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Even More Recovery Readings and Meditations - November
November 1
Step by Step Today, remembering that I worked the steps as hard as I could when I surrendered in Step One, I know I will have to rework them again if I choose to slip or relapse. Some of the steps required to gain and maintain sobriety also require some of the most brute honesty possible, and seeing myself as I truly was is an experience I don’t want to repeat. Thus, the solution to avoid having to see myself again as I was is simple: don’t slip, don’t relapse. Sometimes easier said than done, but the 12 Steps give us the control not to bow to what we cannot control – alcohol. It is a fact that the sober alcoholic has another drunk inside but may not have another recovery. Even if I have another recovery, I don’t want to go through the grueling experience of seeing myself as I might again become during a slip or relapse. And my insurance against having to go through that is the program. Today, I’ll use it. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M. ************************************************** ~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~ KEEP COMING BACK Keep coming back; it works if you work it. ~ Anonymous ~ Our memories can be very short. Staying close to the Program and attending meetings is important in keeping our memories current. Addictions have a way of patiently waiting for us to stop working our Program. Addictions know that when we stop working, it is only a matter of time before they take over again. There will never be a graduation from meetings, and we will never have more than this day to judge our progress. We succeed or fail one day at a time, one meeting at a time. Many of us can say with some certainty that we do not have another recovery in us. If we relapse, we may never come back. There is no certainty in recovery; there is no perfection; there is only progress. We attend meetings to make that progress. I have to keep coming back to stay in recovery. My recovery will keep working for me if I continue to work it. ************************************************** ~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~ There’s a lot of credit that can be given to youth and enthusiasm, but with them comes foolishness. Age and craftsmanship is not to be played down. I have got more tricks up my sleeves than an alligator has teeth. ~ George Foreman ~ As men in the early stages of recovery, we often have felt that we were walking on rubber legs. We felt very shaky. We were ready to admit that our lives had become unmanageable, but to establish a more stable life seemed like an overwhelming challenge. We needed the support of others in the program who were ahead of us on this path. So we turned to our sponsors and to other people in our meetings who had walked these Steps before us. As men who have longer sobriety, we know that we need to share our stories and help others to maintain our own lifesaving recovery. So we continue to attend our meetings as one part of our maintenance program. We become sponsors and share our tricks of recovery because it benefits us as much as the other guy. Today, as a newcomer to recovery, or as one with more time in, I know that we all have a lot to give. ************************************************** ~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~ In order to accept change and the suffering it brings, we need to find meaning in it. ~ Mary Norton Gordon ~ In the midst of upheaval, we may long for the security of the past. But when we recall earlier times, we realize change has always been nipping at our heels. We’re reminded that we survived each change, and we gain confidence that we’ll weather this storm too. We don’t have to suffer just because we are experiencing change. While change may stir our emotions, we can cultivate excitement for the change rather than fear of it. Further, we can use our memories of other changes and the fruits they bore as our inspiration now for relishing the opportunities every change offers us. Change will come if God thinks it is time for us to stretch our talents and deepen our wisdom. It may be hard to keep that in mind when we feel the dread of change, but our memories will serve us if we’ll let them. Change is for my benefit, and my Higher Power is my benefactor. I’ll rejoice if something new beckons to me today. ************************************************** ~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~ I see now that I can get better in time When I realized I was sick, when I was first diagnosed with a dual disorder, I felt devastated. I wouldn't believe it. All I could foresee was more pain. And that scared me more. But now that I've learned some things about my (no-fault) addiction and psychiatric illness, they scare me less. With the clarity that comes from knowledge and the passing of time, I see that my life can get better and I see how I can get back on track. As much as I wish all were well today, I accept that recovery will just take some time. Today I will practice giving myself extra time to do the things I need to do. ************************************************* ~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~ We all rise again like the moon. Our very best God makes us all rise again, but never the same as before. Always brand new. ~ Sr. Karol A. Jackowski ~ Great loss takes everything from us but in time gives back more than we lost. By grieving we shed the old and receive the new. At first we find it hard to believe a brighter day will come. When we look inside ourselves, we find only the hurt and remorse. As we grieve, we may deeply resent people who say “Time heals all wounds.” How can they minimize our loss by predicting its end? In the middle of deep loss we may need only a hand on our shoulder and a silent message that says, “I’m here with you.” Then, as healing begins, we find ourselves filling up again, but in a different way. By surviving such pain we come to appreciate life in a new way. Our feelings are deeper, richer than before. We know about loss, and are more grateful for what we have. We are more trusting of our Higher Power, Who helped us find the strength to endure when we thought it would be too much for us. We’re learning that grief can bring newfound depths of beauty to our vision of life. Today let me move through my healing process, trusting that I am being cared for by my Higher Power. ************************************************** ~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~ Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out. ~ Step Eleven ~ A prayer is a humble and heartfelt communication with a power greater than yourself. A prayer can admit a weakness, communicate a need, or convey praise and gratitude. Prayers can unburden your heart, give you strength and courage, and deepen your faith and trust in a Higher Power. Use the following prayer as you work on your understanding and acceptance of Step Eleven. Step Eleven Prayer Higher Power, I humbly ask that you make me an ambassador of your peace. Help me to understand your will for me so that I may carry out acts of kindness, respect, and love for myself and for others. I pray to you for continual guidance. I resolve to connect with you every day and in every way, so I may grow stronger and more sure of myself in recovery. Through such daily prayer, I trust in your assurance that I will follow the right path. I promise to keep my connection with you for all of my days and nights. You will show me the way to live, free from addiction and fully engaged with my life. Higher Power, thank you for listening to my prayer. ************************************************** ~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~ When it gets dark enough, you can see the stars. ~ Lee Salk ~ The tiny points of light in the darkened sky have long been used to plot navigational courses. In fact, sailors trust the stars even more than their most sophisticated instruments. We, too, can look at the sky and find reassurance in its light. Each star in the sky has meaning. Whether it's part of a major constellation or merely a pulsating, burning mass in the sky, there is a reason for that star to be there. We are also stars in the night. We are not alone, for we share the expansive heavens with those around us, whether our nearest neighbor is one floor above us or miles away. We are all here for a purpose. I know I am not alone tonight, for I can see the stars. ************************************************** ~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~ Being inspired Within any problem lies a seed of opportunity. Solutions to knotty circumstances come through spiritual inspiration. If we stay clean and sober, we can sense the inspiration. Instead of dragging us down, our problems can take us to new heights. Didn’t our addiction bring us a spiritual awakening? Our Higher Power’s promises are sure. With every fear, we will hear that voice from within that stills our troubled minds. Do I feel inspired? I pray that I may do all I do with love and leave the results to my Higher Power. I will seek inspiration today by God help me to stay clean and sober today! ************************************************** ~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~ After distress, solace. ~ SWAHILI PROVERB ~ Newcomer Something I've been deeply dreading for a long time has finally happened. I'm surprised that I'm feeling relief instead of misery. I wish I'd known sooner that I was going to feel this way. Sponsor I'm often startled to discover that my Higher Power doesn't have the same deadlines for my happiness that I myself have imagined. When my mother died after a long illness, many things ended, including the chance that she might still, after so many years, nurture me in the ways that I'd wished for. What I'd tried so hard to hold at bay had come. I was powerless, confronted with mortality. As I went through the grieving process, an energy I couldn't have previously imagined began to bubble up in me. I understood, at last, that I didn't have forever to live my own life. I plunged into a period of creativity. I moved to a place that was more congenial than where I'd been living. I went back into therapy to address some unresolved conflicts. I let go of work and relationships that were unsatisfying and made more time for pleasure. My fear was over; I'd gone through the worst and survived. I had a life to live and to celebrate. What we envision as the end of everything can turn out to be the beginning of a more expansive period in our lives, an opening of perspectives we would have had no access to without going through loss, suffering, or failure. Today, changes I've feared do not destroy me; they open doors to the unexpected. ************************************************** ~ THE EYE OPENER ~ If life is only a preparation for something yet to come, as many believe, then the manner of our living will determine the success or failure in this preparation. It would naturally follow, therefore, that a man could not live a devil and die a saint. We do not feel that we are qualified to evaluate the worth of deathbed repentance but this we do feel—if you live right, deathbed repentance would hardly seem necessary. ************************************************** ~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~ Uselessness and Self-Pity Dear Lord, when I was deep within the bewilderment and agony of my addition, I often moaned, "What's the use? Nobody cares." I was a lost person. I thought I was incapable of doing anything worthwhile for anyone, including myself. Shame and guilt made me wallow in self-pity. By working the Program and focusing on positive things, I have changed. I have become more useful to myself and others. By recognizing my limitations and avoiding perfectionism, I've moved away from self-pity toward self-worth. ************************************************* ~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~ FORESIGHT AND HINDSIGHT When you have to make a decision or take a certain action, all that you can do is to do the best you know at that time, and if you do that you will have done your duty. In the light of after events it may turn out that you made a mistake, but that will not be your fault because you could not possibly do better than the best you know at the time. Claim that the Christ is guiding you; and believe it, and the ultimate outcome will be favorable even if things seem to go wrong for a time. And the Lord shall guide thee continually . . . (Isaiah 58:11). ************************************************** ~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~ President of the Inner States Confront the dark parts of yourself and work to banish them with illumination and forgiveness. Your willingness to wrestle with your demons will cause your angels to sing. ~ August Wilson ~ I am angry at myself because I failed in my goal of becoming president of the United States by 1996," Jerry stated. "It was my lifelong ambition, and I am ashamed that I have not completed my mission.” "What would you do if you were President?" I asked. "I would free the country of oppression," Jerry answered vehemently. "It sounds as if you have been oppressing yourself by beating yourself for not attaining your goal," I suggested. "Perhaps you could begin to free the country of oppression by releasing yourself. If you quit beating yourself up emotionally, you might not need to be president; maybe your aspiration for the office was a reflection of your desire for your own freedom." Jesus instructed, "Before you attempt to remove a speck from the eye of another, take the log out of your own eye.” Masterful psychology and metaphysics! When we feel driven to fix the outer world, it is really our inner world we are seeking to improve. While it is tempting to project our need onto others, it is really inner transformation we seek. It is useless to try to change another person unless we have first changed ourselves. A Course in Miracles asks us, “Can the world be saved if you are not?" Our primary responsibility is the healing of our own mind. With our own self purified, we are in a perfect position to see how we can truly be of service. Help me to heal my own mind so that I may be a pure channel of blessing. Help me to awaken, and let me not be seduced by projecting my needs onto others. I look within for truth and improve the world by transforming my own consciousness. |
November 2
Step by Step ” …(Y)ou are ready to take certain steps. “At some of these we balked. We thought we could find an easier, softer way. But we could not. With all the earnestness at our command, we beg of you to be fearless and thorough from the very start. Some of us have tried to hold on to our old ideas and the result was nil until we let go absolutely.” – Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, Ch 5 (“How It Works”), p 58. Today, I stand on a precipice that appears uncertain and terrifying, at least as much as the certainty and terror of continued drinking. But I must begin recovery. If I don’t, the certain terror of an alcoholic disintegration or death are all that await me. And as I set out on this journey, grant me the wisdom to yield to the experience of those who have already been where I am headed, and the humility to seek and do only the will of whatever higher power I find. Let me also understand completely and be willing and ready to accept whatever change comes about as I hopefully leave behind those days of drinking and take on whatever changes sobriety brings. Today, if I am setting out on the path toward recovery, let me be know and appreciate how demanding it will be and that I must be “fearless and thorough from the very start.” Anything less is a prescription for certain relapse. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M. ************************************************** ~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~ CHEERFULNESS Cheerfulness keeps up a kind of daylight in the mind and fills it with a steady and perpetual serenity. ~ Joseph Addison ~ All spiritual growth points us toward serenity. When we find it, we also find a cheerful attitude. When we feel at peace with the world we "put on a happy face." In our Program, we refer to that state as being "happy, joyous, and free." Cheerfulness is a personal choice. It begins with our acceptance of reality as we continue to grow spiritually. When we give our cheerfulness to others, we are also keeping for ourselves the peace that emotional growth brings us. Cheerfulness is a big part of a positive attitude. Without it, we wouldn't be able to accept the things we need to accept. Cheerfulness can't exist without freedom. Peace of mind and serenity are never forced on me. I must have an open heart and open mind to receive it. ************************************************** ~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~ It is not the employer who pays—he only handles the money. It is the product that pays wages. ~ Henry Ford ~ Our work gives us meaning and can be the source of many good feelings. Even when we wish we had a better job, we feel good when we do the job we have well. Sometimes at work we get caught up in resentments or personal feelings that tear down our self-esteem. The best tonic for negative feelings at work is to focus on doing a good job, regardless of all the other issues we have to deal with. Whether we are building complex technical equipment, cutting meat, or managing a team, the product we turn out is the bottom line. It expresses our character. In the long run, an excellent performance will come back to reward us. Knowing that we gave it our best is a source of inner pride. Today I know that self-respect comes from doing my job well. ************************************************** ~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~ I truly want to be part of the solution, not part of the problem. ~ Kathy Kendall ~ Honestly assessing how we perceive our experiences reveals how prone we are to create problems. Seeing the glass as half-empty is a habit, perhaps one we can’t imagine breaking. Fortunately, now we are surrounded by the good example of other people. Through listening at meetings we learn that the women we most admire understand our outlook. They have had it too. We are in the company every day of women who have changed in the very ways we want to change. No matter how hopeless we feel at times, their very presence reminds us that we can do what they have done. Turning to their Higher Power was their solution. And that’s ours too. We can turn to our Higher Power every time we begin to dwell on some experience, making it a bigger problem than it needs to be. Turning to our Higher Power becomes easier with practice and, in time, newcomers will admire our perspective, just as we have admired the perspective of others. I can emulate the good example of other people today rather than getting stuck in a problem. It’s all in how I look at my opportunities. ************************************************** ~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~ My appetite is returning It's been a while since I cared much about eating (this is not like me). My old favorites didn't appeal to me and trying new foods was out of the question. But I am happy to report that my appetite is getting better. Recently I had a craving for a cookie—and sure enough, it tasted good. As much as I love cookies, I'm looking forward to regaining my interest in other foods, too. In my journal I will make a note of my two favorite foods, my two favorite meals, and one person I like to share meals with. ************************************************* ~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~ I finally realized my family needs to understand what I’m going through, and now I can share that with them. ~ Ken J. ~ During active addiction we often became secretive, hiding our behavior out of shame and fear of rejection. Our families and friends didn’t know what was happening with us, how we felt, or what our lives were like. Now they may feel baffled again about what is happening to us. They may feel resentful or jealous when we spend time away from them. We must always maintain the anonymity of others in our Twelve Step fellowship, but we can explain how a meeting works, why it’s important to our recovery, and what it brings to our lives. We can explain the meaning of a Higher Power and the important role our sponsor plays in our recovery. We can talk about program principles such as powerlessness, letting go, and surrender. Talking about our recovery program is a wonderful way to share our lives and our feelings with family and friends. We can reassure them and help them understand the process of change. By sharing with them, we welcome our families and friends into our new lives in a loving way. Today help me share my recovery with those who are dose to me. ************************************************** ~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~ Everything gives birth to something... I water the peach, peaches feed me ~ Mike Garofalo ~ November is often viewed as the beginning of the season in which nature becomes dormant and many cycles of growth cease. And yet within such dormancy lies growth. Bulbs and seeds are entering a cycle in which they are preparing for future growth in the spring. Animals ensure their survival for the warmer months by growing thicker coats that will protect them from harsh temperatures and weather. So too do you need to engage in continual growth as you go through similar cycles of activity and inactivity, Each day offers the opportunity to renew your energy and commitment to recovery. Each person you meet offers companionship and support so you are reassured that you are not facing your challenges alone. And each time you engage in daily prayer and meditation, you develop and strengthen your spiritual connection. When you view each day as a time for a new beginning, you are building a stronger future and enhancing your quality of life. Consider that everything you do, everything you see, and everything you hear is enhancing your growth now, and in the future. Today I will continue to grow in positive ways. ************************************************** ~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~ Our daily thoughts should be elevated above the ceiling. ~ W W. Loflin ~ How optimistic are we? Do we see problems as solvable or impossible? Do we see our abilities as expanding or limited? Do we set goals for ourselves, or do we feel goals are unattainable? Not everyone can scale the highest mountain or find the Titanic or survive great disasters. We can't all be president of the country or director of our department. But elevating our daily thoughts above the ceiling doesn't mean we have to strive for recognition or undertake the most difficult tasks. All we really have to do is believe we are good people, capable of enjoying health and happiness. That belief can buoy us up against any obstacle. We can learn to raise our thoughts whenever they start to go down. First, we can say we are inherently good. Then we can show others our goodness by being kind, friendly, and helpful. Finally, we can ask that our spirits be kept high by the help of our Higher Power. By doing these things, there is no limit to how good we can feel. I can learn to raise my thoughts when they start to go down. ************************************************** ~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~ Becoming selfless Only through the grace of our Higher Power can we feel peace and serenity. We know that self and self-based decisions end in pain. We have to replace self with love. If our hearts are full of our egos, there is no room for a Higher Power. We begin to become selfless when we recognize that we need a Higher Power in our lives. We have learned from experience that no other way works for us. This does! The only point in talking about self is to know what we’re trying to be free of, what we’re substituting for a Higher Power. Am I a selfless person now? Higher Power, let me put a little more of you into a place where I still have much self. I will do things for others today, such as God help me to stay clean and sober today! ************************************************** ~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~ When you pray you are opening a window within yourself. ~ GURUDEV SHREE CHITRABHANU ~ Newcomer I don't know if I can pray the way I'm supposed to. Sponsor There's no wrong way to pray, no place or time, no posture or language, that's inappropriate. We can pray anywhere. Some of us pray on our knees; some pray while sitting, standing, walking, or performing sacred movements. Some of us use prayers from the religion we claim as ours, some use prayers found in program literature, and some of us write our own. Many prayers are said spontaneously. Some prayers may even be unconscious or involuntary. All are holy. Prayer can be a medium for expressing gratitude, joy, and acceptance of what is; it can be a cry for help or understanding; it can be a reaching out for relationship, an attempt to find our way to the Spirit, or a means of maintaining contact with our inner guidance. I've heard someone in recovery say that prayer may come before we find out who or what our Higher Power is. Most of us, once we have the habit of prayer, find it a necessity. Today, I nourish myself with prayer. ************************************************** ~ THE EYE OPENER ~ Have you ever visited the General Service Headquarters in New York? Do you have any conception of the vast amount of work that passes through the Foundation every year? It is highly possible that your Group would not exist today were it not for them. It is likewise probable that if your Group did not exist you would still be beating your brains out. The New York Office is functioning beautifully but they require the support of every Group to do so. Make it your business to see that your Group is doing its share. ************************************************** ~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~ Losing Interest in Selfish Things God, help me choose the path away from selfish things. I came into the Program an expert in dishonesty, deceit, envy, and grandiosity. Selfishness fitted me well. I was shameless in the ways I took advantage of and manipulated other people. Help me remember that selfishness and self-centeredness are a product of a sick ego. God, I must remember, every minute, that my reborn purpose in this new way of living is to help other people. ************************************************* ~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~ A SMILE IS AN INVESTMENT Most people feel intuitively that the simplest things in life are the most important, or, if you prefer, that the most important things in life are found to be the simplest. This is a very profound discovery. What is more important to us than breathing, for instance? Another simple thing that is of great moment is a smile. A smile affects your whole body from the skin right in to the skeleton, including all blood vessels, nerves, and muscles. It affects the functioning of every organ. It influences every gland. Even one smile often relaxes a number of muscles, and when the thing becomes a habit you can easily see how the effect will mount up. Last year's smiles are paying you dividends today. The effect of a smile on other people is no less remarkable. It disarms suspicion, melts away fear and anger, and brings forth the best in the other person-which best he immediately proceeds to give to you. A smile is to personal contacts what oil is to machinery, and no intelligent engineer ever neglects lubrication. Rejoice evermore (1 Thessalonians 5:16). ************************************************** ~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~ Unforeseen Circumstances Never make forecasts, especially about the future. ~ Samuel Goldwyn ~ I was taken aback to read a newspaper article about a convention of psychics that had been canceled “due to unforeseen circumstances.” If we can’t depend on a group of professional psychics to know their own future, who can we look to? Is the future knowable? Can anyone truly predict what will happen? A psychic, seer, or prophet can look down the road and see likely out–comes of actions and attitudes that are currently in motion. But at any moment, a human being can make a new decision and alter the course of events. A good psychic always leaves room for free will. Because we are imbued by God with the power to create, we can re-create our life at any time. Experts in worldly sciences, too, make predictions based on history and trends. A doctor may tell you your chances of recovery, an economist may forecast market cycles, and an astrologer may indicate fortuitous times to act. But all of these predictions are based on you and others continuing what has always been done. If you choose a different course, you will create a different destiny. “Terminal cancer,” for example, is a very dishonest term. A long time ago, I read that more persons have survived cancer than make up the population of Los Angeles. I am certain that that number has increased immensely by now. I know of support groups for “former terminal cancer patients"—now there is a beautiful oxymoron! You have the power to create unforeseen circumstances. You were not born to be a statistic; you were born to be ecstatic. Choose your own destiny, and live by your own rules, not the world’s. Help me to live by the laws of love and create the future I choose. I step forward into the world I create by my choice. |
November 3
Step by Step “There is no more ‘aloneness,’ with that awful ache, so deep in the heart of every alcoholic that nothing, before, could ever reach it. That ache is gone and never need return again. ‘Now there is a sense of belonging, of being wanted and needed and loved. In return for a bottle and a hangover, we have been given the Keys of the Kingdom.” – Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, “Personal Stories, Pioneers of AA,” Ch 12 (“The Keys of the Kingdom”), p 312. Today, no minimizing or taking for granted that we have been given “the keys of the kingdom” by surrendering in Step One and then proceeding to the nuts and bolts of the Program. We also cannot take for granted that the keys given us won’t be taken away in a disastrous split second in which we cave into self-pity, anger, remorse or hopelessness and pick up the bottle again. If we do, perhaps the single most anguishing emotion of alcoholism – desperate loneliness – once again will engulf us and all that we have worked for thus far will lay in ruins. But, today, we need not cave into those temptations or our self-defeating character defects if we internalize the Steps and their principles, and they can and will get us through any situation and over any mountain of any height. Today, I will not trade my “keys to the kingdom” for “just one more.” And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M. ************************************************** ~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~ FIXING OTHERS Don't fix; be supportive. ~ Anonymous ~ If it was within our capacity to fix people's lives, we would have done so a long time ago with all our friends and relatives. We finally realized in our First Step how hopelessly mismatched we were for the job of fixing ourselves and the whole world. Most of us struggled for years to fix our own lives, but we couldn't. It was not until we admitted we were licked that we finally got the help we needed. By working the other Eleven Steps, we came to believe that a Power greater than we could fix what we couldn't. Our role in life changes as a result of the Steps. We watch the way God might be moving in the life of a friend or loved one, and we aim to support God's handiwork. We watch the ways our sponsor offers support, always encouraging us to accept situations we cannot change, or getting back to change situations we can. When I try to fix others, it doesn't work very well. All I can really do is be supportive in their efforts and focus on fixing myself. ************************************************** ~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~ Change and growth take place when a person has risked himself and dares to become involved with experimenting with his life. ~ Herbert Otto ~ On our path, we take the unique circumstances that life presents and seek ways to use them in positive ways. Our path is long, with many turns and bends that lead beyond what we can see in advance. The most cautious person might hold back from the unknown and try desperately to control the future. Risk-taking is an important ingredient in good mental health because it opens possibilities to us that the safest choices will never give us. We have taken unwise risks in the past and now we are tempted, in recovery, to hold tightly to safety. But a balanced life calls us to take constructive risks. We might risk asking someone to be our sponsor, even when we don’t know how he will respond. We might risk letting ourselves fall more deeply in love than we have ever been before. We might risk telling a friend about a long-held secret, simply to let him know us better. We might risk applying for a job that will challenge us. There is room for us to try something, miss our mark, and still learn from the experience. Today I will feel the thrill and excitement of taking a constructive risk. ************************************************** ~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~ I honor every woman who has strength enough to step out of the beaten path when she feels that her walk lies in another, strength enough to stand up and be laughed at, if necessary. ~ Harriet Hosmer ~ It’s never been easy for women to dare to be different. The messages that surround us seldom encourage us to pursue unconventional passions. Fortunately, we who are on this recovery journey get personal guidance from our Higher Power and our sponsors as we pursue the opportunities that beckon to us along new paths. We know, perhaps better than most, that we’ll be protected and directed each step of the way. We have gathered to make this journey together. We have needed each other all along; now we have each other every step of the way. We will find the strength we need from one another. We will joyfully follow our passions and find the happiness we deserve. I am on my way to fulfillment. Even when my path veers away from others, I’m in the company of my Higher Power and my friends. ************************************************** ~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~ I am beginning to see I need help I used to wish everybody would just leave me alone about how much I was drinking or how I was acting. I thought Why should I get into treatment or go to Twelve Step meetings? I don't have a problem. And I don't like my friends for saying I do. I was angry. I felt like running away I didn't like feeling rejected or being told what to do. But this was a little scary too. I had thoughts like, What if my friends are right after all? What if I do have a problem? What do I do then? I'm upset. This is confusing. I need to think about this some more. I still think this way sometimes. Now I know what I have to do. Today I will call my sponsor or best friend and talk about what's going on with me. ************************************************* ~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~ Lay hold of today’s task, and you will not depend so much on tomorrow’s. ~ Seneca ~ Our only true home on this earth is our body, and, though we might have abused it in the past, it is still keeping us in this life. We can reward ourselves for a good day by taking a long bath, eating a healthy meal, or getting some exercise. Our body will pay us back with the glow of good feelings. We have sometimes been sad or tense or angry and have not known how to rescue a day from disaster. Often the secret is held in the body itself. A walk in the park gives us time to reflect on our many gifts, and brings us fresh air and exercise. A nutritious meal helps restore our strength. In our recovery, we are learning to keep our balance, and that means including the body in our healing. When we become aware of our physical selves, we can become more grateful for our second chance in life. Our bodies don’t demand much in return — only that when we are hungry, we eat, and when we are tired, we rest. Our eyes still see the beauty in the world, our ears still hear the wisdom of friends and fellows, and our arms still share hugs. Today help me remember to treat my physical self with love. ************************************************** ~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~ When everything seems like an uphill struggle, just think of the view from the top. ~ Author unknown ~ One slogan you may often hear in recovery is “Easy does it.” You may even say it to yourself or to others, but what does it really mean? At those times when you are feeling stressed or de-pressed, you may wonder, “How is it even possible to take things easy?” When you are going through a difficult time, feel angry, or are hurt by what someone has said, the last thing you may want to do is think “Easy does it." Instead, you may want to scream, cry, or crawl into a dark hole. But “Easy does it” reminds you to think before you respond. It provides you with the opportunity to sit back, catch your breath, and reflect on what is really going on. You may find that the way in which you want to respond is an overreaction. You may discover you are taking things too personally or seriously. Or you may learn that you are striving to be overly responsible and have overbooked your day. “Easy does it” reminds you that you are only one person. You cannot do everything or be everything to everyone, but you are someone and you can do something. I will use “Easy does it” to set limits that are right for me. ************************************************** ~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~ Do what you can, with what you have, where you are. ~ Theodore Roosevelt ~ Suppose we were walking down a street when someone came over to us and said, "I want you for our Olympic volleyball team." We may protest, saying we haven't had the training or haven't developed the skills or even allowed time for this to happen. Yet we may treat the program as a different kind of example. We may jump right in and expect we'll grasp all the Steps and slogans, suddenly have a marvelous relationship with our Higher Power, and be ready to sponsor every fledgling that walks through the door. We can't join the Olympics today, and we certainly can't expect to master the work of the program today either. Each takes a great deal of time to develop the necessary skills. Each requires a dedication and perseverance that strengthen us as we grow stronger and more confident. Each requires us to feel like we're part of a team, which can't happen unless we meet all the members of the team and work with them. Tonight we're doing the best we can, with what we have, right where we are in recovery. Tonight I can participate as a member of an active recovery team, but I'm not ready yet to be the most valuable player. I need more time to work with myself and the team. ************************************************** ~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~ Expressing gratitude Gratitude is more than just being thankful. The principle of gratitude is a moral responsibility. If we are truly grateful, we will help others achieve what we have achieved. Next is the priority of gratitude. As soon as we know that God has changed our lives, we must let nothing interfere with what we know to be right. The propriety of gratitude shows us that our Higher Power is not a respecter of per-sons, and we deserve its grace as much as anyone else does. Then the purpose of our gratitude is not entirely for the benefit of the one blessed. The purpose is to shed light on the one who blessed us. Do my actions reflect my gratitude? Higher Power, help me always to remember to be grateful for what I have been blessed with and let me fully understand the magnitude of gratitude. I will show my gratitude today by God help me to stay clean and sober today! ************************************************** ~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~ After my morning's talk with God I go into my laboratory and begin to carry out His wishes for the day. ~ GEORGE WASHINGTON CARVER ~ Newcomer How do I know if I'm doing my Higher Power's will? Does my Higher Power really care what I do for a living, whom I associate with, what I eat for dinner? Or is praying for knowledge of my Higher Power's will for me just about morality? Sponsor Morality isn't the whole story, but it's part of it. Most of us have a good idea of what ethical behavior is. There are many guides for living, both religious and secular, but few of us need to rely on books for the answers. We know what's right or wrong by consulting our conscience. It does matter what we do. You mention making choices about food and friends and work. These aren't trivial things; they're the stuff of our lives. Any choice can bring us closer to the truth or further from it, can lead us toward addiction or recovery. Prayer and meditation illuminate these choices. They help us to know ourselves. My relationship with the Spirit comes from looking within. For me, Step Eleven is a reminder that I have the responsibility to bring my life into alignment with the deepest desires of my soul. Love, joy, gratitude—I've come to believe that these are necessities. My Higher Power's will for me includes nourishment for my spirit. God's will for me is written in my inmost being. Today, I read it with ease and joy. ************************************************** ~ THE EYE OPENER ~ Our philosophy of living does not reach as far as immortality—it concerns itself with living this life one day at a time. We do feel, however, that if we live this day to the best of our ability, endeavoring each day to improve over the preceding day, then when the time comes for us to consider immortality, we will be in a very favorable position, to say the least. ************************************************** ~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~ Self-Seeking Slips Away Today, God, help me remember not everything is about me. When I was using, thinking of myself was my whole existence. With abstinence, I began to practice understanding, humility, gratitude, caring, and sharing with others. By having faith in our Programs recovery Steps and their other-centeredness focus, I am reminded that I am a person who truly needs other people. ************************************************* ~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~ THEORETICAL CENTIPEDE Do not dissect things too much. By the time you have dissected a living thing you have killed it, and you no longer have the thing that you began with. Take a rose out of the bowl, pull its petals apart, count them, weigh them, measure them, and then, while you will have certain interesting information, you no longer have a rose. There is a place for analysis, but it is apt to be quite fatal in prayer and meditation. Do not dissect the love of God, but feel it. Do not dissect divine intelligence, but realize it. Do not wonder how God can possibly solve this problem, but just watch Him do it in His own way—and He will if you will give Him a chance. You know that God is Love. So go ahead on that, and do not get theoretical about it. Do you remember the old verse that says: A centipede was happy quite, Until a frog in fun Said, "Pray, which leg comes after which?" This raised her mind to such a pitch, She lay distracted in the ditch, Considering how to run. The righteous shall be glad in the Lord, and shall trust in him; and all the upright in heart shall glory (Psalm 64:10). ************************************************** ~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~ A New Face in the Mirror Behold, I make all things new. ~ Revelation 21:5 ~ A television news magazine reported on a group of cosmetic surgeons who are donating their services to women whose faces have been disfigured from battering and abuse. I was astounded to behold bruised, beaten, and scarred faces restored to smooth–ness and softness through skillful surgery. Even more amazing was the energetic transformation these women exuded when they looked in the mirror and for the first time in many years saw a countenance of beauty. Each of them laughed and shed tears of joy and appreciation; they never thought they would see a whole face again. On some level, each of us has felt beaten or battered by the world. And on some level, each of us has feared to look in the mirror, terrified that the scars we see will remind us of the pain we have accepted or inflicted on ourselves. Grace is available, and our life can be made new at any time. No matter how disfigured we appear or how grotesque we feel, we can become reformed and renewed. We do not have to see a cosmetic surgeon. The most skillful surgery takes place when we open our minds and hearts to become new and allow Spirit to shine through us. Let me see a new face in the mirror. Let me open my eyes and heart to the beauty I have forgotten. Renew my life by renewing my mind and my vision. I create a new life by thinking new thoughts. My life is changed because I am. |
November 4
Step by Step Today, focus on making the faith I have been given as a gift of intelligence rather than an emotional one. As an alcoholic, my emotions are usually in excess – and anything in excess is risky, including faith if I ground it in emotion. By striving for an intelligent faith, I hope to remove the influence of my unsteady emotions on the faith I need – one in which I have unconditional trust in my Higher Power as opposed to one in which I let my feelings challenge His will. And with an intelligent faith rather than an emotional one, hopefully those things I cannot control can be more faithfully surrendered to my Higher Power and, as a result, hopefully I will take a step toward the goal of total faith, hope and charity. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M. ************************************************** ~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~ SECURITY I'm gonna stand my ground, won't be turned around, and I'll keep this world from draggin' me down. Gonna stand my ground, and I won't back down. ~ Tom Petty ~ Security is the result of a dedicated effort toward a goal. We feel secure in our Fellowship, some more, some less. Security comes from the safety and confidence we get from building on the working principles of our Program of spiritual growth. We know that our progress can never be taken away from us by force or under-handed dealings of others. Our belief in the security of the Program defies those who try to betray our trust or draw us back into addiction. Security is the knowledge that it is possible for the most hopeless and helpless victims of any addiction to find recovery. Security is also a shield against our own acts of carelessness or feelings of overconfidence. I have come to feel secure in the Program and my recovery. I won't let others or myself bring me down. ************************************************** ~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~ Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that. ~ Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. ~ What darkness do we feel in our lives today? Are we troubled by a relationship? Is guilt about past mistakes clouding our peace of mind? Do we feel threatened by a challenge that looms before us? Perhaps we live with an illness or we feel trapped by our life’s circumstances. Darkness is universal. It is one side of the coin of life. We cannot not respond to this darkness. The question always is, how will we respond? Many times our established ways of responding to our situation only perpetuate the problem. So we must now seek a way to respond differently. We can do the counterintuitive thing. If we can forgive ourselves, it is easier to forgive others. If we first calm ourselves in the face of challenge instead of letting ourselves panic, we will bring our better self to cope with it. If we respond to anger and hate with genuine loving honesty, we may change the nature of a relationship. Light and love are also universal, and we can choose to walk in the light. Today I will respond with calmness and a loving frame of mind. ************************************************** ~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~ I will never be able to feel the love someone wants to give to me unless I am loving myself ~ Betty MacDonald ~ Loving ourselves sounds so simple, but how do we do it? Learning more about who we are is a good first step. The Fourth Step inventory leaves little doubt about who we are, providing we are vulnerably honest. And after acknowledging who we are, we can begin the process of accepting what we can and changing what we need to. Self-love is the reward for carefully doing our work. The shame we feel for the person we think we are makes it hard to believe others could love us. Getting a more balanced view of ourselves changes our perspective. It becomes easier to love ourselves when we acknowledge how hard we are working to change. We want love. We deserve to be loved. We must be the initiators. Loving myself may take effort, but if I remember that I'm doing the best I can, and then do it, today will be easier. ************************************************** ~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~ I want to make new friends Because of my addiction and mental health problems, I don't have many friends—I gave up most of them. I got stable and sober, but they wanted me to keep using. So now I'm trying to make new friends at my recovery meetings. Usually, I feel shy and awkward. I guess I'm afraid of them—no chemicals to lower my inhibition—and maybe they're afraid of me. Yet I am tired of all my fear. I'm a good person who can be a good friend. Maybe it's up to me to break the ice. I will pray for courage, and at my next meeting, I will start a conversation with a member of my group. ************************************************* ~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~ When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us. ~ Helen Keller ~ Constantly living in the past is as harmful as always dreaming about the future. It leaves no time for making the most of the present. But we can use what we’ve learned about the past to make healthy choices about the future. In recovery, we learn to look with forgiveness and without shame at who we were. Gradually, we develop a desire to live in our lives today without dwelling on the past. Because recovery helps us make peace with all the warring elements in ourselves, we can move into our new selves and our renewed lives, with greater security and serenity, as a whole person. We still may think about all that might have been or all that may be. That’s useful. But to dream is different than to dwell with anger and resentment, and now we can tell the difference. Now we know that making peace with our past frees us from that obsessive backward glance — frees us to see what lies ahead. Now we can face the future with serenity and continued spiritual growth. Today help me lay one more chapter of my past to rest. Free me from my regrets. ************************************************** ~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~ We are members of a vast cosmic orchestra in which each living instrument is essential to the complementary and harmonious playing of the whole. ~ J. Allen Boone ~ Migrating geese fly in a magnificent V pattern in the sky. As beautiful as this pattern is, it also serves a meaningful and useful purpose. When a bird flies slightly behind the bird in front, it experiences a reduction in wind resistance. With less resistance, the tailing geese have an easier flight and can endure longer before they tire. Because the birds must fly great distances to reach their new homes, they will often shift positions in flight; as one grows tired, it will fall back and enjoy an easier flight behind the goose that has conserved its energy. The V formation also serves another useful purpose, which has been replicated by military pilots. With each goose in clear sight, it is easier to monitor all members o( the group and to communicate important information, Your recovery can be seen in a similar way. When you are weak, others can strengthen you. When you are strong you can empower others. Share your journey with others, and the path to your recovery will be that much easier in follow. I am connected to everyone in recovery. I share in their journey and need to be united with them so everyone can stay strong. ************************************************** ~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~ Free will is not the liberty to do whatever one likes, but the power of doing whatever one sees ought to be done, even in the very face of otherwise overwhelming impulse. ~ George MacDonald ~ There are certain things we cannot do, whether they are restricted by law, are moral issues, or are safety concerns. We may know this now, but in the past this fact may have meant little to us. We may have driven drunk, beaten partners, or verbally or sexually abused our children. Free will doesn't mean we can do anything we please. Free will means doing things like changing bad tempers, drinking habits, or unacceptable behaviors. With free will, we have the choice to make changes, even though they may be difficult. Nothing is impossible if it is within our control. We can use free will to opt for change and improvement. With free will, we can choose when and how we will change. If we choose, we can begin tonight. Are there changes or improvements I can make in my life? Help me know I'm free to change these things whenever I'm ready. ************************************************** ~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~ Expressing love Our fellowship is saturated with love and caring. We can touch one another and know that it comes from the Spirit. In the beginning, some confuse this love with sexual desire. A man may cringe when first embraced by another man, but the love we receive from our Higher Power is pure and needs no justification. An embrace is an embrace of love. Now, we can freely express our love for each other. It’s the same love that flows from our Higher Power. All true expression of love is good. Do I know how to express my love outwardly? Higher Power, let me express love from you in some way today, if only by touching another’s hand. Today I will openly express my love to God help me to stay clean and sober today! ************************************************** ~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~ Come what may, I have been blessed. ~ GEORGE GORDON, LORD BYRON ~ Newcomer People are always saying, "There are no coincidences." I don't know what that really means or what to think about it. If some Higher Power cares about me, then what about the years when I was active in my addiction? Where was my Higher Power then? Sponsor Miracles don't all happen instantaneously. The desire to heal was in me long before I was able to enter recovery, but I didn't understand or acknowledge it. I didn't even know what was wrong with me. The process of identifying my central problem as one of addiction—and of beginning to hear that there was help for me—didn't happen overnight. Recovery is such an immense gift in our lives that it's hard to understand how it happened. Many of us were led to it with the help of a particular person who seemed to appear at the critical moment. For some, a seemingly chance phone call or encounter influenced our decision to come to a meeting. We may feel as if we were brought here at exactly the right time. And it's true—we were! I thank my Higher Power for this day, and for every day leading to this day. ************************************************** ~ THE EYE OPENER ~ A large number of people come into AA antagonistic to Churches, yet most everyone recognizes the fact that Churches have a vital role to play in the development of civilization generally. If religions are not what they ought to be, it is because we are not what we ought to be. The Church's failure is man's failure. Man is the culprit that relegated spirituality to second place behind creeds and dogmas. Instead of Churches leading men, men are leading Churches. ************************************************** ~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~ Attitude and Outlook God, help me to work on a positive attitude and outlook in my life. Help me adapt to the real world no matter how different and difficult it seems. During my addiction, I tried to escape reality and live in a world of fantasy. Recovery has taught me I can't change the facts of living, but 1 can change my attitude toward them. Today, I will learn new attitudes toward life's challenges and practice new solutions by working the Program. I'm learning to live in the real word with a healthy attitude and outlook. ************************************************* ~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~ THE GOOD GOD God knows everything, and at all times. The Bible sometimes speaks of God as having changed His mind or being disappointed. God is supposed to have tested Abraham's obedience in the matter of Isaac. God is supposed to have had His plans upset by the misconduct of Adam and Eve, by the general wickedness of humanity before the flood, and, in fact, He is frequently represented as being disappointed and even frustrated by the conduct of mankind. In orthodox theology, the devil was continually upsetting God's arrangements and bringing his plans to naught. Indeed, to listen to some preachers, one would have supposed that the devil was a good deal more powerful than God. Of course, alt this is nonsense. Such things could not be really true of God. It was Abraham's idea of God that led him to prepare to kill Isaac. It was the wickedness of mankind in the antediluvian world that brought on the flood as a natural consequence, just as the fears, hatreds, jealousies, and greed of mankind over many years have brought on war. We make an idolatrous image of ourselves and call it God. Let us destroy this image today and worship the true God who is infinite and unchanging Good. God is not a man, that he should lie; neither the son of man, that he should repent. . . (Numbers 23:19). ************************************************** ~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~ Follow Your Star On the whole, as this wondrous planet, Earth, is journeying with its fellows through infinite space, so are the wondrous destinies embarked on it journeying through infinite Time, under a higher guidance than ours. ~ Thomas Carlyle ~ Every winter, the magnificent humpback whales come to Maui. In a basin about 30 miles in diameter, these gentle giants play, mate, sing their haunting songs, and give birth. In April, the humpbacks return to the north Pacific, where they feed until they return the following December. Astonishingly, the same whales return to precisely the same place every year. Although they traverse three or four thousand miles in each direction, they pinpoint the same tiny basin in the middle of a huge ocean. To me, this is compelling proof that the Great Spirit has imbued all creatures with the wisdom to be in their right place at the right time. The blueprint of our destiny is etched deep into our psyche, along with the guidance to achieve it. As spiritual beings, we have the capacity to find the place in life where we feel most at home. Each of us has a right living situation, relationship, career, and spiritual path that our internal guidance system will show us if we relax and cooperate. We don't have to add any intelligence; we just need to let go of all thoughts and activities that obscure our innate knowledge. Should you doubt your ability to fulfill your destiny, remember the whales. Consider dogs and cats who find their way home after being lost many miles away, and remember the birds who fly south for the winter and return to the same backyard in the north. If God cares so carefully for the birds, surely we are known and loved, and our way shall be made clear. I place my life in Your hands, trusting that You always lead me to my right place and my highest good. I give my life to God to guide me today. |
November 5
Step by Step Today, if I woke up sober and went through the day without a drink, if I did at work, home or wherever else what I was expected to do and did it without complaining and maybe even thanked my Higher Power for something good, if I reacted with logic and ethics and without emotions like anger, fear or revenge, if I am ending this day without a drink, a hit or a pill, then today was good. For that I owe gratitude and indebtedness to AA and its members who have ever been part of my journey from the despair of emptiness, loneliness, drunkenness, fear and a shattered soul. Tonight, I am grateful because I am sober – and, God granting, I will awaken sober. Today, it was good. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M. ************************************************** ~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~ CRISES A problem shared is a problem halved. ~ Anonymous ~ Working the Steps strengthens us to meet crises head on. Above all, the Steps show us that we never need to fear problems like we did in the old days. We learn to face crises with confidence and a faith in our ability to cope. When a crisis brings us up against a problem that is a complete surprise, we meet it with an effort to do the best we can. We ask the help of others and our Higher Power. Crises come in all sizes. They can be minor annoyances or earthshaking adventures, but we know that we must always confront a crisis as soon as it develops. Recovery doesn't promise us a life without crises, but a better way in dealing with them. Helping others in trouble and giving away the knowledge we have been given by coping with crises helps us grow spiritually. Today, I'll remember to face crises when they happen, and cope with them. I will ask for help when I need it. ************************************************** ~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~ The will to win means nothing without the will to prepare. ~ Juma Ikangaa, Tanzanian runner ~ Recovery and healing are not a matter of triumphantly grasping victory in our hands, no matter how much we might want to do that. Rather, our part is the hard work of getting ourselves ready to receive the healing that comes to us. The Twelve Steps are the work of preparing ourselves. We can work at learning what it means to surrender; we can work at taking personal inventory—and these things help prepare us. The healing comes when we are ready, not as something we bought and paid for, but as a gift in response to being ready. Today I will continue to work to ready myself to receive the gifts of recovery. ************************************************** ~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~ We are following a mystery we can never understand until we experience it. ~ Jacquelyn Small ~ How many times have we exclaimed, “If only I had known that was going to happen!” We think we’d be better off knowing the future before it arrives. It’s quite by design that we don’t, however. We are given all the information we need when we need it, just as we are given the experiences that fit the plan that God has for our lives. It helps to reflect a few moments each time we fear the unknown. We’ll easily recall that much of the past confused us at first, but all of our experiences dovetailed appropriately, bringing us here, now. And our lives no longer look mysterious given the gift of hindsight. We are on a charted course to a planned destination. We will understand our role in this life when the proper time presents itself. Until then, let’s enjoy the mystery. My life is special and fully understood by my Higher Power. I’ll get glimpses of understanding as I need them today. ************************************************** ~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~ I want to let people know me better People ask me how I'm doing these days, but even if I could tell them, would they understand? At my support group, people often seem like strangers. Nobody knows me. Would they accept me if they did? I'm lonely. It's hard for me to trust anyone right now. I'm afraid to let anyone get close. And yet people seem to want to help me. If I let them, maybe I could make friends. I know I would feel stronger and less lonely if I did. Maybe now is the time to let go of some of my fear. At my next meeting, I will practice being friendly and make eye contact with my fellow members. ************************************************* ~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~ Despairing adults seem to forget that they can take care of themselves, and that they can solve most problems alone. ~ Brenda Schaeffer ~ All of us were frightened as children. None of us had all our needs met growing up and as adults we are left with the challenge of filling in the empty places. Sometimes we get so lost in the pain of our past that we bring that “frightened child” into our daily lives and feel small and powerless again. Learning to grieve the losses of our past and, at the same time, to claim our power as adults, brings balance and direction to our lives. As adults we have the ability to take hold of our lives and make healthy changes. We are no longer powerless children, but choice-makers who deserve to be happy and have our dreams come true. In moments of panic and indecision it helps to remember that life is different today. We do have choices. We can make good decisions. We have the resources to follow through on healthy choices. Remembering we are powerful, gifted, and resourceful will help lift our spirits and bring us renewed hope. Today let me remember my strength, resources, and power. Help me move forward as I claim the life I want ************************************************** ~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~ Determine that the thing can and shall be done, and then I we shall find the way. ~ Abraham Lincoln ~ It can be a common experience for those in recovery to experience times of dark thoughts, despair, hopelessness, or even suicidal feelings. If you have been depressed for a while or if such feelings have caused disruption in your life, it would be a good idea to consult a therapist. Some forms of depression benefit from prescribed anti-depressant medication and regular sessions with a therapist. But if you find that you experience bouts of depression from time to time, it is important to be aware of this occurrence and to stay as active and engaged as you can. Even when you do not feel like going to a meeting, go. Even if you feel that you have nothing to give to anyone or anything else, volunteer. Even if you feel like you do not want to leave your house, get outside. Partner such efforts with a reward system. Go to a meeting when you least feel like it, and then reward yourself with the opportunity to stay at home the following evening. By giving yourself an incentive, you may be more inclined to engage in an activity that will help ease your feelings of depression. Today I will create a reward system to use whenever I feel depressed. ************************************************** ~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~ One never notices what has been done; one can only see what remains to be done. ~ Marie Curie ~ Here's a familiar scene: Several people have come to our homes ready to sit down to a turkey dinner with all the fixings. In the kitchen is a dirty oven, messy pots and pans, cluttered counters. Which do we think about—the wonderful dinner we have prepared for family and friends or the kitchen? Many times we notice what has to be done, not what has already been done. When we first came into the program, we learned we had so much to do: detaching, admitting, accepting, working the Steps, working on ourselves. We may have felt overwhelmed at what needed to be done, but old-timers may have pointed out what we already had done—we came to the program to find help. Tonight, are we thinking about tomorrow or a week from now? There are many things left for us to do. But for right now, we can look at what we have accomplished in our lives, our careers, our families. We have done so much, if we can only recognize it. Tonight I can give myself credit for all the growth and gains. I have done well! ************************************************** ~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~ Giving joy We deserve to have beautiful things and need not continue disparaging and punishing ourselves for our past behavior. If someone wants to give us something, we can accept it! They have a right to the joy of giving, and we have a right to the joy of receiving. We also have a right to the joy of giving so others may receive. We can give material things, we can give moral support, we can give a friendly ear, and, best of all, we can give love. These are the beautiful things. Have I learned to give? Higher Power, help me to be able to give and to receive in a true and loving spirit Today I will give something of value to God help me to stay clean and sober today! ************************************************** ~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~ You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. ~ ELEANOR ROOSEVELT ~ Newcomer Everybody in recovery seems to have his or her own prescription for enlightenment: a self-help book or therapist or meditation group, a guru or religious institution. People are always telling me what works for them. I've tried so many things that I'm starting to feel like a New Age cliché. Why can't I stick with something? Sponsor I can hear your hunger for spiritual connection. Once we've gone through the early stages of recovery, once survival is no longer the primary issue, many of us discover our capacity and desire for a spiritual path. This is a spiritual program; that's why it works. It saves lives. Like you, I'm committed to working the program, coming to meetings, sharing, giving service, "practicing these principles" in everything I do. Without this program as my foundation, I wouldn't have much of a life today. But, for me, the program is a gateway to spiritual practice, not the practice itself. Your exploration of various spiritual paths suggests that you're searching for a spiritual center. But why the constant darting from place to place that you've described? Perhaps you haven't found your "spiritual home" yet. Or perhaps sitting still and experiencing feelings as they arise may be frightening. Though facing these feelings may seem over-whelming, they won't destroy you. All true spiritual paths lead within. Today, I have the willingness to be still and go within. ************************************************** ~ THE EYE OPENER ~ One of the first things we should endeavor to do is to kill the lawyer instinct in ourselves. In our effort to get the new guy straightened out we try to cure all his troubles by giving advice on subjects on which we possess neither the training nor ability to talk constructively. Let us confine our efforts as far as possible to those things of which we have real knowledge — his sobriety and the AA Program. ************************************************** ~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~ Fear and Insecurity Lord, continue to show me I don't have to fear people. When deep in my compulsions and obsessions, I was terrified of people, especially those who loved me. This new way of life has created a feeling of safety. My new friends, surroundings, and tools for living are lifesaving. Managing finances within a budget has produced far less stress. I pray for an attitude of financial responsibility in thought and action. ************************************************* ~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~ BRAINS OR EXCELSIOR You all know the Great Law. One way of stating it is to say: Like produces like. What we sow in thought we reap in experience. People know that these things are true, and yet in spite of this transcendent knowledge they constantly use the Great Law for their own destruction. They would not dream of pouring water in the gas tank of their car, or sand into their watch, or broken glass into their food; but they do something just as foolish every time they think, speak, or act negatively. One cannot help wondering what such people have inside their heads—brains or excelsior. In future, when you catch yourself thinking negatively, say to yourself severely, "Brains or excelsior?" and immediately switch to what you know to be the Truth of Being. Knowing that whatsoever good thing any man doeth, the same shall he receive of the Lord . . . (Ephesians 6:8). ************************************************** ~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~ Whose Business? It’s not enough to be busy The question is: What are we busy about? ~ Henry David Thoreau ~ When Jesus was young, his parents took him to Jerusalem. In the midst of their errands, they discovered that he had wandered off. After searching, they found him on the steps of the great temple, lecturing to learned men. When they asked Jesus why he had gone off on his own, he answered, “I am about my Father’s business. ” Whose business are you about? Do you remember your purpose as a divine being, here to give and receive love, discover great truths, and celebrate life? Or, have you become so caught up in the busy-ness of every–day life that you have all but stifled the voice of peace that calls to you from deep within your heart? My teacher Hilda gave a lecture in which she affirmed, “If you take care of God’s business, God will take care of yours.” After her program, someone asked me for a ride home to an area out of my way. At the time, there was a gas shortage, and only a few stations were open at night. Remembering Hilda’s lesson, I trusted Spirit to care for me, and I gave the fellow a ride. After dropping him off, I had just a little fuel, and I had to go onto a freeway on which there were no services. On the last corner be–fore the freeway, there was a gas station open at midnight?a practically unheard-of situation at that time! Remember your purpose as a spiritual being, and all of your needs will be taken care of, sometimes in miraculous ways. I pray to keep my priorities in order. My business is love. I live from my heart and trust that all my needs will be met. |
November 6
Step by Step “When we first come into AA, many of us are confused because, as a general rule, we’re at the end of our respective ropes, and we don’t know what to do. It’s like the fellow who came in AA and his sponsor said to him, ‘Listen, buddy, do you believe in a Higher Power?’ And the guy said, ‘Heck, yes, I been married to her for years!’ Yes, we find it rather confusing but, as we get around and get to know people in the group, they lead the way and all we have to do is to follow.” – Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, “They Lost Nearly All,” Ch 8 (“Desperation Drinking”), p 512. Today, through the confusion of beginning recovery and even in sobriety, the answers are simply simple, and the simplest is “to follow.” We cannot nor should follow others in recovery for they, too, are in the same boat. Instead, all of us need to follow the Program and its 12 steps and traditions of ethics. Complications that arise are not from the program or traditions but from within; we make it as complicated, confusing or difficult as we allow it. Today, I will counter any confusion, complications or doubts with the simple motto, “Keep It Simple.” And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M. ************************************************** ~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~ BROKEN HEARTS Time wasted in getting even can never be used in getting ahead. ~ Anonymous ~ Many of us, during the course of our lives, experience a number of broken relationships. Some of them are very painful and stay with us for years. We often feel we have been harmed and hold onto deep resentments about the rejection. After many days, months, sometimes years, we bury our broken heart and carry on with our lives. Step Eight asks us to take another look at these relationships. We must dig up our broken heart and assume our responsibility for our part in the break. We come to discover that, whether we like it or not, we all have a part in the breakdown of a relationship. The way to help us heal a broken relationship is to make amends. As hard as it may be for us, we must make every effort except where we may harm someone. We must be honest, even if it means the amends are not returned. Today I'll remember that relationships always have two sides. I will take responsibility for my part in broken ones, and make amends where I can to the best of my ability. ************************************************** ~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~ That is the thankless position of the father in the family—the provider for all, and the enemy of all. ~ August Strindberg ~ Many of us feel like outsiders in our families. We sometimes feel like a paycheck and not much more to our loved ones. We grew up with absent fathers and we never learned how to live as fathers in the close circle of love at home. How can we move from an outsider position—or even an enemy position—into a full partnership with our mates and families? We can begin by showing our real selves. We take the risk of telling them what we care about, what we love, and how we feel. We say what scares us, what breaks our hearts, and what our past was like. The greatest gift we can give is to open our feelings and let our loved ones know us. These changes do not happen in a day or even a month. But gradually, with repeated expressions of ourselves, in the process of letting ourselves be known, we become loved for who we are, not only for what we can do. Today I will tell someone in my family how I feel. ************************************************** ~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~ There is an intuitive core at the depth of your being. ~ Helene Lerner-Robbins ~ Deep within ourselves, we know everything. We haven’t yet learned to tap this inner source of wisdom, but now that we have found this spiritual program, lessons will be forthcoming. This means that each of us is fully capable of understanding the best way to attain a serene life. Within our souls lie all questions and their answers. Our self- centeredness commonly blocks the information that’s trying to rise to our awareness. However, when we can keep our ego small, our humility large, we’ll understand clearly why we are here, what we need to know, what we have to do. When we are frustrated, it’s hard to believe that we have the wisdom we need within us. We race from one meager option to another, finding no solution. But if we still the mind, the information we seek will bubble forth. Hard to believe? Not once we’ve tried it. Hard to remember? Not with enough practice. I am wise. The knowledge I need today will rise to my mind’s eye. ************************************************** ~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~ I need to stay active Before recovery, I'd get high whenever I felt bored. But now that I'm sober (and stable), drugs are no longer an option. It's especially hard these days when I feel edgy and restless, when I don't know what to do with myself. The best answer I have right now is the Twelve Step fellowship. There, I'm not alone. I've heard others at my meeting say they've struggled with not knowing what to do with themselves or do with their time; many say they don't always know how to have fun. Through my program, I can stay in contact and stay active with safe, recovering people, as I slowly adjust to my new recovery lifestyle. I will ask my fellow group members what they do with their time and how they have fun. ************************************************* ~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~ The first act of bad faith consists of evading what one cannot evade, of evading what one is. ~ Jean-Paul Sartre ~ When did we learn to pretend to be other than we were? When did we learn that what or who we were wasn’t good enough — that we could never do or say or be enough? We learned in childhood, as did our parents, and their parents as well. Wearing a mask was a habit that evolved into becoming that mask, while our real selves disappeared. In many ways, our real selves are still untested. But unlike the old days when they’d emerge only under pressure, we now try our real selves on like new clothes — first in a locked room when no one’s looking; later, in the open air and finally, with other people. Being who we are is scary and awkward and strange at first, but it is an act of faith, one that builds upon the next act. These acts of faith are the process that is our recovery. Today help me show my real face, if only for a moment. ************************************************** ~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~ The doors we open and close each day decide the lives we live. ~ Flora Whittemore ~ Imagine you have broken your arm. You can go to the hospital, get your arm x-rayed and casted, and, when it is healed, do the rehabilitation work necessary to restore function and strength. Or you can ignore your broken arm and try to function as best as you can using only one arm. The choice is yours. Your life was broken before you came into recovery. Perhaps you ignored taking care of this breakage for a long time, working around it and all of the damage it was causing you and others. But eventually you came to the realization that being broken was no longer working. You chose to enter a program of recovery. By choosing recovery, you are also choosing to put forth the effort to live with abstinence and to engage in different ways of acting, thinking, and behaving than you did in the past. Simply put, you cannot recover unless and until you have made both the decision to recover and the commitment to this decision. Recovery is a choice that needs to be nurtured on a daily basis. You do this by continually exercising your power to choose and your free will to make decisions that are right for you. I want to recover. I choose to recover. I will recover. ************************************************** ~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~ Constant togetherness is fine—but only for Siamese twins. ~ Victoria Billings ~ Fusion in relationships can be self-destructive. Bonding so tightly with one person, with little time spent apart, is a perfect setup to addiction. When we become addicted to a person, we can be as desperate and suffering as an addict without a fix. Growing up, we may have spent hours fantasizing about how wonderful relationships were. We may have placed so much hope in dreams of a perfect relationship that once we met someone, we unconsciously smothered the other person and ourselves in togetherness. We may have believed time spent apart meant our partner didn't love us or care to be with us. Each flower in a garden has a separate set of roots, separate stems, leaves, and buds. Although the flowers may be the same variety, each is different in a subtle way. Similarly, we grow with our partner, like two separate flowers sharing the same garden. Our roots may intertwine and our leaves touch, yet we still grow and flourish separately from the other. Tonight I can spend time flourishing on my own, relaxing for a peaceful night's sleep. ************************************************** ~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~ Welcoming new ideas No group has a harness on the program or on our Higher Power’s will. Out of new assemblies emerge various thoughts on intervention and recovery. Provided that the program’s main purpose is not forgotten, new and creative endeavors can enlighten us. If we are narrow-minded, we miss opportunities to help others and to progress spiritually. Book-thumpers, hardnosers, do-it-on- your-own-timers—all of us contribute. And those who need our particular brand of help will be brought to us by our Higher Power. Am I receptive to new and different ways? Higher Power, as you help me to keep an open heart, help me to keep an open mind. Today I will look for new ideas by God help me to stay clean and sober today! ************************************************** ~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~ Be not ashamed, to say what you are not ashamed to think. ~ MICHEL DE MONTAIGNE ~ Newcomer I went to an Eleventh Step meeting last night. After the reading, someone shared that a fictional character from a movie had become her Higher Power! Doesn't that prove what nonsense this Higher Power stuff is? Sponsor I'm not at meetings to debate issues or shoot down my neighbor's concept of a Higher Power. I'm here to stay alive and in recovery, and to help others to do the same. When I'm practicing my own spiritual path with sincerity, I become less concerned about how others do it. We don't have to define a Power greater than ourselves as anyone else defines it, but we do have to find and acknowledge what that Power is for each of us. For some, it's the source of life. For some, it's our capacity to take responsibility and make ethical decisions. For some, it's love—our feelings and acts of caring for ourselves and others. When we hit bottom, some part of us finally gave up on the idea that we had to be our own Higher Power. Under-standing that remains essential if we're to live without addictive substances and behavior. Recovery gets side-tracked when we entertain the belief that our foundation is anything other than a Higher Power. Today, I acknowledge my relationship with a Power greater than myself. ************************************************** ~ THE EYE OPENER ~ According to St. John, God is Love. That appears to be the only description given and leads us to assume that it is His chief attribute. The fact that things are not always as we think they should be does not contradict it. Practically all our griefs we brought upon ourselves, many of them were essential in order to fully develop our characters, and many may be the result of God's long-range planning that we with our limited perception, cannot conceive. If God had not loved the world, He would have given up on it a long time ago. ************************************************** ~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~ Instinctively Know God, I pray the instincts that once compelled me toward addiction will continue to be redirected toward solving problems. By working the Steps, I have learned to face up to and solve the problems of everyday living that used to cause me to seek relief in my addiction. I trust I can handle situations with common sense and the help of my friends. ************************************************* ~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~ THE KAFFIR DIDN'T KNOW About the middle of the last century, a traveler was journeying along through what was then a remote part of South Africa. One day while smoking his pipe outside the hut in a native village, he noticed a group of little naked children playing what was evidently a native version of the time honored game of marbles. He watched the game idly for a while, and then something about the rough stones caught his attention. They were quite small pebbles, dull, but—here his pulse began to steeplechase. He spoke to the children's father, with studied carelessness, and the Kaffir said, "Oh yes, the children like these little stones. They have some more in the hut," and he brought forth a small basket containing several more. Repressing his excitement, the traveler took out a large plug of tobacco, worth perhaps twenty or thirty cents in our money, and said, "I would like to take the stones home for my children. I will give you this tobacco for them. Are you willing?" The Kaffir laughed and said, "I am robbing you but if you insist, all right," and the bargain was sealed—which not only enriched the stranger but led in time to the great discovery of the South African diamond fields. The fate of the Kaffir is really the fate of most human beings. Man holds a fabulous treasure in his possession—the power of the Spoken Word—and yet, in most cases, he does not know it. The Lord shall open unto thee his good treasure . . . to bless all the work of thine hand . . . (Deuteronomy 28:12). ************************************************** ~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~ Give Me a Sign Ask, and you shall receive. Seek, and you shall find. Knock, and it shall be opened unto you. ~ Jesus Christ ~ Marvin was confused about whether to leave his job in St. Louis and take a more lucrative position in Washington, D.C. After wrestling with the dilemma for a long time, he decided to turn the decision over to Spirit. “Just give me a sign!” Marvin prayed. Late that night when he went home, Marvin was stunned to find a “For Sale” sign on his lawn. “Well, there’s my sign,” he concluded. The next morning when Marvin asked his wife about the sign, she did not know what he was talking about. Marvin took her out to show her, and the sign was gone. But as far as Marvin was concerned, the move was a done deal, he had his sign. He accepted the position, which proved to be very fulfilling. Although all prayers for signs are not answered so dramatically, the universe will prompt us in a direction. A friend may utter a key phrase, we may notice a particular book on a coffee table, or we may see a symbol in a dream. In compassion, God is willing to point us in a direction if we ask sincerely and keep our antennae up for a signal. Show me what I am to do for the highest good of all concerned. I walk the way appointed by the hand of love. |
November 7
Step by Step “The last …years of my life have been rich and meaningful. I have had my share of problems, heartaches and disappointments, because that is life, but also I have known a great deal of joy, and a peace that is the handmaiden of an inner freedom. I have a wealth of friends and, with my AA friends, an unusual quality of fellowship. For, to these people, I am truly related. First, through mutual pain and despair, and later through mutual objectives and new-found faith and hope. And, as the years go by, working together, sharing our experiences with one another, and also sharing a mutual trust, understanding and love – without strings, without obligation – we acquire relationships that are unique and priceless.” – Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, “Alcoholics Anonymous Number Three,” Ch 12 (“The Keys of the Kingdom”), p 312. Today, I will not forget my beginning in AA and the “mutual pain and despair” with other newcomers and, now, the “mutual objectives and new-found faith and hope” of recovery and sobriety. Whether I recognize it, this is progress. If the pain and despair when I arrived in AA have been replaced with faith and hope, I am moving forward. I cannot expect sobriety to spare me the “problems, heartaches and disappointments” that come with life, but I can expect to meet them sober – as long as I do what Program advises: one step and one day at a time. Today, if I can say my despair of my first days in the Program has been replaced with hope and faith, I can also say I’m moving where I need to move – forward. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris, M. ************************************************** ~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~ SELF-APPROVAL We can gain other people's approval if we do right and try hard but our own approval is worth a hundred times more. ~ Mark Twain ~ It is a plus factor in character growth if others like us, especially if they believe we are worth knowing. But unless we like who we really are, what we are doing and what we want to make of ourselves by our own efforts, we are in danger of making little progress in building our self-esteem. We learn to be gentle with ourselves. We learn that not only do we forgive others but also we forgive ourselves. We develop an honest pride in how we have grown in our recovery program. We have learned in our Program that people-pleasing is a dead end. Those who, at times, feel that they are not really changing, should look in mirrors. Learning to like myself is one of the most valuable lessons the Program teaches me. My life is mine and not based on other people's approval. ************************************************** ~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~ Truly, when the need is greatest, then God’s help is always nearest. Should we not willingly offer our hands and heart where help is still possible? ~ Theresa Gerhardinger ~ In the Twelfth Step of our recovery program, we tell our stories to others who need to hear that there is hope. As we live in our circle of recovering people, we can lose sight of the fact that more people still die of their addictions than recover. We never forget how dismal and futile life becomes in the grip of addiction and codependency, and how desperately we needed a way out. By the grace of God, help was there for us. Now we find meaning and spiritual growth by telling our stories of hope to others. We still can slip into dark moods and self-pity. That is when we benefit most from reaching out, not so much to get help as to pass it on to those who need help. Sometimes the help we give is by inviting someone to come with us to a meeting. Other times we can give help by mentoring a young child, donating food to hungry people, visiting old people who are lonely, or volunteering at our community celebration. Today I will look for ways to reach out to others in need. ************************************************** ~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~ Learning and maturation in the life of the spirit: cannot be hurried, and as in physical and intellectual development, a great deal depends on our readiness. ~ Mary McDermott Shideler ~ We are ready for a spiritually directed life. It took us many stress-filled years to get here, and a number of us survived harrowing experiences during the journey. Even when we didn’t understand our search, we wanted security and knowledge of how to live. But we didn’t know we were on this path. Now that we’re here, some of us expect to know joy, serenity, and security in a flash. For a very few, a profound spiritual experience happens quickly. But most of us have to wait and work on our willingness and readiness to follow the path that leads to God. How do we become willing? The Steps will guide our actions and our thoughts, and make us ready to receive the blessings we seek God will recognize my desire for peace by the way I act today. I will have peace if I treat others peacefully. ************************************************** ~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~ I am understood and cared for I have a dual disorder. My parents don't much understand my illnesses. In fact, it feels as though they blame me for them sometimes. This is why I am grateful for my recovering friends in both my Step group and support group. They help keep me sober and stable. And through them I am coming to accept the fact that these illnesses are not my fault—and not understood by many people. I trust that if I stick with my recovery plan, I will continue to get better and get out on my own again. I have a higher power who is helping me see to that. Today I will meditate on my gratitude for all the caring people in my life. ************************************************* ~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~ Freedom is not safety, but opportunity. ~ Zechariah Chafee, Jr. ~ In early recovery, some of us heave a sigh of relief thinking the work is over at last, that now we can sit back and take it easy. We may think things will come easily to us now that we’ve done so much hard work. Then we find ourselves surprised when life goes on around us at its usual hectic pace. Things keep popping up, and not always things we like. At this point, some of us give up. We want life to be safe and calm. We feel we’re entitled to sunny days after so much rain. But we can’t stop the process of change. Instead, we can view change as an opportunity for growth. Every new situation offers us a challenge, and every challenge offers us the chance to strengthen our recovery muscles a little more. When we feel fearful and timid we can teach ourselves to be assertive. When we’re exhausted we can learn to care for our bodies so they can carry us in the days ahead. When our lives are too filled with stress we can leam ways to reduce our load and relax. When we face life this way, we become excited about change. Now we’re finding even more peace and serenity as we meet each new challenge with a joyful heart. Today help me to accept change as part of the challenge of recovery. ************************************************** ~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~ Excuses are the nails used to build a house of failure. ~ Don Wilder and Bill Rechin ~ Not everyone is blessed with artistic creativity, an athletic ability, or savvy business sense. But when you tell people that you cannot draw, sing, throw a discus, or cook, such things are simply not true. You can draw something, even if the image is scribbling. You can sing, even if it is off-key. You can try to throw a discus, even if it does not go very far. And you can cook something, even if it is as simple as boiling water for pasta. Saying “I cannot do this" whenever you face a task or opportunity that comes your way releases you from taking responsibility. Today resolve to make no excuses. Whenever you face something hard or seemingly insurmountable, say, “I will try.” Whenever you think you cannot make it through the day without a drink, say, “I will not drink at this moment.” Whenever you need to make amends to someone you have harmed, do not give excuses for why you did something. Simply say you are sorry. The life you create for yourself is one that will either be dictated by your excuses, or freed from the constraints excuses provide. Today I will create a way of life in which I make no excuses. ************************************************** ~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~ And if you but listen in the stillness of the night you shall hear. . . . It is Thy urge in us that would turn our nights, which are Thine, into days, which are Thine also. ~ Kahlil Gibran ~ How much would we benefit from the program if we went to meetings with cotton stuffed in our ears? We could use the Steps and read the literature, but how would we learn from others about the strength, hope, and experience of the program? Listen and Learn may be one of the hardest slogans for us to follow. Many times we come to meetings ready to dump our problems on the group. Sometimes we sit in judgment of those around us. Each of us, no matter what our background or age, shares a commonality. Each of us has something important to share, whether the words be delivered eloquently or with humor, sadness, or simplicity. We can pause before we speak to listen to others. By opening our ears, we are opening our minds to learn about ourselves through the words of others. Can I listen to those around me? What can I learn that might help me? ************************************************** ~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~ Pleasing ourselves Many of our character defects stem from a motive to be acceptable on a social level. We worry about our popularity, our career prospects, our financial future, our reputation, and so on. By trying to please others, we exaggerate our real capabilities and may even lie to impress people. We sometimes agree to do favors for others when we really can’t or when we don’t even want to. We become resentful. Others resent us or find us unreliable for not living up to our promises. We’re not here to please people for the sake of pleasing people. We’re here to please our Higher Power. Just know-ing this causes many of our character defects to fade. Do I know it’s not necessary to please everybody all the time? Higher Power, show me how to please you and me and how to stop worrying about pleasing others. I will try to please my self today by God help me to stay clean and sober today! ************************************************** ~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~ You have to believe in happiness. ~ DOUGLAS MALLOCH ~ Newcomer You've been encouraging me to take the risk of trying new things and thinking about what my personal goals are. I'm confused. If I pray only for knowledge of my Higher Power's will for me, aren't I negating myself? Does being sober mean I can't have any desires or goals of my own? Sponsor We know what our lives were like in active addiction; we know what they are in recovery. Something in us can see clearly that the real life, the one we're meant to have, the one our souls desire, depends on staying away from addictive substances and behaviors. Why imagine that the Source of Life wants us to have anything but full recovery, anything less than the ability to make our own sober choices? Would Eternal Truth require us to behave like puppets? Would a Creator want us to stifle the creativity within us? Our relationship with a Power greater than ourselves includes listening to our own hearts. Underneath fear, underneath shame, underneath rebellion, underneath self- rejection, there is wholeness, joy, and the desire to live. It's here that we find our true purpose and the way to fulfill it. Today, I trust the voice of health, sanity, and self-love that is growing more articulate within me. ************************************************** ~ THE EYE OPENER ~ Every one of us alcoholics arrived at the point where we felt that all was lost. If we had not felt this way we would never have confessed that our lives were unmanageable. It was a stupendous admission for us and would never have happened except for the desperation that engulfed us. Our lives had been totally wrecked, it is true, yet God has never yet failed to give man a second chance. Don't muff it. ************************************************** ~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~ God Is Doing for Us Dear God, as I practice patience, belief, and trust in surrendering to Your will for me, I now trust that solutions and miracles come in Your time, not mine. This Promise tells me I must accept Your help, not merely be resigned to it. I pray I will let go of my problems and turn them over to You with faith. ************************************************* ~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~ THE SECRET OF SUCCESSFUL SALESMANSHIP True salesmanship means finding out what your customer really needs, and supplying him with it; or if you cannot furnish it yourself, advising him to go elsewhere. Such a policy will not mean loss of business. On the contrary, working in this way you may lose one order but you will get half a dozen in its place—and you will have peace of mind. Any one particular sale does not matter; it is the annual turnover that counts. The policy, the Golden Rule, was taught by Jesus, the wisest and most practical teacher who ever lived. Salesman treat your customer exactly as you would like him to treat you if the positions were reversed. Tell him exactly what you would like to be told about the merchandise, if you were the purchaser; and if you will do this the whole universe will cooperate to make your business career an outstanding success. Teach me to do thy will, for thou art my God: thy spirit is good . . . (Psalm 143:10). ************************************************** ~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~ You Get Paid for This? Find out what you like doing best, and get someone to pay you for doing it. ~ Katherine Whitehorn ~ As I paged through Frank Levinson’s Adventures on Horseback guest book, I occasionally glanced out the picture window from his ranch, overlooking meadows, palm trees, and ocean panorama. Amid the many enthusiastic comments, one caught my eye: “And you get paid for this? I’m sending you my resume!” The writer was referring to the fact that Frank is living his dream and being supported for it. Frank has taken what many people consider vacation, and turned it into vocation. Here are some points to consider when trying to assess whether or not you are in your right job: You know you are in your right place if you feel you should be paying people to let you do what they are already paying you to do. And you know you are in your wrong place if you are laboring in a position that is made worthwhile only by the money. Some other good diagnostic questions for right livelihood are: Do you get up in the morning with a sense of enthusiasm, looking forward to what is before you? Do you feel creative and inspired to expand? Do you have more energy at the end of your work session than when you began? Do people thank you for making their life easier or more beautiful? Do you feel that Spirit is working through you to deliver results that you could not have manifested on your own? Would you want your child to create a profession with the attitude you hold toward yours? You deserve to be paid for doing what you love. You deserve to be up–lifted by what you do. You deserve to live your personal destiny through your vocation. Don’t waste any more time in an unfulfilling job; begin now to create the life your heart yearns to live. Someday someone will write in your guest book, “And you get paid for this?” Help me to find peace and fulfillment in my work. I am richly rewarded for following my dreams. |
November 8
Step by Step “We learned that we had to fully concede to our innermost selves that we were alcoholics. This is the first step in recovery. The delusion that we are like other people, or presently may be, has to be smashed. ‘We alcoholics are men and women who have lost the ability to control our drinking. We know that no real alcoholic ever recovers control. All of us felt at times that we were regaining control, but such intervals – usually brief – were inevitably followed by still less control, which led in time to pitiful and incomprehensible demoralization. We are convinced to a man that alcoholics of our types are in the grip of a progressive illness. Over any considerable period we get worse, never better.” – Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, Ch 3 (“More About Alcoholism”), p 30. Today, the first step in recovery is to concede that I am an alcoholic, that I can no longer drink responsibly – if I ever did – and that I will only get sicker and never better if I continue to drink. Disease, dis-ease, illness, condition or anything else, the word alcoholic is nothing more than a word. But if for whatever reason I cannot accept or even say it, I can say simply that I cannot drink and work toward a goal – sober alcoholic. As a sober alcoholic, I have the freedom to say I do not need and do not want to drink and to say that I am simply a person who does not drink. Today, I will start to live in the solution of sobriety and not in the problem of alcoholism. But I first must acknowledge that I simply cannot drink. Today, I cannot drink – it’s that simple. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M. ************************************************** ~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~ EXPECTATIONS For people who live on expectations, to face up to their realization is something of an ordeal ~ Elizabeth Bowen ~ We used to undermine our happiness with unrealistic expectations. We said we wanted to be happy, but our actions told a different story. We held onto resentments and grudges, because we expected life to be fair. We expected those around us to understand our needs with no effort on our part. We expected to be given all the good things in life simply because we thought we deserved to have them handed to us. Our Program teaches us to let go of expectations. We learn to face reality. We realize that life is not handed to us on a silver platter. We come to appreciate reality. We need to make fewer unrealistic demands on ourselves, others, and life in general. When I live on expectations, lam not living in the real world. I need to tone down my demands and appreciate the life I am living right now. ************************************************** ~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~ Other things may change us, hut we start and end with family. ~ Anthony Brandt ~ In our childhoods, our families formed our self-image and our understanding of what relationships are. We learned to either have trust in the system of intimacy that nurtured us, or to distrust the fibers of those close bonds. For some of us it is easier to trust relationships that aren’t close than to feel trust after they become close. Many of us become more fearful and anxious with someone after we are deeply involved with them because we were formed in childhood to feel wary. As adults, we are still developing and changing. No one reaches adulthood fully formed. Some of us have been stuck in our childhood state. But we are not limited to what we learned as children if we are willing to be challenged to grow in adult love. We have to give ourselves some slack when we make mistakes; there is always room for repair. And we have to grant the same to our loved ones. When we are willing to be honest about our feelings and willing to hear what our loved ones are telling us, we will continue to become better men. Today I continue my adult development to become a better man. ************************************************** ~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~ Because thoughts come from the inside, not from the outside, what we think determines what we see. ~ Jane Nelsen ~ It’s difficult to remember that we are in charge of our thoughts and thus what we experience. But it’s also exciting to contemplate all the changes we can make by focusing on positive thoughts. Perhaps we can try this together. Put this book aside for a moment and look closely at your surroundings. Think about how lucky you are to have a place to sit, a peaceful moment to contemplate your life. Think grateful thoughts about your friends and family. Notice how you feel when you have pleasant thoughts running through your mind. Our lives are as fruitful, hopeful, and peaceful as we choose. The show that goes on in our minds and is acted out in our experiences has been produced and directed by us. I am eager to experience my life today. Knowing that it will match my thoughts is exhilarating. ************************************************** ~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~ I am not to blame for my two illnesses What did I do to deserve the dual disorder of addiction and psychiatric illness? Why must I have both illnesses—isn't one enough? Sometimes I feel punished, as though I'd committed some crime. I brought this up at my support group and was reminded that I don't deserve my illnesses, didn't cause them, and cannot cure them. The group called them no-fault illnesses and emphasized the importance of acceptance. It was a relief to hear that, although I am responsible for working on both illnesses as best I can, I am not a bad person for having a dual disorder. I will read about Step One and pray for acceptance and strength. ************************************************* ~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~ People are lonely because they build walls instead of bridges. ~ Joseph F. Newton ~ The isolation of our illness can be devastating. And the more advanced we were in our disease, the more isolated we became. The journey back is a hard one, but to wake up in the morning and face the world with friends is a joyous triumph. We reach out to others like us and realize we are not alone in our suffering. The pain of our illness made us feel separate from others — as if we belonged to an entirely different race of people. We wondered how anyone else could feel the way we did. The fact is, we belong to a special group with special advantages: we know the symptoms of our illness and know what we can expect from our recovery. We can talk about our feelings with people who understand what we are feeling and why we are feeling that way And we have a way out of our pain and suffering — the Twelve Steps. We need never again feel isolated from others. Our group and the strength we’ve found from people just like us will be the bridge to our future happiness. Today help me know when I am isolating and give me the strength to connect with others. ************************************************** ~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~ Mirth is like a flash of lightning that breaks through gloom of clouds, and glitters for a moment; cheerfulness keeps up a kind of daylight in the mind, and fills it with a steady and perpetual serenity. ~ Joseph Addison ~ You may recall the first few meetings you attended, when you were filled with misery and in deep despair, and heard laughter and joking by others at the meeting. You may have felt put off by such behavior and thought, “How can people laugh at a time like this? How can getting sober be even remotely funny?” While alcoholism is truly a serious disease that, if left untreated, can have critical or even deadly outcomes, sobriety shows you a way of life that includes creating a balance between work and play. Recovery enables you to see the full spectrum of emotions—one that includes smiles as well as tears. Sobriety shows you that it is possible to have a good time without drugs or alcohol. Once you work the program, it may not be long before you can join into the laughter, joke around with others, and learn how to play and have good, clean fun. By entering the program, you have earned the right to laugh. Humor is an essential part of life that helps me stay sane and sober. ************************************************** ~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~ I had the blues because I had no shoes, until upon the street I met a man who had no feet. ~ Harold Abbott ~ A young man traveled to the city to apply for jobs. But first he wanted to buy new shoes to assure a good impression. He was so intent on getting to a shoe store that he nearly tripped over another man. This man had no legs and was sitting on a board with wheels, pushing his way along the sidewalk when the two had bumped. But the accident in no way slowed down the disabled man; he waved a cheery greeting to the young man and traveled on. How often are we so caught up in petty trifles that we don't notice others? The young man so concerned with shoes and a future job learned some people don't have to worry about shoes. What did we notice today? If we think back to to-day's events, can we remember little details about people, recall smiles and laughter, or recollect snatches of conversation? We can take time to notice more than our shoes. Sometimes I pay too much attention to my own issues. Help me notice other people and remember the time I spend with them. ************************************************** ~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~ Dropping our delusions While using mind-altering chemicals, we often operated under delusions of grandeur. We thought we didn’t have to take anything from anybody. We were confident we could handle everything. But if we remember correctly, when the landlady said, “Get out,” we got out. When the police said, “Get in,” we got in. Actually, we were pushed around a lot. By letting go of false pride, we clear the way for real confidence. Have I left my delusions behind? Higher Power, I am grateful for the freedom that comes with not having to be devious. I will cultivate humility today by God help me to stay clean and sober today! ************************************************** ~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~ Someone once asked me... whether I waited for inspiration. My answer was: "Every day!" ~ AARON COPLAND ~ Newcomer I've been praying for help in an area that is very difficult for me; I feel as if I've hit a wall, and I don't know what to do. The prayers don't seem to be helping. Is my Higher Power listening? Sponsor Our reserves of patience are so easily exhausted. We quickly move to discouragement and even despair when we don't get what we want when we want it. Problems may have been in our lives for years, but we are only now becoming aware of them in recovery. How can we expect them to clear up in a few weeks or months? We think that we're at the end of our rope, but perhaps our situation will seem less desperate if we acknowledge that, through prayer, we've made a beginning. Think of how patient our Higher Power was with us, all those years that we continued to be active in our addictions. Can we be that patient with ourselves, as we make progress in recovery? Instead of giving up, we can believe an answer will come, and can prepare to recognize it by keeping our lines of communication with our Higher Power open. Today, my daily prayers are part of an ongoing conversation with my Higher Power. I pray with confidence that I am in the process of receiving what I need. ************************************************** ~ THE EYE OPENER ~ It is a most comfortable feeling for us alcoholics to know that there is a vast host of friends in AA who are standing by. We pray to God we will never need them for an emergency and, with our new-found faith, we don't think we ever will, but it helps a lot to know that they are available if needed. It gives you a feeling of security akin to catching the fourth ace. ************************************************** ~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~ Happy Thoughts Lord, remind me that the past is just that. Protect me from my own thoughts. Take away the old tapes playing in my head. Fill my mind with thoughts of peace and serenity. Lead me into the light, away from darkness. Surround me with Your love. God, remind me that yesterday is gone; Tomorrow may never be; Today is all I have. ************************************************* ~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~ THE TWO SPIRATIONS Have you heard the old story of the two spirations? They are essential for every worthwhile achievement. If either is missing the enterprise is doomed to failure, and if you have not been making your life as successful as you would like, you must go to work and find which of them has been overlooked. I am sure it is hardly necessary to tell you that the two spirations in question are inspiration and perspiration. First you need inspiration. Sheer hard work, blind plodding, or brutal hammering will not bring Success. You must also have regular inspiration. Second, perspiration. There is no success without persevering hard work in the direction of your goal. Recently I heard one of the greatest living musicians address a class of musical students. He said, "I know of no road to success except hard work. If there is such a road I have not heard of it." I added in my own thought, "Work hard—but do not make hard work of it." Contact God daily for inspiration; and then work hard. Except the Lord build the house, they labour in vain that build it; except the Lord keep the city, the watchman waketh but in vain (Psalm 127:1). ************************************************** ~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~ It Takes Two You are your brother’s savior. ~ A Course in Miracles ~ When she performed weddings, my teacher Hilda gave one marriage vow: “Don’t fight on the same day.” She suggested, “You can be mad on Monday, and then your turn is on Tuesday. As long as at least one of you keeps your head at any given time, you will be all right. ” When I first heard Hilda’s advice, I laughed and thought her idea was a cute joke. As I went on to explore my own relationships, I realized that her suggestion was profound and had the potential to save much pain. A Course in Miracles echoes that relationships are safe as long as one per–son remains sane at any moment. Anger, upset, and blame are forms of temporary insanity. When two people lose their clarity simultaneously, the issue to which the insanity is applied seems real. If one person can hold his or her awareness of the light, while the other has slipped in the darkness, the light-holder will have the leverage to lift the other out. Two people in the dark have a much harder time finding the light. If your partner goes insane momentarily, hold your peace. Your upset will pass much more quickly if you do not agree to match it or fight it. Once my partner was quite upset, and she vented for about half an hour. I simply remained still and listened. Finally, she relaxed and said, “Thank you for listening—that is just what I needed.” If you temporarily lose your sanity, do not try to drag your partner to the netherworld with you. If they can keep their peace, do not be offended; you are blessed. Clarity is the greatest gift we can offer one another. I pray to remain sane when others lose their clarity, and that they do the same for me. Peace is my most powerful response. |
November 9
Step by Step ” …Are some of us just as biased and unreasonable about the realm of the spirit as were the ancients about the realm of the material? Even in the present century (20th), American newspapers were afraid to print an account of the Wright brothers’ first successful flight at Kitty Hawk. Had not all efforts at flight failed before? Did not Professor Langley’s flying machine go to the bottom of the Potomac River? Was it not true that the best mathematical minds had proved man could never fly? Had not people said God had reserved this privilege to the birds? Only 30 years later, the conquest of the air was almost an old story and airplane travel was in full swing. ‘…We had to ask ourselves why we shouldn’t apply to our human problems (a) readiness to change our point of view.” – Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, Ch 4 (“We Agnostics”), pp 51-2. Today, by simply changing my point of view if I still reject the possibility of a Higher Power, I am poised to take the Second Step: “Came to believe that a Power greater than (my)self could restore (me) to sanity.” But why is belief and acceptance of a higher power helpful, if not required, for me to earn sobriety? A power greater than ourselves, simply, can strengthen us to do what we cannot do alone – stop drinking. That force might be able to achieve what once impossible for me alone – stop drinking. Men of any era deemed impossible accomplishments that, in subsequent eras, are taken for granted. If today I can open myself to a power stronger than myself, if I can ignore any religious implications, I can take an early but pivotal step toward recovery. I can “come to believe.” And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M. ************************************************** ~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~ EXPECTATIONS For people who live on expectations, to face up to their realization is something of an ordeal ~ Elizabeth Bowen ~ We used to undermine our happiness with unrealistic expectations. We said we wanted to be happy, but our actions told a different story. We held onto resentments and grudges, because we expected life to be fair. We expected those around us to understand our needs with no effort on our part. We expected to be given all the good things in life simply because we thought we deserved to have them handed to us. Our Program teaches us to let go of expectations. We learn to face reality. We realize that life is not handed to us on a silver platter. We come to appreciate reality. We need to make fewer unrealistic demands on ourselves, others, and life in general. When I live on expectations, lam not living in the real world. I need to tone down my demands and appreciate the life I am living right now. ************************************************** ~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~ Other things may change us, hut we start and end with family. ~ Anthony Brandt ~ In our childhoods, our families formed our self-image and our understanding of what relationships are. We learned to either have trust in the system of intimacy that nurtured us, or to distrust the fibers of those close bonds. For some of us it is easier to trust relationships that aren’t close than to feel trust after they become close. Many of us become more fearful and anxious with someone after we are deeply involved with them because we were formed in childhood to feel wary. As adults, we are still developing and changing. No one reaches adulthood fully formed. Some of us have been stuck in our childhood state. But we are not limited to what we learned as children if we are willing to be challenged to grow in adult love. We have to give ourselves some slack when we make mistakes; there is always room for repair. And we have to grant the same to our loved ones. When we are willing to be honest about our feelings and willing to hear what our loved ones are telling us, we will continue to become better men. Today I continue my adult development to become a better man. ************************************************** ~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~ Because thoughts come from the inside, not from the outside, what we think determines what we see. ~ Jane Nelsen ~ It’s difficult to remember that we are in charge of our thoughts and thus what we experience. But it’s also exciting to contemplate all the changes we can make by focusing on positive thoughts. Perhaps we can try this together. Put this book aside for a moment and look closely at your surroundings. Think about how lucky you are to have a place to sit, a peaceful moment to contemplate your life. Think grateful thoughts about your friends and family. Notice how you feel when you have pleasant thoughts running through your mind. Our lives are as fruitful, hopeful, and peaceful as we choose. The show that goes on in our minds and is acted out in our experiences has been produced and directed by us. I am eager to experience my life today. Knowing that it will match my thoughts is exhilarating. ************************************************** ~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~ I am not to blame for my two illnesses What did I do to deserve the dual disorder of addiction and psychiatric illness? Why must I have both illnesses—isn't one enough? Sometimes I feel punished, as though I'd committed some crime. I brought this up at my support group and was reminded that I don't deserve my illnesses, didn't cause them, and cannot cure them. The group called them no-fault illnesses and emphasized the importance of acceptance. It was a relief to hear that, although I am responsible for working on both illnesses as best I can, I am not a bad person for having a dual disorder. I will read about Step One and pray for acceptance and strength. ************************************************* ~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~ People are lonely because they build walls instead of bridges. ~ Joseph F. Newton ~ The isolation of our illness can be devastating. And the more advanced we were in our disease, the more isolated we became. The journey back is a hard one, but to wake up in the morning and face the world with friends is a joyous triumph. We reach out to others like us and realize we are not alone in our suffering. The pain of our illness made us feel separate from others — as if we belonged to an entirely different race of people. We wondered how anyone else could feel the way we did. The fact is, we belong to a special group with special advantages: we know the symptoms of our illness and know what we can expect from our recovery. We can talk about our feelings with people who understand what we are feeling and why we are feeling that way And we have a way out of our pain and suffering — the Twelve Steps. We need never again feel isolated from others. Our group and the strength we’ve found from people just like us will be the bridge to our future happiness. Today help me know when I am isolating and give me the strength to connect with others. ************************************************** ~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~ Mirth is like a flash of lightning that breaks through gloom of clouds, and glitters for a moment; cheerfulness keeps up a kind of daylight in the mind, and fills it with a steady and perpetual serenity. ~ Joseph Addison ~ You may recall the first few meetings you attended, when you were filled with misery and in deep despair, and heard laughter and joking by others at the meeting. You may have felt put off by such behavior and thought, “How can people laugh at a time like this? How can getting sober be even remotely funny?” While alcoholism is truly a serious disease that, if left untreated, can have critical or even deadly outcomes, sobriety shows you a way of life that includes creating a balance between work and play. Recovery enables you to see the full spectrum of emotions—one that includes smiles as well as tears. Sobriety shows you that it is possible to have a good time without drugs or alcohol. Once you work the program, it may not be long before you can join into the laughter, joke around with others, and learn how to play and have good, clean fun. By entering the program, you have earned the right to laugh. Humor is an essential part of life that helps me stay sane and sober. ************************************************** ~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~ I had the blues because I had no shoes, until upon the street I met a man who had no feet. ~ Harold Abbott ~ A young man traveled to the city to apply for jobs. But first he wanted to buy new shoes to assure a good impression. He was so intent on getting to a shoe store that he nearly tripped over another man. This man had no legs and was sitting on a board with wheels, pushing his way along the sidewalk when the two had bumped. But the accident in no way slowed down the disabled man; he waved a cheery greeting to the young man and traveled on. How often are we so caught up in petty trifles that we don't notice others? The young man so concerned with shoes and a future job learned some people don't have to worry about shoes. What did we notice today? If we think back to to-day's events, can we remember little details about people, recall smiles and laughter, or recollect snatches of conversation? We can take time to notice more than our shoes. Sometimes I pay too much attention to my own issues. Help me notice other people and remember the time I spend with them. ************************************************** ~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~ Dropping our delusions While using mind-altering chemicals, we often operated under delusions of grandeur. We thought we didn’t have to take anything from anybody. We were confident we could handle everything. But if we remember correctly, when the landlady said, “Get out,” we got out. When the police said, “Get in,” we got in. Actually, we were pushed around a lot. By letting go of false pride, we clear the way for real confidence. Have I left my delusions behind? Higher Power, I am grateful for the freedom that comes with not having to be devious. I will cultivate humility today by God help me to stay clean and sober today! ************************************************** ~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~ Someone once asked me... whether I waited for inspiration. My answer was: "Every day!" ~ AARON COPLAND ~ Newcomer I've been praying for help in an area that is very difficult for me; I feel as if I've hit a wall, and I don't know what to do. The prayers don't seem to be helping. Is my Higher Power listening? Sponsor Our reserves of patience are so easily exhausted. We quickly move to discouragement and even despair when we don't get what we want when we want it. Problems may have been in our lives for years, but we are only now becoming aware of them in recovery. How can we expect them to clear up in a few weeks or months? We think that we're at the end of our rope, but perhaps our situation will seem less desperate if we acknowledge that, through prayer, we've made a beginning. Think of how patient our Higher Power was with us, all those years that we continued to be active in our addictions. Can we be that patient with ourselves, as we make progress in recovery? Instead of giving up, we can believe an answer will come, and can prepare to recognize it by keeping our lines of communication with our Higher Power open. Today, my daily prayers are part of an ongoing conversation with my Higher Power. I pray with confidence that I am in the process of receiving what I need. ************************************************** ~ THE EYE OPENER ~ It is a most comfortable feeling for us alcoholics to know that there is a vast host of friends in AA who are standing by. We pray to God we will never need them for an emergency and, with our new-found faith, we don't think we ever will, but it helps a lot to know that they are available if needed. It gives you a feeling of security akin to catching the fourth ace. ************************************************** ~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~ Happy Thoughts Lord, remind me that the past is just that. Protect me from my own thoughts. Take away the old tapes playing in my head. Fill my mind with thoughts of peace and serenity. Lead me into the light, away from darkness. Surround me with Your love. God, remind me that yesterday is gone; Tomorrow may never be; Today is all I have. ************************************************* ~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~ THE TWO SPIRATIONS Have you heard the old story of the two spirations? They are essential for every worthwhile achievement. If either is missing the enterprise is doomed to failure, and if you have not been making your life as successful as you would like, you must go to work and find which of them has been overlooked. I am sure it is hardly necessary to tell you that the two spirations in question are inspiration and perspiration. First you need inspiration. Sheer hard work, blind plodding, or brutal hammering will not bring Success. You must also have regular inspiration. Second, perspiration. There is no success without persevering hard work in the direction of your goal. Recently I heard one of the greatest living musicians address a class of musical students. He said, "I know of no road to success except hard work. If there is such a road I have not heard of it." I added in my own thought, "Work hard—but do not make hard work of it." Contact God daily for inspiration; and then work hard. Except the Lord build the house, they labour in vain that build it; except the Lord keep the city, the watchman waketh but in vain (Psalm 127:1). ************************************************** ~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~ It Takes Two You are your brother’s savior. ~ A Course in Miracles ~ When she performed weddings, my teacher Hilda gave one marriage vow: “Don’t fight on the same day.” She suggested, “You can be mad on Monday, and then your turn is on Tuesday. As long as at least one of you keeps your head at any given time, you will be all right. ” When I first heard Hilda’s advice, I laughed and thought her idea was a cute joke. As I went on to explore my own relationships, I realized that her suggestion was profound and had the potential to save much pain. A Course in Miracles echoes that relationships are safe as long as one per–son remains sane at any moment. Anger, upset, and blame are forms of temporary insanity. When two people lose their clarity simultaneously, the issue to which the insanity is applied seems real. If one person can hold his or her awareness of the light, while the other has slipped in the darkness, the light-holder will have the leverage to lift the other out. Two people in the dark have a much harder time finding the light. If your partner goes insane momentarily, hold your peace. Your upset will pass much more quickly if you do not agree to match it or fight it. Once my partner was quite upset, and she vented for about half an hour. I simply remained still and listened. Finally, she relaxed and said, “Thank you for listening—that is just what I needed.” If you temporarily lose your sanity, do not try to drag your partner to the netherworld with you. If they can keep their peace, do not be offended; you are blessed. Clarity is the greatest gift we can offer one another. I pray to remain sane when others lose their clarity, and that they do the same for me. Peace is my most powerful response. |
November 10
Step by Step “Rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path. Those who do not recover are people who cannot or will not completely give themselves to this simple program, usually men and women who are constitutionally incapable of being honest with themselves. …Their chances are less than average.” – Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, Ch 5 (“How It Works”), p 58. Today, if enough is enough, if despair cuts too deeply, if fear gained the upper hand, if my lies are so many that I can’t lie to even myself anymore, I seek the strength to take control and say no more to all of it and, especially, commit myself not to be one of those who are “constitutionally incapable.” Whether I am struggling not to drink but the bottle is winning or if I am giving temptation or craving the upper hand, today enough is enough and I muster the brutal honesty needed to avoid being one of the “constitutionally incapable’s.” If I allow dishonesty to be the way of my life, I have little chance of taking back control of my life and getting sober. I will not fall deeper into the gutter, nor will I keep lying to myself and anyone else simply because it has become a habit – even when telling the truth is easier. Today, I begin the work to become “constitutionally capable.” Honesty is the starting gate. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M. ************************************************** ~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~ MIRACLES The age of miracles is forever here. ~ Thomas Carlyle ~ So many wonderful, unexpected things happen to us in recovery. We are convinced early in the Program that miracles can happen to all who work toward spiritual progress. The fact that we found our way to the Program is itself a miracle. That we have learned how to stay abstinent is another. That we are living a new and better life is still another. With the help of our friends, our Program, and our Higher Power, we experience miracles of discovery and growth all the time. As long as we face each day with honesty and gratitude, those miracles will continue to be ours. It is said that the greatest miracle would be to return from the dead. Before recovery began, we were among the living dead. Today we are all miracles. Today and every day, I will remember to thank my Higher Power for the miracles I've found in recovery. ************************************************** ~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~ Patience and passage of time do more than strength and jury. ~ Jean de la Fontaine ~ It’s part of our masculine style: when we see a problem, we want to get out our tool kit and fix it. We admire strength and the ability to remedy any problem. That’s not always bad, but as we get older and wiser we learn that not everything can be fixed with a hammer. Masculine strength and aggressiveness don’t solve all problems. A savvy man who has been around the block a few times learns other approaches to problems. We learn that patience and timing are incredible forces for accomplishing great things. As we continue to focus on our own recovery and transformation, sometimes we feel impatient for the rewards and the peace of mind that are promised in this program. The best remedy for impatience is to turn our attention back to the challenges and the rewards that this particular day brings. They are sufficient for us to deal with. Today I will remember that time is my friend and is working on my side. ************************************************** ~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~ Don’t just want. Choose. ~ Patricia Benson ~ For many of us the fog is only beginning to clear. It takes awhile to understand that all along life has been about making choices. Because we were under the influence, we inadvertently rolled into many situations with unclear intentions. Not being conscious of our choices, however, doesn’t absolve us of the responsibility for making them. Now we have the opportunity, with the help of the program, to take charge of our choices. We can, with thought, make responsible choices. We are assured the gift of empowerment when we actively take charge of our choices. We used to want things to work out without doing our part or asking for what we needed. Or we never consciously made choices. What has become so very clear is that not choosing is in fact choosing! And, no doubt, we are still saddled with the results of some of the “choices” we never intended to make. No longer does this need to be our life pattern. Today is a new day, and this program is giving us every tool we need to embark on a new course. I will grow in confidence the more I consciously choose among my many options today. ************************************************** ~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~ I need to stay sober and stable At first I thought that if I just took my psychiatric medication, I would be OK. I thought that if my mood got brighter and I didn't feel so restless so much of the time, I wouldn't have to drink. But when my symptoms improved, I got a surprise—I found out I still wanted to use. I couldn't stop cold turkey, I needed to use. And my symptoms got worse after using. It's taken some time and some trial and error, but I now see that I must work on both illnesses at the same time. I will need a Twelve Step program to deal with my substance abuse. ************************************************* ~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~ They who forgive most shall be most forgiven. ~ P.J. Bailey ~ We come into the program with many resentments: “It was his fault I drank in the first place”; “If I’d gotten that job this never would have happened”; “I’m coming here to make my wife happy.” We are angry and we need to blame someone for our pain. And the hardest thing is to accept responsibility for our actions, to say, “I am here because of me.” But now we are here, ready to change. We soon learn that resentments are a danger that could lead us to relapse. And resentment hurts our self-love. To keep harboring resentments will hinder our recovery. So we take an inventory and share it with someone we trust, and begin to understand the self- defeating nature of resentments. We are slowly beginning to feel and express our anger. It can be freeing to realize that whether or not we confront the target of our anger makes no difference. We learn that resentments poison us and we don’t want to let them keep us from our Higher Power. In time, with help from our Twelve Step fellowship, we learn how to forgive and find peace in ourselves. Today help me take one step closer to forgiveness. ************************************************** ~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~ Try out your ideas by visualizing them in action. ~ David Seabury ~ Meditation can calm and relax you during times of stress, and can help you face some of the most difficult tasks in your life. Whether these are things you need to do as part of your daily routine or as part of your work in recovery, spending quiet time in reflection before you take action can help redirect your efforts and improve your outlook so you can be assured of a successful outcome. To do so, get into a comfortable space—one that is quiet and free from stress or outside interruptions. Lie down or sit in a comfortable position. You can use soothing music or silence to help you relax as you take slow, deep breaths. When you feel yourself relaxed and in a calm state of mind, consider the task that lies before you. Ask, “What do I hope to accomplish by taking this action?” Focus your mind and visualize having achieved your goal. Feel all of your feelings: a great sense of accomplishment, relief, happiness, or pride. You may now be ready and eager to forge ahead. Meditation has helped you develop a positive mind-set so you can take the necessary actions to bring about the results you desire. I will use meditation to help me take positive action. ************************************************** ~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~ Life consists of opposites in balance. ~ Marian Zimmer Bradley ~ Remember playing on a seesaw and trying to achieve the balance that meant we and our friends could sit on opposite ends of the board, suspended in the air without the board moving up or down? To achieve such a balance we had to have only one thing in common with our friend: similar body weight. Tonight we're still on that seesaw. We've spent our day trying to balance all that came our way. Some things may have weighed us down; others may have buoyed us in the air. Through living each day, we've learned that neither the high nor the low stays around long enough to tip the balance too far. No matter what sits down on the opposite end of our board of life, we need to remember achieving balance is the important thing. When we are balanced, it means we have equalized both the good and the bad with our strength, hope, faith, and security. The center of the board of life never moves. Help me to keep this center within me tonight. ************************************************** ~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~ Equal chances So-called hopeless ones exist in almost every Twelve Step group. Included on this list are people who seem different from us. We feel that our chances of recovery are better than theirs. Sometimes our minds twist the facts so that we can feel superior. Do we forget that we have all abused mind-altering chemicals? Do we forget that our common bond is a loving Higher Power, as we understand it—not our background, sexual orientation, age, or mental state? Our situations are many and varied. Anyone who has the desire to stay clean and sober and to start by being honest can make it. Our Higher Power loves all of us, and we all have equal chances. Do I extend my hand to all, even those I see as different from myself? Higher Power, help me to see every person as being loved by his or her Higher Power. Today I will work on my prejudices by God help me to stay clean and sober today! ************************************************** ~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~ Fear is an emotion indispensable for survival. ~ HANNAH ARENDT ~ Newcomer I have something to do that terrifies me. I've talked about it with other people, but nothing has taken away the fear. They make it sound easy, but then I hang up the phone, and it's as scary as ever. Other people don't really get it anyway; it's not the kind of thing everyone else is afraid of—it's something that I've always found hard. I wish I weren't such a coward. Sponsor We all have fears, and though rational discussion helps some of the time, it doesn't always remove them. What does work is taking the required action. Whether it's taking one of the Twelve Steps, auditioning for a part in a play, making love without drugs or alcohol, or simply making a dreaded phone call, when we begin to take actions in spite of the fear we feel, we are changed. In our old days of active addiction, we missed out on opportunities to grow through doing what we found difficult. We may have avoided challenges by doing nothing, or by using addictive substances to foster numbness or defiance. Without the healthy kind of fear that we need for survival, we may have taken life-endangering risks. Fear doesn't make us cowards. There is no courage without fear. If we fear nothing, we never have the experience of walking through our fears and letting our spirits expand. Today, I walk through a fear; as I take action, I experience my courage. ************************************************** ~ THE EYE OPENER ~ We are all subjects to the habit of imagining a lot of needs and desires that we would not actually want if we stopped and gave the matter some thought. List those needs sometime and then think them over carefully. A yacht would be mighty nice in the summer but it's a pest in the winter. A fat bank account takes more thought and hard work to keep than it ever did to acquire. It is much nicer to just let your friends have these things and you be their guest. ************************************************** ~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~ Willingness and Action God, help me remember that willingness without action is fantasy. I have left my fantasy life behind with my active addiction. The best way to get ready for action is to pray. Prayer makes me ready for success. Sometimes my prayers tell me to go right or left. Sometimes they just tell me to stand and wait for instructions. When I am willing to pray, I am willing to act. When I am willing, I am filled with prayer. Prayer always comes before action. ************************************************* ~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~ RUNNING AWAY FROM LIFE In the spiritual teaching we are told not to dwell upon our troubles, but instead, to realize the Presence of God where the troubles seem to be. Critics have suggested that this policy is "running away from life." Is it? Suppose you found yourself in a house that was on fire; what would you do? You would leave the burning building as rapidly as possible. Would this be running away from life? Would it not rather be seeking life? Sickness, sin, fear, and limitation—these things are not life—they are partial death; and they are to be overcome by turning toward life, which is divine harmony. To turn away from evil and realize God instead is to liberate yourself, to help the world, and to glorify God. Look unto me, and be ye saved, all the ends of the earth . . . (Isaiah 45:22). ************************************************** ~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~ Truth and Consequences The essence of communication is intention. ~ Werner Erhard ~ While speaking with a woman whose partner had just left their relationship to marry another woman, she asked me, “Did you know that Walter was once in jail for embezzling?” No, I hadn’t known that. “I just thought you should know the truth about him,” she added. Her comments struck me as harsh and out of context. Reflecting on her position, I understood that she felt wounded by this man, and this was her way of retaliating or justifying her loss. But it was not truth that she was seeking to offer; it was injury. Many a disservice has been rendered in the name of “telling the truth.” What use is telling the truth if our intention is to cause pain? The truth, like a knife, can be used to perform life-saving surgery or to maim. It is a power that must be used with consciousness, forethought, and service. To make a rule that we must always tell all facts, thoughts, and feeling, is to open the door to unnecessary pain. Higher than any factual truth is the truth that we are loving beings, here to support one another in healing and awakening. If someone is not ready to hear a truth, or it would hurt them emotionally or damage them socially to speak it, we must yield to service rather than a rote rule. Before speaking truth to someone, ask yourself some important ques–tions: What is my intention in offering this? How would I prefer to hear such a truth spoken to me? Am I truly seeking to communicate, or am I “dumping ” to relieve myself of upset or guilt? What do I want to come of this situation? How can I best serve everyone involved? Consult your heart; it will guide you to offer truth in the highest way possible. Guide me to speak healing words, that I may be closer to my brothers and sisters. I use the truth to heal and bring peace. |
November 11
Step by Step “When I am hungry, give me someone that I can feed. And when I am thirsty, give me someone who needs a drink. When I’m cold, give me someone to keep warm. And when I grieve, give me someone to console.” – Mother Teresa (1910-1997) Today, the words of a religious icon transcends denominations and religion itself and embraces a fundamental ethic of AA – focus off self and on those who need it as much and more. The 12th step requires us to be of service by carrying AA’s message to those who need and want it. And by directing my focus on those who need the message and guidance through the other steps, I hope to have little time to dwell on myself, though not neglecting my responsibilities to my own program. At the same time, by listening and helping someone else resolve or reconcile their problems, I may have to eat crow if I think no one carries the weight that I do. My recovery requires abandonment of self, and the quality of my sobriety can be expected to be less than what it could be if I make my recovery about myself; my drinking was all about myself, and the outcome speaks for itself. Today, if I find someone who is hungry, who is thirsty, who is cold or who grieves, grant me the humanity to put their needs before my wants. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M. ************************************************** ~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~ HONESTY No legacy is so rich as honesty. ~ Shakespeare ~ Honesty is vital to our recovery. It has to begin within us and must flow outward from us. To be true to ourselves, we must never say one thing and think another. When we were using, our denials spelled dishonesty. So did the false fronts we put up to impress others. Dishonesty was motivated by fear and our low self-esteem. We hated ourselves, and we were afraid others would hate us too if we showed them honestly who we were. So we lied to them and to ourselves, trying to be the person we thought other people wanted us to be. In recovery, we learn to like the person we are. We have no more reason to lie or put up false fronts. Today I will work to be honest in everything I say and do. I will be true to myself. ************************************************** ~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~ A truth that’s told with bad intent Beats all the lies you can invent. ~ William Blake ~ Sometimes the truth is the most brutal thing we can deliver. In our recovery we work very hard to become honest with ourselves, but we must also learn how to handle the truth with others. We are guided to make amends to all those we have harmed, “except when to do so would injure them or others.” We must consider our motivations for expressing the truth and see that sometimes privacy and silence isn’t dishonest; it’s respectful. The man who apologized to a married couple for his affair with the wife did no one any good by his apology. The man who freely gossips about others may speak the truth, but he only gratifies his selfish urges. We are learning to be clear and unflinching in our honesty with ourselves, and gentle and constructive in our honesty with others. Today I will tell the truth in caring and respectful ways. ************************************************** ~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~ I am learning to trust myself by getting to know my Higher Power and then trusting the guidance I receive. ~ Helen Neujahr ~ Developing a relationship with our Higher Power rewards us in countless ways. The uncertainty about what to do and say in response to circumstances in our lives no longer binds us. The fear of being hurt or hurting others no longer haunts us. Uncontrollable events no longer worry us. Our lives are significantly more peaceful and positive when we get to know our Higher Power. We felt so alone before. It’s not surprising that we didn’t trust ourselves. We were making decisions with no clear understanding of how they fit into the divine plan for our lives. Many of us, in fact, had no belief in a divine plan. Hindsight, however, lets us see that our lives have been unfolding purposefully. And even though we may not have turned to a Higher Power, or not have believed in one, before getting into recovery, we were in God’s care. Trusting that guidance makes our lives today so much easier. I will be quiet so that I can hear my Higher Power’s guidance. ************************************************** ~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~ I can accept a breakthrough of my symptoms I used to get scared and angry when my psychiatric illness would "break through" my medication and produce strong symptoms. Sometimes I wanted to hurt myself. Often I would shut myself up in my room. I was ashamed for what felt like a loss of control. Having a symptom breakthrough is still hard to accept, what with working a program of dual recovery. However, I no longer feel so bad about myself when it happens. I have learned that even though I faithfully take my medication and go to meetings regularly for both my mental health and addiction, I am still powerless over my two no-fault biological illnesses. I am not a bad person, but a recovering person who is doing the best he can. I will write out two ways I could help take care of myself if I experienced a breakthrough of symptoms. ************************************************* ~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~ Let us choose love and life. ~ Bernie Siegel ~ We had no choice about when or where we were born, what color hair we have, how tall we are, or whether or not we are left-handed. We did not choose to be born male or female, white, black, or brown, and we did not choose to be afflicted with the disease of addiction. But we can choose to accept what we are, what we have, and what we will do about these things. Each day we awaken with a choice. It doesn’t matter if it’s rainy or sunny, hot or cold, or if we’re rich or poor. All these things are outside us, they are not what determines if we’re happy or not. That is our choice. We choose to make the most of our day, to be kind to ourselves, to tend to our recovery. We choose to be loving to another human being, to offer help or sympathy, to interact with the world — or to isolate ourselves. Life is not lived outside us, but is determined by the ways we choose to interact with what’s outside us. Each thing we do or refuse to do is by choice, and no one makes our choices for us. Living well is a great responsibility, but with the help of our fellowship and our Higher Power, we can gladly accept the responsibilities of the present. Today help me pay attention to the moment, and to make self-loving choices. ************************************************** ~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~ I remind myself every morning: Nothing I say this day will teach me anything. So if I’m going to learn, I must do it by listening. ~ Larry King ~ Think about those times when you are listening to talk radio or a television talk show and the dialogue gets heated between guests. Two or more people may be speaking or even shouting at the same time, and you realize you cannot hear what anyone is saying. When you first came into the program, your mind may have been filled with so much self-talk that you could not take in what others were saying. Or you may have been so intent at conveying your own problems that you did all of the talking. But when you can still your mind and stop talking, you can experience the value of give and take in conversations. You can also gather information and guidance that will be useful for your recovery and growth. Today make it a goal to be a good listener. Make eye contact with someone who is speaking. Try to not multitask at the same time. Overcome your need to respond before the speaker has finished talking. If you are not clear with what is being said, ask for clarification. And fight the urge to give advice unless the person asks, “What would you do in this situation?” Today I will listen and learn from others. ************************************************** ~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~ A satisfied flower is one whose petals are about to fall. The most beautiful rose is one hardly more than a bud wherein the pangs and ecstacies of desire are working for larger and finer growth. ~ Carl Sandburg ~ Every one of us in the program is a flower in a beautiful garden. The ones who move down the road of recovery are blooming right and strong. The newcomer and short-timers are just buds, soon to open in a burst of energy and color. Our Higher Power tends this garden and provides us with room to grow, rich soil in which to root, ample nourishment, and the company of others. We are not all alike in this garden. We each bloom a different color, have a different petal pattern, and release our own fragrance. Yet our sensuous mixture yields an amazing scene of color, fragrance, and life. At times we may feel uncomfortable in the garden. We may not feel as wise as some of the older flowers and may think our newness is still too bright. Yet we all belong and we will all be nourished as long as we are within the garden walls. Do I believe I am unique and beautiful? I will let myself be part of the uniqueness and beauty in the program. ************************************************** ~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~ Trusting God’s love Trusting that our Higher Power wants the best for us also means trusting that it wants the best for our loved ones. God works through everyone. We can’t believe that our Higher Power has led us through rebellion, pain, and suffering to this fellowship without believing it also guides everyone else. Our Higher Power reaches people in different ways. We sometimes don’t understand the wisdom behind all this. All we can do is carry the message by being an example; the rest is in our Higher Power’s hands. Do I feel secure knowing we are all guided by a Higher Power? Higher Power, I entrust all those who are dear to me to your never failing care and love. Today I will express my trust in my Higher Power’s love by God help me to stay clean and sober today! ************************************************** ~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~ Natural abilities are like natural plants, that need pruning by study. ~ FRANCIS BACON ~ Newcomer I'm so discouraged. I used to think I had so much talent. Now I can see that I'm not as good as hundreds of other people. While I was off hiding from reality in my addiction, other people were getting ahead of me. Sponsor Neither our talents nor our dreams have vanished. In recovery, we have the chance to explore the question of what kind of education and training we need to support our natural gifts, to help us take steps in the world, and to flourish. For some of us, this may mean formal education; people in recovery are doing it all the time. Some of us may simply want instruction in a recreational pursuit that brings pleasure and expands our options. Books and articles, a peer support group, or friends with some time for hands-on help may be enough to get us started. The rest comes with experience, patience, and practice. Still others of us may have had considerable experience and worldly success, but addiction has limited or interrupted our path. It takes courage and the willingness to think like a beginner again to find the way back to what matters to us. Our experience of hitting bottom and embracing recovery has given us insights, attitudes, and habits that enhance the experience of living. Today, I have the willingness and courage to give myself a second chance at an old dream. I take small steps. I persist, no matter what. ************************************************** ~ THE EYE OPENER ~ You are born at every sunrise and die at every sunset. Sleep is temporary death, which fortifies you for your rebirth in a new tomorrow. Every day is an entire life in itself and all human experiences can take place within its span. You, yourself, are not the same man you were yesterday or the man you will be tomorrow. The world, too, changes with every revolution around the sun. One human being lives a day and another a hundred years yet each is a complete life. Today is the only life you surely have. Make the best of it. ************************************************** ~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~ My Work Life Today, I will pay attention to what recovery behaviors 1 could practice that would improve my work life. I will take care of myself on the job. God, help me let go of my need to be victimized by work. Help me be open to all the good stuff that is available to me through work. ~ From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie, page 247 ~ ************************************************* ~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~ WITHOUT REHEARSAL Someone said that living life is like playing a violin solo in public and learning to play the instrument as we go along. This saying describes the experience very well, but no one should worry about that. We are in this world for exactly that purpose—to learn. While we are learning we do not expect to produce a perfect work. On this plane we are all students, and what matters is that each year we shall find the quality of our workmanship definitely better. People are sometimes depressed because their lives do not present a simple, logical, harmonious unfoldment, because their histories seem to be full of inconsistencies, repetitions, dead ends. This, however, is only to be expected during the learning period. Your life has not been rehearsed. It is an adventure, and a discovery, and a training, and it is the final goal that matters. And let us not be weary in welldoing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not (Galatians 6:9). ************************************************** ~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~ Direct Is Better Let every man do according as he is disposed in his heart; not grudgingly, or of necessity. ~ Anonymous ~ I had an assistant named Joel who did not know how to say no. He would say yes to everything and then not do the things he did not want to do. Psychologists call this “passive-aggressive behavior.” Once I asked Joel to go into town to pick up a computer part. He assured me that he would, and then delayed and delayed doing it. Finally he made the trip one afternoon, and when I asked him about the part the next morning, he told me he could not find the shop. I gave Joel explicit instructions, and he went back into town the next afternoon. I received a call from him asking, “What was the name of that company?” After several attempts he finally got the part, but in retrospect, I wish he had told me outright that he did not wish to do the job. It would have been a lot easier to get some–one else to do it. I have a simple definition of integrity: Say yes when you mean yes, no when you mean no, maybe when you mean maybe, and I don’t know when you mean I don’t know. We get into trouble and confuse others when we say yes when we mean no, maybe when we mean I don’t know, and on and on through all the permutations. You are in integrity when what you’re doing in the outer world matches what is real in your heart. In college I read a book by Sidney Jourard called The Transparent Self. The title speaks for itself. We usually do much better to let people know what is going on inside of us than to play a presentation game that is out of synch with our inner truth. When my friend told her teenage son that she did not like him hanging out with the working-class kids in school, he told her, “I like these kids because they’ll tell you exactly who they are and what is going on with them.” If you tell your truth with your actions but not your words, you’re going to have to come back and admit where you are. Save yourself and others trouble by being direct at the outset; honesty always serves best. Give me the courage to tell my truth in word and deed. I trust -who I am, I speak what I believe, and I live what I know. |
November 12
Step by Step Today, if my last drink was 24 Hours ago or many 24 Hours ago, I have a choice to put my last drink another 24 Hours behind me or to ignore all I have learned either by experience or being in the Program. I have the choice to reinforce the first step within myself, that “(I) am powerless over alcohol,” and at least be willing to believe in the possibility of a Higher Power. Or I can re-empower alcohol to take control again and take me to the certainty of where continued drinking will lead me. I may be insecure or uncertain about life without alcohol, but I know with certainty where continued drinking will take me. Today, my choice is to drink or not to drink. Experience is proof beyond doubt where I end up if I drink; the Program is proof positive where I can be if I don’t drink. Today, grant that I choose wisely. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M. ************************************************** ~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~ TAKING TIME Easy Does It, But DO It! ~ Anonymous ~ We earnestly believe in "Easy Does It." We know that any spiritual progress re-quires time to grow. Maturity is not an overnight miracle. We need to remember to take things slowly. The faster we rush, the more danger there is of a relapse that could delay vital growth. Only impatient people try to climb ladders several steps at a time. But we are also taught that slow-but- sure progress does not mean making no effort at all. If we procrastinate, we stop growing and stand still. To delay is to invite rationalization and develop the fear of failing. We seek steady growth by solving problems along the way. We learn from each victory, and take time to enjoy them. I will remind myself today not to push myself faster than I need to go. I won't push the river, I'll let it flow. ************************************************** ~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~ All self-knowledge is purchased at the cost of guilt. ~ Paul Tillich ~ When we take our searching and fearless moral inventory, we walk directly into our feelings of guilt. We have done wrong and hurt people and there is no longer any hiding from it. That is why we are called to be fearless in our search. A great reward follows our admission, and that reward is the chance to know ourselves and make peace with ourselves. When we get honest with ourselves about the effects of our actions, we feel the pain that we avoided by denial. It was somehow easier to hide and escape than to stand up to the truth. When we stand up to the responsibility for our actions and their effects on others and ourselves, we actually stand taller and feel more self-respect. Guilt itself is not a bad thing, but holding on to it and leaving it unrepaired is. We may not have known that we were buying something very precious by facing our guilt. Today I will face my responsibilities for my actions and receive the benefits of knowing myself better. ************************************************** ~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~ In the end, I define what I think, feel, and believe. ~ Harriet Lerner ~ Many of us came into recovery confused about our beliefs. We tried to blend in with others, adopting their beliefs rather than risk looking different. Often we felt self-conscious, unsure of how to support our opinions if pressed. The game of pretend is finally over. We don’t immediately know what we think and who we are just because we get sober. But Step Four helps us start unraveling our behavior. Being alone with ourselves in this process gives us our first honest glimpse of who we are. We are dismayed by some of our qualities and heartened by others. Let’s focus on the assets first. Empowerment comes with doing a serious self- assessment. We soon understand that who we are is solely up to us. The real joy in this is realizing that who we will be, every moment of the day, is up to us too. I am responsible for myself. What I think, feel, believe, and say is no one’s responsibility but my own. That feels good. ************************************************** ~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~ I can practice believing that "this too shall pass" Before I got into recovery, I was vulnerable. I reacted sharply and quickly to my emotions, especially anxiety and anger. Without asking for help often—without even thinking—I got high. I managed my problems with street drugs. I didn't know there was any other way. But in the program I'm developing a better tool—faith. When I have faith, the cravings pass in minutes. When I let go, I find help, twenty-four hours a day, through my higher power and sponsor. When I believe that "this too shall pass," it is easier to accept my illnesses and the natural fluctuations of recovery. As soon as I have cravings, I will put three program tools to work: the slogans, the telephone, and prayer. ************************************************* ~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~ Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue, but with actions and in truth. ~ I John 3:18 ~ We are learning to break the cycle of addiction. By going into recovery, we are assuring that we will pass on much less dysfunction to our children. They will benefit from our new lives and the changes we are making. Now, we have become healthy role models, helping our children live better lives. It is exciting to think that each successive generation will benefit from the recovery in our family today. Future children will be raised in families where active addiction has been replaced by more openness, honesty, clear thinking, and real communication. We can take pride in knowing that today’s work, today’s meeting, and today’s recovery will pay dividends for generations to come. In the meantime, we ourselves are living in the present with gratitude and healthy pride, choosing each day to affirm life. Today let me show gratitude that recovery has benefits not only for my family but for future generations, too ************************************************** ~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~ What you become is more important than what you accomplish. ~ Author unknown ~ While there are twelve Steps in recovery and your work on them is made by moving through each, completion ol Step Twelve does not mean you have reached the end. So how, then, can you measure your progress? Your anniversary date of when you stopped using is a way to measure the time in which you have been clean and sober. But the progress you have made in your growth, in the shifts and changes in your actions and behaviors, and in the quality of your life cannot be measured by a yardstick. One way to measure progress is to ask your sponsor how you are doing. Hearing reassurance can help you understand you have made changes for the better. Another way is to reflect upon where you once were, how you once lived, the relationships you once had, and the addiction that once dominated your life. When you reflect upon your past and see it in the rear-view mirror, you can see the meaningful distance you have achieved from your former destructive way of living. When you are doing all you need to do in recovery, you are invested in the process and in the progress you can make. Today I measure my progress by seeing the distance between my past life and my present way of living. ************************************************** ~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~ How vastly different a troubled question looks to us at noonday and at midnight. We flinch in the hours of darkness from a problem we can meet bravely when we are on our feet, and under the momentum of the noonday vigor. ~ Charles B. Newcomb ~ We've often heard the phrase, "Things will look better in the morning." Somehow in the light of day, in the hustle and bustle of routines, our problems seem to recede from the shores of our minds. But as the hours turn from day to night, shadows lengthen, the stream of life stills, and our problems seem ready to wash up once again at our doors. Perhaps we trust the day more because of the light and nature's rhythm. As night the darkness shrouds our vision, nature stops its movement, and people seem to be on their own rhythms. Yet we can trust the night by depending upon the light of the program and the natural flow extolled by the slogans. We can create our own rhythm and clear vision to see our way through a problem. Tonight can be secure to us if we will only trust. I can work out solutions to my problems tonight as easily as if I were in the light of day by using the tools of the program. ************************************************** ~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~ Working the program Who can adequately describe the serenity and fulfillment found in working the program through the years full of hard times and good times? Who can fully express the feelings of acceptance and peace we can now find when in the midst of chaos? How can we share the joy that spiritual growth has embedded into our lives? For those who have lived in the depths of despair and suffering, passing into this new state of being is truly a miracle. And we know surely that this is available to all who are willing to work for it. Am I willing to work the program whole-heartedly at all times? Higher Power, help me remember always that working my program is the only way for me. Today I will work the program especially hard by God help me to stay clean and sober today! ************************************************** ~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~ It is not true that life is one **** thing after another—it is one **** thing over and over. ~ EDNA ST. VINCENT MILLAY ~ Newcomer I've been letting go of a habit that I thought of as minor, nothing like the addiction that brought me here. I'm surprised to discover that I'm having some of the same feelings that I had when I first entered this program. I want to indulge myself, cry, run, explode with rage. How can anything so small be such a big deal? Sponsor Congratulations on recognizing the importance of this habit and taking an action to change your relationship to it. You're describing withdrawal symptoms; it's likely that this habit has served the same purpose as that served by your primary addiction. Without this "minor habit," you're again face-to-face with reality. Most of us have more than one way to protect ourselves from realities we believe we can't face. We overlook or excuse "minor" habits for years, until one day the "minor" habit becomes an addiction. Letting go of a "minor" habit may remind us of our experiences in early recovery. If we face our addictive feelings head-on, with our experience in recovery to support us, we'll walk away freer than we've ever felt before. Let's remember that we don't have to go through physical or mental detoxification, or other major life changes, on our own. Now, more than ever, is the time for sharing. It works. Today, when addictive feelings arise, I trust that they're getting ready to leave. I assist their passage by talking about them with people in recovery. ************************************************** ~ THE EYE OPENER ~ No one ever became noble simply by being moral. The great characters who have had their ennobling influence pass down through the ages are those who lived, labored and died for others. Nothing endures that fails to serve a useful purpose and man, individually or collectively, is no exception. We must be of constant service to humanity or we are useless members of society. ************************************************** ~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~ Accepting Every Task Dear God, help me find the strength to be effective and accept responsibility. I am asking You for the strength I need each day. You have proven in countless lives that for every day I live, You will give me that necessary power. I must face every challenge that comes to me during the day sure that You will give me the strength to face it. I pray that I may accept every task as a challenge. I know I cannot wholly fail if You are with me. ~ Adapted from Twenty-Four Hours a Day, September 29 ~ ************************************************* ~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~ LET GOD! People often say, "I try to do so-and-so, but I fail." The explanation for their failure is contained within the words themselves. You should never "try"; you should "let"—let God. When you "try" to do things, you are working from the outside. When you let God do them through you, you are working from the inside and success must come. If you will reread the creation chapter in the Bible you will notice that God creates by "letting." God said "let," at every act of creation, and it was done. Now God creates by means of you if you will let him, but you must let. Someone said, "Let go and let God," and this is a wonderful recipe for overcoming fear or getting out of a tight place. In any case, the rule for creation is always to let. Is any thing too hard for the Lord? (Genesis 18:14). ************************************************** ~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~ Select, Don’t Settle It is not what you ask for that is appalling; what is appalling is what you settle for. ~ Alan Cohen ~ As a teenager, I regularly heard a radio jingle for a men’s clothing store in New York City: “Select, Don’t Settle, at Barney’s.” Although I did not realize it at the time, the message was offering a profound instruction for life. How much of how you live your life is your preference, and how much are you settling for? On a piece of paper make two columns: I Select and I Settle. Then consider your activities in the course of a day, week, month, or year, and honestly record what you’re doing that comes from your heart and what you’re doing that comes from fear, obligation, or accommodation. Every time we settle, we die a little bit inside. When we accept something that we would not choose, we affirm that we do not deserve to be happy and that the universe cannot support us in living our vision. When we make a stand for our goal, we affirm that we are worthy to live in a loving and abundant universe. After a lecture, I was invited to the sponsor’s office to unwind. “What kind of tea would you like?” Melodie asked. “Peppermint,” I told her. “I’m not sure if we have peppermint,” she noted as she rummaged through the shelf. Quickly I responded, “That’s okay? I’ll take whatever you have.” Melodie turned and glared at me playfully, “Didn’t I just hear you give a lecture on not settling?" Oops. (It’s always annoying when your students or children use your truth against you.) She searched again and announced, “Peppermint!” A humbling lesson, but a good one. Ask for what you want, and as long as there is a chance of getting it, keep asking. I pray to live at choice. Give me the strength to claim my highest good and not stop until my dreams come true. I deserve the kingdom. I choose my life with self-respect. |
November 13
Step by Step ” …(O)ur problems were of our own making. Bottles were only a symbol.” – Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, Ch 7 (“Working With Others”), p 103. Today, if alcohol is or was “only a symbol” or a symptom of some other “dis-ease” within me, abstinence alone is not enough to recover. If it were, there would be no use for AA. But they were written for a purpose, and the purpose is to treat my entire being and not only the symptoms that fueled my drinking. And, most likely, the root problem is my spiritual and emotional condition that I medicated with alcohol. Just as likely is that if I apply a band-aid of abstinence without treating the wound, the band-aid, like it always does, will lose its adhesiveness, and all my fight against temptation or craving will be for naught. The steps are the treatment of the disease: the Fourth Step to come to terms with the bankruptcy of my emotional and spiritual psyche, and the 10th step for maintenance of the Fourth; forgiving others if I expect them to forgive me; and, just as vital, service to others so that I not again become the focus of my world. Today, I look to the steps to treat my disease, not just its symptoms. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M. ************************************************** ~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~ GOALS One who fears, limits their activities. Failure is only the opportunity to more wisely begin again. ~ Henry Ford ~ In sharing with others, especially with our fellow members, we must never be timid about discussing goals, both for a lifetime and for short duration. When we are afraid of failure, we may take no action in setting goals. No one will be scornful of us if we fall short of a mark. There is more worth in aiming at a target and missing than in shooting blindly. When others encourage us and refuse to let us be depressed by failures, we can take aim and try again. If our goals are realistic, we will reach them. If we tall short, we know we have at least made progress toward our target. The important thing is to aim for the things we need and do our best to get there. I will set myself realistic goals and work to reach them, but I won't be let down and quit if I fall short. I'll just take better aim next time. ************************************************** ~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~ We know what a person thinks, not when he tells us what he thinks, but by his actions. ~ Isaac Bashevis Singer ~ Until we gain enough self-awareness, we may mistake our words for the truth. Many of us have developed patterns of self-deception to serve our addictions and codependency. It’s as if we believe that if we can make it sound good, it must be true. And if we are good with words, we can make almost any choice or any action sound good, especially to ourselves. We also value the approval of others so we are tempted to say the “right” thing even if it doesn’t match what is in our hearts. As we grow stronger, we value honesty with ourselves more deeply. We have greater self-esteem and we no longer betray or deceive ourselves. We learn to discern the difference between “just words” and the truth spoken from our hearts. Our words no longer cover our actions or substitute for them; our words help us better understand our actions. Words can now be used to express and clarify what we do. Today my words will express and clarify my actions, not obscure them. ************************************************** ~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~ The more I wonder... the more I love. ~ Alice Walker ~ How often do we contemplate the miracles that surround us every moment of the day? Do we often stop to appreciate the evidence of these miracles? We have survived many harrowing experiences. But do we understand that our survival is one of God’s miracles? God’s love for us is and has always been unconditional. No matter how bad we thought we were when we were drinking or using, God loved us. Realizing that God loves each of us equally gives us pause to wonder. Acknowledging this miracle enhances our willingness to love too. Wonderment strengthens our humility. And from that grows love. We may have come into this recovery program believing it’s impossible to love ourselves and others, but the more we cultivate our appreciation for God’s intervention on behalf of us all, the easier our task. Pausing to reflect on my good fortune today will make loving easier. ************************************************** ~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~ I can handle problems while they are still small Why am I so tired out these days? I come home at night and can hardly watch TV I thought my dual recovery was on track, but I feel irritable and unfriendly. I also think I'm eating more than I need to. What's going on? Come to think about it, my spouse and I still haven't settled some money matters. Then there's my new boss at work. And the car needs a tune-up and a muffler. Maybe this is what's going on. Maybe I've got a lot on my mind and it's starting to affect me. It's time to pay attention to these relapse warning signs, ask my higher power for help, and start dealing with my problems. I'll use my nightly Step Ten inventory to help monitor the stress in my life. ************************************************* ~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~ Not what we give, but what toe share — For the gift without the giver is bare.... ~ James Russell Lowell ~ Alcoholism and other addictions are selfish diseases. In the past they caused us to think only of ourselves and never of others. “How do I get out of this jam?” “How do I get another drink or drug?” Addiction is an “I” disease. Recovery begins with “we,” when we identify with others who have the illness and become willing to listen. Recovery works because it helps us out of ourselves: our self-pity, our self-centeredness, and our selfishness. After we work a “we” program and gain a solid foundation for recovery, we begin to develop the ability to think of others and the “you” stage begins. “How are you doing?” “How can I help you?” “I am concerned about you.” “I care about you.” This is a sign of true change, a sign that our lives are much more open and fulfilled. It is also a sign of our Higher Power’s love at work in our lives. We have begun to connect, not through want or need, but through willingness to give and share. Today I pray that I may finally become able to love and care about others, that I may be able to reach out. ************************************************** ~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~ Move out of your comfort zone. You can only grow if you are willing to feel awkward and uncomfortable when you try something new. ~ Brian Tracy ~ If you wanted to add an addition to your home, you would need to extend your home’s foundation and frame the room. You would need to match the roofline of your home to that of the addition. You would need to extend your electrical system and add heating and cooling elements. And you would need to paint or wallpaper the walls and add furniture and other decorations. Similarly, your recovery is filled with abundant challenges. This addition to your life requires you to make many changes from how you once lived. You need to build a foundation of abstinence so you can reframe a new way of living. You need to create new goals so you can continue to take care of your needs and responsibilities. You need to cope with the pain of withdrawal and grieve the loss of your habit. You need to distance yourself from those who might lead you into temptation. As you recover from your addiction, you will have more room in which to grow. You have also added a greater value to your life and enhanced the quality of day-to-day living. I will challenge myself in my recovery so my life has greater value and inclining. ************************************************** ~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~ Some minds remain open long enough for truth not only to enter but to pass on through by way of a ready exit without pausing anywhere along the route. ~ Sister Elizabeth Kenny ~ Many times what someone says hurts us. If someone is pointing out a character defect or being critical of our work, we may find it difficult to listen. But before we react, we need to ask whether the person is being destructive or constructive in his or her speech. We can ignore destructive words by detaching, but we need to listen to constructive words. There is a reason to hear such words, even though they may hurt or make us feel defensive. To become a total listener rather than a selective listener, we can let people finish what they need to say. Silence and an open mind can help us hear all their words. By truly listening and then responding maturely, we will grasp the message and perhaps see the love and caring with which it is delivered. Tomorrow, I will not react to things said to me. I will truly listen and then respond maturely and gently. ************************************************** ~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~ Practicing principles Reading, discussing, studying, thinking, or any other form of intellectual pursuit may play a role in helping us find our Higher Power. But we don’t experience our Higher Power unless we put our principles into action. When we practice our principles, we set ourselves free so that our behavior does not stand between us and our Higher Power. The insights we get from reading, dis-cussing, studying, thinking, and so on are healthy food for thought. To gain the freedom that comes from feeling our Higher Power, we practice the principles. Have I stopped intellectualizing about God? Higher Power, remind me that insight is not freedom and help me do what is necessary to find and to know you completely. I will put my principles into action by God help me to stay clean and sober today! ************************************************** ~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~ Luck is just a matter of preparation meeting opportunity. ~ OPRAH WINFREY ~ Newcomer Nothing good is coming into my life right now. I feel stuck. Sponsor While we don't control what happens in our lives, we do have the ability to articulate our goals. We need to invite positive happenings by making room for them in our psyches and to recognize and acknowledge the positive when it does show up. Prayer is one medium for acknowledging the gifts we already have and for affirming faith in the possibilities our lives hold. Writing—which might include making a gratitude list, writing about our current experience of one of the Twelve Steps, or writing down our goals so that they are clear to us—is another tool for cultivating positive attitudes that prepare us for success. Visualization is another powerful tool. Visualization involves seeing in detail, in our mind's eye, exactly what we hope to accomplish. A writer I know began work on a book by visualizing the entire process of producing it: completing pages, mailing the manuscript, even holding the publisher's check in his hand. He visualized printing presses running, the binder gluing the cover, the distributor making shipments, readers buying the book. This process wasn't willful or magical; it was a tool for creating the mental conditions he needed to believe in himself and to complete his project. Visualization can change our mind-set and prepare us to recognize opportunity when we meet it. Today, I rehearse the positive in my imagination, embracing it when it comes. ************************************************** ~ THE EYE OPENER ~ It is one of the peculiar characteristics of the alcoholic that he almost invariably shows the worst side of his disposition to those people for whom he has the highest love and respect. Many of us were Jolly Good Fellows in the bootleg joint but Hell on wheels at home and in our relationship with those we loved. If your disposition is so lousy that it isn't fit to be brtiught out on the street, then it isn't worth house room. Fortunately, sobriety usually cures this. ************************************************** ~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~ Sleepless Nights Thank You, Father, that the longest night ends in dawn and a new day. Thank You, that Your mercies are new every morning. Clear from my mind now all black thoughts of the night and give me confidence as I face today. Give me strength in my tiredness and the sure hope that Your love will guard and keep me. ~ by Lancelot Andrewes ~ ************************************************* ~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~ A DEPENDABLE RECIPE When you make a cake, you know that whatever you put into your mixing bowl will appear in the cake itself, and, on the other hand, that unless a particular substance does go into the mixing bowl, it cannot appear in the finished article. The thoughts and beliefs that fill our minds ultimately appear in the cake of experience, and to realize this is to save oneself a lot of trouble. No one puts kerosene in the mixing bowl because no one wants it in the cake, for everyone knows that, if it does enter the bowl, in the cake it will be. . . . they that plow iniquity, and sow wickedness, reap the same (Job 4:8). ************************************************** ~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~ Must Be Some Mistake Miracles are examples of right thinking, aligning your perception with truth as God created it. ~ A Course in Miracles ~ Kathi returned to her hotel room to spruce up before her evening meeting. As she stood in the bathroom brushing her teeth, she was shocked to see a tall burly man standing in her shower. Before she could say a word, he grabbed her and started to wrestle her to the floor. “Suddenly the whole scene went into slow motion, and I became an observer,” Kathi told me. “I started to scream, but it was as if I was watching myself from a distance. Then something came over me. I ceased to see myself as a victim of an attack, and my heart became filled with only love and compassion. All I could think was, there must be some mistake here. This man is my brother; there is no reason for him to do this.' All this happened in a flash, and in spite of the outer struggle that ensued, inside I felt at peace. Then something truly miraculous happened. Suddenly the man stopped and said, ‘There must be some mistake here; I’m in the wrong room. I have to go. I’m sorry.’ He ran out the door, and that quickly it was all over.” A Course in Miracles reminds us that “miracles are natural. When they do not occur, something has gone wrong.” The laws of miracles reverse the laws of the world, which tell us that it is natural for life not to work, and when it does, it is an exception. But the universe was designed to work, and in spite of appearances, it does. All of life, from the tiniest amoeba to the trillions of stars, planets, and galaxies, operates with clockwork precision. Surely there is an intelligent force with an unfathomably creative mind and loving heart behind such magnificent perfection! Success, harmony, and happiness are not mistakes; they are our natural state. When we remember that love is who we are, miracles occur continuously. Help me remember that there is only love. Let me always be aware of Your comforting presence. I am safe because love is the only reality. |
November 14
Step by Step “Selfishness – self-centeredness! That, we think, is the root of our troubles. Driven by a hundred forms of fear, self-delusion, self-seeking and self-pity, we step on the toes of our fellows and they retaliate. Sometimes they hurt us, seemingly without provocation, but we invariably find that at some time in the past we have made decisions based on self which later placed us in a position to be hurt.” – Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, Ch 5 (“How It Works”), p 62. Today: “…we have made decisions based on self which later placed us in a position to be hurt.” The boomerang effect. If I harbor thoughts of exacting revenge on those who have wronged me – real or perceived – I would be wise to reach back into my yesterdays and remember that my best-laid plans of revenge or comeuppance for someone else have usually acted like a boomerang and sneaked from behind to crack me in the head. If I am not yet able to let go for whatever emotion I hold against anyone I think has hurt me, perhaps I can understand that setting out to inflict intentional harm or injury – revenge – may well put me in the position of being hurt somewhere down the road. And the selfishness that drives the engine to quench that thirst for revenge is the precursor of resentment which is our most formidable and potentially lethal opponent. Today, if I can’t or won’t let go thoughts of getting revenge on someone and hoping for their day of reckoning, I may be better served to understand that I may be setting a trap for myself. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M. ************************************************** ~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~ GOALS One who fears, limits their activities. Failure is only the opportunity to more wisely begin again. ~ Henry Ford ~ In sharing with others, especially with our fellow members, we must never be timid about discussing goals, both for a lifetime and for short duration. When we are afraid of failure, we may take no action in setting goals. No one will be scornful of us if we fall short of a mark. There is more worth in aiming at a target and missing than in shooting blindly. When others encourage us and refuse to let us be depressed by failures, we can take aim and try again. If our goals are realistic, we will reach them. If we tall short, we know we have at least made progress toward our target. The important thing is to aim for the things we need and do our best to get there. I will set myself realistic goals and work to reach them, but I won't be let down and quit if I fall short. I'll just take better aim next time. ************************************************** ~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~ We know what a person thinks, not when he tells us what he thinks, but by his actions. ~ Isaac Bashevis Singer ~ Until we gain enough self-awareness, we may mistake our words for the truth. Many of us have developed patterns of self-deception to serve our addictions and codependency. It’s as if we believe that if we can make it sound good, it must be true. And if we are good with words, we can make almost any choice or any action sound good, especially to ourselves. We also value the approval of others so we are tempted to say the “right” thing even if it doesn’t match what is in our hearts. As we grow stronger, we value honesty with ourselves more deeply. We have greater self-esteem and we no longer betray or deceive ourselves. We learn to discern the difference between “just words” and the truth spoken from our hearts. Our words no longer cover our actions or substitute for them; our words help us better understand our actions. Words can now be used to express and clarify what we do. Today my words will express and clarify my actions, not obscure them. ************************************************** ~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~ The more I wonder... the more I love. ~ Alice Walker ~ How often do we contemplate the miracles that surround us every moment of the day? Do we often stop to appreciate the evidence of these miracles? We have survived many harrowing experiences. But do we understand that our survival is one of God’s miracles? God’s love for us is and has always been unconditional. No matter how bad we thought we were when we were drinking or using, God loved us. Realizing that God loves each of us equally gives us pause to wonder. Acknowledging this miracle enhances our willingness to love too. Wonderment strengthens our humility. And from that grows love. We may have come into this recovery program believing it’s impossible to love ourselves and others, but the more we cultivate our appreciation for God’s intervention on behalf of us all, the easier our task. Pausing to reflect on my good fortune today will make loving easier. ************************************************** ~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~ I can handle problems while they are still small Why am I so tired out these days? I come home at night and can hardly watch TV I thought my dual recovery was on track, but I feel irritable and unfriendly. I also think I'm eating more than I need to. What's going on? Come to think about it, my spouse and I still haven't settled some money matters. Then there's my new boss at work. And the car needs a tune-up and a muffler. Maybe this is what's going on. Maybe I've got a lot on my mind and it's starting to affect me. It's time to pay attention to these relapse warning signs, ask my higher power for help, and start dealing with my problems. I'll use my nightly Step Ten inventory to help monitor the stress in my life. ************************************************* ~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~ Not what we give, but what toe share — For the gift without the giver is bare.... ~ James Russell Lowell ~ Alcoholism and other addictions are selfish diseases. In the past they caused us to think only of ourselves and never of others. “How do I get out of this jam?” “How do I get another drink or drug?” Addiction is an “I” disease. Recovery begins with “we,” when we identify with others who have the illness and become willing to listen. Recovery works because it helps us out of ourselves: our self-pity, our self-centeredness, and our selfishness. After we work a “we” program and gain a solid foundation for recovery, we begin to develop the ability to think of others and the “you” stage begins. “How are you doing?” “How can I help you?” “I am concerned about you.” “I care about you.” This is a sign of true change, a sign that our lives are much more open and fulfilled. It is also a sign of our Higher Power’s love at work in our lives. We have begun to connect, not through want or need, but through willingness to give and share. Today I pray that I may finally become able to love and care about others, that I may be able to reach out. ************************************************** ~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~ Move out of your comfort zone. You can only grow if you are willing to feel awkward and uncomfortable when you try something new. ~ Brian Tracy ~ If you wanted to add an addition to your home, you would need to extend your home’s foundation and frame the room. You would need to match the roofline of your home to that of the addition. You would need to extend your electrical system and add heating and cooling elements. And you would need to paint or wallpaper the walls and add furniture and other decorations. Similarly, your recovery is filled with abundant challenges. This addition to your life requires you to make many changes from how you once lived. You need to build a foundation of abstinence so you can reframe a new way of living. You need to create new goals so you can continue to take care of your needs and responsibilities. You need to cope with the pain of withdrawal and grieve the loss of your habit. You need to distance yourself from those who might lead you into temptation. As you recover from your addiction, you will have more room in which to grow. You have also added a greater value to your life and enhanced the quality of day-to-day living. I will challenge myself in my recovery so my life has greater value and inclining. ************************************************** ~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~ Some minds remain open long enough for truth not only to enter but to pass on through by way of a ready exit without pausing anywhere along the route. ~ Sister Elizabeth Kenny ~ Many times what someone says hurts us. If someone is pointing out a character defect or being critical of our work, we may find it difficult to listen. But before we react, we need to ask whether the person is being destructive or constructive in his or her speech. We can ignore destructive words by detaching, but we need to listen to constructive words. There is a reason to hear such words, even though they may hurt or make us feel defensive. To become a total listener rather than a selective listener, we can let people finish what they need to say. Silence and an open mind can help us hear all their words. By truly listening and then responding maturely, we will grasp the message and perhaps see the love and caring with which it is delivered. Tomorrow, I will not react to things said to me. I will truly listen and then respond maturely and gently. ************************************************** ~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~ Practicing principles Reading, discussing, studying, thinking, or any other form of intellectual pursuit may play a role in helping us find our Higher Power. But we don’t experience our Higher Power unless we put our principles into action. When we practice our principles, we set ourselves free so that our behavior does not stand between us and our Higher Power. The insights we get from reading, dis-cussing, studying, thinking, and so on are healthy food for thought. To gain the freedom that comes from feeling our Higher Power, we practice the principles. Have I stopped intellectualizing about God? Higher Power, remind me that insight is not freedom and help me do what is necessary to find and to know you completely. I will put my principles into action by God help me to stay clean and sober today! ************************************************** ~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~ Luck is just a matter of preparation meeting opportunity. ~ OPRAH WINFREY ~ Newcomer Nothing good is coming into my life right now. I feel stuck. Sponsor While we don't control what happens in our lives, we do have the ability to articulate our goals. We need to invite positive happenings by making room for them in our psyches and to recognize and acknowledge the positive when it does show up. Prayer is one medium for acknowledging the gifts we already have and for affirming faith in the possibilities our lives hold. Writing—which might include making a gratitude list, writing about our current experience of one of the Twelve Steps, or writing down our goals so that they are clear to us—is another tool for cultivating positive attitudes that prepare us for success. Visualization is another powerful tool. Visualization involves seeing in detail, in our mind's eye, exactly what we hope to accomplish. A writer I know began work on a book by visualizing the entire process of producing it: completing pages, mailing the manuscript, even holding the publisher's check in his hand. He visualized printing presses running, the binder gluing the cover, the distributor making shipments, readers buying the book. This process wasn't willful or magical; it was a tool for creating the mental conditions he needed to believe in himself and to complete his project. Visualization can change our mind-set and prepare us to recognize opportunity when we meet it. Today, I rehearse the positive in my imagination, embracing it when it comes. ************************************************** ~ THE EYE OPENER ~ It is one of the peculiar characteristics of the alcoholic that he almost invariably shows the worst side of his disposition to those people for whom he has the highest love and respect. Many of us were Jolly Good Fellows in the bootleg joint but Hell on wheels at home and in our relationship with those we loved. If your disposition is so lousy that it isn't fit to be brtiught out on the street, then it isn't worth house room. Fortunately, sobriety usually cures this. ************************************************** ~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~ Sleepless Nights Thank You, Father, that the longest night ends in dawn and a new day. Thank You, that Your mercies are new every morning. Clear from my mind now all black thoughts of the night and give me confidence as I face today. Give me strength in my tiredness and the sure hope that Your love will guard and keep me. ~ by Lancelot Andrewes ~ ************************************************* ~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~ A DEPENDABLE RECIPE When you make a cake, you know that whatever you put into your mixing bowl will appear in the cake itself, and, on the other hand, that unless a particular substance does go into the mixing bowl, it cannot appear in the finished article. The thoughts and beliefs that fill our minds ultimately appear in the cake of experience, and to realize this is to save oneself a lot of trouble. No one puts kerosene in the mixing bowl because no one wants it in the cake, for everyone knows that, if it does enter the bowl, in the cake it will be. . . . they that plow iniquity, and sow wickedness, reap the same (Job 4:8). ************************************************** ~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~ Must Be Some Mistake Miracles are examples of right thinking, aligning your perception with truth as God created it. ~ A Course in Miracles ~ Kathi returned to her hotel room to spruce up before her evening meeting. As she stood in the bathroom brushing her teeth, she was shocked to see a tall burly man standing in her shower. Before she could say a word, he grabbed her and started to wrestle her to the floor. “Suddenly the whole scene went into slow motion, and I became an observer,” Kathi told me. “I started to scream, but it was as if I was watching myself from a distance. Then something came over me. I ceased to see myself as a victim of an attack, and my heart became filled with only love and compassion. All I could think was, there must be some mistake here. This man is my brother; there is no reason for him to do this.' All this happened in a flash, and in spite of the outer struggle that ensued, inside I felt at peace. Then something truly miraculous happened. Suddenly the man stopped and said, ‘There must be some mistake here; I’m in the wrong room. I have to go. I’m sorry.’ He ran out the door, and that quickly it was all over.” A Course in Miracles reminds us that “miracles are natural. When they do not occur, something has gone wrong.” The laws of miracles reverse the laws of the world, which tell us that it is natural for life not to work, and when it does, it is an exception. But the universe was designed to work, and in spite of appearances, it does. All of life, from the tiniest amoeba to the trillions of stars, planets, and galaxies, operates with clockwork precision. Surely there is an intelligent force with an unfathomably creative mind and loving heart behind such magnificent perfection! Success, harmony, and happiness are not mistakes; they are our natural state. When we remember that love is who we are, miracles occur continuously. Help me remember that there is only love. Let me always be aware of Your comforting presence. I am safe because love is the only reality. |
November 15
Step by Step ” …(L)ife among Alcoholics Anonymous is more than attending gatherings and visiting hospitals. Cleaning up old scrapes, helping to settle family differences, explaining the disinherited son to his irate parents, lending money and securing jobs for each other, when justified – these are everyday occurrences. No one is too discredited or has sunk too low to be welcomed cordially – if he means business.” – Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, Ch 11 (“A Vision For You”), p 161. Today, I know through faith that I am not “too discredited” or ” too low” to begin recovery. But I have to “mean business.” What does this mean? That I absolutely must surrender in Step One that “(I) am powerless” over alcohol or any other addictive or compulsive substance and behavior, and then to Step Two where I must at least be open to the possibility of a power stronger and greater than myself. When I can say honestly that I have bowed to these two steps, I am “ready to take certain steps,” the ones that lead me beyond being dry to getting sober. Yet working the steps and going to meetings are not enough. “Cleaning up” the wreckage of my drinking days requires work beyond mouthing the words of the steps and going to meetings. My recovery takes work. I have no right to sobriety: I must earn it. And once I have received it, God granting, I will have the wisdom and knowledge to nurture it, and that means continued working of the steps, reassessing my program to change as I hopefully grow in my recovery and, just as important, being in service to those who need and want the lifeline of AA. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M. ************************************************** ~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~ EMOTIONS All great discoveries are made by men whose feelings run ahead of their thinking. ~ C.H. Parkhurst ~ We spend our time wisely with our fellow members when we talk about our use of emotions. Much pain can be avoided if we learn early not to fear displaying feelings. We can make friends of our emotions, instead of treating them like enemies. Indeed, it is an old saying that emotions taught mankind to reason. We will always need energy to reach goals, and every emotion is a source of energy. None are static. Power comes from our feelings. Only robots are emotionless. We need drive to direct dangerous emotions (like fear and anger) into useful channels and to keep the finer feeling of love and humility from becoming weaknesses by overdoing them. We should always choose positive emotions over negative ones. I will be most productive in life when I learn that emotional stability is necessary, and that I can FEEL with my mind and THINK with my heart. ************************************************** ~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~ Hope begins in the dark, the stubborn hope that if you just show up and try to do the right thing the dawn will come. ~ Anne Lamott ~ Darkness is no stranger to any adult. Some of us know all too well how dark some nights can seem. Many of us in our darkest hours have even considered ending our lives. At those times we feel totally alone and don’t see any hope remaining. And yet we keep putting one foot in front of the other, feeling no hope except the hope that we will find hope. The small flickering light of stubborn hope continues to bum. Even when we cannot see the light, dawn always comes. It doesn’t come when we want it to. It doesn’t arrive when we feel we deserve it. Dawn comes on its own time. What we are required to do is to keep showing up. Today I will keep putting one foot in front of the other, knowing that darkness and light are part of the rhythm of life. ************************************************** ~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~ Life isn’t always that bowl full of cherries. It’s sometimes very difficult and painful and we don’t feel prepared for it. ~ Thelma Elliott ~ The loss of an intimate friend, the death of a spouse, the failure to get a promotion—each can devastate us, at least for a time. It’s really not possible to be emotionally prepared for many of the experiences we are destined to have. We can, however, grow accustomed to letting our Higher Power walk us through every situation. And as we grow in our acceptance of God’s presence, we will discover that no experience can fully devastate us again. The blessing that is present through painful encounters is the awareness that we are never alone. God never forces us to walk through trouble by ourselves. No opportunity to grow will ever be devoid of God’s presence. God is here, now, awaiting our request for help. Asking will result in a wave of peacefulness followed by a sense of wellbeing that will not leave us as long as we keep our hearts open to God. I will invite God to be with me throughout the day today. Knowing that God is present will make every experience easier to handle. ************************************************** ~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~ I do not want to be labeled If I had symptoms of my psychiatric illness in public, I would not want people to think, "She's crazy." If I relapsed to my addiction in public, I would not want people to think, "She's a drunk" or "She's an addict." I am a human being. I am a valuable person. And I experience symptoms of psychiatric illness and addiction. I want to be known by my essence and my potential, not by my no- fault illnesses. I will write out a flash card that reads, "I am a valuable person in recovery from a dual disorder." ************************************************* ~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~ Habit is overcome by habit. ~ Thomas a Kempis ~ We have given up many things for the sake of our recovery. We gave up our drug of choice, our fear, our unhealthy lifestyle, our addicted friends. We are still giving up these things and more: our self-hate, our grandiosity, our manipulations, our resentments. But we can’t do any of this without replacing what’s gone. This is what our recovery program is all about. We work to replace fear with honesty, resentment with forgiveness, manipulations with acceptance. We are working each day to completely remake our lives, bit by bit. We are replacing unhealthy habits with healthy ones. The difference between these habits now is that we are conscious of them, and we are fully aware of their power in our lives. When we worked alone and lived lives of avoidance and pain, our habits were deadly. These new habits become stronger each time we practice them, and our lives become more open to new growth and change. Now that we are no longer alone we have picked up another new habit — we are building a life of self- awareness and self-love. Today let me practice gratitude for my new habits. ************************************************** ~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~ The Lion and the Mouse A lion was taking a nap in the forest when a mouse began to run up and down the lion’s body. This awakened the lion, which caught the mouse and was going to eat it. But the little creature spoke. “I beg your pardon, great king of the forest,” it squeaked. “Please forgive me for waking you. If you would spare my life I promise to return the favor one day.” The lion let out a snicker. “How could you possibly save a creature as powerful as I? I find that hard to believe, but I am feeling gracious today.” So the lion freed the mouse. Sometime later the lion was caught in a trap. The hunters wanted to impress the king with a live lion, so they tied the lion to a tree and set off to obtain a wagon. After the hunters had left, the mouse came upon the lion. It began to gnaw at the rope. When the lion was freed the mouse asked, “Did I not live up to my promise?” The moral of the story: Little friends may prove to be great friends. There are new friends you can make in recovery who can provide you with comfort and support and help you stay clean and sober. I will appreciate the friends I make in the program. ************************************************** ~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~ Delegate freely . . . and check on it every chance you get. ~ Linda Johnson Rice ~ When we ask that something be done, do we let go and let the job get done, or do we worry it won't be done on time or how we want it? Part of learning to trust others is to learn when to let go and let other people handle something in their own way. We can look back on today and remember requests we made. Perhaps we asked an employee for assistance, a child to do a project, or our partner to do something important. After we made the request, did we then let go or were we filled with worry and doubt about whether our request would be honored? Tonight we can let go of our requests and trust all will be taken care of. If it is not, that doesn't mean we can never trust anyone again. It may mean our request was unreasonable or other circumstances intervened. It's okay if we make a request and don't get results that meet our expectations. Trust doesn't mean we will get what we want when we want it and how we want it. Trust means having enough faith to ask another—and to let it go. Tonight I can let go of requests unhonored today. ************************************************** ~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~ Seeking spirituality Spiritual growth is an urge and a quest. The urge comes from within, and the quest, which is an outward manifestation, comes from the urge. Our quest suffers considerably when we make mind-altering chemicals our Higher Power. The urge for spiritual growth is still within us, but we have either lost sight of or have yet to find our true purpose. Staying chained to our addiction only keeps us from a meaningful destiny. For us the quest is our program. While the urge for spiritual growth is always an individual one, we are privileged to share the same quest in our fellowship. Have I joined the common quest? Higher Power, let my quest for spiritual growth be in keeping with my true purpose. Today I will seek to fulfill my urge for spiritual growth by God help me to stay clean and sober today! ************************************************** ~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~ If they try to rush me, I always say, "I've only got one other speed—and it's slower." ~ GLENN FORD ~ Newcomer I've been working like a maniac, running around like a chicken with its head cut off. And I don't have that much to show for all this effort. Sponsor How is it that "slow" got to be a negative word? To me, it holds the possibility of safety, care, thoughtful reflection, and taking pleasure in details. Many things today are sup-posed to happen at breakneck speed. Fast food, electronic mail, and express flights encourage us to think that we're performing inadequately if we can't proceed at a faster pace than feels comfortable. In the past, I'd sometimes try to get two days' work done in one, even staying awake all night to meet a deadline. While I sometimes met my goal for that twenty-four-hour period, I'd be exhausted and perhaps ill the next day. I'd lose an entire day catching up with myself. I'd have defeated my purpose of getting ahead and made errors of judgment in the process, too fatigued to see my mistakes. We're not machines. We may have periods of seeming inactivity and periods of accelerated activity; growth often happens in spurts. But if we set out to be deliberate and consistent, whatever our pace, we will get things accomplished, and we won't burn ourselves out. Today, I'm not in a race. I respect my body's signals about pacing. ************************************************** ~ THE EYE OPENER ~ We alcoholics were accustomed to look at the world through whisky glasses and consequently what we saw of the world made it appear as one big case of D.T.'s. Sobriety corrected our vision and the world took on a more ordered appearance. The world hadn't changed — our viewpoint had. If the world still doesn't look good to you — probably you are still looking through your old glasses. ************************************************** ~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~ Countless Gifts of Love Now thank we all our God, With heart and hand and voices, Who wondrous things has done, In whom His world rejoices; Who from our mother's arms Has blessed us on our way With countless gifts of love And still is ours today. O may this bounteous God, Through all our life near us, With ever joyful hearts And blessed peace to cheer us, Keep us in His grace, And guide us when perplexed, And free us from all ills In this world and the next. ~ by Martin Rinkart ~ ************************************************* ~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~ ON MINDING ONE'S BUSINESS It would probably be safe to say that more than half of the evil in the world is due to well-meaning busybodies who just cannot refrain from interfering. Needless to say, such people never have harmony or success in their own lives, for it is an invariable rule that he who minds his neighbor's business, neglects his own. To interfere mentally in any situation involves you in the consequences just as much as would a physical interference. Of course, where it is your duty to concern yourself in any matter, you must do so—constructively and spiritually—and then the consequences to you can only be good. For every man shall bear his own burden (Galatians 6:5). ************************************************** ~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~ Firewalking Feel the fear and do it anyway. ~ Dr. Susan Jeffers ~ Do you know the difference between courage and fearlessness? When you’re fearless, you’re not frightened by the task at hand, and you simply go ahead and do it. When you’re courageous, however, you feel afraid and walk ahead in spite of it. In this world, courage is far more important than fearlessness. One of our missions in life is to discover what holds us back from being ourselves and dismantle our illusions. If we do not face our fears, we cannot heal them. Someone who is not afraid of snakes may walk into a snake pit and impress everyone who sees him; such an act is of little value, though, as there is no risk, stretch, or growth; he is doing something that is easy for him. If, however, he harbors a fear of public speaking, he would accomplish more by joining Toast-masters than walking through a snake pit. Fear is not real, for if it were, everyone would be afraid of the same things. The word real implies constancy if you’re afraid of spiders and I’m not, and if I fear enclosed spaces and you do not, we demonstrate that there is nothing inherently fear-inducing about spiders or closed spaces. The next time you face a fear, think of someone you know who is not afraid of that thing, and visualize the ease and peace with which they would handle that experience. Make a list of your responses to the open-ended statement, “If I were not afraid, I would...” Include only those responses that you would make if fear were not a block. Then just do them. One by one, walk through your fears, and you will discover that none of them has any power whatsoever. Help me to be bigger than fear. I can do all things with the strength You give me. My nature is love and strength. I overcome all fear with the power of peace. |
November 16
Step by Step “I remember the day when I decided to drink myself to death quietly, without bothering anyone, because I was tired of having been a dependable, trustworthy person for about 39 years without having received what I thought was a proper reward for my virtue. That was the day, that was the decision …when I crossed over the line and became an active alcoholic. …(w)ith a great sense of relief, I no longer had to pretend. I was giving up the struggle.” – Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, “They Lost Nearly All,” Ch 11 (“He Who Loses His Life”), p 531. Today, when I crossed from compulsive to alcoholic drinking, was I “giving up the struggle” or giving in? Had I reached a point when I justified drinking because my ego had become so twisted that I thought other people, life itself, hadn’t appreciated me enough to give me my just due? For me, whenever I crossed the line between compulsive drinking and alcoholism, I was not “giving up the struggle;” I was giving in. But what difference does it make now? Whenever and whatever the force that drove me to alcoholism, AA tells me it matters only if it fits into my program to clear out the garbage, to reconcile my past with my present and my hopes for my future. And if, indeed, I was one of those who drank out of some deranged belief that I hadn’t gotten what I thought I deserved from people who didn’t praise me, perhaps now I should be grateful that I didn’t get what I deserved. Today, I am an alcoholic grateful to be in recovery. Why I became alcoholic doesn’t matter anymore because knowing the reason won’t “cure” me. But the program will. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M. ************************************************** ~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~ BEAUTY Though we travel the world over to find the beautiful, we must carry it with us or we find it not. ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson ~ "Beauty" and "beautiful" doesn't just describe the outward appearance of people, places, and things. It also describes inner characteristics. Outer beauty may fade with time, but inner beauty can only grow. It shows in the thoughts, attitudes, and emotions we feel in ourselves and sense in others. It is a necessary part of our spiritual progress. Beauty becomes a part of our lives when we learn to like who we really are. It is an "outward show of an inner glow." Beauty also shows itself through good-will, gratitude, balance, and grace. I need to remember that building inner beauty through humility, love, gratitude, and service is a necessary part of my spiritual growth. ************************************************** ~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~ Slump? I ain’t in no slump... I just ain’t hitting. ~ Yogi Berra ~ Flat times in our lives require a bigger perspective. Sometimes we can’t pinpoint what is wrong, except that we don’t have our usual spirit. We get up in the morning and life seems drab even while the sun smiles through the window. Other times we know that we have good reason to not be “hitting.” Ups and downs are natural parts of life. In the past, we used alcohol, drugs, and other addictive behaviors to escape the feelings of a slump. We never allowed ourselves to feel sad, lonely, or empty, or to even get acquainted with what our feelings were all about. But in a healthy, more grown-up life we make room for slumps. We know they aren’t permanent, we can tolerate them, and we will feel better later. We gain perspective by living through it. While walking along a rough path, keeping one eye on the middle distance helps to steady our balance. We know that we have felt better in the past, and we will feel better again. Today I will stay on the path. ************************************************** ~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~ If you are truly calm, you stand a chance of surviving much, but calmness is intermittent with me. ~ Florida Scott-Maxwell ~ The calm we feel is proportionate to the faith we have in a Higher Power. Some days are calmer than others. Why does our faith waver? We too easily dispense with the daily routines that can help us be at peace: spending a few moments alone, reading some words of wisdom, praying to our Higher Power for care and guidance. We have probably heard someone say, “If you feel far away from God, it’s not because God moved.” Is it our habit to rely on God for every solution? Do we believe that every experience can benefit us as long as we acknowledge God in it? Do we make it a practice to include God in every decision we make or action we take? When we can answer yes to all of these questions, we’ll discover that our faith no longer wavers. We’ll know that God is close and calm is upon us. I am calm in the company of my Higher Power. Today will run smoothly. ************************************************** ~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~ I can forgive myself I want to learn to treat myself gently, as someone I love, not as someone I hate. I am proud of myself for beginning to change my life in the face of two illnesses. I know that in my heart I seek health and wholeness. But I can't persevere—I can't recover—if I keep cutting myself down. In recovering from my disabilities, I am bound to make some mistakes. If I can look at them for what they really are—reminders that I need to do something differently—I can avoid more guilt or shame and be kinder to myself. I will forgive myself for at least two mistakes I made today. ************************************************* ~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~ Listen and learn. ~ Anonymous ~ Our recovery program has helped us learn to listen. Before recovery we were focused on ourselves. When we talked to others our minds were often elsewhere. We learned how to look at others and nod our heads but our thoughts were really with ourselves. Now that is changing. We listen to others, especially at meetings. We hear what they have to say. We feed our ideas back. We’re beginning to enjoy conversation. Perhaps it is because we no longer feel like we have something to hide. Or perhaps it is because, when we were drinking and using, we did not want to hear what others were saying to us. In the past we needed to protect our secrets — even if they were only secret to us. Now we must protect our newly acquired openness. As we become more open to others, we appreciate those who are open to us. To learn from others, we open our minds and hearts, but also our ears. In listening to others, we learn to care about them — and about ourselves, too. Today I pray that I might always be willing to listen to those around me. ************************************************** ~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~ Successful drug or alcohol recovery involves changing attitudes, acquiring knowledge, and developing skills to meet the many challenges of sobriety. ~ Dennis Daley ~ Twelve Step groups and self-help meetings are your greatest source of safety, security, strength, and support. Without such fellowships, understanding addiction and striving for abstinence would need to be done on your own. Even if you are new to recovery or to a particular meeting group, you will always feel welcome at a recovery meeting. The fellowship shares a common purpose and provides each member with a sense of belonging. By going to meetings and listening to the stories of others, you can hear a wide range of experiences that can be inspirational and beneficial in your own recovery. Meetings are places to recognize and celebrate those who have conquered addiction for one day, one year, or decades. Seeing others who have overcome their addiction can inspire you and provide proof that sobriety is possible. Listening to the stories of addicts offers the chance to reflect on the hardships of addiction and the ways in which your life was once spiraling out of control. Those who have relapsed and come back to the program provide valuable reminders about the downside of relapse. I will keep in mind that a day without a meeting is like a day without sunshine. ************************************************** ~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~ What, after all, is a halo? It's only one more thing to keep clean. ~ Christopher Fry ~ Those of us who continually strive for perfection may find we place incredible demands upon our-selves. One minute we're working toward serenity, and the next we're busy every night of the week. One minute we say we're going to sit down to read, and the next we're up cleaning the house, rushing from room to room in nervous energy. Perfection places an incredible demand upon us to do everything right. But what is right? Is there a right way to do something and a wrong way? The perfectionist in us is always looking for right, but we'll never find it. There really is no right way or wrong way to do anything. It's whatever way we choose. If we choose to try wearing the halo of perfection, we need to know it can be tarnished, tipped to the side, or misplaced every once in a while. I'm no angel, that's for sure, because I'm not perfect. I'm still working on my halo and wings, and that's a lifelong process. ************************************************** ~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~ Finding the real world Our old ideas were often based on misconceptions of how the world was treating us. These misconceptions don’t die easily, and it’s hard to realize that the evils of the world were not what made us suffer. We made ourselves suffer. Our aimless rebellion only led us farther down the road of destruction. There can be no denying that our lifestyle contributed greatly to all the evils. We are reminded of the character who said, “I have found the enemy establishment pig, and he is me!” We come to this realization, and we’re suddenly aware of how beautiful the world is when we just let it be! Have I found the real world? Higher Power, if the world reflects what I see in myself, let me see love, beauty, and kindness. I will explore the real world today by God help me to stay clean and sober today! ************************************************** ~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~ For it is in dying that we find eternal life. ~ THE PRAYER OF SAINT FRANCIS, QUOTED IN TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS ~ Newcomer A friend in recovery showed me a prayer by Saint Francis. Even though it's specific to a particular religion, I find it beautiful and inspiring, until it gets to the very end: "It is by dying that we find eternal life." I don't know what I believe about life after death, but I can't accept that we're supposed to renounce everything in this life or that happiness begins only with death. Sponsor Whether or not our religious beliefs include a literal interpretation of that last line, we can read it figuratively. "Dying" is something that can happen not just to our physical bodies, but also to our egos. Everything in the prayer that leads up to that final statement is about letting go of ego gratification. When we pray to understand rather than to be understood, we're praying for the kind of maturity that a parent has: as good parents, we listen to children with compassion and good humor; we're confident enough of our own adult "turf not to have to defend it. We know, too, that offering unconditional love expands and fills our hearts far more than waiting, with a sense of neediness and deprivation, for love to be offered. If we "die" in this sense, letting go of our self-centered demands, then we waken to "eternal life": our souls wake up. Our bodies don't have to die for this to happen; our self-centered fear does. Today, I'm willing to let go of my ego so that I can become more open to the presence of a Higher Power in my life. ************************************************** ~ THE EYE OPENER ~ We become too easily discouraged when the new man fails to make the grade. What we fail to keep before us is the fact that we are not accountable for the results of our efforts. We are only charged with the responsibility of carrying the message to other alcoholics. Just go about your end of the job, which is sowing the seed, and if the ground is fertile, God in His good time will bring forth the harvest. ************************************************** ~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~ Then and Now That was then—when my heart was drawn to evil. Every moment was a trap waiting for me. Every word spoken was a lie and hurtful. I felt only sadness and pain. My eyes saw nothing but darkness. My days were filled with despair and doubt. This is now—my heart is filled with Your love. Every moment offers new opportunity. Words spoken are truthful and kind. I feel joy and warmth. I awaken to another beautiful day. My days are filled with faith and hope. ************************************************* ~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~ BEWARE THE DOG! He that passeth by, and meddleth with strife belonging not to him, is like one that taketh a dog by the ears (Proverbs 26:17). If, when those around you are talking negatively about something or someone, you chip in with your contribution, you are taking a strange dog by the ears—so look out! If you get emotionally entangled in what is not your affair, through indignation, self-righteousness, hatred, or otherwise, you have seized the dog again—and he will bite. And even to think negatively concerning such matters in the secret chamber of your own heart, will bring you proportionate and natural punishment. It is always right to think rightly about any person or situation, and if you do this many opportunities will come to you to help people practically, without any breach of law, and without coming near the dangerous dog. ************************************************** ~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~ More Inside Abundance is a blessing to the wise; the use of riches in discretion lies. ~ Richard Cumberland ~ “When entered the Peace Corps, I believed that if all the poor people in America had more money, their problems would be solved,” Annie told me. “Then, after living in the New York City ghetto for a year, I realized that what these people needed was not more money, but more consciousness. They needed to learn to handle the money they had; many of them would spend any additional funds they received on liquor, gambling, or things that would only hurt them more. Money is not the answer; the answer is wisdom, understanding, self-respect, and richer values.” There is a theory that if all the money in the world were redistributed equally among every person on the planet, within six months all the money (or absence of it) would be exactly where it was before the redistribution. This is because each of us manifests not according to external conditions, but according to our consciousness. At every given moment, we are creating according to what we believe; if we wish to change our external circumstances, we must first change our awareness. I read about a philanthropic program in which two wealthy women were offering seed funds to Third World women. Applicants would submit a basic business proposal to the organization, and if approved, they would receive several thousand dollars (a large sum by their standards) to start a business of their choice. If the business was doing well a year later, the applicants would receive another stipend. This system struck me as a wise use of green energy, for it encouraged users to make the most of their initial gifts and offered them the responsibility to expand their own world. The answer to problems is not to get more of something from some–where else; it is to gain more inner awareness so you have the power to attract more of everything forever. Give me the wisdom to use Your gifts properly. I live in an abundant universe. My good proceeds from inside me. |
November 17
Step by Step Today, understanding that not drinking or using by themselves do not equal sobriety or recovery. Addiction is a three-tiered disease of the physical, spiritual and emotional. Abstaining may treat the physical, by it neglects the spiritual and emotional. My self-imposed wounds to my spiritual and mental psyches, not to mention to other people, can be treated only by a basic change from within. The Fourth Step, if thorough and honest, may show that many of the feelings, perceptions and attitudes toward myself, other people and the world were developed in an alcohol- or drug-induced haze. Removing the haze, then, by itself, does not alter those perceptions. Let me understand that the reason for the 12 steps is required for more than staying off alcohol and target the spiritual and emotional for treatment. Today, while swearing off alcohol is a giant step forward, God grant me the knowledge that I must work for recovery and sobriety beyond abstinence alone. On this day, I choose sobriety over dry. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M. ************************************************** ~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~ CHANGE Change is a process, not an event. ~ Anonymous ~ Recovery from our disease does not happen overnight. We may experience an event that stops our compulsion immediately, but recovery is not an event. There are many more things to do than just stop. We hear some people relate great and dramatic moments of spiritual experience when they are utterly and completely changed. If this is so, we are happy for them. But most of us experience a gradual spiritual awakening. If we do things in order, we can realize certain benefits. No one element equals change, but all the elements taken together are change. We did not grow up all at once. We will not recover all at once. There is a real joy in our Fellowship in watching this process in a newcomer. The slow process of change happens week after week. Sometimes it is like watching the hands of a clock; you don't see them move, but time changes. My recovery program is based on change as a process and not an event. If change is a single event, then it happens once and it's over. That doesn't allow for continuing growth. ************************************************** ~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~ Any soldier who has been in combat knows that there comes a time after battle, when the smoke has blown away and the dust has settled, when you must lean over and give your foe a hand. For in that moment of generosity, the war is truly over. ~ Frederick Downs, Jr. ~ Forgiveness is a healing act for both the giver and receiver. It transforms us from unhappy, angry men holding on to old resentments into men who are freed of the past and ready to live at peace in the present. Forgiveness doesn’t mean forgetting. It means that we simply let go of feeling that someone owes us something for past wrongs. It means we write off the bad debts of previous events. Old foes can sometimes even become friends. The foe may have inspired a secret sense of respect in us: how well he fought! We could even say he was a worthy foe and now he can become our respected friend. What we couldn’t see well at close range may become clearer with the distance of time. Personal growth in recovery calls us to name our old enemies and work toward the forgiveness that rewards us with peace of mind. Today I will live in the spirit of forgiveness. ************************************************** ~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~ Pain isn’t fascinating. ~ Sara Theism ~ We often dwell with fascination on the painful situations in our lives. It’s as though we’re compelled to relive the experiences that traumatized us. What is this compulsion? Surely we don’t court pleasure in all this pain. But that may be the insidious hook for some of us. Fortunately, this recovery program will help us, as it has helped many others, discern between healthy pleasure and unhealthy obsession. In our youth, pain may have been so rampant in our lives that we didn’t easily recognize pleasure. Now we need to follow the healthy behavior and attitudes we observe in other women. Even though past pain may still capture our attention, we can shake our mind free of it with determination. I will stand in awe of the miracle of my life today. The truly fascinating thing is that I have survived. There must be a reason. ************************************************** ~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~ I can survive without street drugs With drags, I could handle the ups and downs in my life and in my emotions—or so I thought. Without drags, I see my real problems and feel my true feelings. By letting go of drugs, I've let go of a great deal of control. According to my Twelve Step group, my experience is not unusual (and early recovery is the hardest). I am learning that by working through the loss of my drugs and dealing with my feelings, my moods will lighten and stabilize. I'll sleep better. I'll know better what I need to do, and I'll be better able to do it. I will take five minutes today to think about two advantages I enjoy by staying clean and sober. ************************************************* ~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~ Happiness follows simplicity. ~ Irish Proverb ~ Many of us can remember a time in our childhood when we were walking with an adult and our legs were tired from trying to keep up with the grownup pace. “Slow down,” we might have said. In our fast-paced lives as adults, we would do well to heed that child’s request — to slow down. Maybe our hurry isn’t as necessary as we’ve thought. Maybe it’s a habit from the days when to slow down — to stand or sit still — meant finding out what we were thinking about, what we were planning to do, what our feelings were. We couldn’t afford to know that then. Our lives were filled with pain; to acknowledge the truth about ourselves or our situation might have jeopardized our survival. Today, though, there are things we want to see, things we want to feel. Our recovery depends on it. Besides, we no longer need busy-ness as a shield. In slowing down our lives, we simplify them, and we can enjoy the beauty of recovery. We look at life through clearer eyes, and there’s so much to see! Today help me slow down my life. Help me to be happy and enjoy the simple beauty of rainbows and bluebirds and sobriety. ************************************************** ~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~ If you are aware of your weaknesses and are constantly learning, your potential is virtually limitless. ~ Jay Sidhu ~ Thanksgiving, Christmas, and other end-of-the-year family gatherings can cause you stress and concern, particularly if your family includes those who have drinking or drug problems. Just thinking about being around them can make you wish the holidays would go away. Family history can play a large role in addiction, but oftentimes recovery is not a shared family experience. Despite having knowledge of the genetic predisposition for alcoholism in your family, many family members may be in denial about their own drinking or the drinking of others. They may ignore such behavior or simply accept it as part of the “family experience.” Even if they are aware of your recovery, some relatives may encourage you to drink or disparage the program and the people in it. While you may dread the upcoming holidays because you will be around alcohol and family members who will be drinking, keep in mind that the good habit you have acquired—recovery—may not be going unnoticed. Your commitment to abstinence and the changes you are making may be a powerful example to others, especially your children and young family members. I will remember that others can see the positive impact recovery has had on my life. ************************************************** ~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~ It is universally admitted that there is a natural healing power resident in the body. . . . Many people have learned to relax and to keep quiet like the animals, giving nature a free opportunity to heal their maladies. ~ Horatio W. Dresser ~ Have we ever met people who never seem to get sick? They eat well, get plenty of rest and exercise, and generally seem to give physical health a priority. Then there are those who always seem sick, and they seem more concerned about their sickness than in getting better. Medical studies have found a direct correlation between people's emotional and physical states. The person who thinks positive thoughts and expresses emotions usually spends less time being sick than someone who has a mind filled with stinking thinking.- We are our own healers. Our minds and bodies tell us when to eat, sleep, and relax. When we listen, we are in touch with the ways we can help ourselves feel better. It's our choice—we can feel healthy or we can feel sick. Which will it be? Tonight I can learn to listen to my body and respect its messages. I will take care of myself and get the rest I need. ************************************************** ~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~ Finding happiness How often we mistake pleasure for happiness! Many people enjoy every pleasure on earth, yet they are sad and lonely. Pleasure comes from the world, something outside us. As we learned from our drug-related experiences, pleasure can be deceiving and ungratifying. Pleasure left us no rewards but exacted a heavy toll. The more we sought unrealized dreams, the more unfulfilled we became. Happiness comes from within, from being secure in knowing that we are loved and that our Higher Power loves us. We will know true happiness when we lose sight of ourselves through our love for our Higher Power. Have I found happiness? Higher Power, show me that happiness comes from actively experiencing you in my life. Today I will express my Higher Power’s love by God help me to stay clean and sober today! ************************************************** ~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~ Just about the time you think you can make both ends meet, somebody moves the ends. ~ PANSY PENNER ~ Newcomer Too much is going on today. I was looking forward to a real rest as soon as I'd dealt with a current crisis. Instead of relief, I've suddenly got a whole new problem to handle. Why does everything have to happen all at once? Sponsor One of the most comforting sayings I've heard over and over in this program is "God doesn't send us more than we can handle." We're not able to control the timing of crises, nor can we know what unexpected demands will be made on our reserves. We can drain our energy focusing on the cosmic unfairness of it all, or we can accept that we have to change our plans. When we're flexible, we find resources within us we may not have known we had. When we wonder how we'll manage to keep going in a physically demanding situation—finishing a race, for example, or giving birth—nature provides energy in abundance at the needful moment. Our human spirits, too, find the energy we need to go through whatever is in front of us. Today, my Higher Power doesn't send me more than I can handle. ************************************************** ~ THE EYE OPENER ~ All forward steps in the progress of civilization have been the results of great ideas. All advances in the field of science were first ideas, many of which were conceived years before they became realities. Their creators were thinking far in advance of their times. Alcoholics Anonymous is not a new system of ideas but it is rather a new application of old ideas whose time has come. ************************************************** ~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~ Lord, I Bring Before You Lord, I bring before You The needs of my parents, friends, Brothers, sisters, All whom I love, And all who have asked me to pray for them. I pray that they may experience Your help And the gift of Your comfort, Protection from all dangers, Deliverance from all sin, And freedom from pain. May they give You joyful thanks and praise. Lord, in Your mercy, forgive all our sins against one another. Take from our hearts All suspicion, hard feelings, Anger, dissension, And whatever else may diminish the love We should have for one another. ~ by Thomas a Kempis ~ ************************************************* ~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~ NO OFFICE HOURS God has no office hours. There is never a time when God is unavailable. Day or night, summer or winter, God is always present; always ready to heal, to comfort, to inspire. It is not possible that you could turn to God in prayer without receiving help. The one thing required of you is that you shall turn to Him wholeheartedly, and that you shall expect Him to act. The greater the emergency, the easier will it be to demonstrate. The most powerful of all prayers is simply "Be still, and know that I am God." For the eyes of the Lord run to and fro throughout the whole earth, to show himself strong in the behalf of them whose heart is perfect toward him (2 Chronicles 16:9). ************************************************** ~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~ May I Believe for You? Miracles are performed by those who temporarily have more for those who temporarily have less. ~ A Course in Miracles ~ When Rev. Mary Morrissey asked her mentor Rev. Jack Boland to support her in prayer for an expansion for her church, he asked her, “Would you allow me to believe for you?” Jack was asking Mary if she would be willing to have the project manifested on the strength of his faith. His offer was an invitation to Mary to extend her faith to allow the dream to come true through a mind that temporarily envisioned greater possibilities than she could see. Since that time, the Living Enrichment Center in Wilsonville, Oregon, has become one of the most successful new thought centers in the world, with a huge facility serving many thousands of students of truth. If you find it difficult to believe in something you desire, ask someone to believe for you. Such an invitation requires humility and magnitude: you must be humble enough to admit that you don’t feel you can swing it on your own, and confident enough to believe that it can be done with help. When selecting a prayer partner, choose someone who has manifested good in the area you are seeking to edify. If, for example, you have manifested financial abundance and wish to create a rewarding relationship, invite someone who has a good relationship to pray for you while you hold the vision of their abundance. A Course in Miracles tells us that a little willingness is all that is required to set a miracle in motion. When you declare that you are willing to have your dream come true, no matter by whose hand it is manifested, you signify that willingness. We have the capacity to open the door to miracles for one another. When you cannot believe for yourself, let someone else believe for you. Help me accept Your gifts with a little help from my friends. I am willing to receive support to make my dreams come true. |
November 18
Step by Step “We pocket our pride and go to it, illuminating every twist of character, every dark cranny of the past. Once we have taken this step, withholding nothing, we are delighted. We can look the world in the eye. We can be alone at perfect peace and ease. Our fears fall from us. …We may have had certain spiritual beliefs, but now we begin to have a spiritual experience.” – Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, Ch 6 (“Into Action”), p 75. Today, if I have approached the Fourth Step with reluctance and even fear because I see it as a laundry list of all my wrongs, let me understand that it also has a selfish and cathartic benefit. If I have hidden my wrongs, fears and dread in a dark and locked closet and I can muster the courage and honesty to unlock the door and confront them, I have given voice and identity to those defects. In doing that, I can see what remedy needs to be done. With faith and determination in doing what has to be done, I might even have enthusiasm to do whatever it takes. With that, I can give myself permission not to fear the wrongs of my life any longer, and that fear might be rendered powerless. And in overcoming my fear to face myself, then and now, I might understand for the first time what spiritual experience means. Today, I can begin the job of beginning. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M. ************************************************** ~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~ CAME TO BELIEVE Trust God, Clean House, Help Others! ~ Anonymous ~ We have never believed as we are now believing. The process of coming to believe was a restoration to sanity for us. The strength to move into action came from this belief. We needed to accept this Step to start us on the road to recovery. We nave made a trip from a dark, lost land to a place of light and beauty. We were given a new insight and a different kind of knowledge. We came to believe in a Power greater than ourselves, higher than we were, and able to do for us what we couldn't do for ourselves. Once we got that far, a new world of freedom and choice was opened up to us. When I came to believe in Step Two, I was introduced to the most transforming and loving Power I shall ever find. That Power showed me a way out of my crazy life. ************************************************** ~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~ Willingness to accept responsibility for one’s life is the source from which self-respect spring. ~ Joan Didion ~ We all know the struggle with shame and self-blame. It is a painful issue and has often been the source of many other bad choices. When we don’t think we are very important, we may dismiss relationships with others as meaningless; we disappear from them and cause great harm in the process. We make self-defeating choices because we feel that we don’t really matter anyway. It’s possible to remain in this state of low self-esteem for years, feeling mystified about how to gain a better self-image. The truth is both quite simple and challenging. When we hold values and live by them, we respect ourselves. This doesn’t require perfection. It requires that when we make mistakes or fall short of our values, we admit it. By so doing we reaffirm our respect for our values even though, this time, our actions didn’t match them. In this way we remember that who we are is not the same as what we do. Today I will take responsibility for my actions. ************************************************** ~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~ When you always do what you always did, you always get what you always got. When I isolate, I get lonely. When I reach out, someone is there. ~ Mary Timberlake ~ How lucky we are to have this program and the Twelve Steps as a blueprint for living. We are building a new foundation, one that will help us handle situations more successfully than we did in years past. Habits are hard to change, but we can grow in positive ways. We can discard the old behaviors that hurt us. An inventory will show us that we already have outgrown some of them. We will change, given enough time and patience and willingness. Of this we can be certain. Oftentimes we can clearly see positive changes in our friends. Taking note of their changes will help us see that we are changing too. For example, we feel less self-pity or “justifiable” anger today. We infrequently ruin an entire day because of crippling anxiety. If we pause occasionally and pay attention to who we are becoming, we will have many moments worthy of celebration. Today I will choose not to stay stuck in the old but to grow and change in the new. ************************************************** ~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~ I feel better when I share my story When I think about letting anyone know that I have a chemical or mental health problem, I'm afraid they won't understand or won't accept me. I'm afraid that they'll judge and abandon me. Disclosing my struggle with a dual disorder is a risk. But my therapist is helping me by being a good example of a safe and trustworthy person. She respects me. She listens to me say what I need to say, in my own time. She shows me that I can still be accepted, no matter what I do or say. Through her, I am learning to let go and trust. When I talk about my story with her, I feel better. I will try "letting go" in my Twelve Step meeting and share a little about my ongoing recovery. ************************************************* ~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~ God is not found in the soul by adding anything, but by a process of subtraction. ~ Meister Eckhart ~ When we meet someone new and they ask us about ourselves, we often answer by saying something like, “I’m a bricklayer,” or “I’m a housewife,” or “I’m a stockbroker.” Yet, we are much more than those things. That is merely what we do, not who we are. We are not car owners or home owners. We may own cars or homes, but this is only part of our real identity. In fact, these things have little to do with our real, spiritual lives. In the days of our active addiction, we had little inner life except pain. We came into recovery stripped of any identity except as addicts suffering from a disease. We were bankrupt. But now, stripped of things that had no real value, we were able to find God. When we subtract such things as false pride, envy, anxiety, anger, and self-pity from our inner lives, we let in the light we need to find God. The more negatives we take away, the more light comes into our lives. And it’s easy to do — all we need to do is turn our will and our lives over to God, as we understand Him. Our Higher Power will surely make His presence felt in our lives, and as we grow spiritually, we will see the results more and more clearly. Today let me know the real me, and feel the presence of God inside. ************************************************** ~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~ No man or woman is uniformly successful... we must all expect a rather high percentage of failure in the things we attempt. ~ Barnaby Keeney ~ Everyone in life experiences setbacks and failures. But when you focus solely on those times in which you have not succeeded, you may find it hard to build and strengthen your self-confidence. Self-confidence can certainly be buoyed by great success, but it is not solely reliant upon your being a successful person. It is a feeling that, no matter what the outcome of any situation, you can survive and thrive. Without this feeling of trust in yourself, respect for your capabilities, and surety in who you are as a person, you may find il difficult to face even the smallest of challenges. Before you tackle any challenge, find out everything you can about what it is you need to do. Just as studying before an exam can benefit your final score, empowering yourself with knowledge before you take action can help you feel better prepared. Rather than try to take on a huge task all at once, identify small, attainable goals that will decrease the size of the task and bring you closer to its achievement. I will work on small things first so I can build the confidence I need to take on the big things in life. ************************************************** ~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~ The past is our cradle, not our prison. . . . The past is for inspiration, not imitation; for continuation, not repetition. ~ Israel Zangwill ~ A history book informs us about the past. It gives us an objective picture of what life was like during particular time periods. With such a view, we can then see how far we've come. How do we apply our own histories to our present lives? We can learn much from our past. It may tell us about some uninspiring things and some negative experiences. But it can also give us clues about our present behaviors, personalities, and mood swings. It can tell us about our dreams and desires, gifts and goals, talents and tastes. We can use our past as a springboard for our present way of living. We can look away from the negatives of the past and choose not to imitate or perpetuate such negativity. We can then reflect upon the good parts of our past and use them to inspire our present work. How can I use the good parts of my history for my best benefit? ************************************************** ~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~ Striving for progress We are not perfect. And because we are not perfect, we cannot expect to work the pro-gram perfectly. We don’t benefit from sitting around feeling sorry for ourselves because we don’t work the Steps to perfection. We only divert energy from working the Steps better. All that’s necessary is to make an honest effort at progress. Instead of feeling over-whelmed by all we have to do, we just have to be willing to do it. We are not perfect. We only strive for progress. Am I still trying? Higher Power, let me be satisfied with my progress and not expect perfection from an imperfect being. I will strive to progress spiritually today by God help me to stay clean and sober today! ************************************************** ~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~ True worship is not a petition to God: it is a sermon to ourselves. ~ ABRAHAM JOSHUA HESCHEL ~ Newcomer I don't understand why, but prayer always seems to make my day go better. It doesn't matter so much what the prayer is; it's the act of doing it. It's beginning to feel more like a conversation, less like begging. Sponsor When we have the courage to connect with our deepest selves in meditation and prayer, we learn who we are. We become aware that we have a purpose in life. Letting go of active addiction was only the beginning. Continuing the path of recovery requires us to take actions: attending meetings, working the Steps, giving service, and not picking up our addiction are becoming second nature. We pay attention to the requirements for maintaining the health of our bodies and minds. We are no longer afraid to sit still with our feelings. We experience sobriety in our relationships and work lives, showing up for things we find difficult as well as for what seems easy. We begin to address the particular needs of a self that we've neglected and numbed. We no longer deny our souls the nourishment they needs. Prayer can heal, strengthen, and lift our spirits. Today, any difficulties I may experience are opportunities to turn to my Higher Power for guidance and strength. Prayer gives me courage as I go through the day. ************************************************** ~ THE EYE OPENER ~ Money is a medium of exchange and is as good as the things you can get with it. If you have enough money in your pocket when you fall overboard it can drown you. Love of money can make you the most despised of men, but love of mankind can make your money a blessing to you and to them. ************************************************** ~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~ Jumping-Off Place O Lord, remind me of when I could not imagine life either with alcohol or without it. I knew loneliness such as few know. I was at the jumping-off place. I wished for the end. The Program, the Fellowship, and my surrender to You has shown me how to get out from under. This new way of living has not consigned me to a life that is stupid, boring, and glum. I have found a release from care, boredom, and worry. Life means something at last. My imagination has been fired. I believe the most satisfactory years of my existence lie ahead. Thank You, God. ~ Adapted from material in Alcoholics Anonymous, Fourth Edition, page 152 ~ ************************************************* ~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~ DIVINITY WITHIN Perhaps the second best prayer ever written is the Scotsman's prayer—"Lord, give us a good conceit of ourselves." You cannot have too much respect for yourself. You cannot have too much confidence in yourself. You cannot claim too much for yourself. But remember that you must realize these things as being the expression of God in you and not independent qualities of your own. You must also accept them as being true for every other human being. Nothing but failure can come of self-depreciation. Of course, it is true that stupid people can get the malady called "swelled head"— and this always ends in a fall but the realization of one's divine selfhood never gives swelled head. It gives wisdom, balance, poise, and steady progress. Think, talk, live your divine, glorious selfhood, and it will demonstrate itself in your life. I have said, Ye are gods; and all of you are children of the most High (Psalm 82:6). ************************************************** ~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~ Scan Your Lines Through your holy relationships, reborn and blessed...thousands will rise to heaven with You. ~ A Course in Miracles ~ Every night while you sleep, the telephone company is examining your circuitry. The phone company runs a massive diagnostic scan of every phone line in its system to see if there are any faulty connections. If they discover a bad line, they will repair it at the company or come out to your house to fix it. In the same way, we need to scan our relationships daily and see if there are any that need attention. Each day, sit in meditative prayer for a few minutes and feel if any of your relationships are out of harmony. Are you harboring any irritations you have not dealt with? Do you have any long-standing grudges? Is there someone you want to appreciate and acknowledge, but have not? Have you made any commitments you need to follow through on? Has someone made a commitment to you that you need to remind him or her to complete? Do you need to make any changes you are delaying acting on? Have you pushed anyone out of your heart? Is there someone you can serve better? Ask God to show you if you can bring any of your relationships into greater love and integrity. You don’t need to labor over the process; just relax your mind and see who pops into your awareness. If someone does, you are being called to bring that relationship into greater peace. Jesus taught, “Before you bring your gift to the altar, settle with your brother.” We cannot be present with God if we are unhealed with our neighbor. Years ago, I had a conflict with someone and did not see him for a long time. Every time someone would talk about forgiveness, his face would pop into my mind. Finally, after 11 years, I wrote him a letter. The moment I dropped it in the mailbox, I felt free. Our relationships were meant to bring us joy and empowerment. If anyone is not, Spirit is calling you to heal it. Then you can wake up in the morning and have all of your lines available. Help me to heal my heart and be at peace with my brothers and sisters. I enjoy harmony with all my relations. |
November 19
Step by Step ” …(T)he main problem of the alcoholic centers in his mind, rather than in his body. If you ask him why he started on that last bender, the chance are he will offer you any one of a hundred alibis. Sometimes these excuses have a certain plausibility, but none of them really makes sense in the light of the havoc an alcoholic’s drinking bout creates. They sound like the philosophy of the man who, having a headache, beats himself on the head with a hammer so that he can’t feel the ache.” – Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, Ch 2 (“There Is a Solution”), p 23. Today, I will not waste time asking why I set out on the pattern of drinking that led me to where I am today. The answer is simple and obvious: I am an alcoholic. And if a gnawing question persists why I am an alcoholic, the answer probably lies in my Fourth Step. How many mornings, days and nights did I beat myself on the head with a hammer so I couldn’t feel the ache of physical, emotional and spiritual agony? In the program, I am armed with an arsenal to counter that agony, to focus not so much on how to live without alcohol but to recover in sobriety. Why did I set off that pattern of drinking that got me here, in this program? I am alcoholic. That simple. Today, I can deal with it. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M. ************************************************** ~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~ PROBLEMS HAPPEN Today was rough, but that's O.K I used to have years that were rough. ~ Anonymous ~ Problems happen whether we are in recovery or not. Recovery does not guarantee us a life free from struggle, pain, or problems. It's not a direct flight to a magically safe place. When we got into our recovery program, the world did not stop and salute us. Recovery is about learning to exist in a world where crummy things can happen. We are given tools that help us deal with life. The more we use the tools, the better we can live with life's realities and cope. The 12 Steps, good sponsorship, service work, and especially meetings are tools. Choosing a home group, having a sponsor, and attending meetings gives us an ever- present opportunity to handle problems and be with people who can help us. When we have problems and bad days, we no longer need to deal with them by ourselves. When problems come and upset me, I have learned to get help and talk about them. ************************************************** ~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~ Nothing is more desirable than to be released from an affliction> but nothing is more frightening than to be divested of a crutch. ~ James Baldwin ~ We don’t realize how attached we are to something until we lose it. Even our burdens can be the focus of our lives. When we have the affliction of addiction, we don’t want all the problems it creates: the financial woes, the disrupted relationships, or the sick and tired feelings. In our codependency we have relied on our ability to control situations and pick up the pieces after others messed up. But it’s very frightening to give up what was our escape. We wonder what we will do with our time and where we will turn for comfort. Everything changes when we see this fear as a spiritual problem. In our addiction mode we responded from the impulsive part of our brain. Without rationality, we impulsively reached for comfort and pleasure. Now the spiritual path shows us a new alternative. Our fears about giving up our crutch are fears that we will not be safe and comfortable. With a relationship to the God of our understanding, we can rely on a Higher Power to care for anything we fear. Today I will not impulsively react to my anxiety. Instead I will turn it over to my Higher Power and walk confidently forward. ************************************************** ~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~ Whenever I am blaming someone else, I find that I am just avoiding my own feelings of loss or grief. ~ Rose Casey ~ The desire to blame someone else for a troubling situation is strong at times. We may even seem obsessed by our need to blame. With maturity in the program, however, we are becoming willing to take responsibility for every part of our lives. It takes lots of time, but we need to remember that this is a program of progress, not perfection. The connection between our losses and our desire to blame others is rarely clear at first. It’s not unusual for us to minimize our losses. In doing so we recognize at times a sadness or an ennui that we can’t explain. Our natural response is to blame our feelings on someone else. Fortunately, we are learning that blaming others doesn’t make us feel better. The need to blame others will diminish when we learn that patience, along with practicing the principles of the program, will lift our spirits. Today I will refrain from blaming anyone else for circumstances in my life. Taking responsibility may not be familiar, but I can start doing it in every part of my life and know that I will feel good doing so. ************************************************** ~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~ I am enjoying a newfound balance When my dual disorder was undiagnosed and untreated, I reacted sharply to my fluctuating moods. I used mood-altering chemicals to try to compensate. But I succeeded only in deepening my cycles and developing an addiction. In recovery I feel as though I'm finally climbing off a teeter-totter. Instead of just reacting to changing moods, I am beginning to stabilize them and to maintain them. In the morning I exercise, meditate, eat, and go to work. In the evening I walk the dogs, eat, read or watch TV, talk to friends, and take my medication. At bedtime I pray. It's simple, it's structured, and it works. I will thank my higher power for my progress and tell my group about my routines. ************************************************** ~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~ Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication. ~ Leonardo da Vinci ~ Just as you need to remember to “Keep it simple” in your recovery, so too is it important to keep your life simple. Having too many things to do or striving to effect too many changes at once can have a negative impact upon your focus and energy level. Today you can resolve to simplify your life. Take a look at all of the things you want to accomplish and ask, “What is it that I really need to do right now?” By focusing on a few things rather than a long list of tasks, you will be better able to concentrate your time and energy on those things that are most important. In your professional life, strive to limit the number of meetings or tasks scheduled in your day. If you feel over-burdened, ask your supervisor for guidance on how to prioritize your work load. In your personal life, take note of those who ask or expect too much from you and set limits with them, including the organizations and committees in which you are involved. Above all, strive to set aside time each day for yourself to experience peace, quiet, and relaxation. By simplifying my life I will have more time, greater focus, and less stress. ************************************************** ~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~ Never accuse others to excuse yourself. ~ Anonymous ~ How many times have we blamed our feelings at the end of a day on the boss, co-workers, teachers, parents, or even the person who cut us off on the road? It's true we may feel anger or resentment toward any one of those people, but they didn't cause our feelings. We are the sole owners of our feelings. We're the ones who bought them, and we're the ones who will hold on to them. When we're ready to let go of them, that's when we won't feel them any longer. There are no excuses we can use to justify our feelings. The program teaches us to look inward at ourselves, not outward at the effects of the universe. Tonight we can look inward and survey the feelings we have. We can choose to keep them, or let them go. No matter what the circumstances of the day, all the feelings I have are mine. Tonight I can let go of the ones I don't want and hang on to those that feel good. ************************************************** ~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~ The chains that bind Our self-centeredness and resentments are the chains that bind us. It makes little difference whether these faults are outstanding or subtle, whether they are justified or unjustified. We are still in a bind. It matters little whether we are held by a slender thread or by a heavy rope. If we are anchored, we won’t be freed until we decide to break the bond that holds us. A thin thread may be more easily broken, but we must decide to break it or it will stay put. Unless our attachment to negative attitudes and actions is broken, our union with the Divine Source is hindered. Have I broken free of my bonds? Higher Power, help me discover and release the character defects that keep me from uniting with you. Today I will try to break free of self-centeredness by God help me to stay clean and sober today! ************************************************** ~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~ It is difficult to stop in time because one gets carried away. But I have that strength; it is the only strength I have. ~ CLAUDE MONET ~ Newcomer I love to start new things—work assignments, artistic projects, even relationships. But then I hang on and can't let go when things are finished. I make up my mind and then change it. I don't know if it's self-doubt or what. Sponsor One of the many shapes perfectionism can take is difficulty with completing things. Some of us slow down as we reach an ending. Perhaps we fear that we'll lose the part of ourselves that has been alive and engaged. Or we fear criticism and rejection, both of which we'll risk when we let our work into the world, or when we commit ourselves to a decision. We slow down or even abandon something we've given much of ourselves to, to avoid ending it. Or we keep going when we should stop and redo what is already good enough. The myth that perfection is possible feeds and is fed by the sense of inadequacy that characterizes our addictions. It keeps us from the pleasure and pain of finishing. It shuts off our connection with our intuition, which usually knows when enough is enough. In recovery, we can receive gratification and self-esteem from finishing unfinished business. Today, I work toward completion. I stop when I see that there is no more to be done. ************************************************** ~ THE EYE OPENER ~ A large segment of humanity, stumbling in alcoholic darkness, resigned to a belief that nothing can possibly be done about the situation, has at long last caught a gleam of light and presses on to that beacon of Hope. Alcoholics Anonymous is that light shining forth in the night of despair, and your hand holds the torch. Be sure you hold it high, that all suffering alcoholics may see it, and direct their faltering steps over the proven pathway that you trod. ************************************************** ~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~ Help Dear God, this I pray. Help me until I can trust my own thoughts, Encourage me until I regain my self-esteem, Love me until I am able to love myself, Protect me from my demons until I can fight them with You. ************************************************* ~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~ WHY WORRY? Nothing is really worth worrying about. Nothing is really worth getting angry or hurt or bitter about. Positively nothing is worth losing your peace of mind over. These important truths follow logically upon the following feet: You are going to live forever—somewhere. This means that there is plenty of time to get things right again if they have gone wrong. No matter what mistake you may have made, enough prayer will overtake it and cancel it. If those you love seem to be acting foolishly, you can help them with prayer to be wiser, and, meanwhile, if they suffer, it means that kindly nature is teaching them a lesson that they need to learn. But suppose something awful should happen? Well, what then? Suppose you lost everything and landed in the poorhouse. What then? Think what a wonderful demonstration you could make there, and you would probably learn several valuable lessons there, and, anyway, it would be quite interesting. Suppose the whole universe blew up. What then? When the dust settles, God will still be in business and you will be alive somewhere, ready to carry on. Cast thy burden upon the Lord, and He shall sustain thee: He shall never suffer the righteous to be moved (Psalm 55:22). ************************************************** ~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~ Sharks or Goldfish? They can do all because they think they can. ~ Virgil ~ “How big will this shark get?” asked Richard, an aquarium enthusiast. “That depends on the size of your aquarium,” answered the pet sales–man. “Keep him in this little area, and he’ll stay seven inches; give him an entire ocean, and he’ll get big enough to eat you.” Sharks, like goldfish, will grow in proportion to the size of the environment offered them. And so will thoughts. Give your positive or negative thoughts some space and food, and they will shape your life. Behold the power of potential and attention. We can make anything we want out of our lives; we have the raw material to do it all. But we must choose what we want to make, or else we will be subject to the downward pull of mass thinking. If you don’t use your mind, someone else will. An Indian came to a medicine man and told him, “In my mind there are two dogs fighting all the time; one is beautiful and one is ugly.” “The beautiful one will win,” answered the shaman. “Why is that?” asked the brave. “Because you will feed the beautiful one.” Give me the wisdom and strength to nourish the good, the beautiful, and the true. I am free to build the life I choose. |
November 20
Step by Step ” …(T)he man with the grown-up brain and the childish emotions – vanity, self-interest, false pride, jealousy, longing for social approval, to name a few – become a prime candidate for alcohol. …(T)hat is the definition of alcoholism: a state of being in which the emotions have failed to grow to the stature of the intellect. …(T)here are some alcoholics who seem terribly, terribly grown-up, but …they are trying to make themselves think they are grown-up, and the strain of their effort is what is causing them to drink – a sense of inadequacy, a childish vanity to be the most popular, the most sought after, the mostest of the most. And all this, of course, is, in the popular modern jargon, ‘compensation’ for immaturity’.” – Alcoholics Anonymous, “They Lost Nearly All,” Ch 11 (“He Who Loses His Life”), pp 534-35. Today: ” …emotions have failed to grow to the stature of the intellect.” Somewhere along the line, something impeded my emotional development that lent itself vulnerable to a false “stimulus” – alcohol. Accepting that my alcoholism is partly an emotional disease, I also must accept that abstinence by itself is not enough to obtain sobriety. And this is when I must look to the First and Second Steps – to accept my powerlessness and open myself to the possibility of a higher power that might show me the way. Such is the basis of recovery; without surrender to these two basic but essential steps, the emotions that contributed to my flawed character likely will not heal. Today, I pray for the healing to begin. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M. ************************************************** ~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~ HASTE Make haste slowly. ~ Augustus ~ It is natural for a newcomer to be impatient and want to know everything possible about recovery quickly. So many efforts have been made in the past toward staying abstinent, with no results, that the addict is sick and tired of the discouragement that followed every failure. As soon as they were aware that success could at long last be theirs, beginners sometimes thought they must waste no time in being experts on the subject of addiction and recovery. The old saying "haste makes waste" is still good advice. Many a quick learner discovers that when they rush into "educating the whole world" after only a short time in recovery, they often have been looking only at surface truths. Fortunately, such "eager beavers" quickly learn to dig deeper into the process of admitting and accepting before tackling the job of being a teacher, even to themselves. When I was new to the Program, I needed to remember that I couldn't learn everything overnight. I was told to carry the message, but first I had to find out what it was. ************************************************** ~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~ A life lived in fear is a life half lived. ~ Roma proverb ~ Facing our fears is part of our spiritual development. First we must admit them. We were raised to be dishonest about our fear, to betray our own consciousness by saying we were not afraid. When we get honest, we see how many things we have avoided, how often we felt tense and uneasy, all because we were afraid. We worry that there won’t be enough to fill our needs, that we will be alone, that we won’t survive a difficult time. But something mystical happens when we learn at a deep level to turn what we cannot control over to the care of God. For most of us, we don’t absorb this mystery all at once, then live without fear. It is something we keep returning to. We worry about a speech we have to make... and then we remember to turn it over to God and feel peaceful again. We worry about a trip we will be taking . . . and then come back to our spiritual peace. We worry about the health of a loved one... and then turn it over. This spiritual practice is a centerpiece of our healing journey. Today I will keep returning to the peace that comes when I turn the future over to the care of God. ************************************************** ~ EACH DAY A NEW BEGINNING ~ (Daily Meditations For Women) ~ Continuous effort—not strength or intelligence—is the key to unlocking our potential. ~ Liane Cordes ~ Perseverance may well be our greatest asset. As we forge ahead on a project, it loses its power over us. Our confidence and abilities grow in concert with our progress on the project, preparing us to tackle the next one too. We have something special, uniquely our own to offer in this life. And we also have the potential to offer it successfully. However, we don't always realize our potential. Many of us stifled our development with fears of failure, low self-worth, assumed inadequacies. The past need plague us no longer. Help is readily available for us to discover our capacities for success. Abilities stand ready to be tapped, goals and projects await our recognition. Any commitment we make to a task that draws our interest will be reinforced by God's commitment to our efforts. We have a partner. Our efforts are always doubled when we make them—truly make them. I will not back away from a project today. I will persevere and find completion. I'll feel completed. ************************************************** ~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~ All my days are not wonderful, but I know what “wonderful” is. ~ Ruthie Albert ~ What is “wonderful”? Is it being full of wonder? Are our grateful moments among the wonderful ones? Perhaps. When we’re awed by the mystery of our personal salvation, we experience pure wonderment. How did we get free of our addiction and why? Living in the aura of gratitude can make most experiences wonderful. We can’t imagine why we have been graced, but we no longer doubt that our recovery is by design. That keeps us filled with wonder. We can choose to focus on this feeling. Why don’t we choose to feel wonderful every day? Maybe that’s part of the disease we share. We may think we don’t deserve much happiness. It’s surely possible, however, to feel it with more regularity. There is no better time than now to make the decision. My life is truly a miracle. I have been chosen for this journey, and this fact fills me with wonder. ************************************************** ~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~ I need to remind myself that "easy does it" When I first came to grips with my addiction and mental health issues, I thought a dozen Twelve Step meetings would cure me of my drug and alcohol problems. I thought that my psychiatric medication would quickly cure me of my anxiety and depression. I had no idea about the process and progress of recovery— the slips, the relapses, and setbacks. But I am slowly recognizing that my expectations were unrealistic and naive. I see better now that I have several issues to deal with and that recovering will take some time. It doesn't help to expect perfection or to punish myself for mistakes. What does help, however, is to be very gentle with myself. I will pray to understand, forgive, and accept myself. ************************************************* ~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~ We cannot teach love and be consistently loving until we stop blaming others and ourselves. ~ Gerald G. Jampolsky ~ Blame can become an automatic response to the troubles we encounter in living. The habit of blaming others for our problems keeps us stuck on a merry-go-round fueled by self-pity. When we consistently look outside ourselves for a scapegoat, life and the blaming game drain our energy. And when we distract ourselves like that, we are not taking positive action to change. We are powerless to change other people. When we keep holding others responsible for our troubles, we make them responsible for our happiness, too. Then we are ever ready to be hurt by them again and again. When we look at the world through blaming eyes, we block our own ability to experience love. Love asks that we gently and gradually let go of the blaming habit and try to focus instead on what we can change in ourselves and our lives. When we take responsibility for ourselves, we find a whole new sense of power, purpose, and happiness. Today let me feel the freedom and power of becoming responsible for my own happiness as I learn to stop blaming. ************************************************** ~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~ Integrity is telling myself the truth. And honesty is telling the truth to other people. ~ Spencer Johnson ~ Those who use and abuse are adept at all forms of lying— from the art of deception to the ability to create convincing stories filled with misdirection and misinformation. Addiction is, quite simply, full of lying. The greater and longer your immersion was in using, the easier lying may have become for you. Just as you convinced others to believe your lies, so too may you have convinced yourself that all of the falsehoods you told were realities. After a while, it may have become as hard for you to distinguish the truth from mistruth as it was for others. Recovery helps to strip away the falsehoods from your life and the need to lie. As you learn to be honest with others, you also learn to be totally honest with yourself. This means you cannot cut corners in your work in recovery, cannot offer excuses for relapse or poor behavior, and cannot embellish stories to bring you greater attention. While honesty may not always be easy, particularly when it presents you with truths that are hard to face, the more you tell the truth the greater the respect will be that you have for yourself. I will be honest with myself and others at all times. ************************************************** ~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~ Life: a diary in which every [one] means to write one story, and writes another. ~ Sir James M. Barrie ~ Did our day today live up to our expectations, or were we greeted by new situations, new knowledge, and new experiences? Oftentimes what we expect is not what we're given. Life is not a known substance. It's many times a delicious new taste we've never had before. To go through each day with a set outcome in our minds will only lead to disappointment and may prevent us from being open to new discoveries. Life cannot be predicted or even imagined. It can only be experienced each minute. Let us not try to write the events of tomorrow until after they've happened. Let us be free to experience all that's in store for us—fresh and new and exciting. What will I write in my diary? Let me meet each new experience of life on its own terms. ************************************************** ~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~ Living in fellowship Without our fellowship, many people would not be able to cross the line to sanity. Letters and visits keep us close to those who are far from meeting places. The fellowship is a joy and a necessity, and many of us believe it is a divine gift from our Higher Power. Perhaps nothing else exists that can so completely multiply all our joys and divide all our grief. Have I given what I can to the fellowship today? Higher Power, may I do one deed today that will increase the beauty of our fellowship. Today I will enjoy the fellowship by sharing God help me to stay clean and sober today! ************************************************** ~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~ Most of the trouble in the world is caused by people wanting to be important. ~ T. S. ELIOT ~ Newcomer Someone I know finally started coming to meetings. I'd told her about this program months ago; she needs it as much as I do. She came for a while, then stopped attending on a regular basis. I've called her several times, but she always brushes me off. Sponsor If you really want to be helpful, do nothing! I can identify with your feelings of concern. In the past, there were many people I forced to listen to my experiences in this program. Most said things such as, "I don't like groups"; "I tried it, but it wasn't for me"; "Maybe someday"; or "I feel sorry for those people; I'm not like them." Still, some of these people stayed in the program, but not because of anything I said. Each of us finds his or her own way to recovery. Telling people what we think they should do seldom makes a difference. It's what they tell themselves that counts. When I insist on trying to rescue someone who sends clear signals that he or she doesn't want help, when I take on responsibilities that aren't my own, I have to ask myself what my motives are. I've sometimes obsessed about an-other person's problems while not facing my own, and then feelings of resentment and superiority have reared their heads. I can't fix anyone else's life; my attempts to do that have usually backfired. It helps to remember that others, like me, have a Higher Power. I can pray for them to find the path that leads to their highest good. And I can let go of having to be right. Today, I am enough. I have enough. I do enough. ************************************************** ~ THE EYE OPENER ~ Man has within him something that is higher than man, and we can lift ourselves beyond our physical and human status in becoming absorbed by the highest instincts in ourselves. Man is mortal, it is true, but you surpass man when you live in strict accordance with the Godlike characteristics you possess. ************************************************** ~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~ With Laughter O God, as the day returns and brings us the silly rounds of irritating duties, help me perform them with laughter and a kind face. Let cheerfulness overflow in my work; Give me joy during my business all this day; Bring me to my resting bed tired and content and grant me the gift of sleep. ~ Adapted from writings by Robert Louis Stevenson ~ ************************************************* ~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~ NEVER LOOK BACK Never look back. Always go right ahead. Even if you are quaking, go right ahead. Jesus said the man who puts his hand to the plow and then turns back, is not worthy of the Kingdom of Heaven. He also said: Remember Lot's wife (Luke 17:32). No matter how unattractive or how dangerous the road ahead may be, it is better than the road back. The road ahead may be veiled from sight—but you must teach yourself to regard the unknown as friendly. Remember that God is always on the road ahead. . . . cause me to know the way wherein I should walk; for I lift up my soul unto thee (Psalm 143:8). ************************************************** ~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~ Light on the Shadow If I keep busy, I won’t have to look at what is frightening me. ~ Anonymous ~ One night Nasrudin’s neighbor Jalami found Nasrudin on his hands and knees under a streetlamp, searching for his house key. Wanting to be of service, Jalami joined Nasrudin on the ground and together poked around in the grass. After 20 minutes, Jalami asked Nasrudin, “Do you remember where you were standing when you dropped the key?” “Yes,” answered Nasrudin, “over there,” pointing to a tree 30 feet from the lamp where the two men were searching. “Then why are you looking for the key here?” Jalami had to ask. “Because there is more light over here.” It is tempting to look in easy places for answers, instead of confronting our inner thoughts and beliefs about ourselves. One of the techniques we use to distract ourselves from facing our fears is to create endless errands, projects, meetings, emergencies, dramas, crises, upsets, and intellectual dances that keep us so occupied that we have little or no time left to be with ourselves. But simply taking a few quiet moments to honestly face what is troubling us may be exactly what we need to heal the insanity we create in our outer circumstances. Enlightenment is an inside job. Doing more in the outer world will not result in more peace; only being more will get us what we want. Peace is attained by letting go of everything that distracts us from it. Step back from your busy-ness and look within, where you will find everything you have ever sought in the outer world, and more. All I really want is to know You. Help me to stay on purpose. Give me the inspiration to look within for my answers. Help me take the time to be with myself and find the peace I seek. In quiet I look within and discover the light I am. |
November 21
Step by Step “Here was – power! …(T)o live to the end of any given day, power to have the courage to face the next day, power to have friends, power to help people, power to be sane, power to stay sober. That was seven years ago – and many AA meetings ago – and I haven’t had a drink during those seven years. …What is this power? With my AA friends, all I can say is that it’s a power greater than myself.” – Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, “They Stopped in Time,” Ch 16 (“Me An Alcoholic?”), pp 436-37. Today, powerless over alcohol – not powerless over everything. In surrendering in Step One, I have begun to reclaim the power to take back what my powerlessness over alcohol cost. I can assert my power not to be controlled by alcohol simply by not drinking. I can take back the power to face the new day with full memory of the day and night before, and I can work for the power to overcome powerlessness, helplessness and hopelessness. The power that is at my command is in the choices I make, and the benefit to have choices is a gift – graced on me by whatever power is greater than myself. Today, while I must acknowledge that over which I am powerless – alcohol – let me respect the power I do possess. God grant that I use it wisely. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M. ************************************************** ~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~ DECISION G.O.D. = Good Orderly Direction. ~ Anonymous ~ When we decided to turn our will and lives over to the care of God as we under-stood Him, we made a declaration of independence. We declared our freedom from the chains of our self-centered ego and the unrelenting demands of our self-will. When we decided that God was God and we were not, we began to receive the wonderful future that had been planned for us. That decision was our claim to a new life. The prison that was our home has been destroyed. We decide to let go and let God on a daily basis. Our wills are always free to decide. We must decide to keep ourselves conscious at all times and listen to the voices that speak to us. We must decide to guard against our ego once again begging to run the show. My will power will only be helpful tome when it is acting in accordance with my decision to let my Higher Power instruct me in the way to go. ************************************************** ~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~ The breeze at dawn has secrets to tell you. You must ask for what you want. Don’t go back to sleep. ~ Rumi ~ We were asleep and now we are awake. The breeze that woke us may have been sharp and biting, but it was a gift that brought us back to consciousness. We carry many wants in our hearts. We needed to wake up to remember them. On this particular day, we can remind ourselves of the things we want most and ask our Higher Power to keep us on our path to find them. It is good to take an inventory of our deepest desires. Most of all we want the healing and recovery that makes all other things possible. Many of us want to be good fathers to our children. We want to feel love and be good partners to our intimate mate. We want to be productive and fulfill our abilities and talents. We want to be good and strong and generous men. Today I am grateful for my awakening to this renewed life. ************************************************** ~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~ God, you’re up all night. You can worry about it; I need to get some sleep. ~ Mary S. ~ If only we could put our minds to rest that easily! We can if we really want to. The Third Step makes it possible. Perhaps we assume that the Third Step doesn’t work for us because we tried it once and we still worried. We need to try again. Why don’t we eagerly grasp this tool? Surely we don’t enjoy worrying. The truth is, we probably do. Worrying may make us feel as if we are doing something about an intolerable situation. The sooner we are able to believe that worrying solves no problems, the sooner we’ll be willing to let God have a crack at them. It takes real commitment to turn to God, over and over, when we are consumed by worry. If we genuinely seek a solution for our problem, we’ll grow in our willingness to try. I can be free of worry today. I can choose to use the Third Step at any moment. ************************************************** ~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~ It will help if I let recovery "happen" I was impatient when I first came into recovery. For example, once I got help with my mental health problems and joined a Twelve Step fellowship for my addiction, I thought I should feel better now. I wanted instant relief, instant recovery. I still get impatient sometimes, but I am getting some perspective. Even with weekly therapy, coming to understand myself will take some time. Even with weekly Step meetings my growth, my changes are subtle. I now see that recovery is a process; one that I need to let happen. Each day, I try to do what I need to do—knowing that I have time. It will help if I practice doing one thing at a time. ************************************************* ~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~ Alcoholism is a disease. ~ E.M. Jellinek ~ Only a generation ago, alcoholism or other drug addiction in a family was cause for great shame. People just didn’t talk about it. Families hid their alcoholism. Most people pretended the disease was not there. Today it is different for many of us. Although the stigma is still present, it is now much more acceptable to talk about our illness and seek treatment. We can join recovery groups for further support. We can listen to the old-timers who have such wisdom and experience. Another great change is that addiction is being seen as a family illness. It’s not just the addicted person who is sick, but every member of the family. Guilt and shame have been unmasked as forces that impair people’s lives, generation after generation. We are grateful for the disease concept and the understanding it has brought to the treatment of addiction. It frees us from shame and helps us learn to love ourselves again. Today help us all come to understand that addiction is not a lack of character or moral strength, but an illness, and that it is toxic not only to one person but to the entire family. ************************************************** ~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~ Though no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending. ~ Carl Bard ~ The upcoming holidays offer times in which you can connect with friends and family members. This can also be a time when you can think about reconnecting with one or two people in your life with whom you have had a falling out or hurt through your addiction. On your list of those to whom you usually send out seasonal greetings, add the name of at least one person with whom you would like to make a fresh start. Then convey your feelings to that person with heartfelt honesty in a forgiveness card. A simple greeting might be: “I am so sorry we have not been able to reconnect. I would like to take care of whatever water has gone under the bridge between us and begin anew. If this is not what you would like, then please accept my blessings for good wishes, health, and happiness this season. If this is what you would like, I want you to know how much I look forward to hearing from you.” Sometimes when you share forgiveness and extend a hand, someone else will be open to your overture and offer a hand in turn. I will send a forgiveness card to someone I would like back in my life. ************************************************** ~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~ The first three times you came with the same story [they] would listen and try to help. But if you showed up a fourth time and it was the same old tired things, the others in the circle would just get up and move. . . . It was time you did something about it. ~ Anne Cameron ~ Many of us go to meeting after meeting, talking about the same problem. What are we looking for? What are we asking for? We aren't asking for help, because we usually are given good suggestions that we reject. We aren't looking to make changes, because we keep holding on to the same problem. We may also have been in the opposite position- listening to one who keeps talking about the same problems. After hearing those people for a while, it's easy to want to tune them out. But we can change. We can ask whether we use meetings to air the same grievances. If so, we need to .top complaining and do something. If we hear another doing the same thing, we can learn from that person's unwillingness to change. We can learn the difference between stagnation and growth. I can listen and learn. If I ask for help, let me also be willing to accept it. ************************************************** ~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~ Practicing HOW Principles, principles, principles. We talk so much about the principles of the Twelve Steps, but exactly what are they? how— honesty, open-mindedness, and willingness are surely key ones. By working the Twelve Steps, we live and breathe these three principles. Do I practice honesty, open-mindedness, and willingness at all times? Higher Power, help me be honest, open-minded, and willing every hour of this day. I will practice honesty, open-mindedness, and willingness today hy God help me to stay clean and sober today! ************************************************** ~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~ If you can't be direct, why be? ~ LILY TOMLIN ~ Newcomer I heard someone who'd gone through enormous losses talk at a meeting recently. I reached out to him, invited him to coffee, and gave him my number. He started calling me, and I've enjoyed a lot of what he has to say. But the calls are always longer than I really want them to be. I don't dislike this man, and I really am willing to be a program friend, if we can set some limits. Sponsor Sometimes, out of kindness and the desire to help, you take on more than you can manage, perhaps more than is appropriate. You're not alone; many of us experience some variation of this problem in recovery. Setting and maintaining personal boundaries is a lifelong journey. In situations like the one you describe, directness is important. When we give something we don't really want to give, when we act as if we're more available than we are, we end up with resentment. Forcing ourselves to give against our will distorts our relationships with others as we feed our egos. To give freely, whether of time, money, work, or material things, is a blessing. We experience our own and others' abundance. We can then feel gratitude for what has been given to us. Today, my giving is honest. There are no strings attached. ************************************************** ~ THE EYE OPENER ~ If a reasonable estimate could be made of the fatalities resulting from excessive drinking, the figures would be appalling. This loss, however, is only a small part of the price that Bacchus exacts. The wasted man-hours of work, the homes broken up, the wealth of talent that was never developed, and the loss of moral character are also a part of the bill. You definitely can't drink moderately. Can you afford to drink to excess? ************************************************** ~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~ Trust Higher Power, when I was using, I trusted no one. I lied about everything. Cheating was a way of life. The only thing I could trust was my addiction. When I discovered that was the biggest lie of all, that was the greatest day of my life. Thank You, God, for helping me put my trust in the Program, the Steps, my sponsor, my group, and You, my Higher Power. Little by little, day by day, I am learning to trust again. And the greatest blessing is that others are learning to trust me. ************************************************* ~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~ DIVINE ABUNDANCE When you go down to the seashore, you find what is practically an unlimited supply of sea water at your disposal. There are billions upon billions of gallons there, but the amount that you can carry away will depend upon the vessel with which you have provided yourself. If you take a ten-gallon can, you can get ten gallons, but if you take only a pint pot you can take away only a pint, and if you have nothing bigger than a thimble, you would not be able to take away more than a thimbleful. So it is with divine abundance. The only limit is the limit of our capacity to receive. Thou openest thine hand, and satisfiest the desire of every living thing (Psalm 145:16). ************************************************** ~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~ Divine Alchemy In each holy relationship is the ability to communicate instead of separate reborn. ~ A Course in Miracles ~ I am fascinated by the explosive development of the Internet, one of the most exciting and profound evolutionary leaps in history. Now, I anyone with a computer and phone line can communicate with any other like person on the planet instantly and almost for free. A vast library of knowledge is available at the touch of a finger. Significantly, no institution or government can restrict or inhibit this communication. I asked a computer expert, "Is there some central office for the Internet? If someone pulled out the plug in St. Louis, would the whole system fall apart?" "No," she answered, "and that's the beauty of the net. If any one nexus goes down, any communication will find its way through another path. The net has a life of its own, beyond the control of any person or organization. It's as if the planet has just grown its own electronic nervous system." The Internet was originally designed by the military. The Defense Department wanted a communication system that would be impervious to destruction by a nuclear attack in one central headquarters. So they developed this system that is now bringing billions of people closer together through unlimited communication. The way we keep prejudice, ignorance, and fear alive is by not looking at our enemies. The moment we begin to communicate, we realize that our interests are joined. The more we see and know about one another around the planet, the closer we are to wisdom and peace. The Holy Spirit can use anything for healing. An elaborate defense system can be transformed into a sophisticated healing tool. This is divine alchemy, taking the lead of life and turning it into gold. Nothing is beyond God's ability to use for healing. Take the lead of my life and turn it into gold. Take my pain and turn it into strength. Let my tears become a cleansing stream. Replace my fear with faith. Let me find Your hand everywhere. Heaven comes alive with the master's touch. |
November 22
Step by Step Today: choices. The ones I make now can partly measure my progress in the program and the quality of my sobriety. As a drinking alcoholic, my choices were based on lies, fear, anger, loneliness, resentment and selfishness. As a recovering alcoholic, my choices should be rooted in truth, logic, without emotion and with a sense of the greater good instead of just mine. My choices then and now, while hopefully made from different perspectives, retain one constant: in the end, there are consequences of my choices and I alone am responsible to those consequences. Unlike then, however, now I can think to the consequences of my choices and, if I see those consequences to be too heavy, sobriety gives me the freedom to choose wisely. Drinking denied me that freedom; choices then almost always produced consequences that are even now too costly. Today, being sober, I have the freedom of choice, and I pray for the higher power’s wisdom that I make the right choices. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M. ************************************************** ~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~ WHAT IF… The lesson I must learn is simply that my control is limited to my own behavior and my own attitudes. ~ Anonymous ~ Many times we try to have knowledge of the will of God before we are ready. Every time we try to guess about tomorrow, we stop living today. All will be revealed to us in due time. The proper hour for an answer will come not a minute too soon nor a minute too late. The only moment we can affect is the present one. When we try to second-guess the future, we feel anxiety. Thoughts on the future are always done with our worry cap pulled tightly over our ears. We can no longer hear the will of God revealed, because our ears are covered up. When we play the “what if” game, we always lose. When we “what if” the future, we create fear and anxiety that runs deep. “What if” will tell us to go backward, to where we are secure and have experience. I will have faith that God does not play games with me. I won't “what if” tomorrow. ************************************************** ~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~ It is our choices ...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities. ~ J. K. Rowling ~ Intelligence, talent, skill, achievement, and wealth are wonderful assets. But we all know people with these assets whom we don’t admire. The man we most admire is the one who plays a bad hand well. No matter how smart or limited a guy may be, how physically strong or weak, or how high or low his job is, what we admire most in a guy is how he deals with his circumstances. Our task today is to make the choices that we respect most, rather than the choices that only serve our hungry egos. We can cultivate a generous, tolerant, self-respecting character by choosing attitudes and actions to express these traits. We can welcome newcomers, forgive those who have hurt us, include those who are different from us, and be generous to everyone. When we follow that path, we will have the pleasure of friendship and the rewards of self-fulfillment. Today I will choose actions that express my best self. ************************************************** ~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~ It’s a long trip to serenity. I better start right now. ~ Jill Clark ~ Serenity often comes easiest when the search for it has ended. “Letting go and letting God” works. What’s so appealing about serenity? After all, most of us liked living on the edge before we got sober; thrill-seeking was a favorite pastime. We don’t have to renounce excitement to desire serenity. But that’s how it feels at first. It’s possible too that we may not recognize serenity on its first visit. Some even mistake it for boredom. But the ease of our lives, after we grow accustomed to it, makes serenity as sought-after as excitement used to be. Serenity allows us to appreciate more fully every aspect of our journey. Each person we encounter, every situation that calls to us, gets far more of our attention when we are calm, quiet, and focused. Only with the gift of serenity can we be all three. Being serene is worth the effort, when we let our Higher Power do the work of living. ************************************************** ~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~ I don't have to work a perfect program I don't like the shame I feel for having a dual disorder. I want to recover as quickly as I can. At times I think I should be further along. And yet I will still forget a weekly therapy session, skip a meeting here and there, and get caught up in my old ways of coping. I've even had a slip with my addiction. It's hard for me to accept my problems, but I need to gently remind myself that I experience two illnesses that affect each other. I am new in dual recovery and there is no timetable. It will help if I can go easy on myself when I don't live up to my own (or others') standards. I know that I am making progress, especially when I can admit that I will continue to make mistakes. * When I do my Step Ten inventory tonight, I will take special note of my progress and pray to accept my weaknesses. ************************************************* ~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~ Look to your health, and if you have it, praise God, and value it next to a good conscience; for health is... a blessing that money cannot buy. ~ Izaak Walton ~ When holidays are coming, some of us rejoice, looking forward to the activity and preparation of the season. Others groan in despair, prepared for too much work and too little reward. And some of us begin to feel depressed; holidays mean sad memories and overstressed systems that will take weeks, maybe months, to return to normal. During active addiction, we muddled through as best we could. We did not control events, they controlled us. We let ourselves get overtired and stressed out. We didn’t eat right or exercise. Instead, we medicated ourselves against the possibility of closeness with family. Now we have the tools of recovery to help us take better care of ourselves. We can avoid or diminish holiday stress, planning our schedule more carefully, keeping some time for ourselves. When tasks pile up on us we can go to a meeting, call our sponsor, take a break in our hectic schedule. As we learn to have healthier holidays, we find ourselves beginning to feel the closeness to loved ones that we missed out on before. We have so much to celebrate now, and holidays are the best time to share our gratitude and serenity. Today help me use my new life to make holidays a joyful time. ************************************************** ~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~ Inside myself is a place where I live all alone, and that’s where I renew my springs that never dry up. ~ Pearl Buck ~ In this time of year in which busy schedules are the norm, and in the program of recovery where there is a vital need to communicate and be around others, you may find it hard to set aside time for quiet reflection. But there are many benefits to be gained by setting aside quiet time. Solitude is one of the healthiest ways to de-stress as well as to add balance to your life. Solitude can lead to greater self-awareness and under-standing. By truly listening to yourself, you can discover what lies deep within you. By uncovering your fears, doubts, and insecurities, you can become less reluctant to deal with those feelings so you can take action that honors your comfort zone and your capabilities. Solitude also gives you the opportunity to more fully converse with your Higher Power and to listen to the guidance you are receiving. Finally, solitude helps you appreciate the little things in life. Whether it is watching your children as they sleep, relaxing in a soothing bath, or taking a leisurely stroll with your pet, such things can help you notice and appreciate life in a different and more meaningful way. I will set aside at least twenty minutes each day for peaceful ************************************************** ~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~ No answer is also an answer. ~ Danish proverb ~ Have we ever prayed and felt God must not have heard us because our prayers weren't answered? We may have asked for strength or protection or for things to change. Yet hours, days—even weeks—later we may still be in the same situation, feeling the same way. God always hears us, but sometimes the answers aren't immediate or guaranteed. Sometimes the best answer is no answer, meaning we need to stay in an uncomfortable situation a little longer. Perhaps there is something we need to learn that can't be learned unless we find it on our own. We aren't abandoned when our prayers are answered by silence. Silence teaches us to listen closer, observe longer, and learn more in order to find our answers. Is there anything tonight that confuses me or makes me feel helpless? I can find my answers by remaining open to all the messages I'm given. ************************************************** ~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~ Counting our blessings We have passed from death into life. We know that a powerful life force flows through us and a new and beautiful serenity is ours. What we once despised, we now cherish. We cease to find the world of drugs attractive. This is a blessing and a miracle, for at one point we were among those considered to be the hopeless ones. Let’s thank our Higher Power for our spiritual understanding and for the blessings of a clean and sober life. Do I count my blessings each day? Higher Power, I give thanks from the depths of my heart and soul for the blessing of my new life. Today I will look at my blessings, one by one, and God help me to stay clean and sober today! ************************************************** ~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~ I don't want to make money. I just want to be wonderful. ~ MARILYN MONROE ~ Newcomer I talked with someone about this program recently, and she surprised me by saying, "It costs money, doesn't it?" I explained that no one is required to pay anything, that we meet our expenses by passing a basket at meetings. I realized, talking to her, that the program's relationship to money is pretty unusual in this society. If we tried, we could be making a big profit, couldn't we? Sponsor Our tradition is opposed to profit-making. As you probably know by now, each individual group supports itself, paying for such expenses as rent, hospitality, and literature from whatever people give voluntarily when a basket is passed for contributions. Once a group meets its basic expenses, it may send a contribution to intergroup headquarters, to help meet administrative expenses. The program as a whole doesn't accept donations from outside sources, and individual groups are discouraged from keeping money in the treasury "beyond prudent reserves." This tradition helps keep us independent and safe from the risk of disagreement and competition that can arise where there are accumulations of money. It helps us to stay focused on our spiritual program. Today, I take time to examine my attitudes and beliefs about money. ************************************************** ~ THE EYE OPENER ~ Moderation is not an alcoholic's strong point. Few improve much after joining A A, they simply direct their energies to other activities but with the same amount of intemperance. "Easy Does It" is a nice sounding slogan but seldom do we see any great display of it among the members. They usually jump into their jobs with increased enthusiasm or they find an out-let for their energies in AA work. It is probably for the best, however, for excessive activities are not as prone to make a man return to the bottle as too much inactivity. ************************************************** ~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~ God's Power to Guide Me I arise today Through a mighty strength: God's power to guide me, God's might to uphold me, God's wisdom to teach me, God's eyes to watch me, God's ear to hear me, God's word to give me speech, God's hand to guard me, God's way to lie before me, God's shield to shelter me, God's host to secure me: Against the snares of devils, Against the seductions of vices, Against the lusts of nature, Against everyone who shall wish me ill, Whether far or near, many or few. ~ by St. Patrick of Ireland ~ ************************************************* ~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~ THE LAW OF LIMITATION A young doctor and his wife were entertaining an elderly aunt. After-dinner coffee was served, whereupon the visitor said excitedly, "John, you know I cannot drink coffee! The nicotine in it keeps me awake all night." The nephew said, "I assure you, my dear aunt, there is no nicotine in this coffee." The aunt replied, "There is always nicotine in coffee, and it keeps me awake the whole night." The host then said, "My dear aunt, I assure you upon my word of honor as a doctor, that there is no nicotine in this coffee." The old lady, who had the highest regard both for her nephew's professional qualifications and for his personal integrity, was satisfied; and thereupon drank three large cups of coffee, enjoyed them immensely—and slept like a top all night. Naturally, there can be no nicotine in coffee; the old lady meant caffeine. Of course, one does not approve of the deception employed—deception is never legitimate—but the story illustrates perfectly the power of good and bad suggestion. The old lady first made a law of limitation for herself, and then repealed it without any trouble. Why not start today and repeal some of the many such laws you are sure to have made for yourself. If thou canst believe, all things are possible to him that believeth (Mark 9:23). ************************************************** ~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~ Don’t Even Try It Let not the cloud sit upon your brow. Look up, laugh, love, talk big, keep the colors in your cheek and the fire in your eye. ~ William Hazlett ~ While reviewing the sales records of one of my early books, Joy Is My Compass, I saw that it was selling rather sluggishly. Perhaps, I thought, it’s time to let it go out of print. A short time later, I was presenting a lecture when a woman in the audience rose and stated, “I just want to thank you for writing Joy Is My Compass. That book inspired me so much that I decided to follow my bliss and I founded an AIDS hospice. Thanks to your influence, a significant number of people with AIDS are dying with dignity in the presence of love and compassion.” I was stunned. While I had judged the value of the book based on sales, this woman was applying its principles to render a high and holy service. I recognized that even if no one else ever read the book, it would have been worth writing and publishing for that one purpose. At times, I have felt guilty for not being out on the front lines of relieving human suffering. “While people are ministering to dying paupers on the streets of Calcutta, feeding hungry children in Africa, and changing the bandages of lepers on Molokai, I’m just writing books,” I berated myself. But of late, I have come to peace with the understanding that I am in my perfect position to serve best. If I were to be a missionary, Spirit would put the inspiration in my heart to do so. Instead, words come to me that inspire others to do what they do best. Know that God is using you in the highest way by instilling you with joy to do what you love best. I will not attempt to judge against Your will of joy for me. I surrender to what I love, trusting that You are serving through me. I follow my heart and trust God to run the universe. |
November 23
Step by Step Today… patience: Loosening my grip on a character defect that can be as crippling as any other – impatience. Whether I am new to the Program or have worked it for countless 24 Hours, may I understand in expecting too much too soon that recovery requires growth – and growth is not a one-time “event” but an ever-evolving dynamic. If today I am tempted to drink or shoot up, I will pray for patience. I have the 12 steps to overcome a potential relapse and my own history to know where impatience has taken me before. And let me know that the temptation will pass, as all things do. But the temptation will not pass if I feed it. If people in my life do not live up to what I expect of them or in the time I think they should, let me use patience to ask myself if I am unfairly asking something of someone else and, if not, grant me patience to “allow” others to do it in their own time. If something looms for me three weeks in the future, let me not fret today or any other today for the next three weeks for I risk igniting other potentially crippling emotions, including anger, resentment and a blow-up like a pressure cooker left unattended. Today, let me recognize that impatience can be as deadly as any other defect that is common in AA discussion and that I need to respect life evolving on its time schedule, not mine. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M. ************************************************** ~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~ FEAR The only thing we have to fear is fear itself. ~ Franklin D. Roosevelt ~ Fear was our enemy. It prevented us from living fully. It kept us standing still. It made us close our ears and minds to new ideas and ways of living. Fear of the un-known kept us locked up in our addiction. It told us to stay where it was safe and with what we knew. It refused to let us discover a way to deal with reality. In recovery, we are learning to cope with fear. We are shown ways to take positive action to get past fear and continue our spiritual progress. Often we find that simply sharing our fears with other members of the Program relieves us of them. We have come to realize fear was the sparkplug that started our character defects in motion. I now see how fear kept me a prisoner of my addiction and character defects. I will share my fears with others in the Program, and work to get past them. Fear need not always be harmful. It can teach me which direction to go. ************************************************** ~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~ The self is not something ready-made, but something in continuous formation through choice of action. ~ John Dewey ~ We’re not the men we used to be. The little boy who went off to his first day of school so many years ago exists only as a memory. The guy who pursued his controlling behaviors and sought his pleasures and escapes is not the guy who now follows a path of healing and recovery. We build upon who we were and the experiences we had, and we continue our formation into a whole self as long as we live. That is why we continue through daily prayer and meditation to look at ourselves and make the choices that will take us further in the direction of a stronger, more self-respecting man. Some of us were frozen in our development and didn’t continue to grow in our wisdom and emotional strength. We were seduced by the allure of childish answers and easy escapes from the challenges in our lives. Our formation as adult men was sidetracked and bogged down, going nowhere. Now we have made new choices that put us back on the track that continues our growth. Today I choose to stay on course to live the life that restores me. ************************************************** ~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~ The ordinary human being thinks about twelve thousand thoughts a day. ~ Susan Smith Jones ~ The mind is seldom at rest; it drifts from one scenario to another. But this busyness accomplishes little. In many instances, it sets us up for conflicts with others. Thinking has its place in leading a responsible life. Yet making a commitment to monitor all our thoughts, and to give up willingly those that are negative toward ourselves or others, is wise. Nothing is stopping us from thinking only beneficial thoughts. What are you feeling, right now? If it’s not positive, then your thoughts may be at fault. It might be helpful to review them. Whatever I think today is within my grasp. Keeping my thoughts beneficial to myself and to others will have a positive payoff. ************************************************** ~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~ I need to accept professional help to recover I was angry, ashamed, and frustrated about having to get treatment for my psychiatric illness (and for my addiction). It meant I couldn't take care of myself. It meant my illnesses were serious. It meant loss of freedom. And yet my symptoms were getting worse (using didn't help). With the two illnesses together, it seemed managing on my own was too much. It's true, treatment was tough to face, but now I can see that it was for the best. I didn't like being there, but I do want to stay stable and sober. I will pray to accept my need for ongoing help. ************************************************* ~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~ Keep coming back. It works. If you work it. ~ Program Saying ~ The last four words of that slogan capture our attention: if you work it. Most of the time we do work the program. But then sometimes we don’t. We forget to pray. We skip an amend. We are discourteous. We begin again to think only of ourselves. We know from our own experience that we have to work our recovery program each and every day. We can’t just work it on Mondays and Fridays, or “when we really need it.” Also, we need to make the effort ourselves. No one else can do it for us. And the best ways are the active ways: reading literature, going to a meeting, a daily communing with our Higher Power, giving the program away, helping others. When we feel like we “have it together” and begin slowly drifting away, if only for a day or so, we can pray for the reminder that we need to work our program each and every day. God will give us the guidance, but we need to actively work our program. Today let me find one way to work my Program and stick with it. ************************************************** ~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~ It’s not denial. I’m just selective about the reality I accept. ~ Bill Watterson ~ It can be hard to spend time around active alcoholic family members during the holidays. Not only does their drinking bother you, but their denial about having a problem can be infuriating. So how should you handle being around the raging alcoholics in your family? Chances are they know about your recovery or, if they do not, will notice you are not drinking. You will need to ignore any comments they may make about this. Too, you must ignore denial-based comments they may make about their drinking. Confronting an active alcoholic is often not a wise choice. Not only do you run the risk of causing an argument, you also may end up being verbally attacked. The best way to handle family gatherings in which there will be alcohol and nonrecovering alcoholics is to enlist the help of others. Talk to your sponsor ahead of time, and keep your sponsor’s phone number close at hand. Arrange to attend a meeting or get together with others in the program so you have an excuse to leave early. And remember that the inappropriate behaviors you witness are reflections of a past life from which you are now free. I will ask my sponsor and others in the program /or help so I can handle holiday gatherings. ************************************************** ~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~ I can't write a book commensurate with Shakespeare, but I can write a book by me. ~ Sir Walter Raleigh ~ We may have grown up trying to emulate our favorite heroes, wishing we were as strong, as beautiful, as smart, or as self-sufficient as they were. Because our role models in the home may have been poor, we learned to look outside ourselves for people to copy. Yet we can never be anyone other than ourselves. We may desire to have what someone else has because we don't like what we have. We can change those characteristics we don't like in ourselves, or we can learn to accept them. But we can't disguise our true selves by trying to be the carbon copy of someone we admire. By striving for imitation, we are ignoring the wonderful person inside. We may not be a great artist like Renoir, a celebrated writer like Shakespeare, a brilliant singer or actor or great athlete or superb politician. We can only be ourselves. And that means we need to write our own book, not copy another's. Tonight I am proud to be who I am. I have some wonderful qualities and talents that I can develop. ************************************************** ~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~ Being consistent What we believe today is always subject to change tomorrow. We change and grow in many ways. We don’t have to adhere to yesterday’s words just because we said them in public. We may have received new data since then! We don’t have to grapple with our memories so that we won’t say something that contradicts past words. We live always in a new day. We can trust ourselves and our Higher Power if our words and messages come from “the still small voice within.” We must re-member that what was necessary for us yesterday may not be what we need today. Am I always open to growth, to change, to new views and ideas? Higher Power, help me demonstrate my consistent need to grow by helping me be flexible. Today I will question my beliefs about God help me to stay clean and sober today! ************************************************** ~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~ When people are still asleep I hear God best and learn my plan. ~ GEORGE WASHINGTON CARVER ~ Newcomer I'm beginning to have a sense of my own Higher Power. It's not that I can tell you in so many words exactly what I believe. But I do have a feeling of being part of something larger than myself and, often, a sense of comfort and safety that I didn't have before. It surprises me that I've developed the habit of prayer. Sponsor Many of us have had the experience of finding a Higher Power as a result of prayer, instead of the other way around. We don't have to resolve questions of belief in order to pray. Like you, we simply take the action of praying. People get to know one another over the course of many, many shared conversations and activities. Why shouldn't we begin to develop our relationship with a Power greater than ourselves in the same way, using prayer as a form of communication? Some of us use the beautiful prayers of the religion we grew up with or have chosen; some of us write our own prayers or speak them spontaneously, aloud or in our hearts. When we apply Step Eleven to our lives, using prayer as a form of daily "conscious contact," our relationship with a Higher Power evolves. Today, I begin to know my Higher Power better through prayer. ************************************************** ~ THE EYE OPENER ~ Isn't it strange to note the absence of a lot of our old pre-AA friends over the week-end? We have not offended them, surely, and we are just as good friends as we used to be, but somehow, they don't call on us with the same regularity. The answer is simple — the bar is closed. Now home is what it should be and the people who do call do so because they like us and not just to get a drink. ************************************************** ~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~ Live and Let Live O Lord, we are urged to live fully, richly, and happily—to fulfill our destiny with the joy that comes from doing well whatever we do. O Lord, it is more difficult to let live. This means accepting the right of every other person to live as he or she wishes, without my criticism and judgment. May 1 live life to the fullest, understanding that pure pleasure-seeking is not pleasure-finding, but that Your goodness is here to be shared. May I learn not to take over the responsibility for another adults decisions,- that is my old controlling self trying one more time to be the executive director of other people's lives. Dear God, help me to live and let live. ~ Adapted from A Day at a Time, October 1 ~ ************************************************* ~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~ INCREASING YOUR DIVIDENDS For unto every one that hath shall be given, and he shall have abundance: but from him that hath not shall be taken away even that which he hath (Matthew 25:29). This great text has been a stumbling block to many. It looks like injustice. It sounds like cruelty. Yet Jesus said it, and we know that he was always right. The explanation is logical when you have the key to life. Your experience is the expression (pressing out) of your state of mind or consciousness, at any time. When your consciousness is high, everything goes well. When your consciousness is low or limited, everything goes wrong. When trouble comes the usual thing is to meet it with fear, anger, disappointment, self-pity, or brutal will power. This naturally lowers the consciousness a good deal more, and things get still worse. From him that hath not (much) harmony, shall be taken away even that which he hath. Harmony and joy naturally raise your consciousness and your faith in God still higher, and so things improve further. Unto everyone that hath shall be given and he shall have abundance. This is a simple statement of natural law. Let us thank God that this wonderful law exists. ************************************************** ~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~ Fido Was Right Resolve to be thyself, and know that he who finds himself loses his misery. ~ Matthew Arnold ~ At the conclusion of a radio program I was on, the interviewer signed off with a priceless piece of advice: “Be the person your dog knows you to be.” Many people report that their relationship with their dog is among the most supportive and unconditionally loving in a lifetime. What is it that we receive from canines that we miss with people? Dogs love us for who we are. They do not have a lot of complicated expectations or demands. They are happy to see us, and show it. They express their affection without restraint and appreciate even a little pat on the head. They are honest, dedicated, and they live joyfully in the moment. By contrast, we believe things about ourselves that are less than loving and accepting. We judge, criticize, berate, undermine, put ourselves down, and have little patience for our errors. It is no wonder we love our dogs—they love us more than we love ourselves! I studied with a teacher who consistently saw the good in me and reminded me of my worth and beauty. For many years I came to her with fear, guilt, and unworthiness, and she answered with support, forgiveness, and blessing. Ultimately, I realized that our visions of who I was were so radically different that one of us had to be wrong. I decided I would rather have her be right. You, too, can be the person your dog knows you to be; Fido may see you more clearly than you see yourself. Help me know how lovable I am, that I may shine forgiveness into the world. I accept God’s vision of my innocence. |
November 24
Step by Step Today, little significance on how many 24 Hours of sobriety I have, whether it be a single 24 Hours or five years’ worth. All of us who practice AA have only a day-to-day reprieve from where we once were, and those with years of sobriety are no further from a slip or relapse than those whose last drink was yesterday. This is not to say there is no benefit to being sober in terms of months or years. The major benefit is that we may need that long simply to emerge from the alcoholic fog, from the physical, mental, emotional and spiritual damage that we self-inflicted. And this is no overnight journey. But once we emerge from the haze, we may be better equipped to grasp the vision of the program and put it to work. Yet even when we move from being dry to sober and embark on the journey to recovery, we are not insulated from surrendering in one foolish and potentially deadly second to temptation or craving, or to some emotion we don’t want to feel. Today, I am sincerely grateful for how many 24 Hours since my last drink. But I cannot risk the folly that it is promised tomorrow. That is why, today, we take everything one thing at a time, one day at a time, one step at a time. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M. ************************************************** ~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~ COURAGE The greatest test of courage on earth is to bear defeat without losing heart. ~ Robert Green Ingersoll ~ One word often heard in group discussions is "will." Yet, the will to do something cannot exist without the action required to do it, and that takes courage. It is courage that turns possibilities into realities and assures us that little in life is truly impossible. Experience teaches us that courage keeps our active emotions under control. When courage guides our efforts, we can be sure that we will not only be capable of accomplishing success, but we will be worthy of it. We learn that courage is not recklessness; it is common sense, when we know that a goal is worth going for, courage has judgment and carefulness as allies, even though we may be moving against the tide of popular opinion or belief. I am overcoming my fears about setting and working toward goals. It helps me to remember "courage is fear that has said its prayers." ************************************************** ~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~ What is to give light must endure burning. ~ Viktor Frankl ~ We all are born into a life that inevitably includes some amount of challenge, pain, and distress mixed with the joy and learning. Our strength and our wisdom grow by dealing with trouble. The wisest people we know— the ones we admire most—have life stories that brought them through dark days of despair and striking difficulties. Their trial by fire sharpened their clarity about what really counts in life and raised their motivation to live by their values. Life has become better for us in recovery. But no one ever becomes immune to life’s problems. We get stronger and wiser in dealing with them. We get better at maintaining our balance when everything seems to push us off balance. As we grow more skilled in dealing with life, our light shines on the path for others seeking their way. Today I accept that difficulty is part of life, and I will learn what it has to teach me. ************************************************** ~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~ Situations can look very bad one day and more manageable the next. The only thing that has changed is my perspective. ~ Sandra Lamberson ~ Attitude influences perception and outcome; it’s awesomely powerful. No problem is overwhelming when we tackle it with high spirits. Everything is difficult if our moods are low. Old-timers say AA stands for “Attitude Adjustment.” Quite possibly, the longer we stay clean and sober, the more obvious it becomes that attitude is the culprit if our struggles have continued. It’s fortuitous that the one aspect of our lives fully in our control is attitude. We can have as smooth a day, on the job, or at home, as we want. Our relationships can be fun and rewarding if our minds are playful and open. The people around us can handle their own circumstances adequately if we let them. What we discover about today and every day is what we seek to discover, nothing less, nothing more. I anticipate a wonderful day today. How it turns out is in my control. ************************************************** ~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~ I can get support when I am afraid With my emotional illness, at times I think about abandonment, further losses, losing control, and never getting well. These thoughts scare me, and the fear can be crippling. But I am grateful for a powerful phrase that often comes to my rescue: No one ever died of fear. It's miserable, debilitating, but not life threatening. The more I believe this, the more I can just say I'm afraid, the safer I'll be. The more I can tell someone I'm afraid, the less fear I'll feel, the less alone I'll feel, and the more help I'll be able to get. I will work Step Two and come up with one way I can help myself feel secure. ************************************************* ~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~ Our generation passeth away, and another generation cometh... ~ Ecclesiastes 1:2-5 ~ After we’ve been in recovery for a while, we begin to see that addiction is not confined to our family alone but is intergenerational, sprinkled throughout our family tree. It may have skipped certain generations, but it almost always reappeared. Tragically, it was often accompanied by divorce, suicide, and lifetimes of extreme stress and pain. We can break this cycle. Although we have lived in much of the same pain and suffering that preceded us, we have a program of recovery our elders did not have. Part of our legacy to our children will be the gift of change. Those who come after us will see something new on our family tree: recovery. We are grateful to have found our recovery program and equally grateful that we can pass it on. Now, at last, there is a way out. Now we have tools to deal with the pain of addiction. Perhaps one day the pain will be gone for good, worked through by generations of recovering people who passed on a legacy of healing and new life. Today help me be grateful to be recovering and to be breaking a cycle that probably began long before me ************************************************** ~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~ ...for the abundance of the sea and the treasures hid in the sand. ~ William Brewster ~ Those brave souls who journeyed to America centuries ago had to deal with hardships that few of us today could ever imagine. First they had to survive a torturous ocean crossing. Then they had to find a place in which to settle and carve out the very basics of necessity to ensure their safety and sustenance. During their first long winter at Plymouth Colony, seven times as many graves were dug for those who had died as homes were built for those who were living. A ship that was supposed to bring much-needed supplies instead delivered more people and more mouths to feed. One of the settlers, William Brewster, reminded the colonists to thank God “for the abundance of the sea and the treasures hid in the sand.” Even though the Pilgrims had little, they possessed a depth of gratitude for their escape from oppression and the opportunity to experience freedom and a new way of life. One of their customs was to put five kernels of corn on an empty plate before eating a meal. Each person would then pick up a kernel at a time and express thanks for something. Today I will think of five things for which I am thankful. I will express my gratitude for these things to my Higher Power. ************************************************** ~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~ A great obstacle to happiness is to expect too much happiness. ~ Fontenelle ~ How happy is happy? When we're laughing and joking, are we happy? Or is happiness doing an activity we really enjoy? Perhaps happiness is a feeling we get when we see a beautiful sight or a happy child. Who knows what happiness really is? Like love, happiness can't really be defined, for what is true for one person isn't for another. Happiness really comes from within. If we feel a sense of contentment, peace, or joy, then we can bet we're feeling some form of happiness. As long as we're satisfied with that happy feeling, then we'll feel happiness. It's when we expect happiness to feel differently that we'll lose our happy feelings. To be happy, we need to feel the happiness that exists, even if it isn't the way we've fantasized it to be. Have I felt happiness today? Help me reflect on the feelings of that happiness and to allow myself to feel similar feelings. ************************************************** ~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~ Looking for substitutes Therapy is no substitute for the program. Religious doctrine is no substitute for the program. Words are no substitute for the program. Intelligence is no substitute for the program. Heroic acts are no substitute for the program. “Easy does it” is no substitute for the program. Education is no substitute for the program. Sex is no substitute for the program. A warm heart is no substitute for the program. A job is no substitute for the program. Only action—only the Steps—are going to get it for us. There are no substitutes. Do I realize there’s no quick and easy route? Higher Power, may I stop playing games, may I stop using excuses, and may I do what I can in my program today. I will work the program extra hard today by God help me to stay clean and sober today! ************************************************** ~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~ Become as resourceful in inspiring yourself to enter your own peace as you are at being neurotic and competitive in the world. ~ SOGYAL RINPOCHE ~ Newcomer Meditation continues to be difficult for me to understand, to do, and to keep doing consistently. Sponsor With repeated practice, meditation can be the most intimate and rewarding way to be with ourselves. The key, as with all our practices, is to meditate each day. Just as with prayer, there isn't just one right way to meditate. We can be artists at daily meditation, finding creative ways to inspire ourselves to enter peace. A city friend whose home is one small room has created an altar on a windowsill with a bowl of water, some lemon leaves, and a candle. Something simple—one stick of incense or a tape of sacred music—may be all we need to bring us back home to our real selves, reacquaint us with the peace at the center of our being. Or we can go to nature to meditate, letting the sky, a stream, rain, wind, or sunlight enter our minds. We relax and let our minds expand and be filled with and become what we are looking at: we become the infinite space of sky, the movement of water, the energy of wind, the warmth of sunlight. When we've taken time to greet our spirits in meditation, our minds feel cleansed. Today, I meet my true self in meditation. ************************************************** ~ THE EYE OPENER ~ Every practicing alcoholic is firmly convinced that the Devil has all the good tunes. It was the music we had wanted and the tunes to which we had attuned our ears. His music was louder, more catchy and, to our thinking, was prettier. We suspected, however, that it did not have the soul-satisfying qualities that make good music. We must learn all over again to train our senses to appreciate those things which are really good and not cheap imitations. ************************************************** ~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~ Grant Me Your Light Just for today, What does it matter, O Lord, if the future is dark? To pray now for tomorrow—I am not able. Keep my heart only for today, Give me Your protection today, Grant me your light— Just for today. ~ by St. Therese of Lisieux ~ ************************************************* ~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~ LOOK WHERE YOU GO Look where you are going because you will inevitably go where you are looking. Where your attention is, there is your destiny. Attention is the key to life. Whatever you really give your attention to, you become. Whatever you really concentrate upon will come into your life. The Bible says, For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he (Proverbs 23:7). It does not say simply as a man thinketh, but as he thinketh in his heart, and this means thinking with interest or feeling. This law is often illustrated most amusingly in practical life. The "horsy" man with his equine looks, is known to us all. Kipling speaks of a Newfoundland fisherman who appeared for all the world like a great codfish himself; and Dickens speaks of a pedantic old lawyer who looked just like an animated roll of parchment. Keep your eyes open for these amusing dramatizations, and be sure to take to heart the tremendous lesson that they teach. ************************************************** ~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~ Talk to Mrs. Jones If you want to gather honey, don’t knock over the beehive. ~ Dale Carnegie ~ “Many of you speak more rudely to your mate than you would to a person on the street,” my teacher Hilda noted. “But you should extend more, not less, courtesy to someone you are building a life with. The next time you are tempted to mouth off to your partner, stop for a moment and ask yourself, How would I speak to Mrs. Jones at the bank? Then give your mate the same respect. ” Somewhere in our cultural programming, many of us picked up the idea that we have license to speak rudely to our partner, family, or those close to us. Even a little examination will show how self-defeating and destructive such a belief is. Our relationships are our primary means of emotional support; we join and bond to empower each other to be strong, powerful, and great. Our primary relationship is the place where we need to give and receive the most nourishment and respect. To insult or tear each other down in the family is to undermine the foundation upon which we are cultivating our dreams. Of course, in an intimate relationship, we must be honest, direct and, when necessary, confrontational. It is possible to communicate anything, including our upsets, without attacking our partner. Report your experience objectively with the intention to heal: “These are the things that I am feeling, and I would like your support in returning to peace.” If you harbor any other intention, the communication will fail because it belittles the other person and yourself rather than honoring both of you. Make your primary relationship a refuge where you can come to be healed and nourished. Use words that invite your partner to join with you, and not separate. When you build your partner up, she or he will do the same for you, and you will live not in a state of fear, but blessing. Show me how to make a temple of my relationships. Give me the strength to support my beloved ones with kindness, and help me to receive the same. I delight in supporting my loved ones, and they delight in supporting me. |
November 25
Step by Step Today, taught by tradition to be thankful, let me know that simply voicing gratitude is not sufficient and the measure and extent of gratitude is reflected in my actions. Today, then, let me not be content with merely saying I am grateful and show me how to express it in action and behavior, that is, to walk the walk while I talk the talk. If today someone for whom I say I am grateful is in need of my time or if I am called upon to make some sacrifice such as missing part of a football game or giving up the holiday dinner dessert, let me be willing to do so without reservation. We are compelled in the 12th step to put our program into action with service to others even if it might inconvenience us. If today I am called upon to do something that slows or impedes my schedule and I refuse the call, I will fail as an effective 12th-stepper and, later, I will probably regret not answering the call. Today, if I am asked to be thankful, let me go a step further and express my gratitude in action. And, today, that I am clean and sober is literally everything. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M. ************************************************** ~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~ COMPLACENCY To be nobody but myself-in a world which is doing its best to make us like everyone else — means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight and never stop fighting. ~ e.e. Cummings ~ Within our Fellowship there are many successes that make the member and their loved ones proud. One of the biggest hazards we face is overconfidence, the idea that "I've got it made." This is complacency, an enemy of recovery. When we're complacent about what we've accomplished, we quit working at progressing. We have to remember that we will never finish our recovery journey. We will always need to keep taking the Steps. It can be dangerous to let up on the disciplines of the Program because things are going well. We need to stay alert and remember that more relapses occur when things are going well than when they're not. It would be easy to begin feeling like a big shot if I believed all I had to do was achieve one goal, then quit working. I won't give up my fight at staying in recovery. ************************************************** ~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~ Gratitude is heaven itself. ~ William Blake ~ The feeling of gratefulness sometimes sweeps over us and fills us with a warm glow. We know what it feels like to be lost and frightened, with no compass to point our way out. The great contrast between where we once were and where we are today inspires us to feel thankful. Now we have our lives back. We feel like real men again. We have the companionship of fine people. We have hope for the future. This feeling of gratitude is an antidote to our struggles with desire. Our desires have taken us places that harmed us. We wanted more control, we wanted more pleasure, we wanted our feelings to stop, and we wanted more than was good for us. We have enough right now. This fullness of gratitude is a wonderful relief from our driving desires. Today my desires are set aside by my gratitude and the knowledge that I have enough. ************************************************** ~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~ My life is blessed. I have riches beyond belief. Why is it then that I sometimes feel lonely and unlovable? ~ Joan Rohde ~ It’s not easy to believe that we feel however we make up our minds to feel. But it’s true. If we are lonely, it’s because we aren’t letting other people in. If we feel unlovable, it’s because we aren’t letting God’s love in. How we think determines how we feel. Fortunately, we have the power to change how we think if we really want to. How do we do that? First we need to quiet our minds and stop the barrage of self-criticism. Then we need to ponder the blessings in our lives, listing them, methodically if necessary, to acknowledge them and thus be moved by them. It’s easy to forget that we are special. We may have to take time each day to remind ourselves of this. Even after years of recovery, we may forget for a spell that we are loved and necessary and blessed in many ways. I won’t shame myself today for thinking negatively. Instead, I will stop, get quiet, and think of my good fortune. ************************************************** ~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~ I say a prayer of thanks If I prayed at all in the past, it was only to make requests, not to give thanks. Thanks for what? My life was troubled and turbulent. I did not know where I'd been or where I was going. All I could see was brief relief in getting high (and the twinges of guilt and physical pain that frequently followed). These days I am abstinent and stable. For the most part, I accept my illnesses and their symptoms. I've come a long way in recovery I still have plenty of problems in my life, but I am happier and healthier than ever before. Sometimes it feels like a miracle. I am deeply grateful to my higher power. I will stop twice in my day to say a prayer of thanks. ************************************************* ~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~ One ought, every day at least, to hear a little song, read a good poem, see a fine picture.... ~ Johann Wolfgang Goethe ~ Recovery is a serious process, but it doesn’t have to be grim or totally lacking in humor. Nobody ever said we can’t have fun and enjoy life along the way. In fact, newcomers often comment on their sur-prise at hearing so much hearty laughter at Twelve Step meetings. But fun isn’t always waiting for us. Often we have to find it or make it for ourselves. But that’s an easy job now. Every day has quirky little moments we can enjoy and appreciate, funny incidents that can change our day from gray to sunny. When we’re feeling a little down we can lift our mood by calling a friend who’s always good for a laugh. We may be lucky enough to know someone in the program who shares our pain in a funny way. Then, refreshed, we can attend to the serious and important business of recovery. Humor has a way of giving us perspective. We see we’re not alone, and laughter lets out tension and in its place we let in energy to face what the day has in store for us. Today help me recognize the joy that is all around me. Help me find thejiin in my day. ************************************************** ~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~ Wisdom is not a product of schooling but of the lifelong attempt to acquire it. ~ Albert Einstein ~ There will be times in your recovery when you need to protect yourself from the demands or bad influences of others. To do this, you need to develop the wisdom in knowing when and how to set boundaries. You first need to become aware of what you will and will not accept from others. Pay close attention to those who make you feel uncomfortable in any way. Also, become more aware of those who make demands upon your time and energy, or who seem to be taking advantage of your giving nature. You will need to set boundaries and learn how to say no to their requests. If you choose to communicate with these people, keep your voice calm. If you feel having a conversation might escalate the situation, try to distance yourself from this person. If this is someone in your fellowship, attend different meetings for a while. If this is someone with whom you regularly interact, practice meditation techniques so you can be as calm as possible whenever you are together. And if this is someone with whom you share property or the care of children, enlist the help of a mediator or lawyer. I will set boundaries with others so I can maintain focus and commitment to my recovery. ************************************************** ~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~ You might as well live. ~ Dorothy Parker ~ Many times we may have thought of quitting this life. We may have experienced close friends or a relative who chose such an end. But suicide isn't a resolution, it's a stop in midsentence. Running away from any pain, whether it be by suicide, drinking or using, or denial, may make distance—but not decisions. Every life has its hard times, its pitfalls. To feel pain or go through hard times doesn't mean we've got to be hermits. It means we need to seek comfort, compassion, understanding. When one person in the program is in pain, there are hundreds of others ready to guide that person to peace and serenity. We can let ourselves be guided by those around us. Tonight, I can remember I am not the only person who has ever felt pain. ************************************************** ~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~ Feeling alive Not one of us has tasted the success of our sobriety and cleanness until we have awakened to a glorious day. It is made up of boundless energy, limitless joy, and knowing that whatever our Higher Power wills for us is good. It tastes of spring to meet the day with the thrill of being alive. On these days we can feel a true spiritual joy that comes from feeling like a corpuscle in the body of our Higher Power. Do I savor life? Thank you, Higher Power, for this day. Whatever your will is for me, I know it is good. I will enjoy being alive today by God help me to stay clean and sober today! ************************************************** ~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~ Our emotions are neither primitive nor "natural," but rather intelligent constructions. ~ ROBERT C. SOLOMON ~ Newcomer I went out for coffee after a meeting with a group I didn't know. Two people, one on either side of me, talked with each other without including me. They chatted about things they'd done together and then made plans for getting together. I felt excluded. I guess I still don't know how to become part of a group. Am I being too sensitive? Sponsor Too sensitive? You are sensitive, and that's a gift. You notice what's going on around you. You notice what you're feeling. Not every get-together makes us feel more a part of things, especially when people pair off for conversations. Many of us in recovery are still learning how to act in social situations, and we're not always open and thoughtful. If we're having trouble reaching out to others, we need to give ourselves plenty of time. Social and relationship skills aren't learned overnight. And sometimes, no matter how friendly and open we ourselves are willing to be, those we're sitting with just don't seem to want to respond. It happens, both in and out of the program. Our object can be to have as good a time as possible and to decide whether or not we want to try spending social time with these people again. Today, I'm willing to treat new social experiences as a way to practice skills of relating to others. ************************************************** ~ THE EYE OPENER ~ Probably the first permanent benefit we received in AA was received when we undertook a personal inventory of ourselves. Then for the first time our faults were dragged out into the open where we could meet them face to face and endeavor to do something about them. Had we not recognized these defects we would never have taken steps to eradicate them. It is dead certain that if we still had them in the same degree, we would not now be sober. It was a definite step toward getting wise to ourselves. ************************************************** ~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~ To Go Outdoors Each Day Grant me, O Lord, the ability to be alone. May it be my custom to go outdoors each day Among the trees and grasses, Among all growing things. And there may I be alone, And enter into prayer To talk with You, The One I belong to. ~ by Rabbi Nachman ~ ************************************************* ~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~ LEAN BACK ON LIFE Mental relaxation is just as important as right mental activity. Wise relaxation and wise activity are the balanced poles of all true action. Many people are constantly subjecting their minds to totally unnecessary wear and tear. We speak colloquially of "taking the train" somewhere and actually many people who ride in trains do take the train mentally the whole journey. Many years ago I noticed that when a train arrives in the terminal after a long run, the locomotive men always seem to come off the train looking fresher than most of the passengers; although they have been working and the passengers have not. The explanation is that for the engineer and fireman it was only a routine day's work. They did not "take the train" mentally—they let the engine take it. The eternal God is thy refuge, and underneath are the everlasting arms. . . (Deuteronomy 33:27). ************************************************** ~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~ Thanksliving Praise the bridge that carried you over. ~ George Colman, the Younger ~ As I look back over my life, I recognize that everything that has ever happened to me has contributed to the person I am now. While I have gone through different professions, living situations, travels, and relationships, I see that each of them bestowed me with a gift. Even the painful or difficult times taught me lessons that make me a better person now. All of it has been a blessing. It is important that we hold our past in a sense of reverence, along with the people we have known. If we resent our former spouse, employer, or friends, we are tied to the pain and unable to move forward. The hardship of the past will stay with us until we find a way to make it a gift; then it will empower us to move ahead. Make a list of significant past events and relationships, and next to each entry note the gifts you received from that person or experience. If you are willing to find the good, you will. Assume that everyone who shows up in your life is here to bless you in some way. The other person may not know their role in your awakening, and they may serve you in ways quite unrelated to the reason you thought you interacted with them. Spirit’s intentions go far beyond human planning. Then write a note or letter of gratitude to each person on your list. Thank them for the gifts they brought to your life, and specifically describe how you have grown and improved your life as a result of your interaction with them. Be sure to include those who challenged you. While this writing is for your own illumination, you may send letters to the people when appropriate. By the time you finish your writing, you will be bursting with so much peace and joy that you will wonder how you could have ever thought anyone was your enemy. Gratitude is the key to happiness; apply it to your past, and you will find friends you never knew you had. Show me the gifts I have overlooked, and fill my heart with gratitude for all my blessings. Everyone and everything in my life is a gift from God. |
November 26
Step by Step “Helping others is the foundation stone of your recovery. A kindly act once in a while isn’t enough. You have to act the Good Samaritan every day, if need be. It may mean the loss of many nights’ sleep, great interference with your pleasures, interruptions to your business. It may mean sharing your money and your home, counseling frantic (spouses) and relatives, innumerable trips to police courts, sanitariums, hospitals, jails and asylums. Your telephone may jangle at any time of the day or night. …A drunk may smash the furniture in your home, or burn a mattress. You may have to fight with him if he is violent. Sometimes you will have to call a doctor and administer sedatives under his direction.” – Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, Ch 7 (“Working With Others”), p 97. Today, just as I was responsible for the consequences of my drinking, so I am also responsible to sobriety and recovery. Both are a gift, and they require nurturing and work to grow. “(T)he foundation stone of …recovery” is helping others, that is, carrying the AA message to others who need and want it. But in our work, we must understand that we are also required to stress individual obligation to sobriety, that it is neither a right nor given without responsibility. The work of the truly effective and committed 12th-stepper is seldom limited to just talking to someone who cries for help. But the work to carry the message and in the process holding onto it is nowhere near the work needed to get and stay drunk. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M. ************************************************** ~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~ I’M SORRY The prayer of amends must be a way of life, not just a sad cry at the end of failure. ~ Anonymous ~ Most of us are truly sorry for the wreck-age we caused by our behavior. Our disease has touched many people and the scars sometimes run deep. It would be great if everyone we harmed would accept our apology, but this probably won't happen. It doesn't matter. We still need to tell them we feel bad about their pain. It's true that we offer amends in the hope of healing relationships. But it is even truer that our recovery depends on our willingness to offer amends. Some things can't be set right with an "I'm sorry." We have to show by actions as well as words that we honestly want to make amends where possible. As long as I pursue my recovery one day at a time, I will have time enough to demonstrate in action that I am sorry for the pain I caused. ************************************************** ~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~ Experience is what you get when you don’t get what you want. ~ Dan Stanford ~ We want what we want and we often feel entitled to it, but it’s only when reality gives us something else that we get pushed into further growth. We may have a road map to our destination, but if we have car trouble on the way, we will have some unexpected experiences. Our first response to a change in plans is usually frustration or disappointment. We never would have chosen to face the situation. But facing it changes us and we become a different person. Often the change is small, but some events change us in big ways forever. That is why we are only partly in control of the course our life will take. After we have changed, we become loyal to the new person we are becoming. We appreciate what we learned. When we choose responses that match our integrity, we come out stronger, wiser, and more experienced. Today I will be open to the experiences that I didn’t plan. ************************************************** ~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~ How can I forgive others for their mistakes when I cannot forgive myself? ~ Karen Davis ~ Forgiveness is elusive. We aren’t sure how it’s done, so we close our minds to it. Resentments, on the other hand, are easy to understand. They are seductive but deadly. Why do we hang on to them? What is our payoff? Ironically, resenting someone else’s behavior or their successes diminishes us. Although we get a momentary sense of superiority when we judge them, we get no long-term benefits. Much, in fact, is lost. Forgiving others, particularly those who have harmed us, seems unfair. Why should we? Those wiser than us say “Do it.” Until we have tried forgiveness we can’t really know the blessing we’ll receive. When we forgive others, we accelerate our growth. We see opportunities that resentment blocked. Forgiveness gives us power to open doors and step into new, inspiring circumstances. Deliberately forgiving myself for not being perfect will comfort me. It will allow me to go easier on others too. We’re all doing as well as we can, right now. And that’s good enough. ************************************************** ~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~ I am trying to accept others' lack of acceptance With a broken leg, there is a cast. With an appendicitis, there's a bandage and a scar. With my dual disorder, there is no visible wound. So people often don't understand my pain and symptoms—for example, anxiety, depression, weight changes, or fatigue. They may not consider them real or legitimate. Right now I am learning a critical lesson: I cannot change the way other people think or act. Fortunately, I can still get what I deeply need—certainly not from everybody, and not from just anybody—but from my support group: (a) understanding and acceptance of who I am; (b) validation of my problems; and (c) support for my recovery. Today I will pray to accept myself and pray to accept the people who don't accept me. ************************************************* ~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~ A wise man will make more opportunity than he finds. ~ Francis Bacon ~ Sometimes we are “too tired” when it’s time to go to a meeting. We are undecided: should we go to our group or should we take a week off because we “need a break”? Sometimes we do need time off to get some sleep or catch up on chores. But more often we find an unexpected benefit when we fight temptation and go to the meeting. We often realize our reluctance was really a symptom of a spiritual problem. We were isolating, as we did in active addiction. Old behaviors are always comforting. Often, on the nights we force ourselves to go we hear something we needed to hear or see someone we needed to see in order to move on to a new level of recovery. We may learn something new or hear some familiar program principle expressed in a new way. We usually leave these meetings invigorated and refreshed and grateful we came. When we keep our eyes open in recovery and remain willing to go to meetings even when we don’t want to, we will always discover what we need at just the right time. Today help me remember how much my program brings to my life. ************************************************** ~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~ Desire, ask, believe, receive. ~ Stella Terrill Mam ~ Belief in something greater than yourself can make you feel more at peace. But how can you have this belief if you do not believe in God? Many in recovery start out without faith. They may doubt the existence of a spiritual presence after years of misery and failed relationships. Too, they may feel they are not worthy of God’s attention or consider that God must have abandoned them and their bad ways long ago. No matter your religious beliefs, the program is not a religion. Utilizing prayer and developing a conscious contact with something greater than yourself are components that help your spiritual development. If you are uncomfortable considering a Higher Power, instead consider developing faith. This faith is based upon hope for a better way of life, hope for staying clean and sober, hope for learning how to accept and feel love. Faith that is founded on hope can help you overcome fears and doubts, provide you with the strength and will to make the necessary changes to improve your life, and enable you to develop greater awareness of who you are. The more hopeful you can become, the more faith-filled you can be. Hopelessness will not help you to recover, but hopefulness can. I have faith in my potential for something more and something better in my life. ************************************************** ~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~ Never answer an angry word in kind. It's the second word that makes the quarrel. ~ Anonymous ~ In the past we've probably found it's easy to have an argument. In fact, that may have been how we spent the majority of our time with our spouse, family members, or friends. Arguments may have become so familiar that to have them was to be doing "the right thing." Today we've learned to detach from angry words. We know now the other person is probably in so much pain that the only way they feel they can alleviate the pain is to hurt another. Detachment is the only cure for an argument. Once we stop detaching, we are sucked into the tangled web of confusion, pain, and bitterness. We can strengthen our ability to detach by relying on the support of our friends in the program and our Higher Power. Do I need help detaching? Help me find my strength from those who can help me, not hurt me. ************************************************** ~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~ Sharing opinions At first, really hearing fellow addicts is an exciting experience. We may charge off explaining our insights at meetings and social gatherings. We truly need to share in this manner, but it should not affect us too much when other people don’t accept our pearls of wisdom. What may be a gem for us could be a mere pebble for another. So when others shoot us down for some-thing we’ve said, we needn’t take it too personally. What is right for one may not be right for another; however, we all have the right to express our opinions. Do I share my views freely with others? Higher Power, may my sharing not be imposing, and may I not take opinions as personal insults or rejections. Today I will share my deepest insights with God help me to stay clean and sober today! ************************************************** ~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~ Let every man be respected as an individual and no man idolized. ~ ALBERT EINSTEIN ~ Newcomer At one meeting I go to, the same two people seem to dominate. Both take service positions every term. Both, when they share, say things that are subtly critical of other people's recovery and all the "new" ways of doing things in this program. Sponsor It's a program tradition that we don't have "bosses," but now and then a group gets lazy and allows itself to be led a bit heavy-handedly. Tolerance is the solution for both old- timers and relative newcomers. Rather than criticize the critics, other group members can become willing to take a more active role by attending business meetings, volunteering for service positions, or nominating new officers. When a group is facing proposed changes, a "group conscience" meeting is held; we trust that a Power greater than ourselves expresses itself through the decisions we arrive at together. Personal styles and common cultural experiences of new generations of people in recovery may be a bit different from those of people who've been here for a while, but the basic principles of this program haven't changed. Sharing our own experience and listening to others with humility is still the way we recover. Today, I practice tolerance. ************************************************** ~ THE EYE OPENER ~ In our drinking days, fear of every-thing and everybody was our constant companion. These fears continued until we finally, in desperate necessity, found the courage to surrender — to quit unconditionally. Then we found AA and a ray of Hope. Hope became desire, desire became determination. With necessity as our charger and with determination as our lance we were adequately armed to overcome our despair. ************************************************** ~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~ Praised Be you, My Lord Praised be You, my Lord, through our Sister Mother Earth, who sustains us, governs us, and Who produces varied fruits with colored flowers. Praised be You, my Lord, through Brother Wind And through the air, cloudy and serene, and Every kind of weather. Praised be You, my Lord, through Sister Moon and The stars in heaven; You formed them clear and Precious and beautiful. Praised be You, my Lord, through Brother Fire, Through whom You light the night. Praised be You, my Lord, with all Your creatures, Especially Sir Brother Sun, who is the day and Through whom You give us light. And He is Beautiful and radiant with great splendors and bears Likeness to You, Most High One. ~ by St. Francis of Assisi ~ ************************************************* ~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~ HOW MUCH CONVICTION? What do you really believe? It is as a man thinketh in his heart that matters, says the Bible, and this means the heartfelt conviction as distinct from mere formal assent. If you want to know what you really believe, simply watch what you do. We always do what we believe, although we frequently talk differently. If you feel that you are not making the most of your life, change your beliefs. Your present beliefs must be wrong if they are not producing harmony and satisfaction. Start believing in health; start believing in prosperity; start believing in the Christ in those about you; start believing that your own divine Selfhood is rapidly unfolding. Act as though you believed these things and the results will surprise you. For there stood by me this night the angel of God, whose I am, and whom I serve, Saying, Fear not, Paul. . . . Wherefore, sirs, be of good cheer: for I believe God, that it shall be even as was told me (Acts 27:23-25). ************************************************** ~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~ I Am Good Fortune I do not seek good fortune. I am good fortune. ~ Walt Whitman ~ On an episode of Northern Exposure, the character Shelly received a chain letter telling her that if she mailed the letter on to a friend within three days, she would enjoy unprecedented good luck. Believing the prophecy, she copied the letter and mailed it at the local post office. To Shelly’s delight, all manner of good things befell her, and many blessings she desired came true; she felt deeply grateful that the good for–tune of the chain letter came her way. A week later when Shelly returned to the post office, the clerk held up her letter and informed her that he did not mail it because she needed more postage. Shelly’s jaw dropped when she realized that the letter was not the source of her good luck. She admitted, “I guess we are in charge of our own lives.” There is no force outside of you that can determine what happens to you. But there is a very potent force inside you that sets the stage for every event you experience. Enlightenment is an inside job. Luck is not a capricious gift that whimsically falls into our lap; it is a force we activate with our thoughts, feelings, attitude, words, and actions. If you are waiting for your ship to come in, get into the captain’s seat and pilot it yourself. If you are waiting for a particular person to come along and make your life wonderful, that person is you. The more you love your–self, the greater your power to draw quality companions. At this very moment, you have everything you need to set into motion a chain of events that will change your life forever. I claim my power to generate my good. Thank you, God, for allowing me to co-create miracles with you. I call all of my good to me now. It is done unto me as I believe. |
November 27
Step by Step “There may be some wrongs we can never fully right. We don’t worry about them if we can honestly say to ourselves that we would right them if we could. Some people cannot be seen – we send them an honest letter. And there may be a valid reason for postponement in some cases. But we don’t delay if it can be avoided. We should be sensible, tactful, considerate and humble without being servile or scraping.” – Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, Ch 6 (“Into Action”), p 83. Today, I can’t take on guilt – or be guilted – if I am in absolute honesty cannot make an amend to someone I have hurt if that amend inflicts further injure them or someone else. This is a vital qualifier of the Ninth Step – that we make amends directly “except when to do so would injure them or others.” But this isn’t a out from making amends or accepting responsibility. It is possible to postpone making an amend if an immediate one inflicts hurt. It is just as possible that I can never make amends to someone if that person cannot be found or is no longer available. In any case, if for no one other than myself, I can make “indirect” amends by admitting my wrong in writing, in a private journal even if no one else will read it. In doing that, I am at least giving voice to a silent wrong. The benefit could be that the guilt or fear of being “caught” is powerless because I have admitted my wrong and responsibility. If today I take the Ninth Step, I must temper my “confession” with the qualification that an act of atonement now could do what the Ninth warns against – inflicting further hurt. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M. ************************************************** ~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~ REBELS Some people never grow up — they just grow old. ~ Anonymous ~ As a group, most of us were rebellious and defiant. We lived for excitement, kicks, and highs. We liked living "on the edge." We were outlaws from society. The fast lane wasn't fast enough. We weren't satisfied with getting high or too high; we wanted to be way too nigh. "Live fast, die young," was our motto. For many of us, "acting out" got us in trouble with authority. We didn't like authority figures, or anyone who tried to influence our behavior. In recovery, we have learned that our rebellious attitude and behavior was just a sign of immaturity. We became aware that our defiance and grandiosity had no place in recovery. Now we cooperate with life. We aren't banging our heads against walls anymore. I have come to see my rebellion as having no place in my recovery. I don't want to be an outlaw anymore. ************************************************** ~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~ If called by a panther Don’t anther. ~ Ogden Nash ~ We were brought to this program after following our desires and our passions to self-destructive extremes. Sometimes we still hear the call from that dark side, seducing us back to the ecstatic highs. Relapse is always a danger. We never get over being addicts and codependents. No man eradicates his dark side. It’s not a bridge we can burn behind us. How do we prevent the ever-possible relapse? First, we accept that we cannot fight tomorrow’s battles today, so we don’t worry about how we will stay clean and sober in the future. That eliminates our worry about tomorrow’s sobriety. Second, we keep our connection open with other people. We stay in touch with them. We keep talking and don’t allow ourselves to fall back into old patterns of isolation. When we hear that seductive call, we talk to others about it. And third, we take our mistakes and turn them into something productive by learning from them. Today, once again, I admit that I am a codependent and/or an addict and that my recovery is a daily process of healing. ************************************************** ~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~ All of us grieve differently. ~ Joan Gilbertson ~ We have grieved over many situations. Most of us grieved over the loss of our drug of choice. Even though we were headed down a dead-end road, we still considered chemicals our companion. Our choice to live meant saying good-bye to our companion and feeling lonely for a time. We may also have to let go of friends who don’t support our sobriety. We may have to leave jobs or significant relationships that hinder our growth. With every loss our emotional balance will be disrupted. The void left by the loss haunts us for a time; we respond with tears, anger, sadness, confusion, and even rage. Grief may wear a different robe with each appearance. Fortunately, we have one another to help us slip into and out of these robes of despair. As we learn from one another’s grief, we grow in our capacity to handle our own. More important, we grow in our desire to offer compassion to each hurting heart. If I need to grieve today, I can do so freely and fully and trust that God is close by, as are my friends in this program. I am not alone. ************************************************** ~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~ I need to express my emotions I don't like the way I'm feeling these days. I don't like having to cope with my addiction and strong emotions. Right now I don't like myself. I don't like the way my life is going. I'm discouraged, frustrated, and angry. When I called my sponsor he understood. He said that at one time, he had felt the same way. Then he offered me a suggestion, one he still uses today: with strong and painful emotions, look for a way to safely express them—whether with words or images or actions. I thanked him and agreed to give it a try. Today I will practice expressing my feelings in two ways: once by myself with words, images, or actions and once with a friend. ************************************************* ~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~ I learn by going where I have to go. ~ Theodore Roethke ~ We used to live anywhere but in the present. Our heads were full of grandiose visions of ourselves, worries about the future, or guilt about the past. We had no direction except toward the drug of our choice. Life is simpler now. We have a future, one which we have an active hand in creating. When we begin to worry what will become of us, we know we can let go of concerns about tomorrow, do what we can today, and let God take care of the rest. By taking whatever small steps we can today, by living in the moment as best we can, we are learning how to live as we go. What better way to travel than one day at a time, choosing a full, attentive, honest life? Thanks to our program of recovery and the presence of our Higher Power, this is our journey. Our destination is this very moment. There is no other. With the help of our Higher Power, our friends in the program, and the tools of the Twelve Steps, we learn by living. As we do, our lives take us to wonderful places we could hardly have imagined not long ago. Today let me take each step with my Higher Power. ************************************************** ~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~ He who is greedy is always in want. ~ Horace ~ In your former days of using, you would do whatever you could to use and would take whatever you could to satisfy your cravings and desires. Your focus was solely on you and your needs. Being able to admit now that you have been selfish and greedy in the past signifies a great achievement. But just because you have stopped using does not mean all of your selfish desires have been stilled. It is not uncommon for those in recovery to think that what they are going through should be the most important thing in everyone else’s lives. You may still find yourself focusing solely on your own needs in ways that minimize or neglect the needs of others. There are people in the world who are selfish, and there are those who are selfless. There are those who are greedy, and those who are givers. Between these two extremes is a midpoint that presents a compromise between the polar opposites. This is what you need to strive for in your recovery. When you can give to others as well as to yourself, you are able to experience the best of both worlds. I will find time to give to others, time to give to myself, and time to celebrate my ability to balance giving and receiving. ************************************************** ~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~ Failure is an event, not a person. ~ William D. Brown ~ We may find it easy to blame disappointing circumstances in our lives on the people in our lives. We might think we wouldn't be so angry with ourselves if we could change bosses or co-workers or partners. We might believe our inability to stay in relationships is caused by the family that brought us up or the circumstances now in our lives. If we're angry at one boss, chances are we'll be angry at another no matter what company or job we have. The co-workers at a new company can't guarantee our happiness or peace of mind any more than a new relationship will bring us the love we've always searched for. Once we realize our dissatisfactions come from events, rather than people, we'll be less likely to place blame on people or make them the targets of all our failings. ************************************************** ~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~ Knowing our Author It’s important to know the Author of our hopes and desires. If we don’t understand the force that guides us, and why we follow, anything can lead us anywhere. The Steps are helpful tools in getting to know our Author. They are a personal path to our Higher Power and give us more direction than we have ever experienced before. Our lives are written in the now, the present. The past cannot be erased, so forget about it. The future cannot be determined before the present, so stop daydreaming. Live in the now, the present—live when your story happens so you experience it and learn and grow from it. Only today’s activities are recorded today. Who is the Author of my life? May today be written by the Supreme Author. I will try to make today’s page beautiful by God help me to stay clean and sober today! ************************************************** ~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~ It is well to lie fallow for a while. ~ M. F. TUPPER ~ Newcomer The person who makes coffee for my home group left me a message at the last minute asking me to sub for him or suggest someone else. I said no—I hadn't planned to attend the meeting. I couldn't find my list of phone numbers, either, so I didn't suggest anyone. I'm feeling guilty. He doesn't know as many members of the group as I do; he has less time in the program than I have. Sponsor What's the worst thing that can possibly happen as a result of your not taking on this person's responsibility? Perhaps there'll be no coffee at the meeting this time, but I doubt that anyone will lose his or her recovery over it. More likely, someone will walk in, see that the coffeepot isn't on, and get it started. When I can't keep a commitment, I do my best to make phone calls, but I'm not guaranteed that someone else will take it on for me. I start making calls well in advance, if at all possible. I do the best I can to find a substitute. But if no one else is available to help, I let go. I'm not indispensable. I've never known a meeting not to take place because of my absence. The person who asked you to fill in for him may also need to learn more about keeping commitments; that's one of the reasons for taking on responsibilities in the early months of recovery. If you're there to rescue him whenever he can't make it, he may miss out on learning about reality. Saying no and being said no to is part of life. Today, I am responsible, not over responsible. ************************************************** ~ THE EYE OPENER ~ Sorrow and happiness are mental states, but the effect they have upon our nervous system and our blood pressure is a recognized fact. The "Atmosphere" of a hospital and its staff can lengthen or shorten the duration of an illness. We alcoholics spent years driving nails into our coffins; let us spend today drawing those nails out. ************************************************** ~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~ I Will Attend a Meeting Creator, I will attend a meeting today. I promise to seek out the similarities and not the differences. I will find something good in everything that is shared. I will praise the clean and sober and pray for the using addict. At the end of the day I will thank You for my recovery. It does not matter if the meeting was good or bad. The most important thing is that I was there. ************************************************* ~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~ HAVE YOU A DINOSAUR'S EGG? In a certain museum in New York there are a couple of dinosaur's eggs on view. This exhibit appeals to the imagination. Visitors say, "Those eggs were laid millions of years ago, and here they are today untouched!" These people are apt to overlook the fact that for the dinosaur in question they represent complete failure. After all the trouble of laying those eggs nothing ever came of them. It is surprising how many otherwise intelligent men and women waste the best days of their lives laying dinosaur's eggs that never hatch out. Either through lack of energy, or lack of intelligent planning, or failure to make God a partner, or more often sheer muddle-headedness, they lay an excellent egg and then stroll away and forget it. Do not start a plan unless you really think it is worthwhile, and if you are convinced that it is worthwhile, do not rest until you have brought it to fruition. And Jesus said unto him, No man, having put his hand to the plough, and looking back, is fit for the kingdom of God (Luke 9:62). ************************************************** ~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~ Percentages You can’t expect to get the jackpot if you don’t put a few nickels in the machine. ~ Flip Wilson ~ “Would Mould you like to sleep with me?” the man in the elevator asked Nancy. “Excuse me?” “Would you like to go to bed with me tonight?” “What makes you think I would want to go to bed with you? I don’t even know you!” “I just thought I’d ask; one out of ten women says yes.” Regardless of the apparent gap in this fellow’s integrity, he is onto an important principle: If you keep asking, sooner or later someone is bound to say yes. While this man is apt to hurt himself and others with his use of percentages, you and I can take the same principle and make it work toward the valuable goals that our hearts desire. If you have a strong and sincere intuition or guidance to accomplish a certain task, somewhere in the universe there is someone who is seeking to help you fulfill it. Many people would come to Hilda’s prayer class with intentions of finding homes, jobs, and mates. Hilda would always remind them, “Your need is connected to someone else’s; at this very moment someone wants to offer the very thing you seek. Know that the divine connection system is always operating.” As a humorous application of this principle, one night Hilda asked everyone who wanted to lose weight to stand up. Then she asked everyone who wanted to gain weight to rise. Then she prayed, “May all the weight these people want to release go to those people who need it.” Growth, change, and achievement take nerve and action. Your vision can and will be accomplished if you keep asking. I pray for the perseverance to accomplish my goals. I trust in Your power to provide matching resources to serve my visions as well as others. My dreams are good, and the universe supports me in attaining them. |
November 28
Step by Step ” …(W)e launched out on a course of vigorous action, the first step of which is a personal housecleaning, which many of us had never attempted. Though our decision was a vital and crucial step, it could have little permanent effect unless at once followed by a strenuous effort to face, and to be rid of, the things in ourselves which had been blocking us. Our liquor was but a symptom. So we had to get down to causes and conditions. “Therefore, we started upon a personal inventory. This was Step Four.” – Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, Ch 5 (“How It Works”), pp 64-5. Today, the “vigorous action” of the Fourth Step cannot and should not be done in one sitting. In our impatience and zeal to get get sober, we risk skirting the depth of some steps, and the Fourth is vulnerable. Without depth and absolute honesty, and neglecting to come to terms with some issues identified in our Fourth, the benefit and effectiveness of subsequent steps may be less than what they could and should be. I am required to submit to Step Four and honestly assess both my character defects and attributes. But I should not expect that I can honestly compile a thorough list in one attempt, particularly when identifying the “causes and conditions” of which alcohol was “but a symptom.” After all, those defects will likely still be there tomorrow if I need a break today from the “vigorous action” that the Fourth requires. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M. ************************************************** ~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~ SAYING “NO” The art of being wise is the art of knowing what to overlook. ~ William James ~ One of our common goals in recovery is balance, a feeling of being centered. If we lean too far in one direction, we lose our balance and fall over. We can't please everyone. We can't be everything to everybody. There is a balance the Program teaches us between selfishness and selflessness. We need to be careful to organize our time and set priorities. We can't sponsor everyone, be at every meeting, or volunteer for every service opportunity. Recovery is not a race to see who can do the most. Easy Does It. We need to learn and practice what are called "refusal skills." We need to learn when to say no. We have the right to refuse requests, to slow down and take time out, to take care of ourselves. I let myself get too stressed out when I'm not careful in scheduling my time. ************************************************** ~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~ Like all young men, I set out to be a genius, but mercifully laughter intervened. ~ Laurence Durrell ~ Self-centeredness is a remnant from our immature past. In that remnant is our inclination to take ourselves too seriously. When we can laugh at our mistakes rather than be ashamed of them, we have come a long way. When we can shed the burden of “specialness,” our load is remarkably lighter. When we can let another person’s sarcasm reflect back on him rather than allow it into our core, our relationships are simpler and easier. When we can simply participate rather than needing to be the top dog, we have a lot more fun. When we can accept compliments with gratitude and be a humble winner, we like ourselves better. In our manhood we strive to achieve, not so that we are better than everyone else, but so that we can fulfill our potential. We want to be the best person we can be, not the best person in our group. We aren’t driven to overcome our shame by being perfect. We accept our imperfection as part of universal human nature and accept that we are all more alike than we are different. Competition can be fun; it doesn’t have to put our self-esteem on the line. Today I will laugh at myself and take joy in being human. ************************************************** ~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~ God’s will never takes me where his grace will not sustain me. ~ Ruth Humlecker ~ Letting go of our own will in favor of fulfilling God’s is certainly in our best interests. However, it is not always easy to do. We often cling tenaciously to a dream gone sour or a relationship long since dead because of our fear of the unknown. Although a good lesson comes from our past lives—we clearly see that God’s plan would have been better for us than our own—perhaps the best lesson comes from our recovering lives today. We didn’t get here all by ourselves, and God didn’t help us find this program only to abandon us. We are in God’s care now and always. Believing that we will survive every experience, no matter how inadequate or frightened we feel, will come as we develop trust. Acting as if we believe that God is in charge will carry us until the belief becomes solid faith. And it will. We have been promised that. God’s grace will see to it. I will trust my life to God today. Again and again I will turn my life over and believe that all is well. ************************************************** ~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~ I am no longer avoiding my problems In the past I had a ready solution to any upset or problem—I'd get high. It seemed to work, at least for a while. But instead of teaching me how to face problems, it taught me how to avoid them. To begin changing this old way of coping, I got clean and sober. In recovery I am now learning new coping skills, such as reaching out for help, going to support group, and journaling. Although the skills still feel tentative and unfamiliar, I no longer feel helpless. I now have some choices. And when I have choices, I have less fear and more strength. Today I will practice a new skill on an old problem. ************************************************* ~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~ A friend is a person with whom I may be sincere. ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson ~ Remember having a best friend when we were little? We could talk for hours about nothing and everything. Our friend knew our innermost secrets and loved us no matter what we did. Somewhere between our youth and our alcoholism we lost that simple part of life: a friendship based on sincerity, sharing tears, and laughing together late into the night. True friendship has been lost to us lately, but now we have a chance to find it again. We will find it in the fellowship of a recovery group. They are sincere in their desire to help because they have all reached out for a caring hand before we did. Our new friends see us as no others could. They concentrate not on our defects, but on our strengths. They share our pain as well as our joy in the progress we are making. They offer encouragement and enlightenment. They offer forgiveness and hope and life. Today let me grateful for my new friends. ************************************************** ~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~ To travel hopefully is a better thing than to arrive, and the true success is to labour. ~ Robert Louis Stevenson ~ Very rarely do things work out in the way you want them to. Each day has imperfections, glitches, and snafus. Some days work out better than others, but one thing is for certain: there is no perfect day. The same holds true in your recovery. If you set your expectations too high or expect everything to flow smoothly, then you are setting yourself up for disappointment. Just as there is no perfect day, there is no perfect way in which to work through your recovery. You can expect to make mistakes, to fall short of your desires, and to face challenges. Life is made up of chaos, but if you cannot accept chaos in your recovery, then you may find yourself constantly disappointed. Set the bar too high, and you may fall short. Set it too low, and you may find the slow pace of change frustrating. Rather than expect your recovery to go a certain way, let go of your need to control people, places, and things and simply let your recovery—and your life—unfold. I will start my day with no expectations for how things will turn out. Instead, I will go with the flow and adapt as much as I need to. ************************************************** ~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~ Selfishness always aims at creating around it an absolute uniformity of type. Unselfishness recognizes infinite variety of type as a delightful thing, accepts it, acquiesces in it, enjoys it. ~ Oscar Wilde ~ If we think of those who take care of themselves as selfish, we need to look at our definition of selfish. If we want to stay up late and talk and another person doesn't, who is selfish? The person who is tired and wants to sleep, or the one who insists he or she stay up? Stating a limitation is not selfish; we are taking care of our needs and being honest. Selfishness is when we insist we have our way at the expense of another's needs. Selfishness is dishonest, because it doesn't honor the truth expressed by another. To be unselfish, we first must be able to listen to others. After we learn to listen, we need to accept what is expressed. And to be truly unselfish, we must be able to enjoy the difference in others. When we can delight in the variety of people around us, we have achieved true unselfishness. Can I accept the differences in others? I can begin by listening to others and learning just how different we all are. ************************************************** ~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~ Being an individual Because we work the same Steps everyone else in the program works and associate with other people in similar circumstances, we may sometimes question our individuality and the uniqueness of our personalities. Personality is what we wish others to see in us. It’s an impression and reflects our desire for recognition. It’s important to remember that each of us is unique and has a talent waiting to be expressed. Individuality is the expression of our unique gift—it’s what our soul longs for. Our program teaches us to use our individuality. It’s not necessary to worry about personality when we are meeting life’s conditions as an individual driven by our Higher Power. Personality comes naturally, and is noticeably uncontrived, when we express our individuality. Am I a true individual? Higher Power, help me get past my personality so I may meet you face to face, as an individual bearing no false fronts. Today I will express my individuality by God help me to stay clean and sober today! ************************************************** ~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~ Open your eyes! The world is still intact. ~ PAUL CLAUDEL ~ Newcomer Someone who entered recovery close to the time I did stopped coming to meetings about a month ago. I've just learned that she has relapsed. I called her once, but she said she was busy and never called back. I'm surprised at how betrayed and unsafe I feel. I hardly even know her. Sponsor Like you, when someone has a relapse, I feel deeply shaken. Another human life is at stake. Someone who was on my path, whose presence served as solace and example, has left. He or she may never come back. I'm powerless over another person's decision and over what time will bring. My desire to rescue comes up, and I know I have to let that go—no one can rescue us from addiction. Then I go through feelings of betrayal: how could he or she have abandoned me like this? What if everyone else decides to drop out? Where will I be then? Mixed with this feeling is one of anger: she's getting to have her drug of choice again! I want it too, and I'm furious that I can't have it. After the anger, fear, grief, and loss, I may feel something like gratitude. I understand how deep my own commitment to recovery is, how much I need and want it. Today, I choose recovery again, for one more day. ************************************************** ~ THE EYE OPENER ~ Knowledge is of great value and nothing of value is acquired without price. Wisdom is even more to be desired than knowledge, which can be but an accumulation of facts. Humility is greater than wisdom for there is no real wisdom without humility. The wise are humbled by the knowledge of the limitations of their knowledge. No man is born with these characteristics, they are born of the vicissitudes of life. Sorrow, despair, and failure are their breeding grounds. ************************************************** ~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~ Patience for My Family God, give me patience for my family members, For their criticism and unkind words, For their loud outbursts and often drunken ways. Remind me of their kind words and support, Their sober moments of tenderness and love. Allow me to find the good that each of them possesses. They are my family, and I love them unconditionally. ************************************************* ~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~ FOOL'S GOLD In mining country one comes across a valueless substance that is so like gold ore that inexperienced people cannot always tell the difference. This is called Fool's Gold, and many a young prospector has wasted much time and hard work before discovering that he has been deceived by the spurious article. Old timers used to say to the tenderfoot: "When you think you have found gold you probably have not; but when you do find it, you will know it for certain." So it is with the prospectors on the mountain range that we call life. There are many kinds of fools' gold to be found, but when you meet the genuine article you will have no doubt in your mind. The true gold will give you a sense of peace and poise, a sense of freedom and power because you will no longer be in bondage to passing material things. It will set you free from much of the tyranny of time and space beliefs. The true gold is that sense of the Presence of God with us, to obtain which is the object of this life. Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and cometh down from the Father of lights . . . (James 1:17). ************************************************** ~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~ Press Out I want to tell you not to move into that world where you’re alone with yourself and your mantra and your fitness program or whatever it is that you might use to try to control the world by closing it out…I’m just telling you to live in it, to look at it, to witness it….Take chances, make your own work, take pride in it. Seize the moment. ~ Joan Didion, giving a commencement address ~ While working out at a health club, I was fascinated by how deeply the patrons insulated themselves with buffers to social interaction. One woman was riding an exercise bicycle, listening to a Walkman through earphones, and reading a magazine. In another section, the music was so loud that it was difficult to carry on a normal conversation, and everywhere, television sets were blaring news at a high volume. There was very little incentive, invitation, or possibility to reach out to connect or communicate with others. While health and fitness are worthy endeavors, we must be careful not to use them to escape from life. Do you medicate your pain with a particular habit? If so, what is it? In one of my seminars, the participants generated a long list of ways we attempt to escape from our challenges, including drinking, using drugs, smoking, anxious eating, unconscious sex, workaholism, busy-ness, relationship dramas, exercise, watching TV, whirlwind social activities, computer obsession, sports fanaticism, soap operas, romance novels, and religious fanaticism. While many of these activities are innocent when used for joy or play, they can hurt us if we hide in them at the expense of dealing with the issues that we face. Begin to tell the truth about where you are hurting, and confront your pain. You will gain so much energy, strength, and peace through your fearless quest that you will become a true master. You will find that the discomfort you attempted to escape contains the key to your healing when you face it. Give me the strength to bring forth my true aliveness. I am empowered by life. I master challenges by facing them with love and courage. |
November 29
Step by Step Today, if my candle is burning at both ends with responsibilities, obligations and expectations, I will not complain or seek adulation and, instead, will practice gratitude and humility that I now am trusted to carry out what is asked and expected of me. But if I feel overwhelmed at times, I can fall back on the an edict “First Things First.” The first thing is sobriety. Without it, there is nothing; with it, there is everything. The benefits sobriety bring include service to the sufferer who needs and wants to hear the message, and I should not shirk or complain about being in service. Not only does what I contribute to another soul strengthen my own against a possible slip or relapse, I need only to remember the days when I was drunk literally 24/7 and ask if those days were better than now. Today, my yesterdays are nowhere better than today, and today is where I will stay without complaining, without seeking recognition and instead ask in humility for His will and the power to carry it out. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M. ************************************************** ~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~ BRIDGES People are lonely because they build walls instead of bridges. ~ Joseph Newton ~ We discovered — and hardly believed it at first— that we were not alone. We were really not that different from everybody else in the Program. We began to sense that we did belong somewhere and our loneliness began to leave us. Our addiction encouraged us to build walls around ourselves, to keep out reality and to keep in the awful person we thought we were. When we began recovery, we started to tear down those walls, brick by brick. On the foundation that was left, we have started to build a new life. That new life is connected to the real world, to other people, and to the Program by the bridges we've built with our positive actions. We've learned that with honesty and sharing, we no longer need walls to protect us. I am learning to tear down the walls I have built and have begun to build bridges. ************************************************** ~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~ Too many people are thinking of security instead of opportunity. They seem more afraid of life than death. ~ James F. Byrnes ~ Life is never fully secure, and those of us who grew up in stressful households learned early that security was a precious thing. What we didn’t learn was how to reach out from our security to seek and grasp opportunity. One problem we may develop in our recovery is overcautiousness, which comes out of our frightening memories of being out of control in our addiction and codependency. Life is always a risk. Walking up to the plate to take a swing at the next pitch is a risk, but life is so much richer for doing so. Part of our recovery is learning to accept opportunity when it appears and allow for the possibility of mistake. We don’t need to condemn ourselves for having tried; we can learn from every at-tempt. We are much more alive for the risks we take and the opportunities we accept. Today my life is richer for the possibilities that I am moving toward. ************************************************** ~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~ As I grow older I feel so much freer to be me. This is a real blessing that I never anticipated. ~ Marie Gubbels ~ Many of us didn’t know who we were when we first got into recovery. We may have mimicked other people’s actions and beliefs with no forethought, only with the desire to fit in. One of our worst fears was that we didn’t belong. Trying to look like, act like, and think like other women— these actions made us feel safe, inconspicuous. That we were trapped by our fear never dawned on us. Doing an inventory, as suggested by the program, helps us know who we honestly are. We can see our personal traits; we can evaluate what we want to do about qualities that cause us grief. And we can feel gratitude about others. But, most important, we can see who we actually are, not who we tried to be for years. The program makes this possible. And the reward will be a peacefulness more gratifying than any we have ever known. No longer do we need to try someone else’s behavior on for size. What fits us, fits only us. And that is good. Being myself today means not watching others for clues about what to think or say. I will listen to my inner voice and with her help be true to me. ************************************************** ~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~ I am slowing down When I was using and having symptoms, I had little patience or tolerance. I couldn't wait for a red light to change or a deposit to clear the bank. I wanted what I wanted when I wanted it. I reacted sharply and quickly. I was headstrong. With some time in recovery, I have more patience. I can think things through. I am less irritable and fearful. Getting clean and sober has helped a lot. So has taking my medication. I am finding out that there are no quick fixes, and that it helps when I take my time. Today I will practice walking slower and driving slower. ************************************************* ~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~ Stress has its own siren. The first step in stress reduction is removing our earplugs in order to learn what needs to be changed. ~ Joe Montgomery ~ Stress can work for us if we learn to listen to its messages. If we listen, stress can lead us to healing. Many of us have become numb to our own stress and pain. We may have become so conditioned to overdoing and rushing around frantically that a kind of emotional paralysis has captured our senses. But learning to listen to our overtired bodies and spirits takes time, and time may be the one thing we’re not willing to give up. Listening to stress messages in our lives helps us stop in our tracks and give priority attention to ourselves. At first we may feel uncomfortable with the notion of sitting still and listening to our bodies and emotions. We’re new at paying close attention to ourselves, at caring for our own needs. But if we have patience and give ourselves time to slow down, we will learn to hear the internal music that tells us what we need to know. This part of our recovery is getting to know our body again, listening carefully to it the way we do to a loved one. After all, our first loved one must be ourselves. Today let me realize that I can begin to heal my stress if I am willing to stop, rest, and listen. ************************************************** ~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~ You must pay the price if you wish to secure the blessings. ~ Andrew Jackson ~ Although the program teaches to live and recover “One day at a time,” that does not mean you cannot dream about who you would like to become or what you would like to be doing at a future time in your life. Being able to live and recover in the present as well as being able to look ahead and envision a future path can give you something to look forward to, something to work toward, and something to help keep your present feelings focused on the path ahead. Too, dreaming about things you would like to come true can add a positive perspective to your present life. Rather than wallow in despair or self-pity, having something to look forward to can minimize negative feelings. Those things you are facing in the present will eventually pass, and at some future time you will have moved on to a better way of living. When you have hopes and visions for the future, you can still the demons of the present. You can feel less troubled and more energized for your future. Dreams give you the promise of another day, another way, and a better life. I will create dreams for the future that will infuse energy into my recovery today. ************************************************** ~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~ The most important thing in life is not to capitalize on your gains. Any fool can do that. The really important thing is to profit from your losses. ~ William Bolitho ~ It is easy to see the profit in what we gain, but it is not so easy to see the profit in what we lose. Projects that take shape and collections that expand show the gains we have made. But how can we see profits from the end of a relationship, the loss of a job, or the estrangement from family? Each loss represents a step we need to take toward maturity and growth. Throughout our lifetimes we will walk up many steps. Sometimes it may seem like we have a never-ending stairway in front of us. Our gains are the level parts of each stair, but the real progress is made when we climb the stairs of our losses. Although we may feel as though we have nothing when we go through a loss, what we do have is the experience of the loss. We learn to deal with a different lesson. Our profits from a loss may not show up immediately, but we will discover the rich rewards as we learn to accept life on its terms—not on ours. Tonight I can learn to look at today's losses as gains. What have I learned? How have I grown? ************************************************** ~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~ Finding friendship We have friends we dance with or play sports with. This is friendship on a pleasure plane. Then we have friends in our professions and jobs. These friendships are on a different plane of common interests. Next is the identity and intellectual plane where we discuss favorite topics. But the highest and most beautiful plane of friendship is one in which we share the same spiritual quest. We have the glory, through this fellow-ship, of experiencing immediate communion and intimacy with our people wherever we go. Such friendships last as long as the solution, which is our common bond. Have I found a multitude of friends? Higher Power, thank you for blessing me with a world full of friends who share my spiritual quest. Today I will offer my friendship to God help me to stay clean and sober today! ************************************************** ~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~ If only we'd stop trying to be happy we could have a pretty good time. ~ EDITH WHARTON ~ Newcomer What is it about me? A while ago, I finally figured out that I really did feel better on the days I meditated. When I meditate, I like the feeling of being refreshed and alive. But I get impatient with it, and I rebel against doing it consistently. Sponsor I've often heard it said at meetings that the definition of in-sanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting that things will turn out differently. The same kind of logic applies here: I try something, I experience good results—so I quit doing it! It makes no sense, unless you're an addict. The results of regular meditation are subtle but powerful. Over time, a transformation takes place not only in our minds and feelings, but also in the cells of our bodies. It's well established that people who meditate have better-regulated blood pressure, a high level of efficiency and competence at what they do, improved relationships, more zest for living, and greater serenity. It costs absolutely nothing to do, requires no equipment, and takes relatively little time. We don't have to punish ourselves for what we failed to do yesterday. Today is as good a day as any to begin again. Rather than struggling with meditation, just sit down and allow it to happen. Today, I do all that I set out to do with ease and pleasure. ************************************************** ~ THE EYE OPENER ~ We find in life exactly what we are looking for. In your drinking days you courted trouble constantly and you probably found more than your share of it. Today we are looking for a better way of life and this, too, we find at every turn. We get what we want if we put forth sufficient effort to look for it, if we have the ability to recognize it when we see it, and the tenacity to hold on to it when once we grasp it. ************************************************** ~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~ Wealth, Power, Fame Dear God, I pray to remember I will not care overly much for Wealth, or power, or fame, Or one day I will meet someone Who cares for none of these things, And then I will realize How poor I have become. ~ Adapted from writings by Rudyard Kipling ~ ************************************************* ~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~ PASSIVE BEFORE GOD To be sensitive is good, because sensitive people are aware of a thousand interesting or beautiful things where the obtruse person gets nothing. To do any creative work you have to be sensitive; because the creative worker is a "receiving set" for divine Mind. A world-famous tenor, who was literally fretting himself to death over unimportant matters, broke down in my office, and said that God was cruel to make him so sensitive. I replied, "If you had the hide of a rhinoceros you might be a happier man, but you would not be at the Metropolitan." In an electric circuit any given point is said to be positive to any point below it, and negative to any point above it. Current passes always from the positive to the negative, and never the other way. Now, if you are positive in this sense to everything but the action of God, no negative things can come back at you. On the other hand, you are receptive (or "negative" in the purely electrical sense of this ambiguous word) to all good—the direct inspiration of God, the prayers of other people, and all the beautiful and interesting vibrations in the universe. Here is an affirmation that, intelligently used, will save you much unnecessary bombardment by negative thoughts: I am positive to everything but the action of God. For it is God which worketh in you both to will and to do of his good pleasure (Philippians 2:13). ************************************************** ~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~ The Faithkeeper Keep your faith in all beautiful things; in the sun when it is hidden, in the Spring when it is gone. ~ Roy R. Gilson ~ I saw Bill Moyers interview Oren Lyon, a Native American whose role in the tribe was “The Faithkeeper.” Eloquent, centered, and purposeful, Oren Lyon explained the importance of having one person in the tribe who consistently holds the higher vision. He was designated to be the voice of hope, an inspiration to remember the bigger picture when others forget it. Each of us needs to be a Faithkeeper. When others around us go into fear or confusion, we serve best by remembering the light and holding peace. I went to a hospital to visit an infant who had been born with some serious health challenges. As I stood outside the nursery with the child’s relatives looking at the baby laden with tubes and bandages, I sensed great worry, fear, and pessimism from the infant’s family. In that moment, I realized that my purpose there was to simply remain peaceful; the greatest service I could offer would be to stay calm while others were losing their cool. Without saying a word, I meditated inwardly and affirmed the presence of God, knowing that the child was loved, cared for, and protected by an unseen hand. I know a woman who was invited to sit meditatively in the room where Middle East peace negotiations were being held. Her role was to pray and hold the vision of unity and healing. We hire people to be responsible for all aspects of important projects. Why not designate someone to fulfill the most important aspect—the remembrance of the presence of God. The next time someone around you loses their cool, remember to be the Faithkeeper. As long as you remain sane, the situation is assured of healing. I pray to be a force for faith. I magnify the presence of God wherever I am, and bring peace to the world. |
November 30
Step by Step Today, understanding that a substitute chemical to replace alcohol that alters my perception of reality is not working toward recovery from an addictive personality, may I also understand that “mind- and mood-altering chemicals” may not necessarily include prescribed medications. If depression continues to be a condition even in sobriety, for example, let me listen to reasons why anti-depressants may not compromise my sobriety but may even improve its quality. The debate in AA and other 12-step programs that any substance which alters mood costs us our sobriety is as old as the program itself. But the program admits it is not a medical one, and that tells me it is my responsibility to seek out knowledge from qualified sources to determine if my sobriety is at risk. Today, understanding that the substances I ingested are not the same as prescribed medications, let me also consider the possibility that acting as my own physician may be writing my own relapse somewhere down the road. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M. ************************************************** ~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~ MEDITATION If thou may not continually gather thyself together, do it some time at least once a day. ~ Thomas A’ Kempis ~ For all of us who take meditation seriously, the real purpose is to improve our conscious contact with our Higher Power. But when we meditate, we are also giving ourselves time to digest the rich rewards we find in the Program. We begin our day with a quiet time of prayer, meditation, and reflection. We take the time at night to review our day, to see the things we might improve, to remember the things we aid well and enjoy them. Meditation is a quiet time in a noisy world. It is a chance to talk with our Higher Power and to listen for answers to our questions. It's an opportunity in the evening to let stress and tension flow away, and to regain serenity. Meditation is a time of healing. Today, I will also remember that meditation heals me from the scars of a busy, noisy world, and lets me return to serenity, just as it helps me with my conscious contact with my Higher Power. ************************************************** ~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~ I don’t know the key to success but the key to failure is trying to please everyone. ~ Bill Cosby ~ In our codependency we often think first about what others want. We try to make everyone happy and smooth the edges of conflict for everyone else. It seems like such a caring and loving way to live. We may even be so grandiose as to think we can handle frustrations and swallow disappointments better than others can. Whatever created this urge within us, when we take it to extremes, we are so focused on others that we don’t even know our own feelings. Sometimes we act in dishonest ways to protect others and we get blamed for the failures that inevitably result. In recovery we develop the humility to understand that we are members of the human race, no stronger than others, no better able to care for others than they can for themselves. Happiness comes from within each person; we cannot create it in them. Our own peace of mind comes from within us, not from pleasing others. If someone is disappointed in us, we are big enough to accept that. Our first obligation is to take responsibility for ourselves, then we can begin to be generous toward others. Today I will know myself first and accept that I don’t have to please everyone. ************************************************** ~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~ You’re right where you’re supposed to be. ~ Anonymous ~ Few circumstances in our lives evolve perfectly. Health problems develop, jobs don’t work out, or, even worse, significant others leave us. For a time we can’t cope. We become angry, distraught, or full of self-pity. When a sponsor or friend says “You’re just where you need to be,” we want to scream. With time, however, we usually calm down and accept this message. A divine plan is unfolding in our lives. We don’t know ahead of time the route we will take or the destination we will arrive at. Our wisdom is simply the certainty that we are “in the right place at the right time.” Our Higher Power is in charge, and whatever our experiences, they are preparing us for the rest of our journey. I am where I need to be today. And God is planning my trip. ************************************************** ~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~ I know that abstinence is critical in my life In the process of hitting bottom, I could think of little else than making sure that I drank and stayed drunk as much as possible. In a way, I believed using was keeping me alive. I knew no other way to deal with my physical or emotional problems. My daily goal in recovery is the opposite— my life depends on staying clean and sober. Abstinence is my principal tool for dealing with problems. And with the help of my higher power, I can do what it takes to stay abstinent. I will write a note to myself about the most important thing I must do today to stay abstinent, and carry it with me. ************************************************* ~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~ When a man is deprived of the power of expression, he will express himself in a drive for power. ~ Jose Arguelles ~ If we are to grow in recovery, if we are to break out of our isolation, if we are one day going to learn to give back some of what we have received, we must find out what our gifts are. That means making art, whether by painting or welding or parenting. Many of us used to think art was luxury, art was for a highbrow elite and had nothing to do with us or how we lived. But we also used to think that way about prayer or about God, and now we find both at the center of our days. Art is not about making a product to buy or sell. And it is not about success or failure. Whatever we make is a mirror. It’s feedback. Art is about connecting with nature and God and joining them in their continual act of creation. Art has the power to center us, to stop us in our tracks and make us see. We’ve found isolation from other people to be a death, an act of isolation. So, too, is the refusal to express ourselves. Through art we can find out what our gifts are, and learn to give them with joy. Today help me take one step toward finding out what my gifts are. ************************************************** ~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~ Prayer is not an old woman’s idle amusement. Properly understood and applied, it is the most potent instrument of action. ~ Mohandas “Mahatma” Gandhi ~ Prayer is not a time in which you ask for what you do not have, but when you ask for guidance to understand what you need. It is not demanding fulfillment, but remembering to look around you and give of yourself so others are fulfilled. It is not begging for happiness, but understanding that a positive attitude will help you in life. Prayer is not asking for your problems to be solved, but learning how to figure things out for yourself. It is not asking for forgiveness, but understanding your mistakes and errors and learning how to forgive yourself. It is not a time in which you make lists of demands, but when you sit in stillness and listen. It is not a time for making promises, but an opportunity to think of the promises you can fulfill. Prayer is not a time in which you ask your Higher Power to think of you, but a time in which you think of your Higher Power. Prayer is the closest you can come to a spiritual presence, and when you can become closer to yourself. Today I will use prayer and meditation to connect with my Higher Power so I may more fully understand my purpose ************************************************** ~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~ Simply to live is a wonderful privilege in itself. . . . But to what are you alive? Is it merely to a daily routine? . . . How much do you really live outside of your chosen profession or occupation? ~ Henry Wood ~ From an acorn to a tree, the oak puts all its energy into growing as strong and tall as it can. Moisture, sunlight, and nutrition are gathered for its leaves, acorns, branches, and trunk. Yet if our oak tree takes all the moisture, sunshine, and nutrition, other nearby trees will be weaker and smaller. We have within us a forest that demands attention for its growth: a career tree, a family tree, a recovery tree, a parent tree, and a friendship tree. If we spend more time and attention on one than the others, the neglected ones will not grow strong. Every part of our lives should be important to us: our families and friends as well as our recoveries and careers. It may be commendable to receive lots of promotions at work. But if our families are neglected, the forest inside us will not flourish. Every part of life needs attention for us to succeed. Tonight I can begin to balance my time. All areas of my life need attention. ************************************************** ~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~ Lives worth saving For many of us, the prospect of death was not a big thing. In fact, while we were using, many of us would have preferred to die. So it may not have seemed like much of a favor when our Higher Power saved our lives. But our Higher Power also showed us that our lives were worth saving. This was the big step for us. We deserved to live! We were worth saving! We were not the wretches we had made ourselves out to be! How glorious to have our Higher Power show us how we could do its work—how we could carry the message and be worth some-thing to countless others! Do I value my life highly? Thank you, Higher Power, for showing me that I am worth saving after all. I will enhance my self-worth today by God help me to stay clean and sober today! ************************************************** ~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~ God knows no distance. ~ CHARLESZETTA WADDLES ~ Newcomer Step Twelve begins with the phrase "Having had a spiritual awakening ..." I'm disappointed to report that I've never had a vision, seen blinding light, or witnessed anything supernatural in recovery. Sponsor Let's look at what the whole phrase says. "Having had a spiritual awakening as a result of these steps" reminds us that a spiritual awakening, for most of us, has been a gradual process, a consequence of a whole series of actions that we've taken over time as we've practiced Steps One through Eleven. Sometimes, instant transformation occurs; perhaps we ourselves, though we may not have heard voices or sensed a divine presence, can remember one particular moment when things seemed to turn around for us. Whether we can recall such a moment or not, the real miracle of recovery is one that has evolved over many days and months, the miracle that we've become willing to grow and are open to doing things differently. I think of the phrase "a spiritual awakening" not as something magically conferred on us by outside forces, but as the waking up of our spirits over time. Today, the spirit within me is awake. ************************************************** ~ THE EYE OPENER ~ Many who are active in AA work come to feel that they just can't carry on any longer. There is so much to do; so little time can be spared to do it; so few to do the work. There is a limit to their edurance. After all, a guy has just so much health, strength, and patience. When the burdens get too heavy and too numerous, take it up with the Big Boss, tell Him you like to do His work, but that it is more than you can handle — ask Him for more help — you'll get it. ************************************************** ~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~ For My Sponsee Dear God, You have placed a new sponsee for me to welcome to our recovery world. I pray that this person will be filled with joy, peace, and serenity if it be Your will. I'll try to help. I'm not a professional counselor, medical consultant, or financial expert. I hope to be this individual's friend. I have only my experience, strength, and hope to share. I will teach the ways of the Program and help this person find his or her own answers. I can't prevent a relapse but can only carry this message—and help my sponsee find his or her own spirituality. I will listen and hear and learn from this person. I will love this individual until he or she can experience self-love—and beyond. Thank You, God, for this opportunity. ************************************************* ~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~ SLOW TO JUDGE Many years ago a professor wrote a book in which he said that he could always tell if a person were a potential criminal by the shape of his ear! This naturally created something of a furor, and a London newspaper sent a reporter to interview old General Booth, of the Salvation Army, on the subject. The reporter said, "General, you probably have an unmatched experience of human nature in the raw. Do you believe there is such a thing as a criminal ear?" William Booth laughed loudly through his Mosaic beard, and replied, "Why, of course there is a 'criminal ear'—and we've all got one. If it were not for the grace of God, every one of us would be doing time or deserving to." William Booth understood human nature. You never can afford to condemn another, because in his shoes you would probably have done just as badly. Have you not noticed that sometimes after condemning someone else rather pharisaically, you have shortly afterward caught yourself in a moral failure? Wisely did the Master say, "Judge not." But why dost thou judge thy brother? or why dost thou set at naught thy brother? for we shall all stand before the judgment seat of Christ (Romans 14:10). ************************************************** ~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~ Watch Your Bags When it comes time to do your own life, you either perpetuate your childhood or you stand on it and finally kick it out from under. ~ Rosellen Brown ~ While peering over the edge of the airline counter, I noticed on the agent’s keypad a long strip of paper displaying a question in bold letters: “Are you carrying anything given to you by a stranger?” The notice reminded the agent to ask each passenger this question, in compliance with stricter federal aviation measures to protect airplanes from terrorism. As the agent processed my ticket, I realized that the question is a good one for all of us: Are you carrying anything given to you by a stranger? Are you unconsciously holding any ideas, beliefs, opinions, morals, judgments, intentions, or world views that you have adopted from others? Learning values from others is natural, but unless they serve you, they are dangerous. While our parents, teachers, and ministers taught us many valuable lessons, they also passed to us various forms of fear and prejudice. My sixth-grade teacher lived in fear of Communism. When the Russians placed their Sputnik into orbit, Mr. Kraftchick inflicted a long diatribe on our class about how the Soviets could now place nuclear bombs in their satellites and drop them all over America. Since Mr. K. was a wise teacher who ostensibly knew so much more than I did, I accepted his fearful projections, and I be–came terrified. Although this man was a good teacher in many ways, he did a great disservice to us little children by frightening us with his own insecurity. I adopted his nightmare and began to live in terror of nuclear war. When I later visited Russia, I found warm and openhearted people who had grown up fearing that people like me would drop bombs on them. If you are in pain or fear, or have difficulty with dysfunctional patterns in a relationship or in financial areas, you may be carrying a bomb in your luggage. While you were unaware at the time you accepted it, you now have the wisdom and power to remove it. Help me to undo illusions from my mind and heart. I pray to live in the real world of love. I believe in the truth of God’s presence, and let all else go. |
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