August 16

Go and wake up your luck.
-- Persian proverb

We've been given recovery. For this, we're lucky. And we're grateful. Now it's up to us. We must accept our choices. When we're afraid, do we choose to be alone? Or do we choose to go to an extra meeting? When we're not honest, do we keep it secret? Or do we admit it and try to be more honest? No matter what we choose, we're responsible for that choice. Through choices, we either make our program strong or weak.

We can choose to be lucky. Or we can choose not to be. The choice is ours. Our addiction robbed us of choice. It taught us to blame others. Now we see ourselves as responsible.

Prayer for the Day

Higher Power, help me to choose wisely. Help me remember I'm responsible for my choices.

Today's Action

Today I'll work at being responsible for my choices. I'll see myself as one of the lucky ones.

You are reading from the book:

Keep It Simple by Anonymous

August 17

Every conflict has many levels

Some couples live as if they are fighting a cold war. Conflicts are handled by retreat into silence with each feeling like a self-righteous victim. When we retreat into this role we abandon ourselves and our commitments to our relationship. We tear away at the relationship we originally created out of love and hope.

When conflicts arise, as they must, resolution depends on taking the risk to go back to our partner with enough calmness to listen and speak our piece. We must let go of our pride and desire to be right. We each believe our case is just.

But our differences are not necessarily about who is right or wrong, good or bad. Every conflict has many levels. Many times in conflict what we want most is to feel listened to and understood. When we listen and work to understand, we can let go of our need to "win," and our differences can build our common strength.

Tell your partner about a conflict or difference of opinion for which you have gone silent.

You are reading from the book:

The More We Find In Each Other by Merle Fossum and Mavis Fossum

August 18

... there are many sham diamonds in this life which pass for real, and vice versa, many real diamonds which go unvalued.
--W. M. Thackeray

It's high praise to say that someone is "genuine - the real thing." We use the image of jewelry when we talk about character: "Pure gold - 14 karat - rings true - a diamond of the first water - a pearl." The qualities of beauty and rarity make gems precious to us, and by using the same language to describe people, we imply that real personal worth is equally beautiful, and equally rare.

Yet it's within everyone's grasp. We all agree on the valuable character traits: honesty, loyalty, openness, courage, humor, and the capacity for love. Imitations won't do.

I needn't worry about whether someone else's qualities are genuine. I know what I admire and I have plenty to do polishing my own.

You are reading from the book:

The Promise of a New Day by Karen Casey and Martha Vanceburg

August 19

Disappointment and Frustration

If we blindly accept someone else's beliefs or opinions - taking them as our own - then we set ourselves up for disappointment and heartache. If we do not examine another's viewpoint, in the light of our own experiences and abilities, we place the control of our happiness or sorrow in someone else's hands.

A gentleman illustrated this point with a story from his own life. "My father always regarded sticking with one job as a mark of stability. This, he felt, was emotional maturity even though he stayed unhappily at the same job for years. I never questioned his opinion.

"So, when I lost my first teaching job, I lost all my self-confidence as well as my father's approval. I believed I was emotionally immature and unstable. Then, after four more teaching job disasters. I discovered what the real issue was. It wasn't my lack of maturity or stability at all. It was my unsuitability to the job itself.

"I discovered I hated teaching basic skills just for the security of a paycheck. What I really wanted to do was write. That's what I'm doing now, but it took me five teaching jobs and a deep questioning of my father's views before I found what was right for me."

Today, I will not blindly accept another's opinion without examining it in the light of my own experiences, abilities, and desires.

You are reading from the book:

The Reflecting Pond by Liane Cordes

August 20

It takes more courage to reveal insecurities than to hide them, more strength to relate to people than to dominate them, more "manhood" to abide by thought-out principles rather than blind reflex. Toughness is in the soul and spirit, not in muscles and an immature mind.
--Alex Karras

In our culture, being a man often means being tough and not showing feelings. We realize in this life of recovery that those are silly and immature myths, even though we see them repeatedly on TV, on billboards, and in newspapers.

When we are told these things repeatedly, it makes an impact on us. So we need to hear from each other that this is not the way we wish to live. We don't admire these attitudes, and we don't believe the stories. Truly courageous men know themselves. They have been around enough to have depth to their souls, to let themselves love, and to feel the pain of life.

Today, I am grateful to know and share my feelings and to have genuine relationships with those I love.

You are reading from the book:

Touchstones by Anonymous

August 21

Anything forced into manifestation through personal will is always "ill got" and has "ever bad success."
--Florence Scovel Shinn

The main thrust of our recovery is to attune ourselves to God's will, struggling no longer to impose our own. The pain we've endured in past years was often of our own making. We controlled situations until we managed to force the outcome we desired, only to realize it didn't offer happiness. It was, instead, a bitter ending to the struggle.

When we want something or someone to play by our rules, we can expect barriers. And when the barriers don't give way with a gentle push, we should consider it a clue that we are off course. When we want what God wants for us, the barriers, if any, will fall away.

What God wants for us at every moment is growth and happiness. When we step away from our ego and develop a selfless posture toward life, we'll find serenity in the midst of any turmoil. Serenity is God's promise. When we get in line with God's will, we'll find peace.

I will know God's will if I will listen to my inner voice. I will do what feels right, and peace will be my reward.

You are reading from the book:

Each Day a New Beginning by Karen Casey

August 22

Some people regard discipline as a chore. For me, it is a kind of order that sets me free to fly.
--Julie Andrews

If we think of the word discipline, we might visualize forms of punishment or reprimand from teachers, parents, or bosses. Yet discipline doesn't have to be negative or an effort in blood, sweat, and tears. Discipline can be the structure we need in order to achieve our goals.

Within the program are disciplines to follow to achieve our goal of a renewed outlook on life. The Steps are probably the greatest discipline, for they provide a framework to formulate more positive beliefs about ourselves and our lives. Going to meetings is another discipline that helps keep us on track as we learn and grow. There are other disciplines, too - sharing with others, reading literature, becoming committed to a group, and practicing the program's principles in all our affairs. All these disciplines keep us focused on our ultimate goal -- freedom from all past obsessions and negativity. With the discipline of the program, we can learn to fly.

I can discipline myself to remain focused on the program. I know the benefits of such discipline.

You are reading from the book:

Night Light by Amy E. Dean

August 23

Reflection for the Day

Someone once defined the ego as "the sum total of false ideas about myself." Persistent reworking of the Twelve Steps enables me to gradually strip away my false ideas about myself. This permits nearly imperceptible but steady growth in my understanding of the truth about myself. And this, in turn, leads to a growing understanding of other human beings and God . Do I strive for self-honesty, promptly admitting when I'm wrong?

Today I Pray

God, teach me understanding; teach me to know truth when I meet it; teach me the importance of self-honesty, so that I may be able to say, sincerely, "I was wrong," along with, "I am sorry." Teach me that there is such a thing as a "healthy ego" which does not require that feelings be medicated by mood-alterers. May I slowly, on my tightrope, move toward the ideal of balance, so I can do away with the nets of falsehood and compulsion.

Today I Will Remember

To keep my balance.

You are reading from the book:

A Day at a Time (Softcover) by Anonymous

August 24

It is a mistake to look too far ahead. Only one link in the chain of destiny can be handled at a time.
--Sir Winston Churchill

How many times today will we think or say, "I wish I knew what was going to happen"? We can find contentment in the knowledge that God will take care of us, regardless of the outcome of any situation. And even more importantly, God already knows the outcome, and we'll know it too when the time is right. We never need to worry; all is well. We're given the knowledge and direction we need when we're ready for it.

If we had known two or three or ten or twenty years ago that we'd be sharing our current journey with non-using, non-drinking men and women, we'd likely have expressed horror and disbelief. And yet we're here, gratefully so, living more peace-filled moments than we would have ever imagined possible. We got here, little by little, with God's care. We'll get where we're supposed to be in the same loving manner.

I will trust each moment of my life to God's loving care.

You are reading from the book:

In God's Care by Karen Casey

August 25

How many ways can you brush your teeth?

Our habits save time, and some of the good ones, such as abstinence, can also save our lives. A fine line separates useful habits from ruts; however, the former, we wish to cultivate, and the latter, we'd just as soon avoid.

How about trying a new route to work? It might take a little longer, but you'd also have different scenery to view. How about doing some relaxing, stretching, unwinding exercises before dinner? Introducing novelty into the details of our existence makes us aware that today is a new day and that we can alter our responses.

Habits are our servants, not our masters. When we see how easy it is to change the color of our toothbrush and start with the bottom teeth instead of the top, we can branch out to other, more significant activities. We can make changes in our behavior that will change our lives in positive ways.

What would you like to do differently today? What specific action can you take to begin to climb out of an uncomfortable rut?

I will identify an unproductive habit today and turn it upside down.

You are reading from the book:

Inner Harvest by Elisabeth L.

August 26

Letting go

If addiction is about control, recovery is about letting go. If addiction is about denial, recovery is about accepting what is.

As we spend time in the program, we learn something unexpected and amazing. Life is so full of twists and turns, it's easier to follow along than to try to straighten them out. It's easier to have fewer expectations because, after all, we have no control over the future or the present.

Can I practice letting go?

Higher Power, help me to be open, flexible, and accepting in my recovery.

You are reading from the book:

Day by Day - Second Edition by Anonymous

August 27

Anything forced into manifestation through personal will is always "ill got" and has "ever bad success."
--Florence Scovel Shinn

The main thrust of our recovery is to attune ourselves to God's will, struggling no longer to impose our own. The pain we've endured in past years was often of our own making. We controlled situations until we managed to force the outcome we desired, only to realize it didn't offer happiness. It was, instead, a bitter ending to the struggle.

When we want something or someone to play by our rules, we can expect barriers. And when the barriers don't give way with a gentle push, we should consider it a clue that we are off course. When we want what God wants for us, the barriers, if any, will fall away.

What God wants for us at every moment is growth and happiness. When we step away from our ego and develop a selfless posture toward life, we'll find serenity in the midst of any turmoil. Serenity is God's promise. When we get in line with God's will, we'll find peace.

I will know God's will if I will listen to my inner voice. I will do what feels right, and peace will be my reward.

You are reading from the book:

Each Day a New Beginning by Karen Casey

August 28

Grief and crisis
. . . accept it as a wise teacher.

A couple has a child whom they would go to great lengths to protect, yet the child falls ill and lies near death. A woman devotes years to a career; then the economy shifts, leaving her unemployed. Addiction diverts a man from his path, and he loses everything he cares about. Life brings trial and defeat as part of its package. We would never choose defeat and we cannot avoid its pain, but we can accept it as a wise teacher. Out of defeat is born new strength.

We need wisdom to deal with defeat and grief. We will face them together more than once. The false comforts of self-pity and blame may tempt us in our pain, but they take much more from us than they give back. Through crisis we see clearly what truly counts in our lives, and we are better prepared to relish the pleasures when they arrive.

You are reading from the book:

The More We Find In Each Other by Merle Fossum and Mavis Fossum

August 29

Man can live his truth, his deepest truth, but cannot speak it.
--Archibald. MacLeish

Many of us have lived double lives. There were public selves whom others knew, and private selves whom no one met. It was a compulsive world, and both sides were false. Many of us grew up in addicted families and learned this double life early by hiding from outsiders what life was really like at home.

In this program we learn to live our truth before we can speak it. It is more in our actions than in what we say. We may never know the words for this truth because we do not consciously invent it. It comes to us quietly over time and slowly merges all our parts. Gradually we begin to feel whole again as we surrender our double lives for single, truthful ones.

Let me have the trust to give myself to the work of recovery and follow it where it takes me.

You are reading from the book:

Touchstones by Anonymous

August 30

My relationship with nature and plants is almost like religion with me.
--Monty Cralley

Feeling connected to something outside of ourselves is important to our perception of life. And being alive assures us of many new situations. Maybe it's a move to a smaller residence or our recovery from the death of a dear friend. Having to give up cherished possessions is a decision we all have to make at some point, too. But handling any of these circumstances is easier when we have a connection to the world around us; nature, for example, can always provide us with a sense of solace and familiarity.

The natural world comforts many of us. Just noting the cycle of life in the trees and plants helps us to remember that everything changes. Everything is transformed, but life and beauty are still present if we look for it. When we're feeling lonely, it helps to remember that God is still present and evident in the miracle of the natural world.

It doesn't matter how we define God or if we do at all. God may speak to us through the swaying tree branches or through people. Or we may get a glimmer of God in a passage in a book. That we do sense something larger and external to ourselves is what matters at the end of the day.

I will continue nurturing my spiritual side today.

This will comfort me.

You are reading from the book:

Keepers of the Wisdom by Karen Casey