[bluidkiti]

July 5

Step by Step

"It helped me a great deal to become convinced that alcoholism was a disease, not a moral issue; that I had been drinking as a result of a compulsion, even though I had not been aware of the compulsion at the time; and that sobriety was not a matter of willpower. The people of AA had something that looked much better than what I had, but I was afraid to let go of what I had in order to try something new; there was a certain sense of security in the familiar." - Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, Ch 17 ("Doctor, Alcoholic, Addict"), p 448.

Today, wisdom to understand that the "security" I thought I had in alcohol was actually the predictability of its outcome. I need look no further than yesterday to know that my drinking progressed and never regressed, that its consequences became gradually harsher and that the court's sentence was pretty much what it was with all the other DUI's before. Today, I give up that false sense of security that is really nothing more than predictability and take a chance on what is not familiar - sobriety. At least with sobriety, I don't have the boredom of knowing the outcome because the outcome of my drinking was always the same. Maybe the unpredictability of the benefits of sobriety is worth the effort. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

HUMOR

Pain is deeper than all thought; laughter is higher than all pain.

~ Elbert Hubbard ~

The world of recovery has given us back a sense of humor. We have learned to laugh at ourselves and laugh hard. The gloomy seriousness that hung over us like a dark cloud is removed and replaced. We begin to see our past history that caused us such misery in a different light. We come to appreciate the humor in our game-playing, our inflated egos, our power-driven ambitions, our grandiose plans, our perfectionism, and our silly poutings.

We've discovered laughter and humor as a medicine to heal wounds. We laugh uproariously at the stories of others as they remember their past. We don't laugh to belittle our friends, but to share in the release of our pain and the fact that times are oh, so different now.

I have gotten off my pedestal and off my pity pot and have joined the human race as just a fellow traveler. Life looks a lot funnier when both my feet are on the ground.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

A community is like a ship, everyone ought to be prepared to take the helm.

~ Henrik Ibsen ~

A good life is blessed with many communities. There are neighborhoods, schools, synagogues, churches, mosques, groups of friends, workplaces, and Twelve Step recovery groups. We became alienated from our communities when we were attached to our addictions and codependency. The all-consuming demands of our misguided lives left little room for genuine participation in the human network.

On our path, we now treasure these connections. We are participants in the bonds of warmth and the many good relationships that surround us. We don’t have to be the center of attention or the main focus in order to feel included. We contribute to the networks that we are part of by simply being good men, and by taking our share of the duties that make a better community for us all.

Today I will seek to make a positive contribution to the communities in my life.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

Putting your emotional well-being in the hands of someone else is like riding a roller coaster into infinity.

~ Anonymous ~

Giving someone else the power to make us sad or happy, angry or hopeful, confident or insecure, is never beneficial. Taking charge of how we feel guarantees us as much happiness as we desire. This surprises many of us. Why didn’t we know it before?

Codependency is common among women, particularly those of us who are dependent on mood- altering chemicals. Our search for security has endangered us more than once. We have followed others down dangerous paths when we thought love was the reward. We have denied our common sense when seeking the approval of others. We have put our values aside for a moment of acceptance. However, each moment is a chance for a new decision about who is in charge of how we feel. We can begin now to make a difference in our lives.

I may not be happy today, but no one else has the power to decide that for me unless I give someone that power.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

My meeting keeps me out of my shell

When I feel psychologically weak or sick and upset with myself, I don't want to see anyone and I don't want anyone to see me. I prefer to stay home and stay angry and ashamed.

I am learning, however, that it is not safe to go into this shell. If I retreat, if I stay stuck in my shame, I risk relapse. In the long run I feel better when I go to a meeting. There I feel safer with my emotions and experiences. I accept myself more when I come together with people who accept, understand, and care about me.

I will attend two meetings a week to stay out of my shell and remain stable.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear.

~ John 4:18 ~

Fear of people is usually a fear of rejection or disapproval, often brought about by our own sense of unworthiness. Feeling we are without value, we may settle for less than we are entitled to or less than we could have. It is difficult to strive for closeness with others, or to better ourselves, when we believe the answer will be “no.”

But as we learn to love ourselves better, we no longer fear rejection. We know that we are valuable and unique, with or without the validation of other people. We can risk being ourselves. Coming to accept the love of our Higher Power grants us a new, confident serenity that helps us overcome fear. As our spirituality grows, we feel more confident and worthy of love. We are able to face our fears with a serenity that increases every new day.

Today I pray I may always walk with full awareness of God’s presence and perfect love.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

Nature never said to me: Do not be poor; still less did she say: Be rich; her cry to me was always: Be independent.

~ Sebastien-Roch Nicolas de Chamfort ~

You may think that recovery has taken away your freedom because you can no longer do the thing you most want to do—engage in your habit. Because you are in recovery, you may feel that you have simply gone from wearing one set of shackles to donning another.

But you awaken each day in recovery with a choice that is yours to make: to use or not to use. What you choose is up to you, and so this reflects that you do, indeed, still have your freedom. All of the actions you take today will be based on this choice. All of your choices will not only guide your life in the direction you have chosen to travel, but also symbolize your independence from dependence.

Today you have immense freedom. You can choose to be clean and sober. You can choose which tools of the program you will use. You can choose which meetings to attend. You can choose a sponsor. You can choose to share your story with others. You can choose to reach out to a Higher Power. And you can choose the changes you would like to make.

I will celebrate the independence recovery gives me.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

Silence propagates itself, and the longer talk has been suspended, the more difficult it is to find anything to say.

~ Samuel Johnson ~

Remember growing up with a parent or other family member who showed anger by "the silent treatment”? How infuriating it was to experience this. One person would be attempting to make things right or provoke a response while the other would maintain a "lips sealed" policy.

Forced silence can be as devastating as the most angry most vicious comment. Forced silence is a wall erected in front of the vocal chords so human communication cannot scale it.

The silent treatment, like inappropriate anger, is not the way to patch rips in the fabric of our human support system. Unless we break the soundless barrier, the wall will become nearly impossible to tear down. Tonight we can look back to any relationship that's in jeopardy and seek to mend it by human communication.

Is there someone in my life with whom I haven't communicated for a while? It's up to me to scale the wall of silence before I lose that person forever.

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Staying clean and sober through the holidays

Holidays have been the time when getting high was easiest to justify. Either we joined in the festivities, or we used our sadness, anxiety, or anger as an excuse. Now that we are clean and sober, we realize that on holidays we don’t have to escape anymore. We have a choice.

We wake up in the morning, appreciate being clean and sober, and just live the day to the best of our abilities. No longer do we fear the festivities, the free time or pressures; no longer do we fear our sadness, anxiety, or anger.

Am I overcoming the need to escape?

Thank you, Higher Power, for this day (as well as all others); may I make the most of it.

I will make the most of today’s holiday by

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

Whatever you can do or dream you can do, begin it.

~ JOHANN WOLFGANG VON GOETHE ~

Newcomer

I signed up to take a course in something I’m kind of interested in. I’m pretty anxious about it. I don’t have the skills and experience that the other students have. I don’t know if I can keep up with the work and still go to enough meetings. And even if I get through it, I doubt that I can afford to go further.

Sponsor

First, let me congratulate you for the courage and self-esteem it took for you to begin something new in recovery. Recovery is not an end in itself; as we frequently hear in meetings, it’s a bridge back to life. Education is a path that beckons many recovering people. Taking just one step, like signing up for a course, furthers you on your journey.

At the same time, you’ll want to take care to protect your recovery as you engage in new pursuits. Staying close to the program by going to regular and frequent meetings is still the top priority for anyone who doesn’t want to relapse. The work we do to maintain our recovery is what makes everything else possible.

As for your doubts and fears, it’s natural for them to come up. Instead of giving them too much attention, you can use this opportunity to calm and center yourself with meditation and to ask in prayer for help and courage in carrying out your Higher Power’s will for you.

Today, I take a small step forward on my journey, without judging myself or my rate of progress.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

It is often the case that great scholars make the acquiring of knowledge a goal instead of a means to a goal.

If you thoroughly learned all the lessons in AA by heart and made no use of it you would find it but a waste of time and effort.

You must put your new-found knowledge to work, you must pass it on or it will be not only valueless to humanity but, in all probability, of no material help to you.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

Thanksgiving Prayer—Native American

Great and Eternal Mystery of Life,
Creator of All Things, I give thanks for
the beauty You put in every single one of
Your creations.

I am grateful that You did not fail in
making every stone, plant, creature, and
human being a perfect and whole part of
the Sacred Hoop.

I am grateful that You have allowed me
to see the strength and beauty of
All My Relations.

My humble request is that all of the
children of Earth will learn to see the
same perfection themselves.

May none of Your human children doubt
or question Your wisdom, grace, and
sense of wholeness in giving all of
Creation a right to be living extensions
of Your perfect love.

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

AN INEXHAUSTIBLE SUPPLY

As far as God is concerned, there is no check of any kind upon the amount of divine energy that we can appropriate, or, therefore, upon the things that we can do or be. Yet, for practical purposes, you can draw from the inexhaustible Source only in accordance with the measure of your understanding, just as you can draw water from the Atlantic only in accordance with the size of the vessel that you use. Almost everyone is foolishly content to fill his pitcher. small as it may be, to somewhere very short of the top.

The true manner of God's working is illustrated by a simple anecdote. A certain man was working in his garden, assisted by his little girl who had undertaken the task of watering the lawn by means of the usual rubber hose. Suddenly she cried out: "Daddy, the water has stopped." The father looked over, and, taking in the situation quietly, said, "'Well, take your foot off the hose."

The ultimate cause of all our troubles is just this. Behind all secondary and proximate causes lies the same primary mistake. We have been pressing our feet and the whole weight of our mentality upon the pipe line of life, and then complaining because the water does not flow.

And the Lord shall guide thee continually, and satisfy thy soul in drought . . . and thou shalt be like a watered garden, and like a spring of water, whose waters fail not (Isaiah 58: 11).

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Whose Dream?

To thine own self be true.

~ William Shakespeare ~

In the motion picture out of Africa, Karen Blixen uttered a haunting I confession: “My biggest fear was that I would come to the end of my life and discover that I lived someone else's dream."

Many people live, grow old, and die without recognizing the power to manifest their personal destiny. others seize every opportunity to celebrate their gifts and potential.

What is your dream? lf you had unlimited time, money, and support, what would you love to be doing? Take a moment to explore your soul, and unearth your secret fantasy. Would you write a book? Travel to exotic places? Have a family? Learn photography? Open up a specialty restaurant? Establish a healing center? Your dream may be more available than you realize. Perhaps even now you could take a step in the direction of your vision. You could send away for a brochure, talk to an expert, take a class, or make a "treasure map"-a collage of magazine photos and words clustering around your goal.

Live as if your life depends on it.

I am here for a purpose. Show me what I am to do in the name of joy.

Confident and whole, I step forward to claim my destiny.