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September 22

Step by Step

Today, the lifeline has been tossed and the Big Book provided. This is the day I grab onto both. The time for wallowing stops, and it’s time to get to the business of moving on. God help me if I can’t say enough is enough, that I haven’t become disgusted enough with myself, that I obviously prefer life in a gutter. God grant me the anger, even fury, to realize I can’t kid myself any longer just as I stopped fooling everyone long ago – except myself. Today, I’m sick of the pathetic person I awaken to every morning with a hangover, using whatever excuse or justification I can to keep drinking, fed up with the person I am who evokes from most everyone a sigh and shake of the head as if I’m a lost cause. Alright, then! Yesterday, I was a lost cause. Today, I’m angry and fed up enough to grab onto the cause that can restore me. The lifeline of AA has been thrown to me, the Big Book opened. Today, I take up both. Enough is enough. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

SELF-ESTEEM

Nobody holds a good opinion of a man who has a low opinion of himself.

~ Anthony Trollope ~

We often hear, "It takes what it takes." Recovery works for those who not only want it badly enough but also know the Program will improve their self-esteem if they work at it. We also know that we cannot succeed unless we follow the Steps of the Program and continue to work with others in every way.

To succeed, we have to stop thinking we are less than other people. We tell ourselves we are not unworthy, inadequate, or unable to cope fully with life's problems. We begin to see the glass as half-full, instead of half-empty. We have to get rid of feelings of inability before we can make progress. If we change our thoughts, we change ourselves.

By holding a positive attitude based on an honest and realistic self-knowledge of myself, I will continue to build my self-esteem and have the esteem of others.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

Never give in. Never give in. Never, never, never, never, never—in nothing, great or small, large or petty—never give in.

~ Winston Churchill ~

In the Serenity Prayer we seek to accept the things we cannot change and to change the things we can. Many of us have been discouraged by repeated relapses and by overwhelming problems. This is a time when we need to discern between what we can and cannot change. A man with diabetes, after first losing his eyesight and then one leg to his disease, says that he carries on, loving life, because he still chooses to have purpose and meaning. He cannot change his disease; he has to accept it.

Our heroes aren’t the guys who had it easy. The greatest heroes are always the ones who battled with discouragement and great challenges. A relapse isn’t the end of the story. We have risked losing everything, including our lives, but if we survived, we never go back to square one. Our past, no matter how dark, is a resource to build upon. If we have relapsed, we don’t lose what we learned in our past time of recovery. We only need to diligently learn from our mistakes and return to what we know recovery still offers.

Today I resolve to never give up on life.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

When I am lonely, I try to think of angels.

~ Betty MacDonald ~

We need comfort when we feel lonely. Loneliness is often coupled with fear. We wonder, Can I handle what faces me today? Often we think we can’t. But we don’t ever have to face any situation alone, or handle any painful relationship in isolation. The “angels” who guide and protect us are as close as our thoughts.

Twelve Step programs give us the freedom to define our Higher Power in any way that suits us. Believing our Higher Power is an angel satisfies our need to have someone watching over us, protecting us wherever we are, loving us despite our failings.

We are nurtured or harmed by the thoughts we carry in our minds. Imagining an angel or a ring of angels to walk us through each day relieves our loneliness and dissipates our fears.

I have a friend in my Higher Power. We’ll be together throughout this day.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I need to take care of the basics

In this process of getting abstinent and stable, sometimes I get so discouraged I hardly care about how I look. Sometimes even keeping my body clean and putting on clean clothes don’t seem to matter much. Sometimes I simply don't take care of myself.

But I've learned that in everyday recovery from a dual disorder, taking care of basic hygiene really does make a difference. It helps me keep up my self-esteem and it helps me feel more at ease around people. Doing the basics for my body can help me stay balanced, avoid relapse, and generally be happier.

I will write down the basic ways I must take care of my body each day and then be sure to include them in my daily recovery plan.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

It would not be better if things happened to men just as they wish.

~ Heraclitus ~

We may have come into recovery silently thinking, "Now I’ll find out how to make everyone change!” Only after hard work and determination do we come to understand that we must be the one to do the changing.

We may be willing to change our thinking, but this also requires accepting the responsibilities that go along with that change. Sometimes we will have to accept the hurt as well as the happiness. Self- knowledge gives us great power — it releases us from past actions and gives us the power to make better choices in the present. It is up to us to be responsible and deal with change in a positive way.

Change can open many doors in our lives and we need not be afraid of this challenge. Look how much we’ve changed since we got sober. Our bodies and minds are healthy and fit again. And with the help of our Higher Power, we’ve embraced our spiritual selves as never before. All these came from making one positive choice after another. In recovery, we have the power to keep making changes that enrich our lives.

Today let me change one small thing in me to make myself a better person.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

We’ll never know the worth of water till the well go dry.

~ Scottish proverb ~

Think of the process entailed in applying for a loan. First you have to fill out an application. Then you must make all of your financial information available. Finally, you must wait until the lending company has assessed the risk involved in loaning you the money. If you have a good credit history and income, your loan will most likely be approved. But if your credit history is not good and you are not making enough money to cover the loan payments, then your application will most likely be denied.

So many things in life are determined by a similar process of assessment before approval or disapproval is given. But this is not the way the program works. Nor is it the way your relationship with a Higher Power is developed.

In essence, there is no room for excuses in the program or with your Higher Power. You are worthy, even if you think you are not. You are loved, even if you do not love yourself. You are accepted, even if you are not yet accepting of yourself. You are forgiven, even if you have not yet forgiven yourself. And you are approved, no matter how many times you have failed in the past.

I will not use any excuses to distance myself from the program or from a Higher Power.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

Live so that you wouldn't be ashamed to sell the family parrot to the town gossip.

~ Will Rogers ~

We may have been brought up to feel a great deal of guilt and shame over the actions of our alcoholic families. As we grew older we may have chosen to act inappropriately toward others so we could continue to feel the guilt and shame that had become so familiar to us.

Are we ashamed or guilty about our behaviors today? Chances are we have so improved our attitudes and our self-image that we now act in mature, responsible ways. We may feel quite proud today about the good people we are becoming.

Today we may feel a lot less fear about our actions. We may be more confident that we aren't antagonizing people anymore or making a spectacle of ourselves. Tonight we can be proud of who we are and project this pride to others.

Tonight I feel I'm on the right path. I'm no longer filled with guilt or shame about my actions. I'm proud of me!

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Seeking truth

As addicts, we were sure we knew the truth, but we didn’t. We knew very little about truth but a lot about the lie of addiction.

In recovery, we want to find out what is true for us. We do this by listening carefully to others, asking questions, and then slowly deciding for ourselves.

Am I seeking the truth?

Higher Power, help me to be open to new truths and strong enough to apply them in my life.

Today I will be authentic by

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

There is no love apart from the deeds of love; no potentiality of love but that which is manifested in loving.

~ JEAN-PAUL SARTRE ~

Newcomer

Sometimes I wonder if I can give or receive love. When I think about my past in active addiction, there was passion and drama, but not a lot of love. There hasn't been much of it in my recovery so far, either.

Sponsor

What exactly are we talking about when we talk about love? Many of us—and this was certainly true of me—have used this word primarily to describe a fantasy. We imagined that somewhere there was an ideal person who could meet all our needs and make us whole. Love meant rescue or a problem-free relationship. When we didn't find it, we bewailed our loneliness and bad luck.

Love is not something that is bestowed on us. We can create it, every day. It grows in each of us as we take actions that affirm our respect and caring for others and ourselves. Love is not limited to romantic encounters, but extends to our daily relationships with other people, including our friends and members of our communities. Love is not in scarce supply. Our acts of kindness and service and our practice of genuine tolerance renew love in the world and in our hearts.

Today, I add to the abundance of many kinds of love in my life.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

We alcoholics had contracted the world until it was no larger than ourselves and our narrow interests. We had few interests that extended beyond our hand or our eye. Everything else was relegated to another world entirely apart from us. It is little wonder that the world gave us no more thought, except for our nuisance value, than they did a man from Mars for, we too, were occupants of another world.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

You Give Me Strength

Lord God, thank You for loving me
Even when I turn away from You.
I am grateful for Your constant care and concern.
Though I feel unworthy of Your great love,
I thank You that through my weakness
You give me strength,
And in my wanderings You show me the way.

~ Author Unknown ~

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

FACING TWO WAYS

Are you double-minded? Jesus says that a double-minded man is unstable in all his ways, and that such a person need expect nothing from the Great Law.

If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him. But let him ask in faith, nothing wavering. For he that wavereth is like a wave of the sea driven with the wind and tossed. For let not that man think that he shall receive any thing of the Lord (James 1:5-7).

This is very obvious common sense. If you affirm one thing now, and the opposite in half an hour; if you meditate helpfully and then go downstairs to talk trouble; it is entirely natural that you should fail to influence people with the peace that comes with prayer.

If you stepped into a taxi at Grand Central and told the driver to take you to Central Park, and then, after a block, told him to drive you to the Battery and then after a couple of blocks asked him to go to Central Park again, you could hardly expect the driver to land you at any destination. And yet this is what a good many of us do in practice. We affirm both harmony and disharmony until the subconscious mind is completely muddled, and, of course, our lives are in confusion.

Where our words and deeds reinforce one another the effect is powerful and the result certain. Where they are not in accord they cancel out, leaving us where we started, or more likely worse off.

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Letters from God

Dreams are like letters from God. Isn't it time you answered your mail?

~ Marie Louise von Franz ~

Dreams carry some of the most important messages of our lives. When we sleep at night, the static of the conscious mind is stilled, and Spirit is able to speak to us through symbols, imparting what we are unable to access during our daily activities. An entire world of blessing is available to us in our dreams.

There are at least four levels and types of dreams, all of which offer us healing. Some dreams work out unresolved issues from our day. If you underwent a traumatic situation such as an argument or near-miss auto accident, and you did not take time to process it, your subconscious will perform that unraveling for you. Other dreams are prophetic; Universal Mind is giving you a vision of a situation that will or could happen if you stay on your current course. Other dreams allow us to make contact with people we love or need to meet on the inner plane. If there is someone in your life who has passed on, or from whom you have been separated physically, the world of spirit can give you easy access to communicate with them even more deeply that if you had met them physically. Other dreams are inspirational; directly or through a messenger, God brings you love, guidance, and confidence. lf you wake up with a feeling of deep peace in your heart, you have been touched by Spirit on the inner plane.

Before going to sleep, prepare yourself to receive the richest gifts in your dream world. Do not eat a heavy meal, watch negative television shows, argue, or stir up your thinking mind with office work. Instead, read uplifting material. Listen to gentle music, or meditate before retiring. As you close your eyes, ask the Holy Spirit and your guides to come to you during your sleep time and bless you with rest, healing, and any information or visions that will help you spiritually. Thank God for your day and the night to come. Happy dreams!

Father, be with me tonight. Speak to me through my visions.

I am open and receptive to God's guidance and healing.