January 16

Seeing the beauty

We can see our Higher Power in so many beautiful things in this world: the reflection of light in the running brook, the spectrum of colors in the oil spot on the street, the stubbly grass peeking out of the snow like morning whiskers, hail popping like kernels of corn, the music of rain, the face of a child, the face of an elder.

Some of us see our Higher Power most clearly in the light of another's eyes or in acts of unselfish kindness and know ourselves to be part of it. With clean, sober eyes we can see this beauty.

Can I see the beauty all around me?

Higher Power, help me to see the beauty all around me today and to realize that I, too, am beautiful in your eyes.

You are reading from the book:

Day by Day - Second Edition by Anonymous

January 17

One could say that I had a happy childhood, although I showed little talent for being happy.
-- Samuel Beckett

Our choices in relationships, careers, lifestyle, and expression of feelings and talents are often the result of our upbringing. Has the social climate changed significantly since our childhood? Have our family systems changed? Can we find ways to change old, ineffective behaviors?

Recovery offers us the gifts of responsibility and self-forgiveness. Now, as we begin to change, we can let go of the past and its pain. Our ability to change often starts by embracing our inner selves with forgiving, adult arms. In this act, we take responsibility for our own happiness, nurturing ourselves toward the new life we are finding in recovery.

We are earning our own love in a whole new way. We respect and honor our physical selves with rest, exercise, and nutritional food. We stimulate our minds with new ideas and experiences. And we send our spirits soaring through conscious contact with our Higher Power. We feel worthy of love, and even have enough to give some away. Now we are learning the talent for being happy.

Today grant me the power of self-forgiveness and the gift of hope.

You are reading from the book:

Body, Mind, and Spirit by Anonymous

January 18

Sometimes it seems I've spent my life trying to live up to others' expectations of me, and failing. I never thought much about pleasing myself. That would have been "selfish."
--JoAnn Reed

We can feel burdened, inadequate, and overwhelmed by expectations, even when they are our own. More often, however, the problem originates from outside ourselves. Before we got into the program, we may have been easily caught in the trap of other people's expectations because we didn't know who we really were. Now that we are in recovery, the Fourth Step offers us an opportunity to understand ourselves better, which in turn helps us to set out own goals. No longer must someone else's goals guilt us into action.

Getting to know real freedom from the expectations of others is a two-step process. First we need to see clearly which expectations are ours and which belong to someone else. Then we need to turn to our Higher Power for help in fulfilling our own expectations, and only our own.

Before taking any action today I will pause to make certain I am fulfilling my expectations not someone else's. God will help me with this task.

You are reading from the book:

A Woman's Spirit by Karen Casey

January 19

He that plants trees loves others besides himself.
--Thomas Fuller

Trees take many years to become beautiful. They start out small and scrawny, and they need attention and care. Planting them is a lot of work for very little payback in the short-term. But over time, trees become big, beautiful, and useful.

When we plant trees, we are doing it for the people who will come after us. We care that this place will be beautiful for them.

To help them make decisions, some Native American tribes ask, "What will be the effect of this decision on the children to come after us seven generations from now?"

Seeing ourselves as part of life is truly a gift. We can feel the connections with those before us and those yet to be born. Let's do it with love.

Prayer for the Day

Higher Power, help me feel connected to all of life today, and help me to act lovingly with care for the past and the future.

Today's Action

What can I do today that will live on into tomorrow? Plant a flower or a tree? Teach a child something new? Send a card to a friend? Today I will do one thing.

You are reading from the book:

God Grant Me... by Anonymous

January 20

Having realistic expectations.

Sometimes we expect much too much of people and things. We will never be happy if we expect our doctor to work instant cures or if we blame our teacher for what we failed to learn. We need to examine what's realistic to expect of others and what we are responsible for ourselves. It's the same with the program: We cannot judge its effectiveness by whether we are happy all the time.

The program will be perfect only when we are perfect. We must let go of our childish all-or-nothing attitude and become more realistic. After all, when were we ever happy all the time?

Do I expect too much?

Higher Power, when I am unhappy with the program, help me be honest with myself about where the problem lies.

You are reading from the book:

Day by Day - Second Edition by Anonymous

January 21

Sweet Surrender

So we're ready to take on the world, at least to take the next step. That's when it hits. Or rather we hit it.

The wall.

Suddenly the path that looked so clear, so easy, so laid out in front of us disappears. Just a little glitch, we think. We take another run at it.


It's still there.

Must be me, we think. I'll try a little harder. Get this problem under control. We may mumble a few words to a Higher Power, something about needing help, but essentially we're praying for enough steam to ram into and run through that wall, sometimes chanting the mantra My will be done all the way.

I wish I could tell you there is a way to avoid this wall-banging, head-bumping vortex of chaos, but if there is, I haven't found it.

It's a dirty dust devil of self-will.

Hearing that we're powerless over people, places, and things (such as alcohol and other drugs) and intellectually understanding that concept is one thing. Experiencing powerlessness is another.

I didn't surrender to my powerlessness over alcohol and drugs because I wanted to. I surrendered because I had to, because I was worn out, because I couldn't keep going anymore. I went down hard.

One morning, a friend called to see whether I had solved a problem I was struggling with. "Yup," I said. "I told God last night that whatever happened was okay with me." I was willing to do whatever God wanted. And I meant it.

"Oh that," she said gently. "Sweet surrender."

"Yeah," I said. "It's sweet . . . now."

Surrender. The place that those of us on a spiritual path call home.

You are reading from the book:

52 Weeks of Conscious Contact by Melody Beattie

January 22

Reflection for the Day

None of us can claim to know God in all God's fullness. None of us can really claim to understand our Higher Power to any extent. But this I do know: there is Power beyond my human will which can do wonderful, loving things for me that I can't do for myself. I see this glorious power at work in my own being, and I see the miraculous results of this same power in the lives of thousands upon thousands of other recovering people who are my friends in the Program. Do I need the grace of God and the loving understanding any less now than when I began my recovery?

Today I Pray

May I never forget that my spiritual needs are as great today as they were when I came into the Program. It is so easy to look at others, newer to the recovery process, and regard them as the needy ones. As I think of myself as increasingly independent, may I never overlook my dependence on my Higher Power.

Today I Will Remember

I will never outgrow my need for God.

You are reading from the book:

A Day at a Time (Softcover) by Anonymous

January 23

Attitude is everything!

Today will be what we make it. Regardless of the weather, the kinds of work to be done, the personalities crossing our paths, we'll feel joy and peace if that is our choice.

Agonizing over circumstances that aren't to our liking or dwelling on our failure to control other people, whether friends or foes, has robbed us of the happiness that is always ours to experience. Depression, anger, fear, and frustration shadowed our steps because we didn't take control of the only thing that's ever been in our control absolutely - attitude.

It's so easy to blame others for every wrinkle in our lives. But as we grow accustomed to the idea of taking full responsibility for how we think and feel, we'll be empowered. No longer will our sense of self feel diminished. And, as Abraham Lincoln is credited with saying, we will be just as happy as we make up our minds to be.

Nobody can mess with my attitude but me!

You are reading from the book:

A Life of My Own by Karen Casey

January 24

Happiness consists of a solid faith, good health, and a bad memory.
--Clare Boothe Luce

Resentments are guaranteed to hinder our growth. We can never know full happiness when resentment clouds our vision. Why is it so hard for us to "forget" the small injuries of life? We have never been promised freedom from pain. Many of the lessons we are destined to learn will scuff our egos. But we will know happiness, completely, if we free our minds of resentments.

The formula for happiness is simple. We don't need material wealth, a perfect job, or an exceptional relationship. In fact, it's possible to know happiness with no job, very little money, and no significant other. Happiness is a by-product of a healthy attitude. And a healthy attitude is one that takes the normal turmoil of life and mixes it with a belief in God's presence. The result is an acceptance of God's will and a certainty that, in spite of appearances, all is well.

I am in charge of my attitude today. Happiness is a choice I can make regardless of what the people around me are doing.

You are reading from the book:

A Woman's Spirit by Karen Casey

January 25

Draw from others the lesson that may profit yourself.
--Terence

Our Twelve Step program offers us the best education in the world, free of charge. Everybody in recovery has something to teach us, if we'll listen. Each of us has a unique set of experiences and background, problems and solutions to share. From each other we can learn about recovery and about the world, too. We can hear what it's like to live on the streets, even if we didn't lose everything to addiction. We can learn how others got their families involved in a Twelve Step program of their own. We can learn about the problems we may encounter at work, how to avoid them, and how to solve them. We can hear from someone who has been there, rather than through relapse, how it feels to be addicted to another substance.

The experience of others gives us a rare chance to broaden our horizons. We can learn how it feels to be a member of a minority, how to love ourselves enough to combat hatred, how to triumph from adversity. Most important, by listening to others with respect and love, we can learn to truly value other people, even those who are different from us.

Today help me appreciate the teachings of my Twelve Step program. Help me continue to learn.

You are reading from the book:

Body, Mind, and Spirit by Anonymous

January 26

If you want to be found, stand where the seeker seeks.
--Sidney Lanier

When does a good program turn into a bad program? When it becomes a hiding place. As adult children, we are good – no, ingenious – at finding hiding places.

Sometimes we hide behind our work by staying super busy. We hide in prayer itself – behind sweet-sounding words. We can choose to always be tired so we can hide in sleep. We can hide behind any of the "helper" roles by fixing others so we never have to fix ourselves. We can even make our program a hiding place by going through the motions, saying all the right things, but never really encountering ourselves.

If we want to be found, we have to come out where somebody can find us.

I will identify my hiding places and make conscious decisions about choosing them or not.

You are reading from the book:

Days of Healing, Days of Joy by Earnie Larsen and Carol Larsen Hegarty

January 27

We can act ourselves into right thinking easier than we can think ourselves into right acting.
--Anonymous

The best thing for us to do in our 12 Step Program is to be honest in how we act and think. We must be true to that belief.

We can't think for others, and they can't think for us. Friends can tell us the lessons they have learned from their experiences. If those lessons fit us, we can use them to help guide us and our thinking. We often hear, "Take what you need and leave the rest."

As good for us as our ideas are, we must not force them on others. We can only offer them. And we won't be true to ourselves if we are jealous of other people's ideas. We never know what we can do until we try, and we can't be sure what ideas are best for us until we test them.

Am I dedicated to the beliefs that are best for me in my recovery?

You are reading from the book:

Easy Does It by Anonymous

January 28

Later is now.
--Roseanne Barr

Newcomer

I guess I do have some addiction problems, but right now is a terrible time for me. I know you'd like me to be more involved, use the program more, but I need time - there's something else I have to deal with first. I've tried talking about it at meetings, but no one really has much understanding of my particular problem.

Sponsor

I do respect the fact that there are pressing problems in your life and that you are going to have to face them. Addiction is, in one sense, a response to underlying issues we all have to deal with. And in addition to our inner problems, many of us enter recovery in the midst of some crisis - serious illness, separation, overdue taxes, even homelessness - are situations some of us have had to face while newly recovering. I agree that your problems are real ones. But putting off recovery is not likely to help you with them. It may make things worse.

While I may not be able to help with the specifics of your situation, I can be here to share my experience, strength, and hope as a person in recovery. Recovery is the foundation of my life today. I make it my highest priority, and as time goes on I find the help and strength I need to resolve everything else I have to deal with. If you, too, have the willingness to face your addiction and show up for your recovery, I'm willing to be here.

Today, I will let go of all obstacles to recovery.

You are reading from the book:

If You Want What We Have by Joan Larkin

January 29

Recovering takes practice.

No one learns how to play golf in a day, or masters a musical instrument in a week, or builds a relationship in a month. Neither does recovery happen overnight.

If we're ready and lucky, we may immediately take the direct path of abstinence and stay on it without making any detours. When that occurs, it's wonderful, but it's just a beginning. Recovering is more than abstaining. . . Recovering is a new way of life that involves our entire being.

It involves how we think, feel, act, and believe. Before we're very far along the path, we realize we're learning a whole new way of orienting ourselves to the events of every day. It feels good, and the more we practice, the more complete our recovery.

I give thanks for another day to practice recovering.

You are reading from the book:

Inner Harvest by Elisabeth L.

January 30

An honest man's the noblest work of God.
--Alexander Pope

Step Five says, "Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs." When we did this Step, the person we admitted our wrongs to didn't run away or reject us. That person stuck with us. Chances are, we were told that we are quite human. And working Step Five helped us to see that we can change, now that we're sober.

The most important part of Step Five is the act of being totally honest about ourselves. Then we know that relationships - with our Higher Power, ourselves, and others - can be built. We have faced the truth. Now we know we never have to lie.

Prayer for the Day

Higher Power, I know no Fifth Step is perfect. Please help me be as honest as I can in doing my Fifth Step and at other times.

Action for the Day

If I've avoided doing a Fifth Step, I'll talk to my sponsor about it today.

You are reading from the book:

Keep It Simple by Anonymous