[bluidkiti]

May 20

Daily Reflections

ONE DAY AT A TIME

Above all, take it one day at a time.
AS BILL SEES IT, p.11

Why do I kid myself that I must stay away from a drink for only one day,
when I know perfectly well I must never drink again as long as I live? I
am not kidding myself because one day at a time is probably the only
way I can reach the long-range objective of staying sober.
If I determine that I shall never drink again as long as I live, I set myself
up. How can I be sure I won't drink when I have no idea what the future
may hold?
On a day-at-a-time basis, I am confident I can stay away from a drink
for one day. So I set out with confidence. At the end of the day, I have
the reward of achievement. Achievement feels good and that makes me
want more!

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Twenty-Four Hours A Day

A.A. Thought For The Day
If we get up in a meeting and tell something about ourselves in order to
help the other person, we feel a whole lot better. It's the old law of the
more you give the more you get. Witnessing and confession are part of
keeping sober. You never know when you may help somebody. Helping
others is one of the best ways to stay sober yourself. And the
satisfaction you get out of helping a fellow human being is one of the
finest experiences you can have. Am I helping others?

Meditation For The Day
Without God, no real victory is ever won. All the military victories of
great conquerors have passed into history. The world might be better off
without military conquerors. The real victories are won in the
spiritual realm. "He that conquers himself is greater than he who
conquers a city." The real victories are victories over sin and
temptation, leading to a victorious and abundant life. Therefore,
keep a brave and trusting heart. Face all your difficulties in the spirit of
conquest. Remember that where God is, there is the true victory.

Prayer For The Day
I pray that the forces of evil in my life will flee before God's presence. I
pray that with God I will win the real victory over myself.

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As Bill Sees It

Defects and Repairs, p. 140

More than most people, the alcoholic leads a double life. He is very
much the actor. To the outer world he presents his stage character.
This is the one he likes his fellows to see. He wants to enjoy a
certain reputation, but knows in his heart he doesn't deserve it.

<< << << >> >> >>

Guilt is really the reverse side of the coin of pride. Guilt aims at
self-destruction, and pride aims at the destruction of others.

<< << << >> >> >>

"The moral inventory is a cool examination of the damages that
occurred to us during life and a sincere effort to look at them in a
true perspective. This has the effect of taking the ground glass out of
us, the emotional substance that still cuts and inhibits."

1. Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 73
2. Grapevine, June 1961
3. Letter, 1957

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Walk in Dry Places

Gratitude is not natural.
Gratitude
"Nobody ever gave me a helping hand," a young alcoholic complained, having handed in prison. "My life has been one bad break after another."
While this person indeed had bad breaks, it's doubtful that he'd never been given a helping hand by somebody. If we have no gratitude, it's likely taht we don't ever recognize a helping hand when it is extended. We may have believed any assistance we took was our right, even resenting our benefactors.
The remedy for such immature thinking is a conscious effort to vultivate gratitude. IF we're not aware of feeling it, we can at least act as if we have it. Thank people for any favor, no matter how small. Express appreciation for the wonderful people around you. Give people praise at every opportunity.
This will help start a current of gratitude that can be amplified in time. You'll come to recognize many helping hands.
Today I'll be grateful and appreciative of everything in my life. I'll let gratitude build up in my life until I can feel it and others can sense that I have it.

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Keep It Simple

And if the blind lead the blind, both shall fall into the ditch. ---Matt. 15:14
The Twelve Step programs are sometime called self-help programs. But they're not really, because we all help each other. We don't stay sober by ourselves. Sometimes we call Twelve Step programs peer programs. And they are. All of us equal. No one is an expert. But we need to be careful who we choose for a sponsor. We each need to find someone who has been sober longer than us. Someone who understands the Steps. Someone who lives by them. Some we want to be like. We need to stick with the winners.
Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, I know I'm like a blind person who is just beginning to see. Help me follow the path of those who see better than I do.
Action for the Day: Today, I'll list the people in my program I go to for help. Am I sticking with the winners?

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Each Day a New Beginning

It only takes one person to change your life--you. --Ruth Casey
Change is not easy, but it's absolutely unavoidable. Doors will close. Barriers will surface. Frustrations will mount. Nothing stays the same forever, and it's such folly to wish otherwise. Growth accompanies positive change; determining to risk the outcome resulting from a changed behavior or attitude will enhance our self-perceptions. We will have moved forward; in every instance our lives will be influenced by making a change that only each of us can make.
We have all dreaded the changes we knew we had to make. Perhaps even now we fear some impending changes. Where might they take us? It's difficult accepting that the outcome is not ours to control. Only the effort is ours. The solace is that positive changes, which we know are right for us and other people in our lives, are never going to take us astray. In fact, they are necessary for the smooth path just beyond this stumbling block.
When we are troubled by circumstances in our lives, a change is called for, a change that we must initiate. When we reflect on our recent as well as distant past, we will remember that the changes we most dreaded again and again have positively influenced our lives in untold ways.
Change ushers in glad, not bad, tidings.

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Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition

Chapter 5 - HOW IT WORKS

Whatever our ideal turns out to be, we must be willing to grow toward it. We must be willing to make amends where we have done harm, provided that we do not bring about still more harm in so doing. In other words, we treat sex as we would any other problem. in meditation, we ask God what we should do about each specific matter. The right answer will come, if we want it.

p. 69

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Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories

The Missing Link

He looked at everything as the course of his unhappiness---except alcohol.

As the feelings of hopelessness and depression progressed, so did my drinking. Thoughts of suicide came more and more frequently. It felt as if things were never going to change. Progress with my therapist came to almost a complete halt. The hopelessness was compounded by the fact that the one thing that was bringing me relief, the one thing I counted on to take the pain away, was ultimately destroying me. The end, I figured, was close.

p. 283

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Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions

Step Two - "Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity."

Now let's take the guy full of faith, but still reeking of alcohol. He believes he is devout. His religious observance is scrupulous. He's sure he still believes in God, but suspects that God doesn't believe in him. He takes pledges and more pledges. Following each, he not only drinks again, but acts worse than the last time. Valiantly he tries to fight alcohol, imploring God's help, but the help doesn't come. What, then, can be the matter?

pp. 31-32

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Thoughts have power. Thoughts are energy. You can make your world
or break it by your thinking.
--Susan Taylor

When life seems to be going in a direction you don't want, take a
moment and recognize all the wonderful gifts in your life. This really
helps you change your perspective and appreciate things once again.
--unknown

"Find places of healing. Discover people, things and places that
nourish your soul, bring you back to center, help you heal."
--Melody Beattie

What a lovely surprise to finally discover how unlonely being alone can
be.
--Ellen Burstyn

Lord, help me to remember that nothing is going to happen to me today
that You and I together can't handle.

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Father Leo's Daily Meditation

RELIGION

"You have not converted a man
because you have silenced him."

--Viscount John Morley

I need to remember that you cannot force a person into faith. You
cannot make a person believe. You cannot bribe a person into prayer.
So much of my early religion was "a deal": you do this and you will get
this. If you do this for God and His church you will be happy and
successful. There always seemed to be a "payoff" with God, or that was
how it seemed.

I think many of the silent majority sense the same kind of thing; God has
got lost in "the business" of religion. Spirituality accepts the pain,
confusion and anger of this silent majority and says, "find a God as you
understand Him." Discover your power in your life - and then God will
be perceived.

Lord, in my silence is the "shout" heard.

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The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not be in want. He makes me lie down
in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he restores my soul.
He guides me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake. Even though
I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for
you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. You prepare
a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head
with oil; my cup overflows. Surely goodness and love will follow me all
the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever.
Psalms 23

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Daily Inspiration

You can keep things in perspective by realizing that not much in life is as urgent as others would like you to believe. Lord, help me to know and stay focused on that which is really important to me.

Our time here is short and there is still so much to be done. Lord, please let me do a little more for You today so that the world may be a little better because of me.

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NA Just For Today

Coming Out Of Isolation

"We find ourselves doing and enjoying things that we never thought we would be doing."
Basic Text, p. 98

Active addiction kept us isolated for many reasons. In the beginning, we avoided family and friends so they wouldn't find out we were using. Some of us avoided all nonaddicts, fearing moral backlash and legal repercussions. We belittled people who had "normal" lives with families and hobbies; we called them "uncool" believing we could never enjoy the simple pleasures of life. Eventually, we even avoided other addicts because we didn't want to share our drugs. Our lives narrowed, and our concerns were confined to the daily maintenance of our disease.

Today, our lives are much fuller. We enjoy activities with other recovering addicts. We have time for our families. And we've discovered many other pursuits that give us pleasure. What a change from the past! We can live life just as fully as the "normal" people we once scorned. Enjoyment has returned to our lives, a gift of recovery.

Just for today: I can find pleasure in the simple routines of daily living.

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You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
For nothing can be sole or whole that has not been rent. --W. B. Yeats
The maple out front is young and healthy, but it grows in the shape of a Y. Neighborhood tree experts have warned that as it grows, it will split in half as the weight of the two main branches pull down against each other. One of these two beautiful branches, already lush with new leaves, must be cut. But once pruned, the remaining branch will straighten as it reaches for the sun. It will grow faster, and the whole tree will live many years longer--all by cutting it back today.
Sometimes we are like this tree. We go in too many directions, and can't seem to do any one thing well. When this happens, we need to give something up, to choose which direction we want and stick with it. The results will be well worth the price.
What is holding me back from growth?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
Truth is a demure lady, much too ladylike to knock you on the head and drag you to her cave. She is there, but the people must want her and seek her out. --William F.Buckley, Jr.
As we develop a deeper and more reliable friendship with ourselves, we have little hunches or inner blips of feeling that tell us private truths. Ancient scriptures called it "a still, small voice." We usually sense this inner message somewhere in our body. Some men say it's in the heart, others say in the gut, or ear, or on their shoulders. When we are too focused on what others think and feel and what the world says is truth, we don't notice our inner voice; it doesn't get much chance to develop. It never hits us over the head; it requires silence and respect to be heard.
As we follow the Steps, we learn to regularly visit the cave of this demure lady, Truth, and seek out her wisdom. The more we listen and the more we respect the truths we receive in our quietness, the more wisdom we are given.
I will listen to the personal wisdom whispered by that still, small voice within.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
It only takes one person to change your life--you. --Ruth Casey
Change is not easy, but it's absolutely unavoidable. Doors will close. Barriers will surface. Frustrations will mount. Nothing stays the same forever, and it's such folly to wish otherwise. Growth accompanies positive change; determining to risk the outcome resulting from a changed behavior or attitude will enhance our self-perceptions. We will have moved forward; in every instance our lives will be influenced by making a change that only each of us can make.
We have all dreaded the changes we knew we had to make. Perhaps even now we fear some impending changes. Where might they take us? It's difficult accepting that the outcome is not ours to control. Only the effort is ours. The solace is that positive changes, which we know are right for us and other people in our lives, are never going to take us astray. In fact, they are necessary for the smooth path just beyond this stumbling block.
When we are troubled by circumstances in our lives, a change is called for, a change that we must initiate. When we reflect on our recent as well as distant past, we will remember that the changes we most dreaded again and again have positively influenced our lives in untold ways.
Change ushers in glad, not bad, tidings.


You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
Sadness
Ultimately, to grieve our losses means to surrender to our feelings.
So many of us have lost so much, have said so many good byes; have been through so many changes. We may want to hold back the tides of change, not because the change isn't good, but because we have had so much change, so much loss.
Sometimes, when we are in the midst of pain and grief, we become shortsighted, like members of a tribe described in the movie Out of Africa.
If you put them in prison, one character said, describing this tribe, they die.
Why? asked another character.
Because they cant grasp the idea that they'll be let out one day. They think its permanent, so they die.
Many of us have so much grief to get through. Sometimes we begin to believe grief, or pain, is a permanent condition.
The pain will stop. Once felt and released, our feelings will bring us to a better place than where we started. Feeling our feelings, instead of denying or minimizing them, is how we heal from our past and move forward into a better future. Feeling our feelings is how we let go.
It may hurt for a moment, but peace and acceptance are on the other side. So is a new beginning.
God, help me fully embrace and finish my endings, so I may be ready for my new beginnings.


Today I will look at all my fears in a new light. I can now see them as a result of my thinking and will turn over all my fear thoughts to my Higher Power. Fear no longer owns me or is a threat to my day. --Ruth Fishel

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Journey to the Heart

Value the Fragrances of the Universe

I stopped at the small gas station to fill the tank and get a cup of coffee en route through northern California. “Did you know that the world’s largest manufacturer of aromatherapy products is right here in town? asked the attendant. His remark reminded me of the power of our sense of smell to affect how we feel. We are surrounded by odors, but unless one is particularly noxious, we tend to ignore the effects of the scents we are inhaling. And we tend to underestimate the power of certain scents to help us heal.

Nurture your sense of smell. Let it come alive. Use its power to help you heal. A bundle of white sage burning in a sea shell on the table. The wisp of cedar smoke from the fireplace. A cone of incense filling the air. Lavender oil in the bath. Drops of eucalyptus sprinkled in the shower, its penetrating aroma mingling with the steam. A vanilla candle on the nightstand next to your bed. The smell of a forest, fresh with rain. Ocean air, salty and damp. The rich sawdust smell of redwood. Comforting smells from childhood– bread baking in the oven, freshly baked chocolate cake on the counter, chicken frying in the pan. The smell of our favorite people, their hair, their clothes, their cologne.

Value your sense of smell, the way it connects you to yourself, to memory, to emotion, to the universe and the world around you. Use your sense of smell to help you discover what’s right for you. Surround yourself with the fragrances of the universe. Let them help you heal.

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More language of letting go

Say when it’s time to get something done

Yesterday we talked about using deadlines to help ourselves let go. Self-imposed deadlines can also be a way to focus our energy on a task at hand, especially one we’ve been putting off.

“I’m going to get up and have the house cleaned by 10:00 A.M.” “I’m going to lock myself in the house and have this report written in two days.” “I’m going to get the yard cleaned up by the end of the week.”

There are many times in life when it’s appropriate and healthy to listen to our internal clock about what to do and when to do it. Going with the flow can be a spiritual process, but there are other times when it’s helpful to use self-imposed deadlines to help us get the job done.

Do you need to set a deadline for yourself?

God, help me set appropriate deadlines for myself.

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Intelligence Speaks for Itself
The Fear of Appearing Dumb by Madisyn Taylor

In trying to project an image of intelligence, you deny others the opportunity to know the terrific individual you are.

The universal need to be accepted by others can be a barrier that prevents us from being ourselves around them. When we fear that the people we encounter will perceive us as inept or unintelligent, we frequently try to flaunt our grasp of large words or clever witticisms or our professional expertise in an effort to convince them that we are smart and capable. The reasons for feeling this way can be many, and they can often stem from as far back as your childhood. Many women in particular have the fear that they may appear not smart. Yet overcompensating for this fear can have the opposite effect if others are driven away by what they see as an immodest attitude or sense that you are urgently trying to prove yourself. The simple desire to be judged smart by both new and old acquaintances can cause you to reject your true self and adopt an affected persona. But in trying so persistently to project an image of supreme intelligence or capability, you deny others the opportunity! to become acquainted with the real and terrific individual you truly are.

The fear that others will perceive you as unintelligent can further influence your behavior, causing you to consciously avoid speaking your mind or asking questions. You may feel uncomfortable participating in activities if there is a chance that you won’t excel or taking part in discussions with others who may have more knowledge than you. In essence, you become ashamed of who you are and attempt to encase your identity in a veneer that others will find pleasing and impressive. It is, however, a common fear—one experienced by almost everyone at some point in their lives. The simplest way to combat it is to make a personal commitment to being yourself in your home, your workplace, and among strangers. Ask yourself how you believe the individuals you encounter will react should you speak awkwardly, need clarification, or fail to be the best at some activity. By being yourself, you will discover that all people make mistakes and ask questions and that others will like and resp! ect you because they recognize the goodness in your soul.

The fact that you are willing to be yourself, letting your many affirmative attributes express themselves naturally, will help you make a positive first impression on everyone you meet and earn the esteem of your family and friends. Your confidence and easygoing manner will say, - this is who I am and I am proud of the person I have become. Published with permission from Daily OM

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A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

Alcoholism is called the “lonely disease”; almost without exception, alcoholics are literally tortured by loneliness. Even before the end of our drinking — before people began to shun us and we were “eighty-sixed” from bars, restaurants or people’s homes — nearly all of us felt that we didn’t quite belong. We were either shy, and dared not draw near otters, or we were noisy good fellows craving attention and approval, but rarely getting it. There was always that mysterious barrier we could neither surmount nor understand. Finally, ever Bacchus betrayed us; we were struck down and left in terrified isolation. Have I begun to achieve an inner calm?

Today I Pray

May I know the tenderness of an intimate relationship with God and the calm I feel when I touch His spirit. May I translate this tenderness and calm to my relationships with others. May God deliver me from my lifelong feeling of loneliness and show me how to be a friend.

Today I Will Remember

God can teach me to be a friend.

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One More Day

Stripped of all their masquerades, the fears of men are quite identical: the fear of loneliness, rejection, inferiority, unmanageable anger, illness and death.
– Joshua Loth Liebman

Sometimes we may try to hold ourselves apart from others, pretending our uniqueness makes us superior. Underneath all our bluff and bravado we recognize that our fears are shared by all people.

We fashion our lives to protect ourselves from hurt, from displeasing those we love, and from disappointing ourselves. Our best chance for success, despite some difficult burdens, is to develop a positive attitude, an open nature, and a willingness to risk. Doing this doesn’t necessarily protect us from all our fears, but it does create an honest bond with other people who also accept their human nature.

My fears don’t have to isolate me; in fact, they can be the means by which I reach out to others.

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One Day At A Time

AVOIDANCE
” Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored.."
Aldous Huxley

Step 1 has a basic principle behind it which is truth. For me that truth is, just as I use tools for recovery, there are tools that my willful mind uses to keep me rooted in my disease. One of the strongest is avoidance.

Recovery can bring up a lot of painful issues and have me recall situations in which I feel uncomfortable. Sometimes I find that these old feelings have a way of creeping into my psyche. Suddenly some old behavior comes rushing back and I find myself using avoidance as a means to protect myself. Other times, I find myself acting very willfully by deliberately putting things off like going to the gym even when I know that it is good for me, I enjoy myself and am always happy for having gone..

My avoidance can take the form of rebellion against a person, chore, or situation.

Recovery has taught me to face situations. Once the situation has been faced, I often feel a sense of immediate relief. I know that the deed is done, my fears whether they be realistic or not, usually fall away, and sometimes I even feel a little silly for having avoided the situation in the first place.

One day at a time...
I will fact the situations that I encounter today with action.
~ Marilyn S.

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AA 'Big Book' - Quote

Rarely Have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path. Those who do not recover are people who cannot or will not completely give themselves to this simple program, usually men and women who are constitutionally incapable of being honest with themselves. - Pg. 58 - How It Works

Hour To Hour - Book - Quote

Often we try to make our disease someone else's fault. 'It was my upbringing, it was my spouse, it was my job or lack thereof.' However, we know that circumstances are no more responsible for the brain chemistry malfunctioning in addiction than it is in the pancreas malfunctioning in diabetes.

For whatever biological reason I have this addiction, I need to stop blaming and start recovering.

Putting in the Elbow Grease

I will be willing to do the daily work that is required to have the life I want to have. A good life is brought forth through many doors. The door of visualization, the door or seeing and the door of work. As I progress along my path I will learn how to 'work smarter'. How to use my energies more efficiently and waste less time needlessly. I'll learn how to get out of my own way and let my energies flow more freely. I'll learn how to listen to others and make my own decisions, how to have boundaries that are porous and flexible rather than either rigid or weak. I will find my sense of self and be able to sustain it even in the presence of others. I'll develop strength, wisdom, patience and compassion. I will develop my own unique gifts and strengths.

- Tian Dayton PhD

Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote

'If you are humble, nothing can touch you, neither praise nor disgrace, because you know who you are.' ~Mother Theresa

Humility is that virtue which reduces me to the proper size without degrading me, and increases me in statue without inflating me.

"Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book

Actions speak louder than bumper stickers.

Time for Joy - Book - Quote

Today I will look at all my fears in a new light. I can now see them as a result of my thinking and will turn over all my fear thoughts to my Higher Power. Fear no longer owns me or is a threat to my day.

Alkiespeak - Book - Quote

I hear women say they faked orgasms.
I faked whole relationships. - Bob.