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Even More Recovery Readings and Meditations - May
May 1
Step by Step Today, not as an alcoholic working to avoid a relapse but as a soberholic embracing the addictive habit of recovery, I will laugh. I can now find the tragic irony of all I have wasted and lost only to be led to this point when I no longer have to drink - because sobriety has replaced my addiction to alcohol. I can laugh for the relief that I now think in terms of wanting sobriety more than fighting an urge or temptation to drink because, now, I don't need the drink or high. I can laugh at myself for realizing I have made my journey away from chronic intoxication so needlessly complicated because I overlooked a simple and basic truth: I want sobriety more than drinking. With that, I can work the steps with less fear, less hesitation, a higher self-esteem - and the hope and faith that my sobriety has progressed to where I need to be: in recovery. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M., 2016 ************************************************** ~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~ CONSCIOUS CONTACT The task ahead of us is never as great as the Power behind us. ~ Anonymous ~ Step Eleven improves our conscious contact with God. We prepare ourselves for whatever is to come when we ask only to do the will of God. The more we practise this Step, the better we get at hearing what God is telling us. Our sixth sense of intuition becomes our main sense. We begin to intuitively know what to do. We shouldn’t be surprised that we find ourselves in service. What better task is there for us than to carry the message? Step Eleven keys us into our Power. Step Twelve exercises that Power where it can do good. It is good to practice Step Eleven before we attempt to do anything, even get out of bed in the morning. I focus on establishing contact with and turning my will over to my Higher Power before I attempt to do anything. Step Eleven opens my ears and my heart to what I am supposed to accomplish. ************************************************** ~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~ Our Lord has written the promise of resurrection, not in books alone but in every leaf of springtime. ~ Martin Luther ~ Springtime is a perfect metaphor for renewed life, recovery, and resurrection. All around us we see the buds of leaves and flowers bursting forth in celebration. Just like nature, we, too, experience our personal springtime of renewal. Our personal anniversaries are worthy of celebration, whether it be one day, one month, or many years of recovery. Some people are shy about celebrating their days and years of recovery. Maybe they feel unworthy, or they don’t want to draw attention to themselves. But the true spirit of celebration is humility. It’s not be-cause we have worked so hard that we deserve it; it’s that we have been given the gift promised in the Twelve Steps. Because we submit to the grace of God, we celebrate the gift we have received. Today I see the symbols of renewed life within me and all around. ************************************************** ~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~ When I’m acting as if I’m the center of the universe, it’s helpful to he reminded that I’m just another bozo on the bus. ~ Rose Casey ~ Being just another bozo on the bus doesn’t mean that our lives lack importance. On the contrary, we are coming to believe that each of us is here by design and destined to make a unique contribution to the whole of humankind. We are also coming to understand that our participation in an unfolding situation does not affect its entire outcome, crucial though our part may be. When we can fully understand the meaning of this truth, we will sense a freedom that we did not know before. In the past we tried to be the center of the universe. This meant being responsible for nearly every circumstance affecting almost everyone we knew. Through the program we are learning that being in charge of ourselves, and ourselves only, is a big enough job in itself. Freeing ourselves of the burden of making decisions for everyone we love will enhance our well-being. Let’s revel in our bozoness! I am as free and as joyful as I want to be today. I am In charge of myself and my well-being. ************************************************** ~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~ I can manage my feelings of guilt There were times when I felt so guilty that I (a) used chemicals just to forget the pain; (b) couldn’t be around people; (c) hurt myself and even thought of suicide. I considered myself a bad person and knew of no way to change. I still think of using sometimes when I feel guilty. But I don’t−because in dual recovery I am taking three facts to heart: I have no-fault illnesses, I tend to be hard on myself, and I am a good person who deserves love and health. In recovery, I am learning that my feelings of guilt diminish when I work my program (for instance, by doing a Fourth Step and a Fifth Step) and stay honest doing a daily Tenth Step inventory. The relief, the peace, are worth it. Today I will do an anonymous favour for someone. ************************************************* ~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~ Defeat is not the worst of failures. Not to have tried is the worst failure. ~ George Edward Woodberry ~ Any new task, especially an important or difficult one, can cause anxiety. We can think of all sorts of reasons for not beginning a task, but the real reason is often fear of failure. We don’t want to look foolish or have people laugh at us, or look down on us because we didn’t do well. The irony is that just the opposite is true. Most people admire someone who has tackled a major task, like learning a new language, or going back to school, or getting into an exercise program. Trying new things takes a certain amount of courage, and most people respect those who at least try. Getting sober, arresting an addiction, is probably one of the most difficult tasks anyone can do. Sometimes, as we are working on recovery and wondering how on earth we can gain and maintain our program, we forget we are not alone. It’s normal to have a certain amount of doubt and anxiety, but that is not a reason to quit trying. We can be assured that the doubt and anxiety fades as, in time, we come to accept our powerlessness and the help of our Higher Power. With the grace of God, we are not alone. Today help me take a risk and not be afraid of failure. ************************************************** ~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~ Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs. ~ Step Five ~ A prayer is a humble and heartfelt communication with a power greater than yourself. A prayer can admit a weakness, communicate a need, or convey praise and gratitude. Prayers can unburden your heart, give you strength and courage, and deepen your faith and trust in a Higher Power. Use the following prayer as you work on your understanding and acceptance of Step Five. Step Five Prayer Higher Power, I have undertaken a searching and fearless moral inventory. I have learned much about myself, and I have come face to face with the effects of my addiction. Higher Power, thank you for the strength you have given me so I could accomplish this task. Your guidance has helped me see the wrongs I have committed. I now understand what is right. I ask for your forgiveness for the harm I have done. I pray that you will look upon me with kindness and mercy. With your help, I can admit—with complete honesty and respect—the exact nature of my wrongdoings to you and to someone I trust. I humbly ask for your guiding light to show me the path ahead. Through your guidance, I will make progress in my recovery. Higher Power, thank you for listening to my prayer. ************************************************** ~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~ The first sight of the lighthouse set boldly on its outer rock, the flash of a gull, the waiting procession of seaward-bound firs on an island, made me feel solid and definite again, instead of a poor, incoherent being . . . It was a return to happiness. ~ Sarah Orne Jewett ~ Many of us have things that calm us, center us, bring us inner peace. For some it is the ocean, with its smells, sounds, rhythm, vastness. For others it is a spectacular sunset, where luminous colors spark each surrounding cloud into an ethereal hue. Still others may have a song that gives peace and comfort. These are our positive relaxation "fixes.” When we have been away from the ocean for a while, we have an urge to go again. Just seeing the ocean is reassuring and soothing, as is the sunset or song we seek for comfort. Our ability to recall is a wonderful gift. By closing our eyes we can see relaxation, hear it, touch it. We can create it clearly in our minds. A few minutes of such meditation can do hours of good. What relaxes me and makes me feel good? Tonight I will think about that pleasant thought and feel the peace and contentment it gives me. ************************************************** ~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~ Loving ourselves Our fellowship tells us to take care of our-selves first. It tells us that life and our Twelve Step program come before anyone or any-thing else. But what if we get too self-centered about this? Taking care of ourselves does not mean being selfish or maliciously hurting others to meet our own needs. What it means is that we learn to love and mature ourselves, because we are important. We are truly closest to ourselves, if we don’t love ourselves, who will? The famous psychologist Erich Fromm says that if people can love productively, then they can also love themselves; if they can love only others, then they cannot love at all. This means that, to be able to love others, we need the capacity to love and care for ourselves. Am I learning to love myself? Higher Power, help me to love myself so that I may better love you and others. Today I will work on how I feel about myself by God help me to stay clean and sober today! ************************************************** ~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~ Always do one thing less than you think you can do. ~ BERNARD BARUCH ~ Newcomer In my first few months of recovery, I gave most of my attention to this program. Since becoming able to function better, I’ve taken on more responsibilities in my work life. I’m trying to do what I can to clear up debts and make some financial progress. But I’m overwhelmed with all my responsibilities, and I feel tired much of the time. Sponsor I identify with your desire to try to make up for lost time. When I first entered recovery, I felt exhausted just thinking about how much I had to make up for and how little time there was to accomplish everything. It didn’t occur to me that relaxation and creativity were equally as important and that, in fact, they were necessities of life. You may need to reassess the responsibilities you’ve taken on. This is a good time for you to think about which of your responsibilities are essential, and which give you genuine pleasure. You may find that you can drop some activities to make time for others that lift your spirits instead of draining them. We didn’t enter recovery to make ourselves miserable. Joy is not only possible; it’s a requirement! Today, I honor my need for joy. ************************************************** ~ THE EYE OPENER ~ The aim of AA is not Sobriety but Happy Sobriety. The most effective and incidentally the soberest group, is the happiest group. It is possible that you can’t speak at meetings, maybe you are not in a position to “carry the message,” but you can and should show your happy sobriety in the radiance of your smile. It is our only advertisement and it should outshine in brilliance the gaudiest of neon signs. The poor guy still in the gutter isn’t interested in your sobriety, he’s interested in the price of another drink. He is, however, very much interested in happiness. It’s what he has been looking for all his life and thought he could buy by the “fifth.” ************************************************** ~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~ RESENT SOMEBODY The moment you start to resent a person you become that person’s slave. He or she controls your dreams, absorbs your digestion, robs you of your peace of mind and good will, and takes away the pleasure of your work. A person you resent ruins your spirituality and nullifies your prayers. You cannot take a vacation without the person going along! He or she destroys your freedom of mind and hounds you wherever you go. There is no way to escape the person you resent. That person is with you when you are awake and invades your privacy when you sleep. That person is close beside you when you eat, when you drive your car, and when you are on the job. You can never have efficiency or happiness. The person you resent influences even the tone of your voice. He or she requires you to take medicine for indigestion, headaches, and loss of energy. That person even steals your last moment of consciousness before you go to sleep. So if you want to be a slave, harbour your resentments. ************************************************* ~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~ DEALING WITH DISHARMONY It hath been said, Whosoever shall put away his wife, let him give her a miting of divorcement: But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery (Matthew 5:31-32) We are told that in those days divorces were granted by the rabbinical law on most trifling grounds. Married people who were not getting on togeather as well as they would have liked, were prone to run away from the problem by obtaining an easy dissolution. Now we understand that no permanent happiness can be obtained in this way. As long as you are running away from your problem, you will continue to meet in a new guise at every turn in the road. Just as in running from one business position to another, without first having brought about a change in consciousness, we find ourselves but repeating the old conditions in a slightly different form, so, as a rule, people who divorce freely are apt to finish up as dissatisfied as they began. The general role in Truth is, fight out your problem where you are, with prayer. The general rule is still good for all conditions in life: Do not try to divorce or amputate the inharmony, but let it dissolve away of itself under God’s guidance. ************************************************** ~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~ Treasured Wounds The only appropriate response to your brother is gratitude. ~ A Course in Miracles ~ Charles Dickens' character Miss Havisham was jilted by her fiance. As a lifelong reminder of the pain he caused her by leaving her at the altar, Miss Havisham keeps the wedding feast on her banquet table, just as it was. Although it has become stale and moldy, she regularly looks upon it with regret and resentment. If we have an investment in not forgiving someone, we carry a "treasured wound” that reminds us of the injustice done to us. This wound might be an actual physical injury, pain, or illness; an article symbolic of our relationship; a photo; a piece of jewelry; a letter; or another person who connects us to the person. In all of these cases, we harbor one purpose: to keep the pain alive as we focus on the feeling that we have been victimized. From the standpoint of the Spirit within us that loves to be free and happy, treasured wounds make no sense whatsoever. The voice of fear urges us to hold on to any memory or symbol that proves we were dishonored. The voice of love, on the other hand, holds on to any mementos of the love and blessings a relationship brought us. Are you keeping any moldy wedding feasts on your banquet table? You may not be holding on to a literally stale meal, but perhaps you are still getting mileage out of an old hurt. Perhaps you have told the same story a hundred times, believing you gain justification by framing yourself as a victim. But with every shovelful of resentment we cast at another, we dig our own grave. We only lose when we cling to treasured wounds. Instead, let us treasure the blessings we have gained. A Course in Miracles reminds us that “all that is left of your past is a blessing.” Let us clear the dead banquet from the table and invite someone wonderful for a new feast. Help me find blessings and release any pain I have held onto through unforgiveness. I release the past to make way for a brighter future. © Alan Cohen 1996, 2010 |
May 2
Step by Step Today, if I have made sincere amends to those I wronged "except when to do so would hurt" them, I must progress beyond regret, shame and anger to what may be my single strongest and most meaningful amend: committing myself to sobriety and recovery. For all I might have said or done as an alcoholic and now sober, I cannot become the proverbial doormat and let anyone or anything hammer me for the mistakes I have tried to correct, especially by those who cannot or will not accept my apologies. I can allow a margin of regret that I may not be forgiven by all I have hurt, but I cannot afford to be kicked down repeatedly. Today, if I have been rebuffed or cannot make amends because doing so might lead to more damage, I can find reconciliation in being sober. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M. ************************************************** ~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~ FRIENDSHIP Friendship of a kind that cannot easily be reversed tomorrow must have its roots in common interests and shared belief. ~ Barbara W. Tuchman ~ We find the meaning of friendship in our Fellowship. We no longer take hostages or allow ourselves to be hostages. We give and take freely in a spirit of good-natured affection. The friendship we find in our Program is one where hidden agendas are left at the door. We relate to one another as human beings and fellow travelers. We leave sharp jealous attitudes in our old life, where they belong. We are careful to honor each individual. We remember that every person we meet has something to teach us. When we extend our hand to a person who is still suffering, we do not forget that it wasn’t so long ago someone extended a hand to us. I find myself able to become friends with individuals I disliked at one time. They may not have changed, but I most certainly have. The world in general has become a much friendlier place. ************************************************** ~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~ If you come to a fork in the road, take it. ~ Yogi Berra ~ The humor in this quotation points to some deeper wisdom. The fact is, we all come to forks in the road of life, and we have to choose which way to go. Sometimes we cannot see a clear best choice. Sometimes we know what the best choice would be, but we cannot face the losses or the pain it would entail. Many of us have stopped at the fork in the road and just sat there for a long, long time, refusing to take either way. The healthy, creative, constructive life requires some risk taking. Even when we are not sure which is the best way to go, it may be better to try one of them than to just stay stuck. Certainly it is wise to stop, consider our choices, and not be too hasty or impulsive. But after we think and weigh the options, making a choice will lead to new information, which will then influence our next choices. That is how we follow a creative and lively path for ourselves. Today I will remember that some risk taking is healthy. ************************************************** ~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~ One of the many blessings or opportunities my recovery gives me is the realization that there is a bus out of the old neighborhood. ~ Elizabeth Farrell ~ Today we have many opportunities to chart a new course in our behavior. We don’t have to keep feeling inadequate or anxious. We can decide to change how we act toward other people and how we respond to the unexpected. It’s our choice. There is great hope and promise in knowing how personally responsible we are for our actions and, thus, our successes. There is even greater hope in knowing that we can feel as peaceful as we make up our minds to feel. With our Higher Power’s help, we are in charge of the way we see the events in our lives. And with that help we are in charge of how we maneuver through the moments of every day. What lucky women we are! Never again will we be at the mercy of our obsessive feelings. And never again will life be any more difficult than we decide to let it be. With the help of each other, our Higher Power, and our willingness to change, we will know a new freedom. I can hop on the bus of change at any stop throughout the day. And it’s a free ride to serenity! ************************************************** ~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~ I know I have a problem with alcohol I could accept the fact that I had a psychiatric illness and I was able to manage it (I took my medication as prescribed). But I didn’t agree I had an addiction. When I drank, I usually had just one, because I thought I knew my limit. Alcohol seemed to affect me little. I wanted people to just leave me alone about this. But once I thought about it, I realized it had become harder to stop at “just one.” Then it became harder to stop at two−especially the nights I got drunk. I was feeling more tense and irritable, and I found myself thinking about drinking more and more. Fortunately, my doctor suggested that alcohol was probably affecting me more than I realized. I’m glad I listened to her and got help before my addiction progressed further. I will call my doctor, therapist, or sponsor when I still have doubts about drinking. ************************************************* ~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~ It was the turtle who won the race, you know. ~ Jessica S. ~ In early recovery, we can get so excited about change that we want to change everything in our lives, often radically, and we want to do it right now. That impulse can be self-defeating. It took a long time, sometimes years, to progress in addiction; it will take time to make progress in recovery, too. We need to look for small, slow changes rather than big, dramatic ones. And if we look closely we can already see results. Are we sleeping better? Feeling physically stronger? Have we gotten medical care, if we needed it? Has our nervous system settled down? Are we feeling less jangled, more calm? Are we able to concentrate better? Have we lessened our fear and anxiety? Do we feel more at home in the world? Have we found a Higher Power to share our lives? Do we feel a kinship with other people? Do we feel more serene in our relationships? If the answer to any of these is “yes,” we’ve already made measurable progress in our recovery. The rest will come with time. As the tortoise showed us, slow and easy wins the race. Today help me to rejoice in small victories. Let me be satisfied with small successes. ************************************************** ~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~ When the way comes to an end, then change—having changed, you pass through. ~ I Ching ~ A Zen parable relates the story of a young monk who enters the monastery. Eager to begin his new life so he can attain spiritual fulfillment, he asks the head monk to provide him with some guidance. The head monk asks, “Have you eaten your breakfast?” “Yes, I have,” the young monk replies, to which the head monk says, “Then go wash your bowl.” Fulfillment can be thought of as the outcome of executing something in a way that brings closure to it. With such fulfillment comes a sense of achievement that helps build self-confidence and facilitate change. When the young monk is told to eat breakfast and wash his bowl, he leams that spiritual fulfillment is something that will not be attained immediately or may never even reach a point of completion. Fulfillment is ongoing and something he must tend to each day. Your recovery can be seen in much the same way. One form of fulfillment comes when you have reached the end of a day in which you have remained free from your habit. Another comes when you do the work required in the Steps. Each morning I renew my energy and seek fulfillment through the program, then reflect upon my accomplishments at the end of the day. ************************************************** ~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~ Weigh thy words in a balance, and make a door and bar for thy mouth. ~ Old Testament Apocrypha ~ What we say can hurt or heal. We may look back at times and wish we hadn't said something to someone. Perhaps we can see the hurt we caused by harsh or insulting words. We may be able to recall a snide or impatient comment delivered to an unsuspecting stranger or friend. Words can be powerful weapons. By the same token, we may be able to recall when someone said, "Thanks, I really liked what you said to me. It helped." We may have made someone laugh or smile despite tears, or we may have been able to point out a different viewpoint to someone blinded by rage or impatience. Words can be powerful healers. Freedom of speech doesn't mean we can say anything we want whenever we want. Communication is an action that requires responsibility. Abuse of speech can lead to angry confrontations, severed relationships, and isolation. The responsible use of our gift of speech can lead to healthy relationships and positive emotions. We can listen to ourselves and learn whether our voice helps or hurts. My words can hurt or heal. Which will I choose? ************************************************** ~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~ Helping others We have been given so much help in our ad-diction through countless other people who have searched for a solution. If others hadn’t searched and found, who would have been there to offer us a helping hand? The ones who come after us can help us best by letting us help them. Newcomers are a constant reminder and source of joy to us. We’re on this path together, and we should never forget to be grateful for our fellow addicts. Do I help others? Higher Power, help me always to be grateful to the ones who have helped me, and help me offer my hand to others. Today I will help my fellow addicts by God help me to stay clean and sober today! ************************************************** ~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~ One never notices what has been done; one can only see what remains to be done. ~ MARIE CURIE ~ Newcomer You seem so tolerant, so easygoing. You’re always telling me to relax. Shouldn’t you be tougher on me? Sponsor Why are we so hard on ourselves, so impatient, so dissatisfied with the ongoing miracle of our recovery? In our hearts, we don’t believe in the effectiveness of going through a gradual process over time; that’s not how we learned to do things in our lives of active addiction. Consuming an addictive substance or acting out a compulsion had an almost instantaneous effect. We grew accustomed to making things happen that fast, and today we may think that if things take time, we’re somehow defective. Perhaps we’ve had little experience of practicing something on a regular basis, without forcing results. Work and effort; gentleness, relaxation, rest—all these are necessary parts of the same process. Today, I’m satisfied with who I am, what I have, what I do. ************************************************** ~ THE EYE OPENER ~ The United Nations and the old League of Nations both recognized the fact that man’s conquest of time and space has brought the nations of the earth into such close and intimate relationship that national problems are now world problems and must be dealt with accordingly. Their lack of success, up to the present time, stems from their inability to recognize the common Fatherhood of God and the inherent brotherhood of man. They attempt to settle world affairs without consulting the Power that made both the world and the men in it. ************************************************** ~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~ LIVING THE WAY WE PRAY I knelt to pray when day was done And prayed: “O Lord, bless everyone, And lift from each heart the pain, And let the sick be well again.” And then the next day when I did awake, I carelessly went on my way. The whole day long I did not try To wipe a tear from my eye. I did not try to share the load Of any Brother on the road. I did not even go to see The sick man just next door to me. Yet once again when day was done I prayed: “O Lord, bless everyone.” But as I prayed, to my ear There came a voice that whispered clear: “Pause, hypocrite, before you pray: Whom have you tried to bless today? God’s sweetest blessings always go By hands that serve Him here below.” ************************************************* ~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~ DISCIPLINED SPEECH Read Matthew 5:33−37 Again, ye have heard that it hath been said by them of old time, Thou shall not forswear thyself, but shalt perform unto the Lord thine oaths: But let your communication be, Yea, yea; Nay, nay: for whatsoever is more than these cometh of evil (Matthew 5:33, 5:37). Swear not at all, is one of the cardinal points of the teaching of Jesus. It means, briefly, that you are not to mortgage your future conduct in advance; to seek to fix your conduct or your belief for tomorrow while it is yet today. Rather you are constantly to keep yourself an open channel for the pouring out of the Holy Spirit into manifestation through you. Of course, Jesus does not mean that you are not to enter into ordinary business engagements. Nor does he mean that the only ordinary oath administered in a court of law is inadmissible. These things a are matters of legal convenience. The Sermon on the Mount is a treatise on the spiritual life, for the spiritual life controls all the rest. ************************************************** ~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~ Lord of Your Kingdom Make your life a mission, not an intermission. ~ Arnold Glasgow ~ One of my favorite literary characters is the beloved Don Quixote, Man of La Mancha, brought to life by Miguel de Cervantes. Through worldly eyes, Don Quixote appears to be a foolish itinerant, but his spiritual vision reveals him to be a knight on a mission to bring truth, love, and purity to a dismal world. He vanquishes a windmill he fancies to be a fire-breathing dragon; he ceremoniously dons an old brass shaving bowl as "The Golden Helmet of Umbrino”; when he meets the town harlot, Aldonza, he gives her his handkerchief and humbly adores her as Dulcinea, “The Sweet One.” Aldonza laughs in his face and jabs, “I am no Dulcinea, you fool—I am a ****!” Don Quixote objects, “No, my lady, you mustn't speak that way about yourself; you are my lady Dulcinea, and I your knight, the Lord of La Mancha.” Like many visionaries, Don Quixote poses a threat to those who believe in worldly power, and his foes devise a plot to break him of his delusions. They capture him in a room of mirrors and convince him that he is not a knight, but a fool. They succeed in breaking his spirit, and he becomes ill and despondent. In the final scene of the play, Don Quixote lies weakly in a dungeon after he has been convicted of heresy and sentenced to death. There Aldonza and Don Quixote’s sidekick, Sancho, visit him and try to remind him of his quest. “I know of no quest,” he retorts sharply. Aldonza takes his hand and kisses it. “Don’t you remember?” she asks. “You are the Lord of La Mancha, and I your Lady Dulcinea!” A light begins to gleam in Don Quizote’s eyes, and soon he reclaims his quest. “Sancho, get my armor!” he commands, and sings the classic song, The Impossible Dream. As the guards call Don Quixote to his execution, it is clear that although they may annihilate his body, his spirit has triumphed. Give me the strength to believe in my quest and live it. My visions are given to me by God. I will live my dreams. Alan Cohen 1996, 2010 |
May 3
Step by Step Today, security in sobriety to sustain any disappointments - minor and major - that I encounter in recovery. The best laid plans of mice and men do not always take form even in sobriety, and I must not deceive myself by expecting life to go as I think or expect it should only because I have stopped drinking. Part of the nature of alcoholism is the ultra-sensitivity to disappointment, sometimes to a disproportionate degree, and the result could be the false belief that I have failed somewhere along the line. Life for the non-addict is not always a bed of roses, but the thorns can cut the recovering addict's psyche deeper. Today, mindful that even the rose bed of sobriety has hidden thorns, I will not be disenchanted if I am stung. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M. ************************************************** ~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~ CHANGING ATTITUDES The Program is education without graduation. ~ Anonymous ~ We can never escape from reality. We must adapt to the real world no matter how different and difficult it seems. We can’t change the facts of life, but we can change our attitudes toward them. That’s the purpose of the Program, which we learn to cope without returning to the false courage and comfort of our addiction. Stress and pressure are enemies of serenity. When they threaten to overcome us, we remember that they have been trying to make mankind escape into chemicals for ages. The healthy attitude we work for doesn’t believe that stress and pressure come our way because “life isn’t fair.” It’s important to our recovery that we remember, “We don’t have attitudes; they have us.” I’m learning new attitudes towards old problems, and new solutions for them, by working my program. I am learning to live in the real world. ************************************************** ~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~ When you have got an elephant by the hind leg and he is trying to run away, it’s best to let him run. ~ Abraham Lincoln ~ We know what it feels like to have an elephant by the hind leg when he wants to run. We have held on to our addictive and codependent ways, thinking we were in control and refusing to face the reality that we were about to get trampled. Now we can be grateful for the guidance of Step One. When we could admit we were not in control, that changed everything. Some of us knew we were out of control but didn’t know where to go from there. We were living in despair, but with no place to turn. Steps One and Two pointed the way to a spiritual release. We were told that if we “let the elephant go,” we could get help from a Higher Power. This new way of thinking gave us a whole different take on our life. We can let go and we will survive. Today I am grateful for the life-changing option of letting go. ************************************************** ~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~ Sometimes the things that frighten you the most can turn out to be the biggest sources of strength. ~ Iris Timberlake ~ Not many things would send fear through us if we remembered to rely on our Higher Power at all limes. Yet we try to handle circumstances ourselves first. It’s often only when we finally feel hopeless I hat we turn to our Higher Power for the help that awaited us all along. We make our lives much more difficult than they need to be. Let’s quit thinking through our problems alone, no matter how foolish they seem. Let’s quit trying to handle tough people alone. Let’s trust that every circumstance, no matter how small, is a lesson offered by God. And let’s know that the outcome will be the right one for our particular growth at that moment. Things that frighten us do so only because we have failed to remember the presence of our Higher Power. Let’s pray for the willingness to remember God’s presence. When we do, we will know a new strength. Today I will let God help me handle every moment of my day. ************************************************** ~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~ I have much to offer Deep down I used to think of myself as a sick and defective person in a life that could not be changed. I thought I was someone who could not take responsibility, who could not hold a job, who just kept making the same mistakes, as if she didn’t know better. Getting a hold on my dual disorder has been a struggle, but after some months now in recovery, I feel stronger, resilient, even courageous. With my abstinence and stability I can see that I do not have to be limited by my problems: I am not just a person with a dual disorder. I have abilities and I am learning how to put them to use as I heal. These days I sense that I can do whatever is needed, not just to take care of myself, but to flourish. Today I will make a list of my strength, my assets. ************************************************* ~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~ Ah, what is more blessed than to put cares away! ~ Catullus ~ There’s nothing like a good hearty laugh to pick up a gloomy day. Laughter has such a calming effect on us, doctors ought to prescribe it: “Take two jokes, and call me in the morning.” Laughter liberates the tormented soul and soothes the troubled heart. Laughter helps us keep perspective; our troubles are less scary, our woes are dimmer, life is less frightening. No two of us laugh at the same thing; our sense of humor is as unique as our fingerprints. It doesn’t matter what we laugh at — life’s silly moments, our own mistakes, or the circus clown falling on a banana peel — we’re always richer just for doing it. Laughter works on our bodies like stationary exercise, banishing tension and bad thoughts as it loosens the muscles and soothes the mind. A good laugh leaves a happy aftertaste that lingers on and helps us fend off the ghouls and goblins and things that go bump in the night. Laughter is song, it’s joy, it’s life itself. Today help me bring the gift of laughter to another, and help me find more laughter in my own life. ************************************************** ~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~ People have a hard time letting go of their suffering. Out of a fear of the unknown, they prefer suffering that is familiar. ~ Thick Nhat Hanh ~ Each time you engaged in your habit, a link on a chain was created. Over time, more and more links were added until the chain that bound you to the habit was strong and it prevented you from moving about freely. It imprisoned and enslaved you. The process of letting go in recovery is one in which you remove, one by one, each link in the chain of your addiction. If you came into the program knowing your decision to be free from your habit was the right one, you started your recovery with a deep determination and conscious commitment. And you have discovered that, by letting go and letting both your Higher Power and the program work through you, you have kept your focus strong. You have been able to slowly break free from this chain. But if you entered the program kicking and screaming or thought of your recovery as something you would do to prove that you could take a break from your habit, then you may be finding it harder to break free. Until you completely surrender your will and let go, you are still enslaved by your habit. I will let go and completely surrender. Through this action, I will find greater freedom. ************************************************** ~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~ Go ahead with your life, your plans, your preparation, as fully as you can. Don't waste time by stopping before the interruptions have started. ~ Richard L. Evans ~ Inside each of us is a little voice called "Too Cautious." Too Cautious loves to be the initiator of doom, the forerunner of disaster, the messenger of disappointment. When we start to plan our vacations, for example, Too Cautious will tell us we don’t have enough money, or we probably won’t get a reservation, or we've got too many other things to do. lf we think about going back to school, Too Cautious will tell us we won’t have enough time or we'll probably flunk. If we want to ask a friend to do something with us, Too Cautious will whisper in our ears that we aren’t likable and will probably get refused. But we don't have to listen to Too Cautious. We can listen instead to our Higher Power. We'll soon hear inspiring words of faith that will help us take more risks, like "Why not?" or "Wouldn't that be nice?" or "What a wonderful idea." We can listen to our Higher Power for strength, hope, and guidance in all our affairs. What's stopping me from making plans or taking a risk? ************************************************** ~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~ Losing our self-centeredness The Fourth Step inventory helps us see our character defects. When we take a look at why we resented others, for example, our self-centeredness jumps out at us. In the past we set up situations that helped only our-selves. Then, when things didn’t go our way, we quickly became resentful of people (or places or things). That kind of self-centeredness is what nearly killed us, but we persisted nevertheless. If we use that same persistence in finding and working on our character defects, our self-centeredness will diminish and make way for the growth promised in the Ninth Step prayer. Am I using my self-centeredness? Higher Power, help me find and work on my character defects, especially my self-centeredness. Today I will work on my self-centeredness by God help me to stay clean and sober today! ************************************************** ~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~ If you obey all the rules, you miss all the fun. ~ KATHARINE HEPBURN ~ Newcomer I went to a wedding where it seemed as if everyone but me was celebrating in ways I used to love—overeating and getting drunk, among other things. Either they were consuming stuff right under my nose, or else they were talking about all their little addictive habits without questioning them, as if they hadn’t a care in the world. Sponsor First, let me congratulate you for getting through a demanding social event without picking up. We go through a process in recovery that begins with feelings of loss and deprivation and progresses to a sense of freedom. It takes awhile. In early recovery, I envied and resented nonaddicts. Everywhere I looked, people seemed to be bingeing in one way or another without negative consequences. It took time to accept that the things they could do without negative consequences—or believed they could do—were toxic for me. As my denial lifted, my attitude toward recovery became somewhat egotistical. For some time, I lived off a sense of superiority. They were in the dark, I thought. They were the ones who were deprived; I’d found a better way. Over time, we stop being so concerned about others’ lives. What other people do for fun is their business; we have our own path. It doesn’t make us better or worse than anyone else, but it does make us different. Today, I love being alive; I celebrate my recovery. ************************************************** ~ THE EYE OPENER ~ George Washington is often credited with being America’s first millionaire, yet few people are aware of this fact. He left a heritage so much richer politically, economically, and historically, that his own personal wealth is forgotten. His personal wealth has long since been dissipated but the opportunities in this country he helped establish, will continue as long as men’s lives are motivated by the same unselfish devotion to mankind that he exemplified, both in public and private life. ************************************************** ~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~ LOVE IS Love is friendship that has caught fire. It is quiet understanding, mutual confidence, sharing, and forgiving. It is loyalty through good times and bad. It settles for less than perfection and makes allowances for human weaknesses. Love is content with the present, it hopes for the future, and it doesn’t brood over the past. It’s the day-in-and-day-out chronicle of irritations, problems, compromises, small disappointments, big victories, and common goals. If you have love in your life, it can make up for a great many things you lack. If you don’t have it, no matter what else there is it’s not enough. ************************************************* ~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~ RESIST NOT EVIL Read Matthew 5:38−42. But I say unto you, That ye resist not evil . . . (Matthew 5:39) Jesus is a revolutionary teacher. He turns the world upside down for those who accept his teaching. When once you have accepted the Jesus Christ message, all value change radically. The old law was that whatever man did to man, he should himself be made to suffer by way of punishment. If he put out another man’s eye, his own was put out by the officers of justice; if he killed, he was killed. The desire to “get even,” to get one’s own back, to level things up somehow or other, when we have been hurt or have suffered injustice, or witnessed things of which we did not approve, will remain with us until the time when we definitely take ourselves in hand and destroy it. “Revenge,” said Bacon. “is a kind of wild justice.” Now Jesus reverses this and says that when someone injures you, you are to forgive him. No matter what the provocation may be, and no matter how many times it is repeated, you are to loose him and let him go, for thus only can you be freed yourself. ************************************************** ~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~ First-Class Flying Above all things, reverence yourself. ~ Pythagoras ~ The movie Defending Your Life suggests that when we leave this world we review the experiences in which we succumbed to fear rather than choosing love. As Daniel reviews his life, he realizes that he consistently denied his own good, until the following event: After a devastating divorce, Daniel was left with a small amount of money and an airline ticket for a vacation in the Orient. When Daniel arrived at the ticket counter for his pleasure outing, the agent told him, “You have seat 38B.” “Does that mean I’ll be sitting in the back of the plane between two other people for ten hours?” he asked. “I’m sorry, sir, there are no other seats available.” “How about in first class?” “There is one first-class seat left; to upgrade will cost an additional $3,000.” Daniel deliberated for a moment, then exclaimed, “I’ll take it!” Do you love yourself enough to give yourself what would make you happy? Can you trust that your happiness will not take away from another's good, but will only add to the sum total of joy in the universe? Asking for what you want is not selfish; it is your responsibility. The more you honor yourself with beauty, play, and joy, the greater will be your capacity to love and serve others. I open myself to receive all the gifts You would offer me. I accept the best that life has to offer. |
May 4
Step by Step "Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him." - Step Three Today, have I surrendered my will and life to a higher power after having "made a decision ..." We are warned, "Selfishness - self-centeredness! That ...is the root of our troubles." Selfishness, easily identified in our Fourth Step, gives way to humility - the total surrender of self to the will of a higher power. The Third Step lays the foundation for the spiritual change that we work toward in subsequent steps, and change can be little or nothing if we do not first experience the humility of absolute surrender. And the predictable outcome if we hold onto our playing God with our own lives will be a slip or full relapse. How do I "take" my Third? "... (I)t is better to meet God alone than with one" other person, according to the Big Book because of the intensely personal and private relationship we have with the God of our understanding. Today, I do not take for granted the immense importance of Step Three and ask if I have humbled myself completely to seek my higher power's will instead of mine. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M. ************************************************** ~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~ WINNING ATTITUDE If I should lose, let me stand by the road and cheer as the winners go by. ~ Berton Bradley ~ If we are to be among the winners in the recovery from addiction and obsession, we must maintain the attitude of success. Winners in any 12 Step Program take fearless inventories, correct shortcomings, and willingly make amends. By taking charge of ourselves in this manner, we neither blame or credit others or events. With confidence and willingness, we hold ourselves responsible for our lives. We take responsibility for our pre-Program faults and conduct. We can then count ourselves among those who, with the help of our Higher Power, can control compulsive and excessive behaviour. But we don’t do it with pride. We do it with humility and gratitude. I will begin to lose hold of a winning attitude if I choose to leave spiritual growth to chance. I must make life happen, not let it happen to me. ************************************************** ~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~ Working so hard for the rewards we want, we miss the gifts, already present, that God wants to give us. ~ Anonymous ~ We cannot win many of the good things in life; we can only receive them. It is like falling asleep. No one can will himself to sleep. If we could, there would be no such thing as a sleepless night. The harder we try, the more awake we become. We can only allow ourselves to fall asleep. We cannot create a sunny day or a beautiful sight in nature, but we can block them from our awareness. We cannot fall in love by force of will, but we can prevent it from happening by our willfulness or busy habits. Our raging appetites and anxious state of mind can drive us willy-nilly in search of satisfaction—while more profound gifts are already in our hands. Many valuable gifts are available only if we stay open to receive them. A wise man grows past our society’s mainstream idea that anything worth having requires hard work. The ultimate truth is that God’s grace provides what we need. Our work is in learning how to let go and be receptive. Today I will open myself to the gifts already in my hands. ************************************************** ~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~ To hear how special and wonderful we are is endlessly enthralling. ~ Gail Sheehy ~ Sometimes we give in to others because we want affirmation. Belonging, however we define it, is important, and letting our own values slip often seems worth it. But there’s a downside to this acquiescence. When we relinquish our integrity, we deny our very selves. And then we doubt our worth. For many of us, knowing we are special has to be learned. Our families may not have conveyed this much-deserved message, so getting it somewhere was superior to getting it nowhere. But now we have the opportunity to seek affirmation from all the right sources. Coming to believe that our Higher Power considers us wonderful just as we are requires that we dispel our more critical, though comfortable, self- assessment. This is the first step in finding the acceptance we’ve always longed for. I will remind myself that God makes no junk each time I doubt my value to those around me. ************************************************** ~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~ I didn’t cause them and I can’t cure them I used to feel frustrated and disappointed with myself after having symptoms of my psychiatric disorder. Sometimes I got drunk to take the edge off the symptoms. But when I woke up with a hangover, I felt guilty and ashamed. I felt as though I had had given up some control. I still experience some of these feelings at times, but since I stopped drinking, my life feels more manageable. Learning about my dual disorder has also helped. While these two biological illnesses are not my fault, I am responsible for dealing with them: (a) I need to stay clean and sober; (b) I need to take my medication as prescribed by my psychiatrist; and (c) I need to attend a support group for my psychiatric issues and a Twelve Step group for my addiction. If I do these things, I will be taking good care of myself in dual recovery. Today I will ask my higher power for self-acceptance and my psychiatrist for information about my illnesses. ************************************************* ~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~ There is no end to the width of God’s shoulders. ~ Bob Blaire ~ There is a story about a wise woman listening to the woes of a friend. The friend sadly reported her problems on the road to recovery and how stuck she usually felt. After an hour of listening to negativity, the wise woman said, “Remember, God hasn’t quit His job.” When we tackle all of life’s problems by ourselves, we quickly tire and get frustrated. We can usually measure our level of trust in our Higher Power by our physical and emotional condition. The more trouble we try to carry and fix ourselves, the more exhausted and frustrated we feel. It is difficult to learn to trust Him enough to let Him help carry the load. But when we finally let go and turn over a problem, the clouds seem to open and the sun of hope shines on us again. And though it’s not something we learn to do all at once, in time we can see our slow and steady progress and feel our growing serenity and confidence. Today let me trust my Higher Tower enough to share my burden. Let me turn one thing over. ************************************************** ~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~ One sits uncomfortably on a too comfortable cushion. ~ Lillian Heilman ~ After a long period of spring rain that keeps you indoors, you yearn for sunshine and fresh air, to be doing something other than sitting around the house. You want change. After several hours spent in front of the computer or the television, you are eager to do something different. You want change. After eating the same leftovers for three days, you want to eat something different. You want change. Staying in one place for too long deprives you of challenges and new adventures. Change provides welcome relief from monotony. But add too much change, and you can become overwhelmed. That is why it is important to seek a balance in the changes you are making. With balance, you can experience both times of monotony as well as times of challenge and activity. What you change and when you change is within your control. To ensure balance, remember that change is not accomplished in one day, but over an extended period of time. Consider ways in which you can devote time to making changes and times when you take a break so you can start anew. Welcome the changes you need to make and remember that without them, your life would be stagnant. I welcome change but do not let it overrun my life. ************************************************** ~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~ My father taught me that a bill is like a crying baby and must be attended to at once. ~ Anne Morrow Lindbergh ~ In the past, we may have faced our bills with denial or justification that we needed the things we had purchased. We may have abused credit cards so much that we are still paying for items we purchased months or years ago. And we may have problems today with spending more than we earn. Many times material wants are based on emotional needs we don’t know how to satisfy. In the past we may have thought we could ease our pains and troubles by buying new clothes or a bigger stereo. Our emotional needs are still screaming for attention and it may be difficult to stop using material purchases as pacifiers. Like the recovering alcoholic who avoids a drink, we must disregard temptations of credit cards, extravagant purchases, and borrowing. Material things provide only a temporary reprieve, they will not take away our emotions. Emotions can only be eased by things money can’t buy: time, love, faith, and understanding. I don't need to buy anything to take away my feelings. I can attend to my feelings with the tools of the program. ************************************************** ~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~ Expressing love Now that we’ve hit bottom and are starting over, clean and sober, we can finally see that without a Higher Power, without love, we are powerless. It’s what we’ve been seeking for ages—and it’s been here all along; we just couldn’t see it. We need a Higher Power. We need love. It is the answer to our problems; it can change everything. (But we have so much trouble with it!) We’re afraid of love, and we fail to give the love we have to give. Yet every expression of love is sacred, nurturing. Am I expressing my love? Higher Power, help me to see my best self, to express it, and to see the best in others. I will express the love within me today by God help me to stay clean and sober today! ************************************************** ~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~ Nobuddy ever fergits where he buried a hatchet. ~ KIN HUBBARD ~ Newcomer There’s someone close to me who was always after me to quit my addictive behavior. Now that I’m in recovery, he’s angry at me all the time. Is this what I deserve for recovering? Sponsor The people who were in our lives when we were active in our addictions had much to be angry about. The damage we did was real. We were present physically, but we weren’t functioning fully. Many of us were self-centered and emotionally absent. Whether as partners or friends, parents or children, employees or employers, we couldn’t be depended on. People around us learned not to count on us in certain ways, and those who didn’t reject us may have enabled our addictions by making excuses for us, rationalizing to themselves about our inadequacies, and shouldering more than their share of mutual responsibilities. Now that we’re safely in recovery, the truth of what they’ve had to put up with may be more painfully obvious to them than before. The anger and hurt they’ve been keeping inside all this time may come spilling out of them. Understanding that our addictive behavior has had an impact on others is a crucial part of our recovery. They have their own healing process to go through. We can’t hurry it or make it happen. Today, I practice patience and compassion for all those who have been affected by my addiction. ************************************************** ~ THE EYE OPENER ~ The reformed drunkard has simply corrected his former drinking abuses. With this single exception he is the same man with the same defects of character that marked his life in his drinking days. In contrast, the real AA has experienced a revolutionary moral change. He has put the operation of his life into the care and under the direction of the God of his understanding. Not only has he corrected his drinking abuses but he has turned his entire life over to the care of Him who is the source of, and indeed is, Good. ************************************************** ~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~ HAPPINESS Happiness is not a matter of good fortune or worldly possessions. It’s a mental attitude. It comes from appreciating what we have, instead of being miserable about what we don’t have. It’s so simple−yet so difficult for the human mind to comprehend. ************************************************* ~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~ NO VENGEANCE “Hatred ceases not with hatred,” said the Light of Asia, enunciating this great cosmic truth many centuries earlier, and the Light of the World put in the forefront of his teaching because it is the cornerstone of man’s salvation. This doctrine of “resist not evil” is the great metaphysical secret. To the world it sounds like moral suicide, the feeblest surrender to aggression; but in the light of the Jesus Christ revelation it is seen to be superb spiritual strategy. Antagonize any situation, and you give it power against yourself; offer mental non-resistance, and it crumbles away in front of you. Jesus gives no instructions for details of external conflict, and so the references here to suing at law, to coat and cloak, to lending and borrowing, to turning the other cheek, are illustrative and symbolical of mental states, and are not to be taken in the narrow literal sense. We cannot to often remind ourselves that if the thought is right, the deed cannot be wrong. No teacher could ever say that a given act must necessarily be right at any time, because the play of circumstances in human life is too hopelessly complicated for any such prediction. If, when someone is behaving badly, you will imediatelly switch your attention from the human to the Divine, and concentrate upon God, or upon the real spiritual self of the person in question, you will find that his conduct will immediately change. This is the true revenge. Delay beloved, avenge not yourselves . . . for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord (Romans 12:19) ************************************************** ~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~ Swimming Naked Few is the number of those who think with their own minds and feel with their own hearts. ~ Albert Einstein ~ One day a friend and I set out to swim au naturel in the mountain pools near my home. Soon after we arrived, a few people showed up. I should probably put my bathing suit on, I thought. These people may find my nudity offensive. Then I thought, But I was here first. Besides, most people swim naked here. I’ll just carry on as I am and trust that everyone will be fine. A short time later, a family showed up. Now I should really put my suit on, I thought. But we were here first, I remembered. Kids usually go naked anyway. I’ll just trust that everyone will be okay with it. Half an hour later, a tour group arrived. Off the mini-van the Japanese poured, camcorders rolling. Now I really better get dressed, I figured. By this time, however, I was enjoying myself immensely. If they don’t like it, that’s their problem, I reasoned. Besides, I was here first. So went the day. Everyone else wore swimsuits, but they seemed fine with us being naked, and we all enjoyed ourselves. When we finally left, I felt a deep sense of peace. Do you have the courage to swim naked even when others are wearing their suits? I am not referring to being physically naked; it is infinitely more important to be spiritually naked—to be who you are, whatever you are, where you are, and to act from a sense of inner vitality rather than social accommodation. Give me the courage to be what I am. In the presence of Your love, I have nothing to hide and everything to celebrate. Who and what I am is enough. ***** The Eye Opener The reformed drunkard has simply corrected his former drinking abuses. With this single exception, he is the same man with the same defects of character that marked his life in his drinking day. In contrast, the real AA has experienced a revolutionary moral change. He has put the operation of his life into the care and under the direction of the God of his understanding. Not only has he corrected his drinking abuses, but he has turned his entire life over to the care of Him who is the source of, and indeed is, Good. ***** Around the Year with Emmet Fox No Vengeance “Hatred ceases not with hatred,” said the Light of Asia, enunciating this great cosmic truth many centuries earlier, and the Light of the World put it in the forefront of his teaching because it is the cornerstone of man’s salvation. This doctrine of “resist not evil” is the great metaphysical secret. To the world it sounds like moral suicide, the feeblest surrender to aggression; but in the light of the Jesus Christ revelation it is seen to be superb spiritual strategy. Antagonize any situation, and you give it power against yourself; offer mental nonresistance, and it crumbles away in front of you. Jesus gives no instructions for details of external conduct, and so the references here to suing at law, to coat and cloak, to lending and borrowing, to turning the other cheek, are illustrative and symbolical of mental states, and are not to be taken in the narrow literal sense. We cannot too often remind ourselves that if the thought is right, the deed cannot be wrong. No teacher could ever say that a given act must necessarily be right at any time, because the play of circumstances in human life is too hopelessly complicated for any such prediction. If, when someone is behaving badly, you will immediately switch your attention from the human to the Divine, and concentrate upon God, or upon the real spiritual self of the person in question, you will find that his conduct will immediately change. This is the true revenge. Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves . . . for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord (Romans 12:19) |
May 5
Step by Step " ...our problems were of our own making. Bottles were only a symbol." - Alcoholics Anonymous, Third Edition, 1976, p 103 Today, accept that I and I alone am responsible for my problems, that I and I alone am responsible for being an alcoholic and that I and I alone can identify and correct the "symbol" on which my addiction is based. If I lost a job, spouse or partner because of drinking and I continued drinking or began to drink to "cope" with resentment or a sense of loss, the problem is my handling of those feelings, not the situations themselves. Anger and resentment, then, are the "symbol" of my defective character, and it is that defect which I must identify in my Fourth and hand over to my higher power in the Sixth and Seventh steps. Something must replace the void when anger and resentment are relinquished, however, and the service edict of the 12th Step - carrying the message to other alcoholics - suffices in turning my attention from myself to others who need and want the message. Today, I accept that I am responsible for my problems and that I and I alone am responsible to their consequences. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M. ************************************************** ~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~ A WAY OF LIFE The 12 Step way of life is meant to be bread for daily living, not cake for special occasions. ~ Anonymous ~ The glow of early recovery usually wears off after a little while. The pink cloud of “wow, this is the greatest thing I have ever run into” subsides after time in the Program. We are called to action at some point. There is much work ahead of us in recovery. This is not the kind of work that can be crammed into a couple of weekend follow-ups. The Fellowship is a way of life. When we checked the last time, live was still lived one day at a time. Recovery is a bond we make with ourselves, before God, for the rest of our lives. We are reminded, “them which stops going to meetings are not present at meetings to hear what happens to them which stops going to meetings!” I may have begun recovery to get the “heat” off my back, but I have learned the Program is a way of life for the rest of my life. ************************************************** ~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~ Don’t brood on what’s past, but never forget it either. ~ Thomas H. Raddall ~ When we make big changes in our lives for the better, as we have all done, we naturally grieve the time we lost by not learning our lessons sooner. There’s no way to avoid that grief, but there’s no point in dwelling on it. Some of us get hooked by feelings of regret. We brood over the ways we let others down, and we wish we could relive certain events and do better with them this time. It is important for us all to release the past—let it go. Our life is now. If we spend our conscious moments living in the past and regretting our mistakes, we never get on with living a good life in the present. A truly humble man accepts the forgiveness of others and the forgiveness of his Higher Power. He accepts the universal truth that we are all broken in some ways, and our self-acceptance isn’t based upon what we did or didn’t do in the past, but on how we live today. Today I look back at where I have come from and feel grateful for a new life. ************************************************** ~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~ My daily choice is to rise and shine or rise and whine. ~ Anonymous ~ Complaining about every detail of our lives seems so natural. We always have a preconception about what “should be.” Then, of course, “what is” is never quite right. But it is possible to change this pattern of thinking. Contrary to what we may have believed up until now, this pattern is made by us. It doesn’t happen to us. At first it may seem overwhelming to try to change a behavior that is so rooted in who we are. And we’ll continue the pattern many times every day, for weeks, maybe months, before we break it. But the point is that we can change. Every time we decide to respond positively to a situation, we succeed. Time, patience, and practice will make new habits old ones. Willingness to try again every time we fail will prove this to us. I will not whine today. If I start, I’ll stop myself and say something positive instead. ************************************************** ~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~ I am forgiving myself Without the understanding and strength I gained doing the first three Steps, I couldn’t have begun to work Step Four. Here, I start to look at the people I have hurt−myself among them− and the damage I have done. It is a difficult process that I wish I could put off. But I cannot. Sometimes I feel badly about myself during this “fearless and searching” review. But it will help if I work on Step Four a little at a time and remind myself that what I am doing in the program is the best thing I have ever done for myself (or others). I am changing, growing, recovering. Knowing that I’m doing what I need to do and feeling better gives me strength for my Fourth Step inventory. I will work a little on Step Four today and write out an affirmation that reads, “I am learning to accept and forgive myself.” ************************************************* ~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~ You should go to a pear tree for pears, not an elm. ~ Publilius Syrus ~ Before, our social life probably revolved around people and places where alcohol and drugs were available. Now, some days can be full of conflict until we find a new life where temptation isn’t a problem. It does no good to waste time wishing we could be with old friends and enjoy that old excitement. We gave in to temptation many times before, and the results were always the same. No matter how serene we feel, chances are a time will come when we’re just too discouraged, too depressed, or too disgusted to fight the urge to have “just one more” binge. We may recover from that relapse — but we may not. So for us, there is only one choice. Once we make that choice, a whole new world is waiting for us, with things we never dreamed we could be part of. Every city in the country has free or low-cost places to visit, things to do. Old hobbies and interests we gave up years ago seem interesting again. People are waiting out there for us, too. Once we thought everybody was living in chaos just like us. Now we know the world is full of clean and sober people just waiting for us to join them. Today help me look for the good things in life. Help me stay open to new possibilities. ************************************************** ~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~ Confusion is a word we have invented for an order which is not understood. ~ Henry Miller ~ Recovery is a process of gaining better understanding of the truth about your addiction and how it affected your life and the lives of others, the truth about how the tools of the program work, and the truth that arises from gaining greater knowledge and understanding. You may find that many things in the past that you once accepted as truth are now untrue, such as lies you told yourself or things that were covered up by others. Sometimes it may seem that you are trying to re-learn so many things that it is easy to become confused and overwhelmed, and to feel a bit lost. It is easy to lose your way as you follow the path to recovery. It is not unusual to feel frightened and alone. At such times, others in the program will be there for you. They will pay attention to your confusion and be honest with you. Your Higher Power will also listen to you and guide you toward the truth. All you need to do is ask for guidance from others and pray for God’s guidance, and you will find the truth. When I feel lost, the truth of others, the truth of the program, and the truth of my Higher Power will lead me back to safety. ************************************************** ~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~ You would do well to budget your time as follows: one-half in work, taking care of personal belongings, etc.; one-fourth in social pastimes with others, both young and old; and one-fourth as an interested, pleased observer of life. ~ William B. Terhune ~ Every life needs a balance of work, play, and rest. When we're not at work, we need to pursue other interests like hobbies, socializing, going to movies. When we're not at work and not pursuing an interest, we need to rest. Resting doesn't mean just sleeping. Resting is also meditating, listening to relaxing music, or watching the birds at our bird feeders. Our financial budget tells us where our money is spent. Our time budget can do the same thing. By noticing where we spend most of our time, we can make sure all our time isn’t spent doing just work, just play, or just rest. I can look at my time budget and ask: “Where haven't I spent any time lately?" I need to use my time doing something l haven't done to balance my budget. ************************************************** ~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~ Acknowledging addiction’s power We talk about mood-altering chemicals as cunning, baffling, and powerful. And it’s true—there are many subtle, sly ways in which we set ourselves up to use again. For example, if we preferred one drug, we might try to convince ourselves that it was okay to use a different one. Or, we might say, “Well, I just didn’t know it was so dangerous.” Some of us just keep hanging around our using “friends.” We may use many tricky, deceitful plans on ourselves in order to go back to using, even though we know these behaviors are dangerous. Even though we know that by setting ourselves up time and again we will only succeed in destroying our program. Have I stopped setting myself up? Higher Power, look out for me when I’m not capable of doing so. Today I will remind myself of addiction’s power by God help me to stay clean and sober today! ************************************************** ~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~ No one's career plans include becoming an addict.... ~ JEFFREY SKINNER ~ Newcomer I had a haircut today. The hairdresser had just come back from Holland, where certain drugs are legal, and he talked about “space cakes”—cakes filled with marijuana and hashish—that he’d eaten on the plane instead of drinking. I said that I didn’t drink any more, and that the thought of flying made me anxious. He said, “Well, you can have a Valium, can’t you?” I just nodded. For a moment, it seemed reasonable. Sponsor Watching people use, or listening to them refer casually to drugs or behavior that for us is poison, can be disturbing. We may envy these people. We may try to explain ourselves to them. We may mistakenly try to save them, even when they haven’t shown any signs of identifying their behavior or substance use as a problem of addiction. We can save ourselves a lot of trouble by not trying to diagnose other people’s problems. We can share stories about encounters like yours in a meeting, where everyone will laugh with recognition. Above all, we can remember, as you did, that there is no room in a life of recovery for any sort of self-prescribed mood changer. Today, I live and let live. I respect my recovery and don’t have to explain or justify it to anyone. ************************************************** ~ THE EYE OPENER ~ When we emerge from under our tons of troubles, get back on our feet and begin to live like other folks again, we somehow feel that the world has become a better place and that when our troubles vanished, all troubles vanished and there were few, if any, left in the world. The store of world troubles is as great now as ever—only different people are having them. If you have no troubles of your own go out and find somebody else’s. They are not half so hard to carry and your heart and soul need the exercise. ************************************************** ~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~ MY BILL OF RIGHTS I have the right to be treated with respect. I have the right to say no and not feel guilty. I have the right to experience and express my feelings. I have the right to take time for myself. I have the right to change my mind. I have the right to ask for what I want. I have the right to ask for information. I have the right to make mistakes. I have the right to less than I am humanly capable of. I have the right to feel good about myself. I have the right to act only in ways that promote my dignity and self-respect as long as others are not violated in the process. ************************************************* ~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~ DISSIPATING EVIL If somebody comes into the room at home, or into the office or shop, looking as if he meant to make trouble, just try switching your attention straight to the Divine, instead of squaring up aggressively to meet the difficulty or shrinking away to avoid it, according to your temperament. You will be amused and gratified to see the anger fade from the subject’s face (which will mean it has faded from his heart too) and quite a different expression take its place. I have myself seen several cases where men, and on two occasions, children, were actually fighting, and upon a spectator’s “turning the cheek” the strife ceased like magic. Animals respond even more easily to this treatment than do human beings. I have seen two instances where dogs were fighting savagely and all efforts to separate them had failed, when the realization of the Presence of God’s love in all His creatures restored peace. In one case it took several minutes’ work; in the other it was practically instantaneous. Be not overcome of evil, but overcome evil with good (Romans 12:21). ************************************************** ~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~ Gambling for God Do as the heavens have done, forget your evil. ~ from A Winter’s Tale, by William Shakespeare ~ A man knocked feverishly on the rabbi’s door one morning. “Rabbi, I came to tell you that Shlomo, Samuel, and Ben were up all night gambling!” “Wonderful!” exclaimed the rabbi. Shocked, the man complained, “How can you say that? It is against the laws of our religion to gamble!” “I know,” answered the sage, “but these men are finding the energy to stay awake to do something they love. When their hearts turn to love the Lord, they will have the ability to stay up all night to serve God.” We cannot judge or condemn another person’s act because we do not know how it fits into the bigger picture of their life or the lives of those they touch. At any given moment, we see only a tiny sliver of a huge jigsaw puzzle that only makes sense on a level that is broader than any human being can understand. Ultimately, every experience contributes to spiritual awakening. The Holy Spirit sees only love, and when we lift our vision, we behold a miraculous universe. Help me to see all persons and events in the loving light of spiritual perception. My eyes are God's eyes. I exchange judgment for compassion and look upon a forgiven world. |
May 6
Step by Step "Those who do not recover are people who cannot or will not completely give themselves to this simple program, usually men and women who are constitutionally incapable of being honest with themselves." - Alcoholics Anonymous, Ch 5, Third Edition, 1976, p 58. Today, should I feel insecure and tempted to drink and repeated slip or relapse, I have to ask if I am one of those who is "constitutionally incapable" of being honest with myself. If I am, I need to ask if I have rejected the program's first four words:"Admitted (I am) powerless ..." And if I have not taken Step One, the question is simple: do I want to drink more than I don't want to drink. But if I am as honest as I can in trying to get with the program but still struggle, maybe I am not doing it "One Day at a Time" and thinking in terms of the rest of my life without drinking. The "cure" to that line of thought is simple: today is all any of us has with no guarantee of a tomorrow. I need only to think of the rest of my life as today. And I ask today, if I am constitutionally capable of honesty - first with myself. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M. ************************************************** ~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~ PURPOSE IN LIFE The reward of a thing well done is to have done it. ~ Emerson ~ The same miracle that started our recovery from addiction gave us a chance for a second life. It also brought us a purpose in life. This was something we had lacked for years. This purpose for our life makes it possible to achieve a state of happiness and peace of mind. This purpose is to help others. Unless our hearts are filled with the principles of our new way of life, we are not doing our best. The spiritual growth that comes from pursuing a purpose in life makes each day a joy for us and makes our existence worthwhile. Long-timers remind us, “Be as enthusiastic about your recovery as you were about your addiction.” I never want to say, “This I must do.” I want to say, “This I want to do.” Serving a purpose in life is only a small repayment for the gift of recovery. ************************************************** ~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~ Memory is the diary we all carry about with us. ~ Oscar Wilde ~ Our memories create the substance of our identity. People who lose their memory lose any sense of who they are. Some of us have memories of painful events in our childhood, or of traumas that changed our image of ourselves. Those of us who were abused by parents have to learn in adulthood to fill those gaps by becoming good parents to ourselves. Some of us have become trapped at a younger stage of development by painful memories. Now, it is essential to our healing that we not perpetuate our own abuse. We have to learn to include ourselves in the human family. No matter what we experienced, no matter what we feel, it is all part of what it means to be human. We can heal our memories, not by changing them, but by making peace with them so we are free to live in the present. A man can imagine the little boy he once was— and imagine taking that youngster on his lap and promising him that he will take care of him and keep him safe. Today I will be a good parent to myself and treat myself with love and respect ************************************************** ~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~ Seeking strength from others prevents us from finding our own strength. ~ Georgette Vickstrom ~ The principles of this program, the friends we have made here, sponsors, and the contact we have with an ever-available Higher Power afford us valuable strength. However, it’s important that we develop our own strength to complement what we look for in others. Using the tools acquired in this program is a good beginning for cultivating personal strength. It’s like growing a garden. We need to tend it daily, nurturing it, discarding the unproductive behaviors like weeds. When we do, we’ll discover that the seedlings we’re planting at every meeting are taking root and developing blossoms that signal positive growth. I will be painstaking in nurturing my growth today. My strength will be there when I need it. ************************************************** ~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~ I now know how treatment has helped I didn’t want to be in treatment. I was afraid to have to work on both my addiction and emotional illnesses. I didn’t think it would help. I didn’t know anybody and everybody looked strange to me. For the first few days, I tried to get out and go home (such as it was). But once I settled down a little, I could see that being away from my daily routine was helpful. I relaxed a little and got to where I could concentrate better. I got to a place where I felt much less tempted to use and was taking my medication regularly. The best part, however, was that I started meeting people who tried to understand me. All this has helped. Today I will remember two things I learned in treatment that have helped. ************************************************* ~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~ ...if they dare not forgive, what becomes of harmony? ~ Fedor Mikhailovich Dostoevski ~ We may think we’re being noble when we refuse to forgive ourselves for things we did in the past, but this false humility is often another form of denial. If we truly accept that addiction is a disease we did not ask for, then we are willing to forgive ourselves. If we still think it’s a matter of willpower and strength of character, then of course we won’t forgive ourselves for not being strong enough or smart enough. And if we don’t think well enough of ourselves to forgive, how will we treat others? Accepting our human limitations is a major step in recovery. Now we don’t expect ourselves to be all-powerful. We’ve surrendered to powerlessness and come to believe our Higher Power will help us. We don’t have to do it all alone, and we don’t have to be perfect. Now we can accept, forgive, and love ourselves with our faults. We can find harmony. Today I recognize I have a disease. Help me accept my powerlessness. ************************************************** ~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~ But buds will be roses, and kittens, cats ~ Louisa May Alcott ~ Think of how a tree grows. From a tiny seed it splits the soil, spreads its roots, and begins its skyward climb. Over time, the trunk widens, the bark becomes firm and thick, the branches spread ever outward. Season after season, the tree continues its growth until, years later, a massive tree has formed. You are, in many ways, like a tree. But before you entered the program, you were not a very hardy tree. You were rooted in soil that provided you with little nourishment. You were trying to grow within a forest that deprived you of life-sustaining water and sunshine. Your growth was stunted, and your survival was always in doubt. Recovery, however, has transplanted you to a soil that is rich with nutrients, in a forest with ample room to grow. The illumination is now plentiful so you can grow strong and tall. Your roots are now firmly entrenched in the ground so you can withstand stormy weather. The longer you are in recovery, the deeper your roots will be. You now are part of a forest of fellowship that encourages the growth of one so that all may grow together. The love and nourishment given by those in the program encourages my growth and strengthens me. ************************************************** ~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~ It has never been, and never will be, easy work! But the road that is built in hope is more pleasant to the traveler than the road built in despair, even though they both lead to the same destination. ~ Marian Zimmer Bradley ~ Think for a moment about a city nearby. Now picture the many roads that lead to that city. One may be a winding road. One may be an expressway. No matter which one is taken, it will still reach the same destination. But what will matter is how pleasant the journey is along the way. Before we entered the program, we probably traveled on the road marked despair. We didn't know there were other roads for our journey. But the program has taught us there are many roads to recovery: strength, hope, peace, happiness, caring, and love. As long as we keep recovery as our destination, we may choose to travel any road of the program we like. If we've traveled today on the road called despair, we can change our road tonight to one of hope. As long as the program is our destination, we need not worry about losing our way. Which road will I travel tonight? Where will this road lead me? ************************************************** ~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~ Being humble We are always simply servants of our groups, not presidents or authorities. We all take turns doing God’s work. If we take on more than we can handle, chances are we’ll feel martyred or we’ll simply drop out. But this is not common when we share ourselves in the true spirit of service. If we act in the true spirit of humility, cleaning up or putting up chairs will never be too low a task for us, and being a committee member will never be too exalted. Am I developing humility? Higher Power, help me to see how I might serve my group today in whatever capacity. Today I will practice humility in serving my brothers and sisters by God help me to stay clean and sober today! ************************************************** ~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~ Popularity is a Siren singing on a rock. ~ ANTHONY BURGESS ~ Newcomer There’s someone who’s kind of a “star” at one of my regular meetings. Everyone seems to look up to him and love him. To me, he sounds stern and critical. Sometimes I don’t raise my hand, thinking he’d disapprove of what I’d say. Sponsor “Principles before personalities” is a slogan that reminds me not to cultivate an attitude of worship toward any person in this fellowship. “Stars” are just other people in recovery, like us. No one person has all the answers. There are old- timers whose experience, love for the program, honesty, and humility are precious gifts. Newcomers, too, can add to what we learn about our addictions. We don’t go to meetings to judge others, but to listen for what speaks to us and furthers our recovery. Like you, I’ve sometimes fallen under the spell of a high-profile personality. Why invest one person with so much power? Why let one person’s approval be so important here, of all places, where we can experience unconditional love? Why even assume that he or she has an opinion of us? In recovery, we have the chance to get to know ourselves. Making a Higher Power out of another recovering person is an obstacle, not an aid, in this process. Today, I focus on principles before personalities. ************************************************** ~ THE EYE OPENER ~ AA is the outgrowth of a long period of experimentation. It is true that two men conceived the idea but it was only incorporated into a working plan after pooling the experiences of a hundred more. The “Big Book” is a collection of ideas and experiences. There is no one in AA who can say “I, and I alone, conceived the idea in its entirety, I, and I alone organized it; I, and I alone control it.” No man—with all due appreciation to the founders—developed AA, for AA is a program of growth; it has grown from the day of its inception and is still in the process of growth and development. We move onward and upward, side by side and hand in hand, helping and sustaining one another. This way we will advance, but when someone begins to control and command, deserters will outnumber recruits. ************************************************** ~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~ WALK WITH ME Don’t walk in front of me . . . I may not follow. Don’t walk behind me . . . I may not lead. Just walk beside me and be my friend. ************************************************* ~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~ THE TRIUMPH OF LOVE Read Matthew 5:43−47. But I said unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hare you, and pray for them that despitefully use you, and persecute you; That ye may be the children of your Father which is in heaven . . . (Matthew 5:44−45) Right reaction is the supreme art of life, and Jesus compressed the secret of that art into a sentence when he said: Resist not evil. A correct understanding of this commandment will regenerate your body, liberate your soul, and remake your life. Love is God and is therefore absolutely all-powerful. Meeting hatred with Love is the perfect method of self-defense in all circumstances. It renders you absolutely invulnerable to any kind of attack. If you received bad news, if you are unhappy in your work, or in your home, feel out mentally for the Presence of divine Spirit, all around you; affirm its actuality; and claim that God has dominion over all conditions, and you will soon be free. And this commandment have we from him, That he who loveth God love his brother also (1 John 4:21). ************************************************** ~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~ What Could Be So Important? Make not treasures on earth, where moth and rust corrupt and thieves break in and steal. Find your treasures in heaven. Wherever a man’s treasures are, there will be his heart. ~ Jesus Christ ~ When I travel, I carry a black briefcase that contains all of my important materials, including a computer, airline tickets, checks I have received, and an address book. Because these items are so vital, I keep the briefcase with me almost all the time. Before delivering a lecture one evening, I set the briefcase down next to the stage, and when I looked for it after the talk, it was not there. Suddenly my heart seemed to skip a beat, and I felt a sinking feeling in my chest. My fear that the satchel had been stolen was almost debilitating. When I asked the lecture sponsor if she had seen the briefcase, she answered, “Oh yes, I put it in my office for safekeeping.” While I was relieved that the briefcase was safe, I could not help but notice how I had tied my peace to it. I asked myself, “What in that briefcase could be so important that I would lose the peace of God with it?” I wondered how much the anxiety over protecting the property had cost me in the long run. It was a poor trade. What you possess possesses you. Whenever we value a thing more than happiness, we pay a dear price. Things can be replaced, but peace cannot. Is there anything you value so much that you would lose your happiness if you lost it? Have you succumbed to worshiping at the altar of fear rather than the citadel of trust? What is your black briefcase? The Sufis suggest, “Do not value anything that could be washed overboard from a ship.” When we remember we are here to love, all else becomes secondary. Help me keep You first today. Let me not make any false gods before You. I live to love. I am safe. My heart is at peace. |
May 7
Step by Step " ...(I)t is not surprising that our drinking careers have been characterized by countless vain attempts to prove we could drink like other people. The idea that somehow, someday (we) will control and enjoy (our) drinking is the great obsession of every abnormal drinker. ...Many pursue it into the gates of insanity or death." - Alcoholics Anonymous, Third Edition, 1976, Ch 3, p 30. Today, if I hold onto the illusion that I can keep or resume drinking because of the myths of "controlled drinking" or abstinence for any length of time, I lied to myself when I "admitted (I am) powerless ..." and I am little more than a dry drunk. Also, I learned nothing or denied the cost of my drinking and believe either the outcome of drinking yet to come might be better than it was in the past or that I am above responsibility to the consequences of my drinking. If so, I look today to a higher power for the humility to surrender myself and my will to His and, with His wisdom, find the honesty to work through my self-deception and get on with the program. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M. ***** The Eye Opener We often wonder at the cooperation given us by non-alcoholics wherever AA takes root. A lot of it probably results from a high sense of public spirit; some lend their support because they have no valid reason for opposition; some because of admiration of the fact that we are one organization that hasn't got its hand out continually. We strongly suspect, though, that most of it is due to the fact that the alcoholics, the near-alcoholics and the potential alcoholics represent a pretty fair majority of any community. ***** ~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~ MANDATE FOR PERFECTION Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect (Matthew 5:48). Consider carefully what Jesus is saying. He is commanding us to be perfect, even as God Himself is perfect; and, as we know that Jesus will not command the impossible, he has here given his authority to the doctrine that it is possible for man to become divinely perfect. And, more than this, he is putting it forward as a thing that will have to be actually done. Now, if we really are the children of God, capable of eternal and flawless perfection, there can be no real power in evil, not even in sin, to keep us permanently in bondage. So now let us lose no further time commencing our upward march. Let us now−at this very moment, if we have not already done so−rise up, like the prodigal son amid the husks of materiality and limitation, and cry, with all confidence in the teaching and Promises of Jesus: I will arise and go to my father (Luke 15:18). ************************************************** ~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~ PRAYER Who comes from prayer a better man, his prayer is answered. ~ George Meredith ~ We learn that prayer is only a wish away. When we wished for recovery more than anything in the world, we found it. Thus our wishes became our prayers.. It was that simple. We discover in recovery that prayer is best when it is a conversation with a Higher Power. It isn’t just a one-way speech where we tell God what we expect to have happen. It isn’t a time to try to bargain with God. We listen as well as ask. Then meditation joins with prayer. When life beats us to our knees, our only recourse is to stay on our knees and start praying. When my prayers aren’t answered right away, that doesn’t mean that God is denying them. The answers will come in God’s time, not mine. The answers will be God’s answers, not mine. ************************************************** ~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~ Everything becomes a little different as soon as it is spoken out loud. ~ Hermann Hesse ~ Central to our healing and recovery is telling our story and hearing the stories others have to tell. Something changes when we first speak out loud to another per-son to tell what we were like, what we have experienced, and what we feel now. Most people feel great relief when they say what they have on their minds. Often we don’t fully know what we feel or think until we put it into words. The telling of it to an attentive listener bridges the gap between us. Putting our stories into words gives them a form they didn’t have before and gives us handles to begin to deal with our experience. When we tell the story of our pain, our mistakes, and our triumphs, the words are the symbols that allow us to let go and move on. Today I will talk to someone about my experience, describing either a small feeling or a big one. ************************************************** ~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~ We all carry within us a very wise person, the little child. To hear her call, to question her wants, is to affirm her wisdom, to deepen our roots. ~ Margo Casey ~ Our inner child is helping us grow, understand, and heal. She has walked with us always, though we may not have been aware of her presence. She will be with us forever, even when we fail to remember her presence. Calling on her, we can gain the confidence and insight we need to perform today’s tasks and fulfill our dreams for tomorrow. How lucky we are to have learned of the presence of our inner child. In years past when our struggles overwhelmed us, she was there, but we didn’t know how to reach her, how to listen to her. Now we do, and our lives reflect our growing wisdom. They reflect our reliance on her voice, which blends with the voice of our Higher Power to become one unified guide. We will never again suffer the struggles that tormented our past if we stay open to the spirit-filled message that is always just a quiet moment away. Going within will assure us serenity. I will turn to my inner voice today and know that all will be well if I follow the guidance she offers. ************************************************** ~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~ I can make it through the pain I can’t relax. I feel sad and I’m angry at myself. It’s hard to concentrate, especially at work. Sometimes my mind goes blank. I keep forgetting things. My friends tell me that such emotions are not uncommon in dual disorder recovery. (I thought I was the only one who had ever felt that way.) Quitting an addiction and starting therapy for emotional problems are powerful changes. It’s reassuring when they say that I am not “crazy” (I just feel like it) and that in a couple of weeks the medication I started will help me settle down (although I would prefer the pain to go away now). I am grateful to my friends especially because they keep telling me, “You can get through the pain.” Yes, I can get through the pain. I will take two walks today and jot down two activities I can do with my hands. ************************************************* ~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~ How long does it take before you want to go to meetings? ~ A newcomer ~ Often, we don’t feel like a meeting. After working all day, we’re tired, and going to a meeting sometimes seems like too much trouble. We have to force our feet to move. But we go, and every single time, something magic happens. We feel loved, we feel we belong, we feel that the world is a wonderful place and we’re part of it. Other people talk, telling us their hardest secrets. We may talk, and tell them our secrets, and our burden lifts; we’re free again. We’re part of the love that fills the room, sharing our struggle and serenity with others as they share theirs with us. We are not alone, and we can be grateful for all the reminders we have of this. Whenever we need to listen or talk, whenever we need to feel accepted or loved, whenever we need to share our joy, there is a meeting waiting for us. Now we have the choice of life or death, and we can keep that freedom to choose by choosing life. Today let me choose life even if I’m tired or afraid. ************************************************** ~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~ The weak in courage is strong in cunning. ~ William Blake ~ At times you may feel that recovery is so hard that you just want to give it a rest. You want to say, “I am over and done with it.” You may convince yourself that because you are doing so well—after all, you have not engaged in your habit for a while—you are now safe. Or perhaps you have practically memorized the Big Book or heard the slogans and said the Serenity Prayer so many times that you think, “Yes, I have it. I get it.” And so you may stop going to meetings or doing the work you need to do. But just because you have stopped your habit does not mean you are “cured.” Just because you think you know everything there is to know in recovery does not signify completion. To think anything different is to practice self-deception. It is denying that your recovery is a lifelong, daily commitment. Your recovery today can only be done today. You always have the option to return to your former life, but to make that choice means you risk losing everything you have gained. So resolve that, just for today, you will continue to persevere on your road to recovery. Just for today, I will continue to do the work of my recovery. ************************************************** ~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~ Don't waste your time striving for perfection; Instead strive for excellence−doing your best. ~ Sir Laurence Olivier ~ We've all heard that even the most beautiful rose has is thorns. But as that rose was growing, the gardener didn't waste time trying to snip off the thorns. Instead, by using the right combination of sunshine, water, and nutrients, the gardener knew the rose would grow healthy and strong. We are both the rose and the gardener. We are beautiful, yet we have our thorns−our defects of character. We may have seen some of those thorns showing today. But as gardeners we have some very special tools for our growth: the program, the Twelve Steps, the slogans, and the fellowship. By using these tools, we are assured of healthy growth. We will always have our thorns. But we can still be beautiful as long as we tend to ourselves with patience, love, and the proper tools. Did I try to strive for excellence today? How can I use the program to help my growth? ************************************************** ~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~ Returning to sanity For most of us, staying straight was always very difficult and very serious. Some of us took longer to realize this. The highlight of our insanity was trying to prove that some-how we were different, somehow we could get out of the work that was required, somehow we could find an easier, softer way out than the Twelve Step program. All this trial and error with our lives on the line. Our “insanity” is extreme at times and nothing short of a spiritual awakening. Guidance from our Higher Power can restore us to sanity. Is my insanity behind me? Higher Power, help me learn how to return to sanity. Teach me to live in a drug-free world. I will work my program today by God help me to stay clean and sober today! © 1974, 1998 by Hazelden Foundation ************************************************** ~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~ Who says we’re not living in a time of war. ~ ALI LIEBEGOTT ~ Newcomer Sometimes people in meetings talk about suicide attempts they made when they were active in their addictions. Talking about it at a meeting seems unnecessarily heavy to me—it’s not everyone’s experience. Sponsor The disease that we have is a fatal one, if it’s left untreated. Some of us made suicide attempts in the past. Some of us believe we were never that desperate. But aren’t our active addictions a form of suicide, too? What about the damaging effect on our health, over time, of the substances we consumed? What about the dangerous situations we got ourselves into through impaired judgment? What about the small deaths: the people we shut out through our addictions, the meaningful work or pleasure we denied ourselves, the dreams we deferred? Each day we have the choice of adopting attitudes and taking actions that lead to recovery or to addiction—to life or to death. Today, I'm entrusted with the precious gift of my life. ************************************************** ~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~ IT SHOWS IN YOUR FACE You don’t have to tell how you live each day; You don’t have to say if you work or play; A tired, true barometer serves in the place. However you live, it shows in your face. The falseness, the deceit that you wear in your heart Will not stay inside where it got its start; For sinew and blood is a thin veil of lace. However you live, it shows in your face. If you have battled and won in the game of life, If you feel you’ve conquered the sorrow and strife, If you’ve played the game square and you stand on first base, You don’t have to tell it, it shows on your face. If your life’s been unselfish, for other you live’ And not what you get, but what you can give, And you live close to God, in His infinite Grace, You don’t have to tell it, it shows in your face. ************************************************** ~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~ Make Today Count To enhance the quality of your relationships, imagine this is your last day with whomever you are with. ~ Og Mandino ~ The morning started out like any other. Mrs. Magliano drove her husband John and son Ted to the train station, kissed them goodbye, and wished them a nice day. But the day was not like any other. En route to New York City, a crazed gunman opened up fire on the train car, killing a large number of people including John Magliano, and seriously wounding his son. I saw a television show documenting Ted’s recovery. With the help of loving friends and a positive attitude, he was making a remarkable comeback. I was struck by his mother’s reflections: “My last memory of my husband is kissing him good-bye and telling him, ‘I love you.’ I did that every day for 30 years, and I meant it. It brings my heart peace to know that we parted with a blessing." We never really know if we will see any particular person again. That is why it is important to resolve conflict and bring our relationships into peace and healing without delay. In college I broke up with a girlfriend on bad terms. We avoided each other for a while and then saw each other at a party. “We need to talk,” she told me. We sat down and gently resolved our upset. A year later, I learned that she was killed in an auto accident. I was very glad that we had spoken words of kindness when we did. Make a list of any situations or relationships with which you are out of peace. Pray and ask for guidance about what you can do to heal them. Go about your business of bringing them back into harmony. Then you can enjoy them, yourself, and your life. Spirit of Love, open my heart. Help me to be at peace with all of my relationships. Let me not settle for upset or separation. I want my life to reflect Your love and blessings. I create peace with my loved ones and myself. |
May 8
Step by Step "Resentment is the 'number one' offender. It destroys more alcoholics than anything else." - Alcoholics Anonymous, Third Edition, 1976, Ch 5, p 64 Today, admitting that I may have little success in letting go of all my resentments, I re-examine that character defect to identify what or who I resent - and why. If I resent or envy others who can drink or I cannot accept the rest of my life without drinking, my resentment is likely against alcoholism itself - in which case I have fallen short in admitting I am powerless. I may resent that something stronger than me - alcohol - is what I cannot control. Or I may resent the ex-boss or estranged spouse or partner who will not rehire or come back to me even if I have stopped drinking. But whatever or whoever I resent, I cannot control what controls me, and I will never again drink to "handle it." In the end, if the root of my resentments is grounded in the disease of alcoholism, I need again to fully accept that I have no control over it and, instead of battling addiction, I will embrace being clean and sober. Today, instead of a recovering drunk, I am sober alcoholic. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M. ************************************************** ~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~ EXPECT A MIRACLE Don’t quit five minutes before the miracle happens. ~ Anonymous ~ When we came into the Program, most of us had very little to show for our lives. We believed in nothing. We had experienced great disappointments. The greedy creditor that was our addiction had stripped away everything of meaning to us. We were left with nothing but pain and misery. Now we hear incredible stories of recovery. People tell how, by following certain simple instructions and honestly working a Program, they were freed from the grasp of their addiction. Every once in awhile we hear a story that sounds remarkably like our own. We are told that through the work and help of a Higher Power, we too can receive a miracle. The most important miracle I can expect and count on each day is the freedom from my addiction. I can trust that if I stay close to the Program, the miracle will be repeated, one day at a time. ************************************************** ~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~ Some things have to be believed to be seen. ~ Ralph Hodgson ~ Under the guidance of this recovery program we “came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.” Coming to believe something is a process. It might begin by borrowing someone else’s faith, trying it on as we might try on a shirt. We don’t start with a firm conviction. We don’t grow instantly from no faith to absolute faith. It might begin by seeing that forces are at work beyond our control, easing our terrible cravings or supporting us through the worst times. Sometimes faith develops very slowly, like the first sprout of an acorn in the spring. At our meetings we encounter men who are like mighty oaks, but years ago, they were just beginning to send up tender sprouts. This process certainly takes us beyond what we can explain with rational description. We don’t have to understand it. Today I am grateful for the faith that allows me to see what I could not otherwise see. ************************************************** ~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~ If one is going to be truthful, one has to be very tender. ~ Florida Scott-Maxwell ~ Honesty is always the best policy, right? We glibly recite that saying, but it’s important to reevaluate its meaning when we are eager to correct or direct the actions of other people. If being honest will unnecessarily harm them, perhaps being silent is better. The program is helping us restructure our lives. We discover that many former, automatic responses no longer fit who we desire to be. That means we have to try new, less-practiced behaviors, such as being honest without being harsh or critical. Learning tenderness is possible. With the help of this program and one another, we are learning to express the acceptance and love that have been given to us by our Higher Power. Giving away what we have been given is sharing the truth absolutely. I will not hurt anyone today by any comment. I will truthfully share the love and acceptance I have been given. ************************************************** ~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~ I am letting go of my low mood I feel somewhat better this week. It is hard to describe (and it doesn’t quite make sense), but it feels like I am actually getting tired of being depressed. I feel worn out, as if purged of pain. Even though I still have some symptoms to deal with, I believe that, for the first time, I can see light at the end of the tunnel. I can see that I am less obsessed with my problems. Maybe I can let go of some of this heaviness and darkness. It would be a relief. I will do one fun activity today and wear bright clothes to enhance my spirits. ************************************************* ~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~ A wise man is strong; yea, a man of knowledge increaseth strength. ~ Proverbs 24:5 ~ Relapse so often seems to begin with over-estimating our strengths and underestimating our weaknesses. The seeds of relapse are planted long before the actual event. Addiction is too strong for us; we must work hard to arrest it. If recovery is to become a lifetime experience, it’s our job to learn our limits and avoid things that can frighten, tempt, or bully us into relapse. We can start by learning to recognize areas that are dangerous for us. We can ask ourselves, how solid is our Twelve Step program? Are we going to meetings, or avoiding them? Have we chosen a sponsor? Are we following the recommended Steps of recovery? During active addiction, we couldn’t make sane choices. But, now, every day, we’re getting healthy again, and we can avoid relapse. Asking for help from our Higher Power and Twelve Step group will give us the support and the answers we need. As we grow in recovery, we learn how to build on our strengths, not our weaknesses. One day at a time, we are changing and finding love. Today help me see my behavior clearly, and recognize when I’m in danger. ************************************************** ~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~ There’s folks ’ud stand on their heads and then say the fault was i’ their boots. ~ George Eliot ~ Who do you blame for where you are today? Perhaps you blame your parents because they were addicts and passed on the disease to you. Maybe you blame a family member for giving you your first drink or experience with a drug. Or maybe you blame a friend who encouraged you to toss aside your studies and responsibilities so you could join them in partying or acting out. But when you use your recovery as a time to blame others or to seek a scapegoat to point to for causing your addiction, you are only hurting yourself. Blame serves no useful purpose. It is a set of blinders you put on so you cannot see that your recovery is your responsibility. Recovery is not about blaming, but about fixing. Blaming anything or anyone for your addiction only prolongs your misery and keeps you from focusing on how to achieve a better way of living. Whether it was genes, choice, or circumstances that got you to where you are today, it truly does not matter. You alone are responsible for your recovery. Today I will not play the blame game. I accept that I am an addict and will do the work I need to do so I can be a recovering addict. ************************************************** ~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~ Reach high, for stars lie hidden in your soul. Dream deep, for every dream precedes the goal. ~ Pamela Vaull Starr ~ It has been said that if we tell ourselves what we'd like to dream about before we go to sleep, we can teach ourselves to dream our own dreams. Rather than letting our confusing dreams puzzle us or our nightmares frighten us, we can train our minds to think positive thoughts while we're resting. After a night of positive dreaming, we are more likely to wake up refreshed and ready to continue thinking positively. Tonight we can prepare our dream by visualizing what it will be. We can close our eyes and see ourselves doing whatever we want to do or be whoever we want to be. Immediately alter this visualization, with it fresh in our minds, we can then lie down to sleep with the positive thoughts of the dream in our heads. Such positive thinking is one giant step toward an affirmation of ourselves. What will I dream tonight? I can imagine the most positive thing and let it become a part of my sleeping thoughts. ************************************************** ~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~ Sticking to the basics If we don’t stick to the basics, we’ll lose sight of who we are and where we came from. We are not perfect, spiritual giants. We’re drunks, junkies, and pill heads who have found a solution to our living problem, a practical solution to an impractical lifestyle. And if we forget the basics—where we come from, working the Steps, and attending meetings—we may be subject to unrealistic ideals and illusions. These can get in the way of recovery. Do I keep it simple? Higher Power, help me to keep it simple and stick to the basics. Today I’ll be sure to stick to the basics by God help me to stay clean and sober today! ************************************************** ~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~ Speak boldly, and speak truly, shame the devil. ~ JOHN FLETCHER ~ Newcomer Last time I shared at a meeting, I felt foolish. There were other people in the room whose troubles were so much more serious than mine. I hate the sound of whining. I don’t want to be like that. Sponsor Sharing and listening to others share are the principal tools we have for staying in recovery. Though we may not get to share at every meeting we attend, it’s necessary to share often, and from the heart. It relieves the pressure inside us that we might otherwise be tempted to relieve by picking up our drug of choice. It’s wonderful that you’re putting your hand up and talking honestly about your experience And feelings as recovery continues. It’s required. At meetings, I haven’t heard much of what some call whining, though I’ve certainly heard people in pain. We may sometimes sound as if we’re stuck in the same place for a while, but in time, we change. If we’re following the path of recovery, growth is inevitable. Neither we nor anyone else can gain anything in recovery by judging a person’s rate of growth or comparing one person’s healing process with another. Today, I participate in restoring my own and others' health by sharing. ************************************************** ~ THE EYE OPENER ~ We have to think our way out of the quagmire we drank ourselves into. No one led us there and no one can lead us out. The older members can give you a few clues or hints but in the final analysis you have to figure it out for yourself in order to get permanent results. You will find as you travel up that long road alone, however, that you have a host of real friends on the sidelines to cheer you on your way. ************************************************** ~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~ THE TOUCH OF THE MASTER’S HAND It was battered and scarred and the auctioneer Thought it scarcely worth his while To waste his time on the old violin, But he held it up with a smile. “What am I bid, good people?” he cried. “Who starts the bidding for me? One dollar? One dollar. Do I hear two? Two dollars. Who makes it three? Three dollars once, three dollars twice, Going for three . . .” But no! From the room, far back, a gray-bearded man Came forward and picked up the bow. Then wiping the dust from the old violin, And tightening up the strings, He played a melody, pure and sweet, As sweet as the angel sings. The music ceased, and the auctioneer, With a voice that was quiet and low, Said, “What now am I bid for this old violin?” As he held it aloft with its bow. “One thousand? One thousand, do I hear two? Two thousand. Who makes it three? Three thousand once, three thousand twice, Going and gone!” said he. The audience cheered, but some of them cried, “We just don’t understand. What changed its worth?” Swift came the reply, “The touch of the master’s hand.” And many a man, with life out of tune, All battered with bourbon and gin, Is auctioned cheap, to a thoughtless crowd, Much like the old violin. A mess of pottage, a glass of wine, A game, and he travels on. He is going once, he is going twice, He is going, and almost gone. But the Master comes and the foolish crowd Never can quite understand The worth of a soul, the change that is wrought, By the Touch of the Master’s Hand. ************************************************* ~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~ NONRESISTANCE When you fight a thing you antagonize it and it hits back. The harder you fight it the harder it hits. When you give your attention to anything, you are building that thing into your consciousness, for good or evil. A story is told about William Penn. He had been accustomed from boyhood to carry a sword because it was part of the dress of a gentleman at that period. One day it occurred to him that this was inconsistent with his Quakerism; but on the other hand he knew that he would feel extremely embarrassed without it. So he consulted George Fox, never doubting what his leader would say, “you must stop wearing it.” George Fox was silent for a few moments, and then said, “Carry thy sword until thou canst no longer carry it.” A year or so later Penn discontinued the practice quite easily. When you are faced with some negative condition, withdrawal your attention from it by building the opposite into your subconscious. Then the undesirable thing falls away like an overripe fruit. Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report, if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things (Philippians 4:8). ************************************************** ~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~ The Case for Forgiveness Forgiveness is the only sane response. ~ A Course in Miracles ~ Successful attorney Michael Rembolt was dealing with an especially grisly divorce case. Both parties were making huge demands, and neither seemed willing to yield. When Michael sat down to pray on the morning of the court date, he remembered a lesson from A Course in Miracles: "Forgiveness offers me everything I want." He began to send prayers of forgiveness to his client and her husband. These thoughts felt so good that he extended his blessings to the opposing attorney, and then to the judge and everyone else scheduled for court that day. Michael arose from his prayer feeling a deep peace. When he arrived at court that morning, Michael found no one there. He went to the judge’s office to find out what had happened, and the magistrate asked him, “Didn’t your secretary tell you that your client settled out of court?” “That’s amazing!” Michael responded. “What’s even more amazing,” the judge went on, “is that we had 32 cases on the docket today, and every one of them settled out of court!” Forgiveness is not just a wimpy act of withholding an attack for a wrongdoing; it is a dynamic, creative, and practical force that has the power to manifest miracles. When we let go of judgment, we free ourselves to enjoy a peace that surpasses anything the world has to offer. The power of forgiveness is misunderstood and underused. It is a sacred gift employed by those who recognize that their true safety comes not from worldly manipulation, but from faith in a higher power. There is nothing in this world that cannot be healed by forgiveness. Give me the strength to extend pure love and release to everyone I meet. I trust You to take care of me as I let go of my fears that would prompt attack. I take refuge in blessing, that I may live in a forgiven world. I forgive and I am forgiven. My world reflects the beauty of heaven because I love as God loves. |
May 9
Step by Step "It is easy to let up on the spiritual program of action and rest on our laurels. We are headed for trouble if we do ...We are not cured of alcoholism. What we really have is a daily reprieve contingent on the maintenance of our spiritual condition." - Alcoholics Anonymous, Third Edition, 1976, Ch 6, p 85 Today, a cautionary tale against "rest(ing) on our laurels" and that staying sober is a day-to-day reprieve. Just as clear are the words that my reprieve is based on the "maintenance of (my) spiritual condition." "How can I best serve (my Higher Power) - Thy will (not mine) be done," is the cornerstone of our spiritual recovery. Neglect of that cornerstone will predictably erode the humility obtained when seeking and carrying out the will of our higher power and, with a weakened foundation or none at all, relapse is predictable. That we have only a day-to-day reprieve and the warning against "rest(ing) on our laurels" remind us that the number of 24 Hours we accumulate is no guarantee that we will add to it today. But, today, I am concerned not with how many 24 Hours I have been sober but with carrying out His will instead of mine. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M ************************************************** ~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~ TRUST A person who doesn’t trust themselves can never trust others. ~ Anonymous ~ Our Fellowship provides a realistic opportunity to trust again. We learn to accept people for who they are. We do not place expectations on others. We discover our fellow travelers have had experiences similar to our own and that the issues they struggle with are issues we have in common. We learn not to wrap up all our hopes and dreams in another person. We reserve this relationship for our Higher Power. Our recovery allows us to live in a world where people have flaws, where mistakes are made, where we might be let down and hurt. It is equally true, however, that we can find joy, companionship, and a warm fellowship if we allow ourselves to trust. We no longer demand that the world change so we can trust it. First I learned to trust the Program. Now I’ve begun to trust myself and others again. ************************************************** ~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~ God as the ultimate mystery of being is beyond thinking. ~ Joseph Campbell ~ The child’s profound question “Where did I come from?” never really gets answered as long as we live. We learn to settle for things that point to an answer, for bits of evidence of partial answers. Holy scriptures tell us what inspired and wise people said over the millennia. But in the end, our thinking isn’t big enough to encompass or understand the ultimate mystery. Yet it seems to be in the nature of our human race to think in spiritual terms and to embrace mystery. We are in awe when we see the vastness of the ocean, when we gaze across the vista from a mountainside, or when we look through a microscope at the inner workings of a cell. This feeling of awe and beauty, and the mystery it evokes, is the spiritual impulse. The mystery brought us here, and when we follow it, we can learn to trust it. It gives us our birthright to be here and it will care for us. Today I am in the care of God, and I will accept the comfort of trusting God. ************************************************** ~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~ Control is an illusion. It doesn’t work. ~ Melody Beattie ~ We’ve probably spent years trying to control the actions and the opinions of others. With powerful determination, we harp, we nag, we get angry and spiteful. Seldom do we succeed in getting our way. Perhaps there are times when controlling others is appropriate. For instance, keeping our children safe is necessary. But we can’t keep people from harm if they decide to take certain actions. The best we can hope for is that our suggestions help them control their impulses. While controlling others is an illusion, controlling ourselves is not. We can and should be adamant about taking full responsibility for our every action, thought, dream, and plan. Our willingness to let others live their own lives will influence them in positive ways. That’s almost as good as control! I will acknowledge how limited my power to control is. Today I’ll focus on my actions only. ************************************************** ~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~ I need to use my support network I sit at home, watch TV, and eat. I can’t concentrate enough to read. And I can’t stop thinking. At night sometimes, I’m too agitated to sleep. When I wake up, I feel exhausted. I have little energy. Those are the longest days and longest nights. And yet I know I don’t have to be alone or cope all by myself. If I work up the courage, I can go to a recovery meeting, talk with a friend on the phone, walk with a friend, or get hold of my sponsor or councillor. I know that when I spend time with others in recovery, it’s easier to spend time with myself. Today I will contact two support people, one during the day and one in the evening. ************************************************* ~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~ You don’t live in a world all alone. Your brothers are here, too.... ~ Albert Schweitzer ~ Some days, we may be too shy to reach out to people. We’re not alone. Others may be shy, too. Often, we can get the help we need by offering it to another. When we can overcome our shyness enough to offer support to someone else, we feel better about ourselves and the world. Soon, we’ll find it easier to reach out to people, to begin a conversation or ask for help ourselves. Those efforts succeed far more often than they fail. We don’t have to let shyness keep us from people. We discover that giving blesses the giver as much as the receiver. Our Higher Power always sees to it that we get what we need. All we need is to be open to that strength, and to the fact that God’s plan for us includes our sharing with others. Today help me reach out to others and share of myself. ************************************************** ~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~ Attention is a tacit and continual compliment. ~ Anne-Sophie Swetchine ~ When soldiers are ordered to attention, they stand erect and completely still. Their eyes are focused ahead. They are silent. Their attention is completely centered on their leader so they can respond without hesitation to the commands they receive. When you listen to another, your focus needs to be like that of a soldier at attention. Your mind must be free from the clutter of your own thoughts so you can give full attentiveness to the words of another. There may be times when you are thinking about other things or formulating your response—interfering with your ability to truly listen to others. Or there may be times when your own burdens are all you can handle. To listen to another is an effort you may not be able to make. But do this often, and you may miss out on the opportunity for human connection to ease your loneliness or isolation. You may lose learning from another’s experience, which may be useful in your own life. And you may miss out on nuggets of wisdom that can ease some of the burdens you are carrying. Today I will put aside my own thoughts and truly listen to the words of another. I will give my undivided attention so I can gain a different perspective and outlook. ************************************************** ~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~ How many times have we heard, "Why? I've given him the shirt off my back and now look what he has done to me," or "I've given him the best years of my life and look what I get in return." If we bestow a gift or favor and expect a return for it, it is not o gift but a trade. ~ Anonymous ~ It’s not easy to give to another with no thought of return. In the past we may have given to takers who drained us of money, food, and time. We may have felt we were supposed to give and give some more. Then in the program we learned we could receive and didn't have to give all the time. We may have then become overly conscious of giving. We may have been so adamant about not being taken advantage of that we became afraid to give. Through our growth in the program, we may find it easier to see the difference between a taker and a true friend. In so doing, we'll find we don't need to measure our giving. It will come back to us from those who are truly worth giving to. I can give to the people I know won't hurt me or take advantage of me. I can trust them. ************************************************** ~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~ Knowing our limitations If someone asks us for spiritual information or guidance, we must be sure we have spiritual information or guidance before trying to give it away. It’s an error to assume that just because we are clean and sober anything we suggest will be correct. There is no shame in saying, “I don’t know,” or suggesting another source of help. In fact, it’s a sign of humility. It takes great courage to recognize and admit our limitations. When we ask for guidance in helping others, we might listen for that “still small voice within” to tell us whether to move forward or hold back. Am I learning my limitations? Higher Power, help me to be of real service to you and your children. Today I will seek spiritual guidance in helping others by God help me to stay clean and sober today! ************************************************** ~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~ Falling in love with your doctor or nurse or a fellow patient is an old romantic story. ~ LIVING SOBER ~ Newcomer A friend tells me that she’s been experiencing feelings of attraction toward her sponsor. I’ve heard that this happens, even though most sponsors and sponsees follow the suggestion not to work together if a potential for attraction exists. What should be done about it? Sponsor I’m glad that you trust me—and yourself—enough to discuss this sensitive issue. In most sponsor-sponsee relationships, both participants share a lot about themselves and let themselves be seen as they really are. The mutual respect and caring that can result is a blessing. However, in such a close relationship, feelings, thoughts, and wishes occasionally come up in the form of an attraction. In my own role as a sponsor, I’ve learned that certain intense feelings a sponsee may express, whether of attraction or anger, don’t necessarily belong to me. This sort of emotional transference is common in therapy and other relationships in which the work is close and exposing. Often, romantic feelings on the part of a sponsee pass quickly. Sometimes all that’s needed is to share them. In my own opinion, it’s good to give the problem some time— if it were to persist as a concern for either the sponsor or the sponsee, they’d want to reconsider the advisability of working together. Today, I am grateful for boundaries, others’ and my own, that make the fellowship a safe place. ************************************************** ~ THE EYE OPENER ~ God has done some mighty fine work with what the world thought was very indifferent material. St. Paul and St. Augustine were two examples of men that God chose that no personal officer in the world today would have given the OK. AA is full of similar examples where God has chosen the godless and made him His instrument for the performance of good work. The tremendous energy, zeal, initiative, enthusiasm, and ambition that were factors in our becoming alcoholics, now diverted to better use, make us well qualified to serve in God’s cause. ************************************************** ~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~ WHEN SEEKING GOD If a person would find God, let that person humbly ask for a chance to believe; and meanwhile let him or her go personally, not by delegate, to a less fortunate brother, helping him in his need of body and soul. When a person seeks God, he or she will presently find what is sought. For when a person can leave him−or herself and enter the lives of others, that person leaves his or her own heart open so that God may enter and dwell within. ************************************************* ~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~ PRAYER DOES CHANGE THINGS Prayer does change things. Let us be perfectly clear about this. Prayer does change things. Many people say that prayer is a good thing because it gives us courage and fortitude for meeting our troubles. They say that prayer often gets a man out of difficulty simply by giving him self-confidence that he would otherwise have lacked. Of course, this is not spiritual Truth. The fact is that seeing the Presence of God where the trouble seems to be does not merely give us courage to meet the trouble; it changes the trouble into harmony. Prayer heals the body by changing the tissues, and it does this by first changing the mind that forms them. Prayer brings man his salvation by changing his nature fundamentally; not by making the best of him as he is. The body, the environment, the universe itself, is plastic to our thought; and it always reflects our sincere belief. For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he (Proverb 23:7) ************************************************** ~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~ Truth and Greatness If any man seeks for greatness, let him forget greatness and ask for truth, and he will find both. ~ Horace Mann ~ Years ago, I taught yoga in a local adult school. I enjoyed it so much that I decided I wanted to make it my profession. I launched a massive promotion campaign, calling and writing every health spa and adult school in the phone book. After great efforts, I manifested two contracts, one which was eventually canceled due to low enrollment, and the other in a health spa. Our class was located on the floor next to the exercisers who walked over the relaxing yogis and joked about us en route. I began to wonder if a publicity blitz was really the way to go. In the wake of my fruitless efforts, I decided to simply focus on the classes I was already teaching and give them 100 percent of what I had to give. As a result, word-of-mouth spread, and before long I had more invitations that I could accept. Many of us have the cart before the horse when it comes to establishing a career. We believe that if our presentation is slick enough, we can wedge our foot in the doors we desire. But do you really want to be where you are valued for presentation alone? We earn our right place by giving quality service. Treat your customers like God, and God will provide for you like the heir to the kingdom that you are. Put aside your desire for fame, power, riches, and worldly success, and make it your first priority to give true caring to your clients. Deep in every customer's heart is the knowledge and appreciation of integrity. Quality is the best promotion. Help me serve through being what I truly am. I put aside my illusions of grandeur and trust that if I am grand in love, I shall live in abundance and joy. I give my best to life, and life gives its best to me. |
May 10
Step by Step "Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs." - Step Five Today, my obligation to the Fifth Step is admitting the "nature of (my) wrongs" to three participants - God, myself and another person. Laboring with judicious honesty in the Fourth is not sufficient to reconcile myself with my character defects: " ...If we skip this vital (Fifth) step, we may not overcome drinking." The function of Step Five is to attain humility:"Trying to avoid this humbling experience, (we) have turned to easier methods." And, as we in recovery have been warned repeatedly, there is no "easier, softer way." Today, I will avoid the falsehood of thinking I have lost egoism and attained humility in my Fourth Step inventory, even if it is as honest as it can be, and submit to the humility of sharing the nature of my wrongs to another person - after admitting them first to my higher power and myself. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M. ************************************************** ~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~ TOUCHING HANDS If only all hands that reach could touch. ~ Mary A. Loberg ~ When we were using, we may have been surrounded by people, but we felt alone. When we were beaten down to the pits of despair, we reached for helping hands. We found many extended to touch ours. We can never stand so tall as when we stoop to reach the searching hand or those who may need our help. We know the hands we touch will give us still more strength to work our Program and carry our message of love. Now we, too, are willing to reach out to help others who are still suffering, whether they’re in the Program or not. We want to give them the “hand up” we got from our friends and sponsor. Unless my hands touch others, my recovery program will not survive. This union of hands is one of the secrets of its success. ************************************************** ~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~ One of the oldest human needs is having someone wonder where you are when you don’t come home at night. ~ Margaret Mead ~ Many of us grew up with a loving mother who gave us life and cared for our needs. Others among us had mothers who were missing from our lives, either physically or emotionally. Perhaps no word in any language carries more weight or more feelings than the word mother. It carries images of comfort, undying love, first intimacy, and complete acceptance. Few mothers ever totally fulfill those images. As we become adults, we have a more realistic understanding of our relationship with our mother. She was a real human being, not a stereotype, and not perfect. We longed for her approval and her love, as all children do. We had angry feelings toward her sometimes, and guilt about the ways we hurt her. It is our adult task to make peace with her, living or dead, to forgive her for what we did not get and for how we were hurt, and to accept forgiveness for our mistakes. Only after we have made that peace are we truly emancipated adults and free to love others fully. Today I seek peace with my mother. ************************************************** ~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~ Life is for enjoying. It is not a race to see how much you can get done. ~ Jill Clark ~ Before we quit using alcohol and other drugs, we wasted precious hours, days, maybe years. Consequently, we feel we must make up for lost time. We make promises and commitments we don’t have the time or the energy to fulfill. This is a normal response to hindsight. After all, we missed many wonderful opportunities when our focus was on getting and staying high. Making up for the past is different from making the most of each twenty-four hours. It’s not how much we accomplish in life but how we treat others along the way that counts. We can accomplish our daily tasks while being kind to other people. But choosing the latter as the more important action will bring a far greater sense of well-being than succeeding at “moving mountains.” I will get done everything I really need to do today if I focus on being kind to the women and men who cross my path. ************************************************** ~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~ I am coming alive in recovery When I awaken these days, I feel stronger, hopeful, willing. I have a sense of purpose these days−to recover from my dual disorder, to reclaim my life−and I know what I need to do. I have come out from under the rock. I feel free and light. With my recovery plan to guide me, my days are full and I sleep well at night. I feel grateful to my higher power for this new strength and spirit. I will quietly share my process and my joy with my sponsor and group. ************************************************* ~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~ Where there is patience and humility, there is neither anger nor vexation. ~ St. Francis of Assisi ~ When we begin recovery, we often start tap-ping our feet and looking at our watches, impatient and annoyed because our family and loved ones haven’t caught up with our progress. But if we really care about them, we’ll give them the respect they deserve and let them choose their own recovery timetable, as we chose ours. We began recovery when we were ready, and not a minute sooner. We may have resisted the urging of others for a long time before we actually felt ready to change our lives. Now it’s our turn to give others the time they need to change, to let them recover on their own timetable. We’re tempted to rush them, and maybe overeager to share the joys of recovery, our new values. We’ve found a wonderful new way to live, and we can’t wait for them to join us. But wait we must. Our Higher Power can help us wait lovingly and with patience, and we can let go. Today help me be patient with those who are new to the path of recovery. ************************************************** ~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~ My mother wasn’t what the world would call a good woman. She never said she was. ~ Boxcar Bertha ~ Chances are you did not grow up in a home with a mother who was a Carol Brady June Cleaver, or Claire Huxtable. If you did, you were blessed with love, attention, and care. Your mother was there for you. She made you feel important and noticed, and helped you build your confidence and self-esteem. But if your mother was an addict herself, abusive, or an enabler to your father’s addiction, you lost out on knowing what it felt like to be mothered. If you lost your mother due to divorce or death, such circumstances similarly deprived you of an experience of growth through her guidance. Losing out on the opportunity to build a long-term relationship with your mother is a loss that may never go away. But no matter what the relationship was or is with your mother, she is still your mother. Have you used the time since you left your childhood home to better understand your relationship with her? Have you been able to let go of what you did not get and accept that you can find love and support in adulthood? Or are you still looking for the mothering you never received? Today I will forgive my mother and let go of any resentment I might still be feeling toward her. ************************************************** ~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~ Ozone and friendship will be our stimulants−let the drugs, tobacco, and strong drink go forever. Natural joy brings no headaches or heartaches. ~ Elbert Hubbard ~ The longer we say in the program, working on bettering ourselves, the more addictions we'll find we've outgrown. The alcoholic and the drug addict learn life can be grand without chemicals. The overeater acquires an appetite for fresh air and companionship rather than food. When we learn to see our lives without a primary addiction, we can then rid ourselves of secondary addictions like smoking, obsessive exercising, caffeine, and sweets. We can free ourselves from all addictions and have a more serene outlook on the healing power we have over our lives. However, we need to remember we can be obsessive about change. We don t have to become a natural-food freak or a lecturer on the evils of white sugar or nicotine. But we do need to look at the hold those addictions have on us. When we're ready to let go of an addiction, we'll let go of it freely. I can look at the addictions in my life and make some changes. I can begin tonight by working on le letting go. ************************************************** ~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~ Relating to our Higher Power The relation of our souls to God is so pure that it is vain to think that we can separate it from any of our being. God speaks to all of our life. There isn’t one part that belongs to our Higher Power and other parts that belong to a job, family, friends, interests, and soon. Our relationship with our Higher Power is sacred, and so all of our life is sacred. God loves beyond all things. God’s love and purity enter into all our life. We need but recognize and live by this. How do I relate to God? Higher Power, I know that you see me, hear me, and know all my thoughts and desires, even the innermost secrets of my heart! Today I will work on my relationship with my Higher Power by God help me to stay clean and sober today! ************************************************** ~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~ I’ll agree to be your sponsor—if you’ll agree to phone me every day and to call first if you think you’re going to pick up. ~ MAN IN RECOVERY ~ Newcomer I know I haven’t called you for a while. You don’t have to worry about me, though. I appreciate what you’ve done for me, but I just don’t think I need to call you every single day. I’ve been able to stay away from my addictive substance without always talking about it. Sponsor No one can force you to do anything. Your life is your own. You are the one who’s responsible for it. I can share my experiences and listen to yours, but I can’t get another person drunk and I can’t keep another person sober. When I let others know what’s really going on with me, I start feeling connected with them. That’s not always comfortable. But I don’t much like the work of attempting to control my disease in isolation, either. Consistent sharing with other recovering people is the core of recovery. It teaches us how to be honest. I want to acknowledge your courage in saying no to me today. I trust that you’ll say it a lot as you establish boundaries that let you feel safe with me and others. But if I’m going to sponsor you in your recovery, I need us to have an agreement about regular times to talk about the program and what’s going on in your relationship to it. And I want to know that if you’re tempted to act out your addiction, you’ll call me first. Today, as relationships with people continue, I have the courage to identify my own needs. I set appropriate limits that allow me to stay connected with others and to keep my commitments. ************************************************** ~ THE EYE OPENER ~ The life of any individual is a wonderful book; it is a love story; one of adventure and travel. It is biography and it is poetry. It is spiritual and it is tragic. It is everything rolled into one, for it is life, and life is every human emotion and experience. The story does not end until the last line of the last chapter is completed. God is the author and He records a true portrayal of the character of the actors in the story, and the book will end “happy-ever-after” only if we, the actors, live our roles as He directed. ************************************************** ~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~ ONE DAY AT A TIME One day at a time−this is enough. Do not look back and grieve over the past, for it is gone. And do not be troubled about the future, for it has not yet come. Live in the present, and make it so beautiful that it will be worth remembering. ************************************************* ~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~ INCONSISTENCIES MADE CLEAR Those who are perplexed by the difficulties and seeing inconsistencies of life should remember that at the present time we get only a partial view of things; and that a partial view of anything never shows the thing as it really is. If you were to show an Eskimo any number of pictures of sections of a horse, but never a picture of the whole horse, he would never know what the animal really looked like. So it is with life. Some day (when we have enough spiritual growth) we will come to see that the seemingly disjointed happenings, the apparent accidents, are really part of an orderly pattern. Judge not according to the appearance, but judge righteous judgement (John 7:24) ************************************************** ~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~ God’s Payroll Seek ye first the Kingdom of Heaven, and all else shall be added unto you. ~ Jesus Christ ~ I feel so guilty,” my friend Don told me. "I have a word-of-mouth auto sales business in which I sell a few cars a week and make pretty good money. I spend most of my time as a sponsor for people in 12-step recovery programs. Yet I work just a few hours a week, and all my needs are met.” “No need to feel guilty, Don,” I told him. “You are on God’s payroll.” The universe will pay you to do what serves it best. To be in your right place and enjoy the benefits of right livelihood, release the idea that work is something you must slave at. The notion that work is a necessary evil and that we must violate ourselves to receive money is not a principle of God, but a tenet of fear. If God is love, then God would not make you do something you hated in order to receive support. To the contrary, the universe will rush to take care of you when you follow your bliss and do what you most enjoy. You came to earth with talents, intuitions, and visions. As you follow them, you draw to yourself all the material and spiritual support you need. If abundance does not seem to be flowing your way, ask yourself if there is something that you would love to be doing more than what you are doing. Have you had urges or intuitions that you have not acted on? Your secret dreams or delights may be exactly the keys to shifting your energy and results. When you do what you love, you will be serving others in the highest capacity, feel fulfilled, and enjoy the support of the universe. Give me the courage to follow my heart. Help me do what You would have me do, that I might enjoy the fullness of Your blessings. I do what I love, and the universe loves to support me for it. |
May 11
Step by Step " ...(D)eep down in every man, woman and child is the fundamental idea of God. It may be obscured by calamity, by pomp, by worship of other things but, in some form or other, it is there. For faith in a Power greater than ourselves, and miraculous demonstrations of that power in human lives, are facts as old as man himself." - Alcoholics Anonymous, Third Edition, 1976, Ch 4, p 55. Today, the "fundamental idea of God" exists. But the idea may be more deeply rooted in the agnostic and atheist. To those who grapple with the concept of a higher power, perhaps a first step is to acknowledge the one thing that is stronger than all of us - alcohol. In it, we have more than belief in its power: we have experience. And if we can know that something stronger than ourselves can take us to the gates of Hell, can we not take a leap of blind faith in something capable of guiding us back to sanity? But even this challenge is prefaced on a single condition: we must be willing to consider that a higher power exists. Today, I can take that leap of faith knowing that if something so strong as alcohol can kick me in the gutter, there may be something stronger to lift me out of it. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M. ************************************************** ~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~ BEAUTY Beauty as we feel it is something indescribable; what it is or what it means can never be said. ~ George Santayana ~ Beauty is among our most useful and most used words as we progress toward spiritual goals. The kind of beauty that guides our thinking in recovery does not lie on the outside, but rises from within. When we learn to see that beauty in the words, actions, and attitudes of others as well as in the principles we follow, we are choosing well. Our friends have beauty because of who they really are, not what they may appear to be. The emotions we feel and the living guides we follow are beautiful simply because we need them. I will have no trouble finding spiritual beauty in our Program. True beauty never dies. It is found in all thoughts, attitudes and emotions, if only I seek it. ************************************************** ~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~ It is only by risking ourselves from one hour to another that we live at all. ~ William James ~ We all know men who seem to be empty bodies, walking through life. These are the guys who never talk about anything personal and never let anyone get to know them. Many of them love to complain about their job, their wife or girlfriend, their boss, the government, or anything outside themselves. These guys will talk about sports or the weather but never about real events or personal experiences. Many of us have been these men. When we wake up to a real life, we become present; we are alive to our experiences, our sensations, and our feelings. This requires that we drop the shield of deadness and become personal. It involves risk and makes life incredibly interesting. Today I will take the risk to be present to my life in every minute, every hour. ************************************************** ~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~ Once conflict has arisen, we are kidding our-selves if we think it can he ignored. ~ Linda Riebel ~ Conflict is ordinary, some may even say necessary. And it generally makes us tense, but that’s primarily because we want to “win” every disagreement. Through our role models in this program, we learn that feelings should not be stuffed or ignored, but they don’t have to be resolved immediately either. Simply sharing with someone that we are angry about a situation is often enough. Doing more often escalates a minor conflict into a major confrontation. Choosing to be peaceful, rather than right, isn’t copping out, even though it may seem so at first. Rather, it’s opting to put our energies into positive exchanges with others. Remembering that every relationship is given to us by design, not accident, gives us reason to pause before stepping on the toes of our “teachers.” Honoring them with love and acceptance diminishes our need to be right. Letting go of my need to be right today will truly give me peace. ************************************************** ~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~ I want to talk about my problem I suspected I had some problems with my emotions and my drinking. But I was too confused and ashamed to talk with anyone about them. And yet I wanted to. It was frightening to feel out of control, to mistrust everyone. I didn’t want to feel alone. I wanted someone to know what was happening with me. With the help of some “luck,” what I now call my higher power, a trusting friend told me about his recovery in AA. I am deeply grateful for his introduction to this fellowship. I now see that there are others like me, others who can help me simply by their example, by listening to me, and by accepting me. This is what I need to continue coming out of isolation. I will check in with my sponsor today and allow time for a fellow member who might need my support. ************************************************* ~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~ Real love is like holding an egg in your hand. The tighter you squeeze, the more you lose. ~ Ron P. ~ When we learn to love the beauty and gifts of others as separate from us, healthy relationships can flourish. Control is the enemy of love, and at the heart of our painful relationships is usually one person trying to change another. When we let it, love grows into a flower of unsurpassed beauty. When we trust enough to allow our loved ones to really be themselves and make their own decisions, we open the door to intimacy. Nothing is more loving than feeling free to live without criticism from our partner. Learning to love someone better challenges us. It isn’t easy, and we run up against our deepest fears of rejection, inadequacy, and loss of control. But these are things we don’t want to bring to a relationship anyway. The work we do to improve our own health is the most important task in our lives. Part of this work is to let others do the same for themselves. When we can begin to do this, we are beginning to be ready to reap the rewards of real love. Today help me let go of others, especially those I love. ************************************************** ~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~ Rage cannot be hidden, it can only be disassembled. ~ James Baldwin ~ In her book The Tao of Inner Peace, Diane Dreher tells about a time when she was working as a medical receptionist. One day the office was particularly busy and workers were installing new carpeting. During their lunch hour, the workers forgot to unplug an iron and it burned into the floorboards. Dreher rushed to the smell of smoke and quickly unplugged the iron. When the doctors returned from lunch and smelled the smoke, they erupted in anger. Long after Dreher had unplugged the iron and averted an even worse disaster, others were operating as if a great disaster was in progress. Anger is one of those emotions that can spark quickly. It is not always a bad emotion to express, particularly when it provides warning of possible danger or sets personal limits and boundaries. But anger that lasts for minutes, hours, days, or even years after the source of the anger has passed is unhealthy. Anger that does not have an on-off switch or that festers over time can easily distract you from taking an appropriate course of action. It absorbs valuable time in the present that can eat away at your growth. And it can spill over into other emotions, which can increase your stress level. I take steps to release my anger before it escalates or does more harm than good. ************************************************** ~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~ A mother's heart is the child's school room. ~ Henry Ward Beecher ~ We've learned much from our mother. That doesn’t mean all our learning has been good or wise, just as it has not been all bad or crazy. Where we are right now in our lives is a result of the things we have learned thus far. Mothers aren't perfect. Our mother had a mother who taught her. What our mother did was cope as best as she could with what she was taught. We probably received the best she had to offer, even if it may not have been the best in our eyes. As we look back to our school days, we need to keep in mind that we haven't retained all the information we were taught. We've kept the most interesting and beneficial textbook learning so we could make our way in the world. The learning we received from our mother can be treated in the same manner. Tonight, we can recall what we like and leave the rest. The most beneficial learning she gave us could be as simple as knowing how to tie our shoes or bake bread, or is all-encompassing as our ability to believe in ourselves. Tonight, I can thank my mother for the good things I learned from her. ************************************************** ~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~ Overcoming Indecision We often find it difficult to make simple decisions in our everyday lives. Sometimes the major decisions are easier to make than minor ones. But it is good practice to ask for help on any issue we need help with, major or minor, simple or complex. Over time our Higher Power will help us see life situations with increasing clarity. Over time everyday decisions will become easier to make and everyday irritations will stop paralyzing our thinking. Am I conquering my indecision? Higher Power, I pray for greater self-awareness and the willingness to ask for help with everyday indecision. Today I will ask for help with God help me to stay clean and sober today! ************************************************** ~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~ Honesty is the best policy. ~ DAVID TUVILL ~ Newcomer I’ve heard people talk about “firing” their sponsors, about sponsors “firing” their sponsees. I find that term disillusioning. I thought we were here to help one another. Sponsor Human relationships change, for all sorts of reasons, and there’s nothing wrong with acknowledging that reality. Sponsors, like sponsees, are just people in recovery, growing and working the Steps; we don’t always handle things perfectly. One sponsor may take on more than he or she is really prepared to handle; with phone calls coming day and night from an overload of sponsees, frequency or quality of communication may be inadequate. Another sponsor may enjoy being bossy and have trouble recognizing the difference between passing on program experience and trying to impose his or her will in areas where personal choice is appropriate. A sponsor may discover that a sponsee lacks the desire for recovery or has significant problems in an area in which the sponsor has no experience. When differences are resolved by talking and listening, relationships grow and deepen. Are we avoiding necessary confrontation with ourselves or others? Or does growth, this time, mean that it’s appropriate to separate? Honesty, courage, and love are qualities that help us make transitions in our relationships. Today, my willingness to grow enhances my relationships with others. ************************************************** ~ THE EYE OPENER ~ God will only help those who honestly try to help themselves. We in AA know the truth of this statement for it was only when we, by a definite act on our part, determined to do something about our drinking that God made available that Power that enables us to recover our sanity. If your house is on fire it is very well to pray but the prayers will avail little unless you are running for a hose while you are praying. ************************************************** ~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~ RISK To laugh is to risk appearing the fool. To weep is to risk being call sentimental. To reach out to another is to risk involvement. To expose feelings is to risk your true self. To place your ideas and dreams before the crowd is to risk being called naïve. To love is to risk not being loved in return. To live is to risk dying. To hope is to risk despair. To try is to risk failure. But risks must be taken, Because the greatest risk in life is to risk nothing. The people who risk nothing do nothing. Have nothing, are nothing, and become nothing. They may avoid suffering and sorrow, But they simply cannot learn to feel. And change, and grow, and love, and live. Chained by their servitude, they are slaves, They have forfeited their freedom. Only the people who risk are truly free. ************************************************* ~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~ AN ADVANCED CLASS Many people would like to attend what they call an advanced class in metaphysics; but what could an advanced course include that would not be in the ordinary lessons? The usual metaphysical classes teach that God is the only power, and that evil is unsubstantial; that we form our own destiny by our thoughts and our beliefs; that conditions do not mater when we pray; that time and space and matter are human illusions; that there is a solution to every problem; the man is the child of God, and God is perfect good; that Jesus Christ is the one who taught the full truth about God, and actually demonstrated it. Once the student has obtained a correct intellectual comprehension of these facts, and digested them−at least partially−the only thing that remains for him is to develop his understanding by demonstrating them in practice. So we see that the real advanced course is the one we give ourselves by demonstrating over the practical problems of everyday life. Faith without works is dead (James 2:20) ************************************************** ~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~ A Bit of Myself Know then that the world exists for you... Adam called his house heaven and earth; Caesar called his house Rome; you perhaps call yours a cobbler’s trade, a hundred acres of ploughed land, or a scholar’s garret, let line for line and point for point your dominion is as great as theirs... Build therefore your own world. ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson ~ “I prefer doing oil paintings,” John told me, “but occasionally I take a commercial art job. Even in my commercial work, I imbue my essence. My brother-in-law, a contractor, commissioned me to do a painting of his backhoe. I depicted the backhoe realistically, and where the backhoe was digging into the ground, I painted a scene of the starry cosmos. He loved it!” Everything we do has our flavor in it. To do anything without your essence would be as impossible as the sun shining without heat. Your essence is the unique dimension you add to any act you express, from walking your dog to building a skyscraper. It is the special energy that you came to deliver to the world. Just as no two snowflakes or fingerprints are alike, every individual has a uniquely beautiful contribution to offer. When I walked into a bookstore after I published The Dragon Doesn’t Live Here Anymore, I was shocked to find hundreds of books with similar themes, some written by famous and gifted authors. Suddenly I felt glad that I hadn’t studied the market before I wrote the book; I would have felt intimidated and doubted there was anything I could add to the field. I might have even quit before I started. But I was blissfully naive, and I went ahead, motivated by the sheer joy of expressing myself. Now my books are on the very shelves I would have shied away from. Never shrink from expressing yourself. Your perspective is the one that will carry you. Follow your unique instincts, and you will be uniquely successful. Help me know that what I am is good enough. I honor the uniqueness in which You created me. Confident in my gifts, I shine my own light and bring quality to life through my individuality. |
May 12
Step by Step Today, impatience and spontaneous anger will not command what I say because my words may require another amend to someone. Unlike physical injuries, emotional hurt from an unkind word spoken in recklessness or anger may not be as easily reconciled. If today I explode in frustration, God grant me the wisdom to respond first with the discipline and tolerance that are contained within the 12 Steps. More than eating tomorrow the reckless words I speak today, no words can be taken back - and some can cause hurt for which an apology cannot un-hurt. Today, discipline and patience with tolerance and wisdom to guide my words. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M. ************************************************** ~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~ VALUES By accepting God’s help we learn to think clearly, to play fairly, and to give generously. ~ Anonymous ~ Our values change in recovery as we become less and less selfish. The value screen through which we see life is changed. We no longer ask what everyone can do for us; we ask what we can do for them. We no longer seek out situations that only comfort us; we discover ways to comfort. We find that we feel better about ourselves when we help others. We learn from our Program that what we have been searching for our whole lives is wrapped up in service to others. The valuable relationship is the one that creates a closer contact with our Higher Power, so we seek out situations and people that bring us into closer contact. The values we show in the work of recovery look different from the ones we once held. Every day brings a new chance to become a conductor of life. My values no longer change with each passing fancy. My life is beginning to mean something and to count for things that are good. ************************************************** ~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~ Just as we took refuge in being special, we can learn to take refuge in being ordinary, not being in charge, not being the center of the universe. ~ Wayne Muller ~ In our addictive and codependent minds, we were prone to feeling special. We felt grandiose about our power to fix others, or about our power to walk on the edge of danger and not get hurt. We thought we could handle things that most people couldn’t. Some of us felt especially bad and shameful, more shameful than everyone else. We thought recovery was fine for others but it wasn’t wb.at we needed, or it wasn’t going to work for us. True self-esteem is not based on feeling special or better than others. A large ingredient of true self-esteem is self-respecting humility. We are all much more alike than we are different, and we are connected to each other on the basic levels of life and death, pain and joy, and the need to give and receive love. When we make friends with other men and really let them know us, we feel our common humanity and a strong sense of self-acceptance and self-esteem. Today I will notice my connection with all others, the people I like and the ones I dislike, the people I know and the people who are strangers. ************************************************** ~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~ I want to be loved, and for that to happen, I must love others and I must want love for them. ~ Betty MacDonald ~ Feeling loved is so elusive. We savor the feeling when it comes, and we think if we hang on tightly, it won’t leave. But we must give love away if we want to keep feeling it. That is the paradox. It is also a principle we can rely on absolutely. Feeling generous in spirit toward others gives us a powerful blessing in return. We quickly sense that whatever we feel toward the friends and associates in our lives we feel about ourselves. Carrying love for others in our hearts assures us of feeling loved too. It’s easier to understand once we begin utilizing this principle. What we give away, we get back. I can influence whether or not I am loved by how I treat others today. What I sow I will reap. ************************************************** ~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~ I need a guide In the past my only guide was myself (and my addiction). I did the best I could with what I had, but it wasn’t nearly what I needed to manage a dual disorder. And I was not willing to accept ideas for change that weren’t my own. Now, after a lengthy journey, I have found a new guide, a source of wisdom and strength much greater than myself. I freely choose this higher power, which includes the Twelve Step program. As difficult as it is to do at times, I am letting go of my old unsuccessful ways of coping and trusting more in my higher power. I have found a better way and I will make it a serious commitment. I will write down one way in which I have already “let go” in my recovery. ************************************************* ~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~ I can know my Higher Power through daily meditation. ~ Lucille S. ~ When we are at a Twelve Step meeting our Higher Power is there also. One way to experience that Power is through members sharing their strength and hope. We know our Higher Power is working in our lives when we hear others tell their story, and we don’t have to feel alone again. We can ask ourselves, are we trying to find ways to identify with other members or are we still trying to be different? Are we finding fault with our Twelve Step program or are we grateful for the principles we are learning? Do we criticize or judge others at meetings? Or are we at one with our Higher Power and the force of our fellowship? We can, in recovery, strive continuously to improve ourselves. We can let go of the critical, faultfinding we did in the past and live one day at a time, grateful for our sobriety. By doing this, we are living constructively, growing spiritually, and freeing ourselves from pain. We are open to the presence of our Higher Power, who is always within, and who can help us if we only ask. Today let me feel God’s presence and power in my life. ************************************************** ~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~ I have always wagered against God and I regard the little I have won in this world as simply the outcome of this bet. ~ Andre Breton ~ What kind of relationship did you have with God in the past? Maybe you prayed only when you were down in the dumps or down on your luck. Perhaps your prayers were filled with “I wants” rather than humble requests for guidance. Maybe your conversations with God were filled with anger and resentment over all that was wrong with yourself and your life. Because you received no answers and your life did not get better, you began to doubt that God even existed. You might view your use and abuse in the past as “good times.” But each time you engaged in your habit was like placing a bet on a roulette wheel; sometimes you experienced a good outcome, but more often than not you lost. In recovery, there can be no wagering with your Higher Power. You cannot build a connection to God by bargaining. You cannot come to a greater understanding of God’s will if you want your will to have the loudest voice or to come out on top. And you cannot fulfill the purpose of your existence when your sole purpose is to fulfill your needs. I will silence my desires and needs so that I might better hear what God is telling me. ************************************************** ~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~ Love is a great thing a good above all others, which alone maketh every burden light. Love is watchful, and whilst sleeping still keeps watch; though fatigued, it is not weary; though pressed, it is not forced. ~Thomas à Kempis ~ Love is not just something we say or write. Love is the face we put on, the clothes we wear, the way we walk and move-our very heart and soul. If we are not made up of love, we will reflect this to others and will feel it within ourselves. Love isn't just a feeling. Love is a truth filled with forgiveness and kindness; with generosity and honesty. It is the willingness to serve and protect, to cherish and respect, to honor and be strong. We do not have to have feelings of love for everyone we meet, but we do need to love them. Have we loved those around us today? Have we shown others that we acknowledge their truth and character, in the same way we would want them to acknowledge us? lf we can see love as separate from the feelings of falling in love, we will then begin to understand there is love in all of us. And each of us is special enough to be loved. Tonight I can see love is everywhere and in everyone. ************************************************** ~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~ Measuring our success Success and happiness in working our pro-gram are subjective. They have to be. Personal satisfaction in anything depends on the individual’s perceptions. Members may comment on what makes for success and happiness in the program, but we can only measure it for ourselves. To judge success by another’s standards is being untrue to ourselves. Some judge success in material terms, some in physical terms. Still others judge success in terms of emotional adjustment or mental and spiritual growth. It’s up to us and our Higher Power, not family, friends, or therapists. We alone measure our success. How do I measure my success? Higher Power, grant that all my thoughts, words, actions, and successes today will be directed by you. Today I will examine my standards for success and happiness by God help me to stay clean and sober today! ************************************************** ~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~ Joy delights in joy. ~ WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE ~ Newcomer Our group is having an anniversary party, and I asked someone with a lot of time in the fellowship to go as my date. I really stuck my neck out: I let this person know that I felt attracted. Here’s the answer I got: “I don’t get involved with anyone with fewer than five years of recovery!” I wish I’d kept my mouth shut. Sponsor Don’t make yourself wrong for asking for what you wanted. While there are kinder, more gracious ways of saying no, at least this person told the truth and didn’t confuse you about what to expect in the future. A date to go to a dance or a party can be just a date; it doesn’t have to lead to deep involvement. You have the right to enjoy yourself and to have social companionship. It’s good experience to attend some sober social events in our first year, especially with friends for whom recovery is as high a priority as it is for us. The first parties I attended in recovery were truly scary to me—I hadn’t had much experience enjoying other people’s company without the “help” of my drug of choice. It may be more relaxing for you to lower the stakes by joining up with two or three recovery friends and attending the party in a group. Or you can sign up to contribute food or music or to help with decorating or cleaning up. Having a job to do is one way to feel part of things. Today, I am grateful for the word “no.” I respect my own and others’ honesty in saying it. I feel joy in my recovery and say yes to celebration. ************************************************** ~ THE EYE OPENER ~ The medical profession is sincere in its efforts to help the alcoholic. Unfortunately, however, the very nature of the ailment defies adequate diagnosis, as the causes cannot be localized or catalogued. Every alcoholic is a sick man, but the underlying cause of his sickness cannot be X-rayed because there is no one underlying cause. It is a progressive disease and the patient himself does not know where the pain really is. We in AA, however, know our patient as we know ourselves, for drunks are strangely alike fundamentally. We know the symptoms and the effects of the malady for we too have suffered it. We know our medicine for its relief, for we were cured by it ourselves. Alcoholism may develop from any number of hidden causes. We may be very much un-alike in our behavior when drinking but in the hang-over stage we are as alike as two peas in a pod. We know what to do in a case like that. ************************************************** ~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~ THY WILL BE DONE If we were to chase each particular care, each particular worry, and each particular sorrow, I would have business on hand for the rest of my life; but if I can rise into a higher state of mind, these cease to be annoyances and cares. Ninety-nine parts in a hundred of the cares in life are cured by one single salve, and that is, “Thy will be done.” The moment I can say that, and let go, that moment more than ninety-nine parts in a hundred of my troubles drop away. ************************************************* ~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~ LET DOWN YOUR BUCKET We live in the Presence of God. The Bible says, In him we live, and move, and have our being (Acts 17:28) This limitless Power, which is Intelligence and Love−God−can be contacted at any time by turning to Him in thought, and allowing Him to fill our hearts. Whenever we do this He at once begins to influence our lives for peace and harmony and freedom. A party of shipwrecked sailors were drifting in an open boat on the Atlantic Ocean. They had no water, and were suffering agonies from thirst. Another small boat came within hailing distance, and when the shipwrecked mariners cried out for water, the newcomers said, “let down your bucket.” This sounded like cruel mockery. But when the advice was repeated several times, one of the sailors dipped the bucket overboard−and drew up clean, fresh, sparkling water! For several days they had been sailing through fresh water and did not know it. They were out of sight of land, but the estuary of the Amazon, which carries fresh water naby niles out to sea. Closer is he than breathing; nearer than hands and feet. ~ Tennyson ~ ************************************************** ~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~ Soulmate Knocking When you are no longer compelled by desire or fear... When you have seen the radiance of eternity in all the forms of time... When you follow your bliss...doors will open where you would not have thought there were doors...and the world will step in and help. ~ Joseph Campbell ~ In one of my seminars, a young girl anxiously posed this question: "I live in California; what if my soulmate is in South Carolina? How am I supposed to find him?” Many of my friends have tried all kinds of techniques to hasten the crucial connection: some of them place and answer personal ads; others join video dating services; some pray and recite affirmations; others make lists of desirable mate traits and read them aloud; some hire matchmakers; and others wear crystals and use flower essence formulas. My friends John and Susan met in a way that defies methodology. John was a hermit living in the Halawa Valley, a remote jungle reachable only by a long and winding road at the far end of the sleepy Hawaiian island of Molokai. One day, John’s friend William showed up to visit him, accompanied by his traveling companion, Susan. Instantly John and Susan hit it off, fell in love, and before long, wedding bells rang. Eventually they moved to another island and John re-entered society. The season of the heart was ripe for the couple to meet, and destiny had its way. John could not have been situated more off the beaten path, and Susan was simply on vacation. Geography means nothing to destiny. If two people are meant to find each other for any reason, they will. We don’t have to worry or scheme. Simply be what you are, where you are, and your good will find you. I pray to release anxious struggle. You know my best interests. I believe in love. I place my destiny in the hands of God, trusting that my good is manifested through a hand greater than my own. |
May 13
Step by Step " ...The alcoholic at certain times has no effective mental defense against the first drink. ...His defense must come from a Higher Power." - Alcoholics Anonymous, Third Edition, 1976, Ch 3, p 43. Today, it is foolish at best and suicidal at worst to rely on my own defenses if the temptation for that mythical first drink rises up. My refuge and perhaps only defense is my faith, trust and loyalty to the higher power of my understanding. By His grace, may I internalize for the current 24 Hours my past as a drinking alcoholic to smash the lie of just one drink and reinforce that all my morning after's became progressively worse, never better. Let me remember just as much if not more that drinking, in the end, is a choice, that there are consequences for every choice I make and that I and only I will be responsible to those consequences. The question, then, is if I am willing to be responsible to the consequences of my choice to drink. My history is proof that the cost, for me, is too high. Today, I will not depend on myself to ward off the con of a first drink; instead, I will have faith in my higher power. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M. ************************************************** ~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~ COURAGE God, help me to remember that nothing is going to happen to me today that You and I can’t handle. ~ Anonymous ~ Courage is what makes us do the right thing even when nobody else is doing it. We can find happiness while surrounded by darkness; we can be loving in the middle of hate and envy, and serene when surrounded by chaos, fear, and anger. The principles of our Program help us face impossible odds. We learn that any act of courage may produce future victory for ourselves and others. The courage which we want takes its strength from faith, not from bravery or physical strength. Foolish, unthinkable courage, though, can be destructive to us or to others. Sensible courage never fails because it is made up of truth and faith. Let truth and faith give me courage, so that when fear knocks, no one is there. ************************************************** ~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~ You can’t control the wind, but you can adjust your sails. ~ Fortune cookie message ~ Sailing is both peaceful and adventurous. Imagine being on a sailboat, working the sails to use the wind for quiet, controlled movement or for exciting speed as you skim across the water. It’s a skill that improves with experience. You learn to work with the wind and apply it to your advantage. Anyone who tries to sail his boat willfully, contrary to the conditions of the wind, gets nowhere. A well-lived life also draws on experience, and we continue to learn as long as we live. Our male models told us that masculinity meant conquering our surroundings, and many of us instinctively saw competition and confrontation as a matter of personal honor. We believed that, as men, our self-esteem was tied to subduing any obstacle before us. But those were a boy’s ideas about what a man is like. As we grow wiser and genuinely stronger, we set our sails to work with the wind. We can neither stop the wind nor make it blow. Today I will watch the winds in my life and work with them to live better. ************************************************** ~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~ The truest measurement of my growth and accomplishments is in remembering where I came from, where I’ve been, and where I’m going. ~ Joan Rohde ~ Our daily routines can be so absorbing that we lose perspective on how we used to live. That’s okay. We need to be present to the moment. However, it benefits us to remember occasionally what our lives used to be like. Never getting too far from the insanity of our past helps us be grateful for the gifts that have become commonplace now. We’ve grown as the result of recovery. For many of us, very little in our lives looks or feels the same. We have new friends, sober relationships, more self-esteem, and a positive direction. A true gift of this new life is that we have hope. We know we can do great things. We know we lived through our traumas because we had not yet fulfilled our purpose, our part of God’s destiny. And we know we’ll get the guidance we need to fulfill that destiny if we remain committed to the program’s principles. I am in a “growing” state of mind. My life is a rich and purposeful play directed by my Higher Power. ************************************************** ~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~ I am grateful for the Twelve Steps Long ago I gave up my initial guide to living, the religion of my childhood. But the spiritual crisis of my dual disorder left me desperate, lost. I did not know what to do. After a period of struggle, I found the Twelve Steps−and I am profoundly grateful. The Steps are spiritual, not religious. They are gentle, forgiving. They make it possible for me to recover. They help me accept myself and others. They help me live the kind of life I want. The Twelve Steps are at work in my life. Today I will spend ten minutes reading about and thinking about this week’s Step. ************************************************* ~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~ Passive-aggressive anger gives us ulcers and gives others mixed messages. ~ Ruth McKinnis ~ Our past addictive lives were often based on cover-up and denial of feelings. Some old habits die hard, and unresolved anger may creep back into the best of recovery programs. Unexplained bursts of anger may take us by surprise and make us wonder if we really are getting better. Finding ourselves faced with a string of daily irritations, we are now challenged to look deeper at what is really going on in our lives. What might we be ignoring and covering up in our day-to-day living? Discovering the cause of passive-aggressive anger is a powerful tool that will let us live assertively with our feelings and then let go of them. We don’t have to let our feelings build. With help from our Higher Power and our Twelve Step program, we can work through the real cause of a problem. It’s always better for us, and others, if we share our feelings rather than store them up till they burst out. In learning to do the next right thing, we learn to be assertive with our anger, and find real peace of mind. Today let me learn to assertively share my feelings instead of covering them up. ************************************************** ~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~ People need joy quite as much as clothing. Some of them need it far more. ~ Margaret Collier Graham ~ Have you ever met those who seem to emit a glow all around them? They seem to exude a brightness that illuminates even the darkest times. They can find the joy in most anything. When they walk into a room, you can al-most feel the burdens of those around them being lifted. These people are not the life of the party—they are the party! What makes some people have such a lightness of living? How can they always seem to be able to find the silver lining in any dark cloud? Those who have this inner light have learned how to develop a sense of joy and wonder with the world. They are able to sift through what is important in life and what creates distractions so they can extract what is most beneficial to them and discard what is not. You can develop a similar lightness within you—one that enables you to experience more joy in your life. You do this by developing the ability to pay greater attention to those things that provide you with the most benefit and positive energy, and less attention on petty arguments, silly conflicts, or meaningless distractions. You can then be joyful by keeping your life light, open, and free. I will nurture the glow within me. ************************************************** ~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~ We live on a moving line between past and future. That line is our lifeline. ~ George A. Buttrick ~ Live in the present is a good slogan for those of us who grew up in an alcoholic family because many of us find it hard to do. Sometimes it feels like everything we do is a result of the way we were brought up, and those memories can come flooding back no matter what we're doing. Our character defects, fears, actions, and defenses were all constructed before adulthood. These influence us in the present. Because o[ our childhood, we are also future-oriented dreamers. We learned to look forward to times when our worries, fears, and pains would be gone. That always seemed to be tomorrow. Everything would be all right−tomorrow. The past is behind us and the future lies ahead. We are learning the present isn't as painful, as fearful, or as uncomfortable as the past. We may look to the future for hope, but not to place all our faith into a future moment. The present is not so bad, as long as we remember it will never be repeated and our future will never be an unattainable fantasy. I can place all my faith, trust, and hope in the present. ************************************************** ~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~ Being a friend If we want to be miserable, let’s just think about ourselves. “I’m not getting what I want. That person doesn’t treat me right. I don’t deserve misfortune.” It’s easy to be miserable. But if we want happiness, we need to be a friend to someone. Let’s all share our experience, strength, and hope. If we want to know God’s love, let us show love. If we want contentment and joy, let us walk and talk with God. Do I bring happiness to others? Higher Power, help me to show the love I have. Today I will be a friend to God help me to stay clean and sober today! ************************************************** ~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~ The art of life is to show your hand. ~ C. V. LUCAS ~ Newcomer I’ve been thinking about talking to another sponsor. Not to replace you—our relationship is important to me, and I get a lot from it—but in addition to you. Sponsor We’re lucky to have such an abundance of sober experience in this fellowship. There are many of us, and we can get to know people with various lengths of time in recovery, different experiences, different styles. Knowing others and having the willingness to let others know us is one of the keys to growing in recovery. I support your wanting to enlarge your support system by taking on a second sponsor. There may be someone, for example, with whom you want to focus on spiritual matters. Your expressing your desire for additional sponsorship gives us an opportunity to take a look at our own relation-ship. You may think that I won’t be able to understand a particular issue that’s troubling you. You may be worried about how much you’ve already shared with me—many of us in this fellowship are new to letting others get close, and we may feel anxious about it. Problems with relationships are often at the heart of problems of addiction. Whatever it is, I’m open to hearing about it, and I won’t criticize your feelings or walk away. I’ve been there myself. Thank you for being willing to talk with me about your needs and plans. Today, I am willing to be honest and open with a trusted person. ************************************************** ~ THE EYE OPENER ~ Life is to a very great extent a matter of choice. It is true we do not choose our parents, our birthdays or the day on which we die but that is about all. It therefore follows we are largely what we choose to be. We made a very radical change in our lives when we chose not to drink and what further gains we make I life will be, likewise, of our own choosing. ************************************************** ~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~ COMES THE DAWN After a while you learn the subtle difference between holding a hand and chaining a soul. And you learn that love doesn’t mean leaning and company doesn’t mean security. And you begin to learn that kisses aren’t contracts, and presents aren’t promises. And you begin to accept your defeats with your head up and your eyes open, with the grace of a grown-up, not the grief of a child. And you learn to build all your roads on today because tomorrow’s ground is too uncertain for plans, and futures have a way of falling down in mid-flight. After a while you learn that even sunshine burns if you get too much. So you plant your own garden and decorate your own soul, instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.. And you learn that you really can endure, that you really are strong, and you really do have worth. And you learn and learn . . . With every goodbye, you learn. ************************************************* ~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~ UNLOAD THAT CAMEL Jesus said, It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle, than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God (Mark 10:25) The smile used by Jesus was a graphic one for his listeners. In those days every important city was surrounded by a wall for defense. There would be a large gate in the wall and this would be closed at sunset and placed under an armed guard. There was usually, however, a low wicket gate known as the needle’s eye, set in the big door. When a laden camel arrived after sunset the only way it could get in was to be unloaded of all merchandise, whereupon it would squirm on its knees through the needle’s eye. Unload your camel if you want to enter the Kingdom of Heaven. You do this, of course, not by getting rid of conditions in themselves, but by getting rid of your sense of dependency on them. Very often you will find yourself so glad to be without a lot of that merchandise that you will never put it back. ************************************************** ~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~ All in the Attitude Always give them the old fire, even when you feel like a squashed cake of ice. ~ Ethel Merman ~ You are a fantastic rider!” trail guide Frank called to eight-year- old Shanera, who felt awkward and looked self-conscious on her first horseback ride. “You look so beautiful on that horse,” he continued. “I can’t wait to get your picture!” The child lit up. Frank works magic with his riders, constantly bolstering their confidence, affirming their strengths, and lightening awkward moments. Fifteen years ago, he came to Maui with a dream of taking visitors on unique horseback treks through secret jungles and unspoiled mountains. With hard work and a dynamic attitude, his Adventures on Horseback? has attracted a steady stream of appreciative clients who ride to majestic cliffs and then picnic and swim at secluded waterfalls. He is living his dream and helping others to live theirs. Much of Frank’s success is a result of the caring he brings to all his riders. A trail ride with Frank is not just a jaunt on a horse; it is a journey into self-esteem. While some customers are nervous riding through obscure jungle trails, Frank’s unwavering attention, full presence, and unconditional support have filled his guest log with superlative comments and increasing word-of-mouth business. You can live your dreams, too—the more unique and outrageous, the better! Your best investment in making them a reality is an attitude of confidence, joy, and true caring. Make your career an exercise in giving love, and you will succeed beyond your secret hopes. Help me remember that everything I do is an opportunity to share love. My dreams are God’s dreams for me. |
May 14
Step by Step https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-8RcBCNMQR...Bprayer174.jpg Today, no more wasting energy on the thought I can't drink by saying I neither need nor want . I don't need, want or have to drink because my program has bestowed in me a fundamental character change that is rooted deeper than merely abstaining from alcohol. That change is that I have been given the strength and courage to look at and correct the reasons I drank. Today, I don't need to regret that I cannot drink now or ever again because AA has taken away the need and desire. But may I not rest on the laurels of sobriety and conscientiously practice Step 10 every day: taking a continuing moral inventory and readily admitting and taking responsibility for my mistakes. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M. ************************************************** ~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~ FEAR F.E.A.R. = Frustration, Ego, Anxiety, and Resentment. ~ Anonymous ~ We don’t want to return to the life we led before recovery, but fear should never be the reason why we don’t. Fear keeps us from being open to the Program. If we’re only in the Program because we’re afraid of the old way of life, we’ll never pay attention and open our souls to learn about the new. We’ll be too busy looking back over our shoulders to make sure the old life isn’t creeping up on us. We have to want the Program out of a desire for a new life, not out of fear of the old. Positive thinking and behaviour will be in charge if we are to make any character growth. Every fear encourages negative thinking that can destroy us. Guilt and shame come from the past, just like fear. If those feelings are what drive us, we will never grow. I will make it a practice to take note of my fears. I will take an inventory of each fear until I understand what caused it. Then I will be able to find a way to work through them. ************************************************** ~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~ It’s not so much that we’re afraid of change or so in love with the old ways, but it’s that place in between that we fear... It’s Linus when his blanket is in the dryer. There’s nothing to hold on to. ~ Marilyn Ferguson ~ The big change for us is moving beyond our addiction and codependency. Many of us didn’t feel very attached to our addiction, but we didn’t know what to do without it. We didn’t feel “normal” when we weren’t using, and it didn’t seem right to stop taking charge of others’ problems. It was hard to imagine what else to do with our time, and hard to build another way of living. In many other smaller ways, we are called on to let go of what is familiar and move into what is not yet known. This is an uncomfortable but very creative space. We know our growth was stopped by our old ways. Now, with the courage to tolerate the discomfort, we can leave our less mature selves behind and grow to become better men. Today I will tolerate feeling awkward and uncomfortable while I keep growing. ************************************************** ~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~ You can be anything you want to be if you want it bad enough and are willing to work for it. ~ Mardy Kopischke ~ Being anything we want to be sounds too good to be true. The key, of course, is being willing to work for what we want. Perfectionistic though we may be, it’s still likely that most of us want to excel in every pursuit without the necessary hard work: Playing golf four times should mean no more whiffs. Being on the job nearly every day of the month should mean mastery of the computer. There’s a difference, however, between being perfectionistic and working hard. Knowing that a hobby, a task, a sport, requires hard work shouldn’t take the fun out of it but often does. We mistakenly think that we have chosen an impossible sport if we fail to demonstrate improvement each time we play. But we can learn how to do a task if we are willing to focus our undivided attention on it. Only then can we understand its subtleties. Only then can we be open to the help our Higher Power has promised. I will be willing to work hard on every task I face today. With hard work and the willingness to practice, I will improve. ************************************************** ~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~ I am accepting my dual disorder Lately I have been feeling sorry for myself and what I’ve had to go through. Addiction and a psychiatric disorder are terrible illnesses to suffer. I feel sad about my losses−why me?−and then I get angry. But at least I am not harbouring my emotions these days. Instead, I talk about them with my sponsor. When I told her about the pity, she suggested I reread the Promises in the Big Book (pp. 83-84). By accepting her advice, I was gently reminded that despite sorrow and suffering, my life has meaning. I realize that I am becoming a more spiritual person. And through my recovery, I can help others recover, too. I will pray for steadiness in my dual recovery and carry the message of hope to others who still suffer. ************************************************* ~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~ Why pick thorns, when you can pick roses ~ P Karin W. ~ We’ve all known unhappy souls who seem to spend their whole lives collecting insults, searching for proof that the world is a terrible place. “What did he mean by that?” they wonder suspiciously. Expecting the worst, that’s usually just what they find. Bad things happen, but something positive can be found in almost every situation. Sometimes it takes close looking, but it’s there if we’re willing to apply faith, time, and elbow grease. Life is like a jigsaw puzzle; we see only one little piece at a time. Who knows what wondrous things may come from today’s misfortune? Mold growing in a pan of water turned out to be penicillin. A drug invented for use in dentistry was found to control schizophrenia. And the same rain that ruins our shoes grows our food. Unhappiness, misery, insult, death, and destruction come to us all. But so do goodness, beauty, decency, love, and comfort. We find what we look for. Today help me be patient with bad news and annoyance. Help me pick the roses instead of the thorns. ************************************************** ~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~ If you can’t feed a hundred people, just feed one. ~ Mother Teresa ~ A pebble dropped into a pond reverberates in ways that are hundreds of times bigger than the pebble itself. From the point of entry into the water, ripples emerge and extend outwards. Fish dart in the direction of the sinking pebble in the hope of obtaining a bit of food. A duck feels a small disturbance and turns. And when the pebble lands on the pond’s floor, it displaces tiny grains of sand as it settles in. All this happens, just from one tiny pebble. The slogan “Keep it simple” reminds you to avoid complications and over analysis so you can stay focused on your recovery. But it also reminds you of the importance of performing simple acts of kindness for others in the fellowship. Things you might not even think about because they are so small may turn a person’s day for the better. When you allow someone to go through a door before you, offer to pour a cup of coffee for another, or smile at a stranger, you are not saving hundreds of addicts. But perhaps, like the pebble in the pond, your simple action will have profound and positive repercussions in the life of another. Today I will remember that small, simple actions can make a big difference. ************************************************** ~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~ The pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; the optimist, the opportunity in every difficulty. ~ L. P. Jacks ~ How many times have we opted not to do something and listed countless reasons? Perhaps we've rejected a career change or geographic move or promotion. Or maybe we've passed up get-togethers or renewing friendships. What is it that tells us to say no? Looking back, we may discover we've refused changes in our lives because we'd lose our security. We may have refused friendly offers because they meant sharing ourselves with others. We may find that all we could see were difficulties coming out of change and not any enjoyment. Yet there are riches in every opportunity that comes our way. Our Higher Power doesn't put anything in our path that won't help us grow and learn. By seeing opportunities only as difficulties, we are stifling our enjoyment, growth, and pleasure. If we learn to see more opportunities as great learning experiences, we may begin to say yes. There will be opportunities that come my way. Help me learn to say yes to them. ************************************************** ~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~ Staying clean and sober We know that any skill deteriorates without practice. Likewise, staying drug-free is a skill we develop through practice. We need to learn what skills we have in working our program. How do we keep ourselves drug-free? Do we pray? Do we take daily inventory? Do we admit when we’re wrong? Do we work with others? Do we practice the Steps daily? If we’re not doing these things, we’re getting self-satisfied, and being too self-satisfied can weaken our skills. If we lose our skills, we may soon lose our sobriety and cleanness. Am I working on my recovery skills? Higher Power, help me develop the skills I need to stay clean and sober today. Today I will not rest on my laurels; I will work my program again by God help me to stay clean and sober today! ************************************************** ~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~ The best elixir is a friend. ~ WILLIAM SOMERVILLE ~ Newcomer How should I go about asking someone to hear my Fifth Step? Sponsor There are no rules about how to make a Fifth Step appointment. Some of us choose to take Step Five with a sponsor, some with a spiritual adviser or a therapist, some with a person we’ve heard share at meetings. People don’t have to be in recovery to have some understanding of how this program works and to be good role models and listeners. More important is that they honor our commitment to recovery and our purpose in taking the Step. Asking someone to perform this important role in our recovery involves discretion as well as trust. Do others have values and attitudes we respect? Is their relationship to the program a healthy one? As we do when approaching a potential sponsor, we ask, “Do we want what they have?” Are they genuinely willing? Once we’ve made a choice, we can make a simple, direct request: “I’m ready to take Step Five and want to ask if you’d be willing to hear it.” If we’re turned down, we ask another appropriate person. We can trust our experience with other people. Today, I trust my perceptions of others. I deserve to reach out to people whose quality of recovery I respect. ************************************************** ~ THE EYE OPENER ~ So many times we have seen the practicing alcoholic helped over a period of months and even years, and each time someone labored over him they were rewarded by failure after failure. Surely the Twelve Stepper had done his very best. It was apparent that this guy just didn’t want it or he was so far down the ladder he couldn’t be helped. Intelligence or common sense would say, drop him flat, yet there is hardly a group today that does not number among its regulars one or more people of this type. These men owe their present sobriety to the fact their sponsors had more heart than brains. ************************************************** ~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~ GOD’S PRESENCE I met God in the morning When my day was at its best, And His presence came like sunrise, Like a glory in my breast. All day long this presence lingered, All day long He stayed with me, And we sailed in perfect calmness O’er a very troubled sea. Other ships were torn and battered, Other ships were sore distressed; But the winds that seemed to drive them Brought me to a peace and rest. Then I thought of other mornings With a keen remorse of mind, When I, too, had loosed the moorings With this presence left behind. So I think I’ve found the secret Learned through many a troubled way; You must meet God in the morning If you want Him through the day. ************************************************* ~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~ HE USED TO DEMONSTRATE People often say that when they first came to the knowledge of truth it seemed that miracles happened almost every day. Negative conditions of long standing disappeared. Then, they say, a sort of slump seemed to set in, since which they have never been able to do so well. Now why should this be the case? The explanation is that what demonstrates is an expansion of consciousness. With an expansion of consciousness our conditions must improve. When people first learn of the omnipresence of God, they experience such an expansion. Then the tendency is to rest upon the first knowledge acquired, and to make their early realization serve over and over again. This will not do. It is only today’s realization that will demonstrate, never yesterday’s or last year’s. God is not the God of the dead, but of the living (Matthew 22:32) ************************************************** ~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~ Gas or Brake? Hast thou attempted greatnesses? Then go on; back-turning slackens resolution. ~ Thomas Herriot ~ A student in Suzanne’s self-hypnosis class complained that after she practiced the method to lose weight, she gained five pounds. "Tell me about your technique,” Suzanne said. “I sat down, closed my eyes, and went through the induction,” answered the student. “What suggestions did you use?” “I said just what we did in class last week: 'My shoulders are getting heavier...my arms are getting heavier...my legs are getting heavier...”' When we attempt to apply positive thinking and do not get the results we desire, we must look not to principles, which always work, but to our application of the principles. The laws of manifestation are impersonal; the universe will put them to work for or against us, depending on whether we apply them intelligently or erroneously. We may be praying, treating, or visioning for one result consciously, while affirming the contrary subconsciously. We pray for more abundance and then let our mind go into a tailspin of worry when we see an ominous newspaper headline. We envision a more rewarding relationship and then absorb our mind in trashy talk shows that splash abusive relationships before us life mud. We affirm good health and the get significant mileage out of telling the story of our illness. We insist we want a better future, but then protect ourselves from things that happened in the past. It is no wonder that we lurch in fits and starts when we drive with our foot on the gas and the brake at the same time! To move ahead, we cannot afford to cancel out our good work by feeding our holy mind thoughts and words to the contrary. Become aware of your subtlest indulgence in thoughts, feelings, and energies that negate the good you are trying to create. Keep coming back to what you want. Your vehicle will really begin to travel when you take your foot off the brake. I pray to keep my mind and heart on track. Help me to be faithful to my vision. I affirm the best of my visions and I let all else go. |
May 15
Step by Step Today, no immersing myself so deeply into service or 12th-Step work that I neglect my own basic needs. To put into anything the passion I spent on drinking, I will predictably suffer the same outcome of physical, emotional and spiritual emptiness - and resentment. While we are called by the 12th Step to commit ourselves to service, the quality of that service will be negligible if I have not reserved enough of myself to offer something worth giving. Today, I will guard against becoming too hungry, angry, lonely and tired - HALT - to assure that I can be the best of what the 12th Step asks of us - an effective carrier of the message. Today, I will listen to the message again. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M. ************************************************** ~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~ ESCAPING DULLNESS Men are disturbed not by things but by the views they take of them. ~ Epictetus ~ If everyone in recovery followed the principles of our 12 Step program exactly the same way, sharing would be dull and boring. The Steps are constant, but each of us in recovery work them differently, to whatever degree gives us the most serenity and spiritual growth. If all of us lived the guiding principles of recovery by habit, mechanically, without thinking, the routine would become uninteresting and tiring. We must not be afraid of adding new ideas that work for us to the tried-and-true manner of thinking we find in our Fellowship. Using our imagination properly will keep recovery continuously fresh and rewarding. Even “far-out” ideas can be useful to me if they inspire thinking and prevent complacency. ************************************************** ~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~ There is no smaller package in the world than that of a person all wrapped up in himself. ~ William Sloane Coffin ~ In self-centeredness, we are trapped within the con-fines of our own skin. It is a self-indulgence that stifles and chokes our emotional development by continuously turning us back into our own limitations, pain, and fears. The grandiose feeling of superiority is not the only way that self-centeredness grabs and holds us; feelings of shame and self-pity can also trap us. To liberate ourselves from these traps, we first get acquainted with them and name the feelings, which gives us some power over them. Next, we get outside ourselves by reaching out to help someone else who is genuinely in need. When we have a cause or a purpose greater than our own selfish goals, we escape the boundaries of our self. That’s the spiritual move toward participating in the larger whole. Today I will help someone simply out of generosity, or I will help with a cause that’s greater than myself. ************************************************** ~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~ I have always been sort of quiet and kept my thoughts to myself. I have looked to “the Man upstairs” and he has provided the answer. ~ Phyllis Elliott ~ Looking to one’s Higher Power for guidance is a tool we are using with greater ease as we continue our journey in recovery. Many of us came into this program with little or no belief in God. Coming to believe in a caring God, one who will gently guide us through every circumstance, does not happen overnight. Fortunately, God is patient. Trying to figure out how to live our lives— including what job to take, what person to choose as a mate, what opinions to have—was difficult when we didn’t know we had a Higher Power to turn to. And, as a result, we made many unfortunate decisions. But making decisions today no longer needs to be a problem. For every situation we have the answer we need and it rests with God. In the quiet places in our minds we will discover what our Higher Power thinks is best for us. We can either follow the guidance or ignore it. But it will be there for us. I will ask God to help me with the easy as well as the hard decisions I face today. Relying on God will make my life much more serene. ************************************************** ~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~ I need to keep trying Right now, I don’t much care. I’ve been straight and had slips. I’ve been stable and had setbacks. I’m tired of getting up and falling down. Lately it feels like I’m losing control again. I’m afraid I have a long way to go in my recovery. And yet now that I know what recovery feels like, I know I want it, and I know how to get there. I know, too, that if I think about past events too much, I may get discouraged and do nothing. It’s hard to accept that recovery is a process−but I want to get back on track. I will not quit trying. Today I will attend a dual recovery meeting and contact my sponsor (or therapist) for extra support. ************************************************* ~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~ Iron rusts from, disuse; stagnant water loses its purity, and in cold weather becomes frozen; even so does inaction sap the vigors of the mind. ~ Leonardo Da Vinci ~ Being idle is so easy, sometimes we want to make it a full-time job. Our lives are filled with getting to and from places, with work, with family and friends, with obligations and requirements and rules to remember. When we have spare time, we’re tempted to just sit back and take it easy. But this can be habit-forming, and soon the easy way is the only way we’re willing to go. It’s too cold to go to a meeting. It’s too much work to call our sponsor. We’ve put in a full day; now it’s time to relax and take it easy. The television comes on. It’s too much trouble to read, to think, to change. This attitude is dangerous for us. In recovery, there’s no standing still. We either go forward or we go backward. When we become more active, we soon discover we feel more alive, vital, and stronger, more excited about life, happier, and more fulfilled. We look forward to prayer and meditation, eager to commune with our Higher Power and feel His peace. There is so much to know, so much to see, so much to do in the world, and every minute of every day is our chance to be part of it. In time, we find ourselves looking forward to doing all we can do and becoming all we can become. Today help me take advantage of all that life offers me ************************************************** ~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~ The Hares and the Frogs One day the hares were discussing how they could hardly ever relax because of their fear of other animals. Just then they felt the earth tremble and saw a herd of wild horses stampeding their way. They scampered about in a panic and soon were trapped near the edge of a lake. They decided they would rather leap into the lake and drown themselves than continue living in a state of perpetual panic. But just as they were about to leap, they startled some frogs that promptly hopped into the water. The hares scanned the lake and saw that the frogs had disappeared. “Perhaps,” said one hare, “things are not as bad as they seem.” The moral of the story: There is always someone worse off than you. There are many others who are facing their own set of difficulties and challenges. To think that you are the only one who has problems, what you are going through is unique, or no one could possibly understand the hardships you face minimizes the needs of others. The program is for the good of all, not for the good of one. Rather than stay locked in your own mind-set and bemoan what you are facing, reach out to others. I will remember there are others who also require attention, comfort, and care. ************************************************** ~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~ We owe to our first journeys the discovery that place is nothing. At home I dream that at Naples, at Rome, I can be intoxicated with beauty and lose my sadness. I pack my trunk, embrace my friends, embark on the sea and at last wake up in Naples, and there beside me is the stern Fact, the sad self, unrelenting, identical fact that I fled from. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson ~ Many times we may not like what we are thinking or feeling or the way we are acting. We may try to run away, hoping a geographical move, or new job, or new set of friends will make being with ourselves more bearable. Yet no matter how we change our environment or lifestyle, those changes will not change us. We can become more bearable by changing from within. If we don't like the way we think, perhaps we can take one minute tonight and think positive thoughts. If we don't like the way we act, we can begin changing our behaviors. By changing from within, we will deal with the reasons why we want to run from ourselves. We will change the person we are running from. I can stop running and start looking at myself. How can I make myself more likable to me? ************************************************** ~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~ Giving it away each day Talent, heroism, and personal beauty. Although society admires such qualities, they don’t count much when it comes to our all- important Twelfth Step work. This work draws on all our talents and powers, but in ways that are subtle, warm, and personal. With the help of our Higher Power, we develop the power to soothe, suggest, endure, and love. The Step Twelve encounters that happen every day are more important than the work of the statesman or hero. Our program exists and grows through the giving of Step Twelve. Do I give it away each day? Higher Power, help me to see the joy of being loving and self-sacrificing. Today I will practice giving by God help me to stay clean and sober today! ************************************************** ~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~ A certain amount of distrust is wholesome, but not so much of others as of ourselves. ~ MADAME NECKER ~ Newcomer I’ve always had a hard time asking people for things. Asking someone to hear my Fifth Step seems like placing such a burden on them. Sponsor Helping other members of this fellowship to achieve freedom from addiction is part of our primary purpose. Speaking and listening to other human beings whose journey resembles ours is one of the principal ways that we maintain our recovery. Being asked to hear a Fifth Step is usually regarded as a gift, not a burden. Asking for help is a wonderful exercise in humility. It asks us to give up our idea that we’re responsible for every-thing. It asks us to trust other adults to take care of them-selves, to trust that if hearing the Step isn't feasible for them at this time, they’ll say so. It asks us to give up our idea that we’re unique and not capable of being understood, let alone forgiven, by anyone else. It asks us to let other people be close to us. Step Five dissolves the sense of separation, both for the person sharing and for the person listening. Chances are that neither will ever forget the experience. Today, a Power greater than myself is with me in all my exchanges with others. ************************************************** ~ THE EYE OPENER ~ There is such an abundance of religions, sects, creeds and cults, that it is little wonder that many thousands of non-alcoholics have thrown up their hands in disgust and proceeded to ignore them all. The poor confused alcoholic certainly could not be expected to wade through this maze of contradictions. To them the simplicity of the AA program has been its greatest attraction. Here they have been asked only to seek a God of their understanding and to accept a spirituality based on common sense and universally accepted moral standards. ************************************************** ~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~ TIME SOMEBODY TOLD ME Time somebody told me That I am lovely, good, and real. That my beauty could make hearts stand still. Time somebody told me That my love is total and so complete, That my mind is quick and full of wit, That my loving is just too good to quit. Time somebody told me How much a person wants, loves, and needs me, How much my spirit helps set that person free, How my eyes shine full of the white light, How good it feels just to hold me tight. Time somebody told me. So I had a talk with myself, Just me, nobody else, Cause it was time somebody told me. ************************************************* ~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~ GOD IS NOT BECOMING God is infinite perfection and he is not concerned with our limited ideas about time and space and matter. For thus saith the high and lofty One that inhabiteth eternity, whose name is Holy; I dwell in the high and holy place, with him also that is of a contrite and humble spirit, to revive the spirit of the humble, and to revive the heart of the contrite ones (Isaiah 57:15). God is not progressing or improving. What improves is our understanding of Him, and as this happens all our conditions necessarily improve too. There never was a time in your history when God was not all that He is today, and there never can come a time when God will be any more then He is today. God is continually expressing Himself in new ways−but this is not improvement; it is unfoldment. Your life is simply part of this unfoldment, and that is the only reason for your existing at all. You are the living expression of God now−and to understand this is salvation. ************************************************** ~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~ A Better Deal When one door shuts, another opens. He that would struggle with the world, and bear up in adversity, ought still to resolve not to be discouraged, for resolution is the mother of fortitude, and... very much conducive to our deliverance. ~ Samuel Palmer ~ While searching for an office to rent, I found an attractive space for a reasonable fee. I had a few reservations about the place—it was at a noisy intersection and the rooms were small—but I needed to move in a short time, and the quarters seemed adequate. I told the Realtor I would take it, but when I did not hear from him after a few days, I called to remind him that we had a deadline and we needed to get the lease signed. He assured me that everything was in order, and not to worry. Another week passed and I called again, with the same response. Finally, a few days before the first of the month, I told him we could no longer wait for a confirmation. He sheepishly informed me that the owner did not want to rent to me; he had looked at some of my writings and did not like my philosophy. I felt insulted and outraged. "That sounds like discrimination to me!” I righteously claimed. The Realtor tried to defend the position, but it was clear there was nothing he could do. My mind raced with anger as I felt I had been deceived and mistreated. Meanwhile, and inner voice said, “No use getting upset; this is all working on your behalf.” While driving home, I decided to take a scenic route, where I saw a storefront with a large "For Rent' sign in the window. The landlady was a lovely woman who had sold tea and held tai chi classes in the space, which was large, beautiful, inexpensive, surrounded by green life, and minutes from my home—in every way superior to the place I had lost. I rented the space, and we have been happy there ever since. Nothing is withheld or taken away from us unless something better is in store. Remember this, and bitterness will fly away forever. Help me trust that Your wisdom is operating behind the scenes at ail times. I have no use for sorrow. God is in charge of my well-being. |
May 16
Step by Step "The fact is that most alcoholics ...have lost the power of choice in drink. Our so-called will power becomes practically non-existent. We are unable ...to bring into our consciousness with sufficient force the memory of the suffering and humiliation of even a week or a month ago. We are without defense against the first drink." - Alcoholics Anonymous, Third Edition, 1976, Ch 2, p 24. Today, the lie of "just one" and my defense that rests wholly on a higher power of my understanding. I need only to review with honesty my drinking history and its trail of broken bottles that were opened on the promise of "just one drink." And if the Big Book is correct that the memory of "the suffering and humiliation" of my last try at just one drink doesn't last more than a month at best, I pray for the wisdom to search beyond the impotence of my own devices to overcome any temptation. Today, that search beyond leads me to my higher power in whom I must place my trust, faith, hope and confidence to rise above temptation. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M. ************************************************** ~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~ BEING PRACTICAL Theories are like the tail feathers of a rooster, highly ornamental but not much use in a high wind. ~ Arthur E. Holt ~ Theories for effective living are important, but unless we put them into action, they are worthless. The 12 Steps and the Slogans are among the theories which have been tested by millions who have put them into action. They have withstood the “high winds” of living. Meditation on some theories may do nothing for our recovery except make us feel better. Even this is useful. By working the kinds of behaviour and thinking in our lives that we find in theories, we make those theories into practical realities. It is less important to look well than to be well. Theories by themselves look good. Working them makes us good. What I ask for while I am on my knees in prayer is never as vital to me as what I do with the answers I receive once I am back on my feet. ************************************************** ~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~ Gossip needn’t be false to be evil—there’s a lot of truth that shouldn’t be passed around. ~ Frank A. Clark ~ To be a friend is a trust placed in us. Naturally, as we get to know someone better, and we grow closer over time, he lets us into his more private and personal world, and he does that in a spirit of trust. In a sense he is saying we may come past the fence that keeps most people out because he trusts us. Maybe he even lets us know some guarded secrets about his life. We need to be sure that we live up to the trust placed in us. Our self-respect and our character are at stake: how loyally do we honor that trust? When we attend our meetings, we hear many things that are spoken in trust. Hearing someone’s story is a privilege and an honor and with that comes our duty to honor and protect the privacy of our fellow members. When someone takes us into his privacy, it becomes our job to protect it. If we fail to keep his trust, it reflects on us as not worthy of the honor. Today I am grateful for the chance to know other men and women so well that they share their private lives with me. I honor that trust by protecting their privacy. ************************************************** ~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~ To avoid pain at all costs forces us to reject half the lessons life can teach. ~ Jan Pishok ~ If we could remember that every experience we’ll ever have is unique and offers us a lesson we will grow from, we’d accept them all with far greater ease. What’s to be afraid of anyway? God is never absent. In fact, God is present during every experience. Remembering this makes us courageous as we walk through the turmoil that interrupts the peaceful times. Before coming to this program, we feared most of the situations that called to us, and understandably so. We were often trying to do the improbable without the wisdom or the guidance that might have guaranteed success. By taking the Third Step every morning of our lives, as has been suggested, we can positively influence the outcome of every experience we’ll have. Hallelujah! I will not avoid any experience today. I’ll simply remember that God is present and that I need to know what calls to me. ************************************************** ~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~ I am right where I am supposed to be Here I am, a few months sober, wondering if the cravings will get me, wondering if my lingering depression will drag me down, wondering what’s happening to my life. As difficult as it is for me to accept at times, I have a dual disorder−and there are no simple answers. My tasks are to learn about my illnesses, work a program of dual recovery (including taking medication, as prescribed), and avoid relapse. The more I accept these tasks, the more I believe that my life will follow its true path. I will carry out each activity on today’s recovery plan. ************************************************* ~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~ Anger is a short madness. ~ Horace ~ When we’re angry, our minds and bodies are completely involved. Our blood is pumping, our pulse races, our breathing is fast and furious, and our brains are on temporary hold. We are no longer rational beings. We become anger machines, ready to put up our fists and fly off the handle on a second’s notice. In recovery, we want to be different, and learning to deal with anger is a good place to start. We’ve learned we can’t afford the luxury of split-second thinking — that’s what got us into trouble before and it’ll do it again if we let it. How do we deal with anger? We can turn our anger over to God and we can pray or meditate to find peace. Or we can try a rational approach, working to understand the other person’s point of view. We can honestly vent our anger. Or we can simply retreat, backing away until the anger subsides and we can think more clearly. All these methods give us a chance to get our breath and think twice before flying off. Now we don’t have to act on every feeling, or react to everything that happens. We can choose how we’ll handle our anger. And if our choice turns out to be inappropriate, we can learn from that as well. Today let me treat my anger as a tool for growth, not as an enemy. ************************************************** ~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~ A request not to worry... is perhaps the least soothing message capable of human utterance. ~ Mignon G. Eberhart ~ There is a fine balance between worrying in a healthy way and worrying in an unhealthy manner. Healthy worry provides you with an essential alert that enables you to take appropriate action. For example, worrying about a food allergy you have can make you more rigorous in avoiding foods that would trigger a reaction. But unhealthy worry, such as obsessing about something that may or may not happen, can make you feel as if you are drowning and clinging to yourself at the same time. Feeling nervous, anxious, or filled with dread from time to time is not unusual. But feeling such things most or all of the time can make it difficult to focus your energy anywhere else or difficult to think more rationally about your worry so you can put it in perspective. When you take the time to figure out what you are so anxious about, you might discover that your worry is not based on a reality but on what you imagine or fear might happen. Think instead about how you could best handle a situation so it does not get to that point. I will not spend my time today in useless worry. I will take action that will lessen my anxiety and fear. ************************************************** ~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~ If you don't have such a clear picture of what you want, you may become more humble. ~ Carlos Castaneda ~ When we were growing up, our parents often wished our career definitions would be specific: fire fighter, teacher, police officer, doctor, lawyer, nurse. Yet as we grew older, we may have questioned such cut-and-dried choices. We may have gone to college and majored in a subject not defined by a career. We may have chosen the business world for financial reason. We may have enlisted in the military or gotten married. Who are we now? We may just be beginning to question who we are and what we want from life. We may be dissatisfied by our choices of the past and are yearning to redefine our goals. We are changing every day. Such change has given us room to grow because our definitions of ourselves are not so clear, so rigid. Our work on Step Four teaches us to take continual inventory of ourselves. This personal inventory has enabled us to remain forever humble as we realize we are ever-changing, ever-growing persons. Tonight I can be grateful for the freedom in which the program allows me to grow. ************************************************** ~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~ Accepting our condition It is important to realize that we are alcoholics and drug addicts and not ex-alcoholics or ex-addicts. We accept the fact that we have a chronic illness and that no amount of “discipline” and no magic cure will change that. We are deluding ourselves if we think we can handle “just a little.” If we say, “I used to be an alcoholic” or “I used to be a drug addict,” then we may conclude that we can drink or take drugs and still stay in control. But for us, that’s the route to despair and, perhaps, death. Do I accept my incurable illness? Higher Power, help me never to forget who I am, what I am, and where my salvation lies. I will practice acceptance today by God help me to stay clean and sober today! ************************************************** ~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~ In the faces of men and women I see God. ~ WALT WHITMAN ~ Newcomer I’m nervous about Step Five. It’s already such a radical change for me to be honest with myself—which I guess is also a way of being honest with my Higher Power. Isn’t that enough? Do I have to shame myself in front of another person? Sponsor No, we don’t have to "shame” ourselves in front of another person; but yes, we do have to share our inventory with a human being. I’m glad that you experienced the presence of your Higher Power as you took stock of your life. Your Higher Power will also be present when you share your inventory with another person. This exchange between two people is a sacred one. The Fifth Step requires one of us to share, the other to hear, de-tails of a past in which self-centered fear and resentment took us places we don’t want to return to. It’s an experience of intimacy: both participants know each other and themselves better when they’re through. The listener is going to hear about feelings and choices that are reminders of his or her own. A listener may respond by sharing some similar experiences with us or may simply indicate to us that we’re not unique; this helps us to put our past into perspective. Step Five is just a beginning, a beginning of self-love and self-trust, a beginning of feelings of connection with the rest of humanity. In time, as recovery continues, we’ll be blessed by many opportunities to share ourselves honestly and deeply, whether at meetings or in conversations with trusted friends or loved ones. Today, I'm being healed by my honest sharing and compassionate listening. ************************************************** ~ THE EYE OPENER ~ Is revenge really sweet? Some louse has offended you, so you get even, thus offending him and becoming a louse yourself. Do you really want revenge? Then do the guy a favour. It will hurt him deep down in his heart as nothing else can. It will be a great source of satisfaction to your wounded pride and it may be that you will be additionally rewarded by the acquisition of a friend. ************************************************** ~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~ REJECTING REJECTION “God don’t make junk.” In other words, every person has an infinite spiritual worth that has nothing to do with the ordinary judgements of the marketplace and the world. Other people may reject us for both good and bad reasons, but the real Source of our existence will never turn us away. Moreover, this Higher Power is also capable of leading each of us to people and places that fit our needs and our social talents for service. Many of us who are now in recovery feel that this happened when we were being led to the Fellowship. ************************************************* ~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~ MASTER, NOT SLAVE One philosopher has defined life as adaptation to environment. He said that anything that was alive would try to survive by adapting itself to the conditions in which it had to live. There is of course a great deal of truth in this view. Life is tenacious and extraordinarily resourceful in fitting itself to unsuitable conditions. When we come to humanity, however, the Bible teaches us that man does not have to adapt himself to outer conditions but that he has the power of changing or adapting outer things to fit him. This is the vital distinction between materialism and spiritual Truth. You have within you the divine Spark−the Indwelling Christ−and by awakening and developing this, your spiritual nature, you can mold conditions to fit your needs. Man has free will, the power of reason and intuition. By learning to use these faculties he gains his dominion. It is the Bible that says that God has given man dominion over all things. The Lord will give strength unto his people . . . (Psalm 29:11) ************************************************** ~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~ Crazy Works You have to be a little cracked to let the light in. Anonymous My friend Darryl is a crazy genius. He spent time in and out of mental institutions, and I could never quite decide if he was a saint or a madman. Once I went to visit him in the day room of a locked ward where the patients milled around and had contests to see who could do the strangest things. “Do you see that man over there?” Darryl asked me. “He murdered his family.” “Oh.” “And that guy over there is a chronic rapist.” I got the picture. "Jerry over there ate 12 cats before they brought him in.” I checked my jacket for the odor of my cat, hoping Jerry wouldn’t confuse me with a feline. Just then, two of the patients got into a loud, violent argument and started to push each other around. Not seeing any attendants, I began to feel frightened that I might be pulled into a maniacal fray. Suddenly Darryl, a frail vegetarian, jumped up, forced himself between the two bulky brawlers, and shouted, "Nowyou guys cut that out right now—do you understand?" To my utter amazement, instead of squashing Darryl summarily as they could easily have, the two lugs sheepishly parted and retreated to different corners of the day room. I was stunned. “Darryl, man,” I asked as he returned, “how did you manage to get those wild men to listen to you?” “The most amazing thing happened the first day I was here,” Darryl explained. “I had no space in my room to do yoga, so I did it right here on the floor of the day room. When the other guys saw me, they thought I was a martial arts expert, and now they’re all afraid of me. They do whatever I tell them.” The Lord works in mysterious ways, and takes care of His own. Place within me the intuition to succeed in all situations; speak to me from inside my heart. I am always safe because God is always with me. |
May 17
Step by Step "He was drinking to hold on to his job, to hold on to his wife, to hold on to his sanity. Finally, he was drinking to keep away those little men, and those strange voices, and the organ music that came out of the walls." - Alcoholics Anonymous, Third Edition, 1976, Ch 8, p 512. Today, the reasons and excuses to justify drinking are now the reasons I cannot drink. If I drank out of fear of losing a job, let me not drink to keep it; if I drank with uncertainty that I might lose a spouse or loved one, let me not drink to have a chance at salvaging the relationship; if I drank to stop the hallucinations that were not real, let me not drink to extinguish them forever. The desperate excuses I used to drink can now, ironically, become the reasons not to drink. In the end, I am only drying out and not sobering up if I hinge my recovery on something other than myself. Today, I choose not to drink for myself and not to avoid a possible consequence. Today, if I can be sober for myself, I may find the strength and courage to deal effectively with whatever consequences of my alcoholism that await me. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M. ************************************************** ~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~ INTELLECTUALIZING Don’t intellectualize, utilize. ~ Anonymous ~ Many times we waste our minds by using them too much. A mind out of control can waste a life. Our mind can tell us we are better or less than another. It can tell us we need things we don’t, and that we should fear situations we needn’t. The power of the mind to intellectualize a life into a mess is amazing. Our Program should be utilized, not intellectualized. We do not need to waste time debating points about the Program. We will not resolve with other intellectuals whether or not alcoholism and drug addiction are physical diseases or bad habits. The point, for us addicts, is that we will waste our life, die or go insane if we do not stay in recovery. All we have to do is look around a meeting room to see whether or not it works. The Steps tell me HOW the Program works. The Traditions tell me why it works. My sponsor and fellow members show me THAT it works. ************************************************** ~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~ A dwarf standing on the shoulders of a giant may see farther than a giant himself. ~ Robert Burton ~ We all stand on the shoulders of those who have been our teachers, and on the shoulders of those who taught our teachers. When we pick a sponsor for our recovery, we look for someone we admire and trust, someone who has demonstrated success in his recovery. Perhaps we feel we have a long way to go and a lot to learn. Perhaps we are struck by the big job we have ahead. But all we need to do is make progress. And we don’t have to reinvent the wheel. When we learn from our sponsor and from other people in our recovery community who are making progress, we get to stand on their shoulders. They let us see much more than we could see alone. Today I am grateful for all the benefits of having a good sponsor. ************************************************** ~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~ An active listener is to be prized above rubies. ~ Ruth Humlecker ~ Giving our undivided attention to a friend can be difficult. Even though we care deeply for her and value her friendship, we often find it hard to keep our own thoughts from intruding. As she talks, we take note of other people in the vicinity. We think about the tasks we have yet to complete. And we may pass judgment on what she shares. Letting go of having these kinds of thoughts while in conversation with a friend is hard, but it’s worth the work. No encounter is an accident, and every exchange with a friend or even a stranger has its reward for us. We are God’s students every moment. When we listen, we learn how to handle situations we might face in the future. We learn to show respect through our caring attention. We grow in our understanding of the value of friendship. Perhaps most important, we learn the value of cultivating a quiet mind. Only a quiet mind can hear the words of our Higher Power coming through the gentle voice of a friend. I will be an active listener today. I am ready to learn whatever God has in store for me. ************************************************** ~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~ I can’t quit my meds just yet I don’t like taking my psychiatric medication. I don’t have insurance and I don’t have the money to keep buying it. Besides I’ve been taking it long enough−I feel better now. Sometimes I forget to take it anyway, and it doesn’t seem to make any difference. Yet, as much as I want to just quit, I have to keep in mind what my doctor told me when I got to this point before. (If I do, I’ll probably save myself additional misery.) (a) Since my medication has long-lasting effects, I might not notice a missed pill here and there, but I would notice several pills missed in a row; (b) when I go off medication, it’s medically critical to taper it; and (c) most important, even though I’m feeling better, I need to stay on my medication a while longer to prevent a setback or a relapse to addiction. If I want to make any changes in my medication, I will be sure to contact my doctor. ************************************************* ~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~ And fire is seen in the eye of the young, but it is light we see in the old man’s eyes. ~ Victor Hugo ~ Growing old is not something most people look forward to, and unfortunately prejudice against older people seems to be common in our society. Beautiful young adults have often been used as models of the ideal human form. Older people are left out entirely, or shown as clumsy, slow, and unable to think or act with grace and dignity. Yet, when we study history and current events, many of the leaders in the political, business, and artistic communities were older. There is wisdom and experience in age that can be gained no other way, as well as a perspective on life most younger people don’t even know about. We don’t need to deny our aging process. We don’t need to lie or joke about our age. Respect of self and others who are older is a sign of spiritual maturity. We may not be able to do all the things we could when we were younger, but with age comes growing wisdom, perspective, and serenity that can be a blessing if only we look for it and appreciate it in ourselves and others. Today help me give thanks for the blessings of age, and appreciate those whose years are many. ************************************************** ~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~ Spilling your guts is exactly as charming as it sounds. ~ Fran Lebowitz ~ There is a difference between sharing your information with others and spilling your guts. When you provide intimate and highly personal details of your life to those with whom you do not have a close relationship, you are not deepening the relationship but, instead, may be making others uncomfortable. While the program encourages you to look at yourself, your actions, and your behaviors with total honesty, it does not mean that you need to share every little thing you uncover with others. Telling the story of how you came into the program is one that others would like to hear, but you need to do this in a way that eliminates some of the more graphic and intimate details that can make others feel uncomfortable. The program teaches that when you listen to others, you take what you need and leave the rest. The goal of communication in recovery is to provide others with experiences and knowledge that will be of benefit to their own recovery. By taking the time to think about what you should share before you speak, you have a better chance of providing something of value—and not some-thing others will discard in the trash can. I will think before I speak. I will be open and honest in ways that benefit others. ************************************************** ~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~ Imagine how little good music there would be if for example, a Conductor refused to play Beethoven’s Fifth Symphony on the ground[s] that his audience may have heard it before. ~ A. P. Herbert ~ Long ago, before printing presses, telephones, and instant replays, our, ancestors kept records of people, information, and history by telling the same stories many times. These stories were passed down from generation to generation. People crowded into caves and huddled around roaring fires to hear the old stories. They never grew tired of hearing them, for with for with each telling could come a new insight and a renewed interest. When we hear the same things, we can tune in instead of tuning out. We can listen to each word as if it were the first time, feeling all the feelings and leaving our minds open to new insights. Perhaps we can garner a few lines to include in our own storytelling or that relate to us in particular. Conversations and stories can be the same with each telling. But we can keep them fresh by listening differently each time. As I lie down tonight, I can imagine I've regained my hearing after years of silence. I can begin to listen as if it were the first time and gain so much more. ************************************************** ~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~ Overreacting Those of us with chemical dependency have often shown just how damaging it can be to get too hungry, angry, lonely, or tired. Ironically, what we tend to get upset about aren’t the essentials. Perhaps we can learn not to panic over simple misfortune, ungrounded fears, and emotional turmoil. If we can open ourselves up to a Higher Power and a spiritual practice, we can settle down. We’ll feel a lot better about ourselves and the world. Have I stopped overreacting? May I welcome a Higher Power to help me keep perspective and stay calm. Today I will deal constructively with negative emotions by God help me to stay clean and sober today! ************************************************** ~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~ People tend to become what you tell them they are. ~ DOROTHY DELAY ~ Newcomer Someone I know keeps telling me what a great person I am. You’d think I’d love it, but it really upsets me. I don’t like the attention, and I don’t entirely believe it. Sponsor In early recovery, if someone expressed a high opinion of me, I felt as if I’d put something over on him or her; sooner or later, I thought, it would become clear what a fraud I was. Sometimes I had the opposite reaction: I ate up the praise and couldn’t get enough. My ego went clear through the roof. It took both time in recovery and the hard work of getting to know myself to accept that other people’s opinions were simply opinions, and I couldn’t base my serenity on them. I want to please other people, and I still can’t al-ways accept compliments and criticisms without being briefly knocked off my center. If three people tell me the same thing about myself, I pay attention; there may be some useful information in the consistency of others’ perceptions of me. But I don’t put conditions on self-love or self-acceptance. Today, my love for myself and others is unconditional love. ************************************************** ~ THE EYE OPENER ~ Our great triumph was not because of our victory over alcohol but because of our complete defeat. It was only when we were beaten to our knees that we sought the only help that could save us. So we came into AA, not as boastful conquerors but as cringing and bloody casualties of an unequal fight. We were whipped; we knew it; we gave not a **** who else knew it. For us it was unconditional surrender. There were and could be no reservations. ************************************************** ~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~ THE PEACE OF MEDITATION So we may know God better And feel His quiet power, Let us daily keep in silence A meditation hour. For to understand God’s greatness And to use His gifts each day, The soul must learn to meet Him In a meditative way. For our Father tells His children That if they would know His will. They must seek Him in the silence When all is calm and still. For nature’s greatest forces Are found in quiet things, Like softly falling snowflakes Drifting down on angels’ wings, Or petals dropping soundlessly From a lovely full-blown rose. God comes closest to us When our souls are in repose. So let us plan with prayerful care To always allocate A certain portion of each day To be still and meditate. ************************************************* ~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~ GET SOME DEMONSTRATIONS The royal road to progress in spiritual understanding is to solve definite problems by prayer. Every time that you heal any condition, however small, by prayer, you gain an increase in spiritual understanding. One definite healing will teach you more about spiritual truth than hours of discussion or reading. Some questions in metaphysics that readily present themselves cannot be answered without a good deal of preparation, and it is useless to try to answer them until this ground has been covered. It is useless for a student of algebra to try to understand binomial theorem if he hardly understands a simple equation. You always have enough understanding to get freedom and harmony here and now in the place where you are. Because thou hast asked . . . for thyself understanding to discern judgement . . . lo, I have given thee a wise and an understanding heart . . . (1 Kings 3:11−12). ************************************************** ~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~ The Temple While God waits for His temple to be built of love, men bring stones. ~ Rabindranath Tagore ~ When the church board interviewed me, they asked if I would spearhead a building campaign for a new sanctuary,” the minister recounted. “I told them that I could not promise a new sanctuary, but I could guarantee that I would build a new consciousness.” The movie Field of Dreams taught, “If you build it, they will come " But what is it that you must build? Because we are spiritual beings, we must nurture our thoughts and attitude above all else. If we think in harmony with truth, the outer forms will take care of themselves: "Seek ye first the kingdom of heaven, and all else shall be added unto you.” What is the use of building a sanctuary, home, or business if it is not filled with love, light, laughter, and service? There are huge edifices built to God that are conspicuously devoid of caring, compassion, and acceptance. And there are small and humble churches, business, and families that are holy temples because they are founded on love. Remember that essence is always more important than form, and all else shall be provided. Make my life a temple to Your love. May everyone I meet feel safe, cared for; served, and uplifted in my presence. My life is my gift to God. My religion is love. |
May 18
Step by Step Today, no inflated pride in a job or thing well done to the extent that I elevate myself above others, nor will I embellish any mistake to the degree that my self-confidence is so devastated that I con myself into believing I can do nothing right. Either way, the source of excess pride and a shattered self-image is an ego not centered but too far to the left or right. In the end, egoism is the character defect that, had I been thorough and honest in my Fourth Step, remains with me. And I ask my higher power to strike the proper balance. May I understand that a job well done is no license to toot my own horn and that deep disappointment with myself for making a mistake blinds me to a basic edict of the program - progress over perfection. Today, I will strive for progress and leave perfection to the power that is truly perfect. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M. ************************************************** ~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~ IF IT WORKS If it works, don’t fix it. ~ Anonymous ~ We all like to tailor our lives to suit ourselves. But we have found that the more we stamp the impression of our ego on people, the more we push them away. The more we try to control situations, the more out of control they become. When we started our Program, we needed to read “only the black” in our Big Book. We don’t need to try to improve the Fellowship by reading between the lines. If we just pay attention to what the old-timers tell us, we will save ourselves much misery. We don’t need to modify the Program to fit our needs. We need to fit our needs into the Program. We are so used to problems that sometimes, even if something works, we make it a problem just because we’re used to it. We have made ourselves experts at handling crisis because we don’t know how to handle success. We are strangers to things that work. To let working things work seems strange and unfamiliar. If it’s working, please don’t let me “fix” it. ************************************************** ~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~ When you aim for perfection you discover it’s a moving target. ~ George Fisher ~ In our desire for control, we seek the ultimate control of perfection. We try to relieve our anxieties and self-doubts by achieving it, but in fact we perpetuate our unease by seeking what cannot be attained. Some of us say, Tm not a perfectionist because I am far from perfect,” only proving that we are always measuring ourselves with that yardstick. The way to resolve this dilemma is to get a different yardstick. Instead of measuring how far we are from perfect, we could measure whether we are learning anything new. Or we can ask ourselves if we have continued to get back on the path when we veer off course. Knowing we will make mistakes, we can ask ourselves if we take responsibility for them. Knowing some things will go wrong, no matter how well we plan, we can include in our plans a vision to accept mistakes as part of the package. Today I will try to learn from whatever happens; and when something goes wrong, I will accept it and deal with it. ************************************************** ~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~ It’s all in the attitude! ~ Eileen Fehlen ~ We are learning from this program that we are in charge of our attitude. No other person or no situation can force us into a negative frame of mind. And if we have intentionally, though perhaps mindlessly, chosen to feel negative, we can instantly feel positive instead. A gentle reminder is all that’s necessary. Most of us got so used to negativity that we failed to see that we could feel otherwise. We resented women who always seemed happy and up. Now we understand, but understanding how our attitude is developed and taking charge of it are separate acts. Being consciously and actively in charge of a positive attitude takes lots of practice, but every time we succeed in changing a bad attitude to a favorable one makes change easier the next time. We will soon discover that we are just as happy as we want to be. The power rests solely with each one of us. I will be a happy woman today if that is my choice. No one can make me feel otherwise! ************************************************** ~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~ What am I feeling right now? Foe me, the first stage in recovery from my dual disorder was getting abstinent. The second stage is getting stable with my psychiatric illness (while remaining abstinent). To progress in psychological recovery−now that I am clean and sober−I want to know my true feelings. I want names for them and I want to understand them. I don’t want them to result in mood swings (or binges). I want to accept them. I want to deal with them in a healthy way. In sum, I want emotional stability. I will stop twice today to jot down how I am feeling, or what I am feeling. ************************************************* ~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~ Praise God, from whom all blessings flow. ~ Bishop Thomas Ken ~ It’s easy to keep wanting more and to forget to give thanks for the blessings we already have. The world is such a beautiful place. We can spend eternity taking it all in, appreciating the wonder all around us. Sometimes, we get caught up in our petty affairs or become so absorbed in our day-to-day lives that we forget to observe. At those times, we may notice only what we don’t have, rather than giving thanks for what we have. When that happens, it’s time to stop and look around. Comfort and beauty surround us, if only we take a moment to appreciate them. Our Higher Power has given us a universe of opportunity, free for the asking. We are in recovery. We have the dazzle of sunrise and sunset, the complex workings of our own bodies, friends who are changing like we are, friends who care, and a program to follow for a new life. It may be a struggle, and we may be tempted to give up, but part of recovery is taking time to notice what we have. So many blessings are ours, and life is filled with so much to be thankful for, if only we can learn to look for it. Today help me see beyond everyday matters and realize the richness of my life. Help me to see what I have, rather than what I don’t have, or what I think I should have. ************************************************** ~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~ If what I am watching evaporated before my eyes, I would remain. ~ Anne Truitt ~ When you become so absorbed in an intimate relation-ship that all you want to do is spend time with that person or have that person spend time with only you, you are overly needy. When you think about people, places, and things more than you do yourself, you can become so dependent upon them that you would be lost without them. Caring deeply about others is not the same as not being able to live without them. Loving your job is not the same as immersing yourself in work every waking hour or while you are on vacation. Such behaviors deprive you of developing or strengthening a conscious contact with yourself or with a Higher Power. You may forget that you exist apart from whomever or whatever it is you are focusing on. You may neglect to do the things you need to do for yourself and in your recovery. And you may become detached from your connection to a far bigger universe. Today you need to reframe your interactions in ways that leave you with time for yourself. You can begin by imagining your life without the person, place, or thing you obsess about and say, “I will still exist.” I will practise conscious detachment from people and habits so I can attach to myself. ************************************************** ~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~ After 8,000 unsuccessful trials on a nickel-iron storage battery, Thomas Edison said, "Well, at least we know 8,000 things that won't work." ~ Robert Millikan ~ If we don't believe we will be successful, all our efforts are doomed from the start. If we fear success or prefer the norm, we will not want to succeed. If we've been let down many times before, once more will make us want to give up. The bottom line is: How badly do we want to succeed at our goals? Thomas Edison worked eagerly to discover the battery. He looked at his unsuccessful attempts not as failures but as information. He turned what some may see as failures into successes even though he didn't achieve the results he wanted. If we want something desperately, we can choose to do all we can to get it. We can change our attitudes about the results by looking at them not as failures but as accomplishments. Then we can try a new way and not give up until we have exhausted all possible ways. If we work hard at it, we will be successful. Tonight, I can keep a positive outlook and a strung determination. ************************************************** ~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~ Handling stress Sometimes we feel stress—anxious, irritable, achy. We can’t think straight. We worry and wonder what’s wrong. Before the mountains arose, there was stress in the earth, internal pressure; something had to change. So, too, with us. Before change happens in us, we feel stress. But if we continue to work the Steps, work with others, and attend meetings, one day we will find that we have changed for the better. Am I learning to handle stress? Higher Power, help me keep in mind what I want to become; help me stay faithful during times of stress. I will change the way I handle stress today by God help me to stay clean and sober today! ************************************************** ~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~ Things do not change; we change. ~ HENRY DAVID THOREAU ~ Newcomer Things look like they aren’t going too badly on the outside. But on the inside, I’m a mess. Sometimes I feel close to panic or despair. What’s wrong with me? Sponsor Recovery allows us to get on with our lives. There’s no prescribed schedule, and there’s no rush. In time we find appropriate work, take care of health matters, become financially responsible. We create homes for ourselves and discover who our peers are and how we want to spend our time. It’s not unusual for our external lives to become repaired more quickly and easily than our internal ones. Some of the feelings we’re experiencing are responses to things that happened some time ago. In recovery, we begin looking at the past through a different lens. We have spiritual tools that can help lift depression and anxiety. New experiences and outcomes become part of our memory bank. Our outlook changes. Comfort and joy become part of our emotional vocabulary. Today, I experience myself as growing more comfortable in my own skin. ************************************************** ~ THE EYE OPENER ~ Think back to those days when we would creep off to our dens where we were holed up, and there like animals try to satisfy our appetites alone−so horribly alone. Just drinking, drink after drink, and dying slowly of despair. If we had a friend in the world we didn’t know it. We just wanted to drink and die alone. It was people who brought us out of this pit, people of marvellous sympathy and understanding, and now, joining hands with these people, we have learned the joy of living−not alone, but with, and a part of a community of people. ************************************************** ~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~ THE BIKE RIDE At first I saw God as my observer, my judge, keeping tract of the things I did wrong, so as to know whether I merited heaven or hell when I die. He was out there sort of like the President. I recognized His picture when I saw it, but I didn’t really know him. But later on when I recognized my Higher Power, it seemed as though life was rather like a bike ride; but it was a tandem bike, and I noticed that God was in the back helping me pedal. I don’t know just when it was that He suggested we change places, but life has not been the same since . . . life with my Higher Power, that is. God makes life exciting. When I had control, I knew the way. It was rather boring, but predictable. It was the shortest distance between two points. But when He took the lead, He knew delightful long cuts, up mountains, and through rocky places and at breakneck speeds. It was all I could do to hang on! Even though it looked like madness, He said “pedal.” I worried and was anxious and asked, “Where are You taking me?” He laughed and didn’t answer, and I started to trust. I forgot my boring life and entered into the adventure; “I’m scared,” He’d lean back and touch my hand. He took me to people with gifts that I needed, gifts of healing, acceptance, and joy. They gave me their gifts to take on my journey; our journey, God’s and mine. And we were off again. \he said, “Give the gifts away. They’re extra baggage, too much weight.” So I did, to the people we met, and I found that in giving I received, and still our burden was light. I did not trust Him at first, in control of my life. I thought He’d wreck it. But He knew bike secrets, knew how to make it bend to take sharp corners, jump to clear high places filled with rocks, fly to shorten scary passages. And I’m learning to shut up and pedal in the strangest places, and I’m beginning to enjoy the view and the cool breeze on my face with my delightful constant companion, my Higher Power. And when I’m sure I can’t do any more, He just smiles and says, “PEDAL!” ************************************************* ~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~ LET GOD MAKE YOU WORTHY Never hesitate to approach God in prayer because you are not worthy. If we had to wait until we were worthy, no one would ever find salvation, because we cannot make ourselves worthy. Turn to God, just as you are, and, however sinful you may feel yourself to be, God will begin to make you worthy, as long as your turning to him is wholehearted. Only God can cancel mistakes and rebuild our lives. The more sense of guilt we may have the more reason is there for turning to Him. The very fact that you are praying means that God Himself has initiated the prayer, and what thought can be greater than this? Ho, every one that thirsteth, come ye to the waters, and he that hath no money; come ye, buy and eat . . . (Isaiah 55:1). ************************************************** ~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~ Screams or Music? Be aware that a halo has to fall only a few inches to become a noose. ~ Dan McKinnon ~ When the Beatles’ 1995 reunion was accompanied by a in-depth television documentary on the incomparable talent and success, the band members spoke candidly about their experience. Being the best-known and most sought-after people on the planet wasn’t all fun and games. “After two years of intense touring and fending off all kinds of people who wanted something from us, we were bored, frustrated, and going buggy,” one of the Beatles noted. “Our music was stagnating because we couldn’t hear a note we were playing, and neither could the screamers. You can’t grow, improve, or be creative in that kind of atmosphere.” Subsequently, the group quit touring and put their energy into innovative recording, which proved to be the most productive and rewarding segment of their career. During that period, the Beatles released Sergeant Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band, which became a landmark in music history and one of the most celebrated albums of all time. We cannot breathe or wax creative in an atmosphere of inappropriate adoration or limelight. Nor can we truly enjoy the object of our affection if we are hysterical over it. The world would tell us that fame, fortune, and worldly approval equal success. Yet these men who were the most famous in the world eventually wanted no part of the mania. The only true measure of success is peace, happiness, and spiritual reward. Worldly accolades mean nothing in the Kingdom of Love. I pray that my intentions remain pure and that I put Spirit before any worldly illusions or distractions. I move forward with my vision on peace. I succeed because my heart is pure. |
May 19
Step by Step " ...(W)hat about the real alcoholic? He may start off as a moderate drinker; he may or may not become a continuous hard drinker; but at some stage of his drinking career he begins to lose all control of his liquor consumption, once he starts to drink." - Alcoholics Anonymous, Third Edition, 1976, Ch 2, p 21. Today, no searching for a reason to deny my addiction by twisting the reference to a "real" alcoholic. If I drank only beer, how can I be an alcoholic? If I drank only on weekends or even one day a weekend, how can I be an alcoholic? If I drank only to relax or calm my nerves, how can I be an alcoholic? If I never lost a job, a spouse or partner, if I never got nailed for DUI or spent a night in the county jail's drunk tank, how can I be an alcoholic compared to the "real" one who drank every day, to the "real" alcoholic whose job history makes him now virtually unemployable, or to the "real" alcoholic who has been in jail so many times that he has his name engraved in the cell? Today, may I understand and finally accept that because I lost control over drinking regardless of how much or how often I drank, I am as much the "real" alcoholic as the one who now is serving a prison sentence for what he did when he was drunk. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M. ************************************************** ~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~ HEALTHY THINKING Knowledge of “the answers” never made anyone relapse. It was failing to practice “the answers” known. ~ Anonymous ~ The quality of our lives will always depend on the way we think. When anxiety, stress, and tension begin to threaten our hard-won piece of mind, we must not blame our retreat from serenity on outside forces. We can get back in line with comfortable living when we remind ourselves that we have been thinking wrong about something. It may be complacency: “I’ve got all the right answers.” Perhaps we’ve been thinking selfishly or suffering twinges of jealousy and envy. Are we viewing others with anger or resentment, being fearful of falling short of goals? We learn in recovery to examine our thinking. Positive thinking is my guarantee that serenity will continue to make me willing to accept myself as the author of my own attitudes, not a victim of outside forces. ************************************************** ~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~ How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives. ~ Annie Dillard ~ Today is our life. Even though we are drawn to live in the past or have fears and hopes for the future, we only exist in the present. This moment is all we have, and it is enough. There is no need to center our thoughts on how things will turn out in the future because we are alive right now, and this is our life. Our memories exist only in our minds; they enrich the present, but we have no opportunity to relive them. As we live in this moment and center our awareness in this moment, we have a sense that we can deal with it. Feeling overwhelmed comes from trying to take too big of a bite of time. It’s more than anyone can swallow. In this moment, as we sit in our place, we have sensations of sight and sound and touch. We can deal with this moment and that is all we need to do... ever. Centered in this very time and this very place, we regain our peace of mind and our ability to live well. Today is all I need, for today is my life. ************************************************** ~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~ My parents told me that I could do and be any-thing I really wanted. I believed them. ~ Molly McDonald ~ The encouragement we get from other people strengthens our willingness to try new pursuits. Unfortunately, many of us did not receive an upbringing that nurtured our confidence; thus we have developed a reliance on trusted friends to give us the gentle forward push. Our courage to take a course, confront an intimidating situation or person, or apply for a more challenging job is often borrowed from a friend. And that is okay. In fact, that is good. Developing a healthy dependence on others’ honesty and sincere support deepens our connection to the human community. The hand of a friend is a genuine blessing, a gift from one’s Higher Power. We will each need a hand on occasion, and we will just as often have opportunities to help another woman find her strength, her power, to make a new start. Being ready to give as well as receive the hand of encouragement is God’s will in action. I will look for opportunities to encourage another person today. My own strength and courage will be enhanced in the process. ************************************************** ~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~ I can deal with this slip I feel guilty. I feel ashamed. I loathe myself for having had a slip. Things were going along fine−my Twelve Step meetings, meds, outpatient treatment−and then I woke up with a hangover. What happened? What did I do? I feel like crawling under a rock. And yet−I’ve come this far. I know what it’s like to be sober and stable. And I know what to do to stay sober and stable. I don’t want to let this slip turn into a full-blown relapse. I don’t want to slip back into the chaos of the old days, before I got help for my dual disorder. What I need know is prayer and a little more help. I will talk to my sponsor to help me forgive myself and to explore what led up to the slip. ************************************************* ~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~ Fear knocked at the door. Faith answered. No one was there. ~ Unknown ~ Fear invades so much of our lives, spreading like a blanket of heavy fog. Fear wears many masks: doubt, procrastination, alarm, timidity, shock, terror. Fear has knocked on our door and we have let it in. To be human and accept our limitations is to accept that we cannot make it without help. When we accept our humanness, we learn we are truly deserving of the help available from our Higher Power. Recovery has brought us faith — faith that our Higher Power will show us a new way to live, with confidence in ourselves and our friends in recovery. Faith lights the way and burns off the blanket of fog that once shrouded our lives. Faith is our weapon against fear, as fear slowly leaves our lives. Today may I he open to the power of faith, and live in the light. ************************************************** ~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~ No day is so bad it can’t be fixed with a nap. ~ Carrie Snow ~ When the batteries wear down in a flashlight, first the light dims. You may shake the battery and, for a short time, the light may glow. But soon it will go out completely. By simply adding new batteries, you restore the light. The same is true for your own level of energy and capacity for accomplishment. Work too hard, stubbornly refuse to leave a task unfinished, or burn the candle at both ends, and eventually you will be worn down. Your thinking will become confused and your body will feel exhausted. But by getting a good night’s rest, taking a short nap, or even taking a break, you can restore your energy so you can start anew. Rest is not a matter of doing absolutely nothing. It simply means slowing your pace, becoming less active, and changing your focus to something different. Rest is a requirement for human restoration. Although you may not literally feel your body being rejuvenated when you break away from intense activity or fall into a deep sleep, you know how different you feel when you arise. Rest allows the time to release tension so you can return to a normal, balanced state. Today I will remember to recharge my batteries through rest so I can shine brightly throughout the day. ************************************************** ~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~ Happiness is knowing that you do not necessarily require happiness. ~ William Saroyan ~ Do we believe happiness comes from material things? Yet stereos break down, clothes become worn, and cars attract scratches and dents. Do we believe we will be happy with a promotion or move? Yet new jobs and new homes soon become old jobs and old homes. We'll yearn again for another change, another challenge. The struggle to attain happiness becomes easier when we realize we can be happy without having to struggle for it. We can be happy just by knowing we don't have to have the new car or the new home or perfection in our lives. Our happiness can come from just being ourselves, living each day, doing what we need to do for ourselves. To be happy means we don t need to struggle to find happiness. Tonight I can be hoppy with myself and where I am right now. ************************************************** ~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~ Living according to principles If we live according to spiritual principles, we will know harmony in our lives. If we ignore these principles, our harmony will be destroyed. Fortunately the principles are constant. Once we recognize our mistakes, our task is to once again apply the principles we learned and harmony will return. Am I living according to spiritual principles? Higher Power, help me to be aware of and live according to principles. Today I will apply my spiritual principles by God help me to stay clean and sober today! ************************************************** ~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~ You know, a heart can he broken but it keeps on beating just the same, ~ FANNIE FLAGG ~ Newcomer I hear people at meetings talking about depression as if it’s a pretty serious thing. I wonder if I’m depressed; I feel down a lot of the time. But doesn’t everyone get sad? Sponsor There’s a big difference between sadness and depression. When we consistently block our tears, perhaps having been taught that they were wrong, perhaps not trusting that we’ll be safe if we shed them, our sadness remains dammed up inside us and depression sets in. For some, it’s not sadness that is being denied expression, but anger. Long-held anger, like unexpressed sorrow, acts like a toxic substance within us. Our connections to ourselves, other people, and our Higher Power are affected. There are chemical contributors to depression, too. Alcohol and other sedative drugs depress our physiological systems; antihistamine use can have a depressant effect, and so can excessive intake of the kinds of fats that clog our systems. When we’re depressed for long periods, it’s hard for us to take initiative. Simple tasks seem like immense challenges. We feel emotionally flat. Our attitude toward others may be sullen. We didn’t get sober to drift in the no-world of depression. As with other ailments, there is help for depression in recovery. Today, I release my feelings without self-censorship or shame. ************************************************** ~ THE EYE OPENER ~ Until man looks upon the faith of God, he cannot, with his limited faculties, know God. We can and do know some of His attributes as He has disclosed them to us in the world. We can, however, study ourselves. We can cultivate these good qualities we discern and we can eradicate the bad. We do know many of the attributes of God and we can emulate them. We can aspire to Godlike virtues and if we thwn do not know God, perhaps God will know us. ************************************************** ~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~ THIS DAY This is the day which the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it. ~ Psalm 118:24 ~ ************************************************* ~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~ YOUR GREAT OPPORTUNITY Your present problem is your great opportunity. Your own mind−the Secret Place, as Jesus called it−is the council chamber where the arrangements and decisions for your whole life are made; it is also the drafting room where the plans for your destiny are formed. Your life is your laboratory. The world is your workshop. The reason that you are here is that you may develop spirituality; and the way to do that is to meet the challenge of practical life. You do not develop spirituality by running away from life into some sheltered retreat. Nor do you grow in spiritual stature by gaining your point through will power. It is the law that any difficulties that can come to you at any time, must be exactly what you need most at the moment to enable you to take the next step forward by overcoming them. The only real misfortune, the only real tragedy, comes when we suffer without learning the lesson. I pray not that thou shouldst take them out of the world, but that thou shouldst keep from the evil (John 17:15). ************************************************** ~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~ Sleeping Beauty My soul, sit thou a patient looker on;, judge not the play before the play is done; her plot has many changes, every day speaks a new scene, the last act crowns the play. ~ William Shakespeare ~ Rob and Angela had a very difficult time with their teenage daughter Mindy, who went through many turbulent adolescent trials that caused her parents to wonder if they had somehow failed. On the eve of Mindy’s departure for college, the family went out to dinner. As soon as everyone was seated, Mindy handed each of her parents and her younger brother an envelope. As the family read the enclosed cards, tears began to flow. Mindy had written long, sincere, heartfelt letters of appreciation to all of her family members, carefully thanking them for all the gifts of love they had given her, honoring them for preparing her so well to go out into the world as a whole person. “In that moment," Angela told me, “it was all worth it.” When you serve or support someone, do not be fooled by appearances. Temporary circumstances may not be a true reflection of longterm benefits. Just keep offering the highest gifts you can, while trusting that one day you will be able to say, “It was all worth it.” Help me to serve today without being attached to results. I will do my part, trusting You to do Yours. The love I invest in my relationships returns to me multiplied many times over. |
May 20
Step by Step "In spite of (a) great increase in the size and the span of this Fellowship, at its core it remains simple and personal. Each day, somewhere in the world, recovery begins when one alcoholic talks with another alcoholic, sharing experience, strength, and hope." - Alcoholics Anonymous, Forward to the Third Edition, 1976. Today, do not diminish the enormity of personal recovery by thinking that ours are insignificant among the millions of others who have found recovery in AA. The program empowers us and our recovery by telling us that our own and another person's hope begins one-to-one when two alcoholics talk to each other and share their experience, strength and hope. In turn, the alcoholic whose recovery began by talking to another alcoholic passes on his own experience, strength and hope. Today, we embrace with gratitude and humility the significance of our recovery along with those millions of others because, without our experience, strength and hope to pass on, our Fellowship will not increase in size, span or power in its message of reconciliation and redemption. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M. ************************************************** ~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~ SHORTCOMINGS Search our shortcomings and convert them. ~ Anonymous ~ One of the hardest things to do is look at our own shortcomings when we are angry at someone. It seems impossible to believe at such times that something may be wrong with us. This is the reason we are so often instructed to count to ten. When we find ourselves so out of sorts, so internally disrupted, there is usually something wrong with us. It is our first obligation to take care of ourselves. It is out of love for ourselves that we withdrawal and take a spot check inventory. The spot inventory does not demean or humiliate us. On the contrary, the purpose is to speak with God briefly, check our vital signs, and clean out our connections. I always need my connection with God. Nothing works without a clear, clean, strong, conscious contact with my Higher Power. ************************************************** ~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~ When you lose, do not lose the lesson. ~ H. Jackson Brown, Jr. ~ The only mistakes we are doomed to repeat are the ones we fail to learn from. Life is a matter of approximating our goals, seldom a matter of hitting the bulls- eye. We take risks, sometimes we fail to understand what we are dealing with, and sometimes we just indulge ourselves in what we want regardless of what is good for us. So, in some ways, we are constantly re-measuring the difference between what we aimed for and what we actually achieved. If we only mourn the loss or berate ourselves for missing the target and never use it to learn, we have truly lost something important. It is when we call on our inner resources and learn the lesson that we get better and stronger. Learning is the most important part of our life journey. Today I will look for the lessons in my mistakes and let go of defeatist attitudes. ************************************************** ~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~ Ultimately, the only thing we have to share is our own vulnerability. ~ Kathy Kendall ~ Giving up our secrets is the only path to the health and wholeness we deserve. Paradoxically, we’re drawn closer to the women we admire when we talk about the parts of ourselves we abhor. We’re really not as awful as we suppose. We’re no different from every other woman walking this path. Mistakes, even the horrid ones, are human and repeated less frequently when the principles of this program guide us. Each day, in order to strengthen the bond that heals each of us, we can let others know the person we are. By isolating ourselves with “our history” we deprive the women sharing our journey of the very information they need for insight into growth and healing. Conversely, by giving up our secrets we too can grow and heal. I won’t hold back my truth today unless it would harm the listener. Healing is what I seek. ************************************************** ~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~ I am beginning to see improvements I realize that recovery is a slow, subtle process with periods of growth and then plateaus. But over the past few weeks I am happy to see improvement in the three areas of my life affected by my dual disorder: I feel less irritable and more patient (emotional); I am sleeping better and my stomach trouble has cleared up (physical); I’ve settled on a home group and I now have a sponsor (spiritual). I am grateful to claim another chip at my dual recovery meeting this month. It help me see that I can change, that my life is getting better, and that the program truly works. I will tell my group (or sponsor) about the two most important things I did during the past month to help myself recover. ************************************************* ~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~ Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off the goal. ~ Hannah More ~ How many times have we read or heard stories of people who achieved greatness despite all sorts of obstacles? We may think there was something about their genetic makeup that enabled them to do more than the rest of us. That is not the case. People who achieve their goals despite many obstacles are not superhuman. What they may possess, at times, is an intense, clear focus on the goal they wish to achieve. It’s like walking across a log 30 feet above the ground. If you focus on the goal — the platform at the end of the log — you are likely to walk across. But, if you take your eyes off the goal and look elsewhere, say, at the ground below, you will probably think about falling and not reach the goal. Sobriety and abstinence are the goals for us. We may wonder if we can achieve these goals because of the obstacles we face. But we have help from our Higher Power and Twelve Step program. If we focus on our goals each morning and remember those goals throughout the day and in the evening, we can avoid the obstacles we face and find success and joy in our new lives. Today help me to keep my goals of sobriety and abstinence in constant sight. ************************************************** ~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~ Prayer does not use any artificial energy, it doesn’t bum up any fossil fuel, it doesn’t pollute. ~ Margaret Mead ~ When you are hungry, you eat. When you are tired, you sleep. When you feel bored, you seek stimulation. When you injure yourself, you give your body time to heal. When you do not understand something, you seek knowledge. You can take care of such things without really thinking about them. But how well do you take care of your spiritual needs? More often than not, you may ignore them as they do not cry out for attention like your other needs do. But without prayer, you may not be able to handle stress as effectively as you could. You may be able to cope with life and do well in remaining free from your habit, but you may not be able to develop a sense of inner peace. Prayer is something as essential to you as eating. It provides you with nourishment that develops a feeling of being fulfilled. It restores your soul and provides healing energy. It offers answers that can help ease confusion. And it can lighten your outlook so that your burdens do not seem so heavy. I will make time today for prayer and peaceful connection with a Higher Power. When I pray, I will be cultivating inner peace and adding enrichment to my life. ************************************************** ~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~ You just have to learn not to care about the dust-mice under the beds. ~ Margaret Mead ~ Perfection is something many of us strive for. We want the perfect marriage or relationship. We want the perfect house and perfect clothes. We want the perfect job and we yearn to be the perfect employee. We want perfection in our personalities and in all our actions. Perfection means being perfect-no faults or blemishes. Sometimes we see perfection by a gymnast who scores a perfect ten. Yet every time that gymnast performs, she doesn't always score a ten. She is not perfect all the time, or even most of the time. We can experience momentary perfection. Perhaps we earn an "A” or write a faultless business proposal or complete a knitting project without a dropped stitch. But these accomplishments don't mean we will always be perfect. We need to see ourselves as imperfect and allow the dropped stitches, the "Bs," and the 9.5 scores to exist. They let us see we are perfect in a special way−we are perfectly imperfect human being! Nothing has to be perfect, as long as I give it my best effort. ************************************************** ~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~ Looking for a Higher Power To stay clean of mood-altering chemicals, it is important to find a Higher Power—a personal Higher Power. Not one based on someone else’s ideas, not one based on someone else’s beliefs, but a Higher Power that speaks intimately to us alone. Our histories are different; our recoveries are different. The kind of relationship we develop with our Higher Power may well be different too. Am I finding my personal Higher Power? I pray to develop a personal relationship with my Higher Power. Today I will work in a personal relationship with my Higher Power by God help me to stay clean and sober today! ************************************************** ~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~ Hell’s rather out of date. ~ ALFRED SUTRO ~ Newcomer What can I do about depression, short of getting professional help? Sponsor In recovery, we can begin addressing depression physically, mentally, and spiritually. We can exercise (aerobic activity, half an hour a day, five days a week, is a powerful and healthy mood changer). We can eat nourishing food and avoid depressants like alcohol and other sedatives. We can begin to understand and feel compassion for ourselves as we share at meetings and work the Twelve Steps in a com-mitted and thorough way. We can let the program serve as a gateway to spiritual practice and connection. Depression, if indeed that’s our problem, is an illness that must be taken seriously and addressed accordingly. If we’re suffering, there is absolutely nothing wrong with seeking professional help. Consulting a therapist doesn’t have to mean taking antidepressant drugs. Sometimes, though, medication is clearly indicated; many people in recovery have been helped by it without compromising their recovery in any way. We don’t get less sober by getting help. Today, I take my mental, physical, and spiritual needs seriously; I reach out for help when I need it. ************************************************** ~ THE EYE OPENER ~ Our lives today are a series of compromises. Legislators enact laws which are compromises to both contending factions. Juries bring in verdicts which they don’t even profess to be in accordance with the law and the evidence, and excuse their verdicts on the ground that it was a necessary compromise. Even the religions of the day are frequently adjusting their codes of do’s and don’ts in order to effect a compromise with their more liberal elements. Our national and international relations are based upon political expediency rather than sound political principles of justice. When moral principles are involved there is no such thing as compromise−it must be either morally right or morally wrong. ************************************************** ~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~ THE GREAT REALITY Let the Great Reality govern my every thought, and Truth be the heart of my life. For so it must be for all humanity. Please help me to do “my part.” And may the intensity of all our egos become the Joy of our One Soul. ************************************************* ~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~ HOW DO YOU FEEL? Really there are only two feelings that a human being can have, namely love and fear. It is generally supposed that the kinds of feeling we may have are legion, but this is an illusion. All other feelings, so-called, will turn out upon analysis to be either love or fear. What about anger? Well, anger is really but fear in disguise. In chemistry we occasionally find the same substance occurring under completely different appearances. For example, black lead is exactly the same substance chemically as a diamond, different as they look. They are said to be allotropic forms of carbon. In the same way, anger, hatred, jealousy, criticism, egotism, are all but allotropic forms of fear. Joy, interest, the feeling of success and accomplishment, the appreciation of art, are allotropic forms of love. The great difference between the two feelings is that love is always creative, and fear is always destructive. It is for us to decide which of these two feelings shall hold sway in our lives. God is love; and he that dwelleth in love dwelleth in God, and God in Him (1 John 4:16). ************************************************** ~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~ Stand by Your Plan Believe that with your feeling and your work you are taking part in the greatest; the more strongly you cultivate in yourself this belief, the more will reality and the world go forth from it. ~ Rainer Maria Rilke ~ The story behind the making of the blockbuster film Forrest Gump is as fascinating as the movie itself. After the script was pitched for nine years, Paramount finally took it on. When the movie went ten million dollars over budget (due largely to the special-effects scenes in which Forrest Gump visits well-known historical figures), the studio decided to finish the film without those scenes. Actor Tom Hanks and two producers urged the studio to invest more money in completing the special effects, but the studio refused and countered with the offer that if the principals wanted to invest two million dollars of their own funds, they could have a larger share of the box-office gross. The principals felt the movie was worth it, and took the risk. To everyone’s surprise, Forrest Gump became the third highest-grossing film of all time, earning over $300 million. The principals laughed all the way to the bank, and Tom Hanks received $30 million as his share. If you believe in what you are doing, you will be asked to stand behind it fully. If you are true to yourself, you will act as if your goal is worth enormous support. Why would you be involved in any project that you could not put your whole heart and soul into? The Forrest Gump investors gave it 100 percent; they could not bear to stop with less. Throw yourself wholeheartedly into the task at hand. Anything worth doing is worth doing well. Live what you believe in, and the world will reward you many times over. Inspire me to give all I have to what I believe in. I support my visions with my whole heart. |
May 21
Step by Step Today, if I get frustrated or overwhelmed by the responsibilities with which sobriety has entrusted me, I will slow down to remember gratitude and humility, if for no other reason than I once could not be trusted with the responsibilities that I have being sober. Sobriety and recovery have given me a purpose and sense of inclusion that drinking took from me. But although sober and (hopefully) getting better emotionally and spiritually day by day, I must guard against a reckless or stupid moment in which what I have gained is destroyed - by me. Today, even if the candle burns at both ends, I will be grateful that my candle even has a flame. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M. ************************************************** ~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~ JEALOUSY The jealous are troublesome to others, but a torment to themselves. ~ William Penn ~ The disappearance of jealously is a wonder to behold in the life of a recovering person. The world before our Program was a world of want for us. We never seemed to have enough of anything. Nothing was ever quite right. There was a constant sense of an incomplete world and that life wasn’t fair. What was so painful for us was our wicked jealousy of those who seemed to have what we wanted. This created deep resentments. Now life is different for us. We have more than we can ever use because the supply is limitless. What we desire now can’t be measured. It’s there for the taking. And it has nothing to do with what we wanted before. Our spiritual awakening has revealed a world of abundance and fulfillment. The Program has given me what I need. I am no longer jealous of what others have. ************************************************** ~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~ A man does not seek to see himself in running water, but in still water. For only what is itself still can impart stillness to others. ~ Chuang-tse ~ Our own reactivity has often escalated a problem rather than helped to resolve it. But we can learn to be less reactive. All of us have a range of responses. At our worst we may lash out in abusive anger. At our best we try to be tolerant and understanding. When we are exhausted or depleted in other ways, we are more prone to react from our worst self. And our harsh reaction only makes a crisis worse. We can change our pattern of reactivity and give our best response by developing an inner calm. Then we always have access to our better self, and we are less prone to take things personally. That doesn’t mean we are always placid or passive, because sometimes our best self needs to rise up and say no! When we are calm, we can respond most effectively, either with open tolerance or with a “no” if it is called for. Today I will maintain an inner calm as I deal with the issues that arise. ************************************************** ~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~ My sense of balance depends on my sense of humor. ~ Joan Malerba-Foran ~ We’re surrounded by situations worth laughing over. Being human means making mistakes, and many of them are humorous. Being able to laugh at ourselves isn’t all that easy, however. If we grew up in rigid, shaming, or abusive families, we may feel inadequate and ashamed when we make a blunder. Hearing our recovering friends laugh at themselves is wonderful training for us. We learn by their example that a good laugh takes the sting out of chaos. That, in turn, offers a balance to our lives. Without some levity, we can get far too serious and let every obstacle become more than it needs to be. Laughter not only gives balance to our lives but also is healing, some believe physically as well as emotionally. One thing is certain: few experiences appear too bleak if observed through smiling eyes. I will be willing to chuckle many times today, and I’ll go to bed much happier. ************************************************** ~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~ The Twelve Steps are important to me Soon after I left home, I stopped going to church. With mental and chemical illness in my family−and little spiritual foundation of my own−I soon felt lost and alone in the world. Eventually I became addicted and emotionally ill. But in dual recovery, once again I have a spiritual guide, the Twelve Steps. They are simple, affirming, and practical. They ask only that I seek sobriety and stability. And yet I find that the more I embrace the Steps and a sober, spiritual life, the more I get out of them. Had I not found them, I might have lost my life altogether. I am deeply grateful for these Steps. At my meeting I will show how the Steps have begun to restore my life, spiritually and emotionally. ************************************************* ~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~ How poor are they that have not patience! What wound did ever heal but by degrees? ~ William Shakespeare ~ Do we often begin the day worrying about all that has to be done? Even feeling unable to act because there’s too much to do? When this happens, we are usually taking on too much. We are loading down the present with worry about the future, and trying to do everything at once. We are forgetting about patience. We have only one moment to live and that moment is now. We cannot sustain life by taking tomorrow’s breath today, and we can’t make ourselves happy in this moment by trying to settle the next day’s problems. When we take on too much, we can ask for help. This skill is a new freedom in our recovery. It’s a way of accepting our limitations. Taking a single action toward our goal, we are doing what we can today, and we can let go of tomorrow. We can be calm, patient, and more serene. No worry over the future is worth sacrificing today’s serenity. Today’s serenity and today’s careful action will bring us just what we need tomorrow. The rewards are a newfound patience with ourselves, the help of others who care, and a new life of patience and tolerance. Today let me slow down and do what needs to be done each moment. ************************************************** ~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~ If you let yourself be absorbed completely, if you surrender completely to the moments as they pass, you live more richly those moments. ~ Anne Morrow Lindbergh ~ When you were a child, you wanted the days to rush by to get to a birthday, holiday, or school vacation. Each day seemed to pass so slowly. When you were older, you looked forward with eagerness to getting your driver’s license, going off to college, or getting your first job. At times, it may have seemed the future would never come. When you were older still, you may have looked for-ward to your wedding, to the birth of your first child, to buying your first home, or to a longed-for promotion. To achieve those things, you may have spent most of your present time planning for the future. It is not always easy to live by the slogan “One day at a time.” It becomes doubly hard to stay focused on the present when you feel all you have to look forward to is another day without your addiction. Living one day at a time is, perhaps, one of the hardest things you face in recovery. But within each day lies hope. To live each day, each minute, and each second means to be ever hopeful for a better tomorrow. All I have is today. I will appreciate each moment of it. ************************************************** ~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~ She looked around and found there were no monsters, only shifting shadows from the play of moonlight through the trees outside the window. ~ Lisa Alther ~ How often have we heard a child's bedtime fears are the result of an overactive imagination? Our own imagination can run wild at night, to such an extent that our reality becomes distorted. We begin to imagine things that are not real. If someone doesn't say hello to us, we may think that person hates us. An unreturned telephone call could signal that another has stopped being our friend. Instead of seeing what really exists, we let our imagination take over. Minor inconveniences become major catastrophes; small sounds become amplified into "things that go bump in the night." Tonight is as real as today. There is nothing to fear except the thoughts in our own minds. And we can chase those away by remembering to look at things the way they really are, not as we imagine them to be. Tonight I can use my mind to see clearly. Darkness cannot cloud my thoughts. ************************************************** ~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~ Passing it on Before we can help others, we must first help ourselves. If we acknowledge our chemical dependency problems and seek to change, we are growing. In growing, we have something to offer others. As those before us have helped us grow, we in turn, can help others grow. We can pass it on. Am I growing and passing it on? Higher Power, help me realize that as I grow through your love, others grow through my love for them. Today I will share my love and growth with God help me to stay clean and sober today! ************************************************** ~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~ Self-pity is our worst enemy and if we yield to it, we can never do anything wise in the world. ~ HELEN KELLER ~ Newcomer I’m feeling discouraged. I’ve always had health problems—backaches, allergies, and other physical problems. I’ve tried various remedies, taken vitamins on and off, and seen different kinds of practitioners. And, of course, I go to meetings. Sometimes I feel better for a few days; then suddenly things get worse. I’m miserable again today. Sponsor Our bodies have a way of getting our attention. There's an old story that asks, “How do you get a donkey to walk up a hill?” The answer is that first you hit him on the head with a two-by-four; then, when you’ve gotten his attention, you whisper in his ear—that way, you can get him to start walking up the hill. I think that we’re sometimes a bit like don-keys, and that bodily pain is the two-by-four that finally gets our attention and gets us moving. From what you’re telling me, I’d guess that something is wrong and is calling out for you to take an action. It sounds as if up to now you’ve been trying a little of this and a little of that, taking half measures. That didn’t work when you were active in your addiction; you had to overhaul your life and make a wholehearted commitment to recovery. Why should this be different? It may be time for you to look for a physician you’re willing to trust, get a thorough checkup, and follow every one of his or her suggestions. Recovery was the beginning of healing in your life. Having addressed your addiction and made some progress, you no longer find it acceptable to walk around in constant discomfort. That’s a positive change. Today, I am willing to pay attention to my body and to take whatever steps are needed for healing. ************************************************** ~ THE EYE OPENER ~ If we deny the fatherhood of God and our divine relationship to Him and each other, then we are but animated pieces of clay, each one independent of and unconnected with each other. If that be so, then we are foolish to love and labor for others. But are love and charity nonsense? Would life be a pleasant and interesting experience without them? No, if we removed these characteristics from our lives we would be left with only that which the baser animals possess. ************************************************** ~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~ THE MORNING LIGHT Lord of the night, Be with me through the hours of darkness, Let all my questions, Problems, decisions, Be enveloped in sleep That through the mystery Of the sleeping mind The difficulties of this day Will be seen to be easier In the morning light. Into Your hands, O Lord, I commit my spirit. ************************************************* ~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~ FROM WITHIN OUT But thou, when you prayest, enter into thy closet, and when thou hast shut thy door, pray to thy Father which in secret; and thy Father which seethin secret shall reward thee openly. But when ye pray, use not vain repetitions, as the heathen do: for they think that they shall be heard for their much speaking (Matthew 6:6−7) The sixth chapter of Matthew presents the doctrine of the Secret Place and its importance as the controlling center of the “Kingdom.” It is the essential factor of the teaching of Jesus Christ. You are a king, Jesus says, the ruler of your own kingdom. When you know the truth of being, you are the absolute monarch of your own life. It is very significant that Jesus should call your consciousness the Secret Place. It is obvious that nothing has any real significance but a change of policy in the Secret Place. A distinguished Quaker some years ago said: “In my youth we discontinued the distinctive Quaker costume and certain other usages because we realized that people who were far from really caring for our Quaker ideals were joining us, nevertheless, for the sake of the educational facilities they could obtain so inexpensively for their children, as well as other advantages of our membership. It was so easy to style oneself a ‘Friend,’ to purchase and wear a coat without buttons or collar, and to interlard the conversation with a grammatical peculiarity, while leaving the character completely untouched. It is so easy to buy and wear ceremonial garments, to repeat set prayers by rote at certain times, to use stereotyped forms of devotion, to attend religious services at prescribed periods−and to leave the heart unchanged.” ************************************************** ~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~ Hang in There If well thou has begun, go on foreright; it is the end that crowns us, not the fight. ~ Robert Herrik ~ I was inspired to establish a weekly community dinner at which spiritually oriented friends could get together for fellowship. I set the date to begin, invited my friends, cleaned the house, and baked an eggplant Parmigiana dinner as my offering to the potluck. When the appointed time arrived, no one had shown up. “Maybe they are fashionably late,” I reasoned, and waited. Half an hour later, there were still no guests, so I sat down to begin the dinner myself. Another half-hour went by, and there I sat with my eggplant and no guests. I felt very disappointed and wondered if I had made a mistake with the project. I persevered and went on with the plan the next week, and two people joined me. The following week, we had half a dozen. Within a few months, the community dinner was booming, and the house was bursting at the seams with guests. We went on to share creative meals, music, and presentations for over five wonderful years. After I moved from the area, the program was carried on at various homes, and it became a source of support and friendship for many people. Looking back on my first night romancing the eggplant, I realized how foolish I was to judge the value or success of my project based upon the initial response. The idea was an excellent one; it just took a little time to get rolling. If you have a good idea, don’t give up on it because your initial returns are not what you expected. Hang in there, hold the vision, keep the faith, and before long you may find your house bursting at the seams with success. Help me be true to my visions, even when the outer world does not seem to support them. I know that the inspirations You give me are good and must succeed. Steadfast I march on, secure. With God I am never alone. |
May 22
Step by Step Today, reach into my past to measure the enormity of my present and try to grasp the scope of the life that sobriety has given me. Whereas I once was helpless, hopeless, weak, apathetic, selfish and destructive - and pathetic - today I have hope, strength, selflessness, compassion, passion and the courage born of humility to treat sobriety with awe and respect. While I cannot and do not want to live in or return to yesterday, I also do not want to forget it; its lessons can steer me from the same mistakes today. And all I have left behind and gained what I have now is through sobriety and, therefore, my sobriety is my No. 1 priority for. Without it, I have nothing except for all I pray I left behind. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris, M. ************************************************** ~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~ SEEKING PRIVACY Let there be space in your togetherness. ~ Kahlil Gibran ~ Identifying with those who help our recovery by sharing experiences, strengths and hopes is one reason why our Program works. As we relate more closely to fellow members and our affection for them grows, we must be aware that danger lies in the belief that we all live alike. We cannot try to possess others or work their Programs for them. Each is an individual, following the same principles in his or her way to the best of their ability and within limitations. We must always give others the privacy their recovery requires. We remember that we are responsible for ourselves alone. Our recovery, our well-being, our happiness are all ultimately our own responsibility. Privacy is a precious gift to all who need ample time to pray, meditate, and plan each day. Yet, in being alone with shared problems, I am never truly alone. ************************************************** ~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~ Whoever thinks that marriage is a fifty-fifty proposition doesn’t know the half of it. ~ Franklin P. Jones ~ Naturally we expect our intimate partnerships to be built on equality and mutuality. Sometimes we get so focused on the role our partner is playing that we lose focus on our own. A good intimate partnership works when we stay focused on being a worthy partner and stop keeping score. We nourish our intimate relationship by being respectful, kind, and generous, whether or not we feel our partner is doing the same. That doesn’t mean that we never talk about what we want or hope for from our partner. It simply means that our loving attitude isn’t contingent on whether we get what we want. We know what a good partner is like, and when we provide that, it enhances the whole relationship and inspires our partner to respect us and respond in kind. Today I will be the best partner I know how to be, regardless of what I receive. ************************************************** ~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~ When I take another’s needs into consideration and bend, I spiritually stretch. ~ Helene Lerner-Robbins ~ We have been told that this is a selfish program. Perhaps that has given us license to be inconsiderate. However, that isn’t what the founders meant by a selfish program. While it’s true that we must protect our sobriety always, it is never wrong to be kind and considerate toward others. Our kindness to someone else won’t ever make us drink! That’s what we must keep uppermost in our mind. Along with helping us maintain abstinence, the program helps us develop a spiritual relationship that can change every aspect of our lives. Coming to believe in a Higher Power and turning to that Power for guidance and comfort allow us to experience hope in every situation. We can enhance our spiritual growth by treating others as we want God to treat us. My spiritual growth can get a boost today if I get my ego out of the way and help someone else feel better. ************************************************** ~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~ I know who I am I realize that I am willing to believe others’ opinions of me before my own. I am too willing to doubt myself. And whether intentionally or not, maliciously or not, people can easily be critical of me. But now that I’ve done a Fourth and a Fifth Step, I know better what my weaknesses are (as well as my strengths). I know better what to do in order to accept myself and what to work on in order to change. I’m glad I’ve evaluated myself on my own. And I thank my higher power for giving me the strength to do so. I will write affirmations on two of my strong points and tape them to my bathroom mirror. ************************************************* ~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~ Sometimes I feel sorry for people who don’t have a Twelve Step program to help them solve life’s problems. ~ Eleanor L. ~ Recovery helps us handle many issues that beset and befuddle other people. Whenever we hear someone say, “I’m a grateful alcoholic,” we know what they mean. We’re grateful, too. Before our addiction, lots of things bothered us. Since we started our recovery, though, we’ve learned that everybody has problems, no matter who they are or what they do. The difference is that now we have the tools and the support to help us get through. So much of life is spent muddling through little difficulties, but we’re lucky enough to have a recovery program and Higher Power to help us handle just about anything. Now there is always a place we can go to share our thoughts, hopes, and feelings. Our problems haven’t disappeared, and we don’t expect them to. But now we have the tools and support we need to work through our problems each day. Today I am grateful for the tools You have given me. ************************************************** ~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~ Everyone who is born holds dual citizenship, in the kingdom of the well and in the kingdom of the sick. ~ Susan Sontag ~ Recovery facilitates healing much like applying salve and a bandage to a wound help healing. Such healing helps you to become more aware of the negative influences in your life so you can stop the flow of negative energy. Healing in recovery involves learning about your dis-ease as well as becoming more aware of how this ad-diction affected you and the lives of others. Healing in recovery also involves making positive changes in your life. For example, you can assess the relationships in your life to determine if they are detrimental to your recovery. To heal in recovery, you need to take action to bring about change. You can let go of the people, places, and things that are no longer beneficial to you and allow into your life those people and things that will encourage your healing. The program is a journey you undertake that leads you out of one land and into another. You entered the program with a passport to the kingdom of the sick and were given a passport to the kingdom of the well. Today I have a choice between sickness and health. I choose health, and use the program to heal my sickness. ************************************************** ~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~ Sometimes I feel mad at her. Feel like I could scratch her hair right off her head. But then I think [she] got a right to live too. She got a right to look over the world in whatever company she choose. Just cause I love her don't take away none of her rights. ~ Alice Walker, The Color Purple ~ When we open ourselves up to caring, sharing, and giving, we also bare our vulnerable spots. We often hear how beautiful it is to be in love, but we also know how painful it can be. We might not mind being in love if the other person would stop hurting us. Sometimes it seems deliberately done: coming home late for dinner, forgetting an appointment or special event, or falling asleep when we want to be intimate. We may then express our hurt in ways that will hurt the other: yelling, throwing things, hitting, running away, breaking up. Sometimes we forget important dates or are too tired to express intimacy. lf those are our rights, then they must also be the rights of others. To truly express love, we need to have room to grow as two beautiful flowers, instead of one depriving the other of light and nourishment. I can give space to a loved one. ************************************************** ~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~ Accepting tragedy Even clean and sober, there may be tragic experiences in our lives. Sometimes there is just no logical explanation. Unexplained misery seems cruel, and we wonder how God can do this to God’s children. We don’t know the answers. We know that many of our problems are of our own making. But what do we do about acts of God? It is said that our greatest burdens may also be our greatest gifts and that the most tragic experience can help us learn to be of service and at one with our Creator. Am I capable of accepting tragedy? I can’t, my Higher Power can—and will— if I allow it. I will practice acceptance today by God help me to stay clean and sober today! ************************************************** ~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~ Advice is seldom welcome, and those who want it the most always like it the least. ~ LORD CHESTERFIELD ~ Newcomer This is going to sound strange, but sometimes I get fed up with all this kindness and caring. I talked a little at a meeting about a health problem I’m dealing with—I’d already seen a doctor—and at the break, people came over to talk to me, full of sympathy and concern. One told me to go to her doctor, another told me what kind of medicine I ought to be taking. I guess they meant well, but I hated it anyway. Sponsor Was it kindness and caring, or just people's need to give advice? In and out of meetings, we may find ourselves subjected to others’ unsolicited opinions and advice. It’s human to want to be helpful, but sometimes true helpfulness lies in simply acknowledging that we’ve heard the other person. It takes skill to be able to let someone know we care, without trying to take over. I can understand your irritation at being inundated with advice after you’d already sought a professional opinion and treatment for your problem; perhaps you felt as if your responsible, adult behavior was being ignored. Even in matters of recovery, not everyone with time in the program has the right answer for us. When we share our own experience instead of preaching, others can hear us more easily. According to Twelve Step tradition, it’s a pro-gram of attraction rather than promotion. Today, I trust what my heart is telling me. ************************************************** ~ THE EYE OPENER ~ We veterans of the Alcoholic Wars that raged within ourselves can bear testimony to the fact that it was only when we called upon the God of our understanding, that peace was restored to our lives. World Wars are but the extension of the conflicts existing in the souls of men on a world-wide basis. They, too, have as their foundation, fear, suspicion, envy, intolerance and national egotism. There will never be a permanent peace until the Prince of Peace is admitted into the hearts of men in high places and is allowed to preside over their Conference Tables. ************************************************** ~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~ REST Go with each of us to rest, If we awake, temper to them the dark hours of watching; And when the day returns, return to us, Our Son and Comforter, and call us up with Morning faces and with morning hearts Eager to labor, eager to be happy If happiness would be our portion, And if the day be marked for sorrow, We are strong to endure it. ************************************************* ~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~ A SIMPLIFIED LIFE It is unquestionable that the spiritualization of thought does undoubtedly lead the student to simplify his mode of life, for so many things that previously seemed important are now found to be unimportant and uninteresting. It is unquestionable too, that he gradually finds himself meeting different people, reading different books, spending his time differently; and that his conversation naturally changes its quality. These things follow upon the change of heart; never can they precede it. . . . old things are passed away, behold, all things are become new (2 Corinthians 5:17). Now we see how vain is the foolish attempt to cultivate the good opinion of other people under the impression that such a thing can be of any real advantage to us. Jesus has exposed that kind of fallacy once and for all. He says that the applause that follows upon outer acts is the only reward they ever bring, and that results worth while are only to be obtained in the Secret Place of consciousness. . . . pray to thy Father which is in secret; and thy Father which seet in secret shall reward thee openly (Matthew 6:6). ************************************************** ~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~ Now I’m Sure Come, my friends, ‘tis not too late to seek a newer world... We are one equal temper of heroic hearts. ~ Alfred, Lord Tennyson ~ In the film Lost Horizon, a group of air-crash survivors find their way to Shangri-La, a Utopian community high in the Himalayas where everyone lives in harmony and enjoys tremendous longevity. One of the survivors, Robert Conway, senses that he has finally come home and plans to live out his life in Shangri-La. But when some of his fellow passengers convince him that he has been deluded, he rejects the community and ventures back into his old world. It is not long before he realizes that the peace of Shangri-La was genuine and the life he attempted to regain was the illusion. Conway tries to find his way back to Shangri-La, but because the community is tucked away beyond bottomless chasms and unsurpassable blizzards, he must persevere fearlessly and tirelessly to regain the paradise he renounced. Eventually, he does locate the land of peace, and the wisdom he gained during his quest earns him a position as a leader in the community. When we say no to love, the contrast between what the love offered us and what we tried to exchange it for is obvious. We recognize without a doubt that the good we renounced was indeed in our best interests. Then we can pursue it with a whole heart. When we regain it, we know it is ours, and we deserve it by right of our consciousness. In the big picture, perhaps we had to say no first so we could become sure of the yes we eventually declare. Let me hearken wholeheartedly to the call of love and renounce any delusions that fear could offer me more. Love is my refuge and my salvation. I choose it with all my heart. |
May 23
Step by Step "It is plain that a life which includes deep resentment leads only to futility and unhappiness. ...But with the alcoholic, whose hope is the maintenance and growth of a spiritual experience, this business of resentment is infinitely grave. We found that it is fatal." - Alcoholics Anonymous, Third Edition, 1976, Ch 5, p 66 Today, understand and accept that resentments are both futile and unhappy and, by holding onto them, these words are gospel: " ...(H)arboring such (resentment), we shut ourselves off from the sunlight of the Spirit. The insanity of alcohol returns and we drink again. And with us, to drink is to die." Because I cannot afford to empower anything so strongly that my sobriety and, maybe, my life are imperiled, I will listen to my higher power for the way to release to Him my resentments without taking them back. By holding onto and later taking back resentment, I must see that I am still spiritually sick and that the sickness can trigger a slip or relapse. Today, I seek with sincerity and humility the courage, strength and willingness to release that which I cannot control - and not take it back. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M. ************************************************** ~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~ TRUSTING OTHERS The three Ts of gratitude to repay the Program for our recovery: our TIME, our TALENT, our TRUST. ~ Anonymous ~ In our recovery, we are building trust in others and in ourselves. For the first time in our lives, we know that we can reveal ourselves completely to others without fear of being put down. When we get stuck with negative thoughts, it is important to find the strength of sharing with others in the Program. At the same time, we are aware that others are placing trust in us not to use their sharing to benefit ourselves or to belittle them. By exchanging confidences and personal experiences, we are truly expressing our ability to love. We hear that our entire Program rests on the principles of mutual trust. We trust God, we trust the 12 Steps, and we trust each other. The 2nd Tradition states that our leaders are but “trusted servants.” When I share with others, I am also aware that they need me, just as I need them. ************************************************** ~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~ Seeing first one’s own defects and shortcomings is Humility; the fruit of vision is tolerance. ~ Ernest Kurtz and Katherine Ketcham ~ The word bumble has its roots in the Latin word for earth, humus. That doesn’t mean that if I am humble I feel like dirt. It means that the earth is truly my mother. My flesh and bones, like all living creatures, are made of earth—nothing more and nothing less. When I gain humility, I have myself in perspective. I like myself and I see how much I have in common with all my fellow human beings. This is truly a gift that I receive as part of living a spiritual life. It means I have acceptance and peace of mind. I don’t have to constantly compete. I can make mistakes and still have the possibility of repairing them. I can be okay even when no one is paying attention to me. Today I will be open to receiving the gift of humility. ************************************************** ~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~ In order to become responsible, it is imperative we take a close look at the effect our thoughts and beliefs have on our lives. ~ Susan Smith Jones ~ What’s on our minds and in our hearts is pretty easily interpreted by the people sharing our lives. Our demeanor, our attitude, our expression, even our gestures, speak loud and clear. The relationships we have with others mirror what is happening within ourselves. Most of us crave control. We think we’d find lasting happiness if only others would do what we want. But wringing our hands over their independence won’t change anything. On the contrary, addressing our own behavior, our own thinking, our own attitudes can encourage the very behavior we tried to demand all along. This is one of the tiny miracles that comes with working this program. Taking charge of every one of my actions, the loud as well as the very quiet, will give me the control I need—over me and no one else. I will have the kind of day I want today. My relationships will give to me what I give to them in thought and deed. ************************************************** ~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~ I can resist the urge to use I think I won’t survive if I don’t have my drug. I think that if I can’t use, I’ll scream or smash something. I think I actually ache; it feels like I’m losing control. And then suddenly I remember what I’ve learned from my counsellor and sponsor−if I hold off, the cravings will pass. They say that if I can distract myself for just four or five minutes, I will be OK. I believe my helpers (although each minute can feel like an hour). I want recovery badly. I can do what it takes to stay clean and sober. I will pray for strength and courage. I will call my sponsor (or friend) as soon as I feel the urge to use. ************************************************* ~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~ The manner of giving is worth more than the gift. ~ Pierre Corneille ~ Most of us grew up learning it’s better to give than to receive. While it is true that it’s good to give to others in need, and to think of others before ourselves, some of us become dependent on giving as the only way we can feel good about ourselves. Our self-worth is so low that giving becomes necessary to our self-esteem and we are blind to what others are trying to share with us. Now, we’re learning to share our blessings with others and let others share with us. We may share our feelings and thoughts, our time and talents, and our money and possessions, especially with those in need. But we need to be gracious and willing to receive what others want to share with us, too. The fellowship of our Twelve Step recovery program is based on such a willingness to share. Giving and receiving are meant to exist together, in balance. Today may I be willing to receive what others wish to give me, even as I am willing to give to others. ************************************************** ~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~ I believe that he was really sorry that people would not believe he was sorry that he was not more sorry. ~ Samuel Butler ~ How much can people believe in what you say? In the past, you most likely made promises you did not keep or said what you thought others wanted to hear just to get them off your back. You may have told others you were sorry for something you had done. But your apology may have sounded less than sincere if it was snapped at another in anger—“I said I was sorry!”—or spoken with sarcasm—“Well, sor-ree!” Just because you tell someone you are sorry may not be enough. You can certainly say those words—and de-liver them by using a tone of voice and body language that convey your regret—but you also need to take action to rectify the wrongs you have committed. Your words, combined with your actions, build trust. Ask yourself, “Am I expressing that I am truly sorry simply because I am frustrated, or am I saying that I am sorry because I understand the harm I have done?” Then back up your words with actions that reflect your apology. I want others to trust me. Today I will pay attention to the words I am saying and the actions I am taking to back up those words. ************************************************** ~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~ The soul is dyed the color of its thoughts. ~ Marcus Aurelius ~ If we give a group of children paper and crayons and ask them to draw a self-portrait, we will see that their choice of colors will communicate how they feel about themselves. Pastel colors can convey happiness and contentment; bright colors can reveal strong feelings; black or blue can mean sadness or pain. "How would we color a picture of ourselves tonight? If our day has been good and we've kept our thoughts positive and focused in the present, our choice of colors will probably show contentment and serenity. If our thoughts today have been negative or focused on the past or future, we may choose colors that reflect confusion, fear, sadness, or insecurity. We can steer clear of the blues tonight if we think of ourselves in happy colors. There's a whole rainbow of colors to feel−the choice is up to us. What color is my soul tonight? ************************************************** ~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~ Listening A common saying in the program is “If you don’t like what you hear at this meeting, leave it here.” Many people do just that, they leave everything at the meetings. Most of us did not get better by listening only to what we wanted to hear. What helped us in the long run was listening to things we didn’t want to hear, such as “Work the Steps, you’re no better than anyone else,” and “Don’t take that first fix, pill, or drink.” The hard work of recovery, the things we don’t want to do, are often the very things that make it possible for us to ar-rest our disease. Am I listening to what I need to hear? Higher Power, grant me the courage to listen to the hard things and apply them in my program today. Today I will listen to God help me to stay clean and sober today! ************************************************** ~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~ When angry, count four; when very angry, swear. ~ MARK TWAIN ~ Newcomer I’ve just come from a meeting where every single person but me got to share. I had my hand up the whole time, and it was still up when it was time for the meeting to end. The person who led the meeting looked at his watch and said, “It’s time to close.” There weren’t that many people at the meeting—I know he saw me. At times like this, I just want to forget this whole meeting thing. Sponsor I can understand your anger at feeling left out. There are many meetings where the leader asks, a few moments before the closing, whether there’s anyone in the room who has “a burning desire” to share, and others where the leader may say, “Please don’t leave with a resentment; if you didn’t get to share, please talk to one of us after the meeting.” Sometimes the leader suggests that a person who didn’t get the opportunity to share lead the group in the closing prayer. Any of these ways of acknowledging our presence can be helpful. But if we need to share and aren’t given the opportunity, we can invite someone to join us for coffee, or we can call our sponsor. With rare exceptions, Twelve Step program meetings begin and end precisely as scheduled. For me, it’s comforting to be able to depend on that. In the old days, there wasn’t much I could count on other than my addiction. Today, I create opportunities for sharing. ************************************************** ~ THE EYE OPENER ~ “God created the world and God saw everything He had made, and behold, it was very good.” He gave man dominion over the world and we have badly fouled it up. This world, with all its wars, crimes, sins and sorrows, is truly our world−not the one God made. Alcoholics and non-alcoholics alike must get out of the driver’s seat, admit we are powerless over our baser instincts and let God take over. Then our world will become His world again and it will be very good indeed. ************************************************* ~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~ A TIME TO FAST Moreover when ye fast, be not, as the hypocrites, of a sad countenance for they disfigure their faces, that they may appear unto men to fast. Verily I say unto you, They have their reward. But thou, when thou fastest, anoint thine head, and wash thy face; That thou appear not unto men to fast, but unto thy Father which is in secret and thy Father, which seeth in secret, shall reward thee openly (Matthew 6:16−18). Jesus takes the practice of fasting for granted. Now the most profitable method of fasting is abstention from negative or error thoughts. In some cases it is necessary to abstain for a time from thinking about a particular problem at all. There are certain problems, usually those that you have been mulling over too much, that are overcome “only by prayer and fasting.” In such a case it is best to give the problem a definite and final prayer, and then to leave it alone, for a time; or else hand it over bodily to someone else to handle for you, after which you keep your thoughts completely away from it. ************************************************** ~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~ Time Out If you ever feel that you should do something, lie down until the feeling passes. ~ Arnold Patent ~ Every activity of life is enhanced by rest. From golf to boxing, players are given time between their performances to step back, renew themselves, and get a perspective. The greatest creators and inventors make use of frequent periods to tap into their creative unconscious: Thomas Edison and Albert Einstein were known for taking cat naps in the midst of their experiments, and returning with powerful insights. The Bible tells us that God created the heavens and the earth in six days, and on the seventh day he rested. If the Creator of the Universe took a day off to rest, certainly you and I can! Yet how many of us stop to recharge our batteries and remember that there is more to life than incessant activity? We live in a society obsessed with terminal doingness. We believe that our worth is determined by how much we produce, and we fear that if we step back for even a moment we will get behind and someone else will get ahead. Insanity! The cycle of activity and rest is as natural as day and night, as colorful as the seasons, and as vital as breathing. If you are always on the go, stopping to catch your breath will only empower you. Effective resting is an art that truly successful people have mastered. The next time you feel overwhelmed, have the presence of mind to stop and catch your breath—it will make all the difference. I pray to be renewed by the breath of life You give me. Help me to step back and allow You to be reborn in me that I may be reborn in the world. I breathe deeply. I am empowered by the cycles of creation. |
May 24
Step by Step "Let no alcoholic say he cannot recover unless he has his family back. This just isn't so. In some cases, the (spouse) will never come back ...(R)ecovery is not dependent upon people. It is dependent upon his relationship with God." - Alcoholics Anonymous, Third Edition, 1976, Ch 7, pp 99-100. Today, understanding why my alcoholism and recovery are dependent only on me and that I cannot make them a condition on what someone else does or how some situation plays out. Just as none of those can be "blamed" for my drinking, neither can they be the reason for my recovery. To place my sobriety on someone or something else does little more than reinforce my refusal to take responsibility and consequences, and exert emotional blackmail on an external source that I cannot or will not stop drinking if I don't get from them what I want. Today, my alcoholism and my character and spiritual defects are my responsibility and no one else's. Likewise, no one and nothing outside of me are responsible for my recovery. And if addiction is as selfish as the program says, then so it is for my recovery. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M. ************************************************** ~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~ LISTENING Before engaging your mouth, put your mind in gear. ~ Anonymous ~ Our world is full of speechmakers who would serve better if they learned the importance of listening. The ability to hear is stressed within our group. It is true that we owe it to fellow members to tell the valuable lessons we learn while dealing with reality. But by listening, we can find truth from outside ourselves, too. Old-timers sometimes remind us to “take the cotton out of our ears and put it in our mouth.” An old proverb says, “When the pupil is ready, the teacher will appear.” Another tells us, “Find a teacher and you will find a friend.” When we learn to be attentive, we continue to be “students” long after our “school years” are over. Even when we read, we can listen well to truths. One gift of being a good listener is to hear unexpectedly some truth I may have been told before but was not ready to hear. ************************************************** ~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~ Old man whose sperm swims in my veins come back in love, come back in pain. ~ Toi Derricotte ~ A man who never knew his father said, “My father had no influence on me.” Then, as he pondered that thought further, he realized his father had had a great influence on him by his absence. In fact, he had searched all his life to learn what his father was like and had often wondered if his father would be proud of him. Many of us grew up feeling the absence of our fathers, either because they were physically gone or be-cause they were emotionally disconnected from us. We patched together a youth in which we grew up and became adult men, but we continue to wonder about that man whose genes shape us. What was he like? For some of us it is still possible, as grown men, to change our relationships with our fathers, to bring up personal topics with them, to ask about their lives. For many of us that isn’t possible, but all of us can learn to live in better ways. We can now develop genuine personal relationships with other men who have real feelings. And we become happier, more courageous, and wholesome men by doing so. Today I will have a genuine personal conversation with another man. ************************************************** ~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~ But we don’t know what we really want, so we don’t know where to look. ~ Mary McDermott Shideler ~ In vague terms we know what we want. We want happiness, serenity, agreeable relationships, meaningful work, good health, freedom from worry. But how do we attain these desires? We may not have a detailed picture of exactly what we want, but in this program we never lack knowledge of how to proceed in any activity. Utilizing the first three Steps clarifies our next move. No situation needs to baffle us. We always have the program for guidance. Before recovery, we looked to our drug of choice for our happiness and the solutions to our problems. When we didn’t find them, we relied on relationships or jobs or food to fulfill our dreams. Again and again we were disappointed. We simply didn’t know where to look for the help we needed. We’ll never lack the knowledge again. I will look to my Higher Power and people I can trust for the guidance to my happiness today. I know what I want; I can find it. ************************************************** ~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~ Recovery is my first priority When I was in treatment for my dual disorder, I would rather have been at work. I was surprised how much I missed my job and my co-workers. There were the unpaid bills and, of course, the uncertainty of my future. It’s still hard for me to take the time to deal with these illnesses. But as I feel better−it gets easier for me to see that career and money aren’t everything. I trust that I will be healthier and happier in the long run if I deal with these illnesses as needed. And I realize that it takes time. But recovery is my first priority. I will pray for strength to let go of my fears and clarity to focus on my recovery. ************************************************* ~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~ We believe in Human Ecology, the understanding and care of human beings as whole persons in light of their relationship to God, themselves, their families, and the society in which they live. ~ The Philosophy of Human Ecology ~ The philosophy of Human Ecology covers all three aspects of our recovery: body, mind, and spirit. We know that taking care of our bodies is essential to recovery. That means eating properly, exercising as much as we can, and not abusing ourselves physically. Taking care of our minds is also important. We are trying to make choices that enhance our recovery, not diminish it. This includes the things we read, watch, and listen to. We seek out education and positive affirmation. We go to meetings. We gather with others who share our vision. Spirituality is the common thread through all of this, for without it we are lost. Our spiritual search is our effort to improve our conscious contact with God. Through this search comes harmony of body, mind, and spirit. Today let me remember the principles of Human Ecology. They provide a simple reminder of where I’ve been and where I am going. ************************************************** ~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~ But the beginning of things ...is necessarily vague, tangled, chaotic, and exceedingly disturbing. ~ Kate Chopin ~ You may be someone who has entered the program not once, but several times. You may have left because you did not view your problem as that bad. Or you broke away because you thought others in the program were a bunch of lunatics or that the program was some form of religious cult. Perhaps you were not strong enough to resist the pull of your habit. Whatever your reason, relapse is something that is all too familiar to addicts. Sometimes the program is not a “one and done,” but a process of starting over multiple times. But any relapse usually begins in much the same way: with the expectation that things will be different this time around. You may be able to use less than you had in the past. But you are still using nonetheless. And, even though you think you may be in control this time, the control will never be in your hands. It is and always will be with the habit. So, today, which will you choose: to submit to the lure of your addiction and see if, this time around, things will be different, or to appreciate a new day that is filled with promise and purpose? Today I will be free from my habit. I am committed to my recovery. ************************************************** ~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~ Tension is a habit. Relaxing is a habit. And bad habits can be broken, good habits formed. ~ William James ~ Nail biting, foot shaking, hair twirling, finger tapping, and hand wringing are all ways of showing nervous tension. We most likely have these habits unconsciously. To stop, we can use the tools of the program as if we are breaking an obsession. We can use the slogans and Steps to give us first the awareness and then the strength to break the nervous habits. We can also learn good habits with which to replace the old. For example, we may be very nervous before a meeting starts. So we sit there biting our nails, perpetuating the bad habit. We can replace that bad habit with a good one like volunteering to make the coffee. By doing so, we'll keep our hands and minds busy until the meeting begins. By using the program to deal with bad habits and choosing positive replacements for them, we can change our bad behaviors into good ones. What are some of my bad habits? Tonight I can think of good habits to replace my bad ones. ************************************************** ~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~ Accepting our addiction I can’t be a drug addict or an alcoholic because I can quit anytime I want to, because I use only on weekends, because I never drink anything but beer or use anything but grass, because I am too young. We have heard these excuses many times and perhaps we have used them ourselves. But ignorance and denial can kill us. Only honest acceptance of the truth can free us from our addiction. Old-timers are fond of saying that people don’t get to this program by mistake. If we are reading this page today, let’s hope all these excuses are behind us. Have I stopped denying my addiction? God, grant me the courage to let go of the excuses and accept the truth about myself. I will acknowledge my addiction today by God help me to stay clean and sober today! ************************************************** ~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~ This program is a little bit like ice cream: the basic substance is the same, but it comes in a variety of flavors. ~ WOMAN IN RECOVERY ~ Newcomer I’ve been going to a meeting that, frankly, I just don’t like. There’s something dark and depressing about it. But I keep hearing people say that this disease is “cunning, baffling, and powerful.” I wonder if maybe that’s my problem. I could be fooling myself. Maybe I don’t know what’s good for me. Maybe I’m just lazy. Sponsor Let’s take a practical look at your situation. This meeting you so dislike—do you have to make the best of it for now? Or is there one at another time or in another place that you can try out? It doesn’t hurt to “change your seat” in recovery once in a while. I like to go to beginner’s meetings, to meetings where there are people with long-term recovery, to anniversary meetings, to Step meetings, to large meetings where there’s a feeling of high energy, to small meetings where I know I’ll get the chance to share. We’re lucky to have such variety available. Sometimes I travel a bit farther to get to meetings I particularly like. But I also have a home group, where I show up on a regular basis and let people get to know me. That way I can’t hide. You’ve sensed, rightly, that being consistent is good for us. But principles exist to guide us, not to punish ourselves with. As I let the principles of the program guide me today, I use gentleness and common sense. I reason things out with my sponsor. I change my seat and take a fresh look at things. ************************************************** ~ THE EYE OPENER ~ The only impossible thing in the world is a full conception of the things that are possible. Within the limits of our lifetime we have seen many marvels; the transmission of sound and pictures across the continent without visible needs; we cook and freeze with the same unit of energy; man can now exert a force of twenty thousand pounds simply by pushing a button. Nothing seems beyond the vision of the scientist in his study and use of the unlimited forces of Nature. The power of God, however, is still virgin territory. Man hasn’t scratched the surface in his efforts to put this force to work for man. When this is accomplished the word “impossible” will not be in anybody’s dictionary. ************************************************** ~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~ OUR TRUE HOME Our true home is in the present moment. To live in the present moment is a miracle. The miracle is not to walk on water. The miracle is to walk on the green earth in the present moment, To appreciate the peace and beauty that are available now. Peace is all around us− In the world and in nature− And within us− In our bodies and our spirits. Once we learn to touch this peace, We will be healed and transformed. It is not a matter of faith; It is a matter of practice. ************************************************* ~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~ YOUR HEART FOLLOWS YOUR TREASURE Read Matthew 6:16−23. If your consciousness is right, that is, if you have a good understanding of God as the loving Source of your boundless supply, you will always be able to demonstrate whatever money or goods you may require. You cannot want for anything when once you truly realize that in Divine mind demand and supply are one. And, on the contrary, until you do realize this, you never will be really safe from want. In the long run, no one can retain what does not belong to him by right of consciousness, nor be deprived of that which is truly his by the same supreme title. If you are looking to outer, passing, mutable things for either happiness or security, you are not putting God first. If you are putting God first in your life, you will not find yourself labouring under undue anxiety about anything, for where your treasure is, there will your heart be also (Matthew 6:21) ************************************************** ~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~ Be Good to Yourself When I tune into my beautiful self I get happiness. Everything in the universe belongs to me. ~ Dick Gregory ~ One of my favorite places to speak is at a chapel overseen by Rev. Chris Chenoweth, one of the most gracious and generous people I have ever met. Chris just loves to say “Yes!” Whenever I speak at his church, he does everything he can to support my work, materially and spiritually. Rev. Chenoweth inspired me when he gave me some insights into his own life. "I just love my new hot tub!” he exclaimed during one visit. When I saw him the next year, he suggested, "You’ll have to come to my house and enjoy my new big-screen TV.” A year later, Chris was eagerly awaiting the arrival of his new Honda motorcycle. Chris’s delight with his toys showed me that he had a complete prosperity consciousness— he was just as generous with himself as he was with others. He proved that when Spirit showers love, It does not leave anyone out. Real humility is not denying the gifts of God; it is accepting them. Material gifts are just a symbol of God’s abundance. The real gifts are the gifts of spirit—joy, aliveness, laughter, love, appreciation, compassion, and many more. If you give to others, materially or spiritually, and you leave yourself out, you cannot say that you are a true giver. Accept for yourself what you are giving to others, and your life will be a more valuable teaching than your words. Help me love completely. Let me enjoy the blessings of giving. I am willing to receive as much as I give. All that I give is given to myself |
May 25
Step by Step "The remorse, horror and hopelessness of the next morning are unforgettable. The courage to do battle was not there. (The) brain raced uncontrollably and there was a terrible sense of impending calamity. ...(A) mental fog settled down. Gin would fix that. So two bottles, and - oblivion." - Alcoholics Anonymous, Third Edition, 1976, Ch 1, p 6. Today, gratitude that I awoke today without regret of what I did or said last night, without dread of what this day will bring and without fear that some unknown disaster is about to explode and I don't know where to hide. Today, I have clarity of all I said and did last night, no dread of what these 24 Hours will serve and no need to run from a non-existent fear. AA has strengthened me with faith and trust in a higher power who, in turn, has graced me with faith in the 12 Steps and, above all, with sobriety. But I cannot take for granted that I awoke sober today and with a sense of purpose. My reprieve from all those morning after's of so many yesterday's is only for this day, and this day I must continue to work toward awakening to the next 24 Hours without "remorse, horror and hopelessness." And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M. ************************************************** ~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~ REALITY The 12 Steps can only take us as far as we allow them to take us. ~ Anonymous ~ We gave up believing that we could avoid the pain of life by retreating into a dream world. A short time of sharing in a 12 Step Group, however, will prove that fantasy is more dangerous than fact simply because it lacks substance. We cannot afford guesswork; any decision must be based on truths. We find that reality never changes, but our attitude toward it can. We are not responsible for what happens to us, but our reactions to experiences are ours alone. Reality tells us not to waste time avoiding being what we dislike being, but to bear down on becoming the person we want to be. Reality gives us simple, concrete answers rather than empty dreams. How I react to reality makes my reality. If I react to anger with love instead of more anger, or if I react to a crisis with faith instead of fear, I am creating a reality of love and faith instead of anger and fear. ************************************************** ~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~ When I was small I was very naughty and my father chased me with his belt to give me a thrashing. Maybe that was how I got accustomed to running. ~ Fermin Cacho, 1992 Olympic champion ~ Not all bad things are all bad. All of us can look back at things that happened to us, bad experiences, painful times, and still say that we became better men for the experience. Men who have had cancer, men who spent years in prison, even unjustly accused, men who were abused—all have said that they used the experience to grow and improve. That is the sign of a good man. Artists say that great design often occurs when they are forced to work within the limits of a situation. The outcome is not their original vision but an evolution into something surprising and wonderful. In this program we hear the stories of many others who struggled with great challenges but used their struggles toward constructive results. A great runner doesn’t become great because he was chased by his father with a belt, but because he used his experiences to make something positive out of it. Our recovery is an example of that very thing. Today I will seek ways to turn my challenges into creative responses. ************************************************** ~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~ When I’m confused, I just try to do the next right thing. ~ Cathy Stone ~ In the past, we eagerly sought freedom from our obsessions through alcohol and other drugs. We learned, after many harrowing experiences, that an altered mood didn’t solve anything. The obsession remained. But there is a way to be free of obsession, and we have been selected to experience it. Why have we been graced with recovery? We may never know. Many people never get the chance at another life. Because we have been given the chance, we may fear that it will be taken away unless we do everything right. So we obsessively worry. A good sponsor tells us that all we ever have to do is quietly ask ourselves, what is the next right thing to do? And then do it. It’s not mysterious. A moment’s contemplation clarifies what we should do. Doing it is all that’s left. Today I can live an experience at a time. Keeping my focus small will never leave me in doubt as to what to do. ************************************************** ~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~ I am learning to cry Feeling sad and alone was terrible. But I felt even worse when I wanted to cry and was afraid to. I was afraid of feeling so much pain at once that I wouldn’t be able to stand it. I was afraid that if I let my emotions out, no one would pay attention and I would be left alone with them. Eventually, during a session with my therapist, I could no longer hold back the pain and the tears came. At first I felt overwhelmed, then angry, then sad. After a while, I finally felt some relief. By no longer holding in my strong feelings, I can see that they are valid and honourable, and they will not destroy me. I will look for a safe place to cry, and when needed, a safe person to cry with. ************************************************* ~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~ I am trying to come closer to the origins of this loss of the self. ~ Alice Miller ~ Sometimes, we may feel as if we have created a “false self.” Often, after we’ve been in recovery for a while, we begin to realize that we’ve been wearing a mask and hiding behind it. We did it to protect ourselves from the pain and uncertainty of our lives. And during those years of drinking or drugging, we had no interest in learning who we really were. Have we created false selves to mask our real personalities? As we grow in recovery, our reclaimed honesty will help us answer this. When we’re true to ourselves and our feelings, we’ll come to know and enjoy our values. We are becoming people we respect and love. We’ll come to make better choices, building a new life around our real selves. We can establish our true selves by sharing openly our thoughts, feelings, needs, desires, and concerns with those around us. Today help me share who I really am. ************************************************** ~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~ Immature love says: “I love you because I need you.” Mature love says: “I need you because I love you.” ~ Erich Fromm ~ In the past, you may have viewed any loving relation-ship as a sort of joint bank account that you could draw from repeatedly. You most likely contributed little to the account, but used its resources whenever you could. You depended upon this account and may have often taken for granted that it would always be there for you. But money in a joint bank account cannot last long when one person is depleting and not replenishing its funds. Love thrives when there is a balance of give and take between two people. If one takes, the other is left with-out. But when one gives, the other is enriched. When two people contribute in this way, security is built and the needs of both can grow. Recovery offers a time in which you can replenish the depleted accounts that supported you in the past. You can now be a contributor, a giver, and a provider of love. You will still be able to withdraw from these accounts, but with more consideration for how much you are taking for yourself and how much you are giving to others. I invest in those I love by giving them time, attention, and care. ************************************************** ~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~ There are two things to aim at in life: first, to get what you want; and, after that, to enjoy it. Only the wisest of mankind can achieve the second. ~ Logan Pearsall Smith ~ Through our work in the program, we are learning a new way of life. We may never achieve all we want in life, but along the way we may find ourselves enriched by our progress. Perhaps we didn't argue with our partners last week or maybe we made plans on our own or tried something new. How did we celebrate such great gains? Have we spent time enjoying the good things in our lives? When we make any gain, we need to stop for a moment and enjoy it. No gain is too small to be recognized and enjoyed. All the time we have to enjoy our progress is right now. Let's take time to enjoy the fruits of our labors. What gains−big or small−have I made today? Tonight I can enjoy the gains while they are fresh in my mind. I have done well. ************************************************** ~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~ Living in the now “Just for today.” “Live in the now.” “It’s a twenty-four-hour program.” Ask for sobriety and cleanness each day upon arising. Take a daily inventory. Such slogans and recommendations show that our predecessors considered the twenty- four-hour approach to be pretty important. Can I see how this is true? Do I practice living one day at a time? God, grant me the patience to live in today and the insight for a better tomorrow. Today I will work at living in the now by God help me to stay clean and sober today! ************************************************** ~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~ Character is what you are in the dark. ~ DWIGHT MOODY ~ Newcomer People in this program are always talking about not “isolating.” Does that mean I’m supposed to be around people all the time? That doesn’t sound very adult to me. I like spending time alone, when I can get it. Sponsor There’s a big difference between solitude and isolation. Many of us do work that requires being alone, and many of us welcome opportunities to read, meditate, enjoy nature, listen to music, or whatever nourishes our spirit, in our own company. When we are in tune with ourselves and our Higher Power, spending time alone doesn’t have to mean loneliness. Like prayer, solitude can replenish us and give us a calmer, more centered self to bring back into the company of our fellow human beings. There’s another way of being alone, which is not beneficial. When we become preoccupied with an anxiety or obsession that keeps us from living in the present moment, when we’re thirsting for understanding but scared or un-willing to open ourselves to anyone else, when we believe that we’re hopelessly unique and not meant to be a part of the human family—these things foster a sense of isolation similar to that which we experienced when we were active in our addictions. Getting to a daily meeting, talking with a sponsor, checking in with a good friend, letting someone know the truth of how we’re doing—these are some of the ways to avoid becoming dangerously isolated. Today, I make time for solitude and companionship. ************************************************** ~ THE EYE OPENER ~ One cute little darling and that spoiled brat across the street do exactly the same tricks. Man is so constructed that he cannot be absolutely impartial. It is contrary to human nature. We can, however, pause and reflect before we pass judgement, and we can try to put ourselves in the other fellow’s position. We are prone to judge him solely on his acts while we judge our acts by our motives and thus excuse ourselves. ************************************************** ~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~ BLESSING FOR PARTNERS (APACHE BLESSING) Now you will feel no rain, For each of you will be shelter for the other. Now you will feel no cold, For each of you will be warmth to the other. Now there will be no loneliness, For each of you will be companion to the other. Now you are two persons, But there is only one life before you. May beauty surround you both In journey ahead and through all the years. May happiness be your companion and Your days together will be good and long upon the earth. ************************************************* ~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~ THE SINGLE EYE If you pray for yourself in the right way every day, you will find that the minor things of life will gradually fall correctly into place of their own accord without any trouble on your part. Contrast this with the usual method of trying to get everything right by separately organizing a thousand petty details, and you will appreciate how wonderfully the new spiritual basis sets you free. If therefor thine eye be single, thy whole body shall be full of light (Matthew 6:22) The eye symbolizes spiritual perception. Whatever you give your attention to, is the thing that governs your life. Attention is the key. Your free will lies in the directing of your attention. Whatever you steadfastly direct your attention to, will come into your life and dominate it. If you do not direct your attention consistently to anything in particular−and many people do not−then nothing in particular will come into your life except uncertainty and suspense. If the Glory of God comes first with you, and to express His Will becomes the rule of your life, then your eye is single and your whole body, or embodiment, will be full of light. ************************************************** ~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~ Then I Saw the Picture If we could read the secret histories of our enemies, we should find in each man's life, sorrow and suffering enough to disarm all hostility. ~ Henry Wadsworth Longfellow ~ “After I killed him, I went through his pockets to search for valuables,” Jack soberly told our seminar group. “It was standard practice in Vietnam.” Jack’s eyes began to tear, and his voice started to shake. "What I found changed my life: In this soldier's pocket was a photo of his wife and young child. I stopped in my tracks. Although I had killed many Vietnamese in the war, they always seemed just a faceless enemy. Suddenly I realized I had killed a real person with a family like my own. I could not do it again. As soon as I could, I made arrangements to be transferred." We keep enemies by not looking at them. The moment we look into the eyes or the heart of one we call enemy, we recognize ourselves. If there is someone from whom you feel estranged, look into their eyes. If you can do this in person, you will see their innocence behind the drama and feel your oneness with them. If it is not possible to do this with them physically, call them to you in spirit, and mentally look into their eyes. When you touch someone's soul, you cannot long hold resentment. The eyes are the windows of the soul, but they are also the mirror of yourself. When I visited the Soviet Union with citizen diplomacy groups, we shared family photos with the Russians. We placed their pictures on mantels or altars at home, and they did the same. It is quite difficult to imagine dropping bombs on people who are just like us. War will end when we realize that people are not our enemies. Fear is the root of separateness, and the consciousness of our unity is the healer. I pray to release all thoughts of separateness and enmity. From this day on, may I call everyone I meet and know my friend. I am one with all of my sisters, brothers, and the earth. |
May 26
Step by Step " ...We realized that the people who wronged us were perhaps spiritually sick. Though we did not like their symptoms and the way these disturbed us, they, like ourselves, were sick too. We asked God to help us show them the same tolerance, pity and patience that we would cheerfully grant a sick friend." - Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, Ch 5, pp 66-7. Today, let go of resentments and other ill feelings I might harbor for someone else. I cannot justify anger and anything else bad against anyone if I hope or expect no one to have such feelings toward me. If I claim spiritual disease as the root of my own misconduct, I have to allow the same to those who have offended me. While I might never grow to like the person I believe has offended me, rightfully or not, I cannot work toward revenge or hopes that something bad befalls that other person. Today, as I hope no one wishes me ill, I cannot justify hoping the worst for someone else. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M. ************************************************** ~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~ CHARACTER Fame is what you have taken. Character is what you give. When to this truth you awaken, then you begin to live. ~ Bayard Taylor ~ Longtimers continually tell newcomers to strive to build a strong character for use in facing the world’s realities. Sometimes they leave the impression that character is what others think about us. But the opinion others have about us is not important. Character is what we are, not what others think we are. We are not born with character. It is developed through patience and much humility. It is what we are in the dark. Our character is revealed by an outer show of an inner glow. It is our reserve force for living. It is more useful than talent and shows itself best during our contact with others. Today, I’ll remember my character can be a force that respects truth, develops will and spirit, accents positive action, and makes all of these assets evident to other people. ************************************************** ~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~ Those who contemplate the beauty of the earth find reserves of strength that will endure as long as life lasts. ~ Rachel Carson ~ Where do we turn for contemplation and contact with a spiritual source? Many men find it in nature. They look out the window at a handsome tree. They go for a walk outdoors, feed the birds, let themselves be awed by the sight of the moon on a dark night. The natural world offers our most direct, tangible contact with something eternal. We are part of something much larger than ourselves, something that endures for the ages. The beauty of nature inspires awe, which is a form of reverence. We walk along a canyon rim and God is there. We walk through prairie grasses and wildflowers teeming with wildlife, the wind blows in our faces, and our spirits rise. These natural beauties endure forever. Today, as I look at the natural world, I see God. ************************************************** ~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~ If you have to swallow a toad, don't stare at it too long. ~ Connie Hilliard ~ We have been blessed with a second chance. None of us could have expected to survive had we continued using alcohol and other drugs to excess. We were on a collision course with death, but the grace of God intervened, setting us down on this recovery path. The path continues to feel rocky at times, but we now have tools that promise us smoother traveling. We have to care enough to use them. Attitude adjustment is a tool whose use we must all begin to master. Before recovery, seldom did we accept turmoil, no matter how minor, with a positive attitude. We were intent on forcing solutions or controlling those we thought we loved. Our failures fueled our drinking. Now our failures fuel our negative attitude. But we can take charge of our attitude. We don’t have to love a circumstance to respond positively to it. Many things will happen today that I won’t necessarily love. I can accept them and cultivate a peaceful attitude, or I can pout and be miserable. The choice is mine. ************************************************** ~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~ By accepting my past, I accept my present I grew up in a household dominated by a parent with a severe dual disorder. There was too little security or love or food. I was a child−helpless and stuck. In recovery from my own dual disorder, I am discovering that while I cannot change the past, I can try to understand it and learn from it. As my past becomes clearer to me, my life−and how I experience it−appear in a new light. For example, I can now re-examine my rigidity, perfectionism, and especially my fear of change. As I accept my past and its lessons, I come to accept my present (and myself) more. I will ask my counsellor to help me explore my family of origin. ************************************************* ~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~ Everything’s got a moral if only you can find it. ~ Lewis Caroll ~ We must make many choices in our recovery. Some of these will strengthen our character, for they will be hard to make and sometimes even harder to accept. One of the most meaningful sayings in our program is “Let go and let God.” We understand its true meaning when we are faced with adversity and we feel needlessly hurt. If we are to let go of a problem, we must feel in our hearts that no matter what the outcome, our Higher Power has a special purpose for us. We may not be able to see that purpose now, but if we let our Higher Power guide us, we will be guided down the right path. If we do our best to detach from our pain and try to see a more peaceful future, we will feel secure in God’s hands. Given this security, we’ll be free to direct our energy toward positive, healthy choices that will bring us more of the happiness we deserve. Today help me let go and let God, even when it hurts. ************************************************** ~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~ There is something infinitely healing in the repeated refrains of nature—the assurance that dawn comes after night, and spring after the winter. ~ Rachel Carson ~ Imagine opening the morning paper and reading the following headline: Today has been cancelled due to lack of interest. Perhaps you are overjoyed at this headline. You were not looking forward to the day anyway. In fact, you would have preferred to stay in bed. Now imagine opening the morning paper and reading the following headline: Tomorrow has been cancelled due to lack of interest. Perhaps you really were not looking forward to today, but to think that tomorrow will not come can make you think twice about how you will spend today. No matter what lies ahead of you today, if you think of it as something you have to endure just so you can get through it, then chances are you will get very little out of it. Even if today were cancelled, you might not miss it. But if you can think of this time as the only time you have— one in which there is no understanding of a tomorrow that has not happened—then you have the opportunity to experience a deep connection with every minute in it. Today I will connect with everything and everyone around me. ************************************************** ~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~ I think the important thing is caring about someone. It's being by themselves that does people in, makes them old and bitter. ~ Thomas Tryon ~ Isolation is always a choice. We choose the times we wish to be with people and the times we don't. Sometimes we choose to be alone to center ourselves−to “get away from it all." But when we start to spend too much time away from others, it's time to take a look at the reasons for our isolation. Perhaps we're afraid to take risks with people and expose our vulnerable selves to them. Or maybe we feel people wouldn't really like us if they knew us. We may believe people will only hurt us, and we can look back into our past to recall such times. But we are different people today. We're involved in a program based on love, trust, faith, and hope. It is a program centered on meetings filled with people caring for one another−exchanging phone numbers, hugging, getting together for coffee, listening, and understanding. It is our choice: isolation or the wonderful benefits of people caring for people. Do I feel isolated tonight? How can I feel more connected? ************************************************** ~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~ Hanging-on days Some days in this program you just have to “hang on.” Somehow we lose contact with our Higher Power and we don’t feel right about anything. So we need to learn what to do to get reconnected, what to do to feel better. Pray. Meditate. Keep in touch with fellow addicts and our sponsor. Work the Steps. Hang on. Time will take away most of our fears, but we should expect, and be prepared for, some days of just “hanging on.” The important point is: Do I have something to hang on to? Higher Power, on those days when I am just hanging on, let me hang on to your love for me. I will strengthen my hold on sobriety today by God help me to stay clean and sober today! ************************************************** ~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~ Loneliness is the most terrible poverty. ~ MOTHER TERESA ~ Newcomer When I was active, I was sometimes the life of the party, but often I sat on the edges of groups and just couldn’t wait to get home and be alone with my drug of choice. Some-times when I’m at a meeting, I feel the same way: I’m irritated with everyone in the room, antsy, anxious to leave. Then it’s over and I get to be alone, but I still feel rotten. Sponsor If relating to other people was hard for us in the past, it makes sense that we haven’t learned to like or trust people overnight. Depending on our histories, openness to people comes more easily and naturally to some of us than to others. If our past relationships were based on addictive sub-stances or compulsive behaviors, we may not be aware that there are people who like us as we are and who don’t intend to exploit or manipulate us. This is an area in which “acting as if” can help us to have new experiences and eventually change our perspective. Sitting in the circle instead of on the edge; raising our hand to share when we least feel like it; forcing ourselves to speak even very briefly to at least one or two people at every meeting; making a daily call to our sponsor and to other recovering people—any one of these may be more difficult for us than reading the literature, working the Steps, or even staying away from our drug of choice. But it’s our spiritual homework. The more we practice, the easier it gets. Today, I take an action to counter any tendency to isolate with my disease. ************************************************** ~ THE EYE OPENER ~ Doubt is the opposite of Faith. No man has either one completely, but even those of little faith have by far more faith than doubt. He may not admit a belief in God or the inherent good in mankind but still there are numberless things in which he has no doubt. If he did not have some faith he would be afraid to go to sleep for fear he wouldn’t waken; he would refuse to eat a meal unless he cooked it himself. He would be afraid to leave his wife to go to work or to leave his job to return to his wife for fear they would not be there when he returned. Reduced to its simplest form, life is good or bad in proportion to our faith and our doubts. ************************************************** ~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~ WHO ARE YOU TO SAY THERE IS NO GOD? As I reflected on this question I tumbled out of bed to my knees. I am overwhelmed by a conviction of the presence of God. It pours through me with the certainty and majesty of a great tide at flood. The barriers I have built denying Your Spirit through the years are swept away. I stand now in the presence of Your Infinite Power and Love. I have stepped from bridge to shore. For the first time, I live in conscious companionship with my Creator. ~ Adapted from Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th ed., published by AA World Services, Inc., New York, N.Y., p. 56. ~ ************************************************* ~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~ ONE ALLEGIANCE Read Matthew 6:24−33. Many Christians accept these facts theoretically, but are less than halfhearted when it comes to their practical application, and this vacillation lands them in difficulties that always follow upon inconsistency and weakness. To try to rest sometimes upon the material basis, and sometimes upon the spiritual, is to try to serve two masters, and this of course cannot be done. Ye cannot serve God, and mammon (Matthew 6:24) Man is essentially spiritual, the image and likeness of God, and therefore he is made for the spiritual basis, and he cannot really succeed on any other. ************************************************** ~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~ When the Student Is Ready When you pray, you pray amiss. Give thanks for the answers to your prayers before you see them manifested. ~ Jesus Christ ~ The men were huddled round the cassette player, listening intently. As I entered Victor's room, I heard a strong voice from the tape: "You are a divine being, created in the image and likeness of perfection. Live the life you were born to live, and never compromise with fear." I was magnetized to the power and authority with which the speaker delivered a stirring address. After the lecture, I asked, "Who was that? Where can I get that tape?" The three fellows looked at each other sheepishly, and Victor answered, "l don't know." "How can you not know? Isn't there a label on it?" "The label is blank," Victor answered. "I got the tape at Radio Shack. I bought a new package of three blank cassettes, and this was one of them." When Spirit wants to get through to you, it will find a way. We never need to struggle to connect with the right people or teachings. When the student is ready, the teacher appears. Everyone and everything that shows up in our life comes to us by vibrational attraction. When you are vibrating at a particular frequency, you draw to yourself all that is in harmony with that frequency. That is why it is useless to try to force the universe to do anything. The level at which human force operates is puny, trivial, and impotent in light of the mighty strength of Spirit to manifest your highest good without struggle on your part. If you want to attract the right job, mate, or living situation, give up fighting to make it happen. Instead, bring yourself into vibrational harmony with the object of your desire. In meditation, prayer, and affirmation, visualize and feel your oneness with the thing you want. When you are energetically unified with your vision, the universe will lay it at your doorstep in miraculous ways. I pray to attract my highest good easily, gently, and joyfully. I let go of struggle and allow Spirit to manifest my good. |
May 27
Step by Step Today, appreciation to the spouse, companion, brothers and sisters, parents, children and friends who wanted to help me as I spiraled out of control but who I shut out, who were and are still there in my recovery. In being focused on my own recovery and working the steps, I have probably been negligent to admit that the hell I put someone else through might have been worse than my own. And I have to acknowledge that they, too, have their own recoveries to work. Today, I will be grateful and offer to anyone who stayed with me a simple thank you and, to them, my superior amend is that, today, I can and will stay sober. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M. ************************************************** ~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~ SUCCESS Success is a ladder that cannot be climbed with your hands in your pockets. ~ American Proverb ~ All too often, we hear someone’s success explained as “a stroke of good luck.” Success and progress are no more the result of good luck than failure is the result of bad luck. Natural ability is of little use unless we develop habits of hard work. Brilliance is born in some, but labor or action is of greater importance. We perform to the best of our ability when we work for the work’s sake, not for any hope of fame. Success results from hard work and confidence in our judgement. The degree of success depends on the amount of good judgement used. Good advice and judgement from others is helpful, but the doing is entirely ours. Success is simply the use of the abilities I have. I must treat them as practical tools, not “magical gifts.” Nobody travels my road for me. ************************************************** ~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~ An error doesn’t become a mistake until you refuse to correct it. ~ Orlando A. Battista ~ In our lives, we have always been drawn to extremes. If it isn’t white, it must be black. If a little bit feels good, we take a lot. If we are going to do something, only perfection is good enough. So if we don’t win, we lose, and if we can’t do it perfectly, we feel like a failure. In this program we learn to seek progress, not perfection. And we can only make progress by trial and error. We learn nothing if we don’t try new things and then learn from our errors. We don’t jump into perfect sobriety the moment we decide to enter this program of recovery. When we surrender to our powerlessness over our addictions and codependency, we have to begin to learn how to live in a new way. It doesn’t just happen all at once. So when we take our errors and our slips and agree to learn from them, we become stronger in our sobriety. Today I accept my imperfection as a permanent condition, and I will keep coming back to the program of recovery. ************************************************** ~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~ We each need a successful experience in order to grow in self-esteem. ~ Joan Gilbertson ~ What constitutes a successful experience? Far too many of us demand the nearly impossible of ourselves before we feel we are a success. Although we don’t need a six-figure salary or an advanced degree to be successful, we may have been encouraged to set impossible-to-achieve goals, or we may have drawn up our own list of unrealistic expectations. In either case, we never saw ordinary achievements as success. Yet we are successful! Every one of us! It’s our definition of success that is wrong, not our attempts to succeed. We must redefine success and then count the myriad ways we demonstrate it at this moment. Success is staying clean and sober, today. Success is thinking before replying to a comment or question. Success is showing respect to everyone around us. Success is sharing the program with someone in need today. Success is feeling gratitude for how far we have come. Success is trusting that our Higher Power will take us even further tomorrow. Each day gives me as many successes as I want. My own actions will determine today’s success. ************************************************** ~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~ I want to feel closer to my higher power I am working on the prayer and meditation Step, Step Eleven, and I have two problems: (a) The only prayers I know (learned in childhood) are not part of me anymore; and (b) I am uncomfortable with the idea of meditation because I don’t like silence or being alone. Yet I want to become more spiritual and feel more connected to my higher power. Fortunately, what I hear from my fellow members is that it’s important to find my own ways to connect with my higher power−there are many ways−prayer and meditation are only suggestions. One person suggested that simply making a phone call to give, or receive, support could be considered a form of prayer. I appreciate such ideas. Perhaps I am already closer to my higher power than I thought. Today I will take ten minutes to ask myself two questions: What is my higher power? And, When (and how) do I feel connected to my higher power? ************************************************* ~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~ If you want the truth, I will tell you the truth: Friend, listen: the God whom I love is inside. ~ Kabir ~ Why is it some days when we wake up and look in the mirror, we feel saddened by the view? We have been our own harshest critics. The sound of that inner voice scolding us can be deafening. It can drown out the real music in our lives. We would never greet a friend this way; why do we treat ourselves so harshly? There is a good, loving human being standing in our shoes, and all the power of a loving Higher Power waiting to be recognized. All we need to do is be quiet, look a little longer, harder, and more gently, and we’ll see and hear our Higher Power. Our way of life is changing and improving each day, at our own best pace. With gentle patience, we begin to become more aware of our Higher Power. As we do, we will be able to listen and be guided by this loving, calming voice within. Today may I speak and listen to myself with respect and joy. ************************************************** ~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~ Gardening is an exercise in optimism. Sometimes, it is the triumph of hope over experience. ~ Marina Schinz ~ Look at a garden that is flourishing, and what you will see is exquisite beauty. It is a marvelous outcome of a gardener’s labor of love. But what you do not see is all that went into the creation of the garden. You do not see the aching knees and back, the dirty fingernails, or the soiled clothing. You do not see the constant weeding, in-sect control, and soil enrichment. What drives the gardener to work so hard at some-thing that may only be for the benefit of a few? For some, it builds closeness to God. For others, it is a visual oasis as well as a useful one that sustains bees, birds, and other living things. A garden can provide a sense of purpose and accomplishment, or satisfy a desire to nurture another living thing. But, mostly, gardeners garden because each new season holds promise. As Marina Schinz says, “This hope for the future is at the heart of all gardening.” Recovery is a similar garden of hope. Each day holds promise and a hope for a better future. To grow as one means to grow together. Recovery is the garden in which I grow and flourish. It provides me with hope and promise for a better future. ************************************************** ~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~ I have but one lamp by which my feet are guided, and that k the lamp of experience. ~ Patrick Henry ~ Think what it would be like to walk through the woods at night without a flashlight. We would be at the mercy of every root, stump, tangle, rock, and hole. Though we may have walked the same way in daylight, without the guidance of light it is as if we are walking the path for the first time. Experience teaches us to use tools when necessary. If something didn’t work for us once, it is up to us to keep trying until we find something that will work. Why stumble in the dark agony of fear, sadness, doubt, anxiety, and insecurity? We have many flashlights to light our paths. They are the slogans, such as Let Go and Let God, First Things First, and Easy Does It. Our experiences and those of others tell us the program works. We can choose to stumble in the dark or walk easily with the light of the program. Although I may be feeling low tonight, I can trust in the experience that tells me to let go, for all is well. ************************************************** ~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~ Waiting for answers We are full of questions and we want answers, answers that just aren’t available to us yet. Our Higher Power will give us the real answers when we can handle them, not be-fore. If we manufacture our own answers, our self-will will only create more questions. Wishes and answers are granted and guided by our Higher Power—provided we keep close enough to be ready for them. Am I willing to wait for the true answers? Higher Power, help me to accept my questions and to wait for the true answers. Today I will prepare myself for answers to my problems by God help me to stay clean and sober today! ************************************************** ~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~ All experience is an arch, to build upon. ~ HENRY ADAMS ~ Newcomer I don’t know exactly what I expected from recovery, but I guess I wanted more. Somehow, I thought I’d be happier. Sponsor I identify with your disappointment. When I was a couple of months sober, I could see that recovery had given me back my life, but I wasn’t very happy with it yet. I no longer used addictive substances or behaviors to keep me from facing reality, but reality wasn’t especially pleasant or easy. I’d neglected work, financial, and family problems. I lacked experience and skill at maintaining healthy human relation-ships. I didn’t like what I saw when I looked in the mirror. It was easy for me to turn around and blame the pro-gram of recovery for my dissatisfaction with myself and my circumstances. Over time, I’d come to depend on particular substances to “fix” my feelings instantly, and now I wanted a similar “quick fix” from the program. I didn’t have much experience with gradual processes, so I didn’t understand that real change—deep change—takes place over time. Consistent, daily efforts to maintain our recovery eventually reveal more to us about who we are and what being alive offers. Though you may not feel happy all the time, happiness will be something you’ll feel more deeply and steadily than in your “active” days. When we stay with recovery, we find in time that no matter what we’re facing in the present moment, we’re grateful to be free of addiction. Today, I celebrate the miracle that I'm alive. I keep returning to this program as a source of sober living, confident that in time its promises will be fulfilled for me. ************************************************** ~ THE EYE OPENER ~ To follow the letter of the law is not enough. You can be moral without difficulty in “solitary.” Do not let your morality be simply restraining and abstaining. Be constructive in your goodness. Be good for something. ************************************************** ~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~ OUR POSSESSIONS Father of Light, teach us to value our possessions in the right way. Help us never to think more of them than of people. Make us ready to use them freely for the good of others. And to share them generously without complaining. Thank you for the beautiful things we enjoy possessing. May our enjoyment be wholesome and right and may we hold to all we own. ************************************************* ~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~ AUTHENTIC SPIRITUALITY Read Matthew 6:25−35. Wherefore, if God so clothe the grass of the field . . . shall he not much more clothe you. O ye of little faith? (Matthew 6:30). Of course, Jesus did not mean that you as a human being are to copy the lives or the methods of birds or flowers literally, for you are infinitely higher in the scale of creation than they are. The lesson is that you are to adapt yourself as completely to your element as they do to theirs. Your true element is the Presence of God. When man accepts the Truth that in God he lives and moves and has his being, as completely and unquestionably as the birds and the flowers accept the truth of their condition, he will demonstrate as easily and as thoroughly as they do. One hears occasionally of curious cases of people who claim to be so spiritual that they do not feel called upon to earn their own living. Someone else who is not too spiritual to go to work, is expected to keep them. But this attitude of mind speaks for itself. If your understanding is sufficient to enable you to dispense with ordinary work, you will find yourself automatically supplied in an independent and self-respecting manner−with a good living. This cannot possibly apply to people who are in debt or sponging upon others. If you really wish to try the experiment of “stepping out” upon the power of the Word, be sure that your so doing is authentic. The only way to make this experiment in a genuine manner is to let it be “demonstrate or starve.” If you are secretly looking to someone else to come to the rescue, you are not really depending upon the Word. ************************************************** ~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~ Find the Miracle While there is a chance of the world getting through its troubles, I hold that a reasonable man has to behave as if he were sure of it. ~ H.G. Wells ~ On a journey through a jungle, a king accidentally cut off his toe while chopping a coconut. "That's wonderful," exclaimed his advisor. "There is a blessing here." The king, angered at the advisor's flippancy, threw him in a pit and left him there. The next day, the king was apprehended by a band of headhunters who decided he would make a good sacrifice. When the tribal priest noticed that his toe was missing, the headhunters released him as an imperfect specimen. Suddenly, the king realized that the advisor was correct, and he returned to the pit and apologized profusely. "No apology necessary," said the advisor. "It was a blessing that you threw me in this hole." "How is that?" asked the king, incredulous. "Because if I was with you, the headhunters would have taken me for the sacrifice!" Imagine that everything that happens to you is assigned by divine order. If you look for miracles, you will find them. Help me see the good in everything. I am in the presence of love, taken care of at all times in all ways. |
May 28
Step by Step Today, my character defects in my Fourth and the amends in my Eighth steps are not confined to wrongs of commission but also to my wrongs of omission. With that, my Fourth and Eighth steps, hopefully, will be more honest. My moral inventory and amends I have tried before have focused on things I have done or said, but they have not included my wrongs done by not saying or doing what I should have. Maybe I neglected or refused to return love or support that someone showed me in my darkest days, or maybe I didn't answer someone's call for help. Today, I return to my Fourth and Eighth steps to decide if I owe restitution not for what I did, but for what I didn't do. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M. ************************************************** ~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~ HONESTY I hope I shall follow firmness of virtue enough to maintain that I consider the most enviable of all titles−the character of an honest man. ~ George Washington ~ Happiness in recovery and in society depends on our honesty. We create pain for others, and ourselves, when we are dishonest. True honesty begins within each of us and flows out to touch those around us. If we are to be true to society, and to ourselves, we cannot feel one thing in our hearts and outwardly speak different views. There is no such thing as too much honesty. When we practice honesty in all our affairs, we discover that the reason for being honest is not because it is expected of us, but because we find that honesty avoids problems and makes our life happier. When I am honest with myself and others, I am making progress towards greatness of character. ************************************************** ~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~ The first peace, which is the most important, is that which comes within the souls of people when they realize their relationship, their oneness, with the universe and all its powers, and when they realize that at the center of the universe dwells Wakan-Tanka, and that this center is really everywhere, it is within each of us. ~ Black Elk ~ When we understand power and powerlessness, we begin to find inner peace. We have often felt alone, isolated from others and from the world. Now we are learning about relationships and our connection to all things. Our biggest mistake was a childish notion that power and control are up to the individual. We didn’t trust or even know about relationships and the forces of the universe. We are actually part of an awesome universe and we have a place in it. When we develop our relationships and understand our oneness with all others and the forces at work, we understand that we are never alone. We only participate in this big picture. Today I live as a relative to all people and the whole world. ************************************************** ~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~ I guess I’m ready, or I never would have started down this rocky road. ~ Jill Clark ~ Our past has prepared us for where we are today. Our fears often prevent us from believing this, but it’s true nevertheless. As we gain trust in this program and in the truths outlined in the Steps, we’ll come to believe that we are exactly where we need to be. And we’ll know that we are in caring hands. When fear of others or of the unknown over-whelms us, we have neglected to let the guiding principles of this program protect us. We don’t ever have to feel afraid or unprepared again. We can share the experiences we learn from with another woman so she can grow too. The rocks in any road are the gifts that push us to fuller development. Without them, we’d never become who our Higher Power has planned for us to be. Let’s practice gratitude today. I am ready for God’s guidance today. The difficult moments may be my most important lessons. I will have faith. ************************************************** ~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~ I am becoming more honest Rejection hurts and I’ve had enough of it. I want people to like me. I don’t want to feel alone. The problem is that if somebody is mad at me, I may apologize even though I’ve done little or nothing wrong. Or I may say yes to someone just because I’m afraid to say no. Both situations cause me shame and anger when I think about them. Through therapy and my program, however, I am coming to see how important it is to be honest. Basically, I need to say what I am feeling, to be straightforward. And I am discovering that people accept me, for instance, even when I disagree with them, even when I tell them no. In fact, some people not only accept me, they come to respect me. Honesty works. I can enlist support when I am afraid to speak my mind. ************************************************* ~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~ The price of wisdom is above rubies. ~ Job 28:18 ~ We’ve all been to meetings where we pick up a nugget of wisdom that helps a great deal. It’s often something we’ve heard before but never thought of in quite that way. A nugget could come from someone whose story we’ve heard hundreds of times, or from a newcomer. There’s no telling. It can be especially helpful to keep these nuggets in a special part of a journal. Take the slogans, “One Day at a Time,” “Keep It Simple,” and “Easy Does It.” These offer particular insights that we keep coming back to. We can add others to that list and collect them. We can go back over the list when we need to, or when we’re asked for some help. It feels especially good to pass them on at other meetings we may attend. Each time we do this we remind ourselves of their wisdom, and we often find a new insight into our own recovery. These slogans, and our Higher Power, can help us keep changing and learning. Today let me be open to learning and hearing things in a way I hadn’t thought of before. ************************************************** ~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~ It made me gladsome to be getting some education, it being like a big window opening. ~ Mary Webb ~ The learning that comes from school or college can im-part great knowledge. With such knowledge comes the ability to read and write and to add and subtract. Such knowledge can teach someone skills to work in a trade or to save lives. While having a diploma or certificate can provide you with a big salary, a nice office, or a fancy car, having an education does not necessarily mean that you have the ability to make appropriate decisions or that you will live without sin and with good moral character. Education is not an end to itself. It is like learning to drive a car. You can study the rules of the road, familiarize yourself with a vehicle, and pass a written test. But when you actually get behind the wheel and drive, you learn so much more about how to be a better driver. The program provides you with the knowledge you need to learn more about your addiction. But it is not until you engage in abstinence and employ the Steps of the program that you can more fully understand what it is you need to do to live your life without your habit. The recovery program is my school. I will attend to my studies each day so I can effectively apply what I learn. ************************************************** ~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~ Everything that is in agreement with our personal desires seems true. Everything that is not puts us into a rage. ~ Andre Maurois ~ There was a woman who prided herself on her ability to achieve. In fact, she bought a button that read: I want it all−I want the best−and I want it now!" Most of the time she got what she wanted, and that made her very happy. But when she didn't get what she wanted, she would throw temper tantrums. We may be like that woman. It may be difficult to accept less than we desire. Not getting our way may be cause for battle, and we may not give up our fight until we do get our way. If everyone acted this way, what would the world be like? Not everyone can be a "taker," receiving all the time. And not everyone can be a “giver," giving all the time. Giving once doesn't mean we always have to give, just as receiving once doesn't mean we'll always receive. We need to keep in mind that there is a balance. To achieve that balance, we need to learn we cannot have everything we want. And that's okay. Do I fly into a rage when I don't get my own way? Help me learn how to receive, as well as how to give. ************************************************** ~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~ Being honest After we’ve been in the program for a while, we may not be as honest with ourselves as we were at first. It’s not easy to stay vigilant. Keep taking our inventory, and look for defects that may have cropped up. It helps to ask our Higher Power for insight so we can see all our defects. We need honesty to stay clean and sober. Am I staying honest with myself? Higher Power, help me to fear my faults less; help me to be honest with myself. I will work on being honest with myself today by God help me to stay clean and sober today! ************************************************** ~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~ The trick is, knowing how to tip ourselves over and let the beautiful stuff out. ~ RAY BRADBURY ~ Newcomer At a meeting, someone asked me how I was, and I started crying. I don’t know what was the matter with me. I couldn’t help it—the tears kept coming. The person I was talking to said, “You’re so lucky you aren’t embarrassed to cry; I wish I could do that.” Later, I found myself laughing. Sponsor It’s not surprising that laughter followed your tears. One of the best ways to heal the grief we’re holding inside is to weep. There’s no virtue in controlling our tears, as some people have mistakenly thought. Tears are not a sign of weakness, and recovery is not about learning to be stoics. We’re meant to cry. Scientists have found that our tears contain toxic substances: when we weep, we are literally cleansing our bodies of poisons. If you think you can’t cry, don’t worry. Tears of healing can’t be forced; they well up when they’re ready to flow. One thing is for sure: if you keep showing up for recovery, you will change. Feelings flow through us with greater ease as we keep surrendering to the process of recovery. Today, my tears and laughter restore my health ************************************************** ~ THE EYE OPENER ~ Love is as necessary to a human being as sunshine is to a plant. Without it the soul of man withers, shrivels and dies. Fortunate is the man who has love given to him but even more fortunate is he who earns it. The only way to earn love is to love. Thou shalt love thy God with all thy heart and thy neighbour as thyself. He who hoards love shall lose it, but he who scatters love about him as he moves through life finds that it takes root and surrounds him on every side. ************************************************** ~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~ SERENE DAYS God of the seas, to You I pray: Bless unto me these serene days. From these wide seas give unto me A larger heart of charity. May these strong tides wash out my mind From all that’s bitter and unkind. With the broad beat of seabird’s wings Lift up my soul to heavenly things. By the far sight of hills untrod Call me to undared ventures, God. Grant that these serene days may be Your holy days indeed to me. ************************************************* ~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~ NOW IS YOUR TIME Take therefore no thought for the morrow for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof (Matthew 6:34) Always remember that the only thought that you need to concern yourself with is the present time. The thoughts of yesterday or of last year do not matter now, because if you can get the present thought right it will make everything else right here and now. The best way to prepare for tomorrow is to make today’s consciousness serene and harmonious. Never go delving in your mind to look for troubles to pray about. Deal faithfully with those that bring themselves to your attention, and hidden things will be taken care of. ************************************************** ~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~ Leap of Faith Only those who dare to go too far can possibly find out how far one can go. ~ T.S. Eliot ~ In one of the popular Indiana Jones movies, Indy (played by Harrison Ford) surmounts a long series of harrowing challenges to arrive at the temple where the chalice of Christ is kept. Our hero stands before a vast bottomless chasm, wondering how he will get across. Then he remembers the instruction he was given to help him at this point: Faith. Indy grits his teeth and steps off the ledge onto nothingness. Then a miracle occurs: a bridge appears beneath his foot, enabling him to reach the grail and save his father's life. The only way we grow is by taking leaps of faith. Such a leap means that we are willing to step into the abyss without any obvious security or guarantee of success. ("If you want a guarantee, buy a toaster.") Even the simple act of walking requires us to be out of balance. When you shift your weight from one foot to another, there is a tiny in-between moment when you are not secure on the old footing or the new. Bless insecurity as an opportunity to be supported by a higher power. It is only when we have exhausted our resources that God can prove his mighty presence. I step ahead knowing that You are here for me. I trust Your arms to comfort me when nothing in the world can. God is my strength in every need. |
May 29
Step by Step "Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity." - Step Two Today, whether a newcomer or veteran of the program, if the term Higher Power discourages me because my faith has been ravaged by alcohol or a less than serene sobriety, let me re-read and understand the literal interpretation of Step Two. We are not asked to believe but come to believe in the possibility of a higher power. If I shrug off that possibility, I need only look to why I came to AA. And in doing that, I also reached for the possibility that some help I needed desperately exists. But if I cannot yet grasp the concept of a higher power, let me believe that Step Two is telling me that coming to believe in and accepting a higher power is a dynamic process, one that requires ongoing change. Just as I did not become sober after my last drink and weeks, months or longer to go from being dry to being sober, so it goes with developing an understanding of the principles of the Twelve Steps. Today, I will not give up if I do not believe in that higher power and instead will proceed with the promise of Step Two that I will one day find it. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M. ************************************************** ~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~ BEING ALONE ON THE BEAM: Getting on with the business of living by using the Program. ~ Anonymous ~ Most of the joys of living come during times of sharing with others. But we would miss a lot if we didn’t make time in which to be entirely alone with our thoughts and take inventory of ourselves. Preparing for the next day by examining the one we’ve just finished gives us a head start on tomorrow. Both activities are done when we are alone. Alone and silent in thought, we need to examine how well we have used the day. Only then are we able to tackle the first hours of a new day. By examining my day as it ends, I can weigh the wins and the losses to strengthen my chances of success with my plans for tomorrow. Then I turn it all over to my Higher Power. ************************************************** ~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~ The kid doesn't chew tobacco, smoke, drink, curse, or chase broads. I don’t see how he can ever make it. ~ Richie Ashburn, Hall of Fame center fielder ~ We grew up with many misguided messages about what it takes to be a real man. These ideas were fun in some ways but led us down paths of self-defeating behavior. They gave us boyish ideas without pointing the way to genuinely strong and masculine lives. Now we know that a strong man has fun but still holds values such as honesty, kindness, and generosity. Toughness is a virtue in many situations, but no one is more masculine than the guy with strength of character. A truly strong man lends a hand to others; he reflects daily on his own character and holds himself responsible. And he can be as sensual and playful as the best of them. Today I am grateful to be walking on the path of a true masculine life. ************************************************** ~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~ Some days really are as good as a bowl of cherries. Thank goodness I now know what to do with the pits. ~ Sarah Desmond ~ Our attitude defines who we are and what we do with the tribulations that trip us. When we are confident or relaxed about the events in our lives, they usually unfold smoothly. On the other hand, when we are nervous or controlling, we can count on trouble. We get what we get in this life. What really matters is how we respond to it. Taking control of our attitude is all that’s necessary. We can’t deny that some experiences are painful, even though they may be important to our growth. We don’t have to like the pain, but the program invites us to incorporate what we learn from it into our lives. We can then share what we learn with others, so they, too, can be helped. I can take what comes and make a blessing of it, both for me and someone else. We learn and grow by sharing our experience, strength, and hope. Today is an opportunity for me and a friend. ************************************************** ~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~ I need to make a relapse prevention plan I am not used to making plans−unless it’s planning to stay high or get high again. Often it’s been hard for me to slow down and think things through. Coming into recovery I have seen that relapse can happen to any of us. I don’t like to think about being back where I was. I don’t want to feel the pain of relapse. So it seems like a good idea to make a relapse prevention plan−a just-in-case plan, a form of insurance. If I should have a slip (á lapse) at some point, it will help me get back on track faster. I will ask my therapist and sponsor to help me develop a relapse prevention plan. ************************************************* ~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~ How important is it? ~ Anonymous ~ The young man in the meeting was very angry and upset. His lawn mower had broken down. He was having a cookout in his back yard that evening, the yard “looked terrible,” and he’d paid a lot of money for that mower! After he went on for some time, an older woman gently interrupted him and asked, “Was anyone hurt? Was there danger? Would your guests walk out?” And, finally, “Did you lose your sobriety over it?” The young man smiled, as he answered “no” to all the questions. “No, it was not that important after all.” We all overreact sometimes to situations, people, and events that, later, we see were really not important. The next time we are bothered by someone or something that threatens to ruin our day, we will try to remember to ask ourselves, “How important is it?” If it’s not important, we’ll spend our time and energy on what is important. There is a world of difference. Today help me to know what is important, to forget what’s not, and ask others for perspective when I’m not sure. ************************************************** ~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~ The challenge for a conductor is not to get the orchestra that you ideally want—the challenge is to take the orchestra in front of you and draw from them something which exceeds their own expectations of what they could be. ~ Roger Nierenberg ~ The program of recovery does not give you recovery. Rather, it teaches you how to recover. It does not give you a better life. Rather, it gives you the tools you need so you can improve your life. It offers you a wealth of knowledge and a fellowship that, together, give you the support you need to make it through each day clean and sober. No matter what you set out to do in life, starting out with a firm idea in mind of what to expect or about how things will go only sets you up for disappointment. It is like deciding to learn the game of golf with the expectation that you will play as well as a professional golfer in six months. Instead, focus on one desire: to learn by doing. Then, strive to do the best that you can by applying what you have learned. What you may discover is that you have exceeded the expectations you did not have! Today I will let go of how I expect things will turn out. Instead, I will learn as much as I can. ************************************************** ~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~ Lost, yesterday, somewhere between sunrise and sunset, the golden hours, each set with sixty diamond minutes. No reward is offered, for they are gone forever. ~ Horace Mann ~ As we reflect on the day, were there moments we wasted? Was there a chunk of time we idled away, perhaps bored or listless? Those moments are gone now. We can never get them back, but we can be more conscious about wasting time tomorrow. When we were drinking or using, we probably wasted a lot of time in bars, in front of the television, or passed out. We may have argued constantly with our drunken spouses or parents, wasting precious evenings and weekends. Or we may have spent all our time with our family and not any time with friends. We don't have to waste time. We can give to others, but not to the extent that it infringes upon our time. We can walk away from an argument and venture out on evenings and weekends. We can put away the bottles and the pills and go to meetings and experience life sober and clean. Time we've wasted is gone, but the time to come we can use' We can let every minute count. I won't waste any more of my life. I will make the most of every minute and resolve not to let precious time slip away. ************************************************** ~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~ Sharing in the fellowship It is said that you can always tell a roomful of recovering addicts because everyone is smoking, drinking coffee, and talking—all at the same time. There is serious truth to this wry glance at the fellowship. Since the program, its slogans are talked about at length. It’s easy for anyone to learn a lot about recovery. Since people’s everyday problems are talked about all the time, it’s enough for anyone to learn about life. It all works! Our big mouths—mouths that kept us sick for so long—are now flapping to keep us well. So our sometimes smoke-filled, coffee- filled, talk-filled clubs, meetings, and social gatherings are the basis for a lot more than laughter—they add up to a major part of our recovery. Am I contributing to the fellowship? Higher Power, help me see what I can contribute to the social life fellowship of recovery. Today I will take part in the fellowship by God help me to stay clean and sober today! ************************************************** ~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~ Don't pick up before the miracle. ~ SAYING HEARD IN MEETINGS ~ Newcomer I feel miserable so much of the time now. My life is full of obligations I don’t have any stomach for. It seems as if my inner demons are always after me, except for the hour or so a day I spend at a meeting. Sometimes I tell myself that if I picked up my addiction again, I could escape all this. Sponsor Thank you for your honesty. Your willingness to share your pain can help to counteract that voice that's telling you you’d be better off going back to your addiction. We’re dealing in reality without a filter, at the very same time that we’re going through the pain of withdrawal from an addictive substance or behavior. In time, the externals will begin to seem a lot easier. The “demons,” as you call them, are more troubling at first. They grow quieter in time and eventually leave, as we stay sober and learn how to face our problems rather than avoid them. It’s important to remember that depression, loneliness, and other negative emotions were not put there by our recovery. The old life we sometimes imagine going back to may not be as free and wonderful as we remember it; addiction blurred the feelings and sometimes kept the demons at bay, but only recovery will free us from them for good. Today, I’m being changed into the person I’ve always wanted to become. ************************************************** ~ THE EYE OPENER ~ Life has been hard on us but most of it was made hard by ourselves. The hard life, however, taught us much; it strengthened our muscles; it broadened our experiences. We are better men because of it. We have known much of hunger, pain, defeat, mental anguish, despair and shame. Only the good survived this ordeal and we can alleviate the sufferings of the world all the better because we have suffered also. God was not punishing us . . . He was conditioning us. ************************************************** ~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~ DWELL IN MY HEART O God, dwell in my heart, Open it out, purify it, make it bright and beautiful, Awaken it, prepare it, make it fearless, Make it a blessing to others, Rid it of laziness, free it from doubt, Unite it with all, destroy its bondage, Let Your peaceful music pervade all its works. Make my heart useful to You and others. ************************************************* ~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~ HOW MUCH FAITH IS NECESSARY? Have faith in your own faith. Have faith enough in yourself to believe that you really have enough faith to move mountains. Is this a strange idea? Probably it is for many people, yet Jesus taught it. People are constantly saying that they wish they had more faith because if they had they could get better results. You have to realize, however, that this attitude of mind is extremely negative. It is affirming, although indirectly, that your faith is very poor−and you know what that means. Jesus said that the very smallest amount of faith (like a grain of mustard seed) is sufficient. If you have faith enough to pray at all, you have enough faith to start with. If you had no faith, you would not be praying. Have faith in your own faith, and that in itself will build it up more and more until the work is done. . . . be not faithless, but believing (John 20:27) ************************************************** ~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~ Blessed Interruptions Life is what happens while you are making other plans. ~ John Lennon ~ The film The Accidental Tourist tells of an emotionally wounded man who shuts down his heart after losing a child. Although he is a renowned author, Macon Leary (played by William Hurt) is lonely and aching for love, He meets a kooky young woman (Geena Davis) who, with her son, invites him to come back to life. At first he resists, but then he recognizes that she is not a threat, but his salvation. "I used to get annoyed when someone pulled me off my track," a friend told me, "but then I discovered that the best parts of my day are the interruptions." Thank God when you are interrupted from your plan. If something comes up that is unavoidable, ask to find the gift in it. Consider the possibility that this person or event has been sent to serve and bless you in some way. Perhaps you are being asked to open your heart more, make a stand for something you believe in, or take a new direction that will ultimately be more meaningful than the one you were headed in. There are no accidents-only opportunities to dance in a bigger universe. Help me be open to opportunities to know myself better. Let me recognize that everyone who comes to me is a teacher, and empower me to do the things that love would have me do. I allow God's plan to substitute for mine. I find the jewel in every encounter, relationship and experience. |
May 30
Step by Step "The old pattern reasserted itself, but it was no longer once every six months. The intervals grew shorter. The binges were longer. They were harder to get off. I wasn't the type that could taper off. I had to stop cold. My last binge followed the previous one by two weeks. I had just come off a good one, and I went back on to the next one." - Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, "They Lost Nearly All," Ch 3 ("Desperation Drinking"), p 514. Today, guard against the passage of time and my last drunk from fading the memory of what my drinking days were really like - pure desperation. If it is true that the best predictor of my future is my past conduct, I cannot afford to "romanticize" my drinking, that it was "fun" and that it didn't rip a path of destruction through myself and others. God grant me the honesty and wisdom to remember the desperation that finally pushed me to seek help after I exhausted all the denial, justifications and rationalizations. Let me understand and accept that desperation is all that awaits me again if I am not honest with myself in remembering what active alcoholism is truly like. Today, the desperation that is always there to greet me again can wait. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M. ************************************************** ~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~ EASY DOES IT It isn’t the load that weighs us down, it’s the way we carry it. ~ Anonymous ~ There is a saying in the entertainment world that it takes most performers at least twenty years to become overnight successes. Many a person who is impatient to set the world on fire could be served best by a discussion on “Easy Does It: and “One Step At A Time.” Rome, they say, wasn’t built in a day. Nor is character growth. When we try to climb ladders several steps at a time, we invite accidents. But the advice “slow but sure” doesn’t mean not making the effort. Progress is always more lasting when made with caution. We solve problems as they arise, rather than trying to move around them. I risk losing serenity if I let impatience force me into trying to do too much in too short a time. ************************************************** ~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~ Never let the fear of striking out get in your way. ~ Babe Ruth ~ Fear is a normal emotion that many of us have to face. Some call it one of their character defects. We may have been more ruled by it than we admitted to ourselves. We allowed fear to be our guide when higher purposes told us we should make other choices. Because we honored our fears, we took refuge in controlling others, or in the fleeting ecstasies of our addictions. But that trap doesn’t have to keep its grip on us. The best cure for fear is to confront it again and again. Fear of heights goes away when we repeatedly face high places. Fear is just another emotion; it doesn’t have to rule our choices. The best way to handle fear is to acknowledge the feeling and then put it in our back pocket while we move forward and do what we need to do. We also have the reassurance that we need not face anything alone. Our Higher Power is always with us. We focus on doing our best and turn the outcome over to the care of God as we understand God. Today I will acknowledge my fears, pay attention to them, and then follow the guidance of my higher purposes. ************************************************** ~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~ You don’t have to seek God in church. I find God within my heart. ~ Sandra Lamberson ~ Perhaps the most enlightening detail we learn in Twelve Step recovery is that God takes any form that suits us. It’s not unusual to hear women speak of the Goddess who directs their activities. Others seek their Spirit in nature. Many of us still imagine the God of our childhood, the man in flowing robes with outstretched arms. Creating the image we want and a relationship that will sustain us is an amazing gift we receive from being sober. Our sponsors say it’s very important to find a God of our understanding. It’s not unusual to enter the Twelve Step program with anger toward God, but we will be more productive if we develop a reliance on some Power outside of ourselves. The best thing to do is experiment with this new partnership. When you are faced with a situation you feel unprepared for, ask the God of your understanding for help. The results will amaze even the most cynical. I will bring along my Companion today. Together we can handle whatever comes. ************************************************** ~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~ I can manage intense feelings It seems that my drug masked a lot of my feelings. And now that I’ve been clean and sober for a few weeks, I’m flooded with emotions: guilt, shame, fear, anger, self-pity, and more. At times I can’t think straight. (At times I can’t think.) Everything seems to be coming at me at once. When I called my sponsor, he agreed that this isn’t an easy time and he reassured me that my experience is normal for early recovery. While easier said than done, he thought it might help to practice allowing the feelings to pass through, without fighting them too hard. But most important, he reminded me that I am sane and sober and getting better. At that very point, I felt better. I am grateful for my sponsor and I am learning to trust him. I will practice a regular exercise routine and check in regularly with my sponsor. ************************************************* ~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~ It is the chiefest point of happiness that a man is willing to be what he is. ~ Erasmus ~ As children, we often played at what we wanted to be when we grew up. As adults, when we try to be something or someone we’re not, there isn’t the same opportunity to play-act and return to our “old” self as we did when we were children. As adults, we find that our recovery progresses when we begin to be content with who we are. This means accepting our flaws as well as our strengths. It may also mean letting go of some dreams we had as children and accepting the fact that it’s okay not to be the company president or the basketball star. It doesn’t mean we’ve failed if we aren’t perfect or haven’t become superstars. Happiness and serenity come from loving ourselves as we are, rather than wishing we were someone else. Today help me recognize that I am a spiritual being, and I don’t need to be anything, or everything, I’m not. ************************************************** ~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~ When I played drunks I had to remain sober because I didn’t know how to play them when I was drunk. ~ Richard Burton ~ Would you board an airplane if you knew the pilot had just knocked back a few in the airport bar? Would you consent to surgery if you smelled liquor on the breath of your surgeon? Would you write a check for a down payment on remodeling work to a contractor who reeked of marijuana? When you were using, you may have believed that a pill or booze or some other substance enhanced your skills—you were stronger, smarter, funnier. But now you know that these things were far from the truth. Being inebriated or high may have made you the life of the party, but it also probably made you the butt of jokes, destroyed your career, ruined your marriage, or put your life or the lives of others in jeopardy. Today you can draw your strength, intelligence, humor, and other positive elements from a new habit: recovery. Even though you may feel confused or weak at times, those are not the symptoms of a bad habit. Those are the experiences of someone who is engaging on a journey of self-discovery. Your life is much more manageable now because you are in control, not your habit. I live my life today with the new habit of being clean and sober. ************************************************** ~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~ The first step in solving a problem is to tell someone about it. ~ John Peter Flynn ~ Many times we may believe we should keep our problems to ourselves. Why should we worry others? Or perhaps we don't believe we'll get help and support, only pity and sympathy. Maybe we don't want others to know we have problems. Everybody has problems, even the people who seem to be all smiles and good cheer. Yet nobody solves problems alone. Many call upon their Higher Power or a close friend. Others use their sponsor or counselor. Some use meetings. All of these people who share their problems will find a solution. It's when we don't use any other sources that our problems become too difficult to handle. Every problem has a solution, but that answer may not lie within our grasp. When we ask for answers, we are admitting we can't find the answers ourselves. That is the First Step to the program and the first step to living sanely and sensibly. A shared problem is always a solved problem. I can share my problems with my Higher power tonight. I can ask for help and thereby find a solution. ************************************************** ~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~ Paying attention Planning our own speech during a discussion meeting makes it hard to listen. Recovery requires silence and attention. Sometime, somewhere, something we’ve heard in a meeting may come to mind just when we need it. But if we sit at meetings en-grossed in our own thoughts, we can’t learn the suggestions we may need to help us in times of danger. Do I pay close attention at meetings? Higher Power, help me to open my ears and close my mouth just a little more today. I will practice staying focused today by God help me to stay clean and sober today! ************************************************** ~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~ I wish you a slow recovery. ~ SAYING HEARD IN MEETINGS ~ Newcomer I feel as if I should be doing better than this by now. Sponsor I can identify with your belief that you should be doing better faster. I sometimes feel that about the pace of my own recovery as if we recovering people are in some sort of race with time. As active addicts, we had little experience with any long process. We believed in instant results, like the ones we were used to getting from our addictive substance or behavior. So we may not be qualified to judge what our rate of progress should be. One antidote to my impatience is hearing about myself from people who saw me at meetings in the early days of my recovery. Paradoxically, I feel reassured when they laugh and make statements like, “I remember what you were like: you were bouncing off the walls!” Their perspective reminds me that I’ve come a distance on my journey. What can best further your journey is leaving the timetable for recovery in your Higher Power’s hands as you focus your whole being—all of your attention—on this present moment. Today, I don't measure myself. I trust that I'm everything I should be in this moment. ************************************************** ~ THE EYE OPENER ~ We are all familiar with that class of people who have a drinking problem; they know they have it and they know they can do nothing about it themselves. They also know that we had a similar problem and that we did something about it; their own eyes bear testimony to that effect−yet they refuse to take the message we bring them. They have ears yet they will not hear. It is not our purpose to sell them a bill of goods. Our message is only for those who want it. They aren’t ready yet, so conserve your efforts for those who are hungry for what we have to give. ************************************************** ~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~ FOR FAMILIES TORN BY ADDICTION We pray, O God of hope, For all families Whose lives are torn and disrupted By addiction. Enable them to identify the illness. Strengthen them to seek help. Bless them with the power of Your love, Which imparts transformation and wholeness To those who trust in Your name. Grant that as they walk this tortured road, They may journey together And bind close in the bond of love. Amen. ************************************************* ~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~ ROUGH ROAD Everyone on the spiritual path has found that it happens occasionally in the early years−and not often then−that he suddenly finds himself almost or quite unable to pray. Often it seems that he cannot get any sense of contact with God. This naturally depresses him and sometimes leads to greater fear and almost to despair. Now, these severe reactions are not necessary, once you know that everyone goes through them. This trouble is caused by overdoing. You have been praying too long or too hard, or you have been giving too much time to spiritual work exclusively, instead of having other interests in your life too. It is really a condition of staleness and psychological congestion. The medieval mystics called these times “seasons of dryness” and suffered severely because they believed them to be sinful. The remedy is not to struggle, but to know that this dryness will surely pass, and your spiritual joy return. If you cannot pray, do not try, but think, “God is so good that I need not pray; he will take care of me anyway,” (Of course, this itself is a wonderful prayer.) On a long motor tour, it sometimes happens that you come upon a piece of rough, bad road. For hundreds of miles the going has been perfect, but now you are shaken and bumped badly, but you do not worry, because you know for certain that it will only last for a few miles. Indeed, there is probably a notice saying “Pavement ahead.” . . . weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning (Psalm 30:5). ************************************************** ~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~ Tell Me Before I Forget You will remember everything the instant you desire it wholly. ~ A Course in Miracles ~ The parents of a four-year-old boy arrived home with his new baby brother. Soon the elder child began to pester his parents to leave him alone with the infant. Fearing that the four-year-old might hurt the baby, they refused. Finally, after the boy persisted, the parents consented. As a safeguard, they turned on the intercom to monitor the boy's visit. Listening from the kitchen, they heard the older brother approach the crib, lean over, and ask the baby, "Tell me about God-I'm beginning to forget." We have all forgotten about God, and we are starting to remember. We love children because they still bear the innocent light of heaven, and they have not yet been sullied by the pain and small thinking of the world. They are our connection to the divine. The light that children shine still lives within us. It has not been lost, just covered over. The spiritual path is not one of attainment, but return. We are returning to our innate wisdom that the beauty we seek shines in us, through us, as us. Help me remember my divine origin. Let me rediscover the innocence within me and all of life. I am innocent. I am free. The God I seek lives within me. |
May 31
Step by Step "...(D)eep down in every man, woman and child is the fundamental idea of God. It may be obscured by calamity, by pomp, by worship of other things, but in some form or other it is there. For faith in a Power greater than ourselves, and miraculous demonstrations of that power in human lives, are facts as old as man himself." - Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, Ch 4 ("We Agnostics"), p 55. Today, if I expect AA to work for me, I must work with it, and I must knock down the wall that separates me from a power stronger than myself to begin my recovery. If I am struggling or even rejecting the possibility of such a power, let me read and embrace these words and accept on blind faith the hope that somewhere inside me is a "fundamental idea of God." He, God, need not be a religious entity but a spiritual one, and a "spiritual awakening," even if it is a basic change in my psyche or character, is required if I am to achieve any kind of quality sobriety. Today, I must put aside any resistance and open myself to the idea of a power stronger than myself so that I can earn the benefits of recovery. If alcohol is stronger than me, I have to believe that a force stronger than alcohol can restore me. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M. ************************************************** ~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~ BACKING OFF MISTAKES: The more I turn outward to others, the stronger I become within. Mistakes are facts of life. It is my response to them that counts. ~ Anonymous ~ It's brave to believe that nothing is impossible, but such an attitude isn't real. It's impossible to change things we have said and actions we wish we hadn't taken. We can learn from older and wiser members that we can be happy without winning every battle. The most important battle we must win is to stay clean and sober. We may have some rude awakenings if we think to fight any other battle than staying abstinent. It's foolhardy not to back away from the impossible just so we can feel "heroic." Each time we back off from confusion, we buy valuable time to find a better way. There is no disgrace in changing directions when the way we're going is wrong. When I back off things I can't change, I win. ************************************************** ~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~ I have one request: may I never use my reason against truth. ~ Elie Wiesel ~ Honesty with ourselves is a great asset in every situation we confront. The skill to look reality square in the face and call it what it is takes us a good distance toward coping with it. However, many of us also have the skill to spin or rationalize our actions so that we don’t have to face something unpleasant. That skill provides us with excuses and evasions but it is the greatest betrayal of our selves. When we use our brain to cleverly cover the truth of our actions, we often believe our own lies, and then we’re incapable of rectifying them. Just as dishonesty builds and grows on itself, so does honesty. We cannot one day decide to be honest and change in a flash because we don’t see all of our self-deceit yet. But we can make the decision to be as honest as we know how. Then we will soon be surprised by how much is revealed to us as the fog of our self-deceit lifts and our honesty builds upon itself. Today I will strive to see reality as it is and not shape it to suit my ego’s desires. ************************************************** ~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~ Women, especially, feel caught between our fundamental connectedness and a sense of isolation. The challenge is to be intimate with another and still remain true to ourselves. ~ Sherry Ruth Anderson, Patricia Hopkins ~ Do we respond too quickly to the needs of others? It’s important, of course, to respond respectfully—with love and acceptance—to others’ problems. However, we need to decide what we can comfortably give while remaining true to our own needs. That’s not always easy. Why is it so hard to feel genuine oneness with others and to feel wholeness as an individual con-currently? A blessing of this recovery path is that we are learning how to do both. It takes time, though. And it takes willingness to be quiet and listen to our inner voice when the call comes to be there for someone else. It’s good that we desire intimacy; it’s also good that we want some time away from the crowd. Including both, in a balanced way, is a special gift of this journey we make. I will listen to my own needs along with those voiced by my friends today. God can help me decide how to respond. ************************************************** ~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~ I need to stay in touch with people I’m not behaving the way I really want to these days. It's like when I used to get high regularly and then act out. I feel like I’m making the same mistakes. I keep making people mad at me. Sometimes I think it would be better if I didn't see anyone or even talk to anyone. But that's not what I hear in my support group. They say that if I talk about my behavior and my feelings, if I let out some of the hurt, I will feel better. It's when I keep the feelings inside that I start to spiral down. To be open or ask for help right now is hard for me, yet it looks like that’s what I need to do for my recovery. I will be sure to get in touch, and stay in touch, with my counsellor, sponsor , or a trusted friend. ************************************************* ~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~ Love truth, but pardon error. ~ Voltaire ~ Often, we don’t like to admit it when we are wrong, even though simple logic tells us no one can be right all the time. And much of what we often argue about as right or wrong has nothing to do with right and wrong. Is it right or wrong to wear a red dress rather than a blue one? Or to take the bus rather than the train to work? Life is too short to always try to be right, or to put everything into the category of right or wrong. We save ourselves a lot of grief and pain when we are able to admit we made a mistake, and avoid using the labels “right” and “wrong” when they just don’t apply to the situation. We find great freedom in letting most things just be what they are, without a judgment from us. And we learn to love ourselves and those around us the same way. Today help me to admit when I am wrong, and not gloat when I am right. May I not see everything in terms of right or wrong. May I avoid being self-righteous. ************************************************** ~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~ Nothing is so difficult as not deceiving oneself. ~ Ludwig Wittgenstein ~ Look in the mirror and stare at yourself. Think about what you see. Refrain from any desire to wish for some-thing to be different. See yourself for how you look at this particular moment. The same critical eye with which you see what you really look like is the same view you need to take in your work on Step Five. After having completed a searching and fearless moral inventory in Step Four, you are now ready to admit to God, to yourself, and to another human being what you have found. It is one thing to confess such things to your Higher Power and to personally accept responsibility. It is entirely another to admit such things to someone else. That is why it is important to choose this person wisely. While you may be tempted to talk to someone whom you have harmed, that is better saved for Step Eight. Instead, work on Step Five with your sponsor. The foundation of trust and honesty in this relationship will provide you with a safe space in which to admit your wrongs. Today I will work on Step Five with my sponsor. If I have already done so, I will reflect upon what I have done in the past to see if there is anything I have left out. ************************************************** ~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~ The voice of intelligence is soft and weak. It is drowned out by the roar of fear. It is ignored by the voice of desire. It is contradicted by the voice of shame. It is hissed away by hate and extinguished by anger. Most of all, it is silenced by ignorance. ~ Karl Menninger ~ The story of Sybil tells of a woman who sheltered sixteen personalities within her. Her confusion and fear about the many voices made it almost impossible to make decisions and to be herself. Instead of being one person she was sixteen, until she got help. Many times we may feel like Sybil. Inside, many voices try to tell us what to do, contradict us, knock us down, or make us cringe in fear. Yet we don t have to listen to those voices. We only need listen to the one that is guided by our Higher Power. That voice tells us we're good, we're doing good things for ourselves, and the program gives us all we need to get better. This voice can become louder and more powerful in time, gradually drowning out the other voices we've let run our lives. Tonight I'll tune in the best voice−the one of my Higher Power. I'll turn my will over to the voice and let it guide me. ************************************************** ~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~ Living today well Our Higher Power’s will for us is always better than our own, but we cannot see this truth unless we let go enough to venture into the new areas to which we are being led. To experience growth, we must let go of old ideas. (Our old ideas fit only our drug world.) Each day, well lived, moves us closer to what we are seeking. We must become more giving and more willing to use what we have today. Am I living today well? Higher Power, help me accept your will for me today. I will live today well by God help me to stay clean and sober today! ************************************************** ~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~ There is a way to look at the past. Don’t hide from it. It will not catch you if you don’t repeat it. ~ PEARL BAILEY ~ Newcomer The speaker at a meeting I attended talked about his last days of active addiction. He had no friends, no possessions. He lived in a kind of extreme degradation, isolation, and poverty that I haven’t experienced. If one person hadn’t helped him, he’d never have made it to recovery. For some reason, he reached me on a deeper level than other speakers with whom I have much more in common. Sponsor Perhaps your story has more in common with extreme, rock-bottom misery than you know. In early recovery, I accepted my need for a program of recovery, but thought there were many who were worse off than I was. It took time and willingness to face my past with excruciating honesty, to grasp the depths of my loneliness and despair at the end of active addiction. A house, a job, a bank account, and even family and friends are no protection from where this disease can take us. Whether we’ve gone all the way downhill or stopped part way down, we sense that we were on a course of self-destruction more isolated and dangerous than we were willing to admit. Today, I'm grateful for every story of addiction and recovery that I hear; there is something in each of them that illuminates my own path. ************************************************** ~ THE EYE OPENER ~ For a person to attempt to live apart from this world is as useless as for a drop of water to live apart from the ocean. God put everything in this world and He takes nothing out. To endeavour to withdrawal from the world’s activities is another way of fooling yourself. We are an influence for good or evil regardless of our attempts to hide from society at large. When a rock falls from a cliff into the sea, it is not merely that the land is one rock less, it means the contour of the whole continent has changed. However, it is still a part of God’s Universe whether it can be seen by man or not. ************************************************** ~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~ WESLEY P.’s PRAYER Dear God, please fill me With your loving spirit, and Let it flow through me Into the lives of others. Amen ************************************************* ~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~ THE FOURTH MAN When Nebuchadnezzar sent out his decree that everyone in his kingdom should bow down and worship the golden image that he had erected, there were three men who refused to obey. These were Shadrach, Meshach, and Abed-nego, Hebrew officials in the province of Babylon. Nebuchadnezzar called them before him, and they bluntly told the King that their God would deliver them from the fiery furnace to which they would be consigned, but even if God did not deliver them, they would still serve Him and Him alone. Nebuchadnezzar had the three men thrust into the fiery furnace, and the heat was so intense that it slew the guards who threw them in. Then, as he looked in upon the three faithful Hebrews, Nebuchadnezzar was astonished to find a fourth man walking in the flames with the other three. Shadrach, Meshach, and Abed-nego walked out of the fiery furnace without a blemish or scar. So it is when we hold steadfastly to God, and give all power to Him. He sends his messenger to deliver us from our furnace of fear and frustration. Then do we know that nothing shall by any means harm us. Blessed be the God of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abed-nego, who hath sent his Angel, and delivered his servamts that trusted in him . . . (Daniel 3:28). ************************************************** ~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~ Grossing the Line The obligation of the comedian is to find where the line is drawn, deliberately cross it, and make the audience glad you took them with you. ~ George Carlin ~ In the film Meetings with Remarkable Men, young George Gurdjieff comes upon a Russian country village where some children are playing a cruel trick on one of their peers. Gurdjieff finds a young schoolboy trapped inside a chalk circle drawn by the other children. Under the superstitious belief that anyone caught inside such a circle is trapped by the devil's power, the boy cannot escape, and he is terrified. With compassion, Gurdjieff rubs out a portion of the circle, and the boy flees. Many of the beliefs that hold us hostage are no more real than the chalk circle. When we examine our perceived limits or someone else demonstrates that they are not valid, a portion of our chalk line is rubbed out, and we grow beyond our imprisoning perceptions to gain the freedom we deserve. What do you believe you cannot do? Are you willing to call to question your sense of limits? Would you rather be right, or free? Make a list of all the things you would like to do, but believe you cannot. Then examine each of your reasons and consider whether they are real, or simply represent a belief you are holding. You may be pleasantly surprised to find that you are not as constrained as you believed. Look fearlessly and honestly upon your limits, and you will find that you are more powerful than any of your fears. Show me the way to freedom. Dissolve my limits, that I may live the life you intended. I am unlimited. I am free. My life is an ever-expanding adventure. |
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