Wisdom For Today - August
 

August 1

Wisdom for Today
When I was active in my addiction I worked hard to hold things together. One place this was especially true was on the job. I thought that if I kept my business in tact, then my life was okay. I worked in construction and took pride in many of the jobs I worked on. As a builder I thought I was doing a good job and could take pride in my work. But there was one construction project I was involved in that I took no pride in at all.
This was the wall that I built. Slowly stone by stone and brick by brick I built this wall. It got so tall, and it fully surrounded me. It cut me off from family and friends. I was also walled off from God. It doesn't matter what my beliefs were then. The fact was that I was doing things to hide from my Higher Power. I did not want to be seen. This wall had many bricks - shame, remorse, resentment, guilt and fear. Do I see clearly the wall that I have built up in the past?
Meditations for the Heart
When I looked at this wall it seemed too big a project to tear down. I didn't even know where to start. In truth I had made a very strong wall. Fortunately I did not have to take this wall down by myself. In coming to believe in a Power Greater than myself again, I found help in tearing down the wall. What surprised me most was to see that God was right there beside me all along taking down the stones and brinks I had so skillfully piled up. Now I can start each day new, and now I work on building bridges rather than walls. Am I willing to follow God's plan for construction in my own life?
Petitions to my Higher Power
God,
You provide me with a new set of blueprints for my life. Teach me to use the stones and bricks to build a strong foundation in my recovery. Let me find places in my life to build bridges in the relationships harmed by my addiction. Let me each day cross these bridges without fear.
Amen

August 2

Wisdom for Today
I used to love the process of getting high. The anticipation of the rush and the feeling of euphoria always kept me coming back. I chased after the exhilaration and excitement. I always wanted to find that perfect high again. At least I tried to make the world seem right again. But there was always the morning after. The incredible feeling of regret and remorse! Waking up and feeling like my head was two sizes too big. Some mornings I could not even remember what I had done the night before.
In the AA program I no longer seek after a rush. It is not exhilaration and excitement I need. Now I seek after satisfaction with myself. I seek to live life to its fullest and without regret. Today I am making memories that count. So much has changed with this simple program. Today I can find happiness. Today I can find inner peace. Today I can find and hang onto serenity. Am I finding happiness in the reality of life in the program?
Meditations for the Heart
I used to be filled with envy and jealousy when I looked at others. I was angry that they could have a normal life and I could not. It took some time but I stopped looking at others through eyes of comparison and judgment. I began to look for the good in others and tried to see past my judgment. I work to see that all people have struggles and all people have strengths. I look to see the good in others and myself. I no longer carry the shroud of shame. I know that this new vision I have received comes only through the program and from my Higher Power. Do I look for the good in others? Do I see the good that is now a part of my life? Am I grateful for this new vision?
Petitions to my Higher Power
God,
In this new day let me seek to share Your vision for my life. Let me cast aside my need to judge others. Let me find the inner strength to see my life in a new way. Help me to create new memories with which I can find ongoing satisfaction. Let this satisfaction continue to grow in me always.
Amen

August 3

Wisdom for Today
It seemed like I was always bored when I was using. Nothing really interested me anymore. I drank and used to escape this boredom, or I would work to create a crisis in my life to find a way out of the boredom. Sure there were times when I had fun, but most of the time I was just bored. Sometimes I would make up stories and lie just to make myself look good. Yes, I enjoyed the scamming and the tall tales, but every night I would go home to the same old thing. I really didn't have any friends, just people with whom I passed the time.
Early in recovery I thought that AA was boring. I thought that staying clean and sober was a terrible way to have to exist. I was wrong. Why was it that so many people decided to stay after the meeting? What was it that kept them interested? I began to hang out after the meetings and soon learned that recovery had many faces, none of which are boring. Here I learned of truth. Here I learned how to value friendship. Here I learned about trust. No longer did I need to scam. These people were genuine and real. They talked honestly and openly. I found a new sense of energy and no longer was bored. Have I found new meaning and something exciting about life in recovery?
Meditations for the Heart
Hope can accomplish many things in recovery. I have watched as one obstacle after another fell or disappeared from my life simply because I was willing to hold onto hope. Hope that God could and would if He were sought! Hope that the promises could be true even for me! Hope comes through working these steps. It comes to us as a gift of His grace. Hope comes to us in surrender, and it grows in our hearts with each new day. Sometimes it seems elusive, and at other times hope can seem very distant. Yet if we search, there is always hope. Have I found hope in the Twelve Steps?
Petitions to my Higher Power
God,
You have helped me find new meaning in my life. You have planted a seed of hope deep within my heart. Help me this day to cultivate and nourish this hope. Let it ever grow to strengthen me. Guide me always back to the roots of this hope for a new life in the program.
Amen.

August 4

Wisdom for Today
It seemed that I was always in conflict with someone when I was actively drinking and using. Generally I would start the conflict. It was like I had to stand in rigid opposition to whatever the other person’s opinion was. In fact, being rigid seemed to be my mode of operation in many aspects of my life. I was always ready to stand up to someone. If I was challenged, I accepted the call. Sometimes I would stand up just so I cold push others around.

In recovery there are times when we indeed need to stand up for our opinions; but the reality is that being rigid in recovery doesn't work. In fact, being rigid often means we risk breaking. I have learned that it is equally, if not more important, to be flexible. Flexible means that I am open to hearing other people’s opinions. Have I sought
to be more open to others? Am I convinced that I am not always right? Am I more flexible in my relationships with others?
Meditations for the Heart
When I walked through the doors of the program I really needed help. More help than I needed, more help than I would have guessed at first! What really surprised me was the fact that help was there for me. All I needed to do was ask. Soon after joining the fellowship I was faced with the reality that others in the program were asking for help as well. I recall sitting on the sidelines afraid to speak up and offer my opinion. I didn't think I could say anything that might be of help to others. I was so wrong. Today I recognize just how important the newcomer is. Many a new member has said things that I have found helpful. In truth, much of what I have learned along the way has come from newer voices in the program. This is not to say that the old-timers are not important as well. Am I willing to stand up and give my opinion to others? Do I offer to help others in need?
Petitions to my Higher Power
God,

In this new day let me learn when to be rigid and when to be flexible. Help me always to be open to listening to other people’s opinions. Let me seek to have courage to share with others and wisdom to know when to be quiet. Help me to trust that Your vision for my life is always right.
Amen.

August 5

Wisdom for Today
There is a music group called Jars of Clay. In one of their songs the words go as follows, "Got to admit I love these chains; crawling around this cage sometimes has it's advantages. Perhaps one day this could get old..." While these words probably were not written about addiction, I believe they do describe what addiction was like for me.
I really loved the chains of addiction for a while. Then I began to feel like all I did was live in and crawl around in a cage with the delusion that somehow it had its advantages. Then one day it just got old. Day after day I was stuck in a frenzied darkness. Day after day I found myself empty, alone and crazy. I wanted to stop the insanity but didn't know how. Do I want the insanity to stop?
Meditations for the Heart
Step Two tells us that the insanity of addiction can stop. We have already admitted that we cannot make it stop; but there is One, who has all power that can relieve us of the insanity. Not only can we be relieved of the insanity, but we can also have the chains of bondage broken. We find that we no longer have to wander around in a cage. We begin to understand that there is no advantage to living in this manner. Yes, it is possible; and all we have to do is believe that a Power outside of us can and will show us the way out. Am I willing to give up my old beliefs and trust in a Higher Power?
Petitions to my Higher Power
God,
In this new day let me come to believe that You can and will show me a way out of the insanity of my disease. Help me to see the chains of addiction for what they were. Let me begin to enjoy a new life outside of the cage I had grown so accustomed to. Help me to see that true recovery never gets old.
Amen.

August 6

Wisdom for Today
I think each of us had had the experience of the bright lights outside of the tavern calling to us. We think about how inviting an atmosphere it is. We think about the camaraderie we once knew in these places. It doesn't take long with this kind of thinking to begin to think about drinking and using. And we all know where that can lead.
In the program this is called “stinking thinking;” and yet I have to wonder if so many of us have this experience, isn't this just a normal part of recovery? I think temptation will always be around. It is what we do or don't do with temptation that gets us in trouble. I can choose to think the drink through till the end and remember what waking up with a hangover was all about. I can choose to call my sponsor to talk things out. I can choose to recall my ever-present need for a Higher Power. Yes, today I have choices that I never had before. Am I making wise choices for my recovery?
Meditations for The Heart
In early recovery I really was overwhelmed frequently. I would go to meetings just to be in the presence of other recovering people. It was where I felt safest. Looking back, there was a much deeper reason I needed to be at those meetings. This was where my strength came from. This is where I first began to search for a new relationship with God. Each of us in the recovery process has the same inner desire. To be in the presence of God, as we understand Him. I did not know this early on, but over time I have come to believe that this inner desire is what I was seeking after. It is what I continue to seek after. Do I see my need for this relationship with a Power Greater? Do I feel an inner calm when I am in His presence?
Petitions to my Higher Power
God,
Here in this place of quiet, I seek You out. In the busy and crazy times, I also seek You out. In the passing thoughts of my day, I seek you out. Help me to feel Your presence in my life this day. Let me know that I can always turn to You. Guide my thoughts to Your wisdom when I am faced with choices today.
Amen.

August 7

Wisdom for Today
No longer do I wake up in the morning with my head feeling two sizes too big. Can't say I jump out of bed like I did in my youth, but I no longer awaken with feelings of regret and emptiness. Now there is something new. There is an inner feeling of calm and knowing that I can find happiness in my day. I used to turn to alcohol and drugs to find happiness but was continually disappointed. Sure, there were good times; but as time went on, I had fewer and fewer of these experiences. I began to see trouble and grief.
Somewhere I crossed the line and became addicted. Somewhere I lost my ability to control my use, and it began to control me. Somewhere I began to use just to feel normal. I no longer sought happiness and found myself searching for escape. Time after time I was given opportunities to change my ways but kept looking for the magic again. This magic never returned. Have I stopped looking for the magic?
Meditations for the Heart
Learning to wait for God's guidance can be difficult. I was used to the immediate gratification that alcohol and drugs gave me. In recovery I have had to learn to wait. I needed to wait for direction before making any important decision. I needed to wait for His guidance before I made any significant changes. I needed to wait with hope, and I needed to wait with trust that the answers would indeed come. Indeed the answers have come, and I am sure there are still others for which I must wait. Parts of recovery require action, and parts of recovery require us to wait. Yet neither action nor waiting can be accomplished without His grace. It is this grace that allows us to find our way. Am I willing to wait for the answers I seek?
Petitions to my Higher Power
God,
It is with gratitude that I wake this morning. I may never fully understand Your grace in this lifetime, but I now can see that it is only through Your help and guidance that I am able to wait for the answers I seek. Help me this day to seek Your guidance in all that I do. Let me put away any wishes for a magic fix. Instead, teach me the next right thing to do.
Amen.

August 8

Wisdom for Today
In the end of my drinking and using career, I kept on drinking and using despite the fact that it gave me nothing but trouble. In those times nothing much mattered anymore. That is, except for keeping myself supplied with enough to get high the next day. I knew what would happen if I ever ran out. It would not take long, and I would be sick. Still I kept using. I remember thinking I must be crazy. Why would anyone behave in the way that I was? Everyone else still seemed to have a good time, but I was too busy thinking about the next day to have a good time.
In recovery I no longer need to be focused on tomorrow. I have learned to live life one day at a time. I have learned that I was not crazy, at least not any crazier than the other people I see at meetings. I no longer feel alone. I feel empowered by the fellowship of the program and the Twelve Steps. So much good is happening to me living life in the here and now. No more need to worry about tomorrow! Have I learned that I am not alone? Do I work at living life to its fullest each day?
Meditations for the Heart
Years ago before my addiction took over, I worked as a lifeguard. I knew how important it was to keep a watchful eye on those under my care. I knew what to do in case there was trouble, and I knew that I had a lifeline I could throw to those in need. The program is like this; and so is God, as I understand Him. He watches out for me, and He knows what to do if I get into trouble. I have faith in His lifeline. All I need do is call out to Him when I get into trouble, and His power and care are there for me. Do I know that God watches over me?
Petitions to my Higher Power
God,
Help me this day to live my life to the fullest. Give me the inner peace that comes from knowing that You are always watching over me. Let me be filled with a grateful heart as I walk through this day. Let me seek You out whenever I am in need. Grant me courage in this new day.
Amen.

August 9

Wisdom for Today
When things got their worst, I really felt hopeless. I spent time in worry about my future. Was I going to end up locked up somewhere? Would I end up in some mental hospital? Would I end up dead? Worry was such terrible mental torment. What was going to happen to me if I couldn't find a way out of the madness of addiction? I knew there was nothing I could do to find a way out on my own. It was a scary but simple choice. I could end it all in suicide, or I could ask for help.
In desperation I reached out for help and found what I was looking for. In the program a new hope was born, and I actually began to believe that my life could turn out okay. The thing that still baffles me is the fact that I still find it difficult at times to ask for help. After years of evidence that asking for help works, I still find myself at times backing myself into a corner. Why is asking for help so hard? I think the answer to that question is different for each of us. Sometimes it is pride or arrogance. Sometimes it is simply foolishness or lack of commonsense. Sometimes it is fear of letting someone else know. Regardless of the reason, it is only when we come back to a place of surrender and honestly and humbly reach out that we find help. My goal is to remember this one day at a time. Do I still find it hard to ask for help?
Meditations for the Heart
One act in surrender is the act of obedience. When I walk though my day and ignore the directions that my Higher Power provides, I end up in trouble. When I follow the guidance I am given, I find that life goes much easier. In my addiction I always wanted to break the rules or at least bend them. I pretended that they did not apply to me. This is something I can't afford to do in recovery. It is too easy to get off the path of recovery if I do not obey the rules. Yes, I know that in the program you are told that there are no rules, only suggestions. But these suggestions are a matter of life and death. So whether you see them as rules or only suggestions, surrender involves the act of obedience. Sometimes I do not always like the suggestions I am given, yet in surrender I still need to be willing to follow the guidance I am given. Do I practice obedience, or do I want to still bend the rules?
Petitions to my Higher Power
God,
Help me stay open to all the suggestions I am given and recognize that Your direction comes to me though many different channels. Let me hear the words of Your guidance and be willing to obey and follow where You lead. Let me not forget that You care about me and will lead me to a good place.
Amen.

August 10

Wisdom for Today
I would like to say that it was commonsense that finally got me to stop drinking and using, but it was not. Instead, just like many others before me, it was one consequence after another that finally convinced me that I needed to stop. Even after all these consequences, I wanted to stop but did not know how. Commonsense told me that my way would not work. Commonsense took me down a path to the front doors of the program.
Today I know that God helped me find these doors. At the time I thought that I just stumbled on in. Here I listen to others tell of their experiences with booze and drugs. Here I heard others talk of the help they found in the steps. Here I learned that I could call on a Higher Power to help me accomplish something I could not do for myself. Here I learned I could live a sober, useful and happy life. Do I see the grace that has guided my steps to the program?
Meditations for the Heart
I remember early in recovery I planted an apple tree in my back yard. I watched this tree grow, but year after year it bore no fruit. Finally I went back to the nursery where I purchased the tree and asked for help. Here I was shown the proper way to prune the tree to allow for new growth. The next spring I was surprised to see many blossoms. That fall I was able to harvest the first apple from the tree. I also realized for the first time that I was just like this tree. I needed to be pruned back. I needed the deadwood to be stripped away in my life. Then quietly and secretly the sap began to flow in me allowing new growth. Today I am fortunate to see blossoms in my life. I see new fruit growing. Am I willing to prune back the deadwood in my life in order to see new growth?
Petitions to my Higher Power
God,
Your grace surrounds me. Help me to accept this precious gift. Let me find the courage to prune out the deadwood of my life, in order to see the new growth You have planned for me. Let me bring forth good fruit in all that I do today.
Amen.

August 11

Wisdom for Today
When I first walked through the doors of AA, I really could not imagine wanting anything more than I wanted alcohol and drugs. I felt completely empty on the inside, and I didn't know what I could fill this emptiness with. Even though I knew I had to stop, abstinence really didn't seem like a viable option. I recall thinking that maybe the program could teach me how to drink again and soon learned this was not the case.
I had to trust what I was being told. "Don't drink, and don't use, and your life will get better." It came down to simple faith – faith that somehow my life would get better, faith that the emptiness I carried around could be filled. I didn't start to even think about happiness for a while. I just wanted the pain to go away. I still wanted to escape. I didn't like the reality of my world. It was this faith that carried me for a while. I needed to find a new reality, and this is exactly what I found in the program. Am I finding a new reality?
Meditations for the Heart
I struggled a lot in the beginning. Staying sober did get easier, but I continued to struggle. I was not good at waiting, and yet this was exactly what I was being asked to do. There were no easy answers. There only were the Twelve Steps and the people I met at meetings. Waiting for the answers to my problems was not easy, but God did help me to find the answers I sought. This Higher Power not only helped me in those early days, but He continues to guide me to the answers I need today. I still have to wait for this guidance, but I have learned that God will only give me the answers when I am ready for them. Am I willing to wait for the answers I seek?
Petitions to my Higher Power
God,
I still have to look to simple faith to guide me through my days. I am grateful that this faith works for me as I walk though my days. Help me to be patient and to listen for the answers that are provided to me in all that I do. Give me a willingness to do the next right thing throughout my day.
Amen.

August 12

Wisdom for Today
When I look back at the life I had when I was drinking and using, it was not a pretty picture. There were the repeated failures, the letting people down, the lies, the time in jail and hospitals. None of these things made my addiction pretty. Sure there were the good times; but when I look back honestly, I wonder how I ever could have wanted this life. I know now that it was not the life I truly wanted. I just wanted a good time.
But I am different. I cannot process alcohol or drugs in my system the same way other people do. I know people that drink normally, and I did not drink like they do. In the program of AA I have learned that nothing I could do could change the way I respond to alcohol or drugs. Physically, psychologically and emotionally I respond differently and negatively to my drugs of choice. I am an addict, and I now have a choice to make. Will I choose recovery?
Meditations for the Heart
My spiritual life depends on two things. One is God Himself. I surely can have no spiritual life without a Higher Power. The second thing my spiritual life depends on is maintaining a conscious awareness of God, as I understand Him. All roads I travel must lead me back to this inner consciousness of God. Every decision I make needs to be with His help and guidance. Every breath I take should lead me to gratitude for the chance at recovery He has given me. It is here in this inner consciousness that I will find peace. It is here that I will find serenity. It is here I will find strength. Am I doing all that I can to maintain this inner consciousness?
Petitions to my Higher Power
God,
So I am made differently than others. I can accept this. Help me also to accept that this difference does not mean that I am inferior or damaged products. Let me find the peace and serenity that the program promises in a relationship with You. Keep me conscious of Your presence in my life.
Amen.

August 13

Wisdom for Today
I don't know exactly when I crossed the line, I just know I did. I think all addicts and addicts in recovery eventually recognize this fact. But even though I know I crossed this line it does not mean that I am cured. I still have messed up thinking some times. I still catch myself thinking that I should be able to drink if I want to. I still catch myself thinking about the "good old days."
Yet it is this very fact, that I catch myself, that enables me to stay sober. The program has given me back the power to choose. I can choose to stay in my messed up thinking or I can choose to tell on my disease and get back on track. This power to choose was not something I had when I was active in my disease process. The booze and the drugs made the choices for me. Today I can see my disease for what it really is - cunning, baffling and powerful. Do I see my disease for what it is?
Meditations for the Heart
I must take time to be with my Higher Power each and every day. It is in this quiet solitude that I find inner peace. It is in this relationship that I find strength and courage. It is in this relationship that I am given wisdom. I know that I need to be transformed mentally and spiritually. It is only in this relationship that this transformation can take place. So I need to seek out time with God. I find time to talk to Him and I find time to listen. Will I take time to foster this relationship each day?
Petitions to my Higher Power
God
Your wisdom is above my wisdom. Let me seek you out in all that I do today. Help me to stay on track and make good choices for my recovery today. Let me see my disease when it tries to sneak back into my thinking, my life and my heart. Gr4ant me courage as I need it.
Amen.

August 14

Wisdom for Today
Staying clean and sober is the most important decision I have ever made, my whole life depends on it. Without sobriety I have nothing. Every choice I make in recovery is important but none is more important than not taking that first pill or first hit or first drink. Everything I have depends on this. Without sobriety I am not able to do any of the other things that I want or that my higher power wants for me. Forgetting this even for a moment can be disastrous.
Meditations for the Heart
Recovery has many demands. Often times, when things seem to get difficult I need to go back to the simple discipline of “First things First.” God does not expect me to be able to handle more than one thing at a time. The discipline of “first things” demands that I do the next right thing. I need to stay focused on God’s will for me. Disciple is part of my training in recovery. Do I welcome this training? Do I recognize that God has a plan for me even when I do not always see it?
Petitions to my Higher Power
God,
This day let me be disciplined and focus on the next right thing. Help me to make wise decisions and to use the tools you have given me. Help me always to seek my direction through you.
Amen

August 15

Wisdom for Today
I remember as a child in elementary school running a rely race. I was running the final leg of the race and heading toward the finish line, when I dropped the baton with just a few steps to go. As a result my team did not win; we were disqualified.

Recovery is like this. We spend a lot of time in practice with our coaches (our sponsors and other recovering people) learning the rules and how to run a good race. We enter into a competition for our lives and we run the race. If we drop the baton we get disqualified. Am I willing to follow the guidelines of the program? Am I running a good race?
Meditations for the Heart
Practice, practice, practice; it seems that this is all I do. Sometimes I want to grumble when my coach says take another lap. Yet, I know that all the sweat will be worth it someday. The longer I stick around in the program, the more suggestions my sponsor gives me. Do I understand that he is simply trying to get me ready to compete? I have had to run many races in recovery, races against this disease. Each time I run a race, I am relieved to find that following the suggestions of my coaches pays off.
Petitions to my Higher Power
God,

This day I will practice the principles of the program so that I can run a good race. Help me to gain a full understanding of the rules of recovery so that I don’t get disqualified. Help me to trust and have faith that with your guidance, I can finish this race a winner.

Amen

August 16

Wisdom for Today
Be Careful. The temptation to drink or use again never leaves. The temptation will always be there, but know that when we face the urge to get high, many have gone before us. They have had to face these same urges and made it. The program does
not promise to eliminate our desire to use alcohol or drugs. Just that by using the tools we will have the courage to say no to our desires. Gratefully, old-timers say that it does get easier over time. Yet all of them can account for times when the desire to use
raises its ugly head again. Sometimes it is just a passing thought and at other times it may be more difficult. Do I trust that my Higher Power will give me the needed strength and wisdom to walk away from my unhealthy desires?
Meditations for the Heart
I know that my life in recovery is not trouble free and that I will have to face difficulties along the path of life. The program gives me the ability to face these difficulties with an inner peace. Serenity comes from following God’s will. This is a hard lesson to learn but over time it becomes apparent that by following the will of God I have no worries. The struggles I have last for only a moment when I continually turn them over to God. All I need to do is the next right thing. Do I trust God to give me what I need in the face of trouble?
Petitions to my Higher Power
God,

Should I face difficulties today, God help me to trust that you are with me. Help me to be wise in the decisions I face. Strengthen my faith and guide me to the people who will help me along the way.

Amen

August 17

Wisdom for Today
Sometimes it just seems easier to blame others or focus on them instead of myself. It is a natural defense to make others responsible for our plight in life. Yet as long as I focus on others and their responsibility for my problems I remain sick. I have to look at my part in whatever the situation or problem is. My sponsor once told me that, “The problem is not your disease, the problem is you.” He was right, the problem usually was me. Blaming others got me nowhere. It was only when I would take responsibility for my problems that I would make progress. Learning to change the things I can is a necessary lesson in recovery. Am I willing to take responsibility for my part, rather than blame others?
Meditations for the Heart
In silence I can learn the meaning of God’s will for my life. Learning to listen for that still, small voice that exists within can lead me to make wise decisions. But listening without action leads nowhere. Knowledge alone does not produce change. Change occurs when I am willing to put it into action. Simply knowing I am an addict or alcoholic does not mean anything. Simply knowing I have character defects does not lead to change. I must take what I learn and put it to use. Am I willing to use the knowledge I gain from others and from God to better myself? Do I really listen?
Petitions to my Higher Power
This day Oh God, help me to be quiet and listen to your guidance. Help me to listen to those who have more experience in recovery than I. Give me the courage to change the things I can.

Amen

August 18

Wisdom for Today
Very early in the program I started to receive gifts from others. Gifts of hope, a sense of relief, direction; I fit in. I began to hear slogans like, “It works if you work it.” It took me a while to begin to understand what that meant. I don’t know if it was because my brain was so cloudy from years of alcohol and drug abuse or it was because I simply wanted an easier, softer way; but it took some time before I became willing to use the tools I was being given. I could see that it worked for others who were willing, yet I resisted.

Finally, it began to sink in. Acceptance and surrender to a Power outside of myself is what I had to do. So I got to work and began to use the tools. Have I been using the tools the way I have been shown? Have I surrendered to a Higher Power?
Meditations for the Heart
The program provides us with seeds of hope, and truth, and faith. We are given the tools. Yet, we must use the tools to nurture the seeds and keep the weeds out of our garden. There are sunny days and other days that are filled with rain. Both are needed
to grow the seeds of sobriety. Am I using the tools or am I waiting for someone else to do the work for me?
Petitions to my Higher Power
God, I don’t know whether today will be filled with sunshine or rain, but I can trust that you will walk this path with me. Give me the wisdom and strength I need to use the tools so that I may reap a bountiful harvest.

Amen

August 19

Wisdom for Today
Desperate measures require desperate action – right? When I first walked through the doors of the program I was desperate. I was desperate to find a way out. I wasn’t really sure that my substance use was the cause of all my problems, I just knew I wanted to find a way out of all my pain. I was running around frantically looking for the answer. I wanted to find the magic. I could see in the eyes of the people at meetings that many of them had found what I was looking for. Why was it so difficult to find the answer? All I wanted was a way out!

Then one day an old-timer looked at me and said, “Quit running!” I didn’t understand what he had said. “Quit running, you will never find a way out like that.” He was right I had to quit running. It was only when I slowed down that I began to realize that no one had found a way out, but they had found peace in the middle of the storm. Have I quit running?
Meditation for the Heart
Sooner or later all addicts and alcoholics realize that the program is not a cure for their disease, but it can teach them a new way of living. Addiction continues to raise its ugly head from time to time even in recovery. It affects our thinking, our emotional response to situations, and our behavior. Our initial response may be to want run. In fellowship with others in the program and in turning our life over to “a Power Greater” than ourselves, we begin to realize that there is peace in the storm. Rather than desperately trying to find a way out, we begin to look for “His” guidance and peace in the middle of our pain and fear. Do I believe that I can find this peace if I stop running?
Petitions to my Higher Power
God

The program tells me to take it one step at a time. It does not tell me to run. Lord, help me this day to look for you in all that I do. Grant me the peace and serenity that is promised. Help me to know that nothing you ask is to hard.

Amen

August 20

Wisdom for Today
Wrestling, struggling, and fighting with the idea that I was an alcoholic or drug addict was my nature. Even when I first started attending meetings I was fully convinced that I was done fighting. At first I spent a lot of time trying to prove that I was different. I wanted to show myself and others that I was unique. But, slowly over time I began to see more and more evidence that I too had this disease. When I was finally convinced that I indeed was addicted to alcohol and drugs I began to look for the answers to recovery. I had a lot to learn and I had a lot to unlearn. I began to open my ears to the knowledge of others in the program. I picked up one resource after another. The more I read, the more I heard, the more I asked questions, the more I began to develop a sense of hope. I found myself fighting less often. I became more accepting of the “suggestions” given to me.

Today I still find that I can drift back into that state of terminal uniqueness. I still find there are times that I feel like my story is different. Fortunately, the fellowship of the program brings me back to reality. Am I still fighting?
Meditations for the Heart
There are things that are worth fighting for. Am I fighting for the right things? God has helped me recognize that I am worth fighting for. I did not always believe that. There was a time that I felt totally worthless. When I do have to go into “battle,” I need to remember to put my helmet on. I have to carry my shield. The wisdom of the Program is my helmet and openness, willingness, and truth is my shield. I have found these things do protect me from harm when I go into battle. I no longer have to run in fear and hide. Do I pick my battles wisely? When I do go into battle, do I strap my helmet on tight? Do I remember to carry my shield?
Petitions to my Higher Power
God,

Help me this day to be open to the wisdom of others. Help me to choose my battles wisely and help me to know that I do not need to go into any battle alone. God help me to trust that you are with me each step of the way.

Amen

August 21

Wisdom for Today
We all traveled different paths to arrive at the door of opportunity that recovery offers. The same is true regarding our concept of “God as we understand Him.” Many of us claimed to believe and have faith when we were active in our addiction, but our behavior did not match our words. We may have asked for God’s help but we did not accept it when His hand reached out to offer help.

As we enter the 12-step program, we all start in different places with regard to our spiritual faith. Yet, one thing is sure, we all need to grow in this area. Some of us can crawl, others walk, and still others may be able to spiritually run right from the start.
Do I realize that I need to grow spiritually if I am to succeed at abstinence?
Meditations for the Heart
Our journey toward spiritual health often begins in a place of weakness. Yet, it is in this place of weakness that we are most receptive to grow in faith. The program offers plenty of evidence that it works. We can see that many before us have used the
steps to grow and stay in recovery. Faith begins with a willingness to accept this reality and begin to trust that the steps indeed can lead me out of insanity. Opening ourselves to the concept of “God as we understand Him,” can indeed be where we find hope in the middle of hopelessness. Do I recognize that I can no longer be my own Higher Power? Am I willing to open myself to the spiritual principles of the program?
Petitions to my Higher Power
God,
It seems strange to call out to you this way. I always looked for a quick fix. Help me today to be open to the spiritual principles of the program. Increase my willingness to have faith.

Amen

August 22

Wisdom for Today
In his song, the singer Eli writes, “God weeps too.” Sometimes our experiences along the path of recovery bring us to a place where we find ourselves filled with grief and despair. Tears may well up inside of us or may flow freely. At times like this it is helpful to know that we are not alone. God may cry with us, or for us, or even because of us, but He is always there with us. Do I believe that I am not alone? Do I trust that God will give me strength at the times I need it most?

When I find myself filled with despair, loneliness, or grief I can be assured that someone in the Program will listen, comfort, and guide me to a place of acceptance. I believe that God puts these people in our lives because He cares for us. Do I believe that God cares for me?
Meditations for the Heart
Sometimes I want to cry because of the things I have done. At other times I want to cry because of what has been done to me. Regardless of the reason, I have learned that the sadness, loss, or self-disgust that I experience is only temporary. Each day that I use the steps and each day that I follow the principles of the Program brings healing. It is not a cure, but it is healing. Can I trust and believe that God wants to bring healing into my life?
Petitions to my Higher Power
God,

Walk with me this day and help me to know and trust that you will provide for me everything I need. I know I can never have everything I want in this life, but you continue to show me that I can have every thing I need. For this I am grateful today.

Amen

August 23

Wisdom for Today
Good and bad things happen in recovery. Life is like that. The trick is finding a way to be content, serene, at peace regardless of the cards you are dealt. It would seem easy to do this when things are going well, but it isn’t as easy as it looks. When every thing is great it becomes easy to become grandiose, cocky, or arrogant claiming credit for the good things that are happening.
On the other side of the coin, it is easy to get remorseful, resentful, or on the pity pot when everything is going badly.

Finding the inner calm and serenity requires that we acknowledge God’s handiwork in our lives. When things are good we need to thank God for the blessings and gifts we receive. And when things look the worst, we need to recognize that God’s hand is there to help us along the way. Do I give credit where credit is due?
Meditations for the Heart
The longer I stay clean and sober the more I recognize God’s presence in my life. I have become convinced that nothing I have achieved and nothing I have survived was done without His presence and help. At meetings I not only hear the “Promises” of the program read but I see them become reality in my life and in the lives of many others who walk the walk. Things that used to absolutely baffle me now seem simple because of the 12 steps. It is simple. No one said it would be easy. Have I come to believe that a Power greater than I is working for and with me in my recovery? Do I look for evidence that this is true in my life and in the lives of others?
Petitions to my Higher Power
God,

Today let me see the evidence that you are active in my life. Fill me with gratitude and help me remain focused. Walk with me step by step one moment to the next. Help me to encourage others who walk the same path. Let me accept encouragement from others.

Amen

August 24

Wisdom for the Day
When I walked into my first meeting I was carrying a heavy load. All the years of dishonesty, guilt, shame, and pain. I had been foolish enough to carry that load everywhere I went. It had gotten so heavy that I was slumped over from the burden. I could not look at myself in the mirror. As time passed I began to learn from others in the program that not only did I not need to carry the burdens from the past but I did not need to carry the fears associated with the future. All I needed to carry was the burdens of the day. Man is only strong enough to carry today, and he does not need to carry that weight alone. With the help of a Higher Power and other recovering addicts I have found that the burdens of life are much easier to carry. By working the steps and following the advice and wisdom of others on the path of life I can find it possible to stand up straight again.
Meditation for the Heart
Each day brings new possibilities and new challenges. Not every day is pain free. Yet the longer I stay clean and sober, the more I trust that God will only give me what I can carry. The load I carry today is much lighter than the one I used to carry. This is not to say that I don’t have problems. Recovery is all about exchanging my current problems for a better set of problems. Then I must take those problems and exchange them for a new set of problems. Recovery does not eliminate
problems, it just makes it much easier to deal with the ones I have today. Have I found it easier to carry the burdens I have this day? Am I still trying to carry the past and the future?

Staying in close contact with my Higher Power is one of the easiest ways to lighten my load. Turning over the burdens of the past and the fears of the future to God makes it possible to deal with the burdens of this day. Am I willing to let go of the past and not fear the future?
Petitions to my Higher Power
God,
As I begin this day, help me to be rid of the past and to trust that You will guide my footsteps into the future. Help me to focus on just this day and to accept the burdens I am given. Help me make the choices to keep my load light. Guide my footsteps into the future. Help me walk through this day with courage.

Amen

August 25

Wisdom for Today
When I was drinking and using I liked to buy people drinks and turn others on. It made me feel important and accepted. I was using them for my own gain. It helped me hide what I was really feeling. The thought of being helpful to others never occurred to me. At the time helping others seemed like a game, a way to make friends. I really didn’t want friends; I just wanted to hide
behind the mask of self-pleasure.

When I came into the Twelve Step program I found out that helping others was really a way of helping myself. I began to experience genuine happiness and felt needed. I found a new humility in recognizing that I was no different than the people I was helping. I needed there help too. Am I willing to help others?
Meditations for the Heart
In recovery, I have found it necessary to constantly restore my energy and my faith. I have found out that God as I understand Him is the storehouse of this energy. By following His will for me, I have found that not only is life easier, but I am restored. Today, I will work to recognize that I am on a journey and that God provides the direction. I have to walk the path of recovery and God points the way. Along the path He gives me opportunity to help others. Am I willing to follow God’s direction?
Petitions to my Higher Power
God,

Today let me walk with you. Show me the way and point the way so that I avoid the pitfalls that may exist along the way. When I am given the opportunity to help others, guide me in a way to truly be helpful. Keep me in your presence.

Amen

August 26

Wisdom for Today
The ship is sinking and we want to get out of this situation alive. Our only hope is to make it to the lifeboats. We hurry to get in and breathe a sigh of relief when we realize we are safe. But then reality sets in…

Twelve step groups are like our lifeboat. When we first get there we are still scared, but soon we breathe a sigh of relief. At least we are safe. At least we are alive. But then reality sets in. When it does we have some choices to make. We can grumble and complain that we don’t have enough room in the boat. We can insist on steering the boat. We can cry and feel like it is still hopeless. Or we can do our part to help out.

Helping others is a way to help ourselves and asking for help is a way of helping ourselves. Can I rejoice in the fact that I have made it into the boat? Do I do my part to help others or do service work in the group? Do I trust that as long as I stay with the boat that eventually I will make it to “dry” land?
Meditations for the Heart
Having a seat in the lifeboat of the Program is something we should try to be grateful for. Many addicts and alcoholics go down to the murky depths of despair or die in the raging sea of addiction as the ship sinks.

Often times we are tempted to ask, “Why Me?” Why did I even get on this ship? Why am I stuck out here? The “why me” question is a good question to ask. We need to ask, “Why me, why am I one of the few that got a seat in this lifeboat?” Am I truly grateful to be one of the “chosen ones” to get a seat?
Petitions to my Higher Power
God

Today I pray that I may walk in God’s grace. It is given freely each day. God, help me to know that it is enough for today. Help me to trust that if I stay in the boat, you will see me safely to dry land.

Amen

August 27

Wisdom for Today
When I was most action in my addiction to alcohol and drugs, I would joke around and tell others and myself that I liked being “abnormal.” Being normal was not something I desired. This was a part of my own denial and dishonesty with myself. As my disease progresses I became more and more abnormal. It became quite frightening.

When I started the recovery process, not drinking or using seemed abnormal to me. As time went by recovery began to seem more and more normal to me. I began to enjoy life, even when there were bumps in the road. I found a healthy humility that provided me with courage and wisdom I did not know I had. Do I believe that being “normal” is okay?
Meditations for the Heart
In recovery I have been given many gifts. I have also experienced some difficult situations. Over time I have learned that all things I experience in life are for me to draw in closer contact with my Higher Power. When I experience the good things in life and receive the “gifts” of recovery, I need to have gratitude for the Grace that my Higher Power has offered me. When I am walking through great struggles, and there are those, I need to know that my Higher Power is right there with me each step of the way. In these times He provides me with strength, courage, and wisdom. The very things I need most in my struggle. Do I live life as an example to others? Do I express gratitude for the help I receive?
Petitions to my Higher Power
God,

Sometimes I forget to be grateful for all that you have done in my life. I know that I would not even be in this world had you not protected me from myself. Let me be reminded of all that you do in my life today. Help me to trust that you will continue to help me when I need it.

Amen

August 28

Wisdom for Today
It is easy to get wrapped up in an attitude of self-depreciation. When we first enter recovery it is easy to see all the negative in our lives. As an addict or alcoholic it is easy to put ourselves down and beat ourselves up. The all or nothing attitude prevents us from seeing all the wonderful and good things that are also a part of who we are. If we see no good in ourselves, we cannot recognize the strengths that God has already given to us.

These gifts are a part of who we are. I can look back and see how hard I was on myself. I abused and battered myself with self-hatred. Then one day my sponsor asked me, “Does God make junk?” I had to realize that indeed, God had given me many gifts. I had to recognize that I had value. Do I value myself?
Meditations for the Heart
The more I looked at myself, the more I realized that I truly was a complex individual. There was the good, the bad, and the ugly aspects to who I was. I needed to gain balance in seeing myself. When all I did was focus on the negative aspects of my being I felt hopeless. I considered myself to be worthless. When I gain balance in my self-perception I began to see many strengths that I could build on. I also began to find the courage to change the things I could. Do I have balance in how I view myself?
Petitions to my Higher Power
God,

Today help me gain a healthier perspective of myself. Let me recognize all the good that is in me. Let me see the gifts you provide. Give me courage to change the things I need to change.

Amen

August 29

Wisdom for Today
Surrender is something I need to do each day as I start my day. I cannot afford to start my day saying to myself, "I'm in control." I have to remind myself each day that I am an alcoholic and an addict. I have to remind myself that this is a problem that I have turned over to God. I have to remind myself that I have surrendered to His will. It is important for me to do this because it reminds me that I have given my addiction problem over to God's hands, because it certainly does not belong in my hands.
I have to remind myself that it is in this act of surrender that I have given up the option to return to drinking and drugging. The act of surrender frees me so that I do not have to worry about relapse anymore. As long as I follow the will of my Higher Power, I can be confident that I will not return to my old ways. As I have walked down the path of recovery, I have found that there are many other problems that I have needed to turn over to God. Each time I do this, I find that I am led to a new place in my recovery process. Often times I am surprised by the outcomes. I am led to my Higher Power. Do I take the time to surrender anew each day?
Meditations for the Heart
I will try to grow a little each day; for if I am growing in my recovery, I am not wilting. In order to keep growing, I have to work the soil. I must keep the weeds of resentment, fear and arrogance out of my garden. I must water the seeds of hope and honesty. I must seek out the light of openness and willingness. It is only when I work the steps and fertilize my recovery with meetings that I can be assured that my garden will grow. I continue to be amazed by the growth I have seen in myself and in others in the program. Each time I go to a meeting, I try to remind myself that the room is filled with miracles. What astounds me the most is that I can see that I am one of those walking miracles. Today I will look for the miracles that God creates in my life.
Petitions to my Higher Power
God,
Again this day I fully surrender my will and my life to You. Help me to be confident in the care that You provide. Help not only me this day but all of the addicts and alcoholics who seek You out. Give me the tools I need to work in the garden today.
Amen.

August 30

Wisdom for Today
When I first walked through the doors of the program, I thought that drinking and drugging were my only problem. I assumed that if I stopped using that my family, work, legal, and financial problems would magically disappear. I was wrong. I had lots of work to do. I wanted to hurry up and fix all my problems. Soon I found out that I needed to slow down. I needed to trust the process. I was told that I really only had two problems – staying clean and sober, and all the rest. If I didn’t stay clean, I had no chance of fixing any of the other problems I had.

With sobriety, I soon found that my other problems were disappearing. Later, I found out that in addition to my practical problems that I also had problems with my character. These defects of character continued to be problematic until I was ready to let go. I had to learn to trust that God would finish the work He started. Am I willing to trust God and His process?
Meditations for the Heart
Patience was something I was not good at. I had this attitude – I want what I want and I want it right now. Recovery has a way of teaching patience. I soon found out that all my troubles would not be fixed in one day. It would take some time to correct the problems I was experiencing. My character would not magically change. I had to be willing to work at it. I had to practice patience. Am I willing to practice the principles of the program? Am I willing to follow the directions I am given?
Petitions to my Higher Power
God,

Today teach me to be patient and help me to trust Your process. Help me to realize that You are still at work and that You are not finished with me yet.

Amen

August 31

Wisdom for Today
The twelve-step program is a whole lot more than simply learning not to drink or use drugs. It is a way of living life. If all that was involved were abstinence, it would only require one step – stop using. Before coming into the program, many of us tried that program. Most of us quit drinking and using drugs many times only to return to our old ways once again. The program is more like walking up a down escalator. We have to keep moving at a pace faster than our disease if we are ever going to reach the top. Going to meetings, talking with sponsors, working the steps, and faith all help us to make it to the top – a stable, secure recovery. Am I working a program that will get me to the top?
Meditations for the Heart
Obedience is a concept that many of us struggle with. We want to make the rules or break the rules. The program has no rules, only suggestions. However, in my recovery I have learned that being obedient to the will of my “Higher Power” is the easier way. While it is true that I can freely chose to do what I want, when I do what God wants I find that life is actually easier. I am
not always trying to cover up, hide, or lie about what I have done. When I walk along the path that God leads me I am safe, I am secure. Am I willing to be obedient?
Petitions to my Higher Power
God,

Today let me walk along the path that you lead me on. Should I stray away, call me back. Grant me the courage I need to be obedient and follow your will for me.

Amen