[bluidkiti]

July 6

Daily Reflections

IDENTIFYING FEAR . . . .

The chief activator of our defects has been self -
centered fear. . . . .
TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 76

When I feel uncomfortable, irritated, or depressed, I
look for fear. This "evil and corroding thread" is the
root of my distress: Fear of failure; fear of other's
opinions; fear of harm, and many other fears. I have
found a Higher Power who does not want me to live in
fear and, as a result, the experience of A.A. in my
life is freedom and joy. I am no longer willing to live
with the multitude of character defects that
characterized my life while I was drinking. Step Seven
is my vehicle to freedom from these defects. I pray for
help in identifying the fear underneath the defect, and
then I ask God to relieve me of that fear. This method
works for me without fail and is one of the great
miracles of my life in Alcoholics Anonymous.

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Twenty-Four Hours A Day

A.A. Thought For The Day

We tried to study our alcoholic problem, wondering what
was the cause of our strange obsession. Many of us took
special treatments, hospitalization, even confinement in
institutions. In every case, the relief was only temporary.
We tried through crazy excuses to convince ourselves that
we knew why we drank, but we went on regardless. Finally
drinking had gone far beyond even a habit. We had become
alcoholics, men and women who had been destroying
themselves against their own will. Am I completely free
from my alcoholic obsession?

Meditation For The Day

"Ask and ye shall receive." Never let yourself think you
cannot do something useful or that you never will be able
to accomplish a useful task. The fact is that you can do
practically anything in the field of human relationships,
if you are willing to call on God's supply of strength. The
supply may not be immediately available, because you may
not be entirely ready to receive it. But it will surely come
when you are properly prepared for it. As you grow spiritually,
a feeling of being plentifully supplied by God's strength will
possess you and you will be able to accomplish many useful
things.

Prayer For The Day

I pray that I may claim God's supply of strength by my faith
in Him. I pray that it shall be given to me according to my faith.

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As Bill Sees It

Talk or Action?, p. 187

In making amends, it is seldom wise to approach an individual who still
smarts from our injustice to him, and announce that we have gone
religious. This might be called leading with the chin. Why lay ourselves
open to being branded fanatics or religious bores? If we do this, we may
kill a future opportunity to carry a beneficial message.

But the man who hears our amends is sure to be impressed with our
sincere desire to set right a wrong. He is going to be more interested in
a demonstration of good will than in talk of spiritual discoveries.

Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 77

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Walk In Dry Places

Should we Intervene?
Recovery
The method of conducting interventions is considered an effective way of confronting alcoholics and drug addicts. Interventions are done with the hope that this confrontation will "raise the bottom," and that the addict will face the condition before there's further anguish.
However effective interventions may be, they're not part of the 12 Step program. Our work is based on attraction, not the admitted coercion that's part of intervention.
If we take part in interventions, this separation should be clearly understood. The person who still suffers should know that the 12 Step program depends on attraction, not any of the other methods that might be available.
It's important to make this point clear, because the intervention may fail. Whether it does or not, the individual must not be left with the idea that intervention is a 12 Step activity. At any stage, the fellowship is always available to him or her.
I'll probably see lots of people today who need help in facing their addiction. I'll know that their recovery comes in God's good time.

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Keep It Simple

When fate hands us a lemon, let's try to make lemonade.---Dale Carnegie
Our illness is one big lemon, but our recovery is lemonade. None of us signed up to be drunks or drugies, but we all signed up for recovery. That's when the happiness began. Yes, there will be pain, but the joy will far outweigh the pain. The sweet joy of recovery becomes our drink---our lemonade. And, do we drink!
We have new friends. We love ourselves, our Higher Power, our family, and much more. We are creative when we give joy, love and help to others and to ourselves. If your lemonade isn't sweet enough, add more of your program.
Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, it's easy to forget how much You've given me. Thank you for all the joy and love You have given me.
Action for the Day: Today, I'll write down what part of recovery I really enjoy. I will then share this list with my group or friend.

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Each Day a New Beginning

Peace, she supposed, was contingent upon a certain disposition of the soul, a disposition to receive the gift that only detachment from self made possible. --Elizabeth Goudge
Self-centeredness, egocentrism, and selfishness are familiar to most of us. We have judged our world and all the situations and people in it in terms of how their existence affects our own. We have become tied to him or to her or to a situation just as surely as an anchor to a boat. Most of us learned in very early childhood to read others' behaviors. And we determined our own worth accordingly.
As adult women we still struggle, trying to read another's actions, hoping to find acceptance. Which means we are always vulnerable, exposing our "self" to the whims of other, equally vulnerable "selves." What we search for is peace and security. We think if others love and accept us, we'll be at peace. We'll know serenity. A most important lesson for us to learn in this life is that peace is assured when we anchor ourselves to our God. Peace, well-being, serene joy will accompany our every step when we expose our vulnerable selves to God's care and only God's care. We'll no longer need to worry about the self we try to protect. It will be handled with care.
Peace awaits me today. I will look to God, and only God, to know that all is well, that I am all that I need to be.

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Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition

Chapter 6 - INTO ACTION

In thinking about our day we may face indecision. We may not be able to determine which course to take. Here we ask God for inspiration, an intuitive thought or a decision. we relax and take it easy. We don’t struggle. We are often surprised how the right answers come after we have tried this for a while. What used to be the hunch or the occasional inspiration gradually becomes a working part of the mind. Being still inexperienced and having just made conscious contact with God, it is not probable that we are going to be inspired at all times. We might pay for this presumption in all sorts of absurd actions and ideas. Nevertheless, we find that our thinking will, as time passes, be more and more on the plane of inspiration. We come to rely upon it.

pp. 86-87

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Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories

Physician, Heal Thyself

Psychiatrist and surgeon, he had lost his way until he realized that God, not he, was the Great Healer.

Mine was the skid row of success. The physical skid row in any city is miserable. The skid row of success is just as miserable.

p. 301

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Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions

Step Four - "Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves."

The most common symptoms of emotional insecurity are worry, anger, self-pity, and depression. These stem from causes which sometimes seem to be within us, and at other times to come from without. To take inventory in this respect we ought to consider carefully all personal relationships which bring continuous or recurring trouble. It should be remembered that this kind of insecurity may arise in any area where instincts are threatened. Questioning directed to this end might run like this: Looking at both past and present, what sex situations have caused me anxiety, bitterness, frustration, or depression? Appraising each situation fairly, can I see where I have been at fault? Did these perplexities beset me because of selfishness or unreasonable demands? Or, if my disturbance was seemingly caused by the behavior of others, why do I lack the ability to accept conditions I cannot change? These are the sort of fundamental inquiries that can disclose the source of my discomfort and indicate whether I may be able to alter my own conduct and so adjust myself serenely to self-discipline.

p. 52

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Love yourself and all your emotions.
Be as honest with yourself as you can be.
Say how you really feel.
--Melody Beattie

"And now here is my secret, a very simple secret; it is only with the
heart that one can see rightly, what is essential is invisible to the eye."

--Antoine de Saint-Exupery

Though we travel the world to find the beautiful, we must carry it
within us or we will find it not.
--Ralph Waldo Emerson

God, help me to lower my defenses today, to be open to the good in
the people around me and to the good that I have to offer them.
--Melody Beattie

"Don't let what you cannot do interfere with what you can do."
--John Wooden

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Father Leo's Daily Meditation

POWER

"The measure of man is what he
does with power."
--Pittacus

With my recovery has come a certain success, and with the success
comes power. Power comes with the spiritual program, but it must be
exercised responsibly. Just as the disease used alcohol to destroy my
life, so it can use power to destroy me in sobriety. Power is a
doubled-edged sword that has led many back to drinking. Certainly an
abuse of power is not consistent with sobriety.

Today I am respectful of power because I know it can lead to an
inflated ego or an arrogant personality that continues to destroy the
quality of life. Today I surround myself with friends who will remind
me of my roots.

Teach me not to use my White Anglo-Saxon Protestant heritage to
belittle or patronize those from minority groups.

Teach me to exercise power responsibly.

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Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me--put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you. I rejoice greatly in the Lord that at last you have renewed your concern for me. Indeed, you have been concerned, but you had no opportunity to show it. I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength.
Philippians 4:8-13

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Daily Inspiration

Make few promises and keep the ones you make. Lord, grant me the strength to keep my commitments, especially the ones that I make to myself.

Life is what our thinking makes it. Lord, help me visualize myself richly living each day, believing, achieving, and then succeeding.

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NA Just For Today

"I'm Sorry"

"The main thing the Eighth Step does for us is to help build awareness that, little by little, we are gaining new attitudes about ourselves and how we deal with other people."
Basic Text, p.38

To say "I'm sorry" probably isn't such a foreign idea to most of us. In our active addiction, it may have been a very familiar phrase. We were always telling people how sorry we were, and were probably deeply surprised when someone, tired of our meaningless apologies, responded with, "You sure are. In fact, you're the sorriest excuse for?" That may have been our first clue that an "I'm sorry" didn't really make any difference to those we harmed, especially when we both knew that we'd just do the same thing again.

Many of us thought that making amends would be another "I'm sorry." However, the action we take in those steps is entirely different. Making amends means to make changes and, above all, to make the situation right. If we stole money, we don't just say "I'm sorry. I'll never do it again now that I'm clean." We pay the money back. If we neglected or abused our families, we don't just apologize. We begin to treat them with respect.

Amending our behavior and the way we treat ourselves and others is the whole purpose of working the steps. We're no longer just "sorry"; we're responsible.

Just for today: I accept responsibility for myself and my recovery. Today, I will amend some particular thing I'm sorry for.

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You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
In uplifting, get underneath. --George Ade
A sandpile in the summer is deceiving. The topmost sand burns hot on our
feet. But as we push down toward the center, we come to a damp, cool
place that soothes and oozes between our toes.
The nature of most things is not revealed at the surface. Like the
sandpile, many people and situations we encounter are, on the surface,
downright uncomfortable. The reward is in digging deeper--to the
essential goodness, the core or meaning, the true friend. It takes time,
a little knowledge, and abundant trust that we will not be burned.
What have I discovered by digging a little lately?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
We shall describe conditions of the soul that words can only hint at. We shall have to use logic to try to corner perspectives that laugh at our attempt. --Huston Smith
As we live the spiritual life, we find words and logic are only capable of pointing in the direction of some truths. Words do not contain the entire truth our experience may be teaching us. This is like the difference between hearing about fishing versus actually being on the water, smelling the misty air, and feeling the fish tug on our line.
Spiritual development is a form of education. We are developing the part of us that learns by experience, that has a feeling without exactly knowing why, that understands stories better than statistics. Gradually, we accept more experiences in our lives as mysteries, as not fitting into any specific categories. Many experiences will have more meaning than cold facts could ever express. As this side of us develops, we don't discard reason and judgment; we become deeper human beings.
Today, I will give my intuition more freedom. That will help my spiritual self grow.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
There are really only two ways to approach life--as victim or as gallant fighter--and you must decide if you want to act or react, deal your own cards or play with a stacked deck. And if you don't decide which way to play with life, it always plays with you.
--Merle Shain
Being the victim is, or was, uncomfortably familiar to many of us. Perhaps some of us are only now realizing we have choices, that we need not let life happen to us. Becoming responsible to ourselves, choosing behavior, beliefs, friends, activities, that please us, though unfamiliar at first, soon exhilarates us. The more choices we make, the more alive we feel. The more alive we feel, the healthier our choices.
Our aim is recovery. Recovering means participating fully in our lives. It means self-assessment and self-direction. It means trusting to move forward, step-by-step, choice-by-choice, knowing all the while that no thoughtful action can trouble us.
Many opportunities to make choices will present themselves today. The choices I make will satisfy me; they will move me toward my goal of recovery.


You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
Survivor Guilt
We begin recovering. We begin taking care of ourselves. Our recovery program starts to work in our life, and we begin to feel good about ourselves.
Then it hits. Guilt.
Whenever we begin to experience the fullness and joy of life, we may feel guilty about those we've left behind - those not recovering, those still in pain. This survivor guilt is a symptom of codependency.
We may think about the husband we've divorced who is still drinking. We may dwell on a child, grown or adult, still in pain. We may get a phone call from a nonrecovering parent who relates his or her misery to us. And we feel pulled into their pain.
How can we feel so happy, so good, when those we love are still in misery? Can we really break away and lead satisfying lives, despite their circumstances? Yes, we can.
And yes, it hurts to leave behind those we love. But keep moving forward anyway. Be patient. Other people's recovery is not our job. We cannot make them recover. We cannot make them happy.
We may ask why we were chosen for a fuller life. We may never know the answer. Some may catch up in their own time, but their recovery is not our business. The only recovery we can truly claim is our own.
We can let go of others with love, and love ourselves without guilt.
Today, I am willing to work through my sadness and guilt. I will let myself be healthy and happy, even though someone I love has not chosen the same path.


I am very grateful to be exactly where I am today. I do not need to be a victim of my past or controlled by circumstances. I am in recovery today and it feels wonderful! --Ruth Fishel

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Journey To The Heart

See How Each Soul Has Touched You

Often in our lives, we don’t realize the significance of a relationship until later, when the experience has passed. Then we understand how the person helped us along the way, took us to the next part of our journey, opened us up to begin learning the next lesson. And we see how we, in turn, helped shape that person.

One evening, as I was readying for sleep, I had a vision. I saw clearly before me a scenario of the dance we do with each other. I saw in my heart, understood deeply, the tangible, shaping impact each soul had on my life. Each moment, each interaction with another person, had been important– the quiet interactions, the ones I barely noticed, and the more significant relationships. Each moment– the moments that hurt, the moments that brought joy– had helped. We had touched each other. We were joined in an intricate dance, a dance in which our souls learned and grew.

And we had taken our places with each other on time, for the dance was perfectly choreographed.

I could almost see us waving gleefully to each other, happy for how we had connected, joyful that we had helped each other learn the lessons of the soul: courage, love, forgiveness, gentleness, self-love.

See how each soul touches you? See how you touch them? Ask your heart to guide you with honesty, love, and responsibility in all your encounters. Honor the sacredness of love. Honor the lessons of planet earth and the people who help you learn them.

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More Language Of Letting Go

Let the feelings go

Sometimes we get stuck on a feeling. We don’t want to acknowledge it and give it its due. So we tell ourselves we’re too intelligent or busy to feel that way. Maybe we’re scared of that feeling, afraid of what it might mean. We think if we feel that way, we’ll have to do something we don’t want to do. We’re afraid that feeling might mean we have to change. Or we think the feeling will mean we have to face a loss of something we value in our lives and don’t want to lose.

Sometimes we feel guilty about our emotions. We think it’s wrong to have that feeling; it makes us a bad person. So we tell ourselves we shouldn’t feel the way that we do.

We can become so used to a particular kind of feeling– such as anger, resentment, or fear– that it becomes a comfortable and familiar way to view our world.

We can use our feelings to control people: I feel this way when you do that, so don’t do that anymore. Some people call this using emotions to manipulate other people. It’s not a good thing to do. But some of us convince ourselves it’s the only way to get what we want.

Learn to say how it feels. Then learn to let that feeling go.

God, help me flow in the stream of my feelings.

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Food for Thought

Dual Personalities

It is as if we are each two people. When we are abstaining, we are calm, confident, and capable of handling the demands of every day. When we are in contact with our Higher Power, we have the right mental perspective and God’s peace and love in our hearts.

Slipping back into the old attitudes and habits of our compulsive overeating days brings back our frightened, confused, and despairing selves. We lose our ability to function efficiently. We are antagonistic to those around us. Worst of all, we are cut off from the source of strength and light.

Remembering that the negative personality will destroy us makes us more determined not to give in to it. Abstinence, day by day, is our safety. Reliance on the OA group, our Twelve Step program, and our Higher Power keeps us living the good, new life of freedom.

Deliver me from my negative personality.

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Interesting People Everywhere
Everyone Has a Story by Madisyn Taylor

Every person on this planet has a story to tell, something that makes them unique adding to the whole.

It’s easy to forget sometimes that everyone has a story to tell if we take the time to listen. We are so accustomed to hearing the stories of people in the news that we sometimes lose track of the fact that the random stranger on the bus also has a fascinating story about where they came from and how they got to be where they are. The sheer variety of paths taken in this world, from farmers to CEOs to homeless people to world travelers, is indicative of how much we can learn from each individual. Sometimes the shy, quiet person at work has the most amazing life story and the biggest dreams, it is up to us to take the time to find out.

Some people travel a path of wealth and privilege, while others struggle with only themselves to rely on, and both have great stories to tell. Each person learns lessons, makes choices, and develops a unique perspective, which only they can claim and share. Even two people who have had very similar lives will have slightly different experiences, leading them to a different point of view, so each person remains a treasure trove waiting to be explored. When we take the time to ask questions and listen, we find that every person has a fascinating story to tell and an utterly unique perspective from which to tell it.

Bearing this in mind, we have the opportunity to approach the world around us in a new way. There is never any reason to be bored at a party, or on the bus, or in a conversation with a stranger. When we retain the spark of curiosity and the warmth required to open someone up, we always have in front of us the makings of a great story. All we have to do is ask. Published with permission from Daily OM

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A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

Some people in The Program don’t feel that they can do the things they want to do. They doubt their own ability. But actually, every person has untapped ability. We’re children of God, which should give us a strong clue as to the infinite nature of our ability. As spiritual beings, we’re unlimited. True, we may find it easier to accept this as true of some person who shines in a particular field. We may compare our own accomplishments with another’s and feel discouraged. But the only comparison we need make or should make is with ourselves. Am I a better, more productive person today?

Today I Pray

May I realize that I am a child of God. And His loving-parent promise to give me what I need, not what I might want, is His way of teaching me to be what I am, not what I dreamed I should be. As a spiritual being, I can truly become a productive person – perhaps even do some of the things I once felt unable to do without the aid of props — drinks, pills, excesses of food which hulled me into false confidence.

Today I Will Remember

To compare me with the old me.

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One More Day

Yesterday is a canceled check; tomorrow is a promissory note; today is the only cash you have — so spend it wisely.
– Kay Lyons

Each day is a small fragment of a lifetime. This fact frees us to focus on the things we truly can influence. We can never return to the past, except within our memories. And we don’t know what the future holds in store. The only time we can “spend” is today; the only time we touch is right now.

The simplicity of the present allows us to let go of the past and to ignore the unknowns of the future. Thus freed, we can set about the business of enriching our lives physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Unpleasant debts to the past are paid, and we’ve mortgaged nothing to the future. We are free to invest in growth by using the “cash” we have on hand.

This day is a valuable piece of my life. I will spend it well.

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One Day At A Time

SUFFERING
“The desire to stop suffering
is not the same thing as the desire to stop the behavior
we are doing which causes us to suffer.”
Dr. James Golden

Our disease of addiction causes tremendous suffering to ourselves and to those around us. It consumes our lives and often leads to painful losses. No matter how profoundly we long to be rid of our disease, recovery is not something that falls into our laps just because we want it. We don’t magically stop being compulsive eaters just because that’s our desire. It would be great if recovery happened magically and all we’d have to do is say, "I don't want this disease any more; I don’t want to suffer any longer." If it were that easy, we'd immediately find ourselves in a place of complete and total recovery. Unfortunately, it doesn’t work that way.

In the depths of my disease I cried out to the God of my understanding to help me achieve abstinence and an alleviation of my suffering. What was the answer to my prayers? This wonderful Twelve Step program.

One of the first things I learned was that I could wish and hope and pray, but until I put feet to my prayers and actually started working the Steps, I wouldn’t recover from my disease. God will only do for us what He can do through us. If I’m not willing to do even a little bit of the work, I shouldn’t expect recovery. If I won’t take the first step on this journey, I can’t expect to reach my final destination. I can do some things for myself -- like putting the Steps into practice -- but what about the things I can’t do for myself? I’ll let God handle those.

One day at a time...
I’ll remember that it’s not enough
to want to stop suffering from my disease;
I also need to do some footwork to make it happen.
~ Jeff

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AA 'Big Book' - Quote

One dismal afternoon he paced a hotel lobby wondering how his bill was to be paid. At one end of the room stood a glass covered directory of local churches. Down the lobby a door opened into an attractive bar. He could see the gay crowd inside. In there he would find companionship and release. Unless he took some drinks, he might not have the courage to scrape an aquaintance and would have a lonely week-end.
Of course he couldn't drink, but why not sit hopefully at a table, a bottle of ginger ale before him? After all, had he not been sober six months now? Perhaps he could handle, say, three drinks - no more! Fear gripped him. He was on thin ice. Again it was the old, insidious insanity - that first drink. With a shiver, he turned away and walked down the lobby to the church directory. Music and gay chatter still floated to him from the bar.
But what about his responsibilities - his family and the men who would die because they would not know how to get well, ah - yes, those other alcoholics? There must be many such in this town. He would phone a clergyman. His sanity returned and he thanked God. Selecting a church at random from the directory, he stepped into a booth and lifted the receiver. - Pgs. 154-155 - A Vision For You

( Note: This is when Bill Wilson is subsequently introduced to Dr. Bob )

Hour To Hour - Book - Quote

Stumbling blocks can become stepping stones if we use each adversity as a chance to practice our new way of life. Then problems become challenges so we can see what part of our program will solve them. What principle can you apply to your current situation?
Divine Intelligence encourages me not to escape my every problem, but face it and learn to practice this program in all my affairs.

Inside My Mind

Today, I am grateful to feel alive and to recognize that life is a spiritual journey. All my life circumstances are spiritual challenges, if I choose to look at them that way. Getting free of my own over-attachment to people, places, things and ideas, mistaking them for me, releases my spirit. Once my spirit is released, it can travel and experience the real beauty of life. Life surrounds me; it is inside, outside and everywhere. If I am free and still inside, life is there. If I am not ruminating and filling my mind with unnecessary preoccupations - life is there, spirit is there - waiting to be seen and felt.

I allow my mind its freedom.

- Tian Dayton PhD

Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote

Since life is 10% actuality and 90% re-actuality you must chose your reactions carefully. The program has given you choice and how you choose to react to this day can make the difference between simply being dry or being sober.
I live today as I want to remember my life.

"Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book

If you're happy, notify your face. If you're not, notify your sponsor.

Time for Joy - Book - Quote

It is a great relief to know that all I have to do is turn to the twelve steps of recovery and help is with me today. Today I am given all the tools that I need and I am so grateful that I no longer have to struggle alone.

Alkiespeak - Book - Quote

I got sicker, quicker, on less liquor. - Unknown origin.