Thoughts To Help You On Your Recovery Path
 

"Words of Wisdom..."

1. No one can ruin your day without YOUR permission.

2. Most people will be about as happy, as they decide to be.

3. Others can stop you temporarily, but only you can do it permanently.

4. Whatever you are willing to put up with, is exactly what you will have.

5. Success stops when you do.

6. When your ship comes in.... make sure you are willing to unload it.

7. You will never "have it all together."

8. Life is a journey...not a destination. Enjoy the trip!

9. The biggest lie on the planet: "When I get what I want I will be happy."

10. The best way to escape your problem is to solve it.

11. I've learned that ultimately , 'takers' lose and 'givers' win.

12. Life's precious moments don't have value, unless they are shared.

13. If you don't start, it's certain you won't arrive.

14. We often fear the thing we want the most.

15. Everyone hears what you say. Friends listen to what you have to say. Best friends listen to what
you don't say!

16. Yesterday was the deadline for all complaints.

17. Look for opportunities...not guarantees.

18. Life is what's coming....not what was.

19. Success is getting up one more time.

20. Now is the most interesting time of all.

21. When things go wrong.....don't go with them.

22. Sometimes the majority only means that all the fools are on the same side.

23. God can mend all broken hearts. You just have to give him all the pieces.

24. A person who asks a question might be a fool for five minutes, but a person who doesn't ask, is a
fool forever...

25. A best friend is like a four leaf clover... hard to find, and lucky to have.

26. A friend is someone who reaches for your hand but touches your heart.

27. A coincidence is when God performs a miracle, and decides to remain anonymous.

28. I don't have to attend every argument I'm invited to.

29. Your worst days are never so bad that you are beyond the reach of God's grace... and your best days are never so good that you are beyond the need of God's grace.

30. Our eyes are placed in front because it is more important to look ahead than to look back.

My favorite slogan is "Let it begin with me."

It reminds me that my recoveryis about me and not about the other person. No matter what someone says or does, it is about me, my thoughts and my actions.

The slogan that has probably helped me the most and has helped me to change my old habits and behaviors is "Hesitate and Meditate." Stop before I think and react.

With it goes the slogan "Listen to Learn, Learn to Listen." It was always about me and what I needed. I had to learn to stop and listent to others and to what they had to say. Sometimes the best way you can help somone is to just listen to them.

But for the Grace of God - I would not be here. My name in real life means God's Gracious Gift. I did not think it was so for many years. I used and abused myself and allowed others to do so. I had to come to realize that I was loved, that this second chance at life was given to me, it was up to me to give back to others, the special gift that I had been given.

We can`t compare this Christmas with Christmas past if we stay clean and sober. We have a Higher Power, hopefully new friends and acquaintances. We can go to meetings and connect with others, we are no longer alone.

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Noah's Ark Everything I need to know, I learned from Noah's Ark .

ONE: Don't miss the boat.

TWO: Remember that we are all in the same boat!

THREE: Plan ahead. It wasn't raining when Noah built the Ark.

FOUR: Stay fit. When you're 60 years old, someone may ask you to do something really big.

FIVE: Don't listen to critics; just get on with the job that needs to be done.

SIX: Build your future on high ground.

SEVEN: For safety's sake, travel in pairs.

EIGHT: Speed isn't always an advantage.. The snails were on board with the cheetahs.

NINE: When you're stressed, float awhile.

TEN: Remember, the Ark was built by amateurs; the Titanic by professionals.

ELEVEN: No matter the storm, when you are with God, there's always a rainbow waiting.

My instructions were to send this to the people that I wanted God to bless and I picked you. Please pass this on to people you want to be blessed.

(Give it!! Don't just get it.)

Most people walk in and out of your life.......but FRIENDS leave footprints in your heart

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Have seen this many times but I am always blessed when I re-read it, original source unknown:

My favorite slogan is "Let it begin with me."

It reminds me that my recovery is about me and not about the other person. No matter what someone says or does, it is about me, my thoughts and my actions.

The slogan that has probably helped me the most and is "Hesitate and Meditate." Stop before I think and react.
has helped me to change my old habits and behaviours
With it goes the slogan "Listen to Learn, Learn to Listen." It was always about me and what I needed. I had to learn to stop and listen to others and to what they had to say. Sometimes the best way you can help someone is to just listen to them.

But for the Grace of God - I would not be here. My name in real life means God's Gracious Gift. I did not think it was so for many years. I used and abused myself and allowed others to do so. I had to come to realize that I was loved, that this second chance at life was given to me, it was up to me to give back to others, the special gift that I had been given.

A slogan that I have problems with is "Easy Does It...but do it!" I seem to always go gung-ho at anything I do (except dishes), and I put all my energy into it, and then after go, go, going, I crash and go boom.

Today I took the bus downtown and back. I didn't do a lot more than what I needed to do and didn't even check out the whole market, only went to where I needed to go. I was grateful that the elevator was working and I didn't have to take the ramp. Yet for all of that, I came home and just had to go and have a lay down. My son called and woke me up, tried to stay up but just couldn't. Today I did after having a reasonable night sleep. I went the other day with just a couple of hours sleep and yet I had the same results.

So it is easy does it, do what you need to do when you need to do it! Many times, I would go so easy, I wouldn't get it done! I have never been good at doing things a little at a time. I don't even like to put a book down after I start reading it.

"If it ain't broke, don't fix it!"

I was broke and needed fixin' and my God and I are still working on it!

You can learn two things at a meeting. How to work your program and how NOT to work your program! Just because someone is in the rooms of recovery doesn't mean have it all together. A long-timer can hurt just as much as a newcomer. This is a 'One Day At A Time' program.

There are many slogans, I always looked at them as mini-steps. There are many of them besides the original one from AA and many have been added to the list by alcoholics and addicts.

Live and let live.
But for the grace of God...
Keep It Simple
Let go and let God
One day at a time
First Things First
Think, Think, Think
Easy Does It...but do it!
Just For Today
Use it or lose it
Utilize NOT criticize
Each day is a new beginning
and the list goes on and on...

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When I re-read the quote, the thought that came to mind was, "Just because I had a feeling or a thought, didn't mean I had to act on it. That was something I had done wrong all of my life. I would see or hear and would immediately presume you were looking or talking about me and often in defense, I felt like I had to retaliate.

There was very little stop before you speak. I would hear things and perceive them as derogatory and hurtful, and would either want to pay you back or would burst out in tears and role play to the hilt. All in response to "It is your fault, look at what you made me do, if you hadn't done that, I wouldn't have...."

I took everything personal. I used my thoughts to beat myself up royally and I used your words as I perceived them to be, which were never validated, to put myself down, or I would hit back and put you down to make me feel better.

An ugly world, an unkind place, and I am glad I don't have to go there any more. I don't have to buy into other people's game and I don't have to role play and be someone I am not.

I had to heal those thoughts. I had to change the thinking. I had to allow myself to heal and forgive myself. Often it was my disease acting out. Many times it was all I knew and what I heard growing up and didn't know my thoughts were outdated.

I had to learn to allow others to have their thoughts. I just had to learn not to buy into them and give them power over me. It was important to not give up my own power. Empowerment that I didn't know I had.

ave found over the years that I have learned to hesitate and meditate before I speak. That is a real departure from the old me, even in recovery, I wanted to tell people, who it should be done!

For me to walk away and not react was and is a big step for me. I still may come back and share my own experience, strength, and hope. It just won't be done with resentment and anger. I have always been a person who has believed in standing up for what she believes in. For too many years, mum was the word and it all festered inside, only to explode in anger and hate. I am a firm believer in it isn't about what you say, it is about how you say it. When you let go of the anger and always having to be right, things can be stated in truth. Agreeing to disagree was a wonderful tool in recovery.

Put your thoughts, dreams, and ideas out to the Universe and see what you get back.

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Today's Reminder - November 21, 2010

In handling my difficulties, what's important isn't how much time I have in Al-Anon but how willing I am in implement the tools of recovery. While Al-Anon doesn't grant immunity from problems, it does offer a healthy way to deal with them.

"Troubles are often the tools by which God fashions us for better things." H. W. Beecher

From Courage to Change (Al-Anon)

Sometimes when I am caught up in life, it is sometimes difficult to realize what is happening and takes a while to recognize something for what it is like self-pity and resentment because they are familiar feelings and places I have found myself in far too many times. The nice thing is I recognize them much quicker and don't stay stuck in the feelings. Even nicer is the fact that I can feel the feelings so that I can let them go instead of stuffing them.

Even in today, after several 24 hours of recovery, I still need to pick up the phone and call my sponsor. The special person that allows me to share and be myself.

What I needed to recognize was that things are different in today. Today I take my Higher Power with me into situations and I no longer walk with fear, I don't have to figure things out by myself. I am granted freedom of choice. The greatest choice is to change my mind and choose again.

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But if any of you lacketh wisdom, let him ask of God, who giveth to all liberally and unbraideth not; and it shall be given him. But let him ask in faith, nothing doubting; for he that doubteth is like the surge of the sea driven by the wind and tossed. For let not that man think that he shall receive anything of the Lord; a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways.

- James I: 5-8

The only way to find true help and support is to take things to my Higher Power.

Turn things over and leave them there, walk in faith.

Fearing change....

I love the acronym: F.E.A.R. = False Evidence Appearing Real

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Acceptance for me is the key to recovery. If I can't accept my disease, I will surely relapse. If I can't accept my dis-ease, I will continually look outside of myself to make me feel better instead of going within and accepting what I find there, in the moment.

Acceptance for me is always about in the moment, in today. Accepting what is, knowing it is subject to change.

I had someone tell me that acceptance had no part of recovery because it wasn't mentioned in the first 164 pages of the Big Book. To me this is total HOG WASH! For me, acceptance is a necessary attitude I must find in order to take Step One - 100%.

Acceptance is one of the principles of the First Step. It is also part of the grieving process. So whenever we go through change, which is a grieving process, we need to find that acceptance.

So much of what is in today is a result of choices made. I need to accept that what I put out, I get back, unfortunately, sometimes it is 10 fold. Which is good if I make a good choice but not so good when I don't make healthy ones.

I also need to accept the fact that when I see something negative in someone else, it is a reflection from something within myself. Step Ten keeps me honest. With that honesty, comes acceptance and surrender to a Higher Power.

The Serenity Prayer says it all for me. I am so glad I can't wear it out. It is the wisdom to know the difference that takes practice, practice, practice.

When I can accept me, I can live in faith instead of fear.

Early in recovery, I asked my spiritual advisor what I had to change and his response was "Everything!"

This was hard to accept. I thought I was a pretty good person once I no longer had the drugs in my system. I no longer drank so what was my problem?

What I had to learn to accept was that the problem was not the pills, the alcohol, or the men in my life, the problem was me?

What I had to change was my way of thinking. I had to accept that it had become warped by this dis-ease and I had to find a new way of living.

I had to accept that I could no longer look out of myself for people, places and things to make me feel better. I had to go within and I had to connect with a Higher Power.

I had to accept a Higher Power. It meant I had to accept a God as I saw Him, this God that I had been so angry with. This God who I thought all my life was going to never accept me because I had done all the things that the 'church' said I should do.

I had to learn to accept the people around me. Accept where they were at and recognize that either they didn't have a program or they did and were not using it, at least not to my way of thinking.

But the hardest to accept was me and what I found on that journey inward. When I got honest, I had to learn to surrender it all to my Higher Power and accept what I found there in order to recover.

It has been a process. I has taken practice, practice, practice. I had to accept on a daily basis that I can't take this journey alone, that just because I worked on something once before, it will come back again, and hardest of all was to accept was my humanness. The workaholic, the perfectionist, the know-it-all, the caretaker, screaming shrew, the shopaholic, overeater, the codependent, the gambler, and the addict, had to change. I was one of the 'really' sick ones.

I had to accept that I am still a work in progress.

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Principles For Better Living

Keep it simple.
Stop trying to please everybody.
Start pleasing yourself.
Cultivate gratitude.
Carve out an hour a day for solitude.
Don't be afraid of your passion.
Cherish your dreams.
Express love every day.
Keep your house picked up.
Don't over schedule.
Strive for realistic deadlines.
Never make a promise you can't keep.
Allow an extra half hour for everything you do.
Create quiet surroundings at home and at work.
Go to bed at nine o'clock twice a week.
Always carry something interesting to read.
Breathe -deeply and often.
Move -walk, dance, run, find a sport you enjoy.
Drink pure spring water. Lots of it.
Eat only when you are hungry.
It it's not delicious, don't eat it.
Be instead of do.
Set aside one day a week for rest and renewal.
Laugh more often.
Luxuriate in your senses.
Always opt for comfort.
Let Mother Nature nurture.
Don't answer the telephone during dinner.
Stay away from negative people.
Don't squander precious resources: time, creative energy, emotion.
Nurture friendships.
Approach problems as challenges.
Honor your aspirations.
Set achievable goals.
Surrender expectations.
Savor beauty.
Create boundaries.
Don't worry, be happy.
Remember: happiness is a living emotion.
Care for your soul.
Search for your authentic self until you find him/her.
Begin and end each day with prayer, meditation, or reflection.

Author Unknown

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An act of overindulging; indulgence in too much; pleasure or consumption taken in excess of what is satisfying or necessary.

Wiktionary


Had this thought when I was posting in the OA and realized how much it applies to all addictions.

I had no knowledge of the fact that I didn't metabolize alcohol like normal people do. I didn't know that when I had that first drink, it stuck around and was there when I had my second and third and what I got was compounded interest.

The first time I drank socially, I went to the Trinidad Club in Toronto and had eight rum and coke. I was happy-go-lucky. Danced down the walkway to my friend's house, walked a straight line and if I remember rightly, I was singing. I was 21 years old. When I came into recovery, I was told that eight drinks wasn't social drinking. That social drinking was only one or two! I had no concept of this. Over the years, it took more and more to bring me up to where and what I thought I need to function. It was my coping tool. It was my best friend, only to become my enemy and my worst nightmare.

In the end, my social drinking became, "If you are going to have a drink, so shall I! In fact, most times I didn't wait for you to indulge, I was quite happy to start without you.

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Friend or Foe???
 

Drugs were my best friend, or so I thought. They helped me to cope with life. Then they became my enemy, I got to a place where I no longer wanted to live.

Today I have a life. Just for today I choose not to use people, place and things. Just for today, I choose to utilize the people, place and things that my God puts in my path to show me the way to stay clean.

Words to Live By

Accept that some days you're the pigeon, and some days you're the statue.

Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.

Always read stuff that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it.

Drive carefully. It's not only cars that can be recalled by their maker.

Eat a live toad in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you for the rest of the day.

If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.

If you lend someone $20, and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.

It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.

Never buy a car you can't push.

Never put both feet in your mouth at the same time, because then you don't have a leg to stand on.

Nobody cares if you can't dance well. just get up and dance.

The early worm gets eaten by the bird, so sleep late.

When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

Birthdays are good for you; the more you have, the longer you live.

Ever notice that the people who are late are often much jollier than the people who have to wait for them?

If ignorance is bliss, why aren't more people happy?

You may be only one person in the world, but you may also be the world to one person.

Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once.

Don't cry because it's over; smile because it happened. We could learn a lot from crayons: some are sharp, some are pretty, some are dull, some have weird names, and all are different colors but they all have to learn to live in the same box.

A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour.

Happiness comes through doors you didn't even know you left open.

Have an awesome day, and know that someone has thought about you today.

Think this is a rerun but definitely a good reminder...

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Positive Self Esteem by Increased Self Acceptance

I am a person of value and worth. I was born with this value. My worth does not decline throughout my life; it remains the same. Only my feelings about my worth can change. My value and worth is the same as anyone else s's.

I am not my behavior. If I fail at something, it does not mean that I am a failure. I will always make mistakes because I am just a person. I can try to do better but I will sometimes make wrong or selfish decisions. I need not feel guilty about old past failures. I accept myself even though I make mistakes.

I cannot control or change the past. It does not help me to worry about my past and it certainly does not help me to punish myself by dwelling on past mistakes, making myself feel guilty or calling myself names. I acted in the past only in light of my knowledge and state of mind at the time. Circumstances may also have affected my behavior. My worth is not based on how many or how few mistakes I have made.

I cannot control other people. They may not treat me as I would like but that may have little to do with who I am. Other people do not have to meet my expectations. My self worth is not based on how other people feel about me. There will always be some people who reject me or dislike me but my value remains the same. I will focus on those people who do like and respect me. Other people's feelings do not control my feelings.

It is okay for me to like myself. It does not hurt anyone else for me to have improved self-esteem. Liking myself does not make me arrogant or conceited. In fact, if my self-esteem is better, I will be more calm and pleasant with others. I give myself permission to like myself just the way that I am.

It is okay for me to make and effort to fulfill my own needs. My needs are as real and legitimate as anyone's. It is alright for me to sometimes: indulge, make mistakes, wast time, not fulfill other's expectations, be lazy, change my mind, dream, be inadequate and present a poor image. I give myself permission to be just a person with all of the weaknesses, failures and moments of selfishness that go along with being human.

I feel warm and loving toward myself. I approve of myself. I am allowed to be less then perfect. I recognize that no one is exactly like me. I can always try to improve myself, but for now, I accept myself for who I am today.

Original Source Unknown

Suggested as a daily reading

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Sleeping is a sign of depression. Depression is also a part of grief. Being in early recovery, you go through a stage of depression, and as you go through more changes in recovery, letting go of people, places and things, you will experience more.

The knowingness and awareness of it will help you adjust in your new life. So many people go to a doctor and say, "I am depressed!" They are given a pill with no thought of the root cause. A chemical imbalance needs medication, and depression brought on my grief does not. The only medication it needs is a Twelve Step Program and some MEDITATION with your Higher Power.

I think that is why people fight "change" in their life because they don't like the process, yet when you get to the other side, the time and effort has always been worth it for me, especially when I accept what "is" in the moment.

I am continually going through grief as a result of my fibromyalgia, some of that is my trouble accepting that I cannot do what I want to do, when I want to do it! Which means I need to take it to my Higher Power for an attitude adjustment. I am going through the loss of my aunt who just passed away. Not just my aunt herself, but the things I use to do with her. i.e. picking up the phone and asking how you bake this or that, having lunch with her, etc.

Written in 2004

Sleeping is a sign of depression. Depression is also a part of grief. Being in early recovery, you go through a stage of depression, and as you go through more changes in recovery, letting go of people, places and things, you will experience more.

The knowingness and awareness of it will help you adjust in your new life. So many people go to a doctor and say, "I am depressed!" They are given a pill with no thought of the root cause. A chemical imbalance needs medication, and depression brought on my grief does not. The only medication it needs is a Twelve Step Program and some MEDITATION with your Higher Power.

I think that is why people fight "change" in their life because they don't like the process, yet when you get to the other side, the time and effort has always been worth it for me, especially when I accept what "is" in the moment.

I am continually going through grief as a result of my fibromyalgia, some of that is my trouble accepting that I cannot do what I want to do, when I want to do it! Which means I need to take it to my Higher Power for an attitude adjustment. I am going through the loss of my aunt who just passed away. Not just my aunt herself, but the things I use to do with her. i.e. picking up the phone and asking how you bake this or that, having luch with her, etc.

I have a friend who relapsed as a result of his pain and now he is back in the program grieving the loss of his drug of choice, which took away the pain, but so much more from his life. In today, he is grieving the loss of his leg which was amputated three days ago as a result of not taking care of his diabetes. We abuse our bodies for years and often when we sober up, we find out the results of that neglect. He has had heart and leg surgery several times over the last few years.

Frog means cleansing and Dog means loyal friend, so I will say, "Keep up the good work my clean and sober friends, keep doing the do things, one day at a time!"

They say don't make any major decisions in your first year. i.e. If you want to move that is okay, just remember you take you with you. Geographical cures are a part of recovery, often they don't work, it depends on the motive and intent behind them.

I have a friend who relapsed as a result of his pain and now he is back in the program grieving the loss of his drug of choice, which took away the pain, but so much more from his life. In today, he is grieving the loss of his leg which was amputated three days ago as a result of not taking care of his diabetes. We abuse our bodies for years and often when we sober up, we find out the results of that neglect. He has had heart and leg surgery several times over the last few years.

Frog means cleansing and Dog means loyal friend, so I will say, "Keep up the good work my clean and sober friend, keep doing the do things, one day at a time!"

If you want to move that is okay, just remember you take you with you. Geographical cures are a part of recovery, often they don't work, it depends on the motive and intent behind them.

Depression can keep us in our disease and the 12 Steps are applicable because we have so many losses and change in our life. It is normal. Better to work the steps than popping a pill, unless it is clinical depression. Even if you need medication for your depression, the program helps you to live with it.

Do you belong or do you just take up some space on a chair and just come before the meeting starts and leave when it ends. (There is nothing wrong with that if that is all you can do, but there is no much more) For me to belong to a group, it means extending your hand to another member, to member from another group, and to a newcomer. To belong is helping setting up the group by helping making coffee, putting up the chairs and taking them down, putting out literature and putting it away, standing at the door and greeting people as they come and saying goodbye as they leave. One of my favourite is asking, "Do you do hugs?"

Service is done by rotation of leadership. No service position should last more than two years. Do you volunteer? Do you unvolunteer and allow someone else to have an opportunity to do service too, to get the experience that helped you. Are you willing to share what was so freely given to you?

The meeting starts when you get there and ends when you leave. Are you missing out on the meeting before the meeting and the meeting after the meeting?

They say there is no such thing as a dumb question, only those not asked. How can you know what you haven't been taught. Ask a long-timer, they will guide you as to what you need to do to belong to a group and become a true member of the fellowship.

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When we come into recovery, things can be very overwhelming and it is so important to stay in today, and just live in the moment. I had to learn about the short and long view of things. It is strange I often had short view and couldn't see the end result or the whole picture and yet there were times I couldn't see what was right in front of my face.

I could often see the long view, but didn't know how to get there. Because things seemed unattainable, I would do nothing not knowing that it takes small steps and that I had to learn to crawl before I could walk.

For me, it is good that I can see both sides of the street. Having been raised in an alcoholic home, lived an abusive alcoholic marriage, and having the disease of alcoholism myself, even though I have been in recovery for a few 24-hours, I have been there, done it, wore the T-shirt and don't want to go back there. I don't want to look back, although it is sometimes necessary to heal in today, I need to live in the moment and not project into the future or lament over my past.

I didn't get this way overnight, and the program isn't a quick fix. All I am asked to do is try to do the best I can for this 24 hours. The support is there. I had to surround myself with sober friends, detach from (in my case family and friends), until I could get a firm foundation and allow myself to detox, get a grip of the program and how it works, got myself a sponsor to call, and friends who could be there for support. It wasn't about next week, a month away, next year, it was about today. Just for today, I choose to stay clean and sober.

The whole picture, making my space clean and safe for me. A safe place to put me in and my belongs in. A place to go, where I was safe to heal, change and grow. That was the picture that I wanted to see, someone free from the bondage of addiction.

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For me, this says it all. This is a spiritual program. Each day I get up I invite my God into my day, I ask for help and He puts people, places and things in my path to show me how to live in today clean and sober. He will guide my thoughts, direct my path and it is up to me to build a working relationship with the God of my understanding.

I used people, places, and things all of my life. I looked outside of myself for something to make me feel better, when in fact all I had to do was look within, and the answers were revealed to me, a day at a time.

The sad thing is, that sometimes I didn't always trust that person, vision, thought, or guidance, and I discounted it forgetting that it was God given and it was for my Higher Good. If I doubt myself, I am doubting my God.

An important slogan to apply to my life to maintain my sobriety (soundness of mind). The first word is the key, "Live" my own life and allow other to live their lives. For so many years I lived my life through others, put my life on hold for others, and I just existed instead of living. I was just marking time, not realing livig my life to the fullest.

Some one asked me what made me happy and I didn't know. I thought what they wanted made me happy. I told myself, if they where happy, I was happy.

I think I posted something like this somewhere else not to long ago. It is surprising how much denial we can live in when we don't want to face the truth.

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In regard to a Touchstone quote posted in 2010

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Like this, it is an old reading and the link will take you to a new link for today, but that is okay too.

http://www.hazelden.org/web/public/t...iew?catId=1902

I needed to read the old one. Things happen as they should, it isn't good for me to try to make them happen for the time is right. Just because I want them to be, doesn't make them right. It is God's time, not mine.

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Certainly can identify with the feelings. I am guilty of thinking, "Oh what is the use!" Then I tend to give up on myself at which a time, God and I have to have a little talk. I have a difficult time with swelling, not just in my feet, but all over. Right now I can't put on my boots to go out even if it wasn't storming. With the swelling, I think and see fat and it can put my in a hellish mind frame. I don't want to eat because I am fat. Bloat and swelling aren't fat. I have to remind myself it is part of my fibromyalgia.

http://www.animated-gifs.eu/mammals-bears-food/0013.gif

A post from 2009 on another site

It is good to go back and hear myself. When I was at the doctor's the other day I was disappointed to find that I was 10 lbs. over where I had it in my mind that I was. I thought I had lost weight, and then immediately got angry and said, "It is all this swelling!!!" Which in truth, was true because it was one of my better days.

http://www.animated-gifs.eu/insects-...flies/0201.gif

It is my eating that can take my thinking to hell and back!

"If life is a bowl of cherries, what am I doing in the pits?"

-- Erma Bombeck

When I saw this, I thought it read, "What am I doing with the pits?"

Both are worth thought and require action on my part. The 12 Steps are applicable to both.

Am I practicing the principles in all my affairs? Do I work the Steps into my daily life? Do I just think program in meetings and leave my program at the door when I go home, to work, or out into the community?

Do I think, oh woe is me? I am an alcoholic. I am so hard done by, forgetting that I should be grateful that I have found this new way of living. If I wasn't an alcoholic, I wouldn't have known that there was a chance at recovery.

Do I sometimes need to eat my words? Do I give others a second thought? Am I so caught up in self that I don't have time for others?

https://sp.yimg.com/ib/th?id=HN.6080...7&pid=15.1&P=0

Sorry if some of these are repeats. I post on three sites and in different sections, and have senior moments and forget what is where.

Really like this, if I don't think or I am not aware of my past, I just might continue to act out in my disease. Like the Five As, I need to be aware I have a problem, I have to admit to it, I have to accept it so I can take action to change my attitude, and/or change my attitude so I can take action.

Another thing I found was that I can't base my future on my past, that person isn't any more. In today, I take my God with me.

https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/i...OeHtNDVJa8Qjhj

We never know what is going to happen each day, we never know what is coming our way, and what we need to handle. Life on life's terms, means stay clean and sober, using the Steps and going to our Higher Power for Good Orderly Direction.

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This past week to ten days, has been a prime example of this. So grateful my God is Comforter, Creator, Master, Teacher, Counsellor, and all things that I need in today.

http://www.animated-gifs.eu/mammals-dogs/0214.gif

The only difference between stumbling blocks
and stepping stones is how we use them.

Founds this link, an interesting and informative read.

http://positiveattitude.entireyellowpages.com/51586.php

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Hooks which keep you boundary-less in relationships

1. Lack of Individual Identity

Maybe you are hooked by the irrational belief that: "I am a nobody without a somebody in my life." If you are, you maintain no boundaries with your relationship partners because you are very dependent in getting your identity from being with your partners. You are willing to do whatever it takes to make the relationships happen, even if you have to give up your health, money, security, identity, intelligence, spiritual beliefs, family, country, job, community, friends, values, honor and self-respect. The rational message needed to establish healthy boundaries from this hook is: "I am a somebody, just by being who I am. I am OK just the way I am, even if I do not have my relationship partners in my life. My value and worth as a person is not dependent on having one or more significant others in my life. It is better for me to be on my own and healthy than to be with my relationship partners and be sick intellectually, emotionally and/or physically. I will work diligently with my relationship partners to correct this faulty thinking which has made me too dependent. By being more my own person, my relationships will flourish and grow healthier."



2. Scarcity Principle

Maybe you are hooked by the scarcity principle of feeling happiness: "because the current status of our relationship is better than anything we have ever had before." This is a common problem for people recovering from low self-esteem who have faced trials and challenges in relationships in the past. The problem is that the current status of your relationships might be better than what you have experienced in the past, but they might not really be as healthy and intimate as the intimate relationship described earlier. You may be so happy with your relationships' current functioning that you are willing to give all of yourself intellectually, emotionally and physically with no regard for what you need to retain for yourself so that you do not lose your identity in these relationships. You may be in a recovery program like AA, Alanon, NA, CODA, ACOA etc. You may be in a Bible Study Group or some other form of spiritual renewal self-help group. You may have a support system and a plan of recovery for personal and spiritual growth. You may find that in your relationships you have no time to do the "recovery or growth activities" of maintaining contact with your support system, going to 12 Step or other group meetings, or reading recovery literature or scripture. You may find it hard to maintain your new behavioral and emotional commitment to personal and spiritual growth in your relationships. If this is true, then your relationships may not be supportive for your personal and spiritual growth. Your relationshps may not be healthy for you no matter how good they look or how happy you are in them. If in your relationships you have no time to spend with your spouse, children, family or long term friends then it is not healthy no matter how happy you are in it. If in your relationships you have no time, energy or resources to put into your career, education or current job then they are not healthy for you no matter how happy you are in them. If in your relationships you are finding it difficult to maintain your own spirituality and connection with God then they are not healthy no matter how happy you feel in them. Relationships which require that you sacrifice all of you for the sake of the happiness you feel, in them, are not healthy intimate relationships. Healthy intimate relationships allow you to make time, space and allowance for you to focus on yourself, your own needs, your spouse, your children, your family, your friends, your recovery program, your support system, your career, your education, your spiritual beliefs and your personal integrity, individuality and identity. The rational message needed to establish healthy boundaries from this hook is: "I will focus on my needs, my identity, my individuality and my personal integrity in my relationships. I will set aside my time, resources and energy to give to my spouse, my children, my family, my friends, my support system, my recovery program, my spirituality, my career, my education and my community involvement while maintaining healthy intimate relationships with my relationship partners. I will insist that I have the time, resources and energy to focus on all aspects of my life in my relationships. I will not become complacent in my relationships just because there are no conflicts or crisis in them at the time. I will work with my relationship partners to insure that the health of our relationships is ever growing and increasing."



3. Guilt

Maybe you are hooked by irrational guilt that you must think, feel and act in ways to insure that your relationships are preserved, secured and nurtured no matter what personal expense it takes out of you. You feel guilty if the your relationship partners are not succeeding or thriving without your personal resources, energy, money, time and effort going in to making such success happen. You have a problem of feeling over-responsible for the welfare of your relationship partners and cannot allow your partners to accept personal responsibility, to make choices and live with the consequences of these choices. This irrational guilt is a driving motivation to keep you tearing down your boundaries so that you will always be available to your relationship partners at any time, in any place, for whatever reason your relationship partners "need" you. The rational message needed to establish healthy boundaries from this hook is: "My relationship partners and I are responsible for accepting personal responsibility for our own lives and to accept the consequences for the choices we make in taking care of our own lives. I am not responsible for the outcomes which result from the choices and decisions which my relationship partners make. My relationship partners and I are free to make our own decisions with no one forcing us to make bad ones which will result in negative consequences to ourselves if they should occur."



4. Inability to Differentiate Love from Sympathy

Maybe you are hooked by the inability to differentiate the difference between love and sympathy or compassion for your relationship partners. You find yourself feeling sorry for your relationship partners and the warm feelings which this generates makes you think that you are in love with them. The bigger the problems your relationship partners have, the bigger the "love" seems to you. Because the problems can get bigger and more complex, they succeed in hooking you to lower your boundaries so that you begin to give more and more of yourself to your "pitiable" relationship partners out of the "love" you feel. The rational message needed to establish healthy boundaries from this hook is: "It is OK to have sympathy and compassion for my relationship partners, but that does not mean that I have to sacrifice my life to "save" or "rescue" my partners. Sympathy and compassion are emotions I know well and I will work hard to differentiate them from what love is. When I feel sympathy and compassion for my relationship partners, I will remind myself that it is not the same as loving them. The ability to feel sympathy and compassion for another human being is a nice quality of mine and I will be sure to use it in a healthy and non-emotionally hooked way in the future in my relationships."



5. Helplessness and Neediness of Relationship Partners

Maybe you get hooked by the neediness and helplessness of your relationship partners. You find yourself hooked when your partners get into self-pity, "poor me" and "how tough life has been." You find yourself weak when your relationship partners demonstrates an inability to solve personal problems. You find yourself wanting to teach and instruct, when your relationship partners demonstrate or admit ignorance of how to solve problems. You find yourself hooked by verbal and non-verbal cues which cry out to you to "help" your relationship partners even though your partners have the competence to solve the problem on their own. You find yourself feeling warmth, caring and nurturing feelings which help you tear down any shred of boundaries you once had. These sad, weak, distraught, lost, confused and befuddled waifs are so needy that you lose all concept of space and time as you begin to give and give and give. It feels so good. The rational message needed to establish healthy boundaries from this hook is: "No one is helpless without first learning the advantages of being helpless. Helplessness is a learned behavior which is used to manipulate me to give of my resources, energy, time, effort and money to fix. I am a good person if I do not try to fix and take care of my relationship partners when my partners are acting helpless. I cannot establish healthy intimate relationships with my relationship partners if I am trying to fix or take care of them all of the time. I need to put more energy into fixing and taking care of myself if I find myself being hooked by my relationship partners' helplessness."
Continued>>>







11-26-2005, 04:01 AM #2
bluidkiti
Guest


Posts: n/a Re: Hooks which keep you boundary-less in relationships

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6. Need to be Needed

Maybe you get hooked by the sense of being depended upon or needed by your relationship partners. There is no reason to feel responsible for your relationship partners if they let you know that they are dependent upon and need you for their life to be successful and fulfilled. This is over‑dependency and is unhealthy. It is impossible to have healthy intimacy with overdependent people because there is no give and take. Your relationship partners could be parasites sucking you dry of everything you have intellectually, emotionally and physically. You get nothing in return except the "good feelings" of doing something for your relationship partners. You get no real healthy nurturing, rather you feel the weight of your relationship partners on your shoulders, neck and back. You give and give of yourself to address the needs of your relationship partners and you have nothing left to give to yourself. The rational message needed to establish healthy boundaries from this hook is: "It is unhealthy for me to be so overly depended upon by my relationship partners who are adults. There is a need for me to be clear what I am willing and not willing to do for my relationship partners. There is a need for my relationship partners to become more independent from me so that I can maintain my own sense of identity, worth and personhood. It would be better for me to let go of the need to be needed than to allow my relationship partners to continue to have such dependency on me. I am only responsible for taking care of myself. Human adults are responsible to accept personal responsibility for their own lives. Supporting my relationship partners intellectually, emotionally and physically where I have nothing left to give to myself is unhealthy and not required in healthy relationships and I will be ALERT to when I am doing this and try to stop it immediately."



7. Belief that Time will Make it Better

Maybe you get hooked by the belief that: "If I give it enough time things will change to be the way I want them to be." You have waited a long time to have healthy intimate relationships, you rationalize: "Don't give up on them too soon." Since you are not sure how to have them or how they feel, you rationalize that maybe what the relationships need is more time to become more healthy and intimate. You find yourself giving more and more of yourself and waiting longer and longer for something good to happen and yet things never get better. You find that your wait goes from being counted by days, weeks or months to years. Time passes and things really never get better. What keeps hooking you are those fleeting moments when the relationships approximate what you would like them to be. These fleeting moments feel like centuries and they are sufficient to keep you holding on. The rational message needed to establish healthy boundaries from this hook is: "It is unhealthy for me to sacrifice large portions of my life, invested in relationships which are not going anywhere. It is unhealthy for me to hold on to the belief that things will change if they have not in 1 or more years. It is OK to set time limits in my relationships such as: if in 3 months or 6 months things do not get to be intimately healthier then I am getting out of them or we will need to seek professional help to work it out. It is OK to put time demands on my relationships so that I do not waste away my life waiting for something which in all probability will never happen. It is not OK for me to blow out of proportion those fleeting moments in my relationships which make me believe that there is anything more in them than there really is."



8. Belief that It Must be All of My Fault that there are Problems in the Relationships

Maybe you get hooked by the belief that: "If I change myself more things will change to become more like I want them to be in my relationships." You rationalize that maybe the reason things are not getting healthier and more intimate is because you need to change more to be the person your relationship partners wants you to be. You feel blamed and pointed out by your relationship partners as the reason why things are not healthier or more intimate in your relationships. You find yourself having to defend yourself from attacks from your relationship partners for "not being good enough" or "doing enough" to make the relationships work. You find yourself with a mounting list of expectations, duties or responsibilities, given you by your partners, which must be accomplished if the relationships are ever to become what you want them to be. You find yourself needing to change the ways you think, feel, act, dress, talk, look, eat, work, cook, entertain, have fun, socialize, etc before you will be "good enough" for your relationships to work. You find that you will have to basically give up "who you are" for "who your partners want you to be" if the relationships are ever to work. You find yourself hooked by the challenge to change and you find yourself working harder and harder to effect the change. What keeps you hooked is the affirmation and reinforcement you get from your relationship partners when you effect a small change. The only problem is that there is always something else identified which needs to be changed after the last change has been accomplished. You are in a never ending loop of needing to change and unfortunately there never seems to be an end to it. The rational message needed to establish healthy boundaries for this hook is: "I have to be real to myself and be the person I am rather than to be the person my relationship partners want me to be. It is not healthy for me to give up my personhood and identity to please my partners just to maintain our relationships. I have a right to my own tastes, likes and dislikes, personal style, beliefs, values, attitudes etc. I am in control of my own thinking, feelings and actions. I will not allow my relationship partners to take control of my basic rights."

9. Fear of Negative Outcomes for Relationship Partners

Maybe you get hooked by the fear of the possible negative future outcome if you are not deeply involved in taking care of and fixing your relationship partners. You may be aware of the hooks which keep you boundary-less with your partners. Yet you are afraid to LET GO of the control you have with your relationship partners for fear something very negative might happen to them. Maybe you fear that your relationship partners would become: homeless, hungry, jobless, poor, lonely, scared, go to jail or worse yet die if you do not continue to fix and take care of their needs. This fear of the possible negative future outcomes is so debilitating, that it feels better being sucked dry intellectually, emotionally and physically than to LET GO and watch your relationship partners suffer these feared awful negative outcomes. You find yourself powerless to keep from doing the healthy thing because of the intensity of this fear. You have become a prisoner in the prison of these relationships. You have become a hostage of very powerful, needy, helpless, manipulative "hostage takers." You are a possession of your relationship partners. You find yourself doing all you are asked to insure that these possible negative dreaded outcomes do not happen. You are being emotionally blackmailed and may even have heard threats of suicide if you say you want to change or get out of the relationships the way they are. The rational message needed to establish healthy boundaries from this hook is: "I am only responsible for my life. No one can make me responsible for my relationship partners' lives. I can choose to feel responsible for my relationship partners' lives, but I cannot control or determine the outcome of their lives no matter how hard I try. I am powerless to control other people, places, things and conditions. The only thing I can control is my own thinking, feeling and actions. I need to hand my relationship partners' problems and needs and the outcomes of their lives over to God. I cannot carry my relationship partners' possible negative future outcomes on my body or I will experience failed emotional and physical health. It is OK for me to expect my relationship partners to accept personal responsibility for their own lives. It is OK to require my relationship partners to accept the consequences for their own actions, choices and decisions."



10. Idealism or Fantasy Thinking

Maybe you are hooked by the fantasy or ideal about how it is supposed to be. You have an ideal, dream or image in your mind of how relationships are supposed to be or how they should be and you have a difficult time accepting them the way they really are. You work hard at making your relationships approximate your idealized fantasy. You put a great deal of time, energy and resources into making them become a reality. Unfortunately the more you give and give, the fantasy never becomes the reality you are wishing for. The pull to make the fantasy become real is very powerful. You seem brainwashed into believing that it is possible even though all of your efforts have not made it happen, after years and years of effort on your part. You get hooked by the delusion of the fulfillment of the fantasy and live as if the fantasy has become reality. You are sometimes so out of touch with reality that you appear to be psychotic to others when you discuss your relationships. They know they are not real and in some cases do not even closely approximate what you are saying. You keep pouring your resources, energy and time into empty pits which seem to never get filled. You become obsessed into acting and looking like the fantasy is real. You get hooked into waiting for the "big pay off" down the road if you just stick with your relationships. You remain loyal to the belief that it will happen one day. "Wake up and get off the fantasy train before it runs off the track!" you hear people saying but ignore their warnings and keep blindly on, in search of your quest. The rational message needed to establish healthy boundaries from this hook is: "I must accept reality the way it is rather than how I want it to be. I will give my support system, in my recovery or spiritual renewal program, permission to call me on it if I am hooked into fantasy relationships and lose myself in them. I will work hard to stay reality based and keep myself from losing my objectivity and contact with the way things really are. I will make every effort to accept my relationships the way they are rather than how I want them to be. I am a human and subject to making mistakes and failing and I will forgive myself if I make a mistake in my efforts to establish healthy intimate relationships with my relationship partners. Once I give up the delusion that things are the way they are supposed to be, I will work with my partners to try to correct the problems in our relationships."

Original Source Unknown To Me

===========================

The topic at my meeting today was "Live and let live." I can't live my own life if I don't have boundaries. They get blurred, stepped on, stepped over, and I have to continually reinforce, set, and reinstate them.

Found this on another site, which I had snagged from Tammy's old site.

We can be there for others. We can't do it for them, we can't fix them, we can't enable them, but we can share our own experience, strength, and hope. We can share what worked for us. That doesn't mean it will work for them, but it breaks the ice or any barrier and allows them to open up and give them the courage to share and recognize the fact that they are not alone. A burden shared is a burden lessened. A secret hidden is a one that festers and grows.

We can only help those who are willing to change. We can't shove the program down their throat, but we can walk our talk and hopefully, they will be attracted to what we have and want it for themselves.

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A good reminder, my spiritual adviser said that it was okay to be a caretaker as long as I remembered to take care of me first. I always focused on others so I didn't have to focus on me, although I didn't consciously realize that is what I was doing.

To my way of thinking, they had the problem not me. On close inspection, I was just as sick, if not sicker than the "A" in my life. I was just as addicted to my controlling ways and I used my "A" to escape 'life' the way he used alcohol and drugs. I am powerless over people, places, and things.

GET OUT OF YOURSELF

I've always been a runner trying to run away from life,

Running away from challenges, and any pain or strife.

I'd end up in a brand new town, but wouldn't be there long,

My problems would start up again, because I'd brought myself along.

I'd pack my bags and wander, always searching but never free,

Until one day I realized- the problem was with me.

After all those years of running, with alcohol and pain,

I'd finally hit my bottom, and I KNEW I was insane.

I began to go to meetings; my mind was in a daze,

It didn't really make much sense, but I listened anyway.

So I saved up mental scraps of advice, and put them on a shelf,

Until one day I pulled one out: It read," GET OUT OF YOURSELF"

I thought, "If I keep on thinking about me, I'm going to end up dead.

Maybe for once, what I'll try doing, is think of you instead!

They told me I had to give it away, it's better to give than receive.

You can't keep sobriety all for yourself, and so I began to believe.

So I joined a group and helped set up and stayed around late at the end,

And whenever a newcomer walked through the door, I just tried to be a friend.

This happened a number of years ago, and I hope that I'm here to stay.

And I keep on praying for the grace of God, so that SELF doesn't get in the way.

I'll always be grateful for the scrap of advice at the back of a dusty shelf,

And I'll always remember what the Old Timer said:

"Ye must get out of yourself!"

- from The Five As

I embrace change in today. I have gone through several transitions in my life. I looked back on my life in recovery, and look at the cycles prior to recovery and what happened at that time. They say we are on a 7 year cycle.

i.e. I had issues at school, 14 was one of the biggest and most difficult times in my life. At 21 I was married, and at 27, I started on my party time and my father said, "You were such a quiet young thing, now you are making up for lost time. I was divorced at 25, and at 26 started dating. At 34, I remarried again to a guy who was more abusive than my first husband was, yet I stayed in that marriage for 7 years. At 41, I was divorced again and made the decision I needed to quit drinking. I didn't know about AA and I ended up substituting with pills. At 48, I was at my rock bottom, moved into the YWCA, what I call the transition, people are coming and going looking for a safe place and a new start. I came into recovery in 49, and worked with the social worker who introduced me to a recovery house and I found AA.

At 7 years sober, I found a new spiritual outlook and found that my God had many plans and good things in mind for me. I got more in touch with myself and it was a real growth period. At 21 years sober, I had to deal with a lot of health issues and found that no matter what, I don't have to use. I had a lot of web sites and I had to over come an addiction to building them. I liked making them but had trouble maintaining them. I ended up deleting them all. They were a great help spiritually for me as recovery friend sent me a lot of material, which I have posted on other people's sites. I had to have a place to put things. I went through a real big grieving process when I deleted them, because MSN closed down their sites and I posted them on another site.

So I am on my third cycle, and I know that my God still has plans for me. I am 73 years old, but as they say, it is only a number and most day I don't feel that old.

My God has been very good to me. He has seen me through a lot of pain. I went back to school and got involved in a lot of service over the years. I have been truly blessed. I am so glad I have this site to come to.

If you are in the center of AA, you won't fall off the edge.


Directions to AA: Just go straight to hell and make a U-turn.

AA: Being a part of something is more important than being the center of attention.

AA is the only place whre you can walk into a room full of strangers and reminisce.
A.A. Romance......The odds are good......but the goods are odd.

AA: Look for a way in; not for a way out.

AA: We are not reformed drunks, but informed alcoholics.

AA has no fixed address--you can take it with you.

AA: We're here for a reason, not for the season.

AA Groups: An AA group will be judged by the worst behavior of its members.

AA Groups: When you clean up after your group, you leave the signature of AA behind you.

AA is a check-up from the neck up.

Before I came into AA I was dead, but I did not know enough to lie down.

AA is not a sentence, it is a reprieve.

A.A. is a self-help program but you can't do it by yourself.

AA won't keep you from going to hell nor is it a ticket to heaven but it will keep you sober long enough for you to make up your mind which way you want to go!

AA won't open the gates of heaven to let you in, but it will open the gates of hell to let you out.

In AA, there are no losers--just slow winners.

Alcoholic (as defined by self): A piece of crap the universe revolves around.

Alcoholic: Someone who refuses to give up a life of failure without a fight.

Alcoholic: A person who, when s/he goes to a wedding, wants to be the bride; when s/he goes to a funeral, wants to be the corpse.

Alcoholic: An alcoholic is someone who wants to be held while isolating.

Alcoholic: I may not be much, but I'm all I think about.

Alcoholic: If I could drink like a normal drinker, I'd drink all the time!

Alcoholic: If you drank enough to get to AA, you drank enough.

Alcohol: It provokes the desire but takes away the performance.

Only an alcoholic would believe that the solution to loneliness was isolation.

Alcoholics burn their bridges in front of them.

Alcohol: An alcoholic is someone who finds something that works and then stops doing it.

Alcohol: It's not what or how much you drank, it's what it did to you.

Alcohol: What you thought was the solution became the problem.

Alcoholic: Terminal uniqueness!

Alcoholic: They didn't make a glass big enough for me to have one drink.

Alcohol: You will be rich when you know you have enough.

Alcoholic drinking's three stages: impulsive ... compulsive ... repulsive.

Each and every alcoholic ---sober or not--- teaches us some valuable lessons about ourselves and recovery.

An alcoholic alone is slumming.

An alcoholic is not a guy who thinks he's had one too many.

He's usually the guy who thinks he's had one too few.

Every alcoholic's favorite brand: More!

If you think you are an alcoholic, chances are, you are.

Alcoholics heal from the outside in...but feel from the inside out.

The destiny of every alcoholic is to be locked up ... covered up ... or ... sobered up.

An alcoholic is a man with two feet firmly planted in mid-air.

You can carry the message, but not the alcoholic.

You're probably an alcoholic if: You think spilling beer is alcohol abuse.

Alcoholics are in a class by themselves. Everyone else has graduated.

Alcoholics are life-long loners who cannot stand to be alone.

Non-alcoholics change their behavior to meet their goals and alcoholics change their goals to meet their behavior.

Alcoholics aren't afraid to die. They're afraid to live.

Alcoholism: Alcohol went from being my best friend to my worst enemy.

Alcoholism: An alcoholic can be in the gutter, yet still look down on people.

Alcoholism: Guilt of yesterday, fear of tomorrow, shame of today.

Alcoholism: High bottoms have trap doors.

Alcoholism: If the cure works, chances are, you have the disease.

Alcoholism: If you drank long enough to get to an A.A. meeting, you drank long enough.

Alcoholism: Name it, Claim it, Tame it!!!

Alcoholism: Once you are a pickle, you can't be a cucumber. But once you are a pickle, you can be a newcomer.

Alcoholism is an equal opportunity destroyer.

Remember that alcoholism is .. incurable, progressive, and fatal.

Alcoholism: The three most dangerous words for an alcoholic -"I've been thinking"

Alcoholism: We are not bad people becoming good, but sick people becoming well.

Alcoholism: Your bottom just may be six feet under.

Alcoholism: Your disease progresses even when you are not drinking.

Alcoholism doesn't come in bottles; it comes in people.

Alcoholism is a self-diagnosed disease.

Some people think alcoholism is a two-fold disease -- more and right now.

Original source unknown


Have posted so many, don't know what's where!