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Even More Recovery Readings and Meditations - September
September 1
Step by Step Today, the "spiritual awakening" asked in Step 12, the culmination of fierce and thorough practice of the previous 11 steps and mandated of us to be effective carriers of the program's message. There is no single definition of spiritual awakening for it is as unique to the individual as his or her recovery program. But, in general, if I can say honestly that I no longer schedule my day around my drinking and don't want to, if I can say I am healthier mentally and emotionally by weakening those character flaws that fed my drinking, if I can say in honesty that I want to help the addict still using, if I can admit that my will is self-will run riot and that the will of a wiser and stronger higher power must be my guide - then, and only possibly then, can I say I have undergone the awakening of a "new" and better character than the one that prevailed in my drinking days. On the other hand, if I can say honestly I have not undergone a fundamental change in character, emotion and morality, I best backtrack to the very beginning, to Step One: "Admitted (I am) powerless ..." And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M. ************************************************** ~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~ LIVE AND LET LTVE No matter how it feels, we’re moving forward. No matter how good it gets, the best is yet to come. ~ Anonymous ~ It is hard to live more than one life at a time. Try as we did to organize everyone’s life according to our plan, it just didn’t work. We learned in our First Step that we were not masters of the universe, that our very best efforts got us into the Program. We had to file away the little manager in our heads that found it necessary to bark out all the orders to God. Once we did, and took our rightful place as just a fellow traveler on the road to recovery, we finally began to live and allow others the opportunity to live. Live and let live is a simple idea that, when practiced, produces lasting results, more serenity, and peace of mind. It permits us to turn over our self-assumed responsibility for other people's lives to our Higher Power. And what a relief that is! Live and let live is the 12 Step way of life. When I live my own life and let others live theirs, I am letting go and letting God be in charge. ************************************************** ~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~ I have a great deal more respect for someone who keeps coming back after losing heartbreaker after heart- breaker than I do for the winner who has everything going for him. ~ Wilt Chamberlain ~ One aspect of recovery is dealing with relapse. After we have been in recovery and then fall back into our addiction or codependent behaviors, we are filled with regret. We may also be stricken with strong feelings of shame and a defeatist attitude. But if we come back to our meetings and get back on the program, we deserve only self-respect. We are not defeated unless we give up on ourselves. No bad experience is a total loss unless we refuse to learn something from it. Recovery from relapse begins when we relearn that we are powerless over our addiction. It calls for us to make something positive out of the negative experience. We examine the point where we resumed our addictive and codependent thinking, even before we realized it. Experienced people in the program know that we learn to prevent relapse by returning to recovery after we have fallen away. Today I have the greatest respect for those who keep coming back. ************************************************** ~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~ We get so bogged down in worldly things, we don’t understand that we’re here for a spiritual quest. ~ Oprah Winfrey ~ Those of us in recovery are perhaps luckier than most; we have learned that our journey is spiritual. We have come to believe that we each have a special mission and that a Higher Power travels every step with us. However, we can get bogged down. We can get upset by the experiences that come to us hour by hour, forgetting they are part of our unfolding divine life. Because we are human and imperfect, we forget that we are in God’s care at every moment. We also forget that the people who share our lives now are helping us learn the lessons we need for this stage of our development. Some people will leave us and others will join us when the time is right. The plans have been made. All we have to do is show up and peacefully trust that God is in charge. I am here for a purpose bigger than I might imagine. God’s guidance will be clear if I follow my inner voice throughout this day. ************************************************** ~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~ I can accept my shortcomings It hurt to become so aware of my shortcomings through Step Four. I did feel better—less guilty and shameful—when I admitted them to another person in Step Five. But what I really wanted was to get rid of them quickly and completely However, I am slowly coming to see that my shortcomings are not all bad. Some were useful to me at one time-and some are now blocking my spiritual progress. Only my higher power knows which are which. What I need to do is to work Steps Six and Seven by accepting myself, becoming open to change, and by letting my higher power decide which shortcomings to remove and when to remove them. I will pray the Serenity Prayer and pray to follow the will of my higher power. ************************************************* ~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~ Spirituality is an individual matter. I can tell you what it means to me, but it might be different for you. ~ Jake T. ~ Many of us get confused when we begin to talk about religion and spirituality. We hear newcomers ask if the two are the same. If they aren’t, how are they different? The simplest explanation we’ve heard is this one: you can be spiritual but not necessarily religious. Or you can be religious and spiritual. But being religious doesn’t necessarily mean you are also a spiritual person. We have found our spirituality clearly reflected in our daily lives: how we treat others, how we treat ourselves. Are we honest? Caring? Sharing? Do we listen? Do we have time for other people? For many of us, spirituality does not come easy. Our feelings have been numbed by alcohol, food, and other substances. We lost touch with our faith and became isolated from the world. We were left with a tremendous inner void. Now, we’re learning that spirituality can help us fill it. Our spiritual growth is one sure signpost on the road to recovery. Today through prayer and meditation, guide me to find what spirituality means to me. Help me become a spiritual person.. ************************************************** ~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~ Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others. ~ Step Nine ~ A prayer is a humble and heartfelt communication with a power greater than yourself. A prayer can admit a weakness, communicate a need, or convey praise and gratitude. Prayers can unburden your heart, give you strength and courage, and deepen your faith and trust in a Higher Power. Use the following prayer as you work on your understanding and acceptance of Step Nine. Step Nine Prayer Higher Power, I have made a list of those I have harmed in my addiction. I have become willing to make amends lo them all. I ask for your help now so that I may have the courage to make direct amends. I ask for your wisdom and guidance. I need to face those I have let down or mistreated and those to whom I have told lies in an effort to avoid giving up my addiction. I will not let shame lead me down a path of falsehood. I will speak with sincerity, openness, and honesty. Grant me the wisdom to exhibit actions that are reflective of a person who has compassion and understanding. Let me be your humble servant who shows patience, kindness, respect, and love to everyone. Higher Power, thank you for listening to my prayer. ************************************************** ~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~ I like trees because they seem more resigned to the way they have to live than other things do. ~ Willa Cather ~ If a tree's soil becomes dry or low in valuable minerals, it can't pull up its roots and move to a better place. Instead, the tree spreads its roots deeper and wider, seeking fertile ground. It makes the surrounding soil richer by dropping dead branches and leaves to mulch the ground below. It remains firm in the wind, bends but doesn't break under the weight of ice and snow, and gives shade, shelter, and nourishment to the ground below. Beginning tonight, if we think of ourselves as trees firmly placed, we can learn to be more accepting of our surroundings. We can learn to grow no matter how difficult it may seem. Such growth can enrich our lives and make us stronger so we don't break with the weight of problems or difficulties. We, too, can be as strong and enduring as trees. I can learn to move with the winds of change and bend with the weight of difficulties—and still stand tall and firm. ************************************************** ~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~ Coming to believe Many of us come to the Twelve Step program with little or no belief in a Higher Power. Perhaps we tried religion and it didn’t help, or perhaps we prefer science to religion. In either event, we need not turn away from the program; what we need is support until we can take Step Two. It will help if we can see that alcohol and other drugs can no longer be our Higher Power, that we cannot recover on our own, and that a Higher Power may be anything that helps us stay clean and sober. Can I find something to believe in? I know I need help. I want to find someone or something in which I can put my faith. Today I will look for a Higher Power by God help me to stay clean and sober today! ************************************************** ~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~ God grant me the serenity To accept he things I cannot change, The courage to change the things I can, And the wisdom to know the difference. ~ THE SERENITY PRAYER ~ Newcomer What if the person to whom I'm trying to make amends is still too angry to accept my apology or doesn't want anything to do with me? Sponsor This is an important question. When we speak our amends aloud or write them in a letter as long as we have acknowledged the harm we've done and are committed to doing things differently, then our amends are genuine and we've done our part. One of the things over which we have no control is the way another person reacts to our amends. He or she may be understanding, even loving and generous, or may not be as ready to forgive us as we are to acknowledge harm we've done. Hearing from us may revive old anger or pain. Some may think we're trying to get off easy. Our recovery itself may cause resentment. In time, friends' or relatives' attitudes may change—or they may not. We can't force other human beings to forgive us or to want us in their lives, and we can't make things happen on our timetable. Today, I do my part by taking appropriate actions; I turn over the results of those actions to my Higher Power. ************************************************** ~ THE EYE OPENER ~ The alcoholic is usually conscious of his shortcomings but he resents any well-meant attempt to discuss the matter with him. He knows that has no defense. Logic is against him; lying frequently backfires on him and is therefore unreliable. He has but one avenue of escape and that is the bottle, the very thing the well intentioned friend is trying to avoid. Our only approach that makes sense to him is the visible evidence that we are doing it, and acquainting him with the fact that it can be done. ************************************************** ~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~ Change Me—Ruth C.'s Prayer Change me, God, Please change me. Though I cringe Kick Resist and resent. Pay no attention to me whatsoever. When I run to hide Drag me out of my safe little shelter Change me totally. Whatever it takes. However long You must work at the job. Change me—and save me From spiritual self-destruction. ************************************************* ~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~ DIVINE LOVE NEVER FAILS Read 1 Corinthians 13. Divine Love never fails. Divine Love solves every problem. Statements like these appear again and again in metaphysical books, and, of course, they are perfectly true; certain it is that many people firmly believe them, and yet have obviously been unable to prove them in demonstration. Why is this? The explanation is that, consciously or unconsciously, people think of Love as some sort of Power outside of themselves; and they expect that presently, if they beg hard enough, this Power will come down and rescue them. There is, in fact, no such outside power, and therefore you cannot receive help in that way. The only place where Love can exist, as far as you are concerned, is in your own heart. Any love that is not in your heart does not exist for you. The thing for you to do, then, is to fill your own heart with Love, by thinking it, feeling it, and expressing it; and when this sense of Love is vivid enough it will heal you and solve your problems, and it will enable you to heal others too. That is the Law of Being and none of us can change it. Yea, I have loved thee with an everlasting love . . . (Jeremiah 31:3). ************************************************** ~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~ The Matchmaker Resign your destiny to higher powers. ~ William James ~ Susan's friend Tanya insisted that she would be a good match for Gerald, a wealthy and successful New York executive after she initially resisted, Susan took Gerald's phone number and contacted him when she was in New York several months later. Although he was surprised by Susan's call, Gerald made a date to meet her after work that day. While waiting for him, Susan called Tanya and left a message on her answering machine, letting her know she was about to meet the man Tanya had referred her to. Susan and Gerald met, sparks of romance flew, and the couple spent a delightful evening together. When Susan returned to her hotel room, she found 11 messages from Tanya, who frantically pleaded, "Call me immediately!" Susan called her back to hear Tanya confess, "My suggestion to call Gerald was a joke; he was just a famous guy I heard of; I don't know him at all." Upon further investigation, Susan learned that Tanya was a pathological liar. This, however, did not preclude Susan and Gerald's marriage a year later. The Cosmic Coincidence Control Center gets people together in any number of ways. Sometimes important meetings occur consciously, and often they occur through means that seem haphazard, chaotic, or downright ridiculous. Nevertheless, there is a wise and meaningful plan behind the appearances. Even when we do something foolish or unkind, we may be participating in a plan that ultimately serves everyone involved. In retrospect, even those who tried to hurt us ultimately contributed to our healing if we are better off after an adventure, we can thank everyone involved, no matter what part they played in the drama. Trust that good things can come out of an apparent mistake. The big picture reveals that love is always present. Help me to trust that I am serving You always. I pray to have faith in the divine plan. My life is guided by intelligent action. |
September 2
Step by Step Today, simplify the program as it relates to my recovery to three basic concepts: choice, consequences, and responsibility. If I take the infamous first drink or use, after all the excuses or justifications I can think of and all the blame I can put on other people or circumstances, drinking or using is my choice. And with that choice comes consequences, and with the consequences comes personal responsibility. Ultimately, I am the only one who will be responsible to the consequences of my choice, and the consequences of my drinking became simply too high for me to want to face the responsibility of my choice to drink or use again. And we must honestly remember the consequences of our choice to use or drink - separation from or loss of family and-or friends, loss of a job or the threat of it, standing before a judge after spending the night in the county jail's drunk tank after being nailed for another DUI or for physically hurting someone else like a passing motorist or whoever we picked a fight with. Today, I can pray that the high cost of the consequences of choosing to drink and now not wanting to be responsible to those consequences will keep me clean and sober another 24 Hours. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M. ************************************************** ~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~ UNDERSTANDING I shall light a candle of understanding in thine heart which shall not be put out. ~ Apocrypha ~ When we found an understanding of the disease that made us captives to addiction, we came to a realization of both our problem and the solution. But we needed to fully understand. There could be no guess work. If some experienced relapses, we could acknowledge the fact that their understanding was not complete. As spiritual progress continues, we become more and more certain that there is no room in our Program for half-measures and old ideas. Understanding helps us cope with both the problems we face and our success in dealing with them. We will neither have doubts about the fact that our Program works if we work it, nor will we be stubbornly insistent that we have all the answers. In my Second Step, when I came to believe that a Power greater than myself could restore me to sanity, I began to understand my problems and what I must do to find solutions. ************************************************** ~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~ It is with our passions as with fire and water: they make good servants but bad masters. ~ Aesop ~ Our passions—whether they be sex, anger, love, or an intense interest in a hobby—are energizing and enriching dimensions of our lives. On the other hand, who hasn’t made mistakes with his passions? Who hasn’t had regrets about his actions when a drive became a master rather than a servant? Some of us are recovering from problems with anger or sex. Many of us are subject, in our recovery, to over involvement with some new passion, such as work or a hobby, that once again takes us away from our relationships and our peace of mind. A man grows up by making mistakes and learning from them. We learn to steer a car by turning the wheel, overcorrecting, and recorrecting. It is when we refuse to acknowledge that our passion has become our master that we cannot make the needed adjustments to keep our passions in balance. Keeping an honest, unflinching personal inventory is what a strong man does. Today I am grateful for the passions that serve my well-being. ************************************************** ~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~ Whether one has a natural talent or not, any learning period requires the willingness to suffer uncertainty and embarrassment. ~ Gail Sheehy ~ We are all multitalented, but if we grew up in dysfunctional families, we may have failed to understand this. Households encumbered by tension, conflict over values or expectations, and confusion about roles of family members kept nurturing to a minimum. We grew up shortchanged. Fortunately, it is never too late to develop the talents that lie within us. This recovery program will nurture our talents; the friends we make here will help us understand our worth. As we attempt the “new,” we’ll be helped along by the support of our Higher Power who promises to love, guide, and care for us. I have the talent to do whatever I need to today if I let God and my friends help me. ************************************************** ~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~ I am learning not to reject myself for mistakes I had a slip in my recovery from addiction. I felt sorry and ashamed. I felt like a failure—unworthy of help, unworthy of recovery. Fortunately, I remembered to get a hold of my sponsor. I told her what I'd done and how I felt about myself. She listened to me calmly, carefully. When she spoke, she offered support without judging. Soon I felt lighter, no longer so alone: I felt accepted. It only took one other person to let me know that, even though I'd had a slip, I was still OK. I was not rejected—even though I'd rejected myself. Perhaps now I can begin to forgive myself. I will talk about my mistakes, and forgiving myself, with my group. ************************************************* ~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~ The day I made my self-care a priority was the day I also opened myself up to more truly loving others. ~ Naomi Roscoe ~ Overcommitment is a juggling act in which we try to keep several balls in the air at once. We juggle our job, family, and self-care responsibilities at a furious speed until we tire or feel overwhelmed. When we feel overwhelmed, the first ball we usually drop is self-care, promising ourselves we will pick it up again “when we have time.” But we can easily change the pace and speed of our act instead of neglecting our personal needs. Nothing feels better than being well rested, and physically and emotionally fit. When we remember how it feels to be in great condition, we wonder why we ever stopped taking good care of ourselves. We can begin today to get our priorities straight again and put our own needs at the top of our daily list. If we love ourselves enough to make self- care a top priority, everything else will fall into place. Today let me remember that I can give to others in direct proportion to my ability to nurture my own needs. ************************************************** ~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~ No one can look back cm his schooldays and say with truth that they were altogether unhappy. ~ George Orwell ~ When you were a child, you may have been filled with anticipation at the start of a new school year. Perhaps you shopped for new clothes and school supplies. Perhaps, in advancing to a new grade, you had greater opportunities for sports or clubs. As an adult, you can view this time of year as a period in your recovery in which you return to a fresh start in the “school of sobriety.” You can think of your meetings as classroom sessions and listen with greater attention to the discussion. You can resolve to gain deeper understanding about your addiction. You can review the Twelve Steps to determine what you have left undone and make up your mind to no longer put off Step work you have avoided. You can reread the Big Book and strive to gain greater knowledge. When you think of September as an opportunity for opening yourself up to new discoveries, you can become more deeply involved in all aspects of your recovery: in your mind, your body, and your spirit. What you choose to do can help you to continue on your new path in life— one in which you are clean and sober. I dedicate this month to renewing and strengthening my commitment to recovery. ************************************************** ~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~ And this is my way o' looking at it: there's the sperrit o' God in all things and all times—weekday as well as Sunday—and i' the great works and inventions, and i' the figuring and the mechanics. And God helps us with our headpieces and our hands as well as with our souls. . . . ~ George Eliot ~ The concept of a Higher Power may have been difficult for us to understand as children. But many of us still question the existence of anything beyond us that will help us get well. A Higher Power's existence can be evidenced in many nonreligious ways. The creative gifts given to an artist, people who smile at us and call us friends—these are evidence of a Higher Power. The Higher Power of the program is an overriding feeling of peace and serenity. We can rake in that feeling when we detach, when we say the Serenity prayer, when we ask for help, even when we breathe deeply and relax. There is a greater Power for all of us who want to believe, whenever we're ready. I believe I can find peace and serenity in my life. Tonight I can ask for help to find it. ************************************************** ~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~ Practicing spiritual principles Just exactly what can we do to put our spiritual principles into practice? Here are some ideas. We can say love when others say hate. We can say people when others say money. We can speak up when others are silent. We can carry on when others give up. We can offer help when others withdraw. We can follow the program while others search for a softer way. How active is my spiritual life? Higher Power, help me find the courage to practice my spiritual principles. The spiritual principle I will practice today is God help me to stay clean and sober today! ************************************************** ~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~ Action is eloquence. ~ WILLIAM SHAKESPEATTE ~ Newcomer I think I'm willing to make amends, but what if the person I'm making amends to doesn't let me? I have family and friends who are uncomfortable if I talk about feelings or about anything having to do with the past. Sponsor Some people in our lives may not be quick to believe that we've gone through significant changes. If they’re not ready to rely on us, to trust that things will be different, it may be less painful for them not to hear us speak of how we’ve harmed them in the past. Accepting that we caused harm in the past as a result of our addictions may trigger feelings of guilt about their role in their relationship with us, and it may require that they look at the role of addiction in their own lives. It may be painful for people to remember how they've been hurt by you or me. Or, as you're suggesting, they may simply be people who are uncomfortable talking about or listening to feelings. Making amends isn't just saying we’re sorry. What “making amends" really means is changing. We can amend relationships with other people by taking sober actions, by not repeating the kind of behavior that caused harm in the past. In time, they may be able to see that we are dependable and consistent, and that our role in relationships has changed for the better. Our sense of completion with Step Nine doesn't depend on the way others respond. The change is within us. Today, my self-esteem comes from doing things differently. ************************************************** ~ THE EYE OPENER ~ The secret of cutting any tree down, regardless of size, is to hew it one chip at a time. Men are not put in a position to do great things until they have established the reputation for doing many small things well. If you have the great ambition to bring happiness to a whole world, a good starting point is within your own undershirt. ************************************************** ~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~ Blaming the Past O Lord, help me stop blaming the factors that I think contributed to my addiction: parents, relatives, friends, the church, and most important, myself. Help me realize that understanding may be helpful, but blaming is always counterproductive. The Program teaches that the reasons are not that important. My progress and growth in recovery are based on the spiritual. God, help mc focus on how Your Spirit, in me and through me, guides me away from blaming the past. ************************************************* ~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~ AN OUNCE OF PREVENTION The old adage, "An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure," is just as true in the spiritual life as it is in the material world. A great many people wait to make their contact with God until a serious difficulty is upon them and then they hasten to find a spiritual solution. Of course, it is better to seek God under such circumstances than never to find Him at all. But why wait for trouble? Many a difficulty could be prevented or lightened if we were to make our contact with God now. The Bible says now is the day of salvation. Now is the accepted time. If you will put your life in God's hands now through daily prayer and meditation and complete willingness to do His will, you will find that your problems will grow less as time goes on, and you will have acquired that serenity and poise that only God can give. Then, come what may, nothing shall disturb you. And now, Lord, what wait I for? My hope is in thee (Psalm 39:7). ************************************************** ~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~ True Offering What the Holy Spirit does with gifts you give each other, to whom He offers them and where and when is up to Him. ~ A Course in Miracles ~ In Bali I attended a service at a stately ancient temple on a high cliff overlooking the ocean. During the service, a large basket of fresh fruit was placed on the altar as an offering to the gods. After the ceremony, a group of monkeys emerged from the adjacent forest, made a beeline for the altar, ravaged the fruit, and cast banana peels on the floor. As I observed this destruction, I felt somehow violated. I found an old temple-keeper and pointed out to him, "The monkeys are eating the offering to the gods!" He smiled and calmly answered, "Yes, they do that every day," and went on with his sweeping. Then I understood the whole point of an offering: lf the people made an offering to the gods, and the gods decided to give it to the monkeys, who was I to try and boss the gods? The chances were slim that the bodiless gods would just strike the altar with lightning and consume the fruit by vaporizing it into thin air. No, physical meals end up in physical bodies; even if the monkeys did not get to the fruit first, it would be eaten by bugs or some other critters. Why not feed God's creatures? True offering requires that we release the gift after we offer it; otherwise we're tainting the gift with our need to control its destiny. Then it is not a gift at all; it is a guilt bargain. Communication is an offering. When you tell someone your truth, you must release your expectation of what the other person should do with it. They may thank you profusely, love you forever, argue with you, or ignore you. It doesn't matter. Of course we hope the gift will be received with appreciation and thanks. But if it isn't, we must not dictate. We've done our part, and we must trust the universe to do the rest. I offer my truth without attachment to results. I offer all my gifts to You, trusting You to use them in the highest way possible. I give and let go. I trust God to use my gifts wisely. |
September 3
Step by Step "Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it." - Step Ten " ...Step Ten ...suggests we continue to take personal inventory and continue to set right any new mistakes as we go along. We vigorously commenced this way of living as we cleaned up the past. ...Our next function is to grow in understanding and effectiveness. This is not an overnight matter. It should continue for our lifetime. Continue to watch for selfishness, dishonesty, resentment and fear." - Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, Ch 6 ("Into Action"), p 84. Today, let me not neglect Step 10 as the extension of the Fourth Step, that the reason for the 10th is to maintain for the rest of my life the clean-up from the Fourth. It does little good if the character defects and conduct I acknowledged and reconciled in my Fourth crop up again but are not quickly acknowledged and corrected. To do so could diminish the quality of my sobriety at best and, at worst, build up to explode in a slip or relapse. Going through the brute honesty of a Fourth does not guarantee that the wrongs I found will not creep up again and, today, if they do, give me the wisdom of honesty and humility to admit them and come to terms. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M. ************************************************** ~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~ ADMISSION There are defeats more triumphant than victories. ~ Montaigne ~ When we were using, did we ever admit anything without leaving ourselves a way out? Did we once unconditionally surrender and admit we were absolutely licked? How many times did we reach the end of the road and pretend it really wasn't? Why did it seem that enough was never enough for us? If there was any more misery or agony to be squeezed out of our lives, we seemed compelled to do so. What was it that held us back from a firm and final admission of our powerlessness over our addiction? It was when we were flat on our backs with the heel of life pressed down on our throats that we heard ourselves moan to God, "this is, indeed, the bottom." It was then and only then that we made our First Step admission, a no-holds-barred surrender that the time had finally come to give it all up. Admitting I was powerless seemed like the worst possible defeat. But I have come to realize it was the beginning of the greatest victory. ************************************************** ~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~ Our faith should quell our fears, never our courage. ~ William Sloane Coffin ~ Courage is a core value for a man, but without fear, there is no need for courage. Our path to this point in our lives was governed by fear more than most of us ever realized or wanted to admit. We were driven into the arms of addiction and codependency by fear and anxiety. Our substance of choice gave us a feeling of control, and we developed a knee-jerk habit of grasping for it. Even before our fears for our well-being could rise to consciousness, we were scanning the world for ways to gain that sense of control. For some of us that meant anxiously controlling the people around us; for others it meant running off to the casino or escaping into pornography. The centerpiece of our recovery is a completely different way to soothe our uneasiness. It is a belief that if we turn to a Higher Power, we can quell our fears and find serenity without the destructiveness of our old habits. We learned the old ways over time and this new way takes time to learn as well. We can start immediately to turn our life over to a Higher Power and as we do, we will find greater comfort in return. Today I will admit my fears and anxieties, finding courage by turning to faith in a Higher Power. ************************************************** ~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~ Don’t waste your time hating a failure. ~ Clarissa Pinkola Estes ~ We are members of the human community. We make mistakes as we trek through this forest. We must remember that our mistakes offer us opportunities for new understanding. If we lived without error, our lives would be static, unchanging. Our emotions remind us that we are very much alive. Self-hatred has been common among us. Anger, resentment, remorse, and terror are likewise familiar. Emotions will always play key roles in our lives. They can inspire us to action; they can also impede us. One of the most important lessons of recovery is knowing when to act and when to be still, when to forgive ourselves and when to feel shame, when to let go and when to take charge. Deciding to move ahead instead of being shamed by a failure is evidence that we are recovering. I will accept my failures today as part of my humanity and part of my education. I am here to learn. ************************************************** ~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~ I feel better this month Last month I didn't want to accept addiction on top of my emotional illness. I wanted to quit taking medication and I thought about skip- ping my Step meetings. I even thought about having a drink—just one. It was a period of anger, conflict, and denial. But I worked through it with the support of my therapist, and now I'm working hard again on my dual recovery. Things are looking up. I got my meds adjusted so I am not as tired all the time and I asked a friend in my home group to be my sponsor and she said yes. I'm feeling better about myself these days. I admit that I have two problems and I am glad that I am dealing with them, little by little. Today I will start keeping a list of any changes I make as I recover. ************************************************* ~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~ Let the events about to come, come! ~ Kabir ~ If we stay open to the will of our Higher Power, everything happens as it should. Sometimes we don’t understand or can’t get the “big picture.” Since we can’t see into the future, we can become angry and resentful with the way events are unfolding. We’re sure we know a better way, or just don’t think our Higher Power really knows what He’s doing. This grandiosity can lead to the loss of both our serenity and acceptance of our powerlessness. We want to change the things we can’t, which leads to frustration and general ill will. Do we really trust our Higher Power? Can we be patient and learn the meaning of events in our Higher Power’s time, not ours? If so, we can live for today. We will be given only what we can handle in each day. We needn’t project and worry about tomorrow or yesterday. We are beginning to trust our Higher Power in a new way by letting go of the need to have everything explained to us before it is permitted to happen. We know our Higher Power loves us and will guide us through the events that are to come. Today help me welcome the day and the opportunities to grow and learn what my Higher Power has in store for me. ************************************************** ~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~ Good for the body is the work of the body, and good for the soul is the work of the soul, and good for either is the work of the other. ~ Henry David Thoreau ~ Police officers and those in the military wear equipment that offers critical protection from bullets and bombs. Deep- sea divers must wear gear that will insulate them from cold temperatures and regulate their internal pressure so they can ward off the crushing pressure of the depth. Over the years, you may have fashioned your own protective gear. You may have created an outer shell designed to protect you from feeling your emotions, from opening yourself up to new opportunities, and from developing a spiritual connection. You may have kept yourself locked up within this shell, engaging in your habit while you kept the outside world from entering your life. Your journey in recovery can be likened to entering a new environment. It is a safe place in which you do not need protective armor and where you can change how you approach life. By developing an attitude of acceptance, openness, and a willingness to take risks, you can free your body from the imprisonment of addiction. You can experience life in all of its richness and fullness and, in so doing, flourish. I will shed my protective armor so I can grow with a positive, open, and welcoming attitude. ************************************************** ~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~ Avoid friends and followers who are detrimental to thy peace of mind and spiritual growth. ~ Tibetan Rosary of Precious Gems ~ Who are the friends we love tonight? Are they healthy in mind, body, and spirit? Do we learn from them and grow with them? Are they an important part of our lives? Through our growth in the program, we may look at our friends of the past and recognize they were not the best influences on us. In fact, they may have been as needy, sick, confused, obsessive, and miserable as we were. Perhaps that's why they were our friends: they were just like us. But now we may have different friends and they may be like us: healthier, happier, more mature, and more capable. The people we choose as our friends validate us and our growth. If we choose to be around unhealthy people, then we, too, are unhealthy. Yet if we choose to be around people concerned about their growth, who ask for help when necessary, who can receive yet also give, then we are like those people. They are the mirrors through which we see ourselves. When I look in the mirror, what do I see? How can I improve my image and my personal growth? ************************************************** ~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~ Giving tough love We need to support those who still suffer, but it doesn’t help to pity them. That’s unfair. To get well, they need to know exactly what they’re up against and what they need to do. They need the whole story about ad-diction and the hope of recovery. Can I be candid and caring at the same time? Higher Power, help me to see how I can best help those who still suffer. Today I will practice being honest and direct by God help me to stay clean and sober today! ************************************************** ~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~ Friends, though absent, are still present. ~ CICERO ~ Newcomer Some of the people on my list of amends have moved, and I have no idea how to locate them. Sponsor Our new willingness to take responsibility for our choices has begun a process of healing within us. If we've made sincere efforts to locate people on our amends list, but haven't succeeded perfectly, then it's time to let go. Step Nine begins "Made direct amends to such people wherever possible" (emphasis added). There are circumstances over which we have no control. My own experience, like that of many people in Twelve Step fellowships, is that once we're in recovery, threads from the past begin to weave themselves back into our lives. Surprisingly often, unexpected opportunities to make amends present themselves. If such opportunities haven't yet arisen, we can be calm and confident that we have done our part simply by recognizing that amends are called for and by having the willingness to make them. Knowing this, we can have a measure of serenity when we think of people who aren't part of our present lives. Today, I have the willingness for healing in all of my relationships. ************************************************** ~ THE EYE OPENER ~ Faith is probably the first natural virtue that the human being acquires. A baby’s reaction to its mother is different from earliest infancy. It is an instinctive faith that this one person, above all others, can and will supply all its needs. This faith in mother decreases as the child develops and becomes more self-reliant. He loses faith in the parent as he develops faith in himself. Finally he arrives at a point where he depends upon himself entirely. When Alcoholism develops and he begins to lose faith in himself, he feels completely helpless. He must then start rebuilding faith, first in the Group or his Sponsor, then in the Program itself, and finally in God. When this is accomplished then faith returns in himself. ************************************************** ~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~ Stop Fixing Others Dear Higher Power, when I am overly dependent on others, I try to fix them. I have a real talent in pinpointing what is wrong with other people. But the very thing that enables me to see their defects most often blinds me to the same, sometimes even worse, shortcomings in myself. Help me stop fretting about others and instead focus on correcting my own character defects. ************************************************* ~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~ WHAT DOES GOD EXPECT As children of the Most High we have a divine heritage and therefore a right to expect that God will take care of us in every way. The Bible is full of promises as to what God will do for His children, but perhaps Jesus put it the most plainly when he said, What man is there of you, whom if his son ask bread, will he give him a stone? Or if he ask a fish, will he give him a serpent? If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children, how much more shall your Father which is in heaven give good things to them that ask him? (Matthew 7:9-11). So you have a divine right to expect all these good things from God. But what does God expect of us? Well, God has a right to expect that we will put Him first in our hearts. Then God expects us to have a lively faith. Faith in itself is a reliance upon the goodness of God. And lastly, God expects us to go to Him in prayer—as a son who knows that even before he has asked, the loving Father has answered. ************************************************** ~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~ Simple Gifts My advice is: Go outside…enjoy nature and the sunshine...and try to recapture the happiness in yourself and in God. Think of all the beauty that is still left in you and around you and be happy. ~ Anne Frank ~ In the hotel lounge, a talented young pianist introduced a percussionist would join him on the next selection with some impromptu drumming. The guest took out two drum brushes and began beating them on a thick Portland telephone book. Following some fine jazz improvisations, the drummer took an extraordinary solo. Afterward, the duo received a rousing wave of cheers from the small but enthusiastic audience. The drummer reported, "Over the course of my career, I must have bought at least $3O,OOO worth of sophisticated electronic drum equipment, but I must say that nothing I have ever played electronically compares with brushes and a phone book." I had to agree. The fellow had taken an inert object and made it sing. Increasing the complexity of life does not always deepen its quality. To the contrary, when we make our world complicated, we lose the truth that was obvious when we began. In a l950s survey, about 60 percent of the population described themselves as happy. When a similar poll was conducted in the mid-199Os, about 60 percent said they were relatively happy. During the 40 years between the two studies, technology advanced immeasurably. But people are not necessarily happier. That is because happiness comes from inside, not out. I pray to find beauty in the world as You created it. Help me to be satisfied with simple gifts. My life is enough because I am enough. |
September 4
Step by Step Today, remember gratitude and its importance in recovery. I can be grateful that the AA lifeline was tossed to me when I needed it, grateful for the peers in the program who stood with me and picked me up when I stumbled and fell, grateful that the 12 Steps have kept me clean and sober the last 24 Hours and, maybe most importantly, grateful that whatever problems I have even in sobriety are nowhere near as bad as they were in my drinking days. In feeling with sincerity a gratitude that my life in sobriety is far better than it was in my drinking, I can hope to develop the humility that is required to make progress in my sobriety - humility being my total surrender to my higher power and seeking His will for my life, not mine. Today, I measure my gratitude with the goal to bolster it for the sake of progress. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M. ************************************************** ~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~ UNITY All your strength is in your union. All your danger is in discord. ~ Longfellow ~ History is full of examples of how important unity in purpose and execution is in any act. Joining forces can create the triumph of good and the defeat of evil. "United we stand, divided we fall" has been a battle cry voiced by men and women from all nations and levels of society when they unite for a common cause. Those in the Program know from the very beginning of their recovery that building control over their addiction can never happen without the aid of others who have the same problems. Early in our program of growth, we were told about our First Tradition, that common welfare always comes first. Unless we recognize the fact that we need the help of other members, and are willing to go to any lengths to achieve success, we are headed for failure. "One for all and all for one" applies to my recovery. I can't do it alone. ************************************************** ~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~ If people concentrated on the really important things in life, there’d be a shortage of fishing poles. ~ Doug Larson ~ We win admiration for work, achievement, and competitiveness. We are told that a good man is a good provider. These are external rewards, but the rewards of relaxing, of rest and quiet solitude, of recreation are not external. We feel those rewards internally. They are the rewards of personal growth. Work addiction is a tempting mistake for us recovering men. We had big problems in the past and it feels wonderful to know that we can be competent in our work. We lived in crisis and our lives were out of control; that memory can haunt us for a lifetime, so work may now provide a welcome structure. But too much work can be another distraction from the important things. Sometimes we may need to schedule some free time with our families and with our friends, time simply for loafing. Taking a half hour each day for quiet thought and reflection, with no external sign of accomplishment, helps us to become better men. Today I will lighten my focus on work and make time for play. ************************************************** ~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~ There is a purpose for our existence which, at times, transcends human understanding. ~ Aphrodite Matsakis ~ In the midst of our pain-filled past, few of us believed there was purpose to our lives. Most moments were frantically lived and accompanied by burning dread. How long has it been since we felt that way? What a changed perspective we have cultivated now that we are clean and sober! We may not feel entirely safe every minute of every day. Old habits are not easily replaced. But we are coming to believe that it is no accident that we are in this program. The more we hear that our lives have purpose, the more comfortable we are with this understanding. As we progress through the Steps, it becomes easier to see the contribution past experiences made to current circumstances. Every piece has played its part, and we continue to evolve. I am fulfilling a greater purpose given to me by God. I may not understand my role today, but it will become clear in time. ************************************************** ~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~ I want to live I am slowly changing my life. I no longer use street drugs. I have given up my using friends. I have let go of my chemical defense against my emotional illness. I admit my serious problem, a dual disorder. These days I wake up feeling clearheaded. I am learning about my illnesses and coming to accept them. My new recovering friends care about me more than my old using ones. More and more I am facing the world and taking care of myself the best I can. I have developed some strength and courage. I truly want to live. Today I will feel my strength and take a healthy risk. ************************************************* ~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~ We have to learn not only why we are in the world, but also what the timing of things is. Thy time, not my time. ~ Elisabeth Kubler-Ross ~ When we look at the patterns in our lives, it seems that doors open and events happen at exactly the right time. Even when we don’t think so, even when it seems that the worst thing happens at the worst possible moment, God’s plan is operating perfectly. Letting the current of life carry us along works better than swimming upstream. When the time for change is near, the forces of nature seem to be cooperative and we find ourselves at the right place. It is frustrating to feel ready for change but stuck in a seemingly unchanging situation. God often seems to be watching a different clock that doesn’t chime and doesn’t bring us what we think we want, when we want it. Trust, patience, and a wider vision can be our best friends as we wait for the right door to open. Trusting that God knows what’s best for us will help us focus on the daily miracles we find along the road to change and renewal. Today let me realize that I am exactly where I’m supposed to be at this moment. ************************************************** ~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~ He was paralyzed with the impossibility of either belief or disbelief. ~ L. M. Boston ~ A spiritual leader had embarked on a mission to spread the word of God. One of his followers served as a scout, ensuring the roads ahead were clear. One day the scout returned with bad news: torrential downpours had caused a small stream to swell beyond its banks and they could not advance. The leader instructed them to make camp. The next morning, the leader asked the scout to check on the stream. “But we could not cross it yesterday,” the scout answered. “Please check,” said the leader. So the scout went ahead and checked. He returned with the same news. Each morning for a week, the leader asked the doubting scout to check on the stream. Once more the scout was sent to check, and this time he returned with good news: they could cross the stream. “There is a lesson to be learned in this,” the leader said. “One doubt should not breed eternal doubt. God ensures that what was yesterday is not the same as today. And so it is with faith. To believe, you must replace doubt with faith. Each day you must awaken with faith because one day your faith will be rewarded.” I will be steadfast in my faith so I can overcome my doubts and fears. ************************************************** ~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~ Loneliness is a bitter thing . . . more bitter when you think you have been freed from it and find it returning again. ~ Anne Cameron ~ It is a rare person indeed who never feels lonely. Even when we are surrounded by co-workers, friends, or family, we can still feel lonely. Now that we have the program and our Higher Power, why shouldn't we have feelings of loneliness? "What's wrong with me?" we may cry, thinking we are doing something to cause these feelings. But feelings of loneliness can reveal our need to get out more, to be with people. We may be so withdrawn into ourselves that we cannot see or hear others around us. Yet they are there. They have been there all day today, and they will continue to be there for us. If we listen to ourselves, we will be able to hear our needs crying out for attention. If we pay attention to our lonely feelings, we can open ourselves up to the "cures"—a phone call, a walk with a friend, a meeting, or a few hugs! Help me listen to my loneliness. I can then open myself up to others. ************************************************** ~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~ Coping with fear After getting clean and sober, we may suddenly become very fearful. Situations that never bothered us in our using days loom up at us. Some of us feel terror when riding with a careless driver. Some of us feel pan-icky at the thought of a burglar. Some of us fear losing our jobs for no good reason. As we regain our sanity, we may feel our lives become extraordinarily valuable. This is good, but it will help if we can practice trusting in our Higher Power and the fellowship. In time, our fears will diminish. Am I learning to handle fear? Higher Power, help me to believe that my process is normal and that I am not alone. I will deal with my fear today by God help me to stay clean and sober today! ************************************************** ~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~ Prayer needs no speech. ~ MOHANDAS GANDHI ~ Newcomer How can I make amends to someone who has died? Sponsor Relationships are healed in the heart. Loving communication need not be limited by time or space. It's useful to remember that our purpose in taking Step Nine is to amend ourselves and our behavior toward others, to end the cycle of guilt and isolation that will lead us back to active addiction. There are many ways of making amends to someone who has passed away. Those that I've personally experienced as beneficial and deeply healing include the following: (1) We can write a letter of amends and share it with a sponsor, spiritual adviser, or trusted friend in recovery. (2) We can speak to the person in our hearts, praying both before and after for a complete, healing communication. (3) We can use our imagination to create a simple ritual for an amends "visit." For example, to make amends to my mother, I prepared to spend an evening with her, cooked and ate food she used to enjoy, lit candles, and listened to a tape I was fortunate enough to have of her voice. Then I spoke aloud to her as if she were present, and made amends. I listened, in meditation, for a loving response. The power of this experience was far greater than I'd expected. When we make amends, whether or not the person to whom we're making them is physically present, we must be willing to forgive ourselves for what we wish we'd done differently. Today, I let go of all obstacles to making amends. ************************************************** ~ THE EYE OPENER ~ Too many of us ex-drunks expect too much when we get dried out. We, with characteristic impatience, see no reason why we can't, overnight, regain all our lost ground and get the fifteen thousand dollar job that other sober men get. Drying-out only gives us the opportunity to realize our ambitions. Ability always has been, and always will be, a factor to be reckoned with. Getting sober won’t make a musician out of a boilermaker. ************************************************** ~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~ For a Sane and Sound Sex Life Dear God, I pray for a sane and sound ideal for my sex life. I will subject each relation to this test—Is it selfish or not? I ask You to mold my ideals and help me live up to them. I will remember always that my sex powers are God-given and therefore good, neither to be used lightly or selfishly, nor to be despised and loathed. I must be willing to grow toward this ideal. I will treat sex as any other problem, and ask You what I should do in each specific situation. The right answer will come, if I want it. I earnestly pray for the right ideal, for guidance in each questionable situation, for sanity, and for strength to do the right thing. ~ Adapted from material in Alcoholics Anonymous, Fourth Edition, pages 69-70 ~ ************************************************* ~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~ NOT DEAD, BUT SLEEPETH Most hotel rooms are furnished with a notice that says "do not disturb." The guest has only to hang this outside the door and he can sleep in peace as long as he wishes. Some people appear to have hung such a notice on their brains; they deeply resent anything like a new idea, or even a new and better way of considering familiar things. They are slumbering away their lives in a kind of semi-coma; repeating mechanically the time-worn phrases and threadbare ideas of the past. Not dead, but sleepeth, might very well be said of them, and, indeed, their consciousness is a mental cemetery. If you have been sleeping like this, pull yourself together, rub the mental sleep from your eyes. Now is the day of salvation. Start right in today to handle at least one important part of your life in a new way. Break at least one rusty fetter today, and once this process begins you will be astonished to find how far you will go, and what wonderful things you will attain to. Awake thou that sleepest, and arise from the dead, and Christ shall give thee light (Ephesians 5:14). ************************************************** ~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~ How Big Is Your Wheelbarrow? Your reasoning is excellent; it’s just that your premise is all wrong. ~ Ashleigh Brilliant ~ When a laborer in a hardware factory asked the company president for a promotion, the CEO gruffly told him that he didn't have enough business savvy to be a manager. The laborer answered, "I'll bet you I can make it appear as if I'm bringing the company business, but I'll be robbing the organization blind without you knowing how. If I can pull this off, will you give me a promotion?" The president, a sportsman at heart, could not resist such a challenge. The next day at 5:00 P.M., the laborer showed up at the cash register of the factory store with a wheelbarrow full of items for purchase, One by one, the checkout clerk rang up each article, which the laborer paid for and took home. The next day he did the same, and the next, and the next. The president, watchful for the laborer's deception, gave strict orders to be sure that every item in the wheelbarrow was paid for, and that the laborer was searched for concealed articles. After a few weeks, the company showed a loss in profits, and by the end of the quarter, it was in the red. Finally the president called the laborer into his office and conceded the bet. "Now you must tell me how you've gotten away with your plot under such scrutiny. What have you been stealing?" A sneaky grin grew on the laborer's face as he answered, "Wheelbarrows." You can work profusely to make cosmetic changes in your life, but unless you address the foundation of your belief system, no real change will occur. Our consciousness is the wheelbarrow that carries all of our activities, and if our container is faulty, everything in it is liable to leak. Do you believe in a universe of abundance, love, and support, or do you think in terms of lack, loss, and separation? It will do you no good to make a change in the outer world unless you first change your consciousness. Change your mind about the nature of life, and accept the presence of God in it, and everything else will change automatically. Be in my thoughts today. With You at my center, all must go well. I build my world on the reality of Spirit. |
September 5
Step by Step "Each group has but one primary purpose - to carry its message to the alcoholic who still suffers." - The Fifth Tradition Today, as a humble member of one of thousands of AA groups, I look to the this tradition to determine if my contribution to my group is sufficient or if I can find more that I can and should do. And what I do must be within the command of the Fifth Tradition - to reach out to the alcoholic who still suffers. This tradition does not limit itself to the drinking alcoholic, however, and includes those who still struggle in recovery. As part of my group, let me remember that not only is my group there for me, but I am there for the group, and my example to those who continue to hurt must be a reflection of the program itself. Today, I try to understand that my sobriety comes with the responsibility to represent the program that led me to sobriety. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M. ************************************************** ~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~ ACT MEDIUM Sign at a 12 Step Meeting: Nobody act big; nobody act small; everybody act medium. ~ Anonymous ~ When we live medium, do we necessarily deny our greatness and our potential? The answer is no. When we live according to the slogan, "Nobody act big, nobody act small, everybody act medium,” we acknowledge that everybody has greatness, and our greatness is not superior to anyone else's. This is hard for us because we are used to feeling special, sometimes low, sometimes high, but always special. Self-centeredness has caused us to want to be higher or lower than others. The Fellowship and our Traditions teach us to rise side by side. At our meetings we are careful to distinguish between our opinions and our experiences. It isn't as important to us that anyone listen to what we have to say as it is important that we freely share with the hope that it might be helpful to someone. My ego fits itself to my heart and soul. If my heart and soul are in line with my Higher Power, my ego is inline. ************************************************** ~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~ Nothing happens unless first a dream. ~ Carl Sandburg ~ Knowing ourselves is partly a matter of forming our dreams for who we want to become. These dreams are constantly evolving as long as we live. They give us purpose in our daily lives and point us in the direction we want to go. We can advance our growth by taking pencil and paper and quickly jotting down our dreams and goals. This simple list can be carried in our billfold, and we can react to it and modify it over time. Sometimes we resist writing these things down, or even thinking about them, because we may not dare to admit our true motivations and dreams. But even if we don’t admit our dreams, they still shape our behavior. When we acknowledge what we most want, we become better men. Today I will take the risk to form a clear idea of my fondest dreams. ************************************************** ~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~ Never pass up an opportunity to tell your loved ones you love them. ~ Sharon Walters ~ We all know how wonderful it feels to be told we are loved. As children, however, some of us seldom heard this. And as adults we may have been in relationships that didn’t nurture us. We, too, may have trouble telling other people how much we care. So often we imitate the very behaviors we have grown accustomed to, even if they are self- defeating. We are learning through this program that we can develop new behaviors. We are also learning to be patient with ourselves when our learning curve is longer than we had anticipated. Old patterns are not easily broken. Fortunately, we are surrounded by wonderful friends and caring sponsors who will help us work on the behaviors we want to change. Through the program we are learning that God’s main lesson involves learning how to give and receive love. Initially we may have to act as if we love others. We may have to force the words. But we will grow comfortable with loving others. I will share my love with a friend or a relative today. My need to give love may even exceed the other per-son’s need to receive it. ************************************************** ~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~ I am learning to live with my feelings In one way, using alcohol and drugs was exciting. I could just take a drink or pop a pill to change my mood (even if it lasted only a short time). I felt I had some control and power. But now that I am abstinent, I use no alcohol or street drugs. With nothing to alter my mood, I am more aware of how I am feeling at any time. Sometimes there's pain, sometimes boredom. (There's certainly less control.) And more and more, there's even some joy. In short, I am slowly learning to accept and to live with my feelings. I believe that the reward of long-term recovery is worth it. I will pray for strength to handle my feelings (and call for support as needed). ************************************************* ~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~ Come forth into the light of things, Let Nature be your teacher. ~ William Wordsworth ~ When life seems filled with stress, nature can help us find harmony between our bodies, minds and spirit. Walking on the beach on a Sunday morning, hearing the sound of the waves crashing against the breakwater, we can hear our own thoughts, and all of life, more clearly. When we jog, the rhythm of our steps and the fresh air draw us inward. We form a closer relationship with our inner self. Complex problems take on simpler dimensions and our confidence grows. At times like these, we feel a profound intimacy with our Higher Power and the best that is in us. Our new awareness of nature’s simplicity and harmony brings us a great sense of peace and well-being. Confident in our Higher Power’s love, we can face the future with serenity. Today help me feel close to nature and my Higher Power. Help me find harmony in all areas of my life. ************************************************** ~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~ Perhaps loving something is the only starting place there I is for making your life your own. ~ Alice Koller ~ Because you may have been hurt by feeling and expressing love in the past, you may have learned to equate love with pain and disappointment. Because the love you were shown may have been conditional, given to you only when a parent or a partner was in a good mood, you learned that love was inconsistent. Without knowing love as a wonderful experience that builds you up rather than tears you down, you may have learned to fear the emotion. When others showed you love, you may have felt that there was something wrong with them or there was an ulterior motive to their love. You may have believed that love was never meant to last and doubted that you were even deserving of love. Love is simply part of the foundation on which you build who you are as a person. It is a cornerstone from which you can learn and grow. Love that is neither felt nor expressed presents you with an incomplete life. Develop a love of your self, a love of a Higher Power, and a love for the goodness of others, and you will find there is nothing to fear in love. Today I will express and feel love. ************************************************** ~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~ Rest is not a matter of doing absolutely nothing. Rest is repair. ~ Daniel W Josselyn ~ When we are sick, it is evident we need rest because our bodies tell us so. But when we are healthy, it is more difficult to hear those messages. So we may work overtime, stay up later, or spend more time on chores or projects. But if we learn to listen to our bodies, we will pick up subtle messages that signal a need for rest. Tight muscles, a backache, a slight headache, and tired eyes are some o[ those messages. When the batteries wear down in a flashlight, the light becomes dimmer until it finally goes out. Before our "bulbs' go out and we fall victim to ill health, we need to remember our inner batteries can't run without rest. Resting doesn't necessarily mean doing nothing. Rest is slowing our pace, becoming less active, less tense. Going to a meeting can be restful. Reading literature, watching television or a movie, listening to music, or talking to friends are all forms of rest. Resting recharges our batteries so we can continue to shine bright and strong. Tonight I will recharge my batteries so I can shine tomorrow. ************************************************** ~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~ Practicing abstinence We must always remember that absolute abstinence is the keystone to our recovery. Using any mood-altering chemicals will prevent us from working the program effectively. They flip our thinking back into old patterns and eventually con us back into full-blown addiction. There are many products we must be careful of: antihistamines, cough syrups, over- the-counter sleeping pills, caffeine tablets, and others. If we experience addiction and compulsions, we must be extremely careful about what we put into our mouths. Am I staying absolutely clean? Higher Power, help me to accept my addiction and the need to abstain from any mood-altering chemicals. I will strengthen my abstinence today by God help me to stay clean and sober today! ************************************************** ~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~ Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it. ~ JOHANN WOLFGANG VON GOETHE ~ Newcomer How is making amends going to change me? Sponsor For me, the experience of making amends was—and is—profoundly life-changing. I'd been carrying a burden of guilt with me everywhere. Even when I didn't realize it, a large part of my mental and physical energy was being used to carry it. It was always with me, keeping me from feeling free. When I finally started to make amends, all that weight I was carrying disappeared. An amend doesn't stop with apologizing or making restitution. It's a commitment to change. Having gone through the process of admitting that I'd done some damage, accepting that the work of restitution was mine, and making the required amends, I became morally awake. I began to understand the consequences of my behavior. Not that I've become perfect; I still do things that harm others. But seeing and admitting my responsibility for what I do and say has become a habit. With old amends over and done with, we don't have to be afraid of whom we'll meet. We don't have to hide from ourselves or anyone else. Today, I'm free. I don't have to pick up my addiction. I don't have to behave in old, familiar ways. ************************************************** ~ THE EYE OPENER ~ If you are a Person who likes his drink and yet has to forego his pleasure in order to retain some semblance of order in your life, you will naturally be miserable. For you there is but one remedy. Get busy on the Program, talk it, work it, preach it, think it, pray it, live it—then you will find that you like it. ************************************************** ~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~ Quiet My Mind Dear Lord, teach me to quiet my mind. Stop my thoughts from racing from one thing to another. Stop me from the obsessive thinking about the lives of others. Help me rest and quiet my mind. Help me let go of trying to control the lives of others. Free my mind to be at rest. This I pray. ************************************************* ~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~ THE CAPTAIN IS ON THE BRIDGE The world is not going to the dogs. The human race is not doomed. Civilization is not going to crash. The captain is on the bridge. Humanity is going through a difficult time, but humanity has gone through difficulties many times before in its long history and has always come through, strengthened and purified. Do not worry yourself about the universe collapsing. It is not going to collapse, and anyway that question is none of your business. The captain is on the bridge. If the survival of humanity depended upon you or me, it would be a poor lookout for the Great Enterprise, would it not? The captain is on the bridge. God is still in business. All that you have to do is to realize the Presence of God where trouble seems to be, to do your nearest duty to the very best of your ability; and to keep an even mind until the storm is over. Great peace have they which love thy law: and nothing shall offend them (Psalm 119:165). ************************************************** ~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~ Tell Me Why The only meaningful contribution the healer can make is to present an example of one whose direction has been changed for him, and who no longer believes in nightmares of any kind. ~ A Course in Miracles ~ My friends Cheeah and Fairoh are a lovely couple who have dedicated themselves to peaceful living, and they make a real effort to walk their talk. As a result, they exude a quietness that is inspiring; simply to be in their presence is a delight. While giving a talk on creative writing at a community college, they opened the floor to questions. "Something about you is different," one student noted sincerely. "What is it?" The young woman had been touched by the gentleness of the couple's presence, which was a welcome contrast to the sharpness of many teachers she had known. To walk with the peace of God in your heart is to transform the world by your presence. When love is your keynote, there is nothing in particular you need do; your gift is your being. Many people seek to change the world by getting everyone to join their religion or organization, use their product, agree with their philosophy, or replicate their experience. But real transformation does not come from manipulating people or events; it proceeds naturally from inner awakening and then living the light. Often our attempts to create social change are a distraction from the real work of changing ourselves. Ram Dass observed angry bickering on the board of an organization dedicated to bringing health care to Third World countries. "What's the use of working for world peace," Ram Dass asked, "if you cannot even get along with the person working at your side?" Jesus suggested that we be in the world, but not of it. Let us move through our daily activities with the peace of God in our hearts, and thus establish love on the planet. Lord, make me an instrument of Your peace. Help me give healing by my being. I am the light of the world. I live the truth I know. |
September 6
Step by Step Today, amends to myself among those I damaged in my drinking days. There is wisdom that I cannot be thoroughly honest and humble to others if I do not first make amends to myself, amends in the form of accepting my behavior and its consequences and, most importantly, amends in forgiving myself. In making amends, we seek forgiveness, and we cannot expect forgiveness from others if we do not first forgive ourselves. And how can we forgive ourselves? We start by acknowledging and accepting the pain and damage we inflicted and be willing to accept the consequences instead of dodging or deflecting them. In some cases, we may never be able to atone for our sins, but our highest amend may be to be clean and sober in this day, one day at a time. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M. ************************************************** ~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~ INTEGRITY Tell me to live by yes and no: yes to everything good, no to everything bad. ~ William James ~ When we were practicing our addictions, we lost track of what was right and wrong, honest or dishonest. Pride was defended. Anger was justified. Lust was accepted. Gluttony was encouraged. Envy was normal. Greed was there to be satisfied. Laziness was a way of life. In recovery, regaining our integrity is difficult and confusing. Learning to be honest is hard when we've lost track of our souls. Working the Steps puts us in touch with our Higher Power, who is guiding us back to truth. We finally come to recognize and rediscover the integrity in ourselves by simply knowing that what is right is what we feel good about and what is wrong is what we feel bad about. I examine every thought and action to make sure it's right or wrong for me. If I don't feel good about it, I connect it as soon as it becomes clear to me that I've made a mistake. Learning to trust my thoughts and feelings again takes time and practice. ************************************************** ~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~ Never bear more than one kind of trouble at a time. Some people bear all three—all they have had, all they have now, and all they expect to have. ~ Edward Everett Hale ~ Learning to manage our worries and our darker memories is part of becoming a stronger person. If we don’t exercise some choice over them, we can get swallowed up in a chain reaction: one problem ignites fear and pain about all the others. Understanding the wisdom of powerlessness becomes an excellent guide for us in focusing our mind when troubles assail us. We accept that many things aren’t within our control to create or to stop. All we can do is hope and pray and turn the results over to our Higher Power. We don’t subject ourselves to a pity session or a major anxiety attack by letting one challenge remind us of everything that has gone wrong in the past or could go wrong tomorrow. We live in the present, we deal with what is before us at the moment, and we pray for the serenity to accept the rest. Today I will live in the present. ************************************************** ~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~ My daughter has changed my life completely. For the first time I have stepped out of myself and given absolute, unconditional love to someone. ~ Robyn Halsema ~ Deciding to step outside of ourselves, whether to love another person or to focus less on ourselves, is healthy. Being obsessed with ourselves, which we alcoholics and other addicts tend to do, exaggerates every element of our lives, making it nearly impossible for us to maintain a balanced, healthy perspective. Our self-consciousness and self-absorption isolate us. The more our attention centers on us, the less we grow in our understanding of how life is designed to unfold. Our growth suffers when we cut ourselves off from the other women and men who are in our lives to act as our teachers. We will learn much about who we are and what we are here to do when we join with other people and express our gratitude and love for their presence in our lives. I can resist the temptation to isolate myself today. Expressing even a small token of love or gratitude to another woman will give me peace and a measure of health. ************************************************** ~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~ I need to practice letting go Before recovery I worried about losing my job. My symptoms were getting worse and it was getting harder to go to work and be productive. Briefly I tried to keep it together through will-power. Then I tried medicating my symptoms with alcohol and drugs. But in the long run, they didn't help either. I simply developed an addiction on top of my emotional problems. Now I'm finally accepting help with my dual disorder through a therapist and a Twelve Step program. But at times I still worry about losing my job. Fortunately, these days I can take a spiritual approach to my fears. Less and less do I have to "fix" them. Instead, for instance, I can work Step Three again and practice letting go. If I keep up my medication, stay sober, and turn my worry over to my higher power—if I do what I can do for myself today—perhaps my job will take care of itself. I will read about Step Three in the Big Book today and be sure to go to an extra meeting this week. ************************************************* ~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~ God has no office hours. There is never a time when God is unavailable. ~ Emmet Fox ~ What a wonderful comfort to know God is always there to help us. There is no desert too distant or ocean too wide to get lost from God. God seems to like our simple prayers; sometimes just saying “please help me” will bring us a blessed feeling of peace and relief. Remembering to remember God’s constant presence is the answer. As soon as we recall God’s love, we feel a deep down letting go of our cares. We relax and sigh, "Yes, this is the solution.” But then we seem to forget again and rush about. Maybe we can find a way to tie a mental string around our finger to remind us that every problem we have has a spiritual solution. The more we practice pausing and letting God’s comfort flow through us, the safer life becomes. God is always there. Today help me remember that God never goes off duty. ************************************************** ~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~ It has been said that a butterfly flapping its tender wings in an Amazon rainforest can cause a tsunami in Indonesia. ~ Author unknown ~ One of the most amazing things about life is how inter-connected and united everything is. One small imbalance or a minor improvement can affect entire ecosystems and the ways in which people live. This is also true for the fellowship within the program of recovery. Imagine what would happen if one member decided to use the fellowship as a platform to encourage others to drink or use. Consider what might happen if one member presented the group with a different set of Steps to follow. A fellowship that is not united in a common purpose, that does not follow the guidelines of AA, or that allows even one member to disrupt meetings may put the recovery of others at risk. This can harm the physical health of others, their trust and faith in the fellowship, and their connection to a Higher Power. That is why it is important to remember that you are part of a much larger fellowship. You play an important role in ensuring that your fellowship does not become a personal platform for others. I will do my part to ensure my connection to AA follows the Traditions and Steps of the program. ************************************************** ~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~ Life is an experience of ripening. The green fruit has but small resemblance to that which is matured. ~ Charles B. Newcomb ~ When a lion cub is born, it bears little resemblance to its adult form. As it matures, it still is a far cry from being king of the jungle. It has tiny teeth, small paws, and a clumsy sense of balance. With training and time for growth, it learns to stalk and kill. Finally, it becomes a full-grown, mature lion with thick mane, long teeth, and powerful claws. Sometimes we are like that cub. We are acquiring skills, learning to grow emotionally, spiritually, and physically. Our footing may be clumsy, our efforts not always successful. But there are others who are experienced and can show us the way. There is a lion inside of each of us: strong, sure, and proud. We are growing and maturing toward this final form. Every day our footing becomes a little surer, our confidence greater, and our beliefs in our abilities stronger. Life is a process of growing from cub to lion, and each day takes us closer. Tonight I can feel the growth within me. I have strength, sureness, and pride that are just beginning to bud. ************************************************** ~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~ Dealing with now When we were using, we kept avoiding the present moment (it was too painful) by using mood-altering chemicals. Clean and sober, we see that right now is all we have. If we avoid it, we avoid life. Whether it’s getting to school or work, taking care of other daily duties, or staying clean and sober, am I doing what I need to be doing right now? Higher Power, help me be strong enough to do what I need to do right now. Today I will improve my level of awareness by God help me to stay clean and sober today! ************************************************** ~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~ They who forgive most, shall be most forgiven. ~ PHILIP JAMES BAILEY ~ Newcomer Some of the people I owe amends to aren't very kind or forgiving. How is making amends to them going to change anything? Sponsor The amends are ours, no one else's. We have no control over their effect on another person. Making amends changes us, whether we're met with silence, anger, or love. For me, taking Step Nine significantly improved my relationships with myself and with other people, but not because everyone understood or wanted to restore our former association. Rather, my action of asking other people to hear my apology was the beginning of deep healing for me. One woman with whom I'd had a financial disagreement had been writing angry letters to me from a distance for over two years. When I wrote to her admitting that I'd had an addictive problem and finally gave her the information she needed, she simply said, "That explains a lot." It was enough. I no longer had to cringe when I went to the mailbox: that was freedom. The amends you make will change you, whatever the response of those to whom you make them. Today, I trust myself enough to speak the simple truth. ************************************************** ~ THE EYE OPENER ~ The amount of compensation you get for your labors depends on the value of the currency, not the denomination of the bills. A million dollars in Chinese coin would break your back carrying it, but might not buy you a suit of clothes. The greatest compensation would therefore be that which would buy those things which you need and want. For services rendered your fellow men, God gives you his I.O.U., and they are better than cash on the line in any currency. ************************************************** ~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~ Amelia Earhart's Prayer Courage is the price that life exacts for granting peace. The soul that knows it not, knows no release from little things; Knows not the livid loneliness of fear nor mountain heights, where bitter joy you can hear the sound of wings. ~ by Amelia Earhart ~ ************************************************* ~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~ CAN HUMAN NATURE CHANGE? Shallow thinkers sometimes say doggedly and pessimistically, "Human nature never changes," or, "You can't change human nature." The truth is that there is no need for human nature to change. The nature of man is such that he can bring an unlimited quantity of good into his life. That is his nature, and no better arrangement could be imagined. Human nature is such that man can turn to God anywhere at any time, and by believing in His care and protection, and thinking in accordance with this belief, fill his heart with peace and poise, rebuild his body into health and strength, and surround himself with harmonious and joyous conditions. I am come that they might have life, and that they might love it more abundantly (John 10:10). ************************************************** ~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~ Miracles, Nonetheless Miracles arise from a mind that is ready for them. ~ A Course in Miracles ~ There is a debate among Biblical scholars as to whether God actually parted the Red Sea for Moses and the Israelites, or if it just happened to be low tide when they arrived. Was the occurrence natural or supernatural? It doesn't really matter—it was a miracle, nonetheless. If you showed up at the Red Sea with Pharaoh and his army in hot pursuit, and you were able to get across by the hand of God, low tide, or the Staten Island Ferry, you would be elated to escape, and you'd thank God for the gift of freedom, no matter how it manifested itself. While many miracles occur through inexplicable, supernatural means, many come about through seemingly mundane "coincidences." It is not so important how miracles happen, but that they do happen. Meeting the right person at the right time for the right purpose is just as valuable as if God plunked the person in front of you. While the reasoning mind wants to analyze and question, the childlike heart accepts blessings as gifts. When we habitually doubt, we paint ourselves into a corner and miss out on the greatest joys of life. A Course in Miracles suggests that each day be devoted to miracles. Keep your mind, heart, and eyes open for events that override the expectations of the fearful mind and demonstrate that we are loved. The more we look, the more we will find. Help me to be miracle-minded. Give me a childlike heart, that I may recognize You in all. I create miracles because I look for them. |
September 7
Step by Step Today, respect of the recovery programs of other individual members without imposing my own. What works for me in AA may not work for another individual, and vice versa. I can look at my own experience through the years and see that what works for me today would not have worked three years ago, and that what works for me today may not work a year from now. For life is an evolving process of change, as it should be. It is not my right to criticize someone else's program if it is keeping that person clean and sober and on the road of progress. Today, I respect that the program that works for me may not work for someone else and that another's program, if it works for him or her, is not "wrong" if it might not work for me. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M. ************************************************** ~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~ RAINY DAYS Unhappy sailors curse the rain for which poor farmers prayed in vain. ~ Anonymous ~ We lived our lives like a horse wearing blinders. We had tunnel vision and viewed the things around us with short-sightedness. Our attitudes were based on very few alternatives. We believed we could change things we couldn't. What if the day turns out to be rainy? We can't call room service and order up a different kind of day! We either adjust our attitude to a rainy day or we elect to pout and sulk because it is raining. The problem with many of us is that we have limited our outlook to just a few options. When we wake up to a rainy day and we check our "glad bag," we can't find our rainy-day joy-filled attitudes, because we have never cultivated an attitude of joy during bad weather. Sometimes we only have a sunny-day attitude in our glad bag and that does not fit a rainy day. Loving and accepting myself requires that I learn to be good to myself each day. I can only work on what my attitude toward that day will be, whether it brings rain or shine. ************************************************** ~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~ You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view. ~ Harper Lee ~ We came to this spiritual path with habits and addictions that had trapped us in a very childish and self- centered mind. Our strong need for control, our sense that we could count only on ourselves blocked us from learning to understand others. Now we are finding a fellowship in which we don’t have to be alone. Others reach out to us in helpful and generous ways. We have friends. The wonderful thing about a good friend is that we gain the opportunity to see through someone else’s eyes. We can borrow this person’s life experiences as if they were our own and learn those lessons without making the same mistakes. Or we can borrow our friend’s feeling of hope when our own hope is flagging. It’s not necessary to agree with someone to see things from his point of view. Sometimes we simply enlarge our scope by saying, “I see why you could feel that way.” The fellowship of good friends is one of the most humanizing experiences we can have. Today I will listen to others and try to borrow their eyes and ears. ************************************************** ~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~ I find myself wondering whether serenity is really attainable for women with small children. ~ Mary Casey ~ Serenity is a state of mind. Children, animals, co-workers, careers, traffic, ringing phones, bad weather, drinking partners—all can steal our serenity if we let them. Even beautiful weather and loving companions can’t guarantee serenity. Deciding to free our minds of the clutter that keeps us agitated is what assures our serenity. Focusing on our Higher Power and seeking guidance will bring us peace. Even during the most troubling times, we can be at peace if we quiet our minds, focus on the Spirit within us, and remember that our lives are uniquely purposeful. We are needed; we have a specific role to play; in the stillness we can best decipher our particular part. In the midst of havoc I can find the stillness, if that’s my desire. ************************************************** ~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~ I am coming to believe It has not been easy for me to believe in a higher power. I grew up with no one to trust. When I hit bottom with addiction and emotional illness—that is, when street drugs made the psychiatric symptoms worse—I felt hopeless and helpless, and realized I had nowhere to turn. But eventually I found a higher power in the spiritual fellowship of dual recovery. Slowly I am learning to talk to my higher power, to pray. Slowly I am learning to listen to my higher power, to meditate. These days I feel closest to my higher power at meetings, where I witness my fellow members' strength and feel their hope. Today I will tell my higher power about one problem I need help with. ************************************************* ~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~ Be not afraid of life. Believe that life is worth living and your belief will help create the fact. ~ William James ~ It is normal to feel once in a while that when everything is going wrong in life, maybe it would be better if life were over. But it is dangerous to nurture that feeling. Many things can and do go wrong, even in recovery. Someone else gets the job or promotion we were expecting. We break up with our boyfriend or girlfriend. A loved one is tragically killed in an accident. When things go wrong, the question often raised is, “What’s the use? We do our best, work hard, go to meetings, but things still go wrong, so what’s the use?” The answer is in our attitude. If we believe everything should always go our way, we will be disappointed and discouraged when things don’t. But if we believe life is the most precious gift we can have, no matter what pain or loss we experience, we will endure. In recovery, we’re learning that life can be good, and that God and others will help us through the bad times. We’re mentally, physically, and spiritually prepared for all that life may bring us. We are becoming grateful for life, our blessings, and even our problems. Today help me to believe that life is precious so I may not fear it, but rejoice in it daily. ************************************************** ~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~ A cruel story runs on wheels, and every hand oils the ! wheels as they run. ~ Ouida ~ Social media have become a fertile ground for spreading lies and rumors, which can sometimes border on bullying. Such postings inflict emotional hurt and make life so miserable for the subjects of such falsehoods that they can have devastating results. It is human nature to be drawn to gossip and innuendo. But to engage in it—even by listening—runs contrary to the need to be honest and respectful of others. You can let those who enjoy spreading gossip know that you will not tolerate listening to their rumors by asking them three questions. 1. “Is what you are going to share based on something that is truthful?” 2. “Is what you are going to share something nice or good about someone?” 3. “Is what you are going to share useful to know?” By asking these questions, you create a means of turn-ing aside rumor or gossip. You may also be able to raise the awareness of the speaker about the nature of gossip— that it is hurtful, rather than helpful. I will not engage in gossip or rumor about others in the program. ************************************************** ~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~ We have loved the stars too fondly to be fearful of the night. ~ Inscription in crypt of Allegheny, Observatory, University of Pittsburgh ~ Some people so love their work or hobbies that they almost seem to become different people when they're involved with what they love to do. Their voices becomes animated, their eyes light up, and they feel energized all over. What do we have in our lives that makes us feel that way? If we don't love doing something—just one thing—then we are missing out on an experience that drives us and challenges us to learn and grow. Loving what we do teaches us much about our abilities. Through the program of recovery, we may be learning we have a great deal of skill and talent we never knew we had. Developing these skills and talents can yield us more pleasure than we've ever had. What do I love to do? Tonight I can find pleasure in recognizing my skills and talents. ************************************************** ~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~ Finding the common bond We are one among so many and may feel “terminally unique.” We need help; we need each other. If we see that we’re all in the same boat, that we’re more alike than different, we can diminish whatever seems to separate us. Then we can offer each other our experience, strength, and hope. Can I look for the common bond? Higher Power, help me find what I share with my fellow travelers. To make a connection with one other person today, I will God help me to stay clean and sober today! ************************************************** ~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~ To be positive: to be mistaken at the top of one's voice. ~ AMBROSE BIERCE ~ Newcomer I have what I think is a spiritual problem. There's someone I had a major conflict with in my days of active addiction. He did something unforgivable to me, yet he blames me! He never made amends to me, and I'm sure he never will. I've heard that he still goes around bad-mouthing me to other people. I'm furious! How should I handle seeing him? Sponsor I'm glad that you see this as a spiritual issue that needs some resolution. It's important to find some way of dealing with the sense of being injured by an "enemy." Our days of gossip and criticism are over, and violent retaliation is not an option if we want to stay in recovery. Even after we have done Steps Eight and Nine, there may be people whose presence in our lives makes us profoundly uncomfortable. We don't have to be friends with everyone, and not everyone wants to be friends with us. You and this other person have shared a small piece of the past. It is the past, and it can stay there. When you see him, you can nod or say "hello" in acknowledgment of this mutual past, and move on; in all likelihood, he'll take the cue from you and move on, too. You might consider praying to refrain from further conflict with him, praying to heal the memories that disturb you, praying to live in the freedom of the present. You'll be surprised how much lighter your feelings will become. Today, I take my Higher Power with me wherever I go, even into my past. ************************************************** ~ THE EYE OPENER ~ Remember those days when you walked around with a chip on your shoulder—daring any and all the hostile world to knock it off and you were beaten and kicked at every turn. You were constantly fighting alcohol, and people, and things. The day finally came when you had had enough; you were beaten to your knees; the chips toppled from your shoulder when you surrendered, and your burdens became lighter at once. Actually you had only been fighting yourself all the time. ************************************************** ~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~ Looking for God Higher Power, I remember when I was new to recovery I was told to go out and find You. I made little progress until I realized, through surrendering my will, You had always been trying to find me. I then began to recognize the ways You are already here with me. Once I learned to feel Your presence, in my good and bad days, it became much easier to trust You and to surrender to Your will. ************************************************* ~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~ NO GRAVE ROBBING Don't, be a grave robber. Let corpses alone. In due course nature disposes of such remains, if they are left undisturbed. Every time you dig up an old grievance or an old mistake by rehearsing it in your mind or, still worse, by telling someone else about it, you are simply ripping open a grave—and you know what you may expect to find. Live the present. Prepare intelligently for the future—and let the past alone. This is what Jesus meant when he said, . . . let the dead bury their dead (Matthew 8:22). Make a law for yourself today that you are not going to touch mentally any negative thing that has happened up to the present moment—and keep that law. Life is too precious for grave robbing. The past is past—liquidate it. If a negative memory comes into your mind, cremate it with the right thought (the fire of Love) and forget it. ************************************************** ~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~ Experience, Not Opinion Stay at home in your mind. Don't recite the opinions of others. ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson ~ Vinny was a fellow with whom I enjoyed working. He was always very kind to me, and he followed through on his business agreements. When I spoke to others about Vinny, I heard quite a different story. I was astounded by the number of people he had managed to alienate, all of whom complained about his lack of integrity. When one of Vinny's competitors invited me to break my association with Vinny and work with him instead, I had to dig into my soul to determine my truth. While it was obvious that Vinny had created poor business relationships with nearly everyone else, that was not my experience with him. For whatever reason, he had shown me only kindness and fairness. I realized I would be out of integrity if I jumped ship because other people had had a bad experience with him. I told the other fellow that I was satisfied working with Vinny, and until I had an experience to the contrary, I would stay with him. No matter what experiences other people create, we have only our own to go by. Looking back, I see that it would have been cruel and unkind of me to leave Vinny because other people did not like him. My relationship with him was what it was, and it did not depend on what other people thought of him. In the film A Man for All Seasons, Thomas More was an English nobleman who faced extreme pressure to side with a criminal king. More was brought before a kangaroo court of his peers and urged to sign an oath of allegiance "for the sake of camaraderie." More's response: "When you go to heaven for following your conscience, and I go to hell for not following mine, will you join me there 'for the sake of camaraderie'?" Honor your friends by being true to your own experience. Help me be confident in my own truth, and live it. I create according to my own consciousness. |
September 8
Step by Step Today, choose to live in the solution of sobriety instead of the problem of alcoholism. Alcoholism isn't a problem unless we feed it, and the program strengthens us with the choice not to drink by guiding us through a thorough and honest inventory of ourselves with the purpose of deciding if drinking is worth the consequences it entails. I am an alcoholic. It's not a problem as long as I choose not to drink, though. And I choose not to whine that I cannot drink responsibly or moderately because, as an alcoholic, I do not have the luxury of responsible and moderate drinking anymore. Today, I can choose not to drink and live in the solution of being sober instead of the problem of fighting not to drink. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M. ************************************************** ~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~ CHOICES Good thoughts bear good fruit, bad thoughts bear bad fruit — and man is his own gardener. ~ John Leonard ~ Evil thoughts and destructive attitudes are not forced on us by fate. They are choices we make as we act and react to events in our lives. Before the Program, when negative things happened, our first reaction was to choose to react negatively: "Life's not fair." "Why did that have to happen to me?" "I hate them for doing that." "I'm going to get even if it's the last thing I do." It is easy to react positively when good things happen. But we have often chosen to react negatively to even good events. Good can be found in even the worst situations if we look for it. Bankruptcy can provide a fresh start. Defeat can allow rebuilding in a new and better way. Evil teaches us what is good. Death brings new life. Admitting our powerlessness finally gave us the freedom to make choices. By choosing good thoughts and attitudes, the garden of my soul will thrive. By choosing bad ones, it will shrivel and die. ************************************************** ~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~ Learn the alchemy true human beings know: The moment you accept what troubles you've been given, the door will open. ~ Rumi ~ Step One requires us to admit the trouble we face. We now know that until we do that, no progress can be made. Some of us honestly didn’t see the true nature of our powerlessness. Others knew the truth but re-fused to admit it. Once we have faced up to such a big admission of powerlessness, we start to see an important pattern. Now we can apply it to many everyday situations. Owning up to the truth of a problem opens the door. Something changes and we begin to deal with problems in a new and more effective way. Whether we have diabetes that needs daily attention, or a child with special needs, or a work situation that never improves, the formula is the same. Accept the matter for what it is, as hard as that may be, and new answers begin to emerge. In part, this is a spiritual process that seems to naturally lead us to the next step of turning to our Higher Power for comfort and guidance. This readies us for new possibilities. Today I will try to accept the reality that I face so that I am ready for new answers. ************************************************** ~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~ Education is a private matter . . . and has little to do with school or college. ~ Lillian Smith ~ Every experience educates us in some respect. Whether these experiences cause us pain or joy, they teach us about life. Some philosophers believe that our whole reason for being is to become more enlightened about the nature of the human and the divine. Our responses to every circumstance we encounter can instruct us about our inner self. Paying attention to how we act and, more important, react increases our understanding of who we are at specific moments. Taking charge of those reactions is always possible; it demonstrates willingness to “channel” our education. Does it really matter why we are here? All of us have been called to participate in this life. Growing in acceptance that all matters concerning us are like books to be read gives us confidence that no experience will be beyond our capacity to absorb. I eagerly anticipate what I will learn about myself today. I have been called to this moment. I am here. ************************************************** ~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~ I am responsible for my recovery Because I have a dual disorder, I need help from different caregivers. I need to learn to trust them, but I also need to listen to myself. When I first got help for my problems, I was treated for depression, then addiction, then depression again. Nobody really knew what was going on with me or how best to help me. Eventually I realized something: I needed to assume more responsibility for my recovery. With any treatment, I need to keep talking about what is—and what is not—working for me. I am the only one who really knows what I am feeling. When I speak up, I am taking care of myself. At some point in my day, I will take a quiet moment to find out how I am feeling. ************************************************* ~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~ The only way to have a friend is to be one. ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson ~ Growing up in a dysfunctional home taught us not to talk or trust or feel. Spending all our energy trying to survive, we were probably not taught how to have or be a friend. But we are learning this now. Although it requires some intense self-evaluation, the rewards outweigh the risks. The first step toward developing healthy friendships is to understand the disease that has afflicted us. When we know why we reacted the way we did, we can learn how not to repeat these behaviors. No longer sick and confused, we are making better choices now, and are able to act on them. Now we can find people who have shared our problem, people who can help us break out of our isolation. By attending meetings and talking with our sponsor, we learn to trust again. Sometimes it is hard, because we are trying to change behaviors that have been with us since childhood. But now we have a Higher Power to help us and sustain us. The friends we have now will last a lifetime. Soon we will feel confident that we can be a friend and will finally feel the warmth we’ve missed for so long. Today help me learn how to be a friend. ************************************************** ~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~ Man’s extremity is God’s opportunity. ~ John Flavel ~ Do you ever watch the news about some catastrophic natural disaster and expect to see people so devastated that they are nearly nonfunctional? And yet what you may see are people who exhibit calmness and even an eagerness to do whatever it is they need to in order to improve their situation. What you may hear is how deeply the people believe in God and the faith they have that things will get better. When do you turn to a Higher Power for guidance and support? For some, it is when a major calamity strikes. For those who are addicts, it may be when they finally hit bottom and come to the realization that they cannot sink any deeper. Through your helplessness and hurt, prayer to a Higher Power can help you begin the process of rebuilding. Prayer conveys your willingness to accept help. It gives you time in which to reflect upon your priorities and reevaluate them so you can consider new or different ways of doing things. It opens you up so you can learn better or more useful ways of navigating through a difficult period or trauma. And it builds a spiritual relationship that can last a lifetime. I reach out to a Higher Power so I may learn how to rebuild myself and my life. ************************************************** ~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~ Don't try to saw sawdust. ~ Dale Carnegie ~ The pile of sawdust that gathers under our wood-working can never go back to its previous form. The lumber used to build a house can never return to the forest as a tree. That is a law of nature: whatever takes on a new form can never return to its original state. We may believe this statement as a law o[ nature, but may not believe it also applies to the past, We can never go back to the past; the past can never become the present. We are not the same people today that we were when we were five years old, ten years old, or twenty years old. If we are always trying to live in the past, then we are trying to saw sawdust. To live in the present, we must work with new pieces of wood and make new piles of sawdust. Tonight, I can stop living the past and see the present for what it really is: clean, fresh, and new. ************************************************** ~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~ Feeling the joy Through this program we learn to live, we learn to work, we learn to play. We learn to be happy alone or with others. We learn love, and the result is joy. This joy in living sets us free: Our choices expand; what was out of reach before now comes into our reach. Recovering in the program is a form of walking joy. Am I experiencing and expressing joy? Higher Power, help me to see the great change in my life, to feel the joy. Today I will express my joy by God help me to stay clean and sober today! ************************************************** ~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~ Things get better. You don't necessarily get things. ~ WOMAN IN RECOVERY ~ Newcomer I heard a speaker bubbling about how recovery had miraculously given him his life back. He shared about how he'd finally gotten all these things he wanted: a house, a cat a relationship. I thought that wasn't the point of recovery at all—but I do have to admit that I felt envious of his charmed life. Sponsor There's a saying sometimes heard at AA meetings: "If you don't drink one day at a time, then you don't drink one day at a time." To some, this statement suggests that recovery is limited, promising nothing but a change in habits where our addictive substance or behavior is concerned. To others it suggests more: life is uncertain and unpredictable but those of us who don't pick up are guaranteed sobriety and a new way of life. The AA Big Book goes further, promising that significant emotional peace and freedom always result from taking the Steps with care and thoroughness. The measure of our growth in recovery is not the number and quality of possessions we've been able to accumulate but whether we're comfortable in our own skin, at peace with ourselves and others, able to treat ourselves and our fellow human beings with respect and care. Today, I work to allow the promises of recovery to materialize in my life. ************************************************** ~ THE EYE OPENER ~ In our introduction into AA we were admonished "Easy does it," in order to guard against the evil of trying to swallow more than we could digest. There is so much to AA that there is always the danger of taking an overdose. The wise AA doctor prescribes for alcoholism as a physician would for tuberculosis, very little medicine to be taken internally, but lots of fresh air and sunshine to be absorbed from day to day. ************************************************** ~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~ The Miracle of Meetings Thank You, God, for one of the great miracles of Twelve Step recovery—the wisdom, insight, and encouragement I receive in our meetings. As I listen to others share their adventures in letting go, surrendering to Your will, taking inventory, and practicing recovery principles, I always hear something that comforts or challenges me. Often the meetings alert me to a problem I am having and then give me hope and determination to keep pressing on. God, make me ever aware that what I do between meetings is what is really important. ************************************************* ~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~ THE UNICORN As long as we insist upon telling God His business, nothing very much can come of our prayers. The ox, the mule, the donkey, will obediently pull your plow and your cart, and take them where you want to go; but you have to know where that is, and how to get there. The unicorn will not do chores. He will not pull a cart or tum a mill. He will not take orders. The unicorn knows where he is going, and it is always somewhere that you could not choose because you never heard of it; and in your present consciousness you could not even dream that such a place could exist. Nevertheless, there are such places, and the unicorn knows them, and is not interested in anything less. Some day it may happen, probably when you least expect it, that the unicorn will suddenly appear at your side, eyes flashing, nostrils quivering, pawing the ground with impatience. When that happens, do not try to put a bridle on him, or to look for some task for him to do. He will not do it, and there will not be time. No sooner, seemingly, has he appeared than off he will go again. So do not pause, but leap upon his back, for he is a flying steed, and he wings his way to the gates of the morning. On that ride problems are not solved—they disappear. Will the unicorn be willing to serve thee, or abide by thy crib? Canst thou bind the unicorn with his band in the furrow? or will he harrow the valleys after thee? (Job 39:9-10). ************************************************** ~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~ Ripcord Grandma Try to keep your soul young and quivering right up to old age, and to imagine right up to the brink of death that life is only beginning. ~ George Sand ~ When 98-year-old Hildegarde Ferrara's friend offered to pay for a skydive for Hildegarde's next birthday, she was joking. When Hildegarde answered, I'd be delighted!" she was not. The offer was right in line with Hildegarde's life of endless adventure. At the age of 93, she had her naked body slathered with mud by the Mud Men of New Guinea, and was flattered that one Mud Man offered 500 pigs-10 times the going rate-for her hand in marriage. She has dined with headhunters, slept in King Ludwig's Neuschwanstein Castle, and savored termites and eggs for breakfast. Her flare for individuality erupted in 1917 when she was suspended from an all-girls Catholic high school for posing for a photo in which she brazenly exposed her shoulders. There are only a few places on earth Hildegarde has not visited, and she advises, "Go out and see the world before it's too late." Apparently for Hildegarde, it's never too late. Hildegarde is not an exception to life, but an example of its possibilities. She has not fallen prey to the notion that age determines our abilities or activities; she chooses to live from joy, and life supports her in manifesting her dreams. There is a Hildegarde in each of us. We may not desire to see all the world, but we do yearn to be all that we can be. What have you been holding off doing because you are too old, sick, poor, inexperienced, uneducated, unqualified, tired, or unhappy? What if none of these conditions had any power to stop you from being what you want to be? What if, at this very moment, you could take action to mobilize the visions you have had on the shelf? What would you do if I dared you to put down this book right now and take a step toward one of your hidden dreams? Now is the moment you have been waiting for. Live it to the fullest. I pray to live my life in brilliant joy. Turn up my flame. I can do anything I choose. I am unlimited. I am free. |
September 9
Step by Step Today, accept that I need a higher power for a quality sobriety. To those in the program who might say a higher power is a myth or an entity that does not exist, look back on our experience as a drinking alcoholic when we conducted ourselves without regard to the needs or feelings of others, when we made decisions based only on our wants. I didn't do such a great job running my life on my own, and it was only when I sought and found a power stronger and wiser than myself that I began my journey of spiritual awakening. And the higher power that the program suggests we all need is not necessarily the God of organized religion or even a god. That higher power can be nothing more simple than a development of a moral conscience that dictates how we manage our lives and choices. Today, I ask if I need a higher power. Yes. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M. ************************************************** ~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~ SERENITY Serenity = Reality = Inner peace and strength. ~ Anonymous ~ Most of us chased an elusive thing called serenity for years. We thought our journeys outside reality brought us peace and serenity. When we returned to reality we found harshness and pain that caused us to run back to using. So it went, day after day, week after week, month after month, year after year. Run, escape, pain; run, escape, pain. Then something happened. Our addiction wouldn't let us escape any more. We no longer found what we were' seeking. We tried using more heavily. Finally, all that was left of our lives was the pain. The Fellowship shows us that reality is not a problem. Trying to escape reality is a problem. When we continued to turn our wills and lives over to a Higher Power, the serenity that results creates a reality of inner peace and strength. I trust and believe that the changes I am going through in my recovery are necessary and good for me. ************************************************** ~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~ Anyone who keeps the ability to see beauty never grows old. ~ Franz Kafka ~ We ask ourselves, what really counts when everything else is stripped away? What do we still value? Beauty is one of those values for many of us. It might be the beauty of the outdoors, solitude in the wilderness, a symphony, a special painting, or the athletic grace of a pitcher as he hurls the baseball across home plate. Something stirs within us when we see beauty. Many would call that a spiritual experience because it seems to touch the soul of our being. We can feel vulnerable when we have such experiences, and some of us have learned to rim roughshod over those moments. We smother that part of our soul so that we don’t have to feel our manhood threatened. Now we are learning new lessons. We are growing into stronger, more open, and more spiritual men. Beauty, wherever we see it, is part of our spiritual life. Today I am open to the stirring in my soul when I see beauty. ************************************************** ~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~ To change a behavior, we must become willing to experience a certain degree of discomfort. ~ Marie Lindquist ~ Many of us believe that all our problems are someone else’s fault. If others were more under-standing, less critical, easier to love, we’d be happier, we think. But that’s not true, and we’re lucky it’s not. If our happiness were tied to others’ whims, we’d be happy far less often. To have more happiness and security in our lives, we may have to change how we act. That’s not always easy. Old behaviors are like old shoes: comfortable; they fit. But when happiness eludes us too often, we must look to ourselves for the remedy. The changes we may need to make won’t be comfortable at first; they may pinch the ego like a tight shoe pinches the toes. But relying on our Higher Power to keep us willing to change makes the transition possible. What once pinched will feel comfortable in time. Let’s trust. Today I’ll release my impatience and keep my mind on the Serenity Prayer. My happiness is up to me. ************************************************** ~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~ I want to settle down I am sad and anxious and angry about this emotional illness I've got. It's hard to think straight. I feel confused. I feel like I'm floundering. Yet those who support me don't seem worried. What I am picking up is that these problems are not unusual in dual recovery. I've started a new medication and I gather that in a couple of weeks, as it takes effect, I'll be able to settle down, not think so hard or worry so much. I wish things were better right now, but it seems I need to cope a while longer. With the help of my higher power, I will manage. Today I will take two walks and call two friends on the phone. ************************************************* ~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~ To be everywhere is to be nowhere. ~ Og Mandino ~ Sobriety has taught us the value of a sense of purpose, a center to target our energies. Too often, we tried to be all things to all people, then ran in too many directions at one time. The typical result was frustration and poor accomplishments. This left us with low self-esteem and even less willingness to pursue healthy goals. We can apply the principles we’ve learned in Twelve Step recovery to any area of our lives and steer a more direct, spiritually sound course. We can focus on doing “first things first,” and taking small steps toward what we want. It is far more dignified and joyous to arrive somewhere, tasks fulfilled, than to dart about and achieve nothing. We needn’t change everything at once. We can repair our bodies with a modest exercise program, get a little more rest, and add a few healthy foods to our diet. To activate our minds we can take a single class or pursue a lost hobby. And to enrich our spiritual lives, we can take a few minutes each day to pray and meditate. By taking small, humble steps, we stay within our abilities and focus on the true direction we need in our new sober life. Today let me concentrate on each small step 1 take toward my goals. ************************************************** ~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~ My evil genius Procrastination has whispered me to tarry ’til a more convenient season. ~ Mary Todd Lincoln ~ While it may seem that as you grow older time moves faster, that is just a fallacy. Each person has the same twenty-four hours in a day. But how you make use of each day reflects whether you are a can-do person or a someday person. If you are a can-do person, you make full use of your time. You know what you need to do and set about doing it. At the end of the day you likely experience a sense of accomplishment. But if you are a someday person—who prefers to get things done “someday”—at the end of the day you may feel that you have done very little. While you may have been a great someday person when you were using, recovery and procrastination are not good partners. Consider someday as today. Think about something you have been putting off for a while—in recovery or in your personal or professional life—and break it down into small steps. You may feel uncomfortable about something you need to do, but then do it. Ask for help on tasks you find daunting or confusing rather than put them off. Then, at the end of the day, celebrate all that you have accomplished. Someday has arrived! Today I will act rather than procrastinate. ************************************************** ~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~ It would all be so beautiful if people were just kind . . . what is more wise than to be kind? And what is more kind than to understand? ~ Thomas Tryon ~ Sometimes we may think life is pretty unkind. Such a feeling could have started years ago when we were brought up in an alcoholic home. That feeling might have continued as we agonized through our addictions. Now we may even be able to make mental lists of those unkind things in our lives: family, loved ones, bosses, major disappointments, disease. “Life has dealt me a terrible blow!" we may moan. But kindness can start with us! How many times today could we have smiled instead of frowned? Couldn't we have let someone ahead of us in traffic instead of barreling on by? Perhaps we could have picked up the telephone and spoken a few kind words to a friend or family member. We can't change the unkindness of today. But we can make changes in how we behave tomorrow. Is there someone who needs my kindness and understanding? How can I show this kindness? ************************************************** ~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~ Letting go of pain When we focus on positive thoughts, resentment and fear can hardly touch us. Positive thoughts protect us and lead us forward. When our minds are full of negative thoughts, we suffer; negative thoughts make us vulnerable and hold us back. Do we really want to suffer? Can I practice letting go of pain? Higher Power, help me believe that letting go of pain really does bring relief. Today I will practice letting go of pain by God help me to stay clean and sober today! ************************************************** ~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~ A good garden may have some weeds. ~ THOMAS FULLER ~ Newcomer I've done a few things I'm not proud of, but isn't that part of being human? Other people aren't perfect, either. Sponsor Looking honestly and unflinchingly at our behavior, while at the same time having compassion for ourselves, is a powerful combination. Steps Four through Nine offer us a simple process for clearing up the wreckage of the past so that we can live without the burden of regret. In recovery, we have the opportunity to change for the better, not to demand perfection of ourselves or others. My perfectionism sometimes makes me forget that I’m engaged in a process of change over time. It also lets me exaggerate both how "good" and "bad" I am. If I’m not “the greatest" in some situation, I decide, in my arrogance, that I must be "the worst." What a strange way of giving myself importance! One of the program sayings reminds me not to compare my insides with other people's outsides. I have my own unique gifts; accepting and nurturing these gifts brings me joy and allows me to contribute to the human community. We're capable of feeling love and compassion for others who are far from perfect. In recovery, we can learn to extend that love and compassion to ourselves. For today, I delete "perfect" from my vocabulary and practice using the word "better." ************************************************** ~ THE EYE OPENER ~ There can be no improvement in the world without the improvement of the people who constitute it. There can be no improvement in people unless it is in improved actions motivated by improved thinking and a higher morality code. Aside from the immediate benefits described by the alcoholics and their families from the AA program, it has done much to raise the character of a large segment of society. ************************************************** ~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~ A Summer Prayer Long warm days . . . The pace of life slows . . . A time of picnics, and rest in the shade . . . A time to celebrate the Spirit of Nature. Father of Light, help me rest awhile in the cooling shade of Your presence. Slow down my restless heart and anxious mind and fill me with gentle compassion for all Your people. As the Program teaches me, this I pray, to "lit ourselves to be of maximum service to God and the people about us." ~ Author unknown ~ ************************************************* ~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~ KEY WORDS IN THE BIBLE FEAR The Bible says that the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, and the beginning of knowledge. This has misled many people, because the truth is that fear is entirely evil and is indeed the only enemy we have. You can heal any condition if you can get rid of the fear attaching to it. Trouble or sickness is nothing but subconscious fear outpictured in our surroundings. It is true at all times that "we have nothing to fear but fear." How then do we account for the texts quoted? The answer is that in the Bible the fear of God means reverence for God, nor fear in the usual sense of the word. Reverence for God is the beginning of wisdom. How do we show reverence for God? By seeing God everywhere, refusing to recognize anything unlike Him, and by living the Christ life. Confidence is worship. You worship whatever you trust. Are you trusting more in fear or in God? What are you worshiping? That is the test. Acquaint now thyself with him, and be at peace (Job 22:21). ************************************************** ~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~ Again! When your heart is in your dreams, no request is too extreme. ~ from the song, "When You Wish Upon a Star," by Ned Washington ~ The film Wild Hearts Can't Be Broken is based upon the true story of Sonora Webster, a girl whose deepest dream was to ride the diving horse in the famous act on the boardwalk in Atlantic City. Sonora found the man who trained the horses for the act, and in spite of rejection after rejection, she convinced him to teach her to mount a running horse. In her first attempt, Sonora fell flat on her face, leaving the trainer laughing. "Again!" Sonora shouted, and again she fell, hurting herself. "Again!" she repeated, over and over, until after many painful falls, this courageous girl mastered the mount and eventually went on to become a very famous diver. Sonora lost her eyesight later in her career, and she continued to dive blind. It is said that "the only time we fail is the last time we try." Errors or setbacks are nothing to be ashamed of. Keep trying, and eventually mastery will be yours. Give me the strength not to give up. Help me walk past discouragement. I will live in You as You live in me. I can do all things through God who strengthens me. |
September 10
Step by Step Today, if life in sobriety jolts me with a reality that in the end is truly hopeless, I will not yield to hopelessness and instead will reach for the hope - and the first word in hopelessness is hope. If the program has impressed anything on me, it is that hope exists in all things and that hopelessness is empowered only if I bow to it. In hope, there is faith and promise that the hopeless will be overcome by hope; in hopelessness, there is loss of faith and inviting all those lethal feelings like fear, dread, self-pity and selfishness that, together, spell a slip or relapse. And either can send me back to that dark pit from which the program guided me. In hopelessness, the power of hope can and will take me from that dark place - as long as I keep the steps close to heart. Nothing, including the despair that life in sobriety will sometimes present, justifies my giving up all I have gained through in AA. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M. ************************************************* ~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~ OPINIONS Look for similarities rather than differences. ~ Anonymous ~ By relating our experiences rather than our opinions, we allow the listener to form their own ideas, rather than be placed in a position of having either to agree or disagree with us. For instance, if we express an opinion that "they should be honest," the listener may be out off. However, if we tell an experience similar to their problem where honesty worked best for us, we aren't obligating the listener to solve their difficulty the same way. They're not forced into accepting or rejecting an opinion. They're still free to choose to solve their problem whatever way they see fit, and to profit from whatever experience results. Opinions force me to take sides and "should" on myself and others. By sharing experiences instead of opinions, I am free to grow and to allow others to grow. ************************************************** ~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~ There are no secrets to success. It is the result of preparation> hard work, learning from failure. ~ Colin Powell ~ Preparation consists of becoming entirely ready. On this path, where we have faced the ultimate truth of powerlessness, we accept the deep wisdom of adulthood: some things cannot be changed by the force of our will. So our work is to make ourselves ready for change to come to us. We work on our willfulness, our moral character, our honesty, and our openness to the spiritual presence. Readiness means that when opportunities for change appear, we accept them. It means that change comes as a gift, not of our own invention. As our relationship with ourself grows, our relationships with others improve. As our relationship with our Higher Power grows, the cravings that we could not subdue by force of will are simply and quietly lifted. It is a spiritual paradox: this is not a passive path we are walking; it requires hard work. And yet the success we find is a gift that comes to us and we can only accept it. Today I will continue to work, making myself ever more ready to receive the gifts of the spirit. ************************************************** ~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~ I believe we all have a purpose in this life, and each day is a step in the journey toward achieving that purpose. ~ Kathy McGraw ~ It is not always easy to remember that each of us has a unique purpose, one that is unfolding every moment of our lives. Many of our days seem lacking in excitement, devoid of momentous decisions or undertakings. Periods of our lives may seem to have evaporated: for example, we may recall nothing of our elementary school years or of parts of an earlier marriage or a painful relationship. Trusting that our lives have purpose changes us. As our understanding deepens, we feel empowered and far more conscious of the opportunities our Higher Power offers us every day. We begin to see that every experience is purposeful. We are here by assignment. Our homework is to learn and change, if necessary. We may never fully know our purpose, but with God’s help we will trust how our lives are unfolding. I may not understand all that is happening in my life at the present, but if I trust that my Higher Power is helping me to fulfill my purpose, I can accept the experience. ************************************************** ~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~ I am beginning to lighten up Before I got help for my addiction and depression, I was typically serious and sad. I spent little time with other people and spoke little. Laughing didn't feel natural; eventually my smile went away. Even in recovery it's still hard to come out of my shell, but the truth is, I am worn out from all this gravity and intensity. It's a good thing, too. I believe I'm finally gaining some perspective—maybe even a sense of humor. Perhaps I'm getting ready to let go of some pain. I hope so. It would be a welcome relief. I will rent an old favorite comedy movie and just see how hard I have to work not to laugh at least once. ************************************************* ~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~ Do not pray for easy lives. Pray to be stronger men! ~ Phillips Brooks ~ Prayer is something that often does not come easy to us. We usually start out praying for what we want. Gradually, though, our recovery program teaches us to pray for knowledge and understanding—knowledge of what God wants for us today. This helps bring our lives in tune with our surroundings, and helps us let go of the need to control others and the events around us. It offers us the chance to use our energy for living in the moment, rather than worrying about outcomes. And it brings peace to our hearts to have faith that God will take care of outcomes. When we begin to pray for knowledge of God’s will, we free ourselves. We give up the need to be “the boss” on everything, the need to be in control, the need to be responsible for everything. Prayer is our one-way ticket to peace and serenity. Today let me accept gratefully what is God’s will. ************************************************** ~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~ There are people who live lives little different than the beasts, and I don’t mean that badly. I mean that they accept whatever happens day to day without struggle or question or regret. ~ Celeste De Blasis ~ Learning to live with what you were born with—from your appearance and innate talents to your failures and shortcomings—is a process of acceptance. Making an honest assessment of who you are—one that is focused on you and not based on comparisons to others—requires acceptance. No one is perfect. But sometimes you can feel disappointed when you know that you have not lived up to the expectations others have of you, or when you recognize how you have fallen short of achieving your goals. You may doubt you can ever become a better person. Acceptance can be strengthened and developed by making good use of the tools available to you each day in the program—the Serenity Prayer, the Twelve Steps, belief in a power greater than yourself, and fellowship. The program teaches acceptance, not perfection. Each day presents you with an opportunity to accept all of your qualities—both the good and the not-so-good—so you can gain greater knowledge about yourself. You can then utilize this knowledge to change those things that you can. Working the program will help me to develop greater acceptance of myself. ************************************************** ~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~ Nowadays some people expect the door of opportunity to be opened with an electric eye. ~ Anonymous ~ "Great Expectations" may be an appropriate title for certain scenes in our lives. If we act a certain way, do certain things, or think in a certain way, we may believe these actions will have an expected reaction. But we'll have a rude awakening when we find this isn’t necessarily so. It's as if we stepped on the automatic doormat to a grocery store when the mat wasn't operating. We'll crash into the door if we expect it to open every time. Similarly, we can't have expectations about the people in our lives or we'll crash into defeat, hurt, and rejection. It's okay to behave toward others in a loving and kind manner. In return, others may become more kind and loving toward us. This treatment won't come to us because of our expectations, but because others decide to treat us in this way. If we change our expectations, we may receive many pleasant surprises. Do I expect people to treat me in a way they don't want to? Tonight I can let go of my expectations. What's most important in my behavior. ************************************************** ~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~ Comparing We are proud of the fact that if someone wants to join the program, sex, age, race, status, sexual orientation, or religious preferences do not matter. Yet we may still find ourselves judging the kind or severity of another’s addiction. How can we possibly judge another’s pain? Or problems? Or recovery needs? And why bother? Don’t we have enough pain and problems of our own? Have I stopped judging others? Higher Power, help me to see that comparing separates me from myself and others. I will practice accepting all my fellow travelers in recovery today by God help me to stay clean and sober today! ************************************************** ~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~ First things first. ~ PROGRAM SLOGAN ~ Newcomer I have such a full life now. I don't even mind having to deal with problems that are coming up with other people—they make me feel alive. But still, I'm looking forward to not having to go to so many meetings. Sponsor It's good to hear how rich and diverse your experiences have become, and to see that there are people and activities that mean so much to you. We're living our lives today; that's the point of recovery. But as we become more engaged with life, we may forget the hold that our addictive craving formerly had over us, how we were driven to do whatever it asked of us. By continuing to come to meetings, we stay conscious of our powerlessness over addiction. I need to remember what brought me here. If I become casual about my recovery, I may convince myself that I can try “just a little" of my drug of choice. If I do that, then, inevitably, my moderation will give way to active addiction. We're still powerless over this disease; that doesn't change. By putting recovery first, we can continue enjoying the rich life we have today. What kept me sober in the early days of my recovery are the same things that keep me sober today. ************************************************** ~ THE EYE OPENER ~ Charity would be absolute foolishness if this life was the beginning and ending of all things. If there were no closer relationship between men than between animals, then we would be animals. We know, however, that a mystical bond does unite mankind, and it is best exemplified in the practice of charity. As it lifts man above the level of animals, it also lifts man closer to the angels. ************************************************** ~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~ To Be Useful Thank You, God, for I am glad to be useful, to have a reason for living, to have a purpose in life. I want to lose my life in this wonderful Fellowship and so find it again. I need the Twelve Step Principles for the development of the buried life within me, the good life I misplaced before the Program. Thank You, God, for this recovery life within me is growing slowly but surely, with setbacks and mistakes, but still developing. I cannot yet know what it will be, but I know it will be good. That's all I want to know. It will be good. ************************************************* ~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~ KEY WORDS IN THE BIBLE SALVATION The word salvation appears more than 120 times in the Bible. It was in constant use among religious people of past generations, and while it is not so often heard today, the fact remains that it is one of the most important words in the Bible and among the least well understood. The word salvation in the Bible means perfect health, harmony, and freedom. These things are the will of God for man—for you personally; and the Bible was written to tell us how to attain to them. We gain salvation by seeking God and letting Him work through us. The Lord is my light and my salvation (Psalm 27:1). He only is my rock and my salvation (Psalm 62:2). He hath raised up a horn of salvation for us . . . (Luke 1:69). And all flesh shall see the salvation of God (Luke 3:6). Such texts as these are typical of the Bible promises concerning salvation. Salvation comes to a few people gently and easily, but the majority have to work out their salvation with a certain amount of "fear and trembling" for the time being. The actual way in which it comes is not really important, for come it will—when we seek it with our whole heart. ************************************************** ~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~ Turn on Everything You can have it all. ~ Arnold Patent ~ After I built a sauna at my home, I began to have electrical outages. I discovered that when the sauna was on at the same time as the hot tub, the house's main breaker would trip off. I concluded that the power required by the sauna and spa was too much for the house's electrical capacity, so I made the rule that the sauna and hot tub could not be used at the same time. When my electrician friend Gil came by, I told him about the problem, and he instructed me, “Turn on everything in the house." "Won't that blow the circuit?" I asked him. "There's no way it should. Your electrical capacity is great enough to handle everything you have and more." I went around the property and turned on the sauna, spa, oven, washer, dryer, and other major appliances (inwardly praying that Gil knew what he was doing). As everything was humming along, Gil opened up the electrical box and called, “Aha! I think I see your problem." He called me over and showed me, "This screw is loose. When you have a loose screw, the circuit heats up and trips the breaker." He tightened the screw and told me, “This should solve the problem. Now you can run anything you want at any time.” I couldn't have asked for a better lesson on abundance. I had been thinking in terms of a limited universe: "There’s just so much available, so I better start choosing between things that I want because there’s not enough to go around." Gil, on the other hand, held a huge consciousness that there's enough supply for everything I needed. I was thinking small, and he was thinking big. If you feel you must compromise what you want or need because there's not enough to go around, reconsider your belief system. The circuit may be much bigger than you thought, and your problem might not be that your supply is limited, but that one little screw is loose. Don't curse the source; tighten the screw. Help me to remember that t live in a universe of abundant supply. I can have everything I need to be happy. |
September 11
Step by Step "We must learn to walk before we can run. That's why we have these slogans. I use that 'Easy Does It' every day, to slow me down a little. I have to watch myself all the time. So I don't just take the inventory at night - I take it continually throughout the day. Before I step out and do anything, I stop and check it over first, and then let my conscience be my guide. 'For me, AA has become a way of life." - Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, "They Lost Nearly All," Ch 8 ("Desperation Drinking"), p 516. Today, talking the talk isn't enough, nor is walking the walk. Both have to be in my soul, spirit, character and mind if I have any chance of a meaningful, serene, peaceful and honest recovery. Nor is the quality of my recovery truly measured when I am dry and life is generally good. It is measured when life situations arise that require practical but diligent application of the steps. Even if I emerge from those situations sober but my reaction and response to those situations do not meet the program's standards, I need another 10th Step. Today, I may talk the talk and walk the walk, but if AA has not become a way of life in all I say, do and feel, I start working again on talking the talk, walking the walk and feeling the feeling. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M. ************************************************** ~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~ REFLECTION Those who ask receive. Those who seek will find. And to those who knock, the door will be opened. ~ Matthew ~ Prayer is seeking answers and direction in life. Meditation is listening for answers from a Higher Power and developing the faith within us to accept those answers. Reflection is the study of ways to change the answers we get from prayer and meditation into action. Reflection is the study of the meaning and uses of the Twelve Steps. It is not snap judgment. It requires consideration of the pros and cons of our possible choices and determination of what directions we will take to give us the best results. The progress of spirituality from prayer to meditation to reflection is active, not passive. It is taking part in the joy of putting the results of prayer and meditation into action. I have learned through times of quiet reflection to work into my life the answers my Higher Power has given me as a result of my prayer and meditation. ************************************************** ~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~ I don’t have to be what you want me to be. ~ Muhammad Ali ~ We only truly become ourselves from the inside out. During our active addiction many of us tried so hard to please others that we lost any sense of who we were, or we created an external image that would get others to like us. Some of us lost ourselves in codependently taking care of others. So much focus on others never led us to know ourselves or truly develop our interior private self. This program, with its twelve suggested Steps, is really a road map for the formation of a true self. At the beginning we may feel empty inside, as if hardly any self exists. But at least some small, undeveloped self is always there, and it will grow. By taking inventory of ourselves, by becoming accountable for our actions, and by developing our spirituality, we become truly whole. Today I will be the person I know from inside myself and not try to create an image to please others. ************************************************** ~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~ Instead of worrying about being different from others, I will love myself for being unique. ~ Kelley Vickstrom ~ Where did we learn to compare ourselves with other women? Why is the process so seductive? We seldom measure up, in our eyes. Every woman we see, at first glance, seems smarter or wittier, and certainly more attractive. Self-doubt sets in again and again. Those few times we “win” the comparison test, we feel smug, but the victory is short-lived because another woman soon enters our space. Meditating often about the gift of uniqueness that our birth guaranteed will bring us closer to understanding that gift. Why would God have made us all unique unless we were here to handle a very special assignment? At first this may not seem realistic. But think for a moment of the women you know in recovery. Are they setting identical goals for their lives? Do they think and act exactly alike? Our lives may be complementary and we may be walking similar paths, but our assignments are unique. God needs each of us for the divine picture to be whole. I am who I need to be to fulfill my role in this divine world. What I have to offer is important. ************************************************** ~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~ I am coming out of hiding I used to believe that given a chance, most people would only hurt me or use me. I could not trust them. I could not ask anything of them. So I kept to myself. Being alone was one way I could feel safe. But these days I am learning that being alone and afraid and untrusting won't help me recover from my dual disorder. What does help, among other things, is when my counselor talks to me, asks me how I feel, listens to me, treats me with gentleness and respect. He helps me feel good about myself and shows me that people are not all bad. As I begin to find safe people and trust again, I gain faith that I will recover. Today I will take a risk and ask a member of my support group if I can call him when I need support. ************************************************* ~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~ Keep coming back. It works. ~ Program Saying ~ These words mean a lot to us. They remind us that our recovery program really does work. When we feel doubt, it helps to think back to where we were before recovery. Our drinking, drugging, gambling, compulsive eating, or starving was out of control. The pain we felt was indescribable, although we denied it at the time. Now, when someone says, “Keep coming back, it works,” the words remind us why we are coming back — to get the love, understanding, and support that we need to keep our lives sane and spiritually sound. It isn’t easy. We often lose track of where we are. We are tempted to go back to the old ways. But we can’t. We’ve had a taste of real spirituality, and we yearn for more. Knowing the program works keeps us coming back for the love and support we need to recover one day at a time. Today help me remember that my life is so much better than when I was using. Thank You for the gift of recovery and my new life. ************************************************** ~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~ Do what you can, with what you have, where you are. ~ Theodore Roosevelt ~ A Chinese parable tells of a humble man who daily carried water from a stream to his home. He used two pots—one balanced on each end of a pole—to carry the water. One pot was perfect; the other had a crack in it. The perfect pot was proud of its ability. But the cracked pot was ashamed of its flaw. One day the cracked pot spoke as the man was filling it. “Why haven’t you thrown me away?” it asked. The man silently placed the cracked pot on his pole and slowly began the walk back to his home. Finally, he spoke, “Little cracked pot, please look along your side of the path. What do you see?” “Flowers,” the cracked pot answered. If “That is correct,” said the man. “Each spring I plant flower seeds on your side of the path. Every day when we walk back to my home, your leak helps to water the seeds. Now there are flowers, which I can take home and put on my table. Without you being the way you are, there would not be beauty that I can enjoy on my journey home.” Today I will see value and beauty in all that I am and all that I do. ************************************************** ~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~ Our belief at the beginning of a doubtful undertaking is the one thing that insures the successful outcome of our venture. ~ William James ~ How often have we heard ourselves say, “Well, I'll try, but I probably won't do it right." We're setting ourselves up for defeat, right from the start. With that much negative energy, certainly our ventures will turn out just the way we predicted. If pessimists had always been right, we would be living differently. We might still believe the world is flat, because Columbus wouldn't have taken his voyage. We might still be reading by candlelight, because Edison wouldn't have invented the light bulb. It would take us days to cross the country, because the Wright brothers would have believed only birds can fly. Some things we do will succeed, and some will fail. But in order to make successes happen, we need to believe they can occur. And we also need to believe in ourselves, believe that we can make things happen. Since we've lived for so long without faith in ourselves, what will it hurt to give it a try? Higher Power, help me fill my mind tonight with thoughts of success and a belief in myself. ************************************************** ~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~ Making mistakes As addicts we made a lot of mistakes; as addicts, we blanketed those mistakes in denial. Clean and sober, denial is no longer an option. Yet we still make plenty of mistakes. But mistakes are okay, because we’re learning that every situation, good or bad, is an opportunity for growth. And with the right attitude, we can make the most of it. Can I let go of my mistakes enough to learn from them? Higher Power, help me to forgive my mistakes and to accept them as a useful way to learn. Today I will practice what I learned from my most recent mistake by God help me to stay clean and sober today! ************************************************** ~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~ I accept reality and dare not question it. ~ WALT WHITMAN ~ Newcomer I keep hearing that acceptance is the key to being happy. I think I'm still a long way from accepting myself just the way I am. Sponsor In my own early recovery I was able to admit pretty quickly that I was powerless over my addiction; accepting that fact was a different story, however. For people like us, acceptance isn't likely to come overnight. Even when we've begun to get a feel for it, we need to maintain it a day at a time. Accepting that we are alcoholics, addicts, compulsive overeaters, debtors, gamblers—whatever our addictions or compulsions—involves more than simply becoming aware that a particular craving has been in charge of our lives. It means unreservedly accepting that we have a disease for which there is treatment and reprieve, but no cure. Our lives themselves, and our potential for serenity and freedom, depend on this acceptance. Acceptance means that when I come home from work feeling tired and thinking I'd like to skip my usual meeting and watch TV instead, I eat my supper and head for the meeting. It means I don't take time off from recovery for good behavior. It means keeping recovery at the top of my list of priorities, continuing to make daily use of the tools and suggestions that have brought relief and serenity in the past. Today, I accept my addiction as a basic reality. ************************************************** ~ THE EYE OPENER ~ We are attempting to build a new house on the site of the old wrecked one. The type of house we build will be determined by the plans, and specifications we select. Exactly the same materials can be used to build either a palace or a hovel; the difference will be chiefly one of design. The palace requires more material and a great deal more labor, however. In your rebuilding be sure that the basement is DRY; the corners SOUARE: the walls UPRIGHT and TRUE, and your house will stand, even after you, the builder, are dead and gone. ************************************************** ~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~ Avoiding Gossip God of Reason, help me be faithful to placing principles before personalities Before I gossip or find fault with others, help me remember to ask myself' Is it true? Is it kind? Is it useful? If I can't answer yes to these questions, I will not gossip. Help me talk about principles, not personalities This I pray. ************************************************* ~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~ KEY WORDS IN THE BIBLE WICKED The word wicked occurs more than three hundred times in the Bible and is one of the most important terms to be found therein. In the Bible the word wicked really means "bewitched" or "under a spell." The Law of Being is perfect harmony, and that truth never changes, but man uses his free will to think wrongly, and thus he builds up false conditions around him, and then believes them to be real. They look real, and so he forgets that it was he himself who made them, and thus he bewitches himself, or throws himself under a kind of spell; and of course as long as he remains bewitched he has to suffer the consequences. Nevertheless, it is only illusion, or a spell, and it can be broken by turning to God. The only way to break such a spell is to think of God. O foolish Galatians, who hath bewitched you . . . ? (Galatians 3:1), said Paul, when he heard that some of his students had begun to believe evil in this way. The wicked flee when no man pursueth (Proverbs 28:1). Let us awaken from the spell under which the whole race lives, and know instead that God is all Power, infinite Intelligence, and boundless love. Let the wicked forsake his way, and the unrighteous man his thoughts: and let him return unto the Lord, and he will have mercy upon him . . . (Isaiah 55:7). ************************************************** ~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~ The Choice for Happiness Everyone is about as happy as they make up their mind to be. ~ Abraham Lincoln ~ Connie's mother-in-law was a very unhappy person. Among her many complaints, she griped that she hadn't been on a vacation in years. So Connie and her husband decided to give Mrs. Fraser a luxurious Caribbean cruise. "Perhaps this will give her a lift and let her know that she is loved!" the couple hoped. After Mrs. Fraser received the notice of the gift in the mail, the couple was surprised to receive a phone call from her turning down their offer. The present did not include a flight to Miami, where the cruise originated, and Mrs. Fraser did not want to have to pay the fare from South Carolina. If someone is intent on being unhappy, you cannot make them happy. A negative mind will seize on any excuse to find fault; it will find the 1/50th of the glass that is empty, overlooking the other 49 parts. It is not within your power to choose happiness for another person, nor is it your right or purpose. If you could, you would violate their free will; perhaps they chose this situation to help them reconsider how they are living, and ultimately choose a more rewarding path. You cannot afford to make your happiness dependent on another's. You can love, bless, nurture, suggest, support, give, and honor, but in the long run the only way the other person will be happy is if they choose to do so. If you offer love or gifts to someone, and they are not received in the spirit of love, do not take it personally. The rejection is a statement of the person's pain, not your inadequacy. If you have tried for a long time to make certain people happy and have not succeeded, then just give love. Assume that they are where they need to be for a reason, and someday they will make another choice. In the meantime, be happy yourself. I place my loved ones in Your care. I pray for their happiness, and I release them to choose. I give happiness by nurturing peace within my own heart. |
September 12
Step by Step Today, I will not feed anger to poison my actions and words for which, inevitably, I will have to answer. If I forget I have only today and reach back into yesterday and resurrect some anger or resentment, justified or not, I will Let Go and Let God because I don't WANT to add any excess baggage and I DON'T want to give power to an emotion that might derail me if I don't control IT. If I get angry today, I will walk away from the source until I can think with reason and logic, without emotion. And if I get the chance to talk to a person who has made me angry, I will confine my words to how I feel instead of, "YOU made me feel ...," "YOU shouldn't have ..." and "YOU had no right ..." In that context, I am risking taking another person's Fourth, and the job as moral gatekeeper has been taken by a power greater and stronger than myself. As a drinking alcoholic, I had no control and let my anger gain the upper hand; today, as a recovering alcoholic, I have the choice to NOT allow anger to dictate my words and thought. Today, I choose to weaken any potentially lethal emotion by NOT feeding it. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M. ************************************************** ~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~ ANGER Anger is but one letter away from danger. ~ Anonymous ~ Many of us once nursed long-standing resentments. Every time we thought about them, we got angry. What makes anger so dangerous is that it burns without consuming. It feeds on itself until it overwhelms all other emotions. Anger is poison. When anger takes over, it acts with uncontrollable rage. We say things, feel things, and do things way out of line. Anger is emotional drunkenness. It leads to resentments, and it is a dangerous setup for a relapse. Because we are in recovery doesn’t mean we won't get angry, but the Steps give us a process of working through anger. We learn that what usually fuels anger is fear and guilt. When we deal with fear and guilt, we can dissolve anger. The remedy for fear is faith, for faith means courage. When I replace my anger with faith, the fear and guilt that causes the anger is worked through, and the anger is reduced. ************************************************** ~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~ Abuse is something that is done to us. It is not who we are. ~ Euan Bear and Peter Dimock ~ Everyone has some experience with being treated badly. Sometimes that experience leaves us with scars that affect us for years. Abuse is the feeling of being overwhelmed by someone’s power to hurt us or use us. It steals our basic human dignity. Afterward we feel belittled, as if something basic about us is missing or blemished. Recovery means we restore our feeling of personal dignity. To begin that part of our recovery, we first name the abuse. Someone beat us up, someone called us names, or someone used our body for his or her own pleasures. Abuse may even come from someone we love and trust. After we name the abuse, we tell a trusted friend what happened. In this process we start the work of placing those experiences outside of ourselves instead of holding them deep inside where they confuse us. Ultimately, our recovery frees us. Today I understand that even though bad things happened to me, I am basically good, just like everyone else. ************************************************** ~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~ If we are to realize a peaceful, spiritual awareness, there are mental practices we must engage in. ~ Margaret R. Stortz ~ To some people, having a meaningful life means being busy all the time. While it’s true that we need activities that get us outside of ourselves, we can easily become too busy. While using alcohol and other drugs, many of us left too many projects unfinished. Perhaps we drifted, making resolutions to change, to work, to accomplish a goal, but never succeeding. It’s not surprising that we feel we must make up for lost time now. The problem with this approach is that we need to be still, with a quiet mind, to know the peace of a truly meaningful life. We have to make a habit of becoming quiet. We need to practice freeing our minds of the thoughts that compete for our attention. In silence will come our knowledge of God. Our serenity and security reside in our quiet moments. I can still my mind and know God’s presence and will for me today. ************************************************** ~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~ I am learning to forgive My parents and I have not been friends for years. I couldn’t tell them when I got sick; one of them is a practicing alcoholic. They would not have believed, or accepted, my addiction—let alone my emotional illness. Still I missed them—I needed them—when I hit bottom. In recovery however, I feel differently about them. I see them now as people who have made mistakes, who have let me down, but who did for me what they could. Somehow I have renewed faith that each in their own way cares about me, and I can tell that I still care about them too. When I phoned recently, it felt good just to hear their voices. I will write out an affirmation that says, “I can forgive. I can let go." ************************************************* ~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~ Order is a lovely thing; On disarray it lays its wing, Teaching simplicity to sing. ~ Anna Hempstead Branch ~ There is a spiritual quality about order. Even scientists who are atheists have come to believe in God when they study the order in nature and the universe. Is there any greater spiritual experience than watching a beautiful sunset, or seeing the infinite number of stars in the sky at night? Order in our lives helps us relax and think and plan creatively. We tend to be more serene and hopeful when there is order, rather than when there is chaos. And when we recognize our place in the order of nature and the world, we begin to have a sense of belonging to something greater than ourselves. We know, now, we are children of God, with a special place in the world. Today I thank you for the order You have created in my life. ************************************************** ~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~ Many people are so concerned with adding days to their life that they forget to add life to their days. ~ Harriet Meyerson ~ How can you live in the moment when life is full of dis-tractions or when your thoughts are constantly tumbling you forward into the future or causing you to slip back-ward into the past? Whether your thoughts move you forward or backward in time, such movement wastes the precious moments in the present you have been given and can influence the way you feel. Even though you may not have awakened feeling sad, thinking about the past may cast a pall over how you feel during the day. Or you may feel anxiety or dread about things that have yet to happen. Living in the moment is not easy to do. Living in the moment means taking charge of your thoughts so you control them, rather than let them dictate what you think about and how you feel. There are many techniques you can use to live more in the moment—from reminding yourself of what you are doing at any given time to meditating or enjoying a hobby. Practice living more fully in the moment, and you will be more capable of immersing yourself in and appreciating the day. Today I will not let thoughts of the past or future intrude upon my ability to live in the moment. ************************************************** ~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~ Love does not consist of gazing at each other but in looking together, in the same direction. ~ Antoine de Saint-Exupery ~ When we're addicted to a person all we can see is that person. Time moves slowly when we're apart, but passes quickly when we're together. We may feel panicky during even the most minor of separations and believe that we are fused into one being. Loving relationships are not made by taking prisoners. Love is neither hypnotism nor possessiveness. Love is simply a sharing between two people. Many times this sharing involves movement in the same direction toward a mutual goal. Even though we're sharing the same path, we're not sharing the same body and mind. A successful relationship is one in which we feel it would be okay even if we weren't with the other person. To be able to stand alone as firmly as when we're with another means we've found some sense of self-esteem and self-respect. We can love another and, at the same time, love ourselves. Is my loving relationship healthy? Tonight I can work on my self-esteem and self-respect and trust I am a good person with or without a partner. ************************************************** ~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~ Avoiding intellectual pride Intellectual pride can be a great downfall for those of us with addiction. We shouldn’t con ourselves into thinking that program guidelines don’t apply to “smart” people. Besides, if we’re so smart, how did we end up here in the first place? Whether we finish high school or college, whether our collar is blue or white, all aspects of this program apply to us. Until we realize that the solution to our problem is our common bond—not our training, job, or lifestyle—we will make little progress. Our problem is no respecter of persons, but our solution is valid for all. Can I keep my “smarts” from getting in my way? Higher Power, help me realize that intellectual pride can prevent me from working my program. Today I will practice humility by God help me to stay clean and sober today! ************************************************** ~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~ I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing, or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment. ~ ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS (THE AA BIG BOOK) ~ Newcomer Nothing much seems to have changed for me lately. I still have the same problems and issues I had months ago. Sponsor The Serenity Prayer asks me "to accept the things I cannot change." I used to think that meant things were never going to change—and that I'd better accept it! Now I realize not only that everything is capable of being changed, but that change is a fact of reality and I can't stop it. What the phrase "to accept the things I cannot change" means to me today is that there are many things that only my Higher Power can change. That doesn't mean things won't change, only that I can't force them to. I have the courage to do my part; I have faith that change takes place in my Higher Power's time. I can't be sure I'm going to be offered a particular job; but I can shower, dress appropriately, show up for the interview on time, and represent my capabilities with honesty and dignity. If I'm persistent in these efforts, the right job will come in time. Or perhaps I'd like my weight to change. I can't control the numbers on my scale, but if I exercise and eat moderately, over time a moderate body will show up. Our Higher Power's timetable often differs from our own; accepting that is a source of serenity. Today, I let my Higher Power work in my life. I have the courage to have faith. ************************************************** ~ THE EYE OPENER ~ If the price we Paid when we took a drink was the only price we had to pay, it would not be too expensive. It was the terrible price we had to pay after the drinks that really put the screws on us. For $3.50 most any bartender will contract to deliver you ten drinks of whiskey but the busted-up car that results can run the costs up to a first class funeral. ************************************************** ~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~ My Chosen Life Dear God, help me live the life I have chosen and allow others to do the same. It's hard to live more than one life at a time. Keep me free from trying to organize everyone's life according to my plan. Help me turn over my self-assumed responsibility for other people’s lives to You. Live and let live is the Twelve Step way of life. ************************************************* ~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~ KEY WORDS IN THE BIBLE JUDGEMENT Judgment, in the Bible, means deciding upon the truth or falsity of any thought. This process necessarily goes on in our minds all the time we are awake, and the extent to which we "judge righteous judgments" determines the character of our lives. To accept evil at its face value is to judge wrongly, and bring its natural punishment. To decline to believe in evil and to affirm the good is righteous judgment and brings the reward of happiness and harmony. Thus The Judgment is not a great trial to take place at the end of time; it is a process that goes on every day. When Jesus said, judge not, that ye be not judged (Matthew 7:1), he meant that to condemn our brother out of hand instead of seeing the Christ within him, is to put ourselves in danger because we are making a reality of those appearances in him, and whatever we make real we must demonstrate in our own lives. ************************************************** ~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~ The Diet That Always Works The one thing we can never get enough of is love. And the one thing we never give enough is love. ~ Henry Miller ~ I heard about a woman who is performing miracles with anorexic and bulimic patients. She takes emaciated 50-pound women out of the hospital and brings them to her home, where she holds them, cradles them, looks into their tired eyes, and tells them, "l love you...I want you to live...I believe in you. " She has had a remarkable success rate, far beyond any medical or psychotherapeutic modality. She has cut past all intellectual models and belief systems, and has gone to the core of our existence: the giving and receiving of love. A Course in Miracles tells us that every act we do is either an expression of love or a call for it. Love is the only diet, therapy, or activity that always works. When we cut past all our facades, many of our actions stem from our need to know we are lovable. To love ourselves and each other as we are, is to become utterly Godlike. The next time people become upset with you, give them love. And the next time you lose your peace, give yourself love. We are here to love; nothing else will satisfy us. I pray to love as You love. Show me how to live from my heart. I live to love. and I love to live. |
September 13
Step by Step "Above all, I was suffering inner pain because my performance and my accomplishments in life failed to live up to my own expectations of myself. I had to anesthetize that pain with alcohol. Of course, the more I drank, the more unrealistic my expectations became and the poorer my performance, and the gap widened. So the need to drink grew still greater." - Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, "They Lost Nearly All," Ch 13 ("AA Taught Him to Handle Sobriety"), p 557. Today, understand the reasons I concocted to drink were and are little more than excuses and, more, that maybe I should work a program that keeps me sober instead of keeping me from drinking. It's a fine line between struggling to keep from drinking and working to stay sober: by working only for the purpose not to drink, I probably am not applying the program's principles to get me sober. If so, I am not coming to terms with the "reasons" that I "had" to drink. And, by neglecting the psychological and spiritual sickness, I run the risk of losing or simply giving up the battle to keep from drinking. In the end, AA is intended to help us handle our living problems and not our drinking problem. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M. ************************************************** ~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~ PUSHING BUTTONS Our family, parents, and loved ones can "push our buttons." That's because they installed them. ~ Anonymous ~ Many of us grew up shame-based, and it has continued into our later lives. Addiction and shame go together. We were told, we could do better in school. We were told we weren't living up to our potential. We learned there was something wrong with us. We should do better. Guilt is when we make a mistake; shame is when we are a mistake. Our recovery allows us to identify and work out of our shame-based past. We can't force the people in our lives who push our buttons to change. We can change our attitudes and the way we react to button-pushers and the old unmanageable tapes in our heads. Not being perfect no longer means not being worthwhile. Today, I am learning not to let the button-pushers affect my outlook. My sponsor and fiends are always there to make sure my button-pushers have much less power over me. ************************************************** ~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~ You can learn little from victory. You can learn everything from defeat. ~ Christy Mathewson ~ We all know the face of painful defeat. We tried to win, but some of our ways led to disgrace and shame. We used unwise and self-indulgent methods to cope with life’s problems. Those defeats were devastating. But it’s not only bad choices and mistakes that create loss and heartache. Inevitably, adult life forces everyone to face powerlessness. That is a spiritual lesson that some of us accept more readily than others. Many guys don’t easily give up the heady feeling of power and the pride of doing things their own way, even when their own way brings repeated defeat. With only victories, we might remain as superficial boys for the rest of our lives. What would push us to learn? From the broken pieces of painful events we are forced to learn something new. We can no longer hold on to our voracious appetites and our stubborn willfulness. We have to finally open our minds to the wisdom of others. Through our failures we are strengthened In facing powerlessness, we truly grow from boyishness into genuine manhood Today I am grateful for all that I have learned from my defeats. ************************************************** ~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~ There comes a time in everyone’s recovery when we must begin to focus on wellness. ~ Julie B. ~ We have admitted we have a disease. We have also agreed to get help. We address our disease by doing the maintenance necessary to stay clean and sober—going to meetings, calling our sponsor, reading recovery literature, and staying away from slippery places. Cultivating wellness is the next step in our process. Being free of hangovers isn’t really well-ness, even though we feel much better. Being well means being fit, physically. That comes from eating healthy food, exercising regularly, getting enough rest, and seeking the advice of professionals if mental or physical problems arise. Before we stopped using chemicals, we couldn’t comprehend what wellness meant. Each sober day that we eat right and exercise moves us toward a more rewarding life. That’s wellness. I can stay clean and sober with a little effort. And I can be well in mind, body, and spirit with a little extra effort today. ************************************************** ~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~ I am facing my powerlessness I'm following my dual recovery plan, but for some reason, it doesn't seem to be working these days. I feel better for a while and then feel worse again (which makes me feel worse still). At times I wonder if I'll ever recover-and then I lapse into thoughts about giving up completely. On the other hand, I wonder if I am expecting too much too soon. Or maybe I am trying too hard. Perhaps I simply can't see that I am, in fact, getting better because I'm so close to it. When I think about it this way, I leave myself some room for faith. Perhaps I just need to keep working my program and in time (my higher power's time), I will settle down and find a measure of peace. I will pray for strength and call a friend or sponsor for reassurance and support. ************************************************* ~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~ Lilies that fester smell far worse than weeds. ~ William Shakespeare ~ When something or someone makes us angry and we deny or ignore it, it will become a resentment one day. Resentments hurt us because we suffer, but the person we’re angry with does not. Resentments eat away at us, they make us into angry, negative, short-tempered, or depressed people. The key to preventing resentment is to start expressing our feelings, either directly or in writing. We can also talk to a third party, someone else we feel safe with. But we must somehow express our anger so we can move past it. We do this not to change the other person, but to unload the poison of resentment from ourselves. Once we’ve acknowledged it, we often are able to forgive or forget. We no longer carry that burden. Anger does not have to bum in our hearts today. We can let go of anger, and that feels wonderful. Today help me accept my feelings, express them in a safe way, and then turn them over to my Higher Power. ************************************************** ~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~ It is easier to gaze into the sun, than into the face of the mystery of God. Such is its beauty and its radiance. ~ Hildegard of Bingen ~ When you were a child, you may have thought less about yourself and more about the wonder of the world around you, asking questions such as, “Do fish sleep at night?” As you grew older, your questioning may have been based less on the world around you and more on all of the things you were anxious to have or do: “Why can’t I have a puppy?” When you became an adult, you may have thought little about your place in the world or the value of others and asked questions such as, “Why do you always have be on my case?” When you entered the program, you may have asked, “Why do I have to go to meetings?” But as the program gradually became a new way of life for you, your questions changed: “How did I manage to stay olive using when others I know died?” Asking questions—even those that have no clear answers—helps you to look outside of yourself and to recognize that the world is vast and filled with many mysteries. Even if I do not know all of the answers, I will continue to ask questions. The more I learn about life, the more I want to learn. ************************************************** ~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~ The cure for grief is motion. ~ Elbert Hubbard ~ Anniversaries of death, separation, and loss are difficult times. We can be feeling fine one month and then suddenly feel tremendous sadness, pain, and anger during the next. A quick look at our calendars may reveal a reason for our feelings, for we may have experienced something particularly trying at that time. It's okay to relive an event and our feelings about it, as long as we don't wallow in the past or try to use the event as a reason for all our present difficulties. Grieving is a process that can proceed only when we are in motion. How do we get in motion? We can imagine we're sitting in a small room of horrible-smelling cigar smoke. We can sit there and feel uncomfortable or even nauseous, or we can leave the room. That’s how we get in motion—by simply getting up and moving. Tonight I can move out of my chair of painful memories. I can think of ways to get in motion and cure these sad feelings. Then I can relax and have a peaceful night's sleep. ************************************************** ~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~ Developing a sense of humor We may not believe this, but it helps to think that life isn’t strictly serious. There’s much humor in it and a sense of humor often eases pain. If we can laugh, chances are we can forgive both ourselves and others. It may not feel like it, but recovery isn’t strictly serious either. Getting clean and sober (and helping others do the same) is often a process full of joy. Can I find something to laugh at today? Higher Power, help me see the humor in all my seriousness, help me laugh. Today I will work on my sense of humor by God help me to stay clean and sober today! ************************************************** ~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~ I wonder if this new reality is going to destroy me. ~ BARBARA GUEST ~ Newcomer I got the promotion I've been praying for. Now I'm afraid I'm not up to doing the job well enough. What if I'm a failure at it? Sponsor First of all, congratulations! But remember, you'll never fully experience how positive this moment is if you move right into the next available negative emotion. Like you, I'm used to maintaining my daily quotient of doubt and fear. Success, however I've defined that word for myself throws me off balance. I can belittle the accomplishment itself brush it off pretend it doesn't mean much. Or I can belittle myself: "I was just lucky," or "They must have made a mistake." I can even put my recovery at risk, finding substitute addictions in an effort to numb my discomfort at having a success. Successes, like disappointments, are opportunities for surrender. I've watched you work hard for this success; you deserve it. You deserve, too, to take it in fully, to share about it, to celebrate it. It's time to take a few deep breaths and really feel this moment. Today, I celebrate a success, large or small. ************************************************** ~ THE EYE OPENER ~ In spite of evidence to the contrary, we still persist in wondering what would happen, after our several months of sobriety, if we again took a drink. We definitely know that we don't want "a" drink. We never did in our drinkingest days. We know that we have graduated from the ranks of happy drinkers. We know of no one in all our experience who has made the experiment to his or anyone else's satisfaction—yet we might be the exception. It is this type of curiosity that has killed many a cat. Don't try it. Even if you are right—you're wrong. ************************************************** ~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~ My Family Help me accept the potent emotions I may feel toward family members. Help me be grateful for the lesson they are teaching me. I accept the golden light of healing that is now shining on me and my family. I thank God that healing does not always come in a neat, tidy package. ~ From The language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie, page 117 ~ ************************************************* ~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~ KEY WORDS IN THE BIBLE REPENTANCE To repent means, really, to change one's mind concerning something. When a person realizes that a particular action, or a certain line of conduct, or perhaps the whole direction of his life, has been wrong, and honestly resolves to change his conduct, he has repented. The Bible makes true repentance an essential condition for any spiritual progress, and for the forgiveness of sin, Jesus said, Except ye repent, ye shall all likewise perish (Luke 13:3). Repentance does not mean grieving for past mistakes, because this is dwelling in the past, and our duty is to dwell in the present and make this moment right. Worrying over past mistakes is remorse, and remorse is a sin, for it is a refusal to accept God’s forgiveness. John the Baptist said, Repent ye: for the kingdom of heaven is at hand (Matthew 3:2). This means that you should change your thought and know that the Presence of God is where you are. ************************************************** ~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~ Destiny by Choice Chance plays no part in God's plan. ~ A Course in Miracles ~ In the film Mr. Destiny, James Belushi plays a man who wishes that his life were otherwise. For many years, Larry agonizes over striking out in a crucial situation while playing high school baseball under observation by major league scouts. He knows that if he had gotten a hit, he would have landed a professional baseball contract, generated a huge income, and married a woman as enticing as his boss's wife. Then Larry meets a shaman who shows him what his life would have been like if he had taken the glamour road. While Larry is initially in bliss, the demands placed upon a rich and famous person soon catch up with him, and he realizes that he created a hell, not a heaven. Finally, he prays to return to his regular life, which, although mediocre, is joyful for him. The caption on the movie poster asks, "Would you trade everything you have for everything you want?" While it may be tempting to fantasize about how it all might have been different if a key decision from your past had turned out another way, trust that it actually turned out in your best interests. On a deep level, our soul knows what will best serve our destiny, and the situations we manifest are in harmony with where we need to be for a particular purpose. Where else could you be but where you are, and who else could you be but who you are? Don't waste a moment regretting past mistakes or wishing it were otherwise. Ask yourself how you would like it to be now, and invest your energy in building the life you believe in. Then your life will reflect your choices, not your fears. Help me trust that the decisions You make through and around me are perfect. I am in my right place on my right path. I cannot lose because God is with me. |
September 14
Step by Step "Why sit with a long face in places where there is drinking, sighing about the good old days? If it is a happy occasion, try to increase the pleasure of those there; if a business occasion, go and attend to your business enthusiastically. If you are with a person who wants to eat in a bar, by all means go along. Let your friends know they are not to change their habits on your account. ...While you were drinking, you were withdrawing from life little by little. Now you are getting back into the social life of this world. Don't start to withdraw again just because your friends drink liquor." - Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, Ch 7 ("Working With Others"), p 102. Today, what "good old days" of my drinking? If they were so good, why am I in AA? And because I am in AA, do I skirt responsibility for my alcoholism by expecting or asking others to accommodate me by not having alcohol in their houses or serve it when I'm there? Do I expect a friend to take me to a new restaurant if the one we frequented serves liquor? And if others don't alter their habits to convenience me, do I repeat what I did as my drinking progressed by steadily withdrawing? Today, I begin taking responsibility for my own addiction and recovery by making changes from within and not expecting them from outside. By failing to do that, I am doing little else than living in the problem of struggling not to drink instead of the answer of sobriety. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M. ************************************************** ~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~ NEW FRIENDS Our friends are people who know all about us and still like us. ~ Anonymous ~ Because we are people who need people in order to maintain a happy recovery, we know that making friends can be one of our most important activities. We have over-come our "terminal uniqueness," isolation, and feelings of "being alone in a crowd." Sharing with friends in recovery is vital to our Program. We are told we can be an example of how our Program works. When we make new friends in recovery, sharing our experiences and learning from theirs, we carry the message. To be a loner is to deny this to others. As recovering people, we need others in order to survive. Again we are reminded that no one can do it for us, but we can't do it alone. By sharing with friends and making new ones, I've overcome my "terminal uniqueness." I carry the message and work my Program. ************************************************** ~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~ I began to have an idea of my life, not as the slow shaping of achievement to fit my preconceived purposes, but as the gradual discovery and growth of a purpose which I did not know. ~ Joanna Field ~ When we pledge to turn our life and our will over to the care of God, we have taken a profound step. With those words we enter into the mystery of the spiritual life. We move from feeling alone to trusting that our Higher Power will guide our choices. We move from focusing on what we want to focusing on who we will become. We stop trying to control everything and become open to the mystery that underlies life. For some of us, today presents challenges and worries. Some of us are anxious about a problem at work or within our family. We may have a painful dispute with our life partner. In the wisdom of the spiritual path, we can lean back on the faith that we don’t have to deal with these things alone. We can do what is possible, and we can rely on the care of God to work in the ways of God. Today I am grateful for the care and purposes of God to lead me in dealing with life. ************************************************** ~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~ Sharing secrets requires trust. Accepting secrets requires an open heart. ~ Kathleen Tierney Andrus ~ Sometimes we feel so different, so out-of-place with our co-workers, siblings, or even friends. Self- consciousness overwhelms us when we hide parts of ourselves from other people, fearing they’d reject us if they knew who we really were. Living in fear and isolation with our secrets gives others far too much power over us. We’re not comfortable when we try and hide so much of ourselves. If we take notice, we’ll see that at least one woman at every Twelve Step meeting risks her anonymity to talk about a dark area of her life. She is a wonderful example to us. Our acceptance of her heals her. Her sharing with us begins our own healing process. Accepting the secrets a friend needs to share today will help her heal. I will benefit too. My secrets will no longer reign so powerful. ************************************************** ~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~ I need to keep "first things first" In recovering from my dual disorder, I have two "first things": abstinence in my addiction and stability in my psychiatric illness. I can't simply choose either abstinence or medication. I need to stay free of street drugs and keep up my prescribed psychiatric medication. I can't simply choose between Twelve Step meetings or my group therapy meetings prescribed by my psychiatrist. They're different and I need them both, one for each illness. Each part supports the other. I must keep in mind that I have two no-fault illnesses that can affect one another and so place my recovery at greater risk. I am coming to believe that my very first thing—the most important thing in my life—is recovery. I will put my daily dual recovery activities first. ************************************************* ~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~ Glance at negatives but focus on positives. ~ Maxwell Maltz ~ It is always easy for a chemically dependent person to focus on the negatives. Up until now we have had little experience with positives. But now we can learn to use life’s negatives as tools for learning rather than as an outline for continued failure. Taking an inventory will turn them into such tools and rid us of the excess baggage we’ve been carrying for so long. By making a searching and fearless moral inventory, writing it all down on paper, we can see the past for what it was, recognize what caused it, and think about what we can learn from it. Then, and only then, can the past be disposed of. Our disease has kept us from looking at the positive side of many things. But already we can find many positive changes in our lives. We are more healthy, more emotionally stable. Our minds are clear again. And we have a Higher Power to protect and love us. Soon we’ll be able to find joy wherever we look, and realize the value of positive thinking. Today help me see the positives in my negatives. ************************************************** ~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~ If you don’t like how things are, change it! You’re not a tree. ~ Jim Rohn ~ Imagine that you have signed up for a white-water rafting weekend. As you head off down the river on your first day, your guide shouts commands and issues warnings of upcoming hazards. When the raft nearly flips over in a particularly rough patch of water, he says you are doing an awful job. By the end of the day, you feel like a failure. But the next day you have a new guide. As you head out in the raft, the guide offers instruction to paddle with greater strength. As you negotiate gnarly twists in the river, the guide praises your efforts. Even when the raft is almost upended, the guide gives soothing guidance and positive feedback. You enjoy this day far more than the previous day. Some people strive to instill fear in you and speak with anger and impatience. They rarely give praise or guidance. When you are around such people, you feel weak and uncertain of yourself. Others provide support and good advice. They recognize your strengths and give praise. When you are around such people, you feel strong and self-assured. Whom do you choose to be with today as you navigate the river of life? I choose to associate with people who recognize my strengths and help build my confidence. ************************************************** ~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~ Faith is the bird that feels the light when the dawn is still dark. ~ Sir Rabindranath Tagore ~ The bird that sings long before the sun has risen is strong evidence of faith. For that bird trusts the sky will soon lighten, the sun will rise, and the world will come alive. It is when the bird won't sing at such a time that we know it has lost faith in the great continuum of things. Even when things seem darkest for us, we can still sing. Even in our grief or loneliness or fear, we can find a voice within us that will help us have faith that all things change, all wounds heal, all is eased through the passage of time. We hear people tell us things get better. They do. Of that we can be certain, for it’s as sure as the rising sun. There isn't a day that won't have light. There isn’t a night that won’t have a rising sun at its end. There isn't a problem that won’t have a solution, a teardrop that won't have a smile, a weary soul that won't be energized once again. Tonight we can sing, for we can have faith in the rising sun. Things aren't as bad as they may seem tonight. There as hope, because there is always change. ************************************************** ~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~ Being patient Over time, we get what we want out of this program. If we seek a better way of life, for example, we will develop it. If we want to diminish our pain, we will find relief. If we want love, we will learn how to give it and receive it. Over time, our lives can improve a great deal through the Twelve Step program. Thus, our job is to keep coming to meetings and working the Steps. Can I do what I need to do to get what I want? Higher Power, help me to be patient with myself, the program, and the process of change. I will continue my process of recovery today by God help me to stay clean and sober today! ************************************************** ~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~ All the stories have been told long ago. Your job is retelling. Relighting. ~ PAM GEMS ~ Newcomer I can't believe how nervous I was about speaking at a neighborhood meeting. I was thinking, "These people already know all about me; I've got nothing to share that they haven't heard before." But after the meeting, lots of people thanked me Sponsor Every meeting is somehow different- Perhaps some people have heard us before, but most likely they bring a new awareness each time they hear us' What we say, as long as it's honest, will touch and connect with what's on other people's minds. What others have to share at the meeting is as important as the speaker's contribution. As all of us listen, identify, and speak in our various ways, our experience, strength, and hope become the warp and woof of another meeting. If our speaking keeps any one of us from acting out our addictions today, it's a success. Speaking is a tool for staying sober and a service to the rest of us who listen. Your presence, your willingness to show up and share, speaks volumes all on its own. Today, I have the self-esteem and the humility to share myself as I am. ************************************************** ~ THE EYE OPENER ~ Beauty that only appeals to the eye is shallow and is of short duration. A thought is only beautiful if it inspires beautiful action. A masterpiece of painting is a masterpiece only if it inspires people to beautiful thinking. Mechanical perfection is only good craftsmanship unless it provides a need for humanity. A thing of beauty is one that serves a beautiful purpose. If your actions are not motivated by lofty ideals and purposes you are denying yourself much that in beautiful in life. ************************************************** ~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~ Knowledge God, may I not fear new ideas and the wisdom offered to me in my recovery. Help me keep my mind open to hear the help that is offered and leave judgment to You. I'm able to hear more clearly when I work the Steps and let You work in my life. May I keep growing and accepting the knowledge that comes my way. When I don't know something, I will admit it. Knowing that I don't know is also knowledge. ************************************************* ~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~ KEY WORDS IN THE BIBLE LIFE Jesus said that he had come that we might have life and that we might "have it more abundantly." The Bible often uses the word life, and always with the implication that it is the greatest of all blessings. With long life will I satisfy him (Psalm 91:16). Thou wilt show me the path of life. . . (Psalm 16:11). Keep thy heart with all diligence, for out of it are the issues of life (Proverbs 4:23). Jesus says that those who follow him shall have the light of life. And the great goal of man is said all through the Bible to be eternal life. Now what is this life of which the Bible speaks? You experience life when you feel yourself to be free and useful and joyous, and unconscious of either fear or doubt. Everyone has known such periods. Though they are much rarer than they should be, those are the times that you were alive. At other times you did not have life, in the Scriptural sense. So when the Bible promises us long life, under certain conditions, it promises us a long period of joy and freedom. When it promises eternal life, it promises the enjoyment of these things forever, on the condition that we keep the Great Law—by seeking more knowledge of God, and putting Him first in our lives. ************************************************** ~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~ What a Job Is Worth Get happiness out of your work, or you may never know what happiness is. ~ Elbert Hubbard ~ In a classic Woody Allen scene in the movie What's New, *****cat? Woody meets a friend on a Paris street and tells him he has just gotten a new job helping the lovely dancers of the Folies Bergere to get dressed before their performances. "How much is the pay?" asks his friend. "Twenty sous per week," answers Allen. "Twenty sous per week? That's next to nothing!" the friend chides him. "I know," Woody answers. "But it was all I could afford." You know you are in your right job when you have a sneaky feeling you should be paying someone for the opportunity to do it. While this does not mean you need to pay to do it (indeed, the universe will pay you to be in your right place), it points to the truth that right livelihood blesses the giver of a service as much as the receiver. If you're searching for your right livelihood or evaluating your current work in light of your vision, a good question to ask is, "What would I be doing even if I weren't getting paid for it?" What turns you on so much that you would do it for sheer delight? That is the arrow to follow toward work that will bring you joy as well as prosperity. Prosperity is not a level of income; it is a consciousness. If you are happy, productive, and giving service in a profession, you are living in the abundance consciousness. This attitude will move you to produce quality work and draw to you plentiful good in the form of money or other material support. When you do what you do not love, you affirm that the universe cannot provide you with joyful livelihood, and that compromise is required of a divine being. The universe will also mirror this attitude if you hold it. I receive as much from writing and teaching as do the readers or students. Even if no one ever reads what I write, it would still be entirely worth writing it. Work from your heart, and the universe will work for you. Help me to serve in a way that brings me joy, as well as others. The universe supports me as I follow my bliss. |
September 15
Step by Step " ...I can only say that whatever growth or understanding has come to me, I have no wish to graduate. Very rarely do I miss the meetings of my neighborhood AA group, and my average has never been less than two meetings a week. I have served on only one committee in the past nine years, for I feel that I had my chance the first few years and that newer members should fill the jobs. They are far more alert and progressive than we floundering fathers were, and the future of our fellowship is in their hands." - Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, "Alcoholics Anonymous Number Three," Ch 6 ("The Vicious Cycle"), pp 249-50. Today, words that instill the program as a lifelong exercise and call to service. If I remain reluctant for whatever reason to propel myself into visible service, my own continued sobriety and emotional and spiritual growth can serve the newcomer by witnessing my own example that the program works. And, hopefully, with continued growth and nurturing, I may someday be able - even eager - to serve in a visible capacity such as a speaker, moderator at a meeting or giving a ride to a meeting to someone who needs it. Today, I strengthen my sobriety with more than gratitude by respecting it because, in the end, my own recovery and that of everyone else may well determine "the future of our fellowship." And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M. ************************************************** ~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~ SHORTCOMINGS The unexamined life is not worth living. ~ Socrates ~ None of us who strive for serenity will ever be tempted to say that we are leading a life that has gone unexamined. Our Program places great emphasis on the Steps concerned with taking inventory of our lives and making definite moves to rid ourselves of shortcomings we find are slowing our progress. These Steps continue to stress a spiritual progress that can be maintained if we expect to cope with our problems. We in recovery know that the inventory of defects of character needs to be fearless and thorough. Subsequent Steps involve us in admitting our wrongs to a Higher Power and humbly seeking God's help in relieving our lives of those handicaps. We continue to look at our behavior and make daily assessments of how we are living and handling our problems. I am getting to know myself through my inventory taking. By examining and working to remove my shortcomings and character defects, my life has become worth living. ************************************************** ~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~ It’s not true that nice guys finish last. Nice guys are winners before the game even starts. ~ Addison Walker ~ Being considerate, civil, generous, and interested in others forms the basis of good character and good relationships with others. When we stop being so focused on ourselves, when we stop trying to come out ahead of everyone else, our world opens up. We suddenly have good, supportive friendships that are more valuable than material winnings. The Golden Rule is ancient advice that is expressed in many languages and world religions. It says, “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” It is a small man who takes away someone else’s power to advance his own. A strong man can confidently cheer for the strength of others. Today I am grateful for the good friends in my life. ************************************************** ~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~ Maturity doesn’t come with age or intellectual wisdom, only with love. ~ Ruth Casey ~ We may have thought being mature meant being “grown-up.” This meant acting rationally, showing good judgment, no longer exhibiting childish behavior. It’s doubtful that we ever considered the expression of love as an act of maturity. However, we are learning that the key to sustained growth is the ability to love one another and ourselves. It seems so much easier to focus on others’ faults than on their assets. In childhood we learned to compete with our classmates, and this taught us to be critical of one another. No teacher tested us on how we expressed love; rather, we worked on spelling and multiplication tables, and we were pitted against other students for the gold stars. Now we are discovering how much more comfortable life is when we all get gold stars. We are handling every situation more sanely now that we have realized the gift of serenity that accompanies our expression of love. My growth, my maturity in this program, can best be measured by my attitude today. Am I loving, or am I still competing with the others? ************************************************** ~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~ I want to stay abstinent When I was using, some days I'd wake up and look at myself in the mirror. I looked awful. I felt awful. I'd stare into my eyes and silently plead with myself to quit the chemicals. I couldn't keep it up anymore. I was falling apart and things were falling apart all around me. I was scared. I no longer had control. I'm grateful today that I finally became willing to accept this problem and that I finally got help. Sometimes I still feel like caving in, but there is something inside me that still wants to hang on, still wants to get better, still wants to stay abstinent. I need to pay close attention to that desire. When I feel like using again, I will tell a friend and ask for help. ************************************************* ~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~ If you pray for bread and bring no basket to carry it, you prove the doubting spirit which may be the only hindrance to the boon you ask. ~ Dwight L. Moody ~ If we have been introduced to the fellowship of a Twelve Step program, how can we still doubt the power of prayer? When we were hopeless and our lives were in a shambles, didn’t we ask, wish, or plead for deliverance? Whether we thought we were praying or not, our prayers have been answered. It doesn’t matter if we think it was God or the miracle of the Twelve Steps or some other Higher Power that came through for us. What matters is we asked, and we were answered. If this doesn’t demonstrate the power of prayer, what will? We are letting go of doubt and suspicion. It is time to remember that even in our day-to-day lives, there is a Power greater than ourselves we can turn to. We no longer have to resign ourselves to suffering. Faith is our “basket.” If we bring the basket to carry the bread, we will never be alone. Today help me summon my faith so I can accept the gifts that await me. ************************************************** ~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~ The Milkmaid and Her Pail A milkmaid walked to the village with a pail of milk balanced on her head. She began to think about what she I would do with the money she would make when the milk was sold, and decided she would buy some chickens. They would lay eggs, which would bring in a good price at the market. “Then I will use the money I earn to buy a new dress and hat,” she said. “I will go to the market dressed so nicely, and all the young men will notice me. All the women will be jealous of me.” Eager to get on with her plans, she began to walk a little faster. “I will just look at those women, smile, and toss my head in the air.” With that, she actually tossed her head. The pail fell to the ground and all of the milk spilled out. The moral of the story: Do not count your chickens before they are hatched. While it may be tempting to think being clean and sober means you can show others they were wrong about you, this is not the purpose of recovery. Recovery is a program that helps you stay clean and sober. Your work in the program is something you do for yourself. I will not use my recovery as a means of retaliation or personal gain. ************************************************** ~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~ Whatever course you decide upon, there is always someone to tell you you are wrong. There are always difficulties arising which tempt you to believe that your critics are right. To map out a course of action and follow it to an end requires . . . courage. ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson ~ When we first entered the program, someone may have said to us, "Oh, you don't have a problem. You don't need that program." That person may have dismissed our reasons with countless excuses, saying that our decision was silly or foolish, that someday we'd come to our senses. At first we may have believed our critics. The program certainly wasn't easy. Maybe our circumstances weren't as bad as we thought, compared to others’. Maybe we looked around the meeting room and didn't see people of the same age, the same sex, or the same background. Maybe we felt we didn't belong. But as we became familiar with the Steps and the principles of the program, we realized we could relate to others and benefit from what they had to say. We, too, belonged. Tonight, help me be grateful for the courage it took for me to stay in the program. ************************************************** ~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~ Learning how to pray Step Eleven may give us concern: I haven’t prayed in so many years! What do I do? I don’t even know where to begin. Fortunately, praying can be as simple as it is important. It need not be long or formal. It needs no particular prayer, time, or place. It is simply thinking good thoughts, saying our feelings, or reviewing our day. Whatever we do as praying is a good thing. Am I learning how to pray? Higher Power, help me pray. Help me stay in touch with my spiritual self. Today I will pray by God help me to stay clean and sober today! ************************************************** ~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~ When you forget the beginner's awe, you start decaying. ~ NOBUKO ALBERY ~ Newcomer I'm surprised at something I've recently felt happening to me at meetings. It's a kind of serendipity: whatever the speaker's story whatever the topic or the literature being read, it seems to apply perfectly to what's going on in my life. Sponsor Some of us have this experience at the first meeting we attend. We're ready to be shown a way to live without addiction, to hear the words that will help us to heal. The experience of that first meeting slakes a spiritual thirst even greater than we knew we had. Some of us are blessed to be able to listen with the same kind of active, focused attention throughout our recovery; some of us gradually grow in our ability to identify with others and to feel gratitude. Whenever we listen with the expectation of hearing something that will meet our needs, we hear it. You're feeling a connection to other people's sharing, in part because of the willingness, empathy, and gratitude you bring to meetings. When we are open and receptive, we can almost always count on someone's saying words that seem to speak directly to us. Today, I listen actively; I hear words that are meant for me. ************************************************** ~ THE EYE OPENER ~ The greatest battles of life are won or lost without the sound of a single shot. Suppose Christ had lost His battle with Satan at the time of His temptation? Its repercussions would have been greater than all the battles of history. Your greatest victory, your greatest display of courage in your fight against Alcohol was not accomplished amid flying banners and the flourish of trumpets but in the quiet of your own heart. The most courageous thing a man can do when he has fought a good fight and realizes that he is up against unconquerable odds, is to admit that he is whipped. General Robert E. Lee's reputation for courage suffered not one bit by his surrender at Appomattox. ************************************************** ~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~ I Cannot Do This Alone O God, help me pray and concentrate my thoughts on You, I cannot do this alone. In me there is darkness, But with You there is light; I am lonely, but You do not leave me, I am feeble in heart, but with You there is help, I am restless, but with You there is patience; I do not understand Your ways, But You know the way for me. ~ From "I Cannot Do This Alone, by Dietrich Bonhoeffer ~ ************************************************* ~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~ AFTER YOUR HEALING Healing is only the beginning. When you are completely healed of everything wrong in your life—your body, your business, difficulties in personal relationships, obvious faults in your own character—you will not have finished your work. Your real work will only be commencing. Your real work is to show and experience the glory of God, to build the spiritual consciousness, "the house magnifical." Conscious fear will have gone, and your whole world will be different. The physical world will be different because it will be clothed in a new glory—"the light that never was on sea or land." Then people will be different because you will be beginning to know their real selves instead of merely the outer shell, and, of course, everyone else will notice that you are different, too. This is not to say that healing is unimportant—it has to precede the building. Let us endeavor to get our own healing completed as soon as possible in order to help the world that is needing it so much. Bless the Lord . . . who healeth all thy diseases . . . who crowneth thee with lovingkindness . . . (Psalm 103:2-4). ************************************************** ~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~ Bought the T-Shirt To see what few have seen, you must go where few have gone. ~ Buddha ~ When opera star Beverly Sills retired from the stage to become a director, she was constantly asked, "How could you give up such a glorious and lucrative career?" Finally, Beverly had a little gold pendant made displaying the letters "I.A.D.T.'' When someone at a party would question Beverly about leaving the stage, she would hold up the pendant and recite, “I already did that.'' Just because something has worked for a long time, that does not mean you must do it forever. lf you still feel enlivened and emotionally rewarded in it, carry on. But if the juice is gone, you must ask yourself where your heart really calls you, and move in a new direction. To keep rubber-stamping an old activity is not a career; it is hiding. Some writers, musicians, or artists produce a dearth of works that are but variations on an old formula or theme. The products sell, but on the inside, these souls are dying artistically. What is required is not more of the same, but a leap of faith to do something new and different. If you can say, "Been there, done that, and bought the T-shirt,” it's time to venture onward. To live is to explore, reach out, and risk. The only real security lies in adventure. Give me the courage to try something new. I want each day to be more alive than the last. I launch into uncharted territory, trusting that spirit is guiding me. |
September 16
Step by Step "In two ways I may be a little different from other alcoholics. First, we all hear at AA meetings about those who have lost everything, those who have been in jail, those who have been in prison, those who have lost their families, those who have lost their income. I never lost any of it. I never was on skid row. I made more money the last year of my drinking than I ever made before in my whole life. My wife never hinted that she would leave me. Everything that I touched from grammar school on was successful. I was president of my grammar school student body. I was president of all of my classes in high school and in my last year I was president of that student body. I was president of each class in the University, and president of that student body. I was voted the man most likely to succeed. The same thing occurred in medical school. I belong to more medical societies and honor societies than men 10 to 20 years my senior. 'Mine was the skid row of success. The physical skid row in any city is miserable. The skid row of success is just as miserable.'" - Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, "They Stopped in Time," Ch 6 ("Physician, Heal Thyself!"), p 345. Today, no pride in successes or acquisitions of things in my life - for they are no refuge from alcoholism. Skid row is just as miserable in my own home as it is under a bridge or in a homeless shelter. Responsibility comes with success and material gain as it does with irresponsible choices, and alcoholic drinking is not the responsible response to life when it is good any more than when it is bad. If I choose to "reward" my successes and material gains with irresponsible drinking, I risk turning my living room into skid row. Today, I accept responsibility to my sober life just as I am responsible for the consequences of my drinking. What I have today is not promised me tomorrow. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M. ************************************************** ~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~ SOLUTION Be part of the solution, not the problem. ~ Anonymous ~ When we were practicing our addiction, we traveled alone. We created short-term friendships with fellow users. These dissolved when the "party was over." Our addiction demanded from us absolute obedience. There could be no intimate friendships. No relationship was more important than the addiction. Any that moved in too close was beaten away by the disease. We were solitary, held hostage in our own prison. The Fellowship has broken the grip of this isolation. The miracle of recovery is that of men and women sharing their experience, strength, and hope with each other. We are together; we share with each other what we know, what we experience; we rely on each other. The Fellowship is a circle of spiritual vitality that energizes anyone who decides to join hands. Alone I am the problem. Together with others, I am part of the solution. ************************************************** ~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~ If stupidity got us into this mess, then why can’t it get us out? ~ Will Rogers ~ When we are in the midst of our worst problems, we often behave stubbornly, trying harder to gain control of what is out of control. Because we feel alone, or be-cause we insist on doing things our own way, we repeatedly apply the same solutions that repeatedly produce the same problems. We forget that as human beings we require the help of others to live happy and healthy lives. We need all the help we can get. Without the input and wisdom of others, we are stuck with our limited or mistaken ideas. Perhaps today we are faced with problems that have no clear solutions. We can’t see an obvious way around them, and we can’t see a new answer. The sooner we accept our true nature and bring others into our questions, the sooner we will be able to consider new ideas and take in the wisdom of our friends. Today I resolve to talk to my friends about the matters that weigh on my mind. ************************************************** ~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~ When I feed on resentments and anger, I am giving someone else rent-free space in my head. ~ Kathy Kendall ~ Becoming consumed by our emotions is all too familiar. It was a favorite pastime before we got clean and sober, and it still may “own” us. Much to our dismay, sponsors remind us that we’re getting a payoff or we wouldn’t continue the practice. They also tell us it’s never too late to give it up. We can begin immediately. Let’s breathe in the positive. It takes the same effort as dwelling on resentments, and the outcome is so much healthier. Let’s bring our blessings to mind first. Breathe in the images of friends and the smiles we share. Breathe in the image of our Higher Power and those comforting arms. Breathe in the bright light of healing that is the program’s gift. Breathe in the peace that comes with knowing all is finally well. Giving our minds over to loving images heals us. The hurts of the past can reach us no more if we breathe in the good. I will breathe in my Higher Power today. I will dwell on the safety and serenity of my journey. ************************************************** ~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~ I am developing faith in my own experience When I first started having emotional problems, I did not know what was happening. I didn’t have a clue about handling the problem or its source. It didn't help that family and friends understood even less. When I realized that my moods were out of control, I got professional help. By and by, I got stable and began to accept my emotional life (although others still did not). I began to trust myself more and take greater responsibility for managing my illnesses. I learned that I need not believe what others might say about my illnesses and about what I feel or experience. With my time in recovery, I can simply believe in myself. I will write about, or draw a picture of, the most recent time I trusted my intuition. ************************************************* ~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~ Blessed are they which do hunger and thirst after righteousness: for they shall be filled. ~ Matthew 5:6 ~ A common characteristic of early recovery is impatience. We’ve lived in misery and chaos for so long that it’s hard to wait for our lives to change. And we are spiritually and morally bankrupt — we have no reserves of patience to draw on. That is why a solid recovery program can be very helpful. We can see the immediate results of our efforts — from illness to wellness in Twelve simple Steps. God, in His wisdom, does not withhold the rewards until the end. Every step of the way, He is with us, encouraging our efforts and lifting our spirits. He celebrates our joy and comforts us in sadness. We find we can turn our will and lives over to Him with trust. And with this first act of surrender, we find a new life filled with tolerance, kindness, and love. Today I pray that You will always allow me to see the amazing greatness of Your Power in my life. Thank You for Your many blessings. ************************************************** ~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~ Today is life—the only life you are sure of. Make the most of today.... Live today with gusto. ~ Dale Carnegie ~ Your tomorrows can be quite different from your yester-days when you strive to be the best you can be today. What you choose to do right now can set the tone not just for the hours that lie ahead, but also the days, months, and years in your future. In his poem “Just for Today,” Kenneth L. Holmes details actions that can be taken by those in recovery to make the most of each day. These include: tackling the problems of today, not all of your problems; being happy; strengthening your mind; adjusting to what is and not what you would like; treating others well; focusing on yourself and not on others; following the program; meditating; and being unafraid. He writes at the beginning of his poem: “I can do something for twelve hours that would appall me if I felt I had to keep it up for a lifetime.” What can you do today that will help you become a better person now, and in the future? Just for today, I will do something outside of my comfort zone. ************************************************** ~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~ Let us not look back in anger, nor forward in fear, but around us in awareness. ~ James Thurber ~ What is it we fear the most? Going into a grocery store or going to a gathering of strangers? If we teach ourselves to look not in fear but in awareness, we might see the grocery store's well-stocked delicatessen or the lovely outfit worn by someone at a social gathering. Who makes us angry? Perhaps the boss does, or maybe a loved one. If we look at him or her not in anger but in awareness, we might see the boss has many tensions and pressures, or a loved one is tired and can't be supportive. If we look only at our feelings of anger or fear, then those are all we'll see. But if we look around and become aware of the issues of anger or fear, suddenly the anger and fear won't be the focus anymore. Through awareness, we'll learn more about people and we'll gain a greater understanding of their behaviors. Through this awareness, we'll change our reactions of fear and anger to understanding and acceptance. I can become aware of my feelings and understand them. Then I can work on changing these feelings for the better. ************************************************** ~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~ Letting go of guilt Once in the grips of addiction, we used mood-altering chemicals less because we wanted to than because we were hooked. We hurt ourselves and others less because we wanted to than because we were hooked. We felt guilty, and as our disease progressed, guilt overwhelmed us. Being clean and sober, we need to let go of this crippling guilt along with our insane past. To do this, we use Steps Four and Five. As we work these soul-cleansing Steps, we forgive ourselves. By forgiving ourselves, we come to love ourselves and so become able to love others. Am I letting go of guilt? Higher Power, help me to work the Steps and forgive myself. If I feel guilty about something today, I will practice forgiving myself by God help me to stay clean and sober today! ************************************************** ~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~ Everyone is a moon and has a dark side which he never shows to anybody. ~ MARK TWAIN ~ Newcomer There's something about myself that I still haven't told you. It's an old secret, and I still don't feel able to talk about it, even though I know you're open-minded. Sponsor I'm glad that you feel trusting enough to reveal that there's still more to know about you. Many of us feel shame about an event from the past, many of us live with a habit, a feeling, or an inadequacy that doesn't fit our image of who we think we should be. We've done a lot of work to deny or disown our pasts, presenting a "cleaned-up" self to the outside world that we think will keep us safe from rejection. But we don't entirely succeed in erasing the part of ourselves that threatens our self-image. Shame and denial remain with us, no matter how much energy we're using to sustain the illusion of a self we believe is more acceptable than our real self. When we begin to test this belief by sharing something we've been holding inside, we become more real to ourselves and others. We experience relief and increased energy. You may not feel entirely safe in discussing this matter with me at this time; you may prefer to talk with a spiritual adviser, therapist, or program friend whose experience is closer to your own. I respect your need to begin to take this courageous step in a way that feels as safe as possible to you. Today, I'm willing to bring into the light a part of myself that I've disowned. ************************************************** ~ THE EYE OPENER ~ The main objective in talking is to say something, not just anything. Words give a truer picture of a man than does a photograph, for words are reflections of the inner man, beyond the range of the finest camera. Most of us alcoholics have been hurt more by our own words than we have by the words of others. Let us screen our words through our minds and give expression only to those words that are products of a sober and thinking intellect. ************************************************** ~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~ If I'm Discouraged Today If I'm discouraged today, God of my understanding, let me be able to give thanks for my recovery, my health, my family, and my friends. If I’m discouraged today, let me remember the sadness and problems before recovery. Let me appreciate today and how much better it is than the life I left behind. If I'm discouraged today, may I remember my spiritual journey is the sometimes painful process of learning to let go of things that are not important. ************************************************* ~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~ BUILT-IN HEALING The body cannot resist healing. It cannot even try to resist it. It cannot, so to speak, even want to resist it, because it is not intelligent. It is important to understand this fact when praying for your own healing or that of another because otherwise, without realizing it, you are likely to enter on a mental struggle with the body to compel it to change; and, of course, such a proceeding is quite useless and also fatiguing. It is your sincere belief about your body that has to be changed—changed from false belief to the Truth. Then . . . thine health shall spring forth speedily: and thy righteousness shall go before thee . . . (Isaiah 58:8). ************************************************** ~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~ The Whole Truth The truth shall set you free. ~ Jesus Christ ~ A married man is interested in me," Marilyn told me. "But I don't feel attracted to him." "What did you tell him?" I asked. "l told him that I do not date married men." "When I heard Marilyn's response, something did not sit well with me. "You did not tell him the whole truth," I ventured. "What do you mean?" "The bottom line is that you are not interested in a relationship with this man. The fact that he is married is secondary. What would you do if he got divorced, showed up at your door with flowers, and announced, 'Here I am—not married any more'?" "I guess I would tell him I was not interested in creating a relationship with him." "That's the other half of the truth you need to tell now." Life is a series of lessons in discovering the truth and living it. Whenever we hedge, compromise, withhold, deny, or camouflage what is really happening, sooner or later we will have to retrace our steps to the point where we diverted from the whole truth, and tell it. Speak up now, and avoid the rush later. Take a moment to consider any areas in your life in which you have not told the whole truth. This is not to make you guilty, but to liberate you. Whenever we set aside what is happening and pretend, our "stash" robs our energy from being fully present. Consider what you would say if you had the courage to put your cards on the table. Although the prospect may be challenging, it is a lot less work than carrying a lie and then having to come back and say what you wanted to say in the first place. Help me be aware of the truth and have the courage to live it. The truth is my strength and my friend. |
September 17
Step by Step Today, first things first, one thing at a time, one step at a time, one feeling at a time if one day at a time is too daunting a challenge. Today, I will quiet the noise in my mind for the program's wisdom to take me from the character defects that degrade sobriety into dry drunkenness - if not a wet one. If and when the responsibilities to sobriety seem too heavy, I will look to the steps and live in the answer of sobriety instead of the problem of trying not to drink. And, in the end, the problem is not living with the struggle not to relapse: the answer is living in the program. Today, I have the choice to live in sobriety instead of struggling to fight off what threatens it. Today, I can live in the answer, not the problem. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M. ************************************************** ~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~ SICK AND TIRED Sick and tired of being sick and tired. ~ Anonymous ~ What a joy for us in recovery to discover mornings without a bleary-eyed hangover, a drugged-out case of nerves, or a bloated stomach. What a joy to taste food, smell flowers, sit without sweating, or go to sleep without passing out. What a joy to get into a car without fear of a DWI, without having to lie about where we were the night before. What a joy to stop swinging from pillar to post with every would-be lover, or finding ourselves a doormat for every Tom, Dick or Mary. We can wake up in the middle of the night without shaking with fear. We find that our Higher Power is doing for us what we can't do for ourselves. We have given up being "manipulators and operators" to become "true co-operators." We have hope for a better tomorrow. The sick and tired existence of being sick and tired has finally come to an end. ************************************************** ~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~ If a man does his best, what else is there? ~ General George S. Patton ~ For many of us, competition is so ingrained that we have a knee-jerk competitive reaction to almost every encounter with another man. Competition is great fun among friends. Testing our skill, our power, and our wits against others helps us know ourselves better and shows us what we are capable of. It is a kind of closeness among friends to playfully compete. But when competition becomes our only way to relate to others, it keeps people away. When we can only respond with a wisecrack or a one-up comment, we are just a one-trick pony, reacting out of weakness and fear of getting close. Among true and trusted friends, a man is entitled to show more than his strength and his guarded side. A true friend doesn’t use our vulnerability or our mistakes to take advantage of us. When he holds them as a trust that he guards and protects, he shows the mark of true friendship. Today I will be the best person that I can be, and that includes honesty about my weaknesses and vulnerability. ************************************************** ~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~ When we really understand the fact of separate realities, we will stop spending so much time and energy trying to change the reality of others. ~ Jane Nelsen ~ What makes us want to control others, not just their actions but their opinions too? Do our personal views need the validation of everyone for us to feel adequate? Coming to believe that we all have valid perspectives on every experience is akin to coming to believe that there is a Higher Power in charge of our lives. It takes willingness to suspend our assumptions and adopt the principles of this program. It’s liberating, even exhilarating, to realize that we all see situations a bit differently. It’s like going from a black-and-white picture to Technicolor. Our experiences are enriched as we view them with new attitudes. How I see my experiences today is up to me; how my friends see theirs is up to them. My view may complement theirs, but it’s mine, solely. ************************************************** ~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~ I am coming to trust my feelings People tell me that I am different these days—lighter, more relaxed. I can hardly believe that I'm feeling pretty good again. A subtle change has taken place in me. And yet, sometimes I can’t trust it. I'm afraid that it will go away. When I spoke about my confusion in group, I got some support. I learned that my fear of a sudden reversal will weaken in time as I get used to being successful. I learned that pride is not necessarily a bad thing and that it's OK to take note of my own healthy growth. I pray that my higher power will keep me humble and strong. I will write out an affirmation that reads, "It’s OK to be strong and successful." ************************************************* ~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~ Appreciate the moment. ~ Isamu Noguchi ~ Imagine living in a time warp where everything is slowed down. An hour would take a year to unfold. The events of five minutes would last a month. With so much time, we could look at everything in greater detail. We could see, and think about, every detail of everything that surrounds us. Now, try letting time speed up to normal, but retain the awareness and curiosity for detail we found in the time warp. How much richer our lives are when we take the time to look around us. Our Higher Power has stocked each moment with a treasure for us. Living for the moment in sobriety helps us become aware of the little joys that previously passed us by. And in these little moments we find life itself, and in each found treasure we see the footprints of our Higher Power, always walking beside us. Today help me to see the beauty of a flower, a smile, a sober lifestyle, one moment at a time. ************************************************** ~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~ We are most deeply asleep at the switch when we fancy we control any switches at all. ~ Annie Dillard ~ Imagine that the front door to your home is blocked by a massive rock. Because of this rock, you cannot get out I he door and no one can enter. All you need to do is move the rock, but it is much too large for you to handle on your own. Now imagine that a dozen people arrive to help move the rock. If you are stubbornly independent, you will tell them, “I have it under control.” They will leave, and you will still be held captive by the rock. But if you are self- reliant, then you know that even though you can manage many things in your life, the rock is too big for you to handle on your own. You welcome the assistance. Over time, the burdens of being stubbornly independent can prove to be overwhelming. You may try to overcome your addiction alone, face your fears and sadness alone, and strive to be strong alone. Asking for help does not mean you are no longer self-sufficient. It means you are smart. When you are able to identify the rocks in your life that you cannot move without assistance and ask for help, you are letting go in a positive way. Are there rocks in my life that others can help me move? ************************************************** ~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~ If you make an error, use it as a stepping stone to a new idea you might not otherwise have discovered. ~ Anonymous ~ Sometimes we struggle so hard to become perfect human beings that we may view any minor errors of the day as earth-shattering mistakes from which we might never recover. Instead of seeing our errors as entirely human and forgivable, we may sink into feelings of hopelessness and despair. We can choose to berate ourselves for our errors, or we can see such errors as lessons to learn from. When we were in school, our teachers used tests to measure our capacity for learning. Today, life is our test, and our grades depend upon how well we learn from our errors. Some of our greatest thinkers used their errors to discover medical cures, time-saving inventions, or scientific theories. The errors of today can become just the stepping stones we need to cross the river of recovery tonight. Did I make any errors today? How can I learn from them tonight? ************************************************** ~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~ Letting go Some of us who abused mood-altering chemicals have been urged to change our behavior by using “willpower” or by “resisting temptation.” It’s a common misconception that we should be masters of our souls. But if addiction is a disease of control, recovery is about letting go. Ironically, only when we realize that we don’t know how to be masters—how did we end up here in the first place?—can we progress. We may not know exactly what to do to recover or how to do it, but we know we have help in the program. Am I trusting my life and will over to my Higher Power? Higher Power, help me to believe that letting go is more freeing than frightening. To practice letting go today, I will God help me to stay clean and sober today! ************************************************** ~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~ Drugs were always around. ~ JAMES TAYLOR ~ Newcomer I spent a weekend as the guest of a friend who doesn't have my particular addictive problem. I welcomed the opportunity for a change of scene. My friend was respectful of my commitment to recovery and didn't try to get me to compromise my recovery in any way. Still, I kept imagining that she thought less of me for my sobriety. I wonder if I'll ever be totally comfortable around nonaddicted people. Sponsor It's not always easy for me to spend time with people who can safely do something that, for me, is life-threatening—even when they're courteous enough not to do it directly in front of me. If I'm dependent on another person for companionship and a sense of security, even for a short visit, my old coping mechanisms may come into play. I may attribute my own conflicting or uncomfortable feelings to the other person, or apologize when I'm actually feeling angry. I don't think that it's time to assume that relating to other people is not for you. This was just a beginning. I'm glad that you trusted yourself to explore a new environment and to spend time with another person. Getting to know ourselves better often goes hand in hand with getting to know others better, too. Life-enriching experiences abound for those who are open to trying new things. Today, I reach out to other people with a sense of ease. I don't judge my reactions or experience; I accept them simply as what is happening today. ************************************************** ~ THE EYE OPENER ~ Many people in AA take too literally the statement they hear to the effect “we have no initiation fee or dues.” Alcoholics Anonymous is not free—it costs a whale of a lot. It takes your time, your money, your thoughts, your prayers. It will give you a lot every day of your life, but it also requires a lot of your everyday living. If you are stingy with AA, You are cheating yourself. If you want a horse to work for you, you must feed him. ************************************************** ~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~ When Agitated or Doubtful Dear God, as I go through my day I pause, when agitated or doubtful, and ask You for the right thought or action. I need to constantly remind myself that I am no longer running the show and humbly say to myself many times each day, "Thy will be done." ~ Adapted from material in Alcoholics Anonymous, Fourth Edition, pages 87-88 ~ ************************************************* ~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~ TESTIMONY I know when people pass by me in a line who it is that wants advice. They have to tell me their story in a minute; I have to get their story straight and they have to come to the point. As a rule they don’t. They usually say instead, “I am not going to take up your time. I know a public man doesn't have much time. I thought if I could just talk to you and tell you what is in my mind . . ." But why don't they do it? Because they are worried so that they cannot say what is on their mind. If I may seem impatient, do forgive me. I know if you have a problem it will be difficult for you to come to a point. If you could, it would not be much of a problem. But this I can say to you: In my work I have every sort of person coming to me for advice and help. I have been doing this work now for many years, and there is not any kind of person who has not told me everything about himself. I have never found a case that couldn't be changed and put right if the patient would cooperate. One generation shall praise thy works to another, and shall declare thy mighty acts (Psalm 145:4). ************************************************** ~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~ Holy Loafing To do great work a man must be very idle as well as very industrious. ~ Samuel Butler ~ Jerry Gillies, award-winning NBC broadcaster and author of the million-selling book, Money Love, underscores the importance of creative loafing. Jerry affirms: Self-reflection is one of the most productive things you can do with your creative imagination... When I was the director of the Biofeedback Institute, I demonstrated to some of the top executives of major corporations that by slowing down they'd be able to tap into deeper levels of their subconscious and come up with more valuable ideas. One publishing executive started taking Wednesdays off to relax and meditate. He reported back to me that he had gotten much more work accomplished in the remaining four days than he had ever gotten done in five! Rest, relaxation, play, imagination, and daydreaming are as vital to the creative process as hard work. A good graphic or interior designer will attest that the white space on a page or open areas of a room are as important as the words or objects that border the space. While doing is important, so is being; a balance of the two is the secret of success. The next time you feel overwhelmed, tires, jammed, or uncreative, stop and refresh your spirit. Renew yourself by doing something entirely unrelated to your work. Go to a movie, dance, walk in nature, listen to music, or immerse yourself in your favorite hobby. During your recreation time, you may receive important insights, and when you return, you will be far ahead of where you would have been if you worked without ceasing. Help me remember to take care of my heart. Teach me how to play, that I may serve You better. I love myself enough to rest, play, and renew. |
September 18
Step by Step "I've been benefited from a dictionary definition I found that reads: 'rationalization is giving a socially acceptable reason for socially unacceptable behavior, and socially unacceptable behavior is a form of insanity'." - Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, "They Lost Nearly All," Ch 12 ("Freedom From Bondage"), p 551. Today, getting drunk every night and waking every morning to shakes, dry heaves and a shot of whiskey instead a cup of coffee can't be rationalized with, "Everyone drinks." Not everyone gets drunk every day or has blackouts, and giving a "socially acceptable reason" for an unacceptable behavior is part of the insanity of alcoholism. And alcoholic drinking is not a socially accepted behavior. Today, in my recovery, the definition of insanity is expanded beyond continuing behavior that always leads to the same outcome to include rationalizing my unacceptable conduct with an acceptable reason. May it serve me well. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M. ************************************************** ~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~ GUILT Try to replace guilt with gratitude. ~ Anonymous ~ We could do very little in our lives while our disease ran unchecked. We hurt ourselves more than anyone. We did things we did not mean to do. We put off doing things we were going to do. We offended people we did not mean to offend. We were used to carrying such guilt and regret that it is a wonder more of us didn't take our own lives. In recovery, we learn how to free ourselves from old guilt. We learn how to make apologies, repay debts, and clean up mistakes through our Steps. We receive an unconditional forgiveness for our past life. We are not unworthy. What we are left with when the guilt is removed is gratitude. We become grateful for a chance to live a good life. We learn we do not have to live with new guilt because we do not have to do things for which we will feel guilty. In the past, I did the best I could. Now I can do better. I would rather be standing on a mountain top with my arms extended in gratitude than in a hole holding a bucket of guilt. ************************************************** ~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~ There is no saint without a past—no sinner without a future. ~ Shri Haidakhan Babaji ~ How can we not believe in redemption when we see it demonstrated all around the room every time we attend a meeting? Our most respected members were once in crisis at the bottom of their lives. And when we contemplate our own feelings of guilt and shame, we need humility to accept the fact that we, too, can be restored. All saints and all sinners reflect the same truth: all human beings are imperfect. If we are truly humble, we can accept our humanity, stop expecting perfection, and forgive our mistakes. We take our personal inventory and assume responsibility for our actions because that process starts to release us from guilt and shame. The most dignified man is not the guy who never made a mistake, but the one who faced his mistakes and went forward living a better life. Today I am grateful for the redemption this pro-am leads me toward. ************************************************** ~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~ Almost everyone wants something for nothing. ~ Marsha Sinetar ~ Bargains attract. Finding a good value excites us, and we share the news quickly. Wanting anything for free is human nature perhaps. However, many of us have had to learn again and again that you get what you pay for. This is true of human interactions too. Why do we think that others will be there for us if we aren’t available for them? Having friends means being a friend, even if it’s time-consuming. Although friendship’s rewards are indisputable, we still tend to wait, letting the other person make the first move. Getting the other person to commit first reduces our effort, perhaps, but we will still receive according to what we give. Knowing and utilizing this principle simplifies our lives. Once we master it, we never forget it. And what we bring to our relationships will be given back to us. I am willing to give to others what I want in return today. Their efforts will match my own. ************************************************** ~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~ I continue to learn I know where I've been and I know where I'm going. I have had powerful emotions and powerful experiences. I have learned much and I am getting stronger all the time. But I believe that there is more—more to feel, experience, and learn. Since there are always new experiences (and new interpretations of old experiences), I will strive to improve my understanding of myself. The point is not to be "recovered," but to embrace the process: the point is recovering. It is a transforming experience that teaches me to be open to whatever life brings. I will welcome each day as a teacher. ************************************************* ~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~ A great flame follows a little spark. ~ Dante Alighieri ~ Most of us start our recovery with just a little spark of hope. We’re not sure what we’ll find, but pray it will be better than the misery of active addiction. At first, we’re afraid to trust ourselves or others, even those in our recovery program. We may feel like giving up. But somehow we keep that little spark alive. In time, as we find a new way of life, the spark grows. Soon we’re more honest, more true to our own values. We become physically and emotionally healthy again, and make good choices about the people, places and things in our lives. Most important, we regain our spiritual health. We choose a Higher Power, and with His help, we learn to forgive ourselves for yesterday, and move toward a healthier tomorrow. Then, as our spiritual growth and recovery become a way of life, we learn again about the healing power of love. We find healthy ways of loving others and feel worthy of accepting love ourselves. We learn to give again. Now as we look to the future with confidence and serenity, we realize that our little spark has, indeed, become a mighty flame. Today help me to keep the spark of recovery alive and growing. ************************************************** ~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~ I have a right to my anger, and I don’t want anybody telling me I shouldn’t be, that it’s not nice to be, and that something’s wrong with me because I feel angry. ~ Maxine Waters ~ For many people in recovery, anger has been and may still be a problem. If others have lashed out at you through verbal or physical abuse, or you have done the same to others, then you are well aware of how destructive anger can be. Anger can damage relationships, escalate emotions, cause unnecessary stress, and pose health risks. Yet, anger can provide the spark and motivation for taking positive action; many beneficial outcomes have been born out of well-expressed anger. Anger also helps set personal boundaries. It can alert you to something that is not right, protect you, and energize you to take constructive action. While anger may be an emotion that is uncomfortable for you to feel, you can practice becoming more comfortable with anger by releasing it in ways that are not hurtful to others. Express your anger first to your sponsor or a trusted friend. Write about your anger in a journal. Use exercise to decrease its intensity. When you treat anger as an ally, rather than an enemy, you can use it to effect positive change. I will acknowledge my anger and release it in positive ways. ************************************************** ~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~ Consider the postage stamp: its usefulness consists in the ability to stick to one thing until it gets there. ~ Josh Billings ~ We can go to one store and buy an appliance, a shirt, a fishing pole, perfume, shoes, a stereo, and a saber saw. One-stop shopping is convenient, but it has one major drawback. Because of the diversity of products sold, there's no specialization. The sales clerks knowledge about the saber saw and the shirt will probably be about the same—just enough to sell, but not enough to provide in-depth information. If we work on several parts of our personalities at once, we'll be like that clerk. To do our best, we need to spend time, brainpower, and perhaps muscle power on just one task. We need to become a specialist in what we're working on for that moment. If we’re hard at work on many changes in our lives, we'll only be setting ourselves up for defeat. The attention we devote to one change deprives another change of the time and effort it needs. To make a change, we need to become a specialist in that change. Then the change we make will be beneficial and lasting. What is one change I can work on beginning tonight? I will stay focused on that change, giving it my concentrated effort. ************************************************** ~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~ Resolving to stay clean and sober When we first dry out and get clean, it’s a good idea to make ninety meetings in ninety days: Our minds are still in a haze. We need extra meetings and extra support in the very beginning. It took a lot of denial and time to hit bot-tom. To climb back up the hill we’ve just come down, it will take a lot of acceptance and time. Have I made the commitment to staying clean and sober? Higher Power, help me work as hard at staying clean and sober as I did at using chemicals. I will commit myself to staying clean and sober today by God help me to stay clean and sober today! ************************************************** ~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~ Chop wood, carry water. ~ ZEN BUDDHIST SAYING ~ Newcomer In some ways, my life has totally changed. The differences are dramatic. I have different habits, different friends, a different set of values. Still, a lot has stayed the same. I have financial problems, uncertainties about the work I'm doing, and significant relationship issues. Sponsor Your decision to live a sober life and practice a spiritual program has been the basis of a great deal of growth already. There's no reason to assume that you won't continue to make progress as you work on the areas in which your recovery is coming along more slowly. There's probably no one alive who has solved every problem and integrated all the aspects of his or her psyche. Like the rest of humanity, those of us who are in recovery are "works in progress." We continue whether we've achieved enlightenment or not, to perform the same simple daily tasks. As we keep maintaining our spiritual selves, our conscious awareness of what needs changing in our lives becomes clearer. The path to more complete recovery continues to be revealed to us. I do the work in front of me with care today, paying attention to the details. ************************************************** ~ THE EYE OPENER ~ A deep stab wound must heal from within outward, or fresh tissue would grow over the lip of the wound and prevent the necessary drainage from beneath. Blood poisoning would set in and the poison would circulate through the entire body. Human improvement works the same way. If it is only a surface cure, the poison remains in the heart and mind, affecting our entire life, and unless moral surgery is resorted to, our characters become infected. The AA Program is moral surgery, wherein we remove sick and diseased thoughts and actions from deep within ourselves and thus become entirely healed. ************************************************** ~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~ Peace and Justice for All Spirit of the Universe, Lead us from death to life, From falsehood to truth. Lead us from despair to hope, From fear to trust. Let peace fill our hearts, Our world, our universe. Let us dream together, Pray together, Work together, To build one world Of peace and justice for all. ************************************************* ~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~ THE ART OF CONCENTRATION The only subject that matters is getting an understanding of Truth, developing our souls; but in order to develop our souls we must have some knowledge of the power of concentration. If you can learn and practice right concentration, there is no good thing in the universe that you cannot attain. Concentration means literally "bringing to a common center." Until you can put your attention where you want it you have not become master of yourself. You will never be happy until you can determine what you are going to think about for the next hour. First, make your body comfortable, then tell it to be good until you come back for it. Concentration has nothing to do with the muscles, it has nothing to do with the blood vessels. Concentration means thought control. It is purely a mental thing and if you are rightly concentrating you will find that you are actually relaxed. People imagine that concentration means holding on to one thought. The human mind is so constituted that it is impossible to do that. True concentration is a movement of the mind along a predetermined path. Nineteen people out of twenty people who say they have failed in concentration have been trying to stand still mentally. All people do have good powers of concentration, but not when they want them. You always concentrate on what you are interested in. I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me (Philippians 4:13). ************************************************** ~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~ Just Keep Driving The dogs bark, and the caravan moves on. ~ Persian maxim ~ As I was driving around a bend on a country road, a huge dog jumped at the car window and started barking vehemently. After my initial surprise and a moment of fear, I took a breath and realized that I was entirely safe and protected. The dog stayed quite close to the car for a while, but I just kept driving calmly. Soon he could not keep up with the car, and he retired from his chase. I saw our encounter as a metaphor for the way troubles jump at us in life. Suddenly, unexpected beasts seem to lurch at us from out of nowhere, and we may be tempted to become afraid and run or counterattack. The answer, however, is usually very simple: just keep driving. Who you are (a spiritual being) and where you live (deep within yourself) is entirely protected from any passing event. We fuel the upsets of live by getting into the ring and battling them. lf you just keep moving toward your chosen destiny, any worldly difficulty will eventually drop away. You are bigger than anything that bothers you. I love the story in the film Tucker: The Man and his Dream. In 1947 Preston Tucker developed an automobile that was many years ahead of its time, with a range of features that have since become standard equipment. Because his invention posed a threat to other auto manufacturers, he was squashed and falsely accused of crimes. As his trial was being conducted, Tucker doodled. Eventually Tucker was acquitted, and he showed his sketches to his wife—schematic plans for a new kind of refrigerator with the potential to revolutionize the industry. Tucker wasted none of his precious time. Why bother with a trial when you can be creating things that will change the world? Pay as little attention as possible to your troubles, and as much attention as possible to your dreams. You will receive more of whatever you invest your energy in. You are bigger than any dogs that bark as you pass. I pray to keep my vision high. Help me to be true to my dreams. Steadfast in truth, I march on to my destiny. |
September 19
Step by Step “The mental twists that led up to my drinking began many years before I ever took a drink for I am one of those whose history proves conclusively that my drinking was ‘a symptom of a deeper trouble.’ ‘Through my efforts to get down to ’causes and conditions,’ I stand convinced that my emotional illness has been present from my earliest recollection. I never did react normally to any emotional situation.” – Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, “They Lost Nearly All,” Ch 12 (“Freedom From Bondage”), p 544. Today, knowing that my emotional and spiritual sickness preceded my alcoholism, I also know that abstaining from drinking is not enough in my recovery. Drinking was, for me, but a symptom of a “deeper trouble,” and AA has to be worked and climbed step by step to cure that symptom. Without tending to the “deeper trouble,” my recovery will be less sober and more like a dry drunk. Whatever my pre-drinking “deeper trouble” was – fear, anger, shame, loneliness, low or inflated self-esteem, resentment, depression or a diagnosed psychiatric condition – I need to confront and either come to terms with it or let it go. Then, and only then, can I move on with the business of sobriety and serenity. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M. ************************************************** ~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~ LEARN TO ASK I never learned anything talking. I only learn things when I ask questions. ~ Lou Holtz ~ The low self-esteem we had when we began the Program often prevented us from asking questions. It is natural for a newcomer to feel they are not worth the time required of a long-timer to give the advice needed. Many of us were afraid that those with solid recovery would be impatient with beginners. The exact opposite was true. We realized that the experienced men and women in our Program were able, willing and eager to give us the benefits of what they had learned. Our questions reminded them how far they had come, and they were grateful for the reminder. It was only after a time on the Program that we came to believe wholeheartedly in the advice that "you have to give it away to keep it." By asking questions, we allow others to keep it by giving away their answers. It is part of my recovery to admit how much I don't know. Wisdom began when I started asking questions. ************************************************** ~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~ Man must search for what is right, and let happiness come on its own. ~ Johann Pestalozzi ~ We make a mistake when we try to pursue happiness as if it were something we could achieve and hold. Happiness comes and goes. It is a by-product. If we seek to become better men, to fulfill our deeper values, happiness will visit us along the way. On the other hand, to seek happiness as a goal and expect to hold on to it will only bring frustration and self-pity. Our human nature calls us to have goals and values that transcend the limits of our own selves. We feel deep love for our children and we want to be the best father possible. When we fulfill that goal, we feel happy. We have a great love for music or art, and we want to participate in it by creating it or appreciating it. When we fulfill that desire, we feel happy. Hard work is not often thought of as happiness, but its outcome often brings happiness. Today I am working for goals that I believe in. Happiness will come and go along the way. ************************************************** ~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~ Celebrate your life and hear your spirit sing. ~ Elisabeth L. ~ “What’s to celebrate?” some people ask. We all get our fill of the cynics. Their negativity can weigh down our spirits. But we don’t have to let them control how we see our lives or theirs. To keep our own perceptions positive, it helps to detach from the naysayers. We will improve our chances if we consciously focus on gratitude for even the tiny blessings rather than on whatever might be wrong. Becoming grateful is the strongest, safest means of feeling good now that we are abstinent. Not only does it readily alter our mood, but it changes our perspective on every detail of our lives. To be thank-ful rather than “thankless” is a small price to pay for unqualified happiness coupled with serenity. We’ve all known people who radiate a singing spirit. They love life, themselves, and others. We seek out their company. We can be like those people for the travelers sharing our journey. Let’s do it! I will practice gratitude today and be a blessing in everyone’s life. ************************************************** ~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~ I am honored to be called on to help Being a sponsor or support person offers two kinds of benefits. It helps a fellow traveler to recover. And just as importantly, it helps me recover. Being a sponsor or support person (a) teaches me humility by reminding me of where I have been; (b) shows me that the more I give, the more I get; (c) helps me understand myself better. In sum, lending support gives depth and meaning to my recovery. Whenever I receive a call for help, I will honor the request with my best self, my fullest presence. ************************************************* ~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~ Information is a virus that carries freedom. ~ Walter B. Wriston ~ In our recovery from addiction we found that information grants freedom. Before we knew we had an illness called addiction, we thought we were bad people. Then somehow, each of us got the information that there is hope, there is treatment, there is a program for recovery, there is a new life waiting for us. We began moving toward freedom — freedom from alcohol and drugs, freedom from fear, freedom from despair and self-hatred. Our minds constantly process events and tell us who we are. As we learn healthy new ways to live, our minds grow in positive ways, too. We find we’re hungry for knowledge. Gathering information is one reason we continue to go to meetings and read daily meditations — information helps us remain free. It reminds us of where we’ve been and where we are going. And we gain new insight into illness, addiction, and ongoing recovery. Information can bring us freedom. Today I pray that I will always be willing to listen and learn. ************************************************** ~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~ Go to meetings when you want to, and go to meetings when you don’t want to. ~ Author unknown ~ To use the excuse that you have not been able to find any recovery meetings that are right for you is a bit like saying you have not found a word in the dictionary that you like. Whether you live in the city, the suburbs, or in a rural location, there are a variety of meetings and formats. Some meetings are open to anyone who is interested in learning more about addiction. Others are closed, reserved for those who have identified themselves as having a problem with alcohol. Some are gender-specific (men or women only), some are for people of color, and some are for those who are gay. There are discussion meetings that feature dialogue on a particular topic, meetings devoted to a speaker’s story, and meetings that combine reflection on a speaker’s story with open-topic dialogue. There are also Big Book study meetings and meetings that focus on the Twelve Steps. There is no “right” meeting to attend or “right” way to run a meeting. Rather than criticize the meetings you have attended or avoid attending meetings, give another meeting a chance. As it is often said in AA, “Meeting-makers make it.” I will find something worthwhile in any and every meeting I attend. ************************************************** ~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~ When the friendly lights go out, there is a light by which the heart sees. ~ Olga Rosmanith ~ Coming home at night to an unlit house or apartment can be frightening. As we frantically grope for a light switch, we may stumble over tables and chairs that seem to have shifted position in the dark. Yet once the lights go on, we feel an instantaneous burst of relief as we once again view our familiar surroundings. We do not always need bright lights to find our way in the dark. Faith in a Higher Power that watches over us at all times of our lives is our inner light. This light burns as brightly as our belief. If we are filled with fear, doubt, and insecurity, then we will stumble. But if we are filled with faith, hope, and trust, our feet are always secure. If we can learn to trust that light within us, we will no longer be frightened of the night. We will not have such a panicked need to flutter from light to light. We will be secure in ourselves, no matter where we are. Tonight I can remember I am the lighter of my internal lamp. ************************************************** ~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~ Being human We are imperfect, human. To learn, we make mistakes and suffer consequences. This is true for all of us, everywhere. So when we do very human things, it helps if we do not punish ourselves but accept our humanness. We need not judge ourselves as others might, but only as God might judge us, with complete acceptance. Am I learning to accept my humanness? Higher Power, help me to see that my humanness is less a problem than a path. Today I will celebrate my humanness by God help me to stay clean and sober today! ************************************************** ~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~ In the well there is a clear, cold spring From which one can drink. ~ THE BOOK OF CHANGES ~ Newcomer For a little while yesterday, I had an extraordinary experience of happiness. I felt as if I could just be, with no sense of pressure or hurry; everything seemed to happen just as it should. No experience that I had in my days of active addiction was better than this one. I'd like to feel this way all the time. Sponsor Though we can't always have peak experiences, the sense that all is well and as it should be is available to us, if we choose to go there. It's reality, not illusion. In the past, our drug of choice may have brought momentary feelings of peace or connection, but it soon robbed us of more than it gave. Now, having accumulated some time in recovery, we've begun to have a more solid sense of ourselves. We've dropped some of our burden of fear and pressure. Whether in a meeting, meditating, or simply going from one place to another in our day, we relax more easily. We trust that we'll be here again tomorrow, and that things will continue to improve. As our self-centered fear lifts, we see beauty in what is around us. We sense our connection to others and to the Spirit moving through all of us. The gift of a peak experience like the one you've described continues to nurture and transform us even after it has passed. Today, I see myself, others, and the natural world with the eyes of my soul. ************************************************** ~ THE EYE OPENER ~ The cry of the single word "Help" will bring more people to your rescue than a long and eloquent oration of your needs. If the God of your understanding is a personal God, one who has all Godly attributes in infinite quantities, then He knows your needs before your sluggish human intelligence is capable of realizing them. The secret of prayer is not long or frequent appeals in Biblical phraseology but an humble, contrite heart, a hope that expects its plea to be heard. A recognition of the Infinite Love that we acknowledge will do all those things which He, in His wisdom, knows are best for us. ************************************************** ~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~ Make Me Brave for Life God, make me brave for life, Oh, braver than this. Let me straighten after pain, as a tree straightens after rain, Shining and lovely again. God, make me brave for life, much braver than this. As the blown grass lifts, let me rise From sorrow with quiet eyes, Knowing Your will is wise. God, make me brave; life brings Such blinding things. Help me to keep my sight; Help me to see what's right, That out of dark comes light. ~ Author unknown ~ ************************************************* ~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~ SUCCESSFUL CONCENTRATION I do not give exercises to develop concentration. Concentrate on what you are doing at any time, that is the best exercise I know. I remember when I was a boy about twelve years old somebody gave me a perfect peach of a jackknife. It probably weighed quarter of a pound and there was a little saw in it, a little screwdriver, a corkscrew, a thing for getting stones out of horses’ hoofs, and several blades. I carried it for about a year thinking how handy it would be for certain cases that never came up, but it never lost its interest. I could always find, when I was bored, new interest when I took out the jackknife. If you make your search for God your jackknife in that sense, you will get your concentration and you will get your success. Thus will I bless thee while I live . . . and meditate on thee in the night watches (Psalm 63:4, 6). ************************************************** ~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~ Gold In, Gold Out All limitations are self-imposed. ~ Oliver Wendell Holmes ~ Glad in coveralls and galoshes, 61-year-old Cliff Young, a farmer from Australia's outback, seemed an anomaly in the grueling 400kilometer marathon. As the younger athletes mentally psyched themselves to run 18 hours a day and sleep 6 hours a night, they wondered if old Cliff would survive the first day. But then an amazing event occurred. A full day-and-a-half before the lead runners were expected to finish, a 61-year-old foot in rubber galoshes crossed the finish line. Cliff Young completed the race in record-breaking time, 36 hours before men 40 years his junior. No one, you see, had told Cliff that he was supposed to sleep. While the younger men were snoozing, Cliff Young was cruising. Ignorance is bliss when the thing we are ignorant of is limitation. Our mind establishes the reality in which we will live, as well as our subsequent physical experience. We live as large as we think. The next year of the race, several runners broke Cliff Young's record. They adopted his method of running without sleep and gave up their belief system that one had to sleep six hours a night to win the race. When you make up your mind, you make up your life. Be sure that the building blocks of your belief system are the ones you want to be reflected in your experience. In the computer world, the term "G.I.G.O." means Garbage In, Garbage Out. If you program a computer with faulty information, you will receive faulty results. We may also affirm, "Gold In, Gold Out." Feed your mind golden ideas, and your life will be golden. I accept only those ideas that lead me to freedom. I create the life I choose with my sacred thoughts. |
September 20
Step by Step “To most of us, making amends will take the rest of our lives, but we can start immediately. Just being sober will be making amends to many we have hurt by our drunken actions. Making amends is sometimes doing what we are capable of doing but failed to do because of alcohol; carrying out community responsibilities such as Community Funds, Red Cross, educational and religious activities in proportion to our abilities and energies.” – Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, “They Stopped in Time,” Ch 10 (“It Might Have Been Worse”), pp 381-82. Today, I know I owe amends not only for what I have done but for what I didn’t do. If in my drinking days, or even now, I neglected to be a faithful spouse or partner, a nurturing parent, a productive employee or if I have failed to let go of a litany of character defects, atoning for failing to do what I should have done is as important as atoning for what I did do and shouldn’t have. To many people and in many cases, direct amends are not and may never be possible. But I can pray that my strongest and sincerest amend is to work for and remain sober. This is why we, the people of AA, are here. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M., ************************************************** ~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~ CHANGES Change your thoughts and you change your world. ~ Norman Vincent Peale ~ We learn from the Program that all of our lives are made up of changes. Life for us can be like the seasons of the year. The uncomfortable blizzards of winter will pass. Spring brings flowers. Chattering birds fill the air with song where once there was wind, snow, and ice. We know summer will follow spring. We learn to take the bad with the good. Hardships can make us stronger. Suffering cannot last forever. The key is to see life with optimism. We know that the changing of the seasons is like the changes in our lives. When we use the Serenity Prayer, we may occasionally lose sight of its meaning. We need to concentrate on the differences between what we can change and what we can't. I trust and believe that the changes in my recovery life are like the changing of the seasons. They are necessary and good for me. ************************************************** ~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~ Prayer is not asking. It is a longing of the soul. It is daily admission of one’s weakness. ~ Mahatma Gandhi ~ We got into our difficulties because of the ways we managed our desires and longings. When we found ways to easily cool our pain or satisfy our longings, we got hooked on them. After we learned that our controlling and addictive behaviors could make us feel comfortable and bring intense pleasure, we got even more hooked on them. But they quickly proved to be false answers. Now we are a bit wiser, and we strive to avoid those alluring pitfalls. So we daily turn in prayer to our Higher Power. This is the longer, slower approach to managing our desires and longings. Ultimately what we sought in the easy answers was something deeper, more satisfying. Through our spiritual life we find satisfaction to our longings and yearnings. Today I bring my powerlessness to a Higher Power for care and guidance. ************************************************** ~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~ Sharing is healing. ~ Cathy Stone ~ It’s not easy to share the intimate details of our lives. We have guarded our secrets for years. But now it’s suggested that we tell our secrets to people whose names we barely know. That’s certainly not the way we were raised, and listening to others reveal their awful truths startles us initially. However, we can’t help but notice how much better than us other people seem to feel. We eventually understand that the more we open up, the less encumbered we’ll feel by the past. The magic in sharing our experience, strength, and hope with others is hard to define. We simply know that when we do it, we feel relieved of our burden and we help another woman feel less isolated. We have come together because we want to get well. I will make sure I’m not keeping something to myself today that’s causing me pain. Whoever I share it with will be helped too. ************************************************** ~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~ I need to let others help me I have never liked being ill and needing a doctor. Yet here I am, sick again. I wish I didn't need anyone's help or have to trust anyone. But I have a dual disorder and I am slowly realizing that I cannot manage these illnesses on my own. Maybe it's time I stopped resisting and started accepting. If I can't recover alone, I can at least take heart that there are many who can help: not just doctors, but counselors, therapists, case managers, and social workers. And not just professionals, but caring fellow travelers and sponsors in support groups and Twelve Step fellowships. I can be grateful that help is available and that I am not alone. I will pray for the willingness to allow others to help. ************************************************* ~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~ He who smiles rather than rages, is always the stronger. ~ Japanese saying ~ Rage, big angers, and old resentments cause our blood and emotional pressures to rise. There is no comfort or healing in rage against another, only pain and frustration. Nurtured anger has a way of turning back on itself and making us sick inside. Certain cultures even prescribe “forgiveness” as a cure for illness, based on a belief that resentment can make us physically and emotionally sick. Giving up old resentments may feel like saying goodbye to a long-time friend. It may not have been a happy friendship, but at least it was familiar. Letting go of anger may be frightening. But giving up anger doesn’t mean our enemy was right, it only means we are tired of being “married” to that person through pain. It means that we are no longer willing to allow our mind, body, and spirit to be poisoned by the venom of nurtured hurt and anger. And when we let go of pain and anger, we make room for love and joy. Today let me give up my resentments. Help me heal and free my energies for a richer, more productive life. ************************************************** ~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~ Power? It is like Dead Sea fruit. When you achieve it, there is nothing there. ~ Harold Macmillan ~ Once there was a simple man who was jealous of the king’s power. He felt that if he had power greater than the king’s, he would be a happy man. So he observed how the sun rose over everything and had the power to make things grow. So he became the sun and was happy for a few days. But then a dark cloud blocked his light and his ability to oversee the land below. He considered the cloud to be more powerful than the sun, and so he became a cloud. As a cloud he emitted great torrents of water that washed nearly everything away—except for a giant boulder. He considered the boulder to be more powerful than the sun and the cloud, so he became the boulder. He stayed steadfast and unmoving as the boulder. But then the land dried out, and one day a stone cutter came to him and chiseled him into tiny pieces. Your addiction once promised you great power. Now that you are in the program, you understand more clearly how powerless you were to resist the temptation presented by your addiction. You have become stronger than you realize. I have more power in recovery than I did when I was using. ************************************************** ~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~ What [we] usually ask of God . . . is that two and two not make four. ~ Anonymous ~ Wouldn't it be nice if . . . If only . . . What I wish would happen is . . . Imagine if . . . I should have . . . Don't these unfinished statements sound familiar? They usually occur when we're looking away from the reality of a situation to the fantasy of what might have been. We may do the same wishful thinking in our prayers. Do we still ask for our Higher Power to make our parents or child or brother or sister or lover or spouse stop drinking or using drugs? Do we ask for material things? Our Higher Power isn't a fairy godmother sent to us to grant us any wish we'd like. Our Higher Power deals in realities, not wishful thinking. We, too, need to deal in realities when we pray. That way, we have a much better chance of having our prayers answered. How can I make my prayers more real tonight? I can ask for things I know are possible instead of impossible. ************************************************** ~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~ Charting The old saying is true: You can lead a horse to water but you can’t make it drink. It’s the same with addiction and recovery. People can take away our drugs and put us in treatment, but no one can make us clean and sober. When it hurts enough, when we’re scared enough, when we’re sick and tired enough, when we’ve lost enough, then we’ll begin to change. But we have to want to change. It’s the key. What am I willing to do to recover? Higher Power, help me to want what I need, to want what is best for me. I will further my recovery today by God help me to stay clean and sober today! ************************************************** ~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~ Follow your bliss. ~ JOSEPH CAMPBELL ~ Newcomer I want to make a significant change in a certain aspect of my life. There are people around me giving me encouragement, but something in me is still having doubts. Can I do it? Should I try? Will I succeed? Sponsor We didn't get sober merely to do the safe things, the things that we think others expect of us, even the things we previously expected of ourselves. In recovery, we don't have to let feelings of self-doubt or scarcity rule us. We don't have to have a guarantee of what the outcome will be, because we know that we will continue to have the capacity to find creative alternatives. We can move toward becoming the larger, freer people that, deep in our souls, we already know we are. If what we currently view as obstacles were removed, what would we really like to be doing? I have an exercise to propose, one I've found helpful over the years: it makes use of the powerful tool of writing to explore our desires for change and accomplishment. Try making a list of five things that you'd like to accomplish in the next five years, then lists of five things you'd like to accomplish in the next year, month, and week. List not just what you think you can achieve, but what you'd like to achieve. Sign and date each of the lists of five goals. In doing this, you've made a start toward imagining change in your life. Today, I acknowledge my dream. I take one action that moves me closer to it. ************************************************** ~ THE EYE OPENER ~ The troubles of the backwoods mountaineer are just as big and just as numerous to him as yours are to you. They seldom crack up mentally, however, because they have no "experts" to cure them of their present worries by finding things wrong that they never suspected before, thus giving them a brand new crop of worries, We often worry ourselves into the psychiatrist's office and then worry ourselves into another when we get the first one's bill. ************************************************** ~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~ Share Strength Today I will stand up for those who are weak and beaten down, for those who are poor and treated unfairly, and I will speak out for those who have no voice and no home. I shall do this to remind myself that I was once one of them and could yet become one of them. In doing this, I save another and keep myself from my addiction, my weakness. This I pray. ************************************************* ~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~ LIVING TO HIS GLORY If you seem to yourself to be lacking in certain necessary qualities, seek that aspect of God which will meet your lack. If you seem to lack strength, ask God to give you what you need. Remember you can build any quality into your mentality by meditating upon that quality every day. You have created your limited self by thinking and you can destroy it at any moment by thinking a new pattern. Why do we not change from day to day, and week to week, from glory to glory until our friends can scarcely recognize us for the same man or woman? Why should we not march around the world looking like gods, and feeling it; healing instantaneously all who come to us; reforming the sinner; setting captives free? The spirit of the Lord God is upon me; because the Lord hath anointed me to preach good tidings unto the meek; he hath sent me to bindup the broken-hearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives , and the opening of the prison to them that are bound (Isaiah 61:1). ************************************************** ~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~ Rock Formations Do not return evil for evil, but return evil with good. ~ Jesus Christ ~ The driveway to a retreat center I visit in Hawaii is meticulously landscaped with a garden in which a group of large rocks spell out the word Aloha, the Hawaiian greeting of love. One day as I entered the grounds, I was surprised to see that some local vandals had reconfigured the rocks to spell "Fags," as a slur against several gay men who manage the resort. When I pointed this out to one of the managers, he told me, "Some of the locals do that every couple of months." The next day, the rocks were beautifully rearranged into Aloha again. This episode symbolizes how we can deal with negativity when it comes our way. We may take the time and care to make a statement of love and kindness, and then someone may take our gift and try to use it to hurt us. Then we have a choice: We can either retaliate and try to hurt them, or we can reaffirm our stand of kindness. The managers chose not to fight the vandals, but to simply rearrange the rocks with love. Every day, we have many opportunities to rearrange our rocks and decide what message we wish to offer. Even if someone keeps perverting our message, we can keep affirming the truth we wish to establish. Aloha is always more powerful than prejudice. When all else falls away, it is the aloha we will remember. Give me the strength to answer evil with love. I found my actions on the power of love. |
September 21
Step by Step “…(W)e launched out on a course of vigorous action, the first step of which is a personal housecleaning, which many of us had never attempted. Though our decision was a vital and crucial step, it could have little permanent effect unless at once followed by a strenuous effort to face, and to be rid of, the things in ourselves which had been blocking us. Our liquor was but a symptom. So we had to get down to causes and conditions. ‘Therefore, we started upon a personal inventory. This was Step Four.” – Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, Ch 5 (“How It Works”), pp 63-4. Today, courage and honesty to face alcoholism as a symptom of the “causes and conditions” of my addictive personality, and knowledge to treat those causes rather than just the symptoms. Courage, honesty and willingness are the prerequisite of the Fourth Step because, without all three, recovery from addiction cannot be fully realized and may set us up for failure by way of a relapse or simply trading one addiction for another. For many of us, drinking developed after years of hoarding emotional and spiritual garbage, and the pile grew in our drinking days. In coming to the decision that we no longer want and are eager to clean out the garbage, we may be on a solid foundation to make our Fourth Step as thorough as it can be. Grant that we be graced with the courage and strength to make our house as clean as it can be. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M. ************************************************** ~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~ WILLINGNESS Willingness is the key. ~ Anonymous ~ One by one, our disease consumed the many possibilities that filled life. Our addiction ate careers, marriages, homes. We always wanted one more chance, one more opportunity to make it on our own. The disease told us that we were strong enough, smart enough, ready enough to do anything we wanted. It's the only disease that tells us we don't have it. There is only one kind of willingness that will work in the face of this disease of denial: the willingness to take certain Steps and not pick up the first drink or do the first drug; the willingness to admit that the disease had an uncontrollable power over us and that our lives were unmanageable. We were told that if we are honest, we had a chance. We needed to be ready to go to any lengths to put an end to our disease. This was necessary because we lived with a disease that would go to any lengths to kill us. When I let go of my ego's destructive self-will, I began to understand that my growth and happiness are based on my willingness to change for the better. ************************************************** ~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~ For man, autumn is a time of harvest, of gathering together. For nature, it is a time of sowing, of scattering abroad. ~ Edwin Way Teale ~ Autumn is a good metaphor for the Twelfth Step. In this Step we are reaping the benefits of recovery, but it is also important for continued recovery that we spread the word. It is a time to tell our stories and invite others to have what we have found. Nature sustains itself not by hoarding and keeping its bounty locked up, but by generously and prolifically scattering its seeds to the wind. We need to do the same in recovery. The early recoverers who discovered the path that became the Twelve Steps quickly recognized that their own precarious progress required them to tell their stories to other alcoholics. They asked permission from other suffering addicts to be allowed to tell their stories, not to promote their method, but to sustain their own progress. We, too, need to tell other people where we have been and what we have found. Today I will be generous in giving away what I have learned. ************************************************** ~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~ Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive. ~ Anais Nin ~ We are surrounded by women and men who are necessary for our development. That’s a startling revelation perhaps. We don’t even like everybody in our life! How can we need them? But we do. Our Higher Power clearly understands our purpose and our needs, and ushers into our lives those people who will help us grow and change and contribute. It sounds mysterious initially, but when we get accustomed to the idea, we are relieved. Each person will teach us something we need to know about life and about ourselves. Our individual character is growing, changing, maturing. Our understanding of others and our experiences deepens with each unfolding event. The world is ever-changing. By design, not coincidence, we will befriend those people who need us, just as we need them. I am where I need to be. My friends and associates need me as I need them. We are moving and growing in concert. ************************************************** ~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~ I feel joyful I've been struggling over the past several months, first to get sober and then to get stable with my psychiatric illness: So much anger, fear, and frustration so much of the time. But today, I feel grateful. My effort is paying off. I woke up feeling I had a handle on my life. I woke up with a feeling of strength, a feeling that I could accept and deal with whatever life offered me. It was a glow, a surge that said I truly want to be alive—right here, right now I call this glow joy. When I feel joy I will humbly radiate it. I will simply smile. ************************************************* ~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~ I will say of the Lord, He is my refuge and my fortress: my God; in Him I will trust. ~ Psalms 91:2 ~ Spinning our wheels seems to be part of being human, and it is a wise person who can let go of life and trust in the rhythms of time and nature and God. We want so badly to control our lives and solve our problems independently — our upbringing and our culture proclaim this as the highest of ideals. But now we know that control is an illusion. And we remember the times we thought we were most in control as being quite out of control instead. Paradoxically, we are finding that the more we surrender, the more we let go of our own self-will, the more new doors open, and the more choices we have. When we let go, we gain. We are blessed when we come to understand this — when we do the footwork but turn over the outcome. We are blessed when we let go and let God. Today help me do the footwork but let go of the outcome. Help me let go and let God. ************************************************** ~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~ Just because you’re not sick doesn’t mean you’re healthy. ~ Author unknown ~ By definition, an addictive behavior is something that so dominates your thoughts and actions that it becomes a focus in your life. This focus can affect you in ways similar td substance addiction and become just as habit-forming. Take away your ability to engage in something that has become a habit, and you may experience similar symptoms to withdrawal from a substance. Not only will you physically feel the deprivation, but you will also feel it emotionally through mood swings, anger, and depression, and spiritually through an overall sense of emptiness. Whether you view such things as simply part of your personality, as compulsive behaviors that you can stop at any time, or as true addictions, anything that overtakes your life to such an extent that it excludes others or helps you avoid your responsibilities is not good for your over-all health. While your dedication to your job may have brought great financial reward, it may have damaged your marriage or your relationship with your children. While your commitment to exercising every day is laudable, your inability to take a break even when you are exhausted will work against you. Good health requires balance in all that you do. I will pay attention to my behaviors to ensure I have not m placed one addiction with another. ************************************************** ~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~ The great victories of life are oftenest won in a quiet way, and not with alarms and trumpets. ~ Benjamin N. Cardozo ~ How do we know we're getting better? What do we think will happen when we exhibit mature behavior and a positive outlook? Sometimes we may expect too much from recovery. The successes we have and the achievements we make will not be greeted by fanfare and celebration. Sometimes we won't get any recognition. We might even get disapproval for our mature, positive behaviors. It's up to us to recognize our victories. We can celebrate such joyous times with a smile or a nod, by making a notation in a journal, or by sharing it at a meeting or in a telephone call. Victory after victory we will come to realize the most important thing about our achievements is not the recognition but the peaceful, satisfied feeling we have inside. What were my victories today? Tonight I can celebrate these victories with the wonderful feelings of pride, satisfaction, and good self-esteem. ************************************************** ~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~ Choosing the spiritual life As we come into recovery, we have a critical choice to make. We can choose either the spiritual world (the Twelve Steps) or the material world (which we already know hasn’t worked for us). We can choose to live in the spirit or to live in an illusion (part of which was our addiction). We can put our faith in a Higher Power or we can follow (and fear) the opinions of others. We can make a commitment, or we can be passive and withdrawn. Which choice strengthens my recovery? Higher Power, help me to always choose the path that keeps my recovery strong. As part of my spiritual life, today I will God help me to stay clean and sober today! ************************************************** ~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~ Every morning touch the earth. Every night Praise the worms. Listen. ~ CATHERINE RISINGTLAMN MOIRAI ~ Newcomer Sometimes I miss the "good times," before my addiction turned on me. But I also have to admit—although I'm ashamed to—that sometimes I miss the drama and the insanity, too! Sponsor Your honesty always gives me insights about my own feelings in recovery. It may be that the intensity of our cravings and the extreme measures we were willing to take in order to satisfy them made us into dramatic people. Or perhaps it was the other way around: our love of excitement led us to experimentation and excess. Whichever came first, most of us have scorned moderation, taken risks, and lived close to the edge. We've identified ourselves as rebels, misfits, or people whose paths were uniquely difficult. We were attached to those self-images, which went hand in hand with our attachment to our drug of choice. It made us feel special and alive. In recovery, life offers an abundance of situations that require vision and courage. We don't have to imagine or create unnecessary drama to make daily life interesting. Over time, we may even learn to love a more balanced, peaceful life. Today, I acknowledge my addiction to intensity. I keep a sense of balance in my day by taking time to breathe, stop, reflect, and tune into the rhythms of the natural world. ************************************************** ~ THE EYE OPENER ~ If most of us had one wish, we'd wish we hadn't had it. Most of all our difficulties in the past resulted from our persistence in doing what we wished. To us alcoholics our wishes were paramount and everything else was sacrificed in order to accomplish them. From here on in, if we are smart, our wishes will be, not what we want, but a sincere desire to want what God wishes. ************************************************** ~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~ Saving the World Today may my prayers help me realize I cannot control everything. To put the world in order, We must first put the nation in order; To put the nation in order, We must first put the family in order, To put the family in order, We must first cultivate our personal life, We must first set our hearts right. ~ by Confucius ~ ************************************************* ~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~ SPIRITUAL LITERACY The Bible is the most precious possession of the human race. It shows us how to live. It meets everyone on his own level and brings him to God. Nevertheless, its real value lies in our interpretation of it. Hear a Parable: A remote island was inhabited by highly intelligent savages. They had some primitive art and made excellent drawings of animals on the walls of caves. A box was washed ashore containing a number of books, dry and in good condition. The natives were delighted and pored over these pages admiring the odd shapes and patterns made by the letter press—totally unaware of the real meanings behind it all; unaware of the very existence of Falstaff, or Portia, or Hamlet; of Huckleberry Finn, and of the other characters who lived in the books. If you have been reading the Bible without the spiritual interpretation you are in just that position. Ye do err, not knowing the scriptures (Mathew 22:29). ************************************************** ~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~ Abundant Universe There is room at the top for everyone. ~ Anonymous ~ I remember the Saturday afternoon long ago when the ticket-taker at a movie theater handed me a petition to sign against the establishment of cable television. At that time, cable was just an idea, and movie owners feared that if people were able to watch movies at home, they would lose interest in attending the theater. Now cable has become almost as common as telephone, and both theaters and cable (with hundreds of available channels) are booming. In addition, home video is a mega-business, and Pay-Per-View satellite screening is a thriving enterprise. Contrary to the early sense of threat that theater owners felt, cable did not detract from movie business, but enhanced it. The two forms of media were not in competition at all; ultimately they empowered one another. The notion of competition is fear based and has little value in a creative world. There is room in the world for many good ideas. The element that determines your success in a venture is not what the person around the corner is doing, but what you are doing. Invest your work with integrity, caring, creativity, and service, and you are sure to succeed. Eliminate from your mind the notion that someone else can take away your good. You are the source of your life and experience, and everything that comes to you or goes from you is a result of your consciousness. lt is quite literally possible for everyone on the planet to succeed gloriously at whatever their heart calls them to do. I pray to think with You, God. Help me remember that I create my life with my consciousness, and support me to live from truth. I can have it all because I am it all. |
September 22
Step by Step Today, the lifeline has been tossed and the Big Book provided. This is the day I grab onto both. The time for wallowing stops, and it’s time to get to the business of moving on. God help me if I can’t say enough is enough, that I haven’t become disgusted enough with myself, that I obviously prefer life in a gutter. God grant me the anger, even fury, to realize I can’t kid myself any longer just as I stopped fooling everyone long ago – except myself. Today, I’m sick of the pathetic person I awaken to every morning with a hangover, using whatever excuse or justification I can to keep drinking, fed up with the person I am who evokes from most everyone a sigh and shake of the head as if I’m a lost cause. Alright, then! Yesterday, I was a lost cause. Today, I’m angry and fed up enough to grab onto the cause that can restore me. The lifeline of AA has been thrown to me, the Big Book opened. Today, I take up both. Enough is enough. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M. ************************************************** ~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~ SELF-ESTEEM Nobody holds a good opinion of a man who has a low opinion of himself. ~ Anthony Trollope ~ We often hear, "It takes what it takes." Recovery works for those who not only want it badly enough but also know the Program will improve their self-esteem if they work at it. We also know that we cannot succeed unless we follow the Steps of the Program and continue to work with others in every way. To succeed, we have to stop thinking we are less than other people. We tell ourselves we are not unworthy, inadequate, or unable to cope fully with life's problems. We begin to see the glass as half-full, instead of half-empty. We have to get rid of feelings of inability before we can make progress. If we change our thoughts, we change ourselves. By holding a positive attitude based on an honest and realistic self-knowledge of myself, I will continue to build my self-esteem and have the esteem of others. ************************************************** ~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~ Never give in. Never give in. Never, never, never, never, never—in nothing, great or small, large or petty—never give in. ~ Winston Churchill ~ In the Serenity Prayer we seek to accept the things we cannot change and to change the things we can. Many of us have been discouraged by repeated relapses and by overwhelming problems. This is a time when we need to discern between what we can and cannot change. A man with diabetes, after first losing his eyesight and then one leg to his disease, says that he carries on, loving life, because he still chooses to have purpose and meaning. He cannot change his disease; he has to accept it. Our heroes aren’t the guys who had it easy. The greatest heroes are always the ones who battled with discouragement and great challenges. A relapse isn’t the end of the story. We have risked losing everything, including our lives, but if we survived, we never go back to square one. Our past, no matter how dark, is a resource to build upon. If we have relapsed, we don’t lose what we learned in our past time of recovery. We only need to diligently learn from our mistakes and return to what we know recovery still offers. Today I resolve to never give up on life. ************************************************** ~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~ When I am lonely, I try to think of angels. ~ Betty MacDonald ~ We need comfort when we feel lonely. Loneliness is often coupled with fear. We wonder, Can I handle what faces me today? Often we think we can’t. But we don’t ever have to face any situation alone, or handle any painful relationship in isolation. The “angels” who guide and protect us are as close as our thoughts. Twelve Step programs give us the freedom to define our Higher Power in any way that suits us. Believing our Higher Power is an angel satisfies our need to have someone watching over us, protecting us wherever we are, loving us despite our failings. We are nurtured or harmed by the thoughts we carry in our minds. Imagining an angel or a ring of angels to walk us through each day relieves our loneliness and dissipates our fears. I have a friend in my Higher Power. We’ll be together throughout this day. ************************************************** ~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~ I need to take care of the basics In this process of getting abstinent and stable, sometimes I get so discouraged I hardly care about how I look. Sometimes even keeping my body clean and putting on clean clothes don’t seem to matter much. Sometimes I simply don't take care of myself. But I've learned that in everyday recovery from a dual disorder, taking care of basic hygiene really does make a difference. It helps me keep up my self-esteem and it helps me feel more at ease around people. Doing the basics for my body can help me stay balanced, avoid relapse, and generally be happier. I will write down the basic ways I must take care of my body each day and then be sure to include them in my daily recovery plan. ************************************************* ~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~ It would not be better if things happened to men just as they wish. ~ Heraclitus ~ We may have come into recovery silently thinking, "Now I’ll find out how to make everyone change!” Only after hard work and determination do we come to understand that we must be the one to do the changing. We may be willing to change our thinking, but this also requires accepting the responsibilities that go along with that change. Sometimes we will have to accept the hurt as well as the happiness. Self- knowledge gives us great power — it releases us from past actions and gives us the power to make better choices in the present. It is up to us to be responsible and deal with change in a positive way. Change can open many doors in our lives and we need not be afraid of this challenge. Look how much we’ve changed since we got sober. Our bodies and minds are healthy and fit again. And with the help of our Higher Power, we’ve embraced our spiritual selves as never before. All these came from making one positive choice after another. In recovery, we have the power to keep making changes that enrich our lives. Today let me change one small thing in me to make myself a better person. ************************************************** ~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~ We’ll never know the worth of water till the well go dry. ~ Scottish proverb ~ Think of the process entailed in applying for a loan. First you have to fill out an application. Then you must make all of your financial information available. Finally, you must wait until the lending company has assessed the risk involved in loaning you the money. If you have a good credit history and income, your loan will most likely be approved. But if your credit history is not good and you are not making enough money to cover the loan payments, then your application will most likely be denied. So many things in life are determined by a similar process of assessment before approval or disapproval is given. But this is not the way the program works. Nor is it the way your relationship with a Higher Power is developed. In essence, there is no room for excuses in the program or with your Higher Power. You are worthy, even if you think you are not. You are loved, even if you do not love yourself. You are accepted, even if you are not yet accepting of yourself. You are forgiven, even if you have not yet forgiven yourself. And you are approved, no matter how many times you have failed in the past. I will not use any excuses to distance myself from the program or from a Higher Power. ************************************************** ~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~ Live so that you wouldn't be ashamed to sell the family parrot to the town gossip. ~ Will Rogers ~ We may have been brought up to feel a great deal of guilt and shame over the actions of our alcoholic families. As we grew older we may have chosen to act inappropriately toward others so we could continue to feel the guilt and shame that had become so familiar to us. Are we ashamed or guilty about our behaviors today? Chances are we have so improved our attitudes and our self-image that we now act in mature, responsible ways. We may feel quite proud today about the good people we are becoming. Today we may feel a lot less fear about our actions. We may be more confident that we aren't antagonizing people anymore or making a spectacle of ourselves. Tonight we can be proud of who we are and project this pride to others. Tonight I feel I'm on the right path. I'm no longer filled with guilt or shame about my actions. I'm proud of me! ************************************************** ~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~ Seeking truth As addicts, we were sure we knew the truth, but we didn’t. We knew very little about truth but a lot about the lie of addiction. In recovery, we want to find out what is true for us. We do this by listening carefully to others, asking questions, and then slowly deciding for ourselves. Am I seeking the truth? Higher Power, help me to be open to new truths and strong enough to apply them in my life. Today I will be authentic by God help me to stay clean and sober today! ************************************************** ~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~ There is no love apart from the deeds of love; no potentiality of love but that which is manifested in loving. ~ JEAN-PAUL SARTRE ~ Newcomer Sometimes I wonder if I can give or receive love. When I think about my past in active addiction, there was passion and drama, but not a lot of love. There hasn't been much of it in my recovery so far, either. Sponsor What exactly are we talking about when we talk about love? Many of us—and this was certainly true of me—have used this word primarily to describe a fantasy. We imagined that somewhere there was an ideal person who could meet all our needs and make us whole. Love meant rescue or a problem-free relationship. When we didn't find it, we bewailed our loneliness and bad luck. Love is not something that is bestowed on us. We can create it, every day. It grows in each of us as we take actions that affirm our respect and caring for others and ourselves. Love is not limited to romantic encounters, but extends to our daily relationships with other people, including our friends and members of our communities. Love is not in scarce supply. Our acts of kindness and service and our practice of genuine tolerance renew love in the world and in our hearts. Today, I add to the abundance of many kinds of love in my life. ************************************************** ~ THE EYE OPENER ~ We alcoholics had contracted the world until it was no larger than ourselves and our narrow interests. We had few interests that extended beyond our hand or our eye. Everything else was relegated to another world entirely apart from us. It is little wonder that the world gave us no more thought, except for our nuisance value, than they did a man from Mars for, we too, were occupants of another world. ************************************************** ~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~ You Give Me Strength Lord God, thank You for loving me Even when I turn away from You. I am grateful for Your constant care and concern. Though I feel unworthy of Your great love, I thank You that through my weakness You give me strength, And in my wanderings You show me the way. ~ Author Unknown ~ ************************************************* ~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~ FACING TWO WAYS Are you double-minded? Jesus says that a double-minded man is unstable in all his ways, and that such a person need expect nothing from the Great Law. If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him. But let him ask in faith, nothing wavering. For he that wavereth is like a wave of the sea driven with the wind and tossed. For let not that man think that he shall receive any thing of the Lord (James 1:5-7). This is very obvious common sense. If you affirm one thing now, and the opposite in half an hour; if you meditate helpfully and then go downstairs to talk trouble; it is entirely natural that you should fail to influence people with the peace that comes with prayer. If you stepped into a taxi at Grand Central and told the driver to take you to Central Park, and then, after a block, told him to drive you to the Battery and then after a couple of blocks asked him to go to Central Park again, you could hardly expect the driver to land you at any destination. And yet this is what a good many of us do in practice. We affirm both harmony and disharmony until the subconscious mind is completely muddled, and, of course, our lives are in confusion. Where our words and deeds reinforce one another the effect is powerful and the result certain. Where they are not in accord they cancel out, leaving us where we started, or more likely worse off. ************************************************** ~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~ Letters from God Dreams are like letters from God. Isn't it time you answered your mail? ~ Marie Louise von Franz ~ Dreams carry some of the most important messages of our lives. When we sleep at night, the static of the conscious mind is stilled, and Spirit is able to speak to us through symbols, imparting what we are unable to access during our daily activities. An entire world of blessing is available to us in our dreams. There are at least four levels and types of dreams, all of which offer us healing. Some dreams work out unresolved issues from our day. If you underwent a traumatic situation such as an argument or near-miss auto accident, and you did not take time to process it, your subconscious will perform that unraveling for you. Other dreams are prophetic; Universal Mind is giving you a vision of a situation that will or could happen if you stay on your current course. Other dreams allow us to make contact with people we love or need to meet on the inner plane. If there is someone in your life who has passed on, or from whom you have been separated physically, the world of spirit can give you easy access to communicate with them even more deeply that if you had met them physically. Other dreams are inspirational; directly or through a messenger, God brings you love, guidance, and confidence. lf you wake up with a feeling of deep peace in your heart, you have been touched by Spirit on the inner plane. Before going to sleep, prepare yourself to receive the richest gifts in your dream world. Do not eat a heavy meal, watch negative television shows, argue, or stir up your thinking mind with office work. Instead, read uplifting material. Listen to gentle music, or meditate before retiring. As you close your eyes, ask the Holy Spirit and your guides to come to you during your sleep time and bless you with rest, healing, and any information or visions that will help you spiritually. Thank God for your day and the night to come. Happy dreams! Father, be with me tonight. Speak to me through my visions. I am open and receptive to God's guidance and healing. |
September 23
Step by Step “For 18 years, from the age of 21 to 39, fear governed my life. By the time I was 30, I had found that alcohol dissolved fear. For a little while. In the end, I had two problems instead of one: fear and alcohol.” – Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, “Personal Stories,” Ch 9 (“The Man Who Mastered Fear”), p 275. Today, neither fear nor alcohol will be master because I understand now that both are choices – and I choose not to devote any part of today to either. Whether fear came first and triggered my drinking or if my drinking plunged me into fear of virtually everything is of no consequence anymore. Both feed each other, and my participation is required for the exchange to occur. Just as a toddler grows bored with crawling and pushes the challenge to stand on his own, so it is with me: I am tired and bored with my drinking, with fear and it pushing me to the bottle. The time has come to push the challenge to walk again on my own – in sobriety. AA is here to hold my hand. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M. ************************************************** ~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~ PASS IT ON It is well to give when asked, but it is better to give unasked, through understanding. ~ Kahlil Gibran ~ Each of us is equally responsible for the future well-being of our Fellowship. Each of us, having had a spiritual awakening as a result of these Steps, is called on to carry the message to others and to continue practicing these principles in all our affairs. The key to our ever-present renewal as a Fellowship is the fact that we can't stay recovered unless we share our recovery. It is always in our self-interest to pass it on. The sharing we do in our meetings acts like a breeder reactor for recovery. When we're asked to share, we can "pass it on." But we can also "pass it on" by simply understanding even when not asked. In our first meeting, we knew that these people understood what we were going through even without their sharing. That feeling kept us coming back. We knew we were home. The Program has taught me that the price for serenity and sanity is self-sacrifice. I will pass it on. ************************************************** ~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~ To be sensual is to respect and rejoice in the force of life itself and to be present in all that one does, from the effort of loving to the breaking of bread. ~ Phyl Garland ~ Sensuality and sexuality are very spiritual experiences. When we take pleasure in our senses and take joy in life, we reach into the spiritual realm. We enter that realm when we are present in the moment, drinking in the warmth of the bright sunshine, smelling the freshness of the air, savoring the aroma of toast in the morning, relishing good music, or indulging in the good feelings of touch and gentle eye contact. Of course this sensual side can be distorted. Many of us have been so taken with sensuality that we got lost in it. We corrupted our spirituality with bad judgment or abusive behaviors. Now we are growing into good men who love life and respect the wonders of sex and sensuality. We are learning to be present to all sensations, to the very force of life as we experience it, and as adults we are wisely choosing when to indulge in them heartily. Today I celebrate all my senses and seek a happy, healthy sexuality. ************************************************** ~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~ Life has lessons to teach. We can remember them and share them with others, or we can for-get them and have to learn them again. ~ Jan Pishok ~ What we are destined to learn in this life will keep presenting itself until “contact” has been made. Each experience is a minute part of the big picture that’s unfolding. We will receive the information we need, again and again if necessary. Let’s give up our fear about where we are going and how we’ll get there. We are in caring, capable hands. We will get to the right destination on time. In this program we are invited to share with other women what our experiences have taught us. What better way to recall, and thus relearn, what we have been taught, than to tell another about it. Every Twelve Step program is specifically designed to simplify our lives. The Steps coach us through every situation, and they never shame us for needing reminders of our lessons. I will help others through sharing my own experiences today. In the process, I’ll recapture the essence of the lessons I have learned. ************************************************** ~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~ I have new priorities Before recovery I tried to soothe my psychiatric symptoms with chemicals. My first priority was to stop the pain. But instead of dealing with my problems and getting relief, I developed an addiction. In dual recovery I am setting two different priorities that can help me heal: abstinence from addictive chemicals and stability with my psychiatric illness (regardless of which came first in my life). Both issues need attention, both at the same time, because each affects the other. As I deal with my problems, I will get relief. According to the Promises in the Big Book (p. B3), my "whole attitude and outlook upon life will change," and I will "know a new freedom and a new happiness." I will make a commitment to dual recovery by continuing to work with professionals (as needed) and by teaming up with a sponsor and a support person, one for each priority. ************************************************* ~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~ Time is the school in which we learn, Time is the fire in which we bum. ~ Delmore Schwartz ~ When our lives were out of control we often tried to bum the candle at both ends, staying up late drinking or drugging and then trying to hold down a job that required us to get up early. When it came to choosing between the two, we often chose our addiction and called in sick the next day. We made other unhealthy choices, too. We often chose our addiction over loved ones, regular meals and exercise, and prayer and meditation. Now we make new choices. We have the same amount of time we always did, but we seem to get more done, and still have time for relaxation, sleep, and play. We have time for other people, and our Higher Power. As we live our lives in recovery we are discovering something we never expected — that we never stop learning, and that life does get better as we grow older—as long as we grow. Our time in this life is limited, but when we live lovingly in the present, we make the most of every day, growing in strength, wisdom, and love. Today help me choose health each moment, and do what needs to be done. ************************************************** ~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~ Responsibility’s like a string we can only see the middle of. Both ends are out of sight. ~ William McFee ~ Dealing with your addiction can oftentimes present itself as a full-time commitment. It requires your diligence to stay clean and sober, to attend meetings, and to honor the responsibilities you have made in the program, such as by being a sponsor to a newcomer. But sobriety can also present you with great challenges, especially when you have numerous other responsibilities to attend to. If you are a parent, then you need to take care of your children. If you have a partner who is ill, then you need to provide assistance. If you have an elderly parent, then you need to provide care or help with decision making. Added to your family responsibilities are your day-to-day tasks. So it is perfectly normal to feel overwhelmed. You may ask, “How can I do it all—and well?” Sometimes the greatest awakening in the program is realizing how much your addiction has kept your responsibilities in the background. Today presents you with the opportunity to develop greater awareness of these responsibilities so you can begin to address them. Today I will take stock of those things that need my time, attention, and care. I will develop a greater sense of responsibility to others. ************************************************** ~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~ No one can really pull you up very high—you lose your grip on the rope. But on your own two feet you can climb mountains. ~ Louis Brandeis ~ Depending upon people, places, or things to help us live our lives is a sure setup for disappointment and failure. No one person or geographic location or material item can give us answers. None of them can bring us happiness, security, maturity, or faith. We have been given everything we need to find our own answers. Although today may have been filled with questions, we can remember now that we have the tools we need. Our Higher Power has brought people to us who we need to hear. Our path has led us onto a well-traveled road with a foundation of strength. By the Grace of God—and our fellow travelers—we can follow this road to the greatest of heights. How can I use the resources my Higher power gave me to find my own two feet? ************************************************** ~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~ Waking up to life Even in recovery, it is hard for many of us to avoid old habits that keep us from making the most of our lives. For instance, there is love withheld, people and experiences avoided, dreams ignored. Even avoiding pain diminished the richness of life. Now that we have taken back our lives, we can practice living more of it. We can make some changes, accept a few challenges, take some risks. There is so much to be gained. Am I waking up to life? Higher Power, help me to develop the course to embrace my life and make the most of it. Today I will live life to the fullest by God help me to stay clean and sober today! ************************************************** ~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~ New grief awakens the old. ~ THOMAS FULLER ~ Newcomer I've just gotten the news that someone I used to know passed away. I feel a little guilty that I wasn't in closer touch, but beyond that, I'm not feeling much of anything right now. I guess I'm numb. That makes me uncomfortable; I don't like thinking of myself as heartless. Sponsor Numbness can temporarily follow the death of a person or a relationship, even of a job or some other part of our lives. It doesn't mean that we're hard-hearted, but rather that we're not ready to experience our feelings of loss. You've faced so much loss recently, beginning with the loss of your old relationship with your addiction. My father died when I was in my twenties, a time when I was active in my various addictions. In spite of the outward motions of mourning, I felt shut down at his funeral and for a long time afterward. Many years later, eighteen months in recovery I woke up one morning weeping, after a vivid dream about him. Once I had finally given in to the awareness of loss and had experienced the depths of my anger and sadness, it was as if I had finally come to life again myself Though my relationship with him had been a conflicted one, I was free to cherish the positive things he had given me and to embrace that part of him in my life today. The grieving process takes its own time; eventually, we come through it. Today, I accept where I am in the process of grieving my losses. I don't deny death or refuse to grieve. ************************************************** ~ THE EYE OPENER ~ In Step Twelve, we learn that we should "try to carry this message to alcoholics" but only after we have "had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps." Notice, please, that it does not say that we have an "understanding" but it says "spiritual awakening." It takes no English scholar to know the meaning of every one of those two hundred words. A child of ten can grasp what the words actually say, but it is only when we have had this spiritual experience can we understand their full significance. Only when we have this spiritual experience do we fully possess the Program, and unless we possess it, it is certain that we cannot give it away. ************************************************** ~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~ So My Heart Is Quiet Lord, I have given up my pride and turned away from my arrogance. I am not concerned with great matters or with subjects too difficult for me. Instead, I am content and at peace. As a child lies quietly in its mother's arms, so my heart is quiet within me. Psalm 131:1-2 ************************************************* ~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~ THE TIDE FLOWS IN AND OUT We do not make our spiritual unfoldment in a steady straight line. Human nature does not work in that way. No one moves upward in a path of unbroken progress to the attainment of perfection. What happens is that we move forward steadily for a while, and then we have a little setback. Then we move forward again, and presently we may have another setback. These setbacks are not important long as the general movement of our lives is forward. The tide flows in and out. The foremost wave comes in and in, and it seems as though it would never stop until it reached high-water mark—but it does stop, and actually goes back, and if one did not know better he would suppose that that was the end of the matter. But it is not. The tide goes back a little, but not to its old mark, and then it comes on again and this time it makes a higher mark. This mode of progression seems to be general throughout nature. Do not watch the individual waves but keep you, attention on the tide, and all will be well. Then he said unto them, Go your way . . . for the joy of the Lord is your strength (Nehemiah 8:10). ************************************************** ~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~ Enough Is Better Who is a happy man? He who is content with his lot. ~ The Talmud ~ My friend Matt owns a small but successful vegetarian restaurant in Maui. Although The Vegan is small and inexpensively decorated, the humble eatery has earned a vast reputation for its quality food prepared with love. When I asked Matt if he had ever thought of expanding, he told me, “A famous movie star who loves my cooking offered to set me up in Hollywood with mega-bucks backing; he was sure this could become the next trendy L.A. restaurant. I told him, 'No thanks, I like it here. I know my customers, I step outside to enjoy the sunset, and my kids do their homework here and play with their friends next door. I make enough to get by; I have no need to move.’” Matt reminded me that more is not always better, Sometimes enough is better. In our materialistic society, many of us labor under the illusion that if we only had more stuff, we would be happier. But sometimes more stuff would only make us more unhappy. lf you are not happy with what you have, more stuff is probably not going to fulfill you. The outer world can do no more for you than you are willing to do for yourself through your own attitude. Since becoming a homeowner, I have learned a lot about stuff. Buying something is not the end of getting it-it is the beginning. If you have something, you have to take care of it, keep it clean, use it, protect it, fix it, and replace it. To own a car, house, or any item is to enter into a committed relationship. lf you expect it to be there for you, you have to be there for it. lf you are willing to make the commitment, dive in. lf not, you may choose to just be happy with what you have. If it is right for your material world to expand, the universe will arrange it joyfully. If not, you may discover that the sunset is just as beautiful from your backyard as it would be from Hollywood. Help me to live lightly, use wisely, and remember that spirit is more important than matter. I have enough because I am enough. |
September 24
Step by Step ” …I was convinced that I was having a serious mental breakdown. I wanted help, and I tried to cooperate. As the treatment progressed, I began to get a picture of myself, of the temperament that had caused me so much trouble. I had been hypersensitive, shy, idealistic. My inability to accept the harsh realities of life had resulted in a disillusioned cynic, clothed in a protective armor against the world’s misunderstanding. That armor had turned into prison walls, locking me in loneliness – and fear. All I had left was an iron determination to live my own life in spite of the alien world – and here I was an inwardly frightened, outwardly defiant woman, who desperately needed a prop to keep going. ‘Alcohol was that prop …'” – Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, Alcoholics Anonymous Number Three, Ch 4 (“Women Suffer Too”), p 226. Today, with absolute honesty – maybe for the first time – the temperament of my character misguided me to make the choice of alcohol as the prop to shield myself from “the world’s misunderstanding” and all else I wanted to shut out. In shutting out everything, I went to the only place left – within myself. And there lurked the isolation from anything good, and the loss of good leaves only the bad. My choice was to develop and nurture the bad – and it took me to the darkest places of my poisoned emotional and spiritual soul. Today, the temperament of my character can be tempered by the Twelve Steps. Grant me courage and strength to emerge from the bad and look for the good. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M. ************************************************** ~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~ NO SAINTHOOD Life leads never to perfection but always toward it. ~ James Lane Allen ~ Our friends in the Program repeatedly pound into our heads: "We are not saints." The improvement we make in recovery could easily lead us to believe that we may be approaching sainthood. That idea doesn't last past one honest inventory. Old-timers remind us "Don't try to be a saint by Thursday." If we believe we are superior because of our success in recovery, we will find ourselves impossible to live with. We seek spiritual progress rather than spiritual perfection. Perfection is impossible for humans to achieve. Our limitations, as well as our potentials, add to our spiritual growth. Those who have all the answers for themselves and others and reject suggestions or advice are probably headed towards relapse. One of the best pieces of advice for improving myself and my attitude is "Easy Does It." There really isn't anything beyond the very best I can do. ************************************************** ~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~ The remarkable thing is that we really love our neighbor as ourselves: we do unto others as we do unto ourselves. We hate others when we hate ourselves. We are tolerant toward others when we tolerate ourselves. We forgive others when we forgive ourselves. We are prone to sacrifice others when we are ready to sacrifice ourselves. ~ Eric Hoffer ~ Our healing begins within ourselves. We may have deep feelings of low self-esteem. We didn’t grow up believing that we were good. We may carry feelings of guilt for bad choices we made. We may not expect to be loved, and when the love is there, we may not see it for what it is. That is where we must start our recovery. We must treat ourselves with respect, forgive our wrongs, and accept forgiveness. A good man with strong self-esteem doesn’t think he is without fault or superior to others. He knows that he is a mixture of many qualities, good and bad, as all people are. He doesn’t attack his own nature by calling himself stupid. When we learn to treat ourselves with the respect that our creator has for us, our love and respect are reflected in all of our relationships. Today I pledge to be respectful and forgiving toward myself. ************************************************** ~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~ Time spent attempting to change others affords little time for personal change. ~ Georgette Vickstrom ~ We must be willing to change or we wouldn’t be reading these words right now. However, being willing to change is often easier than doing it. One of the biggest changes most of us need to make is learning to let others be who they are, regardless of who we want them to be. Most of us think our lives would be far smoother and more productive if only other people lived up to our standards. How wrong we are! If we could change others as we wish, we would live far less enlightened lives. In fact, we discover opportunities for personal development in our interactions with the men and women who frustrate us so. The irony is that we wish they’d change, but if they did, we wouldn’t experience the growth we deserve. I will enhance my growth today by letting others be who they are and working on myself. ************************************************** ~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~ My Twelve Step meeting is becoming my foundation I stopped using and got sober, but I lost my friends. I wasn't stable yet and I felt like a mess. Often I found myself feeling alone, angry, bored, and sorry for myself. I wondered, How could a Twelve Step meeting help? Nevertheless, I kept going for six weeks—just as the program suggests for newcomers. And then one day I realized the importance of this meeting. First, I can rely on it like no one and nothing else (holidays included). Second, it offers me fellowship with people who share my experience, who understand me, and who care about me. My meeting is the basis of my recovery program and I am deeply grateful. To strengthen my commitment to recovery and my program, I will volunteer to do service at my home meeting. ************************************************* ~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~ The firmest friendships have been found in mutual adversity, as iron is most strongly united by the fiercest flame. ~ C.C. Colton ~ No one is immune from addiction, or its effects—neither young nor old, rich nor poor, black or white, or yellow or brown. Addiction is an equal opportunity disease. So our fellowship attracts all kinds of people. This doesn’t mean we’ll like everyone who walks through the door, but all of us, because we did walk through that door, have a common bond. All of us faced the seemingly-impossible task of turning away from active addiction — and all of us chose recovery over death. We all suffered losses we thought we’d never recover from. But in these rooms, with the help of each other and our Higher Power, we do recover. All of us have struggled to combat self-hatred, shame, and crippling guilt. We still struggle, even today, but we fight the battle with help from each other. Our bond is one of suffering and hope, a spiritual link that is strong enough to carry us for the rest of our lives in recovery. As different as we all are, our fellowship makes us one. Today help me be grateful for my recovery and the fellowship that has brought me to this place. ************************************************** ~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~ It was as if I had worked for years on the wrong side of a tapestry, learning accurately all its lines and figures, yet always missing its color and sheen. ~ Anna Louise Strong ~ In the movie The Blind Side, Leigh Anne Tuohy is a wealthy woman who has welcomed into her home Michael Oher, an impoverished and homeless young man. One of the most poignant scenes occurs when Leigh Anne shows Michael his room. When he says he’s never had one, she assumes he is talking about having his own room. But he tells her it is the first time he has ever had a bed. For Michael, the way in which the Tuohys live is foreign and quite unfamiliar. In staying with the family, what was once normal for him is transformed into a new normal in which he can thrive and grow. Similarly, the program offers you a new normal. You unlearn what you have grown accustomed to before you adopt your new way of living. You engage in soul searching and reflection upon your past to let it go. You look at yourself—perhaps for the first time—with a different set of eyes. You acquire new knowledge about how to live without your addiction. And, by seeing things with greater clarity, you move on to a better place in your life. Today I will embrace the new awareness I have about myself and my addiction. ************************************************** ~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~ Worry is most apt to ride you raged not when you are in action, but when the day's work is done. Your imagination can run riot then . . . your mind is like a motor operating without its load. ~ James L. Mursell ~ Each day we may have full-time activities: jobs, school, family, or hobbies. The hours we spend in those activities are usually focused on the tasks at hand. But when they are done and we're left with free time, we may find ourselves cultivating a new interest: worry. During the day, we are like a train engine. For as long as we stay on the tracks, keeping busy, we move easily. But when the day's activities are done, we are like a derailed engine. The power still makes the wheels spin, but we are going nowhere. We don’t have to be on full speed, going nowhere, as we fill our minds with worry. When the day's work is done on a railroad, the engines are guided onto sidetracks to cool until morning. Tonight we can guide the engines of our minds onto sidetracks of relaxation and rest. We can cool our activities until morning. I don't need to fill my mind with worry tonight. I can rest and relax my mind by bringing peace to my heart. ************************************************** ~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~ Learning It seems as if we’re particularly immature, especially in the early stages of recovery. When we were using, we handled all of our problems the same way: When faced with difficult relationships, we used chemicals. When faced with responsibilities, we used chemicals. When faced with life, we used chemicals. Chemicals took the place of learning experiences. Fortunately, we’re clean and sober now, and we can learn from our problems. We are more mature now that we understand our strengths and weaknesses better, and we know how to work the program to recover. Am I learning from my experiences? Higher Power, help me to be strong (enough) to evaluate and learn from my mistakes. Today I will practice learning by God help me to stay clean and sober today! ************************************************** ~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~ There is no such thing as pure pleasure; some anxiety always goes with it. ~ OVID ~ Newcomer I have a short trip to make, no more than a few days. I've called ahead about meetings; I haven't forgotten that I can use the tools of recovery whether I'm at home or not. But something seems to fill me with dread whenever I have to go anywhere. It's almost as if I expect to die whenever I leave home overnight. Sponsor Some of us have emotional difficulty making any kind of transition. Like you, I used to feel a need to leave my home in what some call "dying condition": closets in order, legal papers in view, no mess for anyone to deal with. A program friend has similar difficulties with transitions, but for a different reason. His childhood was very unstable: the family moved often, and no place was home for long. Today, whether he's packing to leave for a vacation or to return from one, he feels the kind of fear you've described. For years, until he understood the source of his anxiety, he'd somehow manage to involve his spouse in an argument just before they left home. Anger and intensity created a kind of emotional safety net; it let him forget his fear of the transition itself. In time, you may have more insight into what's causing the feelings you've described. Meanwhile you needn't risk numbing them with an addictive substance or behavior. In times of transition, it's important to stick close to the program, as you have, locating meetings and making phone calls. Today, I make transitions smoothly by using the tools of the program. ************************************************** ~ THE EYE OPENER ~ We are all serving a term here on earth, and it is a tough rap for we are not only serving a life term but we are condemned to death in the end. We can set some special privileges for good behavior, however, but even with this it would be a hopeless situation except for the hope held forth in the inspired Book of God. Through this Book we can look forward beyond this prison of Life and visualize the freedom that is beyond. ************************************************** ~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~ Living in the Present One day at a time, This is enough. Do not look back and grieve over the past, For it is gone . . . And do not be troubled about the future, For it has not yet come. Live in the present, and make it so beautiful That it will be worth remembering. ~ Author unknown ~ ************************************************* ~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~ ARE YOU DYNAMIC? Many people think they would like to be what is called dynamic but it does not appear that they always have a very clear idea of what that expression really means. Aggressive and noisy? Bombastic, in manner? A dynamic person is one who really makes a difference in the world; who does something that changes things or people. The magnitude of the work done may not be great, but the world is different because that person has lived and worked. The real secret of a dynamic personality is to believe that God works through you, whatever you may be doing; to put His service first, and to be as sincere, practical, and efficient as you know how. . . . know thou the God of thy father, and serve him with a perfect heart and with a willing mind. . . (I Chronicles 28:9). ************************************************** ~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~ Breathe In the name of God, stop a moment, close your work, look around you. ~ Leo Tolstoy ~ I placed my baby parrot on my desk while I typed, and when I looked over at her I beheld a sight that moved me deeply. I had set her tiny body on a greeting card envelope with a silver foil on the inside of the exposed rear flap. On the foil I could see the condensation from her wispy breath, forming and dissolving as she inhaled and exhaled. The sight touched me so deeply that I stopped and uttered a prayer of thanks. The infant bird's breath reminded me that the breath of God moves through all creation. Every living creature draws life from the universe and gives it back. Metaphysically, breath symbolizes the spirit that animates every creature, from the tiniest insect to the great whales to the whole of the cosmos. Right now, take a few deep breaths. With each inhalation, draw into yourself the wealth of love, and with each outbreath, radiate your life-force back to the universe. If you feel upset or uptight, stop and breathe deeply. Allow the breath to purify you. Today, let your breath remind you that you are loved and that you have a purpose. Receive all that life has to offer, and return it magnified. I accept Your love in the form of inspiration, and give it to the world through my creations. God loves and breathes through me. I am very holy. |
September 25
Step by Step Today, accept myself first in starting to change the things I can – and must. And to change myself, I need the courage and brute honesty to see myself as I really am and not as I want to see myself and others to see me. If I can be strong and honest enough to see in myself what must go and what can be kept, I have to accept the good and bad before I know how to begin the work of moving forward. But if the bad out-weighs the good, I can keep the good as a building block to tear away the bad. If, on the other hand, I accept myself with no improvements needed, I’ve lied to myself. Today, I pray for the courage to change the things I can – me. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M. ************************************************** ~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~ Respect the anonymity of others. ~ Anonymous ~ The spiritual foundation of our Program is anonymity. In the Fellowship we are not Dan the Mechanic, Mary the New Mother, or Linda the Office Manager. We are just Dan, Mary, and Linda. Each one of us has paid a great price to earn our seat around the tables. There is nothing which has cost us so much as our membership in the Fellowship. The miracle of recovery is what occurs within a meeting when we listen to honest stories of changed lives. We remember that what makes it work for us is the common bond of our addiction. We are to take what we need and leave all that we hear and see at that meeting. When we respect the anonymity of others, we respect our own. The people who share with me do so to support their own recovery, not to give me information about themselves. When I protect the anonymity of the Fellowship, I protect my own recovery. ************************************************** ~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~ No one can begin to feel better about oneself until brutal self-honesty prevails. ~ Donna Thompson ~ We have sometimes used words to fool ourselves and fool others. We say “I’ll try” when we really don’t want to face a challenge. Or we say “I’ll think about that” when we simply want to avoid talking about something. Some challenges in life require action. Nothing less will do. Do we say that we will "try” to call our sponsor, or do we call him? Do we “try” to work on a Step for our recovery, or do we work on it? When someone gives us a word of wisdom that we don’t want to hear, do we engage with him, perhaps even tell him it’s hard for us to hear, or do we say “I’ll think about that” just to get him off our back? Today I will not fool myself. I will use words that admit my truth. ************************************************** ~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~ We can trust in the constancy of one thing— time will always move forward, taking us away from the old and gently guiding us to the new. ~ Amy E. Dean ~ It’s human nature to want the pleasurable experiences to last forever and the painful ones to leave immediately. But we can’t move through anything faster than the hands of the clock will allow. A better response to our circumstances, regardless of their flavor, is acceptance that God has put a lesson in them for us and we can’t adequately judge the long-term value of any of our experiences. Nothing lasts forever. The slogan “This too shall pass” promises us the emotional relief we need when times are hard. Time is our friend, always, even when we don’t like the lesson. We do get what we need, when we need it. I am on track. What comes to me today is something my Higher Power says I’m ready for. The time is always right. ************************************************* ~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~ You can’t build a reputation on what you’re going to do. ~ Henry Ford ~ How many times have we told ourselves we’re going to do something — exercise, write a letter, paint the house, quit drinking — but never got around to it? Those around us may have been very impressed with our good intentions, happy we had made a decision to do something. But as time went by and we didn’t do anything, they were less and less impressed. Finally our most sincere promises fell on deaf ears. People no longer believed us. And no wonder. Perhaps we, too, stopped believing in our own good intentions. Some of us may have wondered if we’d ever follow through. But there is good news. Today, we’re not telling ourselves that one of these days we’ll do something about our drinking or using or eating. We’re in recovery. And we’re seeing real progress, real growth in our lives. We’re regaining what we thought was lost forever. We’ve taken the first step toward real, lasting change. In time we’ll find we can make good on our good intentions, and rebuild our trust in ourselves. Today let me feel grateful for the program. Let me see how it has already helped me change. ************************************************** ~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~ I wait for a chance to confer a great favor, and let the I small ones slip; but they tell best in the end, I fancy. ~ Louisa May Alcott ~ No matter the building—from a ranch house to a sprawling mega-mansion to a skyscraper—every structure that Is built to last is made by using a simple piece of string and a weight. Known as a plumb line, this string ensures that construction will take place along a straight line. Without alignment, building materials will not fit together well. Walls will be crooked, the roof line will be uneven, and the structure will not rest firmly upon its foundation. Over time, pressure will build on the un-signed parts, and the structure will either need massive repairs or eventually collapse. Recovery can be seen in much the same way. If you make huge changes, you may find that you have not built the proper foundation. But if, instead, you concentrate on making small changes, you may find that your larger goals become more within reach. Make more small changes, and your larger goals come ever closer. There is both wisdom and benefit to following the slogan “Keep it simple.” By thinking about the small differences you can make rather than concentrating on one huge one, you are creating a strong foundation for future growth. In whatever I do today, I will follow the slogan “Keep it simple.” ************************************************** ~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~ We should think seriously before we slam doors, before we burn bridges, before we saw off the limb on which we find ourselves sitting. ~ Richard L. Evans ~ Many of us have difficult days. People disappoint us. Events or circumstances upset us. Anger may be our sole feeling at such times. Unfortunately, we may act upon that anger hastily by saying things we later regret, by making shortsighted decisions, or even by slamming a door in someone's face. Sometimes a slammed door won't open again. Sometimes people we insult or snap at will back off from us. Sometimes decisions we make in anger and haste cannot be changed—or may take considerable time and effort to undo. Angry moments do not have to erupt into fiery volcanoes. If we learn to sit with our anger awhile until we are calmer and more rational, we can avoid shameful, regretful results. Today's anger does not need to erupt tonight toward any person, place, or thing. Tonight we can let the dust settle and tempers cool while time helps us get things into perspective. We who wait are both wise and mature. How can I use time to help heal the sores of anger? ************************************************** ~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~ Overcoming strong desire Desire—especially strong desire—is a kind of mental fever. It seems to put us in a weaker position. There is desire for money, for power, for prestige, and for mood-altering chemicals. When desire is strong, we operate out of a haze. We lose good judgment. We must never let desire come before our program. Am I dealing with my strong desires? Higher Power, help me to let go of any strong desire that might weaken my recovery. Today I will deal with any of my strong desires by God help me to stay clean and sober today! ************************************************** ~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~ When one has not had a good father, one must create one. ~ FRIEDRICH NIETZSCHE ~ Newcomer I've just had a visit with my family. I knew it might be difficult, but I wanted to go; there was something happening that I wanted to be a part of I knew that it wasn't going to threaten my recovery—no way was I going to pick up my drug of choice. But I was surprised to see how fast my new sense of myself fell apart when I was with them. As soon as I walked through the door, they were asking the old questions, saying what they always say. I felt like their kid again, and not a very happy kid at that. Sponsor It sounds as if this visit took a great deal of psychic energy. I'm glad that you were able to be watchful about your recovery. It also sounds as if you have a desire to stay in contact with family, though right now it involves a lot of effort. Over time, you'll probably notice further changes in yourself when you're in their company. Meanwhile, it sounds as if you're not being too hard on yourself, or on them. After a family visit, it's especially important to parent ourselves in nurturing, loving ways. What we've received from our families may not support our separateness and uniqueness, may not bless us with understanding or unconditional love. Perhaps we've internalized a parent's criticism or withholding and are continuing to experience the effects in our relationships with others or ourselves. Recovery gives us opportunities to identify these patterns and let them go, as we give ourselves unconditional love. Today, I'm a loving parent to myself. ************************************************** ~ THE EYE OPENER ~ Everyone is potentially as good as God made him and the reason that he does not show it is because he has buried the fact beneath a mountain of selfishness. It has ever been man's misdirected efforts to benefit himself and himself alone that have resulted in his greatest disservice to himself. The closer man gets to himself the further away he is from God and the world. The further he is away from God and the world, the further away he is from God's blessings and the world's happiness. ************************************************** ~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~ I Am Weak Lord, I am feeling weak—hear my prayer. Lord, keep me from turning away from You. I don't want to go back under. Let me hear Your voice and feel Your faithful love I put my trust in You, Lord. Keep me from my addiction, show me the way. Teach me Your will. ************************************************* ~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~ ONE THING AT A TIME The present moment is never intolerable. It is always what is coming in five minutes or five days that makes people despair. The Law of Life is to live in the present, and this applies to both time and place. Keep your attention to the present moment, and in the place where your body is now. Do a fair day’s work, and then stop. Overwork is not productive in the long run. A friend of mine was visiting a great cathedral in Italy. Just inside the door was a magnificent mosaic extending the width of the building, but not yet completed. It represented the Last Judgment and the number of tiny pieces of different colored marble involved in it staggers the imagination. A man was on his knees working away and my friend, who spoke Italian, whispered to him, “What a stupendous task you have! I could not even dream of undertaking so much work." The man replied quietly, “Oh, I know about how much I can do comfortably in one day. So each morning I mark out a certain area, and I don't bother my head thinking outside of that space. Before I know where I am the job will be complete." Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself . . . (Matthew 6:34). ************************************************** ~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~ Enjoy the Journey There must be more to life than increasing its speed. ~ Gandhi ~ Years ago, a profound commercial depicted a young black boy in a city ghetto. The now-famous caption reminded viewers, "A mind is a terrible thing to waste." After dealing with my own mind for many years, I would offer this advice: "A mind is a terrible thing to race." The purpose of the mind is to discover and reflect the truth; it is a sacred tool given to illuminate and expand divine wisdom. If we keep our mind cluttered or racing, we miss the beauty that the mind was intended to reveal. Stephen Backart poetically describes the way many of us have attempted to get things done: “He flung himself upon his horse and ran madly off in all directions." What is the use of running in any direction unless the journey is in harmony with the destination? I have fantasized about producing a bumper sticker proclaiming "Going nowhere faster will not get you somewhere." One day after I had moved to Hawaii, I found myself rushing to get to the back before it closed. Driving along a mountain road, I glanced to my left, where I beheld the entire central isthmus of the island, green with sugar cane and bounded by azure oceans on two sides and a verdant mountain range on the other. An inner voice asked, "Is it really worth missing this for the bank?" No, it wasn't worth missing this for anything. One of the most majestic sights on the planet was before me. I could have it all, if I was but willing to breathe long enough to take it in. The beauty of life is right where you are. Remember to enjoy the journey. Help me to be alive to this moment and keep peace in my heart. I walk in balance, ever aware of the presence of love. |
September 26
Step by Step “God willing, we members of AA may never again have to deal with drinking, but we have to deal with sobriety every day. How do we do it? By learning – through practicing the Twelve Steps and through sharing at meetings – how to cope with the problems that we looked to booze to solve, back in our drinking days.” – Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, “They Lost Nearly All,” Ch 13 (“AA Taught Him to Handle Sobriety”), p 560. Today, my higher power’s will and the 12 Steps will steer me from dealing with drinking again because my problem now is not drinking but living sober – living no longer in the problem but being a willing participant in the answer of living sober. In drinking, I experienced the answers that drinking had for me – fear, anger, disgust, regret, loneliness, pain, resentment. In sobriety, the answers aren’t as clear because I either have lived too long in alcoholism or lived most of my life without sobriety. The key to living in the answer instead of the problem is, indeed, the 12 Steps. And if they sometimes lead me to uncertain and even scary places because they are not familiar, I know they cannot be as frightening as the certainty of where drinking will take me again. Today, I choose – because now I have a choice – to live in the solution of sobriety and not in the problem of drinking. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M. ************************************************** ~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~ SEEKING BALANCE Success is living a life that makes a difference. The question to ask is whether or not the world is a better place because of your efforts. ~ Anonymous ~ Most of our errors are small, but they can be very painful. They range from carelessness to excessiveness. The way to a comfortable existence is a balance between overdoing everything and being complacent. Finding a "half-way" point is necessary. Otherwise, we will bounce from self-pity to arrogance. We understand that growth stops if we cannot make up our minds between being grandiose and sitting on the pity pot. We can be troubled by an excess of love as easily as being filled with hatred. All too often, we may say with regret, "I'm killing them with kindness." Inability to find balance in what life offers us may end in our being hurt or very disappointed. When we think problems and their solutions are black or white, either-or, and this or that, we make impulsive choices between only one or two alternatives. This gets us stuck. Unless I practice balance, I will find myself in an emotional tug-of-war between extremes. ************************************************** ~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~ The Lord created me at the beginning of his work, The first of his acts of long ago. ~ Proverbs 8:22 ~ All of God’s creation deserves respect. Many of us have felt that we were bad or worthless, or beyond the reach of genuine acceptance. If we believed in God, perhaps we thought we deserved God’s condemnation more than we deserved grace. Today we are reminded that we are part of creation. God is everywhere in creation and within us. Certainly some of our actions were wrong. Certainly we must be accountable for our bad deeds. But what we do is not who we are. Our deeds are not our spirit. At the core, we are sacred creatures of God. Being accountable is a high and noble thing, and it is one way that we pay respect to ourselves and our God. Today I will respect myself as part of God’s work. ************************************************** ~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~ I used to lament, “I’m drowning in a sea of apathy!” Now I rejoice in real emotion—mine, yours, all of ours. ~ DMG ~ Many of us were used to shutting down our feelings. We gladly used whatever “medication” was at our disposal: alcohol, pills, even food. We weren’t fussy. But emotions need to be acknowledged, so ours never really went away, even though we refused to feel them. They hid. Now they are back. Handling anger, sadness, fear, and even joy takes patience. Feelings indicate what we are thinking. They aren’t necessarily good or bad, but they do influence our actions. Being aware of them, and understanding that they are within our control, helps us accept them, understand them, absorb them, release them. Feelings let us know that we care, that we’re alive and aware of the others in our lives. Let’s use our feelings, not hide them away or let them use us. I prefer joy, but I will acknowledge every feeling that surfaces today. My feelings mirror my thoughts. ************************************************* ~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~ To me, spirituality is taking a bath while reading People Magazine. ~ Laura Davis ~ Feeding our spirit can be an adventure in originality. There are no rules that tell us where and how to meet our deepest spiritual needs. God can be found in a rainstorm, supermarket, or temple. Perhaps an ability to slow down lays the foundation for grace and fulfillment. Our God seems to be closest to us when we relax and let ourselves, other people, and life, be. Stress and worry can block our spiritual channels. What a wonderful opportunity to find ways to relax with a deep “let go,” opening us up to layers of peace and renewal. When we have trouble with our spiritual connection, perhaps we need to look for God in everyday life, even in relaxation and fun. Today let me look for my Higher Power in new places. ************************************************** ~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~ Greed is a bottomless pit which exhausts the person in an endless effort to satisfy the need without ever reaching satisfaction. ~ Erich Fromm ~ Once there was a greedy boy who wanted the biggest of everything. One evening his mother prepared two dinners: one with enormous portions and one with average-sized portions. She purposefully cooked the larger portions so they were not as tasty as the smaller ones. When it came time to eat, the boy saw the biggest slice of meat and requested it. He asked for the biggest baked potato and the biggest ear of corn. His parents began to eat their small but very tasty portions. But the boy’s meal was thick and tough. His potato was cold in the middle. And his ear of com had hard kernels. When it came time for dessert, the boy picked the biggest piece of chocolate cake. But the cake was dry and tasteless, and the boy went unsatisfied. Most people equate greed with money and material objects. But greed can also reflect an insatiable hunger—for love, appreciation, attention, or success. While it is okay to hope and pray for change in recovery, it is not appropriate to want more than others have, to make demands, or to take from others in order to get more for you. There is no room for greed in recovery. Today I will appreciate all that I have been given. ************************************************** ~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~ I will not meddle with that which I cannot mend. ~ Thomas Fuller ~ Sometimes we can effect change. Speaking up about something, suggesting an improvement, or learning a new skill can bring about a longed-for change. But we have to change ourselves first, not anyone, anywhere, or anyplace else. We can take a moment now to think of those people or things we tried to change today. Then we can resolve not to keep trying to cause change or keep wishing things could change. If a button falls off our shirt, we can pick up a needle and thread and sew it back on. But if we see someone on the street without a button, we can’t change that situation. By looking to ourselves and mending our own fences, we won't so likely try to mend the fences of others. Tonight I can think of people, places, and things I cannot change. Then I can resolve to leave them alone and work on me. ************************************************** ~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~ Being open to new ideas Some of us get stuck in the past, in tradition. While there is great wisdom in all who have come before us, that’s not all there is. Even if we believe that there are no new ideas, new writers can help us because they understand our culture, they speak our language. Consider this: At one time—perhaps recently—the Twelve Step program was a new idea to us. Can I be receptive to new ideas? Higher Power, help me see that I will be happier and progress faster if I stay open and flexible in my thinking. To stay open in my thinking today, I will God help me to stay clean and sober today! ************************************************** ~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~ i found god in myself and i loved her i Loved her fiercely. ~ NTOZAKE SHANCE ~ Newcomer I'm beginning to feel less afraid of people. I'm beginning to think that there's a place for me in this world. Sponsor Our journey through Steps Four through Nine makes clear to us that we've had a significant impact on the people we've encountered in our lives. Some of us view this information in its most negative light, focusing only on the need to acknowledge and amend any harm we've done. But there's a further way to experience this information. Our ability to have an effect on others' lives means that we can have a positive effect as well. For many of us in recovery, finding our own voice has been a lifelong issue. Who are we? What do we have to say? Does anything about us make a difference in the world? Active addiction, fear, low self-esteem, and paralyzing anger have kept us from actively exploring these questions. Recovery gives us the opportunity to "stake a claim" in the world without the fear of being crushed. We're here. Something inside us has begun to feel solid and sure. We're entitled to be here, to have desires, to have a voice. Today, I am willing to take up space in the world. I am willing to be seen and heard. ************************************************** ~ THE EYE OPENER ~ Famous Last Words: "If I had one more drink I could cut off." "Lord, get me out this one and I'll never touch another drop." "A glass of beer won't hurt me." "I'm sober, ain't I, I don't need the meetings." The list is too long to go on. We constantly sell ourselves a phony bill of goods and then cry our eyes out when we find we have gypped ourselves, but it wasn't our fault, understand? If the wife hadn't, if the boss hadn't, if, if... ************************************************** ~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~ Humble, Open-Minded, Willing Into Your hands, O Lord, I praise this joy, this sorrow, this problem, this decision. Into Your hands I praise each moment as it comes, each event You send to me. Into Your hands I put this thing I have to do or suffer. Into Your hands this love, this responsibility. Into Your hands this weakness, this defect, this failure, this wrong thing that I have done. And so, finally, into Your hands I place my life as a whole, all that I am; be it done according to Your will. ~ Author unknown ~ ************************************************* ~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~ THE THREE GIF|S In the old fairy tales we were often told that when a little prince was born the fairies came to the christening with gifts. One is tempted to ask what gifts we would choose for ourselves if we had the ordering of such matters. What are the three best gifts that a child could be born with? I suggest the following three: a good constitution, a good disposition, and horse sense. I think that a child endowed with these three qualities would have very few difficulties to meet in life. I put a good constitution first because health is the greatest of all human blessings. On the other hand, people do not always realize how much difference a good disposition makes in oiling the wheels of everyday life. Finally, plain sense. I believe that horse sense, as it is called, is more important than the possession of any kind of mere ability or even great talents. We have all known men and women of the utmost brilliance, who apparently had every gift for success in life, but who, owing to a lack of simple, plain sense, came to shipwreck. Now, supposing you feel that you were not endowed with one or any of these gifts, what can you do? Well, the Jesus Christ teaching tells us that no good thing for which we pray is withheld. If you want any of the above gifts for yourself, pray for it each day, by claiming it; and build it into your character by acting the part in every circumstance that arises. . . . What things soever ye desire, when ye pray, believe that ye receive them, and ye shall have them (Mark 11:24). ************************************************** ~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~ My Other Whole True friendship can occur only among equals. ~ Plato ~ While waiting to be seated at a restaurant, I overheard a customer tell the maître d', "My other half will be here in just a minute." It seems to me that we diminish ourselves by defining ourselves as "a half" when we are in a relationship. Perhaps that is why so many of us have had difficulty maintaining our whole self in a relationship; how can we remember who we are when we trade our wholeness for halfness? Relationships are multiplicative, not additive. lf you believe that you are less than whole and you look for someone else to make you whole, you will only lose, for your premise is faulty. One-half times one-half makes one-quarter, and you end up being even less than when you started. lf you bring yourself as a whole person to another whole person, one times one is still one, and you both remain whole as individuals and as a couple. Most popular songs in our culture keep us small and needy. Nearly every "love" song bemoans our loneliness, wrings our hands over lost love, or celebrates finding the person who finally completes us. Rarely do we hear about whole persons who join with other whole persons to celebrate the riches we already own. Good relationships are built on two individuals walking side by side to the light. The other person is not the object of our happiness, but a partner in adventure. We do not need these other people, but we can certainly enjoy them. They do not have the power to give or take away our good, but they can add depth, color, beauty, reward, and delight to our life. We love them not because they rescue us from the abomination we are, but because they remind us how beautiful we are. In such a golden consciousness, it would constitute blasphemy to define either of us as half, and sacred to acknowledge both of us as reflections of a complete God. Help me to remember and honor my wholeness and that of my partner. True love makes me stronger as I share it. |
September 27
Step by Step "There is a principle which is a bar against all information, which is proof against all arguments and which cannot fail to keep a man in everlasting ignorance - that principle is contempt prior to investigation." - Herbert Spencer " ...(A)ny alcoholic capable of honestly facing his problems in the light of our experience can recover, provided he does not close his mind to all spiritual concepts. He can only be defeated by an attitude of intolerance or belligerent denial. "We find that no one need have difficulty with the spirituality of the program. Willingness, honesty and open-mindedness are the essentials of recovery. But these are indispensable." - Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, Appendices, "Spiritual Experience," p 570. Today, to close my mind to the possibility of a power greater than myself is equivalent to self-absorption and, as such, my recovery program predictably will fail. Not only does a program that focuses on my wants and needs trample the 12th Step to help the alcoholic who still suffers, it is destined for failure. There is humility and gain in service to others if for no other reason than the possibility that higher power exists and can pull me from inside myself and heed the lessons of other alcoholics. In the process, I may learn that what I think is the enormity of my problems is minuscule against the problems of others. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M. ************************************************** ~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~ SPOT CHECKS I'm slipping when I shrink from self-examination ~ Anonymous ~ Working our Program smooths our path to a new way of life. We must keep following the simple instructions outlined in the Steps. One of these is to continue to take a personal inventory and whenever we are wrong, promptly admit it. When we do this Step each day, mole-hills don't become mountains. If we don't continue with spot-check inventories, we allow garbage to build up once again in our lives. We've seen that a buildup of resentment and guilt can lead to trouble. Stinking thinking thrives on this garbage. If we shrink from self-examination, fear creeps back into our lives. Fear pushes out faith. Without faith we lose our recovery. My daily spot-check inventory is one of the important things that keeps my Program working. ************************************************** ~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~ The heart forms itself according to what it loves. ~ Theresa Cerhardinger ~ All great spiritual traditions speak to us about our desires and how we manage them. Their universal wisdom tells us that our handling of our yearnings and attachments affects the kind of person we become. For us addicts and codependents this has special meaning. We may have fallen in love with alcohol, or a drug, or another behavior. As codependents, we also become so committed to the care and control of others that we never develop our own spirit. One man said that alcoholism, at its core, is man’s search for God. Of course, that answer is a false hope that leads to death, not life. The Twelve Steps sprang up as a practical path showing the way to face up to our desires and not be ruled by them. It isn’t easy, but it’s a challenge with human proportions. It’s not something we do once and have it over with. Our lives and our hearts are shaped on a daily basis over time by what we choose to love. Today I am grateful for my freedom to love the people and the things that give life. ************************************************** ~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~ I alone can do it. But I can’t do it alone. ~ Anonymous ~ We’re the luckiest women alive because we don’t have to do anything alone! Whether we have a new assignment to tackle, a new relationship to cultivate, a new boss to please, we’ll never fail as long as we rely on the program, our sponsors, and our Higher Power. That doesn’t mean we won’t have trying times and some failures. But the companionship we need for handling the difficult periods will never be denied us. Perhaps we think it will. Maybe that’s why we try to do too much alone. We didn’t end up in this Twelve Step program as the result of living peaceful, productive lives. We’re here because we got scared. Our lives weren’t working. And they won’t work now if we insist on doing it alone. This is our second chance. Let’s take it. I will seek the support I need from friends and God today. I’ll have a good day because of this. ************************************************** ~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~ I am not "crazy"; I have a dual disorder When I experience symptoms of my psychiatric illness, I feel embarrassed or ashamed—much as with my addiction. I don't want to see anyone or be seen. Often I feel misunderstood and rejected as well. Yet what I need is to feel accepted and understood. I am not certain what the word crazy means to anyone else, but I cannot accept the term. I will not be called "crazy." I am a person who experiences two no-fault illnesses, addiction and psychiatric illness. But first, I am a person—like everyone else. I can become an advocate for myself and others with psychiatric or emotional illnesses, and do something like joining the local chapter of the Alliance for the Mentally Ill. ************************************************* ~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~ What man has made, man can change. ~ Fred M. Vinson ~ Sometimes we find ourselves wanting things to be different right away. When that doesn’t happen, we may feel angry and upset that our needs are not being met, our wishes not fulfilled. Now we’re learning that change doesn’t come from outside us, but from within. When we’re looking for kindness and compassion, we must find it first in our own hearts. When we need order and discipline in our lives, we need to find them within ourselves. In the beginning, taking such an active role may seem strange to us. But in time we come to relish changing our own lives for the better instead of waiting for change to happen. Our Higher Power is always waiting to grant us comfort and support. New things are there for us to learn. Our Twelve Step fellowship has advice, friendship, and love for the asking. We have the time and the tools to rebuild our physical strength. We are not alone. And we are not helpless. We’re learning to look forward to a new and exciting way of life — one day at a time. Today help me remember to help myself. ************************************************** ~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~ When we blame ourselves we feel no one else has a right I to blame us. ~ Oscar Wilde ~ The origin of the word scapegoat can be traced back to ancient times. On the Day of Atonement, people would confess their sins to a holy man, who would then touch the head of a goat and recount the people’s sins. Then the goat would be driven off, symbolically taking with it all of the sins of the people and thus releasing them from their past transgressions. Similarly, if you approach the action of making amends with the expectation that you will be forgiven once you oily you are sorry, then you may be sorely disappointed. 'There may be people you have harmed who will not let you speak to them. Even if they do, they may not be able to forgive you or even accept your apology. Sometimes no amount of restitution can right a wrong. Hut rather than continue to heap more blame upon yourself or slip back into bad behaviors, you need to forgive yourself. Just coming to the realization of the harm you have caused another is the first step to being able to release your “goat” into the wilderness. Even if others will not accept my amends, I will forgive myself for my past transgressions. ************************************************** ~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~ You who are letting miserable misunderstandings run on from year to year, meaning to clear them up some day . . . if you could only know and see and feel all of a sudden that time is short, how it would breath the spell! ~ Phillips Brook ~ The story of the Hatfields and the McCoys is an intense lesson in unforgiveness. Generation after generation honored a long-standing feud. After a while, no one was quite sure how it all started. What seemed more important was how to continue it. Are there people in our lives toward whom we feel bitterness or hatred? Why? Do we remember why our gripe with them started? Does it really matter now? What are the benefits of hanging on to feelings of unforgiveness? It takes so much energy to remain cold and aloof to those people. We can be feeling relaxed and at peace until they walk into a room. Tonight we can ask ourselves if honoring a long-standing feud is wise or just willful. Am I holding on to feelings of anger or bitterness when it would be wiser to forgive and let go? Tonight I can make a wise choice for my course of action. ************************************************** ~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~ Thinking positively Because of our history with alcohol and other drugs, it’s probably a lot easier for us— or a lot more familiar—to think about the negative, to think about our problems, about what’s wrong with us or the world. It’s pretty easy for negative thoughts to lead to more negative thoughts; it’s a lot harder for negative thoughts to lead to positive thoughts. Of course, change is not easy. Let’s not be too simplistic about this, but having an upbeat attitude—thinking positive thoughts—really does help. As tough as it is to do sometimes, if we can concentrate on what’s working for us, or what small but helpful change we made the other day, things will get better. Can I think positively (even when I don’t feel all that positive)? Higher Power, help me to see more of the light instead of—so often—the dark. I will focus on the positive today by God help me to stay clean and sober today! ************************************************** ~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~ It is . . . crucial to claim the good in our lives at an experiential feeling level so that we can become comfortable with it and feel drawn toward accepting and creating more good. ~ TIAN DAYTON ~ Newcomer Someone at a meeting announced that today was her nine-month anniversary. People applauded. I thought that we only clapped for ninety days, or for one year or more. Sponsor In early recovery, I was uncomfortable with many group customs. I didn't understand some of them, and I felt a mixture of envy and resentment at being (as I saw it) left out. The problem was mine. I can feel upset by unpredictable behavior or small changes in routine, perhaps because I want to think that I have some control over what's happening in my life. Customs vary from region to region, group to group, and may take some getting used to. Some groups mark many more milestones in recovery than others. Some hand out commemorative chips. Some present anniversary cakes and medallions, and invite the celebrant or a sponsor or program friend to speak. Ali of these customs are ways to share with each other the news that the miracle of continuing recovery is possible. Our applause celebrates all of us and our shared commitment. How wonderful that this woman wanted to mark today as special. She deserves our congratulations and thanks. We don't reach anniversaries without each other's help. Today, I join in celebrating recovery, my own and others. We are all miracles! ************************************************** ~ THE EYE OPENER ~ For us alcoholics, the First Step in life was the usual toddle of the infant. The Second Step we learned to walk erect like a man, the Third Step, we started to run to keep up with the world, the Fourth Step we were staggering, the Fifth Step was stumbling and falling, and the Twelfth Step found us erect again. What happened between the Fifth Step when we fell and the Twelfth Step? Don't ask me, I'm an alcoholic too, I had probably just blacked out. Watch your steps—they take you places. ************************************************** ~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~ At Night Day is done; Gone the sun From the lake, from the hills, from the sky. May I safely rest, For all is well! God is near. ~ Author unknown ~ ************************************************* ~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~ LION INTO DONKEY The one great enemy of the human race is fear. The less fear you have, the more health and harmony you will have. The only real problem of mankind is to get rid of fear. When you really do not fear a situation it cannot hurt you. Of course, you must remember that fear often exists in the subconscious mind without your necessarily being aware of it. The great thing to remember is that fear is a bluffer. Call its bluff, and it collapses. An amusing incident happened in Holland a number of years ago. A lion escaped from a traveling circus. Not far away a good housewife was sewing near the open window of her living room. The animal suddenly sprang in, dashed by her like a flash, rushed into the hall, and took refuge in the triangular cupboard under the staircase. The startled woman supposed it to be a donkey and, indignant at the muddy prints it left on her clean floor, pursued it into the dark closet among the brooms and pans, and proceeded to thrash it unmercifully with a broom. The animal shook with terror and the angry woman redoubled the force of her blows. Then four men arrived with guns and nets and recaptured the animal. The terrified lion gave himself up quietly, only too glad to escape from that dreadful woman. When the woman discovered that she had been beating a lion, she fainted away. This story illustrates perfectly the demoralizing power of fear. Our good housewife completely dominated the lion as long as she thought he was a donkey, and as long as she treated him as a donkey the lion was in abject fear of her. When she discovered her mistake, the old race fear came back and she still reacted in accordance with the race tradition. . . . He that feareth is not made perfect in love (I John 4:18). ************************************************** ~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~ Real Authority You have no power except what is given you by my heavenly Father. ~ Jesus Christ, to Pontius Pilate ~ I had a landlord in whose presence I felt intimidated. Whenever we interacted, I felt small, defensive, and apologetic. My roommate observed, "Whenever you talk to Martin, you become a little boy; you give your power away to him." Stunned by this accurate assessment, I began to consciously hold my peace and power in Martin's presence. Eventually, I even enjoyed him. We hurt ourselves when we ascribe undue power to another human being. While landlords, police officers, doctors, and attorneys have the authority of their roles, they do not have authority over your spirit. Although we occupy worldly positions, we are all equal spiritually. The words authority and authentic are derived from the same root word. When you are authentic, you proceed from the deepest place of empowerment within you, and your words and actions bear the most effective results. When you do not act authentically, you are not effective because you are moving from a place of fear or emptiness. The Bible tells us that the people respected Jesus because "he spoke with authority." When we tap into our divinity, the true author, God, authorizes us to be authentic and, thus, we bear the highest and only authority. Let me not hide my true power under a cloak of smallness or unworthiness. Everyone is my equal in divine strength. |
September 28
Step by Step “1. – Each member of Alcoholics Anonymous is but a small part of a great whole. AA must continue to live or most of us will surely die. Hence our common welfare comes first. But individual welfare follows close afterward.” – The First Tradition (long form), Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, Appendices, “The Twelve Traditions,” p 565. Today, understand and respect the first tradition of AA, that I am not first and foremost and that my own sobriety and recovery contribute to the effectiveness of the program as a whole. The sobriety and acceptance for which I have worked are not solely mine but mirror AA’s credibility – be it in the eyes of a newcomer or the public and various professional organizations. Because of that responsibility, understand also that the sobriety I have carries a responsibility to it. My responsibility to my sobriety, then, boils down to being in service as the first tradition dictates. If I can effectively serve, I may be contributing to my own welfare which, as the first tradition states, comes a close second. Today, my sobriety is not my own and is part of everyone else’s, and I am responsible to work for continued recovery. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M. ************************************************** ~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~ EXPERIENCE Trust one who has gone through it. ~ Virgil ~ Non-members can be experienced and very helpful in treating addictions and helping us in recovery, but it is very important for us to learn from others in the Program. There is no way to fool another addict. Trust is born when newcomers find they are being helped by another person who has gone through what they are going through. Hope is born when they see that member living a sane and manageable life. Through the Fellowship, we are not alone when we face the problems of recovery. Those who have been in the Program for years and who are enjoying quality sobriety are always close with advice and aid. We trust them because we know that they know. Sometimes we also need to be with our fellow travelers just so we can laugh, play, and be with people. If they can do it, so can I. I am wise to hang around those who know from experience. ************************************************** ~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~ Never look down to test the ground before taking the next step; only be who keeps his eyes fixed on the Jar horizon will find his right road. ~ Dag Hammarskjold ~ When we first learned to drive, we had to develop the skill of fixing our eyes far down the highway rather than immediately in front of the car. In our lives, we also need the bigger picture. When we were caught in our pursuit of immediate gratification and crisis management, we didn’t have time to look at where it was all leading. Now we have a better idea of what our bigger goals are. Larger values guide our choices; we no longer focus only on immediate relief or satisfying today’s appetites. Naming our goals and our deepest values gives us the guidance to steer our course smoothly and become the kind of man we want to be. Today I will name goals and values; and they will ************************************************** ~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~ I’ve finally realized that it’s not happiness we should search for in this life, but the ability to survive life’s stresses. ~ Kay Lovatt ~ We deserve happiness, but focusing on personal happiness as our sole purpose gives us only fleeting satisfaction. Sponsors and friends remind us that helping others find joy and love gives us more lasting happiness than all the selfish pursuits that attract us can give. Our periods of happiness are interspersed with the struggles that come with being human. We might have thought that getting clean and sober would eliminate all our problems, but fortunately that’s not the case. Problems, after all, offer us opportunities to rely on God’s guidance and comfort, and that’s the key lesson most of us need to learn. Twelve Step programs are changing millions of lives. Those of us who rely on them are learning to give to God the “work” that belongs to God, keeping for ourselves only what needs to be done by us. I will not be given anything I can’t handle today if I let God help me. ************************************************** ~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~ I want to stay willing When I finally realized I had to stop using, I knew it would be tough. I didn't want to stop. What would I do when I had symptoms? What would I do with my time? (I felt empty just thinking about it.) Giving up using felt like losing a friend (and I had so few). I thought, Haven't I had enough losses? Can I handle more pain and change? Yet using drugs and alcohol kept getting me into trouble and it kept me sick. And I was finally tired of being sick. Quitting chemicals let my meds work better-as my therapist always said it would-and I felt better. I see now how much it has helped to accept my problem, trust my helpers, and make this critical change. I will pray for the willingness to continue accepting my addiction and. working my program to stay abstinent. ************************************************* ~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~ Sometimes when I’m struggling with a problem, I have to do something else to clear my mind. ~ Anna S. ~ Tossing and turning, wrestling with a problem, can be a dead-end street. Sometimes it’s better to admit our powerlessness and do something different. We can listen to music, read a book, exercise, watch television, take a walk, pray or meditate. Remembering that we’re powerless can help with day-to-day problems, too. We’re powerless over other people’s behavior and over their reactions to us, powerless over the weather, the day of the week, the year, the time the sun rises and sets. We’re powerless over just about everything except ourselves. Tossing and turning, demanding we come up with a solution, is the same self-will we struggled with during addiction. And this self-will is just as dangerous with little problems as it was during our active addiction. But we have new choices now. Thanks to our recovery program, we can turn our thoughts and energies over to our Higher Power and our Twelve Step program. We can let go with trust and serenity. Today give me the strength to let go. Grant me the sense to know when enough is enough. ************************************************** ~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~ The things people discard tell more about them than the things they keep. ~ Hilda Lawrence ~ Writers are known for a particular genre, athletes by the sport they play, actors for the roles they choose. Some-times the nonfiction author wants to write fiction, the basketball player wants to play baseball, the comedic actor wants to play a serious role. With an already established identity, creating a new one requires others to accept a different way of defining someone. You have similarly been pigeonholed by the identity you established in the past. The people in your life who knew you as someone who had a problem with alcohol or drugs may have a difficult time accepting you as a recovering addict. They may have a hard time with the “new you”—a person who is clean and sober, someone who no longer erupts in anger, and someone who is honest, respectful, and responsible. Rather than strive to work harder to convince those who have pigeonholed you into your past identity to accept who you are now, what is most important is that you are able to let go of how you defined yourself in the past, There are those in the fellowship who see and accept you as you are now. I am proud of who I am now, even if there are others who cannot let go of who I was in the past. ************************************************** ~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~ When you have shut the doors and darkened your room, remember never to say that you are alone; for God is within, and your genius is within, and what need have they of light to see what you are doing? ~ Epictetus ~ As adults we may feel very secretive about the ways in which we fall asleep. Some of us may have a night-light in our room, fall asleep to music, or tightly hug a stuffed animal. Each of these ways is designed to make us feel safer—less alone in the dark. None of us is ever alone, especially at night. The methods we use to fall asleep peacefully are good, but we need to remember there are always three angels that guard our sleep. The first angel is our Higher Power. The second is the positive side of our minds that believes in us. The third is the gentle, hopeful spirit within. Whether we know they are there during the day isn't as important as knowing they are there at night. We are at peace in our sleep because they are there to watch over us. I know I'm never alone at night. My three angels are watching over me. I'm safe tonight and every night. ************************************************** ~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~ Keeping the faith For many of us, the spiritual crisis of addiction probably meant an overwhelming loss of faith in ourselves and the world. But in recovery we see that life becomes a lot easier with faith in a Higher Power. For example, failure, loss, and death are no less painful, but with a Higher Power, we don’t feel quite as alone, we don’t feel as if we’ve lost everything. With faith, things seem to have more meaning. Am I keeping the faith? Higher Power, help me to accept my spiritual doubts and still carry on. I will strengthen my faith today by God help me to stay clean and sober today! ************************************************** ~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~ Everybody wants to be somebody; nobody wants to grow. ~ JOTIANN WOLFGANG VON GOETHE ~ Newcomer I went to an anniversary meeting and heard people with five, ten, and even—I couldn't believe it—twenty-seven years in recovery. They all seemed so together and sure of themselves. I wish I had their secret for serenity. I wish I could put my hand up and say, "I have nine years today," instead of nine months. Sponsor I hope that I'll be sitting in the room when you raise your hand to announce nine years of recovery. Today I want to congratulate you for your nine months: it's a significant length of time. Anyone who puts that kind of time together is acting "against the grain": it's more natural for an alcoholic to drink, an overeater to eat compulsively, or a gambler to gamble than for any of us to stay sober or abstinent. I can guarantee that every one of those people celebrating an anniversary of several years was once at a place in recovery that closely resembles your own. All of us have come through fear, doubt, anger, and discouragement. All of us have grown in faith, trust, humor, and confidence. There's no "fast track"; there are no secret solutions. We don't come into this program already knowing how to live a sober life. Everything we have was given to us’ I have a future in recovery; it holds more than I know or hope for today. ************************************************** ~ THE EYE OPENER ~ We have all had the pleasure of knowing intimately several men who might be classed as "Gentlemen of Leisure" and what a squirrel cage they were usually in. They labored all night long to get in jams that required a staff of lawyers all the next day to extricate them. It takes a big man to make effective use of leisure. ************************************************** ~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~ Faith Works God, help me look beyond material things And place my faith in the unseen. For faith saves me from despair For faith saves me from worry and care For faith brings peace beyond all understanding For faith brings me all the strength I need For faith gives me a new vital power And a wonderful peace and serenity. ~ Adapted from Twenty-Four Hours a Day, May 18 ~ ************************************************* ~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~ THE HIDDEN STUDIO We are all engaged in building our consciousness during every waking hour. This work is invisible, silent, and consequently overlooked by the bulk of mankind. Nevertheless, it is the most fundamental and the most far-reaching activity in life. Hour by hour, and moment by moment, we are building good or evil, failure or success, happiness or suffering into our life by the ideas that we harbor, the beliefs that we accept, the scenes and events that we rehearse in the hidden studio of the mind. This fateful edifice, upon the construction of which we are perpetually engaged, is nothing less than our self—our personality our identity on this earth, our very life story as a human being. That wondrous building the spiritual consciousness, is called in the Bible the Temple of Solomon, and we are told two wonderful things about that building. It was built without any noise (and we know that thought is soundless), and it was built upon a rock. And the house, when it was in building, was built of stone made ready before it was brought thither; so that there was neither hammer nor axe nor any tool of iron heard in the house, while it was in building (1 Kings 6:7). . . . be thou my strong rock, for a house of defense to save me (Psalm 31:2). ************************************************** ~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~ Lighten Up Lift is too important to be taken seriously. ~ Oscar Wilde ~ The crowd was packed into the huge lecture hall, eagerly awaiting the arrival of the renowned guru, Swami Satchidananda. His saffron- robed devotees and the secular onlookers maintained a sense of reverence and expectancy. Suddenly, the rear door of the auditorium opened, and there appeared the dark-skinned sage with sparkling eyes and a long white beard. All rose, his disciples bowed, and the yogi was ushered to his plush chair onstage, surrounded by many flowers. The swami took his place, folded his legs into lotus position, closed his eyes, and meditated for a few minutes. Then he opened his eyes and began to speak the long-awaited pearls of wisdom. “This microphone looks like a big cigar in my mouth!" he uttered, and the audience broke into peals of laughter. The surest signs of enlightenment are joy and laughter. While many of us have approached the spiritual path with great sobriety, it is more accurately a path of play and celebration. A Course in Miracles tells us that "the separation occurred when the son of God [and all of us] forgot to laugh." If you cannot laugh about something, you are not healed with that experience. Psychologists note that one of the clearest symptoms of psychosis is an absence of a sense of humor; when we lose our ability to laugh, we go a little crazy. Cultivate laughter as a way of life. To see the humor in a situation is to find a divine viewing point. Laugh often and deeply; it’s the best therapy. Help me to keep my sense of humor; let me remember that nothing is too important. I laugh at life and at myself I lighten my life with celebration and play. |
September 29
Step by Step "12. - ...(W)e of Alcoholics Anonymous believe that the principle of anonymity has an immense spiritual significance. It reminds us that we are to place principles before personalities; that we are actually to practice a genuine humility. This to the end that our great blessings may never spoil us; that we shall forever live in thankful contemplation of Him who presides over us all." - Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, Appendices, "The Twelve Traditions" (long form), pp 567-68. Today, Traditions 9-12, that anonymity of all those in the program is a principle rather than a courtesy. If we can understand that a principle is an ethic that governs AA, any personal grievances we have become insignificant and futile in the goal of our individual recoveries and the effectiveness of the program as a whole. As the 12th Tradition promises, anonymity has the spiritual power for us to be hungry for "genuine humility," or our desire to know and carry out the will of our higher power as we understand Him and not our will. Today, I renew my commitment to respect the 12th Tradition and all others as AA's code of ethics. In the process, God granting, may I know the humility of the principle of anonymity and, maybe more, develop a higher sense of responsibility to my sobriety. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M. ************************************************** ~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~ DEPRESSIONS Don't look down unless you plan on staying there. ~ Anonymous ~ Depressions and setbacks are a part of life for us even when we are solidly active in our Program. We were told early that an addict's highs are always higher than the ordinary and their lows lower. When things begin going wrong (and the law of averages predicts that things will), we can feel depressed even when we compare these lows with the good feelings we experience when we grow spiritually. At times of depression, we can find relief and change our attitude by entering into the caring and sharing of our Program. It is certain that we can never overcome our down times alone and without help. We always remind ourselves that depressions will not fade unless we have the help of others, sometimes professional help. Many are also helped with the blues when they get out of themselves and help others. To handle my depressions and low points, I need the help of my friends in the Program. I can't do it alone. ************************************************** ~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~ Not until we are lost do we begin to understand ourselves. ~ Henry David Thoreau ~ Growth and development never happens in a straight line. Events may surprise and challenge us. A man thinks he is on a path to success and suddenly loses his job. A student takes a challenging class and fails an important test. A professional truck driver is involved in a serious accident. These events that fall into our lives are horrible things to deal with. Yet we have to respond to them. They show us the edge of what we know and force us to push further. It is always the lost feeling that opens us up to grow and learn. When we are lost, it is in finding ourselves again that we grow deeper. Today I accept the challenges I face because I have no other option, and I will use them to shape my growth in a positive direction. ************************************************** ~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~ It is the long stretch of time that gives us our viewpoint. ~ Florida Scott-Maxwell ~ In the heat of an experience, our emotions own us. Hurt feelings, anger, or fear pushes away the rational explanation of what occurred. It’s often not until hours or maybe days later that we understand the dynamics of that moment. Wishing we could gather all the facts immediately is understandable. It might save us from losing control of our emotions. But learning to step back before responding to an experience takes discipline. Hindsight is perhaps our best teaching tool. We can review the past and see how every experience, even the most painful, has added to our development. Trusting that the same will be true of whatever appears on our horizon today relieves us of the need to worry and overreact. Since we know we’ll understand in due time, let’s relax now. I remember some difficult periods that benefited me. If something troubles me today, perhaps I can trust that it, too, is for my good. ************************************************** ~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~ I lose control when I use I realize now that when I use, I forget to take my meds and go to support group meetings. Sometimes I even forget to eat or go to work. Basically I don't seem to care what happens to me. I don't like myself. When I use, my psychiatric illness often gets worse. I'm glad I've stopped using again, and this time I want to stay stopped. I used to think that drugs and alcohol were the only way I could survive. I thought I could use and still manage my life. But I can't. Using only makes me sicker. When I'm using, I'm not taking care of myself. I see now how powerless I am over my addiction. I want to stay abstinent. I think I can. I will ash my support group and my therapist for help in staying clean and sober. ************************************************* ~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~ The best way to forget a problem is to learn something. ~ T.H. White ~ Boredom can be a real problem in recovery. We may spend too much time thinking about our-selves and not enough time thinking about other things. A whole world of knowledge is there for us, ours for the taking. A 77-year-old man told a meeting he’d recently taken up painting with watercolors. He’d never touched a brush before in his life, but thought it might be fun. He got some inexpensive paper, borrowed a few books from the library, and gave it a try. Every sunny morning he went to the park and painted pigeons or squirrels, people walking by, or trees, thoroughly enjoying himself. He soon discovered he could have the time of his life doing something new, learning as he went. That man knew an important secret about life. When we’re feeling down or depressed, feeling that our lives are worn out and over, we can do something different, try something new, learn something, take a chance. Our minds brought us this far in recovery, and a whole world is there for us, if only we reach out for it. Today help me remember all my choices and take advantage of all that life has to offer. ************************************************** ~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~ You receive through the same door through which you give. The way to receive freely is to give freely. ~ Brad Jensen ~ While you know the value of service and giving to others, you may feel as if you have very little to give. Because you live paycheck-to-paycheck, there may be no money you can give to charity. Because every minute of your day is filled with obligations, there may be no time you can devote to a worthwhile cause. Because you are immersed In your recovery, there may be no energy left to assist others. Even if these are your circumstances, there are a number of ways to give to others that may benefit you as well: • Give out five hugs a day. A hug costs nothing. In giving someone a hug, you also receive one in return. • Give someone five minutes of your time. Even if you i are a perpetually busy person, giving someone f your attention for five minutes will not throw your entire day out of whack. • Offer to help someone with a problem. By offering to I listen to what someone else is experiencing, you may find solutions that can help you work through a similar situation in your life. I can be a giving person even though I may have little. I have more to give to others than I think. ************************************************** ~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~ Life can only be understood backwards, but it must be lived forwards. ~ Soren Kierhegaard ~ One of Mark Twain's most interesting writings states we should live life backwards from the age of eighty to the time we were just a gleam in someone's eye. How much more we'd learn, he felt, if we already knew how to live before we had to. We may fantasize sometimes about going back with the tools of the program we're using today to our families, our high schools, or our dating years. It may please us to think of how "together" we would be with such tools, knowing what we know now. But we can't live backwards. Every year we move along in age, experience, maturity, and wisdom. Sometimes we only see such growth on birthdays, when we look back to a year ago at who we were then and who we are now. As our years advance, so do we. Sometimes we need to take a brief look backward in order to see this. Tonight I'll remember that to see my growth all I have to do is look at where I was a year ago. I have advanced in age, but I've also advanced in wisdom and maturity. ************************************************** ~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~ Taking things in stride When we first begin to recover—feel a connection to our Higher Power, work the first three Steps, and begin to change—we might feel grateful, giddy, self-conscious, happy, proud, and special, among others. It may seem odd, but some people may react negatively to us. They may look at us with jealousy, irritation, shame, skepticism, or mistrust. But it makes sense: We’re different and they don’t know quite what to make of us yet. It helps if we can be aware of this and not overreact, just keep up our good work and trust that it will all get resolved in time. Can I have faith and stay focused? Higher Power, help me to relax and take others’ reactions to my changes in stride. I will focus on my own recovery today by God help me to stay clean and sober today! ************************************************** ~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~ You have to give it away in order to keep it. ~ SAYING HEARD IN MEETINGS ~ Newcomer One of the meetings I go to is relatively small. Apparently the same people have been taking various service positions over and over; at every meeting there's a request for volunteers. I've been wondering if I ought to put my hand up and offer to do something. Sponsor Since this is a meeting you like going to, why hesitate to help? Offering to fill a service position not only helps guarantee that the meeting will take place, but also gives you a good reason for showing up at it. Meetings are the core of our sober lives. At the beginning, we don't stop to wonder how the tasks get done: we depend on meetings to be there for us when and where they're supposed to. As we mature in recovery, we become aware that other people have cooperated to make the meeting what it is. Some have found the space and arranged for rental; some are responsible for the treasury and regular payment of the group's expenses. Still others set up the room, make coffee, contact speakers, chair meetings, or buy literature. Commitment to a service position is an important step in recovery. We also give something, of course, simply by showing up, sharing, and listening. Today, I don't take meetings for granted, I help ensure that they happen. ************************************************** ~ THE EYE OPENER ~ We members of AA have a tremendous responsibility. We must in our work discuss the most personal matters with the new guy or gal. This information is given us under desperate circumstances and should be treated as most confidential. Carelessness in this respect can and does do a lot of harm at times. Let us confine our conversations with each other to only that part of the new man's problem that pertains to his actual drinking, because that is the only phase of the problem that we can efficiently advise him on, anyway. These personal matters are matters of trust and they deserve the same confidential treatment as a church confessional. ************************************************** ~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~ Mend Me Lord, help me to right my wrongs. There are so many years of pain and heartache. I seek the words that will help to heal the hearts of those I have broken—there are many. I must mend them without further damaging them. Some heal with each day I remain clean and sober. Others will take more time. Guide me and grant me patience and sympathy for the ones I have hurt and want only to love. ************************************************* ~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~ IMMUTABLE LAW I once came across an old sermon that was delivered in London during the French Revolution. The author said, referring to the Sermon on the Mount: "Surely it is justifiable to hate the Arch-Butcher, Robespierre, and to execrate the Bristol murderer." This pronouncement perfectly illustrates the fallacy that we have been considering. You might just as well swallow a dose of prussic acid in two gulps, and think to protect yourself by saying, “This one is for Robespierre; and this one for the Bristol murderer." You will hardly have any doubt as to who will receive the benefit of the poison. A woman said: "I have a right to be angry" meaning that she had been the victim of very shabby treatment. This, of course, is absurd. There is no one to give such a permit, and if general laws could be set aside in special instances, we should have, not a universe, but a chaos. If you drank a deadly poison inadvertently, you would die because such is the law. For the same reason, to entertain negative emotions is to order trouble—quite independently of any seeming justification that you may suppose yourself to have. Keep thy heart with all diligence, for out of it are the issues of life (Proverbs 4:23). ************************************************** ~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~ A man's heart deviseth the way, but the Lord directeth his steps. ~ Proverbs 41:9 ~ Do you remember the children's game of "Hot and Cold?" In the game, a player would step out of a room while others hid an object. Then the player returned and tried to find the hidden item. As he or she searched, the others would call out, "Getting warmer" when the seeker approached the object, and "Getting colder" when the seeker moved away from it, until the object was found. In the game of life, joy and enthusiasm are the voice of Spirit letting you know that you are "getting warmer." Boredom and fatigue are the universe's clues that you are "getting colder." We are led to our good by the energy of delight. If you are accustomed to relying only on your mind to make decisions, you will become confused and bewildered. The mind is but one component of successful decision making. The other is the heart. One can go only so far using the mind as a tool; eventually the heart must be honored as a source of wisdom and insight. The next time you have to make a decision, ask yourself how you feel about any given alternative. If the direction warms, delights, stimulates, or interests you, it is a sign to step toward it. If the possibility leaves you cold or flat, do not pursue it. The universe will warm or cool you as you move toward, or away from, your objective. Trust the voice of Spirit; it will speak if you will listen. Thank You for speaking to me through the voice of joy. The loving voice of God guides me to my Good. |
September 30
Step by Step “11. – Our relations with the general public should be characterized by personal anonymity. We think AA ought to avoid sensational advertising. Our names and pictures as AA members ought not be broadcast, filmed or publicly printed. Our public relations should be guided by the principle of attraction rather than promotion. There is never need to praise ourselves. We feel it better to let our friends recommend us.” – Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, Appendices, “The Twelve Traditions” (long form), p 567. Today, no “praise” inasmuch as my drinking is concerned, be it years of sobriety or a decision to attend my first meeting tonight. While it is appropriate to give a quick pat on the back for working toward recovery, the overwhelming “credit” belongs to AA without which we have no lifeline to grab and hold onto. If I should boast about my sobriety as my own achievement, if I become complacent in sobriety or if I neglect to do what the program requires I do, I have probably neglected my responsibility to be one of its “success” stories anonymously. Today, I will be stingy in claiming my sobriety as my own accomplishment and instead remember that it’s largely the product of AA. And our common journey continues. Step by Step. – Chris M. ************************************************** ~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~ GROWTH Let each become all that he was created capable of being . . . expand, if possible, to his full growth. ~ Thomas Carlyle ~ Growth is change. It is a necessity in recovery. As our attitudes, actions, and thinking grow, we are aware of the miracle of change in our lives. Our growth becomes evidence of an exciting life. Our growth in character is a result of how well we learn, with gratitude and humility, from experience. Spiritual, emotional, and physical growth becomes apparent when time and experience cause us to be gentle with ourselves. This happens when we use realistic self-criticism as we review our behavior. Long-timers tell us that "you've got to grow or you've got to go." And we don't ever want to go back to what we were. Growth is change. When I am willing to grow spiritually, emotionally, physically, and mentally, I change for the better. ************************************************** ~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~ Chains do not hold a marriage together. It is threads hundreds of tiny threads, which sew people together through the years. ~ Simone Signoret ~ A relationship may begin with love at first sight. Some of us have experienced that feeling many times. But the growth of a relationship is nutured by sharing many experiences and times together. We live through many kinds of events, including the unexpected turns that every life brings. We have enjoyable times together, and we inevitably disappoint each other or frustrate each other. The history we build over time is the storehouse of our lives. Sometimes when a relationship is strained, we easily say to ourselves, I could do better without this; I could find someone else and have a better life. But to walk away from a relationship would be to walk away from a shared history. Some relationships are so toxic that it is better to cut our losses and leave. But usually we are happier when we can repair the wrongs and build upon our history. Today I am grateful for the history I share with my intimate partner. ************************************************** ~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~ Wisdom lets us know that the key is not to judge, but to love and nurture. ~ Jane Nelsen ~ Freeing our minds of judgment is far more difficult than we’d imagined. It often seems our minds fill up by themselves. That’s not true, of course. We cannot always be in control of everything, but we are always in charge of our thoughts. Harboring only loving thoughts may seem beyond our capabilities at first. So did living without alcohol and other drugs, yet we are managing that one day at a time. Nothing is too much for us to handle if we make the effort moment by moment. Making the decision to “think love” is doable. The proof is in the practice. How I feel about myself today is tied to how I decide to feel about others. My love of them will help me love myself. ************************************************** ~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~ I can grow by telling my story In recovery I no longer have to lie to myself or others. In telling my history of addiction and early recovery as honestly as memory allows, I can practice coming to terms with my life, both the downs and the ups. I can show myself how ready and willing and able I am to practice the important principle of honesty. In recovery where I am both emotionally and spiritually safe, I have a chance to get rid of some of the guilt and shame about my life. I take advantage of this opportunity (and challenge) when I am honest about my past in the Fifth Step and honest about my present in the Tenth Step. Today I will practice honesty in my Tenth Step review. ************************************************* ~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~ Nobody’s family can hang out the sign, Nothing the matter here. ~ Chinese Proverb ~ While we were drinking and using, we often found it easy to judge others. It made us feel better to say, “Those people have a lot of problems. I’m glad I’m not like them.” Today, we are much less likely to judge others. We are focused on our own life now. We are busy getting back in shape mentally, physically, and spiritually. We don’t have much time — or much need — to be taking an inventory on other people. And we have learned the benefits of empathy and sympathy with others. Instead of criticizing, we are learning how to reach out and understand others. As we learn to trust ourselves and our feelings, we find we don’t need to hide behind a wall of selfishness. Now, we are learning the spiritual value of hearing and helping others. As the Twelfth Step reminds us, we keep our program by giving it away. Today let me be sensitive to the plight of others. Help me not to judge those in need. ************************************************** ~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~ Memory is the diary we all carry about with us. ~ Mary H. Waldrip ~ Recovery increases your awareness of how you have harmed others. For many, such realization can be a real shock and lead to intense feelings of shame, guilt, despair, and depression. If you stay immersed in such feelings, you may find it hard to move forward. Your emotional baggage from the past will always be with you. If you focus only on the relationships and people you have “broken” as a result of your addiction, you may find it hard to think about anything else. Step Nine offers you an opportunity to remember what you have done to others and to try to repair as much as you can with them—the broken promises, the emptiness and abandonment you caused others to feel, and the relationships and responsibilities you ignored. In doing such things, it is important to keep in mind that there is no guarantee you will able to fix everything in ways that restore happiness and reconnection to those relationships that your addiction damaged. Your actions may not lead to reconciliation or rebuild bridges, but they will help you release some of the emotional baggage that has been weighing you down. I will make direct amends to those I have harmed. I will do so without any expectation of acceptance or forgiveness, but because it is the right thing to do. ************************************************** ~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~ Our main business is not on see what lies dimly at a distance, but to do what lies clearly at hand- ~ Thomas Carlyle ~ "Five years down the road," says Jack, "I want to have a new job, an intimate relationship, and a bigger house. I want to be earning more money and feel better about myself." What nice dreams! But what is Jack doing for himself now? My relationship is not going well," sighs Sarah. "This isn't the first time I've been told I have the same character defects. Someday I really want to make changes and be in a warm, supportive relationship. Then I'll be happy." But how can Sarah expect to have a wonderful relationship if she doesn’t begin her work now? "My family is so messed up," declares Leslie, a parent. "No one communicates. If we had a bigger house we wouldn't argue so much or be so disorganized. When Bill and I start making good money, we can look for that dream house." But when will Bill and Leslie work on the family problems they're having now? Tonight I can begin to see what lies clearly at hand—not a dream or goal years away from now. All I have is right now. Tonight I can build my future foundations by working on me. ************************************************** ~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~ Praying There are different ways to pray and different things to pray about. We can use words or we can pray silently through careful, mindful, spiritual acts. We can pray for our-selves or others, for what we need or want, or we can pray to follow the will of our Higher Power. In fact, we can make a prayer out of most anything we do. The way we do what we do can make most any act a prayer. Am I staying in conscious contact through my prayers? Higher Power, help me to keep prayer, whether spoken or silent, an active part of my spiritual life. I will keep up my prayer life today by God help me to stay clean and sober today! ************************************************** ~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~ We are going to learn a new freedom and a new happiness. . . .We will comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace. ~ ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS (THE AA BIG BOOK) ~ Newcomer I keep hearing people refer to "the Promises." What are they, exactly? Sponsor "The Promises" is the name given to a paragraph that follows a discussion of Step Nine in Alcoholics Anonymous (the AA Big Book). That paragraph affirms that several freedoms will come to us without fail, "if we are painstaking" about the process of making amends. Taking Step Nine with thoroughness and care, the Promises tell us, is the path to freedom from self-pity, self-centeredness, fear, confusion, and a sense of separation from our fellow human beings. One of my favorite sentences in that paragraph is "We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it." When I first read it, it seemed unimaginable. My life was filled with regret. My addiction had helped me to shut out memories of my past life, and had given me still more to regret in the process. But this promise has, in fact, come true for me. Over time in recovery as you work the Steps, the Promises will come true in your life. Today, I have the courage to take a step toward mental and emotional freedom. ************************************************** ~ THE EYE OPENER ~ Our AA philosophy is an idealistic philosophy. It has to be in order to be a happy philosophy. Some may declare that it is too much so, that we ignore more materialistic facts. Let us take from our philosophy all the good and the joy it promises. Let us give our gold no acid test. If our philosophy is unreal and foolish in the eyes of the more materialistic world, then what of it? It enables us to be happier than those that have good sense. ************************************************** ~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~ Traditional Jewish Prayer If my lips could sing as many songs as there are waves in the sea; If my tongue could sing as many hymns as the oceans billows; If my mouth filled the whole sky with praise; If my face shone like the sun; If my hands were to soar in the sky like powerful eagles And my feet run across mountains like a powerful deer; All that would be not enough To pay fitting tribute To You, O Lord my God. ************************************************* ~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~ CUT MY OWN THROAT? A man came to see me in London in great distress. He had attended some lectures I gave, and wanted advice. He was the owner of a general grocery store in a village in the south of England, and hitherto there had been no competition. Now, one of the big chain stores was opening a branch almost opposite to him in the main street, and he was in a panic. He said, "How can I compete with them? I am ruined." I said, "You know the Great Law. You know where your supply comes from. Why be afraid?" He said, "I must do something." I said, "Stand in your shop each morning and bless it, by claiming that divine Power works through it for great prosperity and peace for all concerned." He nodded his head in agreement. I added, "Then look down the street to where they are fitting up the new store, and bless that in the same way." “What? Cut my own throat?" he almost screamed. I explained that what blesses one, blesses all. I told him that he was really hating his competitor (through fear) and that his hatred would destroy him, while blessing the "enemy" was the way to get rid of hate. I finished by saying, "You cannot cut your throat with prayer; you can only improve everything." It took some time to persuade him, but at last he got the idea, and when I met him several years later he told me that his business had been better than ever since the chain store appeared; and that it seemed to be getting on well too. This is what Jesus meant when he said, Love your enemies (Luke 6:27). ************************************************** ~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~ Supermarket Saints We must not, in trying to think about how we can make a big difference, ignore the small daily differences we can make, which, over time, add up to big differences that we often cannot foresee. ~ Marion Wright Edelman ~ Down the road from my house lives a saint. He does not lecture, issue cosmic prophecies, or solicit disciples. He dons not a white robe, but a green, hooded sweatshirt. The master gives blessings not from a pulpit, but from a wheelchair. Paralyzed after a stroke, Raymond sits at the end of his driveway, grinning and waving to every car that passes. He can move only his arm, and he uses it to bless. His daily communion begins when the school buses pass in the morning, and concludes when the buses take the children back home in the afternoon. All the kids know Raymond and wave back. When I pass Raymond, I am usually on my way to an appointment, and my mind is immersed in the busy-ness of life. When I see him, I feel happy; he reminds me that the real business of life is love. It has occurred to me that this man is making a paramount contribution to planetary healing. In his own simple way, he is transforming the world by bringing joy to everyone who passes before him. What greater ministry could one have? Our spiritual life is founded on the spirit in which we act. When evaluating any activity, check in with your heart. How much peace or reward do you feel? Do you carry the spirit of joy through your day? Do you greet the security guard with respect and appreciation? Can you offer a gentle touch to the child who bumps into you in the supermarket? Can you laugh in the face of a business delay? In the end, you will count your good based on the depth of love you generated, not on the amount of time you spent in the office. In the movie Ghost, as Patrick Swayze's character is about to go into the light at the end of his life, he exclaims, "lt's amazing—you take all the love with you." I shall not wait for the afterlife to find heaven. I pray to bring the richest spirit to all that I do. I use every moment to magnify love. |
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