[bluidkiti]

January 18

Quote of the Week

"If you think you want a drink, just roll the tape to the end."

Alcoholism is cunning, baffling, and powerful. It is the only disease that constantly tells me I don’t have a disease. That’s why sometimes, and without warning, I’ll find myself nursing the idea that a drink might be a good idea—a nice cold beer at a barbeque, a glass of red wine at dinner, a colorful cocktail at a chic bar. If I just think about the drink, I could be thinking myself into big trouble. . . .

At the meetings I attend there are recovery slogans on the wall. “One day at a time,” “Live and let live,” and such. There is also a slogan that is hung upside down. It is “Think, Think, Think.” When I asked my sponsor why it was upside down, he said it was to remind me that the problems of the alcoholic are centered in the mind. He said there would be times when I would have no mental defense against taking that first drink. He said that maintaining my spiritual condition, staying close to the program, and reaching out to others in the fellowship would be key in situations like this.

Other times, however, when I am able to think past the drink, I try to roll the tape to the consequences of where that first drink will lead me. Once I reach the inevitable end, I recoil as if from a hot flame. The illusion of fun and easy times is replaced by the hopelessness and incomprehensible demoralization I’ve experienced before, and that I know will come again from picking up that drink. Today, I try to think my way to the inevitable, miserable end and so save myself and others from the hurt and suffering that alcohol has always caused me.