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May 13

Daily Reflections

THE EASIER, SOFTER WAY

If we skip this vital step, we may not overcome drinking.
Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 72

I certainly didn't leap at the opportunity to face who I was, especially
when the pains of my drinking days hung over me like a dark cloud.
But I soon heard at the meetings about the fellow member who just
didn't want to take Step Five and kept coming back to meetings,
trembling from the horrors of reliving his past. The easier, softer way
is to take these Steps to freedom from our fatal disease, and to put our
faith in the Fellowship and our Higher Power.

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Twenty-Four Hours A Day

A.A. Thought For The Day

In A.A. we find fellowship and release and strength. And having found
these things, the real reasons for our drinking are taken away. Then
drinking has no more justification in our minds. We no longer need to
fight against drink. Drink just naturally leaves us. At first, we are
sorry that we can't drink, but we get so that we are glad that we don't
have to drink. Am I glad that I don't have to drink?

Meditation For The Day

Try never to judge. The human mind is so delicate and so complete
that only its Maker can know it wholly. Each mind is so different,
actuated by such different motives, controlled by such different
circumstance, influenced by such different sufferings, you cannot know
all the influences that have gone to make up a personality. Therefore,
it is impossible for you to judge wholly that personality. But God
knows that person wholly and He can change it. Leave to God the
unraveling of the puzzles of personality. And leave it to God to teach
you the proper understanding.

Prayer For The Day

I pray that I may not judge other people. I pray that I may be certain
that God can set right what is wrong in every personality.

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As Bill Sees It

"Privileged People", p. 133

I saw that I had been living too much alone, too much aloof from my
fellows, and too deaf to that voice within. Instead of seeing myself as
a simple agent bearing the message of experience, I had thought of
myself as a founder of A.A.

How much better it would have been had I felt gratitude rather than
self-satisfaction--gratitude that I had once suffered the pains of
alcoholism, gratitude that a miracle of recovery had been worked
upon me from above, gratitude for the privilege of serving my fellow
alcoholics, and gratitude for those fraternal ties which bound me ever
closer to them in a comradeship such as few societies of men have
ever known.

Truly did a clergyman say to me, "Your misfortune has become your
good fortune. You A.A.'s are privileged people."

Grapevine, July 1946

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Walk in Dry Places

Who's to blame?
Personal responsibility.
Unless we're unusual, we've probably accepted the widespread practice of blaming certain individuals and groups when trouble occurs. Most likely, we'll also have people whom we blame for our own difficulties: unloving parents, careless teachers, unfair bosses, and others on an endless list.
However accurate it may be, such blame-placing does nothing constructive. It really serves only to reinforce our bitterness and resentment, thus assuring that more of the same "injustices" will come to us.
The real truth is that we have no complete explanation for the world's individual and social wrongs. While certain individuals are admittedly guilty of wrongdoing, it often turns out that they've also been victims of cruelty or neglect. Our goal, as people committed to a spiritual way of life, is to reise above all blame placing while striving for improvement in our own treatment of others.
Though I may read and hear much to the contrary, I'll resist the notion that certain people or groups must be held accountable for the world's problems. I'll focus my attention, this day, on improvement in my own life.

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Keep It Simple

Hating people is like burning down your own house to get rid of a rat.---Harry Emerson Fosdick
Hate is like an illness. It steals our hope, our love, our relationships. Hate puts distance between people. Hate can give us a false sense of power. Do I use hate to make myself feel important?
Our program tells us to let go of hate. Hate and sobriety don't mix. Hate doesn't let us connect with our Higher Power.
Ours is a program of love and respect. We're taught that if someone treats us wrong, we still should be respectful in our response. Why? Because we're changed by our actions. If we act with hate, we become hateful. If we act in a respectful way, we become respectable.
Prayer for the Day: Hate is the drug of those who are afraid. Higher Power, help me to be free from hate today.
Action for the Day: It's self-centered to hate. Today, I'll read pages 60-62 of Alcoholics Anonymous(Third Edition) about being self-centered.

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Each Day a New Beginning

Your sense of what will bring happiness is so crude and blundering. Try something else as a compass. Maybe the moralists are right and happiness doesn't come from seeking pleasure and ease. --Joanna Field
We think we know what will make us happy. Seldom do we readily accept that painful moments are often the price tags for peaceful, happy times. Nor do we appreciate that happiness lives within each of us; never is it intrinsic to the events we experience. Because we look for happiness "out there" and expect it gift-wrapped in a particular way, we miss the joy of being fully alive each passing moment. How distorted our sense of happiness was before finding our way to this program! How futile our search!
The way still isn't easy every Step we take, but those fleeting moments when we can get outside of ourselves long enough to be fully attentive to the people in our lives, we'll find happiness. We'll find it because it's been there all the time. It flows between us when we open our hearts to give and to receive compassion. Being truly there for another person is the key which unlocks the gate holding happiness back.
I will let someone in today and feel the rush of happiness.

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Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition

Chapter 5 - HOW IT WORKS

Referring to our list again. Putting out of our minds the wrongs others had done, we resolutely looked for our own mistakes. Where had we been selfish, dishonest, self-seeking and frightened? Though a situation had not been entirely our fault, we tried to disregard the other person involved entirely. Where were we to blame? The inventory was ours, not the other man’s. When we saw our faults we listed them. We placed them before us in black and white. We admitted our wrongs honestly and were willing to set these matters straight.

p. 67

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Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories

The Missing Link

He looked at everything as the course of his unhappiness---except alcohol.

When I was eight or nine years old, life suddenly became very difficult. Feelings began to emerge that I did not understand. Depression crept into my life as started to feel alone, even in crowded rooms. In fact, life didn't make much sense to me at all. It's hard to say what sparked all of this, to pinpoint one fact or event that changed everything forever. The fact of the matter was, I was miserable from early on in my life.

p. 280

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Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions

Step Two - "Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity."

Sometimes A.A. comes harder to those who have lost or rejected faith than to those who never had any faith at all, for they think they have tried faith and found it wanting. They have tried the way of faith and the way of no faith. Since both ways have proved bitterly disappointing, they have concluded there is no place whatever for them to go. The roadblocks of indifference, fancied self-sufficiency, prejudice, and defiance often prove more solid and formidable for these people than any erected by the unconvinced agnostic or even the militant atheist. Religion says the existence of God can be proved; the agnostic says it can't be proved; and the atheist claims proof of the nonexistence of God. Obviously, the dilemma of the wanderer from faith is that of profound confusion. He thinks himself lost to the comfort of any
conviction at all. He cannot attain in even a small degree the assurance of the believer, the agnostic, or the atheist. He is the bewildered one.

p. 28

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"God could not be everywhere, and therefore he made mothers."
--Jewish Proverb

"When it comes to love, Mom's the word."
--unknown

"Friends are angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have
trouble."

Laughter, like a drenching rain, settles the dust, cleans and brightens
the world around us, and changes our whole perspective.
--Jan Pishok

A big part of my "conversion" has been full acceptance of myself,
warts and all.
--Mary Zink

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Father Leo's Daily Meditation

ARGUMENTS

"Argument is the worst sort of
conversation."
--Jonathan Swift

Why did I argue so much? Why do I argue so much? Usually it is
because I feel threatened, angry, discounted or I am wrong and I do
not want to admit it.

Today I need to remember that discussion is the better path to follow.
I need to hear and understand what the other person is saying and
from where they are coming. For too long I have argued, fought and
produced enemies - today I wish to embrace the spiritual path of
serenity and reconciliation. Also, I do not want to hurt anymore.
Arguments hurt me. Arguments hurt others. I should, push and scream but
inside afterwards, I hurt. My program today allow my ego to be balanced and
restrained. I try to think before I speak. I consider before I react.
However, when I do get into arguments and say hurtful and painful
things that I do not mean, I am brave enough to say I am sorry.

May the God of peace, love and acceptance be seen in my
relationships.

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"The LORD will fulfill his purpose for me; your love, O LORD,
endures forever--do not abandon the works of your hands."
Psalm 138:8

"Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we
will reap a harvest if we do not give up."
Galatians 6:9

"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and of good courage; do not
be afraid, nor be dismayed, for the LORD your God is with you
wherever you go.
Joshua 1:9

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Daily Inspiration

Our goodness is one of God's many gifts to us. Lord, may I humbly appreciate my good qualities and give thanks to You through my actions.

The value of each gift God gives us is doubled when we share it with someone else. Lord, may I freely give without expectation of something in return even though I know Your constant generosity.

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NA Just For Today

Onward On The Journey

"The progression of recovery is a continuous uphill journey"
Basic Text, p. 79

The longer we stay clean, the steeper and narrower our path seems to become. But God doesn't give us more than we can handle. No matter how difficult the road becomes, no matter how narrow, how winding the turns, there is hope. That hope lies in our spiritual progression.

If we keep showing up at meetings and staying clean, life gets... well, different. The continual search for answers to life's ups and downs can lead us to question all aspects of our lives. Life isn't always pleasant. This is when we must turn to our Higher Power with even more faith. Sometimes all we can do is hold on tight, believing that things will get better.

In time, our faith will produce understanding. We will begin to see the "bigger picture" of our lives. As our relationship with our Higher Power unfolds and deepens, acceptance becomes almost second nature. No matter what happens as we walk through recovery, we rely on our faith in a loving Higher Power and continue onward.

Just for today: I accept that I don't have all the answers to life's questions. Nonetheless, I will have faith in the God of my understanding and continue on the journey of recovery.

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May 13

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
Talent--I don't know what that is. It's will. You dream a dream and then you build it. --Philippe Petit
Even the most accomplished pianists begin at some point by playing simple scales and exercises. With daily practice, their hands learn to find the correct notes and become limber enough to play well. They learn each new piece of music very slowly at first, until, with study and practice, they can play almost without effort.
In the beginning, the pianist only dreams of being an accomplished musician. This dream helps the artist through many hours of practice and study.
Talent is really the combination of a dream and the time spent building it. We develop our ability by devoting time to the skills that interest us. Like the musician, we become talented through daily practice--the daily building of a dream. By developing our talents, we develop who we are.
Who am I becoming today?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
As long as you keep a person down, some part of you has to be down there to hold him down, so it means you cannot soar as you otherwise might. --Marion Anderson
Because of our resentments we sometimes get tense. We say we aren't going to have contact with our parents until they do something we expect of them. Or we hold out on a friend because we want an apology for an injury or injustice.
Sadly, we become more tense, more limited in our own joy, by holding someone else to our expectations. Our lives can be much richer and more fulfilled when we let go of these expectations. We can let go of manipulating or drawing forth the responses we want. Our manipulations and pouting make life too boring and limited. No one else need stand in the way of our pleasure of being adult men.
Today, I will let go of my claims on others so I can be free to soar.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
Your sense of what will bring happiness is so crude and blundering. Try something else as a compass. Maybe the moralists are right and happiness doesn't come from seeking pleasure and ease. --Joanna Field
We think we know what will make us happy. Seldom do we readily accept that painful moments are often the price tags for peaceful, happy times. Nor do we appreciate that happiness lives within each of us; never is it intrinsic to the events we experience. Because we look for happiness "out there" and expect it gift-wrapped in a particular way, we miss the joy of being fully alive each passing moment. How distorted our sense of happiness was before finding our way to this program! How futile our search!
The way still isn't easy every Step we take, but those fleeting moments when we can get outside of ourselves long enough to be fully attentive to the people in our lives, we'll find happiness. We'll find it because it's been there all the time. It flows between us when we open our hearts to give and to receive compassion. Being truly there for another person is the key which unlocks the gate holding happiness back.
I will let someone in today and feel the rush of happiness.


You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
Property Lines
A helpful tool in our recovery, especially in the behavior we call detachment, is learning to identify who owns what. Then we let each person own and possess his or her rightful property.
If another person has an addiction, a problem, a feeling, or a self-defeating behavior, that is their property, not ours. If someone is a martyr, immersed in negativity, controlling, or manipulative, that is their issue, not ours.
If someone has acted and experienced a particular consequence, both the behavior and the consequence belong to that person.
If someone is in denial or cannot think clearly on a particular issue, that confusion belongs to him or her.
If someone has a limited or impaired ability to love or care, that is his or her property, not ours. If someone has no approval or nurturing to give away, that is that persons property.
Peoples lies, deceptions, tricks, manipulations, abusive behaviors, inappropriate behaviors, cheating behaviors, and tacky behaviors belong to them, too. Not us.
Peoples hope and dreams are their property. Their guilt belongs to them too. Their happiness or misery is also theirs. So are their beliefs and messages.
If some people don't like themselves, that is their choice. Other peoples choices are their property, not ours.
What people choose to say and do is their business.
What is our property? Our property includes our behaviors, problems, feelings, happiness, misery, choices, and messages; our ability to love, care, and nurture; our thoughts, our denial, our hopes and dreams for ourselves. Whether we allow ourselves to be controlled, manipulated, deceived, or mistreated is our business.
In recovery, we learn an appropriate sense of ownership. If something isn't ours, we don't take it. If we take it, we learn to give it back. Let other people have their property, and learn to own and take good care of what's ours.
Today, I will work at developing a clear sense of what belongs to me, and what doesn't. If its not mine, I wont keep it. I will deal with my issues, my responsibilities, and myself. I will take my hands off what is not mine.


Today I will wait in quiet and faith for a clear answer before making any decisions. Today I feel secure, trusting that my instincts are guiding me on every step on my path. --Ruth Fishel

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Journey to the Heart

Forgive Yourself

Doesn’t it feel good to forgive yourself? You don’t have to be afraid or reluctant to do that anymore. Forgiving yourself doesn’t mean you’re condemned. It means you’re setting yourself free.

We can gather so much guilt as we go through life. We may blame ourselves for the experiences we’ve had and how we’ve handled them. We may build up resentments against ourselves. We may even resist forgiving ourselves because we think that means saying we were bad and wrong. But not forgiving ourselves when we need to often leads us to return to situations that are unhealthy for us.

Forgiving yourself means you can leave places that feel bad, you can end relationships that no longer work, you can avoid situations that cause you continual pain and grief. Forgiving yourself means you can stop punishing yourself for what you’ve done and what you think you’ve done worng.

You don’t have to hold your mistakes against yourself any longer. You don’t have to deprive yourself of comfort, joy, love, and acceptance. It’s much easier to say, I made a mistake. This isn’t right for me. I don’t like this. This is wrong. Then forgive yourself.

Forgive yourself if you’ve done something wrong. Forgive yourself even if you haven’t done something wrong. Then see how good forgiveness feels. Forgive yourself and be free.

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More language of letting go

Respect your own timelines

“Do you have your “A” license yet?”

I was getting sick pf that question. Everyone I knew in skydiving was pushing through the course, meeting all their requirements, and hurrying to get their license. I knew from the beginning that it wouldn’t do me any good to push. This was a sport I needed to get right, and getting it right meant that I needed to learn at my own pace.

“It’s the journey, not the destination,” I kept telling myself as I watched my fellow sky divers progress, leaving me behind. “Everything happens in its own time.”

Finally, I came up with my response. It was November. I proudly announced, whenever asked about getting my license, that I didn’t plan on having it until June. I said it over, and over, and over. People left me alone. And I actually began to progress rapidly, after giving myself that much time.

In February, a series of events escalated my learning curve. I did my solo jumps, learned to pack my own parachute, and passed my written test. I had now met all the requirements for my “A” license. All that had to be done was submit the information and I’d have my license in hand.

After sending my material off, I waited an appropriate amount of time, then began checking the mail. Week after week, the license didn’t arrive. I waited patiently and continued checking. Toward the end of May, I went into the offices at the skydiving school. I told them I was concerned because my license hadn’t arrived yet.

They checked the records. “There was some confusion with the paperwork,” they said. “But it’s all been straightened out. You’ll have your license soon.”

When did that license arrive? In June, it came in the mail exactly when I said it would.

Some timing in life is out of our hands. Some isn’t. Just as you have power to say what, there’s a lot of power in saying when.

God, help synchronize my timing with yours. Show me if I’m pushing myself unduly or holding myself back.

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Fast-Forward Button
Moving in Real Time by Madisyn Taylor

We all want to push the fast-forward button, but in these times is where we find the juice stuff.

We all go through times when we wish we could press a fast-forward button and propel ourselves into the future and out of our current circumstances. Whether the situation we are facing is minor, or major such as the loss of a loved one, it is human nature to want to move away from pain and find comfort as soon as possible. Yet we all know deep down that we need to work through these experiences in a conscious fashion rather than bury our heads in the sand, because these are the times when we access important information about ourselves and life. The learning process may not be easy, but it is full of lessons that bring us wisdom we cannot find any other way.

The desire to press fast-forward can lead to escapism and denial, both of which only prolong our difficulties and in some cases make them worse. The more direct, clear, and courageous we are in the face of whatever we are dealing with, the more quickly we will move through the situation. Understanding this, we may begin to realize that trying to find the fast-forward button is really more akin to pressing pause. When we truly grasp that the only way out of any situation in which we find ourselves is to go through it, we stop looking for ways to escape and we start paying close attention to what is happening. We realize that we are exactly where we need to be. We remember that we are in this situation in order to learn something we need to know, and we can alleviate some of our pain with the awareness that there is a purpose to our suffering.

When you feel the urge to press the fast-forward button, remember that you are not alone; we all instinctively avoid pain. But in doing so, we often prolong our pain and delay important learning. As you choose to move forward in real time, know that in the long run, this is the least painful way to go. Published with permission from Daily OM

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A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

When a person opens his eyes each morning and rises through sweaty nausea to face frightening reality with bones rattling and nerves screaming; when a person stumbles through the day in a pit of despair, wishing to die, but refusing to die; when a person gets up the next day and does it all over again — well, that takes guts. That takes a kind of real, basic survival courage, a courage that can be put to good use if that person even finds his or her way to The Program. That person has learned courage the hard way, and when that person comes to The Program, he or she will find new and beautiful ways to use it. Have I the courage to keep trying, one day at a time.

Today I Pray

May I put the “gut-to-survive” kind of courage left over from my drinking days into good use in The Program. If I was able to “hang on” enough to live through the miseries of my addiction, may I translate that same will to survive into my recovery program. May I use my courage in new, constructive ways.

Today I Will Remember

God preserve me to help carry out His purpose.

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One More Day

Patience and fortitude conquer all things.
– Ralph Waldo Emerson

Remember how, ass children, we waited for special occasions like birthdays and holidays? The waiting seemed endless. Adults would admonish us, “Have patience. Everything comes to those who wait.”

We were always more than surprised when they seemed to pass more quickly by staying busy, just a our parents had said it would. As adults, we hear that in many instances the only way to conquer a problem is to wait it out. We can do nothing else, for no matter how important the awaited event or the news is, we can no more shorten the time than we could wish a speedy arrival of our birthdays when we were young. Now as then, our only options are to have patience and to stay busy.

Now that I am not as well as before I am learning the true value of patience.

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One Day At A Time

SERENITY
“The final wisdom of life requires not the annulment of incongruity
but the achievement of serenity with and above it.”
Reinhold Niebuhr

When I started coming to Recovery Group meetings, I heard the word "serenity" used frequently. I waited for someone to turn the serenity light switch on for me. I thought if I kept coming, the guy in charge of lights would turn mine on, and then I would possess and understand serenity! But the people in the meetings kept telling me, "You need to work the steps." I began to work them with a vengeance, the way a compulsive person -- such as I am -- tends to function.

With each passing day I have begun to feel more comfortable living in my own skin. My fears, worries about the future, and anxieties have all decreased. I have made a more personal connection with my Higher Power. I have begun to develop friendships with other people in Recovery Group. The loving friendships here have had a huge impact on how I feel about myself. They have caused me to experience more self-love and self-acceptance. I have come to the point where I now know that no matter what happens, things will eventually work out for the best for me.

One day at a time...
I will continue to attend meetings to experience serenity.
~ Karen A.

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AA 'Big Book' - Quote

Instead of regarding ourselves as intelligent agents, spearheads of God's ever advancing Creation, we agnostics and atheists chose to believe that our human intelligence was the last word, the alpha and the omega, the beginning and end of all. Rather vain of us, wasn't it.? - Pg. 49 - We Agnostics

Hour To Hour - Book - Quote

Heavy were the storms and fierce the tides that brought us to this point in recovery. Storms also lie ahead, but after each storm, follows the dawn of calm. The old washes away and the time is right for a clean life.

May I surrender to the Light, God as I understand You, and learn to protect myself during storms.

Inside My Mind

I am changing, I can feel it. I am learning and growing just by being still. I am sensing more than I normally sense and feeling more than I normally feel. I am grateful to feel alive and to recognize that life is a spiritual journey. All my life circumstances are spiritual challenges, opportunities to see new sides of myself, new sides of life. Life surrounds me; it is inside, outside and everywhere. If I am open and still inside, life is there. If I am not lost in a million unnecessary distractions, life is there, spirit is there-waiting to be seen and felt.

I allow my mind its freedom.

- Tian Dayton PhD

Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote

The most convincing message we can carry to other chemical dependents is our own example of a contented recovery. And kindness. To the desolate alcoholic/addict, an act of kindness can be the difference between getting 'better' or getting 'bitter.'

I remember that I may be the only Big Book some people ever see.

"Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book

You are the problem, but you are also the solution.

Time for Joy - Book - Quote

Today I will wait in quiet and faith for a clear answer before making any decisions. Today I feel secure, trusting that my instincts are guiding me on every step on my path.

Alkiespeak - Book - Quote

I put my head in the oven and turned on the gas. But nothing happened... They'd turned the gas off, I hadn't paid the bill. - Anon.