[bluidkiti]

July 7

Step by Step

"I couldn't stomach religion, and I didn't like the mention of God or any of the other capital letters. If that was the way out, it wasn't for me.
" ...(B)ut I ran into a personal crisis which filled me with a raging and righteous anger. And as I fumed helplessly and planned to get good and drunk and show them, my eye caught a sentence in the book lying open on my bed: 'We cannot live with anger.' The walls crumbled - and the light streamed in. ...I was free ...This wasn't 'religion' - this was freedom!" - Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, Ch 4 ("Women Suffer Too"), pp 227-8.

Today, if I continue to reject terms like Higher Power or God, let the force stronger than myself be given another name - freedom! Freedom to take back control and refuse bondage to alcohol, guilt, resentment, anger, fear, loneliness and self-pity, to emerge from my self-imposed isolation. Freedom to begin again, this time with the determination for a life that is better, minus all that physical, emotional and spiritual damage stemming from compulsive and addictive drinking. And chances are that the stronger force I call freedom will someday become my Higher Power. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

KNOWLEDGE

When you know a thing, to hold that you know it, and when you do not know a thing, to allow that you do not know it: this is knowledge.

~ Confucius ~

How is it we can hear so much better after we have worked our Steps? Does someone clean the wax out of our ears at night? We find ourselves able to listen to what people are actually saying, not just what we think they are saying. Our Program teaches us not to judge words before or after they are spoken. We leave judging to God. We try to learn from everybody, for each person we meet has knowledge.

Knowledge has become available to us as never before. We no longer fear new ideas and opinions which are not our own. Our recovery becomes deeper each moment we open our minds to new ideas.

Knowledge is freely offered. In turn, I keep myself growing and accepting the knowledge that comes my way. When I don't know something, I admit it. Knowing that I don't know is also knowledge.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

It is the wounded oyster that mends its shell with pearl.

~ Ralph Waldo Emerson ~

Many of us felt like outsiders in the past. As children we weren’t in the most popular group, or we were picked last when teams were chosen. And almost everyone has been picked on sometimes. As adults our wounds may have been self-inflicted, but no less painful for that. The key question today is, are we still on a track that creates more wounds, or are we on the mend?

There is great spiritual benefit to knowing what it feels like to be a wounded person. It provides the resource that many great men have built their wisdom and perspective upon. We all know men we admire deeply who have come through hard and painful times, not knowing how it would all turn out. They followed this path of healing and spiritual growth and, because of their healing, have become men of the highest quality.

Today I can see my past wounds as a source for spiritual and emotional strength.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

I like to think my purpose in life is to love.

~ Jane Nakken ~

Most would agree that we are here for a reason. Reflecting on where we have come from and the changes that have occurred in our lives, we are convinced that some Power has been present every step of the way. We do have both a purpose and a protector.

The panic to determine our specific purpose is not unusual for addicts like us. We demand absolutes; guesswork frightens us. But finding a sponsor who will tell us that our purpose doesn’t matter will be to our benefit. From her we’ll learn to take our experiences in stride, trusting that we’ll discover who we are and what we need to do next if we accept life as it unfolds.

If we must have a purpose now, choosing to believe our purpose is loving others eases our way. And really, there is no purpose more worthy any-way.

Today I will express to others the love I know my Higher Power has for me. It’s the best action I can take.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I feel stronger when I focus on the positive

Since I have a dual disorder, I can easily obsess about my past, my pain, my problems. But this does not help (as I'm finding out). When I focus on my weaknesses or liabilities, I just feel weaker.

I understand that in dual recovery it is important to be aware of character defects and my behavior. But what I need to concentrate on is the present, my progress, and what I am doing to recover. When I focus on my strengths or assets, I get what I need: more strength.

Today I will write out two affirmations about my strengths and remind myself of them at meals.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

Freedom is a system based on courage.

~ Charles Peguy ~

Perhaps the most difficult thing to reclaim is our freedom. During active addiction, freedom was often a word we used to rationalize sick behavior and avoid being responsible for ourselves. We lost all hope of happiness and growth.

Now we know that true freedom comes only from the courageous act of surrender. When we accept God’s help in defeating our addiction, we find again the supreme freedom and happiness that come to one who has overcome the impossible.

With our new courage, and with the help of our Higher Power, we’re learning to share our freedom and happiness with others.

Today let me be grateful for all of God’s remarkable, freedom-producing gifts. How happy I am to be a part of Your world.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

I am beginning to learn that it is the sweet, simple things of life which are the real ones after all.

~ Laura Ingalls Wilder ~

It is often advised in meetings to check your baggage at the door. What this means is that too often there is a tendency to drag everything around with you in recovery: your past, your childhood issues, everything and everyone you have lost, your anger or sadness, your inability to forgive yourself and others, and more. Such things can weigh you down to such an extent that they can prevent you from moving forward.

Similarly, the greater the number of physical things you carry around with you, the more overwhelmed you may feel about life in general. Take time to look into your closets and go through your bureau drawers. Peer into your garage, basement, and attic. Then ask yourself, “What do I really need?”

Mother Mary Madeleva once said, “I like to go to Marshall Field’s in Chicago just to see how many things there are in the world that I do not want.” So too can you start to use a critical eye in reviewing the possessions that stuff your life.

I will take the time to assess not only what I need to carry around with me in recovery, but also the things in my life.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

You have learned something. That always feels at first as if you had lost something.

~ George Bernard Shaw ~

We listen as we watch the newcomer cry, “After coming to meetings, I realized my parents couldn't be there for me anymore. They have an addictive disease and I can't get the help I need from them. I feel like I've lost them!" We may nod our heads as we relate these words to our lives.

Didn't we feel like we had lost family, friends, or mates when we began learning the truths in the program? As we learned about addiction, we were faced with just how much we had depended on others to help us. We discovered we weren't who we thought we were. We realized there could be another way of life.

A snake must shed its old skin before the new one can appear. Like furniture, parts of us become worn and uncomfortable. We must replace the old with the new. For every gain, there must be a loss. But instead of mourning our losses tonight, we can rejoice over what we have gained.

I can be grateful for all the gains in my life and in my growth. The losses have allowed me to become stronger and more fruitful.

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Carrying the message

None of us is the ultimate Twelfth-Stepper. Carrying the message of Step Twelve is one of the most important aspects of our recovery, but it can become a problem. The danger is when we try to impress people or get grandiose rather than simply carry the message.

It is not our power or personality that helps people on Step Twelve calls; rather it’s the power and truth of the program working through us. It makes our hands steady and clears our minds. We only carry the message; God delivers it.

Am I a good Twelfth-Stepper?

Higher Power, in carrying the message of recovery to those who still suffer, help me be clear and humble.

Today I will practice humility by

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

I can live for two months on a good compliment.

~ MARK TWAIN ~

Newcomer

At a meeting I shared about a loss I’ve gone through, and the response was amazing. People expressed sympathy and understanding, and a number of them shared experiences of their own that were similar to mine. It surprised me. I’d told the same story at a different meeting, and people there didn’t say a thing to me. I had left feeling like there was something wrong with me. I can’t figure out what I did differently this time; maybe there was something about the way I shared.

Sponsor

My hunch is that the difference in response to your sharing from different groups of people had to do with things over which you had no control. There are many possible explanations for people’s responses to us; we needn’t assume we’re responsible for what they do or don’t do.

There’s an Al-Anon slogan (nicknamed “The Three C’s”) that says, “I didn’t cause it, I can’t control it, and I can’t cure it.” For me, it’s a helpful one to remember, especially when people in my life are active in an addiction or are on a “dry drunk.” It’s useful in situations with non-addicts, too. Most human beings behave as they do for reasons that have little to do with us.

We’re entitled to support and response from other human beings. When I find myself in a group where I experience a warm, engaged response from others, I make a point of returning. Support and validation from others quenches one of my deepest thirsts. But we can’t rely on others to give us a sense of self-esteem. That comes from within; it grows as we do the work of recovery.

Today, I go where I find food for my spirit.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

Remember those days when we were SMART; when we knew our way around; when nobody could tell us what to do; when we actually felt sorry for the dumb SOB's who labored every day and took their pay check home to Mama?

In those days, the world had chosen up sides; we were on one side and everybody else was on the other. We would work them for all we could; they in turn kicked us around at every opportunity.

Frankly, fellows, who was actually smart and who dumb?

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

I Must Change

Spirit of the Universe, I pray to remember.
No one can make me change.
No one can stop me from changing.
No one really knows how I must change,
Not even I. Not until I start.
Help me remember that it only takes a slight shift
In direction to begin to change my life.

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

HOW TO GET A DEMONSTRATION

Here is one way of solving a problem by scientific prayer.

Get by yourself and be quiet for a few moments. Do not strain to think rightly or to find the right thought, but just be quiet. Remind yourself that the Bible says "Be still, and know that I am God."

Then begin to think about God. Remind yourself of some of the things that you know about Him—that he is present everywhere, that He knows you and loves you and cares for you. Read a few verses of the Bible, or a paragraph from any spiritual book that helps you.

During this state it is important not to think about your problem, but to give your attention to God. In other words, do not try to solve your problem directly (which would be using will power) but rather become interested in thinking of the nature of God.

Next claim the thing that you need. Claim it quietly and confidently, as you would ask for something to which you are entitled. Then give thanks for the accomplished fact as you would if somebody handed you a gift. Jesus said when you pray, believe that you receive and you shall receive.

Do not discuss your treatment with anyone.

In quietness and in confidence shall be your strength . . . (Isaiah 30:15).

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Heir Pollution

A man is made impure not by what goes into his mouth, but by what comes out of it.

~ Jesus Christ ~

A man at a Hindu ashram came to Swami Muktananda and complained, "You must get rid of my roommate! He is a smoker, and his foul smoke is polluting the atmosphere in my room. Someone as vile as he should not be allowed here!"

Muktananda thought for a moment and responded, “I will change your room for his sake, not yours. Polluting thephysical atmosphere with smoke is an offense, but polluting the psychic atmosphere with judgment is worse. You are hurting yourself and the universe more with your anger and judgment than he is with his smoke."

What we do with our bodies is important, but what we do with our minds and hearts is even more important. Because we are all spiritual beings, the condition of our spirit is more real and meaningful than the physical atmosphere. Of course we must take care to keep a clean physical environment, but before that, we must be sure our thoughts are in harmony with a loving and forgiving universe.

We are heirs to the Kingdom of Heaven, which we magnify by thinking and acting in accordance with our identity as godly beings. Fear and judgment muddy our vision of love. Let us claim our inheritance by aligning our minds and hearts with the pure spirits we are.

Let my thoughts reflect divinity; help me walk in the golden atmosphere of truth.

My mind is the mind of God. My heart is a vehicle of pure love.