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August 16
You are reading from the book Today's Gift. I'll be the sun upon your head, The wind about your face, My love upon the path you tread, And upon your wanderings, peace. --Gordon Bok Today I will feel. I will feel wind and water, earth and sun. I will feel rain, the taste of it, and the soft sting of its coolness. I will feel the familiar touch of my shirt against my skin, my hair across my face in the wind. Today I will feel love like a candle on a birthday cake that never goes out. No matter how much you blow on it. I will feel compassion like a toothache, a dull pain that lets me go about my business but never goes away. I will feel joy and sorrow, pain, and pleasure. Today I will feel. I will feel like a human being, unique as a snowflake, common as grass. How many different ways do I feel today? You are reading from the book Touchstones. We did not all come over on the same ship, but we were all in the same boat. --Bernard M. Baruch As we listen to others' stories and tell our own, we see roads into this program are different. Some of us hit bottom. Others were spared the worst catastrophes, getting the message of recovery early. In the final analysis, we are all in the same boat with our powerlessness. The differences are superficial. There is no higher or lower status for anyone in our program. When it comes to the power of our addictions and co dependencies, we are equally in need of help from our Higher Power. Perhaps there was a time when we felt totally alone with our problems. But we were alone just like thousands of others needing recovery. Because we all have suffered and know our need for help, we can now have a caring and supportive group. We can turn to our brothers and sisters in the program knowing that they are in the same boat, and they will understand. No one else provides that kind of healing relationship. I am grateful for the closeness I have with others who are in the same boat with me. You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning. Love is a force. It is not a result; it is a cause. It is not a product; it produces. It is a power, like money, or steam or electricity. It is valueless unless you can give something else by means of it. --Anne Morrow Lindbergh Love and feeling loved--how often both elude us! We have taken the first step, though. Let's be grateful for our recovery; this is an act of love. We have chosen to love ourselves, and the program opens the way to our loving others. Love and loving are balms for the soul sickness we experience. We are being healed. We are healing one another. Loving others means going beyond our own selfish concerns, for the moment, and putting others' concerns first. The result is that others feel our love. They feel a caring that is healing. And our spiritual natures are likewise soothed. We find God and ourselves through touching the souls of one another. Our most special gift is being loved and giving love. Every moment we spend with another person is gift-giving time. Every day is a gift-giving holiday, if I will but make it so. You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go. Rescuing Ourselves No one likes a martyr. How do we feel around martyrs? Guilty, angry, trapped, negative, and anxious to get away. Somehow, many of us have developed the belief that depriving ourselves, not taking care of ourselves, being a victim, and suffering needlessly will get us what we want. It is our job to notice our abilities, our strengths, and take care of ourselves by developing and acting on them. It is our job to notice our pain and weariness and appropriately take care of ourselves. It is our job to notice our deprivation, too, and begin to take steps to give ourselves abundance. It begins inside of us, by changing what we believe we deserve, by giving up our deprivation and treating ourselves the way we deserve to be treated. Life is hard, but we don't have to make it more difficult by neglecting ourselves. There is no glory in suffering, only suffering. Our pain will not stop when a rescuer comes, but when we take responsibility for ourselves and stop our own pain. Today, I will be my own rescuer. I will stop waiting for someone else to work through my issues and solve my problems for me. It feels so good to know I'm making my own decisions and following my own path. My Higher Power is my guide and my inner voice is my teacher and my soul. --Ruth Fishel ***** Journey to the Heart Tap into the Creative Flow Life is creative, and so are you. Let the creative energy of the universe come alive for you. Let it help you bring your creativity alive. Let it bring you the answers, the direction, the guidance you need to create. Let it bring you your ingredients. What are you trying to create? A more loving, open relationship? More spiritual growth? A new job? A book? A new home? A friendship? A play? A song? A quilt? A meal? A budget? Ask the universe for the help you need. Ask it to help you find your ingredients; ask it to help you form your vision, get clear on your ideas, and produce the best creation you can. Your answer may come quickly. As we grow and embrace our connection to the universe, as we embrace our connection to ourselves, we find many of our answers appearing almost immediately. If the answer doesn't come right away, don't try to force it. The help will come. The idea will come. The next ingredient for your creation will appear. Sometimes the answer will come softly, almost as a whisper. Other times the guidance will be loud and clear. You will see and hear the guidance clearly and easily when you continue to love yourself. Tap into the creative energy of the universe. It will help you tap into your own. To tap into God and the creative force, just tap into your heart. ***** more language of letting go Thanks for my heart "Last Thursday, I was able to find the courage to end a relationship I had been struggling with. I knew there was nowhere for it to go, and I was seeing some scary character traits in this person. Now, I am dealing with a lot of sadness. That tells me that the urge we humans have for bonding with each other, and the desire for companionship, must be incredibly strong. I am grateful even more than I am sad." It was just a short message on the on-line bulletin board I maintained at the hazeldon.org Web site. That's all the woman needed to say. For me, the lesson was clear and complete: be grateful for our hearts. God, thank you for the ability and desire to love. Love is a cherished gift from you. ***** Burning Brightly Allowing Your Soul to Shine by Madisyn Taylor When we hide and try to be invisible and unseen by all we are only really hiding from ourselves. At times, we’ve all wanted to crawl under a rock and hide away from the world. We may have preferred to be invisible rather than let other people see us or notice that we exist. This desire not to be seen often happens when we are feeling very hurt, angry, or simply weary of the world. And while we may console ourselves with the defense that we are shy, an introvert, or a loner, we may actually be hiding. When we hide and make believe that we are invisible, we can think that we no one sees us even though, truthfully, we are only really hiding from ourselves. And while we may try to live life as inconspicuously as possible, we only succeed in becoming more conspicuous because people can’t help but notice that we are trying to hide our light. None of us are meant to hide; each one of us radiates a unique brilliance that is meant to illuminate the world. When we try to dim our light, we diminish the natural radiance of the Universe, and we deprive the people around us of the unique gifts and talents that we are here to share. Stepping out of the wings and letting your light shine is actually a way to serve the planet. We each have a responsibility to contribute to our community, and we do this when we let ourselves be seen. It doesn’t do anyone any good when we try to hide. We are all beings of light and we are here to light the way for each other. When we let ourselves shine, we become a bright mirror that others can see their own reflected brilliance through, and they can’t help but want to shine also. Shine your light out into the world, bless those around you by sharing your gifts, and watch the universe glow. Published with permission from Daily OM ************************************************** **************** A Day At A Time August 16 Reflection For The Day Inventory-taking isn’t always done in red ink. It’s a rare day when we haven’t done something right. As I uncover and face my shortcomings, my many good qualities will be revealed to me also, reminding me that they have the same reality as my faults. Even when we’ve tried hard and failed, for instance, we can chalk that up as one of the greatest credits of all. I’ll try to appreciate my good qualities, because they not only offset the faults, but give me a foundation on which to grow. It’s just as self-deceptive to discount what’s good in us as to justify what is not. Can I take comfort in my positive qualities, accepting myself as a friend? Today I Pray If I find only defects when I look in that Fourth Step mirror, may I be sure that I am missing something — namely my good points. Although my ultra-modesty may be just approved socially, may I learn that it is just as dishonest as rationalizing away my faults. Even an out-and-out failure, if examined from all sides, may turn up a plus along with the obvious minuses. Today I Will Remember To give myself, if not a A for effort, at least an average B minus. ************************************************** **************** One More Day August 16 Be not afraid of life. Believe that life is worth living and your belief will help create the fact. – William James The words “life is worth living” may seem inappropriate to someone who has a serious personal conflict. A pat on the shoulder or a hug just isn’t enough to convince us that all we are going through makes life “worth living.” A sense of worthiness is an ongoing process. And the value of life is affirmed and strengthened by our willingness to listen to our emotional and physical needs – especially when we feel unhappy or unhealthy. That willingness is shown in action. A cup of coffee and a good cry with a close friend, acceptance of our Higher Powers wisdom and care, or seeking help from a trained professional — all of these actions say, “I and my life have worth.” By helping myself, I will act on my belief that life is worth living. ************************************************** **************** Food For Thought Today Is the Day Many of us have spent most of our lives dreaming of the day when we would be thin and attractive and able to do the things we want to do. We have put off living to some indefinite time in the future. As long as we were fat, we had a reason to avoid challenges and delay satisfactions. By not attempting to realize our dreams, we averted the risks of failure and the possibilities of success. The OA program teaches us how to live today. One step at a time, we begin today to do the things we were putting off until tomorrow. We learn that we can live now, day by day, instead of waiting for the future. Abstaining from compulsive overeating brings self-respect and determination to develop our unique potential. The time to get a job, take dancing lessons, be a friend – that time is now, today. Thank You for the opportunities of today. |
August 17
You are reading from the book Today's Gift. The word image is nothing more than the French word for picture. --Roseann Lloyd A positive image of our family can help us imagine healthy relationships. It can help us appreciate our family when it is working in a healthy way. One woman took up looking at the pictures in her mind. At last she found one for her family, after considering ordinary pictures like a garden, a team, and a zoo. When her family is happy and thriving, she sees it as a mud pot in Yellowstone Park. Each person is energetic and relaxed. Each is free to bubble up ideas and feelings and projects, free to spout off, gurgle, and pop! Yet the family is together, sharing one old mud hole, warm and cozy, surrounded by beautiful pine trees. Can I think of an image for my family? You are reading from the book Touchstones. Life is change ... Growth is optional... Choose wisely... --Karen Kaiser Clark We can certainly count on change. We become fathers, our children become more independent, we make new friends, and other friends move away. When a man clings too tightly to the status quo or tries to control the direction of change, he is bound to be disappointed. We are like skiers on a mountain. We must continue down the slope. We can vary our speed somewhat, but if we stop for too long we will get cold or hungry; if we ski too fast, we may have a serious fall. Part of the pleasure is in not being able to control or predict every circumstance we will meet. We don't control which loved ones come into our lives and which ones go or whether we become ill or stay healthy. We don't control life's opportunities. We can control how we choose to respond to these transitions. Whatever happens can be used for growth and we can commit ourselves to use all experiences that way. Today, I will not try to control change but will choose to use whatever happens for growth. You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning. Life is not always what one wants it to be, but to make the best of it as it is, is the only way of being happy. --Jennie Jerome Churchill We are generally so certain that we know what's best for ourselves. And we are just as often certain that what we think is best will guarantee happiness. Perhaps we should reflect on all the times in the past when our wishes didn't come true--fortunately. Did any one of us expect to be doing today, what we each are doing? We may have expected children, a particular kind of home, a certain career, but did we really anticipate all that life has wrought? Addiction, and then recovery from it, was probably not in our pictures. But it does fit into the big picture. The happiness we experience today probably doesn't visit us in the way we anticipated a few years back. But it is measured out according to our needs. The choice to be happy with what is, is ours to make, every moment. I can take life as it is, and trust that it is just right, just what it needs to be. The big picture guarantees me lasting happiness. Today's experiences will move me a step closer. You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go. Healing Thoughts Think healing thoughts. When you feel anger or resentment, ask God to help you feel it, learn from it, and then release it. Ask Him to bless those who you feel anger toward. Ask Him to bless you too. When you feel fear, ask Him to take it from you. When you feel misery, force gratitude. When you feel deprived, know that there is enough. When you feel ashamed, reassure yourself that who you are is okay. You are good enough. When you doubt your timing or your present position in life, assure yourself that all is well; you are right where you're meant to be. Reassure yourself that others are too. When you ponder the future, tell yourself that it will be good. When you look back at the past, relinquish regrets. When you notice problems, affirm there will be a timely solution and a gift from the problem. When you resist feelings or thoughts, practice acceptance. When you feel discomfort, know it will pass. When you identify a want or a need, tell yourself it will be met. When you worry about those you love, ask God to protect and care for them. When you worry about yourself, ask Him to do the same. When you think about others, think love. When you think about yourself, think love. Then watch your thoughts transform reality. Today, I will think healing thoughts. Today I know that whatever is in my life I have put there and therefore I can let it go as well. Today I have faith and trust that I can take an honest look at what needs to be changed in my life. --Ruth Fishel ***** Journey to the Heart Let the Shifts Happen I listened as the tour guide explained the crack, the huge gaping rupture in the earth's surface as we traveled along Bryce Canyon. My mind traveled back to an earthquake that shook southern California in January 1994. Earthquakes are reminders that life shifts, moves, changes places. Sometimes the shifts are gradual and begin slowly, like the gaping hole in Bryce Canyon that started with a tiny split. Sometimes, as in the California earthquake, the shifts happen in an instant. We don't know in advance about, and can't plan for the shift. But there's one thing we can count on. Just as nature shifts and moves into new shapes and forms, so do we. Sometimes our shifts happen suddenly. Other times, they take place over years, beginning almost imperceptibly. As we move into increased self-awareness, we will become more aware of these shifts. We'll know, see, and feel when they're taking place. We may not know where they're leading, but we'll know something's afoot. The more we value and trust life, the more we can count on these shifts to lead us forward and trust the new shape being formed in our lives. The more flexible we become, the more we allow for these shifts and work with them instead of against them, the easier they will be. Life is always moving, changing, shifting into its next shape. The movement is natural. It is how we evolve. Let the shift happen. Take responsibility for yourself each step of the way. Trust the new shape and form of your world. ***** more language of letting go Get out of the nest The mother eagle teaches her little ones to fly by making their nest so uncomfortable that they are forced to leave it and commit themselves to the unknown world of air outside. And just so does our God to us. --Hannah Whitall Smith Sometimes, the pressure comes from within us. Sometimes, it's external. That job folds. The relationship stops working. Alcohol and drugs stop working. What am I going to do? Oh, I see. God's teaching me to fly again. Thank you God, for pushing me out of the nest. ***** Taking the Risk Permission to Be Real by Madisyn Taylor When we present ourselves to the world without a mask and keep it real, we offer the same opportunity for others to do the same. Most of us are familiar with the idea of keeping it real and have an intuitive sense about what that means. People who keep it real don’t hide behind a mask to keep themselves safe from their fear of how they might be perceived. They don’t present a false self in order to appear more perfect, more powerful, or more independent. People who keep it real present themselves as they truly are, the good parts and the parts most of us would rather hide, sharing their full selves with the people who are lucky enough to know them. Being real in this way is not an easy thing to do as we live in a culture that often shows us images of physical and material perfection. As a result, we all want to look younger, thinner, wealthier, and more successful. We are rewarded externally when we succeed at this masquerade, but people who are real remind us that, internally, we suffer. Whenever we feel that who we are is not enough and that we need to be bigger, better, or more exciting, we send a message to ourselves that we are not enough. Meanwhile, people who are not trying to be something more than they are walk into a room and bring a feeling of ease, humor, and warmth with them. They acknowledge their wrinkles and laugh at their personal eccentricities without putting themselves down. People like this inspire us to let go of our own defenses and relax for a moment in the truth of who we really are. In their presence, we feel safe enough to take off our masks and experience the freedom of not hiding behind a barrier. Those of us who were lucky enough to have a parent who was able to keep it real may find it easier to be that way ourselves. The rest of us may have to work a little harder to let go of our pretenses and share the beauty and humor of our real selves. Our reward for taking such a risk is that as we do, we will attract and inspire others, giving them the permission to be real too. Published with permission from Daily OM ************************************************** *************** A Day At A Time August 17 Reflection For The Day The Fourth Step suggest we make a searching and fearless moral inventory — not an immoral inventory of ourselves. The Steps are guidelines to recovery, not whipping posts for self-flagellation. Taking my inventory doesn’t mean concentrating on my shortcomings until all the good is hidden from view. By the same token, recognizing the good need not be an act of pride or conceit. If I recognize my good qualities as God-given, I can take an inventory with true humility while experiencing satisfaction in what is pleasant, loving and generous in me. Will I try to believe, in Walt Whitman’s words, that “I am larger, better than I thought; I did not know I held so much goodness…”? Today I Pray When I find good things about myself, as I undertake this inner archaeological dig, may I give credit where it is due — to God, who is the giver of all good. May I appreciate whatever is good about me with humility, as a gift from God. Today I Will Remember Goodness is a gift from God ************************************************** **************** One More Day August 17 Sadness is almost never anything but a form of fatigue. – Andre Gide There are times in every life when the road gets a little bumpy. Occasionally we become so overwhelmed with work, with life in general, that we become exhausted. With fatigue can come sadness — sadness at not being able to work the way we expected to, sadness at not looking or feeling as well as we want to, or sadness caused by grieving. We may feel sorry for ourselves or feel nearly paralyzed by fatigue. We can recognize that fatigue is one of the many forms that sadness takes. Feeling of sorrow or helplessness can be diminished by confiding them to a friend or to a physician. We can only be as well as we expect to be — as well as we allow ourselves to be. When I feel very fatigued or sad, I can be open and honest about my problem. Hiding behind fatigue only causes sadness. ************************************************** *************** Food For Thought Punishing Ourselves Most of us have been carrying around a load of guilt. We felt guilty about overeating and periodically used dieting as a form of self-punishment. We felt guilty about not being perfect, and we felt guilty unless we said yes to everything that everyone expected of us. In this program, we learn to accept the fact that we are human and not perfect. Through the Steps, we are able to get rid of unnecessary guilt and make a fresh start each day. We do not need to continue to punish ourselves for past mistakes, either by overeating or by denying our legitimate rights as individuals. Abstinence gives us freedom from compulsive overeating and freedom from self-punishment. We give our bodies what they need, and we also nourish our minds, hearts, and spirits. In our fellowship and in our contact with God as we understand Him, we experience the Power of love which wipes out guilt. I am glad to learn that self-punishment is no longer necessary. |
August 18
You are reading from the book Today's Gift. Large streams from little fountains flow. --David Everett Somewhere nearby, no matter where we are, runs a creek. We've seen plenty of them, narrow and rocky. In summer it's hardly a creek at all, but in the spring, it feeds a mighty river. Each of us is like that creek, a trickle contributing to some greater plan. Sometimes we feel dried up, contributing nothing. Often we feel small, rocky, not up to the task--when we can understand what the task is. Sometimes the task seems too simple--get up each morning, love and work and live the day as honestly as we can. What kind of contribution is that? Sometimes it seems too complicated. How much more we could contribute if we could see the whole river--where it begins and ends--if we knew what would happen tomorrow. So we ebb and flow. And in our moments of contentment, we know we are doing the best we can each day. What contribution, however small, can I offer the world today? You are reading from the book Touchstones. The years forever fashion new dreams when old ones go. God pity the one dream man. --Robert Goddard A painful loss can seem like the end of hope for us. It is true that the place a loved one had in our lives will never be filled. The loss of a job may dash a dream that will not come true - at least not as we thought it would. The aging of our body ends physical strength, and we lose options that will not come around a second time. Yet, change is a basic fact of life. We must empty a glass before we can fill it with something else. Our spiritual task is to become less rigid in our attachments and more accepting of the flow of life. When we look straight at our losses and allow ourselves to cry and grieve over them, we are saying good-bye and letting go. Grief cleanses the soul and frees us to move on to new dreams. The loss of a job may put us in a position to discover undreamed of possibilities. In time, the loss of a love heals, and it deepens our relationship with our Higher Power and with our other friends. The other side of grief is freedom, and we are learning to have many new dreams in our lives. I pray for the freedom that comes with having dreams in my life. You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning. Today was like a shadow. It lurked behind me. It's now gone forever. Why is it that time is such a difficult thing to befriend? --Mary Casey Each passing minute is all that we are certain of having. The choice is ever present to relish the moment, reaping fully whatever its benefits, knowing that we are being given just what we need each day of our lives. We must not pass up what is offered today. Time accompanies us like a friend, though often a friend denied or ignored. We can't recapture what was offered yesterday. It's gone. All that stands before us is here, now. We can nurture the moment and know that the pain and pleasures offered us with each moment are our friends, the teachers our inner selves await. And we can be mindful that this time, this combination of events and people, won't come again. They are the gift of the present. We can be grateful. We miss the opportunities the day offers because we don't recognize the experiences as the lesson designed for the next stage of our development. The moment's offerings are just, necessary, and friendly to our spiritual growth. I will take today in my arms and love it. I will love all it offers; it is a friend bearing gifts galore. You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go. Valuing this Moment Detachment involves present moment living - living in the here and now. We allow life to happen instead of forcing and trying to control it. We relinquish regrets over the past and fears about the future. We make the most of each day. --Codependent No More This moment, we are right where we need to be, right where we are meant to be. How often we waste our time and energy wishing we were someone else, were doing something else, or were someplace else. We may wish our present circumstances were different. We needlessly confuse ourselves and divert our energy by thinking that our present moment is a mistake. But we are right where we need to be for now. Our feelings, thoughts, circumstances, challenges, and tasks - all of it is on schedule. We spoil the beauty of the present moment by wishing for something else. Come back home to yourself. Come back home to the present moment. We will not change things by escaping or leaving the moment. We will change things by surrendering to and accepting the moment. Some moments are easier to accept than others. To trust the process, to trust all of it, without hanging on to the past or peering too far into the future, requires a great deal of faith. Surrender to the moment. If you're feeling angry, get mad. If you're setting a boundary, dive into that. If you're grieving, grieve. Get into it. Step where instinct leads. If you're waiting, wait. If you have a task, throw yourself into the work. Get into the moment; the moment is right. We are where we are, and it is okay. It is right where we're meant to be to get where we're going tomorrow. And that place will be good. It has been planned in love for us. God, help me let go of my need to be someone other than who I am today. Help me dive fully into the present moment. I will accept and surrender to my present moments - the difficult ones and the easy ones, trusting the whole process. I will stop trying to control the process; instead, I will relax and let myself experience it. I have all the time in the world to do God's Will for me today I trust that my Higher Power is filling me with all the energy that I need for these 24 hours. --Ruth Fishel ***** Journey to the Heart Throw Away Old Messages Who told you that you were bad and wrong? Are you still letting others tell you that-- after all these years? Listen quietly. Whose voice do you hear telling you that? Is someone still putting you down, sabotaging your happiness, preventing you from living and moving in self-acceptance, joy, and love? Inhale and breathe in love, peace, and joy. Exhale and breathe out negative energy and negative messages. Feel them loosen, disintegrate, release. Feel your soul, mind, and heart become clear. You don't have to let others take your power, rob your joy. Don't become so accustomed to living with the pain of old, negative messages that you don't notice how much they hurt. Get rid of these old messages. Pull them out of your soul just as you would pull out barbs or knives. Pull them out on by one, then toss them away. You don't have to work around the pain from these messages any more. You don't have to figure out how to incorporate that pain into your life. Allow yourself to heal. Find new messages than empower you with love, messages that set you free. ************************************************** *************** more language of letting go Say thanks for the help There's so much do-it-yourself talk. So much self-help talk. Healing is a gift. Yes, we participate in our gifts. If we're recovering from chemical dependency, we go to our meetings and work the Steps. The same is true if we're recovering from codependency or other issues that we might face. We stand at each gateway and protest, "I don't want this. I don't want the problem. I don't want the healing. I want my life back, the way it was-- or the way I imagined it to be." And we resist and struggle, but the changes fall upon us anyway. We do our part, whatever that means to us, each day. Bit by bit, the next step becomes clear. A healing begins to settle in. We receive our medallions for the number of days we've stayed straight or gone to Al-Anon. Or we go through an important holiday without breaking down and crying, because we focus on who is there, instead of who isn't there. We can feel good about the things we've done, the part we've played in taking care of our lives. But remember, healing is a gift. So is love. So is success. Feel good about doing your part in helping yourself. But a gentle thank you may be in order,too. God, thanks. ***** Sweetening a Sour Apple When a Bad Apple Spoils the Bunch by Madisyn Taylor When dealing with negative people we can choose not to respond to their behavior and allow our positive behavior be an example. Because life requires that we interact with different personalities, it is not uncommon for us to encounter a situation where there is one person whose behavior may negatively impact the experiences of others. Someone who is loud and crass can interrupt the serenity of those who come together to practice peace. A disruptive worker can cause rules to be imposed that affect their colleagues’ professional lives. A team member who is pessimistic or highly critical may destroy the morale of their fellow members. And one “bad apple” in your personal life can be a potent distraction that makes it difficult to focus on the blessings you’ve been given and the people who love you. There may always be people in your life who take it upon themselves to create disruption, foster chaos, stamp out hope, and act as if they are above reproach – even when, in doing so, they put a blight on their own experiences. But you don’t need to allow their negativity and callousness to sour your good mood. Often, our first impulse upon coming head-to-head with a bad apple is to express our anger and frustration in no uncertain terms. However, bad apples only have the power to turn our lives sour if we let them. If you can exercise patience and choose not to respond to their words or actions, you will significantly limit the effect they are able to have on you and your environment. You can also attempt to encourage a bad apple to change their behavior by letting your good behavior stand as an example. If your bad apple is simply hoping to attract notice, they may come to realize that receiving positive attention is much more satisfying than making a negative impression. While you may be tempted to simply disassociate yourself entirely from a bad apple, consider why they might be inclined to cause disturbances. Understanding their motivation can help you see that bad apples are not necessarily bad people. Though bad apples are a fact of life, minimizing the impact you allow them to have upon you is empowering because you are not letting anyone else affect the quality of your experiences. You may discover that buried at the very heart of a bad apple is a seed of goodness. Published with permission from Daily OM ***** A Day At A Time August 18 Reflection For The Day As Addictive persons, self-delusion was intricately woven through almost all our thoughts and actions. We became experts at convincing ourselves, when necessary, that black was white, that wrong was right, or even that day was night. Now that we’re in The Program, our need for self-delusion is fading. If I’m fooling myself these days, my sponsor can spot it quickly. And, as he skillfully steers me away from my fantasies, I find that I’m less and less likely to defend myself against reality and unpleasant truths about myself. Gradually, in the process, my pride, fear and ignorance are losing their destructive power. Do I firmly believe that a solitary self-appraisal wouldn’t be nearly enough? Today I Pray May I understand that not only must I look to my Higher Power, but that I need to trust my fellow members of the group in this Step of self-evaluation. For we mirror each other in all of our delusions and fantasies, and with there facing mirrors, we produce a depth of perspective that we could never come by alone. Today I Will Remember To see myself all around, I need a three-way mirror — with reflections from God, my friends and me. ***** One More Day August 18 You may judge others only according to your knowledge of yourself. – Kahlil Gibran We know that our behavior patterns may not be the only acceptable ones. Many of us have spent the major part of our lives trying to please others. We finally understand that there’s no need for us to reach beyond our own capabilities. Now that our physical health is limited and our emotional health is stretched almost to the breaking point, we begin to realize that people around us may have serious problems of their own. By reaching out, unselfishly, we can help. Inadvertently, we will reap the benefits of our own behavior. As I understand my limitations, I begin to know myself more intimately than ever before. I am learning about my untapped potential. ************************************************** ***************** Food For Thought Self-Respect When we were overeating, we did not have much self-respect. Because we felt guilty about the quantity of food we were consuming and the way we looked, we had a very poor self-image. Since we did not respect ourselves, we did not act in a way which evoked respect from others. We put ourselves down and allowed other people to use us. Abstinence and the OA program produce a change, which is often astonishing. Our self-respect grows in direct proportion to the control we acquire. When we stop overeating and begin to live in accordance with the will of our Higher Power, we can accept and respect ourselves. Those around us respond to us differently as our own attitude improves. What we realize is that self-respect and inner acceptance are more important than any external approval or disapproval. Instead of living for the admiration of others, we seek each day to follow the will of our Higher Power. I am grateful for the self-respect OA has given me. |
August 19
You are reading from the book Today's Gift. A tree grown in a cave does not bear fruit. --Kahlil Gibran A tree planted in a cave would soon be stopped short in its growth. There would be no room for it to grow tall or blossom. It would only grow so far and then would grow no bigger. Fear can be like a cave. We sometimes become fearful for the same reason we might enter a cave, looking for protection. But fear protects us from the new ideas and behavior we need in order to grow. Fear can keep us huddling inside it, watching life's opportunities pass by. When fear threatens to enclose us, we can take a deep breath and begin to do what we are afraid of doing. The cave will fade away as we step out into the sun, fresh air, and storms that are a part of growing. What fear can I overcome today? You are reading from the book Touchstones. The most exhausting thing in life is being insincere. --Anne Morrow Lindbergh Many of us grew up in situations that required us to be constantly on our guard. We became so keenly attuned to the people around us and how to please them or avoid their anger that we lost contact with our inner messages. Rather than developing skills for drawing upon our inner resources, we developed skills for looking outward and reacting to whatever confronted us. This method of survival may have been necessary in the past while we were under stress, but it doesn't allow us any rest or the possibility of simply following what we know and feel is right. We are learning to know what we think and feel and to express it, even if it isn't always what others want to hear. We can be spontaneous now because we have room for mistakes in our lives. Our relationships are more reliable, and we have more energy from sincerity than from always striving to make a good appearance. Today, it is more important for me to be sincere than to be on my guard. You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning. ...to have a crisis and act upon it is one thing. To dwell in perpetual crisis is another. --Barbara Grizzuti Harrison Exaggerating the negative element in our lives is familiar behavior for all too many of us. But this obsession is our choice. We can stop at any moment. We can decide to let go of a situation that we can't control, turn it over to God, and be free to look ahead at the possibilities for happiness. Perhaps we can learn to accept a serious situation in our lives as a special opportunity for growth first of all, but even more as an opportunity to let God work in our lives. We learn to trust by giving over our dilemmas to God for solutions. With patience, we will see the right outcomes, and we will more easily turn to God the next time. Crises will lessen in number and in gravity in direct proportion to the partnership we develop with our higher power. The stronger our dependence on that power, for all answers and all directions, the greater will our comfort be in all situations. Serenity is the gift promised when we let God handle our lives. No crisis need worry us. The solution is only a prayer away. I will take action against every crisis confronting me--I will turn to God. Each crisis is an invitation to serenity. You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go. Letting Go of Shame Shame is that dark, powerful feeling that holds us back. Yes, shame can stop us from acting inappropriately. But many of us have learned to attach shame to healthy behaviors that are in our best interest. In dysfunctional families, shame can be tagged to healthy behaviors such as talking about feelings, making choices, taking care of ourselves, having fun, being successful, or even feeling good about ourselves. Shame may have been attached to asking for what we want and need, to communicating directly and honestly, and to giving and receiving love. Sometimes shame disguises itself as fear, rage, indifference, or a need to run and hide, wrote Stephanie E. But if it feels dark and makes us feel bad about being who we are, it's probably shame. In recovery, we are learning to identify shame. When we can recognize it, we can begin to let go of it. We can love and accept ourselves - starting now. We have a right to be, to be here, and to be who we are. And we don't ever have to let shame tell us any differently. Today, I will attack and conquer the shame in my life. I value myself today. I value everything about me. I am finding people who value me as much as I value myself. I am attracting people who treat with me with love and respect. --Ruth Fishel ***** Journey to the Heart Your Destiny Is Now The train seemed to move endlessly toward the horizon as I drove along beside it. To me, trains symbolize destiny. For a long time, the concept of destiny confused me. I wondered how to find my destiny. I hoped I had one. I wondered what it would feel like when I got there. But destiny doesn't bewilder me anymore. I enjoy seeing trains. Destiny isn't some distant place, or a peak of fame and fortune. Destiny isn't one moment in our lives, one time when we shine for all the world to see. Those moments are nice, if they come. But there's more destiny than that. Destiny is now. Destiny is each moment of our lives, shining through, linking together, like the endless cars on the train. Destiny means embracing each moment, being present for it, cherishing it because it is our now. Whether it holds exhilaration, discovery, sadness, tough decisions, or tender love, each moment is our destiny. Those moments of destiny link together in an endless chain to become our lives. Let yourself live and be in each moment, with each person, learning each lesson along the way. Destiny isn't someplace we go. Destiny is where we are. ***** more language of letting go Enjoy and share the gifts My friend was talking on the phone to his sister one day. They had a little sibling rivalry going on, but it was the good, motivating kind. "I'm going to Asia," he said. "Well, I've been to Africa and helped build a hospital there," she said. They bantered back and forth about the places they'd been and where they hoped to go next. Then they decided that you got points only for how cool the trip had been-- and what you learned and what you did with the experience after you were there. "You helped build that hospital for kids. You get a lot of points for that," he said. "But you don't get any points for Denmark. All you did was change planes. You didn't even look around and enjoy the sights. We'll have to talk again, in a few years, and see how many points we each have." It's been said before, but it's important enough to say again: It's not just where you go; it's what you do with it that counts. Are you having great experiences, but keeping them to yourself? Are you bothering to get out of your chair and see the sights in your world, or are you staring at your TV? Are you trudging your path, but not gleaning any insights along the way? Are you doing anything of value with what you've learned, even if it's sharing your experience, strength, and hope with a close friend? How many points do you have for really cool trips? Part of saying thanks is sharing our lives with the world. The other part is learning to enjoy our lives, ourselves. Live and love and learn and see things; then pass those things on. Don't just say thanks. Demonstrate your gratitude for life by living as fully as you can. God, help me commit to doing something of value and service with the gift of my life, even if that means simply enjoying what I'm experiencing right now. ***** Remember the Light Side In Praise of Fun by Madisyn Taylor During our journey we can become very serious, it is important to remember to have fun along the way. Often when we talk about fun, or doing things just for fun, we talk about it in a dismissive way as if fun isn’t important. We tend to value hard work and seriousness, and we forget to pay our respects to the equally important, light side of silliness and laughter. This is ironic because we all know the feeling of euphoria that follows a good burst of laughter, and how it leaves us less stressed, more openhearted, and more ready to reach out to people. We are far more likely to walk down the street smiling and open after we’ve had a good laugh, and this tends to catch on, inspiring smiles from the people we pass who then positively influence everyone they encounter. Witnessing this kind of chain reaction makes you think that having fun might be one of our most powerful tools for changing the world. Laughter is good medicine, and we all have this medicine available to us whenever we recall a funny story or act in a silly way. We magnify the effects of this medicine when we share it with the people in our lives. If we are lucky, they will have something funny to share with us as well, and the life-loving sound of laughter will continue to roll out of our mouths and into the world. Of course, it is also important to allow ourselves to be serious and to honor that side of ourselves so that we stay balanced. After a great deal of merriment, it can actually be a pleasure to settle down and focus on work, or take some time for introspection until our next round of fun begins. Published with permission from Daily OM ************************************************** ************** One More Day The past should be culled like a box of fresh strawberries, rinsed of debris, sweetened judiciously and served in small portions, not very often. – Laura Palmer Many of us may dwell in the past, telling ourselves our yesterdays were better than our tomorrows will ever be. Living in “what was” can be dangerous, for we may be less adaptable to life’s changes. Fond memories are healthy when they remind us how our lives are formed and shaped by our experiences. Memories reveal our development into the productive people we are today. Life does get better every day because we have both the joys of the present and some sweet memories of the past. We not only survive, we regain happiness and our peace of mind by living for today and by appreciating all the today’s and yesterdays. I will not live in the past, but instead will look to each day as new and promising. ************************************************** ************** A Day at a Time Reflection for the Day "How does The Program work?" newcomers sometimes ask. The two answers I most often hear are "very well" and "slowly." I'm appreciative of both answers, facetious as they may first sound, because my self-analyzing tends to be faulty. Sometimes I've failed to share my defects with the right people; other times, I've confessed their defects, rather than my own; at still other times, my sharing of defects has been more in the nature of shrill complaints about my problems. The fact is that none of us likes the self-searching, the leveling of our comings which The Steps require. But we eventually see that The Program really works. Have I picked up the simple kit of spiritual tools laid at my feet? Today I Pray May God keep me from laying out my defects by comparing them to someone else's. We are, by nature, relativists and comparers, who think in terms of "worse than ..." "not quite as bad as ..." or "better than ..." May I know that my faults are faults, whether or not they are "better than ..." others'. Today I Will Remember Bad is bad, even when it is "better than." ************************************************** ************** Food For Thought Highs and Lows Abstaining from compulsive overeating does not guarantee that we will always be on an even keel emotionally. We continue to have ups and downs, and often we feel emotional distress even more keenly when we are no longer using food as a narcotic. Part of our program involves the striving for balance and perspective. Experience teaches us not to get carried away by either elation or depression. These are moods, which will not last, and we prefer to base our actions on the rational decisions, which we make in times of quiet reflection. Contact with OA friends during periods when we are either high or low helps to put our emotions in perspective. By expressing what we feel, we are better able to deal with it. Some of us tend to make calls when we are up and others of us reach for help when we are down. Ideally, we will make contact both times so that we may strengthen each other and learn not to be overwhelmed by mood swings. May I remember that You can control my highs and my lows. |
August 20
You are reading from the book Today's Gift. Life can only be understood backwards, but it must be lived forward. --Soren Kierkegaard Once, in a small village, there was a huge fire. The blaze spread and several homes and businesses were burned to the ground. After a long while, the fire was brought under control and put out. Villagers banded together to rebuild their town, but one quite persistent young man insisted on searching the rubble for the cause of the fire. Impatient townspeople scolded him, saying, "Why waste time searching for causes? Knowing them won't put out the blaze or repair the damage." "I know," replied the young man, "but knowing why might prevent other fires." Sometimes we have to look at painful past experiences in order to prevent their recurrence. When we understand ourselves better, we can move beyond the past and walk toward the future with surer, safer steps. How well can I use my past today? You are reading from the book Touchstones. Every human being is a problem in search of a solution. --Ashley Montagu Each of us is a strong and fragile creature. We're always subject to forces outside our control, and we're learning steps for living that helps us cope and rise above these problems. Our particular situation might seem special to us but in another sense, everyone's situation is a unique problem. Spiritual growth is the result of coming face to face with our own situation, feeling the brunt of our own puzzlement, recognizing no recipe will apply completely, and then trusting our Higher Power as we make unsure responses. No school or parent can ever teach us enough to smooth our search for solutions. We become complete human beings by living through the muddle, by truly trusting our connections with God and other people to carry us along until we find clarity again. We progress into manhood when we meet our own particular life crises. We learn to see we have this process in common with every human being. Rather than resist our problems, we band together with others and pool our strength to find solutions. My problems today are opportunities for spiritual growth. You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning. Everything in life that we really accept undergoes a change. So suffering must become love. That is the mystery. --Katherine Mansfield Acceptance of those conditions that at times plague us changes not only the conditions but, in the process, ourselves. Perhaps this latter change is the more crucial. As each changes, as we all change into more accepting women, life's struggles ease. When we accept all the circumstances that we can't control, we are more peaceful. Smiles more easily fill us up. It's almost as though life's eternal lesson is acceptance, and with it comes life's eternal blessings. Every day offers me many opportunities to grow in acceptance and thus blessings. I can accept any condition today and understand it as an opportunity to take another step toward serenity, eternal and whole. You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go. Honesty in Relationships We can be honest and direct about our boundaries in relationships and about the parameters of a particular relationship. Perhaps no area of our life reflects our uniqueness and individuality in recovery more than our relationships. Some of us are in a committed relationship. Some of us are dating. Some of us are not dating. Some of us are living with someone. Some of us wish we were dating. Some of us wish we were in a committed relationship. Some of us get into new relationships after recovery. Some of us stay in the relationship we were in before we began recovering. We have other relationships too. We have friendships. Relationships with children, with parents, with extended family. We have professional relationships - relationships with people on the job. We need to be able to be honest and direct in our relationships. One area we can be honest and direct about is the parameters of our relationships. We can define our relationships to people, an idea written about by Charlotte Kasl and others, and we can ask them to be honest and direct about defining their vision of the relationship with us. It is confusing to be in relationships and not know where we stand - whether this is on the job, in a friendship, with family members, or in a love relationship. We have a right to be direct about how we define the relationship - what we want it to be. But relationships equal two people who have equal rights. The other person needs to be able to define the relationship too. We have a right to know, and ask. So do they. Honesty is the best policy. We can set boundaries. If someone wants a more intense relationship than we do, we can be clear and honest about what we want, about our intended level of participation. We can tell the person what to reasonably expect from us, because that is what we want to give. How the person deals with that is his or her issue. Whether or not we tell the person is ours. We can set boundaries and define friendships when those cause confusion. We can even define relationships with children, if those relationships have gotten sticky and exceeded our parameters. We need to define love relationships and what that means to each person. We have a right to ask and receive clear answers. We have a right to make our own definitions and have our own expectations. So does the other person. Honesty and directness is the only policy. Sometimes we don't know what we want in a relationship. Sometimes the other person doesn't know. But the sooner we can define a relationship, with the other person's help, the sooner we can decide on an appropriate course of conduct for ourselves. The clearer we can become on defining relationships, the more we can take care of ourselves in that relationship. We have a right to our boundaries, wants, and needs. So does the other person. We cannot force someone to be in a relationship or to participate at a level we desire if he or she does not want to. All of us have a right not to be forced. Information is a powerful tool, and having the information about what a particular relationship is - the boundaries and definitions of it - will empower us to take care of ourselves in it. Relationships take a while to form, but at some point we can reasonably expect a clear definition of what that relationship is and what the boundaries of it are. If the definitions clash, we are free to make a new decision based on appropriate information about what we need to do to take care of ourselves. Today, I will strive for clarity and directness in my relationships. If I now have some relationships that are murky and ill defined, and if I have given them adequate time to form, I will begin to take action to define that relationship. God, help me let go of my fears about defining and understanding the nature of my present relationships. Guide me into clarity - clear, healthy thinking. Help me know that what I want is okay. Help me know that if I can't get that from the other person, what I want is still okay, but not possible at the present time. Help me learn to not forego what I want and need, but empower me to make appropriate, healthy choices about where to get that. Today I am beginning to experience all that I am, a unique and interdependent human being. I feel unique and alive and unlimited. I am free to experience love and joy. --Ruth Fishel ***** Journey to the Heart Your Soul Can Be at Peace Peace is all around you. If you forget to be peaceful, try some things. Forgive, trust, love yourself. Be still, be kind, be gentle. Do these things until peace returns. Seek places of healing. Seek places of power. Come back to center. Breathe deeply. Breathe in the air, the energy, the loving resources around you. Fill up on life. Fill up until you find and feel peace. Work things out, work things through, release the past, take the steps your heart leads you to do. Do this until you find and feel peace. Breathe deeply. With each breath, release your fear. If you know what's causing your fear, let them go,too. Don't tangle yourself up trying to figure out or understand. Trust that your body, your soul, your heart, is healing and releasing. Be gentle with yourself. A place inside you is healing its fears, telling you something, feeling something. Don't punish or abuse it for feeling afraid. That won't make your fears go away. That will make the beautiful, delicate part of you go away. Be tender and gentle. Rest until your fears subside. Rest until peace returns. Peace is yours for the asking, the wanting, the seeking. Desire it with passion, and you shall see it, find it, have it. No matter what you're going through, your soul can be at peace. ***** more language of letting go Celebrate your abundance Celebrate the abundance that comes into your life. So often, we spend so long in the "do without" stage that we don't know what to do when we're given the opportunity to " do with." We can get so used to the suffering-- we can even come to expect it-- that we feel guilty when we're given the good things in life and when we finally have enough. We may have become conditioned to believe that to have success and abundance, we must have done something wrong. We're just not sure we deserve this newfound happiness. What do we do now that we don't have to struggle to make each step and beg God for the money to pay for each meal? Celebrate. Enjoy it. Abundance is a gift of the universe. It's important to learn to be a healthy, cheerful giver. It's important to receive cheerfully,too. If you've been given much, be thankful. Use your abundance wisely. Enjoy it. Share it with others. Be thankful for the gifts in your life. God, thank you for the gifts. Activity: Make an inventory of your gifts. This is separate from the gratitude list of things we're striving to be grateful for. Exactly what are the gifts you've received? Sometimes we get so busy trying to get more, we forget to be thankful for what we've got. ***** Shifting with Nature’s Energy Change of Season In today’s world, office jobs and supermarkets have made it possible to work and provide for ourselves and our families regardless of nature’s cycles. While most of us no longer depend directly on nature’s seasons for our livelihood, our bodies’ clocks still know deep down that a change of season means a change in us too. If we don’t acknowledge this, we may feel out of sync, as though we have lost our natural rhythm. These days, autumn is more likely to bring thoughts of going back to school than harvesting, but in both cases, the chill in the air tells us it’s time to move inside and prepare for the future. We can consciously celebrate the change of season and shift our own energy by setting some time aside to make the same changes we see in nature. We can change colors like the falling leaves and wilting blooms by putting away our bright summer colors and filling our wardrobes and living areas with warm golds, reds, and browns. While plants concentrate their energy deep in their roots and seeds, we can retreat to quieter, indoor pursuits, nurturing the seeds of new endeavors, which need quiet concentration to grow. We can stoke our inner fires with our favorite coffee, tea, cider, or cocoa while savoring the rich, hot comfort foods that the season brings in an array of fall colors: potatoes, apple pies, pumpkin, squash, and corn. As animals begin growing their winter coats and preparing their dens for hibernation, we can dust off our favorite sweaters and jackets and bring blankets out of storage, creating coziness with throw rugs and heavier drapes. We can also light candles or fireplaces to bring a remnant of summer’s fiery glow indoors. By making a conscious celebration of the change, we usher in the new season in a way that allows us to go with the flow, not fight against it. We sync ourselves up with the rhythm of nature and the universe and let it carry us forward, nurturing us as we prepare for our future. Published with permission from Daily OM ***** One More Day August 20 Repose is not more welcome to the worn and to the aged, to the sick and to the unhappy, then danger, difficulty, and toil, to the young and the adventurous. – Fanny Burney Within the same week, a ten-year-old boy made a solo flight across America, and a woman who was sover eighty climbed Mount Everest. Some of us don’t aspire to such mind-boggling events. But there is a time for more adventurous quests and a time for quiet. They don’t have to be age related. Sometimes our concern about age may be more limiting than our physical capabilities. “Should a person my age be actiong like this?” “I think I’m too old for that.” Thoughts like these prevent us from exploring and learning and acquiring new skills. We can choose our direction, regardless of age. I will set aside age prejudice when I look at the possiblities before me today. ***** A Day At A Time August 20 Reflection For The Day All of The Program’s Twelve Steps ask us to go contrary to our natural inclinations and desires: they puncture, squeeze, and finally deflate our egos. When it comes to ego deflation, few Steps are harder to take then the Fifth, which suggest that we “admit to God, To Ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.” Few steps are harder to take, yes, but scarcely any Step is more necessary to long-term freedom from addiction and peace of mind. Have I quit living by myself with the tormenting ghoset of yesterday? Today I Pray May God give me strength to face that great ego-pincher — Step Five. May I not hesitate to call a trusted hearer of Fifth Steps, set up a meeting and share it. By accepting responsibility for my behavior, God and one other. I am actually unburdening myself. Today I Will Remember My Fifth Step pain is also my liberation. ************************************************** **************** Food For Thought Togetherness In this program, we are able to do together what none of us could achieve alone. We may have tried many ways to control our disease before we came to OA, but they did not work or we would not be here. We share a common illness and a common cure. Abstinence is possible as we share it with each other. The program works as we work it together. Each of us is an individual, but we function best with the support of the group. If we neglect to go to meetings and make phone calls, we cut ourselves off from the strength and inspiration we need. Our Higher Power works through each of us as we share what we have been given. We do not achieve and maintain abstinence by ourselves. Most of us overate alone. Learning to live without overeating involves learning to live with other people. Our fellowship is our recovery, and together we grow. Thank You for our togetherness. |
August 21
You are reading from the book Today's Gift. Thunder is good, thunder is impressive; but it is the lightning that does the work. --Mark Twain Thunder demands our attention. From the ear-splitting boom overhead to the faint rumble in the distance, it is an impressive part of nature. Yet, it is the lightning that discharges electricity from one cloud to another, or to the earth. We are sometimes like thunder. We may shout our intentions to family members, or quietly tell our dreams to friends. No matter how we say it, it is the ability to follow through that is most important. When we've completed what we've set out to do, we will feel a sense of satisfaction and energy. With this energy, and the knowledge we can finish what we set out to do, we will make our dreams come true. What is left incomplete that I can finish today? You are reading from the book Touchstones. Many situations can be clarified by the passing of time. --Theodore Isaac Rubin Time heals our wounds. It teaches lessons that cannot be learned in a day. It allows truths to rise to the surface that first were difficult to see. In our impatience and restlessness we may forget that our answers come and simply waiting often fills our needs. We live in a goal-oriented world, and men are expected to go after what they want. But that is sometimes a foolish approach. Our problems developed over time, and now recovery and growth take time. The learning we missed while we were absorbed in our excesses cannot be captured in a day. Anxieties and stresses come and go for everyone, but we often increased our problems by trying to cure what would pass on its own accord. We are learning to live more wisely through our periods of stress by trusting in the care of God. Today, I will allow time to heal and correct rather than automatically reaching for a cure. You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning. With each new day I put away the past and discover the new beginnings I have been given. --Angela L. Wozniak We can't recapture what is no more. And the minutes or hours we spend dwelling on what was or should have been only steal away from all that presently is. Today stands before us with promise. The opportunities for growth are guaranteed, as is all the spiritual help we need to handle any situation the day offers. If today offers us a challenge, we can be grateful. Our challenges are gifts. They mean we are ready to move ahead to new awarenesses, to a new sense of our womanhood. Challenges force us to think creatively; they force us to turn to others; they demand that we change. Without challenges, we'd stagnate, enjoying life little, offering life nothing. We each are making a special contribution, one that only we can make; each time we confront a new situation with courage. Each time we dare to open a new door. What we need to do today is to close the door on yesterday. Then we can stand ready and willing to go forward. This day awaits my full presence. I will be the recipient of its gifts. You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go. Detaching in Relationships When we first become exposed to the concept of detachment, many of us find it objectionable and questionable. We may think that detaching means we don't care. We may believe that by controlling, worrying, and trying to force things to happen, we're showing how much we care. We may believe that controlling, worrying, and forcing will somehow affect the outcome we desire. Controlling, worrying, and forcing don't work. Even when we're right, controlling doesn't work. In some cases, controlling may prevent the outcome we want from happening. As we practice the principle of detachment with the people in our life, we slowly begin to learn the truth. Detaching, preferably detaching with love, is a relationship behavior that works. We learn something else too. Detachment - letting go of our need to control people - enhances all our relationships. It opens the door to the best possible outcome. It reduces our frustration level, and frees us and others to live in peace and harmony. Detachment means we care, about others and ourselves. It frees us to make the best possible decisions. It enables us to set the boundaries we need to set with people. It allows us to have our feelings, to stop reacting and initiate a positive course of action. It encourages others to do the same. It allows our Higher Power to step in and work. Today, I will trust the process of detaching with love. I will understand that I am not just letting go; I am letting go and letting God. I'm loving others, but I'm loving myself too. God is guiding me in all my thoughts and plans and actions. I have given up all my struggling and self-defeating messages and have turned over all my thoughts to the power and energy of goodness and love. --Ruth Fishel ****** Journey to the Heart You're Free to Open Your Heart Open your heart to the people you love. Open your heart to the world. Open your heart to God, to the universe, to life, and all the creatures and creations in it. Open your heart as much as you can. It's safe to open your heart now. There was a time when you believed that the only way to protect yourself was to shut down and close your heart. You have learned so much. You have learned the powers of honesty, compassion, forgiveness, and kindness. You will no longer become stuck or trapped if you open your heart.You can leave if you want to. You can say what you need to. You no longer need to protect yourself by guarding your heart with the heavy armor you wore in the past. Now you are free. Free to open your heart. Free to open yourself to the universe. A woman I met in Sedona gave me a lovely visualization to use. Picture your heart. In front of your heart see a beautiful rosebud, tightly closed. Whenever you want your heart to open, picture the rose blooming wide, beautiful, alive, and fragrant. Whenever you want to retreat, turn the rose back into a bud. Open your heart to the world, to the people who live in it. Open yourself to creation. Open your heart to yourself, to God, to life. Life will become magical. And you'll think back and smile. You will wonder why it took you so long to open your heart. Open your heart as much as you choose, as much as you can. Share it with the world. ***** more language of letting go Practice an act of gratitude None of our success comes without the help of others. Time after time, it seems that there is someone standing at the crossroads waiting for us, pointing the way down the path with heart. They may be friends, family members, ministers, or mentors, or even police officers or judges. I think they might be angels sent to help us through those tough spots and point us back to the path with heart. They're in the right place at the right time with the exact words and help we need. Have you thanked them yet? Practice an act of gratitude. Find one of your guiding lights or guardian angels and tell that person what he or she meant to you in your life. Your guides may not even be aware of the impact that they had on you. And who knows whether your kind words may be just the light that they need today to push them gently down their path with heart. Then, take it one step further. Take the kind, loving thing they did to or for you and pass it along to someone else. God, remind me to give thanks where thanks is due. ***** Self-Determination Using Your Power Our lives are defined by the decisions we make each day. When we choose one option over another, whether we are selecting a restaurant or considering a cross-country move, we shape our lives. The decision-making process can be empowering, allowing us to enjoy the benefits of self-determination. Yet it can also be a source of anxiety because decisions force us to face the possibility of dissatisfaction and inner conflict. As a result, many of us opt to avoid making decisions by allowing others to make them for us. We consequently turn our power over to spouses, relatives, friends, and colleagues, granting them the stewardship of our lives that is ours by right. Though the decisions we must make are often difficult, we grow more self-sufficient and secure each time we trust ourselves enough to choose. Ultimately, only you can know how the options before you will impact your daily life and your long-term well-being. Within you lies the power to competently weigh the advantages and disadvantages of each selection. Even if you feel incapable of making a decision, your inner wisdom and your intuitive mind will give you sound counsel if you have faith in yourself. Try to come to your own conclusions before seeking the guidance of others, and even then, treat their suggestions as supplementary information rather than votes to be tallied. Before making your choice, release your fear of wrong decisions. Perceived mistakes can lead you down wonderful and unexpected paths that expose you to life-changing insights. If you can let go of the notion that certain choices are utterly right while others are entirely wrong, you will be less tempted to invite others to take the reigns of your destiny. When your choices are your own, you will be more likely to accept and be satisfied with the outcome of those choices. Your decisions will be a pure reflection of your desires, your creativity, your awareness, and your power. Since you understand that you must live with and take responsibility for your decisions, you will likely exercise great care when coming to conclusions. As you learn to make informed and autonomous choices, you will gain the freedom to consciously direct the flow of your life without interference. Published with permission from Daily OM ************************************************** **************** A Day at a Time Reflection for the Day After we take an inventory, determining and admitting the exact nature of our wrongs, we become "entirely ready," as the Sixth Step suggests, "to have God remove all these defects of character." Sure, it's easy to feel like that and be "entirely ready" on a morning-after, but we know in such desperate moments that our motive may be remorse rather than repentance, induced more by a throbbing head than a contrite heart. The further we get away from the last addictive binge, the better the wrong-doing looks - more innocent, possibly even more attractive. Am I ready THEN to "have God remove all these defects of character ...?" Today I Pray May I be "entirely ready" for God to remove my defects of character. May those words "entirely ready" re-summon my determination in case it should fade with time and sobriety. May God be my strength, since I alone cannot erase my faults. Today I Will Remember I am "entirely ready." ************************************************** **************** Food For Thought Fake Gods Our Higher Power is that which we can turn to in times of stress. In the past, we turned to food, thus making it in fact our Higher Power, even though we may not have realized what we were doing. Food is not capable of being a Higher Power for anyone; food is a thing. By turning to food in stressful situations, we cheated ourselves with a false god. Lurking in the back of our mind, there may still be some false gods. We may think that more money or an exciting love affair would give us permanent security and happiness. The desire for popularity may be deluding us into thinking that we can please everyone if we try hard enough. The beauty of the OA program is that it shows us, day by day, the Higher Power who will not let us down. As we see our false gods for what they are, we grow in truth. Daily communion with God as each of us understands Him gives us an intimate relationship with the One to whom we can turn in times of stress. Thank You for revealing my false gods. |
August 22
You are reading from the book Today's Gift. ... sparrow, your message is clear: it is not too late for my singing. --Tess Gallagher There was once a mother who loved to hang the laundry out on the clothesline in the backyard. Her baby crawled through the sheets and towels that almost touched the grass. The baby didn't talk yet, so nobody knew what she was thinking. Ten years later, the baby, twelve years old, told her that her happiest memory of childhood was playing in her "playhouse" of laundry on the line. She remembered thinking that her mother hung the sheets out there just so she could play in the grass and wind and sun! How wonderful to be living in a world where we can accidentally make people happy! This knowledge is a miraculous gift, and can give us reason to do every task well and with love, because it may be remembered for a lifetime by someone near to us. What happy memory do I have of childhood? You are reading from the book Touchstones. The irony of your present eating habits is that while you fear missing a meal, you aren't fully aware of the meals you do eat. --Dan Millman Many of us have had problems with eating. Some of us eat compulsively. We may have become overly focused on diet or abused ourselves by mindlessly indulging in unhealthy eating. We all grow by becoming more aware of our relationship to food. Our spiritual life is nourished by fully experiencing all our sensations concerning food. We can begin with awareness of our empty stomachs and take pleasure in feeling hungry. We can give time to eating and use a meal as a time for relationships. Taking pleasure in the preparation of healthy food, making it look attractive, smelling the aromas, tasting the flavors, and enjoying the fullness and renewed energy after eating are all ways of growing spiritually as we become healthier in our use of food. Today, I will take pleasure as I eat. I will make room in my life for healthy nourishment of body and spirit. You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning. We're only as sick as the secrets we keep. --Sue Atchley Ebaugh Harboring parts of our inner selves, fearing what others would think if they knew, creates the barriers that keep us separate, feeling different, certain of our inadequacies. Secrets are burdens, and they weigh heavily on us, so heavily. Carrying secrets makes impossible the attainment of serenity--that which we strive for daily. Abstinence alone is not enough. It must come first, but it's not enough by itself. It can't guarantee that we'll find the serenity we seek. This program of recovery offers self-assurance, happiness, spiritual well-being, but there's work to be done. Many steps to be taken. And one of these is total self-disclosure. It's risky, it's humbling, and it's necessary. When we tell others who we really are, it opens the door for them to share likewise. And when they do, we become bonded. We accept their imperfections and love them for them. And they love us for ours. Our struggles to be perfect, our self-denigration because we aren't, only exaggerates even more the secrets that keep us sick. Our tarnished selves are lovable; secrets are great equalizers when shared. We need to feel our oneness, our sameness with other women. Opportunities to share my secrets will present themselves today. I will be courageous. You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go. Responsibility for Family Members I can still remember my mother clutching her heart, threatening to have a heart attack and die, and blaming it on me. -Anonymous For some of us, the idea that we were responsible for other people's feelings had its roots in childhood and was established by members of our nuclear family. We may have been told that we made our mother or father miserable, leading directly to the idea that we were also responsible for making them happy. The idea that we are responsible for our parents' happiness or misery can instill exaggerated feelings of power and guilt in us. We do not have this kind of power over our parents - over their feelings, or over the course of their lives. We do not have to allow them to have this kind of power over us. Our parents did the best they could. But we still do not have to accept one belief from them that is not a healthy belief. They may be our parents, but they are not always right. They may be our parents, but their beliefs and behaviors are not always healthy and in our best interest. We are free to examine and choose our beliefs. Let go of guilt. Let go of excessive and inappropriate feelings of responsibility toward parents and other family members. We do not have to allow their destructive beliefs to control our feelings, our behaviors, our life, or us. Today, I will begin the process of setting myself free from any self-defeating beliefs my parents passed on to me. I will strive for appropriate ideas and boundaries concerning how much power and how much responsibility I can actually have in my relationship with my parents. Today I accept all responsibilities of my life. It feels good to know that I am in charge of my life and can accept the outcome of my decisions. --Ruth Fishel ***** Journey to the Heart Heal Your Resentments How fast resentments creep in during the course of an ordinary year. How much faster they can creep in during intense times, times of change, times of evolution-- the kind of times we've been experiencing on our journey. Things shift. Things change. We let go of the old and stumble toward the new. And resentments crop up along the way. People become angry with us for changing, we become angry with them because we believe their experiences have unjustly impacted us. Resentments are tricky little things, devious little devils of energy that block and damage our souls and hearts. They tell us they're justified. They tell us we need them to protect ourselves. They tell us we should have adopted them a long time ago. They tell us we're not safe if we release them, if we send them packing. Those are lies, illusions that keep us blocked, stuck, and often quite uncomfortable. Go deeper into yourself. What do you feel underneath the resentment? Betrayed? Hurt? Ashamed? Embarrassed? Left out? Forgotten? Misunderstood? You're safe now. Go ahead and feel whatever you need to feel. Honor and recognize your gentler, softer side-- those other feelings that make you feel vulnerable, those more tender feelings hiding behind, underneath, or to the side of the resentment. Feel and release your resentment. Feel the feelings underneath it,too. You'll become clear. The resentment will dissolve. And you'll return to love. ***** more language of letting go Be grateful for your families I walked into the kitchen at the Blue Sky Lodge one afternoon. I looked around at my group of friends. "I feel really blessed," I said. "You know we're more like family than friends." They agreed. My house is full of friendship, and at the risk of sounding mushy, it's full of love. There's almost always someone home to take care of the place, though we do forget to take the trash out from time to time. I've learned and laughed with my housemates, and I hope that they have learned from me as well. Are you grateful for the people you live with? Or if you live alone, are you grateful for your friends? Someone once told me that the great thing about being independent is that we get to choose our families. Be thankful for your family today, whether it's the one that you were born with or the one that you've chosen. Our families are a gift. God, thank you for my families. ***** Traveling Companions Birds Fly in a V by Madisyn Taylor Like birds flying in a V, when we feel the presence of others moving along side of us, there is little we cannot accomplish. As they swoop, drift, and glide, inscribing magnificent patterns across the sky, birds are serene displays of grace and beauty. Long a source of inspiration, birds can be messengers from the spirit realm, or a symbol of the human soul, as they cast off their earthly mooring and soar heavenward. An upturned wing, a graceful flutter, all so effortless and free... More magnificent still is the inspiring sight of birds migrating, progressing steadily across the horizon in a solid V formation that is a singular pattern too unique to be mere chance. Pushing steadily forward, this aerodynamic V reduces air resistance for the whole flock. With wings moving in harmony, the feathered group continues its course across the sky, covering more ground together in community than as individuals. When the bird at the front gets tired, she will move to the rear of the formation where the wind drag is lowest, and a more rested bird can take her place. By learning from the example of our winged guides, all of us can feel empowered to take on daring challenges as we chart adventurous courses. Feel the strength of others moving alongside you, as their presence lends power to your wings during this journey across the sky of life. When buffeted by unexpected gusts, we can choose to find refuge in the loving shelter of friends and family. We may even marvel as an otherwise difficult day passes by like a swift wind, as a kindred spirit charts a way for us through the clouds and rain ahead. If your wings begin to ache on your journey, look around for somebody else to fly at the front for a while. All of us move faster when we move together. Let your ego drop earthwards as we all soar ever higher. Published with permission from Daily OM ************************************************** **************** A Day at a Time Reflection for the Day So often, in the past, we prayed for "things," or favoring circumstances, or a thousand requests that were really selfish in nature. I've learned in The Program that real prayer begins - not ends - in asking God to change me. In fact, that's exactly what the Seventh Step suggests: Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings. We ask God for help through His grace, and the amazing thing is that such a prayer is answered if we truly want it to be. Our own wills are so much a required part of the result that it seems almost as if we had done it. But the help from God is even more necessary; without Him, we couldn't possibly have done it alone. Have I asked God to help me change myself? Today I Pray May I learn to pray broadly - that God's will be done, that God remove my shortcomings. No need to specify what these shortcomings are; God who knows all, knows. May I learn that details are not necessary in my praying. All that matters is my humility and my faith that God, does indeed, have the Power to change my life. Today I Will Remember I ask God to change me. ************************************************** ******************** Food For Thought Emotional Abstinence When our eating was out of control, our emotions were also out of control. Even after we accept physical abstinence from compulsive overeating, we may still go on emotional binges. This indulgence leaves us depleted and hung over and wreaks havoc in our relationships with those we love. The Twelve Steps are our guide to emotional abstinence. They are the means by which we can live without being destroyed by anger, envy, fear, and all of the other negative emotions. Working the Steps frees us from our slavery to self-centered, irrational reactions, which harm ourselves and others. Realizing the damage, which comes from hanging on to anger and resentment, we gradually become able to turn these feelings over to our Higher Power before they get out of hand. Accepting ourselves means that we can accept others for what they are without trying to manipulate them or expect them to be perfect. Controlled by our Higher Power, we learn to avoid emotional binges. May I remember the importance of emotional abstinence today. |
August 23
You are reading from the book Today's Gift. Whenever you fall, pick something up. --Oswald Avery There was once a very active boy who fell and broke his leg. He could run again in the spring, the doctors said, but only if he stayed in bed for an entire month and kept his leg still. At first the boy fought the rule, but he found that the more he thought about things he couldn't do, the more tired and angry he felt. His parents put in a phone by his bed and friends called every day. He'd never much liked talking on the phone, but he felt better when they called. He wrote letters and got replies, and was surprised at what fun it was. Usually, he didn't have time to write letters. He learned to play chess and began to enjoy reading. His days were slower and quieter than he'd been used to, but he learned a month really isn't a very long time. When spring came, he was running again, a little more joyfully than before. When we can learn to accept our troubles, we find, like the boy, that they are just packages in which new growth and discoveries are wrapped. If something unexpected slows me down today, what joys might I find at the slower pace? You are reading from the book Touchstones. Just because a man lacks the use of his eyes doesn't mean he lacks vision. --Stevie Wonder It has been easy for many of us to meet our limitations with self-pity. Maybe we think being a real man means always being strong, capable, good looking, and in charge. If we have a handicap, like blindness or a learning disability, we may have thought we were less masculine or less worthy. All of us have handicaps. Some are greater than others, and some are more visible than others. These handicaps confront us with our powerlessness. We do not find our finest human qualities until we have met our limitations and accepted them. A new side of our strength develops when we accept our powerlessness and yield to it rather than trying to take charge of it. We develop greater vision when we stop feeling sorry for ourselves about our handicap and surrender to its truth. We then see our kinship with all men and women who struggle with their limitations. Today, I will set aside self-pity and remember to be grateful for the lessons my limitations have taught me. You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning. Were our knowledge of human relationships a hundredfold more reliable than it is now, it would still be foolish to seek ready-made solutions for problems of living in the index of a book. --Mirra Komarovsky The problems each of us experience have within their own parameters the solutions most fitting. And we each must discover those solutions, understand their appropriateness, and absorb them into the body of information that defines who we are and who we are becoming. We learn experientially because only then is our reality significantly affected. Others' experiences are helpful to our growth and affirm how similar is our pain, but each of us must make our own choices, take responsible action in our own behalf. How fortunate that we are now in a position to make healthy decisions about our relationships! No longer the victim, we have the personal power to choose how we want to spend our time and with whom. Through active participation in all our relationships, we can discover many of the hidden elements in our own natures and develop more fully all the characteristics unique to our personhood. Our growth as recovering women is enhanced in proportion to our sincere involvement within the relationships we've chosen. I can inform myself about who I am within my relationships. Therein lie the solutions to my problems. You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go. Self Care When will we become lovable? When will we feel safe? When will we get all the protection, nurturing, and love we so richly deserve? We will get it when we begin giving it to ourselves. --Beyond Codependency The idea of giving ourselves what we want and need can be confusing, especially if we have spent many years not knowing that it's okay to take care of ourselves. Taking our energy and focus off others and their responsibilities and placing that energy on to our responsibilities and ourselves is a recovery behavior that can be acquired. We learn it by daily practice. We begin by relaxing, by breathing deeply, and letting go of our fears enough to feel as peaceful as we can. Then, we ask ourselves: What do I need to do to take care of myself today, or for this moment? What do I need and want to do? What would demonstrate love and self-responsibility? Am I caught up in the belief that others are responsible for making me happy, responsible for me? Then the first thing I need to do is correct my belief system. I am responsible for myself. Do I feel anxious and concerned about a responsibility I've been neglecting? Then perhaps I need to let go of my fears and tend to that responsibility. Do I feel overwhelmed, out of control? Maybe I need to journey back to the first of the Twelve Steps. Have I been working too hard? Maybe what I need to do is take some time off and do something fun. Have I been neglecting my work on daily tasks? Then maybe what I need to do is get back to my routine. There is no recipe, no formula, no guidebook for self care. We each have a guide, and that guide is within us. We need to ask the question: What do I need to do to take loving, responsible care of myself? Then, we need to listen to the answer. Self-care is not that difficult. The most challenging part is trusting the answer, and having the courage to follow through once we hear it. Today, I will focus on taking care of myself. I will trust myself and my Higher Power to guide me in this process. Everywhere I turn I know I am being supported by powerful, positive energy. I am finding love and support wherever I go. --Ruth Fishel ***** Journey to the Heart The Spiritual Experience Is You "When I look at people now, I don't see issues," he said. "I see souls." The man said he had a spiritual experience. Actually, he said he had four. He didn't go to the mountains, or the ocean, or the desert to have them. He had his four spiritual experiences in the same place-- in the parking lot outside a Shell gas station in Portland, Oregon. "The car filled with light. My heart just opened up and I forgave everyone I was resenting," he continued. "Even my ex-wife." We don't have to search for spiritual experiences. We are the spiritual experience-- a spiritual being having a human life. Look at the people around you. Now look again and see souls. See them having many kinds of spiritual experiences in the form of human life. When you look for holy ground, look down. That's where your spiritual experience takes place. Right where you're standing, wherever you are now. ***** more language of letting go Celebrate the gift of friendship Celebrate the gift of friendship. Get a piece of paper and a pen. Now write down: 1. The name of a good friend. 2. A lesson that you have learned from him or her. 3. Something about the friend that makes you smile. 4. Your friends favorite meal. (This might take a little research.) 5. An activity that he or she enjoys. Now, pick up the phone. Call your friend and invite him or her to a celebration with you. Do the activity that he or she enjoys: go for a walk, go to a ballgame, sit at home and watch videos, whatever this person likes to do best. Than prepare your friend's favorite meal or take your friend out to eat at the restaurant he or she likes best. Tell your friend specifically, and from your heart, the lesson he or she helped you learn. Then tell your friend what he or she does that makes you smile. Tell your friend the things that you genuinely appreciate about her or him-- those things that make your friend uniquely who she or he is. Friendship is another important gift from God. Don't just tell your friends how much they mean in your life. Show your friends how much you care with an act of gratitude. God, thank you for making each of us unique. Thank you for my friends. ***** Disapproving Faces Not Everybody Will Like You by Madisyn Taylor Not everybody we meet will like us and it is ok to move into acceptance rather than trying to make somebody like you. It is not necessarily a pleasant experience, but there will be times in our lives when we come across people who do not like us. As we know, like attracts like, so usually when they don’t like us it is because they are not like us. Rather than taking it personally, we can let them be who they are, accepting that each of us is allowed to have different perspectives and opinions. When we give others that freedom, we claim it for ourselves as well, releasing ourselves from the need for their approval so we can devote our energy toward more rewarding pursuits. While approval from others is a nice feeling, when we come to depend on it we may lose our way on our own path. There are those who will not like us no matter what we do, but that doesn’t mean that there is anything wrong with us. Each of us has our own filters built from our experiences over time. They may see in us something that is merely a projection of their understanding, but we have no control over the interpretations of others. The best we can do is to hope that the role we play in the script of their lives is helpful to them, and follow our own inner guidance with integrity. As we reap the benefits of walking our perfect paths, we grow to appreciate the feeling of fully being ourselves. The need to have everyone like us will be replaced by the exhilaration of discovering that we are attracting like-minded individuals into our lives—people who like us because they understand and appreciate the truth of who we are. We free ourselves from trying to twist into shapes that will fit the spaces provided by others’ limited understanding and gain a new sense of freedom, allowing us to expand into becoming exactly who we’re meant to be. And in doing what we know to be right for us, we show others that they can do it too. Cocreating our lives with the universe and its energy of pure potential, we transcend limitations and empower ourselves to shine our unique light, fully and freely. Published with permission from Daily OM ******************************************* A Day At A Time August 23 Reflection For The Day I heard someone in The Program once read, “Burn the idea into the consciousness of every man that he can get well, regardless of anyone. The only condition is that he trust in God and clean house.” That is what Step Seven means to me – that I’m going to clean house and will have all the help I need. Do I realize, by taking the Seventh Step, that I’m not really giving up a thing, but, instead, getting rid of whatever might lead me back to my addiction and away from the peace of mind? Today I Pray May I know that if I should give up that key word “humbly,” which combines all in one — my humility, my awe, my faith, I would once again be taking too much on my shoulders and assuming that the Power in my own. May God in His wisdom make His will mine, His strength mine, His goodness mine. As He fills me with these Divine gifts, there can be little space left in me for looming defects. Today I Will Remember Trust in God and clean house. ******************************************* One More Day August 23 So never let a cloudy day ruin your sunshine, for even if you can’t see it, the sunshine is still there, inside of you, ready to shine when you will let it. – Amy Michelle Pitzele Amazing words of wisdom sometimes spring from the mouths of children. This wrote these words, which are the last stanza of a poem about understanding change. Life seen through the eyes of a child can be serenely simplistic. Where does a child get that kind of wisdom and that depth of understanding? We can struggle to keep the child in us alive. We, too, can recognize that even when the cloudy days come, the sunshine is still there, ready to beam at a moment’s notice. Today, my own personal sun will shine within me, no matter what the weather is outside. ************************************************** ***************** Food For Thought Envy When my inside looked at your outside, I overate. Envy of what others seemed to be and of the possessions they had was a prime trigger for overeating, turning to food to compensate for an apparent lack. No amount of food can satisfy envy. Why is it that the other person seems so much more fortunate, or talented, or happier than we? We are painfully aware of our own inadequacies and quick to envy whoever appears to “have it together.” Looking at the outside image or mask is deceptive, however, and prevents us from seeing that underneath is a fellow human being beset with problems and difficulties just as we are. Who we are, where we are, and what we have is God’s gift to us. What we do with ourselves is our gift to God. The more we seek to do His will, the less we envy our neighbor’s abilities and possessions. The peace of mind we receive through this program fills us with such gratitude that there is increasingly less room for envy. Take away my envy, I pray. |
August 24
You are reading from the book Today's Gift. To those of us who knew the pain of valentines that never came and those whose names were never called when choosing sides for basketball. --Janis Ian Each of us at some time has known the feeling of not belonging; the painful emptiness of feeling left out. We've stood on the sidelines longing to be invited into what we think is some sort of magical circle. If only they would ask us in, we think, we'd be transformed--we'd be somebody then. But look around. The circle is composed of people just like us: insecure at times, frightened, unsure. They have felt anxiety and feared rejection just as we have. The pain will pass, and if we use these times to get to know and understand ourselves a bit better, we'll be better able to understand others when they're feeling left out and lonely. And when it's our turn to choose a team or send a valentine, we'll remember. Who can I remember today? You are reading from the book Touchstones. There is no greater weakness than stubbornness. If you cannot yield, if you cannot learn that there must be compromise in life - you lose. --Maxwell Maltz Glass is very hard, but fragile. By contrast, leather is tough and resilient. A blow to a glass dish will break it, but a blow to a shoe will just be absorbed. Our program leads us to avoid the folly of being hard like glass, and we become tougher like leather. We must endure surprises, pressures, and blows from the world as a normal part of life. The more able we are to absorb the blows, the stronger and more whole we are as men. A friend who has a different opinion from ours can be listened to and his ideas considered. There is no need to compete with him or prove that we are right. When our plan for a project at work gets set aside, we will feel the frustration but we need not come apart over it. Perhaps our Higher Power is leading us to a better plan. Frustrations with spouses or friends can be turned over to our Higher Power. We do not have a rigid recipe for life, and we must be open to more learning. I will surrender my fragile stubbornness in exchange for the toughness I can learn in compromise. You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning. There were many ways of breaking a heart. Stories were full of hearts broken by love, but what really broke a heart was taking away its dream--whatever that dream might be. --Pearl S. Buck No new door is opened without the inner urge for growth. Dreams guide us, encourage us, stretch us to new heights--and leave us momentarily empty when they are dashed. Recovery has given us resilience and a multitude of reasons for living. We have come to understand that when one dream serves us no longer, it is making way for an even better one. Our dreams are our teachers. When the student is ready, a new one comes into focus. Dreams in our earlier years often come to nought. They couldn't compete for our attention as effectively as the self-pity. The direction they offered was lost. Each day that we look forward with positive anticipation, we put the wreckage of the past farther from our minds. Our dreams are like the rest areas on a cross-country trip. They refresh us, help us to gauge the distance we've come, and give us a chance to consider our destination. Today's dreams and experiences are points on the road map of my life. I won't let them pass, unnoticed. You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go. Step Eight Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all. --Step Eight of Al Anon The Eighth Step is not meant to punish us; it is meant to set us free from guilt, anxiety, and discord. We begin by making a list of everyone we have harmed on our journey, as we have struggled to survive. We have probably done more damage to ourselves than to anyone else, so we put ourselves first on the list. Often, our tendency is to feel guilty about everything we've ever done, everyone we've come in contract with. That is unearned guilt. Writing helps us clarify whether or not we are punishing ourselves for no reason. But we need to be open to guidance as we work this Step, getting everything out of us and on to paper, so we can be healed. Once we have made the list, we strive to become willing to make amends to everyone on it because that is how we heal. Making amends does not mean feeling guilty and ashamed and punishing ourselves; it means swallowing our pride and defenses, and doing what we can to take care of ourselves. We become ready to improve our self-esteem by taking responsibility for our behaviors. We become willing to have our relationships with ourselves, others, and our Higher Power restored. Today, I will open myself to an honest understanding of the people I have harmed. God, help me let go of my defenses and pride. Help me become willing to make amends to those I have harmed, so that I can improve my relationships with others and myself. I no longer want to repeat the same mistakes over and over again. Today I take the time to slow down and examine the source of my difficulties so I can move on a clear path with freedom. --Ruth Fishel ***** Journey to the Heart Let the Lesson Reveal Itself to You "What's the next lesson?" I asked. "If you knew what it was, you wouldn't need to learn it," he said. Often, in the midst of a lesson or experience, we tighten our mind into knots trying to figure out what we're learning, what's coming next, what the lesson is really about. But if we knew what the lesson was about, we wouldn't need to be learning it. The learning we're doing on our spiritual path is often not possible from our heads or books. It's a process of discovery, it includes many twists, turns, surprises, and upsets, much confusion, wondering and stumbling until we reach a moment of clarity. To learn the lesson, we need to go through the experience. And usually we learn best when we're a bit vulnerable and uncertain about what we're learning. Trust that the lesson will reveal itself to you when it's time. Stay present for this moment. Let your experiences and guidance unfold. You're evolving and learning and growing right now. When the transformation is complete, you'll see what you've learned. Other people may be there to help us, touch us, guide us along our path. But the lesson to be learned is always ours. ***** more language of letting go Celebrate who you are Today, celebrate who you are. Yes, you have much in common with other people. But you're also uniquely you. Grab a piece of paper and something to write with. Now write down: 1. A lesson that you have learned in life. 2. A talent that you have, no matter how quirky. 3. Your favorite meal. 4. The name of a friend who respects and likes you for who you are. 5. An activity that you enjoy. Now, pick up the phone and call your friend. Invite him or her to a celebration with you. Do the activity that you enjoy-- go for a walk, go to a ballgame, sit at home and watch videos, whatever you like to do. Then prepare your favorite meal or go to a restaurant and have them prepare it. Show your friend your talent-- remember this person likes and respects you for who you are. So if you can balance a Ping-Pong ball on the tip of your nose, go ahead and do that. Show him or her how good you are. Talk to your friend about the lessons you have learned, and invite him or her to share a lesson learned from you. Instead of fussing and worrying about how different you are, be grateful that you're unique. Celebrate being you. God, thanks for me,too. ***** A Chance to Contribute Disarming the Know-It-All by Madisyn Taylor People that are know-it-alls are simply stuck in a pattern and may actually have feelings of low self worth. Most of us have encountered a person in our lives who can accurately be referred to as a know-it-all. This person seems to know everything about anything that gets brought up and tends to dominate the conversation. They don’t take well to being questioned, and they have a hard time ever admitting that they were wrong. Being around a know-it-all is inevitably tiring because there is no shared energy between the two of you. Rather, you become an audience member to this person’s need to be the center of attention. Attention and respect are probably the two things this person most longs for, and at some point in their lives, they learned that knowing it all was the way to get those needs met. Over time, they have become stuck in this pattern, regardless of the fact that it is no longer working. They may feel afraid of the experience of listening, being receptive, or learning something new, because it’s so unfamiliar. On the one hand, when we see the childlike need underneath the know-it-all’s mask of confidence, we feel compassion for the person, and we may tolerate their one-sided approach to conversation out of a desire not to hurt their feelings. On the other hand, we may be feeling drained and tempted to avoid this person altogether. In the middle of these two possible ways of feeling, we may actually like this person and wish for a closer relationship. If we come from a place of kindness, we might attempt to bridge the gap that this person’s habitual way of relating creates. Simply expressing a desire to be closer may open their heart, and give you a chance to ask for what you need in the relationship—a chance to contribute. Published with permission from Daily OM ***** A Day At A Time Reflection For The Day Some of us, after we’ve taken the Fourth, Fifth, Sixth, and then the Seventh Step, sit back and simply wait for our Higher Power to remove our shortcomings. The Program’s teachings remind us of the story of St. Francis working in a beautiful garden. A passerby said, “You must have prayed very hard, to get such beautiful plants to grow,” The good saint answered, “Yes, I did. But every time I started to pray, I reached for the hoe.” As soon as our “wait” is changed to “dig,” the promise of the Seventh Step begins to become reality. Do I expect my Higher Power to do it all? Today I Pray May I not just pray and wait — for my Higher Power to do everything. Instead may I pray as I reach for the tools The Program gives me. May I ask now for guidance on how I can best use the precious tools. Today I Will Remember Pray And Act ***** One More Day Faults are thick where love is thin. – James Howell We often overlook the faults of people we love. Sometimes, in fact, our love so blinds us that we don’t have to overlook their faults, because we don’t even see them. Yet if our love wavers or if a friendship begins to weaken, it may seem as though our friends have developed numerous flaws or maddening habits. When this happens, we learn to reassess our relationship and ourselves. Rather than conclude that our loved one has become less than he or she was before, we know that change has occurred within us. Then we decide whether the friendship is important enough to try to rebuild it.Sometimes it is, and we work to recapture the trust and communication we once had. Sometimes it isn’t, and we decide to let go of it and, in doing so, let go of resentment and fault-finding. The decision to rebuild or to let go of friendships often rest within me. ************************************************** **************** Food For Thought Exercise We are made to be physically active. When we were loaded down with food and fat, we probably moved around as little as possible. Now that we eat for health, we have the necessary energy to exercise our bodies. Taking the stairs rather than the elevator, walking instead of riding, a few simple calisthenics when we need a break from work, a jump rope – there are many ways to begin an exercise program in easy stages. We do not need to train to become Olympic athletes, but we do need to keep our bodies in good working order. Each day we also need mental, emotional, and spiritual exercise. Reading something worthwhile, refraining from criticism, performing a service for someone anonymously, taking time for prayer and meditation –these are actions which develop our minds, hearts, and spirits. Our growth in the program depends on overcoming resistance and inertia each day and taking concrete steps to improvement. By Your power, may I overcome laziness. |
August 25
You are reading from the book Today's Gift. ... self-love is an unequivocal acceptance of the validity of getting what one wants--of respecting one's needs. --Marion Weinstein Once there was a woman who loved her husband and children so much that she did everything for them and nothing for herself. She thought taking care of herself was selfish. She never considered taking a vacation when she needed it. She stayed to take care of her family no matter what it cost her personally. Then she realized how much she resented them because she wasn't taking care of herself. So she began to ask for what she needed. At first, her family didn't like it. Little by little they began to notice that when she was relaxed, their lives were more serene, too. It wasn't always easy for her to love herself enough to ask for what she needed, but she learned that when she said no to demands she couldn't meet, she felt calm and centered. Best of all, she no longer resented them for asking. When she said yes, she did what they asked with real pleasure. Do I sometimes resent doing things I could have chosen not to do? You are reading from the book Touchstones. To know oneself, one should assert oneself. --Albert Camus We learn about ourselves by bumping up against something solid. By throwing ourselves into a project, meeting an obstacle we can't overcome, perhaps making some mistakes, we learn what we are capable of and what we are not. We are not here to live a comfortable and placid life. Our task is to grow and learn, to make a contribution, and to have some tranquility while we do. The only way we can achieve those goals is to assert ourselves, find out where the solid limits are, and assert our right to make mistakes in the process. When we first learn to drive a car, we over steer and hit the brakes too hard or too softly. In the process we learn how to feel what is just right. When we are learning to ask for what we need and to make a place for ourselves, we may ask too demandingly at times. That is not bad. It is how we will learn to do it well. Today, I will have opportunities to assert myself. I will take the risks required to learn. You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning. In soloing--as in other activities--it is far easier to start something than it is to finish it. --Amelia Earhart Procrastination plagues us all, at one time or another. But any activity that is worthy of our effort should be tackled by bits and pieces, one day at a time. We are too easily overwhelmed when we set our sights only on the accomplished goal. We need to focus, instead, on the individual elements and then on just one element at a time. A book is written, word-by-word. A house is built, timber-by-timber. A college degree is attained, course-by-course. By the time we got to this program, most of us had accumulated a checkered past, much of which we wanted to deny or forget. And the weight of our past can stand in the way of the many possibilities in the present. Our past need not determine what we set out to do today. However, we must be realistic: We can't change a behavior pattern overnight. But we can begin the process. We can decide on a reasonable, manageable objective for this 24-hour period. Enough days committed to the completion of enough small objectives will bring us to the attainment of any goal, large or small. I can finish any task I set my sights on, when I take it one day at a time. Today is before me. I can move forward in a small way. You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go. Willing to Make Amends The Eighth Step is talking about a change of heart, a healing change. This attitude can begin a great chain of repair and healing in our relationships with others and ourselves. It means we become willing to let go of our hard heartedness - one of the greatest blocks to our ability to give and receive love. In the Eighth Step, we make a list of all people we have harmed, and we allow ourselves to experience a healing attitude toward them. It is an attitude of love. We do not, in this Step, dash madly about and begin yelling, "Sorry!" We make our list, not to feel guilty, but to facilitate healing. Before we actually make amends or begin to consider appropriate amends, we allow ourselves to change our attitude. That is where healing begins - within us. It can change the energy. It can change the dynamics. It can begin the process, before we ever open our mouths and say sorry. It opens the door to love. It opens the door to the energy of love and healing. It enables us to release negative feelings and energy, and opens the door to positive feelings and energy. That energy can be felt around the world, and it starts inside us. How often have we, after we have been hurt, wished that the person would simply recognize our pain and say, "I'm sorry?" How often have we wished that the person would simply see us, hear us, and turn the energy of love our way? How often have we longed for at least a change of heart, a small dose of reconciliation, in relationships tainted by unfinished business and bad feelings? Often. Others do too. It is no secret. The energy of healing begins with us. Our willingness to make amends may or may not benefit the other person; he or she may or may not be willing to put matters to rest. But we become healed. We become capable of love. Today, I will work on a change of heart if hard heartedness, defensiveness, guilt, or bitterness are present. I will become willing to let go of those feelings and have them replaced by the healing energy of love. I am so pleased with all the growth that I am experiencing. It is okay to feel good about myself...and I do. --Ruth Fishel ***** Journey to the Heart Where Do You Get Your Energy? Think about your energy. Examine and learn what revitalizes you, refreshes you, renews you. Pumps you up. Makes you feel charged. How do you recharge your battery? Do you wait until your battery is drained, almost dead, before you recharge? Are there people or things in your life that drain you, deplete you? Do you want to let them do that? Where do you go to get recharged? Who are the people who enhance your life force, invigorate you? Who does it feel good to be around? What activities make you feel better? What forms of nature speak to your soul? What opens your heart, helps you feel alive, breathes life into your spirit? Experiment. Spend some time watching, noticing the impact people, activities, and objects have on you. Know that as you change, the impact of your environment, what is around you, may change,too. Tune into your energy field and the energy of the world around you. Learn to be sensitive. Open up to how things feel for you. ***** more language of letting go Show your gratitude Why wait? Show your gratitude today. If someone has been kind, thank him or her today. Yes, we can wait and buy that person dinner next week. But how about writing an e-mail this afternoon or leaving a message on a telephone answering machine telling how much you appreciate the kind words or deeds? We cannot show gratitude without sharing it with someone. When we show our gratitude, it's a way of sharing our joy with that person. Even when we do something as simple as burning a candle to show gratitude to God, it shares our joy with everyone who sees the flame of the candle. It strengthens their faith and reminds them to show their gratitude,too. Make showing and sharing your gratitude a part of your life. If someone does something nice for you, share your happiness with that person. Send a card or make a phone call. If you believe that a prayer has been answered by God, share your gratitude with God. Tell someone, or thank God publicly at your worship service. If you have had a victory in your recovery, show your gratitude by sharing it with others in your group. Then share your gratitude with them for the help they've given,too, Demonstrate gratitude in your actions every day. Gratitude is more than just a thought process and more than just a Sunday-morning activity. Demonstrate your gratitude through your compassion, and your tolerance. Gratitude strengthens and supports our relationships with God and with other people. Make a commitment to show your gratitude by sharing it with others whenever you have the opportunity. We can show our gratitude for life in even our smallest actions. Find a way to demonstrate your gratitude to the universe. Feed the birds! Action gives life to ideas. When we start to look for ways to show our gratitude, we will find more and more to be grateful for. Gratitude is a form of self-expression that must be shared. We cannot have a attitude of gratitude without having an object of that gratitude. Why wait? Show your gratitude today by sharing how grateful you are. God, today I will show you how grateful I am. ***** Focus on the Good Raise Your Vibration There are many ways to raise your vibration including thinking positive and uplifting thoughts. Everything in the universe is made of energy. What differentiates one form of energy from another is the speed at which it vibrates. For example, light vibrates at a very high frequency, and something like a rock vibrates at a lower frequency but a frequency nonetheless. Human beings also vibrate at different frequencies. Our thoughts and feelings can determine the frequency at which we vibrate, and our vibration goes out into the world and attracts to us energy moving at a similar frequency. This is one of the ways that we create our own reality, which is why we can cause a positive shift in our lives by raising our vibration. We all know someone we think of as vibrant. Vibrant literally means “vibrating very rapidly.” The people who strike us as vibrant are vibrating at a high frequency, and they can inspire us as we work to raise our vibration. On the other hand, we all know people that are very negative or cynical. These people are vibrating at a lower frequency. They can also be an inspiration because they can show us where we don’t want to be vibrating and why. To discover where you are in terms of vibrancy, consider where you fall on a scale between the most pessimistic person you know and the most vibrant. This is not in order to pass judgment, but rather it is important to know where you are as you begin working to raise your frequency so that you can notice and appreciate your progress. There are many ways to raise your vibration, from working with affirmations to visualizing enlightened entities during meditation. One of the most practical ways to raise your vibration is to consciously choose where you focus your attention. To understand how powerful this is, take five minutes to describe something you love unreservedly—a person, a movie, an experience. When your five minutes are up, you will noticeably feel more positive and even lighter. If you want to keep raising your vibration, you might want to commit to spending five minutes every day focusing on the good in your life. As you do this, you will train yourself to be more awake and alive. Over time, you will experience a permanent shift in your vibrancy. Published with permission from Daily OM ************************************************** **************** A Day at a Time Reflection for the Day Without freedom from addiction, we have nothing. Yet we can't be free of our addictive obsessions until we become willing to deal with the character defects which brought us to our knees. If we refuse to work on our glaring defects, we'll almost certainly return to our addiction. If we stay clean and sober with a minimum of self-improvement, perhaps we'll settle into a comfortable but dangerous sort of limbo for a while. Best of all, if we continuously work The Steps, striving for fineness of spirit and action, we'll assuredly find true and lasting freedom under God. Am I walking with confidence that I'm at last on the right track? Today I Pray May God show me that freedom from addiction is an insecure state unless I can be freed also of my compulsions. May God keep me from a half-hearted approach to The Program, and make me know that I cannot be spiritually whole if I am still torn apart by my own dishonesty and selfishness. Today I Will Remember Half-hearted, I cannot be whole. ************************************************** **************** Food For Thought Being Available In our search for security, we turned to food in times of stress. Now we are growing in reliance on our Higher Power instead of food. We do not, however, “use” the Higher Power the way we tried to use food. We do not use God; He uses us. What we do is make ourselves available to the Higher Power, and open to light and guidance. We pray each day that we may do His will, not ours. Often this means a more flexible schedule than we may have had in the past. Since the Higher Power is ever creative and new, we cannot cling to our old routines and habits. To insist on our time, our way, our plan is to block out God’s guidance. Sometimes we may be called on to perform a service, which means giving up our plan for the day. When the prompting comes from deep within, following it will further our growth in the program. Today I will be available for Your use. |
August 26
You are reading from the book Today's Gift. ... I cannot see The love you offer. --Emily Dickinson How can we make love visible; how can we give it eyes? We can make love a present, wrap it carefully as if it were a beautiful thing. We can make love a favor nobody foresaw; we can fill a cup, prepare a meal, run an errand with our love. We can make love out of real words--in a letter, a note, a simple unrhymed poem. And we can make our love visible with our eyes by making our eyes meet those of the people we love. When we turn a feeling like love into an act, we share it with those around us, and they are encouraged to return the favor, and in this way, the world's storehouse of love increases. How can I show the love I feel today? You are reading from the book Touchstones. Lying to ourselves is more deeply ingrained than lying to others. --Fyodor Dostoyevsky The primary requirement for our recovery is honesty. In order to grow in honesty we first needed to see how we had lied to others and to ourselves. This was not as easy as it first appeared. Our lies to ourselves kept us so fully in the dark that we did not know we were lying. We sometimes told "sincere" lies because we honestly did not distinguish the truth within ourselves. For so long we had preferred dishonest rationalizations, and we had come to believe them. The spiritual life of this program is based upon experience. What we feel, what we see and hear, is what we know. When we simplify our lives and base the truth upon our experiences, we slowly cleanse ourselves of the lies we told ourselves. With this kind of honesty comes an inner peace with ourselves in whom we can say, "I know myself." Today, I will accept my experience as a simple message of truth. You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning. A woman who has no way of expressing herself and of realizing herself as a full human has nothing else to turn to but the owning of material things. --Enriqueta Longeaux y Vasquez Each of us struggling with these Twelve Steps is finding self-expression and self-definition. Introspection, coupled with self-revelation through sharing with others, affords us the awareness of how like others we are. How human we are. And what we receive from others who respond to our vulnerability diminishes our need for "things" to fill our lives. The love that we receive freely from a trusting, caring friend or group fills up the empty places in our souls, the places we used to try filling up with alcohol or cookies or sex. New clothes maybe even a new home or a different job served their terms as void fillers too. Nothing succeeded for long, and then the program found us. The program is the filler for all times. Of this we can be certain. Time will alleviate any doubts we may have. All that is asked of us is openness, honesty, and attention to others' needs as well as our own. I can share our likenesses and relish whatever differences may surface. The chain of friendship I've created makes me the proud owner of my wholeness. I am a succeeding woman who is moving forward with courage and self-awareness on this, my road of life. You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go. Making Amends Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others. --Step Nine of Al-Anon When we make amends we need to be clear about what we're apologizing for and the best way to say we're sorry. What we are really doing with our amends is taking responsibility for our behavior. We need to be sure that the process itself will not be self defeating or hurtful. Sometimes, we need to directly apologize for a particular thing we have done or our part in a problem. Other times, instead of saying "I'm sorry," what we need to do is work on changing our behavior with a person. There are times when bringing up what we have done and apologizing for it will make matters worse. We need to trust timing, intuition, and guidance in this process of making amends. Once we become willing, we can let go and tackle our amends in a peaceful, consistent, harmonious way. If nothing feels right or appropriate, if it feels as if what we are about to do will cause a crisis or havoc, we need to trust that feeling. Attitude, honesty, openness, and willingness count here. In peace and harmony, we can strive to clear up our relationships. We deserve to be at peace with others and ourselves. Today, I will be open to making any amends I need to make with people. I will wait for Divine Guidance in the process of making any amends that are not clear to me. I will act, when led. God, help me let go of my fear about facing people and taking responsibility for my behaviors. Help me know I am not diminishing my self-esteem by doing this; I am improving it. Today I am open to be touched by joy, by love, by nature. Today I put aside all the happiness that I seek so that I can be free to experience the joy of this very moment...right now. --Ruth Fishel ***** Journey to the Heart Open to Universal Love Are you living with the belief that universal love isn't there for you? When we look at what we've been through, sometimes we feel sad and abandoned. We see others dancing along their path, getting blessings, special help, gifts along the way. Then we turn to our own lives and see only those times we've been let down and left out, the times that life, people, and the world haven't been there for us. Universal love may be real, you say, but it's just not real for me. Open your eyes. Open your heart. Open yourself to the universe. Begin to see and notice all the gifts you're given-- the clues, the direction, the support. Stop looking to one person or source and let life's magic dance for you. See how you get what you need. See how naturally the guidance comes when you trust that it will be there. See the smiles, see the friendship, feel the inspiration. Feel the loving touch of a hand on your arm. Say what you need. Say it aloud. Direct your words to the universe. Treat it as if it were a loving friend, and it will treat you the same way. Universal love is there for you. Learn to recognize its touch and rhythm, for it is the rhythm of life and love. ***** more language of letting go Find the gratitude Here's an interesting phenomenon about gratitude: it's difficult to feel too bad when we're feeling grateful. Your mind has room for only one thought at a time. If you fill it with gratitude, there isn't room for negativity. Today, be grateful for your life. Allow that gratitude to carry over into your activities and to flavor all of your interactions. Think of one thing to be grateful about in each activity you do, with each person you interact with, and in each task that you do. Find the gratitude in your life and you'll find joy standing right next to it. God, help me look for the good in my life. ***** The Mirroring World We Are like Nature As humans our lives are completely intertwined with the cycles and rhythms of nature. Nature is a mirror, inspiring and teaching us, deepening our sense of belonging in the world. Wherever you look, you can see that our patterns and the patterns of the natural world are the same. You can find this resonance in every form, from molecules to plants and animals and to planets. We live our lives according to the same principles as the trees, the mountains, the clouds, and the birds. We begin our lives in the womb, folded in on ourselves like the bud of a flower. We can see our whole lives in the mirror of this natural form. When we emerge from the womb, we slowly begin our unfolding, just as the flower begins to open its petals. At its prime, the flower draws many insects to it and also the eyes of appreciative humans. When the flower’s petals begin to fade and its life cycle comes to an end, it ceases to hold itself upright and returns to the earth. Traditionally, we return to the earth, just as all plants and animals do. Like flowers, we leave behind seeds in the forms of children and other gifts only we could have given. They continue to unfold even after we are gone. Rebirth is encoded into our lives, and death is just one part of the cycle. Look around you, and you will find connection and insight. Notice how your moods shift from one to another like the sky shifts from bright blue to turbulent grays. Your thoughts are like clouds, appearing, changing shape, passing through, and then disappearing without a trace. The rain cleanses the sky, just as an emotional release cleanses your mind. The sky itself is your eternal awareness, unchanging underneath all these permutations. Let it reflect back to you your own abiding perfection. As you walk through the world, find your own metaphors for connectedness in nature. Flesh them out fully and follow them as they lead you through the mystery and intelligence of life. Published with permission from Daily OM ************************************************** **************** A Day at a Time Reflection for the Day We all want to be rid of our most obvious and destructive flaws. No one wants to be so greedy that s/he's labeled a thief. No one wants to be angry enough to kill, lustful enough to rape, gluttonous enough to become ill. No one wants to be agonized by envy or paralyzed by procrastination. Of course, few of us suffer these defects at such rock-bottom levels. Not that that's reason to congratulate ourselves; chances are, pure self-interest enabled us to escape such extremes. Not much spiritual effort is involved in avoiding excesses which will bring severe punishment. When I face up to the less violent and less deadly aspects of the very same defects, where do I stand then? Today I Pray May I give myself no back-pats for not committing murder or rape, beating up a rival, robbing a sweets shop or stealing from a down-and-outer. In all humility, may I understand that these are only more violent manifestations of human flaws I harbor in myself. May God give me the perseverance to change these from inside, rather than just lessening the degree to which I act them out for the world to see. Today I Will Remember Change the inside first. ************************************************** ***************** Food For Thought A Living Program The Twelve Steps are a program for living and they are also a living program. Taking them is not something we do once and for all, but something we repeat over and over in greater depth. They are our guidelines for each day. Our program develops as our understanding matures. When we first join OA, physical abstinence from compulsive overeating may be all we can handle. As we learn from fellow members and are increasingly exposed to the power of the group, our program comes to include more emotional and spiritual elements. The possibilities for development are limitless. One thing leads to another. The creative force that guides OA directs our individual efforts. When we are open to the challenges and willing to give up self-will, we make progress, which gratifies and astounds us. This program not only works as we work it; it also grows as we grow. We thank You for Your creative spirit. |
August 27
You are reading from the book Today's Gift. If you have butterflies in your stomach ask them into your heart. --Cooper Edens We've all had butterflies in our stomachs. It happens on the first day of school or the first day on a new job. It happens most anytime we try something new or risky. These butterflies are nervous and fluttery and sometimes we wish we could just go back to bed. But the best thing we can do, and sometimes the only thing, is go right ahead and walk into that new situation with head held high. We will probably feel awkward at first, but that is natural and it will pass. Our nervousness can change into excitement and joy for what we are doing. We can begin to feel proud when we walk through our fear. It is a true accomplishment when we don't let our fear stop us--when, instead, we let the butterfly in our hearts unfold. When I have the butterflies today, will I enjoy their beauty? You are reading from the book Touchstones. One cannot always be a hero, but one can always be a man. --Goethe In our all or nothing and grandiose lifestyles, many of us have had a lot of experience being heroes and being failures. Until we had achieved some sanity we didn't have much experience with being ordinary, genuine men. Many of us thought there was something fundamentally wrong with us. We tried to be great, and when we failed we felt less than human. Our shame in those experiences seemed to say we would never be normal again. We are learning that being genuine is far more fulfilling than being great. We no longer have to swing between the opposite extremes of hero and coward. When we become honest with ourselves, we develop an internally respectful relationship with ourselves. That is when we become true men. The courage it has taken for us and others on this journey to become honest is heroic in the deepest sense of the word. As I find the courage to be honest, I will become more genuine. You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning. Acceptance is not submission; it is acknowledgment of the facts of a situation. Then deciding what you're going to do about it. --Kathleen Casey Theisen Recovery offers us courage to make choices about the events of our lives. Passive compliance with whatever is occurring need no longer dominate our pattern of behavior. Powerlessly watching our lives go by was common for many of us, and our feelings of powerlessness escalated the more idle we were. Today, action is called for, thoughtful action in response to the situations begging for our attention. Recovery's greatest gift is the courage to take action, to make decisions that will benefit us as well as the people who are close to us. Courage is the byproduct of our spiritual progress, courage to accept what we cannot change, believing that all will be well, courage to change in ourselves what we do have control over. An exhilaration about life accompanies the taking of action. The spell that idleness casts over us is broken, and subsequent actions are even easier to take. Clearly, making a choice and acting on it is healthful. The program has given us the tools to do both. Decisions will be called for today. I will be patient with myself, and thoughtful. I will listen closely to the guidance that comes from those around me. You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go. Procrastination Procrastination - not acting when the time is right - is a self-defeating behavior. It produces anxiety, guilt, disharmony, and a nagging consciousness of the task that life is telling us it's time to do. We are not always procrastinating when we put off doing something. Sometimes, doing a thing before the time is right can be as self-defeating as waiting too long. We can earn to discern the difference. Listen to yourself. Listen to the Universe. What is past due and creating anxiety and prodding within you? Is there something in your life you are avoiding because you don't want to face it? Is there a building anxiety from putting this off? Sometimes anger, fear, or feeling helpless can motivate procrastination. Sometimes, procrastination has simply become habitual. Trust and listen to yourself, your Higher Power, and the Universe. Watch for signs and signals. If it is time to do something, do it now. If it is not yet time, wait until the time is right. God, help me learn to be on time and in harmony with my life. Help me tune in to and trust Divine Timing and Order. Today I am discovering who I am. Today I am becoming my person, worthy of developing all of me. Today I am beginning to know that I am okay just the way I am. --Ruth Fishel ***** Journey to the Heart Let Your Storms Subside Watch the pounding surf. Watch the waves lap against the shore, their beginnings somewhere far out to sea, their beginnings in a storm we might never see. Know your oneness with those waves, with the water of the sea. Your emotions are like the surf. Sometimes they pound gently, sometimes fiercely. Sometimes the color is blue, sometimes gray. They may be the result of a storm, sometimes a squall far away. Let them pound. Let them pass through. Let them subside. Let them turn into the next wave. Each emotion is connected to a belief, a belief embedded in your soul. I am abandoned. I am deserted. I am separated from God and love. But you are not your emotions. Your emotions don't control your life, no matter how fierce, no matter how strong. No matter how relentless. No matter, at times, how overwhelming. Let the emotions pass through. Feel all you need to feel. Say all you need to say to let the storm subside. Then pause. Wait. Rest. Let your body regroup and heal. You will have grown. You will have changed. And you'll be on your way to learning something new. ***** more language of letting go Stop ruining your fun Stop comparing and judging. Those two behaviors can drain all the jor out of a perfectly good life. We compare this time in our lives to another time. Then we decide that this time is worse, not as much fun. Or we compare our life to someone else's, and we decide the other person is having more fun and success than we are. Comparison is judgemental. We judge this to be better than that, and this to be worse than the other. By comparing and judging, we deny ourselves the beauty of the moment and the wonder of the life that's in front of us now. Instead of deciding if a situation is good or bad, just be thankful for it-- the way it is. Most times are neither good nor bad, unless we attribute those judgements to them. Most things simply are, and they are what they are, at this moment in time. Go into the moment. Let it be what it is-- free of judgements and comparison. Can you believe how beautiful it is, right now, right here where you are? Why didn't you see that before? If comparing and judging is draining all the joy out of your life, start putting some fun back in it by applying a little gratitude, instead. God, help me put the fun back in life by letting each moment be what it is, without comparing it to anything else. ***** Peeling Away the Layers Trees Shedding Their Bark by Madisyn Taylor Like a tree our growth depends upon our ability to soften, loosen, and shed boundaries and defenses we no longer need. Trees grow up through their branches and down through their roots into the earth. They also grow wider with each passing year. As they do, they shed the bark that served to protect them but now is no longer big enough to contain them. In the same way, we create boundaries and develop defenses to protect ourselves and then, at a certain point, we outgrow them. If we don’t allow ourselves to shed our protective layer, we can’t expand to our full potential. Trees need their protective bark to enable the delicate process of growth and renewal to unfold without threat. Likewise, we need our boundaries and defenses so that the more vulnerable parts of ourselves can safely heal and unfold. But our growth also depends upon our ability to soften, loosen, and shed boundaries and defenses we no longer need. It is often the case in life that structures we put in place to help us grow eventually become constricting. Unlike a tree, we must consciously decide when it’s time to shed our bark and expand our boundaries, so we can move into our next ring of growth. Many spiritual teachers have suggested that our egos don’t disappear so much as they become large enough to hold more than just our small sense of self—the boundary of self widens to contain people and beings other than just “me.” Each time we shed a layer of defensiveness or ease up on a boundary that we no longer need, we metaphorically become bigger people. With this in mind, it is important that we take time to question our boundaries and defenses. While it is essential to set and honor the protective barriers we have put in place, it is equally important that we soften and release them when the time comes. In doing so, we create the space for our next phase of growth. Published with permission from Daily OM ******************************************* A Day At A Time August 27 Reflection For The Day Taking a long hard look at those defects I’m unwilling or reluctant to give up, I ought to rub out the rigid lines I’ve drawn. Perhaps, in some cases, I’ll then be able to say, “well, this one I can’t give up yet…” The one thing I shouldn’t say: “This one I’ll never give up, “ The minute we say, “no, never,” our minds close against the grace of God. Such rebelliousness,l as we have seen in the experiences of others, may turn out to be fatal. Instead, we should abandon limited objectives and begin to move toward God’s will for us. Am I learning never to say “never…”? Today I Pray May God remove any blocks of rebellion which make me bulk at changing my undesirable qualities. Out of my delusion that I am “unique” and “special” and somehow safe from consequences, I confess that God that I have defied the natural laws of health sanity, along with Divine laws of human kindness. May God drain away the defiance which is such a protected symptom of my addiction. Today I Will Remember Defiance is an offspring of delusion. ******************************************* One More Day August 27 The essence of optimism is that it … enables a man to hold his head high, to claim the future for himself and not abandon it to his enemy. – Dietrich Bonhoeffer “she always looks to the sour side,” we’ve heard it said, or “He always has a pleasant smile.” The difference, as we all know, between an optimist and a pessimist is entirely in their attitudes. A pessimist sees little, if anything, to look forward to in life. In that case, life is tediously lived. If we think in positive ways, we see the good. That good becomes the primary part of our lives. An optimist, regardless of personal problems, is eager to arise in the morning — to get to work, to be with friends or family, to live the happiness of the day. People are drawn toward optimists, for their joy shines on everyone around them. Life is an adventure of choices to be lived, not an ordeal to be survived. I choose optimism and joy. ************************************************** *************** Food For Thought Accepting Reality Failure, death, divorce, disease, and betrayal – these are all part of the world we live in. We agonizingly search our minds to figure out why, but are unable to come up with any satisfying answers. We pray for the serenity to accept the reality of life. Previously, we tried to deny reality by overeating. What that did was make reality worse for us. Abstaining from compulsive overeating and working the steps of the OA program give us the strength to cope with reality and accept the things we cannot change. We often feel as though we are on a long uphill climb. Let’s not forget that if it were not for abstinence and our Higher Power, we would be rapidly sliding downhill. Whatever our situation, it is better to face it squarely than to delude ourselves with excess food. None of us escapes pain and suffering. By turning them over to our Higher Power, we are strengthened by our hardships, rather than destroyed. May we have the courage and strength to accept life as it is. |
August 28
You are reading from the book Today's Gift. The route you take depends a good deal upon where you want to go. --Lewis Carroll Day after day, the father drove to work along the same dreary highway to the same dreary job. Sometimes his daughter went to his office with him. On one of these occasions she noticed a winding road running parallel to the highway. "Oh, Daddy, let's take that road today," she suggested. After some grumbling and mumbling, the father agreed and turned off to take the side road. To their delight, the road was lined with full trees and a rainbow of flowers. They came upon a quaint little village in which there was an office with a sign in the window, which said, "Clerk Wanted. Inquire Within." The job seemed perfect and the man accepted it with excitement he hadn't felt in many years. Sometimes we have to risk taking a different path in order to arrive at a different place. How else can we change things in our lives that need to be changed? And how easy to do it, once we're willing to risk something out of the ordinary. What can I do that's out of the ordinary today? You are reading from the book Touchstones. I am still learning. --Michelangelo's motto Is it okay for a man to say he does not know? Our myths of masculinity tell us we are supposed to know all about how to be great lovers, how to do a job, how to get from here to there. We should never look confused or bewildered because someone will think we are weak. This is certainly a boyish attitude! How can we ever learn anything new if we can't look like beginners? That's the way to be an underachiever. In our growing up, we can shed these small ideas and have the strength to admit we don't always know. Many of us have had the experience of growing in years without growing more mature. Having a sponsor is one of the ways we can clearly arrange to be learners. We can also learn from the fellowship of other men and women in our group. To be learners, we need to be honest and straightforward about what we already know as well as about what we do not know. When we are willing to be learners, we grow emotionally. I will be honest about things I don't know so I can continue to learn. You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning. There are sounds to seasons. There are sounds to places, and there are sounds to every time in one's life. --Alison Wyrley Birch Live is rich and full. Your life. My life. Even when the day feels flat or hollow, there's a richness to it that escapes our attention. We see only what we choose to see. We hear selectively, too. Our prejudgment precludes our getting the full effects of any experience. Some days we hear only the drum of the humdrum. But the greater our faith in the program and a loving God, the clearer our perceptions become. We miss less of the day's events; we grow in our understanding of our unfolding, and we perceive with clarity the role others are playing in our lives. We can see life as a concert in progress when we transcend our own narrow scope and appreciate the variety of people and situations all directed toward the same finale. The more we're in tune with the spiritual activity surrounding us; the more harmoniously we will be able to perform our parts. I will listen to the music of today. I will get in tune, in rhythm. I am needed for the concert's beauty. You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go. Taking Care of Ourselves on the Job It's okay to take care of ourselves on the job. It is not only okay, it is necessary. Taking care of ourselves on the job means we deal with feelings appropriately; we take responsibility for ourselves. We detach, when detachment is called for. We set boundaries, when we need to do that. We negotiate conflicts; we try to separate our issues from the other person's issues, and we don't expect perfection from others or ourselves. We let go of our need to control that which we cannot control. Instead, we strive for peace and manageability, owning our power to be who we are and to take care of ourselves. We do not tolerate abuse, nor do we abuse or mistreat anyone else. We work at letting go of our fear and developing appropriate confidence. We try to learn from our mistakes, but we forgive ourselves when we make them. We try to not set ourselves up by taking jobs that couldn't possibly work out, or jobs that aren't right for us. If we find ourselves in one of those circumstances, we address the issue responsibly. We figure out what our responsibilities are, and we generally stick to those, unless another agreement is made. We leave room for great days, and not so great days. We are gentle and loving with people whenever possible, but we are assertive and firm when that is called for. We accept our strengths and build on them. We accept our weaknesses and limitations, including the limitations of our power. We strive to stop trying to control and change what is not our business to change. We focus on what is our responsibility and what we can change. We set reasonable goals. We take ourselves into account. We strive for balance. Sometimes, we give ourselves a good gripe session to let it all out, but we do that appropriately, in a way meant to take care of ourselves and release our feelings, not to sabotage ourselves. We strive to avoid malicious gossip and other self defeating behaviors. We avoid competition; strive for cooperation and a loving spirit. We understand that we may like some people we work with and dislike others, but strive to find harmony and balance with everyone. We do not deny how we feel about a certain person, but we strive to maintain good working relationships wherever possible. When we don't know, we say we don't know. When we need help, we ask for it directly. When panic sets in, we address the panic as a separate issue and try not to let our work and behavior be controlled by panic. We strive to take responsible care of ourselves by appropriately asking for what we need at work, while not neglecting ourselves. If we are part of a team, we strive for healthy teamwork as an opportunity to learn how to work in cooperation with others. If something gets or feels crazy, if we find ourselves working with a person who is addicted or has some kind of dysfunction that is troublesome, we do not make ourselves crazier by denying the problem. We accept it and strive in peace to figure out what we need to do to take care of ourselves. We let go of our need to be martyrs or rescuers at work. We know we do not have to stay in situations that make us miserable. Instead of sabotaging a system or ourselves, we plan a positive solution, understanding we need to take responsibility for ourselves along the way. We remove ourselves as victims, and we work at believing we deserve the best. We practice acceptance, gratitude, and faith. One day at a time, we strive to enjoy what is good, solve the problems that are ours to solve, and give the gift of ourselves at work. Today, I will pay attention to what recovery behavior I could practice that would improve my work life. I will take care of myself on the job. God, help me let go of my need to be victimized by work. Help me be open to all the good stuff that is available to me through work. Today I am worthy of being gentle with myself. I am worthy of it and I am going to give myself gentleness and softness. I am developing a new habit of being softer with myself today.... of not driving myself so hard. --Ruth Fishel ***** Journey to the Heart Make Yourself at Home Once you accept yourself unconditionally, you'll be surprised at how comfortable you begin to feel, no matter where you are. We may have tricked ourselves into thinking our security came from outside ourselves-- that we needed certain other people or places, needed certain objects or items around us, or had to live our lives in a particular way to feel secure. But relying on things and people outside ourselves provides a false sense of security. False security will be shown for what it is. There's a real security, a true safety, available to us all, no matter who we are, where we are, or what we're doing. That security comes from accepting ourselves. That security comes from trusting ourselves, trusting our hearts, our wisdom, our connection to the Divine and to the universe around us. Once we accept ourselves unconditionally, no matter where we are, it will feel like home. ***** more language of letting go Say thanks for the ordinary Don't overlook the wonder of the ordinary. The extraordinary, the amazing, the phenomenon are daily glorified in the movies, the news, and on television. Our senses become bombarded. We become addicted to drama. The only things that get our attention are the big, catastrophic, knee-jerking events. Take a closer look at your life, your everyday world, and the people and activities in it. If it were all taken from you in one moment, what would you miss? What sights, what sounds, what smells? Would you miss the view from your kitchen window? If you were never to see that scene again, would you nostalgically reminisce about it, wishing you could see it one more time, remembering how beautiful it was, and how much that familiar sight comforted you in your daily life? What about those toys strewn about or the baby crying, because he's hungry or wet? What about the sounds of the city you live in, as it comes to life each morning? Or how about how your child smells after her bath? Or when she comes in cold from playing in the snow? What about the way your friend smiles, or that little thing he says all the time and it's not funny but he thinks it is, so you laugh? Look closely at the ordinary in your life. While you're being grateful, don't forget to express pure, sheer gratitude for how beautiful the ordinary really is. We can easily overlook the ordinary, take it for granted. The sun rises and sets, the seasons come and go, and we forget how beautiful and sensational the familiar really is. God, thank you for every detail of my ordinary, everyday world. ***** Light of the Party Confidence in Social Situations by Madisyn Taylor If you feel shy or awkward in social situations, know that many others are probably feeling the same way too. If you’ve ever been to a social gathering where you’ve felt awkward and uncomfortable, chances are you are not alone. While social gatherings can be very enjoyable, especially when we are surrounded by people whose company we enjoy, there are social events that we attend where we sometimes find ourselves wishing we were someplace else. Such occasions can sometimes be the cause of much anxiety and self-consciousness. We may even feel like everyone else is having a good time except for us. Yet the truth is that everyone has felt shy and awkward on occasion. One of the best ways to overcome self-consciousness or get past your feelings of shyness at social gatherings is to focus on the people around you. If you can remember that other people might also be feeling awkward or shy, you might find the thought of speaking to them less intimidating or overwhelming. The next time there is a social event you feel nervous about attending, you may want to try this exercise: Spend some time with your eyes closed and breathe deeply. When you feel ready, create your own zone of comfort by visualizing yourself surrounded in a warm white light that is protective yet accepting of others. Imagine people at the event being drawn to you because of the open and warm feelings that you are radiating. When you arrive at the event, take a moment to spread this same light of loving acceptance to everyone around you. Smile and greet people warmly. Try going up to someone who is standing alone and introduce yourself. When you radiate acceptance, openness, and receptivity, people can’t help but respond to you in kind. Focusing on how we can make other people at a social gathering feel at ease can help us forget about our own insecurities. In the process, we end up making the very connections that we seek. The next time you attend a social gathering, invite people to join you in your zone of comfort that you have so lovingly and intentionally created. Let yourself enjoy being encircled in the warmth of their friendships. Published with permission from Daily OM ***** A Day At A Time August 28 Reflection For The Day “Prayer does not change God,” wrote Soren Kierkegaard, “but it changes him who prays.” Those of us in The Program who’ve learned to make regular use of prayer would no more do without it than we’d trun down sunshine, fresh air, or food — and for the same reason. Just as the body can wither and fail for lack of nourishment, so can the soul. We all need the light of God’s reality, the nourishment of His strenth, and the atmosphere of His Grace. Do I thank God for all that He has given me, for all that He has taken away from me, and for all He has left me? Today I Pray Dear H.P.; I want to thank you for spreading calm over my confusion, for making the jangled chords of my human relationships harmonize again, for putting together the shattered pieces of my Humpty Dumpty self, for giving me as a sobriety present a whole great expanded world of marvels and opportunities. May I remain truly Yours, Yours truly. Today I Will Remember Prayer, however simple, nourishes the soul. ***** One More Day August 28 Pain is life — the sharper, the more evidence of life. – Charles Lamb We all have pain in our lives. This is not necessarily illness, but deeper emotional pain caused by our perception of failure or success. Caused by a relationship ending. Caused by loss. Caused by giving up unrealistic goals. We all experience pain. We gain knowledge that pain broadens our base of experience and can make us stronger — or weaker. And we are the ones who ultimately have to carry the burden and joy of our lives. There’s more here than “pain in life.” It’s how we learn to handle our pain, how we react to what has caused our pain, and how we have made others feel about our pain that matters the most. I choose to be a survivor. My experience can enrich my life. ************************************************** ***************** Food For Thought Willingness When we were overeating, we were negative and fearful. We alternated between avoiding work and feeling responsible for everybody and everything. An important part of our recovery is willingness: we become willing to change, willing to abstain, willing to learn. As we work the program, we become willing to allow our Higher Power to remove our character defects. All of this does not happen overnight. When we get discouraged and make mistakes, we are willing to try again. We are willing to follow the lead of our Higher Power. As we see evidence of His care, we begin to trust that He will not require of us more than we are capable of doing. To be willing is to hold ourselves ready and available for God’s direction. We do not jump into situations prematurely, and we do not close our minds in refusal to change. We are willing to grow and serve and, especially, willing to believe. Increase my willingness. |
August 29
You are reading from the book Today's Gift. When you meet a man, you judge him by his clothes; when you leave, you judge him by his heart. --Russian Proverb The woman on the park bench was gnarled and dirty. Her hair was an uncombed mess, her clothes torn and old. She clutched a paper bag to her side, which seemed to contain her belongings. She sat in the sun, humming to herself. Occasionally she threw a bit of popcorn to ducks who waited at her feet. A little boy and his mother sat by the lake, not wanting to share the bench with this wild-eyed old woman. But when the old woman beckoned to the little boy to share her popcorn with him, he ran to the bench and let out squeals of laughter as they fed the hungry ducks. Our world is full of variety and surprises. Would we have it any other way? When we shun someone because of the way they look, we cut ourselves off from part of life. But when we are ready for anything--accepting and trusting--we are a wonder to everyone. How shall I judge people today? You are reading from the book Touchstones. To be a man means to be a fellow man. --Leo Baeck Sometimes we become overburdened with frustration and disappointment in our lives. When we turn inward and focus only on our problems, we may be cutting ourselves off from the healing effect of contact with others. Today, there may be a new group member who would appreciate a phone call from us. Perhaps we could visit an aged person or someone who is sick. Help is always needed in providing food to the hungry. Perhaps a co-worker would welcome our assistance on a task or errand. When we help others, we affirm our solidarity with them in their stress and suffering. We don't give help because we are better or without problems of our own, but because we suffer too. When we act as fellowmen, the comradeship and human contact we get provide us with as much help as we give. They liberate us from our own oppressive egos and make us see we are worthwhile men. I affirm myself as a man when I stand in solidarity with others and help them in their need. You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning. Life is either a daring adventure or nothing. --Helen Keller The next 24 hours are guaranteed to excite us, to lift us to new levels of understanding, to move us into situations with others where we can offer our unique contributions. All that is asked of us is a willingness to trust that we will be given just what we need at each moment. We can dare to live, fully, just for today. We can appreciate the extraordinariness of every breath we take, every challenge we encounter. Within each experience is the invitation for us to grow, to reach out to others in caring ways, to discover more fully the women we are capable of being. We must not let a single moment go by unnoticed. When we withdraw from life, we stunt our growth. We need involvement with others, involvement that perturbs us, humors us, even stresses us. We tap our internal resources only when we have been pushed to our limits, and our participation in life gifts us, daily, with that push. How necessary the push! None of us will pass this way again. What we see and feel and say today are gone forever. We have so much to regret when we let things slip away, unnoticed or unappreciated. A special series of events has been planned for me today. I shall not miss it. You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go. Owning Our Energy Learn to keep your energy inside. --From Women, Sex, and Addiction Charlotte Davis Kasl, Ph.D. For many reasons, we may have mastered the art of giving away our energy. We may have learned it when we were young because the feelings we had were too overwhelming to feel, and we did not know how to process them. Much of our obsessing, our intense focus on others, is done to facilitate this "out of body" experience we call codependency. We obsess, we babble, we become anxious. We try to control, care take, and fuss over others. Our energy spills out of us on to whomever. Our energy is our energy. Our feelings, thoughts, issues, love, sexuality; our mental, physical, spiritual, sexual, creative, and emotional energy is ours. We can learn to have healthy boundaries - healthy parameters - around our energy and ourselves. We can learn to keep our energy within ourselves and deal with our issues. If we are trying to escape from our body, if our energy is spilling out of us in unhealthy ways, we can ask ourselves what is going on, what is hurting us, what we are avoiding, what we need to face, what we need to deal with. Then, we can do that. We can come back home to live - in ourselves. Today, I will keep my energy in my body. I will stay focused and within my boundaries. God, help me let go of my need to escape myself. Help me face my issues so I am comfortable living in my body. Everywhere I turn I find positive and loving people. My heart is full of peace and love. --Ruth Fishel ***** Journey to the Heart First Heal Your Heart I checked into the lodge in Sedona, certain I was there to get my job done. I told the woman behind the desk, a delightful soul with brown hair, brown eyes, a warm smile, and an open heart, why I was there-- to begin writing this book. "Maybe you will," she said, "but that's not why you're really here. You came here to cleanse the past and heal your broken heart.' I looked at her in surprise. I knew what she said was true. Many of us show up at a place in our lives with a particular agenda. We think we are there to get the job done, build a relationship, accomplish a task. Then, life takes a twist, one we didn't quite expect or plan on. We discover we're at a certain place for a reason different from what we thought. The real reason we're there is to cleanse the past and heal our broken heart. Healing our heart is a worthwhile mission, more purposeful perhaps than the one we intended. Healing our heart is worthwhile and crucial, something that often needs to be done first, so that we can accomplish what we intended. The biggest block to service and love is a broken heart. To care about life again, to open our hearts, to dare to dream, to risk love again, we must first heal our hearts. Decide on your mission. Be clear on your purpose. But remember, first things need to be done first. Maybe you're where you are today for a reason other than you thought. Maybe the first thing to do is cleanse the past and heal your heart. ***** more language of letting go Spiral up I was flying the airplane one day, practicing my turns, when I turned to my instructor,Rob. "Something doesn't feel quite right to me," I said. "The horizon looks a little bit off." "That's because you've got us in a graveyard spiral," he said. "If you keep going like this, we'll keep spiraling faster and faster until we lose control and crash into the ground." "Aaaah!" I said. "You've got the controls. Get us out of this mess." The spiral had just begun. Rob easily restored the plane to coordinated flight, with a slight twist of his wrist. I was greatly relieved. Sometimes in life, we can get a little complacent. We begin grumbling about a few little things. We start seeing the negative things about our jobs, our families, our romantic relationships, our friends. Or we get weary and tired of being alone, and not being able to meet anyone we want to date. Maybe nothing is really wrong in our career, but it just isn't giving us the pizzazz we'd prefer. So we start grumbling and complaining about how bad it is. We see other people making more money than we are, getting better breaks, and doing something that looks like more fun to us. It's not that anything is wrong; it's just that things don't seem good enough. Than we find more things that irritate us about our friends, our co-workers, and our boss. Soon, most of what we see looks depressing and wrong. The negative is accentuated in everything we see. That's a good indication that we're in a graveyard spiral,too. Some people in this world need a special technique to get peacefully, joyfully, and harmoniously through their lives. I'm not saying this applies to everyone, but I know it applies to me. Every day in my life, I need to deliberately, consciously apply large doses of gratitude to everything I see. Look! If instead of seeing this beautiful horizon or the clouds, all you can see is down, apply gratitude and humility to each aspect of your life. In a few moments, you'll restore yourself to coordinated flight. God, help me use the powerful remedy of gratitude as a tool for daily transformation in my life. ***** Small Steps to Big Change Making Big Change Easier by Madisyn Taylor When making big change in our life, it can be easier to break it up into a few small changes to avoid overwhelm. When we decide that it’s time for big changes in our lives, it is wise to ease into them by starting small. Small changes allow us to grow into a new habit and make it a permanent part of our lives, whereas sudden changes may cause a sense of failure that makes it difficult to go on, and we are more likely to revert to our old ways. Even if we have gone that route and find ourselves contemplating the choice to start over again, we can decide to take it slowly this time, and move forward. Sometimes the goals we set for ourselves are merely indicators of the need for change and are useful in getting us moving in the right direction. But it is possible that once we try out what seemed so ideal, we may find that it doesn’t actually suit us, or make us feel the way we had hoped. By embarking on the path slowly, we have the chance to look around and consider other options as we learn and grow. We have time to examine the underlying values of the desire for change and find ways to manifest those feelings, whether it looks exactly like our initial goal or not. Taking small steps forward gives us time to adjust and find secure footing on our new path. Life doesn’t always give us the opportunity to anticipate or prepare for a big change, and we may find ourselves overwhelmed by what is in front of us. By choosing one thing to work on at a time, we focus our attention on something manageable, and eventually we will look up to see that we have accomplished quite a bit. Forcing change is, in essence, a sign that we do not trust the universe’s wisdom. Instead, we can listen to our inner guidance and make changes at a pace that is right for us, ensuring that we do so in alignment with the rhythm of the universe. Published with permission from Daily OM ******************************************* A Day At A Time August 29 Reflection For The Day Prayer can have many rewards. One of the greatest rewards is the sense of belonging it brings to me. No longer do I live as a stranger in a strange land, alien in a completely hostile world. No longer am I lost, frightened and purposeless. I belong. We find, in The Program, that the moment we catch a glimpse of God’s will — the moment we begin to see truth, justice and love as the real and eternal things in life — we’re no longer so deeply upset by all the seeming evidence to the contrary surrounding us in purely human affairs. Do I believe that God lovingly watches over me? Today I Pray May I be grateful for the comfort and peace of belonging — to God the ultimately wise “parent” and to His family on earth. May I no longer need bumper stickers or boisterous gangs to give me my identity. Through prayer, I am God’s. Today I Will Remember I find my identity through prayer. ******************************************* One More Day August 29 Lord, teach us to number our days, that we may apply our hearts unto wisdom. – Psalm 90 Funny, but when we were kids we probably didn’t give much thought to worlds such as peace or harmony. We just lived our sweet childish lives with little, if any, worry about feelings. Now we speak often of “meeting of the minds,” “harmonious thoughts,” and “world peace,” for we all want to achieve as high a level as personal and emotional comfort as we are able. With our newly developed understanding of wisdom comes a deepened sense of pride because we know that each day is a precious entity, special in and of itself. The harmony and peace that surround me are mine for the taking. ************************************************** ****************** Food For Thought Love God and Work the Program How clear everything becomes when we put abstaining and recovering from compulsive eating first in our lives! As we recover, we grow in love for the Higher Power, which makes possible our new life. Loving God and working the program becomes our main purpose every day. From this, all else follows. When we are confused and harried by conflicting demands on our time and attention, we need to withdraw for a moment and get back in touch with the God within. As long as we are sincerely trying to do His will, we do not have to be upset by negative responses from other people, whether their disapproval is real or imagined. As our Higher Power provides a focus for our love, working the program provides a focus for our energies and ambitions. Whatever our situation, we are each capable of growing along spiritual lines, and it is this growth and progress which gives us deep, lasting satisfaction. Accept my love and work. |
August 30
You are reading from the book Today's Gift. If I cry tears let them wash away your fears--make a rainbow of love for you. --Thom Klika It takes both sun and rain to make a rainbow in the sky. The rainbow is a rare and beautiful thing--each color brilliant beside the other. Rain falls to earth like the tears we all shed sometimes. Sunlight shines like the happiness we find inside when we feel peaceful. The colors of the rainbow are like all the different feelings we have. Let's say red is anger and green is fear and orange is joy and violet is contentment. All these feelings create a whole person, in the same way that all these colors make the whole rainbow. We become more colorful people as we learn to express all our emotions. A person who is learning to share feelings radiates the same kind of beauty as a rainbow in the sky. Who can I share a feeling with today? You are reading from the book Touchstones. Procrastination is the thief of time. --Edward Young When we have a problem with putting things off, we seem to add to our troubles by mentally flogging ourselves. We know we are losing time. We criticize ourselves for our irrational behavior. Whether we are putting off an important task in our lives or letting many little undone jobs accumulate, we could benefit from stopping the self-criticism and asking ourselves for the spiritual message in our actions. Perhaps we need some quiet time to do absolutely nothing. Maybe our perfectionism is paralyzing us. Is an "all or nothing" attitude telling us if we can't do the whole job right away, there is no point in beginning? Unexpressed anger may be blocking us from doing what we need to do. Whenever we find ourselves doing things that seem irrational we can ask, "What is the message from my Higher Power in this behavior?" This question will carry us much further toward spiritual growth than the mental criticism we are tempted to do. Today, I will do what I can within the limits of one day, and I will stay in communication with my Higher Power. You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning. I like my friend for what is in her heart, not for the way she does things. --Sandra K. Lamberson We find good in situations, experiences and people when we look for it. Generally we find just what we expect to find. The power attaching to our attitudes is awesome. Often it is immobilizing; too seldom is it positive. We each create the personal environment that our soul calls home, which means that at any moment we have the power to change our perspective on life, our response to any particular experience and most of all, our feelings about ourselves. Just as we will find good in others when we decide to look for it, we'll find good in ourselves. We are such special women, all of us. And in our hearts we want joy. What the program offers is the awareness that we are the creators of the joy in our hearts. We can relinquish the past and its sorrows, and we can leave the future in the hands of our higher power. The present is singular in its importance to our lives, now. Behavior generally reveals attitudes, which are of the mind and frequently in conflict with the heart. I will strive for congruence. I will let my heart lead the way. It will not only find the good in others, it will imitate it. You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go. Accepting Our Best We don't have to do it any better than we can - ever. Do our best for the moment, and then let it go. If we have to redo it, we can do our best in another moment, later. We can never do more or better than we are able to do at the moment. We punish ourselves and make ourselves feel crazy by expecting more than our reasonable best for now. Striving for excellence is a positive quality. Striving for perfection is self-defeating. Did someone tell us or expect us to do or give or be more? Did someone always withhold approval? There comes a time when we feel we have done our best. When that time comes, let it go. There are days when our best is less than we hoped for. Let those times go too. Start over tomorrow. Work things through, until our best becomes better. Empowering and complimenting ourselves will not make us lazy. It will nurture us and enable us to give, do, and be our best. Today, I will do my best, and then let it go. God, help me stop criticizing myself so I can start appreciating how far I've come. It feels so good to be alive and be a part of this universe. No matter where I am in my life today, to matter what it is that I am doing, I know that I am growing richer and richer with love and with life. --Ruth Fishel ***** Journey to the Heart What Would Feel Good to You? What do you want? What would feel good to you? Ask yourself that question often as you go through your day, as you live your life. When you don't know what to do next, when you're not sure how to find the path that's right for you, ask yourself what you want and what would feel good. That's how you'll discover what's right for you. What energizes you? Which friends feel good to be around? What work excites you, infuses you with passion? Which hobbies interest you? How do you want to spend your time? We have endured have to long enough. We have pushed ourselves through should too many times. There is a better and different way. Learn to recognize what lifts your spirits. Become conscious of not only what you need, but also what you want and like, what feels right to you. At first, doing what you want and what feels good to you may be uncomfortable, especially if you've spent much of your life doing what doesn't feel good to you. Learn to be comfortable with the new energy. Learn to become comfortable choosing what energizes you. By following your heart, by following your passion, you will find your path and you will find joy. The possibilities for joy are limitles if we can do what feels good to us-- in work, in life, in love, in play. Learn to become comfortable with joy. You have the power to create joy by choosing what feels good to you. The time for joy isn't later. The time for joy is now. ***** more language of letting go Turn your day around I got up and checked the calendar. The car had to go in for servicing. I hated driving it in, getting someone to follow me, then standing in line at the service garage. Besides, I was busy. My friend followed me to the garage, and I climbed into his car. Geez, it was hot. I wished I was at home, in the air-conditioned lodge. "Want to go out to eat breakfast?" I asked. "Not really," he said. "But the window washers will be at the house. We might as well wait until they leave. Even if we go home now, I won't be able to write." "You're right. Where do you want to eat?" "Do you have any cash on you?" I asked. He didn't. "Well then, we can't go to our favorite restaurants. They don't take checks or credit cards." We chose a restaurant neither of us liked. His waffle was pasty. I could taste the grit in my soggy pancakes from the premade mix that hadn't been stirred. The syrup was imitation maple flavoring. The grapefruit juice was weak. I pushed my food around the plate, then stopped eating. My stomach already hurt. We went to the cashier to pay for our food. We waited and waited while he did some other work, ignoring the fact that we were the only ones waiting in line. Finally, he turned to us and smiled. "Good news," he said. "You've won a prize." "What is it?" I asked. "A free sundae. You'll get it when you come back to eat here next time." I started to tell him to give my surprise to the next child who came in, when he turned to me scowling. "Ma'am, we have a problem," he said. "Your credit card was denied." "That's impossible," I said. "I pay my bill in full each month. Try again." He did. The card still didn't go through. My stomach really hurt by the time we got home. The bank had screwed up. The automatic payment to my credit card company had mysteriously been sent someplace else. By the time that problem got solved, it was time to go pick up my car. There was a long line ahead of me at the service garage. It had been 104 degrees in the car. I was almost passing out. And everyone ahead of me was ordering tires. I sat down on the bench to relax. Finally, my turn. "Here's your keys," the man said. "Just a monute." He turned and asked the mechanic. "Did you check the brakes?" He said, "I forgot." "Sorry," the man said. "It'll just be another half hour." An hour later, on the way home, I stopped at the bank. I really needed some cash. The regular line was long, winding its way from the tellers to the door. The business line was long, too, but not as bad. I took my place. Fifteen minutes later, it was my turn. "This line is for people who have a business account," the woman snapped. "I do," I whispered. "Look at the check.' Much later that evening, when I finally started to write and my stomach began settling down from the pancake mix, a vision popped into my head. "What about two eggs, cooked in real butter, with mushrooms, a ground beef patty, and some toast?" A few minutes later, he disappeared out the door. "Going to the store," he hollered. "Be right back." We sat at the counter at 10:30 that night. The eggs were perfect. The mushrooms were stuffed with cream cheese. The toast was soft from butter. And the hamburger patties were done perfectly and smothered in A-1 sauce. A peace settled in. I felt grateful and blessed. I remembered a conversation I had heard a long time ago. "Oh, I see it's going to be one of those days," a woman had snapped to her boss. "Not unless you make it that way," he said. Stuff happens. But no matter what time it is, it's never too late to say thanks, and have a good day. God, help me know that between you and me, we have the power to eventually turn any day around. ***** The Effect of Not Doing When We Don’t Take Action by Madisyn Taylor Our actions shape our lives, but what we don't take action on can be just as powerful. Life is sculpted on a moment-to-moment basis. Every one of the thoughts we think, the words we speak, and the actions we take contributes to the complex quality and character of the universe’s unfolding. It simply is not possible to be alive without making an impact on the world that surrounds us. Every action taken affects the whole as greatly as every action not taken. And when it comes to making the world a better place, what we choose not to do can be just as important as what we choose to do. For example, when we neglect to recycle, speak up, vote, or help somebody in immediate need, we are denying ourselves the opportunity to be an agent for positive change. Instead, we are enabling a particular course to continue unchallenged, picking up speed even as it goes along. By holding the belief that our actions don’t make much of a difference, we may find that we often tend to forego opportunities for involvement. Alternatively, if we see ourselves as important participants in an ever-evolving world, we may feel more inspired to contribute our unique perspective and gifts to a situation. It is wise to be somewhat selective about how and where we are using our energy in order to keep ourselves from becoming scattered. Not every cause or action is appropriate for every person. When a situation catches our attention, however, and speaks to our heart, it is important that we honor our impulse to help and take the action that feels right for us. It may be offering a kind word to a friend, giving resources to people in need, or just taking responsibility for our own behavior. By doing what we can, when we can, we add positive energy to our world. And sometimes, it may be our one contribution that makes all the difference. Published with permission from Daily OM ******************************************* A Day At A Time August 30 Reflection For The Day I’ll begin today with prayer — prayer in my heart, prayer in my mind, and words of prayer on my lips. Through prayer, I’ll stay tuned to God today, reaching forward to become that to which I aspire. Prayer will redirect my mind, helping me rise in consciousness to the point where I realize that there’s no separation between God and me. As I let the power of God flow through me, all limitations will fall away. Do I know that nothing can overcome the power of God? Today I Pray Today may I offer to my Higher Power a constant prayer, not just a “once-in-the-morning-does-it” kind. May I think of my Higher Power at coffee breaks, lunch, tea time, during a quiet evening — and at all times in between. May my consciousness expand and erase the lines of separation, so that the Power is a part of me and I am a part of the Power. Today I Will Remember To live an all-day Prayer. ******************************************* One More Day August 30 The basic fact of today is the tremendous pace of change in human life. – Jawaharial Nehru Just when we convince ourselves that we are settled, something happens that causes us to change once again. We need to be chameleons, open to change and willing to adapt. It’s not a simple process, for sometimes life throws us zingers we never expected. Not all change is positive, and it can be downright hard. Perhaps we may become grandparents quite unexpectedly, or we may need to more to a different city. We can lose a spouse or a job or our health. All these situations cause further change. Rising to the occasion teaches us that we are, finally, truly adult in our behavior. I let go of old dreams each time I change. I am proud of my ability to adapt to new circumstances. ************************************************** ***************** Food for Thought. Getting Honest with Ourselves The day we realize that we are and always will be compulsive overeaters and that we can permit ourselves no deviousness when it comes to food - that is the day when we begin to take the OA program seriously. Half measures do not work. Lingering exceptions in the back of our minds will defeat us. Beginning the program with the idea of quitting when we have lost a certain number of pounds will not bring success. Nothing short of an honest, wholehearted commitment to abstinence and the OA program will give us the ability to stop eating compulsively. If we think we can get away with small deviations here and there, we are deluding ourselves. Our disease is progressive, and unless we take the steps outlined in the program, it will eventually destroy us. If we are not honest with ourselves, we are divided, weak, and sick. Getting honest means getting strong and well. May I be directed by the truth. |
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