Even More Recovery Readings and Meditations - June
 

June 1

Step by Step

"The spiritual life is not theory. We have to live it. Unless one's family expresses a desire to live upon spiritual principles, we think we ought not to urge them. We should not talk incessantly to them about spiritual matters. They will change in time. Our behavior will convince them more than our words." - Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, Ch 6, p 83.

Today, if called on to 12th-Step a prospect, I will not hammer the spiritual aspect of recovery if the topic seems to push away rather than draw in the prospect. Should the prospect who is weary of spirituality subsequently embrace the program and find sobriety, the words "(Spiritual awareness) will change in time" will ring true. Paraphrasing the saying that I was born of the Spirit but was taught religion, let me understand that others, like me, also may tie the two together - religion and spirituality - but that the program will lead them to their own understanding of a higher power. Today, if spirituality cannot be discussed with a potential member, let my actions speak louder than my words. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

TURN IT OVER

Freedom is not something that anybody can be given; freedom is something people take and people are as free as they want to be.

~ James Baldwin ~

Problems seem to be made of a thousand little Its: our family, our weight, our self-image, our job, our career, our relationships. These little Its become big Its as we magnify then. Our Its soon become dragons that devour us and chase us from place to place. The Its in our lives are always people, places, and things we cannot control. They are always outside us, and we let them attack us as enemies.

The Fellowship helps us see that usually Its are manifestations of us. Therefore, when It bothers us, It is just us bothering ourselves. When our It strikes out at us, It is us beating up on ourselves. When the Program tells us to turn It over, it quietly suggests that we give It to God. The fight has always been from within. The battle of will is one we always lose.

I always find a safe harbor when I turn It (my will, my problems, and my life) over to the care of my Higher Power.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

No matter what accomplishments you achieve, somebody helps you.

~ Althea Gibson ~

Some of us can get so full of ourselves when we win a race or get a raise that we think we did it all by ourselves. But the question is, what is really so good about the idea of doing it all by ourselves? Isn’t it just as good to achieve something great and give credit to all those who helped us? We live in a community of friends and neighbors; we are all part of a larger system that holds us up. We have teachers and mentors who help us on our way. We have doctors who help us keep our bodies healthy. We have loved ones who support us and give us more meaning in our lives.

During our active addiction, some of us were so invested in the idea of fierce individualism that we devalued anything that required help from others. That was a limited and immature way of seeing things. The paradox is that not until we could accept help could we gain the strength required for a better life.

Today I feel very proud of my accomplishments and very grateful for all the help I had in achieving them.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

Basically, I have two choices: either accept people and their behavior at face value, or remove myself from the situation. I cannot change other people, but I can control my behavior.

~ Lisa Keyes ~

Trying to control other people has been a long-term character defect for most of us. Becoming abstinent didn’t take away the seduction of control. Perhaps for some of us becoming abstinent even heightened the seduction. Minds no longer clouded by alcohol or other drugs see with greater clarity many more invitations to control.

At first glance, it seems unfortunate that becoming free of the obsession to use chemicals didn’t also free us of trying to control the people and events in our lives. But had that been the case, we would have relied less on our Higher Power for help to grow and change. And the greatest gift of this recovery program is learning that we have “One who is all powerful” to help us make decisions, to guide us every step of the way.

I will protect my serenity today by letting the people in my life take charge of themselves. If I begin to falter, my Higher Power will help me.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I can take a time out

It's late. I'm tired and in a bad mood. I'm paying bills and I'm getting more and more irritated as I open them‒especially the statements from my psychiatrist, therapist, and health plan. I'm ready to fling the pen across the room.

I clench the pen in my fist, clench my teeth, raise my arm‒and stop. Suddenly I realize that I am angry‒and not so much at the bills, but at my dual disorder arid at the mistakes I've made. It's not easy taking responsibility for my actions and making a commitment to recovery. I think what I need to do right now is to take a break and sort through these strong emotions.

Today I will practice the slogan HALT: I will avoid getting too hungry, angry, lonely, or tired.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

There is a Secret One inside us; the planets in all the galaxies pass through His hands like beads.

~ Kabir ~

We’re often amazed by the wonders of nature. It’s hard to feel significant when we think of the vastness of the universe. How can our Higher Power remember each of us with all the planets, stars, and conditions of the world happening at once?

Then we realize we’re putting our own human limitations on our Higher Power. This is also a clever way our ego promotes us to the status of a Higher Power.

We need to let go and let God. We need to remember that we rest in His hands. Our significance is no more or less than anyone else. He is within us and we are within Him. All we need to do is follow His lead, and everything will be as it should. We will trust in His will and practice, “Thy will, not mine, be done.”

Today help me keep things in perspective. It will be refreshing to let my Higher Power manage the world.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.

~ Step Six ~

A prayer is a humble and heartfelt communication with a power greater than yourself. A prayer can admit a weakness, communicate a need, or convey praise and gratitude. Prayers can unburden your heart, give you strength and courage, and deepen your faith and trust in a Higher Power. Use the following prayer as you work on your understanding and acceptance of Step Six.

Step Six Prayer Higher Power, I am ready to learn from your infinite wisdom so that, with your help, I can remove my defects of character. These defects have resulted in considerable discomfort and pain. They have prevented me from moving forward. They have kept me from knowing a better way of living and from becoming a better person.

Higher Power, I have looked deep within me. I have seen my defects. I confess these defects to you. I am ready for your help in removing these defects. I humbly pray for your guidance so I can release these defects and become a better person. I ask for your help so I will always be a seeker of truth and remedy in my life.

Higher Power, I am open to your guidance. I trust in you. Thank you for listening to my prayer.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

As the old man walked the beach at dawn, he noticed a young man ahead of him picking up starfish and flinging them into the sea. Finally catching up with the youth, he asked him why he was doing this. The answer was that the stranded starfish would die if left until the morning sun. "But the beach goes on for miles and there are millions of starfish," countered the other. "How can your effort make any difference?" The young man looked at the starfish in his hand and then threw it to safety in the waves. "It makes a difference to this one," he said.

~ Minnesota Literacy Council ~

Our efforts can make a difference. There will be many starfish on the paths we will travel and how we treat them will make a difference in our growth. The best resolution we can make tonight is to pay attention to the starfish we'll see. If we can reach out to all who need us, we will have made a difference to their lives and to ours.

My efforts can make a difference. I can take the first step toward making changes, taking risks, expressing feelings, and letting in the positive feelings of life.

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Practicing virtue

Love, justice, honesty, and patience are virtues, are ways to God. But even virtues can become defects if we misuse them. Love misused turns into possessiveness, justice into cold facts, honesty into brutal frankness, patience into irritable silence.

We need to know ourselves to understand what we’re doing and where we’re going. We need to look at ourselves to make sure that we have not misused our virtues and made them destructive. We must make sure we do not become self-righteous.

Do I practice virtue constructively?

Higher Power, help me not be so eager that my virtues turn into defects.

I will practice virtue humbly today by

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

She who conceals her disease cannot expect to be cured.

~ ETHIOPIAN PROVERB ~

Newcomer

I finally took a formal Fifth Step. I’d been dreading it for a long time. It meant being honest in a way that I never had been before. I thought I wasn’t going to survive the experience with a shred of self-esteem. But I was wrong.

Sponsor

Congratulations on your courage. Self-esteem, as you’ve discovered, won’t come from concealing parts of ourselves we think will cause another person to reject us. When we hide in hope of receiving someone’s approval, we cheat ourselves twice: we lose the freedom of being ourselves, and we discover the emptiness of mere approval.

A formal Fifth Step is a rare opportunity to be entirely ourselves in front of another human being and not suffer ill consequences. There’s no wrong way to do it. In the company of someone whose recovery we respect and trust, we can safely reveal what we may not be ready to share even with a family member or an intimate friend. We won’t be judged.

We may instead be reminded that a complete inventory is not simply a catalog of shortcomings or of things we wish we’d done differently, but of assets as well.

Today, my self-trust allows me to reach out to others.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

Each of us has only so many hours to live and we alcoholics have wasted far too many of them in the past.

New men, by the thousands, are crowding our doors, searching for our Message of Hope. Those who are endeavouring to carry the Message are frequently pushed to the limit of their available time for this purpose.

Have you the right to monopolize the time of the Twelve Steppers by indulging yourself in so-called slips?

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

SET ASIDE PRAYER

Lord, today help me set aside everything I think I know about You
Everything I think I know about myself
Everything I think I know about others and
Everything I think I know about my own recovery
For a new experience in myself
A new experience in my fellows and my own recovery.

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

THE MIDDLE WALL OF PARTITION

For he is our peace, who hath made both one, and hath broken down the middle wall of partition between us (Ephesians 2:14).
This is not only one of the most beautiful texts in the Bible, but one of the most important. Consider what it says. First, that God is our peace; next, that not only are we and God one (all spiritual teachers say that) but that it is He who has made us one. We are one because that is the nature of being since He has made us that way. Then the inspired writer uses a figure of speech. He reminds us that when we lost our sense of unity with God, it is exactly as though a wall was built between God and ourselves. When that happens communication is broken and we are no longer one in consciousness, until, of course, the wall is pulled down.

In any difficulty the one important thing is to have the temporary wall of partition pulled down, and to let God do it−for only He can.

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Happily Even After

Use no relationship to hold you to the past, but with each one each day be born again.

~ A Course in Miracles ~

On Father's Day, my friend Danielle took her two former husbands out to dinner. "l wanted to honor the two most important men in my life," she told me. "They are the fathers of my children, and we are all related." I respected and honored Danielle for keeping her former mates in her heart and acknowledging the good they had brought into her life.

Most of us are taught that when a relationship is over, both parties go their ways upset; one is the villain and the other is a victim. But what if suffering is optional? What if we can create our partings in any way we choose? What if we don't have to separate in anger and guilt, but go on to enjoy a friendship that lasts a lifetime and beyond?

We can let go of our old models of isolation and separation and replace them with kindness, caring, intimacy, and support. Because we are spiritual beings, it is not what our bodies do that determines the quality of our lives, but the state of our spirit. Although our bodies may go in different directions, we can remain whole and joined in the heart. The end of a marriage or relationship does not mean the end of love. True love spans far beyond the boundaries we have laid over it, and it does not die; it simply goes on gathering force until everyone and everything we look upon is blessed by our appreciation of each other as gifts from God.

I pray to honor the people in my life no matter what the voice of fear tells me. I will give love no matter what.

My relationships reflect the love of God.

June 2

Step by Step

"There may be some wrongs we can never fully right. We don't worry about them if we can honestly say to ourselves that we would right them if we could. Some people cannot be seen - we send them an honest letter. And there may be a valid reason for postponement in some cases. But we don't delay if it can be avoided. ...As God's people, we stand on our feet; we don't crawl before anyone." -Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, Ch 6, p 83.

Today, do not take for granted the weight of Step Nine when considering to whom we must - and can - approach with amends. Some wrongs may never be made right, and there may be no recourse if making an amend only to clear our conscience risks further injury or implicates an unknowing other person. In cases in which we can honestly conclude that direct amends are not possible, our actions rather than our words may be our only atonement, and our strongest action is to get and stay sober and continue to grow in recovery. When we can and must make amends, however, we are cautioned not to "crawl before anyone," not to submit to being the proverbial doormat. In drunkenness, we lost our footing which, in turn, triggered the damage we inflicted; in sobriety, we must stand on our own feet to give integrity to our amends. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

PROCRASTINATION

Procrastination is the thief of time.

~ Edward Young ~

The habit of putting off actions "until things get better" is one the most destructive detours from common sense we can make. Delays never make problems "go away"; they only make success harder to attain. If we shy away from "bringing out" our problems to others, we are sure to cause stress and misunderstanding.

Quite often, postponing facing up to reality results from fear that others will laugh at us. That is self-pity in action. Solutions come from direct and specific action. We always remember that others in our group give us "the right to be wrong," knowing that a change in direction is always possible for anyone with problems. Procrastination wastes precious time.

When I procrastinate about solving problems, I am only making sure they will get worse. Let me remember that solutions come from taking action.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use.

~ Wendell Johnson ~

Words are powerful. We have a way of thinking in terms of all or nothing, black or white, and seldom in shades of gray. If we like something, we want more and more of it. If we take on a project, we throw ourselves into it with all we’ve got. But the truth is, life is mostly somewhere between extremes. If a little of something is good, more is not necessarily better. When we have a bad day, it doesn’t mean that our whole life is a mess.

If we say, “You always ...” or “You never...” to a friend or loved one, the discussion is sure to intensify. If we use those words in conflict, the other person is sure to feel misunderstood. Always and never are extreme words that are rarely accurate. We are learning to live life in moderation and to think and see life more honestly.

Today I will remember to see the shades of gray, rather than the extremes of black and white.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

To not have control over the events that shape our lives is difficult. To not trust that Someone greater than me is shaping those events is unbearable.

~ Mary Larson ~

There is probably no greater frustration, particularly for us recovering addicts, than the realization that we can’t control the events and the people in our lives. The insanity is that we try to control everything anyway!

The sooner we come to understand that being in control only of ourselves is one of God’s gifts, the more peacefully we will live. What a terrible burden we’ve been shouldering all these years trying to do God’s work as well as our own. Not having to be responsible for the successes or the failures of everyone in our lives gives us hours of freedom to explore new horizons.

Coming to believe in a loving God may take practice. Yet the work is well worth our efforts. When the uncontrollable begins to frighten us, we can find relief in the knowledge that God will take care of us.

I will let my Higher Power handle other people today. I will attend to my own business and know many moments of peace.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I truly feel accepted at a meeting

While they have been supportive, I am sure my family members are weary of dealing with my emotional problems. My colleagues, though they know little, are suspicious, and I'm not surprised that they object to my moodiness, irritability, and frequent absences. But at my meeting, it's altogether a different story.

I notice it as I walk into the room. I see friendly and familiar faces. I see people I am learning to trust, even though l don't know them well. It feels wonderful. I relax and breathe deeper. I think more clearly, even though some thoughts are painful. I look forward to going back each week, and I sense that my fellow members want me to come back, too.

Just as I’ve been welcomed and accepted, I will do service for my group and welcome newcomers.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

Passion is a noisy thing — love lives quietly.

~ Lee M. Silverstein ~

Active addiction made our lives a series of jealous, angry rages followed by passionate appeals for forgiveness. We may even have grown to embrace pain like a lover, stroking our ever-present guilt. This was our life when it was empty of love. Our capacity for love, to give and receive, became misguided. Our drug of choice insisted on sole devotion, and repaid us with despair.

Sober love offers and requires appreciation and understanding; it allows us to step back a little and watch another’s growth; it gives us hope both within and beyond ourselves. Sober love is not so much a feeling as a series of loving acts, chosen freely. It is not ownership of another, but support for another’s freedom.

Today let me free myself and others to love without fear.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

Golf without bunkers and hazards would be tame and monotonous. So would life.

~ B.C. Forbes ~

What would life be like if every relationship was perfect and every day was filled with great satisfaction and went according to plan? A stress-free life would be like playing a golf course free from sand traps, trees, and difficult holes. While you might enjoy the ease of play, you would not learn how to make the tough shots.

There is no such thing as a life—or even a day— without some stress. Each day offers different variables— weather conditions, traffic volume, miscommunications, and malfunctions. Similarly, you feel different each day— some days you may be more tired or more energized than others. The most you can reasonably expect on any given day is the unexpected.

Instead of longing for today to be stress-free, begin your day as an eager student seeking answers: “What can I learn today? How can I grow? What will I be given that will test my knowledge and skills?” When you see each day as an opportunity for growth, you will be more capable of going with the flow and learning what you are capable of when you are put to the test.

Today might be a hole-in-one day, or it might be filled with many hazards. I will let the day unfold and learn from every experience I am given.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

You're only human, you're supposed to make mistakes.

~ Billy Joel ~

Are we determined faultfinders? It may be easy for us to point fingers at others or to cite instances of wrongdoing. It may also be easy for us to misinterpret another's actions, twist words, or make something seem totally opposite to the truth.

Everyone makes mistakes, including us. But somewhere along the path of our growth, we learned we could defend ourselves if we were judge and jury. So we took a defensive stance, clinging to our battle stations as we weathered school, family, relationships, and careers.

We don't have to be so ready to make ourselves blameless and faultless. We can disband our courts of law at any time. But when we do, we will be admitting to ourselves and the people in our lives that we are only human. When we, too, can see ourselves as human, we'll no longer look at life as a battlefield, but as a classroom where everyone is both teacher and student.

I can see myself as human and accept that no human being is blameless.

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Understanding

Absolute statements are almost always wrong: All blacks are this-, all whites are that, all men are this; all women are that, all addicts are (whatever). But here’s a statement that holds up under examination: We are all stumbling human beings.

Therefore, we all need to become as understanding as we can, for without understanding, we do not grant others their right to be “human.”

Do I overlook the shortcomings of others?

Higher Power, help me keep in mind that every woman is my sister and every man my brother.

I will be more accepting of my fellows today by

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

Today I have grown taller from walking with the trees.

~ KARLE WILSON BAKER ~

Newcomer

The person who listened to my Fifth Step was tuned in to just how frightened I was. He said, “You think I have a poor opinion of you for what you’ve shared, don’t you?” And he was right: I was full of shame.

I know that not everyone who hears Step Five works this way, but what he did really helped. He shared events from his life prior to recovery that matched what I’d told him. What he’d done in his past wasn’t identical, but it was equally destructive. There was much more to him under the surface than I’d guessed.

To say I was relieved was an understatement. He didn’t judge me; he didn’t judge himself. I feel as if my entire life changed in the process of sharing this Step.

Sponsor

I can rejoice with you because I, too, have experienced the freedom that comes from knowing I’m no longer alone with my secrets. I’d been judge and jury for so many years. I never thought to give myself the compassion or forgiveness that I felt for other people. Though my sponsor didn’t get into the details of her own history when she listened to my Fifth Step, she made it clear that my story was no worse—and no better—than others she’d heard. Nothing seemed to shock her or put her off—not even my worst. I thought, “So this is what it means to be human.”

Today, I’m a member of the human family.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

We come into AA and are told that we should endeavour to establish a conscious contact with our God as we understand Him; that we should, through prayer and meditation, get on speaking terms with Him. We brushed up on our rusty salutations of “Almighty” and practiced on our Thees and Thous only to learn that there was a simpler and more direct approach.

We found that we could “tune God in” to our hearts and consciences and that no other method was needed to send and receive messages. We learned that what we said was of no great consequence anyways, as our prayers were for His will, not ours, and we also learned that we had to make no direct request for those things that were for our good, as He knew our needs before we ever realized them ourselves.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

USEFULNESS PRAYER

God help me today to find balance
Between my character defects and the
Principles of our Program
So as, to be useful
To myself, all others, and You,
The God of my understanding.

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

YOUR DAILY VISIT WITH GOD

We all know that it is God alone who is our peace−although nearly all of us tend to forget it from time to time. We forget it when we begin to neglect our daily visit with God.

Now, when you think that you are too busy for your daily visit, let me ask you frankly, what wonderful thing are you doing that is more important? There is nothing that you could possibly do with that time that would bring you greater benefit than perfect peace. As a matter of fact, if you have something very important and urgent to do, your visit will make that very important thing go through much more easily and successfully.

Acquaint now thyself with him, and be at peace. . . (Job 22:21).

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Buddha on Board

Take care of you.

~ advice given to Julia Roberts character in Pretty Woman ~

Years ago, little yellow "Baby on Board" signs began showing up on rear windows of cars. The message meant that other drivers should be especially careful to avoid an accident with an auto containing an infant. A good idea, to be sure. But does this mean that we can be less careful to avoid colliding with a car containing an adult?

We all have a baby on board wherever we go. No matter what our age or status in life, we carry a fragile inner child in our bosom. That child requires tender care and protection, and we must do everything we can to keep it from being injured

Before a seminar I conducted, I asked each participant to send me a baby picture. I had these photos enlarged as transferred to T-shirts. The first night of the program, I gave out the shirts and told every- one, "In case you become angry at someone, look at that person's T-shirt. Imagine that you are dealing with a sensitive child rather than an armored adult. Speak to that child with patience and kindness.” The group loved the exercise, the program was a huge success, and everyone took their T-shirts home. I still wear mine when I want to remember my inner child.

You not only carry an inner child within you, but an inner Christ, Buddha, and any saint or angel you can imagine. These inner divine beings are much closer to your true identity than the person you usually identify with. Honor the Buddha on Board, and your outer life will reflect the respect you deserve.

I pray to treat myself and others with the gentle respect we truly merit.

God lives within me as me. I honor the light I am.

June 3

Step by Step

Today, gratitude and humility if my sobriety totals week, months and even years and understanding that I am no more sober than the alcoholic whose last drink was yesterday. Grant me the wisdom to be open to the lessons that I still have to learn in my own recovery and that some of those lessons can come from the alcoholic whose sobriety does not match mine in length of time. I must learn from the experience of the past that I am no more "cured" and just as much at risk of relapse as the newcomer or slipper who continues to struggle. I must also acknowledge the responsibility that the length of my sobriety exacts, namely to share with someone else what has or has not worked for me in hope that my own experience, strength and hope might speak to someone else. Today, I am sober only in the current 24 Hours, and I accept the responsibility that I have to my recovery. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

EXPECTATIONS

Stop expecting too much from yourself.

~ Anonymous ~

When there is too wide a gap between standards we set for ourselves and our actual achievement, unhappiness follows. If we can’t improve the performance, we should lower the demands. When we are true to ourselves, we come to expect only that which we are capable of doing. As we grow each day in recovery, we are able to do more.

What we expect from ourselves can change the next day. It is very important that through our meetings and conversations with fellow members, we keep close tabs on our development. We find out that life is for living, and it is better lived when we do our assignments every day.

We are really never given more than we can do. As long as we have realistic goals, we will be given what we need to succeed.

Today I'll remember that when my expectations are too high, I get stuck and down on myself.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

Man’s heart away from nature becomes hard.

~ Standing Bear ~

The wisdom of Native American spirituality is deeply centered on the natural world. It teaches us to respect the earth and all natural things. It teaches us, as many world religions do, that we are made of earth and live by the gifts of nature. The word humility comes from the word humus, meaning “of the earth.” When we become alienated or too far removed from nature, we become disconnected from ourselves. We lose our place and become willful.

Humility is not the same as shame. Humility is self- respecting and it expresses that we have a place in the entire web of life. One aspect of a spiritual life is the feeling of awe. Where better to return to the feeling of awe than in sight of a massive mountain, the sea, a powerful storm, or the intricate details of a flower or a stone.

Today I will return to the natural world around me, and with awe, I will give thanks.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

I think it must have been at home, while I was a small child, that I got the idea the chief end of woman was to make clothing for mankind.

~ Lucy Larcom ~

We define ourselves within the context of our lives. We may be single, married, divorced, or widowed. We may be career women, we may be home-makers. We may be in school or even retired. Our roles are multiple, but one trait we share is the desire to live free of mood-altering chemicals.

Our Twelve Step program allows us many opportunities to define ourselves. Drawing on the support of women who care about us and the guidance of our always-present Higher Power, we can redefine ourselves. We don’t have to fulfill another’s expectations of us. Recovery is our opportunity to follow our own path. Following our passions while listening to the wisdom within is true self-definition.

I live with others. What they want of me may not be my Higher Power’s choice for me. I will listen to the voice within me today.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I am becoming willing to ask for help

I feel so anxious, I'm pacing. I feel panicky. (Drinking used to help, but I am sober now.) I'm afraid that if I sit down, I'll become paralyzed. I'm not sure I can call for help. Would anybody understand? Could anybody really help?

And yet I don't think I can handle all this on my own anymore. I don't think I should try to manage this alone anymore. I'm tired of this fear and isolation. I feel desperate‒like I did just before I stopped using. Perhaps‒perhaps I can reach out for help. I did it once before, for my addiction. Maybe I can do it again.

I will now pick up the phone and dial the number of a trusted friend.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

The process of growing in detachment allows the entire Twelve Step program to flow.

~ Betty Reddy and Orv McElfresh ~

Just as addiction affects the whole family, so does recovery. The principles we learn often improve many aspects of family life: we are more open, more calm, more honest, more eager to share, and more ready to listen.

But some family members may be resistant to recovery in any form. We have found the best way to respond is by detaching with love. We must protect our own recovery, and not try to change others.

Families can be a source of strength. If we do our own part, and learn to detach with love, we give others a chance to see firsthand the joys of recovery. Detachment with love is a beautiful tool when others choose not to support our recovery. We can keep growing and avoid getting tangled up in the resentments of others.

Today help me remember that what is true for me might not be true for someone else. Help me practice recovery principles in all my affairs.

**************************************************

~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

In the old days, if a person missed the stagecoach he was content to wait a day or two for the next one. Nowadays, we feel frustrated if we miss one section of a revolving door.

~ Modern Maturity ~

The pace of life is faster than ever. New technologies facilitate round-the-clock manufacturing. Courtship has been upended by online matchmaking sites. E-mails, texting, and instant messaging have replaced the enjoyment of long phone conversations.

This sense of time urgency can spill over into your recovery, making it seem as if it is moving at a snail’s pace. You may arrive at a meeting late and only half-listen to what others are saying as you keep one eye on the clock and the other on your text messages. You may put off reading the Big Book because you believe you do not have the time.

While a speedy recovery is sought for poor health, having a need for speed in recovery from your addiction will not help you get better faster. In fact, the deliberate day- by-day pace of recovery imparts a valuable lesson: take time in all that you do for a greater appreciation of the efforts you make and of what those efforts help you to achieve.

Today I will break out of the whirlwind of doing. Rather than operate in a perpetually frantic mode, I will take the time to appreciate and notice what I am doing.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

The ebb and flow of will is like the movements of the tides. . . .If we cease our vain struggles and lamentations long enough to look away from the personal self . . . we realize life is going well with us after all.

~ Charles B. Newcomb ~

Everything in nature changes. We can trust the sun and moon will rise and set, the tide will ebb and flow, and the seasons will change. Because we can trust these things to happen, we can learn to trust the fact that extremes in nature are normal.

So it is with people. We laugh and cry, work and play, we are young and we grow old. There will be extremes with us, just as there are in nature. And as nature finds its natural flow even after the worst disasters, so can we find our natural flow.

There is a rhythm in life that leads us to awaken and one that guides us to sleep. Tonight our natural rhythm will lead us to peace and relaxation. If we can flow with that rhythm, we'll give the quiet calmness a chance to revitalize us for tomorrow. Now is the time to follow nature's rhythm and sleep in peace.

Can I rest tonight in quietness of mind, soul, and body and trust I will find my natural flow?

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Accepting ourselves

Many of us used to think that our Higher Power hates this or that about us or about others, but our Higher Power doesn’t hate at all. Our Higher Power accepts us and loves us no matter how we have lived. It understands that we are capable of changing.

This is the only way we come to know God, even as we begin to accept ourselves and others. The ability to accept ourselves more and more is a gift from God. It comes as we build upon the strong, valuable parts of ourselves.

Am I learning to accept myself?

Higher Power, help me believe in your acceptance, forgiveness, and generosity; help me to be willing to see myself in a new way.

Today I will work on self-acceptance by

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

**************************************************

~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

Dangers foreseen are the sooner prevented.

~ RICHARD FRANCK ~

Newcomer

Lately I keep feeling pulled by thoughts of a minor habit, something that was never important to me before. I keep thinking, “Where’s the harm? It’s not what brought me in here. It’s not going to kill me.”

Sponsor

In recovery, we may still hold on to the belief that something outside ourselves will fix us. We may have quit alcohol, marijuana, heroin, or compulsive gambling, but may think that pints of ice cream or hours of television pose no problem for us. Or perhaps we’ve stopped overeating compulsively and find ourselves craving a drink or a cigarette when we’re under stress.

We’re vulnerable to potentially addictive habits, and we may need to pay attention to our attraction to substances or activities that others can take or leave. Our use of anything compulsively may get worse; it may turn into a new dependency or even make us less careful about treating our primary addiction.

If we’re having questions about a particular substance or behavior, we can ask ourselves why we want to use it. Are there feelings, positive or negative, that we’re uncomfortable with? Are there things we have to do that we’re avoiding? At times like this, it can be helpful to increase the number of meetings we’re attending. Talking about our concerns with a sponsor or another person whose recovery we trust may also help take some of the pressure off.

Today, I stay connected to my feelings.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

The harvest is great and the laborers are too few. Too often we get a new man, we work diligently on him, get him to a meeting or two and then another new man appears and we drop the first one and frequently never see him again.

This is not to imply that we are to carry him on our backs indefinitely, but we can utilize an occasional spare ten minutes to call him on the phone. We can keep our eyes open for him at the meetings and if he misses several in succession, we can look him up.

Remember you were the midwife at his rebirth in this new life and you should not neglect him in his AA infancy.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

PRAYER DURING TURMOIL

Dear Higher Power,
During times when my world becomes unhinged
And the foundations of what I believe crack and dissolve,
Give me the grace to believe that Your power is at work in the turmoil of my life.
Lead me to remember that Your power is greater than all evil,
And though the world may rock and sometimes break,
It will in time be transformed by Your Love.

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

WHAT IS YOUR ACT!

People are to be judged by their actions. We sometimes hear it said, "His conduct is bad but at heart he means well"; but this is nonsense. In the old-fashioned phrase, "handsome is as handsome does."

The bad tempered person cannot possibly have "a heart of gold" as is sometimes charitably said. A bad tempered person has a mean, selfish heart and should get busy and change it without delay.

One who loves does not seek his own advantage. Love acts the part, and anything else is hypocrisy.

. . . be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another,
even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you (Ephesians 4:32).

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

The Unaffordable Budget

In my defenselessness my safety lies.

~ A Course in Miracles ~

On the Star Trek television series, the crew of Starship Enterprise regularly faced a tough dilemma. While holding up their force-field shields to ward off an attack, the ship would lose power to do anything else. Engineer Scotty would report to Captain Kirk, "Our shields are draining our energy. If we are going to make a move of any kind, we are going to have to drop them." The crew would then have to come up with some ingenious plan to triumph, and they always did.

Any energy we invest in defense robs us of creativity and diminishes our ability to move forward. Our country spends a billion dollars a day on our war machine; imagine the service that money could generate if it were invested in education, social medicine, the arts, housing, and human services. How much is defense worth?

On a personal level, the more energy we spend in hiding, the less alive and creative we are. Any game that requires defense does not befit the son or daughter of God that you are. Consider bringing your hidden self into the light, and you will liberate the riches of your soul. You might think that if people knew who you really are, you would be crucified; but if you knew who you really are, you would be exalted.

Show me how to live in the light. I do not want to hide anymore. Help me trust that my true strength lies in authenticity.

I am as God created me. I renounce fear and regain my soul.

June 4

Step by Step

"We have been dealing with alcohol in its worst aspect. But we aren't a glum lot. If newcomers could see no joy or fun in our existence, they wouldn't want it. We absolutely insist on enjoying life. We try not to indulge in cynicism over the state of the nations, nor do we carry the world's troubles on our shoulders ...(T)hose of us who have tried to shoulder the entire burden and trouble of others find we are soon overcome by them." - Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, Ch 9, p 132.

Today, if in service work I take on others' addictions and recovery, let me remember that the lifeline of AA is tossed to us by another person but it is we as individuals who grabbed it. And if I should be the 12th-Stepper who throws out the lifeline, let me accept that it is not within my control to make the other person grab it. Likewise, let me not be tinged with cynicism or hopelessness of the state of the world because it, like the power of alcohol, is something I cannot control. Today, if the message I carry falls on deaf ears, I will not feel like a failure and, likewise, I will not bolster my ego by claiming "success" if the message is heard. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

THE VALUE OF TIME

Remember, the pursuit of happiness is futile. Happiness, peace of mind, and serenity are the results of the way YOU think God would have you live.

~ Anonymous ~

Relaxation and recreation are important to us all. Rest and entertainment prepare us for the challenges of life by giving us new energy and purpose.

During our sharing, we can all learn to use time well by preparing for the future. Of course, living in the now as well as we can, one day at a time, is our main concern.

A story goes that a carpenter was asked why he was repairing a judge's bench chair with extra care, and he replied, "Because I want it comfortable when I sit in it myself." And he actually did earn that honor some years later! Setting realistic goals now is using time well by preparing for the future.

If I didn't plan for the needs of my future, it would be like not planting seeds to build tomorrow's forests.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

When it comes to staying young, a mind lift heats a face-lift any day.

~ Marty Bucella ~

We can choose to focus our attention on the image we present to others, or to focus on who we are on the inside. When we feel inadequate or empty, it may never occur to us to do something about how we feel about ourselves. Instead, we may have learned to try to control how others see us—as if that were the path to self-esteem. In our recovery, we learn that the basis of true self-esteem is to have values and follow them. No matter how successful a man becomes economically, no matter how many achievements he can point to in the world, it is never enough until he feels right about himself as a person.

We can be grateful for a program that points the way toward genuine success: true self-respect and self-acceptance. That doesn’t mean we never regret something we have done; it means we make distinctions between who we are and what we have done. When we have values and follow them, sometimes we fall short of our own standards. Then we admit our shortcomings and repair them. In so doing, our inner self-acceptance is maintained and we once again affirm who we are.

Today I am more concerned about the man I am than about the image I show to others.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

We’re all recovering, all the time, from something; we’re growing out of the old and into the new.

~ Jan Lloyd ~

We are in a constant state of change. With each passing moment we are gathering new insights, collecting new experiences, defining new perspectives. Even when it feels as if our friends are passing us by, we can take comfort in knowing that we are not standing still.

The rate of growth is different for each of us. It depends on how quickly we assimilate the growth experiences and specific information our Higher Power wills for us. The more we struggle against the closing of a familiar passageway and the opening of a new door, the more our pace is hindered. We can quicken the pace by trusting that we are always given exactly what our Higher Power has in mind for our next stage of living.

Each day’s experiences are part of the trip that God has planned for us. We will never be in danger as long as we trust the spiritual guidance that speaks to us in the quiet places of our minds.

I am in safe hands. I can leave the old behind and trust the growth experiences I will receive today.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I am OK

I feel ashamed and small at times: stereotypes are hard to fight. Some people think that everyone with a mental health problem behaves bizarrely, looks odd, or is stuck in a hospital.

But it's not true. I have a mental health problem and I am in recovery. I hold a steady job, provide for my family, and I look like most of the other fathers on my block (except for the ones with more hair!) I believe that I am more like everyone else than I am different. And what's more important is that no matter what anyone else says (or thinks), I am OK.

I will list two ways that I am like everyone else or two ways that I am OK.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

Listen, my friend, there is one thing in the world that satisfies, and that is a meeting with the Higher Power.

~ Kabir ~

How we choose to start a day will set the tone for the rest of the day. Will we make time to take care of all our needs today? It’s important to eat a healthy breakfast and exercise a little each day. Our bodies feel refreshed by a hot shower or a comforting soak in the bath. Our bodies need rest. Sometimes we need a good night’s sleep, other times just a nap. In this way we care for and nurture our physical selves. Are we also tuned to our spiritual needs? Do we make time to stop and visit with our Higher Power on a daily basis? Too often, we ignore our spiritual needs and our souls go hungry. A daily meeting with our Higher Power is as important to our spiritual health and growth as a meal is to our bodies.

This spiritual time we set aside each day offers our souls the opportunity to quench the thirst and satisfy the hunger for spiritual food and drink.

Today let me care for all my needs. Help me to respect my body as well as my soul.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

So I close in saying that I might have had a bad break, but I have an awful lot to live for.

~ Lou Gehrig ~

While much about Lou Gehrig’s battle with amyotrophic lateral sclerosis was kept out of the public eye, today we know the debilitating effects of the illness that robbed him of his career in professional baseball. We understand more clearly how the disease creates a powerless person inside of an ever-weakening body.

Even Gehrig’s patience, strong will, and positive attitude could not cure him of his illness. Each day his body broke down a little more and made even the simplest of actions extremely difficult to perform. Yet he coped with pride and dignity, and drew strength from those who cared about him. In his farewell speech before thousands of fans, he proclaimed a statement that, even today, has the power to both humble and awe: “I consider myself the luckiest man on the face of this earth.”

Will you do the work in recovery that you need to do with pride and dignity, or will you have a defeatist attitude? Will you triumph over your addiction, or will you let your addiction get the better of you?

Today I will remember that there are others who face greater challenges and hardships, and they do so with a positive attitude.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

In three words, I can sum up everything I've learned about life: It goes on.

~ Robert Frost ~

If we've ever dug in a garden and unearthed an ants’ nest, we can recall their first reaction to our unintended destruction: they do everything possible to save their lives and supplies. The ants scurry around, moving the larvae to an underground room. Exposed contents are then relocated to unseen passages. In a matter of minutes, the ants are again safely underground and ready to resume their daily routines.

How do we react when some catastrophe or unplanned event occurs? Do we want to crawl under a rock or are we as resilient as the ants? Instead of moaning over postponed plans or the loss of something in our lives, we can try to be like the ants and learn how to best work with circumstances that come our way.

Life doesn't stop for us to lick wounds or add fuel to grievances. Hours pass, we grow older, nature continues. Every event is part of life's cycle. We can't run away from anything. We must meet life head-on and adjust to its ebb and flow.

I can look at an unplanned event in my life as part of lie's cycle. I need to trust that life will go on.

**************************************************

~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Telling tales

We have such egos. Even when we talk about our troubled past, it often sounds as though we’re bragging. We seem to take pride in how we used drugs, how much and how often we used them. We build up our stories and often try to top the other guy’s drug-alogue. It seems we’re saying, “See how good I am! I don’t do those things anymore.”

But now that we’re in recovery, now that we have a choice in our behavior, trying to impress others with our past doesn’t show serene, spiritual people—it shows insecure, egocentric braggarts.

Am I a storyteller?

Lord, help me avoid glorifying my story to impress myself and others.

To keep my story straight today I will

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

You’ve no idea what a poor opinion I have of myself, and how little I deserve it.

~ W. S. GILBERT ~

Newcomer

I’ve been invited to speak at a meeting. It’s not one I usually go to; it’s out of my neighborhood, in an area where I’m pretty sure many people have had far worse experiences than mine. I’m afraid that they won’t take me seriously, and I’m nervous.

Sponsor

Let’s assume that most of the people in the room sincerely want recovery. Like you, they’ve learned that it’s better to identify than to compare. They’ll be listening for feelings similar to the ones they had when they were active in their addictions; they’ll be listening for the miracle—the choice of recovery over addiction—and for the dignity and self-esteem of a sober life. Like you, many of them will listen for one thing to take away that is useful in their recovery. There’s no way we can know ahead of time what will strike one of our listeners as helpful. And if what you say doesn’t keep anyone sober but yourself, that’s one life saved.

The more willing we are to set ego considerations aside, the more room there is for our Higher Power to flow through us and others.

Today, I pray to be useful.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

A split second separates the past, the present and the future. The course of history has been altered in a moment of decision on the part of one man. Inventions that have revolutionized our mode of living may have taken years to perfect but the idea behind them was born in a flash of thought between the ticks of a clock.

In that great day when you determined that you had had enough, that you were whipped, the resolve took but a fraction of a second, but in that instant you closed your past and opened your future.

A moment of thoughtlessness can put you back in the past again.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

NEXT RIGHT STEP

God, please show me all through this day,
What is the next right step.
Give me the strength, faith, and courage
I need to take care of the problems in my life.
Show me the solutions, for I will take the
Next right actions. And, I ask to be free
From self-will and fear. Your will, not mine,
Be done. Amen.

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

SEEKING AND FINDING

People are very apt to find what they seek. You have noticed that people who go about looking for trouble, practically always find it. The popular proverb, "Listeners seldom hear good of themselves," is an example. We also know people who love to say that they never have any luck. When things seem to go against them, they exclaim triumphantly, “Wouldn't you know it? −that is what always happens to me!"

Now, such a mistaken person needs only to alter this habit and he will automatically alter his life. It is often difficult to get such people to make this alteration, but if they do the result is never in doubt. Spiritual law says that it is never too late to mend, and that when we seek God's help we find it.

Look unto me, and be ye saved, all the ends of the earth; far I am God, and there is no one else (lsaiah 45:22 ).

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Get a Job

Thank God every morning when you get up that you have something to do that day which must be done. Being forced to work, and forced to do your best, will breed in you temperance and self-control, diligence and strength of will, cheerfulness and content, and a hundred virtues which the idle never know.

~ Charles Kingsley ~

My friend Stanley seemed to live an enviable life. At a young age, he inherited a fortune from his father, and subsequently never held a real job. Stanley spent most of his time traveling, visiting friends, and dabbling in various projects for fun. As I got to know Stanley, I noticed that he made poor choices in managing his life and his money. He was easily influenced, and he was a bad judge if character. When I discussed Stanley with my counselor, she noted dryly, "He needs a job."

A life that is too comfortable and cushy may weaken us. While there is nothing wrong with having a lot of money, and we are certainly not required to slave at an occupation we hate, there is a value in engaging in work that teaches us to manage our resources wisely and learn the importance of right service, activity, and integrity. Dealing in the marketplace moves us to stretch and enter into situations that challenge us to see and tell more truth, communicate, and grow.

After years of intensive traveling, lecturing, and dealing in the business world, my spirit needed a rest, and I took a sabbatical from work for a year. I spent the first month of my retreat doing nothing, thinking to myself, "This is the life! I am never going back to work again!" As the months went by, I felt more and more healed, and by the time the year was over, I was ready and enthusiastic to return to activity. I needed the rest, but I also needed the stimulation.

Work is not a bad thing; it builds muscles and opens doors that we would not access on our own. Right livelihood brings forth the greatness inherent in our soul and assists us to fulfill our purpose as creative beings.

I pray to put my strengths and talents to their best use, that I may serve and grow.

My work is a joyful and productive expression of my inner spirit.

June 5

Step by Step

"A body badly burned by alcohol does not often recover overnight nor do twisted thinking and depression vanish in a twinkling. We are convinced that a spiritual mode of living is a most powerful health restorative." - Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, Ch 9, p 133.

Today, patience to recover and overcome the years of physical, emotional and spiritual abuse to which I subjected my entire being with alcohol. The promise of a spiritual remedy we need - if we apply it honestly and diligently - will restore us to some level of physical, emotional and spiritual wellness and sanity. In my impatience that is bred of my addiction, let me remember that I am, by nature, hungry for everything now but that not even my impatience can rush the speed of recovery. Today, I take it One Day at a Time. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

FORGIVENESS

Never does the human soul appear so strong as when it foregoes revenge and dares forgive an injury.

~ E.H. Chapin ~

Unless we can freely forgive others, we will never be able to forgive ourselves. The Freedom to give ourselves a second (or third, or fourth) chance to right a wrong or perform a helpful act opens the way to spiritual growth.
Unqualified forgiveness, both for others and for ourselves, keeps.us from being overcome by guilt or shame over not being kind to ourselves and those around us. Forgiveness is a first step in making emotional progress; all succeeding steps become easier.

My sponsor told me to imagine climbing a beautiful hill and sitting in the sunlight, then to imagine my enemy climbing the same hill and sitting with me. Then I was to leave my enemy in the sunlight while I walked down the hill. This, my sponsor said, was forgiveness.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

Wisdom doesn’t necessarily come with age. Sometimes age just shows up all by itself.

~ Tom Wilson ~

If we live long enough, we will grow old. During that time we will make plenty of mistakes and have plenty of opportunities to learn from them. However, sometimes we refuse to accept the lessons that are wrapped in our experience. We may be so determined to have what we want that we deny the truth of what we can actually have. We may be so prideful or so stubborn or so insecure that we defy the lessons we are being taught and refuse to open ourselves to a new idea. We grow older, but not smarter.

Some men become very grown-up and very strong in wisdom at a young age. They are blessed with an open, engaging attitude and a willingness to surrender to truth when it faces them. We should cultivate an attitude of learning, of openness to new lessons, and of willingness to learn the lessons taught by our mistakes.

Today I will learn from my experience and become a little stronger and a little wiser.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

I empower myself when I choose not to be a victim anymore.

~ Kathy Kendall ~

During a rational discussion with friends, we easily reject the victim persona. We claim control over ourselves, and we definitely don’t intend to give others power to harm us. However, when alone and faced with the “bullies” in our lives, we struggle to gather our strength and resistance.

Bullies come in many sizes and shapes. They aren’t always easily recognized: some are female, others male; some are young, others old. More often than not, they don’t do us physical harm. But the emotional harm they wreak can be truly damaging. Their effects on our minds and spirits can immobilize us as severely as a broken bone.

Fortunately, we have the Twelve Step program to shield us from the “abusers” in our lives. It also gives us the strength of numbers. Sponsors and friends will help us remember to follow God’s direction when we get momentarily led astray by the words or actions of those who’d harm us.

I am in good company in my recovery program. I will look to those I trust for support when I need to stand up for myself.

**************************************************

~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

My appearance is important to me now

When I was using drugs and having serious symptoms, I didn't much care what happened to me‒except staying high as long as I could. And I didn't much care about how I looked to anyone else. It didn't matter.

But with a little abstinence and stability, I care about myself more. I feel a new respect for myself that includes my body and especially my face. In recovery it's important to me that I look OK. When I take care of my appearance, I feel better about myself.

Today I will shower, comb my hair and put on clean clothes.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

Life does not need to be changed, only our attitudes do.

~ Sri Swami Rama ~

Clowns can change their attitudes at will, with the help of make-up, color, and posture. And clowns can reach out and grab our hearts with sadness or smiles. We also can bring sadness or smiles to life each day.

We are the makers of our daily attitude, and we are responsible for the light or gloom we put on each morning. What a wonderful gift we bring to ourselves and others when we choose to wear a happy smile and look at the bright side of life. This doesn’t mean we should neglect our sorrow and losses for we can share those with our group, our sponsor, or our Higher Power. It does mean we have a choice each morning, as we decide whether the world feels basically friendly or unfriendly.

Greeting the day by expecting the best in people and events helps us create an atmosphere of joy and goodwill wherever we go. It is our program in action.

Today let me believe the world is basically friendly and trust that good things will come to me.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

When I found out I thought God was white, and a man, I lost interest.

~ Alice Walker ~

Out of all the work that you need to do in recovery, one of the hardest tasks may not be abstinence but the development of trust and belief in your concept of a Higher Power.

Within the program, the terms God or Higher Power simply signify something greater than you. It is up to you, in your recovery, to determine how you personally develop a greater understanding of a spiritual presence in your life. Maybe you feel, as Alice Walker writes in The Color Purple, that “God ain’t a he or a she, but a It.” Perhaps, for you, a Higher Power is not a being but a feeling or an essence—the unfolding of a sunrise or the sound of ocean waves lapping the shoreline.

The form your spiritual guide takes or the name you apply to it is not as important as the substance of what this guide symbolizes and how you can embrace its guidance and wisdom. Belief in something other than yourself and greater than yourself is where your spiritual awakening begins. Where this essence takes you is your spiritual journey.

Today I believe in something greater than myself that will restore me to sanity and empower me to become a better person.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

Fear imprisons, faith liberates; fear paralyzes, faith empowers; fear disheartens, faith encourages; fear sickens, faith heals; fear makes useless, faith makes serviceable.

~ Harry Emerson Fosdick ~

It has been said that the opposite of fear is faith. But how do we change our fears into faith if we have little or no faith? How do we start having faith? One of the easiest ways to develop an alternative to fear is to ask ourselves during a moment of fear: What is the worst that could happen? Once we know the answer to that question, we have dealt with the source of our fears−the unknown.

What do we fear now? First we need to identify all the unknowns that we fear. Once we recognize all the things that can happen, we will be able to prepare ourselves for possible failure, loss, or sadness. By recognizing the fears, we take away some of their power over us. We can then believe we will be all right.

What do I fear and why do I fear it? I know I am okay because I have identified my fear.

**************************************************

~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Taking the Fourth Step

It is very easy, when talking in general terms, to sweep away our past and say we want forgiveness and understanding of our wrongs. But this should not be confused with doing a Fourth Step. There, we don’t generalize or simplify the nature of our wrongs; we talk about their exact nature. If we put this on a personal level, we begin to see how difficult the inventory Steps are.

Often we must pray for the willingness to go on. Becoming willing to be specific may be the hardest thing we’ve ever had to do. But seeing the living miracles around us testifies to the fact that the rewards are great. If we are willing, God provides the opportunities for working the Steps.

Have I stopped generalizing about my defects?

Higher Power, help me be specific about the exact nature of my wrongs.

Today I will be specific about my defects, including

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

**************************************************

~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

Every road is rough to one that has no friend to cheer it.

~ ELIZABETH SHANE ~

Newcomer

Good things are happening in my life now. But I still find myself uncomfortable a lot of the time and wishing I could run. I imagine leaving everyone and everything I’m connected to behind me.

Sponsor

Our disease wants us alone. When we’re isolated from other recovering people, our own demons have their way with us. Even when we’ve experienced a success, we may be afraid that it can’t happen again or that we may have to pay a penalty for so much good. Our minds start working overtime. We’re haunted by our thoughts. Escape seems appealing. Our “fight-or-flight” mechanism, originally intended to help us survive, turns against us.

The antidote for craving escape is, surprisingly, bringing ourselves into contact with people. We can go to a meeting and, if possible, share what’s going on with us. As addicts, we have a history of medicating our feelings—one way of running from them. If we allow ourselves to experience our feelings, accept them, and share them with others, they’ll pass through us. Surrender is required.

Today, I surrender to happiness.

**************************************************

~ THE EYE OPENER ~

Alcoholics are by nature the great “I AM.” We work ourselves into a lather in doing AA work and sometimes we are rewarded with a degree of success and we begin to puff up like a pouter pigeon, forgetting we are of ourselves able to do nothing. We are still but a drink away from a stumble-bum.

We are what we are by the Grace of God only. We accomplish what little we do by a Power greater than ourselves. How can you help anybody? You were never even able to help yourself.

**************************************************

~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

MICHAL’S PRAYER

Lord, take me where You want me to go,
Let me meet who You want me to meet;
Tell me what You want me to say,
And
Keep me out of Your way.

(Father Mychal Judge, NYC Fire Department Chaplain, killed September 11, 2001.)

*************************************************

~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

ONLY YOUR OWN THOUGHTS

No matter what problem you may have to face today, there is a solution, because you have nothing to deal with but your own thoughts. As you know, you have the power to select and control your thoughts, difficult though it may be at times to do so. As long as you think that your destiny is in the hands of other people, the situation is hopeless.

Remind yourself constantly that you have nothing to deal with but your own thoughts. Write it down where you will see it often. Have it on your desk. Hang it in your bedroom. Write it in your pocketbook. Write it on your soul. It will transform your life. It will lead you out of the land of Egypt and out of the House of Bondage. It will bring you to God.

I thought on my ways, and turned my feet unto thy testimonies (Psalm 119:59).

**************************************************

~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Where Is the Jungle?

Calm soul of all things! Make it mine to feel amid the city’s jar
That there abides a peace of things man did not make, and cannot mar.

~ Matthew Arnold ~

My parrot was swept on a gust of wind and deposited in a jungle valley across a gulch from his aviary. Yogi landed in a tree near the hut of a hermit, a bearded mountain man named Tom who had holed up in seclusion for many years. As I approached Tom's make-shift dwelling, I saw he was living on a wooden palette under a thin plastic tarpaulin. A few meager possessions were scattered around the pallet, but what caught my eye was his television. Tom was engrossed in watching the news on an old TV hooked up to a car battery.

“Armageddon is on its way!" he announced. "It's all over the news; just watch what's going on—the Bible tells us these are the end times!" Well, I thought, anytime you watch the news it looks like the end times. It turns out that Tom spends most of his time in the jungle watching disaster news on television. While it might appear that he has renounced the world, he has actually taken it with him.

In an old Honeymooners episode, Ed Norton longed to return to work after he was fired from his job in the sewer department. Ed's classic comment to Ralph Kramden was, "You can take the man out of the sewer, but you can't take the sewer out of the man!"

By contrast, my teacher Hilda lived in one of the toughest sections of New York City, and she carried heaven with her wherever she went. She regularly encountered drug addicts, thieves, prostitutes, and murder victims, but the light within her was so strong she transformed everyone she met. You can take the person out of heaven, but you can't take heaven out of the person.

We may live in a jungle, but whether it is heaven or hell depends on the thoughts we carry with us.

I pray to carry the light with me wherever I go.

I live in the world I choose with my thoughts.

June 6

Step by Step

"Rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path. Those who do not recover are people who cannot or will not completely give themselves to this simple program, usually men and women who are constitutionally incapable of being honest with themselves. ...They are not at fault; they seem to have been born that way. They are naturally incapable of grasping and developing a manner of living which demands rigorous honesty. Their chances are less than average." - Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, Ch 5, p 58.

Today, examination not only my own honesty but the foundation on which it is built. Before I can start to develop the honesty required for an effective program, I first have to ask why I want recovery. Starting at the very beginning of the program - Step One - I have to distinguish that over which I am powerless: is it alcohol or the potential consequences of my misconduct while drunk? If I cannot admit that it is alcohol over which I am powerless, then I am lying to myself if I seek recovery to avoid or lessen the consequences drinking. Today, I have to be honest that I am powerless over alcohol and that my addiction is the basis to start getting honest. To stop drinking for anyone or anything else is the foundation of a lie, one that is built on sand. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M.

**************************************************

~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

THE FIRST HOUR.

Every recovery front addiction begins with one clean and sober hour.

~ Anonymous ~

It is amazing to watch a television program and see how the most complicated life situations are resolved in less than thirty minutes. Those of us who have made a heavy diet of television probably wonder deep down why our problems are not solved quickly in recovery. When we were drinking and drugging, thirty minutes was plenty of time to dissolve a problem into oblivion.

Recovery isn't like TV. We can't change the channel if we don't like the Program.

There are two facts we can't escape in our Program and recovery: the treatment begins with one clean and sober hour and the cure will take a lifetime.

The good news is that the focus of recovery is on the treatment, not the cure. And
while there might not always be something good on TV, there's always something good on the Program.

I will remember that recovery is a process, not an event.

**************************************************

~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

Defeat may serve as well as victory to shake the soul and let the glory out.

~ Edwin Markham ~

No one goes in search of a defeat so that he can have a stirring spiritual experience. The real defeats are the ones that we would never choose. They break our treasures and shake our foundations. In the breaking, a defeat gives us a changed life to deal with. It forces us to see things from an angle we never saw before. We start from the empty feeling and the question: now what?

Defeat is inevitable in life. We aren’t really adults until we have confronted situations that we desperately wanted to conquer but could not. It is in learning to accept the reality of powerlessness that we have the first opportunity to become full adults. When a man stops at defeat and feels only defeated, without finding the wisdom to grow beyond it, he stays stuck in that spot. In recovery and healing, we are learning that the renewed life that comes after we accept our powerlessness is full of possibilities—and a serenity we didn’t know before.

Today I am fateful for the adult perspective I gained from acknowledging a reality that I could not control

**************************************************

~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

I will not take myself so seriously. I will let laughter heal.

~ Jan Pishok ~

Being hard on ourselves is second nature to us. For some of us, it comes from growing up in a rigid, punishing environment. But the need to be perfect can be a self-inflicted wound too. We have suffered long enough. It’s time to change. It’s time to lighten up.

How do we break old, powerful patterns? Only with effort applied daily. Fortunately, there are exercises we can do that will help. For instance, we can make a habit of seeing comedies on TV, on the stage, or at the movies. We can choose to socialize with women and men who appreciate the lighter side of life. We can ask our trusted friends to help us see the funny side of our personal foibles. And we can ask our Higher Power to nudge us toward a humorous outlook. Perhaps the most powerful exercise is simply to make the decision to laugh more, and then do it!

Laughter promotes personal growth and health. I will practice this prescription today.

**************************************************

~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

It's OK to talk about my problems

I used to talk about my problems all the time. I was anxious and depressed and scared. I didn’t know what to do to help myself. Eventually, I got on people's nerves (and they told me so). Sometimes I felt rejected and shut out from sources of help.

But slowly I've learned four pertinent truths for my dual recovery: (a) When I talk about my spiritual, physical, or mental pain, I tend to accept it more, and then I can usually do something about it. (b) I need to pick the right person and the right time to talk. (c) Sometimes I complain too much, when what I really need to do is take more responsibility for myself. (d) A sense of humor is a gift.

Today I will pray for willingness and perspective.

*************************************************

~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

The foolish man seeks happiness in the distance; the wise man grows it under his feet.

~ James Oppenheim ~

We have so many memories, and it’s sadly true that often the unhappy ones are easiest to recall. Sometimes these memories dog us through a day, and the past tinges our present with sadness. This keeps us from being at our best, but it doesn’t have to happen.

In our recovery, we are learning to live each day, and to relish the present moment. This means not letting old hurts, guilt, and shame from the past invade our lives today. What has happened is done. What is to happen will take place in its own time, at its own pace. In this day, at this moment, we are alive, and we are free to choose how to feel and what to do right now. We are free to feel grateful for the chance to live again. We are free to take advantage of this chance to do our best. If we need help, we are free to ask for that as well.

By living the present the best way we can, we are also ensuring that good memories will be our gift to our future. Each day we live as well as we can makes our lives more worthwhile, more content, more our own.

Today let me enjoy the moments I am in, for they are all I have.

**************************************************

~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

It’s an indulgence to sit in a room and discuss your beliefs as if they were a juicy piece of gossip.

~ Lillian Heilman ~

As someone who regularly attends a particular meeting, you may think you know how others at the meeting view that fellowship. Because you have gone to the meeting for so long and know most, if not all, of the people, you may not realize how hard it might be for a newcomer to feel welcomed. You may also not be aware of how often group discussion strays from the topic of recovery and into areas of gossip, judgment, and criticism.

You may not consider that because the meeting has had the same attendees for a long time, you or others in the group may have discouraged those who dropped in, did not like what they saw or heard, and left.

Just as each individual needs to undertake a searching inventory, so too is there a value in the members of a particular fellowship conducting an analysis of how the group presents itself to others. Is each member on the lookout for newcomers and available to make them feel welcome?

Today I will look at one of my meetings from an outsider’s point of view. I will work harder to make newcomers feel welcome and to redirect topics of discussion when they go astray.

**************************************************

~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

Mankind has advanced in the footsteps of men and women of unshakable faith. Many of these great ones . . . have set stars in the heavens to light others through the night.

~ Olga Rosmanith ~

All around us there are wonderful role models. Their faith, hope, strength, courage, and fearlessness can give us guidance during any time of need. But in order to look to those people for inspiration, we first need to be ready to look beyond ourselves.

In our times of need, it's easy to focus solely on ourselves. ICs almost as if we climb into our own womb, conscious only of our feelings, thoughts, pains, and needs.

Yet there are those among us who have lived through times just as trying as the ones we're in. However, instead of looking inward, these people looked outward to the solutions and applied them. By using the same solutions, we can bring some light into our darkness.

Where can I find my powers of example?

**************************************************

~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Avoiding self-pity

Our troubled lives and mixed-up emotions can easily draw pity from those who would help us. Sometimes we even exaggerate our history or current situation to get more pity. In the program we share our feelings to avoid self-pity because we know how destructive it can be.

When we say, “This too shall pass,” for example, we are not giving our fellows the brush-off. Rather we are saying, “Don’t wallow in self-pity; it’s a killer. We’ve all experienced similar situations. God loves you and it will pass!”

Have I stopped pitying myself?

Higher Power, help me to remember that pity leads only to self-pity and that I want to change that pattern.

Today I will work on avoiding self-pity by

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

**************************************************

~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

Nobody can be exactly like me. Sometimes even I have trouble doing it.

~ TALLULAH BANKHEAD ~

Newcomer

I’m not so sure about this idea in Step Six of giving up all my so-called character defects. There are things about me that some people might not approve of but that don’t really hurt anyone. They’re what makes me unique and interesting. I wouldn’t want to live in a totally bland world.

Sponsor

I identify with your fear, but I promise that Step Six is not intended to erase us. It’s human nature to cling to the attitudes and behaviors we already know, even when they’ve brought us discomfort or isolated us from others.

There’s something of the “dry drunk” in our desire to continue to act exactly as we did when we were active in our addictions. It’s as if an alcoholic who admitted his or her powerlessness over alcohol agreed to stop drinking, but continued to spend all of his or her time in bars, insisting that nothing interesting could be happening anywhere else. What would happen if we let go? Who would we become? Perhaps we resist surrendering our old habits out of fear that underneath the armor of our character defects there isn’t much to be proud of.

Each of us is created with a unique combination of qualities and talents. It’s not our defects that make us special and fulfill our natures; they only stand in the way.

Today, I move forward to greet the self I don’t know yet.

**************************************************

~ THE EYE OPENER ~

Before the philosophy or theory of AA was ever committed to writing the “Big Book”, it was devised by the Founders after many trials and errors, after many disheartening failures and setbacks.

Because of our phenomenal growth we are prone to think our birth was painless.

AA was not invented; it was born in the labors of suffering men and women, who, by pooling their common experiences, arrived at an answer to the alcoholic problem−one that would work.

**************************************************

~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

FREE OF RESENTMENT PRAYER

God, free me from my resentment
Toward _____.
Please bless _____ in whatever it is that You know
They may be needing this day.
Please give _____ everything I want for myself.
And may _____ 's life be full of health, peace,
Prosperity, and happiness as they seek to have
A closer relationship with You.

*************************************************

~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

Read Acts 19:1−41.

This is an extremely colorful and dramatic chapter even for the Bible, which is so full of color and drama. Every problem has a solution, Some problems last a long time, some a short time, but always there is a solution, and always the solution is to tum from the outer to the inner. When you admire some outer, passing thing too much, and thus give power to the manifestation, you are saying, "Great is Diana'" When you fear some outer thing or condition or person, then you are also saying, "Great is Diana." And when you say, "Great is Diana," then your troubles really begin.

The First Commandment is, "l am the Lord thy God"−God, spirit, nothing outside. There is not a single mistake that you or I have ever made, there is not a single trouble or heartache that has ever come to us, that has not come directly through saying, "Great is Diana," and forgetting God.

Great is our Lord, and of great power: his understanding is infinite (Psalm 147:5).

**************************************************

~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

A Silver Platter

At every moment the universe is making you an irresistible offer.

~ Anonymous ~

The movie Dumb and Dumber depicts the trials of a pair of goofy guys traveling cross-country in search of the girls of their dreams. After many disappointments, the duo is stranded on a desert road when a busload of gorgeous bikini-clad babes pulls up. Three mega-attractive women step off the bus, and one greets them, "Hi! We're on the Hawaiian Tropic Tanning Oil tour, and we're looking for a couple of guys to travel with us and rub suntan oil on us before our demonstrations." Then she coyly asks, "Do you know where we could find these guys?"

One fellow smiles and answers, "Sure! There's a town about three miles down the road!"

Disappointed, the girls climb on the bus and leave the two in the dust. "Look at that, Harry," one of the pair complains. "Some guys have all the luck."

While it may seem that life is passing us by, quite often it is laying golden opportunities at our doorstep. Before doubting or missing an invitation, consider if there might be a divine gift in this meeting. Imagine that everyone you meet is sent to you by God for a reason. Although you are not required to accept every invitation, there is a gift in every encounter.

Today I will regard everyone I meet as Your messenger, come to teach, heal, or bless me in some way.

My good is seeking me. I accept it now.

June 7

Step by Step

"Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him." - Step Three

"Our description of the alcoholic ...make clear three pertinent ideas:
(a) That we were alcoholic and could not manage our own lives.
(b) That probably no human power could have relieved our alcoholism.
(c) That God could and would if He were sought." - Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, Ch 5, p 60.

Today, revisiting Step Three, I ask if I have enough humility to turn my will and life over to the higher power of my understanding. The starting point is the admission that my life, "run on self-will," has never worked. If I can agree, I must give up running the show - my life - the way I want because to continue to do so is another guaranteed failure. So, I look outside and, if I can say even half-heartedly that I am still alive only "by the grace of God," I have found my higher power. And because His grace is why I am alive, I can also say that I can trust Him more than myself to show me how to live as a sober alcoholic. Today, I reaffirm my decision to surrender my will to my higher power because I've not done such a great job of doing it on my own. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M.

**************************************************

~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

CAME TO BELIEVE

Find something higher than yourself in which to believe. Believe in God or Be God!

~ Anonymous ~

Self-centered, egotistic, materialistic people score lowest of all in measuring happiness. We all think it is easy to see that money doesn't buy happiness. Yet everyone seems to give their all to obtaining money. We all know that we will never find the meaning of our lives in another person. Yet haw much time have we spent looking for such a person?

All our striving for things of this world has given us little or no happiness. We always end up with either nothing to believe in, or believing in the wrong things.

Whenever we make a god out of ourselves, someone else, or our material possessions, we bring misery down around us.

There is something bigger than myself that I must believe in and trust completely for my peace and happiness. That is my Higher Power.

**************************************************

~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

Not all who wander are lost.

~ J. R. R. Tolkien ~

We are wandering on a path. We are able to look back and see how far we have come, and perhaps we can see some distance ahead. But we are exploring what a recovered life means. We cannot predict what will happen in the future, and we cannot see what is around the next bend. Some people respond to the unknown with fear. On the spiritual path we are following, we put fear in our back pocket. We continue to wander while practicing the principle of turning our lives and our will over to the care of God. There is no need to fear. We know that we will face challenges and we will not be alone.

Since we cannot foresee what will happen in the future, we can only know that we will meet whatever happens with our best self. Life is an adventure. The difference between fear and excitement is the knowledge that our Higher Power will be with us. We have our friends; we have our honesty and our self-respect. Even though we don’t know what is around the next turn, we are not lost.

Today I am grateful to be in the care of my Higher Power.

**************************************************

~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

If I am a victim to everything in life, that is my choice.

~ Peggy Bassett ~

Some days we choose the role of victim. We can’t rationally explain it, but nonetheless it suits us on occasion. Perhaps we’re too tired to take responsibility for ourselves every day. Or maybe we have forgotten that we have a Higher Power to help us. Luckily, since finding this program, we settle for the victim role far less often. It’s not hard to call on our ever-present guardian angel for strength.

Actively making choices that safeguard us, that comfort our healing hearts, becomes easier with practice. Being surrounded by women who are doing likewise influences and strengthens our resolve. Who would have thought we’d come so far, so quickly?

Looking back on the past fortifies our hope and faith that we will not return to that victim role so quickly.

Being a victim fit me when I wasn’t mature enough to be responsible for myself. I no longer have that excuse. The Twelve Steps will help me clarify what I need to do to take care of myself today.

**************************************************

~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

It's OK to talk about my problems

I am not alone anymore

It's hard for me to be alone. I can feel paralyzed if I even think about it too long, especially when I recall some of my darkest days. Being isolated is part of what got me into treatment in the first place‒that and staying drunk all the time.

Being in a day treatment program helped me feel better. It was good to be with other recovering people much of the day, people who generally understood me, who accepted me and supported me. I feel stronger, more independent, and grateful for this help.

Tonight I will call and chat with a friend from my treatment program.

*************************************************

~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

I love being able to say, “I was wrong,” or "I made a mistake,” and not feel like it’s the end of the world.

~ Carol C. ~

Before recovery, we felt so guilt-ridden we couldn’t bear to admit we were less than perfect. Since our insides seemed so awful, we clung to an outside appearance of perfection. That way, we hoped people wouldn’t find out what we were really like. But we fooled no one, not even ourselves, for very long.

In recovery, we have a chance to change that pattern. Now, we can learn to admit our limitations, our mistakes, and our imperfections. What a wonderful relief, not to have to be perfect. We can be just who we are — very human beings who are groping toward the light. Sometimes we find it, sometimes we lose our way, but still we strive onward. And, in the process, we find ourselves, and serenity.

Today help me keep working toward perfection, but forgive my mistakes along the way.

**************************************************

~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

The monsters of our childhood do not Jade away, neither are they wholly ever monstrous.

~ John le Carre ~

When you were young, you may have insisted upon sleeping with your bedroom light on. You were frightened of the monsters you imagined were hiding underneath your bed or who would enter your bedroom the moment the lights went out. Over time, you outgrew your need to sleep with a light on and came to understand that stories of monstrous beings were just that—stories. But then addiction entered your life, becoming the monster you had once feared, taking over your life. Try as you might to get out of its grasp, it would not let you go.

Freedom from your addiction released you from the monster’s grip. While your life today may be a far cry from a happily-ever-after fairy tale ending, you have re-gained the joy, serenity, and rational thinking that your monster once took from you.

Although your monster may still come back to haunt you, you understand how it operates. Rather than be controlled by stinking thinking, doubt, insecurity, and fear, you comprehend the power of the Serenity Prayer. This prayer offers you protection and enables you to develop the courage you need to face those things you can change.

Today I will use the Serenity Prayer for the courage and wisdom I need so I can face my monsters and overcome them.

**************************************************

~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

The mind is its own place, and in itself−Can make a heaven of hell, a hell of heaven.

~ John Milton ~

If we listen to the news, we can hear stories of natural disasters, starvation and deprivation, torture and bloodshed. Yet we may sit in our homes and look at our lives and moan, "Life isn't fair to me. Nothing ever works out the way I want it to."

lf we could lose our self-centeredness and look at the powerlessness issues that go on outside of our little world, we would realize our hell is of its own creation. When we see what we don't have and what we can't change, we are building the foundations of a hell memorial. We are striving to preserve the have-nots and are-nots as a fitting tribute to all we cannot be.

We can stop eulogizing such negativity. Sure, there are many bad things in this world and a lot of bad people. Sure, there are many things we cannot do and possibly never will be able to do. But we can tear down the tribute to hell and erect instead a tribute to heaven−to all the things we can have and can do, to all the things we can change.

I can build tributes to my not memorials. The Serenity Prayer can help me see blessings, not bitterness tonight.

**************************************************

~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Awaken spiritually

Many of us have had spiritual experiences and spiritual awakenings as a result of this program. Some people had them before they arrived, some when they first arrived, some years after. But before we come to realize a power greater than ourselves or our addiction, we don’t need to hear voices or see visions.

The spiritual experience most of us have is a quiet realization that God has given us our lives. What greater experience can we ask for? Have I had a spiritual awakening?

Higher Power, help me remain grateful for the gift of my life.

I will practice my spiritual aliveness today by

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

**************************************************

~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

True emancipation lies in the acceptance of the whole past, in deriving strength from all my roots.

~ PAULI MURRAY ~

Newcomer

Step Six asks us to be “entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.” I don’t understand what action is involved, why it’s a whole separate Step.

Sponsor

Once again, the Steps remind us that there are processes in our experience of living, that one experience follows another. The piano soloist doesn’t arrive at the concert hall planning to “wing it” in the most difficult passages of the concerto. The ease of playing comes not merely from talent, but from preparation.

Step Five was our preparation for Step Six. Sharing our inventory with a trusted person, we saw clearly that much of our previous lives had been shaped by our insatiable craving for a drug. No longer sitting alone with our guilt and shame, no longer fleeing into addictive behavior, we aired what we thought were our worst secrets. We felt the relief that comes from knowing we’re connected with other human beings. Change seemed like the only possible direction; we didn’t want to repeat our past.

Step Six asks us to be certain that we’re prepared for fundamental change. If we pass over this Step in a perfunctory way, we won’t have the inner certainty that subsequent Steps will require of us.

Today, I see the freedom that results from willingness to surrender my defects.

**************************************************

~ THE EYE OPENER ~

In our drinking days most of us entertained frequent ideas about suicide, but we did nothing about it because we either lacked the nerve, lost our ability to make and carry through any decision, or we still had some hope that sometime, somehow, something could be done. We were still in love with life, rotten as our living was.

The real joy of living came only when our living had some purpose and it will stay sweet as long as we actively engage in constructive, purposeful living.

**************************************************

~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

THE FEAR PRAYER

God, thank You for helping me to be honest
Enough to see the truth about myself.
Thank You for showing me my fears,
Please help me remove them.
Help me outgrow my fears;
The fears that have haunted me
And blocked me from doing Your will.
Direct my attention to what You
Would have me be.
Demonstrate through me and
Help me do Your will always.

*************************************************

~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

YOU CAN'T, BUT GOD CAN

The spiritual forces that created and sustain the whole universe are available to help you at any time-provided you call upon them intelligently. The way to call upon this Power is to become quiet both mentally and physically, and then to call upon it quietly to do what it knows to be necessary. Do not dictate ways and means.

Have you ever seen a huge hoist in action at the docks? You know what happens. The operator would not dream of trying to pull up that load with his muscles. He would damage himself seriously and make no impression on the task in hand. That he does is to gently throw a small switch−and leave it in. Then the electric power raises the load to any height required.

When you work spiritually you are applying Infinite Power to your problem, and there can be but one outcome−victory.

Great in counsel and mighty in work: for thine eyes are open upon all the ways of the sons of men (Jeremiah 32:19).

**************************************************

~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

The Key

Boldness has genius, power, magic in it.

~ Goethe ~

"I am at a crossroads in my life," John confessed. "Last year I quit a successful job in the oil industry so I could explore my spiritual path. Recently I received a lucrative offer to work for another company, and I'm tempted. If I take it, my soul will shrivel, for I would be going backward, not forward."

"Would you be willing to trust the universe to support you to live your dream, even if you cannot see how that would happen?" I asked.

John thought for a while and smiled. "Yes, I am willing for that to happen."

A few weeks later, I received a letter from John, who reported, "The most amazing thing happened. I went to visit my father, who has never really understood or been very supportive of my spiritual path. He took me into his study and told me, 'Son, I am proud of you for what you're doing with your life.' He took out his checkbook and wrote me a large check that will keep me going for at least a year." Within four months, John had gotten his massage teacher's license at Esalen, a yoga teacher's certification from Kripalu Institute, and attended a Mastery Training in Hawaii. The last I heard of him, he was trekking in Nepal.

The key to John's transformation and his unexpected gift was his willingness to allow the universe to support him. It was an internal shift from, "l don't see how this could happen" to "I am willing to have this happen somehow." When you start an automobile, the key is just a tiny piece of metal, minuscule in comparison to the might of the engine that will drive the vehicle. Yet, all of 3OO horsepower depends on the flick of a small key.

You don't need to know the how of it; just know the what, and be willing for an unfathomable force to work wonders on your behalf.

I surrender to Your wisdom and strength. Do for me what I cannot do for myself.

I am willing to have the universe support me to live my dream.

June 8

Step by Step

Today, humility to extend compassion, understanding and empathy to the alcoholic whose current circumstances might once have been mine. If someone confides that he is faced with something that has him in a place of uncertainty, fear, helplessness, hopelessness and desperation, I will remember that I, too, was once in the same dark place and needed more than well-intended but superficial assurances. Instead, I will remember that I entrusted all with unconditional faith to my higher power and, while clinging onto sobriety even an hour at a time, He saw me through. Today, I will not minimize the fears and uncertainties of another person who might be venturing into unknown waters and, instead, will respect them with unconditional love and support. He may be my most important 12th Step. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

H.O.W.

H.O.W = Honesty, Open mindedness, Willingness.

~ Anonymous ~

H.O.W. is a pattern for character and spiritual growth. We must approach all challenges with Honest intentions and Openminded tolerance. But only Willingness will start us toward goals. When the willingness is great, the difficulties cannot be great. If we are willing to accept and to act with dedication, nothing can stop us as long as our goals are for spiritual rewards.

Willingness can simply mean that we are ready and well prepared to face challenges. But we must be cautious not to mistake wilful for willing. The first insists that things happen our way and on our terms. But Willingness rids us of fears and prepares us to choose wisely.

The Program tells me that "willingness is the key," and “willingness without action is fantasy." These are essentials of recovery.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

We do not err because truth is difficult to see. It is visible at a glance. We err because this is more comfortable.

~ Alexander Solzhenitsyn ~

When we are directed to make a “searching and fearless” moral inventory of ourselves, it is because in our old ways we looked for the more comfortable answers. Honesty with ourselves can be uncomfortable when we first let ourselves in on the secrets we kept away from our consciousness. We see things we do not want to look at. We may have long-held patterns of shaping and softening the facts so we could continue our harmful and self-abusive ways. And as we lied to and betrayed ourselves, we made ourselves weaker and less able to deal with our situation.

Now we value honesty with ourselves. Honesty may be uncomfortable, but it will not hurt us. Once we have the courage to be honest with ourselves, we don’t have to decide immediately what we will do with what we see. We can take it in steps. First we admit what we know to be true—and then we can live with what we know for a while. Slowly wisdom will grow within us and we will more clearly see a path for how to proceed

Today I will not shy away from honesty with myself.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

In order to learn, risks must be taken.

~ Ann D. Clark ~

We commonly took risks in the days before our abstinence. In fact, every day that we used mood- altering chemicals, we risked our very lives, perhaps the lives of others too. Why, then, are we so tentative about taking risks now? Maybe we miss the false courage that alcohol and other drugs offered us.

AA and other Twelve Step programs can cultivate real courage in us, if we want it. Remembering to rely on our Higher Power and our sponsors for support and guidance will help us take the risks that offer us growth.

Conscious risk-taking can be very empowering. We all deserve the self-esteem that comes with empowerment. Our lack of it made the chemicals we tried far too appealing. We need never go back there again.

Trying something new isn’t always easy, but it is an opportunity to let my Higher Power give me courage. I will risk it today.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I am doing the best I can

I want to get well. I want to recover, but I keep sliding back into my old pattern. I start feeling overwhelmed by my problems, get depressed, and then have a slip. I feel bad that I can't get a handle on this. I thought I knew what to do, but what I'm doing is not working.

When i told my support group about this they reminded me of two things: (a) Slips don't have to be such a bad thing. A slip says that I need to make some changes in my relapse prevention program. (b) Recovery is a process that takes time and forgiveness. When I can think about it that way, I'm not so hard on myself and I can do what I need to do.

I will ash my group and counselor to help me identify my warning signs that precede a slip.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

Sometimes we look for signs of God’s presence in our lives but miss them because they’re not what we thought they’d be.

~ Cathy Bohman ~

The young man was heartbroken. His fiancee had called off the wedding and left him for another man. "How could God let this happen?” he asked. The young man was convinced God did not care about him. Years later, as he celebrated his tenth wedding anniversary, he told his wife he was grateful to God for their marriage. Now he knew that when his first fiancee left him, it was for the good. At the time, he just could not see it.

We all have moments in life when we lose something — a boyfriend or girlfriend, a job or a chance for a job, or something else that seems very important at the time — and feel God has deserted us. Sometimes we may feel that being an alcoholic or addict is a sign God has deserted us. Only after being in a Twelve Step program for a number of years, do we realize that life now is better than it was before the illness of addiction set in. We appreciate our loved ones and ourselves more than ever, our priorities have changed, and we have a relationship with a Higher Power that didn’t exist before. And every new day, we gain a new perspective and insight into how God is working to enrich our lives.

Today help me to remember that You are always with me.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

If I can’t be beautiful, I want to be invisible.

~ Chuck Palahniuk ~

Very few people choose to go to their first meeting. Some were given the directive to attend. Others became so sick and tired of feeling sick and tired that they figured meetings could not make matters any worse. Maybe you came into the program because you made a promise to someone that you would attend meetings, or maybe a friend invited you.

No matter how you came to your first meeting, you can expect to feel a wide range of emotions just by walking through the door. You may feel angry at the mess in your life, or ashamed of the label “alcoholic” or “addict.” You may feel frightened and alone, or an overpowering sense of hopelessness.

Until you become more comfortable, you may not want to say anything or have anyone acknowledge your presence. But retreating into a shell or imagining that you are wearing a cloak of invisibility will not make your discomfort go away. What is more helpful is to be open to the welcomes of others, to introduce yourself, and to let the words you hear sink in. Over time, meetings will become the best part of your day.

Even when I do not feel like going to a meeting, I will. There is value to each meeting I attend.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

We ought to hear at least one little song every day, read a good poem, see a first-rate painting and if possible speak a few sensible words.

~ Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe ~

Schedules! At the end of a day, have we ever felt we've accomplished anything? Maybe we did everything according to our schedules, but were we able to take time to do the things we wanted?

Dinner doesn't have to be eaten at a fixed hour. Work doesn't have to be brought home every night. Chores don't have to be done on the same night every week. A little variation in our evening schedules is healthy, especially if we need a change of pace. It will also help us unwind, center ourselves, be more alert and in touch with life rather than frantically trying to keep pace.

Read a book. Play a record that's been collecting dust. Call a friend. Write a letter. Go for a walk. Prepare a special dessert. Take a hot, luxurious bath. We can break the weekly routine and add a new one- pampering ourselves.

What can I do special for me? I can decide tonight what I’d really like to do−and then tomorrow, I'll do it!

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Helping slippers

Why do they have to suffer? Why is it that we have found and accepted this fellowship while some people seem unable to or else must experience untold hardships before they can accept it? Many times our hearts have ached at the seeming failure of Twelfth Step work.

We watch others suffer needlessly and sometimes die. We watch others repeatedly slip and our hearts cry out to them. Those of us who make it must never give up on the ones who don’t. They need us desperately and we need them. Even if they truly can’t make it, God still loves them all.

Do I leave the results of my Twelfth Step work with my Higher Power?

All God’s children are in God’s hands. Thank you for the way you are holding me!

Today I will try to help a person who has slipped by

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

Such as I am, I am a precious gift.

~ ZORAH NEALE HURSTON ~

Newcomer

Sometimes I think I’m basically dishonest. I’ve fooled you and other people into thinking I’m capable of real change.

Sponsor

Sounds like you’re having one of those moments of intense self-doubt we all go through in recovery. At times like this, we have no compassion for ourselves. Our regrets about the past and our fears about the future are all we can see right now. If other people show compassion for us, we think that we’ve put something over on them—or worse, that they, too, are the frauds we’ve judged ourselves to be.

After we’ve chosen recovery and experienced the hope it offers, the darkness we’ve carried inside seems to rise up and almost overwhelm us. With help, we can recognize it for what it is and step back from it. This isn’t the moment to draw conclusions about our capacity for recovery. What we’re experiencing today is part of a process that brings self-esteem and freedom.

I’m willing to trust those who refuse to endorse my harsh judgment of myself. Recovery holds more of the truth than I can see today.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

Opportunity is found within ourselves and nowhere else; the place that provides the greatest opportunity for our mental, moral and physical welfare. Only when we are mentally and physically fit are we able to recognize and grasp material opportunities when they present themselves. Billion dollar deals have been cooked up in practically every bar in the country but they have all vanished into thin air during the following morning hang-over.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

CLEVELAND AA PRAYER, 1941

God, You have been our dwelling place in all generations.
Before the mountains were brought forth, or even the earth and the world were made.
We thank You for having brought us safely to this day of our lives and
Having taught us to live one day at a time in Your work.
We pray that You will guide our footsteps tomorrow, and help us as we help ourselves, help us as we help others to do Your will.
And we pray that You will extend your special mercy to those afflicted, as we have been, but who have not yet been brought from darkness to light.

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

TIDAL WATER HEALS

If you have explored some of the back waters within a few miles of the ocean you will know how much difference tidal water makes. Here you come upon a stagnant pool, partly covered with weeds and slime, an unpleasant place to be near. Not far away is another pool but this is filled with clean, salt-smelling sea water, and the growing things around it are pleasant and wholesome. The difference is that in one case the living ocean water pours in twice a day charged with vitality, and then flows out again carrying away anything stale or lifeless. It is this circulation of life that makes the difference between the two pools.

When the tide is out, we sometimes see a boat stranded, unable to move, but we know that this condition is only temporary because the tide always comes back and refloats the boat. As long as you keep up your daily visit with God, your soul is open to tidal water, and even if you should seemingly be left high and dry for a period, it is only a question of time before the living ocean will float you off once more.
Keep your soul flooded with the tidal water of eternal life and

. . . nothing shall by any means hurt you (Luke 10:19).

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Just Testing

All things are lessons God would have me learn.

~ A Course in Miracles ~

“My engagement is off, and I’m really bummed,” Wendy told me. “He turned out to be a real turkey. When we first got together, he promised me everything. Then I found out that he was carrying a lot of baggage from his past; his ex-wife is a cocaine addict who owes a hundred thousand dollars on her credit cards. I can't believe wasted six months with that jerk!"

While I understood Wendy's disappointment, I saw that she was hurting herself by assuming a victim position. A little while later, I asked her, "What kind of work do you do?”

"I work for the army, training soldiers to protect themselves against bio-chemical warfare. I take them into a room where noxious chemicals have been released, and I take away their gas masks. My job is to see how they react under pressure. Some of them follow the emergency procedures they have been taught, and others freak out. Some become angry at me, call me horrible names, and try to grab their mask back. They don't realize I'm trying to help them by training them.”

Then a thought occurred to me: ”What if your fiancé has offered you the same service you provide your soldiers?” I asked Wendy.

"What do you mean?"

"Your fiancé showed you where you feel small and unprotected. When you got angry and blasted him for your discomfort, you are like the soldiers blaming you. You might consider this experience a training for you to find strength and wholeness within you, in the presence of a noxious environment."

Everyone we meet serves us. Some help us by bringing us peace and joy; others help us by challenging us to find clarity within ourselves. Let us honor both our friends and foes as teachers who lead us to greater power and truth.

Help me to appreciate all my relationships, and find the gift in every encounter.

Everyone is my teacher of peace. I learn and grow from all my relations.

June 9

Step by Step

"We admitted we were powerless over alcohol - that our lives had become unmanageable." - Step One

Today, Steps 2 through 12 become mountains if the one step that requires absolute and unconditional surrender and humility - Step One - isn't taken so thoroughly that it becomes so indelible in subconscious awareness. We don't have any prayer for a quality recovery if we do not or will not accept the simple fact that our use of alcohol makes everything in our lives unmanageable. And if my ego is such that I will not admit I have no control over alcohol, maybe I can adopt a different perspective until I can check my ego in subsequent steps. Instead of thinking that alcohol controls me, I will control alcohol by not allowing it to control me. And the strongest weapon is abstinence. Today, if I find myself struggling with any of the steps, maybe I need ask if I've even left the starting block - Step One. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

We are only as sick as our secrets.

~ Anonymous ~

The shadowy world of our addiction kept us always in search of new places to hide. Each time we told a lie, we had to develop an elaborate cover for the lie. Every time we broke a promise, cheated on our loved ones, stole from our job, we would make up new stories to cover our tracks. When we got caught in a lie, we would create even more complicated lies to cover up the truth. When anyone threatened our addiction we would go further underground to make sure its needs were met.
Our recovery has allowed us an opportunity to be shown the way out of the maze of lies and secrets. They cannot co-exist with an honest life. If we are to be entirely honest in all our affairs, the cat must come out of the bag. The truth will set us free.

I'm not going to be sick any more. There can be no lies or secrets in my life of recovery. I must always be ready to be entirely honest.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

The fastest way to freedom is to feel your feelings.

~ Gita Beilin ~

Many of us were taught in boyhood that feelings should be avoided. Some men think that any kind of vulnerability should be hidden, and most feelings can make us feel vulnerable. For some of us, the only acceptable feeling is the one that makes us feel stronger: anger. Many men don’t even know what their feelings are; many others recognize their feelings but have never learned how to express them to others. When we found our addictions and codependencies, they quickly became handy ways to hide from feelings. But that only served our false sense of masculinity.

As we seek a life free from compulsions and addictions, moving from the foolish ways to the wise ways of true manhood, we honestly admit our feelings. We are strong enough to stop hiding. We honestly feel our feelings because they allow us to live more fully.

Today I will be conscious of my feeling and give them a place in my life.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

When you least expect it is when you are over-whelmed with the generosity of others.

~ Iris Timberlake ~

Expectations can be both good and bad. At times positive expectations are appropriate and healthy. For instance, when we prepare for a job interview, it is far better to visualize in great detail a positive experience. This can lessen the anxiety we might feel in the actual interview.

In other situations, however, our expectations set us up for major disappointment. Maybe we hope a friend will acknowledge our birthday in a special way, but she forgets it entirely. In this case expectations have done us an unnecessary injury.

Sometimes having no expectations is best. Then whatever happens can gratify us. At those times we can simply thank our Higher Power for blessing us as the divine plan has called for. It’s these unexpected gifts that help us realize the power of God in our lives. We are being taken care of every moment, even when we are least aware of it.

I will be very conscious of my expectations today. I won’t set myself up for disappointment if I’m aware of my thoughts.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I am learning about making mistakes

I used to feel awful about myself when I made a mistake (and for some time afterward). For example, a mistake in recovery might be forgetting to go to a meeting or take my meds; it might be getting upset out of proportion to a problem. Simply having symptoms felt like a mistake to me. (At times, I felt that I was the mistake.) I felt less than other people for having a psychiatric illness.

Now I treat myself more gently. Dual recovery is teaching me to do that. I work on forgiving myself as soon as I can after making a mistake. I'm learning that everyone, even people I look up to, makes mistakes (including my therapist and sponsor). In fact, making a mistake may be the most common way to learn‒it tells me I need to do something different.

I will recall my last mistake and write down two lessons I can learn, or have learned, from it.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

A good listener is not only popular everywhere, but after a while he gets to know something.

~ Wilson Mizner ~

A good salesperson is usually a good listener. Being a good listener also helps in being a good parent or spouse, neighbor or friend. When we are truly able to hear what others are trying to say, we are better able to enter their world, and let them into ours.

Listening to the collective wisdom of others helps us gain understanding and perspective on the world around us. When it comes to recovery from a life-threatening illness like addiction, listening to others who are in recovery is like receiving a gift of ideas.

It is not always easy to listen, because it’s often our nature to want to be the center of attention. But listening is an art worth developing. It enriches our lives, improves our relationships, and helps us feel better about ourselves.

Today may I enrich my spiritual life by listening to others.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

We do not have to become heroes overnight. Just a step at a time, meeting each thing that comes up, seeing it as not as dreadful as it appeared, discovering we have the strength to stare it down.

~ Eleanor Roosevelt ~

How do you define courage? When you think of the word, your mind might conjure up images of soldiers in battle saving comrades, of doctors serving the needs of populations in third-world countries, or of someone who has lost the use of a leg learning how to walk again.

But perhaps courage is less about heroics and more about having the commitment to make things right. Making the decision to follow a path of recovery is courageous. As rock singer Bono once said, “My heroes are the ones who survived it wrong, who made mistakes, but recovered from them.” That is what you are doing today. Admitting you have a problem takes incredible courage. Making a commitment to be clean and sober reflects courage. Taking stock of the things you have done wrong and striving to make amends takes courage.

Courage is based on doing more than you think you are capable of doing, and going farther than you thought you could go.

Today my actions will reflect courage. I will go above and beyond all the challenges that face me.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

When you worry, you go over the same ground endlessly and come out the same place you started. Thinking makes progress from one place to another. . . . The problem of life is to change worry into thinking and anxiety into creative action.

~ Harold B. Walker ~

The prisoner in a narrow jail cell has one path to pace-walking the same path with the same amount of paces at the same rate. It never changes until that prisoner is released.

When we worry, we are like that prisoner. Worry keeps our minds confined to one set of thoughts and keeps our physical bodies in a state of anxiety. We may believe that by thinking of the problem, we are working on a resolution. But we are really only dwelling on the futility of the problem.

It is only when we are released from worry that we can see solutions clearly. Tonight, let us free ourselves from worry's constraints, change our minds from tunnel vision to clear thoughts. These thoughts are the key to our release from worry and anxiety.

I don't have to stay prisoner to worrisome thoughts. Tonight can allow clear thinking to give me freedom from worry.

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Living miracles

When people abuse alcohol and other drugs month after month, it seems that only a miracle can take them out of their depths of despair. But the miracle is not having a great vision or experience. Rather we need only do our daily task.

If we practice patience, faith, and love amidst the turmoil of the day, we will have great opportunity for a clean, joyful life. If we practice the needs of the spirit, we will become our own living miracles.

Am I living spiritually?

Higher Power, may I act more in your spirit in my daily activities.

I will practice living spiritually today by

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

Gossip is the opiate of the oppressed.

~ ERICA JONG ~

Newcomer

Someone I know in this fellowship announced to me that she’s not a gossip, then proceeded to ask my advice about a personal situation involving another member of the fellowship. I jumped right into it; I know gossip is wrong, but I was flattered to be taken into her confidence. Now, whenever I see the person who was gossiped about, I think about what I heard.

Sponsor

Gossip and criticism of others is often described as harm-less, but it is not. It harms everyone concerned: the gossiper, those who hear him or her, and the person gossiped about. It divides us from one another, fostering an “us against them” mentality that threatens the basis of recovery— threatens our acknowledgment of a common problem, our need for sharing and identification with others, our commitment to group unity and welfare. When we take other people’s inventories, we lose sight of our own; it’s not healthy for our recovery.

If we’re not sure how to handle a people problem we’re facing, we may need to reason things out with someone we trust. Crossing the boundary into gossip or character assassination, however, is something we can learn to live without.

Today, I respect the power of words. I use them for healing, rather than harm.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

One reason is the creator of all our conditions of life, whether they be legitimate or illegitimate. We think ourselves into stormy and turbulent living just as surely as we think ourselves into peace and serenity.

Our stinking drinking was as much a product of our stinking thinking as was our stinking thinking the result of our stinking drinking.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

IN FELLOWSHIP

Whatever is true, whatever is noble,
Whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely,
Whatever is unselfish‒if anything is useful or praiseworthy‒
I will think about such things.
The things I have learned and received and heard and seen in
Our Fellowship and Program, I will practice, and the God of
My understanding will be with me.

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

THAT ILLOGICAL FELLOW

People sometimes say, "l believe firmly in the spiritual teaching, and I have done so for years, but I have never been able to make it work−isn't that strange?" And sometimes they say this with quite an air of triumph.

Such people remind me of a man who used to boast that he had an ailment that no one could heal. He had successfully defied every school of healing and had emerged triumphantly still in possession of his affliction. As it happens, his wife did heal him later on by prayer alone, but she was a patient and persevering woman. That man's wife probably points the way to the overcoming of such illogicality. The key to success lies in just the qualities that she obviously had; patience combined with a gentle and unhurried expectation of success.

The patient whom she healed is not a rare specimen, nor is he unknown to any one of us. We are all likely to encounter him under our own hat at any moment!

I know thy works, and. charity, and service, and faith, and thy patience, and thy works . . . (Revelation 2:19).

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Good News

Your defenses will not work, but you are not in danger.

~ A Course in Miracles ~

At a cavalry outpost in the Old West, two soldiers vigilantly fended off an Indian attack, determined to fight to the death if necessary. One of the soldiers tapped the other on the shoulder and informed him, "l have good news, and I have bad news. The bad news is that we are out of ammunition, and there are no reinforcements."

"Then what's the good news?" asked the other soldier.

"There are no Indians."

We may spend much of our life trying to protect ourselves against the calamities that threaten to destroy us. We may invest vast amounts of time, energy, and effort to armor ourselves against people, institutions, and ideas that we believe have the power to take away our good. Yet if we would step back for even a moment and call to question the power we have ascribed to evil, we would find that our entire defense strategy was based on a faulty premise. "Logic" has been defined as " a system of reasoning by which you arrive at the wrong conclusion with confidence." lf we build our world on fear, every action that follows on its heels will result in self-diminution because we erected our world on a misunderstanding.

What actions do you undertake in the name of self-defense? Do they truly bring you more peace, or do they edify your sense of powerlessness and abandonment? I chuckle as I read magazine ads for radar detectors. Every year the companies come out with a new method to outwit current state-of-the-art police technology, and the next year the police invent new methods for overriding the latest radar detectors. Like the Mad magazine cartoon, "Spy Versus Spy," everyone is trying to trick everyone else, and no one ever wins.

We are most powerful when we give up trying to defend ourselves and allow Spirit to take care of us.

Help me to let go of my human defenses and rely on You for my safety and support.

The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.

June 10

Step by Step

Today, whether a veteran or newcomer to the program or how many or few few 24 Hours of sobriety I have, give me courage to trust enough to reach out to share my experiences, worries, fears and foibles. And in so doing, perhaps I can dent the wall of self-isolation that I built in my drinking days but might still stand despite putting those drinking days in the past. Self-imposed isolation and loneliness became habitual because of alcohol, and the habit of being constantly on guard might remain a formidable one to change. Let my history remind me that, when I first came to the program, I was greeted by people who made me feel less helpless, less hopeless, less afraid, less lonely. If now I grapple with some issue that I don't think anyone would understand or wants to be saddled with, let me realize that the weight of what I carry might lessen if for no other reason than receiving support from the same people who welcomed me when I gave up alcohol. Today, left me chip away at the wall of any self-isolation that remains. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

PEOPLE-PLEASING

Formula for failure: trying to please everyone.

~ Anonymous ~

It has done us no good to set standards we could not reach. On many occasions, we adopted goals that couldn’t be reached from the beginning. We allowed our identities to become tied in with pleasing people. If we suffered rejection, we collapsed into a quivering heap. Each time we wrapped ourselves up in a package for someone to pass judgment on, we set ourselves up for failure.

We know we are not God. We must realize no other human being is God, either. We can't ask any person to judge us. We can't judge anyone else. The foundation of our Program is the decision we made in Step Three to turn our wills and lives over to the care of God. This is the formula for success. Try pleasing God, not other people.

I can't build my life and recovery on always trying to please others. My road to success is pleasing my Higher Power.

©1990 by Anonymous. All rights reserved. Published by Hazelden.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

I felt angry toward my friend.
I told my wrath. My wrath did end.
I felt angry toward my foe.
I told him not. My wrath did grow.

~ William Blake ~

A basic fact of our human nature is that expressing our feelings helps resolve them. When we push them down or keep them hidden, we preserve them and save them up, and sometimes the pressure only makes them grow. Many of us are afraid that expressing our feelings will make things worse. We have learned that we are capable of suppressing our feelings to smooth situations over. However, those feelings come out later, either through uncontrolled outrage or as problems with our health.

A good relationship only grows deeper and more trusting when we express our feelings to each other. It may feel awkward or risky to tell a loved one that we feel hurt, but when we say it respectfully, we can expect a respectful reply. When we have good methods of communication, our relationships grow stronger and deeper with each passing year.

When I feel anger, I will express it respectfully.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

Pain and chaos in my life gives me a chance for transformation.

~ Carlotta Posz ~

Most of us are sharing this recovery journey because the pain of chemical dependency had become more than we could bear. If the pain had been more easily tolerated, we would have continued drinking or using other drugs, perhaps for many years. Today we can be grateful for that pain. We can see the daily evidence of what this new way of life means. We are being transformed.

But what about the pain we feel when we fail to get a job we want? Or the pain we feel when a relationship dissolves? It’s not easy to remember that these pains, too, promise us growth and transformation. We may fail to remember that our Higher Power is in charge and that the sometimes painful changes are part of God’s plan. We’d have changed very littie if left to our own devices.

Trusting God to continue charting our course sometimes feels painful, but only until we remember that the pain means God is nudging us into growth.

If I am feeling some pain today, maybe God thinks it’s time for me to make some changes. I will try to under-stand God’s will throughout this day.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I want to know my moods

I'm not sure what's going on. I worry that I'm heading for more problems. Even though I'm abstinent, going to meetings, and taking my meds, I have these bleak stretches of two or three days. They're getting me down.

But a fellow program member gave me a good tip. She said that when she feels bad and doesn't know why, she takes time out to carefully review the day (or the past couple of days). She lists each emotionally significant event and asks herself how she feels about it, particularly about her part in it. We talked further and I saw how this process could help me learn what I've been thinking so I can understand what I'm feeling. Then I'll be able to decide what, if anything, to do next.

Today I will sit down for five minutes to practice listening to my thinking and try to learn what I'm feeling.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

I'm finally learning how to take care of myself.

~ George P. ~

Giving to others is perhaps the most gratifying feeling of all. We get so much more back from others — thanks, self-esteem, that warm glow we all love. So why don’t we thank ourselves that way? Are we ungrateful for the loving gifts we bring to ourselves? Is someone else’s opinion of us more important than our own?

We can turn that around, learn to give and accept self-gifts as graciously as we give to others. We can begin by offering some praise for the good things we do for ourselves. Good nutrition can be a boring grind, or it can be something we give to ourselves to strengthen our bodies. Tasks to complete can fill us with dread, or we can think ahead to how good we’ll feel afterward to have accomplished so much.

When we’re willing to admit we’re worthy of love we begin to be able to do these small things for ourselves. We begin to recognize how loving we are, and we bring that joyous new love to others, too.

Today help me to give and accept love freely.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

I read somewhere that everybody on this planet is separated by only six other people. Six degrees of separation between us and everyone else on this planet. The President of the United States, a gondolier in Venice, just fill in the names.

~ John Guare ~

Six degrees of separation—a concept originally conceived by Frigyes Karinthy and made popular by play-wright John Guare—refers to the idea that socialization in the modern world has resulted in ever-increasing connections. It becomes apparent that people are more linked with one another than they realize.

Facebook, Twitter, blogs, and other social media pro-vide places for discovering and enhancing such connections. They are like technological coffee shops where people feel comfortable gathering together to share their personal lives. But sometimes this sharing can be too open and too personal. The pseudo-anonymity afforded by social media sites can present serious issues with privacy. This is especially true for members of Alcoholics Anonymous.

It is especially important to safeguard the anonymity of others on any social media sites you frequent. While you may choose to discuss thoughts, feelings, and opinions of your own, you should never include the names of other program members or information about them or their lives.

Today I will respect the confidentiality of others in the program.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

I wish there were windows to my soul, so that you could see some of my feelings.

~ Artemus Ward ~

Wouldn't it be great if people could see our feelings? All we'd have to do is walk into a room and someone could say, "l see you're feeling sad right now. Let me help you."

Many of us grew up expecting people to be mind readers. Without voicing our feelings or asking for help, we believed people should be able to see how we felt. When they didn't, we usually became angry, hurt, or depressed. Until someone pointed this out to us, we never recognized how silent we were and how great our expectations were of others.

Unless we voice our feelings, they will never be heard. And unless we ask for help, we will never get assistance. The people in our lives have ears to listen and arms to hold us−if we choose to open the windows to our soul.

I can tell someone how I feel. I can ask for help if I need it. If those around me seem to be upset, I can be there for them but I will not try to be a mind reader.

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Being foolish

Many of us could say that what we have gained from this program we’ve gained in spite of ourselves. We get in our own way and often block ourselves from our Higher Power and fellow addicts. In the beginning, we did foolish things such as going to places where drugs or alcohol are used, deliberately setting ourselves up to take that first drink or drug.

Even when we make such mistakes, God still accepts us. We can still choose to pray and ask for help. Even with our foolish moments, in spite of ourselves, God will help if we ask.

Am I becoming less foolish these days?

Higher Power, help me become more aware of my own foolish thoughts, and help me avoid acting on them.

Today I will try to stay out of my own way by

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

Nothing so needs reforming as other people’s habits.

~ MARK TWAIN ~

Newcomer

There’s someone who comes to my favorite meeting, sits in the front, and always puts his hand up. When he gets called on, I groan inwardly. I think he’s mentally ill. He tells wild, unbelievable tales of his past, an exaggerated mix of fame and glory, degradation and violence. This man ruins the meetings. I don’t understand how other people put up with him or why they keep calling on him.

Sponsor

In the course of recovery, I’ve heard sharing I found obnoxious. I’ve taken others’ inventories all through some meetings. This one doesn’t belong, that one talks too much, another gives unsober advice. Worse, the chairperson won’t cut these nuisances off. Shouldn’t there be more rules?

In fact, we do have simple suggestions that we trust people to follow. Our most important suggestion is that members have a desire to stop drinking (or using food, drugs, codependency—whichever addictive substance or behavior is the focus of a particular fellowship). Another, from the guidelines of most groups, is that no one may disrupt a meeting.

If a meeting can continue without fanfare or judgment, then no one’s thoughts are “disruptive.” It’s not up to us to say who qualifies to be in a room of recovery; we can decide that only about ourselves. Over time, I’ve become more tolerant of others’ eccentricities. I’m grateful that my own differences, too, are accepted in this place of unconditional love.

Today, I keep the focus on myself and my recovery. I make a commitment to begin to know myself more intimately.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

The man who has the greatest trouble in getting our program is frequently the man who is above the average in education. He tries to open the door to our philosophy of living with his Phi Beta Kappa key. It just won’t fit.

The man who enters our door convinced that all he knows hasn’t been enough to keep him out of difficulty, who is willing to unlearn all those things he knows that are not so, and who, in humility, is willing to open his mind in heart to the simple wisdom of those who have succeeded where he has failed, is almost a sure bet.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

SURRENDER PRAYER (OXFORD GROUP, 1934)

I surrender to You my entire life, O God.
I have made a mess of it, trying to run it myself
You take it‒the whole thing‒and run it for me,
According to Your will and plan.

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

CAN HAPPINESS BE FOUND?

Volumes have been written on the secret of happiness, but I like the simple old story that has been told so often. In the old days, there was a king who was so miserable and unhappy that he called together all of his soothsayers, magicians, and other court advisers to find a remedy. They tried all sorts of methods to rouse the king out of his deep despair−but alas, to no avail. Finally, one of them suggested that a search be made for the happiest man in the kingdom, for it was thought that if the king could put on the man's undershirt, he would become happy too. In due course, the happiest man in the kingdom was found. But, of course, he had never even owned an undershirt. His happiness sprang from within.

And ye shall seek me, and find me, when ye shall search for me with all your heart (Jeremiah 29:13).

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

The Pig of God

Trust would settle every problem now.

~ A Course in Miracles ~

As a man was driving around a dangerous hairpin mountain curve, a woman in a little red sports car tore around the bend from the opposite direction, cutting him off and forcing him to veer off the road. To add insult to injury, as the woman sped by, she yelled “Pig!” Furious, the man shook his fist at her and shouted, “Sow!” He kept going around the curve, where he ran into a pig sitting on his side of the road.

Sometimes when it appears that life is attacking us, it is trying to help us. Those who challenge us bring us valuable life lessons that we might miss if we are caught up in feeling insulted or unappreciated. Imagine that everyone you meet is here to assist you to go deeper into your wisdom, healing, and joy. Do not be fooled by appearances; use your higher vision until you find gold.

When I attended a lecture by Ram Dass, he announced that several people in the audience needed rides to a nearby city. When no one in the auditorium raised their hand to offer assistance, he added, “And the person you take in your car may be the Christ or Buddha in disguise." Immediately, half a dozen hands went up! Cultivate the ability to say, "Thank you for everything," and you will find that everything is a gift.

Open my vision to see the gifts I have been missing.
Open my heart to love in situations I judged as unlovable.

I name all things "good," and I welcome life as a brilliant teacher.

June 11

Step by Step

Today, I will not fight anything and everything that comes my way, nor will I question why or complain that something is just another thing added to what I think is already a heavy burden. Today, I will simply be and accept what may come and ask God for His will to handle it and, if He deems, to let Him deal with it, and hopefully I might gain insight that I may be fighting myself needlessly and making sobriety and recovery a lot more complicated than they have to be. And if I continue to worry about something that is of valid and serious concern, I will trust unconditionally that my higher power will give me what I need to get through it even if how I want it to be resolved is not how He intends. Today, I will simply be and will not fight or plan for some crisis that may never be. I am. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

CHOICES

Before I came to the Program, I had no choice. I had to use. Now I have a choice.

~ Anonymous ~

One of the freedoms we enjoy is that of making choices. Only experience and the advice of others who are wiser than we can determine if our choices are right. Even if some are risky, we cannot settle for being wishy-washy. Straddling issues achieves nothing. .Bad choices can be corrected by second chances. There is no shame in delaying a choice while we examine all possibilities.

C.H.O.I.C.E. is Courage, Humility, Optimism, Industry, Caution, and Energy. When we choose recovery, we use all of these things. And the end result is H.A.P.P.I.N.E.S.S.: Humility, Awakening, Plenty, Program, Insight, New life, Excitement, Spirituality, and Serenity.

There is no “right” choice, only choices made after asking my Higher Power for direction and listening carefully for the answer. If I do that correctly and the choice still seems “wrong,” then I haven’t understood God’s will for me.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

In everyone’s heart stirs a great homesickness.

~ Rabbi Seymour Siegel ~

We ask ourselves, what drove us to do some of the things we did? We went to extremes when we knew our actions were not rational. Even today, we are drawn to extremes. At times we still long for things that we know will hurt us. Are we puzzled by these desires?

Wise men and prophets have searched their own deep truths to understand their desires and longings. Many say that our desires and hungers are, at the base of our being, a search for a spiritual home, a place where we know we are welcome, safe, and loved. Perhaps we are all born longing for that home. Maybe we first taste it when we first experience the warmth of loving and caring parents, even when it was only a taste, and only partially satisfied. Then we spend the rest of our lives in pursuit of that good feeling again.

The wisdom of the Twelve Steps points us toward that spiritual home. A lifetime of growth and development follows in which we feel the spirit in our fellowship with other men and women, and we learn from others how they have found their way home.

Today the stirring in my heart will be a sign of my spiritual longing.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

I am learning to nourish myself with affirmations. By adding a few short sentences each week, I am able to create a repository of truths to draw upon.

~ Laurel Lewis ~

Through our friends in recovery we are learning that we have always been lovable, even though we may have grown up in families where love was seldom expressed. We have been told that Mom and Dad raised us to the best of their ability, but that does not mean that we were given the affirmations or the gentle guidance that we needed as youngsters. Our parents were not able to pass on what they didn’t have, and old patterns die hard.

We are breaking the old patterns now. We are in recovery and learning to give ourselves the affirmations and gentle guidance that we failed to get from our families. We are sharing our personal stories and being loved for it. We are getting the positive strokes we deserve from friends. We are telling ourselves that we’re worthy of respect, love, and all the good that the universe holds.

I will create at least one affirmation today that will help me move in a more positive direction.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I want to become more assertive

One important issue I am working on in my dual recovery is assertiveness. I am tired of the anger and shame I feel when I don't speak up for myself or when I don't say what I want.

I believe I'm afraid to speak up‒perhaps because I'm afraid that if I do I'll hurt someone or perhaps I'll end up being hurt or rejected. (or even emotionally attacked). But through my support groups I'm learning two big things: (a) I have more courage and strength than I thought, and (b) people can take care of themselves.

I will practice saying what I think and what I want with two safe people: for starters, my therapist and my sponsor.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

Afoot and lighthearted I take to the open road,
Healthy, free, the world before me,
The long, brown path before me, leading wherever
I choose.

~ Walt Whitman ~

Being able to make free, healthy choices is a great gift and one that requires careful thought. The greatest choice we have made is our desire to live a sober life. It was a difficult one, but one that will lead us to other healthy choices. Living one day at a time, we choose what is important in our lives and what is not. We learn to make healthy decisions — those decisions which promote our recovery and a peaceful life. It helps to remember that we are human; just because we are sober doesn’t mean we will always make the right choice. Working our program gives us all the tools we need to make choices for who we are and what we are to become.
But if we fall back into our old behavior and make some bad decisions, we will learn from those, too. Growth comes not only with success but with failure, too. Now, our mistakes can help us grow and become stronger every day.

Today let me choose from my heart what is best for my recovery.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

My defenses were so great. The cocky rock and roll hero who knows all the answers was actually a terrified guy who didn’t know how to cry.

~ John Lenon ~

When you choose to suppress, rather than express, your feelings, they have a tendency to emerge in other ways. You may be able to keep them under control for a while, but eventually they will build up like the steam in a pressure cooker and reach a point where they need to be released. This is especially true when you are afraid. Fear can sometimes escalate into a panic attack, particularly during stressful times.

Whenever you feel fear, remember that you are not the first or only person to feel scared or anxious in recovery. Then ask yourself, “What am I afraid of?” By taking a more rational, analytical approach to your fear—even by making a list of those things that scare you—you will gain greater understanding of what frightens you.

Perhaps you are afraid you will fail in your recovery. Maybe you are terrified to think about your childhood and stir up memories you have long suppressed. Or maybe you are anxious about making amends to someone. Identify what it is you are afraid of—and then conquer your fear by taking action.

No matter what I do today, I will not allow myself to be paralyzed by fear or anxiety.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

So I can't sink down and let the time of my real being take me, for if I try and for a moment can see no direction, cannot tell where I am going I am filled with panic, scared of emptiness. I must be doing something. . . .

~ Joanna Field ~

Imagine for a moment that we have no plans for tomorrow. No job to get up for or classes to attend, no errands to run. At first we may think this is delightful, but we need to think back to the last occasion we had time to spend alone.

Did we sit comfortably, clearing our minds of all thought and tension to listen to our inner selves? Or did we immediately turn on the television, reach for a book, or aimlessly putter?

We may be afraid to sit alone in our stillness. Yet when we allow our inner selves to be heard without background noise or the diversions of projects or hobbies, we will begin to discover our inner thoughts are creative and stimulating and intuitive. We will begin to discover ourselves.

Tonight I can take fifteen minutes to lie quietly with myself. If I have to ask what I will think about, I know I can Let Go and Let God.

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Being an addict

Sometimes people feel more qualified to be members of the program because they feel they have suffered more physical deprivation. But this does not really matter: An addict is an addict, pain is pain, suffering is suffering.

You can be an addict and suffer whether you have holes in your pants or a new suit, an empty belly or a full one.

Do I realize that addiction and suffering are a state of mind?

Higher Power, help me see that pain is pain and that I cannot judge it for anyone.

Today I will help those who still suffer, whether rich or poor, by

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

I take a breath when I have to.

~ ETHEL MERMAN ~

Newcomer

There’s someone in my life for whose welfare I’m responsible. I feel frustrated and angry. I’m doing what I’m supposed to do, but I’m not getting much cooperation. Today, I feel invisible.

Sponsor

Caregiving, whether of a new baby, an older child, a sick partner or friend, or an aging parent, is demanding work under any circumstances. Some of us have full-time jobs caring for others—we’re parents, nurses, medical aides, social workers, therapists, pastors, teachers. Many of us have no choice but to continue in our roles as caregivers, even while we’re going through the immense upheaval of early recovery.

If we find ourselves enjoying the taste of martyrdom, it’s time to air out our egos. Part of our work in recovery is learning to have respect for our physical and emotional limitations, avoiding resentment and burnout. We may need to get to a meeting and let off some steam. We may need to take time for a walk, a swim, a nap, or something that nurtures us and recharges our batteries. We may need to let go of our perfectionism.

Today, there’s only one thing I need to do perfectly, and that is to stay away from my drug of choice.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

Don’t kid yourself, pal. You want to drink but you can’t. You never can. Admit it. Accept it−then forget it.

You can get sobriety−so get it, keep it and like it.

It’s as simple as that.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

RIGHT LIVING

From the cowardice that dare not face new truth
From the laziness that is contented with half-truth
From the arrogance that thinks it knows all truth,
Good Lord, deliver me.

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

CASH THAT BILL!

Within you is an inexhaustible source of power, if you can but contact it. That power can heal you, and it can inspire you by telling you what to do and how to do it. It can give you peace of mind, and, above all, it can give you direct knowledge of God. That power is scientific prayer. There is no problem that prayer cannot overcome and no good thing that it cannot bring into your life.

This is the message of the whole Bible. It was summed up by Jesus when he said,

. . . the kingdom of God is within you (Luke 17:21).

This truth was dramatically illustrated by an incident in real life. The body of a tramp, clad in rags, was discovered near a lime kiln where he had evidently crept for warmth. After the autopsy his clothes were torn up to be put into the incinerator, and sewn into the lining of the trousers was a bank note for a large amount. Unquestionably the original owner of the suit had had ir sewn in there for safety, and for some unknown reason lost track of it.
Consider the situation! This poor hobo had sat down many a time to lukewarm coffee−and all the time he was sitting on a thousand dollars. People may have plenty of money and yet be hoboes for health or happiness or spiritual experience. Riches do not become wealth until they are realized. Cash your bill at the Bank of Heaven and make it productive.

But my God shall supply all your need. . . (Philippians 4: 19).

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Fearless

I am at home. Fear is the stranger here.

~ A Course in Miracles ~

In the film Fearless, Jeff Bridges portrays a man named Max who narrowly escapes death in a plane crash. In surrendering to imminent death, he loses all fear, and when he goes on with his life, he finds himself unafraid in a world motivated by mistrust and deception. His lawyer wants him to lie to exact a larger settlement from the airline company; his wife cannot handle the truth he is now unafraid to tell about their numb relationship; and his psychologist thinks he has gone mad (while he has actually gone sane).

In a poignant scene, Max momentarily gives in to pressure to lie, which leaves him painfully contracted. To vent the horror he feels, he climbs onto the roof of a tall building and screams at the top of his lungs. Watching this symbolic scene, I wondered how loud would be the cries of humanity if we all went up on a roof and screamed at the top of our lungs in proportion to the pain and constriction we have experienced by living in ways that are inconsistent with our true nature.

Fear is not our ordained condition. Psychologists tell us that infants are born with only two fears-that of falling, and loud noises; every other fear is learned. Fear is not a reality, because if it were, everyone would be afraid of the same things.

To live in fear is not natural, and neither is it our destiny. Our destiny is to live in peace and express joy. Dump fear by trusting life to provide for you as you live your truth.

Help me to see beyond the illusion of fear and walk in strength and freedom.

Love is my nature. My trust manifests miracles.

June 12

Step by Step

"When we became alcoholics, crushed by a self-imposed crisis we could not postpone or evade, we had to fearlessly face the proposition that either God is everything or else He is nothing. God either is, or He isn't. What was our choice to be?" - Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, Ch 4 ("We Agnostics"), p 53.

Today, if asked by an agnostic or atheist how I know a higher power exists, what will be my answer? Because the program suggests surrender to a power greater than ourselves, I need only look into my yesterdays to understand that the power of alcohol was greater than me and, if something can be so strong as to knock me into the deepest and darkest of gutters, can there not be a power that can lift me to heights I have never reached? If this comparison of polar entities does not strike a cord, I need only remember that I already know the power of alcohol - and it took from me literally everything. Maybe on blind faith I can at least hope - if not believe - that something adverse is more powerful, strong enough to at least give me courage to start anew. What have I got to lose? Today, I seek the courage to make a leap of faith and seek a power stronger than alcohol. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

FRUSTRATION

Nothing is unthinkable, nothing impossible to the balanced person, provided it arises out of the needs of life and is dedicated to life's further developments.

~ Lewis Mumford ~

In recovery we walk one foot in front of the other. We live life One Day at a Time. We Live and Let Live. These slogans we have in the Program help with the frustrations we experience in everyday living. The fact of the matter is, most of us have spent so many years forcing our will on each situation that it is difficult to stop

It takes practice and patience to slow down and let life come to us, rather than rushing off to "make things happen." Our Higher Power has a sense of time and timing that will be revealed to us slowly. Frustration will not move a clock forward, change a traffic light from red to green, or make us younger. Frustration will only block our serenity.

The Steps teach me that it is sometimes necessary to do absolutely nothing. I can hear better when I am quiet.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

When the truth is told lovingly, with insight and compassion, you can say anything.

~ Shawnee Undell ~

There are times when we know something, or we have a difficult thing to say to someone, and we can’t see how we could possibly speak it. Perhaps today our spouse or dear friend has done something we feel upset about, or perhaps someone at work is doing something that we need to discuss with him or her.

When we have a hard message to deliver, we don’t have to speak it harshly. We can say almost anything to someone if we can put our arm around that person, figuratively speaking. Naturally, we can’t always expect to be received with open arms when our message is hard to hear. A sensitive or painful truth sometimes is the valuable gift that only we as friends can deliver. We don’t even have to be right; what is required it that we are sincere.

Today I will look for loving and compassionate ways to say my truth.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

I only have to be what I am, no more, no less.

~ Robbie Rocheford ~

Feeling that we are not good enough is common among women everywhere, not just among those of us who are in recovery. Often we wonder how we first got this feeling of inadequacy. We search our memories for experiences and people to blame. Other people’s expectations, our shame, and the searing events of the past no doubt left an imprint on us. We are, unquestionably, the sum and substance of all we have known.

What we need to know today is that we are unconditionally loved and accepted just as we are, not only by the friends who surround us now but also by our Higher Power. We are learning to recognize the boundaries between us and those walking our path; this empowers us to let go of others’ judgments and be more accepting of ourselves.

It gives me real joy to believe that I am okay. By affirming this belief often, I will imprint it on my mind.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I am slowly accepting myself

With my dual disorder it seems I have lost some of my abilities. I can’t concentrate, sleep, or remember as well these days. There are times I can't go to work, eat my regular foods, or even drive a car.

I can’t do much of anything except work on my recovery. That's hard-but it's also good. Because in my heart I know that recovery is what I need to concentrate on. As I get stronger, I trust that much of my life will fall back into place again.

I will write out an affirmation that says, "I accept the way I am these days." I could even say it out loud, looking at myself in the mirror.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

Loneliness is caused by an alienation from life.
It is a loneliness from your real self.

~ Maxwell Maltz ~

There is a vast difference between being alone and being lonely. To be alone but in touch with ourselves can be very rewarding. But to many of us, the isolation and alienation we feel in our loneliness are devastating. To feel that we have no one, not even ourselves to depend on, can lead to despair.

Belonging to a group that shares our pain and has lived through our experiences will help end our isolation from ourselves. A Twelve Step group validates our feelings, shares our grief, helps us learn to love and trust our Higher Power, and shares our hope for the future. A group can also be the source for a sponsor, someone we can always go to. Instead of feeling different, as we have for so long, in our group we have a place to feel a part of others, and to accept ourselves.

Continuing to be a part of this fellowship, we learn how to accept who we are, and we learn that being alone with our true self can be a creative and joyful process in recovery.

Today help me be grateful for all those who so freely give of their love and support.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

Efficiency is intelligent laziness.

~ David Dunham ~

The invention of the modern sandwich is attributed to John Montagu, the Fourth Earl of Sandwich. As the story goes, Montagu was hungry but did not want to stop playing cards. He ordered his servant to bring him meat between two slices of bread so his fingers would not get greasy and he could continue to gamble while eating.

Whether truth or legend, what is considered to be accurate is that Montagu held a number of important positions of power throughout his lifetime. Yet he was viewed as so incompetent and corrupt that it was suggested his epitaph read, “Seldom has any man held so many offices and accomplished so little.”

Do you approach your recovery with determination, or with laziness? After attending 90 meetings in 90 days, you may begin tapering off from such diligence. Upon completion of your work on one of the Steps, you may focus your attention outside the program. Or as you accumulate days free from your habit, you may go about your day-to-day life thinking you are “cured.”

Recovery requires your time and attention. It requires you to do all of the work necessary to develop your knowledge and skills so that you can become not just a sober person, but a better person.

Today I will do the work I need to do in recovery.

**************************************************

~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

Use what talents you have; the woods would have little music if no birds sang their song except those who sang best.

~ Rev. Oliver G. Wilson ~

The perfectionist in all of us gives us some pretty harsh criticism. It tells the photographer in us we'll never be Ansel Adams. It tells the writer in us we'll never be Charles Dickens. It tells the businessperson in us we'll never be Henry Ford. It tells the parent in us we'll never have the perfect family.

This perfectionist has an uncanny way of making us feel inferior to all who have gone before us. Such condemnations may hurt our creativity and abilities so much that we decide to give up trying to be good at anything. So we fail before we begin.

How do we know we won't be good at what we do? We certainly won't be Ansel Adams or anybody else because they've already existed. But we can be ourselves and use our talents to do our best. We may become famous and successful, or we may not. But we won't know unless we try. With our talents and determination, we can achieve splendid things. But we won't know unless we try.

What are my talents? I can develop these talents not in imitation of another but with curiosity about what I can do.

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Letting go of our defects

We’re not like everyone else. We demand attention. We would die if we found out we’re not the center of a few lives. We want reassurances that we’re coming across as the generous, honorable people we are striving to become, but we soon realize that character defects and self-centeredness still plague us.

When we get a glimpse from time to time of how others see us, it can be a dreadful, painful experience. If it weren’t for the loving attitude of our fellow addicts, many of us could not endure it. But the growth process is worth the pain as we find out that we’re gradually becoming the generous, honorable people that we want to be.

Am I letting go of my defects?

Higher Power, help me to see myself as I truly am to begin to let go of my character defects.

Today I will work on self-centeredness by

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

Above all, anger needs to be felt so it can be talked through, understood and integrated, rather than acted out. In this way, it cleanses the self.

~ TIAN DAYTON ~

Newcomer

Today I felt so angry at someone who was chattering on and on that I just wanted to smash something. I hardly even know this person, and I have no idea why I feel such fury or what to do about it.

Sponsor

Anger isn’t necessarily logical. Sometimes a little thing, a seemingly harmless word or a look, ignites anger that is al-ready inside us. In the early days of my recovery, this happened so frequently that I began to sense that I was constantly carrying a load of anger; it didn’t take much to set it off. My sponsor said, “Of course you’re angry—you can’t have your addictive substance anymore!”

Wherever it comes from, we don’t have to deny our anger or judge it. But going over and over it, feeding it, letting it turn into an obsession, can be painful. There are many safe ways to discharge anger without hurting our-selves or others: we can share it at a meeting or with a counselor; we can write about it, or we can get some good physical exercise, like running or vigorous walking, to release tension and keep things flowing through us.

Whether or not my anger makes sense today, I don’t deny it and I don’t whip it up. I acknowledge it, and I find a safe setting in which to release it.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

If we mean it when we say “Thy will be done,” then what God wills is what we will. Happy and sober will be the man or woman who aquires this frame of mind.

If you want all your prayers answered your way, then let your way be God’s way.

Too frequently we get God and Santa Claus mixed up.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

PEACE IN OUR HEARTS

Our Creator, show us the way of patience, tolerance,
And kindness. Grant us power in our love,
Strength in our humility,
Clarity in our thinking,
Purity in our zeal,
Sincerity in our purpose,
Kindness in our laughter,
Value in our gratitude,
Compassion in our friendships,
And Your peace in our hearts at all times.

*************************************************

~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

USE WHAT YOU HAVE

Many people say to me, "l want to get on faster. I want more understanding." And as a rule they go on to ask for a list of books to read or some "advanced course" that they can take.

This attitude is quite mistaken. It implies that spiritual advancement is a question of intellectual activity-of the mere accretion of knowledge. That is true in the study of mathematics, or of physics, or chemistry, but it is not true in metaphysics' Spiritual growth comes from putting into practice the knowledge we already possess. Instead of reading another book, read your favorite book once more and apply it more carefully than ever in your practical life.

Metaphysics, like music, is both a science and an art. In metaphysics it is absolutely true that you learn by doing.

. . . be ye doers of the word, and not hearers only . . . (James 1:22).

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Tigers or Strawberries

The past is a cancelled check, the future is a promissory note, and the present is cash in hand.

~ Anonymous ~

A man being chased by wild tigers scurried down a vine hanging over the edge of a cliff. Looking down, he saw two more hungry tigers waiting for him at the bottom of the vine. Unable to move backward or forward, he noticed a succulent, ripe red strawberry growing out of the side of the cliff near him. He smiled, plucked the fruit, and enjoyed the sweetest strawberry he had ever tasted.

While our past and future seem to threaten us, we can take refuge in the current moment. Anxiety springs from regret or resentment over past events or fear of anticipated pain. When we relax into the now moment, we are not vulnerable to the past or future, and we discover that eternity is a golden necklace strung of an infinite number of present moments. We can live quite well on fresh strawberries.

Help me to relax into the beauty of now.

I open my eyes and heart to the miracle of now, and leave time behind.

June 13

Step by Step

"(Alcoholics) have one symptom in common: they cannot start drinking without developing the phenomenon of craving. This phenomenon ...may be the manifestation of an allergy which differentiates these people, and sets them apart as a distinct entity. It has never been ...permanently eradicated. The only relief we have to suggest is entire abstinence." - Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, "The Doctor's Opinion," p xxviii.

Today, no illusion that I may again be able to drink responsibly. The risk is too high, its costs potentially lethal. I will not try "just one" or "controlled" drinking with the myth or desperate thought that I can undo by returning to the thing that ravaged me physically, emotionally and spiritually - alcohol. If the physician is right that we as problem drinkers have a craving for alcohol, any amount of it is paramount to a relapse from which I might not return. Today, I accept that I am an alcoholic, that I cannot play the game of by-passing that fact and, in so doing, I refuse to fuel the craving. Today, I have a choice: I will not drink. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

The future shall know when it has come; before then, forget it"

~ Aesclhylus ~

The Fellowship keeps us grounded in the current moment. We learn to live today. Our planning and scheming and dreaming about tomorrow becomes less time consuming. The idea of living one day at a time makes sense to us. Our Program teaches us that life is not about to happen, it is happening, and each moment is important.

When we concentrated only on the future, we couldn't be happy with today. We thought if we could only get to tomorrow, things would be better. Tomorrow never comes, so we were always trapped in a hopeless situation. Now we live one day at a time, and grow moment by moment.

Recovery is about today and living life in the present. Since I no longer have to manage the universe, I have only myself to worry about today. I can let my Higher Power take care of tomorrow.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

To the rationally minded, the mental processes of the intuitive appear to work backward. His conclusions are reached before his premises.

~ Frances Wickes ~

Intuition is a valuable form of wisdom that often seems mystical. We lose our keys and can’t find them in any of the usual places and then an idea pops into our mind about where to find them. When we look there, we find them. Only after the fact can we explain— maybe—why that spot came to mind. That’s intuition. Or, on a higher plane, we have a feeling that a certain choice in our life would be a big mistake, or one day, for no clear reason, we expect our partner to tell us something important.

The wisdom of our intuition deserves our great respect. It is a valuable guide. Even though it is not 100 percent accurate, and we cannot expect it to be, we should not violate ourselves by contradicting it. Instead, we grow by developing our intuition, listening to what we imagine and what we feel, and following our instincts. Intuition is another form of spiritual strength.

Today I will listen to my inner feelings about things, even when I don’t immediately understand them rationally.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

Life is like an unbridled horse.

~ Kay Lovatt ~

Many of us thought we knew where we were going after we finished school. We selected a path that fit our personality, we thought. Motherhood, a career, or both. Perhaps a single life or a low-stress job. Our friends suited our choices. So did our homes, our hobbies, our dreams. But then something happened. We didn’t plan on addiction. Our drinking or drug use seemed social, at least initially. Where did the path veer? Why didn’t we see the changes in store?

Life is full of surprises. Many are unwanted at first. But if we’re willing to accept them as opportunities, we can discover greater meaning for our lives. Twelve Step recovery is one of those opportunities. Many new changes are in store. We may no longer know where we are going, but we will get to where we need to be. Let’s hang on and enjoy the ride.

I am on the right course even if I don’t know exactly where it leads. I will let my trusted friends take the lead today.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I am learning about decisions

These days I'm having trouble making decisions. It's not that I'm deciding to get married or quit my job. It's making simple, everyday choices like what to do next; what to eat; do I call for support or not; do I go for a walk or stay at home and rest. I guess this is part of my emotional illness, but I feel tense and out of control when it happens.

But through my recovery group I am learning one thing that may help me get moving: a decision is not forever. I don't have to feel stuck because I have choices. I can make one choice and later change my mind.

Today I will promptly make two decisions, knowing I have the right to change my mind if I want to.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

Healthy anger—when I defend myself against an attack designed to destroy me — springs from self-respect.

~ Lee M. Silverstein ~

Anger is a way we regain our sense of self- respect and entitlement. We realize now that nothing is worth feeling like a doormat. We naturally feel angry when attacked, but we may lack the skills we need to appropriately channel our feelings. Sometimes confrontation is necessary, other times we are best served by turning things over to our Higher Power. Whatever we need when we are angry, sober living equips us with the tools to identify and share our angry feelings, and to find new options to help us maintain our dignity.

Now we can be thankful for our newfound ability to see more clearly what our anger is about and how we can deal with it. Now we can use and appreciate this healthy internal “alarm system” to grow and change. And we can turn our anger over and let go of lingering resentments on a daily basis.

Today let me share my anger honestly and then let go of it.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

What lies behind you and what lies in front of you pales in comparison to what lies inside of you.

~ Ralph Waldo Emerson ~

Imagine that today represents the starting line to a race. Behind you are the months of training that infused your mind, body, and spirit with great strength and stamina. Ahead of you lies the finish line, at a point you cannot yet see.

You understand that as you race from the starting line to the finish line, you will face many challenges. But no matter what lies ahead of you or what the conditions will be, trust that you have the strength to face it—and to conquer it. Recovery shows you that you have, within you, a strength you never realized you had. This strength is so powerful that it can overcome an addiction. This strength is so dedicated that it can overcome dishonesty. This strength is so determined that it can overcome negativity.

Recovery is a platform from which healthy living springs. What you learn in the program and how you grow in the program is applicable to everything you do. Embrace everything you have learned in your recovery. Let this lead you to the finish line in any task you undertake today.

Recovery is my training program for life. It strengthens me so I can face and conquer any challenge.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

This time, like all times, is a very good one if we but know what to do with it.

~ Ralph Waldo Emerson ~

Is the glass half full or half empty? We know the answer to that question can symbolically reflect whether we have a positive or negative outlook on life. If we see the glass as half empty, we focus on what is gone. But if we say the glass is half full, we see what remains.

If we're full of ideas about how to spend our time, then our outlook is positive and we'll not waste a second. But if we're feeling bored or directionless or lonely, our days may be filled with a lot of negative energy and wasted moments.

Instead of focusing on what we don't have, we can change our attitude and look at what we do have. We have choices about how we want to spend our time. The decisions we make will have a direct bearing on how meaningful each day will be.

How can I change my attitude and make each day full?

**************************************************

~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Doing our best

Doing our best takes more time and energy, but the rewards are great. In staying clean and sober, it may mean feeling in tune, feeling committed, feeling successful—in short, serenity.

For many of us the fear of failure keeps us from putting everything we have into living. And when we don’t succeed, we always have the ready excuse, “I wasn’t really trying.” But the more we give to anything, the more we have to give, and the better we feel about ourselves.

Do I always put forth my best effort?

Higher Power, help me to accept my fear and do my best.

I will do my best today— even if I feel afraid—to

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

**************************************************

~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

All deception is self-deception.

~ SHIRLEY ELIAS ~

Newcomer

I needed a day off so badly last week that I called in sick. Then I felt uncomfortable all day. It reminded me of the way I used to feel when I was active in my addiction. Was what I did so terrible?

Sponsor

Whatever we choose to do has an impact on ourselves and others, and being sober and clear, we’re more aware of that impact. Telling a “harmless” lie in recovery may not affect other people or institutions in the long run as seriously as it affects us. When we lie in recovery, we ourselves suffer the consequences. We have feelings much like those we experienced when we were using. Fear, secrecy, guilt, and low self-esteem isolate us and may lead to our wanting to act out our addictions. Perhaps next time you need a “mental health day” away from work, you’ll ask for a personal day or vacation day instead of setting yourself up for a slip by faking illness.

Honesty in small things as well as large can get to be a habit that simplifies our lives and enhances our recovery. It’s freedom!

Today, my honesty gives me strength as I take actions appropriate to a person in recovery.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

It takes very much more skill to erect a house than it does to tear one down. Jesus of Nazareth could be crucified but His teachings could not be killed. His influence today exceeds that of all the Caesars, the Hannibals, the Napoleons and the Alexanders rolled into one.

These elementary truths were taught in differing forms by other religious teachers before and after His time. The principles of the Golden Rule are as old as civilization, for it is the very basis of civilization.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

OUR MEETING ROOM DOOR

Dear God,
Make the door of this meeting wide enough
To receive all who need love and fellowship
And narrow enough to shut out
All envy, pride, and hate.
Make its threshold smooth enough
To be no stumbling block to anyone,
Nor to those who have strayed,
But rugged enough to turn back
The tempters power:
Make it a gateway
To Thine eternal kingdom.

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

USE THAT BROOM!

A good housekeeper sees to it that dust and din do not accumulate in nooks and comers and on shelves. Periodically, the house is gone over and given a thorough cleaning. Too often in our spiritual lives, we allow negative things to accumulate in the comers of our minds. We tackle the obvious problems as they come along, but allow the small difficulties to pile up in the comers.

For instance, if we are faced with a problem of health or finance, we get to work on that immediately but if, on the other hand, someone has injured us, instead of handling the incident spiritually at the time, we ruck it away and perhaps pack in a little resentment along with it. Such problems should be dealt with as they arise. If someone has injured you, forgive him now, and be done with it. Take care of the other difficulties in like manner.

Be a good housekeeper. Clean out every nook and comer−and God will make you worthy of greater accomplishments in the future.

And he said unto him, Well done , thou good servant: because thou hath been faithful in a very little, have thou authority over ten cities (Luke 19:17).

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Beyond the Rap

Turn your melodrama into a mellow drama.

~ Ram Dass ~

The Heartbreak Kid is a hilarious film that chronicles the misadventures of a young man named Lenny (played by Charles Grodin) who attempts to bamboozle his way through social situations. When Lenny meets the girl of his dreams (Cybill Shepherd), he tells her, "l think it's time we stopped taking from the earth, and started putting back into it." A good philosophy, to be sure—except that Lenny is full of hot air; he uses the same spiel with everyone he meets.

Eventually, the couple gets married, and the final scene of the film depicts our hero at his wedding reception sitting on a couch between two 10-year-old children. "l think it's time we stopped taking from the earth..." he drones. The kids, bored to tears, look at each other, roll their eyes, and promptly get up and walk away. His rap fails to impress anyone.

Many of us, too, have our "rap"—a story we've told a thousand times. We tell it because it gets us attention, upholds our chosen image (often as a victim), and relieves us of social malaise. But falling back on our rap is always self-defeating because we're hiding behind our story line. We use our rap to escape from being fully present.

lf I find myself telling a particular story based on my drama more than three times, a little "rap alarm" goes off in my head. I recognize that I'm trying to milk the story for more than it's worth, and I'm hurting myself by hiding behind it. I see if I can tell a deeper truth, or just let it go. My rap has become shorter and shorter, and has mostly disappeared, allowing me to be fully present rather than fall back on a story.

Today I walked naked as myself. I discard any armor and allow myself to shine.

The truth about me is greater than any story I could fabricate.

June 14

Step by Step

Today, I can't dismiss my yesterdays of regrets and misconduct completely even though the program suggests we live only for today. It doesn't compel us to ignore our pasts as if they never occurred. While I will not live those days again, I also cannot discard the lessons they have and which might make today better by not repeating them. Maybe somewhere in the midst of all the damage and regret of yesterday there was also something good that can be carried into today, and my misconduct of yesterday can be a warning not to repeat it. Today, I will live for now. But my present - maybe my future, if there is one - might be disciplined if I accept and learn from the hard-edged lessons of yesterday. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M.

*****

Easy Does It

Truth

Great is truth. Fire cannot burn it nor water drown it. --Dumas

The importance of truth is stressed often during our 12 Step discussions. Truth is the foundation of all knowledge. It is the standard by which our actions are judged. Truth can never be bought. There is no "happy medium" in truth. All things must be either true or false.
Unless an activity begins with truth, it will be impossible to progress successfully. The advice "truth or silence" warns us of the possible harm from hurriedly made statements. Love and kindness must accompany truth even if we, as the giver or receiver, are pained by the truth. Our Program teaches us that truth can do no more than present things as they really exist.

For me to work my Program successfully, I must always work from a foundation of truth.

*****

The Eye Opener

By the grace of God, we alcoholics have acquired certain characteristics that have made us beneficial to the earth. We have become, in fact, the salt of the earth.

If, however, we hoard our savour to ourselves and fail to recognize our responsibility to distribute it to those portions of the earth that need it, then have we indeed lost our savour and it is good for nothing but to be cast out and to be trodden underfoot of men.

Nothing is a blessing unless we put it to some constructive use. The wealth of the world is useless to a starving man on an uninhabited and barren island.

*****

Around The Year with Emmet Fox

Common-sense vocabulary

When you apply a certain word to God, it must bear the same essential meaning as it does when you apply it to man---otherwise it has no meaning at all. When you say that God is Love or intelligence, or that He is just, these words must mean substantially what they mean when applied to human beings. The love of God must be essentially the same thing that we know as the love of the mother for her children, or the love of the artist for his creation, putified and increased to infinity, of course.

Many people say that God is Love, and at the same time maintain that He visits finite sin with eternal punishment. They claim that God is just, and yet maintain that people living today are suffering disabilities for a sin supposed to have been committed by Adam thousands of years before they were born.

The truth is that God is Love and Intelligence; and that He works with perfect wisdom and perfect justice to all, at all times, in the ordinary and correct meaning of these words.

….God is light, and in Him is no darkness at all (1 John 1:15).

He that loveth not knoweth not God; for God is Love (1 John 4:8).

Good and upright is the Lord… (Psalm 25:8).

June 15

Step by Step

Today, a conscious and conscientious effort to be honest in recovery and sobriety just as I was dishonest in my drinking. Sobriety and recovery begin with honesty to "admit (I am) powerless," to confess the nature of my wrongs, and honesty and courage to take responsibility and consequences to the people I hurt. Because recovery requires a turnaround in words, thoughts and actions, I cannot claim any quality recovery if I carry from my drinking days the dishonesty and lies to others and myself into my recovery. Without a basic change in my emotional and spiritual characters, I am little more than a dry drunk if all I do is abstain from drinking. Today, just as lying became habitual in my drinking days, I focus earnestly on making truth a habit to hold onto and nurture. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

ACCEPTING OURSELVES

Humility is our acceptance of ourselves.

~ Anonymous ~

It is strange how we can go to school and learn a lot of facts, but never learn much along the way about ourselves. We can take up nursing, teaching, counselling, giving ourselves to the needs of others, while never having our own needs met.

Why does it seem as if it is easier to solve the problems of the world than to solve our own problems? We simply don't know ourselves very well. When we look into a mirror and attempt to understand ourselves, our conclusions about what we see are usually very different from what a friend sees. When we finally take the time and make ourselves a priority, we make a startling discovery. There exists within us at all times a Higher Power that is the builder of all successes and our comforter during times of trial.

I understand myself only in relation to my Higher Power. The image I see and the identity I have is then one of humility before that Power. Humility is my acceptance of myself.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

When a man’s willing and eager, the gods join in.

~ Aeschylus ~

We can learn a lot about our present state of mind by asking ourselves what we are willing and eager for. Just now, are we willing to know ourselves better? Do we seek to become better human beings? Are we willing to move beyond self-destructive desires and leave them behind? Or are we more willing and eager for someone else to make things easy for us? Are we still holding on to our desires for control? Do we still hold on to hope for another ecstatic high?

After we face ourselves with the truth of what we really want, the truth can change us. First we are honest with ourselves, and that boosts our ability to actively choose what we really want. When we become willing, we are ready for the work of our Higher Power to help us go where we want to go.

Today I will keep in mind what I really want and not become distracted by temptations that lead off the path.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

We can look at everything in our lives as having the potential to be either a blessing or a curse. Nothing, it seems, comes for nothing.

~ Margaret R. Stortz ~

We interpret every experience in our lives. It’s probable that we interpreted most past events as not in our best interest. But was that really true? What is more likely is that we resisted many vital lessons. And because of our resistance, events that were for our good troubled us rather than taught us. This recovery program can help us work on our Interpretations.

We can learn from the terrible as well as the mundane. What may look terrible to us may appear sweet and inviting to someone else. It all depends on our perspective, and no one has charge of that but us. This program will convince us, if we’ll submit to using it, that nothing happens without cause. What we do with what we are given makes all the difference in our happiness.

Happiness is in my control today. Whatever happens can be a blessing if I take charge of my feelings.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I am learning to handle my stress

There are some problems in my life these days that I can’t solve. (There are some I cannot even address.) It's hard to keep my mind on my job or my dual recovery. Sometimes with the stress I think about using.

So I mentioned this to a good friend at my meeting and she offered me what works for her: breathing. When she feels stressed, she gets herself comfortable and then, slowly, simply sits still for a while. She said it doesn’t "fix" anything, but it relaxes her. It helps her gain a little more perspective and acceptance. I'm glad I have friends who can help me. I'm willing to give this a try.

Today I will take five minutes to practice quiet breathing and letting go.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

I’ve been working two programs from the beginning.
That’s what works for me.

~ Bert T. ~

Today, more and more of us are working more than one program. In some cases, a problem with food surfaces after we gain sobriety from alcohol or other drugs. Or it could be work addiction, sex addiction, gambling, or addiction to excitement. Often, we need to work an Al-Anon program along with an AA, NA, CA, or OA program.

Those of us who work several programs know the benefits and great healing power that can be unleashed. Sometimes we find the programs working together. We find a common ground. Other times, we find different programs addressing different needs. All our programs, though, stress communion with our spirituality and a Higher Power.

We are grateful today for the vast number of Twelve Step programs that help us heal our addiction or addictions. And we are grateful to find the people we need, as well as the opportunity to share our own experience, strength, and hope.

Today I thank You for showing me that more than one program is a sign of strength and quality of recovery, rather than weakness or shame. I’m grateful for the variety of help that is available.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

The Crow and the Pitcher

A crow dying of thirst came upon a pitcher that had once been full of water. He shoved his beak into the pitcher and discovered that there was very little water left. But he was determined to get it.

Time and again he thrust his beak into the pitcher, but could not reach the water. He was about to drop dead from both thirst and despair when he spotted a pile of pebbles nearby.

The crow picked up one in his beak, and dropped it into the pitcher. He took another, and did the same. Each time he dropped a pebble into the pitcher, he noticed that the water level rose slightly. Energized by this discovery, he continued his efforts until the water level rose to where he could reach it.

Then the crow drank the water, which saved his life.

The moral of the story: Small actions can have big results.

Recovery is a process that involves taking small steps, but sometimes progress is hard to see. At such times, take heart. Resist the temptation to give up. Instead, trust that your steady and dedicated effort is taking you ever closer to your goal.

There will be great leaps in my recovery, and there will be baby steps. I will trust that everything I do is serving a useful purpose in my progress.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

I wish to live without hate, whim, jealousy, envy, fear. I wish to be simple, honest, frank, natural, clean in mind and clean in body . . . to face any obstacle and meet every difficulty unabashed and unafraid.

~ Elbert Hubbard ~

Growing up, we learned there were many places to make wishes: the first star, a well, candles on a birthday cake. We saw Dorothy return from Oz after she wished she were back home. Fairy tales taught us wishes can come true.

We don't have to stop wishing, even though many of our wishes never came true. We may have wished for the impossible when we said: "l wish things would get better at home." But we may have gotten our way we said: "l wish this pain would end." Our dreams came true with the program.

Our best wishes can be about ourselves and the lives we want to have. We can wish for riches and find friends with hearts of gold. We can wish for comfort and health, and get a night o[ uninterrupted sleep. Whatever we wish for, we can receive.

I can read tonight's quotation aloud and apply it to my life. This powerful affirmation can help me tonight and every night.

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Being different

Some of us feel so different that we think no person or group could help us or even understand us. We feel alone and isolated. Whatever these differences are they can be lessened by concentrating on the purpose common to us all: we are learning to live a life free of alcohol or other drugs by connecting with a power greater than ourselves.

Our Higher Power does not want us to be alone. It would help if we would accept that we are all more alike than different. It would help if we could recognize the love that is available to us in our brothers and sisters. Are we looking for what we have in common, or are we looking for ways to be alone and different?

Do I realize that our common purpose can outweigh all differences?

Higher Power, help me feel connected by looking for what I share with my fellow members.

Today I will overlook all differences or look for what we share in

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

The net of Heaven has large meshes and yet nothing escapes it.

~ LAO-TZU ~

Newcomer

Step Six wants me to get rid of all my defects. I’m glad that I’ve quit using my drug of choice, but I don’t know if I’ll be able to get rid of all my defects.

Sponsor

Step Six, “Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character,” is often misunderstood.

This Step doesn’t say that we ought to try to remove certain traits on our own. Instead, it requires willingness, the same willingness which brought us to recovery. Step Six asks us to surrender, to allow our Higher Power to re-move our defects.

Does this mean that we say a prayer tonight, and tomorrow we will find that fear, resentment, grandiosity, low self-esteem, or whatever else we wish were different about ourselves has been lifted? It seems unreasonable that our resistance to such thorough change is going to evaporate overnight. In recovery, we’ve begun to experience what a gradual process is like. As long as we remain committed to recovery and willing to cooperate with opportunities for growth, we’ll continue to undergo changes in our character.

Today, I trust that my spirit is capable of continuing to grow. I’m willing to cooperate with the process of change.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

Out in the world we brush elbows with men, but in solitude we learn intimately about God and ourselves. Great truths are only born in solitary thought, never in crowded auditoriums.

God has some work to be done that only you can do. You have some problems that only He can solve. Why not sit down together sometime, just you two, and talk it over.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

WEDDING BLESSING

All knowing spirit, Higher Power, join us in this ceremony binding the lives of these two people. We ask a blessing on this couple, on their marriage, and on the life they will lead together. As they speak and we hear the words that will forever join them, allow the intentions being uttered to remain. true through time and to run as deep as a singing river throughout the landscape of their lives.

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

MENTAL ASSENT

When you give your mental assent to any idea, good or bad, you associate yourself with that idea and you incorporate it into your consciousness−to the extent that you realize it. When you read a passage of Scripture you will, if you assent to it mentally, incorporate it into your life to that extent.

This law, of course, works the other way too. If when you hear or read of some piece of injustice or cruelty, you approve it mentally by thinking that "it serves him right," you are associating yourself with that deed, and making it a part of your own life, even though you do not speak a word. It is the mental assent that counts.

Give your assent only to Truth.

For I delight in the law of God after the inward man: But I see another law in my numbers, warring against the law of my mind, and bringing me into captivity. . . . So then with the mind I myself serve the law of God . . . (Romans 7:22, 23, 25).

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Could Be Your Ring

To get thine ends, lay bashfulness aside; who fears to ask, doth teach to be deny'd.

~ Thomas Herrick ~

At summer camp, I developed an industrial-strength crush on a girl named Roberta Horn. Roberta was pretty, sweet, and friendly, and when I stepped within ten feet of her, my heart quickened and my stomach did flip-flops. I talked to Roberta a few times and once, when we went roller skating, I got to hold her hand. (l didn't wash it for a week.) At the age of 15, I was too nervous to approach her since I knew that someone as beautiful and wonderful as she would never be interested in someone as weird as I was. Several years later, I saw Roberta and she showed me her hand again, this time with an engagement ring on it. By that time, I had developed some courage, and I told her about the crush I had felt.

"I had a crush on you, too," she told me, "but I didn't think you liked me very much." Whoa. "Funny, huh?" she waxed philosophical. "Who knows? lf either of us had been more honest, this might have been your ring on my hand." While the pain of missing out on a potentially wonderful relationship shot through me like an arrow, the lesson was a gift. It was a primer in telling the truth even when it's scary. I learned that asking for what you want is a prerequisite for getting it.

If you feel a deep resonance with a person, whether in romance, friendship, creativity, business, or the spiritual path, it is likely that person feels the same way. Be honest about your enthusiasm, and take a step in that direction. Even if you get a "no," you will have the satisfaction of being true to yourself and knowing that you honored your feelings. In the long run, you will do better by voicing your intuitions rather than hiding them.

Give me the courage to act on my inspirations. Help me put Your visions into action.

The good I seek is seeking me.

June 16

Step by Step

" ...'Faith without works is dead.' ...We have made a list of all persons we have harmed and to whom we are willing to make amends. We made it when we took inventory. We subjected ourselves to a drastic self-appraisal. Now we go out to our fellows and repair the damage done in the past. We attempt to sweep away the debris which has accumulated out of our effort to live on self-will and run the show. If we haven't the will to do this, we ask until it comes. Remember it was agreed at the beginning we would go to any lengths for victory over alcohol." - Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, Ch 6 ("Into Action"), p 76.

Today, to what lengths will I go for "victory over alcohol" or reconciling myself to the injuries I inflicted on others during my drinking days? The Eighth and Ninth Steps tell us to surrender with absolute humility by asking our higher power for the strength and courage to do His will, not ours, and facing and apologizing to the victims of the damage we inflicted. That we might not be willing to make amends to someone does not give us an easy out. We must continue to ask for the will to do so "until it comes." In making amends that are required, we may be accomplishing more than taking responsibility for the damage we caused. We finally can be done with the guilt, shame and regret we have carried and reconcile ourselves to the sickness of our spirit. And in doing so, we can start to heal. How far will I go for "victory over alcohol?" Today, any length. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

GOOD PEOPLE

I sought my soul, but my soul I could not see; I sought my God, but my God eluded me; I sought my brother, and I found all three.

~ Anonymous ~

The Fellowship is filled with good people. We meet men and women who have suffered greatly as a result of their addiction. Sometimes we have to talk with them to find the goodness underneath their many layers of scars. Before finding the Program, these men and women, like us, had never been able to find what they were looking for in life.

We were looking for love in all the wrong places. It was truly painful to be out of touch with our soul arid to have no conscious contact with our Higher Power. This was the source of most of our pain. We know this because it is now the source of all our peace, joy, and serenity.

I can remember the moment I found my soul and my Higher Power. After all the searching outside myself, I found them deep within me.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

Loss is another word for change.

~ M. Taring ~

We don’t always realize how loss and grief are natural parts of life. Every change contains a loss within it. If we get a job promotion, we lose some elements of our work that are familiar and maybe enjoyable. If we get married, we lose the independence of the single life. If we choose recovery, we lose the friends we had in our addiction and codependency. And, of course, when we lose a loved one, the changes that follow are never chosen, but they may actually lead us toward new possibilities.

Surprisingly, every loss, every grief, has embedded within it the gift of a new beginning. In the midst of our losses, we can seldom see the gift. We don’t want to lose what we love. And grief is a necessary part of letting go. Grief is the wail of pain that comes when we know we must let go. And then life goes on. There is life after loss! It is a changed life. Perhaps nothing will ever be the same as it was. But it can become a new stage of our life, deeper and richer, even though we never could have imagined it.

Today I embrace change, even knowing it means some loss.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

Don’t dismiss your feelings, however painful.
They won’t last forever.

~ Abby Warman ~

Our feelings signal our thoughts. We have often said, “I feel depressed or angry or lonely or insecure, but I don’t know why.” It’s not actually true that we don’t know why. But we aren’t always eager to take responsibility for our feelings, because when we do, we also have to take charge of changing them if we don’t like them.

Twelve Step programs teach us that our thoughts always precede our feelings. This means that we think what we want to think; therefore, we feel what we want to feel. Thus we must acknowledge our feelings in order to adjust the thoughts that influenced them.

It’s really not that difficult to change our thinking. It seems hard only if we haven’t practiced much. The joy is that our feelings will follow. Painful feelings indicate painful thoughts. Joyful feelings follow the same pattern.

My feelings today are my indicator of what I’m thinking. It’s up to me how I spend these hours.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I want to feel less angry

I feel angry much of the time these days. Nothing pleases me and everything seems to set me off. I feel tired and tense. i feel guilty and angry at myself. Is this just part of recovery?

After my support group confronted me about this, my counselor followed up with a technique to help me adjust my perspective. For example, when I feel my anger building, perhaps I can limit it by saying to myself: "l am feeling a great deal of anger lately," or by gently reminding myself, "I am especially sensitive to change these days." Or, instead of thinking in black and white, for instance‒"My treatment program isn't working"‒I might rephrase the thought as, "I'm not feeling as good right now as I expected to." I think this strategy works. I am more relaxed already.

I will pick one problem that is troubling me today and rephrase it to make room for some acceptance.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

Consider the little mouse, how sagacious an animal it is which never entrusts its life to one hole only.

~ Plautus ~

Active addiction left us unable to create an even flow of events. Even now, when we strike a balance, we feel old urges to engage in unhealthy, irresponsible living. Over time these urges fade, but it’s still a dangerous time for many. We unwittingly seek to recreate the old familiar life because it’s comfortable and seems most natural to us. To guard against this, we need to maintain our desire for steady, serene recovery.

If we can punctuate our days with a manageable routine, we will enjoy greater stability. We can begin the day with a quiet time for prayer or meditation, include healthy meal plans, set time aside for exercise, work, school, or family, and stay in contact with others who share our recovery. The routines of good rest, exercise, regular meal times, prayer, and meetings are the skeleton on which the body of our recovery program can grow. Each of these activities is a reward in itself, and serves to remind us of what our new lives have to offer.

Today help me enjoy my regular schedule of activities as gifts to myself.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

Love and fear. Everything the father of a family says must inspire one or the other.

~ Joseph Joubert ~

When you were growing up, your father may have been someone you feared or someone who provided you with great comfort. He may have been there for you when you really needed him, or he may have been so caught up in his own addiction or overly devoted to things outside of the home that he had little time to spend with you.

While parents can be some of the greatest influencers in life, they are—just like you—imperfect human beings. They are on a journey of discovery to find out who they are as an adult and who they need to be as a parent. They must tend to their own growth as well as to the growth of their children. Sometimes parents succeed in these endeavors—and sometimes they fail.

No matter how you feel about your father, it is far better to forgive him for his failures or shortcomings than to hold onto anger or sadness. It is far better to give credit for those things he was able to give you rather than regret that you did not get everything you wanted from him.

Today I will think about my father with compassion and understanding.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

Love comes unseen; we only see it go.

~ Austin Dobson ~

How often are we blind to love shown us by others? Yet we are always aware when love is taken from us. Suddenly we feel helpless, alone, rejected, and full of despair. "No one will ever love me again!" we may cry. Yet all around us are loving people, ready to give their support.

If we only equate love with a sexual relationship, we will never see love's beauty. Love comes in so many forms and from so many people. When we experience the loss of a love, we may believe we have lost all the love that will ever be shown to us.

Love is more than Valentine's Day and passion and giddy feelings of ecstasy. When we desire love in that form, we are like addicts craving a drug. The effects are blissful, but they are only temporary. Love that lasts, that stays with patience and strength, is the love that binds all of humanity. It is what makes us smile at a stranger, it’s what makes long-term friendships, it’s what makes us feel pain, as well as joy. Love is the connection we have with every person in our lives.

Tonight, I feel the love I have for others and the love they have for me. I can learn to see the love that exists all around me.

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Taking off the masks

We’re not much different from other people (except that we couldn’t stop abusing mood- altering chemicals). Like other people, we, too, wear masks. We’re afraid that others will find out who we really are, especially since we no longer hide behind chemicals.

But if we work the program, we will get stronger. If we work the program, we won’t need our masks because we will accept our-selves (and others) more.

Can I stop wearing my masks?

Higher Power, help me work the Steps and to accept myself and my recovery.

Today I will practice treating myself well. I will practice being myself with

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

You never find yourself until you face the truth.

~ PEARL BAILEY ~

Newcomer

Step Six doesn’t seem like anything I need to spend much time doing. I’ve always wanted to get over my shortcomings. I don’t think much soul-searching is required.

Sponsor

There’s a reason that Step Six includes the word “entirely” in “Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.” Taking this Step requires a measure of thoroughness and honesty beyond even what we asked of ourselves in Steps Four and Five. We go deeper, not simply admitting the impact of our behavior. We try to determine whether certain undesirable behaviors have somehow served a positive function in our lives that make us reluctant to let go of them permanently. For example, an addictive substance or behavior may have made social life or work easier for us for a time. Though we don’t want to return to the addiction, we may be convinced that we can’t relate successfully to others or accomplish anything worthwhile in the world without it.

Or perhaps there’s something we’ve done repeatedly that makes us feel guilty and reinforces a sense of shame. Unpleasant as it feels, we’re used to it; it makes us recognizable to ourselves and maintains the status quo in our relationships. We may fear that if we let go of it completely, the self we know and depend on will die. Taking time for Step Six can help us become willing to let go.

Today, I trust that I am whole without my old, unproductive attitudes and behaviors.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

We alcoholics are in all things extremists. We either overindulge or we must abstain entirely. Drinking is not the only field however, when this characteristics is noticeable−it exists even in the way we practice our AA.

Many of us who thought nothing of paying ten or even twenty dollars a quart for liquor in Prohibition days, feel that we are more than generous when we drop a quarter in the basket on meeting nights.

Probably if we all loosened up a little more, our Committees would be able to do those things that we now criticize them for not doing.

A cheap brand of AA is no bargain.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

I am a child of God
In God I live and move and have my being
So I have no fear
I am surrounded by the peace of God
And all is well
I am not afraid of people‒
I am not afraid of things‒
I am not afraid of circumstances‒
I am not afraid of sickness
For God is with me
The peace of God fills my soul
And I have no fear.

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

EVER-PRESENT HELP

Resignation in defeat is really a sin.

If an old problem continues to stick−pray for inspiration and intelligence. Stop struggling and thank God constantly for setting you free.

If nervous or frightened-throw the responsibility on God, and tell Him that you know you are safe in His hands.

If someone is being troublesome−see only the Presence of God where the troublesome person seems to be.

If you want to make faster progress-claim understanding and affirm that divine love is working through you.

Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you (1 Peter 5:7 ).

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

The Margin of Greatness

Ride on! Rough-shod if need be, smooth-shod if that will do, but ride on! Ride on over all obstacles, and win the race!

~ Charles Dickens ~

!n major league baseball, a batting average of .250 is respectable. If a player with this average is also a decent fielder, he can expect a secure and lengthy career. If a player hits .300, he is a star. He will receive multimillion-dollar contracts, you will see his face on shaving cream commercials, and his baseball card will be pricey. Consider the difference between an average player and a star: a .250 average means 5 hits out of 20; a .300 average is 6 hits out of 20. The margin of greatness is but one hit out of 20!

Sometimes just a little extra effort is all we need to put us over the edge to huge success. In your career, family, or spiritual path, try to stretch beyond your perceived limits. A little extra patience with a customer could make her a lifetime client and bring you her friends' business. A seminar participant told me that she signed up to an intensive workshop simply because I had responded to a letter she had written me. An extra kind touch, one more deep breath, or a willingness to listen could make the difference between a modest salary and a million-dollar contract, or a life of mere survival and a glorious adventure.

Move me to be all I can be. I don't want to simply glow; I want to shine. Help me fulfill my highest potential today.

Today I go beyond anything I have done before.
I am willing to be great.

June 17

Step by Step

"Your job now is to be at the place where you may be of maximum helpfulness to others, so never hesitate to go anywhere if you can be helpful. You should not hesitate to visit the most sordid spot on earth on such an errand. Keep on the firing line of life with these motives and God will keep you unharmed." - Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, Ch 7 ("Working With Others"), p 102.

The Program's marching orders.

Today, how willing am I to set out with the message when called upon? Am I willing to sacrifice a quiet night at home after a rough work day if I get a call to go to the home of someone still drinking? Am I willing to drive to the opposite end of the state to get someone admitted to a treatment center or hospital? Am I willing to pop for the check to feed someone who's been on a days-long drunk without eating? Am I willing to shelter the homeless sufferer one night before I can get him to doctor? Am I willing to talk to someone still drinking and put myself in his shoes, remembering I was once where he is now? Can I listen and advise without moral judgments or scare him away with benefits of the program? If called upon to do anything that carries the message, like subbing at the last minute for a pre-scheduled meeting speaker who didn't show, will I step up? If any of my answers is "no," I have let the program, myself and other alcoholics down, and I have neglected my responsibility to carry the message. Today, let me prioritize the command to carry the message. Let me remember that I once was the one in desperate need. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

CONFIDENCE

I want, by understanding myself, to understand others. I want to be all that I am capable of being.

~ Katherine Mansfield ~

We cannot make our life worth living until we have faith in our freedom of choice. This is the basis of confidence, the one asset that guarantees us success in what we have come to believe. Our Program warns us that we cannot achieve if we fear our ability to learn and to grow. Our primary confidence is in ourselves. This is a great step away from the feeling of failure I’ve had in the depths of addiction.

We build self-confidence by working toward who we want to be. Each Step takes us closer to that person. The closer we get, the more confidence we have that the Program works for us.

My self-confidence is growing because I want to be all I can be.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

A word from the heart goes straight to the heart.

~ Abbe Huvelin ~

When we have something important to tell someone, we may feel afraid of how it will be received. Or when a friend experiences a tragedy, we may wonder what to say: this kind of situation can throw us into retreat mode and leave us silent. Or maybe we carry secrets we wish we could share, but we don’t dare to speak. It’s reassuring to recall the times when people have said important things to us. Their sincerity always meant more than any particular words they used.

Our message always contains more than just words. The very fact that we let someone into our confidence is a compliment. The fact that we care enough to show our feelings is a message of trust. When we give that kind of compliment to someone, we have a right to expect it to be treated gently, as a gift.

Today, in my personal relationships, I will speak from my heart.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

Anger is a signal that a boundary has been crossed.

~ Niro Asistent ~

We don’t always recognize where our boundaries or limits are. We may be unaware of others’ boundaries too. In either case, our desire to please or control others can cloud our understanding.

Not having a clear sense of self-definition is common among women who are dependent on alcohol or other drugs. Most of us develop a dependence on other people too. Because we simply want to be accepted by others, we may mimic the behavior and beliefs of those around us and unconsciously cross the boundaries that separate us. We are frequently surprised by the anger that results.

It takes effort to define who we are and who we want to be. Watching what others do, how they respond, and then asking ourselves to follow our personal guide will educate us, on the spot, about who we really are, separate from the others around us.

I will know who I am, separate from others, if I thoughtfully ask my Higher Power to help me feel my differences.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I am slowing down

I used to feel so rushed. I used to feel everything had to be done now. For instance, my problems must go away now. I want what I want now. Street drugs made me less anxious and frustrated, but they left me with an addiction to recover from.

Although I am in recovery from both addiction and a psychiatric illness, I am still impatient at times. But it’s getting better. For instance, these days I practice walking slower and driving slower. I try not to rush through a meal (especially when I am eating alone). Even the way I think is calmer. I am seeing for myself that how I do something‒carefully, thoughtfully, completely‒can often be more important than what I do.

I will take a five-minute break sometime today and practice breathing deeply and slowly.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

We like someone because, we love someone although.

~ Henry de Montherlant ~

In recovery, we are learning that the people in our group love us “in spite of’ what we often think of ourselves. Before, we may never have felt we could be liked for who we really were. We were always changing to fit what we thought people wanted. We tried to please others. We put on “false selves.” We hid behind what we thought others wanted. We ended up unhappy and made others unhappy in the process. Now we understand that people in our group may not like every aspect of our character, but they like us. Our sharing of these experiences becomes a strong, common bond.

We all have defects we must work on, and there is no better place to do it than in the fellowship of caring friends who understand the pain and suffering that come with the territory. And the care and generosity of our Higher Power and our sponsor help us love and forgive ourselves. God’s hand is on our shoulder, ready to lead us down the road to a more peaceful life.

Today let me do one special thing out of respect for myself.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

Nobody wants their problems solved. Their dramas. Their distractions. . . . Their messes cleaned up. Because what would they have left? Just the big scary unknown.

~ Chuck Palahniuk ~

Do you live your life as a fire setter, a fire fighter, or a fire preventer?

When you are a fire setter, you simply cannot live without having some sort of drama going on. When you are a fire fighter, you are someone who thrives on being needed and who enjoys trying to resolve an issue or a problem. When you are a fire preventer, you live in a constant state of fear that chaos or disagreement will be sparked, and so you devote your energy to doing everything you can to ensure fires can be kept to a minimum.

No matter which group of fire bugs you identify with, all share one thing in common. They provide distractions that keep you from doing the things you need to do in your life. You are like someone who pulls a fire alarm before a big test is handed out, expecting that activating the alarm will cancel the test. But once a false alarm is declared and the students and teachers return to the classroom, the test will be given. Pulling the alarm has only delayed what has to be faced.

Today I will pay attention to the things I need to do—and just do them!

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

When you want to hurry something, that means you no longer care about it and want to get on to other things.

~ Robert M. Pirsig ~

At times we may feel pressured to accomplish certain things in a short period of time. We may find ourselves rushing through activities aimlessly, operating under some kind of invisible deadline. Or we may be looking forward to future events and wish the present would hurry up and end.

Now is the time to slow ourselves down. Like a swimmer before a race, we can take time to breathe deeply, relax our tense muscles, and test the waters before we take the plunge.

We can use Let Go and Let God, Easy Does It, and Keep it Simple as our guidelines. As we let these slogans relax us, we can get a clearer picture about the reasons for our hurrying. By examining these reasons, we can then determine what activities we really need to work on-at a much slower pace.

What slogans will help me relax my hustle-bustle pace?

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Growing stronger

We are just one drink, pill, or fix away from relapse. But each day of abstinence makes us stronger. And over time, as we strive for spiritual progress, we become familiar with our resistances and our strengths.

Ralph Waldo Emerson wrote that “this kind of person increases his skill and strength and learns the favorable moments and the favorable accidents. He is his own apprentice, and more time gives a great addition of power, just as a falling body acquires momentum with every foot of the fall.”

Is my recovery growing steadier and stronger?

Higher Power, may my striving for spiritual growth bring self-understanding and strength to my recovery.

I will strengthen my recovery today by

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

All human nature vigorously resists grace because grace changes us and the change is painful.

~ FLANNERY O'CONNOR ~

Newcomer

Is there a particular action involved in taking Step Six?

Sponsor

One of the gifts of Step Six is that it helps me to remember that I’m not recovering on my own. I’ve let go of the mis-taken belief that I depend only on my own will and intellect. Step Six reminds me that a Power greater than myself can restore me to wholeness and health. As the process continues, I go within and find the willingness both to ask for guidance and to accept it.

The action of Step Six is the action of humility and of faith. It requires that we come to terms with our inability to solve problems on our own. It parallels Step Two, another step of preparation: before we made the decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of a Higher Power for restoration and healing, we had come to see and accept the possibility of that restoration. We trusted that wholeness was possible for us again, and that a Power greater than ourselves could accomplish it.

Today, I trust my Higher Power to be with me, wherever I am.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

We alcoholics are obstinate people. We drank all the more because people told us we couldn’t; when they said we were drunken sots and were hopeless−then we quit.

Man’s relationship to the mule is very close.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

KINDNESS PRAYER

Keep us, O God, from closed mindedness; let us
Be large in thought, in word, in deed.
Let us be done with faultfinding, and
Leave of f self-seeking.
May we put away all pretense and
Meet each other face-to-face, without
Self-pity and without prejudice.
May we never be hasty in our judgment
And be always generous and helpful.
Teach us to put into action our better
Impulses, straightforward and unafraid.
Let us take time for the right things. Make us
Grow calm, serene, and gentle.
Grant that we may realize it is the
Little things that create difference,
That in the big things in life we are one.
And may we strive to touch and know
The great common heart of us all;
And O God, let us not forget to be kind.

*************************************************

~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

RAISE THE SHADES

We do not have to create good. We do not have to persuade God to be Love, or Life, or Truth, or Intelligence. We do not have to ask Him to remember us. We could not ask for any good. Fundamentally, evil is a false belief about the power and availability of good.

If we draw down the shades in every room in a house, that house will be in darkness, and is likely to become damp and unhealthy as well, no matter how brightly the sun may be shining outside. Salvation consists in raising these shades and opening the windows−then He does the rest.

. . . walk as children of light (Ephesians 5:8).

**************************************************

~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

There You Are

Wherever you go, there you are.

~ Anonymous ~

My friend Gil left his lucrative practice as an electrician in southern California to move to a remote jungle section of Maui where he rents a tiny ramshackle cabin for a hundred dollars a month and collects unemployment. Gil did some electrical work for me because he needed the income to pay his phone bill. "But I thought you lived out in the jungle?" I questioned him.

"I do, but I have this massive addiction to talking to people on my computer."

"You have a computer in your shack?"

"l ran a line through the bush and got a state-of-the-art computer. But then I got into trouble. I was totally compulsive about communicating with people all around the world, and I ran my phone bill up to $900. I told the phone company to cut me off—it was unmanageable. This was no mild addiction; I was mainlining—they might as well have just wired the phone line into me intravenously. I could escape L.A., but I couldn't escape myself."

Geographical cures rarely work. You can extricate yourself from a place, but you cannot escape your own thoughts. Move somewhere to get away from an uncomfortable situation, and you will likely recreate the drama with a new set of actors playing the same roles. Heal your mind, and you are free anywhere.

Dr. Michael Ryce teaches a seminar called Why Is This Happening to Me Again? "You leave New York to get away from a painful relationship," Dr. Ryce illustrates, "and the person who picks you up at the airport in Los Angeles completes the sentence the person in New York began."

Our first and foremost responsibility is to face ourselves and heal our minds and hearts. Then we may go anywhere and live in peace.

I pray to be unafraid to look within and find the light I am.

I create my world with my consciousness. I choose to live in peace.

June 18

Step by Step

" ...I am deeply convinced that so long as I continue to strive, in my bumbling way, toward the principles I first encountered in the earlier chapters of this book, this remarkable power will continue to flow through me. What is this power? With my AA friends, all I can say is that it's a power greater than myself. If pressed further, all I can do is follow the psalmist who said it long, long before me: 'Be still, and know that I am God.'" - Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, Ch 16 ("Me an Alcoholic?"), p 437.

Today, if I am skeptical about a power stronger than myself, grant me the courage to let go of what I know to be stronger than me - alcohol - and go on blind faith that the program's principles will lead me to that greater power for good. It is the course followed by agnostics and those who rejected the label "alcoholic." In our private journeys, we fin the strength and courage to strive toward the program's principles until their skepticism is displaced by belief in that power of good which is stronger than any of us. Today, despite any reluctance to surrender to that stronger power, I will move on with the faith that one day, I, too, will find and embrace my higher power. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M.

**************************************************

~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

EMOTIONAL STRESS

No man is an island, entire of itself; each is a piece of the continent, a part of the main. . . .

~ John Donne ~

When we find ourselves in the grip of emotional stress, we force ourselves to be outgoing, rather than retreating into isolation. The mind is a terrible place in which to live" Daydreams are fine, but they all too quickly turn into nightmares. Our minds magnify our emotions. Our minds tell us that we are more in love than we are, angrier than we are, happier than we are, and mostly, more miserable than we are. When we retreat into isolation, we become prey to stinking thinking.

There is no peace of mind when the mind is allowed to work its own way. We need people. We need the Fellowship. When people are hard to find, we use the phone. The best medicine we have for emotional stress is to become involved in service.

Stress can cause rue to hide inside myself, thinking no one else understands. I need to reach out instead, and share my feelings with others who can help.

**************************************************

~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

Life is a great big canvas, and you should throw all the paint on it you can.

~ Danny Kaye ~

Our recovery started because of unmanageability and loss of control. That was a very frightening state of life. However, if simply abstaining was our entire goal, we would become very suppressed and limited beings. Our need for caution and control would become pervasive in our lives. That is where a dry drunk is stuck. A successful and happy recovery brings freedom, peace of mind, and self-esteem. We learn how to relax and enjoy life to its fullest because we no longer have to be so concerned with control. We can release our deeper selves to engage freely in the wholesome and healthy pleasure of friendships, love and sex, family connections, good food, sports and recreation, and fulfilling work.

We don’t have to hold back our enthusiasm for life any longer. We are free to release our playfulness and take risks because we have a safe base in our Higher Power and our program. We can imagine trips we want to take, we can let our intuition speak to us, and we can dream of things we want to do and make plans to fulfill them.

Today I will paint freely on the canvas before me.

**************************************************

~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

We shouldn’t blame ourselves for not winning a marathon with our very first step.

~ Marie Lindquist ~

Perfection, as we define it, eludes us. Perhaps we’ve heard someone say that each of us is perfect as we are, but we don’t believe it. After all, most of us don’t measure up when we compare ourselves to other women. So how can we be perfect?

Unrealistic expectations pave the way for failure. Perhaps parents, teachers, or bosses had overly high expectations of us. The anxiety we felt at missing their mark may have taught us to feel incompetent. Sometimes we fear we’ll fail even before we begin a job, a game, or any new challenge.

It’s possible to come to believe that we are as good as we need to be. But it takes work. Our self-talk, meditation time, and prayers of gratitude for who we are can ease the struggle.

I am as God has ordered today. Doing my best is the perfect response to every situation.

**************************************************

~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

My health is important to me

For a long time I couldn’t let anyone know that I experience a psychiatric illness. It felt like a private scar. In taking medication each day I've sometimes felt weak and vulnerable. It reminds me that I truly have an illness, one that has been carefully diagnosed by a doctor, one that needs careful treatment.

But eventually I learned that I have a no-fault, biological illness. To recover from it, I need medication, just as do patients with diabetes or heart disease. Medication helps me learn how I need to change; it helps me to make change. Taking medication shows I have courage and commitment.

I will write out an affirmation that says, "I am a strong person. I am taking care of my health."

*************************************************

~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

In recovery, to learn how to forgive oneself is often more difficult than to forgive others.

~ Frank Fields ~

The Twelve Steps offer us a whole new spiritual attitude. They teach us how to develop a relationship with our Higher Power and how to identify specific obstacles in our path. Working the Steps moves us toward self-forgiveness. We take a look at ourselves and the past, and air all the shame, grief, and pain by admitting to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs. In this way we break our painful isolation.

Admitting our wrongs to another human being is perhaps the most difficult, but in the end the most liberating act. When someone else truly forgives us, we can begin to forgive ourselves. Through this process, we can begin to feel closer to our sponsor and to others around us, whether at work, home, or in our recovery program.

Today help me find forgiveness in my heart for myself, as well as for others.

**************************************************

~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

It is inevitable when one has great need of something one finds it. What you need you attract like a lover.

~ Gertrude Stein ~

Eons ago, hunter-gatherer societies ensured their survival through the roles each member fulfilled. Those who gathered procured seafood, roots, and edible vegetation; those who hunted, tracked, and killed animals. Each person played a significant role. When everyone worked together, the efforts of both hunters and gatherers ensured the health and well-being of the entire clan.

It is this same way in the fellowship of recovery. Each person plays a vital role in helping others feel that they are on the right path. You support others when they feel weak or tempted. They, in turn, do the same for you. You share your experience so that others can learn. They do the same.

It is the fellowship’s unity in abstinence that helps to strengthen each person’s commitment to recovery. Sometimes all it takes is one member of the fellowship falling off the wagon to tempt others to do the same. But even during those times, the jitters of one can be soothed by the others. You will be able to find whatever you need, whenever you need it, in the fellowship of recovery.

I am part of a wonderful fellowship that provides a strong foundation of support for all of its members.

**************************************************

~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

For the happiest life, days should be rigorously planned, nights left open to chance.

~ Mignon McLaughlin ~

How spontaneous are we? Are we more rigid people or more flexible? If our plans suddenly change, do we handle that easily or is it difficult for us? If we're more rigid, change is often difficult for us to deal with. We may feel anger, resentment, hurt, or sadness when a friend calls to cancel an engagement or something happens to interrupt our plans. We may find ourselves so rigid that we have difficulty going to a meeting and parking in a different space or sitting in a different seat.

Rigidity is built over time and so must be loosened up with time. Little changes in our patterns will help us deal with little changes in our lives. By gradually learning to accept smaller changes, we'll learn to deal with bigger ones. To become more flexible on a daily basis, we need to make slow and gentle changes. Over time, we'll learn to change from rigidity to spontaneity and flexibility.

I can make a small change in tomorrow's schedule. Each day I'll make a minor change to help develop flexibility.

**************************************************

~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Letting go of self-will

Self-will is what brought us to our knees. We must realize now that we can either make our will one with our Higher Power or we can remain separate. When we exercise un-controlled self-will, things crumble before us and often we find ourselves in the streets again. But this need not happen because now we know the difference; we have a choice.

When we let go and make our will one with our Higher Power’s, we have no trouble avoiding mood-altering chemicals.

Have I turned my will over?

I pray that I might let my will become one with my Higher Power.

Today I will let go of my self-will by

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

**************************************************

~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

What are we doing here? We’re reaching for the stars.

~ CHRISTA MCAULIFFE ~

Newcomer

There’s so much I’ve failed at, so much I haven’t done. I’ve missed out on certain opportunities forever. I know I have to make the best of what’s left, but sometimes I think, “What’s the use?”

Sponsor

Addictive episodes begin small: one drink, one compulsive bite, one unsecured debt. Recovery, too, begins with one simple act: walking into a meeting place, making a phone call, raising a hand. Single actions become habits and are part of the ongoing process of creating new selves.

We continue recovering a Step at a time, a day at a time. We don’t succumb to fatalism or to the belief that if we give up on ourselves, all will be taken care of. It’s no longer acceptable for us to drift; we have ideals and values to which we want to be true. The past is over, but not the opportunity for joy and fulfillment. We can continue to grow and develop at any age. Each of us has something of unique value to contribute, and it’s not too late to make a beginning today.

Today, I take one step in the direction of becoming the person I want to be.

**************************************************

~ THE EYE OPENER ~

Your life, like mine, has probably been a long series of wrongs committed against you. They probably number a thousand or more. How many still bother you? Only those you still remember. For your own happiness and peace of mind, forget them.

**************************************************

~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

ELEVENTH STEP MEETING OPENING PRAYER

God,
We come together to fulfill a call to community and
to nurture one another into Being.
To practice engaging in God within ourselves and
one another.
To share the way we live, love, struggle, and dare to
be, that this community will be inspiring to our-
selves and others.
We pray to vigilantly seek within ourselves a God
Presence that enables us to embrace our human-
ity and to step into the Spiritual Experience of
mindfully living fully, loving wastefully, and en-
tering courageously into the depths of Being.
We pray to be more adequately God-bearers‒a
source of life, love, and Being to others.
To be changed, opened, sensitized, and
compassionate.
To witness to one another the profound ways that
prayer and meditation have changed us.
To share the healing Power of God which is Love.
Our prayer is a conscious recognition that God is
Love, and God is a Power that calls us more
deeply into the mystery of Being and into a fuller
humanity.
We pray to know that we are in God, that God is in
us, that God heals, and that God alone fulfills our
shared longing.
We especially pray to know that God is our only
source.
We give thanks for our personal relationship
with God.
Amen.

*************************************************

~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

STEP BY STEP

When you are praying for your true place, it is well to remember that the full demonstration may not come in one move, but more likely after a series of stages.

Now, if you despise these intermediate steps, and think "this is a little better, but it is not really what I want," you will keep the demonstration back. Neither should you accept a small improvement as being all that you can hope to get. The scientific attitude is to see the stepping stone as stepping stone; to bless it, and give thanks for it, and to continue praying for the next step.

For precept must be upon precept . . . line upon line, here o little, and there a little (lsaiah 28:10).

**************************************************

~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

I Feel Your Peace

He that is in me is greater than he that is in the world.

~ Jesus Christ ~

When my mother passed away, I received many thoughtful expressions of sympathy. The message that touched me most deeply was one I received on my telephone answering machine from my friend Cisley. "I feel your peace," she lovingly affirmed. As soon as I heard her words, I felt peaceful and comforted.

When a friend or loved one is going through an emotionally stressful time, the greatest gift we can offer is an affirmation of their strength. True spiritual support consists of using a higher vision than fear would show us. We must pierce beyond appearances and recognize wholeness and strength. When we reflect our friend's power, we remind them (and ourselves) who we really are.

Let me be a messenger of strength. Remind me to use my thoughts and words to affirm the presence of God.

I behold perfection, and I bring healing. My vision illuminates God.

June 19

Step by Step

" ...(O)ur troubles, we think, are basically of our own making. They arise out of ourselves, and the alcoholic is an extreme example of self-will run riot, though he usually doesn't think so. Above everything, we alcoholics must be rid of this selfishness. We must, or it kills us!" - Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, Ch 5 ("How It Works"), p 62.

Today, believe and accept that my troubles are of my own creation and that selfishness is the binding tie. Before and during my drinking days, I ran my life on my terms, my rules, my wants, needs, expectations and desires. And always, the results were disastrous and, if I am to be thoroughly honest, grew progressively worse. To whom or what, then, do I entrust my life if I can't run it? Herein is the introduction to the concept of a higher power, an entity stronger than I, or God as we understand Him. And even if I do not or cannot yet believe in a higher power or God, my willingness to at least be open to the possibility is a beginning - toward humility. Today, I am open to the possibility that something higher and wiser than I can run my life better than me. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M.

**************************************************

~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

UNSELFISHNESS

Modesty and unselfishness ‒ these are the virtues which men praise.

~ Andre Maurois ~

We continually work toward unselfishness. To be unselfish is to be useful. When we are selfish, we are useless to others and to ourselves. By hoarding everything for ourselves, not only material things but even good, healthy thoughts and feelings, we are depriving not only others, but ourselves. Material things are cold and can’t return our love. Good thoughts and feelings will soon shrivel and die unless we pass them on to others.

The Twelfth Step tells us we must give away what we have to keep what we have gained. So we learn that it is impossible to give without receiving and equally impossible to receive without giving back. Always, giving brings rewards such as satisfaction and self-worth. This is "passing it on.”

I know that sharing increases good things, while selfishness decreases them.

**************************************************

~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

To have more, desire less.

~ Table Talk ~

So many of us are caught up in such a busy pace of life that we feel we don’t have time for the basic things like dinner with our family, time to talk to our intimate partner, or quiet time to unwind and reflect. What is the problem? Often the problem is that we are caught in a never-ending search for more material things than our income can comfortably afford. In modern life, we are daily subjected to well-crafted advertising that tells us we would be happy if we bought another alluring item. Turning aside from those seductions, deciding we can live more comfortably if we seek happiness else-where, frees us from that demanding cycle.

If we examine our desires, we will quickly recognize that we already have enough material goods. Happiness, gratitude, and peace of mind will come from the abundance of our relationships and the knowledge that we are the kind of men we hope to be. We can limit our desires for more goods and free ourselves from the feeling that we don’t have enough.

Today I will remind myself that I have enough. I am fateful for the abundance in my life.

**************************************************

~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

Only when I have the courage to risk revealing who I am in heart-to-heart communication can I honor both myself and another.

~ Mary Norton Gordon ~

When we hide who we really are, we can never trust that other people like us. We fear that if they knew all our parts, they’d reject or abandon us.

It’s not surprising that we struggle with this. Shame-based families taught us to hide our feelings, our thoughts, even our hopes and aspirations. Not letting others know us became a habit. Unfortunately, it taught us to feel shame even when no shame was necessary.

Breaking out of this pattern takes courage and willingness. What’s more, it takes constant practice. Only by repeatedly showing others who we really are and realizing that they don’t go away can we learn the joy inherent in honest, intimate communication. Twelve Step groups offer us a safe place for mastering this skill. What lucky women we are!

I am okay, all of me, and I’ll share who I am with friends today. Even the parts of me that need work can be shared safely.

**************************************************

~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I now that I need people

I used to think I didn't need people (except to sell me my drugs). But now that I'm clean and sober, I realize how lonely I've been. I realize how lost, scared, and empty I feel.

The truth is that I need people deeply. They are a part of my higher power. I know that I cannot recover from my dual disorder on my own. Through recovery meetings, both support group and Twelve Step, I trust that I can make friends. And I trust that some of them will help me in my recovery when I need them.

I will tell my group how grateful I am to them and ash them for their continued support.

*************************************************

~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

I still have had days.
But I don’t panic when I do.

~ Dan B. ~

For many of us, having a bad day is part of the process of getting better. A bad day doesn’t necessarily mean a slip or a return to drinking or using. It could mean being secretive, snapping at someone, being rude or grandiose, or feeling those “old feelings” again. We know what bad days are. And we will probably always have bad days. They’re part of life.

They are, however, not a sign that we are bad people or that we aren’t getting better. We are. For the most part, our lives are much better than they used to be. And an occasional bad day or series of bad days is often part of the healing process. We may even come to view a bad day as a challenge. By responding to the challenge, by choosing a healthy action or clearing up our anger before it turns to resentment, by turning more quickly to our sponsor and our Higher Power, we are growing. Bad days offer us something that good days don’t — the challenge to grow, to be honest, to turn things over — the chance to pick up and use the tools recovery has given us.

Today help me to remember that "bad days” aren’t the end of my recovery. They’re part of everyone’s life — recovering or not.

**************************************************

~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

Rejoice when the going gets tough, when everything turns mean. It is time to shout and clap our hands—if only in the privacy of our own minds.

~ Joyce Sequichie Hifler ~

Changing your life from use to dis-use does not hap-pen overnight. It is one thing to put down the drink and make the decision that you will no longer abuse your body. It is entirely another to live without the addiction.

Living without your addiction is where the work in recovery really begins. This work is all about adjustment: adjusting how you think and how you behave, adjusting your way of feeling, adjusting how you interact with others, and—ultimately—adjusting your way of living. The slogan “Easy does it” serves as a reminder to approach your recovery in a relaxed manner. It encourages you to be patient with the adjustments you need to make. It reminds you to be gentle with yourself and not to burden yourself or take on more than you can handle.

Whenever you remind yourself, “Easy does it,” you can transform the challenges you face from steep mountains into gently rolling hills. You can dry your tears of frustration. You can be filled with joy because you are where you need to be: on the road to recovery.

Today I will use “Easy does it” whenever I feel that I am trying to take on too much.

**************************************************

~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

The man who makes no mistakes lacks boldness and the spirit of adventure. He never tries anything new. He is a brake on the wheels of progress.

~ M. W. Larmour ~

"Progress, not perfection" is all the program asks of us. Yet our expectations to do everything the right way at the right time−and usually without asking for help−only lead to incredible disappointment and a sense of failure.

When Henry Ford made his first automobile, he forgot to make a reverse gear. Was that a failure? Not if we look at how his next car−the Model T−revolutionized the automobile industry. Ford learned from his mistake and used that knowledge to build something even better.

Tonight we're building something even better−ourselves. But we won't be able to make a perfect model, only a better one. To do so, we need to accept the fact that we're going to make mistakes along the way.

What mistakes have I made today that I can learn from tonight?

**************************************************

~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Doing the footwork

We often ask our Higher Power for spiritual assets without recognizing the work we need to do to get them. To grow strong, we must learn to carry burdens; to gain patience, we must learn to handle stress; to follow God’s will, we must become willing to let go. To be courageous, we must practice faith in the face of fear; to be right, we must learn to admit wrongs; to be loved, we must learn to be loving.

Our Higher Power gives us opportunities to grow. The footwork is up to us.

Am I doing my part?

Higher Power, help me to recognize, and do, my part in recovery.

Today I will do the footwork necessary to

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

**************************************************

~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

All happiness depends on a leisurely breakfast.

~ JOHN GUNTHER ~

Newcomer

I’m trying to make up for my years of self-centeredness; I want to give service to others in this fellowship and find time for friends and family. But it’s starting to feel as if I always have somewhere to go and something I’ve promised to do.

Sponsor

It doesn’t sound like you’re having much fun. While you may need to work on setting realistic goals and managing time, you’ve hit upon a deeper issue.

We don’t have to function at burnout level in order to be good human beings. A smile, a kind word, or simply saying “Thanks for what you shared” can sometimes be of more use to other people than trying to come up with solutions to their problems.

For some of us, overwork and over responsibility is a way of numbing ourselves. If all you’re doing is work, do you have the patience and spiritual energy to listen to what’s being said at meetings? Can you hear your own inner voice? Can you feel joy?

Today, I slow down and stop to look at the beauty around me and within me.

**************************************************

~ THE EYE OPENER ~

If you were asked to give a definition of the AA Program, you could probably come no closer than to say it is a Thinking Program.

Underlying the whole philosophy is a studied effort to change the mental fumbling of the alcoholic to real, profound, constructive thinking.

It was this type of thinking that inspired our movement, and because of the profound thought behind it, it developed the simplicity that makes it understandable to the befogged alcoholic and yet so profound as to confound the wise.

**************************************************

~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

PAUL D.’s PRAYER

We thank You, dear Lord, for giving us Bill and Dr. Bob and for Your divine guidance and direction in their creation of our Fellowship and Program.

We thank You, dear Lord, for Your blessings and protection of our Fellowship and our Program over the past sixty years and we pray, dear Lord, that You will continue to bless and protect our Fellowship and our Program of Alcoholics Anonymous, always.

We thank You, dear Lord, for the countless number of alcoholics for whom You have lifted the bonds of alcohol and allowed us to get sober, live sober lives, and die sober deaths.

We pray, dear Lord, that You will hear the prayers and the cry for help from the still sick and suffering alcoholics and send them to us.

We pray, dear Lord, that we remain forever humble and grateful and always worthy to receive and keep this precious gift of sobriety that You have bestowed upon us, and for all the benefits, gifts, and many, many blessings that we have received from the Program of Alcoholics Anonymous, we thank
You, dear Lord.

*************************************************

~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

PEACE, THE MIRACLE WORKER

Regeneration means building a new mentality; that is, creating a new soul in place of your present one. It does not mean merely improving your present self−it means producing (through the power of God, of course), a new self.

If you do this, everything else in your life will rapidly change for the better. Other people will become much more friendly to you. Because your soul will be filled with peace, you will radiate peace, and other people will get it intuitively. Everybody likes peace and harmony and they are attracted to any source from which it comes.

Naturally you cannot radiate peace if you do not first possess it within yourself. You cannot radiate anything from the outside. To radiate any quality, that quality must be within yourself.

True peace of mind is the short cut to regeneration. The Master said,

Peace I have with you, my peace I give unto you (John 14:27).

**************************************************

~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

In-Body Experiences

When Mahatma Gandhi was asked, “What do you think of Western civilization?," he answered, "I think it would be a very good idea."

While discussing the phenomenon of mysterious crop circles, my friend asked, "How do you think it would change life on our planet if extraterrestrials showed up?"

His question evoked another one from me: "How do you think would change life on the planet if human beings showed up?"

Many people on the spiritual path have spent a great deal of time trying to leave the planet. We are fascinated with near-death experiences, astral travel, transmigration of souls, and many other aspects of nonphysical reality. I am quite interested in all of these phenomena and have gained much from studying them. Yet many of us have become enamored with other worlds at the expense of this one. Yes, God is in the heavens and on the other side of life, but God is also here on earth. When someone asked me what percentage of my friends have had out- of-body experiences, I answered, "l know quite a few people who have yet to have an in-body experience."

The earth plane is a wonderful classroom to learn and master spiritual principles. Every truth of spirit is observable on earth. My favorite church is nature. As I observe the trees, animals, water, sky, sun, and moon, I find profound evidence of the Creator's majesty. I see God shining through the eyes of my loved ones, and I feel God's love in their embrace. Surely a loving God is not absent on earth, but very present.

Begin to look more closely at the way your body and earth life teach and bless you. The food you eat, the health and energy of your body, and the way your physical world plays out all contain valuable messages for spiritual growth. "On earth as it is in heaven."

Help me to find You everywhere. I open to Your gifts and teachings in my experience.

The spirit of truth speaks to me through all my senses.

June 20

Step by Step

"It was only a matter of being willing to believe in a Power greater than myself. Nothing more was required of me to make my beginning. I saw that growth could start from that point. Upon a foundation of complete willingness I might build what I saw ..." - Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, Ch 1 ("Bill's Story"), p 12.

Today, a leap of blind faith searching for a power greater than myself, if I am still struggling with the concept of a higher power. Just as I was warned repeatedly in my drinking days that my spouse or partner would leave me, that I would be fired if I showed up at work drunk again if I even showed up at all, or my next DUI would be elevated to a felony, AA's co-founders and early members warn that I absolutely must come to believe in something stronger and better than myself if I have a prayer for sobriety and recovery. In my drinking days, I didn't yield to many of the warnings, and the outcome that was promised because I didn't stop drinking became fact. Today, I yield to the warnings of the voices of experience and become at least willing to believe. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

FEAR

Fear is the darkroom where negatives are developed.

~ Anonymous ~

Fear haunts so many of us. Fear is behind all our resentments. It attacks us when we are alone and isolated. It can wreak havoc on us when we are by ourselves. We see only dark clouds over our heads; all appears hopeless and negative.

We have meetings because we do not face our fears alone. The Program is not a program of us talking to ourselves. We need the Fellowship and our fellow travelers.

When we overcome the fear of asking for help, the program will give us all the support we need. But the Fellowship is not composed of mind readers. We have to open our mouths and share our struggles. Remember, when we share experience, we, can also be sharing our troubles. We share problems as well as solutions.

My fears have a way of dissolving when I share them with my sponsor and fellow members.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

A great teacher never strives to explain his vision— he simply invites you to stand beside him and see for yourself.

~ Reverend R. Inman ~

In the spirit of our recovering fellowship, we are very cautious about advising anyone. Advice is only given when requested and even then with great care. Words of advice are so easily spoken but so often off target. We all find it easy to see what someone else should do, but the much harder task is to find insight into our own actions. So we focus on the harder and more helpful part, striving to live our lives as well as possible. We can grow by standing beside other successful recovering people and learning how they do it, and we can allow others to stand beside us to learn what they can.

A good example is always the best teacher. The wisest men are not sure their advice is useful to anyone. They just live their lives in ways that suit them, and others can take from it whatever is useful and leave the rest.

Today I will work on the harder task of deepening my insight into my own thoughts and actions.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

Things that happen aren’t necessarily good or had; they just fit into my plans, or they don’t.

~ Anne Arthur ~

Because we are certain we know what is best for us, we seldom let our Higher Power take responsibility for the circumstances that capture our attention. More often, we map out what we think should happen, then spend hours worrying when the unexpected occurs.

It is normal for us to want our lives to unfold according to our dreams. Maturity, however, means planning for today and tomorrow and remembering not to force control over situations that involve other people. And most of our experiences include other people.

Our growth in recovery can be measured by how quickly we let God take charge of our experiences and outcomes. By turning our plans over to God and acknowledging that greater plan, we signal our readiness for the serenity this program promises.

I am guaranteed a secure partnership with a Higher Power. If I rely on that partnership today, I will feel serene, and I will instinctively know that my plan and God’s are one and the same.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I am worried about quitting my meds

Since I've been on medication a while now, I am feeling much better. I'm stable, back at work, and feeling pretty relaxed. I attend meetings and therapy each week. So, these days, I sometimes wonder, Why take the meds anymore? They're expensive, inconvenient, and worst of all, they still cause me some side effects.

On the other hand, maybe I'd relapse if I stopped taking them. If I suddenly quit, perhaps I'd have a strong physiological reaction. Perhaps I'd even risk losing some of my progress. I know that recovery is my choice, but I can tell now that I'm too uncertain to make a rational decision on my own. I need professional guidance.

I will call my psychiatrist for advice and ask my higher power for wisdom and strength.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

Recovery is a journey, not a destination.

~ Program Saying ~

There is no single point we reach when we are “recovered,” when everything is all done and “in order.” It’s not that easy, nor should it be. Recovery is a process, a way of living that supports and revitalizes us physically, mentally, and spiritually. Recovery becomes the sum total of all our efforts and experiences. It signifies our efforts to change. It is driven by spirituality.

We’re not ill one day and recovered the next. No one book or concept will do it. It’s not an intellectual place or level of understanding. And it’s not affected by our age or depth of experience.

Recovery is something that is a part of us every day. We live it. Even during hard times, we know the process of change is happening. It gets better and easier, but it’s never really over. It’s a new life, and one we’re thankful for.

Today help me remember that recovery is a journey, not a destination.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

You have put me in here a cub, but I will come out roaring like a lion, and I will make all hell howl!

~ Carry Nation ~

Prisons take away freedom; so do cages in a zoo. Such enclosures are designed to decrease individuality and increase dependency and obedience. Your addiction can be viewed similarly; it is a jail that has kept you captive. It has prevented you from thinking about anything or anyone else. It has numbed your feelings. It has severed your ties to a spiritual presence. It has taken away your ability to make choices. And it has deprived you of all of life’s beauty and experiences.

Addiction enslaves you, but recovery liberates you. It opens up all of your senses so you can experience a wide range of sensations. It clears your mind so you can think both rationally and creatively. It opens your world to possibilities. It encourages you to dream. It increases your knowledge.

Addiction requires your obedience, but recovery releases you. With such freedom comes the ability to discover what is within you. It gives you the power to choose and to take action. And it expands your horizons in ways that will enable you to see that the only limitations you have today are those you create for yourself.

Today I will celebrate my freedom from addiction.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

Hope is the only bee that makes honey without flowers.

~ Robert Ingersoll ~

Hope is the invisible part of ourselves that can be the difference between getting somewhere and going nowhere. Hope is the extra set of muscles that allow us to carry on even though our legs can't support us any longer. Hope is the extra heartbeat that gives us positive energy when our senses can't feel, hear, or see beyond negativity. Hope is the nectar that restores health when our bodies feel old and broken-down.

The one thing everyone in the program has is hope. Hope keeps us sane and keeps us trying. For as long as we have hope, we'll always feel a candle burning within us that’s ready to light the world.

We increase our supply of hope every time we do something good, even when we don't want to. Hope is the extra push we give ourselves to quench rage, to bolster our reserves of patience, and to feel love when we find it difficult to feel. With hope in our lives, all else is possible.

Do I have hope tonight? Help me remain filled with hope about my life and the lives of those around me.

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Looking for beauty

It is important that we look for beauty. There are beautiful things in the world each and every day, if we only know how to see.

In recovery, in serenity, beauty is every-where—even in pain and suffering—if we only know how to see.

How good am I at seeing all the beauty there is to see?

Higher Power, help me to use my recovery, my new vision, to see beauty.

Today I will practice looking for beauty in

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

Healing is a matter of time, but it is sometimes also a matter of opportunity.

~ HIPPOCRATES ~

Newcomer

Hospital visits, funerals, and things like that have never been my favorites. They’re even harder for me now that I don’t have my addiction to help me through.

Sponsor

When I’m confronting a personal loss, whether it’s my own or someone else’s, I become aware of my feelings of grief. I still have a lot of grieving to go through.

When I felt loss and sadness in the past, I was over-whelmed. Inside, I was afraid my feelings would destroy me, and I turned to addictive substances and behaviors for protection. When I entered recovery, I gave up what had been, in effect, an anesthetic. At first, recovery itself made me feel almost euphoric—high. But when the excitement of early recovery wore off, I had to face losses I’d been denying for years. A deep sense of sadness from my past welled up in me. And now I had another loss to mourn, the loss of the addiction that I’d taken refuge in.

Whenever I experience a new loss, feelings about old ones rise to the surface. What helps, more than finding ways to avoid difficult feelings, is sitting with them and letting myself feel them. They won’t destroy me. They pass and make room for other feelings—when I’m not trying to ward off difficult feelings, happiness, too, seems to flow more freely into my life.

Today, I go through my feelings by letting them go through me.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

Centuries ago a man learned to ignite wood artificially. No one in the world today knows his name, but all modern inventions are directly or indirectly traceable to his act. What his name is doesn’t matter but every skyscraper in the world is his monument. His name perished as all names are apt to do, bust his almost juvenile act of starting fire by friction will live as long as civilization does.

A single word you utter might kindle a fire that would burn through the ages.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

NO STANDING STILL

Spirit of the Universe, never let me think that I have knowledge enough to need no teaching, wisdom enough to need no correction, talent enough to need no grace, goodness enough to need no progress, humility enough to need no repentance, devotion enough to need no inspiration, strength sufficient without Your Spirit; fearing, if I stand still, I will fall back for evermore.

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

THROUGH DEATH TO LIFE

Into the hand that made the rose,
shall I with trembling fall?

~ George Meredith ~

There is absolutely no reason to fear death. The same God is on the other side of the grave as on this side. However, most people do fear death, partly as fear of the unknown, and partly as the result of false teaching. Actually there is no death in the sense of extinction.

To understand death, you have to realize that you really possess not one body but two. You have not only the physical body, but also a second body made of a form of energy too fine to be seen. This etheric body interpenetrates the physical body as air fills a sponge. There are people who can see the etheric body because they have the power of contacting much finer vibrations than can be perceived by the ordinary physical senses.

It is this etheric body that is the repository of all your thoughts and feelings. It is the "psyche" of the psychologist. That is why personality survives death; because it resides in the etheric that passes over intact, and not in the physical that breaks up into decomposition.

During sleep, trance, and under anaesthesia, when the etheric may leave the physical body, it remains attached to it by an etheric ligament called in the Bible the Silver Cord. The cord is so elastic that the etheric body can go very long distances and still remain attached to the physical corpus.

Death is the severing of the Silver Cord. When the Silver Cord is severed, an individual falls into a state of unconsciousness that may last for minutes, days, or even weeks. Then he wakens as from sleep, and his new life has begun.

The next world is actually all around us here. The so-called dead are carrying on their lives here where we are now, but in their own world and in their own way. The reason we do not see them around us or collide with them is the same reason that one radio program does not interfere with another−they are on different wavelengths.

. . . though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: far thou art with me . . . (Psalm 23).

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Perfect as Usual

Miracles are natural.

~ A Course in Miracles ~

As my 11-year-old friend Tasha sat down to eat some noodles she had cooked for lunch, I asked her, "How did your noodles turn out"

Tasha smiled and answered, "Perfect—as usual"

Tasha's answer reminded me that perfection is our natural state. Life was intended to work perfectly; it does and it will. Those who attune their vision to behold perfection will find it, create more good, and enjoy it. Those whose sight is set on loss, victimization, and death will continually manifest those experiences.

Some psychologists did an experiment on children's attitudes. They took a child who was considered negative and unappreciative and placed him in a room with a collection of new toys. He played with each toy for a few minutes and then complained that he was bored. Then the scientists took a child described as positive and optimistic and put him in a room with a huge pile of horse manure. Soon he smiled and exclaimed, "This is great!"

"Why is that?" one of the researchers asked him.

Quickly he answered, "There must be a pony somewhere!"

Miracles, perfection, healing, and happiness are not elusive and remote conditions. They represent our natural state, given as our birthright from God. We were not born to suffer; we were born to be happy. To find and live the truth, we must reverse the "laws" taught by the world. lf something can go right, it will. Death and taxes are not sure things. The purpose of relationships is love. To find the good is not Pollyanna; it is the only way that works.

Experiment for a day, week, month, year, or lifetime by claiming, "Perfect as usual," and refuse to settle for less. The life available to you is far greater than the one we have accepted.

Help me remember that I deserve love. Show me the world You intended for me to enjoy.

I live in a world of good. I claim perfection now.

June 21

Step by Step

"The wars which had been fought, the burnings and chicanery that religious dispute had facilitated, made me sick. I honestly doubted whether, on balance, the religions of mankind had done any good. Judging from what I had seen in Europe and since, the power of God in human affairs was negligible, the Brotherhood of Man a grim jest. If there was a Devil, he seemed the Boss Universal, and he certainly had me." - Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, Ch 1 ("Bill's Story"), p 11.

Today, do not reject the possibility that a higher power of good can exist despite all the bad - even evil - that we see every day. Cynicism may block willingness to believe that something stronger and better than ourselves can exist to set us toward sobriety and recovery. Perhaps a beginning is to understand the distinction between religion and spirituality and that the two are parallel but never intersect. We are not ask to believe in any religious code but come to find a higher power of our understanding. How do we reconcile the bad that surrounds us, including wars and all other affairs? If we can accept that one of our most precious collective gifts is the freedom of choice, is it not plausible that the state of man is a direct consequence of our choices individually and collectively? If so, cannot what is bad around us be the consequence of our self-will run riot and not because of a punitive god? Today, I set out to find my higher power of my understanding, not of man's religious concept. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

THE RECOVERING YOUNG

The Program is a school in which we are all learners and all teachers regardless of age.

~ Anonymous ~

The younger generation in the program embrace the Program with enthusiasm that can only be attributed to the young. And, of course, abstinence is never wasted on anyone, let alone young people whose whole lives are in front of them.

Today, a larger percentage of young men and women are flooding recovery units and meeting hails. Although older members may have long abstinence, they are often bested by the eagerness the young devote to working their Program. Many who are new to recovery ask the same question: "What will I do with all my time now that I've stopped using?” Young people learn that service work and sober activities with fellow members keep them busy.

I know the future of our Program is secure because of the many good young people who are working it.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

Do not let a little dispute injure a great friendship.

~ H. Jackson Brown Jr. ~

There are many kinds of friends. Some are work friends; we enjoy knowing each other and doing our jobs but don’t ever get very personal. We have recreational friends with whom we enjoy doing the same activities. Some friends are like soul mates; we feel we were cut from the same cloth and we understand each other at a deep level. With our soul mates we can talk about almost anything—and sometimes we don’t have to talk about it. And some friends are lifelong buddies who knew us way back when; we know each other in ways that new friends never can.

Our egos can get in the way and spoil the development of good friendships. For instance, we may take things too personally and feel offended over small things. Or sometimes our ego maybe so determined to be right that we sacrifice the friendship in order to stand up for our position. A good friendship requires that our ego step back a bit, making room for others to have dignity and be imperfect too.

Today I am grateful for all the different kinds of friends in my life.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

Often I need to cut myself and others some slack. When I remind myself to lighten up, the intensity of the situation diminishes.

~ Lisa Keyes ~

Most of us have honed, quite skillfully, our ability to take most situations far too seriously. Perhaps If we were as careful to hone our skill of relying on our Higher Power to see us through situations, we’d more fully enjoy the moments God gives us.

Our struggle with perfectionism, coupled with our need to control outcomes, makes us experience life far too gravely. At the root of these character traits lies fear. We may not recognize our behavior as fear-based. However, were we not anxious about unfolding events, we’d feel peaceful and free to pursue activities that would reward us with the spiritual growth this program has promised.

Being reminded to lighten up may irritate us and feel like criticism at the time, but this advice can quickly change how we feel. After all, what we want is more serenity in our lives. We simply need reminders about how to attain it. Lightening up is one of the best and simplest of reminders.

I will remind myself to lighten up today, as many times as it takes to feel some peace.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I want to be open and willing

When my doctor gave me a (nonaddictive) medication for my anxiety, I filled it right away and took it regularly. To my surprise I still had times when I felt on edge and couldn't relax for long. Sometimes watching TV was the best I could do.

When I finally mentioned this to my therapist, he asked me how I felt about trying a relaxation technique. At first I didn’t want to do anything new or different (especially since I was angry at my medication for not doing what I expected it to do). But I trusted him and began learning something else I could do to help with my symptoms. Today, I am glad I did. I'm glad I have options.

Today I will think twice before saying no and practice being flexible.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

This above all: to thine own self be true.

~ William Shakespeare ~

Being true to ourselves means more than not imitating others. To be ourselves, we need a sense of self. Recovery involves taking a look at what’s inside. We can learn who we are and who we would like to be. We can begin to change a little at a time, earning our own respect.

Being true to ourselves also means making decisions based on what is best for us in the long view, not simply what can be attained right now or what is easiest.

Recovery calls us to be honest with ourselves and motivated by personal integrity in our relationships with others. As we learn who we really are, we find it easier to live with honor. As we make progress in recovery, we recapture our pride and self-respect.

Recovery is a time of self-discovery and, through sharing ourselves with others, our sponsor, and our Higher Power, we slowly learn more about who we are. Now, we can be true to ourselves.

Today may the mirror of recovery help me see myself more clearly, and may I be true to the personal vision I see.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

How would you go about taming a wild horse? You wouldn’t whip it back into a comer. You’d pat it on the nose and give it some carrots. . . .

~ Steven C. Hayes ~

The way you treat or view yourself today is likely the way you were treated in the past and repeats the messages you were told by others. You may have little confidence in your abilities and explode in anger at yourself whenever you make even the smallest of mistakes. Or you may regularly talk about yourself in negative terms, using such phrases as “I’m so stupid” or “I’m never going to amount to anything.”

You would not tame a wild horse by beating it or screaming at it. Instead you would move about it slowly and talk to it calmly. You would treat the horse with respect and kindness for however long it would take, until the horse finally saw you as someone who would not mistreat it.

You need to treat yourself in the same way. When you show yourself kindness and respect, and when you are patient with yourself, you will gradually shift how you think about yourself. You will be able to see that you have more positive qualities and abilities than you thought.

Today I will treat myself with kindness and respect so I can learn to see the good in me.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

A person remains immature, whatever his age, as long as he thinks of himself as an exception to the human race.

~ Harry A. Overstreet ~

Most every rule has an exception because of special people or circumstances. We may sometimes believe we are exceptions to the rule when it comes to the program. We may believe our set of circumstances or who we are makes us different. We may feel the slogans and Steps are good for most people, but they don't relate to us because of some unique things we believe no one else has.

Even though each of us is a unique individual with our own lifestyles and set of circumstances, we're no different than anyone else in the program. We are in the program for one purpose: To learn to live a better way of life while coping with the effects of an addiction. Once we realize we're working toward the same solution as everyone else, we won't see ourselves as exceptions. Our growth will occur in leaps and bounds once we're freed from the label of "exception to the rule."

I'm no different than anyone else when I look at the reasons why I'm in the program. I will remember my connection, not my exception.

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Dealing with problems

Eventually we reach a point in recovery where one trying incident doesn’t have to ruin the whole day. We reach a point where we’re less sensitive or emotional. We learn to take each day with everything in it. We learn to take each day with humor, acceptance, and love.

This is not to say that we become door-mats; it just means we’re going to find ways to calm down and not complicate existing problems. Just for today, let’s leave all our trials and complications to our Higher Power.

Am I learning to be less sensitive or emotional?

Higher Power, when I start to feel the pressure of today’s tribulations, help me remember that you can handle anything.

My plan for handling problems today is

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

Grief is itself a medicine.

~ WILLIAM COWPER ~

Newcomer

There were many things I did when I was active in my ad-diction-positive things, creative work—that have totally fallen apart. I don’t know how to begin again. Recovery has become my entire life.

Sponsor

At the beginning of my own recovery, going to meetings was most of what I did for a while; I was grateful that they were there to fill my time and hold me together. I showed up for work, but I felt shaky. I was afraid that my former feelings of competence and energy were gone for good. In time, I became able to function far better. The wonderful parts of my old life weren’t lost; they were more available to me than ever before.

Hearing you reminds me that recovery is still relatively new to us, compared with our years of active addiction. There are days when we’re not sure who we are any more. Our old lives may seem preferable to this discomfort and uncertainty.

It’s necessary to grieve for the people we were. The grief that we experience is good recovery work. It’s the beginning, not the end. Our true selves will emerge in recovery over time.

Today, I trust that what I most cherish in life is alive within me.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

We alcoholics have lived in two entirely different worlds that were separated only by an act of decision.

One day we lived in a world filled with hostile people, a world devoid of understanding and sympathy; a world of ugliness, suffering and despair. By this act of decision, a new day was created and we were transported into a different world.

If you would change the world, change yourself.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

THE GIFT OF HUMILITY

Grant upon us, O God, the gift of humility. When we speak, teach us to give our opinion quietly and sincerely. When we do well in work or play, give us a sense of proportion, that we be neither unduly elated nor foolishly self-deprecatory. Help us in success to realize what we owe to You and the efforts of others; in failure, to avoid self-pity; and in all ways to be simple and natural, quiet in manner, and reasonable in thought.

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

LIFE AFTER DEATH

Perhaps the most startling change that the discarnate has to meet is the fact that thought is the normal means of communication, and therefore there is no deception. You pass for what you are and that is the end of matter.

What is it that determines the kind of place to which you will go after death and the sort of people among whom you will find yourself? You will go to the sort of place and be among the sort of people for whom you have prepared yourself by your habitual thinking and your mode of living while on this earth. Remember that death makes positively no change in you; you are just the same person that you were before it happened. No one "sends" you anywhere. You naturally gravitate to the place where you belong.

You do not "meet God" on the next plane any more than you do on this plane. Of course, He is fully present on the next plane just as He is on this plane; but there as here, He is to be contacted only in one's own consciousness. Heaven is that perfect state of consciousness in which one is in full realization of the divine Presence. If you can reach to that level of consciousness while still in this world (and a few have succeeded in doing so), you are in heaven now and your awareness of God will be intensified after death.

However, there are some very unpleasant localities in the next world and people whose minds are chiefly given up to hared, deceit, or sensuality, will find themselves in such places. These are the places referred to as "hell."

Consider the man or woman who lives wholly for the body and is dominated by it. Physical cravings, being part of the mentality, are, of course, carried over to the next plane, but there is no physical body through which these appetites may be satisfied, and so the victim is tormented by desire but unable to satisfy it, until, in the course of time, these desires fade out by starvation. This is the natural punishment for allowing the physical body ro assume control, and surely it is punishment enough.

For we know that if our earthly house of this tabernacle were dissolved, we have a building of God, a house not made with hands, eternal in the heavens (2 Corinthians 5:1).

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Go to the Beach

For fast-acting relief, try slowing down.

~ Lily Tomlin ~

“After five frustrating attempts to get in touch with people who were renting houses, I got the message that I wasn't supposed to be trying." John recounted. "l told my wife, 'Let's just go to the beach.' While we were there, we saw a friend who asked us, 'Do you know anyone who would like to rent my house?' We made a great deal for his beach house and thoroughly love it!"

If something you're doing is not working, doing more of it will probably not work any better. lf you're butting your head against a wall again and again, stop. Rest. Breathe. Let go for the moment, then try a different approach. Whatever you do, don't keep trying to swim against the flow of life.

If a door is not opening organically, there's a good chance you are to go through another door. The moment you perceive struggle, step back and reassess your strategy. Commit yourself to success by way of ease, and you will open doors you never could have opened by trying to kick them down. True power is gentle, not forceful.

Imagine that the universe is set up for you to have what you want without struggle, Imagine that for every need you have, there is someone out there who has a need to offer the thing you want. Watch for signs and hints that you're on the right path or that you're looking for your good in the wrong place. Dare God to bless you without pain, and Spirit will answer with Peace.

Help me to take the light path. I open myself to receive my good gently and joyfully.

I do not have to fight for my good. Love will provide me with all that I want and need.

June 22

Step by Step

"Headstrong and willful, I rushed from pleasure to pleasure, and found the returns diminishing to the vanishing point. Hangovers began to assume monstrous proportions and the morning drink became an urgent necessity. 'Blanks' were more frequent, and I seldom knew how I'd got home. When my friends suggested that I was drinking too much - they were no longer my friends. ...With a creeping insidiousness, drink had become more important than anything else. It no longer gave me pleasure - it merely dulled the pain - but I had to have it. I was bitterly unhappy." - Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, Ch 4 ("Women Suffer Too"), p 226.

Today, ask truthfully if the "benefits" of drinking have been obliterated by the consequences - hangovers, drinking out of necessity with no choice, blackouts, loss of friends who suggested we had a problem, drinking to self-medicate. If in the end I concede that I depend on alcohol for pleasure or as a solution to some state of mind like anguish or loneliness, I cannot deny that I am addicted if only emotionally or psychologically. That, by definition, makes me an alcoholic. Today, then, I seek the courage and strength not to reject friends or acquaintances who are worried, and I pledge to seek solutions other than alcohol to my psychological pain and unhappiness. And, today, the solution is no farther away than a local AA group. Today, I make the call. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

THE OLDER MEMBER

Older people are always young enough to learn, with profit.

~ Aeschylus ~

An older member who has a desire to live in moderation in all things has as much need for recovery as a young person who surrenders and accepts their problem. When someone has the spiritual experience that gives them a chance for a second life, they know it's never too late to begin to change lifetime habits.

Many an older member has decided that they not only can save their lives, but that they can make those lives worth saving. They are determined to shake the bondage that addiction has created. With determination they plan to add years to their lives and life to their years.

There is no generation gap in recovery from addiction. One of the miracles is that both young and old can find a mutual caring and understanding once they surrender to a common reality.

**************************************************

~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

A man of faith does not bargain or stipulate with God.

~ Mahatma Gandhi ~

When we finally admitted that we were powerless over the substance or behavior of our addiction or codependency, we had already covered a lot of ground. Most of us had suffered great personal despair, defeat, and self- hate before we could see our problem for what it was. As the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous says, we, too, had “tried to find easier and softer ways, but we could not.” We bargained with ourselves and with nature, saying we would cut back or we would abstain for a period of time. Nothing short of total, unconditional acceptance of our powerlessness could release us from the grips of our problem.

The paradox of this surrender to reality didn’t strike us until later. Surrender to the truth is liberating. As long as we admit our powerlessness daily and never again try to bargain ourselves into a position of control, we are free to become the kind of men we respect and to have the respect of those we love.

Today, once again, as if for the first time, I admit my powerlessness and throw myself on the grace of my Higher Power to restore my spirit.

**************************************************

~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

Even when you find out, you never really know.

~ Julie Riebe ~

There are very few absolutes. Yet we can safely assume the sun will rise and the earth will continue its rotation. We can be certain that we have a Higher Power who has always loved us and will continue to. Likewise, we can be certain that the fellowship will always be available to us and that God will never give us more than we can handle.

Experience has shown us, however, that many things we thought we knew and could count on have faded before our very eyes. Opinions change, relationships end, circumstances develop, God’s plan intervenes.

Not really knowing what lies ahead lends an air of excitement to our lives. Trusting our Higher Power to walk us through every experience means we don’t have to worry about an outcome. Letting God be in charge promises us freedom from worry. This is an absolute we can count on.

There is only one thing I need to know today: God is present to help me. I can count on this with absolute certainty.

**************************************************

~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I want to manage my urges

I can hardly think straight. I feel sick. I feel a deep physical need to get high. It scares me. At moments like this, I almost want to throw away all these weeks of being clean. But then I remember how difficult it has been just getting this far. And if I let go now, I'm afraid I'd fall into a depression again. I want recovery.

With the help of my higher power, I can hold on. This too shall pass.

I will be sure to go to a meeting or call my sponsor when I feel urges to use.

*************************************************

~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

Happy Monday.

~ Carl Malin ~

Most of us, even if we have to work weekends, are thankful when it’s Friday. We look forward to the break in our routine, to sleeping late or going out in the evening. Our schedules tend to be different on weekends; there’s time to relax, time to worship in a formal setting if we choose.

So how can anyone say, “Happy Monday?” It depends on how we view our work. If our work is meaningless or boring it’s difficult, to say the least, to return to it, but in time our recovery can help us find work we enjoy. And for many of us, work is an essential part of life. It helps us feel we belong to something greater than ourselves, and that we are contributing to the health of that greater something, which in turn contributes to society at large. And we’re compensated with a salary, or satisfaction, or both.

Every day, even Monday, is a gift, given to us without charge and offering us a chance to create happiness.

Today help me be grateful for every day I am given.

**************************************************

~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

You can always trust information given you by people who are crazy; they have an access to truth not available through regular channels.

~ Sheila Ballantyne ~

Sometimes you may feel that your sobriety is going really great. You may rarely think about your addiction or experience any cravings.

Other times you may feel that all you do is think about having a drink. You drive by a liquor store, and your hands squeeze tightly on the wheel. It takes all of your power not to turn into the parking lot. Or you see a beer commercial on television and think about it so much that you can almost smell it and taste it.

Even though you are striving for total honesty in your life, sharing such thoughts with those who are not in the program is not a good idea. Telling your spouse that a beer would sure taste great with dinner or making a joke about almost stopping at a liquor store will not instill trust in your commitment to sobriety. Even confiding in a friend who is not an alcoholic how much you wish you could drink again will deprive you of the support you really need. Only another recovering alcoholic will truly understand the peaks and valleys of sobriety.

I trust that those in recovery will provide me with the support I need to overcome a craving.

**************************************************

~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

One must do more, think less, and not watch oneself live.

~Sebastien Roch Nicolas de Chamfort ~

A talk show host was interviewing a new starlet. Every time he asked her a question she watched herself in the monitor, listening more to herself than to him. Midway through the show, she was totally flustered trying to watch herself and keep up with the show's progress.

At times we may be so focused on ourselves that we are unable to see anyone else. We soon become our own greatest fans, watching only ourselves and listening only to our own thoughts. Reflecting on today, we may be conscious of how much time we spent talking about ourselves or focusing attention on ourselves and our issues.

We can start to change this behavior. Instead of spending a few hours focused on us, we can focus on a hobby, a book, a movie, or a family member. We aren't so important that we need to keep a constant watch over ourselves. There are a lot more important and more interesting people, places, and things to see.

I can stop watching myself and start noticing others. Higher Power, help me discover the world around me.

**************************************************

~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Overcoming loneliness

Chances are, we considered ourselves loners when we came into the program. Some of us had divided the world into the people who hated us and the people who didn’t like us very much. Some of us felt very alone even though we knew people liked us.

We never have to be alone again, however. By staying sober and clean, the walls we built around ourselves gradually come down.

Have I stopped being a loner?

Lord, help me to do what I need to do to never be alone again.

I will avoid loneliness today by

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

**************************************************

~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

More of me comes out when I improvise.

~ EDWARD HOPPER ~

Newcomer

Lately, I’ve been wanting to try all kinds of things that I haven’t done since I was a kid, or that I never did at all. I feel drawn to paint sets, puzzles, even some toys and stuffed animals. What’s happening to me? Is recovery making me childish?

Sponsor

Leave it to us addicts to think that there’s something wrong with us if we dare to feel happy. How delightful to feel drawn to childlike pleasures. We may be learning to take ourselves less seriously, at last.

There’s a big difference between childish and childlike. Play nourishes the life force. We never outgrow our need for it. In recovery, the sense that life is dark—nothing but problems, problems, problems—begins giving way to lightness. Our natural energy and curiosity come bubbling up from our spirits. What a change from the heaviness we felt when we first got here!

It’s important for us to set aside some time to do things that aren’t productive and goal-oriented. If we’re interested in looking, we’ll find peers in recovery who can help us dream up sober ways to lighten our hearts.

Play is food and exercise for the spirit. If we make time for play, we can approach the serious demands of our adult lives with rested, lively minds.

Today, the time I give to play makes work easier.

**************************************************

~ THE EYE OPENER ~

Many members of AA refer to their entrance into our fellowship as a passing from adolescence to maturity. When we take this step we should cease thinking as children and begin to think as adults.

Remember how you wanted what you wanted when you wanted it, and cried like hell when you didn’t get it? The advice of wiser and saner folks fell on deaf ears and we persisted in having our way even though our way was killing us.

A child thinks with its appetites while a mature person thinks with his head. We all know what class we belonged in.

Drunkenness is unthinkable for a thinking person.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

MY DESIGN

God, my purpose is to help others.
Give me this work,
Till my life shall end
And life
Till my work is done.

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

THE LINK OF LOVE

Will you meet your relatives and friends when you go over? Where there is a strong emotional link either of love or hatred there is likely to be a meeting. Where there is a strong link of genuine love there is sure to be a meeting. Where there is no particular feeling between two people there will not be a meeting. There is a real danger that if you allow yourself to indulge in hatred of anyone, you will meet when you have both passed over. To prevent this happening, destroy the link by ceasing to hate.

The so-called dead are very sensitive to our thoughts, and for this reason excessive grief is to be deprecated. It saddens them and prevents their focusing their attention as they should upon the new life that they are starting. Of course, it seems very hard to tell people not to grieve when one whom they have dearly loved passes out of sight, but remember that if there is a link of love you will certainly meet again, and that nothing that is good, or beautiful, or true' can ever be lost.

We can pray for those who have passed on, and indeed it is a sacred duty to do so. The practice was generally discontinued after the Reformation because it had been greatly abused and commercialized, but, nevertheless, it is an excellent practice in itself. Realize peace of mind, freedom, and understanding for them.

In my Father's house are many mansions: if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you (John 14:2).

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Beyond Velveeta

Living out your dreams can be more therapeutic than analyzing them.

~ Advertisement for a Hawaiian hotel ~

Two psychologists were walking down a corridor when they passed one of their colleagues. The fellow smiled, greeted them with a "Good morning!" and continued on his way. As soon as the man passed out of earshot, one psychologist turned to the other and said, "l wonder what he meant by that."

Many of us have been involved in self-analysis, introspection, therapy, and processing our relationships for a long time. There is no end to emotional processing; some of us have been more processed than Velveeta. There comes a time when we must quit trying to figure it all out and just go out and do something. While delving into our subconscious motivations is valuable, eventually we must extricate ourselves from the caverns of analysis and start to live. We will learn more from doing than trying to figure it all out.

Woody Allen quipped, "When I went into psychoanalysis, my biggest fear was that I would emerge with the personality of a l9th-century Jewish Viennese neurotic cocaine addict. Now after eight years of therapy, I would have gladly settled for that!" In his movie, Sleeper, Allen is accidentally frozen in a hospital and wakes up 500 years in the future. When the technicians who revive him tell him what year it is, he exclaims, "My God! I'd almost be done with therapy by now!"

The goal of therapy is to get us up and functioning. Therapists or patients who make a religion of keeping the patient in analysis forever have substituted the form for the goal. The best therapists are those who encourage patients to live their own lives, make their own decisions, and move on to the next level. It's time to get on with life, which will teach us in joyful ways as we live from celebration.

Give me the simple heart of a child that I may enter the kingdom.

I trust life to reveal my riches to me.

June 23

Step by Step

" ...(W)e deal with alcohol - cunning, baffling, powerful! Without help it is too much for us. But there is One who has all power - that One is God. May you find Him now.
'Half measures availed us nothing. We stood at the turning point. We asked His protection and care with complete abandon." - Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, Ch 5 ("How It Works"), pp 58-9.

Today ..."with complete abandon." If I stand "at the turning point," I am be there because the ideas, methods, ploys and "half measures" I used to control or stop my drinking didn't work. And because I haven't come up with a better idea, what is there to lose by surrendering "with complete abandon," surrendering to the First Step, that "(I am) powerless" and to a power greater and stronger than alcohol - and stronger than myself? Moving in the program "with complete abandon" is no "easier, softer way," certainly. But holding onto what I have tried and has failed is guaranteed to make my way progressively harder, maybe eventually fatal. Today, I surrender "with complete abandon." And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

Spirituality is the ability to get our minds off ourselves.

~ Anonymous ~

The early days of recovery were a strange time for us. There were so many new things coming into our lives all at once. Everything was whirling. We stuck close to our sponsor and home group. We needed a touchstone to make sense out of what was happening.

The early days of recovery were times of physical healing. We knew we were sick. Some of us didn't realize how sick we were. We went slow and kept our eyes, our minds, and our hearts focused on our First Step.

We didn't find instant spirituality in those days. That was O.K. There would be time enough for that; first, we had to get started. After time on the Program, after we had worked some Steps, we were asked to get our minds off ourselves. This was the time when we started making progress with our spiritual lives.

I have learned that spirituality is the ability to get my mind off myself.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

I’m as pure as the driven slush.

~ Tallulah Bankhead ~

There is something to be said for claiming our imperfection and wearing it proudly. There is so much more freedom and health in imperfection than in the stifling and unreal drive to be perfect. When we decide to put the shame and dishonor of our misbehaviors behind us, we are tempted to think that the opposite extreme would be better, but it is not. Instead of striving to be perfect, let us accept our imperfection. Instead of trying to climb to the top of the ladder of perfect actions, let us accept that we will make mistakes and that no honest man will ever reach that point. Let us strive instead to keep returning to our standards.

Many of us have said that living one day at a time is too much for us. We tell ourselves that we are just going to live this day, but a half hour later we are worrying again about the future. We have to keep reminding ourselves to live one minute or one hour at a time. That is the attitude we adopt when we accept our imperfection. Instead of expecting to hold to our standards perfectly, we simply keep returning to them.

Today I embrace my imperfection, and when I veer off course, I will keep returning to my path.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

Growth always comes for me through struggle and challenge. I have learned it is worth the effort to gain insight and personal strength.

~ Michele Fedderly ~

We seldom enjoy challenges while in the midst of them. Even though we have gained the wisdom to understand that they will have value to us, we generally fail to appreciate them as they unfold. Let’s not fault ourselves for that. We are doing the best we can. From this program we are discovering a whole new way of seeing our lives, and it takes time to fully incorporate this new vision.

We are destined to grow—our “assignments” will ensure that. We can be certain that some of them will be difficult, at least briefly. We can be equally certain that our pain will leave us just as swiftly as we reach for the hand of a caring companion. We are not on this journey alone. Look around. Our companions are everywhere, and we can help one another.

I am surrounded by women who do want to help me today. I will receive support and guidance every time I ask for it.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I want to be honest

I am glad I'm now in the Twelve Step program, a program of honesty. Before, I couldn't admit that I had a problem with chemicals. I kept this and other secrets from others‒and myself. Eventually I could no longer tolerate the lies. I realized how much I disliked myself for telling them.

Denial and lying have kept me in my disease. But when I am honest, I am free and I like myself. When I am honest I truly know who I am and others know too. I can look people in the eye. Honesty gives me strength.

I will practice honesty today when taking my daily inventory.

*************************************************

~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

Our acceptance of life grows steadily in recovery. Faith and trust, two natural foundations of sobriety, help us nurture a healthy flexibility. If we consider recovery as a weaving, we can imagine the strands of hope, joy, serenity, willingness, and surrender which we intertwine to form flexible strength. It helps, in times when we need to bend with the tide, to acknowledge the inner power of this fabric. With the help of our Higher Power, we can travel smoothly through transitions, and weather the stress of disappointment, rejection, loss, frustration, anger, shame, and remorse.

Life, of course, will go on being itself, and we will always face obstacles. But our old rigidity in facing life’s obstacles will no longer cripple or paralyze us. We are learning balance and finding serenity. We are learning to accept, to detach, and through our Higher Power, to have faith.

Today let me gain more balance by learning to stand firm as well as to yield.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

There is more to life than simply increasing its speed.

~ Mohandas “Mahatma” Gandhi ~

Our society favors gadgets designed to help people reach their goals while exerting the least amount of effort in the shortest period of time. So, you can stay in touch with friends and family through instant messaging. You can watch your favorite movie by downloading it onto your computer. You can trim inches off your thighs and bottom simply by walking around the house in specially engineered sneakers. With so many time-saving devices in existence, you may wonder why your recovery cannot move with similar rapidity.

The truth is, instant messaging does not offer you the same give-and-take exchange as does a conversation over a cup of coffee. Watching a movie on your computer does not give you the opportunity to meet up with friends at the movie house. And specially designed body-trimming sneakers do not provide you with truly aerobic exercise.

Recovery has been, and always will be, a process that takes time. There is no special mechanism that will accelerate your rate of progress, nor are there any magic sneakers that will reshape your mind, body, and spirit. Recovery provides you with the tools, but you need to do the work.

The tools of recovery are not magic, but are guaranteed to work through time and effort.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

Life is like a ten-speed bike. Most of us have gears we never use.

~ Charles M. Schulz ~

To ride a ten-speed bike, we need to learn to use the gears. If we're going uphill, we should know what gear eases the climb. If we're going downhill, we should know what gear best uses the slope of the hill.

The Twelve Steps of the program are like the bicycle gears. If we know the purpose and benefit of each Step, we can use them to ease our way. Sometimes life may feel like an uphill climb. Steps Two and Three teach us to call on our Higher Power for help. If we're contentedly coasting on a wonderful slope, then others may benefit from our strength and hope if we use Step Twelve. If we're struggling to change our behaviors or character defects, then Steps Four, Five, and Six may ease our struggles.

If we use all the Steps when we need them, we will never have to struggle again. But if we ignore them like never-used gears, they will become rusty and unproductive. Proper maintenance means we must use everything frequently in order to get the best benefit. We must use the Steps as much as we can.

Do I need to study the Steps more so I can use them better?

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Becoming patient

Let us not rush and demand perfection all at once; it would only blind us. If we are impatient, it is impossible to work a daily program; but if we are patient, we can learn to see our daily opportunities for growth.

We can’t develop a new relationship with our Higher Power overnight. It is worth waiting for, striving for. Let us not go too fast but simply count each day as an opportunity.

Am I learning patience?

Higher Power, I pray that I may be patient as I work my program and develop a relationship with you.

Today I will practice patience with

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

**************************************************

~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

Those who have known grief seldom seem sad.

~ BENJAMIN DISRAELI ~

Newcomer

I’m in limbo. My old life has ended—I know I can’t be that person any more—and I don’t really have a new life yet. I’m afraid that this program may turn me into someone that I won’t be able to recognize.

Sponsor

We haven’t lost ourselves; we’ve taken down the barrier to fulfilling our real natures. The addictive part of ourselves that we knew best, felt most at home with, is gone. We have feelings akin to those of a person mourning for a loved one, but we may not feel comfortable sharing about our loss. We may be especially reluctant to say anything that might sound as if we miss our active addictive use or behavior. We may hide how we’re feeling from ourselves as well as from others.

The loss of our addicted selves is, though necessary, nonetheless painful. We can’t get beyond it without first taking time to grieve and to acknowledge what we’ve left behind. What did we love and depend on? What would we like to keep? What are we willing to bury? Sharing our grief out loud with someone we trust is optional, but it can be a powerful means of releasing the tears we need to shed.

Today, I say good-bye to my past life, with compassion for the person I used to be. Every experience of my past has made my life in recovery today possible.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

It takes courage, intelligence, initiative and deep emotions to make a really successful fool. The timid, underimaginative, cowardly seldom do.

We as alcoholics made fools of ourselves, it is true, but, in so doing, we experienced more, we lived more, we suffered more. These are the ingredients of a liberal education.

If wisdom could be dissected, there would be a large portion of Folly, Defeat, Suffering and just plain Damned Foolishness in its make-up.

By the same token, our foolishness taught us valuable lessons that could not have been acquired anywhere else.

**************************************************

~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

DARKNESS TO LIGHT

Lord, I believe that You will reward each person according to his or her good works. Thank You for turning my darkness into light and for comforting me during my trials and low spots so that I may comfort and encourage others. Set Your word always before me so that I might remember Your great and awesome deeds. You are a faithful and just Teacher.

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

SELF-DESTRUCTION

Some thought should be given to the fate of those who commit suicide. The majority of those who take their own lives are so terrorized at the time that they are not entirely responsible for the act. Such people fare on the other side like anyone else. Conscious and intentional self-destruction is a refusal to meet the problems of life, and obviously it cannot be possible to do that successfully. These persons are apt to find themselves in a confused mental state. Of course, they can be greatly helped by prayer as can all others. Ultimately they have to face all over again precisely the kind of problem they have run away from.

Life as a father pitieth his children, so the Lord pitieth them that fear Him. For He knoweth our frame; he remebereth that we are dust (Psalm 103:13-14).

. . . the goodness of God endureth . . . (Psalm 51:1).

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Original Innocence

Open your eyes! The world is still intact; it is as pristine as it was on the first day, as fresh as milk!

~ Paul Claudel ~

I saw a 20-year-old prostitute being interviewed on a talk show. When Candy was 14, her mother took her to a street corner in Los Angeles, gave her $20, and left her there. She hadn't had a home since that day. I was struck by the hardness of this young woman's face. Although tender in age, she seemed haggard, tired, heavily defended, and old beyond her years. The show's host announced that his staff had found Candy's father, whom she loved and had not seen for many years. Moments later, he walked onstage and embraced his little girl, whose makeup was now streaming down her cheeks with her tears. I wish I had a picture of Candy's face when she saw her dad. In an instant, those horribly painful years fell away, revealing the tender child who had been cast unprotected into a cold world. Candy's innocence was not lost; it was just hidden.

Like Candy, we have all covered our light with many layers of armoring in the wake of pain. But the pure child within us has not been destroyed by the challenges through which we have passed. We have gone through dark times, and we are still here. There is something inside us that is bigger than our circumstances. We must remember who we are in the midst of appearances that would tell us that we are something else. We can reclaim our innocence.

Today I return to You. Show me my original innocence.

I do not belong to the world. I belong to love.

June 24

Step by Step

"Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs." - Step 5

"This (Step) is perhaps difficult - especially discussing our defects with another person. We think we have done well enough in admitting these things to ourselves. There is doubt about that. In actual practice, we usually find a solitary self-appraisal insufficient. ...We will be more reconciled to discussing ourselves with another person when we see good reasons why we should do so. The best reason first: If we skip this vital step, we may not overcome drinking. ...Trying to avoid this humbling experience, (members) have turned to easier methods. Almost invariably they got drunk." - Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, Ch 6 ("Into Action"), pp 72-3.
Today, understanding that the purpose of Step Five is to unburden myself of the emotional baggage of guilt, fear, resentment and anger that will likely impair my recovery if I do not let go of that weight. I cannot expect to reap the program's full benefits if I cannot be unconditionally honest with myself and others by keeping bottled inside those events or feelings that might have contributed to my drinking - and hurt to others. Along with humility, Step Five requires courage. Failing to muster both honesty and courage to release what now hurts me will predictably impede my recovery. And, in letting go by confiding in another person, I may find fresh perspectives, useful direction and an unbiased opinion that what I think is so bad may not be as bad as I think. Today, I look for the honesty and courage to take Step Five and, hopefully, find reconciliation. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

EFFORT

We are responsible for the effort, not the outcome.

~ Anonymous ~

During our addictive years, it was a common practice to work things backward. We were known to eat our deserts before our main meal, to celebrate before we won, to assume the outcome before the event.

The problem with this behaviour is that it takes no account of reality, Things move from beginning to end. The alphabet reads from A to Z. This seems so simple, but it can be tricky for people who are used to taking shortcuts. Our program is best utilized by starting with Step One and moving through each Step in sequence. We often hear of people Two-Stepping the Program, moving from Step One immediately to Step Twelve. This practice often causes relapse.

It is essential that I put all my effort in to every Step. If I do, the outcome will take care of itself. All I effect is my effort, and that will always speak for itself.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

It is well to remind ourselves that anxiety signifies a conflict, and so long as a conflict is going on, a constructive solution is possible.

~ Rollo May ~

Anxiety is a sign of life. All living things experience it; it is nothing to be feared. In fact, we double our anxiety if we are afraid of our feelings of fear. Anxious feelings may be a guide, an intuition pointing us in a direction we need to follow. They can direct us away from some situations and toward others. They may be a sign that we have neglected something or that an important matter remains unfinished

When we become familiar with our feelings, we also become more comfortable with them. We welcome them like friends who tell us what we need to pay attention to. One way to become more aware of our feelings is to just pause and quietly breathe with slow, deep breaths. In that simple physical act, our bodies quiet down and we can think more clearly.

Today I will give my anxiety its rightful place rather than fighting it, and I will pay attention to its message.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

Doing nothing is sometimes the best thing we can do.

~ Connie Hilliard ~

Recovery inspires us to change, to move forward. We set goals and count on other people to support our efforts. Having a direction is significant to us because for years many of us floundered. Now we fear regressing, so when obstacles surface, we panic. We want to take immediate action, and we want others to bend to our will. On days like this, let’s remember that we still have much to learn.

It’s okay to sit out a problem occasionally. Not every conflict has to be resolved or even discussed. Many circumstances need no settling. Sometimes just quieting down releases us from a problem. And in its own way, that is a decision. We are doing something. When we understand that, we’ll feel better about “doing nothing.” It will no longer feel like passive acceptance of a bad situation.

Often the wisest thing we can do is nothing. We have heard this advice many times at meetings and from sponsors. Let’s follow it.

Before I take action on any matter today, I’ll ask myself if I really need to do so. Doing nothing may be just right.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I can deal with my feelings of shame

I feel bad when I think about the slips I've had. I worry that no matter what I do, I won't be able to get abstinent. It feels like I can't get this simple program. And yet I know how much I want recovery I'm working my program as well as I can.

My sponsor reassures me that I am not a failure or a bad person-neither for having a dual disorder nor for having had slips. I feel relieved and happy that he still accepts me, still believes in me, and still wants to help me.

I will write out an affirmation that says, "l am a good person in recovery and doing the best I can." I could even say it out loud to myself in front of a mirror.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

I am alone with the beating of my heart.

~ Li Chi ~

Chemical dependency and codependency rob us of our natural connection to others. Isolation is the consequence and symptom of these illnesses.

Recovery restores and continues to nurture the skills so critical to healthy relationships: honesty, openness, and detachment. It is essential to our recovery that we can be intimate with ourselves, and enjoy our own company. Solitude offers us the chance to relax, meditate, pray, dream, invest in hobbies, and be with our Higher Power. We are replenished from time shared in this way.

When we are good company alone, we will be good company with others. And, with a Power greater than ourselves active in our lives, we are never really alone. Just as our bodies need sleep, our minds and hearts need regular solitude to be fully expressive, attentive, and loving. We, and our friends, deserve nothing less than the richness life has to offer.

Today help me make room in my life to comfortably sit alone.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

While you have a thing it can be taken from you . . . but it is yours then forever when you have given it. It will be yours always. That is to give.

~ James Joyce ~

A new faculty member arrived at her office at a college and her assistant offered to give her a tour. As soon as they headed out the door, the assistant stooped to pick up some trash. Walking down a sidewalk, he removed a large branch. He picked up a pen on a stairway. “You must live in a very neat home,” the professor commented.

“Force of habit,” he replied. “You see, my sister lost her eyesight in an accident last year. Because both of our parents are gone, I dropped out of school and found this job so I could help take care of her. I’ve gotten so used to thinking ahead about what path she is going to take that I’m always on the lookout for things that might trip her up. I apologize for taking time from your tour, and promise I will stop doing that for you.”

The professor thought for a moment. “Please don’t,” she said. “In fact, let’s walk around the campus and do this together.”

Today I will give to another in ways that will help to make the journey through recovery easier.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

Don't find fault. Find a remedy.

~ Henry Ford ~

A person in need and a listener were on the telephone. "The problem is,” began the one need, "I wouldn't be in this situation if those things hadn’t happened." The one in need talked on, listed all the people, places, and things that brought him to such a state.

The listener let him finish, and then replied, “I believe you’re blaming people, places, and things for your problems. You can only blame yourself because you're the one who can change things. As long as you hide behind ‘causes’ you won’t take action. It’s up to you to act, so do it!"

It may be easier to blame, because finding remedies means we'll have to work. Looking for scapegoats for our current situation won’t get us out of our ruts, it will only mire us deeper. To get free, we need to use our talents and wisdom to good benefit. As the listener said, it's up to us to take action, so let’s do it!

Tonight I can stop finding scapegoats. It’s up to me to find remedies for my current position and to help pull me out of a rut. Let me do it!

**************************************************

~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Getting honest

There is an intuitive understanding between recovering addicts and newcomers. Old- timers know well the games that newcomers play at first. Newcomers are not asked what they’re thinking, they’re told what they’re thinking! They don’t need to be trapped into lies; old-timers tell them the lies they were about to tell.

Thus, in the beginning, we start to get honest because we hardly have a choice. We give up on playing games because there are no tricks left in the bag. Being confronted by others, we have to get honest—honest enough to save our lives.

Have I stopped playing games? Am I getting more honest?

Higher Power, let me be grateful for the intuition and quick tongue of my fellow members: They can help me get honest.

I will practice honesty today by

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

Loneliness is a terrible blindness.

~ CHRISTINA STEAD ~

Newcomer

I’m not fighting the addiction itself any more. In a strange way, where I am right now feels more painful. The drama and some of the magic of early recovery are over. When I’m not actually at a meeting, I feel as if I’m sitting in a bare room, alone with my feelings and terribly lonely.

Sponsor

I remember the time you’re talking about. We’re no longer brand-new in the program; we’re not shaking from withdrawal; we’re not rebelling against suggestions. We’re not sure what’s left of our old self, and we don’t know who our new self will turn out to be, or even if we can count on one to emerge. We feel as if we’re alone and facing a void. It may be reassuring to know that most of us have gone through this feeling of immense loneliness, and that it has left us. In time, our perception shifted. Our lives were filled with more abundance than we ever imagined.

For today, there are things we can do to alleviate loneliness. We can begin to nurture a relationship with our Higher Power through prayer and meditation. We can make a gratitude list to lift ourselves out of self-pity. We can reach out and begin the gradual process of getting to know people in recovery better: thanking the speaker, putting our hands up, taking phone numbers and using them, volunteering to speak to a group. We can stop believing that our happiness is entirely up to circumstance. We, too, are worth getting to know.

Today, I let go of my fantasy of instant relationship and take a step in the long process of getting to know another person.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

The poor old drunk has ever had to face the wrath of the law and an indignant world. Lectures, threats, jail sentences, booby hatches and asylums have proven to be but waste of words, efforts and public funds. Nothing−absolutely nothing worked.

AA tried a revolutionary ministration of sympathy and understanding. It recognized his condition as an illness, threefold in its nature, and the only medication that would prove effective must treat his physical, mental and spiritual disorder at one and the same time.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

CONSCIOUSNESS OF GOD

I came, at my first surrender, not only into consciousness of God but into usefulness for God and others. I was able to do, through God's help, what no one has ever been able or ever will be able to do alone, which is to supplement the all-important "why" of life with the still more important "how" of living. I was able to begin solving my own problems and, for the first time in my experience, was given the power to begin helping others. I no longer wished well to "myself alone." Dear God, I pray to surrender again today.

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

COMMUNICATION WITH THE "DEAD"

Is it possible to communicate with those who have passed on into the next world? Extremists on one side say dogmatically that it is absolutely impossible to do so. Enthusiasts on the other side claim that their deceased friends direct their actions. The truth is that communication does take place, but that the wise dead understand the necessity of our exercising our own power of choice and do not intrude. But they do often come to our aid.

If you wish to investigate psychic things, do so thoroughly and scientifically. The chief objection to the running after mediums is that it may become a running away from the responsibilities of this life. Thus seeking mediums becomes what is called in psychology an escape mechanism. Your business is to face up to your problems and to try to solve them.

There is a truly spiritual mode of communication from which nothing but good can come. It is this: Sit down quietly and remind yourself that the one God really is Omnipresent. Then reflect that your real self is in the Presence of God now, and that the real self of your loved one is also in the Presence of God. Do this for a few minutes every day, and sooner or later you will get a sense of communication.

For to this end Christ both died, and, rose . . . that he might be Lord both of the dead and living (Romans 14:9).

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

It’s Not About You

What you think of me is none of my business.

~ Terry Cole-Whittaker ~

A black man tried unsuccessfully to gain admission to a white church. Year after year, the church gave the man and his family a different excuse for rejection. Finally, the man got down on his knees and prayed, "Dear Jesus, every year I try to become a member of this church, and every time they deny me. Can you help me?"

Suddenly a deep voice boomed, "Don't feel bad, George—I've been trying to get into that church for a lot longer than you, and they won't let me in either!"

Other people see us through their own eyes, perceptual screens, and belief systems. Anger, prejudice, and rejection are statements—not about the recipient, but the giver. If you're treated unfairly, your most powerful response is not attack, but truth and prayer. Be honest about your experience, and pray that fear is lifted from the other person's heart and that forgiveness flows into your own. While we're not asked to put up with abuse, we must maintain the knowledge that we are whole and lovable no matter what anyone else says or does.

Let me remember that love is the only reality.

I align myself with love, and I am invulnerable in forgiveness.

June 25

Step by Step

Today, of all that I feel, gratitude is foremost - gratitude for grabbing the lifeline of AA, for the common sense to hold onto it, for the support, experience, strength and hope of all the people I have found here and, perhaps above all, for the gift of the chance to recover, to put all that pain, destruction, fear, self-pity and self-seeking behind me. And I will not reach into yesterday and bring its garbage into today but understand that my recovery is a day-to-day process regardless of how many 24 hours of sobriety I have been blessed with. And I will understand that the gratitude I feel today is the birth of humility - and it is in humility that I feel all the good there is to feel in being sober today. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS

Gratitude is the attitude.

~ Anonymous ~

There are many adjustments to be made in our recovery. We’re must be careful how we judge our progress. The Program provides us with a new pair of glasses to see our new world. Those glasses were uncomfortable to us at first. We saw things so differently that we sometimes questioned what we saw.

We soon discovered getting better is not about having a better car, nicer home, smarter children, better relationships, or any goal we might ever have had. Getting better is about maintaining our daily conscious contact with our Higher Power which helps us to accept the many things in our lives.

Our world is not changing, but we know we are. When we take our daily inventory, we do not count the things we have accumulated or will accumulate. We count the times we have been on the beam or off the beam. Our inventory should always end with gratitude to our Higher Power and the fellowship, for one more day of freedom from our disease.

I've learned in recovery to count my blessings and work for an attitude of gratitude.

**************************************************

~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

Baseball teaches us; or has taught most of us, how to deal with failure. We learn at a very young age that failure is the norm in baseball and... errors [are] part of the game, part of its rigorous truth.

~ Francis T. Vincent, Jr. ~

Of course we will make mistakes. We are born with the right to make mistakes. There is no shame in that. Perfection is a false ideal for a real human being. We learn by trial and error. If we try to be perfect, we will meet dead ends and roadblocks because we will inevitably fall short.

Instead, there is wisdom in the motto, “Keep coming back.” In this instance, the motto refers to returning to our standards. Rather than to strive constantly for higher and higher perfection, our goal is to always return to the rules we live by. Of course we will veer off the path. When we do, we make repairs, pay our dues, and hold our place as full-fledged members of the human race.

Today my goal is to keep returning to my ethics for a good life.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

Inner hunger is a divine discontent that keeps us moving forward.

~ Jacquelyn Small ~

We all want things we don’t have. Even people who don’t develop dependencies are seldom content with what life has served them. There is a remedy for this condition however: the Third Step. Coming to believe that a Higher Power is watching over us, ushering into our lives exactly what we need on schedule, relieves our obsession with wanting what we don’t have. God will give it to us, If we need it, when the time is right.

It’s not wrong to want what we don’t have. The folly is when we let our inner desires rule us, rather than trusting that we will be shown how to draw them to us if and when they become right for us.
Moving forward can be defined in many ways. Awaking each morning to the thought that God has something new and unexpected in store for us Is moving forward. Let’s relish this thought!

I will be content today if I remember that my Higher Power has my day well planned.

**************************************************

~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I am learning to get the help I need

Some days I wake up in the morning long before anyone else. My eyes open wide in the darkness and a bad dream flashes by again. But in a way, it doesn’t feel like a dream. These days it feels like my life.

It's not easy to feel depressed all day long and then get little relief at night. At times I feel exhausted and hopeless. This is why I need to remind myself again and again that I am not helpless and that help is available. I can use my Twelve Step and fellowship to help me face each day, one at a time, with courage.

Today I will promptly roll out of bed and begin my day.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

Ask, and ye shall receive.

~ John 16:24 ~

Somewhere in our past life, we may have picked up the idea that it’s not all right to ask for help, that asking for help would be a sign of weakness. Recovery calls for some basic changes in our thinking, and when we feel vulnerable is the best time to reach out and ask for help from our Higher Power, from our program, and from our friends in recovery. It’s hard for us, at first. We may be afraid of rejection, or of being laughed at for not knowing all the answers. But once we’ve taken the risk and openly asked for help, we realize our fears are a part of the past, and we can leave them behind us.

In asking for help, we acknowledge that we can’t do it all by ourselves. We surrender once again to powerlessness. And we give others the joy and satisfaction of helping us.

Today if I’m feeling I’m on a “solo flight,” help me to reach out and find support just by asking.

**************************************************

~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

Don’t worry about the world coming to an end today. It is already tomorrow in Australia.

~ Charles M. Schulz ~

On one of those days when it seems everything that happens is an uphill struggle, nothing happens on time or when you want it to, your boss is in a particularly foul mood, and others are making demands of you, you may want to cry out, “Will this day never end!”

The reality is, it will end. The sun will eventually set and night will fall. “Good riddance,” you might think. But saying goodbye to one bad day does not guarantee that all of the catastrophes that occurred in it may not once again rear their ugly heads.
If your struggle is uphill, you may need to face a particular challenge. If time goes awry, perhaps you need to employ greater patience. If your boss is ornery, you may need to learn how to be less reactive. And if others are making demands of you, perhaps you need to learn how to say no. It has been said that God does not give you anything that you are not ready for or incapable of handling. So too it is with everything about to unfold today. Are you ready for whatever comes your way?

Today I will greet the day with an optimistic attitude and take this attitude with me throughout the day.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

Blame yourself if you have no branches or leaves; don't accuse the sun of partiality.

~ Chinese proverb ~

How much do we use our past to find reasons for our faults or shortcomings today? Because we may have come from alcoholic homes or impoverished households doesn't give us the license to place blame for the way we are.

We may feel we would be easier to get along with if other people didn't act the way they did. We may believe we would have so many more hours in the day if others didn’t take up so much of our valuable time.

If one tree in a forest is thirsty and starved for sunlight, it doesn't blame the other trees around it for drinking its water and basking in its sun. If the tree wants water it spreads its roots wider and deeper to seek water. If it wants sunlight it spreads its branches and reaches higher. Like that tree in the forest, so must we concentrate on the things we need to do for our nourishment and growth. Our health depends on ourselves, not upon the failings of those around us.

I can look at my growth, and do the things I need for me.

**************************************************

~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Analyzing

Our constant analyzing could mean we don’t work the Steps; eventually, it could cost us our lives. It’s as if we were standing in a burning building, in front of a fire escape, trying to understand the principles of oxidation.

What we need to do first is to get out of the fire; we can learn about oxidation—about ad-diction and recovery—later. It is dangerous to stand on the fringes of addiction; it can be dangerous to delay a commitment.

Have I made a clear choice?

Higher Power, help me learn to relate to you as well as to my analytical mind.

Today I will let go of analyzing and take Steps

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

**************************************************

~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

Constant togetherness is fine— but only for Siamese twins.

~ VICTORIA BILLINGS ~

Newcomer

I heard someone in recovery say, "I don’t have relationships, I take hostages.” Everyone laughed, but it left me feeling insecure about how to evaluate my own relationships. How close is too close?

Sponsor

Though we may not feel comfortable with many other people when we first get here, perhaps there’s one particular person we feel we can trust—a mate, an old friend who has remained loyal, a peer in recovery, a sponsor. We may have the desire to check everything with this other person, and we find ourselves spending hours on the phone or in his or her company.

Strong, healthy relationships are vital. They’re a blessing, not a problem. Problems arise if we feel so dependent on another person’s approval that we lose touch with our feelings and preferences; if we isolate as a pair, always protected from the joys and challenges of new friendships; or if our constant togetherness creates a pressure-cooker buildup of intensity. Recovery requires thoughtful self-examination and self-challenge. Though others can offer to witness, support, and love us, our recovery work is ours alone. It takes courage to allow ourselves and others autonomy within a relationship.

Today, as I include people in my life, I leave myself and others room to be and to grow.

**************************************************

~ THE EYE OPENER ~

The fortunes amassed by the Carnegies, the Mellons, the Fords and the Rockefellers have been largely diverted to the welfare of man generally, yet their pooled resources multiplied thousands of times would not accomplish the good that resulted from the heritage left us by the Poorest Man that ever lived.

The power of wealth as compared with the power of Love is puny to the point of being unworthy of comparison.

If your pockets are not lined with gold but your heart is, you can still be a power, not only for this generation but for those yet unborn.

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~ DAILY READINGS FROM THE AA LODGE ~ (Spiritually of Native Americans and A.A. Literature) ~

Unity is power, and power can destroy itself if unity is based on self-interest or is partial...From now on we work as one spirit.

~ Hiawatha Iroquois ~

This Tradition is a constant and practical reminder that personal ambition has no place in A.A. In it, each member becomes an active guardian of our Fellowship.

~ Twelve Steps & Twelve Traditions pg. 183 ~
(Reprinted with permission A.A.W.S.)

Each member of Alcoholics Anonymous is but a small part of a great whole. A.A. must continue to live or most of us will surely die.

~ Twelve Steps & Twelve Traditions pg. 189 ~
(Reprinted with permission A.A.W.S.)

AA's Declaration of Unity

This we owe to A.A.'s future; to place our common welfare first; to keep our Fellowship united. For on A.A. unity depend our lives, and the lives of those to come.

(Reprinted with permission A.A.W.S.)

Creator give us strength to walk as one.

(Published by the Native American Indian General Service Office of Alcoholics Anonymous)

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~ A CHEROKEE FEAST OF DAYS ~ (Vol. I) ~

Just when we think nothing is working there is a glimmer of light. If we could believe in our hearts that what looks impossible can work out, we could bear more easily with hardships. Living is like the weather. It has its surprises, its storms, its dry spells. But if we can hold on, it all changes. The changes come the way we change our minds—unexpectedly and sometimes for no apparent reason. But the reason, the uyelvdvi, real purpose is there. Every word we speak, everything we believe, builds our consciousness and makes us who we are. If we expect nothing good, it will oblige us. We are as unlimited as we say we are, and it is in our power to make the difference.

Will we let ourselves be destroyed in our turn, without making an effort worthy of our race?

~ TECUMSEH ~

© Copyright, Joyce Sequichie Hifler. All Rights Reserved.

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~ A CHEROKEE FEAST OF DAYS ~ (Vol. II) ~

Every morning, liquid gold slips under the trees and pours down the slopes to puddle against the purple locusts. Shafts of sunlight caught in crystal dew light each blade of grass and splash color against the trunk of every tree. The Sioux told their white invaders that they were digging in their Black Hills for gold to get rich - but the Sioux were rich by simply watching the Black Hills. And so it is with the morning sun. It brings a wealth that no material thing could give. Joy is gold and peace of mind cannot be evaluated. These things draw long-term interest.

I am grateful the Creator made me an Indian, because it is natural for a Cherokee to pray and believe in the supernatural.

~ CHARLES SEQUICHIE – GRANDFATHER ~

© 1996 by Joyce Sequichie Hifler. All Rights Reserved.

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~ A CHEROKEE FEAST OF DAYS ~ (Vol. III) ~

Hay mowing has begun and golden bales dot the fields. Abundant rains have brought us yellow coneflowers and coreopsis across the prairies, and soon there will be many different kinds of sunflowers that love the heat of July. Not long ago we were told by those who know these things that we could expect drought, but the rains came. It seems to be a wait-and-see thing rather than a cut- and-dried fact, as it is with so many things, even in daily personal events.

When we hear negative predictions we can say, “...except for faith.” If we believe it can be different, it can—even when we are tempted to believe the experts who make these predictions. But the Creator is even more able. We must not forget.

Mortal man has not the power to draw aside the veil of unborn time.

~ POKAGON, POTAWATOMI ~

Copyright © 2002 by Joyce Sequichie Hifler

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~ ELDER MEDITATION ~

“We are called hollow bones for our people and for anyone else we can help, and we are not supposed to seek power for our personal use and honor.”

~ Fools Crow, LAKOTA ~

In order for us to use our power well, we must become a hollow bone. We must prepare ourselves to become a channel. Our channel must be clean before we can use our power well. We must be free of resentments, guilt, shame, anger, self pity and fear. If these things are in us, we cannot be hollow bones. These things block us from our power. The cleaner we are, the more power we move. We must become a hollow bone so the Creator can use us to do what he wants us to do.

My Creator, remove from me today all resentment, anger, fear, guilt and selfishness. Do not let my weaknesses stand in the way of my usefulness to You. Make me a hollow bone so Your power can flow through me.

~ http://www.whitebison.org/ ~

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~ SPIRIT WISE ~ (A Book of Reflections from Elders Spiritual Wisdom)

Onondaga, Big Mouth (1684)

Here in we follow the example of Jesuits, who stave all the kegs of rum brought to our castles, lest the drunken Indian should knock them on the head.

Onondaga, Leon Shenandoah (Wisdom Keeper)

We are made from mother earth and we go back to mother earth. We’re just visiting here. We’re the Creator’s guests. He’s invited us to stay for a while, and now look what we’ve done to His creation.

Lakota, Modern Indian

He has to remain humble and helpful to the people in order to be able to feel the flow of power through the objects and through him, to the people.

Ron Swenson (Spiritwise@cableone.net)

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

EMPTY OUT

O God, thank You for my spiritual growth and especially that gradual walk into Your light, which has seemed to be a process of breaking down‒of disorganization, of emptying out‒a matter of deflation in my own self-importance until self-approval and concern for the approval of others has shrunk to a point where I'm willing to step entirely aside and give You a chance to shine.

*************************************************

~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

THIS WORLD IS A SCHOOL

Pass a test in Spiritual understanding, and never again throughout eternity will that particular task have to be done. Your attitude should be:

I am going to live forever; in a thousand years from now I shall still be alive and active somewhere; in a hundred thousand years still alive and active somewhere; and so the events of today have only the importance that belongs to today. I greet the unknown with a cheer, and press forward joyously, exulting in the great adventure.

Armed with this philosophy, and really understanding its power, you have nothing to fear in life or death-because God is All, and God is Good.

Now the God of peace, that brought again from the dead our Lord Jesus . . . make you perfect in every good. work to do his will, working in you that which is well-pleasing in his sight . . . (Hebrews 13:20-21).

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Will You Bless Me?

No man is so poor as to have nothing worth giving... Give what you have. To someone it may be better than you dare think.

~ Henry Wadsworth Longfellow ~

Hugo and Sylvia asked me to be the best man at their wedding, which was to take place on the last day of a conference we were attending. By the end of the program, I was feeling frazzled and tired. Although my energy level was low, I went to Hugo's room to see him before the ceremony. Hugo invited me onto the balcony, took my hands, and sincerely asked, "Will you bless me?"

My initial internal response was, "l am too weary and scattered," but I could not resist his sincere request on this important occasion. I closed my eyes, took a breath, and prayed for assistance. Immediately, I felt a deep peace and a miraculous renewal of energy. I opened my eyes and spoke a powerful blessing, which Hugo appreciated.

We always have the energy we need when love calls. When life asks you to serve in a way that will bring healing, the little ego must step aside. The windfall of Spirit will enable you to do whatever is necessary to serve God's plan. We always have infinite energy and resources to magnify the voice of love.

Breathe through me today. Give me the energy to do what will truly serve.

I can do all things through God who strengthens me.

June 26

Step by Step

"More than most people, the alcoholic leads a double life. He is very much the actor. To the outer world he presents his stage character. This is the one he likes his fellows to see. He wants to enjoy a certain reputation, but knows in his heart he doesn't deserve it." - Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, Ch 6 ("Into Action"), p 73.

Today, if I take the Fifth Step and confess to another person "the exact nature of (my) wrongs," may I be given the strength and courage to be honest with my toughest prospect: myself. Like Jekyll and Hyde, I displayed two personalities in my drinking days - the party animal or the isolated, depressed lonely drinker as I drank toward oblivion and, the morning after, the physically and emotionally broken person for everyone to see. I must meld both characters into one to find the actual self on which to build recovery, and that effort will likely be nil if I am not honest with myself first before taking Step Five. Honesty begins with myself; without it, my Fifth - and my Fourth, for that matter - is based on illusion. In the end, so will my recovery be based on illusion. Today, let me understand the wisdom that honesty, before it is given to anyone else, has to begin with me. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

PRAYING

Trying to pray is praying.

~ Anonymous ~

"Oh, God, help me! If you get me out of this mess, I’ll never screw up again.” This was our favourite prayer before we entered the Program. We were always bargaining with God.

We have learned new prayers and a new way to talk and listen to our Higher Power. We are seeking God’s will for us. Many of us had to learn how to pray. We began with very simple prayers: God, help me know Your will for me.” “Thank you, God, for helping me today.

We learn that prayer helps us with our faulty dependence on people. Places, and things by giving us the insight and strength to rearrange our priorities. Prayer doesn’t change God, but it changes those who pray.

Today in my prayers, I will seek my higher Power’s will for me. I no longer bargain with God.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

I’ve had a wonderful time but this wasn’t it.

~ Groucho Marx ~

How often we went out in search of pleasure to escape our problems, and our desires only led us into much bigger problems. Alcohol, gambling, sex, food, and even taking care of others are all pleasures. They have been part of good times in many people’s lives. But we know that pursuit of these pleasures can be abused and create only heartache and sickness.

In this program we are dealing with the age-old problem of how to manage our desires. This is a spiritual problem. We are born with desires. Our development into strong manhood is partly a growth in our ability to learn from experience and choose how and when to satisfy these desires—and which ones are best left unsatisfied. We are learning that a hearty, healthy man can live very well with some desires unfulfilled.

Today I will have a wonderful time, in part, because I choose to leave some desires and impulses unsatisfied.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

Addiction is our mind’s attachment to a particular substance or behavior in the belief that it is going to create the sense of expansion that we crave.

~ Niro Asistent ~

We are painfully slow learners. We repeat old behaviors and are surprised when the same old results occur. On the other hand, most of us swiftly learned that our return to using an addictive substance meant the same old trouble. Why can’t we see the parallel here?

Perhaps we need to act as better teachers to one another. Let’s concentrate on reminding one another that old patterns can’t create new results; they keep us forever stuck.

We want to grow, to change, to feel whole. We wouldn’t have come to this program had we wanted to stay who we were. We forget, that’s all. But we can learn to remember, with one another’s help, that nothing new comes out of something old.

I want to be a good student and a good teacher today. With my Higher Power’s help and my willingness, I can do both.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I am growing to like myself again

Not so long ago I could hardly be bothered to crawl out of bed. When I did, I preferred to just pad about in my slippers and pajamas. I had little interest in myself or the world.

But I've come a long way in recovery. Today I popped out of bed right with the alarm. I made my bed and then put on my favorite pants and T:shirt. While brushing my hair in the mirror?surprise!?I broke into a smile. I felt good about myself?I felt good about the way I looked and about how I was starting my day.

Today I will practice smiling at myself in the mirror twice (even if I do not feel like it).

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

Do not pray for tasks equal to your powers.
Pray for powers equal to your tasks.

~ Phillips Brooks ~

What constitutes success? Is the success of a day measured in what we accomplish? In making money and rising in our work? Or being equal to the challenge of each new day?

Recovery has made a big difference in how we think of success. To be recovering from addiction calls for a full commitment to ourselves, our relationships, our challenges, and our spiritual growth. Now, being successful means we have patience, humility, enthusiasm, and courage. The gift of recovery opens the door to these new forms of success. Our Twelve Step fellowship, our sponsor, and our new friends help us make progress. And communion with our Higher Power gives us a strength and serenity that makes us less afraid of the challenges ahead. Now, we can live a full life, one day at a time.

Today grant me the strength to climb each daily “mountain” and find joy in each new vista.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

My idea of an agreeable person is a person who agrees with me.

~ Benjamin Disraeli ~

In the past, it may have seemed as if you were at odds with everyone. No matter what you said or did, it never seemed to be the right thing. A big part of such discord was a result of your habit. Because you were enslaved by your addiction, your thoughts and actions preserved a direct path toward your habit—and away from others. As a result, you were constantly caught up in arguments with those who did not understand the hold the addiction had on you. Try as you might, you could not force others to see your point of view.

But recovery shows you that there are others who share many of your thoughts. They have been down that same Habit Road multiple times, and they have often fought the same battles with others that you did.

Finding a connection with others who understand how you got here and what you are facing makes the journey that much easier. While not every person in recovery will agree with you, what is most important is that those in the program with whom you have bonded share a common connection.

My recovery journey is made easier through my connection to Others who understand what I am going through.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

It's better to be a lion for a day than a sheep all your life.

~ Sister Elizabeth Kenny ~

Following the crowd, going along with the majority, or doing for the approval of others makes us like sheep. Sheep travel in packs behind a leader or are guided by the barks and nips of sheepdogs. Sheep never travel alone and one sheep never leads the others. Are we like sheep?

By following the norm, we've learned life may be easier without arguments or disagreements over bucking the trend. But how has such following helped us grow? Do we really know who we are, or are we more aware of how everyone else is?

To walk against the wind once in a while is healthy. We don't always have to follow the crowd if we don't believe the crowd is right. We can be like a lion once in a while: a leader, unafraid to travel alone or to guide others. We can let out a mighty roar that will set us apart from the din of the crowd. We don't have to be sheep all the time, only when we want to be.

Will I be a leader or a follower? Whichever I choose, let me believe my choice is the best for me.

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Listening by reading

We need to listen to drug-free members of the program to hear what it takes to stay clean and sober. But “listening” is not limited to meetings: There is a lot of literature that discusses the program and how to work it more effectively.

When we first come into the program, it is wise to keep our mouths shut and our eyes and ears open. Reading books, magazines, and pamphlets is an important way of listening. It is a gift from our fellow addicts that so much listening is available to us.

Am I well read on the program?

Higher Power, help me to “listen” in all the ways available to me.

Today I will read

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

The creation of the world is not completed so long as we have not fulfilled our creative function in it.

~ MORDECAI KAPLAN ~

Newcomer

I’m interested in many different things, but I haven’t focused on one yet. I feel as if I should know what I want to do with my life by now.

Sponsor

We have the ability, as long as we stay in recovery, to find our path and to fulfill our dreams. If many paths are beckoning, it will take time to explore and to have experiences that will show us where we most want to focus. Many tools, from the spiritual to the practical—including the Steps, prayer, and vocational counseling—are available to help us. In time, narrowing our options will give us the power that comes from concentrating our attention. For today, let’s not rush to cross anything off the list.

Having been led to recovery and offered a second chance to live full lives, we don’t have the right to thwart our Higher Power by giving up on ourselves. We’re mistaken if we believe that we’ve outlived the possibility of being useful. We’re mistaken if we believe that, having lost time in the past, we now have no right to a future. Patience with ourselves and the process is necessary.

By staying in recovery today, I contribute toward the repair of the world.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

Our sobriety is dead-serious. It has to be, to work at all. With it we can retain all we now have, and the limits to which we can add to it are circumscribed only by our initiative and our ability. Without sobriety we are in danger of losing that which we already have.

Sobriety is life itself to us and without it life would again become a living death. To unnecessarily subject ourselves to temptations is another variation of playing “Russian Roulette.”

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

DICK B.’s PRAYER

Heavenly Father, I thank and praise You in the name of Jesus Christ, for delivering me from the power of darkness and translating me into the kingdom of Your dear son; for affirming that You are Yahweh, our Creator, who heals all our diseases, forgives all our iniquities, redeems our lives from destruction, and showers us with loving kindness and tender mercies; and who wishes above all things that we prosper and be in health.

I ask Your forgiveness for my sins of today. I ask for the cure of all my infirmities and those of my family and friends. I thank You that by confessing Jesus as my Lord and believing in my heart that You raised Him from the dead, I have become Your son, received remission of past sins, and been healed by Jesus' stripes. I can and do ask that You provide me with the wisdom to choose each day the way of Your will; that You strengthen and guide me to obeying Your will and resisting temptations; and that You lead me to those who hunger for, and want Your salvation and a full and accurate knowledge of Your truth.

I thank You for supplying all my needs; for keeping me, my family, my fellow believers, and friends safe and in perfect soundness, and for protecting and keeping safe our President, his administration, our governments, our service men and women, and our country.

I ask that doing all to Your glory and loving You and my brothers with all my heart, soul, mind, and strength be my hearty and daily service to You. I ask for all these things in the name of Your precious son, Jesus Christ.

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

THERE IS NO DEATH

RESURGAM

There is no death! The stars go down
To rise upon some other shore,
And bright in heaven's jeweled crown
They shine for evermore.

Time is no death! The dust we tread
Shall change beneath the summer showers
To golden grain, or mellow fruit,
Or rainbow-tinted flowers.
And ever near us, though unseen,
The dear immortal spirits tread;
For all the boundless universe
Is life?there are no dead!

~ John Luckey McCreery - "There Is No Death" ~

O death, where is thy sting? O grave, where is thy victory . . . But thanks be to God, which giveth us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ (1 Corinthians 15:55, 57).

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Free to Live Anew

Never look for the birds of this year in the nests of the last.

~ Miguel de Cervantes ~

One of the most profound acts of healing I have witnessed was that of a couple whose teenage son had sustained a brain injury. Before his auto accident, Tim had been a vital, popular, and athletic young man. Now he was slow of speech and motion, and although he was making progress with therapy, he still struggled to do simple acts that before he had taken for granted. At a seminar, his parents asked to create a release ceremony. "We need to say good-bye to the son we once knew so we can embrace the person he is now." Amid profuse tears and with tremendous courage, the couple each read a statement of love, appreciation, and release for the son who was no more, and made a declaration of acceptance and commitment to the person he had become. The healing and empowerment that accrued to them was tremendous, in sharp contrast to the pain they experienced in attempting to hold on to someone who no longer was.

Are you freezing yourself or a loved one in a cast from the past? Are you trying to force someone to be who they were rather than honoring who they are now? No one wants to be treated like the person they once were; we want to be appreciated for who we are. Come fully into the present with yourself and others, and you will liberate tremendous energy to love and bless what is, rather than bemoan what was, or what you wish would be.

Help me to see clearly and to honor the beauty before me now.

I accept the gifts before me, and I accept the highest in everyone, including myself.

June 27

Step by Step

"Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves." - Step Four

"If we have been thorough about our personal inventory, we have written down a lot. We have listed and analyzed our resentments. We have begun to comprehend their futility and their fatality. We have commenced to see their terrible destructiveness. We have begun to learn tolerance, patience and good will toward all men, even our enemies ...We have listed the people we have hurt by our conduct, and are willing to straighten out the past if we can." - Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, Ch 5 ("How It Works"), p 70.

Today, if the Fourth I took yesterday is not "a lot," chances are I have not been thorough. More likely, I have been dishonest by not accepting responsibility for damage I inflicted or by seeing myself as I hope instead of how I am. But putting to paper our misdeeds and injury to others is not sufficient. We are asked to perceive our defects as futile and fatal and begin to understand their damage. Further, we are compelled to begin learning "tolerance, patience and good will toward all men ..." and become willing to undo the damage. If I do not understand all this, the Fourth I took yesterday may have been premature or dishonest. Today, I seek the courage and understanding to do Step Four as it is intended. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

NOT GOD

First of all, we had to quit playing God. It didn’t work.

~ Big Book ~

The game we always lose is the game of playing God. When we attempt to take absolute control over either our own lives or the life of another, we only harm ourselves or them. When we inflict our own will on a situation, all we reveal is our own fear and insecurity.

Our Second Step reminds us that most of our problems have been of our own making. Until we quit trying to control everyone and everything, we could find no peace. As we work the Program with the belief that we're not God, today and tomorrow are far less frightening.

Many of us have been helped with the problem of grandiose thinking by the familiar slogan, “I can't, God can, l think I’ll let Him.”

Today I'll remember that if I try to play God, I'm crazy.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.

~ Isaiah 40:31~

The Third Step tells us that the path of recovery includes a “decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.” The ancient Hebrew text tells us poetically that wonderful things happen in our lives when we take this spiritual Step. We enter a paradox: turning our lives and will over to the care of our Higher Power in fact inspires us with greater strength.

Our own life stories, and the stories of healing and recovery that we hear from our friends and our mentors, illustrate this biblical wisdom. Our lives were a mess. We tried to control more than a man can control and we ended up out of control. The losses we paid were painful and heartbreaking. But when we chose to enter into a spiritual recovery, we felt we had rejoined the human family. We were inspired with a new sense of hope and energy and possibilities for our lives.

Today, again, I turn to my Higher Power for the care of my life and my will.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

We are all artists and our greatest creation is in the living of our lives.

~ Dudley Martineau ~

When we hear the word artist most of us think of someone like O’Keefe or Chicago or Wharton or Dickinson. But we certainly don’t think of ourselves as artists. Fortunately, this program is able to help us broaden our definition of artist. Using these Twelve Steps allows us to create whoever we really want to be.

Many of us imitated some bad role models for much of our lives. We willingly let others define us. Perhaps it seemed easier than taking charge of ourselves and creating who we really longed to be.

But using the tools of this program, we are able to decide exactly how we want to respond to every experience today. We can be the women we want to be. As we stand before the canvas of our lives, we are free to create a world of joy and serenity.

I will look to this program and my Higher Power for guidance as I create myself today.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I want to stay on track

For several weeks, I felt moody and irritable. Then I had a big fight with my family. It left me feeling sad and lost. I felt so bad, I was afraid I was going to get sick again.

So I promptly called my therapist and we talked about how to prevent a relapse. In simple terms, I agreed to (a) be aware of my triggers and watch out for urges to use; (b) keep up my medication; (c) go to a recovery meeting regularly; and (d) stay in touch with my personal and professional helpers.

I will review my relapse prevention plan with my sponsor and, when needed, ask for additional support.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

I will say of the Lord,
He is my refuge and my fortress:
my God; in Him will I trust.

~ Psalms 91:2 ~

Sometimes we come into a recovery program totally devoid of faith in anything or anybody. We are harboring many resentments and feel that God was not there for us when we really needed Him. Why should we believe He exists now? Many who have come before us have had this same dilemma.

These feelings are common because we are still in our addicted frame of mind. We want an answer now, we want to be healthy now. But what takes one person only a moment to accept might take another a lifetime.

Some of us may believe our Higher Power is our Twelve Step group, while another may understand God differently. When we are ready, we will believe in a Power greater than ourselves, and that power will be God as we understand Him. No one person has all the answers. Having faith in a Higher Power, however we may define Him, is but one stepping-stone in our recovery. But that stepping-stone becomes the very foundation of our spiritual program.

Today let me have faith that my life is protected by my Higher Power.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

There is always a “but” in this imperfect world.

~ Helen Keller ~

Often there is not a day that goes by without some tragic or upsetting news story. An act of terrorism, a natural disaster, or a school shooting can dominate the air waves and make it seem as if all there is in the world are tragedy, loss, and immeasurable sorrow. At those times when the world seems to be crashing down around you, you may be tempted to look at your addiction from a different perspective.

You may consider, for instance, how minor your addiction is compared to everything else that is going on. So you might tell yourself, “Okay, I think I have a problem with alcohol. But maybe my problem isn’t so bad after all.” Or you may think, “But all I did was just knock over a trash can when I was drunk. It’s not as if I killed someone.” Maintaining sobriety can be an extremely difficult task. But you make it more difficult whenever you spend more time trying to find excuses than doing what it is you need to do in your recovery. While it is true that sometimes there is too much tragedy and negative news, such things should not be taken as reasons for you to take a break from your recovery.

Today I will not excuse myself from my recovery.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

If we want to keep living with ourselves, we must keep on trying, trying, trying.

~ Robert J. White, M.D. ~

Tonight we may feel we failed in some way today. Even though we may have done our best, we may now believe we could have done more, done it better, or tried harder, then things would be different now.

But there are things beyond our control. One of them is the outcome of any circumstance. We cannot expect that, if we do all we can, all will be well. Even the most skilled surgeon loses patients. The surgeon knows the grace of God is with the patient, no matter what the outcome.

The grace of God is in our lives and the lives of those around us. Though we strive to do our best and to make everything better, we need to remember the outcomes are not in our control. How we accept them, however, is in our control.

Higher Power, help me keep trying to do my best, no matter what the outcome.

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Dropping biases

Addiction is not biased, nor should we be biased in the program. Whatever our beliefs before we found this solution, it helps if we avoid letting them interfere with our Step Twelve work. There are few enough places where people are accepted regardless of status, religion, nationality, or appearance.

Each of us needs everyone else in the fellowship. Whether laborer or judge, white or black, addict or alcoholic, if she or he can carry the message of recovery, he or she can save your life. Am I letting go of all bias?

Higher Power, help me let go of my biases so that I can better help save lives.

Today I will take an inventory of my biases and practice letting them go by

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

Friends are not so easily made as kept.

~ GEORGE SAVILLE ~

Newcomer

I stay near recovering people, as you’ve suggested. I speak with people at meetings and make phone calls, but I’m uncomfortable with so much sharing all the time. Sometimes I feel as if I can’t face all these people, people, people.

Sponsor

At first, we may be overwhelmed by the array of personalities we encounter. We lack experience and skill at sober interactions; every encounter may feel intense and exhausting. Our sense of personal boundaries may be weak; we wonder how to deal with other people’s needs and demands without obliterating ourselves. We crave intimacy, but fear that we’re not ready for what it would require. Without our addictions to escape into, we sometimes feel like bolting. A solo trip across country may appeal to us more than a ten-minute coffee break at a meeting.

We can take the pressure off ourselves to get it right all at once. Group activities, like going to a coffee shop for “the meeting after the meeting,” are a relaxed way to get used to being with others. Making friends is a gradual process. We have the right to take this process slowly and not rush into commitments—romantic or otherwise. We have choices. Over time, it becomes clear whether spending time with a particular person makes life better or worse. We learn how to satisfy our needs for both companionship and solitude.

Today, I practice “Easy does it” in my developing relationships with others.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

AA is not fundamentally a philosophy, but it is rather a program of active living. To commit the Big Book to memory, to listen attentively to all the group speakers will not guarantee continued sobriety.

The knowledge gained thereby, put into your everyday living, will make drinking practically impossible and certainly unenjoyable. If we fail to make the Program an integral part of our everyday living, we are almost sure to have some rough times ahead.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

HEART OF A CHILD

Grant me, O God,
The heart of a child,
Pure and transparent as a spring,
A simple heart,
Which never harbors sorrows;
A heart glorious in self-giving,
Tender in compassion,
A heart faithful and generous,
Which will never forget any good
Or bear a grudge for any evil.

Make me a heart gentle and humble,
Loving without asking in return,
Large-hearted and undauntable,
Which no ingratitude can sour,
And no indifference weary,
A heart born to help others,
Usefulness never measured.

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

ALL GOD'S UNIVERSE

What is nature? What we call nature is a small part of God's universe that we are able to see at the present time, and much of which we see awry. All the wonderful things that are going on in the woods, all the marvelous happenings that take place in the depths of the ocean, the whole sublime story of the heavens, are all parts of God's self-expression. Above all, our own bodies themselves are part of nature, perhaps the most wonderful part of all; and probably the part about which we ourselves know least.

But ask now the beasts, and they shall teach thee; and the fowls of the air, and they shall tell thee: Or speak to the earth, and it shall teach thee: and the fishes of the sea shall declare unto thee. Who knoweth not in all these that the hand of the Lord hath wrought this? In whose hand is the soul of every living thing and the breath of all mankind . . . . With him is wisdom and strength, he hath counsel and understanding (Job 12:7-10, 13 ).

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Lottery Winners

You cannot serve both God and money.

~ Jesus Christ ~

I was stunned to learn that New York now has support groups for lottery winners. Apparently, for some people, winning the lottery causes more problems than it solves! Those who hit the jackpot have to deal with all sorts of situations they're not prepared for. Suddenly they have friends they never knew they had; they have to be responsible for managing the money, create productive free time after they quit their job, deal with ex-spouses who want a cut, hire body-guards to protect their kids from kidnapping at day care, and on and on. Some lottery winners spend it all on shoes, others fight with their relatives, others turn to addictions and, sadly, some commit suicide. In many cases, the windfall does not end the recipients' problems; it just substitutes new ones for the old.

What these lottery winners really need is not the money, but the consciousness to handle it. The ego tells us, "lf I just had this brass ring from the outside world, I would be happy." But because we are spiritual beings, it is the inside world that determines our happiness.

I worked in a store that was losing money because the owner had a negative and irresponsible attitude. He asked for a large capital loan from a local entrepreneur, who came to me for a reference. I had to tell him the truth. While the owner blamed his failure on every external circumstance, the source of his problems was his own way of thinking. He could have received millions of dollars of capital, but it would all have gone out of the same consciousness hole that his original money had slipped out of. What the owner needed was not money, but more wisdom.

Do not pray for a particular external event; pray for the consciousness to sustain the quality of experience you desire. Then you will not only attract your good-you will be able to enjoy it.

Show me how to use Your gifts wisely. Let me know who I am, that I may manifest real success.

My good flows to me effortlessly by right of my divine thoughts.

June 28

Step by Step

Today ..."having had a spiritual awakening." Today, ask seriously and honestly what "spiritual awakening" means. If I talk the program's talk but don't walk the walk, I am little more than a dry drunk and have missed one of recovery's most elusive and cherished accomplishments - a fundamental change emotionally and spiritually. If I talk of adherence to service to the program and other alcoholics who still suffer but beg off because I am too busy to give someone a ride to a meeting, my talk about being in service is little more than self-righteous, self-serving, sanctimonious ego-blowing. Today, I need to ask if I have truly undergone the basic requirement of a spiritual awakening - a fundamental change in attitude, perspective and spirituality. And if I conclude that I have not, it's back to the basics of the program. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

SHARING

Not what we give but what we share. For a gift without the giver is bare.

~ J.R. Lowell ~

The magic of abstinence is always based on the joy of sharing. None of us can be only a giver or a receiver. In order to share, we must be both a giver and a receiver.

Nothing ever comes to someone who only holds open his arms and says, “Give to me, I'm ready to enjoy rewards." Because the rewards we receive come from the joy of giving, we must give to receive. This is called sharing.

The miracle of sharing is building the confidence that we are able to give to others, and take the rewards into our hearts. Sharing brings joy to everyone involved. It is a two-way process between giving and receiving. One can't exist without the other. Recovery can't exist without either of them.

Today, I'll remember that by sharing I give to and receive from others and they do the same for me.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

It is perfectly true, as philosophers say, that life must be understood backwards. But they forget the other proposition, that it must be lived forwards.

~ Soren Kierkegaard ~

Real life presents us with unexpected puzzles and challenges. Like going on a trip, part of the reason for going is to experience the unexpected. Looking forward on our path, we see bends and turns ahead and we don’t know what’s around them. So we look forward to them with a mixture of anticipation and concern.

This adventure of life deepens with the understanding we get from our past experiences. What we have already learned sharpens our skills for dealing with today, and still we will meet new surprises, and we will continue to learn. Even though we have no control over what appears on our path, there is no need for fear or panic because we have turned our lives over to the care of our Higher Power. We will learn how to deal with it.

Today I rely on what I have learned about life, and I trust in God to support me.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

When friends say I’m their anchor, I am grateful for the knowledge that I can trust them to sail without me.

~ DMG ~

An important element of this recovery program is our willingness to be there for other women. In the wreckage of the past, we seldom were. Our focus was narrow; we were self-centered, jealous, and full of fear. Now we can be counted on, at least part of the time. Being a friend, a real friend, to another woman is a gift to both of us.

Let’s not take care of each other, however, even though that’s the plea on occasion. Being a friend doesn’t mean doing for someone what she needs to do for herself. It means simply being there to listen, to love, to offer suggestions, to pray. In the end, we all have to be in charge of ourselves. Being good role models for one another is a genuine advantage of this program.

I will be a friend today and share myself, my love, and my prayers with others. I need friends too. They will be there for me.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I have friends

I used to feel especially alone on a crowded bus or a busy sidewalk. I could hardly talk to anyone; it seemed like other people weren't part of my world. I was lonely and scared (and angry). But I didn't know what to do.

Two friends helped me when I most needed it‒when I couldn't help myself. Together, they got me to a psychiatrist, who taught me about my illness. It was such a relief when the medication she prescribed started working. I didn't know how troubled or isolated I really was. With medication and now therapy, I am getting connected to the world again. I feel much better. And I am very grateful to my helpers.

I will ash a friend to call me tonight just to see how I'm doing; then, tomorrow night, I will call her.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

I am weaving the linen of night and day.

~ Kabir ~

As time passes and we go through each day, we weave the tapestry of our lives. There are snags in some places and lumps in others, but the overall beauty is only enhanced by these elements. The craftsmen of India, with their fine skills, each make one intentional flaw in their work to help them remember they are human and only God can make something perfect.

So it is with our recovery. We create the beauty of our lives just by living. We may like some areas of the weaving more than others, but it is all beautiful in relationship to the whole. When our critical eyes are too sharp, we get into trouble. When we put on our glasses of acceptance and willingness, we can see the finery which we and our Higher Power have been weaving together.

Today help me see life and living as an art. Help me trust the fact that each experience is as it should be. Help me let each day and each night become a part of my weaving and allow God’s hand to guide the process.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

There never was a night that had no morn.

~ Dinah Mulock Craik ~

When he was serving as a Green Beret medic in Vietnam, Doug Peacock carried with him what he called his “landscape of hope.” It was an old road map of the Rocky Mountains, and he took it with him always. Whenever he could, he would take out his landscape of hope and study it. He would look at the roads that had been carved out years ago into the mountains and stare into the empty spaces between those roads. He tried to imagine the rugged wilderness, the smell of pine, and the stillness at the highest altitudes. He held onto the hope that he would someday be able to leave the horrors of war behind him and experience the wilderness for himself.

Upon his discharge, Peacock journeyed through Wyoming and Montana, camping and living off the land. Grizzly bears were some of his companions, but mostly he experienced solitude. Over time, Peacock was able to let his landscape of hope become his reality. He devoted his life to saving the untamed domain of the grizzly and transformed his hope into a reality.

What can you imagine for yourself today? What will you hope for?

Today I will create a landscape of hope to guide me.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

Anger blows out the lamp of the mind.

~ Robert Green Ingersoll ~

When we feel anger, our hearts pound faster and we feel warmer. We can go through our daily motions and from the outside look as if all was well. But under the surface is a pot of boiling anger that we keep stoked throughout the day.

Remaining angry for more than a few minutes can be as dangerous as letting a cancerous growth go untreated. It will overtake our healthy thoughts and bodies until we become emotionally and physically sick. We'll become sicker the longer we let anger run our mental, spiritual, and physical selves.

The time to deal with anger is the moment we feel it, not later. If we can't confront the source of our anger at the moment, we still need to let go of it. Getting out our anger doesn't necessarily mean yelling, throwing things, or setting ultimatums. Letting our anger go means letting it be felt and expressed, then releasing it. Anger with obsession makes us sick; anger with expression keeps us sane and healthy.

Am I holding on to anger from the past? I can let go of this anger tonight and not let it rule me.

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Practicing

To recover, we must change; it doesn’t hap-pen by itself. Change requires practice. If we get lazy about our recovery, if we get smug or self-satisfied, we may stop practicing. If so, we may lose what we have gained, risk a slip, or even relapse.

In recovery, practice is all-important. Staying clean and sober takes practice. For starters, we must practice carrying the mes-sage to others who still suffer.

Higher Power, help me practice the program so that I can keep growing and recovering.

Today I will work on

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

Housekeeping ain’t no joke.

~ LOUISA MAY ALCOTT ~

Newcomer

I’m living in the same place where I hit bottom. I’m surrounded by reminders of my active life. I’d like to move or overhaul the place, but I don’t have a choice right now. I don’t have the money or the time.

Sponsor

As we continue caring for ourselves, the physical spaces we inhabit reflect our new self-esteem, clarity, and open-mindedness in recovery. It’s a West Indian custom to buy a new broom for cleaning house after a move or major life change. I’ve tried it, and it worked; it inspired me to begin cleaning housel Of course, swept floors, made beds, and clear tabletops aren’t everyone’s idea of an orderly household; standards and personal needs and styles differ. What matters is maintaining our homes in a way that reflects our true selves and fosters our growing recovery.

Cleaning house is a state of mind. We need light and air in our surroundings, both literally and figuratively. Any time in recovery is a good time for sorting things out and letting go of what no longer fits us, whether it’s an article of clothing or a relationship. It’s something that we do periodically, throughout our lives. It may sometimes be painful, but it’s necessary. It makes room for change.

Today, I let go of what no longer sustains me.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

Exactly what is AA worth to you? Have you ever figured that out? Make a written list sometime of the benefits you have derived from your sobriety. Try hard to make an honest evaluation of what it would be worth to you in dollars and cents. How much have you benefited, financially, socially?

Then make another list−how much has AA benefited by your membership? Are you trying to give as much as you have received? If not, you are getting something for nothing and that isn’t honest. You can never square the debt but you can probably give a little better try than you have been doing.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

KAREN C.'s PRAYER

Today, I pray, I will:
Talk to someone who can help me;
Own my true destiny;
Compliment someone;
Get to know myself better;
Work to create a promising future;
Take advantage of my opportunities;
Allow myself to feel whole;
Use my support system;
Be honorable in my intentions;
Be inspired by the achievements of others;
Have the courage to own the truth;
Act as if there are no obstacles;
Treat myself and others with respect.
Today and from now on I will end
Every prayer with "Thy will be done."

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

REINCARNATION

Have you ever asked yourself why there should be such a difference between one human lot and another? Have you ever wondered why some people seem to be so happy and fortunate in their lives, while others appear to undergo so much undeserved suffering. To the honest and fearless soul, the problem of the inequality of human lives is one that clamors for solution.

Men and women are not born free and equal. They are created free and equal, but they are not born free and equal. They start this life like horses in a handicap race−no two bearing an equal burden. Now, why should this be, if indeed God is Love, and if God is just, and if God is all-powerful?

The answer is that this life that you are living today is not the only life, and that it cannot be understood or judged by itself. You have lived before, in different ages and in different civilizations. Some of those who are at the bottom of the social ladder today have walked the earth as kings, and generals, and high priests; and some who now sit in the seats of the mighty have toiled as peasants, or worn the chains of the slave. And you, yourself, in future ages, will very likely return to this earth planet and live out another life. The conditions under which you start that life will be the outcome of the lives you have already lived; but most particularly will they be the outcome of the life that you are living at the present. What is customarily called a lifetime is really but a comparatively brief day in a long, long life, and the circumstances into which you were born are the natural outcome of the way in which you have lived and comported yourself in your former lives. You are reaping today the results of the seeds that you have sown during these many previous lives.

. . . He which soweth sparingly shall reap also sparingly, and he which soweth bountifully shall reap also bountifully (2 Corinthians 9:6 ).

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

A Place for God

Welcome me not into a manger but into the altar to holiness, where holiness abides in perfect peace.

~ A Course in Miracles ~

For many years, I have kept an altar in my home. An altar is a place where the presence of God is remembered and honored. To establish an altar is far more than a ritualistic observance; it is a high and holy gift to yourself.

We decorate our homes with photos, works of art, statues, plants, and memorabilia that lift our minds and hearts and remind us of the people, places and experiences that make us happy. Since God is the source of the deepest happiness, we magnify our joy when we adorn our home with symbols of Spirit's presence.

While all religions have altars, an altar need not belong to a particular religion. You can build an altar that represents you. Set aside a table, corner, or room as your sacred space. On your altar, place photos of great beings who inspire you, books or quotations of wisdom, candles, crystals, feathers, or any symbols of love and beauty, such as special rocks or seashells. Do your prayer, meditation, or spiritual practice at your altar space, and keep the energy field clear of jangling influences, such as chit-chat, arguments, or television. Keep the area clean and beautiful, and before long it will generate a magnificent peace and healing energy. The moment you enter your altar area, you will feel the presence of God and your sacred self. Any space you dedicate to Spirit will bless you many times over.

I pray to keep You in my life. Help me to remember Your presence throughout each day.

God gives my life meaning.

June 29

Step by Step

"Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity." - Step Two

" ...(W)e believe there is no middle-of-the-road solution. We were in a position where life was becoming impossible, and if we had passed into the region from which there is no return through human aid, we had but two alternatives: One was to go on to the bitter end, blotting out the consciousness of our intolerable situation as best we could; and the other, to accept spiritual help. This we did because we honestly wanted to, and were willing to make the effort." - Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, Ch 2 ("There Is a Solution"), pp 25-6.

Today, accept that the one entity I trusted to run my life - myself - didn't worked. If I am in "the region from which there is no return," may I want and be willing to accept the possibility that a power stronger than my self-will exists. If I am still caught up in the myth that the spiritual entity is religious, maybe I have already set myself as being unwilling to find my own higher power. In holding onto unwillingness and not opening myself to the possibility, the recovery I seek probably is not in the cards, especially if I continue to do it my way although it has shown me time after time after time and time and time again that I simply cannot do it on my own. Today, enough is enough, and I take the step to at least consider the possibility that something better, stronger and wiser than myself can help me do it. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

If God seems far away, who moved?

Anonymous ~

We travelled near and far to find a relationship with God. We spent hours looking for God in nature or the stars. We listened to many enlightened speakers to obtain a glimpse of God's presence. The harder we tried to find God, the further removed God was from our lives. We lived our lives as if we had lost God. We thought that if we searched hard enough, we could find Him.

The new world we have found in recovery shows us what has always been there. While we were searching, we were never living with what we had. God will never be nearer to us than He is right now. Our responsibility in life is to keep our conscious contact with our Higher Power free and open. When God seems far away, that contact needs to be renewed.

When I meditate, pray, and keep my inventory current, God always is with me because I am with God. I no longer need to search for something that can't be lost.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

We only have one person to blame, and that’s each other.

~ Barry Beck, NHL player ~

Blame is not a word that works well for us. It is an attack word, a negative assault that fails to point toward anything better. Much better is the word responsible. When a man opens a door and accidentally knocks down a child on the other side, he is responsible for his action, and he reaches down to help the child up again. It is nothing to be ashamed of or blamed for. He isn’t a bad person for doing that. But he takes responsibility.

Blame and responsibility are difficult matters for us to separate. Many of us have felt blamed and shamed from our earliest memories. As a result, when we are responsible, we have a knee-jerk impulse to feel ashamed. But taking responsibility without shame is what a strong man does. We can learn to separate them, and as we do, our self-esteem rises.

Today I will take responsibility for my actions and respect myself for doing so.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

If what we are doing with our anger is not achieving the desired result, it would seem logical to try something different.

~ Harriet Lerner ~

How productive is anger? There is more than one school of thought. Some say we addicts can’t afford to be angry. Others warn against repressing It. Learning simply to recognize anger is a big step for many of us. One thing we all agree on is that anger is a powerful feeling that affects us in many ways. If it goes unacknowledged, our relations with others are damaged.

Anger is uncomfortable for many of us. We feel It often enough, but it makes us nervous anyway. Frequently we think we must be doing something wrong or we wouldn’t be angry. Sometimes that’s true. However, anger always signals that it’s time to assess what we are projecting onto the situations or the people in our midst. Anger doesn’t just happen. It’s sown and cultivated by us.

If I get angry today I will look for the reason within myself. I can’t change others, but I can change myself.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I am working a dual program of recovery

In Twelve Step literature my three-part problem is labeled physical, emotional, and spiritual. In mental health literature, it is sometimes termed "biopsychosocial."

Whatever terms are used, the important part is that I am getting better by working a combined program of recovery, recovery for both my addiction and my emotional illness. Taking care of my addiction improves my mental health. Taking care of my mental health diminishes my difficulties with addiction.

I can support my recovery by taking part in a combined Twelve Step and mental health recovery group, such as Dual Recovery Anonymous or Double Trouble.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

He that has patience may compass anything.

~ Francois Rabelais ~

When we choose to live one day at a time, one moment at a time, we regain a more accurate, balanced perspective. This form of self-love and growth is impossible during active addiction. Now by living at a slower pace, acting thoughtfully instead of simply reacting, we get better at learning to savor the simple things.

Now we can choose to abandon the stress of commuter traffic and watch the sky long enough to spot a red-tailed hawk. We can take time to notice the fall colors throughout the woods. We can go for a walk and listen for the splash of fish feeding in the water. Or we can simply smell the rain-soaked earth while on our way to an afternoon appointment. This attention to the present is a way to combat old and familiar worries and enjoy life’s small wonders. Recovery challenges us to experience a purer joy, a more honest charm and magic, and it gives us the energy and clarity to appreciate all we see.

Today let me take life in small, manageable, delightful pieces.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

There are some people who see a great deal and some who see very little in the same things.

~ T.H. Huxley ~

When you are asleep, you are at peace. Your body is stilled and your mind—even when caught in a dream—is quieted. But from the moment you open your eyes in the morning, you are greeted by a nonstop cacophony of sensual activity. Are you aware of all of the activity around you?

You may see daylight but not notice whether it is raining or sunny. You may be stalled by traffic but not hear its sounds. You may drink coffee but not take in its freshly brewed aroma. Throughout the day, you may hold conversations, participate in meetings, make decisions, run errands, eat lunch, work against deadlines, and juggle activities. You may do all these things with total awareness and immersion in each activity, or you may rush through your day paying it only peripheral attention.

But the more in tune you are with everything and the more willing you are to embrace the action around you, the more capable you are of seeing the transitions and transformations within each day—and the better able you will be to more fully appreciate and respond to your life.

Today I will learn more about myself and all of the things in my life by developing greater awareness.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

If you can't be thankful for what you receive, be thankful for what you escape.

~ Anonymous ~

Those Jews who were fortunate enough to evade the clutches of the Third Reich were extremely grateful for their escape from family separations, torture, and death. Even though they may have fled their homes, possessions, friends, and businesses, and had little food in their stomachs, they could give thanks for what they did have: their lives and hope for a better future.

How thankful are we for what we have? Many times we aren't grateful for the shirts on our backs and food in our stomachs. We criticize our lives and our family, perhaps even ourselves. We find we aren't happy, healthy, mature, or serene enough. But imagine for a moment what it was like in our pre-recovery days.

Remember pain, sickness, confusion, anger, hopelessness? We've escaped from the bleakness of the past. But if we can't be grateful for the good in our lives tonight, we've not learned a thing from the program. To be grateful for our new path of discovery, all we need to do is look back at the rocky road we used to travel.

Tonight I can be grateful for what I've gained and what is gone.

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Living the “today” approach

We must understand from the very beginning that in the program, we learn to live one day at a time. We learn, for example, not to take that first fix, pill, or drink “today.” This is easier for us to do than to think of abstaining for years or a lifetime.

But many of us miss the fact that the “today” approach can be applied to all areas of our life, not just abstinence. It helps if we can deal with issues such as love, sex, death, honesty, and resentments one day at a time. God expects no more of us than to do what we can do today.

Am I living “today” today?

God, help me live the “today” approach in all areas of my life.

Today I will apply the “today” approach to

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

Life is not life at all without delight.

~ COVENTRY PATMORE ~

Newcomer

I’m tired of following the same routines week after week, month after month. I’ve been thinking about taking a trip for a few days. I know, I know—you warned me about “geographic changes.” But I want to do something different.

Sponsor

Congratulations. I’m glad that you’re planning to have some fun, and that you’re not using program wisdom to beat yourself with.

Change is good for us. It can help wake up and refresh our spirits, show us things we haven’t seen before, give us a new perspective on our ordinary lives. We can travel thousands of miles or stay close to home, as long as we take the principles and habits of recovery with us. Wherever we are, we can read a piece of program literature, pray for help staying in recovery, or phone our sponsors. The loving guidance of our Higher Power goes with us.

As we travel, it may be possible to attend meetings of our own Twelve Step fellowship or an open meeting of one of the many other Twelve Step programs. We can get listings ahead of time by making phone calls to our own program headquarters, and we can check local newspapers and phone directories when we arrive. Belonging to this fellowship is a little bit like having a membership in an international club; we can meet the “locals,” wherever we go, by attending a meeting. The faces may be different, but the program is the same.

Today, I refresh my spirit by trying something unfamiliar.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

To pity distress is a natural human characteristic, except in the case of the poor drunk. The hospitals want no part of him. He brought it on himself and besides they need their beds for really sick people Many doctors won’t make a house call if they suspect the patient has been drinking and when they do, their medication consists for the most part of something to knock him out and keep him quiet. People who spend hours raising funds for the tubercular and the cancerous call a cop when they see a drunk.

God knows the drunk and He also knows human nature, and so He invented AA.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

FREE FROM FEAR

O God, for another day, for another morning, for another hour, for another chance to live and serve You, I am truly grateful. According to Your will, this day free me:
From fear of the future;
From anxiety of the morrow;
From bitterness toward anyone;
From cowardice in face of danger;
From laziness in face of work;
From failure before opportunity;
From weakness when Your power is at hand
And fill me with:
Love that knows no barrier;
Courage that cannot be shaken;
Faith through the darkness;
Strength sufficient for my tasks;
Loyalty to the Fellowship;
Wisdom to meet life’s complexities.
Be with me another day and use me as You will.

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

INEVITABLE RECKONING

When you understand that this present life is only one day in your long life, and that at the change called death you simply disappear unto the next plane, to come back again later on−perhaps several hundred years later-then the events of this particular life appear in their true proportion, and then you begin to have dominion. The events of this life will not appear less important because of your new knowledge, but they will no longer intimidate you, because you will know that you can control them. No seeming misfortune will any longer have power to break your heart or weaken your courage. You will understand life as the wondrous opportunity and the glorious gift that it is.

It is true that when you return you will have to meet the same types of problems but the conditions will be utterly different. Also, you will probably meet some of your present associates again, particularly if there is an emotional link either of love or hatred between you. Love will take care of itself; but you must get all hatred out of your heart, if you do not want to renew disagreeable contacts.

A thorough understanding of this doctrine makes us more tolerant. It leads us to do everything we can to make the path of others easier so as to facilitate their personal evolution and that of the race. In our own lives we face up to our difficulties courageously, knowing that to run away is to postpone the day of reckoning.

. . . all the churches know that I am he which searcheth the reins and hearts: and I will give unto every one of you according to your works (Revelation 2:23).

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

More Than Four

How can love survive in such a faceless age?

~ from "Forgiveness," by singer/songwriter Don Henley ~

The Center for Lifestyle Management reported that the average American couple spends approximately four minutes a day in meaningful conversation. This is a sobering statement about the meager level of intimacy for which most people have settled. At the same time, many people report a sense of emptiness in their lives. How can we expect to feel fulfilled if we do not tell each other the truth about who we are and what we feel?

The quality of communication may be mapped out on a diagram similar to an archery target. The most shallow level, indicated by the outermost ring, is news and gossip, which requires no personal disclosure or investment and moves attention away from the speakers. The next level is my opinions and judgments, in which we reveal a little bit of ourselves, but restrict our communication to intellectual chatter. A deeper and more rewarding level embraces my feelings; at this level we begin to bring into the light what is going on unseen within us. The next ring is my most vulnerable feelings and experiences, which are the most difficult (and most rewarding) to share, as we make ourselves naked in our pain and ecstasy. At the bull's-eye, we enter into unspeakable unity. At this level, we feel so joined with our partner that words would only detract from the golden beauty of the moment.

To create more fulfilling lives, we must speak to each other with more intimacy. The word intimacy is built on "into me see." If you want more intimacy in your life, let others see into you more, and let them know that you can see into them. Then, meaningful communication will not be resigned to a few scraps, but will nourish you like a rich banquet.

Help me penetrate to the heart in my communications with others.

I am intimately joined with my beloveds and with God.

June 30

Step by Step

"Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out." - Step Eleven

"As we go through the day we pause, when agitated or doubtful, and ask for the right thought or action. We constantly remind ourselves we are no longer running the show, humbly saying to ourselves many times each day, 'Thy will be done.' We are then in much less danger of excitement, fear, anger, worry, self-pity, or foolish decisions. We become much more efficient." - Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, Ch 6 ("Into Action"), pp 87-8.

Today, the 11th Step is the logical extension of Step Three - "Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him." In handing off to my higher power my self-will, it is proper that I begin each day and take on any problem by asking through prayer and meditation what His will is for me instead of plunging into the habit of doing it my way. My way generated anger, fear, worry and self-pity, and a host of other destructive feelings. Today, I can do without them, and an "easier, softer way" is to let a higher power who is stronger and wiser than me call the shots. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

INTUITION

When we listen, God speaks. When we obey, God works.

~ Anonymous ~

Recovery opens up our sixth sense of intuition. This sense is our path to truth, to spirituality, to our Higher Power. The old-timers we look to for guidance always have keen intuition. They know things about us before we do. They say things to us that cut through to our core. These men and women are really no different from us, except that they have learned to trust their intuition and, therefore, their contact with their Higher Power.

We were all sceptical about the power of intuition when we were new to the Fellowship. We protested that we ha d education, we wanted scientific proof, absolute evidence that the Program worked. The old-timers who listened to our protests just shrugged their shoulders and gave us a knowing smile.

I must trust my intuition as my mind and heart are healed. I receive the promises of the Program when I can respond to my intuition and base my actions on its truth.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

The man who has no imagination has no wings.

~ Muhammad Ali ~

The most important creative project we have is our own lives, and imagination is a rich inner resource to guide us. We can develop our imagination if we give ourselves permission to dream and to let go of the bonds of reality and our immediate situation.

If I could be anywhere in the world right now, where would I want to be? What would I be doing? Who would be there with me? If I took a break from all my responsibilities for a day, what would I do with the day? What is it like to be another person, such as my best friend, my boss, my child? How would I most like to celebrate my next birthday? If today were the last day of my life, how would I want to live this day? If I could accomplish only one more thing in my life, what would I choose?

Today I will let my thoughts take wing and fly into the creative world of imagination.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

It is never the circumstances, but only our thoughts about circumstances, that create our state of mind.

~ Jane Nelsen ~

We all have at least one friend who seems unruffled by the unpredictable and changing circumstances of her life. How does she do it? People like her seem to trust that God is in charge and all things are happening for our ultimate good. While we scurry around, fretting and controlling as much as we can—usually to no avail—she stays quiet and feels blessed by her life.

The difference between her and us is the frantic activity that consumes our minds. We tend to react continuously to the events around us. Until now, observing events rather than reacting to them was never an option. But taking charge of our lives in this fashion releases our anxiety and fills us with peace. With time and practice we’ll experience the serenity that our friend feels.

I have control of my thoughts. Nothing can upset me today unless I choose to let it.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I need to focus on today

Some days I wake up and feel bad about what I did (or didn’t do) the day before-for instance, call my good friend back or take my medication. Some days I wake up and feel vaguely anxious about my future‒tomorrow for instance, can I remain abstinent and stable?

In dual recovery it helps when I forgive myself and let go of yesterday. It helps when I accept the fact that I am powerless over tomorrow. But what I can change and what I am responsible for is today, this moment. (You could say, this moment is my life.) And if I take care of my recovery needs right now, tomorrow will take care of itself.

I will carefully follow the activities in today’s daily recovery plan.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

If we could learn to like ourselves, even a little, maybe our cruelties and angers might melt away.

~ John Steinbeck ~

From the day we’re born until the day we die, we live closely, intimately, with one person: ourselves. We are our own judge and jury, often in a harsh, self- imposed “courtroom” setting.

Now, in recovery, we can take a new, honest, and loving look at ourselves. We can recognize our assets as well as our liabilities. As we become more worthy of trust, our self-respect and self-esteem grow. As we accept our Higher Power’s love for us, we learn to forgive ourselves, and handle our fragile selves with new care. We become our own best friend. With kindness and caring, we break through the years and layers of pain and find the joyful child who is growing into a healthy, loving adult.

Today as I grow in recovery, I pray that I may learn to like myself better and treat myself and others in a healthy, cheerful way.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

Your thorns are the best part of you.

~ Marianne Moore ~

What is hidden within the cocoon spun by a caterpillar is a mystery. Yet within that cocoon is something that lives and will eventually be revealed in a different living form through a marvelous transformation.

Life is made up of many mysteries and, whether you realize it or not, you are one of them. Your life before you entered the program was full of all of those things that make up a good mystery—suspense, the unknown, deception, and conflicts. But your work in recovery helps you to unfold the mystery of who you are. The more you know about yourself, the greater your understanding will be. And, through this understanding, you are more capable of transforming yourself.

Step Six brings you to the point where you are ready to have God remove your defects of character. You have become aware of your own mysteries by making a searching and fearless moral inventory of yourself in Step Four, and you have admitted the nature of your wrongs to God and to another human being. You have, with honesty and courage, looked deep within yourself so you can see those things that you need to change. You can rise up with a greater lightness of being and transform your life into something better.

Today I am ready to be transformed.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

Victory is not won in miles, but in inches. Win a little now, hold your ground, and later win a little more.

~ Louis L'Amour ~

For athletes to succeed as runners, they must not stop after their first race is won. To become the best, they need constant practice and warm-ups, and race after race. Some races they will win; others they won't. But in each race they will have achieved another step in their success as a runner.

We, too, must set goals and achieve them step by step. When we entered the program, our goal may have been to know ourselves well enough to make decisions. We then entered "little races" that led toward that goal: sharing our feelings, asking for help, taking our Fourth Step, telling a friend what we wanted to do. Each time we accomplished one, we moved closer to our goal.

We need to give ourselves credit for all the "little races" we've won. If we look not to the goal but to the path, we will see we are gaining ground step by step.

I can take another step toward my goals. Each small step deserves recognition and praise.

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Being clean and sober means much more than just being abstinent; it’s a state of mind. Simply staying away from that first fix, pill, or drink is not the only goal. If we are merely abstinent and are not actively working on our recovery, we will still crave alcohol or other drugs.

Being in recovery means not just abstinence but a way of life. In recovery we try to become better people and in the process, find we no longer need a fix, pill, or drink. This is the difference between abstinence and being in recovery.

Am I actively working on my recovery?

Higher Power, I am grateful for my abstinence, and I pray for your help to do what I need to do to recover.

I will work on my recovery today by

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

They resemble us in more ways than they differ from us.

~ PEARL BUCK ~

Newcomer

I heard somebody complaining about "special-interest meetings.” He said that we’re here to solve our common problem, and that it isn’t really program if we limit ourselves to homogeneous groups.

Sponsor

Those of us who live in sparsely populated areas don’t have a wide choice of meetings; we attend what’s available. If our community is ethnically or economically homogeneous, then so are our meetings—in which case, we’re not all that different from those attending special-interest groups elsewhere. If we live in more densely populated areas, we may find meetings that appeal to specific constituencies: wheelchair-accessible meetings, meetings interpreted for the deaf, gay and lesbian meetings, Spanish-speaking meetings, young people’s meetings, women’s meetings, and others. For me, it’s a privilege to attend both some special-interest meetings, where the similarity of my experiences with others’ is comforting, and some very diverse meetings, where addiction and recovery are almost the only common denominators.

According to Twelve Step tradition, each group governs itself independently, refraining from decisions that would endanger other groups or our anonymous fellowship as a whole. A group can’t formally affiliate itself with a political party, religion, or educational institution, for example, nor can it accept money from outside interests.

It’s a blessing that this fellowship is large enough, in both numbers and spirit, to accommodate our variety.

Today, I appreciate both the differences and the similarities between myself and others.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

We are very apt to travel in the direction we are headed. Even the brightest of sunshiny days appears overcast if we wear black glasses. If we enter a restaurant by the rear door we will undoubtedly find garbage cans, smoked and grimy walls and hear the discord of pots and pans. If you enter by the front door you will find cleanliness and order.

Let us enter each new day by the front door.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

SEARCY W.’s PRAYER

I pray today to:
Trust God,
Clean house,
Help others.

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

OUR LONG SCHOOLING

Why is reincarnation necessary? Why do we come back for short excursions of perhaps seventy or eighty years instead of, let us say, living one very long lifetime of perhaps a thousand or even several thousand years?

The explanation lies in man's reluctance to adopt new ideas and adapt himself to changing conditions. In each new experience, however, he wants to do things in new ways; then as the years of his maturity go by, the strong race suggestions all around him gradually get their way. He begins to acquire vested interests (mentally) in the status quo. The only remedy, when crystallization sets in, is to remove him from the earth plane altogether; send him to the etheric planes for rest, reflection, assimilation, and general readjustment; and then bring him back once more as a baby, to experience a new youth and a new period of true spiritual production.

There are other reasons why multiple lives are necessary. You need to develop every side of your character. You need to learn lessons of discipline and self-restraint, and you need to learn to use authority in the right way. You need to learn the lesson of getting on with other people, and you must also learn to be alone. You must learn to bear failure and disappointment with fortitude and you must learn to stand success without allowing your head to be turned. You have to learn both patience and the lesson of enterprise and adventure. Above all, you have to move about in time and space so that you may learn that nothing God made is really foreign or separate−and this could not be done in one lifetime.
Wherefore the law was our schoolmaster to bring us unto Christ . . . (Galatians 3:2,1).

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

The Supervisor

Be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the Lord God is with thee whithersoever thou goest.

~ Joshua 1:9 ~
“I'm sorry, sir," the telephone company representative told my assistant Mick, "we have no private lines available in your area; you can have a party line if you like.” Well, that wouldn't quite do. We had just built a new office after the phone company had told us they would install two private lines.

Mick began to contact every phone-company supervisor who might be able to help us. He spent 20 hours working his way up the telephone company chain of command, until he was on a first-name-basis with the Director of Consumer Affairs. To our chagrin, everyone he spoke to told him that all of the private lines in our rural area were spoken for, and no new equipment would be installed for over a year.

"Do we have a contingency plan?" he asked me, frustrated.

"Let's talk to the Supervisor," I suggested. "Let's ask God for help. We are wasting our time talking to people." Mick and I clasped hands and affirmed that God was in charge of this situation. We agreed that we live in an unlimited universe, and God can do anything. We knew our need was justified, and we asked Spirit to create a solution that would work for us.

When the telephone installer arrived, we told him our predicament, and he told us he would do what he could. You can imagine our delight when he packed up his equipment and told us he had just installed two private lines.

We always have recourse to a higher Supervisor than the world indicates. Be willing to turn to the Real Source when you have a challenge. lf your need is real, it will be met.

Help me remember that I always have recourse in the love and grace of God.

God is my source. I can do all things by the power of the Spirit.