View Single Post
Old 04-12-2015, 09:57 AM   #13
bluidkiti
Administrator
 
bluidkiti's Avatar
 

Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 70,043
Default

April 13

Daily Reflections

THE FALSE COMFORT OF SELF-PITY

Self-pity is one of the most unhappy and consuming defects
that we know. It is a bar to all spiritual progress and
can cut off all effective communication with our fellows
because of its inordinate demands for attention and sympathy.
It is a maudlin form of martyrdom, which we can ill afford.
AS BILL SEES IT, p. 238

The false comfort of self-pity screens me from reality
only momentarily and then demands, like a drug, that I
take an ever bigger dose. If I succumb to this it could
lead to a relapse into drinking. What can I do? One certain
antidote is to turn my attention, however slightly at first,
toward others who are genuinely less fortunate than I,
preferably other alcoholics. In the same degree that I
actively demonstrate my empathy with them, I will lessen
my own exaggerated suffering.

************************************************** *********

Twenty-Four Hours A Day

A.A. Thought For The Day

Having found my way into this new world by the grace of God
and the help of A.A., am I going to take that first drink,
when I know that just one drink will change my whole world?
Am I deliberately going back to the suffering of that
alcoholic world? Or am I going to hang onto the happiness
of this sober world? Is there any doubt about the answer?
With God's help, am I going to hang onto AA. with both hands?

Meditation For The Day

I will try to make the world better and happier by my
presence in it. I will try to help other people find the
way God wants them to live. I will try to be on the side
of good, in the stream of righteousness, where all things
work for good. I will do my duty persistently and faithfully,
not sparing myself. I will be gentle with all people. I will
try to see other people's difficulty and help them to correct
it. I will always pray to God to act as interpreter between
me and the other person.

Prayer For The Day

I pray that I may live in the spirit of prayer. I pray that
I may depend on God for the strength I need to help me to do
my part in making the world a better place.

************************************************** *********

As Bill Sees It

Principle Before Expediency, p. 103

Most of us thought good character was desirable. Obviously, good
character was something one needed to get on with the business of
being self-satisfied. With a proper display of honesty and morality,
we'd stand a better chance of getting what we really wanted. But
whenever we had to choose between character and comfort,
character-building was lost in the dust of our chase after what we
thought was happiness.

Seldom did we look at character-building as something desirable in
itself. We never thought of making honesty, tolerance, and true love of
man and God the daily basis of living.

<< << << >> >> >>

How to translate a right mental conviction into a right emotional result,
and so into easy, happy and good living, is the problem of life itself.

1. 12 & 12, pp. 71-72
2. Grapevine, January 1958

************************************************** *********

Walk in Dry Places

No Conditional Sobriety
Admission of Powerlessness
Sobriety in AA is unconditional. This means that there’s never been a reason for drinking, no matter how bad our circumstances may become. As the AA pioneers were fond of saying, “THERE’S NOTHING THAT DRINKING WON'T MAKE WORSE.”
How do we know if we've been setting conditions on sobriety? It’s revealed to us in our own thinking. If we believe, for example, that a certain setback such as the ending of a relationship is just cause for drinking, we have made our sobriety conditional.
In such cases, what we need to do is clear up our own thinking on the subject. Maybe further inventory is needed, or perhaps we should let ourselves learn from the experience of others. Self-honesty is also important in getting priorities in order.
The decision to choose unconditional sobriety brings additional benefits in helping us to organize our lives. Once we completely understand that sobriety is all-important, it becomes easier to make other decisions that bear on keeping sober. We find ourselves choosing the ideas and activities that enhance sobriety, while rejecting other things that could threaten it.
I’ll never waver in a moment from my relief that I must continue to seek sobriety…… unconditionally. There is nothing that could ever justify my taking a drink.

************************************************** *********

Keep It Simple

No labor, however humble, is dishonoring.---The Talmud
Work is good for the heart. Work is good for our minds. It can give us something to focus on besides ourselves. Labor doesn't just mean having a job. It may mean planting a garden or helping a friend. It certainly means working our program. Hopefully, it's a labor of love. We can get into trouble if we have to much time on our hands. We can turn it into mischief or self-pity. We can get bored. Being bored is a matter of choice. We'll never be bored if we ask ourselves, "How can I make this world a better place?" We can turn our answers into action.
Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, teach me to use my time wisely. Help me be well-balanced between labor and fun. I need both.
Action for the Day: I'll list five ways that labor and fun can help me get closer to my Higher Power. And I'll look for people and things to fill my time in positive ways.

************************************************** *********

Each Day a New Beginning

The world is a wheel always turning. Those who are high go down low, and those who've been low go up higher. --Anzia Yezierska
Everything changes. Nothing stays the same. And letting go of the way things are, anticipating instead what they might become, frees us to live each moment more fully.
Time marches on, and our destiny marches with it. There is purpose in how our lives unfold, the ups and downs serve our growth. We must neither resent the doldrums nor savor too long the elation. Giving too much attention to either state interferes with our awareness of the present. And the present has come to teach us.
We must move with time. We must focus our attention on the moment and accept whatever feelings each experience elicits. Emotional maturity is accepting our feelings and letting them go and facing instead the next moment with fresh receptivity. Our lessons are many, and they accompany the lows as well as the highs. We can be grateful for both.
The program has taught us freedom from lingering lows. It has given us the tools to move confidently forward, trusting that all is well. Nothing lasts forever, and within each struggle is the opportunity for real growth.
The highs will pass away, just as will the lows. They visit us purposefully. I will give them their freedom and find mine as well.

************************************************** *********

Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition

WE AGNOSTICS

One night, when confined in a hospital, he was approached by an alcoholic who had known a spiritual experience. Our friend’s gorge rose as he bitterly cried out: “If there is a God, He certainly hasn’t done anything for me!” But later, alone in his room, he asked himself this question: “Is it possible that all the religious people I have known are wrong?” While pondering the answer he felt as though he lived in hell. Then, like a thunderbolt, a great thought came. It crowded out all else:
“Who are you to say there is no God?”
This man recounts that he tumbled out of bed to his knees. In a few seconds he was overwhelmed by a conviction of the Presence of God. It poured over and through him with the certainty and majesty of a great tide at flood. The barriers he had built through the years were swept away. He stood in the Presence of Infinite Power and Love. He had stepped from bridge to shore. For the first time, he lived in conscious companionship with his Creator.
Thus was our friend’s cornerstone fixed in place. No later vicissitude has shaken it. His alcoholic problem was taken away. That very night, years ago, it disappeared. Save for a few brief moments of temptation the though of drink has never returned; and at such times a great revulsion has risen up in him. Seemingly he could not drink even if he would. God had restored his sanity.

pp. 56-57

************************************************** *********

Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories

The Keys Of The Kingdom

This worldly lady helped to develop A.A. in Chicago and thus passed her keys to many.

Between the ages of twenty-five and thirty, I tried everything. I moved a thousand miles away from home to Chicago and a new environment. I studied art; I desperately endeavored to create an interest in many things, in a new place among new people. Nothing worked. My drinking habits increased in spite of my struggle for control. I tried the beer diet, the wine diet, timing, measuring, and spacing of drinks. I tried them mixed, unmixed, drinking only when happy, only when depressed. And still, by the time I was thirty years old, I was being pushed around by a compulsion to drink that was completely beyond my control. I couldn't stop drinking. I would hang on to sobriety for short intervals, but always there would come the tide of an overpowering necessity to drink, and, as I was engulfed in it, I felt such a sense of panic that I really believed I would die if I didn't get that drink inside.

pp. 269-270

************************************************** *********

Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions

Foreword

Though the essays which follow were written mainly for members, it is thought by many of A.A.'s friends that these pieces might arouse interest and find application outside A.A. itself.

p. 15

************************************************** *********

According to my experience, the principal characteristic of genuine
happiness is peace, inner peace.
--His Holiness the Dalai Lama

God, help me remember to be peaceful first, no matter what situation I
face.
--Melody Beattie

"When human beings stand by one another, testify to their faith, and
witness each other's pain, miracles happen. If we are loved enough,
we are emotionally healed and spiritually made whole."
--Marianne Williamson

God, teach me to let go of worry about money.
--Melody Beattie

"Don't go through life, GROW through life."
--Eric Butterworth

Let those whom you care about know how much you appreciate them,
right now!

Look for opportunities to speak words that help and heal.
--Roy Shaver

************************************************** *********

Father Leo's Daily Meditation

REALITY

"I tend to be suspicious of people
whose love of animals is
exaggerated; they are often
frustrated in their relationship
with humans."
--Yila (Camilla Koffler)

Anything can be used to avoid dealing with reality. People can use
alcohol, food, drugs, people, sex, gambling - and yes, even animals - to
avoid dealing with their loneliness and feelings of isolation.

The key to addiction is to be found in the obsessive and compulsive
behavior patterns that stop us from reaching our full potential as human
beings. We cannot relax with who we are because of our exaggerated
and painful lifestyles. We cannot truly love ourselves because of our
obsession with the "it" that seems to be controlling us. At some point we
need to see the obsession and begin to talk about it.

In order for me to be a spiritual person I must free myself from
compulsive attitudes.

God, I meditate on the "comfortableness" of freedom.

************************************************** *********

"From his fullness we have all received, grace upon grace."
John 1:16

"When they call to me, I will answer them; I will be with them in trouble,
I will rescue them and honor them."
Psalm 91:15

"Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will
be forgiven."
Luke 6:37

I lift up my eyes to the hills--where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth. Psalm 121:1-2

Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven.
Matthew 5:16

************************************************** *********

Daily Inspiration

Grow and learn from every situation no matter how insignificant because to stand still is really going backwards. Lord, may my spirit always remain young and vibrant and my enthusiasm for each new day remain alive.

It is the optimist that opens new doors and takes advantage of even the smallest of life's opportunities. Lord, may my spirit shine and my eyes be open so that I may discover all that life offers.

************************************************** *********

NA Just For Today

People - Pleasing

"...approval-seeking behavior carried us further into our addiction..."
Basic Text p. 14

When others approve of what we do or say, we feel good; when they disapprove, we feel bad. Their opinions of us, and how those opinions make us feel, can have positive value. By making us feel good about steering a straight course, they encourage us to continue doing so. "People-pleasing" is something else entirely. We "people-please" when we do things, right or wrong, solely to gain another person's approval.

Low self-esteem can make us think we need someone else's approval to feel okay about ourselves. We do whatever we think it will take to make them tell us we're okay We feel good for awhile. Then we start hurting. In trying to please another person, we've diminished ourselves and our values. We realize that the approval of others will not fill the emptiness inside us.

The inner satisfaction we seek can be found in doing the right things for the right reasons. We break the people-pleasing cycle when we stop acting merely to gain others' approval and start acting on our Higher Power's will for us. When we do, we may be pleasantly surprised to find that the people who really count in our lives will approve all the more of our behavior. Most importantly, though, we will approve of ourselves.

Just for today: Higher Power, help me live in accordance with spiritual principles. Only then can I approve of myself.

************************************************** *********

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
If I have freedom in my life, And in my soul am free, Angels alone that soar above Enjoy such liberty. --Richard Lovelace
When a cow decides to stop nursing her calf, she isn't rejecting it. She knows it's time for the calf to be on its own. Although the calf might feel rejected and puzzled at first, it soon adapts to its new independence and freedom.
When we feel rejected, it's useful to remember that whatever has caused us to feel this way might have nothing to do with us. It might be a reflection of what's happening with someone else, or just the end of a natural stage in life, as with the calf.
When we understand that others' actions toward us come from their own feelings, and that we don't cause their feelings any more than they control ours, we can free ourselves from a little bit of fear and self-hate. We can see what seems to be rejection as an open door, with our freedom on the other side.
What rejections have set me free?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
Just be what you are and speak from your guts and heart - it's all a man has. --Hubert Humphrey
Some of us have doubted our inner voice so completely that we abandoned it totally. Many of us have discovered in recovery that by our denial we had violated our inner voice with lies, even to ourselves. Now we question whether we can trust our instincts, and we may not know what we feel.
Masculine spiritual recovery is a return to our guts and our heart. Standing up and speaking from our hearts may be difficult at times, but our self-respect rises as we do. That is where we go for our final decision-making. We develop better reception for the inner voice as we live this program. We accept that we are never absolutely right. We continue with humility, knowing we may be wrong and listening to others and our Higher Power. Yet we must live with our choices.
I will seek the courage to be faithful to my own instincts.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
It seems to me that I have always been waiting for something better - sometimes to see the best I had snatched from me.
--Dorothy Reed Mendenhall
Gratitude for what is prepares us for the blessings just around the corner. What is so necessary to understand is that our wait for what's around the corner closes our eyes to the joys of the present moment. We have only the 24 hours ahead of us. In fact, all we can be certain of having is the moment we are presently experiencing. And it is a gift to be enjoyed. There is no better gift just right for us than this moment, at this time.
We can, each of us, look back on former days, realizing that we learned too late the value of a friend or an experience. Both are now gone. With practice and a commitment to ourselves, we can learn to reap the benefits of today, hour by hour. When we detach from the present and wait for tomorrow, or next week, or look to next year, we are stunting our spiritual growth. Life can only bless us now, one breath at a time.
I can live in the present if I choose to. Gentle reminders are often necessary, however. I will step into my life, today. It can become a habit, one I will never want to break.


You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
Communication
Part of owning our power is learning to communicate clearly, directly, and assertively. We don't have to beat around the bush in our conversations to control the reactions of others. Guilt producing comments only produce guilt. We don't have to fix or take care of people with our words; we cant expect others to take care of us with words either. We can settle for being heard and accepted. And we can respectfully listen to what others have to say.
Hinting at what we need doesn't work. Others cant read our mind, and they're likely to resent our indirectness. The best way to take responsibility for what we want is to ask for it directly. And, we can insist on directness from others. If we need to say no to a particular request, we can. If someone is trying to control us through a conversation, we can refuse to participate.
Acknowledging feelings such as disappointment or anger directly, instead of making others guess at our feelings or having our feelings come out in other ways, is part of responsible communication. If we don't know what we want to say, we can say that too.
We can ask for information and use words to forge a closer connection, but we don't have to take people around the block with our conversations. We don't have to listen to, or participate in, nonsense. We can say what we want and stop when were done.
Today, I will communicate clearly and directly in my conversations with others. I will strive to avoid manipulative, indirect, or guilt producing statements. I can be tactful and gentle whenever possible. And I can be assertive if necessary.


It is beautiful to know that I am the creator of how I think and feel today, that I can choose my now. Today I choose to feel joy and I will do all that I have to do to make that possible. --Ruth Fishel

*******************************************

Journey To The Heart

Give Freely of What You’ve Been Given

Learning not to overcare, overgive, and overdo are the lessons of the past. We have learned them, learned them well. There was a time when we needed to monitor our giving because we were giving compulsively, almost addictively, with no thought to what felt right in our heart, with no understanding of loving ourselves. But that was yesterday.

This is now. We can trust ourselves to know when it’s time to stop or when our giving has become destructive. We can trust ourselves to know when it’s not our job to give, because now we are connected to ourselves, listening to ourselves, on track.

Give freely of your time, your heart, your joy, your wisdom. Share your experiences, your strength, your hope. Share your weaknesses as well as your strengths. Share your money, your gifts, your laughter. Share your hope. Share yourself.

Give freely of what you’ve been given, and the universe will provide you with exactly what you need. Give freely and the universe will give freely to you.

*******************************************

More Language Of Letting Go

Let yourself make mistakes

There are times we don’t know which way to proceed or what to do next. We can become so blocked and stymied trying to figure it out that we just sit and spin our wheels. In those situations, the solution may involve making some choice– even if it turns out to be the wrong one.

Ideally, we can meditate on our choices and one way will feel right and clear, and the other won’t. But in those times when we can’t get clear, sometimes we have to give things a try. Take that job. Move into a condo. Date that woman. If it’s a mistake, you can correct it as honestly, quickly, and humbly as you can.

You don’t have to live life as perfectly as you think. Sometimes it takes making a mistake in order for us to get clear.

God, help me let go of perfectionism. Help me give myself permission to live.

*******************************************

Getting Unstuck
From Getting Unstuck On-line Course

by Pema Chodron

The following is an excerpt from the "Getting Unstuck" on-line course. If you would like to enroll in the course, click here.


Each of us gets hooked in habitual ways of seeing the world, but how we respond to these situations will in large part determine how much peace and freedom we experience in our lives.

Once we learn to recognize when we’re caught, and our own unique styles of getting hooked, we then have the opportunity to do something different, to choose a fresh alternative.

Positive Groundlessness and the Three Difficult Practices

The first difficult practice is noticing when you get hooked, when you get caught in a habitual pattern which causes you to suffer. Pema explains that, with some practice, you can catch on to this rather quickly and begin to clearly notice when you are hooked. Further, we learn that getting hooked, in and of itself, is not actually a problem; it is quite natural and arises spontaneously in all of us. There is no suffering inherent in the hooking itself, Pema explains, but only in how we respond to it.

The second difficult practice is: do something different. This practice is much more difficult to catch on to, Pema teaches, and goes against the grain of our conditioning and habits. This practice is also referred to as “choosing a fresh alternative.” Through this practice, we begin to explore the interruption of the momentum which keeps our suffering alive. In the face of this “being hooked”, we often speak and act in ways which only serve to strengthen our habits of resentment, anger, blaming others, and so forth, which just entrench us in patterns that make us more and more unhappy.

The third and final difficult practice is making this exploration a way of life. The notion here is that this is not just a one-time thing where you notice you’re hooked, choose a fresh alternative, and then it’s all over. These patterns are something that will continue to arise in our experience, leaving us with dozens or hundreds of opportunities each week to notice the various ways we get caught in the momentum of our habitual responses to life’s challenges.

We also learn about the teaching of “positive groundlessness.” When we notice that we’ve been hooked, we find it very difficult to relax into the experience and to stay open and unbiased, simply experiencing the rawness of what is there. In this space we see that there is truly nothing to hold onto-- no bias, no preference. On the one hand, this experience is quite terrifying, this reality of no ground underneath our feet, no fixed reference point or view in which we can hang out in. But this groundlessness is also filled with “positive” qualities, such as wide open vastness, limitlessness, and extraordinary potential. Published with permission from Daily OM

*******************************************

A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

Any number of addicted people are bedeviled by the dire conviction that if they ever go near The Program — whether by attending meetings or talking on-tune with a member — they’ll be pressured to conform to some particular brand of faith or religion. They don’t realize that faith is never an imperative for membership in The Program; that freedom from addiction can be achieved with an easily acceptable minimum of it; and that our concerts of a Higher Power and God — as we understand Him — afford everyone a nearly unlimited choice of spiritual belief and action. Am I receiving strength by sharing with newcomers?

Today I Pray

May I never frighten newcomers or keep away those who are considering coming to The Program by “laying on them” my particular, personal ideas about a Higher Power. May each discover his or her own spiritual identity. May all find within themselves a link with some great universal. Being or Spirit whose Power is greater than theirs individually. May I grow, both in tolerance and in spirituality, every day.

Today I Will Remember

I will reach, not preach.

*******************************************

One More Day

Tears are summer showers to the soul.
– Alfred Austin

All our lives, we have been told that time would heal all wounds – and that if time couldn’t then the doctor would.

There are few things which may feel as final as a diagnosis of chronic illness. Chronic means forever — and we can never hardly conceive of a problem that will never go away. We may find ourselves crying over and over again, and wonder if the tears will ever end.

For many of us, our tears were how we began to grieve. Grief was how we started to heal ourselves emotionally from the burden of “forever.” The tears we shed helped cleanse our thoughts and bodies so we could move on to live the rest of our lives. Today, our grief and weeping will help us continue to grow.

I can let myself shed the purifying tears that well up in my heart. They will help me move on with my life.

*****************************************

One Day At A Time

~ BE STILL ~
Be still, and know that I am God.
The Bible, Book of Psalms

I don't always know what "normal" is. I'm learning that my disease keeps me from having a normal relationship with food, but I also know that there are times when my feelings and thoughts are due to normal circumstances. I might not feel well physically, I could be fatigued from a demanding task, or I might simply be having an off day. There are normal reactions to these situations and I can feel them. Not everything is caused by my disease!

However, the way I handle these kinds of experiences can very much be affected by my disease. On those bad days, I don't have to make important decisions and I don't have to filter experiences through these thoughts and feelings. I can postpone things until I'm on a more even keel and, just for today, take care of myself and do the next right thing.

One Day at a Time . . .
I am grateful for the ways I am "normal" and thank God for the knowledge that I don't have to let my disease make me think everything about me is "sick." Let me simply be still on those uneven days and know that God is God and He is there.
~ Sandee S. ~

*****************************************

AA 'Big Book' - Quote

When writing or speaking publicly about alcoholism, we urge each of our Fellowship to omit his personal name, designating himself instead as a member of 'Alcoholics Anonymous.' - Pg. xiii - Forward To The First Edition

Hour To Hour - Book - Quote

Is yesterday something that you worry about? Some yesterday? Whatever its mistakes, faults, blunders, or pains it has passed forever beyond your control. You cannot erase a single word or deed from your 'yesterdays.' On this road of recovery, we find it best to simply worry about right now.

Right now I am safe. Right now I am abstinent. Right now I am not harming myself. Right now I am relying on a Power Greater then myself to see me through this.

Giving

Today I give with both hands. Giving for its own sake is the spiritual way and actually releases the gift. When I give with one hand and take with the other, I give only half of what I have and receive only half of what might be given to me. I limit myself in two ways. Somehow the universe responds to clear intention. When I fully release a gift, it goes to where it is supposed to go and what returns to me comes when and how it is right.

I am able to give with both hands

- Tian Dayton PhD

Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote

'You can't laugh and think at the same time! So every time you laugh you're getting a break from you.' ~Ken D. (P 153, Alkiespeak)

I take my program seriously, not myself.

"Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book

I will to will your will. ~CDA Book Page 48

Time for Joy - Book - Quote

Today I have faith and perseverance to stay on my path and to do what is necessary whether or not it gives me immediate results and gratification. I am letting go of my impatience, procrastination, fear and doubt. I trust that God knows the right time for the right results.

Alkiespeak - Book - Quote

Twelve Steps in six words: I can't. God can. Let Him. - Unknown origin.
__________________
"No matter what you have done up to this moment, you get 24 brand-new hours to spend every single day." --Brian Tracy
AA gives us an opportunity to recreate ourselves, with God's help, one day at a time. --Rufus K.
When you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on. --Franklin D. Roosevelt
We stay sober and clean together - one day at a time!
God says that each of us is worth loving.
bluidkiti is offline  
The Following 16 Users Say Thank You to bluidkiti For Sharing: