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bluidkiti
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December 2

Daily Reflections

SERENITY

Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, . . .
TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 106

As I continued to go to meetings and work the Steps, something began to happen to me. I
felt confused because I wasn't sure what it was that I was feeling, and then I realized I
was experiencing serenity. It was a good feeling, but where had it come from? Then I
realized it had come ". . .as the result of these steps." The program may not always be
easy to practice, but I had to acknowledge that my serenity had come to me after working
the Steps. As I work the Steps in everything I do, practicing these principles in all my
affairs, now I find that I am awake to God, to others, and to myself. The spiritual
awakening I have enjoyed as the result of working the Steps is the awareness that I am
no longer alone.

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Twenty-Four Hours A Day

A.A. Thought For The Day

The thoughts that come before having a slip seem to be partly subconscious. And yet it is
likely that at least part of these thoughts get into our consciousness. An idle thought
connected with drinking casually pops into our mind. That is the crucial moment. Will I
harbor that thought even for one minute or will I banish it from my mind at once? If I let it
stay, it may develop into a daydream. I may begin to see a cool glass of beer or a
Manhattan cocktail in my mind's eye. If I allow the daydream to stay in my mind, it
may lead to a decision, however unconscious, to take a drink. Then I am headed for a
slip. Do I let myself daydream?

Meditation For The Day

Many of us have a sort of vision of the kind of person God wants us to be. We must be
true to that vision, whatever it is, and we must try to live up to it, by living the way we
believe we should live. We can all believe that God has a vision of what He wants us to be
like. In all people there is a good person whom God sees in us, the person we could be
and that God would like us to be. But many a person fails to fulfill that promise and God's
disappointments must be many.

Prayer For The Day

I pray that I may strive to be the kind of a person that God would have me be. I pray that
I may try to fulfill God's vision of what I could be.

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As Bill Sees It

Renew Your Effort, p. 68

"Though I know how hurt and sorry you must be after this slip, please
do not worry about a temporary loss of your inner peace. As calmly
as you can, just renew your effort in the A.A. program, especially
those parts of it which have to do with meditation and self-analysis.

"Could I also suggest that you look at excessive guilt for what it is?
Nothing but a sort of reverse pride. A decent regret for what has
happened is fine. But guilt--no.

"Indeed, the slip could well have been brought about by unreasonable
feelings of guilt because of other moral failures, so called. Surely,
you ought to look into this possibility. Even here you should not
blame yourself for failure; you can be penalized only for refusing to
try for better things."

Letter, 1958

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Walk In Dry Places

Bringing Projects to Completion.
Fortitude
Starting projects without completing them can be part of our alcoholic nature. It's related to immaturity and a tendency to become bored and discouraged quickly.
The 12 Step program can help us overcome this problem. First, we realize and admit to such tendencies, fearlessly facing what has really been a very bad habit. Then we become honest about our motives. We realize that we didn't actually have the abiding interest that would have helped us complete some projects. In such cases, the projects never should have been started... and in the future we'll take are not to embark on similar projects.
When something does need to be completed, the program will help us stay with it until it's done. We will always find that the satisfaction of completing a necessary project will be part of sober living. We'll also know that we're growing in the program.
I'll take the necessary steps today to move any project toward completion. This will also help with future projects.

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Keep It Simple

...we tried to carry this message to alcoholics...--Second part of Step 12.
In this part of Step 12, we carry the message of hope. But it's not up to us if anyone accepts the message or not. This keeps us from playing God. We just gently deliver the message. We don't force the program down people's throats. In general, Step Twelve tells us, “Be helpful to those we can help.” When a neighbor is sick, mow her lawn. When a friend is in the hospital, visit him. Step Twelve reminds us that we make a difference. We have hope to give the world. And hope is what we stand for to the addict who still suffers. Hope is what we stand for to the addict's family. How beautiful to stand for hope! Remember when our lives stood for despair?? What a change!
Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, help me shine brightly as a symbol of Your hope.
Action for the Day: Today, I'll help someone in need. It may be an alcoholic or other drug addict, or just someone in need. I'll help make the world a better place.

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Each Day a New Beginning

The old woman I shall become will be quite different from the woman I am now. Another I is beginning . . . --George Sand
Change is constant. And we are always becoming. Each chance, each feeling, each responsibility we commit ourselves to adds to the richness of our womanhood. We are not yesterday's woman, today. Our new awarenesses have brought us beyond her. And we can't go back without knowing, somehow, that she no longer meets the needs of today.
We can look forward to our changes, to the older woman we are becoming. She will have the wisdom that we still lack. She will have learned to live and let live. She will have acquired, through years of experiences, a perspective that lends sanity to all situations.
The lessons we are learning today, the pain that overwhelms us now and again, are nurturing the developing woman within each of us. If only we could accept the lessons and master them. If only we could trust the gift of change that accompanies the pain.
I am becoming. And with the becoming, comes peace. I can sense it today. I know where I was yesterday.

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Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition

Chapter 10 - To Employers

Still another experience: A woman’s voice came faintly over long distance from Virginia. She wanted to know if her husband’s company insurance was still in force. Four days before he had hanged himself in his woodshed. I had been obliged to discharge him for drinking, though he was brilliant, alert, and one of the best organizers I have ever known.

p. 137

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Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories

It Might Have Been Worse

Alcohol was a looming cloud in this banker's bright sky. With rare foresight he realized it could become a tornado.

I tried the wagon on numerous occasions, but I always felt unhappy and abused. I tried psychiatry, but of course I gave the psychiatrist no cooperation.
I was living in constant fear that I would get caught while driving a car, so I used taxis part of the time. Then I began to have blackouts, and that was a constant worry. To wake up at home, not knowing how I got there, and to realize I had driven my car, became torture. Not knowing where I had been or how I got home was making me desperate.

p. 350

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Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions

Step Twelve - "Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs."

When we had taken the opposite tack and had insisted, like infants ourselves, that people protect and take care of us or that the world owed us a living, then the result had been equally unfortunate. This often caused the people we had loved most to push us aside or perhaps desert us entirely. Our disillusionment had been hard to bear. We couldn't imagine people acting that way toward us. We had failed to see that though adult in years we were still behaving childishly, trying to turn everybody--friends, wives, husbands, even the world itself--into protective parents. We had refused to learn the very hard lesson that overdependence upon people is unsuccessful because all people are fallible, and even the best of them will sometimes let us down, especially when our demands for attention become unreasonable.

p. 115

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Destroying pride -- man becomes endearing;
Destroying anger -- man gets rid of sorrow;
Destroying desire -- man acquires peace;
Destroying greed -- man achieves happiness.
--Satya Sai Baba

Whoever seeks God . . . has already found God.
--unknown

It's never too late to begin making an effort.
--unknown

When you find yourself rundown from life, pace yourself and take a refreshing break.
--unknown

BIG BOOK – Believing In God Beats Our Old Knowledge

WILLING – When I Live Life, I Need God

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Father Leo's Daily Meditation

PROBLEMS

"The certainties of one age are
the problems of the next."
-- R. H. Tawney

Life is a process of change that inevitably produces problems; the fear of the new, the
discomfort of old values being seen to be wrong, the confusion that so often accompanies
growth. Problems are part of life and we can only escape them in death. (Even then
nobody can be sure we will be free of problems!)

As an alcoholic I tried to run away from my problems by drinking. But the next day the
old problems were still there and my drinking had usually brought new problems. Alcohol
only produced a momentary escape but reality always returned.

Today, with the acceptance of my alcoholism and my decision not to "pick up the first
drink", I face my problems. I deal with my problems. I live with the problems of life.

Teach me to accept joyously the problems that life and growth inevitably bring.

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"But blessed are your eyes because they see, and your ears because they hear."
Matthew 13:16

"Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have,
because God has said, 'Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.'"
Hebrews 13:5

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Daily Inspiration

Life will be so much easier if you can accept that things don't always go as planned and see that these are often magnificent opportunities. Lord, help me learn from the occurences of today that seem to go awry and show me how to make the situation better through my own flexibility and creativity.

Enthusiasm keeps the mind young and the spirit growing. Lord, may I always see wonder in the ordinary happenings of my day.

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NA Just For Today

Recovery: Our First Priority

"We have to keep our recovery first and our priorities in order."
Basic Text pg. 79

Before coming to NA, we used many excuses to justify our use of drugs: "He yelled at me" "She said this." "My partner left." "I got fired." We used these same excuses for not seeking help for our drug problem. We had to realize that these things kept happening because we kept using drugs. Only when we made recovery our first priority did these situations begin to change.

We may be subject to the same tendency today, using excuses for not attending meetings and being of service. Our current excuses may be of a different nature: "I can't leave my kids." "My vacation wore me out." "I have to finish this project so I can impress my boss." But still, if we don't make recovery our first priority, chances are that we won't have to worry about these excuses anymore. Kids, vacations, and jobs probably won't be in our lives if we relapse.

Our recovery must come first. Job or no job, relationship or no relationship, we have to attend meetings, work the steps, call our sponsor, and be of service to God and others. These simple actions are what make it possible for us to have vacations, families, and bosses to worry about. Recovery is the foundation of our lives, making everything else possible.

Just for today: I will keep my priorities in order. Number One on the list is my recovery.

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You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
When one is a stranger to oneself, then one is estranged from others, too. --Anne Morrow Lindbergh
There's a person inside each of us just itching to be known and loved. But if we don't get to know and love that person, how can we expect anyone else to know us?
That's why it's so important to spend time alone getting acquainted with ourselves. And how do we do that? We can sit quietly with ourselves, thinking and listening. Then we can write our thoughts in a journal, or we can draw or paint them. If we play a musical instrument, we can put our thoughts and feelings into music.
When we make the time and effort to know ourselves, it encourages others to want to know us, too. Since everything we do and feel begins inside us, we must feel good about ourselves in order to feel good about anything else. What wonders we are, that we have all the power we need to make our world a happy one!
How do I feel about myself today?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
The management assumes no responsibility for what is found. --Abraham Maslow
There are so many occasions when we would like to blame somebody--wife, child, parent, or "the management," for our feelings. When we get frustrated, overworked, or angry, we want somebody else to take responsibility. In truth, each of us has his own path and is responsible for his feelings. One man said that living alone made it clear to him that his wife wasn't creating his feelings. Until then he thought she was responsible.
This blaming and not taking responsibility keep a man in the role of victim. When we accept the difficult message that our feelings are ours to deal with and no one else's, self-improvement begins. We begin to walk the difficult but self respecting path of spiritual awakening. We can do something about whatever hurts. Even in that awakening there are no guarantees that who we are will be totally what we want to find. Our only guarantee is that our Higher Power is with us to deal with the realities of our lives.
Today, help me be responsible for what I feel and do.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
The old woman I shall become will be quite different from the woman I am now. Another I is beginning . . . --George Sand
Change is constant. And we are always becoming. Each chance, each feeling, each responsibility we commit ourselves to adds to the richness of our womanhood. We are not yesterday's woman, today. Our new awarenesses have brought us beyond her. And we can't go back without knowing, somehow, that she no longer meets the needs of today.
We can look forward to our changes, to the older woman we are becoming. She will have the wisdom that we still lack. She will have learned to live and let live. She will have acquired, through years of experiences, a perspective that lends sanity to all situations.
The lessons we are learning today, the pain that overwhelms us now and again, are nurturing the developing woman within each of us. If only we could accept the lessons and master them. If only we could trust the gift of change that accompanies the pain.
I am becoming. And with the becoming, comes peace. I can sense it today. I know where I was yesterday.


You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
Putting Our Life on Hold
We cannot afford to put our needs on hold, waiting for another person to fulfill us, make our life better, or come around and be who and what we want that person to be. That will create resentment, hostility, an unhealthy dependency, and a mess to deal with later on.
If we have decided we want a particular relationship or want to wait about making a decision in a particular relationship, then we must go on with our own life in the interim.
That can be hard. It can feel natural to put our life on hold. That is when we get caught up in the codependent beliefs: That person can make me happy... I need that particular person to do a particular thing in order to be happy....
That's a circumstance that can hook our low self-esteem, our self-doubt, and our tendency to neglect ourselves.
We can get into this situation in a number of ways. We can do this waiting for a letter, waiting for a job, waiting for a person, waiting for an event.
We do not have to put our life on hold. There will be repercussions from doing this. Go on with your life. Take life a day at a time.
What is something I could be doing now to take care of myself, make myself feel better, get my needs met in an appropriate, healthy way?
How can I own my power to take care of myself, despite what the other person is or isn't doing?
What will happen if I break the system and begin taking care of myself?
Sometimes, we get the answer we want immediately. Sometimes, we wait for a while. Sometimes, things don't work out exactly the way we hoped. But they always work out for good, and often better than we expected.
And in the meantime, we have manifested love for ourselves by living our own life and taking the control away from others. That always comes back to us tenfold, because when we actually manifest love for ourselves, we give our Higher Power, other people, and the Universe permission to send us the love we want and need. Stopping living our life to make a thing happen doesn't work. All it does is make us miserable, because we have stopped living our life.
Today, I will force myself, if necessary, to live my own life. I will act in my own best interest, in a way that reflects self-love. If I have given power or control of my life to someone other than myself, and someone besides a Power greater than myself, I will take it back. I will begin acting in my own best interests, even if it feels awkward to do that.


No matter what is going on in my life today, I can always find something for which to be grateful. When I stop and think about this and make a gratitude list, there is no room for depression or self pity. There is so much to be grateful for today. --Ruth Fishel

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Journey To The Heart

Learn to Visualize Your Path

Learn to visualize what you would like to see happen in your life. Use your mind and your imagination, in connection with your heart, to create a picture of the future.

Visions can help create our future and guide us down the path. If we have a picture of where we’re going, it will help us know when we get there. It will help us know we’re on track.

At times, we find ourselves easily using our imaginations to create a clear picture. We can see ourselves doing something a particular way, comfortably functioning in a particular situation. We can see how what we’re working on is going to look. We can see ourselves living in a particular place, working at a particular job, or vacationing at that special spot. We know clearly what we want.

Other times, our vision may not be as clear. We may have only a few vague ideas about how a thing or place will look. We need to focus our attention and create as clear a picture as we can. Making a list of all we know about what we’d like it to be helps here.

Other times, we may be completely in the dark without a clue about where we’re going. That doesn’t mean we can’t get there or that there is no place for us to go. It means that we need to ask God, the universe, to help us become clear on what would be good, clear enough so we can recognize the answer when it comes.

Learn to use your imagination to create the life you want. Take time at the beginning to develop a vision, an idea about what you want. Visualize how you would like things to be. Then let your vision guide you where you need to go.

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More Language Of Letting Go

The lesson is joy

I was visiting a counselor in Minnesota one cold January day in 1991. We were talking about the present and speculating about the lessons to come. She grabbed my hand and looked at me, looked right into my eyes. “This I know for sure,” she said. “You’ve been through enough pain. Now you’re going to learn about joy.”

One week later, my son Shane died.

Mixed in with my grief was rage. I was so angry with her for saying that. It was another instance of getting my hopes up that I could finally be happy. Now, I felt tricked and let down.

The years passed slowly. I lost almost everything, including my desire to write. Nichole graduated from high school. Then she moved out of the house, and to New York. Life kept changing and moving along, in spite of how I felt.

One year I noticed that the anniversary of Shane’s death had passed, and I hadn’t become depressed. Then I began to notice something else. I was beginning to feel alive, vibrant, awestruck with life. It wasn’t a naive assumption that whatever I wanted, I’d get. It was a newfound ability to surrender to each moment and enjoy what life brought my way. I made new friends. My relationships with old friends changed. What inspired me was my new relationship with life. I stopped looking for outward circumstances to provide me with happiness. I began to see that I held that key myself.

If you’re going through something in your life that isn’t what you planned, a transformation is at hand. While we might prefer to be transformed in the twinkling of an eye, it usually doesn’t happen that fast. It takes all the moments added together, and sometimes those moments go on and on. But one day when you least expect it– a phoenix rises from the ashes. That phoenix is you.

Some of us encounter a lot of pain. Some of us have less. If I could sit across from you right now, I’d look into your eyes and say these words to you: “I know you’ve been through a lot. But there’s a new cycle coming. You’re going to learn about joy.”

Life is going to take you on your own journey of personal transformation. You may have let go of some things. But don’t worry, you’ll get some of those things back. And sometimes when we think something is lost, it’s not. It’s just moved to a different place. No pain, no gain, is what many people say. And usually they say that because when the lesson is learned, the pain stops. But then something happens. It just clicks in. The moments start getting better and better. And it’s not because of what we get. It happens because we’ve surrendered. And although it looks like what we’ve surrendered to is pain and heartache, we’ve really surrendered to God’s will.

There’s a world out there– right outside your door. And the key that opens the door is in your hand. The ultimate lesson is learning joy. Put your fears aside. Live your life, whatever that means to you today. It may happen today, tomorrow, next week, or in ten years. but you won’t be able to help yourself. You’ll throw your hat up in the air, look around, and shout, “Oh my God, how sweet life is.”

God, help me get through my lessons, one by one. Then bring me to that place where I learn about joy.

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Choosing Not To Be a Target
Emotional Attacks

Hurtful confrontations often leave us feeling drained and confused. When someone attacks us emotionally, we may wonder what we did to rouse their anger, and we take their actions personally. We may ask ourselves what we could have done to compel them to behave or speak that way toward us. It’s important to remember that there are no real targets in an emotional attack and that it is usually a way for the attacker to redirect their uncomfortable feelings away from themselves. When people are overcome by strong emotions, like hurt or anguish, they may see themselves as victims and lash out at others as a means of protection or to make themselves feel better. You may be able to shield yourself from an emotional attack by not taking the behavior personally. First, however, it is good to cultivate a state of detachment that can provide you with some protection from the person who is attacking you. This will allow you to feel compassion for this person and remember that their beha! vior isn’t as much about you as it is about their need to vent their emotions.

If you have difficulty remaining unaffected by someone’s behavior, take a moment to breathe deeply and remind yourself that you didn’t do anything wrong, and you aren’t responsible for people’s feelings. If you can see that this person is indirectly expressing a need to you—whether they are reaching out for help or wanting to be heard—you may be able to diffuse the attack by getting them to talk about what is really bothering them.

You cannot control other people’s emotions, but you can control your own. If you sense yourself responding to their negativity, try not to let yourself. Keep your heart open to them, and they may let go of their defensiveness and yield to your compassion and openness. Published with permission from Daily OM

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A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

Once at a meeting held in a church, I saw a stained glass window on which was written, “God Is Love.” For some reason, my mind transposed the words into “Love Is God.” Either way is correct and true, I realized, looking about me and becoming even more conscious of the spirit of love and Power in the small meeting room. I’ll continue to seek out that love and Power, following The Program as if my life depended upon it — as indeed it does. Does life to me today mean living — in the active sense — joyously and comfortably?

Today I Pray

May I feel the spirit of love that gives our prayers their energy. May I feel the oneness in this room, the concentration of love that gives the group its power. May I feel the exemplary love of a Higher Power, which our love echoes.

Today I Will Remember

Love Is God.

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One More Day

Habituation is a falling asleep or fatiguing of the sense of time; which explains why young years pass slowly, while later life finds itself faster and faster upon its course.
–Thomas Mann

Our routines can become so rote that we’re unaware of making choices. Suddenly, we realize we haven’t done many of the things which matter most to us. With this realization comes another: sometimes making no choice is, in fact a choice in the same things, saying the same words, living a copy of the day before – we have chosen to live safely. But we may think, I wish I had…

We don’t have to completely change our lives in order to make better choices for ourselves. All we have to do is see all the choices open to us.

What and how I choose makes every day different from the last.

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One Day At A Time

FAITH
I try to avoid looking forward or backward,
and try to keep looking upward.
Charlotte Bronte

If only I would remember to keep my focus on God and today, not yesterday and not tomorrow. The past is just that ... the past. I can't change any of it, the good memories or the bad. They are just memories. I don't have to forget my past; I just have to stop hurting myself by constantly agonizing over what I consider mistakes and failures.

Tomorrow is in God's hands. What better place for it to be! I have to learn to trust God to hold me in the palm of His hands, the same way He holds tomorrow. He isn't going to drop me or close His fist around me so tightly that I can't breathe.

We are all created with the ability to make choices, and He gives us that freedom. He will hold us securely, and help us make the right choices, if only we let go and let Him.

One day at a time . . .
I will forget yesterday and tomorrow. I will not look backward or forward. I will look up and put myself in God's care, knowing He will hold me safely in the palm of His hand.
Debbie K.

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AA 'Big Book' - Quote

The man in the bed was told of the acute poisoning from which he suffered, how it deteriorates the body of an alcoholic and warps his mind. There was much talk about the mental state preceding the first drink. - Pg. 157 - A Vision For You

Hour To Hour - Book - Quote

We always wanted our image to be so good, yet we always seemed to come off bad. No amount of mind-affecting chemicals ever made us come off good, either. They just made us think we were OK. But there is nothing so bad right now, that a fix, pill, drink, smoke, or snort won't make it worse.

May I clearly see that drugs only provided an illusion of good time, not the real thing.

Hesitation

Today, I will walk the walk and talk the talk. It will not be good for me, ultimately, to half commit myself. In a way, the particular path that I take is less significant than that I take a path. I can second-guess myself and my experience. Commitment to a path is really commitment to myself. I am allowing myself to take a clear direction, one in which I can actualize my talents on a day-to-day basis, one that will allow me to build a foundation and a structure in which I can live. I will have a passion in life, a passion that takes me beyond myself, a passion to love, nourish, be led and challenged by. I will follow it, and it will follow me.

I deserve a passion in my life.

- Tian Dayton PhD

Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote

There are a lot more reasons for working the Ninth Step than freedom, serenity, and moral responsibility. Making amends is a good way of having the last word.

I take my program seriously and myself lightly.

"Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book

Thinking about what you'll say before you share, or what you should have said after you share means you missed the meeting.

Time for Joy - Book - Quote

No matter what is going on in my life today, I can always find something for which to be grateful. When I stop and think about this and make a gratitude list, there is no room for depression or self pity. There is so much to be grateful for today.

Alkiespeak - Book - Quote

I know if I take a drink, I'm gone. It's going to just keep feeding itself. But I secretly suspected that everybody who drinks must surely get that same fired-up feeling and want more, but because they don't have a problem with it they can control it. But in the AA Big Book Dr. Silkworth says that's not true; non alcoholics never experience that phenomenon of craving. - Bob D.
__________________
"No matter what you have done up to this moment, you get 24 brand-new hours to spend every single day." --Brian Tracy
AA gives us an opportunity to recreate ourselves, with God's help, one day at a time. --Rufus K.
When you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on. --Franklin D. Roosevelt
We stay sober and clean together - one day at a time!
God says that each of us is worth loving.
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