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Even More Recovery Readings and Meditations - October
October 1
Step by Step "Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out." - Step 11, Alcoholics Anonymous Today, whether I have embraced the a higher power or am skeptical either as an atheist or agnostic, Step 11 suggests that I be at least open to the possibility of something greater and stronger than myself. I must also seek the will and way of something other than my own. This is the definition of humility - to be open to learning and carrying out the will of a power stronger and wiser than me. I cannot be reminded or jolted enough that history has proven time and again that running my life on my terms has always led to the same disastrous results and outcome; thus, the insanity of alcoholism. Today, I remember that I am dependent on a wiser and stronger power to guide me on a non-destructive course and that I am risking a slip or relapse if I forget that it hasn't worked my way. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M. ************************************************** ~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~ PINK CLOUDS Be not afraid of life. Believe that life is worth living and your belief will create the fact. ~ William James ~ Nearly all of us refer at some time to being on a "honeymoon of recovery." Whether we call it a "honeymoon” or "being on a pink cloud," the experience is the same. The recovery honeymoon is a natural state of well-being after we "get the monkey off our backs." The sensation of living on a pink cloud never has to leave us, but we can only keep it by moving into positive action and working our Program. This is a time of being physically, emotionally, and spiritually at peace with society and ourselves. It has been described as a time of joy that makes us feel we are climbing out of darkness into light. Like other miracles of recovery, pink clouds are reality, not fantasy. I can keep living on my "pink cloud" of recovery if I keep working at it and practicing gratitude and humility. ************************************************** ~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~ Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted. ~ Albert Einstein ~ In following the healing way, we open ourselves to truths that can never be established as concrete facts. Some of us have always been comfortable with a spiritual outlook. But some of us were hurt by damaging or even abusive experiences in religious institutions and gave up on them as meaningless. Now we all come together on a path that takes a very wide view of spirituality while making spiritual ideas central. It is reassuring to learn that one of the greatest scientists of all time had a firm respect for realities that could not be pointed to or quantified. He excelled in the practical, objective world of science and he also knew about spiritual truth. Now we, too, are learning how our spiritual life creates miracles we could not bring about by the force of our will. Today I am grateful to be tuned in to those forces that are outside objective, concrete reality. ************************************************** ~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~ As our spirituality grows and changes, we can allow our image of God to change. ~ Ruth Schweitzer-Mordecai ~ As children we may have pictured God as a man with long hair, a beard, and flowing robes. For some of us, that image may still be the most comfortable. As adults, however, we have the freedom to define God however we wish. Hearing our sisters share their perceptions of a Higher Power has given us the courage to create whoever we need. God may not even be an image some days, but only a feeling. The brilliant light reflecting off the drops of morning dew, the delicate hum of the hungry hummingbird, or the radiance of an American Beauty rose may whisper of the presence of God. A passage we read in a time-worn book may also remind us of God’s reality. Whether it’s a feeling, a few words, a specific image, or a profound experience, God will be as real in our lives as we are willing to allow. The more I believe in God today, the easier will be my journey. I am not alone. The presence is always with me. ************************************************** ~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~ I am becoming more responsible Once a week I agreed to check in with my clinic and get a urine screen. I agreed to go to at least three meetings each week. I agreed to check in with my sponsor every day. I realize these are important, useful commitments, but I feel controlled; I feel as though I am unworthy of trust. On the other hand, can I really be trusted these days? In the past I have promised to stay sober and then got high, promised to take my meds and then failed to even fill the prescription. It is hard to own up to, but maybe I need this structure for a while. And following through on these commitments will help me earn trust. Even though I resent it now it may well help me to recover. Today I will practice doing what I say I'm going to do. I will check in with my sponsor and take my (prescribed) medication. ************************************************* ~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~ If there is one thing we all can drop, it is criticism.... If we come to a place of acceptance and self-love, it is easier to make changes. ~ Louise Hay ~ Virginia Satir once said, “You don’t help anybody by scolding them.” Criticism is a sharp weapon that we have used against ourselves and probably against others, sometimes with severe consequences. When it is constructive and offered with sensitivity, grace, and dignity, then criticism may be helpful, but not otherwise. Most of us are our own sternest critics. To have someone else line up our “bad” qualities and march them before us only shames us more as it breaks our spirits and closes our ears. When we treat others this way, we’re left feeling mean-spirited and lonely. But we can let go. The more we work on loving and affirming ourselves and others, the better we are able to give and accept constructive criticism. Each thing we learn how to cherish in ourselves helps us see and be thankful for the beauty around us. Today let me be only a bearer of loving criticism and gentle suggestions. ************************************************** ~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~ Our deeds determine us, as much as we determine our deeds. ~ George Eliot ~ If everything in life were easy, then everyone would be a success. Each of us has a certain set of skills, talents, and abilities. It is up to us to develop our strengths anti to strive, to the best of our ability, to utilize these assets, yet you may be someone who has created limitations anti built imaginary ceilings in your life. Rather than move beyond these self-erected barriers, you may find comfort in hiding behind them. Until you challenge yourself— even in small ways—you will never know what you are capable of achieving. You can learn how to extend the boundaries of your limitations by first making a list of all of those things you would like to do or learn. Then write down why you have not taken action to make these things happen. The first list expresses your desires; the second list conveys the roadblocks that are preventing you from achieving your desires. Review your lists, and then select one desire you would like to pursue. Take actions that will help you move beyond the roadblock, and you may be surprised at what you really can do. Today I will take action to move beyond my limitations. ************************************************** ~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~ There seemed to be endless obstacles preventing me from living with my eyes open, but as I gradually followed up clue after clue it seemed that the root cause of them all was fear. ~ Joanna Field ~ How often have we complained that we would be able to do something if only another thing weren't preventing us. "I can't” is our answer when we look around us and see only potential obstacles to accomplishing something. We need to realize, however, that "I can't" is just another way of saying "I fear." If we took away our fearfulness, think of all we could do. There would be nothing to prevent us from taking risks, trying new things, going new places, becoming more intimate, changing careers, going back to school, taking a Fourth Step inventory, chairing a meeting, or sponsoring a newcomer. We can change our response of "I can't” to "I'll try." We can take the first step away from our fear toward trying something new. There are no obstacles in our path—only the ones we put there to protect us from things we fear. Higher Power, help me take the steps to change from "I can't" to "I can." ************************************************** ~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~ Learning about love Being straight, we are discovering the joys of love. Just as our old ideas about living had to change, our old ideas about love have to change. Love can’t always be measured by self-sacrifice or generosity. We can self- sacrifice ourselves into martyrdom or generosity ourselves into directing and man-aging others’ lives. Love doesn’t stipulate or limit. Does our Higher Power limit us? It loves us so much that it lets us go over the limit—to the point where we destroy ourselves. Few of us know much about the true nature of love, but when we are ready, our Higher Power reveals itself to us and shows us about love. Have I learned all about love? May I know with all my heart that my Higher Power is love. Today I will make myself ready to learn about love by God help me to stay clean and sober today! ************************************************** ~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~ Man did not weave the web of life; he is merely a strand in it. Whatever he does to the web, he does to himself. ~ CHIEF SEATTLE ~ Newcomer I've been looking at the Tenth Step, and I'm intimidated by the way it sounds. Isn't all this emphasis on being "wrong" a way of beating ourselves up? Sponsor I agree with you that gentleness with ourselves is a good policy in recovery. But we can be both gentle and honest at the same time: they're not opposites. We can't grow if we're not willing to look honestly at our actions and at their consequences. Whether in professional or personal relationships, we ourselves don't like dealing with people who can't be depended on to do what they've promised. We don't like selfishness or dishonesty in others. Why, then, should we gloss over these traits in ourselves? In recovery, we're in the process of developing deeper, more intimate relationships with ourselves. As in our relationships with other human beings, we need to be willing to see clearly and to acknowledge what isn't having a good effect on us or on others. I step back and take an honest look at how I'm living my life today. ************************************************** ~ THE EYE OPENER ~ Most of us have met persons whom we thought extremely homely until we knew them better. Then we ceased observing their lack of facial beauty and began to appreciate those persons for what they really were. George Washington and Abraham Lincoln were what might be called extremely homely men, yet the beauty and strength of their characters was such that practically all present day pictures show little of their ugliness. You can't do a whole lot to improve an ugly face, but you can hide it behind a lovely character. ************************************************** ~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~ Lack of Faith Dear God, help me to stop demanding maturity without the pains of experience and growth. It is both unreasonable and impossible. I need faith in the process to reach maturity. Lack of faith arrests my progress in recovery. Procrastination and scepticism are enemies of spiritual progress and attainment. Scepticism demands evidence of God’s help. Procrastination prevents it. Faith, willingness, and prayer overcome all obstacles and provide ample evidence of God’s help in our happy, clean, and sober lives. ~ Adapted from The Little Red Book, pages 38-39 ~ ************************************************* ~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~ THE ACTIVITY OF GOD Read Psalm 18:8-16. Thinking of one of his own experiences, the Psalmist says that the sorrows of hell compassed him about and the snares of death came upon him, and that he "cried unto God"—he went on praying—and that God came to his rescue. He says that the earth shook and trembled and that the very hills moved because God was wroth. Of course, the "earth" means your environment, and all the outer conditions that constitute your life experience at the present time. Thus the shaking and moving of these things means that all your conditions are being changed, naturally for the better. The "wroth" of God in the Bible always means the activity of God. It does not mean anger. . . . and the Highest gave his voice. . . (Psalm 18: l3). ************************************************** ~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~ When Your Heart Is Strong Throw your heart over the fence and the rest will follow. ~ Norman Vincent Peale ~ On the threshold of recording her blockbuster album Unforgettable, Natalie Cole wrestled with her soul. The notion of electronically marrying segments of her dad's famous 1951 song with her voice in response was a bold and unprecedented experiment in the music industry. But in spite of potential criticism, there was something inside Natalie that kept pushing her to go ahead with the project. Subsequently, the recording became a top-selling album, and the singer won numerous Grammy awards for it. Natalie looked back and summarized the process: "When your heart is really strong about something, there comes a point at which you just close your eyes and go for it." All the figuring, planning, and reasoning in the world will do you no good unless you are willing to follow your instincts. All healing occurs outside the safety zone. Sometimes all you have to work with is a compelling urge, and sometimes that is enough. It is said that "the heart has reasons that reason knows not of." Practice acting on your intuition. Faith is like a muscle-the more you use it, the stronger it becomes, and the greater your capacity to use it. If a particular venture keeps knocking at the door of your consciousness, it is likely that this is your direction. Ask yourself, "Can I not do it?" If you cannot not do it, your path is obvious. Speak to me through my heart. Compel me to do the will of love. Empowered by joy, I follow my path with courage and confidence. |
October 2
Step by Step “It would be wonderful were I able to tell you that my confidence in God and my application of the Twelve Steps to my daily living have utterly banished fear. This would not be the truth. The most accurate answer I can give you is this: Fear has never again ruled my life since that day …when I found that a Power greater than myself could not only restore me to sanity but could keep me both sober and sane. Never in 16 years have I dodged anything because I was afraid of it. I have faced life instead of running away from it.” – Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, Alcoholics Anonymous Number Three, Ch 9 (“The Man Who Mastered Fear”), pp 284-85. Today: fear of what? Of the uncertain but predictable consequences of drinking? Of the untested and unfamiliar path of sobriety? Of taking responsibility for the consequences of my actions when drunk, when sober? Of telling someone I’m sorry? Of admitting that I can’t do it alone anymore, that I need something better and stronger than myself? Of the risk of opening myself knowing that once the heart is open nothing will ever be the same? Of facing fear? Of what more fear will do to me? Today, if on nothing more than blind faith in something stronger and greater than myself, I confront my fears because I’ve empowered them far too long. In facing them, God granting, may I have control of my fears – not the other way around. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M. ************************************************** ~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~ PINK CLOUDS Be not afraid of life. Believe that life is worth living and your belief will create the fact. ~ William James ~ Nearly all of us refer at some time to being on a "honeymoon of recovery." Whether we call it a "honeymoon” or "being on a pink cloud," the experience is the same. The recovery honeymoon is a natural state of well-being after we "get the monkey off our backs." The sensation of living on a pink cloud never has to leave us, but we can only keep it by moving into positive action and working our Program. This is a time of being physically, emotionally, and spiritually at peace with society and ourselves. It has been described as a time of joy that makes us feel we are climbing out of darkness into light. Like other miracles of recovery, pink clouds are reality, not fantasy. I can keep living on my "pink cloud" of recovery if I keep working at it and practicing gratitude and humility. ************************************************** ~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~ Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted. ~ Albert Einstein ~ In following the healing way, we open ourselves to truths that can never be established as concrete facts. Some of us have always been comfortable with a spiritual outlook. But some of us were hurt by damaging or even abusive experiences in religious institutions and gave up on them as meaningless. Now we all come together on a path that takes a very wide view of spirituality while making spiritual ideas central. It is reassuring to learn that one of the greatest scientists of all time had a firm respect for realities that could not be pointed to or quantified. He excelled in the practical, objective world of science and he also knew about spiritual truth. Now we, too, are learning how our spiritual life creates miracles we could not bring about by the force of our will. Today I am grateful to be tuned in to those forces that are outside objective, concrete reality. ************************************************** ~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~ As our spirituality grows and changes, we can allow our image of God to change. ~ Ruth Schweitzer-Mordecai ~ As children we may have pictured God as a man with long hair, a beard, and flowing robes. For some of us, that image may still be the most comfortable. As adults, however, we have the freedom to define God however we wish. Hearing our sisters share their perceptions of a Higher Power has given us the courage to create whoever we need. God may not even be an image some days, but only a feeling. The brilliant light reflecting off the drops of morning dew, the delicate hum of the hungry hummingbird, or the radiance of an American Beauty rose may whisper of the presence of God. A passage we read in a time-worn book may also remind us of God’s reality. Whether it’s a feeling, a few words, a specific image, or a profound experience, God will be as real in our lives as we are willing to allow. The more I believe in God today, the easier will be my journey. I am not alone. The presence is always with me. ************************************************** ~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~ I am becoming more responsible Once a week I agreed to check in with my clinic and get a urine screen. I agreed to go to at least three meetings each week. I agreed to check in with my sponsor every day. I realize these are important, useful commitments, but I feel controlled; I feel as though I am unworthy of trust. On the other hand, can I really be trusted these days? In the past I have promised to stay sober and then got high, promised to take my meds and then failed to even fill the prescription. It is hard to own up to, but maybe I need this structure for a while. And following through on these commitments will help me earn trust. Even though I resent it now it may well help me to recover. Today I will practice doing what I say I'm going to do. I will check in with my sponsor and take my (prescribed) medication. ************************************************* ~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~ If there is one thing we all can drop, it is criticism.... If we come to a place of acceptance and self-love, it is easier to make changes. ~ Louise Hay ~ Virginia Satir once said, “You don’t help anybody by scolding them.” Criticism is a sharp weapon that we have used against ourselves and probably against others, sometimes with severe consequences. When it is constructive and offered with sensitivity, grace, and dignity, then criticism may be helpful, but not otherwise. Most of us are our own sternest critics. To have someone else line up our “bad” qualities and march them before us only shames us more as it breaks our spirits and closes our ears. When we treat others this way, we’re left feeling mean-spirited and lonely. But we can let go. The more we work on loving and affirming ourselves and others, the better we are able to give and accept constructive criticism. Each thing we learn how to cherish in ourselves helps us see and be thankful for the beauty around us. Today let me be only a bearer of loving criticism and gentle suggestions. ************************************************** ~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~ Our deeds determine us, as much as we determine our deeds. ~ George Eliot ~ If everything in life were easy, then everyone would be a success. Each of us has a certain set of skills, talents, and abilities. It is up to us to develop our strengths anti to strive, to the best of our ability, to utilize these assets, yet you may be someone who has created limitations anti built imaginary ceilings in your life. Rather than move beyond these self-erected barriers, you may find comfort in hiding behind them. Until you challenge yourself— even in small ways—you will never know what you are capable of achieving. You can learn how to extend the boundaries of your limitations by first making a list of all of those things you would like to do or learn. Then write down why you have not taken action to make these things happen. The first list expresses your desires; the second list conveys the roadblocks that are preventing you from achieving your desires. Review your lists, and then select one desire you would like to pursue. Take actions that will help you move beyond the roadblock, and you may be surprised at what you really can do. Today I will take action to move beyond my limitations. ************************************************** ~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~ There seemed to be endless obstacles preventing me from living with my eyes open, but as I gradually followed up clue after clue it seemed that the root cause of them all was fear. ~ Joanna Field ~ How often have we complained that we would be able to do something if only another thing weren't preventing us. "I can't” is our answer when we look around us and see only potential obstacles to accomplishing something. We need to realize, however, that "I can't" is just another way of saying "I fear." If we took away our fearfulness, think of all we could do. There would be nothing to prevent us from taking risks, trying new things, going new places, becoming more intimate, changing careers, going back to school, taking a Fourth Step inventory, chairing a meeting, or sponsoring a newcomer. We can change our response of "I can't” to "I'll try." We can take the first step away from our fear toward trying something new. There are no obstacles in our path—only the ones we put there to protect us from things we fear. Higher Power, help me take the steps to change from "I can't" to "I can." ************************************************** ~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~ Learning about love Being straight, we are discovering the joys of love. Just as our old ideas about living had to change, our old ideas about love have to change. Love can’t always be measured by self-sacrifice or generosity. We can self- sacrifice ourselves into martyrdom or generosity ourselves into directing and man-aging others’ lives. Love doesn’t stipulate or limit. Does our Higher Power limit us? It loves us so much that it lets us go over the limit—to the point where we destroy ourselves. Few of us know much about the true nature of love, but when we are ready, our Higher Power reveals itself to us and shows us about love. Have I learned all about love? May I know with all my heart that my Higher Power is love. Today I will make myself ready to learn about love by God help me to stay clean and sober today! ************************************************** ~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~ Man did not weave the web of life; he is merely a strand in it. Whatever he does to the web, he does to himself. ~ CHIEF SEATTLE ~ Newcomer I've been looking at the Tenth Step, and I'm intimidated by the way it sounds. Isn't all this emphasis on being "wrong" a way of beating ourselves up? Sponsor I agree with you that gentleness with ourselves is a good policy in recovery. But we can be both gentle and honest at the same time: they're not opposites. We can't grow if we're not willing to look honestly at our actions and at their consequences. Whether in professional or personal relationships, we ourselves don't like dealing with people who can't be depended on to do what they've promised. We don't like selfishness or dishonesty in others. Why, then, should we gloss over these traits in ourselves? In recovery, we're in the process of developing deeper, more intimate relationships with ourselves. As in our relationships with other human beings, we need to be willing to see clearly and to acknowledge what isn't having a good effect on us or on others. I step back and take an honest look at how I'm living my life today. ************************************************** ~ THE EYE OPENER ~ Most of us have met persons whom we thought extremely homely until we knew them better. Then we ceased observing their lack of facial beauty and began to appreciate those persons for what they really were. George Washington and Abraham Lincoln were what might be called extremely homely men, yet the beauty and strength of their characters was such that practically all present day pictures show little of their ugliness. You can't do a whole lot to improve an ugly face, but you can hide it behind a lovely character. ************************************************** ~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~ Lack of Faith Dear God, help me to stop demanding maturity without the pains of experience and growth. It is both unreasonable and impossible. I need faith in the process to reach maturity. Lack of faith arrests my progress in recovery. Procrastination and scepticism are enemies of spiritual progress and attainment. Scepticism demands evidence of God’s help. Procrastination prevents it. Faith, willingness, and prayer overcome all obstacles and provide ample evidence of God’s help in our happy, clean, and sober lives. ~ Adapted from The Little Red Book, pages 38-39 ~ ************************************************* ~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~ THE ACTIVITY OF GOD Read Psalm 18:8-16. Thinking of one of his own experiences, the Psalmist says that the sorrows of hell compassed him about and the snares of death came upon him, and that he "cried unto God"—he went on praying—and that God came to his rescue. He says that the earth shook and trembled and that the very hills moved because God was wroth. Of course, the "earth" means your environment, and all the outer conditions that constitute your life experience at the present time. Thus the shaking and moving of these things means that all your conditions are being changed, naturally for the better. The "wroth" of God in the Bible always means the activity of God. It does not mean anger. . . . and the Highest gave his voice. . . (Psalm 18: l3). ************************************************** ~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~ When Your Heart Is Strong Throw your heart over the fence and the rest will follow. ~ Norman Vincent Peale ~ On the threshold of recording her blockbuster album Unforgettable, Natalie Cole wrestled with her soul. The notion of electronically marrying segments of her dad's famous 1951 song with her voice in response was a bold and unprecedented experiment in the music industry. But in spite of potential criticism, there was something inside Natalie that kept pushing her to go ahead with the project. Subsequently, the recording became a top-selling album, and the singer won numerous Grammy awards for it. Natalie looked back and summarized the process: "When your heart is really strong about something, there comes a point at which you just close your eyes and go for it." All the figuring, planning, and reasoning in the world will do you no good unless you are willing to follow your instincts. All healing occurs outside the safety zone. Sometimes all you have to work with is a compelling urge, and sometimes that is enough. It is said that "the heart has reasons that reason knows not of." Practice acting on your intuition. Faith is like a muscle-the more you use it, the stronger it becomes, and the greater your capacity to use it. If a particular venture keeps knocking at the door of your consciousness, it is likely that this is your direction. Ask yourself, "Can I not do it?" If you cannot not do it, your path is obvious. Speak to me through my heart. Compel me to do the will of love. Empowered by joy, I follow my path with courage and confidence. |
October 3
Step by Step ” …I went to my first meeting. I was a very fortunate drunk. God has been good to me both in my drinking and in my sobriety. Because, thank God, since I came into this program, I haven’t had any trouble. Oh yes, I get the dry jitters once in a while, but that isn’t anything to worry about. It passes away. But I’ve never come close to that first drink. I took the advice of people I had heard at meetings, the people in the group. And I jumped in with both feet. Someone told me, ‘When you drank, you didn’t get half-drunk. You went all the way. In this program, there aren’t any halfway measures. In here, you must go all the way, too.’ So I attended as many meetings as possible.” – Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, “They Lost Nearly All,” Ch 8 (“Desperation Drinking”), p 516. Today, “half measures availed us nothing.” Today, I will apply the full measures I exerted on drinking to get sober, and I will listen to the voices of experience and set aside the egoism that I think I know better than anyone else. And if a shot of the “dry jitters” creeps in, I have the Twelve Steps to fall back on and the promise that, “This, too, shall pass.” But I must first get to the point that enough is enough and, today, I give it up, facing that enough is enough. With that desire for something better, I have taken my first baby step. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M. ************************************************** ~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~ SLOGANS Live Easy But Think First. ~ Anonymous ~ Live and Let Live, Easy Does It, But for the Grace of God, Think, Think, Think, and First Things First are the slogans we most often hear and see on the walls of our meeting rooms. There is also a popular slogan when we put together in order the first word of these five: "Live Easy But Think First." Many newcomers hear that we begin recovery on the slogans and stay in recovery on the Twelve Steps. The slogans were developed for use in recovery from the experience of many others. They at first appear to us as too simple (and sometimes too corny) for our use. The slogans are anything but corny. We need to check if we are using them in our daily lives. The slogans helped me when I first came in. I continue to use them to keep me on the Program, but I also remember not to be a "slogan slinger" and ram them down everyone's throat. ************************************************** ~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~ Be grateful for luck. Pay the thunder no mind—listen to tine birds. And don’t hate nobody. ~ Eubie Blake ~ Some mornings we wake and the bright sun warms our bodies and our spirits. Other mornings we wake to darkness and feel a heavy shroud of worry surround-ing us. In order to be present for life, a man needs to carry the big picture of life’s cycles in his mind. Small children don’t have the big picture. They haven’t yet experienced the ups and downs of daily life. But our adult life has taught us that the bad times pass and the bright sun returns. A strong man doesn’t deny the darkness, but he learns to cope with it by choosing what he pays attention to. There may be thunder, but we listen for the birdsong. We don’t lose our gratitude for the good luck we have had so far and for the constant companionship of our Higher Power. We care for our relationships and they sustain us through the darkest times. Today I accept the cycles of life and I am grateful for the good fortune that has carried me this far. ************************************************** ~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~ When we live in a place for too long, we grow dull. We don’t notice what is around us. ~ Natalie Goldberg ~ Why is it so hard to be aware of our surroundings? What occupies our minds? Most of us can’t adequately answer these questions. We aren’t even aware that we are not aware. Ego has us trapped, and not against our will. Being unaware has simply become our way of life. Unseeing, we move through the minutes, the places, and the experiences that wear our name, noticing only ourselves. Our journey is unique. The specific path we travel is trod by no one but us. No detail is without meaning; every moment, every person, every object has significance for us. Our task is to take notice and be grateful. What we need to know, what we are here to learn, is evident in the many tiny elements in our lives. Let’s not miss them. Looking thoroughly around me today will reveal God’s messages. Nothing has been left to chance. ************************************************** ~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~ I can trust again When I recall what I've been through in my life, I can see why it's hard for me to feel safe when I try to believe in someone. It seemed that every time I let my guard down, I was mistreated or betrayed. But eventually in recovery I have come to trust again. The process began with a person who was willing to accept me—regardless of my chemical or emotional problems—a person who was relaxed, open, and consistent with me. My trust didn't come quickly; I tested him to see if I could feel safe. But gradually, it worked. I am grateful that my higher power gave me the strength to try trusting one more time. Today I will take five minutes to think about how I can help my recovery by trusting myself and other people. ************************************************* ~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~ All rising to a great place is by a winding stair. ~ Sir Francis Bacon ~ When we look back over our lives it’s surprising to see how many twists and turns we have taken to get where we are today. Sometimes the smallest event has ended up determining what job we have, where we live, or what people are significant to us today. Most of us would never have chosen the path our lives have followed, yet we can be sure it’s no accident we are here today. Even when we denied it, our lives have always been part of God’s plan, not ours. Today we are better able to accept and live our lives to their fullest. When we realize that what happens is part of God’s plan for us whether we like it or not, we can begin to make the best of things, to learn from defeat instead of pitying ourselves, and to be grateful instead of arrogant when we are successful. Today help me see the hand of my Higher Power in everything that happens, and to make the best of things. ************************************************** ~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~ Although it is generally known, I think it’s about time to announce that I was born at a very early age. ~ Groucho Marx ~ Your birthday or a special anniversary date can represent one of the most important days of the year for you. Not only does it give you the opportunity to reflect upon your achievements over the past year, but it also represents a time in which you can begin to write a new chapter in the Story of your life. It is a time in which you can be reborn, k Just as a birthday presents a chance to reflect upon all of the years that came before and the opportunity to think about what you would like to achieve before you turn another year older, your anniversary in recovery offers a time to remember what brought you into the program and what things you would like to do as you Continue on the path of sobriety. While it is important to continually set goals, make changes, and welcome new adventures of discovery, special days in your life can engage you more fully with renewal. Look back at all you have achieved up to this point in time, and look ahead to all of the new beginnings that lie before you. Today I will celebrate how far I have come in my life and in my recovery. ************************************************** ~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~ The nice thing about football is that you have a scoreboard to show how you've done. In other things in life, you don't. At least, not that you can see. ~ Chuck Noll ~ When we entered the program, we learned how much blame we placed on others and how much denial was in our lives. Gradually we began to see our teachers, friends, or coaches weren't against us. As time went on, we learned our bosses weren't against us, or our lovers, or our siblings. In time, we may have even stopped blaming our parents. We have no scoreboard to measure our progress other than the way we feel. If we feel restless, edgy, anxious, or unhappy, we've got some more work to do, and we can begin that now. If we're content, serene, and peaceful, we need to continue the work we're doing. Life's ball game is with ourselves. Either we will push on and keep in winning form, or we will ignore our needs and fall behind. It is our choice, for we are the captain and the team. I can ask my coach—my Higher Power—for help to keep me in winning form. Let it begin with me. ************************************************** ~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~ Sharing ourselves We can’t give away what we don’t have, but what can we give? Ourselves. We do this by sharing our experience, strength, and hope. Whether we share with an individual or a group, we are walking, talking miracles of what our program can do. But this program works only through our Higher Power, and only through our Higher Power can we have the joy of sharing with others. Do I share myself wholly with those who seek help? Higher Power, meet and defeat the hostile forces in me that I may bring your glory to others. Today I will share myself wholeheartedly with God help me to stay clean and sober today! ************************************************** ~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~ Love has a passion for puzzles, for problem solving, is a grope in the direction of creativity. ~ ANATOLE BROYARD ~ Newcomer I've met someone that I think I'd like to be friends with—perhaps even more than friends. I know I still have distance to go in recovery, and I don't want to act compulsively, against the suggestion of the program. The trouble is, I'm afraid that I'll completely lose out on getting to know this person if I don't act now. Sponsor It sounds as if life's beginning to get a little bit exciting. This is one of those wonderful problems that we get to have when we're no longer fighting the addiction every day; it's about people. To me, your desire not to rush headlong into anything sounds pretty sensible. It takes a long, long time to get to know another person. We're entitled to take that time. But what if our pace is a problem for the other person? One person wants to go slow; the other person wants to go fast. It stands to reason that if we're both interested in the relationship, we'll agree to the slower pace. Whether it's friendship or love we're talking about, sensitivity to the other person is required; we have to honor his or her needs, as well as our own. At the beginning of a new relationship, if another person disrespects needs that we've made clear are important to us, then he or she isn't likely to respect them later on. Those who do respect our needs can contribute something necessary to the process of creating a healthy relationship. Today, I respect my own needs and am willing to share what they are. ************************************************** ~ THE EYE OPENER ~ Promises, vows, pledges, resolutions, doctors, preachers, priests, psychologists, psychiatrists, hospitals, judges, fails, jitter-joints, in fact everything, but nothing worked. One day, by the Grace of God, we found ourselves sober, and there can be no denying that it was the Grace of God alone that caused it. That same Grace will remain with you as long as you honestly seek it, and you will find that it will prove more than sufficient. ************************************************** ~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~ May I Encourage Others Dear Lord, may I remember to encourage others, truly listen to what others say, encourage their expression of ideas and feelings by exercising patience and empathy, rewarding honesty and openness with affirmation. You have instructed us to encourage one another, build one another up, be at peace among ourselves, always seek to do good to one another, rejoice always, pray constantly, for this is Your will. ~ Adapted from 1 Thessalonians 5: l2-18 ~ ************************************************* ~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~ THE LARGESS OF GOD Read Psalm 18. In verse 19 the Psalmist asserts, he brought me forth also into a large place. . . . Is it nor a wonderful thought that God brings us forth into a large place? Then he adds that God delivered me, because he delighted in me. This verse really means that being delivered from the dungeon of fear, the Psalmist was beginning to "experience the delight that peace of mind naturally brings. And now comes a very significant statement, “according to the cleanness of my hands hath he recompensed me." This refers to right conduct or right living. To have clean hands means trying to live the Christ life. Our prayers have but little power if we are not honestly trying to live up to the best that we know. We always do what we believe. With the merciful thou wilt show thyself merciful; with an upright man thou wilt show thyself upright; with the pure thou wilt show thyself pure: and with the forward thou wilt show thyself forward (Psalm 18:25-26). This is a concise and powerful statement of the law that we literally reap what we sow. God, in His infinite wisdom, has made the Laws of the universe and left them to work themselves out. He is not constantly interfering in every individual transaction. If this were the case, there would be no law and God would not be Principle. ************************************************** ~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~ Greater Than Starfish Behold the lilies of the field. They do not toil and neither do they spin. Yet even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. If God cares for the grass, which is here one day and cast into the fire the next, how much more shall He care for you, His beloved child? ~ Jesus Christ ~ In the Virgin Islands, I saw a lizard being chased by a cat who swiped off its tail. A local fellow laughed and told me, "In a short time, the tail will grow again." The regenerative power of nature is miraculous. If an earthworm is cut in half, it will regrow itself to completion. If a starfish loses a limb, it will be renewed. If such rudimentary creatures as worms and starfish can regenerate lost body parts, so can we. Surely we are at least as evolved as an earthworm! I know a man who regrew a part of his thumb after losing a section in a construction accident. I met a woman who, after having a lung removed, regenerated it. These people are not exceptions to the laws of nature; they are reminders of our potential. Let us open our minds to manifest the blueprint of our perfection. Created in the image and likeness of an all-powerful God, we have the capacity to be whole at all times. Help me manifest the magnificence with which You created me. My birthright is perfect wholeness. I claim my destiny to live in strength and health. |
October 4
Step by Step “For me, AA is a synthesis of all the philosophy I’ve ever read, all of the positive, good philosophy, all of it based on love. I have seen that there is only one law, the law of love, and there are only two sins; the first is to interfere with the growth of another human being, and the second is to interfere with one’s own growth.” – Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, “They Lost Nearly All,” Ch 11 (“He Who Loses His Life”), p 542. Today, how not to interfere with anyone’s growth – emotional and spiritual – including my own. If the traditional definition of philosophy as an ideal state of life is applied to AA, then, no, AA is not a philosophy. Rather, it is a discipline because AA does not promise a rose garden with sobriety but gives us the tools to effectively deal with the thorns in the rose bed. And discipline is required to stick to the steps that help us deal effectively with the thorns of life. How do I not impede anyone’s personal growth, including my own? Simple: look to Step 11 and seek my higher power’s will and the ability to carry it out. His will, not mine, be done. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M. ************************************************** ~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~ FORGIVENESS To err is human, to forgive divine. ~ Alexander Pope ~ True healing requires that we give back freely what we received freely. We have been accepted by our Highest Power and forgiven our mistakes. We must pass on that forgiveness. We have to learn to accept the fact that we sometimes hurt others in ways which we are not aware. If a person comes to us and asks for forgiveness, it is important for our own well-being that we pass it on. It does us no good to hang on to resentments and bitterness for another person. This is an extremely serious matter. Our recovery can be in danger if we withhold our forgiveness. It is equally true that there is nothing we have done for which we cannot be forgiven. God's love for us is unlimited. We need only ask. We always have an opportunity for a second start. I forgive as I am forgiven, I have learned in recovery to accept being human and not perfect. What I am is different from what I used to think I should or ought to be. ************************************************** ~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~ The more we allow ourselves to be servants of having, the more we shall let ourselves fall prey to the gnawing anxiety which having involves. ~ Gabriel Marcel ~ In our consumer-driven world we are flooded with tempting advertising images that promise us happiness, power, and virility if we buy these products. Success in this consumer world means financial wealth rather than good character or playing the hand we are dealt. The phrase quality of life often refers to material wealth, not to the quality of one’s personal relationships. We are following an alternative path. On this path, material goods are just trappings to be used and shared, never to define us. Our worth as a man is never measured by the car we drive or the clothes we wear. The guy who drives an old beater and the guy in a hot sports car are equals. No matter how many toys we have, and no matter how badly we have screwed up our lives, God loves His creation and wants the best for us. Today I will keep my eye on the real ingredients of my “quality of life.” ************************************************** ~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~ How often in my loneliness I have said things I didn’t sincerely mean just to please another. ~ Mary Norton Gordon ~ Our desire to bond with others can be intense. In our youth we followed the pack, even when we knew we’d be punished after we got home. Our need to belong hasn’t lessened in adulthood. Before getting clean and sober, we formed alliances with many men and women who didn’t share our view of life. We relied on these attachments, because loneliness was too overwhelming and anyone was better than no one. Today we know that the Twelve Step program has given us what we needed all along. What a life- saver! And all that’s been asked of us in return is our presence at meetings and our willingness to let other people really know us. It’s so simple. We’re surrounded by women who want to share our lives, who have similar stories, who searched as we did in all the wrong places. These bonds are offered sincerely. If I feel myself ready to go along with something to which I don’t agree, it’s my cue to call a sponsor or a friend for the intimacy I crave. ************************************************** ~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~ I will be taken care of Given a childhood of parental neglect—and then years of neglecting and abusing myself—I wasn’t sure how much I really wanted to survive. I felt I had nothing and no one. Without faith or trust, I finally hit bottom—physically, emotionally, and spiritually. And then something wonderful happened: I found the Twelve Step fellowship. I found people like myself, people who accept, understand, and care about me. I found a higher power and the Twelve Steps to guide me. I could never have envisioned these changes. They're gifts, and I am deeply grateful. Today I will carry the message of hope. ************************************************* ~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~ Only the brave know how to forgive. ~ Laurence Sterne ~ We hold onto resentment, old pain, and grudges to hurt others. Instead, they hurt us, weighing us down and creating a barrier between us and the rest of the world. As long as our hands are full of old hurts we can’t reach for freedom, joy, and love. The key to ending resentment is forgiveness and surrender to a Higher Power. When we learn to accept others as they are without making judgments or taking their inventory, we can live and let live. We can come to understand that others acted as they did not to hurt us, but because it filled their needs. As we come closer to uncritical acceptance of God’s will, we also find we’re able to forgive our own faults as easily as we do the faults of others. As we learn to accept others just as they are we begin to accept ourselves a little more. And soon we find resentments fading, replaced by a new acceptance of God’s will for ourselves and others. Now we can let go of old pain and make room for joy. Today help me let go of resentment and accept myself and others. ************************************************** ~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~ Just as you began to feel that you could make good use of time, there was no time left to you. ~ Lisa Alther ~ In one neighborhood the houses had clean windows, the lawns were cared for, and the driveways were free from clutter. But there was one home that had peeling paint, a yard full of overgrown weeds, and a driveway filled with junk. One day a man knocked on the door of the unkempt house and said to the owner, “I will give you $86,400. But you must use it wisely.” The owner gladly accepted the money and shut the door. Later that evening the man knocked on the door. “Please tell me what you did today,” he asked. “Well,” the owner replied, “because you gave me so much money, I decided to blow off work. I slept in and watched television. Then I ordered a pizza, watched some more television, and fell asleep again.” The man then asked for his money back. “But you gave it to me,” the owner said. “Actually what I gave you was the gift of time,” the man answered. “In each day you are given 86,400 seconds. If you use that time wisely, then you will have received its full value. But if you waste it, you will never get it back." Today I will not squander the time I have been given. I will use each second wisely. ************************************************** ~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~ All our actions take their hue from the complexion of the heart, as landscapes their variety from light. ~ Francis Bacon ~ Tests have proven color and light play a significant role in influencing our moods. Even if we don't believe such statements, we can recall how we feel at the onset of a brilliant sunrise or breathtaking sunset. We can remember how we feel after two or three days of gray, overcast skies. The bright and vibrant colors stimulate our senses, and we react to them differently than we react to gray, dark colors. The colors we wear and the way we decorate our living spaces are pretty accurate reflections of how we feel about life and ourselves. Sometimes dressing in a more brilliant or a softer color can subtly change our mood from sad to happy. Sometimes imagining we are surrounded by a healing color—one of our favorite colors, perhaps—can help lift our spirits. Just as we give a coloring book and crayons to a child, so can we give ourselves a palette of beautiful colors with which to paint ourselves. I can create a wonder of colors within me and around me. I can color me beautiful! ************************************************** ~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~ Trying to escape In an attempt to get out of the box we found ourselves in, many of us tried the geographic escape. We moved from place to place. Invariably, we found ourselves in pretty much the same, if not a worse, situation. We knew we had real emotional and material problems, but we weren’t aware that using chemicals was actually causing much of our distress. The chemicals induced a state of mind that led to behavior patterns that wouldn’t have occurred had we not been “out of our minds.” Have I stopped trying to escape? Higher Power, help me to know that it’s not my location that makes the difference in my life, it’s what I’m working with inside. Today, instead of seeking escape, I will try to improve my situation by God help me to stay clean and sober today! ************************************************** ~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~ Fall down seven times, stand up eight. ~ JAPANESE PROVERB ~ Newcomer Why is there a need for a Tenth Step, when we've already done "a searching and fearless inventory" in Step Four? Sponsor Accepting the need to live my life a day at a time isn't easy for me. I've always wanted to know what was going to happen for the rest of my life. But in life, things are always changing and unfolding. The Fourth Step helped us to see our past behavior more clearly. But our lives aren't over. We need to continue to be conscious of our motives and of the impact our behavior has on ourselves and others. We have a need for the Tenth Step because we're human and because we have addictions. People in recovery aren't infallible. Recovery has given us new options for dealing with difficult situations, but we don't always turn to them. There are times when, in pain or fear or confusion, we rely on an old habit instead of on the principles of the program. As with Step Four, Step Ten helps to keep us from using addiction to anaesthetize our feelings over things we wish we'd done differently. Today, I scan through my past twenty-four hours. I give myself credit for a day of recovery. I don't hesitate to acknowledge any wrongs that I'm aware of having committed. ************************************************** ~ THE EYE OPENER ~ You cannot sell a man a bill of goods without selling yourself. This is the experience of all those who speak at meetings or attempt to carry the message to other alcoholics. Whether your talks help the other guy or not, you may never know, but your efforts have not been in vain for you will have undoubtedly helped yourself in the attempt. ************************************************** ~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~ This First Step Lord, I have nothing. My addiction has taken my spirit and my sanity I have lost my family and my soul. My life is no longer my own. Help me to restore my life so it is manageable; Make my pains bearable. I cannot do it alone—I have tried. Today I ask that You will be with me as I take this First Step. ************************************************* ~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~ THE KINDLING OF GOD Read Psalm 18. In verse 28 the Psalmist moves to another phase of the teaching. Thou wilt light my candle : the Lord my God will enlighten my darkness. Many similes have been offered by religious teachers to illustrate the relationship between God and man. One of the best known and most helpful is to think of man as a spark from a great fire, which is God. The spark is not the whole of the fire but it is part of it, and therefore of the same nature' and possesses, potentially, all the characteristics of the parent fire. It can ignite many things upon which it falls, thus producing another fire essentially of the same nature as the original fire. ************************************************** ~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~ Agree on What? Let not littleness lead God's Son into temptation. ~ A Course in Miracles ~ I saw a television news story about a priest who had covertly molested many children in his Catholic elementary school. When he was reported after many years, scores of children came forth to corroborate his crimes. The priest was deposed and became the object of considerable legal motions. In viewing a meeting of an ad hoc group of the now-grown adults who had been abused, I felt disturbed by the mob energy generated. These people were severely angry, and the primary intention of the group was to punish the priest. While they were performing a great service to get him out of his position so that he could do no further damage, I observed a cry for vengeance that debilitated those who voiced it. Their gathering reinforced the message, "We are victims, and we want blood." It occurred to me that the members of this group would help themselves most by dealing with their pain and rage. What they needed was not retribution, but to become free of the wrath they were embroiled in. By focusing on punishing their perpetrator, they were not growing beyond their experience, but merely reinforcing it. We must be careful about what we get together to agree on. Agreement is powerful, and it can be misused. Jesus said, "Wherever two or more are gathered in my name, there am I," indicating that a shared acceptance of Spirit brings healing. It may also be said that wherever two or more are gathered in the name of fear, only more darkness ensues. My teacher Hilda explained that the worst use of a marriage or friendship is to agree on shared victimhood. When we band together to define ourselves as small, we become only smaller. When we join to affirm our power to love and heal, we become infinitely powerful. Take care to agree that you are great and not wounded. Help me to align with those who empower me to be great in strength and not small in weakness. I agree with those who affirm my wholeness and perfection. |
October 5
Step by Step “My story has a happy ending, but not of the conventional kind. I had a lot more hell to go through. But what a difference there is between going through hell without a power greater than one’s self, and with it! …(M)y teetering tower of worldly success collapsed. My alcoholic associates fired me, took control and ran the enterprise into bankruptcy. My alcoholic wife took up someone else, divorced me and took with her all my remaining property. The most terrible blow of my life befell me after I’d found sobriety through AA. …One night my son, when he was only 16, was suddenly and tragically killed. The Higher Power was on deck to see me through, sober. I think He’s on hand to see my son through, too. I think He’s on hand to see all of us through whatever may come to us.” – Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, “They Stopped in Time,” Ch 16 (“Me an Alcoholic?”), p 437. Today, foresight to know and be prepared for the day when my AA program is called upon to get me sober through the bad. I must accept that bad things are going to happen in my life and that AA is not a promise the bad will not happen. But AA is a promise that I can get through the bad sober if I not only adhere to the 12 Steps but also trust a higher power stronger than me. I absolutely must be willing to be open to the idea of a higher power, even if that power is the program itself. On good days, it’s easy to talk the talk; on bad ones, it’s another to walk the walk. Disappointments and tragedy can be expected to hit me, just as they do the non-alcoholic. Let me begin today to invest in a program strong enough that I can draw upon when the good days aren’t so good. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M. ************************************************** ~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~ OWN WORST ENEMY We have met the enemy and he is us. ~ Pogo ~ We can quit being our own worst enemy by developing the willingness to be good to ourselves. When we feel uptight, we all tend to treat ourselves unkindly. We can begin to like ourselves if we keep thinking about how far we've come in our recovery. We have figuratively gone all the way to hell and made a U-turn. We can't forgive others their mistakes and not forgive ourselves as well. If we consider ourselves our own worst enemy, we aren't listening to our friends in the Program or our Higher Power. They tell us to be kind, to ourselves and others. Acceptance is knowing we are good and whole despite our limitations and defects. As long as we strive to improve, we are free to take joy in who we are now. When I feel like my own worst enemy, I'm in danger of hating myself. Perfection isn't possible, but progress is. ************************************************** ~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~ Despite all the obvious distinctions between men and women, our hearts share the same fears and yearnings. Learning how to hold each other’s hearts tenderly is the art of love making. ~ David Treadway ~ Intimacy is showing our inner self to another person. When we live in an intimate partnership, our task is to learn to be worthy of the trust and vulnerability our partner opens to us. At the same time, we need to learn to show our fears and yearnings to our beloved. When we make disrespectful, sarcastic, or hurtful comments, we show ourselves as unworthy of the intimate vulnerability our partner granted to us. When we are open and intimate with our partner, we deserve to be treated with tenderness and respect. This kind of intimacy is not easy to achieve or maintain. It is a very grown-up kind of relationship that we learn to achieve as adults. Today I will be vulnerable with my partner and honor my partner’s trust in me. ************************************************** ~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~ We are all diamonds in the rough. ~ Roseann Lloyd ~ We tend to exaggerate our own imperfections and glorify other women’s strengths. In reality, we are all imperfect yet quite good enough. Since getting clean and sober and joining this sisterhood of recovery, we have been given the tools for smoothing the rough edges of our character. Becoming a real gem is within our reach. How do we begin? It’s important to keep our efforts simple. Because we have so much we want to change, many of us try to change everything about ourselves overnight. The result is overwhelming frustration. We became who we are now over many years of reckless living. We must be realistic. Committing to one tiny change a day is enough to focus on. And it’s more than enough to eventually bring about the overall changes we seek. When we accept that who we are right now is okay with God, we’ll also accept the pace of our progress in becoming who we want to be. Watching my facets begin to sparkle can make each day a thrill to live. I’ll appreciate the opportunities to polish my rough edges today. ************************************************** ~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~ I need relief from my guilt I feel bad about some things I've done in my life. Sometimes I feel I should be punished. This guilt is a weight I've lived with for many years. I used to try to forget it by drinking. In dual recovery, I've quit drinking, but I'm left with some unresolved guilt. It keeps me blue at times, keeps me angry at myself and others. It even increases my risk of relapse. But I'm learning a way to help. First I do a Fourth Step to learn exactly what I feel guilty about. Then I promptly do a Fifth Step to help release it. The good news from my fellow group members is that by doing these Steps I can look forward to some relief. Today I'll make notes on the two things I feel most guilty about and on how I can release this guilt. ************************************************* ~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~ Guilt is the gift that keeps on giving. ~ Garrison Keillor ~ Some of us live with terrible guilt. We believe we are the source of all problems, that everything wrong is our fault. This is a bit extreme. We all feel guilt at times, some of it productive, but no one is that guilty. Guilt shows we care. We feel bad when we do or say something that goes against our value system. But to feel guilty about every problem, every mistake, every accident, is a sign we expect too much of ourselves. We become paralyzed and unable to change and make amends. And in recovery we are learning we are not responsible for everyone — our first responsibility is to ourselves. We are learning to distinguish between healthy and unhealthy guilt. Excessive guilt need not be our legacy. God created us as humans, not gods. It is our nature to be imperfect. When we begin to accept ourselves and our mistakes as normal, our freedom is within our grasp, and we put a halt to the cycle of guilt. Today help me know when guilt is warranted. Help me believe that I am not always guilty. ************************************************** ~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~ When I first open my eyes upon the morning meadows and look out upon the beautiful world, I thank God I am alive. ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson ~ Even on those mornings in which you feel you cannot face another day, you can. Even when you feel you can-not get out of bed, you can. Even when you feel you cannot face another challenge in your life, you can. Even when you feel depressed, overwhelmed, unfocused, or crazed, you can overcome those feelings. How do you do this? By shifting your focus away from yourself and placing it on the natural wonders around you. When was the last time you got up early to watch the sun rise or listen to the songs of some of the morning’s early birds? When was the last time you watched a squirrel leaping from branch to branch or scurrying across a telephone wire? Appreciate what is outside you, and it can be easier to look at what is inside of you with greater understanding, patience, and compassion. Connect with the world at large, and you might be able to see that your problems are really not so big after all. Notice all of the things your Higher Power created, and you will be able to feel gratitude that you are alive. Today I choose to live with my eyes wide open to the world around me. ************************************************** ~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~ Know what you want to do, hold the thought firmly, and do every day what should be done, and every sunset will see you that much nearer the goal. ~ Elbert Hubbard ~ Every good story has a beginning, a middle, and an end. The beginning is like our morning, full of newness and promise and hope. This morning was our introduction to a new day, to new people, and to new experiences. The middle of the story is how our day progressed. It's the actions and events, the dialogue and the locales, and the conflicts of the day. The middle may have been dull and boring, or it could have raced along. The ending of the story is our evening. Tonight we may have found resolutions to the conflicts of the day or logical endings to some of the promises and hopes of the morning. The story's conclusion is decided by how we want to end our day. Why not end today's story with hope, gratitude, and peace—a happy ending! How will I end today's story? I can write a happy ending with gratitude for the peace my Higher Power has given me. ************************************************** ~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~ Becoming detached In our need to become a whole person, we sometimes find it necessary to project an environment we believe will be more satisfactory than our present one: a different town, a new position, or a profitable goal. But if we don’t remember that we have no power over our own life, these dreams can become pitfalls. If we forget our powerlessness and start desperately seeking a goal or a place, we open ourselves to discouragement and disillusionment. But if we truly detach—by turning our will and our lives over to our Higher Power’s care—we will achieve real happiness through our Higher Power. Do I give the future to my Higher Power? Higher Power, I pray that when I look farther ahead than today, you will help me to be where it is best for me to be. The goals and aspirations I will hand over to my High Power today are God help me to stay clean and sober today! ************************************************** ~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~ Do not look where you fell, but where you slipped. ~ VAI PROVERB ~ Newcomer You'd think that after everything I've been through, I'd never want to repeat any of the mistakes I've made before, but I do keep repeating them. I don't pick up, but I don't always behave the way I want to. Sponsor At times, I revert to old ways of handling things. It's almost as if my personality sets little traps for me, and I fall into them. I find myself being selfish or dishonest in spite of myself, Or I fall into gossip or criticism, self-importance or self-hatred. The good news is that when I act in these ways in recovery I'm uncomfortable; I know that something isn't quite right. I remember the painful lessons of the past. As children, we depended on others for our survival, and we made whatever accommodations we had to in order to be taken care of, Some of the habits we developed came with us into adulthood, even though they no longer had a useful function in our lives. Similarly, in active addiction, we depended on certain behaviors to care for ourselves as best we could. These behaviors aren't necessary for survival or self-nurturing any longer; and, in fact, they threaten our recovery. Step Ten is a tool for staying away from addictive drugs and behavio4 no matter what happens to us in recovery-including success. Today, I thrive on actions that further my self-esteem. If I've made a mistake, I say so without punishing myself. ************************************************** ~ THE EYE OPENER ~ The opportunities around us for doing good are so numerous that to do all the good things we would like to do is almost impossible. Nor is it necessary to read the papers for opportunities to help. They are near at hand and far more numerous than we suspect. Our eyes see what they are trained to see and a little practice will enable them to see many opportunities that you once failed to observe. If your prayers include a request to never let a day go by without some opportunity of serving, you'll have your prayer answered and you will rejoice in the fact that you have so much to do, and your lone regret will be that you cannot do more. ************************************************** ~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~ Surround Me With Your Light Surround me with Your light; Penetrate the very depths of my being with that light, Let there remain no areas of darkness within me, Clear away the shadows of my ego, the clouds of my defects; Transform my whole being with the healing light of Your love; Open me completely to receive your love, and help me to let go of all that blocks Your healing. ************************************************* ~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~ THE GOODNESS OF GOD Read Psalm 18. In verse 29 the Psalmist, thinking of some of the times in the past when he has been given power to overcome difficulties and to advance on the path, says, For by thee I have run through a troop; and by my God I leaped over a wall. Everyone has found himself at some time confronted with a difficulty that seemed like a high and insurmountable wall, but faith in God enables one to clear the obstacle notwithstanding. Next the Psalmist reminds us that the way of God is perfect. God will put you upon your high place. In other words, he will raise your consciousness so that you will automatically demonstrate. Then the author praises God and thanks Him for His goodness. Thanksgiving, as you know, is one of the most powerful forms of prayer. Finally he says that God gives great deliverance to his king; and that He sheweth mercy to His anointed, to David and to his seed forevermore. God intends us all to be kings through the exercise of spiritual power, and our power to go on increasing—like the seed of David—through all eternity. ************************************************** ~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~ Embrace Yourself I dreamed I had a child, and even in the dream I saw that it was my life, and it was an idiot, and I ran away. But it always crept into my lap again, clutched at my clothes. Until I thought, if I could kiss it, whatever in it was my own, perhaps I could sleep. And I bent over the broken face, and it was horrible...but I kissed it. I think that one must finally take one's life into one's arms. ~ from After the Fall, by Arthur Miller ~ At a conference, I met a psychotherapist named Leonard who told me, "I try to get my patients to accept and appreciate all of their feelings. I teach them that there is no such thing as a bad feeling. Anger, fear, and sadness all bring us valuable opportunities to awaken and grow. We must embrace all that we are and experience." Later, I overheard another man telling someone about Leonard's work: "I heard a therapist this morning who says we should tolerate ourselves." But Leonard hadn't said anything about tolerating ourselves. He suggested that we celebrate ourselves. In that distinction lies the entire key to our healing. To tolerate is to put up with something that is obnoxious or abhorrent, and hope that it goes away soon. To celebrate is to find the beauty, honor it, expand it, and live in the glory of a precious treasure. True healing begins with self-acceptance. We must embrace ourselves, rejoice in what we are, and magnify it to the highest degree. Help me see myself through Your eyes. Bestow upon me the vision of my own perfection, that I may honor it. I am a miracle of love. I am perfect as God created me. |
October 6
Step by Step “The fact is that most alcoholics, for reasons yet obscure, have lost the power of choice in drink. Our so-called will power becomes practically nonexistent. We are unable, at certain times, to bring into our consciousness with sufficient force the memory of the suffering and humiliation of even a week or a month ago. We are without defense against the first drink.” – Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, Ch 2 (“There Is a Solution”), p 24. Today, if the numbing physical and psychological impact of my last drunk has been weakened by the passage of time, let my defense be the outcome of my last drunk – likely the same consequence, if not worse, of every drunk before the last one. I have long since passed the point that a drunk tonight will be less physically and less costly than my last drunk, even if it was years ago. My sobriety today does not promise I will be sober tomorrow, but it does promise that I have a choice today to drink or not. If the memory of the physical and emotional toll of my last drunk has been salved by the passage of time, pray I know that I and I alone will be responsible for the consequences of another drunk. And lest I forget that those if consequences were too heavy then, they will probably be too heavy – or heavier – now. Today, I have the choice, and I choose not to forget my last drunk so that I have the choice not to drink. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M. ************************************************** ~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~ CHARACTER DEFECTS The only truths we can point to are the ever changing truths of our own experience. ~ Peter Weiss ~ We once wore our character defects like badges of honor. We were comfortable with them. They seemed natural and normal to us. We believed in our defects. We believed we needed them. The ego of which we were so proud has had to be deflated. When God becomes our primary focus, our character traits are shown to us in a new light. We are able to ask for help from our Higher Power to get rid of the parts of our character that hurt us. We know that if we are not ready and willing for the help of our Higher Power and our friends, we will not get rid of our character defects. I must be willing to see myself in a new way and accept myself as I am. That way I can start changing my defects that hurt me and my recovery. ************************************************** ~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~ The other planets may not be able to support life, but it isn’t easy on this one either. ~ Anonymous ~ The difficulties and pleasures of life always seem to come as a mixture of both. Today’s hard problems will be different by tomorrow. And the pleasures and rewards that come our way always come in waves of greater and lesser measure. That perspective on life’s problems is what we need to continue on our path of personal growth. Today we no longer reach for the instant relief of a drug or a behavior to get an immediate good feeling. In the midst of all the trees, we look up and see the bigger picture of the forest. The problems at hand today will pass. Our task is to examine the problem, then decide what we can do about it and what we can simply turn over to our Higher Power. By keeping our perspective on the bigger picture, we will not get lost in the anxiety of the present moment. Today I am grateful that I can count on my Higher Power for help in dealing with my difficulties. ************************************************** ~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~ Wisdom not gained from within is only someone else’s knowledge. ~ Georgette Vickstrom ~ Now that we are clean and sober and working the Steps of this program, we have the opportunity to discover that we possess good judgment. Our sponsors can help us in this undertaking, but we need to be cautious. Needing to be right is a common malady among alcoholics, and we have to take that into account when others try to help us make decisions. Just because we are surrounded by program people doesn’t mean we’ll always get good advice. On the contrary, we can expect a fair share of poor advice aggressively given. Using the Steps and the slogans will help us discern rather quickly what’s valuable to us and what is not. I will look to others for help when I need it; however, I’ll rely on my own judgment too. My inner voice has my best interest at heart. ************************************************** ~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~ I am a worthy person with two illnesses A friend just canceled our date. I think it was partly due to my mental health issues even though I'm stable and recovering. This hurts. Rejection always hurts, but especially when it is due to my dual disorder, a pair of liabilities that are not my fault. Still, I know I'm doing the best I can. I am working on my illnesses—staying abstinent, going to therapy and Step meetings. I trust that I will be OK because I have a higher power and I know people care about me. Rejection hurts, but I am learning to deal with it. I will pray (or meditate) and share my pain and sadness with a trusted friend. ************************************************* ~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~ In order to perceive the world differently, it is imperative that we learn to retrain our minds and realize that we can gain control over our thoughts. ~ Gerald G. Jampolsky ~ Negative thinking can clutter our minds and influence all our actions and relationships. Becoming aware of negative thought patterns is a foundation upon which we can build a tower of remarkable change. Our minds are powerful and adaptive. We are finding that we can change our thinking at any moment, age, and time, if we are willing. Now we know that we can change anything in our lives when we begin to change our basic belief system and end our pattern of negative thinking. If we don’t, all our other life changes will be built on shifting sand. When we do, we discover that as we build our new base of positive thinking, everything else we do is in harmony. Today let me become aware of how much I allow my mind to drift into negative thinking. ************************************************** ~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~ Birds sing after a storm; why shouldn’t people feel as free to delight in whatever remains to them? ~ Rose Kennedy ~ A Zen parable tells the story of two monks who were washing at a stream. As they were washing, a scorpion fell into the stream. One monk plucked the scorpion from the water, and it stung him. The monks continued washing, and the scorpion again fell into the stream. The same monk rescued the scorpion, which stung him a second time. The other monk asked, “Brother, why do you keep saving the scorpion when you know its nature is to sting?” “Because,” the monk replied, “my nature is to save.” Despite the pain he knew he would receive from the scorpion’s sting, one monk persisted in doing what brought him joy and gave him a sense of purpose in his life. So too can you feel joy despite the difficulties or challenges you may face in recovery Even when you cannot always see where you are going in recovery, you can feel joy that your journey is underway. Despite your setbacks, failures, and mistakes of the past, you can feel joy that those things are behind you. Whether today takes you where you would like to go or provides you with detours and setbacks, you can still feel joy. No matter what happens today, I will feel joy. ************************************************** ~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~ I guess we are now small enough to go to bed. ~ Theodore Roosevelt, To his soldiers, after gazing at the stars one night ~ Sometimes after a really "up" day we may feel impervious to troubles and problems. We may even feel a bit cocky if others have depended on us for help and assistance and we've been able to provide what they needed. It's easy to get off on an ego trip by feeling we're the best when we’ve solved problem after problem. We may even feel superhuman. But we need to shrink back to our proper size. Some days are good, and we deserve them. But good days don't prove that we're the greatest or that all our problems are solved. Today we did what we needed to do. We may have had a lot of energy and patience to work with. Tonight we can feel grateful for this positive, constructive energy. But we need to remember we're the same size we were this morning. We're human, not superhuman. Tonight everything is where it belongs. The stars are up in the heavens and we're here looking up at them. Tonight I can pray for the continued ability to have wonderful days and to feel good about myself. ************************************************** ~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~ Finding our path We are the result of what we have applied. In recovery we have a chance to apply new principles to our lives. In doing so, we are able to abandon old habits and ideas and, bit by bit, to recognize our Higher Power’s plan for us. Cleaning house is a necessary beginning for our new way of life. Every day, instead of following our ego’s will, we can take the cues given by our Higher Power and use them to stay connected to our spiritual path in life. Have I become what I’m meant to be? Higher Power, today may I begin practicing, thinking, and living according to your plan for me. I will allow my Higher Power to guide me on my path today by God help me to stay clean and sober today! ************************************************** ~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~ Shame kills faster than disease. ~ BUCHI EMECHETA ~ Newcomer I've really screwed something up badly. It's not the first time, either; I've done this sort of thing before. I should know better by now. I can't believe how stupid I've been. Sponsor When I'm working Step Ten, I need to practice exercising my judgment, instead of merely being judgmental. I listen to the dialogues in my head and hear how critical I'm capable of being. I look at my old habit of using words against myself. My lack of charity and compassion toward myself won't improve the situation I'm feeling upset about, nor will it further my ability to be accepting of my fellow human beings. It will keep me in a holding pattern of negativity and criticism. It won't help to repair any error or damage that has taken place; instead, it may block me from thinking of and taking an appropriate action. An alternative to self-criticism is simply standing back and noticing behavior, in the same way that we notice our thoughts with detachment during meditation: "Oh—I've done that," or "I see that I'm having that feeling again." In the process of changing old patterns, paying attention is more productive than rushing to condemn ourselves. Today, I choose words with conscious care. I expand my vocabulary replacing the language of attack and insult with words of understanding. ************************************************** ~ THE EYE OPENER ~ Prohibition is a glaring example of the futility of endeavoring to protect men from their own follies. The setting up of barriers is effective only in challenging the resources of man to overcome those barriers. It is an unfortunate truth that we never fear a hot stove until we have been burnt, and a fresh paint sign serves only as a dare to everyone to put their finger on it and see for themselves. ************************************************** ~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~ Stop My Running Away May I remain fearless and searching in taking my daily inventory. This challenge has always seemed difficult—difficult in facing myself as I really am. I cannot run away from the truth or flee from my wrongdoings. Higher Power, stop me in my tracks when my misdeeds are chasing me. May I slow down, stop, and turn to face them with the most trusty weapon that the Program and You have taught me: the honest truth. ~ Adapted from A Day at a Time, August 13 ~ ************************************************* ~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~ NO BUTS When the devil has been unmasked a number of times, his final refuge seems to be the harmless looking word but. Students of the teaching of Jesus Christ who would not be deceived by any of the familiar devices, constantly surrender their principles, and therefore their demonstration, to the little word but. "Of course I know that God is the only power—but—.” "Of course I know that God is omnipresent—but—.” "Of course I know that God is love—but—.” "Of course I know that there is no hurry because I am in eternity—but—." "Of course I know that John or Mary must be the living expression of God, just as I am—but—." If truth is true, there are no buts. And they all with one consent began to make excuse (Luke 14:18). ************************************************** ~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~ Life and Details You can't do anything about the length of your life, but you can do something about its width and depth. ~ Evan Esar ~ In an airport, I saw a man wearing a baseball cap and a sweatshirt proclaiming, "Baseball is Life—Everything Else is Details." Each of us chooses what we will value as important, and everything else becomes details. The question is not, "Will I make something important?" It is "What have I made important?" Jesus explained, "A man cannot serve two masters; he will love the one and hate the other, or he will honor one and despise the other." The law of consciousness is that we will live in the world ruled by whatever we make important. Because we are spiritual beings, the only world that will ever fulfill us is the realm of spirit. On an airplane, I sat next to a well-respected cardiologist who confessed, "I have all manner of material wealth-several luxurious homes, a Porsche, and a Ferrari. One day my 11-year-old son tearfully told me, 'Dad, I don't know you. I don't see you. When will you have time for me?' That moment I realized that I had placed my values in all the wrong places. Now I spend quality time with my son, and that has made all the difference." Found your life on that which truly gives life, and leave the details to the universe. Help me keep my sights on heaven. Today I place love first. Established in Spirit. I live my deepest values. |
October 7
Step by Step “The spark that was to flare into the first AA group was struck at Akron, Ohio, in June 1935, during a talk between a New York stockbroker and an Akron physician. Six months earlier, the broker had been relieved of his drink obsession by a sudden spiritual experience, following a meeting with an alcoholic friend who had been in contact with the Oxford Groups of that day. He had also been greatly helped by the late Dr. William D. Silkworth, a New York specialist in alcoholism …From this doctor, the broker had learned the grave nature of alcoholism. Though he could not accept all the tenets of the Oxford Groups, he was convinced of the need for moral inventory, confession of personality defects, restitution to those harmed, helpfulness to others, and the necessity of belief in and dependence upon God.” – Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, “Foreword to the Second Edition,” pp-xv, xvi. Today, “moral inventory, confession of personality defects, restitution to those harmed, helpfulness to others, and the necessity of belief in and dependence upon God.” With that simple objective, the Twelve Steps guide us to sobriety, serenity, humility and service. We need not complicate or make a mystery of our reasons to seek out AA or how to earn recovery and sobriety. With our admission that we are powerless over alcohol and whatever else we cannot control and a determination and commitment to go to any length to make our lives one without alcohol, and to make it work, nothing exists to complicate our recovery. Today, being drunk 24/7 has had its run. I want sobriety. Today, I begin. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M. ************************************************** ~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~ MAKING PROGRESS Ninety percent of life is just showing up. ~ Woody Allen ~ Progress is a word of action, but for us it must never be hurried. We are told, "the idea is to make improvement, not finish first at a destination." There's no need to rush. We can take time to think about the direction we're going. Sometimes spiritual progress may seem slow to us, but if we honestly work the Program, that progress is sure. We can also take the time to examine the progress we have made. When we realize how far we have come, it makes it possible for us to continue. Practicing the Eleventh Step will help us slow down and calm our urgent need to always be rushing around. I must never stand still. Even when I stop and look at my progress, that is an action that gives me the courage to continue. ************************************************** ~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~ Never does the human soul appear so strong and noble as when it forgoes revenge and dares to forgive an injury. ~ E. H. Chapin ~ Forgiveness is a spiritual process. Little children always justify their hitting and aggressive behavior by claiming “He started it!” Throughout life, we all have justifications for our resentments. We all feel hurt by others at times. Our spiritual journey asks us to face these affronts with a more grown-up mind than we had as small boys. Our immature and undisciplined ego may play a role in how we respond to an offense today. Much of the time, when we are hurt, another’s actions are not really about us. They are a reflection on the person who did them, not on us. We are not in the center of that picture, and if we take our overgrown ego out of it, we can see that. Sometimes we have to defend ourselves, but we don’t have to hold on to the resentments. Only after we have grown strong enough can we see that our most dignified response is to let the incident be about the other person, and finally forgive that person. Today I will take my ego out of the picture, let others’ actions reflect on them, and strive to forgive them. ************************************************** ~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~ Women’s bodies resonate spiritual messages. Listen to them. ~ Judi Hollis ~ Our bodies are so much more than what we see In the mirror. They house our soul. They house our history. Our bodies have long memories. All that has happened to them remains in them. We share our bodies with a spirit who is the source of our strength and knowledge. Oftentimes the messages we get from the spirit are subtle. We barely sense them. When we’re honest with ourselves, however, we admit that we know when our Higher Power has spoken. Some describe the contact as a pinch in the conscience, others as a clutching feeling in the stomach. Tension in the neck and shoulders may be how God gets your attention. The point is, we each must attune ourselves to God’s special way of reaching us. Why listen to these messages? Because our journey will be helped if we let God decide our path. We have a destiny to fulfill. I will listen while my Higher Power speaks to me today. I won’t get off track if I stay in tune with my body. ************************************************** ~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~ I am learning to accept, to say yes For a long time I kept hearing myself say no. For instance, No, I am not an addict. No, I don't have mental health problems. No! I'll be fine if you'll just leave me alone. It's hard, sometimes very hard, but I am now learning to say yes, I have a dual disorder. Why? Because it's true. I have chemical and mental health problems and they have caused many problems in my life for some time. Now I am accepting my illnesses and my need for help to recover. Now I want to get better. I am asking for help and receiving it. For all this I am grateful. I will meditate on how good it feels to stop denying my problems and start working with them. ************************************************* ~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~ That is happiness; to be dissolved into something complete and great. ~ Willa Cather ~ Sometimes we may take our Twelve Step program for granted. It’s always been there, helping us find a new way of life instead of the old way of death. It’s been such a constant that we may forget to be grateful for the men and women who came before us, who created this wonderful program of recovery and new life. Many people have made our program what it is. Some found a new sober life and some were lost along the way, but all contributed to our recovery today. As recovery becomes a way of life, it’s our turn to reach out to those in need. We can be available to newcomers, answering questions, offering friendship, and becoming sponsors. We can be more active in our program, helping to clean up after meetings, offering rides to those who don’t have them, volunteering to visit patients in a hospital or a treatment center. The torch has passed. As those early pioneers left a legacy for us, now it’s our turn to become part of a joyous tradition of love and support for those who follow in our footsteps. Today help me remember those who will come after me in recovery. Help me be generous, as those who came before me were generous. ************************************************** ~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~ No one ever told me that grief felt so like fear. ~ C.S. Lewis ~ When you are filled with grief over the loss of someone In your life, you may spend days immersed in incredible sadness. You may feel hopeless and helpless. You may even blame your Higher Power for your loss. You may ask others, “Why did this happen? What am I going to do now?” And yet no amount of words or comfort will provide answers to your questions. During such times, you may feel a great spiritual dis-connect. You may also feel distant and isolated from people. But even though you may feel as if no one understands what you are going through or that your life is harder than others, that is simply not the case. You are not the Victim of a vengeful God, nor are you someone who has been chosen to endure more misfortune than others. The death of another is not personally directed at you; it is a natural part of life. It Rather than dwell in hopelessness, loss, and despair, reconnect with life. Pray to your Higher Power and ask for guidance and support to get you through this time. Ask others for help. Go to places where there will be others who can support you. I will rely on the support of my Higher Power and loved ones as I grieve. ************************************************** ~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~ The great gifts are not got by analysis. ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson ~ Lovers often reflect on how they met and when they first realized they were in love. They'll play back the tapes of courtship as if they were analyzing instant replays of a sports play. "Yes, it was then when we first knew we were in love," concludes one. The other disagrees: "No, I still didn't know you well enough and wasn't ready." The bottom line is they fell in love. Whether it was Tuesday or April or morning, what is most important is that they did grow to love each other. Not by analysis did they learn this love, but by accepting the gift of love they had for each other. Analyzing people, places, or things may be a great way to reminisce, but we need to remember analysis isn't as important as what we've received. We aren't given gifts for any reasons. We're given gifts because that's what gifts are for. Tonight I can stop analyzing why I have a nice family, a good job, supportive friends, or great meetings. I can accept them all for what they are—gifts to be appreciated. ************************************************** ~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~ Making the stretch Some of us come into the program and are gung ho for the first three to six weeks. We’re like a quarter horse, good for the short run but not for the long stretch. After we come down from the high of winning our first run, reality and responsibility seep in and we step out, possibly even give up. So something has to carry us through, and that is our Higher Power, providing we let it. Then, as time passes, we find we no longer feel the need to use drugs. Our Higher Power is what guides us through. Am I good for the long stretch? Higher Power, guide me with your loving light for the whole race. Today I will improve my stamina by practicing God help me to stay clean and sober today! ************************************************** ~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~ Similarity is not the same thing as identity. ~ IBO PROVERB ~ Newcomer Today, I actually heard my story! I don't mean just that I identified with the speaker's feelings, but that many of the exact same things that happened in his life have happened in mine: the place we grew up, the work his parents did, the particular way we first learned to use addiction as escape. He talked about some key experiences that both of us have had. I listened as if I were in a trance. It was a very positive experience for me. Sponsor Hearing specific details that match those in our own stories is not a requirement for recovery but it is a gift whenever it happens. About halfway through my first year, I had an experience much like the one you're describing. The way it worked for me was to dissolve the last vestiges of my denial. It was like looking into a mirror and seeing my addiction with perfect clarity. Differences in gender, age, class, religion, sexual preference, work, language, style—all of these dissolve as I listen to where addiction brought others and how they work their program today. Whatever the specifics, I can identify emotionally and spiritually. But I have also made a special-interest meeting one of my home groups—a meeting whose members share a common interest and a common addiction. Close friends with whom I feel free to share my life in detail abound there; they are a rich part of my life in recovery. Today, I am open to meaningful connections with others whose lives are centered in recovery as mine is. ************************************************** ~ THE EYE OPENER ~ We alcoholics should be the last people on earth to give advice; first, because we never took it ourselves, and secondly, because our past record would not indicate that our advice is trustworthy. The best advice that we can give is to show the new man that we did it, show him that he can do it just as we did it, that the best way to get "on the Program" is to emulate the example of those who have made a success of theirs. ************************************************** ~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~ When I Question God's Will There are still times when I feel insecure and uneasy about my life. At those times I question Your will for me. I wonder if I'm being punished for something I have done wrong or I'm not working the Program hard enough. I must hold fast to the truth that I am just where You would have me. I must stop taking control and attempting to force changes I'm not ready for. This is when I lose touch with You. I will be patient and believe answers will emerge at exactly the right time. ************************************************* ~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~ MAKING YOUR DREAMS COME TRUE Many people indulge in some form of daydreaming. There is no harm in this so long as such daydreams are positive and constructive in character. You are always thinking, when you are not asleep, and you know that it is in the selection of your thoughts that destiny lies. Do not let your daydreams take the form of an escape from actuality. A daydream is an evasion when it consists in fantasying something pleasant that nevertheless you believe could never happen. Such a daydream debilitates the whole mentality. Some people daydream about all sorts of unpleasant things. They rehearse imaginary quarrels, imaginary injustices, accidents and misfortunes, and because they do believe that such things could happen, and because thought is creative, they actually bring them upon themselves. See to it that your daydreams are concerned with such happenings as you would really like to find in your life. Know that anything good is possible; remember the creative power of thought; and your daydreams will come true. A double-minded man is unstable in all his ways (James 1:8). ************************************************** ~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~ Frame of Mind We must strengthen, defend, preserve, and comfort each other. We must love one another. We must bear one another’s burdens. We must rejoice together, mourn together… ~ Puritan John Winthrop ~ Amidst a busy day of errands, I stopped at the local picture-framing store. Steve, the clerk, was an amiable fellow who seemed comfortable telling me about himself. After a few minutes of chit-chat, Steve told me that he was wrestling with the decision to call a friend whose husband had died unexpectedly. "I have been putting it off because I feel so uncomfortable about it," he confessed. "I am afraid that I may say something stupid and be embarrassed. I guess I'm really afraid of death, and I don't want to face it. I was stunned and moved by Steve's candor. A moment earlier, we were discussing picture frames, and suddenly he was exposing his pain and fear to me. I caught Steve's eyes, and for a moment I could really see him. I saw behind his job and his rap and his fear, and I saw the person that he was. I thanked him for his honesty. That moment was worth everything to me. It stood out in contrast to a day of unconscious business like a delicate flower growing in a pile of rubble. In that moment, I remembered what friendship and human relations are really about. They are not about stuff and talk and presentation; they are about people joining in the place where we are one. I once heard that we are most alike in our vulnerability. In that moment, I felt very close to Steve. I hardly knew him, and yet I knew him. While I went into the store for a new picture frame, it was a new frame of mind that I found. I pray to be open to the tender moments of life. Let me not miss an opportunity to connect with the heart of a brother or sister. I am one with everyone I meet. I let my heart be touched. |
October 8
Step by Step “In AA, we can begin again no matter how late it may be. I have begun again. At 54, I have had come true for me the old wish, ‘If only I could live my life over, knowing what I know.’ That’s what I am doing, living again, knowing what I know. I hope I have been able to impart …at least a bit of what I know; the joy of living, the irresistible power of divine love and its healing strength, and the fact that we, as sentient beings, have the knowledge to choose between good and evil, and, choosing good, are made happy.” – Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, “They Lost Nearly All,” Ch 11 (“He Who Loses His Life”), p 543. Today, it’s not too late until it’s too late – and it’s too late only when I’ve died. Until then, I have the lifeline and the choice of sobriety, and all I need do is grab and hold onto the lifeline, the lifeline being AA. Even if I cannot yet envision the program’s promises of sobriety if I adhere to the Twelve Steps, I know already and all too well the life I have if I don’t begin anew. In the end, the decision is a matter of choice – to continue in the life of active drinking that I already know with agonizing pain, or to choose something better. Today, I choose something better: it’s not too late because I’m here! And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M. ************************************************** ~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~ LIMITATIONS The four “A"s: Acceptance, Awareness, Action, Attitude. ~ Anonymous ~ It is as important for us to live within our limitations as it is to live up to our capabilities. Step One tells us that we do not have a limit but that we are limited. We admit this when we begin our growth in our Twelve Steps. The action Step, the final one, reminds us that we can only try to practice the principles of our Program in all our affairs. And, of course, we must accept the truth that we seek spiritual progress, not spiritual perfection. In admitting limitations we are reminding ourselves that we are only human. When we keep ourselves from trying to play God, we admit our imperfections. We seek our Higher Power's help in lessening our limitations when we take inventories and remember the four "A"s: Acceptance, Awareness, Action, and Attitude. My Program is based on my learning to live with my limitations. I will also remember that I need to live up to my capabilities. ************************************************** ~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~ Forgiveness ought to be like a canceled note, tom in two and burned up, so that it can never be shown against the man. ~ Henry Ward Beecher ~ When we have been hurt or offended, we naturally have strong feelings about it. Sometimes we want to leap to forgiveness as a cover for our wounds because we fear the damage to the relationship. In that case forgiveness comes too soon, before we even let ourselves know what we feel. More often, our ego has been bruised and, primitively, it wants revenge. But it is we who carry those angry feelings and nurse our negative inner world. And it is we who must find a way to live in a more positive state of mind. Some of our angers and resentments may be decades old. No repayment can ever settle the account. Maybe we didn’t get what we needed from our parents, or a former spouse treated us badly, or a co-worker or boss was unnecessarily harsh. We can lighten our burden by simply tearing up the unpaid debt. In a spiritual sense, we can leave the other guy’s conscience to him and his maker. By declaring old debts forgiven, we are free to live in the present as happier, better men. Today I will strive to let go of old resentments so I can live more fully in the present. ************************************************** ~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~ Healing begins with a state of mind. ~ Carol Sheffield ~ The mind gives birth to all our emotions and attitudes. Our anger, our sadness, our joy, our self-esteem are cultivated in the mind. What we tell ourselves, we become. Unfortunately, self-sabotage is often our habit. But whatever is done can be undone. That’s the good news. And the same tool we used to beat ourselves up can be used to undo the harm. We have always been in charge of what we believe about ourselves. The assignment is to change our beliefs. We can begin by creating positive affirmations and repeating them to ourselves every morning. We can follow this with a commitment to stop every negative thought once it starts. We will succeed with perseverance. We are lucky, really. When it comes to negative self-talk, we’re no different than other people. That we have a program to help us change our behavior is the luck. Let’s relish our good fortune. Healing begins with me today. I’ll only be as well as I tell myself I am. ************************************************** ~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~ I can deal with painful memories All of a sudden I'll have a memory that really hurts, really scares me. It feels like a sock in the gut that knocks the breath out of me. I have to stop what I'm doing to collect myself. If the memories keep coming, sometimes I want to use. But I cannot drink or take drugs. I must not. My recovery is too important to me. I've learned that if I use, I cannot deal with my memories nor my other recovery issues. I know there is a better way than using. Abstinence is not easy, but it offers long-term relief and the chance to heal. I will pray the Serenity Prayer and use physical exercise to help deal with my painful memories. ************************************************* ~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~ One, two, three..., one, two, three.... ~ The Program Waltz ~ At a meeting one time, we heard a woman simplify the program in a unique way. She was struggling with many issues all at once. She was having trouble working the Steps. She was wrestling with marital and job problems. She said that what has been most helpful to her is “The Program Waltz.” This, she explained, is her way of simplifying recovery. Whenever she feels overwhelmed she goes back to the first three Steps: “One, Two, Three,... One, Two, Three....” In this way, she said, she concentrates on the principles that help her most in times of need: powerlessness, surrender, and letting go. These first three Steps help her get centered and remind her of the thoughts and spiritual guidance that help her most. Sometimes we can end up spinning our wheels in the program and we find we must move on and take a Fourth Step in order to stay balanced. It’s nice to know, though, that the Steps are all available to us, that we can go back and start again when we need to. Although “One, Two, Three” may not be as effective for all of us, it can be a useful tool for focusing on the basics in our own recovery. Today I am thankful for the wisdom of those who are in recovery with me. ************************************************** ~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~ Every time that I think I’m getting old, and gradually going to the grave, something else happens. ~ Lillian Carter ~ How do you view getting older? Do you feel pride and accomplishment when you think of all that you have done or deep regret at all the things you have not been able to do? Do you break out in a cold sweat at the unknown that lies ahead? Moving into middle age or beyond can sometimes cause you to feel fear and anxiety. You may be overwhelmed with thoughts of retirement and financial security, diseases and infirmities, an increasing dependency upon others, and making end-of-life plans. When you feel this way, try to remember how you felt on your first day in recovery. You were most likely afraid at what was yet to come and full of doubt. Every minute of that first day may have felt as if it were your last. The same trust and faith you have developed in the program can be applied in ways to help you handle the process of growing older. You can either look forward to the cycles of life you have yet to enjoy and make the most of them, or fear and resist them. It is your choice. I will resolve not to take the progress of my years too seriously. After all, as it has been said, “You’ll never get out of it alive!" ************************************************** ~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~ The turbulent billows of the fretful surface leave the deep parts of the ocean undisturbed. ~ William James ~ Picture in your mind a calm lake, is surface like glass reflecting the sky and the full trees along its edge. A short distance from shore a flock of geese float smoothly along the surface. With their long necks extended gracefully, they barely create a ripple on the surface of the lake. That picture is very serene. But below the surface of the water are a bunch of legs furiously churning. This lake scene teaches us a lesson: things are not always as they appear. A smiling face may not reflect a broken heart. A sleeping child may not reflect nightmares being dreamed. An efficient worker may not reflect the nervous approval-seeker. A responsible adult may not reflect the hurting, angry child within. Tonight we can think about the appearances we reflect to others. Are we like the smoothly floating geese, not letting anyone see our struggles? Tonight, we can learn that keeping up appearances is really for the birds! I can let down all appearances and let people see how I really feel. I can be honest and show the emotions that are under my surface. ************************************************** ~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~ Liking the program Because most of us who have been around the program awhile like it here, newcomers sometimes mistakenly think that we wanted to be here. They imagine us eagerly waiting to dash into the promised land. Ha! None of us wanted to come here at first, but how can we help it if we love it in the program now that we’ve found it to be a true way to solve our problems? Do I like it here? Higher Power, let me be grateful always for having found this new way of life, but help me remember how the newcomer feels. Today I will enjoy the program by God help me to stay clean and sober today! ************************************************** ~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~ All passions exaggerate: it is because they exaggerate that they are passions. ~ SEBASTIEN-ROCHE NICOLAS DE CHAMFORT ~ Newcomer Things are terrible; I feel as if I'm in my first day of recovery all over again. Thank God for this program: the one thing I'm completely sure about is that I don't want to go back to using my drug of choice. Sponsor It's clear that whatever else happens today, your commitment to recovery is solid. Perhaps you need a day to fall apart, to feel the chaotic swirl of your feelings, to see that much you've thought of as permanent and well-functioning is separated only by the thinnest of lines from sheer nothingness. It might be a great relief. In recovery, many of us arrive at a place where we just want to run or quit—not quit recovery itself but other aspects of our lives. We may feel as if we've been holding things together, showing up and taking on a lot of responsibility, for some time now. Perhaps we think that if we let go, our part in the world will come to an end. Many things have a tendency to hold together, whether we attend to them or not. Venting our feelings can give us energy for a fresh start. Today, I drop my shoulders, I loosen my grip, I vent my feelings. ************************************************** ~ THE EYE OPENER ~ A shipwrecked sailor on a desert island may eventually find another in a like predicament, but the poor alcoholic is all alone with himself, even in a world full of alcoholics. That is one of the most brutal characteristics of the malady that separates us from the world about us and makes us men without a country, without a hope and without a friend. ************************************************** ~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~ The Four “A's” Dear God, I have learned to live within my limitations and to live up to my capabilities as I grow in recovery. As I try to practice the principles of our Program, I will accept the truth that I seek progress and not spiritual perfection. I pray to admit my limitations and remind myself I am only human. I have quit trying to play God. When I take my inventory and remember the Four "A’s"—Acceptance, Awareness, Action, and Attitude—I continue learning to live within my limitations and to live up to my capabilities. ************************************************* ~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~ BE SPECIFIC! Man has dominion over all things when he knows the Law of Being and obeys it. Do not put off your study of the law any longer. Take stock of your life this very day. Write down the things you really wish for. Be specific, not vague. Then write down underneath the conditions that you wish to remove from your life. If you do this candidly, you now have an extremely valuable analysis of your own mentality. In course of time this will tell you a great many things about yourself that you do not at present suspect, and as your knowledge of spiritual Truth increases, you will be able to handle the new knowledge about yourself in a surprising way. Having gotten your main points in front of you, work on each one separately with all the spiritual knowledge you possess. Remember, it is not really very important how much of this knowledge you have so long as you make use of all that you do have. Repeat this treatment every day for a month, and by the end of that time it will be very unusual if a change for the better has not manifested itself in your conditions. For those unfamiliar with spiritual treatment, an effective method of working is this: Claim gently but definitely that the great creative Life Force of the universe is bringing each of the needed changes into your life in its own way, in its own time, and in its own form. Do not try to dictate the exact form in which the new conditions shall come about. Do not be tense or vehement. Do not let anyone else know that you are doing this. Do not look impatiently every day for results. Keep therefore the words of this covenant, and do them, that ye may prosper in all that ye do (Deuteronomy 29:9). ************************************************** ~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~ Just Changed Addresses There is no death. ~ A Course in Miracles ~ For a long time, my mother asked me to put up a mezuzah on her doorpost. In the Jewish religion, a mezuzah is a small box that contains a parchment from the Bible. It is placed by the door as a reminder that God is present in the house, and serves as a blessing to those who enter and leave. I put up the mezuzah, but it kept falling off, and because I was not motivated, it ended up in my mother's kitchen drawer until she passed away. Six months after my mom's passing, I received a call from my clairvoyant friend, Carla. "Have you received the present from your mom yet?" Carla asked in a matter-of-fact way. Her question threw me for a loop. "No, I don't recall anything with the postmark, 'Heaven.'" "You will receive a gift from her soon; I sent it to you. I was in a gift shop in St. Louis, and as I was looking at a certain item, your mom whispered in my ear and told me to get it for you. I don't know what it is, but you will." Several days later, I received Carla's package. When I opened it, I was stunned to find a mezuzah. I put it up quickly and made sure it stayed! I believe that my mom spoke to Carla from the other side of life to give me a sign that she is still very much alive and present. Although she had passed from my visible sight, she was still my mom, she still loved me, and she was still with me. When a friend of mine told me that he had just come back from his father's funeral, I told him I was sorry to hear that. "It's okay," he answered. "He just changed addresses." Life never dies; it just changes forms. Help me to know that life is eternal. Banish thoughts of death, that I may know the truth of life. God is alive everywhere. My loved ones are always with me. |
October 9
Step by Step ” …’If you have a resentment you want to be free of, if you will pray for the person or the thing that you resent, you will be free. If you will ask in prayer for everything you want for yourself to be given to them, you will be free. Ask for their health, their prosperity, their happiness, and you will be free. Even when you don’t really want it for them, and your prayers are only words and you don’t mean it, go ahead and do it anyway. Do it every day for two weeks and you will find you have come to mean it and to want it for them, and you will realize that where you used to feel bitterness and resentment and hatred, you now feel compassionate understanding and love.'” – Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, “They Lost Nearly All,” Ch 12 (“Freedom from Bondage”), p 552. Today, if resentment is the deadliest poison to alcoholics alongside alcohol, I will make a sincere effort to free myself of it once and for all. If “Let Go and Let God” has failed because I have taken back my resentment, I’ll try what is suggested here – pray for the person or thing I resent to receive what I want for myself. Even if I can’t say I am sincere and honest in my hopes for whoever or whatever I resent, I will try for two weeks to pray for the best for them. God granting, after two weeks, the monkey on my back will be gone. Like alcohol and all the garbage that comes with it, as for resentment: enough is enough. Time to get rid of it. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M. ************************************************** ~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~ CHANGING All changes, even the most longed for, have [some sadness]; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter into another! ~ Anatole France ~ Changing negative patterns of behavior has been difficult for most of us. The harder we tried to change ourselves, the less we seemed to succeed. We believed we wanted what was good for us, yet our actions proved otherwise. Our addiction showed us that will power was more of a barrier to change than a help. Before recovery, we used to read books written on how to become happy, quit bad habits, and improve the quality of our lives. We read the words, believed what they said, and continued to live as we always had. Now we look to our recovery for an answer. We can let go of our old familiar ways that gave us the illusion of safety. We now see how they were self-defeating. I have learned in recovery not to be stubborn or afraid of changing. I can live in the present and build a better future. ************************************************** ~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~ You don’t have to suffer to be a poet; adolescence is enough suffering for anyone. ~ John Ciardi ~ We can think of our life as a poem. We are crafting a meaningful whole out of chaotic experiences. How do we make something worthwhile from what our life has been? We begin by getting honest with ourselves and others. We all have had enough suffering to feel deeply. We all have come face to face with the stone wall of facts we cannot change by our own efforts. The ultimate creation of a man’s life is in who he becomes. We have lost a lot. We have had sufficient pain, and we are guilty of doing bad things. Now we take that bundle of experiences and ask, what can I learn from them? All that we have done can be turned into something heroic and wonderful. There is nothing more inspiring than a mess of a man who works hard and turns himself into a good person. Today I will continue my path to creating a life with meaning and quality. ************************************************** ~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~ It doesn’t matter what we have done in the past. ~ Melody Beattie ~ Shame about the past is not unusual, particularly for women like us. It isn’t a productive feeling, however. Shame keeps us stuck, and we have joined this program to grow. Let’s let the past go, accepting simply that it provided us with experiences that have pushed us to new heights of awareness. What we’ve learned from those experiences, if shared, will educate another soul who still suffers. The twenty-four hours that lie ahead are our only concern now. We can make them productive, fulfilling, and peaceful if we honor each hour. The women and men who come to us today, the events that are triggered by their presence, and the attitude we harbor determine the fruitfulness of any moment. What a thrill to fully realize that our journey has a purpose and an intensity special to the particular lesson each of us needs. I don’t have to let the past hinder me any longer. I can be free of it, if that’s my desire. ************************************************** ~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~ I am coming out of denial At first I couldn't accept the counselor's concerns: In response, I said I didn't have a problem with drugs or alcohol and didn't need her kind of help (strike 1). I insisted to her that I didn't abuse chemicals—that I used them only to help me when I had symptoms of my psychiatric illness (strike 2). I insisted that I was managing my symptoms (strike 3). The facts, of course, were different. I was afraid, in denial, and I didn't understand myself. Now that I have some time in dual recovery (I'm stable and abstinent), I wish I had listened sooner to that substance abuse counselor. It has been hard admitting a dual disorder—both psychiatric illness and addiction—but since I did, I've felt better, especially through work in my Twelve Step fellowship. I now feel I am honest and no longer working against myself. Today I will reread Step One in the Big Book and check in with my sponsor. ************************************************* ~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~ I was a tiger on the outside and a marshmallow inside. In recovery, I’m both — but I don’t have to be either. ~ Karen O. ~ When we were drinking or using, many of us were two people. Under the influence, we were sure of ourselves and our opinions. But the next morning, we were our old, scared, and maybe shy, selves again. We thought our drug of choice was a magic potion that unlocked the brave and courageous soul within us. We were convinced we could never be strong without it. What a surprise to find those different sides of our personality blending in a new way in recovery. The serenity, honesty, and spirituality we’ve found help us choose how to act according to our values and the needs of the situation. With what we’ve learned, we can protect ourselves from people, places, and things that are dangerous to us and our recovery program. And we can learn to be open with people we trust and care for. Recovery has given us the sanity to know the difference and to handle life in a new way. Now, with the help of our Higher Power, we can be whole. Today grant me the strength to defend myself, and the strength to be gentle. ************************************************** ~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~ Faith is not a series of gilt-edged propositions that you sit down to figure out, and if you follow all the logic and accept all the conclusions, then you have it. ~ Mary Jean Irion ~ Years ago administrators at a high school in California told some of their teachers at the beginning of the school term that their students would most likely experience an intellectual growth spurt by the end of the academic year. At the end of the term, students of these teachers had, indeed, dramatically improved their academic performance. Administrators revealed that the teachers had been selected at random; there was no particular reason why they or their students had been selected. But because the teachers had expected more from their respective classes, they had subtly communicated this expectation to their students. The teachers showed that they believed in their capabilities, and the students responded to this support. Yet, if the teachers had shown doubt in the students’ success, the outcome would most likely have been different. I When you believe you are incapable of achieving great things, then these are the beliefs with which you will meet any challenge that comes your way. The higher the regard that you have for yourself and your capabilities, the greater the level of your success will be in anything you do. Today I will create self-fulfilling prophecies that focus on positive achievement and success. ************************************************** ~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~ The ideal day never comes. Today is ideal for him who makes it so. ~ Horatio W. Dresser ~ What kind of day did we have today? Are we critical of the day's events or circumstances because they didn't meet our expectations? Based on our standards of perfection, will we ever have the perfect day? There is no such thing as a perfect day. Today happened just the way it was supposed to, with its imperfections as well as its achievements. If it was a lousy day, it was only because we believed it was a lousy day. By the same token, today was a good day because we believed it was, not because the sun was shining or traffic was light or we got paid. Every day is different. Some days may be enjoyable experiences while others may be difficult to get through. But each day plays an important part in our development. Instead of judging each day like a teacher grading papers, we can see each day as our teacher. What we learn from the day, as well as the attitude we have about it, is our daily lesson. Tonight, can I see today as my teacher? What did I learn today? ************************************************** ~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~ Slipping A common rationalization about not making the program goes like this: Harry over there slipped ten times before he made it. So what if I slip a few times? What is overlooked is that the last time Jack slipped, he slipped into a coffin; the last time Bob slipped, his baby son burned to death in a crib because of Bob’s negligence; the last time Ann slipped, she got strychnine poisoning and became blind; and the last time Jim slipped, he tried to kill his wife and nearly did. We’re not playing games here. This is a matter of life and death. Have I stopped slipping? Higher Power, let me know that it is not only my life but the lives of others that I endanger by playing loaded games. I will avoid slipping today by God help me to stay clean and sober today! ************************************************** ~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~ One cannot but be perturbed when fire breaks out in a neighbors house. ~ INDIRA GANDHI ~ Newcomer There's someone I've gotten to know recently who told me she'd tried the program for a few months last year but didn't like it. One day, she announced that she'd had a few beers the night before. She said it in a tone meant to suggest that it wasn't a problem for her. Now it's clear that her use of alcohol has escalated again; she refers to it in some fashion whenever I see her. I understand now that I can't force recovery on anyone. But when she mentioned "cleaning up," I said to her, as lightly as I could, "I go to lots of meetings, so if you ever feel like trying one again and want some company, let me know." I hope I did the right thing. Sponsor You did exactly what I'd have done. Much as you may have wanted to say more, you made your offer kindly and left it at that. You haven't brought up the issue repeatedly. You haven't let her relationship with alcohol affect your social or emotional life. You haven't "covered" for her, lent her money, or focused on her problems instead of on your work and school responsibilities. You haven't let your concern for her become an obsession. You can be certain that she heard you. If she ever becomes willing to come to a meeting, she knows that you're there. Today, I admit my powerlessness over other people's addictions. ************************************************** ~ THE EYE OPENER ~ So you killed the goose that laid the Golden Egg? That's too bad. You can't bring it back to life but you can do the next best thing—you can eat the goose. You can't unscramble an egg but you can bake a cake. It is water going over the dam that drives the machinery. You are an alcoholic—you can't help that fact, but you can use your alcoholism for the benefit of other alcoholics and society generally. ************************************************** ~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~ Part of the Solution Dear Lord, remind me that when I was practicing my addiction, I traveled alone. No relationship was more important. I was a hostage in a prison of chemicals. The Fellowship and Your guidance has broken that grip of isolation. I pray to remain grateful to the men and women who share their experience, strength, and hope. The Fellowship is a circle of spiritual vitality that energizes me when I'm willing to join hands. Alone I am the problem. Together with others, I am part of the solution. ************************************************* ~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~ BULB AND FLOWER Who has not at some time or other planted a bulb and enjoyed the pleasure of waiting for the plant to appear and develop, and ultimately produce the glorious flower itself? Notice here that you naturally plant the bulb and expect the flower—the hyacinth or the crocus—to follow. No sane person would dream of planting the flower and expecting a bulb to come up; yet in our general life many of us do just that! We expect to begin with the flower. We think that we shall have desirable states of mind or body—happiness, freedom, health—if only we can change outer conditions in some way. Yet this is really trying to plant a flower, because we are trying to put effect before cause. The law of the universe is thought first, and then expression; and never can this law be reversed. Let all things be done decently and in order (1 Corinthians 14:40). ************************************************** ~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~ Get Off Your Buts If you sit in the middle of the road, you will get hit by traffic from both directions. ~ Bryce Courtenay ~ After spending a day with a small group of friends in New York City, we were deciding whether to go to a movie or go home. As we drove along, each person gave their input. "I'll go with the flow," said the first person. "I'm not attached," offered the second. "I'll do whatever the group wants," added a third. I'm just happy," reported a fourth. The driver pulled off the road, turned to face the others, and half irritated, half-humorously, announced, "That's enough! Can't you guys come up with anything but new age platitudes? I need to know what direction to drive this car; this is one of those situations in which everyone is just going to have to be honest. Now, let me ask each of you again. What would you like to do?" As it turned out, no one wanted to attend the movie, so we all just went home-but not before I learned an important lesson in taking a stand. When you're honest about where you are, you and others have something to work with. If you're vague or withhold your truth for the sake of pleasing others, it's hard to get anywhere. Even if you're upset or feeling unclear, you serve by reporting where you are. Often simply speaking up moves the energy to the next level. Sometimes all we have to offer is our current experience, and that is enough. Even if we're not in touch with the ultimate truth of the universe, or if our position changes, we do well to give the driver a direction before he has to pull off the road to ask. I pray to be clear with myself and others. Give me the confidence to know that where I am is good enough. I make a stand for who and what I am. |
October 10
Step by Step ” …I think there are some of us who, at times, try to read extra messages and complexities into the Steps. …AA is within the reach of every alcoholic, because it can be achieved in any walk of life and because the achievement is not ours but God’s. …there is no situation too difficult, none too desperate, no unhappiness too great to be overcome in this great fellowship – Alcoholics Anonymous.” – Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, “They Stopped in Time,” Ch 11 (“A Flower of the South”), p 395. Today, no searching for words of eloquence to convince anyone of the redemption, reconciliation and grace of AA and, instead, letting my example serve as its most powerful testament. ” …No situation too difficult, none too desperate, no unhappiness too great to be overcome.” If today I think or feel that I have fallen too deeply too fast, am beyond saving or that the damage I have inflicted is so beyond repair that a new beginning is impossible, let me have if nothing else blind faith to make the call that could be my new beginning. Today, I do not and cannot accept that I am beyond the reach of recovery, and I set out today to start anew. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M. ************************************************** ~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~ THE PAST Let Go and Let God. What's Turned Over Turns Out. ~ Anonymous ~ There is a bit of packrat in all of us. We've carried things around with us that should have been thrown away long ago. We have had bad experiences that we can recall in an instant. We play the scene back in our minds and bring up those old feelings, and suddenly we are back in time. We feel the anxiety, anger, and resentment of the moment. We learn in recovery not to carry the effects of old feelings into our present reality. We ask our Higher Power for the willingness to let go and turn over those memories. All they do is cause us pain and remorse. Our willingness to venture beyond the past into the present is the key to the future. I will learn what I can from my past. Then I turn it over and put it behind me in order to build my future. I trust my Higher Power to take over all the things I've tried to control. ************************************************** ~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~ In America, sex is an obsession; in other parts of the world it is a fact ~ Marlene Dietrich ~ Most of us were given conflicting lessons about sex, and we were often confused about how to fulfill our sexual nature. As young boys, some of us were told that our sexual impulses were bad. At the same time, we were told that sex is a sacred gift from God. Many of us grew up to have regrets about our sexual activities. Some of us were captured by pornography, turning others into sex objects. And sex became a drug of escape for many of us. Our spiritual goal is to fulfill our sexual and erotic nature in joyful, safe, and respectful ways. We move past our sexual anxieties by accepting the fact that sexual pleasure is God-given. It is simply a fact of life and its value depends upon how it is used. It is neither the path to life fulfillment nor the devil’s creation. When we align our sexuality with the rest of our lives, it is a pathway to connection and intimacy. Today I am grateful for my sexual nature and will express it in ways that I respect. ************************************************** ~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~ I can no longer afford the luxury of blaming others for my choices. ~ Jan Pishok ~ We may long for the years when we felt free to blame other people for our troubled lives. But living so irresponsibly didn’t benefit us. While it might seem overwhelming to shoulder the responsibility for all our choices, every action and reaction, this is the path to emotional maturity. That’s why we are here. Being accountable for our lives builds our self-esteem. When we first make the decision to be in charge, we may think the responsibility is more than we can handle. But with each conscious choice, we discover our strength and our resolve being enhanced. We do want emotional, mental, and spiritual health. That’s why we sought recovery. That’s why we have adopted these Twelve Steps as our guide-lines for living. Using them in all our daily affairs promises us the real luxury of growth and freedom from fear. I am in charge of my choices today. God will never steer me wrong. ************************************************** ~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~ I feel cared about I didn't think I could talk about my problems. If I did talk, I wasn't sure anyone would listen or care. But I was sure hurting, and desperate for relief. By getting into treatment for my dual disorder, I have found a way to get that relief. I now have a counselor and a support group. With their encouragement, I have found a Step group and a sponsor. Even all of these helpers cannot fix my problems, but they listen to me and they try to understand. They want me to feel better and this makes all the difference. I no longer feel as alone, unknown, or unwanted—I am very grateful. I will practice saying what hurts in the supportive environment of my helpers. ************************************************* ~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~ Finish each day and be done with it.... ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson ~ So often when we’ve had a hard day we dwell on it for a long time, preventing more pleasant thoughts from entering our minds. Peace eludes us and we can think only of the mistake we made, the dumb comment we blurted out, the important errand we forgot. This is a spiritual problem. First of all, out of the billions of people in the world there is not one other person who is dwelling on our bad day. We stand alone. Yet when we refuse to let go of the day’s problems it’s usually because we think many other people will dwell on what we did or said. We think we are the center of the universe. It’s also a spiritual problem because, by dwelling on the past, we ignore the gifts of the present and the blessings of tomorrow. Self-forgiveness is the key. If we find this hard at first, it’s okay. God will forgive us, and by asking for that forgiveness, we turn it over to Him and go on with our day. This is not hard to do, and the rewards are a better relationship with God and with ourselves, and the sure knowledge that we’re never alone and always forgivable. Today help me to see each new day as a chance to begin again with a clean slate and opportunities for joy and growth. ************************************************** ~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~ One doesn’t discover new lands without consenting to lose sight of the shore for a very long time. ~ Andre Gide ~ Imagine the stress Christopher Columbus and his crew felt as they set sail. At that time, the world was largely a place of unknowns. Columbus and his crew knew they were risking death and might never see their homeland and loved ones again. But that did not stop them from beginning their radical adventure. Risk taking means attempting something new, different, or unknown, without the comfort of knowing what the outcome will be. Being ready to take a risk does nol mean you will not feel nervous or afraid; fear is a natural reaction to the unknown. But fearing and still taking the risk is what risk taking is all about. The most successful risk takers are those who ask two important questions: “What’s the worst possible thing that could happen?” and “What do I have to lose?” Today, think of a risk you would like to take. First write down what you think you might lose by taking the risk. Then write down what you think you might gain, Keep the gain in mind, and take the risk! I resolve today to shift my attitude from can’t to can. I will put my fears and doubts aside and take a risk. ************************************************** ~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~ I think one must learn a different, less urgent sense of time here, one that depends on small amounts than big ones. ~ Sister Mary Paul ~ Up until the beginning of our adult lives, our growth depended on big moments: graduation from high school, leaving home, marriage, or entry into the job force. Now that we're adults, we still may have expectations that our lives will be composed of big moments, But things aren't always so momentous. Job promotions happen over time, as do salary increases. The move from apartment living to ownership of a condominium or house comes after years of saving or years of training for the job with the big salary. It's important to take our time and savor the smaller moments. Those are the moments we sometimes don't pay attention to because they seem minor and inconsequential when compared to bigger moments. Little moments, like small gift packages, can contain the richest and most satisfying rewards. What are some of the small but precious moments that happened today? Tonight I can appreciate their rewards, even if they're not the biggest I could get. ************************************************** ~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~ Growing spiritually The physical part of our addiction is not the main factor of our illness. Many of us have had allergies to products such as milk, but we didn’t have to join Milk Drinkers Anonymous because we couldn’t stop. The physical part would be of little consequence if it weren’t accompanied by an equally progressive spiritual deterioration. Because the major contributing factor to substance abuse is spiritual deterioration, the emphasis in recovery is on the spiritual. That is why only two Steps mention the alcoholic and ten talk about spiritual growth. Is my spiritual progress evident in all my actions? Higher Power, may the spiritual illumination of the Twelve Steps become a reality for me and help me grow today. Today, my plan for living spiritually is God help me to stay clean and sober today! ************************************************** ~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~ You were born God's original. Try not to become someone's copy. ~ MARIAN WRIGHT EDELMAN ~ Newcomer I feel capable and competent today. It's such a satisfying feeling. I got a compliment from someone at work, and for a change, instead of reacting with embarrassment, I knew I agreed. I simply said, "Thank you." Sponsor It's wonderful to hear you acknowledging yourself and naming your gifts, learning not to minimize yourself. The real you has been here all along, and so have your talents; what's different in recovery is that there are fewer obstacles in the way of your seeing and accepting yourself. We each came into the world with our own unique combination of qualities. There is no one else anywhere who is exactly like us. We've survived addiction. Our suffering has made us more compassionate, more capable of valuing our lives. Our journey in recovery is one of getting to know and value ourselves, of accepting all of us, the good and the bad, of discovering what we were meant to do and who we were meant to be in this lifetime. Some of us go off in different directions from those we took initially; others continue on a previous path, this time with joy and gratitude. Today, recovery is giving me the chance to be me. ************************************************** ~ THE EYE OPENER ~ Who can estimate the Mozarts, the Shakespeares, the Edisons, the Raphaels or the Jeffersons who stumbled through life in an alcoholic haze and achieved no greater acclaim than the title of "Drunken Bum." Many may have arrived at a drunkard's grave with their talents remaining unsuspected. Their bodies died before their souls began to live. You may never be a world-beater yourself, but you may say a word to someone else that might revolutionize his life, and that life may revolutionize the world. ************************************************** ~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~ Seeking Serenity Higher Power, when I was using, I chased an elusive thing called serenity. My journeys outside reality brought a false peace. When I returned to reality, I found harshness and pain, which caused me to run back to using. Run, escape, pain, run, escape, pain. Then something happened. My addiction wouldn't let me escape anymore. All that was left was the pain. Recovery has shown me reality, not the problem. Trying to escape reality is the problem. Finding You and the Twelve Steps and turning my life and will over to You has created a reality of inner peace and strength. I pray and believe and trust these changes in recovery are necessary and good for me. ************************************************* ~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~ YOUR OWN BRAND You cannot claim too much for yourself provided you claim the same thing for all other human beings. In fact, it is our duty to claim all good things and to continue claiming them until they demonstrate in our outer experience. Of course, this law works both ways and therefore you must be very careful not to claim the negative things that you do not want. On the western ranches the owner of a steer brands it with his name, "Bar A Ranch" or some such cipher. Then if it should wander into strange territory it will always be returned to him. On the other hand, when an animal without his brand wanders into his corral, he says, "That is not my steer," and out it goes. Many a foolish person puts his mental brand on a steer that he does not want in the least, and is surprised when the animal stays obstinately at home. People say my rheumatism, my forgetfulness, my poverty, et cetera, branding the steers they do not want instead of turning them out of the corral. When you really want something' brand it deeply with your own name and it will be yours. . . . but every one . . . shall keep himself to his own inheritance (Numbers 36:9). ************************************************** ~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~ With the Energy If your morals make you dreary, depend upon it, they are wrong. I do not say give them up, for they may be all you have, but conceal them like a vice lest they should spoil the lives of better and simpler people. ~ Robert Louis Stevenson ~ As I was about to step up to the podium to speak at a church dedication in Virginia, it occurred to me that the service was probably on a strict schedule, and I did not want to exceed my time allotment. I turned to the minister and asked her, "How long would you like my talk to be?" She smiled and answered, "Just go with the energy." I was touched and surprised that she trusted me and Spirit so implicitly. I have spoken at churches where ministers and board members cautioned me with dire seriousness not to exceed 20 minutes, since some church members complain if the service goes 5 minutes over schedule. I wonder why such people would go to church; is it out of joy and love, or are they simply paying their dues? Structure and rules help life function more peacefully, but the spirit of an activity is more important than the form. In Hawaii, the colloquial name for Caucasians is Haole, which translates to "without breath." One explanation for the term goes back to the time when white missionaries first conducted church services in the Hawaiian islands. The native Hawaiians observed that the missionaries' practice of prayer was in sharp contrast to the Hawaiians'. While the Hawaiians prayed with song, dance, color, and laughter, the missionary services were somber, rote, muttered and, as far as the Hawaiians could tell, lifeless and "breathless." The word spiritual implies spirit and aliveness. If we are not bringing vitality and joy to our spiritual path, we are missing its essence. Fear shuts down life, and joy opens it. Move with the energy; things go better when we let life flow. I pray to make my spiritual practices come alive with joy and celebration. No longer will I worship at the altar of fear. From this dayan, I live from the heart. My deep trust in life is rewarded with continual miracles. |
October 11
Step by Step ” …A body badly burned by alcohol does not often recover overnight nor do twisted thinking and depression vanish in a twinkling. We are convinced that a spiritual mode of living is a most powerful health restorative. We, who have recovered from serious drinking, are miracles of mental health. … “But this does not mean that we disregard human health measures. God has abundantly supplied this world with fine doctors, psychologists and practitioners of various kinds. Do not hesitate to take your health problems to such persons.” – Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, Ch 9 (“The Family Afterward”), p 133. Today, recovery from extended daily drinking will come in time and only if I allow it by total abstinence. It took a long time for my body, mind and spirit to become part of the alcoholic culture; it may take as long or longer to recover. In my zeal to recover, let me understand that my physical recovery may take weeks or months but that my spiritual and emotional recovery will take longer – perhaps a lifetime longer. And until my spiritual and emotional health is back on an even playing field although my body has recovered, I need to realize that the Twelve Steps are the way for me to recover. But should I suspect a need for medical or psychological treatment, let me not be reluctant to seek it out. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M. ************************************************* ~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~ FAITH AND TRUST Faith is not belief without proof, but trust without reservation. ~ Anonymous ~ We had only to meet the first person that greeted us in the first meeting we attended in our recovery to know that the Program worked. Our faith in how it works is illustrated for us by the lives of millions of men and women who are recovering. If we rely on miracles to develop a faith, our Program can be an unlimited provider of them. The real issue for the person in recovery is one of trust, the day-in, day-out, come-what-may trust in a Higher Power. What was discovered by the early members of our Fellowship has been rediscovered time and again in every meeting where members gather to share their recovery: that we can unreservedly trust in God to do for us what we cannot do for ourselves. I have learned a new meaning to the word faith: trust in a Higher Power, in the Program, and in myself. ************************************************** ~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~ Love consists in this, that two solitudes protect and touch and greet each other. ~ Rainer Maria Rilke ~ Mature love is a powerful and wonderful thing that has to be learned in adulthood. Children are certainly capable of loving and receiving love, but they are not yet fully formed as individuals. Adult intimacy is like a bridge spanning the space between two people. When our intimate partner confides in us and becomes vulnerable, our task is to make that moment safe. And when we become vulnerable, we have a right to the same safety—which means no disrespect and no demeaning or abusive behavior. When someone puts trust in us, it is our duty to honor it. Some of us grew up in families where love was paired with abuse and disrespect. The very people who loved us sometimes deliberately hurt us. As adults we may find ourselves being more decent and polite to strangers than to our loved ones. This becomes our adult challenge: to act respectfully to our loved ones and protect and honor the trust they have placed in us. Today I will be most respectful of my intimate partner, who is the most vulnerable to me. ************************************************** ~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~ What honest heart denies that many delights are based on the premise that others will not, even cannot, do what you do? ~ Florida Scott-Maxwell ~ Seldom do our successes come easy, so taking pride in our accomplishments is appropriate. But being grateful for our Higher Power’s help is even more appropriate. This partnership assures us of success, even when we think we have done it alone. Our culture admonishes us to be self-reliant, independent, strong. None of these qualities are inherently wrong, but they leave us short-changed. We also need to depend on God, to be vulnerable, and to look to other people for support and love, just as they look to us. No one can do anything in exactly the way we do. And that empowers us. We bring our unique perception to every undertaking, and this vision, coupled with God’s participation, interprets and guides our understanding and our response. I have an assignment today. Every day, in fact, I am doing God’s work. I’ll have help if I accept it. ************************************************** ~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~ I can make my needs known When I experience symptoms of my psychiatric illness, my friends and family can sometimes make the situation worse. I think they get afraid—perhaps because they don't understand me or my problems. Sometimes they want to "fix" my problem (which is not appropriate) or else they expect me to just change the way I feel or behave (which is unrealistic). In the past I've felt angry and frustrated about this sort of treatment. But now that I've had counseling for a while, I've learned more about my problems and especially about what helps me feel better and get stable again. For instance, when I'm having symptoms, I think I do better when, instead of a fix or a demand, I get some flexibility, a friendly ear, and an open mind. I will write down two important needs when I'm having symptoms and talk about them with my counselor and a trusted friend. ************************************************* ~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~ What great thing ever came into existence that was not first fantasy? ~ Carl Jung ~ Many of us used to be great dreamers. During active addiction, we often settled for the dream itself instead of working to make that dream come true. It’s true that dreams do come true, but they often require work. Perhaps we don’t feel that we deserve to have our dreams come true. Perhaps we tell ourselves it won’t happen because our dream is unrealistic. Maybe we’re afraid of all the work we’d need to do. When we have doubts, we can remind our-selves of how much we’ve accomplished so far. Not long ago we were on a one-way street to destruction. Now we are regaining our health, taking care of ourselves in ways we’d not dreamt of before. Perhaps in working toward one dream we will accomplish something totally unexpected, something we hadn’t foreseen, but which was a part of God’s plan for us all along. God has given us dreams for a reason, and He has given us this moment to take a small step toward those dreams, a small step into His plan for us. Now is the time for us to step into life’s great adventure. Today let me have the courage to believe in my dream. ************************************************** ~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~ I have always known that at last I would take this road, but yesterday I did not know it would be today. ~ Narihira ~ Itis not always easy to set goals in your life. Sometimes you may know exactly what you want to do and how to achieve it. Other times you may know what you would like, but have no idea how to get it. And there may be times when you simply do not know what it is that you want. The best way to approach setting goals is to begin by writing down the things you would like to achieve. Perhaps you would like to speak at a meeting or develop a new circle of friends. Next consider the steps you need to take for each of these things. To speak at a meeting, first create an outline for what you would like to say and rehearse your talk. To make new friends in the program, Attend different meetings, volunteer at a meeting, or arrive at a meeting early so you have time to mingle with others. When you do this, you create an action plan for achievement. It is one that provides you with direction as well as manageable activities that will lead you in the right direction. I will consider what I need to do to achieve a goal, rather than focus on a goal. ************************************************** ~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~ People who fly into a rage always make a bad landing. ~ Will Rogers ~ We may have learned rage at a very early age from an alcoholic parent. We may have found we could manipulate people and distance them by taking off at them like a rocker. We found they had no choice but to take cover or speedily undo what they had done to make us angry. Today, we may feel a need to fly into a rage because we fear someone will see our human, vulnerable side. Now that we're dealing in feelings, our rage may simply be a symptom of our own frustration in the slow process of recovery. If a mirror were placed in front of us during one of our rages, we probably wouldn't recognize the person in the reflection. We can do far more harm than good, more damage than repair, and generate more feelings of dislike than like. Do we need to fly into a rage anymore? Tonight we can treat raging behavior as a thing of the past and move on to mature, constructive behavior. Do I remember my last rage? What did it accomplish? Tonight I can work on new scenarios for old, immature behaviors. ************************************************** ~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~ Using the program Some nonaddicted people accuse us of using our program as a crutch. They are quick to put down what they don’t understand. But let’s question this reasoning. People have to work to earn a living; we have to work our program to live. Is a job a crutch? A job is a form of support, and our fellow-ship is also a form of support. We need never be ashamed of our glorious fellowship, which has brought so much joy into so many lives. Do I use the program to the fullest? Higher Power, may I know that I do not have to justify my program, my addiction, or my existence. Today I will use the program by God help me to stay clean and sober today! ************************************************** ~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~ Those who do not know how to weep with their whole heart don't know how to enough either. ~ GOLDA MEIR ~ Newcomer I've gotten closer to myself lately. I'm not as afraid to accept the truth of where I've been, and what I've lost. It hurts, though. As I clear up, I can see the wreckage of the past far more vividly than I did even as recently as a few months ago, but I still have a lot of grieving to do. Sponsor As I become more whole, I grieve for the lost soul I now see myself to have been. I grieve for the person who was so damaged. I've changed so much; I'm still connected to my previous self but I'm no longer where I was. In a sense, that person has had to die in order for me to be here today, alive and grateful. My past experience is part of what brought me here, and I thank the person I used to be for letting me survive. For those who are willing, recovery makes it possible to have an intimate, loving relationship with ourselves. Like intimacy with others, intimacy with ourselves opens us to a wide array of feelings. Sober, we risk a deeper experience of feelings we previously tried to avoid. Today, as I become whole, I grieve for the person I used to be. ************************************************** ~ THE EYE OPENER ~ We are not in a position to give an opinion on leprosy, jungle fever, hoof-and-mouth disease or other minor ailments like that, but when it comes to the really "big sickness"—hang-overs—we can speak with some authority. How any piece of mechanism could take the rough treatment we gave our human bodies would make it appear, on the surface, that Nature intended to make us live to punish ourselves in a manner that Nature itself could not duplicate. Outraged Nature could only confine its retribution to the body. The mental and spiritual beating we took was administered by ourselves. That was the most cruel of all. ************************************************** ~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~ Fear No More I will not fear those who have hurt me, For You have given me power. I shall sleep without nightmares; You have given me peace. I shall awaken with a clear and rested mind; You have given me clarity. I shall start my day happy, joyous, and free; You have given me my recovery; You have given me a new life. For Your grace, I will demonstrate my gratitude In useful and positive action Throughout this day. ************************************************* ~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~ FREE WILL OR FATE The capriciousness of destiny was a favorite subject with the old-fashioned novelists. In their three-volume world, people’s lives were at the mercy of trifling accidents from day to day. A person’s whole life was spoiled because one letter was stolen or went astray. The hero rose from obscurity to wealth and fame through meeting a casual stranger in a railroad car, or through saving someone from drowning at the seashore. One false step ruined an otherwise promising career. All this is nonsense. We are not at the mercy of accidents for there are no accidents, and trifles have only trifling effects. In the long run your own character makes or breaks you. This is true of the individual, of a nation, of a parry or of any institution. . . . thou upholdest me in mine integrity . . . (Psalm 41:12). ************************************************** ~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~ Don't Wait for Worth Think not you lack a special value here. ~ A Course in Miracles ~ In all his lifetime, Vincent Van Gogh sold a single painting for a pittance. At a recent auction, one of Van Gogh's paintings sold for $82.5 million-an all-time high for a piece of artwork. Currently four of his paintings are among the ten highest-priced paintings ever sold. It's ironic that Van Gogh was not acknowledged during his lifetime, and posthumously has become the highest-valued painter in history. This tells me that the immediate reaction or acknowledgment of the world is not always an indication of true quality. Quite often great artists and geniuses are overlooked in the early stages of their careers or during their lifetime. When setting out to create art, music, or literature, to invent an object or method of service, or to choose a career, consult your own heart rather than the world. If you build your creations around the opinions of others, you will give your power away rather than draw it from within. As you allow your creations to spring from your inner vision, you will be a master of your own destiny and ultimately render great service. Anyone can plug numbers into a formula. Many movie, television, novel, and song writers play on stock storylines that are sure to sell to the masses; some successful writers crank out plot after plot that simply dress old puppets in new clothing. True art, on the other hand, moves beyond what has been, and invites viewers to look at life from a grander perspective. Here is where originality, spirituality, and vision are called for. Such inventors must play on the cutting edge of their own creativity and call the masses to be bigger than they were. Allow your genius to come forth uniquely-it is your greatest hope to live your destiny. I pray to be a channel for fresh and wonderful ideas that bring healing and empowerment. The mind of God within me creates beauty, service, enlightenment, and success. |
October 12
Step by Step ” …(T)he best thing of all for me is to remember that my serenity is inversely proportional to my expectations. The higher my expectations …the lower is my serenity. I can watch my serenity level rise when I discard my expectations. But then my ‘rights’ try to move in, and they, too, can force my serenity level down. I have to discard my ‘rights,’ as well as my expectations, by asking myself, ‘How important is it, really? How important is it compared to my serenity, my emotional sobriety?’ And when I place more value on my serenity and sobriety than on anything else, I can maintain them at a higher level – at least for the time being.” – Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, “They Stopped in Time,” Ch 17 (“Doctor, Alcoholic, Addict”), p 452. Today, sobriety with respect as a gift instead of a “right” that is no more a right than the ability to drink responsibly, a privilege I have lost. By thinking of sobriety as a gift, may other of my expectations of recovery be realistically framed: that I not expect the daily challenges or problems that non-alcoholics have, that I not feel entitled to a “free ride” without bumps, turmoils, even tragedies. Sobriety must be respected as a gift and not a right, a gift that requires development, nurturing and the constant reminder that it can be taken away – if I neglect it. Today, sobriety is a gift, sometimes fragile. I will handle it with care and respect. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M. ************************************************** ~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~ ALTERNATIVES A person is usually not attached to anything more than their own suffering. ~ Anonymous ~ We all have a choice between widely separated alternatives. We can like ourselves or hate ourselves. We can lift ourselves up or put ourselves down. We can be for ourselves or against ourselves. Actions, attitudes, and thinking determine the direction of our choices. We can have more self-esteem and happiness or we can be depressed and miserable. The negative approach always is the easiest. It takes little effort to be a sufferer. It is said that some addicted people can never feel comfortable unless they are uncomfortable. Fortunately, we don't have to think unkindly of ourselves, even when we are remembering what kind of person we used to be. We have alternatives. It is wise to take them. I am responsible for my recovery. I have alternatives and the choices are mine. With the help of my Higher Power, I will make the right ones. ************************************************** ~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~ Unknowingly we plow the dust of stars, blown about us by the wind, and drink the universe in a glass of rain. ~ Ihab Hassan ~ Do we find it difficult to make conscious contact with a Power greater than ourselves? Does the spiritual plane seem out of reach? All we need to do is open our consciousness to the awesome big picture. We make contact with the ages of the universe by simply drinking a glass of water. The apple we eat is made of atoms and molecules that have been transformed countless times and only at this moment take the shape of an apple. Next they will become part of our human body. This simple mindfulness puts us in direct contact with the vastness of space and time. Our senses taste, smell, and feel the contact while our rational mind simply feels awe. We were brought into being by forces that we cannot explain, and we will be carried forward on the wave of life. We can accept this ultimate force and relax into it. Today I will be mindful of my constant contact with powers I cannot understand. ************************************************** ~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~ The more we give, the more we receive. ~ Veronica Ray ~ We blame human nature for our desire to get rather than give. There are people who focus on giving, however. We see them at meetings. We probably wonder how these people do it, and why. We’d be wise if we quit wondering and simply tried to imitate their behavior. We’ve heard the advice “Give it away in order to keep it” often at meetings. In the early days we failed to understand the message. We can’t use that excuse any more. Our insecurity, or perhaps our stinginess, wants to hang on to our possessions, our well-being, our understanding of “how it works.” The paradox is that we’ll lose what we have if we don’t share it with others. Every episode in our life is an opportunity to share the wisdom we have gained from living the principles of this program. It is no coincidence that we have been given this wisdom. Let’s share it. I will be willing to share what I have learned with the others in my life today. At least one of them needs what I can offer. ************************************************** ~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~ I care about my health these days In the last few months before I hit bottom with my dual disorder, I didn’t care what I ate or whether I slept. In a way, my body was not important. I seriously neglected my health, especially with my addiction. In a way, I wanted to feel nothing. But nowadays in recovery, I am paying my body much more attention. I am starting to forgive myself and thus make amends to my body. I am learning that along with spiritual and emotional work, I feel best when I support the physical work of my recovery, too. I will practice eating healthy food today and get some exercise. ************************************************* ~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~ When you’re through learning, you’re through. ~ Vernon Law ~ Recovery is a series of changes occurring over a period of time. Many people identify the beginning of recovery as the day they stopped drinking or using. That’s a beginning, a turning point, but the disease stays with us. It’s up to us to continue to learn, to continue to work our program, and to let our new knowledge give shape and meaning to our lives. We may not have been able to comprehend all this a while ago. But the process goes on if we keep learning and growing in sobriety. We may be unlucky to have been victimized by a lifelong, chronic disease. Sometimes we may feel discouraged as we work at our recovery and encounter new obstacles as we progress. But the fact is that our recovery is unique. By working our program, we can become even healthier than we ever were before our disease took hold. How many other people can look forward to that? With an awareness of all that can be ours, and willingness to learn, we can find ourselves happier, healthier, and more fulfilled with each new day. Today help me be open to change and growth in sobriety. ************************************************** ~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~ Prayer should he short, without giving God Almighty reasons why he should grant this, or that; he knows best what is good for us. ~ John Selden ~ A Native American belief holds that everyone is a house made up of four rooms—a physical room (the body), a mental room (the mind), an emotional room (feelings), and a spiritual room (connection with a Higher Power). The ideal is to “live” in each room equally, so that “occupancy” of one room is not in an imbalance with the others. But how often do you live in only one or two rooms? Perhaps the room you visit the least is the spiritual room. This may be based on a spiritual disconnect that has gone on for a long time in your life, or may simply be because you are uncertain of how to develop a connection with your Higher Power. Any spiritual connection begins with prayer. You can use familiar prayers from your youth or repeat a positive affirmation or a favorite slogan from the program. You can ask your Higher Power to watch over those people in your life who matter most to you. But what is most important is that you begin to spend more time in your spiritual room. Dust it off, tidy it up, and make it a comfortable space that you enjoy visiting. I will set aside time each day for prayer. ************************************************** ~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~ If you are too busy to pray, you are too busy. ~ Anonymous ~ Our growth depends on our mental, physical, and spiritual health. Yet too often we may spend more time on physical and mental growth than on spiritual growth. When this happens, all three suffer. Through recovery, we may find we've been able to set aside time for hobbies and relaxation and for eating right and getting enough rest. Yet our spiritual side may be easily sacrificed due to time constrains. A little extra sleep in the morning may mean we have to skip our morning prayer and meditation. A long night of socializing, and our sleepy minds may opt for rest rather than a few moments of prayer. When we start to cut back or postpone our spiritual times, we're eventually going to harm our mental and physical sides. We need to allow time for prayer and meditation and be able to stick to that time—no matter what! Do I pray on a regular basis? Tonight let me spend time in prayer and meditation to benefit my mental and physical health. ************************************************** ~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~ Putting first things first When we have loved ones who are also in the program, we must constantly remind our-selves where our priorities lie. We are told not to interfere in family members’ pro-grams. We have to take care of our own ad-diction first before attending to the affairs of others. Once we turn our attention to loved ones, the same principle applies. We must respond to the addict in them first and then attend to other matters. Our responsibility to the addict in people must come first, or we may lose sight of our true priorities and mess up our own lives as well as theirs. Do I put first things first? My messages come from my Higher Power first. May they flow through me and then spread to loved ones and to all other areas of my life. Today I will reassess my priorities and God help me to stay clean and sober today! ************************************************** ~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~ It is better to protest than to accept injustice. ~ ROSA PARKS ~ Newcomer I've started to realize that I'm not being paid adequately for my work. I don't know if it's possible to change that in my current position, but it's making me see that I've undervalued my abilities for a long time now, and that has led others to undervalue me as well. In the past, because of my low self-esteem, I always told myself that I was lucky to have any job and I couldn't afford to rock the boat. Now I'm beginning to see things differently. Sponsor We deserve to be appropriately compensated for the work we do. There are some fields and positions in which the degree of financial compensation is limited, but the other rewards are great; we may choose work that pays less than we'd like but that allows us an opportunity to do something we love. Each of us must determine our own priorities. We need to be honest with ourselves about whether we're being appreciated or simply exploited; whether we're accepting the reality that there's a current market value for what we do or are too timid to ask for what our work is worth. Change is always possible. Today, I take an honest look at my relationship to work. If I'm dissatisfied with the work itself or the way I'm being compensated I take a step in the direction of change. ************************************************** ~ THE EYE OPENER ~ There can be no liberty for any man unless he is free, and he can never be free as long as he is a slave to anything, save God himself. If a person subjects himself, body and soul, to the Will of God, then he is indeed free, for then God resides in him and he in God. They become to a more or less degree one and the same. Blended into a-perfect oneness above all earthly domination and as free as God himself is free. ************************************************** ~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~ God Is Our Shelter God is our shelter and strength, always ready to help in times of trouble. So we will not be afraid, even if the earth is shaken even if the seas roar and rage, and the hills are shaken by violence. The Lord Almighty is with us. ~ Psalm 46: 1-3, 11 ~ ************************************************* ~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~ GOD WORKS WITH JOY Don't pray or meditate as a duty. Realize that prayer is a visit with God and should be joyous. Neither must you pursue your secular activities as necessary duties to be gotten over, that you may return to your prayer. In the light of Truth, there are no secular activities. You must have regular recreation or you will become stale. Recreation, also, is to be enjoyed—as an expression of God—and not as a task to prepare yourself to pray better. An understanding joy in living is the highest prayer of all. . . . in thy presence is fullness of joy . . . (Psalm 16:11). ************************************************** ~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~ Honesty and Truth Ah, love, let us be true to one another! ~ Matthew Arnold ~ Do you know the difference between honesty and truth? Honesty means that your words and deeds are consistent with your experience. Truth means that your expressions are consistent with reality. EST founder Werner Erhard did an experiment in which he gathered together various groups of people who knew each other and asked one person to sit in the center of each group. The people in the circle were asked to express their feelings and reactions to the person in the center. The group members spoke in turn, over and over until they had each communicated all of their deepest and most personal feelings. Werner discovered a consistent pattern—the initial responses were usually negative communications: "l am upset about this” and "I don't like when you do that." At a certain point after each person had exhausted expressing their upsets, they began to spontaneously express their appreciation for the subject. Finally, nearly every person, without any coaching, spontaneously communicated, “I love you.” This experiment tells me that at the core of our being we really love each other and we seek to express that love. Our fears and upsets cover the love at the center. When we honestly bring our upsets into the light, we unveil the love that was hidden. When these group members told of their angers and irritations, they were honest. When they declared their love, they were telling the truth. We must be honest before we can be truthful. you cannot express the truth of love if you are harboring major areas of unspoken pain or upset. Be unafraid to speak of your upsets. lf you hold your communications with the intention of healing and awakening, they will bring you to the love that is the truth. Show me the truth of my love. I speak from the heart and illuminate the truth. |
October 13
Step by Step “A ‘spiritual experience’ to me meant attending meetings, seeing a group of people, all there for the purpose of helping each other; hearing the Twelve Steps and the Twelve Traditions read at a meeting, and hearing the Lord’s Prayer, which in an AA meeting has such great meaning – ‘Thy will be done, not mine.’ A spiritual awakening soon came to mean trying each day to be a little more thoughtful, more considerate, a little more courteous to those with whom I came in contact.” – Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, “They Stopped in Time,” Ch 10 (“It Might Have Been Worse”), p 381. Today, if somewhere in AA I have become even “a little more courteous to those with whom I came in contact,” I may not yet realize I have experienced a spiritual awakening. And to experience such an awakening, maybe I can understand the spiritual component of the program even if I still think I have no faith. To have a spiritual experience even if it is something as seemingly minor as being a little more courteous to other people, logically requires a spiritual belief – even if I cannot or will not acknowledge it. Today, if I can honestly see even a small change in myself for the better, I may be starting to see the possibility of a power greater than myself. If so, I’m on the right track toward recovery. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M. ************************************************** ~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~ REMEMBER WHEN We can be positive that our active addiction was negative. ~ Anonymous ~ The memory of our First Step is a memory we want to keep always fresh in our minds. The First Step asks us to "remember when." We never leave our First Step. It is current history. It is now. We will hear in meetings someone tell a story of relapse. "After three months, I went out. . . . After six months. . . . After one year. . . ." We never outgrow our First Step. In fact, we never have more than one day of abstinence. We all have one more relapse in us, but do we have one more recovery? We go to meetings first and foremost to remember who we are and what it used to be like. When we want to go to a meeting, we can walk; when we don't, we should run. I will always "remember when." When I forget about my First Step, I am destined to repeat it again. ************************************************** ~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~ Two things a man should never be angry at: what he can help, and what he cannot help. ~ Thomas Fuller ~ In the Serenity Prayer, we pray for the wisdom to know the difference between what we can change and what we cannot. That distinction can be hard for many of us to recognize. When we finally see the reality clearly— that some things we face cannot be controlled by our own will or fixed by force—new possibilities open up to us. When we stop trying to move a mountain, our relationship to the mountain changes. We start to live at peace with the mountain. At the same time we can take greater responsibility for those parts of our lives that we can change. Peace of mind comes from accepting what we can do nothing about and taking responsibility for what we can. Today I pray for the wisdom that helps me know the difference. ************************************************** ~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~ We know our greatest anger, as well as our deepest love, in our roles as daughters, sisters, lovers, wives, and mothers. ~ Harriet Lemer ~ Denying our anger is not unusual. We were trained well in our families to deny anger and repress other feelings, such as love. We are suffering from the repercussions of that training now. It is okay to be angry, but how we deal with anger is important. Using it against ourselves or to manipulate others is not healthy. Acknowledging anger is the first step to being free of it. That sounds easy, but if we were raised to deny anger, admitting we feel it is risky. Our sponsors and friends who share this program are role models we can follow. There is a lot of hard work ahead of us in recovery if we’re angry. But if we weren’t ready for it, we wouldn’t be here. We get the opportunities for growth that we are prepared to handle. Let’s trust our feelings and share them all at last. It is safe to talk about my anger today. I will be honest with those I can trust. My happiness is tied to my honesty. ************************************************** ~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~ I need to take more responsibility for my recovery At first I didn't want treatment at all. I felt sorry for myself because of my problems—I didn’t like my moods or the way I was drinking—but I wasn't willing to do much about them. I didn't think they were serious. But a trip to detox helped to change my mind. Finally I could admit to my dual disorder and I could face my need to deal with it. Nobody can recover for me. My doctor or counselor or group or sponsor or friends can offer guidance and support, but it is up to me to follow through and make the changes. With the help of my higher power, I will do what I need to do. I will meditate on how I can strengthen and support my recovery. ************************************************* ~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~ Character is a victory, not a gift. ~ Ivor Griffith ~ When our “King Baby” attitude rears its head, we want our life to be in order— NOW. It is inconceivable to us that our character needs changing: “Surely my wife is causing my anguish;” “If you knew my kids, you’d see why I drink.” But somewhere down the line we wake up and learn that our character might need a little more fixing than we thought. If we are honest with ourselves we must admit we can be bossy, and yes, we like things our way. But now we’re growing serene enough to realize that others have problems, too. The kids are struggling with the same things we struggled with, and in a world more complicated and dangerous than ours. If we’ve been lucky, our spouse or partner has stuck with us all this way, even though it hasn’t been easy or the way they would have chosen. Life would be easier if things always went our way, but now we are equal to the challenge of compromise and capable of redirecting our attitudes. Now that we have been given back our self-respect, it’s time to give our respect and understanding to others. Today help me see my arrogance and inflexibility. Help me bend to another’s needs when it is warranted. ************************************************** ~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~ A child’s attitude toward everything is an artist’s attitude. ~ Willa Cather ~ Imagine that you have set aside a few hours to take your children to the park. To provide entertainment, you pack a bag with things to keep them occupied—some balls, a game, and art supplies. When you arrive at the park, the children want to run around in circles chasing each other, roll and tumble on the ground, and look up at the clouds. They do not need a planned activity; all they want to do is play. When you look at the world through a child’s eyes, you will see a world of freedom and creativity, where there is no concept of time or reality. It is a world in which anything can happen, if you only wish it or imagine it. Play is an important part of life—both for children as well as for adults. If all you are doing in your life is working at your job, your relationship, and your recovery, then nil you are doing is working. There needs to be some time in your life in which you offset the seriousness of work with spontaneity. There is wonder, marvel, and magic in life. Take time to engage in playfulness, and you can rediscover the fun in life. What can I do today to help me feel as happy and carefree as a child? ************************************************** ~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~ I could almost dislike the [person] who refuses to plant walnut trees because they do not bear fruit till the second generation. . . . ~ Sir Walter Scott ~ There once was a man who wanted to give up his high-salary job to start a Christmas tree farm. He told his friends about his dream. The first thing they asked him is how much money would he make. “A lot," he said, "once it gets started." "How long will that take?" they wondered. "Years," was his reply. “First I have to purchase the land, then prepare the soil, then plant the seedlings, then tend them with care until they mature. By the time I'm forty-five," he concluded, “I’ll have my first Christmas trees to sell." None of his friends could understand why he would want to take a risk on such a long-term venture. But deep down inside he knew this was his dream and this would make him happy. It didn't matter how long it took for him to get what he wanted. What was important was that he was working on his dream. Do I have any long-range dreams I believe will never happen because they'll take too long? Tonight I can visualize my dream and take the first step toward making it happen. ************************************************** ~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~ People-pleasing People-pleasing! Why do we spend so much time and energy trying to please other people? We sometimes find ourselves saying yes to every request made of us. Perhaps we try to please people in exchange for affirmation. Perhaps we feel guilty about our past and want to make up for it. Or maybe we just need to be in the limelight. People-pleasing or being yes-people only hurts us. What is not coming from our hearts and is not done in the true spirit of loving is only another game of martyrdom or egoism. We are learning not to play these games any longer. Do I serve others from the heart? Higher Power, I need not please those around me to be a nice person, but I do need to serve others through you in the true spirit of love. Today I will examine my true feelings about God help me to stay clean and sober today! ************************************************** ~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~ One must fight for a life of action, not reaction. ~ RITA MAE BROWN ~ Newcomer I spoke up at work about a situation that I'm starting to find unacceptable. A person in a position superior to mine speaks to me in a way that's disrespectful. I'm good at the work I do, but this person is always tearing me down. I told her that I wanted her to treat me differently, and she seemed surprised and then defensive. When I was talking to her, I felt calm, centered, and strong. When I got home, I was shaking. I feel as if I'm going to be punished. Sponsor Each time we represent ourselves as people whose needs deserve to be taken seriously, we're strengthened. In time, it becomes second nature. We're less likely to let unacceptable situations build up over a long period of time; we recorganize and address them promptly. At first, we may have experiences like the one you describe: we're able to assert ourselves, but then suffer a kind of emotional "backlash." Maybe we've always taken what others dished out and have accumulated reserves of anger, or maybe we unleashed rage beyond anything the current situation merited. In either case, we reacted inappropriately, inviting others to retaliate. As our self-esteem is strengthened by recovery we're no longer able to participate silently in unacceptable situations. I want to congratulate you for having the dignity and the courage to speak your truth, and to do it in a calm, undramatic way. Eventually, you'll lose the need to inflict punishment on yourself for speaking up. Today, I'm neither a victim nor an aggressor. I'm proactive in my life. ************************************************** ~ THE EYE OPENER ~ What will be the ultimate result if AA becomes too attractive? It is felt now that some people are joining our ranks, not because they have a major drinking problem, but because they fear they have alcoholic tendencies. Our meetings are interesting, friendly and informative. Will AA degenerate into a Social Club and cease to be the last refuge of the suffering alcoholic? Will we find eventually that we have too many "enjoying" AA and too few fully appreciating the “responsibilities" that attend our membership? ************************************************** ~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~ Our Faithful, Unchangeable Friend How good is the God we adore, Our faithful, unchangeable friend! His love is as great as His power, And knows neither limit nor end! Our Creator, the First and the Last, Whose Spirit shall guide us safely home, We'll praise Him for all that is past, We'll trust Him for all that's to come. ~ by Joseph Hart ~ ************************************************* ~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~ TACKLING THAT BUGBEAR When what seems an especially difficult problem or a great emergency presents itself, many students of Truth start by thinking, “This is very serious," and then proceed to brace themselves mentally for a supreme effort; and plan to pray exceedingly “hard” in order to meet the difficulty. All this is quite wrong. It simply builds up the problem into something far bigger than it was originally. The right attitude, the one that bring Victory, is to think “God can and will solve this problem.” Instead of speaking the Word from the low altitude of fear and limitation, and trusting to effort to magnify the Lord, stop thinking of the problem altogether, and rise in consciousness. Having now attained a higher level—speak the Word gently from that level, and your problem will be solved. For the word of God is quick, and powerful . . . (Hebrews 4:12). ************************************************** ~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~ The Mirror's Gift We think in secret and it comes to pass; Environment is our looking glass. ~ James Allen ~ One day while living in a farming community, I sat on a porch and watched Pete the duck quack at several people on their way to lunch. As the first lady, a singer, passed Pete, she exclaimed, "Why Pete, how nice of you to sing me a morning song!" The next person was somewhat overweight. When Pete quacked at her, she retorted, "Always quacking for more food, Pete-it's about time you got serious about your diet!" The final person to pass was a cerebral intellectual. When Pete quacked at him, he responded, "Questions, Pete, always questions! How about some answers for a change?" Meanwhile, Pete just went on quacking. Each of us sees the world not as it is, but as we are. The world we experience is a direct result of the vision we are using. If we see a cruel and threatening world, we are filtering it through cruel and threatening thoughts. If we look upon a world of beauty and delight, we must hold those thoughts to create that perception. At any moment, we can choose which vision we will employ and which world we will live in. Even if we have chosen dark or painful thoughts, we can shift our vision and immediately transform our experience. The world we see reflects the thoughts with which we build it. Show me the beauty, goodness, and purity that reflects my true self. My vision is God's. My beautiful thoughts create a beautiful world. |
October 14
Step by Step “My alcoholic problem began long before I drank. My personality, from the time I can remember anything, was the perfect set-up for an alcoholic career. I was always at odds with the entire world, not to say the universe. I was out of step with life, with my family, with people in general. I tried to compensate with impossible dreams and ambitions, which were simply early forms of escape. Even when I was old enough to know better, I dreamed about being as beautiful as Venus, as pure as the Madonna and as brilliant as the president of the United States is supposed to be. I had writing ambitions, and nothing would do but that I’d write like Shakespeare. …Inside, I went right on being a mass of unlovely self-pity, queasy anxiety and sickening self-debasement. Naturally, I succeeded at nothing.” – Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, “They Stopped in Time,” Ch 13 (“Stars Don’t Fall”), p 400. Today, understanding that my alcoholism was rooted long before my first drink. My “job” of being perfect in everything, whether I expected it of myself or it was expected by others, left no room for other than “self-pity, queasy anxiety and sickening self-debasement” when I failed to reach perfection. And alcohol became my self-medication. Having come to AA, God grant that I understand now that I can attain something higher in sobriety and that perfection can never be attained and, when it isn’t, I do not have to internalize a sense of failure. To do so will likely ignite that engine of “self-pity, queasy anxiety and sickening self-debasement” – and its fuel is alcohol. Today, I ask only for progress: perfection can wait another day. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M. ************************************************** ~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~ LETTING GO I can't handle it, God. You take over. ~ Anonymous ~ The life we lived in the dark world of our disease was a terrifying one. It was as if we were perched on a tiny ledge thousands of feet up the side of a mountain. The drop was straight down. We never dared to look up or down because we so desperately feared falling. All we could do was feed our disease and tremble in fear. We were stuck. There was no room on our ledge for anyone else. We were all alone. Every day, little bits and pieces of our perch would fall off. All we could do was wait. Finally, out of desperation, we looked up and saw thousands of people urging us to climb. They reached down and created a human chain for us to climb. All we had to do was let go of our perch and take the hands extended to us. We stood, looked up, let go, and took the hands. We were safe. I'm not stuck any more. I've let go of my fear and accept help when I need it. ************************************************** ~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~ If allowed, time and nature will heal you. Remember that you do not have to heal yourself. Nature is ready to do it if you step out of her way and do not present her with those unnecessary obstacles, despair and disappointment. ~ Dr. Claire Weekes ~ The Second Step tells us that a Power greater than ourselves can restore us to sanity. This is the hope Step. It tells us that we don’t have to do it; in fact, we cannot do it ourselves. We only have to allow ourselves to receive the help that is flowing toward us right now. Despair was a common feeling while we were caught up in our codependency and addiction. We knew no other path than to rely on ourselves, and we were defeated. The recovery path gave us a new way to go. Now we need to avoid returning to the old ways or to hopelessness. This new path calls upon us to step out of the way, welcome the healing power, and accept the hope that our recovery will proceed. Today I will make the choice to be hopeful and accept the healing power of nature. ************************************************** ~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~ Love is a powerful thing, but does it always kick in to save the day when you feel things are hopeless? ~ Chris DeMetsenaere ~ When we first get into recovery, it is hard to understand love—how it feels, how to give it, and how to accept it. Most of us have used the pretense of loving someone as our excuse for trying to control that person. It can be painful to realize that genuine love means letting our friend or lover or child go, letting that person make decisions or mistakes independent of us. But each day we are given is time we can use to nurture this realization into acceptance. As our understanding grows, so does our aware-ness that nothing is ever hopeless. We begin to see that love not only comforts and frees us but also can soften the harsh edges of any brittle reality. Love is a choice we can make in any situation. But best of all, the more we focus on giving love away, the smoother our experiences will be. I will offer my love freely today without falling into the seductive trap of control. I will remember the paradox: to have genuine love for another person means to let go of that person. ************************************************** ~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~ I am learning about a higher power I was OK with having a leader in my group at the clinic, but I didn't know about this "higher power" they talked about in my new Twelve Step group. I like to think I can take care of myself. I don't much trust people to do things for me. Besides, I haven't believed in God in a long time. That was my initial reaction. But, as often happens, I'd quickly overreacted. After a while, I learned that a higher power (or by other names, HP, "higher helper," or "source of help") doesn't have to mean "God." HP can mean almost anything—the group itself, an individual member, or simply my program. All I have to do is to believe that the power I've chosen is stronger than I am and that it can help me get better. Today I'll take five minutes to think about who or what is helping me in my dual recovery. ************************************************* ~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~ Write the wrongs that are done to you in sand, but write the good things that happen to you on a piece of marble. ~ Arabic proverb ~ How often do we have a wonderful vacation, receive praise at school or work or home, or meet a very special person, only to forget those things when something goes wrong? When we are happy about something, like the food at a new restaurant, we will often tell a few people about it; but when we are not happy, we tell everyone around us. This is a way we hang on to the bad and let go of the good things that happen. It can be the other way around. Memories are like savings accounts. When we dwell only on negative attitudes, we build a negative balance that can sour our outlook on life. If we spill a glass of lemonade at a picnic, we can blow up over it or simply clean up the spill and go on enjoying the picnic. We don’t have to ignore the negatives and problems in our lives. We need to pay attention to them so we can learn and make appropriate changes. But when we nurture and treasure the positive memories, we build a strong foundation of gratitude and serenity for ourselves. Today help me to be aware of the good things that happen in my life. Help me to be aware of my happiness, however small it may seem, and share it with those around me. ************************************************** ~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~ I can only wait for the final amnesia, the one that can erase an entire life. ~ Luis Buhuel ~ It is rare that a person in recovery has wonderful child-hood memories. More often than not, your memories oi the past are so painful that you feel it is best to not think about them at all. But until you fully come to terms with these memories, they can influence your behaviors in the present and prevent you from engaging more fully with your life. One way to release the past from its influence in the present is to create a memory journal. In this journal, record each of your memories from the past. Take one memory at a time, striving to remember everything you can, even if it is difficult. Then write what this memory taught you. This is the lesson you have brought with you into the present. Ask, “Is this memory serving me well now?” If it is not, then write down ways in which you can reframe this lesson in a way that will have a positive influence. Rather than think, “I learned people will hut I me,” you can reframe this to “People in the past hurt me, but that does not mean everyone will.” I will reframe my memories so I can take positive action. ************************************************** ~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~ There are three things that only God knows: the beginning of things, the cause of things, and the end of things. ~ Welsh proverb ~ We learn when we enter the program that we didn't cause our disease, we can't control it, and we can't cure it. Those are the only answers we're given. It's up to us, in our hearts, to place trust and faith that a Power greater than ourselves will take care of the rest of the answers. Many times we may feel overwhelmed by the disease. We may want to scream at the unfairness of the changes we have to make and at the patience and detachment required of us. We find it's not enough to confront the root of our problems; now we need to look at more than just the problem. But we don't have to do all the work in one night. Tonight we can find relaxation amidst the effects of the disease. There's hope tonight, if well only open our hearts to believe that. Tonight I can trust I don't need to feel overwhelmed by my disease. My Higher Power won't ever give me any more than I can handle. ************************************************** ~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~ Being cured It’s easy for friends and associates to see us as people who are super-sober, super-clean. They think we have the problem licked, that we’re cured. This is shown by their uneasiness when we say, “I am an alcoholic; I am an addict.” They would prefer us to say, “I was.” We would like to believe them, but in our hearts we know that it’s not possible for us to drink or use any longer. By saying we are addicted, we remind ourselves of who we are and where we came from. Am I grateful for being clean and sober, even though I can never be cured? Higher Power, grant me the acceptance to understand that I am not cured. Relieve my temptation to believe those well-meaning people who are convinced that I am no longer an addict. Today I will enjoy being clean and sober by God help me to stay clean and sober today! ************************************************** ~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~ The birds' song gets on my nerves. I feel like trampling every worm. ~ PAUL KLEE ~ Newcomer I try to refrain from violence, even the violence of making certain kinds of comments to other people. But it's tough. My Higher Power seems to be putting a succession of people in my path who go out of their way to be rude or crude, to charge me extra, or to humiliate me in some way or other. How can I love everybody? Sponsor It's fascinating to me to watch how the outer world always seems to mirror my own mood. For me, it's the best way to explain the fact that there are times when everyone I meet in the course of my day seems pleasant, kind, and generous, and other times when i find enemies everywhere. Al-Anon's "Three C's" remind us that there are circumstances and behaviors that we didn't cause can't control, and can't cure. We're powerless over an active alcoholic's rage, for example. We can't make traffic go at the speed we think best or force others to conduct themselves as we'd like. But other things being equal, our state of mind has some power to affect people around us. Our facial expression, body language, tone, and words make our feelings apparent. Our moods are contagious. If we meet the world with anger, resentment, fear, or negativity, the world will usually respond in kind. A smile, a buoyant heart, and an optimistic outlook will usually evoke positive responses. And whatever is out there, we have a choice about where to direct our attention, whether to focus on what's sunny or dark in our environment. Today, I'm mindful of how my words and attitudes affect others. ************************************************** ~ THE EYE OPENER ~ The bootleggers in Prohibition days devised the very worst tasting concoction ever devised by man, added alcohol to it and sold it to us and we drank it. Remember the routine? First we would shudder from stem to stern; then hold our breath and throw it down; then we would cough and choke nearly to death and after wiping our chins we'd say "****, that's good." If you could sell yourself that kind of a story, selling yourself on the idea that you don't have to drink should be a cinch. ************************************************** ~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~ A Triumphant Heart Give us, O Lord, a tireless heart, So no false accusation may drag us down. Give us a triumphant heart, So no hardship can wear us out; Give us an honest heart, So no unworthy thought may tempt us. Grant upon us also, Our Creator, Understanding to know You, Persistence to seek You, Wisdom to find You, And faithfulness that we may embrace You. ~ Adapted from writings by St. Thomas Aquinas ~ ************************************************* ~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~ DON'T HURRY TFIE CHICKEN A city child was spending his vacation on a farm. They showed him a hen sitting on a nest of eggs, and told him that some day a little chicken would come out of each egg. The child was delighted at this dramatic idea, and every morning he went around expecting to see the miracle. Days passed, and nothing happened. The eggs still looked exactly the same. Not the slightest change occurred in the appearance of things, and gradually his faith waned. At last one day he told himself bitterly that he had been deceived. Next day, however, from habit he went around to the nest as usual, but without any hope; and behold, what was his joy to see a flock of little chickens running about. Of course wonderful changes had been taking place all the time, behind the shells, but there was nothing to show for it until the very last moment. Some of our greatest demonstrations come to us like this. In this story it was the spectator who lost faith, and so it did not matter. If the mother hen had lost her faith—well, there would have been no chickens, Give your demonstrations time to hatch. And let us not be weary in well-doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not (Galatians 6:9). ************************************************** ~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~ Connect with Source Anyone who is too busy to pray is too busy. ~ Anonymous ~ Imagine a deep-sea diver in a diving suit with a long lifeline connected to his boat at the surface of the ocean. As the diver walks the ocean floor exploring the marvels of the deep, his life-support tube delivers a steady flow of vital oxygen to him. If his air tube becomes clogged or cut off, the diver will be unable to function; he will probably panic, flail, try to return to the surface, or expire. We are like divers in earth suits, exploring the wonders of life on this planet. The earth is not our home; we are visitors here. Our true nature is not physical, but spiritual. We, too, have a life-support tube, and that is prayer, meditation, or any other form of communion with our Source. If our supply of spirit is cut off, we will not live well or long. Our connection to God is as important to our soul as the diver's supply of air to his body. Each day, take time to feed your soul. Make your first priority any activity that nourishes your inner being. Pray or meditate, practice tai chi or yoga, walk in nature, play music, dance, read uplifting words, or share meaningful talks with friends. Any activity that renews your spirit is a form of prayer. Commit to your spiritual practice first. Devote the beginning of your day to self-renewal. Your day will go better, and the time that you invest will pay for itself a thousand fold. Again, before you close your eyes to go to sleep, be with God. Feed your soul; it is your most important meal of the day. You are my first priority. Knowing You makes all the difference in my life and my world. Knowing You is knowing myself. Be with me today, that I may be with You always. Nourished by the spirit of love, my heart is whole. |
October 15
Step by Step Today, quiet the noise of my mind and stop the traffic of racing thoughts just for today. I will not mourn or lament losses that my drinking inflicted and instead will be grateful that the losses weren’t. I will not cling to regrets for amends that I can never make and instead believe that being sober is my strongest and sincerest apology. I will not shield myself behind that wall of self-imposed isolation and instead take a chance that I have something to offer to someone else and that they have something I can learn. I will not live in the problem of fighting not to drink and instead will live in the solution of living sober, and I will not expect more of myself and anyone else than can be reasonably expected. I will not judge anyone or anything lest their judgments condemn me, and I will not waste valuable time on taking anyone else’s moral inventory and focus on my own. Today, I will simply be and not resist the good that is yet to come. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M. ************************************************** ~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~ ATTITUDES The great scorer . . . marks not that you won or lost, but how you played the game. ~ Grantland Rice ~ When we are told that "some are sicker than others," we are reminded that we might also say, "some of us are more well than others." Both statements are correct. We remember that "we are not bad people trying to become good, but are sick individuals trying to get well, physically, mentally, and spiritually." All of us who remain abstinent, grow, and make positive changes in recovery are winners. But there is no competition with others in the Program. We all work together, as a team. Most of us do not consider those who relapse as losers. More aptly are they called "quitters." Each member "plays the game" by simple rules and to the best of an individual's ability. There is no scoring, no giving of grades, and no graduation in the school of recovery. How I work the Program is up to me, and determines the quality of my recovery. ************************************************** ~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~ The older I get, the more convinced I am that the space between communicating human being can be hallowed ground. ~ Fred Rogers ~ When two people sit down and talk, things change. Our true nature is basically revealed in our relationships with others. Starting from infancy, the protection we needed to survive came through our relationships with others. That’s how we were formed into human beings. We continue to need that connection in adult forms for our whole lives. To be human is to be in relationship. That’s where we learn to know ourselves. That’s where we grow and deepen and change. We truly become human by the impact of our communities, our families, our friendships, and our love relationships. If we carefully weigh what we let others know about us, we remain isolated. In that state, we only recycle our single internal conclusions over and over again. But when we let others in and allow them to communicate with some of our best and our worst parts, we step onto a dynamic hallowed ground with rich opportunities for growth. Today I will talk to someone about some of my personal thoughts and feeling. ************************************************** ~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~ Strangely, it was comforting to me when I read that squirrels forget where they hide about half their nuts. ~ Ruth Casey ~ We sometimes set unreasonably high standards for ourselves. Instead of being content with average, we think we must be perfect or we don’t count. The problem is that none of us can be perfect in every endeavor. To be human is to be fallible. And that’s okay, even though we don’t often believe it. God doesn’t expect perfection. How often have we been reminded of that since joining this program? What God does expect is that we do our best and do it lovingly. Whether we are at work, at home cooking dinner for the family, or at the bedside of an ailing friend or lover, we need only give the task our focused attention and willing heart. The joy we feel as the result of our efforts will convince us that we have been as close to perfect as we need to be. I will do the best I can today if I am determined to be attentive to the task at hand and loving in my attitude. ************************************************** ~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~ I need to limit the stress in my life It's not fun, but I'm slowly learning how I create problems for myself in recovery For instance, (a) I tend to make too many commitments; (b) I often try to do two things at once; and (c) I work too hard at my job. It seems I've managed to build a lot of stress into my life and left little time for myself and recovery. Despite my time in recovery I still need to make some changes or else face a setback or relapse. Making further changes in my lifestyle will be hard and I'll need help. But to stay on track in recovery—my most important job—I'll do what I need to do. I will do some reading on Step Eleven, review my priorities, and renew my daily recovery plan. ************************************************* ~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~ A man...should keep his friendships in constant repair. ~ Samuel Johnson ~ Learning to enjoy the company of loving friends gives life meaning. Coming to value ourselves enough to select friends who give as well as take is a blessed experience. Knowing that we deserve love, we are able to relax and let those special people in our lives do lovely things for us. There was a time when it didn’t feel good or comfortable to receive attention, praise, or presents. We thought we didn’t deserve it. We thought that to be loved we must give, not receive. The very thought of glowing in someone else’s attention and love was an uncomfortable idea, almost embarrassing. But today, real friendship asks that we learn to receive as well as give; otherwise our friend is robbed of the pleasure of loving. The same is true of our spiritual growth. It is as important to love God as it is to let Him love us. Today help me learn to receive as well as give. ************************************************** ~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~ The Man, the Boy, and the Donkey A man and his son headed to market with their donkey. A man on a horse passed them and asked, “Why aren’t you I riding your donkey?” The man placed his son on the donkey, and they continued on their way. They passed by a family working in I their fields. A young girl said, “Look at that lazy boy riding while his father is walking.” The man told his son to get off the donkey, and he climbed on. They passed a group of women and one said, “What a selfish man, making his son walk while he rides.” The man asked his son to climb up on the donkey with him. They passed a traveler on the road, who said, “That poor donkey is carrying too much weight.” Not knowing what to do, the man and his son began to I carry the donkey. But the donkey kicked so violently they released their hold and the donkey ran away. The moral of the story: In striving to please everyone, you end up pleasing no one. Striving to be a people-pleaser can make you feel as if what you are doing is never right, and you lose your ability to make your own decisions. I will choose to do what is right for me. ************************************************** ~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~ In the midst of winter, I finally learned there was in me an invincible summer. ~ Albert Camus ~ When things seem to be going badly and everyone appears to be against us, what do we see? Do we think things will never get better, or is there a ray of hope inside us that believes everything will soon be okay? In the midst of a long, cold winter, we might only see the gray skies, feel only the biting chill, hear only the crunch of our feet on the frozen earth. Wintertime can be compared to the bottom we first had to hit before we entered the program—a gray, dreary, hopeless, emotional freeze. Yet we've learned there is hope. Each day of recovery has warmed the emotional chill and brought new life back into our bodies. We can now trust that even in the darkest and coldest of times, there is a warm glowing ray of hope and faith all around us. I trust there is hope for even the most hopeless of situations. Tonight I have great faith in the healing of the program. ************************************************** ~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~ Being positive For us to grow and develop spiritually, we need to examine our thoughts and beliefs. Do we look for the good in people, places, and events? Do we shed a positive light on all we come into contact with? To under-stand and accept is not to limit or control. Acknowledging the truth generates positive energy, positive thoughts, and a positive lifestyle. Negative thinking produces negative ways. It undermines our morals so that we develop a “what’s the difference” attitude. But a positive faith in a Higher Power, as each of us understands it, gives strength to the body and courage to the soul. Do I have positive beliefs? Higher Power, may positive thoughts and beliefs be the guiding forces of my life. I will cultivate positive beliefs today by God help me to stay clean and sober today! ************************************************** ~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~ Nobody can give you wiser advice than yourself. ~ CICERO ~ Newcomer Sometimes, when I check something out with you or with another person whose experience I trust, the answer I get isn't all that different from what I've already thought of on my own. I wonder if by asking for an opinion, I've simply created another kind of dependency. Sponsor The willingness to ask for help is what got us here in the first place—that willingness is a gift. Once we reached out, the healing process inside us began. We were open to the nourishment that our spirits needed for repair and growth; we were humble enough to accept it. As we continue in recovery, small hints, rather than lengthy sermons, are sufficient to guide us. We've begun to trust our own gut feelings and to honor our intuitive wisdom. We may still appreciate the validation of those we respect. We may want help reasoning things out when we're confused or undecided about a course of action. There's nothing childish or dependent about that; staying open to learning from others is part of maturing and becoming more secure within ourselves. Today, I listen for inner guidance. I trust my own wisdom. ************************************************** ~ THE EYE OPENER ~ AA has no formal textbooks—we learn by absorbing the experiences and the wisdom of those who have successfully found an answer here. The rate of our progress in AA is to a large extent dependent upon the ability to listen and to digest what we hear. We may not be conscious of acquiring any degree of wisdom at the end of any one meeting, but when we look back over a period of a month or so, we see that the things that entered our ears have taken root in our hearts. ************************************************** ~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~ Today I Will Trust Today, I will stop straining to know What I don't know, To see what I can't see, To understand what I don't yet understand. I will trust that being is sufficient, And let go of my need to figure things out. ~ From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie, page 205 ~ ************************************************* ~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~ IS IT SELFISH? Is it selfish to pray for yourself? Some people think that it is, and say that you should pray only for others, but this, of course, is a foolish idea. You must pray for yourself constantly. How could it be otherwise? We worship God by believing in Him, trusting Him, and loving Him wholeheartedly—and we can attain to that only through prayer. The sole object of our being here is that we may grow like him—and we can do that only through prayer. The more we pray for ourselves the more power will our prayers have for any other purpose whatever; so praying for ourselves is the reverse of selfishness—it is truly glorifying God. Bow down thine ear, O Lord, hear me: for I am poor and needy. . . . Rejoice the soul of thy servant; for unto thee, O Lord, do I lift up my soul (Psalm 86:1, 4). ************************************************** ~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~ Not Funny Anymore If you believe, it means you’ve got imagination…you don’t face facts. If you believe, then you hang on—what can stop you? If I don't make it today, I'll come in tomorrow. ~ Ruth Gordon ~ In 1995, two underdog baseball teams made it to the American Leaque Championship Series. For the first time in 40 years, the Cleveland Indians registered a league-leading season, pitted against the long-suffering Seattle Mariners. During the series, the television announcers showed an old clip from the TV sitcom Family Ties, in which Michael J. Fox's character announced to a group of friends that he had two tickets to a baseball game. "Who's playing?" asked one of his buddies. "Cleveland and Seattle." Instantly, his friends rolled with boisterous laughter and told him, "We don't think so." The video clip represented a world of contrast against the respect these two teams had earned and the excitement the series generated. In 1995, tickets were no laughing matter; they were at a premium. What once seemed to be a joke can eventually emerge triumphant. Most great ideas and inventions were laughed at before they were appreciated. Just because someone laughs at your idea or rejects it does not mean it is a bad idea. lt may just mean that your audience has limited vision. Hold the faith in your vision. lf you believe it is good and you receive internal signals that you should continue, refuse to be put off by the opinions of the world. Do it not for others, but for yourself. Someday the tickets will be at a Premium. Guide me to the highest service and give me the faith to pursue my visions with diligence. I believe in what I am and what I do. I value truth over opinion. |
October 16
Step by Step “The less people tolerated (alcoholics), the more we withdrew from society, from life itself. As we became subjects of King Alcohol, shivering denizens of his mad realm, the chilling vapor that is loneliness settled down. It thickened, ever becoming blacker. Some of us sought out sordid places, hoping to find understanding companionship and approval. Momentarily we did – then would come oblivion and the awful awakening to face the hideous Four Horsemen – Terror, Bewilderment, Frustration, Despair.” – Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, Ch 11 (“A Vision for You”), p 151. Today, the “hideous Four Horsemen,” remembering that they once again will overwhelm me – if I allow them. I must not let either time or the distance from my last drink dim the desperation of the “chilling vapor that is loneliness” and the “sordid places” I sought for approval, acceptance or simple companionship. Nor must I forget the shattered quiet morning after when self-loathing, desperation and physical and emotional emptiness fueled the cycle to do it all over again and face another night of that “chilling vapor” of loneliness and another shattered quiet morning after. My life in sobriety is a day-by-day reprieve from that desperate drinking, and I must not take for granted today that sobriety is guaranteed to me tomorrow. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M. ************************************************** ~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~ ADMITTING WRONGS A man should never be ashamed to own he has been in the wrong, which is but saying, in other words, that he is wiser today than he was yesterday. ~ Alexander Pope ~ No one can grow spiritually until they have cleared their conscience and gained the respect and forgiveness of others by admitting their wrongs. Only by wiping the slate clean can we free ourselves of the constant painful reminders of acts and words which have left us with regrets, guilt, and shame. Of course, we can’t be free of thoughts about the past until we have learned, through thorough inventories, the nature of our mistakes. Our admission of wrongdoing may help others understand us better, but the person most benefited from the admission is us. The process of admitting wrongs assures us that we have accepted honesty as an asset we need in our new way of life. The sooner I admit my mistakes, the easier they are to correct. Let me promptly admit it when I am wrong. ************************************************** ~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~ The whole life of the individual is nothing but the process of giving birth to himself indeed, we should be fully born when we die. ~ Erich Fromm ~ We think of childhood as the period of development and growth. For some reason we regard adulthood as the time when we should settle down and live as fully formed individuals. This is not true. Psychologists now know that in a healthy person, adult development continues throughout life. When we look back five years, we can see ways that we have changed. Life continues to present us with new puzzles and new opportunities to become better men. We can also be stopped in our development if we refuse to open up to new growth. An addiction or a codependent way of relating to others can freeze our growth. When we open ourselves to the truth, we can resolve our puzzles and seize the opportunities to grow into wiser, stronger, more generous, honest, and open- hearted men. I will engage with the reality that today brings, and I will continue to grow. ************************************************** ~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~ I always have a choice: to learn from the lessons life offers me or to retreat into my lonely victim role. ~ Charlotte Kasl ~ What a difference it makes in our journey to believe that every experience is an opportunity to grow and to heal the pain of being human. None of us travel this road unscathed. Our interactions are devastating on occasion, but we can survive them. And sharing how we did so can give other women hope and strength and healing when they most need it. Luckily not every experience is hard or painful. Many moments every day are delightful. Sometimes the joy we feel and the laughter we share are simply the result of being grateful for our daily blessings. Our attitudes have far-reaching consequences in our lives. How we choose to interpret the actions of others determines how we feel. Our serenity doesn’t have to be dependent on others’ actions. I will be as joyful as I choose today. If I’m willing to accept assistance, my Higher Power will help me make the choice. ************************************************** ~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~ I get help from many helpers I used to be afraid of asking for help. Accepting it was almost harder. But slips and relapses, set-backs and breakthroughs have taught me that I have needed (and still need) help. And slowly I've become more willing to ask for it and to accept it. I feel stronger when I glance back and see that over time, help for my dual disorder has come from many different people: men and women; young and old; recovering people (a sponsor, a support person, a host of friends); and professionals (a psychiatrist, a therapist, a counselor, a social worker, a caseworker, a clergywoman). I am grateful to them all. I will do the best I can on my own and then respectfully call on my helpers as needed. ************************************************* ~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~ History books begin and end, but the events they describe do not. ~ R.G. Collingwood ~ Each day we turn a new page in our recovery, and we grow more settled in our new life. As we learn to live in the present, neither fearing the future nor feeling shame about the past, we discover new pleasures in simply living. We don’t have to hide our fear any more, we don’t have to suppress grief or shame or anger. We don’t have to keep our real selves secret behind a veil of chemicals. But we do need to remember. Our old behavior is still a part of us. We may still be paying the consequences for it, with legal or health problems. We may still feel remorse over our actions. And we need to remember that our addiction did not end simply because we stopped using our drug of choice. We could relapse at any time if we aren’t careful and don’t work our program. We could replace our old addictive behaviors at any time with equally unhealthy new ones that may be harder for us to see. This is why we keep going to meetings. This is why we need our sponsor, our other program friends, and our Higher Power. Recovery is active. When we are working at it, we are recovering. Today help me see what work I need to do for my recovery. ************************************************** ~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~ We are made, kind by being kind. ~ Eric Hoffer ~ There are two components of kindness: being kind to yourself and being kind to others. If you find it difficult to care for yourself, forgive yourself, or consider yourself worthy of love and understanding, then you may find it difficult to be kind to yourself. Most people in recovery are their own worst enemies. They may treat others well, but hold themselves up to intense criticism and scrutiny. By the same token, you may consider it far easier to be kind to others. One way to develop self-kindness is to think of your self as a child. How would you treat this child? What les-sons would you teach? How long would you hold your child hostage to a misbehavior or mistake? Would you use mistakes as opportunities for developing greater understanding, or inflict punishment? Another way to develop self-kindness is to think of someone you treat well. What are the types of things you do for this person? How do you treat this person when a mistake is made? Are you able to forgive transgressions because the good qualities are much more important to you? Being able to extend kindness to others is wonderful. But so too is being able to show kindness to the per-son you are. Today I will treat myself with kindness. ************************************************** ~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~ To make one pound of honey one bee would need to travel 50,000 miles, more than twice the distance around the globe. . . . A single teaspoon of honey in six weeks is a bee's entire life quota. ~ Margaret T. Applegarth ~ A grandmother watched her grandchild open birthday presents. All around the child were toys and records and books that had brought smiles to the child's eyes. But after the child opened the large box and saw what was in it, the smile faded. “What is it?" the child asked. "It’s a quilt made to show the story of your eleven years," the grandmother said. "Here's your very first step and here's the first time you lost a tooth. Here's your first time swimming and here's the birth of your baby brother. Each picture shows you growing and maturing. It has taken me eleven years to make this quilt for you, but you will have that quilt for the rest of your life." The child is now an adult, but goes to sleep every night under a quilt filled with memories of her early life and the loving patience of her grandmother. Tonight I need to remember the time to become special. ************************************************** ~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~ Releasing our selves A concept of right and wrong, good and evil, is reintroduced into our lives by the program. Some people ask in panic, “Do you really mean at this time in history, to reintroduce the devil—hooves, horns, and all?” Well, we really don’t know what this time in history has to do with it. The hooves and horns are important only because we wear them ourselves. So our answer is yes, the devil in us, the cause of our troubles, must be reintroduced and understood to be conquered. We are at the root of our own troubles; we are our own devils. And until we act to release ourselves of our selves, we will continue to slip and suffer. Have I conquered myself? Higher Power, with your grace may I recognize my own devil and turn it over to you so that with your help it may be conquered. Today I will restrain myself by God help me to stay clean and sober today! ************************************************** ~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~ Trust in God: She will provide. ~ EMMELINE PANKHURST ~ Newcomer I brought a friend to a meeting recently. I was nervous all through it, wondering if the speaker was saying things in a way that made sense to her; judging what other people shared, and wanting them to like my friend and reach out to her. I felt as if I were the host at a big party, worrying about whether everyone was having a good time or not. Sponsor The experience you've described has valuable information to offer. It says, among other things, how much you appreciate recovery and want to share your experience of it. It says, tog that you care about your friends. Most of us have been through similar experiences in recovery and can identify with your discomfort. It's hard to relax if we think we're running the show. We're not really hosts at a party, though, and we're not responsible for how it goes. We have to trust that people we bring to a meeting will hear and respond to whatever they're ready to take in, no more and no less. We can neither predict nor control what that will be, any more than we can predict or control what others at the meeting will share or hear. Other people's experience of recovery is not our responsibility; in fact, it's none of our business. When we surrender the outcome to a Higher Power, each meeting is exactly what it's supposed to be. Today, I let go of my worries about how a meeting is proceeding; I allow myself to focus on my own recovery. ************************************************** ~ THE EYE OPENER ~ By the very nature of our AA work, we often are exposed to the worst in the new man on our first contact with him. Too frequently, we pronounce judgement at once, and all our future work is prejudiced by that first impression. Think back a little—you weren't a lily yourself when you sought AA. ************************************************** ~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~ The Weight of the World O God of many names, bless You for lifting the weight of the world off my shoulders. It was never mine to carry in the first place. Surrendering my will to You has removed the loneliness and isolation that addiction placed within me. I need other people. I need their help. The key to unlocking the many gifts of recovery is asking for help. Your direction and love has taught me to ask for help and to help when I am asked. ************************************************* ~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~ A TREATMENT IS AN OPERATION The word treatment is usually applied to a prayer that is made for some specific purpose, as distinct from a general prayer, which is really a visit with God. You must remember that a treatment is a definite practical action, having a definite object and a definite beginning and end. It is in fact a surgical operation on the soul. Let us suppose that you decide to heal a certain difficulty by prayer. You know that your difficulty must be caused by some negative thought charged with fear and located in the subconscious mind. You therefore turn to God, and remind yourself of His goodness, His limitless power, and His care for you. As you work the fear will begin to dissolve, and the awareness of the Truth corrects the erroneous beliefs themselves. Thank God for the healing that you believe will come—and then you keep your thought off the matter until you feel led, after an interval, to treat again. He sent his word, and healed them . . . (Psalm 107:20). ************************************************** ~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~ Eggs Anyone can count the number of seeds in an apple, but only God can count the number of apples in a seed. ~ Anonymous ~ While watching a public television program on the process of human birth, I learned an astounding fact: When a female child is born, her body contains all the eggs she will ever produce as a woman. This fact bears tremendous symbolic import: When we arrive on earth, we contain all the potential for everything we will ever accomplish. No matter how long we are here or what we do, we cannot add to our potential. The question is not, “How much potential do you have?” It is, "How much potential will you live?” The word education is derived from the Latin educare, meaning “to draw forth from within." True learning is not accomplished by pounding something new into our psyche; it is allowing our innate wisdom to come forth. Much of what we call education is not a drawing forth, but rather an indoctrination or regimentation. Real education spotlights a child's uniqueness and stimulates her to discover and act on her natural talents. What would you be doing differently if you knew that the seeds of greatness were already with you? Everything you need to succeed has been given to you. "What you are is God's gift to you. What you make of yourself is your gift to God." You made me what lam. Help me to live it. I have all that I need to succeed. I put my gifts into action and draw success to me. |
October 17
Step by Step Today, no regrets, grief, sense of loss or the bitter from the sweet of what I must leave behind in my journey toward sobriety. Some people and places that were a significant, even enabling part of my life in my drinking days may no longer have a place in my new life in recovery, and I must be prepared that I may have to cut some losses in order to attain greater gains. If I am reluctant to move on without someone or something that was an influential part of my life as a drinking alcoholic, may I be able to remove myself from the emotional and use the logic to ask if maintaining old ties is worth the risk to my recovery. If so, I have no choice but to move on although I will never be alone. Today, if my sobriety requires it, I may have to make the tough choices between what once was seemingly precious to me and moving toward something even more precious. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M. ************************************************** ~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~ ACTION Faith is spelled A-C-T-I-O-N. ~ Anonymous ~ Again and again, we are told that our recovery program is, above all, one of action. We are constantly reminded that "nobody can do it for you." Yet the action in our Program is not a singular effort. It involves every member. In a boatload of people, one person paddling with a single oar will make little progress. Everyone must row if the whole boatload is to survive. Our Program truly is a fellowship. We all work together toward our common goal, recovery. Each of us contributes to the progress of all. During the times we were driven by our addictions and compulsions, we were often uneasy about our friendships. The new friendships we’ve found in recovery are some of the rewards of our present lifestyle. I am learning that unless I take action to further my recovery, faith and growth are impossible. But I need my friendships also. In recovery, I don't “think less of myself, I think of myself less." ************************************************** ~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~ I see God in every human being. ~ Mother Teresa of Calcutta ~ In our spiritual development, we learn to see expressions of the creator, the ultimate good, in many places in our daily life. We may imagine that God is a distant figure that we cannot know. But many great spiritual thinkers of various religions teach us to see God within every person. That includes ourselves. We are created by God and we have a right to be here. No matter what we have done, our being is still a creation of the ultimate and we ought to hold ourselves in high esteem. When we accept this spiritual truth, what follows is that we honor ourselves and our actions express self-respect. After we accept that God is within every fiber of our being, we can also greet all fellow human beings with honor for the God within them. This is not something that comes easily or by simple decision. It is a wisdom that grows when we come to terms with our defects and accept them as part of our whole being. We don’t have to be perfect in order to honor the God within us. Today I accept the ultimate truth of God within me and all people I see. ************************************************** ~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~ Our anxiety about clarifying what we think and how we feel may be greatest in our most important relationships. ~ Harriet Lerner ~ We want love and acceptance from everybody, especially our most intimate friends. Because we fear their judgment—or even worse, their rejection—we pale at the thought of letting them know who we really are, what we really think, how we really feel. Yet when we don’t let the important people in our lives know us fully, we never feel secure. We live in fear that they will leave us. Acknowledging that our happiness is this tentative can help us take the plunge into real honesty with others. What have we got to lose? We couldn’t have taken this risk of honesty before coming to this program of recovery. But here we have role models to look to, sponsors to talk to, and a Higher Power to pray to. We will be able to do what we couldn’t do before, and our relationships will reflect it. I can risk letting my friends see the real me today. My honesty, shared lovingly, won’t send them away. ************************************************** ~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~ I think I think too much These days, I have several problems that I cannot solve. (A dual disorder is like that, I hear.) I work on them, but they aren't easy to resolve. Some days I just keep hashing them over and over. I can't let go. Soon I feel drained, anxious, and frustrated. In talking with my sponsor about this painful spinning, I realized two things. First, it's in my nature to think and analyze. But being obsessed keeps me stuck and gets me nowhere. Second, as much as I want to be in control, I am not—my higher power is. The good news, however, is that I am developing a degree of faith. I have a sense that things will work out over time, whether I worry over them, feel bad about them, or not. Today I will review Step Three and clear my mind by writing out a list of my problems. ************************************************* ~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~ When they discover the center of the universe a lot of people will be disappointed to discover they are not it. ~ Bernard Bailey ~ Things happen every day that can make us angry. If we let all the anger pile up, we’ll be carrying around a load so heavy our sobriety might collapse under the strain. But it’s surprisingly simple to lighten that load. One way is to express our anger openly and honestly when it’s appropriate. Another is to remember we aren’t the center of the universe. When we humbly accept that we share the world with everyone else equally, we can choose to respond with understanding instead of anger. When another car cuts us off in traffic, it helps to remember that roads are there for everyone, not just us. It helps to remember that the actions of others are not necessarily aimed at us personally, however thoughtless and hurtful those actions might be. Others don’t sit around and plot ways to make us angry. Now, by humbly accepting our rightful place in the world — no better or worse than anyone else’s — we can work to simplify our life, reduce our anger, and make room for a growing serenity and continued spiritual growth. Today let me reduce my anger and grow in serenity. ************************************************** ~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~ Jealousy is all the fun you think they had.... ~ Erica Jong ~ There is a difference between admiring another or wanting to emulate someone you consider to be a role model and being jealous of other people. When you are jealous, you are not just focused on what others have, but on what others have that you do not. Jealousy can arise from a sense of entitlement. You may feel that you are deserving of something you are not getting or that others have. Jealousy can also be an outcome of comparing yourself to others. You may consider that you have worked just as hard as others have. So you may think, “Why can’t I have what they have?” Insecurity can also lead to jealous feelings. You may think that what others have is something you will never achieve because you are not good enough. Just as jealous feelings can arise and strengthen, so too can they arise and be minimized. Rather than berate yourself for what you feel you do not have, look closely at your life and the positive things in it. Breaking free from jealousy begins with how you think and then extends into taking action. Rather than focus on what others have or are doing, I will focus on what I have and what I need to do. ************************************************** ~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~ We come into the world crying while all around us are smiling. May we so live that we go out of this world smiling while everybody around us is weeping. ~ Persian proverb ~ Do we matter to others? Have our lives touched the lives of others? Do we think of ourselves as important and worthwhile? There are many lives we touch in a day, a week, months, or years. Each of these lives was meant to touch ours. We are meant to exist. We are children of our Higher Power and are watched constantly with love and concern. We do matter to those around us. Birth, as well as death, heralds the entrance and the exit of a life filled with meaning and purpose. We were meant to be here now, not only for ourselves but for the many lives around us. Our lives are important and worthwhile to all the people we know. Help me see tonight that my life matters. Just as others have touched me, so have I touched the lives of others. ************************************************** ~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~ Having a Higher Power Our program is spiritual. To work the program, we need to recognize a Higher Power. New knowledge becomes available through new instruments. We did not have much knowledge of the stars until the telescope or much knowledge of germs until the micro-scope. You can think of the Twelve Steps as an instrument—a means to realizing and remembering you have a Higher Power. When we want to explore what lies be-yond the five senses, we have to use an instrument that reaches beyond these senses. When we sincerely ask our Higher Power, it will show us an answer. Maybe not with writing on the wall, but we will be guided. After all, how did we get to this program? Am I in touch with my Higher Power? Higher Power, help me use the Twelve Steps as an instrument to gain knowledge of your presence in my life. Today I will improve my conscious contact with my Higher Power by God help me to stay clean and sober today! ************************************************** ~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~ Regret is an appalling waste of energy, you can't build on it: it's only good for wallowing in. ~ KATHERINE MANSFIELD ~ Newcomer Someone I hoped would be an important part of my life for years to come has left. I'm devastated. I don't know how much of what happened is my fault; I keep thinking, "lf only I hadn't said what I said . . ." Sponsor Human lives are filled with all kinds of separation. Friends, mates, family members—the people in our lives are only lent to us. If they accompany us for some part of our journey, we're blessed. We don't get to control or keep them. Sentences beginning "if only" can go nowhere but straight to regret. They support our false belief that we can control what happens in other people's lives. "I should have," "I could have," and "I would have" are all variations on the same theme. They postpone acceptance and necessary grieving. At times it's we ourselves who do the leaving. We can count it a success, not a failure, when we've had the courage to acknowledge the truth of an ending. Today, though I may go through some pain as I learn acceptance, I rejoice in the strength and clarity it gives me. ************************************************** ~ THE EYE OPENER ~ In your AA talks you may have the eloquence of a Patrick Henry, but if your AA work stops there, you are only fooling the new man temporarily. He will soon get wise to the fact that you are but a phonograph, nice to listen to but of no use to anyone beyond this one function. Beautiful sentiments need lovely actions or they have but little value. Lovely actions speak for themselves. ************************************************** ~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~ Wisdom Father of Light, You have promised To give wisdom generously To all who ask in faith. Please give me wisdom; Make me wise to know Your way for me, Wise to make good decisions, Wise to be useful to others, And wise to understand Your word. May Your Spirit give me wisdom That I may know Your will, That I may honor You And find pleasure in obeying You. ~ Author unknown ~ ************************************************* ~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~ WHAT IS "SEEKING THE KINGDOM"? Seek the kingdom of God, and his righteousness ; and all these things shall be added unto you (Matthew 6:33). The principle that Jesus expressed in these words is the basic law that underlies all answer to prayer. Many people know this in theory but are confused about putting it into practice. They think, “I will ignore this problem and think about God instead.” Here there is a subtle mistake; because they are really thinking of their problem as existing in one place, of God as existing in another, and of themselves as going in thought from the first place to the second place. This, of course, is by implication to reaffirm the existence of the problem in its own place, and such a belief will not heal. What we have to do is to seek the Kingdom in the very place where the trouble seems to be. We have to know that in Truth and reality it is nor there, because God is there. When we succeed in doing this, the difficulty disappears. ************************************************** ~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~ Sensitive Souls Great geniuses have the shortest biographies. Their cousins can tell you nothing about them. ~ James Thurber ~ In a college psychology class, I was required to read a book subtitled The Mental Institution as a Last Resort. The book's thesis was that many people in mental institutions are not crazy, but just more sensitive than most people in the society. The authors suggested that many mental patents are simply too finely strung to fit into the mainstream, and an institution is a safe place-similar to an ashram or monastery where they can be who they are without having to adapt to a society that is in many ways more insane than they are. Hilda Charlton noted that souls who are particularly fine-tuned emotionally, artistically, or spiritually are often unable to cope with the heaviness of the world, and so they turn to various addictions to escape. Alcoholics, drug addicts, and many mental patients are highly evolved souls who cannot find comfort, acceptance, or a forum for expression in their worldly circles, so they sedate their sense of homelessness with chemicals or insanity. Indeed, many great artists, musicians, thinkers, inventors, and visionaries have sought to take refuge in addiction or illusion. A Course in Miracles confirms that we do need to escape from the world we see, for it is not a place of truth or Godliness. But, the Course asserts, we will not find refuge if we follow the promptings of fear; if you must escape, then escape into truth. In the Hindu culture, holy men and women are revered and cared for by the society. Saints and mystics are not tested, prodded, poked, cross examined, rationalized, written off, and shunned as they are in the West. In that culture, genuine visionaries are supported to do their spiritual work while people care for their worldly needs and responsibilities. Let us honor our sensitivity and create a supportive space for talented souls to express our true self. I pray to create a world in which the gifts of God are respected and empowered. I express my artistic nature with courage and confidence. |
October 18
Step by Step Today, no waste of valuable time that should be spent on progressing in sobriety to fight an urge for “just one” drink. I already know the deception of “just one.” AA has armed us with the steps to dodge the bullet of temptation, and personal experience shows time and again the consequences if I give in. In the end, the temptation to drink “just one” is a simple choice, and that choice like any other has consequences – and I alone will be responsible to those consequences. They have taken too much from me already. Thus, the choice is simple: DON’T DRINK. Today, I don’t have time to deal with temptation or wondering if I can get away with “just one.” I can’t. More significantly, I don’t want to drink. Case closed. Today, I’ll focus my emotional energy on something more productive, like sobriety. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M. ************************************************** ~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~ GRANDIOSITY There are none too dumb for the Program, but many are too smart. ~ Anonymous ~ Most of us suffered from some degree of grandiosity. We had inflated egos, were self-centered, stubborn, impatient, head-strong, selfish, and pushy. We liked to think in terms of the "big picture." We liked big deals and big plans. We carried around a feeling that we knew everything, that we were God-like. If we don't reduce our grandiosity in recovery, we are looking for trouble. When we act like big shots, we only submit to the Program, we don't surrender. We favor negative thinking, hold back from inventories and making amends, make little effort at finding a Higher Power, avoid prayer, neglect finding a sponsor, don't read, and are bored at most meetings. Today, I'll remember that when I am a big shot and have grandiose thoughts, I don't listen, share, or get involved. ************************************************** ~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~ Man’s powers point to God, but they cannot understand Him. ~ Reinhold Niebuhr ~ Our best strengths and greatest powers are signs of God. We have been in trouble because we over-estimated our power to control more than we could. Now, on this spiritual path, we have turned to God, “as we understood” God. This phrase may make us think we have to define what this Higher Power is in our lives. It can be helpful to think about, but we also do well to accept the limits of our words and our definitions. Some guys say that they encounter God on a walk through the forest. Some have that experience in a church or temple. Some find God in every living creature. Most great spiritual traditions speak of God as being present everywhere and promise that we are never alone. The powerlessness we learn on this spiritual path includes the human impossibility to contain God in our understanding. To encounter God, we encounter a sense of awe that God exceeds all limits. Today I am moved and filled with awe by the spirit of God. ************************************************** ~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~ The world has more depth in autumn. So, it seems, does my soul. ~ Jane Nakken ~ The earth prepares to rest when autumn comes. Trees shed their leaves, flowers drop their blooms, grass grows more slowly. This can be likened to our own periods of quiet contemplation when we outgrow old ideas and prepare for new direction in our life. It’s good that we have resting periods. We can’t know where or how far we want to go if we haven’t taken time to measure how far we have come. The fall of the year is a good time to do another Fourth Step inventory. What’s the point of repeated inventories? Sponsors tell us that growth is never ending and that we can direct it best if we clearly know where we are right now. The only certain way of knowing that is through careful assessment of who we are today. Let’s stop and rest and contemplate our journey. Then let’s plan for the next leg. My quiet times will inspire my journey today. I will be prepared for a new direction if that feels right. ************************************************** ~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~ I am slowly accepting my illnesses Twelve months after my DUI and drug counseling, I still didn't believe I had a drug problem. It took a second DUI to convince me. Likewise, after several months of psychotherapy, I would not take my depression seriously. What finally changed my mind was crying uncontrollably and feeling suicidal. Now that I have finally accepted both my addiction and emotional illness, I have an idea about what took me so long. And yet, maybe I took just as much time as I needed—just long enough to feel bad enough to be willing to change. I trust that I won’t have to wait so long in the future. Today I will practice acceptance by allowing myself time to change. ************************************************* ~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~ He that is humble, ever shall have God to be his guide. ~ John Bunyan ~ We all know someone who is truly humble — someone whose inner calm we can feel, someone whose material, emotional, or spiritual generosity we may not trust at first. If the humility is authentic, it’s likely that person has moved through suffering in a way most of us have not. It isn’t that this person may have suffered more than we have but that he or she has moved through the pain — felt it, expressed it, and let go of it—rather than going around it, medicating it, denying it, or minimizing it. We may wish to become people like this, yet we fear it. By their very being, humble people challenge us to be present in our lives, much as animals are. A cat is always fully itself, but we may be only 30 or 80 percent ourselves at any given time. We cannot take lessons in humility. It is a quality that emerges in its own time during the course of our recovery. But as we become more authentic and more connected with ourselves, with others, and with God, humility follows. Today help me be present with myself and so learn what it means to be humble. ************************************************** ~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~ Just as despair can come to one only from other human beings, hope, too, can be given to one only by other human beings. ~ Elie Wiesel ~ Hope is an essential part of healing and recovery. Without hope, you would not be able to envision a better future. Without hope, you would not be able to feel a connection and unity within the fellowship of recovery. And without hope, you would have no assurance that you can escape from the imprisonment of your addiction. Hope thrives within a community of like-minded individuals. Hope is conveyed through the stories addicts tell. These stories all share a common theme: things got bad and things grew worse, leading to hopelessness and despair; but then things got better through the program, These are stories of hope and redemption that convey the power of belief in a better future. Hope can be developed by giving to others. You convey hope by showing them they are not alone and that their suffering and pain can be alleviated. Hope is also developed through choosing to be around positive people. Their ability to view life from an uplifting perspective can help you see that your problems are not insurmountable. Today I will breathe in hope from those around me and exhale any feelings of despair. ************************************************** ~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~ There is more to life than increasing its speed. ~ Mahatma Gandhi ~ We live in an age of instant coffee, one-minute managers, and same-day mail delivery. The speed of living seems to increase every year with improved methods of communication, travel, and manufacturing. Because of this we may feel our daily work in the program and the subtle changes in our behavior are not fast enough. How can we keep pace with the world if we're spending years on recovery? It is the quality of a thing that is important. Instant coffee is a great convenience, but brewed coffee tastes better. Driving in the fast lane all the way to a destination will get us there faster, but we won't enjoy much of the scenery we pass through. Life isn't a race won by the fastest. If we set a goal and don't attain it within the time frame we set, we do not fail, we readjust our schedule. Living to the fullest doesn't mean living in the fast lane. It means taking the scenic route, stopping often to appreciate the view, and sharing the ride. I can slow down my pace and appreciate the road I travel by taking my time and meeting fellow travelers. ************************************************** ~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~ Being moved by ideals Our new life is deeply moved by powerful ideals. Many of our pursuits fall apart and then we must regroup, perhaps many times, before our goals become sound again. But we must remember to keep our ideals in mind. We learn from our setbacks and know that they indicate we are reaching for and moving toward a perfect program and ideal spirituality. There is no one among us who is perfectly clean and sober. Working a good program requires no accolades, only high ideals. The speakers at our meetings are not saints or prophets but nameless people. They tell their stories and deliver their messages informally, yet better than if the event had been staged. Together our unknown names and our new lives emerge from the ruins, and we form a body of our Higher Power’s beautiful children. Do my actions reflect the highest ideals? Higher Power, when my ideals try my faith, let me know that nothing is too good to be true. The ideal I will strive toward today is God help me to stay clean and sober today! ************************************************** ~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~ It is a spiritual axiom that every time we are disturbed, no matter what the cause, there is something wrong with us. ~ TWELVE STEPS AND TWELYE TRADITIONS ~ Newcomer In reading about the Tenth Step, I get confused when I see the words "we were wrong." That word "wrong" again! I'm working to honor my feelings and build my self-esteem. I've learned in this program that I'm not to blame for everything. Sponsor The spot-check inventory isn't intended as a stick to beat ourselves with, any more than Step Four was It's a practical way to help us evaluate what's going on in the course of our day, to recognize what we ourselves can do to re-establish emotional balance. It reminds us that we have some control over our responses. For example, suppose the check I've been waiting for doesn't come in today's mail. I may have some anger to discharge or a momentary fear that I won't be able to send out my rent check on time. I may need to take a few minutes to vent my feelings. The feelings pass, and I go on to other things. In the old days of active addiction, I blamed everyone I could think of from the postal service to the landlord, for the way I was feeling. I usually felt justified in picking up my drug of choice—that was one way that my rage at being frustrated could be quieted. Step Ten reminds us not to get caught in the cycle of blaming others for the way we feel. Today, I abstain from blaming. If I'm upset, I practice the "three A’s": awareness, acceptance, and action. ************************************************** ~ THE EYE OPENER ~ The life of the alcoholic is very similar to a jigsaw puzzle. In our days of drinking, the whole of life appeared as simply as a jumbled mass of unrelated pieces, impossible to unscramble. In AA someone gave us the corner piece and from this we slowly and laboriously found one piece after another. Each piece that we fitted in made it easier to find the next piece. First we found understanding, then hope, then determination, then sobriety, then unselfishness, then love, then faith and finally God. All the pieces are in place finally, the picture makes sense and it is beautiful to behold. ************************************************** ~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~ Higher Power, I will tell You the truth until I can tell others, I will trust in You until I can trust in others, I will pray for Your will and not my own, I will not turn away from the addict who still suffers, I will pray for mercy and not praise, I will pray for humility and not righteousness, I will continue to turn my life over to You so I may be restored to greater sanity. ************************************************* ~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~ MENTAL DRUDGERY IS NOT PRAYER Expect more from your prayers. The power of your prayer depends upon the amount of faith that you yourself have in it. To pray in the spirit that "even if this prayer does not do any good at least it cannot do any harm," is not, really, to pray at all. Have enough faith in the love of God to believe that a short heartfelt prayer is just as good as a long one, Too long a session of prayer usually means that in your heart you really doubt the love of God, and think that a great deal of effort and toil will be necessary to move Him. Pray quietly and sincerely for a reasonable time—and then leave the matter, expecting success. O Lord , thou art my God; I will exalt thee , I will praise thy name; for thou hast done wonderful things; thy counsels of old are faithfulness and truth (Isaiah 25:1). ************************************************** ~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~ As Much As the Valet Every decision you make indicates what you believe you are worth. ~ A Course in Miracles ~ We pulled up to the Beverly Hills Hotel behind a line of luxury cars. My partner Charley handed the valet a $5 tip, and we went in for breakfast. The menu, like many haut cuisine restaurants, had no prices printed. Charley placed his order and then asked the waiter, "How much would a side order of bacon cost?" "Five dollars," answered the man. Charley thought for a moment, and then answered, "I guess I'll pass." After the waiter left, I could see that Charley really wanted the bacon. "Go ahead, get the bacon!" I encouraged him. "You're right," he answered, and called the waiter to make the order. Then a stunned look washed over Charley's face as he told me, "I just realized something very profound: I thought nothing of giving the valet a $5 tip—that's just what is done here. But when it came to feeding myself some food I enjoy, I had a hard time doing it. I wasn't even loving myself as much as the car attendant. " The next time you're faced with a choice about taking care of yourself, ask yourself, "Would I give this gift to another person if I could?" Most likely, you would feel very blessed and joyful to nurture someone in a way they would love. Then go ahead and bestow yourself with the same blessing. God rejoices just as much when you give to yourself as when you give to another. It's not selfish to love or pamper yourself—it's a holy opportunity to celebrate what you truly deserve. Open your heart to yourself as much as you would to others, and you will find the meaning of true love. Show me how to love myself as You love me. I give myself all the good I can imagine. |
October 19
Step by Step Today, if alcohol is “cunning and baffling,” its end product – alcoholism – is mysterious because it took alcoholism guided me to a program to begin my physical, spiritual and emotional recovery. And without going through the deepest of gutters, the darkest of nights and the sickest of physical and emotional conditions, I may never have emerged from that life of being half-dead and half-alive to being, now, fully alive. In a bizarre osmosis, if I cannot be grateful, I must at least not deny, reject or forget those days of my drinking because they brought me to a place where the healing begins. Today, I respect and am almost grateful for the experience of alcoholism because it has brought me to where I am – here. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M. ************************************************** ~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~ FAULT-FINDING I'm slipping when I begin taking another person's inventory, not mine. ~ Anonymous ~ It seems so much easier to live someone else's life than it is to live our own. We can see someone else's faults much more clearly than our own. We can tell someone else how to correct a character defect, and not work on our own. It is easier to take someone else's inventory than it is to take our own. These are all clues to why we have had so much trouble in our lives. These things are all danger signs. Our very best thinking got us into this Fellowship. Most of us earned our seats around the table by totally mismanaging the affairs of our lives. We have enough on our plates trying to sort out the will of our Higher Power in our own lives. We have no business trying to run anyone else's. If I persist in trying to live another person's life, I am likely to stop my spiritual progress. Let me remember to keep tabs on my own faults and let others take care of their own. ************************************************** ~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~ Do, or do not. There is no "try.” ~ Yoda, in The Empire Strikes Back ~ Trying is what we do when we aren’t willing to make a commitment. We say, “I’ll try,” when our heart isn’t ready to give a full effort. It’s what we say when we can’t admit that our resolve is wimpy. And it’s the He that will defeat us. Some challenges we face can’t be conquered simply by saying, “I will do it.” But we can choose to do something that will help. We can’t move the mountain but we can pick up some rocks. We can engage with the problem and get to know it better. Every action we take leads somewhere and sets us up for the next action. We even learn from our mistakes and that moves us closer to achieving our goal. Today I will not just “try”, I will do something to move toward my goal. ************************************************** ~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~ Creativity and self-expression are the keys which open the door to my soul. ~ Betty MacDonald ~ Why do we find it so hard to believe that we are creative and talented? Generally we look upon “artists” as being far different from us. When we were young, we were encouraged to be ordinary, “like everyone else.” Those who dared to see the world differently were weird. Thus our creative juices lay untapped. But every spirit, by its very nature, is creative and talent-filled. Fortunately, the well of our creative spirits hasn’t run dry. We can prime the pump and bring them bubbling to the surface. The first step is to acknowledge our creative potential. The real gift of this journey is that hope has been inspired in us. We hear the stories of how others have changed and tapped into their creativity. We understand it can happen to us too. Being willing to have my talents revealed is necessary for it to happen. I will work on willingness today. ************************************************** ~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~ I am changing by letting go By going into treatment, I temporarily let go of my freedom and my home. I let go of time and money. In treatment I gave up old habits, old ways of thinking. I admitted my dual disorder and started to change my life. And in return for my willingness and effort, I have gained true freedom—freedom from addiction and from the symptoms and other effects of my psychiatric illness. In return, I have invested in an abstinent and stable future. I am learning new ways to cope, healthy ways to take care of myself. By admitting my dual disorder, I am changing my life. To help me learn from my thinking and my process of growth, I will keep a recovery journal. ************************************************* ~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~ Don’t just do something, stand there! ~ Lewis Carroll ~ We used to spend all our time running around with no time, it seemed, for the important things. Our addiction kept us in this state of turmoil and we didn’t have time for the most important thing of all — our own lives. In reality, this frenzy of activity was an energy-consuming tactic that let us avoid awareness of our addiction. Unlike healthy physical activity, it drained us of strength, but gave back nothing in return. Now we have time to devote to ourselves. This means spending quiet time rewarding ourselves for tasks well done. It also means we have time for physical activity which strengthens and invigorates us — play time. We might not feel we’re ready to take on a regular program of jogging or swimming, but we can take time out each day for a brisk walk. The new energy we gain combines with an increase in self-esteem to make us even more ready to take on new challenges. Our new feeling of well-being prepares us emotionally, as well as physically, for each new day. And our sense of accomplishment at making this healthy change lays the stepping stones for more growth. Today let me pay attention to my need for physical activity and do at least one thing to satisfy that need. ************************************************** ~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~ There is no doubt that running away on a fresh, blue morning can be exhilarating. ~ Jean Rhys ~ Think of how a cat or dog awakens from sleep. It will rise up, perhaps give its body a good shake, and then lower its front and engage in a full stretch to its body. Sometimes you may even hear it emit a little grunt of pleasure. While not everyone can leap out of bed at the first sound of the alarm, there are ways you can transform your first moments of awakening so that they benefit you for the rest of the day. Begin with a full-body stretch. Do more than just reach for the ceiling or bend over and touch your toes. Wiggle and shake every part of your body to loosen up your muscles. As you do this, take in deep breaths and slowly release them. Bring in oxygen to your brain and muscles to restore your energy. And then offer a simple prayer. Thank your Higher Power for the gift of a new day. Convey your openness to whatever the day holds in store for you. Ask that you be given the strength to meet all of its challenges. By this time you will be more awake and alert, ready to take on the day! I will begin my day with a morning routine that will energize me. ************************************************** ~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~ Lo! in the middle of the wood, The folded leaf is wooed from out the bud. . . . With winds upon the branch, and there Grows green and broad, and takes no care. ~ Alfred, Lord Tennyson ~ What does it take for us to be drawn out of ourselves? So many of us have retreated inwardly and are afraid to open up in social situations. We may refuse invitations to gatherings, may be afraid to meet new people, and may want to remain in uncomfortable but stable situations. When a plant grows a new leaf, we see evidence of a shoot. Then we see the leaf grow longer, curled tight like a cigar. Finally, with nourishment and safety, it begins to unfurl. This leaf supports new life, and the healthy plant grows. We, too, are like that new leaf. As we grow, we learn there are environments where we can open up and be safe. It's okay to close up when there are people or situations around us that are unhealthy. But we need not fear everybody or everything. We can be safe. We can proudly unfurl ourselves for all to see. Am I withdrawn because of fear? Tonight I can find a safe person, place, or thing and open myself up in safety. ************************************************** ~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~ Becoming reasonable Being ungrateful and feeling sorry for our-selves is a great self-destroyer. Often we feel that we know all the reasons to be grateful and to not feel sorry for ourselves, but we don’t know how to be reasonable about our feelings. Being reasonable is not a strong virtue of addicts. Quite often we find we have to pray for reasonableness, then simply cling to the program and the fellowship when feelings of ungratefulness overtake us. Am I a more reasonable person than I was before? Higher Power, even though I know all the reasons, I am not always reasonable. Help me to become more reasonable. Today I will try to be reasonable about God help me to stay clean and sober today! ************************************************** ~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~ We use great plainness of speech. ~ SAINT PAUL TO THE CORINTHIANS ~ Newcomer I made a call to someone I'd previously said yes to when I'd really wanted to say no. Without making a big deal out of it, over apologizing and making up elaborate excuses, I just told the truth. I said, "I'm sorry to have to change plans, but after giving it some more thought, I realized that I need time to finish a project I've been putting off. Let's get together another time." My friend was disappointed, but not devastated. She wished me luck with the project. I felt such relief after this phone call. Instead of being preoccupied by nagging feelings of obligation and wrong-doing, I have energy to do what I need to do and to enjoy myself with a clear conscience. Sponsor This is good Tenth Step work you've been doing. It sounds to me as if you've begun developing greater self-trust and an intuitive sense of how to handle situations with people. Today, I don't let difficulties build up. I act promptly to keep my relationships with others clear and in balance. ************************************************** ~ THE EYE OPENER ~ Bad luck is not often just a series of unhappy events that just happened. Our bad luck is usually the result of our ignorance, carelessness or indifference. Our experience with bad luck should make us more careful and then good luck can be expected to follow in consequence. It was your bad luck that brought you to AA; it was your good luck that you profited by it. ************************************************** ~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~ Farther Along Tempted and tried, we're often made to wonder Why it should be like this all day long, While there are other addicts using among us, Never paying consequences though in the wrong Farther along we'll know all about it; Farther along we'll understand why. Cheer up my fellow travelers; Live in the sunshine. We'll understand it all, by and by. Sometimes I wonder why I must struggle, Go in the rain, the cold, and the snow When there are many living in comfort Giving no heed to all I can do. Faithful till death, said our loving Master; Short is our time to labor and wait; Then will our toiling seem to be nothing When we shall pass the heavenly gate. Farther along we'll know all about it; Farther along we'll understand why. Cheer up my brother; Live in the sunshine. We'll understand it all, by and by. ~ Adapted from a traditional American hymn, author unknown ~ ************************************************* ~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~ PRAYER IS ALWAYS THE ANSWER Prayer is always the solution. No matter what kind of difficulty may be facing you, no matter how complicated your problem may seem—prayer can solve it. Of course you will also take whatever practical steps seem to be indicated, and if you do not know what steps to take, prayer will show you. Prayer is constantly bringing about the seemingly impossible, and there is no conceivable problem that has not at some time been solved by prayer. When we remember that God really is omnipotent, untrammelled by what we call time or space or matter, or the vagaries of human nature, it is easy to see that there can be no limit to the power of prayer. You can pray about a problem and solve it at any stage, but of course the earlier you tackle it the easier will your work be. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much (James 5:16). ************************************************** ~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~ All in the Timing To know how to wait is the great secret of success. ~ De Maistre ~ Do you ever have days or weeks when nothing seems to come together? The people you are looking for are out of town, the product you ordered is delayed, and you get everyone's answering machine. Finally, you throw your hands up and declare, "I give up—I'm going to a movie!" That may indeed be the best strategy, for the universe is giving you a message that this is not the right time to try to make anything happen. It may be the perfect time for you to step back and nurture your spirit. If you pay attention to the cycles of your experience, you can make them work for you, rather than letting them overwhelm you. Periods of nothing coming together are often followed by periods of everything coming together. After a week or month of frustrating attempts to make things happen, suddenly everything clicks; everyone calls back the same day, business deals that were on hold fall into place, and everything that was broken gets fixed. It's as if the universe was laying back to build up momentum for a huge leap forward. Don't be discouraged. If you've done all you can to make something happen, and nothing seems to be coming of it, get the hint. Let go. Turn it over to God. Do something else more rewarding or fun. It's all in the timing. Help me attune to Your divine rhythm. Let me find Your will in time. I dance with life, stretching and resting in rhythm with the universe. |
October 20
Step by Step Today, step outside myself if I have retreated inward because of some problem or emotion that I haven’t confronted. And, instead, I will extend my hand to someone in need. Service to others is a fundamental and integral component of recovery and, by seeking out and offering someone who needs my help, I may understand that my own burden is not as heavy as another person’s. To permit some problem to hold me hostage within myself is empowering that problem and forcing me to ignore the needs of both myself and someone else. On a less altruistic level, the weight of another person’s burdens may humble me enough to realize that my own burdens may not be as heavy as I think. Today, I step outside myself and offer my help to someone who needs and wants it. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M. ************************************************** ~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~ POSITIVE OUTLOOK Flying is largely a matter of having the right outlook. ~ E.B. White ~ We may not make it if we don't have the outlook that success is within our reach if we practice the principles of our Program. Nobody believed that it would ever be possible for man to fly. Then the Wright brothers proved that it could be done. What was said to be impossible was there to be achieved. Naturalists have proved for centuries that the bumblebee technically can't fly. But the bumblebee doesn't know that, so it continues to amaze them by flying. A positive outlook is necessary if we are to make our Program "fly." When we lose that positive outlook, we lose hope and crash. Optimism means letting go of worry about the future. The future is in the hands of our Higher Power, and there's no better place for it to be. With a positive outlook, I can accomplish success in my recovery Program. Without it, I'm going nowhere. ************************************************** ~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~ Everything becomes a little different as soon as it is spoken out loud. ~ Hermann Hesse ~ Many of us find out what we really think when we start talking. Putting ideas into words is sometimes hard to do, but when we hear ourselves speak, we realize what we have had on our minds. It’s an important way to go deeper into knowing ourselves. Other times we may have thoughts on our minds, but we first connect with the feelings when we say them to another person. We are social animals and talking is a crucial part of our humanity. How often do we hear from our partners that we don’t talk to them? Maybe they tell us that we “never” talk about our feelings. They love us and crave the connection that talking brings. As we become more at peace with ourselves, we can learn to express more. It takes practice, and we might need to push ourselves to put things into words, but we get even more out of it than our listeners do. Today I will push myself to talk to my trusted friends and my partner. ************************************************** ~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~ Grace is when we notice the near-misses we survived instead of the wishes that didn’t come true. ~ Nancy Hull-Most ~ We all have stories about the harrowing past: the times we woke up not knowing where we were, the open prescription bottle we couldn’t remember emptying, the bashed-in fender, or the open front door of our home. How did we get from there to here? And why? “There but for the grace of God . . is a saying that we come to appreciate when our mind finally clears. We were saved, many times. We have all read about people who weren’t as lucky as we were. Curiously we wonder, Why me? Perhaps we should ponder, instead, what we can do with our lives now that we’re here. We have a unique contribution to make to our loved ones, or we wouldn’t have “escaped.” The next step is to listen to our inner voice for guidance. We have a job to do. It’s time to get on with it. It’s no accident that I am here. I may not know what my job is today, but God will help me understand. ************************************************** ~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~ I am practicing acceptance With my dual disorder, sometimes I feel that the rest of the world is passing me by. Right now I can only work part-time and I'm not happy with that. I often feel like I'm wasting my time. I live by myself in a studio apartment. I can't drive, so I have to take the bus when I go anywhere. At times like this I focus on the idea that maybe my higher power has chosen a different path for me. I suspect the most important thing in my life these days is not career or family. It's recovery. By staying abstinent and stable, I will be on my path and all will be well. I will pray the Serenity Prayer and review my list of assets (from Step Four). ************************************************* ~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~ Ye have many strings to your bow. ~ John Heywood ~ Our recovery depends on our Twelve Step program and the principles we are learning. But we also need recreation and outside interests to stimulate our creativity and personal growth. Most of us can remember beloved hobbies, crafts, and sports we enjoyed in childhood. For some of us, years have gone by since we last spent time on those interests. Now, we’re granted a second chance to rediscover those pastimes that so delighted us as children. Many of them were inexpensive, costing more in creativity than cash — perfect for early recovery when finances are often tight. Outside interests can give our lives a new dimension of enjoyment. And whether we return to an old interest or find new ones, we need only please ourselves. A hobby can help us forget our troubles for a few minutes or a few hours as we give ourselves some simple, wholesome fun. Today let me think of how I can enjoy my spare time. ************************************************** ~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~ I’ve been so lonely for long periods of my life that if a rat walked in I would have welcomed it. ~ Louise Nevelson ~ There is a story about an old donkey that fell into an abandoned well. Many heard the donkey’s cries and raced to the well. The donkey’s owner assessed the situation and realized it could not be rescued. The animal was old and had lived a long life, and the well no longer produced water, so the man decided to bury the donkey in the well. He asked the others to help him. They grabbed shovels and began tossing dirt into the well. At first the donkey brayed loudly, but after a short while, the braying ceased, Its owner peered in and saw that as the dirt piled onto the donkey, the donkey shook off the dirt and stepped up on the dirt below it. The well began to fill with dirt and, as the donkey stepped on the ever-growing pile, came closer to the top of the well. Energized by this turn of events, the people began to shovel dirt furiously into the well, bringing the donkey closer to the top and to its safe escape. Today I will use my own strengths as well as the strength of the fellowship to succeed. ************************************************** ~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~ Happiness grows in our own firesides and is not to be picked in strangers' gardens. ~ Douglas Jerrold ~ The old saying "The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence" is an appropriate sentiment for envious people. When we look at another couple or another family, we may only see the good points. We may look for the same good points in our relationships and families and not find them. We then conclude our happiness, security, and contentment can only occur if we have what others have. In an old comedy routine, a restaurant customer points to another diner and says to the waiter, "I'll have what she's having." The waiter immediately takes the half-eaten food from the other diner and gives it to him. However, we can't take the good things that others have, nor can we share them. We can only learn from them, making things better in our relationships and families. Only we can make things good. Have I been envious of other people and what they have? Tonight I can discover what good I'd like to have in my life. Then I can take steps to bring this good from within me. ************************************************** ~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~ Removing the defects Ralph Waldo Emerson once wrote, “No change of circumstances can repair a defect of character.” For us, this is the absolute truth. If we are impossible to live with, get-ting another spouse will not change our dis-agreeableness. If we constantly bum from friends, changing friends will not make us less of a bum. If we are inconsiderate to our neighbors, moving to another state will not make us more considerate. But working our character-defect Steps can remove our undesirable characteristics. In fact, working these Steps will help us want to give up our faults. Am I rid of all my defects of character? Higher Power, help me realize that the only way to change my character defects is to change my character defects. The defects I will work on today are God help me to stay clean and sober today! ************************************************** ~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~ Though my mouth be dumb, my heart shall thank you. ~ NICHOLAS ROWE ~ Newcomer I've been thinking about some of the things I said to you when I was newer in recovery. I wonder how you put up with me I was so self-absorbed, and I took for granted that you'd be there for me each day. Sponsor Your questions help me to go deeper in my own reading and thinking about the Steps; to stay honest, I've had to deal with some issues of my own that I'd been procrastinating about in recovery. Listening to your experiences reminds me of my own. You help me to stay mindful of my past of active addiction-to remember what got me here, and to feel the importance and the joy of my own recovery. Sponsoring you has given me an opportunity to show up for another person, to be there consistently, yet honor my need for boundaries-there's such a thing as being too helpful, and that's something I've been getting practice dealing with. I have the same addiction you do, and my issues aren't very different from yours. Your trust is a gift. Thank you. Today, I feel gratitude for my ability to give and to receive trust in a relationship with another recovering person. ************************************************** ~ THE EYE OPENER ~ For a person who knew almost everything just a few years back, and who now knows more than he did then, it is indeed strange to have had that consciousness of just beginning to learn the most elementary facts of living. ************************************************** ~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~ Finding Home Dear God, help me think of . . . Stepping on shore, and finding it Heaven! Of taking a hand, and finding it God's hand. Of breathing new air and finding it celestial air. Of feeling invigorated, and finding it immortality. Of passing from storm and tempest to an unbroken calm. Of waking up, and finding it Home. ~ Author unknown ~ ************************************************* ~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~ THE SPIRITUAL BASIS One is either on the Spiritual Basis or he is not, for there is no halfway house in this. You are on the Spiritual Basis: If you definitely give all power to God, in the most literal, practical, and matter of fact sense of the phrase. If you really believe that prayer can do anything. If you really believe that your happiness and well-being are vitally important in the eyes of God. If you realize that whatever ideas and beliefs you accept must be expressed in your surroundings, and in all your relationships and activities. If you try to see the Presence of God everywhere. If, in short, you understand that you are in a mental universe, that things are thoughts, and that one's life history is fundamentally the expression of his belief about God. Draw nigh to God, and he will draw nigh to you (James 4:8 ). ************************************************** ~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~ The Inside Story The only true measure of success is happiness. ~ Anonymous ~ One of the most difficult things I have ever had to do was to walk into the college class that I was co-teaching and inform the students that our senior instructor had committed suicide. My task was especially onerous in light of the fact that the course was a self-improvement class for adults who were seeking motivation to get back into the job market. Dr. Doughty was a brilliant, personable, and vital man who had won the respect and appreciation of many; no one had any clue that he was so unhappy that he would take his own life. The face that many successful people present to the world is a facade. Behind the smiles, charm, and bravado of many famous and admired people, there lies a great emptiness and pain. It is only when there is a tragedy such as a suicide, a violent crime, or a painful divorce that their inner life becomes obvious to the world. Do not be fooled by appearances. The presentations of the world are deceptive. Many people in my seminars have described the glamorous lives they lived as successful business people or entertainers, followed by horror stories of how they were dying inside. If you are smiling at the world but crying inside, you must begin to tell the truth about your experience. Share your real feelings with a friend or counselor, and make a commitment that you will not settle for a double life. Pray to be released from any activities that dishonor your spirit or your integrity. Seek the company of people who are genuinely happy. The happiest are those who have nothing to prove or protect. I thoroughly enjoy "what you see is what you get” people. God created each of us in magnificent beauty. Every human being has enormous gifts to share and bless the world, if we will only be who we are instead of who we are supposed to be. Just be yourself. I want to live from my heart. Help me to be me, without hiding or protection. What I am is good enough. |
October 21
Step by Step Today, extend gratitude but withhold pride on a day that greeted me sober and saw me through doing what is expected of me – expected of the program, expected of the responsibilities to sobriety, and expected of myself. I need not be bogged down with anything from my drinking past – shame, remorse, regret, grandiosity, egoism, anger, depression, or anything else that I could find to keep myself in the gutter. Today, if I awakened sober and proceed through the day doing what is expected of me and do it with integrity and ethics and then go to sleep remembering all that I said and did, then today will be good. I can be grateful for that seemingly simple achievement and, today, it is enough. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M. ************************************************** ~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~ HEALTHY PRIDE The only person keeping us from having self-worth is ourselves. ~ Anonymous ~ Having healthy pride in our accomplishments in recovery is fine as long as it is coupled with gratitude and humility. As long as we don't settle for an inferior quality of recovery and continue to strive for the best, that kind of pride will not cause harm. However, pride out of control is dangerous. Too many are certain they "wrote the book." They take false pride in their accomplishments and feel they have nothing left to learn. They are eager to tell everyone how much they know. This is a sure way of closing a mind that desperately needs to be wide open. This kind of pride has turned into arrogance that causes many people to "turn off." False pride and settling for inferiority will accomplish nothing. I no longer choose to have low self-worth. ************************************************** ~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~ All the works of God proceed slowly and in pain; hut then> their roots are the sturdier and their flowering the lovelier. ~ Theresa Gerhardinger ~ Life is difficult. No one gets through life without some struggle and pain. But we men in recovery know that our problems and struggles were the lessons that shaped us when we were willing to learn. Naturally we become impatient and want to get past the difficulties faster. We look at our neighbors who appear to have easier lives—and maybe some of them do right now. But we have our own path to walk and we must walk in our own footsteps, not someone else’s. If we had never confronted problems and pain, we would have nothing to fall back on for the next part of our life. Our transformation has already progressed. Because we keep coming back to this program and follow its guidance one day at a time, the days quickly turn into months and the months into years and our roots grow stronger. I will live today with patience and follow the guidance that my program gives me as my transformation continues. ************************************************** ~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~ Recovery leads to self-knowledge, love, and joy. Addiction leads to self-loathing, fear, and isolation. The choice is mine. ~ Sarah Desmond ~ Having decided on a clean and sober life gives us opportunities we’d never have imagined. We’re learning how to love ourselves and appreciate other people. We’re learning that a Higher Power guides and protects us. No one makes our decisions for us. We are free to go back to the old life any time we want to. Each day offers us a clean slate. We fill it in according to the principles we live by. Making healthy choices regarding these twenty-four hours becomes easier as we accumulate a series of healthy days. Occasionally we wonder why we chose a fearful, isolated life. Recovery was always available to us. We weren’t ready for it, however, and it’s far more productive to trust that we came to this program when the time was right. I choose how I live each day. Understanding that makes the right choice more obvious. ************************************************** ~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~ I need to know the difference between street drugs and medication When my psychiatrist first wanted to help me by prescribing a medication for my emotional illness, I said absolutely not. I told him I was in recovery from chemical dependency and would take no mood-altering chemicals. I said I was afraid of relapsing to my addiction. In a word, I couldn't yet trust him. So I talked with someone I did trust, my dual recovery sponsor. From her I learned that psychiatric medication is rarely addictive. And it differs from street drugs in several other ways: it is designed for specific illnesses, given in strict dosages, and available only through a doctor and a pharmacy. Once I understood the difference, I was able to trust my doctor with my dual illness. I could accept his treatment recommendations, and make progress in recovery. I will make a list of the people I've come to trust since I began recovery. ************************************************* ~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~ You can see farther in the dark than in the day. ~ Anonymous ~ Looking back over our lives, we can often see patches of light and dark, clusters of events that we remember as good times or bad. During the dark days we probably had little faith in silver linings, little belief that tragedy could yield unexpected blessings. In fact, we may have been angry at anyone who suggested to us to look for the good side. And when we were showered with blessings — even if they were right in our face — we probably couldn’t see them for what they were. We simply didn’t have the tools. All we could do was keep alert for the down side, and spend so much attention looking for pitfalls that we overlooked the good. But today it’s different. When we look back, the past is not so shadowy as it once was. There were moments of clarity and focus, especially during the dark days. One of those moments was probably the beginning of our recovery, the moment we began to realize we could no longer live like we had, the moment we began to choose life over death. We are continuing to choose life every day in recovery, and by this choice we are creating a light even in our darkest days. Today let me find the light in my darkness. Help me believe that it’s there. ************************************************** ~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~ Shall I give you my recipe for happiness? I find everything useful and nothing indispensable. I find everything wonderful and nothing miraculous. ~ Norman Douglas ~ Too often you may think that your happiness comes from people, places, or things. You may think that if you won the heart of someone you love, moved to a different location, or had everything you wanted, you would truly be happy. But what happens if you do not get who, what, or where you want? Does this mean you must be resigned to a lifetime of unhappiness because the conditions of your happiness have not been met? Happiness does not come from an object, a person, or place. Nor does it come from endless striving or attempting to capture it like a pot of gold at the end of a rainbow. Rather, happiness comes from following your true purpose and passion. It is being committed to staying on the path you have chosen. It is enjoying the journey and not caring whether or when the path will end. Just being on the path that is right for you is enough to bring happiness. Happiness comes from the path I have chosen and the progress I make. ************************************************** ~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~ Life is made up of sobs, sniffles, and smiles, with sniffles predominating. ~ O. Henry ~ The balance in life places us between happiness and sadness. Life can't always be ecstatically happy and free from woe, just as it isn't always miserably unhappy. Somewhere in the middle is a gray area where neither smiles nor sobs predominate. Living life on its terms means accepting the events life brings without overreacting with ecstasy or depression. Acceptance sometimes means we may not feel happy and we may not feel sad—we may just feel. This is the middle ground of feeling that isn’t high or low—it seems indefinable. We don't always have to feel great. Sometimes we can just feel okay. Accepting that middle-of-the-road feeling and not trying to analyze it or define it gives us the freedom to have gray are s in our lives. And sometimes it is the gray area that keeps us from bouncing off walls or riding an emotional roller coaster. Accepting the gray area can give us sanity. Tonight I can find the gray area in my life and realize not everything has to be good or bad—sometimes it can just be. ************************************************** ~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~ Expressing good Often we find ourselves thinking in terms of completing tasks rather than of expressing good. We view interruptions as frustrating delays, when they can be opportunities to glorify our Higher Power. Instead of saying, “How much can I accomplish today?” try restating your goal as, “How much good can I express today?” In expressing good, we accomplish much. Our primary task each day is to express the nature of Infinite Spirit. We can consider a day to be fruitful if its spiritual demands have been perceived and fulfilled. Responding to setbacks with peace and love is much easier when we know that our main job in this life is to express good. How much good have I expressed today? Higher Power, help me to remember throughout this day that no task or plan is more important than expressing your love. Today I will express good by God help me to stay clean and sober today! ************************************************** ~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~ Any musician who says he is playing better on tea, the needle, or when he is juiced is a plain straight liar. ~ CHARLIE PARKER ~ Newcomer In spite of everything I've been learning about addiction since coming into recovery I still have an image of artists, musicians, and other creative people as exceptions, as people outside the norm. Some part of me wonders if the ones who drink or use drugs would still be able to do what they do sober. Sponsor If you take a good look around at a meeting, you'll find a great many creative people. Listening to them tell their stories has convinced me that addiction got in the way more than it helped. My own myth of the creative vision inspired by drugs has fallen apart as I've heard writers, musicians, and painters tell how, when they were active in their addictions, they lacked the will and attention span to write, make music, or paint. Those who've always done their creative work while using an addictive substance need time in recovery before they are able to create with ease and pleasure again. We crave the experience of heightened perception and spiritual release that addictive substances and behaviors once provided. We sometimes want to crack open our shells, to forget what others think, to be our spontaneous, unedited selves. We need to explore new ways to let the hidden parts of ourselves out into the light, to allow ourselves the freedom to dance with our demons and angels. Today, I shed some of my inhibition and allow more of my real self to come out. ************************************************** ~ THE EYE OPENER ~ One day, not too long ago, you lost everything in the world you held dear, then a man sat down with you and he gave you friendship, understanding, faith, hope, courage and opportunity. Have you ever realized the great value of what this man gave you? These were the tools with which you made a new and better life. Someone did this for you, so "go and do thou likewise." ************************************************** ~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~ Release Hurt, Anger, Resentment God of Reason, I am willing to release all feelings of hurt and anger and resentment. Help me know true forgiveness and see each person as part of You. Let my words and my actions serve only to honor You. May my honest and positive action heal and comfort and harmonize my life and the lives of those around me. Thank You, God. ~ Adapted, author unknown ~ ************************************************* ~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~ WHEN GOD DOES NOT ACT We all believe that the love of God is invincible. We all believe that His intelligence, His knowledge, and His power are infinite. We all believe that God cares for us to a degree beyond imagining, and that each one of us is equally precious in His sight. Yet, in many cases healing and harmony do not follow from this knowledge. Why is this? In more cases it is because we have forgotten that these qualities have to be embodied in ourselves before they can appear in our lives. To know of them as existing in God is not sufficient. We must be seeking to express them in our personal lives before they can do anything for us. The only way to know God is to seek to express Him in our lives. It is a good thing to give thanks unto the Lord . . . to show forth thy lovingkindness in the morning, and thy faithfulness every night (Psalm 92:1-2) ************************************************** ~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~ Drive It There is nothing you need to do first to be enlightened. ~ Thadeus Golas ~ On a billboard, I saw a marvelous Lexus advertisement: Don't pursue perfection-Drive it. Now there is a powerful affirmation for mastering life! Many of us have gotten caught up in the game of seeking. We attend seminars, read books, sit at the feet of gurus, get psychic readings, and do all manner of therapies, processes, and initiations, all the while identifying ourselves as students on the path of truth. But we get more of whatever we identify with. As long as we see ourselves as students, that is all we shall be. There comes a point at which we must identify with our wholeness rather than the part that is striving. Learning and growth will always occur, but behind all of the external unfoldment, we are full. Imagine that all of your trying, seeking, and striving has been completed. Imagine that you have within you all the awareness and tools you need to live a life of joy, creativity, success, and love. Imagine that you don't have to pass any more tests or prove anything to anyone. Imagine that you don't have to earn the love or favor of God. Imagine that you have the abilities and credentials to offer healing and support to others. These imaginings are much closer to the truth than the imaginings that you are broken, wounded, or needy. Jesus said, "I am the way, the truth, and the life." If you recognize who you are, you can make this statement with equal authority. Practice being enlightened. It is the truth about you. I am ready to live my wholeness. Shine through me that I may bless myself and the world. I am the light of the world. I let it radiate in full splendor. |
October 22
Step by Step “The classification of alcoholics seems most difficult …There are, of course, the psychopaths who are emotionally unstable. …They are always ‘going on the wagon for keeps.’ They are over-remorseful and make many resolutions, but never a decision. “There is the type of man who is unwilling to admit that he cannot take a drink. He plans various ways of drinking. He changes his brand or his environment. There is the type who always believes that after being entirely free from alcohol for a period of time he can take a drink without danger. There is the manic-depressive type, who is, perhaps, the least understood by his friends … “Then there are types entirely normal in every respect except in the effect alcohol has upon them. They are often able, intelligent, friendly people. “All these, and many others, have one symptom in common: they cannot start drinking without developing the phenomenon of craving.” – Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, “The Doctor’s Opinion,” p xxviii. Today, no wasting time figuring out in what “classification” of drinking I fit because, in the end, the common denominator for everyone is that we cannot now or ever drink responsibly. If I accept it as absolute truth and have surrendered to Step One, I can begin the work toward recovery. If I have continue to deny the reality that I can never drink again, I cannot set out on the journey toward sobriety because I have not admitted my powerlessness over alcohol. And if the medical opinion here is on the mark – that drinking is the trigger to the “phenomenon of craving” – the solution to quenching the craving is simple: don’t drink. Keep it simple! And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M. ************************************************** ~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~ BEING HUMBLE Humility is not thinking less of yourself, but thinking of yourself less. ~ Anonymous ~ Humility was confusing to us when we were new to the Program. Our first reaction was to think we were supposed to accept anything that came our way, however humiliating. But true humility doesn't mean a meek surrender to an ugly, destructive way of life. It means surrender to the will of our Higher Power. "Humility" and "humiliation" are entirely different things. Being humble is being teachable. Humility opens us to growth in all other helpful ways of living a healthy and productive life. Through humility, we gain more faith, trust, hope, helpfulness, forgiveness, charity, and the ability to freely care and share. The simple practice of gratitude, listening, and sharing help us cut through grandiosity and leads us toward growth in humility. When I practice humility, I am growing in strength and making spiritual progress. ************************************************** ~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~ The greatest of all arts is the art of living together. ~ William Lyon Phelps ~ What is this thing called intimacy? It is letting oneself be seen and known to someone who is paying attention. We all want intimacy and we often don’t really know what it is. We confuse sex with intimacy. Many of us have sought the pleasure and excitement of sexual passion as the fast road to intimacy. Many of us focus on what we are looking for in a partner without looking at what we offer as a partner. True, rewarding, and deep intimacy comes in letting ourselves be known. Sex itself is never more erotic and passionate than when we are emotionally open and honest. That doesn’t mean we have license to be a jerk. We can be open and honest, and genuinely put ourselves in someone else’s hands, without dumping our disrespectful or hurtful feelings on the other person. When we seek intimacy, the straight line to get there is to let ourselves be known. Today I will let my feelings and my history be known to the one I seek intimacy with. ************************************************** ~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~ I didn’t realize until recently that the emptiness inside was gone. It started to dissipate when I began cultivating a relationship with God. ~ Cathy Stone ~ We spent our lives trying to fill the emptiness inside. We looked to drugs or food or relationships. For brief spells we may have felt filled up, but in the early morning hours the fear and loneliness generally returned. Why hadn’t we learned about the hope that comes from having a relationship with God? Everything looks different to us when we include a caring Higher Power in our picture. The terror dissipates when God is present. The torment over what decision to make is gone when God is consulted. Expanding our perspective to embrace the reality of God’s existence changes even the tiniest details in our lives. What a wonderful gift we have in this relationship with God. Our worries are gone, if we want them to be. Our emptiness is filled, if we want it to be. Our joy is complete, if we are ready. My relationship with God will answer all my questions today. ************************************************** ~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~ I can handle my symptoms I can't stand it when I get this tension, this tightness, this buzz in my body. I can't settle down. What's happening to me? Why am I feeling this way? I'm sober now. What did I do to deserve this? I want this pain to stop. As painful as the tension is, however, I know I can handle it. I can handle it because I'm not drinking over it, I'm not adding fuel to the fire. I can handle this attack because I'm not getting anxious about my anxiety. I am thinking clearly enough to recall that people can still have episodes of anxiety even though they're sober and taking proper medication—like me. I trust this won’t last long and I can muddle through. I will sit down and take four deep breaths each minute for four minutes. ************************************************* ~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~ And in His will, our peace. ~ Dante Alighieri ~ When something goes terribly wrong in our world we may despair, feeling life will never be right again. Some kinds of pain may seem too much for us to stand. At times like this, we need faith that our grief will fade in time, and that we can find the strength to bear our feelings until they change. Broken hearts will heal and we will learn to smile again. We will find new friends to replace those we have lost. Our Higher Power has a plan for us that we can never really know. He will never give us more sorrow than we can bear. With faith in tomorrow’s sunrise, we can survive our grief today. Faith in our Higher Power can help us find peace while we mourn our losses. Our Twelve Step fellowship offers support, comfort, and love to sustain us through our darkest moments. As we find new communion with our Higher Power and friends, we may realize that sometimes, out of our greatest pain, our greatest joy is born. Today I am grateful for the closeness of my Higher Power, especially in times of grief and loss. ************************************************** ~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~ You can’t wring your hands and roll up your sleeves at the same time. ~ Pat Schroeder ~ At times you may worry about how well you are doing in recovery. Even if you have not used or abused, you may have thought about drinking or drugging or even awakened from dreams in which you were using. Do such things mean you are not working the program in the right way? If you have not yet started to work on your inventory, made a list of those you have harmed, or made amends to anyone, does that mean you are not doing well in your recovery? Or maybe you have not accepted the reality of your addiction. Or maybe you do not know why you drank so much and so often or why you did the things you did when you were drunk. Does this mean you do not belong in the program or that you need to figure out the answers to your questions first? Edith Armstrong once wrote that she conquered worry by thinking of her mind as if it were a telephone. She kept her mind busy with “peace, harmony, health, love and abundance.” Whenever doubt, anxiety, or fear tried to “call” her, “they kept getting a busy signal.” Rather than worry about attaining perfection in the program, I will concentrate on making progress. I will keep busy so there is no time to worry. ************************************************** ~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~ Every year I live I am more convinced that the waste of life lies in the love we have not given, the powers we have not used, the selfish prudence that will miss nothing, and which, shirking pain, misses happiness as well. ~ Mary Cholomondeley ~ When we were children our teachers or parents would talk about realizing our full potential. "He's a bright child," they might have said, "but he's not working up to his full potential." What is our full potential? And how do we realize it? We all have certain abilities. With these we can learn, play, love, mature, take risks, make decisions, and speak our minds. Before the program, we may not have developed abilities to do some of these things. When we avoid developing an ability, we are not realizing our full potential. If we don't learn to play, we lose social skills and the fun-oriented part of us. If we don’t work on our capacity to love, we lose emotional and spiritual growth. By growing to our full potential, we can live life as whole people. I can begin to include those long-ignored areas and take the first step to becoming a complete and whole person. ************************************************** ~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~ Tending spiritual needs The less that is said about the physical nature of our disease, the more will be said of our spiritual needs. Our program is a set of suggestions for spiritual health that has worked to get many well. We have found that attending to our physical needs is not enough; we must tend to our spiritual needs as well. When we’re able to shut out the thoughts of the ego and close in on our spiritual feelings, we have a firm foundation for spiritual growth. As confident as we may be of our own thinking, we can hardly guide ourselves alone. Only adherence to spiritual principles and to a Higher Power can make a lasting difference in our lives. How is my spiritual health? Higher Power, help me live my life closer to you. Today I will enhance my spiritual health by God help me to stay clean and sober today! ************************************************** ~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~ There are wonderful moments, those rare moments when there is silence, a tangible silence out there, a silence deeper than silence. ~ DEREK JACOBI ~ Newcomer Sometimes I get uncomfortable when there's a long period of quiet in a meeting. It always seems strange to me when people aren't putting up their hands. There's so little time. It amazes me that not everyone wants to speak. Sponsor Some of us feel bored or anxious when there is silence. Many people live with the continuous sound of radio or TV in their homes, cars, and even workplaces. I moved from the nonstop noise of the city to a quiet rural village, only to find that my next-door neighbor left her TV on all night long. Why is silence so unacceptable? Some of us are filled with excessive concern about others in the room: "They should speak; it would be good for them." Or "Have I done something to alienate them, to keep them from wanting to speak?" For some of us, silence means having to listen to the chaos of our own thoughts and feelings. If we're unwilling to sit with ourselves in stillness, letting thoughts and feelings pass through us, then we also fail to hear what lies beneath them, what some call the voice of our souls. Whether we're alone or with others, when we sit in stillness, we may begin to hear Eternity. Today, I allow myself some time to sit in stillness. ************************************************** ~ THE EYE OPENER ~ We alcoholics should never claim Justice. It is the one thing in the way of a virtue that we can't use. It would be poison. It would be found upon examination that had we received justice we would never have gotten to the door of AA. The warden wouldn't have allowed it. If we are wise we will confine our conversations to Mercy, for this is something we want and need, but if Justice was ever given us in full measure we would find it would be something we didn't want. ************************************************** ~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~ Bad Day Today was a bad day. Forgive me for my anger toward others, The anger was my own. Forgive me for my prejudice toward others; The prejudice and intolerance came from my own arrogance. Forgive me for my lack of faith in You; My lack of faith is my own fear of failure. Tomorrow will be a better day. I had a bad day, but it has ended. And I am sober. ************************************************* ~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~ CAPITALIZE YOUR DISABILITY Success consists in the overcoming of difficulties. All men and women who have made a success of any kind have done so by over-coming difficulties. There was a time when laying a telegraph line from New York to Boston presented many difficulties. Then there was a time when doing that was easy' but laying the Atlantic cable presented difficulties. Later on, marine cable laying became a routine business, but radio across the ocean presented problems that for a time were insuperable. If you have a personal disability that seems to keep you from success, do not accept it as such, but capitalize on it and use it as the instrument for your success. H. G. Wells had to give up a dull underpaid job because of ill health, so he stayed at home and wrote successful books and became a world known author instead. Edison was stone deaf and decided that this would enable him to concentrate better on his inventions. Theodore Roosevelt was a sickly child, very short-sighted and nervous. However, he worked hard to develop his body and became, as we know, a strong husky open air man and big game hunter. The owner of a fashionable dress business in London was the wife of a struggling clerk, who was stricken with tuberculosis. She had never been in business, and had no training, and found herself having to support a husband and two children. She started with nothing but good taste in clothes and a belief in prayer. Problems are signposts on the road to God. . . . To him that overcometh will I give to eat of the tree of life (Revelation 2:7). ************************************************** ~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~ Guaranteed Overnight Delivery Healing is available to you now, unless you believe the will of God takes time. ~ A Course in Miracles ~ One evening when I was teaching creative visualization in adult school, I guided a strong meditation on abundance. "Know that we live in a rich and abundant universe," I told the students. “All the good you seek is available and on its way to you; just open your mind and heart and let it flow." The energy of the meditation was especially poignant, and I felt something click in my own heart. The next morning I went to my mailbox to see if anyone had registered for one of my first retreats, and I was astounded to find 12 checks. My internal acceptance of abundance was mirrored by external manifestation. A trucking company on the East Coast has huge letters painted on the sides of its trailers: G.O.D.: Guaranteed Overnight Delivery. Indeed, God is capable of Guaranteed Overnight Delivery, in far more miraculous ways than any worldly enterprise. When the results we seek do not come about, it is not because the universe is incapable of delivering them; we may not be ready or willing to receive them. We may harbor doubts about our worthiness; we may have bought into the limitation thoughts of others; we may fear that our life will change if we succeed; or we may hold some subconscious belief that we need to suffer to be happy. None of these notions are true and we must rid them from our consciousness to make way for the success we desire. Another way we separate ourselves from our good is with the belief that the will of God takes time. It does not. You can manifest your good now if your heart is open to receive it. An apple falls from the tree when it is ripe, there is no way it can continue to stay on the branch. In the same way, there is no way your blessings can be separated from you if you affirm in your gut, "Yes, I accept." Show me that love is here now. Help me be open to receive all You would give me. I accept the love of God and all my good into my life now. |
October 23
Step by Step Today, if some habit seems too strong for me to overcome, I won’t waste energy to fight what I shouldn’t: I’ll simply change the game rules. If being drunk was habitual, I’ll make being sober a habit. If I have a temptation, craving or compulsion, I’ll take a 10th or 12th Step. If lying was or still is a habit, telling the truth will be the new habit and in the process, I might learn how much easier honesty is compared to the work it takes to keep the lies going. If interacting with anyone was from an antagonistic or condescending perspective, I’ll make a habit of asking my higher power to remind me that I wouldn’t tolerate anyone treating me as I treat them. If dodging responsibility was or still is a habit, I’ll face the music if for no other reason than to be done with it. If I think my perspective of any issue is the only logical one and that everyone needs to hear it, I’ll ask my higher power that I consider the possibility that mine might not be the only opinion, and certainly not the best. Habits die hard, and humans – addicts and non-addicts alike – are notoriously resistant to change. Today I’ll simply change the game rules and, in the end, make sobriety instead of alcohol my addiction. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M. ************************************************** ~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~ OPTIMISM The Program works if you want it to work. ~ Anonymous ~ Rarely do climbers stare up to see how far away the top still is. Instead, when they rest, they look down toward the starting point of their journey. The view they see assures them that they have already come a long, long way. Like the climbers, we need to keep our eyes on where we are and where we've been, not on where we're going. When we become discouraged with the progress of our recovery, we only need to look back over how far we have come. The rewarding "view" gives us courage to continue. Many of us recall times when we lived without hope and the sense of impending doom. Now we look forward to life with confidence. Today, I will remember to face my climb with optimism. Even if my progress sometimes seems slow to me, it's still a long way from where I once was. ************************************************** ~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~ Approach love and cooking with reckless abandon. ~ H. Jackson Brown, Jr. ~ Our creator made us as loving and sensuous beings. Some have said that it was our search for God, misguided though it was, that led us into addiction and codependency. Some of us have sought nirvana in a bottle, others by compulsively picking up the pieces of someone else’s life, and some of us through sex, gambling, or overeating. The fact that we were misguided in our search doesn’t negate the fact that we are sensuous and loving men. We know that the very avenues to pleasure and joy can become paths to our destruction. Now we are learning to handle our emotions directly rather than by covering them with pleasure seeking. We can live a full life while guiding our search for God and for pleasure in more constructive ways. We can give free reign to our love for others without taking over their lives. We can be grown-up, sensuous, passionate lovers with our partners. We can indulge in the pleasure of great flavors without using food to cover our emotions. Today I take great pleasure in my loves and claim my passion and sensuality. ************************************************** ~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~ I must be prepared before the crisis comes. ~ Ruth Humlecker ~ Being prepared for a crisis may seem like a negative outlook to some. After all, if we expect trouble, won’t we get it? However, there is another way to think about preparation: it is a chance to make sure the tools of the program are easily accessible and familiar through use. For example, one valuable tool is available when we give our lives and will to God. We can handle any situation if we let our Higher Power help carry our burdens. Another valuable tool is communicating regularly with a sponsor. We can avoid many disasters when we seek her advice, since her thinking is often clearer than our own. Many crises result from our attempts to force other people to live according to our rules. Becoming willing, through the broad application of Step One, to accept our powerlessness over everybody else saves us from many conflicts. Unchecked conflicts are the stuff that crises are often made of. The best preparation, of course, is believing that we’ll never be given more that we can handle. I am prepared to handle whatever comes to me today. The program will see me through every detail of my life. ************************************************** ~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~ I can't do this on my own I remember thinking that using street drugs would take care of my psychiatric symptoms. I believed that the more chemicals I used, the better I would feel. I also believed that if I stopped using chemicals, my symptoms would worsen. I was wrong. One morning, I woke up feeling terrified. I suddenly realized that my "solution" wasn't working, and in fact, despite my self-medication, my problems were getting worse. Now, in dual recovery I admit that I can’t recover on my own, that I need outside help for my illnesses. My first helper was a therapist who gently encouraged me to work with a Twelve Step group for my addiction. Later, I got help from a psychiatrist. All three helpers—therapist, recovery group, and doctor—are powers greater than I am. I need them and I am fortunate and grateful to have them. In my prayers today I will remember my helpers and all the help I am getting. ************************************************* ~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~ Somewhere beyond the curtain Of distorting days Lives that lonely thing That shone before these eyes. ~ William Butler Yeats ~ Recovery can be like a curtain going up a little at a time. It opens very slowly, sometimes dropping back down a little, sometimes staying where it is for weeks or months before rising some more. This image helps remind us that our recovery doesn’t always progress at the speed we would like. It is often a slow process, with many starts and stops. But we know that as long as we work our program, the curtain will continue to go up. We have faith that eventually our lives will be filled with the light our program lets in. We are on the right track toward a better way of life. Whether our curtain is only up a little or much further along, we share with those in our fellowship a common strength, a common goal, and a common destination. Today let me be grateful for the others who are with me on the road to recovery. ************************************************** ~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~ The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing in the right place but to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment. ~ Dorothy Nevill ~ When you are having an intense argument with a friend or a loved one, you may find yourself thinking, “This is not the way I wanted this conversation to go.” When it is finally over, you may blame yourself and think that if you had only kept your mouth shut, the argument would have never happened. Recovery provides you with a greater understanding about communication so you can improve upon the way in which you deliver information to others. One of the most important things you learn is to focus on how you feel. Rather than say to someone, “You make me so mad,” you learn to own your feelings by saying, “I am so mad right now.” “You” statements deliver blame; “I” statements deliver messages. Keeping “you” out of the dialogue defuses defensiveness and accusation while raising awareness of what made you feel anger. Starting today, become more aware of changing “you” statements to “I” messages. Even if the other person uses “you” statements, refrain from responding in kind. I will begin my conversations with “I want...” or “I need...” or “I feel.. ************************************************** ~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~ I do not know what I appear to the world, but to myself I seem to have been only . . . playing on the seashore . . . whilst the great ocean of truth lay all undiscovered before me. ~ Sir Isaac Newton ~ Before the program we chose to see only what we wanted and turned away from any distractions. We may have been aware of obsessive or addictive problems, but those were off to our left or right. We may have seen the emotional or physical breakdown of a person or family, but this was also off to the side. What lay ahead was just getting through a day and on to a future we hoped would be better. The program has helped us deal with the problems we always put off. Today we know we must meet every problem face-to-face without running away or avoiding it. What lies ahead of us is no longer as important as what lies right in front of us. Are there issues I've been avoiding! Tonight I can take one of those issues and see it clearly. I will be unafraid to meet the challenge. ************************************************** ~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~ Taking just a little If we are trying to stay clean and sober while drinking a little beer or smoking a little pot, we are missing the mark. We can never know sobriety and cleanness under those conditions. Our programs cannot be effective or honest if we use any type of mind-altering chemical. If you sincerely want the freedom, serenity, and joy of a drug-free existence, doing “a little” will never get it for you. Have I learned that taking just a little invariably ends up in taking way too much? Higher Power, show me the ways I try to trick myself into using mind-altering chemicals and keep me from them. Today I will remember my powerlessness by God help me to stay clean and sober today! ************************************************** ~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~ The dogs bark, but the caravan moves on. ~ ARABIC PROVERB ~ Newcomer I read an article that attacked Twelve Step programs. It was the same criticism I once heard expressed crudely by someone I knew who'd tried the program for a short time: "First they suck you in; then they drop the God stuff on you." The article asserted that people in Twelve Step programs don't think for themselves. Sponsor Perhaps it's an indication of our widespread success that some people feel compelled to critique us! By now you know that every suggestion we're offered here is optional. We have no rules, no creed. Most people who want what we have find their own way here. Like you, I've felt upset when I've seen occasional misrepresentations in the media of how we accomplish what we do here. I've noticed that most of the self-designated experts who are opposed to us aren't people in recovery. I like to think of their "exposes" as something like travel writing-you and I, who live in recovery can smile at their mistakes. More people need recovery than find lt. If someone is persuaded to stay away from us after reading just one magazine article, my hunch is that he or she is still looking for ways to rationalize active addiction. Recovery is not an abstraction; it makes life today possible. I have immense gratitude that this program was founded and has lasted to the present day. Luckily, it isn't a debating society. We don't have to concern ourselves with petty attacks on the program, from without or within. Today, I focus on my experience of recovery, not others’ opinions of it. ************************************************** ~ THE EYE OPENER ~ "Why can't that guy get the Program? He is down and out, he has taken a terrible beating, just what is the matter?" We try to analyze the man, his mental capacity, his home life, his employment, his environment, and the answer just isn't there. Have we improperly delivered the message? The chances are he isn't ripe—he still wants to drink. He cannot see the light, but he is probably further away from it than you think. Maybe it just isn't dark enough yet. ************************************************** ~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~ Forgiving Others Dear Lord, if I am unable or unwilling to forgive others for their actions, I will be unable to forgive myself for my actions. The agony of resentment, guilt, remorse, and shame will overpower me. These emotions will halt my progress toward the comfortable and rewarding living we are promised in working our recovery program. Dear Lord, help me to pray for those who anger me and make me uncomfortable and those who I think have wronged me. You have instructed me that forgiveness will always triumph over guilt and shame. Remind me that my recovery is one-third love and two-thirds forgiveness. ************************************************* ~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~ THE SUNSHINE OF GOD'S LOVE Beyond every problem or difficulty lies the Truth of Being. This means that in spite of the appearance, you must believe that divine Mind is already healing the situation. Jesus said that when you pray, believe that you have received. Often we are so close to a problem that, spiritually speaking, we accept the cloudy day as a permanent state of climate, forgetting that the sunshine of divine Love and Power has never ceased to shine, although obscured for the moment. In prayer we remind ourselves again that, no matter how bleak or overcast the picture may be, we believe that in divine Mind there is nothing but good and therefore only good can express itself in these circumstances. The important thing is to raise your consciousness above the level where the difficulty seems to be, and put God there instead. Then shall the righteous shine forth as the sun in the kingdom of their Father (Matthew 13:43). ************************************************** ~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~ Closer Than You Think When you come to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on. ~ Attributed to Franklin D. Roosevelt ~ In The African Queen, Humphrey Bogart and Katharine Hepburn are exhausted after a long and gruelling adventure down a troublesome river. After overcoming terrible obstacles, their boat is stranded on a dry river bed, inestimably far from the ocean they have fought so hard to reach. Spent, and knowing that they can do no more on their own behalf, the couple falls into deep sleep, prepared to surrender to death. As their eyes close, the camera slowly pulls to an aerial view that reveals that the ocean they have sought lies just beyond the next bend, but a few hundred yards away. Then a miracle happens. While the couple sleeps, rain comes, and in a short time the river begins to flow again. By the time they awaken, the boat has floated to the ocean they believed was many miles away. They were closer than they thought. You, too, may be just inches from your goal-not the miles you believe. If you have done everything that you can possibly do, it may be time for you to surrender and accept help from above. Self-made millionaire and insurance mogul A.L. Williams called his book All You Can Do Is All You Can Do But All You Can Do Is Enough. We are asked to do only what we can, beyond that the universe is in charge. Consider any projects or goals you have been struggling over or about which you feel are fruitless. Write them down on a piece of paper, and place it on an altar. Make a statement of surrender in which you let go of your efforts to make something happen, and entrust the entire process to the hands of a loving God. Like the African Queen travelers who made their best efforts and then surrendered, you may find that the ocean is just around the next bend. I have done all I can. Help me to find the peace I seek. I turn my intention over to God, trusting that love will care for me. |
October 24
Step by Step “The alcoholic may say to himself in the most casual way, ‘It won’t burn me this time, so here’s how!’ Or perhaps he doesn’t think at all. How often have some of us begun to drink in this nonchalant way, and after the third or fourth, pounded on the bar and said to ourselves, ‘For God’s sake, how did I ever get started again?’ Only to have that thought supplanted by, ‘Well, I’ll stop with the sixth drink.’ Or, ‘What’s the use anyhow?'” – Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, Ch 2 (“There Is a Solution”), p 24. Today: what’s the use anyhow? There isn’t any if I cave into the myth that “just one” won’t hurt. “Just one” triggers the craving that leads to “just two,” then “just six” and, in the end, “What’s the use anyhow?” So much for “just one.” It’s the one that sets off the craving, temptation or thirst for the “just two” or “just six.” How, then, not to feed a craving, temptation or thirst? Simple! Don’t drink the first one! We’ve been handed the tools to steer clear of the mythical “just one.” All we need do is pick them up and put them into action. Today, we have the power and choice to prevent that potentially fatal conclusion of our drinking days: what’s the use anyhow. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M. ************************************************** ~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~ HONESTY Honesty is largely a matter of information, of knowing that dishonesty is a mistake. ~ Edgar Watson Howe ~ If honesty is the best policy, most of us were delinquent in following it before we found recovery. We were reluctant to tell the truth because we were afraid of the consequences. Our dishonesties led us away from our true selves. We felt we were living behind hundreds of masks. We tried to out the world together through our manipulations. We were always whole and complete. It was our lying, dishonesty, and rationalizations that made us feel small. When we honestly look at our life now and account for our actions, we reclaim our identity. This is a wonderful experience. We can take pleasure in the unique person that we are, and continue to build a new life. Honesty keeps me in the present reality and opens the door to the future. I never need to hide again. ************************************************** ~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~ I loved boxing. I loved every minute of it, every round in the gym, every skip of the rope, and every foot on the road. The fights were the dessert. ~ Carmen Basilio, middleweight champion ~ Life is about the path, not just the destination. Yes, we have goals and commitments in mind; they give us direction and motivation. But getting there is our life experience. We have some big goals that guide us; they are not accomplished in a day. We live each day in the stream that carries us forward as we gradually loosen our controlling grip. This path is about the process of moving forward as much as it is about arriving at our destination. We never use the word cured because we never have that much control. We only seek to be on the path and stay there, loving our experiences along the way. Once in a while we enjoy the “dessert” of an achievement, but sharing our lives with loved ones, enjoying a day of good work, taking time to go fishing or dig in the garden—these are the real stuff of a good life. Today on my path I will take pleasure in what the day brings. ************************************************** ~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~ Attitude and perspective are everything. Thus I see the glass as half-full, not half-empty. ~ Kathy Kendall ~ Cynics rob themselves of the happiness they deserve. Sometimes we let them rob us of our happiness as well. Fortunately, our attitudes aren’t up for grabs unless we relinquish ownership. Developing a loving, positive attitude isn’t difficult. If our family of origin was angry and opinionated, we may have gravitated toward a similar out-look. But with some effort we can follow the examples of people with a more positive outlook: good role models are easy to find in Twelve Step pro-grams. We’ll discover that we can create a more accepting perspective. No one sees our experiences exactly as we do; each of us responds to life uniquely. We can come to understand this profound truth and willingly develop respect for all perspectives. When we accept that others’ interpretations are right for them, and decide to see the positive rather than the negative in our own lives, we are promised true contentment. I can kick the negatives out of my life today if that’s my choice. How I look at any experience depends on how I choose to see it. ************************************************** ~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~ I can cope It's not even dawn and I'm wide awake. I feel sad and scared and exhausted. After two weeks, my antidepressant still doesn’t seem to be working. Right now, I'm wondering when I will ever feel better. Still, my doctor said I might feel this way. He said it could take a couple weeks—maybe longer—for the medication to take effect. Coping is not easy, but I think I can still hang on. I have a higher power to help me. I will be better soon. I will first ask my higher power for strength and then I'll get out of bed and begin my day. ************************************************* ~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~ He that is thy friend indeed, He will help thee in thy need. ~ Richard Bamfield ~ With friends we can get through the hardest times. When things seem bleak and gloomy, a friend can brighten the day. A friend can tell us a hard truth when we need to hear one and help us enjoy a good laugh that brings back our perspective. Now that we’re recovering, every day is a chance to find new friends. Our Twelve Step program is a great place to meet healthy people from all walks of life, people with all kinds of experience. Once, we might have had a limited idea of who a friend could be, but now we seek out those with our common goals of sobriety and serenity. We find we have much in common with people of different ages, races, and religions. We’re all recovering, and struggling to find new peace in our lives. Together, we can share our experience and learn from one another, and we can enjoy the glow that comes from making new friends. When we open ourselves up to that experience and make the effort we discover how deserving we are. Today I am grateful for the new world of friends waiting for me. ************************************************** ~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~ Privacy is something I’m not merely entitled to, it’s an absolute prerequisite. ~ Marlon Brando ~ Nowadays private lives seem to have become irrelevant. It is not just rich and powerful people or those in the spotlight whose lives have been made into open books. Videos of truly private moments are broadcast on web-sites. Diaries people once kept under lock and key have been transformed into blogs, made available to the entire world. Personal messages e-mailed to one person can be intercepted and sent to multiple recipients. And even innocent surfing on the Internet can capture enough personal information to wreak havoc on bank accounts and credit cards. Because of this, it may seem as if privacy has become a luxury item. One place in which privacy is of utmost importance is in recovery. Without respect for the confidentiality of all members, considerable personal and professional dam-age could be done. When you share with someone else the names of those who attend meetings or some of the things they admit to doing while they were using, it is not just a violation of one of the tenets of the program. It is an invasion of privacy. I will respect the privacy and private thoughts of others. ************************************************** ~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~ A hug is a perfect gift—one size fits all, and nobody minds if you exchange it. ~ Ivern Ball ~ In the past many of us may have feared physical expressions of friendship. A hug, a touch, or a friend's gentle nudge may have made us want to back away. Or we may have misinterpreted such expressions as overtures to more physical contact. All we knew is that those hugs or touches were confusing. When we came into the program we saw many people hugging or holding hands in the circle at the end of a meeting. We may even remember the first time someone hugged us; their arms encircled us as our arms lay stiff by our sides. "What can this person possibly mean by hugging me?" we may have thought. As time went on and we received more hugs, we realized they didn't hurt. It didn't mean someone wanted us sexually; it just meant somebody liked us and wanted to show us that. Pretty soon we started giving hugs instead of just receiving them. We learned to trust them and soon let ourselves feel the wonderful love that encircled us each time we were given one. I can give a hug to someone I care about. Maybe I can get a hug too! ************************************************** ~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~ Meditating In our old lives we were busy giving orders, making demands, and directing others. Now we find it is time to try to listen. Prayer is talking to your Higher Power; meditation is listening to your Higher Power. There are as many types of meditation as there are individuals. We find that daily meditation is vital to keeping perspective. Have I learned to meditate? I pray that I may learn to listen to my Higher Power so that I may be in harmony with the Higher Forces. Today I will listen to my Higher Power by meditating about God help me to stay clean and sober today! ************************************************** ~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~ Live and let live. ~ PROGRAM SLOGAN ~ Newcomer I saw some people in a public place recently who seemed "high." I reminded myself that what they were doing was none of my business. I didn't have to condemn them, and I didn't have to indulge in my own drug of choice in reaction to them. I can't say that I was completely tolerant, though; my first reaction was judgmental. Sponsor I still don't enjoy being around people who are active in their addictions; I avoid it, if possible. But sometimes it happens. Like you, I don't immediately think, "They're suffering from a disease"; instead, impatience and intolerance surface in me. At the end of certain meetings I go to, the speaker asks for a moment of silence "for all those who are still sick and suffering, both in and out of these rooms." This moment of focused attention reminds me that I can open to greater acceptance of others—and of myself "Live" is just as important a part of the slogan as "let live." When I'm not preoccupied with others, judging them, becoming obsessed with what I believe to be their difficulties, and trying to "fix" them, then I can embrace my own life with energy and enthusiasm. That's living! Today, I mind my business; I stay centered on the pursuits of my own soul. ************************************************** ~ THE EYE OPENER ~ Resolutions, like clay pigeons, are made to be broken. They are nearly always made in sincerity, but the very act of making a resolution is a confession on the part of the maker of his inability to keep it otherwise. As resolutions are contrary to the subconscious wishes of the maker, they are almost surely doomed from the start. If a person really wanted what he resolved, he would do it without the resolution, for we are prone to do those things that we really want to do. ************************************************** ~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~ Reconstruction Ahead My Creator, show me the way of patience, tolerance, kindness, and love. Help me to clean house and ask in my morning prayer and meditation for the energy for positive action. I have accepted the reality that there is a long period of reconstruction ahead. And yes, the spiritual life is not a theory; I have to live it. ~ Adapted from material in Alcoholics Anonymous, Fourth Edition, page 83 ~ ************************************************* ~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~ STAKE YOUR CLAIM In the gold rush days prospectors went out in the mountains in search of the yellow metal. Often the task was long and arduous with little to show for days of struggle and privation. But when a find was made, the prospector would stake his claim so that others would know that that particular discovery belonged to him. Of course, some claims turned out to be shallow veins of ore and worth little, while other claims eventually made their owners fabulously wealthy. In metaphysics, we often speak of claiming our good, and it is one of the surest ways of bringing the good we desire into our lives. If we want health, then we have to claim every day that divine Life brings well-being to every part of our body. If we want prosperity, then we claim every day that God is the giver of every good gift, ready to supply our every need. Whatever it is we wish to bring into our life, we stake our claim to it. Of course, we often claim negative things for ourselves without fully realizing it. Every time we say, "My cold," "My headache," "My indigestion," we are claiming those things for ourself. What one claims for himself he will eventually bring into his life. Affirm your divine kinship. All that the Father hath is ours—if we will stake our claim with God. . . . it is yow Father's good pleasure to give you the kingdom (Luke 12:32). ************************************************** ~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~ The Sigh It is our hearts that He asks of us. ~ Francois Fenelon ~ A cobbler told his rabbi, "Most of my customers are men who work every day and drop their boots off to me at night for repair. I often stay up all night to get their boots ready for them in the morning. Sometimes I am so tired that I do not say the morning prayer. Other times I just say it quickly so I will have time to work. Other times my heart just sighs, ‘How I wish I had the time and energy to say my prayer.’” The rabbi answered, "If I were God, I would value that sigh more than the prayer." Our love of God is not measured by the rituals we do or the forms we create, but by the intentions of our heart. We may lead a busy lifestyle, but if our soul I connected with Spirit, our daily activities become our communions. By contrast, there are people who go through rote prayers and rituals, but their minds and hearts are elsewhere. The great illusion of the world is that we are what we do. The great truth of Spirit is that we live from our heart or we do not live at all. Here is a benchmark by which you can assess the quality of your actions and make important decisions: What is your intention? lf you truly seek to serve and give love, you cannot fail. Throughout your day, say hello to God occasionally. Lovers call each other several times a day just to say hello. I used to call a girlfriend who had a pager. I would punch in the numbers equivalent to the letters, “I love you," or other romantic phrases she would decipher. Those brief messages were the highlights of our days when we were apart. Give God a heartfelt call every now and then, and your love affair with Spirit will bloom in the most wonderful ways. I pray to keep my heart open to You in the midst of all my activities. I am always connected with the God I love. |
October 25
Step by Step “God has abundantly supplied this world with fine doctors, psychologists and practitioners of various kinds. Do not hesitate to take your health problems to such persons. Most of them give freely of themselves, that their fellows may enjoy sound minds and bodies. Try to remember that though God has wrought miracles among us, we should never belittle a good doctor or psychiatrist. Their services are often indispensable in treating a newcomer and in following his case afterward.” – Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, Ch 9 (“The Family Afterward”), p 133. Today, let me not be discouraged even in sobriety if AA is not enough to treat my physical, emotional or spiritual sickness. But it was never intended. If clinical depression or bipolar disorder have been ever-present shadows in my life, for example, I may need medication to stabilize those conditions, and I should not and cannot feel let down if AA does not treat such maladies. AA instead is one of multiple therapies that I might require. As the program notes, alcohol is but a symptom of our underlying problems. And if those problems should be a medical or psychological condition that warrants medical treatment, quality sobriety will be elusive if we treat only the symptoms and leave the conditions unattended. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M. ************************************************** ~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~ MIRACLES The age of miracles is forever here. ~ Thomas Carlyle ~ Regardless of whatever addiction it was that sent us for help to the Program, we all refer to the big and small miracles of recovery that we experience. The chains of our addiction were so strong that we considered ourselves helpless and hopeless. We know that only a miracle saved our lives. There seemed no way out for us until we began to share experiences, strengths, and hopes with others who were in recovery, who were once as sick and desperate as we were. To live without our substance seemed impossible. Small wonder that we began to believe in personal miracles when we found abstinence. One of the miracles was being able to care and share with others. Another miracle made service easy and natural. Every moment I don't use is a miracle. That I believe in a Higher Power is a miracle. That I have forgiven myself and love others is a miracle. The age of miracles begins with recovery. ************************************************** ~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~ To become a father is not difficult, but to be a father is. ~ Anonymous ~ Many of us grew up with a gap in our hearts, a longing to know our father better, to have his time, his attention, and his love. Where was he? Why did he not get more involved with us? Was his work really that important? Did he really not think about us? Did he care but just not show it? Our father grew up with the same images of masculinity that we are dealing with: that we must keep a wall of toughness around us, that we must not show weakness or softness because someone might think less of us. Now, in our recovery and healing, we see that the unfilled yearning was part of our search that led us into problems with addiction and codependency. We were trying to satisfy our needs and soothe our pains, but without effective means. This healing journey includes making peace with our father or the memories we have of him. Today I will accept the pain of missing my father, and I will stand on his shoulders to become a stronger, more loving man. ************************************************** ~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~ As a woman, I may err. Just for today I will cherish my humanness. ~ Jan Pishok ~ Making mistakes is normal. We grew up in families where mistakes were common. Newspapers have typos, announcers mispronounce names, coworkers forget meetings, friends overlook birthdays, gas tanks run dry. So why do we think we must be perfect? Expecting more of ourselves than we do of others is common among women in recovery. We fear that if we’re not perfection personified, we’re not worthy! It may be that demanding parents and teachers helped instill this when we were young, but we don’t have to continue cultivating it. Yet we do continue. Fortunately, it’s never too late to change a habit, even one as ingrained as this. Giving ourselves permission to be human and imperfect relieves us of a terrible burden. Truly believing that no one else is perfect either makes the prospect more acceptable. Some of my actions will be errorless today, but many will fall short of perfection, just like everyone else’s. I am as okay as I need to be. ************************************************** ~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~ I have found a better way I never expected to have a problem with alcohol and other drugs. But in trying to cope with the problems in my life, it became all too easy for me to rely on such a dangerous "tool." At the time, I didn't know a better way. I only knew I was in deep distress and looking for relief. I just kept using the wrong rool. Since learning about addiction and mental health problems, I have found a better way to deal with my life and I am trying more useful tools to help me change. I'm using a psychiatrist to help me work on my medical problem. I'm using a counselor, a Twelve Step program, and a sponsor to help me work on my emotional and spiritual problems. It's still not easy, but at least I'm working with the right tools. I will read Step Two and thank my higher power for all my helpers. ************************************************* ~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~ It cannot be your duty to do anything you do not have time to do. ~ Emmett Fox ~ Running around trying to do everything for everyone can bring on an emotional collapse. When we act like a merry-go-round that never stops, we will finally run out of gas and break down, exhausted and worn out. Energy is a barometer we can use to measure balance in our lives. We get tired when we give to others without also nourishing ourselves. Frantic giving to others can numb us to our own pain and deafen us to our own cries for help. We tell ourselves, “I can put off resting a few more hours,” “I’ll take time for myself later,” or, “I can’t possibly take a vacation now.” We are the only ones who can choose to get off the merry-go-round and take a closer look at our living patterns. Pushing ourselves to the limit isn’t doing ourselves or those we love any favors. We must relax and take the time to recharge and when we do, life is a much smoother and more satisfying ride. One way to avoid exhaustion is to pray each day, stopping everything else and holding our lives up to our Higher Power. If we are out of balance, we will be shown. Often merely stopping to pray gives us the rest and refueling we need. Today let me take time for myself ************************************************** ~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~ Promises are like crying babies in a theater. They should be carried out at once. ~ Norman Vincent Peale ~ By putting down the drink or the drug, you have started I he process of becoming a promise-keeper. To help you with your promise, there are a number of tools in recovery, including the Promises of Alcoholics Anonymous. These are not guarantees but commitments that the program makes in support of your desire to stop using. To be a promise-keeper, you can adopt the following promises as the ones you make to yourself: • I will know a new freedom and a new happiness by staying clean and sober. • I will learn to treat others with kindness and respect. • I will be forgiving of myself. • I will help others in the fellowship and I will give to others. • I will devote time to meditation and personal reflection. • I will understand the word serenity and begin to find peace. • I will turn my life over to the care of a Higher Power. • I will see the world with new eyes. Today I promise to keep my promises. ************************************************** ~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~ Our weak and negative states leave us open to 'take on' outside prevailing conditions. . . . We are shaken with the wind and float with the current because we present the negative. ~ Henry Wood ~ A bad day usually begins badly. All it takes some, times is one thing to go wrong and we run to our battle stations for the rest of the day. Then it seems all that ever comes our way are more bad things. By the end of the day, we're glad it's over. But our day didn't have to go badly if only we had detached right from the start. Instead of believing we were victims of an unset alarm clock, a ripped shirt, unpressed pants, an angry partner, demanding children, or burnt toast, we could have accepted the upsets and let go of them. Life is so much better when we aren't drowning in the upsets around us. We don't have to absorb the antics of others or get caught up in the material and mechanical inconveniences. A sure sign of maturity is being able to accept an upset for a few minutes and then let it go. Tonight, I can let go of minor hassles and upsets and enjoy what lies ahead tomorrow. ************************************************** ~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~ Remembering well Do we remember how important preventive talk is for our fellowship and for our program? Drug-alogues and drunk-alogues are fine for getting to know each other in open meetings. But if we constantly sit around in social groups expounding on the “good times”—when we were abusing drugs and booze—what are we really doing? Are we trying to tell ourselves drugs are really beneficial? Are we trying to fit in where we don’t belong? Are we forgetting the pain and disaster? Are we ignoring the new beauty we have found? Preventive talk makes us aware of the tendency to expound on the “good old days.” Preventive talk is necessary to keep our heads straight. Do I remember the consequences well? Higher Power, when I am tempted to talk or think about the “good old days,” let me remember the "bad old days.” Today I will look back at God help me to stay clean and sober today! ************************************************** ~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~ In spite of everything, I still believe that people are really good at heart. Newcomer I get upset and discouraged about what's in the news. So much of it is about violence and tragedy, lying and competition. What's going on out there is so different from what I see at meetings. I wish that everyone had what we have. Sponsor Sometimes it does seem as if the world "out there" is on a binge of some kind. And addictions themselves, of all kinds, are still widespread and causing considerable damage. But what about the healing, the taking of responsibility, the turning around of lives? News of recovery, changes in consciousness, spiritual growth, and service is not what sells papers, but it is a real and vital part of what's happening in the world. Twelve Step recovery has been around for less than a century but its healing principles have entered the awareness and lives of millions of people around the world. When we think about what our individual lives were like before recovery and what fundamental changes we've been able to make in a short time, it gives us hope and a sense of what's possible. Today, I'm blessed with hope. I let change begin with me. ************************************************** ~ THE EYE OPENER ~ The greatest piece of self-deception on the part of the drinker is the actual belief that a drink will make him feel better. We got this illusion because alcohol in the blood stream and in the brain deadens the misery momentarily, but it also served to make us thirsty and so we continued the drinking and inevitably felt worse. Whisky will pick you up a foot or so but it drops you a hundred. What made you sick will never make you well. ************************************************** ~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~ Deep Peace May God shield you. May God bring you to the land of deep peace. Deep peace of the running wave to you, Deep peace of the flowing air to you, Deep peace of the quiet earth to you, Deep peace of the shining stars to you, Deep peace of the gentle night to you. Moon and stars pour their healing light on you Deep peace of God, the Light of the World, Deep peace of God. ~ Adapted from an ancient Celtic prayer ~ ************************************************* ~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~ HOW MUCH CAN GOD DO? The Bible tells us that God can heal us, that He can deliver us from our destructions, that He lifts up the weak, that He leads and guides us. But just how much can God do? Well, God can do almost anything. That may sound strange to those who have been taught that with God all things are possible. But there are some things that God cannot do, and it is fortunate for us that this is true. God is a God of love and rules by principle, and because this is so, He cannot change His nature. He cannot break divine law. He cannot bring disease, or suffering, or lack. He is always the loving Father, ready to hear and answer prayer. How much can God do? He can bring heaven here and now—not by breaking the law, which is impossible to God—but by fulfilling it. Open thou mine eyes, that I may behold wondrous things out of thy law (Psalm 119:18) ************************************************** ~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~ Clear Away What Isn’t Nothing real can be threatened. Nothing unreal exists. Herein lies the Peace of God. ~ A Course in Miracles ~ Michelangelo was asked how he sculpted the magnificent classic statue of David. "I looked into the stone and saw David. Then I simply cleared away everything that wasn't David." Our work in life is exactly the same. We do not have to create who we are; indeed, we have been created in utter perfection. We just need to discover what about our life is not who we are, and let it go. The great Indian sage Ramana Maharshi offered one straightforward path to enlightenment: Continually ask, "Who am I?" Sincere, consistent inquiry into this most important question will eventually reveal that many of the things we identify with, are not who we are. When all of our illusions are peeled away, only divinity remains. Who are you? You are not only your name, which could change. You are not a husband or wife only; your identity goes far beyond your relationship. You are not your bank account, which rises and falls. You are not your house, from which you come and go. You are not your job, which is temporary. You are not your emotions, which wax and wane. You are not your religion, which is a mutable belief system. You are not your body; some people have body parts removed, and they are still a whole person. You are not even your thoughts, which vacillate and turn in all directions. If you are not any of these things that you commonly identify with, who are you? We are spiritual beings, and any other identity detracts from the majesty of our true essence. Let go of false beliefs about yourself, that the true you may shine in all its splendor. Teach me who I truly am, that I may live my highest potential. I am Spirit. I am whole. |
October 26
Step by Step "Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings." - Step Seven Today, caution against being too eager to release my shortcomings or character defects without first laying the foundation of Steps Four, Five and Six. I cannot be honest about my defects without first taking the self-inventory of Step Four and then giving them voice by acknowledging them to myself, the god of my understanding and to another person as suggested in Step Five. And I certainly cannot ask for those defects to be removed if I am not willing to let them go, as suggested in Step Six. It has been heard in meetings that some people hold onto defects because they are not ready to let them go. But if those defects are a roadblock to the quality of recovery I seek, I have to be willing to release them. Today, I can "humbly ask Him to remove my shortcomings," but only after I have done the homework to let them go. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M. ************************************************** ~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~ IDENTIFICATION Identify, don't compare. ~ Anonymous ~ When we identify with another in recovery we bond with that person, and, in so doing, we pass on the message of recovery. When we compare our Program with that of another, we break the bond and become separated by an act of our own ego. We can't grow when we compare. The hope we all share in our Fellowship is that we will come to experience an honest acceptance of what life has to offer. We will never receive a report card grading our progress or a diploma for working the Steps. Taking our inventory is not the same as keeping score. We do not compare our Program with that of any other person. We only share our experiences to help another fellow traveler. We never try to put ourselves above anyone else through comparisons. Identifying with my fellow travelers helps us to help each other. Comparing my progress with theirs turns recovery into a competition nobody wins. ************************************************** ~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~ We didn’t lose the game; we just ran out of time. ~ Vince Lombardi ~ On a day when it seems like more things are going wrong than right, we may need to take a longer view. Today is just one day; this week is just one week on a long path. Certainly there are ups and downs on our path, and sometimes we just need more time. We can get lost in the details of the moment, when every way we turn seems to show us more frustration. That is when we can get relief by knowing that with more time, progress will be made—and things will look different. Even when we are trying our best and we still don’t see the evidence that our lives are getting better, we are actually laying the foundation of a better life. This program of recovery holds promises for us that will be fulfilled as long as we are willing to do the work. Today I will not be discouraged by the frustrations I face because I believe the promise that my life will continue to get better. ************************************************** ~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~ So often I have listened to everyone else’s truth and tried to make it mine. ~ Liane Cordes ~ Being different from others was so painful in our youth. We wanted to belong, to look like our friends, to think like them, to be like them in every way. We wanted them to share our dreams and opinions. Rather than risk that they wouldn’t, we mimicked them. Who were we? We seldom knew, because it depended on who we were with. That is still a problem for many of us. Fortunately, our friends in this recovery program do not expect us to share their opinions unless they fit us too. Listening to another woman’s truth honors her. Taking her truth as our own, when it isn’t, dishonors both of us. This program teaches us respect if we are willing students. To be praised, rather than judged, for our integrity, even when it means we are different, is a refreshing and humbling experience. I will listen to my truth today and respect everyone else’s too. I am not here to judge, but to honor and love. ************************************************** ~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~ My mental health is improving For some time before I hit bottom, I struggled to cope with stress and painful emotions. Drugs and alcohol did not help me. But I couldn’t admit any of this. To do so would have meant facing failure, feeling out of control, feeling "crazy"—even though I was doing the best I could, holding my life together on my own. Perhaps I was in denial about my dual illnesses. But through therapy, psychological education, and personal support, I am learning that mental health is a matter of degrees. I am learning about myself, and learning coping skills. I am putting my life back together, making it work even better than before. I will take five minutes to meditate on the ways I am OK. ************************************************** ~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~ Experiences are savings which a miser puts aside. Wisdom is an inheritance.... ~ Karl Kraus ~ One day a teacher placed a jar on his desk and a pile of rocks. He asked his students to fill the jar. When they were done, the teacher asked if the jar was filled. “Yes," the students replied. Then the teacher placed on his desk a bucket of small pebbles. “Please fill the jar with these,” he told them, and the students did so. “Now,” he asked, “is the jar full?" “Yes,” the students answered, but with hesitation. The teacher then placed a bucket of sand on his desk, “Please fill the jar with the sand,” he told them. The students placed a scoop of sand into the jar, which settled in between the rocks and pebbles. “Is the jar full?” the teacher asked. The students remained silent. So the teacher placed a bucket of water on his desk, and the students watched the teacher fill the jar with water. Your experiences can be seen as the rocks, pebbles, sand, and water. You use each at some point in your life to make decisions and expand your knowledge. Bui il is wisdom that enables you to see that all of your experiences, when placed together in unity, bring about the greatest understanding. Today I will draw from all of my experiences for greater wisdom ************************************************** ~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~ When nothing seems to help, I go and look at a stonecutter hammering away at his rock perhaps a hundred times without a much as a crack showing in it. Yet at the hundred and first blow it will split in two, and I know it was not that blow that did it—but all that had gone before. ~ Jacob Riis ~ Many times we may hear at a meeting that the length of time in the program isn't as important as the quality of the work we do. Someone with five years of recovery isn't necessarily healthier than someone with three years of recovery. No one accomplishes everything within a mere amount of time. The greatest achievements are the results of accumulated experience, maturity, and the application of healthy principles. Today is just a brief entry in our daily journals of recovery. What we do tonight may not draw all the loose ends of our lives together, but may tighten one or two a little more. Tomorrow holds great promise for us if we can see it as another page in our lives instead of as the whole book. Higher Power, help me forget my destination and remember instead the joy of journeying toward that place. ************************************************** ~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~ Avoiding greed Greed enslaves us to material things and diverts our values from the spiritual. As lust binds us to the animal plane, greed binds us to the material plane. We start to worship possessions. We begin to place love for the material before love for all living things or for our Higher Power. Greed can harden our conscience and become the greatest of slave drivers. As we work to be free from drugs, we must work to be free from greed or we will always be slaves. Greed will make us into liars, hypocrites, robbers, bribers, and extortionists. Living like that, we cannot stay clean and sober for long. Have I stopped being so materialistic? Higher Power, in your infinite mercy show me that material greed will only enslave me. Set me free. Today I will give the following material thing away God help me to stay clean and sober today! ************************************************** ~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~ My tidiness, and my untidiness, are full of regret and remorse and complex feelings. ~ NATALIA GINZBURG ~ Newcomer Even though I've done steps Four through Nine, my defects haven't all disappeared. Now that I've started doing Step Ten, just taking a few minutes once a day for a "spotcheck," what comes up isn't new. For the most part, it's stuff that I've had problems with for a long time. Am I ever going to change? Sponsor If you think about how much you've changed already, you'll get some idea of what an unstoppable process recovery is for those who stay committed to it. We may unconsciously cling to some of our defects because of positive things they do for us. Perhaps they keep us in familiar situations, protecting us from having to try new approaches. Perhaps they serve to ward other people off so that we don't have to face them. Perhaps we're hoping that we won't have to do anything ourselves to address our limiting characteristics-that somehow, in time, they'll just go away. We can think of our so-called defects as challenges. Our discomfort is a source of information: it reveals that there are things our Higher Power wants us to work through over time. Today, I let my daily inventory inform me of what I want to change. I make small changes today. ************************************************** ~ THE EYE OPENER ~ All men eventually die, it might he said that we live to die. The way we die is usually the way we live. Dying is the last thing we do on this earth, but certainly we do not live just to die. Living would not be worthwhile if that were so. The only worthwhile purpose of living is that those whose lives we come in contact with will be enriched thereby. If you live so that others will live more abundantly then you are performing the purpose of your little life. ************************************************** ~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~ Burden No Longer Lord, take away this ache in my heart. I know I have asked this of You before. This ache consumes my every waking moment, haunts my dreams, weakens my spirit. I pray You take this from me so the burden is no longer my own, but ours together. I have wasted enough energy and am ready to turn it over to You completely. I believe in You and Your will for me. ************************************************* ~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~ WHEN When your knees are knocking together, and you do not know which way to turn—think of God and His goodness. When prosperity seems out of the question—give thanks for God's abundance. When you want peace of mind—dwell upon the Presence of God. When your health is under par—speak the healing Word. When you need inspiration—browse through the Bible. When the situation seems to need a miracle—remember that nothing is too difficult for God, and that He is He is performing miracles every day. I will not fail thee, nor forsake thee (Joshua 1:5). ************************************************** ~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~ About Time Get over it. ~ from the song, “Get Over It,” by The Eagles ~ Ben Cohen and Shoshana Hadad had a rude awakening when the State of Israel told them their marriage was not legal because Shoshana's noble ancestor married a peasant—in 580 B.C. That’s a 2,5OO-year punishment! Have you been punishing yourself or someone else for something that happened a long time ago? Any payoff you perceive for hording a grudge is an illusion; there is no value, only a weighty price. A friend of mine in chiropractic school showed me a diagram of what happens to a human body in the throes of anger or rage. All kinds of chemicals are released into the system that exact a heavy toll on our health and vitality. A Course in Miracles tells us that true forgiveness is a “selective forgetting." our pain comes not from what happened to us in the past, but from holding on to painful memories. It is within our power to release the thoughts that trouble us. The course also reminds us, “I can elect to change thoughts that hurt." Jesus was asked, "How many times should we forgive—seven?” Jesus's answer was clear: "seventy times seven,” meaning just keep on letting go. We must remember that forgiveness is more of a gift to ourselves than to the person we are forgiving. Today, declare liberation day. open the prison door, and ret the war of fear end. Give me the willingness to let go. Let me perceive no value in holding hurtful thoughts. I want to be free. I release the past and get on with my life. |
October 27
Step by Step Today, understand that recovery gives us the freedom not to live within the confines of alcoholism and, instead, live in the boundless possibilities of sobriety. As a recovering alcoholic, I know – or at least, I better know – what I cannot do and, in trying to work toward or maintaining sobriety, I may be fighting what I cannot do. But in recovery, I am not confined by what I cannot do in alcoholism and any other “ism” and do not have to fight sobriety. As such, I need to understand the distinction between fighting not to drink and simply letting sobriety be. Today, I have the freedom to live not in the problem of alcoholism but living in the solution of simply not drinking. Today, I choose to live in the solution, not in the problem. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M. ************************************************** ~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~ PATIENCE How poor are they that have no patience. ~ Shakespeare ~ Patience is important to our growth and peace of mind. Without patience, we would have difficulty holding down anxiety, anger, envy, and unreasonable pride. Patience has often prevented disaster threatened by a loose tongue or an impulsive fist. Patience has taught us to stay cheerful in hard times, and to quickly forgive mistakes. Faith, peace, love, and humility all "study" in the school of patience. We learn patience from nature's careful maturing of crops. Baby chicks are born from letting eggs hatch, not by quickly smashing the shell. We are reminded that time is a faithful servant. When we set goals that we can reach and are patient with our progress, we save ourselves a lot of anxiety. Happiness is not having what we went, but wanting what we have. I need to be patient, but I don't have to "grin and bear it." I can accept reality, then take careful, positive action. ************************************************** ~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~ Those who are waiting are waiting very actively... The secret of waiting is the faith that the seed has been planted, that something has begun. A waiting person is someone who is present to the moment, who believes that this moment is the moment. ~ Henri Nouwen ~ We know that readiness is one of the important ingredients in change. We may have heard the same thing many times in the past, but one day, when someone says it again, we suddenly hear it with ready ears. At that moment, the familiar words hit their target and we understand a deep truth for the first time. In recovery, we don’t just sit around passively waiting. We actively examine ourselves and our conscience. We practice honesty. We make amends for our wrongs and seek conscious contact with a Higher Power. All these practices are ways to prepare ourselves to receive the gifts of recovery. Today, as I wait for the grace of God, I am actively opening myself to receive it. ************************************************** ~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~ Find everyday reasons to dance. ~ Elisabeth L. ~ Just being alive is reason enough to dance, if we ponder it for a moment. It’s not an accident that we lived through sometimes terrifying experiences. Nor is it accidental that we are in our current set- llng. We are needed by our friends, our family, even the strangers among us. Let’s cherish our opportunities to be in the presence of these others today. Our lives are akin to a ballet. While learning the steps, we may stumble a bit, but the dance needs us all. Let’s never assume another person isn’t necessary to our own performance. If she is here, we need her. How has this all happened? we wonder. How did I get here? Can I pull off my part? Our doubts need not hinder us if we remember that we got here with help; we’ll fulfill our role with the same ready help. I can kick up my heels today and know that I can dance. All I need to do is listen for the music. ************************************************** ~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~ I am exercising for my recovery Before I got into dual recovery I experienced numerous physical problems. For a long time I didn't know what was wrong. In a way, I didn't care. But now in recovery I care very much. Dual recovery teaches me that addiction and psychiatric illness are also physical diseases. Just as I pray and meditate to help with my spiritual symptoms, and just as I go to Step meetings and counseling to help with my emotional symptoms, so too will regular exercise help my body. This is my physical recovery. If I exercise regularly I will help repair any damage I've done and I'll be strong for each day's effort. Today I will come up with a brief, simple exercise routine I can do every day. ************************************************* ~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~ The weight of this sad time we must obey, Speak what we feel, not what we ought to say. ~ William Shakespeare ~ Letting others know how we feel is risky. There is a chance they won’t care or understand. In a Twelve Step program, however, this is unlikely. We go there to be healed and quickly learn that healing requires us to speak honestly about our pain. When our peers ask us to share our feelings they have a good reason. They know from personal experience that the most important action in recovery is to talk honestly about what has happened and is happening to us. To maintain our recovery, we need to stay honest with at least one person. Meetings give us a chance to talk honestly about our real selves — maybe for the first time. We soon realize that our fellowship is not standing in judgment, but is hurting along with us and feeling for us. They hear us and offer us their love and support. Honesty isn’t often easy at first, but it gets easier as we learn how comforting and strength-giving the rewards are. Today help me be honest with others. Help me share my pain that I may grow through it. ************************************************** ~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~ Self-pity is easily the most destructive of the non-pharmaceutical narcotics; it gives momentary pleasure and separates the victim from reality. ~ John W. Gardner ~ You may think that your problems are much greater than those of others. You may believe your feelings, wants, and needs are of greater importance. You insist on being heard at every meeting. You expect your sponsor to be readily available to you. I When your sponsor does not meet your needs or when [Others at the meeting cut you off, you are convinced such treatment is par for the course. You are tired of others treating you that way. So you cut ties with your sponsor and that fellowship. One day your new sponsor tells you that you are self-ish and self-centered, and adds, “Believe it or not, the World does not revolve around you.” But before you can reply your sponsor says, “You can ask someone else to be your sponsor. I’m cool with that. But I guarantee you, unless you get off your pity pot and realize there are other people besides you in this world, things will end up the lame way. Do you want to spend your time in recovery hiring and firing sponsors? Or would you like to learn how to give and receive help, support, comfort, and understanding? It’s your choice.” Today I will remember that I share the world with others. ************************************************** ~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~ I observe myself and so I come to know others. ~ Lao-tzu ~ If we could view a film of ourselves at the end of the day, we would see ourselves as others see us. We would notice our facial expressions and tone of voice and body language. We would be able to see our actions and reactions. We could study ourselves closely and learn so much more. How wonderful it would be if we could take an equally close view of those around us! Think of how much we could learn about those close to us if only we paid attention to their facial expressions, their tone of voice, and their body language. We would get to know them and understand them so much sooner if we only paid attention to them the way we sometimes pay attention to ourselves. If we observe ourselves, we will be able to understand the same actions and reactions in others. The mirror we place before ourselves is but a reflection of those around us. Can I take the time tonight to observe my actions? How can I use such insight to learn about other people? ************************************************** ~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~ Affecting those around us Addiction is not a lone disease; it is surrounded by people who play a part in keeping the cycle going. These people—usually family, peers, co-workers, and sometimes even therapists—experience offshoots of the disease. When a person gets stoned, those around him or her most likely react negatively. The addict reacts to their reaction by getting stoned again. So the downward cycle continues. We need to be aware that the loved ones around us may be in need of help also. They become a part of our illness and need a way out just as much as we do. Do I try to empathize with those close to me? Higher Power, may I not expect my abstinence to make the ones around me "shape up,” because they have been a part of my illness for a long, long time. Today I will examine my impact on those around me and God help me to stay clean and sober today! ************************************************** ~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~ Hell has three gates: lust, anger, and greed. ~ BHAGAVAD GITA ~ Newcomer I've really gotten into diet and exercise in a big way, and I'm spending a lot of time working out and preparing health food. I've started going to a weekly spiritual service, too, and getting involved with some community work. I feel as if I'm racing ahead in my recovery. Sponsor Each of these things sounds worthwhile, but the number of them and the demand you're making of yourself to "race ahead" make me wonder whether you can sustain so many activities at the same level without burning out. Take the areas of food and exercise, for example. Transforming the way we eat, becoming conscious consumers, is one of the most radical changes we can make. It involves a surrender, a sense that our Higher Power is in charge of the process of change, rather than a clenched effort to control. When we start thinking in terms of rapid weight change, rather than of a commitment to conscious eating and healthful, moderate meals, then we risk moving into obsession. Gentleness and moderation at the beginning of an exercise program or other demanding new endeavor is a more reliable route to consistent, long-term commitment than an overly demanding schedule we'll soon tire of, In recovery while we don't postpone dealing with obstacles to sober living, we don't have to rush to change every detail of our lives at once. We can take time to savor and enjoy new directions. Today, I don't treat my recovery as some kind of race; I remember "Easy does it"—but do it. ************************************************** ~ THE EYE OPENER ~ Gifts are usually given for favors already given or for favors expected. Even the sudden outburst of affection from friend wife, is frequently followed by a glowing description of a dress she saw downtown. The gift of AA is one exception. We give AA away because it is the only way we can keep it ourselves. ************************************************** ~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~ The Grace of God God’s grace is a gift. Grace is the love and generosity of God. Not until we felt defeated and made an active surrender were we open to this gift of help from our Higher Power. I pray to receive God's grace in its many forms. It is the hope we feel after a good night's rest, the good feelings we get attending our meetings. I pray to stop trying to control everything and to stop missing the many gifts of God's grace. The grace of God surrounds me even in difficult times. Returning to that message renews my strength. ~ Adapted from Touchstones, September 18 ~ ************************************************* ~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~ AN EXPERIMENT Try this experiment today. Select one particular thing in your life that is not going well and you wish to make right. Next consider the matter in the light of your knowledge of God and of prayer. Realize that this thing cannot remain inharmonious or negative once you know the Truth about it. Realize that you are now knowing the Truth and claim that the divine Power in you is now healing the condition completely and permanently. Then give thanks. Remember that praise and thanksgiving are the most powerful prayers of all. The next day, repeat your thanksgiving, until the answer comes. In between prayers you must keep your thought right concerning the problem. This is vital. All-day-long guiding of your thought cannot fail to bring your demonstration. My mediation of him shall be sweet: I will be glad in the Lord (Psalm 104:34). ************************************************** ~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~ No Mistake Doubt whom you will, but never yourself. ~ Christine Bovee ~ When I walked into the hotel room, my jaw dropped, and my eyes opened to saucer size. The room looked straight out of the Palace of Versailles—thick padded gold wallpaper, gold-leaf French colonial furniture, a separate sitting room, and ultra-plush decor. “There must be some mistake,” I thought, looking at my key. When I called my sponsor to double-check if her organization had se–lected such an elegant room for me, she answered, “Of course it’s for you! We appreciate you and want you to be comfortable.” Okay, I can live with this, I thought. If we believe we are unworthy, we will question or doubt our good when it comes to us. We will believe there is some hidden motive or catch, or we may fear that it will be snatched away as easily as it came. If we know our worth, we will attract and accept our blessings in a spirit of joy and celebration. We will see our experience as an affirmation that we live in an abundant universe, and delight in passing generosity along at our next opportunity. Today I will walk in the dignity in which You created me. Thank you, God, for all of Your treasures and blessings. I accept love in all forms. I allow an abundant universe to shower its gifts upon me. |
October 28
Step by Step Today, if I still hold onto emotions like resentment, anger, grief or bitterness and will not or cannot yet free myself of them, today I at least will not take on other feelings that I cannot handle. Recovery is partly about getting rid of the garbage and self-defeatism acquired before and during my drinking days; it is not about acquiring more of the same. In refusing to take on any more, I at least will have something less to work through and, in fact, might be able to take on what exists one feeling at a time. Today, my recovery will focus on getting rid of what needs to be gone and not on collecting more of what I do not need. All I need remember is to “Let Go and Let God,” and not take back that of which I let go. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M. ************************************************** ~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~ STINKING THINKING I affirm life; I challenge problems; I accept responsibility; I believe in God; I live today. ~ Elizabeth Lamb ~ It's not good looks, a charming personality, or brain power that keeps us in recovery. It's our attitude that makes the difference. Our disease is characterized by the reality of relapse. Most relapses come from a bad attitude. In the Fellowship, we call that stinking thinking. Attitudes lead us toward a healthy and happy recovery or into relapse. It's our choice. When our attitudes are bad, we "talk the talk, but don't walk the walk." We tell people what they want to hear, but we really don't believe what we're saying. We act grandiose. We think we don't need to follow all the principles and disciplines of the Program. Stinking thinkers keep their minds closed. They are defensive and blame others for their problems. Having a bad attitude doesn't always lead to relapse, but it's like putting one foot out the door. When my thinking starts to stink, I check my commitment to my recovery and remember I am responsible for the attitudes I choose. ************************************************** ~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~ Men can’t always do what a man’s gotta do to feel like a man and still do what a man’s gotta do to be a man. ~ Frank Pittman ~ In this program, we are living a little bit outside of the mainstream. We are more focused on being the real thing than on appearances. In the popular image, a real man is self-sufficient, strong, invulnerable, able to withstand any challenge and go it alone. Playing that role might make us feel like a man, but we are still left with insecurities because we know that inside we are just putting up a front. To be a man, we are stronger when we are big enough to accept our weaknesses and make no excuses for them. Of course, we don’t have to bare our souls to everyone. But we develop genuine, trusting friendships and we are honest with ourselves and with trusted friends. We show love to our loved ones. We may have been taught that being vulnerable makes us not masculine. But we are amazed to find that we are more approachable and more interesting when we are genuine. Today I accept my vulnerabilities and my loving feelings and allow my trusted friends to know me as I am. ************************************************** ~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~ There is magic in our souls. The adventure of recovery is finding that magic and allowing it to come forth. ~ Dudley Martineau ~ Our lives are so different now that we are in recovery. The smallest problems used to plague us. Seldom did we know how to handle even minor conflicts. Our confidence waned. Faith was even more remote. Now our lives seem magical at times. How profoundly different each day, each experience looks to us now. But where has the magic come from? How can a simple program with only a suggested set of guide-lines change everything about our lives? Reading words like these, going to meetings, seeking the counsel of a sponsor on a regular basis, and making the Twelve Steps central to our lives is all the effort it takes. We discover that nothing overwhelms us anymore. And we have guardian angels who will direct every action if we so choose. There’s the magic. I will let the magic of this program work for me today. I won’t be at a loss when I must come to any decision today. ************************************************** ~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~ I am letting go of blame My first response to my dual disorder was to ignore it. Then I didn’t believe it. Then I denied it. As I came to see that I couldn’t just wish it away, I looked for a scapegoat. If I had to suffer, someone or something was at fault. One by one, I blamed my illnesses on parents, family, job, god, bad luck-but mostly, and most hurtfully, I blamed them on myself. But now, with a period of sobriety and stability, I see how little it matters who or what is to blame. What I experience are two no-fault biological illnesses. What I am learning in my journey is that the more energy I concentrate on recovery, the healthier and happier I'll be. I will pray to release myself (and others) from blame. ************************************************* ~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~ A little neglect may breed great mischief. ~ Benjamin Franklin ~ Some of us neglected our families during active addiction. Our pain was so great that we had nothing left to offer others. We retreated into our own world, leaving our families wondering where we had gone. We may have neglected our families financially, too, spending everything we had to feed our addiction. We may find it easy to fall into the same pattern again, neglecting our families as we pursue recovery. We must find a balance between our own needs and the needs of our families. Our recovery must come first, but it should never be the only priority in our new lives. Financial stability is important, but we need to spend time with those we love. Asking our families how they feel, and listening carefully to them, can help us regain our balance. Talking to them openly can help heal old wounds and misunderstandings. We don’t do this until we are ready, but when we are, it is an important and loving part of our recovery, and the recovery of our family. Today help me recover my balance. Help me be compassionate toward the needs of my family. ************************************************** ~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~ To be a leader, you have to make people want to follow you, and nobody wants to follow someone who doesn’t know where he is going. ~ Joe Namath ~ There are two components to sponsorship: finding a sponsor and being one. It is recommended that new-comers get a sponsor during the first month of sobriety, If you are unsure who to ask, ask others if they would recommend someone for you. To be a good sponsor, you need to be able to provide insight about the Steps and the philosophy and purpose of the program. If you have worked through the Steps with your own sponsor, then you will be familiar with the process and serve as a good guide when the person you are sponsoring begins Step work. It is important for you to be available to attend some meetings with the person you are sponsoring. Also, understand that you may receive late-night phone calls, By the same token, set boundaries so you are able to pay attention to your own sobriety and so the person you are sponsoring does not become overly dependent upon you, Provide encouragement so the person you are sponsoring speaks at meetings, shares with others, and develops a relationship with a Higher Power. One of the greatest tools of the program is having a sponsor or being one. ************************************************** ~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~ Tears may linger at nightfall, but joy comes in the morning. Carefree as I was, I had said, 'I can never be shaken.' But, Lord, it was Thy will to shake my mountain refuge. . . . ~ from Psalm 30 ~ A great force has shaken us from our caves of isolation. We may have first felt this force at our first meeting. Somehow, we knew we had made the right choice. We belonged. We next felt this force during a time of incredible need and fear. We may have wanted to run to the farthest reaches of our caves, but once again we felt something telling us to stay vulnerable and remain exposed. We may then have fallen to our knees or simply closed our eyes and silently asked for help. Our prayers have been answered. Today we know we always have that cave to run into, but we seem to need it less. The great force that shook us from our refuge also gave us refuge. Tonight—as always—we are safe and secure as we stand exposed to the world. There is a great force in my life who has saved me from isolation, desolation, and despair. I feel wonderful because of this! ************************************************** ~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~ Harmonizing conflicts Our doubts and conflicts are strong reminders that we are not living harmoniously with our Higher Power’s will for us. These conflicts grow out of our own attempt to give meaning and significance to our lives, rather than letting our Higher Power fill our lives with meaning and significance. Our own meaning is usually based on ego, money, and pleasure. The meaning we desire comes through love, patience, and kindness, practices we often resist. If we lived according to our Higher Power’s will, doubts and conflicts would not exist. We have gauges to measure our conscious contact. Harmony in our lives means we are working with our Higher Power. Conflict in our lives means we are straying from our Higher Power. Is my life full of harmony? Higher Power, keep me on course; keep me from drifting away from your will for me today. I will peacefully work at resolving the following conflict today by God help me to stay clean and sober today! ************************************************** ~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~ Nothing is more difficult than competing with a myth. ~ FRANQOISE GIROUD ~ Newcomer I've been spending time with someone I have a lot in common with. We've spent the last several weekends doing things together; I assumed that I could count on company for a weekend outing that's coming up. Now it tums out that my friend isn't willing to go. I'm really upset; I guess I'm overreacting, but my first thought was that this isn't much of a relationship if I'm going to end up by myself on a weekend. Sponsor It sounds as if you have a solid basis for a continuing connection with this person, and that you've reached one of those bumps in the road that occur in all relationships between real human beings. Differences are a part of life; conflicting wishes often have to be negotiated. Many of us approach both friendship and romance with mythical notions of perfection. When the myth is challenged, we may be tempted to leave and find a "better" partnership, without attempting to resolve the problem. Anger, loneliness, and pain occur in good relationship, relationships that are worth keeping and working on. Sometimes what we've believed to be a relationship problem is instead a problem within ourselves. Exploring these questions usually involves experiencing some discomfort. It's part of any growth process. Today, I don't expect one person to meet all of my needs, all of the time. I accept that relationships worth keeping have their imperfections and limitations. ************************************************** ~ THE EYE OPENER ~ Carrying your own troubles may be likened to a man trying to pick up a board that he is standing on. He has his own weight to contend with as well as the weight of the board. It is much easier to carry the other man's burdens for we are standing away from the problem. We can view the problem impersonally and thoughtfully. We can show him where he is standing in his own way, direct him to take hold of his end of the problem and allow us to lift the other end. The weight, distributed between the two of us, will become relatively easy to handle. ************************************************** ~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~ A New Freedom and Happiness Dear God, I remember the days that were controlled by my desires. The constant need to bow to the demands of my addiction. It made all decisions for me. There was a false freedom and a small bit of happiness. Thank You, God, for helping me work the first nine Steps of our Program. I am no longer a slave to my addictions. Freedom has come with abstinence, so has joy, gratitude, and love for others and myself. I have more work to do. God help me on my journey. ************************************************* ~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~ SHACK OR PALACE? There is no use in merely saying everything will be all right. Thinking rightly, of course, means putting God into all your affairs and expecting him to change them. For example, if you are living in a shack it is not any good pretending that it is a palace. Cheap optimism is never spiritual. Realize that you are living in a shack, but claim the Presence of God to guide you to something better. Teach me thy way, O Lord, and lead me in a plain path. . . (Psalm 27:71). ************************************************** ~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~ Walking the Talk The louder he talked of his honor the faster we counted out spoons. ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson ~ At a spiritual conference, a sum of money was stolen from the table of one of the vendors. The fellow became angry and sought to lay blame. When the theft was announced to find out if anyone in the large audience had any information, silence ruled. Then a speaker named Carolyn raised her hand and suggested, “I would be willing to auction off a counseling appointment and donate the money to the man who lost his income. Who will make the first bid? ” By the time the bidding was done, the auction yielded an income of more than twice the woman’s regular fee, which equaled the amount the vendor had lost. I was inspired by Carolyn’s willingness to help; it showed me that she is willing to live what she teaches. Such integrity is a magnificent demonstration that the spiritual path is only as real as we are willing to live it. Many of us talk a good game, but how many of us put it into action? Lao-Tse noted, “He who says, does not know. He who knows, does not say. ” We do not need to talk a lot about what we are doing; we just need to do it. When we talk too much, we dissipate the energy we could be putting into action. Words, although potentially powerful, are the least reliable index of who we are and what we believe. Emerson noted, “What you are speaks to me so powerfully that I can hardly hear what you are saying.” We can lie with words, but not with our being. We can fool ourselves and others with rhetoric, but only actions reveal who and what we really are. I pray to live what I believe. Help my action match my words. My deeds reflect my soul’s truth. I am integrated in thought, word, and action. |
October 29
Step by Step ” …(A) terrible thing happened. I ran out of people! Even my family didn’t have much use for me. When they saw me coming, they locked up the silverware and everything else of value. I felt very lonely and hurt, because nobody understood me. I felt very sorry for myself and attempted suicide on many occasions, making sure there was always somebody within reaching distance to see that I didn’t finish the job. Any time I tried to kill myself, I was either drunk or pilled up or both …” – Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, “They Lost Nearly All,” Ch 4 (“Belle of the Bar”), pp 478-79. Today: ” I ran out of people, ” …nobody understood me,” “I felt very sorry for myself.” What once was my prescription for life now sounds pathetic. I refused or couldn’t understand anyone else because I was too self-absorbed. I felt sorry for myself because I had nothing to give or even offer anyone else. And I ran out of people because I drove them away with my expectations that they make my wants and needs their total focus. As we sober up, we recover. As we recover, we see what we allowed our addictions to do to us and, in the end, what they did made us pathetic souls. In sobriety, I have no use, no excuse, no need and don’t want to be that pathetic creature who expects to be the focus of everyone else’s attention and, when I’m not, lash out in self-righteous indignation. I am not perfect in sobriety, but I don’t have to be and I’m grateful to say I’m not the pathetic self-seeker I once was. So it goes for progress in recovery. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M. ************************************************** ~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~ A SWELLED HEAD The true snob never rests; there is always a higher goal to attain, and there are, by the same token, always more and more people to look down upon. ~ Russell Lynes ~ Recovery feels good! It feels good to get a good night's sleep, eat right, have friends, and be more at peace. After a while on the Program our foggy minds cleared up. We could actually read and remember what we read. Our emotions calmed down. We felt proud of our progress. At moments like these we must remember by whose Power we achieve such joy. It is not our own. If we let ourselves think we did it all on our own, pride swells our head and stops our growth. We can become cocky, thinking we've got it made, and drift back to slippery people and places. A swelled head has no place in my Program. I must keep in mind that I didn't get this far to rest and stop growing. ************************************************** ~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~ The tragedy of life is what dies inside a man while he lives. ~ Albert Schweitzer ~ It is possible to be spiritually dead while walking around, living and breathing. Many of us have been there. We lost our way. Our hearts and our self-respect were dissolved by alcohol or chemicals and we became so involved in controlling others that we completely lost contact with the soul at our core. But even at that low ebb, some small glowing ember of spirit remained. In recovery, the hot embers have been fanned back to life. We may sense that we still have a long way to go, but even that feeling rises from a live spirit within us. It’s never a matter of how well developed our spirituality is, but whether we are in touch with it or not. Once we begin to have a relationship with our soul, with our Higher Power, we are alive at our core. Today I am grateful for the spiritual life I am leading. ************************************************** ~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~ Clarifying my own values is an important ingredient in my using the Serenity Prayer. From that I have the “wisdom to know” the things I can and cannot change about a situation. ~ Rose Casey ~ This program helps us discover our values. Doing a moral inventory and then weighing our assets and shortcomings gives us clarity regarding the person we are and the person we hope to become. Let’s not be concerned that we didn’t know ourselves before. The past is past; today is where our opportunities begin. Today will offer us a host of experiences about which we must make decisions, form judgments, take actions. If we know our values, we will not be troubled by these experiences. And yet living according to our values takes practice. We were probably good at doing what others did to fit in. Taking the risk of not fitting in is a profound decision that can benefit us in untold ways. My values will guide me as I decide what to do in every situation I face today. Without this program, I’d still be in constant quandaries. ************************************************** ~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~ I feel better when I stay active I remember one day when I first felt deeply depressed. I was sitting in a chair, overwhelmed and unsure how to cope. I sensed my dark thoughts getting darker. Eventually I could hardly move, hardly think. I felt paralyzed. These days as I look back, I'm actually grateful for that experience—not because I enjoyed it, but because it still teaches me what to avoid. I now see that depressive symptoms are a signal for me to get active. I've learned that painful thoughts slow me down and that inactivity reinforces the pain. Action, however, helps keep my mind clear and gives me energy. To avoid getting bogged down in painful thoughts, I need to be physically active on a regular basis. Today I will be physically active for twenty minutes. ************************************************* ~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~ Learning to laugh makes the universe fall away. ~ Kay Caskey ~ Laughter gives us a different perspective. It is the great healer of spirits and hearts and it dissolves barriers between ourselves and others. When we laugh with another human being we build bridges instead of walls. Laughter helps us close the distance in our relationships. Laughter relaxes us from the ground up. Sometimes it is only after a good laugh that we realize how much tension we were carrying. It’s like putting down a heavy load and sighing with relief at how light we feel. Laughter even strengthens our immune system and promotes healing. It boosts our self-esteem and emotional well-being. Laughter is a true friend. Sometimes we forget to invite it into daily life, but we delight in welcoming it back. Today let me realize the healing qualities of laughter in my life. ************************************************** ~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~ God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference. ~ Reinhold Niebuhr, from “The Serenity Prayer” ~ The Serenity Prayer has become both a staple and one of the most powerful tools of the recovery program. The first phrase lets you understand that God, a Higher Power, or your personal concept of a greater presence is available to you. It applies the word serenity to the process of accepting the things you cannot change in your life. The second phrase uses the word courage as it advises you to think about what you can change in your life. The third phrase provides the word wisdom in reference to the knowledge you gain by learning how to differentiate between what you are capable of changing and those things you cannot change. The Serenity Prayer can provide guidance and support In other areas of life. If you are having a difficult time in your job, with your family, or in any other area in which you feel helpless or stuck, say the Serenity Prayer. Listen to the meaning contained within each phrase so you can learn how to let go of the people, places, and things you | cannot change and focus instead on the actions you can take to effect positive change in yourself. I will use the Serenity Prayer whenever I need guidance. ************************************************** ~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~ Call on God, but row away from the rocks. ~ Indian proverb ~ Wouldn't it be foolish if we sat in our room tonight and moaned about how dark it is? All we would have to do is reach over and turn on the light. Yet aren't there times when we call on God to help us when we can really help ourselves? Establishing a conscious contact with our Higher Power doesn't mean we're going to build a dependency on this Power. This Being doesn't exist for us to make request after request for things we can do ourselves. It's okay to ask for God's safety and guidance in the midst of difficult situations, but it's up to us to take the initiative for our own safety and well-being. Whenever we need guidance, safety, security, peace, and strength, we can certainly call on our Higher Power. But let's make sure we take responsibility when it’s needed. God works through us, not for us. What can I take responsibility for in my life tonight? Help me help myself. ************************************************** ~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~ Thirteenth-Stepping Thirteenth-Stepping is the act of moving too fast too soon, confusing lust for love. Some recovering addicts latch on to a newcomer in the fellowship, attempting to fulfill their own sexual desires. This has been called Thirteenth-Stepping. Newcomers—who are feeling ashamed, helpless, and lonely—are only too glad to grab on to someone for a little security. But newcomers need, above all, to learn to stay clean and sober. To Thirteenth-Step a person only makes one concentrate on the relationship rather than on the program. Do I know how to Twelfth-Step without getting too involved? Higher Power, help me to stop with the Twelfth Step. Today I will look at my sexuality and God help me to stay clean and sober today! ************************************************** ~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~ Never bend your head. Always hold it high. Look the world straight in the face. ~ HELEN KELLER ~ Newcomer Sometimes I still feel shame about having this addiction. It comes up when I'm with nonprogram friends and have to go to a meeting. It comes up when a relative says, "you mean you're still going to those meetings?" Sponsor The stigma attached to having an addiction has lessened because of widespread awareness of Twelve Step recovery programs and an understanding of heredity and the "disease concept" of addiction. While there may still be some who believe that addiction is a moral deficiency that willpower can eliminate, most of us who are in programs of recovery have let go of this incorrect belief. Though guilt and shame are often experienced together, they are different. We feel guilty about an incident or behavior; the process of acknowledgment and amends addresses guilt for things we wish we hadn't done. Shame is an attitude we have toward some aspect of ourselves. Few of us are entirely without it. Shaming others is one way that people try to cope with their own shame. I'm glad that you can talk about this lingering problem. Bringing shame out of darkness, sharing about it in appropriate ways with those we trust, is the path toward healing and freeing ourselves from it. Today, I face my old feelings of shame. I'm worthy of love and acceptance just as I am. ************************************************** ~ THE EYE OPENER ~ We human beings are no more miraculous than the ape organically. We do not even have some powers possessed by brute creation—for example, we cannot change color at will as can some reptiles. We can't change our physical make-up as the tadpole does when it becomes a frog, or a caterpillar when it changes into a butterfly. Yet we are the miracle of all miracles, for we alone have a soul, which enables us to transcend this planet and commune with God himself. ************************************************** ~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~ We Will Not Regret the Past My Creator, by cleaning house and taking my inventory I have been able to honestly face myself and stop hiding from the world and myself. I am learning what kind of person I am. This is necessary for maintaining abstinence and preventing a slip. Without awareness of what the past did to me, I cannot truly carry the message of hope and the gift of recovery to those who desperately need it. God, I pray to visit my past but never live in it for long. ************************************************* ~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~ PRAYING WITH A FEATHER Years ago many devoted preachers and Sunday School teachers were fond of telling people to "pray hard." Well-meaning as this advice was, it was mistaken. I often tell people to pray "soft," which, of course, means gently. I do this because I know that the more quietly and gently we pray, the better results we get. In prayer, as in many other activities, effort defeats itself. More than once I have said to my congregation, "Pray with a feather—not with a pickax." Always pray gently, and especially if you have a good deal of fear, or if your difficulty seems to be a very important one. For thou , Lord , art good , and ready to forgive; and plenteous in mercy unto all them that call upon thee (Psalm 86:5). ************************************************** ~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~ Spit It Out Truth is always straightforward. ~ Sophocles ~ Ben sat his eight-year-old daughter down to tell her that he and her mommy were getting divorced. He stammered and hedged for a few minutes, until the little girl finally blurted out, “Come on, Daddy, what are you—chicken? Why don’t you just spit it out? ” Children usually know the truth before we tell them. In their innocence and openness, their antennae are up, and they see things we believe we can keep concealed. Children exemplify a faculty we all have. Everyone is psychic, and everyone always knows what is going on. In your conscious mind, you may be asleep, but subconsciously you know the truth. There is a book entitled To Be Alive Is to Be Psychic. Many of us were quite psy–chic as children, but when our parents reprimanded us for talking about our intuitions, premonitions, or invisible playmates, we quickly learned to shut down and play dumb. Lies are perpetuated only when both parties agree to the lie. If someone lies to you, a place in you knows that what you have heard is untrue. If you do not confront the lie, it is because you have some investment in keeping the lie going. If more of us would own our ability to know the truth and tell it, the world would be quickly transformed. Practice telling the truth and calling others to tell the truth. If you see something that is not in integrity, shine the light on it. If you have something to say, imagine that the person you are going to address already knows it on some level. So do we come closer to living our true nature as omniscient beings. Give me the courage to speak the truth I know. Support me as I claim my higher knowing. The truth is my friend. Integrity empowers me to succeed. |
October 30
Step by Step “Men and women drink essentially because they like the effect produced by alcohol. The sensation is so elusive that, while they admit it is injurious, they cannot after a time differentiate the true from the false. To them, their alcoholic life seems the only normal one. They are restless, irritable and discontented, unless they can again experience the sense of ease and comfort which comes at once by taking a few drinks – drinking which they see others taking with impunity. After they have succumbed to the desire again, as so many do, and the phenomenon of craving develops, they pass through the well-known stages of a spree, emerging remorseful, with a firm resolution not to drink again. This is repeated over and over, and unless this person can experience an entire psychic change, there is very little hope of his recovery.” – Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, “The Doctor’s Opinion,” pp xxvi-vii. Today, if I cannot forget “the effect” of alcohol as I grew progressively drunker, let me never forget the morning after with its consequences, none of which I care to be responsible for anymore. If I can remember the morning-after costs and that they were my “bottom,” may they be potent enough to remove any desire to drink again because, should I drink again, there likely will be no a deeper bottom – if I survive. I abused that “firm resolution” not to drink again when I was hung over, or standing in front of a judge with my latest DUI or after I broke every promise I’d made to family and friends. A “firm resolution” is so easy then. It can be just as easy if I apply it to being sober – if I remember the consequence instead of “the effect.” Today, I don’t need or want to remember the effect: the consequences are enough. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M. ************************************************** ~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~ SELF-CONFIDENCE Alas, the fearful disbelief is disbelief in yourself. ~ Thomas Carlyle ~ Self-confidence is an important lesson we learn in our recovery. Most of us start our Program with little confidence in ourselves. As we work the Steps, we begin to be confident that we can be whatever we choose to be, if we want success enough and if we keep on growing. When we have no faith in ourselves, we have little chance of staying abstinent. Even the miracles of recovery cannot accomplish a better way of living if we don't believe they can. The more we share with fellow members, the greater will be our self-confidence that success is possible. In order to have and maintain self-confidence, and feel good mentally and physically, we need to keep our heads screwed on straight with clear and rational thinking. I can be whoever I make myself believe I can. ************************************************** ~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~ Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves. ~ Carl Jung ~ In our worst times, we have been irritable and difficult to live with. That is common among addicts and codependent people. And when we feel most irritable, we are least likely to look at ourselves. It is very useful now, in recovery, when someone irritates us, to ask what inside ourselves makes us so annoyed. We often find that the very thing that irritates us about someone else is the very quality in ourselves that we don’t want to face. When another man’s whining bugs us, maybe it is our own capacity for whining that we reject. When someone’s self-absorption gets under our skin, maybe we are sensitive about our own self-centeredness. Some-times we find it easier to complain about a quality in others than to admit we are like that too. Today I will use my feelings of irritation to guide me inward and know myself better. ************************************************** ~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~ It is time to enter into knots of fear and watch them uncurl into waves of love. ~ G. Carol ~ The fear that hinders most of us is due to our obsession to control the behavior of others. This fear, coupled with our compulsion to manage outcomes that are clearly beyond our control, keeps us stuck in situations that we need to grow beyond. We’re extremely fortunate to be part of this fellowship because we are surrounded by friends who understand our kind of fear and are willing to help us through scary times. We will have the opportunity to repay the favor many times over. We are all learning to handle fear and, thus, are discovering together that the risks we take in the company of one another prepare us for bigger challenges on our own. The empowerment that is guaranteed us will sustain our efforts as we take each new risk. With the help of friends, I can feel my fears and keep them in perspective. I will be able to feel more love when I let the fears go. ************************************************** ~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~ I need structure in my life As my dual disorder got worse, my life came apart. Addiction changed my patterns of sleep; it even changed my priorities in life. With the depression that followed, I lost interest in taking care of myself. Eventually I lost most interest in my life. But the daily routines of treatment helped. They showed me how putting structure back in to my life supports recovery. With the help of my counselors I worked out a recovery plan. Each day I set aside time to take care of my physical, emotional, and spiritual needs—my body, heart, and soul. Each day's plan is a little different, but all cover the basics I need to stay on track. I look forward to the benefits of structure. I will follow my plan closely to stabilize my life and strengthen my recovery. ************************************************* ~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~ My forgiveness may not mean anything to you, but it means everything to me. ~ Pat V. ~ Forgiveness of others is necessary to our wellbeing, too. If we don’t forgive, we are the ones who carry the pain, not those we resent. Our recovery program depends on our ability to let go of anger, resentment, and hurt. So our lives depend on being able to forgive others, even if it means nothing to them. We’ve all known people who cling to old anger and old sorrow, hoarding pain the way a miser hoards gold. There are people in middle age who still willingly hate their parents for things that happened in childhood, who stubbornly refuse to try to forgive the past. These people are doomed to live in it. Some of us fear forgiveness means opening ourselves up to pain again, or that it means we have to let them hurt us anew. That’s not true. We can forgive someone and still know they are dangerous to us or to our recovery. We can forgive someone and walk away, never to look back. But with forgiveness we let go of the anger, and with it the hurt. When we forgive, we are no longer victims. Today help me let go of anger and resentment. ************************************************** ~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~ Nothing sets a person up more than having something turn out just the way it’s supposed to be. . . ~ Claud Cockburn ~ Perhaps you know the story of the old man who saw hundreds of starfish littering a shoreline, exposed to sunshine by the low tide, and a child who was gently tossing the starfish—one by one—back into the water, “How can you possibly make a difference to these star-fish?” asked the man. “There are too many.” The child looked at the starfish she was holding and said, “It makes a difference to this one.” Another story, passed down from the Aztecs, provides a similar illustration of how one small effort can make a difference. A great fire raged in the forests that covered the earth. Terrified, people and animals began to flee. As an owl was winging out of harm’s way, it saw a tiny bird dart to a river, dip its beak into the water, and rush back toward the flames. There the bird opened its beak, released a few drops of water on the fire, and rushed back to the river. “What are you doing?” cried the owl. The bird replied, “I am doing the best I can with what I have.” The owl then summoned all of the people and animals to the river. Together, they put out the fire. Small favors and simple actions can bring about great change. ************************************************** ~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~ One cannot step twice in the same river, for fresh waters are forever flowing around us. ~ Heraclitus~ Do we sometimes feel bored with our lives? Do we feel like we're doing the same things, following the same schedules, working to get out of the same rut we've been trying to change for a long time? Do we wish to make changes, but don't know where to start? Imagine living in front of a wide, picturesque river. In the living room of the house is a spacious window that allows a magnificent view of the river. Every day we might see this same scene and believe it is never-changing. But in reality, it is ever-changing. Each day we see with new eyes. And each day nature astounds us with newness and growth. That water we're watching flow by today isn't the same water we saw yesterday. A stick thrown into the water yesterday is far downstream today. We can see this river in two ways: stagnant or flowing. So too can we see our lives. Tonight I can look at my life as if it were a river, always changing as it flows. ************************************************** ~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~ Following directions At times we are so squirrelly nothing seems to make much sense. This is not an unusual predicament for people who abuse drugs. At times like these we’re better off following the advice of other recovering addicts, whether it seems to make sense or not. We have proved that our judgment is not what it could be. We have nothing to lose by following directions from those who love us and have experienced our behaviors. When confused, we must decide to take our bodies to meetings. Our heads will follow. Am I receptive to the healthy suggestions of others? Higher Power, may I learn to turn to others for guidance when I know my own head is shot! Today I will seek help from God help me to stay clean and sober today! ************************************************** ~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~ I used to trouble about what life was for. Now being alive seems sufficient reason. ~ JOANNA FIELD ~ Newcomer I keep hearing, "This is a family disease," but I'm not sure I accept the idea that I've inherited it. I know people in this program whose parents and other close relatives don't have it. Sponsor Addiction doesn't have to affect every member of every generation of a family the same way to support the idea that it has a powerful effect on the family. Whether or not we believe that biology is where addiction starts, we can see that addictive behavior and coaddictive reactions are often learned in families. Whether a grandparent, parent, sibling, aunt, or cousin is dependent on a substance or compulsive behavior, his or her addiction has an impact on everyone else in the family system. The family is like a spiderweb: if we tug on any one part of it, the entire web vibrates. We don't have to ask why we have this disease. Instead, we can concentrate on developing the habits of recovery. We accept that we must replace our old addictive habits with healthful ones. Today, I focus on living in the present. Learning how to have a rich recovery is more important than wondering why I need this program. ************************************************** ~ THE EYE OPENER ~ Each and every one of us have what we have only by the Grace of God. Even if we acquired all our possessions through our own industry and intelligence, still you must admit that you gave yourself none of these attributes that made your acquisition possible. These were not necessarily inherited traits, for geniuses have had morons for children. You have what you have because God so willed it, so use them as God would will it. ************************************************** ~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~ Security and Peace As I have entered the Realm of Spirit, after shaking the bondage of addiction through the love, encouragement, deep concern, and help from newfound friends, I've begun to know what serenity feels like. Peace of mind is new to me. Serenity becomes refreshing and comfortable as I realize I am free and able to make sound choices for my life. That climate encourages serenity and peace. God, help me to grow toward maturity, serenity, and peace of mind. ************************************************* ~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~ TAIL WAGS DOG Man controls his own life. The Bible says that God has given him "dominion over all things," and this is true when he understands the Truth; and the Truth is that your outer conditions—your environment—are not cause; they are effect. You are not happy because you are well. You are well because you are happy. You do not have faith because things are going well. They are going well because you have faith. You are not depressed because trouble has come to you, but trouble has come because your realization of the Truth had first fallen off. The secret of life then is to control your mental states. To accept sickness, trouble, and failure as unavoidable, and perhaps inevitable, is folly, because it is this very acceptance by you that keeps these evils in existence. Man is not limited by his environment. He creates his environment by his beliefs and feelings. To suppose otherwise is like thinking that the tail can wag the dog. If you have been thinking that outer conditions are stronger than you are, say to yourself: "Tail wags dog" and immediately reverse the belief. . . . who didn’t hinder you that ye should not obey the truth? (Galatians 5:7). ************************************************** ~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~ Fast Forward If it walks out of the refrigerator by itself, let it go. ~ Anonymous ~ A woman in a seminar confessed, “Everything I have to let go of, I leave claw marks on." How do you respond when life asks you to let go of something you have valued? We are living in a time of incredibly rapid change. Many of us go through several marriages, careers, living situations, spiritual paths, and belief systems in a lifetime. We may feel guilty that we did not stay with one partner forever, or believe that there is something wrong with us because we change so much. But perhaps what you thought was wrong with you, is what is right with you. Perhaps in wisdom you chose to go through many experiences so you could master a host of lessons in one lifetime. If you lived a hundred years ago, your life would have been more stable. You would have been married to one partner for a lifetime, lived in one town, practiced one profession, and attended one church. You would not have questioned the beliefs handed to you and them; you would have passed them on to your children. The lessons of life came more slowly, and so did personal growth. Now, never before in history have so many chosen to learn so much in such a short time. Rather than requiring an entire lifetime to learn from a marriage or profession, we may move through the lessons in a number of years. When Barbara De Angelis, the well-known author who has written several books on relationships, was interviewed on a television news magazine show, the reporter rudely confronted her: “You've been married four times. How can you pass yourself off as a relationship expert when you're a four-time loser?" Barbara responded coolly, "l don't see myself as a four-time loser; I consider myself a four-time learner. Although those marriages didn’t last, I gained valuable insights and strengths that helped me bring more depth and presence to the relationships that followed.” If you feel like you're a loser because you've often changed relationships or jobs, re-identify yourself as a learner; if you’ve gained wisdom, the experience was a success. Rather than criticize yourself, honor your courage for being willing to grow through rapid change. Help me to bless my lessons as gifts. I value every experience as a lesson on love. I am better for what I have learned. |
October 31
Step by Step “I spend a great deal of time passing on what I learned to others who want and need it badly. I do it for four reasons: 1. Sense of duty. 2. It is a pleasure. 3. Because in so doing I am paying my debt to the man who took time to pass it on to me. 4. Because every time I do it I take out a little more insurance for myself against a possible slip.” – Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, “Personal Stories, Pioneers of AA”, Ch 1 (“Doctor Bob’s Nightmare”), pp 180-81. Today, admitting that my motive to quit drinking was self-serving and hardly altruistic, I am required now to be responsible to my sobriety. That responsibility is no clearer in any other than the 12th Step, the one that gives us our marching orders to carry the message to people who need and want it. A dividend like sobriety that we have earned through blood, sweat and tears brings with it a responsibility, and we appreciate and treasure that dividend when we share it with someone else, and when it works as well for them. As a drinking alcoholic, I blamed my problems on anyone and anything but myself, and it overwhelmed me. Sober now, I share it and, hopefully, sobriety will become even stronger. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M. ************************************************** ~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~ RESPECT FAITH is a lighted doorway, but TRUST is the dark hallway that says, "Do I dare walk this way, not knowing where it will lead?" ~ Anonymous ~ When we have faith in others we are giving them a great gift. We are giving them respect. By the time we found our way into recovery, most of us had lost respect for ourselves and others. We had lost faith in our own judgment. We couldn't tell a truth from a lie. When we began to regain our faith in ourselves, we weren't sure if it was right to do so or not. When we shared with others as honestly as we could, we found that they trusted us to tell the truth. And we had this unfamiliar sensation that they respected our honesty and us. We found that sharing honestly created trust in the integrity of others. And they responded the same way to us. Mutual trust then blossomed through faith. When I share honestly with others in the Program, I am building faith, respect and trust between us. ************************************************** ~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~ I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life and that is why I succeed. ~ Michael Jordan ~ Nobody chooses defeat. The reason we get out there and try our best is because we want to succeed. Failure is painful, and loss can be discouraging. To have a successful life we need to learn the techniques that successful people use to deal with failure. They know that every attempt has its risks and that we all experience failure. It is in our failures that we learn the most. Everyone on the recovery path knows the pain of great loss and the guilt of facing up to big mistakes. We also take our failures and turn them into net gain by learning the lessons they contain. Our strength for the future of our lives comes, in part, from mining the resources to be found in the rubble of failure. We refine those resources by our honesty about them. Our experience with what worked and what didn’t work points the way to a stronger, wiser life. When we demand resilience from ourselves, we rebound from failure to step forward toward success with our next venture. Today I accept that every failure contains the seeds for success in the future. ************************************************** ~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~ Sometimes it seems I’ve spent my life trying to live up to others’ expectations of me, and failing. I never thought much about pleasing myself. That would have been “selfish.” ~ JoAnn Reed ~ We can feel burdened, inadequate, and over-whelmed by expectations, even when they are our own. More often, however, the problem originates from outside ourselves. Before we got into the program, we may have been easily caught in the trap of other people’s expectations because we didn’t know who we really were. Now that we are in recovery, the Fourth Step offers us an opportunity to understand ourselves better, which in turn helps us to set our own goals. No longer must someone else’s goals guilt us into action. Getting to know real freedom from the expectations of others is a two-step process. First we need to see clearly which expectations are ours and which belong to someone else. Then we need to turn to our Higher Power for help in fulfilling oui own expectations, and only our own. Before taking any action today I will pause to make certain I am fulfilling my expectations, not someone else’s. God will help me with this task. ************************************************** ~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~ I am practicing expressing myself One of the first things I learned in therapy for my emotional illness was to express myself. Keeping my feelings inside—which I have done for many years—can contribute to my illness and keep me ill. To recover and stay healthy, I need to release my emotions regularly. In therapy I also learned some different ways to express myself. For instance, I can talk about my feelings, paint them, or write about them (in a journal, in stories, or in poems). I could even sing or dance my feelings if I wanted to. I am grateful to have these tools that are helping me recover and stay healthy. I will try a new tool today to see if it might help me express my current feelings. ************************************************* ~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~ What the superior man seeks is in himself. What the mean man seeks is in others. ~ Confucius ~ If we constantly compare ourselves to others and carry around an imaginary scorecard, we will never be satisfied with ourselves. Our feelings of value must come from inside us. In the long run, the only way to shake feelings of insecurity is to reach down inside ourselves for our pride and self-worth. One way is to write down all our positive qualities, no matter how small they may seem, and keep that list for reference. The ability to read maps, the ability to play bridge well, a talent for canning fruit, a talent for fixing cars — these are the pieces that make up human beings. Most of us are made up of pieces like these, and our pieces take on new meaning when we share them with others at Twelve Step meetings. Learning about ourselves means learning our positive qualities and gladly sharing them with others. When we rejoice in the things we do well, we are proud of ourselves on our own merit, not because we compared ourselves to another. Today help me share something on my list with another. ************************************************** ~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~ Know thyself. ~ Inscription on the Oracle of Apollo at Delphi ~ Step Ten is, in essence, a follow-up Step for your work on Step Four, when you conducted a searching and fearless moral inventory of yourself. Step Ten provides you with A reminder that your inventory work needs to be ongoing so you do not fall back into inappropriate or destructive behavior, that you continue to treat others with kindness and respect, and that you work the program with dedication and commitment. While it is a good idea to work on Step Four each year In your recovery, Step Ten encourages you to check in with yourself on a regular basis. You can do this each day, such as first thing in the morning or right before you go to bed at night. Or you can set aside a regular time each Week in which you engage in self-examination. Ask yourself, “How am I doing?” and be honest in your response. This can help prevent you from suppressing your feelings or ignoring warning signs of something that could turn into a bigger problem if it is not dealt with immediately. If you realize a situation needs your attention, promptly attend to it and make amends if necessary. I will continue to take a personal inventory and correct those things that need to be set right. ************************************************** ~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~ There are always two voices sounding in our ears—the voice of fear and the voice of confidence. One is the clamor of the senses, the other is the whispering of the higher self. ~ Charles B. Newcomb ~ Sometimes we may wish others could hear the station our heads are tuned to. When someone says, "you look nice," our station says, "They're only saying that to get a ride to town." When someone says, "You're fun to be with," our station broadcasts, "If they only knew what a bummer you really are." The host of our station is Fear; his assistants are Doubt and Insecurity. The trio is always on our airwaves, ready to shoot down any good vibrations we receive. If we start to believe we are good people, then we'll put them out of business. We can let a new voice onto the airways—Trust. When we hear, "You look nice," Trust can say, "You've been trying to improve your appearance and someone noticed!" If we learn to listen to Trust, we will hear affirmations and motivating statements. With Trust we will always hear the Truth. Tonight, I will believe I am a much better person than Fear, Doubt, and Insecurity would have me believe. ************************************************** ~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~ Exercising our power We can use. Our Higher Power won’t stop us. It won’t take a joint out of our hand, tell the doctor not to give us tranquilizers or pain pills, or lock the door to the corner bar. But our Higher Power will give us the strength to refuse that first fix, pill, or drink. It is only necessary for us to practice that refusal. No is an excellent word to use. Other fancy refusals will work, but no works best of all. After we have accepted the power to refuse mind-altering chemicals, we are given the power to work the steps. Our Higher Power gives us this power, but we have to exercise it ourselves. Do I exercise my God-given power wisely? Higher Power, help me to exercise the power you have already given me. Today I will ask my Higher Power for the power to God help me to stay clean and sober today! ************************************************** ~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~ I'm grateful for every drop I drank. ~ WOMAN IN RECOVERY ~ Newcomer I've heard some people in this program say that they think it may be too late for them, that they wish they'd come here years earlier. I've heard other people say that they got here at such an early age that they sometimes wonder if they quit using too soon. I find myself identifying with both groups at different times. Sponsor Anxieties about age, laments that we’re too old or too young for recovery are yet another variation on the theme of denial. It took me as long as it took me to get here; I don't think I could have gotten sober one day sooner. Now that I'm here, I intend to stay, to live whatever seasons and whatever days my life consists of, appreciating the richness of life in recovery. Some days I feel raw and inexperienced. Other days I feel mature and wise. I learn from the experience of those who are older or younger, from the sponsor who got here before me and the sponsee who got here after me. Whatever age we've reached, we can be of use. We're learning to trust that what time holds for us is good; when we're struggling with some problem, we're not going to leave before the miracle. Today, my recovery supports me, wherever I am on the continuum of my life. ************************************************** ~ THE EYE OPENER ~ The Founders of AA acted wisely when they fixed it so there would be no Big Shots in our fellowship. We are not the best people in the world when it comes to bearing heavy responsibilities. It has proven to be poison to many a good man. After all, it is not necessary for your fame to spread around the world—there are more drunks on your own street than you can help. ************************************************** ~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~ Benefiting Others Dear God, bless You for bringing me from the lowest depths of existence. What excitement has come to me when I discovered I am not a worthless human being. When I drank and used, I thought I was doomed to be incompetent, unworthy, and a dishonest person. No more. My escape from the depths of despair has made me feel needed and trusted. Others listen to my story of how I was, what happened, and what I am like today. Lord, bless You for making me a helpful person by sharing those very experiences that made me feel worthless. ************************************************* ~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~ THE CONSECRATED LIFE Of what does the consecrated life consist? Your life is a consecrated one when you are ready at all times to do the will of God—when you are willing and anxious that God may be fully expressed through you, through your thoughts, words, and deeds, during every hour of the day. You are nor concerned with the question of results. Results belong to God. Here am I; send me (Isaiah 6:8). ************************************************** ~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~ Out of the Closet You must look upon your illusions and not keep them hidden… Illusions have no place where love abides, protecting you from everything that is not true. ~ A Course in Miracles ~ In our fascination with the monsters of Halloween, we forget that the holiday began as a celebration of purification. “Halloween” is short for “All Hallows (Holy) Evening,” the night that precedes November 1st, All Saints' Day. The lore tells that the presence of great spiritual light on All Saints’ Day calls forth all the unhealed spirits so they can be blessed and released. The process is similar to cleaning laundry in a washing machine. When the soap and water touch the garments, the grime is loosened, and it rises to the surface. To look into a washing machine during the agitation cycle, you would be repulsed and think that the clothes are getting dirtier. But they are actually getting cleaner. The muck must be extracted before it can be discarded. While our culture has forgotten the spiritual origin of Halloween, you can make use of it. Are there any monsters lurking in the closet of your consciousness? Are you carrying any hidden fears, resentments, or grotesque memories that stalk you in the night? Are you annoyed by any emotional goblins that undermine your relationships? If so, open the door and let them fly away. Call forth the energy of love and healing, and ask God to free you of anything that stands between you and your good. Monsters are dangerous only when we run from them. No bogeyman has any power over us unless we feed it with fear and denial. Face your demons, and you will see that they are illusions. Shine the light of truth on your basement, and you will have a whole new room to play in. Give me the courage to move beyond my fears and be free. I release the darkness to make way for the light. |
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