Today's Thought - June
 

June 1

Control

Many of us have been trying to keep the whole world in orbit with sheer and forceful application of mental energy.

What happens if we let go, if we stop trying to keep the world orbiting and just let it whirl? It’ll keep right on whirling. It’ll stay right on track with no help from us. And we’ll be free and relaxed enough to enjoy our place on it.

Control is an illusion, especially the kind of control we’ve been trying to exert. In fact, controlling gives other people, events, and diseases, such as alcoholism, control over us. Whatever we try to control does have control over us and our life.

I have given this control to many things and people in my life. I have never gotten the results I wanted from controlling or trying to control people. What I received for my efforts is an unmanageable life, whether that unmanageability was inside me or in external events.

In recovery, we make a trade-off. We trade a life that we have tried to control, and we receive in return something better—a life that is manageable.

Today, I will exchange a controlled life for one that is manageable.

Today's reading is from the book The Language of Letting Go, Daily Meditations on Codependency

June 2

Real joy comes not from ease or riches or from the praise of men, but from doing something worthwhile.

~W. T. Grenfell

Joy, like happiness and freedom, is a major prize of recovery. And like these other two conditions, joy eludes those who seek it directly. It is a result of, and dependent on, something else.

Joy is a secondary effect of a primary action. When we create an environment that supports and encourages someone else, we find joy in the doing. There may be no more valuable human enterprise than lightening someone else’s load, leading someone who’s lost to the safe road, or extending a hand to someone who has fallen.

Such opportunities present themselves daily to recovering people. At every meeting, we’re in touch with people who greatly need the counsel, wisdom, and example of those who have made a decision about the past, have left behind what was, and are creating sweet new days as they walk the path of recovery.

If we hope to know joy, we must share what we have.

Today, I will pass along the kindness that has been shown me.

Today's reading is from the book Days of Healing, Days of Joy, Daily Meditations for Adult Children

June 3

Conceit spoils the greatest genius…and the great charm of power is modesty.

~Louisa May Alcott

Addiction does bad things to our egos. We see ourselves as very different from others. Either we think we are better, with puffed-up egos, or we think we are worse than others, feeling sorry for ourselves. Either way, the rules don’t apply to us, of course, because we are special. The Big Book says that the early members of AA realized that they were pretty self?centered, and that was a big part of the problem for them. It’s a big part of the problem for most of us in recovery today, too. It seems to go with addiction.

We must get real about who we are and what we have to offer others. We need to accept that life doesn’t revolve around us. Rather we are here to work with others, with our talents, and with love to make life better and more meaningful for all of us. That is how we make a real difference in this world.
Prayer for the Day

Higher Power, please help me learn more about my talents, my strengths, and my purpose for being here. What part of your work would you like me to do today?
Today's Action

Today I will learn about my gifts. I will ask four people who know me in different parts of my life this question: “What positive thing do I bring when I join a group of people?”

Today's reading is from the book God Grant Me, More Daily Meditations from the Authors of Keep It Simple

June 4

If they try to rush me, I always say, “I’ve only got one other speed—and it’s slower.”

~Glenn Ford

We tend to feel ourselves under pressure to perform, to produce, to excel. But pressure makes us feel rushed, and we become careless with ourselves and with others. We miss seeing and enjoying the small, simple things in life. We get things and people out of focus.

Pressure can come from inside, too—from our shame and sense of unworthiness. Then we find it difficult to look the world in the eye because of our secretive lives. We may feel we have to keep moving in order to prevent ourselves from assessing the true nature of our addiction and the harm it did to ourselves and others.

But now we know we can slow down and take each day, each hour, and minute as it comes. By slowing down, we learn to see the world more clearly and enjoy the company of others. We do have time to get to know ourselves and reach out to others. The reward is a deeper, quieter, lovelier life.

Time is not an enemy to be conquered, but part of the rhythm of life. Each day I try to slow down and live.

Today's reading is from the book Answers in the Heart, Daily Meditations for Men and Women Recovering from Sex Addiction

June 5

Listening

Before engaging your mouth, put your mind in gear.

~Anonymous

Our world is full of speechmakers who would serve better if they learned the importance of listening. The ability to hear is stressed within our group. It is true that we owe it to fellow members to tell the valuable lessons we learn while dealing with reality. But by listening, we can find truth from outside ourselves, too. Old-timers remind us to “take the cotton out of our ears and put it in our mouth.”

An old proverb says, “When the pupil is ready, the teacher will appear.” Another tells us, “Find a teacher and you find a friend.” When we learn to be attentive, we continue to be students long after our school years are over. Even when we read, we can listen well to truths.

One gift of being a good listener is to hear unexpectedly some truth I may have been told but was not ready to hear.

Today's reading is from the book Easy Does It, A Book of Daily Twelve Step Meditations

June 6

True denial is a powerful protective device.

~A Course in Miracles

Denial has gotten a bad reputation in recovery circles. One of the greatest obstacles to recovery from addiction is denial. Who would seek help for an illness that doesn’t exist? Many of us resisted help, suffered needlessly, and caused others to suffer while we went on denying that anything was wrong.

But sometimes denial can be a good thing, especially when it comes to fear. When we are afraid of anything, we are saying it has the power to hurt us. We give fear power by believing in it. But if God is for us, who can truly hurt us? Our fears are of our own making. When we deny the ability of any ungodly thought to bring us down, we are using denial properly.

My fears can hurt me only with my permission.

Today's reading is from the book In God's Care, Daily Meditations on Spirituality in Recovery

June 7

One receives only that which is given. The game of life is a game of boomerangs. Our thoughts, deeds and words, return to us sooner or later, with astounding accuracy.

~Florence Scovel Shin

Each of us can attest to the truth or this passage. During the difficult times, however, it is not uppermost in our minds that "what goes around, comes around." It feels all too easy to be justifiably resentful or to gossip or to ignore another's presence. And the repercussions are seldom immediate. They will come, though.

Goodness is likewise repaid. Giving love, attention, and respect to the individuals who share our lives and to the people who cross our paths by chance will smooth our own passage day by day. The effects of our goodness will often be felt quickly. A smile elicits a smile. Kind thoughts bless us as well as the receiver. Life events do come full circle.

With a bit of effort, I can smile at someone today, even though I'm frowning inside. Both will be better for it.

Today's reading is from the book Each Day a New Beginning, Daily meditations for Women

June 8

Discipline is remembering what you want.

~David Campbell

Not everyone chooses recovery easily. We were attached to our addictions and codependency, even if we didn’t want their consequences. They were not only our masters; we were also loyal to them. They gave us comfort, pleasure, and a high that nothing else could match. So where did we find motivation to change?

Somewhere within our souls we longed for something of greater quality. We didn’t want to sacrifice our future for the fleeting pleasures or false escapes. We saw that our actions were ruining our own lives and the lives of our loved ones. We always thought we would change someday, and even while our lives were careening out of control, we promised ourselves to change tomorrow or sometime in the future. It was our greater vision, our longing for a better life, that led us to try the Twelve Step recovery program. Out of wanting something better we found the motivation to enter recovery.

Today, I know that deep in my soul lies a desire to be a good man.

Today's reading is from the book Stepping Stones, More Daily Meditations for Men

June 9

AA Thought for the Day

It’s been proved that we alcoholics can’t get sober by our willpower. We’ve failed again and again. Therefore, I believe there must be a Higher Power which helps me. I think of that power as the grace of God. And I pray to God every morning for the strength to stay sober today. I know that power is there because it never fails to help me. Do I believe that AA works through the grace of God?
Meditation for the Day

Once I am “born of the spirit,” that is my life’s breath. Within me is the life of life, so that I can never perish. The life that down the ages has kept God’s children through peril, adversity, and sorrow. I must try never to doubt or worry, but follow where the life of the spirit leads. How often, when little I know it, God goes before me to prepare the way, to soften a heart, or to overrule a resentment. As the life of the spirit grows, natural wants become less important.
Prayer for the Day

I pray that my life may become centered in God more than in self. I pray that my will may be directed toward doing His will.

Today's reading is from the book Twenty-Four Hours a Day, A Spiritual Resource with Practical Applications for Daily Life

June 10

My life has been a tapestry of rich and royal hue,
An everlasting vision of the everchanging view,
A wondrous woven magic in bits of blue and gold,
A tapestry to feel and see, impossible to hold.

~Carole King

Our lives are patchwork quilts of mismatched fabrics, all stitched together by an invisible seamstress. The tattered, blood-red scraps of quarrels, the beige of pastry crust baked on Saturdays in a grandmother's kitchen that always smelled sweet, the brilliant colors of our happy moments-picnics and sunsets and laughter-all these are necessary pieces of the tapestry of our lives, even our cold, white doubts and emptiness.

All the colors of life sewn together with the green thread of growth. We are a mixture of feelings and experiences. Often, we want to cut away a square of painful memory. But without it, our quilt would lose its beauty, for contrast would disappear. If a piece is removed, the rest is weakened and incomplete.

How well can I accept any pain I feel today as a part of my own beauty?

Today's reading is from the book Today's Gift, Daily Meditations for Families

JUne 11

If you’re not making mistakes, then you’re not doing anything.

~John Wooden

Everyone makes mistakes. We all know that. So why is it so hard to admit our own? We seem to think we have to be perfect. We have a hard time looking at our mistakes. But our mistakes can be very good teachers.

Our Twelve Step program helps us learn and grow from our mistakes. In Step Four, half of our work is to think of our mistakes. In Step Five, we admit our mistakes to our Higher Power, ourselves, and another person. We learn, we grow, and we become whole. All by coming to know our mistakes. The gift of recovery is not being free of mistakes. Instead, we do the Steps to claim our mistakes and talk about them. We find the gift of recovery when we learn from our mistakes.
Prayer for the Day

Higher Power, help me to see my mistakes as chances to get to know myself better.
Action for the Day

Today I’ll talk to a friend about what my mistakes taught me. Today I’ll feel less shame.

Today's reading is from the book Keep it Simple, Daily Meditations for Twelve Step Beginnings and Renewal

June 12

If you do not express your own original ideas, if you do not listen to your own being, you will have betrayed yourself.

~Rollo May

Those of us who go around trying to be right and do everything right are likely to betray ourselves. We stifle our impulses and control our intuition because we can’t be certain that we are correct. As a spiritual exercise, we could stop now and listen to our inner selves and state our own ideas. What comes out may break the illusion of perfection and free us to proceed with life.

We all have original ideas if we just notice them. What images come to mind while we listen to music? What do our dreams tell us? New insights sometimes come during physical activity. A conversation with a friend can help lead us to our wisdom. Our growing strength as recovering men requires that we listen to our own messages and then take some risks to express them.

Today, I will take risks by stating my ideas. I will stand up for myself by listening to my intuition.

Today's reading is from the book Touchstones, A Book of Daily Meditations for Men

June 13

Acknowledging addiction’s power

We talk about mood-altering substances as cunning, baffling, and powerful. And it’s true—there are many subtle, sly ways in which we set ourselves up to use again. For example, if we preferred one drug, we might try to convince ourselves that it was okay to use a different one. Or we might say, “Well, I just didn’t know it was so dangerous.” Some of us just keep hanging around our using “friends.”

We may use much tricky, deceitful reasoning with ourselves to go back to using, even though we know these behaviors are dangerous. Even though we know that by setting ourselves up time and again, we will only succeed in destroying our program.

Have I stopped setting myself up?

Higher Power, look out for me when I’m not capable of doing so.

Today I will remind myself of addiction’s power by…

Today's reading is from the book Day by Day, Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts

June 14

Reflection for the Day

Many of us in recovery share the memory that we originally drank or used other substances to “belong,” to “fit in,” or to “be a part of the crowd.” Others of us fueled our addictions to “get in”—to feel, at least for a short time, that we fitted in with the rest of the human race.

Sometimes, the substances had the desired effect, temporarily assuaging our feelings of apartness. But when the effects of the substances wore off, we were left feeling more alone, more left out, more “different” than ever. Do I still sometimes feel that “my case is different”?
Today I Pray

Higher Power, may I get over my feeling of being “different” or in some way unique, of not belonging. Perhaps it was this feeling that led me to my substance use in the first place. It also kept me from seeing the seriousness of my addiction, since I thought “I am different. I can handle it.” May I now be aware that I do belong, to a vast fellowship of people like me. With every shared experience, my “uniqueness” is disappearing.
Today I Will Remember

I am not unique.

Today's reading is from the book A Day at a Time, Daily Reflections for Recovering People

June 15

Thinking clearly, sanely, is one of the rewards from working these Twelve Steps.

Reflecting on how we behaved during our most trying times with the alcoholic in our lives helps us see how much we have grown. We frequently acted vengefully and even more often resentfully. And we felt justified. After all, we had told the alcoholic to stop!

How much we have learned since then. We have come to accept alcoholism as a disease, and we realize that we are affected by the other person’s illness too. Using these Twelve Steps has made it possible for us to behave more lovingly, certainly more sanely, than before. We can check out our thinking and our plans for action with others before doing anything, often saving ourselves from unnecessary conflict.

We can be fairly certain that the excessive turmoil of earlier periods is over. Working our own program, letting the others in our lives work theirs, assures us of that. What a wonderful gift clear thinking is.

I will share my gratitude for my sanity with someone else today. Perhaps my sharing will inspire that person to seek a better life too.

Today's reading is from the book A Life of My Own, Meditations on Hope and Acceptance