• Your group can be of any size or composition. An even number of participants, perhaps from 2 to 16, allows members of the group to work in pairs as “buddies.” A group may be simply one sponsor and one sponsee.
• Agree on a purpose, plan and session format of the Steps by the Big Book group, and that in general the group will stick to the schedule.
• Agree that each member attends every session if possible, commits to read the text and respond to the session questions, and in fact DOES each Step as it is encountered. (Fifth Steps are not shared at the sessions.)
• Agree that each member of the group contacts one or more members (buddies) and/or a sponsor regularly between sessions.
• Agree that group members can expect to spend at least as much time on reading, writing and contact with buddies between sessions as in group time.
• Agree on a date by which participants may leave or new members may join the group after it begins.
• Agree that group members will not drink or use during the course.

• Will start and end times for the sessions be honored?
• Will one group member chair the entire process, or will group members take turns chairing the sessions?
• Will absolute confidentiality about the group be practiced?
• Will readings be read at the sessions, or should the readings be completed in advance?
• Is each group member expected to speak and share personal writings at group sessions? (It is suggested that members do their Fifth Step outside of the sessions with a sponsor or buddy.)

• Will group members consider not speaking a second time until all have had a chance to share first?
• Will someone serve as a friendly timekeeper?

Guide to This Guide
Our reference for this study of the 12 Steps is the first 103 pages of Alcoholics Anonymous, fourth edition, the basic text (xi: 2) for the program and fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous. The notations are to page and paragraph, as in (64: 0, 1), i.e. (64) page 64; (: 0) the partial paragraph at the top of the page; (1) the first full paragraph on that page; etc. Quotes from the Big Book are in italics.


Please ignore anything in the group sessions or this handbook that you feel contradicts what you find in the Big Book.


As a study group we will cover:
Preface and Forewords
“Doctor’s Opinion” Step 1.
Chapter 1. Bill's Story Step 1
Chapter 2. There Is a Solution Steps 1 and 2
Chapter 3. More About Alcoholism Steps 1 and 2
Chapter 4. We Agnostics Step 2
Chapter 5. How It Works Steps 3 and 4
Chapter 6. Into Action Steps 5 through 11
Chapter 7. Working With Others Step 12




In the Steps by the Big Book sessions, we read paragraph by paragraph. We pause at commas and stop at periods. We turn the declarative statements of the Big Book into questions to ourselves. We constantly ask: “What does this mean for me in my life?” These inquiries become prompts to questions we may explore with others.
In essence, this manual is a cut and paste scrapbook of pithy suggestions – concise and helpful insights that can have an immediate effect on how we study and work the Steps. The session material is drawn from the Big Book, and AA literature, such as Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions (12&12), with focus questions and comments borrowed verbatim without attribution from meetings, others in recovery, and from several published and recorded recovery sources. Any errors that appear in this guide belong to those of us who compiled it.
This workbook is divided into three parts: Part I covers Steps 1, 2 and 3; Part II examines Step 4; Part III looks into Steps 5 through 12. Each part begins with notes on aspects of the Steps in question. Outlined points of reflection follow. Optional material and sample definitions are in brackets […]. Finally, there are worksheets that are intended to help you focus your writing on each Step. On the following pages you will find the basic workbook session outline and an optional group session format.

Steps by the Big Book typical session outline


I ON YOUR OWN: STUDY – What did the Big Book authors say?

• READ - Individually, and with your sponsor or other group members, study the suggested readings for the Step you are working on.

• WRITE - We suggest one or two 15-20 minute writing sessions per day.
  • • Write of your own experience working the Step under consideration. Respond to the issues the readings raise for you.
    • Reflect on the focus points in each session and think about writing on three or four, or all of them, as you see fit.
    • Cross off the bulleted focus and reflection comments as you come to them. Try reading them out loud to help make them stick.
    • Consider completing the worksheets intended to build on what the Big Book says about the practice of each Step.

• TALK - Meet with one or more other members of the group or with your sponsor or both to discuss the readings and your written reflections on them.

• PRACTICE DAILY MEDITATION / PRAYER - Strive to develop a daily practice of quiet centering before reading and writing. Use whatever meditations or prayers are meaningful to you. [See p.13: 4 and Step 11, pp. 85-88]

II WITH THE GROUP: PRACTICE – What does the Big Book say to me about my own practice of this Step?

• Reflect together in depth about your own life practices of really doing the Step in question as illuminated by the Big Book.
• Share what you have written.

III DAILY PRACTICE OF 12 STEP PRINCIPLES


Consider your personal daily practice of the principles of the relevant Step.


IV TAKE THE STEP


Since the way people take the Steps in AA is highly personal, we leave it to individual members to decide when they have taken each Step. The Big Book has us consider, Is our [Step] work solid so far? Can we answerto our satisfaction? (75: 03-76: 1)
For group purposes, some observe completing each Step by joining hands and reciting the Step, along with selected meditations or prayers.

Example of Steps by the Big Book Group Session Format

(This optional schedule is for a 1½ hour session once a week, or as the group sees fit. You may adjust the length of the session to 2 or more hours, add breaks, etc.)

• Open on time with from 1 to 5 minutes or more of centering silence, with focus meditation or prayer such as the Third Step prayer.

• First 2 min. Review agenda for this session.

• Approximate group study and practice times:

• 1. • 10 min.: 30 second check-ins around the group.
     • 15 min.: Review selections from the reading.
     • 15 min.: Chairperson or a designated group member each session may share their experience with this reading and this Step according to the Big Book.
     • 40 min. Discussion. (40 min. per 1½ hour session. 70 min. per 2 hour session, etc.): Group may share writings and talk about questions and worksheets on actually working this Step by the Big Book.

• Last 3 min. Review next session's agenda.
  1. • Encourage reading and writing between sessions.
     • Urge meeting with one’s buddy and/or sponsor.

• Close on time with meditation or prayer such as the Seventh Step prayer.

………………………………………………………………………………………..


Groups often hold one session each week through five or six months.


Optional schedule for two sessions +/- done at each weekly gathering over three months:

• Week 1: Introduction & Step 1 (Sessions 1 & 2)
• Week 2: Step 1 (Sessions 3, 4 & 5)
• Week 3: Step 2 (Session 6)
• Week 4: Step 3 (Session 7)
• Week 5: Step 4 Resentments (Sessions 8 & 9)
• Week 6: Step 4 Fears & Relationships/Sex (Sessions 10 & 11)
• Week 7: Step 4 Review & Step 5 (Sessions 12 & 13)
• Week 8: Step 6 & Step 7 (Sessions 14 & 15)
• Week 9: Step 8 & Step 9 (Sessions 16 & 17)
• Week 10: Step 10 & Step 11 (Sessions 18 & 19)
• Week 11: Step 12 (Session 20)

PART I

SESSION 1 THROUGH SESSION 7

STEPS 1 – 2 – 3

FOCUS MEDITATIONS / PRAYERS

3RD STEP MEDITATION / PRAYER
God[of our understanding], I offer myself to Thee – to build with me and to do with me as Thou wilt. Relieve me of the bondage of self, that I may better do Thy will. Take away my difficulties, that victory over them may bear witness to those I would help of Thy Power, Thy Love, and Thy Way of life. May I do Thy will always. (63: 2)






7TH STEP MEDITATION / PRAYER
My Creator, I am now willing that you should have all of me, good and bad.
I pray that you now remove from me every single defect of character which stands in the way of my usefulness to you and my fellows. Grant me strength, as I go out from here, to do your bidding. (76: 2)






11TH STEP MEDITATION / PRAYER
We ask God [of our understanding] to direct our thinking, especially asking that it be divorced from self-pity, dishonest or self seeking motives. (86: 2)
Thy will be done. (88: 0)






SERENITY PRAYER
God grant us the serenity to accept the things we cannot change,
Courage to change the things we can,
And wisdom to know the difference. (12&12, p. 125: 2)

ONE GROUP MEMBER’S DAILY DISCIPLINES:

• Upon awakening, I read Daily Reflections (for example) and mediate / pray on practices to stay sober.
• Call my sponsor, contact another member of fellowship.
• Read from the Big Book.
• Concentrate on one of the Steps.
• Attend a meeting.
• Complete a daily inventory. (Step 1; Step 4; Step 10)
• Meditation and prayer.

ONE GROUP MEMBER’S FOCUS–CENTERING PRACTICE


1. I sit comfortably with my eyes closed.


2. Pay attention to my breathing, and repeat a word or phrase or prayer silently to myself as I exhale.


3. When I notice my mind wandering (It will!) just notice it and passively bring my attention back to my breathing.




Practice for approximately 20 minutes every day (or at least 3-4 times per week).

NOTES ON STEPS 1 – 2 – 3

It meant destruction of self-centeredness. (14: 1)

STEP 1

No words can tell of the loneliness and despair I found in that bitter morass of self-pity. … I had met my match. I had been overwhelmed. Alcohol was my master. (Bill’s Story, 8: 1)


Like Bill, we are alcoholics, and we have hit bottom. The problem is our mental obsession that leads us to take a drink, and our resulting physical compulsion to drink to excess. Our lives are unmanageable; we must surrender. Working Step 1 begins when we become abstinent. We have to stop our particular addictive alcoholic behaviors so that our continued acting out does not hinder our surrender. Our experience is that we do not become whole without a solution beyond ourselves.
This is a disease of isolation and loneliness. We are prisoners of our self-sufficiency, isolated inside. We admit we need to grow and that we are not free. We are people who appear to be sure of themselves but are actually eaten alive with fear inside. (193: 2) If anxiety is the existential basis of our addiction, then we must alter our fear, remorse, shame and guilt in order to find happiness so that we do not have to go back to drinking. [Shame: feeling disgrace for who we are in our essence.] [Guilt: feeling disgrace for how we have behaved.] As recovering alcoholics, we have to do something about being restless, irritableanddiscontented (xxviii: 4) or we will drink again.
The point is to experience a personality change sufficient to bring about recovery. (567: 1) Human nature, the ‘self’ and ‘instincts’ are not the problem. The problem is how we habitually react to people, places, and things in our instinctual and self-absorbed ways, such that we risk drinking or having an emotional dry bender. How may we come to have a profound alteration in [our] reaction to life? (567: 4) How may we be free?
Recovery is an individual alcoholic’s experience of the transformative power that comes from actually working the Steps, the program of action of the fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous. Out of our discontent with the way we are, we study and practice the 12 Steps as a daily discipline in order to achieve and maintain spiritual balance.
Rather than argue with the various hypotheses of AA, we experiment by doing the Steps as written and see what the results are. A sponsor is our essential guide through the 12 Steps. It is not about us or our opinions; it is about our action of working and living the Steps on a daily basis. The spiritual power, which comes from the practice of the 12 Steps within the AA fellowship, can move us to be sober and live with serenity and peace of mind.


http://www.stepsbybigbook.net/

STEP 2

Why don’t you choose your own conception of God? … It was only a matter of being willing to believe in a Power greater than myself. Nothing more was required of me to make my beginning. (Bill’s Story, 12: 2, 12: 4)


If our problem is that we have a body which will die if we drink, and we have a mind which compels us to take that drink, then we are powerless indeed. We are without power. Yet the fact that we and others like us are not drinking or using, one day at a time, is proof of the action in our own lives of a solution – a power greater than any one of us. Step 2 reminds us we are crazy to think that we need to be in control or that we can do it alone. We no longer need to live solo with the pain and insanity that have been our nature. Insanity is when we lack perspective and things are out of proportion, and when we repeat the same mistakes over and over expecting different results. In AA we find hope that we can be restored to sanity, we can become whole. The hope of Step 2 follows the desperation of Step 1 as the dawn follows the dark.
AA is a spiritual, not a religious, program. Spirituality is what happens to us when we work the Steps within the AA fellowship community. Step 2 does not say: We came to believe IN a power that WOULD restore us. Step 2 describes the solution as we came to believe THAT a power greater than ourselves COULD restore us to sanity. (59: 2) The emphasis is not on who or what this power is, but on what this power can do for us. We begin to turn inward to find a higher power that works and feels safe. A group itself qualifies as a power greater than us, so do the spiritual principles contained in the practice of the 12 Steps. So does the understanding any one of us has of a higher power.

SESSION 1

Preface and Forewords

A wonderfully effective spiritual structure can be built. (47: 2)

ION YOUR OWN: STUDY – What did the Big Book authors say?

• READ Read the Table of Contents, Preface, and the Forewords to the First, Second, Third, and Fourth Editions of the Big Book. Many will read the Foreword to Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions (12&12) as well.

• WRITE Consider the focus questions relating to the readings, and write reflective answers to them, as you see fit. Cross off the bulleted comments as you take them in. Include your own questions and observations, and explore your doubts as well as your certainties in detail and in depth.

• TALK Talk with your sponsor and/or buddy about the process you are about to undertake.

II WITH THE GROUP: PRACTICE – What does the Big Book say to me
about my practice of the 12 Steps.

• Discuss the purpose, plan and session format of this Steps by the Big Book group course. Consider that each member is expected to not only talk about but to do each of the Steps and, if possible, to attend every session with the team.
• This is a commitment, a team effort. Together we can do it!
• Discuss how the Big Book readings influence your own recovery process.

Points of Focus and Reflection
1.) Contents -A repeating mighty purpose and rhythm (10: 3) of the Steps and of the Big Book can be seen even on the Contents page (Consider page v).

• ‘The Problem’ is set out in Doctor’s Opinion and Chapter 1. [See 17: 1; 19: 3]
• ‘The Solution’ is introduced in Chapters 2, 3 and 4. [See also 17: 3; 25: 1]
• ‘The Program of Action’ is described in Chapters 5, 6 and 7. [See also 9:6; 42: 2]

2.) 1955 Foreword to Second Edition (Consider pp. xv: 3-xvii: 2; xix: 1; xxi: 0)

• What do the Big Book authors mean when they say that, This is but a beginning, only the augury of a much larger future ahead? (xv: 2)
• How am I part of that future? What do I know about the story of AA?
• What were the tenets of the Oxford Groups? (xvi: 0) [See also 263: 0]
• What is the message of AA? (xvii: 3; xviii: 0; xxi: 0) [See also xvi: 2; 17: 3; 45: 2; 60: 0; 77: 0; 89 :1]
• What are the principles by which the individual alcoholic could live? (xix: 1)
• What are the principles by which AA groups and AA as a whole could survive and function? (xix: 1)
• What is the alternative to the high road? (xxi: 0)

SESSION 2

STEP 1 The Doctor’s Opinion

Step 1: We admitted we were powerless over alcohol – that our lives had become unmanageable.
…Physical craving for liquor. (xxvii: 1 - xxviii: 0)
They cannot…differentiate the true from the false. (xxviii: 4)


ION YOUR OWN:STUDY – What did the Big Book authors say?

• READ Read The Doctor’s Opinion.Many will read Step 1 in the 12&12.

• WRITE As part of your Step 1 written inventory begin to write about:

• 1. • Your own definition of each word in this Step, and every Step. Then look up each word individually in the dictionary.
     • Write what each part means to you: We admit that we are powerless over our alcoholism-addiction and that our lives have been and are unmanageable.
     • “How am I powerless over alcohol? Even if I have been sober for a significant length of time, how am I powerless?”
     • “How is my life unmanageable today?”

• TALK Talk with your sponsor and other members of the group about the readings and your reflections on them.

• PRACTICE DAILY MEDITATION / PRAYER The Big Book and 12&12 offer many suggestions for meditation and prayer. You may follow these suggestions, or choose a practice that is in line with your own belief system. The goal is to set aside some quiet reflection time, perhaps 15-20 minutes twice a day.

II WITH THE GROUP: PRACTICE – What does the Big Book say to me about my practice of Step 1?
As you go about your daily activities, think about the people, places, and things that are unmanageable, or over which you are powerless. Complete this sentence as often as necessary for any one day: “I cannot control / have no power over___________.”
Also list what you can control and what you do have power over. Share your lists with the group. Avoid 'yes' and 'no' rote answers. Instead, respond fully in detail and in depth.


Points of Focus and Reflection (Consider pp. xxvi: 3-xxix: 3) Try them out loud.
The Problem as understood by Dr. Silkworth in the Doctor’s Opinion.
1.) The mental obsession (xxviii: 4)
2.) The physical compulsion [physical craving or allergy (xxx: 5)]
3.) The using to excess [abuse: spree (xxix: 0)], and the need to control our
drinking.
4.) The need for a psychic change.


http://www.stepsbybigbook.net/

• How am I affected by Dr. Silkworth’s definition of alcoholism as a medical problem? [Disease: (L- To lack ease.) Involuntary disability. See 64: 3]
• Did I drink essentially because [I] like the effect produced by alcohol? (xxviii: 4)
• Have I been restless, irritable, and discontented (xxviii: 4)
• Have I sought the sense of ease and comfort which comes at once by taking a few drinks? (xxix: 0)
• Describe in detail how I succumbed to the desire again? (xxix: 0)
• In what ways did I reach the point where I could not differentiate the true from the false? (xxviii: 4)
• When did I first experience an abnormal mental obsession with alcohol? Describe.

• How did I develop the physical…phenomenon of craving [allergy]? (xxvii: 7 -xxviii: 0,1; xxix: 0; xxix: 4; xxx: 1, 5)

• How do I describe my pathological physical reaction to alcohol?
• In what ways has my alcoholic body become as sick as my alcoholic mind? (xxvi: 3)
• What is my understanding of the concept of alcoholism as the manifestation of an allergy? (xxviii: 1) [Allergy: An abnormal reaction.]
• How do I feel about the idea of hospitalization? (xxviii: 0)
• When did I first experience a physical compulsion or craving for alcohol? Describe.

• In what ways did I pass through the well-known stages of a spree, emerging remorseful, with a firm resolution not to drink again? (xxix: 0)
• In what ways did I repeat this over and over? (xxix: 0)
• What are my reflections on the ideas that alcoholism has never been…permanently eradicated; and that the only relief…is entire abstinence? (xxx: 5)
• When did I first experience the loss of control of my drinking? Describe.

• What is my understanding of a psychic change? (xxix: 1, 3)
• What is meant by being required to follow a few simple rules? (xxix: 1)
• Am I aware that, if I have been abstinent from alcohol a while, Step 1 is about my powerlessness over some other behavior that reflects the unmanageability of my life?
• Am I aware that I need to find a way to stop that behavior so that my surrender is not blocked by continued acting out?
• What is of significance to me in this chapter? What do I not agree with?

SESSION 3

STEP 1 Bill’s Story

Step 1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol – that our lives had become unmanageable.
Upon a foundation of complete willingness…. (12: 4)

Step 1 written inventory

I ON YOUR OWN: STUDY – What did the the Big Book authors say?

• READ Chapter 1 Bill’s Story, pp.1 – 16. Read in the Big Book how in 1934 one of AA's founders, Bill W., learned of the problem, the solution, and the program of action to recover from alcoholism.

1.) The Problem: From Dr. Silkworth, Bill learned of the medical problem of alcoholism as both a mental and a physical illness. (7:1; xxv-xxxii)
2.) The Solution: From Dr. Carl Jung, (through Roland H. and Ebby T.) Bill learned of the spiritual solution to the problem as a necessary vital spiritual experience. (27: 5; see also 9: 6; 567-8)
3.) The Program of Action: From the Oxford Group (through Ebby T.), Bill learned of the discipline of practicing a step by step program of action that opens one to the necessary vital spiritual experiences. (27: 4) [See also He Sold Himself Short, 263: 0]

• WRITE Write down how the matters set forth in Bill’s Story reflect your own life.

• • • Cross off the bulleted focus and reflection comments as you consider them.
    • Continue writing your Step1 inventory about your powerlessness over alcohol and how your life is unmanageable.

• TALK Speak with your sponsor and other group members about the study group and the Step 1 readings.

• PRACTICE DAILY MEDITATION / PRAYER

II WITH THE GROUP: PRACTICE – What does the Big Book say to me about my practice of Step 1?

• Review selections from Bill's Story together.
• Consider sharing your own writings and personal Step 1 stories with the group.
• Rather than 'yes' and 'no' responses, consider answering in detail and with examples.

p. 18
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• What did Bill mean by, I commenced to forge the weapon…that one day would turn…like a boomerang and…cut me to ribbons? (2: 2)
• Was there a time for me when liquor ceased to be a luxury; it became a necessity? (5: 1)
• Did I think I could control the situation? (5: 1)
• Did I ever wonder, Was I crazy? (5: 5)
• How does an appalling lack of perspective relate to sanity, honesty, or humility? (5: 5) What do sanity, honesty, and humility mean to me?
• In what specific ways did I feel the remorse, horror and hopelessness of the next morning? (6: 1)
• Did I ask, Should I kill myself? (6: 1)
• In what ways did I seek oblivion? (6: 1)
• In what ways have I felt fear? (6: 2, 7: 0)
• What are my reflections on Dr. Silkworth's proposition that we have been seriously ill, bodily and mentally? (7: 1)
• Did I see that I could not take so much as one drink? (5: 4)
• Did such self-knowledge (7: 2) of the problem of the insanity of that first drink (8: 2) alone keep me sober?
• Bill describes taking Step 1 by admitting, Alcohol was my master. (8: 1)
• In what ways has alcohol been my master? (8: 1)

• What is my understanding of the simple religious idea? (9: 6)
• What was my reaction to religion, the church, and God? (10: 1)
• How do I react to the suggestion, Why don’t you choose your own conception of God? (12: 2; 46: 2)
• Bill takes Step 2 when he understands that, nothing more was required...to make my beginning than being willingto believe. (12: 4)
• Note that Bill was instructed to sit quietly and totest [his] thinking by the new God-consciousness within. (13: 4)

• What is my understanding of the practical program of action? (9: 6)
• How did this derive from the non-alcoholic Oxford Groups of that day? ( xvi: 0; and see 263: 0)
• What are the essential requirements, as I understand them? (13: 5 - 14: 0)
• How do I understand, It meant destruction of self-centeredness? (14: 1)
• What were the revolutionary and drastic proposals? (14: 2)
• Note that Bill essentially takes Step 3 through Step 12 at this time while still in the hospital. [Step 1 (8: 1); Step 2 (12: 4); Steps 3-11 (13: 2-4); Step 12 (1st part 13: 5; 2nd part 14: 5, 6)]

STEP 1 WRITTEN INVENTORY

Step 1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol – that our lives had become unmanageable.


Consider these questions, which are borrowed from meetings and recovery literature. Add your own as you see fit. Copy and expand this template in your own notebook.
Consider responding in detail with specific examples, rather than rote yes's or no's.


I POWERLESSNESS Physical compulsion :
What were all of the types and amounts of alcohol and drugs I used, from my first time to the present? What did it cost me or others (purchases, income, fines)? Emotional cost?
-
-


When have I experienced the abnormal physical reaction to alcohol? [‘One drink leads to another.’ Suggestion: Describe the last drink or a similar episode in detail.]
-
-


When did I recognize that I lost control of my drinking? [I drink to excess. I cannot stop when I want to. Heard in a meeting: “When I drink I break out in a binge.”]
-
-


In what ways have I attempted, and have failed, to control my drinking? Did I use alcohol, or did alcohol use me?
-
-


What were the things I did while acting out on my disease that I would never do when focusing on recovery? (ie: destructive behavior, loss of memory and blackouts, being abusive physically or verbally, insane and suicidal behaviors, etc.)
-
-


What would my life be like if I admitted being powerless over alcohol and other dysfunctional behaviors?
-
-


What other aspects of my life am I powerless over?
-
-


In what ways has my disease been active recently? How do I behave compulsively?


p. 20
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SESSION 4

STEP 1 & 2 There is a Solution

Step 1 We admitted we were powerless over alcohol, that our lives had become unmanageable.
Step 2 Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
Fellowship… …the powerful cement which binds us. (17: 2)




ION YOUR OWN: STUDY – What did the Big Book authors say?

• READ Read Chapter 2, There is a Solution and Appendix II, Spiritual Experience in the Big Book.

• WRITE Continue to write about how you are powerless over alcohol, and why your life is unmanageable (then and now). Respond to at least three or four of the optional focus questions, and to ones of your own.

• TALK Talk with your sponsor and other group members about powerlessness.

• PRACTICE DAILY MEDITATION / PRAYER

II WITH THE GROUP: PRACTICE – What does the Big Book say to me about my practice of Step 1 and Step 2?

• Letting go of the illusion that we can control our addictive behavior on our own is the first step on the way to recovery.
• Only when we realize we cannot control our using do we find a way to change, a way out.
• Consider sharing your written reflections on Steps 1 & 2 with the other members of the group. Pick a topic that interests all or several members of the group and engage in a round robin discussion.

Points of Focus and Reflection (Consider 17: 2-18: 4; 20: 1-23: 1; 25: 1-3; 27: 2-28: 3)
1.) The Power of the Fellowship

• How do I understand the fellowship as the powerful cement which binds us? (17: 2)
• How have I experienced the common solution, the way out? (17: 3)
• Did my alcoholic illness engulf all whose lives touch the sufferer's? (18: 1)
• How is it that I can win the entire confidence of another alcoholic? (18: 4)

2.) The Real Alcoholic

• In what ways do I have a hopeless condition of mind and body? (20: 1)
• What is my reaction to the idea that a real alcoholic is one who loses all control of his liquor consumption once he begins to drink? (21: 1)
• Am I a real alcoholic? (21: 1) If not, why not?
• Did I have control over alcohol?
• What absurd, incredible and tragic things did I do while drinking? (21: 2)
• In what respects have I been dishonest and selfish? (21: 2)
• Have I been a real Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde? (21: 2) Describe.
• When have I searched madly for the bottle? (22: 0)
• Have I used a combination of …sedative and liquor…? (22: 0)
• Can I answer the riddle of why I took that one drink, that first drink, over and over? (22: 3; 22: 2; 23: 1)
• How do I respond to the premise that the main problem of the alcoholic centers in his mind, rather than his body? (23: 1)
• In what ways do I share the malady of the lie, the mental obsession that somehow, someday [I can] beat the game and take one drink? (23: 2; 22: 2) [See also 326: 2)
• In what specific ways have I lost the power of choice in drink? (24: 1)

3.) The Spiritual Experience

• In what ways is my being sober today evidence of having tapped an unsuspected inner resource which I may identify with [my own] conception of a Power greaterthan [myself]? (567: 4-568: 0)
• In what ways had I come to believe in the hopelessness and futility of life as I had been living it? (25: 1) Describe in detail.
• Have I felt I had but two alternatives:?

• 1. • One was to go on to the bitter end, blotting out the consciousness of our intolerable situation…
     • …and the other, to accept spiritual help? (25: 3 )
• How does one go about accepting spiritual help? Might one’s spiritual life then include our constant thought of others and how we may help meet their needs? (20: 0) Can I accept that the concept of “others” includes me?
• Am I ready for the self-searching, the leveling of [my] pride and the confession of shortcomings that the process requires? (25: 1) (See also 42:1, 2; 64: 1; 122: 1)
• What was the certain simple attitude (27:0) that allowed the utterly hopeless…drunk (26: 1, 3) to become a free man? ((26: 4; 28: 1) [See 28: 3 willing and honest enough to try.]
• How do Dr. Carl Jung's reflections on vital spiritual experiences as the solution to our problem apply to my recovery? (27: 4, 5)
• How might William James’ Varieties of Religious Experience be of use to me? (28: 3)
• Have I experienced the presence of a higher power? Be specific.

pp. 22-23
http://www.stepsbybigbook.net/

• READ Read of relapse in Chapter 3, More About Alcoholism.

• WRITE Write the story of your last drink in detail or tell aspects of your story through several drinking episodes. .

• 1. • You may focus on these or other points in your written reflections:

• TALK Talk with your sponsor or with other members of your group.

• PRACTICE DAILY MEDITATION / PRAYER

• Do I have a reservation of any kind, [or] any lurking notions that someday [I] will be immune to alcohol? (33: 1)
• Was I astonished at [my] inability to stop? (33: 3)
• Had I lost the power to choose?(34: 2)
• Like the man of thirty, did I have an utter inability to leave it alone? (34: 2)

• What mental states are the crux of the [drinking] problem? (35: 0)
• Can I identify with Jim who found himself drunk even after accepting what others knew of alcoholism [Step 1], and the answer [they] had found [Step 2]?
• Have I been crazy and insane?(see 5: 5; 37: 1; 38: 1, 2)
• Was I able to stop drinking on the basis of self-knowledge? (39: 1)

• Are my thought-habits and behaviors absurd and incomprehensible? (37: 4)
• How have I been strangely insane? (38: 2)

• Can I identify with Fred, who would not believe himself an alcoholic [Step 1], much less accept a spiritual remedy for his problem [Step 2]? (39: 2)
• Was I told that if I had an alcoholic mind, the time and place would come – I would drink again? (41: 2-42: 0)
• What are the spiritual answer and the program of action? (42: 2)

• What are my thoughts about the idea that the alcoholic at certain times has no effective mental defense against the first drink? (43: 3)

• Do I know that admitting powerlessness does not mean admitting worthlessness?
• How may I accept my new freedom in no longer having to lie about my drinking?
• How may I stay in touch with the reality of my disease, no matter how long I have been free from drinking?
• In what ways today have I begun to be honest in recovery?
• Can I tell my sponsor or someone else when I have been thinking about drinking or acting out on my disease in some other way?
• How am I practicing open-mindedness, humility, and willingness today?

SESSION 6

STEP 2 We Agnostics

Step 2 Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
Willing to believe…cornerstone [of a] spiritual structure. (47: 2)

Step 2 written inventory

Take Step 2

I ON YOUR OWN: STUDY – What did the Big Book authors say?

• READ ReadChapter 4, We Agnostics and Appendix II. Many will read Step 2 in the 12&12.

• WRITE Write about your reflections on the chapter. Spirituality is taking the focus off of us, being more considerate of others, and awakening to a life already connected to a higher power. You may want to consider these questions:

• • • What is my understanding of being restored?
    • How can I see a higher power working in my life?
    • What characteristics does my higher power NOT have?
    • What characteristics DOES my higher power have? This is sufficient to begin.

• TALK Call your sponsor and other group members to discuss your thoughts on the chapter.

• PRACTICE DAILY MEDITATION / PRAYER

II WITH THE GROUP: PRACTICE – What does the Big Book say to me about my practice of Step 2?
Step 2 reminds us that it is crazy to think we needed to be in control. Consider reading portions of the chapter in the group and sharing your writings with the group. Perhaps some may share their experiences/understandings of higher power.


Points of Focus and Reflection (Consider pp. 44: 1,3; 45: 1,2,3; 47: 1; 52: 1,2,3; 567-8)
1.) Am I willing?

• Can I believe that other alcoholics have found peace of mind through this process?
• What, precisely and in detail, have I worshipped? (54: 1)
• What, exactly, have I experienced? (55: 2-3)
• Am I willing to consider that I am not at the core of everything (good or bad), and hence there may be a power greater than any one of us?
• Was I insane or crazy to believe the lies the alcohol told me?

2.) My Problem

• What do these definitions of alcoholism mean to me?:

• • when you honestly want to, you find you cannot quitentirely
  • when drinking, you have little control over the amount you take. (44: 1)

• If insanity is a loss of perspective and proportion (5: 5; 37: 1), how is this like denial, dishonesty, or lack of humility?
• In what areas of my life do I need sanity now?
• In what ways am I addicted to my painful and insane ways of thinking and reacting?

3.) My Solution

• How do I react when the authors tell me that we must find a spiritual basis in life – or else? (44: 3) In what ways am I spiritual?
• What does it mean: the Big Book’s main objectis to enable you to find a Power greater than yourself which will solve your problem? (45: 2)

4.) My Own Conception of a Higher Power

• What do the terms ‘agnostic,’ ‘we came to believe’ and ‘restore us to sanity’ mean to me? (See 55: 1-4, 57: 0)

• How does my childhood training about God affect my life and recovery today? (45: 3)
• What does it mean when the authors of the Big Book say, When, therefore, we speak to you of God, we mean your own conception of God? This applies, too, to other spiritual expressions…. What [do] they mean to you? (47: 1)
• What does work mean, as in, Is not our age characterized by the ease with which we discard old ideas for new,…throw away the theory or gadget which does not work for something new which does? (52: 1)
• What works and does not work in my life to give me serenity and peace of mind?
• For me, how is it that, Our ideas did not work. But the God idea did? (52: 3)

III DAILY PRACTICE OF STEP 2 PRINCIPLES

• How may I know that help is available, that I am not entirely alone?
• How may I stop relying on my own thinking and begin to ask for help today?
• Have I sought help from my sponsor, gone to meetings, and reached out to other recovering alcoholics? What were the results?
• May I find a sign of a higher power in the support I receive from the fellowship?

……………………………………………………………………………
IV TAKE STEP 2 We take Step 2 in the second paragraph of page 47.
Do I now believe, or am I even willing to believe, that there is a Power greater than myself? (47: 2)
When we assent, then according to the Big Book and under the conditions of this day, we take Step 2. Remember that in working Step 2 for today, and all the Steps, your reasonable best is always more than good enough. Some groups mark taking Step 2 by holding hands and reciting the Step.

pp. 26-27
http://www.stepsbybigbook.net/

SESSION 7

STEP 3 How it Works pp. 58 - 64

Step 3 Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God, as we understood Him.

The keystoneof the new and triumphant arch. (62: 3) A beginning. (63: 3)

Step 3 written inventory

Take Step 3

I ON YOUR OWN: STUDY – What did the Big Book authors say?

• READ Read Chapter 5, How it Works, pp. 58- 64: 0.Many will also read Step 3 in the 12&12.

• WRITE Write about your thoughts and reflections on this chapter and the focus questions.

• TALK Call your sponsor and other members of the group to discuss the reading and your reflections.

• PRACTICE DAILY MEDITATION / PRAYER

II WITH THE GROUP: PRACTICE – What does the Big Book say to me about my practice of Step 3?
The first part of Chapter 5 is often read at meetings. Have you ever thought about what How it Worksmeans to you? Have one or more members of the group share their experiences with working Step 3 by the Big Book. Consider sharing your written reflections on the Step with the group.


Points of Focus and Reflection (Consider pp. 60: 3-63: 3)
1.) The Problem of Self
a.) Each person is like an actor who wants to run the whole show. (60: 4)

• Our actor is self-centered … Are not most of us concerned with our resentments, our self-pity, or ourselves? (61: 2)
• How am I like an actor? (60: 4) What roles, what masks, what characters do I play? Are these old worn out defenses? [See 73: 1; Optional 12&12, 57: 1]
• Am I almost always in collision with something or some body? (60: 4)

b.) The show doesn’t come off. (61: 1)

• Where do I think that life does not treat me right? (61: 1)
• Where do my actions make the other players wish to retaliate and snatch all they can get out of the show? (61: 1)
• In my own life, am I familiar with the progression: anger => indignation => self-pity? (61: 1) Describe in detail.

• In what ways does the following describe me? Is he not a victim of the delusion that he can wrest satisfaction and happiness out of this world if he only manages well? (61: 1) [Is this the essence of Step 1?] -What do delusion (30: 2; 61: 1), denial (10: 1), and manages mean to me?

c.) So our troubles, we think, are basically of our own making. (62: 2)

• Do I think my troubles are of my own making? What does this mean?
• How do my reactions to life events make me suffer? Be specific.
• Driven by a hundred forms of fear, self-delusion, self-seeking, and self-pity, we step on the toes of our fellows and they retaliate. (62: 1)
• Where in the past have I made decisions based on self that later placed me in a position to be hurt? (62: 1) Be specific and give details. [See what self-instincts can be threatened, and that we react to, in the Third Column in Step 4, p. 65: 2]

2.) The Solution: The God Idea (45: 3; 52: 3)

• We alcoholics must be rid of this selfishness. (62: 2)
• How has my playing God worked, or not worked, to give me serenity?
• We had to quit playing God. It didn’t work. (62: 3)
• When did I stop playing God?

3.) The Program of Action

• Can I make a decision to turn my life and will over to a higher power, just for today?
• In what ways am I taking action on Step 3 when I abstain from alcohol and work the remaining Steps?
• Step 3 Promises: Is it possible that I could enjoy peace of mind, face life successfully, and lose [my] fear? (63: 1) How?

III DAILY PRACTICE OF STEP 3 PRINCIPLES

• How does Step 3 allow me to build on the surrender I have developed in Step 1 and Step 2?
• Am I fighting anything in recovery? What do I think would happen if I became willing to let recovery prevail in that area of my life?
• How may I reaffirm my decision on a daily basis and continue to take the action of working the rest of the Steps?
• How may I decide to let go today, and surrender to being in unison with life?

……………………………………………………………………………
IV TAKE STEP 3 We take Step 3 in the second paragraph on page 63.
Have we decided that we are the agents of the higher power of our understanding? (62: 3) [See also 49: 1; 68: 3] Are we willing to decide to let go of our need to control, just for today?
According to the Big Book, and under the conditions of this day, we take Step 3.
Some groups acknowledge taking this Step by reciting the great Third Step Prayer. Others will join hands and recite the Step. Feel free to do what is appropriate for you and the group.

pp. 30-31
http://www.stepsbybigbook.net/

PART II

SESSIONS 8 - 12

STEP 4

FOCUS MEDITATIONS / PRAYERS

RESENTMENT:
We asked God [of our understanding]to help us show them the same tolerance, pity, and patience that we would cheerfully grant a sick friend.
When a person offended we said to ourselves, “This is a sick man. How can I be helpful to him? God save me from being angry. Thy will be done.” (67: 0)


[Optional: If you have a resentment you want to be free of, if you will pray for the person or thing that you resent, you will be free. If you will ask in prayer for everything you want for yourself to be given to them, you will be free. Ask for their health, their prosperity, their happiness, and you will be free. Even when you don’t really want it for them and your prayers are only words and you don’t mean it, go ahead and do it anyway. Do it every day for two weeks, and you will find you have come to mean it and to want it for them, and you will realize that where you used to feel bitterness and resentment and hatred, you now feel compassionate understanding and love.(Freedom From Bondage, 552: 1)]


FEAR:
We let Him [higher power of our understanding] demonstrate, through us, what He can do.
We ask Him to remove our fear and direct our attention to what He would have us be.
At once, we commence to outgrow fear. (68: 3)


RELATIONSHIPS INCLUDING SEX:
We asked God [of our understanding] to mold our ideals and help us to live up to them. (69: 2)
In meditation, we ask God what we should do about each specific matter. (69: 3)
We let God be the final judge. (70: 0)


p. 34
http://www.stepsbybigbook.net/

NOTES ON STEP 4

When the spiritual malady is overcome, we straighten out mentally and physically. (64: 3)


I ruthlessly faced my sins [blocks to Spirit]. (Bill’s Story, 13: 2)
Heard in a meeting: “We need self-acceptance before we can have self improvement.”




Problem / Solution / Program of Action
We have come a long way to reach Step 4. We now understand that our problem lies in being powerless over such recurring mental obsessions as the thought that we can drink again in safety, when taking that drink triggers our physical compulsion to drink to excess.
Our solution is to find a power greater than any one of us which can restore us to sanity, health, and wholeness.
Our program of action is to turn our life and will over to such a power, of our own understanding, by the discipline of the daily practice of the Twelve Steps within the AA fellowship. The key to this action is our experience that our troubles…are basically of our own making. (62: 2) We have learned that our own reactions to hard times or good times have become self-centered thought-habits that frequently stand in the way of recovery. We learn that with help, we can change these for our own serenity.


Kit of spiritual tools
We have been promised a kit of spiritual tools. (25: 1) Step 4 delivers a process (64: 1), a method (114: 1) and a treatment (551: 1) that we can use often on our reactions to past events and present day troubles (Step 10), so we are less likely to pick up a drink and more likely to have peace of mind. While there is hard work ahead, we will be learning a lot about ourselves, and we do not have to dread it. Step 4 is not a test, we cannot fail it. The last thing we need is another chance to beat up on ourselves.


Assets
[An] inventory...is an effort to discover the truth about the stock-in-trade.(64: 1) We are in the business of staying sober, and the ways we think and behave are the stock in trade. We are practicing understanding the exact nature of what in our lives has not worked to give us peace of mind and also what have we done right. We may address questions like these:

• What qualities do I like about myself? That others like?
• What are my values? Which ones am I committed to living by, and how?
• How have I shown concern for others, including myself?
• What spiritual principles am I practicing in my life?
• When have I done the right thing? What are my successes?

[For Step 4 assets see BB pages 67: 0, 1 and 70: 3. Also see the optional adapted 1946 A.A. Grapevine “Assets and Liabilities checklist” on page 34 of this workbook for a sample list of assets.]




Blocks to our Spirit
The premise of Step 4 is that we have difficulty turning our life and will over because some of our thoughts and behaviors block us from experiencing our Spirit – our higher power or our own better nature. We use the Step 4 process in order to identify these habitual blocking thoughts and behaviors in any resentment, fear, or hurtful action. Once we look deeper inside for the source of our old worn out defenses, or patterns, or defects, or shortcomings, which are usually involved in the roles we played in painful life events, then we can move on and change them in the Steps that follow. This enables us to clear a channel choked up with self-centered, dishonest or fearful motives and permits us to return to our search for our higher power's will, not our own, in any moment of stress. (Optional, see 12&12, 103: 0)


What part of ourselves?
Through practice we learn to focus not so much on who it was that hurt or threatened us, or how they did that, but more on what part of ourselves was disturbed so that we drank, or acted as though we had been drinking. This often relates to feelings associated with our attitudes, personalities and behaviors in reaction to real or imagined threats to our security, our self esteem, or our sex / relationship instincts. We have little control over others and what they do, but we can change how we habitually react to life events. This is difficult for us. But, if we do not change we may drink. We have to ask for help. We find that help through the discipline of the practice of the Twelve Steps.



pp. 36-37
http://www.stepsbybigbook.net/

SESSION 8

STEP 4 How It Works Resentment Grudge List

Step 4: Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
The 1ST and 2ND working of the grudge list.
If we were to live, we had to be free of anger. (66: 2)


I ON YOUR OWN: STUDY- What did the Big Book authors say?

• READ Read Chapter 5, How It Works. (8 paragraphs, pp. 64-66) Many will read Step 4 in the 12&12 as well. Watch out for paralysis from fear or perfectionism.
  • • We come here with a huge load of stored up shame, guilt, and unresolved pain to be let go of. Step 4 helps us lay bare the conflicts of the past so that we are no longer at their mercy.
    • Step 4 gives us the means to find out who we are, and what we are not. It is about finding our assets as well as our defects of character. We discover that our problems began long before we took our first drink. We may have felt isolated and afraid, and it was our desire to change the way we felt that led to our drinking.
    • We have a disease. We are not responsible for being an alcoholic, any more than a diabetic is responsible for being diabetic. But now that we know we are an alcoholic, we are responsible for our recovery. There are no longer excuses, because we realize we must live the Steps daily or we will die spiritually, emotionally and physically. We are working on practices - things we do - that we will use every day of our lives to move us from being restless, irritable and discontented toward keeping us sober and having serenity and peace of mind.

• WRITE Do Step 4 as best you reasonably can, and that is more than good enough.

Start writing your grudge lists, one list at a time. Put down all the people, places, and things who you resent on a list. Then list a few notes about how you were hurt or threatened (65: 0), or where you had expectations of others, or others had expectations of you – where you were sore or were ‘burned up.’ (65: 0). And then list what part of your self was affected.
[Resentment: (L -to re-feel.) Indignantly to feel old injuries over and over again.] [Anger: (ON -grief.) To rage.] [Grudge: (OF -to murmur.) Ill-will.]

• TALK Call your sponsor and other members of the group. If there were abuse issues, the task is to not deny them, and to seek outside counseling help.

• PRACTICE DAILY MEDITATION / PRAYER Call on a higher power.

p. 40
http://www.stepsbybigbook.net/

• List all the people, institutions, or principles you resent. Tip: Carry a list with you and write down details about every time you are restless, irritated, and discontent, every time you are annoyed, angry, or have expectations, etc.

• Try the example of the Mr. Brown multi-column chart on BB page 65.

• Fill in only the first column for now.
• Make the chart as large or as small as you see fit.

• In the first column, the grudge list (65: 1), we listed [names of] people, institutions, or principles with whom we were angry. (64: 3)
• List 100 or 300 or 1000 names of people (parents, spouse, co-workers, the people in traffic or the checkout line, etc.), institutions (jail, IRS, etc.), or principles (‘You reap what you sow.’ ‘Our troubles are of our own making,’ etc.) about which you have resentments.

2.) How? The Second Column: “How did they hurt or threaten me?” (65: 2) After you have made the list of all the people, institutions, and principles that you resent, one at a time you are ready to begin to fill in the second column. You might consider selecting a few representative “grudges” to work on now, reserving the option to eventually work through all of them.

• We asked ourselves why we were angry. (64: 3)
• We set opposite each name our injuries. (65: 1)

Grudge List
Who? (People, Places, Things,
Institutions, Principles, etc.)
How? How they hurt or
threatened me.
…example… (65: 2)
Mr. Brown
His attention to my wife.
Told my wife of my mistress.
Brown may get my job.


Now that you have made a list of everything the people, places, institutions, principles, etc. on your list did to cause your resentment, you are ready to proceed to the Third Column. You list what part of yourself was affected by the actions of the person, place, institution, or principle that you resent.


3.) What? The Third Column: “What part of my Self did they hurt or threaten?” In most cases it was found that our self-esteem, our pocketbooks, our ambitions, our personal relationships (including sex) were hurt or threatened. (64: 3-65: 0)

• Was it our self-esteem, our security, our ambitions, our personal, or sex relations, which had been interfered with? (65: 1)
• Opposite each selected name, and every cause (65: 2) listed, one at a time succinctly write down in the third column what part of your self, or your instincts, or your actor’s role, was affected. [See: Each person is like an actor…. (60: 4)]
• [Heard in a meeting: “We list the three ‘S’s’ of the instinct of Self:

• 1. 1. • a.) Security instinct – material and emotional;
        • b.) Self-esteem instinct – fear for our very existence
        • c.) Sex instinct – relationship, companionship.”]
• Our resentments are part of our reaction to these perceived threats.

Grudge List
Who? (People, Places, Things, Institutions, Principles, etc.)
How? How they hurt or threatened me.
What? What part of self affected that I reacted to.
…example… (65: 2)
Mr. Brown


Brown may get my job.
Security
Self-esteem (fear)








p. 42
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• To conclude that others were wrong was as far as most of us ever got.(66: 0)
• Sometimes it was remorse and then we were sore at ourselves. (66: 0) [ie: self pity. See He becomes angry, indignant, self-pitying. (61: 1)]
• It is plain that a life which includes deep resentment leads only to futility and unhappiness. (66: 1)
• To the …extent that we permit these [resentments],…we squander the hours.(66: 1) But with the alcoholic, whose hope is the maintenance and growth of a spiritual experience, this business of resentment is infinitely grave. (66: 1)
• For when harboring such feelings we shut ourselves off from the sunlight of the Spirit. (66: 1)

• We found that it is fatal. (66: 1)
• The insanity of alcohol returns and we drink again. (66: 1)
• And with us, to drink is to die. (66: 1)

• If we were to live, we had to be free of anger. (66: 2)
• For alcoholics these things are poison. (66: 2)

• We learned from the Second Column that it is not who the people, institutions, or principles are that make us angry and resentful; it is how they hurt or threatened us. It is not so much who they are but how they ACT. We may begin forgiving ourselves for our own actions and behaviors, and others for their actions, right here.
• We learned from the Third Column that it is not who or even how they hurt us, but the way we have habitually chosen to REACT to what they threaten in us which determines whether we are upset or not.
• We react by habit.

• Now we know why we must change. We go to the 3RD and 4TH working of the grudge list in Session 9, when we are ready, to see where we were responsible.

SESSION 9

STEP 4 How It Works Resentment ‘Turnarounds’

The 3RD and 4TH working of the grudge list.
They, like ourselves, were sick too. (67:0)


I ON YOUR OWN: STUDY – What did Big Book authors say?

• READ Read of Step 4 Resentments in the Big Book (the final 4 paragraphs, pp. 66-67)

• 1. 1. • Turn Back In Session 9 we turn…back (see 66: 3) to the list and do the 3RD and 4TH workings of our resentment inventory.
        • Turnarounds ‘Turnarounds’ is a term used by some in AA to indicate the beneficial huge emotional displacements and rearrangements (27: 4) that happen to us as we work through the Big Book Step 4 process. Our Step 4 turnaround is returning us to our proper orientation, back from our isolation. We are given tools to do this through a close and inquiring reading of Step 4 in the Big Book.

• WRITE Write about one or more resentments or about your reflections on the readings. Heard in a meeting: “An expectation is a resentment waiting to happen.”

• TALK Call your sponsor and other members of the group.

• PRACTICE DAILY MEDITATION / PRAYER Ask for help.

II WITH THE GROUP: PRACTICE – What does the Big Book say to me
about my practice of my resentment inventory?


Continue your discussions with the group about your resentments and how you are working the Steps in order to address them.


Points of Focus and Reflection (Consider pp.66: 3-67: 2)Cross off the bulleted points.


A. The 3RD Working of the Grudge List: When?“When I am ready, what do I do?”Turned back to the list (66: 3) Begin with centering silence.

1.) A Different Angle – Three Column Lessons

• We turned back to the list, for it held the key to the future. (66: 3)
• We were prepared to look at it from an entirely different angle. (66: 3)

• We began to see that the world and its people really dominated us. (66: 3) [First Column lesson- “There is no room for contact with my higher power.”]
• In that state, the wrong-doing of others, fancied or real… [Second Column lesson- “It was not who, but how they hurt me that I’m mad at.”]
• had power to actually kill. (66: 3) [Third Column lesson- “I react and drink.”]

2.) How Could We Escape? (66: 3)Empathy – They are like us.

• This was our course: We realized that the people who wronged us [First Column names -who hurt us] were perhaps spiritually sick. (66: 4)
• Though we did not like their symptoms…[Second Column –how they hurt us]
• …and the way these disturbed us,… [Third Column –what part of self we reacted to]
• they, like ourselves, were sick too. (67:0)

3.) Meditation / Prayer * Avoid retaliation.

• We asked God [of our understanding] to help us show them the same tolerance, pity, and patience that we would cheerfully grant a sick friend. (67: 0)
• We avoid retaliation or argument. (67: 1)

B. The 4TH Working of the Grudge List: Where?“Where am I responsible?” “Can I describe my part?”
Referring to our list again. (67: 2) Meditation / prayer to ask for help.


1.) Our Own Mistakes
Putting out of our minds the wrongs others had done, we resolutely looked for our own mistakes. (67: 2) [Mistake: A wrong action. Error; not right; blunder; out of bounds; missing the mark; defect; shortcoming.]


2.) Our Motives – More writing in more columns.

• Where had we been selfish, dishonest, self-seeking and frightened? (67: 2)
  • These motives (86: 2) were the terms used by early AA’s as mirror-images of the “Four Absolutes” of the Oxford Group: “Absolute Selflessness,” “Absolute Honesty,” “Absolute Purity,” and “Absolute Love.”
  • Afraid of getting drunk trying to be absolutely too good too soon, the Big Book authors tried rather to be less selfish, less dishonest, less self-seeking, and less fearful. Consequently they found they were less likely to take a drink and less likely to live on an emotional dry bender.
• Opposite each Third Column instinct or role that was threatened and that you reacted to, write down and share precisely and in detail what your motives were.
• Try to keep your written responses concise with specific examples. Avoid generalities. Expand upon "I lied," or "I was dishonest," by telling what happened: "I promised to be there and never showed up."

p. 44-45
http://www.stepsbybigbook.net/

• Selfishness: ego = me. Self-absorption: "It's all about me!" Regard for our own interest or happiness to the disregard of the well-being of others. Not aware of others and their needs. Instinctively putting our own needs first. A false sense of a separate self, etc.
  • Habitual selfishness: We could not see others’ or our real place in the universe. [Our total inability to form a true partnership with another human being. 12&12, 53: 1]
  • ‘Turnaround’: We begin to see that we can change to our true nature – so that ultimately the best care of ourselves lies in our unselfish regard for the concern of the whole, that care for others includes us as well. Care of our selves becomes care of our soul, and is known to be care of all.

• Dishonest: Fraudulent, not what purported. The reverse of honesty; lack of probity or integrity; disposition to deceive, defraud, or steal; thievishness; theft, fraud. Not corresponding to fact. Trying to be people pleasers in order to gain approval from other people. Believing the lies our mind tells us, etc.
  • Habitual dishonesty: We lost perspective. We often did not even know we were lying because we had a false way of seeing reality.
  • ‘Turnaround’: We begin to see that we can change to our true nature – to be who we truly are, free from concealment, to be a sincere person acting in direct, frank, open ways. We are good and caring people.

• Self-seeking: The seeking after our own welfare before that of others, prosecution of selfish ends. To put ourselves either above or below others. Seeing ourselves as better or worse than others. Lacking perspective, etc
  • Inconsiderate: Thoughtless, negligent, rash, incautious, heedless.
  • Habitual self-seeking: As a matter of course we tended to put our needs first, including our needs to be first, to be last, to be liked, to be feared, and to be pitied. [Top of the heap, or to hide underneath it. 12&12, 53: 1]
  • ‘Turnaround’: We begin to see that we can change from self-seeking to our true nature – to be thoughtful and considerate and in partnership with others and to act with loving compassion toward ourselves and others.

• Fear: To feel alarmed or uneasy. The emotion of pain or uneasiness caused by the sense of impending danger. Apprehension of some future evil. [Fear that we would lose something we already possessed or would fail to get something we wanted. 12&12, 76: 2], or be found out for who we are. To lose heart, etc.
  • Habitual fear: Our apprehension of impending danger, our anxiety, was the existential basis for our selfishness, our dishonesty and self-seeking and our drinking.

• • be free of alarm and apprehension, free of being restless, irritable and discontented, and to embrace a feeling of goodwill toward all creation. We can act with loving compassion.
  • [Heard in a meeting: “Fear is to lose heart. Courage is to take heart. Love is to open one's heart. Trust is to rely on heart. Faith is trust in heart.”]

• Though a situation had not been entirely our fault
• we tried to disregard the other personinvolved entirely. (67: 2)
• Where were we to blame? (67: 2) Did you step on their toes? (See 62: 1) [Blame: Responsibility for fault or error, or being not right. Blundering; out of bounds; missing the mark; defects, shortcomings.]
• Were your reactions out of bounds?
• The inventory was ours, not the other man's. (67: 2)

• When we saw our faults, we listed them. (67: 2) [Fault: A seismic gap; a conflict between deeply held values; or instincts in collision, ie: We want to help others, but also we want our own way. Out of bounds; missing the mark; shortcomings.]
• We placed them before us in black and white. (67: 2) Write them down.
• Disregarding everyone and everything else involved, look at each angry reaction situation and see what, if anything, you did to cause each event, or to make it worse, or to react to it and hence create more troubles for yourself or others.
• We admitted our wrongs honestly (67: 2) [Wrong: Twisted way of thinking and acting. Error; not right; blunder; out of bounds; missing the mark; shortcomings.]

STEP 4 Resentment Grudge List (65: 1) Inventory Forms


Make multiple copies or expand these templates into your own notebook.
Who? “Who hurt or threatened me?”I’m resentful at… (65: 2)
Work down the list from top to bottom, just writing the names at this time. Ignore the Second and Third columns for now. Use multiple pages.
…………………………………………………………………………
Person 18.
Institution
Principle I resent 19.


1. 20.


2. 21.


3. 22.


4. 23.


5. 24.


6. 25.


7. 26.


8. 27.


9. 28.


10. 29.


11. 30.


12. 31.


13. 32.


14. 33.


15. 34.


16. 35.


17. 36. Etc., etc.

Step 4- Resentment- Fill in Second and Third Columns
Make multiple copies or expand these templates into your own notebook.
1. Who? First Column name: I’m Resentful At… (65: 2)
“Who hurt or threatened or interfered with me?” Inventory one name at a time.
2. How? Second Column: The Cause… (65: 2)
“How did they hurt or threaten or interfere with me?”
Opposite each selected name we write down in four or five words how they hurt us that caused our anger and resentment. We write just in this second column for now.
3. What? Third Column: Affects My… (65: 2)
“What part of my Self did they hurt or threaten and that I reacted to?”
Opposite each selected name, and every cause listed, we succinctly write down in the third column what part of self (security, self-esteem, sex or relationships, etc.), or instinct (64: 3-65: 1), or actor’s role or character (60: 4) was hurt or threatened or in play. Our resentments are part of our reaction to this perceived threat.


1. First Column:
I’m resentful at:
Who? Who resent?
2. Second Column:
The cause:
How? The cause?
3. Third Column:
Affects my:
What? Part of self?








p.49-50
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• Putting out of our minds the wrongs others had done, [Second Column] we resolutely looked for our own mistakes. (67: 2)
• Where had we been selfish, dishonest, self-seeking and frightened? (67: 2)

SESSION 10

STEP 4 How It Works Our fears. (68: 1)

But did not we, ourselves, set the ball rolling? (67 ; 3)

I ON YOUR OWN: STUDY- What did the Big Book authors say?

• READ Read Chapter 5, How It Works, on the fear inventory. (67-68)

• 1. • We want to get rid of the fear and resentment that control our thinking so a power greater than any one of us can direct our thinking instead.
     • Our fears come from our early childhood ideas, emotions, and attitudes (27: 4) that we developed in reaction to ancient fancied or real (66: 3) threats to our basic instincts of life. Without awareness, our old thoughts and fears may become today’s actions.
     • [Fear: (OE- sudden danger.) Dread, expectation of harm, or ambush; dismay, panic.] Heard in a meeting: “Anxiety is the existential basis of our addiction to alcohol.”

• WRITE Write daily about your fears and “{#1 – #3} the three fear questions.”
• TALK Call your sponsor and other members of the group to discuss fear.
• PRACTICE DAILY MEDITATION / PRAYER Call on a higher power.

II WITH THE GROUP: PRACTICE- What does the Big Book say to me about my practice of my fear inventory?
What are the underlying fears we try to avoid by using alcohol?


Points of Focus and Reflection. (Consider pp. 67: 3-68: 3)
A. Who? How? What?The word “fear.” (67: 3) We may treat fear, or any other problem, as we do resentments. (See 69: 3) Begin with centering silence.
Use the same page 65 three-column format to take an inventory of your fears.
Fear Inventory
Who: People, institutions, and principles that cause me fear. “#1 When did I first have this fear?”
How? How have they frightened me?
“#2 Why do I have this fear?”


What? What part of my self has been affected and how have I reacted to it?










1.) First Column: Who? “Who threatened me?” 1st Fear Question “{#1}When did I first have this fear?” (See 68: 1)
We reviewed our fears thoroughly. We put them on paper, even though we had no resentment in connection with them. (68: 1) List your fears and the first time you had them. We find that we are fearful of everything and everyone.
Fear Inventory
Who: People that cause me fear. “#1 When did I first have this fear?”
Mr. Brown
2.) Second Column: How? “How did they threaten me?” 2nd Fear Question: “{#2}Why do I have this fear?” (See 68: 1) How did self-reliance fail me?


We asked ourselves why we had them. (68: 1) We literally ask over and over for each circumstance and every response:

• 1. • “Why do I have this fear?”
     • “Why do I fear that?”
     • “And the reason I fear that?” (Our very existence feels threatened.)
     • Wasn't it because self-reliance failed us? (68:1)

Fear Inventory
Who: People, that cause me fear. “#1 When did I first have this fear?”
How? How have they frightened me?
“#2 Why do I have this fear?”
Mr. Brown
Told my wife of my mistress.


3.)Third Column What? “What part of my life instinct was hurt or threatened, and how did I react to it?”

• Which of your instinctive social and security and sexual needs, desires and actor’s roles were threatened and at play in your fear reactions?

Fear Inventory
Who: People that cause me fear. “#1 When did I first have this fear?”
How? How have they frightened me?
“#2 Why do I have this fear?”
What? What part of self has been affected and how have I reacted to it?
Mr. Brown
Told my wife of my mistress.


Self-esteem (fear) Sex relations
Personal relationship


B. We Turned Back to the List. (66: 3) Meditation / Prayer * – Ask for help.

• Trust Higher Power rather that Self-Reliance.

• 1. • 3rd Fear Question: “{#3}May I share feelings and experiences of courage about trusting and relying on my higher power, as found through the practice of this program?” (See 68: 2) [Courage: acting in the face of fear.]

• 1. • We trust infinite God [of our understanding] rather than our finite selves. (68: 2) We let [our higher power] demonstrate, through us, what [our higher power] can do. (68: 3) [See also 49: 1; 62: 3] What does this mean? Is this what the program of action is all about?

• Our Own Mistakes (67: 2) Where had you been Selfish, Dishonest, Self-seeking or Inconsiderate? (67: 2; 69: 1) “Where am I responsible?”
  1. • Write precisely and in detail about your reactions to fear situations and Third Column threatened instincts.
• When We Saw Our Faults We Listed Them. (67: 2)
  1. • But did not we, ourselves, set the ball rolling? (67: 3) “What did I do?” The effects of your self-centered fear.

C. Step 4 Fear Turnaround Willing to change * Meditation / Prayer

• [Optional: God of my understanding, I pray that my fear be removed and my attention directed to being who you would have me be today. May thy will, not mine, be done. (See 68: 3)]

pp. 53-54
http://www.stepsbybigbook.net/

Step 4- Fears Fill in Second and Third Columns
Make multiple copies or expand these templates into your own notebook


1. First Column: Who threatened me? 1st Fear question: “{#1}When did I first have this fear?” (See 68: 1) Inventory one fear at a time.
2. Second Column: How did they threaten me? 2nd Fear question: “{#2}Why do I have this fear?” We asked ourselves why we had them. (68: 1) We literally ask over and over for each circumstance and every response, “Why do I have this fear?” “And why do I fear that?” “And what is the reason I fear that?” Etc., etc. We fear for our very existence. Wasn't it because self-reliance failed us? (68: 1) We write just in this second column for now.
3. Third Column: What life instincts threatened?
Which of our instinctive social and security and sexual needs and desires were threatened and at play in our reactions? Our self-esteem, our pocketbooks, our ambitions… our security… our personal or sex relations…were hurt…threatened…[or] had been interfered with. (64: 3 - 65: 0,1) [and we reacted!]


First Column: Who?
Fears- “{#1}When did I first have this fear?” (68: 1)
Second Column: How?
Cause- “{#2}Why do I have this fear?” And that one? Etc., etc.
Third Column: What?
Affects my- I reacted to threats to these instincts.










p. 56
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