Daily Reprieve - November
 

November 1

REAL COURAGE

"The Lord is a shelter for the oppressed, a refuge in times of trouble." Psalm 9:9-10

"All men of faith have courage. They trust their God." Alcoholics Anonymous, page 68

For what it's worth: Alcohol created many troubles for me with its illusion of courage, especially since I had rejected a relationship with God. Years of agonizing despair were necessary to drive me to seek help by attending an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting. Thank God for the agony, otherwise I would have died a lonely, miserable alcoholic, self-condemned to the eternal fires of hell. Instead, the people and the Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous taught me to trust my Lord. Trusting God gives me real courage in comfortable and troubled times.

God bless you.
Joe W.

November 2

WEALTHY WITH LOVE

"No matter what I say, what I believe, and what I do, I'm bankrupt without love." 1 Corinthians 13:3 (The Message)

"For the first time, he lived in conscious companionship with his Creator." Alcoholics Anonymous, page 56

For what it's worth: I was nothing without love, and the fear of being unlovable and unable to love nurtured my alcoholism for many desperate years. To a large degree this was valid as long as I drank. Once I stopped drinking in Alcoholics Anonymous, however, this fear continued to nag at me until I came to believe that a power greater than myself could make me lovable and capable of loving. This growth grew as I lived the Twelve Steps. I started to love myself as did the people in Alcoholics Anonymous. Even more importantly, they led me to believe in a loving God. As I stay sober and live the principles of Alcoholics Anonymous one day at a time, I become wealthy with the ability to love and be loved. Trusting that I am loved by my Heavenly Father and seeking a "conscious companionship" with Him is a priceless treasure I would have denied myself had I continued drinking.

God bless you,
Joe W.

November 3

START FRESH

"Clean the slate, God, so we can start the day fresh! Keep me from stupid sins, from thinking I can take over your work." Psalm 19:13 (The Message)

"Some of us have tried to hold on to our old ideas and the result was nil until we let go absolutely." Alcoholics Anonymous, page 58

For what it's worth: For years alcohol gave me the false courage to believe I was in charge. Down deep inside, however, I knew I was incapable. Both were stupid, old ideas I had to let go. But how? I received the answer in Alcoholics Anonymous: with God's help, don't drink, go to meetings, and live the Twelve Steps to the best of my ability one day at a time. First, I had to surrender, "let go absolutely". This became possible only after I had suffered long enough from trying to control myself and others. Even today, I am not cured. I continue to struggle with this. This is why I like the idea of cleaning the slate and starting the day fresh. When I ask, I am grateful my Heavenly Father is always so willing to help.

God bless you,
Joe W.

November 4

TENACIOUS SHAME

"Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a worker who does not need to be ashamed and who correctly handles the word of truth." 2 Timothy 2:16

"...Almost every alcoholic has been marked by escapades, funny, humiliating, shameful or tragic." Alcoholics Anonymous, page 123

For what it's worth: My alcoholism was marked mostly by escapades that were shameful and tragic, and the sorrow and shame follow me long into sobriety in Alcoholics Anonymous. Even sober, I was afraid God would not approve of me, so I have begged Him to teach me to trust His love. Years of sober experiences have been necessary for me to learn. Still, shame was so ingrained in my being I have to work hard each day to present myself to God unashamed about my past, accepting of the present, and hopeful about the future.

God bless you.
Joe W.

November 5

FINDING GOD'S WAY

"Every part of Scripture is God-breathed and useful one way or
another—showing us truth, exposing our rebellion, correcting our
mistakes, training us to live God's way." 2 Timothy 3:16 (The Message)

"Every day is a day when we must carry the vision of God's will into all of our activities." Alcoholics Anonymous, page 85

For what it's worth: Alcohol and Scripture did not fit together. Nor was I a bit interested in God's will, only my will to drink. This attitude combined with alcohol forced me to the gates of hell, and the despair and soul-torture there drove me to seek relief in Alcoholics Anonymous. However, the members and the Twelve Steps spoke powerfully of my need to know and practice God's will to avoid entering the gates of hell. I had to have God's support to do this, and, eventually, He introduced me to the book, Alcoholics Anonymous. (I had thrown away the first three given to me because of all the "God stuff".) After years of reading this book, I came to realize the Bible and the book, Alcoholics Anonymous are closely related, so I use both daily for training to live my day God's way.

God bless you.
Joe W.

November 6

KEEP TRYING

"Praise be to God, who has not rejected my prayer or withheld his love from me!" Psalm 66:20

"We shouldn't be shy on this matter of prayer." Alcoholics Anonymous, page 85

For what it's worth: Even during my 10 years in the seminary, studying to be a Franciscan priest, prayer was superficial. As my alcoholism progressed, I stopped praying all together. I do not remember asking, but, for some reason, when alcohol dragged me close to everlasting torment, God reached down to save me. He delivered me to Alcoholics Anonymous. At first, I would not pray when others did. However, the longer I was away from that last drink, the more I felt the need for prayer. With sobriety and the Twelve Steps, my prayer life improved, but is still weak. I tend to run through prayers, placing other things as more important. I am deeply grateful for my Heavenly Father's loving patience. Often, I have to practice Steps Six and Seven and talk to Him about this defect. He always welcomes me and whispers to me to keep trying.

God bless you.
Joe W.

November 7

NOT WORTH THE RISK

"Godly sadness causes us to turn away from our sins and be saved." 2 Corinthians 7:10 (New International Reader's Version)

"We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it." Alcoholics Anonymous, page 83

For what it's worth: Much of my past is painful because of character defects running wild under the influence of alcohol. Thanks to the grace of God, my past is not who I am now, but it is what drove me to recovery. Sobriety and the spiritual therapy of Alcoholics Anonymous have quieted the shame, but sorrow remains. If I could travel back through time and correct all of my mistakes, would I do so? Where would be my motivation for sobriety and change? Would my relationship with my Heavenly Father be lost? It is not worth the risk.

God bless you.
Joe W.

November 8

LET IT GROW

"Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy.

For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow..." James 1:2-4 (NLT)

"This is the great news this book carries to those who suffer from alcoholism." Alcoholics Anonymous, page 17

For what it's worth: Alcoholism certainly made me and others in my life suffer, and sobriety in Alcoholics Anonymous did not guarantee immunity from agony. Actually, pain has been a great motivator for me. I have difficulty accepting it when I am hurting, but I will grow spiritually as a result. Such has been my experience ever since I put my life in God's hands. Every instance of turmoil has benefited me, especially preparing me to be God's instrument understanding others.

God bless you.
Joe W.

November 9

CALLED UP FROM HELL

“…He was overwhelmed by a conviction of the Presence of God.” Alcoholics Anonymous, page 56

"I have not come to call the righteous but sinners to repentance." Luke 5:32

For what it’s worth: Alcoholism left not even one ounce of gratitude in me. I resented anyone thankful for anything. When I first heard Alcoholics Anonymous people say they were grateful alcoholics, I thought they were phony or crazy. And I said so. That did not stop them. They went right on telling me how thankful they were, and, as I sobered up, I started to believe them. Actually, I was beginning to feel it myself. Gradually my heart filled with gratitude, and I understood. Who wouldn’t be grateful for being called up from hell to their Heavenly Father’s arms?

God bless you.
Joe W.

November 10

RELAPSE - PREMEDITATED MURDER

"...Honesty cannot enter. Truth is nowhere to be found." Isaiah 59:14-15

"He can only be defeated by an attitude of intolerance or belligerent denial." Alcoholics Anonymous, Appendix II, "Spiritual Experience"

For what it's worth: Surely, truth was "nowhere to be found" during the insidious denial stage of my alcoholism. Like most alcoholics, I would have died in denial, but God was merciful, bringing me to the truth in Alcoholics Anonymous. Despite years of acceptance, sobriety, and treatment of my disease, "an attitude of intolerance or belligerent denial" will destroy my spiritual condition and contrive a relapse - a deadly reality. Just the thought of relapse is frightening. I will rapidly drift away from God. All honesty will be lost. My soul will empty and rot. The only promise will be rapidly progressive deterioration. I will be guilty of premeditated murder, planning and constructing a relapse long before the lethal act. The victim will be me, killed on the installment plan, one drink at a time.

God bless you.
Joe W.

From one who is struggling with deadly relapse, I am compelled to thank you for this powerful reading,, A lifeline from the jaws of despair ..
Thank you!!

November 11

HE ALWAYS PROVIDES

"Your attitude must be like my own, for I, the Messiah, did not come to be served, but to serve and to give my life." Matthew 20:28 (LB)

"Our real purpose is to fit ourselves to be of maximum service to God and the people about us." Alcoholics Anonymous, page 77

For what it's worth: As an active alcoholic my primary purpose was to drink. I cared nothing about service to God or His people. Of course, to survive alcoholism I had to change my purpose and my attitude. With sober time and the grace of God, Alcoholics Anonymous did both. Today, I ask God's help to do His will and to demonstrate a caring attitude toward all His children (including me) that He places in my life this day, especially suffering alcoholics. When I keep my self-centered will out of his way, He always provides, not for my glory, but His.

God bless you.
Joe W.

November 12

HIS AMAZING LOVE

"Cultivate your own relationship with God, but don't impose it on others." Romans 14:22 (The Message)

"We made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him." Alcoholics Anonymous, page 59

For what it's worth: I wanted no relationship with God while I was drinking, and I believed the feeling was mutual. I blamed Him for my misery. Sober in Alcoholics Anonymous I learned I needed a conscious contact with God. This frightened me because I had cursed God and hurt many of his children. But, if I were to survive the hell of alcoholism and eternal misery, I had to try, so I made my Third Step decision. God welcomed me with open arms, and together we started on a spiritual journey, daily bringing me closer to Him and allowing me to learn to trust His love. I share my experiences and my understanding of God's deep and unconditional love, but He does not want me to "impose it on others". As with me, when they knock, He will open the door for them and introduce them to His amazing love.

God bless you.
Joe W.

November 13

THE KINGS OF GIVING

“Give, and [gifts] will be given to you; good measure, pressed down, shaken together, and running over, will they pour into the bosom. For, with the measure you deal out, it will be measured back to you." Luke 6:38

“Giving, rather than getting, will become the guiding principle.” Alcoholics Anonymous, page 128

For what it’s worth: The hard core selfishness of my alcoholism would not allow any desire to give, only to get. The moment I entered Alcoholics Anonymous and stopped drinking, the example of members began teaching me our “guiding principle” of giving. They insisted this was not a suggestion, but a must, if I were to live a sober and happy life. My favorite bunch of tricky drunks led the way, carrying me to numerous institutional meetings and on Twelve Step calls. They were the Kings of giving, and freely gave to me.

God bless you.
Joe W.

November 14

BRIDGE TO JOY

“How can I best serve Thee, Thy will (not mine) be done.” Alcoholics Anonymous, page 85

"If anyone wants to be first, he must be the very last, and the servant of all." Mark 9:35

For what it’s worth: My alcoholic drinking drove everyone away and shoved me into isolation from people and God. Neither He nor anyone else did anything for me, so why should I do anything for them? This attitude came with me into Alcoholic Anonymous and would have forced me back out except for the unconditional acceptance I found from the people and from their merciful God. They introduced me to Him and He and I have grown close. It was their example that taught me how to serve others without return. Yet, I reap treasured rewards with every effort I make to do God’s will serving others. It has been a bridge to joy.

God bless you.
Joe W.

November 15

NEVER APOLOGIZE

"My salvation and my honor depend on God; he is my mighty rock, my refuge." Psalm 62:7

"We never apologize to anyone for depending upon our Creator." Alcoholics Anonymous, page 68

For what it's worth: My dependence on alcohol was devastating and close to demanding even my life. Looking back, I believe there was no escape other than God's intervention. Despite cursing Him and spitting in His face, He demonstrated His merciful and unconditional love by rescuing me from my devilish addiction. He offered me a way where there had been no way to freedom from dependence on alcohol to dependence on Him through Alcoholics Anonymous. The Twelve Steps proved to be the road for me to travel into my Heavenly Father's arms. Every day I offer myself to my creator, depend on His guidance throughout the day, and never apologize for this dependency.

God bless you.
Joe W.

November 16

MY FOUNDATION

"They are like a man building a house, who dug down deep and laid the foundation on rock. When a flood came, the torrent struck that house but could not shake it, because it was well built." Luke 6:48

"With all the earnestness at our command, we beg of you to be fearless and thorough from the very start." Alcoholics Anonymous, page 58

For what it's worth: Alcoholism slowly and painfully destroyed my spirit. I was drained of enthusiasm and determination when I walked into my first Alcoholics Anonymous meeting. I did, however, sense a Spirit among the people there. They were generous with their non-judgmental acceptance, empathy, and inspiration. They encouraged me "to be fearless and thorough from the very start". Actually, a bunch of the tricky drunks immediately took me under their wing and persistently involved me in all manner of service. This Spirit of theirs kept me coming back long enough to develop a solid sobriety and a Spirit of my own, my Heavenly Father. When I am weak and needy, in one of life's torrents, or wandering through a spiritual desert, He is my foundation.

God bless you.
Joe W.

November 17

“WE ARE NOT SAINTS”

“Do not be discouraged.” Alcoholics Anonymous, page 60

“Don't get discouraged and give up, for we will reap a harvest of blessing at the appropriate time.” Galatians 6:9

For what it’s worth: My active alcoholism destroyed all of my dreams and left me in despair. I came to Alcoholics Anonymous totally discouraged. When “do not be discouraged” was read from our Big Book at meetings, I wondered: How? When someone read “no one among us has been able to maintain anything like perfect adherence to these principles”, I felt both relief and hope. Those words continue to encourage me as I “trudge the Road of Happy Destiny”. Some days the trudging is tougher than others. It’s on those days that the reward of a “harvest of blessing” calls me onward. My motive may not be pure, but it works, and “we are not saints.”

God bless you.
Joe W.

November 18

BLESSINGS FOR THOSE I HURT

“Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past." Isaiah 43:18

"This doesn't mean we need to wander morbidly around in the past." 12&12 p.89

For what it's worth: My past overflows with harm to others and torment for me. During years of God given sobriety, I have come to understand my agony was a blessing, the price paid to have enough humility to craw into Alcoholics Anonymous. The hurt I caused others, however, I have not forgotten. I still tend "to wander morbidly around in the past". At these times I am aware of my need to focus on all the blessings in my new, sober life. My Heavenly Father always helps me with this when I am willing to stop beating up on my self, drag myself out of the past and back to the moment, and jump into His lap. He always reminds me He has forgiven and forgotten my past. Since I still remember the hurt I caused others, while we are talking together, I ask my Heavenly Father to pour blessings on each of them.

God bless you.
Joe W.

November 19

A MOST FULFILLING GIFT

"My soul thirsts for God, for the living God." Psalm 42:2

"As the body can fail its purpose for lack of nourishment, so can the soul." 12&12 p.97, Step Eleven

For what it's worth: Alcohol knocked God out of my life, and the drug anesthetized me enough to be unaware He was missing. Only after years of sobriety in Alcoholics Anonymous, with alcohol completely removed from my system, did I learn spiritual deprivation was far more painful than physical hunger. Now I could hear my empty soul crying for God, but I needed direction to find Him. The Twelve Steps and the wise, loving people in Alcoholics Anonymous guided me to the most fulfilling gift I have ever received, my Heavenly Father's unconditional love. He knew they would.

God bless you.
Joe W.

November 20

LITTLE AND LARGE

“If you are faithful in little things, you will be faithful in large ones.

But if you are dishonest in little things, you won’t be honest with greater responsibilities.” Luke 16:10

“Nothing counted but thoroughness and honesty.” Alcoholics Anonymous, page 65

For what it’s worth: Alcoholism and deep insecurity caused my entire drinking life to be a lie. The little things and the big ones were fake. Had it not been for the loving mercy of God and the therapeutic power of Alcoholics Anonymous, alcohol would have buried me a fool and a phony. Instead, AA members and sober experience have taught me absolute honestly is vital to my survival. Daily practice of the Twelve Steps and a conscious contact with my Heavenly Father make this possible … most days. Other days the Tenth Step* and a thorough appraisal with my Heavenly Father make improvement attainable the next day, with His help.

God bless you.
Joe W.

November 21

WHO AM I TO JUDGE?

“We do talk about each other a great deal, but we almost invariably temper such talk by a spirit of love and tolerance.” Alcoholics Anonymous, page 125

“I urge you, brothers, to watch out for those who cause divisions and put obstacles in your way that are contrary to the teaching you have learned. Keep away from them.” Romans 16:17

For what it’s worth: Who am I to judge anyone? Everything in me was broken by the time I came to Alcoholics Anonymous. I was accepted for the mess I was. I was presented principles to practice for healing. I was taught how to develop supportive relationships, placing principles before personalities, following our code of love and tolerance, and applying the Prayer of St. Francis. Most importantly, Alcoholics Anonymous led me to a God of my understanding, a Heavenly Father who loves me unconditionally. Today, I ask my Heavenly Father to help me not judge anyone, not talk about anyone unless my message is positive, and keep away from those “who cause divisions and put obstacles” in my path. And I beg my Heavenly Father to protect me from ever doing or saying anything that would harm Alcoholics Anonymous or any member. I have already hurt too many of His children in my past.

God bless you.
Joe W.

November 22

"MIRACULOUS DEMONSTRATIONS"

"...It's God's Spirit in a person, the breath of the Almighty One, that makes wise human insight possible.

The experts have no corner on wisdom; getting old doesn't guarantee good sense." Job 32:6

"... Faith in a Power greater than ourselves, and miraculous demonstrations of that power in human lives, are facts as old as man himself." Alcoholics Anonymous, page 55

For what it's worth: When I was drinking, I cursed God because I had to live one more day of alcoholic hell, and I begged Him l would not suffer long enough to be old. However, here I am, never having been wrapped too tight, easily coming apart piece by piece and often operating without good sense. But, thanks to the grace of God and the spiritual power of Alcoholics Anonymous, this once hopeless, worthless drunk is living long enough to experience years of peace and happiness. Even better, I am being blessed to witness and experience untold numbers of "miraculous demonstrations" of God's love.

God bless you.
Joe W.

November 23

TRUSTING GOD WHEN HELPING OTHERS

"When we trust in him, we're free to say whatever needs to be said, bold to go wherever we need to go." Ephesians 3:12 (The Message)

"Our very lives, as ex-problem drinkers, depend upon our constant thought of others and how we may help meet their needs." Alcoholics Anonymous, page 20

For what it's worth: Active alcoholism demands self-absorption, never allowing me to think of others. Fortunately, sober in Alcoholics Anonymous, I found helping others who suffer from this disease is the most successful weapon to combat my alcoholism. But, what do I have to offer? What can I say that will help? Do I dare go to dark, dangerous places where alcoholics gather? When asked to enter the home of an alcoholic where the family suffers, do I go? Who will go with me? Who will guide me? All of these were my questions when I learned my very survival depended upon going wherever the alcoholic lived, or suffered, or was dying. I was even more anxious when I learned I may well be the only one the alcoholic will listen to because of my experience. The wisdom of my sponsor and other members of Alcoholics Anonymous taught me trusting God was the answer to all these questions. Sure enough, throughout my sober years in Alcoholics Anonymous, I have been blessed with many opportunities to reach out to the suffering alcoholic in all manner of situations and circumstances, and, on each of these occasions, I have witnessed my Heavenly Father's love. Now I trust His love for me and all His alcoholic children. My only regret is I do not get the opportunity to do this service much anymore.

God bless you.
Joe W.

November 24

JOY OF THANKSGIVING

“I will praise God’s name in song and glorify him with thanksgiving.” Psalm 69:30

“An honest regret for harms done, a genuine gratitude for blessings received,

and a willingness to try for better things tomorrow will be the permanent assets we shall seek.” Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, page 95

For what it’s worth: Early in Alcoholics Anonymous, rage was my response to subjects of gratitude at meetings. Why should I be thankful? Alcoholism warped my mind to believe God had destined me to hell on earth and in eternity. I had no idea Alcoholics Anonymous would change this insane belief. It took many sober years because of my arrogant stubbornness, but God and members of Alcoholics Anonymous broke through my alcohol induced stupidity, and I came to believe the fact of sobriety in Alcoholics Anonymous was a precious blessing. From that point on, awareness of God’s mercy, grace and love grew until now words cannot express the joy of thanksgiving in my heart and soul.

God bless you.
Joe W.

November 25

THE LORD'S SMILE

“May the Lord smile on you and be gracious to you.” Numbers 6:25

“It is a most wonderful blessing to be relieved of the terrible curse with which I was afflicted.” Alcoholics Anonymous, page 180, Doctor Bob's Nightmare

For what it’s worth: Alcoholism is a “terrible curse”. My diseased mind believed it was from God because I was such a disappointment to Him. Alcoholics Anonymous taught me I was not a disappointment, but an alcoholic. I learned God loved me just as the worthless drunk I was. Indeed, He must. He smiled on me with the precious gift of sobriety. All I need do is live the Twelve Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous one day at a time … a rewarding responsibility in itself; one I need God’s help with every moment. My Heavenly Father is always gracious with me with His support. Some days I have to focus to see His generosity. When I do, I am reminded of His love, not only during my sobriety, but long before, guiding me to Alcoholics Anonymous where He knew I would be carried to His arms.

God bless you.
Joe W.

November 26

THANKSGIVING

“We thank God from the bottom of our heart that we know Him better.” Alcoholics Anonymous, page 75:3

“He has given me a new song to sing, a hymn of praise to our God.” Psalm 40:2

For what it’s worth: If someone had an attitude about me that I had about God, I would want nothing to do with them. If someone would have treated me as I did God, I would want to stay as far away from them as possible. But not God! Obviously, based upon all of my experiences, He loves me. Although I cursed Him, He stayed with me, carrying me through extreme, life threatening experiences, and bringing me to Alcoholics Anonymous and a new and sober life. The song I sing to praise God is certainly different from the past. I sing gratitude to Him “from the bottom of my heart”.

God bless you.
Joe W.

November 27

“JUST FINE”

“Give in to God, come to terms with him and everything will turn out just fine.” Job 22:21 (The Message)

“In fact, the effectiveness of the whole A.A. program will rest upon how well and earnestly we have tried to come to ‘a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.’” Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, page 34

For what it’s worth: Coming to terms with God was frightening. No way it could “turn out just fine”. Besides being a no-good drunk, I had cursed Him, rejected Him, and hurt many of his children, young and old. God knew I was afraid of Him, so He pursued me through a bunch of tricky drunks in Alcoholics Anonymous. They used all manner of chicanery to prove they cared and win my trust, leading me to believe maybe God cared and could be trusted. Finally, the agony of a dark, empty soul forced me to “give in to God” and pray our Third Step prayer. This was the beginning of a joyful spiritual journey, despite steep climbs and deep pits. My Heavenly Father has carried me all the way, and everything did “turn out just fine”.

God bless you.
Joe W.

November 28

A SECURE PATH

“But if you are shaky, you had better work with another alcoholic!” Alcoholics Anonymous, page 102

“He set my feet on solid ground and steadied me as I walked along.” Psalm 40:2

For what it’s worth: Despite my denial of being in a hopeless stage of alcoholism, despite the fact I cursed Him, and despite my prideful resistance, my Higher Power rescued me from a road careening rapidly down to hell. He placed me on a secure path - the one where we rarely see anyone fail when they climb the Steps. He stays close to me, balancing me, keeping me secure. When I become uneasy, depressed, confused, or in any way shaky, while I’m on this path, my Heavenly Father holds me close to Him until we reach more solid ground. He is extremely creative in how He does this, and I have noticed He works best when I stay out of His way. The surest way He helps is when He places another suffering alcoholic on the path with me. That always works.

God bless you.
Joe W.

November 29

GOD WANTS TO TALK TO ME

"Salvation is not a reward for the good things we have done, so none of us can boast about it." Ephesians 2:9 (NLT)

"He wanted so much to talk with someone, but whom?" Alcoholics Anonymous, page 154

For what it's worth: Alcoholism is a heavy load. When I was drinking, having someone to talk with would have been a tremendous relief. However, no one wants to listen to a drunk's babble, so I had to suffer alone in order to feel enough torment to open the doors of Alcoholics Anonymous. There I found not only sobriety but understanding people with whom I could talk. They understood. They had been where I was. They told me God had saved them from the hell of alcoholism and they thanked Him through prayer and meditation. They suggested I try prayer as a way to talk with God. It worked. A spiritual awakening occurred and I found God actually wanted to be with me and listen to me. This is a powerfully inspirational reward. I no longer believe God wants nothing to do with me. He always wants to be close and have me talk with Him, especially when life is a heavy load.

God bless you.
Joe W.

November 30

WHAT WOULD BE WORSE

“He not only drinks again, but acts worse than the last time.” 12&12 p.32

“See, you are healed. Do no more wrong. If you do, something worse may happen to you." John 5:14

For what it's worth: Nothing worse could happen to me. That is what I thought until I heard more shameful stories in Alcoholics Anonymous, once I was sober enough to listen. I was blessed to know I had suffered enough, and I believed I would not survive even one more drunk. When I first came to Alcoholics Anonymous, I was already attempting overdose almost every night, and when I did not die, I cursed God for not letting me out of the agony. And alcoholism being such a progressive disease, for me to take that first drink means to die. I know further suffering waits patiently. But I am not sure which would be worse: awareness of the joy I would lose, or death not coming soon enough. Today, I will not find out. With my merciful Heavenly Father’s grace, I will not take that first drink, no matter what.

God bless you!
Joe W.