Quote:
The Relationship Dance
“A lady of forty-seven who has been married twenty-seven years and has six children knows what love really is and once described it for me like this: Love is what you've been through with somebody.”
— James Thurber
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Looked at this quote and thought, "I don't know what love is, I just know what it isn't." My sister has been married almost 47 years. I know that I was never willing to play the roles that she was willing to play to maintain her marriage.
It took me two husband to get 10 years of marriage to two abusive husbands. The difference in recovery, was recognizing a situation for what it was and not willing to go through that experience again. For the most part, it was someone, getting comfortable in my space and unwilling to make space for themselves.
When I look to another to complete my needs, I am forgetting that God meets my needs. I need to be complete and whole within myself. Two needy people make for an unhealthy relationship, and I know that when I get needy, as I have said many times, I get greedy. When I get greedy, my dis-ease kicks in and I want more, whether it is attention, money, 'stuff' and/or work, busy, food, or some other form of drug, even if I don't pick up alcohol or street or prescription drugs.
Drugs come in the flesh and blood variety. When I fix you up, I don't have to look at me. When I make you all better, I can compare instead of identify, and honey, you are so much sicker than I am.
