June 16

MIRROR, MIRROR

"Beauty is eternity gazing at itself in a mirror.”
Kahlil Gibran


As a child, I often looked in the mirror and wished I were a boy. I thought I was ugly, had a deep voice, and was a disappointment as a girl. Even as a young woman I could never enjoy my appearance. I never saw the truth in the mirror. I would always focus on my “problem areas” and feel devastated that this had happened to my body. I felt totally helpless and wanted to cry; but I didn’t cry ~ I ate instead. Compulsive overeating stripped me of my true self. It made me incapable of seeing the truth, feeling the truth, and perceiving the truth.

Since coming to OA the scales have fallen from my eyes. By reading the Big Book, going to meetings, interacting with my sponsor, and working the steps, I have been able to see things as they are. Now I see my true self in the mirror and I can deal with life as it is. I can feel my feelings and know that they are neither right nor wrong and they will pass and change with the wind. This healing has cleared space in my mind and spirit for me to connect with my Higher Power. It has made room for me to grow, to love and care for myself, and to appreciate the body God gave me. When I doubt my perceptions, my feelings, or what I’m seeing in the mirror, I just surrender and remind myself that God has given me new eyes and new tools for living my life. The 12 Steps of OA shine a light into my soul and show me the truth in all areas of my life and recovery.

One day at a time...
I will look at myself ~ in all areas of my recovery ~ and know that what I am seeing is the truth because the light of OA and the 12 steps are guiding my life today.


~ Karen

June 17

VICES AND VIRTUES

"It has been my experience that folks who
have no vices have very few virtues."
Abraham Lincoln


In doing a tenth step daily, I am faced with my character defects -- and yes, even vices. While I may not be compulsively eating, I may over-indulge in any number of other things like talking, whining, or frenetic busy-ness. I have been told that in life I must learn to "take my foot off the gas." I have also been told that I am "too intense" or just "too much." I guess this means I am not moderate in all things (by a mile.)

This thought comforts me in all of this: at least I am in the game. If someone asks for my opinion, he or she will get it ~ straight from the heart or the hip, as they say. If someone needs a favor, I am apt to be excessive in performing it. If someone needs a friend, he or she often gets much more than a casual acquaintance in me. In essence, my being "too much in general" has its good side -- at least I am not asleep at the wheel. I am fully engaged in life.

One day at a time...
I will not forget that my zest for overindulging and overdoing-it-in-general has its counterpart in my zest for goodness and service. I am alive and kicking. I will not hate myself for being fully alive.


~ Q

June 18

GUILT

“The worst guilt is to accept an unearned guilt.”
Ayn Rand


I think that I was fed on guilt from the minute I was knee-high to a grasshopper. My mother's favorite saying was, "After all I've done for you..." I'd immediately feel guilty because of all that I perceived my mother had given up for me. As a result, I was given the message that love had to be earned and that as far as my mother was concerned, I had to do something to be worthy of her love. I felt like I had to be the perfect daughter my mother wanted. No matter what I did, it never seemed to be good enough. My guilt grew even more.

Of course I know now that I didn't deserve that guilt and that I chose to take it on ~ but as a child I didn't know that. Thank goodness for the program which is enabling me to see what I deserve -- and what doesn't belong to me. I am realizing that most of the time it's other people's stuff and that I don't have to take that on.

One day at a time...
I will remember to only take on what is rightfully mine and I don't need to feel guilty if I don't deserve to.


~ Sharon

June 19

KIND WORDS

“Kind words can be short and easy to speak,
but their echoes are truly endless.”
Mother Teresa


How many times are we gifted with newcomers to our meetings? They are so easy to see as they huddle in the back of the room -- usually as close to the exit as possible. Their oversized coat is a good giveaway, especially in July. Their eyes show the fear and anxiety that we all felt. Sure, we made it, and so can they.

I remember the elder who first said those magical words to me -- those two simple words -- "Welcome Home." The warmth and safety those words held were immense. I felt that my body was huge, and I was embarrassed in a room full of people who looked very similar to me…but my eyes could not see that. They were filled with tears because of those two words. Welcome home. Whoever that person was, I have two words for you, "Thank you.”

What can you do to make a newcomer feel welcome to your meeting? Let us not forget that all-important first hug. I remember mine; do you remember yours? It felt good, I'll bet. So welcome the newcomer and let them know they are home.

One day at a time...
I will do my part to welcome the newcomer into our fellowship.


~ Danny

June 20

STRUGGLE

“Our way is not soft grass,
it's a mountain path with lots of rocks.
But it goes upward, forward,toward the sun.”
Ruth Westheimer


I've been in a Twelve Step program for a while now. When I look back, I sometimes think how easy the journey has been to find the peace, serenity and love I've been given -- thanks to the program. I brought a lot of denial with me when I joined the program, and apparently I'm still in some denial. I'm so grateful to be where I am today that I have forgotten the struggles I've faced to get here.

No wonder some newcomers look at longtimers and think they'll never be able to get there! When I stretch my memory, I remember running headlong into the Fourth Step and thinking it the scariest thing I'd ever faced in my life. I know that first one was traumatic--holding my pencil to do it, getting the first page down, and admitting so many things that had been shaming me for decades. I usually don't think about that today. Now I know firsthand the cleansing of a good Fourth Step and I look forward to them as I peel the onion and find more defects.

When I look back over my journey, I can remember sitting in an emergency room using the slogan "One Day at a Time" for the first time. I changed "one day" to "five minutes" because it was all I could handle. But it got me through that day and the next two days. A few years ago I read that the slogans are the handrails to the Steps. I wish I'd known that before. For me to use that slogan when I did was an act of faith ~ and at the time my faith was shaky. After having proved to my satisfaction that there is a Higher Power out there who wants the best for me, I have faith now. Maybe this is why I look back on my journey and have a hard time finding the struggles. Maybe it's my new attitude of gratitude that keeps me looking to the positive rather than the negative. Whatever the reason, I'd like to say that
I struggled in the program, but it was worth it.

One day at a time...
I will remember to turn to the program to help maintain my peace and serenity,especially through the bad times.


~ Rhonda

One of the greatest gifts of the program was finding out that the program is applicable to all parts of my life. It isn't about my addiction alone. I no longer want to use, but it has always been the thinking behind the drinking and drugging.

That is why it is a one day at a time program for me, I have to work on my emotional sobriety daily.

June 21

A Person of Worth

“It is funny about life:
if you refuse to accept anything but the very best
you will very often get it.”
W. Somerset Maugham


Upon entering recovery, I found it ironic, even strange, that I was so very good at taking care of others and helping them secure the help that they needed, yet often in my life I have not done this for myself. I would grow depressed and very frozen in anger, grief, and fear. Why wasn’t I ever able to care properly for myself? At what point did I begin to expect the worst as my own allotment in life?

It is possible that I dreamed of a “rescue” or an intervention of some kind that would “save me.” It is likely that my Higher Power knew of my tendencies for magical thinking. He caught my attention by the introduction of someone who knew of a program that would point me in a realistic direction. In this program, I would be taught to take small actions -- “One day at a time” -- that would encourage and re-build my shattered self-esteem. I now am in possession of a wonderful program that has given me tools for recovery and change so that I can learn to treat myself as well as I treat others.



One day at a time...
I no longer accept anything but the best, as it will indirectly affect my recovery. This is my new mindset: that I am a person of worth.


~ January K.

June 22

SUNLIGHT OF THE SPIRIT

“Trust God and buy broccoli.”
Author Unknown



I heard that quotation in an OA meeting years ago. “What an odd thing,” I thought. “Why does God care what I buy?” But as years have gone by and my abstinence continues one day at a time, I see the meaning of that phrase and have deep respect for its principle.

I can trust God 'til the cows come home, but there is work to be done. A more familiar quote is: “Trust God but continue to row toward shore.”

Abstinence for me is not only refraining from compulsive overeating, but abstaining from what I call my “alcoholic foods.” They block that beautiful contact between me and the Sunlight of the Spirit. It is my responsibility to purchase, prepare, weigh and measure the best foods for my peace of mind ~ and to open the channel to a Power Greater than Myself. Now I live this way, with thanks to the twelve steps.

One day at a time...
I will be grateful that food does not have power today.


~ Gerri

Love it, it speaks volumes and has a great message. Like the term alcohol foods, those food that make me think more.

June 23

MIRACLES

“Miracles are instantaneous,
they cannot be summoned but come of themselves,
usually at unlikely moments and to those who least expect them.”
Katherine Ann Porter


I never believed that we live in an age of miracles. As far as I was concerned, those happened only in the days of the Bible -- with burning bushes and the red sea opening up. When I first came into the program and heard people talking about miracles, I was skeptical. As I became more open to the possibility, things began to happen which I can only consider to be miracles. They may not have seemed large to my old closed mind, but being able to give up certain trigger foods -- or having a fellow member in the program call me when I most needed a call -- have become miracles in my life today.

Being able to maintain my weight, rather than losing and gaining weight every few months, is a miracle. Most importantly, my transformed relationships with my children and other loved ones are miracles.

One day at a time...
I will open my mind to the possibility of miracles occurring in my life…and they will come.


~ Sharon

June 24

ACCEPTANCE

“Because you’re not what I would have you be,
I blind myself to who in truth, you are.”
Madeleine L’Engle


The Big Book of AA says, “Acceptance is the answer to all my problems.” I am finding this to be true for me. Living in a household with several family members, I need to not focus on others’ faults. I can choose to practice acceptance by looking past what others do that I think they shouldn't do, and instead I can love them for who they are.

In order to show unconditional love I must look past their shortcomings. I need to stop dwelling on the fact that they sometimes don’t do things the way I want them to. If I don't do that, anger and resentments follow and I find myself trying to control things and play God. We all know that doesn't work. It just causes misery and takes away my joy, peace and serenity.

As I work my program of recovery, I am better off to “let go and let God” and just accept others as they are. Putting others in God’s hands and resisting the temptation to try to make things turn out the way I want them to is the definition of acceptance for me. When I love others unconditionally I experience peace and serenity beyond my wildest dreams.

One day at a time ...
I will practice the miracle of acceptance and unconditional love.


~ Bluerose

June 25

STEP TWELVE

“One must really have suffered oneself to help others.”
Mother Teresa


Before coming into the program, I always worked in some sort of caring profession and was always either helping or “fixing” someone else ~ mostly in areas in which I had no personal experience. I was a people-pleaser and I would be there for someone else. If anything needed to be done, I was the one to offer to do it. But ultimately that backfired because I would feel used and resentful, and I would land up in the food as my way of compensating.

Since coming into program I have changed the way I help others. Instead of doing for others so they would like me -- or so I would get a pat on the back -- I share my experience, strength and hope with other compulsive overeaters. I have been where they have been, and I can share with them my struggles and how I've overcome them. Not only do I help others in the program with what I have learned, but, as they say, I can only keep what I have if I give it away. I get as much -- if not more -- from sharing with another in the program. How different this is from the way it was before I began the program, and I'm so grateful for that!

One day at a time...
I will share my experience, strength and hope with another compulsive overeater. By doing so, I get to keep what I have so generously been given in this program.


~ Sharon

June 26

TOOLS

”We shall neither fail nor falter; we shall not weaken or tire...
give us the tools and we will finish the job.”
Winston Churchill


We use tools everyday to complete a task at hand. To cook, we need tools such as pots, pans, knives, and silverware; to tend to our laundry, we need soap and water; to clean our home, we use a vacuum, dust rags, and cleaners.

Our journey of recovery is handled in the same way. The tools we use to help us throughout each day include: Step Work, Sponsorship, Meetings, Prayer, Meditation, Writing, Literature, Meal Plan, Service and Abstinence. These tools assist us in keeping our days balanced and they allow for a meaningful, productive day, each day of our recovery.

We hold strong to our recovery with the assistance of these tools, building our endurance each day. Like soldiers marching across the field, we are on the frontline day-to-day. By using these tools and keeping them close to us, we are ready to take on anything that might come our way.

One day at a time...
Give us the tools, and I will keep them close to me.


~ Kimber

June 27

EFFICIENCY AND FUNCTION

“In God's economy, nothing is wasted.
Through failure, we learn a lesson in humility
which is probably needed, painful though it is.”
Bill W., Letter of 1942


I have spent a lot of time cultivating perfectionism in the vain attempt to make up for being a "failure" -- or what I have now come to understand is compulsive eating and an illness. I was trying to make up with efficiency for that feeling of not being good enough ~ and that feeling seems to be a hallmark of our illness.

By my past behaviors, I wanted you to notice how efficient and functional I was despite my obese body that belied I had a problem. If I could somehow convince you that I was "normal" and "ok," I would not have to admit my powerlessness. This is the single greatest obsession of every compulsive eater: that we are "normal" eaters. But we are not!

I built a lifetime around efficiency and function trying to show you how normal I was. Thank God I was brought to my compulsive eating knees time and time again until I could finally make that admission of failure as a normal eater and admit that I was powerless. The humility brought about by that admission afforded me an open-mindedness and willingness I had hitherto not known. I became teachable.

One day at a time...
I pray to remain teachable.


~ Lanaya

June 28

ISOLATION

”Solitude vivifies; isolation kills.”
Joseph Roux


As an introvert and an agoraphobic I relate to both sides of this quote. From an introverted point of view, I need solitude to regroup, renew, and refresh. It's part of my process in life to have quiet time alone in order to "get it together". When I'm alone and I read my OA literature and meditate on what I'm reading and learning, I'm able to gain new insight and a renewed sense of direction in my program.

From an agoraphobic point of view, isolation kills my ability to stick to my program. When my social anxiety cycles and it becomes difficult to get to meetings or make phone calls, I hide from the world ~ and from my friends and other OA members who can help me maintain my abstinence.

Solitude and Isolation are both active decisions. Both require some forethought. If solitude is what I need to in order to regroup, I have to make time for it. I have to take a walk, read a book, putter around my house. On the flip side, if I'm having a hard time with Program and my social anxiety is becoming unmanageable, I can either isolate and spiral down, or I can choose to take action and get to a meeting, make a phone call, or ask my sponsor to meet me for coffee. I don't have to be alone in this program.

One day at a time...
I remember that I have control over my actions. Although I need solitude to heal, I don't have to be alone in my disease.


~ Deb B.