Today's Thought - February
 

February 1

We're not here to lose our sense of humor.

~Richie Berlin

Being too serious is habit-forming. However, many aspects of our lives are serious and need to be addressed. Our disease, for one, is very serious. Working the Twelve Step program to the best of our ability is serious too. So are being honest and loving with friends, taking responsibility for all of our behavior, and being willing to change. But we can get in the habit of being too serious in many areas of our lives where a lighter touch is called for.

Cultivating laughter, so it too can become habit-forming, benefits us immeasurably; however, this may not be easy. Our family of origin taught us that some things were funny and other things weren't. If we were laughed at rather than encouraged to see the humor in situations affecting us, we may find it hard to be comfortable with anyone's laughter. But we can work on this. We can begin by spending time with people who laugh and see the humor in situations that affect them. Our families were our earliest teachers; we can pick some new teachers now.

The more often I laugh today, the lighter my spirit will feel and the healthier my emotional life will become.

Today's reading is from the book A Woman's Spirit: More meditations for Women*

February 2

Before talking of holy things, we prepare ourselves by offering...One will fill his pipe and hand it to the other who will light it and offer it to the sky and the earth...They will smoke together...Then we will be ready to talk.

~Mato-Kuwapi, Santee Yankton Sioux

Rituals prepare us for moments of spiritual experience. They bring people together; they mark occasions; they give us metaphors through our senses that expose us to mystery, awe, peace, and wisdom. Traditional spiritual practices all use ritual to reach toward God. In our meetings, we also have rituals that accomplish these things.

We may have dismissed ritual in our cynical minds, thinking of it as irrelevant hocus-pocus. But when we seek connection with other people, or with God, we learn that ritual is a way to set our cynical minds aside and open ourselves to the presence. Even in our private time of prayer and meditation, we may light a candle as a sign of our spiritual search.

Today, I will honor the rituals that create conscious contact.

Today's reading is from the book Stepping Stones: More Daily Meditations for Men*

February 3

AA Thought for the Day

Fellowship is a big part of staying sober. The doctors call it group therapy. We never go to an AA meeting without taking something out of it. Sometimes we don't feel like going to a meeting and we think of excuses for not going. But we usually end up by going anyway. And we always get some lift out of every meeting. Meetings are part of keeping sober. And we get more out of a meeting if we try to contribute something to it. Am I contributing my share at meetings?
Meditation for the Day

"He brought me up out of a horrible pit, out of the miry clay, and set my feet upon a rock and established my goings." The first part, "He brought me up out of a horrible pit," means that by turning to God and putting my problems in His hands, I am able to overcome my sins and temptations. "He set my feet upon a rock" means that when I trust God in all things, I have true security. "He established my goings" means that if I honestly try to live the way God wants me to live, I will have God's guidance in my daily living.
Prayer for the Day

I pray that my feet may be set upon a rock. I pray that I may rely on God to guide my comings and goings.

Today's reading is from the book Twenty-Four Hours a Day: A Spiritual Resource with Practical Applications for Daily Life*

February 4

Nothing that is worth doing can be done alone, but has to be done with others.

~Dr. Reinhold Niebuhr

We who are blessed with a close-knit family, where thoughts and actions can be discussed and developed, are aware that what is given is not as important as what is shared. As we help one another, we learn that sharing can never exist unless we care first. This is the major ingredient of love.

Albert Schweitzer described human service toward a common goal as the greatest of deeds. Charles Dickens assured us that when we lighten the burdens of another, we can never consider ourselves useless. Those of us who are led today may show the way tomorrow. In giving, we receive, and in getting we cannot avoid being givers.

What do I receive by giving today?

Today's reading is from the book Today's Gift: Daily Meditations for Families*

February 5

To know the road ahead, ask those coming back.

~Chinese proverb

We're going down a new road - in our recovery and in our lives. We don't know the road. We only know we're on the right one, because our Higher Power led us here. We ask for help from those who already know the road. We ask our sponsor, "How far is it until I get done feeling guilty?" "How far to self-love?" "How bumpy is the road when I’m at Step Four?"

We need the help of people who have been in the program. They tell us where to slow down because this part of the trip is beautiful. Someday, maybe today, we too will be called on to guide others.
Prayer for the Day

Higher Power, You've put me on this road. You've also put others on this road. Let them be my guides. Let my guides become my friends.
Action for the Day

Today I'll find someone who has been in the program two or more years longer than me. I'll ask that person what the road ahead is like.

Today's reading is from the book Keep it Simple: Daily Meditations for Twelve Step Beginnings and Renewal*

February 6

I sidestep the either/or choices of logic and choose both.

~Ken Feit

Men like us have often had a lifestyle guided by either/or logic. We think either we must conquer the challenge we see before us or we will be failures. We think either our loved ones must meet our needs or they do not love us. We think either we must be perfect or we are unacceptable.

Let us now step back from the rigidity of such unhealthy logic. Much of human experience and many answers to our problems don't come in neatly tied packages. As we learn to think and feel in more flexible ways, we find life gets better. Using our intuition at times, rather than always following rigid rules for life, improves the recipe. The arrogance of our thought process has sometimes told us we had the answer, but it closed us to the growth which only comes by trusting our feelings. If we make mistakes, we can learn from them and go on. Many of the most ingenious inventions came not by rigidly following rules, but by following an inner feeling.

Today, I will be open to more possibilities in my thinking.

Today's reading is from the book Touchstones: A Book of Daily Meditations for Men*

February 7

The Gifts of Rest

At its core, resting is about being and not doing. It's about slowing down, breathing, setting devices aside, pausing and being still, being quiet. We often equate resting with sleeping, and getting enough sleep at night or taking a nap can be part of resting, but they aren't the whole enchilada.

Some people think that resting is an unproductive waste of time, but the opposite is true. Rest is a gift you give yourself, full stop. But if productivity is important to you, you should know that you will always be more productive on the other side of rest. You are better off to rest before you get tired. When we're tired, we're more susceptible to all sorts of things, like drawing on coping mechanisms that don't serve us. When we're tired, we pull from adrenaline for energy. Do you know what that means? We make things exciting - we manufacture excitement - so we can pull some energy from it. How about we manufacture energy by resting?

Can you schedule rest breaks throughout your day so that you can relax, refresh, or recover? Treat time as your friend. Lose any guilt you have about resting.

Rest is a crucial part of recovery.

Today's reading is from the book She Recovers Every Day: Meditations for Women*

February 8

Taking care of today

If we want to be free of chemicals, then we must begin making changes right where we are today. Idly wishing for the past to be removed or the future to come closer gets us nothing. We must focus on today to make possible a better tomorrow.

This requires a clear understanding of what we can and cannot do today. So let us not distress ourselves by dwelling in the past or future, but express ourselves to the fullest today.

Have I learned to take care of today?

Higher Power, guide me in my activities today and keep me from dwelling on the past or the future.

I will take care of today by...

Today's reading is from the book Day by Day: Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts*

February 9

Community in the Army and in Recovery

I joined the Army when I was seventeen years old. My first duty station was Berlin. If you ever think about what a POW camp looks like, that was Berlin, because we were surrounded by a wall and about 200,000 East German soldiers.

The bonds that I had with the people in my platoon were a huge part of my active-duty experience. These are the guys that you bled with, you sweated with, you trained with. You entrusted your life to these guys.

When I left active duty, I came back to the States and went to college. I immediately felt out of place. I was surrounded by other students who hadn't been deployed. I felt lost. I started drinking to try to feel normal.

But in recovery, I have found that solidarity again. The bonds that I have with my veteran community are amazing. We can talk about our time in the military and our time on the streets, because we've had the same experiences. It's almost like a family. These people are a key component of my recovery.

Today I will seek out connection,
because it is the opposite of addiction.

~JR W., U.S. Army, 1987–1995

Today's reading is from the book Leave No One Behind: Daily meditations for Military Service Members and Veterans in Recovery*

February 10

Reflection for the Day

I have been told over and over that I must constantly work to give up my old ideas. "That’s easy for you to say," I've sometimes thought. All my life, I have been programmed, computer-style; specific inputs brought forth predictable responses. My mind still tends to react as a computer reacts, but I am learning to destroy the old tapes and literally reprogram myself. Am I fully willing to abandon my old ideas? Am I being fearless and thorough on a daily basis?
Today I Pray

Help me to take inventory each day of my stock of my new, healthy thoughts, throwing out the old ones as I happen upon them without regret or nostalgia. For I have outgrown those old ideas, which are as scuffed and run over as an old pair of shoes. Now, in the light, I can see that they are filled with holes.
Today I Will Remember

The program reprograms.

Today's reading is from the book A Day at a Time: Daily Reflections for Recovering People*

February 11

The friendships we enjoy through this Twelve Step program are unconditional, honest, intimate, and lasting.

The freedom to let people know who we really are is perhaps the most treasured of all the gifts of this program. For most of our lives, we suffered from the fear that if people really knew us, they wouldn't like us. Worse yet, they'd abandon us. Our perpetual fear and shame kept us isolated. And we were so alone and lonely.

Today we have friends who are as close as a quick phone call. These women and men have struggled, as we are struggling, with the power of addiction in loved ones. With our friends in the program we can openly share our fears and anger. From our friends in the program we receive solace and guidance. We feel confident that our friends accept us wholly, that they won't judge us for our actions or for the behavior of our children or spouses. We can enjoy times of peace, at last, because of these new friends.

How grateful I feel that I have friends who will be glad to hear from me if I make a call. I won't be scared and lonely today.

Today's reading is from the book A Life of My Own: Meditations on Hope and Acceptance*

February 12

I am both a conservative and a radical; I would conserve what is valuable but willingly change what requires changing.

~Eric Maisel

We have the responsibility not to make promises lightly or thoughtlessly; the commitments we make to ourselves and others are important. But consistency doesn't mean we're never allowed to change our thinking or our lives.

As we plan our day, let's remind ourselves of our primary purpose, planning to keep the promises and commitments we've made. Let's also examine things we're doing that are a source of discomfort and consider departing from a habit or personal tradition that no longer fits us. Our sense of ourselves can be independent and fluid enough to support our growth. We can open our minds about what is possible for us to be and do, and we can bring our lives into truer alignment with our deep understanding of ourselves.

Let's plan that as new situations arise, we will make any new commitments with care, first considering our ability and willingness to keep them. We need not be limited by local ideas and customs, by roles that have been imposed by the culture, or by others' expectations of how we ought to express our identity.

Today, I expand my sense of who I am and can be.

Today's reading is from the book Glad Day

February 13

Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.

~Step Three of Al-Anon

Surrendering to a Power greater than ourselves is how we become empowered. We become empowered in a new, better, more effective way than we believed possible.

Doors open. Windows open. Possibilities occur. Our energy becomes channeled, at last, in areas and ways that work for us. We become in tune with the Plan for our life and our place in the Universe.

And there is a Plan and Place for us. We shall see that. We shall know that. The Universe will open up and make a special place for us, with all that we need provided. It will be good. Understand that it is good, now.

Learning to own our power will come, if we are open to it. We do not need to stop at powerlessness and helplessness. That is a temporary place where we re-evaluate where we have been trying to have power when we have none.

Once we surrender, it is time to become empowered. Let the power come, naturally. It is there. It is ours.

Today, I will be open to understanding what it means to own my power, I will accept powerlessness where I have no power; I will also accept the power that is mine to receive.

Today's reading is from the book The Language of Letting Go: Daily Meditations on Codependency*

February 14

The trouble with loving our neighbor as ourselves is that most of us do.

~Toni W.

Many people find it difficult to care about others as much as they care about themselves. The problem for us is quite different.

We can only give what we have. And the only love we have to give is the love that we've experienced for ourselves. That is our problem. Many of us have learned to feel shame at every turn, to expect abandonment, to look at the world through dark glasses. We haven't experienced ourselves as worthy objects of love - not often enough and not long enough. So the love we accord to ourselves is often tentative, conditional, halfhearted, and downright skimpy. Many of us are only able to love ourselves as long as it doesn't inconvenience or cause pain to others.

If we want to have more to give to others, we must first give more to ourselves.

Today, I will think about all the reasons I am lovable. I will demonstrate this love in all my dealings.

Today's reading is from the book Days of Healing, Days of Joy: Daily Meditations for Adult Children*

February 15

I'm more like I am now than I ever was before.

~Anonymous

We are becoming more ourselves. That is our true calling. If we grow wiser and stronger with life experience, we learn to know ourselves, and we find the confidence and courage to fulfill our best self. We walk a path that is sometimes very difficult and complicated. Weighing the choices before us, we seldom have a clear, unequivocal answer. But as we know ourselves better and as we gain confidence, we gradually fulfill our true nature.

A story in the Talmud describes a man at the end of his life who fears that he will be judged by God for not living a life like Moses. The rabbi replies that God will not judge him for not being Moses, but for not being himself.

Today, I will allow myself to be more like I am than I ever did before.

Today's reading is from the book Stepping Stones: More Daily Meditations for Men*

February 16

You can either be a host to God, or a hostage to your ego. It's your call.

~Wayne Dyer

Some of us are fond of saying "the devil made me do it" when we've done something we're not too proud of. We might as well say "the ego made me do it" because the ego is our own personal "devil."

Sometimes we like to claim that we weren't in complete control of our actions, that we were overcome by an irresistible urge. We can't, however, say that with a clear conscience. At one time in our addictive past, maybe, but not now. Now, we can be responsible. An urge can overcome us only to the extent that we let it - only as we give it the power of believing in it.

We have a choice. We can listen to the voice of our ego, or the voice of God. How can we tell the difference? By how we feel. The ego's urgings always leave us with some misgivings. God's guidance assures us.

I choose to listen to the voice of assurance.

Today's reading is from the book In God's Care: Daily Meditations on Spirituality in Recovery*

February 17

The Seventh Promise

Self-seeking will slip away.

~Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous

When we were using, constant self-seeking was our whole existence. Being forced to cut down or stop was impossible to imagine. It was an invasion of our right to live as we wished. It didn't matter that our choice was creating physical suffering and mental anguish for us and those who loved us.

We were always on the defensive. Our answer to any accusation or plea to quit was always "it’s none of your business," or "let me live my own life."

With abstinence, we began to practice understanding, humility, gratitude, caring and sharing with others, open-mindedness, faith in our program's recovery Steps, love of others, and belonging in a world of positiveness and action. We are beginning to attain a life where we realize we are truly people who need people.

When I became abstinent, I learned that making constant spiritual progress is what life is truly all about, and the self-seeking slipped away.

Today's reading is from the book Easy Does It: A Book of Daily Twelve Step Meditations*

February 18

I am a part of all that I have met.

~Alfred Tennyson

Too often we lose our way by forgetting that we are part of a community, a society, a world. When we were in our addiction, we closed ourselves off from others and drifted along alone. Fantasy, rituals, and acting out took us not out of ourselves, but deeper into loneliness.

As we go through life we make contact with others even if we don't always realize it. Looking, talking, smiling, touching, eating, walking, working, playing - all these activities are likely to bring us into contact with others. And the way we act and react does make a difference. Often a simple smile can make someone else's day. A hug breaks the ice of solitude. A kind word strikes a chord and is remembered.

Yes, we are part of humanity, and we get love and power from knowing this.

I want to feel part of a community of people in recovery.

Today's reading is from the book Answers in the Heart

February 19

My thoughts guide my day. Noticing how I awake can help me save the day.

~Kelley Vickstrom

We may envy friends who seem happy and peaceful. Why aren't they troubled as we so often are? The fact is, we can take actions to become more content too. One of the simplest is to ask our Higher Power for a positive attitude before we even throw back the bed covers.

Being in charge of what we dwell on is easier than we might imagine. We can practice the art of focusing our minds on the positive. Begin by stopping a thought, any thought, in midsentence. Think, instead, of how lucky we are to be in recovery. Focus on a blessing that is obvious today. Any time an unhealthy thought surfaces, drop it, replacing it with a blessing. This can become a way of life if we make the choice.

We have felt enough pain and experienced enough harm. Today can be much better. And it will be, if we carefully select our thoughts.

I am as happy as I truly want to be today. No one can steal peacefulness from me if that’s what I really want.

Today's reading is from the book A Woman's Spirit: More meditations for Women*

February 20

It’s often safer to be in chains than to be free.

~Franz Kafka

Some days we wish we could have stayed in a nice, safe detox unit or treatment center forever. Our choices and decisions were easier, and the temptations were farther away. Freedom is a challenge for us. We can do anything we want with it. But we had better choose a path and do what we really want to do, or our freedom will be our downfall.

Why? Because living with our freedom is like riding a bicycle. As long as we are willing to pedal our bike, we can go many places. If we stop pedaling, sooner or later we will fall over. We can do many things with our lives as long as we are willing to do the work. We can coast a bit to rest, but too much coasting means we fall over or go downhill.

Our recovery program teaches us to pedal - to do the work we need to do to stay free - and to use our freedom in the best possible ways.
Prayer for the Day

Higher Power, thank you for the freedom to choose what I make of my life. Please guide me as I pedal and help me find my pace and my path.
Today's Action

Today I will think about the times in my life when I enjoyed the ride. What choices was I making about how to use my freedom? What happened? I will talk about it with a friend and ask how it was for him or her.

Today's reading is from the book God Grant Me: More Daily Meditations from the Authors of Keep It Simple*

February 21

AA Thought for the Day

I'm grateful that I found a program in AA that could keep me sober. I'm grateful that AA has shown me the way to faith in a Higher Power, because the renewing of that faith has changed my way of life. And I've found a happiness and contentment that I had forgotten existed, by simply believing in God and trying to live the kind of a life that I know He wants me to live. As long as I stay grateful, I'll stay sober. Am I in a grateful frame of mind?
Meditation for the Day

God can work through you better when you are not hurrying. Go very slowly, very quietly, from one duty to the next, taking time to rest and pray between. Do not be too busy. Take everything in order. Venture often into the rest of God and you will find peace. All work that results from resting with God is good work. Claim the power to work miracles in human lives. Know that you can do many things through your Higher Power. Know that you can do good things through God who rests you and gives you strength. Partake regularly of rest and prayer.
Prayer for the Day

I pray that I may not be in too much of a hurry. I pray that I may take time out often to rest with God.

Today's reading is from the book Twenty-Four Hours a Day: A Spiritual Resource with Practical Applications for Daily Life*

February 22

In spite of everything I still believe that people are really good at heart.

~Anne Frank

In the face of being hunted for extermination, Anne Frank could write this from her hiding place in an attic. Was she naive? No. She deeply believed in the goodness of creation and the goodness of all creatures, including those who persecuted and murdered her people.

Somehow, young as she was, Anne Frank knew a truth we sometimes lose: that it is not what people do that makes them good or evil. It is who they are. And for Anne Frank, all people are made in the image of God - and therefore, deep down at their core, must be good. She was able to see through the brutality and hatred to that true creation of God.

We are left in awe at such faith and love. But we can draw from it too, and when our brother or sister or parent or child does something to hurt us, we can remember Anne Frank's ability to see what is good. We can look beneath the hurtful actions and forgive.

Can I forgive someone who has hurt me today?

Today's reading is from the book Today's Gift: Daily Meditations for Families*

February 23

Life didn't promise to be wonderful.

~Teddy Pendergrass

Life doesn't promise us anything, except a chance. We have a chance to live any way we like. No matter how we choose to live, we'll have pain and we'll have joy. And we can learn from both.

Because of our recovery program, we can have life's biggest wonder - love. We share it in a smile, a touch, a phone call, or a note. We share it with our friends, our partners, our family. Life didn't promise to be wonderful, but it sure is full of little wonders! And we only have to open up and see them, feel them, and let them happen.
Prayer for the Day

Higher Power, help me see the wonders of life today, in nature, in people's faces, in my own heart.
Action for the Day

I can help make wonderful things happen for others, with a smile, a greeting, a helping hand. What "little" things will I do for someone today?

Today's reading is from the book Keep it Simple: Daily Meditations for Twelve Step Beginnings and Renewal*

February 24

The body is the soul's house. Shouldn't we therefore take care of our house so that it doesn't fall into ruin?

~Philo Judaeus

Some men think it is a mark of a strong man to abuse his body and pay no heed to his health. Have we done this through drug use or abuse of food? Have we neglected our physical condition or health because of addictions or obsessions with other people?

To end abusive cycles, we need to act in self-respecting ways - sometimes before we feel self-respecting. Recovery and spiritual awakening involve the body, mind, and spirit. We need nutrition, exercise, sleep, and health care. Treating ourselves as worthwhile men helps us feel worthwhile. Tuning in to how we feel physically may give us some direction. As we sense how we feel, do we get some physical messages to guide our recovery?

I will yield to the messages I get from myself so I can enjoy the physical pleasures of recovery and give my soul a better home.

Today's reading is from the book Touchstones: A Book of Daily Meditations for Men*

February 25

Obstacles

Everybody encounters obstacles in life. There are the structural or societal obstacles that are difficult to break through unless you have the right amount of privilege and power. There are also the health and genetic obstacles that we can't control. But what about the obstacles that we can control?

Usually, it's easier to recognize external obstacles or limiting forces outside of ourselves than to acknowledge the obstacles that are self-imposed or self-created. Insecurity and self-doubt are the biggest self-imposed obstacles that I've had to overcome.

We can look at obstacles as signposts and indicators. We can observe them and be clear about them, but I've figured out the importance of not bulldozing or pushing through our obstacles. Rather, we can find a resting place to reflect and then design the best way forward. Sometimes obstacles are not meant to be overcome. I know this because I have been my own greatest obstacle throughout my life.

What obstacles do you face today? We may not be able to control all of them, but we can choose how we cope with them.

Today's reading is from the book She Recovers Every Day: Meditations for Women*

February 26

Solving problems

If we start the morning feeling hopeless, our day doesn't stand a chance. But if we ask our Higher Power for help in the morning and then accept the help throughout the day, we won't have to solve any problems alone.

We will see that problems can be resolved, and we are responsible only for our efforts.

Do I leave the solutions to my Higher Power?

Higher Power, grant me the strength to ask for help and simply to do my part well.

Today I will work on three problems and leave the solutions to my Higher Power. The problems are...

Today's reading is from the book Day by Day: Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts*

February 27

New Routine

I think we all still have a little manipulation left in us, no matter where we're at in sobriety. The Navy highly recommended I attend meetings, and I had to go get that stupid paper signed. I picked the treatment center director's wife to be my sponsor, because I thought it would look good on my record. They would be at the meetings, but I didn't know they didn't keep a record of my attendance. I honestly thought there was some chart or whatever.

Well, the thing is, they adopted me and treated me like a daughter. My first sponsor even coached me through labor with my oldest son. We developed such a close bond that, as the years went by, people new to the area thought my sponsor and her husband were my parents.

They spoiled me. They fed me. They picked me up and we'd go to their miniature farm. They'd have barbecues, meetings, and Easter egg hunts there. I told myself, Let's just try this on for size, because what's happening now is way better than what was happening. I can deal with this.

As I travel the road of recovery, I willingly welcome new people and new horizons into my life.

~Mary H., U.S. Navy, 1984–2004

Today's reading is from the book Leave No One Behind: Daily meditations for Military Service Members and Veterans in Recovery*

February 28

Reflection for the Day

Before we came to recovery, fear ruled our lives. Tyrannized by our addictions and obsessions, we feared everything and everybody. We feared ourselves and, perhaps most of all, feared fear itself. These days, when I am able to accept the help of my Higher Power, it makes me feel capable of doing anything I am called upon to do. I am overcoming my fears and acquiring a comfortable new confidence. Can I believe that "courage is fear that has said its prayers"?
Today I Pray

May my Higher Power help me overcome my obsessive fears. I have been running scared for so long it has become a habit. Higher Power, help me to see that I may be purposely clinging to my fears to avoid making decisions, perhaps even to shirk the responsibility of success.

Today I Will Remember

Fear keeps me safe from risk taking.

Today's reading is from the book A Day at a Time: Daily Reflections for Recovering People*

February 29

Making a decision to let God give us guidance eases our burdens.

Our first introduction to Step Three scares many of us. "You mean I can't do what I want anymore, that I'm no longer in charge of me?" we ask. What we come to understand from the shared wisdom of other people is that a caring God, however we define God, will give us comfort, direction, and the sense that we are no longer ever alone. And once we have grown used to relying on our Higher Power for help, we won't want to go back to how we lived before.

How many years did we struggle to make the right decision? Oftentimes our decisions affected more people than just ourselves. We fretted over the long-term effects. But no longer do we need to lose sleep over any situation. Our reliance on the guidance we have been promised will take the worry out of our lives, giving us time to accomplish goals that have been long forgotten.

I feel as if I’ve been given a new lease on life. What a good landlord my Higher Power is.

Today's reading is from the book A Life of My Own: Meditations on Hope and Acceptance*