . . . and thou shalt be like a watered garden, and like a spring of water, whose waters fail not (Isaiah 58: 11).

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Whose Dream?

To thine own self be true.

~ William Shakespeare ~

In the motion picture out of Africa, Karen Blixen uttered a haunting I confession: “My biggest fear was that I would come to the end of my life and discover that I lived someone else's dream."

Many people live, grow old, and die without recognizing the power to manifest their personal destiny. others seize every opportunity to celebrate their gifts and potential.

What is your dream? lf you had unlimited time, money, and support, what would you love to be doing? Take a moment to explore your soul, and unearth your secret fantasy. Would you write a book? Travel to exotic places? Have a family? Learn photography? Open up a specialty restaurant? Establish a healing center? Your dream may be more available than you realize. Perhaps even now you could take a step in the direction of your vision. You could send away for a brochure, talk to an expert, take a class, or make a "treasure map"-a collage of magazine photos and words clustering around your goal.

Live as if your life depends on it.

I am here for a purpose. Show me what I am to do in the name of joy.

Confident and whole, I step forward to claim my destiny.

July 6

Step by Step

Today, simplify and "de-mystify" recovery with three basic but essential concepts: choice, consequences, and personal responsibility. Discarding all the reasons I can produce to "justify" my drinking - I have a compulsion that compels me to feed it with anger, fear, resentment, loneliness, grief. In the end, drinking comes down to an essential truth: it is my choice and mine alone. And my choice to drink, as with all other choices I make, brings consequences, and with those consequences comes responsibility to the consequences. I thus have a simple choice, namely if I want to be responsible to the consequences of my choice to drink. For me, the past consequences of drinking grew progressively harsher, costlier and never less. And because now I do not want to face the consequences, I will not be responsible to them by making a simple but obvious choice: don't drink. Today, I have the choice to drink or not. I pick the latter because the first bears consequences that are too heavy for me. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

EMPLOYMENT

A man's work is rather the needful supplement to himself than the outcome of it.

~ Max Beerbohm ~

Our time in recovery allows us to redefine our vocation. We no longer seek the "right job" to fulfill our lives. We realize the right job will not make us whole people. We are already complete and need only maintain a conscious contact with our Higher Power to remain so. We need to work and earn money so we can feed, clothe, and shelter ourselves and our loved ones, but to demand from our job any greater significance will tempt us to create a Higher Power out of our work. We know the resentment and anxiety we cause ourselves whenever we do this.

Many times in recovery we may find ourselves in positions and jobs that seem strange to us. Not to worry; God has a plan for us that we sometimes cannot understand. We remember to increase our Program service work when we get too upset about our employment concerns.

The life of recovery is avocation in itself. I will remember a job is a job. Recovery is a way of life.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

You’re never too old to grow up.

~ Shirley Conran ~

A child’s view of adults is that they have arrived at some fixed point where they are emancipated and have all the tools necessary for life. An adult knows that we never stop growing. Many of us have been stuck in an immature level of development. Our life stresses and our addictions took us off the track of emotional growth. We found substitutes and evasions for truly dealing with the normal life problems. Now we are back on the much more rewarding path of truly living and growing.

We accept the adult wisdom that we all need help and we all continue to learn and grow throughout our life span. We finally feel like adults because we take responsibility for our actions. We don’t blame others for our problems, and when our days feel challenging, we can ask for help. Back on our path, we are never alone.

Today I am grateful to be on the path of dealing with my life and continuing to grow truly stronger.

**************************************************

~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

I always thought some people were just bom with self-esteem and others not. The fact is, the people with self-esteem may have learned to develop it sooner than others, and now it’s my turn

~ Laurel Lewis ~

One element of our growth is making new choices for ourselves. One of our choices is to have the self-esteem that is our right as a human being.

Some women may have never struggled with low self-esteem. Certainly, many women were born into families where unconditional love helped to develop the kind of self-esteem we crave. Yet with the help of this program and our Higher Power, we too will begin to feel a full measure of self-esteem.

Having self-esteem is really nothing more than beginning to understand and then accepting our worthiness in this vast panorama called life. We have always mattered to God and our fellow travelers, or we wouldn’t be here. It’s our beliefs that need to change—nothing more. We are worthy and loved children of God.

Self-esteem does not have to elude me today. My worth is guaranteed. God doesn’t make junk!

**************************************************

~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I am having a spiritual awakening

When I first got into the program, I felt a serious burden. It was all I could do to cope with my addiction and psychiatric illness. For a while, working even Step One seemed too difficult.

It's hard to describe, but these days I feel lighter. I've been working the Steps as best I can and my effort is paying off. I still have some problems to deal with, but they no longer seem overwhelming. Nor do I feel badly about having them; they're simply part of the process I am working on. They may still hurt, but the pain is bearable because I understand and accept this process. I have faith that they will be resolved.

I will use Step Twelve to quietly pass along my experience, strength, and hope.

*************************************************

~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

Prayer does not change God but changes him who prays.

~ Soren Kierkegaard ~

How often we pray for our will to be done. We pray for riches, prestige, a certain outcome in uncertain times. We pray with the idea that if we pray hard enough, and in the right way, God will hear our pleas and grant our special wishes.

But are these prayers any more than those of a small child who wants his or her own way, a list of requests and demands?

As we pray, we need to confide in our Higher Power, to share our concerns, worries, and joys. As we share these concerns with God, we hear ourselves with new insight. We come to realize that God has already given us all we need to be happy. We come to accept that we can let go of demands, and ask instead for courage and strength.

As we spend time listening, our prayers gradually change as we change. In time, we learn, not my will, but Thy will, be done. God does not change — we change.

Today I thank You for changing me through prayer. Help me to continue to pray for knowledge of Your will.

**************************************************

~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

In stillness the world is restored.

~ Lao Tzu ~

To be able to sit and let your mind wander is a form of meditation. You can close your eyes and simply focus on your breathing. Pay attention to what it feels like to take in a deep, cleansing breath of air and then slowly release it along with the toxins from your body.

When you combine focused breathing with imagery— creating a picture in your mind that replicates the gentle action of taking in the good and releasing the bad—you make your meditation more powerful. Imagine ocean waves coming to shore and then slowly receding. Or think of a morning glory slowly opening up to sunshine, and then gently closing as daylight dims.

While meditating, you can also release tension from your body. Begin with your hands. As you expand your lungs, slowly squeeze your hands into fists. Then, as you exhale, open your fists and relax your hands. Do this with each muscle group in your body, and you will feel a wonderful relaxation spread throughout your entire body. You may also enjoy greater focus and concentration, a more positive outlook, and renewed energy.

I begin my day with a meditation consisting of focused breathing, imagery, and muscle relaxation. I will use this same meditation at night to help me unwind from the day’s activities.

**************************************************

~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

Panics, in some cases, have their uses. Their duration is always short; the mind soon grows through them and acquires a firmer habit than before.

~ Thomas Paine ~

Any anxious feeling is a signal that needs attention. It means there's something going on, and it's a way our bodies communicate that they are being overwhelmed. If we ask ourselves what’s going on, we might hear answers of frustration, shame, guilt, or fear over things that are over and done with or things that have yet to occur.

One of the ways to get through an attack is to center ourselves in the present. We can do this by remembering the date, time, and temperature. Then we can identify objects around us, including what we're wearing. This exercise will bring us back into the present where we won't have the feelings that contributed to our attacks. When our minds are clear, we can learn from anxiety and grow through it.

Tonight I can keep myself in the present by identifying the things and people around me that exist for this moment.

**************************************************

~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

First things first

There is no substitute for the Twelve Step program, but that doesn’t exclude other forms of mutual or professional help. Some of us may need a firm foundation in the program, however, before other activities and therapies can be added without causing confusion.

If we are chemically dependent, we need to work with others who are chemically dependent in order to recover. If we combine other kinds of help to meet our needs, we neglect our Twelve Step work at the risk of relapse. Am I putting first things first?

Higher Power, help me realize what my program does for me and to keep it strong.

I will make a commitment to my program today by

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

**************************************************

~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

I could get through anything, if only I didn’t have to have my feelings!

~ WOMAN IN RECOVERY ~

Newcomer

Someone I counted as a friend has rejected me. I’m trying to be brave about it, but I’ve been on the verge of tears all day today. I’m embarrassed to be so needy.

Sponsor

“Trying to be brave” about a hurt sounds admirable, but is it really bravery?

Acknowledging and accepting our feelings is not a sign of weakness, but the opposite. True bravery in my opinion, is not picking up a drink, a drug, a compulsive behavior. That takes courage, especially for someone who’s been using addiction as a tool for survival.

I’m sorry that you’ve experienced a rejection, and I want you to know that your feelings about it don’t lower my opinion of you. On the contrary, I admire your honesty and openness in speaking about what’s happening. Your vulnerability is human and real. When you don’t deny your feelings or dismiss yourself for having them, in time they will pass through you, and there will be room for new ones.

Today, I extend compassion to myself. My dedication to recovery reminds me that I have real courage.

**************************************************

~ THE EYE OPENER ~

Youth might be termed a zest for living. As long as we have enthusiasm for living we are young, regardless of years. Too often the alcoholic has taken so many hard knocks from life that life has lost its attraction, We have seen so many hopes and ambitions fade that life appears to us a total loss.

AA brings into our lives a new purpose in living; it restores our faith and hope, and thereby rejuvenates our minds to the point of a new zest for living.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

Where There Is Charity and Wisdom

Where there is charity and wisdom, there is neither fear nor ignorance.
Where there is patience and humility, there is neither anger nor annoyance.
Where there is love and joy, there is neither greed nor selfishness.
Where there is peace and meditation, there is neither anxiety nor doubt.

~ by St. Francis of Assisi ~

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

SELF ANALYSIS

Jesus told us that we always demonstrate our consciousness. We always demonstrate what we habitually have in our mind. What sort of mind have you! Do not let anyone else tell you, because they do not know. People who like you will think your mentality is better than it is; those who do not like you will think it is worse. Just examine your conditions and see what you are demonstrating. This method is scientific and infallible.

If an automobile engineer is working out a new design for an engine, for instance, he doesn't say: "l wonder what Smith thinks about this. I like Smith. If Smith is against this I won't try it." Nor does he say, "l won't try this idea because it comes from France." He is impersonal and unemotional about it. He says, "l will test it out, and decide by the results I obtain." All that anyone can do for you is to help you change your thought. You yourself must keep it changed. No one else can think for you. "No man can save his brother's soul or pay his brother's debt."

. . . and I will put o new spirit within you . . . (Ezekiel 11:19).

**************************************************

~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Do You Agree?

Where two or more are gathered in my name, there am I.

~ Jesus Christ ~

“You need to replace a small metal roller about the size of a pencil," my laser printer technician told me. "Although it's a little part, you have to buy the cartridge to which it is attached, which costs about $700, plus a hundred dollars labor."

I could not believe that I needed to pay $800 for a roller the size of a pencil. I turned to my assistant Noel and asked her, "Do you agree that I can get this job done for less money?" Noel agreed enthusiastically.

I called another technician who offered to sell me the cartridge at wholesale cost which, with labor, would total $550. The estimate still sounded too outrageous to be true. Again, I turned to Noel and asked her, "Do you agree that I can get this machine fixed for a fraction of the original estimate?"

"l know you can!" she answered.

I made a few more calls and found a technician who told me, "Sure, I can replace the roller." The next day he showed up at my office, sat down, took out a screwdriver, disassembled the machine, replaced the roller—without a new cartridge—and put the machine back together, all in about half an hour. As he walked out, he presented me with a bill for $88—one-tenth of the original estimate.

We create our reality by agreement. When two or more agree that something is so, we attract results consonant with our belief. We can agree that we are small and powerless, or we can agree that we are co-creators with God. Never agree to your limits, but always agree to your infinite power. The universe will grow whatever you plant with your intentions.

I pray that my thoughts and beliefs deliver me to an ever more loving and expansive universe.

I agree with my good and reject all else.

July 7

Step by Step

"I couldn't stomach religion, and I didn't like the mention of God or any of the other capital letters. If that was the way out, it wasn't for me.
" ...(B)ut I ran into a personal crisis which filled me with a raging and righteous anger. And as I fumed helplessly and planned to get good and drunk and show them, my eye caught a sentence in the book lying open on my bed: 'We cannot live with anger.' The walls crumbled - and the light streamed in. ...I was free ...This wasn't 'religion' - this was freedom!" - Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, Ch 4 ("Women Suffer Too"), pp 227-8.

Today, if I continue to reject terms like Higher Power or God, let the force stronger than myself be given another name - freedom! Freedom to take back control and refuse bondage to alcohol, guilt, resentment, anger, fear, loneliness and self-pity, to emerge from my self-imposed isolation. Freedom to begin again, this time with the determination for a life that is better, minus all that physical, emotional and spiritual damage stemming from compulsive and addictive drinking. And chances are that the stronger force I call freedom will someday become my Higher Power. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

KNOWLEDGE

When you know a thing, to hold that you know it, and when you do not know a thing, to allow that you do not know it: this is knowledge.

~ Confucius ~

How is it we can hear so much better after we have worked our Steps? Does someone clean the wax out of our ears at night? We find ourselves able to listen to what people are actually saying, not just what we think they are saying. Our Program teaches us not to judge words before or after they are spoken. We leave judging to God. We try to learn from everybody, for each person we meet has knowledge.

Knowledge has become available to us as never before. We no longer fear new ideas and opinions which are not our own. Our recovery becomes deeper each moment we open our minds to new ideas.

Knowledge is freely offered. In turn, I keep myself growing and accepting the knowledge that comes my way. When I don't know something, I admit it. Knowing that I don't know is also knowledge.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

It is the wounded oyster that mends its shell with pearl.

~ Ralph Waldo Emerson ~

Many of us felt like outsiders in the past. As children we weren’t in the most popular group, or we were picked last when teams were chosen. And almost everyone has been picked on sometimes. As adults our wounds may have been self-inflicted, but no less painful for that. The key question today is, are we still on a track that creates more wounds, or are we on the mend?

There is great spiritual benefit to knowing what it feels like to be a wounded person. It provides the resource that many great men have built their wisdom and perspective upon. We all know men we admire deeply who have come through hard and painful times, not knowing how it would all turn out. They followed this path of healing and spiritual growth and, because of their healing, have become men of the highest quality.

Today I can see my past wounds as a source for spiritual and emotional strength.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

I like to think my purpose in life is to love.

~ Jane Nakken ~

Most would agree that we are here for a reason. Reflecting on where we have come from and the changes that have occurred in our lives, we are convinced that some Power has been present every step of the way. We do have both a purpose and a protector.

The panic to determine our specific purpose is not unusual for addicts like us. We demand absolutes; guesswork frightens us. But finding a sponsor who will tell us that our purpose doesn’t matter will be to our benefit. From her we’ll learn to take our experiences in stride, trusting that we’ll discover who we are and what we need to do next if we accept life as it unfolds.

If we must have a purpose now, choosing to believe our purpose is loving others eases our way. And really, there is no purpose more worthy any-way.

Today I will express to others the love I know my Higher Power has for me. It’s the best action I can take.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I feel stronger when I focus on the positive

Since I have a dual disorder, I can easily obsess about my past, my pain, my problems. But this does not help (as I'm finding out). When I focus on my weaknesses or liabilities, I just feel weaker.

I understand that in dual recovery it is important to be aware of character defects and my behavior. But what I need to concentrate on is the present, my progress, and what I am doing to recover. When I focus on my strengths or assets, I get what I need: more strength.

Today I will write out two affirmations about my strengths and remind myself of them at meals.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

Freedom is a system based on courage.

~ Charles Peguy ~

Perhaps the most difficult thing to reclaim is our freedom. During active addiction, freedom was often a word we used to rationalize sick behavior and avoid being responsible for ourselves. We lost all hope of happiness and growth.

Now we know that true freedom comes only from the courageous act of surrender. When we accept God’s help in defeating our addiction, we find again the supreme freedom and happiness that come to one who has overcome the impossible.

With our new courage, and with the help of our Higher Power, we’re learning to share our freedom and happiness with others.

Today let me be grateful for all of God’s remarkable, freedom-producing gifts. How happy I am to be a part of Your world.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

I am beginning to learn that it is the sweet, simple things of life which are the real ones after all.

~ Laura Ingalls Wilder ~

It is often advised in meetings to check your baggage at the door. What this means is that too often there is a tendency to drag everything around with you in recovery: your past, your childhood issues, everything and everyone you have lost, your anger or sadness, your inability to forgive yourself and others, and more. Such things can weigh you down to such an extent that they can prevent you from moving forward.

Similarly, the greater the number of physical things you carry around with you, the more overwhelmed you may feel about life in general. Take time to look into your closets and go through your bureau drawers. Peer into your garage, basement, and attic. Then ask yourself, “What do I really need?”

Mother Mary Madeleva once said, “I like to go to Marshall Field’s in Chicago just to see how many things there are in the world that I do not want.” So too can you start to use a critical eye in reviewing the possessions that stuff your life.

I will take the time to assess not only what I need to carry around with me in recovery, but also the things in my life.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

You have learned something. That always feels at first as if you had lost something.

~ George Bernard Shaw ~

We listen as we watch the newcomer cry, “After coming to meetings, I realized my parents couldn't be there for me anymore. They have an addictive disease and I can't get the help I need from them. I feel like I've lost them!" We may nod our heads as we relate these words to our lives.

Didn't we feel like we had lost family, friends, or mates when we began learning the truths in the program? As we learned about addiction, we were faced with just how much we had depended on others to help us. We discovered we weren't who we thought we were. We realized there could be another way of life.

A snake must shed its old skin before the new one can appear. Like furniture, parts of us become worn and uncomfortable. We must replace the old with the new. For every gain, there must be a loss. But instead of mourning our losses tonight, we can rejoice over what we have gained.

I can be grateful for all the gains in my life and in my growth. The losses have allowed me to become stronger and more fruitful.

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Carrying the message

None of us is the ultimate Twelfth-Stepper. Carrying the message of Step Twelve is one of the most important aspects of our recovery, but it can become a problem. The danger is when we try to impress people or get grandiose rather than simply carry the message.

It is not our power or personality that helps people on Step Twelve calls; rather it’s the power and truth of the program working through us. It makes our hands steady and clears our minds. We only carry the message; God delivers it.

Am I a good Twelfth-Stepper?

Higher Power, in carrying the message of recovery to those who still suffer, help me be clear and humble.

Today I will practice humility by

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

I can live for two months on a good compliment.

~ MARK TWAIN ~

Newcomer

At a meeting I shared about a loss I’ve gone through, and the response was amazing. People expressed sympathy and understanding, and a number of them shared experiences of their own that were similar to mine. It surprised me. I’d told the same story at a different meeting, and people there didn’t say a thing to me. I had left feeling like there was something wrong with me. I can’t figure out what I did differently this time; maybe there was something about the way I shared.

Sponsor

My hunch is that the difference in response to your sharing from different groups of people had to do with things over which you had no control. There are many possible explanations for people’s responses to us; we needn’t assume we’re responsible for what they do or don’t do.

There’s an Al-Anon slogan (nicknamed “The Three C’s”) that says, “I didn’t cause it, I can’t control it, and I can’t cure it.” For me, it’s a helpful one to remember, especially when people in my life are active in an addiction or are on a “dry drunk.” It’s useful in situations with non-addicts, too. Most human beings behave as they do for reasons that have little to do with us.

We’re entitled to support and response from other human beings. When I find myself in a group where I experience a warm, engaged response from others, I make a point of returning. Support and validation from others quenches one of my deepest thirsts. But we can’t rely on others to give us a sense of self-esteem. That comes from within; it grows as we do the work of recovery.

Today, I go where I find food for my spirit.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

Remember those days when we were SMART; when we knew our way around; when nobody could tell us what to do; when we actually felt sorry for the dumb SOB's who labored every day and took their pay check home to Mama?

In those days, the world had chosen up sides; we were on one side and everybody else was on the other. We would work them for all we could; they in turn kicked us around at every opportunity.

Frankly, fellows, who was actually smart and who dumb?

**************************************************

~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

I Must Change

Spirit of the Universe, I pray to remember.
No one can make me change.
No one can stop me from changing.
No one really knows how I must change,
Not even I. Not until I start.
Help me remember that it only takes a slight shift
In direction to begin to change my life.

*************************************************

~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

HOW TO GET A DEMONSTRATION

Here is one way of solving a problem by scientific prayer.

Get by yourself and be quiet for a few moments. Do not strain to think rightly or to find the right thought, but just be quiet. Remind yourself that the Bible says "Be still, and know that I am God."

Then begin to think about God. Remind yourself of some of the things that you know about Him—that he is present everywhere, that He knows you and loves you and cares for you. Read a few verses of the Bible, or a paragraph from any spiritual book that helps you.

During this state it is important not to think about your problem, but to give your attention to God. In other words, do not try to solve your problem directly (which would be using will power) but rather become interested in thinking of the nature of God.

Next claim the thing that you need. Claim it quietly and confidently, as you would ask for something to which you are entitled. Then give thanks for the accomplished fact as you would if somebody handed you a gift. Jesus said when you pray, believe that you receive and you shall receive.

Do not discuss your treatment with anyone.

In quietness and in confidence shall be your strength . . . (Isaiah 30:15).

**************************************************

~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Heir Pollution

A man is made impure not by what goes into his mouth, but by what comes out of it.

~ Jesus Christ ~

A man at a Hindu ashram came to Swami Muktananda and complained, "You must get rid of my roommate! He is a smoker, and his foul smoke is polluting the atmosphere in my room. Someone as vile as he should not be allowed here!"

Muktananda thought for a moment and responded, “I will change your room for his sake, not yours. Polluting thephysical atmosphere with smoke is an offense, but polluting the psychic atmosphere with judgment is worse. You are hurting yourself and the universe more with your anger and judgment than he is with his smoke."

What we do with our bodies is important, but what we do with our minds and hearts is even more important. Because we are all spiritual beings, the condition of our spirit is more real and meaningful than the physical atmosphere. Of course we must take care to keep a clean physical environment, but before that, we must be sure our thoughts are in harmony with a loving and forgiving universe.

We are heirs to the Kingdom of Heaven, which we magnify by thinking and acting in accordance with our identity as godly beings. Fear and judgment muddy our vision of love. Let us claim our inheritance by aligning our minds and hearts with the pure spirits we are.

Let my thoughts reflect divinity; help me walk in the golden atmosphere of truth.

My mind is the mind of God. My heart is a vehicle of pure love.

July 8

Step by Step

"Long since I had come to believe I was insane because I did so many things I didn't want to do. I didn't want to neglect my children. I loved them, I think, as much as any parent. But I did neglect them. I didn't want to get into fights, but I did get into fights. I didn't want to get arrested, but I did get arrested. I didn't want to jeopardize the lives of innocent people by driving an automobile while intoxicated, but I did. I quite naturally came to the conclusion that I must be insane." - Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, Ch 2 ("He Had to be Shown"), p 199.

Today, reach into yesterday to remember and keep always that I did all I thought I could not to drink but that my intentions were little more than the best laid plans of mice and men. In remembering yesterday so I don't repeat today what I did then, may I also recognize and admit that I am powerless over alcohol. And with that admission, I have taken the First Step toward recovery. With that step comes power and control to say I do not have to submit to what I cannot control - alcohol - and that my intention not to do what I don't want to do is in my control. Today, I seize control of what overpowers me by declaring no more. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

DREAMING

Dreaming permits each and every one of us to be quietly and safely insane every night of our lives.

~ William Dement ~

The mind is wildly active during sleep. We have found in recovery that it takes a long time for our minds to heal. We often wake up in the morning and wonder where we have spent the night.

We must remember that before we came into the Program we did not let ourselves rest. There is a lot of processing our minds must do to catch up on all the time we numbed it closed. We may dream of returning to our active addiction. We may relive scenes so real we will swear they happened.

Not to worry. This too shall pass. We remember to keep our telephone numbers near. A late night call to a sponsor is a great way to slay the dragons of our "drunk dreams." The key to recovery is in Letting Go and Letting God.

As I ask God to take my dreams of the past and replace them with the gifts of today, my reliving of past history will go away.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

Victory is in the quality of competition, not the final score.

~ Mike Marshall ~

Competition is neither good nor bad. It is like any other force that can be used in good ways or bad. For us, winning means being the kind of man we most admire. When we are in a competitive game, whether it is in athletics, business, or a friendly discussion, we strive first to compete in ways that we respect. We don’t give up our moral or human values in order to come out with the top score at the end. We don’t indulge in hate or anger at the other guy simply because he is our competition at the moment. We play fair, we respect others, and we enjoy a good and worthy competitor.

Keeping our eye on the ball means we stay focused on what we are truly trying to win. That is a kind of wisdom that we weren’t born with; we develop it through conscious effort and attention. Today we certainly face some competitive situations, whether it is engaging with a particular co-worker or someone with an opposing viewpoint in a group we are part of. At the end of the day, if we have our values intact, we will have won our best prize.

Today I will be a strong and honorable competitor.

**************************************************

~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

No one can become a winner without losing many, many times.

~ Marie Lindquist ~

The emphasis our society places on winning— whether it’s a golf tournament, a relationship, or a promotion at work—heightens our shame of losing. And unfortunately, we define ourselves as losers all too easily.

It isn’t possible to excel in every pursuit. Because we compare ourselves with others—this woman who plays tennis like a pro or that woman who just received a promotion—we give ourselves a failing grade. But do we ever look at another woman as a whole? She is just like us, really. Her successes are sprinkled among her many tries that miss their mark.

It takes perseverance to succeed at anything. Perhaps it’s time to redefine success for ourselves and consider just making an attempt to do something well as success. It is, after all.

As long as I try my best at relationships, work, or play today, I will feel good about my efforts.

**************************************************

~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I am coming to accept my recovery process

Sometimes I experience strong emotional symptoms, like suddenly becoming angry or afraid. Sometimes I have the urge to use chemicals to feel better (or at least to feel different). Even when I stay clean and sober, I can still feel uneasy at times.

These experiences upset me. Afterward I may feel worn out. But I'm learning that this is what it's like to have a dual disorder, even in the process of dual recovery. Still I am grateful to know something about my illnesses, and grateful to be learning about the many ways I can deal with them-through counseling, support groups or Twelve Step meetings, sponsors or friends, and acceptance.

I will write down this sentence in my journal: "I accept the way I am and my process of recovery." I could even say it out loud to someone who understands me.

*************************************************

~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

We can move the entire mountain one piece at a time.

~ Chinese Proverb ~

Few important matters are handled well in one massive sweep. After active addiction, we believed we could somehow get several months or years worth of recovery in just a few days. We quickly learned that recovery is a lifelong process, not an event. Yet, what we gain in recovery is well worth the wait. Our journey restores quality at a pace which allows us to appreciate it. Our difficulties become less overwhelming, and we learn to maintain balance by taking small steps. Belonging to a fellowship that helps and celebrates these changes in us enriches each level of our growth. As we strengthen our bodies, clear our minds, and find a conscious contact with our Higher Power, we feel we can start a new life.

Our course will always be determined by the small steps we take each day. Then, one day, we will look back and marvel at all that’s happened and is happening in our growth. And we’ll celebrate the patience we’ve gained in the process.

Today let me see and enjoy the small steps I’m taking.

**************************************************

~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

Mama exhorted her children at every opportunity to “jump at de sun.” We might not land on the sun, but at least we would get off the ground.

~ Zora Neale Hurston ~

Starting from when you were a child, you may have been pushed into goal-setting. You may have been asked to think about what you wanted to be when you grew up. As you grew older, the questions may have become more persistent: “Are you going to college? What are you going to major in? What do you want to be doing with your life?” Even in your first job interviews, you may have been asked, “Where do you see yourself five years from now?” But the program is not based on goal-setting. While it is important to have a single commitment—not a goal—of achieving abstinence each day, if you create definite goals for your recovery you may set yourself up for failure. You will not be open to testing your strength, to trying new things, to meeting new people, and to giving yourself the freedom to recover at your own pace.

The pace to recovery has been likened to peeling an onion—a layer at a time, not all at once, and not with a pre-set idea of which layer will be removed at a particular time.

I will set goals in my life, but I will let my recovery unfold.

**************************************************

~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

When we are tired, we are attacked by ideas we conquered long ago.

~ Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche ~

Many times our late night thinking is like a late night movie. It can be scary, it's usually of poor quality, and it makes little sense. Trying to understand ourselves or to make decisions during such times only leads to crazy thoughts.

When we can't apply the Steps and the principles of the program because our minds are running like a late night movie, we have only one alternative to insanity. That's to go to bed. Shut off the movie reel and go to sleep. When our bodies are tired, our muscles can't perform and we're left with little energy. This kind of thinking is our mind's only way of telling us that it needs rest. We need to respect this.

The program works for us when we're alert, focused, and able to process healthy thinking. Tired minds breed tired thoughts—thoughts we've been over many times. The cure for a tired mind is an alert one, and the medicine is a good night’s sleep!

Tonight I can shut off the late night movie reels of my mind and go to sleep. Sleep is my Higher Power's gift to help my mind get the rest it needs.

**************************************************

~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Letting go of anger

As long as anger dominates us, it is difficult to make progress in the program. Some of the ways anger shows up include gossip, slander, backstabbing, profanity, fault-finding, resentment, quarrelsomeness, impatience, mockery, and irritability. We are all guilty of these behaviors to some degree, probably every day.

Anger is a pattern that we need to change to make progress. It has probably caused more grief than any other character defect. To let go of anger, we inventory it; we pray to release it and to practice not getting angry.

Am I working on my anger?

Higher Power, help me to practice the virtues of patience and love. When I am loving, I cannot be angry.

I will inventory my anger today, and then I will

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

**************************************************

~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

Change in all things is sweet.

~ ARISTOTLE ~

Newcomer

I don’t know why I’m still going through such emotional ups and downs at this point. I’m not in withdrawal, my body chemistry is no longer in chaos, and I know how to take better care of myself. I’m open to many new things, and I’m growing and changing faster than I ever expected. Why should I feel bad?

Sponsor

Each time I reach a new awareness, I have to go through a grieving process for the old me. Suddenly it feels as if I’m someone else, somewhere else. I’m not the person I was yesterday. Even if that person was less conscious and closer to active addiction, still, that person was the me I knew. Sometimes I miss that old familiar self. We’d spent a lot of time together.

Recovery awakens us to new possibilities. We have to change, experiment, take risks—even though we may think we detest change! Being alive and having joy sustains us. We may not have all the answers, but we want to ask the questions. Taking time for daily meditation helps us to find the peace and calm at our center. As recovery continues, the sense that everything is moving too quickly will slow down.

Today, though things may not be different, I am different.

**************************************************

~ THE EYE OPENER ~

The spoke that is on top of the wheel will be, in half a revolution, on the bottom and in the mud. Another half turn and it will be on the top again.

The same applies to us alcoholics. We, too, have our cycles, but in the AA Program we have acquired a faith in ourselves, a reliance on our fellowship and a belief in a Power Greater than Ourselves that enable us to take our bad along with the good in full knowledge that if we "stay right" everything will turn out right eventually.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

Prayer for Natural Disasters

O God of Goodness,
In the mystery of natural disasters, we look to You,
Trusting that there is an explanation that will
Satisfy our minds and hearts.
Accept our compassion for our fellow men,
Our desire for their relief,
And hope and wisdom to accept
The forces of nature.

*************************************************

~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

A THRILLING EXPERIMENT

Why not make the following experiment, which will not only be thrillingly interesting, but will certainly teach you more in one day than you could learn from books or lectures in many weeks.

Here is what you have to do. For one whole day think, speak, and act exactly as you would if you were absolutely convinced of the truth of the statements that God has all power and infinite intelligence, and that His nature is infinite goodness and love.

To think in this manner all day will be the most difficult thing, because thought is so subtle. To speak in accordance with these truths will be easier, if you are vigilant. To act in accordance with them will be the easiest part, although it may require much in the way of moral courage.

And being fully persuaded that, what he had promised, he was able also to perform (Romans 4:21).

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Beyond Appearances

The light of the spirit is invisible, concealed in all beings. It is seen by the seers of the subtle, when their vision is keen and clear.

~ The Upanishads ~

A man in search of enlightenment found his way to a remote village in India, where a saint was known to live and teach. After a long and grueling quest, he was told by a local merchant that he could find the guru on the steps of a certain house near a particular intersection. The man rushed to the site, where he found a tipsy man drinking. Disappointed, he returned to the shop and complained that he had found only a drunkard. The shopkeeper laughed and told him, "That was the saint!"

Astonished, the man argued, "But no saint would be sitting there drinking!"

"This one does," answered the merchant. "You see, he is a very advanced soul who has mastered nearly all the lessons of life. The only experience he needs to complete is passion for those with addictions. Once he has mastered that, he will have finished his incarnations on earth. If you would have talked to him, you would have discovered that behind his worldly guise, he is a great and illumined master."

We must not let our judgments and expectations stand in the way of receiving blessings when they are offered. We may have preconceived notions about what a holy person would look like or how one would act. But wise and holy people come in many different packages, sometimes very unlike the ones we expect. The truth is knowable not by its form, but by its essence.

I pray to keep my mind open to find You in all places.
Let me be bigger than my judgments and expectations.

My mind and heart are open to receive the gifts of Spirit.

July 9

Step by Step

"If you think you are an atheist, an agnostic, a skeptic or have any other form of intellectual pride which keeps you from accepting what is in this book, I feel sorry for you. If you still think you are strong enough to beat the game alone, that is your affair. But if you really and truly want to quit drinking liquor for good and all and sincerely feel that you must have some help, we know that we have an answer for you. It never fails, if you go about it with one-half the zeal you have been in the habit of showing when you were getting another drink.
"Your Heavenly Father will never let you down!" - Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, Part 1 ("Doctor Bob's Nightmare"), p 181.

Today, timeless wisdom that echoes through the years, and its message is simple: do I earnestly thirst sobriety and recovery, or am I copping out with "intellectual pride" to dismiss AA as ineffective? If I am desperate enough to want to stop drinking and begin recovery, I need to discard any skewed or phony intelligence and "go to any lengths" to sober up. But if I am not yet willing to yield to the program because of some intellectual skepticism or an unwillingness to believe that a power stronger than myself may actually exist, maybe I'm not yet desperate enough to "go to any lengths" - or hit my bottom. Today, my intelligence and pride that probably enabled my drinking go down the toilet - along with the vomit from last night's drunk. Today, I'm desperate enough. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

THE PROBLEM

Coming together is a beginning keeping together is progress; working together is success.

~ Anonymous ~

One of the biggest problems of addiction began with the initial desire to increase and continue to use an addictive substance. All of us who have gotten to the point of overdoing the consumption of a substance were basically, in some manner, filling a need to be what we thought was "normal" like other people.

We were convinced we were unworthy, inadequate, afraid, and lonely whenever we compared ourselves to others. We disconnected and isolated ourselves, not only from our peers, but from our own real selves. We lived in a world of fantasy.

Our problem was more than a physical hunger for the things that made us dependent." It was also not dealing with crazy thinking, self-defeating behavior, and screwed-up emotions.

Today, I'll remember addiction is two-fold: one was my substance use and the other was an irrational thinking problem.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

Don’t go around saying the world owes you a living.
The world owes you nothing. It was here first.

~ Mark Twain ~

Some men have a very passive attitude about their life. While they may seem to have a lot of bravado, they feel dependent on the inside and look to others to supply what they need. When it doesn’t come, they feel hurt, neglected, and angry. Others see their life as a gift from the beginning. Opportunities may be more or less available, but they use what they have to create a life that has meaning. They don’t settle for negative thinking and they develop a rewarding inner world.

We can change our attitude toward our lives. All of us have some unproductive, negative thoughts that only keep us stuck. Perhaps we have old resentments that burden our days, or we hold on to old debts that could never be repaid. To free ourselves to live fully, we can consciously and deliberately reshape these thoughts. We can shift our attention from what we don’t have to what is possible now.

Today I am grateful for the gift of life, and I will take my life and grow from here.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

I’ve become stronger and more positive as I’ve experienced life.

~ Jo Ann Reed ~

With the help of the program we grow through our fears while we mature. As little girls, many things may have scared us—and for some of us, with good reason. The abuse or dysfunction we may have lived through made us wary of many people and situations.

We can’t change the past. Whatever we experienced must be reckoned with. But we can believe that this program, the Twelve Steps, and the women who share our journey can help us accept the past, forgive the injustices, and become willing to believe in the possibility of a good life.

Because we’re still here, we undoubtedly have a purpose to fulfill. We can learn what our special purpose is by opening ourselves to the messages we get from our trusted friends and from God in prayer. In time we’ll perhaps see that the experiences we had as children give us special insights as adults. We are unfolding through the grace of God.

Today I will not be fear-filled. I am strong. My friends, God, and this program give me all the strength I need.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I am learning about side effects

I don’t understand—I didn't feel this tired before I started taking medication. I feel jittery and I'm often thirsty. What's especially hard is that with these changes I often feel irritable.

When I mentioned this medication problem to my doctor, whom I trust, she helped me understand it. I learned that (a) by itself, recovering from a dual disorder takes a lot of energy; (b) I am still getting over the effects of street drugs in my body; (c) my medication may well cause some jitteriness and thirstiness; it's a common complaint. Knowing all this helps me relax with these changes and discomforts.

To help adjust to the side effects, I will rest when I need it, practice a relaxation exercise, drink fluids, and avoid coffee especially before bed.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

We're our own worst critics. By far.

~ Julie F. ~

When we make amends, we often forget the person we really harmed over and over again — ourselves. Many of us mercilessly beat ourselves up. We are relentless with self-criticism. When it comes to ourselves, we are totally unforgiving.

The Twelve Steps remind us to take inventory and make amends to those we have harmed. This includes family, friends, fellow employees — and also ourselves.

Now we realize we need to be gentler on ourselves. We need to be less critical. We are working a recovery program now and things are getting better. We can lighten up. Mentally beating ourselves up creates a spiral of self-criticism and self-blame, and we don’t deserve it. We can learn to recognize self- criticism, and replace it with self-love. We can replace pessimism with an optimistic, new appreciation for our unique selves. We find we do deserve it.

Today let me be a best friend to myself.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

For nearly 30 years, I have been saying Alcoholics Anonymous is the most effective self-help group in the world. The good accomplished by this fellowship is inestimable.... God bless A.A.

~ Ann Landers ~

For more than seventy years scientists, psychologists, doctors, and others have tried to figure out why Alcoholics Anonymous works. While not everyone who enters AA is cured, for those who stay it can be a life-transforming experience.

What makes AA work? It could be that the program helps develop a spiritual awareness that gives AA members greater meaning and purpose to their lives. Perhaps it is the consistent message of the Big Book, AA’s sacred text. Maybe it is the Twelve Steps and their logical progression to recovery. Or perhaps the admission “I am an alcoholic” develops a greater acceptance and understanding.

While we may not truly comprehend how the program works, we can witness the power in its fellowship. Such Unity provides much-needed emotional support and lifts the spirits of each person, so that one and all understand, “I am not alone.” And, when AA members share their story in the public forum provided by a meeting, both the Speaker and listener are engaged in a dialogue that can lead to greater self-awareness.

I keep coming to AA because it works.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

You take yourself too serious! You are too **** important in your own mind. That must be changed!

~ Carlos Castaneda ~

How can we appreciate the world around us if we're blinded by our self-importance? Like the horse who wears blinders, we only see ourselves apart from everything else. We miss the natural beauty and the loveliness of human nature if we only have a mirror before our eyes.

Losing self-importance begins by opening our eyes and ears to those around us. By listening to others, we learn our lives and experiences are not unique. By looking around us, we see we have the same good qualities—and bad traits—as others.

Today may have been a day when we were blinded by our own self-importance. Yet tonight we can remember we are no better—and no worse—than anyone else. Tonight we can take off our blinders and become part of the world around us.

What uniqueness can I recall in the people around me today?

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Working on problems

Once we’re clean and sober, then we complain about all our problems: We have bills, we want a job, we want sex, we want more clothes, and so on. Typically, we are encouraged not to worry about these problems and just work the program! It is hard to believe that they will work themselves out as we work our program, but they do.

Our Higher Power will take care of us as long as we do the necessary footwork. But doing the footwork doesn’t include much complaining, it means working the Steps. Our problems will be taken care of as a result of our work.

Can I work more (and complain less)?

Higher Power, as I work the program, help me believe that all your promises to me will be fulfilled.

Instead of staying stuck complaining, today I will work on

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

**************************************************

~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

My favoured temple is a humble heart.

~ PHILIP JAMES BAILEY ~

Newcomer

What’s with these people who are still coming to meetings after five, ten, even twenty years of recovery? If they don’t have problems with addiction any more, why do they still spend so much of their free time here? And what about the ones who don’t always sound so good? Hasn’t the program worked for them?

Sponsor

Old-timers who are willing to keep coming and to let us see both their human vulnerability and their commitment to recovery are doing us—and themselves—a service. We have a saying here: “We don’t graduate.” There’s no cure for my addiction, but there is healing.

For me, taking time to continue my relationship with meetings and to give service isn’t a sacrifice. It helps me stay in touch with myself in ways that my day-to-day experience doesn’t offer. Without meetings, it’s too easy for us to start thinking that we’re “cured” and that we might be able to handle just a little bit of our drug of choice again.

Most people who relapse start by drifting away from meetings. More stay out there than come back. Some of us die of our disease. I know that a few people manage to stay away from addiction on their own, but what’s the virtue in proving that we can do something in isolation? It’s easier, more heart-expanding, and more fun to be part of a fellowship.

And let’s not forget gratitude. This program saved our lives. Like those whose example and help benefited us, we continue to “give it away in order to keep it.”

Today, I acknowledge the power of this addiction. I don’t take recovery for granted.

**************************************************

~ THE EYE OPENER ~

As a piece of machinery deteriorates faster when standing idle so it is with the Soul.

It is a law of Nature that any faculty that is not used is taken away, and the more it is used the stronger it becomes.

An active Soul is a healthy Soul and the various functions of the body are so arranged that it is not possible to have physical and mental health without spiritual health and strength.

**************************************************

~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

My New Employer

I have a new Employer. Being all powerful,
You provide what I need if I keep close to You and perform Your work well.
I have become less and less interested in myself, my little plans and designs.
Your wisdom shows me more and more what I can contribute to life.

As I feel new power flow in, enjoy peace of mind, face life successfully,
become conscious of Your presence,
I feel less fear of today, tomorrow and the hereafter.
I have been reborn.

~ Adapted from material in Alcoholics Anonymous, Fourth Edition, page 63 ~

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

SELF-CONDEMNATION KEEPS US BACK

People who are honestly trying to follow the spiritual life often make the mistake of being too hard on themselves. Because they do not seem to be progressing as fast as they would naturally like, or because they find themselves repeating some old fault that they thought they had completely overcome, they feel discouraged, and condemn them-selves mercilessly.

All this is foolish. If you are doing your best to use what Truth you know, at present, you are doing all that you have a right to expect of yourself.

Don't be impatient with yourself—but this does not mean that you are to be lazy or complacent. Handle yourself as a wise parent handles an obstreperous child-kindly, patiently, bur with gentle firmness, not expecting too much too quickly, but foreseeing inevitable growth and improvement.

. . . and all of you are children of the most high (Psalm 82:6).

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Hands to Earth

The labor of the body relieves us from the fatigue of the mind; and it is this which forms the happiness of the poor.

~ La Rochefoucauld ~

On my way to speak at a conference, I shared the back seat of a car with a Middle-Eastern man who was also scheduled to lecture there. When he asked me about myself, I proudly told him I had written several books. Then I asked him, "What do you do for a living?” expecting him to tell me he owned a falafel stand in Manhattan.

"l'm a brain surgeon," he answered dryly.

Feeling somewhat intimidated, I tried to keep the ball rolling: "So, how did you get into brain surgery?" I asked, not unlike the way I would have asked someone else, "How did you develop an interest in needlepoint?"

"It's part of my religion," he answered.(I know there is a joke that doctors think they are God, but this was taking it too far.) "In Sufi religion, there is a rule that everyone must take a profession in which they work with their hands. This is the vocation I chose. "

It seems like a wise rule. I know many people who work with their heads and many people who work with their hands, and by far, I find that the people who use their hands are a happier lot. The elements of nature ground and heal us. All of the principles of spirit are reflected in nature. To work with the elements is to be constantly reminded of our source. When we live in our intellect, we lose touch with the power of nature. When the European culture moved west and overcame the indigenous peoples, a great treasure was ravaged. We must re-establish harmony with the earth that nourishes us.

Welcome opportunities to work with your hands, Gardening, pottery and crafts, massage, carpentry, and any earth-oriented endeavor will restore balance and harmony in a way that thinking alone cannot.

I pray to live in harmony with the elements.
Great Spirit, restore my connection with nature.

As I touch the earth, I am healed and I give healing.

July 10

Step by Step

"Liquor ceased to be a luxury; it became a necessity. 'Bathtub' gin, two bottles a day, and often three, got to be routine. Sometimes a small deal would net a few hundred dollars, and I would pay my bills at the bars and delicatessens. This went on endlessly, and I began to waken very early in the morning shaking violently. A tumbler full of gin followed by a half a dozen bottles of beer would be required if I were to eat any breakfast. Nevertheless, I still thought I could control the situation ..." - Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, Ch 1 ("Bill's Story"), p 5.

Today, grant me understanding that drinking is neither a luxury nor a "right" for me and that I can never again be a "responsible" drinker but, in fact, will progress in severity. And as AA co-founder Bill W. came to believe that he could control "the situation" but eventually could not, so it goes for me. Let me recognize the lifeline that is there for me but that Bill W. helped construct the lifeline. The help that Bill W. co-developed is there for me now, when it wasn't there for him. Today, I will not just ask for help - I will embrace it because it is there. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

THE SOLUTION

The answers will come, if your own house is in order.

~ Big Book ~

Our continuing spiritual growth through the Program has given us solutions to the problems we thought we couldn't solve. Through disciplined concentration on the 12 Steps and working the Program, the answers have come, some slowly some quickly.

One solution was the change in our attitude when we admitted and accepted the seriousness of our addiction. This awakening prompted the willingness to begin working the 12 Steps. The answer is the development of honesty, gratitude, faith, belief, humility, and the ability to love others and our inner self.

My recovery is physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual. When I am willing to work on all four, the answers will come.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them.

~ Albert Einstein ~

Many of us stubbornly hold on to our long-established, preferred ways of looking at things. We don’t think we are stubborn, only that we rely on what worked for us in the past. Perhaps as young guys we coped with stress by keeping our thoughts to ourselves, or we figured out that we wouldn’t get hurt if we didn’t trust anyone. All of the patterns that we developed as youngsters were our best attempts at the time to deal with our lives. The greater the stress we felt, the harder won were our coping responses, and the stronger our attachment to them.

Our best answers from boyhood may not fit our lifetimes as men. Holding too dearly to childhood solutions freezes us in immature and weaker levels of growth. What was charming and harmless behavior in a child can be manipulating and dishonest in a man. Thus we create new problems. We need to let ourselves become more vulnerable—to give up the security of our old ways and open ourselves to the messages coming from our friends, our program, and our experiences.

Today I will be open to insecurity and create the possibility of growing stronger.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

Asking God for help has finally become a part of my life. Now I’m learning to quiet myself to hear God’s response.

~ Joan Rohde ~

No problem is too insignificant for us to look to God for guidance. And every problem gives us an opportunity to strengthen our spiritual development. As we rely more on God for our sense of direction, we will encounter fewer situations that cause us turmoil. Trusting God’s presence and guidance lessens the confusion that in past years may have crippled us.

Most of us came into this program with little or no belief in a loving Higher Power. It may have taken frequent suggestions from sponsors and other people in recovery for us to be willing to ask for the help we were promised. But finally we cleared that hurdle. Immediately we faced another one. Asking for help, we found, was the easier part; listening for God’s reply was harder.

But the right reply will come to us at the right time. We will sense the answer we’re looking for when the time for knowing it is right.

I will include my Higher Power in all my problem solving today. The solution I need will be mine if I patiently wait for the response.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I can enjoy each day

When I was using and having serious symptoms, my life was troubled and chaotic. Each day was much like the last (some just held less distress than others). I just wanted to forget them.

But in recovery I experience my life differently. Now that I am free of mood-altering chemicals and stable on psychiatric medication, the chaos is gone. I no longer want to forget my days. I am learning how to feel useful and enjoy each day once again. As I take part in my recovery activities, I feel more connected to my life and the world around me.

Today I will take a risk and do something new.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

This life is worth living, we can say, since it is what we make it.

~ William James ~

Active addiction fogs our thinking and progressively limits our choices in life. Finally, we are left with only two choices — recovery or death. By choosing recovery, we have again opened our lives to many new options in sobriety. Sober living requires choice. Our growth depends on our being able to identify opportunity and deal with its challenges, to face life’s ups and downs rather than running from them.

We also come to understand that our reality is what we make it. Things and people, places and events, are neither good nor bad until we determine their quality. This opportunity of choice gives sober living its value. Now, we can think through and determine the value of our lives. Today, we can accept the responsibility of free choice, and take steps to change ourselves. Events no longer overwhelm us. We can accept challenges, work through our problems, and enjoy the benefits of our work. What we used to think of as obstacles are now new opportunities we shape with the tools of recovery.

Today let me accept challenges as just what I need to grow in recovery.

**************************************************

~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

Habit has a kind of poetry.

~ Simone de Beauvoir ~

A habit is simply a manner of behavior that falls into a pattern. It can be a set time for doing things, a particular way of doing something, or a tradition or custom. Exercising at the same time of day, taking your dog for a romp in the park each afternoon, vacationing with your family at the same place every summer, attending church on Sunday, or going out to dinner on Friday nights are examples of good habits. While such things are not physically addictive, when they are absent from your life you may feel emotionally or spiritually empty. Without them, you can miss the pleasure and enjoyment they bring.

You can even convert something you do not like doing into a good habit. Perhaps you dislike doing laundry or mowing the lawn. But when you seek out the positive elements in such activities—all your clothes smell fresh and clean or you have the opportunity to get outdoors and make your yard look nice—you can convert them into habits you enjoy.

The more bad habits you replace with good ones, the less likely you will be to engage in the bad habits—and the more likely you will be to develop their positive re-placements into lifelong good habits.

I will develop something I really like to do into a good habit.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

You must travel the river, live on it, follow it when there is morning light, and follow it when there is nothing but dark and the banks have blurred into shadows.

~ Will Haygood ~

Any lifeguard knows a swimmer who tries to swim against the current stands a good chance of becoming tired and drowning. Go with the flow is a good reminder to help us stop going against the current of life.

Tonight we may discover that our weariness is a result of swimming against today's current. We may have tried to force changes in people, places, or things. We may have even tried to force ourselves to do things we were incapable of doing.

Going with the flow tonight means accepting the way we feel—right now. It means listening to our inner voices when they tell us whether we're tired, hungry, cold, or lonely. By accepting ourselves and not fighting how we feel, we'll be better able to travel the river tonight.

Tonight I will respect myself and go with the flow.

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Avoiding criticism

Criticism is hard to take. If we don’t want to be criticized, we shouldn’t criticize others. At the same time, expressing concern in a loving way is not being critical.

We are entitled to our opinions, but we are not entitled to put other people down. Sharing our experience, strength, and hope is a way to help others, not to make them feel small.

Can I express loving concern? Can I share without making comparisons?

Higher Power, help me recognize when I am becoming critical; help me to be loving and humble.

Today I will praise

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

**************************************************

~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

“No” is a complete sentence.

~ SAYING HEARD AT MEETINGS ~

Newcomer

There’s a member of a group I go to regularly who’s been asking what my weekend plans are, then suggesting that we do various things together; this person has an idea for every evening or afternoon I have free! I sense that I’m being looked at as a possible romantic prospect, and I’m definitely not interested. I’ve been making excuses and not liking doing it. I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings, but I don’t want to be dishonest, either.

Sponsor

We don’t always want what others want; situations in which we have to say no keep arising in life. As you’ve discovered, making excuses or bending over backward to avoid people doesn’t always alleviate our discomfort and may even intensify it. Most of us don’t want to disappoint others, but indirectness sends the wrong message and only postpones disappointment.

I suspect that your power to hurt this person isn’t as great as you think. Most of us have survived being said no to, especially if it’s said in a way that allows us to keep our dignity. Communicating our truth sets an example of adult behavior in recovery; in the long run, our example may even prove helpful to the other person in a situation he or she has to face.

When we have something to say that is difficult for us, we can pray beforehand to be confident in our own feelings and to share them simply and clearly.

My honesty today is a gift to myself and others.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

Many of us alcoholics can withstand the big trials but succumb to life's petty irritations. We are like the mighty big-game hunter who survived many harrowing experiences with wild beasts yet lost his mind when he sat on an ant hill.

It is not too difficult to remain cool during a great crisis, but a fouled up shoestring can throw us off the beam.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

Awareness, Acceptance, Action

Dear God, slow me down when all I do is try to fix and control things and people. Help me to first accept situations as they are when I become aware of them. Slow me down in Your stillness. Mark my awareness with unselfishness, my acceptance with humility, and my actions with usefulness to me and others.

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

RECIPROCAL JUDGMENT

Read Matthew 7:1-5.

These few verses consist of only about one hundred words, and yet it is hardly too much to say that at their simple face value they comprise the most staggering document ever presented to mankind. In these five verses we are told more about the nature of man and the meaning of life, and the importance of conduct, and the art of living, and the secret of happiness and success, and the way out of trouble, and the approach to God, and the emancipation of the soul, and the salvation of the world, than all the philosophers and the theologians and the savants put together have told us—for it explains the Great Law. "Burn the rest of the books, for it is all in this one," would hold in reference to those words.

People are very apt to think, especially when they are strongly tempted, that they can probably escape the clutches of authority in some other way. If, however, they understood that the law of retribution is a cosmic law, impersonal and unchanging as the law of gravity, they would think twice before they treated other people unjustly. The law of gravity is never off duty, and no one would ever dream of trying to evade it, or coax it, or bribe it, or intimidate it. People accept it as being inevitable and shape their conduct accordingly—and the law of retribution is even as the law of gravity.

You may like or dislike the law, and if you wish, you may try to ignore it; but you cannot deny that Jesus Christ taught it, and in the most direct and emphatic way when he said:

Judge not, that ye be not judged. Far with what judgement ye judge, ye shall be judged (Matthew 7:l-2).

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Immediate Results

Only infinite patience begets immediate results.

~ A Course in Miracles ~

In my rush to leave my house one morning, I walked through a screen door. As I hastily reached to take a patio chair out of the rain, I did not see that the sliding screen door was closed, and I rammed right into it, tearing the bottom. This got my attention. I stepped back, took a few deep breaths, and asked, "What is the lesson here?" Quickly the inner voice answered, "Slow down."

The thought that your life is moving too slowly is a sign that you are moving too fast. Rushing never improves the quality of our life or the results we seek; to the contrary, it muddies our vision and causes us to make errors that cost us twice as much time and energy to repair.

The universe is proceeding with perfect timing; if you believe it is not, it is not an error in the universe, but your perception. My friend was late driving to her therapy session and got stuck behind a slowpoke on the highway. After honking and cursing at the driver in front of her, she finally had a clearing to pass. When she did, she discovered that the driver was her therapist.

Trust that you have enough time to do everything that needs to be done. Love does not worry or force; it flows. Relax into what is happening, and the peace you enjoy will be accompanied by the clarity and efficiency you gain.

Help me to know that all things are unfolding naturally.

God's timing is perfect.

July 11

Step by Step

"To be gravely affected, one does not necessarily have to drink a long time nor take the quantities some of us have. This is particularly true of women. Potential female alcoholics often turn into the real thing and are gone beyond recall in a few years. Certain drinkers, who would be greatly insulted if called alcoholics, are astonished at their inability to stop. We, who are familiar with the symptoms, see large numbers of potential alcoholics among young people everywhere. But try and get them to see it!" - Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, Ch 3 ("More About Alcoholism"), pp 33-4.

Today, if I still resist the Step One of admitting I am powerless over alcohol, let me heed the warning against comparing my own drinking to others whose drinking are more in quantity and longer in time. If I do, my desperation to find any excuse not to acknowledge my own condition has become denial. Nor can I expect a young age to shield me from powerlessness. Nor can I find justification to continue drinking if I can say I don't wake up every morning with a hangover or shakes that require a drink to calm them, or if I can say I have never spent a night in a county jail and faced a judge the day after because I was nailed for drunk driving, or if I can say I have never been in rehab. All these are consequences of alcoholism: that none has happened to me does not shield me. Today, I will not take anyone else's inventory of drinking habits to minimize or justify mine and that I and I alone might be scared enough to grab the lifeline that is AA. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

GRACE

But for the grace of God, there go I.

~ John Bradford ~

When we come in contact with those who have not yet found the Program, our first reaction is one of relief and gratitude. "There but for the grace of God, go I," we think. The next reaction is "How can I help them find what I've found?"

Before we began recovery, we would have traded in our lives for almost anyone else's. Now after a time on the Program, we feel differently about ourselves. We hear people giving thanks for their disease. They tell us without their disease they wouldn't have found the Program, and without the Program they wouldn't have found recovery.

We quit our addiction before and it never produced this sense of well-being. The difference is the Program, the Fellowship and our connection with a Higher Power.

Whatever it was that brought me to the Program, I have learned to be thankful for it. As I come in contact with those who still suffer, I can never forget that if it weren't for the grace of God, I would be where they are today.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

We couldn’t conceive of a miracle if none had ever happened.

~ Libbie Fudim ~

We are very familiar with miracles. We see the change that has happened in our own lives and in the lives of others on this journey with us. Something deep within us changed when we first decided we could accept the truth of our powerlessness and the help of a Higher Power. When a man’s personality changes profoundly, that is a miracle.

These transformations go beyond what anyone might rationally expect. Some of us had given up and were without hope. Others had given up on us too. We thought our lives could never be different after we lived so long in the grips of codependency and addiction, after we tried in so many ways to manage and control our actions and repeatedly failed. But this program provided an awakening, as if from a deep sleep or perhaps a nightmare. Now we have found a path that produces genuine miracles. We cannot easily explain it, but our compulsions are lifted.

Today I am grateful for the miracle in my own lift and Hoe lives of my friends.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

We all get to choose how we perceive things.

~ Chris DeMetsenaere ~

How happy do we really want to be? That’s per-haps the most important question we can ask our-selves every morning. We are absolutely in charge of how we answer the question and how we feel all day long. What we forget, all too often, is that our thinking doesn’t just happen to us. We create it. We are in charge of it. We are powerless over much, but our thoughts are our responsibility.

It’s exhilarating to understand deeply the breadth of our power to perceive and feel. It became habitual for us to blame others for everything that happened to us and our feelings as a result. Entrenched habits are hard to break, but it’s an adventure and a rewarding challenge to develop healthier habits.

There is no better time than now to decide what kind of day we want and to create it!

I will quietly and carefully choose how I see my life today. I will feel as happy as I want to.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I will not play doctor

I tried hanging on to the control. I thought I could manage my symptoms on my own with drugs. It didn’t work. After a long time and a lot of painful disruption in my life, I finally acknowledged just how out of control I was.

I know now that I have two illnesses and that I am not the doctor. To deal with my addiction and emotional illness, I need the help of professionals and others who have recovery. Although it is still hard for me to trust people, I hit bottom trying to do it all on my own. I want to recover and I will accept the help I need.

When I need help, I will contact one of my helpers. If I'm having a problem with my medication, I will call my doctor right away.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

Although you may not like all of us, you'll love us in the very special way we already love you.

~ Program Saying ~

We don’t have to like everyone we meet in our recovery program. Odds are we won’t. And everyone won’t like us.

But we do learn from everyone and our sharing touches many others. We may hear a nugget of wisdom one night from someone we’ve never especially liked. When we in turn reach out to that person, we feel much better about them and about ourselves.

It’s true, we do love each other in a “very special way.” But we need to nurture that love by sharing ourselves, providing support to others when we can, and respecting everyone’s right to confidentiality. As we grow spiritually, we find we have more inside—and more to give to others, too.

Our program friends are special people — we may not like all of them, but we do love them in a very special way.

Today I thank You for the friendships I’ve made in my recovery program. Help me show each person that I am grateful for his or her help.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

The actions you take during your first three months in a new job will largely determine whether you succeed or fail.

~ Michael Watkins ~

What would happen if you were hired to run a company and then, on your first day, without taking the time to learn about the company, you came into the office with firm ideas about how you will run the business?

In his book The First 90 Days, Michael Watkins out-lines success strategies for new leaders who often lack in-depth knowledge of the climate and the challenges of the organization they are entering.

The first 90 days in your recovery—whether this takes place in a treatment facility or program or by following the advice to attend “90 meetings in 90 days”—are just as critical. This start of your recovery represents a major transition in your life, and the way you begin will often determine whether you will succeed or fail. The recovery initiation period of 90 days, combined with early abstinence, provides you with the chance to develop awareness of your strengths and weaknesses and make maintaining abstinence easier. When you take the time to learn about the tools of the program and form relationships within the fellowship, you will learn that while your recovery is up to you, you do not have to do it alone.

I will learn all that I can about the program so my path in recovery will be easier.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

I never make the mistake of arguing with people for whose opinions I have no respect.

~ Gibbon ~

"She just doesn't understand." "He doesn't listen to me." "She can't see my point of view." Do we ever say these things? No matter how much we argue or how convincing our argument, we may never be able to change another's opinion.

It may be our parents. But do we value their opinion, or are we trying to force their approval? It may be a boss or co-worker. But are they people we would choose to have as friends outside work? Before we become tense and angry, we must look at the person with whom we are arguing.

Do we respect these people? Would their opinion benefit us? Are they interested in our best welfare? Sometimes we may struggle to change the opinion of those who have never supported us, rather than talk with those who have always been there for us. To distinguish between the two is the difference between disapproval and tension, and love and acceptance.

Am I driving myself crazy trying to change another's opinion? I can take a look at this and seek those opinions I value and trust.

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Showing empathy

When we first got into recovery, most of us were quite unhappy. We were in pain; we were vulnerable. We were angry and impatient. We probably didn’t like ourselves very much and may not have liked other people much.

But what if others had treated us according to these feelings? Weren’t we forgiven? Accepted? (And if we weren’t, wouldn’t it have been better if we had been?) Today, we see that we are the same as everyone else who is struggling to achieve or maintain a drug- free life. If we treat everyone well, it will help us recover.

Am I practicing generosity and compassion?

Higher Power, help me to treat others as I would want to be treated.

Today I will be especially compassionate toward

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

Good fences make good neighbors.

~ ROBERT FROST ~

Newcomer

I keep hearing people say things like “It’s a selfish program.” I don’t like the sound of the word "selfish.” I was too selfish when I was active in my addiction. You can’t just want me to think of my own recovery. What about all the suffering in the world around me? What about social responsibility? Surely it’s not wrong to try to help others.

Sponsor

I understand how that slogan may be misleading. I don’t think that it’s meant to encourage selfishness in the usual sense of that word. I wouldn’t characterize most people in recovery as selfish or ungenerous, would you? In fact, I think that the opposite is true.

The slogan is useful to remind us to have some humility. I can get pretty grandiose, thinking I ought to have all the answers for others. I’d rather be trying to figure out how to solve the world’s problems than remembering that I need to do my work, make my dinner, and get enough rest.

There are lots of people around me with all sorts of needs. I don’t like to disappoint people, so it’s taken me awhile to accept that I can’t be totally available to them all. It took time to develop some discrimination and to learn what boundaries felt comfortable to me. When someone asks something of us, we don’t have to say yes automatically. We are honest with ourselves about our limitations and priorities, putting our recovery first. Remembering to keep the focus on ourselves as we go through recovery keeps us centered.

Today, I take my needs as a recovering person seriously.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

Columbus is the only man on record who didn't know where he was going when he set sail, didn't know where he was when he got there, and didn't know where he had been when he got back, and still escaped the reputation of being an alcoholic.

If AA paid no further dividends than to get us out of that haphazard, confused and disordered way of living, it would be enough.

Now we at least know which end is up.

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

WITH WHAT MEASURE YE METE

With what measure ye mete, it shall be measured, to you again (Matthew 7:2).

If the average man understood for a moment the meaning of these words, they would tum his everyday conduct inside out, and so change him that, in a comparatively short space of time, his closest friends would hardly know him.

The plain fact is that it is the law of life that, as we think, and speak, and act toward others, so will others think, and speak, and act toward us. Everything that we do to others will sooner or later be done to us by someone, somewhere. Perhaps by someone who knows nothing of our previous action, but for every unkind word that we speak to or about another person, an unkind word will be spoken to or about us. For every time that we cheat, we will be cheated. Every time we neglect a duty, or evade a responsibility, or misuse authority over other people, we are doing something for which we will inevitably have to pay by suffering a like injury ourself.

However, it is a poor law that does not work both ways, and so it is equally true that for every good deed that you do, for every kind word that you speak, you will in the same way, at some time or other, get back an equivalent.

The Golden Rule in Scientific Christianity is: Think about others as you would wish them to think about you. In the light of the knowledge that we now possess, the observance of this rule becomes a very solemn duty, but, more than that indeed, it is a debt of honor.

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

I Read the News Today, Oh Boy

Truth in journalism is usually found on the comic page.

~ Frank DeGennaro ~

A radio commentator noted that the news we generally receive though the media is “a proctological view of life.” What is presented as the news is a carefully distilled entree of mayhem, culled for commercial saleability, playing on base fears and sensationalism. Much of the news we receive is not honest, for it is not an accurate reflection of the truth. While the media lets us know that a rape occurs every five minutes, it does not tell us how many acts of kindness occurred in that time. We rarely receive statistics on how many children were brought in to the world with delight and appreciation; how many teachers told their students, "You are destined for greatness"; how many athletes dug into themselves for the stamina to complete their jogging; how many creditors extended extra grace to their overdue accounts; how many drivers slowed down to allow cars from a side street in to the lineup on a main thoroughfare; or how many times any one said, “I love you.'' When the news reflects the whole of life, not just its sordid aspects, it will be honest, serviceful, and worthy of our attention.

If we wish to get more accurate news, we must withdraw our fascination from evil and reinvest it in peace. A San Francisco newspaper published two different versions of a day's news, one with a sensational headline about murder, and the other with a more modest banner about progress in peace talks. The sensational headline outsold the more mellow edition by four to one.

Invest in a better world by placing your attention on what works, rather than what doesn't. Do not start or end your day by listening to newscasts. Celebrate all the good you hear about, and pray that we learn from our pain and suffering, rather than dwell on it. Make the news of the day better by shining the light of your consciousness on the good, the beautiful and the true.

I pray to be a beacon. Give me the strength to bless the good and heal the sorrow.

I change the world by focusing on the light.

July 12

Step by Step

"I had always believed in a Power greater than myself. I had often pondered these things. I was not an atheist. Few people really are, for that means blind faith in the strange proposition that this universe originated in a cipher and aimlessly rushes nowhere. My intellectual heroes, the chemists, the astronomers, even the evolutionists, suggested vast laws and forces at work. Despite contrary indications, I had little doubt that a mighty purpose and rhythm underlay all. How could there be so much of precise and immutable law, and no intelligence? I simply had to believe in a Spirit of the Universe, who knew neither time nor limitation." - Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, Ch 1 ("Bill's Story"), p 10.

Today, if I resist the possibility of a higher power, maybe I can re-frame the question to prove or disprove the possibility. As Bill W. wrote, he maintained - possibly intuitively despite years of alcoholic drinking - a sense of "purpose and rhythm" in spite of "contrary indications." Can I honestly believe the immensity of the entire universe is nothing more than a force of spontaneous elements that collided to produce all that it encompasses? And, realistically, is it by accident or "harmony" that these dynamics maintain a consistency to sustain not only life but the universe itself? To believe that may be a bigger stretch than to acknowledge the possibility of a higher power. How and why the question relates to my recovery, even a hope for one, is simple: if I cannot or will not consider a higher power, or even a higher intelligence, how effective can I be in accepting the program's first step of admitting "(I am) powerless ...?" Today, I'll take a leap of blind faith and believe that if alcohol can be stronger than me, something can be stronger than alcohol. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

BELIEVING

I came; I came to; I came to believe.

~ Anonymous ~

We hear repeatedly that belief is acceptance of truths without proof. We are always tempted to demand proof. God has granted us logic and we think we are expected to use it. And we are, except when it comes to proving God's existence. Then we are expected to act in faith. Many of us began to use our Higher Power before we began to understand it.

Proof is sometimes tricky. For instance, after we hear terrifying stories from those who decide to “go out” and try using again, we don't have to follow their example in order to prove them right or wrong. We can trust their experience.

The only proof we need that the Program works ii to look around at the old-timers in our Fellowship and to listen to their stories of the way it was and the way it is now.

Faith in the recovery power of the Steps keeps me mindful that one of them begins “came to believe.” Unless I maintain my belief and faith in the Steps, I am in danger of suffering a relapse.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

Before talking of holy things, we prepare ourselves by offering... One will fill his pipe and hand it to the other who will light it and offer it to the sky and the earth... They will smoke together... Then we will be ready to talk.

~ Mato-Kuwapi, Santee Yankton Sioux ~

Rituals prepare us for moments of spiritual experience. They bring people together; they mark occasions; they give us metaphors through our senses that expose us to mystery, awe, peace, and wisdom. Traditional spiritual practices all use ritual to reach toward God. In our meetings we also have rituals that accomplish these things.

We may have dismissed ritual in our cynical minds, thinking of it as irrelevant hocus-pocus. But when we seek connection with other people, or with God, we learn that ritual is a way to set our cynical minds aside and open ourselves to the presence. Even in our private time of prayer and meditation, we may light a candle as a sign of our spiritual search.

Today I will honor the rituals that create conscious contact

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

One step at a time may seem too slow some days.

~ Kay Marie Porterfield ~

Impatience is certainly not a virtue. However, we frequently display it as though it were: if we don’t get some task done right now, we will have failed for all time. How many backfired circumstances must we have before we get the message?

When we came into this recovery program, we may have heard that there would always be enough time to accomplish what God intends us to do. Those of us who looked back at failed attempts doubted the truth of this wisdom. But we are coming to believe it now. In time, all the simple messages seem to come true.

The slogans are excellent examples of this. “One day at a time, one step at a time” will never fail us. We will handle whatever comes to us if we follow that advice.

I will accomplish what I need to today, on time, if I let my Higher Power be in charge.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I know that abstinence is critical to my recovery

When I used mood-altering chemicals, I felt as though I was rejecting myself and even rejecting others who wanted to help me. Sometimes I felt weak and out of control because I knew I was hurting myself and couldn't seem to stop.

But when I'm abstinent from chemicals, I still feel stress. At times I get irritable and anxious and don't sleep well. At times I think about using again. It's a struggle. But at least when I'm abstinent, I don't have to feel guilty or ashamed. I feel clearer about my dual recovery. I know I'm doing the right thing. And the struggle is worth it.

When I feel cravings, I will promptly apply the tools of my program to deal with them.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

The day shall not be up so soon as I,
To try the fair adventure of tomorrow.

~ William Shakespeare ~

Somehow, probably because of all the grim business of addiction, we became very rigid. We learned not to trust ourselves, so we became frightened of taking risks. In recovery, we have a chance to re-establish our trust. Using the tools of recovery, we can plan an adventure with confidence. Life without adventure is like a sunset with no colors.

By nature, many of us are controllers. Adventure requires us to give up a little control, and that’s scary. But we can learn to let go. When we make a routine, we can ask ourselves, “Is there another way to do this?” When the chance for adventure comes, we can ask, “Why not?”

We’re healthier every new day we spend in recovery. We’ve replaced sickness with health, insanity with sanity, and desperation with spiritual peace. Using these tools of recovery, adventure can again bring safe fun and excitement to our lives every day.

Today help me try something new. Help me welcome, not fear, adventure.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

It is easier to live through someone else than to become complete yourself.

~ Betty Friedan ~

While recovery is all about relationships—with others in the fellowship, with your sponsor, with your Higher Power, and the one you must build or rebuild with yourself— there are some relationships that should be avoided.

Whether you are new to recovery or have been involved for some time, becoming involved in a romantic relationship can be dangerous to your sobriety and your work in the program. When you first become involved in an intimate relationship, most other relationships get pushed to the back burner. A new romantic interest can provide you with a “rush” of energy that can replicate a “high,” and the relationship may then become your substitute “drug.” Romance can be a detour that may take you away from your much-needed journey of self-discovery.

This does not mean that you can never become intimately involved again. While some suggest people wait between six months or even a year before pursuing romance, it is best to build a strong foundation in the recovery program and with your Higher Power first. Make the choice to reach a point in your recovery in which you feel you can contribute as an equal partner to an intimate relationship.

I will enter the dating scene cautiously, without losing focus on my recovery.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

The highest compact we can make with our fellow is, let there be truth between us two forevermore.

~ Ralph Waldo Emerson ~

When was the last time we told a lie? Do we remember who we lied to and the reason? Did our lying bring us closer to that person, or did it build an invisible wall?

We have chosen to travel on the path of recovery. Because of this, there are certain requirements for our growth and learning. One of them is honesty with ourselves and with others. Il we aren't honest with ourselves, we will suffer because the truth will come out. If we aren't honest with others, we will hinder our ability to grow closer to people. Dishonesty doesn’t make bonds, it breaks them.

We can make amends for our lies. We can "come clean" to those we lied to and tear down the walls. By doing so we will move further along our path of recovery by learning how to build relationships, not break them. Honesty with others builds trust, trust builds love, and love makes life so much better.

Tonight I will promise to get honest with at least one person to whom I have lied. I will learn how to build a better relationship by doing so.

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Knowing our Higher Power

A good understanding of our Higher Power may be necessary for some of us, but we don’t need to get stuck on any image. All we have to do is become willing to believe that a power greater than ourselves will help us get clean and sober.

Electricity works the same after a course in electronics as it did before the course. Likewise, our Higher Power works the same for us before we understand how it operates. It gets down to this simple idea: It’s less important that we understand God than believe God understands us.

Do I have faith in my Higher Power?

Higher Power, help me accept the fact that understanding your ways is less important than believing you are present in my life today.

I will apply my faith in my Higher Power today by

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

Worry, the interest paid by those who borrow trouble.

~ GEORGE WASHINGTON LYON ~

Newcomer

I took a test last week in a course I’ve signed up for at a local college. Immediately afterward, I started worrying about my grade. I had a feeling that the teacher had something against me, and that she might give me a C even though I really deserved a B. I was already planning what I’d say to her. Then I got the test back—with an A on it. I’m having a good laugh about what I put myself through. I feel stupid for having worried so much.

Sponsor

First, congratulations on your hard work. In recovery, we can become more aware of our abilities and honor them. There’s so much we can achieve, with patience and perseverance.

If I’m hearing you correctly, you underrated your ability, you assumed that someone both wished you ill and was going to behave unprofessionally, and you churned up your mind with worry about the future. The mental and emotional energy you put into expecting the worst from yourself and your teacher turned out to have nothing to do with reality. This is what people in Twelve Step programs refer to as “projection”—living in an imagined future instead of the present moment.

When I’m facing something new or difficult, I find that it calms me to pray to my Higher Power for the best possible outcome for all concerned. If we’re not giving our attention to fear, mistrust, low self-esteem, or other negative feelings, we can concentrate on doing our best and turning over the results to a Power greater than ourselves. As with recovery, the rate at which we live all of our lives need only be one day at a time.

Today, I cherish the serenity that comes from cultivating a positive attitude toward myself and toward the eventual outcome of events.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

In all ages men have been bound to each other by the ties of kinship, nationality, mutual attraction and by common ideals and aims. Nowhere, however, is that bond of kinship so strong as among those who share a common danger.

We in AA have a common enemy in Alcohol. It is a constant threat to our happiness, our prosperity, our health and our very lives.

Here lies the reason behind that feeling of "belonging" when you enter the halls of a strange group. Here are your kind of people, fighting your battle against your enemy.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

Thanking You for Little Things

I thank You for the house in which I live,
For the gray roof on which the raindrops slant;
I thank You for a garden and the slim young shoots
That mark the old-fashioned things I plant.

I thank You for a daily task to do,
For books that are my ships with golden wings.
For mighty gifts let others offer praise—
Lord, I thank You for little things.

~ Author unknown ~

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

THE GOSPEL

The student having now gained an understanding of what the Great Law is and how it works, is in a position to take the next great step and understand how it is possible to rise above even the Great Law itself, in the name of the CHRIST.

This does not mean that the laws of the physical or mental planes are broken. It means that man, because of his essential divine selfhood, has the power of rising above these domains into the infinite dimension of Spirit where such laws no longer affect him. The law of reaping what one sows, often called the Law of Karma, is actually law for mind only; it is not law for Spirit. In Spirit all is perfect and eternal, unchanging good.

So man has the choice of Karma or Christ. This is the best news that has ever come to mankind, and for that reason it is called the glad tidings, or the Gospel. Karma turns out to be inexorable only so long as you do not pray. For any given mistake, you must either suffer the consequences, which we call being punished, or wipe them out by the Practice of the Presence of God.

It must not be supposed, however, that the consequences of a mistake are to be cheaply evaded by a perfunctory prayer. Sufficient realization of God to alter fundamentally the character of the sinner is required in order to wipe out the punishment that otherwise must always follow upon sin. When the sinner becomes a changed man, and will not even desire to repeat his sin, then is he saved, for Christ is Lord of Karma.

And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God (Romans 12:2).

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Unseen Help

If you knew who walks beside you, fear would be impossible.

~ A Course in Miracles ~

While visiting a prison, I was required to walk through a series of five thick electronically secured steel doors and gates, connected by a maze of sidewalks and corridors. As I reached each door, I wondered if anyone would be there to guide me and open the door. As if by magic, the moment I approached a door, it was buzzed open electronically. After going through a few doors, I realized I was being watched via remote television cameras. At one point, I made a wrong turn at the intersection of two sidewalks, and I heard a voice call out of nowhere, "You are going the wrong way." I returned to the intersection and stood at the crossroads, puzzled. The voice returned. "Now, just continue in the direction you are facing."

On the path of life, we come up against locked doors and wonder how we will get through and whether anyone is available to help us. As I discovered at the prison, if we are in our right place, the door will be buzzed open; it would have been useless for me to try to open the doors manually. But there was someone watching me who had the power to release the door without struggle on my part.

The same guide will assist us if we take a wrong turn. A voice will call out, "You are going the wrong way." It may not be an external voice we hear, but an internal knowingness. When we return to the intersection and reposition ourselves, the same inner guide will let us know, “Just keep going in the direction you are facing."

Although we do not see our watcher, we are seen and known. On my way out of the jail, I noticed a guard booth adjacent to one of the corridors. The glass windows were heavily tinted so I could not see in, but the guards could see out. While we may be unable to peer into the guidance booth of the universe, those in charge of helping us can see us. We are never alone. Every door will open when we are ready to enter.

I trust You to open locked doors for me. I do not have to fight to do the will of God.

God is watching over me, making my path easy.

July 13

Step by Step

Today, if the responsibility to sobriety sometimes seems overwhelming or too demanding if I fail to do it First Things First, I will not complain or cop the poor-me attitude or blow off steam on anyone or anything. Instead, I'll remember yesterday when I couldn't be trusted with any responsibility because I was too drunk or too hung over. I'll remember gratitude and that my response in the past to "relaxing" robbed me of being trusted with those responsibilities. Today, no complaints, no self-pity, no turning my back on anything I'm asked to do. I'll be grateful that I'm sober to be entrusted with the responsibilities that I have. That's all. It's that simple. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

SURRENDER

I can't . . . God can . . . I think I'll let Him.

~ Anonymous ~

We have all lived with the idea we could do anything. We have seen spaceships sent to outer planets. We can send a letter over a phone line. How, then, do we come to terms with our limitations? How do we teach ourselves to say, “I can't”? Where do we learn to trust our limitations and believe that God can take us places we cannot take ourselves?

Our Program tells us to stop trying to manage the world. We will never be all things to all people. Our whole trouble was the misuse of will power. When we lower our expectations, we are not setting our sights on lower goals. We are surrendering ourselves to our Higher Power. We are asking help to be better than we are.

I need to remember that "surrender" doesn't mean "give up." It means admitting to my Higher Power that I need help to reach my goals.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

I don’t ask for the meaning of the song of a bird or the rising of the sun on a misty morning. There they are, and they are beautiful

~ Pete Hamill ~

Nature is the mystical, spiritual miracle present all around us every day. A walk in the woods or a hike in a park provides us with abundant evidence that we are part of something much bigger than ourselves. No one sent the bird to sing its song; no person designed a tree and planned its leaves to come forth. They are just doing their own thing. Our whole world is generously decorated by spontaneous beauty, and our senses take them in at no cost.

When we feel burdened by our problems and when we are too focused on ourselves, a walk outdoors will surely lighten the load. We can feel the wind in our face, look up at the sky and see the big and ever- changing heavens, or lie on the ground and feel the support of the earth. It is always a good practice to turn to the natural world when we feel the need for spiritual refreshment.

Today I will get outside myself by noticing the eternal world of nature.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

We seem to help center each other as our lives travel parallel paths.

~ Robyn Halsema ~

We are walking in concert with many other people. It is not an accident that we have been drawn into the lives of the men and women who surround us. Our destinies are entwined. We have the opportunity to learn from one another, to help one another, and to grow in our trust that there are no accidents in this God-filled world.

Some days we may fear the circumstances edging toward us. We may doubt that the people Involved have our best interests at heart. At those times we need to look to our precious relationships for strength and courage. Just as our friends are with us by design, so are the circumstances from which we will learn our much-needed lessons.

We are never alone. Our friends are only a call away. Our Higher Power is at our service. The love surrounding us centers us and makes us whole and strong and serene.

I rejoice in the knowledge that my loved ones are here by design. My fears will diminish when I am in the company of my friends and God.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I now have a spiritual life thanks to my illnesses

Had I been given a choice about experiencing addiction and emotional illness, no doubt I would have declined. It is painful even to think about what I've gone through to reach this stage in recovery.

But through my no-fault illnesses (and because I am accepting them more and more), two wonderful changes are in process: (a) As I begin to care for my own physical and emotional needs in a healthy way, I find myself caring more about other people. (b) I am developing a relationship with a higher power and becoming a more spiritual person. For these surprising new changes, I am profoundly grateful.

Today I will compose a prayer or draw a picture that acknowledges my process and progress in recovery.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

Trouble is a part of life, and if you don’t share it, you don’t give the person who loves you a chance to love you enough.

~ Dinah Shore ~

Just as gravity keeps us grounded and connected to the earth, our fellowship keeps us bound to sobriety. The fellowship available to us in our Twelve Step program keeps us in reality. A problem pondered in isolation seems immense; the same problem shared by those who truly understand is manageable. We need other people from the moment we are born. We need to be included, to feel we’re a part of something larger than ourselves. Our spirits hunger for contact from others, and thirst for a relationship with God.

Our fellowship is there, a warm, friendly, and accepting family. Our Higher Power loves us. We are not alone, no matter where we travel, no matter how large our problems seem at the moment. Our joys are doubled and our sadness diminished through the sharing of our hearts.

Today help me listen carefully and give as well as take so I may fully experience this gift of fellowship.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

The Fox without a Tail

One day a fox became caught in a trap. In his struggle to free himself, he left his tail behind. On his way home, he devised a way to head off being made the butt of jokes. He trotted back into the forest and called together all of the foxes.

“Foxes are much more attractive when they do not have a tail,” he said as he wiggled his stump. “Observe how sleek my appearance is. No longer will I have to pull burrs out of my tail. I am free—and you can all be free, too! It is time for all foxes to cut off their tails.”

“Nonsense!” an elder fox yelled out. “If you had not lost your own tail, my friend, you would not be urging us to lose ours as well. You must deal with your loss on your own.”

The moral of the story: Do not trust all of the advice given by others.

Many in the program offer helpful support based on their experience. There are also those who give advice. Sometimes this advice is well-meaning and useful; other times it may seem suspect. Listen to the support, guidance, and advice you are given. But never let such information have a negative impact on your recovery.

I will listen to the advice I am given, but will make decisions that are right for me.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

When I hear somebody sigh, “Life is hard," I am always tempted to ash, "Compared to what?"

~ Sydney J. Harris ~

We've probably heard all the negative quotations about life. There was also probably a time when we believed them all. Based on the state of our lives at the time, it was probably no surprise that life was difficult and brutal.

Certainly there are many things in life that are harsh and cruel—we see such things in the paper every day. But there are some very wonderful things, too. It's just that we've been conditioned to believe the horrors instead of the wonders.

Today may have been a long, tiring, boring day. But that doesn't mean all days are long, tiring, and boring. There's much good in life that we can see if we let ourselves. We can get off our "life-is-difficult” soapbox and hear the humor, see the smiles, and feel the caring. Life may be difficult at times, but it is also quite fulfilling.

I need to feel that life is good tonight. What event happened today that I can feel good about? Who did I see today that made me feel good?

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Recognizing opportunities

Today is a day of opportunity. Any experiences that we have today—good or bad—can be seen as opportunities, opportunities to grow closer to God.

As bread is food for the body, opportunities are food for the soul.

Do I see all the opportunities in my daily life? Do I take advantage of them?

I pray that I may use my experiences as opportunities to grow closer to God.

Today I will look for opportunities by

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

All things are connected like the blood which unites one family. All things are connected.

~ CHIEF SEATTLE ~

Newcomer

I was in such a foul mood at the last meeting I went to. I sat there gritting my teeth through the whole meeting, glaring at the speaker and at anyone who had the nerve to look at me. Here’s the strange part: I felt better after the meeting anyway. I ate with a friend and laughed at myself a little. Today everything looks different. Meetings look good to me again.

Sponsor

One of the greatest gifts of recovery is simply that meetings exist and that we go to them. We may be annoyed with everyone in the room, holding on to a foul mood for dear life, and at the same time experience deep healing.

The healing comes from a sense of belonging to a community of people in recovery. Even if I’m out of sync with everyone in the room on a given day, I’m still part of a process that includes them and that is larger than all of us. Whatever moods I go through, whatever resistance I let others see, no one will try to take away my seat in recovery. Often, when I’m expecting disapproval or rejection, I’m met with compassion or sympathetic laughter instead. It’s what we mean by unconditional love. Even on the days when I can’t see the love that’s there, my sense that I’m somehow being held by this program is growing.

Today, it strengthens me to know that I belong to a community of people in recovery.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

We alcoholics devoted a whole lifetime to the pursuit of happiness, but it was not until we found our fellowship that we had any success of a permanent nature.

This is a happy Program, made so by our happy release from the Hell of drinking excessively. Our happiness distinguishes us from the dried-up drunk.

The work we are about is dead serious, but we can go about it with a smile in our hearts and a laugh on our lips. Of all God's creatures we really have something to be happy about.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

Happiness Prayer from West Africa

I am happy because You have accepted me, dear God.
Sometimes I do not know what to do with all my happiness.
I swim in Your grace like a whale in the ocean
The saying goes "The ocean never dries up," but we know Your love also never fails.
Dear Lord, Your love is my happiness.

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

COMING OF AGE

If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children, how much more shall your Father which is in heaven give good things to them that ask Him? (Matthew 7:1 1).

We are the children of God; and if children, then sons, and joint heirs with Jesus Christ, as Paul says. At the present time we find ourselves full of limitations and disabilities because we are spiritually but children—minors. Children are irresponsible, lacking in wisdom and experience, and have to be kept under control lest their mistakes should entail serious consequences to themselves.

. . . That the heir, as long as he is a child, differeth nothing from a servant, though he be loved by all;

But is under tutors and governors . . . (Galatians 4:1).

But when the fullness of time is come, he realizes that it is the voice of God Himself that is in his heart, making him cry: "Abba Father." Then at last he knows that he is the son of a great king, and that all his Father has is his for the using, whether it be health, or supply, or opportunity, or beauty, or joy, or any other of the thoughts of God.

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Listen

Do you know why we have two ears and one mouth?
We are supposed to listen twice as much as we talk.

~ Anonymous ~

A successful psychiatrist saw eight patients a day and obtained excellent results. Each patient would walk out of his office with a smile and give the doctor a warm handshake. Many observers speculated on the secret of his success, but only his secretary knew it. At the end of each day, he would call her on the intercom and tell her, "Okay, Cindy, you can bring me my hearing aid now."

The only talent more effective than being a good speaker is to be a good listener. Most people are ready to offer advice, but few are willing or able to listen. Real listening is an art and a skill. Cultivate your ability to be fully present with someone who sincerely shares about their life, and you will be the best friend this person has.

In my seminars, I lead an exercise in which one partner speaks for five minutes, and the other simply listens. The speakers are instructed to express what they feel in their heart, and the listeners are instructed to listen without interrupting, giving advice, or telling their own story. Often the listeners receive more from the exercise than the speakers. They report that they feel relieved and refreshed not to have to respond with advice or feedback, and as a result, they were able to pay more attention to the speaker and feel with them as they shared, one speaker, elated, reported, "This is the first time in 20 years of marriage my wife heard me out!"

To truly bless your friends is much simpler than you may have thought. More than anything else, they would probably appreciate your undivided attention. Give the man open ear, and you will bless yourself as well.

Help me to be there for my friends in the highest and most helpful way.

I listen with my heart and hear myself it.

July 14

Step by Step

"As we look back, we feel we had gone on drinking many years beyond the point where we could quit on our will power. If anyone questions whether he has entered this dangerous area, let him try leaving liquor alone for one year. If he is a real alcoholic and very far advanced, there is scant chance of success. In the early days of our drinking, we occasionally remained sober for a year or more, becoming serious drinkers again later. Though you may be able to stop for a considerable period, you may yet be a potential alcoholic." - Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, Ch 3 ("More About Alcoholism"), p 34.

Today - the AA challenge. If hangovers, the morning drink to calm a churning stomach and shakes, if warnings from the spouse, partner or employer and if high liver enzymes aren't enough to clue me that I might have a problem with alcohol, I'll take the AA challenge and give up drinking for a year. It would be a monumental achievement considering I probably can't remember when I went that long without a drink after I started. And if I don't make it ...how about a piece of humble pie with a couple of side dishes of honesty and determination "to go to any lengths" to recover? Likewise, even if I am in recovery and it's been a few years since my last drink, what are the odds that I can start drinking responsibly again? Rhetorical question. Today, I set out on the AA challenge to go it alcohol-free for a year ...one day at a time. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

NO FREE RIDE

The elevator is broken; use the Steps.

~ Anonymous ~

Elevators are easy. We push a button and we go right to the top. The way is fast, quick, and silent. We don't work up a sweat. We don't get out of breath. We can't trip and fall. There is not much time to communicate with anyone else along the way so we don't have to use any effort or thought. We can day dream as we face the front of the car and stare at the numbers as they change from floor to floor.

Then the elevator breaks and we crash to the ground. Those of us who survive are told to take the Steps to get where we want to go. Our addictions were our elevators out of living. The chemical highs we experienced were just like an elevator ride. Until we crashed.

I will sometimes sweat, stumble, get out of breath in my climb, but I'll take the time to talk with and learn from others who are taking the Steps with me.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

How much more grievous are the consequences of anger than the causes of it.

~ Marcus Aurelius ~

Anger shatters our calm. Some of us show it in loud bursts; others just quietly stew. Sometimes we feel angry inside but we still want to look kind and unperturbed, so our anger comes out sideways, hurting someone indirectly or in sneaky ways. We all have felt the pangs of regret after we said or did something in anger. We wish we could magically turn back the clock and undo the moment, gather up the pieces, and put them back together again.

No one can simply banish the basic human emotion of anger from his life. To be responsible, we must accept our anger. It arises from within us and handling it is our own responsibility, even when we are perfectly justified in feeling angry. We choose our way to express it. It is never responsible to say, “You made me angry, so it’s your fault that I blew up.”

After accepting our anger we strive to develop a space between the feeling and our actions. We learn to notice our feelings before they reach the explosion point. In that mental space we choose how to express them.

Today I will notice and accept my anger, then choose respectful ways to express it.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

Thank God my future isn’t what it used to be.

~ Jill Clark ~

Most of us were on our way to an awful destination, and it’s doubtful that we realized it at the time. In fact, we probably were satisfied with the direction we’d headed in and fiercely fought the forces that moved us off our chosen path. Fortunately, we lost the battle. In the process we gained this life, but it has taken time for us to understand how lucky we are to have been “saved.”

God’s grace has blessed us. We can call it “luck” or “karma” or “good planning” or an “accident,” but we hear those in recovery calling it grace. We know that they are right. Something intervened and changed the course of our lives.

We may not yet know just what our new direction is, but we can be certain that if we listen to the still, small voice within, we’ll understand the meaning of the grace that’s been bestowed on us.

My future is special. Today I’ll be shown what I need to know for living the next twenty-four hours.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I want to show my gratitude with service

Not long ago it was all I could do to get out of bed. I was angry at the world for my dual disorder. Everything seemed to be going wrong. I was grateful to no one and nothing.

Since getting into the Twelve Step program, however, I am doing and feeling much better. Slowly my program has led me to acceptance and abstinence. It has even helped me to get psychiatrically stable. I feel such fullness and gratitude these days that I want to share it. I want to give back some of what I've been given. I want to help others feel better, too.

I will express my gratitude for the program and my home group and humbly offer to be of service.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

No man really becomes a fool until he stops asking questions.

~ Charles P. Steinmetz ~

We often pass up the chance to ask a question of someone because we don’t want to feel stupid. In the past, we kept very busy trying to look like we were in control; trying to seem as though we already knew what we needed to know. Now, in our new awareness that we can’t live life alone, there is much we need to ask. We can learn a lot from children in this area. They are so wonderfully free of inhibitions when it comes to asking questions, and as a result, they learn. Their world expands.

We understand ourselves and others better when we ask questions, when we seek out new knowledge. We haven’t experienced, studied, read about, or heard everything there is to know, so we have many questions, especially in the area of recovery. Now we know we can go ahead and ask, that it’s okay, that the answer may help improve the quality of our lives. The more we search, the more we will learn, and the more serenity we will find. Like children, our minds are hungry for knowledge.

Today help me ask questions without worrying about looking foolish, and respond to questions in the most helpful way I can.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

I am in that temper that if I were under water I would scarcely kick to come to the top.

~ John Keats ~

Everyone gets the blues or feels down from time to time. But if you feel down or blue on most days and have felt this way for an extended period of time, you may be suffering from depression.

It may bring you comfort to know that depression is quite common among alcoholics and drug abusers— both during their addiction as well as in their recovery. Common symptoms include such things as finding little enjoyment in life, even with those things or people that used to bring you pleasure; having trouble sleeping at night or getting out of bed in the morning; having a general disinterest in anything; experiencing a significant weight loss or gain; feeling intense fatigue and a general disconnection from yourself; experiencing feelings of sadness that do not go away; or having suicidal thoughts, f Even if you discover from this assessment that you are experiencing few or none of these symptoms and just feel clown from time to time, it is still a good idea to talk with II therapist. A mental health professional can provide help for how you are feeling and also become a valuable member of your recovery support network.

I will utilize all of the resources available to me so I can better understand how I am feeling.

**************************************************

~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

There is a divine plan of good at work in my life. I will let go and let it unfold.

~ Ruth P. Freedman ~

There is a lesson to be learned from each person we meet. Our contact, however brief, has happened for some reason. We may feel as if we are part of a play, especially when we meet someone at a particularly meaningful time. Maybe we were laid off from work and for some reason attended a meeting in a different town and sat next to an employer looking for someone with our qualifications.

Yet we may question the meaning behind meeting those who leave us with pain and heartache. We may wonder at the lessons to be learned from those who may treat us badly. Not all the lessons are easy, nor do all our contacts feel wonderful. But there is a purpose that can be seen after the healing of time. We'll always meet new people, just as we'll always be learning. These things we can trust are in the hands of our Higher Power.

Tonight, I will trust that my life is lit by goodness and that all people and events can add to my light.

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Lacking power over others

When we look closely at our lives, we may realize that we have little power over others (as shocking as that may seem). Yet often our arrogance gets so blown out of proportion that we think our actions can get people high or keep them straight! Think of that!

We are so important to ourselves, we begin to think that we are that important to others. We seldom see that our affairs have about as much weight with others as theirs do with us—and that is often little.

Do I realize that I can manage no one?

Higher Power, help me realize that my power over others is actually slight and protect me from my own arrogance.

If I find myself trying to manage others today, I will

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

**************************************************

~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

Day is short as ever; time’s as long as it has been.

~ GEECHEE PROVERB ~

Newcomer

A change in my work schedule means I can’t go to my regular meeting anymore. By the time I’d be able to get there, only half an hour would be left. It’s not worth it.

Sponsor

Once, when I was visiting another city, a friend and I drove all over in the rain looking for a meeting we’d heard about. We were in unfamiliar territory, and finding the street address took us over an hour. We talked, meanwhile, about our lives and our recovery; it was good sharing. At last we parked and found the meeting place. We realized that we’d walked in at the end, just as everyone was joining hands. We looked at one another and laughed, joined the circle, and said the Serenity Prayer with a roomful of recovering strangers. They seemed happy to let us join in. We’d all stayed sober for another day.

Yes, it’s important to go to whole meetings; whole meetings are essential to recovery. But if, under special circumstances, the only meeting we can get to is part of a meeting, we do it. Skipping meetings where we can connect with other recovering people, especially those who’ve begun to get to know us, can compound feelings of isolation. It spells danger for our recovery.

In this day of recovery, whatever I do, I do with all my attention.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

It is most fortunate for us arrested alcoholics that we can never know the price we paid for our former dissipations.

One man received a splendid promotion about a month ago, and was told that his name had been considered for the job for fourteen years but that it had been held up because of his drinking.

There is no use in crying over spilt milk—those days are gone forever and carried their opportunities with them—but today is here now.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

For Guidance

Father of light,
Give us wisdom to know You,
Intelligence to understand You,
Courage to seek You,
Patience to wait for You
Eyes to see You,
A heart to meditate on You,
And a life to proclaim You.

~ by St. Benedict ~

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

GUIDED WISDOM

Give not that which is holy unto the dogs, neither cast ye your pearls before swine, lest they trample them under their feet, and turn again and rend you (Matthew 7:6).

Intelligence is just as essential a part of the Christian message as is love. God is love, but God is also infinite intelligence, and unless these two qualities are balanced in our lives, we do not get wisdom; for wisdom is the perfect blending of intelligence and love. Love with, out intelligence may do much undesigned harm—and intelligence without love may ultimate in clever cruelty. All true Christian activity will express wisdom.

Never rely upon your own judgment to say who is ready for the Truth and who is not, but rely for guidance upon the inspiration of the Holy Spirit. If you are praying regularly every day for wisdom, and fresh opportunities for service, the right people will be brought to you.

Remember that those with whom you associate closely will have your personal conduct under constant inspection. The quickest way to spread the Truth is by living the life yourself. Then people will notice the change in you and they will come round of their own accord, begging to share your secret.

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Table with a View

Make love now, by night and by day, in winter and in summer… You are in the world for that and the rest of life is nothing but vanity, illusion, waste. There is only one science, love, one riches, love, only one policy, love. To make love is all the law and the Prophets.

~ Anatole France ~

"Excuse me, sir, we are going to need this spot," a deep voice awakened me from my sunset reverie. I looked up and saw a young man wearing black tuxedo trousers and a short white waiter's jacket, setting up a dinner table on the grassy hill. He and an assistant laid out elegant white linen and cutlery befitting a fine restaurant.

"Is there some party happening?" I asked.

"It's a wedding anniversary."

"How many people are you preparing for?"

“Two. It’s the couple’s 25th anniversary. The husband is surprising his wife with a private catered dinner overlooking the beach.”

In just a few hours on a verdant knoll overlooking a Maui beach, a happy woman would have the surprise of her life. As she and her husband would be strolling along casually, he would suggest, "Why don't we rest here, honey?" she would sit, perplexed, as a gourmet restaurant crew would emerge from behind the bushes and serve them a meal fit for a king and his queen, before one of the most spectacular backdrops on the planet.

Let’s hear it for romance. Passion is a very holy thing. It is the very juice of life—the electricity that sparks all growth, achievement, and expression. Passion is the hand of God reaching into humanity to animate it to divinity.

Today, put some romance in to your life. If you’re in a relationship, surprise your beloved with a gift that you know will make him or her happy. And if you’re in relationship with yourself, give yourself flowers, get a massage, or do something for yourself that a lover would give you. Don’t miss a moment of the adventure of life. Make love now.

I will celebrate all the gifts You have created for my happiness.

The universe is my palette. I paint a glorious picture and step into it.

July 15

Step by Step

" ...(T)he actual or potential alcoholic, with hardly an exception, will be absolutely unable to stop drinking on the basis of self-knowledge. This is a point we wish to emphasize and re-emphasize, to smash home upon our alcoholic readers as it has been revealed to us out of bitter experience." - Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, Ch 3 ("More About Alcoholism"), p 39.

Today, the experience - "unable to stop drinking on the basis of self-knowledge" - serves as an omen that I cannot continue to drink even though I may still have some power to abstain for even long periods of time. But eventually that ability to abstain will be gone. Noting that the text of the program speaks not only to the alcoholic but also to the potential one, I must give up any egotistical thoughts that I am the exception to it. "Self-knowledge" did little to spare me the ravages of full alcoholism. Today, pray that I listen to the knowledge of others. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

PREJUDICE

There is a principle which is a bar against all information, . . . and which cannot fail to keep [us] in everlasting ignorance-—that principle is contempt prior to investigation.

~ Herbert Spencer ~

When we were introduced to the Program, we were full of prejudices. We thought the members were some sort of religious cult, that they were a bunch of freaks, that they were self-righteous quitters who just couldn't handle their use, that they didn't know what they were talking about, that they couldn't possibly have had the problems we had because they all looked so happy.

Then the members started to speak. What they said and how they said it showed us immediately that we had prejudged them. They were spiritual, not religious; they had been where we were; they knew what they were talking about: they still had problems, but they were handling them. We began to want what they had. Our prejudices began to be removed.

I am learning to wait and see what the truth is, instead of relying on old ideas and prejudices I once held.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

We haven’t needed to direct our minds consciously all that much until now, and we haven’t really understood the delicacy and absolute necessity of doing so— until now.

~ Robert Ornstein ~

When we are highly alert to this very moment and we feel the importance of focusing our conscious minds, we are in a spiritual space. Our spiritual development grows along these lines—we become more and more skilled at centering our senses and our consciousness in this moment. This is how our calmness and serenity grow.

We know that our health and survival depend upon our spiritual growth. It is urgent for us, and for those that we love, that we become better, more serene men. We can practice this by always being mindful of the concrete truths around us, and by doing just one thing at a time. When we eat, we are aware of the flavors and textures of our food. When we wash the dishes, we focus our mind on just washing the dishes. Multitasking does not advance our spiritual growth or serenity. Calmness comes when we focus our minds and allow all distractions to fall away.

Today is the day I am alive, and in this day I will practice focusing my consciousness.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

Before a geographical change can improve your life, you need to leave old thoughts and habits behind or you’ll have the same problems in a new town.

~ Anne Marie Nelson ~

We can’t escape ourselves. Who we are tags along wherever we go. A spiteful attitude follows us to a new location. Self-pity doesn’t leave us just because we change jobs. And our expectation of failure won’t die just because we end a relationship. However, we can change our attitude, we can free ourselves of self-pity, and we can expect success when we take charge of who we are. Changing our external world can’t do it. Changing our internal world guarantees it.

But aren’t we simply who we are? How many times have we said, or heard others say, “That’s just who I am,” as though all hope of being different is out of the question? While it is true that we are who we are, who we want to be is always in our control. We have the power to change any aspect of our character.

My old habits have been discarded. I have no reason to pick them up today. The new me is here.

My few close, lasting friends are precious to me.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I am getting honest

I couldn’t face my dual disorder at first, it was too confusing and threatening. I denied it to myself and to others. For example, I kept using street drugs, even when I was first in treatment, to reduce my psychological and psychiatric symptoms.

But having made a commitment to recovery I am coming to see how much it can help when I admit my weaknesses, my liabilities, to myself. It leaves me open to change. And when I tell another person about these liabilities, I find out that I am still OK, that I'm not a bad person after all. When I am honest and open, I no longer feel so alone. Instead, I feel forgiven and accepted.

I will use my journal and write down two secrets about myself that I haven't told anyone yet.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

I walked a mile with Sorrow,
And ne’er a word said she;
But, Oh, the things I learned from her
When Sorrow walked with me!

~ Robert Browning Hamilton ~

We may think that forgetting the past is essential for growth and peace of mind. It’s a tempting idea: we’ll start over again, we think, fresh and new. But if we lose that old pain, we’ll also lose all that we learned. We may repeat our mistakes, or make even worse ones next time. Dwelling on the past is equally dangerous. We began recovery to build a better life.

To find and maintain our balance, each area of our lives needs attention. A healthy mind in a healthy body is free to find God. And, with God’s help, we can learn to recognize and forgive our past mistakes, while we keep the remarkable lessons we learned from life.

With our remembering, with our inventory, we can truly experience the repentance that frees us from regret and remorse. When we acknowledge our mistakes, we can learn from them and come to forgive ourselves.

Today help me use my memories to learn and change. Help me to forgive my past.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

We’ve removed the ceiling above our dreams. There are no more impossible dreams.

~ Jesse Jackson ~

There are “if only” dreams in life and “what if” dreams. When you were using, your dreams were most likely “if onlys,” such as “If only I didn’t spend so much money gambling, I would be able to go away on vacation” or “If only I didn’t drink, I would be spending more time with my partner and kids.”

“If only” dreams are based upon regret and fault-finding. They are perfect mechanisms for self-blame—a sure-fire method for ensuring your dreams cannot come true.

“What if” dreams, on the other hand, are based upon possibilities and hope for the future. They focus on the things you want to do and will do to make a dream come true. “What if I saved a little bit of money each week— then I could go away for a weekend” or “What if I set aside one night during the week and one weekend afternoon to spend time with my kids—then we could get to know each other better.” When you think of your dreams as “what ifs,” you free them of any limitations. You make yourself an active participant in making them happen.

I will dream, and then I will act upon these dreams to make them happen.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

It was like a revelation to me, taking complete responsibility for one's own actions.

~ Cary Grant ~

All our lives we may have looked for someone to take care of us. This may have begun with our parents, then continued when we formed relationships. We may have found life was easier when someone else took responsibility for our finances, obligations, and emotional health. Whenever someone left us, we may have quickly latched onto someone new so we didn’t have to feel the burden of taking responsibility.

The program teaches us that we are the only ones who can take care of us. After entering the program we may feel like we're suddenly stripped bare, vulnerable to the whole world of responsibility: bill paying, social obligations, career decisions, health, and fitness.

We may not know all we need to know about taking responsibility for ourselves, but we're learning. Every time we do something on our own, for ourselves, we are that much closer to responsible living.

I can take responsibility for many parts of my life. When I don't know how to do something I can ask for help from others.

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Paying for freedom

Henry David Thoreau said, “The cost of a thing is the amount of what I will call life which is required to be exchanged for it, immediately or in the long run.” The price we paid for using alcohol and other drugs was our freedom. We finally realized that it costs too much to feel oblivious. The price became so high that we could no longer barter with mood-altering chemicals for our time and freedom. The chemicals had absolute control.

Unless we wake up and pay the price for freedom—which is spiritual growth—we will be a slave to chemicals until death. But if we turn our lives over to God, all the liberty we need is made available to us.

Am I paying the right price for my freedom?

Higher Power, help me always to remember that the cost of using chemicals in my life is much too high.

Today I will pay for greater freedom by

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

Life is not an easy thing to embrace, like trying to hug an elephant.

~ DIANE WAKOSKI ~

Newcomer

I sat through a meeting today in anger. It started when I walked in and saw who was up there speaking—someone I know and don’t trust. She did everything her way and I didn’t hear much program, at least as I know it. I feel ashamed of having that reaction, especially at this point in recovery, but that’s how I felt.

Sponsor

Thanks for your honesty. Most of us in recovery have strong feelings of resistance at one time or another. I’ve certainly experienced the kind you’re talking about. Sometimes we all want what we want when we want it.

Recovery doesn’t always come wrapped in the package I was hoping for. I blame my negative mood on other people in the room. I start taking inventory of others, and no one sounds sober enough for me.

As in any group of people, there are some we relate to with more ease, others with more difficulty. Over time, as we let go of criticism, our acceptance of others helps us to accept our whole selves.

Today, I see myself in others. I look and listen with compassion.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

Suspicion, and its first cousin, jealousy, are the world's most bitter poisons. They are compounded from surmise, rumor, and malicious gossip and are mixed in the retort of confused and unsure minds.

They serve no useful purpose on earth, but they torture all who possess them, It is much better for a person to have his worst fears justified than to live with unproven suspicions.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

Teach Me

Dear God, teach me to listen to Your many blessings.
Steer my life toward Your will and the tranquil haven You provide for all storm-tossed souls.
Show me the course I should take.
Renew a willing spirit within me.
Let Your spirit curb my wayward senses.
Enable me unto that which is my true good, to keep Your laws and, in all my works, to rejoice in Your glorious presence.

~ Adapted from writings by St. Basil the Great ~

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

CHILDREN OF THE MOST HIGH

Read Matthew 7:7-11.

This is the wonderful passage in which Jesus enunciates the primary truth of the Fatherhood of God. He says here, definitely and clearly, that the real relationship of God and man is that of parent and child. It is extremely difficult to realize the far-reaching importance that this declaration holds for the life of the soul.

It is axiomatic, of course, that the offspring must be of the same nature and species as the parent; and so if God and man are indeed Father and child, man must be essentially divine too, and susceptible of infinite development up the rising pathway of divinity. That is to say, as man's true nature unfolds, he will expand in spiritual consciousness until he has transcended all bounds of human imagination. It is in reference to our glorious destiny, that Jesus himself says elsewhere, quoting the older scriptures:

Jesus answered them, Is it not written in your law, I said, Ye are gods?

If he called them gods, unto whom the word of God come, and the scripture cannot be broken . . . (John 10:34-35).

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Easy Way Out

Teach only love, for that is what you are.

~ A Course in Miracles ~

I saw a news story about a woman named Elsa who had been held hostage by an escaped criminal. Robert, a man fleeing from the police, broke into Elsa's country home and held her captive at gunpoint while a large SWAT team surrounded her home with an arsenal of firearms. Fortunately, Elsa was a psychologist, and she applied her listening skills to her interactions with this man. Over the two days that Robert occupied her home, Elsa did her best not to panic, and invited him to speak of the pain in his life. Quickly, she recognized that he was like a frightened beast trying to escape from his own wounds. She showed him kindness and cooked for him. As a result of their conversations, Robert calmed down and turned himself in, leaving her unharmed. When he was being tried, Elsa testified on his behalf stating that he was acting out of fear and desperation. When Robert went to prison, Elsa visited him, and when he got out, she became his friend, a compassionate listener. Both Elsa and Robert reported that although their initial encounter was extremely dangerous for both of them, they felt grateful that they had dealt with it as they had.

The choice for peace is always empowering. When we refuse to give in to fear, we are able to see solutions that we would miss in hysteria. Any situation can lead to great pain or great freedom, depending on how we handle it. Even a hardened criminal can be healed and corrected with the touch of love. Practice being kind in situations where you are tempted to panic; that is how to become a true miracle worker.

Help me to remember that love works better than fear.

I can find the heart of anyone I seek to reach.

July 16

Step by Step

"It would be hard to estimate how much AA has done for me. I really wanted the program, and I wanted to go along with it. I noticed that the others seemed to have such a release, a happiness, a something that I thought a person ought to have. I was trying to find the answer." - Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, Part I ("Personal Stories"), (1), p 191.

Today, grant me the common sense to realize the answer I seek to questions about recovery and life in general is no farther away than the text and program of AA. This here, in its proper context, is that the answer is the spiritual foundation on which recovery must be cemented. Paraphrasing the quote, "I was raised in religion but born of the spirit," let me understand that I must surrender on blind faith if I still struggle with the program's concept of higher power and spirituality. But if I still require some logical argument that a stronger power for good exists, can I not say that something stronger and better exists if alcohol and its destructive power also exist? Today, any answer I seek is here, and I am here in the now. I need look no farther. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

ACCEPTANCE

The 12 Step way of life is accepting, not necessarily passive.

~ Anonymous ~

When we accept life on life's terms, we are acknowledging reality. We have all, on occasion, run from the truth. When we were in a situation that frightened us, we would turn tail and run. We would do our imitation of an ostrich and stick our heads in the sand, pretending the situation didn't exist and was not happening.

When we accept something, we are not passively taking it in. We are ready to work through and toward our new awareness. But we can't do anything at all unless we accept it as a reality.

We know what it's like to run from our disease. We tried to prove it was anything and everything but addiction. We tried to prove it was caused by something wrong in our lives, our jobs, our family, our childhood, our relationships, even the weather. After we ran out of excuses, we finally accepted our disease.

My acceptance of my addiction is not passive, but based in reality and truth.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

The trouble with not having a goal is that you can spend your life running up and down the field and never scoring.

~ Bill Copeland ~

We all have goals. Some of them are implicit or even beneath our conscious awareness. Some of us have very clear goals that we have spelled out for ourselves. Perhaps we are seeking to hold a certain job some day. Maybe we have the goal of saving money for our children’s college fund. Another goal might be to complete a particular next Step in our recovery program.

It helps to spell out a few goals that we truly want to accomplish. Sitting down and writing just a few goals helps us find direction. That kind of list is best when it is kept short, limited to a few things we sincerely care about. Then we have a focus to inform our small and large daily decisions.

Today I will think about my goals so that I can be clearer about how to achieve them.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

If I want to feel better, I need to tell someone how I feel. If a friend in recovery asks me how I am, I answer honestly. Something special occurs. We are kindred spirits.

~ Marianne Lunde ~

We have a choice. We can isolate ourselves with our problems and remain stuck in their pain, or we can share with a friend or a sponsor what’s troubling us and as a result experience serenity.

When we were using, we withdrew from the world, hiding the thoughts and feelings that haunted us. Dwelling in the scary places all alone, we felt even more distant and alienated from the very people who might have helped us discover some peace.

At last those days are over. We are on this journey together, and we will help one another find the joy we deserve. We have only two assignments today or any day: one is to share honestly, openly, and lovingly with someone else who we really are; the other is to listen with a caring heart as another woman shares her story. Both of us will discover a peacefulness that neither of us has felt before.

It is my choice today whether to stay isolated and sick or to reach out and help two people: me and a sister in need. Help me, God, to want to help my sister.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I am working to keep my faith

I've been taking my medication and going to support meetings long enough to feel better. I do feel better, but I still have strong symptoms from time to time. Now my doctor wants me to try another medication—with, of course, a new regimen and new side effects. These days I feel very weary. At times I feel lost.

And yet I know I am not alone' I have a home. I have my dual recovery program and for that I am grateful. It reminds me that I didn’t cause these illnesses and I can't cure them. It encourages me to keep doing the good things I've been doing. My higher power and my program have brought me this far; I trust that they will carry me further.

I will list two improvements I've made in recovery and ask my sponsor for support with my meds.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

We are betrayed by what is false within.

~ George Meredith ~

From the beginning of our lives we were taught to control ourselves. We were taught to be strong, not to cry, and not to show others how we feel. We became false, to others and to ourselves.

But today, in recovery, we can unlearn all those teachings. Recovery demands that we let our feelings out, be honest, and share our fears. We have to let go of our old ways. Just as we learned our old lessons well, we are capable of unlearning and replacing them with our program.

We have the tools and support to learn a new, honest way of living. We can learn to recognize dishonesty. Our minds are clear again. We can finally be honest, inside and out. With nothing to hide, we can safely share our deepest secrets, our darkest fears. We can get in touch with who we really are, secure in the knowledge that our Higher Power will help us find the strength we need to change. Now, we can become real.

Today help me learn a new way of life, one day at a time.

**************************************************

~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

I don’t believe in ageing. I believe in forever altering one’s aspect to the sun. Hence my optimism.

~ Virginia Woolf ~

You may have joined the program at a more mature age than most of the people you see at meetings. You may even question why, at your age, you are in a program of recovery.

Yet no matter what your chronological age, it is important to be willing to change and to never lose your dedication to that commitment. At those times when you doubt whether you belong in the program, think of all of those years in which you were miserable. Reflect on all of the things and people you lost from your life because of your addiction. Consider your current state of health and how drugs and alcohol ate away at your body and mind. And think about how hopeless and disconnected you once were from a spiritual life.

Recovery offers hope for a better life for anyone of any age. It does not matter if this better life for you consists of one day, one year, or several years. The peace and serenity that comes from being clean and sober can make a huge difference in your life.

I am older than most of those I meet in recovery. But I am growing younger in mind, body, and spirit each day.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

When something does not insist on being noticed, when we aren't grabbed by the collar or struck on the skull by a presence or an event, we take for granted the very things that most deserve our gratitude.

~ Cynthia Ozick ~

Was today an ordinary day, one filled with the usual events, the same people, the same routine? If nothing unusual or out-of-the-ordinary happened, are we now feeling a little ho-hum about the day's predictable pattern?

It’s easy to recognize the extraordinary events in a day—the ones that break the norm, perhaps add a challenge, or a chuckle, or a bit of chaos. We give those events recognition and tend to belittle the events in an ordinary day.

Tonight we can look back over our day and feel gratitude for every minute of it. We can remember our uneventful commute to work, for instance, and feel grateful that we drove in safety. We can recall the people, places, and things now and be grateful they were a part of our day.

Tonight, I will feel grateful for the good in the ordinary.

**************************************************

~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Putting our own recovery first

After we have put together a few months of recovery, we may really want to help others in our meeting. The goal is worthy, but we must be careful that we don’t find it easier to worry about others’ recovery than our own.

In recovery we all have plenty to do on our own. We need to concentrate on ourselves, especially at first. This is not being selfish; it’s putting “first things first.” Chances are, we can be more helpful to our brothers and sisters if we simply (although not easily) set a good example, that is, if we go to meetings, work with a sponsor, pray, and do regular inventories.

Am I setting a good example?

Higher Power, help me simply to do my own work and not worry about others’ work.

Today I will set a good example by

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

**************************************************

~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

Too much of a good thing can he wonderful.

~ MAE WEST ~

Newcomer

I’ve been asked to speak at a meeting I’ve never attended before. I know that speaking in this fellowship is a service, and that we’re supposed to say yes when we’re asked to do things in recovery. The problem is that the speaking engagement conflicts with my favorite regular meeting, the one where we all go out afterward; I hate missing it.

Sponsor

Decisions have often been a challenge for us. In active addiction, we may have been too ill to make a choice, or we made it by default: we forgot to show up, or we waited until the last minute and canceled because of some “unforeseen emergency” we invented to justify our excuse. We missed out on a lot of what life had to offer. In recovery, though we know how to show up for commitments, we often feel uncertain about what’s the right thing to commit ourselves to. What if we make the wrong decision? If we choose plan A, what will we miss? If we choose plan B, we’ll immediately regret not having chosen plan A.

Having choices is part of the abundance of our lives in recovery. Where two good options are concerned, there’s no “wrong” decision. If we choose the unfamiliar, we can be open to meeting new people whose sharing will inspire us with a fresh point of view. Or we can nurture ourselves with the comfort of what’s known.

All the choices I make today have the potential to nourish me and my recovery.

**************************************************

~ THE EYE OPENER ~

We in AA are taught to live for today and to shut out all regrettable yesterdays. This philosophy is good, but it does not mean that we can cut off yesterdays as though they never existed.

If we had not been alcoholics in the yesterdays, we would not be in AA today. If our lives had not been wrecked, we would not now be rebuilding upon a better and surer foundation.

We do not need to lament over misspent yesterdays, but we should salvage what was good in them to help construct our new way of life.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

Protected and Safe

Dear God, help me feel protected and safe today.
Free my mind from resentment, doubt, and fear, and fill me with love, peace, and hope.
When my faith in You and the Twelve Steps and the Fellowship is strong,
I feel protected against the storms of life and safe in my mind and home.

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

LARGESS UNLIMITED

The most mischievous thing in life is man's reluctance to perceive his own dominion. God has given us dominion over all things, but we shrink like frightened children from assuming it, although that assuming is the one and only escape for us.

Jesus, who knew the human heart, and understood our weakness in this respect, commands us,

Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you:

For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened (Matthew 7:7-8).

Is not this the Magna Carta of personal freedom for every man, woman, and child on earth? Is not this the decree of the emancipation of the slaves of every kind of bondage, physical, mental, or spiritual? We have no business to accept ill-health, or poverty, or sinfulness, or strife, or unhappiness, or remorse, with resignation. We have no right to accept anything less than freedom and harmony and joy, for only with these things do we glorify God, and express His holy will, which is our raison d'etre.

We are to reorganize our lives in accordance with his teaching, continuously and untiringly until our goal is attained. That this attainment, that our victory over every negative condition is not merely possible but is definitely promised to us, finds its proof in these glorious words.

**************************************************

~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Feed Each Other

One thing I know: The only ones among you who will be really happy are those who will have sought and found how to serve.

~ Albert Schweitzer ~

A man was being given a tour of the kingdoms beyond this world. His guide opened a door where he saw a group of unhappy people standing around a sumptuous banquet. Although the tables were spread with inviting, delicious food, the people were starving. When the man looked closer, he saw that the spoons the people were holding were longer than their arms, and they could not get food into their mouths. "This," the guide explained, "is hell."

"Then show me heaven," the man requested.

The guide opened another door where the man saw another group of people standing before a similar banquet with spoons longer than their arms. In this room, however, the people were happy and their tummies were full. The people in heaven had learned to feed one another.

When Jesus was saying goodbye to the apostle Peter, he asked him three times, "Peter, do you love me?"

Three times Peter answered, "Yes, Lord, I do love you."

And three times Jesus told Peter, "Then feed my sheep."

All philosophy and rhetoric pale in the face of true kindness and caring. When we take care of one another, we fulfill our highest function as divine beings. We can feed each other on many levels: physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually. There is no greater joy and service than to fill one another with whatever we have to share.

Let me know the joy of giving love. I pray to be a channel for love and blessing at every level.

I am an instrument of God’s healing love. I delight in feeding my brothers and sisters.

July 17

Step by Step

Today, I absolutely must be grateful instead of crediting myself for all things good that happen today, however small. My spiritual fitness depends on humility, and humility crumbles into self-importance and egoism if I think that I and I alone worked hard and "deserve" the good and accomplishments of today. Although it is appropriate to hope that my decisions and actions contributed to some good, gratitude has to be given to my higher power for my correct decisions and actions. With AA, my spiritual and emotional foundations would not be as solid as they have become since I surrendered and set out on its charted course to recovery. Today, I am grateful to AA for empowering me with the ability to do whatever is right that returns to me in the form of something good. While I can say I grabbed the lifeline, it is that lifeline - not me - that is owed the gratitude for the good I have today. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

QUIET TIME

Each morning sees some task begun. Each evening sees it done. Something attempted, something done.

~ Longfellow ~

Every day for us is a period of spiritual growth. Restful sleep prepares us for fruitful days. As each day begins, a new adventure in growth lies ahead. We seek strength and an attitude of making our lives more meaningful and positive through prayer and meditation at the start of each new day during our quiet time. We prepare ourselves emotionally for the busy hours ahead.

With positive action planned ahead, we arise to a day dedicated to accomplishment. We know we have little time for standing and idly staring. We accept new challenges as we carry out each day’s plans. We encourage those around us to join us in seeking to see the best in everything that makes up our daily lives.

Restful sleep, meditation, planning and turning it over starts my day with a quiet time and keeps it manageable.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

Man is harder than iron, stronger than stone and more fragile than a rose.

~ Turkish proverb ~

It is a boy’s idea of a real man that leaves no room for softness or weakness. In his view, a real man is either strong or weak, either tough or soft. But a boy is not yet a man, and he can only imitate grown men. As we develop into adults with real life experience, and as we get to know ourselves with honesty, we no longer have to view our masculinity as a caricature. We know that our true nature contains both toughness and gentleness. When we are at peace with ourselves, we don’t have to hide our gentleness to prove that we are strong.

We no longer have to prove anything. We have self-acceptance, including the whole complex mixture of elements that make up our character. And with self-acceptance, we don’t need to focus on the image we portray to others. We just let ourselves be and express the truth of how we feel and who we are. That is the sign of a real man who has grown up.

Today I am growing in self-knowledge and I accept myself as a complex mixture.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

Filling the hole in our soul with contemplation, meditation, and prayer will teach us that the God of our understanding is there.

~ Jan Lloyd ~

We are coming to understand that our Higher Power has always been present. That’s why we survived our addiction. However, cultivating a friend-ship with this unseen presence takes willingness and discipline. It helps if we converse with this God of our understanding every day. This friendship is much like all our other friendships in that it can be strengthened by attention.

The more time we give to God, the smoother our lives will unfold. When we learn to make no decision without first consulting God, we will dramatically change the outcome of many of our experiences. Even while in the midst of a trying situation, we can seek God’s guidance and be freed from unnecessary harm.

In the past we desperately tried to fill the void with alcohol or other drugs; now we’re filling it with love for our Higher Power. How lucky we are that we have lots of living yet to do.

My experiences today will reflect my closeness to the God I trust. Remembering this assures me of a peaceful day.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I will be abstinent today

It used to be that my most important goal each day was to cope with the pain of my dual disorder. I did it mostly by using chemicals. Mostly it didn't work.

Today, that "solution" seems ironic. Because in recovery, the way I stop the pain is to not use chemicals. Today, abstinence is my most important goal. And I know I can do it. I have done it before. I have several tools to work with, especially meetings, the telephone, and my sponsor. With the help of my higher power, today I will be gratefully, humbly abstinent.

Today I will meditate on the value of abstinence in my recovery and check in with my sponsor.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

...All things... that men should do to you, do ye even so to them.

~ Matthew 7:12 ~

In the midst of active addiction, the drug dictates how we relate to others: on good days, overly cautious, boastful, effusive; on bad days, nasty, negative, rude, sometimes cruel. Recovery means being aware that others are affected by our behavior. And that only abstinence grants us the freedom to choose our actions.

When we first go into recovery, we are terrified by the openness we feel emotionally. We often feel wide open to others. We don’t have the drugs to hide behind. We don’t have a way to manipulate our moods and to make sure we are acting in the “right” manner. It is a new feeling, and often frightening, to realize that our moods have been so manipulated by our using.

But as our spiritual life grows, we find a new peace. We learn to trust ourselves and others in a new way. With the help of our Higher Power and others in recovery, we become confident that our love and good intentions are lasting. Our love, joy, and sharing are beginning to seem real, and straight from the heart. Soon, we will feel proud of the way we treat others.

Today give me the courage to treat other people the way I would like to be treated.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

My aim in life has always been to hold my own with whatever’s going. Not against: with.

~ Robert Frost ~

Once there was an old man who needed to transition from his beloved home into an assisted care facility. Before he moved, a home care worker visited with him. “This must be very difficult for you,” she remarked. “It’s not hard at all,” he said to her with a smile.

When moving day arrived, the home care worker drove him. “This must be very difficult for you,” she said. The old man smiled at her. “It’s not hard at all.”

The woman grew concerned. She had taken many people to the facility, and most were far less cheery. “Let me tell you about this facility,” the woman said as she escorted him through the lobby. “I love it here,” the old man replied as he looked around him.

“I’m really worried about you,” she began. “I’ve never seen someone so cheery about leaving his home and coming to this facility.” The old man patted her arm. “I make it a point of asking God to give me the strength to accept each moment as it comes. So when I asked this time, He assured me that no matter where I live, He is always with me.”

I greet this new day with acceptance of all that will happen.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

The world is full of people looking for spectacular happiness while they snub contentment.

~ Doug Larson ~

Before we came into the program, our lives were like roller coaster rides. We'd either be on a downward plunge of despair or an upward lift of ecstasy. When we were on a high, it seemed as if nothing could take that feeling away from us. We kept going from high to high and began calling our highs happiness.

Today our lives aren't so dramatic, nor filled with such radical swings. Because we can't equate our happiness with those highs, we are often uncomfortable with feelings that don't include ecstasy or depression. Today we feel contentment, cheerfulness, serenity, and peace.

Just like we do with a pair of new shoes, we need to try on our new feelings. We need to wear them through our daily routines and our nightly schedules. It won't be long before they fit us well. Then, it won't feel so strange when we feel stability and gentleness. We'll soon learn these feelings have always been within our reach. We've just been too afraid to feel them.

Tonight I am grateful to be off the roller coaster. I am unafraid of the content feelings that I have.

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Becoming willing to act

The miracles in our program don’t simply rub off at meetings. The key to getting clean and sober—and staying clean and sober—is a willingness to act.

Once we feel scared enough or strong enough to do something—once the willing-ness appears—miracles can happen. Action is the magic word. We must not wait for some-thing to “rub off.” Rather, we must act as soon as possible. An important phrase in the program describes this: “acting as if.”

Am I learning to “act as if”?

Higher Power, help me become willing to act so that I don’t fall into a spiritual sleep.

Today I will take action on

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

She who tells the truth is not well liked.

~ BAMBARA PROVERB ~

Newcomer

An old friend of mine showed up at a meeting last week. He needs this program, and I was glad to see him. He told me how overjoyed he was to begin recovery. The next day he showed up again. He was late, but he made more than half the meeting. He said he’d see me here again today, but he didn’t show up or call. I’m going to phone him and try to find out what happened.

Sponsor

“Easy does it” may apply here. I’d be cautious about saying more than “I missed seeing you at the meeting.” More might make your friend feel guilty. No one’s ever stayed in recovery out of a sense of guilt, as far as I know.

Our friends know where to find meetings. We’re not their sponsors or their only source of information and help. We—and they—may have no doubt that they need recovery. Whether they want it is another matter. Our simply being here indicates to friends and family members that recovery is possible for people like them, but to serve as examples, we have to maintain our own recovery.

I’m not suggesting that we never do anything for others. Far from it. But we can’t force anyone to recover. Where friends or relatives are concerned, our intense interest may paradoxically, make it more difficult for us to be helpful. A light touch is required.

Today, as I share my love for recovery, I have a light touch. I trust that each of us is in the care of a Higher Power.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

It is not possible for man to live without emotions, and all emotions are passions. Emotions are as good as our control over them. Even those which we look upon as bad are bad only because they are not under proper control.

The Creator of man endowed him with emotions as part of the necessary equipment to live a full and useful life. We live our lives and enjoy them only to the extent we curb and regulate our feelings.

God put nothing evil in man. Man has diverted his blessings to evil purposes.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

For Loved Ones Far Away

O Great Spirit, Whose care reaches to the farthest parts of the earth,
We humbly ask You to see and bless those whom we love
Who are now absent from us,
And defend and protect them from all dangers of mind, body, and spirit.

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

THE GOLDEN RULE

Therefore all things whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye even so to them: for this is the law of the prophets (Matthew 7:12).

Here in the sublime precept that we call the Golden Rule, Jesus reiterates that great Law in a concise summing up. This repetition follows upon his wonderful statement of the fatherhood of God. The underlying explanation for the existence of the great law is the fact that we are fundamentally all parts of the Great Mind. Because we are all ultimately one, to hurt another is really to hurt oneself, and to help another is really to help oneself. The fatherhood of God compels us to accept the brotherhood of man, and spiritually, brotherhood is unity.

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

No Small Plans

Make no little plans: They have no magic to stir men’s blood.

~ Daniel H. Burnham ~

“Quit your job; you are to work with Robert Redford,” a firm voice spoke from a place deep within Judy. The intuition was so compelling that she had to follow it. Soon Robert Redford’s production company came to Salt Lake City, and Judy signed up to be an extra in a movie. After a few days, she learned of a need for volunteers in the office, and the work she did there won her an invitation to join the paid accounting staff. At that time, Robert Redford was searching for a personal assistant, and Judy was offered the job. She went on to work closely with Mr. Redford for years.

As divine beings, we are here to do magnificent things, and smallness does not befit us. Anyone who has ever improved her life or changed the world has had to think big, think radically, and be willing to venture into unknown worlds. The voice of transformation begins with a tiny hint whispered to our inner self. If we follow it, we will be on our way to the life we wish for.

What visions or dreams have you denied because you believe they are too big for you? What would you love to do that you have shied away from pursuing because it feels like too much of a stretch? What possibilities send a current of enthusiasm through your body and spirit? These are precisely the avenues that you must pursue to live on the cutting edge of your own destiny.

Help me to think big and act on my dreams. I trust that if You give me an idea, You will give me the means to manifest it. Help me to move beyond fear into magnificence.

I can do great things because a great Source guides and supports me.

July 18

Step by Step

" ...I felt a fear coming into my life, and I couldn't cope with it. I got so that I hid quite a bit of the time, wouldn't answer the phone, and stayed by myself as much as I could. I noticed that I was avoiding all my social friends ...I couldn't keep up with any of my other friends, and I wouldn't go to anyone's house unless I knew they drank as heavily as I did. I never knew it was the first drink that did it. I thought I was losing my mind when I realized that I couldn't stop drinking. That frightened me terribly." - Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, Part II ("Personal Stories)", Ch 2 ("Fear of Fear"), p 324.

Today, I do not have to fear the first drink that unleashes in its wake all its devastation because, today, AA has freed me from fear and all its siblings and cousins. I can claim with honesty that I have fully bowed to Step One - " ...(A)dmitted (I am) powerless ..." - and take as gospel the program's credos like "One Day at a Time," "First Things First," "Keep It Sweet and Simple" and "There for the grace of God go I." I am in recovery, I am sober and I don't need or want the first drink. Without it, I don't have to avoid friends, family or anyone else, and I don't have to be afraid to answer the phone because of some paranoid fear that it's news that I did something last night that I don't remember. Today, I am humble and loyal to the program. With it, fear is knocked out of the ballpark. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

NO REGRETS

Of all sad words of tongue or pen, the saddest are these, 'It might have been.'

~ Whittier ~

Unless we live in the now, we are in danger of suffering the agony of regret. We can’t spend all our time thinking “life's not fair.” We cannot afford to excuse every-thing with "what ifs?" We used those words constantly during the years we wasted on obeying compulsions we knew could destroy us.

We remember the years before recovery and accept them as object lessons of what it could be like again if we become careless or complacent. But we don't regret them. Regret only leads to depression and perhaps a return to active addiction.

We must stop dwelling on the impossibility of undoing the wrongs of yesterday. Instead, we must begin enjoying the "right things" that are now possible in recovery.

It is impossible to relive my past. I can only create a good past now by living this day the best way I can, so that tomorrow I can look back without having to say "It might have been."

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

Courage is the price that life exacts for granting peace.

~ Amelia Earhart ~

Courage is a traditional masculine virtue. We admire a man who bravely faces danger and does battle for a worthy cause. When courage fails a man, when he steps aside from the battle that needs to be fought, we feel that he missed his calling.

Recovery requires this kind of courage. In fact, the struggles with ourselves and with our inner demons are far more frightening than duking it out with a real live foe. We might get a thrill from the danger of driving fast, or climbing a rock wall, or skiing a challenging slope, yet we freeze when we try to talk about our feelings or make amends for a bad mistake.

The very act of beginning our recovery took courage. We put it off as long as we could. The battle seemed so frightening. When we could see no other escape, we raised the courage to go forward toward a worthwhile goal. And the peace that we have now is the reward for our courage.

Today I pray for the courage to do what I am called to do.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

I have to remember to tell the negative committee that meets in my head to sit down and shut up.

~ Kathy Kendall ~

Why does it seem easier to get trapped in negative thinking than it does to have positive expectations? Maybe it’s only a matter of habit. We may be proficient at expecting the worst outcomes, but with the support and the example of friends who share our journey today, we can break that habit. And we’ll discover that it’s not that difficult.

Let’s begin by making small attempts. In the past our mind seemed to fill up with random thoughts, as if it were a newsreel produced by an outsider. Today, as quick as a blink, we can fast- forward the picture to one we prefer. We can be the full-time “producer” of our own newsreel. That’s the good news!

Our thoughts and attitudes are there by our choice. We must acknowledge that. We can neither blame nor give credit to anyone but ourselves. We can make a habit of positive thinking. Let’s begin right now.

I will focus on positive thoughts today. Remembering that my thoughts are of my own making, every time, makes it easier to switch channels.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I am looking forward to returning to work

Because of my dual disorder, for now I can't return to work. My addiction fueled my psychiatric symptoms, which scared me into further use of chemicals. I spiraled deeper into illness and needed a medical leave from work to get stable, both physically and emotionally.

To my surprise, not working has been hard. I miss having a place to go during the day and being with people I enjoy. In particular, I miss the feeling of making a contribution. But with the help of my higher power, I plan to return to work soon.

I will pick up an extra recovery meeting and work on today's job: my dual recovery.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

You alone can get well, but you can’t get well alone.

~ Donald A. Tubesing ~

Each of us is responsible for our own well-being. We cannot blame anyone else for the progress or lack of it that we may experience in our efforts to change or to work a program of recovery. We alone are responsible.

But being the sole owner of responsibility for our lives does not mean we play solo! We take responsibility for our own program of recovery, but link our spirits with others who also know how to recover. It’s especially important in early recovery to be with those who know the ropes, who have gained the spiritual peace we hope to attain. They can guide us, support us, laugh with us and cry with us, and sometimes be firm with us when we seem to be heading the wrong way. All Twelve Step programs use the word “we” in each of the steps. Recovery is not lonely. It happens in community, with others.

Today give me the courage to join those who are in recovery. Help me see others in recovery as friends who know what I’ve been through and want to help me.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

Progress always involves risks. You can’t steal second base and keep your foot on first.

~ Frederick B. Wilcox ~

The great things in the world happened as a result of risk taking. Explorers and adventurers discovered new lands. Inventors tinkered and created amazing inventions. Businesses sprang from simple visions. Great diseases were conquered by those who risked experimentation.

The accomplishments of these and so many other people all started from the same place: a willingness to take risks. They did not shy away from risking everything, even without the guarantee of a positive or beneficial outcome.

Beginning your recovery is also taking a risk. But what differentiates your risk from those of the greatest risk takers is that your outcome is assured of being positive and beneficial. Think of the great number of people who use and abuse and do nothing to change their circumstances. Then think of all those—yourself included—who are waking up each day ready to take the risk of finding a better way of living. You may begin your day with the fear that you may fail, doubt that you might not succeed, or dread over the difficult things you must do. But remember that the risk you are taking in your life today guarantees a better future.

What great thing will I accomplish today in recovery by taking a risk?

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

When the cards are dealt and you pick up your hand . . . there's nothing you can do except to play it out for whatever it may be worth. And the way you play your hand is free will.

~ Jawaharlal Nehru ~

Playing a card game with a winning hand can be joyful. We gain confidence from the cards and play well, knowing we can be successful. But when we pick up a hand that could be a losing one, we may want to walk away from almost certain defeat.

How we play the hand we're dealt each day will determine the outcome. A hand that requires effort, determination, and skill to play well we may see as too difficult. Rather than play it, we may want to pass it to another and draw a new hand.

But we won't be given another hand tonight. We can pick up the cards and use the tools of the program to work through the difficult ones and try to change the hand into a good one. Win or lose, the best way to stay in the game is to play with what we have.

Tonight I can choose not to fold. I'll continue to face what life has given me today and work through things to the best of my ability.

**************************************************

~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Practicing sanity

When we were getting high all the time, we were practicing insanity. It was a lot of fun. We got so good at it, however, that we couldn’t tell see how serious it had become. Whether we’re straight or high, insanity seemed to take over.

Now we can practice sanity daily. Practicing anything will eventually make us pretty good at it. With the grace of God, we can get pretty good at sanity too.

Am I letting go of my insane behavior?

Higher Power, help me face the fears of sane living, fears I tried to hide from with addiction.

Today I will reflect on my unresolved problem behaviors by

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

**************************************************

~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

Truth burns up error.

~ SOJOURNER TRUTH ~

Newcomer

Lately, I’ve been preoccupied with thoughts about a member of the group who’s been pursuing me. So much mental energy goes into trying to figure out ways of warding off this person’s attentions that I miss a lot of what’s being said at meetings.

Today, I finally spoke up. I’d planned to say something like “Feeling comfortable at meetings is really important to me, so I want to be clear that I’m not willing to date friends from the group. I have to put my recovery first.” What actually came out of my mouth didn’t sound much like that! I hemmed and hawed, but I must have gotten it across, because the person acknowledged what I’d said and was sorry to have made me uncomfortable.

Sponsor

Congratulations. That’s freedom. When we’re finally able to say something that we’ve been holding back, it’s an immense relief. Relationships—not just romantic ones, but those involving friends, family members, or people at work—sometimes require saying things we find difficult. The kind of appropriate, respectful sharing you did clears the air and makes closeness feel safer.

We can state the truth of our own feelings clearly and gently, without attacking or blaming the other person and putting him or her on the defensive. Instead of “Why did you ...” or “You’re making me feel...,” we can say something like “I feel angry (hurt, happy, confused, etc.) when ...” Instead of hurting others’ feelings or inviting argument, we open the door to mutual honesty and understanding.

Today, I have the courage and humility to be truthful.

**************************************************

~ THE EYE OPENER ~

It is frequently true that many of us might be better employed. A lot of good farmers and mechanics have been ruined by making doctors, lawyers or engineers out of them.

When we finally sobered up, many of us were unemployable in the profession or trade for which we had some aptitude, and the necessity of getting a job made us take the first thing that presented itself.

While we are on our Inventories, it might be well to check on our adaptability to our present jobs and where we are wrong endeavor to do something about it.

**************************************************

~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

When Our Hearts Are Lonely

God of life,
There are days when the burdens we carry
Hurt our shoulders and wear us down,
When the road seems dreary and endless,
The skies gray and threatening,
When our lives have no music in them
And our hearts are lonely
And our souls have lost their courage.
Flood the path with light, we ask You,
And turn our eyes to where the skies are full of promise.

~ by St. Augustine ~

*************************************************

~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

THE STRAIT GATE

Enter ye in at the strait gate: for wide is the gate, and broad is the way, that leadeth to destruction, and many there be which go in thereat:

Because strait is the gate, and narrow is the way, which leadeth unto life, and few there be that find it (Matthew 7:13-14).

There is only one way under the sun by which man can attain salvation, in the true sense of the word, and that is by bringing about a radical and permanent change for the better in his own consciousness. For countless generations humanity has been trying in every other conceivable way to compass its own good. This change in consciousness is the strait gate that Jesus speaks of here, and, as he says, the number of those who find it is comparatively small.

Now why should man be so reluctant, apparently, to try to change his consciousness? The answer is that the changing of one's consciousness is really very hard work, calling for constant unceasing vigilance and a breaking of mental habits. Entering the strait gait is, however, worth much more than whatever trouble or effort it may call for.

If you make a qualitative change in consciousness, which is what happens in prayer, then not only is the effect of that change felt in every department of your life, but it is with you through all eternity, for you never can lose it. Thieves cannot break in and steal.

As soon as you obtain this spiritual consciousness you will findthat all things indeed work together for good to those who love God.

**************************************************

~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Velcro Relationships

All minds are joined.

~ A Course in Miracles ~

While Carla was teaching a seminar, a woman told her, "l feel that my marriage is over. My husband and I have been together for a long time, and we have grown in different directions. I want to leave, but I cannot because I know it would crush him."

A month later at another workshop, a man confessed, "My marriage is empty, but I'm staying with my wife because I know she would never survive a divorce." Then Carla discovered that he was the husband of the woman who spoke at the first seminar.

Relationships are based on matching energy. Like strips of Velcro fasteners, partners contain hooking energies that conform by agreement. Often couples have similar or polarized underlying feelings that go unspoken. When you speak your truth, you invite your partner to do the same, and together you bring the relationship into more light and integrity. Invite your partner in a relationship, business, or friendship to greater intimacy by being honest about what you're experiencing. You may be surprised to find that you are more joined than you realized.

Show me my oneness with my brothers and sisters. Let me meet them in the deepest and richest truth of the heart.

I attract the perfect co-creators for my adventure into greater light.

July 19

Step by Step

"The mental state of the sick alcoholic is beyond description. I had no resentments against individuals - the whole world was all wrong. My thoughts went round and round with 'What's it all about anyhow? People have wars and kill each other; they struggle and cut each other's throats for success and what does anyone get out of it? Haven't I been successful, haven't I accomplished extraordinary things ...What do I get out of it? Everything's all wrong and hell with it.'" - Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, Part I ("Personal Stories"), Ch 6 ("The Vicious Cycle"), pp 244-45.

Today, an inventory of my mental state even if I am not drinking, if for no other reason than to make sure I'm not on a dry drunk. If ever I thought in my drinking days that "the whole world was wrong," do I still harbor that belief? Instead of adapting myself to the world and finding my own place in it, do I still consciously or unconsciously expect the world to change to adapt to me? If I do, chances are my Fourth Step was the immoral inventory of the world around me, not an inventory of myself - or I have neglected tolerance. The "sick alcoholic" does not have to be a drinking one. Today, to make sure I am not just dry, my mental state requires a checkup that I'm not still the sick alcoholic of my drinking days. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M.

**************************************************

~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

FIRST THINGS FIRST

Do not climb the hill until you get to it.

~ English Proverb ~

As each day goes by, we gain a clearer perspective on our lives. We realize that our recovery program is our most important priority. Our sponsor and home group are ever present reminders to keep First Things First. We never stray too far from our First Step. We remember that when we came into the Program we were flat on our backs. Before we could crawl, we had to learn to sit up. Before we could walk, we had to learn to stand. There is no alternative to doing First Things First.

Our meetings help us to shut off the voices that tell us to solve tomorrow's problems today. We pray and meditate on the things that are directly in front of us. When we own the present we have peace of mind. When we rent the future we buy trouble.

If I make the proper preparations and wait until I get there to climb the hill, the climb is easier.

**************************************************

~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

The mind creates the abyss and the heart crosses it

~ Nisargadatta Maharaj ~

Sometimes we are filled with fear. The challenges facing us seem so large and we feel so confused or so stymied. We wake in the middle of the night and the worst images rise up in our thoughts. Our problems, real or imagined, can overwhelm us. We feel bereft and alone.

Yet, honestly, we don’t have to live the whole future in one day, and we don’t have to deal with everything alone. When running a long distance, we may feel tired and can’t imagine continuing to the end. Yet we know we can keep running now, and we can keep taking step after step. We don’t have to expend all of our energy in one burst. Our energy rebuilds along the path, even as we expend it. So it is with meeting the challenges of our lives. We take heart in knowing that we only have to deal with today. We are never alone because our creator is always with us.

Today I will cross over any difficulty I must face.

**************************************************

~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

Life is so much easier if you ride the horse in the direction it’s going.

~ Anonymous ~

There is a pattern to our lives. Our Higher Power has always wanted the best for us. Had we trusted the natural flow of our experiences instead of trying to control people and outcomes, we’d have experienced less pain and lots more joy. It’s not that life won’t have difficult lessons to teach us on occasion. It will and they may hurt. But we must remember that God will never give us what we can’t handle and, furthermore, that we’ll have the guidance we need to meet our challenges.

Going against our inner urges never gives us peace. The wisdom that resides within is a gift from our Higher Power. Let’s never forget that.

I will be peaceful today if I follow the voice of my heart.

**************************************************

~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I need help with my cravings

I don't like this state I'm in. All I can think about right now is using. And I'm tired of feeling scared and anxious. I just want some relief. At times like this, I don’t care if it's only temporary: changing my mood is all that matters.

Being hooked like this is painful, especially since the relief I get from drugs and alcohol doesn't last—I know that. My cravings just come back, sometimes stronger than before. So why does a part of me still believe in this lie? I read somewhere that this lie is part of the disease. I'm still confused. But I want to be clean and sober. I want to change my thinking and my behavior. I want to feel better.

My sponsor said I could call her anytime. I will pick up the phone now and ask for her help.

*************************************************

~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

Running away may relieve our anxieties momentarily, but lasting ease requires our turning toward what we dread most. In dealing with fear, the way out is in.

~ Sheldon Kopp ~

Fear is a monster that is always at our backs until we turn to face it. Looking our dread in the face renders it powerless. It is not possible to be panic-stricken and honestly confront our fear at the same time.

Fear avoids sunlight and nurtures itself only in the dark comers of our lives. Taking our biggest fears out of the closet and exposing them earn us ten giant steps forward in the healing process.

We watch our fears lose their power one by one and fall away when exposed to the light of day. Sharing our secrets and fears with another human being, our sponsor, and in some cases our group, is like walking across a dark room and turning the light on. Often we find that the shadow in the corner has disappeared.

Today let me risk finding a safe person to tell some of my fears and secrets to.

**************************************************

~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

If you mess up, fess up.

~ Author unknown ~

Self-respect is developed, in part, from your ability to accept and take full responsibility for your actions. Even when you make mistakes or behave badly, your willingness to own up to your part in such things makes you a better person. Your humility in being able to ask for forgiveness displays the depth of understanding you have for the hurt or harm you may have caused others.

But until you can take responsibility for your actions and place this responsibility squarely on your shoulders, you may spend the majority of your time looking for someone or something else to blame.

When you blame others you not only show them little regard, but you are, in essence, giving up on yourself. You may think that you are saving face by pointing a finger in another direction, but what you are really doing is pointing the finger at yourself. You are saying, “Look at me. I am someone who would rather find a scapegoat than take responsibility. I am not a person you can trust or respect.” And whenever you cannot trust or respect yourself, it will be hard for others to feel that way about you.

The power to grow self-respect is within me. I will own up to the problems that are mine and fix them.

**************************************************

~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

Three . . . are my friends: [One] that loves me, [one] that hates me, [one] that is indifferent to me. Who loves me, teaches me tenderness. Who hates me, teaches me caution. Who is indifferent to me, teaches me self-reliance.

~ Ivan Panin ~

Not everyone is going to be a best friend. Some people will choose not to know us. Others may dislike us for whatever reason. Yet we can see these people as our friends by realizing each has something to offer.

We may be hurt when we realize not everyone likes us or wants to be our friend. But do we want to be friends with everyone? Certainly there are those we know who bore us, make us angry, or turn us off.

It's okay that everyone isn't our friend. We can learn from the one who dislikes us that there are aspects about our behaviors that some people won’t like. We can learn from those who don't care to pursue a friendship that not everyone can be there for us. Such people will also help us appreciate more the special people in our lives who are unquestionably our friends.

I know I have some very special friends in my life. Tonight I can be grateful for their support.

**************************************************

~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Taking just one

It’s that first fix, pill, or drink that gets us high. It’s not the second or third or fourth one, or the second day or the second week of using that gets us into trouble. It is the first one. And until we understand this concept, we will keep trying—without success—to gain control over our drug use.

For us, control no longer exists. And it never will. When we start thinking. Well, just one won’t hurt me, we are on our way back to that same pain and discouragement of a drug-filled life.

Do I believe that even one is too many?

Higher Power, please help me remember that I can never regain control over my drug use.

I will avoid taking that first drink or drug today by

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

**************************************************

~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

As a body everyone is single, as a soul never.

~ HERMAN HESSE ~

Newcomer

I’ve been to so many meetings. Sometimes I feel as if I’m hearing the same things over and over again. When someone starts to speak, I feel tired in advance. I think, “Oh, no— now I’ve got to hear that war story again.”

Sponsor

At times, I’ve had similar feelings. I like to think of myself as a caring person, but the truth is that sometimes I feel as if I can’t stand being reminded of the suffering of others. Where’s my compassion?

I have a hunch that what’s going on for me at such times is that, as I hear about other people’s pain, I’m being reminded of my own. I don’t want to dwell on my history. I want to be unique, not like all those others. I want to reject my addictive past. I don’t want to hear reminders of what’s inside of me. And I can’t be patient and tender toward others if I’m not willing to be patient and tender toward myself.

But it’s healing to listen to others. When I open my awareness and begin to accept the truth of my own and others’ past suffering, my heart grows.

Today, I am aware of the presence of a Higher Power when I am in the presence of another person.

**************************************************

~ THE EYE OPENER ~

In our drinking days we had sufficient knowledge to know that there was a better way of living, but it was beyond our wildest imaginings that such a life was possible for us. An idea that sprang from the imagination of Bill and Dr. Bob took root in our minds, and we became possessed of the knowledge that enabled us to convert our lives into lives beyond the limits of our imagination.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

Make Us Strong—Native American

O our Father, the Sky, hear us and make us strong.
O our Mother, the Earth, hear us and give us support.
O Spirit of the East, send us Your wisdom.
O Spirit of the South, may we tread Your path.
O Spirit of the West, may we always be ready for the long journey
O Spirit of the North, purify us with Your cleansing winds.

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

THE GRACIOUS WILL OF GOD

A tragic mistake that is often made is to assume that the will of God is bound to be something very dull and uninviting, if not positively unpleasant. Consciously or not some persons look upon God as a hard taskmaster, or a severe parent. Too often their prayers amount to something like this: "Please God, give me such-and-such a boon, which I sorely need—but I don't suppose you will, because you won't think it is good for me." Needless to say, a prayer of this sort is answered as all prayers are answered, according to the faith of the subject; that is to say, the boon is not granted. The truth is that the will of God for us always means greater freedom, greater self-expression, newer and brighter experience, wider opportunity of service to others—life more abundant.

God is love; and he that dwelleth in love dwelleth in God, and God, in him (1 John 4:16).

**************************************************

~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Let It Be Easy

Life was never meant to be a struggle.

~ Stuart Wilde ~

A friend of mine invited author Arnold Patent to participate in a project she was sponsoring. After considering the invitation, Arnold told her, "I don't think I'll be a part of this venture. When I try the idea on for size, it feels like a struggle for me. My life is about ease."

My life is about ease. Now there is a powerful affirmation! Imagine how much more joyful and creative you would be if you refused to participate in anything that was a struggle, and relaxed into what you're doing so that it became a dance instead of drudgery. You might end up living heaven on earth!

Whenever you feel a sense of strain, ask yourself this question:

How would I be doing this differently if I were willing to let it be easy?

Letting it be easy does not mean sitting back, succumbing to laziness, and expecting everyone else to do everything for you. Letting it be easy means honoring your aliveness, acting from the place in you where life is meaningful, and releasing any notion that you must participate in activities that deaden you.

When you proceed from joy rather than rote obligation, you will have so much more creative energy and health that you will be infinitely more powerful to manifest the life you choose, and serve others in the process.

Lead me from struggle fo ease that t may reflect the Light of the world.

I magnify peace as I do what I love.

July 20

Step by Step

"I had my first drink when I was 15 and my alcoholic potential had ripened me to the point of necessary escapism. I needed alcohol from that night on, and it in turn used me, ruling my life for three years.
"I never drank socially; I drank as often and as much as I could. My eventual goal was to drink myself to death. All my life, it seemed, was spent on the outside looking in. I had been unhappy, lonely and scared for so long that the discovery of liquor seemed to be the answer to all my problems." - Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, Part II ("They Stopped in Time"), Ch 7 ("A Teenager's Story"), p 353.

Today ... out of the mouths of babes. This sufferer who crossed the threshold of alcoholism at age 15 and began recovery at 18 speaks to all of us on multiple levels. First, youth and even a relatively short drinking career do not shield us from alcoholism; second, if like this child we are drinking or drank as an "escape" or a solution "to all (our) problems," we have by clinical definition established the link between alcohol and addiction even if it is emotional or psychological. If I have any deep-seeded worry about my drinking or if I am desperately clawing for excuses to quiet others who have their worries, grant me the strength and honesty to heed the voices of warning. Their experience may be the lifeline I might not yet know I need. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

HUMILITY

The 12 Step way of life is humble, not necessarily meek

~ Anonymous ~

The picture many of us get of a humble person is someone afraid of their own shadow, whose self-image is so low they're afraid to stand up for themselves. We learn that this image of humility is not what is meant in the Program. We realize that the people who have stayed abstinent for some time are all humble.

For those who have made progress in the Program, humility is simply a clear recognition of what and who they are. They have gotten down to their own right size. Humility is understanding that they're worthwhile. It's the middle ground between the extremes of grandiosity and intense shame. They have a sincere desire to be and become the best they can be.

Today, I will remember that humility is not being meek. It's being me. Humility for me means staying my "right size."

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

Eternity is a terrible thought. I mean, where’s it going to end?

~ Tom Stoppard ~

Looking at the stars on a clear night or the vastness of the open sea gives us a sense of how small we are. It may feel frightening to contemplate—and at the same time comforting. What are we but a bit of earth sparked to life by a force we didn’t initiate? This rich mixture of fear, comfort, and awe is what we can call spirituality.

In our program of recovery, we are guided to a spiritual path. The very search for a sense of meaning is a spiritual quest. We are told to have faith in the God of our understanding, and the paradox is that God is beyond our understanding. God exceeds the confines of a human definition. When we can relax into that realization, we find comfort in the vastness and we focus on being the best kind of man we know how to be.

I can be at peace, knowing that what is eternal exceeds my understanding

**************************************************

~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

I do not have to always be right!

~ Mary Zink ~

Where does the need to be right come from? No doubt from our youth and the shaming reprimands that were heaped on us by parents and teachers when we made mistakes. We mastered the idea that we weren’t worthy unless we knew everything and lived mistake-free lives. Of course this was Impossible; thus, we felt like failures most of the time. That is, until we discovered this program.

We are free at last. Free from the torment of trying to be perfect. Free from the torment of trying to know everything. Free from the torment of trying to control others against their will. Free from the agitation that came all too easily even in minor disagreements. We feel as if we have been born anew, and we have, more or less.

We are right part of the time, but the burden of having to be right in order to be at all is gone. And that has made all the difference.

I will be right part of the time today. I’ll let others be right their fair share too.

**************************************************

~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I need to remember HALT

Suddenly I feel very irritated. Why? I don't know. I know I'm upset, but I don't know what to do. I feel out of control. I feel like using. This has happened before and I don't know what's going on.

When I have these sudden changes in mood, I need to recall the tried and true slogan, HALT (Hungry Angry, Lonely, Tired). Several times I've heard about this tool for staying in touch with four important feelings. When I sense a change in mood, which often happens to me these days, I need to ask myself whether I am feeling especially hungry, angry lonely, or tired. If I know what I'm feeling, I feel less out of control, and I can figure out what to do next—even if it's nothing.

I will make a HALT flash card and carry it with me as a reminder.

*************************************************

~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

Is recovery part of Glasnost, too?

~ Earle P. ~

Although the Twelve Steps were conceived in America, their benefits are being felt worldwide. There are now groups all over the world, even the Soviet Union. In fact, the Soviet government has helped encourage the growth of Twelve Step recovery there. Alcoholism has been a terrible health problem in the Soviet Union and destroyed many lives.

It is gratifying to think how much help is now available worldwide. Treatment centers, Twelve Step programs, and support for recovery are springing up everywhere. It thrills us to think of our partners in recovery in cities and countries around the world, not just around the corner. We may never meet in person, but we find great joy in knowing that our spiritual counterparts are all over the world.

Today I am grateful that support groups are now available in most countries of the world. I am thankful that recovery is now virtually worldwide.

**************************************************

~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

I have had, and may still have, a thousand friends, as they are called, in life, who are like one’s partners in the waltz of this world—not much remembered when the ball is over.

~ Lord Byron ~

In the online world, you may have dozens of friends through connections facilitated by social networks and forums. Chances are you have never met these friends. You could be standing behind one in a grocery store line and never know that the two of you have been exchanging daily e-mails. While your online friends may give helpful advice and may “be there” for you whenever you are online, it is important to distinguish between those who are true friends and those who have “friended” you.

True friends are there in times of misfortune as well as times of gladness. They can be helpful when you are sick or need a hug. They may understand you better than you understand yourself. They love you, even when you do not love yourself. They will tell you the truth, even when you do not want to hear it.

While your online community can be of value to your life, just be aware of how much time you devote to those people so you do not take away time and attention from your true friends.

I will limit my online friends so I have more time to devote to my true friends.

**************************************************

~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

Sickness tells us what we are.

~ Proverb ~

Our lives are made up of many things that define who we are. Our salaries and savings tell how rich we are. Our clothes tell the colors and styles we like. The cars we drive show our tastes and transportation needs. Our homes reflect our family size and the type of furniture we like.

But those are outer, material reflections. We also have inner, emotional reflections that show who we are. Our feelings reflect whether we are happy or sad. Our muscles show whether we are relaxed or stressed. Our health reflects whether we're taking good care of ourselves or not.

Many of our stressful or emotional times are accurately reflected by a cold or flu, or negative thinking. The sick feeling we may have inside about things we are dealing with can erupt into outward signs of sickness. It's okay to be sick, but it's important to look at the sickness and come in touch with what may be going on inside. Our body defines us and expresses this definition in many ways. By noticing all expressions, we are that much more in touch with who we are.

Tonight I can observe myself and the things that define me

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Making a decision

We made a decision, a decision to try this program because all else had failed. (We still doubted it would work, but we were desperate.) This decision was made mostly on hope and a belief. At first, it did not reflect belief in a Higher Power but belief in other people.

When we make a decision to do whatever is necessary, our belief can grow. It can grow to a point where no power on earth can shake our foundation. And from this foundation we can, in turn, offer hope to others in need. We can plant in them the same seeds of belief that made it possible for us to be clean and sober.

Is my belief growing?

Higher Power, help me stay strong in the program and help others who need to establish roots.

Today I will renew my commitment to the program and its members by

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

**************************************************

~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

God is not some kind of divine bellhop, to be summoned to the service of our desires or needs.

~ ABRAHAM JOSHUA HESCHEL ~

Newcomer

At a meeting about the Seventh Step, I heard the word "humility” over and over. I’m uncomfortable at the thought of people humiliating themselves; haven’t we been through enough? I’m proud of my time in recovery, and I’m learning to be proud of myself.

Sponsor

I’m glad to hear that you’ve become skeptical about humiliation: degradation, disgrace, and shame have no place in our sober lives. Humility, though some of us have confused it with humiliation, is something else entirely. For me, humility is the simple recognition that we’re not our own Higher Power. We don’t always know what’s best for us or for others. We can’t order our Higher Power around, then despair when we don’t get what we want when we want it.

Step Seven suggests that we continue cultivating the attitude of surrender that we assumed in Steps One, Two, and Three. It reminds us that we don’t do everything by ourselves. We are willing to accept help from others and from the Spirit within that wants us to heal.

In Step Seven, we ask that characteristics and behaviors that stand in the way of our sobriety be removed. We don’t demand instantaneous healing, but we do invite the process of change to begin by acknowledging our desire for it and our need for help.

Today, I’m strong enough in recovery to be willing to ask for help.

**************************************************

~ THE EYE OPENER ~

In all great emergencies, people instinctively turn to the man who has complete control of all his faculties. Few indeed are the difficulties that we can fight our way out of, yet few indeed are the difficulties that we cannot think our way out of.

Confusion is unknown in the mind that is cool, calm and collected.

**************************************************

~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

Let Nothing Disturb Me

Let nothing disturb me,
Nothing frighten me.
All things are passing;
Patient endurance
Attains all things,
Whoever has God lacks nothing
If I only have God,
I have more than enough.

~ Adapted from "St. Teresa's Bookmark" by St. Teresa of Avila ~

*************************************************

~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

BEARING FRUIT

Read Matthew 7:15-20

If man really were left without a simple practical test of religious truth, he would assuredly be in a sad plight; but happily this is not the case. Jesus, the most profound, and at the same time the most simple and practical teacher the world has ever known, has provided for this need, and has given us a universally applicable test for truth. It is as simple and direct as the acid test for gold. It is the simple question—Does the truth work in our lives? This test is so staggeringly simple that most clever people have passed it over. Truth heals the body, purifies the soul, reforms the sinner, solves difficulties, pacifies strife. There is no such thing as undemonstrated understanding. If you wish to know how you really stand spiritually, look about you at your environment, beginning with the body. There can be nothing in the soul that is not demonstrated sooner or later in the outer, and there can be nothing in the outer that does not find some correspondence in the inner. By their fruits ye shall know them (Matthew 7:20).

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Todays the Day

The only time you fail is the last time you try.

~ Anonymous ~

My friend Judith worked as scuba diver for Mel Fisher, the indefatigable explorer who searched for a sunken Spanish galleon off the Florida keys. For 16 years, Fisher and his crew probed relentlessly for the fabled Atocha, going through many investors' capital to find a treasure that was speculative at best. The crew adopted the motto, "Today's the Day!" and wore T-shirts proclaiming this affirmation in huge letters. Day after day, year after year, the crew went out, motivated only by the hope that one day today would be the day.

Then, at 1:O5 P.M. on July 20, 1985, Fisher's marine radio in Key West, Florida, carried the voice of Fisher's son Kane calling from the vessel Dauntless: "Put away the charts. We've got the Mother Lode!" Thus, history was made as Fisher's crew unearthed over $4OO million worth of gold, jewelry, and buried treasure.

If you have labored long and hard for a project you believe in, don't give up. At any moment, you could have a breakthrough that will make all the difference in your life and your world. Richard Attenborough struggled for 18 years to get his film Gandhi produced, and he went on to win numerous Academy Awards. Thomas Edison went through 50,000 experiments before he perfected the first alkaline battery. All of these productions made the world a better place for many, and perhaps your project will do the same.

I pray to hold firmly with my vision. I am open to a major breakthrough.

I will do my part and trust God to take care of the details.

July 21

Step by Step

"Could I be an alcoholic without some of the hair-raising experiences I had heard of in meetings? The answer came to me very simply in the first step of the Twelve Steps of AA. 'We admitted we were powerless over alcohol - that our lives had become unmanageable.' This didn't say we had to be in jail, 10, 50 or 100 times. It didn't say I had to lose one, five or 10 jobs. It didn't say I had to lose my family. It didn't say I had to finally live on skid row and drink bay rum, canned heat or lemon extract. It did say, 'admitted I was powerless over alcohol; that my life had become unmanageable.'" - Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, Part II ("They Stopped in Time"), Ch. 10 ("It Might Have Been Worse"), p 379.

Today, no excuses, no justifications, no rationalizations, no comparisons, no "I didn't get that bad," no fear, no shame, no anguish - only sheer guts and courage: "I am powerless." Enough is enough. No more rejecting the idea of a higher power. I have seen and lived in the darkest of places. If something so powerful like alcohol can take me there, maybe something stronger can lead me on blind faith to a better place. Today, I control that over which I am powerless by saying, "No more!" No more. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

LOVE

The 12 Step way of life is loving, not necessarily possessing.

~ Anonymous ~

When a practicing addict or alcoholic loves someone, it is not usually love that is transmitted. It's more like taking hostages. Just as our contact with a Higher Power was blocked by the disease, so also was our contact with loved ones blocked. While we were preoccupied with addiction, we could only hold on for dear life.

The expression of love turned into either a possessive hold or detached emotional unavailability. Either way the practicing addict did not make a good lover. The disease itself was a jealous suitor. It demanded a total, unconditional commitment.

When we began to recover our ability to love returned, or was born within us for the first time. Love has become a key to an ever-growing spiritual life and a new-found ability to commit and bond.

My Step work has helped me become less possessive and self-centered, and capable of loving relationships.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

Prayer is less about changing the world than it is about changing ourselves.

~ David J. Wolpe ~

Regardless of how we understand a Power greater than ourselves, prayer is an important part of our lives. Relating to a Higher Power leads us out of our egotism into a conscious relationship with powers far beyond ourselves.

How do we pray? We can use words to state what’s on our mind. We can say them silently or out loud. We can quiet our mind and simply enter into the peace of God, opening our mind to receive that deeper wisdom. Drawing pictures can be a form of prayer. Playing music or listening to music can be done prayerfully. This is not so much a time to ask for special favors as a time to enter the relationship and to receive the guidance that comes from beyond our own power and conscious will.

Today I will quiet my mind for a few minutes and enter consciously into a prayerful relationship with my Higher Power.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

A quiet mind is the best cure for a low mood.

~ Jane Nelson ~

It may seem too simple that we can change a bad mood or a bad attitude by “getting quiet.” But in fact, we can. Clearing our thoughts of anger, resentment, self-pity, and fear gives us the space to feel peaceful. And within these spaces we discover, again, our gratitude.

Each of us has countless things for which to feel grateful, but acknowledging this is hard when we are low. Let’s do it together: We have this program to help us handle whatever comes, one day at a time. We have as many friends as we want; all we have to do is go to meetings. We have a sponsor who cares; her help is never more than a phone call away. A Higher Power intervened in our lives or we wouldn’t be here. We have come to believe a Higher Power will be with us always.

Gratitude is a decision. It comes naturally when we quiet our minds of the negative noise.

If I feel low today, I have some tools to use. Letting go of the thoughts that harm me is the first one to try.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I can recover from a relapse

It scares me to think back over the last few weeks. My psychiatric symptoms returned—I felt lost and I lost control. I even had a lapse with my addiction.

The message I take from this, however, is that I have two illnesses that can affect one another sharply. I need to work a recovery program for both of them at the same time. (And even then the biological part of my psychiatric illness could flare up.) Although I can't get back these recent weeks of illness, I can decide to take better care of myself. For starters, I will make today as good as it can be.

I will look at my relapse triggers for both my addiction and my psychiatric illness, and adjust my relapse plan as necessary.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

Holdfast to dreams, for if dreams die, life is a broken-winged bird that cannot fly.

~ Langston Hughes ~

The promises of Twelve Step recovery become our dreams come true. In the early stages of our sobriety we may fear economic insecurity or have a poor self-image. It is common during the first days, months, years of restoration to meet decision-making with self-doubt and second-guessing. By nurturing our faith in the promises of our program, we maintain the courage to continue moving forward, keeping our dreams alive and reachable. On our bad days, when our own faith may falter, we can pray for the willingness to accept the faith of others in our fellowship.

We are no longer alone in our dreams. By sharing our dreams, doubts, and pain with others, and by conscious contact with our Higher Power, we are not only growing, we are already enjoying one of the fruits of recovery — the end of isolation. And in this environment of love and acceptance, our spirits soar, and our dreams are reborn.

Today help me share my feelings and focus on my dreams.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

The conversation whipped gaily around the table like rags in a high wind.

~ Margaret Halsey ~

The recovery program is based on communication and dialogue that enables members to become fully engaged in their recovery. It is not a place of silence or withholding, but of freely expressing one’s thoughts and of talking with others. The person who opens the meeting with a Story does so in order to encourage discussion. The more others share in response to the story, the greater will be the exchange of information and knowledge.

Yet communication can be hard when you have spent your life avoiding discussion or suppressing your feelings rather than expressing them. While alcohol or drugs may have made it easier for you to be more open with others, the goal of drinking or drugging was to get drunk or high so meaningful discussion could be avoided and feelings could be numbed.

Freedom from addiction provides you with freedom of expression. Your participation in discussion brings about greater self-awareness as well as a deeper understanding of others. Too, the more you converse with others, the more fully developed your social skills can be—skills that can be valuable in many other areas of your life.

I will engage in conversations and share my feelings with others so I can learn more about myself and develop more confidence.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

Sometimes I found that in my happy moments I could not believe that I had ever been miserable; I planned for the future as if happiness were all there was. . .

~ Joanna Field ~

Wouldn't it be great if we could forget all the miserable times or, better still, never have them again?

In the past, our lives have been like a roller coaster ride. The thrill of going up was something we never wanted to end; when we went down, we never imagined we could leave such depths.

We may still have moments of unhappiness, sadness, or despair, but now we have the tools to trust those moments won't be with us for long. And we don't need to desperately clutch at happiness, joy, and serenity like we used to.

Whatever kind of day we have, we can trust that the bad day can get better and the good day will be back again.

Did I have a good day or a bad one? Can I trust that today was okay, no matter what kind of day it was?

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Judging other addicts

As addicts, we tend to judge each other in a cruel way; it can help us feel better about ourselves. For example, alcoholics look down on junkies, junkies look down on speed freaks, and everyone looks down on glue- sniffers. But what’s the difference?

We’re all in this together. We’re dealing with life-and-death matters. Making value judgments about the kind or severity of an-other’s addiction is a childish and dangerous game.

Have I stopped judging other addicts?

Higher Power, help me accept myself— and accept others—in all aspects of life.

I will acknowledge someone addicted to another chemical today by

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

Mistakes are a fact of life. It is the response to error that counts.

~ NIKKI GIOVANNI ~

Newcomer

I was served something at a party that contained ingredients I wouldn’t intentionally consume; they aren’t a part of my life in recovery. I realized my mistake and stopped right away but I felt betrayed and miserable. I’ve been so careful in social situations in recovery; it just hadn’t occurred to me this time that I was in any danger. Do you consider this a slip?

Sponsor

I suspect that this is an experience you’ll never forget. Happily, you were able to stop once you realized that you were dealing with a substance that, for you, is addictive. This wasn’t a relapse, but it was a wake-up call. Instead of berating yourself for having made an honest mistake, I suggest that you share about the experience at meetings. Sharing helps us to see our experiences more clearly and to let them go. It’s also a reminder that we can’t just assume other people are looking out for our recovery. Avoiding unwanted substances or behaviors sometimes means asking questions or making special efforts. Staying away from our drug of choice is our own responsibility.

Today, I take full responsibility for my own recovery.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

To the new persons on our Program who might be confused about the Moral Inventory, it would seem that for a starter, it will suffice if they will sum up each night their actions on the past day. If their honest appraisal of that day meets their approval, if it is definitely better than the days preceding, then actually the Moral Inventory is in operation whether recognized as such or not. If daily you are making a moral study of your thoughts and actions your defects will be noticeable and you will instinctively take steps to correct them.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

Lead Me from Addiction

Lead me from addiction, in thought and action, to life,
From falsehood to truth
Lead me from despair to hope,
From fear to trust.
Lead me from resentment to acceptance,
From hate to love.
Let peace fill my heart,
Let serenity be my goal,
This I pray.

~ Adapted from the Upanishads ~

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

UNREMITTING VIGILANCE

Read Matthew 7:21-23.

We are all willing to do God's will sometimes and in some things, but until there is a complete dedication of one's whole self, there cannot be a complete demonstration. "There is no home for the soul in which there dwells the shadow of an untruth," said George Meredith.

Never is it more true than in the life of the soul that the price of liberty is eternal vigilance. We must not allow any consideration whatever, any institution, any organization, any book, or any man or woman, to come between us and our direct seeking for God. Centers, churches, schools, all fill a useful purpose in providing the physical framework for the distribution of right knowledge, but the actual work must be done by the individual.

Not every one that saith unto me, Lord, Lord, shall enter into the kingdom of heaven; but he that doeth the will of my Father which is in heaven (Matthew 7:21).

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Dare to Be Grand

To belittle is to be little.

~ Anonymous ~

My friend Ernst was a regular fellow' We played in a band together, went out for pizza, and I felt his pain as he went through a divorce. When I saw him after an absence, he told me' "I've been spending a lot of time in south America. I went to visit a friend, and one evening a neighbor came for dinner. She told me that she had a headache, and I asked her if she wanted me to pray for her. After I did, she felt better. That night she came back with her daughter, who was suffering from menstrual pain. I offered the girl prayer, and she experienced relief. The next night all of this woman's relatives showed up at the door! She had told them I was a healer. Hoping I could be of service, I prayed for them. The next day half the town was lined up for healing. After l came home, l received a call from a town representative who told me that the people would pay my airfare back if I returned. So I did, and now I go back regularly; they fly me from town to town in a helicopter, and the prayers have had wonderful results.''

Upon hearing this amazing account, my first thought was, "Ernst? Last year a bass player, this year a saint?" I had a hard time reconciling the two pictures, but then I realized I had a choice: I could negate the good that he was doing, or I could rejoice in the blessings. It felt a lot better to be excited about his success than to try and keep him small.

I realized that the cup in which I held Ernst’s good fortune would be the die I cast for my own. You will be as big as you allow him to be in your thoughts," an inner voice told me. "Keep him small, and you will be small. Let him be great, and so will you.” I decided it would be a lot more fun if we were both—and all—great.

Help me accept and celebrate the divinity in every being I meet.

I open to my full potential by blessing the good fortune of others.

July 22

Step by Step

"The words of Dr. Bob and Bill are with me all the time. Dr. Bob said, 'Love and service keep us dry,' and Bill said, 'Always we must remember that our first duty is face-to-face help for the alcoholic who still suffers.' Dr. Bob tells about keeping it simple and not to louse it up. ...(T)here are some of us who, at times, try to read extra messages and complexities into the Steps. ...AA is within the reach of every alcoholic, because it can be achieved in any walk of life and because the achievement is not ours but God's. ...(T)here is no situation too difficult, none too desperate, no unhappiness too great to be overcome in this great fellowship ..." - Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, Part II ("They Stopped in Time"), Ch 11 ("A Flower of the South"), p 395.

Today, remembering when life without drinking was unthinkable much less a dream beyond dreaming, can any problem in life of sobriety be any worse or beyond resolution or reconciliation? While AA is a lifeline, we had to muster more strength and courage than we thought we had to grab and hold on by admitting we are powerless, coming to believe and going to any lengths. Nor does the program come without responsibility as required in Step 12 - to carry the message to the alcoholic who still suffers, and to keep the program simple without inserting "extra messages and complexities." Today, if I think something in my life is hopeless, I need only remember so it was as a drinking alcoholic, to realize that nothing now is beyond hope. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

HONESTY

The 12 Step way of life is honest, not necessarily self-righteous.

~ Anonymous ~

When we allowed ourselves to drift from the real world, it was often a difficult experience to find a way back. It caused deep pain and guilt. When we confronted our life history in our Fourth Step, we found that we had to go back to the very beginning to find our way home. The trip wasn't easy, but it had to be made if we were to get on with our lives.

After we began cleaning up the wreckage of our past, we made every effort to be honest daily. Now, inventory taking is gentle, with soft edges. We remember how hard it was for us to come clean and we have sympathy for those who still face this test. We guard against being righteous in our dealings with others. We do not want to wear our honesty on our sleeves. We should not be proud that we have become honest. Honesty should be as natural for us as breathing.

When I am self-righteous in my approach to others, I am not being honest; I am just being mean.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

I not only bow to the inevitable; I am fortified by it

~ Thornton Wilder ~

Some people understand great wisdom naturally without a struggle. Most of us have endured great pain and saw our lives careen out of control before we were willing to admit that we could be powerless. We wanted our pleasures and our escapes and we did not want to conform to the truth. Our stories illustrate what happened when we refused to accept reality.

Now we also see how much stronger we become when we accept the wisdom of humility. When we put aside our hungry egos and bow to the inevitable truth, we begin to work with reality instead of against it. Our transformed lives are miracles because they grew from such out-of-control lives so filled with mistakes.

Today I am grateful for the humility and wisdom that has fortified me.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

We need to make a distinction between powerlessness and owning our power.

~ Melody Beattie ~

We are powerful women. But we may have misused our power at times. We may have tried for years to wield control over others. Unfortunately, it took too many conflicts for us to accept that we didn’t have almighty power over others. On the other hand, being powerless over others doesn’t mean being victims. Owning our personal power is healthy. There’s much that we can be responsible for. Today is a good day to focus on this. For example, we have the power to smile at everyone we meet. We can control the words we speak on every occasion. We can choose to harbor positive thoughts.

We have the power to accept all experiences as lessons. Most important, we have the power to pursue whatever brings pleasure to our lives.

I am not powerless over what I do, think, or say today. I have all the power I need to have whatever kind of day I want.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I am glad that I have accepted help

Before I hit bottom, I didn't know I needed help with my drug-using behavior. After I hit bottom and got an assessment, I didn’t want any help. I didn't want to deal with my addiction, I denied my psychiatric problems, and wanted to be left alone.

In dual recovery I now see how much I needed help, and how much help I can use. My sponsor supports my spiritual and emotional growth. My treatment team manages my psychiatric illness. Instead of feeling lost or friendless, I feel understood and cared for. And I am grateful.

I will meditate on the two ways I have changed the most since I accepted help for my dual disorder.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

The term Higher Power got (people) out of the moralistic perception and experience (of addiction).

~ John Keller ~

There are those who question whether there is a God, or a Higher Power. One example of a Higher Power’s work is that we are here today, no longer in the grip of active addiction.

As hard as recovery often is, we can always be grateful for how far we’ve come. We now have a program, people who support us, a chance to build a new life. Isn’t that progress over where we were — our days of drinking, drugging, compulsive sex, eating, or gambling? In the end, we find the change in our lives was brought about not through our own willpower, but through surrender to a Higher Power. We also find that our spirituality has nothing to do with moralism or judgment, but rather acceptance.

When we feel a need to measure how far we’ve come, we need only look at where we are today — in treatment, in a group, reading this book, thinking about recovery. Our bodies are strong and healthy, our minds focused and capable, and our faith has been renewed. Thanks to a Higher Power, active addiction is moving into our past and making way for a joyful recovery ahead.

Today I pray that I might feel gratitude for Your help in my recovery.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

Nine-tenths of wisdom consists of being wise in time.

~ Theodore Roosevelt ~

Choosing to enter the program is a wise decision. But how you choose to go through your process of recovery requires wisdom. You will need to make decisions along the way that are right for you. The basis of making these decisions depends upon whether you approach your recovery with folly, or with wisdom.

It is folly to think that you must work on everything all at once. Trying to take on too much too soon can scatter your attention. Wisdom comes from the understanding that you need to take things one step at a time.

It is folly to think you can handle your recovery on your own. Wisdom comes from refusing to go it alone and accepting the help and guidance of others.

It is folly to think that you can work through your recovery with speed. Wisdom comes from the under-standing that recovery is not a timed event but one that requires a slow, dedicated pace to learn from the past and formulate strategies to overcome each day’s challenges, and then celebrating accomplishments.

It is folly to think that everything you do in recovery will be perfect. Wisdom comes from accepting that failure may happen and applying that experience to find what could work.

I will approach my recovery with wisdom.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

When wealth is lost, nothing is lost; when health is lost, something is lost; when character is lost, all is lost.

~ German proverb ~

Imagine being in a foreign country when you suddenly discover you've lost your traveler's checks. At first you may panic and worry, but after a phone call to your bank, reimbursement will be sent. You have lost nothing.

Then imagine you've eaten a new dish that doesn't agree with you. You become so sick and weak that you're bedridden. Your ill health becomes more difficult to cope with, for you must let rest, medicine, and time restore you. For a time, you cannot sight see and experience all the festivities of the foreign land.

Now imagine you've lost your passport and all forms of identification. To the authorities you are a nameless person who may need to be detained. You have now experienced the biggest loss of all, that of your character and self. Money can be replaced, health can be restored, but losing who you are and what you stand for cannot easily be regained. Hold fast to yourself. It is richer than money and more valuable than good health.

Tonight I can hold dear who I am. I need to learn my possessions and my body are mere supports for myself.

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Being rational

As practicing addicts, we were impulsive. We just did what we felt like doing. We didn’t think things through. Actually, we didn’t think much at all. We often acted irrationally.

As recovering addicts, we may still have some distorted ideas and may still behave irrationally at times. That’s okay. But if what we’re doing seems serious to our sponsor or a couple of recovering friends, we need to talk more about our actions.

Am I learning to use reason to test my actions?

Higher Power, help me plant both feet on the ground and to practice sharing my thoughts.

I will talk with my sponsor today about

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

Home wasn’t built in a day.

~ JANE ACE ~

Newcomer

I’m a lot better than when I was active in my addiction. But parts of my life still feel beyond my control. I don’t mean earthquakes or floods. I mean getting to the dentist, repairing the car, doing the laundry, eating well. There are a lot of things I’m not taking care of the way I think I should.

Sponsor

Part of applying Steps Six and Seven to our lives is to take a look at simple behaviors that are keeping us uncomfortable and unbalanced in our recovery. Though we’re not using addictive substances or behaviors, we may still be putting off the dentist, living on fast food, neglecting personal appearance, having no time for home or car maintenance, or letting bills pile up. The problems may seem minor—such things as always arriving ten minutes late to work, routinely losing keys or eyeglasses, never finding time for exercise— but they point to where we’re stuck in our process of recovery. Over time, they pose risks to, rather than support of, our health and serenity.

We don’t expect overnight cures, and we don’t demand perfection of ourselves. We begin with awareness of what isn’t working well for us. Then, each day, we take a small step toward change.

Today, I acknowledge a habit that stands between me and my serenity. I’m willing to take one small step toward changing it.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

Those of us who have our drinking tamed do not necessarily have our thinking or our actions under control. We are not under control until all our actions are under the domination of our intelligence, and our intelligence cannot properly function until we have thoroughly schooled it into instinctive sober and sane thinking. This constitutes one whale of a big job, one that will last a lifetime—but we can start on it today.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

I Ask Not for Easier Tasks

O God, I ask not for easier tasks.
I ask for stronger aptitudes and greater talents to meet any tasks which may come my way
Help me to help others so their lives may be made easier and happier.
Strengthen my confidence in others in spite of what they may do or say.
Give me strength to live according to the Golden Rule, enthusiasm to inspire those around me, sympathy to help lighten the burdens of those who suffer, and a spirit of joy and gladness to share with others.

~ by Harry A. Bullis ~

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

A ROCK FOUNDATION

Read Matthew 7:24-27.

Therefore whosoever heareth these sayings of mine, and doeth them, I will liken him unto a wise man, which built his house upon a rock (Matthew 7:24).

One of the oldest symbols for the human soul is that of a building, sometimes a dwelling house, and sometimes a temple. The first thing that has to be done by the builder of a house is to select a sound foundation. On the shifting sands of the desert it is impossible to build anything at all, and so when the desert dweller intends to put up a permanent structure he looks about for a rock. Now the Rock is one of the Bible terms for the Christ, and the implication is very obvious. Christ is the one and only foundation upon which we can build the temple of the regenerated soul with safety. As long as we are depending upon something less than that Rock—upon will power, upon so-called material security, upon the good will of others, or upon our own personal resources—we are building upon sand, and great will be our fall.

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

On The Threshold

Do not look to the god of sickness for healing but only to the god of love, for healing is the acknowledgment of Him.

~ A Course in Miracles ~

My friend Bobbi is a successful anesthesiologist. When she sustained a leg injury, she had to deal with her own pain, which was humbling for her since she spent her life helping others numb theirs. Ironically, no practitioner that Bobbi consulted could alleviate her distress until she discovered an acupuncturist. After just a few treatments, her pain dissipated. “As much as we know about medicine, "Bobbi confessed, "we know very little; the frontier of healing is much grander than any of us ever imagined."

Modern medicine has relieved much pain and saved many lives and is to be richly applauded. lam very grateful that my mother's life was comforted and extended through surgery. Yet, reparative medicine is but one aspect of healing. Physical manipulation of organs is rudimentary in the face of what truly heals. In one of the Star Trek films, Dr. McCoy travels from the 23rd century to visit a 19BOs hospital. His eyes bulge as he observes what he considers Neanderthal medical practices. "Unbelievable" he exclaims.

True healing is based on light, sound, prayer, right use of mind, and living in harmony with nature. Even now, laser and sound therapies are coming into vogue. When I last had my teeth cleaned at the dentist's office, the hygienist used an ultrasound pick that shook plaque off my teeth through inaudible vibrations.

Let us usher in the next level of healing now. Begin to pray, chant, send light, hold positive mental images, and reconnect with nature. Healing can be easy, gentle, and illuminating. We appreciate medicine as we know it, and we take our next step toward healing from the inside out.

Help me know the true essence of healing. Let me give and receive healing as You do.

God is the healer. God can heal anything. I am whole now.

July 23

Step by Step

"I took everything that AA had to give me. Easy does it, first things first, one day at a time. It was at that point that I reached surrender. I heard one very ill woman say that she didn't believe in the surrender part of the AA program. ...Surrender to me has meant the ability to run my home, to face my responsibilities as they should be faced, to take life as it comes to me day by day, and work my problems out. That's what surrender has meant to me. I surrendered once to the bottle, and I couldn't do these things." - Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, Part II ("They Stopped in Time"), Ch. 4 ("The Housewife Who Drank at Home"), p 340.

Today, surrender and its various interpretations that can be integrated into my own recovery. While surrender arguably may be interpreted most often as entrusting our very lives to a higher power, surrendering is regaining the ability to take back and carry out our responsibilities and meet problems head-on and work them out. This requires sobriety and being clean. Today, I long for those promises of recovery and, today, I become responsible enough to work for them. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

HONOR

The 12 Step way of life is honorable, not necessarily prideful.

~ Anonymous ~

A proud air serves no purpose for a person in recovery, other than being a warning flag to all. Proud people fall hard. Honorable and humble people are so close to the ground they can't fall. When we are too proud, we act self-righteous. Self-righteousness says we know more than anyone else. and we are out to push that point. All we really know is what we experience in our recovery. We can contribute nothing more than truth. Everything else is opinion.

When we become prideful about our experience, we look like fools, for all of us make mistakes. When we are full of pride about our opinions, we act crazy, because they all too often take us on fantasy rides into the land of nowhere.

I am to be humble in all my affairs. Humility teaches me I can be honorable and honest. This will bring honor to my life, love to my heart, and peace to my soul.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

Man needs difficulties; they are necessary for health.

~ Carl Jung ~

When we are in the midst of problems and stresses, we can gather great strength from looking back at how far we have already come. True maturity gives us the perspective to see the bigger picture and to know that our present problems and distress will heal and pass into the background. At the same time, we can see from looking back that the obstacles we faced have changed us, and we have become stronger and better men as a result.

Today’s obstacles, whether large or small, call us to bring our best wisdom in meeting them. We cannot foresee exactly how successful we will be. But we can resolve to be the best kind of man we know how to be, with honesty and gentleness. And that is a success we can guarantee.

Today I will meet the obstacles I face with all the maturity I’ve got and with the strength of my honesty.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

When I lean on a door and it collapses, it can-not all be attributed to my strength; something must be said for the infirm condition of the door. This keeps my ego in check.

~ Ruth Humlecker ~

We love to take credit for God’s work. Because our will is consistent with God’s on occasion, we fool ourselves into thinking we control events and people. Unfortunately, when we try to force conditions to suit our plans, we frequently trample on the spirit of others.

We are too invested in being right. When we are not right—which is often—we are certain others measure us as unworthy. Our self-absorption tells us that others see us through our eyes. In reality, others seldom take notice of our failings. We win some battles. We successfully orchestrate some experiences. God’s outcomes match our desires when appropriate. But we aren’t the power behind the successes; we are only the instrument.

I am not the cause of someone’s success or failure today. I may help God’s plan, but I can’t make it happen.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

My Twelve Step group is a home

When I was a child growing up, there was both addiction and psychiatric illness in my family. In my house there was too much fear, chaos, and neglect. There was too little "home" in my house when I was growing up.

As an adult, I'm working through my own addiction and emotional illness. But now I've found a home that always offers me safety, stability, and nurturing: my Twelve Step group. Where else am I always welcomed, whether happy or sad? Listened to, whether foolish or wise? Who else offers me help without getting in my way? Cares about my successes and my failures? Where else can I be fully myself and yet be respected? This is why I call it home.

I will meditate on my experience of home—what I missed, what I am now getting, what else I want.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

We should have much peace if we would not busy ourselves with the sayings and doings of others.

~ Thomas k Kempis ~

One of the things that seemed to take a good portion of our time during active addiction was minding everybody’s business but our own. We had an opinion on every subject, knew all the details of other people’s lives, and could solve all their problems, “if only they would let me!” Why was it, then, that we had so much trouble in our own lives? Our Twelve Step program teaches us we’d been trying to control everyone else’s life because we knew we couldn’t control our own. Accepting this fact and turning our thoughts inward started us thinking about our own backyards. The more we learned about ourselves, the less we felt a need to control others. In short, we learned how to responsibly mind our own business.

Now, when we find ourselves trying to solve other peoples’ problems, we can ask ourselves, “Am I more interested in others because I don’t want to work on my own issues?” This gentle reminder will help us get our thoughts back on track. And when the time comes to offer genuine help to another, we can be sure we’ll do it humbly, and out of true concern.

Today let me mind my own business first.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

Each of us has something to give that no one else has.

~ Elizabeth O’Connor ~

Have you ever looked at others and wished you had their qualities and talents? Have you ever thought that your life would be better if you could be just like them? Admiration of others is not necessarily a bad thing. What you admire in them can help you to focus on similar things you would like to develop in yourself. But when admiration goes too far it can dominate your thinking, turn your focus away from yourself, and develop into jealousy.

When you are jealous of what others have, you take precious time away from yourself. Rather than count your blessings, you count theirs. Instead of considering your worth, you consider theirs. Rather than feel secure in yourself, you see their security. Jealousy is, quite simply, an emotion based on fear. It is a feeling that you will never measure up, never be loved, never achieve success, never develop talents and skills, and never do anything as good as someone else.

Rather than spend your life looking outwardly at others, turn your thoughts inward. Visualize jealousy as weeds that must be removed. Place your energy on what things you would like to change in yourself, and take action.

I will remove the weeds of jealousy from my mind so I can make myself into a beautiful, flourishing garden.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

The measure of success is not whether you have a tough problem to deal with, but whether it's the same problem you had last year.

~ John Foster Dulles ~

Have we been wanting to make changes in our relationships, our careers, our education, our behaviors? What efforts have we made? How much have we changed in the last year? Have we truly made the physical, emotional, and spiritual changes we needed? Or have we only paid lip service to those changes? There may be many things we want to alter in our lives. But unless we stop talking and start doing something, those changes won't happen.

We can start by setting a small, easily attainable goal. For example, we may wish to change our behavior of raising our voice. We might set this goal: "For the next twenty-four hours, I will not raise my voice—no matter what buttons are pushed in me or reactions I have." When that goal is achieved, then set another small goal. Breaking down each change into small, easily attainable steps is like working the program: a step-by-step, gradual process toward greater health and happiness.

I can set at least one easily attainable goal. I will share that goal with another and ask for help when I need it.

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Baby-sitting

If someone truly wants our help to stop using mood-altering chemicals, we have a responsibility to do all we can. But demanding that someone accept our help or baby-sitting someone who continues to use probably does more harm than good.

Deep down, we know when someone is sincerely seeking help. While it is our job to carry the message, we must avoid trying to fix someone who is not yet ready to quit. It works better if we tell them we’re happy to talk anytime they want to call.

Am I learning the boundary between help-ing and fixing?

Higher Power, help me help others according to their needs, in the best way I can.

I will concentrate on helping myself today by

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

The creative thinker is flexible and adaptable and prepared to rearrange his thinking.

~ A. J. CROPLEY ~

Newcomer

I’m in a crisis. I got myself into it; there’s no one else to blame. I’m not sure what I’m going to do about it yet; I’m going back and forth over the alternatives. I can’t think about anything else right now.

Sponsor

Your word “alternatives” is a helpful one. In most situations, we have more options to choose from than we can see at first. There usually is a “Plan B,” if we’re willing to open ourselves to it.

When I was active in my addiction—and for a period of time in recovery as well—I frequently found myself in the middle of a crisis. The sense of always being in crisis comes from a refusal to see that we have choices. For example, we may leave on time for an appointment but find ourselves in a traffic jam caused by an accident. If lateness is the inevitable result, we can choose to punish ourselves with whatever lateness represents to us, or we can say to ourselves, “I guess the schedule I had in mind for today has been changed; I may as well accept it.” Without the additional burden of self-punishment, we can see things in perspective. Whatever happens, we don’t pick up our addictive substance or behavior. We can turn to our Higher Power in prayer and meditation to help us regain a sense of balance.

Today, I’m open to choosing among alternatives, as I substitute the word “situation” for the word “problem.”

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

We alcoholics feared loneliness as much as anything else on earth. Even the companionship of the bull pen was preferable to being alone. The quality of our company made no difference, for it was preferable to our own thoughts; certainly, it was not as critical. We just couldn't stand our own company.

In AA we were told to establish conscious contact with the Man Upstairs and we marveled at the ease with which this was accomplished after a little effort on our part. Now we are never less alone than when we are alone.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

Deliver Me From Fear

O Lord, I ask you to deliver me from
The fear of the unknown future,
The fear of failure,
The fear of poverty,
The fear of sadness,
The fear of loneliness,
The fear of sickness and pain,
The fear of age, and
The fear of death.
Help me, Higher Power, by Your grace, to love
Fill my heart with cheerful courage
And loving trust in You.

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

FINAL AUTHORITY

And it came to pass, when Jesus had ended these sayings, the people were astonished at his doctrine:

For he taught them as one having authority, and not as the scribes (Matthew 7:28-29).

It is always so. The message of Jesus Christ is utterly revolutionary for it turns our gaze from the outside to the inside, and from man and his works to God.

He taught as one having authority. The greatest glory of the Spiritual Basis is that you begin to know. When you have obtained the smallest demonstration by means of prayer, you have experienced something that never leaves you. You have the witness of Truth within yourself, and this is the only authority worth having.

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Is That So?

That that is, is. That that is not, is not. Is that it? It is.

~ Anonymous ~

When a young Japanese woman became pregnant by a sailor, she did not want the responsibility of raising the child, and named a local monk as the father. The woman's father angrily took the child to the gate of the monastery where the monk lived and informed him, “My daughter has told me you are the father of this child; now You must raise him.”

The monk thought for a moment and answered, “Is that so?” He took the child and cared for him as if he were his own son.

Seven years later on her deathbed, the boy's mother confessed that the child was not the monk’s. Her father returned to the monastery and humbly apologized to the monk. "My daughter has admitted her dishonesty. I will take the child back now."

Again the monk thought for a moment, and answered, “Is that so?" Then he let the child go.

True mastery lies in flowing with the events of life. We are empowered when we assume that everything comes from God and goes back to God. Nothing in form lasts forever, and when we can accept change, we are free. All pain is born of resistance. An attitude of non-resistance liberates tremendous energy. Pain arises when we fight against what is happening, and peace comes when we accept what is.

What in your life are you resisting? How much peace could you gain by letting what is, be? Practice the art of allowing, and you will come close to heaven as you discover the hand of God behind everything'

Help me trust in the flow of life. Show me how to accept what is, with love and appreciation.

Divine order is operating here and now.

July 24

Step by Step

Today, gratitude as attitude. Gratitude for even the smallest of gains as opposed to complaining that the gains aren't big enough, and my attitude is a reflection of the quality of my sobriety. Even in the most demanding of days when most things seem to go wrong and few of them right, I must pause before reacting in a way I will likely regret later and remember my attitude in my drinking days. Then, my attitude was based on feelings of hopelessness, helplessness, fear, anger, regret, revenge, apathy and self-centeredness. They are the character defects as confessed in my Fourth Step, and confession alone does not mean those defects are gone. They remain; my Program is to improve on them day by day until they exist no more. Today, my attitude is not to rekindle the sins of my character but to disempower them with humility, empathy, answering a call to service and remembering, always, that my attitude defines me as either sober or as a dry drunk. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

ENVIABLE

The 12 Step way of life is enviable, not necessarily smug.

~ Anonymous ~

We have many moments in our recovery when we close our eyes and wonder how could we be so lucky and so blessed. There is no question that life in recovery is very different from the life before it. What we could not achieve on our own, we now can achieve through the Steps. We have a sense of having "made it." We have found what others are still striving for. At times we do feel special and maybe just a little smug.

It is true we are in an enviable position. We have become happier through a most unlikely journey. The disease which cost us the most is now the means to our serenity. We hear people speak with gratitude about their disease, and we know exactly what they mean.

I am reminded that I have what I have by no power of my own. It is the grace of my Higher Power that has brought me to the Fellowship.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

When the mind is still ...it returns to itself, and by means of itself ascends to the thought of God.

~ Saint Basil the Great ~

Our path is not leading us toward a physical place but toward the kind of person we are becoming. The Twelve Steps guide us to use daily meditation as a tool that helps us shape this new person. We take time for quiet moments, we still our thoughts, and in the stillness, without effort, our minds naturally open to introduce ourselves to ourselves. We become increasingly honest with ourselves and some would say we hear the voice of God.

Daily readings can set a calming tone. Then we take a period of time, perhaps twenty minutes, for solitude undisturbed by others or by distracting telephones or television. We find that when we set aside this quiet time, we actually seem to have more time, not less, for the other demands in our lives.

Today I will take a period of quiet time to come back to myself.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

Yes, I made up my mind... today I do have a choice, and I like the idea of being a smiling Goddess.

~ Betty MacDonald ~

Many of us grew up either afraid of making choices or unaware that multiple options were open to us. Until we get accustomed to the idea of deciding for ourselves what to do first, where to live, what to believe, we are overwhelmed with the possibilities. Yet in recovery, we are thrilled with the knowledge that we are re-creating ourselves. Recovery has given us this gift. Our continued sobriety means we can keep it.

Giving to others the love we now know honors the Goddess within. Choosing to share love with others gives us greater awareness of our inner Goddess every day.

I will make the choice to love others today. The more love I give away, the more love I’ll feel.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I am learning how to relax

Some days I can't think with all the noises and voices around me. I want it all to stop. Some days I feel trapped.

At times like these it helps me to keep in mind that, first of all, it's OK to be sensitive to noise (no matter what others might say). Second, I can cope. One skill I need to remember is to get comfortable and take a deep breath to the count of four—one, two, three, four—and then breathe out to the count of four—one, two, three, four. And then do this exercise for four minutes. I am finding out that when I breathe slowly, I tend to relax. I will be OK.

I will practice my breathing exercises four times today: four counts in, four out, for four minutes.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

We can try to avoid making choices by doing nothing, but even that is a decision.

~ Gary Collins ~

Now, with alcohol and other drugs gone, we have our choices back. While we can’t choose our feelings, we can choose our behavior, and isn’t that a relief? We may feel irritated at a driver who’s going too slow, can think the situation through and decide how to act. We could tailgate, honk our horns and carry on, or safely switch lanes and accept what we cannot change.

In dealing with spouses, colleagues, and family, we now have the sober mind and time to stop, think, and act, rather than reacting whenever someone pushes our buttons.

Having choices again can be a little unnerving because we’re rusty at it, but it also brings great freedom. No one wants to feel enslaved, and that’s exactly how it feels when we let others control our behavior. We open our lives up to a full range of responses when we stop trying to control or to punish others with our anger. In making responsible choices, we find real freedom.

Today let me accept responsibility for how I behave.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

I have a “carpe diem” mug and, truthfully, at six in the morning the words do not make me want to seize the day. They make me want to slap a dead poet.

~ Joanne Sherman ~

How you begin the day often sets the tone for how you approach the rest of the day. Get out of bed groggy, and you may find yourself slogging through the morning and afternoon. Hit the snooze button several times, and you may spend the rest of the day wishing you could put everything on hold. Start out late, and your day may be off-schedule and filled with stress. Snap at others right from the start, and you may come off like a snapping turtle throughout the day.

Just as the recovery program teaches you a different way to live your life, you can apply new ways of doing things to transform your morning attitude. Take care of some chores in the evening so you’re not overwhelmed in the morning. Use meditation and positive thinking before you fall asleep to develop a good frame of mind for the morning. Go to bed earlier to get extra sleep.

You can wake up in the morning feeling like an ogre, or in a positive frame of mind. The choice is yours.

I will practice good evening rituals so I can more fully appreciate the start of the day.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

This s a delicious evening when the whole body is one sense, and imbibes delight through every pore.

~ Henry David Thoreau ~

Natural beauty can be spectacular. There is the bright, full moon, glowing orange or ethereal white. Perhaps we see it reflected on shimmering waters of a lake, like silver streaks on a cool, black mirror. City lights transform even the smoggiest and grayest of cities into a magical kingdom of colors. The rhythmical sound of rain on a road, cleansing the night air, lulls us into soothing sleep.

If we use our senses to their fullest, we can come closer to our Higher Power. We can open our eyes to the silhouettes of the trees and buildings around us, to the colorful lights. We can listen to bullfrogs croaking, crickets chirping, or the wind howling. Each night we can breathe deeply o[ the cool, clean air, almost feeling the evening on our face.

Just as our Higher Power created fall foliage, lush forests, and blue skies, so did our Higher Power create beauty in the night. It is up to us to open our senses and take it in.

I will experience the night's beauty. I can be grateful for the night as well as the day.

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Sharing a common goal

Since we’re going the same way, let’s go together. We may have some differences, but let’s work them out and respect each other’s opinions. Since our goal is the same, you help me and I’ll help you.

But let’s never withhold love as a weapon against one another. Since we are held together by a critical common solution, let’s not cause one another any suffering.

Am I learning to emphasize our common purpose?

Higher Power, help me see that what we share in the fellowship is more important than what separates us.

Today I will strengthen our common cause by

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

I think of my illness as a school, and finally I’ve graduated.

~ GILDA RADNER ~

Newcomer

Things were going okay for a while, but now; suddenly, I have to drop everything and deal with a crisis. It feels so unfair—this wasn’t supposed to happen in recovery.

Sponsor

We’re not promised a problem-free life as a reward for maintaining recovery. Like all human beings, we experience things beyond our control. Disasters may occur in spite of how “good” we’ve been, how hard we’ve tried, how faithfully we’ve showed up for life. It may seem unfair, but it’s reality.

We can take care of ourselves in a crisis by not assigning blame, not fantasizing about rescue, not refusing help, not escalating the problem through unsober behavior. We use whatever program tools we can—meetings, phone calls, prayer. We give our bodies the best nourishment, exercise, rest, and care we can. By maintaining our mental, spiritual, and physical health in these ways, we are better equipped to cope with crisis situations.

Today, I live in reality. I’m not a victim. I’m not alone.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

Last year I attended the Southeastern Convention at Miami Beach and I had a grand time. Yet I do not recall, offhand, the name of a single speaker I heard, but I do remember the name of the man whom I called upon as a Twelfth Stepper.

I fretted somewhat, at the time, that this man caused me to miss several meetings of the Convention, yet today it is MY highlight of the affair. This man is happy on the AA Program and I am happy that I was forced to forego some of the pleasure I travelled all the way to Miami to enjoy.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

Gratitude and Joy

Dear God,

May I write the wrongs done to me in sand, but write the good things that happen to me in stone

Help me let go of all emotions such as resentment and retaliation, which diminish me, and hold on to the emotions such as gratitude and joy, which increase me.

~ Arabic proverb ~

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

WORSHIP MEANS VICTORY

Give unto the Lord the glory due unto his name; worship the Lord in the beauty of holiness (Psalm 29:2).

God is bigger than any problem.

God in you is greater than any difficulty that you have to meet.

God cares for you more than it is possible for any human being to realize.

God can help you in proportion to the degree in which you worship Him. You worship God by really putting your trust in Him instead of in outer conditions, or in fear, or in depression, or in seeming dangers, and so forth.

You worship God by recognizing His presence everywhere, in all people and conditions that you meet; and by praying regularly.

You pray well when you pray with joy.

Glory ye in his holy name: let the heart of them rejoice that seek the Lord (Psalm 105:3).

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

More or Better?

We pray to be changed at depth.

~ Alcoholics Anonymous tenet ~

In the movie The Jerk, Steve Martin plays Navin, a poor Southern boy who grows up in a ramshackle old house that looks like it's made toothpicks and would blow over if a strong breeze came along. Navin grows up and heads for the big city, where, through a quirk, he makes a fortune and sends large monthly contributions to his parents for many years. Finally, Navin goes home, looking forward to seeing the big, beautiful house his parents have built with the money he sent. When he arrives, Navin discovers a sprawling version of the same shack he left. Although the "mansion" is 20 times the size of the original, the quality of construction is the same, and it too looks like it would blow over in a moment. It is not really better, just bigger.

If we truly wish to change our life, we must change its quality, not just its quantity. More doesn't necessarily mean better. Cosmetic improvements are meaningless; it is internal advancement we seek. A country singer ruefully likens her lover's insincere attempts to change himself to "rearranging chairs on the deck of a sinking ship."

ln 1960, FCC chairman Newton Minow described the world of television as a "vast wasteland." At that time there were but five or six television channels in each city. Now with the advent of cable and satellite, many areas have over 100 channels, and we hear talk of expansion to 500. For the most part, however, the wasteland has simply expanded. We have more but not necessarily better. By contrast, a few solid enterprises such as public television are making huge contributions to quality entertainment and education.

Before you ask for more, be sure you are not inviting more of the same. Ask for better.

I want to grow in peace and awareness. Help me deepen my love.

My lift expands as my consciousness grows.

July 25

Step by Step

Today, self-pity comes off my dance card. Just as alcohol drove me to being sick and tired of being sick and tired, so it goes with self-pity. The reason for self-pity can never be justified. For me, self-pity ranks behind resentment as the quickest and surest way to a slip or relapse. I have to ask why I harbor pity for myself. Is it because I endured so many travails during and after my drinking days? Or maybe I lost a job or two, got a lifetime driver's license suspension, drank my way into a sea of debt, got a divorce or two, have family who still wants nothing to do with me. Or maybe there's a more "acceptable" reason like death taking too much from me. And what is the function of self-pity? Maybe my ego still requires me to be the center of attention, or maybe I have a victim complex, or maybe I'm looking for justification to start drinking again - or to keep drinking. Or maybe I simply don't know how to deal with whatever psychic pain exists. Whatever its reason or purpose, self-pity serves only to impose isolation and keeps me from feeling and living something better. Today, just as it did with drinking, the same goes for self-pity: enough's enough! And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

SPIRITUAL

The 12 Step way of life is spiritual, not necessarily religious.

~ Anonymous ~

The journey to spirituality does not pass through any particular religious tradition. The spiritual life we speak of in recovery is not about the adoption of ceremony or conversion to a certain kind of organized thinking. Spirituality has to do with the quality of our relationship to whatever or whomever is most important in our life.

We come to the spiritual through our discovery of a Power other than ourselves. This Power is not something over which we have any personal control. We can only identify it as higher than we are. As we continue to work the Steps, our experience with our Higher Power grows. We trust the influence this Power has over our lives. Many of us feel comfortable calling this Power God. Some will continue their journey back into a particular religion.

Spirituality found within the Program is not religious. Each individual in recovery comes to terms with their own spirit-life in their own way, as I have come to terms with mine.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

The pursuit of perfection often impedes improvement

~ George F. Will ~

When we are haunted by feelings of shame or self- loathing, anything less than perfection can remind us of those feelings. We seek straight A’s and when we succeed, we feel that it was only barely good enough. Sometimes we may even avoid trying something new because we refuse to make the necessary mistakes involved. In contrast, it is said that Persian rug weavers, in the course of creating their stunningly beautiful carpets, deliberately weave at least one mistake into every rug so as to not compete with God.

We could all take a lesson for our lives from those weavers. On a day when we are overcome by anxiety about making a mistake, we can be more relaxed and more effective if we start out deliberately intending to make at least one mistake before the day is over. That way, we can make a place for imperfection and go on from there to do our best and learn from the experience.

Today I will make a place for imperfection and learn from my mistakes.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

Dare to be empty.
Dare to let go.
Dare to believe.

~ Elisabeth L. ~

We seldom receive a direct, visual experience of God. Most of us only sense a Presence, or perhaps see the evidence of God’s help. It takes profound faith to live moment by moment in the knowledge that God is always here.

The founders of AA understood how difficult it is to believe. The tools of this program can help us with our struggle. In using them, we let God guide us, protect us, comfort us, and take charge of everyone else too. Asking sponsors for examples of how they have let go will help us see our opportunities more clearly. Coupling their suggestions and experiences with practice at using the Steps and slogans will strengthen our willingness to turn to God for everything.

I will be able to let God take charge if I rely on the example and experience of the friends I know I can trust. Today can be easy.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I am getting to know myself

Before I got into dual recovery, I usually didn't know what I was feeling. Often I didn't know what I wanted—except to avoid the pain of my emotional illness. I couldn't think things through, I just reacted impulsively. I was running away and running on automatic.

Now that I'm sober and stable, I am slowing down. My thinking is clearer and I'm recognizing more of my feelings (it's scary at rimes). In my support group, I have a safe place to find out what I want. In short, I am learning about myself through others who share my problems. Despite what I used to believe, I see that I am not alone and I am not a bad person.

I will write out a description of two things I've learned about myself this week.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

They will never do what I ask them to do!

~ Anonymous ~

Our urges to get others to do what we want them to do raises a very important question about our happiness and how we achieve it. They suggest that our satisfaction in life comes from outside ourselves, from having others always react the way we would like them to react. When others don’t react the way we want, we are outraged and disappointed. Life can be frustrating if our satisfaction always depends on how people react to us.

On the other hand, if we let go of the need to control others, or the need to have others always react and behave as we would have them react and behave, life is a lot easier and certainly less frustrating! Then, satisfaction comes from doing the best we are able to do in life, and not from how others react to us. Learning to let go takes time and faith in our Higher Power. But it is central to our recovery and peace of mind. Being responsible for our own lives now brings joy and freedom.

Today help me lead my life as best I can, and let others do the same with their lives.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

I am filled with confidence, not that I shall succeed in worldly things, but that even when things go badly for me I shall still find life good and worth living.

~ Etty Hillesum ~

It can be impossible to achieve your goals and aspirations when you have little confidence in yourself. Whether your confidence is low because of the continual criticism you received as a child or a result of the accumulated failures, losses, and disappointments you experienced in your life, it can be reassuring to know that your confidence can always be built or rebuilt.

To begin you need to accept responsibility as the builder. While others can provide you with support, they don’t have the tools and materials.

To create this structure, you will need a large bucket of positivity. Negative thoughts are like bent nails; they go nowhere. So discard them and replace them with positive thoughts. You will also need assorted pieces of wood. A structure is composed of many smaller pieces of wood, not one enormous piece. So set small goals that can be easily achieved. The more you achieve, the greater your confidence will be. Finally, you will need a fresh coat of paint. When you take time on your outward appearance, you can feel better about yourself.

Today I will focus on building myself into a structure of self-confidence.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

Anyhow, I say, the God I been praying and writing to is a man. And act just like all the other mens I know. Trifling, forgetful and lowdown.

~ Alice Walker, The Color Purple ~

When many of us first came into the program and heard the words "God" or "Higher Power," we may have wanted to walk out. We may have thought God a kind of heavenly scorekeeper who lived by "an eye for an eye; a tooth for a tooth." But we learned in the program that Higher Power could be any image we chose. Some of us found it easier to picture a pleasurable image when we thought of God, like a mountain stream. Some of us began conversing with an "invisible" friend. We learned any image we chose was okay, as long as we believed a Power greater than ourselves could restore our sanity.

Some of us may still have trouble with the concept of a Higher Power. lf we remember we don't have to hold the negative images we grew up with, it may be easier to create a spiritual image with which we can be comfortable. Our Higher Power can be whatever or whomever we choose because it is a personal belief'

I can remember my Higher Power is my personal belief, not o religious dogma.

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Practicing the principles

Our program and its principles apply to every area of our lives. Sometimes people say that they would lose their livelihood if they applied the principles to their work. But this is probably not true and speaks of fear. If we must lie or be hypocritical in any area of our lives, then we are not applying the principles.

Once we realize that it is reassuring and rewarding—not threatening—to let God work through us all the time, we will feel genuine, we will feel integrity, we will feel at peace.

Do I practice these principles in all my affairs?

Higher Power, help me see whether any area of my life is missing the benefit of the principles.

The principle I will apply today in all my affairs is

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

Our most memorable days are marked by an absence of control.

~ PATRICIA SMITH ~

Newcomer

My financial situation has unexpectedly changed, and I might have to rethink certain plans. Even though I intend to follow the principles of the program—owning up to my responsibilities honestly and promptly—I can’t help feeling scared. I’m afraid to face certain people I have to change my arrangements with.

Sponsor

Though reliance on our Higher Power isn’t something we reserve just for emergencies, there’s nothing like a financial situation for the chance to exercise our faith.
When I was active in my addiction, the thought of powerlessness filled me with fear. I often lived as if I’d been cast in a melodrama whose inevitable outcome was shame and disgrace. Today, situations don’t have to assume the proportions of a crisis. I can go to a meeting and share, talk things over with trustworthy persons, and remember that I am more than my problem. If debt is involved, whether of money or time, I can own it honestly and set realistic goals to resolve it. Self-esteem and a sense of perspective make it possible to handle situations more calmly. I don’t pick up the old attitudes of my active life, any more than I would pick up an addictive substance.

We can face difficult situations with the sober confidence that comes from faith in our Higher Power and in the process of recovery. Today, I have the serenity that comes from living in faith, not fear.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

Poverty will often force a man into sobriety because of the lack of funds with which to purchase more to drink. Prosperity on the other hand gives us the money, the leisure and inclination to celebrate that prosperity.

Far too frequently the new man climbs out of the gutter, gets a job and becomes re-established with his family, and does well until a payday puts cash in his pocket again.

That bank roll which you think you want may be the very thing you least want.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

A Useful Life

My Creator, You have examined my heart and know everything about me.
You chart the path ahead of me, and tell me where to stop and rest.
Every moment, You know where I am.
You know what I am going to say before I say it.
This is too glorious, too wonderful to believe!
I can never be lost to Your Spirit!
I can never get away from my God!
If I ride the morning winds to the farthest oceans, even there Your hand will guide me, Your strength will support me.
Search me, O God, and know my heart.
Test my thoughts;
Point out anything You find in me that makes You sad, and lead me along the path of a useful life.

~ Adapted from Psalm 139:1-10 and 23-24 ~

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

TAKING MATERIAL STEPS

When you set out to solve a problem by means of prayer you should take all the ordinary normal steps in addition. Do not simply pray and then sit down and wait for something dramatic to happen. For instance, if you are praying for a position, you should pray for it as well as you know how each day, and then go out and visit agencies or prospective employers, write applications, or insert advertisements in suitable periodicals.

If you want a healing, treat about it in whatever way you usually find to be best and, in addition, take whatever material steps seem to be appropriate.

If your business is not prospering, have a checkup to discover if you are managing it efficiently. If you find weak points, as you almost certainly will, you must correct them forthwith.

We certainly cannot expect ro go on breaking the laws of the plane on which we live, and expect prayer to compensate for this foolishness.

Whatsoever thy hand findeth to do, do it with thy might . . . (Ecclesiastes 9:10).

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Right Mind' Right Time

Miracles wait not on time.

~ A Course in Miracles ~

Harbin Hot Springs is a lovely spa in the northern California mountains where the pace of life is slowed to a gentle flow. In that place, anxious rushing seems other-worldly by contrast. One morning on my way to the mineral baths, I saw a clever sign: If you are in a hurry, you are in the wrong place.

We can extrapolate that principle to all of life: If you are in a hurry, you are in the wrong consciousness. Hurry is usually motivated by fear and anxiety; we worry that we will be late or not have enough time to do what we need to do. Rushing is a symptom of lack thinking, indicating we believe in “not-enoughness.” The principle of abundance applies not only to money or things; it applies equally to time. If you know you live in an abundant universe, you trust that you have enough time to do what you need to do.

When we are in the consciousness of peace, time becomes elastic; it will expand or contract to accommodate our purpose. One Saturday I arrived at the post office to mail a package ten minutes before the noon closing time. When I reached the window, the clerk informed me that I had not sealed the box properly and that I would have to buy some tape. I decided I would not rush, and if Spirit wanted the package mailed, it would have to create time for it. I drove to a shopping center two blocks away, found the tape in the back of a department store, grabbed a package of laundry detergent on sale, paid for the items, and drove back to the post office, all at a relaxed pace. I arrived at two minutes to noon. Physically, what I accomplished seemed impossible, yet it had all gotten done in that time. The choice for peace creates miracles.

Help me to relax and move through my day with a sense of ease and joy.

I always have enough time to do what Spirit asks.

July 26

Step by Step

" ...(T)his program is not for sissies for ...it takes a man to make the grade. It is not too difficult nor easy to grasp. I have had many more reasons to drink since I have been in AA than I had in all the years of my drinking. I've had more problems but, thank God, I have had the teachings of AA with which to face them. ...When I hear the more rugged stories of alcoholics who became sicker than I did with this affliction, I humbly thank God for showing me 'the handwriting on the wall.'" - Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, Part II ("They Stopped in Time"), Ch 8 ("Rum, Radio and Television"), p 367.

Today, a program that is not without work, that working it takes more courage than to keep drinking and that being sober will not shield us from the problems that non-alcoholics face but will arm us with stronger combat ammunition. I will heed the word of the experienced and not set myself up for a slip or relapse if the promises of the program don't come quickly enough to me - because I haven't worked for those promises. Nor will I dismiss the program that it doesn't work when I face the problems that everyone else has. Problems will continue to arise; how I handle them will depend on how I work the program. For as courageous and bold my decision to stop drinking, I need even more to graduate from being dry to sober. Today, I'm ready to give it my all, to "go to any lengths." And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

ATTRACTIVE

The 12 Step way of life is attractive, not necessarily irresistible.

~ Anonymous ~

Life looks different through rose-colored glasses. Everything has beautiful shades and hues. We see every person as prettier or handsomer than they actually are. When we look in the mirror, the mole on our nose is smaller. The padded hips and double chin disappear. By some strange force, we look three inches taller.

We should all be permitted the use of these glasses once in a while. The newcomer, especially, needs the chance to pick up their spirits. Early recovery can feel irresistible, like those rose-colored glasses. The truth of the matter is we have learned the 12 Step way of life is attractive, but not irresistible.

I have come to appreciate how attractive my new life is. I no longer need to use rose-colored glasses all the time to view my world.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding.

~ Kahlil Gibran ~

We seldom choose the pain that comes into our lives. Perhaps it comes as a consequence of other choices that we made. Perhaps it comes as a result of events that are no fault of our own. Either way, our suffering is something we have no choice about. But we do have choices about how we will respond to it. As men following a spiritual path, we have come to understand that whatever we have to deal with contains important lessons.

If a man falls and breaks his arm, no healing will come from blaming the rock he stumbled over or blaming the guy who put the rock in his way. He still must care for his broken bone, and the healing comes from within his own body.

We ask ourselves, what am I to learn from this event? How can I take this experience and grow into a better, stronger man? When we turn a painful thing into a way to grow, we turn a negative to our advantage and our lives take a turn for the better.

Today the pain I feel will point me in a direction for my development.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

We are social beings not from habit, and not for convenience or expediency, but of necessity.

~ Mary McDermott Shideler ~

What does it really mean that we need each other? Being strong and independent were qualities we strove for. Most of us were encouraged to learn how to stand on our own two feet. Doesn’t that advice fly in the face of needing others?

The truth is, we have lessons to learn and contributions to make. Our relationships with others provide us with those opportunities. None of us are here without reason. Our lives are blended for a much greater purpose than what our narrow, individual focus sees. The group, the community that claims our membership, has been assembled by God. Let’s know that we need to be here, now.

I need the women and men who surround me now. I may not understand the reason, but I don’t need to. Trust is all that’s necessary.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I am becoming a spiritual person

"Spiritual" used to mean church or religion to me—both of which I rejected. In a way I was my own higher power and I tried to handle all my problems on my own. As a result, I often felt alone, insecure, and afraid.

Now that I am in dual recovery I am learning little by little the larger meaning of the word spiritual. Most important, it means I am not alone, I have a higher power, one who cares about me. When I let my higher power help, I feel more confidence and courage. I worry less about what will happen tomorrow and try to be grateful for today.

When I wake up in the morning, I will practice welcoming the day.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

I have seen much to hate, here — much to forgive.

~ Alice Duer Miller ~

Some of us grew up in very sick families, and it’s hard to put the past behind us. Coming to terms with who we are and learning to forgive are complicated by old pain, a childhood filled with anger and resentment and sadness. But we’re not children any more. Our minds, spirits and bodies are adult. We have adult tools to use in resolving old pain.

In recovery we can learn to recognize our anger and begin to work at forgiveness. We might be resentful not only of our families but of past friends, too. We seemed to spend a lot of time alone, isolating ourselves from pain. Oh, how sad we were, and probably still are, unless we have taken a courageous step forward and started to work on these issues.

Our past can never change, but how we view the past can. All this takes a lot of work to accept and deal with in a healthy way. It takes thought, tears, honesty, admitting our own mistakes, and lots of spiritual support from our group. A strong belief in a Higher Power helps reassure us that life can be good to us if we are good to ourselves. When we are finally ready to release ourselves from the past, when we are ready to forgive our family and be happy for our friends’ happiness, we have truly broken free. It is a long and emotional journey, but one that will free us from old pain and let us rejoice in the here and now.

Today help me learn from the past, not live in it.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

I cannot meet with a single day when I am not hurried along, driven to my wits’-end by urgent work, business to attend to, or some service to render.

~ George Sand ~

If asked to describe each of your days as if they were pictures in a coloring book, what colors would you use? Perhaps gray would suit days filled with sadness or despair. Maybe fire-engine red would signify the urgency and stress you sometimes feel. And a brilliant blue would be used when your thinking is clear and your future seems bright.

But while your days may be filled with a multitude of colors, there is one color that is often neglected: white. White is a perfect complement to any color you choose. White space provides breathing room and gives you the opportunity to see and appreciate all of the colors. When you add white to each of the days in your coloring book, you are creating a space in which you can free your mind and welcome peace and serenity. And you are allowing space with no clutter, no stress, and no confusion.

Think of those days that are filled to the brim with appointments, activities, meetings, deadlines, and end-less rushing. Add some white space to those days to give yourself the opportunity to experience serenity.

Today I will use white as part of the palette of my day.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

The seed of God is in us. Pear seeds grow into pear trees, nut seeds into nut trees, and God seeds into God.

~ Meister Eckhart ~

Often we may feel critical and judgmental about our maturity or personality. When we read we have God seeds within us, we may find that difficult to believe. How can we have the God seeds within us that other people have? It may seem everyone else has more good within them than we have.

Just as we admire certain qualities about other people, so can we admire qualities about ourselves. We need to remember a good critic looks at both the good and the bad. A good critic doesn't pass judgment, but merely assembles the facts to allow others to make judgments.

The seeds that grow pear trees don’t yield perfect trees. Some of the fruit is ripe and juicy; some is hard and dry; some fruit never matures. Yet the pear tree will be a good tree if it's tended with care. So it is with us. Every part of us may not be perfect, but with care we can make the best person possible from the God seed that began us.

I can be a healthy, bountiful person if I give myself plenty of care. Tonight I won't give up on me.

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Avoiding pity

Coming into the fellowship, newcomers may see older members as unsympathetic, unsupportive, or even rude. Old-timers don’t mince words with newcomers who aren’t ready to stop using: “Go back out and try some more if you haven’t had enough.” Old- timers don’t pity newcomers. While they understand the fear and pain, they also know that pity will kill because pity leads to self- pity and eventually back to using.

So if old-timers seem harsh it’s out of loving, knowing hearts—it’s out of tough love.

Have I stopped pitying myself (and others)?

Higher Power, help me avoid self-pity so I can do what I need to do to recover.

Today I will avoid self-pity by

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

To love what you do and feel that it matters— how could anything be more fun?

~ KATHARINE GRAHAM ~

Newcomer

I’ve been asked to fill in for someone who usually makes coffee at my regular meeting. I said, “Yes, sure,” without giving it a second thought. Now I’ve got to do it, and I’m feeling resentful. I’m ashamed to admit to such a petty resentment.

Sponsor

There have been many occasions when I’ve said yes to a request without paying attention to a hesitation I felt within myself. Sometimes my response comes out of the desire to be good; it’s one of the forms of people-pleasing. Later, though I may keep the commitment I’ve made, I don’t enjoy it; I feel somehow put upon.

In recovery, yes and no are both options, but it may take you some time to know what your heart is telling you. You may be confused by “I should” or “I have to” or by someone else’s needs. If you feel conflicted and are not sure what you really want to do, whether it’s a question of making coffee or attending a family wedding, you can give yourself some time to figure it out. You’re not required to discuss your conflict with the person who’s made the request, or to give an elaborate explanation for your decision once you make it.

Once we understand that we’re making a free choice, we may even get pleasure out of doing something we previously resisted. If we give ourselves permission to say no, then saying yes can be a joy instead of a duty.

Today, I honor my need to make genuine choices; I allow myself time to decide.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

Patience is a virtue that few alcoholics have. We want to do everything yesterday. Even after we sober up, we seldom acquire any substantial amount of this virtue. We feel a real need to make up for all our lost years; we fret and fume over delays; we feel the world should synchronize their watches with ours.

Like Phillips Brooks, we are in a hurry, but God isn't.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

All Actions Are Born Thought

I now journey in the realm of the Spirit;
Your wisdom has helped me be willing to change,
Your love has helped me believe I can change,
Your grace has helped me make the right decisions,
Your power has helped me take the right actions
Today, this I believe,
All negative actions are born in negative thought.
All positive actions are born in positive thought.
Help me always to know this is true.

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

THE MENTAL EQUIVALENT

There is one thing that means more to us than all the other things in the world, and that is our search for God and the understanding of His nature. Our aim is to learn the practice of the presence of God. We practice the presence of God by seeing Him everywhere, in all things and in all people.

Some years ago I coined the phrase "mental equivalent." For anything that you want in your life—a healthy body, a satisfactory vocation, friends, opportunities, and above all the understanding of God—you must furnish a mental equivalent. Supply yourself with a mental equivalent, and the thing must come to you.

This expression "mental equivalent" is borrowed from physics and chemistry. We speak of the mechanical equivalent of heat, and engineers constantly have to work out the equivalent of one kind of energy in another kind of energy. They have to find out how much coal will be needed to produce so much electricity, and so on. In like manner there is a mental equivalent of every object or occurrence on the physical plane.

The secret of successful living is to build up the mental equivalent that you want; and to get rid of, to expunge, the mental equivalent that you do not want.

I will mediate in thy precepts, and have respect unto thy ways (Psalm 119:15).

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Pygmy Thoughts

Be not content with littleness.

~ A Course in Miracles ~

While visiting a farm, I noticed some tiny horses not much larger than big dogs. "Are those Shetland ponies?" I asked Sara, the owner.

"No," Sara answered, "they are pygmy horses, bred for their small size. The breeders try to make each generation smaller than the last."

Breeding for smallness is symbolic of the way we paint ourselves into a corner by thinking diminutive thoughts. When we believe in lack and act as if it were so, we manufacture a world smaller than the one we were born into, and generate a new wave of little thoughts that leads to even more limitation in our experience. Eventually, we live in a tiny world, miniature in comparison to the world we were intended to enjoy.

My teacher Hilda described the spectacular flowers she saw in her mystical visions. "I've seen some huge flowers," she reported. "They were gigantic in comparison to the ones in our physical world. I was told that the great flowers are actually the ones offered at creation, but stingy thinking has shrunken the world of beauty to a mere fraction of what is possible."

Jesus taught, "To him that hath, more shall be given, and to him that hath not, it shall be taken away." When we think magnanimously, we expand our universe, and when we think small, we shrink it. Let us open our minds to the highest possibilities, that we may enjoy all that is available.

I pray to think with You, that I may live in the largest universe possible.

My magnificent thoughts create a magnificent world.

July 27

Step by Step

"What is this power that AA possesses? This curative power? I don't know what it is. I suppose the doctor might say, 'This is psychosomatic medicine.' I suppose the psychiatrist might say, 'This is benevolent interpersonal relations.' I suppose others would say, 'This is group psychotherapy.'
To me, it is God." - Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, Part II ("They Stopped in Time"), Ch 6 ("Physician, Heal Thyself!"), p 352.

Today, how many more voices of experience must I hear until I simply consider the possibility of a higher power if I am still struggling with the concept? If I continue to listen skeptically to the many voices of those who have recovered by giving their will to a higher power, maybe I can simply trust the AA command to "Keep It Simple" - simply take a leap of nothing but blind faith that something as good can exist if something as evil as alcohol can bring me to my knees. But if I still resist those voices of experience, hopefully I can muster the honesty to see that doing things my way hasn't worked and that maybe something outside myself can do a better job. Today, I seek if nothing else the blind faith to trust the voices of experience or, at least, my own history of not doing such a great job on my own. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

CONFUSION

Lord Ronald . . . flung himself upon his horse and rode madly away in all directions.

~ Stephen Leacock ~

Before the Program, we were like Lord Ronald. We flung ourselves upon our addiction and rode madly away in all directions and into many strange mental states. This included frightening, impulsive behavior while in a "blackout." Those who had blackouts were in complete disbelief when told of the wild and incredible things they did.

Sometimes the addict is conscious of how they are behaving and either does not care or is unable to resist acting that way. Loved ones, close friends, and coworkers frequently become concerned and frightened by the confused state of someone "under the influence." The worst reaction of others is an acceptance of "confused" states of the addict as “it's something they can’t help” or "there's no use trying to help the helpless."

The confusion I created when I was using was harmful to everyone, especially me. That confusion has now been thankfully replaced with clarity.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

In running, it doesn’t matter whether you come in firsts in the middle of the pack or last. You can say, “I have finished.” There is a lot of satisfaction in that.

~ Fred Lebow ~

In the ancient Greek competitions at Olympia, young men came from all over the Greek nation to participate, and great honor was bestowed upon the winners. But just to be a participant, in the Greek democratic mind, was a high honor in itself.

We modern men sometimes lose that sense of true honor. We think winning is the only goal. Such misguided beliefs have crippled us and made us feel like losers. Have you ever watched wheelchair racers giving their all? These racers honor the true notion of participation.

Today I will participate with all of those around me, to play, to run, and to work for a better world.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

To not accept all of ourselves creates polarity.
Try to live your life only inhaling for five minutes.

~ Niro Asistent ~

Not all of our qualities are admirable. In fact, some embarrass us. There is nothing preventing us from developing more positive characteristics, but the inspiration to do so often wanes. It might be more reasonable to strengthen the good ones with more frequent use and learn to love the rest as evidence of our very human nature.

We are complex personalities. We have been years in development, and we aren’t finished yet. Each day gives us opportunities to demonstrate a whole range of qualities.

We can accept each personal trait. That doesn’t mean we have to love every aspect of what we say or do. Nor does it mean we should never try to change. But taking our life, our behavior, more in stride will give us the heart to change what we can.

I am both good and bad. If I want to accentuate my positive traits, it is up to me to practice them today.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I know what to do when I feel overwhelmed

Sometimes it feels overwhelming to try to stay off alcohol and get a grip on my emotional illness. I feel so unsure of anything. So much is changing—my habits, thinking, friends, lifestyle. I feel off-balance and I get afraid.

Dual recovery is work. But I have a feeling that if I can just keep putting one foot in front of the other, I will get better. (And I don't have to do the work all on my own or all at once.) I can't predict how my life will change in dual recovery. But I trust that it will be better. And I trust that in this process, I am becoming a happier and healthier person.

When I feel overwhelmed, I will pray to my higher power for strength and call a supportive friend.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

And we are put on earth a little space, that we may learn to bear the beams of love.

~ William Blake ~

Since addiction robs us of the ability to love ourselves and share that love with others, it’s no wonder we enter sobriety full of longing. We have come to live by unhealthy rules: “Don’t talk, don’t trust, don’t feel.” These survival skills helped us withstand active dependency, but now they are obstacles keeping us from full recovery, and we must change them. This isn’t easy. No matter how much pain and isolation our old ways have brought to our lives, they are familiar ways, and attraction to the familiar is hard to resist. As unhealthy as we were in every way, we may sometimes long for comfort and predictability in our lives.

Healthy love seems risky. It can be a fearsome task to open ourselves to another, to risk shame and rejection. Healthy love requires honesty and faith, careful attention to our feelings, and sharing.

But now we are physically, mentally, and spiritually ready for love. The payoff is life itself, lived and shared in the moment, and the glow of self-esteem we feel when we are accepted as we are by another.

Today grant me the willingness to talk, trust, and feel.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

“It’s a question of discipline,” the little prince told me . . .
“When you’ve finished washing and dressing each morning, you must tend to your planet.”

~ Antoine de Saint-Exupery ~

Most consider procrastination to be the action taken to avoid an unpleasant task—for example, rather than mow the lawn you watch the baseball game. Recovery can fall into that category of an unpleasant task. You might think, then, that being in recovery means you are not a procrastinator. After all, you joined the program even though you knew it would not be easy. But even if you never procrastinated before you entered the program, you may find it is something you now do quite well.

Perhaps the process of working the Steps seems so daunting that you have delayed getting started. Or, since you were so adept in the past at ignoring your short-comings and fears, the program’s requirement that you come to terms with them has you backing away.

You may become more adept at procrastination when-ever you compare the pace of recovery to the pace of your life. It is far easier to do those things that will have an immediate reward than attend to those that will require diligence and attention over an extended period of time. By understanding the reasons why you are procrastinating, you can be more capable of overcoming it.

Today my motto is: Action, not procrastination!

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

Never let your head hang down. Never give up and sit down and grieve. Find another way. And don't pray when it rains if you don't pray when the sun shines.

~ Sachel Paige ~

When children are tired they make their feelings very clear. They just sit down and start to cry. As adults, we may sometimes feel like a child, ready to sit down and give up. But we're not tired children anymore. We're grown-ups, living with responsibilities and duties.

Instead of giving up, we need to find another way of handling responsibilities. To begin with, we can ask for help. There are others who can help with meals, family care, and household duties. We can also rearrange our schedules so we're not doing too much at one time and not enough at other times. Whenever we feel like giving up under the pressure of responsibilities, we can remember there are always solutions. Nothing is cast in stone, unless we want it to be.

Tonight I can begin thinking about making changes in my responsibilities. I can ask for help and do some rearranging so no day is overwhelming.

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Making progress

As addicts, we have a disease; as recovering addicts it is important for us to recognize that we are getting better. It is exciting and encouraging to see how we are changing.

We are sick, but we are getting better. For example, it used to be that every time some-thing went wrong, we had to run; now we just want to run. The running feeling is still there, but we now have a choice. Later, by the grace of God, we may not even want to run.

Can I see the progress I am making?

Higher Power, while I know there is always room for improvement, help me see the progress I have already made.

I will seek to improve myself today by

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

**************************************************

~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

You cannot shake hands with a clenched fist.

~ INDIRA GANDHI ~

Newcomer

I attended a meeting outside of my neighborhood and had a surprising experience. As I looked around the room, I didn’t see anyone who looked or dressed the way I do. I assumed I wouldn’t connect with anyone here, but thought I’d at least hear enough of the program to get me through another day. I began by saying, “You don’t know me; I’m a stranger to this meeting, but...”

When I finished sharing, the chairperson looked at me, addressed me by name, and said, “We do know you; all of us have had the feelings you’re talking about. Welcome; we’re glad you’re here.” I was shaken by her sincerity and warmth. It was humbling, after I’d blithely assumed that no one in the room would be able to relate to me. I seem to have to keep learning this lesson: I belong here.

Sponsor

I keep learning this lesson, too. Whether we wear black leather jackets or beige cardigans; live in trailers, farmhouses, or high-rises; however we speak, vote, or pray, we share the common problem of addiction and the bond of our commitment to recovery. If we listen well to others, we hear ourselves. If we share honestly, others hear us.

Your willingness to see yourself in those who appear different from you is an attitude that can also help you accept the diverse parts of yourself.

Today, I don’t make myself an outsider. I see what connects me to others and to myself.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

Everything you can buy with money will either die, rot, wither, evaporate or decay. There is nothing you can purchase that will surely last as long as you will, unless it be bad health.

Friends can be bought, not with money, but by a liberal expenditure of yourself. A dollar is a poor weapon to fight off real troubles.

God is Good and the truly Good things of this life were put here on earth for our use by Him and not one of them carries a price tag.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

All the Good I Can

Dear God, guide me to
Do all the good I can
By all means I can
In all ways I can
In all places I can
To all people I can
As long as I can.

*************************************************

~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

CLARITY AND INTEREST

The key to life is to build in the mental equivalents of what you want, and to expunge the equivalents of what you do not want. You build in the mental equivalents by thinking with clearness or definiteness, and interest. Remember clarity and interest; those are the two poles. If you want to be healthy, happy, prosperous, doing a constructive work, having a continuous understanding of God, you think, feel, and get interested in these ends. What we call "feeling" in connection with thought is really interest. Ninety-nine times in a hundred the reason why Christians do not demonstrate is that they lack feeling in their desires or prayers.

How are you going to expunge the wrong mental equivalents? Suppose you have a mental equivalent of resentment, or of unemployment, or of criticism, or of not understanding God. The only way to expunge a wrong mental equivalent is to supply the opposite. The right thought automatically expunges the wrong thought. If you say: "I am not going to think resentment any more," what are you thinking about except resentment? The key to the management of your thinking, and therefore, the key to the management of your destiny, is to substitute an affirmative thought for a negative thought.

The Lord will perfect that which concerneth me. . . (Psalm 138:8).

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Right in Front of You

Just open your eyes and realize the way it’s always been.

~ from the song, "The Balance," by The Moody Blues ~

While Frank Baum was writing his classic series of children's fantasy books, he had not yet chosen a name for the kingdom in which his characters would play out their adventures. As Baum was sitting with a friend in his office, the fellow asked, "What is the name of the land that will be the setting for your books?" The author shifted his eyes as he pondered, and his vision fell upon his file cabinet, in particular the drawer labeled "O-Z"

"Oz," Baum answered. "I shall build the story on Dorothy's adventures in the land of Oz.'' Thus was born the setting for the perennial and beloved Wizard of Oz.

While we may search high and low for an answer to our need, sometimes it is right in front of us. Hilda used to say, “Take whatcha got and make whatcha want.'' Life is not a mystery to be solved; it is a game to be played. Rather than spending a lot of energy hunting and pecking. We sometimes do better to just take what is before us and use it to our advantage.

Many of us have been taught that the best solution is the most complicated one. We believe we must strive and strain and pay a high cost for what we want. But often the reverse is the case: The simplest answer is the one that will work best. God does not play hide-and-seek. The truth is simple; it is obvious, and it works.

Bless the simple things in your world. Appreciate your friends for the simple gifts they offer you. Rather than seeking to replace what you have, look for ways that you may more fully tap into the gifts that you have been given. You are already rich.

Show me the good I already possess.

Everything I need comes to me at the perfect time in the perfect way.

July 28

Step by Step

Today, abstaining from drinking is not enough in recovery. Alcoholism is a three-level disease - physical, emotional, and spiritual. While not drinking is certainly a beginning, it is not the end. Not drinking will improve the physical ravages only but not the psychological and spiritual damage. It is for treatment of the emotional and spiritual that we have AA. Here, we are given the tools to undo the damage we have done and, when repair isn't possible, how to accept our mistakes, forgive ourselves even when no one else does and move toward sobriety. Without that treatment we are less sober and more like a dry drunk. Today, I accept that not drinking by itself is not enough to attain the sobriety and quality of the life I seek. Today, I pick up and begin to use the program's steps of recovery. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

SELF-CONQUEST

If I were given the opportunity to present a gift to the next generation it would be the ability of each individual to learn to laugh at himself.

~ Charles Schultz ~

In recovery we learn to laugh at the kind of person we were when our addiction was out of control. We don't laugh at the fact of our addiction; we laugh at who we once were. This is a healthy kind of self-ridicule. Above all, we laugh at the person we never again have to be if we follow the principles of our Program. To blot out the “me” of yesterday, lie have only to follow some very simple guidelines.

At times obeying the principles which have been set down for us may not be easy. But with our realization that we have chosen to stop playing God comes the awareness that difficulties need not be disastrous. If everything in life came easily, we would lack sparkle in our lives.

I am thankful my sense of humor has found freedom. Now I am able to laugh at myself, which is the height of self-conquest.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

Sometimes I go about pitying myself, /and all the time / I am being carried on great winds across the sky.

~ Ojibway song, translated by Frances Densmore, adapted by Robert Bly ~

Self-pity is a rather silly temptation. Our troubles may be very compelling and vivid. They may demand our attention. However, when we start to focus on ourselves rather than our challenges, we get distracted from coping with them. Self-pity is a form of self-centeredness. We think, Why me? or Poor me, or Look at all the suffering I have. Whenever we let ourselves settle in on such self-focused thinking, we become smaller men.

One way to move out of such a dead end is to laugh at our narrowness. We can say, There I go again, pitying myself when there are so many blessings in life. Another way out is to look at our challenges as teachers and open ourselves to learning their lessons.

Today I will notice all the blessings that have brought me this far in life and be open to the lessons that are here for me to learn.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

Keeping hearts happy is a lot like keeping bodies healthy. We need to feed our hearts well through reading, prayer, and meditation, and to exercise them by loving.

~ Jane Nakken ~

Our well-being is the result of concentrated effort. While we may know people who seem to be secure, happy, and serene all the time, we are seldom privy to all the work they have put into this attitude. Spiritual exercise pays off. Those we admire are examples of it.

Each of us can be an example of it too. Taking some time alone with our Higher Power every day is a good way to begin our exercise. Developing a trusting friendship with God guarantees us the guidance we long for throughout our lives. Coming to believe that God is always present, we can respond to all our experiences with peaceful and loving hearts. We won’t live in fear of people or events when we have exercised our trust in and reliance on God.

I will exercise some effort today to connect with my Higher Power. My efforts will affect all my experiences.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I need courage to change

After doing Steps Four and Five in my dual recovery program, I'm spiritually and emotionally tired. (They were especially hard to do given the shame and guilt I have felt in my depression.) I don't much feel like making any more changes in Steps Six and Seven. Haven't I made enough changes by getting stable and abstinent?

And yet, how can I stop now? As I'm learning in the program, I work Steps Four and Five so I'm free to make these changes in myself. I know it will not be easy, but I need to begin to let go of the parts of my personality that cause me trouble, the parts that, in recovery no longer help. I need to become open to change in Step Six and then invite change in Step Seven. With strength from my higher power, I can do this much and trust the results.

Today I will pray for the courage to allow myself to be changed through my higher power.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

Play with your kids a little hit each day. You won’t believe the difference it makes in you.

~ Joan M. ~

When we play we usually think of children. They are the ones who play all day, often in carefree abandon.

But in recovery we’re realizing we need to play, too. As adults, we often find we’ve lost track of the ability or desire to play. We often don’t know how to do it anymore. We feel stiff, self-conscious, out of place. Years of drugging or drinking have buried our sense of fun and real play.

We have found it’s often best to learn again from our own children or, if we don’t have any, from a friend’s children. Spending an hour or a day or a weekend with children is a wonderful way to get back in touch with our own inner child and our own ability to play. Play sharpens our minds, relaxes our bodies, and lets our spirits soar. When we play, we can thank God for making play so important that it’s the first thing we humans learn to do.

Today help me enjoy some time to play. Let me be grateful for the sharing and happiness that are so much a part of play.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

In solitude, where we are least alone.

~ Lord Byron ~

In solitude, you are never alone. Solitude is a time in which you can engage in many connections. You can take a hike through a forest and hear the sounds of the birds and the air rustle the leaves on the trees. You can look around you at the greenery and growth of living things and feel the crunch of the earth beneath your feet. The experience of all of these things makes you feel a part of them—not apart from them—thereby shifting your feelings of disconnection to connection.

Solitude is a time when you can choose to look inwardly rather than outwardly, when you engage in self- examination, contemplation, and discovery. It can be a time when you remove yourself from the voices of others and the sounds of everyday life so that, in the silence that remains, you can hear your own voice.

Solitude is also a time for connecting to your Higher Power, when you seek greater knowledge to better understand your purpose. It can be a time of prayer asking for the strength to overcome obstacles so you can meet all of the challenges you must face.

Today I will not consider myself alone and lonely, but at peace in a solitude that provides connections and comfort.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

You have no idea what a poor opinion I have of myself, and how little I deserve it.

~ William Gilbert ~

Can we say "I like me" and really mean it? To say that statement and mean it we have to like everything about ourselves: our good qualities as well as our bad, our appearance, the way we interact with others, the way we express ourselves. We don't have to love everything about us, but we need to learn to like ourselves.

Liking ourselves doesn't mean we approve of certain traits or behaviors. But we can accept them. We don't deserve the low opinion we may have of ourselves. We aren't so bad. We make mistakes as well as everyone else. We aren't the most perfect companion, lover, friend, or parent. Neither is anyone else.

There are very likable people inside us that struggle to change and become better. We deserve to like ourselves for who we are and who we're becoming.

Tonight I will think of at least five qualities about myself I like. I can say "I like me" and mean it.

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Testing the fellowship

Early in recovery, we may find ourselves testing the fellowship to see how much others will respond to us. Out of fear, anxiety, loneliness, or frustration, we may act out. But as wonderful as our fellowship is, it’s not a permanent bond; it will not hold up against repeated assaults and excessive demands.

When fellowship members have had enough, they may frankly object. We may feel hurt and rejected. If we then overreact and reject the fellowship, we lose. And so does the fellowship. We need to learn what issues we have along with chemical dependency and how to deal with them. We need to learn that the fellowship needs the care and respect we’d give any relationship.

Am I treating the fellowship and myself well?

Higher Power, help me understand my individual issues and to get help with them.

Today I will show respect for myself and the fellowship by

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

**************************************************

~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

Love is or it ain't. Thin love ain’t love at all.

~ TONI MORRISON ~

Newcomer

There’s a friend in recovery who I’ve started to realize responds to me the way some members of my family did. It feels almost abusive. At first, we had frequent conversations, and she was willing to listen to whatever I was going through. She talked about herself, too, at great length. Now, when I tell her how I’m feeling, she puts me down. She doesn’t come out and say, “Quit pitying yourself,” but that’s essentially the message. Her sudden mood changes are confusing, because sometimes she seems sympathetic.

Sponsor

Whatever else is happening, it sounds as if you’re receiving some mixed signals. Your friend is somehow conveying, through tone or indirect remarks, some feelings she’s not able to be direct about.

Real friendship in recovery is a blessing; we can give and accept support, share what works for us, laugh and celebrate together. Relationships that are based only on “dumping” our troubles or “getting dumped on” aren’t very full or satisfying. An atmosphere of mutual complaining may help preserve the status quo, rather than support growth.

As we learn from discomfort and move on in our process of recovery, we become more discriminating about the people we spend time with. We deserve friends who are on our wavelength and who are sensitive to us—not people who subtly abuse us for having problems to work through or who can’t decide whether or not they want our friendship.

Today, I have friends who nurture and delight me.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

In AA we must of necessity make the best use of our time. The hours must be allocated to our various affairs in proportion to their importance. We now have so many responsibilities we did not have in our drinking days.

If we wisely divide our time between our duties to our families, our jobs, our community, our God, and getting our own lives in order, we will find little time left for worry, fear, self-pity or envy.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

My Misadventures

O Lord, save me from taking the wrong road, save me from repeating my past misadventures.
I have learned in recovery that a truly satisfied life is only possible when I live the life You want me to live.
When I live with You in that secret place of the Spirit, I know I'm on the right road.
Your will (not mine) be done.

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

EASY DOES IT

What you concentrate upon you bring into your life. Many people fail to concentrate successfully because they think that concentration means will power. They suppose that the harder they press the faster they get through. But that is quite wrong.

Think of the photographic process. The secret of a clear picture lies in focus. You focus your camera lens steadily for the necessary length of time. Suppose I want to photograph a vase of flowers. I place them in front of the camera and keep them there. But suppose that after a few moments I snatch away the vase and hold a book in front of the camera, and then snatch that away, and hold up a chair, and then put the flowers back for a few moments. You know what will happen to my photograph. It will be a crazy blur. Is not that what people do to their minds when they cannot keep their thoughts concentrated for any length of time? They think health for a few minutes and then they think sickness or fear. They think prosperity and then they think depression. Is it any wonder that man is so apt to demonstrate the "marred image"?

It is always good to make a practical experiment, so I advise you to take a single problem in your life—and just change your mind concerning your problem and keep it changed for a month, and you will be astonished at the results. If you really do keep your thought changed you will not have to wait a month for results.

. . . he that shall endure until the end, the same shall be saved (Matthew 24:13).

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

The Main Thing

The main thing is to keep the main thing the main thing.

~ Anonymous ~

The rascal Nasrudin stood on the bow of a boat next to a pompous intellectual who began to quiz him on his education. "Have you ever studied astronomy?" asked the professor.

"I can't say that I have," answered the mystic.

"Then you have wasted much of your life. By knowing the constellations, a skilled captain can navigate a boat around the entire globe." Then he asked, "Have you studied meteorology?"

"No," answered Nasrudin.

"Then you have wasted most of your life," the academician chided. "Methodically capturing the wind can propel a sailing ship at astounding speeds." Then he inquired, "Have you studied oceanography?"

"Not at all."

“Ah! What a waste of your time! Awareness of the currents helps sailors find food and shelter."

A few minutes later, Nasrudin began to make his way toward the stern of the ship. As he ambled forward, he nonchalantly asked the fellow, "Have you ever studied swimming?"

"Haven't had the time," the professor haughtily responded.

"Then you've wasted all of your life—the boat is sinking."

Each of us reaches a point in life where we must decide what is really important and live from our highest values. We must put aside lesser pursuits in favor of what truly satisfies our soul. When all is said and done, we will remember our moments of love and kindness, and all else will fall away. Do not be distracted from your soul's true purpose. Do what is meaningful to you, and trust that all else will be taken care of.

Help me to stay on purpose today. I pray to live from my heart.

My priority is peace. I do what I am here to do.

July 29

Step by Step

"I never knew which came first, the thinking or the drinking. If I could only stop thinking, I wouldn't drink. If I could only stop drinking, maybe I wouldn't think. But they were all mixed up together, and I was all mixed up inside. And yet I had to have that drink. You know the deteriorating effects, the disintegrating effects of chronic wine-drinking. I cared nothing about my personal appearance. I didn't care what I looked like. I didn't care what I did. To me, taking a bath was just being in a place with a bottle where I could drink in privacy. I had to have it with me at night, in case I woke up and needed that drink." - Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, Part II ("They Stopped in Time"), Ch 4 ("The Housewife Who Drank at Home"), p 337.

Today, I don't care which came first, the delusional and irrational thinking or the drinking, because it doesn't matter. Whether some deluded thinking led me to alcohol or if excess drinking fueled a thinking problem is moot because, now, the two are intertwined. My thinking now cannot be that I can start drinking responsibly if I get my thinking in a logical sync. Nor can I believe that I can drink responsibly. Neither is possible. Which came first, the chicken or the egg? Does it matter? The chicken's polluted. Today, I don't care where my drinking thinking or thinking drinking came from. I need both corrected, and I'm where I need to be to get both. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

OPPORTUNITIES

A wise man will make more opportunities than he finds.

~ Francis Bacon ~

Opportunities are like miracles in our life of recovery. But they won't necessarily fall into our hands without any effort on our part. Spiritual progress is the self-chosen goal we seek in our recovery. Opportunities for spiritual progress are abundant in the Program. We have a positive attitude that comes from working all the Steps.

Opportunities for growth are earned, not given. When we work to make opportunities happen, we can enjoy the success that follows, not only for ourselves, but for others. Admitting our powerlessness gave us the freedom of choice, the freedom for opportunities.

In recovery, I delight in the chance I have to make my own successes through planned progress instead of simply wishing for the best things in life.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

Love is presence.

~ Theresa Gerhardinger ~

When we sit with a loved one who is very ill, we often feel helpless. When a friend is confronted with great pain or tragedy, we wonder, what should I say? To be comfortable in any relationship, we need to understand powerlessness and accept it. Sometimes the only and the most loving thing to do is to be present.

When we see our wife or our partner make the same mistake over and over again, we want to take charge. When we don’t get what we want from our beloved, we try to extract what we think we need. But we learn that true love exists within limits. We cannot fix others, and they cannot fix us. Once we accept the limits, once we accept powerlessness, we can relax into the love and enjoy its pleasures.

Today I will be present in the moment with the people in my life.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

Every once in a while I make a list of my obsessions. Some obsessions change and there are always more. Some are thankfully forgotten.

~ Natalie Goldberg ~

It’s not just the disease of alcoholism that causes obsessions; some say that being human is all it takes. Obsessions are generally triggered by wanting something or somebody to change. The problem is that although we don’t have the power to change other people, we dwell incessantly on the possibility.

Through the help of the Twelve Steps, we are gradually becoming aware that we can change no one but ourselves. That doesn’t mean we’ll immediately quit obsessing about what others should do, but we now have the tools to recognize what is in our control and what isn’t. We can get rid of obsessions.

My obsession with anything today means I have for-gotten what is in my control and which tools can help me. I’ll look to a friend for guidance.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I want to stop worrying

I'm coming to terms with the fact that I think too much, or more accurately, worry too much. I'd rather stop. I can see now that it doesn't do me much good. In fact, the more I think (more like obsess), the more troubled and stuck I get, and the less I can do about it.

And the less I can do, the less I can change. But to recover, I need to change. It may be gradual, but to recover from my mental and chemical health problems, I need to change both the way I think and my lifestyle. "Obsessing myself" into paralysis will not help.

For five minutes today I will try to simply sit, breathe deeply, and not think (what you might call "meditate").

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

We crucify ourselves between two thieves; regret for yesterday and fear of tomorrow.

~ Fulton Oursler ~

We’ve all said or done things we regretted. If only we could turn back the clock and have a second chance. Sadly, we don’t have that power. We have to live with our words and deeds, even when we spoke or acted out of haste or in a chemical fog.

We can’t do anything about tomorrow, either, and worrying about tomorrow robs us of today. Certainly we can prepare by doing homework, packing for a trip, or writing the speech we are to give. But once we’ve done the preparation, it’s time to let go.

But today is ours. We can make amends, see someone in person and say, “I’m sorry,” or send a card with a note of apology. We can think about what we could do differently in the future. And we can pray for guidance from our Higher Power. We can’t erase what we said or did, but we can speak or act differently today.

Taking life a day at a time means living in today, in the here and now. Living in the past or future is futile. Instead, we can cherish this moment, relax and enjoy it.

Today help me to let go of the troubles of the past and the fears of tomorrow. Help me make the most of today.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy ... we must die to one life before we can enter another.

~ Anatole France ~

In the movie Defending Your Life, those who die are put on trial. Where they go next—to a joyful afterlife or back to earth to do it all over again—is determined by a panel of judges.

As the main character is on trial, he falls in love and realizes he will most likely not be with the woman in the after-life because they made different choices in their earthly lives. When the judges confirm this, he takes an enormous risk. He refuses to lose out on the opportunity to be with the one he loves and goes against the judges’ decision to be with her in the after-life.

The program teaches that in order to gain a new way of life, you must release your former one. By developing El greater understanding of the harm your former life has caused, you are more capable of seeing the mistakes you made, the risks you did not take, and the opportunities you let slip away. And then you have a choice: return to your former life, or enter into a new way of living.

Today I will let go of my former life and develop a new way of living.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

The sculptor produces the beautiful statue by chipping away such parts of the marble block as are not needed—it is a process of elimination.

~ Elbert Hubbard ~

When people set aside items for a yard sale, they tag things no longer needed. When we look at things we might sell, we might be surprised to remember how badly we felt we needed or wanted a particular item. But over time, or because we grew up, we found we could eliminate the once-treasured item from our lives.

We'll find we can do the same process of elimination with our character defects. Some may be impossible to eliminate now for whatever reason. Yet over time, we may find ourselves outgrowing this defect or gathering courage to eliminate it.

Tonight we're on our way to sculpting beautiful people—ourselves. We may have a long way to go in forming our shapes, but we're in no hurry. Every so often we'll eliminate a piece of marble so more of our beautiful shapes are revealed. Before long, we'll have smooth, striking statues for all to behold.

I'm on my way to sculpting a beautiful me. Every day I will sculpt some more and eliminate things I don't need.

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Looking for answers

We are learning that the geographical cure does not guarantee staying clean and sober. As the saying has it, no matter where you go, there you are. We are learning that it’s better to look for the answers in ourselves and our program than in a different city or country.

No person, place, or thing will keep us clean and sober. Recovery is in our program, in our hearts, and in the “still small voice within.”

Do I know where to look for answers?

Higher Power, help me see that I will find answers only in my soul and not in distant places.

Today I will look within by

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

**************************************************

~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

Remember if people talk behind your back, it only means you are two steps ahead!

~ FANNIE FLAGG ~

Newcomer

In the beginning, I wanted to spread the amazing news and tell everyone that I was in recovery. Now I’m not sure it was such a good idea.

Sponsor

We don’t have to give in to regrets about the past—including our recent past in recovery. But we can learn from it and base current decisions on what our experience has been teaching us.

Like you, I wanted to tell the world about my newfound recovery; it was too good to keep secret. I guess I thought that I had the answer for everyone; I imagined that I could save a few hundred souls by spreading the word. Good friends were genuinely delighted for me. One person at work said that I looked a lot more relaxed and happy, and asked me where these meetings were; eventually she did enter recovery. Another friend told me disapprovingly that he thought I should keep quiet about my addiction and recovery.

These days, I have less of a need to share unasked-for information indiscriminately. I make decisions based on my sense of a particular person or situation, rather than acting on impulse. When it feels right, I don’t hesitate to share my recovery.

Today, I have the right to privacy.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

Humility has been the hardest of all the virtues to acquire for many of us. Few of us know what it actually is. Many have it and think they don't; many don't have it and think they do. Many admit they don't understand the word and forget it, leaving to the world to judge whether they have it or not.

The best way to acquire Humility is to constantly remind yourself how much lower than a snake's belly you would be but for the Grace of God. You made a horrible mess of running your life and failed completely but that Grace could and did, make you what you are today.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

Continue to Watch

I have entered the world of the Spirit;
I will grow in understanding and effectiveness;
I will continue to watch for
selfishness, dishonesty, resentment, and fear.
When these crop up,
I will ask You at once to remove them.
I will discuss these defects with someone immediately
and make amends quickly if I have harmed anyone
Then I will resolutely turn my thoughts
to someone I can help.
Love and tolerance of others is my code.

~ Adapted from material in Alcoholics Anonymous, Fourth Edition, Page 84 ~

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

MAINTAINING THE NEW EQUIVALENT

There is an instructive legend of the Middle Ages. It seems that a certain citizen was arrested by one of the barons and shut up in a dungeon by a ferocious looking jailer who carried a great key. The door of his cell shut with a bang. He lay in the dark dungeon for twenty years. Each day the big door would be opened with a great creaking; water and bread would be thrust in and the door closed again.

After twenty years the prisoner decided that he wanted to die but he did not want to commit suicide, so the next day when the jailer came he would attack him, and the jailer would then kill him. In preparation he thought he should examine the door so he turned the handle, and to his amazement the door opened. He found that there was no lock. He groped along the corridor and felt his way upstairs. At the top of the stairs two soldiers were chatting, and they made no attempt to stop him. He crossed the great yard. There was an armed guard on the drawbridge but paid no attention to him, and he walked out a free man. He went home unmolested. He had been a captive, not of stone and iron, but of false belief. He had only thought he was locked in.

Bring my soul out of prison, that I may praise thy name: the righteous shall compass me about; for thou shalt deal bountifully with me (Psalm 142:7).

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Why Wait for Heaven?

Heaven is here. There is no other place. Heaven is now. There is no other time.

~ A Course in Miracles ~

When I landed after a long airplane flight, I was disappointed not to find my friend who was supposed to pick me up. When I called her house, she was still home, which meant that I would need to wait for nearly an hour in a hot and crowded airport. After grumbling to myself for a while, I decided to play a game I called "Heaven." I imagined that everyone and everything I saw was a part of a scene in heaven. People were stepping off airplanes, happy to finally arrive in paradise; families were greeting one another with open arms; and porters were assisting passengers with luggage to get them settled in heaven. Soon I enjoyed the game so much that I hardly noticed an hour go by.

When my friend arrived, I invited her to sit and play the game with me. Just then a man asked us if we would watch his bags while he made a phone call. In heaven, we had nowhere to go, and we gladly said yes, which he very much appreciated. Because we were at peace, we were in a perfect position to serve, and we brought his world closer to heaven.

Right where you are, there is just as much joy, peace, and happiness available as there is anywhere and anytime. The remedy for unhappiness is not geographical; it is attitudinal. If you choose to find peace where you are, you will bring it wherever you go and invite others to join you.

Help me remember that love is everywhere. Wherever I go, there I will find You.

I carry the peace of God with me wherever I am.

July 30

Step by Step

Today, I realize the character defects identified in my Fourth Step probably existed before my drinking days and that alcohol simply developed them to their destructive zenith. My Sixth and Seventh steps of first admitting to God and then asking that He remove my defects assume paramount honesty in my recovery because I am likely to be challenged to release defects that have had a lifetime to take root - more so than those that those that were born of my drinking days. And if my defects are lifelong, simply not drinking will not give me the recovery and quality of sobriety for which I strive. Today, I am an alcoholic, and abstaining from drinking is not enough. I consider myself a part of AA and, today, as I talk the talk, I will walk the walk. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

GIVING UP

There must be a beginning of any great matter but the continuing unto the end until it is fully finished yields the true glory.

~ Sir Francis Drake ~

It isn't a matter of stubbornness to persist in any effort. It is common sense. When we persist in taking our time and carefully consider how to handle a situation or give an answer, we usually discover the right solution. We spent most of our lives before the Program always "giving up."

It's easy to give up on a problem too quickly. A lengthy effort at finding a solution is sometimes painful and irritating. But the answers will come if we continue doing the research through study and prayer, one day at a time.

When we decide to begin a kind act, we may need bulldog determination to follow that act to its completion. We should enter into any action with a strong desire. There can be no hesitation or any thought of hanging back in taking the correct action toward answers.

The road may be long and hard before I find the answers. I will not give up too quickly.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

Everything I did in my life that was worthwhile I caught hell for.

~ Earl Warren ~

We have avoided conflict and sometimes taken the easier way when we should have stood up for what we believed in. We have procrastinated on difficult matters to keep the peace. Sometimes our fear of offending someone led us into dishonesty. We knew that if we said what we thought, or if we let others know our true feelings, we would have to deal with their reactions.

Great men do things that don’t please everyone all the time. When we have true definition as a man, our boundaries will give others a target if they are looking for one. Perhaps, at work or at home, we have something we feel needs to be said but we know it will displease others. Even our Twelve Step meetings take inventory on what is going well and what is not. So we learn to stand up for our beliefs and our principles. If no one ever gives us hell, we are probably not doing our best.

Today I will act on my true beliefs and express my honest feelings.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

We alone cannot heal the betrayals in our lives, but our inner spirit’s healing power can enter our souls and soothe our pain with understanding, acceptance, and love.

~ Rita Casey ~

Betrayal is a reality of our lives. Perhaps a parent or a spouse was the perpetrator. No one of us escaped it. And just as we were betrayed, we quite likely were betrayers too. We are not perfect human beings. We did the best we could with what we knew.

Now we know so much more. Had our betrayers had the information we now cherish, they’d likely have been quite different. Fortunately, we can look to our Higher Power (our inner spirit) to ease the pain that still lingers. With the strength of this spirit and our willingness to forgive our betrayers, we can find peace and feel love once again. What we know now convinces us that a forgiving heart heals.

I will reap wonderful rewards today if I let my inner spirit help me to forgive.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

It’s OK for me to have fun again

Recovering from a drug addiction and a mood disorder is a lot of work. Every week I see my therapist and attend two recovery meetings. Slowly I am changing my life. Recovery is a long-term process, but it is not the whole of my life. In fact recovery, too, calls for balance.

The other day I got inspired to hop on my dusty bike and take a ride around my neighborhood. I felt the speed and the wind and the freedom. Suddenly I realized I was smiling. I was having fun! I want more!

Today I will set aside at least ten minutes to do something fun.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

My heart is a lonely hunter that hunts on a lonely hill.

~ Fiona Macleod ~

Recovery asks us to live each day responsibly, but defining responsibility can be difficult. Many of us knew little about mature, disciplined, fulfilling lifestyles. Our original families may have been damaged, our parents unavailable as sources of nurturing. How, then, do we choose a new path that seems so unfamiliar and unnatural? We begin by asking for help from our Higher Power when we are unsure or in pain. Next, we think through our choices, guided by the knowledge we’ve gained. And finally, we act.
We know, for instance, that we’ve returned to an active level of our illness when we recognize the ache of isolation. At that point, it is our responsibility to call someone, share our feelings, and ask advice. Next, we call on our spiritual growth to help us be honest and act on the advice we get.

When we do this, we are practicing self-love, we are growing, and we are taking control of what we can do to change our lives.

In doing these things, day by day our Higher Power will help us remove sadness and replace it with fellowship. We are giving up our isolation and becoming part of our world again.

Today let me take healthy action to eliminate one source of pain or sadness in my life.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

Whatever there he of progress in life comes not through adaptation but through daring....

~ Henry Miller ~

When you were a child your parents may have measured your growth by drawing a pencil line on a wall above your head. Each time a line was added, you had a way of measuring your progress. When you started school, your report card showed your grades from term to term and provided a greater understanding of how you were advancing in your education. You had another way of measuring your progress.

There are many times in your life when you can mea-sure your progress quite clearly. But how do you measure your progress in recovery? You can certainly feel what it is like to be clean and sober. You can receive recognition for the amount of time you have accrued through key anniversary dates. And you can know where you are in your work on the Twelve Steps.

Rather than strive to see where you are, focus instead on how far you have come from the life you once lived and from the person you once were. Reflect on the quality of the relationships you have today. Consider all of the risks you have taken that you might never have undertaken. Then ask yourself, “Who do I like better: the person I once was, or the person I am now?”

Today I recognize and celebrate my progress.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

The error of the past is the success of the future. A mistake is evidence that someone tried to do something.

~ Anonymous ~

Remember our high school science fairs? There was always one entry that seemed to be everything the judges wanted: it was perfect, innovative, instructive. Yet there were other entries that would also win awards, and we may have wondered why they won. They seemed to be simplistic and maybe messy. So why did they win recognition?

Most often it was because of the effort someone put into the entry. Not every winner has to be the most perfect, most innovative, and most instructive. Some are winners because the person who did them made his or her best effort.

The important thing to know tonight is that it’s the effort that counts. We don't have to have all the answers, or act in the most mature way, or be the best friend ever. There is room for error in everything because nothing is gained in perfection the first time around. We can make mistakes because mistakes are sometimes the only way to reach perfection, and to measure how hard we've tried.

Have I made mistakes today? Tonight I can see my mistakes as valuable evidence of my efforts.

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Realizing the consequences

No matter who we are as individuals, we all bear the consequences of our lifestyle and behavior. High, we experience pain, suffering, grief, and eventually insanity or premature death. Clean and sober, we experience rewarding lives.

Getting clean and sober doesn’t mean that we suddenly become conformists. But whoever or whatever we become, we must practice kindness and tolerance. If we do, our lives will be meaningful in ways we can-not imagine.

Am I fully aware of the consequences of my choices?

Higher Power, help me become more thoughtful and patient.

Today I will take stock of my lifestyle by

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

Why do birds sing in the morning?
It’s the triumphant shout:
"We got through another night.”

~ ENID BAGNOLD ~

Newcomer

I’ve heard the expression “The person who got up first this morning is the most sober person in the room.” But doesn’t time in recovery count for anything?

Sponsor

I have great respect, as most of us do, for the experience of those who’ve been in recovery for long periods; I’m always interested in their perspective on things. I figure that they must have been doing something right, if they’ve lived for a significant length of time without returning to addictive substances or behavior

But emphasis on seniority might foster the mistaken belief that we can expect to finish our process of recovery someday. The tools that helped me to stay sober at the beginning are helping me to stay sober today. I need to live in the present moment. A focus on today is a gift that recovery both offers and depends on.

A slogan like the one you’ve quoted reminds me of that. So does the way some people refer to their length of time in recovery by saying that they’ve been here for “a few twenty-four hours” rather than a specific number of years. It’s an act of humility.

I live and recover one day at a time.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

No pleasures of our drinking days ever compensated for those horrible nights of wakeful tossing. The interminable pacing the floor; those night sweats; the endless hours when we couldn't sleep and at the same time dreaded falling asleep. The hours that seemed to stretch into eternity as we lay in bed with remorse as a bedfellow. Then the Hell of the goof-balls that made our nights better and our days worse.

The physical pain we might have endured for many more years, but the anguish of the heart and soul was unendurable.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

The Joy of Right Living

With bended knees, with hands outstretched,
I hope for the effective expression
Of Your Spirit working within me:
For this love and understanding, truth and justice,
For wisdom to know the false from the real
That I might lessen the sufferings of my fellows.
You are love, understanding, wisdom, and virtue.
Let us love one another,
Let us practice mercy and forgiveness,
Let us have peace, born of fellowship.
Let my joy be of right living, of doing good to others
Happiness is for us whose happiness flows to others.

~ Zoroastrian prayer ~

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

WHAT MOSES MEANS TODAY

Read Exodus 19:6-20:20.

Moses was a man of extraordinary understanding of God and of man. He was also one of the great historical leaders of the human race. He was born in Egypt, which was in those days the most highly civilized country in the world. But at the time, the authorities gave orders to kill the male children of the Israelites, and Moses’ mother tried to save his life by placing him in a little basket and hiding it at the river's edge where Pharaoh's daughter could not help but see it when she came to the river to bathe. The sister of Moses was told to hide among the tall reeds to guard the baby. The king's daughter saw this little basket, opened it, and when the child cried, her heart was touched. She looked around, and out came the sister, and you know the rest of the story, how the sister was sent to fetch a woman to take care of the child, and brought Moses' own mother.

Now there is a remarkable text here. Pharaoh's daughter says to the woman: Take this child away, and nurse it for me, and I will give thee thy wages (Exodus 2:9).

In the Bible sense you are the King's Daughters as soon as you reach out for the Truth. The infant Moses is that higher teaching that draws out your heart. Now, how do we nourish our infant Moses? By prayer and meditation. Otherwise the child will starve. However, if we take the child and nurse it, we shall get our wages, and our wages shall be freedom, peace of mind, harmony, understanding, and the fellowship of God Himself.

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Turtles All the Way Down

There is only one question that all of science and philosophy seeks to answer: "Is the universe a friendly place?”

~ Albert Einstein ~

A king woke up his advisor late one evening, anxiously reporting, "I couldn't sleep because I began to fear that the world would fall into an abyss."

"Not to worry," comforted the advisor. "The earth is held up by a giant bear."

"Thank you," answered the king, breathing a sigh of relief. Half an hour later, the king knocked again. "What is holding up the bear?" he inquired.
“A great turtle," the sage answered. "He will not let the bear fall."

"That's good," responded the king.

The seer was not surprised when half an hour later, the king knocked again. The advisor opened the door and, just as the king was about to speak, he raised his hand and told the monarch, "It's turtles all the way down!"

If we begin to question our support, we can enter into an abysmal tailspin of worry. Eventually we come to the point where we either trust implicitly or doubt compulsively. lf we do not trust, we will find more and more reasons to fear, and if we trust, we shall confirm our vision of safety. We can short-circuit the experiment by practicing trust in the universe at every level, knowing that for every turtle we question, there is one below it.

I pray to have faith in things unseen, knowing Your loving hand sustains me.

I am always safe because God is always present.

July 31

Step by Step

"The old (drinking) pattern reasserted itself, but it was no longer once every six months. The intervals grew shorter. The binges were longer. They were harder to get off. ...
"That type of drinking is not pleasant. It is no longer enjoyable. You no longer get the kicks. It is desperation drinking. I was drinking to keep away the shakes ...I was drinking to try to hold on to a job, to try and hold on to my home, to try to hold on to my wife, to try to hold on to my sanity." - Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, Part III ("They Lost Nearly All"), Ch 8 ("Desperation Drinking"), p 514.

Today, honesty to accept I have a problem if drinking is my answer to any desperation I feel - be it for a situation I desperately want not to face, or the talk with my spouse, partner or employer, the constantly ringing telephone that I will not answer because someone might be calling about my drinking or some problem it has caused. If drinking is my solution to any problem in my life, let me hear the voices of experience that my solution has become a crisis bigger than the problem I'm avoiding. And if I have not drank for any significant number of 24 Hours, chances are I now cannot remember the problem I drank to avoid. But, in so doing, I and I alone created one of the most critical crises that was far worse than any problem I faced sober. Today, alcohol will not be my solution to any problem that I may encounter. My answer is the Twelve Steps. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

CLOSED MIND

When your head begins to swell, your mind stops growing.

~ Anonymous ~

In the old days before recovery, we knew everything. We could talk for hours about any topic, whether we knew anything about it or not. Our minds were closed to new information because it might shatter what little confidence we had in ourselves. We knew what we knew, and that was enough.

In recovery, we know that we don't know everything. What a relief! We learn some- thing new every day, and we never seem to get enough. The world is an exciting place full of new discoveries. And it's O.K. to say "I don't know," because then we can open our minds and hearts to the answer.

My confidence has grown, so I don't have to pretend that I know everything any more. Now I have the courage to open my mind and learn without getting a swelled head by being overconfident.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

Success is how high you bounce when you hit bottom.

~ General George S. Patton ~

We all know about hitting bottom. Some of us look back and remember when we felt that we had lost everything. And some of us are grateful that we had a “high bottom.” Either way, it is well for us to keep that memory close to us, because it is rich in lessons; hitting bottom motivated us to try something new. Our old patterns were broken and we were opened to new ways of living.

When the future seemed most bleak, we were finally able to accept a better way. Little did we know that this very moment was the dawning of great prospects for our lives. We are grateful not for the crisis itself, but for its lessons and our current recovery. The bounce that follows hitting bottom continues for a lifetime as we continue to become better men.

Today I am grateful for this path that leads out of my deep valley and on to new vistas.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

Turn a disadvantage into an advantage; embrace that which is unfair.

~ Eileen Fehlen ~

We have all heard the saying “When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.” We may have been certain at times that a particular batch of lemons was far too sour to be redeemed. But we do not know what lesson might be in store for us in a particular set of circumstances. We can be certain only that God is in charge of the lesson and the outcome. Our part is to stay positive and hopeful, and to trust, to turn our life and our will over to God.

Embracing that which seems unfair is merely showing our loving Higher Power that we trust the ebb and flow of our lives. It doesn’t mean that we love what is happening; instead, it means that we are willing to let go and let God direct our actions. Though letting go may be difficult at first, when we grow accustomed to it, we will feel a great burden lifted from our shoulders. Giving our life to God to manage means giving ourselves freedom to laugh and play more. We deserve the relief. We deserve the joy this guarantees. And we will find it!

I deserve a peaceful, joy-filled life. If I let God help me today, I will feel so much better.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I need to "keep it simple"

I am slowly learning about my two chronic illnesses, addiction and a psychiatric disorder, and how to recover from them. Basically, I must take care of my emotional problem to make sure it doesn't stir up my chemical problem, and I must take care of my chemical problem to make sure it doesn't stir up my emotional problem.

These days I feel deeply grateful for the Twelve Step fellowship, one simple program that can help me with two mutually complicating illnesses. I have faith (and growing confidence) that if I follow my doctor's recommendations, work my Twelve Step program, and learn more about dual recovery I will recover.

I will ask my higher power to help me keep my simple and basic program of dual recovery strong.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

It’s great to be great, but it’s greater to be human.

~ Will Rogers ~

All of us dream and daydream about greatness. But in the end, it’s greater to be human. Great people live in a different world from most people. Many wish they could be just plain old human beings once in a while. They can’t walk into a store or go to a restaurant without being bombarded by people who want their autograph or want to just touch them.

Being just human beings, we don’t have to maintain a certain image. We can cry or get angry. We can be silly and say what we really mean. Being human, with all its frailties and foibles, is great compared with having to live up to a certain image all the time. As average and very human beings, we can accept our bodies with all their imperfections, enjoy our flawed and quirky minds, and be grateful to God for our blessings. And, when we humbly accept our humanity, we are all great in the eyes of our Maker.
Today help me Lord to accept my humanity and to remember that I am one of Your children. You love me; help me to love myself.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her.

~ John 8:7 ~

Writer Annie Dillard relates in her book Pilgrim at Tinker Creek a conversation an Eskimo has with a missionary priest. The Eskimo asks if he would go to hell after he died if he did not know about God and sin. The priest replies that if he did not know about such things, he would not be faced with hell. Why, the Eskimo then asks the priest, did he tell him about God and sin?

You may feel the same way in your work on Step Seven. Once you are confronted with the sins and transgressions you committed in your life as an addict, you may end up feeling much as the Eskimo did: that you were better off not knowing about your shortcomings.

But it is through this knowledge that you can learn to accept responsibility for your actions and learn how to treat yourself and others with greater respect and kindness. Through greater recognition of your shortcomings comes a sense of humility. You can recognize that you are not perfect, that you are not without fault, and that you will sometimes fail.

Step Seven teaches that I am not alone when I face my short-comings. My Higher Power is there to help me to become a better person.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

Give us to go blithely on our business this day, bring us to our resting beds weary and content and undishonored, and grant us in the end the gift of sleep.

~ Robert Louis Stevenson ~

Tonight, our reward for the day is sleep. To make sleep peaceful and relaxing, and filled with pleasant thoughts, we can spend time gently closing our minds to the day's events.

We can walk down a pleasant, nature-filled path in our minds. With each step we can move farther away from the day's activities and the many tasks we did or left undone. Look around us. We can see lakes and mountains and hear the soothing sounds of a speeding stream. Nothing is important now except peace of mind and the hours ahead in which our minds will be at peace.

Before we shut off the light we can spend a few minutes visualizing our pleasant nature walks. We can think Let Go and Let God and feel the day's tensions and pressures fall from our shoulders. Today has been good. We can close our eyes now and let the reward of sleep drift over us.

My day has been good. I have done well. I am satisfied and ready to let sleep overtake me.

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Using the phone

There are times when it seems that nothing can stop us from reaching for that first fix, pill, or drink. At times like these, it helps to reach for the phone.

Regardless of the time, day or night, we need to call our sponsor or another addict in recovery. It’s critical to call them before, not after, we use. Many are the times that such a call has saved all we have gained in the program.

Do I make good use of the phone?

Higher Power, may I not feel too shy or embarrassed to use the phone when in need.

Today I will call

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

I always believed that if you set out to be successful, then you already were.

~ KATHERINE DUNHAM ~

Newcomer

I recently spent some time with a friend's family. They're not addicted to anything and never have been; they're just fine, upstanding people. Their home and work lives are stable. They contribute to their community. I couldn't help comparing myself with them and thinking that they wouldn't want to have much to do with me if they knew the real me.

Sponsor

Our practice of comparing our insides with other people's outsides makes us forget that we don't usually get to hear all the details of other people's past difficulties. We can't assume that there are large numbers of adult human beings outside of this program who never have to face challenges, fears, and situations that resemble our own.

And what about you? You've faced your problems courageously; you're committed to doing whatever it takes to stay away from addictive substances and behavior; you're a contributing participant in this community of recovering people.

Our self-esteem may require care and nurturing in recovery. Over time, shame leaves us and allows us to appreciate more fully the value of what we have to contribute. Our past suffering doesn't diminish us. It makes us more compassionate and more useful to our fellow human beings.

Today, I'm a person worth knowing. I respect my own unique combination of gifts; no one else is exactly like me.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

In our drinking days, we were ready to take a poke at anyone who suggested we couldn't handle our “likker.” It was a very sore spot with us, as we all kidded ourselves into believing that our over-indulgence was a well guarded secret, when actually we knew it was not.

Upon our entrance into AA, we soon made a public confession of our alcoholism and, to our surprise, we lost some of the sense of stigma and we could learn to laugh at our affliction and at ourselves. Our sense of guilt was lessened by our acknowledgment of its existence.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

For Protection

Grant us, O God, Your protection;
And in Your protection, strength;
And in strength, understanding,
And in understanding, knowledge;
And in knowledge, the knowledge of justice,
And in the knowledge of justice, the love of justice;
And in the love of justice, the love of existence;
And in the love of existence, the love of God,
God and all goodness.

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

THE TEN COMMANDMENTS

And God heard their groaning, and God remembered his covenant . . . and had respect unto them (Exodus 224-25).

Moses grew up as the adopted son of Pharaoh's daughter with all the privileges and training of royalty. As the years went by and he witnessed the oppression of his people, he determined to lead them out of their bondage into a better life-their Promised Land. We are told "that their cry went up to God" (Exodus 2:24) and God Himself led them safely through their wilderness. Then at the time of their uncertainty, their moral laxness and emotional confusion, He gave Moses certain basic rules of life, which we still know as the Ten Commandments.

The Ten Commandments at their face value are true and valid, but that is only the beginning. If people are going to escape from the continuous strife and struggle of life, they must have something more. So within these commandments he concealed the deeper laws for those who were ready for them. And within those again, he concealed the deepest and highest spiritual teaching for those who were ready for that.

In other words, Moses designed these laws of life so that the higher we go spiritually, or the deeper we go intellectually, the more we can get out of them.

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Honest Courage

The art of life is to show your hand. There is no diplomacy like candor.

~ E.V. Lucas ~

Although Mike and Cindy were getting divorced, they continued to socialize and make plans to invest in a piece of real estate together. Meanwhile, the couple was at odds with each other emotionally and fought openly. As I sat on the beach with them and a woman named Sharon, I felt jarred by the constant flow of barbs and sarcasm the couple directed toward each other. lf they disliked each other that much, I wondered why they even spent time together, let alone planned to buy real estate.

"Would you two like to come and look at the property we are considering?" Mike asked.

“Thanks for the invitation,” I answered quickly, “but l have another appointment." (“Another appointment" meant "anything but this one.")

"How about You?" Mike asked Sharon.

"Generally, I would like to take the ride, but I am very uncomfortable with the hostility both of you are generating. I don't think I could be with it for several hours."

I gulped. I could hardly believe that Sharon had laid the truth out so plainly. She said what I wished I had the honesty to say if I had not feared the truth would be socially unacceptable. Sharon pierced through the veil of false politeness and cleared the air. Her intention was not to hurt Mike and Cindy, but to answer their question honestly. In this case, the couple was well aware of their energy; in other cases, other people may be well served to learn how they are affecting others. The truth is not always comfortable, but it has the power to remove the darkness.

Give me the courage to speak honestly so I may bring the truth to light.

I speak the truth with the intention to heal.