November 30

WHAT WOULD BE WORSE

“He not only drinks again, but acts worse than the last time.” 12&12 p.32

“See, you are healed. Do no more wrong. If you do, something worse may happen to you." John 5:14

For what it's worth: Nothing worse could happen to me. That is what I thought until I heard more shameful stories in Alcoholics Anonymous, once I was sober enough to listen. I was blessed to know I had suffered enough, and I believed I would not survive even one more drunk. When I first came to Alcoholics Anonymous, I was already attempting overdose almost every night, and when I did not die, I cursed God for not letting me out of the agony. And alcoholism being such a progressive disease, for me to take that first drink means to die. I know further suffering waits patiently. But I am not sure which would be worse: awareness of the joy I would lose, or death not coming soon enough. Today, I will not find out. With my merciful Heavenly Father’s grace, I will not take that first drink, no matter what.

God bless you!
Joe W.