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May 16
You are reading from the book Today's Gift. More majestic than a cardinal, as shining as a pyx. --Gustave Flaubert What in the world is a pyx? If we don't have an expert nearby, we'll have to look in a book. There we'll find it defined, explained, fixed. Now what in the world is love? It doesn't live in a tree or a book, so where in the world do we look? Can we find love in the house, maybe swept under the rug? Can we know the feel of it in our hands, see it written on the lines of faces we know? Does it make a sound--maybe laugh and cry? Does it know how to speak, form words carefully, write letters? Is it only written on the heart? We find love inside us, and our love seeks itself out in others. We find it in the familiar footfall of a brother or sister, the sound of a parent's voice in the next room, and yet, too often we don't express it directly. When we do, our love thrives in all we do together. What does love have to do with the ordinary facts of life? You are reading from the book Touchstones. The work will teach you how to do it. --Estonian proverb We learn this spiritual program as we learned to ride a bike or to swim. We could never get it from reading a book. We only learn it by doing it and by following the example of others. As we first entered the program, we may have thought, "Oh I understand this. In twelve meetings I'll have it licked." Many men have had difficulty trusting, so we try to understand everything before we get involved in it. But as long as we try to figure it out first, we remain on the outside looking in. Doing the practical things in this program - taking inventories and making amends, praying for guidance from our Higher Power, carrying the message to others, selecting a sponsor, will teach us the essentials for spiritual recovery. Today, I will take the risk of learning by living the spiritual life. You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning. It is only the women whose eyes have been washed clear with tears who get the broad vision that makes them little sisters to all the world. --Dorothy Dix The storms of our lives benefit us like the storms that hit our towns and homes and wash clean the air we breathe. Our storms bring to the surface the issues that plague us. Perhaps we still fear a job with responsibilities. Perhaps we still struggle with the significant other persons in our lives. Possessiveness is a particular storm that often haunts our progress. Storms force us to acknowledge these liabilities that continue to stand in our way, and acknowledgment is the step necessary to letting go. Recovery is a whole series of storms, storms that help to sprout new growth, storms that flush clean our own clogged drains. The peace that comes after a storm is worth singing about. Each storm can be likened to a rung on the ladder to wholeness, the ladder to full membership in the healthy human race. The storms make climbing tough, but we get strength with each step. The next storm will be more easily weathered. If today is a stormy day, let me remember it will freshen the air I breathe. You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go. Self Love I woke up this morning and I had a hard time for a while, said one recovering man. Then I realized it was because I wasn't liking myself very much. Recovering people often say: I just don't like myself. When will I start liking myself? The answer is: start now. We can learn to be gentle, loving, and nurturing with ourselves. Of all the recovery behaviors were striving to attain, loving ourselves may be the most difficult, and the most important. If we are habitually harsh and critical toward ourselves, learning to be gentle with ourselves may require dedicated effort. But what a valuable venture! By not liking ourselves, we may be perpetuating the discounting, neglect, or abuse we received in childhood from the important people in our life. We didn't like what happened then, but find ourselves copying those who mistreated us by treating ourselves poorly. We can stop the pattern. We can begin giving ourselves the loving, respectful treatment we deserve. Instead of criticizing ourselves, we can tell ourselves we performed well enough. We can wake up in the morning and tell ourselves we deserve a good day. We can make a commitment to take good care of ourselves throughout the day. We can recognize that were deserving of love. We can do loving things for ourselves. We can love other people and let them love us. People who truly love themselves do not become destructively self centered. They do not abuse others. They do not stop growing and changing. People who love themselves well, learn to love others well too. They continually grow into healthier people, learning that their love was appropriately placed. Today, I will love myself. If I get caught in the old pattern of not liking myself, I will find a way to get out. I begin my day with quiet time, finding peace and serenity in my mediation. I carry those feelings with me wherever I am. If anything happens to disturb this peace, I can stop and spend a few minutes with my breath and regain my serenity. --Ruth Fishel ************************************************** Journey to the Heart What You Believe Is What You Will See We can all things into play by what we believe, what we say, what we envision, what we speak. This is one of the powers we’re learning about. Much of this dance of life, this universal rhythm, is out of our control. But while we don’t choreograph it, we can work within the part that is ours, with the power that is ours. We do this by what we believe. If we believe that we have to fight the entire world, that we’re separate and apart, and that for the most part those we meet will be our enemies, out to hurt us, than that will most probably be true. Our beliefs about what we deserve and who God is will change as we journey through our adventures. But there is also much we can do now to participate in changing our beliefs and creating a more desirable world for ourselves. What are your beliefs? Listen to yourself. Listen to what you think, what you say, how you react. Listen to yourself talk about other people, about what life is really like, and about what always happens to you. Listen to what you say about what you can and cannot do. What you hear yourself say is what you believe. And that is probably what you are used to perceiving as happening. Try believing something different. Try asking the universe and God to help you change and correct your beliefs. Take an active part in creating your world. Say your new beliefs. Say them aloud. Write them down. Believe that you deserve love. Believe that universal love is there for you. And you will begin to see exactly what you believe. ************************************************** More language of letting go Only you can assess what to do It was about my fiftieth skydive. I was determined to master this spinning thing. When my turn came, I went to the door, pulled myself outside, then gave myself the count. Ready, set, go. I released my hold and let myself fall into the air. At first, I fell stable, belly down. Then that dang spinning thing started. I tried to correct my body posture. That didn’t help. The last time this had happened, I had spent so much time trying to correct the problem, I had lost awareness of my altitude. I had gotten obsessed with the problem and lost track of time– not a good thing to do on the ground, and even worse to do while falling through the air. I remembered my jump master’s words: What are you going to do, spend the rest of your life trying to gain control? Instead of making further attempts to solve the problem, I would stop it now. By pulling,, I yanked my rip cord. Instead of hearing that whooshing sound, the one the parachute makes when it opens correctly, I heard a heavy thud. I looked up. I had been spinning so fast when I opened that I had a knotted mess of line twists and a wad of material over my head. I had experienced line twists before– a few twists that could be kicked out with a little effort. This was different. It looked like a Chinese braid over my head. This just isn’t working, I thought. I pulled my cutaway handle, freeing the knotted mass of stuff over my head, then immediately pulled my reserve parachute. It opened sweetly and immediately. I looked at my altimeter. I was at nine-thousand feet. This was going to be a long ride down. About five minutes later, I floated back to the ground. I threw my parachute over my shoulder and tromped back to the student room. When asked what happened, I explained my story. It was full of ” should’s.” I should have been able to stop spinning. I shouldn’t have opened so high. I apologized for what I had done and for the fact that my rented parachute, which I cut away so high, was going to be tough to find. “This wasn’t an ideal situation,” said the manager of the school. “But it’s your life. Only you can decide what to do to save it. It’s up to you and you alone to decide what’s right to do.” Some situations aren’t ideal. Maybe we shouldn’t be in them in the first place and maybe we should have known better. But the facts are what they are. Don’t let shame stop you from taking care of yourself. What are you going to do? Talk to other people. Get opinions. Read books. But it’s your life– your relationship, your financial situation, your job, your home. It’s up to you to decide what’s best for you. You’re the one who will ultimately live with the results of any decision you make. Assess the situation, and decide what’s right for you. Take responsibility for your decisions and for how best to live your life. God, help me stop waiting for others to approve of what I do or don’t do. Guide me in my decision-making and help me trust the choices I make. ************************************************** Looking Deeply The Good in All by Madisyn Taylor We can see the good in all when we come from a place of serenity and looking deeply within. Sometimes we find it difficult to see the good in people, places, or situations that aren’t to our liking. We focus on the things we don’t like in our lives as a way of fueling our efforts to create change. There is nothing inherently wrong with this, and it is one way we make progress. However, if we get too caught up in this way of looking at the world, we lose touch with our ability to sit back and simply say yes to everything on our plates, which is the true starting point for all successful activity. Sometimes what we really need is to encourage ourselves to look deeply into all things in our lives to see the inherent goodness at the heart of everything. At the core of this inquiry is the practice of unconditional acceptance, which can be scary because we feel as if we are being asked not to change the things we don’t like. But when we think this way, we are still operating on the surface of our lives. In order to feel the beauty and warmth of full acceptance, we have to be willing to sink deeper into the stratum underlying the external manifestation of our lives. This deeper place of being is the origin of all lasting change, yet its paradox is that when we are in it, we often don’t feel the need to change anything. From this place, we experience the pure beauty of the process of being alive, and we see that all things change in their own time. We don’t need to force anything. If there are things that we do need to change, from this place of serenity we create the shift easily, our hands guided by an energy that resides at the very center of our hearts. In our active, goal-oriented culture, we learn to distrust stillness and to engage in busywork on the surface of life. This tendency can blind us to the good that lies at the heart of all things. But all we have to do to see again is stop for a moment, let go of our preconceptions and our agendas, and settle into the very center of our hearts, remembering that it is only from here that we can truly see. Published with permission from Daily OM ************************************************** A Day At A Time Reflection For The Day Many of us in The Program share the memory that we originally drank or used other chemicals to “belong,” to “fit in,” or to “be a part of the crowd.” Others of us fueled our addictions to “get in” — to feel, at least for a short time, that we fitted in with the rest of the human race. Sometimes, the chemicals had desired effect, temporarily assuaging our feelings of apartness. But when the chemicals’ effects wore off, we were left feeling more alone, more left out, more “different” than ever. Do I still sometimes feel that “my case is different?” Today I Pray God, may I get over my feeling of being “different” or in some way unique, of not belonging. It was this feeling that led me to my chemical use in the first place. It also kept me from seeing the seriousness of my addiction, since I thought “I am different. I can handle it.” May I now be aware that I do belong, to a vast fellowship of people like me. With every shared experience, my “uniqueness” is disappearing. Today I Will Remember I am not unique. ************************************************** One More Day Life is a series of experiences, each one of which makes us bigger, even though it is hard to realize this. – Henry Ford During these most devastating periods f our lives, it is hard to recognzie that we will, in the long run, benefit from the experience. As we live through painful or trying times when we are barely surviving, we certainly are not aware of growing or of learning something. Yet, in the more quiet times of our lives, when we’re not in pain or just hanging on by a thread, we can see that , yes, I did learn this or, indeed, that event did force me to grow. Chronic illness is no different from other crises, and we are able to inventory ourselves and see healthier attitudes and stronger character as results of what we’ve experienced. I will take time today to list the ways in which some “bad” experiences have helped me become a better or more mature person. |
May 17
You are reading from the book Today's Gift. Growth is the only evidence of life. --John, Cardinal Newman We should be thankful we can never reach complete serenity. If we could, we would never have the need to improve ourselves. We would stop growing, because there would be no reason to learn any more than we already know, and we would become bored. Even the things which seem so serene in nature usually contain a struggle within. A lake, with a swan gliding slowly across it, seems a perfect picture of serenity. But, unseen below the surface, fish, turtles, and frogs struggle each day for survival. The important thing is to accept the struggles as a part of the beauty of life, not as blemishes on it. What struggles shall help me grow better today? You are reading from the book Touchstones. What sort of God would it be who only pushed from without? --Goethe Oh, we hate to be pushed! We get upset and angry when someone is pushing on us. What man likes it? Sometimes God does pushing, and it takes a while for us to realize it is God's pressure on us that we feel. Our natural reaction is to resist and push back. When we keep getting headaches or stomachaches, maybe we should listen for the message. An unsettled feeling in our lives about women, money, health, work, or something else may carry a message for us. God might be pushing from within. In this program we try to develop our ability to hear God's will for us. Sometimes a problem is, in fact, a spiritual message. When we stop resisting and start listening, we soon grow wiser and stronger. God, your message is not always clear to me. Today, I will try to put aside my own habit of pushing back so I can have a clearer mind to receive it. You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning. Loving allows us to live and through living we grow in loving. --Evelyn Mandel Many days it seems too easy to be centered on ourselves, wondering if others love us rather than loving others. On those days, we may have to act "as if" we love the persons who live on our pathways. The unexpected gift is that we do begin to feel both love and loved. Living becomes easier, and so does loving. Acting "as if" is a good way of learning those behaviors that don't feel natural. And in time, acting "as if" is necessary no more. I can behave in any way I decide to. I can choose to think about others, and love them. I can choose to forget myself, today. You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go. Boundaries Sometimes, life and people seem to push and push. Because we are so used to pain, we may tell ourselves it doesn't hurt. Because we are so used to people controlling and manipulating us, we may tell ourselves there is something wrong with us. There's nothing wrong with us. Life is pushing and hurting to get our attention. Sometimes, the pain and pushing are pointing toward a lesson. The lesson may be that we've become too controlling. Or maybe were being pushed to own our power to take care of ourselves. The issue is boundaries. If something or somebody is pushing us to our limit, that's exactly what's happening: were being pushed to our limits. We can be grateful for the lesson that's here to help us explore and set our boundaries. Today, I will give myself permission to set the limits I want and need to set in my life. Today I know that with every in-breath I am breathing in powerful healing energy. And with every out-breath I am letting go. I am letting go of all anxiety, all stress...all negativity that is standing in the way of my feeling good about myself. --Ruth Fishel ************************************************** Journey to the Heart Happiness Is Within Reach What we need to be happy is a question we often forget to ask ourselves. Is there something you could do for yourself that would make you happy, put a spring in your step, a smile in your heart? Many of us haven’t asked ourselves this question enough. Some of us haven’t asked it at all. Or if we have, we haven’t answered it. Instead we diligently search for our path, for the way through our lives, through our current situation or circumstance, never taking time to ask ourselves what would make us happy and what would feel good to us. Then we wonder why life feels so hard, so difficult and unrewarding. Discovering what would make us happy can help us through any difficulty in life. It can help us through the quieter moments of our day. It can help us make larger, more significant decisions. It can help us in our work. Especially if we look in our hearts and answer honestly. What would make you happy? It’s a simple question, but one with profound consequences. Asking and answering that question, then acting on it, is often our path– a path that will lead to the next step, a path that is in our best interests. We will be choosing our destiny. And the destiny we’re choosing is joy. What would make you happy? Ask yourself often. Think about your answer. You may well find that the answer is within reach. ************************************************** More language of letting go Sometimes it takes a lot to say when At times we say when with relative ease. We say, “No thanks,this isn’t right for me,” and we walk away. There are other times when it’s harder to set a boundary or enforce a new limit or decision with people. Jan and Patrick had a tough time saying when to their grown daughter, Elizabeth. Elizabeth had moved out of the house. She wanted her independence. But she still wanted her mom and dad’s money. She would make deals with them– help me buy this car, or put this deposit on an apartment, then I’ll pay you back. Then she wouldn’t keep her part of the bargain. Mom and Dad continued to send money, even though they had threatened, warned, and tried to deal with the situation in a rational, loving way. They didn’t want to alienate their daughter. And they didn’t want her suffering, which is what Elizabeth claimed she would do if she was “cut off.” One day, Jan and Patrick sat down with the calculator. They figured out how much support they’d been contributing to Elizabeth’s life. They decided it was time to shut off the money supply. “The only time she called was when she wanted money anyway,” Patrick said. “Jan and I figured that there wasn’t much left of the relationship to lose.” They gave Elizabeth a three-month warning. The money faucet was shutting off on this date. When that date arrived, the money stopped. A few days later, Elizabeth called back, ranting and raving. She said not only she, but all her friends, thought her parents were despicable for not helping her out, the way good parents should. “The guilt I felt was overwhelming,” Jan said. “But I also knew that was one of Elizabeth’s favorite tricks. She used our guilt to control us. It was painful. Setting this boundary, this limit, took most of our energy for that entire year– the year of cutting Elizabeth off financially, pushing her out of the nest.” It’s now been a few years since Jan and Patrick set that boundary. Elizabeth has taken financial responsibility for herself. She didn’t starve, nor did she go homeless. She was much more resourceful than her parents believed. Jan and Patrick still send her gifts, still take her out for dinner, but they no longer support their grown daughter financially. Their relationship with their daughter has shifted onto new ground. Conversations are no longer about money. Saying when can be uncomfortable for the person saying it, and for the person hearing it. It sometimes involves more than an immediate decision or reaction; it involves a lifestyle change for the people involved. You may need to stand behind your when with focus, dedication, and commitment. Don’t expect it to be easy to say when and mean what you say. Leave room for other people to have their emotions about your boundaries; give yourself room to have some feelings,too. God, grant me the energy and commitment to say when and stand behind it. ************************************************** Exercising Flexibility Mind Stretching by Madisyn Taylor When we are flexible we allow for situations we could not have planned and so the world continues to surprise and delight us. Flexibility is the capacity to bend without breaking, as well as a continual willingness to change or be changed in order to accommodate new circumstances. People with flexible minds are open to shifting their course when necessary or useful; they are not overly attached to things going the way they had planned. This enables them to take advantage of opportunities that a more rigid person would miss out on. It can also make life a lot more fun. When we are flexible, we allow for situations we could not have planned, and so the world continues to surprise and delight us. Since reality is in a constant state of flux, it doesn’t make sense to be rigid or to cling to any one idea of what is happening or what is going to happen. We are more in tune with reality when we are flexible. Being in tune enables us to adjust to the external environment and other people as they change and grow. When we are rigid or stuck in our ways, instead of adjusting to the world around us we hunker down, clinging to a concept of reality rather than reality itself. When we do this, we cut ourselves off from life, and we miss out on valuable opportunities, as well as a lot of joy. Just as we create flexibility in our bodies by stretching physically, we can create limberness in our minds by stretching mentally. Every day we have the opportunity to exercise our flexibility. We can do this in small ways such as taking a different route home from work or changing our exercise routine. On a larger scale, we can rearrange the furniture or redo a room in our house. If these are things we already do regularly, we can stretch our minds by imagining several different possibilities for how the next year will unfold. As we do this, our minds become more supple and open, and when changes come our way, we are able to accommodate and flow with the new reality. Published with permission from Daily OM ************************************************** A Day At A Time Reflection For The Day If we felt guilty, degraded or ashamed or either our addiction itself or the things we did while “under the influence,” that served to magnify our feelings of being outcasts. On occasion, we secretly feared or actually believed that we deserved every painful feeling: we thought, at times, that we truly were outsiders. The dark tunnel of our lives seemed formidable and unending. We couldn’t even voice our feelings and could hardly bear to think about them. So we soon drank or used again. Do I remember well what it used to be like? Today I Pray May I remember how often, during my days of using chemicals, I felt alone with my shame and guilt. The phony jollity of a drinking party or the shallow relationships struck up at a bar could not keep me from feeling like an outsider. May I appreciate the chance to make new friends through the fellowship of the group. May I know that my relationships now will be saner, less dependent, more mature. Today I Will Remember Thank God for new Friends. ************************************************** One More Day When you did another out of trouble, you find a place to bury your own. – Anonymous When acting the way people expect us to, we may help others, but does it really come from the heart? Frequently people act not out of compassion or caring, but because that’s how they feel others will expect them to behave. When helping others in a completely unselfish manner, we need no kudos from anyone, for we have no ulterior motive other than helpfulness. Willingness to assist other people with their problems crates soe freedom from our own. I will know I have become less selfish when I don’t have a moment’s hesitation before helping another human being. |
May 18
You are reading from the book Today's Gift. He that cannot forgive others breaks the bridge over which he must pass himself; for every man has need to be forgiven. --Thomas Fuller We have all seen adventure movies in which the heroes or villains are caught on a bridge that collapses. As they fall to whatever lies below, they are perhaps able to climb to one side or the other. But for the time being, their ability to cross between the two sides is gone. When we have been hurt by people in our lives, or when we have hurt others, mutual forgiveness is needed in order to rebuild the trust between us. It is very much like rebuilding a bridge--one piece at a time. We take cautious steps at first--testing the safety and strength of our bridge. When two people have become separated by loss or anger, it is forgiveness that can rebuild the bridge between them. Forgiveness needs time and so does the rebuilding of trust. Can I begin to rebuild a friendship today? You are reading from the book Touchstones. One should learn to enjoy the neighbor's garden, however small; the roses straggling over the fence, the scent of lilacs drifting across the road. --Henry Van Dyke There are many gifts around us which we overlook when we're busy dealing with our anxieties and obligations. We talk about burning out from our high-intensity lifestyles. We act as though nothing would get done if we didn't do it ourselves. We get so engrossed in fighting with the frustrations of life that we fail to see the good things coming our way that took no effort on our part. As we look around us this very moment, what good things do we find? Has a friend given a warm hello? Is the sun shining? The rain falling? Has the traffic flowed smoothly? We have no claim on these generous events, and we can't say God smiles on us when we have them or He frowns when we don't. We can say there are always generous forces coming our way which comfort and heal us. We only need to take time to enjoy them. Today, I will take some quiet moments to notice the good things coming my way. I will be grateful for them. You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning. . . . in order to feel anything you need strength . . . --Anna Maria Ortese Strength for any task, to withstand any pressure, to find the solution to any problem, is always as close as our very breath. We expend all our energy, wearing ourselves down, even getting sick from worry when we fail to turn to the source of strength that is ours for the taking. We are offered, moment by moment, opportunities to experience the rapture of life. We have the chance, with recovery, to trust our senses, to turn ourselves over to the moment, knowing we can survive every experience, knowing we are guaranteed new knowledge, a greater awareness of the meaning of our own lives when we're fully attuned to the experiences that are uniquely our own, right here, right now. Our strength increases as we flex it, not unlike muscles. The more we turn to that greater power, the more available that source of strength becomes. With practice, it becomes habitual to let God help us withstand all pressures, solve every problem. In time, the pressures and problems seem to exist no more. We learn to let our higher power circumvent the difficulties in our lives. Free at last; we become free at last to feel the real joys of living. All the strength I need to face anything that's worrying me is at hand. I will let go and let God help me today. You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go. Don't stop living your life! So often, when a problem occurs, inside or around us, we revert to thinking that if we put our life on hold we can positively contribute to the solution. If a relationships isn't working, if we face a difficult decision, if were feeling depressed, we may put our life on hold and torment ourselves with obsessive thoughts. Abandoning our life or routines contributes to the problem and delays us from finding the solution. Frequently, the solution comes when we let go enough to live our life, return to our routine, and stop obsessing about the problem. Sometimes, even if we don't feel like we have let go or can let go, we can act as if we have, and that will help bring about the letting go we desire. You don't have to give up your power to problems. You can take your focus off your problem and direct it to your life, trusting that doing so will bring you closer to a solution. Today, I will go on living my life and tending to my routine. I will decide, as often as I need to, to stop obsessing about whatever is bothering me. If I don't feel like letting go of a particular thing, I will act as if I have let go of it until my feelings match my behavior. Today I look beyond the immediate moment of satisfaction and decide what is good for me in the larger picture of my life. Today I have faith and patience and can wait to make loving and positive choices. --Ruth Fishel ************************************************** Journey to the Heart Love All of Yourself Do more than just accept yourself, tolerate yourself, put up with yourself, endure who you are. Love yourself. There came a time in my life when I simply could no longer put up with putting up with myself. I had talked about self-love. I had said aloud that I loved myself. The words were good, but they didn’t ring true. I had to actually begin experiencing and practicing love for myself. It became the next step on my path. To live in a magical way, one in which you connect with the universe, loving yourself isn’t optional. It comes first. To hear the quiet voice of your heart so you know when you’re being led, to hear your thoughts so you can see what you really believe, to trust, and open your heart, you must first experience love for yourself. Have you abandoned yourself? Let yourself see if that’s true, feel if that’s true. Then learn to experience love for yourself. Learn to love the way you handle things. Love your unique way of learning, growing, and seeing things. Love where you’ve been. Love what you’ve done. Love where you are, and what you’re doing now. Love how you look, smell, and feel. Love the color of your eyes, the color of your hair, and the radiance in your heart. Love how you laugh. Love how you cry. Love your mistakes, and love all the good you’ve done. Love it all. Love all of you. Step into love for yourself, and the universe will reflect that love back to you. ************************************************** More language of letting go Use your creativity in saying when Grace was the single parent of a seventeen-year-old son– Shawn. Shawn was charismatic, powerful, strong-willed, intelligent, and chemically dependent. Grace loved Shawn deeply. But she also felt trapped by his rebellious teenage years, coupled with his drug and alcohol usage. Shawn had been through treatment once, did well for a while, then had relapsed. Shawn had a driver’s license and a car. In his sober times, Shawn handled the responsibility of the car well. And the agreement was, if Shawn relapsed, he would relinquish the keys. The problem with chemical dependency is that denial and lying go hand in hand with the disease. When Shawn began using again, he also began lying to his mother. It didn’t take long for Grace to see and understand what was going on. She knew what her boundary was. Take away the car. Grace was clear about what she could and couldn’t do. She couldn’t make Shawn stay sober, but she could refuse to allow him to drive. Grace took action. She grabbed a screwdriver, went outside, removed both license plates form Shawn’s car, and drove directly to the post office. She then mailed the license plates to a friend of the family and asked the friend to keep the plates until Shawn sobered up. Shawn knew a boundary had just been clearly set. Six months later, when his plates were returned to him, he was sober and ready to respect the responsibility involved with driving an automobile. Sometimes, it’s not enough just to stay when. We need to get creative in how we say it,too. God, help me know that you will always be there to guide me in setting limits, when it is my responsibility and in my best interests to enforce a particular boundary. ************************************************** Putting Our Tools to Use Bringing Inspiration into Form by Madisyn Taylor We have all built up a toolbox of unique tools to help us navigate life, we just need to use them. Every craftsperson has a toolbox full of tools and a number of techniques to help them bring inspiration into form. In the same way, throughout our lives, we have discovered our own life tools and techniques—the ways and means that have helped us create our lives up to this point. Sometimes we forget about the tools and skills we’ve acquired, and we wonder why we aren’t moving forward. At times like these, it might just be a matter of remembering what we already know, and rediscovering the tools we already have at our disposal. In the process of becoming who we are and creating our lives, we have all gone through the experience of being inspired to do something and then finding the tools we needed to do it. If we look back, we may be able to remember that we used, for example, the tool of writing every day in order to clarify our intentions. We may also have used the tools of ritual, meditation, or visualization to make something happen. In addition, we may have been fueled by a new idea about how the universe works, which is what gave us the inspiration to use these tools. In order for ideas to be powerful, they must be imbued with the energy of our engagement with them, and in order for tools to be effective they must be put to use. This sounds obvious, but often we fall into the habit of thinking we are engaging with ideas and using tools by virtue of the fact that we are reading about them, or listening to other people talk about them. In truth, using our tools is a very personal action, one we must take on behalf of ourselves. Like artists, we are each unique and no two of us will receive the same inspiration, nor will we bring it into form in the same two ways. To discover the truth of our own vision, we must take action by remembering our tools and putting them to use. Published with permission from Daily OM ************************************************** ' A Day At A Time Reflection For The Day I considered myself a “loner” in the days when I was actively addicted. Although I was often with other people — saw them, heard them, touched them–most of my important dialogues were with my inner self. I was certain that nobody else would ever understand. Considering my former opinion of myself, it’s likely that I didn’t want anybody to understand. I smiled through gritted teeth even as I was dying on the inside. Have my insides begun to match my outside since I’ve been in The Program? Today I Pray May my physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual selves become one, a while person again. I thank my Higher Power for showing me how to match my outside to my inside, to laugh when I feel like laughing, to cry when I feel sad, to recognize my own anger or fear or guilt. I pray for wholeness. Today I Will Remember I am becoming whole. ************************************************** One More Day Pain is part of being alive, and we need to learn that. Pain does not last forever, nor is it necessarily unbearable, and we need to be taught that. – Harold Kushner Losing anything — a loved one, a favorite book, even a set of goals we thought were reachable — can hurt deeply. But the loss of good health is one of the greatest pains we can suffer, for it signifies the ending of what is familiar and what is expected. The pain of a long-term medical condition isn’t just physical, it’s also emotional. We are afraid that we will not be able to live through the change. With time, however, we adjust to this latest loss, just as we have adjusted the others. We create new routines that allow for diminished health. As laughter filters through our days once again, we understand that even despair is not permanent. I reach outward, extending my arms for hope. I turn inward with the thought of helping myself. I am getting stronger. |
May 19
You are reading from the book Today's Gift. As we learn we always change, and so our perception. This changed perception then becomes a new Teacher inside each of us. --Hyemeyohsts Storm Hyemeyohsts Storm's book, Seven Arrows, tells the stories of one of the Indian tribes in this country before most of its members were killed. They believed that change was important for growth. Change is sometimes frightening. We usually prefer the familiar, no matter how uncomfortable, over taking a chance on the unknown. When fear gets in the way of making healthy changes, we talk to fear, inviting it along with us on our course of action. Getting to know fear allows us to ask it for a gift: the courage to walk with fear by our side and learn from it as we go. It allows us to learn which fear is blocking our progress and which fear is healthy--cautioning us against actions that might be harmful. What fear might I make a friend of today? You are reading from the book Touchstones. The world is full of people looking for spectacular happiness while they snub contentment. --Doug Larson We are men on a quest. We seek the serenity of being friendly toward the world and toward ourselves. The spiritual practices we follow are personal and quiet, not spectacular or dazzling. We have been part of the throng seeking stimulating highs. Some of us know the excitement and escape of saving others from their own troubles or drowning ourselves in activity and work. We may know the mellowness of a drug or food binge. Perhaps we know the heart-pounding intensity of shoplifting, gambling, or sexual pursuit. The way of life suggested by this simple program changes us deeply if we fully surrender to it. This spiritual quest changes us slowly over time, and our reward is contentment. It produces a joy, a feeling of well-being, which is far richer than the momentary pleasures we sought in the past. Today, I am grateful for a way of life which leads me toward a contentment I can rely on. You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning. . . . if we are suffering illness, poverty, or misfortune, we think we shall be satisfied on the day it ceases. But there too, we know it is false, so soon as one has got used to not suffering, one wants something else. --Simone Weil Perhaps it's the human condition never to be satisfied and yet always to think, "If only . . ." However, the more we look within for wholeness, the greater will be our acceptance of all things, at all times. So frequently we hear that happiness is within. But what does that mean when we may have just lost the job that supported us and our children? Or when the car won't start and funds are low? Or when we are feeling really scared and don't know whom to talk to or where to go? "Happiness is within" is such a grand platitude at those times. Nevertheless, our security in any situation is within, if we but know how to tap it. It is within because that is where the strength we are blessed with resides, the strength given us from the power greater than ourselves. "Going within" takes, first, a decision. Next, it takes stillness, and then, patience. But peace will come. We will quit wanting when we have learned how to turn to our inner strength. We will find serenity rather than suffering. I will go within whenever I feel the rumblings of dissatisfaction today. I will look there for my joy and sense of well-being and know that divine order is in charge. You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go. Solving Problems Shame is the first feeling that strikes me whenever I, or someone I love, has a problem, said one recovering woman. Many of us were raised with the belief that having a problem is something to be ashamed of. This belief can do many damaging things to us. It can stop us from identifying our problems; it can make us feel alienated and inferior when we have, or someone we love has, a problem. Shame can block us from solving a problem and finding the gift from the problem. Problems are a part of life. So are solutions. People have problems, but we, and our self-esteem, are separate from our problems. I've yet to meet a person who didn't have problems to solve, but I've met many who felt shamed to talk about the problems they actually had solved! We are more than our problems. Even if our problem is our own behavior, the problem is not who we are it's what we did. Its okay to have problems. Its okay to talk about problems at appropriate times, and with safe people. Its okay to solve problems. And were okay, even when we have, or someone we love, has a problem. We don't have to forfeit our personal power or our self-esteem. We have solved exactly the problems we've needed to solve to become who we are. Today, I will let go of my shame about problems. I love the person that I am becoming. --Diane Crosby written by ~ Ruth Fishel ************************************************** ********* Journey to the Heart Don’t Be Afraid of Making Mistakes Don’t be afraid of making a mistake. That energy can create more mistakes. It can stop us from enjoying what we’re doing. It can block us from creating freely and making something beautiful. Sometimes it’s necessary and important to make mistakes, to fumble around and do something poorly so we can learn to do it better next time. No matter what we’re doing or what we’re learning, we have to start somewhere. Look back at the past. We learned by trying, stumbling, falling, getting back up, and trying again. But we wouldn’t be where we’re at if we hadn’t begun where we were. Jump in, begin, and do the task as best you can. Stop worrying about mistakes, and let yourself do it as well as you can right now. If you do it wrong or poorly, you can do it over again. And when you do it in an attitude of love, you won’t fail. You’ll learn something new about yourself, life, and the task. Love yourself enough to try. Let yourself make mistakes. Tell yourself you don’t have to do it perfectly. Let yourself have fun while you’re learning. Start where you are, and do what you can. Learning and getting better will happen from there. You may not always know the best way in the beginning, but if you keep trying, you’ll quickly learn to tell when you’re on track. ************************************************** ********* More language of letting go Tell yourself how long you’ll wait Use deadlines as a tool. Sometimes, we find ourselves in an uncomfortable situation. We don’t know what to do next. We don’t know how to solve the problem. We don’t know the course that’s going to unfold. Maybe we’re seeing someone, and the relationship isn’t gaining momentum, but it’s not time to push the issue. Maybe all we need to do is give the other person a little space and time to work through his or her stuff. Maybe the business that we’re pursuing isn’t gaining any momentum, but things may change course. Part of us, the obsessive part, says, “I need to know right now.” But the other part of us, the serene, wise part, says, “Relax. It’s not time. You don’t have all the information yet.” Create a deadline, a private one, with yourself. Tell yourself you’ll give it six weeks or three months or maybe a year to change course. Then you’ll evaluate the data and make a decision about what to do next. Sometiimes, setting a deadline is all we need to do to help ourselves relax. We know we’re not trapped. We’re not being a victim. We’re making a conscious decision to let go and let things unfold. God, grant me the serenity to not try to force outcomes and solutions too soon. ************************************************** ********* Special Messengers Reconnecting with Friends Every person that passes through our lives makes a contribution to our life stories. There are those who play large roles and make deep impressions, but sometimes a brief special appearance before life takes them in another direction creates a meaningful connection. It is a rare gift when they suddenly reappear in our lives after a long absence. Though the world may seem full of more people than we could ever know, we are often drawn to people with similar energy, which brings us together time and time again. On first meeting, the characters in our life stories may seem familiar. We may know each other from past lives or perhaps we merely recognize the energy of a kindred spirit. But when fate brings old friends back into our lives, there is always a reason. They may act as messengers, reminding us of a part of ourselves we have forgotten to nurture. They might appear to give us a chance to react in a new way to an old situation. They may even bring up unresolved issues so that we may complete them, giving us the chance to move forward on our life path. Whether old friends, previous romances, or once and future partners, their reappearance is more than mere chance. They may never know what they bring into our lives, but the renewed contact is a gift. If this hasn’t happened to you, maybe you are meant to initiate contact by seeking out old friends. If old friends come to mind or into your dreams, use their appearance as an excuse to get in touch. If an old song or movie reminds you of them, reach out to share the gift of renewed contact. Wherever you fall in the circle of connection and reconnection, be sure to look beyond the surprise of the moment to enjoy the deeper gift that this revelation brings. Published with permission from Daily OM ************************************************** ********* A Day At A Time Reflection For The Day “When I was driven to my knees by alcohol, I was made ready to ask for the gift of faith,” wrote AA co-founder Bill W. “And all was changed. Never again, my pains and problems notwithstanding, would I experience my former desolation. I saw the universe to be lighted by God’s love; I was alone no more.” Am I convinced that my new life is real and that it will last so long as I continue doing what The Program and Twelve Steps suggest that I do? Today I Pray May God be the ever-present third party in my relationships with others, whether they are casual or involve a deep emotional commitment. May I be aware that if there is real friendship or love between human beings, God’s spirit is always present. May I feel His spirit in all my human relationships. Today I Will Remember God is The Divine Third. ************************************************** ********* One More Day The thought of suicide is a great consolation: by means of it one gets successfully through many a bad night. – Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche Many of us pretend that the thought of suicide has never crossed our minds, but our thoughts may occasionally become morbid — and we may be frightened. These thoughts may seem harmful, but they may actually be helpful. Thoughts of suicide can force us to recognize how much we value living. As we contemplate the moment at which our life would end, we struggle and notice our desire for life, although we may no understand why we have this desire. What’s important is that we gave ourselves the choice of death and did not choose it. As we feel the joy of that decision we can think more of ourselves and of our worth. We really do want to live and are strong enough to know that suicide is not an acceptable solution to our problems I feel joy from knowing I can choose life. |
May 20
You are reading from the book Today's Gift. For nothing can be sole or whole that has not been rent. --W. B. Yeats The maple out front is young and healthy, but it grows in the shape of a Y. Neighborhood tree experts have warned that as it grows, it will split in half as the weight of the two main branches pull down against each other. One of these two beautiful branches, already lush with new leaves, must be cut. But once pruned, the remaining branch will straighten as it reaches for the sun. It will grow faster, and the whole tree will live many years longer--all by cutting it back today. Sometimes we are like this tree. We go in too many directions, and can't seem to do any one thing well. When this happens, we need to give something up, to choose which direction we want and stick with it. The results will be well worth the price. What is holding me back from growth? You are reading from the book Touchstones. Truth is a demure lady, much too ladylike to knock you on the head and drag you to her cave. She is there, but the people must want her and seek her out. --William F.Buckley, Jr. As we develop a deeper and more reliable friendship with ourselves, we have little hunches or inner blips of feeling that tell us private truths. Ancient scriptures called it "a still, small voice." We usually sense this inner message somewhere in our body. Some men say it's in the heart, others say in the gut, or ear, or on their shoulders. When we are too focused on what others think and feel and what the world says is truth, we don't notice our inner voice; it doesn't get much chance to develop. It never hits us over the head; it requires silence and respect to be heard. As we follow the Steps, we learn to regularly visit the cave of this demure lady, Truth, and seek out her wisdom. The more we listen and the more we respect the truths we receive in our quietness, the more wisdom we are given. I will listen to the personal wisdom whispered by that still, small voice within. You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning. It only takes one person to change your life--you. --Ruth Casey Change is not easy, but it's absolutely unavoidable. Doors will close. Barriers will surface. Frustrations will mount. Nothing stays the same forever, and it's such folly to wish otherwise. Growth accompanies positive change; determining to risk the outcome resulting from a changed behavior or attitude will enhance our self-perceptions. We will have moved forward; in every instance our lives will be influenced by making a change that only each of us can make. We have all dreaded the changes we knew we had to make. Perhaps even now we fear some impending changes. Where might they take us? It's difficult accepting that the outcome is not ours to control. Only the effort is ours. The solace is that positive changes, which we know are right for us and other people in our lives, are never going to take us astray. In fact, they are necessary for the smooth path just beyond this stumbling block. When we are troubled by circumstances in our lives, a change is called for, a change that we must initiate. When we reflect on our recent as well as distant past, we will remember that the changes we most dreaded again and again have positively influenced our lives in untold ways. Change ushers in glad, not bad, tidings. You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go. Sadness Ultimately, to grieve our losses means to surrender to our feelings. So many of us have lost so much, have said so many good byes; have been through so many changes. We may want to hold back the tides of change, not because the change isn't good, but because we have had so much change, so much loss. Sometimes, when we are in the midst of pain and grief, we become shortsighted, like members of a tribe described in the movie Out of Africa. If you put them in prison, one character said, describing this tribe, they die. Why? asked another character. Because they cant grasp the idea that they'll be let out one day. They think its permanent, so they die. Many of us have so much grief to get through. Sometimes we begin to believe grief, or pain, is a permanent condition. The pain will stop. Once felt and released, our feelings will bring us to a better place than where we started. Feeling our feelings, instead of denying or minimizing them, is how we heal from our past and move forward into a better future. Feeling our feelings is how we let go. It may hurt for a moment, but peace and acceptance are on the other side. So is a new beginning. God, help me fully embrace and finish my endings, so I may be ready for my new beginnings. Today I will look at all my fears in a new light. I can now see them as a result of my thinking and will turn over all my fear thoughts to my Higher Power. Fear no longer owns me or is a threat to my day. --Ruth Fishel ************************************************** Journey to the Heart Value the Fragrances of the Universe I stopped at the small gas station to fill the tank and get a cup of coffee en route through northern California. “Did you know that the world’s largest manufacturer of aromatherapy products is right here in town? asked the attendant. His remark reminded me of the power of our sense of smell to affect how we feel. We are surrounded by odors, but unless one is particularly noxious, we tend to ignore the effects of the scents we are inhaling. And we tend to underestimate the power of certain scents to help us heal. Nurture your sense of smell. Let it come alive. Use its power to help you heal. A bundle of white sage burning in a sea shell on the table. The wisp of cedar smoke from the fireplace. A cone of incense filling the air. Lavender oil in the bath. Drops of eucalyptus sprinkled in the shower, its penetrating aroma mingling with the steam. A vanilla candle on the nightstand next to your bed. The smell of a forest, fresh with rain. Ocean air, salty and damp. The rich sawdust smell of redwood. Comforting smells from childhood– bread baking in the oven, freshly baked chocolate cake on the counter, chicken frying in the pan. The smell of our favorite people, their hair, their clothes, their cologne. Value your sense of smell, the way it connects you to yourself, to memory, to emotion, to the universe and the world around you. Use your sense of smell to help you discover what’s right for you. Surround yourself with the fragrances of the universe. Let them help you heal. ************************************************** More language of letting go Say when it’s time to get something done Yesterday we talked about using deadlines to help ourselves let go. Self-imposed deadlines can also be a way to focus our energy on a task at hand, especially one we’ve been putting off. “I’m going to get up and have the house cleaned by 10:00 A.M.” “I’m going to lock myself in the house and have this report written in two days.” “I’m going to get the yard cleaned up by the end of the week.” There are many times in life when it’s appropriate and healthy to listen to our internal clock about what to do and when to do it. Going with the flow can be a spiritual process, but there are other times when it’s helpful to use self-imposed deadlines to help us get the job done. Do you need to set a deadline for yourself? God, help me set appropriate deadlines for myself. ************************************************** Intelligence Speaks for Itself The Fear of Appearing Dumb by Madisyn Taylor In trying to project an image of intelligence, you deny others the opportunity to know the terrific individual you are. The universal need to be accepted by others can be a barrier that prevents us from being ourselves around them. When we fear that the people we encounter will perceive us as inept or unintelligent, we frequently try to flaunt our grasp of large words or clever witticisms or our professional expertise in an effort to convince them that we are smart and capable. The reasons for feeling this way can be many, and they can often stem from as far back as your childhood. Many women in particular have the fear that they may appear not smart. Yet overcompensating for this fear can have the opposite effect if others are driven away by what they see as an immodest attitude or sense that you are urgently trying to prove yourself. The simple desire to be judged smart by both new and old acquaintances can cause you to reject your true self and adopt an affected persona. But in trying so persistently to project an image of supreme intelligence or capability, you deny others the opportunity! to become acquainted with the real and terrific individual you truly are. The fear that others will perceive you as unintelligent can further influence your behavior, causing you to consciously avoid speaking your mind or asking questions. You may feel uncomfortable participating in activities if there is a chance that you won’t excel or taking part in discussions with others who may have more knowledge than you. In essence, you become ashamed of who you are and attempt to encase your identity in a veneer that others will find pleasing and impressive. It is, however, a common fear—one experienced by almost everyone at some point in their lives. The simplest way to combat it is to make a personal commitment to being yourself in your home, your workplace, and among strangers. Ask yourself how you believe the individuals you encounter will react should you speak awkwardly, need clarification, or fail to be the best at some activity. By being yourself, you will discover that all people make mistakes and ask questions and that others will like and resp! ect you because they recognize the goodness in your soul. The fact that you are willing to be yourself, letting your many affirmative attributes express themselves naturally, will help you make a positive first impression on everyone you meet and earn the esteem of your family and friends. Your confidence and easygoing manner will say, - this is who I am and I am proud of the person I have become. Published with permission from Daily OM ************************************************** A Day At A Time Reflection For The Day Alcoholism is called the “lonely disease”; almost without exception, alcoholics are literally tortured by loneliness. Even before the end of our drinking — before people began to shun us and we were “eighty-sixed” from bars, restaurants or people’s homes — nearly all of us felt that we didn’t quite belong. We were either shy, and dared not draw near otters, or we were noisy good fellows craving attention and approval, but rarely getting it. There was always that mysterious barrier we could neither surmount nor understand. Finally, ever Bacchus betrayed us; we were struck down and left in terrified isolation. Have I begun to achieve an inner calm? Today I Pray May I know the tenderness of an intimate relationship with God and the calm I feel when I touch His spirit. May I translate this tenderness and calm to my relationships with others. May God deliver me from my lifelong feeling of loneliness and show me how to be a friend. Today I Will Remember God can teach me to be a friend. ************************************************** One More Day Stripped of all their masquerades, the fears of men are quite identical: the fear of loneliness, rejection, inferiority, unmanageable anger, illness and death. – Joshua Loth Liebman Sometimes we may try to hold ourselves apart from others, pretending our uniqueness makes us superior. Underneath all our bluff and bravado we recognize that our fears are shared by all people. We fashion our lives to protect ourselves from hurt, from displeasing those we love, and from disappointing ourselves. Our best chance for success, despite some difficult burdens, is to develop a positive attitude, an open nature, and a willingness to risk. Doing this doesn’t necessarily protect us from all our fears, but it does create an honest bond with other people who also accept their human nature. My fears don’t have to isolate me; in fact, they can be the means by which I reach out to others. |
May 21
You are reading from the book Today's Gift. Who will tell whether one happy moment of love or the joy of breathing or walking on a bright morning and smelling the fresh air, is not worth all the suffering and effort which life implies. . . . --Erich Fromm A robin comes alive by breaking out of its shell. The small bird struggles to break out of the safety of the blue egg. Once out, it struggles to grow, slowly learning how to eat, walk, and fly. We, too, struggle as we grow. There is brokenness in all of our lives--broken hearts and broken dreams. Yet these experiences open our way to a world of growing. We find comfort in the presence of a Power greater than ourselves, in the same way a baby bird finds warmth near the body of its mother. We, too, can grow stronger every day, learning to take in nourishment and trying out our new wings. What struggles have made me as strong as I am today? You are reading from the book Touchstones. Everyone is a bore to someone. That is unimportant. The thing to avoid is being a bore to oneself. --Gerald Brenan As teenagers most of us were very self-conscious and concerned about how we looked to others. That was a normal stage in development. But, for many of us, our addictions began at that age, or the addictions of others affected us. Our emotional development stopped. We didn't develop an inner reference point, a relationship with our Higher Power that influenced us and helped us weigh other people's opinions. In recovery, we resumed our emotional and spiritual development where it had stopped. It is liberating to know that how we feel about something is important. We can follow our interests and pursue our commitments. We need not be ruled by others' feelings. With our regular pattern of taking our inventory, praying, and meditating, we are developing a relationship with ourselves which builds character and maturity. Today, I will give importance to how I feel, what I believe, and what is interesting to me. You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning. Our friends were not unearthly beautiful, Nor spoke with tongues of gold; our lovers blundered now and again when we most sought perfection . . . --Adrienne Rich So often our expectations exceed reality. We want more than we have; our homes, our loved ones, perhaps our jobs seem not to measure up. "If only"--we say to ourselves. The time has come to quit saying "if only" and be glad, instead, for what is. We are recovering. We do have friends and family who care about us. We do have exactly what we need at this moment. We each can make a contribution today for the good of someone else and thus for ourselves. And in the act of looking to this day--to giving something to another human being--we will sense the inner perfection we mistakenly long for in our outer selves. I can look around me today and be thankful. I will tell someone close that I'm glad we share one another's world. You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go. Getting Needs Met I want to change careers. . . . I need a friend. . . .Im ready to be in a relationship. . . . Regularly, we become aware of new needs. We may need to change our behavior with our children. We may need a new couch, love and nurturing, a dollar, or help. Do not be afraid to recognize a want or need. The birth of a want or need, the temporary frustration from acknowledging a need before its met, is the start of the cycle of receiving what we want. We follow this by letting go, then receiving that which we want and need. Identifying our needs is preparation for good things to come. Acknowledging our needs means we are being prepared and drawn to that which will meet them. We can have faith to stand in that place in between. Today, I will let go of my belief that my needs never get met. I will acknowledge my wants and needs, then turn them over to my Higher Power. My Higher Power cares, sometimes about the silliest little things, if I do. My wants and needs are not an accident. God created me, and all my desires. Change is an action step and I am taking new action today to bring positive change to my life. I know longer accept the unacceptable ways that no longer work for me. --Ruth Fishel ************************************************** Journey to the Heart Listen for the Music The woman at the campground in Olympic National Forest extended an invitation to me. “Some evenings when the soaking pools are closed and the guests are in their cabins, the members of the staff build a campfire, gather round, and sing. Listen for the music. You’re welcome to join us. You’ll have a great time.” The universe has invited us to join in,too. How often have we heard the music and for some reason been fearful to join in? We don’t have to stand in the shadows, watching others make music, watching others laugh and have a good time Whether it’s a group of friends doing karaoke or simply a good time of love and laughter, when we hear the music in our lives, it’s okay to join in. Some of the best times in my life were spent around a piano making music with the people I love. Some of the most memorable times have been when I forgot my fears and self-consciousness enough to relax and have fun with the people I was with. Music is all around us. Listen for it. Seek it out. Know you’re welcome to join in. Don’t worry about how well you carry a tune or whether you know all the words. You’ve been invited to the campfire. Come. Sing along. You’ll have the time of your life. ************************************************** More language of letting go Say when it’s either/or A deadline is different from an ultimatum. Deadlines involve the ue of time to get something done. Ultimatums use power. Ultimatums involve two ideas: an either and an or. Use ultimatums sparingly in your life. Sometimes, however, ultimatum is the only way to get a person’s attention. Here are some examples: “Either you get sober and stop using drugs, or I’m going to put you in prison.” “Either you start working and stop drinking, or I’m going to take the children and leave.” “Either you show up for work on time, or I’m going to find someone else to do your job.” Ideally, an ultimatum is not used to control the other person. It is an expression of limits– a powerful way of indicating to the other person that we’re on the verge of screaming when. Sometimes people use ultimatums as power plays. They use them to play on our fears, particularly our fear of abandonment: “Either you do what I want, or I’ll go away.” “Either you keep quiet and don’t confront my behavior, or I’ll get angry and punish you by being mad.” This may work for a while, but ultimately, it can backfire. Don’t use ultimatums as power plays, or devices to control the people around you. Don’t let other people use ultimatums to control or manipulate you. Use them as last-ditch warning notices that you’re about to say when. God, help me be aware of ultimatums, both the ones I dish out and the ones other people use on me. ************************************************** A Call to Action Assembling Your Light Team by Madisyn Taylor Assembling a team of angelic helpers and ancestors before you need them can save time and anguish when you need them. Each of us, whether we realize it or not, moves through life in the company of beings whose task is to watch over us. These ancestors, spirit guides, angels, guardians, and ascended masters designated to serve as protectors and guides take pleasure in their roles yet cannot assist us without first being asked. Since the origins of our sacred sentinels differ, we may choose whom we call upon for help based on the situation at hand. However, in certain circumstances, particularly those in which time is of the essence or there is the potential for harm, we may feel the need to surround ourselves with our entire complement of benevolent, watchful guardians at a moment’s notice. To do so, a great shortcut is to create and assemble a light team—a group of spirit helpers who will come to our aid when we utter a simple word or phrase. The creation of a light team begins with the dedication of the words that will serve as a shortcut in your time of distress, signaling to your sentinels that you are requesting their support. Meditation, at an altar or otherwise, can help you attract their attention, affording you an opportunity to articulate your desire that they work in tandem in certain instances. Creating a short ceremony in which you surround yourself with objects you associate with the helpers you wish to assign to your light team can ensure that those beings are in attendance as you designate your shortcut. Creating this shortcut is simply a tool. You can employ “light team” as your rallying cry or any other words you feel comfortable using. The numerous guides and guardians that see to your welfare will accept your choice gladly and respond instantaneously when called. Your light team will be there to assist you in those dangerous, chaotic, or confounding moments when you don’t have the time, energy, or opportunity to center yourself and meditate on individual sentinels. You can also call upon them when seeking guidance that originates from a variety of perspectives. Whether the support they provide comes in the form of guidance or wisdom, their combined presence will give you a sense of security that strengthens you and reminds you that you are never alone. Published with permission from Daily OM ************************************************** A Day At A Time Reflection For The Day “The language of friendship is not words, but meanings,” wrote Thoreau. Life indeed takes on new menaings, as well as new meaning in The Program. To watch people recover, to see them help others, to watch loneliness vanish, to see a fellowship grow up about you, to have a host of friends — this is an experience not to be missed. Can I recall my inital reactions when I came to The Program? Do I believe that I’ve finally come home? Today I Pray As The Program has given life new meanings for me, may I pass along to others that same chance to re-evaluate their lives in the light of sobriety, commonj purpose, friendhips and spiritual expansion. Prasie God for my new vision of human life. Praise Him for restoring for me the value and purpose of living. Today I Will Remember I value my Life. ************************************************** One More Day Out of a sense of duty and a desire to protect a loved one, a vicious cycle of misinterpretation, guesswork, silence, and isolation is initiated. – Neil A. Fiore For a while we may have tried to protect our loved ones by not talking about our illness. We may have even secretly hoped that it would go away if we didn’t talk about it. We learned, however, that this would never be and that problems often escalate if they are not dealt with. We see more clearly now that we can’t protect our family members or our friends. Trying to protect them meant denying our own feelings and ignoring theirs. We’ve discovered that our loved one don’t need to be — and often don’t want to be — protected. And when we don’t protect them, we’ve found that we and the people we love are growing and becoming stronger. I can be honest with my loved ones about my feelings and needs. |
May 22
You are reading from the book Today's Gift. If it's sanity you're after, there's no recipe like laughter. --Henry Rutherford Elliot A smile is the earliest form of communication. A human infant smiles in the first few weeks of life. As the child grows, it learns how to turn the smile into a laugh--a joyous response reflecting pleasure. A sense of humor, a feeling of fun, and an ability to laugh are all signs of emotional maturity. Healthy laughter frees us; it is the sunshine that makes life's shadows interesting. When we develop the ability to see the humor in a situation, we gain the ability to handle it. We were born with smiles. They are as much a part of us as our teeth and hair. Polished and cared for, our smiles can grow into a sense of humor that will help us through the painful times. How can I turn troubles into smiles today? You are reading from the book Touchstones. If you do not express your own original ideas, if you do not listen to your own being, you will have betrayed yourself. --Rollo May Those of us who go around trying to be right and do everything right are likely to betray ourselves. We stifle our impulses and control our intuition because we can't be certain that we are correct. As a spiritual exercise, we could stop now and listen to our inner selves and state our own ideas. What comes out may break the illusion of perfection and free us to proceed with life. We all have original ideas if we just notice them. What images come to mind while listening to music? What do our dreams tell us? New insights sometimes come by physical activity. Conversation with a friend can help lead us to our wisdom. Our growing strength as recovering men requires that we listen to our own messages and then take some risks to express them. Today, I will take risks by stating my ideas. I will stand up for myself by listening to my intuition. You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning. The change of one simple behavior can affect other behaviors and thus change many things. --Jean Baer Our behavior tells others and ourselves, who we are. Frequently, we find ourselves behaving in ways that keep us stuck or embarrass us. Or we may feel deep shame for our behavior in a certain instance. Our behavior will never totally please us. But deciding we want to change some behavior and using the program to help us, is a first step. Remember, imperfections are human and very acceptable. However, changing a particular behavior, maybe deciding to take a walk every morning rather than sleeping 30 extra minutes, will change how we feel about ourselves. And a minor change such as this can have a remarkable effect on our outlook, our attitudes. The dilemma for many of us for so long was the fear we couldn't change. But we can. And we can help each other change, too. One small change today--a smile at the first person I meet--meditation before dinner--a few minutes of exercise--will help me chart a new course. I will encourage another woman to join me in this effort too, and I will be on my way. You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go. Times of Reprogramming Do not ask for love unless you're ready to be healed enough to give and receive love. Do not ask for joy unless you're ready to feel and release your pain, so you can feel joy. Do not ask for success unless you're ready to conquer the behaviors that would sabotage success. Wouldn't it be nice if we could imagine ourselves having or becoming - and then immediately receiving - what we wanted? We can have and be the good things we want. All good things are ours for the asking. But first, groundwork - preparation work - must be done. A gardener would not plant seeds unless the ground was adequately prepared to nurture and nourish those seeds. The planting would be wasted effort. It would be wasted effort for us to get what we wanted before we were ready. First, we need to become aware of our need or desire. This may not be easy! Many of us have become accustomed to shutting off the inner voice of our wants, needs, and desires. Sometimes, life has to work hard to get our attention. Next we let go of the old programming: the behavior and beliefs that interfere with nurturing and nourishing the good. Many of us have strong sabotaging programs, learned from childhood, that need to be released. We may need to act as if for a while until the belief that we deserve the good becomes real. We combine this process with much letting go, while we are being changed at the core. There is naturalness to this process, but it can be intense. Things take time. Good things are ours for the asking, if we are willing to participate in the work of groundbreaking. Work and wait. Today, God, give me the courage to identify the good I want in my life and to ask for it. Give me also the faith and stamina I need to go through the work that must be accomplished first. Today I choose to feel love in this moment. Today I choose to let love fill my day and bring joy. --Ruth Fishel ************************************************** Journey to the Heart Learn the Art of Joyful Living Let’s pretend for a moment we have a friend who’s with us much of the time. This friend watches us, watches our lives and circumstances, and comments: Oh, that’s too bad. That’s terrible. That’s awful. You could be doing better. You’re not doing very well. What’s wrong with you? Why did you do that? This friend isn’t very pleasant, but many of us have brought such a friend with us through much of our journey. Now, let’s imagine something different. Let’s imagine a friend, a constant companion, who laughs a lot. This friend laughs at traffic, laughs at delays, laughs at long lines. Even laughs at setbacks. Of course, this friend doesn’t mock us or laugh at us when we’re in pain. This friend is compassionate and gentle, and has an open heart. But he or she helps us laugh, even when we hurt. This friend has learned the art of joy, the art of living, and the art of living joyfully. Let’s bring along the friend who knows the art of joyful living to help us learn the same. ************************************************** More language of letting go Say when the price is too high The cost of a thing is the amount of what I call life which is required to be exchanged for it, immediately or in the long run. –Henry David Thoreau Consider the young man who was doing great in his high school studies, then suddenly started to fall behind. One day a teacher pulled the young man aside and asked him what happened. The student told him that he had asked his father for a car, and the father told him that if he earned the money, he could have one. The student, being industrious and hard working, went out, got a job, saved the money, and bought the car. But then the car needed insurance, gas, and maintenance, so the student kept the job to keep up the car. The job took up more and more of his time, until finally he began to fall behind in his studies. “Why don’t you just get rid of the car?” asked the teacher. “Get rid of the car?” came the reply, “but how would I get to my job?” How often we feel that if we just get that new car, that new boyfriend or girlfriend, that promotion, or the condo in the good neighborhood, we will find happiness and contentment– only to discover that the thing just brings with it more pain, more costs, and more bother than it’s worth. The new sports car runs only half the time, the new partner needs more care than your dog, the promotion eats up your weekends, and the new condo won’t allow pets. Things don’t bring true happiness. Instead, they often sap your strength and leave you emptier than you were before. Think about the true cost of a thing before you pursue it– in time, lifestyle changes, energy, maintanence, and money. Can you really afford the amount of life that the thing will take from you in return for the happiness it brings? Are you willing to pay the price? God, help me be aware of the true cost of the things in my life. ************************************************** Setting the Tone Starting Your Day Well by Madisyn Taylor A gentle, reflective, and thoughtful morning will prepare you to create a gentle, conscious, and thoughtful day. The choices you make upon waking can have a profound impact on your day. If, still drowsy, you hit the ground running, rushing to prepare yourself to face your worldly obligations, you will likely feel fatigued and overwhelmed for most of your day. A leisurely and relaxing morning, on the other hand, can energize and excite you, as well as give you the courage to meet the challenges waiting for you. By beginning your day in a focused and centered fashion, you make it your own. You set the tone of your expectations and choose the mood you will use to respond to your circumstances. A gentle, reflective, and thoughtful morning will prepare you to create a gentle, conscious, and thoughtful day. The simplest way to eliminate the rush from your morning routine is to rise earlier. Getting children into routines and getting themselves ready as much as possible will also give you more time. Though this may seem like a hardship at first, you will soon grow to love the extra minutes or hours that afford you an opportunity to really enjoy watching the sun come up or connect with your loved ones before you go in your separate directions. There are many more ways you can constructively use the time you gain. A mere half-hour of introspection in which you examine your goals, thank the universe for the richness in your life, and contemplate the blessings you will receive this day can lift your spirit and help you formulate lasting positive expectations. Likewise, you can solidify your day’s intention through spoken affirmations or the words you record in a journal. Or, if you want little more than to enjoy your day, devote a portion of your personal time to activities that bot! h ground and delight you, such as meditation, yoga, chanting, singing, reading, or listening to music. If you feel, however, that there is little room for change in your start-of-the-day routine, try to make each activity you engage in upon waking a ritual in its own right. The time you spend everyday savoring a soothing cup of tea or washing away tension in a hot shower can serve as a potent reminder of the need to care for yourself no matter what the hour. Your morning is yours and should reflect not only your practical needs but also the needs of your soul. When you center yourself at the start of your day, you will likely find it easier to remain centered during subsequent work, play, and downtime because the overall sense of serenity you create through your choices will stay with you throughout the day. Published with permission from Daily OM ************************************************** A Day At A Time Reflection For The Day When I first listened to people in The Program talking freely and honestly about themselves, I was stunned. Their stories of their own addictive escapades, of their own secret fears, and of their own gnawing loneliness were literally mind-blowing for me. I discovered — and hardly dared believe it at first — that I’m not alone. I’m not all that different from everybody else and, in fact, we’re all very much the same. I began to sense that I do belong somewhere, and my loneliness began to leave me. Do I try to give to others what has been given freely to me? Today I Pray May I begin to see, as the life stories of my friends in The Program unfold for me, that our similarities are far more startling than our differences. As I listen to their accounts of addition and recovery, may I experience often that small shock of recognition, a “hey-that’s-me!” feeling that is quick to chase away my separateness. May I become a wholehearted member of the group, giving and taking in equal parts. Today I Will Remember Sameness, not Differences. ************************************************** One More Day Happiness is like time and space — we make and measure it ourselves; it is as fancy, as big, as little, as you please; just a thing of contrasts and comparisons. – George du Marier Happiness is a reference point, a relative state of mind to which we compare other emotions. Being happy is one of our ultimate goals. How we get there or if we get there often depends on how we live and how we treat other people. When we were children, many of our needs were taken care of by others. Now, it is more often we who must create our own happiness. We are no longer children dependent on others for our dreams and joys. We are adults, free to make our happiness in any form or shape we wish. My happiness depends on me, not on others. |
May 23
You are reading from the book Today's Gift. The prayer of the chicken hawk does not get him the chicken. --Swahili Proverb Imagine flying high over the grassy plains searching with piercing eyes for dinner down below. The sun is warm on our backs as we catch the heated updrafts and rest, always watching, always praying, that dinner will be provided for the little ones back in the nest. Dinner will be provided, of that the hawk is sure. It has faith. But the faith and the prayer will not put the chicken in its talons. It is going to have to keep looking, and, when it spots the prey, its wings will fold back, and its sleek body will plummet out of the sky. It will brake quickly with broad wings and clasp the unsuspecting supper on the fly. Like the hawk, once we have prayed, we must get to work. Our goal isn't going to be done for us. We can pray for the strength and wisdom we will need to get it done, and that prayer will be answered. But, as the hawk knows, it's up to us to do the work. What is my goal today, and my first step toward it? You are reading from the book Touchstones. You see, I just can't stop! Or tie myself to any one. I have affairs that last as long as a year, a year and a half, months and months of love, both tender and voluptuous, but in the end - it is as inevitable as death - time marches on and lust peters out. --Philip Roth Fears of intimacy, of learning about ourselves in a committed relationship, have kept many of us lonely. Focusing on the need for a sexual high helps us avoid the intimacy we fear. Whether we are in a long-term relationship or not, thinking that sex is love limits our chances for a comfortable intimacy. Sex is an expression of an intimacy that already exists, rather than a way to become intimate. Many of us fear closeness beyond the romantic stage. Others of us have pursued closeness, but when we met our own emptiness we said that wasn't the right person for us and ran in search of another excitement. The problem for us isn't the choice between singleness and marriage, but between letting someone truly know us or not. I will set aside my fears and learn the pleasure of intimacy. You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning. Give as much of yourself as you can to as much of your higher power as you can understand. --S.H. The more we are in concert with God, the greater will be our pleasures in life. Recognizing our partnership with our higher power makes every decision easier, facilitates the completion of every task, and removes all uncertainty about our value to this world, particularly to those persons around us. Knowledge that we are never alone, that in every circumstance our best interests are being cared for, softens whatever blow we encounter. The blows teach us; they are the lessons the inner self has requested, and let us never forget we have a ready tutor to see us through every assignment. The more we rely on God to see us through the mundane activities as well as the troubling experiences, the greater will be our certainty that all is well, our lives are on course, and a plan is unfolding little by little that has our best interests at its center. My understanding of God and the power of that presence is proportionate to my reliance on that power. Not unlike the power of electricity, I can plug into the source of the "light" of understanding and for the strength to see my way through any experience today. You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go. Enjoyment Life is not to be endured; life is to be enjoyed and embraced. The belief that we must square our shoulders and get through a meager, deprived existence for far off rewards in Heaven is a codependent belief. Yes, most of us still have times when life will be stressful and challenge our endurance skills. But in recovery, were learning to live, to enjoy our life, and handle situations as they come. Our survival skills have served us well. They have gotten us through difficult times - as children and adults. Our ability to freeze feelings, deny problems, deprive ourselves, and cope with stress has helped us get where we are today. But were safe now. Were learning to do more than survive. We can let go of unhealthy survival behaviors. Were learning new, better ways to protect and care for ourselves. Were free to feel our feelings, identify and solve problems, and give ourselves the best. Were free to open up and come alive. Today, I will let go of my unhealthy endurance and survival skills. I will choose a new mode of living, one that allows me to be alive and enjoy the adventure. I do not need to know anything about this day beyond this moment. This moment is perfect...just as it is and I can handle anything in this moment. My Higher Power gives me all the strength I need today to handle whatever comes up in this moment. --Ruth Fishel ************************************************** Journey to the Heart Trust That Guidance Will Come Trust and act on the guidance you have now. Some parts of our lives appear like a long, paved highway. We can see exactly where to go; we have a panoramic view. Other times, it may feel like we’re driving in the dark with only one headlight on a winding road through the fog. We can only see a few feet in front of the car. Don’t worry if you can’t see that far ahead, if you only have a glimmer of light to guide your path. Slow down. Listen to your heart. Guidance will come. Trust what you hear. Do the small thing. Take the one step. Go as far as you can see. Then go back to your heart, and you’ll hear the next step. It may be a step of immediate action, or deliberate inaction. Sometimes you may have to quiet down, wait, and prepare yourself to hear what you’re to do next. Trust and act on the guidance you have now, and more will come. ************************************************** More language of letting go Say when the time is right If you wait for the perfect moment when all is safe and assured, it may never arrive. Mountains will not be climbed, races won, or lasting happiness achieved. – Maurice Chevalier “I’m just waiting for the time to be right!” is a common excuse we use. We can sit on the sidelines, waiting for the perfect moment, but never get in the game. Sometimes, the time doesn’t feel right. I was too old when I started to sky dive, too poor when I started writing, too enmeshed with an alcoholic husband when I began recovering from codependency, and too involved with my addictions when I began recovery. The time may never be right. You can choose to wait until someday arrives, or you can begin now. Is there a dream hidden away in your life, something you wanted to do but put off for so long that you’ve almost forgotten what it is? Maybe the time is right to pull it out again. Get the college course guide and sign up. Go to a local gym and start working out. Take a chance. The right time for the journey is when you begin it. Why not today? God, motivate me to live a fuller, richer life. Activity: Pull out your wish list. Choose one thing on your list that has been quietly waiting for the time to be right. Decide that the right time is now. Then begin. ************************************************** The Status Quo Life as We Know It by Madisyn Taylor Our lives can sometimes become status quo and that is ok as long as we aren't keeping it that way on purpose. When our lives are going well, and sometimes even when they aren’t, we may find ourselves feeling very attached to the status quo of our existence--life as we know it. It is a very human tendency to resist change as though it were possible to simply decide not to do it, or have it in our lives. But change will come and the status quo will go, sooner or later, with our consent or without it. We may find at the end of the day that we feel considerably more empowered when we find the courage to ally ourselves with the universal force of change, rather than working against it. Of course, the answer is not to go about changing things at random, without regard to whether they are working or not. There is a time and place for stability and the preservation of what has been gained over time. In fact, the ability to stabilize and preserve what is serving us is part of what helps us to survive and thrive. The problem comes when we become more attached to preserving the status quo than to honoring the universal givens of growth and change. For example, if we allow a situation we are in to remain stagnant simply because we are comfortable, it may be time for us to summon up the courage to challenge the status quo. This may be painful at times, or surprisingly liberating, and it will most likely be a little of both. Underneath the discomfort, we will probably find excitement and energy as we take the risk of unblocking the natural flow of energy in our lives. It is like dismantling a dam inside ourselves, because most of the work involves clearing our own inner obstacles so that the river of our life can flow unobstructed. Once we remove the obstacles, we can simply go with the flow, trusting the changes that follow. Published with permission from Daily OM ************************************************** A Day At A Time Reflection For The Day When newcomers to The Program experience the first startling feeling that they’re truly among friends, they also wonder — with almost a sense of terror — if the feeling is real. Will it last? Those of us who’ve been in The Program a few years can assure any newcomer at a meeting that it is very real indeed, and that it does last. It’s not just another false start, not just a temporary burst of gladness to be followed, inevitably, by shattering disappointment. Am I convinced that I can have a genuine and enduring recovery from the loneliness of my addiction? Today I Pray Please, God, let me not be held back by my fear of recurring loneliness. May I know that the openness which warms me in this group will not suddenly close up and leave me out. May I be patient with my fear, which is swollen with past disappointments and losses. may I know that the fellowship of the group will, in time, convince me that loneliness is never incurable. Today I Will Remember Loneliness is curable. ************************************************** One More Day Prayer, crystallized in words, assigns a permanent wave-length on which the dialogue has to be continued. - Dag Hammarskjold Many of us have all but forgotten how to pray. We don’t mean to avoid prayer — it just happens. Instead of prayer, we look to ourselves for answers or to others for our well-being. Our spiritual lives have become stagnant. The reality of illness has, for many of us, underscored the limited power we have over some areas of our lives. We have no power over diagnoses, prognoses, remissions, or side-effects of medications. Whether out of anger, pain, depression, or hopelessness, a need arises to find balance in a world suddenly gone crazy. We may then trun to a Power greater than ourselves to provide the comfort we so desperately need. We pray; we meditate. We find peace. I don’t have to carry my burdens alone. |
May 24
You are reading from the book Today's Gift. Spring does not ask an audience, but shapes each blossom perfectly, indifferent to applause. --Joan Walsh Anglund In the spring each blossom brings its own shape, color, and fragrance. The lilacs come early to spread their lavender splash. Apple trees burst into white, cherry blossoms into pink, and each weaves its unique and pleasant perfume. They don't bloom because someone told them to, or because they will receive anything in return. They bloom for the pure joy of blooming. They bloom because that is what they are here to do. Each one of us blooms in our own time, with our own color and fragrance. Every one of us is a special and important blossom, and we are all part of the tree of life. How will my day today help me grow? You are reading from the book Touchstones. Edith Bunker: I was just thinking. In all the years we been married, you never once said you was sorry. Archie Bunker: Edith, I'll gladly say that I'm sorry - if I ever do anything wrong. --Norman Lear We can laugh at Archie because we see a part of ourselves in him. We have lived in a cloud of denial, blind to our faults. If we weren't actually blind to them, perhaps we just refused to admit them because we did not dare. Changing this pattern takes time and determination. We make progress in recovery when we stop focusing on what is wrong with others and start being accountable for ourselves. We grow when we are willing to amend our lives and accept forgiveness for our mistakes. A feeling of self-respect flows into us when we stand up and say "I did something wrong." This statement also says, "I have the strength to face my responsibilities and repair my mistakes." It is surprisingly helpful to our self-esteem, and it improves our relationships. Today, I will be accountable for my actions and will admit my mistakes. You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning. It's ironic, but until you can free those final monsters within the jungle of yourself, your life, your soul is up for grabs. --Rona Barrett We all have monsters. Maybe it's depression over the past or present circumstances, or resentment about another's behavior, or fear of new situations. Maybe it's jealousy of other women. The more attention we give the monsters, the more powerful they get. The harder we try to resist the jealousy or depression or fear, the greater it becomes. The program offers us the way to let go. And we find the way through one another. When we share ourselves fully with one another, share our monsters with one another, they no longer dominate us. They seek the dark recesses of our minds, and when we shine the light on them, they recoil. The program offers us an eternal light. I will let the program shine its light in my life today. My monsters will flee for the day. You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go. Letting the Cycles Flow Life is cyclical, not static. Our relationships benefit when we allow them to follow their own natural cycles. Like the tide ebbs and flows, so do the cycles in relationships. We have periods of closeness and periods of distance. We have times of coming together and times of separating to work on individual issues. We have times of love and joy, and times of anger. Sometimes, the dimensions of relationships change as we go through changes. Sometimes, life brings us new friends or a new loved one to teach us the next lesson. That does not mean the old friend disappears forever. It means we have entered a new cycle. We do not have to control the course of our relationships, whether these be friendships or love relationships. We do not have to satisfy our need to control by imposing a static form on relationships. Let it flow. Be open to the cycles. Love will not disappear. The bond between friends will not sever. Things do not remain the same forever, especially when we are growing and changing at such a rapid pace. Trust the flow. Take care of yourself, but be willing to let people go. Hanging on to them too tightly will make them disappear. The old adage about love still holds true: If its meant to be, it will be. And if you love someone, let them go. If they come back to you, the love is yours. Today, I accept the cyclical nature of life and relationships. I will strive to go with the flow. I will strive for harmony with my own needs and the needs of the other person. Today I dare to believe in the beauty of love. Today I trust I am being led to love by love and my day will be full of love. --Ruth Fishel ************************************************** Journey to the Heart Rituals Connect Us with Faith I stopped in at the Franciscan monastery, a short visit to look around. I bought a keychain, returned to my car, than realized I had misplaced my keys. I went back inside and talked to the receptionist. Just then a short priest joined our conversation. He had a bald head encircled by a short fringe of hair and he wore a flowing black robe. “Let me show you what I do when I lose something,” he said. “I ask St. Anthony for help.” The next moment, the priest was spinning in a circle, clapping his hands in a joyful prayer. “St. Anthony, St. Anthony, please look around. Something’s been lost and cannot be found.” He stopped, looked at me, then smiled. “Now you’ll find your keys,” he said. He was right. Within thirty seconds, we found the keys. They were on a counter in a place we had looked twice before. For some reason, we just hadn’t seen them. But I found something more wonderful than my keys. I had witnessed a delightful man expressing pure, innocent joy for a ritual that helped him and others through the days. What are the rituals that are important to you, that awaken joy, innocence, and faith in you? Do you allow yourself to use these rituals freely? What were the rituals you enjoyed as a child, the ones that brought you comfort? Do you remember them? Engage in these rituals. Use them freely. Share them with others, as the priest did with me. Rituals connect us to faith. They’re faith in action. Rituals are reminders of our connection to God. They bring us back to God and ourselves. ************************************************** More language of letting go Say when it’s time to begin I have a friend who is always planning to start a writing project “as soon as she gets organized.” She has read nearly every book, attended every seminar, and bought all the tapes on the subject. She has closets full of organizers, drawers stuffed with folders, and several related computer programs. There’s only one problem. Instead of starting, she hides behind a mask of “firsts.” “I’ll start writing, but first I’ve got to learn this program.” “I’ll listen to that tape, but first I’ve got to read this book.” Are you hiding behind a mask of firsts? Is there always something that keeps you from beginning? Take off the mask. Start the project. Ask that special person for a date. Do that Fourth and Fifth Step. Stop making excuses. Eliminate them. Learn to say when it’s time to begin. God, please help me eliminate excuses from my life. Show me how full my life can be when I pursue my dreams. ************************************************** Feeling Overwhelmed Breathing into Order by Madisyn Taylor Difficult situations are opportunities to be our best selves, hone our skills and rise to the occasion. Sometimes we may feel like there is just too much we need to do. Feeling overwhelmed may make it seem like the universe is picking on us, but the opposite is true: we are only given what we can handle. Difficult situations are opportunities to be our best selves, hone our skills and rise to the occasion. The best place to start is to take a deep breath. As you do, remind yourself that the universe works in perfect order and therefore you can get everything done that needs to get done. As you exhale, release all the details that you have no control over. The universe with it‘s infinite organizing power will orchestrate the right outcome. Anytime stress begins to creep up, remember to breathe through it with these thoughts. Then, make a list of everything you need to do. Note what needs to be done first, and mark the things others may be able to do for you or with you. Though we often think no one else can do it correctly or well, there are times when it is worth it to exhale, let go of our control, and ask for help from professionals or friends. With the remaining things that feel you must do yourself, take another breath and determine their true importance. Sometimes they are things we’d like to do, but aren’t really necessary. After taking these quick steps, you will find you have a plan laid out, freeing you from frenzied thoughts circling in your head. With calming deep breaths, you are now free to focus more fully on our priorities. Herbal teas or flower remedies along with wise choices about caffeine and food can help keep us from becoming frantic too. But with nothing further from us than our breath, we can breathe in our best intentions and let the rest go with an exhale. Keeping ourse! lves centered and breathing into and through life’s challenges helps us learn what we are truly capable of doing, and we will find we have the ability to rise to any occasion. Remember you aren’t being picked on, and you are never alone. Published with permission from Daily OM ************************************************** A Day At A Time Reflection For The Day Getting over years of suspicion and other self-protective mechanisms can hardly be an overnight process. We’ve become thoroughly conditioned to feeling and acting misunderstood and unloved — whether we really were or not. Some of us may need time and practice to break out of our shell and the seemingly comfortable familiarity of solitude. Even though we begin to believe and know we’re no longer alone, we tend to sometimes feel and act in the old ways. Am I taking it easy? Am I learning to wear The Program and life like a loose garment? Today I Pray May I expect no sudden, total reversal of all my old traits. My sobriety is just a beginning. May I realize that the symptoms of my disease will wear off gradually. If I slip back, now and then, into my old self-pity bag or my grandiosity, may I not be discouraged, but grateful. At last, I can face myself honestly and not let my delusions get the best of me. Today I Will Remember Easy Does It. ************************************************** One More Day Quote: Whatever you may be sure of, be sure of this — that you are dreadfully like other people. – James Russell Lowell Scientist have long known that all human bodies have essentially the same structure. In this day and age, one person’s heart — or even other organs — can be implanted into another human being’s body. Other similarities come to mind as we live the day-by-day struggles of having a long-term medical condition. We share the frustrations, the unshed tears, pain, and hopelessness with all people whose state of health is forever altered. But we also share in joy, in pleasure, in the small and large successes we all can achieve as we move on with our lives. We are different, but we are also so very much the same. Despite my physical limitations, I am more like all other people than I am different from them. Today, I will look for the similarities. |
May 25
You are reading from the book Today's Gift. Do we really know anybody? Who does not wear one face to hide another? --Francis Marion A woman in her fifties watched her mother in her eighties struggle against the wrinkles in her face and neck, trying to hide them, pretend they weren't there. She wanted her mother to accept that she was getting older but found her unwilling to listen. Haven't we all run into this situation? We can learn so much just by remembering that what is right for one person may not be right for another, and others are entitled to decide how they want to behave. Often, we are just worried about ourselves, concerned, for instance, with our own ability to age gracefully. We don't need someone else to do it for us. We can take care of ourselves. What do I worry about in another that I can take care of in myself? You are reading from the book Touchstones. For him who confesses, shams are over and realities have begun; he has exteriorized his rottenness. If he has not actually got rid of it, he at least no longer smears it over with a hypocritical show of virtue. --William James On the path we are following, confession is a frequent part of our experience. We admit our powerlessness; we make a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves and admit our wrongs; we make amends to people we have harmed; and we continue with personal inventory, promptly admitting our wrongs. With each of these Steps we grow spiritually. By expressing on the outside what we privately know inside, we feel relief and gain self-respect. Sometimes we have harbored and protected a real rottenness inside that needed to be exposed so we could change. Other times, what we felt was rottenness turned out - under the light of confession - to be only a human foible in need of airing. In either case, we grew stronger as we drew closer to reality and gave up the show of virtue by admitting our mistakes. I will walk the path of recovery today by confessing my wrongs promptly. You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning. One is happy as a result of one's own efforts, once one knows the necessary ingredients of happiness--simple tastes, a certain degree of courage, self-denial to a point, love of work, and above all, a clear conscience. Happiness is no vague dream, of that I now feel certain. --George Sand We are as happy as we make up our minds to be, so goes the saying. But happiness is the result of right actions. We prepare for it daily. We chart our course. Many of us have to first determine where we want to go before we can decide on the chart. We have perhaps passively floated along for years. But now the time is right to navigate, to move toward a goal. We may have fears about moving ahead. We can be courageous, however. Strength is at hand, always, if we but ask for it. We can make a small beginning today. And every day, we can do at least one thing we need to do to bring us closer to our goal. Accomplishment, however small, nurtures good feelings. Happiness is the byproduct. Today is wide open. I will decide on a course of action and move ahead. All around me help is available for the asking. You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go. Loving Ourselves Unconditionally Love yourself into health and a good life of your own. Love yourself into relationships that work for you and the other person. Love yourself into peace, happiness, joy, success, and contentment. Love yourself into all that you always wanted. We can stop treating ourselves the way others treated us, if they behaved in a less than healthy, desirable way. If we have learned to see ourselves critically, conditionally, and in a diminishing and punishing way, its time to stop. Other people treated us that way, but its even worse to treat ourselves that way now. Loving ourselves may seem foreign, even foolish at times. People may accuse us of being selfish. We don't have to believe them. People who love themselves are truly able to love others and let others love them. People who love themselves and hold themselves in high esteem are those who give the most, contribute the most, and love the most. How do we love ourselves? By forcing it at first. By faking it if necessary. By acting as if. By working as hard at loving and liking ourselves as we have at not liking ourselves. Explore what it means to love yourself. Do things for yourself that reflect compassionate, nurturing, self love. Embrace and love all of yourself - past, present, and future. Forgive yourself quickly and as often as necessary. Encourage yourself. Tell yourself good things about yourself. If we think and believe negative ideas, get them out in the open quickly and honestly, so we can replace those beliefs with better ones. Pat yourself on the back when necessary. Discipline yourself when necessary. Ask for help, for time; ask for what you need. Sometimes, give yourself treats. Do not treat yourself like a pack mule, always pushing and driving harder. Learn to be good to yourself. Choose behaviors with preferable consequences--treating yourself well is one. Learn to stop your pain, even when that means making difficult decisions. Do not unnecessarily deprive yourself. Sometimes, give yourself what you want, just because you want it. Stop explaining and justifying yourself. When you make mistakes, let them go. We learn, we grow, and we learn some more. And through it all, we love ourselves. We work at it, and then work at it some more. One day we'll wake up, look in the mirror, and find that loving ourselves has become habitual. Were now living with a person who gives and receives love, because that person loves him or herself. Self-love will take hold and become a guiding force in our life. Today, I will work at loving myself. I will work as hard at loving myself as I have at not liking myself. Help me let go of self-hate and behaviors that reflect not liking myself. Help me replace those with behaviors that reflect self-love. Today, God, help me hold myself in high self esteem. Help me know Im lovable and capable of giving and receiving love. I celebrate myself today. I am alive. I am growing. I am willing to do all I am able to do to be the best of who I am. --Ruth Fishel ************************************************** Journey to the Heart Awaken to Your Heart’s Contentment One day, you’ll awaken to discover your life is all you wanted and hoped it would be. Oh, you’ll not find everything just the way your head said you wanted it. It might not be the way you planned. But you’ll awaken to your dreams– your dreams of joy, love, and peace. Your dream of freedom. You’ll see beyond the illusions. You’ll transcend your old limiting beliefs. You’ll wake up and notice that your past is just as it needed to be. You’ll see where you are today is good. You’ll notice that you laugh a lot, cry a lot, smile a lot. You’ll look at tomorrow with peace, faith, and hope– knowing that while you cannot control some of what life does, you have possibilities and powers in any circumstance life might bring. The sturggle you have lived with for so many years, the struggle in your heart, has disappeared. You’re secure, at peace with yourself and your place in this world. One day, you’ll awaken to your heart’s contentment. Let that day be today. ************************************************** More language of letting go Say when it’s time to do that difficult thing Sometimes, true windows of opportunity open in our lives. We get a chance to make that amend. The perfect time to end or resolve that relationship arises. It’s like a gift from God when that window opens up. All we need to do is gently step through. But sometimes, we need to help God open the window– especially when we’re working up the courage to do a difficult thing. Maybe we’re waiting for just the right moment to end a relationship. Maybe we’re looking for an opportunity to make an amend, tell someone we’re sorry about something we’ve done that’s caused that person pain. Maybe we have a new project we’d like to begin. Sometimes, we can passively wait, and wait, and that window just seems painted shut and stuck. Ask God to help open the window, but do your part,too. Make a decision that you’re going to do it– whatever it is. Then let go, but not too long. Remember your decision. Remember your commitment to opening that window. Don’t force it, but focus your attention. You may begin to feel the slightest crack in the energy, that opening you need. Or you may have to wiggle the window frame, push on it just the slightest bit, to crack it open yourself. Then you’ll see it. You’ll feel it move. There. It’s open. Help God open the window in your life by deciding to do it. God, help me remember that the time doesn’t always feel right. Help me honor my deepest urges to do what I must to take care of myself. ************************************************** The Benefits of Singing Harmonizing with the Universe by Madisyn Taylor The act of singing is one of the easiest ways of raising the vibration of your body as you harmonize with the universe. Singing is an act of vibration. It takes music from the realm of the unformed-- whether that is in your mind or from that magical space of inspiration--and moves it from within to without. From the first breath singing moves the energy in a circular way inside your body. As the breath fills your lungs, it brushes against the second and third chakras—the centers of creation and honoring self and others. Instead of merely exhaling, pushing the air past the fourth and fifth chakras where heart charka and the center of will and intention reside, singing engages both the heart and mind. Sound vibrations from vocal chords resonate in the sinus cavities, filling the head with motion and sound while the brain lights up with the processing of the mathematics of music. This marriage of activities brings the third eye into play and opens the door for inspiration from the crown chakra before sending the sound out into the world. Once the vibration begins, it is sustained with each note, moving throughout your body and the space around you. This can help you to harmonize your frequency with the world and with the divine. The use of the voice can bring about catharsis, a cleansing from the expression of emotion, which is why we feel better after singing certain types of songs. All of this occurs even if we are not conscious of what we are singing, but when we really connect with an intention, the power of the voice and music together are powerful tools in creation. Even if you are not a singer by nature or talent, you are not left out. If you have a voice, it is your birthright to celebrate life with song. It doesn’t matter if you don’t feel you have a nice voice. Chanting or humming, singing solo or with others, your voice is yours to enjoy. Whether you sing along to the radio or use vocalization as part of your meditation time, singing and harmonizing are healing activities that bring your body’s vibrations into alignment with the universe. Published with permission from Daily OM ************************************************** A Day At A Time Reflection For The Day When we’re new in The Program, we’re novices at reaching out for friendship — or even accepting it when it’s offered. Sometimes we’re not quite sure how to do it or, indeed, whether it will actually work. Gradually, however, we become restored; we become teachable. We learn, for example, as Moliere wrote, “The more we love our friends, the less we flatter them.” Just for today, will I not show anyone that my feelings are hurt? Today I Pray May God help me to discover what true friendship is. In my new relationships, I pray that I may not be so eager for approval that I will let myself be dishonest — through flattery, half-truths, false cheeriness, protective white lies. Today I Will Remember A friend is honest. ************************************************** One More Day Much of your pain is self-chosen. It is the bitter potion by which the physician within you heals your sick self. – Kahlil Gibran We rarely, if ever, thing of grief in terms of loss of good health, yet each of us moves through the grieving process. We have a tendency to drive away those who are closest to us — those who are willing to share our pain — because we are unsure of how to handle our crisis. The period of time in which we grieve leaves us emotionally raw, open, and vulnerable. We may refuse help because of stubborn pride, totally unaware that the people who care about us are in pain and need to share as well. Fortunately grief passes, and while we will never be the same, we do heal. Loss of good health is new to me, and I must learn how to be gracious to those who care about me. |
May 26
You are reading from the book Today's Gift. An oak and a reed were arguing about their strength. When a strong wind came up, the reed avoided being uprooted by bending and leaning with the gusts of wind. But the oak stood firm and was torn up by the roots. --Aesop Within each of us, as in the reed and the oak, is a single characteristic which is both our strongest and weakest trait. The bending which keeps the reed alive makes it weak, we might think. Some of us see both sides of every argument and are good team players, fair judges, and compassionate friends. But like the reed--always bending to the needs of others--we may never know what we want or who we are. Some of us believe we are like the oak: strong and tough and successful in the face of most difficulty. But we may never learn to accept flaws in ourselves. We are wise to remember that no trait is strong or weak, but we make it so by how we use it. We can use our strength to stand straight in the face of hardship, and we can use our strength to bend. What is my strongest and weakest trait? You are reading from the book Touchstones. A rock pile ceases to be a rock pile the moment a single man contemplates it, bearing within him the image of a cathedral. --Antoine de Saint Exupery Images cost nothing and can be so enriching. Every man has some form of rock pile in his life. One has a problem within a relationship, another is burdened with the daily routine of living, someone else has a perplexing job, and another has too much time on his hands. We can open ourselves to images of what might be. Let us dream of other possibilities. We know it takes many years to build a cathedral, but each cathedral began as an image in someone's mind. What would we like to grow toward in our relationships? What can we do within ourselves today to carry us in that direction? Do we envision ourselves as successful in our work? What small steps will carry us toward the visions we cherish? Today, I am grateful for my imagination. I will be open to having faith in possibilities. You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning. Out of every crisis comes the chance to be reborn, to reconceive ourselves as individuals, to choose the kind of change that will help us to grow and to fulfill ourselves more completely. --Nena O'Neill Before choosing to recover, most of us lived through crisis after crisis. Many days we sought the oblivion of alcohol and drugs rather than face fears that ate away at us. It probably wasn't possible for most of us to realize that a crisis was a tool for growth. Even today, even in our recovery program, even though the clouds are clearing and we are feeling better about ourselves, a crisis may overwhelm us for a time. We do find help for it, though. We can breathe deeply, look to our higher power, listen for the messages that are coming through from our friends. And we can choose among the many options for the right action to take at this time. Life is a series of lessons. Crises can be seen as the homework. They aren't there to defeat us but to help us grow--to graduate us into the next stage of life. Today, I will look for my lessons and feel exhilarated by the growth that is guaranteed. You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go. Gossip Intimacy is that warm gift of feeling connected to others and enjoying our connection to them. As we grow in recovery, we find that gift in many, sometimes surprising places. We may discover we've developed intimate relationships with people at work, with friends, with people in our support groups - sometimes with family members. Many of us are discovering intimacy in a special love relationship. Intimacy is not sex, although sex can be intimate. Intimacy means mutually honest, warm, caring, safe relationships - relationships where the other person can be who he or she is and we can be who we are - and both people are valued. Sometimes there are conflicts. Conflict is inevitable. Sometimes there are troublesome feelings to work through. Sometimes the boundaries or parameters of relationships change. But there is a bond - one of love and trust. There are many blocks to intimacy and intimate relationships. Addictions and abuse block intimacy. Unresolved family of origin issues prevents intimacy. Controlling blocks intimacy. Off balance relationships, where there is too great a discrepancy in power, prevent intimacy. Caretaking can block intimacy. Nagging, withdrawing, and shutting down can hurt intimacy. So can a simple behavior like gossip - for example, gossiping about another for motives of diminishing him or her in order to build up ourselves or to judge the person. To discuss another persons issues, shortcomings, or failures with someone else will have a predictable negative impact on the relationship. We deserve to enjoy intimacy in as many of our relationships as possible. We deserve relationships that have not been sabotaged. That does not mean we walk around with our heads in the clouds; it means we strive to keep our motives clean when it comes to discussing other people. If we have a serious issue with someone, the best way to resolve it is to bring the issue to that person. Direct, clean conversation clears the air and paves the way for intimacy, for good feelings about ourselves and our relationships with others. Today, God, help me let go of my fear of intimacy. Help me strive to keep my communications with others clean and free from malicious gossip. Help me work toward intimacy in my relationships. Help me deal as directly as possible with my feelings. Today I know that I am being guided and protected by a power greater than myself. I look forward to the unknown around the next bend in the road, the adventure over the next hill. --Ruth Fishel ************************************************** Journey to the Heart Awaken to Your Heart’s Contentment One day, you’ll awaken to discover your life is all you wanted and hoped it would be. Oh, you’ll not find everything just the way your head said you wanted it. It might not be the way you planned. But you’ll awaken to your dreams– your dreams of joy, love, and peace. Your dream of freedom. You’ll see beyond the illusions. You’ll transcend your old limiting beliefs. You’ll wake up and notice that your past is just as it needed to be. You’ll see where you are today is good. You’ll notice that you laugh a lot, cry a lot, smile a lot. You’ll look at tomorrow with peace, faith, and hope– knowing that while you cannot control some of what life does, you have possibilities and powers in any circumstance life might bring. The sturggle you have lived with for so many years, the struggle in your heart, has disappeared. You’re secure, at peace with yourself and your place in this world. One day, you’ll awaken to your heart’s contentment. Let that day be today. ************************************************** More language of letting go Go through the door that’s open Sometimes, doors close in our lives. No matter how badly we want something, no matter how hard we’ve tried, no matter how much we want to pursue a particular course in our lives, the universe says no. Many years ago, I wanted passionately and desperately to write a book on codependency. All twenty publishers I queried said the same thing. No. Some said it politely. Some said it by refusing to respond at all. That door just wouldn’t open up, no matter how hard I pushed. One publisher came back with a counteroffer. “We don’t want the book on codependency,” the editor said. “But how about writing something for us on denial– why people do it, what part it plays in their lives, and how they become more aware and accepting of reality.” I accepted the offer. I needed the work. But I wasn’t thrilled. I diligently did my research and wrote the manuscript. About a year later, that same publisher came back to me and asked me to write the book on codependency. I pulled out all my notes and research, including a large notebook in which I had jotted down all my ideas and questions on the subject. As I went through this notebool, I noticed a question written in such large letters it took up the entire page. “What about denial– what part does this play in codependency?” I had written on the next page: “Why do people do it, how can they stop? Help me understand,” I had written almost as a prayer. I reused the denial concepts in my codependency book. I had long forgotten about my question to the universe. But God hadn’t. Sometimes when doors shut, it’s because we’re not ready to walk through the one we want. Maybe the door that’s open in your life is the one you need to walk through. Go ahead, step in. Look around. It might not appear to be as exciting as the one you’d hoped would open, but maybe it’s exactly where you need to be. Are you trying hard to push through a door that’s closed in your life? Make life easier on yourself. If you’ve diligently tried to open a door and it’s not budging, look around. Push on a few other doors. See which one opens. Then walk through that one. God, help me trust your timing in my life. Help me understand that sometimes you know more about saying when than I do. ************************************************** Effort and Understanding Having It Easy Our lives are an exercise in facing challenges. We dream the grandest of dreams as youngsters only to discover that we must cultivate copious inner strength and determination in order to meet our goals. Our hard work does not always yield the results we expect. And it is when we find ourselves frustrated by the trials we face or unable to meet our own expectations that we are most apt to take notice of those individuals who appear to accomplish great feats effortlessly. Some people’s lives seem to magically fall into place. We can see the blessings they have received, the ease with which they have attained their desires, their unwavering confidence, and their wealth. But, because we can never see the story of their lives as a whole, it is important that we refrain from passing judgment or becoming envious. Throughout our lives, we glimpse only the outer hull of others’ life experiences, so it’s tempting to presuppose that the abundance they enjoy is the result of luck rather than diligent effort. In a small number of cases, our assumptions may mirror reality. But very few people “have it easy.” Everyone must overcome difficulties and everyone has been granted a distinctive set of talents with which to do so. An individual who is highly gifted may nonetheless have to practice industriously and correct themselves repeatedly in order to cultivate their talents. Their myriad accomplishments are more likely than not the result of ongoing hard work and sacrifice. You, no doubt, have natural abilities that you have nurtured and your gifts may be the very reason you strive as tirelessly as you do. Yet others see only the outcome of your efforts and not the efforts themselves Our intellects, our hearts, and our souls are constantly being tested by the universe. Life will create new challenges for you to face each time you prove yourself capable of overcoming the challenges of the past. What you deem difficult will always differ from that which others deem difficult. The tests you will be given will be as unique as you are. If you focus on doing the best you can and making use of the blessings you have been granted, the outcome of your efforts will be a joyous reflection of your dedication. Published with permission from Daily OM ************************************************** A Day At A Time Reflection For The Day I know today that I no longer have to proceed on my own. I’ve learned that it’s safer, more sensible and surer to move forward with friends who are going in the same direction as I. None of us need feel shame at using help, since we all help each other. It’s no more a sign of weakness to use help in recovering form my addiction than it is to use a crutch if I have a broken leg. To those who need it, and to those who see its usefulness, a crutch is a beautiful thing. Do I sometimes still refuse to accept easily-obtained assistance? Today I Pray God make me see that it is not a sign of weakness to ask for help, that the camaraderie of the group is what makes it work for each of us. Like a vaccine for diphtheria or polio, The Program and the strength of the group have proved themselves as preventives for slips and backsliding. Praise God for the tools of recovery. Today I Will Remember Help is as near as my telephone. ************************************************** One More Day Know the true value of time; snatch, seize, and enjoy every moment of it. No idleness, no laziness, no procrastination, never put off till tomorrow what you can do today. – Lord Chesterfield Whether the memories were good or bad, we can never call back those moments that are already gone. Each special time should be savored as unique, never to be repeated again. We may be uncertain of what our future holds, especially since we are not as well as before. By understanding the preciousness of each day, we can enhance the way we live our lives. Each day is valuable and offers us one time opportunities to seize that moment — to make the very most of each chance to live. Every moment is precious. I will make the most of each day. |
May 27
You are reading from the book Today's Gift. If your life is ever going to get better, you'll have to take risks. There is simply no way you can grow without taking chances. --David Viscott One sunny day a caterpillar who was afraid of the dark came to a tunnel which lay squarely in its path. It had a choice of going back where it started, or summoning the courage to crawl into the darkness. "What shall I do?" wondered the caterpillar. "If I go back home, I won't get where I want to go, but I'm so afraid!" Just then, a voice called out from the tunnel. "I can hear you, Mr. Caterpillar. I am Mr. Beetle. I am here in the tunnel and I can see the other end. If you come through, you won't lose your fear of the dark, but you will get where you want to go." We are all like the caterpillar once in a while. But if we let our fear stop us from doing things which are necessary to our growth, we will never realize what courage we really have. Is my fear a necessary part of new experiences? You are reading from the book Touchstones. At times almost all of us envy the animals. They suffer and die, but do not seem to make a "problem" of it. --Alan Watts When we sit quietly and open ourselves to contact with our Higher Power, problems may come to mind. We seek some wisdom beyond ourselves to help us meet the challenges of this day. For many of us men, the greatest problem is our thinking rather than the situations we have to deal with. Unlike animals, we complicate what is very simple. The pain we face is never fair, so we need not waste time trying to understand the justice or injustice of it. Our problems may seem large or overwhelming from today's perspective. By tomorrow or next month most of them will be resolved in some way, and we may not even remember them. Our spiritual path teaches us to do first things first each day and not fret about the outcome. We turn outcomes over to the will of God. Today, I will use the simplicity of the animals as my guide. You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning. As the wheel of the decades turns, so do a person's needs, desires, and tasks. Each of us does, in effect, strike a series of "deals" or compromises between the wants and longings of the inner self, and an outer environment that offers certain possibilities and sets certain limitations. --Maggie Scarf What life has measured out may not be what we had dreamed of. Life's lessons may not be those we'd have chosen to learn. Wisdom dictates that the joy of life is proportional to the ease with which we accept those possibilities for growth that have grown out of our inner desires. Our desires are like an outline for a written assignment, a research project. They help us to see where we want to go at any one time, but as we move the direction may need to change. The natural flow of "the assignment" will help to refine it. We may not have tried to "realize" many of our desires in the past. But the time has come. One of the joys of recovery is that we understand our desires are closely related to our spiritual program and our recovery. And we know we are not alone. We need to attend to the inner desires that beckon to us. They are calling us to move forward. Today, I can take the first few steps. You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go. Recognizing Choices We have choices, more choices than we let ourselves see. We may feel trapped in our relationships, our jobs, our life. We may feel locked into behaviors such as caretaking or controlling. Feeling trapped is a symptom of codependency. When we hear ourselves say, I have to take care of this person. . . . I have to say yes. . . . I have to try to control that person. . . . I have to behave this way, think this way, feel this way. . . . we can know we are choosing not to see choices. That sense of being trapped is an illusion. We are not controlled by circumstances, our past, the expectations of others, or our unhealthy expectations for ourselves. We can choose what feels right for us, without guilt. We have options. Recovery is not about behaving perfectly or according to anyone else's rules. More than anything else, recovery is about knowing we have choices and giving ourselves the freedom to choose. Today, I will open my thinking and myself to the choices available to me. I will make choices that are good for me. I will take all the time I need to keep in touch with my Higher Power today. Meditation slows me down and brings me peace whenever I choose. --Ruth Fishel ************************************************** Journey to the Heart Stop Punishing Yourself with Fear It’s time to stop punishing ourselves. Time to stop beating ourselves over the head with fear. This is the scenario. A fear enters our mind. Our mind takes it and runs with it. Something bad is going to happen. Something terrible and traumatic is on the way. We quickly review the traumas of our past and make the determination: Yes, it is very possible that this devastating event will happen. So we sit crouched in the present moment full of fear and dread. We worry that the worst that could possibly happen, probably will. We begin to believe that it is most likely waiting at our doorstep, ready to pounce on us and steal our joy, our peace, our place and rhythm in the universe. Because we have harbored the fear so intensely, it has already manifested itself. The thing we fear doesn’t need to happen; it already has– or it might as well have– because we are already forcing ourselves to live through it. Yes, many awful things have happened to you and me that we are very sorry happened. But that doesn’t mean that we have to give up the beauty of the present moment to something that hasn’t happened yet. Even if it does happen sometime in the future, by harboring the fear we will have lived through it twice as long as we need to. Recognize and acknowledge your fear. Then release it. Let go of the energy. Stop punishing yourself. While life’s seasons may not always be fair, they are trustworthy. And within each day, each moment of each season, there is a way of peace and love. Do not allow fear of what if to ruin the joy of what is. ************************************************** More language of letting go Say when it’s not right for you Not all doors that open up are good for us to walk through. Sometimes, we’re in that dark corridor, and no doors or windows are open. Then, a crack of light appears. We get an offer– for a job, for a relationship, for a place to live. Our gut goes off. We know this isn’t right for us. If we were desperate, we wouldn’t consider it. You’re not desperate. Even if you are, act as if you aren’t. If it’s not right for you, it’s not right for you. Back off– even though you may be burning with impatience and desperation. You don’t have to do anything that’s not right for you. God, grant me a spirit of serenity and patience. Help me take a moment before making any decisions to ask for guidance first. ************************************************** Design for Life Applying Feng Shui in Your Living Room by Madisyn Taylor Address the energy needs of the heart of your home and you will find your home is soon buzzing with a new feeling of harmony. A well-kept home can be compared to a living being in optimal health—it is fueled by intention, thrives when in balance, and relies on the energy of life itself for sustenance. Feng shui, the ancient Chinese art of harmonious placement, describes the living room as the heart of the home. Maintaining the gentle flow of chi, or life energy, is important since it is the home where members of a family and the larger community come together to engage with one another in fellowship. A living room that is organized and decorated in accordance with the balancing principles of feng shui is inviting, encourages relaxation and conversation, and makes all who enter feel content. All of this can be accomplished by simply changing the physical and aesthetic character of a room. When its flow is blocked by furniture, walls, or doorways, we tend to feel uneasy and become less satisfied with life as a result. Promoting harmony in a home's living area is simple when it is regarded as both a single, unified space and a collection of smaller regions of space. First, stand in the room's main doorway to examine your living room as a whole. Look for and clear away clutter— the rightmost side of the room can inspire stability in close personal relationships, while tidying the leftmost side will increase your prosperity potential. Release stagnant energy by orienting chairs and sofas in a ring, veiling harsh angles with plants or ornamental screens, and using other furniture to break up direct pathways. A fireplace that serves as the focal point of the room stimulates passion and openness, while sculptures absorb negativity. If the structural design of your living room does not allow you to decorate in accordance with the principles of feng shui, there are steps you can take to ensure that balance is nonetheless maintained. Mirrors, fountains, chimes, crystals, and aquariums all redirect the flow of chi, while also attracting luck, abundance, and peace. Adding warm colors such as pinks and reds to the living room can be curative even when no other changes are feasible. It does not matter how large or small your living room is, nor how fancy or plain. Address the energy needs of the heart of your home, and you will find your home as a whole is soon imbued with a new harmoniousness that manifests itself indelibly in your existence. Published with permission from Daily OM ************************************************** A Day At A Time Reflection For The Day When I have only myself to talk to, the conversation gets sort of one-sided. Trying to talk myself out of a drink or a pill or a “small wager” or just one chocolate eclair is sort of like trying self-hypnosis. It simply doesn’t work; most of the time, it’s about as effective as trying to talk myself out of a case of diarrhea. When my heart is heavy and my resistance low, I can always find some comfort in sharing with a true and understanding friend in The Program. Do I know who my friends are? Today I Pray May I be convinced that, as part of God’s master plan, we were put here to help each other. May I be as open about asking for help as I am ready to give it, no matter how long I have been in The Program. May the experiences of countless others be enough to prove to me that “talking myself out of it” seldom works, that the mutual holstering that comes from sharing with a friend usually does. Today I Will Remember When I ask for help, I am Helping. ************************************************** One More Day True miracles are created by men where they use the courage and intelligence that God gave them. – Jean Anouilh Recently a woman in Minnesota received her Ph.D. She was eighty years old. She said she needed to conquer new worlds. The quest for learning should never end, yet all too often we feel our education ends when we are done with school. If we want something intensely enough, whether we set our sights for an education or some other goal, it’s very likely we will find a way of achieving our needs. Sometimes in the process of getting there, we discover other tracks to follow, which may take us to a slightly different endpoint than the one we had originally envisioned. We learn, as mature adults, to accept substitutes. And still we reach as far as we are able. I can learn to set new goals — ones which challenge me but don’t defeat me. |
May 28
You are reading from the book Today's Gift. Though we travel the world over to find the beautiful, we must carry it with us or we find it not. --Ralph Waldo Emerson The little rabbit stood alone, watching her family and friends hop and skip about her in the forest, playing her favorite rabbit game. Try as she might, each time she attempted to join in, she tripped about awkwardly. When this happened, the other rabbits laughed uproariously at her and called her "Grace." Soon even she forgot her real name. But in the moments when Grace was alone, she danced around the trees with ease. She was as smooth and graceful as any ballerina. An old owl sat high above her one night, watching her intently. The moonlight streamed through the treetops like a soft spotlight and he sat and watched as little Grace moved in and out of the moonbeams. Finally he said, "Grace, you are more graceful than any creature I've ever seen." Grace was startled that someone had been watching her, but listened carefully to the wise owl's words as he continued. "You have carried this beauty within you all the time, but locked it inside when you tried too hard." If we remember to relax and trust in ourselves, we, too, will discover that we are able. What hidden ability can I set loose today? You are reading from the book Touchstones. I sidestep the either/or choices of logic and choose both. --Ken Feit Men like us have often had a lifestyle guided by either/or logic. We think we must either conquer the challenge we see before us or we will be failures. We think loved ones must either meet our needs or they do not love us. We think we must either be perfect or we are unacceptable. Let us now step back from the rigidity of such unhealthy logic. Much of human experience and many answers to our problems don't come in neatly tied packages. As we learn to think and feel in more flexible ways, we find life gets better. Using our intuition at times, rather than always following rigid rules for life, improves the recipe. The arrogance of our thought process has sometimes told us we had the answer, but it closed us to the growth which only comes by trusting our feelings. If we make mistakes, we can learn from them and go on. Many of the most ingenious inventions came not by rigidly following rules, but by following an inner feeling. Today, I will be open to more possibilities in my thinking. You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning. Spiritual power can be seen in a person's reverence for life--hers and all others, including animals and nature, with a recognition of a universal life force referred to by many as God. --Virginia Satir Taking the time, daily, to recognize the spiritual force in everyone and everything that is all about us, encourages us to feel humble, to feel awe. Reflecting on our interconnections, our need for one and all to complete the universe, lessens whatever adversity we might feel as we struggle with our humanity. Our spiritual power is enhanced with each blessing we give. And as our spiritual power is enhanced, life's trials are fewer. Our struggle to accept situations, conditions, and other people, or our struggle to control them, lessens every day that we recognize and revere one another's personhood, one another's existence. I can teach myself reverence, and I can begin today. I will look for "the Spirit" everywhere, and I will begin to see it. You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go. Letting Go of Self Doubt A married woman who had recently joined Al Anon called me one afternoon. She worked part time as a registered nurse, had assumed all the responsibilities for raising her two children, and did all the household chores, including repairs and finances. I want to separate from my husband, she sobbed. I cant stand him or his abuse any longer. But tell me, please tell me, she said, do you think I can take care of myself? --Codependent No More Not only is it okay to take care of ourselves, we can take good care of ourselves. Many of us, so confident about our ability to take care of others, doubt our inherent strength to care for ourselves. We may have come to believe, from our past or present circumstances, that we need to take care of others and we need others to take care of us. This is the ultimate codependent belief. No matter where this self-defeating belief was born, we can release it and replace it with a better one, a healthier one, a more accurate one. We can take care of ourselves whether we are in or out of a relationship. Everything we need will be provided. We will have loved ones, friends, and our Higher Power to help. Knowing that we can take care of ourselves doesn't mean we wont have feelings of fear, discomfort, doubt, anger, and fragility at times. It means we practice courageous vulnerability, as Colette Dowling called it in Cinderella Complex. We may feel scared, but we do it anyway. Today, God, help me know how I can take care of myself. Nothing can stop me from feeling wonderful today. I am filled with all the wonder and splendor of the universe and I pass these on to everyone I meet. --Ruth Fishel ************************************************** Journey to the Heart Let the Universe Support You Who or what is your source of power? Who or what are you connected to? Watch yourself as you go through your days. Where do you get your nurturing, your support, your empowerment, your energy? Does it all come from one person? Do you have a multitude of sources? Do you consider God, the Divine, your ultimate source? There was a time when many of us made one person our only source. That time is past. Although special people are in our lives to be a special support, one of our lessons has been to broaden our connections, to connect to the universe, to open up to all the love and support that is there for us. If we use for our source only one person, one job, one place, one situation, we may encounter problems. Searching for many sources of support is a sign of our growth, a sign that we are continuing on our journey. Value and cherish the people in your life who feed your soul and nurture your heart. Value and cherish the people who are special to you, who you hold dear, who help support you. But don’t limit your connections. Open your heart to a living universe. Open your heart to Divine love. Know that if you can’t get what you need from one person or place, it is because the universe has something or someone better for your needs and your growth. Who and what are you connected to? Are you willing to become connected to the universe? Open your heart, your mind, your soul, and let the universe teach you about Divine love. Stop limiting your source to only one person. Open to a limitless source of support and energy. Open to the universe. ************************************************** More language of letting go Say when it’s time to focus I was getting ready to make a skydive. I had a lot going on at the time– problems with construction workers, some phone calls I needed to make. “Put it all aside for right now,” Andy, my jump master said. “The only thing in the world you’re going to focus on for the next hour is the skydive you’re going to make. You don’t want to be jumping out of that plane with other stuff going on in your mind.” I did what he said. I deliberately pushed aside all other thoughts of people, what they were feeling, what I had to do, and how they were going to respond. “That’s one of the benefits of skydiving,” Andy said. “It’s really taught me to focus my mind.” Sometimes we get interrupted. Sometimes it’s good to let our consciousness flow and our minds wander. Sometimes it’s time to focus on one task and let others care and ideas slip away. We have so much power in this marvelous world. One of the powers available to us is dedication, commitment, and focus on the task at hand. Learn to focus on one thing you want to do. If you’ve been struggling with and procrastinating about something, make a commitment to focusing on that task until it’s done. God, help me learn to focus my energies on the essential tasks at hand. ************************************************** Capturing Life’s Flavor Taking a Field Trip by Madisyn Taylor Adding variety to your life in the form of a field trip can break up the monotony of your days and lead you to adventure. When we were children, few words were more exciting to hear than the phrase “field trip.” Field trips were a break from schoolwork and an opportunity to go on an adventure with friends. Now that we are grown ups, taking a field trip can be just as fun and memorable – if only we were willing to sign our own permission slips so we could go on one. Allowing yourself to get stuck in your routine can make life seem boring. Adding a touch of variety to your life in the form of a field trip can break up the monotony of your days and lead you to adventure. Unlike the jaunts that were regulated by teachers or monitored by parents, taking a field trip as an adult can lead you anywhere you want. You can go on a daylong retreat or spend just a few hours at your destination. A field trip can be an opportunity to explore a new landscape or discover something about yourself. Taking a day trip to another town or visiting an unfamiliar spot in your neighborhood can be educational and fun. There is also much to be said for finding a beautiful spot under a tree where you can read a book. You can even go to one of your favorite spots and allow yourself to experience it as if you were visiting there for the first time. Going on a field trip is as much a state of mind as it is a change in the scenery. During a “grown up” field trip, schedules, clocks, and duties are put aside so you can focus wholeheartedly on mindfully enjoying yourself. Planning a field trip can be almost as fun as going on one. A field trip is an excursion to look forward to and an experience to be savored after the fact. Wherever you decide to go and whatever you decide to do, going on a field trip can add much pleasure and excitement to your life. Published with permission from Daily OM ************************************************** A Day At A Time Reflection For The Day We’ve all had times when we felt alienated, when it seemed we had nowhere to turn and no one to turn to. When we don’t know which way to turn, when there seems to be no one to help us, even then we’re not alone or without help, the presence of God is always with us. When we need strength or courage or comfort, God is there with us as the help we need. Even before we turn to God, His love reaches out to us; His loving Spirit in us hears our cry and answers us. Do I truly believe that I no longer need be alone? Today I Pray May I never be alone, even in a place by myself, if I take time to talk to my Higher Power. May He be my companion, my joy, my ever-present help in trouble. May the knowledge of His constant presence fill me with calm, so that I will not fear either the solitude of my own room or alienation in a roomful of people. Today I Will Remember Listen for the presence of God. ************************************************** One More Day Very few live by choice. Every man is placed in his present condition by causes which acted without his foresight, and with which he did not always willingly operate. – Samuel Johnson How does a person cope with a chronic illness? Our lives are formed by the events around us; these events often move forward of their own volition, without our permission or even our willingness. Now that the problem is obvious, living with that change will test our characters. Those of us who have learned to cope with radically altered lifestyles and who can still love, laugh, and cry are survivors. We may not like our portion in life, but we are determined to handle it well. I haven’t chosen all the changes in my life, but I can choose to accept the changes and to live a warm and sharing life. |
May 29
You are reading from the book Today's Gift. The only people who never fail are those who never try. --Ilka Chase A boy once asked his grandfather how he had become so happy and successful in his life. "Right decisions," replied his grandfather. The boy thought for a while and then asked a second question, "But how do you learn to make right decisions?" The grandfather answered quickly with a twinkle in his eye, "Wrong decisions!" We, too, will learn from our "wrong decisions," our mistakes. Whenever we try anything, there is always the possibility of failure. We must learn to not let this keep us from trying. When we are willing to try, we have already conquered our fear. We can grow no matter what the outcome is. What failure have I turned into success? You are reading from the book Touchstones. We cannot approach prayer as we do everything else in our push button, instant society. There are no prayer pills or enlightenment capsules. --Janie Gustafson Prayer is the relationship between each man and his Higher Power. Our approach to this relationship is guided by our understanding of God. How other men and women have prayed and related to God throughout history may guide us today. Any relationship is a process, not a momentary event with an instantaneous outcome. It builds with repeated contact and dialogue. With give and take, prayer is our honesty encountering God and our openness hearing God expressed on God's terms. Like any relationship, prayer includes all our feelings - anger, fear, and mistrust, as well as generosity, goodwill, and gratitude. Gradually, we see the events of our lives through the wisdom and detachment our spiritual relationship provides. I return now to my dialogue with God, asking only for knowledge of God's will and the power to carry it out. You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning. Women sometimes gossip when they want to get close to people. --Joan Gilbertson Feeling alone and lonely heightens our fears of inadequacy. In our alienation from others, paranoia grips us. We yearn to feel connection with someone, and gossip about another someone can draw two lonely people close. We are bonded. We need a sense of belonging, every one of us: belonging to the neighborhood; belonging to the staff where we work; belonging to the group we call friends. Knowing that we do belong fosters the inner warmth that accompanies security, well-being. And our fears are melted. The program's Fifth, Ninth, and Tenth Steps guarantee that we'll feel the closeness we long for when we work them. Self-revelation strengthens our ties to the people we long to connect with Gossip loses its appeal when we know we share a closeness already. Mingling our vulnerabilities secures our closeness. We need to be attentive to our judgments of others, be they verbalized in gossip or only savored in silence. These judgments act as barometers of our own self-image. Our security in knowing we belong, that we are one, relieves us of the need to judge others unfairly. Loneliness pushes me to behavior that even compounds the loneliness. Real closeness will come when I talk about myself rather than someone else. You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go. Powerlessness and Unmanageability Willpower is not the key to the way of life we are seeking. Surrender is. I have spent much of my life trying to make people be, do, or feel something they aren't, don't want to do, and choose not to feel. I have made them, and myself, crazy in that process, said one recovering woman. I spent my childhood trying to make an alcoholic father who didn't love himself be a normal person who loved me. I then married an alcoholic and spent a decade trying to make him stop drinking. I have spent years trying to make emotionally unavailable people be emotionally present for me. I have spent even more years trying to make family members, who are content feeling miserable, happy. What Im saying is this: I've spent much of my life desperately and vainly trying to do the impossible and feeling like a failure when I couldn't. Its been like planting corn and trying to make the seeds grow peas. Wont work! By surrendering to powerlessness, I gain the presence of mind to stop wasting my time and energy trying to change and control that which I cannot change and control. It gives me permission to stop trying to do the impossible and focus on what is possible: being who I am, loving myself, feeling what I feel, and doing what I want to do with my life. In recovery, we learn to stop fighting lions, simply because we cannot win. We also learn that the more we are focused on controlling and changing others, the more unmanageable our life becomes. The more we focus on living our own life, the more we have a life to live, and the more manageable our life will become. Today, I will accept powerlessness where I have no power to change things, and Ill allow my life to become manageable. Today I will be gentle with myself as I meditate and look within. I will look at my inner self lovingly and without judgement as I find the blocks that have kept me stuck. --Ruth Fishel ************************************************** Journey to the Heart Let the Past Slip Away Gently, lovingly, leave past moments behind. You can’t lose love. You don’t need to hang on so tightly. If the lesson has been learned, if it is time to move on, let the past slip away. Come into the present moment. Discover all that’s there for you. Clinging to the lessons, people, and feelings from yesterday will keep you tired, confused, and afraid. Shed the tears that need to be shed. Feeling your grief will help you bring about your transformation. Then say your good-byes. Be glad you had the experience you did. Be gratefu for all you’ve learned about yourself, about love. Then gently move into today. Stop believing in loss. Start believing in life. Let the past slip away. Come gently into now. ************************************************** More language of letting go Say when it’s time to seek shelter There’s a saying that a boat may be safe when it’s in harbor, but that isn’t what boats were made for. But let’s not forget the value of safe harbors either. A wise sailor knows the limits of each boat and will seek shelter if the weather becomes more than it can bear. Seeking out new experiences, meeting new people, living life to its fullest is one of the best reasons for being alive. The purpose of recovering from addictions and learning to take care of ourselves isn’t to keep us stuck perpetually in therapy. It’s to free us to live our lives. But we need to be aware of our limits. And there is no reason to put yourself into a situation of unnecessary risk. Only you can be the judge of that in your life. We each have different levels of freedom and similar but unique needs. A strong ocean liner can weather much stronger storms than a small powerboat. You may be able to withstand more or less pressure than someone else. Push your limits occasionally; that’s how we grow and change. But know what those limits are, and be willing to seek shelter when the storms come. You are not alone. Whether through meditation or prayer; secular or religious support groups. Twelve Step or self-help meetings, a harbor exists in which you can ride out the storms and remain strong to sail the exciting waters of life another day. Do you know where your harbors are? Lives are meant to be lived, so live yours as fully as you can. But remember that you cannot live fully when you’re recovering from storm damage. Be bold, but be safe. God, help me be aware during times of stress that a safe harbor exists. Activity: List your safe harbors. Examples of this might be friendships that are completely safe and supportive, support groups, prayer, meditation, and places of worship. How often do you need to connect with these harbors to keep yourself in good shape? Be aware that when you go through periods of stress and distress– and these times appear frequently in our lives– you might need to seek extra shelter to keep yourself safe from the storm. ************************************************** Opening the Door Fighting Against Our Gifts by Madisyn Taylor To stop fighting your natural gifts listen to your internal voice and respond to the knocking universe at the door. As human beings we often have a tendency to fight against using our natural gifts. Many stories of success start with an individual who is ignoring the call of his or her inborn abilities. There are many possible reasons for this resistance, from fear that the calling will be too difficult to a disbelief in the very work one is being asked to do. We may feel too small, too distracted by other people’s ideas about what we should do, or too uninformed. Whatever the case, the resistance to actualizing ourselves has very concrete consequences, and many of us have been called out of hiding by an illness or a twist of fate that unequivocally dismantled our resistance. In other the words, the universe knocks, and if we don’t answer it knocks louder. For example, if you are meant to be a psychic or a medium, and you aren’t using that gift, you may get headaches. If you are meant to be a healer and are trying to be a lawyer, you may have trouble getting or keeping a job. This doesn’t mean that you can’t still be a lawyer, but perhaps integrating your gifts into your work is what is calling you. On the other hand, you may simply feel an underlying anxiety that you are not on the right path, doing the right thing. Pay attention to this feeling, and ask for guidance from the universe, being open to all its communications, from subtle internal yearnings to powerful dreams. As you begin to risk opening the door to your natural gifts, your life situation may shift in a powerful way. However, you may find that small steps in the right direction, such as taking a class or setting aside one night a week to paint or write, is enough for now. The first step on the journey to our calling in life is to listen to our internal voices and respond to the knocking universe at the door. As we do, the symptoms and anxieties that have haunted us will fade into the background, replaced by opportunities, both big and small, to open the door to what we are truly here to do. Published with permission from Daily OM ************************************************** A Day At A Time Reflection For The Day When we fist reached The Program and for the first time in our lives stood among people who seemed to understand, the sense of belonging was exhilarating. We felt that the problem of isolation had been solved. We soon discovered, however, that while we weren’t alone any more, in a social sense, we still suffered many of the old pangs of anxious apartness. Until we had talked with complete candor of our conflicts, and had listened to someone else do the same thing, we still didn’t belong. Step Five was the answer. Have I found through the Fifth step the beginning of true kinship with my fellows and God? Today I Pray May God help me learn to share myself, my attributes and my failings, not just as I take the Fifth Step but in a continuing give-and-take process with my friends. May I cultivate an attitude of openness and honesty with others, now that I have begun to be honest with myself. May I remember who I used to be — the child in a game of hide-and-seek, who hid so well that nobody could find her/him and everyone gave up trying and went home. Today I Will Remember I will be open to friendships. ************************************************** One More Day There is a period of life when we swallow a knowledge of ourselves and it becomes either good or sour inside. – Pearl Bailey We have a tendency to hold on to those dreams, goals, and images we had when we were young. When we accept the reality of what our lives have become — good or bad — we are finally adult. It’s far easier to accept external realities than our deeper, more personal internal realities. Accepting that we are never going to be tall or agile or rich is simpler than admitting that we are selfish or angry or unkind. Perhaps the external things are easier because there is nothing we can do to change them, and we resist admitting to character defects because those can be changed. We may not like what we see, but if we swallow that bitter pill we are able to change. I will ignore my fear and admit to the good and bad within me. This gives me the freedom to change. |
May 30
You are reading from the book Today's Gift. The cut worm forgives the plow. --William Blake Would anyone believe that rain abuses grass, or accuse roots, hungry for a better hold on life, of digging too far into earth's flesh? And if the earth should have to quake, would anyone blame it for cracking here and there? Look closely at the small world of busy life overturned in the garden each spring. No ant there curses another bug, and no worm curses itself. Though they can neither speak nor think, even small creatures know enough to accept their pain as a natural part of life. Why, then, should we waste time blaming others, or ourselves, for the natural sensations of life? In the process of new growth, can we expect no pain? You are reading from the book Touchstones. A frontier is never a place; it is a time and a way of life. Frontiers pass, but they endure in their people. --Hal Borland Frontiers are borders, and in our development we meet them again and again. Our first loves as teenagers were emotional and spiritual frontiers. Leaving home after childhood was another. Becoming a father, perhaps another. Some frontiers are very generous and exciting, while others are frightening, dangerous. Certainly this program has been a frontier for us. To stay alive spiritually we need to continually go to the borders of our experience - or go back and face an old one from a new angle. We may encounter a new border in learning God's will for us in a new way, or in learning a new handicraft or sport, or meeting a life experience we didn't expect. We accumulate these memories within us. Some frontiers from long ago exist within us as if they were just yesterday. What frontiers stand out in our lives as we look back? What spiritual learning came from them? This is how we grow as men. I am grateful for past frontiers that endure within me. They have strengthened and deepened my manhood. You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning. In anxiety-provoking situations, many women feel unable to act. They find themselves at a loss to come up with an effective response, or any response at all. --Stanlee Phelps and Nancy Austin Feeling unable to act is a humiliation, perhaps an embarrassment, and it is habit-forming. Perhaps our inertia is due to our need to act "correctly" and the accompanying fear that we'll err. Unfortunately, our fear of action reinforces itself. The only way to end the vicious cycle is to act--right or wrong. The surprise in store for us is that no action we take will be truly wrong. We will learn not only from the action itself, but from its ripples. The response to life we make through action will gratify us; it will nourish us and will make us dread less the next situation that calls for a response. Opportunities for action are the stepping stones to emotional maturity. The more we "act," the more able we are to act. And a new habit is formed. Taking action, even when I fear it's wrong, is growth-producing. Without growth there is no life. Today, I will live! You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go. Commitment As we walk through life, there are many things and people we may lose, or lose out on, if we are unwilling to commit. We need to make a commitment for relationships to grow beyond the dating stage, to have the home or apartment we want, the job we want, or the car we desire. We must commit, on deep levels, to careers, to goals, to family, friends, and recovery. Trying something will not enable us to succeed. Committing ourselves will. Yet, we need never commit before we are ready. Sometimes, our fear of commitment is telling us something. We may not want to commit to a particular relationship, purchase, or career. Other times, it is a matter of our fears working their way out. Wait, then. Wait until the issue becomes clear. Trust yourself. Ask your Higher Power to remove your fear of commitment. Ask God to remove your blocks to commitment. Ask God for guidance. Ask yourself if you are willing to lose what you will not commit to. Then listen, quietly. And wait until a decision seems consistently right and comfortable. We need to be able to commit, but we need never commit until we are ready. Trust that you will commit when you want to. God, guide me in making my commitments. Give me the courage to make those that are right for me, the wisdom to not commit to that which does not feel right, and the patience to wait until I know. I am putting a large STOP sign to all my negative self-talk today. --Ruth Fishel ************************************************** Journey to the Heart Open Your Heart She laughed so much she made me giggle. “Do you laugh and smile all the time?” I asked the woman. “Are you this happy all the time?” “My heart is open and healed,” she said. “I laugh a lot. But I cry a lot,too.” An open heart feels all it needs to feel. Cry when it hurts. At the end of your tears, you will see more clearly, Tears clear our eyes and our heart. Cry whenever you need to. Laugh often, as often as you can. Laugh with friends. Laugh out loud. The discoveries, the growth, the insights, the closeness, the sharing, the learning don’t have to be such serious, somber events. Truth is discovered most often in laughter. Bonds are formed. Love becomes unveiled. Cry a lot. Laugh a lot. Let life reveal its mysteries to you. Let love find you, course through you, touch all you meet through your laughter and tears. The fortunate person is not the one who wins the lottery. That’s luck. We find fortune when we open our hearts and learn the secret of life. Laughter and tears are the signs of an open heart. ************************************************** More language of letting go Give yourself time Set deadlines. Say when. Stop waiting for that perfect time. Be gentle with yourselves and others. Too much waiting is a trap. Waiting, counting the days, months, years, waiting for someone or something outside of ourselves to make us happy and magically bring us what we want is a pit. If you fall into it, climb out. But be gentle with yourself,too. If you’re tackling something new– whether it’s learning a new craft, beginning a new relationship, or recovering from alcoholism or codependency, give yourself time to reach your goals, to begin to get it, to understand. Some revelations, insights, and illuminations are received in a moment, a second. But the work of assimilating new ideas and translating them into lifestyle changes takes time. A friend of mine called me one day. He had lost his best friend and roommate to a sudden illness three months earlier. “What’s wrong with me?” he said. “My spiritual beliefs are intact. I work hard on myself. Yet I break down crying, for no reason. I’m a wreck. Why aren’t I over this yet?” “Because it takes time,” I said. “Give that gift to yourself.” The seeds of change grow gently, sometimes almost imperceptibly. Birth takes time. Transformation takes time. You are being transformed and reborn. Give yourself and others the gift of time. God, help me let go of unrealistic expectations of how quickly I, or others, need to grow and change. Help me know that I have all the time I need. ************************************************** Fill Yourself from the Inside Out Tending Your Own Energy Field by Madisyn Taylor The very best way to tend to your own energy field is to spread your own heart light and fill yourself up. Life presents us with many opportunities to gain mastery in tending our own energy fields. At times we may want to protect ourselves by using energy shields of color, light or angelic presence. Or in order to become more grounded, we may run energy down through our feet or first chakra, rooting ourselves to the earth. Sometimes it’s appropriate to play openly with others in an expansive, flowing state; and at other times, we may want to limit our availability to a chosen few. In certain public environments such as graduation ceremonies, work conventions, or even weddings, it may be important to remain open-hearted and able to connect, while still preventing our individual systems from depletion or overwhelm. In these situations, rather than putting a barrier between ourselves and the world around us, we can fill our energy fields from the inside out. In doing this, we become so filled with our own personal energy that no room is left for outside influences or discordant ener! gy to enter in and affect us. When you need to connect with people on a one-to-one basis, separate from the bustling environment around you, here is a visualization technique you might try. You can start in the morning and repeat any time as needed. Begin by taking a few moments to breathe deeply and relax. When you are calm and present, envision a ball of light in your solar plexus area just above your belly button. Allow it to build there, growing stronger and stronger. Eventually, allow the light to expand throughout the rest of your body until it fills your entire physical and energetic field. By filling yourself with your own energy in this way, you become fortified with your own power. You retain access to all of your intuitive and mental abilities. And, you are able to act from a loving space in the midst of any situation. Published with permission from Daily OM ************************************************** A Day At A Time Reflection For The Day Since I’ve been in The Program, I’ve learned to redefine love. I’ve come to understand, for example, that sometimes it’s necessary to place love ahead of indiscriminate “factual honesty.” No longer, under the guise of “perfect honesty,” can I cruelly and unnecessarily hurt others. Today, I always must ask myself, “What’s the best and most loving thing I can do?” Have I begun to sow the seeds of love in my daily living? Today I Pray May God, in His live, show me how to be loving. May I first sense the feelings of love and caring within me and then find ways to show those feelings. May I remember how many times I cut myself off from relationships because I did not know how either to let myself feel love or to show what I did feel. Today I Will Remember When I feel love, I will be loving. ************************************************** One More Day I expect to pass through life but once. If, therefore, there can be any kindness I can show, or any good thing I can do to any fellow human being, let me do it now. – William Penn Each night, as we place our heads upon our pillows, we can think back over the day and remember the things we said or did that added pleasure to others’ lives. Usually, those same words and actions add joy to our lives too. During our lives we have passed by multiple opportunities to be kind to others — there are no second chances. But what we can do is be aware of those special opportunities now and make the very best of them. My new awareness of life’s fleeting opportunities will help me show my kinder side more often. |
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