[bluidkiti]

March 23

Daily Reflections

. . . AND NO MORE RESERVATIONS

We have seen the truth again and again: "Once an
alcoholic, always an alcoholic.". . . If we are
planning to stop drinking, there must be no reservation
of any kind, nor any lurking notion that someday we
will be immune to alcohol. . . . To be gravely affected,
one does not necessarily have to drink a long time nor
take the quantities some of us have. This is
particularly true of women. Potential female alcoholics
often turn into the real thing and are gone beyond
recall in a few years.
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 33

These words are underlined in my book. They are true for
men and women alcoholics. On many occasions I've turned
to this page and reflected on this passage. I need never
fool myself by recalling my sometimes differing drinking
patterns, or by believing I am "cured." I like to think
that, if sobriety is God's gift to me, then my sober
life is my gift to God. I hope that God is as happy with
His gift as I am with mine.

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Twenty-Four Hours A Day

A.A. Thought For The Day

Strength comes from the fellowship you find when you come
into A.A. Just being with men and women who have found
the way out gives you a feeling of security. You listen
to the speakers, you talk with other members, and you
absorb the atmosphere of confidence and hope that you
find in the place. Am I receiving strength from the fellowship
with other A.A. members?

Meditation For The Day

God is with you, to bless and help you. His spirit is all
around you. Waver not in your faith or in your prayers.
All power is the Lord's. Say that to yourself often and
steadily. Say it until your heart sings with joy for the
safety and personal power that it means to you. Say it
until the very force of the utterance drives back and
puts to naught all the evils against you. Use it as a
battle cry. All power is the Lord's. Then you will pass
on to victory over all your sins and temptations and you
will begin to live a victorious life.

Prayer For The Day

I pray that with strength from God I may lead an abundant
life. I pray that I may lead a life of victory.

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As Bill Sees It

Trouble Becomes an Asset, p. 82

"I think that this particular General Service Conference holds
promise and has been filled with progress--because it has had
trouble. And it has converted that trouble into an asset, into some
growth, and into a great promise.

"A.A. was born out of trouble, one of the most serious kinds of
trouble that can befall an individual, the trouble attendant upon this
dark and fatal malady of alcoholism. Every single one of us
approached A.A. in trouble, in impossible trouble, in hopeless trouble.
And that is why we came.

"If this Conference was ruffled, if individuals were deeply
disturbed--I say, 'This is fine." What parliament, what republic, what
democracy has not been disturbed? Friction of opposing viewpoints is
the very modus operandi on which they proceed. Then what should
we be afraid of?"

Talk, 1958

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Walk in Dry Places

Act As If
Finding Direction
Though it sounds like a game or a trick, there's great power in "acting as if." This means acting as if we've already succeeded, acting as if we expect everybody to cooperate with us, acting as if we've already reached whatever goal we're seeking.
The principle behind this approach is that such acting helps focus our minds and energies on goals. It's also important to believe that our success is inevitable if we are truly on the right path.
We should not employ this principle superstitously or assume it's a substitute for intelligent work and good judgment. It will be a substantial aid, however, in helping us eliminate the self-doubt and pessimism that dog so many alcoholics during their quest for sobriety. Too often, low self-esteem and a faulty belief that nothing will turn out right have led us to sabotage our own efforts.
We should go into any venture with the idea that we've already succeeded.... that much good is going to come out of it, even if the exact outcome is somewhat different from what we had in mind. "Acting as if" is just what we might need to summon our powers for the duties ahead.
An old saying affirms that "if God be for me, who can be against me?" I'll carry on today with the confidence that my Higher Power is guidnig all my efforts in the right direction.

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Keep It Simple

If anything, we have tended to be people who have wanted it all now. To hope is not to demand. ---On hope
Maybe we were a bit demanding. Maybe we were a bit impatient. Maybe that’s why we such little hope.
Hope is believing good will, even in bad times. Hope is knowing that “this too, shall pass.” Hope is knowing that no mater how afraid we are, God will be with us. Hope is knowing we never have to be alone again. It is knowing that time is o our side. Hope is giving up control. Hope is knowing we never had control in the first place. Hope is believing in ourselves. Hope is what our program is all about.
Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, in our program we share our experiences, our strengths, and our hopes. Thank you for giving all three of these to me to share.
Action for the Day: I will share my hope for the future with myself, my Higher Power, and my friends. I also will share this with someone who has lost hope.

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Each Day a New Beginning

On occasion I realize it's easier to say the serenity prayer and take that leap of faith than it is to continue doing what I'm doing. --S.H.
The pain of change is a reality. But so is the pain of no change--when change is called for. In spite of our desires, changing others will never be an option, whereas changing ourselves takes only a decision and is a choice always available.
We can take an inventory for a moment. What are we presently doing that makes us ashamed or angry or fearful? We can let go of that behavior and responsibly choose a new tack. If strength is needed, or confidence to try a new behavior, we can simply ask that it be ours. The Third Step promises that our lives are in God's care and our needs are always being attended to--not always our wants, but in every instance our needs.
Most of our struggles, today as in the past, are attached to persons and situations we are trying to forcibly control. How righteous our attitudes generally are! And so imposing is our behavior that we are met with resistance, painful resistance. Our recourse is now and always to "accept those things we cannot change, and willingly change that which we can." Our personal struggles will end when we are fully committed to the Serenity Prayer.
The wisdom "to know the difference" is mine today.

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Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition

WE AGNOSTICS

Instead of regarding ourselves as intelligent agents, spearheads of God’s ever advancing Creation, we agnostics and atheists chose to believe that our human intelligence was the last word, the alpha and the omega, the beginning and end of all. Rather vain of us, wasn’t it?
We, who have traveled this dubious path, beg you to lay aside prejudice, even against organized religion. We have learned that whatever the human frailties of various faiths may be, those faiths have given purpose and direction to millions. People of faith have a logical idea of what life is all about. Actually, we used to have no reasonable conception whatever. We used to amuse ourselves by cynically dissecting spiritual beliefs and practices when we might have observed that many spiritually-minded persons of all races, colors, and creeds were demonstrating a degree of stability, happiness and usefulness which we should have sought ourselves.

p. 49

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Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories

He Sold Himself Short

This picture is still vivid. If I live to be a hnudred, it will always stand out in my mind. It was very impressive, and I wish that every A.A. could have the benefit of this type of sponsorship today. Dr. Bob always emphasized the religious angle very strongly, and I think it helped. I know it helped me. Dr. Bob then led me through the restitution step, in which I made a list of all the persons I had harmed and worked out the ways and the means of slowly making restitution.

p. 263

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Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions

Tradition Eleven - "Our public relations policy is based on attraction rather than promotion; we need always maintain personal anonymity at the level of press, radio, and films."

Therefore, a great responsibility fell upon us to develop the best possible public relations policy for Alcoholics Anonymous. Through many painful experiences, we think we have arrived at what that policy ought to be. It is the opposite in many ways of usual promotional practice. We found that we had to rely upon the principle of attraction rather than of promotion.

pp. 180-181

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Don't point a finger - lend a hand.
--Cited in Even More of...The Best of BITS & PIECES

Inventory taking is not all in red ink.

A recovering alcoholic without a sponsor is like a ship without a
rudder.

"Every great move forward in your life begins with a leap of faith, a
step into the unknown."
--Brian Tracy

"The healthy and strong individual is the one who asks for help when
he needs it."
--Rona Barrett

". . . just to be alive is a grand thing."
--Agatha Christie

We cannot sink so low that God cannot lift us to freedom.
--John Harrold

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Father Leo's Daily Meditation

SELF-LOVE

"No matter how old you get, if
you keep the desire to be
creative, you're keeping the
man-child alive."
-- John Cassavetes

When I was a child, I used to play in the sand and make castles. I
would build a strong and firm fortress around the castle so that it could
withstand the force of the sea.

Today I also like to play in my life and I need to build strong and firm
behavioral structures that will withstand pressure and stress. Today I
need to build my life on a sure foundation --- and that foundation must
be me! I need to take care of me so that I can enjoy my life.

How do I take care of me? I watch what I drink. I am a recovering
alcoholic, and so I choose not to drink alcohol. I drink soda, orange
juice and milk --- but no alcohol. This is an important part of my
self-love program. I exercise regularly. I watch what I eat and I avoid
sugar and needless carbohydrates. I rest in the evenings and take
walks in the fresh air. The child that is in me still lives, but today he is
healthy.

Help me to treat life responsibly, but not too seriously.

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"We give thanks to You, O God, we give thanks! For Your wondrous
works declare that Your name is near."
Psalms 75:1

"In You, O Lord, I put my trust; let me never be put to shame."
Psalms 71:1

Faith comes from hearing, and hearing by the word of Christ.
Romans 10:17

Yes, you are very special in the eyes of God. But you are what you are
by the grace of God.
1 Corinthians 15:10

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Daily Inspiration

How foolish it is to focus on our weaknesses and troubles, thereby giving them more power than they deserve. Lord, I ask for your wisdom and guidance in what I put into my mind.

You are good and beautiful and intelligent and loved. Lord, may I accept me for all that I am and focus on my goodness.

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NA Just For Today

God's Gift

"We do the footwork and accept what's being given to us freely on a daily basis."
Basic Text pg. 46

Our relationship with our Higher Power is a two-way street. In prayer, we speak and God listens. When we meditate, we do our best to listen for the will of our Higher Power. We know that we are responsible for our part of the relationship. If we do not pray and listen, we shut our Higher Power out of our lives.

When we think about our relationship with our Higher Power, it's important to remember which one we are: the powerless one. We can ask for guidance; we can ask for willingness or strength; we can ask for knowledge of our Higher Power's will-but we cannot make demands. The God of our understanding-the one with the power-will fulfill the half of the relationship by giving us exactly what we need, when we need it.

We need to take action every day to keep our relationship with a Higher Power alive, One way we do this is by applying the Eleventh Step. Then we remember our own powerlessness and accept the will of a Power greater than ourselves.

Just for today: In my relationship with my Higher Power, I am the powerless one. Remembering who I am, today I will humbly accept the gifts of the God I understand.

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You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
It feels so good to cry. . . . --Susan Cygnet
Some of us were taught that it's bad to express our feelings directly--crying, wailing, jumping up and down for joy--that it's good manners to talk softly, slowly, and politely and to sit still.
But what happens to our feelings when we sit still? If they don't get expressed, they must be caught inside our bodies. Trapped feelings are like birds in a cage, or a rabbit in a trap--they try to get out any way they can. They peck on our heads and give us headaches. They scratch at our stomachs and make us hurt.
We must let them out. We must laugh and cry. Then our bodies will be happy, and our feelings will curl up in our laps like happy puppies.
Am I ignoring the physical symptoms of trapped feelings?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
If anything is sacred, the human body is sacred. --Walt Whitman
A renewed relationship with our bodies is part of our spiritual renewal. Perhaps we have not known our bodies as part of our spiritual selves. We may have treated ourselves and others as objects. Too often genitals were "tools" to be used, objects of our egos, or a way of taking care of someone else. Maybe we have used sex compulsively as an escape from other emotions. Men in recovery commonly encounter problems with sexuality. Those problems often come from knowing deep within that we must change, but not knowing how.
It helps to create new images in our minds. We can imagine a totally relaxed playfulness with our partners, with no goal in mind and no judgment. We can imagine our Higher Power being with us. We can imagine talking in detail with someone - our partner or a friend - about our feelings, anxieties, or frustrations with sex. We can imagine ourselves as a whole body, alone, not with a partner, and okay Bringing sexuality into the whole of our lives is a spiritual thing to do.
May I find ways to include sexuality in my spiritual awakening.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
On occasion I realize it's easier to say the serenity prayer and take that leap of faith than it is to continue doing what I'm doing. --S.H.
The pain of change is a reality. But so is the pain of no change--when change is called for. In spite of our desires, changing others will never be an option, whereas changing ourselves takes only a decision and is a choice always available.
We can take an inventory for a moment. What are we presently doing that makes us ashamed or angry or fearful? We can let go of that behavior and responsibly choose a new tack. If strength is needed, or confidence to try a new behavior, we can simply ask that it be ours. The Third Step promises that our lives are in God's care and our needs are always being attended to--not always our wants, but in every instance our needs.
Most of our struggles, today as in the past, are attached to persons and situations we are trying to forcibly control. How righteous our attitudes generally are! And so imposing is our behavior that we are met with resistance, painful resistance. Our recourse is now and always to "accept those things we cannot change, and willingly change that which we can." Our personal struggles will end when we are fully committed to the Serenity Prayer.
The wisdom "to know the difference" is mine today.


You are reading from the book The Language Of Letting Go.
Flack from Setting Boundaries
We need to know how far well go, and how far well allow others to go with us. Once we understand this, we can go anywhere. --Beyond Codependency
When we own our power to take care of ourselves- -set a boundary, say no, and change an old pattern - we may get flack from some people. That's okay. We don't have to let their reactions control us, stop us, or influence our decision to take care of ourselves.
We don't have to control their reactions to our process of self-care. That is not our responsibility. We don't have to expect them not to react either.
People will react when we do things differently or take assertive action to nurture ourselves, particularly if our decision in some way affects them. Let them have their feelings. Let them have their reactions. But continue on your course anyway.
If people are used to us behaving in a certain way, they'll attempt to convince us to stay that way to avoid changing the system. If people are used to us saying yes all the time, they may start mumbling and murmuring when we say no. If people are used to us taking care of their responsibilities, feelings, and problems, they may give us some flack when we stop. That's normal. We can learn to live with a little flack in the name of healthy self-care. Not abuse, mind you, Flack.
If people are used to controlling us through guilt, bullying, and badgering, they may intensify their efforts when we change and refuse to be controlled. That's okay. That's flack too.
We don't have to let flack pull us back into old ways if we've decided we want and need to change. We don't have to react to flack or give it much attention. It doesn't deserve it. It will die down.
Today, I will disregard any flack I receive for changing my behaviors or making other efforts to be myself.


Today, I no longer struggle to find my answers alone. I welcome and am open to positive and healthy support wherever I find it. --Ruth Fishel

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Journey to the Heart

Comfort Yourself

I was driving through Montana, on my way to a town on the Flathead Indian Reservation. I was going there because an old hotel, opened in 1928, noted for its medicinal mineral waters had caught my attention. As I pulled off the highway and began the drive down the side roads, I felt an environmental ambiance I hadn’t experienced before.

The hills were huge mounds, covered with a soft-green, grassy moss. Not steep sharp mountains; comforting, rounded hills– one after another. A gentle energy emanated from them. It was more than love. More than kindness. I felt comforted, embraced, almost held by Mother Earth in her bosom. My body relaxed. My spirit soared. I felt warm. Cared for. Nurtured. Comforted.

Comfort is a place we can visit often, as often as we need to. Although certain places and objects help comfort us, it is really a place within each of us. Some of us may have thought that comfort was a waste of time, but now we know that there is tremendous power in comfort, the power to heal. We no longer have to deprive ourselves of comfort, of that warm feeling of being nurtured. We can visit it for ourselves; we can take others there with us.

What brings you comfort? What makes you feel safe, cozy, warm, loved? What places? What people? What events? Learn to comfort yourself. Learn to accept comfort, and learn to give it. Go to that special place of comfort whenever you need to. Stay as long as you wish. The healing power of comfort will make life better.

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More Language Of Letting Go

Let go of the trappings

We call it keeping up with the Joneses. They buy a boat and we buy a bigger one. They get a new TV and we get a big screen. They start a business and we start planning our articles of incorporation and the first stock release. And while we’re so busy keeping up, we ignore our soul, the inner voice, that’s telling us that it really wants to teach children to read.

While it helps to identify with each other, we’re not the same. So why compare ourselves on the basis of material things?

Follow your own talent and heart. It may be that you are a talented public speaker, able to sway hundreds of people with your words. Or maybe you have the talent of friendship, and you’ve been sent to quietly, one-on-one, help those close to you walk their own path.

If you must compare yourself to something, compare your daily life to your ideals and dreams. Do they match? If those ideals and dreams bring great material wealth, that’s great. If they mean a life of quiet, anonymous service, that’s great,too. Yes, material goods can be fun. But they can also be a trap.

Are you walking a path with heart in your own life, regardless of what others have?

God, help me let go of the trappings. Teach me to walk my own path.

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Divergent Directions
Coping with People You Dislike

by Madisyn Taylor

When we are forced to deal with people we dislike, a great learning opportunity is being put forth to us.

As much as most of us wish we could exist in harmony with the people we encounter throughout our lives, there will always be individuals we dislike. Some simply rub us the wrong way while others strike us as deliberately unaware. We may judge others as too mean or abrasive for us to interact with them comfortably. Yet no person should be deemed a villain because their beliefs, opinions, mannerisms, and mode of being are not compatible with your own. You need not embrace the rough traits they have chosen to embody. There may be times in which the best course of action involves distancing yourself from someone you dislike. But circumstances may require that you spend time in the company of individuals who awaken your aversion. In such cases, you can ease your discomfort by showing your foe loving compassion while examining your feelings carefully.

The reasons we dislike some individuals are often complex and, at first, indecipherable. Often, we are automatically averse to people who are different because they compel us to question our values, spirituality, culture, and ideologies, threatening to undermine our self-assurance. Realistically, however, those you dislike have no power to weaken your life’s foundations. In fact, your aversion to specific individuals may actually be your response to your fear that specific qualities you see in them also exist within you. Their presence may force you to face internal issues you would rather not confront. If you meet someone who inspired an intense, largely negative response in you, ask yourself why your reaction is so laden with powerful emotions. Remember that you control your feelings and, if necessary, you can minimize this individual’s impact on your well-being by choosing how you will respond to them.

Though you may not have an immediate breakthrough, your willingness to consider your dislike rationally can help you better understand the root of your feelings. Your aversion to certain individuals may not wane over time, yet the comprehension you gain through reflection can help you interact with them sympathetically, benevolently, and with a greater degree of kindness. There is nothing wrong with recognizing that you are incompatible with some people. You may never achieve a shared harmony with those you dislike, but you can nonetheless learn to modulate your reactions to these individuals and, ultimately, to coexist peacefully with them. Published with permission from Daily OM

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A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

The Program teaches us, through the experience, strength and hope of its fellowship, that the worst situation imaginable does not warrant a return to our addiction. No matter how bad a particular situation or set of circumstances, the return to our old ways for even a minute will assuredly make it worse. Am I Grateful for the sharing and caring of “The Program”

Today I Pray

May I insist that no stone can be heavy enough to rag me back down into the pool of my addiction. No burden, so disappointment, no blow to pride or loss of human love is worth the price of returning to my old way of life. When I harbor thoughts that life is “too much” for me, that no one should be expected to “take so much and still remains sane” or that I am “the fall guy,”{ let me listen for the tone of my complaints and remember that I have heard that whine before — before I concluded that I was powerless over the chemical and gave my will over to the will of God. Such wailing sets me up for getting high again. May God keep my ears alert to the tone of my own complaining.

Today I Will Remember

Hear my own complaints.

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One More Day

There the weary cease from troubling, and there the weary be at rest.
– Job 3:17

We never thought we would have to learn to live with constant weariness. Our notions of illness may have prepared us for pain, inconvenience, maybe even some negative emotions like anger, but we had no way of anticipating the unrelenting drain of illness. There is tremendous comfort just in knowing we are not alone, that ultimately there is a Power greater than ourselves to whom we can turn for comfort and strength.

We can’t always escape the physical weariness of illness, but we can regenerate our spirituality, which may have dissipated along with our good health.

I cannot control my illness, but I can have a hopeful attitude.

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One Day At A Time

Progress, Not Perfection

"The maxim 'Nothing but perfection'
may be spelled "Paralysis."
Winston Churchill

I can't count the number of times I've heard the expression, "progress not perfection" from my sponsor and used it with my sponsees. We take little steps - one day at a time - which gradually lead to greater steps. Small successes eventually will lead to bigger successes. Often though, we want it all and we want it NOW!

Recovery is a process - not an end result. It requires a kind of a balancing act - if we try to juggle more balls than what we're capable of comfortably balancing - we will crash and this can lead to relapse. So rather than juggling five balls and crashing - it's better to juggle three really well and gradually work in a 4th or a fifth.

One Day at a Time . . .
I will focus on making progress rather than trying to be perfect.
Rob

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AA 'Big Book' - Quote

We have three little mottoes which are apropos. Here they are:

First Things First
Live and Let Live
Easy Does It

Pg. 135 - The Family Afterward

Hour To Hour - Book - Quote

Go look at yourself in the mirror. What do you see? Look into your eyes. Say: I have the disease of addiction. It's not horrible; it's not bad; it simply is. Right now, this hour, I accept this fact.

Please lift any residual suspicion in me that whispers that I am bad for suffering from addiction.

Opening to Abundance

I am ready, willing and able to open my mind and heart to the abundance that the world has to offer me. This world brings forth what I need. The sun shines, water from fresh springs makes its way across rocky slopes to quench my thirst and abundant varieties of food germinate from seeds to nourish my body. Everywhere nature brings forth. The clouds, wind and rain draw me toward their eternal mystery. This world is designed to nurture and sustain life. I am part of that life, and I receive solace and comfort knowing that the world and I are both alive and vibrant. Both imbued with the same life force. This world nurtures me.

I am open to abundance

- Tian Dayton PhD

Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote

Listen to the message, not the messenger! This is what Tradition Twelve is all about, looking past the personality to the principle behind the message. There are some mighty slick personalities out there talking trash and some Big Book thumpers (irritating as they are) that have a true message of hope.

The slicker, the sicker.

"Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book

Contempt is not a spiritual gift.

Time for Joy - Book - Quote

Today I no longer struggle to find my answers alone. I welcome and am open to positive and healthy support wherever I find it.

Alkiespeak - Book - Quote

I don't change because I've seen the light but because I have felt the heat. - Penny P.