QUESTIONS???
Questions that aren't helpful
“We accept many notions because they seem to be the logical answers to our questions. But have we asked the right questions?” -- Harold L. Klawans Sometimes we ask questions for which we really don’t want the answer! Nonetheless, when we ask a question, our subconscious minds will get to work to answer us. Here are some examples of questions we want to avoid: - What’s wrong with me? - How long could this take? - What could go wrong? - How much trouble could it be? - How hard could it be? Asking questions can be empowering – as long as they’re smart questions! "The uncreative mind can spot wrong answers, but it takes a very creative mind to spot wrong questions." -- Anthony Jay How much of this is mine? "The collective energy generated from the feelings, thoughts, and attitudes of the almost six billion people on this planet creates an atmosphere or 'consciousness climate.' Surrounding us like the air we breathe, this consciousness climate affects us most strongly on energetic and emotional levels." -- Doc Childre and Howard Martin Feeling angry, sad or anxious? You might ask, “How much of this is mine?” Those of us who are sensitive sometimes pick up on emotional, mental or physical energy in the environment. It feels like ours – we really do feel the emotions or physical or mental symptoms. But really, we are processing ‘generic’ energies that belong to others or to humanity as a whole. Opening to the possibility that our experiences may not be completely ours helps us detach from them. When we don’t completely identify with our thoughts and feelings, we gain power over them. "If the doors of perception were cleansed, everything would appear … as it is, infinite.” -- William Blake Smart questions to keep handy “Quality questions create a quality life. Successful people ask better questions, and as a result, they get better answers.” -- Anthony Robbins Last time, we talked about questions to avoid. Today, let’s consider some that are truly empowering: - Is there a message for me in this experience? - What’s the gift in this situation? - What can I learn from this? - What’s the most loving thing I could do now? - What’s the most important thing for me to focus on now? - What would I do if I knew I could not fail? - What would I do if there were nothing to fear? “A prudent question is one-half of wisdom.” -- Francis Bacon Found this on one of my old MSN sites. I was reminded earlier about being asked, "What's the Answer?" I didn't know what the Question was and I didn't know what Question to ask. Step Three says to listen for the quiet. I had to get rid of all the chatter and inner dialogue. I had to stop looking for the quick fix and instant gratification and trust in the process. |
I think that all addictions (using something outside of ourselves to make us feel better and to take the focus off us) lead to the same soul sickness. Like so many addictions, the problem isn't the substance, it is generally me, my attitudes and old tapes, trauma from my past and the inability to face it and deal with it.
I qualify for just about any recovery room you want to put me in. Been there, wore the t-shirt. Because I am old, I was never around when they were passing around a lot of the drugs used in today. Probably a good therapist would help, it would be really help if you could find one who had an understanding of the 12 Steps and how they work. When you see a post here, just substitute your disease for the one posted. We used people, places and things to escape our reality. Doesn't matter how we did it, it is the intent and harm we do ourselves as a result of using that brings us to the doors of recovery. I personally used alcohol, prescription drugs, alcohol, work, food, gambling, and men. Shopping and shop lifting are just other forms of addiction. I didn't think I liked shopping. Then I got honest, I don't like shopping without any money. Know a little about where you come from as I go into our local jail and talk to men and women about recovery. For so many of them, it is the high, not on the drugs and alcohol, but in the stealing, not getting caught and what you got away with. The one time they land in jail doesn't matter, it is the times that they stole and got away with it that is the big draw and attraction. Several have shared that when they got out they would bo back and do the same thing again. It is the same with the drugs and alcohol, we don't remember the 'negative' times, we only remember the good times. This time it will be different. It never is, even though we may get away with it or survive, there is always the remorse, the guilt, shame and the aftermath to deal with. Sometimes it isn't glaringly apparent in the moment but often reveals itself later on or it affects the loved ones around us although we can't often see them much less be aware of how our behaviour affects them. I wish you well on your recovery journey. http://i667.photobucket.com/albums/v...Is5FYou5F0.jpg |
Remember being told that there were no stupid questions in AA. I didn't ask because I didn't want to appear 'stupid' and that word kept me sick, because I had been told I was stupid all my life. How can I know what I have never been taught? How can I know if I don't ask?
What was good for me was going to meetings and listening to people share around the discussion tables. I also went to 12 Step meetings, I might have been on Step One, but learning about the others, gave me a goal, and I could work them into my life to the best of my ability. When it came to working the Step when I got to it in order, I had a more open mind and a willingness to do the work. Just because I was sober and on Step One was no reason I should continue acting out in my disease. http://i667.photobucket.com/albums/v...yJo/hugs4u.jpg |
Do we question our self or do we blame others for who and where we are at in today.
Do we question God and wonder why He/She hasn't given us what I want and think I need. Do we question the program? Go to a fellowship that you feel comfortable in. If it worked for others, it can work for you. The program suggests we go to meetings, get a home group, get a sponsor, get active in our group, work the steps with our sponsor, clean house by getting honest, open my mind to new things, and willing to go to any length to stay sober. The people in the rooms are not the program, but they can support and guide you along the way. Don't question those who are trying. It is no failure in trying, there is no time table, no race to be run, no standards to meet, it is what we can do just for today. The failure is in the not trying. It is how we pick ourselves up and trying again. It is a program of practice, practice, practice. Don't question your God's Love. As they say in Al-Anon, "We hope you will come to love us, the same way we already love you." http://www.animated-gifs.eu/mammals-...-love/0014.gif |
http://d.yimg.com/kq/groups/15346217...46178/name/n_a As we travel the journey within, we make new discoveries, we find old reminders, and precious memories. Come join our journey to eliminate and let go of the negative, replace it with the positive, and reinforce and nuture the flame within each of us, so that we can walk in balance and acceptance of the Light and the Dark nature of ourselves. When we go within, we connect with our Inner Self. As we learn to trust that voice within, we are able to weave our own fate and trust the guardian within who directs us, gives us courage and strength, and helps us to make healthy choices. We find our inner knowing, our own truth and learn to walk our talk. |
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I had to surrender to win. I had to substitute the word control for powerlessness before I could understand the meaning of it. I thought I was in control, it was an illusion. Today, I turn it over to my Higher Power, when I surrendered, I was empowered to do what I needed to do for myself. =================== Recently, my son told me he was in control of his drug use. I can remember when I thought control was the solution. If I could control, people, place and things, everything would be just fine. Ego is "Easing God Out." I didn't allow God into my life and tended to discount Him. When I am trying to control, it is already out of control. I end up trying to be my own Higher Power. I use to get really upset when people didn't post on this site. Today, I am able to let go, and do what I need to do for my own recovery and sobriety (soundness of mind). |
Surrender doesn't mean to give up. It means give over. Surrender was part of the honesty I needed to find in Step One, admitting I didn't know, made a mistake, willing to open my mind to new ideas and concepts. Just because I had done things for numerous years, didn't mean they were right. I found even in recovery, things in early recovery had to be revised and edited. Many times it was my lack of willingness to let go, I wanted to hang onto those strings, making them conditional, hidden, and many times restoring to denial and lack olf willingness to let go.
My addiction was always wanting more, so in my recovery, I had to get honest, open my mind, and willing to change. More recovery, not more drugs, no more using other things to hide from what was truly happening in my life. My control in today come from my Through my God, all things are possible. The second half of the first Step, my life is unmanageable when managed by me. It is ironic, I never used to get 'high' or as what some people saw as 'high', although it could have been the fact that I was so depressed, it took a lot of using to get me up to where I got to a stage to really let go. I remember times when I was horrified because I saw myself losing control. There is no way I wanted to act or appear drunk, I just wanted the warm fuzzies, and it just took more and more to reach that feeling. The problem was, as my disease progressed, if I did find the feeling, I couldn't stop there, I still had to have more. It didn't matter what the drug was that brought me there or the drug that came along that I just had to have more. When one drug stopped working, I generally used it in a combo with something or someone else. https://encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com/i...AndPL8dGsSNXC0 |
Do you ever feel depressed?
Depression is a big part of grief. Whenever we have a change in our life which brings about change in our daily routine, our daily living structure, and our long-time habits, we grieve over what was, what might have been, and fear what is to come. Depression is part of grieving and something that I don't take a pill for. My depression isn't a chemical imbalance. Doctor's have tried to put me on anti-depressants for my fibromyalgia and all they did for me was put weight on and then I became more depressed. I have seen many girls put on them only to go back out to get thin. Either they were not honest with their doctor or their doctor doesn't understand the disease of addiction. Every time there is a change, a loss be it a job, a routine, a loved one, or a habit, we go through a grieving process. It isn't something to ignore and hide under a bushel. The program works on it when I apply the 12 Steps. The 12 Steps are applicable to all situations. http://www.animated-gifs.eu/mammals-elephants/0120.gif Depression gives me signs to me that I am heading down the old path and I need to turn things over to my Higher Power. i.e. no shower, not getting dressed...no leaving the house...only leaving the bed to eat or go potty. Bed was one of the things I used for years. I even went without TV for two years, because I was living and out and about, participating in life. When depression hit, I got it back and added extra bundles so I wouldn't miss anything. When I got my computer, I became addicted to it, not realizing that it was just another escape route. Here is a link to some quotes. The one I like the best is: “Depression is nourished by a lifetime of ungrieved and unforgiven hurts” by Penelope Sweet www.helpguide.org/mental/depression_women.htm https://encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com/i...yqES8hLSTGrHVQ |
Am I an alcoholic because I am an addict. Am I an addict because I am an alcoholic?
Doesn't matter, in either case, I have a disease. A dis-ease that prevented me to go within to connect with my Higher Power and kept looking outside of myself for some person, place or thing to make me feel better. The didn't satisfy the thirst, I kept wanting more. I had to fill up with Spiritual things. What do you do to top yourself up, so you have something to give instead of working on fumes. The 12 Steps are applicable to ALL areas of my life. Have you used them? Did you know that when you get to Step 12, you start again at Step One. Each step is a healing process that gives you new awareness and a new reality, and allows me to open up to new experiences. Did you know that the 12 Steps are a growth tool? https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/i...fP2wsczk7yJ1-w |
Did you know that this disease is cunning, baffling and powerful? Did you know that the body, mind, and spirit is affected, and we need to work on our emotional sobriety daily?
This is a one day at a time program, what do you to cleanse your body, mind and spirit, to open up to the goodness of God? Quote:
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Worry is fear that hasn't said it's prayers. Something I had to keep aware of and act accordingly. I have to find acceptance before I can take action to change. It is generally my attitude, my complacency, my lack of faith, and unwillingness to do anything in the moment, and I want to sit in my stuff a little while or I don't like what I foresee I have to do to change. My magic magnifying mind can blow things all out of proportion and I get overwhelmed, and instead of taking action, I allow fear to paralyze me. I had to let go of the paranoia, the old tapes and make new ones, old behaviours and habits which no longer serve me in today. |
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For many years I put aside what I needed or wanted to do for others. I lived my life through others and told myself I was happy because they were happy. I liked things because I was doing them with others and I wasn't alone, and yet it wasn't my true self.
My big love and passion is bridge. It makes me sad that I have had to cancel twice because of my health. It was nice when my partner picked up the phone and called me so that we made the connection. His grand passion is exercise and he was tired from doing too much and he was glad of the night home and the rest. He would have gone if I had been able but he was glad that I had made the decision to stay home. In today, I haven't been able to play for 3 years. I keep thinking of going back, but because of my medications, I don't always have concentration and I don't feel that I could be a good partner, and that has always been important to me. Sometimes we fear hurting the other person and are afraid to say no and to set a boundary. It generally works out well in the end when you listen to yourself. Again, it is about balance. I can't give away what I don't have. I was told that I needed to top myself up and only give away the overflow. It is important to have an outside interest. In today, for me it is coming to the sites and a game of Bejewelled 3. My computer and my sites became an addiction, they completely took up my thoughts and was always on line forgetting to live my own life. I had to pray and ask for healing of my thoughts. There was no more 'have to do" in my thinking and I was able to LIVE my life. |
What will happen when and if I relapse? If you are thinking this, you are heading that way, if you don`t take precautions and connect with your God and work the program daily.
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Love this, it reminds me that even though I stopped using, my disease didn't go away. It is just there waiting for me to pick up and it is always there whispering in my year that I don't have a problem, everyone else has. This time it will be different, you haven't used for a long time, and so what if you picked up a few substitutions along the way, you are just F.I.N.E. It is a spiritual program and started a spiritual quest at 1 year sober. I had so many messages from my past and from listening to all the members in AA, I had to look to see who my God was to me. Through that search and connecting with my God, I found myself. At the beginning it was in meetings and listening to the people who shared, later on the internet, yet it all amounts for me, to my connection with my God. He/She is as shown to me in today, and I am given that Divine Orderly Good, because my God give me Good Orderly Direction by showing me a new way of life and utilizes people, places and things to show me the way. If I don't make that daily connection, I allow my disease to slip in be it by listening to people who are still acting out in their disease or by allowing blocks and walls to be erected to block me from that Spirit, and/or ignoring the lessons and experiences I am shown and prevent myself from growing by closing my mind. My daily connection is the only defense I have against this disease. I also have to be aware that my disease is not one drug, I have used many things over the years and anything I put between me and my God, becomes my drug of choice in today. It isn't the drug: alcohol, pills, relationships (fear of being alone), men (looking for attention), food, shopping, gambling (Nevada Tickets), work and busy. It is not the drug, that isn`t the issue, the problem is me. It was me long before I picked up my first drug that helped me to stuff and not allow me to feel. I always wanted to escape from my reality because it was fear and pain, and I spent most of my life looking outside of myself to make me feel better. The insanity of our disease, so much better to go within and get in touch with my Creator. Addiction takes many forms. |
Are you aware that you are a people pleaser?
http://psychcentral.com/lib/21-tips-...eople-pleaser/ Read over these statements to see if they apply to you under some circumstances: I try to be who someone wants me to be. am afraid to rock the boat. It is hard for me to know what I want. I avoid speaking my mind. I find it easier to go along with what someone wants or with their opinion. I fantasize about a strong person taking over my life and making it work. It is hard for me to express my feelings when they are different from someone I’m close to. It is difficult for me to say No. I avoid getting angry. It is hard for me to take initiative. I try to be nice rather than expressing how I really feel. I want everyone to get along. If these statements fit you in certain situations, you may have a People-Pleaser Pattern. You don’t need to behave this way all the time. You may be pleasing only with certain people or in certain situations. Personality patterns aren’t the same as personality types. If you have this pattern, it doesn’t mean that you are always a People-Pleaser, just that a part of you is. http://www.animated-gifs.eu/mammals-...tures/0044.gif |
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One day's thoughts and actions. One day's experiences, adventures, and disappointments. When we live in today, the pictures isn't so overwhelming. When I try to bring in yesterday and tomorrow, today becomes unmanageable. Give God the gift of a thankful heart. Don't think I have read those line before, if so, it was a long time ago. Similiar words and meanings but just not put that way. That is my gift today that I will take with me. I am so grateful for recovery. It has given me so much. The greatest gift has been myself. Without sobriety, I would be dead. There wasn't much 'me' left and recovery has put me back together again, one day at a time. God and I are still working on it! http://www.hazeldenbettyford.org/rec...ur-hours-a-day |
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I had a lot of anger as a result of the marriage too, a lot of mental and emotional abuse and then it became physical. No woman should stay in that kind of relationship, you deserve better. He killed all the love I had for him. The same thing happened with my first marriage, along with the fact that he was running around with other women and then felt the need to introduce me to them. He was not their the night our son was born, and he moved out when our son was two months old to move in with one of his women. I know that I loved him but the pain was too much and had to do a lot of healing by applying the Steps, then at 15 years sober, I went to sexual assault counselling. My first husband was the first person to rape me. I felt that it was my fault because I wasn't a good wife or woman. I didn't know I had the right to say no to my husband. It was a role I had to play. So many old tapes got in the way, and thanks to the program, I was able to heal and find myself. |
Don't intellectualize, don't question how it works. Just know it does and don't question it with Who, Why, and Wheres?
Don't intellectualize, just accept. The program works if you work for it. Take the body and the mind will follow! When I find myself 'wanting' something, I need to examine 'Why' and ask myself if it is self-will or my God's Will. My God meets my needs, He/She even supplies my wants and desires if they are for my Romper Room. When I get needy I get greedy and childish and want what is good for me, without thought of anyone else. Will - Step 3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him. Step 11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God, as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out. Willing - Willing to believe in a Power greater than myself. BB, p. 12 If you have decided you want what we have and are willing to go to any length to get it -- then you are ready to take certain steps. BB, p. 58 Willing to grow along spiritual lines. BB, p. 60 Willing to make amends. BB, p. 76 Willing to place spiritual growth first. 12x12, p. 114 Willing to take advice and accept direction. 12x12, p. 59 It works, if I work for it. So many people say, "They are only suggestions." Well there are some darn well betters or you will pick up, which can be anything other than your drug of choice and you feel like there is nothing wrong because it isn't your drug of choice. The 12 Steps are applicable to all parts of my life. In order to recovery, I had to look at my pill addiction, my alcoholism, my codependency, my relationships, my eating disorder, and my addiction to busy and the computer. I had to look at my life and see how I was looking outside of myself to make me feel better. Recovery is an inside job. For so many years, I questioned myself. I had to go within and find myself. I had to go within and work on what was there, rather than what I thought was there or wanted to be there. I had to work on my character defects, behaviors and habits, as well as heal from my addiction(s). It was about getting honest about my dis-ease, opening my mind to new things, and willing to do what ever it takes to maintain my sobriety. The program works if you work it. http://angelwinks.net/images/thought...ghtpod1068.jpg |
The program works if you work for it. The program works if you work for the program. Service has always been a big part of my recovery,
One of my medication cards yesterday: New Beginnings:- A clear slate is now encounter presented to you as you now encounter fresh opportunities and novel experiences. Sometimes we cling to old routines because they are familiar. I only get out of a day what I put into it. Are you willing to put your life into the Care of God? http://www.animated-gifs.eu/phone-240x320-dogs/0107.gif |
0nce Y0u L0se Sum0ne... ♥
It's Never The Exactly The Same Pers0n Who Comes Back....! :'( SMS2 Text I felt so different from the person that came through the doors of recovery, I didn't think anyone would recognize me. A member of my group said, 'Just because you change the color of your hair doesn't mean I can't recognize you. Another person said, "Do you ever keep track of the number of times yo u change your hair style and color." I was searching for me and I recognize that I was focusing on the outside. I came into the program a red head, went back to my original color, a brunette and my son suggested I go blonde. I did not recognize myself, I got lost along the way. I had to get out of the way, work the program, and allow the changes to happen. I was generally the last to notice. They say fake it until you make it. Not one of my favourite sayings, but in truth it does work. I kept coming and didn't have to come back. http://www.whats-your-sign.com/image...olMeanings.jpg |
Bible Verses About Trusting God - Read scriptures about the importance of believing in and trusting God even though we can not see him. Read biblical answers to questions about God, like "who is God?", "what is God really like?", "why can't we see God?" and many more.
Use our Bible verses by topic page to quickly find scriptures about popular topics. 1 Peter 2:1-5 Therefore, rid yourselves of all malice and all deceit, hypocrisy, envy, and slander of every kind. Like newborn babies, crave pure spiritual milk, so that by it you may grow up in your salvation, now that you have tasted that the Lord is good. As you come to him, the living Stone--rejected by men but chosen by God and precious to him-- you also, like living stones, are being built into a spiritual house to be a holy priesthood, offering spiritual sacrifices acceptable to God through Jesus Christ. Isaiah 41:10 So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. Jeremiah 17:5 This is what the LORD says: "Cursed is the one who trusts in man, who depends on flesh for his strength and whose heart turns away from the LORD. The God of your understanding is with you always, if you question your life, then you are questioning your God. Faith opens the door. |
What Are the Symptoms of Alcohol Abuse?
The following symptoms are associated with alcohol abuse: Temporary blackouts or memory loss. Recurrent arguments or fights with family members or friends as well as irritability, depression, or mood swings. Continuing use of alcohol to relax, to cheer up, to sleep, to deal with problems, or to feel "normal." Headache, anxiety, insomnia, nausea, or other unpleasant symptoms when you stop drinking. Flushed skin and broken capillaries on the face; a husky voice; trembling hands; bloody or black/tarry stools or vomitingblood; chronic diarrhea; and drinking alone, in the mornings, or in secret; these symptoms are specifically associated with alcoholism. Keep in mind that alcohol abuse is different from alcohol dependence. With abuse, a person uses alcohol in excess but may not have regular cravings, a need to use daily, or withdrawal symptoms during sudden stoppage. The person may often have heavy alcohol binge episodes separated by periods of not drinking. If a person is dependent on alcohol, he or she needs to drink regularly or even daily and drink more and more to get the same effects. The person also experiences withdrawal symptoms if he or she stops drinking and wants to quit drinking alcohol but can't. Call Your Doctor About Alcohol Dependence If: You have any of the symptoms listed in the description section and are unable to stop drinking on your own. You need medical intervention to treat alcoholism. You may also be susceptible to ailments such as alcoholic hepatitis, ulcers, cirrhosis, and heart disease. You drink regularly and experience chronic or periodic depression. You may be at risk of suicide. You have tried to stop drinking and experienced withdrawal symptoms such as headache, anxiety, insomnia, nausea, or delirium tremens (DTs). You need medical attention by a doctor or a treatment center. Ask yourself, "Do I have a problem?" C -- You tried but failed to Cut down your drinking A -- You are Annoyed by criticism from others about drinking G -- You feel Guilt about consequences of drinking (such as loss of job or relationship) E -- You've needed a drink or Eye-opener to steady your nerves or treat a hangover If you answered "yes" to two or more of these questions, you could have a problem with alcohol. Reviewed by: Jennifer Robinson, MD on March 01, 2015. |
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Just like this Santa, going no where fast! Are you your own worst enemy? http://www.animated-gifs.eu/phone-24...stmas/0076.gif |
It is a long-time dream which has finally come true. As I learn, I hope to enhance it, but for the moment, the basics are there. A woman in Michigan helped me build this several years ago, when I was clueless about sites and the internet, and she guided me by talking to me on Instant Messenger on MSN. My old sites that were on MSN and Multiply are all gone. I am still clueless and don't know how to add to the site or to change anything that is there. Do you have peace and harmony in your life? |
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I identified so much with ACoA (Adult Children of Alcoholics), and I was so grateful that I went to AA first, or I might have died in my disease because of my denial. http://www.animated-gifs.eu/ps-santa/0004.gif |
How are you feeling today?
F.I.N.E. Frustrated, Insecure, Neurotic, and Emotional. The one I like is "...and enjoying it." Getting in touch with my emotions was difficult. I had shoved them down all of my life. I hadn't felt them, so how could I identify them. I had trouble putting a name on them. What I thought was anger, often turned out to be resentment, hurt, rejection, abandonment, and a lot of other things that my sponsor help me to identify. They said I had to feel them in order to let me go, so I found that I had to pray for the willingness to be willing to not stuff my feelings with other substances than my drug(s) of choice, people, places, and things. |
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https://encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com/i...CoW2NwJsrBib3g Thank God the program still works. |
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Look at the whole picture, what do you see? |
Sobriety is soundness of mind.
I have to work on my soundness of mind daily. That means my emotional sobriety. I haven't had a drink in 24 years. That means I am sober. Do you have emotional hangovers from the day before? Do you lay your emotions to rest when you go to bed at night or do you pick them up when you get up in the morning? What do you do with your emotions? Do you acknowledge them? Do you ignore them? Perhaps you pick up a cigarette or decide you are hungry? Are you feeling comfortable being with yourself or are you feeling a little antsy? Do you need to pick up a book or turn the TV on? Do the normal programs no longer satisfy your mind and your normal routine not fill up your mind. Is something leaking into your mind that you don't want there that you are wanting to avoid? Just maybe you should look at it, perhaps it is a sign. Maybe your God is giving you a little nudge. I thought these sites were closed (The Five As and Soundness of Mind). I have been telling everyone they were. The format is changed, and I am not sure if I can respond to anythings posted here, but I felt led here tonight, so there must have been a very good reason. http://www.angelwinks.ca/images/angelblowingkisses2.gif |
Ain't It The Truth???
Ain't it the truth!?
Do you know what happened this week back in 1850, 166 years ago? California became a state. The State had no electricity. The State had no money. Almost everyone spoke Spanish. There were gunfights in the streets. So basically, it was just like California is today, except the women had real breasts and the men didn't hold hands. Received with thanks from my friend Daryl. This reminds me of all the old tapes and thou shall nots that I grew up with. Those things you didn't mention, talk about or let on that you knew anything about. Those feeling you didn't act on and stuffed. Those actions you wanted to take, but didn't because it wasn't considered "proper." What is reality? How can it be real if it is not mentioned or acknowledged? The lack of emotion and showing that you cared. I was not huggable when I came into recovery. I use to say, "I don't do hugs." Today, I ask, "Do you do hugs?" I feel like I brought the hug to AA. That may be an ego thing, but there weren't very many of them going around when I got here several twenty-four hours ago. As they say in NA, "Hugs not drugs!" What ever your drug of choice may be. (Work, food, gambling, computer, relationships, alcohol, drugs, exercise, religion, etc......) My drug of choice was always more. Some people say, "Well it wasn't my drug of choice." I find that when I become addicted to something, it can lead me back to that drug of choice. I also have found that my drug of choice is no longer working for me, so I have to add more, be it a different alcoholic beverage or I start a pill, pot, or food maintenance program. |
Did you pick up a Recovery Tool in today?
Tools of Sobriety (Soundness of Mind) Something we all need, no matter what fellowship we belong to. Monday, September 22, 2014 You are reading from the book Today's Gift Kindness and intelligence don't always deliver us from the pitfalls and traps. —Barbara Grizzuti Harrison Being human means we'll have hard times along with pleasant ones. Whether with friends, at school, or at home, we'll find reasons for sadness or anger as easily as for laughter. In every part of our lives, we're offered just what we need for growth. Being the best we know how to be doesn't mean we'll escape confusion or pain. Through the troubling times we learn to trust in a Higher Power; we learn patience; we learn to let go and let God decide outcomes. The troubling times offer us growth and serenity, our keys to happiness. What hidden gifts will I find in today's troubles? Some of many more posted on the site: 90 TOOLS FOR SOBRIETY 1 ) Stay away from that first drink, taking the 1st step daily. 2 ) Attend AA, or the fellowship of your choice, regularly and get involved. 3 ) Progress is made ONE DAY AT A TIME. 4 ) Use the 24 Hour plan. 5 ) Turn your "dis-ease" to a sense of ease. Picture yourself as "recovered." 6 ) Do first things first. 7 ) Don't become too tired. 8 ) Eat at regular hours. 9 ) Use the telephone. (not just after the fact but during too.). 10) Be active - don't just sit around. Idle time will kill you. 11) Use the Serenity Prayer. 12) Change old routines and patterns. 13) Don't become too hungry. 14) Avoid loneliness. 15) Practice control of your anger. 16) Air your resentments. 17) Be willing to help whenever needed. 18) Be good to yourself, you deserve it. 19) Easy does it. 20) Get out of the "IF ONLY" trap. 21) Remind yourself HOW IT WAS. Your last drunk, the feelings etc. Picture better alternatives. 22) Be aware of your emotions. Reason about them. 23) Help another in his/her recovery, extend your hand, listen. 24) Try to turn your life and your will over to your Higher Power. 25) Avoid all mood-altering drugs, read labels on all medicines. 26) Turn loose of old ideas. 27) Avoid drinking situations/occasions. 28) Replace old drinking buddies with new AA buddies. 29) Read the Big Book. 30) Try not to be dependent on another (sick relationships). Be independent or inter-dependent. 31) Be grateful, and when you're not, make a GRATITUDE list. 32) Get off the "Pity Pot"...the only thing you'll get is a ring around your bottom if you don't. 33) Seek knowledgeable help when troubled and or otherwise. 34) Face it! You are in control of your destiny. 35) Try the 12 and 12, not just 1 and 12 or 1, 12 and 13! 36) Let go and Let God. 37) Use the "God box." (Write down your worries and problems. Put them in the God box. Once you've done so, you can no longer think about them for that day. Use God's answers: yes, no, or wait, I have something better in store for you. Don't forget to say thanks. 38) Find courage to change through the example of others who have. 39) Don't try to test your will power. When in doubt, DON'T. (Or don't, yet.) 40) Live TODAY, not YESTERDAY, not TOMORROW - projection is planning the results before anything even happens. 41) Avoid emotional involvements the first year - you end up putting the other person first and lose sight of "your" program. 42) Remember, YOU ARE NOT YOUR DIS-EASE. So, take it easy on yourself. 43) Rejoice in the manageability of your new life. 44) Be humble--Humility is not in thinking of yourself more, but in thinking more of yourself less often. Watch the ego. 45) Share your experience, strength and hope as much as possible and as creatively as possible. 46) Cherish your recovery. 47) Dump your garbage regularly - GIGO = Garbage In Garbage Out. 48) Get plenty of "restful" sleep. 49) Stay sober for you - not someone else - otherwise it won't work. 50) Practice rigorous honesty with yourself and others. 51) Progress is made ONE DAY AT A TIME, not 10 years in one day! 55) Make no major decisions the first year. 56) Get a sponsor and use him/her. 57) Know that no matter what your problems, someone's had them before. Don't be afraid to share, as a problem shared is one 1/2 solved. 58) Strive for progress not perfection. 59) When in doubt ask questions. The only stupid question is the one not asked. 60) Use prayer and meditation. 61) Maintain a balance: spiritual, physical, emotional and mental. 62) Don't use other substances as a maintenance program. 63) Learn to take spot check inventories. 64) Watch out for the RED FLAGS ... things that give excuses for poor behavior and inevitable relapse. 65) Know that its okay to be human ... just don't drink over it. 66) Be kind to yourself; it's about time, don't you think? 67) Don't take yourself so seriously - take the dis-ease seriously! 68) Know that whatever it is that's causing pain - it shall pass. 69) Stay as far away from the DRY DRUNK SYNDROME as humanly possible. 70) Don't give away more than you can afford oo, your sobriety comes first and must be the number 1 priority. Protect it at all costs. 71) Take down those bricks from the wall around you; you'll be able to see the daylight better. Let people know who you are. 72) Get a home group and attend it regularly. 73) Know that the light at the end of the tunnel is not an oncoming train, but actually a ray of hope. Drop the negativity. 74) Know that you are not alone, that's why the "We" is in the steps. 75) Be willing to go to any lengths to stay and be sober. 76) Know that no matter how bleak and dark your past may be, your future is clean, bright and clear if you don't drink today. 77) Stay out of your own way. 78) Don't be in a hurry--remember "TIME = Things I Must Earn". 79) Watch the EGO. "EGO = Ease God Out". 80) Protect your sobriety at all costs. Keep the light on you. 81) Learn to listen, not just hear. Be open-minded and nonjudgmental. 82) Know that if your insides match your outsides, everyone looks good. 83) If the rest of the world looks bad, check yourself out first. 84) Gratitude is in the attitude. 85) When all else fails ... punt! Up the number of meetings!!! 86) Remember FEAR = FALSE EVIDENCE APPEARING REAL! 87) If they knew better, they'd do better. Think about letting things go. 88) Handle what you can and leave the rest, don't overtax yourself. You can only accomplish so much in a given 24 hours. 89) Honesty and consistency are key factors in recovery. 90) Let the little kid in you out - learn how to laugh from the gut. -adapted from ideas by Bob |
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My sister especially likes assuming the martyr and victim role, in the present and blames her past relationship on others, especially our mother. I am so grateful for the program that it gave me the freedom to let go and take care of myself. So grateful that I could identify with ACoA, it was like looking in a mirror. I went to AA for my denial and it took me a long time to get honest and admit to the fact that I qualified for both fellowships. As they say, that is H.O.W. HOW IT WORKS. Me getting honest with me, keeping an open mind, and willing to change and look at all areas of my life in order to recover. Do I do the do things for my recovery. I have to 'have it' in order to give it away. How can I give away what I don't have? |
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I was told that when you it a rough patch, get back to basics, Step One. What did you do when you first came into recovery? Go to meetings, call your sponsor, read the literature, pick up the phone call a friend or a family member. Get out of self and help someone else.
Do you believe in angels? May you continue to grow in the Fellowship of the Spirit. May the White Light of Love shone on you each day and bring you health, happiness, and prosperity. This angel picture will change daily. Come to visit each day and receive the blessings that are given to you by your Earthly and Guardian Angels. |
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Without one step, I set myself up for recovery. Only choosing the one I want, keeps me in danger of relapsing. The following is a post made by a friend and used with her permission. |
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