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October 16
Step by Step “The less people tolerated (alcoholics), the more we withdrew from society, from life itself. As we became subjects of King Alcohol, shivering denizens of his mad realm, the chilling vapor that is loneliness settled down. It thickened, ever becoming blacker. Some of us sought out sordid places, hoping to find understanding companionship and approval. Momentarily we did – then would come oblivion and the awful awakening to face the hideous Four Horsemen – Terror, Bewilderment, Frustration, Despair.” – Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, Ch 11 (“A Vision for You”), p 151. Today, the “hideous Four Horsemen,” remembering that they once again will overwhelm me – if I allow them. I must not let either time or the distance from my last drink dim the desperation of the “chilling vapor that is loneliness” and the “sordid places” I sought for approval, acceptance or simple companionship. Nor must I forget the shattered quiet morning after when self-loathing, desperation and physical and emotional emptiness fueled the cycle to do it all over again and face another night of that “chilling vapor” of loneliness and another shattered quiet morning after. My life in sobriety is a day-by-day reprieve from that desperate drinking, and I must not take for granted today that sobriety is guaranteed to me tomorrow. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M. ************************************************** ~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~ ADMITTING WRONGS A man should never be ashamed to own he has been in the wrong, which is but saying, in other words, that he is wiser today than he was yesterday. ~ Alexander Pope ~ No one can grow spiritually until they have cleared their conscience and gained the respect and forgiveness of others by admitting their wrongs. Only by wiping the slate clean can we free ourselves of the constant painful reminders of acts and words which have left us with regrets, guilt, and shame. Of course, we can’t be free of thoughts about the past until we have learned, through thorough inventories, the nature of our mistakes. Our admission of wrongdoing may help others understand us better, but the person most benefited from the admission is us. The process of admitting wrongs assures us that we have accepted honesty as an asset we need in our new way of life. The sooner I admit my mistakes, the easier they are to correct. Let me promptly admit it when I am wrong. ************************************************** ~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~ The whole life of the individual is nothing but the process of giving birth to himself indeed, we should be fully born when we die. ~ Erich Fromm ~ We think of childhood as the period of development and growth. For some reason we regard adulthood as the time when we should settle down and live as fully formed individuals. This is not true. Psychologists now know that in a healthy person, adult development continues throughout life. When we look back five years, we can see ways that we have changed. Life continues to present us with new puzzles and new opportunities to become better men. We can also be stopped in our development if we refuse to open up to new growth. An addiction or a codependent way of relating to others can freeze our growth. When we open ourselves to the truth, we can resolve our puzzles and seize the opportunities to grow into wiser, stronger, more generous, honest, and open- hearted men. I will engage with the reality that today brings, and I will continue to grow. ************************************************** ~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~ I always have a choice: to learn from the lessons life offers me or to retreat into my lonely victim role. ~ Charlotte Kasl ~ What a difference it makes in our journey to believe that every experience is an opportunity to grow and to heal the pain of being human. None of us travel this road unscathed. Our interactions are devastating on occasion, but we can survive them. And sharing how we did so can give other women hope and strength and healing when they most need it. Luckily not every experience is hard or painful. Many moments every day are delightful. Sometimes the joy we feel and the laughter we share are simply the result of being grateful for our daily blessings. Our attitudes have far-reaching consequences in our lives. How we choose to interpret the actions of others determines how we feel. Our serenity doesn’t have to be dependent on others’ actions. I will be as joyful as I choose today. If I’m willing to accept assistance, my Higher Power will help me make the choice. ************************************************** ~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~ I get help from many helpers I used to be afraid of asking for help. Accepting it was almost harder. But slips and relapses, set-backs and breakthroughs have taught me that I have needed (and still need) help. And slowly I've become more willing to ask for it and to accept it. I feel stronger when I glance back and see that over time, help for my dual disorder has come from many different people: men and women; young and old; recovering people (a sponsor, a support person, a host of friends); and professionals (a psychiatrist, a therapist, a counselor, a social worker, a caseworker, a clergywoman). I am grateful to them all. I will do the best I can on my own and then respectfully call on my helpers as needed. ************************************************* ~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~ History books begin and end, but the events they describe do not. ~ R.G. Collingwood ~ Each day we turn a new page in our recovery, and we grow more settled in our new life. As we learn to live in the present, neither fearing the future nor feeling shame about the past, we discover new pleasures in simply living. We don’t have to hide our fear any more, we don’t have to suppress grief or shame or anger. We don’t have to keep our real selves secret behind a veil of chemicals. But we do need to remember. Our old behavior is still a part of us. We may still be paying the consequences for it, with legal or health problems. We may still feel remorse over our actions. And we need to remember that our addiction did not end simply because we stopped using our drug of choice. We could relapse at any time if we aren’t careful and don’t work our program. We could replace our old addictive behaviors at any time with equally unhealthy new ones that may be harder for us to see. This is why we keep going to meetings. This is why we need our sponsor, our other program friends, and our Higher Power. Recovery is active. When we are working at it, we are recovering. Today help me see what work I need to do for my recovery. ************************************************** ~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~ We are made, kind by being kind. ~ Eric Hoffer ~ There are two components of kindness: being kind to yourself and being kind to others. If you find it difficult to care for yourself, forgive yourself, or consider yourself worthy of love and understanding, then you may find it difficult to be kind to yourself. Most people in recovery are their own worst enemies. They may treat others well, but hold themselves up to intense criticism and scrutiny. By the same token, you may consider it far easier to be kind to others. One way to develop self-kindness is to think of your self as a child. How would you treat this child? What les-sons would you teach? How long would you hold your child hostage to a misbehavior or mistake? Would you use mistakes as opportunities for developing greater understanding, or inflict punishment? Another way to develop self-kindness is to think of someone you treat well. What are the types of things you do for this person? How do you treat this person when a mistake is made? Are you able to forgive transgressions because the good qualities are much more important to you? Being able to extend kindness to others is wonderful. But so too is being able to show kindness to the per-son you are. Today I will treat myself with kindness. ************************************************** ~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~ To make one pound of honey one bee would need to travel 50,000 miles, more than twice the distance around the globe. . . . A single teaspoon of honey in six weeks is a bee's entire life quota. ~ Margaret T. Applegarth ~ A grandmother watched her grandchild open birthday presents. All around the child were toys and records and books that had brought smiles to the child's eyes. But after the child opened the large box and saw what was in it, the smile faded. “What is it?" the child asked. "It’s a quilt made to show the story of your eleven years," the grandmother said. "Here's your very first step and here's the first time you lost a tooth. Here's your first time swimming and here's the birth of your baby brother. Each picture shows you growing and maturing. It has taken me eleven years to make this quilt for you, but you will have that quilt for the rest of your life." The child is now an adult, but goes to sleep every night under a quilt filled with memories of her early life and the loving patience of her grandmother. Tonight I need to remember the time to become special. ************************************************** ~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~ Releasing our selves A concept of right and wrong, good and evil, is reintroduced into our lives by the program. Some people ask in panic, “Do you really mean at this time in history, to reintroduce the devil—hooves, horns, and all?” Well, we really don’t know what this time in history has to do with it. The hooves and horns are important only because we wear them ourselves. So our answer is yes, the devil in us, the cause of our troubles, must be reintroduced and understood to be conquered. We are at the root of our own troubles; we are our own devils. And until we act to release ourselves of our selves, we will continue to slip and suffer. Have I conquered myself? Higher Power, with your grace may I recognize my own devil and turn it over to you so that with your help it may be conquered. Today I will restrain myself by God help me to stay clean and sober today! ************************************************** ~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~ Trust in God: She will provide. ~ EMMELINE PANKHURST ~ Newcomer I brought a friend to a meeting recently. I was nervous all through it, wondering if the speaker was saying things in a way that made sense to her; judging what other people shared, and wanting them to like my friend and reach out to her. I felt as if I were the host at a big party, worrying about whether everyone was having a good time or not. Sponsor The experience you've described has valuable information to offer. It says, among other things, how much you appreciate recovery and want to share your experience of it. It says, tog that you care about your friends. Most of us have been through similar experiences in recovery and can identify with your discomfort. It's hard to relax if we think we're running the show. We're not really hosts at a party, though, and we're not responsible for how it goes. We have to trust that people we bring to a meeting will hear and respond to whatever they're ready to take in, no more and no less. We can neither predict nor control what that will be, any more than we can predict or control what others at the meeting will share or hear. Other people's experience of recovery is not our responsibility; in fact, it's none of our business. When we surrender the outcome to a Higher Power, each meeting is exactly what it's supposed to be. Today, I let go of my worries about how a meeting is proceeding; I allow myself to focus on my own recovery. ************************************************** ~ THE EYE OPENER ~ By the very nature of our AA work, we often are exposed to the worst in the new man on our first contact with him. Too frequently, we pronounce judgement at once, and all our future work is prejudiced by that first impression. Think back a little—you weren't a lily yourself when you sought AA. ************************************************** ~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~ The Weight of the World O God of many names, bless You for lifting the weight of the world off my shoulders. It was never mine to carry in the first place. Surrendering my will to You has removed the loneliness and isolation that addiction placed within me. I need other people. I need their help. The key to unlocking the many gifts of recovery is asking for help. Your direction and love has taught me to ask for help and to help when I am asked. ************************************************* ~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~ A TREATMENT IS AN OPERATION The word treatment is usually applied to a prayer that is made for some specific purpose, as distinct from a general prayer, which is really a visit with God. You must remember that a treatment is a definite practical action, having a definite object and a definite beginning and end. It is in fact a surgical operation on the soul. Let us suppose that you decide to heal a certain difficulty by prayer. You know that your difficulty must be caused by some negative thought charged with fear and located in the subconscious mind. You therefore turn to God, and remind yourself of His goodness, His limitless power, and His care for you. As you work the fear will begin to dissolve, and the awareness of the Truth corrects the erroneous beliefs themselves. Thank God for the healing that you believe will come—and then you keep your thought off the matter until you feel led, after an interval, to treat again. He sent his word, and healed them . . . (Psalm 107:20). ************************************************** ~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~ Eggs Anyone can count the number of seeds in an apple, but only God can count the number of apples in a seed. ~ Anonymous ~ While watching a public television program on the process of human birth, I learned an astounding fact: When a female child is born, her body contains all the eggs she will ever produce as a woman. This fact bears tremendous symbolic import: When we arrive on earth, we contain all the potential for everything we will ever accomplish. No matter how long we are here or what we do, we cannot add to our potential. The question is not, “How much potential do you have?” It is, "How much potential will you live?” The word education is derived from the Latin educare, meaning “to draw forth from within." True learning is not accomplished by pounding something new into our psyche; it is allowing our innate wisdom to come forth. Much of what we call education is not a drawing forth, but rather an indoctrination or regimentation. Real education spotlights a child's uniqueness and stimulates her to discover and act on her natural talents. What would you be doing differently if you knew that the seeds of greatness were already with you? Everything you need to succeed has been given to you. "What you are is God's gift to you. What you make of yourself is your gift to God." You made me what lam. Help me to live it. I have all that I need to succeed. I put my gifts into action and draw success to me. |
October 17
Step by Step Today, no regrets, grief, sense of loss or the bitter from the sweet of what I must leave behind in my journey toward sobriety. Some people and places that were a significant, even enabling part of my life in my drinking days may no longer have a place in my new life in recovery, and I must be prepared that I may have to cut some losses in order to attain greater gains. If I am reluctant to move on without someone or something that was an influential part of my life as a drinking alcoholic, may I be able to remove myself from the emotional and use the logic to ask if maintaining old ties is worth the risk to my recovery. If so, I have no choice but to move on although I will never be alone. Today, if my sobriety requires it, I may have to make the tough choices between what once was seemingly precious to me and moving toward something even more precious. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M. ************************************************** ~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~ ACTION Faith is spelled A-C-T-I-O-N. ~ Anonymous ~ Again and again, we are told that our recovery program is, above all, one of action. We are constantly reminded that "nobody can do it for you." Yet the action in our Program is not a singular effort. It involves every member. In a boatload of people, one person paddling with a single oar will make little progress. Everyone must row if the whole boatload is to survive. Our Program truly is a fellowship. We all work together toward our common goal, recovery. Each of us contributes to the progress of all. During the times we were driven by our addictions and compulsions, we were often uneasy about our friendships. The new friendships we’ve found in recovery are some of the rewards of our present lifestyle. I am learning that unless I take action to further my recovery, faith and growth are impossible. But I need my friendships also. In recovery, I don't “think less of myself, I think of myself less." ************************************************** ~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~ I see God in every human being. ~ Mother Teresa of Calcutta ~ In our spiritual development, we learn to see expressions of the creator, the ultimate good, in many places in our daily life. We may imagine that God is a distant figure that we cannot know. But many great spiritual thinkers of various religions teach us to see God within every person. That includes ourselves. We are created by God and we have a right to be here. No matter what we have done, our being is still a creation of the ultimate and we ought to hold ourselves in high esteem. When we accept this spiritual truth, what follows is that we honor ourselves and our actions express self-respect. After we accept that God is within every fiber of our being, we can also greet all fellow human beings with honor for the God within them. This is not something that comes easily or by simple decision. It is a wisdom that grows when we come to terms with our defects and accept them as part of our whole being. We don’t have to be perfect in order to honor the God within us. Today I accept the ultimate truth of God within me and all people I see. ************************************************** ~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~ Our anxiety about clarifying what we think and how we feel may be greatest in our most important relationships. ~ Harriet Lerner ~ We want love and acceptance from everybody, especially our most intimate friends. Because we fear their judgment—or even worse, their rejection—we pale at the thought of letting them know who we really are, what we really think, how we really feel. Yet when we don’t let the important people in our lives know us fully, we never feel secure. We live in fear that they will leave us. Acknowledging that our happiness is this tentative can help us take the plunge into real honesty with others. What have we got to lose? We couldn’t have taken this risk of honesty before coming to this program of recovery. But here we have role models to look to, sponsors to talk to, and a Higher Power to pray to. We will be able to do what we couldn’t do before, and our relationships will reflect it. I can risk letting my friends see the real me today. My honesty, shared lovingly, won’t send them away. ************************************************** ~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~ I think I think too much These days, I have several problems that I cannot solve. (A dual disorder is like that, I hear.) I work on them, but they aren't easy to resolve. Some days I just keep hashing them over and over. I can't let go. Soon I feel drained, anxious, and frustrated. In talking with my sponsor about this painful spinning, I realized two things. First, it's in my nature to think and analyze. But being obsessed keeps me stuck and gets me nowhere. Second, as much as I want to be in control, I am not—my higher power is. The good news, however, is that I am developing a degree of faith. I have a sense that things will work out over time, whether I worry over them, feel bad about them, or not. Today I will review Step Three and clear my mind by writing out a list of my problems. ************************************************* ~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~ When they discover the center of the universe a lot of people will be disappointed to discover they are not it. ~ Bernard Bailey ~ Things happen every day that can make us angry. If we let all the anger pile up, we’ll be carrying around a load so heavy our sobriety might collapse under the strain. But it’s surprisingly simple to lighten that load. One way is to express our anger openly and honestly when it’s appropriate. Another is to remember we aren’t the center of the universe. When we humbly accept that we share the world with everyone else equally, we can choose to respond with understanding instead of anger. When another car cuts us off in traffic, it helps to remember that roads are there for everyone, not just us. It helps to remember that the actions of others are not necessarily aimed at us personally, however thoughtless and hurtful those actions might be. Others don’t sit around and plot ways to make us angry. Now, by humbly accepting our rightful place in the world — no better or worse than anyone else’s — we can work to simplify our life, reduce our anger, and make room for a growing serenity and continued spiritual growth. Today let me reduce my anger and grow in serenity. ************************************************** ~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~ Jealousy is all the fun you think they had.... ~ Erica Jong ~ There is a difference between admiring another or wanting to emulate someone you consider to be a role model and being jealous of other people. When you are jealous, you are not just focused on what others have, but on what others have that you do not. Jealousy can arise from a sense of entitlement. You may feel that you are deserving of something you are not getting or that others have. Jealousy can also be an outcome of comparing yourself to others. You may consider that you have worked just as hard as others have. So you may think, “Why can’t I have what they have?” Insecurity can also lead to jealous feelings. You may think that what others have is something you will never achieve because you are not good enough. Just as jealous feelings can arise and strengthen, so too can they arise and be minimized. Rather than berate yourself for what you feel you do not have, look closely at your life and the positive things in it. Breaking free from jealousy begins with how you think and then extends into taking action. Rather than focus on what others have or are doing, I will focus on what I have and what I need to do. ************************************************** ~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~ We come into the world crying while all around us are smiling. May we so live that we go out of this world smiling while everybody around us is weeping. ~ Persian proverb ~ Do we matter to others? Have our lives touched the lives of others? Do we think of ourselves as important and worthwhile? There are many lives we touch in a day, a week, months, or years. Each of these lives was meant to touch ours. We are meant to exist. We are children of our Higher Power and are watched constantly with love and concern. We do matter to those around us. Birth, as well as death, heralds the entrance and the exit of a life filled with meaning and purpose. We were meant to be here now, not only for ourselves but for the many lives around us. Our lives are important and worthwhile to all the people we know. Help me see tonight that my life matters. Just as others have touched me, so have I touched the lives of others. ************************************************** ~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~ Having a Higher Power Our program is spiritual. To work the program, we need to recognize a Higher Power. New knowledge becomes available through new instruments. We did not have much knowledge of the stars until the telescope or much knowledge of germs until the micro-scope. You can think of the Twelve Steps as an instrument—a means to realizing and remembering you have a Higher Power. When we want to explore what lies be-yond the five senses, we have to use an instrument that reaches beyond these senses. When we sincerely ask our Higher Power, it will show us an answer. Maybe not with writing on the wall, but we will be guided. After all, how did we get to this program? Am I in touch with my Higher Power? Higher Power, help me use the Twelve Steps as an instrument to gain knowledge of your presence in my life. Today I will improve my conscious contact with my Higher Power by God help me to stay clean and sober today! ************************************************** ~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~ Regret is an appalling waste of energy, you can't build on it: it's only good for wallowing in. ~ KATHERINE MANSFIELD ~ Newcomer Someone I hoped would be an important part of my life for years to come has left. I'm devastated. I don't know how much of what happened is my fault; I keep thinking, "lf only I hadn't said what I said . . ." Sponsor Human lives are filled with all kinds of separation. Friends, mates, family members—the people in our lives are only lent to us. If they accompany us for some part of our journey, we're blessed. We don't get to control or keep them. Sentences beginning "if only" can go nowhere but straight to regret. They support our false belief that we can control what happens in other people's lives. "I should have," "I could have," and "I would have" are all variations on the same theme. They postpone acceptance and necessary grieving. At times it's we ourselves who do the leaving. We can count it a success, not a failure, when we've had the courage to acknowledge the truth of an ending. Today, though I may go through some pain as I learn acceptance, I rejoice in the strength and clarity it gives me. ************************************************** ~ THE EYE OPENER ~ In your AA talks you may have the eloquence of a Patrick Henry, but if your AA work stops there, you are only fooling the new man temporarily. He will soon get wise to the fact that you are but a phonograph, nice to listen to but of no use to anyone beyond this one function. Beautiful sentiments need lovely actions or they have but little value. Lovely actions speak for themselves. ************************************************** ~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~ Wisdom Father of Light, You have promised To give wisdom generously To all who ask in faith. Please give me wisdom; Make me wise to know Your way for me, Wise to make good decisions, Wise to be useful to others, And wise to understand Your word. May Your Spirit give me wisdom That I may know Your will, That I may honor You And find pleasure in obeying You. ~ Author unknown ~ ************************************************* ~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~ WHAT IS "SEEKING THE KINGDOM"? Seek the kingdom of God, and his righteousness ; and all these things shall be added unto you (Matthew 6:33). The principle that Jesus expressed in these words is the basic law that underlies all answer to prayer. Many people know this in theory but are confused about putting it into practice. They think, “I will ignore this problem and think about God instead.” Here there is a subtle mistake; because they are really thinking of their problem as existing in one place, of God as existing in another, and of themselves as going in thought from the first place to the second place. This, of course, is by implication to reaffirm the existence of the problem in its own place, and such a belief will not heal. What we have to do is to seek the Kingdom in the very place where the trouble seems to be. We have to know that in Truth and reality it is nor there, because God is there. When we succeed in doing this, the difficulty disappears. ************************************************** ~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~ Sensitive Souls Great geniuses have the shortest biographies. Their cousins can tell you nothing about them. ~ James Thurber ~ In a college psychology class, I was required to read a book subtitled The Mental Institution as a Last Resort. The book's thesis was that many people in mental institutions are not crazy, but just more sensitive than most people in the society. The authors suggested that many mental patents are simply too finely strung to fit into the mainstream, and an institution is a safe place-similar to an ashram or monastery where they can be who they are without having to adapt to a society that is in many ways more insane than they are. Hilda Charlton noted that souls who are particularly fine-tuned emotionally, artistically, or spiritually are often unable to cope with the heaviness of the world, and so they turn to various addictions to escape. Alcoholics, drug addicts, and many mental patients are highly evolved souls who cannot find comfort, acceptance, or a forum for expression in their worldly circles, so they sedate their sense of homelessness with chemicals or insanity. Indeed, many great artists, musicians, thinkers, inventors, and visionaries have sought to take refuge in addiction or illusion. A Course in Miracles confirms that we do need to escape from the world we see, for it is not a place of truth or Godliness. But, the Course asserts, we will not find refuge if we follow the promptings of fear; if you must escape, then escape into truth. In the Hindu culture, holy men and women are revered and cared for by the society. Saints and mystics are not tested, prodded, poked, cross examined, rationalized, written off, and shunned as they are in the West. In that culture, genuine visionaries are supported to do their spiritual work while people care for their worldly needs and responsibilities. Let us honor our sensitivity and create a supportive space for talented souls to express our true self. I pray to create a world in which the gifts of God are respected and empowered. I express my artistic nature with courage and confidence. |
October 18
Step by Step Today, no waste of valuable time that should be spent on progressing in sobriety to fight an urge for “just one” drink. I already know the deception of “just one.” AA has armed us with the steps to dodge the bullet of temptation, and personal experience shows time and again the consequences if I give in. In the end, the temptation to drink “just one” is a simple choice, and that choice like any other has consequences – and I alone will be responsible to those consequences. They have taken too much from me already. Thus, the choice is simple: DON’T DRINK. Today, I don’t have time to deal with temptation or wondering if I can get away with “just one.” I can’t. More significantly, I don’t want to drink. Case closed. Today, I’ll focus my emotional energy on something more productive, like sobriety. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M. ************************************************** ~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~ GRANDIOSITY There are none too dumb for the Program, but many are too smart. ~ Anonymous ~ Most of us suffered from some degree of grandiosity. We had inflated egos, were self-centered, stubborn, impatient, head-strong, selfish, and pushy. We liked to think in terms of the "big picture." We liked big deals and big plans. We carried around a feeling that we knew everything, that we were God-like. If we don't reduce our grandiosity in recovery, we are looking for trouble. When we act like big shots, we only submit to the Program, we don't surrender. We favor negative thinking, hold back from inventories and making amends, make little effort at finding a Higher Power, avoid prayer, neglect finding a sponsor, don't read, and are bored at most meetings. Today, I'll remember that when I am a big shot and have grandiose thoughts, I don't listen, share, or get involved. ************************************************** ~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~ Man’s powers point to God, but they cannot understand Him. ~ Reinhold Niebuhr ~ Our best strengths and greatest powers are signs of God. We have been in trouble because we over-estimated our power to control more than we could. Now, on this spiritual path, we have turned to God, “as we understood” God. This phrase may make us think we have to define what this Higher Power is in our lives. It can be helpful to think about, but we also do well to accept the limits of our words and our definitions. Some guys say that they encounter God on a walk through the forest. Some have that experience in a church or temple. Some find God in every living creature. Most great spiritual traditions speak of God as being present everywhere and promise that we are never alone. The powerlessness we learn on this spiritual path includes the human impossibility to contain God in our understanding. To encounter God, we encounter a sense of awe that God exceeds all limits. Today I am moved and filled with awe by the spirit of God. ************************************************** ~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~ The world has more depth in autumn. So, it seems, does my soul. ~ Jane Nakken ~ The earth prepares to rest when autumn comes. Trees shed their leaves, flowers drop their blooms, grass grows more slowly. This can be likened to our own periods of quiet contemplation when we outgrow old ideas and prepare for new direction in our life. It’s good that we have resting periods. We can’t know where or how far we want to go if we haven’t taken time to measure how far we have come. The fall of the year is a good time to do another Fourth Step inventory. What’s the point of repeated inventories? Sponsors tell us that growth is never ending and that we can direct it best if we clearly know where we are right now. The only certain way of knowing that is through careful assessment of who we are today. Let’s stop and rest and contemplate our journey. Then let’s plan for the next leg. My quiet times will inspire my journey today. I will be prepared for a new direction if that feels right. ************************************************** ~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~ I am slowly accepting my illnesses Twelve months after my DUI and drug counseling, I still didn't believe I had a drug problem. It took a second DUI to convince me. Likewise, after several months of psychotherapy, I would not take my depression seriously. What finally changed my mind was crying uncontrollably and feeling suicidal. Now that I have finally accepted both my addiction and emotional illness, I have an idea about what took me so long. And yet, maybe I took just as much time as I needed—just long enough to feel bad enough to be willing to change. I trust that I won’t have to wait so long in the future. Today I will practice acceptance by allowing myself time to change. ************************************************* ~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~ He that is humble, ever shall have God to be his guide. ~ John Bunyan ~ We all know someone who is truly humble — someone whose inner calm we can feel, someone whose material, emotional, or spiritual generosity we may not trust at first. If the humility is authentic, it’s likely that person has moved through suffering in a way most of us have not. It isn’t that this person may have suffered more than we have but that he or she has moved through the pain — felt it, expressed it, and let go of it—rather than going around it, medicating it, denying it, or minimizing it. We may wish to become people like this, yet we fear it. By their very being, humble people challenge us to be present in our lives, much as animals are. A cat is always fully itself, but we may be only 30 or 80 percent ourselves at any given time. We cannot take lessons in humility. It is a quality that emerges in its own time during the course of our recovery. But as we become more authentic and more connected with ourselves, with others, and with God, humility follows. Today help me be present with myself and so learn what it means to be humble. ************************************************** ~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~ Just as despair can come to one only from other human beings, hope, too, can be given to one only by other human beings. ~ Elie Wiesel ~ Hope is an essential part of healing and recovery. Without hope, you would not be able to envision a better future. Without hope, you would not be able to feel a connection and unity within the fellowship of recovery. And without hope, you would have no assurance that you can escape from the imprisonment of your addiction. Hope thrives within a community of like-minded individuals. Hope is conveyed through the stories addicts tell. These stories all share a common theme: things got bad and things grew worse, leading to hopelessness and despair; but then things got better through the program, These are stories of hope and redemption that convey the power of belief in a better future. Hope can be developed by giving to others. You convey hope by showing them they are not alone and that their suffering and pain can be alleviated. Hope is also developed through choosing to be around positive people. Their ability to view life from an uplifting perspective can help you see that your problems are not insurmountable. Today I will breathe in hope from those around me and exhale any feelings of despair. ************************************************** ~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~ There is more to life than increasing its speed. ~ Mahatma Gandhi ~ We live in an age of instant coffee, one-minute managers, and same-day mail delivery. The speed of living seems to increase every year with improved methods of communication, travel, and manufacturing. Because of this we may feel our daily work in the program and the subtle changes in our behavior are not fast enough. How can we keep pace with the world if we're spending years on recovery? It is the quality of a thing that is important. Instant coffee is a great convenience, but brewed coffee tastes better. Driving in the fast lane all the way to a destination will get us there faster, but we won't enjoy much of the scenery we pass through. Life isn't a race won by the fastest. If we set a goal and don't attain it within the time frame we set, we do not fail, we readjust our schedule. Living to the fullest doesn't mean living in the fast lane. It means taking the scenic route, stopping often to appreciate the view, and sharing the ride. I can slow down my pace and appreciate the road I travel by taking my time and meeting fellow travelers. ************************************************** ~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~ Being moved by ideals Our new life is deeply moved by powerful ideals. Many of our pursuits fall apart and then we must regroup, perhaps many times, before our goals become sound again. But we must remember to keep our ideals in mind. We learn from our setbacks and know that they indicate we are reaching for and moving toward a perfect program and ideal spirituality. There is no one among us who is perfectly clean and sober. Working a good program requires no accolades, only high ideals. The speakers at our meetings are not saints or prophets but nameless people. They tell their stories and deliver their messages informally, yet better than if the event had been staged. Together our unknown names and our new lives emerge from the ruins, and we form a body of our Higher Power’s beautiful children. Do my actions reflect the highest ideals? Higher Power, when my ideals try my faith, let me know that nothing is too good to be true. The ideal I will strive toward today is God help me to stay clean and sober today! ************************************************** ~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~ It is a spiritual axiom that every time we are disturbed, no matter what the cause, there is something wrong with us. ~ TWELVE STEPS AND TWELYE TRADITIONS ~ Newcomer In reading about the Tenth Step, I get confused when I see the words "we were wrong." That word "wrong" again! I'm working to honor my feelings and build my self-esteem. I've learned in this program that I'm not to blame for everything. Sponsor The spot-check inventory isn't intended as a stick to beat ourselves with, any more than Step Four was It's a practical way to help us evaluate what's going on in the course of our day, to recognize what we ourselves can do to re-establish emotional balance. It reminds us that we have some control over our responses. For example, suppose the check I've been waiting for doesn't come in today's mail. I may have some anger to discharge or a momentary fear that I won't be able to send out my rent check on time. I may need to take a few minutes to vent my feelings. The feelings pass, and I go on to other things. In the old days of active addiction, I blamed everyone I could think of from the postal service to the landlord, for the way I was feeling. I usually felt justified in picking up my drug of choice—that was one way that my rage at being frustrated could be quieted. Step Ten reminds us not to get caught in the cycle of blaming others for the way we feel. Today, I abstain from blaming. If I'm upset, I practice the "three A’s": awareness, acceptance, and action. ************************************************** ~ THE EYE OPENER ~ The life of the alcoholic is very similar to a jigsaw puzzle. In our days of drinking, the whole of life appeared as simply as a jumbled mass of unrelated pieces, impossible to unscramble. In AA someone gave us the corner piece and from this we slowly and laboriously found one piece after another. Each piece that we fitted in made it easier to find the next piece. First we found understanding, then hope, then determination, then sobriety, then unselfishness, then love, then faith and finally God. All the pieces are in place finally, the picture makes sense and it is beautiful to behold. ************************************************** ~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~ Higher Power, I will tell You the truth until I can tell others, I will trust in You until I can trust in others, I will pray for Your will and not my own, I will not turn away from the addict who still suffers, I will pray for mercy and not praise, I will pray for humility and not righteousness, I will continue to turn my life over to You so I may be restored to greater sanity. ************************************************* ~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~ MENTAL DRUDGERY IS NOT PRAYER Expect more from your prayers. The power of your prayer depends upon the amount of faith that you yourself have in it. To pray in the spirit that "even if this prayer does not do any good at least it cannot do any harm," is not, really, to pray at all. Have enough faith in the love of God to believe that a short heartfelt prayer is just as good as a long one, Too long a session of prayer usually means that in your heart you really doubt the love of God, and think that a great deal of effort and toil will be necessary to move Him. Pray quietly and sincerely for a reasonable time—and then leave the matter, expecting success. O Lord , thou art my God; I will exalt thee , I will praise thy name; for thou hast done wonderful things; thy counsels of old are faithfulness and truth (Isaiah 25:1). ************************************************** ~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~ As Much As the Valet Every decision you make indicates what you believe you are worth. ~ A Course in Miracles ~ We pulled up to the Beverly Hills Hotel behind a line of luxury cars. My partner Charley handed the valet a $5 tip, and we went in for breakfast. The menu, like many haut cuisine restaurants, had no prices printed. Charley placed his order and then asked the waiter, "How much would a side order of bacon cost?" "Five dollars," answered the man. Charley thought for a moment, and then answered, "I guess I'll pass." After the waiter left, I could see that Charley really wanted the bacon. "Go ahead, get the bacon!" I encouraged him. "You're right," he answered, and called the waiter to make the order. Then a stunned look washed over Charley's face as he told me, "I just realized something very profound: I thought nothing of giving the valet a $5 tip—that's just what is done here. But when it came to feeding myself some food I enjoy, I had a hard time doing it. I wasn't even loving myself as much as the car attendant. " The next time you're faced with a choice about taking care of yourself, ask yourself, "Would I give this gift to another person if I could?" Most likely, you would feel very blessed and joyful to nurture someone in a way they would love. Then go ahead and bestow yourself with the same blessing. God rejoices just as much when you give to yourself as when you give to another. It's not selfish to love or pamper yourself—it's a holy opportunity to celebrate what you truly deserve. Open your heart to yourself as much as you would to others, and you will find the meaning of true love. Show me how to love myself as You love me. I give myself all the good I can imagine. |
October 19
Step by Step Today, if alcohol is “cunning and baffling,” its end product – alcoholism – is mysterious because it took alcoholism guided me to a program to begin my physical, spiritual and emotional recovery. And without going through the deepest of gutters, the darkest of nights and the sickest of physical and emotional conditions, I may never have emerged from that life of being half-dead and half-alive to being, now, fully alive. In a bizarre osmosis, if I cannot be grateful, I must at least not deny, reject or forget those days of my drinking because they brought me to a place where the healing begins. Today, I respect and am almost grateful for the experience of alcoholism because it has brought me to where I am – here. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M. ************************************************** ~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~ FAULT-FINDING I'm slipping when I begin taking another person's inventory, not mine. ~ Anonymous ~ It seems so much easier to live someone else's life than it is to live our own. We can see someone else's faults much more clearly than our own. We can tell someone else how to correct a character defect, and not work on our own. It is easier to take someone else's inventory than it is to take our own. These are all clues to why we have had so much trouble in our lives. These things are all danger signs. Our very best thinking got us into this Fellowship. Most of us earned our seats around the table by totally mismanaging the affairs of our lives. We have enough on our plates trying to sort out the will of our Higher Power in our own lives. We have no business trying to run anyone else's. If I persist in trying to live another person's life, I am likely to stop my spiritual progress. Let me remember to keep tabs on my own faults and let others take care of their own. ************************************************** ~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~ Do, or do not. There is no "try.” ~ Yoda, in The Empire Strikes Back ~ Trying is what we do when we aren’t willing to make a commitment. We say, “I’ll try,” when our heart isn’t ready to give a full effort. It’s what we say when we can’t admit that our resolve is wimpy. And it’s the He that will defeat us. Some challenges we face can’t be conquered simply by saying, “I will do it.” But we can choose to do something that will help. We can’t move the mountain but we can pick up some rocks. We can engage with the problem and get to know it better. Every action we take leads somewhere and sets us up for the next action. We even learn from our mistakes and that moves us closer to achieving our goal. Today I will not just “try”, I will do something to move toward my goal. ************************************************** ~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~ Creativity and self-expression are the keys which open the door to my soul. ~ Betty MacDonald ~ Why do we find it so hard to believe that we are creative and talented? Generally we look upon “artists” as being far different from us. When we were young, we were encouraged to be ordinary, “like everyone else.” Those who dared to see the world differently were weird. Thus our creative juices lay untapped. But every spirit, by its very nature, is creative and talent-filled. Fortunately, the well of our creative spirits hasn’t run dry. We can prime the pump and bring them bubbling to the surface. The first step is to acknowledge our creative potential. The real gift of this journey is that hope has been inspired in us. We hear the stories of how others have changed and tapped into their creativity. We understand it can happen to us too. Being willing to have my talents revealed is necessary for it to happen. I will work on willingness today. ************************************************** ~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~ I am changing by letting go By going into treatment, I temporarily let go of my freedom and my home. I let go of time and money. In treatment I gave up old habits, old ways of thinking. I admitted my dual disorder and started to change my life. And in return for my willingness and effort, I have gained true freedom—freedom from addiction and from the symptoms and other effects of my psychiatric illness. In return, I have invested in an abstinent and stable future. I am learning new ways to cope, healthy ways to take care of myself. By admitting my dual disorder, I am changing my life. To help me learn from my thinking and my process of growth, I will keep a recovery journal. ************************************************* ~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~ Don’t just do something, stand there! ~ Lewis Carroll ~ We used to spend all our time running around with no time, it seemed, for the important things. Our addiction kept us in this state of turmoil and we didn’t have time for the most important thing of all — our own lives. In reality, this frenzy of activity was an energy-consuming tactic that let us avoid awareness of our addiction. Unlike healthy physical activity, it drained us of strength, but gave back nothing in return. Now we have time to devote to ourselves. This means spending quiet time rewarding ourselves for tasks well done. It also means we have time for physical activity which strengthens and invigorates us — play time. We might not feel we’re ready to take on a regular program of jogging or swimming, but we can take time out each day for a brisk walk. The new energy we gain combines with an increase in self-esteem to make us even more ready to take on new challenges. Our new feeling of well-being prepares us emotionally, as well as physically, for each new day. And our sense of accomplishment at making this healthy change lays the stepping stones for more growth. Today let me pay attention to my need for physical activity and do at least one thing to satisfy that need. ************************************************** ~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~ There is no doubt that running away on a fresh, blue morning can be exhilarating. ~ Jean Rhys ~ Think of how a cat or dog awakens from sleep. It will rise up, perhaps give its body a good shake, and then lower its front and engage in a full stretch to its body. Sometimes you may even hear it emit a little grunt of pleasure. While not everyone can leap out of bed at the first sound of the alarm, there are ways you can transform your first moments of awakening so that they benefit you for the rest of the day. Begin with a full-body stretch. Do more than just reach for the ceiling or bend over and touch your toes. Wiggle and shake every part of your body to loosen up your muscles. As you do this, take in deep breaths and slowly release them. Bring in oxygen to your brain and muscles to restore your energy. And then offer a simple prayer. Thank your Higher Power for the gift of a new day. Convey your openness to whatever the day holds in store for you. Ask that you be given the strength to meet all of its challenges. By this time you will be more awake and alert, ready to take on the day! I will begin my day with a morning routine that will energize me. ************************************************** ~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~ Lo! in the middle of the wood, The folded leaf is wooed from out the bud. . . . With winds upon the branch, and there Grows green and broad, and takes no care. ~ Alfred, Lord Tennyson ~ What does it take for us to be drawn out of ourselves? So many of us have retreated inwardly and are afraid to open up in social situations. We may refuse invitations to gatherings, may be afraid to meet new people, and may want to remain in uncomfortable but stable situations. When a plant grows a new leaf, we see evidence of a shoot. Then we see the leaf grow longer, curled tight like a cigar. Finally, with nourishment and safety, it begins to unfurl. This leaf supports new life, and the healthy plant grows. We, too, are like that new leaf. As we grow, we learn there are environments where we can open up and be safe. It's okay to close up when there are people or situations around us that are unhealthy. But we need not fear everybody or everything. We can be safe. We can proudly unfurl ourselves for all to see. Am I withdrawn because of fear? Tonight I can find a safe person, place, or thing and open myself up in safety. ************************************************** ~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~ Becoming reasonable Being ungrateful and feeling sorry for our-selves is a great self-destroyer. Often we feel that we know all the reasons to be grateful and to not feel sorry for ourselves, but we don’t know how to be reasonable about our feelings. Being reasonable is not a strong virtue of addicts. Quite often we find we have to pray for reasonableness, then simply cling to the program and the fellowship when feelings of ungratefulness overtake us. Am I a more reasonable person than I was before? Higher Power, even though I know all the reasons, I am not always reasonable. Help me to become more reasonable. Today I will try to be reasonable about God help me to stay clean and sober today! ************************************************** ~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~ We use great plainness of speech. ~ SAINT PAUL TO THE CORINTHIANS ~ Newcomer I made a call to someone I'd previously said yes to when I'd really wanted to say no. Without making a big deal out of it, over apologizing and making up elaborate excuses, I just told the truth. I said, "I'm sorry to have to change plans, but after giving it some more thought, I realized that I need time to finish a project I've been putting off. Let's get together another time." My friend was disappointed, but not devastated. She wished me luck with the project. I felt such relief after this phone call. Instead of being preoccupied by nagging feelings of obligation and wrong-doing, I have energy to do what I need to do and to enjoy myself with a clear conscience. Sponsor This is good Tenth Step work you've been doing. It sounds to me as if you've begun developing greater self-trust and an intuitive sense of how to handle situations with people. Today, I don't let difficulties build up. I act promptly to keep my relationships with others clear and in balance. ************************************************** ~ THE EYE OPENER ~ Bad luck is not often just a series of unhappy events that just happened. Our bad luck is usually the result of our ignorance, carelessness or indifference. Our experience with bad luck should make us more careful and then good luck can be expected to follow in consequence. It was your bad luck that brought you to AA; it was your good luck that you profited by it. ************************************************** ~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~ Farther Along Tempted and tried, we're often made to wonder Why it should be like this all day long, While there are other addicts using among us, Never paying consequences though in the wrong Farther along we'll know all about it; Farther along we'll understand why. Cheer up my fellow travelers; Live in the sunshine. We'll understand it all, by and by. Sometimes I wonder why I must struggle, Go in the rain, the cold, and the snow When there are many living in comfort Giving no heed to all I can do. Faithful till death, said our loving Master; Short is our time to labor and wait; Then will our toiling seem to be nothing When we shall pass the heavenly gate. Farther along we'll know all about it; Farther along we'll understand why. Cheer up my brother; Live in the sunshine. We'll understand it all, by and by. ~ Adapted from a traditional American hymn, author unknown ~ ************************************************* ~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~ PRAYER IS ALWAYS THE ANSWER Prayer is always the solution. No matter what kind of difficulty may be facing you, no matter how complicated your problem may seem—prayer can solve it. Of course you will also take whatever practical steps seem to be indicated, and if you do not know what steps to take, prayer will show you. Prayer is constantly bringing about the seemingly impossible, and there is no conceivable problem that has not at some time been solved by prayer. When we remember that God really is omnipotent, untrammelled by what we call time or space or matter, or the vagaries of human nature, it is easy to see that there can be no limit to the power of prayer. You can pray about a problem and solve it at any stage, but of course the earlier you tackle it the easier will your work be. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much (James 5:16). ************************************************** ~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~ All in the Timing To know how to wait is the great secret of success. ~ De Maistre ~ Do you ever have days or weeks when nothing seems to come together? The people you are looking for are out of town, the product you ordered is delayed, and you get everyone's answering machine. Finally, you throw your hands up and declare, "I give up—I'm going to a movie!" That may indeed be the best strategy, for the universe is giving you a message that this is not the right time to try to make anything happen. It may be the perfect time for you to step back and nurture your spirit. If you pay attention to the cycles of your experience, you can make them work for you, rather than letting them overwhelm you. Periods of nothing coming together are often followed by periods of everything coming together. After a week or month of frustrating attempts to make things happen, suddenly everything clicks; everyone calls back the same day, business deals that were on hold fall into place, and everything that was broken gets fixed. It's as if the universe was laying back to build up momentum for a huge leap forward. Don't be discouraged. If you've done all you can to make something happen, and nothing seems to be coming of it, get the hint. Let go. Turn it over to God. Do something else more rewarding or fun. It's all in the timing. Help me attune to Your divine rhythm. Let me find Your will in time. I dance with life, stretching and resting in rhythm with the universe. |
October 20
Step by Step Today, step outside myself if I have retreated inward because of some problem or emotion that I haven’t confronted. And, instead, I will extend my hand to someone in need. Service to others is a fundamental and integral component of recovery and, by seeking out and offering someone who needs my help, I may understand that my own burden is not as heavy as another person’s. To permit some problem to hold me hostage within myself is empowering that problem and forcing me to ignore the needs of both myself and someone else. On a less altruistic level, the weight of another person’s burdens may humble me enough to realize that my own burdens may not be as heavy as I think. Today, I step outside myself and offer my help to someone who needs and wants it. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M. ************************************************** ~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~ POSITIVE OUTLOOK Flying is largely a matter of having the right outlook. ~ E.B. White ~ We may not make it if we don't have the outlook that success is within our reach if we practice the principles of our Program. Nobody believed that it would ever be possible for man to fly. Then the Wright brothers proved that it could be done. What was said to be impossible was there to be achieved. Naturalists have proved for centuries that the bumblebee technically can't fly. But the bumblebee doesn't know that, so it continues to amaze them by flying. A positive outlook is necessary if we are to make our Program "fly." When we lose that positive outlook, we lose hope and crash. Optimism means letting go of worry about the future. The future is in the hands of our Higher Power, and there's no better place for it to be. With a positive outlook, I can accomplish success in my recovery Program. Without it, I'm going nowhere. ************************************************** ~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~ Everything becomes a little different as soon as it is spoken out loud. ~ Hermann Hesse ~ Many of us find out what we really think when we start talking. Putting ideas into words is sometimes hard to do, but when we hear ourselves speak, we realize what we have had on our minds. It’s an important way to go deeper into knowing ourselves. Other times we may have thoughts on our minds, but we first connect with the feelings when we say them to another person. We are social animals and talking is a crucial part of our humanity. How often do we hear from our partners that we don’t talk to them? Maybe they tell us that we “never” talk about our feelings. They love us and crave the connection that talking brings. As we become more at peace with ourselves, we can learn to express more. It takes practice, and we might need to push ourselves to put things into words, but we get even more out of it than our listeners do. Today I will push myself to talk to my trusted friends and my partner. ************************************************** ~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~ Grace is when we notice the near-misses we survived instead of the wishes that didn’t come true. ~ Nancy Hull-Most ~ We all have stories about the harrowing past: the times we woke up not knowing where we were, the open prescription bottle we couldn’t remember emptying, the bashed-in fender, or the open front door of our home. How did we get from there to here? And why? “There but for the grace of God . . is a saying that we come to appreciate when our mind finally clears. We were saved, many times. We have all read about people who weren’t as lucky as we were. Curiously we wonder, Why me? Perhaps we should ponder, instead, what we can do with our lives now that we’re here. We have a unique contribution to make to our loved ones, or we wouldn’t have “escaped.” The next step is to listen to our inner voice for guidance. We have a job to do. It’s time to get on with it. It’s no accident that I am here. I may not know what my job is today, but God will help me understand. ************************************************** ~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~ I am practicing acceptance With my dual disorder, sometimes I feel that the rest of the world is passing me by. Right now I can only work part-time and I'm not happy with that. I often feel like I'm wasting my time. I live by myself in a studio apartment. I can't drive, so I have to take the bus when I go anywhere. At times like this I focus on the idea that maybe my higher power has chosen a different path for me. I suspect the most important thing in my life these days is not career or family. It's recovery. By staying abstinent and stable, I will be on my path and all will be well. I will pray the Serenity Prayer and review my list of assets (from Step Four). ************************************************* ~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~ Ye have many strings to your bow. ~ John Heywood ~ Our recovery depends on our Twelve Step program and the principles we are learning. But we also need recreation and outside interests to stimulate our creativity and personal growth. Most of us can remember beloved hobbies, crafts, and sports we enjoyed in childhood. For some of us, years have gone by since we last spent time on those interests. Now, we’re granted a second chance to rediscover those pastimes that so delighted us as children. Many of them were inexpensive, costing more in creativity than cash — perfect for early recovery when finances are often tight. Outside interests can give our lives a new dimension of enjoyment. And whether we return to an old interest or find new ones, we need only please ourselves. A hobby can help us forget our troubles for a few minutes or a few hours as we give ourselves some simple, wholesome fun. Today let me think of how I can enjoy my spare time. ************************************************** ~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~ I’ve been so lonely for long periods of my life that if a rat walked in I would have welcomed it. ~ Louise Nevelson ~ There is a story about an old donkey that fell into an abandoned well. Many heard the donkey’s cries and raced to the well. The donkey’s owner assessed the situation and realized it could not be rescued. The animal was old and had lived a long life, and the well no longer produced water, so the man decided to bury the donkey in the well. He asked the others to help him. They grabbed shovels and began tossing dirt into the well. At first the donkey brayed loudly, but after a short while, the braying ceased, Its owner peered in and saw that as the dirt piled onto the donkey, the donkey shook off the dirt and stepped up on the dirt below it. The well began to fill with dirt and, as the donkey stepped on the ever-growing pile, came closer to the top of the well. Energized by this turn of events, the people began to shovel dirt furiously into the well, bringing the donkey closer to the top and to its safe escape. Today I will use my own strengths as well as the strength of the fellowship to succeed. ************************************************** ~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~ Happiness grows in our own firesides and is not to be picked in strangers' gardens. ~ Douglas Jerrold ~ The old saying "The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence" is an appropriate sentiment for envious people. When we look at another couple or another family, we may only see the good points. We may look for the same good points in our relationships and families and not find them. We then conclude our happiness, security, and contentment can only occur if we have what others have. In an old comedy routine, a restaurant customer points to another diner and says to the waiter, "I'll have what she's having." The waiter immediately takes the half-eaten food from the other diner and gives it to him. However, we can't take the good things that others have, nor can we share them. We can only learn from them, making things better in our relationships and families. Only we can make things good. Have I been envious of other people and what they have? Tonight I can discover what good I'd like to have in my life. Then I can take steps to bring this good from within me. ************************************************** ~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~ Removing the defects Ralph Waldo Emerson once wrote, “No change of circumstances can repair a defect of character.” For us, this is the absolute truth. If we are impossible to live with, get-ting another spouse will not change our dis-agreeableness. If we constantly bum from friends, changing friends will not make us less of a bum. If we are inconsiderate to our neighbors, moving to another state will not make us more considerate. But working our character-defect Steps can remove our undesirable characteristics. In fact, working these Steps will help us want to give up our faults. Am I rid of all my defects of character? Higher Power, help me realize that the only way to change my character defects is to change my character defects. The defects I will work on today are God help me to stay clean and sober today! ************************************************** ~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~ Though my mouth be dumb, my heart shall thank you. ~ NICHOLAS ROWE ~ Newcomer I've been thinking about some of the things I said to you when I was newer in recovery. I wonder how you put up with me I was so self-absorbed, and I took for granted that you'd be there for me each day. Sponsor Your questions help me to go deeper in my own reading and thinking about the Steps; to stay honest, I've had to deal with some issues of my own that I'd been procrastinating about in recovery. Listening to your experiences reminds me of my own. You help me to stay mindful of my past of active addiction-to remember what got me here, and to feel the importance and the joy of my own recovery. Sponsoring you has given me an opportunity to show up for another person, to be there consistently, yet honor my need for boundaries-there's such a thing as being too helpful, and that's something I've been getting practice dealing with. I have the same addiction you do, and my issues aren't very different from yours. Your trust is a gift. Thank you. Today, I feel gratitude for my ability to give and to receive trust in a relationship with another recovering person. ************************************************** ~ THE EYE OPENER ~ For a person who knew almost everything just a few years back, and who now knows more than he did then, it is indeed strange to have had that consciousness of just beginning to learn the most elementary facts of living. ************************************************** ~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~ Finding Home Dear God, help me think of . . . Stepping on shore, and finding it Heaven! Of taking a hand, and finding it God's hand. Of breathing new air and finding it celestial air. Of feeling invigorated, and finding it immortality. Of passing from storm and tempest to an unbroken calm. Of waking up, and finding it Home. ~ Author unknown ~ ************************************************* ~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~ THE SPIRITUAL BASIS One is either on the Spiritual Basis or he is not, for there is no halfway house in this. You are on the Spiritual Basis: If you definitely give all power to God, in the most literal, practical, and matter of fact sense of the phrase. If you really believe that prayer can do anything. If you really believe that your happiness and well-being are vitally important in the eyes of God. If you realize that whatever ideas and beliefs you accept must be expressed in your surroundings, and in all your relationships and activities. If you try to see the Presence of God everywhere. If, in short, you understand that you are in a mental universe, that things are thoughts, and that one's life history is fundamentally the expression of his belief about God. Draw nigh to God, and he will draw nigh to you (James 4:8 ). ************************************************** ~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~ The Inside Story The only true measure of success is happiness. ~ Anonymous ~ One of the most difficult things I have ever had to do was to walk into the college class that I was co-teaching and inform the students that our senior instructor had committed suicide. My task was especially onerous in light of the fact that the course was a self-improvement class for adults who were seeking motivation to get back into the job market. Dr. Doughty was a brilliant, personable, and vital man who had won the respect and appreciation of many; no one had any clue that he was so unhappy that he would take his own life. The face that many successful people present to the world is a facade. Behind the smiles, charm, and bravado of many famous and admired people, there lies a great emptiness and pain. It is only when there is a tragedy such as a suicide, a violent crime, or a painful divorce that their inner life becomes obvious to the world. Do not be fooled by appearances. The presentations of the world are deceptive. Many people in my seminars have described the glamorous lives they lived as successful business people or entertainers, followed by horror stories of how they were dying inside. If you are smiling at the world but crying inside, you must begin to tell the truth about your experience. Share your real feelings with a friend or counselor, and make a commitment that you will not settle for a double life. Pray to be released from any activities that dishonor your spirit or your integrity. Seek the company of people who are genuinely happy. The happiest are those who have nothing to prove or protect. I thoroughly enjoy "what you see is what you get” people. God created each of us in magnificent beauty. Every human being has enormous gifts to share and bless the world, if we will only be who we are instead of who we are supposed to be. Just be yourself. I want to live from my heart. Help me to be me, without hiding or protection. What I am is good enough. |
October 21
Step by Step Today, extend gratitude but withhold pride on a day that greeted me sober and saw me through doing what is expected of me – expected of the program, expected of the responsibilities to sobriety, and expected of myself. I need not be bogged down with anything from my drinking past – shame, remorse, regret, grandiosity, egoism, anger, depression, or anything else that I could find to keep myself in the gutter. Today, if I awakened sober and proceed through the day doing what is expected of me and do it with integrity and ethics and then go to sleep remembering all that I said and did, then today will be good. I can be grateful for that seemingly simple achievement and, today, it is enough. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M. ************************************************** ~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~ HEALTHY PRIDE The only person keeping us from having self-worth is ourselves. ~ Anonymous ~ Having healthy pride in our accomplishments in recovery is fine as long as it is coupled with gratitude and humility. As long as we don't settle for an inferior quality of recovery and continue to strive for the best, that kind of pride will not cause harm. However, pride out of control is dangerous. Too many are certain they "wrote the book." They take false pride in their accomplishments and feel they have nothing left to learn. They are eager to tell everyone how much they know. This is a sure way of closing a mind that desperately needs to be wide open. This kind of pride has turned into arrogance that causes many people to "turn off." False pride and settling for inferiority will accomplish nothing. I no longer choose to have low self-worth. ************************************************** ~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~ All the works of God proceed slowly and in pain; hut then> their roots are the sturdier and their flowering the lovelier. ~ Theresa Gerhardinger ~ Life is difficult. No one gets through life without some struggle and pain. But we men in recovery know that our problems and struggles were the lessons that shaped us when we were willing to learn. Naturally we become impatient and want to get past the difficulties faster. We look at our neighbors who appear to have easier lives—and maybe some of them do right now. But we have our own path to walk and we must walk in our own footsteps, not someone else’s. If we had never confronted problems and pain, we would have nothing to fall back on for the next part of our life. Our transformation has already progressed. Because we keep coming back to this program and follow its guidance one day at a time, the days quickly turn into months and the months into years and our roots grow stronger. I will live today with patience and follow the guidance that my program gives me as my transformation continues. ************************************************** ~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~ Recovery leads to self-knowledge, love, and joy. Addiction leads to self-loathing, fear, and isolation. The choice is mine. ~ Sarah Desmond ~ Having decided on a clean and sober life gives us opportunities we’d never have imagined. We’re learning how to love ourselves and appreciate other people. We’re learning that a Higher Power guides and protects us. No one makes our decisions for us. We are free to go back to the old life any time we want to. Each day offers us a clean slate. We fill it in according to the principles we live by. Making healthy choices regarding these twenty-four hours becomes easier as we accumulate a series of healthy days. Occasionally we wonder why we chose a fearful, isolated life. Recovery was always available to us. We weren’t ready for it, however, and it’s far more productive to trust that we came to this program when the time was right. I choose how I live each day. Understanding that makes the right choice more obvious. ************************************************** ~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~ I need to know the difference between street drugs and medication When my psychiatrist first wanted to help me by prescribing a medication for my emotional illness, I said absolutely not. I told him I was in recovery from chemical dependency and would take no mood-altering chemicals. I said I was afraid of relapsing to my addiction. In a word, I couldn't yet trust him. So I talked with someone I did trust, my dual recovery sponsor. From her I learned that psychiatric medication is rarely addictive. And it differs from street drugs in several other ways: it is designed for specific illnesses, given in strict dosages, and available only through a doctor and a pharmacy. Once I understood the difference, I was able to trust my doctor with my dual illness. I could accept his treatment recommendations, and make progress in recovery. I will make a list of the people I've come to trust since I began recovery. ************************************************* ~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~ You can see farther in the dark than in the day. ~ Anonymous ~ Looking back over our lives, we can often see patches of light and dark, clusters of events that we remember as good times or bad. During the dark days we probably had little faith in silver linings, little belief that tragedy could yield unexpected blessings. In fact, we may have been angry at anyone who suggested to us to look for the good side. And when we were showered with blessings — even if they were right in our face — we probably couldn’t see them for what they were. We simply didn’t have the tools. All we could do was keep alert for the down side, and spend so much attention looking for pitfalls that we overlooked the good. But today it’s different. When we look back, the past is not so shadowy as it once was. There were moments of clarity and focus, especially during the dark days. One of those moments was probably the beginning of our recovery, the moment we began to realize we could no longer live like we had, the moment we began to choose life over death. We are continuing to choose life every day in recovery, and by this choice we are creating a light even in our darkest days. Today let me find the light in my darkness. Help me believe that it’s there. ************************************************** ~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~ Shall I give you my recipe for happiness? I find everything useful and nothing indispensable. I find everything wonderful and nothing miraculous. ~ Norman Douglas ~ Too often you may think that your happiness comes from people, places, or things. You may think that if you won the heart of someone you love, moved to a different location, or had everything you wanted, you would truly be happy. But what happens if you do not get who, what, or where you want? Does this mean you must be resigned to a lifetime of unhappiness because the conditions of your happiness have not been met? Happiness does not come from an object, a person, or place. Nor does it come from endless striving or attempting to capture it like a pot of gold at the end of a rainbow. Rather, happiness comes from following your true purpose and passion. It is being committed to staying on the path you have chosen. It is enjoying the journey and not caring whether or when the path will end. Just being on the path that is right for you is enough to bring happiness. Happiness comes from the path I have chosen and the progress I make. ************************************************** ~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~ Life is made up of sobs, sniffles, and smiles, with sniffles predominating. ~ O. Henry ~ The balance in life places us between happiness and sadness. Life can't always be ecstatically happy and free from woe, just as it isn't always miserably unhappy. Somewhere in the middle is a gray area where neither smiles nor sobs predominate. Living life on its terms means accepting the events life brings without overreacting with ecstasy or depression. Acceptance sometimes means we may not feel happy and we may not feel sad—we may just feel. This is the middle ground of feeling that isn’t high or low—it seems indefinable. We don't always have to feel great. Sometimes we can just feel okay. Accepting that middle-of-the-road feeling and not trying to analyze it or define it gives us the freedom to have gray are s in our lives. And sometimes it is the gray area that keeps us from bouncing off walls or riding an emotional roller coaster. Accepting the gray area can give us sanity. Tonight I can find the gray area in my life and realize not everything has to be good or bad—sometimes it can just be. ************************************************** ~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~ Expressing good Often we find ourselves thinking in terms of completing tasks rather than of expressing good. We view interruptions as frustrating delays, when they can be opportunities to glorify our Higher Power. Instead of saying, “How much can I accomplish today?” try restating your goal as, “How much good can I express today?” In expressing good, we accomplish much. Our primary task each day is to express the nature of Infinite Spirit. We can consider a day to be fruitful if its spiritual demands have been perceived and fulfilled. Responding to setbacks with peace and love is much easier when we know that our main job in this life is to express good. How much good have I expressed today? Higher Power, help me to remember throughout this day that no task or plan is more important than expressing your love. Today I will express good by God help me to stay clean and sober today! ************************************************** ~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~ Any musician who says he is playing better on tea, the needle, or when he is juiced is a plain straight liar. ~ CHARLIE PARKER ~ Newcomer In spite of everything I've been learning about addiction since coming into recovery I still have an image of artists, musicians, and other creative people as exceptions, as people outside the norm. Some part of me wonders if the ones who drink or use drugs would still be able to do what they do sober. Sponsor If you take a good look around at a meeting, you'll find a great many creative people. Listening to them tell their stories has convinced me that addiction got in the way more than it helped. My own myth of the creative vision inspired by drugs has fallen apart as I've heard writers, musicians, and painters tell how, when they were active in their addictions, they lacked the will and attention span to write, make music, or paint. Those who've always done their creative work while using an addictive substance need time in recovery before they are able to create with ease and pleasure again. We crave the experience of heightened perception and spiritual release that addictive substances and behaviors once provided. We sometimes want to crack open our shells, to forget what others think, to be our spontaneous, unedited selves. We need to explore new ways to let the hidden parts of ourselves out into the light, to allow ourselves the freedom to dance with our demons and angels. Today, I shed some of my inhibition and allow more of my real self to come out. ************************************************** ~ THE EYE OPENER ~ One day, not too long ago, you lost everything in the world you held dear, then a man sat down with you and he gave you friendship, understanding, faith, hope, courage and opportunity. Have you ever realized the great value of what this man gave you? These were the tools with which you made a new and better life. Someone did this for you, so "go and do thou likewise." ************************************************** ~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~ Release Hurt, Anger, Resentment God of Reason, I am willing to release all feelings of hurt and anger and resentment. Help me know true forgiveness and see each person as part of You. Let my words and my actions serve only to honor You. May my honest and positive action heal and comfort and harmonize my life and the lives of those around me. Thank You, God. ~ Adapted, author unknown ~ ************************************************* ~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~ WHEN GOD DOES NOT ACT We all believe that the love of God is invincible. We all believe that His intelligence, His knowledge, and His power are infinite. We all believe that God cares for us to a degree beyond imagining, and that each one of us is equally precious in His sight. Yet, in many cases healing and harmony do not follow from this knowledge. Why is this? In more cases it is because we have forgotten that these qualities have to be embodied in ourselves before they can appear in our lives. To know of them as existing in God is not sufficient. We must be seeking to express them in our personal lives before they can do anything for us. The only way to know God is to seek to express Him in our lives. It is a good thing to give thanks unto the Lord . . . to show forth thy lovingkindness in the morning, and thy faithfulness every night (Psalm 92:1-2) ************************************************** ~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~ Drive It There is nothing you need to do first to be enlightened. ~ Thadeus Golas ~ On a billboard, I saw a marvelous Lexus advertisement: Don't pursue perfection-Drive it. Now there is a powerful affirmation for mastering life! Many of us have gotten caught up in the game of seeking. We attend seminars, read books, sit at the feet of gurus, get psychic readings, and do all manner of therapies, processes, and initiations, all the while identifying ourselves as students on the path of truth. But we get more of whatever we identify with. As long as we see ourselves as students, that is all we shall be. There comes a point at which we must identify with our wholeness rather than the part that is striving. Learning and growth will always occur, but behind all of the external unfoldment, we are full. Imagine that all of your trying, seeking, and striving has been completed. Imagine that you have within you all the awareness and tools you need to live a life of joy, creativity, success, and love. Imagine that you don't have to pass any more tests or prove anything to anyone. Imagine that you don't have to earn the love or favor of God. Imagine that you have the abilities and credentials to offer healing and support to others. These imaginings are much closer to the truth than the imaginings that you are broken, wounded, or needy. Jesus said, "I am the way, the truth, and the life." If you recognize who you are, you can make this statement with equal authority. Practice being enlightened. It is the truth about you. I am ready to live my wholeness. Shine through me that I may bless myself and the world. I am the light of the world. I let it radiate in full splendor. |
October 22
Step by Step “The classification of alcoholics seems most difficult …There are, of course, the psychopaths who are emotionally unstable. …They are always ‘going on the wagon for keeps.’ They are over-remorseful and make many resolutions, but never a decision. “There is the type of man who is unwilling to admit that he cannot take a drink. He plans various ways of drinking. He changes his brand or his environment. There is the type who always believes that after being entirely free from alcohol for a period of time he can take a drink without danger. There is the manic-depressive type, who is, perhaps, the least understood by his friends … “Then there are types entirely normal in every respect except in the effect alcohol has upon them. They are often able, intelligent, friendly people. “All these, and many others, have one symptom in common: they cannot start drinking without developing the phenomenon of craving.” – Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, “The Doctor’s Opinion,” p xxviii. Today, no wasting time figuring out in what “classification” of drinking I fit because, in the end, the common denominator for everyone is that we cannot now or ever drink responsibly. If I accept it as absolute truth and have surrendered to Step One, I can begin the work toward recovery. If I have continue to deny the reality that I can never drink again, I cannot set out on the journey toward sobriety because I have not admitted my powerlessness over alcohol. And if the medical opinion here is on the mark – that drinking is the trigger to the “phenomenon of craving” – the solution to quenching the craving is simple: don’t drink. Keep it simple! And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M. ************************************************** ~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~ BEING HUMBLE Humility is not thinking less of yourself, but thinking of yourself less. ~ Anonymous ~ Humility was confusing to us when we were new to the Program. Our first reaction was to think we were supposed to accept anything that came our way, however humiliating. But true humility doesn't mean a meek surrender to an ugly, destructive way of life. It means surrender to the will of our Higher Power. "Humility" and "humiliation" are entirely different things. Being humble is being teachable. Humility opens us to growth in all other helpful ways of living a healthy and productive life. Through humility, we gain more faith, trust, hope, helpfulness, forgiveness, charity, and the ability to freely care and share. The simple practice of gratitude, listening, and sharing help us cut through grandiosity and leads us toward growth in humility. When I practice humility, I am growing in strength and making spiritual progress. ************************************************** ~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~ The greatest of all arts is the art of living together. ~ William Lyon Phelps ~ What is this thing called intimacy? It is letting oneself be seen and known to someone who is paying attention. We all want intimacy and we often don’t really know what it is. We confuse sex with intimacy. Many of us have sought the pleasure and excitement of sexual passion as the fast road to intimacy. Many of us focus on what we are looking for in a partner without looking at what we offer as a partner. True, rewarding, and deep intimacy comes in letting ourselves be known. Sex itself is never more erotic and passionate than when we are emotionally open and honest. That doesn’t mean we have license to be a jerk. We can be open and honest, and genuinely put ourselves in someone else’s hands, without dumping our disrespectful or hurtful feelings on the other person. When we seek intimacy, the straight line to get there is to let ourselves be known. Today I will let my feelings and my history be known to the one I seek intimacy with. ************************************************** ~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~ I didn’t realize until recently that the emptiness inside was gone. It started to dissipate when I began cultivating a relationship with God. ~ Cathy Stone ~ We spent our lives trying to fill the emptiness inside. We looked to drugs or food or relationships. For brief spells we may have felt filled up, but in the early morning hours the fear and loneliness generally returned. Why hadn’t we learned about the hope that comes from having a relationship with God? Everything looks different to us when we include a caring Higher Power in our picture. The terror dissipates when God is present. The torment over what decision to make is gone when God is consulted. Expanding our perspective to embrace the reality of God’s existence changes even the tiniest details in our lives. What a wonderful gift we have in this relationship with God. Our worries are gone, if we want them to be. Our emptiness is filled, if we want it to be. Our joy is complete, if we are ready. My relationship with God will answer all my questions today. ************************************************** ~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~ I can handle my symptoms I can't stand it when I get this tension, this tightness, this buzz in my body. I can't settle down. What's happening to me? Why am I feeling this way? I'm sober now. What did I do to deserve this? I want this pain to stop. As painful as the tension is, however, I know I can handle it. I can handle it because I'm not drinking over it, I'm not adding fuel to the fire. I can handle this attack because I'm not getting anxious about my anxiety. I am thinking clearly enough to recall that people can still have episodes of anxiety even though they're sober and taking proper medication—like me. I trust this won’t last long and I can muddle through. I will sit down and take four deep breaths each minute for four minutes. ************************************************* ~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~ And in His will, our peace. ~ Dante Alighieri ~ When something goes terribly wrong in our world we may despair, feeling life will never be right again. Some kinds of pain may seem too much for us to stand. At times like this, we need faith that our grief will fade in time, and that we can find the strength to bear our feelings until they change. Broken hearts will heal and we will learn to smile again. We will find new friends to replace those we have lost. Our Higher Power has a plan for us that we can never really know. He will never give us more sorrow than we can bear. With faith in tomorrow’s sunrise, we can survive our grief today. Faith in our Higher Power can help us find peace while we mourn our losses. Our Twelve Step fellowship offers support, comfort, and love to sustain us through our darkest moments. As we find new communion with our Higher Power and friends, we may realize that sometimes, out of our greatest pain, our greatest joy is born. Today I am grateful for the closeness of my Higher Power, especially in times of grief and loss. ************************************************** ~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~ You can’t wring your hands and roll up your sleeves at the same time. ~ Pat Schroeder ~ At times you may worry about how well you are doing in recovery. Even if you have not used or abused, you may have thought about drinking or drugging or even awakened from dreams in which you were using. Do such things mean you are not working the program in the right way? If you have not yet started to work on your inventory, made a list of those you have harmed, or made amends to anyone, does that mean you are not doing well in your recovery? Or maybe you have not accepted the reality of your addiction. Or maybe you do not know why you drank so much and so often or why you did the things you did when you were drunk. Does this mean you do not belong in the program or that you need to figure out the answers to your questions first? Edith Armstrong once wrote that she conquered worry by thinking of her mind as if it were a telephone. She kept her mind busy with “peace, harmony, health, love and abundance.” Whenever doubt, anxiety, or fear tried to “call” her, “they kept getting a busy signal.” Rather than worry about attaining perfection in the program, I will concentrate on making progress. I will keep busy so there is no time to worry. ************************************************** ~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~ Every year I live I am more convinced that the waste of life lies in the love we have not given, the powers we have not used, the selfish prudence that will miss nothing, and which, shirking pain, misses happiness as well. ~ Mary Cholomondeley ~ When we were children our teachers or parents would talk about realizing our full potential. "He's a bright child," they might have said, "but he's not working up to his full potential." What is our full potential? And how do we realize it? We all have certain abilities. With these we can learn, play, love, mature, take risks, make decisions, and speak our minds. Before the program, we may not have developed abilities to do some of these things. When we avoid developing an ability, we are not realizing our full potential. If we don't learn to play, we lose social skills and the fun-oriented part of us. If we don’t work on our capacity to love, we lose emotional and spiritual growth. By growing to our full potential, we can live life as whole people. I can begin to include those long-ignored areas and take the first step to becoming a complete and whole person. ************************************************** ~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~ Tending spiritual needs The less that is said about the physical nature of our disease, the more will be said of our spiritual needs. Our program is a set of suggestions for spiritual health that has worked to get many well. We have found that attending to our physical needs is not enough; we must tend to our spiritual needs as well. When we’re able to shut out the thoughts of the ego and close in on our spiritual feelings, we have a firm foundation for spiritual growth. As confident as we may be of our own thinking, we can hardly guide ourselves alone. Only adherence to spiritual principles and to a Higher Power can make a lasting difference in our lives. How is my spiritual health? Higher Power, help me live my life closer to you. Today I will enhance my spiritual health by God help me to stay clean and sober today! ************************************************** ~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~ There are wonderful moments, those rare moments when there is silence, a tangible silence out there, a silence deeper than silence. ~ DEREK JACOBI ~ Newcomer Sometimes I get uncomfortable when there's a long period of quiet in a meeting. It always seems strange to me when people aren't putting up their hands. There's so little time. It amazes me that not everyone wants to speak. Sponsor Some of us feel bored or anxious when there is silence. Many people live with the continuous sound of radio or TV in their homes, cars, and even workplaces. I moved from the nonstop noise of the city to a quiet rural village, only to find that my next-door neighbor left her TV on all night long. Why is silence so unacceptable? Some of us are filled with excessive concern about others in the room: "They should speak; it would be good for them." Or "Have I done something to alienate them, to keep them from wanting to speak?" For some of us, silence means having to listen to the chaos of our own thoughts and feelings. If we're unwilling to sit with ourselves in stillness, letting thoughts and feelings pass through us, then we also fail to hear what lies beneath them, what some call the voice of our souls. Whether we're alone or with others, when we sit in stillness, we may begin to hear Eternity. Today, I allow myself some time to sit in stillness. ************************************************** ~ THE EYE OPENER ~ We alcoholics should never claim Justice. It is the one thing in the way of a virtue that we can't use. It would be poison. It would be found upon examination that had we received justice we would never have gotten to the door of AA. The warden wouldn't have allowed it. If we are wise we will confine our conversations to Mercy, for this is something we want and need, but if Justice was ever given us in full measure we would find it would be something we didn't want. ************************************************** ~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~ Bad Day Today was a bad day. Forgive me for my anger toward others, The anger was my own. Forgive me for my prejudice toward others; The prejudice and intolerance came from my own arrogance. Forgive me for my lack of faith in You; My lack of faith is my own fear of failure. Tomorrow will be a better day. I had a bad day, but it has ended. And I am sober. ************************************************* ~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~ CAPITALIZE YOUR DISABILITY Success consists in the overcoming of difficulties. All men and women who have made a success of any kind have done so by over-coming difficulties. There was a time when laying a telegraph line from New York to Boston presented many difficulties. Then there was a time when doing that was easy' but laying the Atlantic cable presented difficulties. Later on, marine cable laying became a routine business, but radio across the ocean presented problems that for a time were insuperable. If you have a personal disability that seems to keep you from success, do not accept it as such, but capitalize on it and use it as the instrument for your success. H. G. Wells had to give up a dull underpaid job because of ill health, so he stayed at home and wrote successful books and became a world known author instead. Edison was stone deaf and decided that this would enable him to concentrate better on his inventions. Theodore Roosevelt was a sickly child, very short-sighted and nervous. However, he worked hard to develop his body and became, as we know, a strong husky open air man and big game hunter. The owner of a fashionable dress business in London was the wife of a struggling clerk, who was stricken with tuberculosis. She had never been in business, and had no training, and found herself having to support a husband and two children. She started with nothing but good taste in clothes and a belief in prayer. Problems are signposts on the road to God. . . . To him that overcometh will I give to eat of the tree of life (Revelation 2:7). ************************************************** ~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~ Guaranteed Overnight Delivery Healing is available to you now, unless you believe the will of God takes time. ~ A Course in Miracles ~ One evening when I was teaching creative visualization in adult school, I guided a strong meditation on abundance. "Know that we live in a rich and abundant universe," I told the students. “All the good you seek is available and on its way to you; just open your mind and heart and let it flow." The energy of the meditation was especially poignant, and I felt something click in my own heart. The next morning I went to my mailbox to see if anyone had registered for one of my first retreats, and I was astounded to find 12 checks. My internal acceptance of abundance was mirrored by external manifestation. A trucking company on the East Coast has huge letters painted on the sides of its trailers: G.O.D.: Guaranteed Overnight Delivery. Indeed, God is capable of Guaranteed Overnight Delivery, in far more miraculous ways than any worldly enterprise. When the results we seek do not come about, it is not because the universe is incapable of delivering them; we may not be ready or willing to receive them. We may harbor doubts about our worthiness; we may have bought into the limitation thoughts of others; we may fear that our life will change if we succeed; or we may hold some subconscious belief that we need to suffer to be happy. None of these notions are true and we must rid them from our consciousness to make way for the success we desire. Another way we separate ourselves from our good is with the belief that the will of God takes time. It does not. You can manifest your good now if your heart is open to receive it. An apple falls from the tree when it is ripe, there is no way it can continue to stay on the branch. In the same way, there is no way your blessings can be separated from you if you affirm in your gut, "Yes, I accept." Show me that love is here now. Help me be open to receive all You would give me. I accept the love of God and all my good into my life now. |
October 23
Step by Step Today, if some habit seems too strong for me to overcome, I won’t waste energy to fight what I shouldn’t: I’ll simply change the game rules. If being drunk was habitual, I’ll make being sober a habit. If I have a temptation, craving or compulsion, I’ll take a 10th or 12th Step. If lying was or still is a habit, telling the truth will be the new habit and in the process, I might learn how much easier honesty is compared to the work it takes to keep the lies going. If interacting with anyone was from an antagonistic or condescending perspective, I’ll make a habit of asking my higher power to remind me that I wouldn’t tolerate anyone treating me as I treat them. If dodging responsibility was or still is a habit, I’ll face the music if for no other reason than to be done with it. If I think my perspective of any issue is the only logical one and that everyone needs to hear it, I’ll ask my higher power that I consider the possibility that mine might not be the only opinion, and certainly not the best. Habits die hard, and humans – addicts and non-addicts alike – are notoriously resistant to change. Today I’ll simply change the game rules and, in the end, make sobriety instead of alcohol my addiction. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M. ************************************************** ~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~ OPTIMISM The Program works if you want it to work. ~ Anonymous ~ Rarely do climbers stare up to see how far away the top still is. Instead, when they rest, they look down toward the starting point of their journey. The view they see assures them that they have already come a long, long way. Like the climbers, we need to keep our eyes on where we are and where we've been, not on where we're going. When we become discouraged with the progress of our recovery, we only need to look back over how far we have come. The rewarding "view" gives us courage to continue. Many of us recall times when we lived without hope and the sense of impending doom. Now we look forward to life with confidence. Today, I will remember to face my climb with optimism. Even if my progress sometimes seems slow to me, it's still a long way from where I once was. ************************************************** ~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~ Approach love and cooking with reckless abandon. ~ H. Jackson Brown, Jr. ~ Our creator made us as loving and sensuous beings. Some have said that it was our search for God, misguided though it was, that led us into addiction and codependency. Some of us have sought nirvana in a bottle, others by compulsively picking up the pieces of someone else’s life, and some of us through sex, gambling, or overeating. The fact that we were misguided in our search doesn’t negate the fact that we are sensuous and loving men. We know that the very avenues to pleasure and joy can become paths to our destruction. Now we are learning to handle our emotions directly rather than by covering them with pleasure seeking. We can live a full life while guiding our search for God and for pleasure in more constructive ways. We can give free reign to our love for others without taking over their lives. We can be grown-up, sensuous, passionate lovers with our partners. We can indulge in the pleasure of great flavors without using food to cover our emotions. Today I take great pleasure in my loves and claim my passion and sensuality. ************************************************** ~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~ I must be prepared before the crisis comes. ~ Ruth Humlecker ~ Being prepared for a crisis may seem like a negative outlook to some. After all, if we expect trouble, won’t we get it? However, there is another way to think about preparation: it is a chance to make sure the tools of the program are easily accessible and familiar through use. For example, one valuable tool is available when we give our lives and will to God. We can handle any situation if we let our Higher Power help carry our burdens. Another valuable tool is communicating regularly with a sponsor. We can avoid many disasters when we seek her advice, since her thinking is often clearer than our own. Many crises result from our attempts to force other people to live according to our rules. Becoming willing, through the broad application of Step One, to accept our powerlessness over everybody else saves us from many conflicts. Unchecked conflicts are the stuff that crises are often made of. The best preparation, of course, is believing that we’ll never be given more that we can handle. I am prepared to handle whatever comes to me today. The program will see me through every detail of my life. ************************************************** ~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~ I can't do this on my own I remember thinking that using street drugs would take care of my psychiatric symptoms. I believed that the more chemicals I used, the better I would feel. I also believed that if I stopped using chemicals, my symptoms would worsen. I was wrong. One morning, I woke up feeling terrified. I suddenly realized that my "solution" wasn't working, and in fact, despite my self-medication, my problems were getting worse. Now, in dual recovery I admit that I can’t recover on my own, that I need outside help for my illnesses. My first helper was a therapist who gently encouraged me to work with a Twelve Step group for my addiction. Later, I got help from a psychiatrist. All three helpers—therapist, recovery group, and doctor—are powers greater than I am. I need them and I am fortunate and grateful to have them. In my prayers today I will remember my helpers and all the help I am getting. ************************************************* ~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~ Somewhere beyond the curtain Of distorting days Lives that lonely thing That shone before these eyes. ~ William Butler Yeats ~ Recovery can be like a curtain going up a little at a time. It opens very slowly, sometimes dropping back down a little, sometimes staying where it is for weeks or months before rising some more. This image helps remind us that our recovery doesn’t always progress at the speed we would like. It is often a slow process, with many starts and stops. But we know that as long as we work our program, the curtain will continue to go up. We have faith that eventually our lives will be filled with the light our program lets in. We are on the right track toward a better way of life. Whether our curtain is only up a little or much further along, we share with those in our fellowship a common strength, a common goal, and a common destination. Today let me be grateful for the others who are with me on the road to recovery. ************************************************** ~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~ The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing in the right place but to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment. ~ Dorothy Nevill ~ When you are having an intense argument with a friend or a loved one, you may find yourself thinking, “This is not the way I wanted this conversation to go.” When it is finally over, you may blame yourself and think that if you had only kept your mouth shut, the argument would have never happened. Recovery provides you with a greater understanding about communication so you can improve upon the way in which you deliver information to others. One of the most important things you learn is to focus on how you feel. Rather than say to someone, “You make me so mad,” you learn to own your feelings by saying, “I am so mad right now.” “You” statements deliver blame; “I” statements deliver messages. Keeping “you” out of the dialogue defuses defensiveness and accusation while raising awareness of what made you feel anger. Starting today, become more aware of changing “you” statements to “I” messages. Even if the other person uses “you” statements, refrain from responding in kind. I will begin my conversations with “I want...” or “I need...” or “I feel.. ************************************************** ~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~ I do not know what I appear to the world, but to myself I seem to have been only . . . playing on the seashore . . . whilst the great ocean of truth lay all undiscovered before me. ~ Sir Isaac Newton ~ Before the program we chose to see only what we wanted and turned away from any distractions. We may have been aware of obsessive or addictive problems, but those were off to our left or right. We may have seen the emotional or physical breakdown of a person or family, but this was also off to the side. What lay ahead was just getting through a day and on to a future we hoped would be better. The program has helped us deal with the problems we always put off. Today we know we must meet every problem face-to-face without running away or avoiding it. What lies ahead of us is no longer as important as what lies right in front of us. Are there issues I've been avoiding! Tonight I can take one of those issues and see it clearly. I will be unafraid to meet the challenge. ************************************************** ~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~ Taking just a little If we are trying to stay clean and sober while drinking a little beer or smoking a little pot, we are missing the mark. We can never know sobriety and cleanness under those conditions. Our programs cannot be effective or honest if we use any type of mind-altering chemical. If you sincerely want the freedom, serenity, and joy of a drug-free existence, doing “a little” will never get it for you. Have I learned that taking just a little invariably ends up in taking way too much? Higher Power, show me the ways I try to trick myself into using mind-altering chemicals and keep me from them. Today I will remember my powerlessness by God help me to stay clean and sober today! ************************************************** ~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~ The dogs bark, but the caravan moves on. ~ ARABIC PROVERB ~ Newcomer I read an article that attacked Twelve Step programs. It was the same criticism I once heard expressed crudely by someone I knew who'd tried the program for a short time: "First they suck you in; then they drop the God stuff on you." The article asserted that people in Twelve Step programs don't think for themselves. Sponsor Perhaps it's an indication of our widespread success that some people feel compelled to critique us! By now you know that every suggestion we're offered here is optional. We have no rules, no creed. Most people who want what we have find their own way here. Like you, I've felt upset when I've seen occasional misrepresentations in the media of how we accomplish what we do here. I've noticed that most of the self-designated experts who are opposed to us aren't people in recovery. I like to think of their "exposes" as something like travel writing-you and I, who live in recovery can smile at their mistakes. More people need recovery than find lt. If someone is persuaded to stay away from us after reading just one magazine article, my hunch is that he or she is still looking for ways to rationalize active addiction. Recovery is not an abstraction; it makes life today possible. I have immense gratitude that this program was founded and has lasted to the present day. Luckily, it isn't a debating society. We don't have to concern ourselves with petty attacks on the program, from without or within. Today, I focus on my experience of recovery, not others’ opinions of it. ************************************************** ~ THE EYE OPENER ~ "Why can't that guy get the Program? He is down and out, he has taken a terrible beating, just what is the matter?" We try to analyze the man, his mental capacity, his home life, his employment, his environment, and the answer just isn't there. Have we improperly delivered the message? The chances are he isn't ripe—he still wants to drink. He cannot see the light, but he is probably further away from it than you think. Maybe it just isn't dark enough yet. ************************************************** ~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~ Forgiving Others Dear Lord, if I am unable or unwilling to forgive others for their actions, I will be unable to forgive myself for my actions. The agony of resentment, guilt, remorse, and shame will overpower me. These emotions will halt my progress toward the comfortable and rewarding living we are promised in working our recovery program. Dear Lord, help me to pray for those who anger me and make me uncomfortable and those who I think have wronged me. You have instructed me that forgiveness will always triumph over guilt and shame. Remind me that my recovery is one-third love and two-thirds forgiveness. ************************************************* ~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~ THE SUNSHINE OF GOD'S LOVE Beyond every problem or difficulty lies the Truth of Being. This means that in spite of the appearance, you must believe that divine Mind is already healing the situation. Jesus said that when you pray, believe that you have received. Often we are so close to a problem that, spiritually speaking, we accept the cloudy day as a permanent state of climate, forgetting that the sunshine of divine Love and Power has never ceased to shine, although obscured for the moment. In prayer we remind ourselves again that, no matter how bleak or overcast the picture may be, we believe that in divine Mind there is nothing but good and therefore only good can express itself in these circumstances. The important thing is to raise your consciousness above the level where the difficulty seems to be, and put God there instead. Then shall the righteous shine forth as the sun in the kingdom of their Father (Matthew 13:43). ************************************************** ~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~ Closer Than You Think When you come to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on. ~ Attributed to Franklin D. Roosevelt ~ In The African Queen, Humphrey Bogart and Katharine Hepburn are exhausted after a long and gruelling adventure down a troublesome river. After overcoming terrible obstacles, their boat is stranded on a dry river bed, inestimably far from the ocean they have fought so hard to reach. Spent, and knowing that they can do no more on their own behalf, the couple falls into deep sleep, prepared to surrender to death. As their eyes close, the camera slowly pulls to an aerial view that reveals that the ocean they have sought lies just beyond the next bend, but a few hundred yards away. Then a miracle happens. While the couple sleeps, rain comes, and in a short time the river begins to flow again. By the time they awaken, the boat has floated to the ocean they believed was many miles away. They were closer than they thought. You, too, may be just inches from your goal-not the miles you believe. If you have done everything that you can possibly do, it may be time for you to surrender and accept help from above. Self-made millionaire and insurance mogul A.L. Williams called his book All You Can Do Is All You Can Do But All You Can Do Is Enough. We are asked to do only what we can, beyond that the universe is in charge. Consider any projects or goals you have been struggling over or about which you feel are fruitless. Write them down on a piece of paper, and place it on an altar. Make a statement of surrender in which you let go of your efforts to make something happen, and entrust the entire process to the hands of a loving God. Like the African Queen travelers who made their best efforts and then surrendered, you may find that the ocean is just around the next bend. I have done all I can. Help me to find the peace I seek. I turn my intention over to God, trusting that love will care for me. |
October 24
Step by Step “The alcoholic may say to himself in the most casual way, ‘It won’t burn me this time, so here’s how!’ Or perhaps he doesn’t think at all. How often have some of us begun to drink in this nonchalant way, and after the third or fourth, pounded on the bar and said to ourselves, ‘For God’s sake, how did I ever get started again?’ Only to have that thought supplanted by, ‘Well, I’ll stop with the sixth drink.’ Or, ‘What’s the use anyhow?'” – Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, Ch 2 (“There Is a Solution”), p 24. Today: what’s the use anyhow? There isn’t any if I cave into the myth that “just one” won’t hurt. “Just one” triggers the craving that leads to “just two,” then “just six” and, in the end, “What’s the use anyhow?” So much for “just one.” It’s the one that sets off the craving, temptation or thirst for the “just two” or “just six.” How, then, not to feed a craving, temptation or thirst? Simple! Don’t drink the first one! We’ve been handed the tools to steer clear of the mythical “just one.” All we need do is pick them up and put them into action. Today, we have the power and choice to prevent that potentially fatal conclusion of our drinking days: what’s the use anyhow. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M. ************************************************** ~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~ HONESTY Honesty is largely a matter of information, of knowing that dishonesty is a mistake. ~ Edgar Watson Howe ~ If honesty is the best policy, most of us were delinquent in following it before we found recovery. We were reluctant to tell the truth because we were afraid of the consequences. Our dishonesties led us away from our true selves. We felt we were living behind hundreds of masks. We tried to out the world together through our manipulations. We were always whole and complete. It was our lying, dishonesty, and rationalizations that made us feel small. When we honestly look at our life now and account for our actions, we reclaim our identity. This is a wonderful experience. We can take pleasure in the unique person that we are, and continue to build a new life. Honesty keeps me in the present reality and opens the door to the future. I never need to hide again. ************************************************** ~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~ I loved boxing. I loved every minute of it, every round in the gym, every skip of the rope, and every foot on the road. The fights were the dessert. ~ Carmen Basilio, middleweight champion ~ Life is about the path, not just the destination. Yes, we have goals and commitments in mind; they give us direction and motivation. But getting there is our life experience. We have some big goals that guide us; they are not accomplished in a day. We live each day in the stream that carries us forward as we gradually loosen our controlling grip. This path is about the process of moving forward as much as it is about arriving at our destination. We never use the word cured because we never have that much control. We only seek to be on the path and stay there, loving our experiences along the way. Once in a while we enjoy the “dessert” of an achievement, but sharing our lives with loved ones, enjoying a day of good work, taking time to go fishing or dig in the garden—these are the real stuff of a good life. Today on my path I will take pleasure in what the day brings. ************************************************** ~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~ Attitude and perspective are everything. Thus I see the glass as half-full, not half-empty. ~ Kathy Kendall ~ Cynics rob themselves of the happiness they deserve. Sometimes we let them rob us of our happiness as well. Fortunately, our attitudes aren’t up for grabs unless we relinquish ownership. Developing a loving, positive attitude isn’t difficult. If our family of origin was angry and opinionated, we may have gravitated toward a similar out-look. But with some effort we can follow the examples of people with a more positive outlook: good role models are easy to find in Twelve Step pro-grams. We’ll discover that we can create a more accepting perspective. No one sees our experiences exactly as we do; each of us responds to life uniquely. We can come to understand this profound truth and willingly develop respect for all perspectives. When we accept that others’ interpretations are right for them, and decide to see the positive rather than the negative in our own lives, we are promised true contentment. I can kick the negatives out of my life today if that’s my choice. How I look at any experience depends on how I choose to see it. ************************************************** ~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~ I can cope It's not even dawn and I'm wide awake. I feel sad and scared and exhausted. After two weeks, my antidepressant still doesn’t seem to be working. Right now, I'm wondering when I will ever feel better. Still, my doctor said I might feel this way. He said it could take a couple weeks—maybe longer—for the medication to take effect. Coping is not easy, but I think I can still hang on. I have a higher power to help me. I will be better soon. I will first ask my higher power for strength and then I'll get out of bed and begin my day. ************************************************* ~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~ He that is thy friend indeed, He will help thee in thy need. ~ Richard Bamfield ~ With friends we can get through the hardest times. When things seem bleak and gloomy, a friend can brighten the day. A friend can tell us a hard truth when we need to hear one and help us enjoy a good laugh that brings back our perspective. Now that we’re recovering, every day is a chance to find new friends. Our Twelve Step program is a great place to meet healthy people from all walks of life, people with all kinds of experience. Once, we might have had a limited idea of who a friend could be, but now we seek out those with our common goals of sobriety and serenity. We find we have much in common with people of different ages, races, and religions. We’re all recovering, and struggling to find new peace in our lives. Together, we can share our experience and learn from one another, and we can enjoy the glow that comes from making new friends. When we open ourselves up to that experience and make the effort we discover how deserving we are. Today I am grateful for the new world of friends waiting for me. ************************************************** ~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~ Privacy is something I’m not merely entitled to, it’s an absolute prerequisite. ~ Marlon Brando ~ Nowadays private lives seem to have become irrelevant. It is not just rich and powerful people or those in the spotlight whose lives have been made into open books. Videos of truly private moments are broadcast on web-sites. Diaries people once kept under lock and key have been transformed into blogs, made available to the entire world. Personal messages e-mailed to one person can be intercepted and sent to multiple recipients. And even innocent surfing on the Internet can capture enough personal information to wreak havoc on bank accounts and credit cards. Because of this, it may seem as if privacy has become a luxury item. One place in which privacy is of utmost importance is in recovery. Without respect for the confidentiality of all members, considerable personal and professional dam-age could be done. When you share with someone else the names of those who attend meetings or some of the things they admit to doing while they were using, it is not just a violation of one of the tenets of the program. It is an invasion of privacy. I will respect the privacy and private thoughts of others. ************************************************** ~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~ A hug is a perfect gift—one size fits all, and nobody minds if you exchange it. ~ Ivern Ball ~ In the past many of us may have feared physical expressions of friendship. A hug, a touch, or a friend's gentle nudge may have made us want to back away. Or we may have misinterpreted such expressions as overtures to more physical contact. All we knew is that those hugs or touches were confusing. When we came into the program we saw many people hugging or holding hands in the circle at the end of a meeting. We may even remember the first time someone hugged us; their arms encircled us as our arms lay stiff by our sides. "What can this person possibly mean by hugging me?" we may have thought. As time went on and we received more hugs, we realized they didn't hurt. It didn't mean someone wanted us sexually; it just meant somebody liked us and wanted to show us that. Pretty soon we started giving hugs instead of just receiving them. We learned to trust them and soon let ourselves feel the wonderful love that encircled us each time we were given one. I can give a hug to someone I care about. Maybe I can get a hug too! ************************************************** ~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~ Meditating In our old lives we were busy giving orders, making demands, and directing others. Now we find it is time to try to listen. Prayer is talking to your Higher Power; meditation is listening to your Higher Power. There are as many types of meditation as there are individuals. We find that daily meditation is vital to keeping perspective. Have I learned to meditate? I pray that I may learn to listen to my Higher Power so that I may be in harmony with the Higher Forces. Today I will listen to my Higher Power by meditating about God help me to stay clean and sober today! ************************************************** ~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~ Live and let live. ~ PROGRAM SLOGAN ~ Newcomer I saw some people in a public place recently who seemed "high." I reminded myself that what they were doing was none of my business. I didn't have to condemn them, and I didn't have to indulge in my own drug of choice in reaction to them. I can't say that I was completely tolerant, though; my first reaction was judgmental. Sponsor I still don't enjoy being around people who are active in their addictions; I avoid it, if possible. But sometimes it happens. Like you, I don't immediately think, "They're suffering from a disease"; instead, impatience and intolerance surface in me. At the end of certain meetings I go to, the speaker asks for a moment of silence "for all those who are still sick and suffering, both in and out of these rooms." This moment of focused attention reminds me that I can open to greater acceptance of others—and of myself "Live" is just as important a part of the slogan as "let live." When I'm not preoccupied with others, judging them, becoming obsessed with what I believe to be their difficulties, and trying to "fix" them, then I can embrace my own life with energy and enthusiasm. That's living! Today, I mind my business; I stay centered on the pursuits of my own soul. ************************************************** ~ THE EYE OPENER ~ Resolutions, like clay pigeons, are made to be broken. They are nearly always made in sincerity, but the very act of making a resolution is a confession on the part of the maker of his inability to keep it otherwise. As resolutions are contrary to the subconscious wishes of the maker, they are almost surely doomed from the start. If a person really wanted what he resolved, he would do it without the resolution, for we are prone to do those things that we really want to do. ************************************************** ~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~ Reconstruction Ahead My Creator, show me the way of patience, tolerance, kindness, and love. Help me to clean house and ask in my morning prayer and meditation for the energy for positive action. I have accepted the reality that there is a long period of reconstruction ahead. And yes, the spiritual life is not a theory; I have to live it. ~ Adapted from material in Alcoholics Anonymous, Fourth Edition, page 83 ~ ************************************************* ~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~ STAKE YOUR CLAIM In the gold rush days prospectors went out in the mountains in search of the yellow metal. Often the task was long and arduous with little to show for days of struggle and privation. But when a find was made, the prospector would stake his claim so that others would know that that particular discovery belonged to him. Of course, some claims turned out to be shallow veins of ore and worth little, while other claims eventually made their owners fabulously wealthy. In metaphysics, we often speak of claiming our good, and it is one of the surest ways of bringing the good we desire into our lives. If we want health, then we have to claim every day that divine Life brings well-being to every part of our body. If we want prosperity, then we claim every day that God is the giver of every good gift, ready to supply our every need. Whatever it is we wish to bring into our life, we stake our claim to it. Of course, we often claim negative things for ourselves without fully realizing it. Every time we say, "My cold," "My headache," "My indigestion," we are claiming those things for ourself. What one claims for himself he will eventually bring into his life. Affirm your divine kinship. All that the Father hath is ours—if we will stake our claim with God. . . . it is yow Father's good pleasure to give you the kingdom (Luke 12:32). ************************************************** ~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~ The Sigh It is our hearts that He asks of us. ~ Francois Fenelon ~ A cobbler told his rabbi, "Most of my customers are men who work every day and drop their boots off to me at night for repair. I often stay up all night to get their boots ready for them in the morning. Sometimes I am so tired that I do not say the morning prayer. Other times I just say it quickly so I will have time to work. Other times my heart just sighs, ‘How I wish I had the time and energy to say my prayer.’” The rabbi answered, "If I were God, I would value that sigh more than the prayer." Our love of God is not measured by the rituals we do or the forms we create, but by the intentions of our heart. We may lead a busy lifestyle, but if our soul I connected with Spirit, our daily activities become our communions. By contrast, there are people who go through rote prayers and rituals, but their minds and hearts are elsewhere. The great illusion of the world is that we are what we do. The great truth of Spirit is that we live from our heart or we do not live at all. Here is a benchmark by which you can assess the quality of your actions and make important decisions: What is your intention? lf you truly seek to serve and give love, you cannot fail. Throughout your day, say hello to God occasionally. Lovers call each other several times a day just to say hello. I used to call a girlfriend who had a pager. I would punch in the numbers equivalent to the letters, “I love you," or other romantic phrases she would decipher. Those brief messages were the highlights of our days when we were apart. Give God a heartfelt call every now and then, and your love affair with Spirit will bloom in the most wonderful ways. I pray to keep my heart open to You in the midst of all my activities. I am always connected with the God I love. |
October 25
Step by Step “God has abundantly supplied this world with fine doctors, psychologists and practitioners of various kinds. Do not hesitate to take your health problems to such persons. Most of them give freely of themselves, that their fellows may enjoy sound minds and bodies. Try to remember that though God has wrought miracles among us, we should never belittle a good doctor or psychiatrist. Their services are often indispensable in treating a newcomer and in following his case afterward.” – Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, Ch 9 (“The Family Afterward”), p 133. Today, let me not be discouraged even in sobriety if AA is not enough to treat my physical, emotional or spiritual sickness. But it was never intended. If clinical depression or bipolar disorder have been ever-present shadows in my life, for example, I may need medication to stabilize those conditions, and I should not and cannot feel let down if AA does not treat such maladies. AA instead is one of multiple therapies that I might require. As the program notes, alcohol is but a symptom of our underlying problems. And if those problems should be a medical or psychological condition that warrants medical treatment, quality sobriety will be elusive if we treat only the symptoms and leave the conditions unattended. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M. ************************************************** ~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~ MIRACLES The age of miracles is forever here. ~ Thomas Carlyle ~ Regardless of whatever addiction it was that sent us for help to the Program, we all refer to the big and small miracles of recovery that we experience. The chains of our addiction were so strong that we considered ourselves helpless and hopeless. We know that only a miracle saved our lives. There seemed no way out for us until we began to share experiences, strengths, and hopes with others who were in recovery, who were once as sick and desperate as we were. To live without our substance seemed impossible. Small wonder that we began to believe in personal miracles when we found abstinence. One of the miracles was being able to care and share with others. Another miracle made service easy and natural. Every moment I don't use is a miracle. That I believe in a Higher Power is a miracle. That I have forgiven myself and love others is a miracle. The age of miracles begins with recovery. ************************************************** ~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~ To become a father is not difficult, but to be a father is. ~ Anonymous ~ Many of us grew up with a gap in our hearts, a longing to know our father better, to have his time, his attention, and his love. Where was he? Why did he not get more involved with us? Was his work really that important? Did he really not think about us? Did he care but just not show it? Our father grew up with the same images of masculinity that we are dealing with: that we must keep a wall of toughness around us, that we must not show weakness or softness because someone might think less of us. Now, in our recovery and healing, we see that the unfilled yearning was part of our search that led us into problems with addiction and codependency. We were trying to satisfy our needs and soothe our pains, but without effective means. This healing journey includes making peace with our father or the memories we have of him. Today I will accept the pain of missing my father, and I will stand on his shoulders to become a stronger, more loving man. ************************************************** ~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~ As a woman, I may err. Just for today I will cherish my humanness. ~ Jan Pishok ~ Making mistakes is normal. We grew up in families where mistakes were common. Newspapers have typos, announcers mispronounce names, coworkers forget meetings, friends overlook birthdays, gas tanks run dry. So why do we think we must be perfect? Expecting more of ourselves than we do of others is common among women in recovery. We fear that if we’re not perfection personified, we’re not worthy! It may be that demanding parents and teachers helped instill this when we were young, but we don’t have to continue cultivating it. Yet we do continue. Fortunately, it’s never too late to change a habit, even one as ingrained as this. Giving ourselves permission to be human and imperfect relieves us of a terrible burden. Truly believing that no one else is perfect either makes the prospect more acceptable. Some of my actions will be errorless today, but many will fall short of perfection, just like everyone else’s. I am as okay as I need to be. ************************************************** ~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~ I have found a better way I never expected to have a problem with alcohol and other drugs. But in trying to cope with the problems in my life, it became all too easy for me to rely on such a dangerous "tool." At the time, I didn't know a better way. I only knew I was in deep distress and looking for relief. I just kept using the wrong rool. Since learning about addiction and mental health problems, I have found a better way to deal with my life and I am trying more useful tools to help me change. I'm using a psychiatrist to help me work on my medical problem. I'm using a counselor, a Twelve Step program, and a sponsor to help me work on my emotional and spiritual problems. It's still not easy, but at least I'm working with the right tools. I will read Step Two and thank my higher power for all my helpers. ************************************************* ~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~ It cannot be your duty to do anything you do not have time to do. ~ Emmett Fox ~ Running around trying to do everything for everyone can bring on an emotional collapse. When we act like a merry-go-round that never stops, we will finally run out of gas and break down, exhausted and worn out. Energy is a barometer we can use to measure balance in our lives. We get tired when we give to others without also nourishing ourselves. Frantic giving to others can numb us to our own pain and deafen us to our own cries for help. We tell ourselves, “I can put off resting a few more hours,” “I’ll take time for myself later,” or, “I can’t possibly take a vacation now.” We are the only ones who can choose to get off the merry-go-round and take a closer look at our living patterns. Pushing ourselves to the limit isn’t doing ourselves or those we love any favors. We must relax and take the time to recharge and when we do, life is a much smoother and more satisfying ride. One way to avoid exhaustion is to pray each day, stopping everything else and holding our lives up to our Higher Power. If we are out of balance, we will be shown. Often merely stopping to pray gives us the rest and refueling we need. Today let me take time for myself ************************************************** ~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~ Promises are like crying babies in a theater. They should be carried out at once. ~ Norman Vincent Peale ~ By putting down the drink or the drug, you have started I he process of becoming a promise-keeper. To help you with your promise, there are a number of tools in recovery, including the Promises of Alcoholics Anonymous. These are not guarantees but commitments that the program makes in support of your desire to stop using. To be a promise-keeper, you can adopt the following promises as the ones you make to yourself: • I will know a new freedom and a new happiness by staying clean and sober. • I will learn to treat others with kindness and respect. • I will be forgiving of myself. • I will help others in the fellowship and I will give to others. • I will devote time to meditation and personal reflection. • I will understand the word serenity and begin to find peace. • I will turn my life over to the care of a Higher Power. • I will see the world with new eyes. Today I promise to keep my promises. ************************************************** ~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~ Our weak and negative states leave us open to 'take on' outside prevailing conditions. . . . We are shaken with the wind and float with the current because we present the negative. ~ Henry Wood ~ A bad day usually begins badly. All it takes some, times is one thing to go wrong and we run to our battle stations for the rest of the day. Then it seems all that ever comes our way are more bad things. By the end of the day, we're glad it's over. But our day didn't have to go badly if only we had detached right from the start. Instead of believing we were victims of an unset alarm clock, a ripped shirt, unpressed pants, an angry partner, demanding children, or burnt toast, we could have accepted the upsets and let go of them. Life is so much better when we aren't drowning in the upsets around us. We don't have to absorb the antics of others or get caught up in the material and mechanical inconveniences. A sure sign of maturity is being able to accept an upset for a few minutes and then let it go. Tonight, I can let go of minor hassles and upsets and enjoy what lies ahead tomorrow. ************************************************** ~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~ Remembering well Do we remember how important preventive talk is for our fellowship and for our program? Drug-alogues and drunk-alogues are fine for getting to know each other in open meetings. But if we constantly sit around in social groups expounding on the “good times”—when we were abusing drugs and booze—what are we really doing? Are we trying to tell ourselves drugs are really beneficial? Are we trying to fit in where we don’t belong? Are we forgetting the pain and disaster? Are we ignoring the new beauty we have found? Preventive talk makes us aware of the tendency to expound on the “good old days.” Preventive talk is necessary to keep our heads straight. Do I remember the consequences well? Higher Power, when I am tempted to talk or think about the “good old days,” let me remember the "bad old days.” Today I will look back at God help me to stay clean and sober today! ************************************************** ~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~ In spite of everything, I still believe that people are really good at heart. Newcomer I get upset and discouraged about what's in the news. So much of it is about violence and tragedy, lying and competition. What's going on out there is so different from what I see at meetings. I wish that everyone had what we have. Sponsor Sometimes it does seem as if the world "out there" is on a binge of some kind. And addictions themselves, of all kinds, are still widespread and causing considerable damage. But what about the healing, the taking of responsibility, the turning around of lives? News of recovery, changes in consciousness, spiritual growth, and service is not what sells papers, but it is a real and vital part of what's happening in the world. Twelve Step recovery has been around for less than a century but its healing principles have entered the awareness and lives of millions of people around the world. When we think about what our individual lives were like before recovery and what fundamental changes we've been able to make in a short time, it gives us hope and a sense of what's possible. Today, I'm blessed with hope. I let change begin with me. ************************************************** ~ THE EYE OPENER ~ The greatest piece of self-deception on the part of the drinker is the actual belief that a drink will make him feel better. We got this illusion because alcohol in the blood stream and in the brain deadens the misery momentarily, but it also served to make us thirsty and so we continued the drinking and inevitably felt worse. Whisky will pick you up a foot or so but it drops you a hundred. What made you sick will never make you well. ************************************************** ~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~ Deep Peace May God shield you. May God bring you to the land of deep peace. Deep peace of the running wave to you, Deep peace of the flowing air to you, Deep peace of the quiet earth to you, Deep peace of the shining stars to you, Deep peace of the gentle night to you. Moon and stars pour their healing light on you Deep peace of God, the Light of the World, Deep peace of God. ~ Adapted from an ancient Celtic prayer ~ ************************************************* ~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~ HOW MUCH CAN GOD DO? The Bible tells us that God can heal us, that He can deliver us from our destructions, that He lifts up the weak, that He leads and guides us. But just how much can God do? Well, God can do almost anything. That may sound strange to those who have been taught that with God all things are possible. But there are some things that God cannot do, and it is fortunate for us that this is true. God is a God of love and rules by principle, and because this is so, He cannot change His nature. He cannot break divine law. He cannot bring disease, or suffering, or lack. He is always the loving Father, ready to hear and answer prayer. How much can God do? He can bring heaven here and now—not by breaking the law, which is impossible to God—but by fulfilling it. Open thou mine eyes, that I may behold wondrous things out of thy law (Psalm 119:18) ************************************************** ~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~ Clear Away What Isn’t Nothing real can be threatened. Nothing unreal exists. Herein lies the Peace of God. ~ A Course in Miracles ~ Michelangelo was asked how he sculpted the magnificent classic statue of David. "I looked into the stone and saw David. Then I simply cleared away everything that wasn't David." Our work in life is exactly the same. We do not have to create who we are; indeed, we have been created in utter perfection. We just need to discover what about our life is not who we are, and let it go. The great Indian sage Ramana Maharshi offered one straightforward path to enlightenment: Continually ask, "Who am I?" Sincere, consistent inquiry into this most important question will eventually reveal that many of the things we identify with, are not who we are. When all of our illusions are peeled away, only divinity remains. Who are you? You are not only your name, which could change. You are not a husband or wife only; your identity goes far beyond your relationship. You are not your bank account, which rises and falls. You are not your house, from which you come and go. You are not your job, which is temporary. You are not your emotions, which wax and wane. You are not your religion, which is a mutable belief system. You are not your body; some people have body parts removed, and they are still a whole person. You are not even your thoughts, which vacillate and turn in all directions. If you are not any of these things that you commonly identify with, who are you? We are spiritual beings, and any other identity detracts from the majesty of our true essence. Let go of false beliefs about yourself, that the true you may shine in all its splendor. Teach me who I truly am, that I may live my highest potential. I am Spirit. I am whole. |
October 26
Step by Step "Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings." - Step Seven Today, caution against being too eager to release my shortcomings or character defects without first laying the foundation of Steps Four, Five and Six. I cannot be honest about my defects without first taking the self-inventory of Step Four and then giving them voice by acknowledging them to myself, the god of my understanding and to another person as suggested in Step Five. And I certainly cannot ask for those defects to be removed if I am not willing to let them go, as suggested in Step Six. It has been heard in meetings that some people hold onto defects because they are not ready to let them go. But if those defects are a roadblock to the quality of recovery I seek, I have to be willing to release them. Today, I can "humbly ask Him to remove my shortcomings," but only after I have done the homework to let them go. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M. ************************************************** ~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~ IDENTIFICATION Identify, don't compare. ~ Anonymous ~ When we identify with another in recovery we bond with that person, and, in so doing, we pass on the message of recovery. When we compare our Program with that of another, we break the bond and become separated by an act of our own ego. We can't grow when we compare. The hope we all share in our Fellowship is that we will come to experience an honest acceptance of what life has to offer. We will never receive a report card grading our progress or a diploma for working the Steps. Taking our inventory is not the same as keeping score. We do not compare our Program with that of any other person. We only share our experiences to help another fellow traveler. We never try to put ourselves above anyone else through comparisons. Identifying with my fellow travelers helps us to help each other. Comparing my progress with theirs turns recovery into a competition nobody wins. ************************************************** ~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~ We didn’t lose the game; we just ran out of time. ~ Vince Lombardi ~ On a day when it seems like more things are going wrong than right, we may need to take a longer view. Today is just one day; this week is just one week on a long path. Certainly there are ups and downs on our path, and sometimes we just need more time. We can get lost in the details of the moment, when every way we turn seems to show us more frustration. That is when we can get relief by knowing that with more time, progress will be made—and things will look different. Even when we are trying our best and we still don’t see the evidence that our lives are getting better, we are actually laying the foundation of a better life. This program of recovery holds promises for us that will be fulfilled as long as we are willing to do the work. Today I will not be discouraged by the frustrations I face because I believe the promise that my life will continue to get better. ************************************************** ~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~ So often I have listened to everyone else’s truth and tried to make it mine. ~ Liane Cordes ~ Being different from others was so painful in our youth. We wanted to belong, to look like our friends, to think like them, to be like them in every way. We wanted them to share our dreams and opinions. Rather than risk that they wouldn’t, we mimicked them. Who were we? We seldom knew, because it depended on who we were with. That is still a problem for many of us. Fortunately, our friends in this recovery program do not expect us to share their opinions unless they fit us too. Listening to another woman’s truth honors her. Taking her truth as our own, when it isn’t, dishonors both of us. This program teaches us respect if we are willing students. To be praised, rather than judged, for our integrity, even when it means we are different, is a refreshing and humbling experience. I will listen to my truth today and respect everyone else’s too. I am not here to judge, but to honor and love. ************************************************** ~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~ My mental health is improving For some time before I hit bottom, I struggled to cope with stress and painful emotions. Drugs and alcohol did not help me. But I couldn’t admit any of this. To do so would have meant facing failure, feeling out of control, feeling "crazy"—even though I was doing the best I could, holding my life together on my own. Perhaps I was in denial about my dual illnesses. But through therapy, psychological education, and personal support, I am learning that mental health is a matter of degrees. I am learning about myself, and learning coping skills. I am putting my life back together, making it work even better than before. I will take five minutes to meditate on the ways I am OK. ************************************************** ~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~ Experiences are savings which a miser puts aside. Wisdom is an inheritance.... ~ Karl Kraus ~ One day a teacher placed a jar on his desk and a pile of rocks. He asked his students to fill the jar. When they were done, the teacher asked if the jar was filled. “Yes," the students replied. Then the teacher placed on his desk a bucket of small pebbles. “Please fill the jar with these,” he told them, and the students did so. “Now,” he asked, “is the jar full?" “Yes,” the students answered, but with hesitation. The teacher then placed a bucket of sand on his desk, “Please fill the jar with the sand,” he told them. The students placed a scoop of sand into the jar, which settled in between the rocks and pebbles. “Is the jar full?” the teacher asked. The students remained silent. So the teacher placed a bucket of water on his desk, and the students watched the teacher fill the jar with water. Your experiences can be seen as the rocks, pebbles, sand, and water. You use each at some point in your life to make decisions and expand your knowledge. Bui il is wisdom that enables you to see that all of your experiences, when placed together in unity, bring about the greatest understanding. Today I will draw from all of my experiences for greater wisdom ************************************************** ~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~ When nothing seems to help, I go and look at a stonecutter hammering away at his rock perhaps a hundred times without a much as a crack showing in it. Yet at the hundred and first blow it will split in two, and I know it was not that blow that did it—but all that had gone before. ~ Jacob Riis ~ Many times we may hear at a meeting that the length of time in the program isn't as important as the quality of the work we do. Someone with five years of recovery isn't necessarily healthier than someone with three years of recovery. No one accomplishes everything within a mere amount of time. The greatest achievements are the results of accumulated experience, maturity, and the application of healthy principles. Today is just a brief entry in our daily journals of recovery. What we do tonight may not draw all the loose ends of our lives together, but may tighten one or two a little more. Tomorrow holds great promise for us if we can see it as another page in our lives instead of as the whole book. Higher Power, help me forget my destination and remember instead the joy of journeying toward that place. ************************************************** ~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~ Avoiding greed Greed enslaves us to material things and diverts our values from the spiritual. As lust binds us to the animal plane, greed binds us to the material plane. We start to worship possessions. We begin to place love for the material before love for all living things or for our Higher Power. Greed can harden our conscience and become the greatest of slave drivers. As we work to be free from drugs, we must work to be free from greed or we will always be slaves. Greed will make us into liars, hypocrites, robbers, bribers, and extortionists. Living like that, we cannot stay clean and sober for long. Have I stopped being so materialistic? Higher Power, in your infinite mercy show me that material greed will only enslave me. Set me free. Today I will give the following material thing away God help me to stay clean and sober today! ************************************************** ~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~ My tidiness, and my untidiness, are full of regret and remorse and complex feelings. ~ NATALIA GINZBURG ~ Newcomer Even though I've done steps Four through Nine, my defects haven't all disappeared. Now that I've started doing Step Ten, just taking a few minutes once a day for a "spotcheck," what comes up isn't new. For the most part, it's stuff that I've had problems with for a long time. Am I ever going to change? Sponsor If you think about how much you've changed already, you'll get some idea of what an unstoppable process recovery is for those who stay committed to it. We may unconsciously cling to some of our defects because of positive things they do for us. Perhaps they keep us in familiar situations, protecting us from having to try new approaches. Perhaps they serve to ward other people off so that we don't have to face them. Perhaps we're hoping that we won't have to do anything ourselves to address our limiting characteristics-that somehow, in time, they'll just go away. We can think of our so-called defects as challenges. Our discomfort is a source of information: it reveals that there are things our Higher Power wants us to work through over time. Today, I let my daily inventory inform me of what I want to change. I make small changes today. ************************************************** ~ THE EYE OPENER ~ All men eventually die, it might he said that we live to die. The way we die is usually the way we live. Dying is the last thing we do on this earth, but certainly we do not live just to die. Living would not be worthwhile if that were so. The only worthwhile purpose of living is that those whose lives we come in contact with will be enriched thereby. If you live so that others will live more abundantly then you are performing the purpose of your little life. ************************************************** ~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~ Burden No Longer Lord, take away this ache in my heart. I know I have asked this of You before. This ache consumes my every waking moment, haunts my dreams, weakens my spirit. I pray You take this from me so the burden is no longer my own, but ours together. I have wasted enough energy and am ready to turn it over to You completely. I believe in You and Your will for me. ************************************************* ~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~ WHEN When your knees are knocking together, and you do not know which way to turn—think of God and His goodness. When prosperity seems out of the question—give thanks for God's abundance. When you want peace of mind—dwell upon the Presence of God. When your health is under par—speak the healing Word. When you need inspiration—browse through the Bible. When the situation seems to need a miracle—remember that nothing is too difficult for God, and that He is He is performing miracles every day. I will not fail thee, nor forsake thee (Joshua 1:5). ************************************************** ~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~ About Time Get over it. ~ from the song, “Get Over It,” by The Eagles ~ Ben Cohen and Shoshana Hadad had a rude awakening when the State of Israel told them their marriage was not legal because Shoshana's noble ancestor married a peasant—in 580 B.C. That’s a 2,5OO-year punishment! Have you been punishing yourself or someone else for something that happened a long time ago? Any payoff you perceive for hording a grudge is an illusion; there is no value, only a weighty price. A friend of mine in chiropractic school showed me a diagram of what happens to a human body in the throes of anger or rage. All kinds of chemicals are released into the system that exact a heavy toll on our health and vitality. A Course in Miracles tells us that true forgiveness is a “selective forgetting." our pain comes not from what happened to us in the past, but from holding on to painful memories. It is within our power to release the thoughts that trouble us. The course also reminds us, “I can elect to change thoughts that hurt." Jesus was asked, "How many times should we forgive—seven?” Jesus's answer was clear: "seventy times seven,” meaning just keep on letting go. We must remember that forgiveness is more of a gift to ourselves than to the person we are forgiving. Today, declare liberation day. open the prison door, and ret the war of fear end. Give me the willingness to let go. Let me perceive no value in holding hurtful thoughts. I want to be free. I release the past and get on with my life. |
October 27
Step by Step Today, understand that recovery gives us the freedom not to live within the confines of alcoholism and, instead, live in the boundless possibilities of sobriety. As a recovering alcoholic, I know – or at least, I better know – what I cannot do and, in trying to work toward or maintaining sobriety, I may be fighting what I cannot do. But in recovery, I am not confined by what I cannot do in alcoholism and any other “ism” and do not have to fight sobriety. As such, I need to understand the distinction between fighting not to drink and simply letting sobriety be. Today, I have the freedom to live not in the problem of alcoholism but living in the solution of simply not drinking. Today, I choose to live in the solution, not in the problem. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M. ************************************************** ~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~ PATIENCE How poor are they that have no patience. ~ Shakespeare ~ Patience is important to our growth and peace of mind. Without patience, we would have difficulty holding down anxiety, anger, envy, and unreasonable pride. Patience has often prevented disaster threatened by a loose tongue or an impulsive fist. Patience has taught us to stay cheerful in hard times, and to quickly forgive mistakes. Faith, peace, love, and humility all "study" in the school of patience. We learn patience from nature's careful maturing of crops. Baby chicks are born from letting eggs hatch, not by quickly smashing the shell. We are reminded that time is a faithful servant. When we set goals that we can reach and are patient with our progress, we save ourselves a lot of anxiety. Happiness is not having what we went, but wanting what we have. I need to be patient, but I don't have to "grin and bear it." I can accept reality, then take careful, positive action. ************************************************** ~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~ Those who are waiting are waiting very actively... The secret of waiting is the faith that the seed has been planted, that something has begun. A waiting person is someone who is present to the moment, who believes that this moment is the moment. ~ Henri Nouwen ~ We know that readiness is one of the important ingredients in change. We may have heard the same thing many times in the past, but one day, when someone says it again, we suddenly hear it with ready ears. At that moment, the familiar words hit their target and we understand a deep truth for the first time. In recovery, we don’t just sit around passively waiting. We actively examine ourselves and our conscience. We practice honesty. We make amends for our wrongs and seek conscious contact with a Higher Power. All these practices are ways to prepare ourselves to receive the gifts of recovery. Today, as I wait for the grace of God, I am actively opening myself to receive it. ************************************************** ~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~ Find everyday reasons to dance. ~ Elisabeth L. ~ Just being alive is reason enough to dance, if we ponder it for a moment. It’s not an accident that we lived through sometimes terrifying experiences. Nor is it accidental that we are in our current set- llng. We are needed by our friends, our family, even the strangers among us. Let’s cherish our opportunities to be in the presence of these others today. Our lives are akin to a ballet. While learning the steps, we may stumble a bit, but the dance needs us all. Let’s never assume another person isn’t necessary to our own performance. If she is here, we need her. How has this all happened? we wonder. How did I get here? Can I pull off my part? Our doubts need not hinder us if we remember that we got here with help; we’ll fulfill our role with the same ready help. I can kick up my heels today and know that I can dance. All I need to do is listen for the music. ************************************************** ~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~ I am exercising for my recovery Before I got into dual recovery I experienced numerous physical problems. For a long time I didn't know what was wrong. In a way, I didn't care. But now in recovery I care very much. Dual recovery teaches me that addiction and psychiatric illness are also physical diseases. Just as I pray and meditate to help with my spiritual symptoms, and just as I go to Step meetings and counseling to help with my emotional symptoms, so too will regular exercise help my body. This is my physical recovery. If I exercise regularly I will help repair any damage I've done and I'll be strong for each day's effort. Today I will come up with a brief, simple exercise routine I can do every day. ************************************************* ~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~ The weight of this sad time we must obey, Speak what we feel, not what we ought to say. ~ William Shakespeare ~ Letting others know how we feel is risky. There is a chance they won’t care or understand. In a Twelve Step program, however, this is unlikely. We go there to be healed and quickly learn that healing requires us to speak honestly about our pain. When our peers ask us to share our feelings they have a good reason. They know from personal experience that the most important action in recovery is to talk honestly about what has happened and is happening to us. To maintain our recovery, we need to stay honest with at least one person. Meetings give us a chance to talk honestly about our real selves — maybe for the first time. We soon realize that our fellowship is not standing in judgment, but is hurting along with us and feeling for us. They hear us and offer us their love and support. Honesty isn’t often easy at first, but it gets easier as we learn how comforting and strength-giving the rewards are. Today help me be honest with others. Help me share my pain that I may grow through it. ************************************************** ~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~ Self-pity is easily the most destructive of the non-pharmaceutical narcotics; it gives momentary pleasure and separates the victim from reality. ~ John W. Gardner ~ You may think that your problems are much greater than those of others. You may believe your feelings, wants, and needs are of greater importance. You insist on being heard at every meeting. You expect your sponsor to be readily available to you. I When your sponsor does not meet your needs or when [Others at the meeting cut you off, you are convinced such treatment is par for the course. You are tired of others treating you that way. So you cut ties with your sponsor and that fellowship. One day your new sponsor tells you that you are self-ish and self-centered, and adds, “Believe it or not, the World does not revolve around you.” But before you can reply your sponsor says, “You can ask someone else to be your sponsor. I’m cool with that. But I guarantee you, unless you get off your pity pot and realize there are other people besides you in this world, things will end up the lame way. Do you want to spend your time in recovery hiring and firing sponsors? Or would you like to learn how to give and receive help, support, comfort, and understanding? It’s your choice.” Today I will remember that I share the world with others. ************************************************** ~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~ I observe myself and so I come to know others. ~ Lao-tzu ~ If we could view a film of ourselves at the end of the day, we would see ourselves as others see us. We would notice our facial expressions and tone of voice and body language. We would be able to see our actions and reactions. We could study ourselves closely and learn so much more. How wonderful it would be if we could take an equally close view of those around us! Think of how much we could learn about those close to us if only we paid attention to their facial expressions, their tone of voice, and their body language. We would get to know them and understand them so much sooner if we only paid attention to them the way we sometimes pay attention to ourselves. If we observe ourselves, we will be able to understand the same actions and reactions in others. The mirror we place before ourselves is but a reflection of those around us. Can I take the time tonight to observe my actions? How can I use such insight to learn about other people? ************************************************** ~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~ Affecting those around us Addiction is not a lone disease; it is surrounded by people who play a part in keeping the cycle going. These people—usually family, peers, co-workers, and sometimes even therapists—experience offshoots of the disease. When a person gets stoned, those around him or her most likely react negatively. The addict reacts to their reaction by getting stoned again. So the downward cycle continues. We need to be aware that the loved ones around us may be in need of help also. They become a part of our illness and need a way out just as much as we do. Do I try to empathize with those close to me? Higher Power, may I not expect my abstinence to make the ones around me "shape up,” because they have been a part of my illness for a long, long time. Today I will examine my impact on those around me and God help me to stay clean and sober today! ************************************************** ~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~ Hell has three gates: lust, anger, and greed. ~ BHAGAVAD GITA ~ Newcomer I've really gotten into diet and exercise in a big way, and I'm spending a lot of time working out and preparing health food. I've started going to a weekly spiritual service, too, and getting involved with some community work. I feel as if I'm racing ahead in my recovery. Sponsor Each of these things sounds worthwhile, but the number of them and the demand you're making of yourself to "race ahead" make me wonder whether you can sustain so many activities at the same level without burning out. Take the areas of food and exercise, for example. Transforming the way we eat, becoming conscious consumers, is one of the most radical changes we can make. It involves a surrender, a sense that our Higher Power is in charge of the process of change, rather than a clenched effort to control. When we start thinking in terms of rapid weight change, rather than of a commitment to conscious eating and healthful, moderate meals, then we risk moving into obsession. Gentleness and moderation at the beginning of an exercise program or other demanding new endeavor is a more reliable route to consistent, long-term commitment than an overly demanding schedule we'll soon tire of, In recovery while we don't postpone dealing with obstacles to sober living, we don't have to rush to change every detail of our lives at once. We can take time to savor and enjoy new directions. Today, I don't treat my recovery as some kind of race; I remember "Easy does it"—but do it. ************************************************** ~ THE EYE OPENER ~ Gifts are usually given for favors already given or for favors expected. Even the sudden outburst of affection from friend wife, is frequently followed by a glowing description of a dress she saw downtown. The gift of AA is one exception. We give AA away because it is the only way we can keep it ourselves. ************************************************** ~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~ The Grace of God God’s grace is a gift. Grace is the love and generosity of God. Not until we felt defeated and made an active surrender were we open to this gift of help from our Higher Power. I pray to receive God's grace in its many forms. It is the hope we feel after a good night's rest, the good feelings we get attending our meetings. I pray to stop trying to control everything and to stop missing the many gifts of God's grace. The grace of God surrounds me even in difficult times. Returning to that message renews my strength. ~ Adapted from Touchstones, September 18 ~ ************************************************* ~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~ AN EXPERIMENT Try this experiment today. Select one particular thing in your life that is not going well and you wish to make right. Next consider the matter in the light of your knowledge of God and of prayer. Realize that this thing cannot remain inharmonious or negative once you know the Truth about it. Realize that you are now knowing the Truth and claim that the divine Power in you is now healing the condition completely and permanently. Then give thanks. Remember that praise and thanksgiving are the most powerful prayers of all. The next day, repeat your thanksgiving, until the answer comes. In between prayers you must keep your thought right concerning the problem. This is vital. All-day-long guiding of your thought cannot fail to bring your demonstration. My mediation of him shall be sweet: I will be glad in the Lord (Psalm 104:34). ************************************************** ~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~ No Mistake Doubt whom you will, but never yourself. ~ Christine Bovee ~ When I walked into the hotel room, my jaw dropped, and my eyes opened to saucer size. The room looked straight out of the Palace of Versailles—thick padded gold wallpaper, gold-leaf French colonial furniture, a separate sitting room, and ultra-plush decor. “There must be some mistake,” I thought, looking at my key. When I called my sponsor to double-check if her organization had se–lected such an elegant room for me, she answered, “Of course it’s for you! We appreciate you and want you to be comfortable.” Okay, I can live with this, I thought. If we believe we are unworthy, we will question or doubt our good when it comes to us. We will believe there is some hidden motive or catch, or we may fear that it will be snatched away as easily as it came. If we know our worth, we will attract and accept our blessings in a spirit of joy and celebration. We will see our experience as an affirmation that we live in an abundant universe, and delight in passing generosity along at our next opportunity. Today I will walk in the dignity in which You created me. Thank you, God, for all of Your treasures and blessings. I accept love in all forms. I allow an abundant universe to shower its gifts upon me. |
October 28
Step by Step Today, if I still hold onto emotions like resentment, anger, grief or bitterness and will not or cannot yet free myself of them, today I at least will not take on other feelings that I cannot handle. Recovery is partly about getting rid of the garbage and self-defeatism acquired before and during my drinking days; it is not about acquiring more of the same. In refusing to take on any more, I at least will have something less to work through and, in fact, might be able to take on what exists one feeling at a time. Today, my recovery will focus on getting rid of what needs to be gone and not on collecting more of what I do not need. All I need remember is to “Let Go and Let God,” and not take back that of which I let go. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M. ************************************************** ~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~ STINKING THINKING I affirm life; I challenge problems; I accept responsibility; I believe in God; I live today. ~ Elizabeth Lamb ~ It's not good looks, a charming personality, or brain power that keeps us in recovery. It's our attitude that makes the difference. Our disease is characterized by the reality of relapse. Most relapses come from a bad attitude. In the Fellowship, we call that stinking thinking. Attitudes lead us toward a healthy and happy recovery or into relapse. It's our choice. When our attitudes are bad, we "talk the talk, but don't walk the walk." We tell people what they want to hear, but we really don't believe what we're saying. We act grandiose. We think we don't need to follow all the principles and disciplines of the Program. Stinking thinkers keep their minds closed. They are defensive and blame others for their problems. Having a bad attitude doesn't always lead to relapse, but it's like putting one foot out the door. When my thinking starts to stink, I check my commitment to my recovery and remember I am responsible for the attitudes I choose. ************************************************** ~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~ Men can’t always do what a man’s gotta do to feel like a man and still do what a man’s gotta do to be a man. ~ Frank Pittman ~ In this program, we are living a little bit outside of the mainstream. We are more focused on being the real thing than on appearances. In the popular image, a real man is self-sufficient, strong, invulnerable, able to withstand any challenge and go it alone. Playing that role might make us feel like a man, but we are still left with insecurities because we know that inside we are just putting up a front. To be a man, we are stronger when we are big enough to accept our weaknesses and make no excuses for them. Of course, we don’t have to bare our souls to everyone. But we develop genuine, trusting friendships and we are honest with ourselves and with trusted friends. We show love to our loved ones. We may have been taught that being vulnerable makes us not masculine. But we are amazed to find that we are more approachable and more interesting when we are genuine. Today I accept my vulnerabilities and my loving feelings and allow my trusted friends to know me as I am. ************************************************** ~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~ There is magic in our souls. The adventure of recovery is finding that magic and allowing it to come forth. ~ Dudley Martineau ~ Our lives are so different now that we are in recovery. The smallest problems used to plague us. Seldom did we know how to handle even minor conflicts. Our confidence waned. Faith was even more remote. Now our lives seem magical at times. How profoundly different each day, each experience looks to us now. But where has the magic come from? How can a simple program with only a suggested set of guide-lines change everything about our lives? Reading words like these, going to meetings, seeking the counsel of a sponsor on a regular basis, and making the Twelve Steps central to our lives is all the effort it takes. We discover that nothing overwhelms us anymore. And we have guardian angels who will direct every action if we so choose. There’s the magic. I will let the magic of this program work for me today. I won’t be at a loss when I must come to any decision today. ************************************************** ~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~ I am letting go of blame My first response to my dual disorder was to ignore it. Then I didn’t believe it. Then I denied it. As I came to see that I couldn’t just wish it away, I looked for a scapegoat. If I had to suffer, someone or something was at fault. One by one, I blamed my illnesses on parents, family, job, god, bad luck-but mostly, and most hurtfully, I blamed them on myself. But now, with a period of sobriety and stability, I see how little it matters who or what is to blame. What I experience are two no-fault biological illnesses. What I am learning in my journey is that the more energy I concentrate on recovery, the healthier and happier I'll be. I will pray to release myself (and others) from blame. ************************************************* ~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~ A little neglect may breed great mischief. ~ Benjamin Franklin ~ Some of us neglected our families during active addiction. Our pain was so great that we had nothing left to offer others. We retreated into our own world, leaving our families wondering where we had gone. We may have neglected our families financially, too, spending everything we had to feed our addiction. We may find it easy to fall into the same pattern again, neglecting our families as we pursue recovery. We must find a balance between our own needs and the needs of our families. Our recovery must come first, but it should never be the only priority in our new lives. Financial stability is important, but we need to spend time with those we love. Asking our families how they feel, and listening carefully to them, can help us regain our balance. Talking to them openly can help heal old wounds and misunderstandings. We don’t do this until we are ready, but when we are, it is an important and loving part of our recovery, and the recovery of our family. Today help me recover my balance. Help me be compassionate toward the needs of my family. ************************************************** ~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~ To be a leader, you have to make people want to follow you, and nobody wants to follow someone who doesn’t know where he is going. ~ Joe Namath ~ There are two components to sponsorship: finding a sponsor and being one. It is recommended that new-comers get a sponsor during the first month of sobriety, If you are unsure who to ask, ask others if they would recommend someone for you. To be a good sponsor, you need to be able to provide insight about the Steps and the philosophy and purpose of the program. If you have worked through the Steps with your own sponsor, then you will be familiar with the process and serve as a good guide when the person you are sponsoring begins Step work. It is important for you to be available to attend some meetings with the person you are sponsoring. Also, understand that you may receive late-night phone calls, By the same token, set boundaries so you are able to pay attention to your own sobriety and so the person you are sponsoring does not become overly dependent upon you, Provide encouragement so the person you are sponsoring speaks at meetings, shares with others, and develops a relationship with a Higher Power. One of the greatest tools of the program is having a sponsor or being one. ************************************************** ~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~ Tears may linger at nightfall, but joy comes in the morning. Carefree as I was, I had said, 'I can never be shaken.' But, Lord, it was Thy will to shake my mountain refuge. . . . ~ from Psalm 30 ~ A great force has shaken us from our caves of isolation. We may have first felt this force at our first meeting. Somehow, we knew we had made the right choice. We belonged. We next felt this force during a time of incredible need and fear. We may have wanted to run to the farthest reaches of our caves, but once again we felt something telling us to stay vulnerable and remain exposed. We may then have fallen to our knees or simply closed our eyes and silently asked for help. Our prayers have been answered. Today we know we always have that cave to run into, but we seem to need it less. The great force that shook us from our refuge also gave us refuge. Tonight—as always—we are safe and secure as we stand exposed to the world. There is a great force in my life who has saved me from isolation, desolation, and despair. I feel wonderful because of this! ************************************************** ~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~ Harmonizing conflicts Our doubts and conflicts are strong reminders that we are not living harmoniously with our Higher Power’s will for us. These conflicts grow out of our own attempt to give meaning and significance to our lives, rather than letting our Higher Power fill our lives with meaning and significance. Our own meaning is usually based on ego, money, and pleasure. The meaning we desire comes through love, patience, and kindness, practices we often resist. If we lived according to our Higher Power’s will, doubts and conflicts would not exist. We have gauges to measure our conscious contact. Harmony in our lives means we are working with our Higher Power. Conflict in our lives means we are straying from our Higher Power. Is my life full of harmony? Higher Power, keep me on course; keep me from drifting away from your will for me today. I will peacefully work at resolving the following conflict today by God help me to stay clean and sober today! ************************************************** ~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~ Nothing is more difficult than competing with a myth. ~ FRANQOISE GIROUD ~ Newcomer I've been spending time with someone I have a lot in common with. We've spent the last several weekends doing things together; I assumed that I could count on company for a weekend outing that's coming up. Now it tums out that my friend isn't willing to go. I'm really upset; I guess I'm overreacting, but my first thought was that this isn't much of a relationship if I'm going to end up by myself on a weekend. Sponsor It sounds as if you have a solid basis for a continuing connection with this person, and that you've reached one of those bumps in the road that occur in all relationships between real human beings. Differences are a part of life; conflicting wishes often have to be negotiated. Many of us approach both friendship and romance with mythical notions of perfection. When the myth is challenged, we may be tempted to leave and find a "better" partnership, without attempting to resolve the problem. Anger, loneliness, and pain occur in good relationship, relationships that are worth keeping and working on. Sometimes what we've believed to be a relationship problem is instead a problem within ourselves. Exploring these questions usually involves experiencing some discomfort. It's part of any growth process. Today, I don't expect one person to meet all of my needs, all of the time. I accept that relationships worth keeping have their imperfections and limitations. ************************************************** ~ THE EYE OPENER ~ Carrying your own troubles may be likened to a man trying to pick up a board that he is standing on. He has his own weight to contend with as well as the weight of the board. It is much easier to carry the other man's burdens for we are standing away from the problem. We can view the problem impersonally and thoughtfully. We can show him where he is standing in his own way, direct him to take hold of his end of the problem and allow us to lift the other end. The weight, distributed between the two of us, will become relatively easy to handle. ************************************************** ~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~ A New Freedom and Happiness Dear God, I remember the days that were controlled by my desires. The constant need to bow to the demands of my addiction. It made all decisions for me. There was a false freedom and a small bit of happiness. Thank You, God, for helping me work the first nine Steps of our Program. I am no longer a slave to my addictions. Freedom has come with abstinence, so has joy, gratitude, and love for others and myself. I have more work to do. God help me on my journey. ************************************************* ~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~ SHACK OR PALACE? There is no use in merely saying everything will be all right. Thinking rightly, of course, means putting God into all your affairs and expecting him to change them. For example, if you are living in a shack it is not any good pretending that it is a palace. Cheap optimism is never spiritual. Realize that you are living in a shack, but claim the Presence of God to guide you to something better. Teach me thy way, O Lord, and lead me in a plain path. . . (Psalm 27:71). ************************************************** ~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~ Walking the Talk The louder he talked of his honor the faster we counted out spoons. ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson ~ At a spiritual conference, a sum of money was stolen from the table of one of the vendors. The fellow became angry and sought to lay blame. When the theft was announced to find out if anyone in the large audience had any information, silence ruled. Then a speaker named Carolyn raised her hand and suggested, “I would be willing to auction off a counseling appointment and donate the money to the man who lost his income. Who will make the first bid? ” By the time the bidding was done, the auction yielded an income of more than twice the woman’s regular fee, which equaled the amount the vendor had lost. I was inspired by Carolyn’s willingness to help; it showed me that she is willing to live what she teaches. Such integrity is a magnificent demonstration that the spiritual path is only as real as we are willing to live it. Many of us talk a good game, but how many of us put it into action? Lao-Tse noted, “He who says, does not know. He who knows, does not say. ” We do not need to talk a lot about what we are doing; we just need to do it. When we talk too much, we dissipate the energy we could be putting into action. Words, although potentially powerful, are the least reliable index of who we are and what we believe. Emerson noted, “What you are speaks to me so powerfully that I can hardly hear what you are saying.” We can lie with words, but not with our being. We can fool ourselves and others with rhetoric, but only actions reveal who and what we really are. I pray to live what I believe. Help my action match my words. My deeds reflect my soul’s truth. I am integrated in thought, word, and action. |
October 29
Step by Step ” …(A) terrible thing happened. I ran out of people! Even my family didn’t have much use for me. When they saw me coming, they locked up the silverware and everything else of value. I felt very lonely and hurt, because nobody understood me. I felt very sorry for myself and attempted suicide on many occasions, making sure there was always somebody within reaching distance to see that I didn’t finish the job. Any time I tried to kill myself, I was either drunk or pilled up or both …” – Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, “They Lost Nearly All,” Ch 4 (“Belle of the Bar”), pp 478-79. Today: ” I ran out of people, ” …nobody understood me,” “I felt very sorry for myself.” What once was my prescription for life now sounds pathetic. I refused or couldn’t understand anyone else because I was too self-absorbed. I felt sorry for myself because I had nothing to give or even offer anyone else. And I ran out of people because I drove them away with my expectations that they make my wants and needs their total focus. As we sober up, we recover. As we recover, we see what we allowed our addictions to do to us and, in the end, what they did made us pathetic souls. In sobriety, I have no use, no excuse, no need and don’t want to be that pathetic creature who expects to be the focus of everyone else’s attention and, when I’m not, lash out in self-righteous indignation. I am not perfect in sobriety, but I don’t have to be and I’m grateful to say I’m not the pathetic self-seeker I once was. So it goes for progress in recovery. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M. ************************************************** ~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~ A SWELLED HEAD The true snob never rests; there is always a higher goal to attain, and there are, by the same token, always more and more people to look down upon. ~ Russell Lynes ~ Recovery feels good! It feels good to get a good night's sleep, eat right, have friends, and be more at peace. After a while on the Program our foggy minds cleared up. We could actually read and remember what we read. Our emotions calmed down. We felt proud of our progress. At moments like these we must remember by whose Power we achieve such joy. It is not our own. If we let ourselves think we did it all on our own, pride swells our head and stops our growth. We can become cocky, thinking we've got it made, and drift back to slippery people and places. A swelled head has no place in my Program. I must keep in mind that I didn't get this far to rest and stop growing. ************************************************** ~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~ The tragedy of life is what dies inside a man while he lives. ~ Albert Schweitzer ~ It is possible to be spiritually dead while walking around, living and breathing. Many of us have been there. We lost our way. Our hearts and our self-respect were dissolved by alcohol or chemicals and we became so involved in controlling others that we completely lost contact with the soul at our core. But even at that low ebb, some small glowing ember of spirit remained. In recovery, the hot embers have been fanned back to life. We may sense that we still have a long way to go, but even that feeling rises from a live spirit within us. It’s never a matter of how well developed our spirituality is, but whether we are in touch with it or not. Once we begin to have a relationship with our soul, with our Higher Power, we are alive at our core. Today I am grateful for the spiritual life I am leading. ************************************************** ~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~ Clarifying my own values is an important ingredient in my using the Serenity Prayer. From that I have the “wisdom to know” the things I can and cannot change about a situation. ~ Rose Casey ~ This program helps us discover our values. Doing a moral inventory and then weighing our assets and shortcomings gives us clarity regarding the person we are and the person we hope to become. Let’s not be concerned that we didn’t know ourselves before. The past is past; today is where our opportunities begin. Today will offer us a host of experiences about which we must make decisions, form judgments, take actions. If we know our values, we will not be troubled by these experiences. And yet living according to our values takes practice. We were probably good at doing what others did to fit in. Taking the risk of not fitting in is a profound decision that can benefit us in untold ways. My values will guide me as I decide what to do in every situation I face today. Without this program, I’d still be in constant quandaries. ************************************************** ~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~ I feel better when I stay active I remember one day when I first felt deeply depressed. I was sitting in a chair, overwhelmed and unsure how to cope. I sensed my dark thoughts getting darker. Eventually I could hardly move, hardly think. I felt paralyzed. These days as I look back, I'm actually grateful for that experience—not because I enjoyed it, but because it still teaches me what to avoid. I now see that depressive symptoms are a signal for me to get active. I've learned that painful thoughts slow me down and that inactivity reinforces the pain. Action, however, helps keep my mind clear and gives me energy. To avoid getting bogged down in painful thoughts, I need to be physically active on a regular basis. Today I will be physically active for twenty minutes. ************************************************* ~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~ Learning to laugh makes the universe fall away. ~ Kay Caskey ~ Laughter gives us a different perspective. It is the great healer of spirits and hearts and it dissolves barriers between ourselves and others. When we laugh with another human being we build bridges instead of walls. Laughter helps us close the distance in our relationships. Laughter relaxes us from the ground up. Sometimes it is only after a good laugh that we realize how much tension we were carrying. It’s like putting down a heavy load and sighing with relief at how light we feel. Laughter even strengthens our immune system and promotes healing. It boosts our self-esteem and emotional well-being. Laughter is a true friend. Sometimes we forget to invite it into daily life, but we delight in welcoming it back. Today let me realize the healing qualities of laughter in my life. ************************************************** ~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~ God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference. ~ Reinhold Niebuhr, from “The Serenity Prayer” ~ The Serenity Prayer has become both a staple and one of the most powerful tools of the recovery program. The first phrase lets you understand that God, a Higher Power, or your personal concept of a greater presence is available to you. It applies the word serenity to the process of accepting the things you cannot change in your life. The second phrase uses the word courage as it advises you to think about what you can change in your life. The third phrase provides the word wisdom in reference to the knowledge you gain by learning how to differentiate between what you are capable of changing and those things you cannot change. The Serenity Prayer can provide guidance and support In other areas of life. If you are having a difficult time in your job, with your family, or in any other area in which you feel helpless or stuck, say the Serenity Prayer. Listen to the meaning contained within each phrase so you can learn how to let go of the people, places, and things you | cannot change and focus instead on the actions you can take to effect positive change in yourself. I will use the Serenity Prayer whenever I need guidance. ************************************************** ~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~ Call on God, but row away from the rocks. ~ Indian proverb ~ Wouldn't it be foolish if we sat in our room tonight and moaned about how dark it is? All we would have to do is reach over and turn on the light. Yet aren't there times when we call on God to help us when we can really help ourselves? Establishing a conscious contact with our Higher Power doesn't mean we're going to build a dependency on this Power. This Being doesn't exist for us to make request after request for things we can do ourselves. It's okay to ask for God's safety and guidance in the midst of difficult situations, but it's up to us to take the initiative for our own safety and well-being. Whenever we need guidance, safety, security, peace, and strength, we can certainly call on our Higher Power. But let's make sure we take responsibility when it’s needed. God works through us, not for us. What can I take responsibility for in my life tonight? Help me help myself. ************************************************** ~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~ Thirteenth-Stepping Thirteenth-Stepping is the act of moving too fast too soon, confusing lust for love. Some recovering addicts latch on to a newcomer in the fellowship, attempting to fulfill their own sexual desires. This has been called Thirteenth-Stepping. Newcomers—who are feeling ashamed, helpless, and lonely—are only too glad to grab on to someone for a little security. But newcomers need, above all, to learn to stay clean and sober. To Thirteenth-Step a person only makes one concentrate on the relationship rather than on the program. Do I know how to Twelfth-Step without getting too involved? Higher Power, help me to stop with the Twelfth Step. Today I will look at my sexuality and God help me to stay clean and sober today! ************************************************** ~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~ Never bend your head. Always hold it high. Look the world straight in the face. ~ HELEN KELLER ~ Newcomer Sometimes I still feel shame about having this addiction. It comes up when I'm with nonprogram friends and have to go to a meeting. It comes up when a relative says, "you mean you're still going to those meetings?" Sponsor The stigma attached to having an addiction has lessened because of widespread awareness of Twelve Step recovery programs and an understanding of heredity and the "disease concept" of addiction. While there may still be some who believe that addiction is a moral deficiency that willpower can eliminate, most of us who are in programs of recovery have let go of this incorrect belief. Though guilt and shame are often experienced together, they are different. We feel guilty about an incident or behavior; the process of acknowledgment and amends addresses guilt for things we wish we hadn't done. Shame is an attitude we have toward some aspect of ourselves. Few of us are entirely without it. Shaming others is one way that people try to cope with their own shame. I'm glad that you can talk about this lingering problem. Bringing shame out of darkness, sharing about it in appropriate ways with those we trust, is the path toward healing and freeing ourselves from it. Today, I face my old feelings of shame. I'm worthy of love and acceptance just as I am. ************************************************** ~ THE EYE OPENER ~ We human beings are no more miraculous than the ape organically. We do not even have some powers possessed by brute creation—for example, we cannot change color at will as can some reptiles. We can't change our physical make-up as the tadpole does when it becomes a frog, or a caterpillar when it changes into a butterfly. Yet we are the miracle of all miracles, for we alone have a soul, which enables us to transcend this planet and commune with God himself. ************************************************** ~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~ We Will Not Regret the Past My Creator, by cleaning house and taking my inventory I have been able to honestly face myself and stop hiding from the world and myself. I am learning what kind of person I am. This is necessary for maintaining abstinence and preventing a slip. Without awareness of what the past did to me, I cannot truly carry the message of hope and the gift of recovery to those who desperately need it. God, I pray to visit my past but never live in it for long. ************************************************* ~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~ PRAYING WITH A FEATHER Years ago many devoted preachers and Sunday School teachers were fond of telling people to "pray hard." Well-meaning as this advice was, it was mistaken. I often tell people to pray "soft," which, of course, means gently. I do this because I know that the more quietly and gently we pray, the better results we get. In prayer, as in many other activities, effort defeats itself. More than once I have said to my congregation, "Pray with a feather—not with a pickax." Always pray gently, and especially if you have a good deal of fear, or if your difficulty seems to be a very important one. For thou , Lord , art good , and ready to forgive; and plenteous in mercy unto all them that call upon thee (Psalm 86:5). ************************************************** ~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~ Spit It Out Truth is always straightforward. ~ Sophocles ~ Ben sat his eight-year-old daughter down to tell her that he and her mommy were getting divorced. He stammered and hedged for a few minutes, until the little girl finally blurted out, “Come on, Daddy, what are you—chicken? Why don’t you just spit it out? ” Children usually know the truth before we tell them. In their innocence and openness, their antennae are up, and they see things we believe we can keep concealed. Children exemplify a faculty we all have. Everyone is psychic, and everyone always knows what is going on. In your conscious mind, you may be asleep, but subconsciously you know the truth. There is a book entitled To Be Alive Is to Be Psychic. Many of us were quite psy–chic as children, but when our parents reprimanded us for talking about our intuitions, premonitions, or invisible playmates, we quickly learned to shut down and play dumb. Lies are perpetuated only when both parties agree to the lie. If someone lies to you, a place in you knows that what you have heard is untrue. If you do not confront the lie, it is because you have some investment in keeping the lie going. If more of us would own our ability to know the truth and tell it, the world would be quickly transformed. Practice telling the truth and calling others to tell the truth. If you see something that is not in integrity, shine the light on it. If you have something to say, imagine that the person you are going to address already knows it on some level. So do we come closer to living our true nature as omniscient beings. Give me the courage to speak the truth I know. Support me as I claim my higher knowing. The truth is my friend. Integrity empowers me to succeed. |
October 30
Step by Step “Men and women drink essentially because they like the effect produced by alcohol. The sensation is so elusive that, while they admit it is injurious, they cannot after a time differentiate the true from the false. To them, their alcoholic life seems the only normal one. They are restless, irritable and discontented, unless they can again experience the sense of ease and comfort which comes at once by taking a few drinks – drinking which they see others taking with impunity. After they have succumbed to the desire again, as so many do, and the phenomenon of craving develops, they pass through the well-known stages of a spree, emerging remorseful, with a firm resolution not to drink again. This is repeated over and over, and unless this person can experience an entire psychic change, there is very little hope of his recovery.” – Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, “The Doctor’s Opinion,” pp xxvi-vii. Today, if I cannot forget “the effect” of alcohol as I grew progressively drunker, let me never forget the morning after with its consequences, none of which I care to be responsible for anymore. If I can remember the morning-after costs and that they were my “bottom,” may they be potent enough to remove any desire to drink again because, should I drink again, there likely will be no a deeper bottom – if I survive. I abused that “firm resolution” not to drink again when I was hung over, or standing in front of a judge with my latest DUI or after I broke every promise I’d made to family and friends. A “firm resolution” is so easy then. It can be just as easy if I apply it to being sober – if I remember the consequence instead of “the effect.” Today, I don’t need or want to remember the effect: the consequences are enough. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M. ************************************************** ~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~ SELF-CONFIDENCE Alas, the fearful disbelief is disbelief in yourself. ~ Thomas Carlyle ~ Self-confidence is an important lesson we learn in our recovery. Most of us start our Program with little confidence in ourselves. As we work the Steps, we begin to be confident that we can be whatever we choose to be, if we want success enough and if we keep on growing. When we have no faith in ourselves, we have little chance of staying abstinent. Even the miracles of recovery cannot accomplish a better way of living if we don't believe they can. The more we share with fellow members, the greater will be our self-confidence that success is possible. In order to have and maintain self-confidence, and feel good mentally and physically, we need to keep our heads screwed on straight with clear and rational thinking. I can be whoever I make myself believe I can. ************************************************** ~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~ Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves. ~ Carl Jung ~ In our worst times, we have been irritable and difficult to live with. That is common among addicts and codependent people. And when we feel most irritable, we are least likely to look at ourselves. It is very useful now, in recovery, when someone irritates us, to ask what inside ourselves makes us so annoyed. We often find that the very thing that irritates us about someone else is the very quality in ourselves that we don’t want to face. When another man’s whining bugs us, maybe it is our own capacity for whining that we reject. When someone’s self-absorption gets under our skin, maybe we are sensitive about our own self-centeredness. Some-times we find it easier to complain about a quality in others than to admit we are like that too. Today I will use my feelings of irritation to guide me inward and know myself better. ************************************************** ~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~ It is time to enter into knots of fear and watch them uncurl into waves of love. ~ G. Carol ~ The fear that hinders most of us is due to our obsession to control the behavior of others. This fear, coupled with our compulsion to manage outcomes that are clearly beyond our control, keeps us stuck in situations that we need to grow beyond. We’re extremely fortunate to be part of this fellowship because we are surrounded by friends who understand our kind of fear and are willing to help us through scary times. We will have the opportunity to repay the favor many times over. We are all learning to handle fear and, thus, are discovering together that the risks we take in the company of one another prepare us for bigger challenges on our own. The empowerment that is guaranteed us will sustain our efforts as we take each new risk. With the help of friends, I can feel my fears and keep them in perspective. I will be able to feel more love when I let the fears go. ************************************************** ~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~ I need structure in my life As my dual disorder got worse, my life came apart. Addiction changed my patterns of sleep; it even changed my priorities in life. With the depression that followed, I lost interest in taking care of myself. Eventually I lost most interest in my life. But the daily routines of treatment helped. They showed me how putting structure back in to my life supports recovery. With the help of my counselors I worked out a recovery plan. Each day I set aside time to take care of my physical, emotional, and spiritual needs—my body, heart, and soul. Each day's plan is a little different, but all cover the basics I need to stay on track. I look forward to the benefits of structure. I will follow my plan closely to stabilize my life and strengthen my recovery. ************************************************* ~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~ My forgiveness may not mean anything to you, but it means everything to me. ~ Pat V. ~ Forgiveness of others is necessary to our wellbeing, too. If we don’t forgive, we are the ones who carry the pain, not those we resent. Our recovery program depends on our ability to let go of anger, resentment, and hurt. So our lives depend on being able to forgive others, even if it means nothing to them. We’ve all known people who cling to old anger and old sorrow, hoarding pain the way a miser hoards gold. There are people in middle age who still willingly hate their parents for things that happened in childhood, who stubbornly refuse to try to forgive the past. These people are doomed to live in it. Some of us fear forgiveness means opening ourselves up to pain again, or that it means we have to let them hurt us anew. That’s not true. We can forgive someone and still know they are dangerous to us or to our recovery. We can forgive someone and walk away, never to look back. But with forgiveness we let go of the anger, and with it the hurt. When we forgive, we are no longer victims. Today help me let go of anger and resentment. ************************************************** ~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~ Nothing sets a person up more than having something turn out just the way it’s supposed to be. . . ~ Claud Cockburn ~ Perhaps you know the story of the old man who saw hundreds of starfish littering a shoreline, exposed to sunshine by the low tide, and a child who was gently tossing the starfish—one by one—back into the water, “How can you possibly make a difference to these star-fish?” asked the man. “There are too many.” The child looked at the starfish she was holding and said, “It makes a difference to this one.” Another story, passed down from the Aztecs, provides a similar illustration of how one small effort can make a difference. A great fire raged in the forests that covered the earth. Terrified, people and animals began to flee. As an owl was winging out of harm’s way, it saw a tiny bird dart to a river, dip its beak into the water, and rush back toward the flames. There the bird opened its beak, released a few drops of water on the fire, and rushed back to the river. “What are you doing?” cried the owl. The bird replied, “I am doing the best I can with what I have.” The owl then summoned all of the people and animals to the river. Together, they put out the fire. Small favors and simple actions can bring about great change. ************************************************** ~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~ One cannot step twice in the same river, for fresh waters are forever flowing around us. ~ Heraclitus~ Do we sometimes feel bored with our lives? Do we feel like we're doing the same things, following the same schedules, working to get out of the same rut we've been trying to change for a long time? Do we wish to make changes, but don't know where to start? Imagine living in front of a wide, picturesque river. In the living room of the house is a spacious window that allows a magnificent view of the river. Every day we might see this same scene and believe it is never-changing. But in reality, it is ever-changing. Each day we see with new eyes. And each day nature astounds us with newness and growth. That water we're watching flow by today isn't the same water we saw yesterday. A stick thrown into the water yesterday is far downstream today. We can see this river in two ways: stagnant or flowing. So too can we see our lives. Tonight I can look at my life as if it were a river, always changing as it flows. ************************************************** ~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~ Following directions At times we are so squirrelly nothing seems to make much sense. This is not an unusual predicament for people who abuse drugs. At times like these we’re better off following the advice of other recovering addicts, whether it seems to make sense or not. We have proved that our judgment is not what it could be. We have nothing to lose by following directions from those who love us and have experienced our behaviors. When confused, we must decide to take our bodies to meetings. Our heads will follow. Am I receptive to the healthy suggestions of others? Higher Power, may I learn to turn to others for guidance when I know my own head is shot! Today I will seek help from God help me to stay clean and sober today! ************************************************** ~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~ I used to trouble about what life was for. Now being alive seems sufficient reason. ~ JOANNA FIELD ~ Newcomer I keep hearing, "This is a family disease," but I'm not sure I accept the idea that I've inherited it. I know people in this program whose parents and other close relatives don't have it. Sponsor Addiction doesn't have to affect every member of every generation of a family the same way to support the idea that it has a powerful effect on the family. Whether or not we believe that biology is where addiction starts, we can see that addictive behavior and coaddictive reactions are often learned in families. Whether a grandparent, parent, sibling, aunt, or cousin is dependent on a substance or compulsive behavior, his or her addiction has an impact on everyone else in the family system. The family is like a spiderweb: if we tug on any one part of it, the entire web vibrates. We don't have to ask why we have this disease. Instead, we can concentrate on developing the habits of recovery. We accept that we must replace our old addictive habits with healthful ones. Today, I focus on living in the present. Learning how to have a rich recovery is more important than wondering why I need this program. ************************************************** ~ THE EYE OPENER ~ Each and every one of us have what we have only by the Grace of God. Even if we acquired all our possessions through our own industry and intelligence, still you must admit that you gave yourself none of these attributes that made your acquisition possible. These were not necessarily inherited traits, for geniuses have had morons for children. You have what you have because God so willed it, so use them as God would will it. ************************************************** ~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~ Security and Peace As I have entered the Realm of Spirit, after shaking the bondage of addiction through the love, encouragement, deep concern, and help from newfound friends, I've begun to know what serenity feels like. Peace of mind is new to me. Serenity becomes refreshing and comfortable as I realize I am free and able to make sound choices for my life. That climate encourages serenity and peace. God, help me to grow toward maturity, serenity, and peace of mind. ************************************************* ~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~ TAIL WAGS DOG Man controls his own life. The Bible says that God has given him "dominion over all things," and this is true when he understands the Truth; and the Truth is that your outer conditions—your environment—are not cause; they are effect. You are not happy because you are well. You are well because you are happy. You do not have faith because things are going well. They are going well because you have faith. You are not depressed because trouble has come to you, but trouble has come because your realization of the Truth had first fallen off. The secret of life then is to control your mental states. To accept sickness, trouble, and failure as unavoidable, and perhaps inevitable, is folly, because it is this very acceptance by you that keeps these evils in existence. Man is not limited by his environment. He creates his environment by his beliefs and feelings. To suppose otherwise is like thinking that the tail can wag the dog. If you have been thinking that outer conditions are stronger than you are, say to yourself: "Tail wags dog" and immediately reverse the belief. . . . who didn’t hinder you that ye should not obey the truth? (Galatians 5:7). ************************************************** ~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~ Fast Forward If it walks out of the refrigerator by itself, let it go. ~ Anonymous ~ A woman in a seminar confessed, “Everything I have to let go of, I leave claw marks on." How do you respond when life asks you to let go of something you have valued? We are living in a time of incredibly rapid change. Many of us go through several marriages, careers, living situations, spiritual paths, and belief systems in a lifetime. We may feel guilty that we did not stay with one partner forever, or believe that there is something wrong with us because we change so much. But perhaps what you thought was wrong with you, is what is right with you. Perhaps in wisdom you chose to go through many experiences so you could master a host of lessons in one lifetime. If you lived a hundred years ago, your life would have been more stable. You would have been married to one partner for a lifetime, lived in one town, practiced one profession, and attended one church. You would not have questioned the beliefs handed to you and them; you would have passed them on to your children. The lessons of life came more slowly, and so did personal growth. Now, never before in history have so many chosen to learn so much in such a short time. Rather than requiring an entire lifetime to learn from a marriage or profession, we may move through the lessons in a number of years. When Barbara De Angelis, the well-known author who has written several books on relationships, was interviewed on a television news magazine show, the reporter rudely confronted her: “You've been married four times. How can you pass yourself off as a relationship expert when you're a four-time loser?" Barbara responded coolly, "l don't see myself as a four-time loser; I consider myself a four-time learner. Although those marriages didn’t last, I gained valuable insights and strengths that helped me bring more depth and presence to the relationships that followed.” If you feel like you're a loser because you've often changed relationships or jobs, re-identify yourself as a learner; if you’ve gained wisdom, the experience was a success. Rather than criticize yourself, honor your courage for being willing to grow through rapid change. Help me to bless my lessons as gifts. I value every experience as a lesson on love. I am better for what I have learned. |
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