[bluidkiti]

May 17

Daily Reflections

. . . . AND FORGIVE

Under very trying conditions I have had, again and again,
to forgive others--also myself.
AS BILL SEE IT p. 268

Forgiveness of self and forgiveness of others are just two
currents in the same river, both hindered or shut off
completely by the dam of resentment. Once that dam is lifted,
both currents can flow. The Steps of A.A. allow me to see how
resentment has built up and subsequently blocked off this
flow in my life. The Steps provide a way by which my
resentments may - by the grace of God as I understand Him -
be lifted. It is as a result of this solution that I can find
the necessary grace which enables me to forgive myself and
others.

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Twenty-Four Hours A Day

A.A. Thought For The Day

A lot of well-meaning people treat alcoholics like the priest
and the Levite. They pass by on the other side by scorning
them and telling them what low people they are, with no
willpower. Whereas, they really have fallen for alcohol, in
the same way as the man in the story fell among robbers. And
the member of A.A. who is working with others is like the
Good Samaritan. Am I moved with compassion? Do I take care
of another alcoholic whenever I can?

Meditation For The Day

I must constantly live in preparation for something better to
come. All of life is a preparation for something better. I must
anticipate the morning to come. I must feel, in the night of
sorrow, that understanding joy that tells of confident
expectation of better things to come. "Sorrow may endure for
a night, but joy cometh in the morning." Know that God has
something better in store for you, as long as you are making
yourself ready for it. All your existence in this world is a
training for a better life to come.

Prayer For The Day

I pray that when life is over, I will return to an eternal,
spaceless life with God. I pray that I may make this life a
preparation for a better life to come.

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As Bill Sees It

Beyond Agnosticism, p. 137

We of agnostic temperament found that as soon as we were able to
lay aside prejudice and express even a willingness to believe in a
Power greater than ourselves, we commenced to get results, even
though it was impossible for any of us to fully define or comprehend
that Power, which is God.

<< << << >> >> >>

"Many people soberly assure me that man has no better place in the
universe than that of another competing organism, fighting its way
through life only to perish in the end. Hearing this, I feel that I still
prefer to cling to the so-called illusion of religion, which in my own
experience has meaningfully told me something very different."

1. Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 46
2. Letter, 1946

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Walk in Dry Places

Rehearsing Outcomes
Serenity
Imagination is undeniably a human faculty that accounts for much progress. Compulsive people, however, can use imagination in a most destructive way.
One destructive practice is that of rehearsing i our minds the outcome of some treat or problem, usually expecting the worst. While we should not avoid facing real problems, it's wrong to assume that the worst will always happen. This tendency to anticipate the worst possible outcome can actually produce the very outcome we'd like to avoid, thus making it a self-fulfilling prophecy.
We can deal with such pessimistic thinking by reminding ourselves that God is in charge and will bring our good to pass in just the right way.If we're going to rehearse anything, let it be an outcome that includes the best for everybody, including ourselves.
I'll expect the best today, knowing that all outcomes and results are in God's hands.

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Keep It Simple

Each day provides its own gifts.---Ruth P. Freedman
Spiritual growth is the greatest gift we can receive. And we earn it through taking risks. There is much risk involved in working the Steps: The risk of admitting that we're out of control. The risk of turning our will and lives over to a Power greater than ourselves. The risk of letting go of character defects. The risk of making amends to people we've harmed. The risk of admitting our wrongs. The risk of telling our stories as we carry the message of hope. To grow spiritually, we need these adventures. These challenges. These risk.
Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, help me to take the risks that I need in order to grow.
Action for the Day: I will look at today as an adventure with my Higher Power. I will list the fears I'll need to let go of.

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Each Day a New Beginning

Loving allows us to live and through living we grow in loving. --Evelyn Mandel
Many days it seems too easy to be centered on ourselves, wondering if others love us rather than loving others. On those days, we may have to act "as if" we love the persons who live on our pathways. The unexpected gift is that we do begin to feel both love and loved. Living becomes easier, and so does loving. Acting "as if" is a good way of learning those behaviors that don't feel natural. And in time, acting "as if" is necessary no more.
I can behave in any way I decide to. I can choose to think about others, and love them. I can choose to forget myself, today.

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Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition

Chapter 5 - HOW IT WORKS

We never apologize to anyone for depending upon our Creator. We can laugh at those who think spirituality the way of weakness. Paradoxically, it is the way of strength. The verdict of the ages is that faith means courage. All men of faith have courage. They trust their God. We never apologize for God. Instead we let Him demonstrate, through us, what He can do. We ask Him to remove our fear and direct our attention to what He would have us be. At once, we commence to outgrow fear.

p. 68

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Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories

The Missing Link

He looked at everything as the course of his unhappiness---except alcohol.

Whatever the problem, I soon found what appeared to be the solution to everything. At age fifteen, I traveled with my family to Israel. My brother was to be bar mitzvahed atop Masada. There was no legal drinking age, so I found it quite easy to walk into a bar and order a drink. New Year's Eve fell in the middle of the trip, and since the Jewish calendar celebrates a different New Year than the Gregorian calendar, the only celebration was being held in the American sector of a university. I got drunk for the first time that night. It changed everything.

p. 282

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Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions

Step Two - "Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity."

Another crowd of A.A.'s says: "We were plumb disgusted with religion and all its works. The Bible, we said, was full of nonsense; we could cite it chapter and verse, and we couldn't see the Beatitudes for the `begats.' In spots its morality was impossibly good; in others it seemed impossibly bad. But it was the morality of the religionists themselves that really got us down. We gloated over the hypocrisy, bigotry, and crushing self-righteousness that clung to so many `believers' even in their Sunday best. How we loved to shout the damaging fact that millions of the `good men of religion' were still killing one another off in the name of God. This all meant, of course, that we had substituted negative for positive thinking. After we came to A.A., we had to recognize that this trait had been an ego feeding proposition. In belaboring the sins of some religious people, we could feel superior to all of them. Moreover, we could avoid looking at some of our own shortcomings. Self-righteousness, the very thing that we had contemptuously condemned in others, was our own besetting evil. This phony form of respectability was our undoing, so far as faith was concerned. But finally, driven to A.A., we learned better.

p. 30

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Do you know how important now is? Enjoy it as much as you can,
because no matter how much you want to hold on to "now," it's going
to be "was."
--Sid Caesar

All yesterdays are canceled, and tomorrow is but a speculation, today
is the day God has made.
--SweetyZee

If it was going to be easy to raise kids, it never would have started
with something called labor.
--Cited in Even More of...The Best of BITS & PIECES

Aristotle said: "Those who say there is only one road to Rome don't
know Rome very well." New Thought teaches us not only to tolerate
but to honor all paths to God. All religions have love at their core.
We are meant to learn to love one another, love God and love
ourselves. No religion is bigger than God.
--Mary Manin Morrissey

"In forgiving ourselves, we make the journey from guilt for what we
have done (or not done) to celebration of what we have become."
--Joan Borysenko

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Father Leo's Daily Meditation

TOLERANCE

"Tolerance is the positive and
cordial effort to understand
another's beliefs, practices and
habits without necessarily sharing
or accepting them."
--Joshua Liebman

Today I am able to tolerate people, listen to what they are saying and
if I do not agree with them, it is okay! I do not have to agree with a
person to tolerate or befriend him.

This is a new attitude for me and is part of my spiritual program.
When I was drinking, I would not listen to people who had ideas
different to mine. I would not tolerate people who had a different
philosophy on life. Other religions were discounted as being cultish,
crude or superstitious. I have learned that my disease of alcoholism
made me very arrogant and narrow in my attitude to life - I rejected
two-thirds of the world as being heretical!

Today I can tolerate and learn from people who view God, the world
and morality differently from me. Spirituality is teaching me to be
open and accepting.

Lord, may I find traces of Your love in different philosophies and
religions.

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Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and
supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made
known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all
understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through
Christ Jesus.
Phil. 4:6-7

Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow
to speak, slow to wrath: for the wrath of man worketh not the
righteousness of God.
James 1:19-20

"You, dear children, are from God and have overcome them, because
the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world."
I John 4:4

"For we walk by faith, not by sight."
2 Corinthians 5:7

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Daily Inspiration

Change first from the inside and the other things will follow. Lord, bless me the desire to become a better person and the firmness of will to succeed because I know that together we have the power to change my life.

God never promised to make your troubles go away, but He did promise to give you the strength and power to overcome them. Lord, when I am weak, strengthen me, when I forget, remind me and when the day is done, accept my thanksgiving because without You I am nothing.

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NA Just For Today

"Defects"

"We were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character."
Step Six

After taking the Fifth Step, many of us spend some time considering "the exact nature of our wrongs" and the part they'd played in making us who we were. What would our lives be like without, say, our arrogance?

Sure, arrogance had kept us apart from our fellows, preventing us from enjoying and learning from them. But arrogance had also served us well, propping up our ego in the face of critically low self-esteem. What advantage would be gained if our arrogance were removed, and what support would we be left with?

With arrogance gone, we would be one step closer to being restored to our proper place among others. We would become capable of appreciating their company and their wisdom and their challenges as their equals. Our support and guidance would come, if we chose, from the care offered us by our Higher Power; "low self-esteem" would cease to be an issue.

One by one, we examined our character defects this way, and found them all defective—after all, that's why they're called defects. And were we entirely ready to have God remove all of them? Yes.

Just for today: I will thoroughly consider all my defects of character to discover whether I am ready to have the God of my understanding remove them.

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You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
Growth is the only evidence of life. --John, Cardinal Newman
We should be thankful we can never reach complete serenity. If we could, we would never have the need to improve ourselves. We would stop growing, because there would be no reason to learn any more than we already know, and we would become bored. Even the things which seem so serene in nature usually contain a struggle within. A lake, with a swan gliding slowly across it, seems a perfect picture of serenity. But, unseen below the surface, fish, turtles, and frogs struggle each day for survival.
The important thing is to accept the struggles as a part of the beauty of life, not as blemishes on it.
What struggles shall help me grow better today?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
What sort of God would it be who only pushed from without? --Goethe
Oh, we hate to be pushed! We get upset and angry when someone is pushing on us. What man likes it? Sometimes God does pushing, and it takes a while for us to realize it is God's pressure on us that we feel. Our natural reaction is to resist and push back.
When we keep getting headaches or stomachaches, maybe we should listen for the message. An unsettled feeling in our lives about women, money, health, work, or something else may carry a message for us. God might be pushing from within. In this program we try to develop our ability to hear God's will for us. Sometimes a problem is, in fact, a spiritual message. When we stop resisting and start listening, we soon grow wiser and stronger.
God, your message is not always clear to me. Today, I will try to put aside my own habit of pushing back so I can have a clearer mind to receive it.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
Loving allows us to live and through living we grow in loving. --Evelyn Mandel
Many days it seems too easy to be centered on ourselves, wondering if others love us rather than loving others. On those days, we may have to act "as if" we love the persons who live on our pathways. The unexpected gift is that we do begin to feel both love and loved. Living becomes easier, and so does loving. Acting "as if" is a good way of learning those behaviors that don't feel natural. And in time, acting "as if" is necessary no more.
I can behave in any way I decide to. I can choose to think about others, and love them. I can choose to forget myself, today.


You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
Boundaries
Sometimes, life and people seem to push and push. Because we are so used to pain, we may tell ourselves it doesn't hurt. Because we are so used to people controlling and manipulating us, we may tell ourselves there is something wrong with us.
There's nothing wrong with us. Life is pushing and hurting to get our attention. Sometimes, the pain and pushing are pointing toward a lesson. The lesson may be that we've become too controlling. Or maybe were being pushed to own our power to take care of ourselves. The issue is boundaries.
If something or somebody is pushing us to our limit, that's exactly what's happening: were being pushed to our limits. We can be grateful for the lesson that's here to help us explore and set our boundaries.
Today, I will give myself permission to set the limits I want and need to set in my life.


Today I know that with every in-breath I am breathing in powerful healing energy. And with every out-breath I am letting go. I am letting go of all anxiety, all stress...all negativity that is standing in the way of my feeling good about myself. --Ruth Fishel

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Journey to the Heart

Happiness Is Within Reach

What we need to be happy is a question we often forget to ask ourselves.

Is there something you could do for yourself that would make you happy, put a spring in your step, a smile in your heart? Many of us haven’t asked ourselves this question enough. Some of us haven’t asked it at all. Or if we have, we haven’t answered it. Instead we diligently search for our path, for the way through our lives, through our current situation or circumstance, never taking time to ask ourselves what would make us happy and what would feel good to us. Then we wonder why life feels so hard, so difficult and unrewarding.

Discovering what would make us happy can help us through any difficulty in life. It can help us through the quieter moments of our day. It can help us make larger, more significant decisions. It can help us in our work. Especially if we look in our hearts and answer honestly.

What would make you happy? It’s a simple question, but one with profound consequences. Asking and answering that question, then acting on it, is often our path– a path that will lead to the next step, a path that is in our best interests. We will be choosing our destiny. And the destiny we’re choosing is joy.

What would make you happy? Ask yourself often. Think about your answer. You may well find that the answer is within reach.

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More language of letting go

Sometimes it takes a lot to say when

At times we say when with relative ease. We say, “No thanks,this isn’t right for me,” and we walk away. There are other times when it’s harder to set a boundary or enforce a new limit or decision with people.

Jan and Patrick had a tough time saying when to their grown daughter, Elizabeth. Elizabeth had moved out of the house. She wanted her independence. But she still wanted her mom and dad’s money. She would make deals with them– help me buy this car, or put this deposit on an apartment, then I’ll pay you back. Then she wouldn’t keep her part of the bargain. Mom and Dad continued to send money, even though they had threatened, warned, and tried to deal with the situation in a rational, loving way. They didn’t want to alienate their daughter. And they didn’t want her suffering, which is what Elizabeth claimed she would do if she was “cut off.”

One day, Jan and Patrick sat down with the calculator. They figured out how much support they’d been contributing to Elizabeth’s life. They decided it was time to shut off the money supply. “The only time she called was when she wanted money anyway,” Patrick said. “Jan and I figured that there wasn’t much left of the relationship to lose.”

They gave Elizabeth a three-month warning. The money faucet was shutting off on this date. When that date arrived, the money stopped. A few days later, Elizabeth called back, ranting and raving. She said not only she, but all her friends, thought her parents were despicable for not helping her out, the way good parents should.

“The guilt I felt was overwhelming,” Jan said. “But I also knew that was one of Elizabeth’s favorite tricks. She used our guilt to control us. It was painful. Setting this boundary, this limit, took most of our energy for that entire year– the year of cutting Elizabeth off financially, pushing her out of the nest.”

It’s now been a few years since Jan and Patrick set that boundary. Elizabeth has taken financial responsibility for herself. She didn’t starve, nor did she go homeless. She was much more resourceful than her parents believed. Jan and Patrick still send her gifts, still take her out for dinner, but they no longer support their grown daughter financially. Their relationship with their daughter has shifted onto new ground. Conversations are no longer about money.

Saying when can be uncomfortable for the person saying it, and for the person hearing it. It sometimes involves more than an immediate decision or reaction; it involves a lifestyle change for the people involved. You may need to stand behind your when with focus, dedication, and commitment.

Don’t expect it to be easy to say when and mean what you say. Leave room for other people to have their emotions about your boundaries; give yourself room to have some feelings,too.

God, grant me the energy and commitment to say when and stand behind it.

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Exercising Flexibility
Mind Stretching by Madisyn Taylor

When we are flexible we allow for situations we could not have planned and so the world continues to surprise and delight us.

Flexibility is the capacity to bend without breaking, as well as a continual willingness to change or be changed in order to accommodate new circumstances. People with flexible minds are open to shifting their course when necessary or useful; they are not overly attached to things going the way they had planned. This enables them to take advantage of opportunities that a more rigid person would miss out on. It can also make life a lot more fun. When we are flexible, we allow for situations we could not have planned, and so the world continues to surprise and delight us.

Since reality is in a constant state of flux, it doesn’t make sense to be rigid or to cling to any one idea of what is happening or what is going to happen. We are more in tune with reality when we are flexible. Being in tune enables us to adjust to the external environment and other people as they change and grow. When we are rigid or stuck in our ways, instead of adjusting to the world around us we hunker down, clinging to a concept of reality rather than reality itself. When we do this, we cut ourselves off from life, and we miss out on valuable opportunities, as well as a lot of joy.

Just as we create flexibility in our bodies by stretching physically, we can create limberness in our minds by stretching mentally. Every day we have the opportunity to exercise our flexibility. We can do this in small ways such as taking a different route home from work or changing our exercise routine. On a larger scale, we can rearrange the furniture or redo a room in our house. If these are things we already do regularly, we can stretch our minds by imagining several different possibilities for how the next year will unfold. As we do this, our minds become more supple and open, and when changes come our way, we are able to accommodate and flow with the new reality. Published with permission from Daily OM

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A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

If we felt guilty, degraded or ashamed or either our addiction itself or the things we did while “under the influence,” that served to magnify our feelings of being outcasts. On occasion, we secretly feared or actually believed that we deserved every painful feeling: we thought, at times, that we truly were outsiders. The dark tunnel of our lives seemed formidable and unending. We couldn’t even voice our feelings and could hardly bear to think about them. So we soon drank or used again. Do I remember well what it used to be like?

Today I Pray

May I remember how often, during my days of using chemicals, I felt alone with my shame and guilt. The phony jollity of a drinking party or the shallow relationships struck up at a bar could not keep me from feeling like an outsider. May I appreciate the chance to make new friends through the fellowship of the group. May I know that my relationships now will be saner, less dependent, more mature.

Today I Will Remember

Thank God for new Friends.

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One More Day

When you did another out of trouble, you find a place to bury your own.
– Anonymous

When acting the way people expect us to, we may help others, but does it really come from the heart? Frequently people act not out of compassion or caring, but because that’s how they feel others will expect them to behave.

When helping others in a completely unselfish manner, we need no kudos from anyone, for we have no ulterior motive other than helpfulness. Willingness to assist other people with their problems crates soe freedom from our own.

I will know I have become less selfish when I don’t have a moment’s hesitation before helping another human being.

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One Day At A Time

The Human Spirit
The human spirit is stronger than anything that can happen to it.
Unknown

I spent most years of my life feeling like a damaged person, one who was permanently and irreparably defective. I am the survivor of abuse, and had been a practicing compulsive overeater since early childhood. The only way I knew myself was broken, hopeless, and damaged beyond repair. On the days when I could manage to have a goal, my goal was to make the best of it ... and to simply survive the remainder of my days on this earth.

Recovery has transformed my view of myself and my experience of life. In receiving the love, support and guidance of my friends on this journey I began to see a glimmer of hope. With the loving care of my sponsors I began to take the Steps, and I learned to live them out ... one day at a time.

In taking the Steps and living them out, I found my buried spirit, and I found that it was alive and well! In recovery I became reacquainted with the spiritual part of myself that I thought was lost forever. In this connection, I learned to live, laugh, and hope again. My spiritual connection is stronger than anything that can happen to me. This is the truth in my life today, and it transforms me to peace, joy, and love greater than I had ever dreamed.

One Day at a Time . . .
I will practice Step Eleven, and improve my conscious contact with God. I will choose to live in connection with my inner spirit.
~ Cate

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AA 'Big Book' - Quote

Our Society then entered a fearsome and exciting adolescent period. The test that it faced was this: Could these large numbers of erstwhile erratic alcoholics successfully meet and work together? Would there be quarrels over membership, leadership, and money? Would there be strivings for power and prestige? Would there be schisms which would split A.A. apart? Soon A.A. was beset by these very problems on every side and in every group. But out of this frightening and at first disrupting experience the conviction grew that A.A.'s had to hang together or die separately. We had to unify our Fellowship or pass off the scene. - Pgs. xviii-xix - 4th. Edition - Forward To The Second Edition

Hour To Hour - Book - Quote

We are told we have free will. Yet as that fix, pill, drink, smoke, or snort beckons, pleads for us to partake, we often feel there is no free will in addiction. When that 'force' pleads with us, we must pray for God's will, not ours, and we must make a contact with a clean and sober person in recovery.

Please God, as I understand You, help me find a person in the fellowship to talk to, now.

Giving My Body a Voice

Today I will write in my journal as a part of my body. I might say something like, 'I am your back and I want to cry. I am tired of being silent and this is what I want you to hear.' Or maybe I'll say, 'as your stomach I want to rebel. I want to relax, and let go of all this'..'Or I am your legs and I wish you appreciated me. I carry you all around the world but you are constantly wishing I were different.' I will let my body parts have a voice and scribble their thoughts onto paper them I will read what they have said to me and wonder about what they have told me.

I will put pen to paper.

- Tian Dayton PhD

Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote

Whatever our problems, when we dwell on the problem, the problem gets bigger. When we dwell on the solution, the solution gets bigger.

I don't tell my Higher Power how big my problem is, I tell my problem how big my Higher Power is.

"Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book

'Why' questions keep you in the problem while 'How' questions keep you in the solution.

Time for Joy - Book - Quote

Today I know that with every in-breath I am breathing in powerful healing energy. And with every out-breath I am letting go. I am letting go of all anxiety, all stress, all negativity that is standing in the way of my feeling good about myself.

Alkiespeak - Book - Quote

Only those who have traveled the road know where the holes are deepest. - Chinese Proverb.